Chapter Text
“I wouldn’t say this is as fun as drinking, but I forgot how good this place was,” Drake spoke, staring down at the burger he was grasping as if it was going to slip away.
Sam had been persistent about the next ‘outing’ for a while and you’d managed to rope the other two into joining. It was partially due to the fear of being alone with Sam and giving off the wrong impression, and the last thing you wanted Logan to see was that you were unavailable .
“I think I'm lactose intolerant,” Sam said, swirling around a straw in the rather large milkshake he’d gotten.
“Does your tummy hurt?” Rogue teased, making both you and Drake laugh.
“It does, actually,” Sam huffed lightly, leaning down slightly and sipping his drink through the straw regardless.
You’d found yourself tucked into a corner in a small booth with the other three at some burger place a street away from the bar you’d made a great escape from a few weeks back. It was rather popular, and a cold sweep of air washed over you every now and then as people bustled through the door.
“We could be like, the Fantastic Four or something,” Drake spoke through a mouthful.
“Oh yeah!” Sam chimed.
“Just because there’s four of us?” You questioned, slightly amused.
“Fantastic four as in that superhero team with the big rock guy?” Rogue questioned.
“Yeah!” Sam chimed again.
“Who would you be?” You questioned Drake.
“Maybe.. Invisible Woman.” Drake spoke thoughtfully.
“You’d be Human Torch,” Drake added and pointed to Rogue.
“Aren’t they siblings?” You laughed.
“I say Rogue can be The Thing,” Sam said.
“What did you just call me?” Rogue spoke.
“No- He’s the rock guy!” Sam exclaimed.
“I don’t want to be the rock guy! I want the torch guy!” Rogue spoke.
“Well I don’t want to be the rock guy,” Sam said.
“There’s nothing wrong with being the rock guy in my opinion,” Drake said.
“I’m definitely not the rock guy,” You added.
“Why are you being the only woman?” Rogue spoke as she looked at Drake now.
“Excuse me darlin’” You heard a slightly shrill voice from beside you.
It made the lively conversation drop rather suddenly, and you glanced beside yourself and up at the woman.
You were shocked to see a familiar face.
“Oh wow!” You spoke.
She broke out in a wide smile and made a rather dramatic motion for you to hug her.
She had perfectly modern-southern, bright bleached hair that looked fresh out of the rollers, and strikingly colourful clothes that made her stick out like a sore thumb in the drab and dreary diner.
You’d known her since you were young as she lived in your small hometown in a house nearby, and you remembered spending a lot of time playing in her house with her kids, and carpooling to and from school.
You stood up at her motion and went in for a rather light hug, her curls pressing against your face as she held you in a tight embrace.
“Wow,” You repeated, pulling back slightly to look at her now after a few moments.
Her strikingly familiar and strong perfume sobered you to the reality that the life you left behind didn’t die when your brother did, and that the place, people and memories still existed even if it didn’t often feel like it.
“What are you doing here?” You questioned, eyes darting around the small diner to see if you could spot any other familiar faces.
“I’m visitin’ family!” She chimed excitedly “It’s so good to see you sweetie,”
She was suddenly looking at you as if you were a wounded animal, eyebrows knitted together now.
“I’m sorry about what happened to your brother.” She spoke, a hand flying up to her chest and laying it across her heart as she gave you a rather exaggerated solemn look. You felt it was slightly performative on her part.
Your stomach twisted at the sudden tone of the conversation. You tried not to think about your brother.
“It’s alright,” You started.
“It was just so awful. He was such an amazing young man,” She spoke, her hand still on her heart “I know how close you were.”
You shifted slightly, aware that this wasn’t the best place to be talking, mindful that your friends were close enough to be watching the interaction.
“I know it’s-” You started before she cut you off again with her thick southern drawl.
“I believed it when you said it wasn’t you,” She said, “it was one of them mutants.”
“Oh..no- I think-” Was all you could get out before she pressed on.
“Your brother took such good care of you after your parents… passed .” She paused a beat at the last word.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if a mutant was targeting him. They’re always up to no good.” She spoke “the only good mutant is one that’s six feet under, i’ll tell ya that,”
There was a moment of silence after she finally stopped talking.
You were slightly astounded and unsure about what to say, looking at her wide-eyed.
You felt the weight of her words, and the hate she genuinely carried was jarring to be on the other side of it.
“I mean.. I’m sorry I..don’t agree,” You spoke quietly.
She frowned, slightly taken aback.
“Pardon, honey?” She spoke pointedly.
“That’s an awful thing to say about mutants,” You said “About anyone, actually.”
“Well-” The woman started.
“Why don’t you just tell her?” Rogue spoke up, cutting in rather harshly.
You felt your heartbeat skip a beat as you both glanced over at Rogue who got up from out of her seat.
She looked rather furious, a dark glare directed towards the both of you.
“I-”
“She is a mutant,” Rogue hissed.
