Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Art done by Me !! <3

All the things you could name that you don’t deserve, what’s left that you do?

Surrounded by white empty walls with dozens of crosses strewn up and hammered into the wall, sat the essence of darkness. Filled to the brim with only hatred, guilt, and sadness, the only light would be of his vibrant eyes, everything else absorbed into his blackness.

The fiery sting on his back awoke him. Tobias’ vision cleared, darkness morphing into a blotchy mess till finally undistorted. He remembered he was in the punishment room. He still sat in a praying position, sitting with his legs bent under him, though his arms rested in his lap now after he seemingly must’ve passed out. Trying to stand up, his frozen legs made no attempt to lift themselves. Tobias struggled, wiggling his toes to awaken his feet, then legs and so forth his entire lower body, he slowly stood. His legs still slightly asleep and tingling, he swayed on to his feet. 

Suddenly his ears twitched as his nerves spiked up at the sound of the door knob behind him squirming. He fully turned his body to face whoever it’d be that would enter. Though to his surprise, someone he least expected to see revealed themself. A meek, weak, and tired looking boy stood in the doorway. His exhausted eyes showed hidden surprise as he found his younger brother again in this room. He approached extending his hand out to Tobias, waiting for him to take hold of it as he showed a slight smile of reassurance like he always did. And like always, Tobias did reach for his hand in return.

The mysterious boy had chin length, ashy olive blonde hair with a face consisting of two dark eyes. Dark referring to the shadows under his eyes. Tobias only knew he had something called “Narcolepsy” which made him tired and prone to falling asleep suddenly. His actual eyes were a dull blue matching his personality perfectly; dull, as Tobias thought at least. Dull and meddlesome. But deep down Tobias knew. His brother was… kind and the only one who seemed to care for him. He was always trying to help him, help everyone… but the boy didn't want his help. He didn’t understand Tobias and he never would. His endless concern and effort was greatly appreciated but would always be hidden under the blank and unappreciative expressions and actions of Tobias.

Mattias was the boy's name.

“I’m sorry, Tobi. I don’t get why Father is so hard on you.” Tobias was now being dragged along as they quickly reached his room. “Does it hurt terribly?” His older brother asked concerned like he usually did whenever he had to treat Tobias’ wounds, getting no answer back. “Let’s get you cleaned up and changed, okay?” He said as he tried to sit Tobias down at his bed but he didn't comply. 

He might as well have been talking to himself as Tobias gave no responses. But Mattias didn’t mind as he was used to his little brother’s disinterest. It was not unusual considering the consequences of their living environment, or more specifically Tobias’, with their parents' strictness and utmost attention to him, and their siblings’ distance. 

Turning the boy around to lift his sweater, Tobias hears the usual slight gasp as his sweater is pulled over his head and taken off. The wound aching once again as the material of the sweater stuck to the dried blood of his back pulled away, ripping itself from his skin. He bit his lip to prevent himself from wincing. 

“Just please, stay here, okay?” Mattias pleaded expecting no response and quickly exited the room.

Tobias stood there and waited as cold air swirled around his now naked torso. As if fighting for entrance, chills crept up his spine, he shivered, and the cold air made its way through the open wound of his back. Caressing the burning sensation it kissed his injury and covered him in a thin layer of cold. Goosebumps slowly appeared over his body as he stared off into the single window of his room, the only thing providing light then. The sound of chirping caught his attention and he enviously watched two birds that flew around. Admiring their speedy fluttering and playful flying, he could only wish to be that free one day. 

You’ll never get out of here. His mind reminded him. Not alive at least. Tobias clenched his eyes shut to sound out the thoughts but also to soothe his dry eyes from staring at the birds outside. No one can save you, Tobias. You’re not worth the trouble. The thought etched itself into his mind, echoing and bouncing off the walls of his cranium. You’re not worth anything-

“It’s talking to you right now, isn’t it?” Tobias flinched at the sudden contact as Mattias hugged him from behind. Arms wrapping around his torso from under his arms, he was gently embraced by his older brother. 

Not even having heard or sensed Mattias’ presence, Tobias mentally scolded himself. At least that distracted him momentarily from the repetitive thoughts that beat him restless. 

“Whatever they’re saying Tobi, is not true.” He tightened his hug. “Please don’t listen to them.” Tobias heard a small sniffle.

Not being able to appreciate the gentle contact longer, Tobias felt the hair on his skin prick up and irritation rising in him. Don’t touch me. He tensed up trying to stop himself from having an unfair outburst. He was thankful for the unapologetic continuous effort Mattias put into showing he cared and thought of Tobias differently than the rest of their family members, but he couldn’t stand that Mattias did this purely out of goodwill. He had to have done everything out of ill intent, something, anything, that wasn’t because he genuinely cared and loved his revolting, repulsive, abhorrent, ungrateful, body and self. Mattias definitely secretly absolutely despised his loathsome existence. He should. How couldn’t he?

Before Tobias could get angry and shove his brother away, Mattias stepped back letting go. He turned to reach for the items in the first aid kit now situated on Tobias’ bed, something he had briefly left to retrieve. Cloth bandages, aloe vera gel, and alcohol for the wound, were all set out.

“Let’s get you bandaged up.” He stated, letting the closed off boy approach him this time of his own accord. When Tobias didn’t though, he just got to unscrewing the cap of the disinfecting alcohol bottle so he could treat his brother’s wound.

After a longer than it should’ve taken treating session due to Tobias’ unwillingly-ness to comply, they had his wound disinfected and torso wrapped. Quickly packing up, Mattias left thinking it’d be best to give Tobias time to himself and for worry he might be overstaying his sojourn as well (since he knew Tobias liked to keep his peace). He didn’t leave before handing a white long-sleeved dress shirt and another sweater he took from Tobias’ closet; a black one, to the boy to change into though.

That night, Tobias spent most of his time trying to sleep in unbearable pain and discomfort, unable to lay in his bed in a way that didn’t disturb his aching back. The burn had become numb earlier but it quickly stung again after. Acting as a constant reminder to him and as something from his father that he should never want anything more; like a hammer pummeling the already existent nail in his skull, that he should be grateful for what he had. Before soon though, his eyes finally relaxed, maybe from somehow falling asleep or passing out once again from the pain.

I’m going to die tomorrow. He thought one last time before his mind went blank.

“Tobias?” The dark haired boy opened his eyes slightly to the call of his name. “Tobias, Dear?”

He is met with the white emptiness of his bedroom ceiling. Raising himself to sit up in his bed, pain shooting across his back, his eyes pinpoint the sudden figure standing in his doorway. A short slim figure with chin length hair greets him with a small smile. Her blonde hair is dull due to the lighting and gray eyes accentuated. She wore a white blouse under her monotoned blue dress that stiffly draped her body stopping just below her ankles to reveal her black flat shoes, as she scanned the boy's face waiting for an answer.

“Yes, Mother?” Tobias replied with a slight croak in his voice having just woken up as his Mother entered his room.

“Good morning, dear!” She claps her hands together as she tilts her head with a smile. “How are you feeling? I just wanted to let you know that your father would like to meet you at the door whenever you’re ready.” Tobias’ eyes trailed her as she approached him. Bowing beside him to cup his cheek with one hand, gazing into his dark eyes she smiled once more as her’s softened. 

”I’m fine as always, Mother, thank you.” Tobias slightly leaned into her hand resting his eyes to try and find comfort in the slight warmth of her fingers.

“I am so happy for you right now and wish only the best for you.” She said gently. “Good luck today.”

“Yes, I am forever grateful. I’ll make sure this wasn’t a wasted opportunity.” He said, opening his eyes again to meet her now saddened gaze.

She had always tried to speak to him kindly and rarely raised her voice, yet Tobias felt like he struggled to find times where she truly showed she cared. It was small gestures like this where he could faithfully appreciate her actions.

A small silence passes. ”Well!” His Mother started. “I’d best let you get going then.” She slightly chuckled though Tobias found nothing was quite humorous.

“I’ll try to meet Father shortly.” 

“Of course. Breakfast at the table before you go, okay?” She quickly leaves his room with a slight cheerful hum seeing a small nod from her son in response before closing the door behind her.

Tobias decided he’d best not keep his father waiting. Gazing over to the plain black clock beside his bed to see it said 6:01 A.M. he set himself upright from his bed to get decent for his first day. Today was the first time he’d ever go to a public school and one of the first within his 23 siblings as well. Tobias knew he couldn’t let his parents, especially his father, down. Such a grand opportunity given to him by the grace of his father after many years of debate between his parents. He should do nothing to ruin this chance.

In truth though, there was a gaping swirling hole in Tobias’ stomach, planting itself within his organs, its roots spreading throughout his body. Tobias’ bones ached with restlessness and he felt as if every cell within him shook like energy scattering, fighting to be released. He felt as if he’d implode. Something was stirring inside of him leaving him almost breathless. It in a way, took his attention from the burning sensation on his back at least, hidden under layers of bandage and cloth.

