Chapter Text
Shikamaru sighed. Naruto, beside him, hesitated but said nothing. He wasn’t surprised. He had told him he was nearly in love with a woman who turned out not to be his girlfriend. The truth was that he had forgotten about Temari since returning to Konoha, but he did remember her when he was with Harika. It embarrassed him to think that Temari had only been a fleeting thought, someone he remembered only when he was about to kiss another woman. That was one of the reasons he didn’t kiss her.
The truth was, he knew what he had to do. He had known it even before meeting Harika. He had to break up with Temari.
"Can we talk, Temari?"
She frowned upon hearing those dreadful words. Shikamaru nodded toward Naruto, and he left them alone after staring at him for a few seconds.
"We'll talk later, Naruto," he assured him, so he would know he hadn’t been joking about what they’d discussed.
"Alright. See you."
Temari and he waited in silence for Naruto to go, to walk far enough that even his ninja ears couldn’t eavesdrop. He looked at the stone bench, debating whether to sit, but decided that what he had to say wasn’t worth sitting for. Ironically, Temari sat down. She seemed to think they were about to have a serious talk. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
"So? What do you want to talk about?"
"I want to end it."
"End it…?" she said, leaning back abruptly as if he had slapped her. Her serious face showed surprise and a flicker of pain. "You mean… us?"
"Temari…" he sighed heavily. "We’ve only been seeing each other for a little over a month. We’ve seen each other three times during this so-called relationship, if we can even call it that."
"And what would you call it then!?"
"We’ve had three dates. Three dates don’t mean we’re in a real relationship… We were just trying to see what we might be like as a couple."
"But you said yes when I brought it up."
"No. You proposed a relationship, and I said I wasn’t sure I wanted one," he reminded her, firmly. "You asked me to give it a chance to see where it could go. We’ve had three dates since I agreed to start something I already wasn’t sure about, and now I’m telling you I want to stop."
"So what we had meant nothing?"
"What we had, Temari? We haven’t taken a single step forward."
"But we were on the right track! All relationships start like this! Or are you expecting me to spread my legs from the very beginning!?"
"Don’t put words in my mouth that I didn’t say," he hissed coldly, instantly angry. "You know I’d never ask something like that."
Temari immediately deflated, staring at the ground. An uncomfortable, tense silence fell between them, giving both of them time to calm down. He saw her take a few deep breaths, clearly trying to compose herself, before she looked up again.
"I’m sorry. I know you’d never pressure me."
"I think you already know what I mean, right?" he sighed, suddenly tired. "Our relationship hasn’t changed since we started seeing each other. We’re still friends who’ve had a few dates. That’s what I mean when I say we haven’t taken a single step."
"But why don’t you want to keep trying? A month is too short to know if we could be a real couple. How do you know we’re not a good match? Why can’t you just wait, give us time? See where this leads?"
"This is the same conversation we had when you brought it up that day."
"And you promised you’d give me time! Of course we’ve only had three dates! We live in different countries! But I’ve been making an effort every time I visit!"
"I know, but I never asked you to," Shikamaru reminded her gently. He knew he had to be clearer, even if he didn’t want to hurt her, so he took a breath. "Temari… I only like you as a friend. I’m not in love with you, and I won’t be in the future, no matter if we go on fifty dates or date for a year. I don’t want to see where this leads because I know it’s not going anywhere. I don’t want to waste your time or mine. You deserve someone who loves you the way you love them, but that’s not me. Please… try to understand. We’re done."
Temari nodded, once again looking at the ground. Shikamaru sighed again. He felt sad about what had just happened, but also relieved. That alone told him he had made the right decision. Whether or not he would end up with Harika in the future didn’t matter. He didn’t like Temari romantically. Maybe if he had given in and agreed to date her for a year or two, he might’ve started to like her, or at least the idea of her. But the truth was, Shikamaru didn’t want that kind of relationship. Not when Harika had made him feel so much more in just seven days.
He imagined a hypothetical two-year relationship with Temari and compared it to a possible three-month relationship with Harika, and he knew there was no comparison.
"Alright," Temari said suddenly, standing and turning around. "We’ll talk later."
