Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick’s alarm startled him awake, even though it really shouldn’t have given that it went off at the same time every weekday and his internal clock should have been set to it by now. He’d been teaching high school for almost twenty years now, so he really should be used to waking early, but every single morning he had to drag himself out of bed. He loved his job but that didn't mean he loved getting up to go every day. He could hear the soft sounds of Matt getting his morning breakfast, frying an egg and making toast for himself and then turning on the coffee pot, knowing his dad would have woken up to his 6:00 alarm. Nick smiled softly to himself, his son really was so kind, always thinking of others. 

He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone where he perused quickly through his social media, checked the weather (early spring temps in the 50s today but it’s still quite cold in the morning, barely over freezing), and then read his email. It was the last day of school before the spring break week off so he didn’t really expect many but… you never know. His inbox was mostly full of spam - (I really should spend some time and unsubscribe to all this junk) - but there was an email from the principal reminding everyone of the day's schedule and wishing the staff and students a relaxing spring break the following week.

Nick dragged himself out of bed, startling Daisy, the family golden retriever, from her sleeping spot on the other side of the bed. A second pillow still lays at the top of the bed, even though no one has slept next to him for over a year; Nick just couldn’t seem to make the bed without it and sometimes he wrapped his arms around it, just to have something to cuddle with. His thoughts drifted slowly, although not necessarily sadly, over the past couple of years as he reminisced on the end of his nearly twenty-year marriage to Imogen. They'd remained friends and, most importantly, civil co-parents to their four kids. They shared a one-bedroom apartment and alternate weeks of living in the house they own so the kids wouldn’t have to shuffle between different houses, learn new school bus routes and have double of everything. It wasn’t the most conventional way to be divorced but Nick felt like it was a testament to their continued friendship and commitment to putting their kids first and keeping their family relatively intact.

He gave Daisy a quick pet and went upstairs to feed her and greet Matt who always gets up earlier than everyone in the house. Matt had never needed as much sleep as the rest of them, including his time as a baby which Nick (not so fondly) remembered as being very sleep deprived as he and Imogen dealt with a baby who just loved them so much he always wanted to be with them and, more accurately, awake with them. 

“Last day of school before break… you excited?” Nick asked. “You still have your zero hour weightlifting class today?”

“Yeah we do, although I’m a bit sore today now that baseball season has started. It’s like I’m getting double the workouts in and my body is protesting. I'm excited for spring break next week and our trip to Seattle,” Matt replied.

“Me too, bud. Everything squared away with Ryan’s parents? Do I need to call them and confirm anything or are they ok with it all?” Nick had arranged to take his two middle sons and their best friends to Seattle for a baseball game and to spend a couple of days there.

“Yeah Papa, they’re all good, you know Tori and Michael are super laid back.”

Nick chuckled and nodded his agreement. “Right, well I’m going to take a quick shower. Drive safe to school. I’ll see you for a bit this afternoon, then it’s your mom’s week here so I’ll be at the apartment. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning though, for our trip.”

Matt nodded and went back to finishing his breakfast. Even though they go to the same school, they have to take separate cars due to the difference in arrival times and after school activities. (Ugh,) Nick thought, (it would be so nice if we had better public transit here and didn’t have to rely on owning so many cars. Fucking capitalism…)

He made quick work of his shower and got ready for the day. His sandy brown hair seemed to be getting lighter as more grey started to appear on his 42 year old head. He opted for comfort today, wearing a pair of jeans and a green polo shirt that, he thinks, highlights the color of his brown eyes and makes his freckles stand out even more than they already do, the exposure to more sun due to baseball practices making them more visible. He rehearsed through his classes for the day, the students' minds would likely be elsewhere as the excitement of spring break grew. His two first and second year French classes would be the most challenging since most of the students were freshmen and sophomores, their immaturity making them easily distracted. The third year and fourth year classes should be better, especially the fourth years who were all seniors and studying for their AP test next month. Nick's final period of the day was his prep period and given that it was spring, it would likely be used to get ready for freshman baseball practice prep. 

Nick had been coaching the freshman team since his fifth year at the high school and he loved it so much. Baseball was always his passion in school and he played in college but knee issues made it impossible to pursue any further so this had given him an outlet he was so grateful for. 

Daisy barked outside the bathroom door, snapping Nick out of his thoughts and reminded him he still needed to take her for a quick walk before he could leave for school. 

“Alright Daisy girl, I’m coming,” he called as he hurried to the door to put his shoes on, attaching Daisy’s leash and grabbing bags and a hoodie before quickly jogging down the steps of the front deck. Even though they traversed the same basic routes through their neighborhood every day, Daisy is so excited to go on her walk as if it was the greatest thing ever. Nick appreciated the time with his thoughts, sometimes he listened to music or a podcast, sometimes even a book, but today he prepared mentally for the upcoming trip with Matt and Niles and their friends and the places he wanted to show them in Seattle. He was glad that his youngest, Heidi, would have some alone time with Imogen while he was gone; she’d really appreciate the one-on-one girl time since she was usually surrounded by boys. Nick sighed and wished Sean could also join them in Seattle but knew he was enjoying his adult life going to university in NYC and finally free to be his authentic self since transitioning.

Daisy’s business taken care of and her energy burned off a bit, they made their way home so Nick could wake the younger of his children and then head off to work himself. Daisy excitedly ran up the carpeted stairs to their rooms, bursting through to wake them with barks and kisses. Niles hated getting up for school so Nick had to actively make sure he was up before he left, otherwise he would miss the school bus. Heidi was an early riser because she couldn’t wait to read her books so she was already awake but just needed the reminder that it was time to actually start getting ready for the day. Nick asked Niles to confirm all the trip information with Liam’s parents and set a reminder on his phone to call them and check in, just in case. (Teenagers can’t always be trusted…) Nick thought, (especially this teenager.)  

Satisfied they would make it to their respective school buses on time, Nick filled his travel coffee mug with his bisexual pride sticker on it, grabbed a hard boiled egg and bagel to eat in the car, and headed off to work. Truham High School, where he had taught for almost twenty years and attended himself as a student, was one of the larger high schools in the city. It was consistently recognized for achievements in academic, music and athletic excellence and Nick was grateful to teach a language he loved and coach a sport he was passionate about. He got along well with his coworkers and genuinely felt accepted by most of them, even after his divorce and public acknowledgement of his bisexuality. A majority of the staff had been supportive and at least respectful of Sean’s coming out as trans when he was a student there the previous four years. 

The school day went off without a hitch, despite the kids being distracted and excited about the upcoming school-free week. Baseball practice also went well; Nick could definitely see improvement in many of the boys and was pleased to see some of the more skilled players taking the others under their wing with encouragement and help, rather than bullying or negativity. Having the team work together and really be there for each other was something he found so important although, some years, very challenging. Being the only team that was based on class year rather than skill, Nick really sought to impress on the young men the importance of being good teammates rather than just good players. He had a good group this year, including his own son Niles (who he made extra effort to show absolutely no favoritism towards) and his son’s best friend Liam. He has had his suspicions about their friendship, but that was for Niles to share with him, if and when he was ready. (Maybe this weekend will shed some light there…) Nick thought.

Once practice was over, Nick headed home, feeling exhausted and every one of his 42 years caught up to him. These were the nights when he wished he had someone again, someone to come home to and share his thoughts with, someone to support him and for him to support in turn. It had been a year since the divorce and lately, Nick had been turning the idea around in his head that maybe he might want to start dating again. He was not even really sure how that would work anymore, with his job and the kids and how do you even meet someone these days? He knew he could join an app but what he really wanted was a natural connection, not someone determined by an algorithm that says he was compatible with. Nick sighed, knowing he didn’t have the mental brain power to think about this right now. He needed to get home, pack for the trip to Seattle, change the bedding for Imogen (this is part of their agreement, if they are going to sleep in the same beds, they will always have fresh sheets to sleep on) and be ready to leave the house by six, when she is due to come over.

His reminder to call Liam’s mom alerted so he connected to the car’s Bluetooth to call her while he drove the last bit home. He quickly went over the details with her, got her approval for the boys to share a hotel room with him and the older boys, verified no allergies or other special needs, and confirmed he will pick up Liam tomorrow morning at 8 am. He arrived home and hurried through the bedding change and grabbed the trip-specific clothes he wanted to take with him, collected various snacks and drinks for the drive and spent a bit of time with Heidi and Daisy since he wouldn’t see them much in the upcoming week. When Imogen arrived, they chatted a bit and confirmed they were in agreement about plans for spring break.

After a restful night's sleep, Nick left bright and early to collect the boys from their respective houses and they all chatted excitedly about the short weekend trip. After a couple of stops for restroom and snack breaks, the five-hour drive to Seattle was over and everyone was ready for a day of exploring the city followed by a night game at the Mariners stadium. Nick navigated his way through the busy inner-city streets to their hotel, and checked them into two adjoining rooms so he could keep an eye on the boys’ shenanigans but also allow them to have some time to themselves. 

They quickly changed into walking shoes and headed off for some food, settling on fish and chips from the Ivars, the infamous fish and chips restaurant on the pier. After they filled themselves with delicious local seafood, they meandered along the pier and into the little shops along the way. The weather was, mercifully, not raining and the sun peeked through at regular intervals, illuminating the water and brightening everyone’s spirits. In a last minute decision to visit the aquarium, they all exclaimed over their favorite fish and discussed different relationships between species. Niles was quick to point out that “there must be gay fish”, Liam piped in about the gay penguins in captivity taking care of parenting together, and Ryan softly inserted the unique asexuality of jellyfish. Nick’s heart was warm with hope for the next generation being raised to have language to talk about these topics and also a tinge of sadness that he didn’t have the same growing up.

“Alright boys, onto the Space Needle, I think. We’ll need time to go up and then maybe wander through Pike Place Market before making our way back this way to go to the game this evening.”

Matt pulled out his phone and loaded the public transit info to get them there and directed everyone where they needed to go. The elevator to the top had a long line, locals and tourists taking advantage of the rare semi-sunny day to visit the Seattle landmark. 

“WOW,” the boys exclaimed in unison when they reached the top. “You can see so far in every direction!” Liam pointed out Mt. Rainier, while Niles was excited to see all the buildings downtown from this view. The Puget Sound and all the potential wildlife in the ocean were Matt and Ryan’s favorite. 

“Lets take a selfie!” Nick encouraged, and grouped the boys around him. It was awkward to navigate four tall teenage boys and Nick’s broad frame all into one picture but Nick's long arms successfully had them all in, grinning with joy as only teens can do. 

After the Space Needle, they headed back down towards the water again and wandered through Pike Place Market where the shops were as unique and full of character as the people who frequent them. They looked on with awe at the fishmongers who threw their wares around to the cheers of the crowds, they sighed contentedly at the melt in your mouth homemade donuts, they admired the flower stations with all the new tulips on display. 

“There’s just so much to see here!” Liam exclaimed. “We could be here all day and still not see it all I think.” Nick agreed and continued to lead them through to the other end where they came out and suddenly, their tiredness hit them all.
“Right, let's get to the game then,” Nick proposed, looking at his phone to see it was now two hours to start time. “We can go in early, watch the pregame warmups and have some dinner before the game starts.” The boys all agreed and they made their way to the city bus again, electing to save their feet the long walk to the stadium. 

Once they’d arrived, the boys looked up at the stadium entrance in awe, none of them having experienced a major league game before. They'd watched on TV, but never been here in person, so it seemed even more monumental to them. They quickly made their way to their seats, a couple of rows up on the raised section behind right field. They had an amazing view and the boys chattered excitedly nonstop amongst themselves. Nick was having such a good time, absorbing their joy as his own, that he barely noticed the mild squeeze on his heart, wishing he had someone of his own to share that kind of joy with again. He put those feelings aside and was determined to just be in the moment and have fun with his boys and their friends. They took a bunch more pictures and selfies and while they exclaimed over everything they saw, Nick sent some to Imogen, who heart-reacted back, and to Sean with “we wish you were here” captioned on the pics. God, Nick loved his family. Even if it had gone in a direction he never expected his life to go, he couldn’t imagine them any other way. 

The boys were, unsurprisingly, hungry again so they scouted out what they wanted to eat and took turns standing in the food lines, filling up on soda, fries and burgers. Nick nursed a beer as the game began and the boys’ excitement only grew. The game was close and not as boring or slow as some in-person baseball games were. The announcers and the mascot kept the fans engaged and cheering along. Two home runs were hit into their section and even though not directly to them, it still enhanced the boys' excitement. 

After the fifth inning, Nick decided to get them all some popcorn to tide them over for the rest of the evening. They were all happily munching and chattering about the game when Nick took a bite of popcorn that went crunch right on his tooth. 

“Oh fuck!” Nick exclaimed, looking at the boys in embarrassment for having cursed so loudly, but then terror at what might have happened to his tooth. It didn’t hurt at all but Nick was sure he must have cracked one of the back teeth. He quickly spat the remaining popcorn into a napkin and then gingerly ran his tongue over his back teeth. Sure enough, a big chunk of tooth had broken off, leaving a rough spot that Nick knew immediately was going to drive his tongue crazy and make it sore. His thoughts started racing about what to do as he hadn’t found a new dentist since his previous one retired after Covid. (God that’s been almost four years now, how embarrassing.)

He must have been thinking out loud (he had a tendency to do that sometimes) because Ryan interrupted his vocal worries. 

“You should go see my Uncle Charlie; he’s a dentist and his practice is pretty close to your house.”

Relief flooded through Nick at not having to search for one who he couldn’t be sure he would like or trust. He knew if this guy was related to Ryan, he would be kind, treat him well as a patient, and most importantly, wouldn’t be transphobic or homophobic which was Nick’s standard for anyone providing healthcare for his family.

Little did Nick know, meeting Charlie was going to change his life in ways he had never dared to hope for.

Chapter Text

Charlie

The sun was shining on an early Monday morning in the first week of April when Charlie started his coffee pot and waited impatiently for the heavenly fragrance to turn into the hot liquid that would awaken him and prepare him for a long day at the office. Monday mornings were hard at any job, and Charlie really shouldn’t complain since he only worked four days a week, but no one liked the dentist on a regular day so adding Monday into the mix just made most of the first patients of the day less than enthused to see him. He was used to it though. He loved his job, loved setting people at ease when they felt vulnerable and uncomfortable, loved seeing their smiles when he was able to restore their teeth to their function and beauty. It was a job that utilized his creative side, as well as his analytical and intellectual sides. 

His coffee brewed and his usual breakfast of oatmeal and banana prepared, he relaxed at his small kitchen table with the current novel he was reading. An Isaac recommendation, The Song of Achilles was a beautifully written retelling of the Iliad and despite the knowledge that it would get sadder as he reads, he also understood how important it was to read queer stories and to support the authors who invested so much into them. He only allowed himself a chapter of reading though before he pushed away from the table, washed his single bowl and coffee mug, and set out to start his day.

The office was close enough for Charlie to walk to and now that the weather had started improving after the dreary damp winter, he liked to make use of the time to think and get some exercise so he laced up his walking shoes and made his way out of the apartment complex where he lived. He left enough time to have a second cup of coffee with Isaac and Tori before the busyness of the day began. The air was still brisk but the sun was comforting and Charlie raised his face to bask in its glow. His dark curls blew gently in the breeze as he walked and his grey blue eyes were sharply on the lookout for every tiny evidence of spring: a shoot of tulip in one flower garden, the buds of leaves breaking out on the shrubs, the flowering cherry trees ( his favorite!) beginning to open their delicate pink blossoms. He grinned to himself and felt the hope of spring permeate his whole being.

Twenty minutes later, Charlie arrived at the office building where his small dental practice was housed. Spring Family Smiles. It was a modest practice with two hygienists, Rachel and Jennifer, his sister Tori as his assistant and his long time best friend Isaac managed the front desk and anything and everything not related to the actual clinical work of a dental practice. They were a close knit team and genuinely all cared about each other like family. Charlie had bought the practice almost five years ago just before Covid hit when the grind of corporate dentistry had begun to overwhelm him and took the enjoyment of his career from him. He was much more content in this small, low-key environment that didn’t cause his anxiety and OCD to take over his existence as it had in the past.

He unlocked the doors, turned on the lights and got the coffee brewing while he waited for Isaac and Tori to arrive. In the meantime, he turned on all the computers in the operatories and emptied out the sterilizer from the previous week’s cycle. After he collected all the bottles for the units, he filled them with sterile water and turned on all the equipment each operatory would need. 

He hummed happily to himself which startled him and he wondered at why he felt so hopeful today since, to be honest, he usually struggled in that area. He had had a rough go of it in life, as far as his mental health and personal relationships are concerned. As a teen, he had been outed without his consent in high school and severely bullied which led to a short stay at an inpatient facility. He had persevered through it though to go to the University of Washington for his undergraduate degree where he had intended to study literature and politics but soon fell in love with the sciences and eventually chose his career in dentistry.

He had had a few casual boyfriends in high school, all in secret, of course, because being gay in the 90s was a surefire way to be completely ostracized and after they had seen how Charlie had been treated, no one wanted to be out with him, which he (mostly) understood. It still hurt at the time though. Then, he’d hoped being in Seattle for university would open those doors for him but instead, he had fallen into a situationship with Ben, who had been questioning his sexuality and had thought Charlie made the perfect test case. Charlie had known he was an experiment for Ben, that he hadn’t been confident being himself but Charlie had been loath to push him into something he wasn't comfortable with. Unfortunately, Ben had taken this as a license to mistreat and emotionally abuse him throughout most of their undergraduate years. When Charlie had gotten into dental school in Portland, he had seen it as the perfect excuse to end that relationship and had vowed to focus on his studies and avoid any serious entanglements. Which led to a fling with James, his older professor who made him feel treasured and special until Charlie realized he was also being used in that relationship, had ended it, and had resigned himself to singlehood. He had casually dated a man, Daniel, in his early thirties, but now he had been single for five years and was (for the most part) content with that.

Shaking his head of these intrusive thoughts, Charlie headed into the breakroom to retrieve his coffee mug as he heard Isaac call out his typical morning greeting.

“Morning boss! How are we this beautiful morning?”

“Pfft Isaac, you know you're the real boss around here…and I'm fine, actually feeling pretty good for a Monday. How are you? How was your weekend?”

Isaac put his books and bag on his desk and followed the sound of Charlie's voice to the breakroom to fill his own mug of coffee. 

“It was great! I read three new books, went to my ace group meeting and cuddled with my cats. You? Good weekend?”

“It was fine, nothing major to report. The queer running club started back up for the season on Saturday though so it was nice to see some of the group there. We did our run and then drank coffee together and gossiped like usual,” Charlie said with a smile.

“Any new people of interest in the group? You really should try and get back out there Charlie. I know you’re lonely, even if you try and convince Tori and I you’re not,” Isaac gently encouraged.

Charlie sighed. He was used to them wanting him to sign up for the apps, or encouraging him to date someone from Front Runners, but Charlie just wasn’t sure if that was how he’d want to meet someone. He wanted an accidental interaction where he felt butterflies and a desire to get to know the man better, to want to spend more time together. He knew he didn’t want just a casual sleeping-around situation anymore; if he was going to be with anyone, he wanted them to be serious, to be partners as well as friends and lovers. 

“Nope, no one new or on the horizon,” Charlie answered as kindly as he could, holding back on his instinct to defend himself or be rude to his best friend.

The two took their coffees into Charlie’s office and were just settling in to start going over the day’s schedule when Tori arrived. She’d been his assistant since he bought the practice and he knew he couldn’t survive without her. Her open and compassionate way with the patients, combined with her forthrightness with Charlie, made her the perfect assistant. Of course, that was Assistant Tori; Sister Tori was brusque and very matter of fact and could come off as a bit scary sometimes but Charlie knew she would do anything for him, as he would for her. 

Isaac and Charlie could hear the sounds of Tori getting her own cup of coffee and minutes later, his two hygienists arrived with warm greetings and “how was the weekend?” pleasantries were exchanged among the group. Once everyone was settled in, the team had their daily morning huddle where they went over the day’s schedule - discussed any new patients, verified insurance, and noted which patients may have outstanding treatment that needed to be scheduled. Isaac flawlessly took them through each hygienists’ schedule as well as Charlie’s and even remembered little anecdotes about many of them and noted precautions to be taken when necessary. This helped the day run smoothly and prepared all the staff for any possible adjustments that may be needed to tailor to a particular patient’s needs and give them a pleasant experience. As the meeting wrapped up, the door began to ding, signaling patient arrivals and the phone started to ring as patients called needing to make appointments. 

The morning passed by in a flurry of restorations, two fillings and a crown prep, on the doctor’s side of the office and exams and cleanings on the hygienists’ side. Charlie basked in a few quiet moments to read in between patients, or to chat with Isaac at the front desk - although he also knew Isaac would rather read himself during those down times, often giving him a silent side-eye look to indicate his desire to be left alone. Charlie never begrudged Isaac the chance to read during office hours because he worked hard at what needed to be done in a timely manner, his patients loved him, and he was highly overqualified for the job but stayed because he loved Charlie.

After a relaxing lunch hour during which Tori and Charlie went for their daily short walk - sometimes chatting, other times just content to stretch their legs together - the team were back in the office and refreshed to see their afternoon patients. Charlie and Tori were busy with two more crown preps, a new patient intake and an extraction. Isaac worked on the schedule for the remainder of the week, making sure all patient appointments were confirmed, verifying their insurance coverage, and making an effort to fill any large gaps in the schedule which, thankfully, there were not any this week. They had openings for a couple of emergency patients should there be a need but otherwise the schedule was full. As Charlie walked back to his office after a challenging extraction, he overheard Isaac speaking with a new patient, a Nicholas Nelson, who needed an emergency appointment for the next day. Charlie glanced over Isaac’s shoulder at the schedule for Tuesday, and pointed at the 11 o’clock slot, and nodded slightly his assent to fill that space. 

None of them could have known or predicted the life changing impact that one phone call would have on Charlie’s life, bringing the love of his life into his tiny dental practice.

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick hated making phone calls. Which was ridiculous because he was a grown-ass man, a professional who has had to call strangers his entire life, but he fucking hated having to call anyone, especially someone he didn’t know. The invention of email and then texting had saved him many embarrassing conversations but for this, he knew he had to call. And he couldn’t delay any longer; his spring break was only a week long so it was the ideal time to go to the dentist without screwing up his entire schedule, and his tongue was getting so raw because it wouldn’t fucking leave the broken tooth alone.

He took his phone out and spared a moment to smile at the picture of his kids that was his background screen, all with bright smiles at the lake, and he sighed as he googled the name Ryan had given him of his uncle’s office. “Spring Family Smiles.” Nick liked the sound of it, it seemed cheerful which he knew was important for a dental office. He dragged his hand through his hair and held back a groan before he tapped the call icon to connect. While it rang, he rehearsed what he needed to say, and reminded himself to thank Imogen for always having taken care of this sort of thing for them in the past.

“Good afternoon, Spring Family Dental. This is Isaac, how may I help you today?”

OK, so the voice was friendly enough and Nick liked that they were subverting expectations by having a male front office person. It was a small thing, but he appreciated it nonetheless as, especially since Sean came out, Nick had been eager to support people who were breaking cultural gender stereotypes. 

“Um, hello? Is there someone on the line?” the man asked cautiously, but kindly.

“Oh shit, yeah, sorry. Lost my train of thought there for a moment,” Nick hurried to reply and tried to remember what he was planning to say. “My name is Nick Nelson, Nicholas actually. My son’s best friend said his uncle is the dentist there? And I am in need of a new dentist, and I’ve managed to break a tooth this weekend in Seattle with my sons, and I’m hoping you can get me in before my spring break ends on Friday. I’m a teacher, you see, so it’s much easier to come in when I’m off work…” Nick broke off his ramble and quickly apologized. “Sorry, that was too much, I’m a bit nervous.”

“No worries. It happens a lot. Let’s start back at the beginning then. You said your name is Nicholas Nelson, but it sounds like you go by Nick?”

“Yeah. I mean, yes. My full name is Nicholas but I go by Nick,” (Jesus fucking Christ, why am I so awkward?) Nick took a deep breath. “My son, his best friend is Ryan Holden, and he told me his uncle is the dentist there. Is this the right office? And if so, do you happen to be accepting new patients?”

“Yes, Ryan’s uncle, Charlie Spring, is the dentist here. His mom is actually Dr. Spring’s assistant as well. And, you’re in luck, because we are accepting new patients. You say you broke a tooth this weekend? And you're on spring break this week, so you’d like to try and get in before the week is over?”

“That’s funny, Ryan didn’t mention that about his mom…but yes, I broke a tooth on some popcorn when I took the boys to a Mariners game this weekend. I teach at Truham High and we’re on break this week so if at all possible, an appointment this week would be great,” Nick replied, trying desperately to calm down a bit. He knew he tended to babble when he was nervous and he was so nervous right now. Not only did he hate making phone calls, he also (sort of) hated going to the dentist.

“Right. So we just have to get a bit of info for your chart and then we’ll schedule that appointment; we should be able to squeeze you in for at least the consultation this week,” Isaac said warmly but with business-like efficiency. “First, I’ll need your date of birth, address, phone number, and any insurance information you may have.”

“Nicholas Nelson, obviously. Date of birth is September 4th, 1982.” He rattled off the rest of the necessary information requested of him and, once again, silently thanked his former wife for having handled this their entire marriage.

“Alright Nick. So I’ve created you a patient profile and your insurance looks to be all up to date. Let’s try and find you an appointment time to see what’s going on,” Isaac made a low humming sound and Nick could hear the faint click-click-click noise of a computer mouse in the background. “So, I know it’s last minute but are you available tomorrow morning at 11? It’s the slot before our lunch break and I think Tori and Dr. Spring can see you in that amount of time. Would that work for you?”

“Yes!” (Calm down Nick, you don’t need to sound so eager…) “Uh, I mean,” Nick rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Yes, I can make that work.”

“Perfect! It’s appreciated if you can come in about 10-15 minutes early for your first appointment, just to fill out some paperwork. So, we’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow then!”

“Thank you so much. I’ll be there.” Nick hastily disconnected and threw his head back on the navy blue sofa, heaved a sigh of relief, feeling a silly rush of pride in himself for having accomplished this small task. Sometimes, and he didn’t understand why, this kind of thing could just cripple him with anxiety but once they were completed, he felt such a sense of satisfaction that he had done it.

Nick spent the rest of the day enjoying his child-free time and got caught up marking assignments from the past week that he had let slide. He loved his kids, but he was honest enough to admit that he really appreciated the time to himself occasionally. Despite not needing to take Daisy on her daily walks, he decided to go on one himself, knowing the fresh air and exercise were good for him in more ways than one. 

He pulled up his favorite podcast to listen to as he strolled the loop around the park near the apartment, the well-worn path was lined in maple trees with their newly opened brilliant green leaves, families were playing soccer and football in the field and kids were racing around the play area. With the sun shining brightly in the blue skies and only the occasional puffy white cloud passing overhead, it was the perfect spring weather to be outside. 

(I should go on a hike or bike ride one day this week…) and opened the weather app to see if the temperatures would cooperate another day. He made a mental note to try to go Friday, when the sun was supposed to be shining and warm. (Maybe I’ll see if Mom is free and wants to join me…) and, before he could forget, he sent her a quick text to ask if she’d like to go on a relaxing walk along the river with him on Friday, before he and Imogen traded places and he had the kids again. 

He spent his evening reading and watched his favorite show before he wrapped himself in cuddly yellow blankets to try to go to sleep early. He spent some time scrolling through his social media and liked his friends’ posts of their family trips, and texted Imogen to check in on the kids. His relief at their continued friendship was almost palpable, a constant he could rely on, even in the uncertainty of his own romantic future. He mentioned the broken tooth and his upcoming appointment to her, which led his mind to wander to the next morning. (I hope this guy is nice…and a bit warmer than his sister), as his anxiety reared its ugly head and his heart started to race at the prospect of a new dentist.

To assuage his nerves a bit, he decided to Google the practice and see what information he could glean to prepare him for the appointment. Navigating to the homepage for the practice, he was greeted by a cheerful photo of the office building, and warm greetings and reviews from other patients. (I know that building , I drive by it every day on the way to work). His nerves soothed a little that at least the location was familiar, he clicked the link to the staff profile page and his heart skipped a beat – or maybe multiple beats? – before racing faster than he had felt in a long time. (Oh fuck…I am in trouble).

His cheeks heated up at the photo of Charlie Spring, DDS that sat atop his professional bio. Charlie (Dr. Spring!) was perhaps the most attractive man Nick had ever seen; his dark, luscious curls framed his perfectly angular face and drew attention to his steel blue eyes that seemed to pierce Nick’s soul, his wide smile highlighted his soft looking (kissable) pink lips and caused dimples ( dimples!) to pop on both cheeks. His skin was just slightly olive toned, leading Nick’s mind to wonder how it would look once the sun bronzed it in the summer. If Nick didn’t know any better, he would assume Charlie (Dr. Spring!) had literally stepped out of his dreams, the kind of dreams he hadn’t experienced in many years, but feared might reappear if Nick allowed his thoughts to linger on him too much, especially right before sleeping, especially while he was in bed .  

Shaking himself, Nick scrolled the page to read Charlie’s (Dr. Spring! Jesus!) biography, including the fact that he had done his undergraduate at the University of Washington and gone to dental school in Portland, OR and had purchased the practice in 2019 after having worked previously for a corporate dental office. Nick felt his heart swell with pride at the bravery it showed for Charlie (Dr. Spring!) to have struck out on his own and taken the risk of opening his own business. On the personal side, the bio informed him that in his free time he enjoyed reading, running, spending time with his friends and family, and drumming with his queer cover band. (Drumming! Fuck, that’s hot), Nick’s cheeks flamed pink again. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, reminding himself that this gorgeous man was about to be his dentist and he needed to get it together before he saw him in person tomorrow so he wouldn’t thoroughly embarrass himself in front of him. 

His wayward thoughts more under control now, he scrolled his way through the short bios of the rest of the staff, including Tori Holden-Spring, who he knew as Ryan’s mom, Isaac, who he had spoken to on the phone, and two other women who were apparently the hygienists, one about his age and the other closer to his mom’s generation. They all had the appearance of kindness and gentleness while maintaining an air of professionalism and Nick felt reassured that he would be in good hands.

Closing his phone for the night, Nick burrowed under the covers, missing the warmth and comfort of Daisy by his side, and tried to calm his brain so he could sleep. Those eyes, though, those eyes haunted him into his dreams and Nick knew he would be dreaming about him for days to come. 

The next morning, after a (mostly) restful sleep, in which Charlie (Dr. Spring! Jesus Christ, Nick) starred in his dreams, Nick went on a slow jog to burn off his excess nerves and because, let’s face it, as the baseball coach he needed to stay in shape if he was to have any hope of keeping up with the boys on his team. With the end of spring season fast approaching, Nick would take up the role of coaching the summer select league which would have many of his current and former students on it, including his sons. He looked forward to the season like he did every year, even while slightly dreading the packed schedule that came with it. 

His workout complete, he settled into a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and fresh strawberries plus his coffee and enjoyed reading for a while at the same time. After he showered and dressed in casual jeans and his favorite well-worn hunter green hoodie (he was on break so he didn’t need to dress up, thank you very much) , he thoroughly brushed his teeth and flossed as well. He pulled a bit of styling product through his hair, trying to make his shaggy hair stay where he wanted. He wanted to make a good impression, after all. Not that he had any hope that someone as gorgeous, and likely charming, as Charlie could possibly be single but still… he wanted to look good. 

Ready way too early to leave, Nick felt his nerves begin to return at the prospect of having to go to the dentist in the first place, but also, that said dentist was so beautiful he couldn’t stop thinking about him. (Fuck my life…) He paced around the tiny one room apartment, wishing he was at the house with the kids and the yard and something to do to pass the time. He attempted some upcoming lesson plans, but his mind kept wandering to those dimples again so he quickly gave up. He tried to work on the roster for Saturday’s game but that led him to wondering what the rest of Charlie (Dr. Spring! Jesus fucking Christ) looked like since his bio had mentioned his passion for running. Deciding it was futile to distract himself, he elected to walk to the appointment to waste some time, (and to positively contribute to the planet), lacing up his signature black Vans and making his way out of the apartment complex to the street where the office was.

He forced himself to take his time so that he didn’t arrive sweaty and flushed but still be on time. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he pushed open the door and was greeted by a pleasant vanilla scent and a warm smile from the man behind the counter, whom he deduced to be Isaac. Glancing around at the small but cozy waiting room, furnished with a collection of plush black chairs, two small tables littered with magazines, a white lamp in the corner and a coat rack affixed next to the entrance. Two adjoining walls featured black and white forest scenes that contrasted nicely with the slate grey paint.

“Hi, welcome to our practice! You must be Nick, I’m assuming?” the man asked, welcoming Nick with a grin. 

Nick swallowed his nerves and attempted to smile back. “Yeah, I am. How are you today? Isaac, I’m assuming?” he repeated the words back to him. 

“Yep, that’s me. We’re happy to have you here today, although sorry to have to meet under these circumstances.”

Nick gave him a questioning look. “Your broken tooth…” Isaac clarified.

“Oh right, yeah, it's not so bad but I figure, best to get it checked and taken care of while I’m off work and before it becomes a problem.”

“Of course, that makes total sense,” Isaac agreed with a nod. “Alright, so here’s your intake paperwork. I’ve pulled up your insurance information so I mostly just need signatures on the patient information page, the HIPAA agreement, no-show fee agreement, and then your health history,” Isaac explained as he flipped through the pages on the clipboard he had placed on the counter for Nick to take. He handed him a pen and indicated the chairs in the waiting room for him to sit while he filled everything out. “Once you’re done, Tori will be right out to get you.”

Nick nodded his understanding and gingerly sat in the proffered chair, balanced the clipboard on his lap and began to fill in the necessary data. He was pretty healthy, so he only needed to indicate the allergy to penicillin and list the medication he took for his anxiety. He scribbled his signature on the various agreements and, satisfied that he had completed them all correctly, returned them to Isaac at the reception desk. 

“Great! I’ll let Tori know you’re ready. I think she is just finishing with her previous patient so she’ll be out shortly,” Isaac informed him.

Nick nodded in acknowledgement and returned to his chair, pulling out his phone to read the book he had downloaded for such occasions. The Song of Achilles had captivated him so far and he can’t wait to read more of it on his break, preferably on the sofa with a steaming cup of tea, but the waiting room will have to do for now. After a few minutes, he heard a woman quietly release her patient to Isaac at the front, wishing them a good day in a soothing tone, and then heard her voice call out his name. 

“Nick?” 

Chapter Text

Charlie

The morning dawned clear and sunny, the spring air held the promise of something new and sparked a rare hope in Charlie’s chest. Hope for what, he didn’t know, but it was there nonetheless. Charlie stretched his long legs out in front of him and his arms high above his head and groaned as he rolled out of bed, his body snap, crackle, and popping to remind him of his imminent arrival at middle age. (Stop…40 is NOT that old!) he reasoned with himself, knowing the occasional curly grey hairs that had recently started appearing would beg to differ. He hoped they made him look hot and distinguished instead of just old.

As he made his way into the corner kitchen to start a small pot of coffee, Charlie quickly scrolled through his Instagram and checked his emails. Nothing out of the ordinary; the same spam filled his inbox and the same celebrities were posting the same mundane stories. (God, I need to get a life of my own), an intrusive thought accused. Charlie knew there was some truth to it though, knew he needed to not just be in a rut of the same old events, the same schedule every week. Schedules helped him feel in control, but they also had the tendency for him to feel a bit bored with his life. He sighed. Running club had started back up again and he diligently participated in book club and maybe, maybe he’d even attend some of his nephew’s baseball games this spring, now that it wasn’t always blisteringly cold every time.

He quickly got ready for the day, gulping down his coffee a bit more hastily than normal because he was eager to get moving and see what the day had in store for him. Maybe he’d diagnose a challenging extraction or implant, or maybe he’d meet a new patient with an interesting life story. Charlie didn’t know what it was that made him feel this air of expectation on the wind today but he was excited to find out. 

Reaching the office a bit early, he rushed through the daily setup so that Tori wouldn’t have to do it all as she was inevitably going to be running late today. She usually had to drive Ryan to school on Tuesday mornings for his zero hour class since Michael had an early morning training session at the local ice rink where he coached hopeful young skaters.

Isaac breezed into the office with his usual cheer and stack of books balanced precariously in his arms as he hurried to his desk. Charlie got them both cups of coffee- his “Full of Pride” with a rainbow pattern on the inside and Isaac’s encircled with classic literature around it, the spines showing the titles- and brought them to his office for their morning meeting. The steam warmed his lips and the rich aroma promised a good start to the day. Rachel and Jennifer arrived a couple of minutes later, followed by Tori hurrying in with a stressed out expression on her face.

“Relax Tori, we don’t have a patient until 8:30! There’s no rush this morning,” Charlie reassured her as he pulled up the schedule on his computer and noted their first half hour was free. 

“Thank fuck,” Tori huffed as she threw herself into her chair and blew on her cup of coffee, causing her straight dark hair to fly up out of her face. Unlike Charlie’s wild curls, Tori’s was wispy straight but the same color and they shared the same piercing blue eyes. “I didn’t have to take Ryan this morning because it’s spring break, but had to deal with a flat tire instead.”

“Oh no! That sucks…” everyone chimed in empathically.

Charlie and Isaac went through the hygienists’ schedule and noted a couple of new patients who were coming to establish care, Isaac informed the women of the personal information he had gleaned from their initial phone call. (I’m so lucky to have him), Charlie thought gratefully. Rachel had a couple of notes about her patients, noting a couple of them who needed premeds before their cleanings and asked Tori if she’d be available to assist her during the new patient appointments. Tori leaned forward to glance at the schedule, silently thinking through the timing of her own appointments, and nodded.

“Yeah I can help with the one in the morning, while our patient is getting numb for his crown, but I’m not sure if I can manage the one after lunch.”

“I can help Rachel, no problem,” Isaac jumped in, “I always appreciate the chance to stand up and leave my desk throughout the day.”

“Great!” Rachel said cheerfully, “that’ll make it easier on me.” Isaac smiled and gave her a thumbs up and the two headed off to their rooms to make sure they have everything ready for their first patients.  

“Alright guys, let’s go over our side now,” Charlie drew their attention to the restorative column of the schedule. Tori started off talking about the crown seat first which arrived a couple days ago, and then the crown prep at 9.

“I’ll do all my prelim stuff before you get him numb, OK Charlie? That way, while you are doing that, I can help Rachel with her new patient charting,” Tori calmly said, taking charge of the flow of the day, confident in her skills and the teamwork she inspired. Her eyes continued to peruse down the morning schedule, narrowed and with a happy gasp, she grinned wickedly at Charlie, and shot a knowing glance at Isaac. 

“At 11, we have a new patient,” Isaac started with a mischievous look on his face, “who called yesterday to schedule an emergency appointment for a tooth he broke on a popcorn kernel over the weekend. He’s not in any pain but, because he is a teacher, he was pretty desperate to come in as soon as possible while he’s on spring break,” he concluded with a glance towards Tori.

Charlie, having observed their silent exchange, was having none of it. “OK, so what’s wrong with this guy? Extreme anxiety? Sounds like an ass? What’s up?”

“Well,” Tori drew the word out slowly, “Nick is Ryan’s best friend Matt’s dad; he’s the one who took Ryan with his sons to the Mariners game over the weekend?” ending on a question to see if Charlie remembered. He nodded affirmatively. 

“Ryan called me Sunday night to tell me all about it,” Charlie said with a smile; he loved his nephew and the close relationship they had. “He didn’t, however, say anything about a tooth breaking, which is weird given that I’m a dentist ,” Charlie chuckled, shaking his head. 

“So yeah, I guess he recommended you to Nick because Nick had mentioned his dentist had retired and he was needing to find a new one anyways.”

Charlie nodded thoughtfully, rubbing his temple. “None of that explains the looks though. If he’s Matt’s dad, I can’t imagine him being an ass because Matt is a great kid.”

“Oh no, he’s not. He’s pretty much a golden retriever in human form; he’s one of the most popular teachers at the school and a favorite among the baseball coaches,” Tori assured him. She pierced Charlie with an intense stare, “He’s also incredibly hot and, if I remember correctly from Matt, very single since he and his wife divorced about a year ago.”

Charlie huffed and shook his head at his sister and dearest friend. “Guys, just ‘cause I’m single and this guy is hot, doesn’t mean I’m going to fall all over myself in front of him. I know that is what you were thinking! But I am a professional and I can do my job without simping over a straight man, no matter how hot he is.”

“Charlie!” Isaac interrupted, “you can’t assume he’s straight! You, of all people, should know that!” sounding as if his aro-ace self was personally offended over Charlie’s words.

His hands in the air in defeat, he nodded his assent that Isaac was right and muttered an apology. “But still, you said he is Matt’s dad and recently divorced so the likelihood is that he is straight, and even if he’s not, there is nothing to indicate that he would be interested in me. I can handle this,” Charlie said assuredly. “Now, anything we need to address for the afternoon? Or can we get our day started?”

Tori gave him the run down of the fillings they have after lunch and the extraction at the end of the day that would need some special care and attention as the patient was very nervous. On the same page now, Charlie picked up his coffee again, essentially dismissing them from the meeting and sending them off into their respective areas of the office. He heard Isaac greet Melissa’s first cleaning patient and Rachel’s patient came in moments later. The sounds of the general hustle and bustle of the office settled around him as he contemplated what Isaac and Tori had shared with him about his new patient, (Nick. Nick Nelson, Nicholas Nelson). The name rolls like butter off his tongue and tastes like honey. Even without having laid eyes on him in person, he wondered how Nick tastes.

(No), he chided himself, shaking his head to clear those thoughts from his mind. (I can’t, I WON’T go there and develop another crush on a hot straight man and have my heart broken again. Besides, I’m his dentist now so I need to be professional). Steeling his resolve, he heard Tori coming towards the front office to collect their first patient, a crown seat they had prepped two weeks ago. She basically took care of the whole appointment by herself and only required him to come in at the end to place the final cement, the law preventing her from doing it herself, although God knows, she had the skills to handle it. 

The morning ran smoothly from then on with him moving between his restorative operatory and the two hygiene ones where he did exams and chatted with the patients, getting caught up on all the goings on in their lives since they were last in the office. The new patient in Rachel’s room had a gap where a molar had been extracted a year ago and would like an implant placed there and Charlie secretly buzzed with excitement; implants were his favorite procedures to perform. 

Between his appointments, the exams, and pitching in to help sterilize instruments, his morning flew by and he didn’t have time to worry about his upcoming new patient. (Well), Charlie conceded to himself, (I barely had time to think about him). He’d be lying if he said that the thought of Hot Teacher Man coming into his dental office hadn’t crossed his mind as he went about his day. He was only human after all. And gay, (very gay!) , but that wasn’t a secret either. 

So when he heard the door ding about 15 minutes before the hour (right on time!) , he took a couple of deep breaths to calm down and reminded himself to be professional. He snuck into his office the back way, from the sterile room, to avoid seeing Nick in the waiting room. He would feel more confident if the first time they met, he had his face mask on to hide any unwelcome response on his cheeks. A few minutes later, he heard Tori collect Nick from the waiting room, greet him warmly and chat on their way back to the exam room. He tried to subtly check him out as they walked past and (omg) even in jeans and a hoodie, without even seeing his face yet, Charlie could tell that Tori hadn’t been lying about the attractiveness of this man.

He tuned his ear towards the exam room and concentrated all his efforts on overhearing their conversation (for professional reasons, of course. I’ll need to hear how the tooth broke after all). He shook off his brain's reminder that he would ask when he goes in for the exam anyways so technically, he didn't need to hear this now. He heard Tori thank Nick again for taking Ryan with them to Seattle to which Nick cheerily responded that it was his pleasure. And Charlie’s heart melted to hear those words and (that voice). There was no doubt about it now, he was in big trouble when it came to Nick.

The two chatted in a low murmur that Charlie couldn’t make out for a few minutes although he recognized the sounds of laughter interspersed in the conversation. His sister liked him then, that would be a first for any guy he had even expressed the slightest interest in. He’s so impressed with her compassionate way with patients, knowing that in other circumstances, she was often fairly prickly and hard to get to know. But here, with their patients, she was just what they all needed. His lips raised in a small smile as he pondered her with such pride and love.

“What is that sappy look on your face for?” she demanded, sneaking up on him in his reverie. 

“Nothing, just thinking about how much I love you, and how great you are with the patients,” Charlie responded with a grin. “So, what's the story with Nick’s tooth?”

“Like Isaac told us this morning, he broke it on a popcorn kernel at the baseball game. Swore loudly and startled the boys, I think, which is funny given what they probably hear at school from their friends anyways. So, it’s #19. But no pain, just roughness that’s irritating his tongue. I've set up to smooth that out before we schedule a crown. And I’ve taken the X-ray for you to evaluate,” Tori informed him smoothly, with confidence apparent in her tone.

“Ah OK, so you’ve done my job for me, have you? Guess I don’t need to come in to examine “hot Nick” after all?” He teased, lowering his voice at the end to avoid being overheard.

Tori rolled her eyes (ah, there’s the sister I know and love!) and put her mask back on to accompany him into the room. He caught Isaac’s eye on his way past his desk, flashing him a warning look to not embarrass him (please!).

He followed Tori to the proper exam room, securing his mask over his nose and fiddling with the fabric straps of his loupes nervously. With a deep breath, he entered the operatory and greeted Nick.

“Hi!” he said as he came around the exam chair from behind, extending his hand in Nick’s direction as he walked. “I’m Charlie Spring. I’m the dentist here, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” His heart jumped into his throat as he took in the gorgeous man sitting in his exam chair and he had to remind himself to breathe.

“Hi,” Nick responded softly as his eyes slowly scanned over the bits of Charlie that weren't hidden behind the mask, and smiled broadly. He accepted Charlie’s offered hand in a soft shake, sending sparks shooting through Charlie’s whole body and causing a sharp intake of breath on both their parts. The handshake lasted just a few moments longer than was normal for a first time introduction and when he realized he was essentially still holding Nick’s hand, he gathered himself together and released him. 

“So, Tori told me that you managed to crack a tooth at the baseball game that you so kindly took my nephew to over the weekend, is that right?” Nick nodded, seemingly at a loss for words at the moment. Charlie reminded himself it was just because he was nervous at the dentist, not because he had (any kind of reaction) to shaking Charlie’s hand. 

“And, you're not in any pain on that tooth?” he confirmed. This time, Nick shook his head but still didn't say anything.

“Tori mentioned that your tongue is pretty irritated, though, from the sharp edges where it broke, so we can smooth that out to make you more comfortable before you go today,” he continued. “I’m going to lay the chair back now, is that alright?”

“Yes,” Nick croaked, cleared his throat and then tried again. “Yeah, that’s fine. Sorry I’m a bit nervous, the dentist isn’t my favorite place to be,” he confessed, looking embarrassed at the admission.

“Ah, don’t worry about that; we’re no one’s favorite place to be,” Tori responded reassuringly and Charlie nodded in agreement.

As the chair descended, Charlie arranged his loupes over his eyes and clicked the light on; he quickly used hand sanitizer and put on his gloves. Grabbing his mirror, he indicated for Nick to open his mouth so he could take a quick look and confirm the necessary treatment to restore the tooth to function again. Charlie glanced over at the computer and saw Tori had taken an intra oral picture as well, in addition to the X-ray, and he silently nodded his thanks to her for thinking ahead as always. After a quick exam, during which Charlie chatted about Ryan and their close relationship, he returned the chair to its raised position to talk with Nick about what needed to be done.

He removed his loupes, allowing them to hang loosely across his chest and he tossed his face mask into the garbage along with his gloves. He liked to approach treatment planning as relaxed as possible, especially with new patients so they didn’t feel so intimidated by him and the dental language he used. He tried to ignore the reaction Nick had to seeing his full face; he forced himself to look away from the throat that bobbed as Nick swallowed nervously and silently pleaded with his own face to not pink up like Nick’s had, the blush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck. It had taken all his effort to clear his throat and speak calmly and professionally in his normal tone, when he really wanted to deepen it and see how Nick would respond.

“So. That tooth had an amalgam filling in it - most people call them silver fillings - probably from back in your childhood. They are notorious for causing teeth to break and it looks like that is what has happened in this situation. You’ve broken out the mesial lingual cusp but it isn’t too deep and there is enough remaining tooth structure to be able to put a crown on it to protect it and allow you to keep using that tooth for many years to come. Given that you're not in any pain?” he waited for Nick to reaffirm this was the case, “there is minimal risk of needing a root canal which is a relief… Do you have any questions?”

Nick paused, his mouth opening and closing like he planned to ask something and then changed his mind. “I guess, just, what is the procedure for a crown since I’ve never had one before? And then, when is the earliest you can get me in?”

Tori started clicking on Nick’s chart where she added the crown treatment and then found their next opening while Charlie explained the procedure. 

“So basically, it’s quite similar to a filling from the patient's perspective. You’ll be numb on your lower left jaw for a few hours. Tori will take a digital scan of your mouth which the lab uses to make the crown. Then, I’ll come in for about 15 minutes and prep the tooth which basically involves removing a millimeter and a half from the tooth structure to create space for the crown. After that, Tori will scan again for the permanent shape and she’ll make you a temporary crown that you’ll wear for two weeks. At the two-week mark, you’ll come back and we’ll cement the permanent one on. And that’s it. They are pretty simple. Tori and I do a couple a day usually so we have a good system.”

Nick nodded thoughtfully. “Alright, so it’s two more appointments for this?” Charlie nodded in affirmation as he tried to calm his excitement at the chance to see Hot Teacher Man at least twice more. He thought Nick looked pleased at the prospect as well.

“Nick?” Tori jumped in from her spot at the computer, startling them both out of their apparent staring contest. “It looks like we somehow have an opening on Thursday this week, our last crown appointment of the day, that I could slot you in for. Are you free at 2 in the afternoon? I know you were hoping to get this taken care of during break so…”

“Oh my god, thank you! I was worried I was going to have to wait weeks to see you again! I mean… to get this taken care of! Yes, I can be here, that’s perfect. The kids are with Imogen this week so my schedule is very flexible,” Nick reached up to rub at the back of his neck as he rambled, his nerves showing adorably. 

Charlie nearly choked as he thought of how (flexible) Nick might be and he desperately tried to cover his response with a little cough. Nick gave him a small, shy smile as if he’s clocked where Charlie’s mind went. Charlie flushed with embarrassment and quickly stood up, forcing his hands into his scrub jacket pockets to prevent himself from touching Nick unintentionally and to make sure the slight situation he had going on was concealed. (God, I need to splash some cold water on my face!) He saw Tori had made the appointment in the schedule so he made his way to the exit. 

“Uhhh Cha-Dr. Spring?” she said, interrupting his escape. “Were you going to smooth that out for him before he leaves?”

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry, I totally forgot! Nick, would you like me to do that? I can use the drill and polish it a bit so it's smoother until Thursday.”

Nick gulped at the word “drill” and sputtered, “no, I think it’ll be ok until then, it’s just a couple more days…”

“Are you sure? It won’t hurt a bit and only take a couple of seconds,” Charlie tried to reassure him.

“Nope, nope I’m good,” Nick insisted, shaking his head. He smiled tentatively at Charlie. “I’ll see you Thursday then?”

Charlie beamed at him. “Yes, yes you will, Nick. See you Thursday.”

Thursday seemed too far away and too soon at the same time; Charlie was not sure how he was going to survive having Nick Nelson as his patient.

Chapter Text

Nick

It was only Wednesday night and Nick was already spiraling. He knew he needed to get the crown taken care of as soon as possible, he knew Charlie Spring was a well respected dentist and he liked the vibe of the office, he knew he could miraculously afford the out-of-pocket expense Isaac had gone over with him on Tuesday. What he didn’t know was how he was going to survive the procedure, or rather, more specifically, how he was going to survive being around Charlie (Dr. Spring!) for that long, with his thin fingers in his mouth, his stunning eyes and soft curls hovering above him while he worked.

Nick's cheeks flamed with embarrassment again as he remembered the way Charlie’s (Dr. Spring! Jesus fucking Christ) beauty and mannerism had rendered him speechless on Tuesday morning. He’d been chatty and (mostly) relaxed when it was just Tori in the room, the two of them had discussed their boys and the upcoming summer baseball season. He’d had no problem relaying to her the story about the popcorn and his ill-timed F-bomb in front of the boys in public. But then Dr. Spring (ha!) had walked confidently into the room with his hand stretched out to greet him and all coherent thoughts had flown out the window. 

He’d bumbled his way through the necessary responses to his exam questions, grateful that Tori had informed Ch- (Dr.Spring!) before he came in so that Nick could mostly nod along and agree when prompted. And the sparks that had raced through him from their handshake and Dr. Spring’s gentle touch on his lips during the exam??? Nick still hadn’t stopped thinking about them, wanting very much to repeat that experience, but also not wanting to make his dentist uncomfortable. He thought he had seen evidence of interest when Dr. Spring’s eyes had widened and darkened as he had taken in Nick for the first time, but he couldn’t dare to hope that such an amazing person could actually be attracted to him. He was just a regular guy, a teacher, a dad, a generally boring man.

(OK, so these thoughts aren’t helping. I just need to calm down, appear relaxed tomorrow, finish getting this crown and then…nope, nope can’t even let myself think about the “and then” right now. One step at a time here. I’m so out of practice with any kind of relationship, I wouldn’t even know where to start.)

After getting himself ready for bed, Nick curled up with his iPad to keep reading The Song of Achilles and tried to calm his brain and distract himself from the near constant barrage of thoughts of Charlie Spring (that’s a good compromise, just full name him all the time) that had filled his mind since, well, basically Monday when he had Googled the practice and become obsessed. The story of these two young gay boys broke his heart a little bit every chapter he read, both for the characters but also for himself for not having had that experience as a youth himself. He was definitely sure of his sexuality now, and wanted to make up for all his lost queer opportunities by creating new ones.

Reading lulled him into a restful sleep so he was able to rise the next morning refreshed and determined to present his best self to Charlie Spring during his crown appointment. He was not going to give away any signs that he had a small ( let’s be honest, rather huge ) crush on the gorgeous dentist; he would get the treatment done, bide his time and maybe, maybe try to develop a connection that could grow afterwards. 

He arrived on schedule to his appointment, having thoroughly brushed his teeth beforehand, and his nerves flooded back as he settled into the waiting room chair while he waited for Tori. He planned to read again but as he glanced up before opening the app, he noticed a copy of the same book on Isaac’s desk and jumped up excitedly to ask what Isaac thought of the book. He loved to talk about the books he was reading and judging from the stacks of books around Isaac’s desk, he might be in good company. 

“Actually, it’s Charlie - Dr. Spring - who is reading it, he just dropped it on my desk when he came back from lunch in a hurry. I’m the one who recommended it to him, have you read it?” Isaac enthusiastically asked Nick.

“I’m reading it right now actually,” Nick replied. “It’s beautifully written and brilliantly captures the love between them. I’m prepared to be utterly heartbroken at the end.”

“It’s actually the book we are reading for the queer book club Charlie and I attend once a month. You should think about joining us! It’s still three weeks away, the final Thursday of every month. You’ll also want to prepare to cry for at least four hours when you get to the end, just a fair warning.”

Nick was thrilled at the invitation, both as a way to spend more time with Charlie without pushing himself on him, and as a way to connect with fellow queer people in their city. He eagerly agreed and Isaac said he would email him the details, using the email from his patient information he’d provided. Thanking Isaac, he made his way back to his seat just in time for Tori to arrive to take him back.

He smiled at her and said hello, asked how her day was going, and followed her back to a different exam room than his previous appointment. He still felt a bit nervous but the short conversation with Isaac had distracted him marginally from what was coming. He knew he could trust them, they did this procedure multiple times a day but still, he couldn’t help that he was anxious. 

After she secured the teal paper dental bib around his neck, Tori checked on how he was feeling. Unable to lie, he admitted to being a bit nervous, about the procedure of course, he couldn’t admit to the other cause of his nerves..

“Well, if it would help, we do offer nitrous services which, for most people, just relaxes them a bit. I describe it as the feeling of having a glass of wine or two or like wearing a weighted blanket for comfort,” Tori offered kindly.

Nick paused to think for a moment. He knew it would calm him down, make him a better patient if he used the nitrous but he was also concerned that he would say something embarrassing, like accidentally confess his all-consuming crush on Charlie. The conflicting situations battled in his head briefly and then he nodded.

“Yeah, I do think that might help. Can you promise, though, if I start to say anything embarrassing, you’ll turn it off? I really want to make a good impression here.”

Tori pursed her lips like she was going to say something but then nodded her assent with a smile and reassured him she would take good care of him. 

“Right then, if it’s alright, I’ll just do the preliminary scans for the lab before I get that going because it's a bit awkward to work around. Then I’ll get you all hooked up before Doctor comes in to get you numb, sound ok with you?”

Nick nodded and saw Tori disinfect her hands and put purple gloves on before she lowered the dental chair so he was reclined at a comfortable angle. It was actually a surprisingly relaxing position and, if he wasn’t so keyed up about the crown and Charlie coming in, he suspected he could even fall asleep. Once he was situated, she indicated she would use a wand connected to her computer to scan his teeth so the lab would be able to fabricate his crown to Dr. Spring’s exacting expectations. It seemed like a pretty simple process and he was actually fascinated by the advancements in technology. He remembered the God-awful goop that had been used to take impressions when he had braces as a teen so this was a significant improvement. Tori had taken a quick impression of the broken tooth area with some pink stuff that felt like runny playdough before it hardened but it was really fast so it didn’t bother him.

After she finished the scans, she fitted the nitrous nosepiece over his nose and started the flow to help him relax. After a minute or so, he started to feel the calming effects, like a soothing balm spreading throughout his limbs. He sighed peacefully and exhaled all the anxiety out of his body as the chemicals worked their magic. 

“Feeling better now?” Tori asked knowingly. Nick nodded a bit dopily but he was sure he was still in control of himself, he hoped so anyways. 

“Alright then. We’ll put some topical gel in the cheek now and Doctor will come in and get you numb.” 

Once the tingly gel was placed, Nick closed his eyes and tried to relax as much as he could manage. This was it then, the time for Charlie Spring to come in. (Time to act normal, talk normal, be normal).

Moments later, Tori and Dr. Spring came in; Tori had already started to get her gloves on while Charlie smiled down at Nick, rested a hand on his shoulder and asked how he was doing today. Nick reminded himself to breathe, smile and respond, preferably in that order. So he did just that. He took a deep breath of the nitrous, smiled up through his lashes at Dr. Spring, and said, “I’m brilliant; how are you, beautiful?”

Slapping his hand over his mouth, he flushed bright red with embarrassment and apologized profusely, blaming the nitrous for his inappropriate words. “I’m so sorry Dr. Spring, I can’t believe I just said that! Tori, I think you need to turn this shit down before I make a complete ass of myself.”

“Please, Nick, you can call me Charlie, most of my patients do. Dr. Spring is my dad, so I prefer to go by Charlie anyways. We’re used to people saying stuff on nitrous so don’t worry about it, but I am going to take that as a compliment, if you don’t mind,” Charlie teased.

“You should, it was a compliment,” Nick hurried to assure him, “because it’s true… but also, how are you today? You didn’t say.”

“Well, thanks for asking, I’m doing great. The weather is still beautiful for my walk home after the work day and you are my last patient.”

“So. This is the least fun part of my job, getting you numb. I’m not gonna lie, it doesn’t feel great but it’s so much better than feeling the entire procedure OK?” Charlie (ah, such a relief) narrated to Nick as he stretched his gloves on and picked up the syringe. Nick nodded and steeled himself to be brave, especially now in front of Charlie.

Nick kept his eyes squeezed shut, deprived himself of looking into Charlie’s face, and did his best to be strong. He knew people assumed him to be stoic and unfeeling, given his size and athleticism, but he was, in fact, soft hearted and cried easily. He hoped that wasn’t the kind of thing that would turn Charlie off, but if so, they wouldn’t work out anyways because he needed to be free to be himself, not just in his relationships, but all the time. He was working on that confidence, really he was. But Charlie was so gentle and even though it caused a few zings through his jaw, (not the good kind like before) , it was over quickly and he was already feeling the numbness as the anesthetic took effect. 

“OK, all done Nick. You did great. Normally, I’d leave you in peace while we wait but because you’re on nitrous you’re stuck with one of us to monitor you. Tori has some things to take care of in the sterile room…so is it alright if I stay? We can chat, get to know each other a bit?” 

Nick hadn’t missed the quizzical look Tori fixed on Charlie before she eased out of the room, leaving them alone for the first time.

“Yeah, yeah, I’d… I’d really like that Charlie. I want to know everything about you,” he agreed (God damn it! This nitrous is really fucking with me).

Charlie chuckled, nodding himself, as if he felt the same. Nick wanted him to reciprocate his interest, he was quite desperate for it he realized. 

“So then, everything, huh? That could take awhile… let’s just start with easy stuff. I heard you talking to Isaac about our book club we attend. Do you like to read?”

Nick nodded enthusiastically, well, as much as he could with his face kind of attached to the chair by the nitrous tubes. “Yeah, I mean, I wish I could read more to be honest. Although since the divorce, on my week away from the kids, I do read a lot more now than I ever have before. It’s one of the few things I like about my ex’s time with them. Do you read a lot?”

“I do. Especially in the cold weather months when I am stuck inside more often, it’s a comforting way to pass the time. Now that the weather is getting warmer, I’ll probably read a bit less because I’ll be able to start hiking and running outside again.” Charlie laughed softly, “I’ll also have to stop watching Schitt’s Creek as much, I won’t have the excuse of the cold to stay inside anymore.”

“Oh my God! That’s my favorite show! I’ve seen it at least ten times. I love the dry humor and the way there isn’t any homophobia, like, it’s not even a thing. That was groundbreaking for me,” Nick gushed, and then forced himself to reign it in, knowing he would - and has! - talk about Schitt’s Creek for hours if given the opportunity. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty great. My good friend Elle introduced me to it about five years ago. She’s trans, and works as an LGBTQ rights activist, and was so passionate about how that show was going to be instrumental for queer onscreen representation. She couldn’t help but pass that excitement on to our friend group.”

Nick beamed; he knew his family would be safe in this office. Knowing one of Charlie’s best friends was trans, Nick felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and openly bragged about his own queer kids. “That’s so fascinating. My oldest son, he’s trans. He’s at a university in New York right now, studying pre-law so he can become a queer rights lawyer someday. I’m so fucking proud of him. He’s just … so much more himself since coming out and really living his truth - it’s beautiful to see. My youngest son, he’s also bisexual, and has his first boyfriend right now. It’s so adorable. Young people today give me so much hope for the future, that’s part of why I love teaching.”

Charlie’s eyes softened and welled with tears, which he struggled to blink back rapidly before they spilled over.

“Oh my god, Nick, thank you for sharing that with me. It’s so amazing to hear you talk about your kids with such pride like that. You have another son also, right? Matt, the one who is friends with Ryan?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah and a younger daughter who’s 12, Heidi. I’m sure you’ll meet all of them eventually, I need to bring them in for cleanings soon… or maybe Imogen will have to? Because I’ll be back at school…well, I’ll figure that out.” Nick shrugged.

“What do you teach then?” Charlie asked.

“French. My dad is French so it just seemed natural to pass it on, especially since I can teach it with a perfect accent,” he chuckled as he thought of some of the other French teachers he had met and how very American they sounded. He didn’t miss the quiet gasp that Charlie had emitted when Nick had said he spoke French, and smirked a bit to himself about it. “Um, I feel like we’ve only been talking about me though… tell me more about you. I know you went to UW and then dental school in Portland. And I know your sister is Tori and you have a nephew, who’s great by the way, but I don’t know anything really about you .” (Oh my god, did I just disclose my internet stalking??? Fuck my life…)

“Reading up on me, were you?” Charlie teased, a twinkle in his eyes. Since he’d already been caught, Nick just shrugged and smiled at Charlie. “Well, what else is there then? I guess I’ve already mentioned the running, which I do every other day and on Saturdays with the Front Runners, we talked about reading…I live in the same apartment complex as Tori and Michael so I spend a lot of time with them…oh! And I’m the drummer for a 70s and 80s cover band! We perform a couple times a month at two of the bars downtown.”

“You play the drums? That’s so cool!” Nick flushed at just the thought of seeing Charlie like that. 

“Thanks, I mean, I’m not that great but I do love it. You should come see us perform sometime,” Charlie said, looking almost shy at the invitation.

Nick opened his mouth to respond but Tori interrupted at just that moment. “I think you must be numb now Nick so we should get started,” as she not so subtly moved the appointment along.

“Oh, yeah… now that you mention it, I think you’re right,” he agreed, as his nerves flared again at the upcoming procedure. But he knew they were competent in their abilities so he forced himself to relax and took deep breaths of the nitrous again.

Even though he really had no idea what exactly they were doing, he was completely numb so he didn’t feel anything. Charlie and Tori chatted softly about their coming weekend plans, a new show she and Michael were watching together, and something that had happened in the news recently that Nick didn't quite catch. The nitrous made him so relaxed and they worked so seamlessly together, that he was startled when Charlie started to talk to him again. 

“Alright Nick, we’re just about done with the drilling part, you’ve been amazing. I just need to make sure your bite is correct now, so go ahead and bite all the way together for me, and hold. Perfect,” he said as Nick complied, “Just a bit more to go and then we’ll finish up.” 

Nick heard the drill start again and the suction tube was placed back into his mouth and he felt like he should still be nervous, whether it's from the procedure or Charlie’s proximity but he was so relaxed. Their earlier conversation filled him with confidence that he and Charlie actually have a lot in common, and the easy flow they had had… that couldn’t have just been the gas, right? He hoped not, he hoped that Charlie had felt it too, that the chemistry and connection he had sensed wasn’t just one-sided. A rush of anticipation filled him that maybe, maybe he could talk to Charlie some more, after. After the nitrous was turned off, after he was not laid here with his mouth open and vulnerable. 

The buzzing of the drill stopped and Charlie indicated he should bite down again so Nick swallowed and did as he was told. Charlie made a quiet humming sound, acknowledging his work was complete and nodded to Tori who gently said, “We’re all done now Nick, with the prep part, so I’m going to turn the nitrous off now, OK? You’ll be on oxygen for about 10 minutes to cleanse it from your system. While that happens, I’m going to scan just that tooth now, for the lab to make your permanent with the images. Then, I’ll quickly fabricate and cement your temporary crown on, like we talked about Tuesday.”

Nick breathed a sigh of relief that they were finished and his jaw could get a bit of rest, it had started to feel a little sore towards the end. He saw Tori move around the other side of his chair and grab that scanner wand again and quickly rolled it around from a few angles on that side of his mouth before she shut it down. She clicked a few buttons on her computer and then turned back to him. 

“Time to make that temporary for you now. It usually only takes me about five minutes, especially on that tooth, it’s one of the easiest ones to make. We should be able to set you free in about 10 or 15 minutes.”

Nick nodded, a bit sad to be honest, that it was over so quickly, that Charlie and Tori were so efficient he doesn’t have a good excuse to hang out with them anymore. 

“I’m going to go do my exams for the last hygiene appointments Tori, I’ll be back to check in before I leave.”

Tori nodded and glanced at Nick, who quickly schooled his face to hide his disappointment that Charlie had left the room. She sat in the chair Charlie had vacated and had the little goopy impression from before in her hand. Instructing him to open, she placed it back in his mouth at just the right angle and had him close again.

“That takes about a minute and a half to set up and then I just have to trim the edges a bit before I can cement it,” her hands moved quickly as she grabbed instruments and moved things around on her trays. Not long after, she removed it and then told him to relax while she finished making it. He felt totally back to normal again, the wondrous gas had left his body, so she took the nosepiece off and he thanked her. 

“At least I hopefully won't embarrass myself anymore,” Nick quipped to her.

She chuckled, “I’m sure he loved everything you said.”

“Oh my god…” Nick replied, covering his face with his hand. 

Nick heard the drill again, startling him. He turned to watch Tori as she expertly polished the edges of this tiny off-white thing in her hand. (Oh, that’s the temporary crown.) It was intricate work as evidenced by the way her lips tweaked to the corner and her eyes squinted to see up close. He listened to the distant sounds of Charlie talking to someone further into the building, his voice was soothing and kind and he felt a rush of affection for him, despite only having just met. Even if nothing becomes of this… crush, he could tell Charlie was a lovely person whom he’d like to know, in any capacity possible.

“Well, I think we’re good here. Let’s just try it in, shall we, and then I’ll cement it if it all looks good,” Tori said.

She carefully placed her fingers into his mouth and arranged it inside. Nick was aware that she was in there but couldn’t actually feel anything due to the lingering anesthetic, and she tilted her head for a different angle and used the mirror to see. He saw her hands come across again and then the tell-tale sounds of flossing. 

“Now I’m going to check the bite. Go ahead and bite down, and now tap your teeth together a bit like you are chewing. And open again. Oh! It’s perfect! Love it when it’s so easy.”

“I think you just make it look easy, you're obviously really good at your job,” Nick complimented her.

“She is… I don’t know what I’d do without her,” Charlie’s voice startled Nick, making him jump in his chair. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“No, no it’s fine. I just didn’t hear you come back in,” he said, blushing as he fumbled over his words again. He’d been thinking of what he would say to Charlie when he came back, and now he’d gone and gotten all flustered again and forgotten what he wanted to ask him… (something about his music??? Oh, right!) “You mentioned, Charlie, that you play the drums? And perform at a couple bars sometimes? I was just curious, which ones? I mean, maybe I can come watch you sometime, like you suggested?”

Tori smirked loudly and Charlie giggled at Nick’s seeming inability to be calm around him without the aid of nitrous. While Tori used some kind of foul-tasting stuff to secure the temp into place, Charlie rambled a bit about the two bars that they most often perform at, and the bands’ hope of participating in a couple of festivals over the summer. Just little gigs, he deflected, but his enjoyment of it is obvious. Nick really wanted to see him perform. 

“Nick, I’m all done. So, the temporary has some cement in it to hold it in but it obviously isn’t permanent so you’re going to want to try and avoid eating on that side of your mouth while it’s in. Also, please don’t eat anything really sticky or hard and crunchy, all of which are common culprits of losing a crown.” Nick nodded and agreed. His chair was upright again so he swung his legs over to get up and leave. 

“I’ll walk him out, Tori, if you’d like, so you can start on cleaning up,” Charlie offered and she agreed, with a knowing smile at them both. 

“As much as I hate the dentist, I actually had an okay time. Sorry about all my awkwardness, no more nitrous for me next time!”

“Don’t worry, you were fine. I’ve heard much worse, trust me. Isaac, can you schedule Nick’s crown seat for him?” Charlie asked as they reached the front desk.

Isaac grinned, marked his place in his book and nodded. Nick turned to Isaac when Charlie disappeared into his office, a bit disappointed he didn’t get to say a proper goodbye. They made quick work of choosing a time, he would need to get a sub for the morning that day but that was OK, he almost never missed work so he had plenty of sick leave available. Once the appointment was loaded into the calendar on his phone, he turned to walk out and was surprised to see Charlie standing behind him, apparently waiting for him. 

“You said you walked today and so did I, so I thought we could walk together a bit, until we reach a splitting point?” Charlie asked hopefully, holding his backpack with one hand on his shoulder. 

Nick nodded and smiled widely at Charlie, and then grimaced when he realized half his face was still numb, his hand came up to rub on the back of his neck like it always did when he was nervous. He gestured towards the door and held it open for Charlie and then followed him outside. They talked about nothing of deep importance and yet, for Nick it was everything. After about five minutes, he noticed Charlie start to slow and then come to a stop.

“I’m that way now…” he murmured, pointing to the right.

“Oh OK, yeah, I’m that way,” Nick indicated the opposite direction. 

“So, I guess, bye…” Charlie gave a little wave as he pulled away from Nick.

“Bye Charlie…” Nick walked the rest of the way home feeling lighter than he had felt in a really long time.

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie was so fucking proud of himself. He had held it together while he worked on possibly the hottest guy he’d ever seen (in real life!) without making an absolute fool of himself. And it was hard (in more ways than one!) . Not only had Nick looked so handsome in his grey joggers and solid black hoodie which had made Charlie’s heart race, but he had been a tad high on nitrous so he seemed to have lost his filter and was so endearing in his nerves. 

When Charlie had arrived home, he allowed himself just a tiny bit of time to think back to their interactions during the appointment, and then vowed to not think about him for the entire two weeks until he would see him again. He thought about how Nick accidentally called him beautiful ( that had to have been a slip of the tongue and he didn’t mean it, right?) and how they had so many common interests. He remembered having to stop his mind from wandering to what else Nick could do with such a wide open mouth and delicate lips and tongue. He marveled at his own bravery to wait to walk home with Nick, even though he could only assume Nick was straight.

He was straight, wasn’t he? Nick had been married for God’s sake, for a long time. And sure, Charlie knew bisexual people existed but he just couldn’t allow himself to even contemplate that Nick might be bi or pan or basically, anything other than straight. Because then he’d go and get a crush, (alright, a BIGGER crush) and just end up hurt again like he always did. Charlie shook his head to himself and resolved he was done; done hoping Nick was queer, done dreaming of the possibility of a relationship with him, just done thinking about Nicholas Nelson at all.

It didn’t work. For the next several days, Charlie thought about Nick all the time. He tried to force his mind away from Nick every time it happened but then, he would inevitably see or hear something that would pull him right back into all-consuming thoughts of the tall, gorgeous teacher. Who happened to be a fucking French teacher, by the way, who, by all accounts was an amazing dad, liked to read and watch Schitt’s Creek and essentially, was Charlie’s dream man come to life. 

He just had to keep telling himself that Nick was straight; it was the only way he could try to prevent his feelings from running away from him. If there was no chance of them being anything but friends, then he hoped he could treat Nick like every other patient. But, if even the slightest chance existed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to let it go.

So instead, he forced himself to stay on his usual schedule for the weekends. Friday mornings were always his early morning grocery shopping days because it was usually less busy while everyone else was still at work. This particular Friday, however, was spring break so his normally 30 minutes shopping time took 45 minutes which shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did, because changes to his schedule, especially when it related to food, threw him off balance. He spent the rest of his day cleaning his apartment, taking a walk around the tree lined park near where he lived, reading more of his book and going to Tori and Michael’s for dinner, all the while trying to keep thoughts of Nick at bay. 

He had to give Tori the stink eye to stop her from going on about Nick; he really didn’t want Ryan to catch on to the fact that he might have a tiny crush on his best friend’s dad. They played a round of Settlers of Catan, a family favorite of theirs, which Charlie won, before he said goodnight and walked back to his apartment. 

Front Runners met on Saturday morning at 9am so Charlie got up early to drive downtown to meet with the rest of the queer running club that ran along the riverfront weekly and then enjoyed coffee and pastries afterwards. The group had grown since Charlie first joined, now a good twenty people came regularly and sometimes upwards of forty were there. He’d made some casual friends through the group, but none that he felt like he connected with on a deeper level, and certainly not on a romantic one. He’d been asked out multiple times by newcomers to the group, but he’d just never felt the desire to say yes. To be honest, Nick is the only man Charlie has had that feeling about for a number of years. (And there I go again thinking about Nick…) 

After his run, since it was starting to get warmer outside, Charlie decided to stop by the local nursery for some frost-hardy flowers to put on his small balcony. It always cheered him up to see the first blooms open while he sat out there and sipped his coffee and read. He selected an assortment of colors of primroses and tulips and grinned at the thought of them on his outdoor table. After paying, he made his way home and trudged up the stairs to the second floor landing, toeing his shoes off just outside his front door, and slipped his house shoes on to walk through the apartment to his slider door where he placed the flowers on the small square glass table in the sunshine. He smiled (now it looks like spring out here), the rounded pink, yellow and purple flowers brightening the otherwise drab balcony.

Charlie passed the rest of Saturday like he had Friday, reading and watching TV. He had a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for dinner while he watched Saturday Night Live, laughed out loud at the political jokes and enjoyed the quirky comedy. He glanced at the empty grey sofa cushion next to him, a pale blue and white striped blanket tossed over the back, and sighed, not for the first time wished he had someone to share the little moments of life with. Yeah, he’d love to have someone for the big events and exciting vacations as well, but this, this was what he really wished he could have a partner for. He remembered Nick’s honey-brown eyes, crinkled with laughter at the creases and his hand over his mouth in embarrassment,  and he imagined seeing those same reactions while watching something funny together. (If only…)

The next morning, Charlie dressed carefully and gave himself a stern talking to regarding Nick. He was going to have his weekly Sunday brunch with his parents and he absolutely did not want them to pick up on him having interest in anyone, let alone a patient. His mom would likely have a lot to say about that. She was much better than she had been when he was younger, not commenting on every little thing she took note of when Charlie wasn’t up to her standards. Most of the time, she was kind and compassionate and had really been making an effort to get to know Charlie, just as he was, not how she wanted him to be. He appreciated it and was glad they were more civil now, but sometimes their get-togethers still seemed fraught with tension. Which was why they had taken to meeting at their house, not at Charlie’s apartment, so she couldn’t nitpick at anything she considered to be amiss. His dad, who used to just let her say what she wanted to her children no matter how much it hurt them, had even started standing up to her and insisted that she couldn’t speak to them that way. The past couple of years had seen a lot of growth in their family but he still felt a bit like he walked on eggshells around them.

His parents greeted him kindly when he arrived at their split level home, the tan and brown exterior reflecting the general mood of the household and the tell-tale smell of cinnamon in the air told him his mom was making homemade cinnamon rolls.

“Cinnamon rolls, Mom? I thought those were just for our birthdays.”

“Well, we’re going to be gone this year during your birthday in a couple weeks so we thought we’d have them early today… is that going to be alright? Oh, I’m so sorry, I should have thought to call and check in about the change,” Jane seemed nervous, fidgeting her fingers, she obviously actually cared about how this might affect Charlie, not just her.

“Mom, it’s fine. I appreciate the concern but I’m alright with changes like this now, more than I used to be at least. As long as it’s one of my safe foods, I can usually be flexible. And you know I love your homemade cinnamon rolls,” Charlie assured her, giving her a quick side hug. “I also smell coffee, and I’m in need of a large cup right about now.”

Julio chuckled and went upstairs to the kitchen to retrieve Charlie’s favorite mug and filled it with coffee for him. They all joined in the warm living room while the rolls finished cooling, the walls lined with pictures of Charlie and his siblings through the years, school portraits and family vacation shots, and caught each other up on the week. He privately celebrated that he was able to narrate his work week, two days of which had Nick visits, and didn’t mention him at all. And damn, though, now he was thinking of Nick again. He has thought about their conversations over and over again, a little niggling in the back of his mind that he has missed something, but he just can’t put his finger on it.