The boy quickly grabbed the old wooden brush resting on the vanity of his bedroom to comb out his overgrown hair. Long black strands framed his face stopping right at his shoulders while the rest stopped below his neck. Slipping his hair behind his ears he retrieved a hair tie sitting near a lonely glass vase, also on his vanity, to contain his hair. It was filled only with one decaying dandelion; a wildflower easily accessed that grew all over the backwoods of the church. He didn’t quite have a favorite flower as he hadn’t encountered many, but he admired how the yellow petaled flower could become something completely different: a seed head. Which most didn’t even recognize as having been a dandelion before. Tobias tied his hair back, sparing a quick glance at himself in the mirror almost as if avoiding his own gaze, before leaving his room.

After the usual morning getting-ready of rinsing his face with water to further awaken himself, brushing his teeth, slipping on a dark gray sweater over a white dress shirt and pants, and a quick breakfast (as quick as it could be with 23 siblings), Tobias was on his way to see his father at 6:45 exactly. 

He meets his father at the entrance of the church. The man stood tall with adequate posture as usual and a cold unfeeling gaze that met Tobias’ as he approached avoiding it. The windows that ranged high welcomed light in effortlessly creating a radiating aura around him. The man at times could’ve even been seen as something almighty due to his distinct character, unexpected humble authority, and influence in the public's eyes. But Tobias knew he, especially, was far from it, no matter if he appeared to be it. 

“Greetings, Father.” He tilted his head downwards, unable to return his father’s eyes.

“Tobias,” His father acknowledges him, his cold voice striking the boy like thunder stiffening his stance. “You’ve got a piece of lint right on your shoulder.” He reaches over to remove it as Tobias freezes at the slight touch of his hand. After a quick flick that barely grazed him, Tobias assumes the lint is gone as his father gives him a small grin. He knew it wasn’t genuine but gave a slight smile back as well.

“Take this.” His father said, handing him a cellular device. It was black and bulky with multiple buttons under its small screen.

Tobias’ eyes widened as he realized what he had received. He hesitantly took the phone in his hand stroking the side of it with his thumb. He couldn’t believe he was being given something like this. 

“You are to only call me or Luther. In emergencies.” His father said harshly. “And answer me if I contact you.”

Tobias nodded, “Of course, thank you.”

He was slightly surprised at the name his father mentioned. Luther. His father’s twin brother. They were a complicated pair. They had both spent some time growing up in different places with their parents who split when they were younger and couldn’t be more different. Tobias’ father, Lucas, grew up to be the perfect christian good child for their overbearing mother and Luther, a free-spirited trouble maker with their rebel father in Germany. It wasn’t long though before Luther was left back in the care of their mother and their father disappeared once more.

Regarding that, Tobias knew little of his father’s twin, one who left immediately when he was of age and who Tobias only met occasionally when the pair needed something from each other. It was a surprise they even kept remotely in touch. 

“We should be on our way then.” His father’s smile drops immediately as he turns to exit out the doors in front of them expecting his son to follow and he does of course. 

Their conversations were short, barely a couple sentences said back and forth. It never seemed more unless it were a lecture given to Tobias by his father. 

Now standing outside the church with the fresh breeze blowing his hair out from behind his ears, Tobias studied the view. It was the same dark woods surrounding them that he had explored as a child and the same trees he saw every day, but today it looked less gloomy. The tall thick trees with their dark leaves swaying in the wind as if waving goodbye, stood strong. The viridescent grass was complemented by tiny white flowers and clovers. To the side sat the car that barely ever moved, his father’s small gray vehicle.

He didn’t know what he expected but he hadn’t anticipated his father taking him to his first day himself. He had assumed the man would be too busy as he always seemed, unless it was to tend to Tobias specifically for punishment and such. But there was no one else and now it’s them both in this car. There’s a slight awkward tension in the air for some reason filled with only the rattling of the vehicle as it ran. Tobias couldn’t even remember the last time he was in an actual car or if he’d ever been in one, let alone with his father. He wondered if it would always be this awkward during future car rides and if his father would always take him.

The room was dark, illuminated only by the lone window that faced them, the huge window being something immediately noticed if you were to walk into the room. It was covered by dark gray curtains that were almost completely opaque, only slightly open with bright moonlight showing through. Glum and simple furniture decorated the room, all seemingly dark with the little light provided. A big wooden desk sat in front of the window, its dark warm colored wood noticeable as a big office chair accompanied it.

A heavy tension rested in the air as a father glared down at his son. His eyes were filled only with contempt void of affection for the small figure in front of him. 

The boy’s shoulders slightly trembled but he tried his best to show he wasn’t afraid; he held his breath then deeply but silently inhaled to seem as stable as he could. But his father knew he feared him as done so purposefully. It wasn’t hard to often notice his son’s futile attempts to seem less afraid. That only made him want to frighten him more. He needed the boy to be in his complete control, obeying his every command to be something completely molded to his interests. This resistance would be meaningless.

“You’d better be on your best behavior.” Tobias’ father ordered. “I can’t have you tarnishing the Schneien name out there let alone making a fool out of yourself.” His sharp gaze pierced Tobias as his lips contorted into a grimace. His brows slightly furrowed as he expected nothing more than an answer that showed the boy heard him.

Tobias nodded as his figure towers over him. Unable to lift his face he stares at his black almost pristine shoes that were only slightly scuffed. It felt like the air was too heavy for him to stand in, almost making him want to plunge to the floor. Like a lump was in his throat, Tobias could barely reply back, “Yes, of course, Father.” His voice was lost in the empty space like it always was.

The lack of light further emphasized his father’s colorless eyes that always stared directly at him. It didn’t help that it was only the two of them here as Tobias feared these one-on-one confrontations. His stomach would drop deep into his torso feeling as airy but heavy as possible at the same time.

”Look at me when I talk to you, Tobias.” His father ordered and immediately Tobias snapped his droopy shoulders up and eyes forward, straightening his posture.

A sudden jump, Tobias assumes from running over a rock, jolts him back to his senses. The ride so far wasn’t anything eventful. It was definitely one of the first times or perhaps the first time he’d been so far away from home with lots of streets, houses, and a few people to see outside, but nothing that impressed him immensely. Maybe not yet at least. The green trees that showed the slightest bit of brightening at the ends of its leaves did pique his interest a bit as it was announcing Fall was near.

There was an abundance of more people and cars as they approached a light cream-colored building with a section of it having reddish bricks and tons of windows. Elkwood High, Tobias read, spelled out in readable-sized letters on top of the entrance of the school. He could hear the chattering of the presumably students as they walked towards their school. So many new people he’d never seen before walking with their peers or friends, laughing and conversing. A scene he never thought he’d get to witness personally let alone maybe one day being a part of it. Seeing all these unfamiliar faces reminded him of the pit in his stomach, an airless ache, ignoring the other lingering ache.

“Here we are.” His father’s voice suddenly rang in for the first time since the entire car ride as they came to a stop in front of the supposed school he’d be attending. “Get off here.” He instructed. “This is exactly where Luther will pick you up at 3:15 P.M. sharp.”

“Thank you, Father.” Tobias says as he exits the car, shutting the door with a slight thump and watches his father drive off, sparing him no other glance. He was a bit taken aback at the notice that his father’s twin brother who he hated to mention and who Tobias rarely met, would be picking him up after school today. But he let the thought get away.

A deep breath escaped him as he took in all of the new strange sensations upon finding himself finally alone: the birds chattering but being overlapped by voices and footsteps, the slight whistle of the wind with the sound of the asphalt being ground by tires as cars drove towards and away, and the thumping of his heart. He could feel slight palpitations in his fingertips. He figured he’d better get inside before he was completely overwhelmed. 

He now found myself sitting in a slightly uncomfortable chair as he waited.

“Tobias? Tobias Schreien?” He turned his head up to look at the sudden call of what he assumed was his name. “Wait… I think I said that wrong. My bad.” A cheery voice chimed. It was a bob-length strawberry blonde-haired boy holding a book and papers who had called him. 

“Tobias Schneien?” The foreign boy called again after correcting himself. “Okay, ah… I guess he’s running late…” 

He had on a black boater-style-like hat with red ribbon slipped into the hat's own belt-like loops. The boy also had a pink sweater over his dress shirt with white capri pants and white sneakers. The brown bag he had strapped across his body rested halfway at his waist. Tobias could see he even had a cross necklace around his neck and his eyes were a fiery scarlet. Perhaps they’d have one thing in common, Tobias thought. Overall he had a sort of feminine look to him. 

Realizing he had been lost in thought analyzing the boy Tobias finally replied “Apologies, I’m right here.” He says before the red-eyed boy could leave.

“Oh! Hi! Sorry!” He approached Tobias with a teeth filled smile. “My name is Rudolph! I’ll be showing you around!”

Immediately, Tobias felt bothered by the overly cheerful and friendly demeanor of Rudolph. He also noticed he had a slight Danish accent as his words were softer and sort of flat. The red-eyed boy stared at him for a second expecting him to say something.

“It’s nice to meet you, Tobias!” The boy outstretched his arm for a handshake.

