Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              “Let’s welcome our new marketing assistants, Yuko, Kazuki, and Toujou. Let’s give them a warm applause!”

              The department head continued to speak after the applause died down but all Tatsumi could think of was how this universe, controlled by the tropes of the BL World, was a huge pain in the ass. In order not to stand out Tatsumi joined in on the applause and even added some mediocre cheering for all the new members, but deep inside he was already rationalizing ways in order not to raise any flags with the new members. Tatsumi had worked hard not to raise any flags with any of the men in the company and he has maintained his single status ever since he got hired here, new recruits were always the biggest concerns whenever they appear since a new flag can be triggered with the introduction of new characters. That being said, Kazuki was a worry but not as much as Toujou. Tatsumi still can’t believe that his younger brother’s boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, had suddenly reappeared in his life after years of not even seeing the other aside from those posts he sees Ayato post in social media now and then. And the last time he’s even heard of Toujou was two years ago when Ayato had brought up in passing that they had broken up during a call. Tatsumi had tried to console Ayato but true to his tsundere-nature his younger brother had insisted he was fine and that it was for the best. Respectfully, Tatsumi never brought it up after that.

              But now he thinks he should’ve been nosier after all.

              The burning question is, what was Toujou doing all the way here in Oita prefecture when his last workplace was all the way back in Tokyo?

              As the head of the Tourism Industry Division went around introducing the rookies to every member of the team Tatsumi greeted Yuko and Kazuki normally with the usual smile and handshake but when it came to greeting Toujou Tatsumi could do nothing when the younger man grabs his hand and beams his trademark ikemen smile, complete with the sparkles and blooming flowers in the background.

              “It’s good to see you again Tatsumi-san!”

              Tatsumi could merely return a cordial smile and shakes the other’s hand. “It’s been a while Toujou-kun. Good to see you.”

              Not one to miss details, the boss Itsuko, smiles with a sly look in her eyes. “Oh Toujou-kun you know Tatsumi? Then wouldn’t it be great to let Tatsumi be the one to show you the ropes around here, right Tatsumi?”

              A new worker being pushed under their superior’s guidance was a blatant flag and Tatsumi has avoided being a victim of it for so long. But knowing his boss, Tatsumi was aware this wasn’t a suggestion but rather an order. And no matter what excuse he comes up with, to decline a blatant order wouldn’t end well with his boss. Taking the loss, Tatsumi forces a polite smile. “Right, Itsuko-san.”

              “Good! Toujou-kun you’ll be working with Tatsumi while you adjust to the work schedule and work load. Yuko and Kazuki come with me and we’ll find suitable seniors to guide you as well.” Itsuko heartily announces, leaving behind Tatsumi to deal with their new hire.

              The blond does a graceful bow, smile still on his lips. “Then I’ll be under your care Tatsumi-san.”

              To his credit Toujou didn’t say anything more and simply waited for Tatsumi to start talking. Taking the olive branch, Tatsumi dove into explaining all that needed to be pointed out. Since they worked under the Tourism Industry Division they usually handled paperwork from clients and customers who are looking for suitable businesses for their own individual requirements. This means that they’re the middlemen who connect the businesses in Beppu in recommendation to their clients. Usually these businesses will be onsens, restaurants, hotels, and travel and tour agencies. For the most part Tatsumi handled the boring paperwork but he can already see Itsuko making use of Toujou’s natural good looks and polite speech to draw in more high-stake clients and to close deals. Of course, this is merely a guess, but so far Tatsumi hasn’t been that far off from his guesses. In that regard maybe he doesn’t have to worry about bumping into Toujou in work all that often, he will just have to keep their conversations limited to topics about work and avoid anything to do with him outside of office related issues.

              “For our team there are a few desk spaces that are unoccupied. I’m sure Itsuko-san has already told you this. Feel free to choose any of the available ones.” As soon as the words left his mouth Tatsumi felt regret as Toujou immediately eyes the closest free desk, which was the one directly beside Tatsumi’s desk.

              “Thank you for all the useful information Tatsumi-san.” And then to the older man’s surprise Toujou points to the desk farther away, nearest to the window. “I’ll be taking that desk then. Can I ask you if any more questions arise with work?”

              Still processing his shock Tatsumi agrees. “Sure.”

              “Thank you. Then I’ll be starting work now. See you around Tatsumi-san.”

              “Uh yeah, see you.”

              Toujou heads to his new desk, leaving Tatsumi confused. What just happened? Clearly there was a free desk right beside Tatsumi and Toujou certainly saw it, it was right in front of him. And yet the younger man had chosen a desk further away instead. In BL wouldn’t the main character usually be blatant about their interest…

              Wait a minute.

              Tatsumi takes his seat and quickly tries to make it look like he was busy with work, but in truth he was dissecting what currently happened in his typical analytical fashion. Toujou is certainly not acting like what Tatsumi would expect in a BL situation, did this mean that because they have history with Ayato being Tatsumi’s younger brother and Toujou being Ayato’s ex, perhaps the complex situation had saved Tatsumi from raising any possible flags with Toujou?? Yes, that could be possible. After all Tatsumi hasn’t read a lot of BL where the love interest’s ex eventually ends up with their former love interest’s sibling. Yes, that’s right, this could mean Tatsumi might be safe from raising any flags with the ever attention-catching Toujou.

              Satisfied with his deduction, for now Tatsumi resumes the work he had piled up and intended to keep interactions with Toujou to a minimum.

-=-=-=-

              This was awkward.

              Toujou was working at the pile of paperwork given to him which was light considering it was only his first day at work. And it was a blessing because with his current speed Toujou would be able to complete the tasks just as the workday ends. He’s a bit distracted at the fact that Ayato’s brother of all people was in the same company that Toujou had been hired at.

              Truthfully, Toujou had decided to leave Tokyo in search of a different scenery, Tokyo carried too many memories about his time with Ayato and he was tired of being reminded about his relationship that ended without much of his say about it. Their breakup was a mutual decision and Ayato himself had agreed that they were better off as friends, the romantic aspect of their relationship hadn’t survived the challenges of college, going to different schools, having different friend circles, and also holding up different part-time jobs. They had managed to make it work to the extent that they were still able to find the time to spend with each other and to work, but the earlier passion and romantic love for each other simply died down like sizzling embers doused by a torrent of rain. Toujou had felt their love grow colder a year before their breakup but he hadn’t said anything until Ayato eventually brought up the topic during a date where neither of them seemed enthused to be watching a movie cuddled next to each other.

              And so they had agreed to breakup and stay as friends.

              Still, a breakup is a breakup and it hurt. It also didn’t help that wherever Toujou went there was a shop, a café, a street, a snack, or even a movie poster that reminded him of Ayato and all the places they went and the things they did together. With the unending reminders Toujou decided to cut his losses and apply for a company in Beppu.

              Thus, he was equally surprised and irked when the last person he had expected to meet was exactly in the same prefecture, the same city, and the same company. What kind of bad luck did Toujou have?

              His plans of moving away in order to give himself much needed space and new experiences was easily thwarted by the presence of someone he hadn’t seen in four long years. How was Toujou supposed to cope with this situation?

              Just don’t make a big deal out of it. The sensible side of his brain offered helpfully and Toujou suppressed a sigh. Of course that sounded simple as any hypothetical could, but he knows it would be harder to apply in real life. But then again, it’s not like he could up and leave just because Tatsumi-san was here. Toujou can’t leave behind this new job either. It would reflect poorly on his work records and he’ll surely be questioned by any new job he applies to about the sudden shift without any acceptable reason.

              Reigning himself in, back to his typical cool self-control, Toujou decides to accept reality and makes a note to keep interactions with Tatsumi-san limited to work only.

              It’s not like they’d see each other outside of work anyway.

-=-=-=-

              Itsuko beams at the rest of the department as the clock strikes six in the evening. “Alright everyone! We’ll have an early end of the day today, close up your computers, and clean up your desks! We’ll all be headed to Nishikawa’s Izakaya to party and celebrate the three new recruits who have joined our department!”

              Everyone clapped and cheered. Meanwhile Tatsumi was already thinking of ways to avoid raising any flags while he attended the party, because even if he didn’t want to go ‘not going’ also guaranteed that he would trigger a flag. Just to be on the safe side he would go as he normally does and fade into the background with his usual mob interactions.

              Nishikawa’s Izakaya was a staple for the company since it was close and it offered great drinks and food for reasonable prices. Tatsumi himself was partial to this izakaya since he moved to Beppu, even though he rotated the places he went to after work in order not to draw any attention to himself by becoming a regular.

              “Drink! Drink!”

              Tatsumi turned to the rowdy corner where a group of guys seem to be pouring and refilling Kazuki’s glass as the younger man downs each shot at the encouragement. Peer pressure like this was something Tatsumi experienced as a new hire but he was mindful not to go overboard while humoring his superiors’ and colleagues’ “encouragement”. Tatsumi managed to go home not too drunk at that time, successfully avoiding every possible flag that appeared, but basing on the speed which Kazuki was downing those drinks, Tatsumi was already suspecting that someone will end up having to carry the man home since he will most likely end up heavily drunk by the time the party concludes.

              Subtly, Tatsumi looks at the other end of the room to the two new recruits and Yuko was being pestered by two older women while Toujou was obviously surrounded by both men and women who weren’t even subtle at showing their interest in the bachelor.

              True to his prince charming designation Toujou was easily able to avoid answering any personal questions through the way he words things and comes up with answers that could be half-truth but spun beautifully descriptive that none of the people listening probably understood the meaning but loved to hear Toujou speak anyway so they simply nod along. Tatsumi didn’t realize he was stuck staring until Toujou’s eyes slid to his and Tatsumi tries not to freeze. What was wrong with Tatsumi, why was he out of his game? He knew first hand not to stare too long at anyone no matter the reason, that always raises a flag.

              Once more Tatsumi is surprised as Toujou only gives him a polite smile in acknowledgement and goes back to answering the dozens of questions that bombarded him.

              Tatsumi blinks slowly and turns back to the sushi in front of him, stuffing his mouth and eating to keep busy. Another flag with Toujou avoided without Tatsumi’s input. Somehow that was new and in its own way assuring. Perhaps his theory about Toujou not raising any flags when it concerned Tatsumi was true? Nodding in reassurance, Tatsumi happily enjoys the party and doesn’t overly become critical with flags and other romantically possible events as soon as the desserts show up with a yogurt sweet shaped in the form of a cat.

              Wandering eyes momentarily look away from the gaggle of ladies and gents vying for his attention. The blonde looked up in time to see something interesting. Toujou definitely doesn’t suppress a chuckle when he sees Tatsumi fawning over the cute dessert, snapping several pictures, and hesitating on destroying the yogurt cat before caving and eating the dessert before anyone else can steal the bowl from him.

              Tatsumi-san always did like anything that was related to cats. Mii-chan was his favorite after all.

              Toujou himself didn’t realize the passing thought, dragged back to reality as another senior asks him about his past job and what he had done before moving to Beppu. Forcing himself to keep smiling Toujou continues to try to answer those prying, keeping the replies short and sweet and revealing nothing too personal. He has done this dance and song for so many years. Sometimes he does realize how tiring and boring this gets, but he has appearances to upkeep so he clenches his teeth and remains a steady charming presence.

              The party concludes soon enough and everyone made their own way home. As Tatsumi had predicted correctly Kazuki ended up being assisted by one of the few remaining bachelors in the department, a very straight-laced and blunt man named Shou. The older man promised to bring Kazuki home safe and sound. Tatsumi tried not to roll his eyes at the cliché event, already knowing that the two men would end up falling for each other within the coming week due to what was about to happen. In the end Tatsumi was just glad it wasn’t him.

              But a nagging feeling deep in his mind begun rearing its unwelcomed presence. Isn’t this getting boring?

              Automatically Tatsumi ignored the thought and headed to the train station before it got too late and they ended up closing on him.

-=-=-=-

              “Uhm-“

              “Huh-“

              The two men gawk at each other as they both walked in the same direction after exiting the same train car. Tatsumi had been keen on ignoring the other man and the same could be said with Toujou, which was easy to do with the train being packed like usual especially with it being the last train. Even when they exited the train they were minding their own business until the crowd started dwindling and the street narrowed to a subdivision where the foot traffic was obviously lesser, leaving the two of them and a scant number of people walking towards the same way.

              Sensing that they can’t be openly ignoring each other like this for long Toujou tried to speak but Tatsumi spoke at the same time. Toujou covered up the awkward moment with a cough and then said, “You go first Tatsumi-san.”

              “On your way home Toujou-kun?”

              “Yes, you as well?”

              “That’s right.”

              The conversation dries up quickly, the silence growing more awkward as they continue to walk side by side without talking. Their steps on pavement seems to echo louder than usual with the lack of words and conversation. Both men tried to not pay any notice to the awkwardness of it all, because what could they even talk about? All things considered the only connection they had before was Ayato and that was a bad topic to bring up flag or not. Without Ayato in the picture they were simply co-workers with a vague understanding of each other due to their past connection through Ayato.

              Unable to take the weird atmosphere any longer, Toujou decided to fill the silence with a safe topic that didn’t require anything personal. “It seems the company here treats newbies the same as companies do in Tokyo.”

              Tatsumi can’t let the conversation end too fast so he replies with his neutral tone, “I guess that’s true. I never paid it much mind since it’s a normal thing in the working field.”

              “I guess so.” Toujou noncommittally shrugs. “I was just hoping that welcome parties would be different here since it’s in another prefecture entirely. But I suppose this is simply how it is in companies in Japan.”

              Tatsumi makes an acknowledging hum. “Maybe it is a Japanese thing.”

              “I suppose not much can be done if it’s already a common thing that it has also reached the level of almost being part of the culture. At least that’s what I’ve gathered from experience and from watching videos on the internet about it.”

              “Huh, that’s certainly an interesting topic to be searching about.”

              Toujou shrugged. “I just randomly scrolled on a video about it once and now I can’t help but notice that some of the videos observations are indeed true.”

              Tatsumi nods. “Sometimes that does happen. You can’t notice that something’s odd if you grew up doing it, it takes a different perspective from someone growing up in a totally different environment to point it out.”

              “That’s definitely it.” Toujou paused in front of an average looking three-story building. “Well, this is me. I’ll see you around at work Tatsumi-san.”

              For the first time Tatsumi looks stumped, staring at Toujou with wide eyes and barely hidden confusion.

              “This is where your apartment is Toujou-kun?”

              “Yes.” Toujou then asks, a bit thrown off with the other man’s flabbergasted expression. “Is there a problem?”

              Tatsumi shakes his head, trying not to appear weirded out. “No, no. It’s not a problem exactly. It’s just…Well… I live in this building too.”

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              The coincidences were getting weirder and weirder. Not only has Toujou coincidentally moved to the same prefecture, the same city, and be employed in the same company as Tatsumi, but now the younger man is also living in the same exact apartment building. Tatsumi tries not to grimace. Just when he was being confident about his ‘too much history to raise any flags’ theory the universe slaps this new thing in his face. Tatsumi’s going to be really honest and admit that he is receiving mixed signals here. Was the universe working in ways for Toujou to raise a flag with Tatsumi? Or was it not? Since it was becoming obvious that Toujou was acting as polite as he usually did and he wasn’t acting strange, there was nothing different from the way the younger man interacted with Tatsumi compared to four years ago. What was going on?

              “Oh, well that’s an amazing coincidence huh Tatsumi-san? My apartment’s on the third floor.” Toujou stated conversationally as they walked up the steps.

              Tatsumi answers, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. “I’m also on the third floor…” And then things click into place. “Don’t tell me you’re the new tenant in room 303??”

              Looking momentarily surprised at the outburst Toujou ended up nodding and then spoke up, “You’re correct Tatsumi-san.” And as they both reached the third floor Toujou quickly made his own conclusion based on the presented information. Since Toujou lived in the room at the end of the floor he could only take a guess. “Is it safe to assume that you live in room 302 Tatsumi-san?”

              “That’s right.”

              “So we’re neighbors.”

              “Indeed.”

              “Ah, well then it’s good to know that I have a good neighbor and that I don’t have to do any awkward introductions at least.” Toujou tries to lightly joke.

              Tatsumi tries not to laugh at that but he does allow a slight chuckle. The day’s events have been surprising enough and after the party Tatsumi’s energy has been drained. What’s the harm in another surprise, right? Thankfully the only solace Tatsumi can gain from these random continuous events of coincidences is that Toujou hasn’t shown any of the typical signs of a love interest falling for someone. Typically with triggered flags it was easy to predict who the main character would fall for and who they would be pursuing for the rest of the story until they end up together. But so far Toujou hasn’t shown any of that. In fact, Tatsumi can see that the younger man was just as drained and eager to go home as he was, Toujou’s eyebags were starting to show and even his usually upkept appearance had been looking a bit ruffled.

              Deciding to end his overthinking, Tatsumi says, “It’s nice to meet you new neighbor. Let’s get along and I’ll see you around Toujou-kun.”

              Toujou smiles, already slotting his key into the lock with his free hand as he bows. “Likewise. Goodnight Tatsumi-san.”

              “Goodnight.”

              And with that quick goodbye both men entered their respective apartments.

-=-=-=-

              As predicted Kazuki and Shou ended up getting into an exclusive relationship with each other, Shou blatantly declaring his love to the other man in the office when his lover had questioned his intentions. Yuko on the other hand has revealed she was already married, she and her husband have one child. Toujou, the most desired newbie, remained indistinct about his personal life and dating status to the entire department and no one could get him to crack. Tatsumi himself didn’t care to pry, he had no reason to and he knew that doing so would only encourage the universe to throw flags at them. Although, it also wasn’t a far-off possibility that Toujou was already seeing someone and he just didn’t want to reveal his private affairs to coworkers. But Tatsumi wasn’t going to rely on a guess and he still remained vigilant about possible flags.

              Against all odds and Tatsumi’s suspicions the next two months went by fairly peacefully. For the entire two months Tatsumi and Toujou continue to interact as normal coworkers and normal neighbors. Neither of them went out of their way to instigate conversation with the other unless it was completely related to work. Due to this setup they worked seamlessly as a team, with Tatsumi dealing with the paperwork and general organization Toujou dealt with any interpersonal requirements and face-to-face marketing. Seeing this golden opportunity, Itsuko had appointed them as an official team by the end of the second month, saying she was proud of their cooperation and how it looked like Toujou’s flawless work ethic brought out the best in Tatsumi’s speed and competence in their respective projects.

              When Itsuko brought up Tatsumi’s partnership with Toujou the older man was going to decline at first, arguing that he was quite content with the way he managed his own work but one thing made him rethink his answer, Toujou was an efficient and succinct worker. He was a perfectionist through and through and that made their collaborative projects a breeze. Tatsumi himself wasn’t one to be overly dedicated to his work, but he hated getting delayed with submissions and he never wants to spend overtime fixing someone else’s mistakes. A partnership with Toujou simply made work better and easier, and Tatsumi was an opportunist above all. Plus, since it’s been months and there hasn’t been any signs of raising flags with the other man Tatsumi felt more at ease when he agreed to the partnership.

-=-=-=-

              The partnership was something Toujou agreed to because Itsuko-san had strongly recommended it. At first, he would’ve rather not been in a team, not because Tatsumi-san lacked anything but because Toujou was kind of afraid on the off chance that their interactions would become awkward if either of them managed to bring up the topic of Ayato even once. Toujou has been actively avoiding the subject, consciously stopping any train of thought that would even have the possibility of bringing up Ayato. For example, anything family or sibling related was crossed out of the conversation list and Toujou also made it a point not to bring up mentions of relationships or dating. But after two months it seems that Tatsumi didn’t have any negative sentiments towards Toujou even if he was Ayato’s ex-boyfriend. Toujou couldn’t help but compare the siblings, where Ayato would be more concerned with small stuff like this, Tatsumi was largely laid back and he didn’t delve into anyone else’s business, keeping to himself. With Tatsumi it was relatively easy for Toujou to maintain a degree of professionalism and the older man never brought up anything about their past connection through Ayato. In that aspect Toujou slowly but surely adjusted, realizing he didn’t need to walk on eggshells around Tatsumi in relation to his past with Tatsumi’s younger brother. It was this lackadaisical attitude that made Toujou acquiesce to the partnership. Overall Tatsumi did his job and was keen on finishing work before the deadline, a trait that Toujou very much appreciated and agreed with.

              Thus, both men agreed to the partnership as a mutual benefit.

              Everything continued without any problems arising that is until a week later, but not in the way one expected.

-=-=-=-

              For the third Saturday in a row someone’s alarm was blaring the ‘Nyan Cat’ song which was high pitched, repetitive, and with enough listens it becomes very annoying. Normally Toujou didn’t mind, but Saturdays were his days off and he really wanted to be able to sleep more hours before having to wake up. Not to mention that he had done some overtime yesterday because a coworker, Yuji or something, had been struggling with recovering some files lost during file transfer and the due date was that exact day. It’s a difficult habit to control, but with his student council experiences Toujou fell into the role of ‘problem-solver’ too easily and he had offered his time to help the other. As such he had ended up getting home very late and he wasn’t in a good mood to be awoken at 5 AM on a Saturday morning.

              Toujou groans, still hearing the clamoring alarm in the other apartment, he huffs a curse under his breath. Forcing himself to get out of bed, Toujou tries to ignore the soreness in his neck and shoulders from the long hours and stress of yesterday, he lumbers his way to the front door. Uncaring for his appearance, Toujou leaves his apartment, stands outside listening for the source of the noise and pinpoints where it was coming from. Not thinking too deeply, Toujou follows the annoying alarm and ends up stopping in front of the apartment with the numbers 302 labelled on the white door. If Toujou was in his right mind he would have been more conscious with his actions but a tired Toujou had less patience than normal. Raising his hand Toujou knocks loud and quick.

              Three seconds pass.

              Ten seconds pass.

              Twenty-two seconds pass.

              Again, Toujou knocks louder, three beats firm and unmistakable as they ring through the corridor. More seconds tick by without a reply and Toujou felt a vein pop on his temple, irritation climbing when he still hears the alarm going full blast in the room.

              What was his neighbor doing? Why wasn’t he answering the door?

              Taking a calming breath through his nose, Toujou breathes out slowly before knocking one more time, making it very loud to ensure that whoever was in the room would hear. Luckily, that seems to do the trick since Toujou hears some shuffling from the other side, perhaps something being kicked aside before finally the doorknob twists and the door opens.

              “Yes?”

              All the anger rushes out of Toujou like a deflating balloon even though he was nearly blowing a fuse a second ago. He couldn’t help it the sight in front of him wasn’t something he had expected to see. Tatsumi was barely clothed with a simple navy sleeveless shirt and black shorts, he had a lot of skin showing which Toujou wasn’t used to seeing. The Tatsumi he sees every day is always wearing a suit and even back when they were younger he only ever saw the older man in regular T-shirts, hoodies, jackets, and pants. This Tatsumi was new and Toujou felt a blush crawl up his face, making him heat up for different reasons. Even his tongue felt heavy, but he tries to speak, “Uhm- Tatsumi-san?”

              “Ah Toujou-kun,” Tatsumi, still half-asleep and clearly ready to go back to bed, leaned slightly on the door frame to keep his body upright. His eyes are half-lidded as he looks up at Toujou, lavender hair ruffled from sleep frames his face in a soft way. “Why are you knocking so early in the morning?” Even his sleepy voice was grainy and low, sending a tingling sensation through Toujou’s skin.

              For a moment Toujou is tongue tied until the words register into his mind and he’s reminded of the reason why he knocked in the first place. Collecting himself and presenting a nonplussed smile Toujou replies, “I apologize for disturbing you so early on a weekend Tatsumi-san, but the walls are thin and I’ve been hearing your alarm ring every five am for the past Saturdays. If it’s not too much to ask, could you maybe turn it off during weekends?”

              Tatsumi was still half-asleep so it took him a bit more time to fully process the younger man’s words. Slowly, Tatsumi nods, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah. Ok. I’ll make sure to do that. Sorry if it was bothering you.”

              Satisfied with the answer Toujou bows slightly. “Thank you Tatsumi-san, and again sorry for the interruption. I’ll see you around.”

              Toujou quickly makes his exit before the other can notice the redness of his skin and so that Toujou’s eyes wouldn’t betray him by lingering on pale skin, exposed collarbones, and long lean legs.  Shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his mind, Toujou deems he needs more sleep and ends that train of thought there. He enters his apartment and locks the door behind him, determined to get more sleep before his brain made him conjure more unexpected thoughts about his coworker.

              Meanwhile Tatsumi was left blankly staring at the spot Toujou left, brows furrowed in confusion for a brief moment before groggily going back inside his own apartment, heading straight back to bed. When he wakes up hours later he had completely forgotten what the two of them talked about this morning and continued doing his weekend leisure activities without further issue.

              Although fleeting images of an exhausted and ruffled looking Toujou flashed through his mind once in a while, Tatsumi resolutely ignores them or genuinely doesn’t think much of it as he’s too immersed with watching the new movie that he had been waiting for.

              The weekend passes without further events and neither men bring up what happened that Saturday morning. Both men continue as normal from Monday until Friday, nothing seems amiss.

-=-=-=-

              Saturday arrives and Toujou is regrettably awoken at 5 AM once more by the familiar alarm, a trilling repeat of the ‘Nyan Cat’ song echoes so distinctly that if Toujou could concentrate enough he would probably be able to recite the melody with the vitriol in his system. Annoyed, Toujou once more gets up from his bed way too early on a weekend morning and walks to his destination with purpose.

              When he’s outside Tatsumi’s door Toujou does the same thing that happened last Saturday and in the exact same way it took three attempts before Tatsumi answered the door. Thankfully, this time the older man was wearing a normal shirt and jogging pants. With nothing to distract him Toujou goes straight to the point. Tired and still very sleepy Toujou places his hand on the doorframe to steady himself, with their height difference he has to look down to meet Tatsumi’s eyes and he drawls, voice gruff with sleep or the lack of it, and yet he tries to politely state. “Tatsumi-san I thought we agreed that you’d turn your 5 AM alarm off during weekends?” Toujou couldn’t however, keep the sound of sulkiness out of his voice.

              In this current sleepy state Tatsumi feels a slight offset to his heartbeat at what was happening. It didn’t help that Toujou had those flowers and sparkles around him even as disheveled and messy as he looks. It wasn’t fair how someone could still look so handsome despite being as haggard as Tatsumi probably felt. And with Toujou’s hand stretched out above them, resting on the doorframe, Tatsumi feels like being towered over by the taller man. It’s just not fair, aside from all his other positive qualities Toujou even had him beat in height. Tatsumi feels his heart beat quicken for a negligible amount, a change still not worth noting, eyes glancing up to meet strikingly blue eyes looking at him grumpily.

              And then Toujou’s words register and Tatsumi blinks out of his groggy state. Right, Toujou had already spoken to him about this. As if to make things worse his phone, that he left behind in his bedroom, started playing ‘Nyan Cat’ again and he feels his face flush. “I’m so sorry Toujou-kun. I’ll get that right away.”

              Embarrassed, Tatsumi quickly heads to his bedroom to retrieve his phone and turning off the alarm as soon as he reached the device. The loud alarm at last becomes silent. Tatsumi brings his phone with him when he returns to Toujou, changing the alarm settings to weekdays instead of daily. Showing the phone screen to Toujou as proof. “Alright I finally changed the settings.” Sheepishly he scratches the back of his head as he pockets his phone. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize how loud my alarm is. I guess the other neighbors didn’t say anything because they’re working on weekends too.”

              Upon getting the assurance that there wouldn’t be a repeat of being awoken way too early on a weekend, Toujou relaxes and offers an understanding smile. “It’s ok, I’m thankful for you adjusting to my request.”

              “It’s not a big deal, I’m the one who should’ve been more considerate.” Tatsumi notices the dark bags under Toujou’s eyes and he feels even more guilty. He knows that aside from their work as partners Toujou had been assigned to a five-man team that was responsible for closing up one of their major contracts this month, it seems that his coworker had been working on that with multiple overtime sessions and it was starting to show. And even if Tatsumi was hesitant due to the possibility of a flag, the peace of two months were enough to allow him to be more relaxed on that front, so he extends his offer. “To make it up to you, would you like to join me for lunch later? I’ll be the one cooking so it’s nothing extravagant but it’s chicken tempura and shiitake mushrooms.”

              Toujou silently regards his neighbor with an unreadable expression, and then his expression softens into a smile, the harsh lines of exhaustion becoming less striking. “If it’s not too much of a bother I’d like that Tatsumi-san.”

              “Alright, I’ll see you later at noon then.”

              “I’ll be over by then…and thank you again.”

              Tatsumi thinks Toujou’s eyes sparkled brighter this time around before he left, but the older man shook that thought away. It’s probably his imagination. For now he needs to make a list of the ingredients he needs for the food he was going to cook, he’ll have to buy other ingredients as well for his breakfast. A loud yawn overtakes him, reminding him of his short sleep. Still, he was responsible for being a nuisance to Toujou like that and he did say he was going to make it up to his neighbor. So even though Tatsumi wanted to go back to bed he makes the list, changes into his outdoor clothes, takes his wallet and keys, then proceeds to do a grocery run at 5:30 AM on a Saturday morning. Luckily the vegetable and meat markets were already open by this hour.

              Determined, Tatsumi faces the day with brand-new energy that he hasn’t felt before. Meanwhile, Toujou was already out cold in his own bed, catching up on precious sleep.

[This is what the apartment looks like structurally, except the one in the fic has only three floors with three rooms on each floor.]

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              Buying the required ingredients didn’t take too long, and pretty soon Tatsumi was headed back home, carrying two large bags in each hand. He managed to bring the bags all the way back home, but he can’t lie the trek had him winded and wheezing when he reached his apartment. He might need to sign into a gym or something, his body was showing signs of lacking physical activity and Tatsumi felt it in the way his muscles groaned at the strain from a simple activity. Tatsumi thinks about the possibility of getting a gym membership and the logistics of his budget as well as time management in consideration to his working hours, all the while the capable man prepared the ingredients for each dish that he needed to make.

              It was easy to get lost in thought while Tatsumi started cooking, letting muscle memory do the heavy lifting for him. First, he washed the rice twice, measured the final water level correctly, and then put the pot into the rice cooker with the usual settings. While the rice cooked he then focused on cooking his breakfast first which was teriyaki chicken strips. Since he lived by himself for a long time Tatsumi had learned to cook in order to sustain himself with good meals. He might not have enough time to cook for himself during the weekdays but he sure as hell wanted to eat homecooked meals during the weekends at least. Hence, through necessity Tatsumi had become a good cook and at this level even chicken teriyaki was easy for him to do.

              Within 20 minutes he had breakfast ready and he enjoyed his meal while watching a cute anime adaptation of his favorite manga called “Nyanko and Minyan”. It followed the life of an adorable calico cat called Nyanko as she journeyed through the streets of the Japanese countryside. It was a cute and wholesome slice-of-life genre from a cat’s point of view and Tatsumi looked forward to watching the show every Saturday like this.

              After eating and cleaning up, Tatsumi does chores and much needed laundry until the clock struck 10:30, and only then did he start preparing for lunch. He had cooked enough rice to last until dinner so that wasn’t an issue. The shiitake dish didn’t need that much preparation, but the chicken tempura did, so Tatsumi chose to cook the latter before the former. Tatsumi got lost in the momentum of slicing, peeling, chopping, mixing, and stirring that by the time the two dishes were fully finalized a knock on the door pulled him out of his momentary feeling of accomplishment at finishing his task.

              Tatsumi quickly went to open the front door, his eyes widen slightly at the sight that greets him.

              “Hi Tatsumi-san, I apologize for being a bit late.” Toujou politely greeted, looking a bit out of breath.

              Stunned, Tatsumi’s eyes roam across Toujou’s sweaty form, the younger man was wearing a black tank top that showed off his arm muscles and hugged his upper body in a flattering way, emphasizing his toned chest and abs – he’s certainly filled out since the last time they saw each other years ago - no wait that’s not the point – and he’s wearing loose black joggers, with a towelette around his neck. His flushed countenance, sweaty skin, and flexed muscles point to Toujou recently doing some physical activities.

              He looks like he just had sex-

              Tatsumi mentally slaps himself for the uninvited thought and jerked his eyes away from ogling at the other to gesture into his apartment. “Y-yeah. It’s fine, I just finished cooking lunch so you’re just in time. Come inside.”

              “Thanks.” Toujou entered, closing the door behind him and removing his shoes at the genkan. He shifted the duffle bag to his other shoulder, it looked heavy. “Can I use your bathroom Tatsumi-san? I just came from the gym. I got into my sessions and didn’t notice the time so I rushed to get here without changing since I didn’t want to be late.” He sounded sheepish as he explained which only made Tatsumi smile in amusement.

              “Yeah no problem, it’s the door on the left. And old habits die hard huh Mr. Student Council President? Can’t even let yourself be late even just a little?”

              “Of course not, I won’t keep others waiting by being late. Being on time is respecting other people’s time.”

              At that Tatsumi gives a sly smile. “Uhuh, so since you’re a bit late for our lunch does that mean you don’t respect me?”

              “I respect you…to an extent.” Toujou smirks.

              “Hey!” The older man yells indignantly with faux offense. While Toujou laughs lightheartedly and enters the bathroom.

              “That brat,” Tatsumi snorts, going back to the kitchen to prepare the table and the food, completely disregarding the warm feeling in his chest. The lighthearted banter was nostalgic, that’s probably why.

              By the time Toujou exits the bathroom everything is set up. Tatsumi was sitting at the dining table, playing a cat game when Toujou approaches. Thankfully Toujou was wearing a plain blue shirt now with the same black joggers, using his towel to wipe the remaining water from his face.

              Toujou takes a seat, eyes wide with surprise when he looks at the food. “Wow, you really can cook.”

              “If you continue teasing like that I will not hesitate to kick you out.” Tatsumi warned with a small glare, though it was an empty threat.

              “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. But really, thank you for this. You really didn’t have to…”

              “Just enjoy your blessings as they are given Toujou-kun.” Tatsumi sighed and put his hands together. “Itadakimasu.”

              Toujou follows suit and says the same thing. He watches as Tatsumi starts to dig in before he starts with the chicken tempura, dipping it in the sauce, and eating it with the rice. Tatsumi holds back a smug smile when Toujou visually lights up from the first taste.

              As they eat, Tatsumi silently remembers a specific time when they were younger. Toujou had just become Ayato’s boyfriend and in order to butter him up Tatsumi would give him food whenever they met. This inadvertently lead to a Pavlov response of Toujou feeling hungry whenever he met Tatsumi even if it was randomly out on the street and not at their house. Tatsumi mentally laughs at the memory, that moment he had thought Toujou to be cute. He wonders idly if Toujou still had the same response after all these years. Not that it mattered.

              “It’s really good Tatsumi-san, the chicken tempura goes well with the dipping sauce.” Toujou sips a bit of water before continuing with a bright smile, “You’ve gotta teach me how to cook this someday.”

              Tatsumi really wanted to tease Toujou like the younger did to him earlier, perhaps point out his surprise at the other being able to cook. But instead Tatsumi felt happy at the compliment, learning to cook once he left home had been a bit of a challenge even for someone who was already independent like he was. Toujou’s genuine reaction also softened Tatsumi’s sharp ever-present vigilance. “I’m glad you like it. I seem to recall you bringing handmade goods whenever you went to our house, you always gave Ayato something to take home after you guys hang out as well. Did you make those?”

              Toujou holds back a flinch at the mention of his ex, he tries to cover the near blunder with a genial smile and he tries to steer the topic away from Ayato. “I did. My mother taught me, and I love to bake.”

              “That’s great. So why don’t we trade? I’ll teach you how to cook chicken tempura and you can teach me how to bake one of those treats you always make. How does that sound?”

              Grateful that Tatsumi stayed on topic Toujou nods. “That sounds perfect Tatsumi-san. I’d be more than happy to teach you how to bake.”

              “Ok, we’ll schedule it for next Saturday afternoon, maybe around 2 or 3 pm?”

              “That’s ok with me.”

              “Alright that settles it.”

              Tatsumi smiles, happy with their arrangement. He had been seeing a lot of food related videos recently and some of the ones that caught his attention were cookies made in the shape of a cat. A cat shaped cookie would be a dream come true if he would be able to make one that resembles Miiko.

              Halfway through his food Tatsumi notices that somehow Toujou appeared a bit disconcerted by something. The younger man was eating slower and he had a frown line on his forehead that made him look like he had an upset stomach or in deep thought. It wasn’t his place to butt in, however a meal can’t be enjoyed if the people at the table weren’t comfortable.

              Going out on a limb Tatsumi asks, “Is everything ok?”

              Toujou blinks out of his deep thought, he stares at Tatsumi for an extended amount of time, face showing varying emotions of conflict before Toujou finally caves.

              “I’m sorry for spoiling lunch but I’ve been skirting around an issue and I think it’s time I stop ignoring it.” Toujou’s face is serious.

              Silently Tatsumi feels a chill run up his spine, had he fucked up already? He was sure there weren’t any flags raised between them. Still, he holds his composure and waits for Toujou to continue.

              “About Ayato and I breaking up-“

              Tatsumi feels his body immediately relax, so it wasn’t a flag but rather Toujou’s worrying about the past. He supposes that was a fair reaction, after all Ayato is Tatsumi’s brother and maybe Toujou feels weird about their chance reunion even if he never showed it. Maybe Toujou felt like he needed to talk about it with him, but Tatsumi wasn’t one to judge nor ridicule.

              “Let me explain what happened. It wasn’t my intention to break up and hurt Ayato, I treasure your brother very much but we weren’t-“ Toujou falters, blue eyes dropping from Tatsumi’s perceptive gaze. “I didn’t think we would ever-“

              As the younger man’s words fail him again, Tatsumi felt like he needed to interrupt. “Toujou-kun I don’t hold anything against you because you broke up with my brother. You don’t owe me an explanation. You are both your own people and if you both decided to end the relationship then that’s your prerogative. You broke up for a reason right?”

              Toujou purses his lips and nods.

              “And if you two broke up then it was a decision you both deemed you needed to do for both of you. Ayato himself hasn’t told me any details so you don’t have to worry about that. Whatever happened between you two is a private matter that I’m not privy to, so you don’t need to tell me anything.” After shoving a piece of chicken tempura into his mouth and chewing, in between bites Tatsumi points out, “In the end, both you and I moved away from home due to our own reasons and the main one is starting a new life, right?”

              Toujou nods.

              Tatsumi continues with a voice less lecturing and more understanding, “Then we don’t have to worry about details of the past. You’ve made it this far Toujou-kun, you don’t have to let your past dictate your future anymore.”

              Stunned, Toujou could merely smile and nod, allowing the conversation to naturally end there. They both continue eating their meals with a lighter atmosphere compared to before.

              Touched by Tatsumi’s consideration Toujou starts to wonder if Tatsumi has always been like this, and he realizes that aside from their short interactions before the older man moved out of Tokyo, Toujou hadn’t had a chance to get to know Tatsumi without the label of “Ayato’s boyfriend” looming over him. Right now they were on equal ground and Tatsumi was interacting with him not as his younger brother’s boyfriend but as a neighbor and coworker. And Toujou realizes he likes interacting with Tatsumi now more than before, he can see Tatsumi in a better light without the worry of having to be polite to him because he was Ayato’s brother. In this moment Toujou has the opportunity to interact with the other man as he was and without pretenses. It feels freeing. And at last Toujou doesn’t feel like he has to tip toe around the subject anymore.

-=-=-=-

              With the topic of Ayato and Toujou’s past relationship finally put to rest, Toujou felt more at ease whenever he interacted with Tatsumi. He no longer had to carefully watch his words to gauge if it will trigger a topic about Ayato or not. Like on the Saturday of their schedule cooking and baking lesson. While Toujou patiently taught Tatsumi how to knead the dough and stir the batter a minor story came up. Toujou commented that Ayato also usually made the batter spill due to his impatience by stirring too fast, the blonde caught himself and stuttered after the slip. But then Tatsumi simply smiled and add a comment or two in agreement and kept the conversation going with more silly family stories. By then Toujou would realize even in his moments of slip ups Tatsumi never let him dwell on that, instead the older man is quick acknowledge what has been said and he had no qualms changing topics when needed, or to redirect Toujou’s attention into what they’re currently doing like rolling the dough or cutting out the shapes of the cookies before placing them on a tray to decorate. Toujou notices this whenever it happens and he’s eternally grateful.

              By the time it was nearing dinnertime Toujou had successfully taught Tatsumi some of the basics and they made a small batch of cookies. Toujou had helped Tatsumi with trying to make the cat-shaped cookies he wanted and the results were semi-acceptable cat looking treats. Some had wonky faces and eyes but Tatsumi was elated by the results so that’s all that matters.

              “Hey, take a picture of me with this cookie! It looks the most like Mii-chan and it’s the best cookie from the batch!”

              Toujou wasn’t one who was prone to taking pictures but Tatsumi’s excitement was contagious that Toujou went along with the flow. He takes out his own phone and quickly takes a picture of Tatsumi with the cookie, his flour covered apron and hands looked silly but his beaming smile made Toujou’s lips quirk up, slightly feeling endeared with the image.

              “We can split these cookies between ourselves, but I’m keeping cookie Mii-chan with me.”

              “Sure.” Toujou didn’t stop the chuckle at that. He greatly enjoyed spending time with Tatsumi, and feeling comfortable enough he slightly bumps shoulders with the older man. “Now it’s your turn to teach me how to make chicken tempura.”

              “Oh right! I almost forgot. Come on help me clear out the counters and we can start.”

              “Yes sensei.”

              And for the first time during the entire day Toujou hasn’t thought nor mentioned Ayato at all in the past 2 hours. He counts that as a win.