He stood straighter and offered to help his mom bring the food to the table which she gratefully accepted. Once seated, they passed around the fresh sweet rolls, dished up scrambled eggs and selected fresh fruit. This style of eating was just what Charlie needed, especially around them, the ability to serve himself and to determine his own portion sizes and choices. It made all the difference, even now, twenty years since his last serious relapse. They talked while they ate and then enjoyed a second cup of coffee together before Charlie pushed back from the table to head home.

“Charlie,” his dad said, as he walked him to the door to get his lightweight jacket and shoes on. “There’s a new guy at work who I think you might hit it off with. He’s a few years younger than you but he's quite nice. And he’s new to the area, and doesn’t really know anyone, so I thought… maybe, you could meet him? Even if there aren’t any sparks, you could at least make a new friend?”

Charlie took a deep breath and then sighed. “Dad, it's nice of you to care and want to help this guy, but I really don’t want to be set up like that. You know I’ve said it before, I want to meet someone on my own, like, in a normal, organic way, not be set up or matched on an app. I want to feel a real connection, not a forced one. I’m sure you can understand that, can’t you?” Charlie pleaded, meeting his dad’s eyes and tried to convey how he felt.

“Yeah, I know. I know you’ve said that before but I just want you to be happy, and I know you want to have someone so I thought…”Julio drifted off. “But I get it. Sorry to intrude. Maybe…maybe you can invite this guy, his name is Noah, to the gay bar when you play? Or to running club? I think he just wants to meet some other gays here, you know?”

Charlie nodded; he did know. He knew what it was like to be new to a city and have to find your people. He had been lucky to have his friend group during school and the friends he had now, and all the ones in between. He could do this, he could be that for someone else. 

“Sure Dad. Why don’t I text you the info for our next show and a link to the run club website so he can just come if he wants to, ok? I’m open to meet him if he comes, just as friends, but I don’t want it to have any appearance of a date alright? Not a date .”

Julio gave Charlie a hug goodbye, clapping him on the back as he did so. “Thanks son, I appreciate it.”

By this time, Jane had also come to the door to say her goodbyes and she wished Charlie a good week. “We won’t see you for brunch again until the first Sunday in May, don’t forget we’re going to Mexico for two weeks.” Charlie nodded. “I hope you have fun. I’m sure it will be really relaxing.” He climbed into his car and waved to them as he drove away, releasing all the tension from his body as he did so.

Sunday evenings were one of his favorite times of the week because he always FaceTimed with Elle and Tao. Since they’d moved to LA when Tao’s production career took off, they didn’t get to see each other as often as they’d like, but they purposefully made time every Sunday, even if only for a brief chat. As soon as they were connected and made their way through excited greetings, Elle immediately was on the attack, her eyes shining brightly through her glasses as she flipped her long braids over her shoulder.

“Charlie, spill! I can see it in your eyes, you've met someone and you're trying to hide it from us but you must tell us right now .” 

“What?!?!?” Charlie sputtered, shocked that she had clocked him so quickly. “ How can you know that already???”

“You have a tell. I’ve known you for years and I can tell when you have a crush on someone that you’re trying to not talk about but always actually do want to talk about,” Elle waved her arm flippantly in front of her face. “You can’t fool me.”

“UGH. Ok, fine. Yes, I did meet someone. He’s a new patient whose son happens to be Ryan’s best friend. I've met him twice now in the office and he’s been utterly lovely both times, if not incredibly awkward. Oh yeah, and he’s hot as fuck too. I’m totally screwed; I can’t believe I’ve managed to finally have a crush on someone again and just my luck, he’s probably straight.”

“Why do you think he’s straight Charlie?” Tao butted in, “just because he has a kid, doesn’t mean he’s straight. Of course, I want you to protect yourself from heartache again but if your assumptions are getting in the way, shouldn’t you actually find out before you spiral about this?”

“Too late,” Charlie mumbled.

“What did you say?” Tao demanded.

“I said, ‘too late’. I’ve definitely already spiraled about this. I keep trying to make myself not think about him but instead, all I do is think about him. I hardly know him at all, but we have so much in common already and he basically looks like sex on a stick and… gggaaaa. What am I going to do? He’s my patient and Ryan’s friend’s dad so I can’t fuck this up. I just keep trying to convince myself he has to be straight, so I don’t get my hopes up.”

“Alright, Charlie. First of all, him being your patient isn’t that big of a deal. You're not his therapist or GP, you're his dentist. You just take care of his teeth. No big deal. Secondly, Ryan is your nephew, not your son, so if something went south, you can easily avoid that awkwardness without hurting Ryan. And finally, did he give you any indication that he might not be straight? Like, do you have any reason to believe you might have a chance here?”

Elle was being much too reasonable, and shockingly, so was Tao, who usually wanted to defend him or fight any man he’d dated in the past. He paused and for the first time since Thursday, really and truly mulled over their conversation and all that had happened between them. He recounted to his friends how Nick was so flustered at the first appointment and the jolt of electricity they had both seemed to feel when they shook hands. He flushed when he remembered that Nick had called him beautiful and had tried to blame it on the nitrous. Elle smiled softly at that, “he’s not wrong, you are very beautiful Charlie.” He told them how Nick’s favorite TV show was Schitt’s Creek like theirs, and how he was reading the book for the LGBTQ book club. He mentioned how two of Nick’s four kids were queer and the way Nick’s face lit up in pride when he talked about them. There was something else, but again, he just couldn’t figure out what it was, his brain desperately tried to remember what felt like a crucial piece of the puzzle when it came to Nick. 

Charlie raised his eyes from his fidgeting fingers back up to his friends and saw them exchanging knowing looks. 

“What?! Do you have any insights to share with the group?” He knew he sounded frustrated and even a bit rude, but he felt stretched thin emotionally after trying to hold this all in and then essentially word vomited his every thought about Nick in the course of a couple minutes. “Sorry, I just…this is just a lot for me to process. I like him, like, I think I could really like him. And that’s scary for me because I haven't felt like this for a long time, maybe not since James at dental school and we all know how that turned out.”

“It’s alright Charlie, it’s normal to be nervous after so long. Especially when you've met in a situation that doesn’t lend to you knowing his sexuality right from the start. That adds to the stress and anxiety, reasonably so. Give yourself a break. Maybe just, try to go with it a little. Maybe try to be friends? Hang out with him in a comfortable environment? Connect online? At the very least, from what you’ve told us, he sounds like someone who could turn into a good friend and would be cool to spend time with. See if anything comes of it later?”

Charlie exhaled shakily as he slowly nodded his head.

“Yeah… I think you’re right. I’ve been trying to fight it but maybe I should, just, try to be his friend? Reach out to hang out or invite him to my running group? Maybe I’ll find out he’s actually a terrible person and this worry will all have been for nothing. Or he’ll tell me he’s straight and wants to find a new wife…”

“Or maybe, you’ll get everything you’ve always wanted, Charlie. It's OK to dream and hope for that, you know.” Tao could be so sweet and sensitive when he wanted to and Charlie loved him, loved them both for it. “Thanks you guys, I really appreciate the support. Now, tell me what’s been going on with you? Any new projects since last week?”

They spent the next few minutes updating Charlie on the case Elle was preparing to testify in court for and the movie Tao was producing that had just wrapped filming. It was so wonderful to talk to them and not for the first time, Charlie wished they all lived closer. He couldn’t wait to see them when he went to visit at Thanksgiving. 

After signing off, Charlie got ready for bed quickly and thought about what they had said. He pulled his phone out and took a deep breath, opening Instagram to see if he could find Nick. It seemed the least invasive way to start a casual friendship these days. Nick’s name was fairly common but eventually, Charlie found the profile he was pretty sure was his Nick, and sent a follow request as it was set to private - (probably because he is a teacher) , Charlie reasoned. He quickly flipped his phone to silent, laid it next to his bed and turned off the light and closed his eyes to sleep. He had done it, he was going to try to be friends with Nick and see what happened.

Chapter Text

Nick

The first day back to school after any break was always hard, and not just on the students who suddenly had to go from staying up late and sleeping in as long as they wanted, to getting up early and making it to school on time. Nick remembered the struggle from his own time in school and even a bit as a young teacher but since he became a parent who also happened to be a teacher, it felt exponentially more stressful. 

He’d been back at the house with the kids since Friday night and they’d had a good weekend together. He had taken them to his mom’s house at the lake north of town where they strolled along the shoreline, noting the ducks were arriving back to the area now that winter was over, and stayed for dinner and a movie with his mom. She hadn’t really understood everything that had happened between him and Imogen, but she was supportive and was doing her best to learn about and acknowledge his family's various identities. He couldn’t totally blame her for her initial confusion, and sometimes resistance, of new labels she had never heard of and were often dismissed as phases. She was from a different generation and had been pretty set in her ways of seeing the world, but now, she was opening herself to loving and encouraging her family and he appreciated it more than he could express.

After the day spent with his mom and kids on Saturday, Nick knew he needed to spend Sunday preparing for the upcoming school week including baseball practices and a game. He woke early to go to the grocery store while the kids were still in bed and the store was usually fairly empty because so many people were at church at that time. As he drove, his thoughts drifted to Charlie again, as they had been all week since he’d first seen his profile on the practice’s website. He wondered what Charlie might be up to today, what other hobbies he had and whether they might get along even better in a more relaxed situation than the dental office. 

His body reacted as his thoughts wandered to what it would feel like to run his hands through Charlie’s thick curls, to kiss his plump lips, or even to simply hold his hand, and he shifted slightly in his seat. He knew he wanted to find out, knew he wanted to have the chance to get to know Charlie as a person, as a man, as a gay man. It startled him how confident he felt about his attraction to Charlie as it had been years since he’d felt like this for anyone, and even longer since he had been brave enough to admit his feelings towards a guy. Being bisexual had always been a part of who he was, but had rarely been a part of how he had lived. For most of his adult life, he’d been with Imogen, and he had loved her and wanted her and, except for a few drunken fumbles with both genders in college, he’d only slept with her. To think about that with Charlie, or anyone else really, was a major shift for him. He knew it would take time for him to feel ready for all of that with someone new, but the dating part? The getting to know them part? He was definitely ready for it. And he wanted it to be with Charlie, he just had to figure out how to go about it the right way.

He continued reflecting on that off and on throughout the day; while he did the shopping, when he tossed a ball around with Matt and Niles, as he carefully painted Heidi’s nails, and walked Daisy in the afternoon. He made a big pot of chili for dinner so they’d have leftovers later in the week when their schedules were crazy, and it made him wonder what kind of foods Charlie liked to eat, and whether he liked to cook or bake. He finished folding the weekly laundry, the kids put theirs away in their respective rooms, and laid out his clothes for the next day. 

Feeling as prepared as he could be for the new school week, he said goodnight to the kids and put himself to bed early so he could read and hopefully drift off. Reading a book about two gay young men meant, of course, he thought about Charlie as well, plotting his next move to get to know him. He knew he’d see him in two weeks at the office again but that just seemed like too long from now. He wanted to do something to connect with him before then and resolved to find a way tomorrow. For now, he needed to sleep so he set his alarm for the morning back on again and turned the phone to silent. He quickly sent off an “I love you” text to Sean in NY and put his phone down next to the bed. Daisy curled up next to him and her warmth and heavy breathing lulled him to sleep.

His alarm woke him out of a lovely dream where he was strolling along the lake holding hands with Charlie, talking and laughing as they watched his kids and Daisy bound along in front of them. He wanted to go right back to sleep and be in the dream again, but instead, he dragged himself out of bed to start the week back at work. He went about his morning routine and hurried the kids through theirs so they could all get out the door at their respective times. Nick shouldered his baseball gear bag and his school satchel and grabbed his phone, quickly checking the time as he shoved it into his pocket. He had a host of notifications, all of which would have to wait otherwise he’d be late.

Traffic was fine on the way to work, despite a low hanging fog that filtered through the pine trees along the highway, since he was out earlier than most people. He wondered how early Charlie had to leave in order to walk to work, and hoped he was safe when he crossed the busy thoroughfares. Trying to get his mind back on his day and off Charlie, where he’d really rather it be, he mentally ran through his classes for today and the drills he planned to do with the boys at practice. They had a game tomorrow so he needed to make sure everyone was healthy and ready for it.

When he arrived at Truham, he parked his blue Toyota sedan in his designated spot and made his way into the building and through the halls lined with student lockers to his classroom, in the wing where all the foreign language classes were. He turned on the lights, left his bag at his desk and set his phone upside down next to his computer and roamed the classroom, making sure it was prepared for his fourth year students who arrived first. Once he was satisfied he was ready, he sat down and turned his computer on where he read and responded to a number of emails from parents about the baseball schedule that week and one from a disgruntled parent regarding their daughter’s test scores. He loved teaching, but the parents could be challenging sometimes. 

Sooner than seemed possible, the first bell rang and Nick’s day began in earnest. He taught one class after another with only a short time to eat quickly during his lunch break before his next class arrived. He’d only made it through his personal emails by that point, not even having time to check any other notifications on his phone. His last two classes of the day were first years which were the most draining as they were more easily distracted than the older students but their enthusiasm made up for it. He spent his prep period at the end of the day finalizing the baseball practice plans and before he knew it, he was outside on the field with the boys.

Practice was cold and wet and they were all very happy to get inside at the end of it. After all his planning for the game the next day, it looked quite possible that it would be rained out after all. Such was the risk of an outdoor game in the spring in the Pacific Northwest, where it rained hard one day, was warm and sunny the next, and then snowed again, switching seasons like a toddler having a tantrum. 

He hurried home to shower and warm up, making sure he left enough hot water for Matt and Niles as well since they had also been out in the cold practicing. Spaghetti and salad was the plan for dinner tonight since it was simple and everyone liked it. While the pot of water heated up to boil, Nick finally scrolled through the remaining, and new, notifications on his phone. None of the emails required a response so that was easy. He had a text from his mom wishing him a good week at work and one from the eye doctor indicating that Niles’ new glasses were ready for pick up - he made a mental note to see if Imogen could pick them up since his schedule was packed this week. The water had started to boil now so he set his phone aside to add the noodles, stirring them so they wouldn’t stick together, and poured sauce into another pan to warm up. He popped a loaf of garlic french bread in the oven and got out the cheese, cucumbers and tomatoes the kids liked in their salad. Stirring the noodles again with one hand, he picked up his phone to check his Instagram, the only notifications he hadn’t made it through yet. 

What he saw made him drop the wooden spoon he was using onto the floor in shock. “charlie_spr1 has requested to follow you.”

“Oh my fucking God,” Nick breathed out, as he quickly grabbed the spoon off the floor and placed it in the sink to wash. He retrieved a new one to stir the noodles again and took a couple of deep breaths before he shakily tapped to accept and sent a follow back request immediately. He berated himself that this request had likely been there all day and he hadn’t responded fast enough, and now maybe Charlie didn’t want to be friends with him, or, possibly even worse, he would think that Nick didn’t want that. (Oh God), Nick’s thoughts spiraled until he could barely breathe. 

The loud bubbling of the noodles and the smell of baking bread broke Nick out of his spiral and he gently set his phone down to pull the bread out of the oven and turn the pot off. He drained the residual water from the pasta and called the kids to come and get dinner. He knew he wouldn’t be able to have his phone at the table, they were pretty strict to keep dinner time as device-free as possible, so he clicked the message icon on Charlie’s profile and contemplated what he could quickly say to apologize for his delayed response, without being too over the top in his enthusiasm.

Nick [6:25] : ‘Hey Charlie! So nice of you to reach out this way! My day was crazy so I just now got your follow request; sorry for making you wait.’

Nick [6:26] : ‘Although that sounds so cringe, just assuming you were waiting for me to respond all day…’

Nick [6:26] : ‘And now I’m rambling again and sending you multiple texts in a row so yeah, I’m just gonna stop myself.’

Nick [6:27] : ‘Sitting down to eat dinner with the kids, I’d love to chat later tho.’

Nick [6:29] : ‘That is, if YOU want to chat later.’ 🤦

Nick [6:30] : ‘OK, I’m really stopping now.’

Nick couldn’t believe he had embarrassed himself again with Charlie. Why couldn’t he just be normal and not go all in when it came to him? 

Nick and the kids enjoyed their dinner together, talked about the first day back, all of them bemoaning having to go to school, even though they honestly actually enjoyed it. Matt caught them up on some of Sean’s recent texts, the two of them were closer than anyone else, and Heidi chatted about the upcoming school fundraiser she was volunteering for. Nick, for his part, tried to stay focused on the conversation but his mind kept drifting to Charlie and he hoped he hadn’t ruined what little chance he might have with him. He could hear his phone buzzing a few times and he was itching to check the messages but he held firm in the “no phone at the dinner table” rule, even though, for the first time ever, he wondered why he thought it was so important.

The kids finished eating pretty quickly though, all eager to get back to their own stuff. Niles was in charge of putting the leftovers away so he did that while Heidi loaded the dishwasher and Matt took the garbage out to the street for pick up the next day. They all pitched in with the household chores to try and make life easier for everyone and Nick was glad they (hardly ever) complained about it. He finished washing the pots and pans, and wiped down the table and counters before making himself a cup of tea and settled on the sofa with his phone. He had messages waiting from Charlie.

Nick smiled down at them, his lips twitching in amusement at the stream of notes Charlie had sent him.

Charlie [6:50] : ‘Nick, you adorable man, do not worry about it. I assumed you were just busy.’

Charlie [6:55] : ‘OK, honestly (since I do want to always be honest), I did spiral for a bit that I had freaked you out by requesting to follow you.’

Charlie [6:57] : ‘I just felt like we had a connection when we met, and you’re Ryan’s best friend’s dad and summer baseball coach (I’ve heard), so I thought it would be nice to get to know each other.’

Nick tried not to giggle with excitement at that, his kids were still up and would tease him mercilessly if they heard him acting like a teenager on Insta.

Charlie [6:57] : ‘That is, if you want to get to know each other too! I mean, I can always use more cool friends.’

Nick [7:37] : ‘You think I’m cool? How embarrassing for you when you find out I’m basically a boring guy who teaches high school, likes to read and hang with my kids and go to bed at a reasonable hour.’

Nick tried to ignore the ‘friend’ word, hoping it was just Charlie trying to be polite. While he did want to be friends with Charlie, that was absolutely not all he wanted them to be. 

Nick [7:40] : ‘You, in fact, are the cool one. Playing the drums, runner, doctor…I can’t compete with that.’

Charlie [7:41] : ‘Nick, I’m a DENTIST, that’s a very different thing than a doctor.’

Nick [7:43] : ‘Your title, I’m pretty sure, is Dr. Spring, so you are, in fact, a doctor and I will not be hearing anything else from you about that.’

(OK), Nick thought, (maybe I can do this. I can flirt with him over text, can’t I?) 

Charlie [7:48] : 😊

Charlie [7:50] : ‘alright you win’

Nick grinned as he formulated his response. They spent the next hour messaging back and forth, talking about their days and nothing in particular until Nick knew he needed to head to bed otherwise he would be a zombie teaching tomorrow. They bade each other goodnight and Nick went to bed feeling more hopeful about his romantic future than he had in a while.

The rest of the week passed in a similar manner. Nick went through his work day like usual, taught his classes, coached the team, and took care of the kids. Interspersed through all of that, he and Charlie continued to message each other, sometimes just quick greetings or sending memes they thought the other would like, and sometimes having long conversations about their lives. Nick felt his attraction to Charlie, not just romantically but as a person as well, growing each day, with every discussion leading him to want to know Charlie more and more.

Back at the apartment on Saturday morning, Nick ate his breakfast and tried to come up with a reason to see Charlie this weekend. Even though they’d been flirting all week, (he thinks Charlie’s been flirting, he knows he has been trying) , he was still nervous and hesitant to push Charlie into anything he’d be uncomfortable with. He contemplated asking Charlie to go for a run with him, since it was something they both enjoyed, and honestly he needed a run this weekend, but then he remembered Charlie would have already run at the river this morning. (Damn, I should have gone too). He wasn’t paying attention to how he was eating because suddenly he realized the temporary crown had come loose, stuck in the peanut butter covered English muffin he was eating. He quickly removed it from his mouth and swore under his breath. (Well, at least I know my dentist and now I have a legitimate reason to see him today).

He pulled out his phone and shot off a message to Charlie, hoping he’d see it this morning and be available to reattach it for him. He tried to finagle his large fingers around the tiny thing to get it back on for the time being, but he was too awkward and his hand was too big. (And now I’m thinking about Charlie’s beautiful, thin fingers in my mouth, Jesus fucking Christ, Nick, get a grip) as he adjusted himself in his joggers. A few minutes later his phone pinged, a message had arrived, he hoped from Charlie.

Charlie [9:45] : ‘Oh Nick, I’m so sorry! That can happen but it’s pretty rare…Tori is out of town this weekend with Michael but I can meet you at the office if that’s ok with you?’

Nick [9:46] : ‘Of course it’s OK, I’d love to see you. But I don’t want to put you out, are you sure?’

Charlie [9:50] : ‘Have to see the hottest man I know? Nah, not interested.’

Nick nearly choked on the swig of coffee he had just sipped. Charlie thinks he is hot? He giggled and tried to formulate a flirty response in return. 

Nick [9:55] : ‘You must be looking in a mirror then, Charlie…’

Charlie [9:57] : 🫣 ‘Seriously tho, it’s not a problem. I just finished my run and could come directly there now. So, like, be there in about 20 minutes?’

Nick [9:59] : ‘But you always have coffee afterwards you said, I don’t want to take you from that.’

Charlie [10:00] : ‘...’

Charlie [10:02] : ‘Well…would you like to get coffee with me after I fix your tooth? There’s a little cafe up the road from the office.’

Charlie [10:03] : ‘Only if you want to. It’s OK if you don’t want to. Sorry, that was stupid, you can ignore me.’

Nick [10:05] : ‘CHARLIE, I’d love to go to coffee with you. I’m really enjoying getting to know you.’

Charlie [10:06] : ‘OK, so yeah. Meet at the office in 20? Omw now.’

Nick [10:07] : ‘See you soon x’

(OMG, did I just send an ‘x’??? What is wrong with me???)

Charlie [10:10] : ‘x’

Nick bounced on the balls of his feet, waiting outside the office for Charlie to arrive. He hadn’t had time to do much to get ready except quickly brush his teeth and drive over so he hoped he didn’t look too terrible compared to Charlie. He reminded himself that Charlie had just finished a run that morning, so he likely wouldn’t be in nice clothes either for their date. (Was it a date?) But then, he remembered Charlie was going to be in his running attire and likely sweaty and flushed from the exertion and those were not appropriate thoughts to be having while he was wearing loose joggers and about to lay in the dental chair in front of Charlie. He mentally slapped himself on the forehead for not switching to jeans that might protect him a little bit more…

Just then, Charlie pulled up in his small black Kia, grinning widely at Nick as he alighted from the car. 

“Hi! I hope you weren't waiting long?”

“No, I just got here myself. I’m so sorry to make you come in to work on your day off like this.”

Charlie waved his hand dismissively in Nick’s direction. “It happens. And it’s my job, which I love so, no worries, like I said before. Plus…” he said slyly, “this gave me a good excuse to see you this weekend.”

Nick’s stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of Charlie wanting to see him, just like he had wanted to see Charlie. He hoped it was for the same reason.

Charlie unlocked the office door and held it open for Nick to enter ahead of him. Once inside, he flicked on a few lights and directed Nick to the same chair he’d been in before. 

“Go ahead and sit down. I have to grab a couple of things and I’ll be right there. I don’t have any scrubs with me though, is it OK with you that I’m just in these?” he asked, gesturing to his running pants and fitted top. 

Nick’s eyes widened as he took him in fully, with his tight clothes and wild curls held back from his face with a headband. He cleared his throat nervously and nodded, “Yeah, uh, of course that’s fine.” Charlie smiled and nodded as he walked away, leaving Nick to settle himself into the chair and wait. He could hear the sounds of Charlie moving about the office and perked up when he came back in, carrying a tray with instruments on it and wearing his face mask. 

“OK, I’m just going to lean you back now and we’ll re-cement it real quick. You brought it with you right?” Charlie teased. 

Nick giggled and fumbled for the tiny ziplock baggie in his pocket where he had stowed the crown. “Yeah, it’s right here,” he said, handing it to Charlie. 

Charlie, his hands in gloves now, took it from him and went to work. After a few minutes, during which Nick worked overtime at keeping his thoughts pure, Charlie patted him on the shoulder and raised the chair back up.

“All done. Now, no more eating on that side, especially not sticky foods, OK?”

Nick nodded and apologized again, cursing himself again for his carelessness. Charlie reassured him he was just teasing, and it was not that big of a deal, he was happy to take care of it.

“I'm just going to drop these instruments in the sterile room and we can go to coffee then?” Charlie said, with a hopeful lilt in his voice. 

Nick nodded eagerly, “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it. My treat, as thanks for this.”

“Absolutely not Nicholas, I’m the one who invited you, so it’s my treat. You can get it next time, if you insist.”

Nick felt like he could burst, he was so excited about the prospect of a “next time” with Charlie, but he forced himself to keep it together and agreed with a smile.

They spent the next two hours talking, laughing and (flirting?) over coffee. Nick felt like he was floating on air as they both walked out to their cars to go their separate ways home. He didn’t want this to end, the feeling of wanting to be with Charlie all the time was growing steadily stronger the more he got to know him. He knew he would see him soon, on Thursday, in fact, when he was getting the permanent crown put on, but it didn’t feel soon enough. He knew he was down bad for Charlie, falling harder and faster than he ever had before, and he could only hope that Charlie felt the same.

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie couldn’t believe how swiftly his life had taken a turn when he met Nick. It had only been a little over two weeks ago, 16 days to be exact, since Nicholas Nelson had come to his dental practice and into his life. Since he had stepped way out of his comfort zone and followed Nick on Instagram and they became friends, not a day, and sometimes not even an hour, had passed between them where they weren’t messaging each other. Their conversations ranged from silly and superficial to intense and deeply personal. There was something about Nick that just made Charlie feel safe to be himself and secure in the fact that Nick wasn’t going to run away as a result. There were still topics Charlie kept closer to his chest, his eating disorder and mental health issues and Ben’s past abuse, and he was sure there were topics Nick was holding off discussing as well, like his divorce and his homophobic brother. But with everything they had shared, Charlie knew he was falling hard for Nick. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone before, as if his emotions were going to burst out of him, and certainly not this fast. 

Charlie knew he really needed to get a handle on himself before he fell properly in love with Nick. He knew his fragile heart was already going to be broken when Nick inevitably met a new woman who interested him, because, despite some signs Nick may have been flirting with him or reacting to him physically, Nick still hadn’t revealed his sexuality to Charlie as anything but straight and, like it or not, Charlie felt he had to keep assuming Nick was, for Charlie at least, not an option. (At least I can keep him as a friend).

Nick had his appointment for his permanent crown seat today and Charlie employed some deep breathing exercises to focus on his friendship with Nick and try to keep his errant feelings hidden. He could do this, he could be friends with a man who he wanted in every way, not just friendship, and he would survive it.

Nick’s appointment was the first one of the day so he would only have to miss one or two classes in the morning. He arrived a few minutes early, dressed in khaki chinos and a brown button up with cream pinstripes. The two men talked for a few minutes about their hurried arrivals, both having been excited to see the other in person, but Charlie wasn’t sure if Nick was excited to see him in the same way he was.

“Well, I know you have to get to class soon, so I guess I better get to work,” Charlie said resignedly. 

“As much as I’d like to, I can’t stay here all day,” Nick joked, “Gotta pay the bills to send my kids to college.”

That led into another short conversation, while Charlie was setting the instruments up, about Sean in NY, what he was studying and when he’d be home for the summer. Charlie hoped he’d have the chance to get to know him better as he sounded like an amazing kid.

“You must be so proud of him, I mean, I know you are proud of all your kids. But I can really hear it in your voice when you talk about him,” Charlie explained.

“I am, yeah, incredibly proud. To be able to so unashamedly own your queerness at a young age, I envy him honestly. Times are so different than when we were young, aren’t they?”

Charlie nodded his assent. This was something else he hadn’t shared with Nick yet, his outing and how he had been bullied for it in the early 90s, and his office wasn’t the place he really wanted to have that particular conversation.

“Well, that's a story for another day I think. Let's take care of the crown now. Has the temporary been OK, since we re-cemented it?”

Nick nodded and said, “No problems, you did amazing,” with a little wink up at Charlie.

Charlie’s cheeks blushed deeply at the flirty wink; he tried desperately not to read into it.

“Well, it seems like you stayed on your best behavior with it too, no need to punish you and make you take me out to coffee again.”

“Char, you know I’d love to take you for coffee again, you just name the time and place,” Nick responded softly.

“Char? Did you just call me Char? Here I am letting you call me Charlie instead of Dr. Spring and you just decided to take it one step further, didn’t you?” he shot back, trying to ignore the rapid beating of his heart that Nick had given him a nickname. “Maybe I should make you call me Dr. Spring again instead.”

“I’ll call you whatever you want me to,” Nick replied gently, no longer teasing. 

Charlie blinked, confused at what was happening. Because this felt so much like flirting and he liked Nick so much maybe it was muddling his brain. At that moment though, Tori came by, pointedly tapping her finger to her wrist where her watch lay under her scrubs, reminding him to get going on this appointment or they would be behind all day. He nodded minutely towards her and turned back to his instruments. 

“OK, OK. Well, let's take off the temporary and adjust the permanent and get you to school. Sorry, I keep getting distracted by you…”

He quickly removed the temporary and placed some desensitizer on the tooth before he began to fit the crown. Tori’s temporary had been made perfectly so the zirconia crown fit the first time, with only a minor adjustment needed to the biting surface. He flossed both contacts just to be sure and then softly called out “Tori!”

Moments later, Tori arrived and started putting her gloves on. “How's the fit?” she asked, “Did you have fun doing my job for me this morning?” as she smirked at him like the menace she was. 

“Perfect,” he answered, “And it’s my job too,” glancing down at Nick to see if he had noticed. Judging by the quizzical look on his face, he’d caught on that Tori was teasing him.

“Yeah, it's only when hot guys are here that you do this part yourself.”

“Tori!” he exclaimed. “Nick’s the only one I've done a crown seat on since you started working for me!”

“My point exactly.”

“Oh,” Charlie sighed, wishing he could disappear as he noticed Nick’s grin getting wider as he had also picked up on Tori’s teasing.

“Anyways, it’s ready now so go ahead and mix the cement so we can let Nick go, he has to get to school.”

“Right away boss,” she complied, acting as if she hadn’t just exposed his gigantic crush on Charlie.

Nick opened his mouth to allow Charlie to complete the crown seat and once he was satisfied all was in order he sat Nick’s chair back to its upright position and took his gloves off. He saw Tori do the same and slide silently out of the room. Even if she had just royally embarrassed him, he appreciated that she was giving him some privacy to talk to Nick a bit more.

“So, any plans for the weekend?” Charlie asked Nick, as if he didn’t know it was Nick’s weekend with the kids.

“Just the kids, maybe we’ll start clearing out the garden if the weather holds. You?” he inquired hopefully.

“Well, running on Saturday morning, which you could join, of course, like I've said before. They’re open to anyone, not just queer people, as long as you’re an ally. And then my band is playing at Pink Pony Saturday night.” Nick had looked at Charlie strangely when he’d been talking about the running group so maybe he wasn’t actually as interested as he’d seemed previously, but his eyes had lit up at the news about the band.

“You’re performing? Can I come?” Nick acted like it was the event of the season which Charlie quickly assured him, it was not.

“I mean, yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just cover music at the gay bar for 80s theme night. You don’t have to come, you’d probably be bored.”

“Why would I be bored? I’d be there to watch you perform!”

“OK…” Charlie hesitated, “and you're OK with it… going to a gay bar, I mean?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Nick looked confused, “I've been to lots of them.”

“Well, if you’re sure you don't have anything better to do, then, yeah, that'd be great if you came. I’ll message you the details later then,” Charlie agreed.

“Great! Well, I’d better get going. I have to be in class in an hour, only found a sub for the first two periods,” Nick explained as he pulled his school lanyard with his name badge on and stood up to follow Charlie out of the room. Charlie inhaled sharply when he looked closer at Nick’s lanyard, the bright colors of a pride flag encircling his muscled neck and hanging across his chest. (He has queer kids), he reminded himself, (of course he would wear a pride flag). That niggling thought came back again, like a scab he wanted to pick at, so strong was his frustration that he couldn’t name what his brain was trying to reveal to him.

Nick followed Charlie to the front desk where Isaac was waiting to collect his remaining fee portion, his eyes lighting up when he saw the pride lanyard around Nick’s neck.

“Love the lanyard,” Isaac beamed at Nick.

“Oh, thanks. Yeah, I think it helps the kids know I’m a safe person at the school, you know? If they need to talk or have problems, they can see they can trust me, that I’m there for them,” Nick modestly said. Charlie’s heart nearly burst out of his chest; God, he was so gone for this man.

“I’m sure they know, Nick. How could they not?” Charlie reached forward to shake Nick’s hand, the professional way to say goodbye as his dentist, only to have Nick grasp him in a warm hug, a hug that lasted much longer than was professional or even only friendly. (Dare I hope?) Nick released him and Charlie dazedly said goodbye before turning into his office to allow Isaac to finish with Nick’s bill. He sat down heavily in his chair and put his head in his hands and tried to focus on not appearing incompetent for the rest of his day.

“I don’t think he’s straight.”

“Jesus Tori, how do you still just sneak up on me like that after all these years?”

“Older sister magic,” she said smugly. 

“Well, be quiet! I don’t want Nick to hear you!” he whispered.

“He’s gone, and I agree with Tori!” Isaac called from the front desk, cackling at Charlie’s expense.

“UUGGGHHHH…” Charlie groaned and planted his face in his arms across his desk. “What am I going to do?”

Despite the awkwardness Charlie felt that morning with Nick, their messages continued as if nothing had happened. Maybe, as far as Nick was concerned, nothing did happen, because it was only Charlie who was overthinking every last second of their conversation and trying to figure out Nick’s intentions in the relationship. He supposed it was possible that Nick was just an overly friendly person with everyone and had no idea that he’d been sending subtle signals of interest to Charlie. Maybe he was queer and didn’t even know it, which was possible since many people didn’t figure it out until their adulthood, especially when they'd been in a long-term monogamous heterosexual relationship as Nick had been. 

Charlie found himself itching to ask Nick, just to get it out in the open, but he was afraid his feelings for Nick would be so obvious whenever they were together that he’d lose the chance to even be friends because Nick would always be worried that Charlie was hitting on him. He decided he’d just have to wait it out and continue on in their friendship, messaging throughout the day and continuing to hang out when the opportunities arose. Charlie knew Nick also planned to come running on Saturday and he’d expressed interest in the book club Isaac organizes so at least he’d see him occasionally in person. 

Saturday morning dawned cold but clear, Charlie’s favorite weather to run in. He only allowed himself a small cup of coffee before a run, otherwise he would feel the liquid sloshing uncomfortably around in his stomach and he really didn’t want that on his first run with Nick. He opened their message thread to say good morning and see if Nick would want to drive downtown together - to save gas, of course, it had nothing to do with Charlie hoping for extra one-on-one time with Nick. 

Charlie [7:30] : ‘Morning handsome. Was thinking we could contribute to saving the planet and drive together today, if you’re still planning on coming?’

N ick [7:38] : ‘Well good morning to you too! I will happily participate in car-sharing planet protection, especially if it means more time with you.’

See? It’s comments like that where Charlie just wanted to know if Nick meant it in a friendly way or, he hoped, in a flirty way, but he was just so scared to ask.

Charlie [7:40] : ‘Glad we can fight climate change together then. I’ll pick you up, I’m guessing you live on the way into town rather than the way out like I do, judging from the direction you turned when we walked home together.’

Had that really only been just shy of three weeks ago? Charlie couldn’t believe it, his whole life felt different to him in such a short amount of time.

Nick [7:41] : ‘Yeah my address is on Britannia Rd.’ <map pin drop>

Charlie [7:44] : ‘It's not actually that long of a walk from my place either but since we’re heading downtown, I’ll come get you. As long as that’s ok with you? I know the kids are home and you might not want to be seen with me.’

Nick [7:45] : ‘Charlie, why would I not want to be seen with you? Honestly, other than my kids, you're basically my favorite person. Why wouldn’t I want my kids to see me with my favorite person?’

Oh God this man was going to be the death of him. How was he so kind and free with his affection towards Charlie? Did he not know what he was doing to him?

Charlie [7:47] : ‘God Nick, save something for the wedding vows’ 😜

Nick [7:48] : ‘lol. OK but seriously, I am happy to have you pick me up. What time should I be ready?’

Charlie [7:50] : ‘8:30? Gives us enough time to drive down and park and join the group. If we’re late, they leave without us and the route is a bit different every time so we would be fucked.’

Nick [7:52] : 👍‘See you then xx’

Nick had started leaving ‘xx’ at the end of every conversation they had and Charlie had just gone with it, allowing himself to dream Nick actually meant what they symbolized. He sighed and replied with his own.

Charlie [7:52] : ‘xx’ 

Given the temperature, Charlie selected form-fitting running pants with loose shorts over them and a similar situation on his upper body. He collected his thin gloves and comfortable beanie and a small water bottle. Even though it was cold, he didn’t want to dehydrate. After checking he looked alright in the mirror, he texted Nick that he was on his way, to which Nick replied with a heart emoji and Charlie melted. He secured his wallet in his running pack and grabbed his keys before making his way to his car.

On the way, he gripped the steering wheel tightly and fought not to panic, knowing he was going to be in an enclosed space with Nick soon. He planned to just tease and flirt to mask his nerves, it had worked for him so far, he thought, as Nick always gave it right back to him now that he had relaxed around Charlie. He pulled up to Nick’s house, noting how beautiful the front flower garden likely was in the summer, and wondered if he should honk the horn or go up to the door? Or text Nick that he was here? He looped around the options in his head too long because a minute later, Nick came bounding out the front door, shouting something unintelligible to his kids inside. Charlie thought it was something to do with walking the dog and emptying the dishwasher but he couldn’t be sure.

He was already dazed at the sight of Nick in tight running attire like his although he seemed to have forgotten any gloves or a hat. His heart stopped, and then raced forward in overtime and he cracked up at the shirt Nick was wearing. Charlie immediately wanted to hope it meant something but he was sure it was just because Nick loved the show. Nick’s shirt proudly stated across the chest a popular quote from Schitt’s Creek: “I like the wine, not the label.” Oh, if only that were true, Charlie hoped. If nothing else, it was a perfect shirt to wear to a queer running club. 

He was still cackling at the shirt when Nick climbed in next to him, reaching his hand over to squeeze Charlie on the knee while he got himself situated. Charlie stared at Nick’s hand on his leg and closed his eyes tight and thought of the most disgusting extraction he’d ever performed, struggling to stop his body from viscerally reacting to the proximity of Nick’s hand to another place he’d really like it to go. Nick must have seen his reaction because he snapped his hand back and apologized profusely for touching Charlie without his permission. 

“Oh my God, Charlie, I’m so sorry, that was so wrong for me to do that. I just, I wanted to hug you but that’s awkward in a car and so I…God, I’m so so sorry.”

Charlie’s eyes popped open and he looked quickly into Nick’s anxious eyes.

“No Nick! It’s alright. I was just…affected by your hand there,” he admitted sheepishly, looking up at Nick through his dark lashes.

Nick blushed brilliantly all the way to his ears at Charlie’s words and stumbled over further apologies before Charlie reached over and placed a single finger on Nick’s lips to silence him. Nick’s breath quickened under his touch and, staring into each other’s eyes, Charlie slowly pulled his finger away, slightly dragging Nick’s lip with it. 

“Shhhh, it’s fine,” Charlie whispered, short of breath now himself.

A sharp rap on the window startled them both out of their trance and Nick, eyes wide, opened his door to the young girl standing there who Charlie assumed must have been his daughter. She was holding the leash attached to a beautiful golden retriever and appeared to be heading out on a walk. 

“Papa?” she asked, “uh, I thought you were leaving. Why are you just sitting out here?”

“Oh yeah, sweetie, we’re going now. Just couldn’t get my seat belt buckled correctly,” he laughed at himself. She smiled and waved as she walked away, dragging the dog with her. “Come on Daisy! Have fun, Papa! Love you!”

Nick closed the door again and took a deep breath before reaching behind him to secure his seat belt. He glanced at Charlie who gave him a small smile and then put the car in gear. Charlie’s heart was still pounding at their exchange but he forced himself to focus on his driving. After a minute, a new song started on Charlie’s playlist and they both started singing along and soon the spell from earlier was broken and they relaxed into their time together. 

“I like your shirt, by the way. One of the best quotes of the entire series. Only beat by ‘Ew, David!’ and ‘Fold in the cheese’,” Charlie laughed.

“Yeah, it's one of my favorites. Best way to describe pansexuality in my opinion,” Nick agreed. 

They bantered back and forth, talking more about the show and about other favorites they had, giving each other new recommendations. 

They arrived just in time and joined the group for the introduction round before taking off for the run. Charlie noticed several of the other guys eyeing Nick with appreciation and felt a hot surge of possessiveness which was completely unwarranted, especially because as far as he knew, despite all these little things he’d seen, Nick was straight. (So let them ogle, it won’t get them anywhere more than it will me I guess). He and Nick ran the route together, Charlie slowing his normally faster pace in order to keep tempo with Nick.

“Oh Nick, I forgot to tell you. The band gig got cancelled for tonight, our lead guitarist is sick so it’s been rescheduled to next week. So you don’t have to come tonight after all.”

Nick looked so disappointed before saying, “Oh, that’s too bad. I was looking forward to it. Can I come next week? Is it still at the same place?”

Charlie nodded while he ran and said “Yeah, same place, same time, 8 pm. Uh, it's also, kind of, my birthday that night. So, Isaac, Tori and Michael and my other best friends from school Tao and Elle are coming up from LA at the last minute to see me and will all be there.”

“That’s so cool for you! Also! Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday so soon?” Nick huffed as he tried to talk while running.

Charlie, not out of breath at all, just shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t usually like to make a big fuss but since Elle and Tao - I think I’ve told you about them? - were able to come up for the week, we decided to make it a thing…I really hope you’ll come though. I’d like you to be there.”

Nick nodded and reassured Charlie he wanted to attend and Charlie sighed with relief. He had really been looking forward to showing off on the drums for Nick and then maybe have a few drinks in a gay setting with him, and see what might come of it.

“That actually works better for me anyways,” Nick struggled to get out, “the kids are with Imogen so I can stay out later and not be responsible for them when I get back.”

“You OK? You seem to be a bit out of breath, should we slow down more or walk the rest of the way? We’re almost to the end,” Charlie asked Nick in concern. 

“Ummm, yeah, can we just walk the rest?” 

“Sure,” he said as he slowed immediately and Nick took several labored deep breaths and laughed at himself. 

“I guess I really do need to do this more often. I’m out of shape and I’m supposed to start coaching the select team soon so I should set a good example. I guess you’re stuck with me every week now.”

Charlie fanned his hand out over his chest and pretended to faint, gasped softly and said, “Oh no, however will I survive spending so much time with my favorite person?” He stared right at Nick as he said this, watching his reaction and wasn’t disappointed when Nick’s pupils darkened and his breathing ratched up again. They both laughed breathlessly and continued strolling along the river path back to the coffee shop that was their meeting place, their hands grazing each other occasionally as they walked but neither commented on it. Charlie felt like every nerve ending was alight at Nick’s proximity, his body giving off warmth even when they weren’t actually touching. 

When they arrived back at the cafe, Nick went in to purchase their coffees, insisting it was his turn to buy for them, so Charlie could visit with some of his friends who had beat them back. He was instantly bombarded with questions about Nick and their relationship which he struggled to answer because even he was really starting to wonder what was going on with them. He settled on just saying they’d recently met and were getting to know each other, which was true but just not the whole truth of how they were getting to know each other. Charlie wanted to be more than friends, but did Nick? 

Before his thoughts could really take off on him, Nick arrived with his coffee, somehow having remembered his order exactly even though they’d only had coffee together one time before this. That was just the kind of guy Nick was, he paid attention to the little things, and then showed his care by recalling them for later. Charlie shook his head and smiled into his coffee, in awe of how lucky he was to be in Nick's orbit. They mingled with some of the other guys he knew and Charlie introduced Nick to the group. He slid into conversations effortlessly, not seeming to feel awkward or out of place, he acted like he belonged here among them. (Maybe he does), Charlie dared to hope maybe he wasn’t misreading all these signals. If only Nick would come right out and tell him how he identified, then he could either pull away to protect himself and just remain casual friends, or he could dive headfirst into getting to know Nick to see where it would go.

His spine tingled as he thought of what it would feel like to hear Nick declare himself queer, his eyebrows drew in as he contemplated what he might say. That same niggling feeling came over him again but no matter how he tried, no matter how often he had thought through their previous conversations, he couldn’t pinpoint anytime Nick had said anything specifically about himself in that regard other than about his ex-wife so Charlie was left to assume he was straight, without Nick having said anything to the contrary. And he was determined to wait on Nick to take that step, he wouldn’t ask, not unless he felt completely at the end of his rope with pining.

The group began to disperse so Nick and Charlie made their way back to Charlie’s car. He drove them in peaceful silence, both listening to the music and deep in thought.

“I really liked that group of people Charlie, thank you for inviting me. I’m so glad to have found something where I can feel so at ease.”

“You’re so welcome Nick, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Don’t worry, we’ll have you able to complete the whole course before summer season starts,” he teased.

“Hey!” Nick poked him in the side, causing Charlie to screech, “I’m driving here Nick!”

They laughed and Nick retreated and the comfortable silence descended again. 

“Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for giving me barely any time to get you a birthday present.”

Charlie barked out a laugh, as that was the last thing he expected Nick to say.

“You don’t have to get me a present,” he smiled over at Nick.

“Oh I’m gonna. I love giving gifts.”

Charlie tried not to smile at the idea of Nick selecting something for him. (Jesus Christ, his poor heart. Really, the only gift he wanted was Nick himself…)

They arrived back at Nick’s house, turning towards each other for an awkward hug across the seats and around Charlie’s seat belt. Charlie breathed in Nick's musky scent from the run and God, if he didn’t want to smell that heavenly fragrance for the rest of his life. He forced himself to pull back before he could do something stupid like confess his feelings or kiss Nick’s neck. Nick smiled shyly at him as he climbed out of the car.

“Bye Charlie, see you next week.”

“Bye Nick.”

Once Nick was securely in his house, Charlie pulled away and drove home, his mind racing in circles around the entire morning. From the flirty texts before he picked him up to whatever that was with the hand on his knee and Charlie’s finger on Nick’s mouth, to the conversations they had during the run and on the drive home, Charlie’s hope that maybe Nick did like him like Charlie liked him had taken wing. (He has a pansexual Schitt’s Creek shirt for God’s sake, so maybe he’s pan… ) but that didn’t feel right to Charlie and he didn’t know why. He thought back, way back to their first proper conversation when Nick was talking about his kids with such pride that it had brought tears to Charlie’s eyes. The way he loved and supported his trans son and his youngest son who was also bisexual. 

Charlie’s breath left him in a rush as all the dots connected, everything he had been trying to remember all hanging on that tiny little word Nick had uttered while bragging about his kids. “Also” “Also bisexual” (Did that mean???) Did that mean that he, Nick, was also bisexual and he’d thought Charlie had just known all this time because as far as Nick was concerned, he had told Charlie? His mind raced back through everything that had happened between them, everything Nick had said that Charlie had dismissed, and suddenly, it all seemed so clear to him. Nick was bisexual, which meant Charlie had a chance with him. But was Nick actually attracted to him or was he allowing himself to hope when he shouldn’t? And instantly, he was right back where he started because he still needed to know how Nick felt about him, regardless of his sexuality. Charlie wasn’t sure he could wait much longer before he would have given too much of his heart away again… (by my birthday. I’ll talk to him by then, if he hasn’t said anything first). He could survive that long, he was fairly certain he could.

Chapter Text

Nick

The time Nick had spent with Charlie on Saturday invigorated him in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He was surprised to find he had the motivation to take on chores around the house that he hadn’t wanted to work on since the divorce, and so, after a late lunch with the kids, he took out a pad of paper and pen (he knew it was old school, but so was he!) and started listing the projects that needed work and placed them in order of importance. He knew he functioned best when he had a list to work off of, especially when the individual tasks were in manageable time chunks so he could have the satisfaction of completion before he moved on to the next job. He made multiple lists this time - one for the indoor chores, another for the outdoor projects and another for his work-related tasks. 

He decided since the weather was still nice that afternoon it made sense to start getting the garden ready to plant their vegetables, which they would need to do within the next month otherwise the growing season wouldn’t be long enough. He loved his vegetable and fruit garden as well as the wildflower meadows he had meticulously planted and tended in the ten years they had owned this house. It had ended up being one of the few common interests he and Imogen had held throughout the marriage and even into the divorce. This would be the second summer  they had shared the house without living in it together, and it had worked fine so far. He texted Imogen to let her know he was going to start cleaning the yard and gardens for the spring and summer planting and called out to the kids to get into their yard-work clothes and come outside to help for an hour. They grumbled because, of course, they were teenagers who would rather be on their devices all day, but after a couple minutes, he heard the sounds of them getting ready to join him. 

He put on his work gloves, a warm vest over his sweatshirt, and his work boots and headed to the raised vegetable beds, pushing the wheelbarrow in front of him to put all the old plants into to take to the compost pile. He began to rake up and collect all the dead foliage from the plots where he had grown broccoli, lettuce, potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes and a host of other fresh vegetables his family loved to eat. He had just finished the previous years’ green bean patch clean up when Matt (of course it was Matt who would come out first) arrived and asked what he could do to help.

He assigned Matt the task of using the lawn mower to flatten the wildflower bed out, which allowed the previous seed pods to reseed and the plants to more easily break down into new soil for the garden. Matt nodded and trudged to the garage to get the lawn mower. Niles and Heidi trailed out behind him when he returned, looking much less enthused about spending their Saturday in the garden. 

“Right, so Niles your job is to collect all of Daisy's poop that you can find in the garden area and the clover lawn. You can leave the area in the dog run because we don’t walk around there much so it’s not such an issue. Be careful not to step in any, and check your shoes before you go back inside! That’s the last thing we want is to have to smell dog poop in the house.”

Niles sighed and returned to the garage for the poop shovel and the garbage can to collect it all in. (At least he didn’t complain this time) . He turned to Heidi and asked her to rake the pine needles and pine cones from the front lawn and collect them into the green yard bin. She rolled her eyes at him and stomped off to the front yard, acting every bit the early teenage girl she was. Nick took a deep breath and tried to remember that he did love them, even when they made it hard sometimes.

They spent the next hour completing their various roles and he felt satisfied in the work they’d done so he made them all hot chocolate and cookies as a thank you for having helped with the yard work. While they all took turns in the shower, Nick started some of his grading from the week and wrote a quiz for the first year class they would take on Tuesday. He pulled his lists over to him, crossed off the items they had finished and, inspired to share his joy at his accomplishments for the day, took a photo and sent it to Charlie with the caption ‘the best morning followed by a productive afternoon’ which Charlie immediately heart-reacted to and Nick saw the floating three dots indicating Charlie was typing a response to him.

Charlie [3:15] : ‘Nick, you have four children. Please do not tell me that a sweaty morning running with me was better than the hundreds of mornings you have spent with them’

Nick [3:17] : ‘Fair point…counterpoint, you did not wake me up at the crack of dawn, throw up on me, pee on the floor or jump on my junk to make me get out of bed. Those are the kind of mornings you have as a parent, so today can at least qualify as “one of the best” mornings I’ve ever had’

Charlie [3:20] : ‘Well, I guess I know how to act if I’m ever lucky enough to be at your house in the morning…’ 😉

Nick gasped in shock at the implication of Charlie at his house in the morning, hopefully not in any of those situations, except for maybe the last one…just with different connotations…

Nick [3:22] : ‘You've been warned.’ 😛

Nick [5:29] : ‘What are you up to for the rest of your weekend?’

While he waited for Charlie to respond, Nick called upstairs to the kids, where their bedrooms were, and asked what they wanted him to make for dinner. Various ideas were thrown at him but he chose to go for the easiest today, since they were all tired after the yard work, and decided to order pizza. He’d cook something from scratch tomorrow, he reasoned, to make up for his laziness tonight. He pulled the Domino’s app up on his phone and ordered their usual cheese and vegetable pizzas and some cheesy bread and even opted for delivery, just to save himself the trip out of the house again.

Charlie [5:35] : ‘A date with my book, a cozy blanket and a cup of tea are my big plans for the night since the show got cancelled. I don’t really do well with making last minute plans very often and I’ve had my share of those these past couple weeks.’

Nick’s heart squeezed uncomfortably in his chest. Had he been responsible for those last minute changes and was causing Charlie stress? That was the last thing he wanted, especially when it came to Charlie, he wanted to give him every good thing and not make his life harder. He sighed, disappointed in himself for not recognizing he was overdoing it.

Nick [5:40] : ‘I’m so sorry I’ve messed up your schedule a few times Charlie, that wasn’t my intention. Do you need me to back off a bit? Am I stressing you out?’

Charlie [5:41] : ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT! I have loved all the times we’ve spent together and I really look forward to more of it. My brain just needs a night of downtime, that’s all. You DIDN’T do anything wrong, if that’s what you are worried about.’

Nick took a deep breath and forced his heart to stop racing so fast. It was OK, Charlie wasn’t upset with him or anything, he just needed to recharge his battery, something Nick could relate to. He sent a smiley and hugging emoji back to Charlie and then wished him a good night with his book and his tea. Now that he thought of it, that kind of night sounded just like what he needed as well but he’d settle for pizza and a movie night with the kids. 

Daisy started barking like crazy and moments later, there was a knock at the door with the pizza delivery already arrived. Time passed so quickly when Nick was distracted messaging or thinking about Charlie, which was becoming more and more the focus of Nick’s days. 

“Pizza’s here!” The kids raced downstairs and helped themselves to plates of food and settled on the various sofas in the living room in front of the TV to watch a movie together. The pizza was delicious and Nick realized how hungry he had been when he saw how much he had eaten and how full he felt having overdone it. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and cuddled Heidi next to him. There was a birthday party in the movie, with all sorts of silly shenanigans, but all Nick could think about was Charlie’s birthday party next weekend. 

He was so excited to see Charlie perform with his band, his mind conjuring thoughts of him in fitted jeans with a ripped t-shirt and sweat running down his face as he banged out the beat, but he was nervous about the birthday gift, and meeting Charlie’s best friends. It seemed like the two events were sort of a test and if he didn’t pass, he would ruin his chances with Charlie forever. He loved gift giving so he really wanted to think of the perfect gift to give Charlie this year on his 40th birthday, the first of which he already hoped to be many birthdays they would spend together. He racked his brain of what he could give him that he would like but also find useful. He didn’t picture Charlie being an overly sentimental person like he was so he wanted to find the perfect balance.

He realized he had totally lost the plot of the movie as the credits began to roll and the kids made their way to their respective bedrooms to sleep for the night. Once they had all brushed their teeth and climbed into bed, he went into each room to say goodnight and thanked them again for their help in the yard. His mind and body were also tired so he let Daisy out to do her business while he brushed his own teeth and sent a message to Charlie.

Nick [9:45] : ‘Just finished pizza and movie night with the kids, couldn’t tell you the plot of the movie though because I can’t stop thinking about seeing you perform next week. I bet you look really hot behind the drums.’

He opened the door to let Daisy back in and walked through the house, checked the locks and turned off lights and then climbed into his own bed. Charlie still hadn't seen the message; Nick figured he was probably already asleep but sent another quick one to say goodnight.

Nick [9:53] : ‘Night Charlie, I hope you sleep and dream well. xx’

Nick rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around the extra pillow in his bed, feeling the need for a bit of comfort for his anxiety but also so he could imagine he was holding Charlie in his arms as he drifted off to sleep.

The dream faded slowly and Nick woke, gasping and shuddering, his body wracked with a pleasure he hadn’t experienced since his college years, when his body had released the build up of sexual pressure in his sleep whenever he was between partners and had denied himself self-gratification. His mind tried desperately to hold onto the tendrils of the dream as they floated away like leaves on the wind. He had been with Charlie, this much he was sure of, the remnants of the sensation of his curls through his fingers and their lips touching as they had held each other lingered as Nick came to full consciousness. He shivered as more of the dream came back to him, he remembered the heat in their eyes as they had undressed each other and the affection that was poured out when they touched. 

Nick exhaled heavily as his body relaxed and soon he was aware of the sticky situation he had in his boxer briefs. He was so grateful he slept in pajamas since the kids were born, instead of just in his underwear or in the nude as he had done prior to their arrivals, it made the cleanup so much easier. He almost couldn’t believe this had happened now, after so many years, but it just served to emphasize to Nick the depth of his attraction to Charlie in every way. He found he really wanted that dream to come true and he hoped Charlie did too. Although he knew, from experience, that he needed to make sure they were on the same page about all of that before anything could go any further for him. His past with Imogen, although not her fault, had caused a lot of struggle for both of them in this area and he didn’t think he could go through feeling like he did back then again. It was a discussion he knew he needed to have with any potential partners and the thought intimidated him greatly. 

He changed into clean pajamas and crawled back into bed. He wondered if he should be embarrassed that he had had a wet dream about Charlie and whether it would make him even more self conscious in front of him when he saw him on Saturday. He knew the answer was probably yes but he’d have to deal with that when it happened. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to wander to Charlie and all he knew about him, the things he liked and was passionate about, when suddenly the idea struck for a sentimental but also practical birthday gift. His best friend, and one of his kids’ godparents, Tara, owned a custom sign making business where people could go to parties and paint individual sign boards with names or sayings on them. She also took online special orders and made them herself for pick up. He grinned widely to himself, the idea of what he would have made for Charlie growing in his head. He couldn’t wait until Saturday.

The week passed in a blur of school, baseball practices and two games, lesson planning and grading, and the daily responsibilities of being a parent. In some ways, having teenagers was easier than, say, toddlers, because they could feed themselves if necessary and were capable of cleaning up after themselves (mostly). But as a single parent every other week, Nick was solely responsible for all of it, from the meals to the laundry and cleaning, to the emotional roller coaster that was the teenage brain. At least twenty times a day, Nick was terrified he was screwing up his kids' lives and they would grow up hating him and needing therapy to deal with the trauma he had imposed on them. It wasn’t logical, but it’s how he felt.

He and Charlie messaged throughout the week, both of them starting to open up about more serious topics that they had largely avoided in the first couple of weeks. Nick mentioned how his dad having left him and his brother had been largely responsible for his and Imogen’s attempt at an unconventional divorce and Charlie alluded to hard times as a gay teen when he was bullied at school. Messaging wasn’t the best method for this kind of conversation though so they just skimmed the surface of the heavy topics, with the intention to come back to them later in person. Nick felt like he could tell Charlie anything though. He was surprised by how at ease and safe he felt with him; it had taken him and Imogen years to get to this level of honest communication. 

There was always another layer beneath their conversations, even the serious ones, as though an undercurrent flowed around them, pulling them together, and stirring up long dormant feelings. Nick tried so hard to make it obvious to Charlie how he felt about him without actually coming right out and saying it; he hoped Charlie had picked up on all his flirting and that he understood it to be an indication of Nick's interest in him romantically. He’d already come out to Charlie as bisexual that day at the office so he must know Nick was also into men. Nick worried though, that he was just way more into Charlie than Charlie was into him, and he had to work so hard not to spiral about that concern on a daily basis.

On Saturday afternoon, Nick was a bundle of nerves about the party at Pink Pony that night. He drove to Tara’s shop to pick up the present he had had her make for Charlie, and was thrilled at the result. He really hoped Charlie liked it. Tara, his oldest friend and confidant, was very interested to hear all about Charlie and Nick’s new friendship and immediately wanted to meet him. 

“Hey, didn’t you say he’s playing at Pink Pony tonight?” Tara asked. “Maybe Darcy and I can come and see the show as well! We don’t have to party-crash but just, you know, go to the same bar at the same time as you.”

Nick hesitated, knowing it might make Charlie feel nervous to meet his friends without warning so he compromised with Tara and told her, “I think that should be alright but let me check with him first. I get the feeling that sudden changes like that might not be the best move.”

Tara understood completely, “Of course Nick. That makes sense. Just let me know. Darce works at the clinic until 5 so we’d be able to get there by 8 for the show. They’d love to see you by the way, it’s been a minute since we’ve hung out.”

Nick nodded and apologized for his crazy schedule and promised to be a better friend, especially once the school year ended. Tara hugged him as he left, said she hoped Charlie loved the gift and she was looking forward to the show, if it was ok for them to come.

When Nick was settled in his car, he pulled out his phone to text Charlie to ask him about Tara and Darcy coming to the show. He didn’t want to impose it on him but he thought it would be a nice way for their friend groups to meet, since he hoped they would become “their” friend group eventually.

Nick [2:40] : ‘Char, so you know I mentioned the kids’ godparents, my best friends Tara and Darcy? I just ran into Tara and she was thinking about coming to Pink tonight to see the show and have the chance to meet you, but I wanted to check in with you first before I agreed. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or put on the spot to meet them at your own party.’

Nick clicked his phone shut and started the car for the short drive home to wrap Charlie’s present and finish his weekend schoolwork since he expected to be a bit worse for wear tomorrow after going to a bar for the first time in years. He’d switched up his weekly shopping and done it that morning and had regretted the time it took so he vowed to stick to Sunday mornings from here on in. When he got back to the apartment, he had a new message from Charlie.

Charlie [2:52] : ‘Thanks so much for asking Nick, that is really considerate of you. 😍 Yeah, I think that would be fine. It's just a casual thing anyways, not like a function with a schedule or anything. Maybe I’ll be able to pull some embarrassing Nick Nelson as a teen stories from them lol’

Nick [3:08] : ‘Charlie! No bombarding my friends with questions about awkward, pimpled, disaster bisexual me, I am not sure you would want to know me after that!’

Charlie [3:12] : ‘......’

Charlie [3:16] : ‘I would always want to know you Nick, even if you still were an awkward, pimpled, disaster bisexual.’

Nick [3:17] : ❤️ ‘same xx’

Nick [3:20] : ‘So, the show? Is it ok for them to come?’

Charlie [3:21] : 👍 ‘can’t wait to see you’

Nick [3:25] : ‘A week has felt like a long time. Is it weird that I miss you, even though we talk every day?’

Charlie [3:26] : ‘Jeez, Nick, what? Are you obsessed with me or something?’ 😉

Nick [3:28] : ‘Maybe I am…that OK?’

Charlie [3:29] : ‘VERY OK.’

Charlie [3:40] : ‘Have to get ready to go now so I can get there early to set up. See you later!’ ❤️

Nick [3:41] : ❤️

Nick texted Tara the details about the night, saying he would meet them down there and save them a seat. He spent an hour finishing up his school stuff and then made himself a sandwich and chips for dinner, not wanting to eat too much but wanting enough in his stomach so the alcohol he planned to drink wouldn’t hit him too fast. He read on his iPad while he ate and got caught up in it, and nearly lost track of time. He had to take a hurried shower and carefully shaved and brushed his teeth. His hair didn’t want to cooperate with him today so he decided he was going for the wind tousled look and went to his closet to decide what to wear. He didn’t want to just be Teacher Nick tonight, he wanted to look good, he wanted to impress Charlie and his friends. God, he wanted Charlie to want him like he wanted Charlie.

He finally settled on a pair of jeans that fit a bit snug in the ass and thighs but were still comfortable, and a simple tight white t-shirt with a thin black jacket over it. On the lapel of his jacket, he carefully affixed his “I’m bi, actually” pin, something he unfortunately felt the need to wear in lots of queer spaces because most people assumed he was straight. He thought about sending a pic of himself to Charlie but then decided that might be a bit much, and he'd rather see his reaction in person, to gauge Charlie’s interest in him. They had basically admitted they liked each other in round about ways but neither of them had just come directly out to say it or confirm it. He hoped he would have the guts to approach the topic with Charlie tonight.

He packed Charlie’s present into the back seat of the car, knowing he’d have to bring Charlie out to his car to give it to him, and checked he had his wallet, ID and credit card, and drove downtown to Pink Pony Club. Miraculously for a Saturday night, he found a spot in the lot right next to the bar, paid the parking fee, locked the car and headed for the entrance. 

Once inside, his eyes scanned the room, looking for Charlie. Instead he spotted Tara and Darcy waving to him so he headed over to their table to greet them. They hugged and  chatted for a couple minutes before Darcy jumped in. 

“Nick! Where is this new man Tara has told me about? I need to meet him immediately! His name is Charlie right?”

At that, a tall woman with long braids at the neighboring table looked over at them, leaned towards them and asked, “Are you Nick, by chance?”

“Uh, uh yeah I am…sorry, how did you know that?” Nick sputtered in surprise.

“I’m Elle and this is Tao,” she said, indicating a tall man in a beanie sitting next to her, nursing what appeared to be a gin and tonic. “We’re Charlie’s friends. He said you and a few friends were meeting us here.”

“Oh my god! Yes, sorry…god, I’m so awkward,” Nick grimaced and stretched his hand out to shake both of theirs. “I’m Nick Nelson, and these are my best friends Tara and her partner Darcy. It’s so nice to meet you guys.”

Tao shook his hand firmly and held on a second longer while he looked Nick directly in the eyes, “Nice to meet you. I hope you know how amazing Charlie is, and treat him well. He deserves it.” Elle continued to smile kindly at him and nodded her agreement, “I’m sure he will Tao.” Apparently satisfied, Tao let go of him and smiled before inviting him to sit down. 

“Isaac should be here soon and the band is going on in about 20 minutes. Charlie should be around here somewhere but if you want to get a drink, he’ll probably come by our table for a bit before the show.”

Nick nodded and turned around to head towards the crowded bar, hoping he’d be able to get his drink and be back to the table in time to not miss Charlie. The crowd parted a bit for him as made his way through, the advantage of being tall and broad helped him in these situations, and he was suddenly struck immobile at the sight of Charlie across the room, looking hotter than he could have imagined in his ripped jeans, black tee and converse with fucking eyeliner around his stunning blue-grey eyes.

All thoughts had left his mind, save one. (FUCK…)  

Chapter Text

Charlie

The club was crowded and Charlie was nervous. Not about the show, he had performed in front of significantly larger crowds than this in the past and he knew their set list like the back of his hand so he was confident they would sound fine, good even. He loved his bandmates; they had performed together way back in high school and in the summers throughout college and, after they reconnected for a jam session following their 10 year reunion, decided to start booking some gigs when they had time and there was interest in them. A couple of years later, after only performing the occasional show since they had reformed the band, Jessie, the lead guitarist, had been at Pink Pony with his boyfriend and overheard they wanted to start having live music on Saturdays and had booked their band, Queer Intentions, once a month since. They mostly played 70s and 80s covers because it’s what they loved and it was good dance music for a club. 

So, yeah, Charlie wasn’t nervous about the performance since this was a typical night out for him on the drums, what he was nervous about was Nick. Nick was coming to Pink tonight and the butterflies in his stomach fluttered with an intensity he hadn’t known in a while. Since he had finally put it together last weekend that Nick had come out to him as bisexual at the crown appointment, he knew now it was only a matter of time before he would have to address this thing between them, to see if Nick felt like he did or if he really did just want to be friends. Which would be OK with Charlie, if that’s what Nick wanted…he would be alright with that if he had to, if it meant he was able to keep Nick in his life.

To soothe his anxiety and loosen himself up for the gig, Charlie ordered a rum and Coke at the bar and had the bartender refill his water bottle for him to stow behind his drum set on the small stage in the corner of the room. He had 15 minutes until he needed to be on stage so he decided to find Elle and Tao among the crowd since they had texted 10 minutes ago that they had arrived and would see him after the show if he couldn’t get away before then. His drink in hand, he shoved his way through the throng of people, ignoring the looks of interest he received every time he wore his clubbing clothes and eyeliner, until he could see the raised tables around the edge of the club, where he suspected Elle and Tao would plan to congregate with Isaac, and hopefully Nick and his friends. He scanned the tables and saw Elle across the room but she couldn’t see him from her vantage point.

Sighing at the gauntlet of gays he would have to survive to reach his friends, he began to make his way in their direction when the crowd parted slightly in front of him, the way to their table now more clear and he stopped short at the sight in front of him. Nicholas Nelson. Wearing the hottest, ass-hugging jeans Charlie had ever seen and a simple white tee with black jacket over it, his floppy sandy brown hair tousled in just the right way, his cheeks flushed pink causing his freckles to stand out like stars in a dark sky. Charlie felt like his brain was malfunctioning and he could no longer see anything else around him, save for the gorgeous man standing there staring at Charlie in the same manner.

Charlie’s lip parted in a small smirk when he saw Nick’s lips form a single word, “Fuck…”, knowing he had achieved the reaction he had hoped for from Nick tonight. There was no way that Nick would be looking at him like that , if he didn’t also have feelings for Charlie, or, at the very least, lust for Charlie, but he had a suspicion it went beyond sex between them. Although seeing Nick here, in a gay bar, brought on a whole host of ideas in Charlie’s head that he would like to do with Nick, his own lust was absolutely a factor he’d need to deal with eventually.

Snapping out of his reverie, Charlie hurried over to Nick who, in turn, moved towards Charlie until they met in the middle of the room, pausing to take each other in closer up before Nick wrapped his arms around Charlie and lifted him off the ground. 

“Happy birthday Charlie! I’m so glad I found you before you perform! God, you look so fucking hot,” he murmured into Charlie’s ear.

Charlie shivered at the feeling of Nick’s warm breath and squeezed him tight. “Thanks. You, you look…amazing. I’m so happy you are here tonight. I’ve been thinking about you all week,” he said, pulling away slightly to look into Nick’s eyes. Afraid he might drown in them, he stepped back a bit but kept his arms on Nick’s shoulders so they wouldn’t be shoved apart by the crowd. His fingers traced the lines of Nick’s simple black jacket, settling on the bi pride pin, and he smiled up at Nick in acknowledgement of it. “Subtle, Nick, real subtle,” he teased. Nick opened his mouth to protest but at that moment, Charlie’s phone buzzed from his back pocket, alerting him to head to the stage.

“I have to go,” he pointed towards the small stage in the corner near where he had seen Elle sitting. “That’s my friend Elle, over there, the one with the braids? Her husband is probably nearby, he’ll be wearing a beanie so he’s easy to spot. You could go sit with them?” Charlie encouraged Nick.

“Oh! Yeah, I know, I’ve met them actually. Funny story but, they were sitting next to my friends Tara and Darcy and when I got here, we kind of made the connection to you. I was just heading to the bar for a drink before the show, they all already have one…except Isaac who’s not here yet…I should grab him one while I’m there, do you know what he likes?”

“He isn’t a big drinker honestly so maybe just an IPA? He’ll take all night to drink just the one,” Charlie chuckled.

Nick nodded. “Perfect. I can do that.”

Charlie eased away with a small wave and a smile, “I’ll see you after? Don’t leave OK?”

“Never. I’ll be here as long as you are,” Nick said bashfully.

He turned and headed towards the stage with purpose now, he didn’t want to be late to start the show. The crowd was really boisterous tonight - a vibrant energy flowed through the club and Charlie could tell it was going to be a stellar concert. Having reached the stage without incident, he greeted his bandmates again and took his place behind the drums, picking up his sticks as he sat. After they were satisfied that they were tuned and ready, Jessie leaned into his mic and greeted the crowd, asking if they were ready to rock. Their enthusiasm was catching and Charlie felt the adrenaline buzz he always experienced while drumming in front of an audience. He smiled, eyes scanning the large group on the dance floor and the surrounding tables, until he spied the neighboring tables where Nick and his friends were sitting and cheering him on. 

At Jessie’s nod to Charlie, he held his sticks high above his head and counted them into the first song of the set list “Under Pressure”. Every few months when they performed at Pony, they curated an array of music by well-known queer artists to create a really special vibe to celebrate their icons. It was Charlie’s favorite of their set lists and had requested it for his birthday tonight.

They flowed from one song into the next effortlessly, their comfort level performing together created an electric production. There were a few slower songs mixed in with the bangers and the dance floor was packed during the entire concert. Charlie’s eyes were drawn constantly towards Nick and his friends, who were now standing in front of the tables, vibing to the music and chatting throughout the evening. Charlie couldn’t wait to join them, to spend time here, in his safe space, with Nick. He wanted to drink with him and press himself against Nick on the dance floor, he wanted to try and convey the depth of his feelings for Nick without scaring him off, because if Nick’s reaction to him earlier was any indication, Charlie was not alone in his feelings and he just couldn’t dance around it anymore.

The hour-long performance began to wrap up with their final song, the only modern one in their list, which the group had added in a nod to the host location and their new queen, Chappell Roan. The entire dance floor was hopping and singing along with the band as they sang “Pink Pony Club” with abandon and erupted into applause at the end. The band assembled at the front of the small stage for a quick round of bows before the DJ took over the music and, after hugging each other and wishing Charlie a happy birthday, dispersed into the crowd for their own night out. 

He had to elbow his way through the crowd again and gently deflect the offer of a drink or a dance from a couple of newcomers to the bar, the only ones who didn’t know Charlie didn’t want attention like that. He was greeted at the table with cheers, hugs and rounds of “happy birthday!” and he ducked his head shyly at the attention. Nick introduced him to Tara and Darcy who gushed with praise at his performance and then Nick pulled him to the side, away from their friends. He leaned closer to Charlie and asked him if they could go outside for a bit, somewhere quieter, so he could give him his birthday present. Charlie nodded with enthusiasm, he longed for some alone time with Nick and now was the perfect time as he was coming down from the high of the show.

Nick grabbed Charlie’s hand and weaved their way around the bodies dancing close, kissing and groping as they did so. People seemed to naturally make space for Nick’s broad frame to fit through and Charlie felt precious and treasured at the way Nick protectively led him along behind him. At the door, Charlie nodded to the bouncer, a guy he had known for years now and who felt personally responsible for Charlie’s safety, that he was leaving of his own accord and was alright.

The spring night air shocked them both at the temperature change and Charlie shivered slightly, only wearing his t-shirt still and his sweat-dampened skin felt cool. Nick, of course, noticed him subtly wrap his arms around himself to contain his body heat, and quickly shrugged out of his own jacket to give to Charlie. Charlie started to protest but the temptation to be wrapped in Nick’s delicious scent was too strong so he acquiesced. He pushed his arms through the long sleeves and took a deep breath of the heady aroma. He saw Nick smile broadly and reach for his hand again. 

“My car, it’s just that way, in the lot next door. Your present is in the back seat,” Nick said as he pointed up the street.

“OK, lead the way. I don't even remember your car to be honest.”

“Rude.”

They both laughed and talked softly as they made their way to the parking lot. Nick raved about his performance, saying again how hot he looked when he drummed, how he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off him the whole time. Charlie flushed hot with embarrassment; he definitely knew he wasn’t as special as Nick was making him out to be. He felt so overwhelmed with Nick’s kindness and full of hope that Nick might reciprocate his feelings; if not, he was the most enthusiastic friend Charlie had ever encountered. 

Nick stopped at a blue Toyota and patted his pockets and then looked sheepishly at Charlie, “I think the keys are in the pocket of my jacket.”

“Oh! Right!” Charlie exclaimed, shoving his hands into the pockets. He pulled out the key ring and handed it to Nick.

Nick suddenly appeared really nervous as he unlocked the car and leaned over, giving Charlie a gorgeous view of his ass in the process, retrieving the long, narrow package from the back seat. 

“What the…? What is that?” Charlie was stunned Nick had gotten him a present in the first place, but he’d thought maybe a nice pen or a book. He had no idea what this could be but he was so curious to find out. Nick shyly handed it over to Charlie, who felt along the wrapping, trying to determine what was inside. 

“Happy birthday Charlie. I had a really busy week so I didn’t have time to go out and get something for you so…” he gestured towards the package, “open it. I hope you like it.” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and Charlie reached over to squeeze his hand, recognizing Nick’s anxiety.

“I’m sure I’m going to love it, because it’s from you, no matter what it is,” Charlie tried to reassure him. 

Nick nodded slowly, shyly, and returned the pulse on his hand, before letting go so Charlie could open the gift.

He took a deep breath; Charlie felt like this was an important moment somehow, that where they went from here would be a journey neither of them had expected. He slid his fingers into the paper on both ends and enthusiastically tore off the paper and Nick grabbed at it, laughing as it fell to the ground. At first glance, it was simply a long, dark piece of wood but when Charlie looked closely, he saw the words “designed especially for you by Nick, with love” and his eyes immediately welled with tears. He glanced at Nick who smiled softly and said, “Turn it over, Charlie.”

With both hands, as it was long and a decent weight, Charlie slowly turned the wood plank over and gasped at the front of what he now knew to be a custom made wall hanging for his office. “Spring Family Smiles, Charles Francis Spring, DDS” it proudly stated, the words centered on the sign in grey and blue colors that perfectly matched the decor of his office. Charlie burst into tears. He couldn’t believe Nick had taken the trouble, no, the effort, to have something made that would mean so much to him, that Nick had put genuine thought into a gift for him instead of just buying something off the shelf. He was speechless, his heart hammering as he gently laid it on the back of the car before jumping into Nick’s arms.

“I can’t believe you did this. No one, and I mean, no one, has ever done anything so special for me before. Thank you so much,” Charlie whispered, his heart in his throat, overwhelmed by the depth of his emotions. He felt Nick’s arm circle tighter around him and he buried his face in Nick’s chest as he tried to stop his tears.

“Char?” Nick spoke so softly, Charlie almost wasn’t sure if he had imagined it.

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling back a little so he could see Nick’s face in the shadows of the streetlights. He took a deep breath; he knew this was the moment, the conversation he had been desperate for a week to have but had forced himself to wait for Nick’s timing. Somehow he knew, given Nick’s recent history, that he had needed to wait for Nick to make the move and now, he prayed that time had finally come.

“You know, you deserve to have someone treat you special, don’t you? You are literally the kindest, most thoughtful and caring person I have ever met. You are amazing and I am so lucky to know you. You are my favorite person.”

“Nick.” 

“God, Charlie, I like you so much I almost can’t stand it.”

“Nick.”

“And, I’d understand if I’m too much, if my having kids is too much, but Charlie…”

“NICK,” Charlie placed both hands on the sides of Nick’s face. “You are never too much, your kids are not too much, you are exactly right. You are perfect, just how you are, perfect for me, just how you are.”

Nick exhaled slowly and looked deeply into Charlie’s eyes. Charlie closed his and took a shuddering breath before he opened them again and bravely asked, “Nick, oh God, Nick, can I please kiss you now?”