His sleeve slightly lifted to reveal his wrist that had many marks. But Tobias decided not to address them as it wasn’t his place to. He could guess millions of things that could have caused that. He had a few scars of his own whether self-inflicted or not, and as he wouldn’t point that out about himself, Tobias wouldn’t do so to Rudolph as well.

“Please do not touch me.” Tobias says, slightly avoiding Rudolph’s hand to reach for the bag that sat next to him as he stood up from his seat, letting out a quiet exhale.

“S-sorry.” Rudolph apologized nervously as he pulled his hand away. “I have your schedule by the way! You look a little young to be a junior though… if you don't mind me saying!

“I excelled at the placement test.” Tobias simply told him with no care to further elaborate.

“Oh! You must be really smart!” The boy smiles at him once again as he leads Tobias out of the office. “I turned 17 in May, I’m also a junior!”

Tobias examines the few students roaming the halls watching them take their time speaking to each other, grabbing or taking something from their lockers, or just not making any effort to get to class at all. Tons of lockers lined the hallway shutting with an ear piercing bang. Their blue metal coat dull and unfascinating though Tobias felt just the tiniest excitement throttle in his stomach at the idea of what textbooks and items he’d be filling his with. For the first time, experiencing the school life he had read many times about.

“I noticed your accent. Where are you from?” Tobias asked Rudolph, trying to at least spare the poor boy an awkward encounter by attempting to start a conversation.

“Ahah- I’m trying to fix it… I moved from Denmark last year!” He says a little dejected. “Don’t have any friends yet, though. Hah…” Rudolph sighed a bit at the end.

“Interesting. You must be very dislikeable to have been here this long and still have no friends.” Tobias says faster than his mind can register to filter his words. Though harsher than he had intended or if he had intended for those words to even escape, he figured he didn’t really have to appeal to this stranger he just met. Making him an enemy was not a goal though.

Rudolph’s eyes darken just slightly as he avoids Tobias’, an awkward smile on his face. As if trying to find the right words he ponders for a slight moment before turning to look at the jet-black haired boy and smile once again. “I guess you might be right- oof!” 

In an instant, Rudolph goes down with a little yelp and thud. Plink! He falls onto the pale tiled floor landing on his bottom. The book and papers he had been cradling scattered across the floor with a small ruckus. He looked up with slight fear in his eyes as he recognized the certain boy he had just bumped into.

Bright and light blue hair accompanied by tuffs of slightly wavy hair and an angry expression stare down at Rudolph. Eyes even bluer and vibrant hiding an unspoken intent, the blue haired boy scowls letting out an angry huff before speaking, “Watch where you’re going, nerd.” He proceeds to pick Rudolph up by his shirt with a strong grip putting the boy on his feet harshly.

Rudolph nervously grits his teeth as his eyes unwillingly meet the blue haired boy’s intimidating gaze. His brows furrowed as he attempted to defend himself, “I-I’m so sorry, Carmelo-” But the other boy shoves him back with a bit of force that causes Rudolph to trip over his own feet and once again make contact with the floor. 

Luckily, there seemed to be almost no one in the halls now except the few who didn’t care if they were late to class or not; to witness the ridiculous scene unfolding in front of Tobias. He wasn’t in a rush to get to his classes and finish this tour, though he had preferred if this unexpected encounter didn’t set him back either.

As much as he hated to admit it, Tobias had felt nervous all yesterday evening and since this morning. His stomach was not doing him wonders and he felt the tiniest hint of lethargy pooling at the bottom of his throat.

“Excuse me-” He attempted to intervene. 

“Shut it, freak.” The boy who Tobias assumed was named Carmelo quickly shot his attempt down.

“B-Be nice to him!” Rudolph whines from the floor as he quickly picks himself up.

“Don’t make me knock your teeth out.” Carmelo strikes back with a glare as Rudolph clamps his mouth shut.

And just like that the sudden encounter ends just as quickly as it began as Carmelo walks past Tobias butting Rudolph in the shoulder in one last angry fit before leaving the two of them to stand there dumbfounded, or at least Tobias was. Almost like he had gotten cold feet, the strange angry boy now stomped down the hall.

What was up with that? Tobias thought to himself.

“Just ignore him.” Rudolph advised showing a small smile as he grabbed his fallen papers from off the floor.

“If I may inquire, who was that?” Tobias asked to confirm, trying not to show his slight annoyance.

“Oh, that was just Carmelo Demonte.” Rudolph says almost bittersweetly whilst sorting out what he just picked up. “He’s your average egotistical bully. But don’t worry, he shouldn’t bother you.”

Oh lord. I doubt he will. Tobias nodded with a little hum in answer to Rudolph’s statement. “Should he choose to target me, he’d better be ready to deal with my means of retaliation.” He assured Rudolph. 

Tobias didn't know any actual fighting styles nor was he trained in anything related, but he felt he was not one to be messed with. He also didn’t appreciate being blown off by, who he thought of as, an angry child who didn’t have the brains to maintain their temper.

“You’re a very ah… outspoken boy, aren’t you, Tobias?” Rudolph turns around and shows him a smile that almost seems filled with pity, perhaps sympathy but also disbelief.

Tobias’ eye twitches. “Please do not chastise me. If you have no intention of guiding me, I would like to have my schedule now so I may go about my day.”

“Ah! Sorry! Let’s continue on our tour!” Rudolph quickly says with sudden enthusiasm and a slight skip as he overtakes the still slightly dumbfounded boy to lead.

Ignoring his mood switch without objection and making a mental acceptance to forget about what just happened, Tobias followed behind with a little huff. As the two continued down the hall, they made a right at the end of it. They entered another hallway with a slightly different vibe to the one before. This hallway featured large windows to the left which welcomed the warm lighting of the morning sun. It reminded Tobias of a past he had long lost. One where he felt he had yet to be corrupted with sins and evil. Glancing at the forest that surrounded the back of the school through the large panes as they passed, the dark leaves of the trees once again waved to them. They walked further where the windows ended and met with a brick wall as the atmosphere of the classes they passed became gloomier due to the worser lighting of the hallway. Soon they came to a slow stop as Rudolph waited for Tobias to join his side before anything else.

“This is your first period of the day!” Rudolph states. “Microbiology with Miss Fields. She’s very nice so I’m sure she won’t mind if we pop in!” 

And there it was; the sudden crashing of his nerves as he lost any sense of confidence or self assurance he thought he had. Tobias could feel the sudden rush of cold sweats wash over his body as he realized his harder than usual breathing that he was mentally suppressing, wasn’t because of the walking, but him being anxious. He was trying to keep a freak out session at bay and had been doing a good job of ignoring his boiling feelings up until this moment where he felt he might finally implode. 

Rudolph opens the door to the classroom stepping in first as Tobias hesitantly follows behind. “Hello, Miss Fields!” He greets as a dark skinned plumper woman turns around at the call of her name.

”Oh hello boys!” She replies back cheerfully. “What’s going on here?”

“Sorry to interrupt, I’m just showing around a new student who’ll be in your class!” Rudolph grins slightly, stepping aside to reveal Tobias who stood behind him.

”Oh! Will he be staying for the first period?”

”No, I’d just like to show him around for his classes first!” Rudolph turns to face Tobias a bit. “Say hi, Tobias!”

A light gasp escapes his mouth as his breath becomes scarce. Tobias’ pupils constricted and his stare became blank with slight wrinkled brows. In a moment he starts almost hyperventilating as he stares at all the students in the class he realized were staring back at him. It suddenly felt as if there were too many faces clouded over by some sort of shadow, their expressions unknown but Tobias felt they were anything but friendly. He couldn’t tell what he was looking at or who. Almost like an angry mob had assembled in front of him, he felt threatened by the presence of so many unknown people. He didn’t feel safe let alone stable. He needed to get out of this room now.

Rudolph’s face quickly becomes one filled with slight worry at the sudden mood switch he sensed from Tobias. He reaches over to tap Tobias’ shoulder to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. “Tobias? Are you… okay?”

As soon as Rudolph’s hand slightly grazed the boy's shoulder it was slapped away. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” Tobias yells a little louder than he had intended with a puff. If the class hadn’t been staring at him, they definitely were now. He was afraid. He could feel their stares boring into him burning holes into his skin. There was especially one stare that couldn’t keep their unnerving eyes off Tobias. Someone with dark licorice hair and bright violet eyes, ones filled with curiosity and especially desire. It disgusted Tobias. 

Before any sudden reactions could be made Tobias makes a dash out of the room. Gasping for air the boy had no clue where he was going. Shoes squeaking as he sprinted through the halls, eyes shut as tears now streamed down, and fists clenched. Tobias felt unable to control his body. 

“W-what the hell?!” A boy complains as his shoulder comes into sudden collision with Tobias’.

Tobias continues running with no regard to who he had just bumped into or who he passed. The boy just knew he needed to get away before he was consumed by something within him.

You’re weak, Tobias. Shut up. The boy thought. You couldn’t even handle that. Quiet.

Coming to a sudden halt in a random hallway to catch his breath as his lungs gave out, he rested his hands on his knees, hunched over gasping for air. What a disgusting mess you are.

“Please, just shut it!” Tobias begged aloud in a barely audible whisper, frustrated.

