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Chapter Text

The term beings on September 1 st, your books, extra robes, spare quills and  ingredients have been ordered and will arrive in two days' time.  

Walburga  

Of  

The Noble and most Ancient House of Black 

*~~~~~~~~* 

Looking around the room for the final time, Regulus sighed in relief. The brown curtains that hung over the bay window with the school crest on top, the walnut bookshelves that lined the dark blue walls above his perfectly made bed, the matching desk, chair and a wardrobe walnut set that lined the opposite side, were his no longer. The room was empty, devoid of any colour that wasn’t dark brown and blue. The books had been boxed away; clothes packed neatly into the trunk. Any personality had been stripped away, any impression that the room had been lived in (which it hadn’t) was lost to the emptiness. Taking one last look around at what had been the resemblance of a home for Regulus for the past 4 years, he stepped out into the candle lit hallway.  

He walked down in silence. No-one was around. Very few people had come back for the summer intensive academic program, even fewer were leaving to go home. Most were staying the final week at Beauxbaton before the term started on the 3rd September. Not Regulus. The rustle of Walburga's latest letter addressed to the ‘Young Miss Black’, yet labelled ‘Regulus’ reached his ears from where it was placed in the pocket of his trousers.

A pair of eyes, one blue one grey, blinked as he passed the hall, a white streak peeking out from the mass of black curly hair. Mike Bespoke, a now second year, nodded at Regulus timidly as he walked down the hall. Regulus nodded back, allowing his face to form, not quite a smile, but fill with a bit more warmth than he would normally allow. The kid smiled back timidly before shutting the door to his room again. 

*~~~~~~~~* 

In regards to your previous letter I have decided that we will  

discuss this issue further once you are home.  

*~~~~~~~~* 

He exited the school building through the main entrance. The grand mahogany doors with gold detailing opened out into a large path that seemed to run from the school onto the main road. The students only ever entered and exited the school on the first and last days of term, the rest of the time the doors were shut.  

How ironic he thinks he spent his time here mostly in silence, without much acknowledgement, lived at home in the same way. Fitting that there were no teachers that were there to see him off. Just one second year who he helped with homework.  

He spots the carriage to his left, clearly waiting to take him to the student collection point in Devon. He sighed quietly, already dreading the long journey home alone, left to his thoughts whilst dreading his return back to that house. Climbing into the carriage (his trunk had been taken a few hours before hand and was already loaded) he nodded to the driver, and settled himself down to read ‘Song of Achilles’. 

*~~~~~~~~* 

It has been decided that you will take over as the perfect heir and  

in future, The Patriarch of the family.  

*~~~~~~~~* 

It takes 2 hours 38 minutes and exactly 24 seconds to get from where the school is situated in France to the location in Devon. While yes, they could technically of apparated, there were two reasons to not. One, there were so many students at the school that would not be old enough (Regulus included) that the amount of time it would take, not to mention how dizzy the teachers would be, was simply not worth it, and two, Regulus did not wish to get home that fast.   

While, yes, he had always been treated slightly better than his brother, it did not mean that he did not recognize the fact their family was, well, shit. And especially since his previous letter to Walburga, he was dreading his return even more. Not only did he declare a name and gender change, through a letter, to his definitely homophobic and transphobic family, he also was defiant for the first time, well, in his whole life.  

“Sirius would be proud,” he muttered to himself as he flipped the page. His brother ex-brother had always had a knack for getting on their parents' nerves. He was just always so unapologetically, himself.  

*~~~~~~~~* 

 You understand the  

 consequences of displeasing me and your father.  

*~~~~~~~~* 

Putting the book away –there were only 2 chapters left- he watched as the carriage pulled into the point. For an outsider, it just looks like a boring forest, but if you go past the charmed barriers, the wood melted into a tree tunnel. 

Black arches –with climbing roses and plants trailing over them in a stylized yet overgrown manner- twist over a smooth black road lined with alcoves. The trees are a mix of green, orange and yellow, creating the perfect hollow turning the top of the arch into a golden mist above. 

Checking to see if the book was hidden in his brown school satchel (his parents did not care for him reading as mythology expands his learning, but they certainly would mind as it was homosexual), making sure that both straps locked into place with a ‘click’, he closed his eyes and breathed as the carriage grinded to a halt. Opening his eyes, he climbed out the door that the driver was now holding open. Looking around, his eyes landed on a small elf.  

Nodding at the small figure, who bowed back, he took his trunk from the back of the carriage, and walked over to the small figure. 