-=-=-=-

              It’s slow going, days turn to weeks and weeks turn into another month. Yet as more days pass the thoughts of Ayato grow less and less, and Toujou finds that his chest no longer aches when he sees ads about a game or a movie that he knew Ayato liked playing. He no longer thought of Ayato in the context of what he’d be doing today or if the weather was cold would Ayato as usual wear the clashing green sweater with the baggy red pants. Recently Toujou finds that he no longer thinks of ‘what-ifs’ and no thoughts along the lines of ‘in the past it was like this’ pop up during silent moments like they usually would.

              Instead, his days are filled with work, going to the gym, and scheduling cooking and baking lessons with Tatsumi. The older man was quickly improving as a baker and Toujou was also a quick study and he was successfully expanding his cooking abilities to various dishes. With both of them being great teachers and learners simultaneously they had steadily improved together. And so Toujou’s month went on as such.

              And then suddenly things start to reveal themselves.

              During a normal day, Toujou was printing paperwork in the assigned room of the company building when he stops for a moment, pausing as something in his brain clicks into place, and the realization finally strikes him. He is no longer bound by the memories of old and the thoughts of yesteryears, in this moment he was fully present as he is. Everything seems to hit him all at once. Toujou was working in a company that had a healthier environment without jealous coworkers breathing down his neck nor stuck up bosses he had to cater to in order to keep his job. He was living in a town where neighbors weren’t rowdy delinquents nor was his quiet time at home disrupted by the constant noise of beeping horns or screeching tires. He was in a time of his life where he finally feels like himself without the weight of his broken heart weighing him down, blinding him from the things he has around him…and the people who made it possible.

              “Toujou-kun?”

              A familiar monotone voice snaps Toujou out of the surprise in his system and the younger man looks to the source of the voice, he sees the one responsible for starting the change in the first place. Those never changing droopy eyes, fluffy lavender hair, and that laid-back demeanor, the familiarity is comforting and Toujou feels his chest swell with gratitude.

              Toujou smiles wide and bright, and without thinking he pulls Tatsumi into a quick embrace. He lets go and steps back just as quick, and with his whole heart he genuinely bows. “Thank you, Tatsumi-san. I think I finally understand what you meant by not letting my past dictate my future.” Toujou raises from the bow, smile still plastered on his joyful face. “I think I managed to reach that point, and I owe it all to you.”

              It took a bit for Tatsumi to recall the conversation he had with Toujou before, but when he connects the dots he can’t help but chuckle in slight exasperation. “You don’t have to thank me for that Toujou-kun. You did all the work yourself right?” Tatsumi smiles warmly, Toujou’s joy being too infectious. “Congratulations Toujou-kun. And don’t get complacent, this is only the beginning of your new life.”

              Hearing that from a guy like Tatsumi only boosted Toujou’s confidence more, and for one second it looked like Tatsumi had flowers and sparkles blooming around him. But the next moment those things disappear and Toujou manages to come up with a reply in time, “Thank you Tatsumi-san. I’ll be facing this new path with utmost delight.” And he was a hundred percent honest, meaning each word he said.

              Tatsumi grins and pats him on the shoulder like a proud teacher. “That’s the spirit.”

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              Life for Tatsumi was going great for the most part. After Toujou had talked to him at the office and thanked him for something Tatsumi doesn’t think was a huge contribution on his part, the communication between the two of them had grown less formal overall. It wasn’t just because Toujou had eased up his walls around Tatsumi but the older man himself had found it easier to converse with his kohai after they had cleared the air about Ayato and Toujou’s past relationship. It’s not that it bothered Tatsumi in the past but in consideration for the other Tatsumi had also limited speaking up about anything in relation to Ayato. Now he didn’t have to worry about any of that, even if Ayato is brought up the atmosphere would not turn weird and their conversations could easily flow between them. Plus Toujou seems to finally be thriving in life whereas compared to before he looked too ridged like if he breathed wrong something terrible would happen. It’s better seeing Toujou more comfortable and genuinely smiling more instead of that fake front he always uses.

              All in all, Tatsumi was glad that was dealt with because Toujou was performing even better as a work partner, which if they consider Toujou’s already near perfect work performance this was a huge boost. Itsuko had also given them a bonus for the deal they had completed with a big shot client, Toujou had done most of the talking with the client while Tatsumi worked in the background. Most people would’ve given the bonus to the person who worked the hardest but Tatsumi was an opportunist at heart so he took the equal split with Toujou. It’s not like his kohai was lacking money anyway plus they were partners after all, so why not? Tatsumi thinks Toujou would’ve felt more offended if Tatsumi had offered to take a smaller portion than him anyway, he’ll take his victories where he can.

              And on the topic of coworking, the two of them had to reschedule their mutual cooking and baking lessons to once a month because doing it every Saturday for the past month had already proved to be a challenge with conflicts in scheduling, especially when both of them had their own chores and hobbies to deal with. Reducing it to once a month gave them ample time to fix their schedules and free up a Saturday for it. Tatsumi was planning on teaching Toujou how to make udon next and Toujou had suggested that Tatsumi should try learning how to make a parfait next. As long as Tatsumi was able to make a cat dessert he was on board with whatever lesson Toujou wanted to teach.

              But enough about cooking and baking. This Saturday Tatsumi needed to go do a grocery run as well as restock on toiletries and detergent. Tatsumi really needed to not make it a habit to only buy stuff when a majority of his necessities had nearly run out. Because right now he was carrying four bags full of the stuff he needed, and each bag felt like they weighed five kilograms. With two bags in each hand it was a workout to carry all those back to the apartment, not to mention he lived on the third floor so that meant he would not only carry this up a small hill but also up the stairs. Tatsumi was dreading the thought and he was only halfway back but his arms already felt like jelly. It’s not like he could take a cab either, well he could, but that costs money and he figured the supermarket was close enough for walking distance that taking a cab would be a waste of his hard-earned cash.

              He was beginning to regret his decision on walking back home when he felt the sweat from his skin seep into his shirt, and even though he wore light clothes and the sunlight wasn’t that strong it still felt like he was boiling in a heat wave. Tatsumi had reached the start of the swell of the hill when he coincidentally ran into Toujou who appears to have just finished his gym session carrying his usual duffel bag and wearing his gym attire.

              “Oh Tatsumi-san, good morning.” Toujou greeted him with ease, no longer stiff nor overly formal.

              “Morning.” Tatsumi gave Toujou a quick once over and contemplated his next words. Back when Toujou was still dating Ayato, Tatsumi had taken advantage of the status of being an older brother to someone’s partner in order to ask Toujou for favors which the younger man didn’t seem inclined to deny. But now they were only neighbors and coworkers so Tatsumi felt hesitant to ask for a favor.

              Fortunately, the decision was made for him.

              “It looks like you have quite the handful today. Do want me to carry half?” Toujou, the ever kind gentleman offered with that charming smile.

              Tatsumi would be a fool to decline. “Yes that would be helpful Toujou-kun.”

              The way Toujou carried the two biggest bags without grunting with effort had Tatsumi pausing in slight jealousy. But the moment the weight he had to carry lightened Tatsumi could nearly sob with the relief he felt.

              “Thank you Toujou-kun.” The genuine relief in Tatsumi’s tone made Toujou’s lips curl up in amusement.

              “It’s not a big deal Tatsumi-san but why did you buy so many things?”

              “It’s grocery day and I ran out of toiletries and other necessities.” Tatsumi did a one shoulder shrug.

              “So you thought buying them all at once would be convenient?” The teasing in his voice was just under the surface enough to escape the other’s detection.

              “It is more convenient.” Tatsumi sighed. “And more physically taxing. But I already bought these, it’s not like I could leave them at the market and do two trips back and forth.”

              Tatsumi wrinkles his nose at the effort it took to continue holding on to the two bags he has while Toujou looked at ease with the bigger bags he carried plus his duffel bag slung across his shoulder. “How is it so easy for you to carry all that and not break a sweat?”

              Toujou shrugs. “The weights I use at the gym are heavier than this.”

              “Show off.” Tatsumi rolls his eyes lightheartedly.

              The blonde only grins. “Why don’t you try going to the gym? Exercising is important to keep oneself healthy. Plus muscle loss during adulthood is a serious concern right?”

              Tatsumi had been thinking about going to the gym before. He never went because he was either too concerned about flags, too lazy, too tired, or he didn’t know where to start with all the machines. And again he was worried about raising a flag if he ever went to the gym alone and got approached by another man because he was using the equipment wrong. There were plenty of instances where a flag could be raised, that alone had discouraged Tatsumi from going.

              Still, Toujou was right and Tatsumi has been noticing how out of shape he has been. Not to mention he drinks quite frequently especially with the after-work parties that their company regularly holds. He’s already 25 and yet sometimes his knees creak and his back aches. Sometimes he wakes up in the morning sore because he slept wrong.

              Yeah, he definitely needed to start getting into shape. Even his mom’s scolding words about proper nutrition and exercise resounded in his mind.

              “The gym I go to is pretty nice with good equipment and facilities. They also have shower stalls, so you can bring a change of clothes there. I could help you familiarize with your sets and teach you how to operate the equipment too.”

              Tatsumi narrowed his eyes at Toujou’s cajoling, suspicion clear. “Why are you being so insistent?”

              Instead of feeling chastised Toujou chuckles, “Ah you found me out. I’m actually looking for a gym buddy. Some exercises like weightlifting would be better with a spotter, someone who checks your form and who also ensures your safety while doing the exercises.”

              Ok that made sense.

              Tatsumi asks, “There’s a lot of people at gyms, why don’t you ask one of them to spot for you?”

              Toujou’s smile turns into a grimace. “I’ve tried. I don’t know what the issue is but each time I had a spotter they either started acting weird or their partner comes and starts picking a fight with me.”

              Tatsumi wants to do a facepalm. Of course, how could he forget that Toujou had main character syndrome? It didn’t matter how many years the other man aged, Toujou was the prime specimen for a main character storyline for a BL world. It wasn’t surprising that many people were attracted to Toujou and that wherever he went there seemed to be a line of people vying for his attention. Regardless, was Tatsumi willing to be pulled within Toujou’s spotlight if he agrees to go to the gym with him?

              It wasn’t an answer that Tatsumi could readily give. But he did need to do something about his health and with Toujou willingly offering his help it would be easier to learn gym stuff with him around, he has been teaching Tatsumi for the past month after all. Tatsumi knows Toujou is a capable teacher based on firsthand experience. It’s Tatsumi’s hang ups about raising flags that is ultimately holding him back. However, with their destination growing closer and with Toujou awaiting his answer Tatsumi sighs. It’s not like going once will be the end of him.

              “Fine. I’ll give it a try.”

              “I promise I’ll do my best to help you, Tatsumi-san.”

              Somehow Toujou’s smile grew even brighter, the imaginary flowers around him bloomed prettier, and he glowed like the sun. Tatsumi looked away before the light could blind him. How the hell had Ayato dealt with such a radiant beam? Tatsumi had half a mind to go out later to buy sunglasses just to wear them whenever Toujou was around.

-=-=-=-

              Through some planning and constant communication through text – which they already had each other’s numbers due to their work partnership – the gym session had been scheduled on a Saturday two weeks after the day Tatsumi had agreed. Toujou informed Tatsumi about the basic stuff he needed to bring: a small towel, a water bottle, a change of clothes, and energy drinks if he needed them. Tatsumi brought everything Toujou suggested but his gym clothes were his own, he was too lazy to go buy new ones and if he didn’t feel like going to the gym after this then buying the clothes would’ve been a complete waste. Instead, Tatsumi wore a plain blue shirt with his usual Hawaiian print motif and black jogging pants.

              Toujou went to the gym at around 9 or 10 am depending on his mood, they chose to go at the latter time in order for Tatsumi to fully digest his breakfast. And so at the meeting time Toujou knocked on Tatsumi’s door to pick him up to go to the gym together.

              It turns out the gym wasn’t too far away from their own apartment building, it was probably around three to four city blocks away. It makes sense that Tatsumi had found Toujou walking home that day when the purple haired man bought his groceries.

              “Well, here we are.” Toujou gestured to a nondescript building that had a restaurant on the first floor, commercial spaces on the second, and finally the gym on the third floor. The building had a total of 8 floors and an elevator but with the gym being on the third floor and Tatsumi having a penchant for avoiding elevators due to possible flag scenarios they both took the stairs.

              The gym itself took the entire third floor of the building with the showers and toilets station on the adjacent rooms, separated for men and women. The over all design of the room carried a traditional Japanese style with the wooden floor and walls, they had full floor to ceiling windows facing the scenery of the nearby river and grassy area which allowed natural light to enter the room. All kinds of gym equipment that Tatsumi was familiar and not familiar with were organized neatly throughout the space making the area not too crowded and with enough room to walk around without bumping into other people. Overall Tatsumi kind of liked the atmosphere of the area.

              Toujou dealt with the registration and when Tatsumi tried to protest the younger man didn’t let him get his way, quickly paying for Tatsumi’s first gym session.

              “I invited you, at least let me treat you on your first try at this gym.” Toujou explained smoothly.

              Not one to argue with free stuff Tatsumi relented. “Alright. Thanks Toujou-kun.”

              Since today was a weekend there were plenty of people around, an even mix of men and women, but even with the amount of people present there were still free equipment and machines for others to use. Toujou showed Tatsumi the locker area and since Toujou was a member he had his own locker with a personal lock.

              “You can add your stuff with mine. The other lockers are free to use but they don’t have a lock.” Toujou offered without missing a beat.

              Not thinking too much of it Tatsumi took out his towel and water bottle before putting his bag beside Toujou’s. After Toujou got his own stuff and locked the locker door he leads the other to the equipment and goes through a short rundown for each machine, what muscle groups they affected and which areas to focus on while you’re using them. Tatsumi was paying attention but he also couldn’t completely ignore the stares Toujou was getting from the various occupants of the gym.

              True to Tatsumi’s suspicions Toujou does get a ton of attention wherever he goes, and the gym isn’t any different. The amount of people of all genders who were watching the young man were too numerous to count. Some of them were even sending unsubtle glances and displeased expressions towards Tatsumi. Usually Tatsumi wouldn’t put himself near someone like Toujou in order to avoid raising or encouraging any flags from anyone drawn to the light. But this is Toujou we’re talking about, it’s not like Tatsumi was completely unaware of the risks when he accepted the invite and Tatsumi had already agreed to give the gym a try.

              Leaning into his lackadaisical nature, Tatsumi feigns ignorance towards the onlookers and he focuses on Toujou as the other man began teaching. Tatsumi didn’t point out the staring to Toujou either because it wasn’t his business if Toujou remained oblivious to the multitudes who are desperate for the blonde’s attention. For all intents and purposes Tatsumi was here for his own goals and physical improvement. He wasn’t going to let the world’s BL trope obsession rob him of the benefits he is aiming for. Also he is already sacrificing one of his precious weekends for this, he has to make it worth it.

              “Ok, that’s the general equipment that I use. Since you’re a beginner let’s focus on simpler exercises that will target your arms, abs, and legs for now. We’ll start there and add on to specific focus groups once you get the hang of those exercises.” Toujou expertly points out in his serious tone, the same one he used when he was teaching Tatsumi how to bake. “First let’s do ten minutes of warm ups and then we can start with the exercises after.”

              To his credit Toujou was taking this seriously which Tatsumi hadn’t expected, in light of this Tatsumi was encouraged to do his best in kind. They go through the warm ups quite easily, although Tatsumi could already sense his breaths quickening as his sedentary body was being put to work which it wasn’t used to. After they thoroughly warmed up Toujou showed Tatsumi the six equipment he’d be using, most of which Tatsumi couldn’t retain their exact names but he assigned them his own nicknames which made sense in his mind. There were two machines for each of the target areas like Toujou had stated, two for the abs, two for the legs, and two for the arms.

              The last one wasn’t a machine exactly, but it was composed of two large thick ropes tied to anchor points on a pole installed into the wall. Toujou called it the ‘battle rope’ while Tatsumi named it ‘big giant ropes’ in his mind.

              “We’ll start with the simplest one. I’ll demonstrate.”

              While Toujou was showing Tatsumi the way to use the equipment the younger man had been keeping an eye on their surroundings. Usually during his sets Toujou would get approached by random people for one reason or another. He was always polite to turn them away or only briefly answer questions if the person genuinely needed help with any gym equipment. But even someone like him would lose patience when his free time that was meant to be spent on concentrating on his sets were spent entertaining bumbling and fumbling strangers. He tried many ways to deter others from interfering with him during his exercises like putting on earphones, quickly dismissing useless questions, and not entertaining anyone who tried to ask for his name. But there were still too many people who thought they could simply continue to bother him in the middle of his gym activities. Toujou was at his wits end. Although ever since he came to the gym this morning with Tatsumi no one had approached them and if Toujou could he would physically heave a big sigh of relief. He really liked this gym because of how close it was to his apartment and how clean the facilities were. It would’ve been a waste to move to another gym just because people didn’t mind their own business and kept pestering him. Asking Tatsumi to come to the gym with him was a spontaneous decision Toujou made but he couldn’t be gladder that he went for it. Now the next matter he should think about is how to make Tatsumi want to come back to this gym with him.

              “Toujou-kun am I doing this right?”

              Tatsumi’s question brought Toujou back to the present and the younger man did a quick observation at what Tatsumi was doing. That was a slight mistake. Toujou sucked in a quick breath and held it, trying to stifle the laughter that threatened to burst from his mouth. He couldn’t help it, he had already physically demonstrated the correct way to use the battle ropes but the way Tatsumi was doing the exercise was different. The older man’s posture was slumped forward, he held the ropes limply in his hands, and his knees were bending inwards even as he did a half squat.

              “Tatsumi-san that’s-“ Toujou had to bite his tongue. Even back when they were younger Tatsumi has always done or said things that Toujou thought was cute, this instance wasn’t any different and Toujou couldn’t stop the fond smile he wore. Still, he pulled himself together and faked a cough to reset his voice. “That’s not exactly how you do it. May I help?”

              Tatsumi nodded.

              The purple haired man was about to let go of the ropes but Toujou stops him. “No, stay where you are. Let me correct your posture so you can get a feel of the exercise.”

              Smoothly Toujou adjusts Tatsumi’s rigid form, placing a flat hand on the older man’s back, and putting light pressure in a pushing motion. He doesn’t notice Tatsumi slightly tensing underneath him.

              “Straighten your back. Don’t let it curl up like this, this won’t allow you to effectively do the exercise and it will put strain onto different areas that aren’t supposed to be stressed. Hold the ropes firmly. And also don’t bend your knees inwards, keep your feet apart and concentrate. Your thighs should be the muscle group that supports your weight, you’ll feel the burn there if you’re doing proper posture.”

              Toujou didn’t move his hand until Tatsumi followed his instructions. As soon as the older man adjusts according to Toujou’s guidance that’s the only time Toujou retracts his hand.

              Tatsumi ignores the warm feeling left on his back when Toujou’s hand leaves his skin, slight tingling sensations where they were briefly in contact. Instead he focuses on his posture. “Like this?”

              “Good. Now move the ropes like how I did earlier. Don’t use too much force, just enough to keep the momentum.”

Once Toujou entered his teaching zone he was a stern teacher, Tatsumi knew this well from the baking lessons but in the gym Toujou was another kind of beast. Tatsumi felt his legs shaking from the strain of the position and his arms felt just as flimsy as noodles. The exercise looked simple enough but with the proper way of doing it and deliberate movements this truly targeted the intended muscle groups. And Tatsumi was feeling the burn alright.

              “Alright last 10 seconds.” Toujou stated, glancing between his watch and Tatsumi. The younger man starts counting down.

              The last ten seconds seemed to stretch on forever for Tatsumi but as soon as Toujou reached “one” Tatsumi let go of the ropes and collapsed to the floor. He didn’t worry about the gym floor being covered in germs or whatnot, Tatsumi was too tired to even think of that while his muscles burned and he tried to catch his breath. Something nudges at his cheek and Tatsumi opens his eyes to see Toujou looking at him with a bright smile.

              “Good work Tatsumi-san, but the bench would be more comfortable to rest on. Come on.” Toujou takes Tatsumi’s noodlelike arm and placed it over his shoulders, pulling the other to his feet, and supporting the older man to the bench.

              When Toujou is sure that Tatsumi was comfortable he handed Tatsumi the water bottle and placed the towel over his head. Toujou then got ready to use the battle ropes himself. “Rest while I finish my set and then we can move on to your cardio.”

              Tatsumi only nodded, not trusting his voice to sound steady as he was still breathing quick. He hadn’t expected his first gym session to already be this intense, but even if he felt like he climbed a mountain Tatsumi can’t complain. Toujou was really great at pointing out which parts Tatsumi had to focus on and was a good teacher, Tatsumi was actually learning a lot just by doing the exercise himself. Silently he wonders if he can keep this up and turn it into a weekly thing if he has Toujou to help him through it.

              And wasn’t that a bizarre thought.

-=-=-=-

              Toujou had caught himself staring at Tatsumi way too much during the session but he reasoned that it was strictly for teaching matters. He was merely observing if Tatsumi was doing the exercises correctly and he definitely wasn’t staring at the way sweat dripped almost seductively down a bare nape, collecting at the collar of the printed shirt, nor was he noticing the older man’s furrowed brows and flushed countenance as the exercises continued. He definitely wasn’t.

              Or at least that’s what Toujou convinced himself with.

              He also convinced himself that he didn’t feel sparks whenever he had to make contact with Tatsumi in order to correct his positions, Toujou hands brushing over warm skin here and there. And that it was normal to feel nervous or overly conscious of the other as he did so.

              However, since Tatsumi was doing his best Toujou didn’t allow any of these confusing feelings to distract him from what he was supposed to do. And that was to teach Tatsumi while keeping the other safe during the exercises. After all Tatsumi had been the one to teach him the ropes around the company when Toujou had started, he had done an excellent job as well. Toujou wanted to do the same for Tatsumi in an area where the younger man was more knowledgeable in. Toujou gathered his self-control and put on his energy into being the best gym instructor he could be.

              And when Tatsumi gives him a big grin after completing a set entirely without correction Toujou pretends he doesn’t feel his chest flutter with a familiar emotion. He smiles and gives Tatsumi a thumbs up.

-=-=-=-

              No.

              Nope.

              Never again.

              Tatsumi was cursing his past self for ever agreeing to try a gym session. The different exercises, sets, plus repetitions in total didn’t exceed an hour and yet Tatsumi feels dead to the world. His arms ache, his legs feel like heavy lead, and he was sweating like crazy. Working out wasn’t easy but with how much Toujou seemed keen on pushing his limits Tatsumi felt wrung out of energy. He could barely keep upright as Toujou walked him through their last set of cooldown exercises.

              “You’re a demon Toujou-kun.” Tatsumi grumbled beneath his breath as the younger man declared they were done for the day.

              “You did pretty well keeping up with the exercises Tatsumi-san. You have a good baseline for someone who hasn’t done much exercising.” Toujou complimented while he used his towel to wipe away the sweat, the droplets sparkling under the sunlight filtering through the windows, making his hair and eyes appear ethereal with the glow.

              Tatsumi looked down at himself and frowned.

              Even with the simple action of wiping away sweat Toujou looked cool and elegant, meanwhile Tatsumi felt like a wet cat recently pulled out of a puddle. Tatsumi took a huge gulp from his water bottle, polishing off the last of the liquid before replying, “What do you mean by baseline?”

              “Your baselines are the number of sets, repetitions, and minutes you’ve spent on each machine. For each session we’ll be using those as your target numbers, meaning for every exercise you’ll be doing the same extent we’ve done today. We’ll keep you at that pace for a month and then up those numbers next month to help you acclimate.”

              The words Toujou were saying were dumbed down to layman terms but it took Tatsumi a while to digest the information. Once he does get it though his face pales further. “You mean next time it will be as grueling as today??”

              Toujou finishes his own water before looking at Tatsumi thoughtfully. “We can change it up to focus on separate areas for each session. But since you’ll only go to the gym once a week a whole-body workout would be optimal.”

              Tatsumi was already heading to the lockers before Toujou reached the last word. But the younger man chased after him with a placating tone. “Come on Tatsumi-san. Today wasn’t too bad right? It’s the first time your body’s been exposed to the workout routine. Once you get the hang of things and be consistent with it you’ll see good results.”

              Tatsumi stopped in front of Toujou’s locker and fixes his kohai with a curious stare. “Why are you talking like I’ve already made my mind?”

              “Because you look like you’ve already made your mind. And you’ve been frowning since we finished the cooldown exercises. You haven’t told me how you felt about this either.”

              For the first time Tatsumi witnesses Toujou fretting over something so simple like Tatsumi enjoying the gym or not enjoying it for that matter. He’s too late to stop the fond chuckle that leaves his lips. “I haven’t decided yet if I want to continue with the gym sessions or not Toujou-kun. I was just ready to change out of my sweaty clothes and into something more comfortable.”

              “Ah right.” Toujou fishes the key from his pocket and opens the locker. “So you’ll be thinking it over?”

              Those sparkling blue eyes looked so hopeful that Tatsumi ends up nodding. “Give me a week to think about it. And thanks for guiding me through everything, you’ve been extremely helpful Toujou-kun.”

              And Tatsumi wasn’t saying this for lip service either he was being honest. Toujou had been a huge help throughout the entire session, and even if he was stern he wasn’t cruel. He was observant enough to notice when Tatsumi truly couldn’t go further and he took Tatsumi’s requests to stop seriously. Toujou only pushed Tatsumi to the level that he recognized the older man could handle, and Toujou made sure Tatsumi didn’t injure nor overexert himself during sets either. Tatsumi appreciated the effort Toujou had put into teaching him the things he needed to know and he was grateful for the other’s presence.

              Toujou was elated at the other’s response. “It was an honor to help, Tatsumi-san.”

              And despite Toujou’s glee at finally not being interrupted during a gym session he quite enjoyed spending that time with Tatsumi. This was Toujou’s first time doing workouts with someone and he realized that it was so much fun, he liked helping Tatsumi learn the ropes around the equipment and he didn’t mind it when Tatsumi complained about the harder exercises because the older man did it anyway in his own weird stubbornness. Just spending time together and sharing a hobby he enjoyed with another person was exciting or maybe it was fun because he was doing it with Tatsumi? Whichever reason it was there was no denying that Toujou enjoyed it and he was looking forward to another gym session with Tatsumi in tow.

              Hopefully the older man would agree.

-=-=-=-

              After they both freshen up Toujou leads Tatsumi to the restaurant on the first floor, aside from the modern outside appearance the restaurant looked like a regular izakaya inside. Toujou explained that the food in this restaurant was unique because the food on the menu each had their caloric levels written. Each meal had a balance of the nutritional needs that a person needs for each serving. It was genuinely a good marketing strategy to make a restaurant like this right under a gym. Plenty of people from the gym come down to eat here.

              Toujou ordered for both of them and to make things even Tatsumi paid for their meals.

              “Because you paid for my registration.” Tatsumi quickly explained when Toujou was rearing to rebut.

              In the end Toujou smiles in amusement and thanks the older man. “You’ll let me know once you come to a decision right Tatsumi-san?”

              “Yeah, yeah. I will. Stop worrying about it.”

              “It’s just that today’s session was fun with you around.” Toujou didn’t even look embarrassed at saying such things out loud.

              But Tatsumi couldn’t lie. “Despite you being a demon of a gym instructor, I had fun too.”

-=-=-=-

              After having enough time to deliberate on the pros and cons Tatsumi was only convinced to continue going to the gym when he noticed that his body felt more comfortable with climbing stairs and carrying heavy bags. If his body continued improving like this Tatsumi can already envision himself having a healthier future ahead, surely that was worth more than his constant worry about raising flags.

              Making up his mind, that Friday Tatsumi sent a message to Toujou, stating that he’d only agree to go to the gym again if they moved their culinary lessons to Sunday afternoon instead of Saturday afternoons. He didn’t want to be too exhausted for those lessons after all, he quite enjoyed cooking and baking together, it would suck if he had to do it right after coming from the gym.

              Toujou readily agreed and with that they created another activity that both of them would be doing together.

              With friendship steadily growing bit by bit, the future looks bright for these two bachelors.

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              With the two men having their scheduled gym sessions, their once a month Sunday culinary lessons, plus their work partnership, Toujou and Tatsumi ended up spending a lot of time together. They do all of the activities they agreed to do with impeccable consistency on both sides. With their time spent in their dedicated commitments they both see results through their efforts. Tatsumi slowly improved at baking. Toujou easily learned new recipes in cooking and he’s now experimenting with more complex recipes he finds online in which he asks Tatsumi to help him with. Toujou oversees Tatsumi’s gym progress and is glad to see that his friend is slowly acclimating to the workout routine they had set for him. Meanwhile Tatsumi is learning how to be a spotter and a gym buddy for Toujou as they go to the gym sessions together.

              They bicker, tell stories, improve together, and little by little they get to know more about each other. Tatsumi observes how Toujou doesn’t like sour and bitter food. And Toujou silently notices how Tatsumi loves strawberries in any dessert. Or how Toujou would be an absolute grump in the mornings before his coffee, even if he slept early the night before. Meanwhile Tatsumi stayed up late at night whether it was a weekday or a weekend, he was either reading something or watching ‘Nyanko and Minyan’ reruns way past midnight. This also explains why it’s so hard to wake him up in the mornings. All in all, they were starting to have a friendship that didn’t rely on any of their pasts and instead focused on getting to know each other as they are now as working adults.

              Everything was going well for around a month. That is until the day Tatsumi doesn’t show up for work. Toujou is also surprised because Tatsumi was not one to be late, sure he’d sometimes appear right on the dot exactly at 8 AM but he was never late. And although they did spend a lot of time together they don’t go to work together from their apartments because it didn’t seem necessary. Toujou liked getting out of the apartment early while Tatsumi took his time before leaving for work. Still the older man’s unusual tardiness began to worry Toujou and as soon as the clock passed the twenty-minute mark he took it upon himself to contact his friend.

[8:21 AM Monday]

[Hello Tatsumi-san is everything alright?]

[I noticed that you aren’t at work today…]

              Five minutes passed without a reply and Toujou’s worries win over his sense of propriety. He calls Tatsumi immediately. The phone rang four times before someone picked up.

              “Hello?”

              It was Tatsumi, but his voice sounded groggy and stuffy, which could only mean-

              “Good morning, Tatsumi-san are you sick?”

              There’s a mixture of sounds, a muffled cough, a sneeze, and then a sniffle before Tatsumi’s voice comes back on line.

              “It looks like it. Unfortunately I won’t be able to go to work today so you’re going to have to work on the project by yourself for now Toujou-kun. I’ll try to catch up when I get back.” Tatsumi struggled to form all the words, his throat was dry and scratchy from all the coughing.

              Toujou couldn’t believe what he was hearing, even while Tatsumi was sick the older man still found it in himself to worry about someone else. Toujou didn’t know if he should be thankful, exasperated, or amused. In the end he felt all three emotions simultaneously along with a growing warmth.

              “Don’t worry about that, I can manage. You should be focusing on getting better instead Tatsumi-san.” Toujou was being reassuring, not wanting to add stress to someone who was already dealing with an ailment.

              There’s a series of harsh coughs echoing from the background, clearly Tatsumi was trying to cough away from the mic but some still make it through, and the painful sounds make Toujou visibly grimace before Tatsumi replies shakily. “A-alright. Thanks, Toujou-kun.”

              The call promptly ends, perhaps Tatsumi was enduring another fit of coughing and Toujou feels like he should be doing something rather than stay here in the office and work all day. He felt antsy.

              Itsuko notices him from across the room as she was doing her morning rounds and notices the lack of his usual pleasant expression. “Toujou-kun is everything alright?”

              Toujou meets the boss’ eyes with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, he briefly wonders what he should say. He couldn’t ignore how ill Tatsumi sounded.

              “Good morning Itsuko-san, I was just on the phone with Tatsumi-san and he has informed me he’s fallen in and he can’t come to work today.” Toujou decided to at least inform her of Tatsumi’s whereabouts.

              Surprisingly to the younger man Itsuko immediately looked worried. “My that’s a surprise. This is the first time Tatsumi has ever been sick enough to miss work.”

              And that makes Toujou’s eyes widen. He was told that Tatsumi had been working for 4 years in this company and if this is the first time he’s missed work because of a sickness then it might be more serious than Toujou thought.

              “I’ll schedule today and the coming days as his paid leave. He’s never filed for his vacations before either, at least he can use some of his paid sick leaves for this.” Itsuko shakes her head in exasperation. “You know for someone who isn’t a workaholic like most people, Tatsumi is quite committed to not missing work days enough to not go on vacation.” Under her breath but loud enough for Toujou to hear she mumbles, “I wonder why that is…”

              Itsuko quickly snaps out of her reverie and claps her hands together. “Alright. Thanks for telling me Toujou-kun. I’ll go write those up immediately.”

              Toujou’s mouth moved faster than his brain. “Itsuko-san may I also have at least two days off? I’m fine if they aren’t paid.”

              The older woman tilts her head to the side with a curious look in her eyes before that morphs into a sly expression. “I see~ Well you are caught up with your current projects and with your most recent work accomplishment with Tatsumi. Successfully pulling in one of our biggest clients, once more great work on that. I think you also deserve a break.”

              Toujou was too relieved to notice the mischievous glint in his employer’s eyes. “Thank you, Itsuko-san.”

              “Oh and they’ll be paid so you don’t have to worry about that. Now go on~” Itsuko waves him off as she walks away, a knowing smile plastered on her face as she returns to her office.

              Taking the golden opportunity Toujou quickly packs his things and leaves the office, heading to the market to buy several things he had in mind.

-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi was not having a good time. He woke up this morning with a headache, heavy limbs, and a high fever. He managed to get some water and did a quick trip to the bathroom, but he barely had any energy to do much of anything else except go back to bed and sleep. But even sleep had been fitful with the coughing that wracked his whole body. His vision goes back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness. He vaguely remembers having a phone call with someone, but his memory is blurry and he can’t be sure if he dreamed about that or not.

              He’s sick, hungry, bedridden, and alone. It’s the first time he’s gotten this sick after he moved out and he feels like utter shit. Silently he bemoans the moments he had taken his health for granted. He’s realizing how hard it is to live alone while incapacitated by an illness. Back at home he could rely on his family, he remembers how his mom would cook meals for him to eat, his dad would bring home something like snacks when he arrived from work, and even his usually snippy brother would go buy medicine for him. However, since he’s living alone he only had himself to rely on. And if he can’t even get up from the bed to cook something to eat or even go out to get medicine how would he get better?

              A wave of dizziness overtakes Tatsumi and he sighs, closing his eyes to will away the swirling vision, feeling a familiar growing pit in his chest. Like this he feels the creeping tendrils of his barely acknowledged loneliness make itself known, wrapping around his heart and strangling it with the reminder that he had no one. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to find someone when he moved to Beppu. He did try. But after two failed relationships with his ex-girlfriends Tatsumi hadn’t tried again. They were pretty and their attitudes weren’t terrible, but true to the world’s BL tropes his exes were too much of a cookie-cutter image of the women he read in BL manga. Sometimes Tatsumi even started doubting if they had their own opinions that weren’t worrisome cut and paste dialogues from some manga. He tried very hard to look past the glaring mob characteristics since that’s what he’s been aiming to reach for his whole life, to be a mob character in the background, but once you’ve gotten through every option of an NPC’s dialogue the topics begin to repeat themselves in a senseless loop. And Tatsumi finds that a partner who has little to no personality didn’t make discussions nor dates enjoyable anymore. There was only so much mediocrity and dry conversations he could take, so Tatsumi did the hard decision and broke up with them but even then his exes simply wished him well and hoped that he’d find “the one” in the future.

              He tries not to laugh at the bitter reality of all his decisions that brought him to this moment, living alone, still single, and far away from his family and even his precious Miiko. To think that he did all that just to avoid a flag that was raised between him and that boy…. sometimes it feels like the price he paid to escape had been too much, and this is one of those times.

              The yawning maw of loneliness threatens to swallow him whole into its murky depths, demeaning words reverberating through his aching head. How stupid he is, how undesirable, how unwanted… Tatsumi forces his aching body to sit up from the bed, trying to escape the negative thoughts ping-ponging inside his head.

              “Fuck.”

             It hasn’t gotten this bad since the first year when he had moved away. He thought he had overcome this looming sense of isolation and he did. For a while he didn’t feel lonely when he poured himself into his work, filling his days with nothing but the tasks he needed to accomplish. And if he wasn’t preoccupied with work he busied himself with tactics and plans about avoiding flags. But even those were getting painstaking, tiresome, and boring in the slowly developing monotony of his life. Four years of the same routine, and more than eight years of dodging flags. Was this it? Is this how his life was going to be for the rest of his remaining time?

              How boring…

              How pitiful…

              How…sad…

              Tatsumi tries to convince himself that the wetness in his eyes is simply because of the fever, but deep inside he knows better. Before Tatsumi’s thoughts could spiral further into darker depths he hears knocking on the front door. And though his body feels too heavy to move he forces himself to his feet, entertaining the distraction right now would be better than wallowing in those dark thoughts. With each step towards the front door Tatsumi feels his energy drain quick, he feels his limbs slightly shake but he ignores it and pushes forth. He managed to get to the door and he opens it, eyes slightly widening when he sees a familiar face.

              “Toujou-kun?” Tatsumi tries to focus but his vision swims, the edges darkening.

              “Tatsumi-san I brought- woah!” Toujou shouts.

              The older man had fainted and Toujou caught him just in time. When it was clear that Tatsumi wasn’t waking up any time soon Toujou maneuvered himself so he could close and lock the door while he had groceries and Tatsumi in his hands. He carefully places the plastic bags of items he bought by the genkan while he balances his hold on Tatsumi with his other hand. Once the plastic bags are out of the way, Toujou gently scoops Tatsumi into his arms, making sure the older man’s head doesn’t loll to the side and is instead supported by his chest. Toujou is a little surprised at how easy it was for him to carry the other man.

              Being familiar with the apartment’s layout, due to them switching up whose apartments they cook and bake at, Toujou easily finds Tatsumi’s bedroom. He places Tatsumi onto the bed as gently as he could and then made sure to check the other’s vitals. With Tatsumi’s heartrate and breathing being normal Toujou calmed himself down from his internal panic and went to look for a thermometer to check the other’s temperature. He finds one in the drawer inside the bathroom beside the mirror.

              Toujou returns to Tatsumi’s side and quickly says, “Excuse me.” And he pulls up Tatsumi’s shirt so he could place the thermometer in the older man’s armpit. Toujou lets the device do its thing while he goes and collects the groceries from the genkan, bringing them into the kitchen.

              Beeping resounds through the quiet apartment just as Toujou placed the bags on the counter and he returns to Tatsumi, removing the thermometer. The numbers read 37.8 degrees Celsius, it’s definitely a fever and if it went any higher Toujou will have to decide if he should bring the other to the hospital or not. It’s worrying enough that Tatsumi was sick but to the extent of fainting was not a good sign. Although that could also mean that Tatsumi hasn’t had anything to drink or eat yet. Toujou checks his watch and it’s already past 10 AM. Not aware if Tatsumi even had dinner last night, Toujou needs to make sure that he can get some food ready for Tatsumi to eat soon.

              Toujou finds a small towel from Tatsumi’s closet drawer and goes to wet that at the sink, he wrings it from most of the water, folds it into a neat rectangle, and places that over Tatsumi’s forehead to help cool him down. He makes sure Tatsumi doesn’t over heat but won’t feel too cold by putting a blanket over the sleeping man only up to his waist. As soon as Toujou’s sure that Tatsumi is comfortable he makes his way to the kitchen and starts making something that Tatsumi had taught him, chicken noodle soup. It’s said that this was a good remedy for people who are sick. He’d only made it once with Tatsumi’s help but he still has the instructions Tatsumi sent him saved in his phone. And with the help of video tutorials Toujou’s confident he can make a passable one.

-=-=-=-

              The next time Tatsumi opens his eyes he’s back in his bedroom which leaves him confused. He thinks he saw Toujou earlier, but could that have been a fever dream? Tatsumi feels unbearably hot and uncomfortable so he shifts and tries to reposition to lie down on his side. With the sudden movement something wet peels away from his forehead as he does this, landing on his pillow. It was a wet towel. Confused, Tatsumi stares at the clothe for a good second before picking it up, wondering where it had come from. Then his bedroom door creaks open and makes him flinch into a sitting position which made the feeling of disorientation return.

              “Ah Tatsumi-san, you’re already awake. How do you feel?” Toujou entered the room holding a tray with a steaming bowl of something on it.

              “Toujou-kun? How did you-“ Tatsumi gets interrupted by a fit of coughs and Toujou is quick to set aside the tray in order to pat Tatsumi’s back. He takes the towel from Tatsumi’s hand and places it on a nearby basin filled with clear water, left on top of the bedside drawer.

              Toujou rubs the other’s back in a soothing circular motion until Tatsumi’s coughing gradually stops. While Tatsumi is catching his breath Toujou explains, “I told Itsuko-san that you were sick. She told me that she’d count today and the following days as your paid leave.”

              Tatsumi nods, hand coming up to rub his throat, it felt so dry. But he forces himself to speak. “Thanks Toujou-kun, but why are you here?”

              At this Toujou looks slightly abashed, but he doesn’t shy away from elucidation. “I asked to take a break from work today and Itsuko-san allowed me. You didn’t sound great when I called so I came over to check.”

              Toujou’s zero hesitation made Tatsumi’s face heat up further. How could someone be so compassionate? Was it a common trait for ikemen style main character types like Toujou? Or was it something else? Tatsumi feels lightheaded once more and that puts an end to his overthinking. Toujou’s voice filters in through his slightly buzzing ears.

              “Here, I made you some chicken noodle soup. I had to watch a lot of tutorials to get it right but I followed the recipe you sent me.” Toujou gestured to the tray on the nearby table. “Do you think you can eat by yourself?”