Shikamaru said nothing as he watched her walk away quickly, though something told him it had been too easy… Finally, he sat down alone on the stone bench, trying to shake off the bad feeling. He didn’t feel like going home. He needed to be alone.
…
The first time he met Temari, when he was only twelve, he thought she was arrogant, overly confident. Maybe arrogant wasn’t the right word. Maybe condescending fit better. She had come to Konoha ready to invade and hadn’t bothered to hide the way she occasionally looked down on them. Shikamaru was lazy, but observant.
When he fought her, he gave up for three reasons: he was running out of chakra, he was bored, and Temari irritated him beyond belief. What happened after confirmed his hasty impression that Temari was an idiot. Did she really think they could invade with genin, chunin, and a few jonin teachers from the Suna escort? Later, once it was all over, he thought it through and realized Temari wasn’t as smart as he was, but that didn’t mean she was a complete fool. She was just… a kid. A cocky kid.
Luckily, Temari seemed to change quickly and for the better. He didn’t witness her growth up close, but the few times they saw each other over the years, she seemed less irritating and arrogant. Maybe because she matured. Everyone did, after all. Still, he couldn’t deny that she exasperated him most of the time.
Once, years after the Suna invasion, Temari came back to Konoha for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately for him, he ran into her just as she was entering through the village gates.
"Well, well. We meet again, Nara," she smiled, crossing her arms and walking up to him. "It’s been a while."
"Temari," he greeted, suppressing a sigh.
"Why don’t you show me around the village? I didn’t get a good look at it last time, and now I’ve got time."
"… Troublesome," he sighed to himself.
He swallowed the words that had been dancing on the tip of his tongue. Why don’t you show me around the village? Maybe because I don’t want to.
"Hey! Stop saying everything’s troublesome! Don’t be like that!"
He started walking with his hands in his pockets, ignoring Temari’s teasing words, thinking how troublesome it really was. The problem wasn’t showing her around the village. The problem was what would happen if he refused to do it. He felt a sharp sting of irritation seeing that, once again, Temari was putting her own wishes above everyone else’s. Words sometimes gave people away without them realizing it. What had Temari said? That she had time now. Had she considered whether he had time to waste on her ridiculous request? No. Why? Because deep down, Temari was still a little arrogant. Not as much as years ago, thank goodness.
The thing was, Temari cared about what Temari cared about. So, he swallowed his irritation and did what his father would’ve done with his mother. He sighed and gave in. That happened a few more times, whenever he ran into her in the village during her diplomatic missions. He quickly realized it was Temari who was seeking him out. After all, it would be hard to find him by chance in a labyrinthine place like Konoha, especially when he never walked the same route twice, just to avoid patterns.
He tried to ignore her, but she was persistent, and he didn’t want to hide inside his own village. Eventually, he found himself spending time with her, eating or walking around Konoha. Not because he looked for her, but because she joined him every chance she got. Shikamaru wasn’t an idiot. He knew Temari wanted something. But he didn’t truly understand it until his father brought it up during a game of shogi.
"Are you dating that girl?" his father asked out of nowhere.
"What g- You don’t mean Temari, do you?"
"Who else would I mean?"
Shikamaru said nothing. Temari always acted the same. She never showed even a hint of affection toward him, aside from her persistence in spending time together when she was in Konoha. He had never imagined it as that kind of situation. But the moment he pictured Temari as his girlfriend, he felt exasperated and uneasy.
"Temari wears me out."
"Then she’s a lot like your mother," his father chuckled, joking.
That conversation stuck with him. He didn’t know why at the time, but it was because he had interpreted it as his father’s approval in his own way. If Temari was like his mother, and his father loved his mother, then that must mean Temari was a good match, at least to him.
Yeah. He realized how much he had misread everything. That wasn’t a blessing from his father, just a casual comment. And him? Sometimes he was dumber than he thought. He was so fixated on following his father’s footsteps that he even considered swallowing his unease and asking Temari out until he remembered how much she irritated him and immediately dropped the stupid idea that hadn’t lasted more than two seconds. Fate, however, had other plans.
It was Temari herself who asked him out just a couple of weeks later when she returned to Konoha on a diplomatic mission.
"Shikamaru… Have you ever considered starting a long-distance relationship?"