“Hello Kreacher,” he said to the house-elf. No smile, it was not safe to smile, to show care, but his tone was warm, and he knew that Kreacher would understand. 

“It is good to see Young Master Regulus again, sir. We must make haste, Mister and Mistress Black are out for 2 hours yet Young Master, and Mistress Black commands that Master Regulus be unpacked and ready to be in attendance when called for dinner when they are back.” The elf bowed again. 

Regulus felt a trickle of cold fall down his spine at the mention of his mother, a reminder of what was to come, since he had written that letter. ‘Master Regulus’ was not a new title, Kreacher had called him that in private for a very long time, so he still felt uneasy. The letter in his pocket rustled seemingly louder as he moved to hold the Elfs hand, to be pulled into a black hole that tightened his chest, constricting it. 

*~~~~~~~~*  

You also understand what is at stake here. We know  

you will not disappoint us.  

*~~~~~~~~*

Chapter Text

Standing in his bedroom; Regulus isn't sure if he had ever been as confused in his life. Sure, the creeping sense of dread that crawled up his spine as he unpacked and put away his clothes in his life was familiar, as was his mother's mixed messages, it’s just they’ve never been about him. Well guess there was time for that to change. See up until this point, they had always been about his brother. Sure, there were times that Regulus was punished, but for every one time he was, Sirius had four. One good thing about his brother being loud was that it always covered Regulus, allowing him to slip back into the shadows. Of course, Regulus didn't enjoy it, he would much rather his brother not be cursed, but it meant the spotlight wasn’t on him most of the time. And for that, his socially anxious brain was thankful. Did that make him a good person? No. No Black was ever a ‘good person’.  

Except the ones disowned of course. 

Regulus’s eyes swept across the black-green room, his eyes snagging on a singular piece of red cloth peeking out from under his bed. Odd, he didn’t remember it being there before his departure to Beauxbaton three weeks prior. He placed down the letter he had been holding in his hands onto the walnut desk, and walked over to the top end of his bed. Bending down, he gently tugged at the red cloth, pulling it from its hiding place. Grabbing it and sittibg back down at his desk he inspected it carefully. It appeared to be a small bundle. Deciding to unroll it, he noticed some gold tissue paper and,

oh.

Oh. 

*~~~~~~~~*  

It had been a long day and yet it was barely dinner time. 

Regulus sat on the edge of his bed, upright and tall as it had been beaten into him from a young age. His feet almost dangled from the wooden frame, his black velvet slippers just touching the floor lightly. Had he been anywhere else, with any other kind of upbringing, his legs would have swung backwards and forwards in a childish manner. He had changed from his black travelling clothes into yet another monochrome outfit (his wardrobe colour scheme was...limited) and was just perched, reading a new, more ‘suitable book’ when he heard the sound of his parents apparating back from their outing. A ministry meeting he presumed.

Click clack. 

He breaths shallower and shallower as the footsteps near the stairs.

Click clack. 

He mentally checks that everything is where it should be as they start to go up the stairs.

Click clack.

He pulls the mask over his face as they stop outside his door.

The door opens silently.

‘’Stand up when you are greeted.’’

Of course, a hello, a welcome, any sort of signal would be too much to expect from a Black, Regulus thought, although he himself is a Black so it is a little hypocritical of him.

‘’Yes Ma'man, my apologies, I will be better next time.’’ he said standing up and placing his book to the side. Walburga’s eyes roamed his figure, taking in the grey and silver suit, his now much shorter hair and his silver rings on his fingers. 

‘’Good. You understand the consequences of displeasing me and your Father. Dinner is in 10 minutes, you will attend. Then we will have a discussion regarding your previous letter in the living room.’’

‘’Yes Ma'man. Understood.’’ 

*~~~~~~~~*

Dinner passed un-naturally peacefully. They didn’t talk, there were no side whispers, no shouting, no spells. He missed it. Well, not the spells, not the cursing. He missed the sound, the feeling there was still life in the house. With Sirius gone, there were only corpses. Corpses of living ghosts that echo stillness through the halls. With Sirius gone there was no-one to communicate to, there was no-one to make snide remarks, there was nothing to fill the space, nothing but silence. Regulus missed the sound. Regulus missed Sirius. 

As Kreacher cleared away the plates, his mother stood up and motioned for him to follow before turning and walking out of the dining room. She did not even turn to check if he was following her, just expected that he would, because what was Regulus other than like a dog on a leash. Orion was long gone, he hadn’t stayed to finish dinner, instead getting called to go to another meeting, this time at the Malfoys. The scrapping of his chair as he left was the only thing that had made a sound the entire time they were eating. 