              Tatsumi zones out for a moment, trying to understand what Toujou was saying but it felt like his focus was completely shot and he was listening through thick glass or like someone had stuffed cotton into his ears. It’s as if he can hear what Toujou is saying but he can’t exactly decipher what is being said.

              “I’ll take that as a no.” Toujou stands up and helps Tatsumi reposition on the bed so that his back was against the headboard for support. “I’ll help you eat.”

              If Tatsumi was his regular self he would’ve squawked in indignation, but as he is now Tatsumi only had the energy to nod along to whatever Toujou was suggesting. Stomach grumbling at the mention of eating something.

              Toujou took the spoon and scooped up some soup, holding a smaller bowl under the spoon as he blew on the soup to cool it down, the smaller bowl was there to catch any droplets from the spoon. As soon as Toujou was sure that it was ok he brought the spoon towards Tatsumi, the little bowl still beneath it, he didn’t want to stain Tatsumi’s bed and blankets after all.

              A bit teasingly Toujou says, “Here. Say ah~ Tatsumi-san.” He thinks Tatsumi wouldn’t be entertaining this silly request.

              Surprisingly Tatsumi opens his mouth without protest, saying a soft ‘ah’, and accepts the food easily slurping a bit on the spoon, then pulling away to chew slowly.

              Toujou bites his lip to stop himself from grinning, Tatsumi is being so compliant that it’s sending Toujou’s mind whirling at how cute the other looks with his flushed face, sleepy eyes, slowly chewing on the food that Toujou made for him. Toujou’s sure his chest would implode with how full of warmth it is. Plus the relief that Tatsumi isn’t so sick that he’s completely bedridden, if the older man’s condition continues to improve like this then he’ll recover in no time.

              Gradually Tatsumi gets through half of the soup with Toujou spoon feeding him and in the back of his mind a voice echoes a sentiment that sounded grateful for Toujou’s presence. Being taken care of like this wasn’t bad at all and with the younger man here Tatsumi feels more at ease, like he can let his guard down and trust the other man to take care of him. The creeping tendrils of loneliness from earlier have retracted back into the abyss, hiding once more.

              He’s not alone right now.

              And a small smile lifts Tatsumi’s expression.

-=-=-=-

              After the twentieth spoonful Tatsumi makes a pinched expression and pulls away from the next spoon pressed to his mouth, too sleepy to form coherent words to say what he was thinking.

              “You don’t want any more soup?” Toujou asks instead, speaking slowly like he would when conversing with a child.

              Tatsumi nods, nearly falling asleep where he was seated. He was pleasantly full and not hungry anymore. And though he still felt hot he felt comfortable enough and wanted to sleep. Tatsumi closes his eyes.

              “Oh, careful there.”

              Toujou sets aside the spoon and small bowl, opting to quickly support Tatsumi before he topples over, a hand catches Tatsumi by the shoulder in time. Moving carefully, Toujou slides to Tatsumi’s side and allows the older man to lean onto his side while Toujou keeps Tatsumi sitting upright. Sleeping right after eating a lot will not be good for the stomach especially when one lies down. There’s also a chance where food might be regurgitated from lying down so soon and even if the percentage was small Toujou wasn’t going to risk it. So he allows Tatsumi to lean on him for the meanwhile. Just long enough for the food to be digested, and Toujou doesn’t have it in him to complain either. He doesn’t mind having Tatsumi let him get this close and he feels glad to be relied on by the older man.

              “You always did seem to have a wall around you.” Toujou has the courage to say his thoughts out loud only because he was sure Tatsumi was deeply sleeping. Keen blue eyes watch the older man sleep, his fingers twitch, tempted to swipe away at the unruly lavender strands that stuck to Tatsumi’s forehead from all the sweat, fever still present. But he chooses to stay still and allows Tatsumi to get some much-needed sleep.

-=-=-=-

              The next time Tatsumi opens his eyes Toujou is putting a cooling patch on his forehead. Feeling like he was still in a dream Tatsumi reached out a hand to pinch Toujou’s cheek which caught the other by surprise and the younger man flinches away with a yelp.

              “Oh you’re real.” Tatsumi states dumbly, hand hovering in the air where it pinched his coworker’s face.

              Toujou’s eyebrow twitches and he reaches out to pinch Tatsumi’s cheek.

              “Ow!”

              “Yes, I’m real Tatsumi-san and so are you.” Toujou chides, letting go of the other’s cheek. He didn’t pinch that hard but Tatsumi was pouting like he was extremely hurt by the action. Without thinking Toujou pats Tatsumi’s head before immediately freezing as he realizes what he is doing.

              Surprisingly Tatsumi doesn’t pull away, instead he closes his eyes at the touch and his expression turns serene like a satisfied cat.

              He’s so cute.

              Toujou feels his face heat up and he quickly retracts his hand, tucking Tatsumi back into bed before stammering out an excuse, “I-I’ll go clean up in the kitchen, yell for me if you need anything else.”

              Tatsumi looks forlornly at the loss of contact but nods slowly and closes his eyes again, burrowing deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Chest clenching at the sight, Toujou has to force himself to walk out of the room and to focus on cleaning up like he said he would.

-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi wakes up with a clearer mind. He’s not sure how much time has passed, but he doesn’t feel like he’s boiling from the inside out anymore and his limbs no longer weigh like lead. When he moves his body he doesn’t feel as dizzy as he did earlier. Checking the clock Tatsumi blearily notes that it’s already seven in the morning. As he slowly gets out of the bed memories from the past day filters into his groggy mind and he stops right as he enters the living room. Toujou is sleeping on the couch with a single blanket, he appears to be deeply asleep. And a bit of guilt creeps up on Tatsumi, making him feel bad for imposing on the other man nevertheless, Tatsumi was also grateful that Toujou had come to his aid. He recalls how the younger man had cooked soup and even patiently spoon fed him, as well as trying to lower his fever with cool damp towels and cooling patches. Toujou had done a good job. Feeling well enough although still with lingering fever symptoms, Tatsumi estimates that he can cook a quick breakfast for both of them after he gets properly hydrated.

              Tatsumi goes to the kitchen to get a fresh cool cup of water and then he started cooking. Twenty minutes later Tatsumi has breakfast ready just in time as Toujou groans from the couch and wakes up.

              “Tatsumi-san?” Toujou looks bewildered as he sees Tatsumi bringing two bowls to the living room, carefully placing them on the coffee table. “Aren’t you still sick? What are you doing moving about?”

              Toujou’s worried expression makes Tatsumi chuckle. He tries to placate Toujou with a smile, “I was feeling better, so I made us breakfast.”

              “Thank you, but you shouldn’t push yourself when you haven’t completely recovered.” Even as Toujou chastised Tatsumi he gratefully accepted the bowl and looked at its contents with curiosity. “Udon?”

              “It was the easiest to cook.”

              “It looks great.”

              They both say their thanks before they start eating and half-way through their meal Tatsumi pauses to speak. “Toujou-kun I just wanted to thank you for all of this. I-“ Tatsumi allows himself to smile. “I appreciate it a lot.”

              Toujou mirrors his smile. “I just did what any good neighbor would do. I’m glad to see you’re feeling better Tatsumi-san.”

              Tatsumi nods. “I think after another day of rest I’ll be fit to go back to work.”

              “That’s great news. But don’t worry about work, for now just focus on your recovery Tatsumi-san.”

              Tatsumi snorts but grins as he says, “You’re starting to sound like my mom.”

              “Well someone has to remind you to take care of yourself.”

              “Hey!”

              They stare at each other for a second before bursting into laughter, being careful not to spill their meal as they devolve into a fit of giggles.

              Soon they calm down and continue conversing while enjoying their meal.

              “Are you going back to work today Toujou-kun?”

              Toujou checks his watch and shakes his head. “I’ll be late even if I rush to go now. I’ve already filed my leave for two days anyway so I’m free today.” Then he fakes a look of hurt. “Are you trying to get rid of me already Tatsumi-san?”

              The older man playfully rolls his eyes. “Oh hush. You can stay here for today too. Count it as my thanks for all your help.”

              “So gracious~” The teasing tone is back.

              “I can kick you out if you want.”

              “No! I’m fine right here.” Toujou grins cheekily and Tatsumi responds with a fond shake of his head.

              “Do you want to watch a movie?” The older man offers instead, finishing the rest of his udon before Toujou.

              “I don’t mind. What movie do you have in mind?”

              The two men spend the rest of the day doing a movie marathon with a list they both contributed to, but they started the marathon after Toujou went home to quickly change out of his work clothes. In the middle of the movie marathon they paused for a while so that Toujou could go out to buy snacks and ingredients for their lunch. And while they ate lunch they continued to watch movies with Toujou making sure that Tatsumi still took his medicine as needed. It was a great time to relax, enjoy their impromptu vacation, and simply spend time watching movies together, not having the pressures of deadlines and schedules to meet looming over their shoulders. Tatsumi couldn’t help the feeling of comfort and ease that Toujou’s presence brought him, several times Tatsumi notices his body nearly almost leaning into Toujou’s assuring presence. But Tatsumi stops himself each time.

              When night came around Toujou said his farewell because he needed to prepare for work tomorrow.

              “You’re sure you’ll be alright.” Toujou asks for the nth time that day, putting on his shoes at the entrance.

              “Yes, yes, I’ll be fine Toujou-kun. Thank you again for dropping by.” Tatsumi assures the worrywart as much as he could.

              “You can send me a message if you need any else ok, Tatsumi-san?”

              Tatsumi wanted to chuckle but the serious look on Toujou’s face makes him stifle that initial reaction, instead he nods. “I will. Although I might take one more day off of work tomorrow.”

              Toujou’s expression relaxes. “Please do so until you feel certain you’re completely back to good health. Get well soon Tatsumi-san.”

              Tatsumi waves his goodbye. “Thank you. Goodnight Toujou-kun.”

              Toujou’s smile is nearly blinding as he returns the wave. “Goodnight.” And then he’s off.

              The older man pretends that the sudden silence in his apartment doesn’t bother him, nor does he acknowledge the feeling that makes his eyes linger on the space on the couch that Toujou had previously occupied just minutes ago.

-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi manages to go to work after three days of absence due to his fever. But he does something he hasn’t ever done before. That morning he woke up early and waited for Toujou before they both headed to work.

              As soon as Toujou saw Tatsumi waiting outside his apartment door his blue eyes lit up. “Tatsumi-san! Good morning. How are you? Are you going back to work today?”

              “Yeah. I feel good enough to go back to work finally. And I have something for you,” Tatsumi mumbles the last sentence with a hint of bashfulness as he holds out a bento wrapped in a navy cloth. “It’s a bento as my thanks for all the help while I was sick.”

              Tatsumi watches Toujou’s eyes widen comically like saucers and he would’ve laughed if his own face wasn’t as red as a tomato because of what he was currently doing. It was just a gesture of thanks Tatsumi insists in his mind, but the way Toujou practically takes the bento like it was a precious gift makes something flip flop in Tatsumi’s chest, a fluttering sense that he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

              “Thank you, Tatsumi-san.”

              The awe in Toujou’s voice has Tatsumi immediately turning away, redness creeping up his neck. “Yep, don’t mention it. See you at work.” And Tatsumi quickly leaves to start his journey to work.

              “Hey wait for me Tatsumi-san! Let’s go to work together!” Toujou’s grin is difficult to erase even as Tatsumi pretends he doesn’t hear the younger man call for him, keeping his eyes trained forward. Toujou follows his friend with the bento on hand, feeling smug as he watches a red flush paint Tatsumi’s neck and ears.

              His coworker is simply the cutest. Toujou feels his chest swell with happiness, holding the bento close like he was afraid it would disappear if he didn’t hold it tight enough.

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              After the incident where Toujou had taken care of a sick Tatsumi they somehow started going to work together. It wasn’t something they talked about nor discussed, it just kind of happened after Tatsumi had given Toujou that bento. When the two of them exited their apartments at the same time the next day, they easily just went to work together that day too without protest or negative reactions from either side. And they went to work the next Monday after the weekend. And then the next day after that. Pretty soon it was a routine they fell into just like their other activities and neither man had any issues with it so they continued to do it.

              Among other things Toujou and Tatsumi also began talking more in the office. These were conversations that weren’t completely about work and as usual either man just went along with the change as easy as a river flows. If Tatsumi had something to tell the younger man he would approach Toujou himself without hesitation and Toujou would listen and respond when needed. This also happened vice versa.

              Itsuko noticed the frequency of interactions between the two men and she kept it to herself with a mischievous aura hidden behind a gentle smile. But she wasn’t the only one with observant eyes in the office with keen ears.

              When two single bachelors noticeably get closer in their day to day interactions predictably people around them will start to talk. Toujou noticed it first in the office when their coworkers would sneak glances at him and Tatsumi whenever they were together and no matter how brief the interaction would be. He hears whispers of gossips and rumors, of course those are par for the course for someone like him, but he was worried if all the commotion would end up scaring Tatsumi away. Which would be an egregious occurrence when their friendship was just beginning. However, much to Toujou’s surprise Tatsumi didn’t seem to notice the change in their surroundings at all.

              The older man continued on with life as if nothing was amiss and Toujou was undeniably relieved. He was really enjoying this budding friendship with Tatsumi and he didn’t want anything ruining this for either of them. And even if Tatsumi used their extra time together in the mornings to discuss the day’s tasks for quicker implementation when they get to work Toujou didn’t mind at all.

              Thankfully the rumors die down after a week of Toujou and Tatsumi behaving normally towards each other and the rest of their coworkers. With the gossips rotting like overripe grapes on the grapevine, falling away to be forgotten on the ground, Toujou was able to enjoy more moments with this unlikely friendship he had built with his ex’s older brother. Sometimes real life was weird like that.

-=-=-=-

              After the fever incident Tatsumi starts becoming more conscious of Toujou. Not in a way that is too cautious but more on the side of curiosity. He notices some of Toujou’s quirks where the younger man would keep a placid smile whenever he’s dealing with people during work. But when he really smiles the edges of his eyes crinkle and his eyes sort of sparkle. Tatsumi notices the way Toujou’s golden hair flows like a waterfall of sunshine in the right lighting or under natural sunlight. Toujou’s jaw was now more pronounced, gone were the slight pudge of baby fat he had during his high school years, somehow he looks even more masculine.

              Tatsumi wonders if Toujou has always been this handsome or if his already conventional good looks were boosted by the fact that they lived in a world that favored BL tropes above anything else.

              Toujou catches Tatsumi staring one time at the office and he gives the older man one of his genuine smiles which makes Tatsumi feel a bit caught by surprise as he smiles back.

-=-=-=-

              Two weeks pass with Tatsumi trying not to stare too much at Toujou during work, although sometimes he still catches his gaze unwittingly drifting off to look at the blond once in a while. At times he notices it and he looks away, other times Toujou catches him and he has to smile awkwardly before averting his gaze back to what he was doing.

              In the middle of a work week, while he was taking a break, Tatsumi gets a text from Kazuki, the younger man is asking him what type of cake flavor Toujou prefers.

[why are u asking me?]

[Because you’re his work partner!!]

[that doesn’t mean I know what flavor of cake he likes]

[whats with the sudden question]

[Oh RIGHT! Are you coming to the surprise party?!]

[party?]

[It’s Tojo’s birthday soon. On Friday! Itsuko-san wanted to throw a surprise party that doubles as a celebration party for all the clients Tojo got for the company!]

[Awesome right!?]

              Tatsumi paused. It was the first time he was hearing about this surprise party. A twinge of irritation flashes within him, twisting something in his chest that was unwanted before he shook it away.

[what time will the party be?]

[Right after work this Friday. You’re coming right????]

[Yeah, yeah…and for the cake I don’t think he’s picky. But maybe vanilla is a safe bet]

[Probably]

[Awesome! I’ll let Shou know so we can get that made, thanks Tatsumi!!]

              Tatsumi snorted at the lack of honorifics but didn’t mind all that much. He sent a thumbs up and closed his phone. He went back to his desk and he should be focusing on work but his focus gets drawn back to the topic with Kazuki.

              Toujou’s birthday huh?

              He wonders how long the department had this surprise planned and why wasn’t he informed? But also, should he have been informed about it before today? Tatsumi ponders on the question but he is left with no clear answers. Instead he starts thinking about something more important, Toujou’s birthday gift. Surely plenty of people were going to be giving him gifts, that much was to be expected. Although, did Tatsumi want to prepare one too?

              He should, right?

              It is going to be a company party so it’s not like he was the only one who would be bringing a gift. Yeah. So what should he give as a gift?

Tatsumi stared at his computer screen for a while, unable to think of an answer immediately. Soon the clock struck noon and Tatsumi still hadn’t thought of a gift. Sure he could always get a generic gift, impersonal and common enough, yet somehow he didn’t want to give Toujou a gift that didn’t have much thought put into it.

              “Tatsumi-san are you not going to go for lunch?”

              Speak of the devil, Toujou was standing beside Tatsumi’s desk, waiting patiently.

              “Ah yeah, let me just save my files.”

              After he saved what needed saving, Tatsumi stood and made sure he had his wallet, phone, and keys with him. “Ready.”

              Both men started heading to the nearest restaurant. Neither of them knew when this routine started but they ended up getting lunch together. Perhaps it began when they became work partners and Tatsumi needed to discuss work details with Toujou all those months ago, and they ended up extending the discussion into lunch time while they ate. No matter the reason, they had gotten into the habit of getting lunch at this Mediterranean restaurant. Toujou liked exploring the variety of exotic dishes and he plans to try cooking some at a later date, Tatsumi just tagged along but he also enjoyed the new types of dishes as a fresh reprieve from their normal everyday meals. With this routine neither one saw the need to stop getting lunch together.

              “You seem lost in thought today. Do you have a new project you’re working on?” The younger man commented, though he kept his eyes on the path ahead.

              “Something like that.” Tatsumi then asks. “Say Toujou, in terms of sweets or desserts like cake what’s your favorite flavor?”

              Tatsumi might as well just ask point blank, dithering and being secretive about the subject would only be more suspicious. With a casual question there’s a lesser chance of making it obvious that Tatsumi was asking for a specific reason.

              The unexpected question gives Toujou some pause. It takes a few seconds before he gives his reply. “I don’t think I have a favorite. Each flavor depends on the sweet or dessert I think. So in that case for cakes I like it when the cake is soft and fluffy with vanilla cream, topping it with some fruit would also go well with the cream.”

              Toujou then turns to Tatsumi. “How about you Tatsumi-san?”

              “I like all kinds of sweets and cakes. But I guess if I have to pick a favorite cake flavor it would be anything that goes well with strawberries.” Tatsumi answers just as casually. He then gets an idea of what he’d be able to give to Toujou for his birthday present.

              Too deep in thought, Tatsumi misses the look of satisfaction on his coworker’s face.

              Toujou was silently proud that he had correctly guessed Tatsumi’s preference for desserts. He stores away that info in the compartment within his mind that was starting to fill up with all things related to his work partner and neighbor. The compartment was filling up quite fast but no one else had to know that.

-=-=-=-

              Friday arrives without much fanfare but the atmosphere in the office was buzzing with underlying anticipation. Most of the workers were able to keep themselves from spoiling the surprise. But there was a small number of chatterboxes that nearly exposed it. Namely Kazuki, thankfully Shou was there to shut him up just in time by kissing him senseless. Tatsumi was one of the unfortunate witnesses to such an eyesore alongside Toujou. And when Toujou turned to Tatsumi with a confused look the older man could only shrug and shake his head. It was impossible to understand the reasonings of fools after all.

              By the time the clock reached 6 PM everyone in the office, aside from Toujou, stood up and yelled, “Happy Birthday Toujou-kun!”

              Two people placed a bouquet and a sash on Toujou that had the words ‘Birthday Boy’ in gold letters on the white background. It was over the top in Tatsumi’s opinion but seeing Toujou’s eyes shine as bright as starlight made Tatsumi rethink his opinion. Even as a new recruit Toujou had done outstanding work for the company. Thanks to his marketing talent the company had garnered not one, not two, but three big clients and all that was possible through Toujou’s tireless work. And even though Tatsumi could reason that all this success was partially due to the BL world’s bias for characters like Toujou, Tatsumi can’t deny that out of all the people he had met so far no one worked as dedicated as Toujou did. And as his work partner Tatsumi couldn’t be more proud. Toujou deserved to be acknowledged for all the effort he had put in.

              As a crowd formed around Toujou to greet him ‘Happy Birthday’ and a congratulations, blue eyes searched through the numerous faces and stops when he meets Tatsumi’s gaze. And as if time had stopped Toujou mouthed the words ‘thank you’ to Tatsumi, with his bright smile, eyes glowing with gladness, and the edges of his eyes crinkled.

              Tatsumi’s heart very obviously skips a beat, but he only replies with a smile of his own and a thumbs up.

-=-=-=-

              Itsuko-san moved the celebration to a fancy restaurant, a different venue from their usual izakaya. Everyone was encouraged to enjoy fully themselves especially since it was a Friday night and they had reserved the entire floor. And everyone did not hold back, people thoroughly enjoyed their time at the restaurant with eating, drinking, and having loud boisterous conversations with repeated congratulations and pats on the back for Toujou.

              As usual Tatsumi sat near the tables that were not exactly at the center of attention but not too much on the edges to be too far from seeing what was happening with Toujou. His coworker appeared to be busy with talking with a lot of people but he seemed to be enjoying himself at least, the smile hasn’t left his face since the surprise greeting at the office. Tatsumi had his gift for Toujou prepared but he didn’t think giving it to Toujou right now was good timing, many other people had been handing the blond gifts and the items have been starting to pile up. Some of the gifts even had to be placed below the table in order not to clutter the dining space. Tatsumi makes a note to give Toujou’s gift at a later time and he focuses on tasting the different food on display at the buffet. He may as well enjoy himself while waiting. The party continues on with high energy and some people doing party games on the allotted small stage up front.

              Unbeknownst to Tatsumi, Toujou had been eager to break away from the crowd in order to chat with his friend but the people around him continue to ebb and flow, but they never seem to decrease completely for him to excuse himself. And although he did his best to entertain the questions he was becoming drained from the continuous social interaction. True to his impeccable social work he didn’t let his waning energy affect his expression but as the evening wore on his patience was beginning to run out. He really wanted to talk to Tatsumi during the party, there were some things he wanted to say to the older man that he was itching to blurt out. Alas, people simply would not leave him alone.

-=-=-=-

              It’s the middle of the party when Tatsumi starts hitting the alcohol, having passing conversations with whoever happens to pass by him or sit next to him, most of his coworkers stand up and move around though so he doesn’t spend too long chatting. Tatsumi tries to limit his alcohol intake to two cups this time, he wanted to be sober enough in order to give Toujou his gift after the party. The older man was munching on some red bean paste mochi when someone sits beside him. He turns and is pleasantly surprised to see Mr. Birthday Boy himself.

              “Ah Toujou-kun, hello.”

              “Hello Tatsumi-san.”

              “Happy birthday and good work.” Tatsumi realizes that’s the first time he’d said those words to Toujou tonight and he feels a bit guilty for not approaching the other to greet him earlier. He tries to make it up to him by carrying their conversation. “I see you’re having a very eventful evening.”

              “Thank you and yes, very much so. But I can’t help notice you’re not out there mingling with everyone else.”

              “Joining in the games isn’t really my type of fun. How about you?” Tatsumi tries to keep the topic off of himself, it’s Toujou’s night after all.

              “I think I’m quite beat from all the talking with other people and with the party itself. I don’t think I can play games tonight though I don’t mind them in general.” Toujou admits in a soft whisper, alcohol making his tongue loose, usually he wouldn’t say such things outright. From up close Tatsumi does see that Toujou looks exhausted with some of the dark bags under his eyes becoming more prominent.

              “You know you can excuse for yourself from the party, right? You don’t need to stay until everyone leaves.” Tatsumi points out bluntly.

              “Yes, but that feels rude.” Toujou confesses with a sigh.

              Tatsumi finishes the last of his drink, looking around the half-filled restaurant before making a conscious decision. He takes a deep breath and stands. Then he holds out his hand towards the birthday boy and offers with compassion, “Do you want to make your exit with me?”

              The offer makes Toujou’s lips twitch into a smile and he accepts gratefully, placing a hand into Tatsumi’s outstretched one. “I’d be honored to.”

              Tatsumi helps Toujou stand up and they head to the center table where all of Toujhou’s gifts were at, Tatsumi took his own suitcase with him.

              Toujou does most of the work of saying good byes and plenty of thank you’s meanwhile Tatsumi focused on looking for bags big enough to stuff all Toujou’s gifts into. As they finally managed to make their exit and get away from the party Toujou breathes a sigh of relief, tense shoulders now sagging.

              Tatsumi tries not to frown but Toujou can be quite too considerate, even when it was supposed to be his birthday, a day specifically for him to celebrate and relax. Instead the younger man was too preoccupied with still putting others above himself, somehow that fact makes an ache burn in Tatsumi’s chest for whatever reason. Then Tatsumi is reminded of the gift that he still hasn’t been able to give Toujou. It was in his suitcase, he decides to give it when they reach Toujou’s apartment. Both of their hands are full with carrying bags of the gifts Toujou received anyway. Tatsumi hopes there isn’t anything breakable because he stuffed the gifts into each bag like a pack of sardines to make sure everything fit. They were lucky the restaurant sold big enough bags to even fit everything into two bags. Toujou had offered to carry both but Tatsumi suggested they take one each instead and so they did.

              It had gotten quite late the last trains must have already left by now.

              “I think we should take a taxi.” Tatsumi suggested.

              “Yeah, lets do that.” Toujou agreed easily.

              It didn’t take long for them to wave down a taxi. During the ride Tatsumi felt like he should fill the silence with conversations but one look at Toujou dissuaded him, the younger man appeared exhausted by the day’s events. Tatsumi decided to give Toujou some peace and quiet. This turned out to be the right decision. Not even five minutes on the road and Toujou somehow already fell asleep. The fond smile on Tatsumi’s lips went unnoticed even to himself when he saw his work partner dozing off, amusingly trying to stay awake before succumbing to slumber anyway. Tatsumi allowed Toujou to catch up on much needed rest while he kept his eyes peeled for their stop.

              With less traffic compared to the rush hours of mornings and the flock of crowds heading home in the evenings, their travel time in this night was halved. Tatsumi woke Toujou up after he paid the driver when they reached their stop. Groggy but immediately slipping into his flawless characteristic, Toujou smoothly opened the door and got out of the taxi with the two large bags in hand, leaving the door open for Tatsumi to follow suit. Tatsumi exited the car and offered a quick thank you to the driver before closing the door.

              “Alright, give me one of the bags.” Tatsumi said, reaching for one and taking it right out of Toujou’s grasp.

              “Ah,” Toujou thought of arguing but quickly let it go. “Thank you Tatsumi-san.”

              “No problem.”

              The two make their way up the stairs with minimal struggle, Tatsumi being happy as he continued to see the fruits of his hours toiling in the gym week after week. Soon enough they arrive at the third floor and Toujou unlocked his apartment.

              He doesn’t wait to offer outright, “Why don’t you come in for some tea, Tatsumi-san?”

              Tatsumi was about to decline but then he remembered the gift he still hasn’t given.

              “Sure.” He took this as the perfect opportunity.

              They shuffle their shoes off at the genkan after locking the front door, leaving the bags by the coffee table in the living room. Tatsumi took a seat on the couch while Toujou went to the kitchen to prepare their tea. With the birthday boy busy, Tatsumi reached into his suitcase and brought out the gift he had for Toujou.

              It was a rectangular blue metal tin with golden rounded edges along its lid and the size of two notebooks stacked on top of each other, much like a bento. The look was completed with a pretty red bow tied around the container to keep it securely closed. He hid the present behind him a few seconds before Toujou returned to the living room.

              Tatsumi waited until Toujou set the teacups and tea kettle on the table before he brought out the present and gave it to Toujou with a genial smile.

              “Happy Birthday Toujou-kun.”

              Eyes widened in surprise, Toujou opened and closed his mouth several times, rendered speechless for a good while before he took the gift and stuttered out a reply. “You- You bought me a gift Tatsumi-san?”

              “I made you one.” Tatsumi smiled smugly at the utter bewilderment from Toujou.
“It took a bit of time to decide but ultimately that’s what I came up with.”

              Toujou unraveled the ribbon carefully. And when he opened the blue tin, the contents made his jaw drop. Inside the tin was a variety of cookies with different shapes, some were bones with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ written on them, the others were paws, and two cute dog designs. Toujou immediately recognized the inspiration for the dog shaped cookies.

              “You made Omochi cookies!”

              Toujou couldn’t hide the gleeful surprise. There was no mistaking it. That golden brown fur, those cute eyes, fluffy droopy ears, and that button nose. That’s his family dog, Omochi!

              “Yep. I’m glad the cookie designs were good enough for you to recognize Omochi.” Tatsumi scooted closer and pointed to each design. “Omochi’s cookie is decorated with chocolate mixed with white chocolate to get a lighter brown color. The white paws are made with white chocolate, topped with strawberry icing for the toe beans. That bone is strawberry and the other is blueberry.”

              Toujou couldn’t look away from the other man even while Tatsumi was explaining the flavors, his friend looked so proud. Warm affection and gratitude filled Toujou’s chest, he couldn’t hold back the big grin on his face. At some point he feels his eyes sting with how thoughtful the gift was, immensely making him feel so touched. But he didn’t allow the tears to fall, blinking them away quickly before they get noticed and spoil the mood.

              Instead he takes one of the Omochi cookies and he smiles brighter when he notices that there are more cookies beneath it, the whole tin is filled with cookies in fact. The amount of work put into the gift was obvious, from the perfectly baked cookies to the tiniest details with the icing and chocolate.

              “Tatsumi-san… This is one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I-“ Toujou pauses to take a breath lest his voice shakes. “Thank you so much.” His voice is full of genuine gratitude and something else.

              Tatsumi was momentarily stunned by the raw vulnerable tone Toujou replied with, but he was quick to bounce back. “I’m glad you like the gift Toujou-kun.” Then the older man gestured to the cookies, “Give them a taste.”

              Toujou hesitated to destroy such detailed craftmanship even if it was meant to be eaten. Seeing Toujou’s dilemma, Tatsumi brought out his phone and took several pictures of Toujou along with clear shots of the cookies.

              “There. I sent you the pictures. Now you’ll have a remembrance for those cookies. Now come on, eat up!” Tatsumi encouraged.

              Toujou felt better with the knowledge that the gift would be immortalized through pictures. He takes one of the cookies shaped like a paw and he handed Tatsumi one as well. The older man didn’t turn away the offer but he does wait for Toujou to take the first bite.

              And Toujou does.

              “Is that oats, peanut butter, and chocolate?” With a hint of berry?”

              “Yes it is!” Tatsumi couldn’t look more proud nor excited, smile making his eyes shine.

              “This is well made Tatsumi-san, you’ve improved!” Toujou easily praised, no lies or exaggeration.

              Tatsumi took a bite from his own cookie, enjoying the taste before responding, “I wouldn’t have been able to make those without all your baking lessons, it’s all thanks to you Toujou Sensei~.” A teasing grin on his face, Tatsumi pats Toujou on the back.

              Toujou flushes at the praise but mumbles after a sip of tea, “You’re always doing that.”

              “Doing what?” Tatsumi raises an eyebrow in question.

              “You keep dodging praise when you receive it.” Toujou bluntly points out, perhaps he was drunker than he thought. Usually he wouldn’t be so bold.

              Luckily Tatsumi took no offense. But he does snort lightly and chuckles, voice smooth like butter. “It takes one to know one.”

              “And what do you mean by that?”

              “You do the exact same thing. But rather than dodging praise you prefer that other people’s works would be highlighted more than yours. You like to downplay your own achievements.” Tatsumi set his teacup down, eyes glancing to his side to meet Toujou’s piercing ones. He smiles. “I’m right aren’t I?”

              Toujou’s responding smile is a bit more reserved, breaking eye contact to stare into his teacup. “I suppose you’re right. I very much wanted to celebrate the success of our collaborative project accomplishments with you tonight. But the party only focused on me.”

              “It’s your birthday! The boss probably just wanted to lump the two celebrations together to save money. I don’t see why I would be needed to celebrate with you on your birthday.”

              At this Toujou has a pinched expression when he explains, “Aside from it being my birthday you deserve the acknowledgement for the work you did too. All those clients they say I managed to get partnerships for the company were only possible because I had you as a work partner, all of them were during our projects. You deserve the credit as much as I do. We worked together. It was hardly fair for me to claim all the credit don’t you think?”

              ‘Oh, Toujou feels slighted on my behalf?’

              `The older man now fully turns to face Toujou and gives his friend a perplexed look. “You get hung over the strangest reasons, you know that?”

              “Wha- Hey! It’s not strange!”

              “But I suppose you can’t help it.” Tatsumi relaxes into the couch with a slightly amused expression but also slightly confused by Toujou’s hang ups about Tatsumi not getting acknowledged.  “You’re right. We both worked on those projects but I don’t mind not being put under the spotlight. Because if that happens I’d only be pressured to up keep my ‘best’ performance to stay within the company’s new bar of expectations set upon me without any consideration for how I feel about it.” He calmly explains. “Having a new minimum expected degree of performance is something that I consider bothersome. It’s too much to deal with and I don’t want to deal with that work. So honestly I’m ok. You don’t have to worry about me missing out on credit or anything like that. And if I ever did feel that things have been unfair I’m mature enough to speak up my mind and say so.”

              That was a lot of words, Tatsumi doesn’t think he’d spoken that much in one continuous moment before. But Toujou appeared to be in deep thought so Tatsumi allows the blond to process what he had said. It’s not like he was lying, that is the main reason why he didn’t want to be put on a pedestal. However there was another reason and that is because being a top performing employee was bound to raise flags of all kinds, drawing attention he didn’t want. It’s not like he’d tell Toujou that though.

              After a minute of silence with Tatsumi slowly consuming his tea, Toujou speaks up. “In that case could I invite you out as a celebration instead? It’ll be just the two of us and it’ll be my treat. Consider it as my thanks to you since you’ve helped me out a ton and as a celebration for the success of all our projects since our work partnership began.” Toujou carefully laid out his offer, he was trying to barter for a compromise, a middle ground so that he wouldn’t feel guilty for taking the credit and to allow Tatsumi to enjoy a celebration without endangering his regular status in the company.

              Tatsumi made a show of thinking it over, but he was smiling too much like a gremlin for Toujou to take the display seriously.

              In the end Tatsumi hums, placing his hands on his knees, preparing to give his response. He looks at Toujou head on. “If I agree to this will it make you loosen up and enjoy your birthday as intended? Which means can we just have fun and enjoy the rest of your birthday together without you worrying over someone else? Yeah?”

              “I-“ Toujou hesitates, still hung up on wanting to treat Tatsumi with work and reward equity, but he bites his tongue and nods. If he agrees to this condition then that means he can give Tatsumi his own special celebration later on. “Alright Tatsumi-san.”

              “Great! I’ll go buy more sake!” Tatsumi boasts, eagerly getting up to go to the nearest convenience store. “And no complaints!”

              Tatsumi is out of the door before Toujou could complain anyway. The blond hums out a soft chuckle, thoroughly amused by Tatsumi’s antics. While the other man was away he started tidying up the coffee table and stored the bags of gifts in his bedroom to be sorted through at another day. He also made his way to the kitchen to get the shot glasses and snacks. If they were going to drink all night they may as well do it right and make the most out of the coming weekend.

-=-=-=-=-

              It’s way past midnight when they’re too drunk to continue further, both calming down from a fit of giggles as they slump into the couch. They had spent all night talking about anything and everything from ranting about work and the state of the economy to lighter topics of why the sky is blue and how sunsets turn purple, pink, and orange. It’s a smorgasbord of conversations and everything melted into drunken moments of laughter and lighthearted banter. And Toujou has never felt more unhampered in his life.

              Talking with Tatsumi was easy and smooth going, it seems as if they can never run out of things to talk about. Tatsumi pitches topics left and right and Toujou adds on whatever information he can come up with whether it was verified or not. Chatting and having a drink like this with Tatsumi was soothing and calming in a way that Toujou hasn’t experienced much before. Tatsumi brought about moments filled with interesting things, there’s never a dull moment with him and Toujou likes that.

              Toujou blinks slowly, staring up at the bright ceiling light.

              He likes spending time with Tatsumi like this…or perhaps? Hmm… Toujou’s too drunk to continue with that line of thought and Tatsumi slumping into him in a drunken tirade about something or other snapped the blond back to present. Toujou giggled at Tatsumi’s rambling incoherence but he listened all the same, blue eyes watching Tatsumi as they’re sprawled on the couch leaning against each other, shoulder to shoulder. Like this Toujou can see Tatsumi’s flushes cheeks and lively dark eyes, that mole right below his eye, and the way his lavender hair perks up like cat ears on the sides.

              Tatsumi-san is cute.

              He’s always been cute.

              And with their sudden proximity, drunk and all, Toujou is reminded of a day long ago. Back when he was still in high school and he was still starting his relationship with Ayato, Toujou had found Tatsumi drunk and sleeping on a bench one night. The very first thought that came into Toujou’s mind when he realized that it was Tatsumi is that this was an interesting turn of events, and that he should probably help the older man out. The second thing that came to mind was helping the older man home as an act of kindness for Ayato.

              Now that they’re both older, wiser in a way, and with more life experience, Toujou can see now that he didn’t carry Tatsumi all the way home just for Ayato, but also because he did genuinely care for Tatsumi back then. Looking down at the drunk but clearly happy man, Toujou starts to think that he doesn’t mind it if he has to see the other drunk like this again. As long as he was with Tatsumi all was well.

              Toujou wishes time would move slower if only so he could drag this night just a bit longer, to listen to Tatsumi laugh and gleefully chat with him a little more. He wants to treasure the moments he was spending with Tatsumi, the man who gave him a new perspective in life and pushed him to move on from his past. The man who went out of his way to make a personalized gift and had tea and drinks with him just to make Toujou enjoy his birthday to the fullest, to celebrate his special day as it was supposed to be spent. All in all Toujou is starting to like his life in Beppu, the company he keeps, and his neighbor and coworker - Tatsumi.

              He likes spending time with Tatsumi.

              He likes talking with Tatsumi.

              He just likes Tatsumi in general.

              And- oh… oh.

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              The next day both men woke up from their drunken night with killer headaches. Tatsumi was sprawled on the couch while Toujou had managed to get to his bed before falling unconscious. Since it was a Saturday neither of them were in a rush to get ready for work, Tatsumi volunteered to help clean the mess in the living room while Toujou got their breakfast ready with meals that would help with their hangover. With a clearer head compared to last night, Toujou used this time alone in the kitchen to reflect. Yesterday was truly something, even though they were both drunk Toujou can still remember the sobering conclusion he had gotten to by the end of the night.

              It’s not a big deal. It was just the alcohol talking.

              And so against the quick beating of his heart Toujou decides to label that line of thought as nothing more than the careless thoughts borne from a drunken session. He shoves those thoughts to the back of his mind and concentrates on cooking their meal.

              Two weeks pass without much development nor progress with Toujou’s hidden thoughts about his friend. Yes, he has thought about it since that drunken night and yes, his mind betrays him by bringing up his developing feelings every now and then, but he didn’t want to act rashly. If these feelings weren’t just from the alcohol then he needs to be careful and to be sure about it himself. Half-hearted feelings will only get him into another situation where he doesn’t want to place himself in. Half-hearted feelings with no aim nor direction other than lovesick staring, gushy longing, and daydreaming had no place in his life. He had gone through too much to allow such flimsy emotions a chance to inject doubt into a friendship he treasures. Toujou decides to keep his feelings under wraps until he’s sure that they aren’t simple infatuation.

              Meanwhile, Toujou did keep his part of the agreement and he had neatly arranged that outing he had promised to take Tatsumi on. Instead of settling with one location Toujou had fixed an itinerary for different locations, making use of the whole day. Although he hadn’t informed Tatsumi of the other locations, so far all Tatsumi knows is that they were going out for the day and that Toujou had a place in mind they could visit. They had agreed to do the outing on a Saturday, forgoing their usual gym session so that they could enjoy the entire day freely from morning until evening. Tatsumi deserved the treat after all the work he’d done and Toujou was one who went all out even in the simplest things, he wanted to make this day special for Tatsumi.

              Toujou checks his stuff one last time, making sure that he has everything he needs for the day, and when he’s satisfied he leaves his apartment and goes knocking on Tatsumi’s door. It doesn’t take long for his friend to answer.

              “Good morning, Tatsumi-san.”

              “Good morning.” Tatsumi was wearing his casual black joggers with an unbuttoned blue fruit-print button-up over a white shirt. He adjusted his white bucket hat and nodded at Toujou. “Ready to go?”

              “Yes.”

              “Alright, let’s go.” Tatsumi locks his door. And as they’re headed towards the building exit he had to ask, “Where are we headed off to?”

              “That’s a secret. I want it to be a surprise.” Toujou whispered between them as if sharing undisclosed intel while he wore a sly but saintly looking smile.

              Knowing Toujou’s quirks to an extent Tatsumi decided not to press the issue and followed his friend without further questions. But when the Toujou started heading to the garage instead of the road Tatsumi couldn’t hold himself back from asking.

              “Aren’t we headed out? Why are you going to the garage?”

              “Oh, since we have quite a distance to cover I decided to drive us there instead.” Toujou opened one of the roll-up gates that hid a section of the divided garage and reveals a fully decked out motorcycle, sleek black with chrome peaking out here and there.

              Tatsumi’s eyes widen with complete shock, he stares with mouth agape and he splutters, “You’re driving a motorcycle?!”

              Toujou has the gall to chuckle like Tatsumi had said a joke. He stands beside the motorbike and pats the seat with an expression that carried pride. “Yeah, it’s my own. A Yamaha YZF-R7, it’s the first thing I bought for myself when I managed to save enough from my first job in Tokyo.”

