Chapter Text
Sigh.
Astro let out a long and exacerbated sigh, a simple onomatopoeia, but anyone hearing it would be able to tell the large and vast depths of his struggles.
The room — No, the cage he was forced in, was a dark and lonely space.
Such is the consequence for disobeying an entity like Dandicus. Astro refused to call him by his disgustingly cheery nickname when alone, the thought of ever becoming accustomed to his wicked ways sickened him.
Instead of pondering longer on his captor, he decided to rest up while he could.
Resting his head on the ice cold floor, he thought about the things he saw while he was out.
Cosmo...
Astro liked thinking about this toon. They never interacted, but he thought of him as a similar being to himself. Maybe this was his way of coping, fantasizing and projecting his own twisted beliefs onto an unknowing and unsuspecting toon.
But... it felt so nice having someone who he could relate to.
Their situations were practically the same in his eyes. Anyone living in gardenview knew about the twisted nature of Sprout. His...posessiveness. Astro believed Dandicus was the same, the one difference being Sprout was a lot more sexual than Dandicus.
He must've thought he was being sneaky, or maybe he enjoyed the thrill. Astro always paid special attention and it could even be described as stalking — either way, he always caught Sprout in the act. The way he would slide his lanky fingers down the pastry's tights when he assumed nobody was looking... The flush of Cosmo's face and the deep shame was etched into Astro's memory.
It hurt Astro to see him suffering.
But...
It was also a guilty pleasure.
Something about his face... just, something about the look of shame on Cosmo looked... so perfect. It made Astro feel good, it made him feel... right. He wanted to see more, he needed to. He so desperately desired the confirmation that he wasn't the only pathetic person in this hell hole.
Maybe his sickening ways was what put him into this situation. He wasn't supposed to be like this, nobody said it out loud, but he knew they knew. The reason why his toon handler turned a blind eye to him and Dandy's relationship, the reason why Delilah looked in disgust at her creation...he was a failure. Both his arms and his personality were enough proof of that. Maybe thats why the thought of someone possibly being just like him was so exciting. His entire body ached to be seen by Cosmo just like he's seen him. Maybe to Cosmo he was just like Dandicus.
...
Im awake now.
Disgusting. I am...disgusting. I deserve it. Everything Dandy did... it's all because of me. It's because im like this that im in this place.
He shouldn't have been looking at Cosmo. He shouldn't be feeling this way... he was a monster.Dandy was right to punish him, how could he even stand such a vile presence? Astro felt so...so...filthy. Such a being was a mistake. He itched and clawed at his skin, the need to restart was tearing him apart
Erase. Erase. Erase. He needed to scratch off the filth. Maybe if he went a bit harder...
"Ugh-"
He bit his lips to cut off his moan from fully escaping, crying was a privilege... something he didn't have. Dandy taught him enough lessons to understand that no matter how loud you scream, you will still be a worthless being. The only thing he could do was keep scratching. He wanted to peel out his skin and replace his insides.
It was working! The ichor gushing out from his thighs was a clear sign of his achievement. Looking at his hard work, he felt proud. He was so close to everything he wanted.
He felt just a little bit cleaner.
Astro wanted to be satisfied with just this but the image of Cosmo's face screamed at him, Cosmo was telling him something. The swiss roll knew what he truly wanted, the swiss roll told him it was okay. The swiss roll opened the closet door.
Swoosh.
The door opened swift, commanded by the brown hands guiding it. It quickly reached its stop with a loud thud against the wall.
"Its unlocked for once- Oh."
Cosmo froze at the sight before him, one of the main characters were sitting on the cold ground floor, evidence of tears still stained on his face and a pool of ichor lie on his thighs, nails, and underneath the floor. His feet were temporarily glued to the ground, before it let loose with a spring. His survival instincts kicked in and he knew better than to question the situation before his eyes. He prepared himself to run.
Astro was in a similar state of shock. The object of all his desires was standing above him. And they were alone. No Dandy to punish him for simply locking eyes with the brownie, no Sprout to do who knows what behind closed doors.
"O-oh im sorry! I'll be on my way now."
No!
Right before Cosmo could bolt out of the closet. Astro took a leap and lunged for him, he couldn't let him go, not now when he's finally found him.
"Cosmo, Cosmo please dont leave me." The words felt natural coming out of his mouth. To Astro, he had begged and pleaded with Cosmo many times already.
He continued to ramble on. Words continously flowed out of his mouth, the moon knew he had one chance. Astro knew he would be met with a disgusted face when he finished, but couldn't he stay deluded for just a little longer? The moment passed in a haze. He didn't even know how long it had been.
All he knew is that as he continued to talk he began to become aware of his surroundings once again. He began to notice things he hadn't before in his craze. His heavy panting, the way his heart was jumping and racing, the fact his eyes were clammed shut... Nor the fact that he currently had Cosmo locked in a tight embrace underneath him. He had him pinned down. Astro also didn't notice the hand patting him from underneath, calling his name...
"-stro. Astro... Astro!"
"H-huh..?"
Astro finally got a good look at the man he was pleading with. His disheveled sweater, red eyes... and the tear stained face resembling his own. Had Cosmo been crying before this...?
And as he silently scanned the toon he finally settled on his flushing cheeks and embarassed, but not disgusted expression.
Cosmo's gaze turned to Astro's. He affectionately fondled his cheek.
"Astro it's okay. I wont leave if you dont want me to."
He gently pushed the moon off of him, and sat up with an unreadable expression on his face. It obviously wasn't a positive one but its not like he was in utter terror either, Astro wasn't sure how to feel. Was this a success?
"Did you even notice we were still in the hallway?"
Cosmo lightly scolded the man.
"Sp...Anyone, might have seen us." Cosmo lightly shaked. An unnoticable tremble but noticed by Astro, he wondered, did simply thinking about Sprout make him so nervous or was it something else?
Either way, he had a chance to talk with his idol and he needed to take it.
"Yes...im sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"No shit you weren't. We're lucky its such a secluded area."
The foul words coming from his mouth shocked him. From Sprout? He expected. But such coarse words coming from Cosmo's mouth was something he didn't know about him.
He guessed... there was a lot he didn't know about Cosmo. A lot that couldn't be read simply by watching from afar. But he wanted to know more, he needed to. Like, the way Cosmo's face showed concern while analyzing his state, yet he didn't pry. Astro liked it. He'd rather not elaborate on what a pathetic fool he was, his affairs with Dandy—No, Dandicus, and the wretched thoughts that brought him to harm himself.
"Hey. I need to get going soon, Sprout- and others... still come by to this place, no matter how estranged it is from the main building." Cosmo fiddled with his pocket, before finally pulling something out. It was a small and wrapped Astro cookie, left overs from the baking special they filmed.
"Take this, you look like you've been starving."
Speak for yourself, Astro wanted to say. But his weak and tired vocal chords had reached their limits for the day. A simple nod was all he had to express his gratitude.
Cosmo was getting up now. Astro wanted to cry, to scream. He so desperately wanted him to stay. Just a little longer...
"Oh and one more thing." Cosmo stopped right infront of the door, hand on the nob. "I dont know why this place is always locked, but im guessing its not supposed to be open today. I'll ask Sprout's handler for the keys and stop by when I can."
Yes!
Astro violently nodded his head, coupled with his loss of blood, it made him extremely dizzy, but he'd suffer at least that much for Cosmo's warmth. He had no idea why the swiss roll was so open to meeting with him but he had absolutely zero objections.
He took one last glance at Astro and finally shut the door.
See you again, Astro.