Regulus stood up quietly and left after his mother, sending a silent thanks to Kreacher, who smiled slightly and bobbed his head in way of thanks. To an outsider it would look like it was a sign of respect, for Regulus it was a small reminder that they still had each other. That he wasn't completely alone in this house of hell.

Upon entering the room, Regulus felt all of his instincts scream at him to run. To run away from here, leave his mother standing in the middle of the room, run into safe arms and not return. But he couldn’t. So he didn't. Instead he entered the room, shut the door silently and waited for his mother to address him. 

She stood facing away from him, her yew wand with a dragon heartstring core clutched in her hand. Regulus memorised things like peoples wands, he memorised all the facts about them, a trauma response probably. It allowed him to guess who could harm him the most. The wand was, unexpectedly, not pointed at him. It was, however, pointed to his name on the tree. Well, his old name. The blackmark next to it showed where his brother had been burnt off of the tree, just how the blood-shadow on the dark-grey carpet was left by his brother one of the nights where their parents had almost gone too far. 

‘’We received your letter.’’

The voice startled him out of his thoughts, bringing him back from the dark-red splattered past, and back into the present. She hadn’t turned around. Regulus froze up, trying to think of a reply, but it seemed that she did not need one. 

‘’We were most displeased by your tone. You should know better should you not?’’ Regulus tensed up, fully expecting her to turn around and for the wand to point at him. He bowed his head, ready for any curse she would cast at him. Notably Legilimens or Crucio , she had grown to favour the use of those two as they grew older. She turned and Regulus looked up to meet her with a blank gaze.

To his surprise, her wand wasn’t pointed towards him, rather she was fiddling with it in her right hand as she looked him up and down coolly. After a while, or it could have been 30 seconds - Regulus really didn’t know - , she sighed.

‘’Me and your father have generously decided to allow you to change your name, and act as a man as long as you do one thing.’’

Regulus wanted to shake her for a moment. Whatever this was, it was not what he was expecting. He wasn't being cursed, he wasn't being disowned, he wasn’t, for the first time, writhing on the floor in agony in this room. He nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak lest he appear too eager in his reply.

‘’As you are aware, you are moving to Hogwarts’’ she paused, almost as if waiting for a reply, but Regulus knew not to. She continued, ‘’you will be allowed to call yourself our male heir, as long as you remain the perfect heir. Understood?’’

He nodded.

‘’Speak when I ask you a question.’’

‘’Yes Ma'man. I understand. I will try not disappoint you or father.’’

‘’We are Black’s. We do not try we do.’’ She looked him over once again. ‘’You will make us proud. Dismissed.’’

Chapter Text

The rest of the week passed surprisingly quietly for once. There were no parties to attend, no screamed conversations, nothing. In fact Regulus barely saw his parents, sometimes seeing them for the first time for dinner after a day of radio silence. He liked it better that way. It allowed him to hide in his room, reading his school books and the hidden stash of muggle literature he had hidden with little fear of being discovered. It was uneventful to say the least. He did not leave the house once in the week he spent there, not even to get his school robes at books. Walburga had ordered his books before he had even come back to England, and a seamstress had come round on Wednesday to measure him for his robes. They arrived two days later, Walburga’s lip curling in minor disgust at the simple black robe and in her words ‘common muggle jumper and tie’. They were a far cry from the fancy navy blue cloak and suits that were worn in Beauxbaton. Regulus loved it. The suits had always irritated him with their sharp collars and the clasps on the cloaks were too fiddly. The Hogwarts robes he found were much softer and easy to move in. 

They were also more baggy, allowing him to cover his chest area, appearing more flat. He had despised the Beauxbaton uniforms a lot, partly because of the sensory issues, but mainly because they enhanced his curves, tightly fitting along his body. When he looked in the mirror when trying on the Hogwarts uniform he had to cover a gasp because he had just had a sudden rush of just feeling like him . Just Regulus Arcturus Black. 

And now he was here. Standing in front of a red steam train at a quarter to eleven. Not late. Not early. Exactly on time to arrive at the station with enough time to be situated, but not too long that it would become boring. His palms were damp as he kept his head low as Walburgas taloned hand gripped his shoulder as she pushed him through the crowd as smoke came from the train making it all foggy. They kept marching until they stood next to a brick pillar directly in front of an empty carriage door.