              When Tatsumi got over the initial shock he approaches the bike with a calculating gaze. The motorcycle looks pristine and well taken care of. “How come I’ve never seen you use it before?”

              “I didn’t feel any need to use it for office travel and I haven’t had much reason to use it outside of work either. But now we can use it for our outing.” Toujou looked incredibly giddy as he finished explaining.

              Despite seeing his friend’s excitement Tatsumi was left a bit unsure. “Not to be the one to ruin the mood but are you sure it’s safe for two people? I’ve never ridden a motorcycle before…”

              Understanding his friend’s worries, Toujou gave Tatsumi a bright and confident smile. “I’ve been driving this for three years and I’ve given countless of people rides on this thing. We’ll be ok.”

              Tatsumi’s lip quirks up at that. “Is that your way of boasting about how many people you’ve picked up with this thing?”

              Toujou playfully rolls his eyes. “Of course not.” He retrieves two helmets from a nearby shelf and hands Tatsumi one. “I don’t need to boast what’s already obvious.”

              “Tsk, cocky as always.” Tatsumi returns the banter, watching Toujou wear his own helmet and trying to copy how the younger man did it.

              Seeing Tatsumi have some problems with the helmet strap Toujou went over and helped his friend. “You have to make sure you secure the strap, you don’t want your helmet flying off especially when you need it to stay put.” Toujou explains, pretending that his skin didn’t flush whenever his fingers accidentally brushed Tatsumi’s neck and chin.

              After the helmets were put on, Toujou brought out two sets of safety gear and gave Tatsumi one of the sets; full gear from jackets, to knee and shin guards, plus riding gloves. “Here, you better wear these as well.”

              Tatsumi looked at the things presented with some skepticism even as he took the offered gear into his hands. “This kind of looks like overkill don’t you think?”

              “Safety is always a priority Tatsumi-san.” Toujou replied before mumbling under his breath, “Especially if I have you riding with me.” And after he wears his own gear he immediately helps Tatsumi with his gear even though the older man seemed hesitant to put it on. It took 10 minutes of preparation before everything was ready; the motorcycle moved outside, the garage locked and closed, and they were all geared up and set to go.

              “You really couldn’t have given me a warning first before all this?” Tatsumi complained one last time as he watched Toujou get on the bike with practiced ease.

              “It was meant to be a surprise.”

              “Well you can count me surprised then, very much so.”

              Toujou smiled at his fretting friend and he pats the seat behind him. “Come on Tatsumi-san, I’ve got you. I promise to drive carefully. You can trust me.”

              And maybe it was the unwavering confidence in Toujou’s tone or the sunlight catching the lagoon within his eyes that made them shine like brilliant sapphires, but for whatever reason Tatsumi felt inclined to trust in his friend.

              The older man heaves a sigh and cautiously climbs onto the bike, sitting behind Toujou. “Don’t make me regret agreeing to go on this outing with you Toujou-kun.”

              Toujou smirked and grabbed Tatsumi’s hands, pulling them to wrap around his waist in a secure hold. “I won’t let you fall Tatsumi-san, so hold on tight to me ok?”

              And hold on tight he did.

              The motor revved loudly, and within a short time they made their way into the highway and off to who knows where. At first Tatsumi remained stiff, clinging on to Toujou like his life depended on it, curling into the younger man’s back with face buried between broad shoulders, refusing to even open his eyes. But as the ride went on without much fanfare Tatsumi slowly opened his eyes and was met with the sight of the cityscape zipping past them, the sun beating down on them on a lightly cloudy day, and the wind whipping past them at incredible speed.

              Once they break free from the traffic jams, making their way past skyscrapers, cars, and people, Toujou pulls into a highway with less traffic flow. As the cityscape slowly faded from modern architecture into the greenery of the suburbs, away from the crowded city and congested highways, Tatsumi gets drawn to the view, wide eyes capturing the whizzing scenery with growing interest, unaware that he was still clinging on to Toujou tightly. The older man didn’t go out much past the route to work and back home, most of what he was familiar with in Beppu was limited to a small area. Even most of his vacations were spent at home or strolling on quick trips through the park or dropping by the convenience store whenever he needed to buy something. The lavender-haired man has been living in Beppu for four years now but he didn’t really go out too far from his usual route. He’s pretty much an indoor man with indoor hobbies so he didn’t have many activities that called for his presence outdoors, even his job only required office activities. This is his first time in this part of the city. Tatsumi looked around and tried to remember the roads they were taking, wondering if he’d ever travel down these paths in the future.

              The trip had only just begun and Tatsumi was already surprised by how much he was warming up to the idea of a ride around the city on a motorcycle while sightseeing. The cool wind zipping past his skin while his world grew and expanded into places he rarely ever thought about, like the bounds of his world were being painted past the four quarters of the city that he knew. It was a new and interesting experience. The sun a warmth on his body, pleasant like an assurance that today would be a beautiful day and that he should enjoy this as much as he could. Tatsumi surmises that going out of his usual comfort zone like this once in a while was actually nice for a change.

              Meanwhile, Toujou was trying to ignore the way his heart sung a stuttering staccato against his chest, delighted by the closeness and warmth with Tatsumi holding him so tightly. The younger man barely suppressed the urge to lay a hand over Tatsumi’s entwined hands around his waist, a tactile reassurance that Toujou was here and that he would keep the other safe. Yet, Toujou held himself back, too intelligent to allow his emotions to get the best of him in this moment. As the minutes ticked by he felt Tatsumi relax and recline his head, away from the earlier cowering position where he hid behind Toujou’s back. Toujou assumes that his friend was taking in the sights by now and he couldn’t help feel a bit proud of Tatsumi’s bravery, no matter how miniscule it seemed in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day Tatsumi was trying something new, something he hasn’t experienced before, and he was being brave by even agreeing to open himself up to new experiences. Toujou hopes Tatsumi was enjoying the trip.

              Pretty soon they come upon their first stop which was at a roadside restaurant. Toujou smoothly pulled into the parking lot and carefully maneuvered the motorcycle into a perfect stop at a parking spot.

              “We’re here!” Toujou exclaimed, stabilizing the bike and removing his helmet. The rush from a bike ride still flowing in his veins. He missed driving his bike. But even in his excitement he didn’t forget to make sure that the bike was steady while Tatsumi disembarked. Toujou only got off the motorcycle after his friend was safely on the ground.

              Tatsumi took the helmet off and looked around. The restaurant appeared to be one of those traditional homes that got transformed into a commercial space. It still had the traditional Japanese tiled rooftop which had tiles that were obviously manually installed one by one, its cream-colored walls contrasted with the dark wooden posts giving it a delicate hue. It looked like any other Japanese house in the countryside aside from the fact that it was clearly a restaurant with a menu posted in front of the door, encouraging guests to enter. There was lush greenery around the building and parking lot, most of the plants seem to be allowed free growth with how wild and untamed their branches and leaves grew, definitely no strict landscaping applied to the shrubbery. That simply added to the charm of the place in Tatsumi’s opinion, it boosted the essence of an old traditional home and it was appealing.

              “How did you find a place like this?” Tatsumi asked Toujou as he followed his friend into the establishment.

              “I came across it online when I was helping one of our clients find a restaurant they could partner up with to cater to an event which had foreign guests coming in. This place caught my eye and so I suggested it to the client. It has enough positive reviews but the client ended up choosing a different restaurant.” Toujou picked one of the tables located beside a window so they could enjoy the view while the had their brunch. He took his seat and waited for Tatsumi to be seated before continuing, “I wanted to give this place a try so I added it to the itinerary for today.”

              Tatsumi nodded along to the information, only to pause a few seconds later when Toujou mentioned an itinerary.

              “Itinerary? What’s that for?”

              “For the outing today of course! We are celebrating our work accomplishments after all, this is for both of us as work partners.” Toujou gave Tatsumi one of his bright smiles. “I wanted to make the most out of this day as much as possible.

              Tatsumi bit the inside of his cheek, feeling a bit caught off guard by the revelation but also feeling flattered for the effort given. “I see. So I’m taking a guess that you won’t be telling me what the rest of the itinerary is?”

              “You’ve guessed correctly.” Toujou’s expression is a pleased smile, like a cat that caught the canary.

              And although, Tatsumi was curious he held his tongue, allowing Toujou to take the reigns of today’s plans. Instead he switched topic. “Have you looked into their menu here?”

              “Not much, I wanted us to both be surprised with their meals.” Toujou took the menu that was placed at the side of the table and started flipping through the pages. Tatsumi followed suite.

              “I think I’ll order their most ordered dish, Meal Set C. How about you Tatsumi-san?”

              “I’ll get Set A.”

              “Alright.” Toujou stood up. “Allow me to go put in our orders and don’t forget today is my treat so let me know if you have any additional orders later.” He intelligently left before Tatsumi could squeeze a protest in.

              Tatsumi watched with mixed exasperation and amusement as his friend went to order their food. He couldn’t find it in himself to think of a complaint nor fight against the offer because it would feel like he’d be stepping on Toujou’s good intentions, and that wasn’t what he wanted, not when it was clear that Toujou had done a lot of work to plan this outing. For all intents and purposes Tatsumi allowed Toujou to spoil him this time.

              When Toujou returned to their table looking much too smug, Tatsumi stifled the roll of his eyes and started asking questions about the restaurant instead, just to have something to talk about while they waited for their orders.

              Toujou happily informed Tatsumi about what he managed to find out about the history of the restaurant. It started as a small family business that focused on making traditional Japanese dishes since their grandfather who had fallen ill was a big fan of traditional meals. At first they only catered to neighbors and close friends but pretty soon the restaurant slowly gained more and more attention. Business picked up and the restaurant had to employ additional people in order to keep up with the influx of customers. Luckily even if the restaurant got more well-known they stuck to their roots and continued to faithfully make traditional dishes instead of getting swept up into the commercialized way of modern gastronomic exploits.

              Tatsumi liked listening to Toujou speak when it was something the other man was clearly interested in, his voice gets a tad faster, and his facial expressions become more animated. It was nice listening and seeing Toujou get passionate about something as simple as a restaurant’s history.

              After twenty minutes of discussions their orders arrived. Toujou had the dango soup set meal with chicken tempura. Tatsumi got the dumpling soup set meal with chicken katsu and red bean paste mochi on the side. From the first bite they each took, the men locked eyes and immediately knew that they had struck gold. The meals were delicious, each dish and mouthful of food were rich with taste and succulent mouthwatering flavor.

              “Amazing choice in picking this place Toujou-kun. Good work.” Tatsumi comfortably praised the other after their meal, pleasantly satisfied with the food.

              Toujou felt a big swell of pride in his chest at the given compliment. It’s not often that Tatsumi gives a word of praise after all. Funny enough Toujou thought the situation was like that of a dog which managed to please their owner and was super happy about it. Toujou decidedly chose to ignore that description for his sake and settled on enjoying the happy feeling while it was here.

              After they were rested and well hydrated the two men get back on the bike, heading to the next destination. This time Tatsumi was more comfortable during the ride, he knew where to place his hands and how to relax into the seat to take the tension off his back and shoulders. Now that Toujou had shown him his capabilities as a responsible driver Tatsumi felt safe enough to let go of his previous worries and to trust in his friend.

              Toujou was having the time of his life. They followed the itinerary as he had written it, from admiring the humble beauty of Kifune Castle where they took pictures and appreciated the history of the place; to the winding roads that took them through quiet hills and the peaceful suburbs; until the wide parks where they took a break to take a stroll and enjoy some snacks from the stall vendors.

              Eating food, traveling to places they’ve never been to, and trying new things together, Toujou couldn’t have expected a better outing with his friend. Seeing Tatsumi smile, drinking a cool can of lemon soda, while the golden, red, and brown autumn leaves fell around them made this trip more than worth it, a core memory adding onto the ever-growing album that was his life. Toujou doesn’t think he will ever forget this moment.

              “Hey let’s take a picture!” Tatsumi suggested as he pulls the younger man to the park center where there was a lovely marble fountain in the shape of a flying bird bursting out from a lake with a splash of water carved beautifully around it. “This is the perfect spot.”

              Since Toujou was the taller one between the two of them he took out his phone and took the picture of the two of them posing in front of the fountain. “And done.” Toujou showed the picture to Tatsumi and the older man took a single glance at it before snorting lightly.

              “What?” Toujou asked in curiosity, looking at the picture to see if anything was wrong with how it looked.

              Tatsumi waved his hand. “Don’t mind it. It’s nothing. I’m just surprised at how photogenic you are without even trying. Anyway, don’t forget to send me the pictures ok?” Then the lavender haired man quickly moved on to see the rest of what the park had to offer. Toujou followed close behind with a fond smile.

-=-=-=-

              Okamotoyo was the next restaurant they went to for dinner, they’ve been traveling for the entire day and it was already 5 pm. This restaurant offered meals and they have a hot spring as well as rooms that provided overnight stays. Since they weren’t staying long the two men decided to enjoy the meals offered over a long conversation of the locations they’ve passed and the other things they’ve seen along the way. Toujou pointed out which businesses they had encountered at work when they passed them during the trip while Tatsumi showed Toujou all the pictures he’s been taking during their trip.

              “That was satisfying. The udon here is great and the mochi has strawberries in it too.” Tatsumi comments with satisfaction, polishing the last of his drink. He gives a deep sigh and pats his belly. “So are we going home after this?”

              Toujou who had been lost in thought, staring outside the window, blinked out of the silence and shook his head at Tatsumi. “Not just yet. I have one last place in mind.”

              “Really?” Tatsumi reclined in his seat, he tilted his head to the side slightly. “Do you want to tell me where it’s at?”

              A small smile plasters itself on Toujou’s lips. “No. It’s my final surprise for you today.”

              Tatsumi heaves a sigh but not out of annoyance or anything negative, it was more of an ‘of-course-you-would’ sigh than anything else. “Ok Toujou, you’re the headmaster in all this so I trust in your capabilities.”

              “I’m flattered Tatsumi-san.” Toujou had a teasing note in his voice which Tatsumi returns easily.

              “As you should be.”

-=-=-=-

              “Here?!” Tatsumi’s voice echoed loud into the open air as he gingerly got off the bike and took off his helmet, mouth open with straight up shock at the view in front of them.

              Jumonji Viewpoint is an observation deck located in Aomori and it’s a popular destination in Beppu. It overlooks the green mountains, flowing hills, and grassy valleys into the populous seaside towns and buildings dotting along the coasts. And as well as the expansive ocean that sparkled under the reds, oranges, and pinks of the sunset that was currently happening. Tatsumi had only known of this spot through it coming up during work now and then, it was a client favorite for tourists. He didn’t think it was a big deal then but now that he was here in person he understands why so many people wanted to visit. He gazed at the horizon where the sun was slowly sinking into the waters, painting everything with the rays of it’s warmth like a final hug to the land before night time took its place. Having run out of words to describe the awe he felt, Tatsumi allowed himself to bask in the silence and to appreciate the beauty of nature for what it was.

              Toujou was standing beside him but instead of the scenic view his eyes were drawn to the person beside him, an emotion he was familiar with growing within his chest, heart beating with a tune he has known before. Toujou sees the absolute wonder in Tatsumi’s dark eyes where they sparkle like starlight in the depths of space. The various unique colors of the sunset shower around him like golden glittering rays of concentrated sun. The sunlight kissed his skin so gently that Tatsumi appeared like an ethereal being blessed by the yellow star. And when Tatsumi turned to give Toujou the biggest and happiest smile he’s seen so far the curtain gets ripped from the windows that Toujou had tried to keep covered within him, and the truth came to light, no longer hidden in the shadows of murky doubt and denial.

              It isn’t infatuation. Not at all.

              Toujou realizes that he really was slowly and surely falling for his coworker, neighbor, and friend. Surprisingly, Toujou isn’t ashamed, nor scared, nor worried about the revelation because he knows he’s not a teen anymore. This time he was an adult and with his past experiences he can use those life lessons to get through this. For now, he holds on to the warm feeling that is invoked within him whenever he spends time with Tatsumi like this. There was no rush for anything at all. He didn’t have to confess or anything as drastic as that so suddenly. He didn’t have to pressure himself into pursuing a relationship even if he does like Tatsumi. Because the crux of it all was that he likes where they are now and he wanted to take his time with these developing feelings while also treasuring the friendship he has with Tatsumi.

              Toujou was content with accepting his feelings as they are, not denying himself from the truth, but he was also content with waiting for now. He can wait and see how these feelings develop and he knows the younger version of him might disagree with that decision. Younger Toujou would’ve told him to shoot his shot and not let the opportunity pass. But Toujou was not a teenager anymore, he wasn’t as reckless nor impulsive when it came to romantic feelings. Especially considering his past experience with Ayato, Toujou knew that the reality of romance wasn’t as simple as a bed of roses where nothing went wrong. Tatsumi was important to him, and in order to make sure that he wasn’t rushing anything nor getting ahead of himself Toujou wants to give himself more time to think about it and to consider things before making any final decisions concerning his feelings towards Tatsumi. And Toujou finds that he was perfectly ok with that.

              He returns the smile with as much affection as he could towards Tatsumi, watching the sun completely set behind the lavender-haired man, pouring its final rays at the perfect time to allow Toujou a magical moment where Tatsumi was engulfed in beautiful sunlight with a smile that was directed right at the younger man.

              Seeing Tatsumi so happy was worth everything.

              Toujou wishes this day would never end.

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              After their day out together the friendship between the two men gets incrementally closer. It’s not a big obvious change but it is akin to glacial movement, small at first but the effects will be seen after some time. All the while they continue with their hobbies that they do together, scheduling their gym sessions and culinary pursuits per week. They take breaks when needed or for any reason at all, like when their schedule gets too busy or if they had something come up that needed to be dealt with. They’re not overly strict with the schedules, mostly approaching it with the lax attitude of going with the flow. It works well for working adults such as themselves.

-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi already knew that Toujou wasn’t a person who took pictures of things that much unless it involved his beloved pet dog, Omochi. Still he knows his friend had been forced to take pictures during their recent trip around Beppu because of Tatsumi’s insistence. The blond had sent him the pictures from his phone and Tatsumi had compiled those with his own photo collection from the trip. He went out of his way to get those pictures developed and he bought an album just so that he could place those pictures in it.

              In the past Tatsumi didn’t bother with pictures like this. But since the day he had moved away from home he wishes he had taken more pictures with his family, friends, and his favorite places before he left. When he started living by himself it was difficult to not be reminded of how quiet his apartment was nor was it easy to get past the initial homesickness. He had combatted it with frequent calls to his family and yes, even his snippy little brother joined in the calls even if he acted like he’d rather not be there. During that time of learning to adjust to life away from family, Tatsumi started to realize that he wanted to remember experiences even through simple photos, and though taking pictures with a phone was convenient Tatsumi figured out that he loved having physical albums more.

              And so Tatsumi added this new album of his trip with Toujou into his current collection, an album carrying the memories with a friend that he would look back on.

              Bit by bit through the coming months that album would fill up with a variety of pictures that even Toujou himself would take. These were mostly pictures of them at the end of each outing or activity they had done together.

-=-=-[On a random work day]-=-=-

              The rainy season has arrived, unfortunately Tatsumi has been caught unawares and now he’s standing outside at the entrance of the building sans an umbrella. He had forgotten it at home and he wasn’t keeping up with the weather reports lately. The sky had looked clear this morning though, how could he have known that it would rain today?

              Tatsumi sighs, watching as the water pouring from the sky through a million drops continues to wet the location before him. Unluckily for him most of his co-workers had already gone home by this time so he didn’t have anyone he could ask an umbrella from. Shou would’ve probably let Tatsumi borrow his umbrella while he shared Kazuki’s as they flirted under the rain using one umbrella as couples usually do. Tatsumi snorts at the image his brain supplied at that thought.

              He could run to the nearest bus stop to wait for a taxi but with a sudden downpour like this he’s sure the place would be swamped with people who were in the same situation as him. Plus, he had papers with him that were important enough not to risk getting water damage. Should he wait it out until the rain stops?

              Someone takes a stop beside him and Tatsumi jumps a little when the person speaks.

              “The rain’s heavy today isn’t it?”

              Tatsumi whips his head and sees his friend beside him, he tries not to curse aloud at being surprised by the out of the blue appearance. “Toujou-kun? I thought you already went home earlier?”

              “Ah I did clock out earlier. But Yuta, from the Visual Department, asked me to help him with something.”

              Tatsumi gave him a flat look. “So you stayed late to help him.” It wasn’t a question but rather a statement.

              Toujou didn’t buckle under the judging stare, he already got an earful from his friend about his habit of overworking plenty of times before. “It was for a favor.” He swiftly changed topics. “Anyway, why are you here Tatsumi-san? Isn’t it thirty minutes past the end of shift? I would’ve assumed you’d already be home by now.”

              This time it was Tatsumi’s turn to be questioned but the older man quickly turned away. He mumbled something under his breath.

              Toujou stepped closer. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

              “I said, I forgot to bring my umbrella.” Tatsumi felt his cheeks burn at the admission for whatever reason. It’s not like it was an uncommon situation, plenty of people forget their umbrellas. So why did he feel embarrassed?

              “We can share mine.” Toujou easily offered.

              Tatsumi shook his head. “No. It’s fine. I’ll just wait it out-“

              The rain instantly fell harder, the chorus of water hitting pavement and the buildings nearly deafening, and both men stared at the deluge with comically blank stares. The timing was impeccable.

              Toujou cleared his throat. “You were saying?”

              The older man sighs and gives in. “Alright. Fine.”

              Toujou brought out his foldable umbrella from his bag and opened it. The deep blue umbrella was wide enough for both of them to fit under it, although they had to be pressed shoulder-to-shoulder. Neither of them pointed out the close distance. As the taller of the two, Toujou was the one who held the umbrella over them. Together they walk to the train station in comfortable silence.

              Standing this close together, Toujou notices something new, Tatsumi smelled faintly of lavenders.

              ‘Just like his hair color,’ Toujou thought to himself with interest.

              On the other hand, Tatsumi was wondering of people were able to grow even after they reached 18 years of age. Wasn’t it normal to stop growing by then? Why did it feel like Toujou had grown even taller since the last time Tatsumi had paid attention to his friend’s height? Why are the younger people getting taller and taller with each new generation? What’s up with that?! Where was his growth spurt? This was just unfair.

              Unconsciously, Tatsumi was feeling some of the rain splash onto his shoulder so he pressed even closer towards Toujou too deep in thought to notice what he was doing. The closeness made Toujou smile, allowing it without comment.

              The rain continued to fall, dousing the landscape with a lullaby of rainfall and lightly rumbling thunder while two friends silently headed home together.

-=-=-[A random weekend]-=-=-

              Movies weren’t much of Toujou’s interest. But Tatsumi had been talking about having a movie marathon to shake up their routine once in a while, he suggested doing one during a Saturday night. Both of them would choose movies to add to the list until they had a set number which they both agreed on.

              It took a week for them to agree to a list with ten movies, five suggested movies by both of them. When the movie marathon day came up they chose Toujou’s place, because according to Tatsumi the younger man’s couch was softer. Now they were sitting at opposite ends of the couch, comfortable with their own chosen snacks. For the first movie they decided on the horror movie called ‘Holes in the Walls.’ Toujou had seen a trailer of it once and it was interesting enough for him to consider suggesting it to the list.

              As Toujou had guessed the movies’ plot was indeed interesting enough to hold his attention for around half-way through the movie. Beatrice, the star of the show, was about to unlock a secret door which the ghost had led her to, the door had been there since she arrived and it was never opened until that following scene of course. Toujou was watching closely before slight movement from his right caught his attention. Subtly he takes a glance and sees that Tatsumi was quietly shoveling popcorn into his mouth with a pinched expression. The older man looked a bit constipated for a lack of a better description, Toujou hadn’t seen that expression on Tatsumi’s face since they were younger.

              Toujou debated if he should say anything but after a few minutes of no changes he decides to pause the movie.

              “Are you alright Tatsumi-san?”

              Tatsumi blinks at the interruption, a single popcorn halfway into his mouth. He chews the popcorn and quickly replies. “I’m fine. Why’d you pause?”

              “Oh it’s because you looked like you’re not liking the movie.” Toujou adjusted his position so he could face his friend. “Your face seemed um- angry or annoyed somehow.”

              Tatsumi blinked in surprise before breaking out in a small fit of laughter. “I’m sorry. I just-“ He paused to catch his breath. “I’m fine, I was just lost in thought. The movie is alright, I don’t mind it.”

              Tatsumi didn’t have the heart to tell Toujou that the movie reminded him of his past experiences with ghosts, and that it was the memories that were making him annoyed. To be fair he had spent way too much money funding ghost “exterminators” and he hasn’t seen a yen of that back or even a customer discount considering how much he availed their services, ungrateful bastards. But Toujou’s concern genuinely made Tatsumi feel touched that his friend was kind enough to check in with him. Tatsumi did his best to assure his friend that he was truly alright. And before the movie resumed, Tatsumi scooted closer to Toujou so they could have short commentaries while watching.

              Tatsumi wouldn’t admit that he closed the distance just to make Toujou smile.

-=-=-[Another random work day]-=-=-

              The shower stopped working…

              Tatsumi stared at the shower head where a pitiful number of droplets escaped, not even numerous enough to be called a trickle of water. It was 6:30 AM on a work day and he had only started getting ready when he came across the current problem. What kind of misfortune was this? He knew it wasn’t a water supply issue because he used the sink earlier and it was spouting out water without a problem.  Annoyed, Tatsumi tried turning the shower on and off again, but still no rush of water came forth. He supposes he could try to gather water from the sink and use that but that would take too long, he would end up becoming late for work.

              Lamenting the terrible start to his week, Tatsumi quickly brainstormed for a solution and luckily something came to mind almost instantly.

              Tatsumi put on his clothes again before heading to his bedroom to retrieve his phone. He dialed a number and waited for someone to pick up. Conveniently, he didn’t have to wait long until the call was answered.

              “Hello?”

               “Good morning Toujou-kun. Sorry to bother you so early in the morning but there’s something wrong with my shower, there’s water but the showerhead won’t let out any. I can’t get it fixed today. Could I perhaps use your shower?”

              “Sure.” The answer was quick. “I don’t mind at all. I just finished taking a shower earlier so you can have one now.”

              Relieved, Tatsumi gave his thanks to his friend. “Thank you Toujou-kun. You’re a life saver. I’ll be there in a moment.”

              He swiftly gathered the things he needed. Racing against the clock, Tatsumi rushed to Toujou’s apartment and knocked. The door opened after the second knock.

              “Hi, come on in.” Toujou made way for Tatsumi to enter after the warm greeting.

              “Thanks, I owe you one!” Tatsumi rushes to say as he makes a beeline to the shower.

              “Careful! The floor is still wet!” Toujou yelled, feeling a little amused at how much Tatsumi was flustered. Seeing that he was already dressed and ready for work, instead of waiting in silence Toujou decided to contact the landlord to see if there was anything that could be done.

              By the time Tatsumi had finished with the shower and he was dressed in his work uniform, Toujou had finished speaking to the landlord about the issue.

              “The landlord says the showerhead might need to be replaced, he can send someone to look at it this evening. You can contact him to set an exact time for it.” Toujou explained.

              “Wow, you didn’t have to do all that. Thanks for all the help Toujou-kun. I’ll send the landlord the details during break later, for now I need to get my things before we turn up late.”

              “No problem. And of course, I’ll wait for you.”

              It was no secret that they still went to work together in the mornings so Tatsumi nodded and dashed back to his room. “I won’t take long.”

              Toujou as always waited with patience and understanding, after all he loved travelling to work with Tatsumi.

-=-=-[On a random weekend]-=-=-

              This Sunday came around without much fanfare, it was one of the free days where Tatsumi had nothing planned and he might be regretting not scheduling something, just a little bit. He had just finished eating breakfast and had cleaned the apartment, right now he was lounging around in the living room doing nothing. Today was his birthday, he was contemplating if he should be doing something for it. It’s of no surprise that he only recently realized that he hasn’t celebrated his birthday ever since he left home. Not the usual celebrations of small parties with family dinner and a cake at home, he didn’t have that luxury since he chose to live alone. And after a life so focused on avoiding flags, nonstop working, and two failed relationships, Tatsumi is faced with the reality that he actually does want to celebrate his birthday now, but he doesn’t have his family here to celebrate it with him. The feeling of loneliness starts to creep in once more as he stares at the thin album on the shelf that carried his small collection of family photos.

              It’s not like people don’t greet him on his birthday. His parents, past college friends, some co-workers, and even his little brother Ayato sent him birthday greetings through chat or text. And he’s thankful for it, really he is, but sometimes he misses peoples’ presence. Just spending time with the people he cares about, them being in the same room as him, and having face to face conversations instead of through a screen would be nice…

              Ok, now he’s feeling even more miserable. Should he go out and take a walk? Clear his mind or something like that.

              A knock from his front door takes him out of the thoughts he was starting to get lost in. Confused, Tatsumi tried to remember if he had ordered anything that needed delivery, but he came up blank. So if it wasn’t a delivery, who was at the door?

              Since he was unsure, Tatsumi looked through the peephole and he relaxed when he saw that it was Toujou. He opened the door.

              “Hey Toujou-kun, what brings you over?”

              “I came here to greet my friend ‘Happy Birthday’ of course.” Toujou brought out a box from behind him along with a bag that was filled with stuff that Tatsumi couldn’t identify. The younger man gave a smile and a firm greeting. “Happy Birthday Tatsumi-san!”

              For a solid moment Tatsumi was completely caught by surprise that he froze, eyes wide and stuck staring at his friend in total disbelief. But he managed to get a hold of himself quickly although he felt his eyes start to sting a bit, how odd.

              “T-Toujou-kun, these are-“ Tatsumi took the bag that was extended towards him and peered inside, there were a bunch of gifts. “For me?”

              The older man’s tone was so soft and so full of borderline incredulity that Toujou felt his chest ache at the implications of Tatsumi’s reaction. Still he uses a gentle tone when replying, “Yes Tatsumi-san. I knew today was your birthday so I prepared something to celebrate it with you.” But then blue eyes look at the other with deeper consideration. “Unless you had something planned and I’m unfortunately being a party crasher?”

              That got Tatsumi breaking out into chuckles, dispelling the previous expressions. “No, no, nothing like that. This is- I’m- I was surprised.” Tatsumi’s eyes softened and he gestures for Toujou to come inside.

              When they get to the living room and Toujou carefully placed the box on the coffee table, Tatsumi explained, “I actually had nothing planned so when you appeared I didn’t know what to make of it.”

              “All I’m hearing is that I have perfect timing.” Toujou says with an easy smile as they both take a seat at the couch.

              “Normally I would refute that but this time I have to agree.” Tatsumi made a show of having to concede. Then he eyes the box on the table. “What did you bring?”

              “Cake.” Toujou unraveled the red ribbon and opened the plain white box, revealing a beautiful one-tier strawberry cake. The cake was round and topped with delicate swirls of vanilla frosting, decorated with a generous amount of strawberries and blueberries, with a small card left beside the cake containing the golden letterings of ‘Happy Birthday Tatsumi-san!’.

              The moment Tatsumi saw the dessert he knew it was handmade by Toujou and he felt his chest ache with a new emotion, a mixture of nostalgia, longing, and gratefulness. Seeing the cake reminded him of the times when he would celebrate his birthday with family and they would have cake…just like this. He knew his eyes were probably watery right now but Tatsumi couldn’t just keep quiet. Holding tears at bay as best as he could, Tatsumi gave his friend his heartfelt thanks. “Toujou-kun I- I don’t know what to say, this is all so- so thoughtful, thank you.”

              Seeing Tatsumi’s expression made Toujou want to wrap him into a tight embrace, the thought that no one had done something appreciative for his friend for an undeterminable amount of time left him feeling crushed, but he held off and offered to go get their plates. “It’s the least I could do for your birthday Tatsumi-san. I’ll go get the plates.”

              While Toujou headed to the kitchen Tatsumi happily took pictures of the cake in different angles, smiling brightly, the earlier feelings of loneliness slowly replaced by comfort and delight.

              Toujou comes back with plates, forks, a knife, and a small candle holder that had a simple unlit white candle.

              “Where’d you even get that candle holder? I distinctly remember not having any of that around here.”

              Toujou explained as he set up the table, smoothly procuring a lighter from his pocket and lighting the candle which he positioned beside the cake. “I brought it with me. After all you’ll need a candle to make a wish.”

              In years past Tatsumi would’ve called the act of blowing out candles during a birthday as something only for kids but as he watches the candlelight flicker and illuminate the quaint space Toujou prepared for him, Tatsumi can’t help but feel sentimental for the act. After all it’s been such a long time since he celebrated his birthday like this.

              Suddenly the familiar tune of a song starts with Toujou singing charmingly, voice smooth like melted chocolate carrying the music so sublimely. Toujou was singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Tatsumi. Touched and not knowing what else to do, Tatsumi started recording a video, wanting to cherish this moment through visual media, something he knows he could look back on even ten years from now. Not minding the camera on him, Toujou continues to sing until the end of the song and Tatsumi closes his eyes, making a wish that he’d only thought of at this moment, but realizes that it is something he wants very much.

              I wish for this friendship with Toujou to continue. I wish for us to keep enjoying each other’s company like this.

              After silently thinking of the wish out loud, Tatsumi blows out the candle, the fire goes out and with it comes Toujou’s enthusiastic clapping. “Happy 26^th Birthday Tatsumi-san!”

              The older man returned the smile given to him with a delicate look in those dark eyes, though he doesn’t say anything specifically at that moment, but he does laugh when Toujou says, “Cake time!”

              The younger man hands the knife over to Tatsumi while Toujou sets aside the candleholder. Usually Tatsumi would be talking about a random topic to fill the empty air, but the moment was so nice that he couldn’t bring himself to break the silence just yet. Instead he carefully cuts into the cake, noticing that Toujou was taking a video of him this time. He cut two slices of cake and put them on individual plates, giving the other to Toujou. They enjoy the dessert with much gusto.

              “This is sublime. You really outdid yourself Toujou-kun.”

              “How did you know that I made that cake?”

              Tatsumi’s lip quirked up in a smile. “The way you piped on the frosting is what gave it away. Each swirl is just so perfect they all swirl up towards the upper right. Your attention to detail is unmatched.”

              Toujou felt his cheeks flush at the praise. “You think so?”

              “Yeah. We’ve been baking together for a while and you rarely finish a cake unless you’re sure it was up to your standards.”

              With the double reassurance Toujou felt even more glad about the decision he made to create Tatsumi’s birthday cake himself. “I’m so glad you like the cake Tatsumi-san.”

              “It’s great, I appreciate you making it and bringing it over. Ah, let me go make us some tea. I just bought a new type of tea from the market, I saw videos on it and it looked worth a try.”

              Within several minutes Tatsumi had brewed the tea, bringing two mugs full of it for them both, and it had a particular fruity floral scent. Toujou noticed as soon as he took his cup and gave it a quick whiff.

              “Is that a type of fruit I’m smelling?”

              “Sharp as always, it’s pomegranate tea. According to the shop keep it’s imported from Malaysia.”

              “It smells wonderful.” Toujou took a sip and nods. “It tastes good too.”

              “I’m glad you think so.”

              They enjoy they tea for a bit before Toujou comes up with an idea. “Do you want to watch a movie? I figured we could enjoy our snacks while we watch something.”

              “Great thinking Toujou-kun.” Tatsumi took the remote and turned on the TV, quickly going to Netflix and scrolling through the options. “Got any suggestions?”

              “Hmm not right now but- Oh how about that one?” Toujou points to one of the movies currently on screen. “Bottom left on the third row, the one with a bear wearing a hat.”

              “Paddington? I don’t think I’ve seen the trailer of that.”

              “I’ve only seen one trailer for it. It doesn’t seem to be anything related to horror or suspense. Some comments said it’s a good family movie.” Toujou explained, going off of what he could remember from the top of his head.

              “Sure, let’s give it a try.”

              They both made themselves comfortable on the couch before starting the movie.

-=-=-=-

-=-=-=-

              Initially Tatsumi had guessed that it would be a good lighthearted movie, and he was right in some ways. But neither one expected Toujou to be shedding tears by the end of the movie. Tatsumi had silently slid a box of tissues on the table for Toujou to use as needed.

              Toujou took the tissues with an embarrassed laugh, quickly dabbing at his tears as the credits rolled. “Ah sorry about this Tatsumi-san. How embarrassing.”

              “It’s not embarrassing.”

              “…pardon?”

              “I said it’s not embarrassing.” Tatsumi had no trouble repeating himself. “What is there to be embarrassed about? You saw a movie that resonated with you deep enough to pull a genuine reaction from you. I think that’s something worth cherishing.” There was no jokes or teasing tone in Tatsumi’s voice as he said this. His expression held complete seriousness even as he shoved a forkful of cake into his mouth afterwards.

              Toujou dried his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right Tatsumi-san.” After a bit of silence which Toujou used to compose himself so that he wasn’t totally sobbing, the younger man continued their conversation. “I suppose I connected with Paddington more than I thought I would. He left his home behind along with everything he knew in order to find a connection to his past that was tied to his family. A little brave bear experiencing loneliness and rejection in a foreign land, repeatedly, where at one point he begins to think that there isn’t a home for him in that new place he gave everything to move to. And yet in the end he had found them. A home. A family.”

              Toujou smiles as he picks at the dessert in front of him with the fork, a wistful expression on his face. “A home that you can call your own… Wouldn’t that be nice?”

              Tatsumi chewed on his mouthful of cake, considering his friend’s words. “That would be nice. It goes to show that in the end we’re all just beings wanting to find our home in this big wide world.”

              “Yeah.” Toujou’s eyes linger on Tatsumi, words floating to the forefront of his mind as he stared at the man beside him.

              I want you to be my home.

              But he kept those words to himself, locked away carefully into the chest within his mind that was filled with all things related to his most precious friend.

              “Isn’t it time to open presents?” Toujou suggested as they finished their current slices of cake and he turned off the TV.

              “Oh right.” Being reminded of the gifts, Tatsumi gets the bag that was set aside earlier and starts laying down the wrapped items between them on the couch. There were three rectangular packages with different heights and width, each with their own beautiful birthday wrapper of red, gold, and light blue. Tatsumi opens the golden gift first and is pleasantly surprised to see a first edition release of the new volume of the manga he was currently reading.

              “How did you even get this?” Tatsumi was in awe. “The official release is supposed to be two months away from now.” He quickly but carefully opens the book and is absolutely stumped into shock when he sees the author’s signature right on the front page. “How?!”

              The younger man was more than pleased with Tatsumi’s reaction, but he had to keep his secrets safe. Toujou cheekily put a finger in front of his lips and winked. “It’s a secret Tatsumi-san. But do continue opening your other presents before we get distracted.”

              Tatsumi was too shocked to rebut so he instinctively followed the suggestion. But in his excitement he opened the next two gifts in quick succession, one was a brand new photo album with a cat pattern on the cover and the second gift was a generous amount of cat stickers a compilation of different cat stickers of all shapes and sizes, from real pictures to cute illustrations. Tatsumi couldn’t contain the excitement and he surprisingly pulled Toujou in for a tight hug.

              “Thank you so much Toujou-kun! I can’t put to words just how much I appreciate all this but I- Oh-“ Tatsumi belatedly notices that he had Toujou wrapped in his arms and he quickly remedies this by letting go immediately. “I’m so sorry that wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking and-“

              Tatsumi was rendered speechless when this time it was Toujou who had pulled him into a warm embrace, allowing Tatsumi to rest his head on his chest. “It’s perfectly fine Tatsumi-san. I’m glad you like my gift. Happy birthday.”

              And instead of fighting against the hold, Tatsumi reacted in a way that wasn’t typical of him, perhaps it was because of all the years of loneliness or because he had his guard down, but for once Tatsumi wasn’t against a hug from another man. He melts against the warmth that Toujou willingly provided and he felt the unknowing ache around his chest loosen like an untied knot of rope. Again Tatsumi is starting to realize that perhaps he wasn’t as alone as he thought he was.

              Somehow this warmth reminded him of home.

              After that day Tatsumi’s stuff was filled with cat stickers and almost everyone in the office was talking about it, meanwhile Toujou remained silent about the matter. The younger man was inwardly preening at how much his gifts were loved and valued enough to be put on such blatant display.

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              The funny thing about time, a manmade concept which could measure the smallest millisecond to a millennium and more, is that the perception of its flow is dependent on the person giving their observation on the matter. A young child stuck in class would swear that 60 minutes felt like months, meanwhile adults on their much needed vacation would complain that a week flew by within seconds, leaving them wanting for more time to enjoy themselves. Toujou and Tatsumi’s friendship could fall under the latter experience since within the blink of an eye 2 years had already passed since Toujou moved to Beppu and joined the same company that Tatsumi worked at. Throughout those two years the two men slowly but surely saw their friendship bloom into a metaphorical garden filled with flowers, the flowers being the experiences they shared with each other and this garden was no doubt filled. Aside from discovering things from each other’s pasts and getting to know the other better as adults, they have also started making new memories together, steadily filling up moments in each other’s lives, creating memories to be stored in brand new albums as captured snippets in this ever-surprising life.

              And although Toujou had decided for himself not to pursue the proclamation of his romantic feelings to Tatsumi, his feelings have predictably grown over the course of the time that passed. Toujou continues to see Tatsumi’s subtle but present kindness, his calming presence and relaxed demeanor in the way he approaches life and its problems, and most especially he’s grown more conscious of the moments where Tatsumi smiles. Toujou has noticed how the older man had no interest in grand or loud gestures of appreciation. Tatsumi didn’t like to stand out in any way and he was more content admiring things from the sidelines. Instead, the older man would smile more during quiet and simple moments like when he spent time together with Toujou while either watching a movie or trying something new like a sport he’s never tried before and exploring a different area in Beppu. Still, aside from Tatsumi’s happy moments Toujou was glad to be there to witness his sad, angry, and other negative moments too.