Nick nodded with a small smile and Charlie gently caressed his cheek with his thumb as he leaned up and softly met his lips with his own. The first kiss was slow and gentle, with whispered sighs and parting lips, repeating over and over the affection they felt for each other. After several moments, Charlie lightly slid his tongue over Nick’s lower lip causing Nick to groan and pull Charlie closer to him, opening his mouth to allow him access. Charlie gasped and licked into Nick’s mouth, sliding his hands down over his shoulders and gripped tightly. Their tongues met hesitantly at first, tasting each other for the first time and Charlie had been right, Nick tasted like honey. Charlie leaned his entire body against Nick, flush from chest to waist, and held him tight as they deepened the kiss until they were both breathless with want and broke off, panting into each other’s mouths. He smiled slightly at Nick before kissing him one, two, three more times softly on his now-swollen lips. They sighed and Charlie knew it was over for him, this was the last first kiss he ever wanted to have. 

After, Charlie felt so invigorated that he really wanted to go back into the bar and party with Nick and his friends. He hadn’t seen them in months nor had he been out dancing in…he couldn’t even remember the last time. And he wanted to dance with Nick. So they resituated themselves, locked the wall hanging back into the car and walked back to Pink, holding hands and smiling at each other as they walked. Just before they entered the bar, Charlie stopped walking and tugged Nick to face him again, fiddling with his fingers nervously.

“Um Nick? It’s OK if you don’t want anyone to know about me…I would understand, given your family situation with Imogen and the kids and all…” Charlie hesitated, “I wouldn’t want to cause any problems for you.”

“Oh Charlie, no. I have nothing to hide. My family all know who I am, Imogen and the kids too. It’s not a secret and neither are you. I plan to talk to them about it next weekend, when it’s my week with them again. I was hoping, I mean, I am hoping I can introduce you to them? Like, as my boyfriend?”

Charlie giggled, “Your boyfriend? You want to be boyfriends Nick?”

Nick grimaced and rubbed his neck, “Well, uh, yeah…was that not obvious? I really want to be your boyfriend Charlie, as long as you want to be mine.”

Charlie couldn’t help himself, he jumped into Nick's arms again, wrapping his legs around his waist and kissed him thoroughly, breathlessly. 

“Yes Nick! God, I want to be your boyfriend more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life,” Charlie exclaimed. He knew it sounded dramatic and like something a teenager would say, but for him, in that moment, it was how he felt.

Charlie’s feet touched the ground as Nick lowered him from his waist and they turned to go in.

They spent the next couple of hours drinking, laughing with their friends and dancing against each other, sweat pouring off of them. Charlie loved to dance, even though he didn’t do it very often now, and felt so free with his arms in the air or around Nick, swaying or jumping to the beat. He was delightfully tipsy, just enough to feel good but not be sloppy or hungover tomorrow. 

Charlie got a ride home from Nick, who had stopped drinking four drinks before Charlie a couple of hours ago and had guzzled two large glasses of water. Charlie leaned on Nick up the stairs to his apartment, unlocked his door and shuffled his way to the bathroom to use the toilet and brush his teeth before climbing into bed. While he was occupied, Nick had apparently searched the kitchen for the water glasses and Tylenol, as both were now laid on his night stand. His heart lurched, amazed at the evidence of how much Nick cared about him. 

He smiled softly at Nick, “Do you want to stay? Just to cuddle and sleep? You don’t have the kids tonight and I’m a cuddly drunk.”

Nick hesitated only a second before he said, “Love to,” and went to get himself ready as well.

When Nick slipped into bed a few minutes later, smelling of toothpaste, he wrapped his arms around Charlie and quipped, “Good thing you’re a dentist, loads of extra toothbrushes in there.” Charlie giggled and cuddled himself deeper against Nick and softly kissed him before he nuzzled his face into his chest, certain that this was where he wanted to fall asleep for the rest of his life.

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick had absolutely not expected to fall this hard and fast for Charlie. When he had seen his picture on the website nearly a month ago, he had known he was attracted to Charlie physically but the depth of his feelings went so much further than that now. He had come to learn how kind Charlie was, seen how passionate he was about subjects that mattered to him, witnessed how much he cared about his family and friends. They shared so many similar interests and hobbies, but also were firmly involved in their own lives, which made their connection when they were together even stronger and provided endless topics of conversation for them to continue to get to know each other. Nick wanted to know and understand everything about Charlie, and now that he knew Charlie felt the same, he was thrilled at the prospect of where their relationship was going.

Which is why, when Charlie had asked Nick to stay the night with him, in a completely non-sexual way, Nick had only hesitated a fraction of a second before he heartily agreed, wanting to solidify this newfound closeness they felt after having declared their feelings to each other and decided to be boyfriends. He hadn’t planned on staying overnight together this early in their relationship but this, he realized, was a different kind of sleepover than the ones he had planned on waiting for. This was a night shared between boyfriends who were not yet lovers (but he hoped they eventually would be ), simply wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and the comfort of closeness.

When he could no longer avoid the many glasses of water he drank last night now filling his bladder, he gingerly climbed out of bed, trying not to disturb Charlie’s slumber, and padded his way to the bathroom across the hall. He quickly brushed his teeth with the extra toothbrush he had found under the sink last night before he made his way through the small apartment to the tiny kitchen. Feeling like Charlie probably wouldn’t mind him poking around to find the necessary items to start a pot of coffee, he located the ground beans and filters in the cupboard above the coffeemaker, filled it with water and turned it on to brew them a pot. 

While it percolated, he searched for some sort of bread to put in Charlie’s stomach before he took the likely necessary painkillers to combat his drinking choices the night before. When he found a loaf of bread, he popped two pieces in the toaster on the counter and searched for a plate and knife to spread some butter on it. He also tore a banana from the bunch in the fruit basket and placed it on the plate to go with the toast, knowing that Charlie ate a banana every morning. He grabbed two mugs and filled them both with coffee and, spotting and retrieving a breakfast tray above the fridge, laid them on it. He added the plate as well with the two pieces of toast and banana, which he had cut in half, and carried it all carefully back to Charlie’s bedroom.

As quietly as he could, he sat the tray on Charlie’s small bedside table before he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Charlie’s forehead and smoothed his curls away from his eyes. Charlie stirred in his sleep and blinked open, raised his lips in a small smile and murmured, “morning…” in a deep raspy voice that did things to Nick. He quickly cleared his throat before he could give away his arousal at the sound of Charlie in the morning, and repeated the greeting softly back to Charlie. 

“I’ve made you coffee, buttered toast and a half of a banana so you can take some meds for your head,” Nick quietly told Charlie, as he sat down next to where Charlie was stretched out and placed a hand on his leg.

“Where did you come from, Nick? You aren’t real,” Charlie said with awe in his voice. “None of my partners have ever taken care of me as well as you have in just the past 24 hours.”

“Then they weren’t the right partners, Charlie, because you deserve to be treated like this, and so much more.” Nick was heartbroken to hear how poorly Charlie had apparently been treated by his past boyfriends and resolved there would never be a time that Charlie would have to ever feel like that with him. “Do you think you can sit up and eat a bit? So you can take Tylenol? Are you feeling sick at all?”

Charlie pulled himself up to sit against the headboard and shook his head slightly, “No, just a bit of a headache. It’ll pass quickly though, I think. I haven’t drank that much in years, god. I hope I didn’t say anything too embarrassing…”

Nick laughed softly, conscious to keep the volume down, “No, you were a perfect gentleman. I had such a good time last night, the best actually.”

He thought back over their conversation outside at his car and in front of the club, and the way it had felt to dance with and hold Charlie close throughout the night. And the kisses, oh god, the kisses were so intense and full of longing and desire and…Nick shook himself before he started to harden and made Charlie uncomfortable. Self-consciously, just to make sure Charlie didn’t regret anything that happened between them, he quietly confirmed, “I hope you feel OK with everything we said and did last night, I would never want to overstep your boundaries or anything Charlie.”

“Nick. I am the one who asked to kiss you, literally threw myself into your arms, and ground against you all night on the dance floor. It was all perfect. But, I appreciate you checking in…are you, uh, regretting it?”

“No! God, Charlie, no. Not at all. I just…sorry, this is maybe not the time to have this conversation while you’re a bit hungover and haven't even had time to eat yet. Let’s just drink our coffee and then, maybe we can talk properly later? I feel like, maybe I need to tell you a bit more about what happened with Imogen? So you understand where I’m coming from, and you can decide whether being with me is something you really want to do?”

Nick hung his head, worried he had just totally fucked this up. He was so worried how the past and his insecurities were going to affect his relationships and he really didn’t want to have to even go into it, but also, he knew he had to be completely honest if they even had a hope of making it work. He steeled his resolve to not break down in front of Charlie and peeked back up at him. Charlie was looking at him with such compassion that Nick’s eyes welled up anyways, and he knew in that moment, it would be alright. Yes, they needed to have the conversation and probably many of them about other serious topics, but Charlie had him, Charlie wasn’t going anywhere, he could see it in his eyes. And that was all Nick needed to know.

Like an unspoken promise, they leaned into each other for a long kiss that expressed all the care and empathy they were feeling for each other. Nick threaded his fingers through Charlie’s curls and kissed him with abandon, secure in the knowledge that this was what Charlie wanted too. He heard Charlie give a soft whimper when his tongue lightly traced his lips and Nick felt like he was going to come undone. With all the restraint he could muster, he pulled back and rested his forehead against Charlie’s and breathed slowly until his heart rate returned to its normal rhythm. 

Charlie chuckled and leaned back, grabbing a piece of the toast in one hand and his cup of coffee in the other. Nick picked up his as well and walked around to the other side of the bed to sit next to him. They ate their toast and shared the banana, sipping their coffee slowly and quietly talking about inconsequential things, pointedly avoiding anything heavy for the moment. Before long, Charlie appeared brighter and he got out of bed to take care of his own morning needs.

Nick went into the living room to allow Charlie the privacy to change his clothes and while he waited, pulled out his phone to text Imogen to check in on the kids and thought through what he really needed to get done that day. He had finished his school week prep yesterday in anticipation of being under the weather today, but because of his self-restraint last night, he was feeling pretty good this morning. He still needed to stop at the grocery store soon, but because it wasn’t his week with the kids, he didn’t need to purchase nearly as much food. That afternoon was the book club get-together he had planned to attend and he hoped maybe Charlie would want to go together.

“What’s on your agenda today?” Charlie asked him as he came into the living room, dressed casually in comfortable jeans and a soft looking blue sweater that highlighted his eyes.

“Well, I need to get some groceries and then book club this afternoon…what about you? It looks like you've already done your shopping for the week,” Nick commented, inclining his head towards the full fruit basket, remembering the stocked fridge.

“Yeah I always go Friday mornings because most people are at work,” Charlie confirmed.

“I always go Sunday mornings because I can avoid all the homophobes who are at church then,” Nick laughed. “I guess neither of us like to shop when the store is busy. I don’t need much today though, since it’s not my week at the house, so it won’t take me long. Would you want to maybe join me, and we could get lunch together before book club? That is, if you are still planning on going and you’d be OK to go together?”

Charlie paused to think about it before nodding slightly. “I was planning on spending the morning with Elle and Tao but they’ve just texted they are too hungover to get together after all. How about if I take a book to read at the coffee shop while you get your groceries, is that OK? It’s another one of those serious discussions we should have, but I don’t think I feel comfortable to just wander the store with you? But we can absolutely have lunch afterwards and then go to book club together, if that’s OK with you?”

Nick nodded his agreement with the plan, curious as to what Charlie’s issue with the grocery shopping was, but decided to give him the respect of waiting to talk about it in his own time, just like Charlie had done for him that morning. 

After stopping quickly by Nick’s apartment for his reusable bags, he drove them to the grocery store they both shopped at. Leaving Charlie at the Starbucks for another cup of coffee, he strode quickly through the store, filling his mini basket with the foods he would need for his week alone, choosing the things he personally liked that weren’t the kids favorites. Just twenty minutes later, he was finished and swung over to the coffee area to collect Charlie.

Back at his own tiny apartment, he unloaded the groceries into the cupboards and fridge while Charlie stared at the pictures hanging on the wall, intensely studying each photo of his family. Nick came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders in a full body hug which Charlie leaned into, and smiled at the little kiss Nick gave him on the cheek.

“They all look so alike and yet different at the same time,” Charlie commented, “I really see you in them.”

Nick smiled proudly, “Yeah, I always feel like it’s obvious they are siblings when you see them all together even though they are all so unique. We don’t have any pictures of Sean up before his transition because they make him uncomfortable, but Heidi looks exactly the same as he did at that age. The boys all sound the same, even Sean, now that his voice has started changing, I can barely tell them apart if I have to talk to them on the phone now.”

“It's so wonderful how much you support them all Nick, I can tell you’re a really good dad.”

Nick shook his head, “Honestly, most days it feels like I have no idea what I’m doing. I just try to give them the support and love they seem to need, but I’m sure I am failing in ways even they don’t even understand now, and won't until they need therapy as adults. Kids don’t come with a manual and every one of them is different,” he shrugged, “We’re both just trying to do our best for them, without sacrificing ourselves in the process anymore.” 

He sighed heavily, the weight of how his own choices affected his kids laying heavy on his heart. He had to talk to Charlie about this now, otherwise it could lead to even more heartache down the line if he didn’t, for both of them.

He took Charlie’s hand and led him to the sofa. Taking a deep breath, he said, “Charlie, I want to tell you what happened between Im and I, so you know what you’re getting into with me, so you can be sure I’m worth dealing with the baggage that comes with me.”

He looked over at Charlie, nervous that Charlie might reject him, might find him too broken, and even more afraid that what he knew he needed in a relationship wouldn’t work for Charlie, and they’d have to end this before it could even really get started. Either way, he knew it was the right thing to do and he had long ago determined that before he had another serious relationship, he would lay this all out on the table with the potential partner. He had never dreamed he would feel this way about someone so soon, or that he would be so terrified to bare his soul, but Charlie had ignited a part of him that had been dead for a long time.

“So Imogen and I met in high school and were best friends for years before we got married in our final year of college. Everything seemed perfect, as far as I was concerned at least, for years. We had kids, we loved each other. It was hard of course, at times, but mostly we just got along so well and were such a good team as parents that we ignored this one major issue we had. Over time though, it became more and more apparent when it started to affect the rest of our relationship as well,” Nick sighed and spared a glance at Charlie who was looking intensely at him, nodding for him to go on.

“Unlike most couples, we never fought. We had disagreements about little things like any two people who live together do, but we never fought. We thought we had such a great relationship because of that. Except there was this one thing…that we could never seem to understand about each other, never could see eye-to-eye on, no matter how often - and it was often! - that we would try and discuss it. We just…had this giant cavern between us about it and couldn’t figure out how to cross it.”

Nick paused again and raised his eyes to the ceiling in thought. “I’m telling you about this because, god this is embarrassing to talk about before we are actually there yet, but…the issue we had was with sex.”

He heard Charlie startle like he hadn’t been expecting that, and then saw Charlie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Ok…maybe you need to explain more, Nick, because I don’t think I understand what you’re saying… I mean, you have four kids! And…when we were kissing and dancing…I could definitely…feel your interest…” Charlie whispered hesitantly, his thoughts running together.

“Oh! God, yeah, you’re right - I need to explain this better. So, we got married and assumed this is what we wanted so sex would naturally be a part of that and would get better over time. Except it didn’t. Imogen rarely wanted to have sex with me, unless it was when we were trying to conceive, and said it felt like work and required more effort than it was worth for something she didn’t enjoy. We argued about it a lot because I felt like she was rejecting me all the time, not just the sex, it felt like a rejection of me. And that built up more and more as time went on, and we had even less frequent sex. And I didn’t get it, you know? Because she loved to read erotic books, and shows or movies that had sex in them turned her on, so why didn’t I? I took it all very personally and it drove a wedge between us that started splitting the rest of our relationship apart.”

“As parents, we were still an amazing team, still are actually, and no one in our lives had any idea that we were fracturing apart bit by bit. The lack of sex, for me, felt like a lack of love and my interest in sex, when she didn’t want it, felt like a violation to her. It was basically like…like we didn’t speak the same language about sex, if that makes sense?” he looked at Charlie expectantly.

Charlie nodded and gripped Nick’s hands tighter. “I think I might know where you are going with this Nick, but it’s your story to tell so please, continue. But just know this now, if you’re saying what I think you are saying, you don’t have to be afraid with me about it. I’m not going to hurt you like that, I couldn’t.”

That was everything Nick needed to hear to force himself to finish telling Charlie the rest of the story of how his marriage had ended. 

“So, yeah, this had been an issue our entire marriage and we just didn’t know what to do anymore…until Imogen started reading a book about different sexualities, beyond just the binary interest but like, the interest in sex, I guess? And I’m so proud of her for having done that because it was really hard on her, on both of us, but also a relief as well…because she finally began to understand herself. She now identifies as aegosexual, on the ace spectrum, which was what had caused us all the initial confusion because she loved sex in the abstract, in the fictional sense, just not in reality.”

Charlie nodded, “I know what that is. Tori, my sister, she’s ace and Isaac, he’s aro-ace. I am pretty well versed in all things asexual, even though it’s absolutely not my personal experience.”

Nick exhaled heavily, relief rushing through his body, both that Charlie understood his heartbreak about his past and that he wouldn’t lose Charlie over this same issue as well. He leaned into Charlie, brushing his lips softly on his, before straightening to finish the rest.

“Once Imogen fully accepted her ace identity, she knew she couldn’t give me what I needed and, because we cared for and loved each other so much, we decided it was best to set each other free. She could be free of the internal pressure to sleep with me and I could be free to find someone to love who would love me the way I needed and wanted. It's very unconventional how we've handled it; honestly, most people think we’re crazy, but it works for us. We share the house and the apartment, just rotate who lives in each on a weekly basis. We keep all of our personal stuff separate in the two spaces. But it allows the kids to stay in one house, take the same school buses, and maintain some consistency. They all know why we divorced and are supportive, they haven't given any indication of being mad this has happened. I think they see we’re both happier now, and they're glad of that.”

“Wow Nick. That was a lot to share,” Charlie said, holding his hand a bit tighter, “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for knowing what you needed then, and making sure, now, that we can give each other what we need. Sex is really important to me too. Not in a physical way so much as just, it feels like a way to express love and affection, as a way to connect on a deeper level. That doesn’t mean I haven’t done the casual thing in the past, but it’s not what I want to do now. I want everything with you Nick, which seems crazy because we’ve only known each other a month now, and I’m not, like, in a hurry for us to have sex, but I do want that with you.”

Nick couldn’t contain his grin even if he tried and he desperately pulled Charlie into his arms, holding him against his chest as he breathed in the scent of Charlie’s curls. His relief felt palpable, the tightening in his chest since the conversation that morning now relaxed. There would be more to say in time, boundaries to discuss so he could maintain the balance of the shared housing with Imogen, but that could wait. For now, Nick was reassured that he and Charlie were on the same page and could continue moving forward.

Their long discussion meant they had to hurry to leave for the book club if they wanted to be on time. It was held at a local bookstore downtown so they planned to just have a quick snack on the way and then get an early dinner somewhere afterwards. Nick drove again, while Charlie fiddled with the music, setting it to a playlist he found acceptable. They held hands when they walked into the group, Isaac grinning knowingly at them from his spot in the circle. The discussion was lively with people commenting on the beauty of the writing, the secret-but-not-secret aspect of Pertoclus and Achilles’ relationship, and how their willingness to sacrifice everything for each other was a testament to true love. Nick was impressed with the intelligent reflections and eloquent arguments of the entire group and felt very at home among the eclectic mix of personalities. He eagerly signed up to attend the next one, even though Charlie had a prior commitment that day and wouldn’t be able to be there. 

After book club and the emotional conversation that morning, they opted for a quiet Italian place where they ate salad and breadsticks and enjoyed pasta as their main meal while sticking to more casual conversations. Nick told Charlie about the summer baseball league starting in a couple weeks that he would be coaching-Charlie teasing his desire to see Nick in those tight baseball pants-and the trip to France he was planning for the following spring break for his upperclassmen. Charlie talked about the 10K he wanted to run in the fall, and the vacation he was going on with Tori’s family at the end of the summer. It was light and comfortable, with no long silences they felt compelled to fill; Nick felt like they fit together like a couple of neighboring pieces that had been missing in a puzzle, and when put together, the entire picture completed.

Charlie paid for their dinner, insisting he had fewer other responsibilities than Nick did and he wanted to treat him. Nick reluctantly agreed and as they walked out hand in hand, he was already planning the next time he would take Charlie out again. They drove in silence, contemplating all that had changed between them that weekend. Nick couldn’t remember feeling so many different emotions in such a short time in years, and his brain would need some time to process all of it that night. 

Nick walked Charlie to his door and took him in his arms. He sighed heavily, leaning into Charlie. 

“Thank you so much for everything this weekend Char,” he said softly, “The concert and meeting your friends, staying over and the whole day together…it was just, perfect. And listening to me this morning, I can’t even express how much that meant to me, and how much you mean to me already. Thanks for not judging our choices, and being supportive of my family situation.”

Charlie nodded and made a humming sound in the back of his throat. “You know, Nick, you don’t have to hide from me. You are safe to be you in this relationship. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nick’s eyes filled with tears and he kissed Charlie, desperate to seal this commitment to be together, and poured all his emotions into him. They kissed deeply, Nick’s hand on the back of Charlie’s head and his other gripping his hip, holding him as close as possible. Charlie tilted his head to take Nick further into him, opening his lips, twisting his fingers in Nick’s shirt. Nick groaned deeply at the passion he could feel flowing between them, made only stronger by the deep conversations they’d had today, and pulled Charlie impossibly closer, breathing the same air as him. When Charlie’s hips moved a fraction of inch against his, he gasped and forced himself to release Charlie before he went further than he was ready for and knew he would regret later.

Both breathing heavily, Charlie wiped the tears from Nick’s face and gave him another gentle kiss. “Nick? There are things about me too, issues from my past, that you’ll need to know before you can truly know if I’m worth it for you. But, I don’t want to go into them now, it’s been a heavy enough day as it is. I just wanted you to know though, you’re not the only one with shit that has shaped who you are, that it’s OK when our pasts influence who we are now.”

“Charlie,” Nick whispered, “I can’t imagine anything that would ever change whether I want to be with you. I’m so gone for you Charlie, it’s almost ridiculous. I want to hear anything you choose to share, but please, don't be afraid it will change my feelings for you.” He needed to make sure Charlie trusted him, had confidence in the veracity of his words, before he could leave him for the evening.

Pulling him in for another searing kiss, Nick tried to infuse every swipe of tongue, every brush of lips, every caress, with his feelings for Charlie, willing him to understand that he was safe with Nick, he would never hurt him or mistreat him, he would cherish all that he was. It was Charlie who eventually broke the kiss, breathless and flushed, his arousal evident where they were pressed together. He turned slowly towards his door, unlocked it and gave Nick one more quick kiss before entering his apartment and closed the door.

Nick went back to his car in a bit of a daze, the kisses had awakened long buried desires deep in his heart. Not only did he love the rush it gave him to be kissed like Charlie kissed him but he loved showing Charlie how he felt in that way, it made him feel even more connected to him and left him wanting more. More time together, more passion, just more Charlie.

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie entered his office early Monday morning with a spring (ha!) in his step. The past month had overwhelmed him in the best way, his outlook on his life and future having changed drastically from just four weeks ago. It was now the last few days of April and spring was fully in bloom, the tulips opened and leaves filled the branches of trees waking from their long winter sleep. This was the time of year Charlie most looked forward to, when he could spend more time outdoors, and the available activities in their area were plentiful.

He had spent most of the weekend with Nick and his friends. He had skipped Front Runners to have brunch with Tao and Elle on Saturday where he had agonized over his longing for Nick and declared his resolve to have a real conversation with him about their relationship that evening. Elle was sure Nick had feelings for Charlie, given the way they had been talking and Charlie had explained his misunderstanding about the whole “also bisexual” situation. Tao, in his typical defensive but supportive way, encouraged him to be careful but truly wanted Charlie to be happy after so many years alone, knowing Charlie craved the companionship of someone he could love, of someone he could build a mutual support system with.

The birthday party/concert had been the most fun he had had in years, with his amazing friends all being together, and the addition of Nick, Tara and Darcy to the group. Those two were remarkable people and Charlie hoped he would be able to develop more of a friendship with them as he and Nick got closer. Since they were Nick’s best friends and his kids’ godparents, he expected they would.

Charlie had yet to meet Nick’s kids, other than the brief interaction he witnessed between Nick and his daughter from his car. He hoped he would get the chance to get to know them, and maybe become friends with them, if they wanted. It was something he knew he and Nick would need to talk about.

The door to the office opened and Tori breezed by him, wishing him a belated happy birthday and hurried to set up for the day. He knew he would be answering questions from her and Isaac about Nick later but, despite his excitement about the progression of their relationship over the weekend, he was hesitant to be too open about it, at least until he had told Nick about his history with anorexia and OCD, and how those things affected him to this day. He had seen Nick’s face scrunch up in concern when Charlie had mentioned that he didn’t want to just wander through a grocery store with him, but had been so grateful Nick hadn’t pushed him to share until he was ready.

The schedule for the day was packed which meant their daily huddle had no extra time for idle chit-chat and the entire staff was busy all morning with barely enough time for any of them, save Isaac, to even finish their morning cup of coffee. Apparently, in addition to their normal restoration appointments, they had to squeeze multiple emergency patients in for suspected infections and one for a bite adjustment to a filling he had placed last week. By the time Charlie and Tori left for their daily walk during lunch, he was exhausted and it was only halfway through the day.

He told Tori about the weekend, and his time with Elle and Tao in the morning, the show at Pink and the day he had spent with Nick on Sunday. She listened without saying much until he trailed off and gave her a look. 

“What?” she asked in her typical monotone voice she reserved just for her family.

“You aren’t really saying anything about Nick and I know you are thinking something…so spill. You’re kind of freaking me out.”

“What do you want me to say? I mean, Charlie, I am so glad you have found him and it seems like he is really a good man from everything I know about him, both from Ryan and from baseball. But…” her voice dropped into a whisper.

“But what, Tori? You know I love you and value your opinion, even if I don’t like it. What’s on your mind about Nick?”

“It's just…Charlie, you know he is recently divorced, like only a year ago, right?”

Charlie nodded and told her a surface-level version of their conversation regarding his ex-wife and what had happened between them, confident that it was not an issue for him to be concerned about in any possible future with Nick.

Tori smiled at that, obviously pleased that Nick had been so honest and upfront with Charlie before starting a serious relationship with her brother. Then she frowned again and looked back at Charlie with concern.

“And what about you Charlie? Have you told him about you yet?”

Charlie sighed heavily at the question. It weighed on him, knowing he had to reveal portions of his past he would rather keep hidden, but it would be impossible, and wrong of him, to do so in a committed relationship with Nick.

“Not yet. The conversation about his divorce was so emotionally tense, it didn’t feel like the right time to dump even more on Nick at the moment. I know I need to tell him; I actually want to tell him, for the first time in any relationship, because I trust him and want to be real together,” Charlie confided in his sister, knowing she was always on his side, ready to help him in any way. “I was thinking of inviting him over for dinner one night this week and talking to him about it, before he has the chance to tell his kids about us next weekend like he said he plans to do. Just in case it changes his mind about me…” It felt like a knife in the gut to imagine if that were to happen, like a piece of him would go missing if Nick chose to not be with Charlie after he revealed his lifelong mental health issues. But it had to be done, for the possibility of a real future together. 

Tori reached over to hold his hand for a few minutes while they walked in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. As they rounded the final corner before going inside to eat their respective lunches, she sighed and squeezed his fingers in support. 

“I think it’s a good idea Charlie. Honestly, I don’t think it’ll change how he feels about you, and if it does, I will be having words with him! But, speaking as a parent, it might have some impact on how or when he tells the kids about you. He may need more time to process it, especially since you are in such a good place right now, it might take him by surprise.”

Charlie was quiet as they walked up to the front of the office building and stopped at the entrance before going in.

“Thanks for being such a good listener and being honest in your advice Tor; I love you. I’m going to think about this some more before I decide what to do. Can I talk to you about what to say, if I need to?”

“Of course Charlie, you know you can always talk to me and Nick can too, if he wants. I’m always here for you,” she assured him, taking him in her arms and hugging him tightly.

He ate his lunch in contemplative silence after that, as he pondered the best way to tell Nick about his stay in inpatient to treat the anorexia and OCD and the self harm that plagued him for years, and the patterns he had to follow now to avoid a relapse, even though the last time had been at the end of dental school.

He didn’t have long to make any firm decisions though as the day picked up in intensity again after lunch with two more crown preps, another emergency and his routine exams during cleaning appointments. He was exhausted both mentally and physically by the time he arrived home from work. Realizing in all the busyness of the day, he hadn’t messaged with Nick more than a quick ‘good morning’ and ‘hi’ during lunch so he opened his phone to his texts to check in while he made himself dinner.

Charlie [5:47] : ‘Hi gorgeous boyfriend (I like saying it!) How was your day?’

Charlie got out his small instapot and measured out two days’ portions of rice to cook for himself, so he would have the leftovers on Wednesday night. Once it was started, he removed a bag of frozen mixed vegetables from the freezer and warmed a frying pan on the stove with a small amount of oil to prevent the vegetables from sticking. He sauteed them while the rice cooked and added a teriyaki sauce to the mixture to simmer until the rice was finished. It was his meatless Monday meal plan, and one of his simplest meals he made, needing something quick and easy after a tiring workday. 

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out to see a message from Nick.

Nick [5:50] : ‘Hi beautiful boyfriend (I like saying it too!)’

Nick [5:50] : ‘Day was alright, Mondays with teenagers are always hard and the boys at practice weren’t really in the best frame of mind. It’s the last week so I think they are just a bit tired now tbh.’

Nick [5:52] : ‘Last game is at St. John’s on Thursday at 4…any chance you want to come and watch? Ryan’s team plays at the same location, at the field next to where my team is, so you could see them both at the same time?’

Nick [5:53] : ‘Then once the summer league starts, I’ll be coaching him all the time so you’ll have a good excuse to come see both of us’ 😉

Charlie stirred the vegetables again so they didn’t stick to the pan, thinking about adding the game to his Thursday evening. He closed the office at 4pm on Thursdays, so he had the time free. And if it was the last game of the year, he knew Ryan would love it if he showed up - seeing Nick in his baseball coach uniform was just an added bonus. 

Charlie [5:58] : ‘Yeah, actually, that should work since we close earlier on Thursdays. I’ll watch Ryan’s game and spy on you in your tight baseball pants from the sidelines.’ 🥵 😍

Charlie [6:00] : ‘You don't go back to the house until after school on Friday right? Want to come to mine for dinner after the game? I’ll cook for you. It's taco salad night.’

Charlie [6:02] : ‘I miss you already, so I really hope you can come?’

The instapot beeped, signaling to Charlie the rice was done so he pressed the plunger to release the steam and then dished up his dinner and sat at the table to eat while he watched his current historical fiction obsession, Outlander. He’d only made it through about five minutes of it when his phone buzzed again.

Nick [6:10] : ‘I’d love to come for dinner! And taco salad sounds great, I love that. Can I bring anything? Dessert maybe?’

Nick [6:11] : ‘FYI, can’t stay too late though since I have to teach the next morning, not all of us have four day work weeks Char.’ 😂

Charlie [6:15] : ‘You can bring dessert if you want, can you bring vanilla bean ice cream, this specific brand?’ Charlie sent Nick a picture of the carton of ice cream he felt safe to eat.

Charlie [6:16] : ‘I know it’s weird to be so specific, I’ll explain on Thursday.’

Nick [6:18] : ‘Of course, Char, whatever you like. I’ll pick some up on my way over Thursday after the game.’

Nick [6:20] : ‘btw, Imogen will be at the game. She usually switches between watching both when they are at the same location.’

Nick [6:25] : ‘I haven’t told her about you yet, I’m going to ask her for coffee this weekend so I can tell her before I talk to the kids. It’s something we agreed to be open about when we got divorced, so we’re all on the same page.’

Charlie took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down at the implication that he had to act like he didn’t know Nick, his brain immediately telling him Nick was hiding him and wasn’t as OK being out as he’d claimed. 

Nick [6:30] : ‘Char, I can hear you spiraling from here 😉I’m not saying you have to avoid me or can’t come say hello, it just needs to be as friends, and as Ryan’s uncle, until I tell her. And I owe it to her to tell her in person, you get that right?’

Nick [6:31] : ‘She’ll be alright with it, I know she will. But I want to do this right, for you and for her.’

Nick [6:32] : ‘Char? Babe?’

Charlie’s face broke into a huge smile at the endearment and he quickly typed a response to Nick.

Charlie [6:33] : ‘Babe? You’ve really stepped up the nickname game Nicholas.’

Charlie [6:34] : ‘What shall I call you then? Sweetheart, dear, love, darling? I can practically see the blush spreading across your face when you think of me calling you any of those, but I think I’m partial to darling…’

Nick [6:36] : ‘I’m dead Charlie, you've killed me with your teasing.’

Nick [6:37] : ‘But actually, yeah, I think I’m ok with darling.’ 😍

Charlie’s food was starting to get cold so he quickly reheated it, told Nick he had to go and said goodnight. He needed to keep himself on schedule this week or he was likely to struggle to uphold the plan, even after the initial relationship stress faded. He finished the episode while he ate his rice and vegetables, and then put the leftovers in a container for dinner Wednesday night. After he packed his lunch for the next day and did his dishes, he watched another episode of Outlander before turning in for the night. 

As he lay in bed reading, he sent Nick a quick selfie of himself in bed with his book, his black reading glasses perched on his nose and a small smile for him. Nick heart-reacted and sent one of himself in a similar position, sans glasses or shirt. Charlie’s heart raced and all of his blood rushed south as he stared at Nick’s muscled arms, shoulders and chest, the area sprinkled with freckles and light brown curly hair. Charlie’s mind immediately conjured a vision of what he couldn’t see under the navy blue duvet and felt his cock begin to thicken with desire to see Nick in the same state of undress, but in his bed next to him. He quickly sent Nick a fire emoji before setting his phone on silent next to the bed and reached into his side table, his hand searching desperately for the lube. His breath was already coming out in little pants as he pictured Nick’s naked torso and what it would feel like to run his hands all over the soft skin, to watch it bloom in arousal at Charlie’s touch.

Charlie was fully hard now at just the mental images of Nick without even having touched himself at all. He finally found the small bottle, flicked the lid open and poured the liquid between his fingers to warm it before grasping his cock firmly in his palm, slowly stroking along the shaft and shuddering at the sensation. It had been a while since he had done this, since he had such an overwhelming urge he just had to satisfy it immediately. He wondered if Nick felt the same, if Nick was doing the same thing right now . He gasped at the thought of Nick stroking himself, thinking about Charlie while he did so, and increased his speed, flicking his thumb over the tip every other stroke. Moments later, eyes tightly shut, he imagined Nick’s voice moaning his name, and Charlie came with a cry, shooting ropes of cum into his hand, before relaxing in exhausted pleasure into his blankets. His breathing slowed as he wiped the mess from his hand and stomach with a tissue and rolled over and fell promptly asleep.

The rest of the week passed in a similar vein. His schedule was pretty full most days but whenever he had a break in between patients, he would send messages to Nick, sometimes a silly meme, sometimes just a quick note to say hi and that he was thinking of him. They both had busy lives and full work schedules so they couldn’t just spend all day talking to each other, even if it’s what he would have loved to do. Tori continued to give him sound advice of how he could prepare Nick and give him the space to ask the questions he might need answers to. He was surprised by how insightful Tori was when it came to the parenting stuff and he realized he had greatly underestimated her abilities as a mom.

By the time Thursday rolled around, Charlie felt pretty confident about his upcoming discussion with Nick that night, and found he was actually looking forward to the baseball game. He changed out of his scrubs into jeans and a pale green and white striped shirt with a pink sweater over it and his black converse; checking himself out in the mirror, he thought he fitted the role of gay uncle pretty well. He wore his knock-off Ray-Bans to block the sun and drove quickly to the game after locking up the office miraculously right at 4pm. 

He strode swiftly across the running track that was situated next to the baseball fields, thinking back to his own time in school as a cross-country runner. There were two fields in front of him and he didn’t know which was Ryan’s team and which was Nick’s but he figured he’d just stand between the two so he could experience them both. He heard Nick’s voice call out encouragement to a player and smiled at his enthusiasm. Once he had found a spot to see both games, he scanned the stands around him, wondering if he would recognize Imogen when he saw her. He saw his nephew warming up to bat and focused on the game in front of him. After cheering him on - unfortunately, he struck out - Charlie alternated his attention between the two games. 

When Matt went to take the pitcher's mound, he heard a woman call out encouragement to him and he knew instantly it was her. She looked just like the pictures Charlie had seen of her on Nick’s Instagram. She was beautiful but Charlie found he didn’t feel any kind of jealousy towards her or animosity for the way their divorce had hurt Nick. It wasn’t her fault that she was who she was, and he was proud of them for making the brave choice to let each other go, and that they’d been able to do it so amicably. And secretly, he was glad of it because it led Nick to him.

The games were both close in score but in the end, the older boys lost while the younger ones (Nick’s team) won their final game of the season. Charlie was surprised by how much he enjoyed the game itself, the hot coach was an added bonus, and he planned to try and attend more of the summer season games when his work schedule allowed. He hugged Ryan before he left, complimented his fielding at second base, and said he’d see him for dinner on Friday. He gave a quick wave to Nick from a distance and hurried home to finish getting the dinner ready but as it was a simple meal, he had some time to spare since Nick still had to go home to shower before coming over. He had told Charlie he’d probably arrive between 7-7:15 pm after stopping for the ice cream for dessert.

Charlie hoped he would be able to express everything about his mental health clearly to Nick, calling on his years of therapy to soothe his anxiety that Nick wouldn’t want to be with him once he knew. The added layer of Nick being a parent meant he had to consider his kids as well and even though Charlie didn’t feel like anything he had dealt with should impact them now, it just felt dishonest to not put it all out there for Nick in the beginning. And if he took it well, it would likely strengthen their bond, just like Nick’s sharing about his divorce had. He really hoped it was the case with this too, as he was in deep with Nick.

He had Alexa turn on a mellow playlist while he sauteed the ground beef and stirred in taco seasoning. He’d already made the ranch dressing and shredded the cheese the night before during his normal dinner prep time. Today, he washed and chopped a tomato, poured a can of chopped olives in a small bowl and shredded the lettuce into the large salad spinner. Once everything was prepared, he arranged it all in order of placement across the grey speckled countertop and then set the small round table. He had extra large salad bowls just for this particular meal, white and simple, but perfect for when the salad was the main course. Satisfied he was ready for dinner to be served, he sat with his phone to wait for Nick.

He’d only watched a couple of TikToks when he heard Nick’s gentle knock on the door just after 7:00 pm. He greeted him at the door with a tight hug and inhaled Nick’s freshly washed scent. Pulling him into his apartment, he offered him a beer to go with the taco salad and Nick agreed. 

“Just one though, since I have to work tomorrow,” Nick said to which Charlie petulantly stuck out his lower lip, causing Nick to burst out laughing.

“Jesus Char, that was so cute.”

He held up the bag with the ice cream and, making himself right at home again like the other day, placed it in the freezer for later. Nick’s eyes widened when he saw the spread of taco salad fixings and his stomach let out an audible growl.

“I guess we should eat then, huh?” Charlie smiled fondly at Nick as he handed him one of the large salad bowls.

They chatted about their respective days at work while they each created their own salad with their desired toppings. Once they had sat at the table, Charlie held up his beer to Nick, tapping them gently together, said softly, “Cheers” and Nick replied, “To many more” and they smiled widely at each other. The easy conversation flowed through the meal as they ate and Charlie felt himself relax despite the upcoming heavy conversation he knew he needed to have with Nick. 

Their salads consumed and their beers only halfway drank, Charlie asked Nick if he wanted to go sit on the couch together where it was more comfortable. Nick agreed and leaned over to give Charlie a lingering kiss.

“I just realized I’ve been here an hour and hadn’t even kissed you yet, and that just won’t do.”

Charlie giggled and wrapped his arms around Nick’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss, this one lengthening and threatened to pull him under in the best way. Nick tasted like beer and he just wanted to spend the entire night kissing him, instead of talking which they had to do now. He turned towards the small grey couch and curled up in one corner of it, facing the center where Nick sat. His hands gripped his beer tightly, the whites of his knuckles evidence of his nerves which Nick, of course, noticed. He slowly slid his hand along Charlie’s knee down to his feet, and pulled them over his lap so they could cuddle together. 

“Char? What’s wrong?”

Charlie shook his head, “No, Nick, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to talk to you…about the stuff I mentioned before. Because, if it’s too much for you, if I’m too much for you, I need to know now before…” his voice trailed off as he realized that the time to protect his own heart had already passed a few weeks ago. But now, this was about Nick and his family; before he told them about Charlie, he needed to know everything. “I’m a bit nervous,” he sighed.

“Charlie, I’m not going anywhere, I’ve already told you, nothing you could say would change that,” Nick said emphatically.

Charlie nodded, “I know what you said Nick, and I want to believe you, I really do but…let me just tell you all at once and then you can ask questions if you have them, OK?”

Nick nodded in agreement, miming sealing his lips, which made Charlie laugh and released a bit of the tension.

“OK, well, you know how I mentioned I had been outed and bullied in high school?” Nick murmured he did.

“It was bad, really bad. And it went on so long that I think I started to believe it when people called me disgusting right to my face. Especially at that time, I didn’t really have anyone besides Elle, Tao and Isaac to talk to; and the things everyone said about me, really made me hate myself. I felt out of control all the time because I couldn’t stop them, or make my parents understand what was happening to me…after a while, I developed an eating disorder. I guess I was trying to take back some of the control I felt like I lost from the bullying. Eventually, that also didn’t make me feel anything and I started cutting.” 

Charlie looked away from Nick, he couldn’t handle seeing the righteous anger, then tears in his eyes, if he was going to finish telling him what he needed to say.

“It got really bad. When Tori found out, she convinced my parents to help me get into an inpatient clinic, to get me out of the deep end. I spent two months there and it saved my life. I was diagnosed with anorexia and OCD and I’ve been in therapy and taken medication to help manage the compulsions since then. I haven't had a relapse since my final year of dental school. But it still is part of me. It’s why I need to eat a specific brand of ice cream and why I couldn’t just wander through the grocery store with you. In many ways, I am flexible like most people and can handle changes in my routine for a short time but then, all of a sudden, I can’t anymore.”

Charlie dared to look at Nick, afraid at what he might find on Nick’s face. He needn't have worried. Nick was looking at him with such awe, tear tracks racing down his cheeks. He breathed deeply in and out, and then asked Charlie if he could give him a hug. At Charlie’s slight nod of affirmation, he pulled Charlie all the way into his lap, wrapped his arms tightly around him and buried his face in Charlie’s chest. Charlie could feel him shuddering as Nick tried to calm his tears. When he finally pulled back, he reached up to cup Charlie’s face in his palm and traced his thumb along his cheek gently, then pulled him down into a gentle, reassuring kiss.

“Char…God, I can’t believe you went through all that as a teen without any real support. I am so sorry. But also, incredibly proud of you for having fought your way back, I know that wasn’t easy to do. You are so strong, you're like, one of the strongest people I know. You are amazing and I can’t believe I get to know you, that I get to be with you.”

Charlie couldn’t hold his tears back anymore, they streamed uninhibited down his cheeks and dripped onto his sweater. “Thank you Nick, that’s exactly what I hoped you'd say…so, this doesn’t change how you feel about me? Do you still feel OK telling your kids about us?”

Nick looked at Charlie in bewilderment. “What do you mean Charlie? Why would any of that make me not want to introduce you to my kids?”

“I don’t know… I just worried that maybe you wouldn’t want to have a boyfriend with a mental illness, that it would seem like a burden in addition to your already stressful life as a dad and full-time teacher. I wanted to make sure you had all the information before you told them, so you didn’t feel like I lied to you later.” Charlie tried to explain his reasoning, although even he could start to hear how unlikely it sounded, that Nick would reject him for this.

“Charlie, I have anxiety and have taken medication for it for years. Niles, well, Niles really struggles to eat sometimes too so I understand that. And Sean has a history of self-harm. This is my life and, as hard as it is, I wouldn’t change it. And, like I said before, nothing could change how I feel about you Charlie. Except, actually, that's not really true, I think knowing this about you actually makes me care for you even more. I can’t believe how much I like you Charlie, it’s like I’m bursting with it sometimes.”

Charlie hung his head, a little bit embarrassed that he hadn’t trusted Nick to be the man he knew him to be. He shifted in Nick’s lap, straddling him, and leaned down to kiss him. He brushed his lips softly across Nick’s and then slightly parted them to deepen into longer kisses. His fingers scratched the short hairs on the back of Nick’s neck as he gently sought entrance with his tongue into Nick’s mouth. Nick answered with a groan, deepening the kiss and kneading his hands along Charlie’s back, pulled him closer, tighter into his embrace. They kissed feverishly, caught up in the intensity of the emotional connection they were feeling.

When Nick’s hands grazed over his ass and he shifted himself up into Charlie, he gasped and broke the kiss, moving along Nick’s jaw with his lips until he reached his ear and lightly bit down, dragging his lobe between his teeth, causing Nick to groan loudly in pleasure. Charlie smiled to himself, he’d need to remember that spot for another time. He peppered kisses back towards Nick's lips where he reclaimed them again. After what felt like mere moments, Charlie pulled himself off Nick’s lap and sank on the couch next to him, breathing heavily and tried to force his erection to recede. He noticed Nick doing the same and giggled. 

He stood awkwardly, shifted his jeans a bit and held out a hand to help Nick up. “Ice cream?”

They ate in comfortable silence, peaking over the rims of their bowls at each other with soft smiles, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts. Charlie was so relieved it had gone well, and he hadn’t scared Nick off with his history. He knew there would still be challenges ahead for them about this but he felt confident now they would face them together. 

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick was so fucking tired. It had been a long week, even without the kids, between work and the emotional conversations he had had with Charlie. Nick felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders after he had opened up to him about the reasons why he and Imogen had separated and Charlie had reassured him he would not face the same feelings of rejection with him. Nick was confident now that he would be free to express himself physically in ways with Charlie that he never fully could with Imogen and the thought excited him. He knew though, especially after Charlie’s admission of his mental health struggles, that just because they could have mutually desirable sex, it didn’t mean there wouldn’t be challenges they would face. But this week had shown him they would face those obstacles together, as partners. 

Still, though, he was exhausted. He was so glad to arrive at the house on Friday for his week with the kids and recharge his emotional batteries with their love and energy. He parked his car in the garage and came in through the basement door, calling out his arrival up the stairs where he assumed the kids were all in their rooms. Their muted responses made him chuckle and sigh, feeling sentimental for the time gone by when he would arrive home and they would race to meet him at the door, knocking the wind out of him as they wrapped their little arms around his legs. Now the only similar enthusiasm he received was from Daisy, who had bounded down the stairs and licked his hand, her tail wagging in excitement.

“Hi girl, miss me?” Nick said softly to her and he knelt to pet her under her chin where she liked it best. “I missed you…”

He knocked lightly on the bedroom door, and heard Imogen invite him in but he waited for her to open the door. 

“Hi! I’m almost done collecting my stuff, just finished changing the sheets for you,” Imogen said, as she leaned in and gave him a hug.

He hugged her back and nodded. “No rush, take your time. Is it ok if I put my bags on the bed then? How was the week?”

“Fine, busy as always. Not like we haven’t talked every day Nick,” she teased him lightly.

He was so glad they still had this, their friendship and ability to parent together as if everything hadn’t fallen apart between them as husband and wife. 

“Yeah I know…still, just wanted to ask…uh, Im? I kinda have something I need to talk to you about. Are you by chance free for coffee this weekend?”

Imogen shook her head, looking at him with concern. “No, I’m going to Portland with a friend from work, we’re going to a comedy show Saturday night…I told you, remember?”

“Oh, of course, yeah you did. I guess I just forgot it was this weekend, sorry…” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Nick, what’s up? You’re rubbing your neck, which means you're nervous about talking to me and you’re never nervous about that anymore…is something wrong? Are you OK?” Imogen stopped folding her clothes and looked at him with worry in her eyes.

“Sorry, nothing to worry about. I’m fine. I just…” he paused, stepping over to the door, and fixed her with a questioning look to ask if it was alright for him to close it. She nodded, her eyebrows pulled together in concern.

“Um…god, where do I start?” he murmured to himself.

“The beginning is usually the right place,” Imogen joked and gestured for him to continue.

“Right. OK. So you know how I broke my tooth in Seattle and went to see the dentist Ryan recommended? I told you about him?” Nick began. When Imogen nodded, he continued, “Well, the dentist, Charlie is his name, and I started talking, like online, and getting to know each other. We really got along well so we decided to hang out a few times, at the running club and for coffee. That kind of thing…” Nick rubbed his neck again and blew air out between his lips. “And I like him Imogen, like I really like him, and luckily, he likes me back? So, we…we’re going out. He’s my boyfriend, Charlie’s my boyfriend.”

He looked over at Imogen who had sat down on the bed, taking in his news. He couldn’t tell if she was upset, or maybe just contemplating what to say in response. He gingerly sat next to her, turning to face her and tried to read her expression. After a few moments, she looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“That's great Nick, I’m really happy for you…have you, have you told him about us? Because, I know you said before, if you ever dated again, you’d need to be honest with that person and I want to make sure you are, for your sake. And the kids’. So they don’t get attached to someone you may find you have a serious compatibility issue with…”

Nick reached over and held her hand. “Yeah, I told him. It was hard, hard to be so honest with someone else about that part of our life, but I did it. I needed to know, for myself, that the same thing wouldn’t happen again. I’ve never blamed you, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t affect me.”

She nodded, agreeing with him - this was not the first time they had had nearly this exact conversation.

“So, he’s a dentist? And he’s Ryan’s uncle? Wait, is he at all like Ryan’s mom? Because I can not see you with someone like her!”

“Well…I mean, I don’t know her that well to be honest but Charlie is much more outgoing and warmer than she is. He’s kind, and funny, and gorgeous. He runs, plays the drums, and we have similar interests in books and entertainment. Honestly, Im? I’m so gone for him already, like, the kids will say I’m a massive simp over him when they find out,” Nick’s voice trailed off. “But yeah, that's why I wanted to tell you. Because we promised we would talk about it together before bringing the kids into it, if either of us ever had a partner we wanted to date seriously.”

Imogen nodded and pursed her lips in thought. “You've only known him for a month though? That seems fast.”

Nick sighed, “Yeah, I know. I can’t explain it, Imogen; it just clicked with him, like, pretty much as soon as I met him. Like all the pieces of my life fell into place. And…he feels the same. He’s a really good man, I know you’ll like him. I know the kids will too. But I wanted to talk to you about it, before I bring him over or introduce him to them as my boyfriend. See what your thoughts are.”

There was a long pause, long enough that Nick started to get nervous.

“Nick, I really appreciate you coming to me first, before you did anything with the kids. I think, and please don't hate me for this, but I think I’d like you to be together a little longer before they meet him in that context, as your boyfriend, I mean. Not because I’m saying it will happen, but what if you find out something about him and it doesn’t work out and they've tried to get to know him, or, just wrapped their head around you dating again, and then you break up? That would be really hard for them, I think. Can you maybe just wait another month or so? Make sure you really are serious about him?”

Nick’s first instinct was to shake his head and argue with her that he wasn’t going to break up with Charlie ever but then he tried to look at it from her perspective, to put himself in her shoes, and he could totally understand where she was coming from, asking him to wait for a bit more time. They had time, he knew, so he didn’t need to rush it. He nodded slowly, contemplating the next thing he should say.

“Alright, Im. I get what you’re saying and I can agree to that. How about, I continue to just spend time with him on my weeks at the apartment and at the running group on Saturday mornings until school lets out? That’s six weeks. I’d really like you to meet him first, before the kids, if that’s OK?” She agreed. “Maybe we set a date, the Friday night of the last week of school, and the three of us go out? Have a drink? And you can get to know him a bit? I can see if the kids could go to my mom’s for the night.”

Imogen exhaled a shaky breath. “That would make me feel a lot better about it, Nick. Are you sure that’s OK with you? We’ve always said we’re going to be partners with the kids, so I don’t want you to feel like I’m dictating anything here.”

“No, I can understand how you feel about it, and I respect it. I mean, I am a little disappointed to not introduce them yet because I think they will all get along well. But Charlie isn’t going anywhere so it’s OK to take that part slow for the kids’ sake. I mean, they may meet him at a baseball game once or twice and definitely will when I take them in for their teeth cleanings. But I won’t introduce him as my boyfriend and I’ll make sure not to give off that impression around them.”

Imogen nodded in agreement. “OK, so we’re good?” she asked, standing up to finish packing so she could leave. “No hard feelings?”

Nick stood and faced her, pulling her into his arms for a quick hug. 

“We’re all good.”

Other than the couple of hours he was with Charlie at Front Runners Saturday morning, he spent the entire weekend with the kids. They played a board game most of the afternoon Saturday, watched a movie together that evening and had Sarah over for brunch on Sunday morning after his weekly shopping trip. Now that the school baseball season was over, Nick needed less time on the weekend to prepare for the upcoming school week. So, while the kids did their remaining homework or whatever it was teenagers did while locked in their rooms all day, Nick worked in the garden. 

The raised vegetable beds they had cleaned out were ready for some of the cool weather seeds to get in the ground now, before the intense heat of the summer became inhospitable for the more fragile plants. He planted a large plot of broccoli and cauliflower, knowing he could freeze some if they had too much, and a smaller one with radishes and lettuce for their salad. He also got the seed potatoes into the ground, deep in the dirt so they could multiply and keep them in potatoes well into the upcoming winter. He listened to music while he worked and envisioned Charlie helping him with the planting next year, wondering if Charlie had any interest in gardening? He’d have to ask.

(No time like the present, plus I need to sit for a minute anyway.) He sat on the garden bench he had built two years ago and had a sip of water while he texted Charlie.

Nick [3:45] : ‘Babe, I’m working in the garden and thinking about you. Wishing you were here with me. Do you even like to garden?’

Nick [3:47] : ‘I’m growing vegetables! And I've just done a quick walk around and the wildflower field is really filling in, it’s going to be so pretty soon! I’ll cut flowers and bring them to you’ 😘

Nick [3:48] : ‘And the fruit trees have lost their flowers now which means the little baby fruit will start growing soon and it’ll be so cute Charlie!’

Nick [3:59] : ‘Baby, where are you??? I miss you!’ 😍

Nick took a few pictures of the work-in-progress, sent them to Charlie and then pocketed his phone and got back to work, pulling the few weeds that had already started creeping out. The asparagus had just reached a couple of inches tall, and would be growing at an alarming rate as the temperatures warmed quickly throughout the month of May. Satisfied that he had planted all he could until the frost risk had passed, he went to turn the compost piles again, forcing the decomposition process to speed up with the newly added oxygen. His muscles strained against the weight of the food waste-turned-soil and a thin layer of sweat broke out on his forehead. Again, he wished Charlie was there, but this time so he could show off his strength and tease him a little.

He felt just the right amount of sore now so he packed away all of his gardening equipment into the shed and headed inside for a quick shower. Afterwards, he folded the last of the week's laundry into piles for each kid while he watched a comedy special on Netflix and when he was done, called the kids to come get their clothes to put away. His phone buzzed while he was putting his own away, with a string of messages from Charlie.

Charlie [5:40] : ‘Patience darling, good things come to those who wait’ 😉 ‘I was on a hike with Michael and Isaac today, had to take advantage of the nice weather and the trails finally being clear of the last of the snow.’

Charlie [5:42] : ‘The mountain is so beautiful at this time of year when everything is turning green. From the crest of the hill, you can see so far away. I’ll have to take you up there soon.’

Nick heart-reacted to that immediately.

Nick [5:45] : ‘I’d love to go on a hike with you Charlie! Maybe next month? Depending on the weather?’

Charlie [5:48] : ‘And yeah, I guess I like to garden? I don't really know too much about it tbh. I grow flowers on the balcony, but that’s it? Some years I buy a tomato pot but it usually dies before it can give me any ripe tomatoes?’

Nick [5:52] : ‘I hope we can garden more together later this summer, and next year too. And all the years after.’

Charlie [5:53] : ❤️

Nick knew he was going over-the-top again but he didn’t think it would freak Charlie out anymore. They messaged for a few more minutes before he pocketed his phone and went to start on something for dinner. He’d waited too late to make the baked potatoes he had planned so they’d have to be for another night, so he made a kid and teen favorite, homemade macaroni and cheese with bits of broccoli and chunks of ham in it. When they were little, the kids named it “Dad’s Magic Macaroni” and they still affectionately referred to it as magic, which warmed his heart that they loved something he made for them so much.

While he cooked dinner, he thought back over the conversation he had had with Imogen Friday and how he told Charlie about it on their run yesterday morning. He’d seemed disappointed to not be able to meet the kids as his boyfriend right away, but he was very understanding and conscientious of Nick’s feelings about it. They’d decided to just continue to use the time to get to know each other during the week and see each other a lot while Nick wasn’t with the kids. Nick hoped he could find ways to include Charlie in some family events as a friend before the end of the school term but he wasn’t sure that he could keep his hands to himself around Charlie and might just give it away anyways. So, for now, his alone weeks would have to do.

The week with the kids flew by, the days busy with school, work and the various clubs they were able to rejoin now that baseball season was over. Matt was involved in a history club and Niles a math one; Heidi loved the art club at her school. Nick thought back to his time in school and realized, other than sports, he hadn’t really had access to many school-sponsored activities, which was a shame. He’d been so lonely, even though outwardly he had appeared popular, because he had never felt like he fitted in. He was athletic but also sensitive, a combination many didn’t understand and often teased him about. Then, when he’d had his first crush he thought he might start to fit in with the others and have something to talk about. But when his crush on Tara faded when he met Justin, he assumed he must be gay, until his next crush was a girl again. He spent years, decades even, not understanding that part of himself. At the time, it was generally believed you were either gay or straight with no information about any other way to feel. When he discovered the bisexual label about ten years ago, he was so relieved to finally understand himself.

He was talking to Charlie about this very thing on Friday at Charlie’s apartment after they ate dinner together and were cuddling on the couch. He knew his experience in school was way better than Charlie’s had been, and that there were likely young people all across the spectrum with their own set of unique circumstances. 

“I wonder,” Charlie started to say, “No, never mind, not my business to say.”

“What? I want to know…”

“I was just thinking maybe someone ,” he looked pointedly at Nick here, “should start a club for anyone on the queer spectrum, and allies too, and maybe that club would be able to prevent more kids from feeling like we did as young people.” Charlie shrugged, taking a sip of wine and grinned mischievously at Nick through his eyelashes as he did.

“Damn it Charlie, don’t look at me like that! You know I get all hot and bothered when you do that.” Nick gulped his own glass of wine and searched for his self-control. He wanted to kiss that look off of Charlie’s face and then kiss him in other places as well.

Charlie laughed, “OK OK, I’ll be good,” giving him a quick peck on the lips. “But seriously, are there any kinds of LGBTQ+ clubs at your school?”

Nick shook his head. 

“Well, why not? Maybe you really should do something about that.”

Nick thought about it. He could, he really could. Especially if he arranged it to meet only once or twice a month on his alone weeks. The process to start something like that though was hard and would require more work than he could accomplish for this school year, but he might be able to get the ball rolling for next year. Setting his wine glass down, he reached for Charlie’s as well and placed it next to his on the coffee table in the living room. He pulled Charlie closer into his side and turned towards him, grazing his lips with his own, “You win,” before he fully captured Charlie’s parted lips with his.

What started as a gentle kiss quickly turned passionate as Nick teased into Charlie’s mouth and dragged his tongue along Charlie’s lips and Charlie met him in a desperate exchange. When Charlie’s slid into Nick’s mouth, he gave a gentle suck on Charlie’s tongue and grazed it with his teeth before shifting positions to deepen the kiss further. Charlie’s hands were alternately roving his upper body and fisting in his hoodie, clinging tightly to Nick as if his life depended on it. Nick cupped Charlie’s jaw in his palm and broke the kiss on his lips to trace through his stubble to the pulse point on his neck where he sucked gently and then swiped his tongue to soothe it over and over until Charlie was arching his neck to give Nick further access, causing him to stir his hips at the sensation. 

“Nick…” Charlie sighed.

Nick pulled back, gently tilted Charlie’s head to stare in his eyes. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked breathlessly.

“No, Nick, please don't stop…”

Nick tugged gently with one hand behind his head and the other on his shoulder and brought Charlie down to him, spreading out next to him so they were facing each other lengthwise on the couch. They exchanged soft kisses again before it became heated once more. Nick’s hand drifted along Charlie’s side, and slowly traced the sliver of exposed skin on his stomach before dipping inside and he spread his large hand across Charlie’s back, rubbing gentle circles on his skin as they traded kisses. Charlie gasped at the sensation and shuddered against Nick, his own hand gravitating to the hem of Nick’s hoodie until he was underneath it and delighted in the warm, soft skin of Nick’s chest at his fingertips. 

The distance between their bodies began to feel too much as they shifted even closer to each other, Nick’s lips now returned with abandon to Charlie’s neck. He could feel his cock thickening at the proximity of Charlie’s own, and he rutted slightly forward to seek a bit of friction, a bit of relief. He had thought about Charlie in this way so many times since meeting him, he couldn’t believe he was here now, getting to show Charlie how much he cared about him and Charlie was responding to him with enthusiasm, like he wanted Nick as much as Nick wanted Charlie. 

He groaned in pleasure when Charlie tightened his fingers on his chest and moved to take his lips once more on his own. “Fuck Charlie, you feel so good against me. I can’t believe I get to be with you like this.” Tucking his fingers into Charlie’s curls, he kissed him until he had to stop for air. 

“Nick, can I?” Charlie hesitated, looking nervous, “Can we just, maybe rub against each other a bit? I know we want to take this slow, but I want you so bad.”

Nick groaned loudly in response and shifted his hips so he could pull Charlie down over him, to let him control the movement, so Nick didn’t crush him. Their lips crashed together again and Charlie settled himself over Nick, their clothed cocks coming in contact for the first time, sending sparks through his entire being. Nick rolled his hips up into Charlie’s, tentatively at first to make sure it was what Charlie wanted, until Charlie began to match his movements, seeking a rhythm to maximize the friction without hurting each other. With one hand on Charlie’s neck and the other under Charlie’s sweater gripping his back, he pulled Charlie into him as if he needed him to breathe, and in that moment, he felt as if he did.

Their movements became more frantic, their lips only hovering above the other’s as they rolled and rutted against each other, desperate to please the other, desperate to find release themselves.

“Nick… I think, oh God, Nick, I think I’m going to come…can I come, Nick?”

The sound of Charlie saying his name like that tightened in his core and he barely had time to gasp out, “Oh, Charlie, yes! Please, I want you to come for me…” before Charlie rasped out his name again, shuddering through his release. Seeing Charlie, hearing him gasp his name because he wanted him, Nick groaned loudly as he came undone, gripping Charlie tightly against his chest.

Their mingled breathing slowed to a regular rhythm as they held each other close, kissing slowly and softly before Charlie laid his head gently on his chest. “Oh my God, Nick, that was…” Charlie sighed. “So good…”

“It was… Charlie, I…you’re amazing,” Nick felt boneless and like all coherent thoughts had left his mind, other than Charlie. Charlie was all he could think of, all he could feel in that moment.

They lay cuddled together for a few more minutes, basking in the post-orgasmic glow, before Nick shifted a little and groaned at the sticky situation they both needed to deal with.

“Ugh, yeah, let’s clean up,” Charlie said as he climbed off of Nick and made his way to the bedroom. “I have some wipes in here. You can just…” He indicated the bathroom door to Nick, while he turned into his own room, closing the door behind him. 

Nick cleaned himself up and just decided to stuff his messy underwear in the pocket of his hoodie, he’d wash it later, rather than attempt to wear them home filled with cum. He washed his hands and caught his reflection in the mirror over the vanity. His cheeks were still flushed, his hair disheveled and eyes wide, he looked blissed out. And he was, god, he was. It had been years since he had had this feeling with another person and it was everything he wanted. Suddenly, he needed to get back to Charlie, and needed to hold him.

Wrenching the door open, he hurried back into the living room to see Charlie looking nervous. Nick’s heart sank in his chest. (Had he done something wrong?)  

“Char? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? … Did we do something you didn’t want? I’m so sorry if I overstepped or presumed…”

“No! Nick, no that’s not it… I was just worried about you , that I had pushed you and you didn’t feel like you could say no in the moment?”

Nick shook his head vigorously side-to-side, “Absolutely not, I loved every second of what just happened.”

Charlie released a shaky sigh and smiled sheepishly at him, “Why are we like this?”

Nick giggled, “I have no idea, but I kind of like us…”

“Me too.”

They spent the next hour cuddling on the couch, talking quietly about nothing in particular, tales of their pasts, dreams of the future. They made plans for spending the weekend together and the errands each would need to take care of. As 10pm rolled around, Nick began to feel sleepy and knew it was time to head back to his apartment. He hadn’t brought any of his running attire with him, otherwise he would have just stayed the night and gone with Charlie in the morning but they had time for all of that. In two weeks maybe…Nick knew he and Charlie were falling fast in their feelings but he wanted to take their time with all the other stuff. He didn’t want either of them to lose themselves in the relationship, to invest so much in the other that they lost who they were as individuals. A slow pace for all the other milestones was alright with them, they had all the time in the world to get where they were going.   

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie had not come in his pants like that since he was in college but with Nick, he just couldn’t help himself. It had felt so good to be pressed against him and knowing it wasn’t just sex, it meant something to them, and his feelings had overflowed and taken over his body. It was refreshing for Charlie that they were taking things slowly, moving in a consistent direction but not making their relationship only physical and sex-focused. It was clear to them both that their connection, their relationship, was the part that bound them together and was their primary focus moving forward. 

With that in mind, Charlie wanted to spend the next weeks really getting to know Nick in a deeper way, now that they had crossed the line of casual interests into emotional attachment. He’d never felt comfortable enough with any of his previous boyfriends to really expose his insecurities like that. He knew the only way to develop a long term relationship was to be honest and not hide behind his flirty confident gay persona. And he wanted it to be long term with Nick, so he had forced himself to open up, to be truthful, and he was so happy he had.

Each day they would send each other ‘good morning’ texts with some sort of endearment attached and they’d chat throughout the day. Their messages still contained flirty vibes, silly memes or casual observations about life, but now they frequently led into discussions of their pasts, what they believed about religion or politics, and what their hopes for the future were. Charlie found his days passed quicker than ever before since he was no longer simply going through the motions of work and life. He felt like he was more aware and invested in himself than in the past.

Even his friends and family had started noticing the change in him. Tao and Elle commented that he seemed excited about life, that he spoke with more pride in himself, and they were so happy for him. Isaac teased him for always being in a good mood and said he needed to calm the fuck down and stop talking about Nick whenever Isaac wanted to read. Tori, who seemed to know him better than he knew himself, mentioned the difference in him one Thursday morning a couple of weeks after he had shared about his eating disorder with Nick.

“Morning,” Tori said as she slid a cup of coffee in front of Charlie at his desk before their morning meeting.

“Morn’” he replied, not looking up from his phone, grinning down at something Nick had said.

“Charlie…”

“Mhmmm…”

“Charlie.”

He giggled at his phone, put it down and faced Tori, “What’s up?”

“Talking to Nick again, I presume?”

He nodded, unable to keep the smile off his face.

She smiled. “He really makes you happy, I can see it. And he makes you a better you, if that makes sense. Like, you haven’t changed who you are for him, you’re just like, a fuller version of you. It’s like you are really living now, and not just existing.”

Charlie gazed at her pensively. “You know, the thing is, I was really happy with my life before I met Nick. I loved my friends, my work, and my family. I loved the band and book club, running and hiking. And I still love all those things, even the ones Nick isn’t involved in, but somehow they are richer than they were before…Something about being with Nick, makes me want to be the best me I can be, not for him, but for me…I don’t know how to properly explain it.”

“No, I get what you mean actually. It’s like, before I met Michael, I was fine with who I was even though no one really understood me. But then I met him, and he understood me in a way that made me want to be even more of myself. Like, not to change who I was, just be more of who I was? And the longer we’ve been together, the more I feel like we bring that out in each other.”

Charlie nodded, lost in his thoughts. “I guess, I never really thought I would be so comfortable with someone that I would even let myself be fully known, so I didn’t have any idea that being that vulnerable could make me feel more whole like it has. I don’t think I even realized it was missing, to be honest.”

Tori reached over from her seat next to his desk and grasped his hand in hers, squeezing tightly. “I’m so happy for you, and I love you so much.”

He returned the gesture and said, “Same.”

The rest of the staff began to trickle in and their day continued on. Charlie was placing an implant that morning so he tried to shake off his introspective thoughts and focus on making sure he provided the patient with the best possible outcome. His phone buzzed with a message from Nick as the morning meeting wrapped up and Charlie was gowning up for the surgery.

He had confided his anxiety to Nick about this particular implant placement and the sleep he had lost worrying about it. His heart clenched at the video Nick had sent him - a clip from Schitt’s Creek when David was lip-syncing “You're Simply the Best” to Patrick - and he could feel Nick’s encouragement soothe him.

He quickly sent a hug emoji back to Nick and turned his phone to silent so he could focus on the day. He was so grateful for the little things Nick did for him just because he cared, not because he wanted something from him. He was determined to always show Nick the same in return. 

Later that day, he was surprised when he overheard Isaac on the phone say, “Oh hi Nick!” and his brow furrowed in concern that something had happened to him, or one of his kids had gotten hurt at the first summer league practice that he knew was today. He walked quietly over to Isaac’s desk, not wanting to disturb him, and watched as Isaac started clicking through the schedule, murmuring quietly to Nick on the phone as he did. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t calling in an emergency, but apparently to schedule his family's cleanings like he’d been planning to do. 

Charlie went back to his office, leaving Isaac to do his job and quickly scanned over the upcoming work week like he usually did before he went home on Thursday. Nick was at the house with his kids that upcoming week so he knew he would only see him on Saturday morning to run and for coffee with the group. Charlie missed him when he was occupied with the kids but he didn’t resent it at all, in fact, he was grateful for it in many ways. For one, he loved that Nick was such an invested dad and his kids meant so much to him. But also, he felt like the forced time apart every other week helped them keep a semblance of their individuality, to prevent them from becoming too dependent on each other so soon. Charlie could easily see how that could happen to them, given the speed at which their feelings had developed, so he felt like this was a good protection for them. 

He heard Isaac hang up the phone and then a couple of moments later, popped his head round the corner into Charlie's office. 

“Nick and his whole family are coming in for cleanings in two weeks. Somehow we had openings they could all fit into at once…” Isaac said with a twinkle in his eye, “I can’t wait to meet them. I guess the one in college will be back and is coming too.”

“Yeah, Nick said he gets back next weekend. It's technically Imogen’s week with them but because he’s been gone, they are all going to have dinner together on Saturday.”

Isaac nodded. “Well, I just have to go check out the last patient from Melissa’s cleaning and then I’m heading home. We’re still on for our hike and movie night on Saturday?”

Charlie nodded. Elle and Tao had been so busy with work that they hadn’t been able to have a virtual movie night in a couple of months and had planned this one way in advance. They watch the same movie together and chat about it afterwards. It was the best they could do to re-create their school-time bonding activity now that they didn’t live in the same city.

Charlie signed out of the computer, locked the office after everyone left, and began his walk home. There was a steady rain falling that he hoped wouldn’t deter the hike on Saturday but it was supposed to be dry again by then. He took a quick selfie of himself with his hair all wet, the curls stretched longer across his forehead than they usually did, and sent it to Nick. Nick responded with a pic of him and the boys soaked after playing baseball in the rain for the past hour. Charlie grinned at their happy smiles, giddy despite the cold wetness. (God, he was gone for this man).  

The next two weeks felt like they flew by. Every day, Charlie could feel the summer getting closer, the weather was warmer and the days were longer. Nick told him that the vegetable starts he had planted a month ago had begun to grow and Charlie had been promised fresh asparagus for dinner soon. Nick had regaled him with his frustrations of trying to get the kids to help him in the garden, or even to do anything; they were all fighting the laziness and procrastination that seemed to hit students at the end of the school year. Charlie was eager to meet all of Nick’s kids since he had spent the past nearly two months hearing about them on a daily basis, but he was patiently waiting until Imogen felt comfortable with her kids meeting a new person in Nick’s life. He’d meet them all at their cleaning appointments, but he knew that would be as their dentist, as Ryan’s uncle, and as Nick’s friend. Charlie was especially excited to meet Sean while he was home from college.

Nick had told Charlie the long coming out and self-discovery process that Sean had gone through, and was still going through, to be comfortable with himself. Nick spoke of the time when Sean first thought he was bisexual and then gay, and how he had initially used non-binary pronouns before settling into himself as a transgender man. He had cried when he told Charlie how he had found Sean bandaging his arms one evening in his attempt to hide the injuries he had inflicted on himself when he was at his lowest point. Nick had talked about the search for a therapist and beginning the transition to “he/him” pronouns and how those two events had saved his son from his deep despair; he had raved about the positive changes he saw in Sean after he had been allowed to start taking testosterone when he turned 18. Nick’s love, pride and endless affection for Sean, for all his kids really, was one of the things that had drawn Charlie to him so strongly in the first place, and he couldn’t wait to finally see them together.

Charlie woke up early on Wednesday, the day Nick’s family was coming to the practice for their appointments, his stomach a bundle of nerves. He knew he would need to act professional but friendly (but not overly friendly) in front of Nick’s kids since they did not know they were together and Charlie was worried that they would see right through him because, apparently, he hadn’t ever been good at hiding his attraction for Nick. He struggled to eat even half of his oatmeal and he made the choice to bring the banana with him to eat after they were finished, when he hoped he would be calm enough to eat again. The walk to work and the soothing music he listened to on the way helped ease his worries a little bit but they flared right back up again when he got to the office and saw all their names lined up filling the hygiene schedules that morning. 

During the morning meeting, his staff looked like they wanted to tease him about Nick but after seeing Charlie’s anxious face, collectively decided against it. They kept the discussion as brief as possible, just noting the X-rays they would need to take on everyone since it was their first time being seen in this practice. The two middle boys had the first appointments so they could leave for school afterwards, followed by Sean and Heidi, and Nick had the final one. Charlie would have to hold it together for three hours, keep his hands to himself and not look lovingly into his eyes, and he felt like it would be the longest three hours of his life.

Once the team dispersed, Charlie went to help Tori set up for their morning fillings and crown prep, trying to distract himself from the sounds of Nick’s family talking softly in the waiting room while Nick filled out all their paperwork. Tori kept glancing at him and trying not to laugh, obviously enjoying his struggle to contain his desire to run into the waiting room and kiss Nick senseless. He shook his head discreetly at her, and told her to get their patient so he would have something to keep himself occupied. Charlie heard her greet Nick, and Matt, who she knew, before she brought their filling patient into their operatory.

Charlie quickly texted Nick from his office before he went into his own appointment. 

Charlie [8:07]: ‘You need to stop being a sexy dad out there, your voice is doing things to me and I have to be a grown up and work.’ 

Nick [8:08]: ‘You think I’m sexy? Maybe I need to come into your office and show you how sexy I can be?’

(Jesus fucking Christ, Nick is going to be the death of me), he thought as he hurriedly replied and then pushed down on his thickening cock. (Not now…)

Charlie [8:09]: ‘Stop!!!! I have to do a filling on a elderly lady right now…’

Nick [8:10]: ‘I know! I was talking to her earlier, she’s so sweet, Char!’

Charlie chuckled at how adorable and kind Nick was, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be with him.

Nick [8:12]: ‘I promise to be good from now on…at the office of course.’ 😉

Charlie sighed and set his phone down and went into the bathroom to splash some water on his face to tame his flaming cheeks. He was shrugging his arms into his scrub jacket when Tori came in to get him, with a smile on her face.

“I love this lady, she’s so spunky. I think she has the hots for Nick,” Tori laughed.

“I mean…” he shrugged, “she has a point.”

They both chuckled and headed into the operatory to do the filling on Doris. He could hear the sounds of Rachel and Melissa chatting with the boys while they cleaned their teeth, both of them sounding alarmingly like younger versions of Nick. He pulled his mind onto the task at hand and finished the easy filling just as Rachel arrived to tell him she was ready for the exam on Matt. He nodded in acknowledgement and went back to his office to look over their X-rays before the exams while Tori dismissed Doris. He didn’t find any cavities for either boy, although he noted that Matt likely needed his wisdom teeth out that upcoming summer. 

He made it through both of their exams seamlessly, talked to both of them about summer baseball and Matt’s upcoming college search and Niles’ interest in drumming, after Charlie had mentioned he played in a band.

“Maybe I can teach you a bit this summer, if you like,” Charlie offered. “I have a set in my garage that you could practice on, if your parents agree. It helped me a lot when I was your age and dealing with stuff.” Niles had enthusiastically agreed and Charlie felt like he had scored popularity points with him at least.

The other kids were getting their cleanings done while Charlie and Tori worked on a crown prep. He stepped out to do their exams, noting Sean also needed his wisdom teeth out and Heidi had a couple of cavities she needed filled. He talked with Heidi a bit about the fantasy book she was reading and recommended similar ones he had liked at her age. Nick had told Sean about their running group and he was eager to join them whenever he wasn’t on shift at the coffee shop he worked at during school breaks. 

By that point, Charlie was feeling pretty confident he had made a good impression on all of them and that none of them had any idea he was actually dating their dad. It was going so well that he let his guard down and nearly threw himself into Nick’s arms when he went out to the waiting room to talk to him about the kids' exams. He barely restrained himself in time, instead inviting Nick into his office so he could “show him their X-rays” and closed the door before slamming Nick against it and captured his lips in a searing kiss. His hands slid up into Nick’s hair and tugged gently at the roots, causing Nick to gasp before he placed his hands on Charlie’s shoulders and forced space between them.

“Char, I have to go lay down in the cleaning chair with your employee in 5 minutes. We can't…” Nick said, way too reasonably for Charlie, despite his widened pupils giving away what he would really rather do instead.

Charlie exhaled forcefully and nodded, ashamed of himself for his lack of restraint.

“Right, OK, I should show you the X-rays then though, since that's what I am supposed to be doing here with you.”

Sitting at his desk, he pointed out both Sean and Matt’s wisdom teeth and how they would soon be encroaching on the neighboring teeth, and recommended having them extracted while it was still fairly simple. He showed Nick both of Heidi’s cavities and Nick agreed to schedule to fix those right away. When Charlie stood to finish his crown prep, Nick hugged him tightly and gave him a gentle peck before he stepped away and opened the door, loudly declaring as he did, “Thanks so much Dr. Spring, I really appreciate you explaining all of that to me,” winking at Charlie as he went back to the waiting room until it was time for his cleaning.