Roughly moving Regulus in front of her, he saw through his lower lashes her scrutinising his outfit. It was nothing flashy, just a simple black traveling cloak with a silver clasp in the center in the shape of a serpent. She nodded once, the only signal that she approved of this outfit before turning towards the carriage, wrinkling her nose in distaste at the smell of the smoke. 

‘’Muggle inventions. So dirty and disgusting. They really should find a better way to arrive at this school, are they really this incompetent at magic that this foul smoking abomination is the best way to get there?’’ Regulus said nothing in answer, not willing to put himself at risk of a telling off just before leaving. She remained muttering about ‘muggles’ and ‘filthy creations’ for a few moments longer before turning back to Regulus and snapping her fingers in front of his face, effectively grasping his attention, drawing it to her and her only. 

‘’Look at me’’ she commanded. Regulus did so. ‘’You are now the heir to the house of Black. You are now attending Hogwarts. You understand that you will be placed in the Slytherin, correct?’’ she paused waiting for his response. Regulus nodded. ‘’You are expected to achieve high results. There is no slacking, do you understand me?’’ he nodded again. ‘’And you, under no circumstances, shall talk to that blood traitor . Do you understand me?’’

Regulus nodded. ‘’Yes maman. I understand. I will make you and father proud.’’

Her eyes pierced him, scanning for any signs of dishonesty in his tone or body language. Truth be told, Regulus hadn’t even let himself think about Sirius. Not really. He knew of course where he was, The Potters, and he also knew that he would be at Hogwarts, going into his sixth year. But thinking about Sirius was painful, like a gaping hole in his chest, not to mention dangerous. His parents never acknowledged his existence, avoiding his name and pretending that he had never existed within the walls of the house. In fact, the only times Regulus had heard them even slightly mention Sirius was the two times he had been warned against speaking to the ‘blood traitor’.

Regulus resisted the urge to squirm under Walburgas scrutinizing gaze. Suddenly, he felt her eyes lift off of him and heard a slight disapproving gasp. Regulus couldn’t turn around to see what exactly had displeased her, but very soon he didn’t need to. Voices floated into the air, loud and clear through the smoke. 

‘’Oi! Gimme back my wand Prongs!’’

‘’Nuh uh. Too late, unless you are willing to trade for it back Pads.’’

‘’it ‘s my wand!’’

‘’Boys! Calm down! We’re in the middle of the station.’’ came a warm chiding female voice, ‘’and James, give Sirius back his wand.’’

‘’Sorry mum.’’ came the slightly subdued, but still cheerful reply.

‘’Haha, get wrecked bitch.’’

‘’Sirius! Language!’’

‘’Sorry Effie!’’ 

Regulus stood stock still listening to the whole exchange, hands growing colder by the second. Sirius sounded so…free. So, happy. He had never heard Sirius sound so cheerful in his life. The grip on his shoulder tightened impossibly more, so much so that he had to suppress a wince, schooling his face into the mask of perfect blankness that he always wore. 

‘’The train leaves in five minutes. It is time for you to go. I expect you to write to us the moment you are in your dorm room this evening with the news that you are in Slytherin.’’

‘’Yes maman. Farewell. I shall write the moment I am available. I will not disappoint you.’’

She did not reply in words, rather turned and pushed him rather roughly in the direction of the train. Quickly recovering from this. He walked into the nearest carriage, taking care not to look anywhere but in front of him.

*~~~~~~~~*

Sirius interlude 

‘’Sorry Effie’’ Sirius called back. In actuality, he was too busy grinning at the thought of going back to Hogwarts and seeing his friends again to particularly care about it, be he apologised all the same. 

He turned back around and grinned at the boy with glasses in front of him, hair unruly as ever. 

‘’James, race you to see who can find Moony first?’’ It was a running joke between them that Remus was always really early to gain a seat before the rush, but most importantly to get some last un-interrupted peace to read before the storm started.

The bespeckled eyes lit up, pupils sparkling with mischief.

‘’You’re on Padfoot. Race ya!’’ he called over his shoulder, already running towards the train.

‘’Oi Prongs, no fair! You cheater!’’ yelled back Sirius, taking off after him in hot pursuit. He ran after the brunette, nearly hitting three people in his haste. Then something out of the corner of his eye made him stop abruptly. Turning he found himself locking eyes with her . 

What the fuck was she doing her. Her eyes ripped away from his, and traveled down towards her hand. Following her gaze, his eyes landed on…

Regulus. But he had cut his hair. And he had on the boys school uniform. And what the fuck was he doing here at hogwarts? Unless….