              There was a time when they both had to stay overtime for over two weeks continuously just to chase a looming deadline which required more work than they had anticipated. Tatsumi was obviously not happy about it. But during the long difficult hours neither of them quit until the work was finished. Toujou had been exposed to a sleep deprived, exhausted, and impatient Tatsumi, yet he couldn’t be happier. Because in that moment of hardship Toujou had experienced something new from his friend, Tatsumi had given Toujou his trust, something that wasn’t easy to get and was rarer than diamonds in Toujou’s honest opinion, especially since he knew Tatsumi as a very capable and independent person. Tatsumi, at his most exhausted, found the bravery and humility to ask Toujou for help with a specific task he couldn’t complete by himself, essentially trusting that Toujou would be able to give him the aid he was seeking. Toujou was over the moon. Tatsumi had trusted him enough to ask him for help directly and without the roundabout way of wording stuff that the older man usually did from time to time. It’s through experiences like that where Toujou falls further in love. Toujou discovers that the more he gets to see who Tatsumi is, with flaws and all of his natural self, the more he wants to be with the other.

              Silently, Toujou stared at his phone which was stuck on an article he attempted to read for the past twenty minutes, mind buzzing with thoughts of a man with lavender hair while he was lying in bed, waiting for sleep to come to him. Unfortunately, his reminiscing of the past two years and his friendship with Tatsumi had kept him up and his mind was in overdrive along with his heart which called out to Tatsumi, wishing to spend more time with the other man, more than they already have. Which was already a lot.

              There was a spot on his hand that burned with the lingering warmth of Tatsumi’s touch, because earlier Toujou had accidentally cut his finger while they were cooking and Tatsumi had reacted quickly to help stop the bleeding, he pulled a stunned Toujou to the sink where Tatsumi made the younger man put his hand under the running water to clean the cut. Then Tatsumi grabbed the first aid kit and helped dress Toujou’s wound. All throughout this circumstance Toujou had stared in awe at Tatsumi, chest swelling with affection for his friend. Truly Tatsumi was more caring than he let himself appear.

              I love him.

              Toujou temps down a groan that threatened to leave his mouth, the confusing mix of emotions in his chest not calming down one bit, the affection warring with his logical side.

              In the end Toujou turns his cellphone off and places it on the bedside drawer, he turns to stare at the ceiling instead, yet his mind’s trajectory hasn’t changed, still full of that lavender hair, a gentle smile, and that soothing voice.

              “I’m so fucked.” Toujou covered his face with his hands and lamented the state of his emotions, slightly feeling embarrassed with how strong his feelings for Tatsumi had grown in the past year.

              But there was a pang in his chest whenever he remembers that he can’t pursue Tatsumi. At least not yet, not when he wasn’t even sure if Tatsumi was interested in guys at all. He had tried to get the information from Tatsumi through questions like his past romantic experiences, if any, but Tatsumi had always dodged the question or he answered really vaguely without a clear answer. Toujou didn’t want to push so he dropped the topic whenever Tatsumi pulled away, still Toujou’s curiosity wasn’t quelled. The more he wondered about it the more uncertain Toujou became with where Tatsumi’s romantic interest leaned towards, which made Toujou even more unsure with his growing emotions.

              He was doing his best to be a good friend but he was also scared that at some point his feelings might start becoming obvious and that would make their friendship awkward. Toujou didn’t want that. His friendship with Tatsumi was so important to him, he didn’t want anything to tear them apart, not even his own feelings.

              And so, after another merry-go-round of contemplating his feelings, his friendship, and weighing the importance of both, Toujou was stuck at the same place where he started. Remaining as a friend who simultaneously wanted more but didn’t want to risk it. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, attempting to convince himself that it was better this way, that he should be satisfied with Tatsumi’s friendship. However, there was a bitter taste in the back of his mouth that Toujou couldn’t erase at the thought of pushing his feelings away again once more.

              It will just have to be like this, endure it Toujou.

              Endure it.

-=-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi was drying his hair and preparing for bed, sitting on the couch, when he started scrolling through his phone gallery while he absentmindedly towel-dried his hair. He had a lot of photos, but most of them were pictures of his outings with Toujou, at the gym, in their kitchens, at their office overtimes, and even during their rare hangouts scheduled around Beppu. He was looking at the pictures leisurely, more often than not laughing at some funny ones that he comes across now and then. There’s one where Toujou had accidentally tripped into a small puddle during a hike, looking back up at the camera with a laugh, eyes squinted, joy crinkling along the edges of them. There was another picture where Toujou had unfortunately been tackled to the ground by a stranger’s very friendly dog. The owner was trying in vain to pull the dog away while the excited husky slobbered all over Toujou’s face, giving him tender kisses that only the purest souls could give to strangers. Tatsumi could still recall the younger man’s raucous laughter and the way it was contagious enough that Tatsumi laughed along with his friend. Tatsumi lightly traced the picture with fondness in his eyes before moving on to the next.

              It wasn’t until he came upon a video from around two years ago that Tatsumi paused, noticing the smile he unconsciously wore right this second. The video was taken during the first birthday he had spent with Toujou, the blonde was singing the song ‘Happy Birthday’ all the while looking at the camera with such delicate features that reminded Tatsumi of films about charming princes and nobility. And that gaze was directed right at him. Out of the blue Tatsumi felt his heartbeat quicken, a faster tempo than normal that made his cheeks warm. His eyes fondly watched the person in the video, Toujou’s smile as bright and blinding as his golden hair and sapphire eyes. Dark eyes trail across fair skin, unblemished and perfect, until that keen gaze lands upon those lips which sung him that oh so clichéd song, suddenly a stray and wayward thought appears in Tatsumi’s mind, unbidden and completely unexpected.

              I wonder if Toujou’s lips would feel as soft as they look?

              Huh?

              Wait…

              What?

              “Happy 26^th Birthday Tatsumi-san!”

              Toujou’s voice echoing from the video snaps Tatsumi out of the momentary lapse of thought and the older man senses a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes what had happened, the flush lingering on his cheeks with his heart pounding harder with every second he stared at the person in the video.

              No, this can’t be real.

              Though he tries to deny it the symptoms don’t fade, the heat from his cheeks and the stuttering beats of his heart a loud sign, and not to mention the words from earlier had come from his own mind. There was no one else he could use to push the blame upon nor was there any media he could use as an excuse of topics messing up and mixing up his current line of thought. Those thoughts were from himself, there was no doubt about that. And this only made a revelation so groundbreaking that Tatsumi immediately threw the phone away from him as if it had burned him.

              The phone luckily lands on the other end of the couch, cushioned from the impact. But Tatsumi stares at it like it was at fault for his current situation.

              How could he have been so blind? How had he not noticed sooner??

              A lump forms in Tatsumi’s throat, the realization sunk in deeper, and the warmth he first felt at seeing all their pictures with Toujou turned into sharp cold ice which sat stoically in his stomach, sucking out all the heat and leaving him numb.

              Tatsumi then connects one more thread as his mind picks up like a whirlwind upon the plains. He doesn’t think about flags when he was with Toujou anymore.

              He had fucked up.

              He let his guard down.

              What should he do? Was there a firm flag raised between them now? Was it too late to pull it down? To destroy it? To cancel what has been started?

              Tatsumi doesn’t know, but the dread in his chest and stomach continues to grow and it makes him nauseous, tying knots in his stomach that wound tight and twisting.

              He doesn’t get any sleep that night.

-=-=-=-=-

              Morning came and Tatsumi awoke more tired than rested, but he had come up with a solution after staying up most of the night agonizing about his current predicament. Tatsumi had decided to ignore the flag. He reasons that since he didn’t even realize when the flag was raised and that nothing romantic had happened between him and Toujou so far, these were good enough proof that he didn’t need to do anything about the flag. Nothing had changed and so nothing will change. If he continues to treat their friendship as a normal friendship then they can continue as they are – being good friends.

              Perhaps Tatsumi was being contrary, but his shock of discovering the possibility of a flag between Toujou and him was overridden by the thought of having to cut off Toujou from his life. That was just not an option, not for Tatsumi, not when he’d found such a great friend in the younger man. No, he won’t let the possible flag take this friendship away from him. And he’ll do his best to keep things as is. Normal as ever.

              He can do this.

-=-=-=-=-

              It’s only the start of the work week, it’s Monday and there was plenty of work that needed to be done. Unfortunately, for Tatsumi he was falling behind with his work all because he was too keyed up, unable to relax as his focus kept getting shot down whenever Toujou entered his peripheral vision. It was stupid and the opposite of what he had decided to do. But he just couldn’t help it. The realization from last night appeared to open his eyes to the possibilities of a sparking romance between them and Tatsumi was suddenly becoming too conscious of Toujou, where the younger man was, the sound of his voice, and the way he interacted with his coworkers. More than once during this morning Tatsumi had caught himself staring at the other man absentmindedly and Toujou had caught him staring most times, the younger man had simply waved and gave Tatsumi a friendly smile. Tatsumi had done his best to wave back without appearing as tense as he felt.

              Lunch time rolled around and Tatsumi wasn’t even through half of his paperwork, he was contemplating skipping lunch in order to catch up when someone stopped by his desk. And the moment Tatsumi looked up the lump in his throat returned, rendering him speechless.

              “Ready to go Tatsumi-san?”

              “Go where?” Tatsumi stated dumbly, staring at Toujou like a deer caught in the headlights.

              Toujou blinked once with a scrunched expression, confused. “To lunch Tatsumi-san. Did you have somewhere else in mind?”

              Noticing his slip, Tatsumi tried to salvage the moment. “Ah right. I was too focused on work I didn’t realize it’s lunch time already. I’ll-“ Tatsumi paused, thinking about which route would be better to keep their friendship normal. Would it be better if he went to get lunch with Toujou or would staying in the office and catching up with work be more reasonable? Perhaps he was out of practice, it has been a long time since he even thought about flags and his constant risk assessment. Maybe suggesting their usual spot would be better? Or should he just order takeout and then continue working while eating lunch at the office, Toujou wouldn’t think that was too weird would he?

              Holy shit, has he always been punctilious with any interaction with other men who he could trigger flags with? It was exhausting and obnoxious. He doesn’t understand how he had kept up with this way of living life for years.

              “Tatsumi-san?”

              Toujou’s concerned voice pulls Tatsumi out of his head and back into the present.

              “Ah sorry about that. I was just thinking about work. But never mind that, let’s go get lunch. I’ll deal with it later.” Surprisingly listening to his instincts felt more natural compared to mulling over the tiniest detail before making a decision. Tatsumi’s response came easy when he’d just let things be and not overthink every small detail.

              When Tatsumi follows Toujou and they go enjoy lunch together Tatsumi momentarily forgets why he was fretting in the first place, their conversations flowed so comfortably like it has been for the past year. Tatsumi’s mind staying in the present as they talked about one topic or another while they ate.

It isn’t until they returned back to the office that Tatsumi remembers why he was off his rhythm this day. He also notices something he wasn’t aware of before, he felt way more relaxed spending time with Toujou than he had realized. No wonder he didn’t keep his guard around the younger man.

              I trust him.

              As the thought resounds like a gong in his mind, ringing and echoing so loudly, Tatsumi is left slack jawed, staring at his computer with a blank stare. How had their friendship gotten to this point that he hadn’t noticed how deep in the mud he was? Was this also the universe’s doing? A longer plotline that fell into the genre of a slow burn BL? How did he fall into this trap? He thought he was smarter than this… He is smarter than this.

              At least he thought he was.

              The knots in his stomach that had appeared the night before grow in number and Tatsumi is off worse than when he had woken up today.

-=-=-=-

              Throughout the remaining work hours Tatsumi had forced himself to stay focused on work, distracting himself from the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach and the ringing alarm in his head concerning a particular blonde. But even in his focused state, Tatsumi noticed how Kazuki was buzzing around the office with more excitement than usual. Tatsumi wasn’t one to poke his nose into anybody else’s business so he ignored Kazuki’s sudden hyper boost for the rest of the day as easy as he was ignoring his current personal situation.

              However, when the work day reached its end Tatsumi was taken aback when Kazuki had approached him first. Tatsumi was packing his things, preparing to go home since he was lucky enough to finish his workload for the day, and that’s when Kazuki dropped by his desk.

              “Ah excuse me for the interruption Tatsumi-san.” Oh Kazuki was using honorifics, this must be serious. “I’ve been waiting to talk to you since this morning.”

              “Eh? Why?” Tatsumi genuinely had no idea why Kazuki would need to talk to him, the things they worked on rarely had any overlaps.

              Kazuki beamed, his smile blinding as he procured a pristine white envelope from his suit pocket and held it out for Tatsumi to take, the younger man’s torso bent in a partial bow of respect. “It would be an honor for me to invite Tatsumi-san to Shou and I’s engagement celebration party that will be happening in two months’ time.”

              Once more something hits Tatsumi out of the blue without a warning, he never would’ve seen this coming. Tatsumi stares at the envelope with wide eyes, looking like he’d seen Kazuki grow two heads right in front of him. How were his coworkers already engaged when they had only been dating for two years?!

              “Engagement?” Tatsumi managed to squeak out, taking the letter with unsure hands.

              “Yes! Shou proposed to me a month ago and we decided to throw a celebration party with everyone we want to invite.” Kazuki exclaimed cheerfully. “Everyone in our department is invited!”

              “I see. Congratulations to you both.” Tatsumi managed to collect himself quick enough to come up with a polite response.

              Kazuki beamed brighter. “Thank you, Tatsumi-san! I’ll see you around then! Good work today!” Giddy with his successful mission, Kazuki bows and slips out of the office. Shou was probably waiting for him outside so the both of them could go home together.

              “Good work.” Tatsumi belatedly calls out, the door already sliding shut after Kazuki’s exit.

              In shock, Tatsumi couldn’t make complete sense of what had just happened, but he unconsciously opened the letter given to him even though he had meant to read it later. He gives it a quick read through and from the first glance nothing is out of the ordinary. It was your typical formal invitation, and Tatsumi had a feeling it was most likely written by Shou. That man always did have a way of writing things with a strict formality. But the next thing that did catch Tatsumi’s attention was that his name wasn’t the only one written on the letter.

              ‘We cordially invite ----- Tatsumi and Toujou Iori.’

              Why was the letter directed to both of them? Weren’t invitations like these normally personalized? It’s weird that Toujou was included in Tatsumi’s invite letter. Usually when that happens it’s for family or-

              “Is everything alright?” Toujou leaned over Tatsumi’s shoulder, curious and nosey, to peek at the letter that was taking Tatsumi’s attention. His eyebrows raise at what he reads. “Engagement party? Wow, I didn’t expect that so fast.”

              Tatsumi nearly jumps out of his skin when Toujou appeared out of nowhere, luckily he managed to reign in his surprise. Although he unconsciously makes some space between them as he turns to face his friend. “Yes, Kazuki just gave me their invitation letter. But it also has you as a recipient.”

              “Really? Huh, I wonder why they’d do that.”

              Toujou lied. Of course, he knew why.

              The whole office thought he and Tatsumi were together, like as a couple, despite neither of them saying so. Toujou himself noticed but he always brushed it off as idle office gossip and the rumors stopped before so he expected this to blow over as well. It wasn’t something he wanted to draw attention to anyway, and they weren’t a couple so going out of his way to clear the air from mere gossip would only put more unwanted attention on the topic, which is the complete opposite of what he wanted. People will believe whatever they wanted to believe anyway, humans are naturally obstinate like that. Toujou deemed it was best to let sleeping dogs lie.

              However, his decision to leave it alone only led to their officemates coming to their own conclusions without even clearing it up with either Toujou or Tatsumi, and now it has led to a bigger misunderstanding. But he can’t let this cause a problem between him and his friend.

              “Maybe they put work partners together in one letter? It helps save costs instead of printing out individual letters I suppose.” Toujou was pulling explanations out of his ass but he had to try to make a reasonable excuse for the blunder on Kazuki and Shou’s part.

              Tatsumi considered Toujou’s words and eventually nodded. He’s not entirely convinced but he didn’t want to overwork his already drained brain. “Yeah that could be it. That makes sense.”

              Glad that his made up reason was accepted, Toujou continued the conversation as if nothing was amiss. “When is the party scheduled?”

              “In two months. Around February, they’re smart to space it away from the big holidays.” Tatsumi showed the date on the invitation, mind calming down a bit from his earlier conundrum, deciding not to overthink a simple thing like a name on a piece of paper. Perhaps he was more tired than he thought, well he did miss a good night’s sleep yesterday. And all because he realized he liked-

              “Alright, are you ready to go home?” Tatsumi wouldn’t allow his thoughts to wander into that specific area again. Nope. Not today.

              “Yeah. Let’s go.”

              The two of them head home together with Tatsumi doing his best to act normal, trying not to let his intrusive thoughts affect his friendship. And thankfully it worked. Their conversations flowed as easily as it always had, although now Tatsumi began to notice more things about the other man that he didn’t pick up on before. He noticed how Toujou would always walk beside him but always taking the side of the pathways that was closer to the side of the passing cars, for the first few seconds Tatsumi was perplexed but when Tatsumi remembered why people do this, usually gentlemen, his eyes widened. Toujou was protecting him from possibly being clipped by cars or giving him more space from the roadway in case there would be any car related accidents that could happen. The younger man was keeping him safe in a subtle way. Tatsumi also noticed how Toujou would make sure that he was always by Tatsumi’s side especially a crowded train. As Tatsumi had the tendency to stand closer to the windows of the train car due to force of habit, Toujou would stand close to him, using his taller stature to block the crowd away from pushing too much into the older man. This way Tatsumi had breathing space and he wouldn’t smushed into the walls like he would usually be.

              And now that Tatsumi became aware of these he wonders if Toujou had been doing all these little things even before today. The thought only makes Tatsumi’s face burn with a flush so deep and warm, you’d think he was running a fever. Toujou has always been a gentleman, Tatsumi knew this since he first met the guy. But Tatsumi is finally experiencing what it feels like to be the focus of that attention, to be considered so effortlessly like it was no big deal, as if he deserved treatment so considerate and kind without making a big show of it. Like it was normal, and just what people should be doing.

              As the train doors open and Toujou offers his hand for Tatsumi to take, the older man doesn’t know why it’s so easy for him to accept the offer, placing his hand into Toujou’s own without hesitating. The moment skin touches skin Tatsumi feels his heart thunder loud and clear in his chest, like a roaring waterfall that rose over all the noise around them, drowning out the voices of the crowd and the sounds of trains moving against railways. Suddenly it felt like the world had shrunk into this pinpoint moment, exactly where their hands are connected, nothing else and no one else could break this bubble that formed around them. And once more Tatsumi is reminded that for all the things he continues to deny and reject within himself, with Toujou holding his hand like this, he can’t deny what he’s feeling any longer. The truth has been revealed to him and there’s no way to erase that. He truly has fallen for his friend.

              Cold hard stone forms within his gut, his stomach sinks, and the mixture of shame and guilt gnawing in his innards are as strong as the fluttering beats of his heart that were filled with growing longing.

              He is so fucked.

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              At times sudden changes can make or break people and relationships.

              Tatsumi thought he had matured past childish inclinations, unfortunately his current predicament was proving him wrong and in the most annoying ways possible. For the past days since his “big” revelation, Tatsumi found his dreams and waking hours plagued by thoughts of piercing blue eyes and a charming smile, with golden hair framing a face that’s become too familiar. Tortured by visual images of what he could only describe as impossibilities, such as the gentle caress of fingers through his hair or the sweet taste of lips on his own mouth along with the warmth of another body against his. Tatsumi usually wakes from these “nightmares” with a mixture of panic, attraction, guilt, and anticipation, along with some other problem that he refuses to acknowledge. The faint sensation of a warm hand holding his own, a clear and recent memory, often sends him down another loophole of mixed feelings.

              Has he reverted back to a high school boy or what? A grown man shouldn’t be experiencing stuff like this. Right? Though his own brain answers in affirmation, his heart replies with the opposite answer which only frustrates Tatsumi even more.

              Tatsumi’s realization has him stumped and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He tries to act like nothing is wrong, but his attempts don’t work out that well. At some points he catches himself flustered at every small interaction with Toujou, when their shoulders brush together as they walk side by side, when their fingers touch as they exchange papers in the office, and even when they head home and Toujou coincidentally presses close to Tatsumi due to the crowded train car, the proximity makes Tatsumi’s chest thunder with erratic heartbeats and his face burns a fiery red with it.

              His realization of his own deep-rooted feelings is now fucking with his brain. Not to mention this is the first time he has caught romantic feelings for someone, not even his past relationships made him feel this way to this extent and thus he is mostly grasping at straws, trying to figure out on what he should do. Years ago these experiences never even crossed his mind as things that were worthy of note, nowadays they occupy his thoughts as soon as there’s a free moment.

              In this state of confusion and climbing frustration, Tatsumi ends up unconsciously distancing himself from his friend. It started with small things like avoiding their chats during break time in the office, they’d still spend time during lunch but the topics they usually talk about slowly get lesser in number as Tatsumi begins to stop instigating conversation and Toujou is left to carry on the discussion himself. And although Toujou manages well enough, he does pick up on the change eventually.

              The gradual decline of their interactions seep into the times they spend with each other outside of the office, their walks home now get more and more silent and their usual banter has become nonexistent in the office that even their workmates pick up on the change. Though their coworkers were polite enough to not bring up anything, Toujou would notice the looks of concern thrown his way. Meanwhile Tatsumi wasn’t aware of the worried glances they would give him and Toujou as they pass each other in the hall without exchanging friendly words like they often did. There was tension there but neither party seemed inclined to bring it up to either one’s attention, Tatsumi being too lost in his own personal problems while Toujou wasn’t sure of what their friendship was suffering from yet.

              It all comes to a head as the weekend approached and Tatsumi, with much regret and uncharacteristic nervousness, sends a message to Toujou that he wouldn’t be available for their usual gym session. And all though Toujou replied with typical understanding, Tatsumi felt conflicted with the decision he made with cancelling the gym session. Because he actually did want to see Toujou during the weekend, to spend more time with just the two of them. However, his mind was fighting with his heart, too prideful to acknowledge or even accept that his romantic feelings did exist and yes, it did involve another man. Tatsumi’s inner turmoil worsens with the fact that this development was unexpected and that he still couldn’t accept that he was falling for the universe’s ploy to make everything so focused on BL. His frustration was in fact not directed towards Toujou, or even the fact that he had feelings for the other man, the frustration was because he felt like he was just being dragged around by the whims of the universe without any of his own input concerning his life and that only made him feel like a puppet on strings under the control of something that wasn’t himself. He didn’t want to simply be another tool to be used in fulfilling the universe’s twisted schemes.

              And yet he couldn’t just outright deny what he felt.

              It was obvious in the way that his heart softened at the sight of Toujou so eager to meet him in the mornings, and in the way that his own smile becomes brighter by just spending time with the other man. Desire and longing, two things Tatsumi had never thought he would feel for another man. But even in his deepest moments of denial there was a truth that Tatsumi could not avoid. These feelings were unfortunately as real as he was, even someone like him wouldn’t be able to fake these reactions he was having towards another person. Still, devastatingly, he sometimes wishes he had never fallen in love with Toujou. He wishes his feelings had remained platonic.

              Because Toujou was better off with someone other than him.

              A great guy like Toujou deserved someone just as great, kind, caring, and handsome. And that person wasn’t Tatsumi. Come on, a guy like Tatsumi getting together with a perfect prince charming like Toujou? Impossible.

              Tatsumi tries to convince himself that these feelings he harbored for his friend were most likely the result of the universe pushing them together just because it thinks their story would be another great BL story, one among millions in this world that followed BL tropes so religiously. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t be one of the unaware victims of such predestined “fate”, that he would be different from the other men where he would write out his own destiny. That he wouldn’t fall into a trope like all the others in his life.

              He should shoot this flag down…

              Still, his traitorous heart denies that conclusion with fierceness and scary determination. It keeps calling for Toujou even as Tatsumi buries himself into his bed, burrowing under his covers, ignoring his phone lest he be tempted to cancel the cancellation and go out of his way to go meet Toujou at the gym. Tatsumi can’t allow himself to be this weak to the universe’s whims. Against everything in his heart, Tatsumi strengthens his resolve to ignore the affection he has growing for his friend and through sheer stubbornness the day passes without the two of them meeting.

              If you ask Tatsumi how his weekend went he would say it was alright. He won’t tell you about the moments he spent with an ache in his heart as he stared at the cat stickers that littered his stuff while he tried to distract himself with other hobbies. He wouldn’t dare confess about how he traced each sticker with a finger, following every detail and design with his eyes while he was being reminded of the kind friend who had given them on his birthday two years ago, and how he treasured each and every single one until today.

              Tastumi would bury these feelings deep into the darkest parts of himself if he has to. If only to salvage what friendship he and Toujou had left, he won’t allow measly feelings concocted by the universe to get in the way of something he cherished beyond words.

              And yet, his eyes keep watching the cat stickers that he stuck all over his belongings. On the cover of his laptop, on multiple notebooks, and even on his phone case, reminding him of the person he was currently avoiding.

              Should I remove them?

              The unprompted thought makes Tatsumi mull over it. If he removes the stickers he wouldn’t have such a hard time getting over Toujou. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to take off the stickers. It was a gift, he wasn’t a monster… or was he? As his nail caught onto the edge of a sticker, he tried to peel one off, to prove that he was being serious about not allowing his new emotions to rule over him, to limit the growth of this sudden affection by erasing anything that ignited that mushy emotion within his chest.

              In the end none of the stickers were removed, and Tatsumi spent the rest of the day in dread and horror at the extent of this romantic inclination he found himself in. He curses the universe for the umpteenth time, his heart aching with longing and anger all at the same time. The old feelings of loneliness starts to rear its head once more, blurring the lines between peaceful solitude and painful isolation.

-=-=-=-

              The following week is difficult for both parties, their friendship has turned stilted and with the holidays drawing near people in the office were starting to worry if whatever was happening between Toujou and Tatsumi would be resolved before the long break. Their company had a very generous December holiday break which extended from Christmas Eve until two weeks into January. That’s three weeks of vacation and most of the people in the office were hoping their two star-coworkers would be able to fix whatever conflict was going on before that break starts. Itsuko herself had tried to talk with either man on separate occasions, trying to subtly gauge or at least get a hint of what was going on. Unfortunately, it appears Toujou doesn’t know what the issue was and meanwhile Tatsumi was a master at keeping his guard up and not letting anything slip by to even hint at what the issue could be.

              Perhaps the most surprising part of this whole debacle was that the pair’s work performance hasn’t suffered at all. They’re still performing at their peak even with the unknown issue between them and that just makes investigating harder, because aside from the duo’s stilted friendship everything else seems to be ok. Doing what little she could, Itsuko gives Toujou a pat on the back as a silent encouragement. The younger man responds with a forced smile, a far cry from his most perfectly crafted fake smiles. Itsuko sighs and decides to let the two men hash it out on their own, wishing them the best.

              Another weekend rolls around and Tatsumi once more cancels on the usual gym session, this time the conflict between his mind and heart was louder. But he convinced himself that it was for the best, that he needed more time to keep his emotions under wraps. To be able to erase the erratic emotions that swirl like a tornado within him every time he as much as just talks with Toujou. He doesn’t want to avoid the other this long but it’s a need in order to keep the friendship they built until now.

              But the guilt stays and it worsens every time he looks around his lonely apartment, memories reminding him of the times when they’d spend their weekends either at his kitchen or at Toujou’s. He swallows the guilt and doesn’t rescind his decision. This is all for the sake of their friendship. He can do this much…

              Unbeknownst to Tatsumi he wasn’t the only one experiencing the changes. On the other side of the story was a perplexed Toujou. Ever since Tatsumi had gotten that invitation from Kazuki there has been a slight shift in the way Tatsumi acted around Toujou. Somehow the older man looked more distracted and he hasn’t been talking to Toujou as much like he had been before. Their office conversations have become more strictly focused on work, topics unrelated to that wouldn’t be entertained by the older man aside from a hum of acknowledgement. Even their interactions outside the office were slowly dwindling, reduced to online chats or texts if they don’t come across each other. And the coincidental back to back cancelations of their gym sessions. Perhaps Toujou has reading too much into these small changes but he was worried. Hell even the regulars at their gym had begun asking him where Tatsumi was and why he hadn’t been at the gym with Toujou like usual. Toujou could only say that Tatsumi was taking a break and he’ll surely be back, but Toujou himself doubted his words. Something was definitely wrong but Tatsumi isn’t telling him anything.

              Although he did have a suspicion as to why Tatsumi had started acting aloof around him. Toujou feared if Tatsumi had somehow caught on to Toujou’s feelings for him and that’s why the sudden avoidance has begun. How did his friend find out? And if that was the case, was Tatsumi keeping his distance because he felt weirded out by Toujou’s feelings for him?

              His heart squeezes painfully and his stomach turns to cold hard stone, fear overpowering every other thought.

              Toujou knows this was a baseless assumption but his fears grew worse when Tatsumi had sent him a text on a Wednesday night, informing him that Tatsumi couldn’t attend their last cooking session before the holidays started.

              ‘But why?’ Toujou couldn’t help but text back quickly.

              ‘There’s something that has come up and I need to deal with it. Apologies.’

              Usually Toujou would accept the raincheck without much ado but he has a gut feeling that this wasn’t like the past times when Tatsumi had given rainchecks. His excuse didn’t feel genuine somehow and Toujou had a sneaking feeling that Tatsumi was now fully avoiding him. No longer wanting to waste time anxiously fretting over things he wasn’t sure of, Toujou sent Tatsumi a reply.

              ‘I know it’s late but can I come over? I think we need to talk.’

              The following reply took longer than what Toujou expected from his friend and Toujou’s concerns merely grew when he received the response.

              ‘Not today. Maybe some other time. Sorry Toujou-kun.’

              ‘Ah I see. Alright Tatsumi-san, I hope everything is ok.’

              After Toujou’s response the conversation ended there and he was at a loss. Clearly there was something else going on but Tatsumi obviously didn’t want to talk about it. And Toujou wasn’t one to pry, not when it was obvious that his involvement wasn’t wanted there. Thus, Toujou couldn’t do much but wait for his friend to approach Toujou of his own volition, because Toujou knew that Tatsumi didn’t like being pressured into doing something, much less opening up about whatever he was going through. Toujou knew he should be more patient and understanding, however, waiting and doing nothing only made his anxieties worsen over time. But what else could he do?

              The silence after that question was disheartening.

              However, Toujou refused to let things stay like this. There has to be something he can do.

-=-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi was not doing well. His constant day dreaming and unwanted thoughts about his friend were slowly driving him crazy. Not only that, he could also feel the longing grow heavier with each passing day. What’s worse is that Toujou has noticed that something’s off. So after receiving Toujou’s worried texts, Tatsumi did his best to pretend that everything was fine. He dialed up the nonchalance to a hundred percent, trying to greet Toujou in the morning like he usually would as they did their morning routine of going to the train station together and heading to work. If Toujou noticed the forced way Tatsumi kept a genial smile on like a mask, he didn’t say. Thankfully though the younger man chose to not treat Tatsumi any differently, responding to the effort with a bit of enthusiasm. Everything was going well even as they went about their usual work day and this went on until the next day. It seems like things were finally going back to normal.

              Or so Tatsumi thought.

              Once lunch time rolled around that Friday, Toujou approached the older man with a sober expression. “Tatsumi-san can we talk in private please?”

              Tatsumi fights the urge to run away. Instead he nods. “Yeah. Sure.”

              Toujou led the way to a room that was used as storage but utilized as a break room once in a while. It was big enough to hold several shelves on two walls across from each other with a passage way in between that would fit two people walking side by side. As soon as the door was shut and locked behind them, Toujou started the conversation without beating around the bush, facing Tatsumi while wearing a serious expression.

              “Tatsumi-san what’s going?”

              The older man blinked, not expecting such a direct approach but he wouldn’t let the surprise throw him off from his initial goal today. Which is to pretend that everything was fine. “I’m not sure of what you’re talking about. I’m just focusing on work as always.” Tatsumi easily explained with a relaxed pose, leaning into the side of the shelf beside him, feigning nonchalance.

              Toujou’s lips press into a tight line, turbulent emotions flit through his eyes, and the humorless laugh that erupts from him was uncharacteristic. “Come on Tatsumi-san, we’ve been friends long enough that I can tell when you’re lying.” And in a sadder tone, expression falling into a concerned frown, Toujou pleads. “As your friend I’m asking you to answer me honestly. Please, don’t lie to me Tatsumi-san. You’ve been canceling all our outings this month. What’s really going on?”

              Faced with such genuine worry, Tatsumi feels like he had just kicked a puppy, a cute blonde and blue-eyed puppy who was giving him the saddest eyes he’s ever seen on anyone. Tatsumi could lie, he should lie and say that everything was fine and nothing was wrong. But one look at Toujou made his stomach lurch and his heart squeeze painfully, the mere idea of lying to his friend was enough to make him feel ashamed/ The guilt ultimately gets to him and Tatsumi sighs heavily. “I’m sorry Toujou-kun. I know I’ve been acting off for the past weeks or so. I know you’re worried but it’s a personal matter that I need to deal with by myself.”

              Toujou was visibly about to protest but Tatsumi raised his hand to stop the younger man. Toujou relented, allowing Tatsumi to continue talking.

              “I know you want to help. And I know I can trust you. But this isn’t something you can help with. I’m sorry for worrying you. But I’ll tell you about it when the proper time comes. For now, I just need time to figure things out.” He decided to be honest but vague, respecting Toujou’s upfront question while also preserving his own privacy on the matter.

              After Tatsumi says his piece, Toujou stayed silent for a moment before nodding sagely. “Thank you for telling me all of this Tatsumi-san. And it’s not that I doubt your abilities to take care of your own problems by yourself, I just want to be able to assist you in any way I can.” Toujou looks away and rubs the back of his neck in slight bashfulness as he declares. “Just know I’m always here if you need anything.”

              The heart is a fickle thing because with those simple words Tatsumi felt his chest bloom with warmth and affection. But he forcefully reigned the flurry of emotions back into neutrality. Tatsumi managed a gentle smile. “I know. Thank you, Toujou-kun.”

              “And please stop avoiding me.”

              Wow. Toujou was really off-filter today, very upfront. However, Tatsumi didn’t hate that about him. Touched by the bravery it took for Toujou to approach him like this and to be transparent as a friend, the older man decides to humor this request with a promise to himself that he would keep their interactions strictly platonic.

              “Alright. I won’t. Sorry for being avoidant.”

              This appears to placate the other man, those words finally encouraging a smile back onto Toujou’s face. “I’ll hold you to that.”

-=-=-=-

              Sadly, even with the conversation the two men had in an attempt to patch things up, their friendship still held an awkward air about it whenever they interacted, especially when they were alone together. Tatsumi was trying his best to keep the interactions on a friendly level but maybe he was trying too hard and that made their interactions feel stiff and calculated, rather than the usual easy flowing banter and conversations. Toujou was also doing his best, but he couldn’t help the mild hurt he feels whenever Tatsumi makes their conversations overly “normal” that it felt like he was talking to the Tatsumi that he met two years ago, before they became friends. It hurt but Toujou acknowledged that the world didn’t revolve around him, thus he extended grace and understanding towards his friend. Hoping that one day they’ll be able to get through this bump in the road and go back to being real friends once more.

              Neither of them point out the obvious because they both didn’t want to make things worse. And so the not so close friendship continued until the holidays truly began.

              Toujou had planned to ask Tatsumi about his plans for the holiday, but due to the state of their friendship right now he wasn’t able to broach the topic like he usually would. He wasn’t even sure now if it was ok to ask Tatsumi about it or if asking would cause Tatsumi to pull back once more. It was like he was walking on thin ice for some reason and Toujou didn’t want to fuck things up while simultaneously wanting to spend more time with Tatsumi like he did before. Why can’t they go back to being as close as they were? What was Toujou missing?

On the morning of Christmas Eve Toujou happens to come across Tatsumi as the older man appeared to be carrying a large bag and locking his apartment. Toujou was also dressed up but he was carrying a smaller bag, and he was also just about to head out.

              The younger man decides to greet his friend. “Good morning Tatsumi-san.”

              A little startled, Tatsumi nearly drops his keys and he turns towards Toujou with slightly wide eyes that relaxed once he realized who was speaking. “Ah Toujou-kun, good morning.”

              “Headed somewhere?” Toujou asked, nodding towards the bag in Tatsumi’s hand.

              “Oh yeah, I’m heading to my parents’ house for the holidays. They’ve been pestering me about visiting them for a while now so I decided to go this break.”

              “Ah I see.” Toujou looked like he was about to say something but he briefly took a pause before speaking. “Are you taking a train or catching a flight?”

              “The train’s cheaper and more comfortable.” Tatsumi the took notice of what Toujou was carrying as well. “Are you heading somewhere too?”

              Toujou looked like he was contemplating his answer a bit too hard, then he answered nonchalantly. “Yes, I have something to settle before I head home for the holidays as well.”

              “I see.” Tatsumi gave a fond sigh, probably used to hearing about Toujou’s workaholic tendencies.

              Toujou pretends that the small smile on Tatsumi’s face wasn’t making him melt on the spot, fueling the longing that has been growing worse for the past weeks.

              “I guess I’ll see you next year then?” Tatsumi asked, a new tone in his voice that curiously sounded like hope.

              Toujou smiled and nodded. “I’ll see you next year Tatsumi-san. Take care.”

              “See you and take care too.” Tatsumi was the first to make his exit. If Toujou had watched closer he would’ve noticed the hesitant pause in the middle of Tatsumi’s gait, but ultimately neither man called out to the other and their paths diverged.

              Meanwhile, Toujou waited for a full minute before heading back inside his apartment, closing the door behind him, and leaning his back on it with his full weight, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. The truth was Toujou was actually also heading home for the holidays today and by train as well. There was a high chance that they had the same ride heading for Tokyo. But instead of doing what he wanted, like asking Tatsumi what ticket number he had and at what station, Toujou had chickened out. Because why would Tatsumi ever say yes to them travelling back home together when their friendship was suffering an awkward spell. Could they even handle hours on a train ride without the conversation falling flat? Would Tatsumi even have wanted to sit beside Toujou at all?

              Toujou buries his face into his hands and groans with frustration.

              Why was their friendship crumbling like this and why was Toujou so affected by the change? It’s not like they weren’t friends anymore and it’s not like Tatsumi was outright avoiding him… Then why did it still hurt? Why did it feel like he was slowly losing his friend even though Tatsumi was still right there with him physically?

              Why does it feel exactly like the time when Toujou noticed his relationship with Ayato wasn’t working anymore?

              The thought is like a gut punch to Toujou’s soul, the past a bitter taste on his tongue, and the hurt swirled into a burning ball of misery inside him.

              I don’t want to lose Tatsumi too.

              I can’t lose him.

              Not like this.

              Why does he keep losing the people he loves?

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

May 9, 2025

This is going to be a hard post to get through as I am heavily upset with the data scrapping that has happened again in AO3 around April this year. I’ve only been made aware of the incident by coming across a youtube video by ColeyDoesThings titled “AI stole from AO3 (again)”. I recommend this video for a summary of what is happening to anyone interested, and there are helpful links in the video description for further information if you want to read any of it. OTW and AO3 are doing what they can to deal with the scrapping situation, I won't get into the details because they have their own updates in reddit and for anyone who wants to know more you can search it up on google. 

I will be focusing on discussing what will happen to my stories here on AO3.

Long story short, all of my works in AO3 that haven’t been locked (locked works are fanfics in AO3 that only AO3 registered users can have access to), my works that are available to be read by guests have all been data scrapped. That's 45 fanfics that I've written thus far. I am disheartened by the lengths that horrid people go through to crush the spirit of creatives. First it was my art. And now it’s my writing. I am TIRED of AI slop stealing, scrapping, and destroying the creativity that us humans do in order to express ourselves and to simply exist in our humanity, because yes being creative is being ALIVE. We sing, we dance, we make art, we write, ALL THIS IS BEING ALIVE.

I have been tempted to lock all my fics because of what has happened, locking my fics can be a preventative measure for any future data scrapping or at least limits whoever gets access to view my works. But if I do so all my works will not be available for guests to view and read anymore and that’s not what I want. I, like many others, was introduced to fanfics because of publicly available works posted by generous authors who shared their works for free. That’s how I came across AO3 and that’s what kickstarted my journey into posting my writing as well.

As a writer I write because it’s what keeps me going, it gives me something to look forward to in this shitty life that I have, it’s one of the lifelines I’ve had that have pulled me through some of the darkest times of my life. Writing is one of the reasons why I am still here. And learning about the data scrapping angers me like no other.

But I will not be locking my fics. I will continue to make my fics available for guests to read because I know what it feels like to be on the other side of the screen. I want to share my stories for free, to connect with other people, to allow my stories to speak to the hearts of those willing to read whatever silly story a stranger like me has poured their soul and heart into writing.

I will continue to write in spite of the hurt I feel.

I will continue to write to fight against the tide of fake AI shit that threatens creative spaces.

I am taking my stand and I am not going to let this stop me from writing.

That being said I will now be placing blatant headers and footers on each chapter. It might be aesthetically ugly and annoying but if it can poison the well of whatever data scrapper plans to steal data again at least a little bit it will be worth it. 

Example header:

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

I will be placing that in the beginning and ending of all my fics' chapters from now on.

My heart goes out to all the fellow authors who have laid down the pen and shut off their writing accounts. I know how discouraging this AI shit show is and I’ve been one of those that deleted all their works before, I know how much it hurts, I know how dreadful it is knowing that all your hard work has been scrapped for fuckers who couldn’t give a shit about the journey it takes to be a writer nor the care and love and sacrifice that goes into it. There is no judgement from me, I understand. I am sending all the hugs and comfort and love to fellow authors going through this hard time, and all I wish is that whether you post your writing online or not I hope the positives that writing has given you will live on and that your fire for writing will continue to burn no matter what path you take in life. 