Charlie shut his eyes tightly, curled his lips in and tried desperately not to laugh out loud. Taking a deep breath to control himself, he straightened his scrubs, affixed his mask securely over his face and picked up his loupes from his desk before making his way to complete the crown. Tori stared at him as he walked back in, her eyes twinkling in silent merriment, as if she knew what had happened behind closed doors in his office just now. He sat quickly in his chair, pulled on his gloves and finished the prep work so Tori could scan it for the lab. He apologized to his patient for the delay and assured her they were almost done. 

Once Charlie had finished the restoration, he made his way back to his office, purposefully avoiding Isaac’s eyes as he did so. He could feel them follow him until he was out of sight and he swore he could hear Isaac laughing softly at him. (He was never letting Nick back in his office.) He could hear that Rachel had started his cleaning so he opened Nick’s chart and began his evaluation of his X-rays. Despite himself, he was a little bit gleeful to discover Nick also had several cavities and he was definitely going to give him shit about it. 

It had been a busy morning so he decided to help Tori in the sterile room as things were likely piling up and it would distract him from Nick in the next room, his gorgeous body stretched out in the chair. He emptied the ultrasonic, which removed build up from the instruments after use, and then packaged them in their kits for the sterilizer. Most dentists didn’t help their assistants like this, but he considered them a team and he would do it even if Tori wasn’t his sister. Plus, it kept him busy throughout the day when he didn’t want to just sit at his desk between patients or interrupt Isaac while he was busy reading. 

Once he was finished, he headed to the exam rooms and started with Melissa’s patient who had excellent teeth and didn’t need anything other than a cleaning again in six months. Charlie chatted with the patient about their upcoming summer plans before saying goodbye and went to Rachel’s room, and Nick. 

“Well, well, Mr. Nelson, you have a few cavities that I am going to have to fill…” he teased as he went in, trying very hard not to add a tone to his voice that would make the double entendre of that statement apparent to anyone besides himself and Nick. From below him in the chair, he saw Nick’s eyes widen and he quickly shoved his hands into his pockets to hide his reaction. Rachel’s back was turned towards the computer so she couldn’t see Nick but Charlie was pretty sure her shoulders were shaking as she tried not to laugh. (Ah, so she got it then. He’d have to apologize later for his unprofessionalism.) He smiled wickedly at Nick and then quickly finished his exam, dictating to Rachel the fillings he needed. He softly said goodbye to Nick and that he would see him later that evening.

By the time Nick was done with Rachel, Charlie was busy with his next patient and didn’t see him again. Nick was coming over for dinner and a movie that night so he was glad the rest of the day passed quickly.

Just after 6pm, Nick knocked softly on his front door and Charlie hurried to let him in. Once he had removed his shoes, he reached his arms around Charlie and hefted him up against his chest and Charlie responded by wrapping his legs around Nick’s waist like a koala. They kissed passionately against the entryway wall, Charlie grinding himself against Nick breathlessly. Nick fisted his hands in Charlie’s t-shirt and spread his legs a bit for more leverage to hold him up, changing angles to kiss him deeper, their tongues battling for position. 

“God, Nick…” Charlie sighed, “I’ve missed you.” 

“You saw me like, what? Eight hours ago at your office?” Nick responded, connecting impatiently with Charlie’s lips again.

Charlie gripped tightly around Nick’s neck, one hand lightly scratching into his hair while the other flexed on his shoulder. He groaned and passed his tongue along Nick’s upper lip again and again until Nick was panting his name, and pressing his hips into Charlie’s own.

They were startled apart by the loud, incessant beeping of the oven timer, Nick losing his grip on Charlie as he quickly got his feet under him and hurried to the kitchen to silence it. Nick followed behind him, his erection tenting his joggers in front of him as he walked. Charlie glanced back at him and swallowed at the sight, his mind dreaming up all the things he wanted to do with that cock. (We’ll get there, there’s no rush) he reminded himself, or rather, reminded his own cock which had other ideas about the rush it was in. He turned away from Nick quickly and grabbed his oven mitts to pull the lasagna he’d prepared the night before out of the oven. It was one of his favorites and he hoped Nick liked it. Nick had brought lettuce from his garden for them to prepare a salad with.

“Wine?” Charlie offered which Nick gratefully accepted.

“It was an annoying day at school. Which is weird because I wasn’t even there half the day but I had multiple emails from parents complaining about their kids' recent scores I had to deal with and I was so frustrated! It’s like, if your son or daughter doesn’t study, they’re not going to do great but how is it my fault?”

“So a big glass for you then, darling?” Charlie smiled. “I had a great day at work today. This incredibly hot man came in for a cleaning and he kissed me in my office! Can you believe it?” Charlie gasped in mock outrage.

Nick laughed and shrugged. “Well, you must have looked so good in your scrubs and made such a good impression on his kids, he just couldn’t help himself.”

Smiling at each other, they grabbed their plates and dished up the lasagna and salad and carried their wine glasses to the table. They talked more about their day and discussed what movie to watch. Charlie didn’t really care what they watched, as long as it wasn’t Marvel, because he mostly just planned to cuddle and make out with Nick anyways. They settled on Notting Hill which they both agreed was the perfect comfort movie, because who doesn’t love Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant?

They cuddled up on Charlie’s couch, their feet up on the coffee table, a cozy blue blanket stretched over their legs and stocking feet. Surprisingly, they actually watched the whole movie while stroking hands and sharing occasional kisses. Charlie could feel the tension growing between them as the movie drew to a close. Their entwined hands lay across Nick’s lap and Charlie began to occasionally brush his pinky gently across Nick’s cock, which had slowly been thickening as they watched, causing Nick to gasp. Feeling powerful and emboldened by Nick’s reaction, he stroked two fingers up and down several times before pausing at the tip and giving attention there. Nick shifted noticeably in his seat and rubbed his thumb faster on Charlie’s hand. Charlie laid his head on Nick’s shoulder and rested there a moment before turning his lips down to kiss along the arch until he reached his neck and began planting feather light kisses everywhere he could reach. He felt Nick’s pulse begin to race and his breathing became more sporadic.

He heard the music start to play as the credits rolled signalling the end of the movie and blindly groped for the remote and, once he located it, swiftly turned off the TV, before focusing back on Nick.

“Is this OK, Nick?” Charlie breathed, waiting for Nick’s consent before he started kissing his neck again, gently so it didn’t leave a mark. He then made his way gradually to Nick's ear lobe, remembering his reaction to that particular spot before, and closed his teeth there, smiling when Nick let out a deep groan. He made his way along Nick’s jaw until Nick turned towards him and met his lips urgently. They released their hold on each other’s hands and wound them around each other, Nick putting just enough pressure on one side to urge Charlie to climb into his lap, and he happily complied. He sank slowly onto Nick’s legs, not wanting to crush him, then pulled him back for another litany of kisses, tongues searching and sucking. Charlie couldn’t hold back his groan any longer. He felt on fire with his need for Nick, to show Nick how much he cared for him and let Nick show him in return.

He broke away and leveled his eyes with Nick’s, whose normally honey colored irises were blown out with his own desire. “Nick, what do you want? How can I make you feel good?”

Nick moaned loudly and grabbed Charlie, pulling him back for a firm kiss before releasing him to stare at him and ask, “Can we, I mean, can I touch you, Char? I really want to touch you.”

Charlie nodded, “Of course Nick, I want that…I want to touch you too, if that's OK with you?”

“Fuck, Charlie, yes, yes that’s OK.”

They crashed together again, pausing only for Charlie to stretch to the side table and grab the box of tissues to bring within easy reach. Their lips lightly touching, sharing the same air, Charlie tentatively stroked his fingers along the hemline of Nick’s joggers, dipping his fingers inside as Nick instinctively bucked up towards him. 

“Wait, Charlie, wait.” Charlie immediately withdrew his hand and looked at Nick with concern. “I just, I think I want to touch you first because once you touch me like that, I’m afraid I won't last very long and I want to make you feel good too.”

Charlie released the breath he’d been holding in fear that this was too much for Nick and nodded. He placed that hand up on Nick’s other shoulder and leaned into Nick with a tender kiss and rose onto his knees a bit to give him better access. Carefully and tenderly, Nick pulled Charlie’s thin sweatpants and briefs down to his hips until his cock sprung free. He gently brushed his fingers over the taunt, smooth skin of his penis before taking Charlie fully in hand and began to stroke him, spreading the precum beaded at the tip in a circle around it. Charlie whimpered and then moaned loudly as Nick continued exploring his length, trailing his finger along the underside, alternating from soft to firm pressure, attuning himself to Charlie’s responses. Nick’s entire focus seemed to be on Charlie’s pleasure, as if he enjoyed it as much as his own.

Charlie kissed Nick again urgently, his hips becoming more erratic, and realizing he was on the brink of coming, he stopped moving and placed his hand over Nick’s.

“Nick, I want to touch you now…please, Nick…I’m so close, but I want to do this together. I want to make you feel good now too…” he panted heavily into Nick’s chest, trying to hold himself back until Nick gave his permission.

“Oh my God, Charlie, I’m so close too…you’re so beautiful like this and I want to make you feel so good. Please, please baby, please touch me. I won't last long…”

Charlie felt his whole body light up and he nearly came right then hearing Nick call him “baby” and the desperate way he wanted him. With a calming breath, he wiggled Nick’s joggers down below his hips, gasping at the gorgeous cock that greeted him, and tenderly stroked it. With his other hand, he collected the precum on his fingertip and brought it to his lips and into his mouth, stroking the other up and down Nick as he sucked his own finger, tasting him for the first time.

“Jesus Charlie…” Nick gasped. “Oh my god, fuck, Charlie, I’m going to come already…” he panted as he reached for Charlie again, stroking him quickly and lifting himself rapidly into Charlie’s fist before crying out and whimpering his name. Charlie felt like his heart was bursting out of chest, as the tension coiled deep within him and he came with a shout, “Fuck, Nick, oh god, Nick!” before collapsing onto his chest.

They cuddled together for a few minutes, placing soft kisses as they caught their breath, before they reached for the tissues to wipe themselves clean. They shifted to lay wrapped in each other's arms, talking softly, until Nick’s phone buzzed with his reminder to go home since they both had to work early the next day. Charlie reluctantly disentangled himself from Nick's warm embrace and pulled Nick to his feet, walking him to the door to say goodnight. 

Once he was alone, Charlie quickly made his preparations for the next day, did his teeth and skin care routine and turned off all the lights and buried himself deep in the blankets on his bed. He marveled at the slow progression their physical relationship was taking, even when their feelings seemed to have charged ahead. In the past, he had always felt this pressure to become intensely physical right at the start, which had often gotten in the way of building a strong foundation. With Nick, they were building the foundation, and adding the physical intimacy as they went, giving it more meaning and leaving Charlie more satisfied than he could ever remember in the past. As these thoughts swirled in his head, he smiled softly and slowly drifted into a blissful sleep.

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick didn’t think he had ever felt lighter or more content with his life than he did right now. He had a stable career at a school where he felt appreciated and he loved his students (even the ones that drove him crazy sometimes!) , his relationship with Imogen had shifted from spouses to friends/co-parents without the usual animosity that could come with divorce, their children were healthy and amazing individuals, and he had Charlie. In the two months Nick had known Charlie, he felt like his entire worldview had shifted from merely existing to truly living. Everything in his life up to that point had been following an expected path; with Charlie, he finally felt like he was choosing the direction he wanted to go.

Everything was just easy with Charlie, even the hard conversations they'd had, it had felt safe to have them because they knew they supported each other. Nick loved that they could have serious conversations one day where they were in tears, and the next day be laughing at dick jokes together. Their connection on every level was what he had always wanted, what he had always hoped to have with every previous partner, but it had always felt out of reach in one way or another. Not with Charlie.

Which was why Nick had started to think his feelings had gone from crush to interest, to intense affection, and now, to love. There just wasn’t any other word Nick could think of to encompass the breadth of his feelings for Charlie, the way he craved him, the way he wanted to immerse himself in Charlie. Yeah, Nick was certain he loved Charlie, and he thought Charlie likely loved him too, but he wasn’t sure whether it was too soon to say it yet. 

Instead, Nick focused on showing him he loved him in every way he could. He sent him messages to let him know he was thinking about him, he cut a bunch of his early summer flowers and made him a bouquet, he dropped off his favorite coffee on the way to work, and he touched him in the ways he knew Charlie loved. 

Now that the calendar had flipped to June, Nick only had two more weeks to go before school finished for the summer and he could tell his kids about Charlie, introduce him as his boyfriend (not their dentist!), and hopefully, begin to integrate their lives more. The fact that Imogen’s requested waiting time had passed so quickly was a testament to how busy he was, because, at the time, it had seemed like it was eternity to wait but now he felt like it had sped by. Between end of the year assignments and preparing for final exams, summer baseball, and his garden, plus his time with the kids and just the mundane tasks of life, he had hardly had time to mentally bemoan waiting to introduce Charlie. Maybe that was a good thing, in the long run, because it gave them more time to themselves, to get closer on their own, before they included their kids in the relationship.

The last weekend in May had been a holiday but their baseball team had hosted a two-day tournament and so they hadn't had the chance to go to the lake like they would have liked. Sarah had called Nick after the tournament and proposed an alternative BBQ lake day in two weeks to celebrate the end of the school year and said she would keep the kids overnight afterwards with David’s kids so he and Imogen could meet Charlie together. 

Nick was thrilled at the idea of spending time with his kids at the lake, although not so much at the idea of spending time with his brother. While they had both been raised going to church regularly, Nick had lost any interest in religion by the end of high school but David had gone the other way. He became deeply entrenched in extremely conservative religious viewpoints, including his blatant disgust and disapproval of Nick’s bisexuality and the fact that Nick had gotten divorced. David had even gone so far in his self-righteous beliefs as to become an “internet missionary” (whatever that meant!) and had millions of followers around the world, a fact he was very proud of. David’s two kids, Nick’s niece and nephew, had been raised to believe anything but being straight and cisgender was sinful and the tension that put between the two families was palpable when they were together.

Nick had reluctantly agreed because the kids loved to spend time at the lake swimming, reading on the beach and laying in the summer sun. Plus, it gave a good excuse for Nick to have the private conversation he and Charlie wanted to have with Imogen, away from prying eyes and ears. And with all the activities available to them at the lake house, he should be able to avoid David enough for it to be tolerable, and it would make his mom happy to have them all there together.

All of Nick’s hopes for a civil family summer day went out the window the first Thursday of the month when he received a text from Imogen with a video attached.

Imogen [5:45] : ‘Have you seen this? Don’t watch it where the kids can hear it.’ 🫂 😡

Nick’s eyebrows creased together in confusion of what would make Imogen so mad as she was usually a pretty relaxed person, until he clicked the video icon, it redirected to YouTube and his brother's face filled his phone screen, a rainbow flag as the backdrop. The title of the video was “Why God Hates Pride” and it already had thousands of views, likes and shares. Nick’s heart sank and then thundered angrily. He couldn’t watch this, not right now when he was preparing dinner for the kids for the last day this week with them before he spent the final week of school at the apartment. 

His hands shook as he sent a reply to Imogen.

Nick [5:48] : ‘OMG, Im…’

Nick [5:50] : ‘I don’t think I can watch that right now, not when they’re around, I’m making dinner.’

Nick [5:52] : ‘I’ll watch later…can I call you after I do?’

He saw the three jumping dots indicating she was responding and he chewed his lip in anger at his brother.

Imogen [5:55] : ‘Of course you can Nick. So we can support each other about the kids, but I think you should call Charlie too, so he can support YOU.’

Nick let out a shaky breath, knowing she was right, because she wasn’t his support anymore, Charlie was. 

Nick [5:58] : ‘Yeah, you're right. OK, the burgers are done, I’ll call later.’

Nick was distracted all through dinner to the point where the kids asked him if he wasn’t feeling well because he was eating so slowly. His mind was on that damn video and the hatred he knew he would be subjected to hearing about his family, himself and the man he loved, all from his own brother . He brushed it off in front of them, pasting on a smile and tried to pretend everything was ok. They obviously didn’t really believe him because they all pitched in to help clean up the kitchen and went directly to their respective rooms to either finish homework, study or read, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He knew he just needed to watch it so he could confront what needed confronting, so he got his earbuds and went to sit on the porch to watch in private.

What he heard and saw in the video was something he knew he would never fully recover from. His brother spent an hour preaching at his church, on the fucking first Sunday of June (Pride month!) about how God hates pride, but instead of talking about the true meaning of pride, he used it as a way to relate it to homosexual behaviour in the Bible. The entire sermon was David quoting the clobber verses and why being queer was abhorrent in God’s eyes. But the worst part wasn’t just that he said those things, it was that he tried to act like he said it in love for people, to save them from their sins. He spouted hate but then claimed it was in the name of love. 

Nick felt sick; he had to swallow convulsively to prevent himself from throwing up at just the knowledge that anyone could treat others this way, let alone his own brother . He didn’t know how it was possible for him to stand up there in front of all those people, to post this for his millions of followers, knowing he was preaching against real people, his own nephews, his own family. How dare he? And how dare he claim this was love, in any sense of the word?

Nick shakily pulled out his phone and dialed Imogen’s number. She answered immediately and listened to him rage his frustration and anger, making small noises of agreement when necessary before she finally interrupted him to say, “Nick, I don’t want our kids to ever see him again. They should not have to be subjected to that kind of hate or forced to have a relationship with someone who feels that way about them, even if that person is their family. I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother, but it just can’t happen again… You can see him again if you want, but not the kids. I know we said that we wouldn’t make these kinds of demands regarding the kids after the divorce… but…”

Nick rushed on to assure her he agreed, he would deal with that. She didn’t need to worry that he would put his kids’ safety and mental health above any family obligation. She sighed in relief and then told him gently, “I think, now, the person you need to comfort you is Charlie. I want to, Nick, I just, I can’t be that person for you anymore, not when you have him. He’s your person now Nick, not me.” 

Nick nodded to himself; she was right. He thanked her and hung up quickly, hurrying inside to tell the kids to get themselves into bed that night and he had an errand he had to run. He threw an Adidas hoodie over his t-shirt and pulled his running shoes on, knowing he needed to burn off some of this emotion that threatened to explode out of him before he saw Charlie. He would run to Charlie’s; Charlie would bring him home later, he was sure.

Calling out a quick goodbye and “I love you”, Nick raced out the door, locking it behind him, and raced down the block, not even taking the time to text Charlie he was coming, not even to check the time, not even to check the weather.

Nick was halfway to Charlie’s apartment when he heard the first rumble of thunder. (Fuck…) He tried to pick up the pace but he was already feeling the strain on his lungs from the run, his heart not pacing accurately due to his anxiety and the anger and the hurt and all the other emotions he couldn’t even name at that point. The sky flashed and then boomed moments later and Nick really wished he had driven to Charlie’s as he could feel the storm coming in the air. He made it another half a block before the sky opened up and he was soaked within a minute, the rain dripping off his hair into his eyes and filling his shoes so they squelched with each step he ran. 

He was desperately out of breath when he finally saw Charlie’s apartment come into view and, already soaked anyways, slowed to a walk to try and catch his breath before he startled Charlie with his unexpected visit. He hurried across the street and entered Charlie’s apartment complex, passed the first building where Tori’s family lived, and made his way into the next one and up the stairs to Charlie’s door. He took a shaky breath in, feeling the tears start to well in his eyes as the emotions threatened to spill over, and knocked hesitantly on Charlie’s door, praying he was home. He waited a minute, feeling his stress level rise, the first tears leaking out now, before he knocked once more.

Seconds later, the door flung open, and a stunned Charlie took one look at him and exclaimed, “Nick! What are you doing here? Are you OK? What the fuck happened?”, his fear evident as his voice grew progressively louder.

“Ummm, I just wanted to talk to you, see you, in person,” Nick hiccoughed through his tears.

Charlie reached for him, “Just come in, you’re soaked…did you run all the way here?”

“Yeah,” he stuttered, “I was in such a hurry to get to you, I forgot to check the weather before I left.”

Charlie held him in his arms, rubbing his hands up and down his back, trying to ease some warmth into him, and pulled him into his apartment. Nick felt so overwhelmed at the moment, he wasn’t even sure he would be able to explain his distress if he tried. Charlie seemed to sense that and drew Nick further into his home and into the bathroom where he slowly stripped his wet clothes off him and dried him off with a fresh towel from the cabinet. Nick’s entire body was wracked with sobs now, he didn’t even know if they were from anger or from sadness, it was all just too much . Charlie disappeared for several seconds, returning with a pair of his longer running shorts in his hand.

“I think this is all I have that will fit you darling, can I, can I help you put them on?” he asked hesitantly, obviously unsure if that would be crossing a line, but he needed to take care of Nick. 

Nick nodded and hugged his arms around his stomach, shivering from his damp skin, and raised each foot as Charlie eased his boxers off him and slid his own shorts on Nick. They were snug, but not uncomfortable. Nick sniffed, and rubbed the towel through his hair again before looking up at Charlie and promptly burst into tears again.

“Oh Nick,” Charlie soothed and took his hand, walking into his bedroom and pulling back the covers, which Nick crawled under immediately. Charlie slid in next to him, drew Nick’s head to his chest and allowed him to cry, his worry evident on his face at the possible seriousness of the situation. He waited patiently for Nick to calm before asking what was wrong.

“Are you alright Nick? Is someone hurt or sick? I’m really worried…can you tell me what’s happened?

Nick took a shuddering breath in and exhaled slowly before he reassured Charlie, “Everyone’s fine…I just, I’m so upset Charlie, I almost don't know where to start.”

“Maybe the beginning?” Charlie said, with a soft smile.

Nick laughed at that, which felt good actually, to laugh, because it was something Imogen always said to him when he felt at a loss for words. He waved off Charlie’s inquisitive look at his reaction and sighed.

“Well, you know how I’ve told you about my homophobic brother and his supposed ‘mission work’?” Charlie nodded, he had been shocked the two were related, given what he knew of Nick. 

“The motherfucker just posted today, someone sent it to Imogen I guess, an hour long sermon he gave for Pride Month, except it wasn’t in support of LGBTQ people, no, it was an hour of hateful speech about how ‘God hates pride’ and ‘love the sinner, not the sin’. He tried to act all loving about it, but I can guarantee you not a single queer person sitting in that audience or who watches it online feels anything but shame and rejection by God.”

Nick’s eyes welled up again. “I remember those kinds of sermons when I was younger and them causing me to hate myself because of who I was and I’ve struggled with that my whole life since then. It's a big part of why I don’t believe in God at all anymore.”

Charlie stroked Nick’s back and held him tighter, subtly nodding his understanding. He had heard the same things growing up, even though his family hadn’t been religious.

“And then! God, Charlie, he went on to talk about trans people ‘mutilating God’s creation’ and God had only created the two binaries, that trans people were defying the natural order of God’s law. He has a trans relative and he can’t even recognize their humanity! I mean, what the actual fuck?!?! I’m both heartbroken that he could say those things and also violently angry that he did.”

“Anyways, that’s it. I was just so upset, and I didn’t want the kids to see me this way, and I needed to be with you…so I told the kids to put themselves to bed and ran over here,” Nick confessed, burying his face in Charlie’s chest in embarrassment at his sudden appearance and subsequent breakdown.

“Nick, you don’t need to hide, I’m glad you came here to me instead of staying home alone in your room so upset. This is who we are Nick, and why we are together, to be there for each other. I can only imagine how hard this is for you and all the conflicting emotions you must be feeling right now. What do you need from me?”

Nick thought about just trying to shake it off and pretend he was ok now, but he knew that would be a lie. So, instead, he chose to be vulnerable and whispered, “Please, can you just hold me for a while, Charlie?”

“Of course, darling,” Charlie breathed and kissed Nick on the top of wet head, continuing to rub his back and squeeze tighter every few minutes. 

They lay wrapped in each other’s arms until Nick finally felt warm and calmer, his thoughts not racing a million miles an hour on loop. He shifted against Charlie, and stretched his neck up to kiss him gently. “Thank you Char, thanks for just being here and taking care of me.”

“You don’t need to thank me love, I’m always here for you.”

“I know and that's why…” Nick swallowed back the words that nearly escaped, “I mean, I’m so glad I came tonight. I feel much better now, just a bit icky from the run in the cold rain.”

“How about I put your wet clothes in the dryer and you take a shower? They might be dry by the time you’re done, and then I can take you home, whenever you’re ready. I know you have to get back there tonight since the kids are there,” Charlie said as he stretched to climb out of his bed and bring Nick to the bathroom again. He scooped up the clothes to start them right away and then went to get Nick another fresh clean towel, and closed the door softly so Nick could have some privacy. 

While the water heated up, Nick used the toilet and looked at his blotchy face in the mirror, suddenly self-conscious that Charlie, the man he now knew he loved, had seen him in such a state. He buried his face in his hands and tried to recover from his embarrassment, climbing into the hot shower to calm his racing thoughts. He knew he’d need to call his mom tomorrow and tell her to uninvite David’s family to the lake the following weekend, or Nick and the kids wouldn't come. It broke his heart at the knowledge she would be torn between them, but he hoped she would support him and his family and would understand why they wouldn’t feel safe around David anymore. 

He stood under the pounding stream of water and tried to let all his anxiety go down the drain with the water, as he scrubbed with Charlie’s coconut scented shampoo and washed his body with the sensitive skin soap he found. He had just started to rinse off when he heard Charlie call out to him through the door.

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh, you know when we were lying in bed just now?”

Nick’s brows came together, unsure where Charlie was going with this, “yeah…”

“Well, I, uh, I wanted to tell you…” He hesitated a few more beats, Nick’s heart pounding in his chest, “I wanted to tell you that I love you…I love you Nick.”

Nick couldn’t hear anything but the rush of his heart and the water coursing over him, he felt frozen in shock. He knew he loved Charlie, he just hadn’t dreamed that Charlie, as amazing as he was, could love him.

“So, uh, yeah…I’m gonna go warm up the car to drive you home,” Charlie muttered, sounding dejected.

Nick shoved his hands through his hair quickly, desperately trying to remove the last of the soap, and turned the water off. 

“Charlie, wait!” he called out, before turning around quickly to exit the shower, only to stumble and fall, scraping his knee on the side. He scrambled back up to his feet, wrapped the towel around his waist, and called out again.

“Charlie, wait!”

He wrenched the bathroom door open and hurried into the hall, seeing Charlie bending over to tie his shoes, muttering to himself and shaking his head. Nick barreled towards him, and as Charlie stood, he stared at Nick, a terrified expression on his face. Nick grabbed him roughly and pulled him into a fierce embrace.

“You said it while I was in the shower!” he panted. “Can you say it again?”

Charlie looked at him with wide eyes, but then a calm seemed to come over him as he seemed to recognize that he didn’t need to fear repeating the words to Nick.

“I love you,” he said, holding his gaze. “You don’t have to say it back right now, I just…wanted you to know.”

“Charlie,” Nick stopped him. “I love you too, I love you so much.” Their lips crashed into each other, their arms wrapping tightly around the other. They kissed desperately but delicately as their hands roamed across shoulders and backs and suddenly, Nick was very aware that he was still only in a towel and his body was reacting to Charlie’s words and fervent kisses very enthusiastically . As much as it pained him to do so, he pulled away from Charlie’s lips gently and put a bit of space between them, rearranging his towel at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” he rushed to apologize. “I just, as much as I want to go further, I think…I think that wouldn’t be a good idea tonight. I don’t want to ruin anything by bursting into tears in the middle of sex, and I’m afraid my brother’s words are still just tumbling about in my head…is that, is that OK?”

“Oh, Nick, of course it’s OK. You never need to apologize about that,” Charlie assured him with a tender kiss, pulling him into another hug.

“I think your clothes are probably dry enough for the quick ride to your house now,” Charlie said. “Why don’t you get changed and meet me in the car? I think you need to get home and make sure the kids are OK, and then you need your bed and sleep.”

Nick sighed and nodded. It was nice to have someone take care of him for a change and he knew Charlie was right so he quickly complied. He carried his shoes in his hand, choosing to go just in socks rather than put his feet in wet shoes (gross…) ,  climbed into Charlie’s car and buckled himself in. They drove the short distance in a peaceful silence, both lost in their thoughts, holding each other’s hands tightly in between them. 

When they arrived at the house, Nick was relieved to see the lights, other than the small one over the kitchen sink, were all turned off, proving the kids had gone to bed like he had told them. Nick and Charlie turned towards each other in their seats with hesitant smiles before leaning in for a soft kiss goodnight.

“I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

Chapter Text

Charlie

It was Pride month, one of Charlie’s favorite times of the year because he usually felt the most uninhibited and proud of being gay when the city was full of rainbows and there were events to celebrate queerness throughout the month. He had been so excited to go to the Pride parade and the celebration downtown afterwards with Nick since Imogen had planned to take the kids herself. All of that felt ruined now, somehow tainted by the sermon Nick’s brother had posted online, and the emotional turmoil it was causing Nick and his children. Nick had told his mom they couldn’t be at the lake together and had texted his brother to un-invite him to the planned family BBQ and had received no response, so his family had gone today themselves.

Charlie pushed a headband through his curls to hold them away from his face during his run, donned a rainbow tank top and drove downtown for Front Runners alone for the first time since he had met Nick. It made sense that Nick and the kids went out to the lake early in the day, so he would have enough time there with his mom before leaving the kids to come home and introduce Charlie to Imogen. Charlie had a full day planned for himself, trying to keep his mind distracted from the upcoming evening. After the morning run and coffee time, he had band practice with QI as they rehearsed their set for the Pride concert next weekend. They had decided to add a handful of covers of current queer artists to their playlist for the event and needed to put in some extra hours of practice. He would have a few hours after rehearsal to make dinner at his apartment for the three of them to eat when he met Imogen. 

Charlie had requested to prepare the food himself, even though Nick had offered to take them out to dinner to a restaurant of his choosing. He knew he was going to be anxious and struggling to eat as it was, given the higher stress situation, so he would prefer to eat what and where he felt comfortable. He wasn’t seriously worried meeting Imogen wouldn’t go well, Nick had reassured him repeatedly that he knew Imogen would love him, but any time he had to meet someone new in any social situation was challenging for him, especially when he cared about the positive outcome as much as he did now.

The weather was warm for an early summer run and Charlie enjoyed his time with the others in the group, chatting about their spot in the Pride parade the following Saturday. He talked with one of the admins of the group about his time slot at their booth after the parade, after Charlie’s band performed and mentioned Nick might join him depending on his kids’ plans. As much as he loved coming to FR with Nick, Charlie realized it was good to catch up with other guys on his own as well, and planned to make more effort to run separately from Nick sometimes so he could maintain his other friendships.

Band practice went well, a couple of the new songs causing snags in the flow of their set list, but by the end of the practice he felt confident they would do fine. Charlie stopped by the dessert shop where he had pre-ordered a cake earlier in the week, not wanting to overheat his kitchen by baking something himself, and went home to clean up before he’d need to start the food prep. He was going to serve baked potatoes from the air fryer, grilled chicken, and asparagus from Nick’s garden. He made the sauce for the chicken and set it in the fridge to marinate, scrubbed the potatoes clean and snapped the ends of the asparagus, planning to grill it as well. He’d purchased various toppings for the baked potatoes, not knowing what Nick and Imogen would like.

Once he was satisfied the food was arranged, he took a quick shower and got ready, spending extra time on his hair to keep his curls under control. He selected a dark blue button up shirt over a grey undershirt, leaving it open and casual, and a pair of fitted jean shorts. His skin had started getting darker from the hours spent running outside and the blue contrasted to bring out the color of his eyes. He slipped on the flip flops he wore around the house in the summer, so he could go easily in and out from the balcony to the grill. 

He started to feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach (not the good kind) when he turned the air fryer on for the potatoes, checking the clock to see they would be arriving in about twenty minutes. Once they were in, he sent a quick text to Nick to verify they were on their way back from the lake on time.

Charlie [5:40] : ‘Hey babe, just checking you guys are on your way? xx’

A few minutes later, his phone vibrated with a response from Nick.

Nick [5:45] : ‘Yep, we just stopped to fill the gas tank and should be at your place in about 15 minutes, I think. Can’t wait to see you x’

Charlie sighed in relief, grateful they would be on time and not throw his cooking schedule off. He was so glad Nick paid attention to little things like that, knowing how it affected Charlie but didn’t make a big deal of it, just made the point of considering his needs. He sent Nick another quick text and then pocketed his phone to get the rest of the food out of the fridge.

Charlie [5:47] : ‘Love you, see you soon’ ❤️

Shortly after Charlie had turned on the grill on the balcony to heat up, a very sunburned Nick and Imogen arrived, Imogen bearing a bottle of white wine and Nick a bouquet of flowers that looked like they came straight from his wildflower garden, their colors vibrant pinks, purples and blues alongside the occasional white flower. Nick leaned in to kiss Charlie lightly, handing him the flowers and then turned to Imogen, placing his hand on Charlie’s back. 

“Charlie, this is Imogen, obviously,” Nick chuckled nervously. 

Charlie reached his hand out to shake hers but was surprised when she stretched both arms out and wrapped him in a gentle hug.

“Charlie, it’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you,” she greeted him warmly, “Sorry, I’m a hugger, I should have asked first.”

“No! It’s alright, it just caught me off guard. I’m so glad to meet you too.”

Nick, for his part, looked delighted at the exchange and headed into the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers. Closing the front door, Charlie took a deep breath and led Imogen towards the kitchen as well. While Nick took care of the flowers and filled wine glasses for them, Charlie went outside to see if the grill was ready and placed the marinated chicken on the rack. Imogen followed him out and looked at the view of the mountain in the distance, commenting how beautiful it was. Charlie agreed, nervously, and went back inside to finish the food. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around her, especially without Nick nearby.

He busied himself with setting the table, the flowers in a short round vase in the center and his solid black dishes contrasting with the white table. He went to flip the chicken over and add the asparagus, attempting to make small talk with Imogen as he did so. After a few minutes, he began to relax as she told him about her work as a paraeducator in the developmental learning program at the elementary school near their house. She regaled him with stories of her students and why she loved her job so much. With the food nearly finished, Charlie excused himself back to the kitchen to retrieve a serving platter and found Nick just sitting at the table drinking his wine.

“What are you doing in here? You could have come out!” Charlie whisper-shouted to him.

“I know, but you were talking and I figured I’d leave you to get to know each other without me hovering…” Nick replied.

“Niiickkk, I want you to hover, it’s awkward without you,” Charlie whined.

“I know darling, but you’re doing fine and the sooner the awkwardness fades the better right?”

Charlie fixed him with an icy stare and Nick just smirked. “I know you can do this, you talk to people all day who don’t want to be at the dentist, and Im does want to be here so…you’re alright.”

Shaking his head, Charlie hurried back out to the grill and plated up the food and invited Imogen back inside to eat. They served themselves buffet style at the counter and then sat around the small table together. Imogen was a natural conversationalist, keeping the flow going without many long awkward pauses and Nick joined in occasionally but mostly he let the two of them talk. Charlie told her about his family and why he chose dentistry; she talked about the volunteer work she had started doing at the library on her weeks away from the kids. He talked about the band he was in and the queer book club, his friends from school and a little bit about his mental health. Imogen told him how much she had struggled with herself for years, how she had previously been ashamed of her own mental health struggles but now accepted them as just another part of herself.

Charlie found he really liked Imogen and he hoped the feeling was mutual. He could see why Nick had loved her in the past and was glad they were still friends. He thought he should feel jealous, that she had a history and family with him that he didn’t, but instead he found himself looking forward to his own future with Nick, and the memories they would hopefully all make together.

They lingered over chocolate chip cake and coffee, finally broaching the subject of Charlie meeting the kids. Imogen seemed hesitant to start the conversation but with an encouraging nod from Nick, she finally opened up to Charlie about it.

“So, Charlie, I know you and Nick are serious about each other. He’s told me he loves you and you love him…I assume this means, you plan to stay in his life for a long time?” Imogen got right to the point, sounding more like Nick’s mother than ex-wife and friend.

Charlie’s eyes widened at her bluntness, “Uh, yeah, I do. I love him so much, I can’t imagine ever not wanting to be with him.”

“Good,” she nodded, “Nick deserves someone who can give him everything I tried to give but couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to either of us anymore and I really want him to be happy. I can see he is happy with you.”

She paused, looking off into the distance as she seemed to collect her thoughts.

“I think… I think you should meet the kids. But I want them to know that you intend to stick around, to be there for them. I don’t want them to think Nick is just bringing a random guy into his life who will fuck off after a couple of weeks. That would be hard on them, you know? They love their dad and wouldn’t want to see him hurt again,” she admitted, tears in her crystal blue eyes. 

“Im…” Nick said, “that's all in the past, you know.”

She nodded, turning back to Charlie. “How do you feel Charlie? Are you ready for that kind of relationship with them, that kind of commitment to Nick?”

Charlie took a cleansing breath and forced himself to look directly at her before he nodded. “I am. As long as the kids want me to be there, though. I’ve already told Nick, if any of them have reservations about me, that’s OK. I fully expect him to choose the kids, if it came to me or them.”

Imogen smiled, “I don’t think that’ll happen. But it’s good to hear you say it anyway.”

“I mean it,” Charlie stated firmly.

Deciding to just bite the bullet now, he went on to ask her what she felt comfortable with as far as their relationship was concerned. Whether they should refrain from physical affection in front of the kids (she shook her head ‘no’), how he should handle it if there was a disagreement (go to Nick first), whether they could stay the night together (she’d rather they wait for a while to sleep over at the house together, they agreed wholeheartedly). It was an open, honest, civil conversation and Charlie said goodbye to them at the door that night feeling excited to finally meet Nick’s kids, now that he had their mom’s seal of approval. 

Imogen hugged him tightly and said she looked forward to getting to know him better as time went on. He nodded, telling her he felt the same, and released her to go down the stairs to the car, leaving him and Nick to say goodbye privately. They leaned into each other, foreheads touching and breathed out shakily, releasing all their remaining nerves about the meeting. Charlie tilted his head to the side and closer to Nick, connecting their lips in a loving kiss, one that felt so full of promise for their future. After several seconds, they broke apart and just wrapped their arms around each other, supporting the other’s weight.

“I love you,” Charlie whispered into Nick’s neck, breathing in his scent and his strength.

“I love you so much,” Nick whispered back, “I can’t believe I found you.”

They parted for the evening so Nick could take Imogen home but made promises to see each other frequently in the coming week as Nick was finally on summer break.

Charlie went back to the kitchen to do the dishes and wrap up the leftovers, his mind turning over everything they had discussed. He really liked Imogen and it pained him to know the struggles the two of them had dealt with for their entire marriage. He was very grateful the choice they had made to release each other from the relationship had been the best thing for both of them. (And it led Nick to me…)

He glanced at the digital clock on the oven and saw it was only 9:15 so he decided to get ready for bed and read for a while before going to sleep. It had been a busy day, and emotional the past few hours so he was more tired than he usually was at this time. He was in the bathroom brushing his teeth when his phone buzzed with a message from Nick.

Nick [9:20] : ‘Come to your door…’

Charlie spat the toothpaste out and rinsed quickly, wondering why in the world Nick was back. (Did he leave something here?) he questioned, looking around on his way to the door. He hurriedly unlocked the dead bolt and the one on the door knob and threw open the door to see Nick in front of him, with his backpack slung over his shoulder, grinning sheepishly.

“Can I come in?” he whispered, voice low and scratchy. 

Charlie stepped back into the hallway to let him in and quietly shut the door behind him, “Should I lock up again? Or are you going back out?” his voice dipping into a lower register as he looked at Nick’s flushed face.

“Lock the door Charlie,” Nick practically growled, his eyes dark as he stared at Charlie.

“Fuck, Nick…”

“I dropped Imogen off at the house, went back to the apartment and thought, ‘what the fuck am I doing here?’ I just wanted to come back to you, I need you Charlie, I…I want you.”

“Oh my God Nick, I need you too,” Charlie breathed.

Nick slipped his backpack off his shoulder, letting it drop to the floor with a thud and pulled Charlie into his arms, lifting his legs around his waist and crashed their lips together. Nick cupped his hands around Charlie’s ass and leaned with him against the wall, desperately swiping into Charlie’s mouth and bit down gently on his lower lip, dragging it into his own. Charlie groaned deeply in his throat, he was instantly hard at the sounds Nick was making, and the feel of his hands holding his cheeks. 

“God, Nick, I…I, I want you so badly,” he rasped, barely able to catch his breath already. “Baby, what, what do you want?”

Nick stopped and looked deep into Charlie’s eyes, “Can I stay tonight?”

Charlie nodded rapidly, “But Nick, what do you want ?”

In response, Nick tightened his grip around Charlie and walked towards the bedroom kissing Charlie urgently as they went. Once there, he sat him gently on the edge of the bed and gazed down at him fondly, his cheeks pink with arousal even around his sunburn and Charlie felt himself twitch again in his shorts. Nick reached for the hem of his shirt and began to raise it slowly up over his head. Charlie felt like his eyes were being given a delicious treat. He had seen Nick without his clothes a few weeks ago when Nick had shown up soaking wet but the context of that night, and this one, were completely different.

He reached out his hand to trace along the planes of Nick’s chest as Nick threw the shirt on the floor, his fingertips brushed against the darkened skin of his nipples and he smiled when Nick gasped so he turned his thumb in small strokes back and forth across it until Nick threw his head back in pleasure. Charlie could see Nick’s erection straining his shorts and, with a question in his eye that Nick answered with a nod, released him from the biding denim fabric, leaving only his boxer briefs. Nick whined as Charlie’s hand lightly grazed the bulge through the cloth and his hips jutted forward a bit, seeking the friction of Charlie’s hand on his cock. 

“Nick,” Charlie said again, “what do you want? You need to tell me because…I want this to be right for you.”

Nick leaned towards Charlie and slowly lowered him all the way to the bed and crawled up his legs so Nick was straddling Charlie below him, making Charlie feel so precious somehow. Charlie gripped Nick’s shoulders above him and pulled him down flush against him to take his lips once more. “Words, Nick, words” he muttered as he peppered kisses along Nick’s lips, down his stubbled jaw, across his throat and to his ear where he knew Nick liked it. Nick reached between them and slowly pulled Charlie’s own shirt off, tossing it to the floor, and kissed him tenderly on the lower lip, tracing his tongue there. 

“I was thinking, maybe, maybe we could…”Nick broke off and looked away from Charlie like he was too shy to say what was on his mind. 

“Nick, nothing you could ask for is embarrassing. I want to know what you want, how I can make you feel good. God, Nick, I love you so much. I can’t wait to show you that in all the ways, but how can I show you now ?” Charlie insisted breathlessly, kissing him urgently again.

“Um, I was thinking…we could kind of do a combination of what we've done so far? Like, I thought, maybe, with our underwear still on, because I’m not sure I’m ready for more than that yet, I could, uh, rub between your cheeks from behind and uh, touch you too, like with my arms around you from behind?” Nick stuttered out.

In response, Charlie moaned deeply, the sound ripping from his throat as the mental image of that lit him on fire. “Fuck Nick, yes, do that.” He pulled Nick back to his mouth, lips pressed together over and over again at a bruising pace, licking and nipping at each other's lips and tongues. He slid his own shorts off as well so they were both in just their underwear, their cocks hard and leaking, straining against the fabric. Nick’s hands roamed Charlie’s torso and slowly rotated them so they were laying back to front on the bed with his one arm bent to pillow Charlie’s head and his other reached around to stroke his stomach and then lower to his cock.

Charlie felt Nick reach into his underwear and quickly leaned over to the side table to retrieve the lube, knowing it would make the whole experience more comfortable for them both. Settling back into Nick again, Charlie poured some lube in Nick’s hand and then pulled his underwear out of the way for him to reach inside. He turned his head backwards to kiss Nick as he felt Nick’s first tentative strokes on his cock, sending shock waves of pleasure through his body and he shuddered against Nick.

“Oh God, Nick, fuck that’s good, just like that,” he encouraged, moaning and whining as Nick expertly stroked him and pinched the head lightly between his fingers. Charlie rocked backwards until he found Nick’s cock, hard against him and shifted his ass until Nick was trapped between the cheeks. The sensation was perfect, and sent Charlie’s mind spiraling into everything he wanted to do with Nick.

“Charlie, oh Charlie, you feel so good in my hand, so hard and firm for me. God, I love you so much…” Nick panted into his ear, his movements on Charlie’s cock with his hand and his hips against Charlie’s butt becoming more erratic. Charlie felt Nick’s lips brushing against his shoulder, his breath hot and fast. 

He was so close but he didn’t want to leave Nick behind so he matched his movements, reaching his hand behind Nick’s head to pull him closer, harder against him until Nick was practically biting his shoulder as he stuttered and cried out “Fuck Char, I’m coming Char, oh God I love you…”

Charlie could hold himself back no longer as he heard Nick come apart behind him and felt his cum escape his underwear and hit his back. “Nick, oh Nick, oh I love you so much. Ahhh fuck…” he groaned as he came in Nick’s fist, a long and shuddering orgasm that seemed to go on and on.

They kissed softly over and over again as they caught their breath, whispering how much they loved each other, before they gently cleaned each other up with the tissues from the side of the bed and then crawled under the covers, wrapped around each other, Charlie placed a soft kiss to Nick’s chest where he laid his head. Their mumbled ‘I love you’s were barely audible as they drifted together into a deep, sated sleep.

The next morning, Nick and Charlie woke early, had a quick breakfast and coffee on the balcony together and got dressed in their outfits to wear to Pride. Charlie was dressed a little more conservatively this year than previous years because he didn’t want to embarrass Nick, although he doubted he could, given all the rainbow paraphernalia Nick collected and immediately put on as they searched the crowds for the Front Runners. Charlie wore a light blue shirt with “Trans Rights are Human Rights” across the chest, black shorts and shin-high socks with rainbows on them, the statement on the shirt had earned him a long kiss from Nick. Nick wore his Schitt’s Creek shirt again with a pair of denim jean shorts and dozens of beaded necklaces, rainbow bracelets, and pins. 

They eventually met up with the group at the giant rainbow painted on the street to walk the parade route right behind the Washington Democrats group, waving Pride flags and handing out buttons to kids along the way. The energy was amazing and Charlie was so happy he could now celebrate this with Nick by his side, as his boyfriend, out and proud in front of everyone. Even the hurt and anger caused by Nick’s brother David earlier that month couldn’t put a damper on this day anymore. Nick’s family, except for Sean, who had to work and would meet them downtown later, were going to the parade with Imogen. Each of them had various Pride shirts on: Heidi’s had a big rainbow in the shape of a heart, Niles sported an “I’m Bi, actually” one like the pin Charlie remembered Nick had, Matt had a “Proud Ally” shirt, and Imogen wore an ace shirt that read “I’d rather eat cake” which cracked Charlie up when he saw it. 

Once the parade was over, Nick went to arrange a meeting place with Imogen to watch Charlie’s band with the kids. Charlie was talking to the other guys waiting for Nick to come back, lighting up inside when he saw his man so joyful in this space. They wandered through the booths together before getting some food and sitting in the grass in front of the outdoor stadium to eat and listen to the music. Charlie managed to eat a little bit but he was starting to feel more nervous about the show, because this huge crowd was bigger than their average performance. Nick squeezed him around the middle and kissed the side of his head in encouragement when Charlie stood to go meet his band mates to start setting up their equipment. Nick went to go meet the kids and meander around the park a little bit while they waited on Charlie's band but Nick had assured him he would be in the crowd before the show started. He hadn’t missed a single one of Charlie’s gigs since they got together and he was thrilled every time he saw Nick in the audience staring at him the whole time.

When they took the stage, Charlie scanned the audience and grinned widely, waving at Nick and his family who were now all decked out in their various Pride flags. Sean had joined  them as well, draped in his trans flag, and he flashed a thumbs up at Charlie when he saw his shirt. Their set was electric, being surrounded by all this queer joy really brought out the contagious vibe in their music. Charlie pounded away, sweating through his clothes, and felt happier than he could ever remember. Happy Pride, indeed.

On Friday the following week, Nick arranged for all the kids to be home for dinner and a game night to introduce them to Charlie, as his boyfriend this time. Pizza and games were very casual so Charlie wasn’t nearly as nervous as at their first meeting.

Nick had pre-ordered the pizza so Charlie could just pick it up on his way over, sending him a copy of the receipt in case of any trouble. When Charlie arrived to collect it from the small pizza shop, his eyes nearly burst out of his head at how much pizza there was. He couldn’t believe they would be able to eat even half of it, but they were Nick’s kids so he assumed they had healthy appetites. He hefted the four extra larges and two garlic breads into his arms, grunting under the weight of it and stumbled out to his little car, struggling to balance the pizza in one hand and open the door with the other to place it on the back seat. Once he’d managed it successfully, he drove the short distance to Nick’s house and hoped he made as good of an impression as a boyfriend as he did as a dentist. He had a nephew their age though, and they were really close, so he assumed he could manage to hang out with a bunch of teens and hold his own.

He tried to ring the doorbell but with his arms full of pizza, he couldn’t get the angle right so he finally just lightly tapped his foot against the bottom of the door and immediately heard  loud incessant barking begin indoors. He was excited to meet Daisy since he didn’t have any pets of his own, even though he had always wanted one. Heidi opened the door, holding onto Daisy’s collar so she couldn’t jump on him with the pizza, and invited him in. This was his first time in Nick’s house and he noted the muted, soft greys and whites of the floors, walls and tiles in the open floor plan entryway that were modern and yet homey.

Heidi closed the door behind him, releasing Daisy who sat at his feet wagging her tail excitedly. 

“You can take your shoes off, and put them in there,” she said, pointing at the small closet by the door and reached over to take some of the pizza from him.

“Thanks, Heidi. How are you? Having a good first week of summer break?” he asked.

She shrugged, “I guess,” in very typical teenage girl behavior. 

They made their way to the large island that separated the kitchen from the living room and placed the pizza next to a stack of plates and glasses for soda. 

“Charlie and the pizza are here!” Heidi yelled suddenly, startling Charlie. “Oops, sorry.”

He shrugged, “No worries.”

The sounds of feet thundering from various parts of the house told him the rest of Nick’s kids were on their way in and he reminded himself to be chill. 

“Hi Charlie!” “Glad you could come have a game night with us.” “Hey man.” They all greeted him enthusiastically.

“Hey guys, uh, where’s your dad?” Charlie didn’t want to have to answer any questions about why he was there without Nick. 

Just then, Nick burst in through the sliding door from the backyard and instantly all of Charlie’s fears vanished. The sight of Nick was like a balm to his anxious mind and he knew, in that moment, it would be OK.

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick had wanted to have everything perfect for when Charlie got there, but with four teenagers and a rambunctious dog living in one house, that hope was basically impossible. He’d cleaned the house and showered after working in the garden earlier but he’d forgotten to harvest for salad tonight so when he got Charlie’s message that he was on his way, he had hurried out to the garden to collect the home-grown vegetables.

He was bent over the lettuce patch, snipping off the larger leaves at the base, when he heard Daisy start barking and knew that meant Charlie was here. Not wanting him to be uncomfortable alone in the house with the kids, he quickly pulled a couple of radishes and raced into the house, hearing the last bits of Charlie’s question as to his whereabouts.

“I’m here,” Nick said breathlessly as he hurried in from the backyard, his arms full with a basket of lettuce and radishes. “Just picked for our salad. Kids, can you wash up and quickly help get the salad together so we can eat before the pizza gets cold?”

Nick knew pizza was a good motivation but Charlie still seemed impressed when he saw Sean start washing the lettuce, Matt slice up a cucumber, Heidi getting grated cheese and a bottle of dressing from the fridge and Niles chopping a couple of radishes. Nick smiled over the kids' heads at Charlie, pursing his lips in a mock kiss, and his heart melted when Charlie couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. Charlie tried to cover it up quickly by praising them all for making such a delicious looking salad.

Once the salad was made, they all dished up their pizza and Charlie looked a little overwhelmed at how many slices were on their plates.They all took multiple pieces, as well as salad and garlic bread, and went to sit at the table on the back deck together. Niles was the only one who ate less, taking a portion more similar to Charlie’s own, which caught Nick’s attention but he kept the thought to himself. Mouths full, they ate quickly but also talked and laughed a lot together while they did so. Nick knew Charlie’s family weren’t close like his and it possibly felt unfamiliar to him, since he’d never experienced it himself growing up. Nick’s kids all got along reasonably well and actually liked each other, and, although he’d like to, he couldn’t claim it had anything to do with the way they were raised.

After they were all stuffed, Nick asked Matt to run down to the game room and grab a couple of card game choices so they could play outside while it was still light and warm enough. Charlie smiled at him, seemingly waiting on Nick to decide the right time to tell them, and Nick grinned widely in return, with a slight nod. (Not long now…) When Matt returned with Cards Against Humanity, How Do You Meme? and Exploding Kittens, Charlie raised his eyebrows towards Nick at the selection and burst out laughing. Nick just shrugged.

“We’re not your average parents,” he confessed, hoping it didn’t freak Charlie out, “we talk about everything in our family.”

Charlie nodded, looking amused and even more excited for game night.

“But before we play, guys, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Nick started, leaning forward and taking a deep breath, looking towards Charlie. Nick heard him inhale sharply and then nodded his encouragement to Nick.

“So, when Mom and I got divorced, we told you that if either of us ever had a partner again, we would talk about it and get to know each other before we introduced you, you remember that?” The kids all nodded, glancing at each other, their dad, and then over at Charlie with interest, who smiled tightly. 

“Well, I asked Charlie to come to dinner and to hang out tonight so I could introduce him to you again, but this time as my boyfriend.” Nick paused and took a deep breath. “We’ve been together almost two months now, he’s met Mom - she likes him a lot - and now I want him to get to know you, and you, him…” Nick’s voice trailed off, looking at each of his kids' faces in turn, nervous about their reactions. He really wanted Charlie to be accepted by them.

After a few seconds, but what felt like hours to Nick, they were all congratulating him and coming over to hug him and Charlie as well.

“We knew you’ve been happier, Papa, we just didn’t really know why…. although the way you stared at Charlie during the concert should have clued us in,” Niles teased him.

“I thought it was all the runs you’ve been going on,” Matt said. (You’re not that far off buddy…)

“I suspected something was up when you were the one to take us to the dentist instead of Mom, and it turned out the dentist looked like your dream guy. I remember all the comments you made when we watched Challengers Papa, how you think Josh O’Connor is hot…” Sean teased. “Charlie could be his twin.”

Charlie ducked his head, laughing. Nick breathed a sigh of relief that the kids all seemed fine with him dating again, and had no reservations about the person he was dating being another man. It felt like everything was falling into place.

They spent the next couple of hours playing the games Matt had brought upstairs, laughing until they cried at some of the card pairings and it felt like the perfect way to get to know each other without pressure to keep a conversation going the whole time, although one round of How Do You Meme? sparked an intelligent political discussion among them when a picture of Trump was the meme. When it was too dark to see, Nick told the kids to get ready for bed but that they could read for a while if they wanted to. Charlie said he should get going and wished them all a good night’s sleep. Once their audience had moved into other parts of the house, Nick and Charlie sat together on the porch, Charlie’s head on his shoulder, quietly discussing how they felt the night had gone. Thankfully, Nick was sure it had gone well and Charlie agreed. They kissed for a few minutes tenderly, holding hands while they sat on the steps, enjoying the clear summer evening together.

After Charlie left to go home for the night, Nick made his customary rounds to the kids’ bedrooms to say goodnight. Most of the kids were all involved in their books and he didn’t want to disturb them by talking too much but Matt was simply laying in bed, looking deep in thought so Nick took the opportunity to sit on his bed to chat. 

“Matt, buddy, is everything OK?” Nick started the conversation. Matt nodded, creases wrinkling his forehead in concentration.

“Papa, I guess I’m just feeling a bit confused about how I should feel right now,” he said hesitantly. 

Nick nodded, “OK bud, that’s fine. Do you want to talk about it?”

After another long pause he said, “I really like Charlie, Papa, like, he’s really great and I can see he makes you happy. And that makes me happy. But I feel a little bad being happy about it, when it means Mom isn’t here and she might be sad.”

Nick reached over and stroked Matt’s leg through his blanket. 

“I get that. Any feelings you have are valid, OK? But Mom isn’t sad about this, she and I have talked about it a lot, I promise. And Charlie is really great so I’m glad you like him, he’ll be glad too.”

Matt nodded, reaching up from his bed to hug Nick. “It was really nice to get to know him tonight Papa, I hope he comes over more now.”

Nick squeezed his middle son tightly, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “Me too,” he said as he stood to leave, closing the door behind himself with a sigh.

The next two weeks were filled with summer activities and it was honestly Nick’s favorite part of the summer because it wasn’t too terribly hot most days, the occasional thunderstorm rolled through (which he loved!) and everyone was still on the high of just getting out of school. Charlie still had to work his normal hours, but Nick filled his days with working in the garden (even when it wasn’t his week at the house, he just asked Imogen if he could come over and she always agreed - she’d rather he did the work anyways), hanging out with the kids (when he could convince them to come out of their dark dungeon-like rooms) and going to lots of baseball games (he’d heard Ryan tease Charlie multiple times about his increased interest in attending his games).

July boasted one of the most celebrated American holidays, Independence Day, which Nick’s family considered a ridiculous thing to celebrate nowadays, since none of them were very patriotic, but it was a long standing family tradition for them to go out to Sarah’s place on the lake for the day and oftentimes to stay the night. Charlie's office was closing for half of the week, leaving him free to spend time with Nick and his family.

They decided they were going to plan a weekend at the lake house, just them and the kids (Sarah would be visiting her sister in Idaho), but would invite Tara and Darcy for the holiday. David’s family had attended in the past, but were going camping with friends this year so they didn’t have to deal with that particular family awkwardness. Nick was anxious for the weekend to go well since this would be their first time spending any length of time together with Tara and Darcy. He really wanted everyone he loved to get along. 

Because Nick did not want to leave anything to chance, he meticulously planned the weekend, from the food (making sure there were always safe choices for Charlie), to the board games they would bring, what movies they would watch in the evenings and packing lists for the kids. On Thursday, the day before they were going out to the lake, Nick spent a couple of hours at Costco and the grocery store, packing his car to the gills with snacks, drinks and other necessities. He made sure the garden was well watered and everything ripe was picked. The plan was to pack the vehicles early the next morning, collect the kids from the house and then drive out to the lake. Nick felt prepared but he was anxious nonetheless.

He crawled into bed next to Charlie at Charlie’s apartment, damp from his shower and so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open, but filled with such nervous energy he didn’t know if he’d be able to sleep. Nick laid his head next to Charlie’s and flung his arm over his chest, gently stroking his shoulder with his hand. Turning his head towards him, Charlie said with a smirk, “I can help you relax, Nick…” causing Nick to intake his breath and his dick to twitch in his underwear.

“Oh really? You can?” Nick teased, “and how do you propose to do that?”

“Well, let me show you…can I?” he asked, as he rolled over to face Nick.

Nick immediately captured his lips desperately between his own and licked his tongue over Charlie’s mouth, seeking entrance. Charlie groaned and opened to Nick, teasing him with his tongue and biting gently on his lips, their breaths becoming labored as their kisses became more heated. Nick pulled Charlie into his arms and hugged him tightly, breathing in his scent and adsorbing his strength.

They quickly stripped their shirts off and pulled each other close, slowly, then more urgently rubbing their chests against each other as they kissed. Nick's thumb traced a circle around one of Charlie’s nipples and then the other, eliciting a delicious sound from Charlie’s lips.

Nick could feel Charlie responding to him, hardening in his sleep shorts and he groaned as he rolled his hips against him, seeking friction on his own hardening cock. He reached his hand to the waistband of his own boxers, his eyes seeking permission from Charlie to pull them down and off, the first time he would be fully exposed like this with him since he had arrived soaked and crying.

Nick saw Charlie’s eyes darken with lust and he nodded eagerly, reaching down to remove his briefs along with his sleep shorts, never losing focus on Nick in front of him. Nick hugged Charlie tight to him and then kissed him with abandon, his hands roaming all over Charlie’s back, around his waist, cupping his butt cheeks with a slight squeeze. He was feeling so desperate for Charlie now, he didn’t even know what specifically he was desperate for, just Charlie.

Nick peppered kisses along Charlie’s jaw, who tilted his head up to give Nick better access, across his shoulders and then lightly to pay attention to his nipples. He gently grazed them with his lips at first, tentatively licked his tongue over one and Charlie jolted in surprise and cried out. Nick continued his way down Charlie’s body, kissing as he went. He left featherlight touches all along his stomach, around his belly button, over to his hip where he sucked lightly.
“Nick,” Charlie rasped out, “I’m supposed to be distracting you, not the other way around.”

“Charlie…” Nick stuttered, trying to appear confident, “Trust me, you are distracting me, look at me.” 

Charlie’s eyes traced down Nick’s body until he became very aware of just how much Nick was enjoying kissing him and Charlie’s own cock twitched visibly. Nick flushed with pleasure at the look of desire in Charlie’s eyes when he looked at him. Their eyes met again and Nick rose up on his knees, straddling around Charlie, their naked bodies touching in ways they hadn't ever before. It was intoxicating and Nick felt like he was going to come already, he was so turned on from getting to be with Charlie like this, so in love with each other.

He pulled Charlie up to meet his lips again and then slowly began to move against Charlie, so he could feel the friction of their cocks rubbing against the other’s and it felt like he was coming apart. He tried to slow his movements but it was just all so much and he could feel himself getting close.

“Charlie,” he whined, “Oh god Charlie, I think I’m getting close already…are you close baby?”

Charlie groaned deeply as he nodded and then he lay back onto the pillows and said, “Nick, touch yourself and I want you to come on me,” as he slowly palmed himself below Nick.

“Fuck, Charlie,” Nick grunted, drawing long strokes on his length and pulling the tip as he shot white ropes across Charlie’s chest. Nick collapsed across Charlie into the sticky mess and Charlie took advantage of the added friction and pressed himself up once, twice into Nick's hip before he too, came between them.

Despite his utter exhaustion, Nick placed soft kisses wherever he could reach on Charlie before he slowly stood, careful to avoid the mess getting on the sheets, and went into the neighboring bathroom to retrieve a soft washcloth that he moistened with warm water, wiped himself clean, rinsed it and brought in to take care of Charlie.

Once he had tenderly removed all evidence of their activities, Nick climbed back into bed and wrapped himself around Charlie, and sighed contentedly.

“I love you,” he whispered before he drifted off to sleep. 

Feeling a soft kiss on his chest, he heard Charlie whisper in return, “I love you, Nick Nelson.”

The next morning Nick and Charlie rose early after a deep and restful night's sleep, something Nick assured Charlie they would not be getting the next couple of nights at the lake with a house full of teenagers plus Tara and Darcy. They drank their coffee in relative calm, although Nick’s mind was running through all the things he needed to make sure they didn’t forget. After the coffee and breakfast dishes were washed and put away, they loaded their cars with the luggage and all the food for the weekend, hoping to avoid purchasing anything at the small, overpriced county shop. 

Nick was very much looking forward to all the fun times with his kids and Charlie, as well as Tara and Darcy, who he hadn’t spent nearly as much time with recently as he had the previous year. They had been his friends when he met Imogen, and close to them both throughout their entire marriage, having acted as godparents to their four kids, and the divorce had brought Nick even closer to them as they had supported him through it. He knew they still had a close relationship with Imogen as well and he was glad their separation hadn’t destroyed the friendship. 

The two of them had tried to have kids of their own, but after four unsuccessful rounds of IVF, they decided to put their energy and love into their godchildren, standing in as chauffeurs when Nick and Imogen were busy, loudly cheering for sports events and music concerts, supporting them through heartbreaks and celebrations. Nick knew they were invaluable in his family and he was excited for Charlie to spend time with them and get to know his two favorite people, other than Charlie and his kids, of course.

Charlie drove his car with all the food and games packed in it, leaving space in the front seat for one of the kids to ride with him, hoping it would be Niles so they could talk about starting drum lessons. Nick drove the family van with the kids and the luggage, leaving his car behind for Imogen to use. When they got to the house, as expected, none of his four were ready - typical teenagers - and Nick cajoled and threatened to leave them behind, until the entire group was ready for the hour long drive north to his mom’s lake house. Tara and Darcy would meet them there later that afternoon, as they both worked in the morning. 

 Once they arrived at the lake house, they piled out of the cars excitedly, already wanting to head to the beach to swim. The sun was shining brightly, reflecting off the water like a mirror, and the grassy area next to the sandy beach was a vibrant green, the heat and dryness of the summer not yet causing it to yellow. Nick quickly called out instructions for the unpacking and sleeping arrangements, requiring all the kids to help so it would go quickly. He told the older boys to set up the large tent in the front yard next to the overflowing strawberry patch so they could sleep outside. Daisy was romping around them, barking excitedly, loving the freedom to be outside off-leash.

He’d told Heidi she could have the small room his mom used as an office for her bedroom, Tara and Darcy were going to be in his mom’s room, and he and Charlie would take the downstairs bedroom, so they would be close if anyone needed them in the night. After everyone had unloaded their luggage, they hurried to unpack the food into the large refrigerator inside and the variety of drinks into coolers. Chips, cookies, fruit and vegetables littered every surface of the kitchen, but Nick knew it would soon start disappearing as four hungry teens descended. 

Everything unpacked now, the group went to their respective areas to change into their swimsuits and Charlie wandered off from Nick to look around the house. A few minutes later, a small blue cooler bag loaded with drinks hanging on his shoulder, Nick found him staring out the four long windows at the front of the house that overlooked the lake across the street. Coming up behind him, he wrapped his arms around him and pecked him lightly on the neck.

“Whatcha looking at?” Nick inquired, nuzzling into Charlie further.

“This is a beautiful view; the lake is such a sparkling blue and the surrounding pine trees look so green still. I can’t believe your mom lives here.”

“Yeah, she always wanted to live on the water and this is close enough to town so she can still drive in for work until she retires, but gets to enjoy this now,” Nick said, gesturing out the window at the scenery, pleased for his mom, and glad they got to benefit as well.

The sounds of the kids running around and Daisy barking broke them from their retrospections about the view, and they turned around to collect everything needed to go down to the beach. Outside, they loaded up the small storage wagon with some folding chairs, towels and goggles. Nick made sure to grab the sunscreen as he would burn red like a lobster the first hour without it. Matt pulled the wagon down to the beach while Nick and Charlie both carried small coolers with drinks and the other kids loaded their arms with various floating devices, including a blue flat mat and a pink donut. 

They claimed a spot on the sandy side of the beach, set up their chairs in a haphazard pattern, and the kids charged into the water. Nick and Charlie lounged next to each other in the chairs, Nick lathering his entire upper body with sunscreen and having Charlie do his back where he couldn’t reach. 

“Do you have some on?” Nick asked, holding the bottle out to Charlie to use if he needed.

“Nah, I don’t burn, I just tan,” Charlie said grinning, “I don’t have to get gross with that shit.”

“Ugh, I’m quite jealous of that to be honest. My kids seem to have inherited something from Imogen that makes them not burn unless they are out for hours. By the end of the summer, they are so tan, they don’t look like they are even related to me.”

Charlie laughed, “Maybe they are going to look more like me then, since I’m the same.”

“Awww that’s sweet Charlie, but I don’t think that’s how biology works,” Nick chuckled, sending Charlie into a fit of giggles, which Nick found so adorable, he just had to kiss him right then.

Charlie looked surprised Nick was willing to be affectionate with his kids in the vicinity but Nick really couldn’t be bothered to hide his love for Charlie anymore, even in front of them. They knew he was a big sap anyways, they might as well see him simp over Charlie. Nick turned back out to the swimming area to watch the kids swim; even though they were good swimmers, he still felt compelled to keep an eye on them. He reached over and took Charlie’s hand, intertwining them together as they gazed out at the water and let the sun warm them.

Soon, it had heated them too much so they ran to the end of the dock and jumped off hand in hand, laughing when they popped out of the water, the cold shocking them instantly. Sputtering and shaking the water from their hair, they swam around a bit before sitting on the dock to watch the kids jump in over and over again, occasionally joining in. Nick remembered being young enough to have that much energy to just swim for hours. Eventually, he made them all come back to the chairs and get something to drink from the coolers, since it was easy to dehydrate even while in the water. They got out their books to read for a while until they were too hot again and needed to get back in the cool lake. 

This pattern repeated throughout the day, with breaks to go back to the house for lunch and short naps, before returning for more swimming. Around six in the evening, Nick had them get out and head back to the house so he could get dinner made. Everyone took turns in the showers while Nick prepared tacos for dinner and they got excited when Tara and Darcy arrived just in time to eat. As they gave hugs all around, Nick directed the flow of plating up the food so it would be a little calmer in the house for Tara and Darcy to settle into their room upstairs.

Noticing Charlie looked a little overwhelmed at the chaos of food preparation for so many people, Nick poured him a margarita and sent the kids outside so it would be calmer for the four adults to eat and have a normal conversation. Darcy came bounding down the stairs with their unmatched energy, which hadn’t changed even into adulthood, with Tara following at a more subdued pace. Once they all had their food, they sat together at the dining room table, drinking their margaritas and enjoying the conversation. Nick loved seeing Tara and Darcy getting to know Charlie on a deeper level and was thrilled they seemed to be getting along so well. 

They finished the evening with a couple of rounds of the card game Exploding Kittens until no one could stay awake any longer and crashed into bed. Nick and Charlie cuddled in bed together, Daisy laying on the floor at the foot of the bed, and were asleep almost instantly.

The rest of the weekend passed in a similar pattern of eating, swimming, reading, games, swimming again, movies, eating and more swimming. On the Fourth of July, they had a big BBQ dinner of burgers, corn on the cob and homemade potato salad and sat around the firepit Nick had built a couple years ago, laughing and telling stories as the darkness slowly crept in. Tara and Darcy had brought the ingredients for s’mores and the amount of roasted marshmallows consumed was scary for their insulin levels. 

“The toasted marshmallow surrounded by melted chocolate and graham crackers is a tradition for any campfire!” Darcy insisted, adamant everyone must try at least one and even Charlie had reluctantly partook with a laugh at their enthusiasm.

The fireworks on the fourth had been spectacular, the locals setting them off late into the night, to the utter consternation of Daisy, who was beside herself with anxiety the entire time. She paced around the yard as they went off across the lake, not at all interested in the brilliant explosions across the night sky in every color of the rainbow. Nick wrapped Charlie up in a blanket, cuddling him close and periodically kissing him while whispering, “I love you,” under his breath. Once the show had slightly abated, the adults went to bed inside, allowing the teens to stay up later if they wanted, with firm reminders to stay in the yard and be quiet if they came inside for any reason. 

Nick flung himself onto Charlie in bed after he had thoroughly brushed his teeth (he was dating a dentist after all, making sure all that sugar was off before bed was very important) , making Charlie giggle and cover his mouth so no one would hear him. 

“Nick! Stop tickling me!” Charlie cried out. “You smell like a campfire!”

“You don’t like the smell of campfire?” Nick asked incredulously.

“Well, it just means your sweatshirts don’t smell like you anymore,” Charlie said shyly.

“Oh? You like my smell, do you?” Nick teased tickling him, “What about my smell do you like? Huh, huh?”

“Nick! Stop it!” Charlie shrieked as he tried to stay out of Nick’s grasp, giggling.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop…I’ll stop tickling you, if you stop pulling away…” 

“I’m not trying to get away now…” Charlie sighed, his hand slowly descending Nick’s body to his boxers.

“Charlie, my kids are here…” he whined, “and my best friends, who would never let me hear the end of it if they heard us somehow.”

Charlie nodded slowly against Nick's lips, “Well, I guess you’ll have to be extra quiet then, won’t you?”

Nick gasped softly and pressed himself closer to Charlie, connecting their bodies from chest to hips and intertwined legs with him.

They kissed quietly, slowly building a rhythm, desperately trying to stifle any sounds from escaping before they shuddered against each other as they came. When they were finished, they quickly changed into new underwear and Charlie laid behind Nick, holding him tightly, as they fell asleep.

Everyone was exhausted and slightly sunburned (a lot sunburned in Nick’s case despite copious amounts of sunscreen) the next morning, having thoroughly enjoyed the weekend at the lake, thankful to Sarah for having allowed them to stay while she was out of town. Nick was thrilled with how well Charlie was getting along with his family and the friendship he could see forming between him and Tara and Darcy. The support of his best friends meant so much to him and he was glad they saw what an amazing person Charlie was, just like he did. It was obvious that Tara and Darcy also adored Charlie, and were thrilled for how happy he made Nick.

The times they had spent together playing games, sharing meals, taking walks, and just passing the hours had strengthened not only Nick and Charlie’s bond as a couple but also the connection between Charlie and his children. Nick could see Charlie’s eyes glow happily when he talked with them, and watched his kids pay attention and listen to Charlie, showing his opinion actually mattered to them. Charlie and Niles had scheduled to start weekly drumming lessons which endeared Charlie to Nick even more, knowing Niles specifically would benefit from a relationship with him. Matt had spent a couple hours with him, talking about the University of Washington, one of his top choices and where Charlie had done his undergrad. Even Heidi, who was in that very angsty part of being a teenage girl, had cuddled up against him for a while during the fireworks. The entire weekend had done nothing but confirm to Nick he was on the right path with Charlie, wherever that path would take them.

Chapter Text

Charlie

It had been a whirlwind week for Charlie. Work had been crazy busy with his entire column full every day, with very few moments to spare in between patients and all the little things that came with running a business. On top of that, he had had band practice on Wednesday night because they were performing again that weekend at an outdoor music festival in neighboring Coeur d'Alene and needed the extra rehearsal time since it was a longer set than they usually played. 

Nick had been busy taking care of his garden. Charlie found it adorable how passionate Nick was - growing his own food and creating his own compost brought him real joy. Nick would babble on about it, extolling the health and environmental benefits while he showed off the newest harvested green cucumbers or purple blueberries, and Charlie would simply stare at him in amusement. Nick had mentioned his desire to possibly convert the old dog run area into a chicken coop and Charlie was nervous about the possibility of being chased around the garden by wild birds but it was Nick’s dream at the moment. 

At the beginning of August, Charlie and his entire circle of family and friends were filled with new hope for the future when President Biden withdrew from the race and Vice President Kamala Harris was put forth as the new contender to take down Trump. While no candidate was perfect or held the same position on all issues as their voters, Charlie felt like his LGBTQ+ community, women and marginalized people were unquestionably better served by Kamala than Trump. During the entire week, Charlie felt the energy and optimism that had been lost since Trump had announced his plan to run again, returning with a vengeance. He and Nick had started to discuss what they could do personally to make a difference, both wanting to ensure a successful outcome. 

With all of the busyness hopefully fading into a more regular schedule again soon, Charlie looked forward to his annual end-of-summer camping trip with Tori’s family. Although initially only Matt had been invited to accompany Ryan, Tori came to Charlie one morning a couple of weeks before the trip and proposed they expand the group to include Nick and his kids.

“So, brother, I was thinking maybe we could invite Nick and his family to come camping with us? Do you know if they like to camp?”

Charlie thought about it for a moment, “I’m not sure actually. I mean, Nick loves to be outside in his garden and the kids love to swim at the lake so I’d assume they do…I’ll have to ask.”

Tori shrugged nonchalantly, “It's cool either way, but I thought it would be a fun way to get to know them better.”

“I don’t know though Tori, are you sure you’re OK with more people seeing you in the morning before you’ve had your coffee?” Charlie teased, “You’re barely friendly with coffee, you’re almost inhuman without it.”

Tori raised her middle finger to him as she left his office to get their next patient, both of them laughing as she went.

“I’ll ask him when he and Heidi come in for their fillings this afternoon,” Charlie told her, following her out of his office to go do exams in the hygienist's appointments. 

Nick and Heidi arrived together at the office after lunch, both looking a little bit nervous. Charlie greeted Nick with a quick peck on the cheek and a small side hug for Heidi, who tried to smile but failed. 

“Nervous, sweetheart?” Charlie asked in a quiet voice. She nodded almost imperceptibly. 

“Don’t worry, you know I’ll be gentle right?” Charlie soothed. “We’ll have Tori get the nitrous ready for you too, it’ll help you relax, OK?” he proposed, glancing at Nick for permission as he did so. 

“Heidi, you’ll love the nitrous, it feels so relaxing! I had it for my crown when I first met Charlie and I’m so glad I did,” Nick said reassuringly.

“Yeah, and you called me ‘beautiful’ for the first time when you were on it too…” Charlie couldn’t help but remind him. Nick blushed red and Heidi laughed.

“Papa always talks about how beautiful you are Charlie, it’s not only on nitrous he thinks that.”

Charlie giggled, pleased Heidi seemed completely unbothered by her dad’s affection for him. 

“OK, sweetie, should we do your fillings first? They’ll be quick, I promise,” Charlie said, stretching his hand toward Heidi to walk her back into the restorative room. “Your dad can come in with you, if you like.” She nodded as she took his hand, and turned her head to Nick to indicate he should come too.

Tori had the room prepared and got Heidi hooked up with the nitrous. Once she was comfortable, Charlie quickly did her two fillings. She was a trooper, although Charlie could see she had been extremely nervous. He gave her a fist bump and told her she had done even better than her papa; he praised her for doing something hard, even when she was nervous about it. She smiled shyly at him and then gave him a hug when he had raised her chair back up. 

While he and Tori cleaned the room and got new instruments for Nick’s fillings, he proposed the idea of the family joining them for the camping trip. Nick enthusiastically agreed they all loved camping, even though they hadn’t been able to go for a few years. 

“That’s the week Imogen will be gone taking Sean back to New York, so he won't be able to come, but it would be a great distraction for us to be away the first week after he leaves. We always miss him the most those first couple of weeks,” Nick said thoughtfully. “I’ll ask the boys when we get home but I think we’d like to do that, don’t you Heidi?”

Heidi nodded excitedly, “I love camping! I love to sit by the fire and read. Is there a place to swim there? Can we go on a hike? Do you guys like to play games?” she chattered on, while Charlie started Nick’s fillings. 

Charlie and Tori told them all about the place they go for their annual family camping trip while they worked on Nick’s teeth. It distracted Nick from what they were doing so he didn’t need the nitrous this time and they were so in sync with the procedure they could talk about other things without interrupting the workflow. Charlie told them about the campsite - surrounded by woods, the sound of the bubbling creek in the distance, the deer that frequently meandered through, the lake within walking distance for swimming, the hiking trails available. Tori talked about how they liked to relax around the campfire (when it was allowed based on the current fire danger) in the mornings and evenings with hot chocolate, how they played games or read whenever they were at the site, how they could rent canoes and explore the corners of the lake unreachable by foot. By the end of the appointment, Nick and Heidi were brimming with excitement at the prospect of going camping again and were convinced both boys would want to as well. 