So many questions where floating around his head, mingled with insults towards Wallburger, so the inside of his head sounded like a war in between the ‘’what?’’ ‘’that fucking bitch’’ and ‘’HE CUT HIS HAIR’’. He had so many questions floating around that he hadn’t noticed James creeping up beside him until a warm brown hand was placed on his shoulder, making him slightly jump.

‘’You alright there, Pads? You’ve been staring at nothing for a good 5 minuets.

Sirius blinked at him. They turned to look over his shoulder, only to be met with nothing but a foggy grey swirling mist in front of him. 

He went to point at the mist, but thought better of it. Trying to shake off the feeling of having her eyes on bim again, he grinned back at James. 

‘’I’m fine Prongs, no need to get your antlers in a twist.’’

James grinned back, but his eyes were still full of worry. He opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius cut him off, ‘’Besides, this is just your loss. Race ya!’’ he said hurriedly, before speeding back down the platform, towards the red and black steam train.

‘’Oi! You twat! Get back here, that’s unfair.’’ James yelled in response, he too starting off down the platform. 

‘’James! Language!’’ came a call from behind him.

‘’Sorry mum!’’

*~~~~~~~~*

Regulus POV

Getting onto the train was the easy section of the journey Regulus quickly discovered. After levitating his bag onto the luggage rack at the end of the hall carriage, he found his way to an empty carriage. He had looked out the window, but was unsurprised to not find his mother nor recognise her stance amongst the hazy figures along the platform. Settling down on the rough plaid seating, he had barely read the first three lines of his book before his silence was interrupted by three loud voices coming down the hall.

‘’Evan, your taste buds are simply appalling.’’ a voice floats down the hall, sweet but scornful.

‘’Yeah? Well at least I am not the one who favourite food is fucking creme brulee au citron vert.’’ an almost identical voice came more loudly this time, more heated then the last.

‘’You said your favourite food was fresh from the river tuna! You could have at least picked Salmon. Tuna is not even that good!’’

‘’Personally, I think Ramen is the best choice’’ a third voice chimed in, much deeper than the rest.

‘’Shut up Barty!’’ said the second one, almost fondly. The third cackled while the first was still complaining over the choice of tuna.

‘’It isn’t even that nice. It had a bitter taste, and a rough slimy texture. I just cannot possibly fathom how you prefer it to salmon, it is sweet but not to sweet an-’’

They had opened the door and the girl had cut off from her conversation. He could see her now, but not quite the other two. She had mid-length silver-white hair, a fair complexion, and wore a deep blue cloak embellished with silver. Her eyes were a brilliant bright blue and she had an almost whimsical air about her.

‘’Ah ha! Another opinion!’’ she gasped, entering the carriage and flinging herself on the chair next to him, rather dramatically, ‘’Evan here is disgracing his name with his food choices. He is mocking me for my favourite food, whilst his is raw tuna fish. Tuna fish! Salmon is way better, right?’’

She folds her arms, eyes piercing at him as she clearly expected an answer.

Regulus raised an eyebrow, ‘’I cannot say I have had either fish raw, but personally I am partial to a bit of salmon myself. I find Tuna to be unsavory.’’

She gasped triumphantly, and pointed at the other silver haired boy, who Regulus could now see and had immediately guessed was her twin, ‘’See Ev’! He agrees! You simply have the worst taste.’’

Regulus had a sudden rush of joy and had to suppress a simile at that. She had referred to him and a ‘he’ without a question, or assuming he was a girl and he had never felt better about himself in years. The other boy behind ‘Evan’ cackled again, Regulus assumed that it was ‘Barty’, and shoved them both through the door, closing it behind them. Sitting down, he extended his hand to Regulus, who took it and shook it firmly.

‘’Bartemius Crouch Jr. Call me Barty please, I don’t and won’t respond to the full thing. Nice to meet ya.’’

‘’Oooo look at you Barty, being all civilized for one.’’ the other boy remarked jokily, shoving Barty with his shoulder.

‘’Well someone has to, and seeing that you two fuckers were arguing over tuna and salmon, I had to be the responsible one.’’ Barty winked back.

Evan laughed and turned back to regulus and grasped his hand, ‘’Evan rosier, and that,’’ he pointed towards the girl who was now staring dreamily out of the window, ‘’is my twin sister Pandora.’’

Regulus shook his hand. ‘’My name is Regulus Black.’’