Thank you for reading this far. And thank you for supporting this very tired but also determined writer.

Long live the creative human spirit.

PS - if the time comes that I have to lock my fics for my peace of mind and my own mental health it will only be fics written after today (May 9, 2025), I'm counting Fate or Choice as one of the fics that will remain not locked and will be open for guests to read freely. 

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              The trip back home was an impromptu decision on Tatsumi’s end. He hadn’t planned to go back to Tokyo and visit his parents this year at all. But yesterday he made the split-second decision to go. All because the thought of spending the holidays alone in his apartment exacerbated the feelings of loneliness that had reappeared once his interactions with a certain blonde had monumentally decreased. He wasn’t even sure if Toujou was heading home for the holidays, Tatsumi had gotten too nervous to ask the other about it. Not that he could gather the courage to do so anyway, the awkwardness hadn’t disappeared from their interactions and he knows it’s his fault for letting his undecided feelings get in the way of their normalcy.

              Nevertheless, when Tatsumi met Toujou on the morning of his scheduled train ride the older man was tempted to ask if Toujou was heading home for the holidays at that moment. But when Toujou said he had something to do Tatsumi ended up not asking further. Now as he sat on the train headed home, though he was surrounded by a crowd of people he felt way more alone than ever before. The conflict between his heart and mind never settling. As he watched the areas of Beppu pass him by, the strange longing for Toujou’s presence throbbed like an old injury. As if leaving Beppu and Toujou behind was wrong in some way, even if he knew that logically didn’t make any sense. But what use was logic in the face of such mysterious and deep emotions anyway? It’s been proven that Tatsumi can’t use logic to change his feelings no matter what concise reason or articulated explanation he gave himself. Hell, he even made a list of the pros and cons of falling for his friend, emphasizing on the cons, but his heart never listened.

              The heart wants what it wants.

              Tatsumi sighs heavily and decides to stop thinking about Beppu and a certain blond. For now he should be focusing on his reunion with his family, it has been six years since he saw them in person after all. Though the thought of family brought on another worry that he has been ignoring for some time. What should he tell Ayato when they see each other? Should he even mention Toujou or should he just not bring that topic up at all? That was one conversation he wasn’t looking forward to having even if he wasn’t sure if the conversation would ever come up. This only came up because Tatsumi had been wondering if Ayato knew about Toujou being in Beppu. Tatsumi wonders if the two still stay in touch, and if they do, what information do they share amongst each other? But then again Toujou hasn’t mentioned anything about Ayato for the past year and a half so the exes probably don’t talk anymore.

              Which actually makes things worse, because what kind of sibling was he to fall for his sibling’s ex? Tatsumi wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He feels even weirder for the affection that he knows he’s holding for his friend who was also his brother’s ex. Was this a BL trope that he hadn’t come across yet? The plot was too messy and the trajectory didn’t make sense at all. Why was Toujou being paired up with him of all people when there were no hints of such developments when they interacted during their younger years?

              ‘I should really stop thinking about this.’

              Tatsumi forcibly stops all thoughts about romance, twisted plots, and multiple plot holes in favor of more positive views. He had one good thing going for him at least, and that was being able to see Mii-chan again. He hasn’t seen Mii-chan in years and he’s eager to meet their family pet to give her cuddles and treats like he did before.

-=-=-=-

              Meanwhile, back in an apartment in Beppu, Toujou was debating if he should delay his trip back home for another day, the ache in his chest not quite abating. However, while he was dillydallying with his decision a short ping from his phone alerted him that he had received a message. Upon looking at the notifications he sees that it was a message from his little sister, Fumiko.

              ‘Older brother don’t forget to bring us souvenirs ok??? I really like the soft cherry mochi you sent us last Christmas! You’ll bring more of those when you come visit right??’

              Successfully distracted from his meandering soliloquy, Toujou sends a reply.

              ‘Don’t worry. I didn’t forget.’

              ‘OK! Travel safe! Mom wants to know what time you’ll be getting here.’

              Toujou thought for a moment before sending his response.

              ‘There’s been a delay so I might be late by one or two hours but I’ll get there around night time today.’

              Fumiko sends a cute cat sticker doing a thumbs up with a satisfied grin. Toujou sighs upon seeing the sticker, an image of a cheeky person’s smile coming into his mind immediately. Why does every little thing remind him of a certain lavender-haired man?

              He decides to move past the longing that reemerged, pushing it back down, and he makes up his mind to drop by a gift shop to buy what Fumiko wanted plus extra things for his parents. And he’ll also drop by a pet shop on the way in order to buy Omochi some treats. Since his family was eagerly looking forward to his visit, Toujou decided against delaying his trip any further. He has all the time to worry about his fluctuating friendship later, for now he will focus on going back home to warm hugs and the energetic ramblings and fussing of his family.

-=-=-=-

              The moment Tatsumi reached Tokyo it felt like he never even left. From the skyscrapers in the center of the city to the crawling residential areas further out, the bustling energy of Tokyo and its busy streets are quite nostalgic for Tatsumi. It’s definitely a different atmosphere to the more relaxed mood that surrounded Beppu. But Tatsumi didn’t feel too out of place, easily falling in pace with the city life. By the time he reached a familiar street Tatsumi recognizes the same old path he had walked on for decades. The roads clean, the neighborhood brimming with people heading out for the holidays, and once he stops in front of their family house it looked the same as it did six years ago when he left. But the evidence of his absence only hit him the most when he was greeted by his parents, strands of silver now streaking amongst their once completely dark hair, their faces showing signs of aging with wrinkles and crows’ feet along the edges of their eyes. His father was now wearing glasses when he didn’t even need them before. Tatsumi’s parents were getting along on years and though Tatsumi isn’t usually an emotional guy he finds his eyes watering at the realization. He runs to give his parents the longest and tightest hug of his life.

              “I’m home.”

              Tatsumi’s parents were surprised at first, but eventually they return the hug just as tightly. They respond with warmth, “Welcome home son.”

-=-=-=-

              Mii-chan had been guarded at first when Tatsumi tried to pet him, but upon presenting one of his favorite treats the cat allowed the human to give the pets he had longed for. The cat allowed a short amount of attention before he sauntered off to do cat things on his own, but the short time alone was enough to make Tatsumi happy and satisfied. It seems like his adoration for Mii-chan hasn’t faded over the years.

              Tatsumi and his parents catch up over dinner with udon, chicken teriyaki, sushi, and soup dumplings that his parents had ordered for the occasion. For his contribution Tatsumi brought some desserts he had bought in Beppu for all of them to share. He had set aside some for tomorrow as well.

              “Ayato is coming over tomorrow.” Tatsumi’s mom informed him as they finished eating the main meal.

              “I bet he’ll be surprised to see me here then. Does he visit often?”

              “He drops by at least once a week or every other week when he can. Sometimes he doesn’t come for a month or so but we don’t pressure him to come visit. He’s gotten busy with his new job and his new boyfriend after all,” Tatsumi’s mom tittered cheerfully.

              Tatsumi’s eyes widened, he almost choked on his food as he spluttered, “N-new boyfriend??”

              “Oh my.” Tatsumi’s mom covered her mouth daintily in slight surprise. “I thought Ayato would’ve told you. I’m assuming he hasn’t yet?”

              Tatsumi coughed and shook his head quickly before accepting the cup of water his father handed him, downing the liquid to soothe his throat. When he wasn’t coughing anymore, Tatsumi looked at his parents in shock. “Ayato has a new boyfriend??” He repeats it as if he couldn’t believe the information.

              “Well yes. I think they’ve been dating for almost six months now. Why is it such a surprise Tat-chan?”

              “Mom please don’t call me that.” Tatsumi groaned as he simultaneously reeled at the new information. “And it just caught me off guard that’s all.”

              It wasn’t like he expected his brother to stay single forever, but he was honest when he said it caught him off guard. To be fair though it has been multiple years since Ayato and Toujou broke up so it shouldn’t be a huge surprise. But… perhaps a small delusional self-sabotaging part of Tatsumi had thought that the two would get back together again, which was more unlikely but not completely impossible especially with the factor of a BL universe pulling the strings. Although now that Tatsumi heard that Ayato was in a new relationship he couldn’t help the spark of hope that reignited within him.

              Should he be ashamed for feeling a bit hopeful?

              Tatsumi shook away the noisy thoughts and focused back into the present. “Has he introduced his new boyfriend yet?”

              “Not yet. But you know Ayato. He’ll introduce his new partner to us sooner or later in his own time.” The matron gives a knowing confident smile before clapping her hands and standing up to collect the plates. “Alright, who’s ready for desserts?”

              Both men give their agreement and though Tatsumi offered to help clear the table, his mother declined the offer and insisted that he stay seated and relax for the evening. As Tatsumi’s mom goes into the kitchen his father strikes up conversation.

              “Everything will be alright son. Ayato’s old enough to handle these things on his own now.” The older man had mistaken Tatsumi’s surprise for concern about his younger brother.

              Tatsumi rolled with it. “I know he can dad. I was just surprised considering how his last relationship with To- ahem, with his last boyfriend went.” He had barely stopped himself from spouting Toujou’s name. Not that it was taboo but he didn’t exactly know about his parents’ opinion on Toujou after the breakup.

              “Ah right. It was a shock to me and your mother as well when Ayato announced that he and that Toujou boy had broken up. I hadn’t seen Ayato that broken hearted before, he hadn’t cried that much except maybe when one of his gaming consoles got broken. But things do happen for a reason. And even if Ayato never told us the reason for the breakup it must’ve been for the best.” The older man shifts in his seat and smiles knowingly. “Ayato has been smiling more recently. And I know it’s because of his new partner. I just want him to be happy, that’s all I ever wanted for you children. And yes, that involves you as well Tatsumi.”

              Tatsumi felt his chest warm at his father’s words, his old man didn’t speak often like this when he was younger and living with them. Perhaps the time away had made them both reflect on being more open with their vulnerabilities especially since they won’t get to spend days like this together as often anymore.

              “Now tell me, have you found anyone in Beppu yet? Do you have someone to introduce to us soon?”

              Tatsumi stopped the urge to do a facepalm. He should’ve guessed that this is where the conversation was headed especially when his father was being vulnerable and talking about wanting happiness for his children. Unfortunately, the first person that came to mind once he considered answering was a familiar blonde man that he was starting to miss quite a lot.

              “I- There’s no one. You know I’m focusing on my career dad.” Tatsumi fumbled out the usual excuse.

              “Ah we know Tat-chan.” The older woman had returned from the kitchen with desserts and tea in tow, laying out everything while chatting. “But it’s not a problem if you found someone while you’re also working right? It would be the perfect time for you to find a partner at this age. Right dear?” She turned to her husband with a sweet smile.

              “That’s right love. We started dating each other at this age too.” Tatsumi’s father added with a huge smile.

              Meanwhile, Tatsumi was reminded why he hadn’t gone to visit his parents in a while. Usually he didn’t mind the comments and questions about his love life, but he had grown a little weary of hearing the same things especially after his second break up. He knows his parents don’t mean any harm by the questions they ask but Tatsumi does feel pressured the more they ask him about it. Also they probably expect him to be the one to give them grandchildren since he has been openly dating women so far. Which also raises another point, now that he knows he was also romantically interested in Toujou did that make him gay? Or was bisexual a more accurate label? Pansexual?

              Tatsumi didn’t know, all these questions starting to pop up about himself was making his head hurt. Still, he was sure that he didn’t want to get his parents’ hopes up because he wasn’t even sure how he should approach his feelings concerning Toujou. However, in this state of uncertainty there was at least one thing he was sure of, Tatsumi knew that he wouldn’t be getting into any romantic relationships until he has finally settled these emotions he held towards his friend.

              And that’s going to take a him a while to emotionally process.

              Why couldn’t things have stayed simple?

              Why did he have to go and fall in love with someone he had finally considered a true friend?

-=-=-=-

              Toujou Iori arrived in Tokyo at the time he had predicted. Night time had already fallen and the streets were filled with people keen on spending their Christmas Eve as best as they could, crowds upon crowds filled the sidewalks and the parks. Toujou headed straight home after leaving the train, avoiding the streets full of people, he’s only been away for two years but he already felt the nostalgia hit him as he arrived back home. As soon as he rang the doorbell his entire family came out to greet him with a big warm group hug, they acted as if he was away for a decade. Although he does understand their reactions. Iori is the first child and he was the first one to move out and live in another prefecture altogether, which made visits difficult. Fumiko on the other hand had decided to stay with their parents to help them with whatever they needed, and so that she could save money instead of using her savings on rent. As far as the Toujou family went they were still living together sans Iori himself.

              Iori felt his family’s emotions with how tight they hugged him and how excited they were to talk to him and ask about his life in Beppu, all while they ushered him inside. The moment they all got settled in the living room Iori started telling his family all about his experiences at his new job and his new pace. Omochi had lumbered over and was content to lie on Iori’s lap, not wanting to move an inch. The little dog had clearly missed the young man’s presence, and Iori gave him all the pets and hugs he could give while regaling his tales to his family. The Toujou family had food, snacks, and drinks throughout the eager story exchange with the rest of the family getting Iori caught up with their own happenings in life. This bonding time lasted until very late at night.

              It was past one in the morning when the two parents excused themselves and headed to bed. Iori and Fumiko decided to stay up longer with the younger of the two bringing out a bottle of sake she had been saving for this occasion.

              Iori eyed the bottle with a doubtful look. “Won’t mom get angry?”

              “It’s fine as long as we don’t get shit-faced drunk. A little alcohol won’t be bad. Plus I’ve been saving this exclusive cherry blossom flavored sake since last year just for you! I was bummed when you said you wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays back then, you know?” Fumiko explained all while she opened the bottle and carefully poured their drinks into the shot glasses.

              Iori sighs, he knows his sister had a point and both of them were adults, he can trust that they knew how to drink responsibly so for today he allows himself to indulge in drinking. He takes his cup and sips at the transparent pink liquid, it had faint floral notes that wasn’t too overbearing on the taste of the sake which was nice.

              “I did apologize for not making it last Christmas. I even sent all those gifts.” Iori explained, allowing Omochi to get up and saunter away into his own dog bed, the fluffy creature satisfied with cuddling with the young man.

              “The gifts and apology are all fine. But it’s still different when we have your gifts but not your presence though.” Fumiko told her brother with a pout. They had always been close siblings since Toujou was a caring and attentive older brother, thus Fumiko was comfortable with speaking her mind and expressing her thoughts around him. As adults they grew even closer with mutual respect for each other along with the usual sibling scuffles now and then.

              “I know. I missed you all too.” Iori stated with all honesty, reaching over the table to ruffle his sister’s hair much to Fumiko’s indignation.

              After the short brawl of Fumiko dodging and swatting Iori’s hands away from her hair, Fumiko asks something that had been on her mind for a while.

              “So who’s the lucky guy?”

              “Huh?”

              “Oh don’t play dumb now older brother. I know you’ve been spending a lot of time with someone since last year! You can’t hide the evidence!” Fumiko fishes out her phone from her pocket and shows Iori a series of photos that were familiar. “These are all the photos you’ve sent to us while you were at Beppu. If you look closely a lot of these appear to be cropped, like you’re cutting someone out from the picture. And some of your solo pictures that were taken from afar have way too good of a composition to have been shot by a stranger.”

              Iori is staring at the pictures as Fumiko gives her explanation, he just feels confused. “I don’t see what the pictures have to do with the first thing you said.”

              Fumiko sighs heavily as if she couldn’t believe Iori wasn’t getting what she was clearly pointing out. “These pictures of you in frame.” She shows the exact images she was talking about. “The composition, the lighting, and the overall style of the photos taken means that someone you know had snapped these pictures for you! A stranger wouldn’t be so particular with such details, they’d simply take a decent quick picture and be ok with anything that isn’t blurry. So who were you with? A new partner perhaps?”

              Iori is shocked at Fumiko’s investment in his supposed “secret” partner. But he wasn’t surprised at her attention to the photographs’ details, she does work as a photographer’s assistant and an editor so that detailed explanation made sense. Still he wasn’t sure if he wanted to entertain her curiosities over this matter.

              “I know you love gossip Fumiko, but isn’t it a bit much to investigate your own brother like this?”

              “Hah! You didn’t deny that you were with someone! Who’s this mystery person and why are you being so secretive over it?”

              Iori wanted to deny hiding anything however, lying to Fumiko would be akin to hiding behind clear glass. She knows him and his tells far too well. “I wasn’t hiding anything exactly. Yes most of the photos have been cropped but it’s because those were photos with a friend. I wasn’t sure if my friend was comfortable with his face being shown in pictures that I share with the family, so I crop out his face.”

              “So it is a guy! I was right!”

              “Yes, yes, you were right. Happy now?”

              “Are you dating him?”

              Iori choked on the sip of alcohol he had just taken, miraculously setting the cup back down on the table without spilling anything. He spluttered out a reply. “W-what? Ack. ­No, no. He and I aren’t dating. We’re just friends.”

              Fumiko tilts her head and scrunches her brows. “Really?”

              “Yes.”

              Fumiko hummed, downing a shot before speaking, “It doesn’t sound like you’re just friends though.”

              “And what makes you say that?”

              The younger sibling blinks slowly, raising her brows at her brother. “You didn’t notice? Earlier when you were telling stories you kept mentioning trips that you took with a friend. And every time you mentioned them your face changed. It’s just like when you were in a relationship before and you talked about your partner.” Fumiko tries to replicate the lovestruck expression with her own face, blue eyes shining with a soft smile, before she drops into her usual relaxed expression. “That kind of reaction.”

              Iori snorts. “You’re reading too much into it.”

              “That was way too fast of a denial.” Fumiko poured herself another drink. “So why aren’t you dating him even though it’s clear that you like him?”

              “I never said I liked him.”

              “Lies.” Fumiko tutted and shook her head. “You know you can’t lie to me older brother.”

              Iori gives his sister an exasperated look which Fumiko merely returns with her deadpan stare.

              In the end Iori was the first one to break. “You’re unbelievable sometimes you know that?” Well, it’s not like he loses anything by talking about his nonexistent love life with his nosey sister. “Fine. I’ll tell you but you have to promise to keep this to yourself.”

              Fumiko nodded eagerly. “I promise.”

              “We aren’t dating because I decided not to confess my feelings. He’s a great friend, one of the kindest and fun people I know. But that’s also why I can’t risk destroying our friendship. Because if he doesn’t feel the same way that will make things awkward. And this isn’t a friendship that I’m willing to lose.”

              There’s a beat of silence, a moment to let the words of vulnerability hang in the air. Then after letting that pass, Fumiko lays out a question that Iori hadn’t entertained before. “So you’re ok with staying as friends. What if your friend gets into a relationship and it’s not with you? Are you ok with seeing him with someone else?”

              Iori clenches his hand at the thought of Tatsumi being with someone else, a hint of anger surging at that thought. But he tries to be casual with his reply. “I’ll deal with my feelings when that time comes…”

              Fumiko frowns and she traces the rim of her cup while she thinks of her next words. She doesn’t look at Iori when she states her honest thoughts. “If you’re ok with living with the regret of never confessing that’s your choice. But you aren’t one to throw the towel in so early, older brother. Usually you would be reaching for your goal with stubborn determination. What’s different this time?”

              “It’s different because it’s Tatsumi-san! I can’t just dive in and confess like I usually do. He’s-“ Iori freezes, realizing his blunder too late, face turning a bright shade of red.

              Fumiko is staring wide-eyed in shock for a full five seconds before she screams. “Tatsumi-san!?”

              “Shhhh!” Iori quickly covered Fumiko’s mouth with his hand. “Don’t shout!”

              Quickly tearing the hand away from her face, Fumiko whisper shouts in a low voice instead. “That Tatsumi-san? Ayato’s brother? The same Tatsumi-san???”

              With the cat out of the bag and with no one to blame but himself, Iori throws caution to the wind and nods with a heavy sigh, slumping forward onto the table. “Yes. The same one.”

              “Wow.”

              Neither sibling say anything for a minute, Iori lamenting and putting blame on the alcohol for allowing him to have loose lips while Fumiko was deep in thought.

              Fumiko is the one who breaks the silence with a comment that isn’t directed to anyone in particular, it’s mostly spoken into the air. “Hah, it feels like déjà vu. I feel like I’ve already had a similar conversation before.” Then she shakes her head out of the stupor and looks at her sulking brother. “Now I see why you’re so reluctant on pursuing a relationship with him.”

              The silence stretched on for a beat more, Iori was about to say something when Fumiko speaks up once more. “What made you fall for him?”

              At this Iori groaned, keeping his face buried in his arms as he stayed slumped on the table. “Why are you asking?”

              “Come on older brother, humor me.”

              “Alright, fine.” Iori knows his sister won’t drop the matter until she has all the info. He repositions himself so he could sit comfortably and he topped up his cup with more sake. “I wasn’t really expecting to ever meet him again. After I left Tokyo for Beppu I was entirely focused on starting a new life. But then to my surprise Tatsumi-san was there and in the same company I was going to work for too. I never did ask Ayato where his brother went to work for when he left, but what were the chances that I’d see him in Beppu? That still surprises me until now.”

              “Anyway, I was keeping things civil at first, especially since I was his brother’s ex I didn’t want to make things awkward. But somehow, slowly but surely, I got to know him as a person, as an adult and a man. I can be myself around him without needing to put on a façade. He doesn’t expect me to be always perfect and he allows me to speak my mind. He’s not what I expected, in a good way. It’s hard to put it exactly into words but the more I get to know him, the more we spent time together I just- I don’t know, I guess I started falling for him before I even realized it.”

              Iori took a shot, downing the drink in one go before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Not like it matters. I won’t be letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship.” He tries to say it casually, like the words didn’t taste bitter on his tongue nor fueled the longing that housed itself within him.

              Fumiko straightens her posture, abandoning the lazy form she had while she lounged around. “I can’t say that I know what it exactly feels like to be in your position right now, but I know my older brother. And he isn’t one to settle for something that he would regret.”

              The reply brought a frown to the older man’s face. “Fumiko-“

              “I know it’s a complex situation and it’s not as easy as simply speaking your mind. But I for one think it’s worth a shot to let Tatsumi-san know about your true feelings.”

              “Why? So that he can reject me?” Iori didn’t mean to snap but the alcohol was getting to him and loosened his tongue along with his usual strict self-control.

              “You’re being unfair by doing that, you know? You’re already assuming that Tatsumi-san is going to reject you. That assumption is unfair because the only one who can decide on that answer is Tatsumi-san himself.” Fumiko crossed her arms across her chest and huffed. “Don’t get ahead of yourself by making that decision all by yourself.”

              Iori knows Fumiko has a point but it’s different, it’s not her friendship on the line here. “And what if he rejects me? What will I do then? What if he decides to never talk to me again because of my confession?” Iori shook his head and unclenched his fists. “As I said I can’t lose him.”

              “But what if he says yes? What if he agrees to go out with you?”

              “You don’t know that.”

              “You don’t know if Tatsumi-san would say no either, but you’re so sure of it.” Fumiko uncrossed her arms, her expression turning determined. “If you’re focused on ‘what ifs’ then also consider that in the future Tatsumi-san will eventually find a partner and the time you spend together will also lessen. We can’t deny the reality of that also possibly happening. Yeah, sure, you can remain friends that way but who’s to say that he won’t make his partner his priority? By then you won’t be able to do the activities you’ve been doing together as much. And maybe you’ll eventually not hang out anymore since he would go with his partner instead.”

              “Fumiko, stop.” Iori had had enough. Hearing about a future where he didn’t have Tatsumi by his side ignited a fury that he hadn’t felt in a long time, it was a deep pit of anxious ire that threatened to burn him from the inside out.

              I don’t want Tatsumi-san to be with anyone else.

              “Then why don’t you shoot your shot, older brother?”

              Iori blinks, only realizing from Fumiko’s reply that he had spoken his thoughts out loud. He sighed in deflating frustration. He rubs his temple to soothe the scrunch on his forehead caused by his constant frowning. “You never did answer what happens if he rejects me.”

              “Then you’ll be able to move forward without regret because at least you know you’ve tried.” Fumiko stated this so bluntly, the words carrying a weight that spoke from experience.

              “Fumiko, did you- I mean, where is all this coming from? This isn’t just about my own troubles is it?” Iori sat straighter, the new observation making him more alert.

              Fumiko purses her lips, seemingly reluctant to speak, but with a sigh the younger lady decides to reply. “Since it’s gotten to this point I guess it’s just better for us to be both honest huh.” Fumiko takes a deep breath in before speaking. “My crush of four years had gotten married recently. He was what I would have considered my best friend and we were close. But when he got into a relationship he didn’t spend time with me anymore and now that he’s married he’s never spoken to me again. And I keep wondering, if I had just confessed my feelings to him before he got into a relationship then would I have been the one he would’ve been married to by now? If I knew then what I knew now would I have tried harder to make an effort to let him know that I loved him?”

              Fumiko’s voice shook at the last sentence, her eyes shining with unshed tears but she refuses to let them fall. Instead she takes another deep breath and continues, “I know your situation isn’t exactly the same as mine, but I wouldn’t want you to also feel the regret that I have now. If I had the chance to try again I would let him know about my feelings… even if that would end up in a rejection. Because at least then I knew I was honest to him and myself, I wouldn’t have regretted that.”

              “Fumiko…” Iori was at a loss for words. His sister had always been the cheerful type and seeing her nearly brought to tears made him feel just as sad or even sadder. He didn’t know Fumiko had held on to this pain for a while now and he decides to make more effort to check up on his family even through a simple text message. Instead of words, Iori moved to the other side of the table and gave his sister a big hug, hoping that the action would comfort her more than words could in this moment. Fumiko returned the hug and squeezed back just as tight before letting go with a pat on her brother’s back.

              “I’m ok now. It’s been more than half a year, I’m slowly moving past the pain.”

              “Ok, but if you need someone to talk to just give me a call.”

              “I will, but don’t turn the situation around now. We’re here to talk about you’re love problems not mine.” Fumiko sniffed and then grinned. “Now do you see what I’ve been getting at? I don’t want you to lose your chance at finding happiness.”

              As Iori looked more thoughtful, Fumiko took the chance to drive in with a hammer to hit the nail on the head, speaking with a softer voice. “When you talk about Tatsumi-san I can see how much he makes you happy. Why not give yourself this chance to try?”

              Iori wanted to reply with the same renunciation as earlier, but with what Fumiko had recently revealed about her own experiences he started to think over his sister’s words with a deeper consideration. All in all Fumiko was right. No matter how much Iori twisted his excuses he could not be at peace with settling by not even trying. And maybe he was scared. Scared of the possibility of rejection, scared of feeling the pain of losing someone he cared about again, scared of repeating what happened with Ayato. Iori wasn’t too prideful to deny that he was scared. Because he is scared, he’s scared of a lot of things. But one thing that scares him the most now is losing Tatsumi because he didn’t do anything to try to keep being by the older man’s side. And with the way things were currently going with their friendship the possibility of that happening appears to be increasing.

              There were countless probabilities and figurative situations. Yes, there was a possibility that his friend would find a partner and their interactions would suffer more. Yes, Tatsumi could also reject him after he confessed, but in the end wouldn’t that be better than stewing in the liminal space of regret? Endlessly wondering, ‘what if I just confessed?’ and ‘what if I just didn’t give up?’ But amongst all those likelihoods there was also a chance that Tatsumi would say yes. And if Tatsumi agreed to date Iori wouldn’t that be worth the courage it would take to fight through the fears and doubts to finally confess? Wouldn’t a chance of happiness and sorrow by Tatsumi’s side be worth more than a lifetime without him?

              Was Iori willing to throw that chance away because of his fears?

              It didn’t take that long for Iori to come up with an answer, a clear resonance from within his heart that left no doubt. With a clearer head Iori meets his sister’s gaze and he gives her a genuine smile. “Thank you, Fumiko. I know what I have to do now.”

              Fumiko returned the smile with a wider grin filled with pride. “There’s the brother I know.” And then after a short moment she continues, “Now on to lighter topics, my boss gave me a raise! That means starting next year I’ll have a higher salary!”

              Even if Iori was amused by his sister’s quick shift in topic, Iori gave her a sincere congratulations and then they continue to chat late into dawn.

              Iori felt a brand-new bout of determination fill him, he hopes he can maintain it until the day he decides to make his move.

-=-=-=-

Chapter Text

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This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              Christmas day came around so fast, cheer filled the air, and everyone was in a festive mood. Compared to the people who went out to shops, events, or Christmas markets Tatsumi was content to stay at home and help his mother prepare the dishes for dinner after his father had gone grocery shopping that early morning. They started the meal preparations after lunch when everyone had finished wrapping their gifts in their own separate areas in the morning, Tatsumi had already wrapped his gifts for his family before he came to Tokyo so he spent the free time catching up on sleep, trying to not let thoughts of Toujou drift into his dreams. He would never admit that his mind conjured a sweet moment where Toujou had joined him on the trip back to Tokyo and that they were spending the day out on a date, a made-up scenario that his own subconsciousness created. The young man woke up with a feeling of emptiness when reality hit, an emotion that he buried and tried to forget. Instead he instantly focused on what had to be done.

              Tatsumi had been taught to cook by his mother at an early age since both parents worked a lot and Tatsumi would end up being the one responsible for feeding him and his brother sometimes. All in all Tatsumi was thankful for the skill, especially now when he can cook alongside his mom with enough knowledge to keep up with her. They cooked several main courses ranging from traditional Japanese dishes to non-traditional dishes that Tatsumi had learned to make with Toujou, not that he let his mom know about that bit of information, even as she expressed her awe at Tatsumi’s skill to make dishes she had only seen in the internet. It was nice cooking with his mom again, the last time had been when he was in college and he had free time to help her around the kitchen. He had missed this.

              Once they were done with preparing the main dishes and the sides, Tatsumi volunteered to make some desserts as well.

              “Are you sure son? It’s already four in the afternoon, we’ve been cooking for hours now.”

              “It’s ok mom. I’ve been thinking about making desserts for you all. To make something special for the holidays.”

              “Aww, when have you become so thoughtful Tat-chan? You’ve surely grown up.” The older woman comments in partly jest and partly pride. She truly is happy to see how much her eldest son had grown over the years. He has learned so much while he lived away from them that the realization that he’s managing just fine soothed her motherly apprehensions that have developed since Tatsumi moved away.

              “So what are you planning on making?”

              “Strawberry and blueberry crepes.” Tatsumi replies while preparing the ingredients.

              “Oh my, that sounds fancy. Where did you learn to make that?”

              “Tou- Ah, a friend of mine in Beppu taught me. He’s a great teacher.” Tatsumi almost slipped there. He should be more careful with his words, after all his parents knew who Toujou was, otherwise he’d be subjected to hours of endless questioning that he’d rather not endure.

              Tatsumi’s mom’s eyes lit up. “Ooo a friend in Beppu? That’s nice. Is he a local there? Will you introduce him to us? Do you think he’d be interested in giving a tour through Beppu for two old people from Tokyo?”

              “Dear that’s too many questions. Give Tatsumi some space to make the dessert and you come over here and rest. You’ve been hard at work since yesterday.” Thankfully, Tatsumi’s father was there to save Tatsumi from the interrogation that his mother threw upon him. Luckily the distraction worked and the older woman left Tatsumi in favor of sitting beside her husband, cuddling as they watched a show on the TV.

              Tatsumi felt a twinge of jealousy at the sight of his parents being so loving towards each other even at this age. Even before his eyes were opened to the world’s BL tropes occurring around him, he wanted to have a love like what his parents have. He had always wanted to grow old and wrinkly with the person he loves and who loves him just as much. Back then he imagined himself with a wife and children, a happy family. But why was the image in his head a vision of a familiar blonde instead? One whose smile brightened his day and whose laughter made the loneliness in his chest lighter. Tatsumi flushed at the thought and immediately forced the image out of his head, choosing to pay more attention to what he was currently doing.

              Soon enough everything was set up and ready for the family’s Christmas dinner. Now the only thing they were waiting for was Ayato’s arrival. It was around 6 pm when the doorbell rang and Tatsumi’s parents eagerly went to greet their youngest child at the door. Tatsumi preferred to follow from a distance, allowing his parents to be the first to greet Ayato.

              “Ayato-kun you’ve arrived!” Their mother pulled the youngest into a tight embrace, while their father gave him a fatherly pat on the head.

              “It’s good to see you again son.”

              “I-I’m home.” Ayato wheezed out as he quickly returned his mother’s embrace and stepped away from the tight grasp, nevertheless he had a bright smile on his face. “It’s good to see you both in good health. I brought sushi for us to-“

              Ayato froze upon seeing someone he hadn’t seen in person for six years now, his mouth opening in shock.

              “Big brother? Y-you’re here?” No one had informed him that his older brother was coming home for the holidays.

              “Surprise! Tat-chan called us last minute and said he’d be here for the holidays. We can celebrate as a complete family again. Isn’t that great!” Their mother chipperly stated as she took the bags from Ayato’s hands and corralled everyone back into the living room.

              As the parents went to make final preparations at the kitchen they set their boys to the task of fixing up the dinner table. While Ayato and Tatsumi were laying out plates and cutlery the younger man stated his thoughts out loud. “I wasn’t expecting you to visit this year.”

              Tatsumi shrugged, trying to be nonchalant, not making it obvious that he was a tad awkward. “Yeah, I figured it was about time to give you guys a visit.”

              Ayato looked thoughtful for a while longer before finally nodding. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re here, it’ll help mom and dad worry less to see you doing well.”

              “Aww, did you miss me too?” Tatsumi couldn’t help but slip in a little tease towards his little brother, though he felt happy with Ayato’s earlier admission. It’s not everyday that Ayato was open about things like that.

              “Tch. As if. The time without you around was the best time of my life.”

              There’s the typical hot-and-cold tsundere response, but Tatsumi only chuckled, used to his brother’s attitude by now and fully aware that even if his brother didn’t show it he actually did miss Tatsumi. Slipping back into their usual habits made Tatsumi feel at ease, the awkwardness he felt from before had melted away a little.

              Their Christmas dinner proceeded without a hitch and everyone had a good time, even Miiko felt comfortable enough to join in by jumping onto Tatsumi’s lap, much to the young man’s delight and happiness. The family spent the rest of dinner talking, catching up, and telling stories, enjoying the time as a family as much as they could. Seeing everyone’s happy faces made Tatsumi realize how much he missed them even if he was content with his life in Beppu. He makes a conscious decision to visit more often and make time for them even in his busy schedule.

              As the gift giving proceeded they moved to the living room and everyone exchanged gifts. Tatsumi had gotten his mom a stylish scarf handmade in Beppu, something that she could wear now that the colder months were here. And he got his father a miniature set of one of Beppu’s famous hot springs, he knows his father was slowly building back his hobbies and his old man had been sending pictures of his completed miniature projects in their group chat for the past year. For his younger brother Tatsumi bought one of the collector items of the game that Ayato liked, granted it was a while since they talked about it but Tatsumi remembered how excited Ayato was every time a new thing in the game was released.

              Once Ayato opened the present his eyes grew wide, shock obvious in his usually calmer features. “Big brother you- How’d you get this? There’s only twenty of these released!”

              Feeling quite proud of himself Tatsumi allowed a smug smile on his face, answering Ayato’s query. “I had it ordered as soon as it was posted online.”

              “That was three months ago!”

              “Yup, I ordered it back then. I planned to give it to you on your birthday but since I managed to come to Tokyo for the holidays I figured to give it to you now.”

              Ayato was quiet for a moment before he manages to give his brother a flustered thank you. “Thanks big bro. I don’t have a present for you because no one told me you were coming… but I’ll be sure to get you one before you fly back to Beppu.”

              “Aww~ Ayato-kun can be adorable after all.”

              “Your gift is great but I will not hesitate to hit you if you keep that up!” Ayato hissed while Tatsumi merely laughed, truly happy that his brother loved the present he got him.

              The present opening continued and Tatsumi had gotten a plethora of herbal remedies from his mother, most of them for pain relief that she insists he should use especially since he works at a desk job. Tatsumi’s father gave him a brand-new set of kitchen knives which made Tatsumi nearly bawl his eyes out. The family continued to bond while adoring the gifts they got for each other, recounting moments from past holidays that encouraged a good laugh now and then.

-=-=-=-

              Around midnight the festivities have died down to a more peaceful lull, with the dishes washed, the tabled cleaned, and the older parents retiring for bed, this left Tatsumi and Ayato awake. The brothers were relaxing at the living room, idly watching a game show while not really completely paying attention. They had been drinking beer and sake for the past hour, both of them tipsy enough to feel warm and relaxed. It’s through this languid atmosphere that Tatsumi started a conversation that he may or may not regret in the morning.

              “Sooooo~ mom told me you have a new boyfriend now.” Tatsumi starts, voice slurring with the alcohol.

              Ayato blinks away the daze, eyes not looking away from the TV as he replies, “Yeah, what about it?”

              “I don’t know. I guess I was just surprised.”

              “Why?”

              “Because you had Toujou… I mean you had broken up with Toujou-kun.” Tatsumi gestured into the air, as if his hand movements would make his words make more sense than what they mean.

              Ayato raises an eyebrow but still doesn’t look at Tatsumi. “Yeah. That was almost four years ago though. Was I supposed to not move on?”

              Tatsumi frowned, as if sulking about something that Ayato couldn’t understand. “That’s not what I mean. I’m- I guess I wanna ask how’d you move on from Toujou-kun? Weren’t you guys really in love? At least you looked like you were.”

              The younger brother doesn’t understand why Tatsumi is bringing this up now after years of silence. But maybe the alcohol was making his older brother speak things that he’d rather not say when he’s sober. Seeing this as an opportunity to get Tatsumi to answer some questions of his own, Ayato decides to humor his older brother’s questions. And maybe he was a little bit drunk himself, but he rarely gets to speak with his brother about sensitive topics like this so he was taking his chance.

              Ayato turns down the TV’s volume before answering Tatsumi. “We were in love, yeah. It’s not like I agreed to date Toujou just for the fun of it. I did love him. But we were both young back then too. That doesn’t mean the love was fake, but it had faded over time. I guess that’s the best way to describe it?”

              Ayato hasn’t spoken about his break up with Toujou in a while since he’d moved on from it so the details are a bit rough but he could remember the main parts. “Toujou and I grew up after high school, and as we grew up we changed as people. He grew into his own person and I grew into my own identity as well. Somewhere along the time of growing up we grew apart. And when we both noticed that our relationship wasn’t growing with us we decided to call it off.”

              Tatsumi was quiet, which wasn’t unusual, but he was obviously listening to everything that Ayato was saying with close attention.

              Encouraged, Ayato continued to talk. “It sucked at first. ‘Cause what do you do when the person you spent the majority of your younger years and early adult life with suddenly isn’t there anymore? But the break up also allowed us not to grow resentful of each other, which could have happened if we stayed in the relationship even when we knew it wasn’t working. Breaking up allowed us to grow better individually. Toujou improved in his career and so did I.”

              The younger man kept his eyes forward while he continued to talk. “We loved each other, I don’t doubt that. But we also loved each other enough to realize when it was time to let each other go. I’m still thankful for the time we spent together, for what we had. But I’m not going to let that keep me from living my life. I feel bad that things had to end, but I don’t regret choosing what was best for both of us.” Ayato cleared his throat, not used to speaking out his mind this plainly, especially not around his older brother. “Anyway, Toujou is most likely living his best life now, wherever he is nowadays.”

              “I see.” Tatsumi nodded solemnly, staying quiet for a minute.

              The extended silence somehow irks Ayato a bit, enough to push him to speak. “Why did you ask?”

              This time it was Tatsumi who begun talking. “I guess I was always curious about what happened between you two. I just didn’t push anything because I saw how uncomfortable it made you, or how you obviously avoided the topic and didn’t want to talk about it.” Tatsumi shrugged half-heartedly even as Ayato now turned towards him with a shocked expression, not expecting his older brother to outrightly answer with honesty.

              Tatsumi picks at the dotted fabric on his sleeve, avoiding eye contact. “Um. Thanks for answering my question. And how long have you been dating your current boyfriend?”

              “I- uhm- I’ve been dating him for half a year now.”

              “Oh that’s nice. You better bring him over some time. Especially while I’m here in Tokyo.” Tatsumi teased with a sly grin.

              “H-huh? Why?!”

              “As your older brother I have to vet your boyfriend of course. No brother of mine is going to date with a complete jackass if I have to say anything about it.”

              “I don’t need your approval to date someone!” Ayato argued, face flushed with embarrassment, but also slightly touched by his brother’s concern.

              “I’ll bribe mom with chocolate so she can force you to bring your boyfriend next time.”

              “You! Y-you’re so annoying!” Ayato bemoaned even as he laughed at the image of his brother bribing their mother to do such a silly thing.

              Tatsumi chuckled along and waited for Ayato to calm down before he stated, “On a serious note though I’d be glad to be there when you introduce your boyfriend to mom and dad. Just to make sure.” He added a playful grin at the end.

              At this genuine sentiment Ayato’s smile slowly wanes and he gets an apologetic look on his face, an expression that Tatsumi rarely gets to see.

              Tatsumi gave his brother a curious stare, sobering up a little at the sudden change. “What’s wrong?”

              “I- Ah how do I say this, give me a moment to gather my thoughts.” Ayato explained, not meeting Tatsumi’s eyes.

              Meanwhile Tatsumi tried to blink away the haze of alcohol from his brain, and he stares at Ayato. His younger brother has sure grown up a lot, it feels like it was only yesterday when Ayato was still in high school and floundering through his new relationship and school life, back when Tatsumi tried to dissuade Ayato from getting into a relationship by stating that Toujou’s confession must’ve been due to confusion from puberty or something along those lines of bullshit that Tatsumi made up on the spot. There was no ill intention there, just a misdirected solution for his concern for Ayato and in extension Tatsumi’s own safety from the whims of the universe. But in the end he couldn’t do anything about the way the BL plot was going to develop between Ayato and Toujou.