"Relationship?" he asked, playing dumb. "No."
His answer had been blunt, but Temari didn’t seem fazed by his cold, stoic rejection. She just shrugged and kept talking. Maybe he would’ve admired her determination if it had been about anything else but this was about his consent. Here he was, saying no firmly, and Temari just shrugged, as if his opinion didn’t matter or as if, deep down, she was determined to change his mind just because she wanted it. Again, he found himself deeply irritated.
He knew Temari wasn’t a bad person. But that didn’t mean her personality didn’t fray his nerves every time he spent more than thirty minutes around her. As he’d suspected, she tried again a bit later.
"Shikamaru, I want to tell you something, and I want you to listen carefully before saying anything."
"…Alright," he sighed, defeated. "What do you want to say?"
"Look, I know you’re smart and probably saw this coming, so I’ll get straight to the point. I like you. I think we could make a great couple if we gave ourselves a chance."
"I’m not so sure about that."
"But I am," she said confidently. He held back an eye-roll, already irritated. "I just want us to give it some time and see if it works."
"I’m not sure I want to be in a relationship right now, Temari."
"Come on, Shikamaru. What have you got to lose? Imagine if we gave it a shot and found out we were perfect for each other."
Shikamaru sighed heavily. He looked to the sky, praying for patience while Temari waited silently, her eyes bright and a triumphant smile already forming like she knew he’d give in. They both knew he would, simply because they both knew how persistent Temari could be. In the end, just to get her off his back, he gave in to her proposal.
"Alright," he raised a hand before she could cheer. "But if I change my mind in a few months, don’t come crying to me."
"You won’t regret it, Shikamaru! Just give me time, and I’ll prove it to you."
And that was it.
The three dates they’d had were more like friends meeting up than anything else, especially since they hadn’t even kissed and he hadn’t shown her any affection. Temari had taken his arm a couple of times, but she wasn’t particularly affectionate, so that was it. More than once, he caught her eyes lingering on his lips, but he pretended not to notice.
From this perspective, their relationship was barely a relationship. In fact, he barely considered her his girlfriend, aside from the fact that, technically, he was seeing her in a way he wasn’t seeing anyone else. Was it understandable that he forgot about Temari so easily after meeting someone like Harika? Maybe. Was it fair to Temari? Definitely not. That’s why he had ended things the moment he saw her. It was the least he could do to avoid digging himself even deeper.
Temari was hurt, of course, but she’d get over it. It comforted him to think it had all been incredibly brief, that she hadn’t fallen in love with him after years of dating. The more he thought about it, the more relieved he felt for both of them. Like he’d told her, she deserved someone who truly loved her. Someone who could accept all her flaws and strengths. Someone whose dominant personality matched hers. But that someone… wasn’t him.
…
Days later, it seemed like fate had aligned in his favour. Or so he thought.
"I told you I’d help you, Shikamaru," Naruto said, elbowing him in the side with a grin.
Shikamaru looked at him in surprise. He looked around and saw they were alone.
"Are you telling me you got this mission?"
"Who else would it be?"
He stared at his friend in disbelief. Still, he gratefully accepted Naruto’s favour. Clearly, his connection with the Hokage had helped a lot. If he had tried the same thing, he was sure it wouldn’t have worked so quickly. He shook those thoughts away. The important thing was to leave the village and find Harika again as soon as possible. It had been nearly five days since he left her, and with each day, he grew more restless and worried.
He looked at the mission documents. It was a solo escort mission, which meant he’d have time to search for Harika once he dropped his client off at home. He calculated it would take four days traveling at a civilian pace to reach the destination, so he planned to send a clone ahead to look for clues. That way, he’d gain time by not having to do it himself after completing the escort. Once he knew which direction Harika had taken, and the mission was done, he’d go after her himself.
"Minamoto-san?" he called out to his client, who turned around. "I’m Shikamaru Nara, your escort for this mission."
"A pleasure to meet you, Nara-san."
Shikamaru nodded, a little impatient. Apparently, the man was a merchant who lived near the Land of Rivers and owned a cattle farm. His meat business was starting to overshadow his competitors so much that he’d received death threats. Fortunately for Minamoto, they seemed to be just threats and not actual plans. To be safe, he had requested a ninja escort.