They had barely been gone from the office for twenty minutes when Charlie received a tent emoji, fire emoji and thumbs up emoji from Nick indicating they were planning to join. Charlie was excited to get to spend the time with Nick and his family again, and for Tori and Michael to have the chance to get to know them better.

Two weeks later, Charlie’s office was closed for their vacation week, with an emergency number for one of his colleague’s practices available for his patients, should they have need. Tori, Charlie and Michael had planned and purchased all the food they typically brought with them, doubling the portion sizes to include Nick and his three kids. Nick had found their large family-sized tent in the garage, sorted through all their sleeping bags and packed an assortment of chairs to use around the firepit. They had reserved their usual campsite and everyone was excited to get away from civilization for a while before the busy school year began again.

The two-hour drive north into the mountains passed quickly as the kids talked excitedly over each other, told jokes, occasionally argued, and sang along to the music. The weather was hot and sunny, promising perfect swimming weather but thankfully this summer had had enough rain throughout the hot months so there wasn't a burn ban in place and they’d be able to have campfires whenever they wanted. 

They arrived at their pre-selected campsite, everyone piling out of the cars quickly to stretch their legs and use the restroom. Nick and Charlie organized the tent construction, deciding where they could best set up three separate tents - one large enough for all the teens to share and two small ones for the couples. Tori and Michael got the food organized in the van, because they’d need to keep it secured from any animals catching the scent and coming into the camp area. The younger kids set about searching for twigs and small brush items to use for firestarter while Matt and Ryan sorted everyone’s luggage into their respective tents as Nick and Charlie finished erecting them. 

Once everything was sorted, the group changed into their swimming suits and set out down the path through the woods to the small lake where they all quickly got wet to rinse off the stickiness caused by unpacking in the heat of the day. Daisy romped in and out of the water, shaking off and making everyone laugh. The older boys lifted the younger two up onto their shoulders and they wrestled to see who could knock each other off into the water first, prompting Nick and Charlie to have a go at the same game against Michael and Tori.

Tori, being less than enthused, threatened her brother with stories of him as an angsty teenager, trying to persuade him to go easy on her. Charlie just laughed and proceeded to try and shove her off Michael’s shoulders into the lake below. Tori turned out to be feistier than Charlie expected though and, when he couldn’t knock her off after several attempts, he cajoled Nick into joining the fight. Together, they pushed and tripped, and pulled and tripped, until eventually they all fell into the water laughing hysterically. Charlie hadn’t had so much fun in the lake in a long time. 

After the kids got tired of swimming, they made their way back to the campsite, hung their towels to dry with their swimsuits and put on comfy clothes. They’d agreed to alternate meal prep each day so Tori and Michael were preparing burgers for the first night while the kids played a game and Nick and Charlie sat to read. The noise of the kids playing made reading a challenge though, so Nick decided to get the fire started while Charlie happily ogled him squatting to arrange the paper and little bits of kindling to get the fire started. He couldn’t help himself when he reached down to swat Nick on the butt when he leaned over directly in front of Charlie. 

“Charlie!” Nick gasped, pretending to be scandalized. “How dare you!”

“Well, if your ass wasn’t so gorgeous and just right in my face, I would have been able to restrain myself…but since neither of those things are true…” Charlie shrugged, “What was I to do?”

Nick leaned towards him, gave him a lingering kiss and whispered so the others couldn’t hear, “I’m going to make you pay for that later…”

Charlie gasped, his eyes widening when they met Nick’s blown out pupils.
“There are children here, Nick!”

Nick pulled back and laughed, “Yep, I guess we’ll be torturing each other for a few days, won’t we?”

Charlie adjusted himself in his sweatpants and breathed deeply through his nose, unsure how he was going to keep his hands to himself for five whole days with Nick. But, he didn’t want to be inappropriate in front of the kids or make anyone uncomfortable so he intentionally reigned himself back in and got up to help Tori set the table. 

Now that Nick had the fire going, the kids wrapped up their game and migrated to the circle of camp chairs, each of them collecting a book to read while there was still daylight. It wasn’t long after they had sat down that Tori and Michael had dinner ready. They gathered around the picnic table to get their food and then scattered to eat around the fire or at the table, since there wasn’t enough room for them all together at the table at once. While they ate, they talked and laughed amongst themselves, using the time to tell stories and get to know each other better. 

Tori and Charlie talked about their childhood and Michael told everyone about how he had met Tori in school, how she had been so standoffish with everyone else but somehow wanted to hang out with him. They kept the topic light, avoiding any of the heavy and dark times the three had come through as teens together. Those topics were for another night. Charlie yawned, worn out from the excitement and effort to get to the campsite, and stood to get ready for bed, the others quickly following suit. With flashlights leading the way, they all used the restroom and brushed their teeth before entering their tents and tucking into their sleeping bags. While Nick was saying goodnight to his kids, Charlie zipped their sleeping bags together into one large one and encouraged Daisy to lay down next to him. When Nick had zipped up the tent, he crawled in next to Charlie, wrapping his arms around him and whispered in his ear.

“Are you ready to pay for what you said out there earlier?” his voice deep in a raspy whisper.

Charlie exhaled slowly and melted into Nick. “Honestly Nick? I’m just too tired to do anything but sleep.”

“Oh, oh OK. Yeah, sure,” Nick rolled away and faced the other side of the tent.

Instantly, Charlie knew something was wrong but he didn’t understand what. He honestly was just too tired to do anything physical but sleep, but obviously that had hurt Nick in some way and he wasn’t going to let it go because he never wanted to hurt Nick if he could avoid it.

Charlie rolled onto his other side and reached for Nick’s shoulder, feeling him flinch when he touched him. His hand trailed slowly down his arm to his elbow and then he pulled himself flush behind Nick, his fingers opening to thread through Nick’s.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” he whispered, wanting to make sure the others couldn’t hear him.

Nick didn’t respond but Charlie could feel his pillow move so he knew Nick had shaken his head. He tightened his grip on him. 

“Baby, I know something is wrong. Please tell me,” Charlie begged quietly.

He felt Nick take a shuddering breath against him. “I just… it’s just a me thing, Charlie. You didn’t do anything wrong…”

“OK, but something is bothering you and I don’t want to be the one who hurts you, so the only way to avoid that is for us to talk about it…please, Nick, please tell me what I did.”

Nick was silent for a long beat before he finally whispered, “It just, it brought back all the feelings of rejection I used to have, before, with Imogen, when you said you were too tired.”

Charlie felt tears well in his eyes; he hadn’t even considered being honest with Nick that he was too tired to do anything would feel like rejection for him.

“Oh Nick, Oh my god, I’m so sorry! That was absolutely not what I meant at all!” Charlie whispered with as much quiet force as he could. “I just, honestly, I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open and didn’t want to not give you the attention you deserve…I didn’t even think of it making you feel like I was rejecting you. Because I’m not, I’m 100% not rejecting you! I’m just honestly too tired for sex right now.”

Nick turned quickly towards him, and wrapped his arm around Charlie’s waist. 

“I know that, I do. And you have every right to say no when you’re not into it, I wouldn’t want you to do it when you don’t want to…it just…I can’t help that that’s what my brain heard when you said you were too tired…”

Charlie touched his nose to Nick’s and leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. “I love you so much, Nick, so much you can’t even comprehend it. But I just don’t want to have sex tonight; I’m tired and there are other people really close by, but that absolutely has no bearing on my love for you. I’m so sorry it made you feel that way.”

Nick kissed him back and then leaned down to lay his head along Charlie’s chest. He let out another shaky breath and nodded slowly. “I know. I’m sorry for making a big deal out of this.”

“No Nick, it’s OK! I want to hear what you think, always. I just, I think maybe we should revisit this conversation another time, when we’re not so tired and we can talk properly…” Charlie suggested in a gentle voice, still trying to keep their conversation private.

“Yeah,” Nick sighed, “You're right…”

Charlie kissed Nick on the top of his head before saying “I love you baby, ‘night.”

“G’night Char, love you too.”

The next morning dawned cool like the mountains usually do, their breaths showing in the air. Everyone donned warm sweatpants and hoodies over their pajamas while Charlie got the fire going to warm them up. Michael put the kettle on the campstove to boil water for coffee and hot chocolate as the young people filtered out of their tents in search of the bathroom. Once everyone had a hot drink in their hands, they huddled around the fire to keep warm until the sun was high in the sky. Breakfast was hot oatmeal and fruit that morning and was quickly eaten since the kids were eager to go on a hike before it got too hot. 

They set off on the well-worn trail around 10 am, the sun fully up in the sky now, the birds calling loudly to each other as they walked through the trees, across the creek and slowly climbed the mountainside. They talked loudly as they walked, partly as a distraction for wildlife, partly because they were having such a good time together. Charlie and Tori led the way, the kids in the middle, with Michael and Nick bringing up the rear. As they ascended, Charlie could hear bits and pieces of their conversation about coaching teenagers - the joys and challenges of it, and he was pleased they seemed to be making a connection. The meadow they passed through was full of late summer blooms, the bees buzzing between each one happily. Eventually, the sun climbed higher in the sky until they were all getting warm and stopped for a water break. 

About an hour later, they reached the turnabout of the trail where giant boulders were situated along the edge of the mountain and the view from the top was spectacular. They all stood atop the huge rock formation, breathed in the fresh air and marveled at the sight below. The surrounding mountains were covered in pine trees as far as the eye could see, with the lake shining like glass below. Evidence of previous years' forest fires reminded them of the importance of fire safety and gave them an appreciation for the changes nature went through following such events.

They ate a small snack of apples and nuts and drank more water before they began their descent, having not seen another soul the entire time they were on the trail. The way back down was easier, of course, and quicker, so they arrived in time for lunch back at the campsite. After sandwiches, fruit and chips, they made their way back to the lake to swim again and spent the afternoon there.

The evening passed in a similar manner as the day before, except it was Charlie and Nick’s turn to serve dinner. Nick had prepared a pot of his vegetarian chili and frozen it before they left so it could thaw in the cooler and he warmed it for their dinner. Charlie got out the paper bowls and reusable camping spoons, as well as the cheese, sour cream, and corn chips they liked to add to the chili. Everyone loved it and Charlie beamed with pride for him. 

It had been slightly awkward between them throughout the day, even though Charlie felt they had resolved the misunderstanding the night before. He knew they’d need to talk again though, and decided to try and sneak Nick away for another hike tomorrow, just the two of them, to talk. 

After a relaxing fire with roasted marshmallows for dessert and a rousing political discussion, everyone made their way to bed. Charlie could hear the kids whispering softly to each other, occasionally laughing louder than they intended, when Nick climbed into the tent with him. He’d sent Daisy to sleep with the kids since their tent was significantly bigger than Nick and Charlie’s. They cuddled together, whispering a bit about the day. Charlie told Nick he wanted to go on a hike for just the two of them tomorrow which Nick readily agreed to, before they drifted into a peaceful sleep, the silence of the woods surrounding them.

The next day continued much the same as the previous one, with breakfast, morning walk, afternoon at the lake, games in between, lots of good food and drink. Nick and Charlie couldn’t escape for their hike alone because they had decided to rent canoes right after lunch and they didn’t want to miss it. They planned to go the next day, their last full day of camping. The canoes were worth it, as they all drifted slowly together around the edge of the lake, weaving through the pussywillows, spying ducks and turtles in the water, and deer on the opposite shore from the swimming area. It was the perfect day, even though Charlie was sad to see Nick in pain from another sunburn since he hadn’t put on enough sunscreen to deal with the sun, plus the reflection off the water. 

Back at the campsite, while Michael made spaghetti for dinner, Charlie rubbed aloe vera on Nick’s shoulders and chest to soothe his flaming skin and covered him in a lightweight cotton hoodie to protect it from the heat of the fire. While they ate, the discussion turned towards the new school year coming up, the older boys going into their final year of high school, and what their plans were for the future. Nick mentioned his interest in starting a Pride club at the school, which the group enthusiastically supported. Especially Niles who really wanted to meet some other queer kids, quietly admitting he and Liam had broken up. Nick appeared taken aback that he hadn’t known and hurried to comfort him, although Niles waved off the concern, saying it was a mutual decision and they were still friends. 

Charlie made fireside popcorn for their evening snack that night, which the kids found so much fun. He was so glad they were having this bonding experience; he hoped it would continue and they would feel comfortable with him in their lives, and hopefully trust him as a person they could come to when they needed someone.

The final full day of the camping trip was a bit cooler, which was perfect timing for Nick and Charlie to go on their own hike. They had showered in the cold drip travel shower in the morning so were feeling fresh and eager for a bit of alone time. Charlie felt it was really important to revisit the conversation they had started a few nights ago and he hesitantly broached the topic as they walked hand in hand slowly on the path.

“Nick…I really want to talk a bit about what happened the night we got here,” Charlie began.

Nick nodded slowly, “Yeah, we should. I’m really sorry Charlie, I let my old insecurities come into it like that.”

“It’s OK, Nick,” Charlie reassured, “you can’t help that's how it made you feel. I…I imagine being tired was an excuse Imogen gave often?”

He sighed. “Yeah, I mean, and to be fair, we were tired a lot especially when the kids were little. And she had every right to say no when she didn’t want to. It just, it turned out she basically never did want to have sex…and I took it personally. I think…I think I’m afraid that you’ll change your mind too, like it felt like she did.”

Charlie stopped walking and pulled Nick around to face him, so he could look him directly in the eyes.

“Nick, I promise, I do want to have sex with you, like, I want you all the time. I love you so much and sex is really important to me too.”

Nick closed his eyes and nodded, releasing a long exhale. “I know, I know you’ve told me that. I just felt…feel insecure about it sometimes still.”

Charlie leaned forward to rest his forehead against Nick's. “I get that darling, I really do. But sometimes, there will be times when one of us is too tired, or doesn't feel well, or just isn’t in the mood for one reason or the other. And that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other, or that we are rejecting the other, OK?”

Nick nodded again, looking pensive.

“I think we have to just continue to be really honest about this, you know? You have to trust me that I’m being truthful when I say ‘I love you’ even if I don’t want to have sex every time that you do. And vice versa, because sometimes I might want to and you don’t,” Charlie went on.

Nick huffed, “I’m not sure I’ll ever not want you, Charlie. I think about it, like all the time with you. I worry…” he trailed off, turning away to continue down the path.

“What do you worry about Nick?” Charlie asked softly.

“I worry that you’re bored with me, sex-wise. Since, you know, you're the first man I’ve been with in a really long time. And…I haven’t been ready to…’go all the way’ with you,” Nick said, his fingers making air quotes around the words as he hung his head.

Charlie reached out and grabbed Nick’s hand, squeezing tightly in reassurance. 

“Nick, I am in no hurry for us to have anal sex…I think sex can be a lot of different things, like all the things we’ve been doing, I’m in no way unhappy with that! I love everything we’ve done together, Nick. I’m so incredibly happy with you, with our sex life.”

Nick paused, turning to look at Charlie with a question in his eye, “Are you sure? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

Charlie stopped walking, forcing Nick to turn towards him again. “I am so sure. I want to do everything with you, but at our pace, not just your pace, our pace. We set that pace Nick, not society that tries to tell us sex is a list of check marks we have to follow. I love everything we’ve done to this point, and I’ll love everything we do moving forward. We just have to keep talking about it, OK?”

Nick was looking at him with such an adoring expression on his face that he couldn’t hold back any longer. He placed his hands softly on both sides of Nick’s face and pulled him in for a deep kiss, his lips opening so his tongue could seek entrance into Nick’s mouth. Nick responded with a groan and pulled Charlie closer to him, their bodies tight against each other, pouring all the love they felt into the kiss. Charlie pulled away with a gasp, his chest heaving with his need to show Nick how serious he was, to make him see how much he wanted him. He glanced around, and then pulled Nick forward along the path, hurrying to a secluded spot he remembered from previous times he had hiked this area.

Nearing the end of the trail, overlooking the surrounding mountains, there was a small copse of trees, obscured from the view of the trail, just far enough away that, in the unlikely event someone else traversed the path, they wouldn’t see or hear them. Charlie pulled Nick into the shadow of the trees and threw himself into his arms, wrapping around him and drawing him in for a long passionate kiss. After the sexual topic of conversation, the long days since they had been together, and the buildup of tension since their kiss further down the path, Charlie was desperate for Nick. He knew they were sweaty and hadn’t had a proper shower in a number of days, but he didn’t care, he needed Nick now.

Leaning Nick against a thick tree, Charlie braced himself against him, wrapping one foot around his calf to intertwine their legs, and rubbed his hardened length against Nick’s thigh. A loud gasp erupted from Nick, who quickly slid his hands inside Charlie’s shirt, lightly scraping his fingertips up and down Charlie’s back, and he ground his hips into him, creating a delicious friction. 

Their kisses became sloppier and their breathing more erratic when Charlie reached between them to palm Nick through his shorts and then up from the hemline on his thigh into his boxer briefs where he grasped Nick firmly in his hand and began to stroke him quickly, using the precum that had started to leak as lube. Nick moaned loudly and gasped out, “Jesus, Charlie…” which Charlie took as confirmation that Nick liked what he was doing. He released him from the awkward angle, brought his palm to his mouth and licked a slow stripe before he reached back in from the waistline to take hold of Nick again.

Nick’s eyes closed tightly, his face reacting to Charlie’s movements as he held tightly to Charlie’s shoulders and bucked up into Charlie’s hand, panting his name. Charlie leaned closer to Nick’s ear, took the lobe gently between his teeth and whispered huskily, “Come for me Nick. Come, please…” Nick cried out and shook as he came, Charlie angling himself away and Nick’s dick towards the ground to spill his seed and avoid their clothes.

Charlie felt like he was right on the edge of coming himself but he waited until Nick had come down from his high and turned his attention back to Charlie. Nick kissed him thoroughly, his tongue tangling with Charlie’s in quick sweeps.

“I’m so close, Nick,” Charlie whimpered, “Please…”

Nick spun Charlie around, pulled his back against his chest, Nick’s own back still against the tree, and pulled Charlie’s clothes out of the way, releasing his cock. He gripped lightly around Charlie with one hand, the other holding Charlie’s chest back against him and began to work him over. 

“Oh god, Nick, holy fuck,” Charlie gasped, as he came apart mere moments later, his cum joining Nick’s on the ground below at their feet.

They stayed wrapped around each other like that until their breathing returned to normal, and Charlie turned his head to the side to kiss Nick gently on the neck.

“That was…” Charlie sighed.

“It was…” Nick smiled.

They made their way down the mountainside hand in hand, feeling closer for having had the hard conversation and the sex that followed. It was their turn to make dinner that night and they worked together to prepare grilled chicken, couscous and green beans from Nick’s garden. The fireside discussion once again turned to the upcoming election, the adults all feeling more hopeful for a positive result than they had before. The very real chance existed for the first female president, and a woman of color, no less, and they were determined to do all they could to make that dream a reality. They collectively felt like the future of the safety of their families and community, and possibly the stability of the entire world, was at risk, so it felt like a monumental moment they wanted to be a part of. 

The next morning, they all groggily packed their belongings, folded up the tents, and attempted to fit everything back in the cars where it had been on the way there. The four nights they had spent away from society, from technology, from the pressure of life, had rejuvenated them in body and spirit and they felt ready to tackle the coming school year, the coming work weeks and the coming election with renewed vigor. They were going to need it.

Chapter Text

Nick

After an amazing summer, Nick was ready to get back to the classroom. It was nice having such a long time off but he was looking forward to the routine of work after a blissful summer of freedom. He had spent a lot of quality time with his kids - baseball games, hiking, bike rides, days at the lake, and the short camping trip at the end of August. His garden was thriving, the end-of-summer heat ripening the last of the cucumbers, tomatoes and green beans. There had been so many peaches and plums, he and Imogen had had to spend a day canning them for the coming year. The squash and pumpkins would be ready in the next month, and the apples also. He loved to be in his small garden, it felt like an oasis in his own backyard, and he was passionate about the positive impact real food had on health and the environment. It was a lot of work but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

He was also very passionate about the students he taught, and making sure they had the support they needed to thrive both as students and as people. His conversations with Charlie and his own children over the summer had created a desire in him to do everything he could to make a difference in the lives of the queer students, to ensure they had a safe and supportive environment to learn, as well as a support system to help them through the challenges they often faced. He hadn’t yet decided what he wanted to do about it, but he had started reading about Gay Straight Alliance clubs and was hoping to sponsor something similar.

As a language teacher, he loved when his students’ eyes were opened to the world outside their own back door. In America, it was so easy to assume and believe everything and everyone in the world revolved around the US. Through his French classes, Nick could instill an appreciation for another culture, other countries, other ways of thinking. He found now, given the current political climate, and the often conservative mindset of many who lived in this part of the state, this was an even more critical part of his curriculum. 

On the first day, Nick had set his alarm earlier than normal, knowing he would need extra time to ensure he was prepared. Even though he was at the apartment this week and not in charge of the kids, the first week was always challenging and he really couldn’t afford anything unexpected to happen. He realised he had forgotten to inform Charlie of his need for focus when he received a very distracting text with a selfie attached first thing in the morning.

Charlie [6:00] : ‘Good morning baby! I’m heading out on a quick run before work but just wanted to wish you good luck on the first day back to school! Can’t wait to hear all about it later…xxx’

Nick smiled, gazing longingly at the picture of Charlie with his hair held back by a headband. He imagined him running in his short shorts and tshirt, his lithe body so graceful and quick. He held back a groan as his mind went to other, hidden parts of Charlie and his body responded of its own accord.

Nick [6:08] : ‘Ugh Charlie, you've got me all hot and bothered thinking about you running…now I need a SHOWER iykwim.’

Charlie [6:09] : ‘Should I just run over there and take a shower with you? 😊 jk we both have to work. But I’ll think about you during my shower, if you want to think about me during yours.’

Nick [6:09] : ‘Charlie… 🥵 (but we should do that some time soon!) xxx’

Nick hurtled out of bed and raced to the bathroom, turning the water on immediately, his brain already providing visual images of Charlie wet in the shower, and he knew this delay wouldn’t take long and would relax him for the first day of school. He stepped in, letting the water cascade over him, and gripped his already fully hard cock in his hand. He imagined his hand was Charlie’s and it was his other hand that trailed across his chest and pinched his nipples. He stroked himself faster, pleasure building deep within his belly, his legs starting to shake with the effort to stay upright and still achieve the best friction. Moments later, he flicked his wrist along the tip just like Charlie did to him and he lost control, painting the wall of his single shower.

Still breathing heavily, he quickly finished washing his hair and body and got out, wrapping his waist in a soft green towel. As payback to Charlie for the (welcome) distraction, he took a selfie of his bare chest and his flushed cheeks showing how much he had enjoyed his shower that morning. He made sure the V at his hips pointing into his towel was visible and sent the picture with a winking emoji to Charlie, hoping to fluster him as much as he had been bothered (not bothered!) .

In reality, the shower had only taken a couple of extra minutes so he wouldn’t be late to work. It was still quite hot weather so Nick tried to dress as comfortably as possible, in a short sleeved navy blue button up with tiny white flowers on it, paired with khaki shorts and his Vans. It was nice to still be able to be a little casual, while the weather was so warm. He put his lanyard around his neck, feeling the familiar rush of excitement for the first day of school that he did every year. Using his reusable drink cup, he filled it with ice and poured his cold brew over it and added a small amount of flavored cream, laughing at how his kids teased him that his love for iced coffee when it was hot outside was “so gay”. Nick didn’t know how iced coffee when it was summer was any more gay than hot coffee when it was winter but at the moment, he was very OK with being considered “so gay”.

He sat at the little table to eat some granola with raspberries from the garden, reading the news as he did. As always, the election was the top story and he read up on the latest, the preparation for the debate next week. (Sounds like a perfect night for a drinking game…) He knew he and his older kids would want to watch it and he hoped Charlie would come over to watch it with them. He made a mental note to buy some alcohol, either to commiserate or celebrate, he wasn’t sure.

Sipping his coffee as he drove, he sang along to Taylor’s new album that he had been obsessed with since it was released this summer, the twenty-minute drive passing quickly and his first day jitters growing. Everyone expected the students to be nervous on their first day but no one talked about the teachers who also experienced this anxiety, no matter how many years of experience they had. It was a lot to memorize the names of his new first year students and Nick wanted to maintain his reputation as one of the school’s favorites.

He made his way into the building, greeting his colleagues that he passed along the way, including one of the new music teachers Sahar Zahid, who was wearing an identical pride lanyard to his. (Hmmm, interesting…I should try to get to know her better.) They had met briefly at the new school year staff meetings last week and he remembered her being kind. When he finally reached his classroom, he expelled a deep sigh of relief because this room had been a safe haven for him since he started teaching at Truham. He really wanted it to feel the same for his students this year; he felt that way every year but this year it felt especially important to him.

The day passed quickly, a flurry of meeting new students and greeting the returning ones, leading the awkward “getting to know you” ice breakers every student hated, but Nick felt obligated to include, going over classroom expectations and the semester syllabus. He was already planning a trip to France during the upcoming Spring Break for his upperclassmen students, those who had been studying French since the beginning of high school and were currently in the third or fourth year class. He was excited to share about it with the students, promising more information coming to their parents soon for those interested.  

Niles met him at his door at the end of the day for a ride home so he didn’t have to take the bus because Matt had a science club meeting. 

“Hey bud, how’d the first day go?” Nick asked as he finished packing his laptop into his satchel.

Niles nodded, “It was alright. Hard to get up this morning though…” he paused and glanced around before coming closer to his dad and whispered to him in French like he usually did when he didn’t want others to overhear, “I met a new kid today, Papa. He’s in my math class and…I think I have a crush on him.”

Nick reached over and hugged his son, kissing him lightly on the top of the head (I won’t be able to do that much longer with him, he’s growing so fast) and responded in French, “That’s great love. Did you talk to him much? Did you feel a vibe from him that he might be into guys too?”

Niles shook his head. “We only talked a little but he sits next to me in class so maybe I’ll get a chance to find out?” He shrugged, “It’s so hard to know unless they just come right out and tell you, you know?”

Nick agreed. “And, he might not even know himself at this point in his life. I didn’t understand it until I was a lot older.”

He slung his bag over his shoulder and they made their way out of the classroom, into the hallway towards the car. 

“Papa? How do I know if someone likes me like that?” Niles asked shyly.

“Well…I mean, I think it’s different for everyone. Some people are really obvious about it, flirting and touching you a lot. Others are quieter and don’t say anything at all. Sometimes, it hits you all at once, like it sounds like it did with this guy today; other times, it develops slowly as your friendship turns into something more. There is no one way to like or fall in love with someone. It’s different for everyone…does that make sense?”

Niles looked like he was deep in thought. “I guess so. I think it’s confusing to me because sometimes I like girls but that’s usually after I’ve been friends with them for a long time. And then when I like a boy, it’s like today, it just happens fast. I don’t get why it's not the same.”

Nick pondered what his son was so maturely trying to express, nodding thoughtfully. 

“That's OK, Niles. There are people who will try to make us believe that attraction and love have to follow a particular path every time, but I think, what’s most important is that you do what is best for you. And…I’m always here to talk whenever you need me, alright?”

Niles smiled at him and nodded. “Thanks Papa, I will.”

They drove home talking about less serious topics, what classes Niles liked and which friends he had classes with. Nick proposed the idea of the GSA to Niles, and whether he would want to organize it, since it had to be a student-led club, Nick could only be an advisor. Niles agreed to think about it, and talk to his other queer friends - a lesbian girl from his choir class and a nonbinary friend from engineering, and see if they would be willing to help him. When they drove up to the house to drop Niles off, Nick reached across the center console to give him a hug, thanking him for trusting him and wishing him a good rest of the day. As Niles climbed out of the car, Nick’s heart clenched with love for his son and his vulnerability today. It made him immediately want to talk to Charlie.

Nick [3:15] : ‘Babe, I know you still have patients for another hour. Just had a really good talk with Niles on the way home from school, made me miss you. Can’t wait for you to come for dinner. Love you xx’

Nick drove to the apartment, his mind mulling over his talk with Niles, and processing his own teen experiences. He was so impressed that his son could so freely articulate the way his attractions varied between genders and how transparent he was with Nick about it. Nick knew he had never felt free to talk to either of his parents about his sexuality, even about the crushes he had on girls, let alone the confusing feelings he had had about the occasional boy.

While Sarah was doing her best now to be open about Nick’s bisexuality and the identities of her grandkids, his dad and brother had never been anything but homophobic, and that toxic hatred had been felt long before Nick had questions about his own sexuality. Even though they were not deeply religious people growing up, the influence of Christianity was ingrained in the fabric of American society, and his home had been no different. From casually homophobic jokes to blatant disgust at that “lifestyle”, to the belief that gay men were “getting what they deserved” when they became sick with AIDS, Nick had grown up so surrounded by intolerance that it was no wonder he had buried his attraction to men, feeling like he could ignore it in the wake of also being attracted to women. He didn’t want others to ever have to deal with the same self loathing and fear of discovery that he had, especially young people. The conversation with Niles had even further impressed on him the desire, the need, to sponsor a GSA at the school.

Once he arrived home, he felt like his nerves were buzzing on high alert. There had been too much adrenaline and a lot of emotion for one day and he was fidgety with it. Knowing Charlie wouldn’t be off work for another 45 minutes or so, he decided to go for a run to burn off some steam and end at the office so they could walk back together and Charlie could help him process everything his mind was struggling to organize into coherent thoughts. He made sure he had everything they would need for dinner when they got home and changed into exercise gear for a short run around the park and then to Charlie’s office.

It was still quite hot when Nick stepped outside, the sun only just now starting to dip beyond the treeline. He jogged slowly around the park a couple of times, his earbuds playing music to distract him from his thoughts, and made his way to Charlie’s office, reaching it just as he saw Isaac leaving for the day. He waved a greeting, which Isaac reciprocated, before he climbed in his car to go home. Nick entered the building, heard the door chime his arrival and a confused Charlie entered the waiting room.

“Nick? Everything alright? I just got your text and was getting ready to respond and come over,” Charlie said, moving towards him to take him in his arms.

“No, sorry, I’m fine. It's all OK. I just couldn’t get out of my head, had too much energy from the first day of school built up so decided to run and then come here to walk home with you,” Nick quickly replied to reassure Charlie. 

Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good, I was worried,” he glanced behind him and dropped his voice to a whisper, “I was worried when I didn’t respond to your pic this morning that you were upset with me or something.”

Nick laughed loudly, “Char, I’ve been so busy I barely noticed you hadn’t responded…why didn’t you though, now that you mention it? I hope I didn't go too far sending you a shirtless pic, did I?”

Charlie smiled at him slyly from under his lashes, “I was too…busy to reply. And then I got here and the day was full so I literally didn’t have time.”

Nick dipped his head in embarrassment and shoved his hands in the pockets of his running shorts, holding himself down from his reaction to thoughts of Charlie being “busy” looking at his picture.

Charlie giggled and said, “We’re almost done here. Can you wait five more minutes and we can walk home together?”

Nick nodded, offered his help, which Charlie declined, and sat to wait. He decided to text Sean to check in to see how the first week of his second year of university was going, and asked if he was planning to watch the debate. After a few minutes, he’d responded that the new classes were interesting, he was getting on well with his new roommate, work was busy but good, and he was going to a debate watching party with the student government association he was a member of. They texted for a couple of minutes more and then Charlie came out, having changed from his scrubs into his own workout clothes and running shoes, his backpack over his shoulders. Nick sent a final ‘love you’ text to Sean and pocketed his phone to take Charlie’s hand.

Charlie called out his farewell to Tori as they left and leaned in to give Nick a quick peck on the lips, asking how his first day of school had been. Nick hummed thoughtfully before he responded. 

“The school day went fine. It’s always overwhelming to have so many new students, and I’m teaching three periods of first years this semester, so it’s a lot of new faces. The freshmen are always nervous and that energy is a bit hard, but that’ll fade this week. My returning students, the third, and especially the fourth year periods, are excited about the Paris trip in the spring so that was fun.”

Nick paused. “There’s a new music teacher who had a matching Pride lanyard to mine; I’m trying to figure out how to approach her without being rude or awkward, because I really want to sponsor a GSA this year, and I’d ideally have a female-presenting teacher do it with me as well. I have to wait until Niles talks to his friends, see if they want to organize it since it has to be student-led, and then maybe I’ll reach out to her? Ask her casually if she’d be interested? I don’t want to presume anything just because she wears a rainbow…”

Nick glanced at Charlie to gauge his reaction, and saw Charlie trying to hide a smile.

“What???”

“Just thinking back to when I first saw that lanyard, how I desperately wished it meant you were queer, but I was so afraid of getting my hopes up. I kept telling myself it was just because you had queer kids, like, that you wore it as an ally,” Charlie said with a grin. “I’m so glad it turned out I was wrong.”

Nick squeezed his hand and kissed him quickly while they walked, “I can’t believe you hadn’t been paying attention to all the signals I was sending, not to mention the fact that I had told you I was bisexual!” Nick laughed.

“To be fair Nick, I was just trying to protect myself from heartbreak again. And when you told me you were bisexual, it was in the middle of a statement about your kids’ identities so it was easy to miss! I didn't want to be a creep coming onto his patient!” Charlie argued, laughing.

“Well, it’s a good thing we got out of our own way and figured it out, right?” Nick reasoned, leaning over to kiss him again.

Charlie stopped walking and turned to face Nick, pulling him into a deeper kiss. “Very good,” he breathed.

“So you mentioned something about a conversation with Niles when you texted earlier?” Charlie started walking again towards Nick’s apartment. 

“Yeah, we had this really amazing conversation where he said there’s a boy he met today that he has a little crush on, he was wondering how to know when someone likes him in that way…he mentioned how the girls he likes are usually friends first, and how the attraction is different for him…I was really proud of his willingness and ability to talk about it like that,” Nick shared, feeling wistful thinking about his sweet son. 

“Nick, oh my god, you are such a good dad. The fact that your teenage son would talk to you about that is amazing. I would have never told my dad about anybody I liked when I was his age! Wait…why do you seem sad about that?” Charlie asked perceptively.

“I think it just made me think of my own teen years again and the homophobia I was surrounded with. It made me feel even more passionate about sponsoring this club at the school.”

Nick went on to share more with Charlie about what it had been like in his home growing up, most of which they had talked about in small bits before, and how he still carried so much of the hurt with him and why he honestly didn’t feel a strong urge to reconcile with his brother. Charlie told Nick about how his parents had been so supportive of him coming out, even in the 90s when there was so much more stigma attached, but they still hadn’t really known how to help when the bullying had been so bad for him. 

“I know I’m not attached to the school Nick, so I can’t officially be part of it…but maybe I could, like, sponsor some of the financial part? Provide food and drinks for get togethers, supplies to make posters or flyers, that kind of thing? It would be a great thing for the business to support, I think.”

Nick gazed adoringly at Charlie, he couldn’t believe he was so lucky to love this man. 

“I think that would be perfect,” he agreed, squeezing Charlie’s hand again.

By now, they had reached Nick’s apartment and went in, working together to prepare a simple pasta and vegetable dish since it still felt too hot to use the oven. They talked more over the meal - Charlie telling a funny story about a patient wanting him to glue his completely broken tooth back together and Nick told Charlie about the awkwardness of having Matt’s girlfriend in his class. The conversation flowed easily, both sharing their day and life together. When Nick dropped Charlie off at home later that evening, they kissed deeply, pouring their love into each other.

A week later, Nick and Charlie, plus the kids and Tara and Darcy, all gathered after work for a Presidential Debate watching party. Tara and Darcy bought pizzas from Charlie’s favorite pizza place, verifying what toppings he was ok with, and Nick purchased a variety of booze for the adults and sodas for the kids. It was a weeknight so no one would be drinking too much, but it was sure to be a shitshow that would be much more enjoyable with the aid of alcohol. 

Their plates and glasses full, they scattered around the living room and the attached dining room to watch Kamala take on Trump. Having seen both of them speak before, they were sure she was going to wipe the floor with him and they weren’t disappointed. From the very start, he was rude to her, did not follow proper debate etiquette, and said untrue things about her. She took control of the conversation though, answering questions with clarity and (mostly) clear responses. He became unhinged as it went on, making false claims about immigrants in Ohio and transgender operations. The first of which led to uproarious laughter from their group, the second to shouts of outrage at the television. It continued in a similar manner throughout the 90 minute long debate, with her having to visibly refrain from calling him a “motherfucker” in the midst of his outrageous claims about the Democratic party and her as a person. 

The pizza was long gone and the alcohol no longer affecting them as they discussed the upcoming election season, how they felt about her chances and what they could do to support a resistance to Trump. The debate was clearly a win for her given the disturbed accusations he made as if they were facts. As a group they felt hopeful the election would go their way and their community could continue to feel safe and protected by the government.

The following weekend, now two weeks into the school year, Nick started to feel the routine of work, kids, Charlie and other activities was balancing out. He was getting back into the rhythm of teaching during the day, spending time with the kids and/or Charlie in the evenings before doing his prep work and collapsing into bed each night. They were still running on Saturdays with the Front Runners and continued in their pre-relationship family hang out times on Sundays -  Nick frequently spending time with Tara and Darcy while Charlie went to his parent’s house. Nick had joined a few times, and vice versa, but they were trying to maintain their lives as individuals as well. 

On Saturday night, when the kids were with Imogen, Nick invited Tara and Darcy to come to Pink Pony again with him to watch Charlie perform, which they readily accepted. The set began at 9pm so they all met at 8 for a drink with Charlie before he went on. They laughed and traded stories about everything going on in their lives. By the time Charlie left their little group to perform, they were feeling loose and relaxed, the drinks working their magic. When he was gone, Tara leaned over the table to Nick.

“So, Nick, how’s it actually going? Not that I think you’re lying when Charlie is around, I just wanted to make sure everything is good, that he’s treating you well?”

Nick quickly swallowed the last of his beer. “Yeah, honestly Tara, it’s so good. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with him, he’s amazing.”

“And the kids? How do they feel about him?” Darcy asked.

“I mean, they all say they really like him. None of them have given me any indication they are unhappy about it. Why? Have they said something to you guys?” Nick rushed over his words, worried.

“No! No, nothing like that. We were just checking in, you know? Making sure you know you can talk to us if you need or want to,” Tara clarified. 

The band had started playing now, Nick subconsciously nodding his head along to the familiar beats of Charlie drumming in the background, thinking about what they were asking.

“I think…they really like Charlie. They like that I am happy again. I think they knew I had been sad for a long time, with Imogen, even though I tried really hard to hide it from them…I’m not sure how any of them might feel about Charlie and I becoming more serious though, like if we want to move in eventually. And honestly, I’m not 100% sure how Charlie feels about being a ‘step-parent’, whether he even has interest in a deeper role than he has right now…I guess I’ve been afraid to ask…” Nick trailed off, the vibe of the night having cooled considerably. 

“Oh Nick, we didn’t mean anything by it, asking you this. It’s obvious that Charlie is so in love with you, it’s a bit unbearable to watch sometimes honestly. And I think he is falling for your kids too. If you’re concerned, you can talk to him about it but I really don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Tara soothed, her hand rubbing his arm gently.

“You sure?” Nick whispered, terrified that maybe he had missed something they saw but he hadn’t, that he might lose Charlie.

“Absolutely,” Tara said emphatically, Darcy nodding with her. 

“That man is so gone for you. In fact, he hasn’t stopped staring at you the whole time he’s been up there,” Darcy giggled.

Nick glanced up from his shaky hands and burst into a wide grin. Sure enough, Charlie was looking right at him with such a loving expression on his face, Nick wasn’t sure why he had doubted him even for a second. He made his way to the bar for another round for the group and they stood on the fringe of the dance floor, bobbing their heads to the beat and singing along to the rest of the set. He loved watching Charlie drum; it was so hot, and Nick just wanted to take him home, rip his clothes off and show him how amazing he was. 

When the band finished up and the DJ took over, the four of them had another round of drinks together before sharing an Uber home, Nick whispering to Charlie just what he wanted to do to him when they got home. Charlie blushed, his breath quickening and his grip tightened on Nick’s leg for the final few minutes of the drive. Nick fought to look straight out the window, not risking a glance at Charlie, knowing he might not be able to control himself if he so much as met his eyes.

They crashed through the front door, Charlie barely getting it locked again before Nick was on him, spinning him around to kiss him intensely. They licked into each other's mouths, tongues fighting for dominance, tasting the alcohol they had drunk earlier, desperate to merge together. Nick reached for Charlie’s hemline, forced his arms over his head and wrenched the t-shirt off. He threw it on the floor before he reached down and repeated the procedure with his own. Charlie gasped against him, grabbing his bare shoulders, his hands roaming all over Nick’s upper body as quickly as he could. Nick wrapped his arms firmly around Charlie and began to walk backward with him towards Charlie’s bedroom, not breaking their lips apart the entire time.

Their breathing was ragged as they closed the bedroom door and Nick reached to unbutton Charlie’s ripped jeans, before he stopped himself to ask Charlie’s permission. At Charlie’s enthusiastic nod, Nick pulled them roughly down, kneeling on the floor to help Charlie release his feet from his pants and socks in one fluid motion. He stayed there, on his knees in front of Charlie, kissing his way up his legs to his hips, and then nuzzled his face into Charlie’s clothed dick, before he slowly made his way up Charlie’s abdomen, leaving a trail of kisses behind, until he reached his lips again. Charlie groaned deeply into his mouth as they kissed openly, swallowing each other's moans.

Charlie breathed to him to remove his own pants, his hands tangled in the short hairs on the back of Nick’s head, lightly scratching him, causing Nick to whimper and quickly comply with Charlie’s request. They stumble-walked towards the bed, unwilling to break apart even for the shortest time. Nick turned them so that he could lead Charlie to sit on the edge of the bed and knelt before him again, looking Charlie deeply in his blown out eyes. He glanced down at Charlie’s bulge in his underwear and knew what he wanted - to finally taste him, if Charlie agreed. 

Nick buried his face in Charlie’s crotch and breathily asked, “Charlie, baby, can I have you in my mouth this time?” rubbing his nose along his length as he spoke.

Charlie whined and rutted up into him saying, “Yes, oh fuck Nick, yes please, please do that.”

Nick reached underneath Charlie on the bed and grasped his underwear, sliding them off, allowing his fingertips to trace Charlie’s ass as he pulled them down to the floor. Charlie groaned again above him when his cock sprung free, slapping into his stomach, leaking already. Nick reached down to his own erection, palming it a couple of times for some relief, focusing on Charlie in front of him and imagining all he wanted to do to him.

He tentatively leaned forward, connecting his lips to Charlie's inner knee and slowly kissed his way up his leg, dragging his tongue along the path. Charlie shuddered and breathed rapidly, “God, Nick…”

Nick gently wrapped one arm around Charlie’s waist, securing him in position and placed his other hand at Charlie’s groin, leading his cock slowly to his mouth. Carefully, he traced the length with his tongue, marvelling at the tight, rippled skin underneath and the smooth, velvet tip where he placed a gentle kiss before lapping around in a circle to collect the precum on his tongue. Charlie gasped and began to murmur loving encouragement to Nick. Self-conscious because he’d never done this part before, and Imogen had never wanted to do it to him, he took extra care to listen to Charlie and do what pleased him.

He opened his mouth as wide as he could and, after licking from the base to the tip again, took as much of Charlie into his mouth as he could, slowly sinking lower and lower until he felt Charlie at the back of his throat. The sensation was so amazing, the weight of Charlie felt so perfect, Nick couldn’t help but groan himself, the vibrations making Charlie cry out and move inside him. Nick smiled around him and began to suck up and down Charlie’s cock, flicking his tongue across the slit each time he came up. Charlie’s breathing was ragged and he was whimpering like he was barely able to hold himself together. 

With another long stroke of his tongue, Nick popped off, looked up at Charlie’s flushed face and eyes tightly shut in pleasure, and told Charlie he wanted him to come down his throat, he wanted to swallow all of him down. Charlie’s eyes flew open and he stared wide-eyed at Nick and exhaled heavily. 

“Are you sure Nick?”

“I’m 100% sure, Charlie, I can’t wait to taste you.”

Charlie sighed with a shudder and nodded, “Please Nick, god I want you so bad.”

That was all the encouragement Nick needed and he quickly took Charlie all the way down, his hand stroking his balls and moments later, Charlie cried out loudly, his balls seized up, and Nick’s mouth was flooded with the salty-sweet flavor of the man he loved. He swallowed convulsively, wanting desperately to keep all of Charlie inside, and thrilled at the noises of pleasure Charlie was making above him. He felt like he was going to come himself, untouched, from the heady experience, but he quickly put pressure on his base to hold off, hoping Charlie would want to taste him too.

He wasn’t disappointed. Once Charlie had finished spilling down his throat, he quickly pulled Nick to standing in front of him and pulled his underwear to his knees and took him deeply in his mouth. Nick barely had time to thread his fingers gently into Charlie’s hair before all the sensations over took him and he pushed his cock gently in and out of Charlie’s lips, whimpering, “Oh fuck Charlie, oh my god, oh Jesus I love you, fuck…” as he exploded into him. The orgasm had hit him so quickly and was so powerful, he nearly collapsed onto Charlie when it was over, but instead fell down next to him and wrapped around him tightly, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat and uneven breathing.

Nick had never experienced such a sudden orgasm that wracked his whole body and left him feeling almost transcendent. His connection and love for Charlie overwhelmed him and it was like he couldn’t get enough of him whenever they were together. Not just sexually, although that was a major factor, but emotionally as well. It was like they were magnets that couldn’t be held apart and were better together. 

Once they had relaxed, they kissed gently, tasting the other on their tongues still. Charlie sighed, “We still have to brush our teeth before we fall asleep,” sounding like it was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Or, we could just not…” Nick teased.

“Nick, I’m a dentist, I absolutely can not go to sleep without brushing my teeth. Even when I feel like death when I’m sick, I still brush.”

“Oh fine…” Nick grumbled and rolled away from Charlie to force himself to sit up.

They slowly made their way to the bathroom, took care of the necessary sleep preparations in turn and crawled back into bed together. Nick hadn’t felt this content as long as he could remember, Charlie made him feel safe and secure in ways no one else in his life ever had. He kissed him on the shoulder and murmured his love as he drifted into a deep, sated sleep.

Chapter Text

Charlie

The sun was going down earlier now; Charlie barely made it home before it was dark most nights and he had to wear a warmer sweatshirt as the weeks headed into fall. It was his favorite time of year. He loved the colors on the maple and oak trees scattered throughout the neighborhoods where he went on his runs, and at the large park downtown along the river. The vibrant orange, yellow and red leaves would soon slowly start to descend and swirl in the wind, the crisp air forcing them to fall. Charlie couldn’t wait to participate in the fall activities and celebrate the upcoming holidays with Nick. 

Since the night of his last show, they had spent nearly every night together if Nick wasn’t with the kids, and when he was with them, Charlie was often invited for dinner or to hang out on the weekend. He hoped the kids didn’t feel like he was intruding, he wanted them to like him as much as he was starting to like (love?) them. He found himself thinking about them throughout the day-wondering if Heidi would be interested in a new fantasy book he had seen on TikTok or if Matt had narrowed his college choices to a manageable number yet. He’d think about what Sean’s life in NYC was like and whether he went to a lot of Broadway shows and if Niles had managed to connect with the new guy he had a crush on. He tried to pay attention to the things they said and did, eager for any knowledge that would help him connect with them more.

One thing he had noticed which concerned him was Niles, and he was struggling with how to broach the topic with Nick. At first, Charlie had just been trying to support him as a young queer kid who was interested in the drums, so he’d taken to giving him short lessons on his own set and letting him come over whenever he wanted to play. This led to spending more time together than with the other kids and it gave Charlie the opportunity to see things that made him worry.

Many of Niles’ habits and patterns regarding food reminded him of himself in his turbulent teen years, and even though he knew he could just be seeing things because of his own past, he didn’t think so. He knew he should mention it to Nick, try to talk to him and see if he and Imogen shared any of his concerns, but he didn’t want to appear as if he was trying to parent their son. Or worse, make them feel like he had seen something they should have recognized themselves. He found he frequently drifted into his own thoughts about it during meals because Nick would ask him if he was alright whenever he would ponder the situation. Since he hadn’t decided how or when to mention it yet, he would brush Nick off and deflect by talking about something else, usually politics.

The election was an oft-repeated conversation between them and among their families and friends. It was unbelievable that a man who was a convicted criminal, a sexual predator, had incited a rebellion against the government, wanted to strip women of their rights, and whose entire platform was based on the hatred of people in marginalized communities, was running for president of the US, for the third fucking time. Nick and Charlie used more curse words in their political discussions than in the bedroom, so strong were their convictions that this man must be stopped. They wanted to believe in the goodness of their fellow Americans, that no one could, in their right mind, want him as president. 

And yet, they did. Charlie was completely baffled by the blind following, almost cult-like in its intensity, that characterized so many of Trump’s followers. Every day, he was inundated on social media with videos of Trump followers unable to think for themselves, believing everything he told them. It seemed that nothing could sway some people and that alone was terrifying. By the end of September, the frenzied hope Charlie felt about the election had fizzled substantially, even after Kamala obviously won the debate and Trump had made a fool of himself, it didn’t change people’s opinions. 

The vice presidential debate on October 1st didn’t do any favors for the Democrats either as Tim Walz, the VP candidate, struggled to answer some basic questions and went on to appear as if he and Vance had similar opinions on many topics. Vance, for his part, Charlie had to admit, looked pretty good on screen, his eyeliner making his blue eyes stand out and feel like they were piercing into you. He was fairly well spoken, much better than his running mate, but he also had extreme ideas about women and family, essentially wanting Americans to go back to the 50s when women stayed home and wore dresses all day. (How that man has a successful lawyer as his wife, I’ll never understand.) What was even more apparent in this debate was that Vance had literally no thoughts of his own, and was merely a puppet for Trump, he was likely the only one willing to run with Trump after the way it had ended last time.

As important as the election was for the country and the world, Charlie felt the most he could do at the moment, especially for his own mental health, was to focus on deepening his relationships with those he cared about and reach out to offer support for those around them in need. Which is how he ended up at Costco on a Friday morning buying snack food and drinks to donate for the first GSA meeting Nick and his new teacher friend Sahar were advising and was being led by Niles and a group of his friends. He selected multiple boxes of a variety of their signature muffins, knowing the large blueberry, chocolate and poppyseed treats were a favorite of young people. He also purchased a case of flavored sparkling water and some juice to go with the muffins. 

From what Charlie had ascertained, the first meeting was just to see what kind of group and involvement people wanted to have and then move forward with monthly meetings and the occasional special event. Charlie was thrilled they had been given permission to start the club, with very little pushback from the district. The area they lived in was fairly conservative and most of the school board had strong anti-LGBTQ policies and goals for the future of education but because students had a right to start clubs in their school as long as they had one teacher to advise them, there wasn’t much that could be done to stop them. Charlie was so proud of Nick for having taken this step to not only be out and proud of his sexuality, but to be willing to share that with his students, and support them in whatever situations they were in themselves.

He delivered the refreshments to the school front office for Nick to collect during his lunch hour and then had to wait anxiously all day for Nick to get home afterwards. He couldn’t wait to hear how it had gone and he tried to keep busy planning a fun weekend for them together. When Nick finally texted he was finished with the group, it was almost 5pm and Charlie felt so relieved to hear from him. He’d started to worry it hadn’t gone well or there had been protestors or something, which seemed like something silly to worry about because it was just a high school GSA, but there were always people wanting to cause drama and he didn’t want Nick to be caught in any. Fortunately, it had gone really well, hence Nick being so late wrapping up.

Nick [5:05] : ‘OMG Charlie! 😍 It went amazing! I can’t wait to tell you all about it!’

Charlie [5:06] : 🤗 ‘I’m so relieved! I’ve been getting a bit worried ngl’

Nick [5:08] : ‘Sorry! I didn’t mean to be so late and worry you! I’m pretty beat, though, how do you feel about dinner out tonight?’

Charlie felt his heart race for a moment and then gradually slow down again. He could do that. He was strong enough to handle last minute changes, especially when it meant he could support Nick and make things easier for him. 

Charlie [5:12] : ‘Yeah, sounds good. Do you have somewhere in mind?’

Nick [5:13] : ‘How about I come home and shower first and we can decide together? Maybe you can think about a couple of choices?’

Charlie’s pulse raced faster but this time, not because of the restaurant choices but because his mind immediately conjured up images of Nick in the shower. Suddenly he wasn’t hungry for dinner anymore, but something else entirely.

Charlie [5:15] : ‘Yes, please. Um, should I meet you at your apartment?’

Nick [5:16] : 👍’be there in 15 xx’

Charlie quickly grabbed his keys and headed over to Nick’s, choosing to walk since it was so close. He arrived breathless, he had been in such a hurry to see Nick, that he had beaten him there. Thankfully, they had exchanged keys to each other’s places (with Imogen’s permission for Charlie to have them, of course) so he let himself in and quickly stripped, leaving a trail of his clothes enticingly strewn along the path to the shower for Nick to see. Turning on the tap to warm it, he quickly brushed his teeth and climbed into the steaming water. 

He had just finished soaking his hair, his head under the showerhead, when he heard Nick slide open the glass door and groan loudly, presumably at the sight of Charlie naked in his shower. 

“Like what you see?” Charlie prodded, raising his hands up into his hair to run them through it and then down along his body, Nick’s eyes following his every move. Nick nodded, speechless, and rapidly started undressing to join Charlie in the shower.

Charlie turned away from him, placing his face directly in the stream, and reached for his shampoo he kept at Nick’s. Before he could even begin, he felt Nick come up flush behind him and wrap himself around Charlie, taking the shampoo from his hand and lathering it himself into Charlie’s curls. The sensation was so soothing Charlie couldn’t help but whine softly and allowed his hands to fall to his sides and slightly behind him to grasp Nick’s thighs. Nick washed his hair gently and then turned him back into the water to rinse, leaning over and placing soft kisses on Charlie’s shoulders.

Charlie stroked his hands up and down Nick’s thighs and gripped his ass before turning to return the favor to Nick, switching positions so it was Nick in the stream and Charlie washing his hair for him. Nick sighed heavily and leaned into him, “God Charlie, this feels so good.”

Charlie hummed his agreement, leaning into Nick from behind, peppering his back and shoulders with soft nips and kisses, while he stretched to grab the bar of soap from its holder.

“Nick, can I try something?” Charlie asked breathlessly.

“Charlie, you can do anything you want to me,” Nick whispered.

Charlie turned Nick around and kissed him deeply, his tongue seeking entrance immediately. They moaned into each other’s mouths as they sucked and nipped and licked with a desperation they rarely felt. He broke away from Nick’s lips to his earlobe, dragging it between his teeth and he smiled at Nick’s whimper before slowly turning Nick back around, kissing his body as he went. Now that he was behind him again, he lathered up his hands and coated his cock in the suds from the soap and gently slotted himself between Nick’s muscular thighs. Charlie added more soap to his hands, dropped the bar, and reached around to grasp Nick firmly in one hand, the other across his chest, holding him tightly against his body.

“Is this OK?” he murmured into Nick’s back.

“Charlie…please I need you to move now Charlie, it’s so good baby. God, I love you. I don’t know how you always know exactly what I need…”

At Nick’s words, Charlie started to move gently in and out between Nick’s legs, groaning at the incredible sensation it sent rippling through him. He timed the strokes of his hand with his thrusts, flicking his wrist at the tip like he knew Nick loved. He wanted to take his time but they both quickly became more urgent, Nick lifting up on his toes to increase the friction in Charlie’s hand and Charlie’s movements grew more erratic as he heard the noises Nick was making, the sounds he was bringing out of Nick. He knew neither of them would make it much longer so he tightened his grip on Nick and said in a raspy voice, “Nick, I love you…I want you to come, Nick.”

Nick cried out his name and exploded in his hand, spraying his cum all over the glass wall. Charlie worked him through it, telling him how much he loved him over and over, until Nick’s knees nearly buckled beneath him and he leaned heavily against the wall. Charlie gripped him at the waist with Nick supporting himself on his forearms and bucked into Nick’s cleft, coming almost immediately at the sight before him. 

“Oh god Nick,” Charlie shuddered as he finished and hugged Nick from behind, his head laying on Nick’s shoulder.

After a couple of minutes, Nick straightened and embraced Charlie, their naked and spent bodies holding each other up, before they turned more fully into the water to clean up.

Later, wrapped in warm towels, Charlie collected his clothing and re-dressed himself while Nick got out fresh casual clothes to go out to dinner. 

“Did you decide on somewhere to go?” Nick asked him. 

“It depends; were you wanting a -sit down and be served- kind of dinner, or just fast food and come home?” 

“I don’t know, it might be nice to be served, right? Like, we hardly ever do that. But I know it’s easier for you if we plan that in advance…” Nick sounded cautious, like he didn’t want to make the wrong choice.

“No, it’s OK Nick. I have a few places I can go without having to know ahead of time. I was thinking maybe Tomato Street? Pasta is always a safe food for me,” Charlie proposed as an idea.

“Yum, I love it there. Sounds good. I’ll put our names down for a table now so we won’t have to wait so long once we get there.”

“Good idea.”

They finished getting ready and made it to the restaurant, only having to wait a few minutes once they arrived. They held hands as they walked through the restaurant; Charlie couldn’t help noticing the looks they got from a few people but most just smiled at them as they passed. 

Once they each ordered and had a glass of wine to sip, Charlie asked Nick about the GSA meeting. Nick immediately gushed about all the students who had shown up (twenty-five!) and how there were so many different identities represented. He talked about how great Sahar was and how glad Nick was that she was teaching at the school with him. He thanked Charlie repeatedly for bringing the food and drinks, which of course, Charlie was thrilled to have done. Mostly, he raved about how proud he was of Niles for taking the step to lead and organize something like this, something they could be passionate about together. 

Charlie felt his chest tighten when Nick mentioned Niles, thinking maybe now would be a good time to bring up his suspicions, but then their meals arrived and it felt like the moment had passed. He knew he would need to address it soon, before it started to eat him alive as well, and potentially cause his own spiral. They enjoyed their meals, chatting easily as they ate, and Charlie took plenty of leftovers home with him. When they got home, instead of watching a movie like they often did, they decided to cuddle in bed early and read for a few hours to relax their minds. They talked a little bit off and on about the books they were reading but mostly they just enjoyed the peace and comfort of being together.

The next morning, Charlie had a whole day planned to surprise Nick. Charlie loved the fall festival at the various farms on the outskirts of town. One festival in particular was his favorite and he went every year in October. After Nick and Charlie got home from their run, they showered quickly and Charlie instructed Nick to dress warmly enough to be outside for most of the afternoon. It was about a 30-minute drive to the hillside north of town where there were lots of apple orchards, pumpkin patches, and various other fruit fields, the drive there almost picturesque with the rapidly changing leaves adorning the trees. 

Charlie parked his black Kia in the grass parking lot, far away from the entrance because there were so many people out today to enjoy the sunshine and participate in the fall festivities. Nick was positively bouncing on his feet in his excitement, proclaiming he hadn’t been here since his kids were little.

“Really? Why did you stop coming?” Charlie inquired.

“I don't know…I guess we were all just so busy trying to make it through every day, that special things like this seemed like too much effort,” Nick shrugged.

“Well, this is one of my favorite things to do in the fall!” Charlie proclaimed, giggling like a kid. “You have to come every year with me from now on, just so you know.”

Nick stopped and stared at Charlie who quickly realized what he had said and immediately tried to backtrack and release Nick from that expectation. 

“Oh my god! Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…” Charlie stammered, hanging his head in fear.

Nick seemed to snap out of his thoughts and reached over to pull Charlie tightly into his arms.

“Char, I love you…I want to plan to do things with you every year. Honestly, I want everything with you and most of the time, I can’t believe you would want that with me. Like, you're amazing and I’m just…I’m just me,” Nick shrugged.

Charlie leaned out of Nick's tight embrace and placed his hands on Nick's cheeks, pulling him in for a light kiss.

“You are everything Nick. There is no such thing as ‘just me’ when it comes to who you are and how much I love you.”

Nick sighed, nodding slightly and kissing Charlie again.

“Now, let’s go have fun like kids!” Charlie said, taking Nick’s hand to lead him to the entrance, weaving their way through the labyrinth of cars in the parking lot. 

Charlie paid for them at the gate and they meandered their way through the small outdoor petting zoo, smiling at the toddlers and preschool-aged kids who were so excited to feed a goat or pet a sheep. Nick fondly told Charlie stories of his kids at that age and how seeing the world of wonder through the eyes of a child was like nothing else. Charlie agreed, remembering the years he had brought Ryan here, his sister and Michael allowing him this special event with him. Come to think of it, it was probably why Charlie loved coming here every year to this day, even when Ryan had declared years ago he was too old for it. 

After the animals, they warmed up a bit in the little farm shop, browsing the shelves of homemade jams, pies and other traditionally-made foods. There were also a number of handcrafted items like quilts and kitchen textiles that they both enjoyed looking at, even if none of it was really either of their styles. Charlie did find one thing that reminded him of Nick that he bought surreptitiously for a Christmas present while Nick had stepped away to use the toilet.  They went back outside to where there was a small open-air grill, selling hamburgers and french fries, hot dogs and chips as well as kettle corn. It was surrounded by picnic tables full of people, some couples like them who were obviously on dates and others chasing children around. They both chose a burger, ordered a portion of fries to share and each had a hot coffee to warm up.

“Popcorn too, Nick?” Charlie teased. 

Nick laughed and rolled his eyes, “Nope I’ve learned my lesson…although damn, it smells good.”

“There’s another little stand, by the tiny museum of old farming equipment, that has homemade mini pumpkin donuts we can get later before we go to the pumpkin patch.”

Nick’s eyes lit up, “Are we getting pumpkins? Can we get some for the kids? They’d love to carve them!”

“Sure, babe, of course we can,” Charlie replied, grinning at Nick’s enthusiasm. “I like to get apples too, to make apple crisp and then applesauce later this week.”

Nick nodded happily, “I’m just going to text Im real quick and see if they want to carve them later, would that be OK?”

Charlie paused in thought, “Would she want me to stay home? I’d understand if she did, I don’t want to intrude on family stuff.”

“Charlie, no. Imogen really likes you and she knows they really like you too. I think…I mean, I think they consider you part of the family now…is that alright?” Nick looked unsure again.

Charlie beamed and nodded; he was thrilled if they wanted to include him for anything, but especially traditional stuff like carving pumpkins.

“Let’s get enough donuts for them too then, before we leave.”

They finished the last of their lunch, talking about how they might want to carve their pumpkins, before heading over to the entrance to the apple orchard and the neighboring pumpkin patch. The apples had been picked a couple of weeks ago but were stacked in crates along the rows, according to variety. Charlie had collected a wheelbarrow available to borrow for hauling the heavy fruit from the orchard. He quickly chose his two favorite varieties, getting a dozen Granny Smiths for baking, and a crate of Honeycrisp for eating and applesauce. 

Across the aisle from the apples were the pumpkin patches. Most of the vines had frozen in the first frost a week ago but the pumpkins all sat sedately scattered throughout the field, waiting to be selected to take home. Nick suggested they get a large one for them to share and place at Charlie’s apartment door, and then small ones for each of them for Nick’s house on the front porch for Halloween. Charlie agreed and made his way carefully through the vines, looking for uniquely shaped pumpkins, his favorite. He always chose ones that weren't the standard round, blemish free ones. He knew the “perfect” ones were what most people looked for but he loved to celebrate the individuality of the “strange” shapes, envisioning exactly how to carve them to bring out their character.

He was struggling to balance the three he had chosen and barely made it back to the wheelbarrow without dropping them, laughing as he lost his grip at the last second. Nick teased him for the weird ones he’d selected; Nick, of course, had picked three nearly perfectly round ones. They had a minor disagreement about the aesthetic choice of the larger shared one for Charlie’s apartment, both of them really wanting a particular pumpkin in order to carve a specific design. They eventually both gave up their individual first choices and ended up choosing one together, which took way longer than it should have. It was apparent that even though they were similar in many ways, they both still had their own opinions and sometimes those opinions clashed, even over something silly like pumpkins. Charlie was proud of them though, for navigating a compromise and moving on from it.

Charlie pushed the wheelbarrow back from the fields and towards the little donut stand. Nick ordered two dozen of the mini pumpkin and two dozen of the plain cinnamon and sugar ones, claiming his kids would demolish them in minutes, protesting loudly when Charlie tried to pay for them. Charlie foresaw the money discussion coming up more now that their lives were further intermingling and knew it was something they would need to address before it caused a problem. Wanting to set a good precedent for that, he offered a solution.

“OK Nick, one of us can pay for the donuts, the other the pumpkins and apples. How does that sound?”

Nick quietly contemplated and then nodded, seemingly deciding it was a fair offer. 

“Why don’t I buy the pumpkins and apples, since the pumpkins are mostly going to decorate my house? And you bringing donuts for the family is a special treat for them so you can pay for the donuts?”

Charlie agreed and got out his wallet, tapped his card to pay for the donuts and took them in hand to carry to the car. Nick hefted the arms of the wheelbarrow up and pushed it towards the weigh station at the main gate.

“Jesus, Charlie. This is heavy! How did you manage to push it all the way over here?”

Charlie gasped. “Nicholas, are you implying I’m small and weak?”

“What?!?! No!!!” Nick sputtered as he tried to defend himself. 

Charlie giggled at his efforts to pretend he hadn’t just inferred that Charlie was incapable of physical strength. Nick was so easy to fluster. 

Nick paid for the pumpkins and apples and Charlie went to get the car and drive it over to the entrance and load the heavy food in it, so they didn’t have to try and navigate the wheelbarrow through the parking lot. Once he made his way to Nick and they’d loaded their haul into the trunk and returned the wheelbarrow, they began the drive back home, the sun sadly starting to set already. Nick texted Imogen from the passenger seat that they were on the way and that the kids should collect the carving supplies.

Charlie was still a little nervous that Imogen might not want him around, and the kids might feel like it wasn’t his place to be there, his brain overthinking the situation the whole way to Nick’s house. He worried they might feel like he was trying to take their mom’s place in some way and so he wanted to be as careful as he could, to avoid overstepping or involving himself where he wasn’t invited. And even though he knew he was, in fact, invited this time, he still couldn’t help the panic trying to settle in. Nick reached over and laid a hand on his thigh, much higher than he had the previous time they had been in the car like this together, rubbing his thumb in calming circles.

“I can hear you spiralling from over here Charlie. I promise, they all want you to be there. Trust me, my kids are honest enough to say if they didn’t. And Imogen doesn’t take any shit so if she was uncomfortable, she would have said. Darling, we all want you there,” Nick said in a reassuring tone.

Charlie nodded hesitantly, “OK, I’m trying. Just, this is the first time we’ll have all hung out with Imogen there too, I’m not really sure how to act I guess.”

“Just be yourself. It’ll be OK.”

“I’ll try,” Charlie promised, unconvinced of that capability. 

It was completely dark by the time they got to Nick and Imogen’s shared house, even though it was barely 5pm. They loaded their arms with as many of the pumpkins as they could and climbed the front steps, Nick leading the way into the house, calling out to Matt to get the rest of the pumpkins from Charlie’s trunk. The house smelled delicious, like sauteed garlic and parmesan. Charlie also noticed there were fall inspired decorations on the mantel over the fireplace now, and a few things on the shelf in the dining area. The dining table was covered with a plastic Halloween themed table cloth, white with black skulls and jack-o-lanterns scattered across it. Nick had made his way with the pumpkins to the table so Charlie followed and deposited them there. 

Loud barks broke through the peace of the house as Daisy recognized Nick was home and Charlie was with him. They both bent to give her pets and then removed their coats and shoes by the door, leaving it open for Matt to come back in with the remaining gourds. After Nick called out again, Niles and Heidi peeked out of their rooms and bounded downstairs to hug their dad and gave Charlie fist bumps in greeting. Imogen came up from the basement a minute later, giving them both hugs before going to the stove to stir whatever heavenly-smelling thing she was cooking. 

“I’ve made homemade alfredo to eat after we carve, if that's alright with everyone?” she asked, looking pointedly at Niles, and then at Charlie. (So she does notice…) Charlie nodded with a smile, thanking her for asking.

“It's one of my safe foods so that would be great, thanks Imogen,” Charlie responded, deliberately using language he wished he had heard as a young person struggling to express his struggles with eating. 

Niles nodded too, more hesitantly than Charlie had, and asked, “Maybe we can have some of the green beans from the garden with it? I like those.”

Imogen inclined her head in acknowledgement, “That's a good suggestion, I’ll make them.”

They gathered around the table then, and began to carve the pumpkins, the conversation swirling around them, meandering from one topic to another easily. Once everyone had all the innards scraped out, they began to draw their designs on their pumpkins, the tone of discussion becoming more heated and excited as they started carving. After an hour of concentrated effort, they had a fun reveal round, each person showcasing their art proudly. Charlie had carved leaves in various shapes and sizes in the outer skin so that it would reflect through the thin inner skin when it had a candle in it on Halloween. Nick and Matt had both done a Marvel theme, Heidi had carved stars and a moon on hers. Imogen’s was the one that touched Charlie the most though. She’d carved a wide, toothy smile, with a few select teeth missing, and told them it was in honor of their new dentist, winking at Charlie, causing them all to laugh, and him to blush in pleasure that she had done that for him.

They carried their pumpkins to the front porch, setting one down on each step, everyone insisting Charlie’s one should be on the step right after Nick’s, because that was his place in the family. He struggled not to cry, feeling so accepted after the relatively short time he had been with Nick, who wrapped him in a tight hug and kissed him lightly before they all made their way inside for dinner.

The food was delicious; Charlie was impressed with his ability to eat much after the big lunch earlier and the emotions he felt swirling in his gut still. He noticed Niles also eating slowly but made sure he wasn’t staring. Nick and Imogen exchanged glances a few times, furtively looking at Niles before and after. (They both know…) It was such a relief to Charlie because it meant he wouldn’t have to bring up something they didn’t already have an idea about, and also it showed they paid attention and cared, unlike Charlie’s own experience had been. 

After everyone had eaten their fill, Nick and Charlie quickly did the dishes for Imogen and then said goodbye, heading back to Charlie’s apartment. Charlie contemplated as they talked over the day, whether he should bring up the Niles thing yet but something made him hold off again. Now that he knew they were aware, he needed to think of what he would say, what would be helpful, maybe even talk to Geoff about it first. 

Instead, they talked of the fun they’d had and started making plans for Halloween while they got ready for bed and climbed in together, wrapping their arms around each other and entangling their legs. Their goodnight kisses soon turned into goodnight blowjobs, their whispered endearments turning into cries of release as they declared their love for each other in both word and action.

Chapter Text

Nick

The school year was off to a great start for Nick so far. His classes were engaging, most of his students were passing, with the exception of a few he just couldn’t convince to care enough to participate, and his involvement with the GSA was highly rewarding. Before this year, the only real extra curricular activities he had participated in, outside of coaching baseball, was attending some of the key sports events against their rival school, St. John’s, and the orchestra concerts when Sean had been performing. He was really enjoying investing in another part of the teens’ wellness by creating a safe space for queer students and their ally friends to come together for support and fun. He had met and gotten to know a couple of the attendees over the past couple of weeks as they had dropped in to chat in the break times and before and after hours, obviously grateful for the safe space to congregate. These young people and their willingness to be open and honest about themselves, in the face of adversity, gave Nick a lot of hope for the future and pride for their present.

The group had planned a small Halloween party as their first event and Nick was so excited about it because Halloween was one of his favorite holidays. He came to learn that it was a lot of queer people’s favorite holiday. Many of the group had contributed ideas regarding food, drink, games they could play and a costume contest to participate in. Charlie, in his typical generosity, wanted to sponsor the event including the food and beverages as well as some prizes for the games and costume contest, so once Niles had secured permission to use Nick’s classroom for the party (it was the perfect size for the expected number of students), Nick had sent Charlie a list of snacks to buy and the ideas the students had for the prizes. 

Since Halloween was on a Thursday, they decided to have the party after school on the Friday before it, starting about 15 minutes after class was over so they could all get into their costumes. Nick was dressed as Captain America and Sahar as a vampire, and the students arrived in a variety of cheerful costumes to scary ones, all really getting into the spirit. There were shockingly almost fifty kids who attended, which impressed the teachers and intimidated those organizing the club. They played a few get-to-know-you games, ate a lot of snacks and finally had the costume contest. The categories ranged from best makeup to scariest to best version of the original character to favorite overall. Most of the prizes were small gift baskets Charlie had put together that had candy, chips, popcorn and gift cards for coffee shops or the movie theater. Despite not having kids of his own, Charlie proved he knew how to fit in with teenagers.

The party ended after an hour and a half with a short dance party that had the students gripping their stomachs and complaining they had eaten too much to jump around afterwards. The GSA leaders and a few volunteers hung around to help clean up the room to be ready for class again on Monday and Nick felt, overall, that the party had been a hit. No one got hurt or sick, which was basically the standard of success for any high school event. He’d take it as a win.

When Nick got home, he took a selfie of himself in his costume, and sent it to Charlie, since he was planning on wearing a different costume when they went to Pink Pony the following week for their Halloween celebration, and he didn’t really dress up when he gave out candy on the actual date. Charlie responded with a giggling face emoji, followed by a heart and Nick assumed that was the best he would get out of Charlie when he was wearing a Marvel costume.

Nick [5:12] : ‘Charlie, I can’t believe that is all you have to say about me dressed as Captain fucking America! I mean, he saves the world! And this costume is tight as fuck on my ass btw, isn’t that worth a little more reaction?’

Charlie [5:15] : ‘Nick, your Marvel agenda is never gonna work on me you know. I wouldn’t be caught dead dressed as anything from that franchise.’

Nick [5:16] : ‘I’m hurt Char, truly. Maybe you could go as Spiderman? You certainly have the perfect figure to wear that costume.’

Charlie [5:18] : ‘Nope, never gonna happen.’

Nick [5:19] : ‘Not even if I dressed up as Mary Jane, we could do the upside down kiss?’

Charlie [5:25] : ‘…’

Charlie [5:27] : ‘OK, maybe I could be persuaded’

Charlie [5:28] : ‘That visual sent my brain offline for a minute’ 😂

Nick [5:30] : 😊

Nick laughed to himself and stripped out of the costume to pack it away for another year. He was home with the kids for the week now and he was looking forward to spending some time with them over the weekend, as well as finishing up all the winterizing in the garden he had neglected so far. Thankfully it hadn’t snowed yet so he still had time. Charlie was planning on hanging out with his sister and her family that night and Nick wanted to take advantage of some one-on-one time with his kids. Not that he minded at all when Charlie was there with them, but it was always good to have the specific time to keep their other relationships strong. 

After dinner, they went their separate ways into their respective rooms while Nick did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. He sat and read for a while and then called them together for a family movie night. For some reason, Nick was in the mood for Spiderman…which the kids loved so he didn’t have to explain his reasons to them and have them make fun of him for the rest of his life. They ended up watching the first and second ones and then headed to bed. Nick sent a couple of loving goodnight messages to Charlie and then dropped off to sleep.

The rest of the weekend and the beginning of the week, Nick didn’t see Charlie very much. They both went to Front Runners for the last planned run of the season before it got too cold, and arranged to meet some of their friends from the group at Pink’s Halloween party on Friday night, which they’d already planned on attending. Nick spent a lot of the weekend cleaning up the garden and because Charlie was battling a mild cold at the time, he was off the hook from helping. The school week was busy, the students were antsy with expectation about the holiday, and Nick was desperate to stay ahead of things at home so they could have fun Halloween night. Charlie’s office was getting really busy and since he was a little under the weather, he opted to just go straight home each night and try to get better without exposing Nick and his family. They texted a lot during the four days they were apart, missing each other more than they expected, but knew it was for the best.

Halloween rolled around wet and raining, making Nick worried all his holiday traditions would be foiled by the weather. But by midday, the rain had stopped and the sun had come out and dried a lot of the rain from the ground. It was still cool but at least it wouldn’t be wet. After school, Nick hurriedly made potato soup and fresh bread - the traditional meal he had made on Halloween since Sean was born. It was always nice to go trick-or-treating and come home to hot soup and warm bread from the oven. After the food was prepared, he changed into his flannel lined jeans and a thick grey Carhartt sweatshirt, donned his extra warm socks and boots, and prepared the fire pit at the end of the driveway for his annual campfire on Halloween. Once it was ready to light, he made sure all the pumpkins had fresh candles in them, filled the candy bowl, and stationed a set of chairs with blankets and a small table with a campstove by the fire pit. He loved to serve hot chocolate and cider to the parents who were escorting their kids around the neighborhood, an idea he had stolen from a previous neighbor.

Charlie got there around 5pm, lugging with him little gift bags that he informed Nick had travel toothbrushes, mini toothpastes and travel-sized floss in them to give away alongside the candy. He moaned about such a busy day at the office and said he was really looking forward to just relaxing around the fire for a few hours. He was feeling much better but still a little drained after being mildly sick. Nick gave him a lingering kiss, whispering “I missed you,” against Charlie’s lips, feeling like his world was more complete when Charlie was around. They wrapped each other in a long hug, sharing warmth, reconnecting after a few days apart. When Charlie pulled away and sank into his own chair, hands wrapped around his travel mug filled with hot chocolate and a blanket tightly around his shoulders, Nick started the fire to keep them warm and provide a festive ambiance.

“So, you just couldn’t help your dentist side coming through huh? Had to give away toothbrushes instead of candy?” Nick couldn’t help it, he loved teasing Charlie. 
“Babe, these kids are coming home with so much candy, they didn’t need me to bring more! And oral health is really important!” Charlie said indignantly.

“I know, I know. I’m just teasing you. I actually think it’s kind of sweet, it's nice for them to get something besides just candy.”

“And if my office’s information happens to be in the little bags…” Charlie raised his hands in mock confusion.

“You’d better warn Tori then, that you’re subjecting her to an influx of child patients, she may reconsider continuing to work for you.”

Charlie looked momentarily nervous at the thought but then shrugged, “I can just have Melissa or Rachel handle some of them, it’ll be fine.”

They chuckled before taking long sips of their hot chocolate. For the first half hour or so, there weren’t many kids coming around yet so they just talked and enjoyed each other’s company, catching up on anything they had forgotten about over the week. Eventually, Nick’s kids came to hang out with them for a while before they went trick-or-treating themselves, still as keen about it as ever, despite their ages. Nick didn’t care; he’d give out candy to teens whenever they came because it meant they weren’t out drinking and driving, or doing any number of stupid things teens sometimes did. More neighbors started coming around too, the parents gladly accepting a hot beverage and staying to chat with Nick and meet Charlie while their kids ran around to the houses within sight. If anyone seemed bothered or surprised by the fact that Nick was dating someone new and that person was a man, no one said anything or responded rudely. Most of their acquaintances knew he and Imogen’s divorce had been amicable and were respectful not to pry. In light of this, Nick was very grateful everyone seemed to receive Charlie kindly.