You inhaled sharply, glancing back at the woman who looked at you now with wide eyes.
There was a long silence, and you felt the tension thick in the air.
“Rogue-” Drake reprimanded quietly but she didn’t spare him a glance.
You couldn’t think fast enough, upset that Rogue would take it upon herself to tell someone something like that.
“Now I know that’s just not true,” The woman spoke, glancing between Rogue and yourself.
“Not you,” She added, tone in utter disbelief as she looked at you. Her southern sweetness dissipated rather quickly.
“No - Well, I guess..” You stuttered.
“Well it’s true. She’s a mutant. We’re all mutants,” Rogue spoke, gesturing to the table.
You swear you could see as she got a glazed look over her eyes, staring at you with disdain. As if you were a completely different person.
She stared at you in silence for a few moments, and you felt as if she was waiting for you to deny it.
When you didn’t say anything she shook her head as she looked you over.
“Well..” She spoke.
“Nice to know that your brother died in vain,” She spat at you before making a hasty exit.
You stood still for a few moments, reeling from the hard and fast interaction.
“Time to go then,” Sam spoke quickly.
Both Drake and Sam scooted out of their seats.
You frowned and looked over at Rogue who was still obviously angry and looking out the window where the woman was presumably still in sight.
“Let’s go,” Sam ushered gently, and started gesturing you out the door.
You allowed it and were the first to walk out the door, thinking through what had just happened.
“Why would you throw me under the bus like that?” You spoke abruptly.
You turned back towards the door as Rogue stepped out behind Drake.
Though you weren’t often confrontational, you were shocked and angry that a friend would do something like that to you.
“Maybe we can talk about this when we get back,” Sam said.
“You were just standing there and letting her spew hate,” Rogue spoke.
The four of you were spilled out onto the sidewalk now, Sam glancing around nervously and Drake ushering Rogue to the side as people approached the door.
“I wasn’t! What was I supposed to do? I told her I didn’t agree,” You said.
“Well not fast enough for me. I don’t want to hear about how mutants are no good unless we’re dead.” Rogue spoke angrily.
“It didn’t give you the right to tell her like that,” You said.
“Well you weren’t going to tell her,” Rogue said, tone accusing.
“Come on Rogue, that's enough,” Drake interjected.
“Why do I have to? You heard the way she was talking, why would I want to tell her anything!” You urged.
“Well if you can’t tell people you’re a mutant by now then you’re just being a pussy,” Rogue spoke.
“What is your fucking problem?” You snapped.
“You have no right to say shit like that. You don’t know what I went through with my family,” You spoke angrily now.
“Oh so you think you’re the only person with problems here?” Rogue fired back.
“I never said that. You inserted yourself into my problems when you took it upon yourself to tell someone I’m a mutant. And for what? To help me?” You snapped angrily, seething as you went on.
“My brother is fucking dead because of me. I don’t need to give people another reason to hate me,” you snapped.
“Seriously guys, enough. This is way out of line,” Sam spoke, tone commanding now as he stepped forward and between the two of you.
“Whatever,” Rogue spoke, shoulders slouching slightly as she pushed past Sam and started heading back towards the school.
You were left with a strong swirl of emotions as you watched her walk away, letting out a noise of frustration as your hands balled up into fists at your side.
“I’m sorry,” Drake said, eyebrows knitted together.
“You alright?” Sam spoke softly.
“What the fuck even was that?” You spoke out in frustration.
“It’s alright, just forget about her,” Sam spoke “Let’s just head back,”
You didn’t say anything else, not in the mood anymore as you started heading back towards the school without another word. Drake skipped ahead and went to catch up with Rogue.
You went straight to your room, though you tried not to let both interactions upset you, it was hard.
You hadn’t thought of your brother often, and when it was brought up you started to understand why. It was difficult to hear and talk about. You didn’t want to be reminded.
x
You didn’t feel great the next day either, the conflict sitting heavy on your chest as you woke up.
While it didn’t feel good having an argument with a friend, it felt worse combined with the subject, and the feelings it was bringing up.
You avoided any common space you thought you’d run into your friends as you weren’t sure you wanted to hear what any of them had to say, and it wasn’t as though Rogue had been knocking on your door asking for forgiveness either.
You felt simultaneously valid in being upset with her, while feeling bad for the way someone you knew spoke about mutants in front of your friends. It was almost shameful to have once had similar thoughts. It also felt shameful to think about what your brother would think of you as you were now.
Defeated, you found yourself wandering out to the wide field in search of Logan that afternoon.
You weren’t exactly sure why, but you sought comfort from someone outside your small circle - or just someone you hoped cared about you. You weren’t sure who else you could turn to if you were being honest.
You went and sat yourself down on the cold metal bench you had previously shared with Logan. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it sat on the outskirts of the field with a good view and you figured it was mostly used to put equipment on as a few items were scattered close.