"I’d like to get there as soon as possible," the client requested. "I was delayed longer than expected in Konoha and want to make it in time for my daughter’s birthday in two days."
"Traveling at civilian pace takes four days… If you want to get there on time, we’ll need to make very short stops and walk for hours. Do you think you can handle that?"
"Of course."
Shikamaru said nothing else, but inside, he was smiling. That meant he’d have two completely free days—days he was supposedly meant to be guarding the client—that he could use to look for Harika. That left him with roughly four free days, considering he could stretch the return trip to Konoha to two more…
The first day went by quickly, considering that his client was rested and prepared for the trip, so they covered more than half the distance. As they approached the area where he had last seen Harika, he created a clone to begin investigating. His first goal was to return to the cabin where he had left her. He didn’t expect to find her, but maybe there would be a clue about her whereabouts.
His clone dissipated at night, hours later, bringing back all the possible information. Beside him, the client slept while he smiled in the middle of the night. Harika had left him a map. It didn’t mark her destination, but it did show the places she had been. Judging by the route, it was obvious she was heading north and would likely comb through the east afterward, visiting the nearest villages. If he estimated Harika’s pace, considering it had been around seven days since he last saw her…
"There," he muttered to himself, looking at the map and circling a specific village.
At the next dawn, Shikamaru eagerly woke the client. They had agreed to arrive at his home that same morning, and he was excited to start the first part of his plan.
"How much longer until we reach Iwaki?"
"About two hours on foot," he admitted, slightly irritated at wasting time walking at a civilian’s pace.
"Perfect."
They walked in silence for quite some time. Shikamaru passed the time thinking about what he had to do and sharpening his senses to avoid being surprised by bandits or enemy ninja. He didn’t believe the threats to the client posed any real danger, more like a cry of rage from an angry civilian. Still, despite his plans, he was on a mission, so he took it seriously. The boredom, however, grew stronger, as did his desire to finish the mission.
When he finally saw Iwaki in the distance, he had to hold back a huge sigh of relief. The client beside him smiled and quickened his pace.
"We finally made it! I thought I was going to miss the party!"
"We’ll be there in 15 minutes at this pace."
They arrived in 10. Shikamaru accepted the client’s thanks impatiently, nodding politely.
"It’s been a pleasure to escort you. You can contact Konoha if you have any other problems."
"I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Nara-san."
He turned and left. Shikamaru exited the village in long strides, and once he passed the gates, he started running. For the first time in days, he felt alive again, a wide smile spreading across his face. He was surprised to feel this way when just two weeks ago he would never have imagined running back toward Konoha, eager to return home. The urge that pushed him to be by her side again was overwhelming. He had never felt anything like it before. Maybe he was so shocked by what he felt for Harika—despite barely knowing her—because his former self had merely been surviving. That meant the difference between who he was now and who he had been a month ago was enormous.
The journey through the Land of Fire in search of the possible love of his life felt almost short. He sent a clone to visit the villages he believed she had already passed through, just in case, but he himself ran toward the destination he had calculated the night before. Unfortunately, Harika wasn’t there. He headed to the next village with a heavy heart. What if he had calculated wrong? What if she had strayed from the villages, contrary to what her map suggested? What if something had happened to her along the way? What if she had—
Shikamaru stopped in his tracks when he felt her presence in Deiri, the closest village to Suiro—right where he had estimated she would be. He caught his breath in seconds, feeling strange and excited to see her again after a week.
There she was, dressed in discreet clothing but with a white hat shading her from the sun. He watched her as she browsed some books at a mobile stall, a small smile on her lips. Then, as if she sensed it, Harika slowly lifted her head from the book until their eyes met, almost like magnets. He saw the surprise on her face as she realized he was there, standing by a lamppost, watching her with crossed arms, holding back the urge to scoop her up and carry her away. The surprise quickly turned into a smile. She set the book down and walked toward him; first slowly, then a bit faster, and finally, with a laugh, she broke into a run, closing the last few meters between them.