How will you survive out here? You know… you don’t have to listen to your father, Tobias. He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of his thoughts. Look at where you are. You could just leave. You can finally get away. Tobias twitched at the mention of the last words.

”Stop it. Stop trying to corrupt me. Father would kill me.” He pleaded with himself.

He doesn’t have you CHAINED, Tobias. Especially not here. His breath hitches. All you have to do is run out those doors. And as if pointing, Tobias followed where he was guided, looking up and to the doors at the end of the hallway. For a slight moment Tobias feels himself wanting to comply, giving in to his inner desires, listening to these impulsive thoughts. He was too easy to tempt.

”Maybe…” He hesitated. “Y-you’re right… I could simply choose to finally disappear… and-”

RING!

A sudden reverberating sound jars the panicked boy from his thoughts. The halls became loud as doors opened and the chattering of hundreds of students was heard. Tobias immediately felt it was a mistake to come here. Truly a mistake to have thought him possible of being able to handle this and especially to have been somehow positively changed by this new environment. He could see the students exiting their classrooms and hear the echoing, overwhelming, and overlapping sounds of footsteps as people approached. They were coming from behind and in front of him. He felt too surrounded. Trapped. 

Tobias clashes into the locker behind him with a bang as he holds onto the door of it afraid he’d be swept into the swarm of students. His breathing picked up pace once again as he felt his airway clenched tighter, taking less air each time he tried to breathe. Clutching his shirt where his heart would be, he felt it would beat out of his chest. Tobias glanced for a way out, any way to avoid the crowds of people, and in urgency he luckily spotted the boy’s restroom diagonally across from him. Darting for the room with no other thought, Tobias quickly crosses the hall right before the two crowds from both sides converge, unable to trap him.

Now in the restroom he felt the pent up emotions lump up in his throat as he ran for the sink. Tobias’ vomit is seemingly dark as tar as it splatters into the bowl. It drips down his mouth and he quickly wipes it away with the back of his hand, feeling tears well up in his eyes once again. The awful ache between his chest and abdomen throbbed teasing him. He gagged with nothing more to let out other than tears and his mouth salivating. 

“Oh god… Oh, God, please help me…” Tobias pleaded with himself as he placed his hand on the mirror in front of him to steady himself. “Please just let me make it through this day… Divine Spirit and Holy Ghost, give me strength to carry out my father’s wishes.” Let me survive today… He warily glanced at himself in the mirror afraid of the mess he’d see.

All of a sudden he felt a sensation on his fingertips. Looking at his hand placed on the mirror, Tobias sees the reflection of it reach out from within the mirror and grab his actual hand. It grasps his wrist aggressively and pulls him towards it as he pushes himself backwards. As if attempting to yank him into the mirror, his reflection pulled at his hand, its grip secure as he wrestled with it. 

“AH! WH- WHAT’S HAPPENING?!” Tobias cried out while trying to pull his arm away. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! LET GO OF ME!”

“You look tired, Tobias.” His reflection smiled at him. “Why don’t you come to rest?”

“NO! NO, WAIT, PLEASE. NOT NOW!” Tobias screamed as heavy tears fell from his face plopping once again into the sink below. “PLEASE NO! LET GO! PLEASE!” His mouth twisted into a deep frown as his eyes clenched shut. He looked a complete mess and no one would believe the scene in front of them if they were to witness it. They would not even be able to comprehend it.

NOOO! Tobias is pulled into the mirror.

Chapter Text

more art by me for this chapter ^^ ! @/s7o7y on insta btw

The sky was a light shade of blue with barely any clouds, and the sun shone brightly. The weather was just perfect with little wind that blew softly, just slightly caressing the faces of those who happened to be in its path.

“Tobi? Tobi, are you okay?” A faint voice called, “You can’t sleep out here, Tobi…”

The boy opened his eyes to find a bright sky surrounded by trees. The sun was blinding and made him squint.

”You’re gonna get sick. It’s too chilly…” The voice sounded closer. 

He could feel the cold touch of the grass beneath him and the gentle wind blowing through his ebony hair. His arms were outstretched beside him, and his feet were apart, lying on the ground.

It was Mattias’ voice calling him.

”What?” Tobias asked, slightly annoyed, glancing up at his eldest brother, who crouched over him, blocking the sun that stood right above them.

”Come back in. Please?” Mattias, who was wearing a mask, begged him. 

He looked younger, way younger. Like how he did about nine years ago when he was sicker, barely able to stand outside without needing to be immediately ushered back inside.

”Go away, Mattias. I’m in my element.” The carefree boy closed his eyes and stretched himself further out on the ground, letting the soft wind caress his cheeks.

He had rounder, softer, brighter eyes that remained faultless and innocent.

”In your… element?” Mattias squatted beside him as he looked down at his younger brother.

“Yes. I’m a wild animal. The woods are where I belong.” Tobias said once again, outstretching his limbs further. “This is my home!” He declared.

Mattias gave him a slightly weird look as he said, “Your home is in the church…” 

Abruptly, Tobias sat up to face his older brother, “Are you just here to annoy me?” He eyed Mattias more annoyed.

Mattias looks away nervously. “You… can’t just live out here. You’ll starve…”

Tobias turns over to flop onto his stomach, face down to the green grass, taking in the fresh smell of it. “Then leave me to die~.” He groaned dramatically. 

He thought Mattias was always too serious and never understood the fun of being playful. Tobias loved pretending he was some wild wolf, free from the confines of domestication. He could really breathe out in the woods where he was alone to be himself. And whether or not he really wanted to live out in the woods, Mattias didn’t need to be such a killjoy.

He heard the rustle of the grass as Mattias stood up. “Come on, don’t be so dram…”

Mattias’ voice trailed off. Tobias looked up to see him trying to steady himself, his eyes rolling upwards and closing as dark shadows overcast his face.

“...atic…” He wobbled for a second, attempting to stop himself before ultimately falling.

”AH-” With quick thinking, the younger brother quickly dove under to catch his brother’s fall. “I got you!”

Mattias’ body crashed onto Tobias’, unable to hit the floor, which minimized the potential damage to himself. Tobias groaned uncomfortably under his brother’s weight.

“For someone so weak, how are you so HEAVY?!” He whined. “Do you eat cement for breakfast or something?!”

He struggled to get Mattias off him. Clutching the ground and digging his fingers into the grass, he pulled his body out from under Mattias’s. His face was red from the struggle, and he let out a breath of relief, holding back a bittersweet smile.

”I guess I have to take you home.” He grabbed Mattias by his arms, positioning his hands under the unconscious boy’s armpits. Tobias grinned at the irony. “Was this your stupid plan to make me come home?”

He smiled bigger. “I hate you.”

Slinging Mattias’s right arm over his shoulder, he dragged his unconscious body with him back to the church.

Somewhere in the lonesome woods, a tiny, bulky box of a device sits on the grassy flooring. Its screen lights up once, shaking the phone, twice, probing it again, then thrice, a different caller. It stayed unanswered.

When he comes to, Tobias finds himself beneath a couple of leaves. Sitting up and brushing them off himself as he examined his new surroundings, his body ached with the unknown time spent on the woods floor. Bounts of trees circled him, their tall, dark trunks and green decaying leaves feathering off the arms. They brushed against each other in the gentle wind, swaying together as if dancing. He felt like he had a dream earlier, a surprisingly non-nightmare dream for once. But he’s been plagued with nightmares for years, so it was unlikely that he really did, and he couldn’t remember it anyway, so he didn’t settle on it too long. Everything felt very serene for the few moments he had awoken with a clear mind; just fresh air, a cool breeze, and isolation… and freedom until Tobias realized his situation. 

Where was he? How did he get here? What happened to him? Questions started to fill his head. He remembered struggling against his own reflection in the boys' restroom earlier back at the school. SCHOOL - Where was the school? Has the school day ended already? How long has it been? 

He glanced towards the sun to see that it seemed to be setting. What time could it be? Five? Six? He couldn’t tell, but it also didn’t matter right now. His father could be absolutely furious at this moment. Had he actually… run away? Had he actually dared? The intrusive voice that always poked fun at Tobias and degraded him had actually managed to get him to do the most unimaginable thing. Tobias won’t claim he’s never wanted to leave the church, but he never thought he’d ever actually have the courage to do so. Though he wasn’t in his right mind and could not say he fully consented with his conscious and physical self, he still did it. Tobias shuddered, not from the temperature but from the fear. The horrors that could occur if he were to return to his father… should he even now? He couldn’t even imagine the things the man was capable of doing to him that he hadn’t already done. 

The image of his father’s squinted, dark, glaring eyes that held no affection for him, only pure hatred for all he couldn’t and should’ve been, threatened his conscience. The man held contempt towards him for something he could not even remember, and Tobias shuddered at the thought of him actually having defied his father. What was he to do now? If he returned to his father, he could clear this situation up before it became worse. It wasn’t too late to do so, right? Would his father be waiting for him still, though? What if his father had already determined his fate? …Was his father worried?

“Get it together, Tobias.” He whispered to himself.

Standing up and patting any excess dirt off himself, he took a great look at his surroundings. He recognized nothing.