              That’s why their break up had taken him by surprise. If the universe was following BL tropes why go through with the childhood friends to lovers trope if the couple was just going to end up separated in the end? What benefits were to be had in that arrangement? Was this another BL trope that Tatsumi wasn’t aware of? A more modern take to add to the plot of lovers eventually reuniting after breaking up for a while? Or does the universe merely keep flags raised between compatible lovers and those flags get taken away when they’re no longer compatible?

              Tatsumi’s eyes get glassy by the amount of theories he was crafting within his mind, one assumption arising after the other. It’s been a while since his brain had to think like this so the overload of information was to be expected.

              “You always do that…”

              Ayato’s voice snaps Tatsumi from his inner monologue and he sees Ayato staring at him now. Confused, Tatsumi asks, “Always do what?”

              “You get lost in thought, like a lot. Most times I can never tell where your head’s at and that makes me a bit angry. Or I guess more frustrated.”

              The honesty once more catches Tatsumi off guard and he’s left without a proper quick reply. With the silence Ayato scratched the back of his head and sighed, going ahead with his explanation. “It’s a bit hard for me to understand you big brother, and I know when we were younger that was completely ok. But now that we’re adults and we have to talk about important stuff I want to understand you even a little bit and vice versa. Not that we need to be chummy or super close, I like how we bond as we are it’s just- What I’m getting at is I can’t measure or assume how you’d react to things even now as we’re older even if I’d like to.”

              Ayato shrugged and turned back to the TV, feeling more comfortable talking without direct eye contact. “That’s why I didn’t tell you about my new relationship.”

              The new information makes Tatsumi pause, the gears in his brain slowly turning until it registered. “Wait- You were worried about what I would think about you and your current partner?? Why? I know I said it would be nice to be there when you introduce him to mom and dad, but I wouldn’t be against your relationship if it’s a healthy one.”

              Ayato opened and closed his mouth a few times, the words getting stuck in his throat, not quite making it out without making Ayato stutter. Tatsumi allowed Ayato to speak up when he was ready, he can recognize how important this was for his brother.

              Finally after a minute of floundering, Ayato seems to have gotten control over his thoughts and he begins to talk. “I was worried because the guy I’m dating is Hatano.”

              “Hatano.” Tatsumi repeats blankly.

              Ayato nods. “Hatano Ryuuji.”

              The name hung in the air for a merciful silent second before the information sunk in and Tatsumi nearly fell off the couch.

              “EHHHHH?!”

              “Brother keep your voice down!” Hatano whisper shouts, covering his brother’s loud mouth with both hands.

              Tatsumi was too shocked to move but he thankfully didn’t shout further. Although he did continue to be shell-shocked until Ayato at last pulled his hands away, allowing the older man his space to talk.

              “I didn’t expect that at all- Wow- I um- Nice- Ehm… Congratulations?” Tatsumi gave an awkward smile and a thumbs up that only made Ayato do a facepalm.

              “I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” Ayato’s face flushed with embarrassment and he stood up to leave.

              “Wait.” Tatsumi was fast enough to grab on to the corner of Ayato’s shirt to keep him still. “I meant what I said. Congratulations on your new relationship and- ah thank you for telling me.”

              At the unexpected response, Ayato’s tension quickly bleeds out from his shoulders, the snippy retorts dropping away from his mouth, and he slumps back onto the couch, the fight leaving his frame without a chance to ignite. Ayato knew he struggles with emotional honesty, not in romantic relationships, but with his family. And he’s never been emotionally close to his older brother, but he doesn’t hate the guy, not at all. If anything Ayato looks up to his brother and wishes that they had spent more time interacting before Tatsumi went off to college and Ayato entered high school. He wanted to be closer to Tatsumi, to get to a point where they could easily talk about vulnerable and serious stuff without alcohol as a buffer. Sadly, that’s not how their relationship had grown and that wasn’t anyone’s fault. It’s just Ayato’s trait to not be outrightly expressive of his true feelings, he knows he hides behind denials and some harsh words when his true emotions rise to the surface, and he’s been working on that.

              Ayato didn’t want to screw over what connection he had with Tatsumi left all because Ayato couldn’t be mature about it and talk it out. Once more it was Tatsumi being the bigger person and the more mature one between them, even when he was the one put in an awkward spot. He should be more considerate, he can’t leave the conversation like this. What if they never get to talk like this again? Deciding to be a mature adult, Ayato took a calming breath and quickly thought about what he should talk through. In the end he decides to just say what’s been on his mind, no more beating around the bush.

              “I was afraid you’d feel weird if I told you I was dating Hatano now. After all he’s been so in love with you for years. I didn’t want to make our relationship as brothers awkward because I ended up dating him. That’s the main reason why I wasn’t able to tell you.”

              “Ayato…” Tatsumi saw how torn up his younger brother was over the matter. Ayato must’ve been worrying for a long time before today. Maybe he was still worried that Tatsumi would be upset over it? Tatsumi couldn’t explain what he was feeling in the moment but he was sure there was a relief that comforted him. “I’m not upset. And I’m not weirded out by you dating Hatano. Actually, I’m kind of relieved to know that it’s someone that I’m already familiar with. Back then Hatano seemed to be a good kid. There must be a reason why you’re dating him now, right?”

              Ayato nods, he hesitated a moment before deciding to keep the conversation rolling. “I got to meet him during a cooperative project with another company at work. He was working on an indie game that my team was assigned to help develop. At first we were just acquaintances but over the past two years of working together we got close and I fell for him. At some point Hatano confessed and I reciprocated, then we started dating.” Ayato raised his eyes from where he was previously staring a hole into the ground, he turns to his brother with hopeful eyes. “You’re really not upset about this?”

              Tatsumi let out an exasperated sigh, recognizing the gaze that Ayato gave him, one he saw frequently when they were kids. The look of a younger brother who just wanted his older brother’s approval. Tatsumi felt fondness bloom within his chest, along with a nagging thought in the back of his mind. “I’m not upset. Why would I be? Hatano was the one who was dead set on confessing to me, but I don’t like him like that, not even now. I’m truly glad you were able to find someone.”

              Ayato looked like he was about to cry from the peace of mind that Tatsumi’s answer gave him. However, Tatsumi took his chance as soon as he was able, ripping the band aid now that he had the opportunity. He tries to pass it off nonchalantly. “Besides, you’re not the only one who was worried about how his brother would react.”

              “Huh?”

              “After all I’ve fallen for someone who is my brother’s ex. I think I take the cake for being in the most awkward situation between the two of us, right? Haha.”

              As a repeat of earlier there’s a beat of silence before Ayato jumps out of his seat.

              “YOU LIKE TOUJOU?!!!”

-=-=-=-

              It took a long moment for Tatsumi to calm Ayato enough to explain everything that had happened, making it short but concise. Meanwhile Ayato wore the most shocked expression Tatsumi has seen on him so far, absorbing the information down to the last word.

              “So let me get this straight. My brother likes my ex. And I am dating my brother’s past admirer… Wow. This feels like a plot to an anime or a manga. It doesn’t feel real.” Ayato speaks out loud, currently leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

              “Tell me about it.” Tatsumi groans, covering his face with his hands after the reality of what he’s told his brother got through his drunk mind. “I can’t believe I told you all that.”

              “For what it’s worth I’m glad you did.”

              “Eh?”

              “Well otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see the side of my brother that he’s hidden for so long.” Ayato smirked. “You can be awfully cute when you’re flustered.”

              Tatsumi felt a vein pop in his temple. “Why you-“

              “Why haven’t you confessed yet?” Ayato continued their conversation, unwilling to let the matter rest like it never happened.

              “What do you mean why? You obviously know why. I can’t date my brother’s ex-“

              “Yes, you can.” Ayato deadpanned, grabbing a snack from the table that went ignored until now, popping a piece into his mouth.

              Tatsumi was beyond confused. “What-“

              “I don’t mind it. I don’t find it weird. It doesn’t upset me.” Ayato shrugged. “I mean I’m dating someone who loved and adored you, I think we’re past normal situations at this point. And why not shoot your shot? It sounds like you two have gotten really close.”

              “That’s not- I don’t want to ruin the friendship me and Toujou have. I don’t even know if Toujou-kun would appreciate it if his ex’s brother suddenly confessed to him. That’s just weird, right?” Tatsumi reasoned, feeling more upset with this reality than he thought he would be now that he said it out loud.

              Ayato finished the pack of chips before answering. “It’s true that you don’t know how Toujou would react. But it sounds to me like you both built a solid friendship and you’ve got decent communication. Toujou’s not one to let a rejection affect his friendship with the person.”

              Even with Ayato’s assurance Tatsumi still appeared troubled and unsure, which Ayato wasn’t used to seeing. A beat of silence followed and Ayato spoke up again. “Shouldn’t you at least try to discuss this with him?”

              Tatsumi resolutely shook his head. “I can’t.”

              “You’re ok with leaving things like this? Are you sure that’s fine?”

              “It’s not like anyone would want to be with me anyway. It’s fine. I’ll get over these feelings soon enough. As long as I don’t do anything they’ll fade eventually.” Tatsumi spouted, not realizing what his drunk mouth was allowing him to say.

              The first sentence did not escape Ayato’s keen ears, he sets aside the empty bag on the table, and sits straighter. “You know big brother I could compare life to a game where there are multiple options for choices. Right now you’re at a crossroads, one path to the left and one path to the right. You’re unsure where each path is leading you to, but during times like this you can always trust your gut instinct, or in this case you can trust in your heart. No matter what results your choice ends up with you can always think of a way to deal with it after making that choice. You can’t move forward if you stay still.”

              Ayato shifted in his seat to face his brother. “Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. I mean back when Toujou and I broke up I thought I’d be single for the rest of my life, but here I am, dating the most unexpected person of all. Hatano makes me happier than I thought, and that wouldn’t have happened if neither of us took the chance to confess to the other.”

              Tatsumi stayed silent but he was still listening so Ayato decided to keep talking.

              “Planning ahead is fine, but it can only get you so far. You can’t predict the future, nobody can. Life comes with many surprises that we would not be able to predict even with our best technology today. Whether in a game or in real life, choices will have to be made one way or another.” Ayato’s voice turns somber. “A friend talked to me before Hatano and I got together, I was also in your shoes back then, an indecisive wreck. But my friend told me something that I would never forget and it got me to really think about my situation and to make my own decision. Are you really ok with letting this chance pass you by? Are you ok with living for the rest of your life carrying the regret of never trying in the first place?”

              Tatsumi stayed silent, letting Ayato’s words and the weight of it sit longer for consideration and deeper thought. Recognizing that his brother needed the time for himself Ayato pats his brother on the back and then stood up. “I think I’ve said what I needed to say. Thanks for the talk big brother. I’ll go ahead and turn in for the night. And you can talk to me anytime, I mean it.” He left that offer with good intentions, hoping that they can talk about this further when Tatsumi was ready, letting his brother know that he was available to talk to and vent to if needed.

              Tatsumi nodded. “Thank you. I’ll let you know in the morning, for now I have a lot to think about.”

              Ayato gave his brother one last pat on the back and headed to one of the free rooms. Tatsumi on the other hand didn’t feel sleepy at all, the conversation had sobered him up quite exponentially and he had a lot to think through and consider. Although, he supposes that his conversation with his brother had gone better than he had expected. It was good that Ayato wasn’t weirded out by Tatsumi’s current feelings for Toujou. Tatsumi was more surprised with Ayato accepting the information so easily, granted the new information about Ayato dating Hatano was also just as unexpected. Still, Tatsumi meant what he said, he didn’t find that odd at all.

              ‘So why are you so hung up on the possibility of you dating Toujou?’

              ‘Shouldn’t you be happy that Ayato is ok with it?’

              ‘Why don’t you try talking to Toujou?’

              ‘Are you that afraid?’

              Tatsumi heaves a sigh, words popping up in his head in rapid succession, it feels like the beginnings of a headache. He gives up thinking for now, he’s too drunk and too tired. He cleans up and tries to prepare for bed, hoping that after having decent rest he can think things through better when he wakes up.

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

             The Toujou family had a household tradition, during the winter holidays they would always head to the beach. It was something randomly decided by Mr. Toujou when Iori was just five years old and Fumiko was three. Mrs. Toujou easily agreed to it since it seemed like a fun activity to do as a family. This year they stayed true to that arrangement and headed to the seaside in the early morning of December 25 with everything they needed stuffed into the trunk of the car. The family of four got to the beach right as the sun was rising, the warm rays a golden glow over the blue waves, the sunlight kissing the sand into golden brown.

             After they found a nice spot on the sandy beach they neatly set up the things they needed and had a grand time, enjoying the day before the beach would eventually get crowded. They did barbeques, swam in the cold ocean, and they even found space to do the classic game of splitting the watermelon on the beach with a stick and a blindfold on. Iori had gotten the hit on the watermelon on the first try much to Fumiko’s pouting and Iori’s amusement.

             Everyone had a blast and Iori had pretty much gone through the whole day unaware of the stares he was getting from various people at the beach. Usually he’d be noticing the attention by now, but his head was currently occupied by one person and one person only. That person had been the content of his thoughts frequently even if Tatsumi wasn’t here. Fumiko on the other hand did see the wandering eyes that lingered on her brother, a flare of protectiveness urged her to pull Iori away from the areas where the crowd was growing larger, people unsubtly ogling at her brother. If only she could tell them to buzz off because her brother was already taken. Even if it technically wasn’t true yet, no one could deny that her sibling was utterly smitten with his crush and she didn’t want any strangers butting in where they weren’t needed nor wanted. They found a quieter spot not too far away from their stuff and Fumiko started building a sandcastle with Iori easily following her lead.

             “I think Tatsumi-san would love a day at the beach.” Iori commented out of the blue as they put the finishing touches on their newly built sandcastle, a selection of seashells making up the windows of the tall towers that flanked the main castle.

             “Do you plan to take him to a beach?” Fumiko asked, dusting off the remaining sand from her hands.

             “If he wants to. I would love to bring him to one.”

             Fumiko barely stops herself from teasing her brother when she sees how bright his smile was. Meanwhile, Iori was oblivious to his sister’s entertained stare, lost in his thoughts. He was sure Tatsumi would be delighted to spend a relaxing day with the calm ocean breeze, the gentle ebb and flow of the waves, and the soft sand under his feet. Iori goes as far as imagining Tatsumi in summer shorts, soaked head to toe from swimming in the briny waters, and smiling with happiness like a blooming lavender in a meadow.

              ‘I’ll try to ask him when I see him again.’

              Soon the day draws to a close with a grandiose burst of warm colors on the horizon where the sky meets the sea. Fumiko has a cold drink in hand and a soda can on the other while she approached her brother, seated at one of the blankets on the sand. She hands him the soda and Iori takes it with a thanks. Fumiko took a seat beside her brother and noticed how he was staring listlessly at the sunset and the ocean.

              “What’re you thinking of?”

              “Ah, I was just lost in thought.”

              “Mhmm. About?”

              Iori’s eyes softened, the reflected light from the shimmering waters cast a contrast to his form that made him look somber. “I should’ve just talked to him when we saw each other before he headed home for the holidays.”

              Fumiko didn’t need a name to know who Iori was talking about. “You said he needed his space though.”

              “Yes, but it wouldn’t have hurt to just ask him what I had been wanting to ask at that moment. Maybe we would have separated on better and less awkward terms.” Iori heaves a sigh filled with longing and starts tracing nonsensical patterns on the sand. “I miss him.”

              Fumiko huffs with an understanding chuckle, “You really like him huh?”

              “I think I love him Fumiko.” The words were stated without confusion or a stutter, Iori spoke with his whole chest, self-assured by what he felt.

              “All the more reason to patch things up and to let him know, right?”

              Iori agrees easily with a nod, looking forward to going back home to Tatsumi, back at their own little paradise in Beppu, and to finally tell his friend what he wanted to say for over a year now.

-=-=-=-

              Evening had rolled around, the Toujou Family had packed all their stuff and were ready to go home. Iori volunteered to drive them back home while their parents can rest in the backseat. Fumiko took the passenger side. The drive back home would take a couple of hours and she was there to make sure Iori stayed awake behind the wheel. Once they started their journey back home their parents were out like a light, leaning on each other, covered by a thin blanket, and sleeping soundly. The day’s activities evidently exhausted them.

              Fumiko made sure to speak in softer tones as she engaged in conversation with her brother. “Hey older brother what else do you have in planned for the holidays? You’re staying for two more weeks, right?”

              “Yes, I’ll be here in Tokyo until the middle of the second week of January. I have some places I’d like to check out while I’m here but I’ll spend most of the time at home so we can do anything you have in mind as well.”

              “Awesome! We can have a movie marathon and play games like we used too. Mom and dad would like that.”

              “That sounds perfect.” Then Iori remembered something. “Oh and my old college buddies called me, asking me to meet up with them if I was available before I had to head back to Beppu.”

              Fumiko perked up. “Your old biker buddies?”

              “Yes, the same ones. They invited me to ride motorcycles with them.”

              “Woah, the gang’s still intact?”

              “Well, the original gang had different people quitting and joining through the years so it’s not exactly the same.” The older man continued. “But Arashi and Kito still hang around with the gang and ride their bikes frequently. They’re the ones who asked me to go with them when I told them I was here in Tokyo.”

              “That sounds fun. I wish I knew how to ride a motorcycle so I could join you guys.”

              “You can still join us, you’d just have to hitch a ride with either Kito or Arashi. I could ask them for you.” Iori offered.

              The younger sister thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. “Thanks but I’ll decline. It’s your reunion with your friends after all, you gotta enjoy the meetup as friends.”

              “Alright, but the offer still stands if you ever change your mind.”

              “Thanks older brother.” Then Fumiko asked, “But didn’t you leave your bike in Beppu?”

              “Arashi offered to let me borrow one of his bikes.” Iori explained with a smile. “He must’ve really missed me if he’s letting me borrow one of his babies.”

              “To be fair it has been years when you last saw each other, and Arashi-san seems to be a very close friend, Kito-san too. Of course, they missed you.”

              Fumiko encouraged her brother to go enjoy his vacation with his friends. Iori didn’t need much convincing, he was looking forward to burning rubber with his friends again, especially since he didn’t know when he would be visiting Tokyo again. He can’t wait to see his friends.

              The drive home soon came to an end and the family reached home safely.

-=-=-[December 26]-=-=-

              Tatsumi woke up with a headache and a slight hangover, he dragged himself to the bathroom to freshen up. It’s only after he washed the sweat and oil off his face that the memories from last night filtered in through his cloudy brain. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment at having bared his heart out to his sibling in his drunken ramblings. He started debating if it was too late to cut his plans short and just head back to Beppu today.

              Stop running away.

              Shaking his head, Tatsumi turned off the tap and reached for the nearest towel on the upper shelf to wipe away the water from his face. He didn’t enjoy cycling through the same things over and over again, he thought he could push away the possibility of having to confront his feelings while he was on vacation. Sadly, the conversation with Ayato from last night had confirmed a lot of his fears and Tatsumi wasn’t sure how he felt now. Perhaps a mixture of relief and trepidation all at once.

              A part of him wanted to continue pretending that nothing was amiss, but the other part of him just wanted to get things over with, to speak his mind and see what happens after that. Because Ayato was right. If Tatsumi stayed in place and refused to make a choice he’s going to be stuck in one place for a long time, nothing is going to get solved because Tatsumi was standing still. There were thousands of times when Tatsumi wished things had stayed simple, however that’s not how life turned out for him. Sure, he could spend all day cursing the powers of the universe that presumably put him in this position, get angry and shout out all his frustrations at the sky with a shaking fist. But he’s here now. He can’t turn back time or undo anything no matter how strongly he wished for it.

              Deep inside Tatsumi already knew what he had truly wanted to do, he has known maybe since the first time he had realized that he likes Toujou. It was his hang ups about what he knew of this universe and his own fear that held him back. But was he willing to live like this for the rest of his life? Stuck in the same place, overthinking, and choosing not to move forward? What future would he have with a decision like that?

              You have to make a choice.

              Tatsumi stares at himself in the mirror, trying to gauge himself if he wanted to listen to his heart or his mind. His eyes stared back with the same confusion he’s felt for more than a month by now. The young man ends up closing his eyes, shutting away any visual aids and digs deep within himself, focusing on the innermost thoughts and desires.

              Unsurprisingly, Toujou’s smile is the first thing that pops up in his mind’s eye, making Tatsumi suck in a sharp intake of breath accompanied with the beginning flush of warmth on his cheeks, this time born from affection within. Tatsumi opens his eyes and looks back at himself in the mirror, whispering in resignation, “I think you already have your answer.”

-=-=-=-

              After the eye-opening “pep talk” in the bathroom Tatsumi made his way to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. He was slowly drinking from his cup when Ayato entered the kitchen. The younger man heading straight to the coffee machine and started making himself a cup of coffee.

              “Good morning.” Ayato greeted without fanfare even if it was past lunch time already. His casual approach meant that he wasn’t letting last night’s conversation change how he normally interacted with his sibling.

              “Morning. Where’s mom and dad?” Tatsumi asked, massaging his forehead from the headache that was slowly disappearing.

              “They went for a walk this morning. They haven’t come back yet, but they were talking about a New Year’s resolution jumpstart before the new year started, something like that.” Ayato briefly explained. Since it was nearly one in the afternoon he took a container from the fridge. “Do you want some dumplings for late lunch?”

              “Uh sure.” Tatsumi groggily walked to the dining table and took a seat, drinking the rest of his water gradually while Ayato heated up their meal in the microwave. “So last night wasn’t a dream? We really talked about all of that?”

              “Yup. I told you about Hatano and I. You confessed about your undying love for Toujou.”

              “Ugh shut up.” Tatsumi covered his face as it erupted in a bright red flush for the umpteenth time that day. Ayato cackled in the background.

              The dumplings didn’t take long to heat up. Ayato brought it over along with his coffee, then he brought their plates and chopsticks. With everything set he sat across his moping brother. “Here eat up. You’re not you when you’re hungover and hungry.”

              Tatsumi rolled his eyes but replies anyway, “Thanks.”

              The two brothers started eating in relative silence, allowing the moment to be calm while they ate. It was only until the last bite was taken and the final piece of dumpling consumed that they resumed their chat.

              Ayato spoke first. “Have you thought about it?”

              “Yes. I decided not to keep denying my feelings for him anymore. But I need more time to get used to it first before I make any further moves.” Tatsumi rubbed his neck and confessed. “I’ve never liked a guy before. Toujou’s the first man I’ve felt attracted to.”

              “And it’s making you question yourself?” Ayato provided helpfully when Tatsumi paused for too long.

              Tatsumi nodded. “It’s all so new and I don’t want to rush anything. And there are things I have to settle first before anything else.” He had to mend the awkward gap between their friendship first, but at least now he had a goal and he wasn’t dragging his feet. His voice started getting more confident as he continued talking. “But I will continue to take this seriously. And I’m going to stop running away from my own emotions. When I’m ready, truly ready, I’ll tell Toujou how I feel.”

              Ayato beamed with pride upon hearing his brother’s words, even if Tatsumi glowed redder than a tomato after he spoke his mind. The younger brother gave a nod of approval. “I’m glad to hear that. It’s perfectly normal to want to take your time with things like this, especially since it’s something new to you. I’m just glad you’re not denying yourself anymore and that you’re willing to give it a chance.”

              Tatsumi subtly tried to hide his reaction as he took a sip of water, unfamiliar with the change but not hating this blunt honesty from his brother. “Well, I couldn’t have done it without our conversation last night, so…thanks for that, Ayato.”

              “Any time big bro.” Ayato finished his cup of coffee and then asked, “What’re your plans for the rest of the holidays?”

              “I was planning to stay here with mom and dad until I have to head back to Beppu.”

              Ayato’s blank stare felt like it could burn holes into Tatsumi’s face.

              “What??” Tatsumi squawked indignantly.

              “That sounds boring as hell. You came all the way back to Tokyo just to laze around our parents’ house?”

              “Well, Mii-chan is here too!”

              “Go out and meet up with your friends or something! Mingle! Socialize! You can’t just spend your entire holiday cooped up in here.”

              “Oh yeah? Watch me.”

              Ayato glared. “If I didn’t have somewhere I have to be tonight I would have dragged you out so we can go to the carnival that opened nearby.” Then Ayato quickly muttered under his breath. “Well I guess I can just take you there tomorrow with mom and dad.”

              Ayato nodded to himself. “Ok it’s settled. You can laze around for today, but I’ll come back tomorrow and we’re all going to the carnival together.”

              “Hey!” Tatsumi couldn’t even get out a protest since Ayato quickly scooped up all of their dishes and dumped them into the sink, moving swiftly.

              “Oh look at the time. I need to go. Don’t forget to prepare for tomorrow. I’ll be here at ten o’clock sharp! No excuses!” And with that rushed announcement Ayato exited the house, leaving behind a slightly confused and annoyed Tatsumi.

              “Don’t just decide things on your own!” He shouted at the already closed door.

              Although Tatsumi was exasperated at his brother’s antics he couldn’t find it in himself to truly be mad, instead he felt touched by Ayato’s insistence to spend time together and for Tatsumi to enjoy his vacation to the fullest. Tatsumi figures that he can also give more effort on spending the holiday with his family in more settings than just staying at home with them. He also started considering if he should send a message to any of his friends that were in Tokyo. It has been a while since they met up although they have kept in contact with their semi-active group chat, even with Tatsumi moving all the way to Beppu they continued to talk there. Tatsumi figures he’ll text them later on, he still has two weeks left in Tokyo after all.

-=-=-=-

              The holidays flew by within the blink of an eye. Luckily Tatsumi did make the most of his vacation with his family. After Ayato dragged the entire family to the fun carnival, the younger sibling scheduled a hot spring trip for all of them at a nearby resort for three days and two nights. Their parents were ecstatic and Tatsumi was happy to chip in to help with the expenses even though Ayato insisted that he didn’t have to. Throughout those three days they relaxed in the hot springs and got to stroll around the bamboo park in the resort that had lots of leisure activities which they participated in. There was a massage package that came with their reservations that everyone made use of while they were there. By the end of the third day everyone was pampered, fully relaxed, and rejuvenated. They went home satisfied and ready to face the world and whatever it threw at them with a smile and a well recovered body.

              Afterwards the next few days were busy with Tatsumi and his family preparing the stuff they needed in order to go visit their grandparents, his paternal side since his mother’s parents had already passed away when he was still a kid. Grandpa and grandma didn’t live too far away but they did move to the outskirts of Tokyo where they were closer to the quiet side of the city. The family decided to celebrate New Year’s Eve with them and be there until the morning of January 2^nd, hence there were a lot of things they needed to pack up. Tatsumi and Ayato were given the task of buying the food they needed from the grocery while mom and dad would pack all the stuff they needed from the house. With four people working together they were able to quickly get things ready and they were on their way by evening time with Ayato driving the car.

              Grandma and grandpa were so happy to see that Tatsumi had arrived with the rest of the family. They gave him tight hugs and cheek pinches in slight retaliation because he hasn’t visited in so long. Tatsumi hugged them back and allowed all the pinching he could stand, smiling ear to ear when he sees them as healthy as ever. The entire family had a filling dinner and the festive atmosphere lasted for days, well into New Year’s Eve and even the New Year. They ate Toshikoshi soba to cut off bad luck from the past year, Tatsumi doesn’t really believe in these superstitions but he’s willing to do anything to make sure this new year started well so he participated in what tradition he could. They also had osechi ryori, a multi-course meal, which called forth good fortune and prosperity.

              At the morning of the new year, everyone woke up and ate an early breakfast so they could go to the shrine and pray. As Tatsumi stood at the shrine with his family, he thought about what he should pray for. He sees his family throw in the donations into the saisen box and begin to pray, Tatsumi followed suit. He placed his donation into the saisen, put his hands together, closed his eyes, and repeated his wish in his head.

              ‘I wish health and prosperity on my family and friends this year. And I wish for courage to finally tell Toujou how I truly feel.’

              The bells rang crisp in the morning air, the sun rose beautifully over the horizon, and the new year started with a wave of positivity.

              By the time January 2^nd rolled around Tatsumi, Ayato, and their parents successfully helped the grandparents with all the cleanup, then they headed back home after warm goodbyes and with promises to visit again.

              The rest of the remaining vacation days were filled with Tatsumi doing landscaping with his mom in the garden at their home backyard, helping his father do house maintenance, helping his mom with house chores, and then assisting his father with assembling the miniature that he had gifted. Tatsumi was happy to tell his father the history of the spring that the miniature was modeled off of and they spent the rest of the afternoon doing that until mom called them for dinner.

              Sadly, Tatsumi hadn’t managed to meet up with his friend group because they were all busy with their own plans. Scheduling things last minute was rough on everyone, but they did promise to do a video call the day before Tatsumi was going to head back to Beppu. And fortunately that did push through with only two of them being late, but all of them making the effort already meant so much to Tatsumi, he didn’t mind if anyone was late to show up. They all caught up with each other. Takimoto and Akihito were planning to buy their own house now instead of renting an apartment. Youji and Masaya were planning to move out of Tokyo as soon as either of them were able to find a job from the regions that they had in mind. Everything was going well until it came for Tatsumi’s turn to tell them what he was up to.

              “Oh you know, the usual. I’m focusing on my career.” He tried to say it simply so they could move on to other topics.

              Masaya piped up, “Still no plans of dating?” A question that Youji smacked him on the head for asking so bluntly, all of them knew how the last relationship went. “Ouch! I was just curious!”

              Tatsumi sighed. “It’s fine. Well I’m-“ He nearly said he wasn’t planning on dating, but that would be a blatant lie. He wanted to date but considering his current situation and his friendship with Toujou still in a weird position he had lots of stuff to go through first.

              The pause was long enough for Akihito to point out with a grin. “Oh? Is there actually someone you’re seeing?”

                “Eh?? Really?! Who? When? Is she in Beppu too?” Masaya was quickly muffled by Youji covering his blithering mouth.

              “I’m not dating anyone as of the moment.” Tatsumi finished blandly, not willing to spill any beans especially to these gossips. He liked his friends but he also knows how some of them couldn’t keep secrets nor hold their tongues.

              Takimoto mercifully noted that Tatsumi was done talking, ever the mature one he steers the conversation into something else and he does it so seamlessly that Tatsumi was grateful for it. The chat continued without further incident until everyone had to go and they stated their goodbyes. Youji and Masaya had already left the call, soon followed by Akihito who said he needed to check on the pastry he was baking. But before Tatsumi ended the call he heard Takimoto say one last thing.

              “Whatever it is you’re going through, know that we’re rooting for you.”

              Tatsumi wasn’t even surprised that Takimoto noticed. The lavender-haired man gave his most reassuring smile. “Thanks Takimoto. I appreciate it. All the best to you both.”

              “Thanks and likewise.”

              And with that the call ended. Surrounded by such support from friends and family, Tatsumi couldn’t help but feel more and more confident with what he has to do. He sets aside his phone and lies down on the couch to relax. Mii-chan then strolls over and jumps onto his prone form, making biscuits on his soft tummy before Mii-chan decides to curl up and sleep right there. This made Tatsumi’s day even better and he took it as a positive sign.

              He plans for the next time he sees Toujou. They’re going to clear the air and get their friendship back to normal. And when Tatsumi’s ready he can perhaps plan out a special place where they can have fun and have dinner. That’s when he can finally confess. Until then Tatsumi will have to make sure his confidence doesn’t waver and that his decision was set.

              He can do this.

-=-=-=-

              The two weeks come to a close, signifying Tatsumi’s time in Tokyo at an end for now. He has his train ride back to Beppu scheduled tomorrow so his family was planning a hot pot dinner later tonight for him. Tatsumi was carefully packing his clothes and the stuff he received as gifts, making sure that the fragile items were secured and padded. He was nervous but also excited to head back home, knowing that he had a long overdue conversation to be had with his friend. He was just thinking of how to open up the topic when his phone began to ring.

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              The unexpected news came upon Tatsumi through the unsuspecting form of a phone call. Tatsumi was packing all his stuff for his trip back to Beppu scheduled tomorrow morning when his phone rang, catching his attention.

              He answered the call without looking at the caller’s name. “Hello?”

              “Big brother are you still at our parents’ house?” It was Ayato and he sounded a bit shaken up.

              Immediately sensing something was wrong, Tatsumi stopped what he was doing and focused on the conversation. “Yeah, I am. What’s the matter Ayato? Are you ok?”

              “I’m fine. But I just received news that Toujou got into an accident. Fumiko, his younger sister, sent me a text earlier. They rushed him to the hospital.”

              Tatsumi felt his heart fall into his stomach, his hands and face immediately felt cold, blood draining from his extremities.

              “Which hospital?” There was no moment to hesitate now, Tatsumi jotted down the location and practically flew out of the door and got a taxi to get there as quick as possible.

              A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, dread, worry, regrets, but the loudest of them all were his wishes and prayers that asked for Toujou to be alright. His heart pounded in distress, his hands clutched so tight together were pale and clammy, all while he resisted the urge to plead with the taxi driver to go faster. The travel must’ve taken merely twenty minutes but to Tatsumi it felt like hours, mind whirling with the unknown results of the circumstance. Once the taxi reached the hospital Tatsumi paid his fare and immediately made his way to the emergency area. Tatsumi was breathing hard from all the running but when he reached the ER he realized that he had no idea where Toujou was. Luckily, even in his panic he had enough sense to go to what looked to be an information desk.

              He approached and asked the person manning the station, “Hello. I’m looking for Toujou- uh Toujou Iori. He should be a patient that was just rushed to the ER around 30 minutes ago. Tall, blonde, male, has blue eyes.” Tatsumi quickly rattled off the details with increasing speed. The nurse looked confused for a moment and was about to ask him to repeat the details when someone else spoke up.

              “Are you looking for Toujou Iori?” The feminine voice was unfamiliar, but the mention of Toujou’s name caught the older man’s attention.

              When Tatsumi turned to face the person speaking he was caught a bit off guard when he was met with a female version of Toujou. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin.

              Tatsumi managed to talk past the short moment of shock. “Uhm, y-yes. I am.”

              “Come on. I’ll take you to where he’s at.” The kind stranger offered and Tatsumi gave a quick bow to the nurse at the desk before following the lady, his worry overpowering his common sense of stranger-danger.

              “H-how is Toujou-kun doing?” He couldn’t stop the shaking of his voice, the adrenaline surge catching up to him.

              “We’re not sure yet. He’s undergoing observation as we speak. They rushed him into the ICU when they got here.”

              Upon hearing that Toujou was in critical care Tatsumi’s heart clenched painfully, at that point it felt like he’d faint from the news. But he pulled himself together. “I see. I-I’m sorry. Where are my manners- I’m Tatsumi, a uhm- Toujou’s coworker and friend. And uh- Ayato’s brother.”

              “Ah yes. Ayato-kun informed me you’d be arriving that’s why I waited by the information desk. I didn’t expect you to be here this fast. I’m Iori’s younger sister, Fumiko. It’s nice to finally meet you Tatsumi-san.”

              Finally?

              “I’ve heard about you from older brother and Ayato-kun back when they were still together.” She paused when they reached the waiting area near the ICU and she gestured for him to take a seat as she sat down. “It might come as a surprise but Ayato-kun and I still stay in contact. Which is why I sent him the message earlier. Though I didn’t expect him to send his older brother here.”

              “Ah right. Through some strange circumstances Toujou-kun- ah er- Iori-kun and I happened to work in the same company in Beppu. I’m in Tokyo for the holidays.” Tatsumi quickly explained, taking a seat, his eyes glanced every now and then at the closed ICU doors and the glaring red lightbulb above it. “I consider Iori-kun as a close friend. So I came as soon as I got the news from Ayato. I didn’t think that Iori-kun would ever get involved in an accident.”

              Fumiko stared at the man she had just met with slight curiosity. She saw how panicked and worried he was, how he wrung his hands and tried to steady his breathing but can’t quite do it. She, herself, was internally anxious about her brother, but instead of succumbing to the dreadful thoughts that was eating at her she decided to engage in conversation to keep them both occupied.

              The younger woman gave her best comforting smile and spoke. “Older brother always was interested in bikes. He wasn’t loud about it nor too expressive, but when we were kids I always noticed how his eyes were glued to the screen when motorbike ads were on.”

              “He was a smart and mature kid. He kept his interest in motorbikes a secret at home because he knew mom and dad would give him whatever he wanted. And if they saw that he liked or had any interest in motorbikes they would’ve given it to him without his input. They love spoiling their children and I am no exception. But older brother wanted to keep his interest to himself, something he could enjoy in private.”

              As Fumiko continued to talk Tatsumi’s fidgeting reduced and he listened to her story.

              “Older brother was able to keep his motorbike obsession a secret from our parents but he couldn’t hide it from me. I was a talented investigator ever since I was young, y’know.” They both laughed lightly at the joke. “In the end I promised not to tell mom or dad about it as long as he shared his hobby with me. I may not like motorbikes specifically, but I liked listening to him talk about his interest in them. He was always smiling and so happy whenever he got to discuss it. You just can’t say no to a face like that and I understood why my parents would spoil us so much.”

              “Because seeing your child happy was the best feeling in the world?” Tatsumi added softly.

              “Because seeing your loved one so joyful made you wish they were this happy all the time.” Fumiko clarified with a smile.

              Tatsumi looked back at the door and nodded. “I understand that completely.”

              The red light stayed on. The hall was relatively empty of civilians, only nurses passed every now and then. The conversation between the two new acquaintances resumed.

              “Older brother Iori wasn’t able to do anything with his hobby until he graduated high school and went to college. With his time away from home by choosing to live at the dorms he was able to meet a group of bikers at his school. Pretty soon he got invested and was able to talk about bikes with likeminded people. They grew pretty close as a group and stayed in touch even after they graduated college. And when older brother was planning to buy his first bike they were there to help him with the specs and design. They have a biker gang that still go on rides now and then.”

              Fumiko’s smile dims at the next information she shared. “It’s actually one of their biker get-togethers that older brother went to today.”

              Tatsumi froze.

              “We don’t know what exactly happened, but something happened during the ride that made older brother lose control over the bike. Since brother was bringing up the rear of the group no one saw what had caused it, but the person who rode with older brother said the road didn’t feel right. And just as he was informing my brother the crash happened. Even if brother tried his best to steady the bike their combined weight made them lose balance.” Fumiko’s voice started shaking as she recounted the story, however, she kept her tears at bay. “His biking buddies were the ones who rushed him here and called me to inform me about what happened. Luckily the passenger was able to walk away from the accident with only a few flesh wounds, he’s in the ER and is accompanied by another biker. But older brother was- is-“

              Fumiko hiccuped, furiously wiping away at the stubborn tears that escaped her eyes. Bravely she pushes through. “Brother’s biker friends told me that older brother must’ve shielded the passenger with his body because he had a complete set of protective gear on him. And although that landed him in this situation I’d like to believe that he is the reason why they both made it.” She takes a deep breath to speak clearer. “My brother is one of the most stubborn and strong people I know. He has to be ok.”

              Tatsumi, hearing the wobble in her voice, steeled himself and nodded resolutely. “He will be ok Fumiko. Iori-kun is tough as nails, I’m sure he can handle something like this.” He wasn’t one to speak so boldly but saying anything that placed doubt was not what either of them needed, they had to have hope. He gave her his own smile, a comforting gesture like the young woman did for him earlier.

              “Yeah. That’s right.” Fumiko nodded furiously and wiped the last of her tears with her handkerchief. “The bikers left earlier after they waited for me to arrive. They promised me that they would handle talking to the police and that they’d take care of the paperwork needed for that so that me and my parents don’t have to worry about it.”

              “They’re good people.”

              “They are. I know they are, otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed my older brother to hang out with them.” Fumiko grinned after the last statement and they both laughed lightly. It was good to have company during such a tough time.

              A few minutes later the ICU door finally opened, an older doctor exited the room, wearing a white coat, followed by a nurse holding a clipboard. The doctor’s expression didn’t reveal much as he approached the two on the waiting area.

              “Are you with Toujou Iori-san?” The doctor asked them.

              Fumiko replied. “Yes doctor. I’m his sister.”

              “I am doctor Miru and I’m the one who is overseeing your brother’s case. Allow me to give you the update. Toujou Iori-san has sustained surface level injuries, which means the gashes on his body only scratched the surface of the skin and none of them are deep enough to need stitches, it seems his left arm has the brunt of the injury. The wounds have been treated and bandaged appropriately and they will heal fine with time and care. He doesn’t have any broken bones which is a miracle in itself because the crash wasn’t a small one.”

              Before Tatsumi or Fumiko could react the doctor quickly continued, “However, Iori-san seems to have issues with regaining consciousness. There doesn’t seem to be any physical injuries on his head that we can see. We already ordered a CT scan and an MRI to be done as was given permission through the paperwork you signed Fumiko-san. The neurologist will notify us once they get to inspect the results. In the meantime, Iori-san’s physical condition seems to be stable as of now. He can be moved to either a ward or a private room. Which would you prefer?”

              It took a subtle nudge from Tatsumi before Fumiko could parse that the doctor was waiting for her answer. “Uhm a private room would be good.”

              The doctor nodded and the nurse beside him, who was taking notes the entire time, scribbled something on the paper on her clipboard.

              The doctor stated, “Saki-san here can assist you to complete the paperwork at the front desk. Once everything is finalized we will have Iori-san wheeled to his new room. For now he will be moved to the emergency room.”

              Fumiko hesitated as the nurse gestured for her to follow. But Tatsumi assured her. “It’s ok. Fumiko you can go with the nurse, I can stay with Iori-kun at the ER.”

              The young woman looked immensely relieved and grateful. “Thank you Tatsumi-san.” She also thanks the doctor and bows.