Shikamaru didn’t even think, he closed the distance between them in a few strides. He caught her in his arms, laughing too, and pulled her tightly against him. He ignored the stares and smiles as he hugged Harika firmly. He used his chakra to vanish quickly, reappearing in a nearby park he had spotted from the corner of his eye half an hour earlier. They reappeared beneath the shade of a tree, suddenly hearing children shouting nearby, unaware anyone else was now there.
"I can’t believe you’re here," Harika whispered, her lips brushing the skin of his neck, sending a shiver through him.
"Where else would I be?"
Harika lifted her head to look him in the eyes. Her face, inches from his, was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He got lost in those green, radiant eyes for a few seconds before his gaze drifted down to where he wanted most… her lips.
"Harika… I’m going to say something crazy, but… I can’t stop thinking about you. Since I met you, it was like something inside me shifted, and now that I know it, I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be the person I was just 10 days ago," he confessed in a low voice, nervous, yet filled with strength for the first time in his life. Harika listened in silence, her eyes soft. "If you could find a way to return home and then come back here… would you come back to me? Or… am I the only one feeling this?"
Harika was quiet for a few seconds that felt eternal, studying every inch of his face until their eyes met again and she smiled.
"If I could, I would come back to you."
Shikamaru couldn’t help but exhale, his heart pounding. It felt like his chest might explode from hearing, in her own words, that she would return to him. It was the first time he had risked something so important and luckily for him, it had gone well. The woman he was starting to love, loved him too. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. In that moment, he understood why everyone spoke of love and risked everything for it, exposing themselves to someone who could hurt them.
Harika raised a hand and cradled his face with such tenderness that his eyes closed in pleasure without him even realizing it.
"If you don’t want me to kiss you, you’d better say so now," he whispered, leaning in with trembling hands.
"What the hell are you waiting for?" she whispered back, laughing.
Their lips met right there. He felt one of Harika’s hands on his jaw and the other on his back, pulling him close. He couldn’t help but bury one hand in her long hair, feeling how soft and silky it was. He longed to feel that hair on his bare skin someday, but for now, he was content holding her tightly.
Her lips, soft and velvety, parted beneath his. He kissed them again and again, unable to let her go, cherishing the fact that she seemed just as hungry for him as he was for her. He ran his tongue along her lip, begging for more, anything. He felt her tongue touch his, and as soon as they made contact, it was like being electrocuted. A shiver ran through him, and he felt her skin react under his hand, responding to him.
Suddenly, they were no longer just kissing. He felt the need to devour her, and unable to stop himself, he gave in. Harika kissed him back with the same urgency, devouring and being devoured at once. It was like they were one, their tongues dancing, breathing as one. He kissed her face, her lips, her neck… feeling her tremble with desire beneath his touch.
"Shikamaru…"
He had to swallow hard, his pulse unsteady, as he realized he was becoming inevitably aroused. He buried his face in her neck, sighing, loving the way her hand tangled in his hair.
"You deserve more than this," he said, recognizing the truth. He wanted to make love to her but not like this.
"I know… but you’re torturing me."
"Me?" he chuckled, nibbling her neck gently, hearing her moan, a sound that aroused him again. "You’re the one who keeps tempting me."
"How about we admit we’re tempting each other?"
Shikamaru pulled away from her, unwillingly. He rested his forehead against hers, feeling that same connection he’d felt with her from the beginning. Harika kissed his lips once, twice, three times, making him smile. Shikamaru cupped her cheek, beginning another soft kiss before pulling away completely.
"The sooner you return home, the sooner you can come back to me."
"Will you help me?"
"Of course. I know you wouldn’t live peacefully by my side, even if-... even if you love me, if you couldn’t see your family. I’m greedy, possessive… selfish, even, but I want you with me. And I want you to want, with all your heart, to be by my side. I won’t settle for a part of you. I want you to give yourself to me completely, without any doubt," he confessed, seeing the growing desire in her emerald eyes. "I want you to be mine in every way. I want you to choose me. Do you think you can handle that kind of need, Harika?"
Harika smiled, breathing unevenly, her pupils dilated. Shikamaru clenched his fists to stop himself from devouring her again.
"Will you give yourself to me the same way you expect me to give myself to you?"
"Have you not realized I already belong to you? Yes."
"Then… when do we start investigating?"
Shikamaru smiled triumphantly. "Now."