If he were to get back to the school and hopefully meet Luther, who was supposed to pick him up and who could potentially still be waiting, he’d need to find his way back first. But he had never been anywhere else but the church and the woods beside it. How could he find a way out of this place?     

Tobias stared beyond the top of the trees for any buildings or tall structures he may have recognized. It didn’t help that he zoned out completely during the ride to school; he couldn’t be sure of anything, even if he did spot something. He couldn’t even hear civilization.

Two older, grey-haired men were arguing. Their relationship was closer than friends yet farthest from friendly.

“Leave it.”

“What?” Luther, the older one, asked, appalled at his brother’s careless answer.

“I said, leave it.” Lucas repeated more sternly. “This was probably his plan. I knew he’d pull something like this.”

The man lay back into his wooden seat as he pinched at the top of his nose, his glasses resting on his nose bridge. A small migraine making its appearance could be felt. He was honestly concerned for his son, but more vexed with the fact that he used this as an opportunity to go against him. He remembered all the times Tobias used to run away into the woods when he was younger, only returning at nightfall unless brought back by Mattias. He wasn’t surprised his son used this as a way to run away. If Lucas used this as another way to strike fear into the young boy, perhaps Tobias would finally stop going against his orders.

”What- What are you even talking about?!” Luther asked angrily. “Something could’ve happened to him! It’s been three hours and he’s literally never left the church! Who knows what sort of trouble he could’ve run into?!”

”He’ll be fine. It’ll teach him a lesson.” Lucas sipped his cup of tea. “What do you honestly think could’ve happened? I’ll collect him later from wherever he ends up, and then this whole ordeal will be over with. He’ll see how blessed he’s had it living here at the church.”

He could only see this as another way to punish his son’s misbehavior. He believed Tobias was never meant to be separated from the church, and now he was paying the price. The world outside would make an example of him; that this family was the best thing he could’ve ever had. He knew that the boy would be begging to return.

“I can't believe you right now,” Luther says, slamming his hands on the table between the two of them. “You’re serious?”

Lucas didn’t answer.

“I called him twice, and you called too!” Luther exclaimed. “He would never ignore a call from you . Never. ”

“Well, I guess he would because he just did.” Lucas shrugged. “He’s just enjoying his newfound freedom.”

”I’m done with you.” Luther nodded with a resolve in mind. “If you aren’t going to do anything, then I am .” He stormed off.

The older twin stomped, irritated at the fact that he was unable to get through to his brother, as he left the church and got into his dark red car. That’s how it always was, even when he had tried talking to his brother’s wife to get through to him, nothing ever changed. It was useless to keep trying to convince his younger twin, and Luther didn’t know why he still did. Maybe it was how he felt bad for his kids, especially regarding a certain son they were just arguing about, or maybe that he felt some guilt from their complicated past. But he was getting extremely tired of this ruthless cycle. 

Suddenly, the rustling of leaves catches Tobias’s attention as he quickly turns his head towards it. A glimpse of bright blue enters his vision–

”What are you doing here, freak?” The intruding boy asked.

Tobias jumped with a little whimper. It was just the petty bully whom he had briefly encountered earlier with Rudolph. He let out a mental breath of relief and felt the sudden stiffness in his body die down just a bit. The loud and rude boy stared at the slight dirt-covered mess that was Tobias, annoyed to have encountered him. 

Tobias noted that this boy was only a couple of inches taller than himself though he definitely wasn't as scrawny. Carmelo seemed of medium build for a normal high school student.

After a moment of silence (Tobias thinking to himself), he realized he should’ve replied to Carmelo’s question (if the boy’s annoyed but expectant stare wasn’t enough indication in itself).

”I seem to be lost.” Tobias finally answered. 

“Dude.” Carmelo eyed him suspiciously as he pointed with his thumb to a pathway behind himself.

”If I may inquire, where does that road lead?” 

“It’s literally just a path back to the school…” Carmelo raised his brow. “What the heck are you doing here? Don’t tell me you skipped?”

Tobias pondered for a moment, trying to further sort his thoughts. He was a little embarrassed to have not noticed that the random road conveniently led back to the school. In his panicked state, he hadn’t even registered that there was a dirt pathway. But then again, he couldn’t see anything past the crowds of trees, plus his inexperience being away from the church as well. He wouldn’t have known this pathway led back to the school in the first place, as he’s yet to familiarize himself with this place. He decided he’d make another mental note of this new information.

“Oh…” He started. “Thank you for the clarification–”

“And would you stop looking at me like that?!” Carmelo remarked.

“Like what?” Tobias asked with a slight wrinkle in his brow, now confused by the unexpected slight outburst.

“Like however you are now! You have a pretty intense gaze, you know that?” Carmelo says. “What a freak…” He mumbled, to which Tobias ignored.

At least now he knew where he had to go. Hopefully, Luther was still waiting for him at the school. He still had no clue what time it was or how long he’d been lying here in the woods surrounding the school. Nor what happened while he was out– or how he ended up out here to begin with… But it wasn’t uncommon for things like this to happen to him. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d blacked out and woken up with no recollection of anything that happened, as to be expected when you black out, of course. It was just strange how his blackouts didn’t mean he was immobile and how often this sort of thing occurred to him. Almost every time when he would suddenly lose consciousness back at the church, he’d wake up having caused some mess. That was one reason his father was especially hard on him.

Realizing he was pondering to himself again, he shook himself out of his thoughts. Tobias was just about to be on his way, barely passing Carmelo, when he was grabbed by his arm. He flinched and pulled back a little harder than he meant, but Carmelo didn’t seem to care too much.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.” A certain blue-haired boy asked. “What were you doing out here?”

Tobias was a little confused as to why he cared so much. Even so, he himself didn’t know how to answer that question either.

“I don’t remember.” He answered honestly.

“Right…” Carmelo, who seemed unconvinced, eyed him again. “Well! It’s not my business anyway, whatever, I’m out of here.”

This time, Tobias stopped Carmelo from walking away. “What were you doing out here, if I may ask?”

“No, you may not ask. Mind your business.” Carmelo said mockingly before turning and leaving.

Tobias figured the boy was basically right, so he didn’t protest against that answer, though this attitude could use an adjustment. But alas, he wasn’t unfamiliar with the casual hostility. After all, he had 23 siblings, a majority of whom disliked him (partly due to his reputation with their father and mostly due to whatever event happened during his younger years, which turned most of his siblings’ good faith and his father’s especially, away from him). Those of whom, avoided interacting with him at all costs and acted like he didn’t even exist. Unfortunately, sometimes the younger ones, still ignorant, would approach him, and of course, things would go awry. 

A certain small incident abruptly resurfaced in his mind. It occurred the other day regarding two of his younger siblings, Isaac and Joy, who both just wanted Tobias to play with them. Perchance it was the uncertain feeling that rested in his stomach that day, just after he’d learned he was attending public school, or maybe that he couldn’t stand their liveliness, innocence, touchiness, and that they were oblivious as to why Tobias kept away from all their siblings regardless of how they treated him, that the incident ended with him accidentally smacking Joy in the face. The little girl stumbled back, clutching her forehead as Isaac stared at him wide-eyed and fearful. Whatever could’ve been the cause of Tobias’s mood didn’t matter anymore, and Tobias was sure those two now realized why all their siblings tended to stay away from him; he was a horrible person. Joy and Isaac were too young and new to know of the bane of his renown. It was bound to happen , Tobias told himself; that they would hate him eventually. They would’ve either learned from the others or firsthand themselves, this being the latter.

Isaac was trying to console Joy as Tobias ran away to deal with whatever emotion he felt was trying to come out from his throat, making a retreat to the woods, his comfort place away from the church. The only place he knew. 

You’re sick, Tobias.

He shook off the memory and the voice that was now awake. He momentarily forgot he was in a rush to return to the school.

Watching Carmelo leave, Tobias followed after his lead, for the slight fear he would get lost. It was quite a short walk, only about five or six minutes to get back to the school. The outwardly angry boy in front of him didn’t acknowledge his presence, and once they actually spotted the large building, the boy sped off, making his way to a small white car.

To Tobias’s disappointment, Luther’s vehicle was not at the front of the school as he had hoped for. But just then, it occurred to Tobias that his father had given him a cellular device, and he could use that to contact Luther. His father did advise him to call only in cases of emergencies, and this certainly was one. There was no way Tobias could get home on his own.

Reaching into his pants pocket, he found… nothing. Searching his backpack that fortunately and surprisingly was still on his back, he quickly dug in to also find nothing cellular device-like. Now the situation was sinking in. This was bad. Not only did Tobias somehow manage to skip about the entirety of his first school day ever and miss his ride home, but he also lost the very important phone that his father entrusted him with. Would the school have already contacted his father about his disappearance today? Did Luther leave after realizing Tobias wasn’t there, or did he not come at all because his father learnt of the news and told Luther otherwise? …Had his father abandoned him?

At this point, his breathing was becoming haggard, just like it did earlier today, and Tobias felt his throat clenching up. He could tell another cold sweat was washing over him as his nape was starting to feel moist and his shirt was sticking to his upper back uncomfortably. He bit the inside of his lip in frustration as his breathing picked up pace. 