Once the trick-or-treaters seemed to be slowing down, Nick put the fire out and they brought the chairs and drink stuff inside.  There was still the occasional ring of the doorbell but by that time of night, most were at home sorting through their candy haul, Nick’s kids included. Nick and Charlie tried to steal their favorites from them, but they protested loudly before finally offering one each to them as dessert for the night. 

After the kids finished organizing their candy, they ate the homemade soup and bread together, talking and laughing about some of the more extreme costumes they had seen that night. Nick was pleased to see Niles eating more than he sometimes did, knowing the soup was one of his favorites. Days like today made him wonder if they were needlessly worried about him, and he knew that talking to Charlie about it might shed some light on the subject. He was anxious though, that a conversation about another queer teen boy with food issues might be triggering for Charlie so he kept his thoughts to himself.

By this point, Nick was feeling like he was dead on his feet. Having taught all day and then hurrying home to get everything ready for the evening, he felt like he could barely keep his eyes open anymore and, by the looks of it, Charlie felt the same. Nick asked the kids to quickly help clean up the food and dishes so they could go to bed faster. Working together, they accomplished it in only a few minutes and soon, he and Charlie were brushing their teeth together before bed. This would be the first time Charlie had stayed the night at the house, and even though the kids had seen them share a room at Sarah’s and a tent while camping, and obviously knew they stayed the night together often when he wasn’t at home, this was a new step for them and it felt monumental for Nick. They were both so tired so he didn’t expect them to do anything, but still, his boyfriend was sleeping over at his house with his kids there. He was so happy about it, he couldn’t help smiling at Charlie in the mirror, around their toothbrushes.

Charlie spat out his toothpaste and looked at Nick with a question in his eyes, “What are you smiling at me like that for?”

“Just, this is the first time you’ve stayed here , it feels important somehow. And I’m so fucking happy about it,” Nick replied after he had spit as well.

“Sap,” Charlie teased, nudging Nick with his hip.

Nick shrugged, “Only for you, babe.”

While Charlie took his turn using the toilet, Nick went to say goodnight to the kids, checking in on them and making sure one last time that everyone was OK with Charlie staying the night. They assured him it was fine, and even requested Charlie to come and say goodnight as well, which melted Nick’s heart. When Charlie climbed into bed with him after he had made the same rounds with them, Nick held him close, spooning him from behind, whispering love into Charlie’s ear. Charlie turned his head towards him and they kissed languidly for a few minutes before they burrowed close to each other under the comforter and fell immediately into a deep sleep.

When Nick’s alarm went off the next morning, he groaned and quickly shut it off so it wouldn’t wake Charlie. Leaning over, he kissed Charlie gently on the cheek, then the lips, before dragging himself out of bed to get ready for work. It wasn’t fair that he had to work five days a week, plus prep in his off time while Charlie worked four days a week and made twice as much as him. But, they both loved what they did so who made more money wasn’t really that important although it was a change for Nick from his relationship with Imogen where he had been the primary earner between them. He knew they’d need to have more conversations about money in the future, when he hoped they would eventually talk about moving in together somehow.

After his shower, he woke Niles and made sure the others were on track to leave on time, reminding them to be quiet since Charlie was still sleeping. When he got to work, he sent Sean a quick text, just letting him know he was thinking of him, and chatted with Sahar a bit as they made their way to the staff room for their weekly meeting before school started. It was so nice to have another queer colleague and friend that he could share with, in addition to Tara and Darcy. He mentioned the Halloween party at Pink the next night and she said her and her girlfriend might come at some point. 

The rest of the day passed quickly and he texted Charlie on the way home, eager to get back to him.

Nick [3:00] : ‘Done with work, yay! Have a few things to take care of at the house before I’m gone for the week and then I’ll be over.’

At this point, Nick practically lived at Charlie’s on his week not at the house, he hadn’t even been to their shared apartment other than to grab clothes, in nearly a month.

Charlie [3:05] : ‘OK, I’m at my apartment, went grocery shopping earlier so we can eat here tonight. Also, I changed the sheets on your bed, so you don’t have to before Imogen comes.’

Nick smiled; Charlie was so thoughtful, he didn’t know how he deserved him.

Nick [3:20] : ‘Home now. Thanks so much for doing that! Gets me to you sooner!’

Charlie [3:22] : ‘No problem, that was the point btw.’

He packed up his dirty clothes to take so he could wash them and went to empty the dishwasher but found Charlie had done that as well. So he decided to vacuum so Im wouldn’t have to this weekend. When she arrived early, he hugged the kids goodbye and hurried to Charlie’s. They spent the evening cooking rice and peanut chicken together before cuddling to watch a movie and went to bed early, exhausted after the week and late night yesterday. 

Saturday they spent just relaxing around Charlie’s apartment. Nick caught up on some grading and did prep work for his classes this week. Thankfully, he’d been teaching the same subject for years now so there wasn’t a lot of adjustment he had to make to previous years’ lesson plans. By dinner time, they were ready to get out of the apartment so they went out for a quick dinner before coming home to change into their costumes. The party started at 8PM so they weren’t in a huge rush.

Nick finished buckling his belt on his tight jeans after tucking a black and white flannel shirt into the waistband, secured a red handkerchief around his neck and picked up his straw hat before squatting a few times to make the pants more comfortable in the butt area. He went to look at himself in the bathroom mirror and stopped short at the sight of Charlie in there, carefully drawing his eyeliner on, his curls a bit wild, dressed up as a pirate. (A pirate, for fucks sake!) Nick had a thing for pirates. His bisexual awakening had been none other than Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean ;  when the movie came out years later, all of his drunken college experiences had finally made sense to him, even if it ended up being another 10 years before he had fully accepted the bisexual label. Charlie dressed up as a pirate tonight was going to be the death of him.

He wrapped his arms tightly around Charlie and ground into him from behind.

“Oh my god Charlie, that outfit is…you look so hot.,” he murmured into Charlie’s back.

“Nick…” Charlie scoffed, “we’re meant to be leaving, you can’t do that right now!”

Nick huffed and backed away but kept eye contact in the mirror. “Fine but I’m doing a lot more than that when we get home!”

“I hope that's a promise, Nick,” Charlie said, winking at him. 

“Fuck me…” Nick whined.

“Maybe later,” Charlie smiled, turning back to his eyeliner.

Nick groaned and pushed on his eager erection and had to leave the room to avoid any further distraction. (Damn, these jeans were definitely feeling a bit tight now!)

Nick managed to keep his hands to himself in the Uber on the drive downtown, reminding himself repeatedly that once he had Charlie tipsy and on the dance floor, he could touch him and grind into him as much as he wanted. He paid a generous tip to the driver and they climbed out and joined the line waiting to get in. It moved quickly, Charlie paying the cover for them at the door, and soon they were surrounded by queers of all ages and genders, in costumes of all types. The air was thick with the fog and flashing lights especially set up for Halloween night, the dance floor packed and overflowing into the surrounding seating areas. Nick grabbed Charlie’s hand, and skirted along the edges of the room towards the bar, pulling him carefully behind him. When they made it to the bar, Charlie leaned over to the bartender he knew from when he performed, and ordered their drinks. 

“Hey Charlie, some guy was asking after you earlier…said your dad mentioned you drum here and he wondered if I’d seen you tonight,” the guy told Charlie when he handed them their drinks.

Nick leaned in now, curious who this guy was who was looking for his boyfriend.

“Oh yeah, my dad tried to set me up with him when he first moved here…until I told him I didn’t want to meet anyone like that. Plus, I’d just met Nick that week,” Charlie said, inclining his head in Nick’s direction. 

“So, should I tell him you’re here if he comes up again, or just not say anything at all?”

Charlie shrugged, “I told my dad I was willing to meet him as friends and introduce him to some people; I guess he doesn’t really know any of the local gays… but that was months ago now, so I’d assumed he found his own way and my dad was just meddling where he wasn’t wanted.”

The bartender nodded. “Well, if I see him, I’ll point you out. Let him say hi. If not, no big deal.”

“Thanks Nate, that’s nice of you,” Charlie said, picking up their drinks and turning towards Nick. They made their way to one of the standing tables along the wall to throw back their drinks before dancing. Nick still felt a little weird about the whole thing, since he’d never heard about the guy before, and asked Charlie about it while they sipped their drinks.

Charlie responded dismissively, saying he hadn’t ever met the guy but his dad had tried to set him up with him the week he and Nick met. He’d put his dad off, telling him he could let the guy know about Pink and Front Runners, but since he’d never seen him before, just assumed he wasn’t interested in those kinds of things. Charlie said he had honestly not even thought of him again since that day, because he’d been too busy falling in love with Nick. Nick blushed, feeling silly for being worried about it, and decided to let it go, feeling secure in Charlie’s love for him. 

They’d finished their drinks so they made their way to the dance floor and proceeded to spend the next two hours dancing together, hands all over each other, bodies grinding and twisting together, with only short breaks for second and third drinks as the night went on. They had danced with some of their running friends for a while but somehow ended up alone again. Eventually Nick had to excuse himself to pee, Charlie nodded and indicated he’d get them another round and meet him back at the high tables.  

After Nick braved the long line at the toilets, quickly washing his hands and vacating the space for the next person, he made his way back to the crowded dance floor, eyes searching the tables around the periphery when he didn’t find Charlie at the table they’d been at before. He saw Sahar and another woman he assumed was her girlfriend, dancing near where he and Charlie had been before, and raised his hand in greeting to her. Finally, he spotted Charlie on the opposite side of the room, talking to a younger, very attractive blond guy who was leaning in close to Charlie, whispering in his ear and Charlie was smiling at him. Nick felt a twinge of discomfort that bordered on jealousy. He trusted Charlie but this man was hot and was obviously showing interest in his boyfriend. Nick started making his way over, weaving through the crowds, never taking his eyes off Charlie and the guy hitting on him. They continued to talk while Charlie drank his rum and Coke; smiling at some unknown thing and laughing. Nick felt that twinge again, stronger this time. He didn’t like this, he realized. It never bothered him when Charlie laughed or smiled at their friends in the same manner, but here, among other gay men who would obviously find Charlie attractive…Nick felt like his insides were on a slow boil. He needed to get to Charlie quicker.

Not usually one to use his height or strength to his advantage, he put aside his normal politeness and began shoving through the heaving mass of bodies, desperate now to end this conversation between them that was making him feel so possessive and borderline angry. He knew, logically, it wasn’t necessary and Charlie could take care of himself if he needed to, but his love for his boyfriend and the fear of someone taking him from him, was slowly blinding him from rational thought. 

Closer now, he saw the man put his hand on Charlie’s back, causing Charlie to startle and pull away, clearly shaking his head and Nick saw the word “boyfriend” leave his lips as he put distance between the two. Nick paused, reminding himself that Charlie was a grown man and he should let him put a stop to this on his own, that it wasn’t Nick’s job to rescue or protect Charlie unless he needed it, it was his role to love him. He watched as the other man nodded and gave Charlie a small smile, picking up his drink as he did so, and turned away into the throng. Just then, Charlie’s eyes met Nick’s as he was looking over the crowd and broke into a brilliant smile. Nick smiled back, took a deep cleansing breath and made his way over to his boyfriend, kissing him thoroughly when he reached the table.

“What was that for?” Charlie asked heavily.

“I just love you…” he started, picking up his drink from the table to gulp it down quickly, still trying to calm the illogical feelings surging through him, “Who was that guy?”

“Who? Oh, the one who just left?” Nick nodded. 

“That was Noah, the guy my dad tried to set me up with before we got together. He was at the bar when I ordered our drinks and Nate introduced us. We were just chatting while I waited for you,” Charlie said with a shrug.

“It didn’t look like he was interested in just chatting with you, Charlie,” Nick mumbled, trying not to let his jealousy show on his face or in his tone.

Charlie waved his hand dismissively. “I’m used to it Nick, guys hit on me here all the time and I never do anything about it. Plus, I’m with you now and I love you so I have no interest in anyone else.”

Nick nodded slowly, his chin barely leaving his chest, unable to meet Charlie’s eyes.

“Wait, Nick, are you upset about this? Are you jealous or something?” Charlie asked incredulously. “Because you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of or to worry about.”

Nick nodded minutely again. 

“Hey,” Charlie said softly, stepping into his space, using his forefinger to raise Nick’s chin to force him to look in his eyes. “Baby, I love you. You are the only one I care about in this room and you’re the only one I’m ever going to care about again. OK? I promise, I am yours and yours only.”

Nick sniffed, feeling emotional now that he realized how ridiculous he had been to even question whether Charlie loved him or would be tempted by someone other than him. He had let his insecurities from the past get the best of him; even though these were totally different circumstances to what happened with Imogen, he still struggled with the fear of not being enough for Charlie, like he felt he hadn’t been enough for her. He drew in a shaky breath and looked at Charlie, trying to convey his thoughts without words. Charlie seemed to understand what he needed and pulled him in for a tight hug, arms around his waist, and then kissed him tenderly but thoroughly. 

“I love you,” Charlie whispered in Nick’s ear, his breath tickling him.

Nick sighed, “I love you too. Sorry I’m such a disaster.”

“Baby, you’re not a disaster. You’re just you and have stuff that triggers you. I get it, stuff triggers me sometimes too. Want to get out of here now?” He seemed to sense Nick was no longer in a partying mood.

Nick agreed, pulling out his phone to request a car. Once the app informed him there would be one in 5 minutes, he grabbed Charlie’s hand and they pushed through the people dancing towards the door, bursting through to the fresh air. He pulled Charlie into his chest and buried his face in Charlie’s neck, breathing deeply in and out. 

“Nick!” Charlie giggled as his breath tickled his pulse point. “What are you doing?”

“Recharging…I’m so sorry for how I acted back there.”

“Darling, you didn’t do anything wrong…” Charlie tried to reassure him.

Nick sighed, “But I almost did. I was mad at that guy and had to forcibly restrain myself from not coming over and making him leave you alone. It took everything in me to remember that you could handle it yourself.”

“But Nick, you did realize it and you stopped. That’s the most important thing. And yeah, I can handle myself, I have for years before I met you.”

“I know that, I do. I just, I love you so much Charlie and sometimes, I can’t believe that you could love me as much as I love you and … I guess it made me irrational tonight,” Nick admitted softly. 

Charlie nodded his understanding. “I feel the same way though Nick. I think we both just need to trust each other, that we both love each other as strongly as the other does. OK?”

At that moment, the car pulled up and they stepped apart, grasping hands as they slid into the backseat together. Nick laid his head on Charlie’s shoulder and kissed his cheek.
“OK.”

They rode home in silence, Nick drawing strength from Charlie, knowing there were so many emotions swirling through him right now that he couldn’t quite express. He knew this was outside of his normal behavior and he was embarrassed by it, even though Charlie had been nothing but supportive. He felt so much anxiety churning within him, that he had revealed his insecurity and Charlie would reject him despite what he had promised. The anxiety went deeper than that though, deeper than his own struggles. It was all around him this week - the fear for his community, the man he loved, his sons and everyone like them that was marginalized in one way or another. He tried to take a cleansing breath, tried to be hopeful for the future but came up empty.

When they got home, Charlie led him by the hand into his apartment, pulling him straight to the bathroom where he turned the shower faucet on to warm up before turning to Nick. Nick looked into Charlie’s blue eyes and  felt his heart rate return to normal. A sensation that the world had realigned again filled him. He pulled Charlie into his space and kissed him like he was the air that Nick needed to live, because in that moment, he was. He hurriedly stripped Charlie’s clothes from his body and then his own, pushing him into the shower urgently. 

“Nick, I’m going to show you how much I love you. I want you to know that you’re my person and nothing is going to change that.”

Nick held back a sob before leaning into Charlie and moving against him, their bodies pressed tightly together. As they rinsed off the sweat of the night, they poured their love out for each other, using their mouths and hands to express the depth of their emotion.

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie woke up Tuesday, November 5th, 2024 with a pit in his stomach that tightened all the way up to his throat. The nerves he felt about the election had been building over the course of the past months, all culminating to this one day in history. Since Saturday night at Pink, when Nick had gotten jealous and insecure about Charlie’s love, Charlie could see and feel how tightly wound Nick was and it only increased his own anxiety about the results today. It had broken Charlie’s heart when Nick had doubted him, even though he knew deep down that it wasn’t because of anything Charlie had done, but because of Nick's own fears of rejection from his past. That feeling, combined with the fear regarding the election, had caused something in Nick to snap and Charlie was trying so hard to help mend him, while desperately trying to hold himself together in light of the world’s uncertain future.

Charlie reached over to the other side of his bed, to wrap his arm across Nick and lay his head on Nick’s chest, breathed in deeply his scent and hoped it would calm his racing heart. He felt Nick sigh underneath him and kiss him gently on the top of his head, his hand stroking Charlie’s arm as they both tried to draw strength from the other. Charlie closed his eyes again and tightened his grip around Nick, delaying the inevitable need to get out of bed for work.

“Why is America stupid and has an election on a workday? It should be on a weekend or holiday like other countries,” Charlie muttered, “I don’t know how I’m meant to focus at work today.”

Nick grunted, “Because Republicans want to suppress the vote of the average American worker so they don’t lose their power… At least you don’t have to try and teach 120 high school students who are too self-involved to realize the importance of today.”

“True…I’m grateful everyone at my office feels the same as me, so we can help each other make it to the end of the day. Although, I’m not sure how I’ll handle it if any of my patients say anything in support of Trump, I don’t know how I could hold my tongue.”

Nick hummed, “I don’t think you should have to hold your tongue, Charlie. It’s your business, if your patients have a problem with your point of view, fuck ‘em.”

Charlie laughed, and wished he could just say what he thought all the time, but unfortunately that wouldn’t bode well for him or for his business. Most of his patients knew he was gay, he had a little pride flag window-cling on the front door, so he felt confident being himself at work, but still…that didn’t make it easy all the time.

He pushed himself off of Nick and sat up, reaching for his phone, which, of course, was full of notifications about polling places across the country and reminders to vote. Thankfully, in Washington State, the vote was 100% by mail, so he had dropped off his ballot at the polling box over a week ago. The system probably wasn’t perfect, but at least it meant everyone who was registered to vote was able to, rather than having work or transportation difficulties block the ability to participate. He set his phone back on the side table, knowing he couldn’t do anything by worrying, so he forced himself to get going on his day. 

He started a pot of coffee for the two of them as he heard Nick get in the shower. Charlie showered daily after work due to the aerosols of saliva and blood he was covered in by the end of every day. He went into the bathroom though and attempted to tame his curls, put on deodorant and went to dress in his workout clothes, collecting a new set of scrubs to pack in his backpack to change into at the office. He heard the coffee pot beep when it finished and went to pour them both a cup, bringing Nick’s to the bathroom for him to sip while he got ready, shaving his face and putting hair product in. They smiled at each other in the mirror, neither needing words to express the strain they were feeling as the day loomed ahead of them. 

Charlie made his oatmeal and fried an egg for Nick to have on his bagel, a banana on the side for both of them. This routine felt so lovely and domestic, Charlie found himself wanting to broach the topic with Nick soon, of him officially living here with Charlie on his off-weeks from the kids. But that was a conversation he wanted to have on a happier day, not on a day that made him feel like he was moments away from throwing up or having a panic attack. He sat down to start eating, softly calling out to Nick that his breakfast was ready for him, and stared at his oatmeal. It felt like a mountain he couldn’t climb today, his anxiety raging in him, locking his throat shut.

Nick came into the kitchen, topped off his coffee and sat down next to Charlie, glancing at his untouched oatmeal. They reached their hands out to each other and leaned in for a little peck.
“You can do it baby, I know you can,” Nick whispered.

Charlie nodded and picked up his spoon. One agonizing bite at a time, he forced the food into his stomach, grateful for Nick distracting him as he narrated the plotline of the book he had started the night before. After what felt like hours, he had done it, the oatmeal and banana gone, and he swallowed heavily. Although he usually ate a small sandwich and some fruit with chips for lunch, he quickly realized that would be nearly impossible for him today, and moved to the cupboard to select a soup he could just drink without having to chew. Nick smiled gently at him, as if reading his thoughts, and Charlie was even more thankful to have him by his side today.

When they could delay it no longer, they put their coats and shoes on and headed out the door. Charlie pulled Nick into a long hug in the parking lot while Nick’s car warmed up, breathing into his neck, drawing strength from each other. When he pulled back, they kissed gently, reminding each other of how much they loved the other, and no one could take that away. 

Charlie walked quickly to work listening to Chappell Roan, and tried to pull energy from her unapologetically queer music. When he arrived at the office, Isaac was already there (a rarity) so the computers were all booted up and the coffee was already brewing. Charlie was happy to see that his schedule for the day was full, leaving him little time to fret over the election since there wasn’t anything he could do about it and there wouldn’t be any actual results until long after he left work for the day. He kept busy setting up the sterilizer and laying out the instruments for their first two appointments. When everyone else arrived, they gathered for their morning huddle, the mood tight with apprehension. 

Charlie did his best to encourage his staff but it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it today. Robotically, they went over the schedules and then wished each other a quick day so they could all go home to await results. 

It turned out, the full day did lead to it passing very quickly. Once Charlie started interacting with his patients during their exams and doing crowns and fillings, he was able to temporarily forget the stress hanging over his head. His body was aware though, the feeling of dread in his stomach never went away, the soup he had for lunch soured in his belly. By the time the day was finished, Charlie was so anxious, he was glad he had asked Nick to pick him up so he wouldn’t have to walk home.

Seeing Nick settled his nerves marginally, their grip on each other’s hands tight as they drove home. Sitting in the parking lot, Nick still hadn’t turned off the car but looked deep in thought. 

“What’s up? Aren’t we going in?” Charlie asked.

Nick glanced over at him and grimaced. “I know last minute food changes are hard for you, but I just don't have the energy to cook tonight, and I would venture to guess, neither do you?”

Charlie nodded. He really didn’t; honestly, food was the last thing on his mind right now. However, he knew he had to eat - it would be too easy, given the possible outcome of today, to let one skipped meal turn into two, then turn into a day, until he couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten. He refused to let that happen again so with a new determination, he suggested they go get food and bring it home to eat. Nick readily agreed, allowing Charlie to decide where they went. Since pizza was one of Charlie’s safest foods, he chose the pizza place about a mile away that had a “build your own” option so they could go in, choose their custom made pizzas and go home with a meal he felt confident he could consume at least some of. Nick put the car back in gear and drove them straight there and once their order was finished, they went directly back home.

Charlie showered carefully when he got home, making sure to remove all the grime from the office and was extra thorough in certain places, wanting to be prepared if he and Nick decided to seek comfort from each other in bed. He slipped into his flannel pajama pants and one of Nick’s hoodies and shoved his feet into slippers, seeking every possible form of relaxation he could. He padded into the kitchen where he found Nick also in his pajamas already, having set the table with their pizzas and poured them each large glasses of wine, the national news playing on low volume in the background. This early in the evening, there were too few results for many states to be declared but as polling centers closed across the country, the numbers would begin to change.

They sat together to eat, mostly in silence while they listened as the news anchor explained the counties across key states, showing statistics of past elections comparatively to this one and predicting outcomes based on that information. Charlie felt sick, like he could barely handle watching it, but also couldn’t look away. The terror he felt at the probability that Trump was going to win felt like a vice grip on his heart. He had hoped for such an overwhelming landslide for Kamala that there wouldn’t even be a question of where the country’s values were and what they collectively believed but instead he was slowly seeing evidence of selfishness, bigotry and racism gaining ground in all areas of the government.

Charlie forced himself to eat two slices of pizza but couldn’t stomach any more. His first glass of wine was long gone and his second was draining quickly, he’d need to switch to water if he wanted to be functional tomorrow and be present with Nick later, as his need for connection with the man he loved grew steadily stronger. His heart was breaking slowly into pieces as the night wore on until eventually, it became clear Kamala had no chance of winning and the country would be led by Trump for another four years. Charlie felt desperate for Nick to hold him and keep him together.

By unspoken agreement, they turned off the news and put their leftovers in the fridge. Nick filled two large glasses of water for them and they made their way to the bathroom to get ready for bed, their hearts so heavy it made their bodies feel like lead. They went through the motions of preparing for the night before they climbed into the soft warmth of Charlie’s bed and tangled themselves together, Nick’s head resting on Charlie’s chest. What this all meant for them, their families, their community and all the marginalized groups in America, and really, across the world, was almost too much to articulate into words.  

“I don't even know how to feel right now…” Nick whispered, “it feels like a bad dream.”

Charlie felt tears burning his eyes. “I know, baby. I can’t understand that this is what the majority of Americans want …how can they want this? Have I been naive to think that things were getting better nowadays?”

He felt the tell-tale dampness of Nick’s tears soaking through his shirt, and heard him sniffing softly, trying to hold it in.

“This isn’t the world I want my kids to grow up in. How do I support my kids through the world telling them they shouldn’t exist and that their core identity is wrong?” Nick broke off with a sob.

Charlie’s tears spilled over as he listened to Nick cry and felt his distress. He tightened his arms around him. “I don’t know, darling. I feel like I don’t know anything right now. Except that I love you, and I’m right here. We’re in this together, no matter what.” All of his emotions felt so big, so intense at the moment, he could scarcely breathe, his throat tight and his heart in tatters. He needed Nick to stitch him back together.

“Nick,” Charlie whispered, suddenly nervous.

“Yeah, baby?” Nick lifted his head from Charlie’s chest to look him in the face, so attuned to Charlie he had heard the change in his voice.

“Um…god, I don’t know how to say this…” Charlie paused and took a deep breath, forcing himself to look into Nick’s wet eyes. “I know you haven't been ready before, and I was in no hurry to push you, I’m still not! But…and you can say no if you don’t want to, or it feels like bad timing…I just…I really want you tonight, Nick. I want, I want you inside me tonight. I feel like I need you to hold me together.”

Charlie held his breath, afraid he was pushing Nick, or making him feel obligated by asking when they were both in such a vulnerable state. But in a way, that’s why he wanted Nick this way tonight, because they were both feeling so overwhelmed, he wanted them to take care of each other.

Nick stretched up to kiss him desperately before breaking off to respond.

“Oh thank god, Charlie…I was hoping…I mean, I’ve been thinking of it more and more lately…and I was hoping we could do that tonight but I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” He paused to kiss along his jaw. “I need to be as close to you as possible tonight too.” His lips pulled at the tender skin at Charlie’s pulse point, his nose nuzzling into Charlie’s neck. “God, I love you so much. I can’t even tell you how much. I need to show you…can I, darling? Can I show you how much I love you?” Nick’s arms tightened around Charlie as he spoke.

Charlie’s eyes welled up in tears again as he gazed down at Nick, desire growing inside him. He placed both hands on the sides of Nick’s face and pulled him up to him, kissing him deeply. He pressed his lips against Nick’s, softly sucking his lower one between his teeth causing Nick to whine softly and open his mouth further for Charlie. Charlie took advantage of Nick’s offering and darted his tongue gently across his lips before entering Nick’s mouth and swirling his tongue around Nick’s. He trailed his hands along Nick’s neck to his shoulders, down his sides until he reached the hem of his shirt and pulled it swiftly over Nick’s head, breaking the kiss to do so. Nick quickly reached down and removed Charlie’s as well and then leaned in to kiss Charlie’s neck again, sucking gently and scraping it with his teeth, his stubble creating a delicious sensation as he grazed back and forth. Charlie moaned and tilted his chin upwards, his fingers threading through Nick’s hair, giving Nick easier access and holding him in place.

Nick’s hands roamed across Charlie’s chest as he nuzzled his neck, his fingertips tweaking Charlie’s nipples as they passed. Charlie could feel Nick’s erection pressing into his thigh where he lay over him and he lifted his hip to meet it, making Nick groan deeply in his throat, his mouth moving back to capture Charlie’s lips desperately again. Moments later they broke apart, panting heavily, and Charlie traced his hand down Nick’s back before slipping into Nick’s pajamas and the boxers underneath, gripping and caressing Nick’s ass while his other hand worked to remove Nick’s remaining clothing. 

Once he had Nick fully naked, Charlie rolled over so he was straddling Nick and rolled his hips and his own erection against Nick’s. He pulled Nick up to kiss him again, his tongue urgent against Nick’s, and made his way down Nick’s chest, kissing his neck, his pecs, his soft stomach, his hips, before licking a stripe along Nick’s length. Nick gasped above him, bucking up slightly at the sensation. Charlie took him gently in his mouth, tongue swirling at the head as he slowly descended until he had Nick fully surrounded. He cupped Nick’s balls softly in his hands, stroked his taint and swallowed forcibly around Nick’s cock, looking up at him through his eyelashes as he did.

Nick cried out loudly, “Charlie!” and his body shuddered slightly in pleasure. Charlie smiled to himself (god, he loved making Nick feel good) . He popped off and then reached down to remove his own pajamas, his dick springing free as he did. He gave himself a couple of gentle strokes before crawling up to lay next to Nick again, pulling Nick on top of him this time, their cocks rubbing together as they moved. Charlie felt so relaxed like this with Nick, in a way he never had before with another partner, like they were sharing something together rather than performing for each other. Nick kissed him breathlessly again before he broke off and asked Charlie shyly for his help with the next part.

“I’ve been doing some research, hon, but I don’t want to hurt you so I need you to talk me through it, OK?” Nick said softly and hesitantly.

“Nick, you won’t hurt me, I’ll help you make sure you don’t…Can you start with just one finger and see how it feels?”

Charlie could see the lust in Nick’s eyes. They kissed tenderly again and Nick reached over into the side table for the lube. They’d both tested early in their relationship, even though it had been a long time for both of them, and they were both negative, so they felt safe not using a condom. He opened the cap and carefully coated a finger, looking up at Charlie who nodded his encouragement. Charlie guided Nick’s lips back to him quickly and then urged him south, to nip and kiss him while he circled his hole gently before probing slowly inside. Charlie breathed deeply and forced his body to relax into the mattress, allowing Nick to slide his finger in further. Nick’s lips on his cock helped him melt into the sensations, making him more pliable under Nick’s touch. After a few minutes of Nick gently stretching and stroking in and out, Charlie told him to add another finger, he was ready. Nick added more lube, looking at Charlie with reverence. The stretch burned more this time but Nick’s care and efforts encouraged him through it quickly and he was soon desperate for Nick to add another, the building tension for Nick’s cock to be inside him growing rapidly.

He urged Nick to add a third finger, and he immediately complied, gripping himself tightly as he groaned looking down at Charlie. “God, Charlie, you’re so beautiful like this, opening up for me.”

Charlie groaned and rolled down into Nick’s fingers, causing one to graze his prostate and he cried out as the pleasure rippled through him. “Oh fuck Nick, do that again,” he begged. Nick eagerly obeyed and leaned up to kiss Charlie as he did so, groaning deeply into his mouth before breaking off with a gasp. 

“Fuck Charlie, I don’t think I’ll last long. I can’t believe I get to have you like this,” Nick whispered and he curled one finger to touch Charlie’s prostate over and over until Charlie had to make him stop before he came early. 

“Nick, I’m ready. Please, baby, I need you inside me. I need you to hold me and make love to me now,” Charlie could hear how desperate he sounded but he didn’t care. He needed Nick to hold him together, and he needed to love Nick in the best way he knew how in that moment. 

“You sure?” Nick asked, sounding nervous again.

“Yes,” Charlie panted, “just go slow…I’ll tell you when I’m ready for you to move.” Charlie placed his hands behind his knees and pulled them towards his chest, opening himself to Nick, ready to be as close to him as he could be. Nick’s eyes were nearly black as he gazed at Charlie and spread more lube on his cock, then very gently leaned over Charlie and guided himself to Charlie's entrance. Charlie wiggled in anticipation and felt Nick slowly press into him until his tip had breached his rim. Nick paused for a moment to allow Charlie to adjust. Charlie nodded for him to continue, urging him to go slowly, breathing deeply until Nick eventually bottomed out.

Charlie looked up at Nick over him and wrapped his legs around Nick’s waist, pulling him even closer and kissed him deeply, breathlessly. “I love you so much Nick. Are you doing OK, baby?”

“Jesus Charlie,” Nick gasped, “You feel incredible like this. I love you, I love you so much.”

Feeling the burn had passed, leaving behind an intense pressure in his belly, Charlie urged Nick to start to move. He pulled out so slowly and tentatively at first, before sliding back in, eyes scrunched shut in pleasure, and Charlie fell even more in love with him seeing him like this. Charlie arched to meet him and they quickly developed a rhythm, both knowing they wouldn’t last long, their first time like this together.

Bracing himself with one hand, Nick reached between them with the other and stroked Charlie in time with his thrusts. Charlie began to feel the tension tightening like a wave about to break; he gripped his hands tightly on Nick’s shoulders and came with a shout, shuddering as the sensation flooded his senses. Moments later, he heard the shift in Nick’s breathing and Nick came with a cry and then whimpered out, “Fuck Charlie, I love you, I love you, I love you” as his orgasm spilled into Charlie.

Charlie held tightly to Nick as they both fought to catch their breath and fought back tears at the emotions that were racing through him. He loved Nick so much it felt like he would suffocate with it and even on this dark day, he was secure in Nick’s arms. They would hold each other and face whatever the future held, together. 

The next morning, reality hit them in the face again when they saw the news that Donald Trump had officially been nominated the next President of the United States by an overwhelming margin, securing all the battleground states and winning the popular vote. Republicans had taken control of both of the houses of Congress, essentially giving Trump and his supporters unlimited power to take over the government and run the country how they wanted. While the news wasn’t surprising given the trajectory of the night before, it still stunned, angered and, above all, saddened Charlie that this was the person and policies Americans had chosen. Having woken early due to the emotional upheaval of the night before, he lay in bed holding Nick and they cried together. They were so sad for all the people of color, immigrants, the poor and, closest to their hearts, their fellow LGBTQ+ friends and family. 

Nick had texted Sean immediately upon waking, it was three hours later in NY, to check in on him and hadn’t heard back yet. He’d texted Imogen, their shared concern over their family overwhelming. He planned to stop at the house on his way to school to hug his kids and make sure they felt safe. Charlie had received texts from his parents, his brother and Tori, each checking on his welfare. He had responded to the family group chat that he was alright, he and Nick were supporting each other. Both of them considered calling in sick to work, feeling like they actually were a bit sick in response to this devastating situation. But Charlie had patients and employees who counted on him and Nick had students who would possibly need support from a safe teacher, if they could not receive any at home. The reality was, there were queer kids all over the country, living in homes that had voted for and openly supported Trump, who were likely frightened of what this would mean for them. And that’s why Charlie and Nick had to keep going, keep fighting.

The rest of the day felt like living in a fog, going through the motions of work, eyes filling with tears every time it would come to mind what was going on in the world, and the fear would squeeze like ice around Charlie’s heart again. He cried when he watched the video of Kamala’s concession speech. He cried when he heard a patient celebrating to Rachel that Trump had won (thank god that patient didn’t need an exam! He didn’t know how he could have handled it.) He cried multiple times as he talked to Tori and Isaac throughout the day. He hadn’t heard from Nick much, only a couple of heart emojis and a suggestively worded text at lunchtime, extolling how much he loved Charlie and couldn’t wait to see him later. 

Charlie shivered a little at what that might mean, but honestly, he was a little sore from yesterday, after not having bottomed for a couple of years, and he knew Nick was not ready for that yet himself. He was also feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted and, despite how they had come to reach that point last night, he didn’t want to bury emotions in sex on a regular basis. He knew he might have to tread lightly with how he talked to Nick about it though, given what had happened when they were camping, and Nick’s own rejection fears from the past. 

He had never been more grateful for the end of the day as he was today, he felt like he had worked an entire week in one shift. The remainder of the bottle of wine from yesterday evening was calling his name and the promise of the loving embrace of his boyfriend compelled him to lightly jog some of the way home, despite the awkward feeling of his backpack swinging across his back. 

He expected to see Nick’s car parked next to his when he arrived at his apartment complex so was surprised when it wasn’t. He hurried inside, locked the door behind him, and pulled out his phone to text Nick and see when he thought he’d be there so he could try and have dinner ready for him. Leaving his phone on the bathroom counter, he took a quick shower, the hot water calming his sore muscles and gave him a (slightly) improved outlook. After, he slipped into cozy clothes again like last night, breathing in the scent of Nick still lingering on the hoodie he buried himself in, he grabbed his phone to head to the kitchen to start some water to make spaghetti, another of his safe foods that he often chose when he was feeling particularly stressed. Once it was heating, he tapped his phone to life, seeing a message from Nick, telling him to call ASAP. Charlie’s heart lurched and he swiped over to the phone icon immediately, dread settling over him.

“Charlie?” Nick answered, his voice thick.

“Nick? What's wrong?” Charlie demanded, knowing Nick would not ask him to call if it was not an emergency. 

“Charlie…” Nick choked out, unable to go on.

“Nick, where are you? Are you safe?” Nick whimpered softly. “I’m coming to you baby. Where are you?” Charlie asked again, softer this time, as he quickly turned off the stove and hurried to the front door to slip his shoes on and his wallet into his pocket. He grabbed his keys and was out the door, halfway down the stairs when Nick finally was able to tell him he was at the house.

“I’m on my way,” Charlie said as he disconnected, hoping he wasn’t crossing some family boundary by going to Nick’s house where his ex-wife and kids were, on Imogen’s week, not Nick’s. At this point though, he was so worried what might have happened he didn’t care.

The five-minute drive to their house felt like it took hours to Charlie, his heart pounding and his mind racing through the possibilities of what would have made Nick so upset. He hoped, distantly, it had nothing to do with what they had done last night, but he was sure that was just his insecurity lying to him because Nick hadn’t given him any indication he was upset about that, the opposite in fact. He vaguely wondered if something had happened at school that day, but he felt like that wouldn’t be so upsetting to Nick that he’d go to his ex-wife instead of Charlie. Which left the most likely answer to be something to do with one of his kids. And god, Charlie couldn’t imagine something happening to one of them.

He parked quickly and raced to the front door, lightly knocking as he let himself in. Matt was sitting on one sofa with Imogen next to him, holding her hand and his other gripped his phone, knuckles white. Nick sat on the other sofa in a similar position, staring at his phone like he was willing it to ring. Charlie came up quietly and sat next to him, glancing at his phone as he did, seeing the long call log displayed there, of unanswered calls to Sean. Charlie’s heart sank. He gently took Nick’s cheeks in his hands and wiped the tear streaks away with his thumbs and then grasped Nick’s free hand in his. He looked over at Matt with a question in his eyes, thinking Nick might not be able to explain given his current state, but hoped Matt could.

“It’s just…” Matt started to speak, stopping to collect his thoughts, “We haven't heard from Sean since yesterday morning, none of us. And he usually texts me multiple times a day…With the election and everything Trump has said about trans people…and given Sean’s history with self-harm…we’re freaking out a little bit. A lot, actually.” 

The emotions in Matt’s voice as he had stuttered over his words broke Charlie’s heart and tears sprang to his own eyes, understanding their fear without further question. He took a cleansing breath, knowing he could easily lose it himself over this situation, given his own history, but he knew that was not what Nick, or any of them, needed from him. His mind raced through the possibilities of what to do, for the first time feeling the weight of a child going so far away for school. 

“So you haven't heard from him. Have you tried his roommate?” Charlie asked.

“We don’t have his number. I found him on Insta, sent a message, and haven't heard back. Guessed his email based on the school auto-generated ones for students and sent one but haven’t heard anything,” Matt responded.

Charlie thought further. “What about the dorm RA? Do you happen to have their contact info?”

Nick shook his head next to Charlie, the first reaction he had shown, and Charlie squeezed his hand. 

“OK, what about any of his other friends? We can check on his Insta, see if we can find any online that could go check on him?”

Matt sat up straighter, “I didn’t think of that!” and began scrolling through Sean’s Instagram for any who were obviously students at the school and sent messages to a couple of them before leaning back dejectedly. “A lot of people don’t read their DMs from people they don’t know though…”

Charlie agreed; he never did. “So, next thought would be the school must have a 24 hour security number, right? For students to use if they had an emergency and couldn’t get a hold of anyone else. Maybe we can look that up and call them, see if they can do a wellness check for us if we explain the situation.” He was already scrolling through the school’s website as he spoke, exclaiming when he found it.

“Right, I’m not Sean’s parent though. So one of you has to call, I think,” Charlie said, holding his phone out with the number keyed in.

Imogen snapped to attention, grabbed Charlie’s phone and went upstairs into one of the bedrooms; Charlie assumed it was Sean’s and maybe there was some personal information in there she might need for the call. Moments later, he heard her voice talking animatedly, rising and falling with emotion. She emerged after a couple of minutes, the three of them waiting expectantly, to say she had reached the campus security and had told him her son had not been responding to their texts for over 24 hours and had a history of self-harm and she would like them to go check on him. With relief, she said they had responded quickly that they would send someone over right away, having pulled up Sean’s dorm information from the student database. They promised to be in touch within the half hour with any news.

Charlie sighed heavily, at least they had a plan. Glancing over at the kitchen, he could see there was no sign of dinner having been made and, needing something to do to pass the time, asked if it was alright if he made grilled cheese and tomato soup. He had bought a number of cans last week and left them here so he would have something in case he couldn’t have the planned meal. Nick and Imogen nodded gratefully and Charlie went to work on the food preparation, glad to be contributing, but also not wanting to step on this emotional family situation. He worked hard to school his own expression and to fight the tears that wanted to escape as the memories of his own self-harm episodes threatened to spill over. 

Once he had the cheese sliced and the bread buttered, he poured the cans of fancy tomato soup into a pot to warm while he grilled the sandwiches. After a few minutes, the first were ready and he called up the stairs to Niles and Heidi to come eat. They bounded down, surprised to see Charlie there, but then seemed to remember the concern about their brother and sobered a little. He indicated the sandwiches that were ready to eat and handed them each plates and bowls to serve themselves. Niles took a half sandwich and small bowl of soup, Charlie noticed him taking deep breaths as he stared at the food. Heidi, in contrast, took a full bowl and snagged not only her sandwich but the remaining half of Niles’. Charlie was careful not to draw any attention to his observations, focusing instead on making more grilled cheese for Matt (he’d likely want two) and for Nick and Imogen, serving it for them and placing it on the table. He quickly made one for himself, cutting it into four sections to make it easier to eat, as his stress level was at a maximum as well at the moment.

They ate silently, eyes darting to the clock every few minutes, anxious for the phone to ring. The sounds of spoons scraping the sides of the bowls grated on Charlie’s nerves so he focused on his own food until they finished. By now, more than a half hour had passed and their concerns began to rise that something serious had happened, and they wouldn’t be informed until more definitive answers were available.

Just as Nick took a shuddering breath and a few tears had started to fall again, Imogen’s phone rang, the noise startling them. 

“Oh my god, Sean?” Imogen answered breathlessly on speaker phone, Nick having jumped up right next to her, staring at each other in panic. 

“Mom? What’s going on? Why did you send the fucking campus security to bang on my door and wake me up?” Sean’s voice came through, crackling and husky from sleep.

“Sean, bud, none of us have heard from you since yesterday… and with the election, we knew you’d be upset and we were so worried something happened to you…that you had…” Nick’s shattered voice broke off, strangled by the lump of tears in his throat.

“Oh my fucking god…no! I mean, yeah, I’m devastated and feeling pretty shit, to be honest, but not like that…”

“Well, then, why haven’t you answered any of our texts or calls, even Matt’s! Didn’t you recognize that we were worried?” Imogen demanded, heat in her voice.

“I’m so sorry, honestly, I didn’t think. I accidentally dropped my phone in the dining hall yesterday morning and it shattered. I'm gonna get a new one tomorrow. I didn’t even know you’d tried to call me!” Sean explained, sounding sincerely apologetic now. 

Nick sighed heavily, “OK, well, now that we have you on the phone, are you alright? And whose number did you call from, by the way?”

“It’s Jace’s, my roommate?”

“Alright, we are going to save this number in case of emergency again. Please get your phone sorted out tomorrow…you’re OK, though?”

“Yes, Papa, I’m OK. Fucking angry and scared, but I’m safe,” Sean assured them.

“Good. We’ll let you go back to sleep then. Send us your new number tomorrow, if you can’t keep the old one.”

With that, they hung up and collectively breathed a deep sigh of relief. Nick and Imogen hugged quickly before Nick came over and fell into Charlie. He knew he needed to get Nick home to decompress and process his feelings away from the eyes and ears of his children. While it was important they saw him show emotion, Charlie could sense this kind of potential breakdown might be too distressing for them to witness. He turned to lead Nick to the door, glancing at Imogen to make sure she would be alright. At her nod, he took Nick’s hand, they called goodbye to the kids and went out to his car. Driving home in silence, Charlie rubbed continuous soothing circles on Nick’s thigh, his boyfriend lost in deep thought. 

When they got home, they went into the bathroom to brush and pee before going into Charlie’s bedroom where he stripped Nick to his boxers, did the same for himself, and pulled Nick into bed with him, covering them in his heavy, warm blankets and wrapped his arms and legs around Nick, just in time for him to completely fall apart. 

Chapter Text

Nick

The last week had been an emotional roller coaster for Nick, ranging from the highest highs to the lowest lows, and everything in between. Nick’s nerves were still in tatters. The day of the election had felt like a death to him in many ways - death of the belief in the basic humanity of his fellow Americans, death of the progress made in the past half century, death of the hope of a better future. He had felt like he couldn’t cope with all the sadness and anger and despair all at once, until Charlie had needed him. Needed him to hold him, to bandage the wounds on his heart, needed him to make love to him. 

Making love to Charlie like they had Tuesday night, their eyes still wet with the tears shed in light of the election results, had changed Nick. He had never experienced anything like that before. Nick knew he had loved Imogen, that his children had been conceived in the love they had for each other…but with Charlie it was something different, something more . Nick wasn’t even sure he could articulate the difference but it was there and he knew he would never be the same. What he had with Charlie, this was how it was supposed to be and he planned to do whatever he had to, to fight for their chance to stay together. Even when it seemed that fight might be for their right to love each other.

The high of their lovemaking faded quickly as the reality of the next day set in when Nick went to check on his kids before school, holding them close and telling them how much he loved them and promising to do what he could to protect them and advocate for a better future for them. It faded further into the dull background as the silence from Sean continued late into the afternoon, the pit of fear eating away at his insides a bit more every minute that passed without a message from his eldest. Nick’s mind had tumbled through the memories of the first time he had walked in on Sean bandaging his arms, where he had cut and scratched himself to deal with his own emotional turmoil. How he had felt so hopeless when he had sat at Imogen’s side when they called the queer teen counseling center where Darcy worked, to schedule an appointment immediately for Sean. His cruel imagination had conjured visions of Sean, alone in his dorm room, despondent from the election and the ramifications for himself and his fellow trans siblings, a razor in hand with no one there to stop him in time.

When Charlie had called and then shown up within minutes of their abbreviated conversation, first assessing the situation and comforting Nick before he took immediate action to try and help, his less emotional brain capable of solutions none of them had thought of, Nick had felt the first flicker of light again, that maybe his worst fears weren’t about to be realized. He had been overwhelmed with love and pride at the way Charlie had taken care of all of them when he prepared dinner, even though Nick knew food was likely the furthest thing from Charlie’s own mind at the time. When they had finally heard from Sean, who had been aghast at their concerns, he had wanted nothing more than to be held by Charlie and release all the pent up emotions he had tried to hold in, only having allowed himself a few tears and had otherwise withdrawn into himself. Somehow, Charlie had known that too. He had escorted Nick carefully home, through their bedtime routines and wrapped Nick in the warm embrace of his arms and legs tightly around him, with as much skin touching as possible. 

Nick had fallen apart at that moment, finally able to break down and feel everything he had been trying to bury since the night before. His body had wracked with sobs, tears streaming down his face, his nose clogged and his breathing ragged. He couldn’t say how long he had cried that night in Charlie’s arms but when he had finally calmed, he felt like his body had been turned inside out, like he didn’t know which was up and which was down. Charlie, the love of his life, had stayed with him the entire time. His arms had held him tightly except when he reached for tissues to wipe Nick’s tears, his tongue had murmured words of comfort and love, his lips had pressed soft kisses into his hair and face. When he had finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep, he had felt empty of everything except Charlie.

Nick woke the next morning and bolted out of bed, panicked because he had somehow slept through his alarm and was likely going to be late for school. He raced to the bathroom, calling out to Charlie asking why he hadn’t woken him. Charlie tiptoed slowly into the room, hanging his head. 

“Nick…” Charlie’s voice was so soft, Nick had to stop getting ready to look at him.

“Charlie, what’s wrong? Did something else happen?” He didn’t know if he could handle another traumatic event at the moment.

“No! Baby, no, I just…god, I overstepped this morning and I’m scared you’re going to be mad at me,” Charlie looked at him with pleading eyes. 

“Why? What did you do?” Nick asked as he hurried back to the bedroom to get dressed, Charlie following behind him.

“Well…I…called your school…told them you were sick and would be out the rest of the week…”

“What? Charlie, why would you do that? I’m fine, I can handle it. I have to teach today,” Nick protested, surprised at the anger he felt and could hear in his own voice.

“No, darling, I don’t think you can,” Charlie defended, “First off, no offense babe, since I know you’re upset, but you look like shit. And second of all, I know you feel like shit. I knew you wouldn’t prioritize yourself this morning, so I turned off your alarm and called the school. I didn’t say what was wrong, just that you were ill and wouldn’t be in until next week. You can be mad if you want to, but I know you need a couple of days off. To rest, to read, go on a walk, probably schedule an emergency meeting with your therapist, whatever you need to do to take care of you .”

Nick deflated almost instantly, the anger burned away as fast as it had ignited, and he sat heavily onto the side of the bed before he flopped backwards and stared up at the ceiling. He knew Charlie was right, he did feel like shit and his anxiety was not going to get better by ignoring it so a visit to his therapist was probably a good idea. He was just so used to being the strong one, the one who didn’t let his students or family down, and somehow he felt like he had done both this week. Charlie came over to him, kneeling between Nick’s knees and placing his hands on his thighs, rubbing up and down them gently. Nick wrenched himself back upright and leaned down to kiss Charlie, a tender but heartfelt apology for his reaction. 

“Are you still going to work?” Nick asked when they broke apart.

Charlie nodded, “Yeah, I am. I think it’ll be good for you to have some time to yourself, to think and process your feelings, right? If you make that appointment, you’d be gone anyways, so I’d just be here alone.”

Nick sighed, “But I’m going to miss you, I don’t like not being with you.”

“Babe, I know. I’ll miss you too and think about you a lot. But we have to take care of ourselves sometimes too…you could take a walk at my lunchtime and come have lunch with me? If you want.”

“Char…god, I love you so much. You’re right, I think some time to process everything alone is what I need. You took care of me last night, when I couldn’t be alone but…I can do this,” Nick said, a bit shakily, like he was still trying to convince himself.

Charlie stood and then straddled Nick’s knees, wrapping his legs around his waist, holding onto Nick’s shoulders, and kissed him thoroughly. Nick groaned softly, arching up into Charlie on his lap.

“Or you could just stay home too and we could make love all day,” Nick whispered, trailing his lips along Charlie’s exposed collarbone.

Charlie giggled, his head dropping onto Nick’s shoulder, “I wish we could but I have patients today, and employees who count on me to pay their bills and I don’t think it would be very responsible to cancel the day just so I could fuck my super hot, amazing boyfriend.”

Nick laughed. 

“Also…I don’t think we should make it a habit to bury our feelings in sex, because they won’t be resolved that way…” Charlie said gently and Nick agreed wholeheartedly.

He stood up, gently pushing Charlie to stand as well ( as much as he’d like to stand with Charlie in his arms, he’s too old for that particular move anymore) , and followed him into the kitchen for coffee. He spied the time on the clock and turned rapidly to Charlie.

“You’re late! Aren’t you supposed to be there by 7:30? It’s almost 8!”

Charlie ducked his head. “Yeah, I called Isaac and asked him to reschedule my first filling patient so I could be here with you when you woke up. I didn’t want to text you what I had done.”

Nick chuckled and gave him another peck on the cheek. “I’m not mad anymore Char, I get it.”

It turned out Charlie was absolutely right, he did need a few days to take care of his mental health. He spent Thursday reading a book, took a walk to have lunch at Charlie’s office, had an emergency meeting with his therapist who helped him articulate some of the intense feelings he’d experienced so he could move through them, took a long hot shower (where he absolutely did not think about Charlie having been in there with him!) and even managed to take a nap before making dinner from scratch for Charlie. It was the best self care he had had in a long time and was a good reminder that, in the busyness of life, he needed to make time for himself more often. 

The rest of the weekend, they made a point to fill their time with activities that were good for them in body and soul, to grieve the heartbreak they felt about the election but to turn their eyes to healing themselves and contributing to their community. They went for a long run together on a gentle trail along the river, brought their books to a coffee shop and stayed for hours, had a game night with Michael and Tori and Nick’s kids, and did brunch with Charlie’s parents on Sunday at Nick’s house for the first time. The weekend revived them from their sadness and gave them a burning desire to create a better future, to fight for their rights, and to love each other in the process.

The next two and a half weeks flew by. Charlie was really busy at work, his schedule packed with patients wanting to use their remaining insurance benefits before the end of the year, and he had come home at the end of every day and collapsed into Nick. It made Nick feel so fulfilled to be able to take care of Charlie when he was exhausted and stressed, the same way Charlie had taken care of him when he was overwhelmed and emotional. Nick had decided to continue his weekly therapy appointments again for the time being, realizing the next months would likely be full of situations that he would need the extra support to get through. 

Before they knew it, it was the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving and Nick and Charlie were both checking in at the airport, just not to the same destination. Charlie was heading to LA to spend the long weekend with Tao and Elle, a much needed respite for him, and he had been excitedly talking about it for a week. 

Nick, on the other hand, was flying to the opposite side of the country, to New York City to celebrate Thanksgiving with Sean. After the post-election trauma when they couldn’t get a hold of Sean for more than a day, Nick was desperate to wrap his arms around his son and hold him close. It was meant to be Nick’s first Thanksgiving without his children (he and Imogen had agreed to a joint one the previous year) since Imogen was traveling with them to Portland where her sister lived, and despite everything, Nick was not welcomed among her family anymore. So, with Charlie going out of town and Sean unable to get enough time off from school and work to justify the expense of flying home, Nick decided to break the bank and go visit him. 

After they made it through the hectic security line (whose bright idea had it been to fly the week of Thanksgiving anyway?), they made their way to the Starbucks in the airport to wait for their respective flights. Charlie was antsy, his foot bouncing enough under the table that Nick had to hold both hands on his coffee to prevent it from tumbling over. When he lifted it to take a sip, he laid a hand on Charlie’s thigh and leaned into his side, trying to infuse calm into his love’s nerves. 

“You alright, darling?” Nick asked gently.

“Yeah, I just…I don’t love flying. I’m not scared of it or anything. It’s just crowded and sometimes overwhelming for me. I always worry about getting sick from someone on the plane and then having to close the office. Sorry, I know I’m being silly,” Charlie grimaced, looking over at Nick.

“Babe, no ‘S’ word. I get it, it’s not my fave either. I’m just trying to remember I get to see Sean when I get there, would it help you to think about seeing Tao and Elle again?”

Charlie shook his head but took a deep breath. “Not really, but I’ll be alright. I’m going to wear a mask on the plane and take a Dramamine to sleep. I can handle it,” he resolved, taking a sip of his decaf coffee.

“Well, I can’t wait to hear all about your trip, I’m going to miss you so much. I hope you'll send me lots of pictures of the palm trees and the beach…and maybe something else also?” Nick whispered slyly in Charlie’s ear.

Charlie gasped, “Nicholas, whatever do you mean!” before giggling behind his hand. He looked at Nick through his lashes, dropped his voice an octave and said, “Maybe I’ll even send you a video…”

Nick’s eyes widened and all the blood in his body rushed south which was very inconvenient for him since he was wearing joggers and they were in a very public place. He quickly set down his coffee and placed an arm across his lap, closing his eyes to think of something else, anything other than the vision Charlie had just seared into his brain. 

“...of the waves on the beach,” Charlie finished moments later, eyes twinkling with mirth, knowing what he had just done to Nick.

Nick’s eyes flew open and he laughed out loud, “Oh my god, Charlie! I hate you!”

“No, you love me,” Charlie responded with a smile, hiding his lips behind his cup.

“I do,” Nick hurried to say, “I really do,” before he leaned over and gave Charlie a gentle, chaste kiss, deliberately not wanting to aggravate the situation in his pants.

It was almost time to head to their own gates so they collected their now-empty green and white throw-away cups and shouldered their bags to make their way to the concourse. Nick’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it quickly out, expecting it to be a message from one of the kids telling him to have a good trip, but was surprised to see a text from his mom. She was having Thanksgiving with David’s family, and Nick couldn’t understand why she would be texting him from that visit.

Mom [6:45] : ‘Nicky, dear, I’m here at David’s for Thanksgiving and we’ve been talking about Christmas. It’s been ages since both your families came to the lake at the same time, especially for Christmas, and I’d really like to do that this year. David and Jess say they are happy to come so I’m hoping you and the kids will come too. It would mean a lot to me, to have both of my boys and all my grandkids together for Christmas this year. You never know how many Christmases I have left. What do you think?’

Nick suddenly felt sick, like a thousand snakes were writhing in his stomach. He had no idea how, or why, his mom thought he would ever want to see David again, let alone on Christmas with his children. His eyes welled with tears, the anger he felt at his brother surging through him again. He squeezed them shut, not wanting them to escape when he was out in public, and trying to leave for a joyful holiday with his son. 

“Nick…everything OK?” Charlie questioned hesitantly.

Nick couldn't speak, just handed his phone to Charlie for him to read the text, hearing Charlie inhale sharply as he read his mom’s words. 

“What the fuck, Nick?” Charlie spat out the words. “I’m sorry, babe, I know she’s your mom, but how dare she ask you to do that, after what he said about all of us in that sermon? And the way she’s said it, it’s almost like guilt tripping you into going, isn’t it?”

Nick sighed heavily. He didn’t want to deal with this right now, in fact, he couldn’t deal with this right now. So he gently took his phone back from Charlie and re-pocketed it and pulled him into his arms. He held onto Charlie tightly, his face buried in Charlie’s neck and scent, and breathed in and out until he felt calm enough to pull back. He placed both hands on the sides of Charlie’s face and kissed him as if no one else was around and no one else mattered, because in that moment, all that mattered to him was showing Charlie how much he loved him and would miss him on his trip. The rest they could deal with when they got back.

“You're right, Char. And obviously, we won’t be going. But right now, I don’t want to think about any of that. You’re going to LA to have fun with your friends; I’m going to New York to have fun with Sean. Let’s focus on that for now, deal with my mom and David when we get back?” Nick said resolutely. 

Charlie nodded, staring deep into his eyes. “OK babe, we can do that,” he said, before grabbing Nick’s hand and turning towards the concourse.

They hugged tightly and kissed thoroughly at Charlie’s gate, Nick wishing him a good flight and reminding him to text him as much as possible while they were apart, and then Nick went further along the row of gates to catch his own flight. Nick had to fly to Seattle first before changing planes for a red eye to NYC but Charlie had a direct flight from Spokane to LA. 

Once he was situated in his cramped seat (do these rows get closer every time?) heading to NYC, Nick put in his earbuds and tried to sleep for as much of the flight as possible, knowing he’d arrive three hours ahead in time and would need to try and get past the jet lag quickly in order to most enjoy his time with Sean. Despite the tight quarters and occasional turbulence, Nick was able to sleep about half of the five hour flight, which pleased him. When he landed, he sent a text to Charlie saying he’d arrived, but knew Charlie was likely sleeping at Tao and Elle’s based on the ‘goodnight 😚’ text that came through once he was out of airplane mode. Then he texted Sean, who was also likely sleeping still, and made his way to baggage claim before heading to the train.

He’d reserved an AirBnB for the two of them near Sean’s school but right near the train line so they could easily go into Manhattan whenever they wanted. Even though it was outside the city, it had cost a fortune given the amount of travellers who came to New York for the Thanksgiving parade, causing the prices to skyrocket that week. When he arrived at the small apartment, he quickly searched online for the closest grocery store and, armed with his pre-written list, went to buy the food for their Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. Sean and a couple of his university friends planned to come for the day to eat, drink beer and wine (sshhhh! He believed it was OK to drink underage as long as you were at home and not driving!) , and play games to celebrate the holiday. 

As he was unloading the food he’d wrangled home, Charlie messaged him and they spent a few minutes texting before he left to go out to brunch with Tao and Elle. Sean arrived at the apartment shortly after and they went out for a late lunch together and then back to the apartment to hang out. Nick was constantly impressed with Sean’s maturity and poise and he told him so repeatedly. By the time it was 9pm, Nick was shattered and went to bed early, knowing he’d wake early and have to prepare food most of the morning. He sent Charlie a picture of himself lying in bed and then fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, he and Sean had a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast before they set out to prepare the holiday meal. Even though neither of them were too keen on celebrating Thanksgiving as an American thing, they did still enjoy the food and tradition around it. They pulled up their streaming service with Friends on it and watched all the Thanksgiving episodes while they cooked, their families' own unique tradition, skipping the parade entirely. By mid-afternoon, Sean’s friends from school who also couldn’t go home for the weekend, had arrived, toting a selection of card and board games to play. They spent the rest of the day eating until they were stuffed, drinking until they were tipsy, and playing games and laughing until their stomachs hurt. He’d documented the entire day to send to Charlie later, but mostly just stayed in the moment, enjoying his time with Sean. It hit him then, how much he loved having an adult child and how nice it was to be able to talk to him about grown up topics without having to censor himself.

Friday morning dawned pleasantly warm and sunny so Nick and Sean set off to explore the city. They had plans to see a show in the evening, Hadestown , but wanted to walk around downtown and see the sights while it was decent weather. Nick had only been to NYC once before when they had come to visit Sean’s university while he was still in high school, but there was so much to see that couldn’t all be accomplished in one day. 

The city was positively brimming with people, with so many there for the holiday weekend, and it was awkward to move around sometimes, Nick having to hold onto Sean’s shoulder to avoid getting separated. With the travel costs being so high and the Broadway tickets really expensive, they didn’t intend to spend a lot of money sightseeing, just wandered the streets, taking in the Empire State building, visiting the Starbucks Reserve below it. They meandered through Rockefeller Center, admiring the enormous Christmas tree in the center, and browsed the Strands bookstore for a couple of hours. When the sun began its descent, they got in line for a couple of large slices of pizza for dinner and slowly walked while eating towards Times Square to see it all lit up. There were so many people, both Sean and Nick started to feel overwhelmed, gripping each other's hands to stay calm together. It was really quite the spectacle and Nick was glad to have experienced it, but didn’t feel it would be necessary for him to see it again. 

The theater for the show was just a block away from Times Square and since they were both cold and anxious, they decided to go and get in line so they could go in as soon as the doors opened. Seeing a Broadway show was like nothing Nick had ever experienced in entertainment before, and since their first NYC visit, he was determined he would see at least one show per trip. This production was no exception, and he and Sean excitedly discussed the musical on their walk back to the train that evening, walking around Times Square to avoid the bedlam again. 

Once on the train, Nick commented that he was sure Charlie would have loved the show too, and Sean said he should bring Charlie with him the next time he came to visit. Nick hummed his agreement, deep in thought. He planned to talk to Sean about his future with Charlie while he was here, but he didn’t feel like tonight was the night since they were both so tired.

Nick woke the next morning to a stream of texts from Charlie, which he responded to all of, including a shirtless one of Charlie at the beach. He knew it was probably too cold for him to have actually gotten into the water, but the thought of it stirred his cock awake and he was disappointed, for the first time that weekend, that Sean was in the next room. He didn’t want to do that , with his young adult son within hearing distance. After a quick shower, where he distracted himself from thoughts of a wet, naked Charlie by focusing on more mundane thoughts of lesson planning, Nick and Sean travelled back into the city but to a different area this time, walking along the High Line to Chelsea market, past the Stonewall Inn, and over to Washington Square Park, chatting and taking pictures the whole way. They had eaten NY bagels for breakfast and drank coffee as they moseyed around, not in any real hurry today. They had tickets for a matinee showing of Hamilton , which was phenomenal, so much better in person than the video version even though it was no longer the original cast members. It was getting dark when they exited the theater so they took the subway to Central Park, since Nick really wanted to see the remaining fall colors on the trees if he could. As they walked through, it slowly got darker and colder so they did a quick Google search for a restaurant to eat dinner. Sean found a ramen one that had great reviews and led the way there. 

They were shown to a small table for two in the tiny restaurant and quickly made their selection, still conversing about the show and its relevance to all the shit happening in the world in the present day. Nick took a deep breath at a pause in the conversation before launching into the topic he’d been planning on broaching with Sean since he’d arrived. 

“So, Sean, you know how I’ve been with Charlie for six months now?” Nick started, and continued at Sean’s nod of affirmation. “I guess, I’m just wondering, like, man-to-man, how you feel about it? Do you like Charlie? Are you ok with me dating him, with getting more serious about him? You know, I don’t want to do anything to deepen our relationship until I’ve talked to all of you.” Nick stammered through his mini speech, hoping he was conveying his feelings accurately to his son. 

“Papa, seriously…I know you love all of us, and don’t want to upset us…but also, we know you are your own person and need to be happy too. Charlie makes you happy. To be honest, I was a little surprised, even though I've known you were bi for a long time, that your first and only person after Mom, was a man. I think it’s because I’ve only ever seen you with her,” Sean stopped and appeared to be collecting his thoughts.

“But Papa, you are so much more yourself with Charlie than I’ve ever seen you, like, you're a fuller version of you? If that makes sense? He seems to know you in a way that makes you better, and I think…that’s how relationships are supposed to be, right?”

Nick nodded slowly. “I think I know what you mean. Like, with Charlie, I feel more free to just be me…not a version of me that everyone expects. Is it weird to talk about this with  me?”

Sean shrugged while admitting, “A bit, but it doesn't mean we shouldn’t talk about it. I do want to know more about you guys.”

Nick grinned. “I mean, the thing is, I loved your mom, love your mom. She’s an amazing person, and she gave me the four of you. And she’s still one of my best friends. But with Charlie, we just…speak the same language, you know? Not saying we agree about everything or that, like, everything is perfect or will always be perfect…but I want to make it work with him, more than I ever expected to after your mom and I divorced. Are you…are you OK with that?”

Nick nervously watched as Sean thought about what he had said, relief pouring through him when he nodded firmly. 

“Yeah, I am, Papa. I really like Charlie, he’s cool and he’s compassionate. I look forward to getting to know him more whenever we see each other.”

“And if, for example, Charlie and I move into together soon, or eventually get married? We’d have your support?”

Sean nodded again, “Yeah, you would.”

Nick grinned widely, and picked up his chopsticks to finish his dinner, satisfied and proud that he had had such a mature conversation with his son, and could move forward with Charlie with his blessing. 

They spent the rest of the meal talking more about Sean’s studies this semester and his plans to take the LSATs in the spring, hoping to go to law school the following year. Nick encouraged him to join more of the LGBTQ groups on campus, knowing that the coming years would be hard on all queer people and they would need each other's support. He cheered Sean’s efforts to apply for an internship in Washington DC that would take place in the January semester break, hoping he would be chosen for the honor even while knowing it would be a hard time to be a trans person in DC. He, in turn, told Sean about the GSA he and Niles were running and about the book he’d just finished reading for the queer book club he attended. He mentioned in passing the text from his mom about David and Christmas, which caused Sean’s eyes to widen and him to vehemently say he would not be attending if David was there. Nick assured him he was going to address the whole situation when he got home, which Sean thanked him profusely for.

They boarded the train back to the AirBnB and continued talking the whole way back, like they were friends as well as family. Sean was going back to his dorm that night because he had to work the next day and needed to do his homework for the upcoming week, and Nick had an early flight home to try and beat the post-Thanksgiving weekend travel by a day. They hugged tightly; even though Sean was not a very touchy-feely person, he always allowed Nick to hug him when they wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while, and Nick wiped his eyes at the couple of tears that leaked out when he thought about how much he loved his son. He was so glad the fears from a few weeks ago had been unfounded; he had purposefully not brought that situation up around Sean, knowing it was a touchy subject, but he allowed himself to feel his relief now again as they said goodbye.

Nick spent the next hour packing his belongings and cleaning the apartment for the next visitor. Once he was ready to go, he messaged Charlie, hoping for a quick FaceTime before he went to bed.

Nick [9:05 EST] : ‘Hey babe, you available for a quick chat? I’m missing you 🤭’

He waited impatiently, feeling a thickening in his cock, hoping they could have a very specific kind of video chat.

Charlie [6:14 PST] : ‘Ummm, yes please. Tao and Elle just left to go grab dinner, if we hurry we can… 😉 🍆’

Nick gasped (Thank god we are thinking the same thing!) and quickly tapped the link to connect them. When he saw Charlie’s beautiful face fill his screen, his cock throbbed again and his heart swelled with love.

“Hi baby…” Charlie’s voice came through, his smile wide and his dimples showing. “How are you? I’ve missed you.”

“God, Charlie, I’ve missed you so much,” Nick whined, “I can't wait to see you when you get home on Sunday. How’s your time with Tao and Elle been?”

“Amazing…but Nick, they’ll be here in like, 20 minutes, I wasn’t kidding when I said we had to hurry,” Charlie said, sounding desperate already and the video jumping around and then holding still, the screen showing him leaning against the back of a wooden headboard shirtless and flushed.

Nick groaned loudly, “Charlie, fuck, you have no idea what you do to me.”

“Show me then, baby,” he teased him.

Nick flipped the camera on his phone, to show Charlie the very obvious outline of his erection through his boxers.

“Fuck Nick, take them off. I want to see you touch yourself. Can you find something to prop your phone up?” Charlie begged, breathlessly.

Nick’s eyes scanned the room quickly, settling on the lamp on the bedside table, hoping it would work to lean his phone on and allow Charlie to see him. If they couldn’t be in the same room to do this to each other, at least they could watch while they did it to themselves. His hands free now, Nick stared at Charlie through the screen, his breath catching as he watched him slowly stroking himself. God, Nick wanted to be there stroking him. But he looked so hot like this, Nick was sure it would be enough to satisfy him until they saw each other in person in two days.

“Baby, kneel on the bed closer to your phone, I want to be closer to you,” Charlie told him, panting heavier now. Nick could see Charlie’s arm moving but he couldn’t see him fully either. 

“Charlie,” Nick rasped out, “you too, move closer please,” his own hand stroking himself a bit faster now, just hearing Charlie and imagining what he looked like. Charlie shifted on the bed until he came closer into focus and Nick grunted sharply, “Fuck Charlie, look at you, so hard for me already.”

“Only for you Nick…I’m only ever hard like this for you,” Charlie stuttered.

“Oh my god, love, I’m not going to make it long, I miss you so much. Can you…”

“What, Nick? What do you want me to do? Tell me and I’ll do it, I want to be so good for you,” Charlie moaned as he said the last part, looking straight at Nick through the screen. 

Nick whined again, feeling so loved when Charlie talked to him like that. “Can you finger yourself too, while you stroke your cock?”

“Yes, fuck, yes Nick…”
Nick watched as Charlie applied lube to his finger and repositioned himself slightly on the bed. He couldn’t see everything but it didn’t take long before he heard Charlie moan, “Oh my god, it’s so good… Nick…oh shit…I think I’m going to come already? Are you almost there?”

A deep guttural noise ripped from Nick’s throat as he cried out for Charlie to come for him and he shot white ropes of cum into his own hand, trying to catch the copious amount. His orgasm and loud moans peaked and slowly came down, leaving Nick sated and spent. 

“Shit Charlie, you’re amazing…I can’t believe you’re mine,” Nick whispered as he wiped his hands on tissues.

“Same,” Charlie smiled at him, cleaning his own chest with his briefs.

They caught their breath for another minute before picking up the abbreviated previous conversation about how their respective trips were going, even though they’d been in daily communication via text the whole time. It was different hearing each other's voices, seeing each other’s faces. A few minutes later, Nick saw Charlie’s eyes shift to look over the top of his screen and heard Tao and Elle calling out their hellos to Charlie that they were home. 

“Babe, they’re here with dinner so I better go. I’ll see you Sunday though, you’re picking me up from the airport right?” Charlie verified.

“Yeah, I’ll wait in the cell phone lot so just text me when you're at baggage claim OK?” Nick reminded him, “I hope you have a good last day with them tomorrow.”

“Thanks darling. I will. I can’t wait to see you. Have a safe flight tomorrow, I love you.”

“I love you too, so much,” Nick said, feeling a little emotional, he couldn’t wait to see his love in two days.

“Bye Nick,” Charlie blew a kiss as he disconnected.

“Bye Charlie.”

The next forty eight hours passed uneventfully. Nick arrived in plenty of time to the airport for his flight and was thrilled to learn he had been upgraded to the (slightly) more legroom row for the long flight to Seattle. It seemed weird, but due to the jet stream, it took almost an hour and a half longer to fly home and since it was during the day, Nick struggled to sleep more than in little fits and starts. He landed safely at home Saturday evening, and was so grateful they had arranged for their friends to drop them off and pick them up, so he didn’t have to pay the astronomical parking lot fee. 

Tara and Darcy were waiting for him outside of baggage claim and whisked him off to their favorite local burger restaurant to debrief about the trip and hear all about how Sean was doing. Darcy was particularly interested in how he was handling the news about the election and Nick forced himself to share about his breakdown that day. They were both very empathetic, grateful Charlie had been there by his side, and vowed they should make an effort to spend more time together as the upcoming years would be challenging. Tara was worried about her business, and how she might fare under the homophobia Trump was sure to push in his policies. It was a delicious meal and the conversation was even better. Nick was so glad they had planned it this way. (Maybe we should plan a New Years Eve party for all our queer friends?)  

They dropped him back at his apartment (he and Imogen had planned a Sunday night parent switch after they got back from Portland) and he immediately went straight to bed, his heart longing to wrap his arms around Charlie the next evening. 

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie had been planning for months, even before he had met Nick, to spend  Thanksgiving with Elle and Tao in LA. He rarely took trips for himself, despite his low cost of living meaning that he could easily afford it. He’d never really liked travelling solo, and he had dreamed of having a partner one day who he could see the world with. Still, LA was warm in November and Washington was not, so Charlie was excited to leave Spokane for a few days. While he knew it was good for him and Nick to have some independence, it was going to be the longest they had spent apart since they first met and he was going to miss Nick a lot. That didn’t stop him teasing Nick by saying he would only miss him a little bit, which Nick had replied was very, very rude before cozying up for more hugs before he left. 

When he had disembarked the plane in sunny LA, he was still fuming about the text Nick’s mom had sent, essentially trying to gaslight her son and grandchildren into spending Christmas with her and David, despite the horrible homophobic and transphobic things he believed and “preached” about online. He had thought a lot about it on the plane and had decided that while he was here, away from Nick, he was going to do some digging into Nick’s brother’s social media; to what end, he did not know. He knew his friends would help him and be able to give him some perspective on what he should do about it. He also wanted their advice about how he should handle the growing concern he had about Niles, especially since they had known Charlie as a young teenager when he was in the height of his own disordered eating. Mostly, though, he wanted to have fun reconnecting with his lifelong friends and enjoy some time in the sun, away from the obligations of his dental practice and his currently overwhelming workload. 

His first day there, they had spent at Disneyland, having hoped the lines might be slightly reduced the day before a major holiday. They were wrong, in fact, which meant they had spent hours in line for rides that they increasingly realized were not as enjoyable as they had been in their younger bodies. Something about turning 40 seemed to have flipped a switch in all of them, making their joints ache from all the walking and standing and the motion of the rides made them sick significantly faster than on previous visits. They had still had fun, just having the uninterrupted time to be together and standing in line at least gave them time to catch up. Tao, in his typical supportive but also very protective role in Charlie’s life, wanted updates on how Nick was treating Charlie, seeming satisfied with what Charlie told him. Elle wanted to hear more about Nick’s kids, particularly about Sean and his interest in civil rights law, which led to Charlie telling them how they had all been faring since the election. 

His friends had also asked if Charlie knew more about Nick’s past relationship (he gave them an abridged version of Nick’s divorce) and how he felt it might impact their own future. Charlie had answered all their questions as honestly as he could, appreciating the perspective it gave him to look at it from an outsider’s understanding. He had even told them all about David and Sarah’s Christmas holiday plans, explaining the tension and broken relationship as best as he could. It was related to one of the things he had realized on the plane, actually, which was that he had never seen the videos David had made or read any of what he posted online. He trusted Nick was telling him the truth (why would anyone lie about such a thing?) but he felt he needed to see it for himself.

So the morning after Thanksgiving (which had basically consisted of them ordering Chinese food, binge watching Schitt’s Creek and drinking most of the day), Charlie, Tao and Elle had huddled around Tao’s laptop and begun a deep dive into David Nelson, “online missionary”. They had held hands as they watched multiple videos related to his views on homosexuality, transgender people, divorce, even his claims that God had prophesied that Trump was going to be president. Elle had hugged Charlie tightly when he had sobbed listening to him talk about gay people and he had, in turn, held her when she had cried over his trans people comments. Tao had raged at the screen when David had spoken with reverence for Trump’s “anointing” as God’s president. In the end the three were left so sad that such a person even believed like that in the first place, but furthermore, utterly heartbroken that he happened to be Nick’s brother. Nick, who was the most kind-hearted, gentle soul Charlie had ever met, was related to a man who seemed to believe it was his mission to spew hate into the world under the guise of it being “love”. It was as if he didn’t even care when he was directing that hate at his own family.

The morning they had poured over David’s social media had left them all feeling emotionally exhausted, so they had decided to spend the rest of the day in the sun at the beach. It hadn’t been hot enough to swim, but the sun on their faces and the slight breeze in the air, had rejuvenated their spirits. While they had lounged in their beach chairs, Charlie had taken a selfie of himself on the beach with his shirt off, and sent it to Nick, wishing he was here with him. Staring at the waves crashing into the shore and out over the vast ocean, the three of them had discussed, at length, what they thought Charlie should do about David, if there was anything he could do, besides support Nick in whatever decision he made about his brother. Charlie had contemplated whether he should write a letter to David, imploring him to rethink his views, to try and help him understand how harmful they were. Elle had promised to send him some resources she knew of, which explicitly explained the effects of such beliefs when placed on queer people. 

Not wanting to get into the other heavy topic he needed their help with, Charlie had simply enjoyed the day at the beach before walking back to their apartment to shower and talk to Nick, while Tao and Elle had driven to their favorite restaurant to bring food home for dinner. His very quick (although incredibly satisfying) FaceTime phone sex with Nick, had flooded his body with feel-good endorphins, replacing the sadness from earlier in the day. 