              As the nurse guides Fumiko away to the front desk, once they’re far enough Tatsumi turned to the doctor and asked, “Will Iori-kun be able to recover doctor?”

              The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment, he appeared to hesitate but eventually the old man gave his answer. “Thus far his vitals have been stable. Once we figure out the reason for his extended unconsciousness we can have a more accurate deduction. The most important part is to watch over him and to not lose hope.”

              At the last part Tatsumi had to take a deep breath in and release it. He nods. “Thank you doctor.”

              “We do what we can. Iori-san will be out any minute now.” After that the doctor excused himself as he returned to the ICU, leaving Tatsumi in a quiet corridor.

              Tatsumi had to take this pause to just breathe, the past hour has been a whirlwind. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a moment later when the ICU doors opened and someone was being rolled out with four nurses flanking the bed, two nurses pushed the bed while the other two were wheeling a couple of devices alongside it that had various wires connected to the patient. Even from afar Tatsumi could already recognize that this was Toujou. The older man quickly stood up and after informing the nurses that he was with the patient he was allowed to follow them into the ER.

              The ER was a whole floor of the hospital that had multiple sectioned parts separated by curtains, and behind those curtains were beds for patients. Carefully the nurses rolled Toujou to one of the curtained areas that didn’t have a bed, it was a section closer to a set of doors that appear to lead deeper into the hospital. From deduction Tatsumi assumed it was an entrance into the private wing of the hospital or more clinics and doctors’ offices.

              Tatsumi was silent, watching the nurses do their job of arranging all the wires and devices that Toujou was connected to. He only spoke to thank the nurses after they finished what they had to do and the nurses bowed back then left. There were other things happening in the ER but Tatsumi was focused on the unconscious man before him. There in the hospital bed was a man who he had just seen healthy and mobile a couple of weeks ago, now Toujou was unmoving, wearing a hospital gown, and covered in bandages from his upper body to his toes. Scratches and small wounds that didn’t need to be bandaged were visible from what skin was left uncovered, a myriad of bruises could also be seen. Toujou looked like a mummy with how much he was wrapped up, smaller bandages were littered across places that didn’t require the huge bandage wraps. His left arm that sustained the brunt of the injuries was fully wrapped in gauze while his right arm only had bruises, smaller bandages, and had the IV drip line. Though true to the doctor’s words Toujou’s head remained uninjured and even his face was spared from any scratches or blemishes.

              ‘His helmet.’ Tatsumi thought silently. Toujou must’ve been spared from grievous head injuries by wearing a good helmet. Yet why was Toujou unable to wake up?

               The worry was beginning to worsen again but the pressure inside Tatsumi’s chest only lessened when he observed that the heartbeat monitor was making a steady beeping noise. Despite everything that Toujou went through he was still alive.

              He could’ve died.

              The unbidden thought made Tatsumi’s breath stutter and he shakily took a seat on the chair that was available since they got here. The reality of this situation just now hitting him. But he wasn’t given a break because shortly afterwards three people rushed to Toujou’s bedside and Tatsumi witnessed Toujou’s parents shed tears of worry and relief for their son. Tatsumi quickly noted that Fumiko looked a lot like her mother while Toujou took more of his father’s features, though their mother had more of a darker brownish blonde hair while their father had really light blonde hair, both of them had blue eyes which made a lot of sense.

              While Mr. and Mrs. Toujou focused on checking on their child Fumiko reached out and offered Tatsumi a can of cold lime juice, she was carrying her own can of coffee. The older man took the can with a thanks, though he didn’t feel like drinking right now he appreciated the kindness.

              Fumiko stood beside Tatsumi as she talked. “Thank you for being here Tatsumi-san.”

              “I-I didn’t do anything special-“

              “Yes you did. I was close to a breakdown before Ayato sent me a text that you were coming. I may not have known you for long, but your presence helped me stay grounded while waiting and during the doctor’s explanation. Thank you for that.”

              Tatsumi was caught off guard, his throat felt tight and his eyes stung a little bit. He cleared his throat, blinking back the stinging in his eyes, before responding. “I’m just doing what a friend would do. And I have no doubt Iori-kun would do the same if the situations were reversed.”

              Fumiko nodded.

              With little else to do the two younger people somberly drank their drinks while the parents were approached by a nurse. Mr. and Mrs. Toujou started filling out more paperwork. At some point Tatsumi wondered if he should say his farewell and give the family this time together. But a big part of him didn’t want to go just yet. He didn’t want to leave Iori’s side like this. So he decided to stay, listening to the conversation happening. After a few exchanges more nurses arrived and helped move Iori to his new room, the Toujou family and Tatsumi followed close behind. They walked through the nearby entrance and took a wide elevator made for transporting large things like a hospital bed. After they reached the fourth floor they were led to room 406 and the nurses started setting things up once more, making sure that all the devices were neatly and properly placed.

              As soon as everything was settled the commotion in the room was gone when the nurses excused themselves and made their exit, leaving the family and Tatsumi behind.

              Mr. Toujou was the first to speak. “We’re awfully sorry for the late introduction. I’m Iori and Fumiko’s father, Kiyoshi.”

              “And I’m their mother and Kiyoshi’s wife, Maya. Fumiko-chan has already informed us about you over the phone. We’re thankful for all your help Tatsumi-san.” Maya bowed deeply alongside Kiyoshi who bowed even deeper than his wife, a sign of deep respect and gratitude.

              “T-that’s not necessary, please raise your heads. I’m the one who should be grateful. You’ve raised an exceptional son. Iori-kun has been a great work partner and friend while we were in Beppu. Your son is a good man and he’s taught me a lot about life. And please, you can call me Tatsumi.” Tatsumi explained as he bowed back. It’s only when he raised his head that he saw Kiyoshi and Maya with tears running down their faces. He panicked, waving his hands in random gesticulations. “Eh, ah, please don’t cry!”

              Maya laughed, delicately wiping away her tears. “Please excuse us Tatsumi-kun. It’s been a long day and emotions are running high. We’re truly grateful to know Iori-kun has a friend like you.”

              “Indeed. It’s a relief to know he had someone like you by his side while he lived in Beppu. Feel free to come visit Iori here any time. And you’re also free to visit our home once he gets better. We’d love to have you over for dinner some time.” Kiyoshi graciously offered.

              Tatsumi was about to politely decline but when he remembered their current situation he accepts instead. They deserved some positive things in life especially now. “Thank you for your hospitality. I’ll take you up on that offer, I plan to visit Iori-kun as often as I can while he’s here.”

              The two parents brightened up at the answer. Then a soft chime resounded from the overhead speaker that was installed into the ceiling.

              “The time is 4:10 PM in the afternoon. The hospital reminds visitors that the visiting hours will end on 6 PM as per protocol and to give patients the time to rest.” The announcement repeats for three more times.

              “Ah that’s right. Fumiko-chan, your father and I will need to go fetch clothes and other utilities that we may need while Iori-kun is here in the hospital. Are you okay with keeping watch for now?” Maya asked her daughter.

              “it’s okay mom. I can handle it.” Fumiko assured her parents.

              “I can stay with them as well.” Tatsumi added.

              “You’re so kind Tatsumi-kun, thank you so much. We’ll be back as soon as we can.” Kiyoshi promised and then he left with Maya, waving goodbye to the two younger people.

              “I can see where Iori-kun gets his social skills from.” Tatsumi commented lightheartedly after the door closed.

              “Yeah, from me.” Fumiko rebutted and they broke into quiet laughter.

              As the laughter slowly teetered out Tatsumi offered, “It’s nearly evening. Are you hungry? I can go grab something from the convenience store nearby. Maybe snacks or some water?”

              “That’s ok Tatsumi-san. I’m fine for now, you don’t have to worry yourself with that.”

              Tatsumi was about to continue speaking when there was a knock at the door. The younger man opened the door and the same doctor from earlier was there. Tatsumi greeted the doctor and made way so he could enter the room.

              Dr. Miru greeted them and then immediately begun explaining their new findings. “The neurologist cannot come here today but I have sent over the MRI and CT scan results to her and I have just received her reply. Dr. Kimura has said that there are no physical damages, no bleeding, no swelling, and no other abnormalities in Iori-san’s brain. Which leads us to believe that a concussion has most likely occurred from the crash and other non-physical variables have contributed to it, leading to Iori-san’s current comatose state. It could be the shock from the accident or another psychological factor that affected him and pushed him into this coma. We’re not sure when Iori-san will regain consciousness, but we will use our best resources to help him in ways that we can. For now, we will maintain observation on his vital functions, provide nutritional support through IV, and also prevention of physical complications through daily physical therapy.”

              The information wasn’t positive and Fumiko felt like her throat would close up from the climbing despair. Thankfully a steady hand on her shoulder reminded her to breathe. She quickly thought through the options and decided on a question. “Is there anything we can do for him while he’s like this doctor?”

              “Though we’re unsure of when Iori-san will wake up it has been a topic of discussion in the medical field that comatose patients are still able to perceive things around them through hearing or touch. There’s a chance that Iori-san is listening right now. I’d suggest interacting and talking to him even while he’s in this state. It might have a positive effect on his psyche, and who knows it may encourage a reaction. The human mind is an enigma and every possible option that can help rouse his consciousness is worth a shot.”

              Tatsumi nodded in understanding. “We can do that.”

              The doctor continued, “While he’s in this state the neurologist will be his main doctor and she will arrive tomorrow to check on Iori-san’s condition. Do you have any further questions?”

              “Will he ever wake up doctor?” Fumiko asked, putting on a brave face even as her hands shook on her lap, afraid to hear any more bad news. But these questions must be asked.

              “Since Iori-san is a young and healthy man with no known health issues he statistically has a higher chance to wake up from the coma. Though I cannot give any exact numbers or estimates, situations like these are unpredictable. I can only assure you that we will do our best to help him recover.” That was the best thing Dr. Miru could offer.

              Another squeeze on Fumiko’s shoulder made her release the breath she was holding, she thanked the doctor for the update and for answering their questions. There being no further questions Dr. Miru excused himself. The hospital room went back to silence with Tatsumi alone with Fumiko and Iori, the beeping of the heart monitor was way louder than he thought it would be. Tatsumi knew Fumiko was digesting the news that was just delivered, she hasn’t stopped clenching her fists.

              A few moments after the door was closed Fumiko couldn’t stop herself from breaking down into a sob. She tried to compose herself but it was impossible. How could she when her dear sibling was in such a state of uncertainty? Iori had left this morning joyful and happy as always, now he’s in a bed, wrapped in bandages, injured, and in a coma.

              “This is terrible.” Fumiko sobbed out, emotionally devastated.

              Tatsumi could only stay there and be a comforting presence, allowing Fumiko this time to let her emotions free without judgement. Tatsumi himself could feel his throat constrict and his heart ache at the news. Still he chose to remain calm and collected, even if he didn’t feel like it. He focused on the heart monitor that still carried a heartbeat. As long as that sound didn’t stop Tatsumi will continue to hold on to hope. As long as Iori was fighting to stay here Tatsumi would not give up.

              Deciding that a distraction was needed, Tatsumi decided to apply what the doctor had suggested. Tatsumi went and sat on one of the chairs that was beside Iori’s bed.

              “Hey Toujou-kun, or should I start calling you Iori-kun now? You really scared me, getting that call really worried me so I had to come and check. And I’m not the only one worried, I’m sure you know that already. But I’m telling you as a reminder.”

              Fumiko’s eyes widen, realizing what Tatsumi was doing, she quickly sat on the empty chair beside the older man. “That’s right. Tatsumi-san was kind enough to come here and check on you. So you better get well quick and wake up soon.”

              Happy that Fumiko picked up on what he was doing Tatsumi continued the conversation with Fumiko adding her piece, they do this even though they received no reply from Iori. They started from lighthearted scolding then Fumiko started talking about their childhood and the stupid things Iori and her had gotten into as mischievous kids.

              And though the heartbeat didn’t change and no physical response was seen the two didn’t stop talking. They treated this like a conversation where Iori was awake and listening, hoping that somehow the unconscious man was hearing their words.

              Tatsumi kept his eyes on Iori as they spoke to him.

              This isn’t over yet.

              I won’t give up on you.

-=-=-=-

              It was around 5:34 PM when Kiyoshi and Maya arrived, arms carrying a lot of bags, way too much for a hospital stay but it was better to have too much rather than too little when it came to these things. Fumiko was the one to break the doctor’s news to both her parents and they somberly accepted the news without obvious upset, perhaps they had already deducted this from their observations in the ER. However, they didn’t let that get them down and they focused on the positives and what they could do for Iori while he was at the hospital.

              When it reached 6 PM Maya had stated that she would be the one who would be watching over Iori for tonight while Fumiko would take tomorrow’s morning watch. Kiyoshi would be handling the extra paperwork while juggling work as well as making sure Maya and Fumiko had everything they needed while they stayed in the hospital with Iori.

              Thinking that the family needed privacy for the discussion Tatsumi had been saying his goodbyes when Kiyoshi and Maya roped him into allowing Kiyoshi to give him a lift home. The younger man had decline, saying his house was too out of the way but when Fumiko had joined in, insisting that it’s the least they could do for him, Tatsumi had little choice but to agree.

              Before the trio left Kiyoshi made sure that Maya had everything she needed from food, snacks, and books to keep her entertained during the long night watch. Maya tittered a laugh at Kiyoshi’s concern and assured him that she would be fine. She made sure to give her husband a loving kiss before he left with the younger adults.

              During the drive home Kiyoshi had begun asking Tatsumi a lot of questions.

              “So Tatsumi-kun, how’d you meet Iori?”

              “I actually knew Iori-kun because he was friends with my brother, Ayato.”

              “Oh Ayato-kun, I remember. So he’s your brother, it’s a small world huh?” Kiyoshi sounded surprised but not displeased by the information. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard about him. I hope he’s doing well.”

              Tatsumi nodded. “He’s doing ok. I wasn’t aware Fumiko was in contact with him, he’s the one who told me about Iori-kun being in the hospital.”

              “You kept in contact with Ayato-kun, Fumi-chan? Why didn’t you tell me?”

              “Why would I tell you dad? He’s my gaming buddy, I don’t think you needed to know that.”

              “Why not invite him over some time then?”

              Fumiko gave Tatsumi a quick apologetic look before turning back to her dad. “Well, it would be awkward since you’re his ex’s father.”

              “But you’re Iori’s sister and it’s not awkward. Why would it be different with me?” Kiyoshi insisted, no ill will intended, just plain curiosity.

              Fumiko sighed but not in the annoyed way, more of the daughter exasperated by her father’s antic’s kind of way. “Dad stop, you’re making it awkward for Tatsumi-san.”

              Tatsumi smiled awkwardly. “Ah no, it’s fine-“

              “Oh yeah, my apologies Tatsumi-kun.” Then Kiyoshi asked something Fumiko and Tatsumi didn’t expect. “So when did you and Iori start dating?”

              Tatsumi choked on his spit. Fumiko exasperatedly shouted, “Dad! You can’t just ask that!”

              “Why not?”

              Tatsumi cleared his throat and hoped the blush on his face wasn’t too obvious. “Uhm- Kiyoshi-san me and Iori-kun are not dating. I’m just his friend.”

              Kiyoshi raised his eyebrows at that but quickly apologized. “Oh I see. Forgive my presumptions, it seems I jumped the gun there. I didn’t mean to assume.”

              “It’s quite alright, no offense taken.”

              “Will you be headed back to Beppu then? Iori was supposed to head back tomorrow since his vacation’s ending, but well, now he’s not able to.”

              Honestly Tatsumi had forgotten that he had a schedule for a train to Beppu tomorrow, the thought didn’t even cross his mind since he was so worried for Iori. “I- I think I’m going to stay in Tokyo for a bit more. I want to visit Iori-kun, I can’t just leave when he’s like this.”

              Kiyoshi had a knowing look in his eyes that neither of the two in the backseat could see. He hummed and reply, “As we offered earlier, you’re welcome to visit Iori-kun any time.”

              “Thank you.” Then Tatsumi said something that he didn’t spend a long time considering, but it just felt right to offer. “I was also thinking if it was ok for me to watch over Iori at some point? I don’t mind if it’s morning or night shift, I want to offer any assistance I can. Of course if that’s ok with your family Kiyoshi-san?”

              The older man smiled at the unsure tone, seeing the consideration that Tatsumi had to even ask and over something so self-less. Kiyoshi replied in kind. “I appreciate the offer Tatsumi-kun. We could use all the help we can get, you’re welcome to watch over Iori anytime. Fumi-chan can make a group chat for us so we can contact each other easily. There we can also make a schedule that works for all of us. Will that be ok for you Tatsumi-kun?”

              “Y-yes, that would be so helpful. Thank you.”

              As Tatsumi exchanged his contact information with Fumiko Kiyoshi felt a smile tug on his lips. Kiyoshi was close to Iori so he was one of the people that was aware of how much the breakup with Ayato had affected his son. He didn’t hold anything against Ayato, that’s just how life is sometimes. Still one couldn’t deny that the breakup was hard on Iori, it was one reason why he hadn’t been that opposed to Iori moving to a whole other region. He acknowledged that his son needed space and time for himself. Astonishingly though Kiyoshi hadn’t expected Iori to quickly adapt to life in Beppu. Basing on his son’s frequent updates in their family group chat his son was doing well and that could easily be attributed to this friend that he kept mentioning. It was obvious that Iori was smitten by this friend, the way he talked about his friend was the same way Kiyoshi talked about his beloved Maya.

              It didn’t take long for Kiyoshi to connect the dots as soon as he heard that Tatsumi was Iori’s workmate and friend in Beppu. He knew his son well enough to know that this is the man his son had fallen for, and with what he’s seen from the other man today he can see why. Tatsumi had gone out of his way to visit Iori at the hospital as soon as he could, he stayed with Fumiko through the entire waiting time and no doubt became someone Fumiko could lean on when she received the bad news, and now the young man was even offering his time to watch over Iori to help them.

              Tatsumi is a good kid, Kiyoshi had decided that before Tatsumi even stated his offer. The smile on Kiyoshi’s face turned hopeful.

              ‘Iori, you better wake up soon. Someone you really care about is worrying over you and waiting for you.’

Chapter Text

-=-=-=-

This creative work of fanfiction is written by the author miseria81, and this work is only posted in AO3 nowhere else. If you see this work posted anywhere else aside from AO3 then it was stolen. The author miseria81 does not allow any reposts of their works. They do not allow their works to be fed into generative AI machines or any AI whatsoever. Long live the creative human spirit. Fuck AI.

-=-=-=-

              The night when Tatsumi got home after his time in the hospital, he was greeted at the porch by Ayato who looks like he had been waiting for a while. He told Ayato what had happened, a short explanation about Toujou’s current state and situation. The younger man immediately pulled Tatsumi into a hug, knowing that words wouldn’t help in this moment. Tatsumi returned the hug, allowing the warmth to comfort him after an emotionally taxing day. He still had his worries but stopped himself from overthinking, he had to focus on what he was able to do now otherwise he was going to spiral. And that wouldn’t help anyone.

              That dinner Tatsumi had to inform his parents that he would need to stay in Tokyo longer and he told them about what happened to Toujou and why he decided to stay and help. At first he was nervous, thinking that his parents would be highly suspicious or doubtful of his reasons for staying. Luckily for him his parents didn’t ask too many questions, accepting the explanation that Toujou was his friend, and they were as supportive as ever. His mother even offered to cook food to bring to the hospital whenever Tatsumi would be going there. It was surprising how much Tatsumi had assumed so many things that his family was disproving in the best ways. First, Tatsumi had thought Ayato would be mad at him for having feelings for his ex but Ayato wasn’t. Second, he thought his parents would find it weird why Tatsumi was investing so much time and energy for Toujou, but they were more understanding rather than judgmental. Tatsumi now feels bad that he quickly made assumptions about his family members when everything that they showed so far had proved him wrong.

              This was a big wake up call that Tatsumi’s assumptions are not a hundred percent correct all of the time. You cannot completely predict how people would react to circumstances, everyone behaved differently and Tatsumi was glad to be proven that his assumptions were not reality. He felt more encouraged with what he was doing now.

-=-=-=-

              Tatsumi used the group chat with the Toujou family to the utmost of its utility. He had communicated with them about the schedule and although Maya had insisted that he didn’t have to schedule so many hours for himself as a chaperone to Iori, Tatsumi stubbornly insisted. He knew that the three people were still working their own jobs and so that would make it hard for them to be at the hospital. Kiyoshi and Maya had their fulltime jobs which made it difficult to schedule anything in the mornings. Fumiko’s schedule was more flexible but she still needed someone to switch shifts with otherwise she’d be exhausted and burn out too quickly. Meanwhile Tatsumi had one more week of vacation left and he was willing to help during that time. After a while the family and Tatsumi finally made a schedule that worked for all of them.

              Tatsumi hadn’t expected to be this involved with someone else’s family, but he will say that he didn’t regret offering his help to the Toujou family. In the middle of a challenging medical situation he could see how kind, resilient, and strong the family was. Kiyoshi and Maya kept a positive hold on to the possibility that Iori would wake up while Fumiko did her best to follow suit in her parents’ steps. They would converse with Iori every time they came to the hospital to take turns watching over the unconscious young man. Even in the midst of such hardship they kept a smile on their faces and braved the situation with a firm determination. Tatsumi was made a witness to this during the shifts he had taken as a chaperone for Iori at the hospital, he was willing to do what he could to help the family in any way he could. He visited as much as he could when it wasn’t his shift, bringing food or refreshments made by him or his mother, even getting flowers to liven up the place – a dot of color among the plain white walls of the room.

              Ayato even came by to visit Iori with Hatano in tow, luckily Tatsumi was there with Fumiko so the visit wasn’t completely awkward. It seems Fumiko was already aware of Ayato and Hatano’s relationship as she easily conversed with the couple. The two men had brought get-well-soon cards from various mutual friends and acquaintances of Iori in Tokyo plus they brought mochi as snacks. Tatsumi thought he would feel more awkward with Hatano there but it turns out the younger man was totally enamored with Ayato, aside from a friendly greeting and common small talk, Hatano didn’t seem all that infatuated with Tatsumi anymore. This made Tatsumi feel even more at ease with the reality of his brother dating Hatano, he could see how close the two had gotten with how in tune Hatano was to Ayato’s short outbursts, mannerism, and even his tsundere reactions didn’t faze Hatano at all. And Ayato was just as smitten by Hatano, he couldn’t successfully hide the blush on his cheeks every time his boyfriend helped him with something or gave him a genuine compliment. Surprisingly enough the two made a cute couple.

              By the time the couple needed to go the last thing that Hatano told Tatsumi while Fumiko was busy talking with Ayato is ‘we’re both wishing you and Toujou well, Tatsumi-san.’ What else could Tatsumi reply to the genuine goodwill other than a smile and a grateful ‘thank you’.

-=-=-=-

              On the third day at the hospital Fumiko was the chaperone while Tatsumi had dropped by for a visit, unknown to both of them two other visitors would arrive.

              “Arashi-san and Kito-san?” Fumiko exclaimed in surprise when she opened the door after someone had knocked.

              “Yo Fumi-kun!” Arashi - a tall lean man with long red wavy hair that had black roots and had a bandage over the bridge of his nose - greeted with a big smile, carrying a bouquet of daffodils and a bag of something. He wore a brown leather jacket, loose fitting dark blue jeans, and well-worn black boots.  “Kito and I thought we’d drop by and see how Iori was doing.”

              “And here’s a gift from Toma-kun, it’s a thank you gift for Iori.” Arashi handed over the bag to Fumiko who accepted it with gratitude. Toma was the passenger who was with Iori during the accident, the young man had visited once before although he apparently wasn’t a close friend of Iori’s. The Toujou family was just glad to see he was alright, it saved them more worries.

              Tatsumi looked at the two new comers with curiosity. From first impressions Arashi looked like a very cheerful person, like the embodiment of a golden retriever. Although the slight peak of a tattoo running up from his shoulder to his neck begged to differ with that initial assumption.

              “Pardon the intrusion,” politely whispered a shorter man behind Arashi. Kito was shorter than Arashi but still taller than Tatsumi. Kito had short hair that was shaved on the sides, leaving a longer bang in front which covered one eye. It made him look like one of those emo guys who were trending in the internet lately. He had a lot of piercings from his lip, to his ears, and even on his nose. His hair was black as a void and his pale skin enhanced the dark eyeliner that framed his dark brown eyes. His clothes matched his aesthetic with a black leather jacket, skull printed black shirt, skinny jeans, and pocket chains adorning his pant pockets.

              The striking difference between the two and Iori could not be ignored. Looking at these two Tatsumi never would’ve guessed they were Iori’s friends. Politely, Tatsumi kept his mouth shut and allowed Fumiko to do the introductions first.

              “Tatsumi-san this is Arashi-san and Kito-san. They are older brother’s biker friends.”

              “Hey there big brother. It’s a pleasure to meet ya.” Arashi greeted with a grin and extended his hand in a friendly manner.

              Tatsumi was usually hesitant with shaking hands with other people since he was used to watching out for flags but this time flags were the furthest thing from his mind. He shook hands with Arashi and then Kito.

              “I’m Tatsumi, a friend and coworker of Iori.” Tatsumi introduced himself politely.

              “Tatsumi-chan huh? That’s a nice name.” Arashi commented with a beaming smile, slightly leaning closer towards Tatsumi.

              Fumiko smacked the back of Arashi’s head. “Oh no you don’t. Stop flirting so blatantly. You’re not slick.”

              “Yowch! Come on Fumi-kun, I was just being friendly.” Arashi protested, nursing the back of his head with a hand rub.

              “He definitely wasn’t being just friendly.” Kito confirmed in a cool voice.

              “Hey Kito that’s not fair! Back me up wouldja!”

              Despite himself Tatsumi managed a chuckle at the banter, it was a good change of pace from all the medical stuff they’ve needed to observe day to day. “I’m glad to know Iori-kun has such energetic friends.”

              Tatsumi’s rare smile seemed to make the trio freeze. The smile made the older man’s eyes crinkle gently and his laugh sounded so amused it was cute in a way. They all stared at him with wide eyes.

              Bashfully, Arashi scratched the back of his head and asked, “If you’re single, can I get your number Tatsumi-san?”

              Both Fumiko and Kito protested much to Tatsumi’s amusement. After they had their fun the two bikers approached Iori and Arashi chattered on, talking to Iori while Kito arranged the flowers on the empty vase on the nearby desk. The discussion was lighthearted topics about their biker gang and their friends missing Iori plus a bunch of other stuff.

              Slowly though Arashi ran out of things to say, the mood mellowed out, and then he straightened up to face Fumiko and Tatsumi. Suddenly his face carried a more serious expression and Kito finished with the flower arrangement, moving to Arashi’s side wearing a similar look on his face.

              Arashi explained that the accident was due to the slippery roads from the recent storm that passed through that portion of the city the night before they drove their bikes there. The water left moisture on the pavement which had made the bike’s wheels lose friction thus the accident happened. The incident was out of anyone’s control. Arashi and Kito confirmed this with the police who were handling the investigation and had managed the police report, updating it as needed. Fumiko and Tatsumi took in the news with solemn nods.

              Then Arashi did something unexpected, he lowered himself on his knees and leaned forward into a dogeza, palms flat on the ground, touching his forehead to the floor in the deepest bow he could manage.

              “I’m so sorry for getting Iori involved in such a tragic accident.”

              Fumiko looked flabbergasted at the display of a deep apology. “W-what are you doing? Don’t do that! You already said it was an accident. You have nothing to apologize for.”

              “If I hadn’t invited Iori out to drive with us that day he would’ve been safe. He wouldn’t be in this state now.” Arashi stated, voice cracking with deep emotion, clearly torn up about what had happened. The pain in his voice was a sharp contrast to his earlier cheery demeanor as he made an apology again. “For that I deeply apologize.”

              Kito followed suit, bowing beside his friend in the same manner, and speaking in a voice full of sadness as well. “We apologize for putting Iori in danger. We take full responsibility.”

              Fumiko’s face was flushed with frustration and conflicted emotions. She had never thought to blame anyone in this situation and she still doesn’t want to blame anyone. “What are you two doing? Stop that this instant!” She could already feel tears forming in her eyes.

              Seeing how things were going Tatsumi decided to step in. “Raise your heads, both of you.” The older man spoke in a clear commanding tone.

              Both men jolted upright though still on their knees, taken aback by Tatsumi’s serious tone. When they raised their heads Tatsumi’s tone softened, “You don’t have to take responsibility for something that isn’t your fault. No one wanted this to happen. You were inviting Iori out so he could spend time with his friends. There were no ill intentions there. You don’t have to apologize for wanting to hang out with your friend.”

              Tatsumi helped Arashi and Kito stand up, patting them on their shoulders as they now stood, giving both men an understanding look. “I’m sure if Iori-kun was awake he’d say the same thing. Don’t let the guilt destroy you. The accident isn’t your fault. And if you really want to do something about this continue to cheer Iori-kun on, pray for his recovery, visit him as much as you can, and help his family in what ways you’re able to.”

              Through hearing Tatsumi’s words both men broke down in tears, face scrunched up like they were trying their best to hold back but failed to. Fumiko swooped in and gave them a much-needed hug, fondly calling them dumbasses and telling them that Tatsumi was right. No one was blaming them or angry at them. The accident is called an accident for a reason, there’s no one to blame.

              Arashi and Kito returned the hug as they cried their hearts out, the burden they carried from the guilt about what happened to their friend had been tormenting them. They constantly blamed themselves for the incident and they felt like they needed punishment in order to atone for their mistake. Thankfully Tatsumi’s words had allowed them to see the situation in a different light and Fumiko’s kindness encouraged them to not hold the guilt so strongly.

              As Tatsumi watched the touching display he couldn’t help but think with a mixture of gladness and sorrow. ‘So many people are here wishing for your recovery Iori-kun. So many people care about you. They’re waiting and hoping for you to wake up. So wake up already.’

-=-=-=-

              The longer Iori stayed unconscious the more it slowly chipped away at his family, Tatsumi saw how much it was weighing on all of them. He did his best to cheer them up and lift their spirits in ways he was able to, luckily he wasn’t alone with that effort. Ayato and Hatano sometimes dropped by to visit, Arashi and Kito pitched in by doing errands for the family and visiting as much as they could. The Toujou family appreciated all their hard work and through that, in small ways, everyone was able to continue holding on to hope.

              With the holidays coming to an end there were other bureaucratic things that Tatsumi had to settle. Throughout the past days Tatsumi was busy with contacting Itsuko-san, he had asked Kiyoshi and Maya if they were alright with him informing Iori’s workplace about the situation. The parents gave their greenlight without question. Thus, Tatsumi had managed to complete the paperwork that needed to be filed for Iori while he was in an unconscious state so that he wouldn’t be penalized for the days he missed in their company. Itsuko-san was also considerate enough to offer the same set of vacation days to Tatsumi, it was already obvious to their boss that Tatsumi would be missing work to help take care of Iori. Tatsumi readily agreed and through the finalized paperwork their time off would span through the entire month of January. The lavender haired man hoped that they wouldn’t need to extend that, hoping that Iori would have woken up before January ended.

              Days continued to pass and Tatsumi was getting closer with Iori’s family through his constant visits as well as being Iori’s occasional chaperone. Tatsumi was able to constantly keep in contact with Kiyoshi, Maya, and Fumiko to the point where he was once treated to dinner by Maya and Kiyoshi to give him a break after being a chaperone for an entire day. Slowly but surely the Toujou family have come to consider Tatsumi as part of the family. Maya would dote on him. Kiyoshi would bring Tatsumi snacks when the older man came around to visit at the hospital and Kiyoshi would pat him good-naturedly on the back as encouragement. Fumiko even started treating Tatsumi as an older brother, the two of them spending most of their time together as they’re the ones who had more time scheduled as hospital chaperones. They made sure to always involve Iori in their conversations too, talking loud enough to ensure that the blonde could hear them.

              Tatsumi was also getting used to calling Iori by his first name. He just wished this privilege was under different circumstances. But he promised himself to start calling Toujou by his first name if the other man would agree. Iori just has to wake up so Tatsumi can ask him that.

              As Tatsumi continued to keep his role as a chaperone, much to Ayato’s teasing, he was getting used to seeing this side of Iori’s life. Iori had loving parents and a close sibling who cared about him very much. He was getting a glimpse of Iori’s home life, a side of his friend that he wasn’t privy to until now. If only he could have Iori awake and here with him everything would be great. Tatsumi was sure Iori would be doing his best to make sure that Tatsumi was feeling comfortable and included as much as his family had.

-=-=-=-

              At some point when he was chaperoning he couldn’t help but reflect. It was like the positions were switched back when Tatsumi was sick in Beppu. Being bedridden with a fever and a cold, Tatsumi was having one of his low moments at that time. But then Iori appeared like a beacon in the night, lifting Tatsumi’s spirits and chasing away the dark thoughts. It hadn’t occurred to Tatsumi what Iori’s perspective had been at that time. Had Iori been this worried when he got to know Tatsumi was sick? Had the blonde been just as listless and jittery as Tatsumi felt right now as the older man watched his friend be treated by nurses and doctors numerous times in order to stay alive? Now he understood why Iori had made a point to visit him that day and to take care of him, this amount of worrying weighed heavy on the heart and mind.

              When Fumiko excused herself to go to the restroom, leaving the two men alone for the moment, Tatsumi couldn’t stop from telling Iori outright, “If you wake up I can make chicken noodle soup for you.”

              The sentence hung in the air but the blonde didn’t react, position the same as ever on that hospital bed, breathing yet not truly living, stuck in existential limbo. Tatsumi heaved a heavy sigh. He tried not to let the disappointment show.

              Time continued to flow. And suddenly a week passed yet Iori remained the same. The doctors say it’s a good sign that Iori’s state wasn’t worsening and that his vitals continue to be the same. But they still couldn’t get him to wake up. Everyone was waiting for improvements but so far there were none to be seen.

              Iori’s parents had just finished their night shift of watching over Iori and with Fumiko at work, for the first time Tatsumi was alone as the chaperone for that morning. The silence around the room was only disrupted by the steady beat of the heart monitor, aside from that Tatsumi could hear Iori’s faint breathing, his chest slowly rising and falling. With the expected silence Tatsumi’s thoughts started buzzing. This was his first time being alone with Iori for a whole day after more than three weeks since their last conversation in Beppu.

              It turns out his thoughts were more dangerous when he was left doing nothing but waiting and sitting. He could feel the slight pounding of a headache, the dryness of his eyes, and he feels the kink in his shoulders and neck, too frequently stressed that he was constantly clenching those muscles and now they’re often sore. Tatsumi’s eyes fell on the prone figure of Iori on the hospital bed. The nurses had already come around that morning and helped Iori with his physical therapy. The next session would be later that afternoon and until then there was nothing much else to do but wait. Tatsumi scoots his chair nearer beside the bed so he could look at Iori closer, checking the bandages. Thankfully most of the smaller injuries have already healed and the bandages on them were removed. Only the bandages on his left arm had remained, the doctors said that the road rash was especially bad on that arm and they surmised that Iori had used that arm to guard the passenger’s head as they slid across the pavement after they flew off the bike. Fortunately, the nurses informed him that that wound was gradually healing as well, it will just take more time.

              The beeping of the monitor continued and after a week of no positive changes on the medical results and no responses from the other man, the exhaustion from the emotional turmoil was evidently affecting Tatsumi. He could feel how heavy his eyes were, the dark bags becoming more prominent by the day, and even if he got some sleep his body regained little energy.

              “How long are you planning on staying asleep Iori-kun?” Tatsumi decided to fill the silence with his chatter.

              “A few days ago I contacted Itsuko-san and told her what happened. After she heard about your accident she was quick to get everything settled. So guess what? You’re still employed, even though you’re sleeping right now you still have a job. Isn’t that great?” Tatsumi picked on the sleeve of his beige sweater, the temperature outside had gotten colder. He wonders if Iori felt cold although he was aware there was heating in the room. “She even allowed me day offs so I can continue to watch over you. The company we work for isn’t so bad right?”

              The only reply he got was Iori’s rhythmic breathing

              “Everyone’s wishing you a speedy recovery.”

              Beep… Beep… Beep…

              “Come on, talk to me. Answer like you did before. You were good at bantering, we’d go toe to toe. It was fun…” Tatsumi’s eyes lingering on Iori, the expression on his friend’s face ever unchanging like a porcelain doll. The stillness made his heart ache.

              “It’s not fun talking all by myself. It makes things boring…” His voice was near pleading.

              Still there was no reaction from Iori.

              The doctors have run all the tests they could think of in order to figure out why Iori was stuck in a coma. However, all the tests came back normal, nothing could point them into a direction that would hint to what exactly was wrong with Iori’s condition. It’s the same thing since the day they got him in the hospital. They have now deduced that it wasn’t a physical issue but a mental one. Their strongest theory is that the trauma and shock from the crash had led to his mental faculties shutting down in an effort of survival and self-preservation.

              There was nothing else the doctors could do aside from taking care of Iori while waiting for him to wake up on his own. But the more they waited the more Tatsumi’s worries grew and his resolve was turning into dread. Because no matter how much experience the doctors have, no matter how advanced the medicine and technology were, Tatsumi was aware of the singular thing that had a huge influence on the situation.

              Iori’s life was hanging in the balance because of the whims of this world that they live in. The accident that occurred, the suspicious case of Iori’s extended coma despite there not being any physical reason for it, the timing, all of this was simply the course of action from the universe. But why? Why Iori? Why? The universe was going too far with its agenda and Tatsumi was tired of it. If he and Iori were supposed to end up together then they would have eventually gotten to that point without any of this unnecessary meddling from the universe. They didn’t need a life-threatening circumstance to bring them together.

              Although… there was one more thing that worried Tatsumi. The worst thing is that there was one trope that scared Tatsumi the most. Even in a BL run world death was still possible. He was aware of the genre of BL that focused on the dark side of life and especially driven to portray tragedy. Usually the ending was not a happy one, either one or both of the main characters would die. The thought alone made Tatsumi’s chest clench in apprehension. If his theory was right then there was a chance that Iori’s fate would follow the same storyline.

              Iori could die.

              The deduction made Tatsumi feel his skin erupt in a cold sweat, heart hammering in his chest, and his jaw clenched with tension. The exhaustion from the past week and the emotional toll of his anxieties finally catch up to the older man.

              He shouldn’t cry.

              He must stay strong.

              But there’s only so much the human heart can carry before it got too heavy. What would he do if he lost Iori forever? He feels his eyes well up with tears, the sting an unfamiliar feeling after a long time of not crying. Dark eyes fall to Iori’s bandaged arm and Tatsumi doesn’t stop himself from reaching out and taking the hand delicately into his own. Tatsumi holds Iori’s hand like a lifeline as his worries overwhelm him like a tidal wave of despair. In the stillness of this room and in the face of such fear, he allows his tears to fall.

              The possibility that Iori would never wake up made Tatsumi cry, tears a steady flow down his cheeks like a faucet was twisted open and it couldn’t be closed.

              “You can’t go like this. You’re one of the strongest, kindest, and most hardworking people I know. You’re young, you still have so much to live for. We still have so many things we haven’t done together.”

              “Remember we had a plan to go to that festival in Beppu this July? Right? We were supposed to try new food together, wear yukata, play games, and- and watch the fireworks together. I- I-“

              Beep… Beep… Beep…

              “I know things have been weird between us since two months ago and that’s my fault. I should’ve just been honest to myself and to you. But I was so scared of losing your friendship, I was scared of losing what we had if I ever opened that new door and it turned out that you didn’t feel the same way. I was so afraid. But now I might lose you forever and I realize how all my fears before couldn’t even compare to this.”

              Beep.. Beep.. Beep..

              “I have so much to tell you Iori. I have so much I should have told you.” The tears fall, wetting his cheeks like crystal streams paving the way across sandy soil, inevitably splattering across the cold white tiles of this stifling hospital room. His face twists with emotions far more painful than he’s ever experienced, his voice shaking as he confesses the words he had been struggling to say out loud, “I like you. I like you a lot…”

              Tatsumi’s breath stutters in his chest, a step away from a breakdown, his heart shattering into a million pieces he can’t quite gather again as Iori’s silence chilled him to the bone.

              “You have to wake up. You have to hear what I have to say. I want to hear your reply. Please wake up…” He mutters out the words like a desperate prayer between his lips, clutching Iori’s unmoving hand to his forehead, his skin warm against Iori’s hand, hoping against hope that his words would reach the other. Somehow. Someway.

              Beep. Beep. Beep.

              “Please.” Tatsumi breaks, any form of composure fading away, sobs leave his lips in a slow crescendo starting from a whimper and turning into full on heaving, the fear of losing Iori was too much to bear. The possibility of never hearing him speak, never seeing him smile, and never having him in his life made Tatsumi’s heart painfully seize like it was bound with rope that gradually tightened until it would burst. He gasps for breath, sharp and painful. He pleads a shuddery whisper into the empty air.

              “Please don’t leave me…”

              Beepbeepbeep-

              Like a miracle the heartbeat monitor broke its usual pace, the steady beat now a raging staccato, a different tune from before. And though Tatsumi couldn’t notice it because of his heartbroken crying he could not miss the movement of Iori’s hand. A small twitch at first that alerted Tatsumi enough to shock him into silence. Then Iori fully moved his hand to cup Tatsumi’s cheek.

              “Don’t… cry… Tatsumi-san…” It was barely audible, Iori’s throat was straining with the unused vocal chords, but that didn’t matter because the words were clear as day to Tatsumi.

              “Iori-“

              Blue eyes stared into dark brown. Tears flowed faster but this time Tatsumi was smiling, placing a hand over Iori’s and keeping it on his cheek, letting the tactile touch ground his haywire emotions. “You’re awake.”

              Struggling but doing his best, Iori gave Tatsumi a tired but present smile. “I’m…here.”