Look at you, always getting yourself into these messes. You disappoint everyone around you.

Tobias continued to ignore the voice that was trying to knock him down again. 

This whole day had been a mess, and today couldn’t be worse. He was dropped off at some place he’d never been to before and pushed into this new society he’s never experienced, was uncomfortable all morning (and the night before as well– actually the days leading up), encountered so many strangers and the overwhelming shift of reality relating to the world away from the church he’s lived in all his life and never left, and now had no way of communicating with his father or his uncle, Luther, and was potentially abandoned. Tobias clutched his head with both hands, trying to calm himself.

You’re worthless. Useless.

“—..e…tie!”

He couldn’t handle these overwhelming questions and worries, and the voice that wasted no time in beating him down to and at his lowest.

You’ve been left behind, Tobias.

“-eetie!” Suddenly, Tobias realized someone was calling to him. “Sweetie!”

He snapped his head up and looked to see that the same white car that Carmelo had gone up to earlier was still there. A seemingly young woman with sky blue hair was calling out to him. It wasn’t difficult to figure out who that could’ve been.

“Sweetie, do you need a ride home?” She yelled from her car.

Tobias could spot the speckle of Carmelo’s head from the passenger seat beside her. He decided not to yell back and approached to a reasonable distance. He didn’t think he could raise his voice to respond without breaking into an absolute sob right then and there. He took as many deep breaths as he could before finally getting to a safe distance near them.

“H-hello, ma’am.” Tobias greeted meekly, almost breathlessly, trying his hardest not to absolutely lose his composure in front of someone he’d just met. “I seem to have lost my cellular device, and my respectable uncle, who was supposed to pick me up, seems to have left- or he didn’t come in the first pla— ” Tobias mumbled and choked up at the end. Swallowing hard, he stopped himself from speaking any further. He couldn’t let his worries overtake him at this moment.

“Oh dear…” She furrowed her brows. “You can use my phone if you need.”

“I… Don’t know anyone’s number. I was just given one today.” 

He unstuck the front of his collar from his neck. He felt too hot, and he swore he could feel the smallest of sweat drops forming on the back of his neck.

“Oh…” She stared at Tobias, almost as if examining him and thinking. “Do you know where you live?”

“It’s- uh,” Tobias started.

“You don’t look so well, darling… Are you okay?” The woman asked, concerned.

“H-huh? Oh, no- I’m…” It was now obvious he was breathing rather harder than normal, enough so that this woman could tell something was wrong. His vision was whitening out, or maybe it was the sun’s rays. “It’s just one of the old churches…by uh…”

He was now wobbling, unable to further speak, and his view of the world was fading in splotchy blobs. Everything went silent as the sound of his heartbeat intensified. And suddenly he was falling. He felt himself try to resist, but he couldn’t control his limbs. The last of his vision was a blurry scene of supposedly Carmelo’s mother’s face contorting to one of fear.

“—Oh my god!”

And then darkness.

Luther drove up to the school where he had waited an hour earlier, seeing a smaller car drive off before him. He was furious at his brother’s indifference to the situation and knew he had to do something himself. Everyone knew he was harder on Tobias than any of his other children, but this was another type of low. Tobias was a sheltered boy, and who knew what could have happened to him being by himself out here. 

Shutting the door with a little bang, Luther stepped out to reapproach the front doors. There were two sets of doors; the first three double doors were glass, as opposed to the second set. He barely got in when the same faculty members he had talked to earlier stepped out of their front office and walked out to stop him.

“Sir, we told you before, the boy is not with us.” The woman with brown hair tied back into a ponytail said first. 

“I know, I know. Isn’t there something else you can do?” Luther asked. “Can’t we please just check the security cameras?”

“As we told you before, sir, we cannot do that unless we have a serious cause for such actions.” An older, balding man spoke up. He wore your basic grey formal suit.

“How is this not a serious cause?!” Luther shouted. “My brother’s son is missing ! Why are we not grasping the gravity of this?!”

“Even if we were to check the cameras now, our security man clocked out at six, you missed him an hour ago. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.” The woman spoke up. “We staff also need to leave.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this!” Luther grabbed his head, frustrated. “No one else is qualified or has the keys to the camera room?!”

“No, sir.”

“And like you told us before, sir, this is his first time at a public school. He’s probably off enjoying time with some new friends.” The man said this time. “Kids these days are always staying out without telling their parents.”

“He would not do that!” Luther said exasperatedly. “He would never do that! You both don’t know the type of boy he is!”

“I’m sorry, sir. Even so, if something really did happen, someone would’ve seen or heard something.” The woman fixed her hair behind her ear, slightly annoyed. “He’s only been gone four hours–”

“Nearing FIVE .” Luther interrupted.

“So it’s best you give him time to show up. We are not qualified to handle these cases if it is as serious as you think. If he’s missing for more than 24 hours, we suggest you call the cops.”

“Tch. Unqualified is an understatement.” Luther crossed his arms. “Don’t you know the most critical time is the first 24 hours?! This is bullshit.”

“If you don’t leave, sir, we’ll have to call other security or worse, the police.” The balding man threatened.

Luther no longer felt like trying to talk to the staff who wouldn’t listen. It was tiring having talked to multiple people today who wouldn’t actually give his words any thought, and there was only so much he could do. This whole thing was so frustrating that he could only wish he was overreacting and everything really was fine.

Tobias’s case was also special, so he couldn’t get the cops involved anyway. He dropped his arms down, defeated. He would have to wait and see if Tobias turned up later. It was just over seven, and soon it would be eight. The sun was setting now. Luther could only hope Tobias was somewhere safe. He left the school with the last resolve to drive around the area a bit to see if he’d spot Tobias anywhere, before heading back for the night.

It was dark out when Tobias awoke; the windows above to his right informed him of that fact. He couldn’t tell what time it was or where he was as the room was also dark, the only light coming from what crept out from the door that was slightly ajar to his left. Groggily, he raised himself, trying to adjust his eyes. But unexpectedly, the lights were turned on as someone entered. The abrupt switch from darkness to bright lights momentarily blinded him, and he slightly winced.

“You’re finally up.” Said an annoyed voice.

Tobias turned to see that it was Carmelo. He was too drained to even worry and try to comprehend what had happened at this point.

“...Where am I?” He asked more weakly than he expected, his throat was dry.

“Oh, sweetie!” Rang in a second voice, a higher-pitched one, as a woman entered the room as well. It was, who Tobias assumed, Carmelo’s mother. “You had us so worried.”

She was wearing a white apron and had a tray in her hands with a bowl of some kind of soup and a cup of some beverage. Tobias could see now that her hair was a duller and darker blue, compared to Carmelo’s. It was braided, resting on one side of her shoulder. He could see she had the same vibrant cobalt eyes as Carmelo.

“Tch- speak for yourself,” Carmelo commented as his mother paid him no mind.

“Do you remember what happened?” She asked.

Tobias would rather not have, but he unfortunately did, so he nodded.

“We debated calling an ambulance, but our place was so close, we decided to take you with us just until you woke up. Then we’d send you right home.” She gently smiled. “Didn’t think you’d sleep so long, though. It’s just a little over ten o’clock right  now.”

“Yeah, told you we should’ve just called one and left him at the hospital.” Carmelo chimed in again. “Hurry up and get out of my bed.” 

“Be nice.” His mother said sternly with one glance at him, straightening him up. “You were also crying in your sleep, darling. How do you feel?”

Crying? Tobias has never done that before, but that alerted him to the crust of dried tears around his eyes and down his face. He frantically wiped them away.

“I’m fine now, thank you, ma’am.”

“That’s great to hear! It’s a wonder you didn’t hit your head too hard when you fell.” She popped out her right hip with a worried look. “It’s so late, and you both have school tomorrow. So I figured you’d just best sleep here tonight.”

She approached closer by putting the tray of food on the bed beside Tobias. Then, leaning closer, she tried to place a hand on Tobias’ forehead. He flinched away and immediately noticed the way her eyes softened. That slightly annoyed him. He didn’t want her to think she had him all figured out just because he looked like some sick, unfortunate animal right now. But he had at least the slightest bit of clarity left in him to realize these negative emotions were misplaced.

He also couldn’t understand why she was so accepting of letting a complete stranger stay at her home, especially in her son’s room. It was preposterous, really and Tobias couldn’t help but be a little skeptical of things. But they did help him, and he couldn’t imagine anyone who would bring an unconscious boy to their home, let them rest for hours, then offer them to stay the night, unless they were really trying to be good samaritans. Or could this be something else entirely?

“I know this is such a weird situation! You must feel so scared waking up and being at some unknown person’s home.” She exclaimed, trying to clear the awkward air. Then she sighed and gave Tobias an understanding look. “If you’d really like, we can send you back on home–”

“No.” He said a little faster than he intended to. “It's okay. I live quite far and couldn’t bear to bother you any more than I already have, thank you, ma’am.”