On his last day with Tao and Elle, they had decided to go for lunch and to browse some thrift shops in the wealthy part of town together. Elle had an eye for fashion and she was really good at putting together stunning outfits for a bargain price. Charlie also loved going with her because she helped him find outfits to wear while he performed, LA thrift shops being the perfect place for a wide variety of small band t-shirts that were perfect for drummer Charlie. They went to lunch at a little cafe where they could sit outside and people watch. He had tried to broach the subject of what he might do in regards to Niles, but he found the conversation kept getting stuck in his throat and he had struggled to really articulate why he was concerned, or rather, why he didn’t know if and how he should address it. The best advice his friends could come up with, given the incomplete understanding they had of the situation, was for him to talk to his own parents and see what they would suggest.

All in all, the trip had been really good for Charlie. It had given him the chance to reconnect with his friends in a deeper way than he could on their weekly FaceTime calls. And it had given him a new perspective and motivation for solutions in the two areas that Charlie was struggling the most in. So when he boarded his plane Sunday morning to go home to Nick and his real life, he felt nothing but anticipation and even a bit of hope that he could help. 

It was cold and a light snow was falling (because, of course it was when it was nearly winter in the Pacific Northwest) when Charlie exited the baggage claim area of the airport, his eyes scanning for Nick’s blue Toyota and his tall, broad boyfriend. His face broke into a wide grin and he scurried quickly over to Nick, launching himself into his arms, grabbing his face for a passionate kiss, and then pulled slightly back and said breathlessly, “Hi…” Nick kissed him hard again before he whispered, “Hi…” against Charlie’s lips. They looked at each other another long moment and then Charlie stepped back to grab his suitcase and load it in the trunk of Nick’s car and climbed into the front seat next to Nick, happy to get out of the cold. The cold felt so much colder now that he had just returned from sunny, warm LA.

Nick drove them carefully home even though it was just a light dusting so far and they listened to Christmas music on the radio while they took turns telling each other more about their trips. While they had shared highlights throughout the weekend, those were mostly short texts and pictures so it was nice to properly talk about all they had done. The resounding conclusion they came to was that it had been really good to get away from their life stresses, even when that meant they didn’t spend the time together, but they were so happy to come home to the other, having really missed each other. 

“So Imogen expects to arrive home in about four hours. I’ve already gotten the apartment ready for her, so we have some time to ourselves before I go stay with the kids,” Nick informed him, glancing sideways at him as he drove, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on Charlie’s thigh.

“Well, Nicholas, whatever shall we do in those few hours we have?” Charlie asked innocently, tracing a finger along Nick’s hand in his lap. 

“I mean, I know what I want to do, but if you're not interested…” Nick responded suggestively, “I suppose I can just take care of myself.” 

Charlie laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m definitely interested…in whatever you have in mind.”

Nick grinned widely at him and Charlie beamed, he loved Nick so goddamn much. He couldn’t wait to get to his apartment and show him how much he had missed him, how much he loved him. The anticipation to make love to Nick made him breathless and his cock thickened uncomfortably in his jeans, causing him to shift in his seat to a better position. Which, of course, Nick noticed and tried to tease him about until Charlie peeked under Nick’s coat and saw he was in the same situation so they ended up just laughing about it together. By the time they arrived home and Nick hauled Charlie’s suitcase up the stairs for him, they were so keyed up, it was obvious to them both that neither would be lasting very long, which seemed a common situation for the two of them. Maybe, given enough time together, they would eventually last more than a few minutes, but this was unlikely to be the case today with their intense desire after being apart making them more like a couple of horny teenagers. 

They stumbled into the hallway, already on each other's lips, desperately ripping clothes from their bodies, only disconnecting when necessary to remove the offending garment. They were naked by the time they reached the doorways that led to either the bedroom or the bathroom and Charlie, feeling a bit grimy from the flight, broke the kiss to quickly question, “shower?” to which Nick nodded enthusiastically before reattaching his lips to Charlie’s. As soon as the water was warm enough, they stepped inside together, wrapped their bodies around each other, stroking, kissing, touching in any way possible, crying out their love for each other as they took each other apart and then held each other together when they were finished. 

After, when they were clean and thoroughly satisfied, Charlie went into the kitchen to boil water for tea. As much as he loved coffee most of the time, in the colder months, he really enjoyed a hot cup of English Breakfast while he cuddled on the couch under a fluffy blanket and read a book or watched TV. He pulled out his favorite tea mug (he required separate tea and coffee mugs because the flavor sometimes lingered and he could not handle that!) and plopped a tea bag into it before padding back to the bedroom to see if Nick wanted a cup as well. 

“Sure,” Nick said and followed Charlie to the small kitchen and prepared his own cup. “I don’t drink much tea usually, but if you like it, maybe it’ll grow on me.”

Tea cups in hand, they cuddled together on the couch, the thicker winter blanket covering their legs, and gazed out the window at the light snow that continued to fall.

“I love snow at Christmas time,” Nick said, “It makes it feel more magical somehow.”

Charlie nodded in agreement, “I like when everything turns white, it looks so clean and pure, somehow it makes me feel better about the future.”

They both sighed heavily at that, they still weren’t feeling very hopeful for the future at the moment. 

“Charlie…” Nick started talking and then paused, like he was deep in thought, making Charlie’s heart race that something was wrong. It must have shown on his face because Nick quickly reassured him everything was alright and he let out a sigh of relief.

“When I was in New York, I kept thinking about us. I missed you constantly, felt anxious to get home to you the entire time, even though I had an amazing time with Sean. And I realized when I was talking to him about us, that I…I want to always come home to you, Charlie,” Nick finished in a whisper, looking at Charlie like he was terrified he might not feel the same way.

“Oh my god, Nick…” Charlie said excitedly, “Are you asking to move in together?”

Nick gulped and nodded. “Would you…would you want to? I mean, for now, it would probably just need to be on the weeks I’m not at the house - I think we need to wait a bit longer for that part - but…” Nick took a deep breath, “what do you think?”

Charlie carefully put his own tea down on the coffee table, took Nick’s from his hands and set it down as well, and then crawled directly into Nick’s lap and kissed him heatedly, his fingers lightly scraping the back of Nick’s neck.

“Is that a yes?” Nick clarified, still sounding unsure.

“Yes, Nick! It’s a yes!” Charlie burst out before kissing Nick again. He trailed kisses down Nick’s jawline to his neck, until Charlie’s cheek rested on Nick’s chest and he lay there for a couple minutes, just taking in this new step. When his feet started to fall asleep from kneeling at an awkward angle, he moved back to his side of the couch and picked his tea up and took a long sip. 

“I mean, really, you basically live here when you’re not at the house anyways. So it’s not that big of a change. Just like, your stuff will be here now and you won’t have to shuffle around between three places all the time. What about Imogen? Have you talked to her yet?” Charlie questioned.

“No, not yet. I wanted to make sure you actually wanted to move in together before I did.”

Charlie thought about it for a couple of minutes before he spoke again, voicing his fears. “Do you think she’ll be mad?”

Nick shook his head quickly, “No I think she expects it, to be honest. Sean seemed to assume we’d move in soon as well.”

“OK, and the kids?” Charlie held his breath, knowing that if the kids didn’t approve, Nick wouldn’t want to move in together. And as much as he understood that, and believed Nick should consider their feelings, he also didn’t want to see Nick sacrificing his own happiness again. It felt terribly selfish of him to want Nick to choose him, not over his kids because he really didn’t want that , but rather, he wanted Nick to be able to choose his own happiness and have his kids want their papa to be happy as well. 

“I’m going to talk to them over the course of the coming week and see what they say. But Char, they absolutely adore you, especially Niles. I really don’t think any of them are going to be opposed to this. Plus, it's not like you are moving into the house with me yet so it won’t really affect them at all at this point.”

Charlie tried to hold his enthusiasm in, to take his time, but he just couldn’t. “Do you want that, Nick? Like, eventually are you wanting me to move into the house with you too?”

At that, Nick took a longer pause, clearly formulating his words in his head before he spoke. 

“I’m honestly not sure about that part, Charlie. It’s complicated, right? I don’t think…no, I know, I couldn’t have sex with you in the same bed I used to with Imogen. Or in the same bed where she sleeps every other week. That would just be…” Nick shuddered.

“Oh god, yeah, I didn’t think of that!” Charlie shuddered too, “God, that gives me the ick!”

“Right?…I think…if, or maybe, when?” he looked at Charlie hopefully, “when that time comes, it’d maybe be best if we had somewhere close by that we could rent, or buy even? That had enough space for the kids to switch houses at that point. I don’t think the whole, sharing-a-house thing, would work anymore if we wanted to live together all the time. I don’t know, what do you think?”

Charlie had only really contemplated the idea of moving in with Nick, the logistics hadn’t really crossed his mind too specifically because he hadn’t even been sure Nick would want to live together while his kids were still at home. He had been prepared to continue this arrangement for another six years until Heidi went to college. They’d also need to have a very important conversation about money which terrified him because he knew finances were often a breaking point for many couples. So, he figured the best thing to do was just be honest with Nick.

“Nick, I love you so much. And I really want to live with you, like all the time eventually, but to be honest, I didn’t know if you’d want to do anything permanent like that while the kids live at home, so I had, kind of, had it in mind that this might be our situation for like, six more years until Heidi graduates. I think…we should just take it one step at a time. First, you talk to the kids and see what they are feeling about it and then you have to decide what to do. And if they’re fine with it, and we move in together here on the weeks you aren’t at the house, that’s perfect. If we eventually want to make it an all-the-time thing, with me there on your weeks with them, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, OK?”

Charlie looked carefully at Nick, wanting to make sure he knew how desperately he wanted them to move in together, but also understood that it was a special situation that would need careful consideration of the feelings of all involved. 

Nick beamed at him, agreeing. “Good, I’ll talk to them this week.”

“And Imogen,” Charlie reminded him.

“Right. And Imogen.”

The mood lightened again as they finished their tea before Nick packed up his stuff to head home for the coming week. Given how busy work was right now and how exhausted it made him every night, Charlie didn’t really expect he’d see Nick much that week except for maybe one night to have dinner with the kids. Walking him to the door, Charlie kissed Nick repeatedly and clung to him, wishing they didn’t have to part again after just getting home. He knew a couple of days wasn’t that big of a deal, but in the wake of a step forward, he was feeling especially clingy and sappy. Nick kissed him one final time before he descended the steps and disappeared from view.

Charlie knew he usually only saw his parents on the weekend when they had brunch but given his mounting concerns about Niles, he decided it was better to try and talk to them sooner rather than later, in case later became too late. So he texted them both and asked if they’d like to go out to dinner one evening that week. Unsurprisingly, his dad responded first and said, yes, they would love that and they were free on Tuesday, did that work for Charlie? It did, and so he asked them to meet at the Mexican restaurant up the street from his office after work, because it was close and he knew the menu and what he liked to eat.

On Tuesday, Charlie was a bundle of nerves all day long. He struggled to focus on the task at hand at work: Tori had to come to his office to collect him for procedures and his hygienists had to remind him a second time when they needed exams, all very out of character for Charlie. Eating his breakfast and lunch felt like crawling through quicksand and the food sat like stones in his stomach afterwards. He didn’t really know why he was so nervous; he and his parents had a much better and more open relationship than they had had when he was younger. The combination of individual therapy and complete honesty between them had done wonders over recent years but this topic, Charlie’s own eating disorder and how they might recommend he talk to Nick about concerns he had for his son, felt like it had the capacity to be explosive if either party said the wrong thing. Charlie had been reminding himself in a loop in his head that he would need to stay calm, not jump to any conclusions like he had as a young person when he talked to his mom, and to speak clearly what he was asking from them.

He arrived at the restaurant five minutes before their agreed meeting time, and asked the host for a table for three, preferably as far from other patrons as possible, as the topic of conversation felt very private. Still, Charlie hadn’t wanted to deal with the pressure to rush home from work to prepare a meal for them at his apartment and he hadn’t really wanted to go to their house; a restaurant felt like a neutral ground. His parents arrived a couple of minutes later and they greeted each other warmly with hugs and rounds of “how are you?s” His dad was also still in his scrubs, meaning he had come directly from work as well. Although he was old enough to retire now, he enjoyed his work as a dermatologist too much to stop yet.

Once they were seated in a corner booth, they quickly perused the menu, and even though Charlie already knew what he would order, he went through the motions along with them. He sipped his water and picked at the freshly-made tortilla chips set in the middle of the table while they caught each other up on the latest in their lives. He told them about his trip to LA and how busy the practice was at the end of the year. They shared about their Thanksgiving with Olly, since Tori and Michael had been with Michael’s parents this year, and how Jane had missed seeing Ryan, and him, at the holiday. He assured her, they would all see each other on Christmas. By the time their meals arrived, Charlie had barely eaten two chips and he felt like he would explode if he didn't just get out what he had wanted to ask them about. Julio, ever the more perceptive of his parents, noticed and gently asked him what he had wanted to talk to them about.

Charlie took a deep cleansing breath, gathering his thoughts, before speaking. 

“It's about Nick’s son. I wanted to ask your advice about how I should express some concerns I have about him, without making Nick mad or having him become defensive,” Charlie blurted out in a rush. 

His parents glanced at each other, seeming to speak with their eyes, not even needing words to communicate after their long history together.

“OK…two things, I think. First, why did you think we were the ones to talk to about this? We barely know Nick. Secondly, your concerns. What are they?” Jane asked carefully.

“Oh right, I guess I should have said that in the first place, shouldn’t I?” Charlie chuckled, uneasily. “The answers actually kind of go together. I’m worried about him because I see a lot of the same patterns that I experienced as a teen.”

“Like, the bullying, you mean? Or eating?” Julio interrupted. 

“Eating,” Charlie clarified. “I think he’s really well liked at school actually. He has a lot of friends and he even runs the school Pride club. But…he’s really skinny, even though he obviously tries to hide it under his sweats. And, he eats really small portions, very slowly, and looks at the food like it wants to attack him. I’ve heard Nick need to remind him to eat lunch nearly every weekend that I’ve been there, and he’ll pace around the kitchen while he eats after taking a long time to even decide what to eat… I know Nick and Imogen are aware of it, at least to a degree, because I’ve noticed them glancing at his plate and each other, and looking worried…I just don’t think they’ve done anything about it and I’m getting worried that something might need to be done…I really don’t want to see him get as sick as I was…”

Charlie’s parents nodded and took a few bites of their own food, either thinking or waiting for Charlie to continue, he didn’t know which but he went on anyway.

“I want to talk to Nick about it, I want to ask what he thinks, and if they are thinking of seeking help for Niles…I just…don’t want to say the wrong thing or have him get defensive and mad at me. Or think it’s not my business, because I’m not actually Niles’ dad. And I hoped, since you guys had a kid in that situation at one time, you might be able to shed some light on the best way to approach it.”

Charlie took a deep breath and sighed, then finally picked up his own fork to try to eat a little, now that he had said what he needed to say.

“Charlie, I get why you feel like you need to say something. This is something really important to you, so important that it’s possible you are reading into it?” Jane asked.

Charlie shook his head vehemently, and reminded himself not to overreact. “No, I thought that at first, I forced myself to ignore it. But when Niles has said stuff to me when he comes for drum lessons at my place, like how eating makes him feel bad and that he’s afraid of some foods, I don’t think I'm making this up.”

Julio nodded. “OK, son, I agree. If you feel like it’s important then obviously you should say something. I think, from my perspective, the most important thing is that you just kind of lead Nick into seeing or acknowledging it himself? Like, with probing questions about things you've seen, especially since you said it looks like he is aware to some degree already…and then, if he still can’t see it, you might have to be more explicit with your words.”

“I also think you need to make sure to be clear that it’s not like some mistake he has made in parenting, or that you think he and Imogen are responsible for it. That would likely make him more defensive,” Jane added, “The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that it's all coming from your concern and care for his son. And that you love Nick and want to support him if they decide some intervention is necessary.”

Charlie nodded, thinking on their advice, mulling it over in his head. It lined up mostly with what he had been thinking himself but they made good points about making sure Nick didn’t think he was being critical of their parenting, and that he focused on his desire to be supportive. Charlie still had butterflies in his stomach at the thought of the conversation with Nick but he felt like his parents had helped and that made him realize how much they had grown over the years. That they could talk about eating disorders and parenting, without one of them blowing up, himself included. He thanked them profusely for their advice and they moved on to lighter topics again as they finished their meal.

When they stood to leave, Charlie having paid the bill, he hugged them both in turn, thanking them again for their advice and all the support they had given him over the years. Even when their relationship had been tumultuous, Charlie knew they did always have his best interests at heart, even if they struggled to show it, and he was mature enough now to admit that their fighting had never been only their fault - he had definitely contributed to it. (It's amazing what time and therapy can achieve.)  

Charlie went home feeling more settled about the prospect of this important conversation than he had felt about it since he had first started noticing the subtle hints of Niles struggling. He hoped that Niles wouldn’t need the kind of treatment he had had to have, but that instead therapy combined with some focused attention at home on healthy eating practices might be enough for him. Remembering how it had helped him be more clear with his parents about it when he was a teen, he decided to write down what he would want to say to Nick so that he could get it right. 

Once he was satisfied with it, he spent some more time contemplating the idea of moving in together permanently, and what that might look like. Of course, he’d have to talk to Nick about it, and they’d probably both need to talk to Imogen, but he hoped they could find a solution that worked for them. He wasn’t opposed to the idea of he and Nick trying to rent, or even buy, a house in the same neighborhood so that a lot of the reasons Imogen and Nick had originally come up with the house-sharing plan in the first place, would essentially be moot. Charlie knew he could afford either option, having lived alone in this tiny apartment for years, his dental school and car had been paid off for nearly a decade now, he had a significant amount in savings they could use for a down payment and his monthly salary could easily cover the mortgage. His excitement brewing over the idea, he resolved to talk to Nick about this too, soon. 

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick was so excited to spend the week following Thanksgiving with the kids. As much as he had missed Charlie, he had missed his kids while they were gone as well. Somehow it felt different to be away from them in different cities than when he knew they were just a few minutes away. He hugged them all tightly when he arrived home on Sunday evening, riding the high of sex and cuddly conversations with Charlie, before the reality hit that he had to go to work in the morning and his mini vacation was over. He quickly went to work on the laundry from the previous week, enlisting the kids' help to sort their own so it could start sooner. While they sorted together, they told Nick all about their trip to their auntie’s house in Portland and the fun they had had with their cousins. Nick nodded and laughed at all the right places, even though he still felt a little sting of annoyance that Imogen’s family blamed him for their divorce, no matter how many times Imogen had denied it. At least their own family knew the truth, which was really all that mattered.

Once the laundry was running, Nick orchestrated a rotation of showering times, since they couldn’t all go one after the other or they would run out of hot water. He debated talking to Heidi tonight about Charlie, but then realized he probably needed to talk to them all on the same day, otherwise they were going to gossip about it amongst themselves and he wouldn't be able to be the one to actually bring up the subject, which was important to him. Instead, he checked his email for any from school and reviewed his lesson plans for tomorrow, which would be a light fun day to ease the kids back in after a long weekend off. He and Niles had a quick chat about the GSA Christmas party they were planning and Nick tried to get Niles to open up more about the boy he had a crush on, but he was remaining tight-lipped, which Nick tried very hard to respect, even though he was dying to know. 

It was late by the time everyone had showered and most of the laundry was done - he’d resigned himself that a couple of loads would have to be done tomorrow - and he had crawled into bed exhausted, already dreading the early morning wake up routine. Pulling out his phone, he smiled at the notifications that Sean and Charlie had both posted new stories he was tagged in. Sean had posted pictures of their weekend together out in NYC, his favorite was one of them huddled together in front of the Rockefeller tree. Charlie had posted photos of his time in LA, with the final being a selfie they had taken quickly at the airport of them kissing when Nick picked Charlie up and he had captioned it: ‘Was great to see my oldest friends in LA, but even better to come home to my man’.

Nick’s heart melted a little, a wide grin lighting up his face, he loved Charlie so much. Not able to stand it anymore, he opened his text chain with him.

Nick [10:45] : ‘Char, I’ve just spent the evening hanging out with the kids and doing laundry. Prepared for tomorrow at work. I wish I was with you right now…I love you so much, baby. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with you’ 🥰

As he swiped out of his messages with Charlie, the one his mom had sent him brought him back to the reality that he still needed to deal with it. He clicked on the message to read it once more and sighed as he tried to formulate the correct response. Finally, he figured out what he wanted to say and typed a quick message back to her.

Mom [6:45] : ‘Nicky, dear, I’m here at David’s for Thanksgiving and we’ve been talking about Christmas. It’s been ages since both your families came to the lake at the same time, especially for Christmas, and I’d really like to do that this year. David and Jess say they are happy to come so I’m hoping you and the kids will come too. It would mean a lot to me, to have both of my boys and all my grandkids together for Christmas this year. You never know how many Christmases I have left. What do you think?’

Nick [10:55] : ‘Mom, I can appreciate that you would like to have a family Christmas with us at your place. However, the kids and I do not feel comfortable, even safe, to be in the same space with David and the homophobia he stands behind. The “work” he is doing is harmful to our community and I just can’t stomach seeing him, especially to celebrate a holiday.’

Mom [10:57] : ‘I couldn’t sleep so I was still up to get this text. Oh Nicky, don’t you think you two can try to work it out? Is there nothing that could be done?’

Nick [10:59] : ‘I don’t see how Mom. I mean, he literally said in that video that we are going to hell and trans people are against God’s nature. I just don’t see how I can feel safe with him. Or the kids. I don’t think I should have to ask them to do that to themselves, even for you, Mom. You know I love you, but that wouldn’t be fair.’

Mom [11:06] : ‘I guess I can see what you mean. OK, I’ll tell him we have to arrange something else.’

Nick [11:08] : ‘Thanks Mom. Going to bed now. Love you.’

He swiped out of their messages and back to Sean’s Insta story, sending him a quick message saying how much fun he had with him and how much he loved him. Then he navigated to the time app to make sure his alarm was set and curled up with Daisy to sleep.

The week felt a bit tortuous if Nick was honest. It was hard to get into the swing of working. He was still feeling jet lagged - even though he’d only been gone a few days - and the weather was that miserable cold rain where it’s only a little bit too warm to rain instead of snow, but feels colder than if it was snowing. He hadn’t seen Charlie at all because he was too busy at the office and Nick had a lot to do himself. Since he wouldn’t be at the house that weekend, he wanted to get the outdoor Christmas lights up on the house , which left him with fucking frozen fingers, but the multi-colored twinkling gave the house a warm Christmasy glow. He knew Imogen liked to decorate the tree herself but it was pretty tall and heavy so he and Matt set it up for her to do with the kids next week. He really wanted to start Christmas baking with the kids, but the school nights were just too stressful for that so he had decided he would have to wait until his next weekend with them. 

By the time Thursday rolled around, he hadn’t had the conversations he had wanted to have with them individually so he just decided to rip off the bandaid and talk to them all at once. After school, when everyone was home, Nick made a pot of hot chocolate and opened a package of store bought Christmas cookies ( 🤢 ) in preparation. He went to the hallway where their bedrooms were and asked them all to come to the living room so he could talk to them about something. Apparently, he had been a bit too somber about it because they all walked in looking petrified of what he was going to say. He quickly assured them everything was fine (I’ve got to work on how I bring up stuff, I keep freaking everyone out) and they each chose a Christmas mug and sat on the couches to talk.

“So, you guys, I’m wanting to talk to you about something to do with Charlie,” he began.

“Papa! Oh my god! Are you guys getting married?!?!?” Heidi interrupted excitedly. 

Nick chuckled and shook his head, glad she had seemed so excited by the prospect.

“No sweetheart, we’re not getting married…at least, not right now. But, we are hoping to start living together, at least on Mom’s weeks with you…and I guess, I’m wondering how you all feel about that?” Nick asked carefully, his breath caught in his throat, worried about their answers.

They all looked at each other, their eyebrows furrowing together, three wrinkle lines appearing in the center, an identical look of confusion on all their faces.

“Uh Papa,” Matt said slowly, “Um, we thought you were already living with Charlie at his apartment. Like, we’ve thought that since the summer after the camping trip…are you not living together?”

Nick shook his head. “I mean, not officially. Yeah, I do stay there most of the nights I’m not here but I still technically share the apartment with Mom… Wait!!!” Nick burst out, “You guys have been thinking I was living with my boyfriend without having discussed it with you? I’m so sorry! That was never my intention!”

“Papa, it’s fine. I don't think it’s like, bothered any of us…you’ve been so happy, so yeah, we just assumed,” Niles assured him.

“And…you guys are OK with it? You aren’t upset about me living with him?”

“I’m not upset, I love Charlie!” Heidi enthused, taking another cookie, a chocolate mustache over her upper lip from the cocoa.

“Same.” “Same.” Matt and Niles said at the same time, laughing.

Nick blew out a relieved breath. “Well, that’s good then. I guess this wasn’t news to you or as big of a deal as I worried it would be.”

“Papa?” Niles asked.

“Yeah?”

“Will you and Charlie ever live together here with us?” 

At that question, Heidi and Matt also looked at him, the three of them waiting expectantly on his answer. He took a few moments to think before he spoke. 

“Well, that’s something he and I are talking about, but we’ll need to talk to Mom too, because it’s something that affects all of us. Ummm, how would you feel if Charlie and I lived together with you guys, on my week with you?” Nick chewed his lip. He really should be having a conversation with Imogen about this first, but because they asked, he didn’t want to deflect and make them worry so he felt he should at least discuss it a little bit with them.

“I think it’d be nice to have him here with us, he comes over a lot when you’re here anyways,” Matt said. 

“I mean, guys, that’s the only thing about that part. We wouldn’t live here together, that would be too awkward for all of us. If we move in together, like all the time, we would probably get our own house nearby, and you would come to us there on my week…” at their nervous glances he rushed to assure them, “we haven't decided anything yet and it definitely wouldn’t be during this school year. There would be a lot to work out before that happened, OK?”

None of them said anything, just focused on their hot chocolate for a couple of minutes. 

“I am going to talk to Mom about this all tomorrow, OK? And then probably we, Charlie included, would have another discussion before anything changes. I don’t want you to worry, or think you may have to switch houses all the time soon. It’s still a ways away, alright?” Nick reached over to touch them on their knees, reassuring them he wasn’t planning to uproot their lives the next day.

They nodded, and ate their cookies and finished their hot chocolate. Nick asked if they had any other questions and they said they didn’t, but as they got up to go back to their rooms Matt said, “It would be weird if we had two houses to live in, but we’d get used to it, as long as we still have you and Mom. And you’d have Charlie too, which makes us all happy. So Papa, don’t feel bad to do the thing that makes you happy, because that makes us all happy.” 

Nick’s eyes welled up in tears and he swiped at the ones that fell before he could stop them. He stood, and wrapped his arms around them, squeezing them tight, and then planted a quick kiss on each of their heads as they headed off to their rooms. He slumped onto the couch and heaved a relieved sigh, before pulling out his phone to text Charlie how the conversation had gone. 

Unsurprisingly, the conversation with Imogen the next day went just as well as the one with the kids, although she hadn’t thought he was already living there. She had similar questions about Charlie moving in on the other weeks as well, trepidation in her eyes at the thought of the three of them sharing this house. He assured her that, no, another living arrangement would have to be created, saying he and Charlie would likely get a place where everyone could fit, and, he hoped, they would trade weeks still like many other divorced couples did. He promised that was months away though, at this point they were just living together when Nick wasn't with the kids. Imogen, ever the practical one, asked about the financing of the rents, startling Nick because he hadn’t even thought of that particular detail yet. (I better talk to Charlie about that…) He promised her he would discuss it with Charlie and then proposed the three of them should have another chat again soon, which she immediately agreed was a good idea. They ended their talk with a hug and wishes for a good week, and Nick drove home to Charlie.

Though the week after Thanksgiving had challenged Nick’s normally easy going nature, his entire outlook had improved when he had talked to the kids on Thursday, and Imogen on Friday, about moving in with Charlie. Their acceptance of it without hesitation overwhelmed Nick, knowing it meant he could do this thing that made him so happy and not have to sacrifice anything of himself. In the past, it had always felt like he had to try to make everyone else happy first, before his wants or needs could be addressed. Maybe every parent felt like that with their kids, he suspected they did, but he knew that wasn’t how it was supposed to be with your significant other, your partner. With Charlie, it felt like they were constantly fulfilling each other’s needs, just by being themselves. Charlie was, as cliche as it sounded, everything Nick never knew he needed but had been missing all along. 

He was sitting in his car in Charlie’s parking lot, thinking these things, his heart so full, he could scarcely move to get out and climb the stairs to Charlie, his Charlie. He took a deep breath, heart thrumming with anticipation to tell him it was official, they were moving in together, and then make love to Charlie in their apartment. Even the freezing rain didn’t bother him as he hurried to their door, knocking gently as he let himself in. He toed off his Vans next to Charlie’s Converse, grinning at the thought of them sitting like that in their hallway, and made his way through the apartment to their bedroom, where he deposited his backpack for the night, planning to pick up the rest over the weekend. 

“Charlie?” he called, not finding him in the bedroom, listening for the sound of the TV or music from the living room but heard the sound of the shower running instead. His heart rate kicked up suddenly and his dick twitched in his jeans, excitement coursing through him, hoping Charlie was showering for the reason he hoped he was. Before he let himself get too excited, he had to be sure though, years of rejection after anticipation had left him scarred. 

He tiptoed over to the bathroom and slightly pushed the door open and called out again, “Charlie?”

Something clattered in the shower and Charlie squealed, “Nick! Oh my god, you scared me! I thought you’d be a bit longer since you had to talk to Imogen. Did it go alright?”

“Yeah Char, it did. So good, that’s how I got here so fast.”

“Oh, darling, I’m so glad…ummm, I just need…a bit more time to finish in here OK?” Charlie stumbled over his words.

“Charlie, please tell me you are prepping for me…” Nick’s voice begged, raspy and deep.

Charlie whimpered and slid the glass door open just enough to pop his head out to look at Nick, eyes blown black, and nodded.

“Fuck, Charlie…” Nick breathed, heart racing now. 

“That's the idea,” Charlie said with a wink, closing the door and leaving Nick breathless in expectation.  

Nick’s jeans were suddenly way too tight, thoughts of what Charlie was doing in the shower causing him to harden ridiculously fast. To give him time without feeling the pressure of Nick waiting, he went into their bedroom, folded the blankets back on the bed, retrieved the lube from the drawer next to the bed and set it on the little table. He went to the kitchen and filled glasses of water for them, knowing Charlie was always thirsty afterwards, and placed those on the other side table. He even lit a candle on the dresser, loving the look of the flickering amber light, imagining it reflecting on Charlie’s body. He shucked his jeans into the laundry basket before he climbed onto the bed, sitting with his back against the headboard to wait (impatiently) for Charlie, stroking himself through his boxers occasionally.

Even though they’d been having sex for months, Nick was just as excited as the first time, only less nervous now. With Imogen, Nick had always held himself, and his arousal, back when they were having sex, desperate to show her he loved her and make her come. When he was so often rebuffed or encouraged to “just finish yourself”, he had felt like such a failure, a burning shame causing him to struggle for his own release. With Charlie, however, their desire for each other’s mutual pleasure was equally matched, leaving Nick to feel free to be uninhibited when he made love to Charlie. 

After what seemed like ages, Nick heard the shower turn off and his anticipation heightened, imagining Charlie naked, dripping wet, gently rubbing himself dry, squeezing his curls into a towel. He kept his eyes trained on the doorway, not wanting to miss a second of the gorgeous sight of Charlie when he came to him. He was not disappointed.

Charlie stood in the doorway, fluffy towel wrapped around his waist, one arm propped on the door frame, the other resting lightly on his hip, and stared at Nick. Nick’s breath began to come quicker, his cock hardening and twitching in his boxers.

“Hi,” Charlie breathed.

“Hi yourself,” Nick whispered. “Please, come here.”

Charlie walked slowly over to his side of the bed, eyes never leaving Nick’s, and slowly crawled up to him, leaning over to kiss him from his hands and knees before pulling himself more upright into his boyfriend’s lap, settling himself across Nick with a contented sigh. He couldn't keep his hands to himself any longer and wrapped one hand into Charlie’s curls and rested the other on his hip, lightly stroking there while he brought Charlie’s lips back to his. They kissed slowly but with such loving attention that it was setting Nick on fire. The feel of Charlie’s lips under his sent tingles racing down his spine and he felt restless inside. 

Charlie broke from his lips to pepper kisses across his cheek until his tongue and teeth connected with Nick’s ear and Nick jolted at the sensation it sent straight to his cock. 

“Fuck Charlie, the way you do that…”

Charlie giggled softly, his breath tickling Nick’s ear, sending more shock waves through him. It felt like everything Charlie was doing to him tonight was creating new sensations, lighting him up. Nick turned his head to capture Charlie’s lips against his own again, tracing them with his tongue and gently probing his way inside. Their kisses grew more heated, less tender but still loving. Charlie moaned softly into his mouth and released him with a gasp. He made his way down Nick’s neck to his shoulders, lightly nipping him with his teeth before kissing gently over the same spot.

Nick’s hands were slowly roaming across Charlie’s back as Charlie kissed his way down Nick’s chest to tease his nipples with his tongue, flicking over them quickly before taking one into his mouth and Nick whimpered “Charlie”, panting in little breaths to contain the pleasure inside him. When Charlie moved to the other one, Nick reached around his waist to unhook the towel still wrapped around him, tossing it to the side, and gripped firmly on his hip, his thumb stroking closer and closer to Charlie’s cock but then Charlie pulled back and met his eyes. In their intense blue, now mostly black, Nick saw the fire he felt inside reflected back at him as they stared at each other and whispered simultaneously, “I love you.”

Their lips crashed together then, the slow burning passion taking over into a raging wildfire that threatened to consume them quickly. Nick slid down the bed, pulling Charlie to lay next to him, slotting his knee between Charlie’s and pressing himself into Charlie’s cock, gasping at the sensation. Charlie’s hands dragged down his back and into his boxers, cupping his ass firmly and sliding over his hips and down his legs, pulling the offensive fabric out of the way as he continued his way down Nick’s legs. 

“Oh god, Charlie…” Nick moaned, sensing where Charlie was heading, and shivered with excitement. Charlie trailed his fingertips along the inside of Nick’s thigh until they gently grasped his balls and Nick shifted into him, silently begging Charlie to take hold of him. His breaths came in short little rasps of air as Charlie took his base in the other hand and then licked the remaining length to the tip, where he sucked and swirled, his hands moving in tandem with his tongue, the sensations completely overwhelming Nick. (God, Charlie was just so good at this…)

After a few minutes, Nick was afraid he was going to come and didn’t want it to end like this; he wanted to be inside Charlie tonight, so he pulled his hips backward slightly and tapped Charlie on the shoulder, pulling him up to kiss him again. 

“That was so amazing, baby, you always know exactly what I like,” Nick said brokenly against Charlie’s lips. He felt Charlie smile as he kissed him, the desperation calming momentarily while they caught their breaths to prolong the experience. 

Nick carefully rolled himself on top of Charlie as they kissed, their lengths brushing against each other which sent sparks flying inside of Nick again, in awe of how completely Charlie consumed him. He rolled his hips against Charlie’s a few more times before he too, made his way down Charlie’s body, leaving kisses in his wake, and hungrily took Charlie in his mouth. The velvety smoothness of him, the heady scent emanating from him, the soft whimpers Charlie was making overpowered all of Nick’s senses, his mind thinking (Charlie, Charlie, Charlie) , until he felt himself on the brink again, just from the joy of giving him pleasure. He paused his movements, his head resting softly on Charlie’s inner thigh, and calmed his breathing, focusing on not coming yet. 

When he felt more in control, he took a deep breath and kneeled low in front of Charlie,  practically laying down on his stomach, then gently lifted each of Charlie’s knees over his shoulders. Nick placed his hands under Charlie’s bum, raising it slightly in the air, and placed mini tentative kisses from Charlie’s taint to his hole. He hadn’t even been sure if this was something he would ever want to do, but now, in the moment, it was all he could think about. Feeling unsure, he softly asked, “This OK?”, peeking up at Charlie lying above him. At Charlie’s nod, he returned his attention to his previous work, eagerly placing kisses all over, his tongue occasionally timidly poking out to tease Charlie, making him gasp and whimper and cry out, “Fuck, Nick!”

Nick sensed they were both on the verge of coming again so he reached over to the lube and slowly massaged his way inside Charlie, circling and stroking with one, then two, and finally three fingers until Charlie was practically begging him to get inside. Despite the frequency of their lovemaking, Nick still feared he would finish too fast after they'd been edging each other and he really wanted to make it last for Charlie, he wanted to take his time making love to him. He took a few cleansing breaths and laid on his back, his head on the pillows, and pulled Charlie over him. He wanted Charlie to take control of it this time, to take from Nick what he needed from him, and he softly told Charlie that as he guided him to sink slowly onto Nick.

When Charlie had taken him fully in, he’d thrown his head back and groaned loudly, prompting Nick to repeat the sound and rasp out, “Jesus Christ Charlie, you’re so tight…god, can’t believe how much I love you, love making you feel good.”

Charlie leaned into him, hands gripping the headboard behind Nick, and kissed him desperately, inching himself up until Nick almost came out before sliding back down him. They continued kissing while Charlie slowly built up a rhythm, Nick caressing from Charlie’s hips to his ass and back as he moved. Eventually, they couldn’t keep the contact any longer, the pace speeding up, their breaths panting and groaning, hands frantically moving along their chests and backs. Nick could hear it in Charlie’s sounds when he was almost there and he wrapped one hand firmly around to stroke his cock, the other around his back and pulled him down for a breathless kiss. He held him there, stroking him and lifting himself into Charlie until he felt him tighten in his hand and around him, heard him whimpering endearments against Nick’s lips as he exploded into Nick’s hand. Nick gripped him tighter, thrust into him a couple more times before he came with a cry, Charlie’s lips capturing his noises. 

They stayed locked around each other until their breathing evened back out and Charlie sat up straighter, to reach for the box of tissues next to the bed, to wipe Nick’s chest clean and the cum that slowly leaked back out of Charlie, Nick kissing him wherever he could reach when Charlie gingerly climbed off him. 

“Ugh, I’m not nearly as graceful or flexible as I used to be…” Charlie complained with a laugh, going over to the dresser to retrieve fresh underwear and pajamas. 

Nick pushed himself to sit, slid over to the edge of the bed and stood up to get his own pajamas, his knees crackling when he did. He grimaced, “Neither I am. Why is getting old so terrible?” He struggled to get into his underwear and sleep pants, still feeling like his legs were like jelly from the mind-blowing orgasm he’d just had, and pushed his arms into his long sleeve shirt. 

Charlie came over to him and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a quick peck. “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”

“Sap.”

“Takes one to know one,” Charlie shot back.

“Fine, you win,” Nick said, giving him another quick peck. 

“So.. dinner and a movie?”

Nick had planned spaghetti and salad for dinner, knowing it was an easy and safe meal for Charlie to eat, because, despite the endorphins still flowing through his body from their lovemaking, he was still quite nervous to talk to Charlie about Niles. Charlie asked Nick if he would make the pasta, while he prepared the salad, so he could choose and prepare the vegetables like he preferred. They worked in tandem, Nick quickly telling Charlie about his conversation with Imogen and how comfortable it had been to talk to her, even when the situation could have been fraught with tension. Nick drew a deep breath as he stood facing the stove, stirring the pot of noodles and then the sauce, his back to Charlie, who was chopping tomatoes at the counter top adjacent to the stovetop, preparing for possibly another emotional conversation. 

Nick cleared his throat and said tentatively, “Charlie?”

“Yeah babe?”

“Spaghetti is one of your safe foods right?”

Charlie turned towards him, bumping his hip for him to look at him. “Uh, yeah, why?”

“Just…I needed to talk to you about something, like, food-related, and I wanted to make sure we had something that was easy for you to eat, in case what I told you was triggering in any way?” Nick felt like his tongue was two sizes too big, like he couldn’t form words properly, he was so nervous of upsetting Charlie.

Charlie nodded slowly, his eyes looking off to the side, “I kind of have something food-related to talk to you about too…” he said, “but let’s finish preparing this so we can try to eat while we talk?” 

He turned back to the chopping and Nick saw his shoulders rise and fall heavily. Nick’s own nerves increased as he saw how Charlie reacted, the real possibility of triggering an episode for him seeming more plausible. He stirred the noodles again and took one out to test it, and, finding it just right, he grabbed the strainer, poured the excess water out and placed the pot on the hot pad Charlie had set on the counter for it, doing the same with the sauce. By unspoken agreement, they each selected their own plates and silverware and served themselves. After setting his food at the table, Charlie poured each of them a glass of red wine, leaving the wine in the center of the round table, in case they wanted to top off during the meal. 

Once they were both sitting down, Nick started again, before he lost his nerve. 

“Babe, I've been avoiding talking to you about this for a while, because I didn’t want it to upset you,” Charlie nodded slightly, encouraging him to go on. “Well, it's about Niles. I’m not sure if you've noticed, but he definitely has some issues with food, possibly similar to what you went through? He's below weight and he struggles to eat lots of different kinds of foods and really has a hard time trying to eat larger portions. We've noticed it for a while, like for a few years actually, but it seems like it’s gotten worse this past year? He forgets to eat, has to be reminded most of the time and it seems like, from a couple of comments he’s made, eating makes him feel bad sometimes?”

Nick felt his eyes well up, his desire to take away this hardship from his son making him want to cry. No parent wants to see their child suffering, especially when it feels like you don’t know the solution. 

“Imogen and I have been talking about it more seriously for about a month, paying extra attention to how he interacts with food and trying to get him to open up to us about it. I think, we think, we are going to start taking him to counseling? To a counselor who specializes in teens with disordered eating? We just…don’t want to act like this isn’t happening and for him to get worse; we are hoping, maybe we can get him support before it gets really bad?”

Nick stared at Charlie, concerned his words might have been wrong, or hurt Charlie in some way. However, he felt like this was so important in the life of one of his kids, so he needed to be able to share his fears with him. Charlie put down his fork and reached his hand to entwine his fingers with Nick’s, squeezing gently and gave him a teary smile.

“Nick, thank you for telling me this. I appreciate you being concerned about me but I promise, I’m OK. I’m so glad, actually, that you and Imogen both noticed on your own because I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it for a couple of weeks, but didn’t know how to without overstepping. I was going to bring it up this week sometime, to be honest. I even had dinner with my parents to ask their advice,” Charlie explained, his thumb tracing a path across Nick’s knuckle. 

Nick sighed, so relieved his son’s struggles were not going to trigger Charlie further, and grateful that Charlie was so aware of his family, he had noticed something like this even when he wasn’t there very often.

“Um, Char?” Charlie made a humming noise while he started eating again. “Do you know of any good therapists we can call? Maybe at the same practice as Geoff used to work at?”

“Yeah, I actually do. I was going to give you guys the name of the practice when I brought it up to you. Do you think, I mean…do you think outpatient care is sufficient for him?” Charlie asked nervously.

Nick nodded, “We do, I think. At least initially, unless his therapist would say otherwise. From what we can tell, it’s not like, controlling his life or anything. More like, he just forgets or doesn't like to eat, which seems likely to be stress related. The only time he really seems to, like, actively not want to eat, is when he’s really stressed or there are a lot of strong emotions about something going on, like on election night. Most of the time, it seems to be more ADHD-related, like he’s too focused on something he forgets or doesn’t want to stop, and he has some strong food aversions.”

“That tracks with what I’ve seen,” Charlie agreed. “The thing that concerned me the most, was once when he was at my house drumming, and I offered him a snack and he kind of made some off-handed comment about eating making him feel bad. He didn’t say what he meant by “bad”, and again, I didn’t want to overstep, or read something into it because of my own history. But the thought of eating shouldn’t make him feel bad. So I think, I hope, therapy could help with that.”

Nick smiled gently at Charlie, “Me too. Thanks for being such a good listener, and for caring about my son so much.” 

Charlie hesitated before saying, “Nick, I really, really like your kids; not just because they’re yours - though that does help - but because they are amazing people. I’m so lucky to know them.”

Nick leaned over and gave Charlie a soft kiss, tears clouding his vision, before he sat back in his chair and hurried to finish his dinner, before it got even colder than it already was. They finished their meal in soft conversation, both seeming relieved that their worries revolving around broaching the topic were unrealized, reminding them they could, and should, always talk to each other about everything, even if it was scary. 

Rounding out the evening, they cuddled on the couch under warm blankets with cups of hot chocolate and watched The Holiday , one of Nick’s favorite romantic Christmas movies. As he kissed the top of Charlie’s head, the soft curls tickling his lips, he sighed with how content he was, how much love was overflowing in his heart for the people he surrounded himself with and how much expectation he felt for his future.

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie could hardly believe it was already a week into December, which meant he and Nick had known each other for nine months. If you had told Charlie a year ago, he would meet the man of his dreams, fall in love, and be moving in with him, he wouldn’t have believed you. Last December, he and Isaac had sat down to go over the final details of their office Christmas party before work, like they were doing right now, and Charlie had been quite sad he didn’t have a partner to take to the party. He and Isaac had worn matching Christmas sweaters and declared themselves the best couple there but it wasn’t the same. This year, he will have a date. 

So will Isaac. After Nick had told Charlie months ago about Imogen being asexual, he had suggested she may benefit from the ace friend group Isaac was a part of and the two of them had hit it off and she had basically become Isaac’s second best friend. It made Charlie so happy to know Isaac had someone who could understand his life outlook better than he could, and he was pleased for Imogen that she had made connections which helped her feel more secure about herself. Thankfully, Nick and Imogen had remained good friends and any awkwardness around them being able to hang out together had long since passed. 

“OK, so the plan is: Friday is the Christmas party. Partners are invited. Dinner at 6pm at Twigs, meal and drinks paid for by you. Secret Santa gift exchange at the dinner. Cosmic bowling from 8pm-10pm. Does that sound good?” Isaac stated to wrap up their discussion.

Charlie agreed, “That sounds perfect. Everyone has already drawn for Secret Santa right? And since the party is in 5 days, I hope everyone is free. I’ve been so scatterbrained with everything with Nick and his kids and him moving in this weekend, I’ve been a bit of shit boss when it comes to this.”

“Charlie, don’t worry about it. We’ve had the Christmas party on the office calendar since July, it was just the details we were missing out on. Everyone knows it’s Friday and we all plan to be there,” Isaac headed back towards his desk to print a little flyer about it for the break room, “Don’t forget to process everyone’s Christmas bonuses!” he said with a laugh. 

“Wait! Are we doing ugly Christmas sweaters again this year?” 

Isaac peaked around the doorway back into his office. “Yeah, I think we should. It makes it more fun, and more obvious we are at an office party if we’re all dressed the same.”

Charlie nodded, “OK, I better tell Nick in case he needs to buy one.”

“If so, tell him the thrift stores are great places to find them,” Isaac said helpfully.

“Somehow, knowing Nick and his enthusiasm for Christmas, I have a feeling he already has one, or several,” Charlie said with a laugh. 

Nick’s golden retriever-like energy clearly took over in regards to the holiday. Not only had he decorated his entire house with Christmas lights, he strung a set on Charlie’s balcony as well. He hadn’t been satisfied with Charlie’s counter top Christmas tree and had insisted they pick a real tree for the corner of their small living room. They had even bought a new set of ornaments to decorate it with because Charlie didn’t have enough that matched, which was apparently really important for Nick when it came to Christmas. All of this had been accomplished over the weekend once Nick had moved the remainder of his personal possessions into Charlie’s tiny one bedroom apartment and it suddenly felt a lot smaller and more cramped than he was used to. 

Since their decision to move in together, and Nick casually mentioning wanting a place of their own eventually, Charlie hadn’t stopped thinking about it. What it would be like to own a house of his own, of their own. For Nick to be able to have his own garden and Charlie to have a small office/library, maybe a pet of their own. His mind was spinning with the possibilities, so much so that he had even downloaded a couple of the real estate apps on his phone, and started researching for who the best mortgage broker would be. Charlie knew he was getting ahead of himself but the tiny thought had grown into an even bigger dream and now, with Nick’s stuff filling the space, he was starting to feel like it might be a necessity soon. 

Needing to stop daydreaming so he could get on with the work day, he picked up his phone and swiped to his message thread with Nick. 

Charlie [7:25] : ‘Babe, just a quick reminder. We have our office Christmas party on Friday and we’re supposed to wear ugly Christmas sweaters. I already have one from last year, do you? Will you need to get one? Isaac suggests a thrift store, if you do.’

Nick [7:45] : ‘Don’t have time to chat, kids arriving into class soon. Yes, I do have a sweater, somewhere. Will find. Gotta go, love you 😚’

Charlie giggled a little at Nick’s short and sweet text, imagining him running his hand through his hair in stress while hurrying to have his classroom ready for the day. 

Speaking of being ready for the day, Charlie stood up from his desk and went to set up the sterile room, realizing he was pushing it timewise before his first patient arrived. Tori was also scurrying about getting their instruments ready and Rachel and Melissa were evaluating patient charts for the day. They came together for a quick morning huddle, talked through the day’s schedule and Isaac gave a rundown of the Christmas party for Friday. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief when everyone said they could come and felt a stir of excitement to have a fun evening with his staff and their partners.

The day that followed was a typical busy day, with lots of crown preps as his patients scrambled to use their insurance benefits before the end of the year. Charlie used his very little down time to start researching what to get for the many people in his life for Christmas. Gift giving was not his speciality, he often ended up giving gift cards as a last resort because he just wasn’t a very sentimental person. Nick’s birthday gift to him, now hanging in his waiting room, intimidated him about Nick’s expectations regarding gifts. He had half a mind to buy them a house for Christmas, but he reigned in that crazy thought, knowing it was a terrible idea. 

By the end of the day, he had only managed to come up with a joint pedicure appointment for himself and Heidi, tickets to another Mariners game for Ryan and Matt, and a restaurant gift card for his parents. He’d drawn Isaac for the Secret Santa but that was easy, he had a long TBR on Amazon he could order from. He wanted to think of something special for Tori and Michael, as well as Niles, and Nick. Nick, he really wanted to spoil. He thought about it as he walked home through the powdery snow falling, grateful for his warm snow boots, listening to Christmas music in his earbuds. He was more in the Christmas spirit this year than in any of recent memory and that could only be because of Nick.

When Charlie arrived home, his green winter coat and black knit beanie covered in snow, he unlocked the door, calling out to Nick that he was home. He could smell the stir fry sauteing in the kitchen, Nick having seamlessly adapted to his eating plan, especially on busy stressful days. Charlie stomped all the snow off his boots just outside the door, and hung his wet outer garments on the entryway hooks. He slipped his feet into his cozy slippers and padded into the apartment, searching for Nick.

He found Nick slumped over the table, his phone in his hand, shoulders shaking gently. Charlie immediately rushed to him, kneeling next to his chair and wrapped his arms around him, ignoring the fact he hadn’t showered yet. 

“Nick, baby, what’s wrong?’

Nick just sniffled and shook his head, releasing a deep shuddering sigh. 

The smell of burning filled Charlie’s nose and he quickly stood to remove the vegetables from the heat, stirring them to prevent them sticking to the pan any more, and went back to sit at the table by Nick, hands covering his. 

“Seriously baby. Is it Niles? Is someone hurt?” Charlie felt a panic settling around his heart. 

“No, it’s nothing like that…I’m just being a baby and I’m so fucking angry right now it’s making me cry,” Nick huffed out, Charlie hearing the anger this time. 

“Ah, OK. And what are you angry about, darling?” Charlie tried to sound soothing.

“It’s my fucking brother again. I had finally responded to Mom when I got back from New York, telling her we couldn’t do Christmas because David is, well, David. And that we don’t feel safe around him and shouldn't have to spend a holiday with him if that's how we feel. And she had said that was alright, she’d figure something else out.”

Charlie nodded, this all sounded good, he was confused where the anger came in.

“But then, she just couldn’t let it go, I guess. She called David, told him he should apologize so we could try to move on. Which, I guess, I get her wanting us to be OK, we are her kids so it has to be hard to be trapped between us but…no, this wasn’t OK. And then, David sent me this video in which he basically blamed me for this ‘disagreement’. That my ‘wokeness’ is making me unable to not make a big deal out of nothing. He thought we could just put it aside and not talk about it, act like it doesn’t exist. He was even mean about you, Char.”

Nick looked up at him then, his eyes red-rimmed and sad, with flashes of anger underneath. “I just, I don’t know what to do about this. I don’t know how to respond.”

Charlie leaned over and gave him a quick kiss and stood to finish the dinner that had been abandoned, continuing the conversation as he did so. 

“You could…send him a video back? Or maybe a letter? Sometimes it helps to write things down so you can really think about what you want to say,” Charlie suggested.

The loud sound of the steam releasing from the Instapot with the rice startled them both; they looked at each other and giggled. Nick stood also and wrapped himself around Charlie from behind, nuzzling his face into Charlie’s neck. Charlie tilted away and sighed, “Nick, what are you doing? I haven’t showered yet…”

“I’m just…recharging. I’ve missed you and have been spiraling about this for about two hours and then you walk in and just calm me down somehow. Besides, we can just take a shower together now, if you like. The food can stay warm in the Instapot.”

Charlie gasped as Nick threaded his fingers through his hair, and used his grip there to turn Charlie’s head towards him so he could capture his lips with a kiss. Charlie whimpered a little into it and promptly broke the kiss, grabbed the veggies, poured them into the pot with the rice, secured the lid to keep warm, before grabbing Nick roughly by the front of his shirt. He pulled him against his chest, kissing him feverishly, and walked backward towards the bathroom, slamming the door on their way in. 

They took care of each other in the shower, in equal parts passion and care. When they were finished, clean and satisfied, they came back to the kitchen for dinner. They talked about what Nick might say in a letter to his brother, what his kids would want said, what Imogen would consider important. When they finished eating, Nick texted Imogen the situation and after a bit of back and forth messaging, they decided they would each write a letter, meet for coffee after work one day and then send it to David. Neither really had hopes it would change anything but they felt they should try.

Over the course of the week, Charlie watched as Nick agonized over what to say to his brother in his portion of the letter. He had already come out to him as bi years ago, before David had been quite so extreme, but he wanted to try to help him see it was just who he was, not something he chose. The hardest part for Nick to write was in regards to Sean, enlisting Charlie’s help with the wording multiple times. He needed to make sure that he accurately represented Sean’s transition without saying anything that would be inaccurate. When Nick came home Thursday night after coffee with Imogen, he shared with Charlie the letter they had completed. It was poignant and heartfelt, full of the coming out stories and history of their queer family, including Charlie and their relationship, and ended with a plea to really consider the shame and self-hatred caused by David’s kind of messaging. As they lay cuddled in bed that night, Nick sent the letter via email to his brother, his sister-in-law and also his mom.

After Nick had pressed send, Charlie had wrapped him in his arms, expecting him to cry or be upset, but instead was surprised to find Nick just felt relieved. And horny. He had immediately kissed Charlie fervently, undressing them both as quickly as he could and proceeded to show Charlie exactly how much he loved him, how secure he was in his queerness. Charlie had writhed underneath him, overcome with emotion and the sensations Nick evoked within him, before he came with a loud cry and Nick collapsed on top of him, peppering Charlie with kisses as they caught their breath.

The next evening was Charlie’s office Christmas party. That morning, when Nick had dragged himself out of Charlie’s arms to face the day at school, Charlie had sat on the couch, looking out the large windows at the snow falling, and had carefully handwritten Christmas cards to each member of his staff. He thanked them for all of their hard work during the year and made sure to include a personal message with something he appreciated about each of them. After enjoying an extra cup of coffee and a longer than normal reading time, he went to the bookstore to secure a handful of books from Isaac’s list, then as he browsed his way through the mall back to his car, he passed a jewelry store and inspiration for Nick’s Christmas gift struck. 

He entered the jewelry store and went straight to the men’s section, bypassing the rings (he hoped eventually he’d be buying one of those, but not yet) and chains, to the watches. He knew Nick had his smartwatch that he wore while running and on casual days but he had never seen him wear a dress watch, even on the days he dressed in more professional attire at work. It seemed like the perfect gift, something nice and sentimental, but also practical. He studied the large selection, unsure what some of the differences were between the brands and was grateful when a salesperson came over, introduced herself and offered to assist him. By that point, Charlie was fairly sure he wanted to get him one with a leather band, knowing Nick might be bothered by the metal catching on his arm hairs, so she collected the options in leather and told him about the features of each, why one designer was different from another. After much deliberation, he finally chose one with a brown leather strap with a round silver face that was powered by light. When Margo offered to wrap it for him - and since he felt he was bad at wrapping - he gratefully accepted and was very pleased with the result. When he had paid and thanked her for her help, she smiled and told him she hoped his partner would like it, without a hint of hidden homophobia and Charlie beamed, wishing her happy holidays as he left.

He breathed a sigh of relief that he had Nick’s major present sorted out now and would only need to collect a few small things to go with it. He made a quick stop at the bank before heading home, withdrawing money for his staff’s Christmas gifts. The snow had picked up while he was at the mall, leaving a couple of inches covering everything. Normally, Charlie loved the snow and didn’t want it to stop, but he was looking forward to the party tonight, and he hoped it wouldn’t hinder their time out. He hid Nick’s present when he got home and did a little bit more online Christmas shopping while he ate a light (late!) lunch. 

When Nick got home, they spent a few hours just hanging out and talking about their days. Nick was feeling very ready for Christmas vacation, with only one more week of school until break. Sean would be getting home in a week as well, which they were both looking forward to. Before they started getting ready for the party, they were surprised by a knock at the door and Charlie opened it to see Nick’s mom Sarah standing there.

“Mom! What are you doing here?” Nick said incredulously, “I thought you were going to the house to stay with the kids while Charlie, Imogen, and I are at the party tonight.”

“I am, I’m heading there next. You know, those kids don’t need a babysitter. They’re old enough to take care of themselves,” Sarah stated forthrightly.

“I know Mom, we went over this already. It’s just because it’s overnight and if there was an emergency, it just makes sense for an adult to be there,” Nick said defensively.

“Oh, I agree. I just meant right now, like, if Imogen needs to leave before I get there, they will be fine…I’m excited to stay the night with them actually,” Sarah clarified.

Charlie closed the door behind her and offered to take her coat, hanging it with his and Nick’s when she slipped it off. “To what do we owe the pleasure then, Sarah?” Charlie asked her kindly. 

“Well, I just wanted to stop by and talk to you guys about the whole David situation.”

Charlie glanced at Nick, who had straightened up and a wall of self-protection seemed to have sprung up around him. He went over to him and gently placed his hand on Nick’s lower back in support and invited Sarah to come in, saying he would get some water going for tea so they could talk. She nodded and thanked him, gazing around at the apartment as she did, which reminded Charlie that she had never been here before. He quickly turned the stove on to boil water and then gave her the short tour, her kind comments warming him. In their absence from the kitchen, Nick had retrieved their tea mugs from the cupboard and got out a selection of teas for his mom to choose from, having already placed his and Charlie’s in their mugs.

Sarah sat down delicately at the kitchen table, hands folding and unfolding nervously in front of her. Nick leaned into Charlie’s side where they stood at the counter, waiting for the water to finish so they could sit, and Charlie reached his arm around his waist, squeezing gently, offering his strength. Once the tea was done, they sat together in silence before Nick finally opened the conversation.

“OK Mom, the suspense is killing me. Are you here to say you agree with David?” Nick’s words came out in a rush.

“No! Absolutely not! The opposite actually. I’m here to tell you that…I really appreciated the letter you wrote. I think it was heartfelt and really well-spoken, it was obvious you put a lot of thought and care into it. I know that I haven’t always understood everything your family has gone through recently…but I wasn’t born in the eighteenth century, I know that nothing you are experiencing is your choice , it’s who you are . And I want you all to know that I love who you are, and I will fight anyone, David included, if they try to hurt you in any way.”

Nick looked up at his mom in surprise and reached over to hold her hand.

“I know I have tried to ‘fix’ this thing between the two of you for years, mostly for selfish reasons because I would love to have you all get along and be able to come together on holidays. But I’m realizing now, what you need from me isn’t for me to try and fix this, it’s to support you and recognize how wrong he is. I’m sorry I haven't done that in the past but I plan to now.”

Charlie was quite surprised at the direction the conversation had taken, he’d expected Sarah to want her sons to reconcile, whereas now it seemed she was fully choosing to support Nick and his family, to what end he didn’t know yet, but it was really good to know she was on their side. Charlie didn’t know her very well, and after the text she had sent right before Thanksgiving, he had been unsure whether they would be able to see eye-to-eye in regards to Nick but now, he had hopes they could move forward and maybe even become close.

The three of them jumped when Charlie’s alarm on his phone went off, reminding him he had to leave for the party in 20 minutes otherwise he would be late. Nick walked Sarah to the door after Charlie said his own goodbyes, and he hurried to the bedroom to pull his Christmas sweater over his white undershirt. It was black with Christmas themed designs around it in rainbow colors with the words “Don We Now Our Gay Apparel”. He knew it was a bit on the nose but that was what made it fun. Nick hurried in while Charlie messed with his curls and quickly changed into his ass hugging jeans and his own sweater which was bright red and sported a huge Rudolph in the center with a light up nose and Christmas lights trailing through his antlers. It was ridiculous but so Nick . They grabbed Charlie’s gift for Isaac, the cards for the staff and both of their wallets before heading to the car.

The restaurant where the dinner would be held was about 10 minutes from their house but with the snow, it took closer to 15. Charlie resolved that he was only having one drink at the beginning of the meal and lots of water afterwards so he could be their designated driver after bowling. Nick had had a hard week and he wanted him to be able to let loose a little and drink some if he wanted. They were the first to arrive and were led to a large round table with enough space for ten people to sit around. The rest of the staff and their partners trickled in and introductions were made with each new arrival as Rachel and Melissa’s husbands had not met Nick or Imogen before. They all enjoyed a lovely meal with drinks and dessert before the staff gift exchange. Isaac loved his books from Charlie, and Charlie was thrilled at the selection of specialty coffees Melissa gifted to him. He passed around their Christmas cards and they all thanked him profusely.

Just before 8pm, they all donned their coats to walk across the street to the bowling alley where they had two-hour-long reservations. It was cosmic bowling which had bright neon colors and glow in the dark elements along with 90's pop dance music playing for a really fun atmosphere. They were split into two groups on neighboring lanes and the teasing and trash talking kept them in stitches all night. Imogen, it turned out, was really funny and she and Michael were hilarious together. 

Charlie teased Nick that he was winning because of his strong baseball arms, which Nick promptly shot right back, “I thought you liked my arms,” causing Charlie to blush. Tori just rolled her eyes at them as she sipped her vodka lemonade and Isaac read his book, except for when it was his turn. As their time wound down, half the group was delightfully tipsy while the other half, the designated drivers, were not, and were feeling ready for their beds, Charlie included. It had been the most fun at the staff party in a long time and he was sure Imogen and Nick had something to do with that. 

By the time he got Nick home into bed, he was blubbering about how much he loved Charlie, how amazing he was at bowling, how good of a boss he was, that he was the best dentist in the world, how much he loved fucking him, and all Charlie could do was smile and nod along, thankful this version of drunk Nick hadn’t shown up until they arrived at their apartment. He made sure Nick drank an entire glass of water before falling asleep, and left a full glass next to his bed for the morning, as well as placed a small garbage can with a fresh plastic liner in it next to his bed, just in case. He didn’t think Nick was that drunk but he did not want to clean up vomit in the morning (no thank you!) . 

Charlie climbed into bed and scrolled on his phone for a few minutes, looking longingly at some of the homes listed for sale in the same neighborhood as Nick’s house. He knew they weren’t ready for it but…he just couldn’t get the idea out of his head now. At the very least, he resolved they should have a discussion about their finances and how all the rents, utilities, etc. were going to be split up, now that they were in a new living situation. (Ugh) , he was not looking forward to that conversation but he knew they needed to have it, and soon, before next month's bills would be due. He tried to calm the anxiety it caused him to think about, and eventually fell into a restless sleep. 

The next morning, having gotten very little in the way of sound sleep, Charlie got up early, carefully extracting himself from Nick’s embrace without waking him, to make Nick breakfast since he would likely still be hungover. After he took a quick shower to rinse off the bowling alley smell, he put on his softest black sweatpants and a maroon long sleeve shirt and wrapped himself in his cozy robe, before he padded to the kitchen to start coffee and make pancakes. He knew pancakes were gentle on the stomach and hoped Nick would like them. He hummed along with the soft instrumental Christmas music playing in the background and was so engrossed in the work, he didn’t even hear Nick get up until he startled him when he came up behind Charlie and wrapped his arms around his waist. Nick placed a small kiss on his neck and then rested his chin on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Are you making me pancakes?” Nick asked quietly.

“Yes,” Charlie nodded and spoke in a whisper, “How’s your head this morning?”

He felt Nick shrug his shoulders against him, “It’s throbbing a bit, if I’m honest. I drank all the water you left for me; thank you, by the way. I’ll take some meds once I’ve eaten a bit. Pancakes are the perfect choice…god, I love you Charlie.”

Charlie giggled, “You're still sappy this morning, I see.”

Nick shrugged again, “At least you love me, so it won’t scare you off.”

Charlie turned into his arms, wrapped his own around Nick’s neck and kissed him gently, and said, “I do babe, but…you’ve got to go brush your teeth. You taste like death.”

Nick laughed loudly and then groaned, gripping the side of his head. He stepped away from Charlie and walked toward the bathroom, Charlie’s eyes following him the whole way. That man, he was constantly amazed by how much he loved Nick. Even when he wasn’t at his best, Charlie knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

He turned back to the stove top and removed the pancakes that had just finished, sliding them on a plate for Nick, and laid it on the table, along with silverware, a glass of orange juice, and two Tylenol. He filled Nick’s coffee mug and set it with his breakfast, before returning to the stove to finish cooking the rest of the batter. He heard Nick return and sit heavily in his chair, watched him carefully butter and pour syrup over his pancakes, and began to eat slowly. Satisfied that Nick was (somewhat) enjoying them, he quickly finished the last four in the pan and brought his own plate to the table, along with his coffee.

They ate mostly in silence and Charlie watched as Nick slowly came back to life, with the combination of food, coffee and Tylenol. He looked so cute sitting there slightly hunched over with his hair all tousled and sticking up in every direction and Charlie just couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and kissing him again, tasting the sweet syrup on his lips. Nick sighed into his mouth and Charlie felt sparks shoot across his body and straight to his dick. He pulled back and took a deep breath, reminding himself, and his body, that Nick was ill and now was not the time for that.

After they'd both finished eating, Charlie cleaned up the dishes and stored the extra pancakes in the fridge while Nick showered. Charlie knew Nick would need to leave soon to go spend the week at the house with the kids. They had already invited Charlie to come and bake Christmas cookies with them tomorrow afternoon and Charlie was excited to join them after his weekly brunch with his parents. He knew he wouldn’t really have any time to talk to Nick about the rent situation for another week if he didn’t mention it now, and even though he knew Nick wasn’t feeling great, he felt like he needed to rip off the BandAid and get it over with.

When Nick emerged from the bedroom after his shower, his bag over his shoulder of items he needed to take with him to the house, he looked much more alive and ready to face the day. Charlie poured them both another cup of coffee and asked Nick if they could sit in the living room, so they could talk about something before Nick left. Nick’s face scrunched up in concern and Charlie rushed to assure him there was nothing wrong, he just wanted to talk about the living situation. 

“Wait, Charlie, are you unhappy we’re living together?” Nick asked nervously, as he sat down on the couch.

“No! Absolutely not! The opposite, in fact, I’m so fucking happy to be living with you Nick. Like, I want to be with you all the time,” Charlie replied, voice cracking with emotion.

Nick let out a sigh, “OK, then, what did you want to talk about?”

Charlie took a deep breath. “It’s weird to start this, I’m not sure how to say it.”

“Charlie, you can tell me anything. Please just say what’s on your mind.”

Charlie looked over at Nick, hoping he had misread the slight tone of irritation he thought he had heard. Nick rarely, if ever, got upset with Charlie.

“Well, it’s about the rent. I mean, we never talked about how we were going to split up the various costs of living together. Like, I know you have the house and the other apartment so it’s totally fine if you want me to keep paying for everything here…and I actually want to do that! But also, I wanted to talk about it now before we moved forward any further.”

Nick stared at him, wide-eyed. “You think I’d want you to just pay for everything? Char, I fully intend to pay my share to live with you.”

Charlie picked at his sleeve nervously. “But Nick, you and Imogen still pay for the house, and the other apartment…and I make…enough to cover the expenses here…I thought, maybe it would be easier for you, if I kept paying for this apartment. At least until we buy our own house, like, since you mentioned that a few weeks ago, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Charlie knew he was rambling but Nick hadn’t said anything else so he pushed on. “I’ve even been browsing a little bit, like, on Zillow, just to see what is available in the same neighborhood, so it would be easier on the kids, and I think we could make it work, and it wouldn’t actually cost any more than what we’re all paying now between the house and two apartments. And since I’ve lived in this small place alone for so long, I have a decent amount of money saved that we could use for a down payment…” Charlie trailed off when Nick held up his hand to stop him from going further.

Nick pinched the top of his nose, eyes scrunched shut, “Let me get this straight. First, you want to pay for everything here, not let me help at all. Then, you want to buy a house for us? I’m confused Charlie, because I thought we were going into this as a partnership and you sound like you've just kind of made these decisions on your own without even talking to me?”

Charlie shook his head rapidly side to side, “No Nick, that’s what I’m trying to do now, talk to you, so we can decide this together!”

“Charlie, it seems as though you’ve got it all figured out and you haven't really stopped to think about how all this would make me feel! Like, I’ve been the man who was the main source of income for 20 years, I’ve provided for my family, without anyone else’s help. Even when Imogen went back to work after the kids were born, her income basically paid for extras for us, and now it covers the apartment she lives in. I’m the only one who has worked and struggled with how to make ends meet, and suddenly, you want to, what? Take care of me? I love you Charlie, but I want this to be a partnership and if that’s not how you see it…” Nick stood, as if he was going to leave.

Charlie could feel an ache building in the pit of his stomach. He was kicking himself internally for picking this timing to bring up the conversation, and he hadn’t anticipated Nick to react like this at all. He needed to find a way to turn this around and get him and Nick back on the same page.

“Wait, Nick!” Charlie grabbed his hand, pulling him back down on the couch and took his face in his hands so they were looking into each other’s eyes.

“Baby, I’m sorry if that’s how it sounded or made you feel, it’s not my intention. I do want to take care of you Nick, don’t you see that? And I want you to take care of me! It’s just, this is a thing I could do, make it easier on you. And Imogen too. I mean, don’t you think she would appreciate it? If money didn’t have to be such a struggle, if I was paying for our life, so you could pay for theirs?”

“Oh my god, Charlie! Their life is my life too! Like, I’m their dad and that is my most important job!”

“I know, and I just thought, this way you could feel less stress about it…I thought you would be happy for me to buy us a house…where you could have your own garden all the time, the kids could have their own rooms and we could be together all the time…Nick, isn’t that what you want? For us to live together all the time?”

“God, Charlie, of course it’s what I want! Just, not like this…not with you making all the decisions and leaving me out of it! I have more to consider than just what I want…I have my children, and a relationship with their mom that I would like to keep civil,” Nick sounded like he was on the verge of tears and Charlie couldn't tell if they were angry or sad.

“Alright, Nick, I’m sorry. I guess I jumped the gun and made assumptions I shouldn’t have. I just, I love you so damn much Nick. I want to be everything, do everything, for you,” Charlie’s voice broke. He knew he was pushing too hard, and yet he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He just wanted Nick to understand, he wasn’t trying to make the decisions, he was trying to share his dreams of taking care of Nick and he was obviously going about it the wrong way. 

“Can we…” Charlie took a deep breath, “Can we start this conversation over? Like rewind? I really want to do this right…”

Nick looked over at him and then quickly turned away, tears shining in his eyes.

“I think…I think, I need to think about this on my own a bit. Maybe take some time while I’m with the kids this week to think of the right thing to say, the best way to handle this?” Nick broke off, a few tears now streaming down his face. 

“Nick, please don’t leave mad…I can fix this, please let me fix this!” Charlie said desperately. “I don’t want to, I can’t lose you.”

“You haven't lost me Charlie…I just need some time alone to figure this out,” Nick stood and walked to the door. Charlie hurried after him, tears rushing down his face now too. 

“Please, please don’t leave Nick…” Charlie was terrified that if Nick left, he wouldn’t come back and he would have fucked this all up. Despite himself, despite having just heard Nick say he needed to be alone, he found himself pushing back against Nick’s words, begging him to stay. He knew he should stop, knew he was ignoring Nick’s boundaries, but the fear was threatening to pull him under. 

When Nick had his boots and coat on, his bag slung over his shoulder, he stood in front of Charlie and placed his hands on his shoulders, unable to look him in the eye. Charlie felt like he was dying inside, unable to breathe. Nick leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before he turned and left their apartment and Charlie crumbled to the floor, fear tugging at his heart that he would never see Nick again.

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick’s body felt like lead, or maybe more like he was running underwater. It had been almost twenty four hours since he had left their apartment (Charlie’s apartment?) and he hadn’t been able to think of anything other than the fight he had had with Charlie and whether it meant the end of their relationship. He didn’t want it to end. He knew that. It’s just that his feelings were so hurt that Charlie had assumed Nick would be alright with him basically controlling all their finances and had moved forward with plans for the future, without even consulting him. He knew, rationally, that he was jumping to conclusions about Charlie’s intentions, that Charlie hadn’t really meant to make decisions for him, but his still-alcohol-addled mind hadn’t processed everything well, and he’d gone and yelled at Charlie. Charlie, who he loved more than he ever thought he could love another person again. 

(God, he’d made such a mess of it) He wanted to call Charlie, or better yet, go to him. But he also knew he needed to take the time to figure out what he really wanted, needed, to say before doing that. 

Right now, he had promised the kids they would make Christmas cookies so he needed to focus on them. He assumed Charlie wasn’t coming like originally planned so he had told the kids Charlie had something come up and couldn’t make it. They had been disappointed and Nick realized at that moment that they were the number one reason he needed to make this right with Charlie, so they wouldn’t get hurt in the process. They were already feeling attached to him, and Nick was really glad, but he also knew it meant they could easily be hurt. And they were his top priority, they had to be. No matter what, he would always choose them.

Despite it all, he was really missing Charlie and even if things were uncertain between them, he still wanted to make sure Charlie knew he loved him and was thinking about him. So while they were making the cookies - today's choice was gingerbread - he sent multiple pictures of their progress to Charlie along with a message that they were missing him. When Charlie had only responded with heart emojis and to say the cookies looked good, Nick’s heart sank, knowing it meant how much Charlie was hurting. 

Nick [2:45] : ‘Char, I hate that this is hurting you. I promise I do want to talk about this but I need some time to think it all through. I love you so much and that won’t change.’

A few minutes went by, the message on ‘Read’ with no response and it broke his heart. He couldn’t stand to be the cause of Charlie hurting. He was determined that after they finished the cookie baking, he would spend some time writing down what he wanted to say to him, to put into words how he felt, and also what he thought was a solution that would work for him. It felt like writing it down gave him the best chance to articulate his thoughts and make sure they were both understood when they talked again. 

The remainder of the week was nothing short of brutal for Nick. He missed Charlie like a piece of him was gone, his kids commented on his general malaise on a daily basis. He had tried to brush it off but they knew him too well, he could see it in their eyes that they wanted to ask, to push him to say more, to help him, but he refused to be a burden to his children. That was not their job. Even Sean had reached out, obviously having been informed of his dad’s behaviour by Matt, and told Nick he was there to talk if he needed him. That broke Nick’s heart a little bit, that his adult son was so mature and kind - he didn’t feel worthy of that. 

He powered through the school week, everyone eagerly anticipating the upcoming two week vacation time for Christmas and New Year’s. He tried to make the lessons fun and low pressure, knowing his students' minds were elsewhere, and admittedly, his own was as well. When the half day arrived on Friday, Nick was overjoyed to drive away from the school building with two full weeks of freedom to look forward to. 

He had spent hours each evening contemplating his relationship with Charlie and where he wanted them to be right now, and how he hoped they’d move forward. He had written it all down and was eagerly awaiting the hour when Imogen arrived so he could go see Charlie, hold him in his arms, apologize for his anger and discuss their future. 

What he was not expecting that afternoon, while he was changing the sheets for Imogen, was an email response to their letter from David. Nick wasn’t even sure he had the emotional energy to deal with it at the moment, with the strain in his relationship with Charlie, but he also knew it would be hypocritical of him to be angry at his brother’s long lack of response and then do the same to him. He quickly finished the bedding, packed his bag and made himself a cup of hot chocolate (he only drank tea when he was with Charlie, shhh!) before sitting in his favorite chair to read the email.

What he read broke his heart and he knew almost instantly, from the first “response” section his brother had added to the original email, that their relationship was fractured forever. It felt like each comment he made drove the wedge further and further between them, until Nick couldn’t even see the man he had once known. His comments about Nick choosing to love another man when he could also choose the “better way” and love a woman made Nick want to throw up; just the insinuation that his love for Charlie was somehow sub-standard making him feel ill. David had claimed Sean was just a “tomboy” and this gender confusion was leading to the “mutilation of beautiful women” and had belittled Imogen’s ownership of her asexuality by saying she was “misled” to believe she should enjoy sex. 

Nick couldn’t help the tears leaking from his eyes or that his hands were shaking in anger. His own brother…he just couldn’t fathom how they were ever to have a relationship again. He knew there was no way he could ever feel safe around him, let alone expect his children to. His heart hurt for the impact this would have on his mom though, knowing she couldn’t heal the rift between her sons, that she would forever be torn between the two of them. Yet, he knew severing the relationship was the right thing for all involved. He forwarded the email to his mom, saying she could call him tomorrow if she wanted. 

Just then, Daisy bounded down the stairs from her place in Matt’s room, and stood at the front door, tail wagging excitedly. Nick sighed, relieved it meant Imogen was here and he could head to his apartment, and Charlie. God, he hoped Charlie actually wanted to see him, wanted him there. They had had very little communication between them over the week and Nick needed to be with him like he needed air. Needed his reassurance that everything was going to be OK with them, needed his comfort in the wake of his sorrow and anger about his brother. When Imogen came in the door, he shouldered his bag, called out a quick “Bye guys!” to the kids and told Imogen he would see her on Sunday, when he came to see Sean who was getting home tomorrow from university for the holidays. He sent a quick text to Charlie, letting him know he was on his way, hoping he wouldn’t be rebuffed at the door.

Nick [3:15] : ‘Charlie, babe, I’m heading over now. I hope you want to see me, I miss you like crazy and need to hold you in my arms. They ache without you in them.’