There seemed to be the tail end of a class, students trailing along the field and equipment still scattered around that Logan was picking up here and there. It reminded you of watching your P.E teacher packing up the outdoor equipment after class.
You sighed lightly to yourself at the sight and the reminder of your old life. You couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened.
Logan didn’t notice you until he had come closer after stopping to chat to a few students.
He seemed to make a not-so-casual beeline towards you, looking at you curiously as he came close before chucking a few items towards the other pile of equipment.
“Alright?” He spoke, voice gruff.
You shrugged slightly.
“Just came for a look, then?” Logan spoke.
You smiled and let out a slight laugh at that.
You weren’t really sure where to start, and now that Logan was in front of you, you felt a bit embarrassed that you’d come to him in the first place.
“Bad day,” You said with another shrug.
Logan hummed slightly in response, glancing around and over the grassy space.
The last of the students were still ambling off the field, backs towards the two of you as Logan sat down beside you now. The small and unsupported slab of metal you were both sitting on made his frame seem unusually large.
“How bad we talkin’?” Logan spoke after a few moments.
You thought for a few moments.
“Medium bad,” You said.
Logan laughed softly and you couldn’t help but smile at the sound of it.
“Medium bad?” Logan repeated “So not quite cracking your head open?”
You shook your head slightly.
“No physical injuries, only emotional,” You spoke.
You both shared a slight smile at the tone of the conversation, and you felt as though Logan understood where you were coming from despite it.
“Anythin’ you wanna tell me?” Logan questioned.
He seemed a little hesitant to ask, though you had some understanding from your last conversation he wasn’t an expert at these things.
You shrugged lightly again, glancing down at the ground as you swung your leg out slightly and kicked at the grass.
“Had a rather hateful experience with someone I used to know before I.. went mutant,” You said.
Logan exhaled sharply, like that answer didn’t surprise him in the slightest. “Yeah. Happens.”
“Fear makes people cruel.” Logan added.
You sighed, moving your hands into your lap as you continued to look down.
“I can't say it gets any better bub,” Logan spoke, his voice low but comforting “But it ain’t ever got anything to do with you. It’s their problem.”
You were unsure if his words made you feel better or not.
“You should have seen the way she looked at me - like I was barely human” You spoke, threading your fingers together nervously at the thought.
“She saw me differently - even though she’s known me my whole life.” You added.
“Guess she never really saw you to begin with,” Logan spoke softly.
You hummed a little at that, trying to take in what he was saying as you thought through everything you’d been upset about in the last two days. You could feel the emotion bubbling to the surface again.
“Rogue wasn’t very happy with me either,” You spoke, eyes still cast towards your lap.
“And she really hurt my feelings,” You added.
You decided to speak plainly about how it’d made you feel rather than the drama of what was actually said. Though as the words came out they felt very juvenile.
“Whatever it’s about, I'm sure she’ll come around.” Logan spoke, obviously not one to pry.
You felt the metal bench dip slightly as Logan moved closer to you.
His arm moved around your back, and his hand wrapped around to your shoulder as he held you gently to his side.
You took it upon yourself to lean in and rest up against him. He was very warm and inviting, his strong and steady presence was grounding.
You allowed the warm embrace to dissipate some of your sadness, as if he was some type of sponge. It was the type of comfort you had been hoping to get.
“Nothin’ is stronger for people like us than the friends you choose to be your family,” Logan added, gently squeezing your shoulder with a silent reassurance.
You let out a small breath at that. He was right in saying that your little group of friends were all you really had, and in a way the experiences you shared in being a mutant was extremely bonding.
“I appreciate it,” You said softly.
There was a rather high pitched ringing that came from Logan's pocket.
“Sorry,” He mumbled.
He hesitantly moved his arm away from you now and dug his hand into his pocket before pulling out his phone.
You weren’t happy with the sudden loss of comfort, having been enjoying the closeness of it all. But of course, it was only another fleeting moment for the two of you.
You watched as he looked at the screen but didn’t answer the call.
You couldn’t help but to peek at his phone, though frowning as you saw Jean's name.
“Ah- sorry, bub. I gotta go,” Logan spoke, pushing himself up from the bench.
“Come back in with me,” Logan spoke, nodding his head towards the field.
You hesitated, trying not to feel upset about what you’d seen. You suddenly felt a slight resentment towards him that he would drop what he was doing with you to go see Jean.
“I’m alright. I might just.. take a moment..” You mumbled as you glanced up at him.
Logan watched you for a few moments before nodding slightly.
“Alright..” Logan spoke.
You could tell there was some hesitation about leaving you there, and uncertainty about what to say, but it also seemed as though he was being pulled by some invisible string back in towards the school.
Your eyes lingered on each other for a few beats before he gave you another short nod and started heading away.
You looked down once more when he was halfway across the field.
You had liked the comfort so much so that it hurt more that he found it so easy to walk away in these moments. It made it impossible to tell how Logan really felt.
Sitting alone, the vast and silent field felt isolating.