Though maybe staying at their home would be more of an inconvenience, since he’d be intruding on them longer than he needed to. He didn’t really know why he wanted to stay but Tobias was just so tired, he couldn’t stand any more moving around. He just needed to ground himself for a second, for one night. He had already experienced so many new things today. And he especially couldn’t stand to wake his father up at this time if he were to return home, let alone muster up the courage to face him.

“I think it’s best you eat something, then take a shower. You were sweating a lot too.”

Tobias nodded once again as he took the cup on the tray in his hand, quenching his thirst; it was water. Letting it hydrate his dry throat, he almost finished the cup in one go. He hadn’t realized he was that thirsty.

“Lend him something of yours, Carmelo.” She said in a more demanding voice, eyeing her son once more. 

“Sure, whatever.” He rolled his eyes.

“You can sleep here in Carmelo’s bed. He can make do with one night on the floor or on the couch if he so pleases.” She said, addressing Tobias again.

“Seriously? On my birthweek?” He sent an annoyed glare at his mother, then at Tobias.

“You don’t even care about things like birthweeks.” His mother crossed her arms, raising a brow. “And you’ll live with one night sleeping somewhere other than your bed.”

“Whatever.” He said angrily and defeated, heading to his closet near the corner of his room.

“Eat up, sweetie.” She reminded Tobias once more before leaving.

“Hmph.” Carmelo groaned. “I’m showering first.”

“I need to finish eating, anyway.” Tobias quickly retaliated.

“Shut it,” Carmelo said as he harshly slammed his closet door shut.

He had just grabbed some clothes to change into for after his shower and left with a small fussy shut of the door.

After about twenty minutes, he was done showering and only entered the room for a brief moment to drop his clothes into his laundry bin before disappearing quickly again.

With little difficulty finding the bathroom, it was now Tobias’ turn to shower. The room was still a bit foggy and steamy when he entered. The mirror was still blurry, and the floor was just a little wet, with the rug next to the tub being the wettest. It was an okay-sized bathroom with the sink and toilet to the left of the entrance and the bathtub straight from the door.

Tobias pulled his dress shirt apart when he finished unbuttoning it, after he had gotten his sweater off. He had forgotten his torso was wrapped in bandages and that he’d need to change them, but perhaps one night without them would be fine since he couldn’t do it alone, and didn’t have a change of bandages anyway. He quickly unraveled his torso, letting the bandages drop to his feet. 

In the bathroom mirror, he caught a glimpse of the dark scarring of the mark on his back. It didn’t help that it was pretty big as well, but it was healing up okay. There was a bit of blood on his bandages, but significantly less compared to yesterday. He could barely feel the ache on his back anymore, as it was quite numb right now. It looked worse than it actually hurt currently. Showering would soon change that, though.

Tobias further examined himself through the mirror reluctantly. His skin honestly looked sickly; pale and dark in some areas where he had fading bruises. Especially on his right arm, where his father had grabbed him too hard yesterday, and the lower left of his stomach, where he had been punished a week before. The bruises were almost completely gone, as the remnants of their blue and purple changing were just barely visible. 

It was always shocking to Tobias how resilient he found himself to be sometimes. Countless injuries and scars he’s gotten in the past have all healed and faded away, leaving little to nothing on his skin. Almost like a taunt and a promise, they reminded him that things truly were ephemeral .

Knock. Knock.

“Can I come in for a second, sweetie?” Carmelo’s mother’s muffled voice spoke from the other side of the door.

Tobias slightly jumped with surprise. He had forgotten to lock the door, but even worse, he didn’t have a shirt on. Things could become too complicated if she were to see the scarring on his back and his horrid torso. Tobias never liked seeing his own naked, vulnerable body, nor letting others view it. It just reminded him of his father and how much of an abhorrent mess he really was, and that he deserved every punishment he got. 

“Give me just a second, ma’am!”

Quickly grabbing the button-up Tobias had just thrown onto the ground, he frantically pulled his arms through the sleeves, trying as fast as he could to put his shirt back on, accidentally knocking something off the sink counter in his panic. He figured he had no time to rewrap his torso, so this was a fine temporary solution. The buttons of his top, as they always do, proved to be a little more challenging, but as long as he had at least one done, it’d be fine. Except he couldn’t get even one buttoned, so his next resort was to throw on his sweater.

Also, grabbing it off the floor, he threw it over himself. It got a little stuck over his shoulders, and he couldn’t get his head through. Instantly, he was battling with the fabrics, resisting each other. Stumbling around, he was starting to struggle with keeping himself afoot as his feet became slightly tangled with his bandage wrappings. He probably looked like a chicken with its head chopped off right now, the way he was tripping about. Then, he made contact with a cylinder-like object with his feet, found himself stumbling back, and all of a sudden, he was heading straight for the floor.

Hearing a clattering in the bathroom, Carmelo’s mother, Valentina, tried to ignore it, giving the poor boy time to compose himself and open the door. She was holding a towel and some clothes, which Carmelo had decided would be okay for Tobias to wear. She was just going to quickly hand them to the boy, but when she heard a certain light thud followed by the deeper sound of what she could only assume was Tobias’ body collapsing. She immediately dropped what she was holding and reached for the door knob which was thankfully unlocked.

“Are you okay?!” She yelled as she ran into the bathroom.

To her surprise, it was a mess of Tobias tangled in his clothes (his sweater stuck around his shoulders) and bandages on the floor. But it was concerning how he was clutching his head, and then she noticed the bandages were bloody. His dress shirt was open enough to reveal his back, so she also saw the bruises trailing his torso, and finally, the dark scar on his back caught her eye. She covered her mouth in horror as her eyes widened.

“Agh…” Tobias quietly moaned from the floor, curling himself up.

“Oh…” Valentina whispered as she crouched down beside Tobias. “Are you alright?” She spoke in a shaky voice.

She reached out to touch Tobias’ arm, but he flinched, hard, sitting up and scooting away from her, his back against the tub.

“Please, don’t touch me.” Tobias said weakly, as he clenched his eyes shut, still clutching his head.

“A-Are you okay…?” She said once again, shakily.

“Don’t mind me. Please. You are free to ignore this.” He said with a slight groan.

“What’s going on here?!” A sudden deeper voice rang in as a taller man stepped in the doorway. Behind him trailed Carmelo. “We heard a yell?”

“Yeah! And what was all that ruckus—“ Carmelo stopped. He noticed the situation in the bathroom.

“So sorry for the ruckus! It’s really nothing, everyone should get back to what they were doing!” Valentina said in a cheerier voice, trying to make things seem okay and in an attempt to send everyone away.

Neither of them left, though. They definitely didn’t believe what she said and were instead taking in the situation and trying to make sense of it. The wincing boy holding his head on their bathroom floor, the bandages, and Valentina crouching near the boy. Not to mention, the boy did not look okay at all after a moment of staring at him.

“Please just leave,” Tobias said again, finally speaking up, surprising the three people. “I’m sorry for the mess and trouble I’ve caused. Pay me no mind. I’ll just get dressed and be on my way soon. Thank you for the hospitality.”

At this point, Tobias had figured he’d be better off leaving. He hadn’t meant to create such a scene, and he definitely didn’t feel like being further perceived. Everyone stared at him, confused and shocked by what he said. They weren’t sure what to say or what he was thinking. 

“Oh dear… What do you mean—“ A deathly silence interrupted Carmelo’s mother’s sentence. 

All three of them watched as blood surprisingly trailed down the right side of Tobias's face, dripping over his eyelid. He froze up, assessing what he just felt; the warm liquid making its way down his jaw and dripping onto his thigh. His breath got caught in his throat as he realized. He wiped it off his right eye, surprised to find himself all of a suddenly bleeding. Had he hit his head too hard on the toilet? It was as if this day couldn’t get any worse. 

“Oh goodness.” Carmelo’s father gasped. 

“Oh god!” Valentina exclaimed. “Lauro, fetch the first aid kit! Carmelo, bring me a warm, wet towel!” 

Both of them scattered off without protest. They quickly went to fetch the items demanded, and at the alarm of the unexpected situation. 

“I’m honestly fine—“ Tobias tried to say.

“Sh-Shush!” Valentina stopped him. “Don’t say anything, dear. I’m going to patch you right up.”

Tobias stared at her, unsure of what to say or do next. He was a little annoyed and didn’t want to make this a bigger issue than it really was.

“Do you mind if I check your head wound? It would require me to touch your head, but I’ll try to make it brief.” She asked as calmly as possible.

Tobias was in no position to protest anymore. Not with the blood dripping off his face and his now aching trauma-induced headache, accompanied by a slight lightheadedness. Hitting his head twice in one day must’ve been the limit. It was now throbbing powerfully. It felt numb and painful at the same time. He swore he could feel it physically growing and shrinking with each throb.

“If you will.” Tobias replied, dropping his hands in defeat.

Valentina gently placed her hands on Tobias’s head to turn his face towards her. Then, parting his hair in the place she thought the injury was, she examined the rip of skin right before his hairline. It wasn‘t huge, but it sure bled a lot, causing more of a fuss than it really was. Though she was more worried about a possible concussion than anything, seeing as the poor boy had hit his head twice in one day.

“Do you hear any ringing in your ears? Any dizziness or a headache?” She asked seriously.

“Just a headache and dizziness, ma’am.”

“Okay. You may have a slight concussion, but I’m no doctor here.” She wrinkled her brows. “I think you may need to go to a hospital, dear.”

You’re nothing. You disgusting animal. Look at you getting blood on their bathroom floor and making a mess for everyone around you. Like you always do.

“I’m sorry…” Tobias unconsciously said aloud.

“Oh dear.” Her eyes softened once again. “You poor thing… None of this is your fault.” 

And suddenly, Tobias was being held in a gentle embrace. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her chest. It was so, so gentle but created such a large force that he felt his eyes water and sank his face into her shoulder. He could hear her sniffle and knew she might’ve been crying.

”Please let go, ma’am—“ He tried pulling away, realizing he may have made her cry and also remembering his bloodied head, not wanting to get more blood on her than he just did. 

But she held him close and only hugged him tighter, caressing the back of his head. Softly whispering, “You’re going to be alright.” She leaned her head against his. They both just sat there in that embrace, on the floor of the bathroom. The cold tiles were a contrast to their warm bodies, but even then, it didn’t feel so cold. A few moments went by in just silence. Tobias never fully reciprocated the hug. It reminded him of the occasional hugs from his mother when she truly felt bad for him. Those hugs were full of pity and felt disgusting.

When there was an overlapping of footsteps incoming, Carmelo’s mother finally pulled away just before Tobias couldn’t handle the hug anymore.

“I’m so sorry, dear. Let’s get you cleaned up.” She said, grabbing some toilet paper and attempting to wipe the blood off his face. 

“Back.” Said Carmelo.

“How’s the boy?” Asked his father.

“He’s going to be just fine.” Valentina smiled, her eyes red and nose puffy.

After Tobias had his head cleaned up and a band-aid put on, he was given the okay to resume his shower on the exception; he tried his hardest not to wet his new wound. The larger wound on his back was not addressed by Carmelo’s mother, nor any of his bruises, and everyone finally left him alone after helping clean up the bathroom a bit as well.

Carmelo’s mother had cleaned up the bloodied bandages and taken out the trash bag in their small bathroom trash can that became full of Tobias’ bloody toilet paper. Then she left him some clothes and a towel, telling him, “Leave your dirty clothes and towel here. I’ll help rebandage your back when you’re done, okay?” She winked. She didn’t wait for a response, meaning she was just notifying him and then left.

He had a longer shower than he intended, mostly spent letting the soft caressing of the water run down his body and trying to wash himself through the pain of his once again aching back. A bit was spent staring off as countless thoughts passed through his head as well.

Tobias was now cautiously approaching Carmelo’s room. He saw that the room light was off, but a soft light was emitting out and the door was slightly open. He opened it slowly to let himself in and noticed Carmelo sitting at his desk with his desk lamp on. He was holding something, though Tobias couldn’t quite make out what it was. A small glint caught his eye, and he crept closer. It was a small cross necklace. 

“That’s that boy, Rudolph’s necklace, isn’t it?”

Carmelo jumped, dropping the silver chain on his desk with a small ping and turning his head back. His face was a light shade of red as he glared at Tobias angrily.

“Shut your mouth.” He gritted. 

“Why do you have his necklace?” Tobias tilted his head.

”…Carmelo!” Valentina yelled from somewhere else in the house.

“None of your business .” Carmelo said, standing up from his chair and grabbing the necklace with him. 

He prettily bumped his shoulder against Tobias’s as he passed. Shoving the necklace into his shorts pocket, he gave the boy one more irritated glare before disappearing once again. 

Tobias sighed, unsure of what to make of this situation. Too many things had happened today. With little hesitation, he sluggishly made his way to Carmelo’s bed, falling face-first onto it as he sighed. He was so utterly mentally and physically tired now. What was he seriously doing here? He should’ve left when he had the chance, and he’s had many chances. Tobias couldn’t figure out why he did this to himself. Maybe… he really should just run away. He was in too deep now.

The shirt Tobias was given was just a little oversized, so it sat heavier on one shoulder and exposed his collarbone a bit more than usual. He was too tired to adjust the t-shirt, not that it really bothered him. The shorts he was given were a little bigger on him as well, but they had drawstrings, so Tobias had no issue with wearing them.

He could feel his eyelids becoming heavy, and it was getting hard to keep them up. Shutting his eyes for a second just to rest them, Tobias soon fell into slumber. But quickly, he heard the thumping of footsteps coming towards him. He flinched awake and sat upright, rubbing his eyes.

It was Carmelo who came through the door. He had the first aid kit that was brought earlier and wore an angrier scowl. Setting the kit beside Tobias, he opened it and started taking out supplies. This reminded him of a certain moment yesterday.

“What are you doing?” Tobias inquired.

“Patching you up.”

“I was under the impression your respectable mother said she would do so?”

“Guess not.” Carmelo scoffed. “Just hurry up and take your shirt off— And don’t make that gay.”

The tiniest tinge of red reached Carmelo’s cheeks as he realized the subtle suggestion of his last sentence. It quickly went away.

“Gay?” Tobias thought. “Well, my father knows of a plethora of ways to resist and prevent homosexuality if you’re interested—“

“Just shut up.” Carmelo groaned.

Tobias’ lips formed a thin line. He thought it best to end the conversation there and just listen to the angry boy. No point in continuing a useless talk. Instead, he took his shirt off, turned, and stood with his back facing Carmelo. He wanted to get this over with as fast as he could. He didn’t want to showcase his back to anyone further. 

When Carmelo looked up, he was shocked to find what he saw. He felt his mouth actually part, and he had to hold back a gasp. His mother had warned him of the wound, but definitely had no idea of its actual severity. They really should have taken him to the hospital. Unknown to Tobias, Carmelo had a genuine look of concern on his face as he stared at the back of his. 

The large scar was in the shape of a cross, and it was dark, like continuous trauma to the skin. Carmelo hadn’t seen a wound this serious except in like, movies or something. The skin was sort of crisp, not yet completely healed, and was bleeding just the tiniest bit in some areas on the outer edge, probably due to being irritated. As well as being inflamed. Not only did the wound concern Carmelo, but the multiple bruises seen just from the back made him almost afraid. He got a look at the front during the situation in the bathroom earlier, but seeing the back added a whole new layer of concern and curiosity regarding what the heck Tobias has been through. 

“Holy crap, dude.” Carmelo managed out. “What the heck happened to you?”

He understood the implications of Tobias’ state, but he couldn’t directly address them.

“That is none of your concern, Carmelo. Just do what you came here to help do.”

“Okay, geez.” Carmelo said, beginning to wrap. “Hit a nerve there.” 

Carmelo couldn’t help but notice how pale Tobias was as he helped bandage the boy up. His bruises and the giant scar on his back were a stark contrast to his skin. Tobias was also on the slimmer side, nothing too unhealthy that his bones were abnormally sticking out, but he definitely would look a lot healthier with a bit more weight. But who was he to be examining and judging the boy? Catching himself occasionally staring throughout the time he was supposed to just be helping Tobias, his face would turn a gentle red before quickly dissipating. He was grateful they weren’t facing eachother. 

After a bit of silence, the only noises, the sounds of their breathing, the material of the cloth bandage, and Carmelo’s occasional frustrated grunts, Tobias’s wound was finally covered. Carmelo quickly packed up and left.

“—You should’ve seen the scar on his back!” Carmelo heard his mother say from the kitchen. “That was no normal scar and I don’t even understand how any wound can look like that!”

He went back down to sleep on the couch and saw his parents talking.

“He’s not a normal boy! Something is going on in his personal homelife and we’d be damned if we let him go back to that place!” His mother said.

“I get your concerns, honey.” His father started. “But we don’t know this boy or his homelife! He could just be a careless boy. Maybe he got the scar in some huge accident.”

“You didn’t see the way he reacted to me trying to touch his shoulder. And how he was trying to brush off the entire situation in there! He is not okay.”

“I want to help this boy, too, I do. But we can’t just take him away from his family? That sounds crazy! Especially when we don’t even know the full story behind him or his family. You might be overreacting.”

“I know, I know I’m being ridiculous right now. I just feel it in my bones that something is seriously wrong here.” Carmelo’s mother massaged her temple, upset. “I’m just so scared for some reason that if we send him back, that’ll be the last time we ever see him again. Do you get it? I’ve never felt like this before.”

Her eyes were suddenly very teary as she sniffled, and she covered her face with her hands. His father came up and hugged her from the front as she sank into his chest. He rubbed his palm up and down her back while he kissed her head.

“I’m sorry we can’t do more, honey.” His father whispered. “Let’s just drop them off at school tomorrow and see if his father or uncle picks him up later, okay?”

Carmelo stepped back to leave them alone. He was concerned himself, but as his father said, they barely knew Tobias, so he couldn’t make any actual judgments on his own. Though anyone would be blind not to know that all those scars on Tobias were definitely not normal, there wasn’t much they could do for him. He sighed, retreating to the living room. It had been a long night.