Pocketing his phone, he drove carefully through the snowy streets to their apartment. When he got there, there was still no response from Charlie to his message, it was still on ‘sent’. He steeled himself to the reality that Charlie possibly wasn’t going to want to see him, that he had reacted so badly during their disagreement, even though he still (partly) felt like he was in the right, that Charlie was finished with him. So with his heart in his throat, he let himself in through the front door, removed his shoes and set his bag by the door, then made his way into the apartment, calling out softly to Charlie so he didn’t startle him. 

The further he went inside though, he recognized something was wrong. The air had an unpleasant odor to it, one Nick recognized from his years as a parent and teacher. His anxiety increased, praying Charlie hadn’t relapsed into new versions of his ED, that he was simply ill, as horrible as that was to hope for. He tiptoed his way to their bedroom door and pushed it openly as quietly as he could, making his way to Charlie’s bedside where the source of the odor was strongest. Silently, he picked up the sick bucket and took it to the bathroom, emptying it and rinsing it before bringing it back to Charlie’s bedside. 

He was relieved now that it was obvious Charlie was not making himself sick, but was actually suffering from illness. He gently placed his hand on Charlie’s forehead, it was burning up, before leaving a gentle kiss where his hand had been. Charlie stirred a bit but didn’t wake so Nick picked up the empty water glass from the side table and went to fill it for him in the kitchen. As he placed it back in their room, he was turning to leave to go clean the bathroom when he heard Charlie mumble his name from underneath the covers where he had buried himself further. Nick sat on the side of the bed.

“Hi,” Nick whispered.

“Hi,” Charlie whispered back. “I didn’t know if you'd come…I’d hoped you would…I was going to text and tell you I wanted you…but then I got sick…and…” Charlie looked like it was taking all his strength to get the words out. “Fucking food poisoning.”

“Oh darling, I’m so sorry you’re sick. Are you sure it’s food poisoning?” Nick loved Charlie and would take care of him either way but…he really didn’t want the stomach bug, especially right before Christmas.

Charlie nodded. “I ordered dinner… last night and… was fine… beforehand. It hit fast… and furious a couple of hours later…” Charlie wiggled out of the bedding and reached for his glass.

Nick stood quickly, picking up the glass and holding it to Charlie’s mouth so he could take a few sips.

“Once it was all out…I’ve not gotten sick again…” Charlie assured him. “It's definitely food poisoning.”

“You have a fever though, love.”

Charlie nodded, “You can… get a fever with some kinds…of food poisoning. I promise…I’m not going…to get you sick.”

Nick leaned in again, kissing his forehead before standing up. “OK, I’m going to let you sleep while I clean the bathroom, alright?”

Charlie nodded minutely and then, with apparent extreme effort, reached his hand towards Nick. Nick took it immediately, kissing the back of his hand before threading their fingers together, a calm settling over him at the contact. 

“You’re not…leaving, are you? I don’t want…you to go…I’m so sorry…” Charlie whispered.

“Shhh, shhhh” Nick interrupted him, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry too. But we can talk about that when you’re well again. I love you so much, Charlie.” Nick kissed the inside of his wrist, trailed kisses up his arm as far as he could reach before it disappeared under the blankets.

“I love you more…” Charlie’s eye fluttered shut, and his breathing evened out until Nick was sure he was asleep again. He tiptoed out of the room, pulling the door shut gently behind him, and set to the task of cleaning the apartment, grateful for something to do to help the man he loved, since he hadn’t been here to take care of him when he was so ill. 

His thoughts churned through the notes he had made to talk to Charlie about, and the email his brother had sent. His stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies, nerves filling him with the unresolved issues he needed to deal with. After a short phone call with his mom, from the balcony so he didn’t disturb Charlie, he decided to send a final email to his brother, effectively ending their relationship unless David were to change his beliefs about them. His mom had fully supported this, adding that she would be informing David he was not allowed to ever say anything like that in her presence, or she would be removing herself from their relationship as well. Nick was shocked at how supportive she was being, and so grateful for it. It gave him hope their relationship was going to have the chance to get even closer in the coming months. 

Slipping quietly back into the apartment, he searched the cupboards to see what would be available for him to eat and what he could prepare for Charlie once he was feeling up to eating again. Unfortunately, since Charlie did his normal shopping trips on Friday mornings, and he was very sick this morning, he was quite low and Nick decided the best thing he could for them was to go out and stock up, leaving Charlie to rest in peace again. Not wanting to just disappear on him and make Charlie worry, Nick entered the bedroom again and kneeled down next to Charlie, who had stirred when he walked in. 

“Baby, sorry to disturb you…we don’t have very much to eat in the apartment, so I’m going to pop out to the grocery store and stock up. It's supposed to snow a lot tomorrow night so it would be good to be prepared. Is there anything specific you want, something you usually eat when you’re recovering from being sick?” Nick asked softly.

Charlie’s stunning blue eyes stared into Nick’s, and Nick felt like he was melting from the inside, his love for Charlie overtaking all of his anxiety, calming him. Charlie started to speak but no words came out so he sat up a bit and reached for his water, taking a couple of sips and then cleared his throat, trying again.

“Um…just some toast, bananas…maybe some applesauce…plain yogurt…I should be fine by tomorrow…I hope…oh! Soup too…” Charlie said, his voice scratchy.

“OK, sweetheart. I’ll get that plus everything for your meal plan starting for Monday? Christmas isn’t until Wednesday, so we can get that stuff later, since I’m off work. Um, do you have your phone nearby, in case you think of anything else?” Nick’s eyes searched the side table, not seeing the phone and then Charlie pulled it out from under his pillow. He smiled and leaned over to kiss him before leaving. 

“Do you need help going to the bathroom before I go?” Nick asked, worried about Charlie trying to get there in his weakened state, even though it was just across the hall.

Charlie thought about it for a minute and then shook his head, “I’ll wait until you get back.”

“OK, I won’t be long,” Nick assured him.

He tried not to be gone long, he really did. But the snow on the roads made the traffic slow going and he spent almost as much time driving to and from the store as he did actually doing the shopping. He stocked up on all of Charlie’s safe foods and bought extra holiday snacking foods, mostly for him but Charlie might snag a few once he felt better. The store they did their shopping at also had a fancy jewelry store attached and Nick wandered through on his way out, contemplating something for Charlie for Christmas. He knew Charlie couldn’t wear any fancy watches or bracelets because of work, and he wasn’t quite ready to get him a ring yet (he wanted the first ring he bought Charlie to be an engagement one) but he saw a couple of delicate yet masculine white gold chains that he thought Charlie would really like. 

As he loaded the groceries into the car, he couldn’t stop thinking about one of the chains and envisioning Charlie opening it on Christmas. Deciding he might as well get it now, he made his way back into the store, nodding to the salesman who had assisted him earlier. After it was paid for and wrapped, Nick hurried back to the car, concerned he had been away too long and Charlie was going to be needing him. 

By the time he pulled into the parking lot outside their building, it had begun to snow again and Nick realized he had been gone for nearly two hours. He hurried up the stairs, his arms loaded with all of the shopping bags, save for the tiny one he had locked in the glove compartment, and rushed inside. He deposited the bags on the kitchen floor, shrugged out of his coat and into their bedroom, finding it empty. 

“Charlie?” he called out tentatively, in the direction of the bathroom. “You sick again, love?”

“Nick…” Charlie sounded embarrassed, “um…can you come in here please?”

Nick poked his head through the bathroom door, “What’s wrong?” he asked, seeing Charlie sitting on the toilet seat, fully clothed.

“I just…I’m so tired I can’t make it back…”

Nick smiled sweetly at him, “You want me to carry you Char?”

Charlie shook his head, “No, can’t have you…throwing your back out…I need you healthy…for all the makeup sex…we’re gonna have in a couple days.” His eyes twinkled at Nick, making him inhale in shock.

“Someone’s feeling better…” Nick stated, coming over to wrap his arm around Charlie’s waist, securing his other over Nick’s shoulder to hold on. He gently lifted him to standing and they shuffled their way back to their bed.

“Ugh, it stinks in here,” Charlie complained. Nick couldn't disagree, it smelled like stale sweat and the remnants of vomit odor hung in the air. 

“Maybe after a few more hours of rest, I’ll get you into the bath and I’ll change all the sheets and wipe everything down while you’re in there, how does that sound?”

Charlie nodded against his shoulder before crawling back under the covers and laying his head on the pillow, his curls fanning out adorably, eyes already closing again. Nick kissed his temple and left him to rest while he went and unloaded the groceries. His own stomach had started to growl with hunger but he didn’t want to cook anything that would smell strong and bother Charlie’s still-sensitive stomach so he made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an apple and some chips and went to the living room to eat. TV volume on low, he watched a Christmas movie while he ate, relaxing into the comfort of being back in their shared space and feeling more positive about their relationship than he had in nearly a week. 

When the movie was over, he placed his dishes in the dishwasher and made his way back to Charlie. 

“Char?” he asked quietly, “are you ready to try and take a bath now?”

Charlie, who had already begun to sit up when Nick entered, nodded. “Yes! I feel a lot better now, just weak still. But, I feel so gross. Like I ran a marathon and didn’t shower afterwards.”

“Alright, wait a minute though. I’m going to go get the water running for you so you’re not cold waiting for it.”

“OK,” Charlie said, “thanks.”

Nick turned the bath faucet on, plugged the drain and retrieved a fresh washcloth and towel from the linen closet. He moved all of Charlie’s hair products lower on the bath shelves so he could reach them while sitting. Then he went back to help Charlie make his way in. Charlie still leaned on him while they walked, but not as heavily as before. It was remarkable to Nick, how quickly the body could recover from such violent illness sometimes. Once they were in the bathroom, Nick closed the door to keep the heat in so Charlie wouldn’t be cold, and sat him on the toilet seat so he could help undress him. There was nothing sexual about it this time though, it was simply Nick taking care of Charlie, the man he loved.

He held Charlie’s hand as he stepped into the bathtub and lowered himself into the water, groaning as he did so. Nick tried to keep his thoughts in check but found his body had other ideas when Charlie made that noise. Charlie glanced over at him, smirking at his now-obvious erection, and did it again, on purpose, just to mess with Nick. Nick shook his head at him.

“I’m meant to be taking care of you, stop it!” he whined with a grin, not really angry about it.

“I can’t help that your dick has a mind of its own…” Charlie quipped. “You could join me in here, if you wanted…”

“Char, I would barely fit in there on my own and you know it…but, someday we should get a tub big enough for both of us.”

Charlie nodded, “I’ll add it to the house search criteria,” then, realizing what he had said, slapped his hand over his mouth. “God, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Charlie, it's OK.” Nick took a deep breath, unsure if this was the time, if Charlie was feeling ready to talk now or was still too ill. “I do want to get a house together, eventually…I guess it just took me by surprise that you seem to have a sooner timeline than I thought.”

Charlie looked deep in thought.

“We don’t have to talk about this now,” Nick hurried to say, “We can wait until you’re feeling better. And when you’re not naked in the bathtub, distracting me with how hot you are.”

“Nick, I want to talk about it, as soon as possible. I don’t like having it hanging over us…” Charlie said.

Nick understood the sentiment and agreed they could talk about it once Charlie was clean, back in bed, if he still felt up for it. He left Charlie to soak and wash up while he went to strip the bed, putting the clothes he’d been wearing and the sheets directly into the washing machine. Using a disinfectant, he sprayed all the surfaces of the bedroom besides the bed and wiped them clean before placing clean sheets on the bed, and fresh blankets. The disinfectant smell lingered so Nick opened the windows wide and closed the door, letting it air out for a few minutes and keeping the cold air trapped in the one room. Once he’d sealed it back up and cranked the heat up, the smell was much better and he lit a Christmas tree scented candle, knowing it was Charlie’s favorite.

He crept back into the bathroom to find Charlie now surrounded by bubbles and laying back, relaxing in the hot water, eyes closed. They peeked open and looked at Nick, questioning if he should get out now. In answer, Nick reached into the water and released the plug and pulled Charlie to his feet before turning on the water to heat again and switched the source to the sprayer, taking it in hand to gently rinse the extra soap off Charlie’s body. Once he was fully clean, he wrapped a towel around Charlie’s shoulders and another around his waist and helped him climb out. Nick gently patted him dry, lightly squeezing the curls in the towel to soak up as much water as possible, and then helped him into the fresh pajamas he’d brought in. 

Charlie was staring at him the entire time and as soon as he slipped his shirt over Charlie’s neck and arms, he wrapped his arms tightly around Nick and hugged him like his life depended on it, like he was never going to let him go, and buried his face in Nick’s neck. Nick followed his lead and held Charlie snugly against him, placing featherlight kisses along Charlie’s shoulder until he reached the damp skin at his collarbone where he placed a gentle kiss and just rested his face there, breathing Charlie in.

When they parted, he took Charlie's hand and led him back to the bedroom, where it had warmed up, and helped him to sit against the headboard. Then he slipped from the room to retrieve his wallet, where he had folded up the notes of what he wanted to say when they talked. He knew the details mattered, of course they did, but the most important thing to him was that he loved Charlie, and they were going to be together forever - he knew that now - and this was likely the first of many arguments they would have to learn to resolve together. 

He slipped back into the room, checking to make sure Charlie had enough to drink and that he wasn’t hungry yet (he wasn’t), and verified with him that he did, in fact want to talk about this now. Charlie held out his hand towards him and Nick took it, climbing up to sit next to him against the headboard as well. Charlie’s thumb traced along Nick’s own as he began to speak.

“Nick, I’ve thought a lot about our fight this week. I missed you so much, but it was good that we had that distance, to really think through what we would want to say,” he looked over at Nick as he spoke. Nick nodded, agreeing with what he’d said so far.

“I’m so sorry baby, about what happened. I shouldn’t have started it like that, pushing us into a whole new situation when we barely started this one. And I should have listened to what you were saying, instead of continuing to push. Thinking about it from your perspective, I can see how me essentially offering to pay for our entire lives would make you feel. And I know we have to consider your family in any decisions we make, and I got too caught up in the fantasy and left you behind. I’m so sorry.” Charlie paused, slightly winded, and looked down at their entwined hands.

“Char, I’m sorry too. I flew off the handle at you, let my hurt feelings dictate what I said, or rather, how I said it. I guess I was just so surprised, and still a little hungover…I’m embarrassed by the way I acted, honestly. I should have stayed, we should have kept talking then. Even though the distance helped this time, I don’t want to do that again, I don’t ever want to run away from you again, sweetheart,” Nick used his free hand to wipe at the tears that had dripped down off his nose.

“So where does that leave us then?” Charlie asked, his voice fearful, “Are we, are we breaking up?”

“No! Oh my god, no! Absolutely not Charlie! That is the last thing I want!” Nick was adamant. He unfolded the paper he had written his thoughts on, the first section already accomplished, apologizing to Charlie. 

“I guess, the way I see it is this. There are two aspects to discuss. One is how do we, you and I plus Imogen, handle the finances of living together in this part-time situation? And the second is, what do we, you and I, want for the future, together?”

Charlie seemed thoughtful, but then he slowly nodded. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Do you, do you have ideas about any of that?” his head inclined towards Nick’s paper with a small smile.

Nick grimaced, feeling embarrassed about his need to write it down to remember everything and be clear about it.

“Babe, sorry, I wasn’t teasing you. I think it really shows how much it means to you, that you took the time to write it down. I have some notes on my phone, in case I lose my train of thought while we’re talking.” Charlie assured him.

“OK well, the easiest one is the thoughts for the future, I guess. I want to live together permanently Charlie, I want to have a house with you, like you said. Ideally in the same area as where the current house is, logistically, for the kids. I think…I’d like to get married someday - this is not a proposal! - when we both are ready. For me, though, the most important part is that we are partners in it, that we talk and decide things together . What about you? What do you dream for our future? By the way, I had wanted to make this all romantic and go on a drive looking at Christmas lights while we talked, but you went and got food poisoning so…”

Charlie laughed, louder than before, almost like normal again. “Oh baby, I love you. As sweet as that sounds, I’m feeling pretty romantic towards you right now after how you’ve taken care of me…” he leaned in and kissed Nick softly, on the lips for the first time since their fight.

“I want everything you just said Nick. And I’m OK with however long it takes to get to any of that stuff, as long as we’re together, and working towards that together .”

They grinned at each other, thrilled to understand where they were heading.

“The hard part though…” Charlie trailed off, “I think Nick, maybe you should tell me what would make you comfortable in regards to the money right now.”

Nick sighed. “Well, I know you make more than I do sweetheart, and that’s alright! I’m not upset that you earn more than me, or have been able to save more than I have. I love what I do, despite the lower pay, and I love my children, the reasons I have less saved!” Nick laughed and Charlie squeezed his hand. 

“I just, don’t want to feel like…I don’t know how to say it but like, I don’t want to be a “kept man”, you know? Like I want to feel like I contribute here, to the start of our own family, the same as I do with Imogen and the kids. I don’t want to be beholden to you, I want to be your partner, if that makes sense?”

Charlie nodded affirmatively, “It absolutely does. I never meant to make you feel that way and I’m so sorry that’s how it came across.”

Nick waved his hand, “That’s over, forgiven, baby.”

“So what do you propose then?”

“Well, I was thinking…Imogen makes enough to cover the rent on her apartment and food, and her van is already paid for, so she agrees it would be the right thing for her to pay for that. She also had decided she’d like to pay for the food when she is there with the kids but that is confusing to work out so we agreed splitting that bill monthly would be the most fair. My salary has always covered the mortgage and the housing bills, including the medical and dental for the kids, and my car is paid off also. I want to keep paying for those like I have been doing.”

Charlie smiled, “I think that all sounds very fair for you guys, Nick.”

“And here, I was wondering if we could compromise. You wanted to pay for everything but I don’t feel like that works for me emotionally. So what if…you pay for the rent and I pay the utilities and for our food?”

“Nick, you’re only here two weeks a month, it doesn't seem fair for you to pay for my food when you’re not here. The rest is fine, but maybe, I pay for my own food when you’re not here? I just…it’s important for me to maintain some control over food, you know, even now…”

“Oh my god, Charlie! OK this is a totally different topic, but I’ve just remembered, I forgot to tell you! We got an appointment for Niles with Jennifer, at the clinic you suggested, for the first week of the new year. Our insurance, shockingly, covers most of it. And Niles is actually looking forward to it,” Nick broke off his excited ramble, knowing it was a divergence from their conversation but he was afraid he’d forget if he didn’t say it while he thought of it.

“Nick, I’m so glad! Whew, that makes me feel so relieved. From what I hear, Jennifer is wonderful so I hope she can help him.” Charlie squeezed his hand again.

“Oh yeah, so where were we? Right, the food budget. I understand why that means so much to you hon, so yeah that’s fine. And if, when?, you come there, to the house, with me, we can rethink that part, right?”

Charlie grinned widely, “Do you think…I mean, will you want me to come live there with you?”

“Ummmm, actually, I was going to ask if maybe, you’d like to start spending the weekends there at least? Like, I can totally understand it being a lot during the work week when you’re busy and more stressed…but yeah, if you want, I’d like it if you stay there with me, with us. We just can’t have sex there!”

Charlie giggled, “Gross, I don’t think I could anyways…but yeah, Nick, I want to be wherever you are, so yes please.”

“OK, good. So, after the holidays maybe, we start all of this? The cost-sharing and staying over?” Nick confirmed.

Charlie nodded with a smile and kissed Nick again, lingering longer this time. “I can’t wait until I’m better tomorrow so we can have amazing makeup sex…but I think I’m ready to sleep again.”

Nick scooted closer across the bed, pulling Charlie against him, kissing the top of his head. “Dr. Spring, we need to brush our teeth first,” he teased, causing Charlie to groan.

“Ugh, I know…” before he slowly climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom, Nick close behind him. They finished their nightly routines and Nick went around the apartment and turned off all the lights and made sure the door was locked before climbing into bed together and cuddling close.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Um, I was wondering, we’ve never really talked about it before…at least not explicitly…but um… have you ever?...I mean…can I?” Nick huffed in frustration, unsure why he was so shy to talk to Charlie about this.

“Nick, are you trying to ask if you can bottom?” Charlie whispered, voice husky.

Nick grunted. “I guess, yes Char, I am. God, I’m so awkward, why do you love me?”

“I love how awkward you are. It’s cute. And yes, darling, I have topped before. Yes I do like it; yes, you can bottom, if you want.”

“Ummm…”

“Do you want to do that tomorrow? Is that why you’re asking now?” Charlie asked, his voice dropping further.

Nick nodded but then remembered Charlie couldn’t see him in the dark so he breathed out, “Yes…” He felt Charlie’s lips meet his, tasting of mint now, his tongue lightly tracing Nick’s bottom lip.

“Good. I want that too. But I need sleep first and so do you…goodnight, baby,” Charlie’s voice trailed off, the “I love you” barely audible as he drifted into sleep.

Nick, for his part, was wide awake now, every nerve ending in his body singing in anticipation. He’d been hoping for this for weeks now, and it felt like this was the moment, the perfect time for that shared new experience. He was so relieved and grateful he and Charlie had resolved their conflict without it devolving into another argument and that they were on the same page with how to move forward. 

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie woke the next morning with his head on Nick’s chest, one arm flung over him, and his right leg slotted between Nick’s thick thighs. He was sweaty and his mouth tasted rancid, a holdover from having been so sick the previous 24 hours, but he felt so much better already. He tried to slowly extricate himself from Nick’s embrace without waking him as his bladder was desperately full, but Nick’s grip tightened around him and he grumbled a bit in his sleep, telling Charlie not to leave him.

“I have to pee, babe…” Charlie whispered and pulled himself up, “I’ll be right back.”

Charlie hurried to the bathroom, intending to come back to bed immediately but the sticky sensation of sweating all night was too much for him, so he decided to take a quick shower, hoping to finish before Nick came fully awake. He still felt physically more tired than normal but otherwise, he didn’t feel sick at all. He took extra care to clean himself very thoroughly, with the hope that he and Nick could connect again today. The thought brought a smile to his lips, and a twitch in his cock, but he ignored it, wanting to save that feeling for Nick.

He toweled off and slipped into fresh briefs and pajamas and climbed back into bed, cuddling next to Nick, who stirred at his arrival.

“Char? You alright?” Nick murmured sleepily.

Charlie nodded, placing a quick peck on Nick’s chest and laid his head there again, melting into Nick, sighing contentedly. 

“Nick? Did I imagine it yesterday, or did you go out to the balcony to talk on your phone? I thought I heard you…”

Charlie felt Nick take a deep breath. “Yeah, I did. I was talking to my mom. Um, so, yeah…I got a response from David, to the email Imogen and I sent to him?” his voice lifting in question, as if Charlie could forget the anguish it had caused Nick to have to write that letter.

Nodding into Nick, he tightened his arms around him, signaling him to continue.

“Well, basically it was the worst thing I’ve ever read and I don’t even want to repeat the hateful things he said,” Nick sniffed before continuing, his voice thick, “Essentially, what it comes down to is, I can’t ever be around him again. I don't feel emotionally safe with him, nor would I expect my children to ever feel comfortable around him again. So, I called Mom to tell her, so she heard it from me and not him, that I would be sending an email to cut contact with him unless circumstances were to change about how he feels about us.”  

Charlie lifted his head, looked into Nick’s eyes and raised his thumb to Nick’s cheek, wiping at the tears slowly trickling down, before kissing him softly and whispering his love to him. Resting their foreheads together, he asked, “Are you alright, love?” 

Nick nodded slowly, his eyes looking away in deep thought. “Actually, I think I am. My mom was so supportive and said she would also tell him any homophobic or transphobic language would not be tolerated by her, otherwise she would have to make the same decision I had. I feel…hopeful, I guess, that this whole thing will bring us closer and she’ll be an even stronger ally than she has been in the past.”

Charlie grinned, “I’m proud of her, it’s hard to grow and do better sometimes. I’m glad you and the kids won’t lose her in your lives.”

“Me too.”

Nick gave a little shudder beneath him. “Fuck, I need to get up,” he muttered, quickly pulling himself from under Charlie and hurrying into the bathroom. Charlie laughed at his haste which made Nick yell from across the hall, “Give me a break! I didn’t want to leave you!”

While Charlie waited for Nick to come back, he scrolled through all the notifications he had missed since he was sick and groaned at the realization that it was already Sunday, meaning he had to go to work tomorrow. Since Christmas was on a Wednesday this year, they had decided to open the office Monday to accommodate all the people who were off for the week and would take advantage of the availability, but Charlie was seriously considering the sanity of this decision at the moment. (Oh well, at least it was only one day and then off for a whole week.) He pulled himself to sitting on the side of the bed, stretching his arms above his head, his shirt riding up, releasing the tension from his limbs that had accumulated due to his recent inactivity.

“Fuck Charlie…” Nick was stopped in the doorway, staring at the strip of exposed skin between his shirt and pajama pants, looking like he wanted to eat him alive. Charlie giggled, and pulled his shirt back down, standing up from the bed on shaky legs. 

“Wait, where are you going? I thought…” Nick’s voice trailed off, his eyes burning into Charlie’s.

Charlie blushed under Nick’s intense gaze but held his ground. “I need food first, Nick. I haven’t eaten in…” he glanced at his phone, “38 hours…I can’t have sex with no energy, especially not the kind of sex you want to have today…right?”

Nick huffed, looking at the floor and blushed himself, “Yeah, OK. You’re right…”

“Plus, babe, you’ll have to…” Charlie looked expectantly at Nick, hoping he’d catch his drift without him having to spell it out for him.

“Oh! Of course…should I not…eat…now then?” Nick asked hesitantly. 

Charlie shook his head, “No, of course you can eat.”

Nick nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. Charlie went over to him, wrapping his arms around his neck, and kissed him gently, his tongue lightly tracing Nick’s lips. 

“I promise to take good care of you darling, don’t worry,” he assured Nick. “Come on, let’s have something to eat and coffee. I’m starving.”

They sat together at their small kitchen table, both eating a piece of toast and a half of a banana with Nick adding two fried eggs to his. They sipped their coffee slowly, talking more about how Nick was feeling about his brother until eventually, he stood to collect their dishes to load into the dishwasher.

“I think…I’m done being upset about it. It won’t change anything so it’s just not worth it anymore,” Nick stated emphatically. 

“Are you sure? I want to listen, if you want to keep talking,” Charlie said.

“No, I’m alright. I was - am - furious, but it won’t do me any good to just keep going over and over it so I’d rather focus on the good, on us right now.”

Charlie agreed, standing to get himself a new glass of water and rinse out his coffee mug. He’d only had one cup but he didn’t want to push his tender stomach today, not when he had plans with Nick.

“How are you feeling, Char? Is your food settling alright?” Nick inquired.

“I feel good, still a bit worn out and tired, but good. What do you want to do today? I think we’re stuck staying at home,” he gestured out the window, at the inches of new snow that had fallen overnight.

Nick looked at him with raised eyebrows, inclining his head towards the bedroom.

Charlie laughed, “Not yet, babe. I should wait for a while, OK? Also…” he trailed off, forcing himself to meet Nick’s eyes. “Ummmm…”

Nick chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, then came over to Charlie and took his hand, leading him to the couch where they cuddled together under the blankets. Charlie took Nick’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“So, yeah, uh…I’ve been doing some research…” Nick began.

“Of course you have,” Charlie teased, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Hey! I just…I want to do everything right, so that it’s a good experience for both of us,” Nick defended himself. 

Charlie ducked his head, “You’re right, I’m sorry for teasing you,” he apologized. “What did you learn in your research? If you want to talk about it.”

“Well, OK I guess I had built it up to this big thing, like that I had to, I don't know, not eat and like, completely be empty first…and it turns out that’s not true. So, yeah that’s good.” Charlie nodded, encouraging him to go on. “And everything I read said I should practice on my own first, so, um, this week, in the shower…I’ve been…you know, fingering myself.” Nick flushed red, refusing to meet Charlie’s eyes.

Charlie leaned over to him, turning his face to look at him, “Baby, did you like it? Fingering yourself?”

He felt a stirring in his belly as he saw Nick’s eyes darken and his breath quicken as he nodded and whispered, “Yes.”

“Good,” Charlie replied, his voice raspy. He cleared his throat and pulled away a bit. “What else?”

“Uh, it sounds like the only other thing is to try and go to the bathroom a while before, and to shower very thoroughly, like you do.”

“Nick, I’m so proud of you for looking into all of that on your own. I would have talked to you about it, if you’d asked, you know.”

Nick let out a sigh, “I know, I just didn't want you to have to…like…I don’t want you to feel like you’re holding my hand through it or anything.”

“Nick…” Charlie never wanted Nick to feel like he couldn’t talk to him, or that he was a burden to Charlie, but he could also understand him not wanting to feel like Charlie had to guide him through everything the first time, like his own personal gay sherpa. The thought made Charlie giggle and then all of a sudden, he couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Charlie! What the hell is so funny about that?” Nick demanded.

Charlie tried to take deep breaths, tried to hold his laughter in, “Nothing,” he wheezed, “I get it…you don’t want…me to…” The image of the sherpa filled his mind again and he laughed harder. Nick stared at him incredulously, waiting for him to calm down. Finally, he was able to catch his breath, curling his lips in over his teeth to try and stop laughing.

“Sorry, somehow I got the image in my head of you not wanting me to be your gay sherpa and I couldn't help myself…”

Nick cocked his head, his eyes scrunching up, obviously trying hard not to laugh now too, as the image filled his head. He held off for about thirty seconds before he too burst out laughing, which sent Charlie spiralling into it again. Their amusement broke the tension and soon they were leaning in to kiss each other, hands roving, tongues tentatively flicking the other. Charlie could feel his desire building so he pulled away, leaning back into his own side of the couch. 

“Do you want to watch a movie? Or play a game? I really do want to wait until later when I have enough energy,” Charlie said.

Nick nodded, “Yeah, I get it. Um, Christmas movie?”

Charlie smiled and reached for the remote, flipping to the app with one of his favorites he hadn’t watched this year yet, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation , looking over to Nick with a question in his eyes who nodded enthusiastically. They spent the next couple of hours watching the movie, playing a couple of hands of cribbage, lightly snacking, and then chose a different movie. About halfway through the second movie, Nick disappeared for a few minutes before settling down next to Charlie again, pulling his legs into his lap to finish the movie.

When it was over, Nick stood and stretched, then turned to Charlie with a shy smile, “Um, I’m going to take a shower then…” Charlie’s eyes widened and the blood in his body began to rush south. He nodded mutely, staring at Nick’s ass as he walked away and reminded himself to breathe. It had been a while since he had done this too, so even though he was more confident than Nick about it, he was still nervous. But, it was Nick and they loved each other and that was all that mattered. He took a couple of deep breaths of his own before he made his way to the bedroom, stopping at the linen closet first to collect a towel for the bed. He removed the lube from the drawer, making sure there was enough because he knew he’d want to use a decent amount. He also got out a condom, in case Nick felt more comfortable using one their first time. 

The butterflies really kicked up in his stomach when he heard the shower turn off and he sat down on his side of the bed to try and calm himself down. He shuffled himself to sit against the headboard, feeling his cock starting to thicken, knowing what was coming. He closed his eyes tightly, willing it to slow down; he wanted this to last and he wanted to take his time and really take care of Nick. Nick, who he loved more than his own self, who had taken care of him in so many ways since they met. Today, this experience was a chance for Charlie to love and take care of Nick.

A soft smile had spread across his face as he’d been thinking these thoughts, calming his racing heart and slowly down his body’s response. When Nick walked through the door, completely naked, Charlie’s mouth went dry.

“Jesus Christ, Nick, you’re stunning,” Charlie said in awe.

“And you are overdressed,” Nick teased.

Charlie hurriedly ripped his shirt off and pulled his pajama pants and underwear off. He didn’t need to take his time with this part, he reasoned. Nick climbed onto the end of the bed and crawled up to Charlie, straddling his hips and sank slowly down to sit in his lap, his hands gripping the headboard behind Charlie. Charlie cupped both sides of Nick’s face, gazing at him adoringly, and pulled him down for a heated kiss. His thumbs traced Nick’s cheekbones as he tilted their heads to deepen the kiss, his tongue flicking gently along Nick’s lips, seeking entrance. Nick moaned against Charlie’s lips and opened his mouth to chase Charlie’s tongue with his own. Charlie’s hands slid lower along Nick’s shoulders as they continued kissing, gently massaging as he mapped his torso with his fingers.

Nick released the headboard and threaded his fingers through Charlie’s curls and tilted his head, breaking the kiss to trail his lips along Charlie’s pulse point to the spot where Charlie’s neck met his collarbone and sucked gently, just long enough to leave a small mark, causing Charlie to gasp in pleasure. They returned to each other’s lips, growing more desperate now, their breaths coming in shorter pants and punctuated with small sounds of pleasure. 

Charlie pulled back, trying to calm his racing heart, to slow this down so they could enjoy each other fully. He wanted to absorb all of it, to commit each movement and touch to memory. Charlie kissed his way down Nick’s torso and pressed his lips gently around Nick’s right nipple, his tongue slicking back and forth over it until it was beaded up and he moved to the other, feeling Nick begin to writhe slowly above him, their cocks brushing against the other’s.

“Charlie, you’re amazing, I love you…”

Charlie pulled back and looked Nick deep in the eyes, “God Nick, I love you so much. I can’t wait to take care of you…”

He slowly lowered his hand to Nick’s cock, wrapped around it, and stroked it gently while he kissed him. His other hand trailed down Nick’s side and he cupped it under his ass and gave a gentle pulse before applying pressure, indicating to Nick to lift off him. As he continued stroking him, they slowly laid down to face each other, and Charlie pulled the blanket over them to keep warm. They were both shivering, not knowing if it was from cold or anticipation. Never taking his attention away from Nick, he made his way lower, aligning his lips to Nick’s cock and licked from base to tip, pausing to suck the head and swallow the precum beaded there. Nick groaned deeply, raising himself up into Charlie’s mouth and he took him as deep as he could, thrilling at the noises Nick was making.

“Wanna taste you too Char, can you flip around?” Nick rasped out.

Not wanting to separate from him even for a second, Charlie maneuvered himself carefully up and across Nick’s body until Nick could reach him as well, all the while continuing to suck and stroke Nick’s length.

“Fuck Charlie, you’re so good at that…” Nick breathed before he cupped his hand around Charlie’s balls and took his cock deep in his throat, the angle allowing him to swallow nearly all of Charlie.

He groaned deeply around Nick, his body alight with the sensations Nick was setting off, and then moved his mouth lower, gently teasing Nick’s taint, spreading him open for Charlie to explore. He wanted to worship, to touch every part of Nick, to connect them in every way.

“Oh god…” Nick whispered, using his hand to pump around Charlie now. Charlie took this as a good sign and went a little further down, gently tracing Nick’s hole with his finger and then his tongue, alternating for maximum pleasure for Nick. Nick had gotten louder, the longer Charlie worked him until Charlie couldn’t stand it any longer and flipped himself around to capture Nick’s lips with his own. They crashed together over and over, moaning softly and breathing rapidly. 

“Char, can you…I’m ready now Char, please…”

Charlie reached his hand towards the side table, desperately trying to reach the lube without having to climb off of Nick. He stretched himself flat on top of him and just got it, wiggling their hips together for a bit of relief, before pulling himself up to kneel between Nick’s legs. 

“You sure?” Charlie waited for Nick’s consent before snapping the top open at Nick’s nod. 

“You’re so gorgeous like this Nick…god, I could just look at you all day…” Charlie whispered.

As he warmed the lube around his fingers, he kissed his way slowly from one of Nick’s knees to his dick and then from the other, before hooking his other hand around Nick’s hip saying, “Turn over for me baby, up on your knees.” When Nick complied, Charlie leaned over his back, kissing along his spine until Nick was holding himself up on his elbows, his beautiful ass on display for Charlie now. “It’s easier this way, especially the first time,” Charlie murmured, “at least for me.”

Nick nodded into the mattress. “I trust you Charlie…please, please touch me now. I want…I want you to touch me,” his voice thick with desire. 

Charlie groaned in response, “Oh my god Nick…Fuck, the way you make me feel…”

Charlie settled behind Nick, resting back on his heels, knowing he was going to be there awhile, to take the time to make sure Nick was really ready for him, to love him as deeply as he could. He traced patterns on one round cheek with his left hand as he gently circled Nick’s rim, spreading the lube, before gently pushing his way in. The sensation of Nick around his finger jolted within him and he closed his eyes and groaned. 

“Fuck Nick…take deep breaths baby…” Charlie instructed, following his own advice. When he felt Nick relax, he went deeper, continuing this routine until his finger was fully inside, and able to stroke in and out easily. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Nick’s flushed skin, slowly extracting his finger and applying more lube, checking in before he started the process over again with two fingers. 

Nick huffed to him to continue, praising Charlie for his care and gentleness. Charlie flushed with pleasure at Nick’s words and slowly nudged his way in again, taking time to stretch Nick gently, his other hand now reaching around and stroking Nick’s length slowly, fingertips grazing the tender skin as he worked him open. Nick started to slowly rock back and forth into his hand, indicating to Charlie he was ready for another finger.

Slowly and carefully he released Nick who whined at the absence, Charlie reassuring him he wasn’t finished yet. He crawled up the bed a little around Nick, and cradled his chin towards him and gave him a leisurely kiss. “I love you,” he sighed, before returning to opening him up. 

With a generous addition of more lube, Charlie added the third finger and scissored them inside, alternatively stretching and seeking Nick’s prostate. When he found it, Nick let out a shout, his body shuddering at the sensation, and Charlie encouraged him to relax, let himself feel it all, let Charlie shower him with affection. Nick moaned and rocked back and forth again, seeking that pleasure again and Charlie obliged until he felt like he couldn’t hold on any longer without being inside Nick.

“Nick, darling, you’ve done so well. Do you think, are you ready for me now?” Charlie gasped out brokenly.

In response, Nick sighed heavily, “Finally! Yes Charlie, now, please...”

Charlie laid himself over Nick’s back again, kissing his shoulder, allowing his cock to drag across Nick’s entrance, before he pulled upright and coated himself in lube and poured extra on Nick as well, just to be sure he was comfortable. Charlie squeezed his eyes shut tightly, unable to watch for fear of coming too quickly, and gripped his base firmly as he slowly, inch by inch, pressed his way into Nick, checking in each time before he moved further, encouraging Nick and reminding him to breathe, to relax. 

He had to remind himself to pause and take it all in as well; never before had he felt like this, the connection and love and care between them magnifying every sensation until Charlie was nearly overcome. He felt tears welling in his eyes, he was utterly incapable of containing his emotions, and he gasped rapidly, simultaneously trying not to cry and not to come at the same time. 

“Char? You OK?” Nick lifted his head and turned to look at Charlie, worry evident in his expression. Charlie nodded but even still, Nick pushed himself up so his back connected with Charlie’s chest and turned his head to give him an awkward kiss.

“I just…I love you so much, I guess I'm a bit overwhelmed by it at the moment,” Charlie admitted.  

“Do you, do you want to stop?” Nick asked.

“No! No, that’s not it…I just can’t believe that you’re here, with me , like this . It’s just…all I’ve ever wanted Nick. You are all I’ve ever wanted…” Charlie whispered, allowing a few tears to fall.

Nick carefully pulled away from Charlie and then turned to face him, wrapping his arms around him and kissed him fervently, “You are all I’ve ever wanted too, Charlie. You’re all I’m ever going to want.” They hugged tightly for a few moments, just breathing each other in, before Charlie pulled back.

“Nick, turn back around.”

Nick’s eyes widened, and he moved immediately, returning to his former position. Charlie added more lube to them both and entered Nick again, gently still but not nearly as slowly. He was desperate now to pour everything he had, all of himself, into Nick.

“Are you ready, baby? Can I move?” he grunted out, reigning himself in until Nick gave him permission. 

At Nick’s nod, he slowly pulled out before sliding all the way back in and laid over Nick, supporting himself on one hand while the other reached underneath them to stroke Nick, using the copious amounts of precum dripping there to touch him while he moved within him. He forced himself to keep a slow pace, increasing by infinitesimal degrees to prolong their pleasure, both of them groaning and whining and uttering endearments. 

When Charlie wasn’t sure he could hold back any longer, he urged Nick, “Come for me baby, I want you to come for me now.” 

At Charlie’s words, Nick whimpered, the pitch of his breaths increased and Charlie felt him tighten up and spill into his hand, keening loudly as he came. The pulsing of Nick’s orgasm around Charlie made him come so quickly he could barely hold himself up, collapsing across Nick’s back in exhaustion, the two of them prone on the bed. Charlie slid gently in and out of Nick as he came down from the peak before he crawled up Nick’s back, peppering kisses in his wake, up his spine, across both shoulders, before resting at his neck, tucking his chin into Nick’s shoulder and breathing heavily. Nick wrapped one hand behind to grip the back of Charlie’s head, and the other to grasp his thigh, holding the man he loved firmly against him, as they came down together.

Charlie lay cuddled against Nick’s back for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only a few minutes, kissing his neck softly every few seconds. He felt so connected to Nick, as if they were one person and not two. He had known he loved Nick for months but this connection felt like it was deeper somehow and he couldn’t even put it into words. He sighed deeply, in complete contentment.

It wasn’t long before the cool air permeated their overheated bodies and Charlie carefully rolled off Nick and forced himself to stand up. 

“Nick, darling, come on. We need to clean up,” he said gently, rubbing his hand slowly down Nick’s back, avoiding the mess he had made there. “Let me take care of you in the shower, OK?”

Nick rolled over, his expression one of complete awe, and struggled to stand, Charlie supporting him as he did. 

“Char, that was…” Charlie held his breath, hoping Nick’s next words were positive. “That was more than I ever could have imagined…I’m not sure I have words to describe how I’m feeling right now.”

Charlie hugged him close, “I know Nick, I feel the same.” Taking him by the hand, he led Nick into the bathroom and into the shower when the water was hot. He gently washed Nick’s body, taking care to be gentle where he might be sore, and, after washing himself quickly as well, held him under the water until it began to cool. Once they were dry, they slipped into clean underwear and lounge clothes before making their way to the couch to cuddle.

“Nick, are you sure you’re OK? I didn’t hurt you?” Charlie checked in again.

“God, Charlie…honestly that was the best thing I think I’ve ever experienced. I mean, yeah, I’m a little sore now but like, in a good way, you know?” Charlie nodded. “I guess, I love it the other way so much, when I top, that I didn’t expect to love bottoming as much but…” Nick shrugged, grinning at Charlie. 

Charlie chuckled, “I know what you mean. Something about that, just now, was like, almost other-wordly, even though I know that’s a bit dramatic.”

Nick kissed him soundly and said, “It was.”

They clasped hands and stayed there for a while, just chatting softly before both of their stomachs started to growl. They laughed and got up to make soup and grilled cheese for lunch, talking about their plans for the holidays; Charlie complained about having to go to work the next day. They spent the rest of the day just hanging out, watching Christmas movies, reading side-by-side, utterly content to just be together.

Charlie’s day at work Monday went by surprisingly quickly, with the schedule full and everyone feeling the air of expectation for the upcoming week off work. Charlie ordered lunch from the Mexican place he’d eaten at with his parents for his staff so they could celebrate together and they all left at the end of the day with their arms laden with the treats Rachel and Melissa had brought to share. Charlie hugged Tori before leaving, reminding her that he and Nick would be over for dessert on Christmas evening with their parents and Olly, after spending the day with Nick’s family. She nodded and told him how happy it made her to see him so happy and settled. Charlie didn’t know how he was so fortunate to have her as his sister, always on his side.

The next day was Christmas Eve and Charlie and Nick spent it in typical, ridiculous American fashion - finishing their last minute shopping. They both had finished the bulk of their Christmas lists but with Charlie getting sick over the weekend, they had lost a few days they had intended to spend securing the last of their presents and the food they were bringing to share. They went to the big box store first where they chose various gift cards for Charlie’s family and got a bunch of things to use as stocking stuffers for Nick’s teenagers as well as the food. Then they stopped at the sporting goods store where Charlie got another gift card for Ryan to go with the Mariners tickets he had reserved and Nick went next door to the nail salon and bought a mani/pedi treatment for Imogen. Nick and Imogen had already bought or ordered the kids’ larger gifts and they were already wrapped and at the house, but it was Nick’s favorite thing to do the stockings so he still did it himself. Charlie was excited to help this year, having bought a small gift for each of the kids to pack inside.

They spent the afternoon wrapping their gifts, going into separate rooms to wrap the little things they had for each other. For dinner, they baked lemon chicken, couscous and salad because it was easy so they could spend their time preparing their contribution for Christmas Day. Imogen and Sarah were planning the dinner while the two of them were bringing the brunch. Charlie made a quiche, covered it in plastic wrap and placed it in the fridge to bake at the house in the morning. Nick, who loved to bake, made his family’s traditional Christmas cinnamon rolls, lined up neatly in their pans for the morning. Charlie giggled at the realization that they’d had the same special occasion tradition, as if they were made to continue celebrating them together. They chopped the fruit that wouldn’t spoil into their salad bowl and would add the bananas and apples to the berries and pineapple in the morning. Charlie practically force-fed Nick pineapple and ate a large portion himself, giggling and telling him he’d understand later.

Before bed, they curled up in front of their Christmas tree to exchange their own gifts, having decided it would likely always be the best time to have their own alone time to do it. After they’d exchanged the little inconsequential gifts, a tuxedo design apron Charlie had bought at the fall festival, a new headlamp for Charlie for running, plus a few others - including a couple of fun items for the bedroom - Charlie handed Nick the box from the jewelry store. He could barely contain his excitement to see Nick’s reaction, hoping he would love it. He was not disappointed. Nick’s eyes were shining as he leaned in to kiss Charlie, grinning as he did so.

“I’ve never had a nice watch before…it's so pretty,” he exclaimed, pulling it out of the box and putting it on. He kept flinging his arm around, making Charlie laugh, as he examined how it looked from every angle, before he pulled it close to adjust the time. “Oh fuck, Char, it’s not working. I think it’s broken.”

Charlie laughed again, “No, it’s not broken. It’s powered by light, so it’s just been in the box too long. The saleswoman said to just put it under a lamp overnight and it’ll run for days even with no new light on it.”

“Oh, OK,” Nick said, reluctantly taking it off and placed it under the lamp on the table next to the couch. “I’ll wear it tomorrow,” he said brightly, cheering up at the thought, before he reached under the tree and handed Charlie a thin box.

Charlie had no idea what could be in it. He knew it wasn’t a ring, the box was the wrong size, but he had a feeling it might also be some kind of jewelry. When he opened the delicate pouch inside the box, and a thin silver chain slid out into his palm, his heart nearly burst. He had always wanted something small and delicate, but still masculine, that he could wear even at work. The style of chain was perfect for his tastes and it would slide easily under his scrubs at work. He tentatively held it out to Nick, asking him to help put it on. Nick struggled with the tiny clasp and his thick fingers but eventually had it secured and Charlie traced his fingertips lightly over the smooth metal, a smile lighting up his face. He loved it, and he loved Nick. After telling him so, they kissed for a while there, sitting on their couch in front of their Christmas tree, enjoying their first Christmas Eve together.  

Chapter Text

Nick

Nick always felt like a kid on Christmas morning, despite his 43-year-old body reminding him otherwise. He had fallen into a deep, sated sleep after they had sucked each other off following their gift exchange and cuddle session. Nick was shocked when Charlie had tasted slightly sweeter than normal and Charlie had giggled that it was the pineapple before he had hungrily taken Nick deep to enjoy it as well. They had kissed languidly afterwards, tasting each other on their tongues, and had lain entwined until sleep overtook them.

He woke early, before the alarm he had set, excitement bubbling inside to spend the day with his kids and his and Charlie’s families. Charlie lay next to him, hair splayed out across his pillow, the curls having turned into a fluffy mess, the streaks of grey lightening it. Nick smiled fondly at him, leaning over to place a small peck on his cheek, before he stood and attempted to stretch the soreness from his limbs. Despite his athleticism, the overworking of his knees and shoulders from his own years playing baseball often meant he was stiff and uncomfortable in the mornings until he started moving. 

He stopped by the kitchen first, removing the cinnamon roll pans from the fridge so they could start the rising process, and then headed into the bathroom to take care of his morning needs. He was mid-shower when he heard the door open and he peeked out to say ‘Merry Christmas!’ to Charlie who was still bleary-eyed making his way to the toilet. Closing the shower door again, he chuckled at Charlie’s morning grumpiness as he hurried to finish his shower so he could make coffee for him, to cheer him up. 

“Can I join?” 

Nick jumped a mile, startled because he thought Charlie had gone back to bed. “Jesus Christ, you scared me!”

Charlie came closer, a teasing look on his face, “I don’t think you should swear like that on Christmas,” making a “tsk”ing sound as he said it.

Nick shrugged. “You know I don’t believe in that stuff though,” he said as he wrapped his arms around Charlie, pulling him into the stream. 

“Good morning, baby,” Nick whispered into his ear, gently rolling his now-alert cock against Charlie’s. “Can I give you a Christmas present?”

“Nick…” Charlie giggled, lifting up his toes to create better friction. “Do we have time?”

Nick gestured down at their erections rubbing against each other, “I don’t think it’ll take long…” before crashing his lips into Charlie’s, dragging his lower one into Nick’s mouth, sucking gently. Charlie groaned and reached behind Nick to grab his butt cheek, pulling them impossibly closer. Nick tightened his hold around Charlie’s waist as they began to rise and fall against each other, their cocks occasionally meeting, their lips and tongues never separating. 

Nick started to feel Charlie begin to shake, his body chasing a release from Nick’s and, feeling bolder than normal, he reached his hand to grasp around Charlie’s cock and rasped firmly into Charlie’s ear, “Come for me baby. Come, now…”

Charlie’s eyes widened at Nick’s command, him usually being the one leading Nick like that, before he whimpered in pleasure and then came with a shout, shooting cum up across Nick’s chest, the shower washing it away. Nick smiled down at him, thrilled at the effect he had on Charlie, and kissed him again deeply. 

“Nick, god, that was so hot. I love you baby…now it’s your turn,” Charlie said, his hand gripping Nick’s cock, stroking him in sync with Nick’s thrusts. Nick felt his orgasm rush upon him suddenly and he leaned his forehead down on Charlie’s shoulder as he pulsed heavily into Charlie’s fist. 

When they had both come down from their high, Charlie nudged Nick out of the spray so he could wash up. Nick whined that he'd rather stay in the hot water, wrapped around Charlie, but was firmly reminded that they had to be at the house in an hour, and Charlie needed coffee first. Reluctantly, Nick slid out of the shower, dried off and went to start the coffee brewing before he got ready for the day. His family always stayed in their pajamas until they had to go anywhere on Christmas, so he and Charlie were going to bring a change of clothes for later when they went to Tori’s for the evening. For now, he put on his new Christmas pajamas and laid Charlie’s matching ones on the bed for him to get dressed in after his shower. 

Hearing the coffee beep, he hurried into the kitchen, poured both of them a cup and turned off the pot, knowing they would only have time for one cup here - they’d have more at the house with brunch. He carefully carried both cups to the bathroom, for them to sip while they did their hair, ogling a gorgeously naked Charlie in the mirror when he entered. 

“Fuck, I’ll never get over seeing you like this, Char,” Nick said huskily.

“Nick…” Charlie sighed, shoving him gently on the shoulder, but the blush on his cheeks proved to Nick he liked the compliment. 

Nick quickly pulled some hair wax through his hair and then went back to the kitchen to start packing everything into large bags for the short drive to the house. Once he had all the food secured, he went to check on Charlie’s progress, finding him still fussing with his curls. 

“Ugh, this one just won’t stay!” Charlie muttered, the frustration evident in his voice. 

“You look gorgeous all the time, Char. I like your wild curls,” Nick said, unable to keep the adoration out of his voice as his finger traced the curl in question. Placing his finger under Charlie’s chin, he turned him to meet his lips for a quick kiss before reminding him they needed to head out if they were going to get there before the kids woke up. It was important to him to have the stockings ready for the kids to see them when they first came into the living room on Christmas morning. Charlie nodded, and hurried to the bedroom to get dressed, grabbing their bag with the clothes for later on his way out. 

After finishing off the last of their coffee as they scrambled about packing the gifts and stockings, they laced up their snow boots and bundled up in their coats, gloves and scarves (Charlie refused to wear a hat after having just worked so hard on his curls) and managed to get it all to the car in one load. They sang along to the cheerful Christmas music, feeling very festive as the sun slowly lit the day, brightening the beautiful snow that covered the earth. They didn’t get snow every year at Christmas anymore, but Nick was so glad they did this year, his first with Charlie. It just felt more like Christmas somehow. 

They pulled up to the house, smiling at the multi-colored lights still visible in the early morning hue, reflecting off the snow. Nick opened the garage door, so they could go in through the lower entrance and leave their wet boots away from the activity of the day, and quietly greeted Imogen at her bedroom door before creeping up the stairs to the living room. 

Quickly, before starting any of the food, he unpacked and arranged the four stockings in front of the gas fireplace and took a picture of them and the loaded tree as evidence before the mayhem began. He turned towards the kitchen island to help with the food, but was surprised to see Charlie had turned on the oven himself, arranged the quiche and rolls to go in to bake, and had pulled out the cutting board and a knife to complete the fruit salad. His heart swelled, even though it wasn’t really his own house anymore (it was feeling more and more like Imogen’s house, and the apartment with Charlie, as his) , he was pleased Charlie felt so comfortable to make himself at home and go to work on food prep. Nick gave him a quick peck on the cheek as he passed by to start the coffee, knowing most of them would be drinking some shortly. His mom was due to arrive anytime and they planned to eat in about an hour, depending on the time when the rest of the family got up, but since they were teenagers, it was anyone’s guess when they would emerge.

Imogen padded up the stairs in her pajamas, hair tied up in a ponytail, yawning loudly as she looked longingly at the coffee pot. Nick assured her it would be ready soon as he stepped over to help Charlie with the rest of the fruit salad, seeking a piece of the pineapple and winking at him as he did. Charlie’s eyes squeezed shut and Nick could tell he was desperately trying not to laugh. Imogen came over, reaching between them to steal a piece of banana, asking what was so funny, while she gave Charlie a quick side hug and wished him a merry Christmas. Their eyes met over her head and they burst out laughing. 

“Go on, Charlie, tell her,” Nick urged, laughing.

“Nick! No! I can’t tell your ex-wife that!” Charlie said, aghast.

“Oh come on Char, Imogen loves funny stuff about sex, even if she doesn't like having sex herself.”

Charlie buried his face in his hands, no doubt spreading sticky fruit juice all over his cheeks, shaking his head. “Fine, you tell her then, if you don’t care.”

“So, Im,” Nick started, “There’s this thing about pineapple…”

Imogen’s eyes lit up and her grin widened. “Yes…I’ve heard that…Wait?!?! Did you guys…???”

Charlie groaned, looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole, when Nick nodded enthusiastically and laughed.

“I’ve heard cranberries can also do the trick,” laughed Imogen, and Nick waggled his eyebrows at Charlie. 

“You guys are the weirdest exes I’ve ever met,” Charlie deadpanned, picking up the knife once again to finish slicing apples for the salad. 

Nick and Imogen fist bumped and he gave Charlie a soft kiss whispering, “I love you,” under his breath. 

A couple of minutes later, Heidi stumbled down the stairs, “What is all that noise? I was trying to sleep,” she whined loudly.

The three of them traded glances, and burst out laughing again. 

“Merry Christmas sweetheart!” Nick said, hurrying over to hug Heidi good morning. She hugged him back, mumbling against his chest, before she went and curled up next to her stocking on the couch. 

When the food was all in the oven, the fruit salad finished, and the coffee brewed, the other teens slowly drifted into the living room and kitchen, pouring coffee and greeting each other with hugs and “Merry Christmas!”, the soft instrumental Christmas music playing in the background. Once they were all there, they were free to open their stockings and Nick looked on with glee. He didn’t understand why, but the stockings were his favorite. Even Daisy got a small one with special treats and a new chewing toy to entertain her for the day. He’d worked hard to find little things they’d like: key chains, makeup, gift cards, fandom trinkets, snacks, anything small enough to fit inside that made him think of them. Charlie had wanted to pack a little something in for each of them, but by the time Nick had filled them last night, they were already stuffed so Charlie had just wrapped his gifts for the kids after all.

When all the merriment of opening the stockings had passed, Nick pulled himself from sitting on the floor, his knees cracking as he did so (which, of course, Charlie had to give him shit for) , to check the cinnamon rolls so they wouldn’t burn. Charlie joined him at the oven door, peeking in at the quiche he had made, before returning to the living room. The batch of rolls was ready so Nick slid them onto a rack to cool so he could frost them soon. The quiche was nearly ready as well so Nick started setting the table while Sean came in and started another pot of coffee. Charlie was sitting on the couch talking quietly to Niles and every time Nick glanced their way, he felt a flutter in his heart. It was like the universe knew Niles would need someone who could understand his struggles, who was living proof that things did get better eventually, and dropped Charlie into their family at just the right time.

Sarah arrived a few minutes later, arms laden with packages, snow dusting her light grey hair and jacket. Matt helped her lay the presents around the tree and then went out to the car to collect the drinks she had brought for their celebrations. She was planning to stay until mid-afternoon when she would go to David’s for the evening, her desire to see her grandkids forcing her to try and remain peaceful with their family.

Charlie hopped up from the couch when the timer beeped for the quiche and pulled it out to set it alongside the rolls which Nick was carefully frosting with the homemade fluffy cream cheese frosting he had made, leaning over to examine Nick’s handiwork. 

“You missed a spot…right there,” Charlie said, pointing where there was definitely no gap in the frosting before he swiped a big dollop of it onto his finger and stuck it in his mouth, sucking at it seductively and staring right into Nick’s eyes as he did. 

“Jesus Charlie, seriously?!? I’m wearing loose pajama pants and my mother is here!” Nick tried to sound annoyed but honestly, he loved how flirty Charlie still was with him, even after all these months.

“What?” Charlie asked, looking all innocent now. “That’s your problem if that turned you on.”

“You little shit…” Nick muttered, only loud enough for Charlie to hear. Charlie chuckled and moved away to get a knife to cut the quiche into squares for serving and retrieved the metal serving spatula. 

Once Nick was satisfied with the icing on the rolls, he asked Matt (the only one tall enough besides himself and Charlie) to get the glass flutes from the upper cupboard for everyone’s drinks. His mom had brought orange juice and champagne for mimosas and sparkling apple juice for the kids, as well as various other speciality drinks for later. He glanced around the countertop and at everything on the table, making sure it was ready before calling everyone to gather around to eat. 

They dished up self-serve style, so each person could take as much, or as little, as they wanted. Nick was relieved to see Niles serve himself a full plate, seeming relaxed and comfortable around the family on Christmas. They quickly dug into eating, knowing as soon as they finished their food, it was time for the presents. Some things never change; no matter how old you are, presents always make everyone excited. They chatted and laughed as they ate, sharing funny stories of previous Christmases which Nick worried might make Charlie feel uncomfortable since most of them were from when Nick and Imogen were married, but he just laughed along with everyone, his hand gripping Nick’s thigh under the table occasionally when the story was something particularly funny Nick had done.

Everyone was stuffed by the time they finished eating. Nick and Charlie collected the dishes and while Charlie loaded the dishwasher, Nick wrapped the leftovers and set them outside on the back deck. It was cold enough out there to keep perishables safe without wasting precious fridge space since it was currently very full of food for the late afternoon meal. With a chorus of ‘thank-you's' the group refilled their hot drinks and migrated back to the living room area to wait for Nick and Charlie to finish the clean up, a relative silence filling the space other than the clanking of dishes.   

Together, they finished pretty quickly and the noise level increased again as the anticipation of opening presents heightened when Nick and Charlie topped off their own coffees and came into the living room. Imogen quickly told Heidi and Niles, sitting next to each other on the couch, to give up their spaces since “they were younger and could sit comfortably on the floor, unlike their two old-man dads.” Everyone took a collective gasp when she referred to Charlie as one of their dads but Imogen just shrugged.

“I mean, that’s who he is, right? We all feel that way about Charlie, so there’s no reason not to acknowledge it.”

Charlie set his mug down and immediately went over to Imogen to hug her tightly, Nick looking on with red-rimmed eyes, trying to hold back the tears he saw spilling out of Charlie’s. The two whispered to each other for a moment, quiet enough no one else could hear, but could guess what was said. When Charlie pulled away, he mumbled a soft ‘thank you’ and kissed her on the cheek, before he picked up his mug again and sat in the space Niles had vacated for him. Nick sat gently next to him, wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him into his side, placing a gentle kiss in his hair. 

“Alright, alright, enough of the sappy stuff,” Sean said. “Are we opening presents now or what?”

They laughed and Nick said, “Yep. How about you do the honors of passing them out this year then?” He was happy to just sit and enjoy watching the fun, rather than squatting in front of the tree searching through the presents and then standing to deliver to the recipient, over and over again all morning. His knees hurt just thinking about it. He’d rather save his strength for Charlie later.

With very little timeline for the rest of the day, they took their time with the present opening. The kids exclaimed in excitement for many of their gifts (the fun ones) and muttered soft thanks for others (the practical ones). Imogen was very grateful for the spa day Nick had gifted to her, and they must have been of one mind, because she had given Nick and Charlie a couples massage. His mom had similarly given them a joint gift, a weekend get-away to the mountains in February. 

Nick was touched by Charlie’s presents to the kids, because he knew Charlie had been nervous and had spent hours agonizing over what to get, not being a sentimental kind of person as it related to gift giving. For Sean, he had purchased two tickets to a Broadway show Sean had mentioned during one of their Facetime calls; Matt received the Mariners ticket, and Charlie explained that Ryan had the companion ticket to go together. He had made an appointment for joint pedicures with Heidi and himself and for Niles, he had bought him his own set of drumsticks. The way this man, the love of his life, cared about and was becoming a part of his family melted Nick’s tender heart, making him fall even deeper in love with Charlie than he had thought possible. 

The rest of the day with his family was spent talking, laughing, playing games, reading, Mario Kart racing, and eating the delicious food Imogen prepared for a late lunch. It was the perfect reminder for Nick of why he was so glad that while he and Imogen had separated as a couple, they had stayed friends and co-parents for their kids. They were a testament to loving each other enough to let the other go, to create a new version of their family, one that was fuller and richer in ways neither could have expected.

By late afternoon, Nick and Charlie both felt like they were in a food coma, having eaten more already than on any given normal day, and they still were expected at Tori’s for dessert with Charlie’s family. Nick had spent some time with them, having been invited for Sunday brunch occasionally, and he felt very comfortable with Tori, Michael and Ryan, but he hadn’t met Olly yet. He had arrived back in town late Christmas Eve night so they hadn’t had the chance to see each other. Charlie raved about how amazing Olly was, a generally joyful and positive person, and how excited he was to see him.

They left the house a little before four, planning to go straight there, having changed quickly out of their matching pajamas into casual/nice clothes for the evening. Charlie had prepared Nick that his family would likely be more formal than his own and warned him that he might get bored. Nick didn’t think so with Michael around as he was a person filled with boundless energy and enthusiasm for life and he was sure they would have a good time. 

Charlie knocked as he went into Tori’s family apartment, calling out his greeting as he entered. Even though it was in the same complex as theirs, Tori and Michael’s was a two bedroom and had a much larger open kitchen-dining-living room area to accommodate all of them. Charlie had told Nick about Christmases as a child in his family, where the entire extended family would come together, filling his parents house with noise and stress. After Charlie’s time at the hospital in high school, and a couple of disastrous Christmases afterwards, they had begged their parents to scale back on the event. It had taken a few more years of progressively fewer and fewer people being invited but eventually, they celebrated the holiday itself as they do now, with just their immediate family.

As Nick and Charlie were the last to arrive, they hurried out of their coats, shoved their feet into the slippers they left there since they visited often, and joined the group in the living room. Charlie hugged his parents and siblings, Nick following behind with handshakes and side hugs until they came to Olly. Oliver looked like a younger, slightly taller version of Charlie - the same blue eyes and curly dark hair, minus the few greys, startling Nick in their similarity. As Nick reached out to shake Olly’s hand when Charlie introduced them, he laughed and pulled him into a hug instead.

“I’m so glad to meet the man who makes my brother so happy!” Olly enthused, clapping Nick on the back in a very “bro” manner. 

Nick smiled, “I’ve heard so much about you; I’m looking forward to getting to know you!”

“Yeah, me too. I wish I was in town longer this time but I have to leave in a few days. You guys should come visit me though, in Chicago, this summer,” Olly invited excitedly.

“I’ve never been to Chicago! Char, what do you think?” Nick enthused.

“Of course! That would be fun. Maybe we can take a long weekend, I could close the office an extra day or something.”

“You could come to ours for lunch tomorrow, if you’d like,” Nick said hopefully, as Olly started to nod.

“Uh, Nick. We're taking Sean and Matt to get their wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow, remember?” Charlie gently reminded him. 

“Ugh, oh right,” Nick said with a grimace. “How about you take them, and I’ll have lunch with your brother?” Nick was not excited about the procedure or having to take care of his sons after their oral surgery, which was why they were doing it this week, when Charlie’s office was closed so he could be there to help. Nick knew he was a great dad, but he wasn’t sure how he would do following surgery.

Charlie laughed. “We could meet for coffee beforehand though. We don’t have to be at the oral surgeon’s office until 11.”

Olly agreed, saying he could just come to their place, since he was staying with Tori and it was practically next door. Nick promised to bake the last of the cinnamon rolls for them to eat. Once that was all settled, Nick and Charlie followed Michael into the kitchen to get drinks. Michael had made homemade eggnog with rum which they both eagerly accepted before joining everyone back in the living room. 

Christmas music played softly in the background as Nick sat on one of the couches next to Charlie, resting one hand on his knee as he sipped his drink with the other. Charlie leaned his head against Nick’s shoulder, drawing strength for the rest of the evening, and Nick placed a soft kiss on the top of his head. Conversation flowed freely around them and they slowly included themselves in it. Eventually, Michael got everyone’s attention saying it was time for gifts to be exchanged before dessert.

Nick and Charlie passed theirs around first; the gift cards for his parents and Tori and Michael, the Mariners ticket and sports store card for Ryan and gift card for Olly’s favorite restaurant in Chicago that Charlie had bought online. He apologized to everyone for the boring gifts, but they all laughed, saying he had never been the sentimental type. Nick jokingly promised more thoughtful gifts in the future, now that he would be part of the gift selection. Although Charlie didn’t need to be embarrassed as most of their gifts were of a similar nature - gift cards to restaurants for date night for the two of them and a renewal of their Costco membership.

After the gift exchange, Olly and Ryan pulled Nick and Charlie into a Mario Kart tournament while Tori and Michael set out the desserts. Their raucous laughter earned them more than a few looks of reprimand from Jane before they turned it off to eat. There were too many dessert options for so few people but Nick settled on taking tiny portions of each, so he could sample them all. There was a traditional pumpkin pie and pecan pie from Charlie’s parents, cranberry and white chocolate bars that Nick contributed and a moist banana cake Tori, with Ryan’s help, had baked. Oliver, since he arrived late yesterday, didn’t bring dessert but had gone out early this morning to one of the grocery stores open on Christmas day and bought a variety of tea and hot chocolate to go with them. 

“This cake is so delicious, Tori!” Nick exclaimed, “I’d love the recipe. It's unbelievable how moist it is, even though it’s fully cooked. How did you do that?”

“That’s the secret to it…and it’s the only thing I know how to bake…so…” Tori looked off to the side, like she wanted to say more but was unsure.

“Oh, right. OK. That's fine, I get you'd want to keep it to yourself then. I feel the same about the Cranberry Bliss Bars, even though you can buy them at Starbucks, I like my own version better and never share the recipe when people ask.”

Tori sighed with relief that Nick wasn’t going to push her about it.

“I was never very good at baking either, so I’m afraid I didn’t pass that on to any of my kids,” Jane said, joining the conversation. “Did your mom teach you, Nick?”

“A little bit, I guess. Mostly I just had fun making cookies and stuff for my friends when I was a teenager, even though I got made fun of for it a lot. I didn’t really get into baking cakes or breads or specialty stuff until we had the kids, I guess. We’d watch British Bake Off and they’d want to try something from it and so…I just started experimenting. Eventually, I’ve gotten pretty good at it, and I enjoy it, which is the most important thing I guess.”

“Maybe, now that I’m retiring soon, I should take it up, develop a new hobby,” Jane mused. Nick nodded.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to retire,” Tori said thoughtfully, “The chances of the economy improving seem pretty slim.” This led to a chorus of groans around the table before Tori said, “I should just quit though, I’ve got a shit boss…” grinning wickedly at Charlie.

“Tori!” Julio said, “what?!?”

Charlie burst out laughing, “Dad, don’t worry. She says it to me all the time, that she’s going to quit because I’m a shit boss. It’s really just a Tori way of saying she loves her job and I’m actually an amazing boss, right, Tor?”

“Yeah, well, that’s what I let you think I mean…” and everyone laughed this time. 

“I guess you better give her a big raise, Char,” Nick told him, “otherwise you might lose her.”

Tori shook her head and gave her brother a side hug from where she sat next to him at the table. “I wouldn’t leave him, plus, I’m too mean for anyone else to hire me.”

“Mom…we've been over this, you’re not mean. You’re just direct and honest and lots of people don't know how to deal with you. That’s why you and Dad are so perfect together, because nothing you say or do bothers him,” Ryan defended her.

“Well…now, I wouldn’t say that…” Michael laughed, “Every couple has things about the other that bother them. But nothing that bothers either of us changes how we feel about each other, that’s the important part.”

Nick saw the tender look they exchanged as he realized the truth of what they had said. Everyone had some irritating habits but working through those made you better, stronger.

“You know, I never thought I would say this when I was growing up,” Charlie said quietly, “But I’m so grateful for all of you, for the family we have, despite our differences. I’m really enjoying spending Christmas with you guys tonight.”

Nick squeezed Charlie’s hand under the table, knowing it was hard for him to voice his feelings to his parents.

“OK, OK, enough of this sentimental shit. Let’s tear each other apart now. What game should we play first?” Olly said, breaking the spell. 

A rousing evening of group games, drinks and laughter carried them through the end of Christmas Day. Their love of family board games meant Tori and Michael’s collection nearly rivaled Nick’s family's so Nick proposed they get together again on New Year’s Day which they enthusiastically agreed to. Nick and Charlie were planning to go out dancing on New Year's Eve to Pink Pony with Darcy and Tara, having foregone their original idea of a party when Tao and Elle were unable to come for the holidays this year.

By the time Jane and Julio left to go home, the rest of the group (except for Ryan) was delightfully tipsy, having enjoyed the eggnog throughout the night, and were sitting around talking and laughing. At 11pm, Charlie stood and stretched and reminded Nick they couldn’t just lay around the next day so they needed to get home to bed. They hugged Tori and Michael, thanking them for hosting, and gave Ryan and Olly fist bumps on their way out, reminding Oliver not to be late the next morning for breakfast because they had to leave by 10:30am. They trudged through the snow to their building next door, arms heavy with their gifts and dishes, legs feeling the weight of the rum.

Once inside, they quickly got ready for bed and cuddled together under the covers, kissing and whispering about the day. Even though it was their first Christmas together, somehow it had all felt so natural, like they had slotted into each other’s lives so seamlessly. Nick had felt alone, even in his marriage to his best friend, for so long, that he almost couldn’t put into words how it felt to have Charlie in his life now. He couldn’t wait to celebrate every Christmas, for the rest of his life, with Charlie by his side. 

Chapter Text

Charlie

Charlie groaned as the incessant buzzing from his alarm woke him from a deep sleep, everything in him wishing he could turn it off and just cuddle back up with Nick and sleep the day away. Instead, he silenced it and gently lifted Nick’s heavy arm from around his waist so he could slide out from under him and head to the bathroom to shower. His head felt a little fuzzy from the alcohol the night before but he knew it would fade quickly once he had breakfast and some Tylenol. The hot water of the shower revived him further and he found he was actually looking forward to the day. He loved oral surgery, and wished he could do more of it himself, so he was excited to observe the boys’ wisdom teeth extractions today. And he was looking forward to more time this morning with his brother, whom he didn’t get the chance to see very often.

He hurried through the rest of his morning routine and then started the coffee and turned on the oven to warm the cinnamon rolls. Charlie sliced some fresh fruit onto a platter and scrambled eggs to make omelettes when Olly arrived. Glancing at the clock and seeing Oliver was due to arrive within the half hour, he padded quietly into their bedroom to wake Nick.

Charlie smiled slightly at the sight before him; Nick’s hair was mussed up and sticking out in every direction, his mouth hung slightly open with a gentle snore escaping on each inhale, and a tiny drop of drool was collecting on the corner of his lips. Charlie couldn’t help himself as he leaned over Nick, kissing him softly, nudging his cheek with his nose to wake Nick up. 

“Nick, darling, my brother is going to be here soon. It’s time to get up…” Charlie whispered into Nick’s ear before he bit gently down on the lobe like he knew Nick loved.

Nick made a small whining sound before rolling over onto his back, reaching his arms around Charlie and pulled him down on top of him. “No…come back to bed instead,” Nick begged, “I want to kiss you, baby.”

“I am not having my brother arrive while we are having sex! He’s already walked in on me once in my life, when I was… you know, in the shower, and that was enough for me!”

Nick burst out laughing, “That is a story you have not told me yet…I’m going to have Olly spill it at breakfast.”

“No! Nick! I do not want to relieve that!” Charlie shuddered, the memory seared in his brain of his then-10-year-old brother interrupting his shower when Charlie was home from university for Christmas.

  “Alright, alright. I won’t ask…” Nick said in a tone Charlie did not altogether believe, as he climbed out of bed. “Do I have time for a shower?”

Charlie nodded, “Yeah, a quick one. I’ve gotten everything ready for breakfast already and the coffee is brewing. I’ll just make the omelettes once he gets here.”

Nick scurried past Charlie towards the bathroom and Charlie stared longingly at the door, the sound of the shower running making him wish he could call his brother and tell him to come later, so he could join Nick. (You rarely see Olly, you see Nick every day…you can wait!) he reminded himself, and his eager cock.

Charlie had just finished setting the table when the doorbell rang - he called out to Nick to hurry and finish getting dressed - and went to open the door for his brother. They greeted each other with tight hugs, feeling more comfortable with displays of affection when their mother wasn’t around, before Charlie ushered Olly into the apartment and offered him a cup of coffee. 

“Nick’ll be right out, he slept in a bit this morning. I think he’s anxious about his kids’ surgeries today and didn’t sleep well last night,” Charlie said, handing Oliver a mug.

“Yeah he mentioned yesterday he was nervous when he was telling me about them. They all sound really amazing, do you get along well? And also, why aren’t you doing their extractions? I know you do wisdom teeth, since you took out mine.”

“I mean, I do extract wisdom teeth, but on a case-by-case basis, and both of them have ones that might be challenging because of their nerve placement in the lower jaw. So I felt better having the oral surgeon do it, but I’m going to observe and then stay at the house for a few days to monitor their recovery,” Charlie answered, Oliver nodding his understanding.

“And yes, I do get along really well with all of them, especially Niles. He’s a lot like me at that age, similar personalities, similar struggles. I’ve been teaching him the drums a few times a month which is fun. The others are great too, I just don’t know them quite as well. Sean is a sophomore in college in New York so he’s not around as much and I don’t expect we’ll be talking a lot this week when I’m there since he’ll be in pain. His life story is…impressive.”

“Nick mentioned he wants to be a lawyer…let him know, if he needs any help with figuring out the LSATs or applications, he can feel free to ask. I know a lot of people who work for other social justice groups in the New York area too, if he’s interested in an internship or something. There will likely be a lot of need for volunteers in our field over the next four years…” Oliver trailed off, closing his eyes tightly, struggling to keep his emotions under control.

Charlie reached his hand to squeeze his arm, before asking, “How is it? Are you preparing for the worst? I can’t imagine that being an immigration lawyer is an easy job any time, but now…”

Oliver opened his eyes, moisture gathering at the corners, and nodded. “Basically, we’re hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. My biggest concern is for the kids…the ones who ICE might try and collect from schools without their parents. The separation of families is the hardest part for me to witness…and sometimes, I’m not sure I can keep doing it, if I’m honest.”

Charlie felt tears welling in his own eyes, his heart breaking for the millions of people, in every marginalized group, who were feeling the fear of the upcoming change in the government.

“But then, I remember if I don’t do it, who will? And the cases we do win, the people we are able to help, make it worthwhile,” he took a shaky breath in and out, “so yeah, I just keep fighting. What else can I do?”

Charlie pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly, and told him how proud he was of him, how much he loved him, pulling away when he heard Nick enter the room. He stopped short, looking between the two, and then came over and wrapped his own arms around both of them.

“I don't know what we are crying about, but I’m here with cuddles,” Nick said lightly, easing the mood.

Charlie shook his head, “Just talking about Olly’s job, and how hard the next few years are going to be.”

Nick nodded solemnly, “Yeah, it’s going to be a really hard time. We’ll all hold onto each other though.”

At that word of encouragement, he released them both and stepped over to the stove, turning it on to make the omelettes to go along with the rolls and the fruit. They continued chatting as Nick cooked the eggs, spreading a thin layer of cheese on them, and expertly slid them onto their plates when they were cooked through. Sitting around the table, they ate slowly, enjoying the food and the conversation. Not for the first time since they were adults, Charlie wished his baby brother lived closer so they could see each other more often. He told them about the girl he was casually dating who was a nurse at the busiest hospital in Chicago, about the recreational basketball league he played in once a week to burn off steam, and how he felt certain Chicago was where he planned to stay.

In turn, Olly asked Nick and Charlie all kinds of questions about how they met, Nick’s job, their friends, how Charlie’s office was doing, Nick’s family. There was barely a pause in their two-hour conversation, which didn’t seem long enough for Charlie, before Nick quietly mentioned they needed to go collect the boys, to take them for their surgeries. Charlie squeezed Nick’s hand, knowing he was nervous, and reminded him that he would be right there the entire time.

As they said their goodbyes to Olly at the door, Nick thanked him for the incredible work he was doing and shook his hand firmly, saying how happy it made him to “sort of have a brother” he could be proud of. Having heard the story about David from them earlier, Oliver thanked him for the kind words and pulled Nick into a tight hug. Charlie’s heart melted at the sight, not just of his brother approving of his boyfriend but for Nick being able to have a new brotherly relationship.

When Nick stepped back and went to finish getting ready to leave, Charlie held his brother in his arms for a long moment. Pulling back, he placed both hands on the sides of his face so he could look him in the eyes to tell him how much he loved him and how proud he was of him. Olly nodded, repeating the sentiments back to Charlie, before he opened the door to leave. 

“I’ll see you both this summer sometime then?” he asked Charlie hopefully.

“Definitely,” Charlie responded emphatically as he watched his brother leave.

He sighed as he closed the door, taking deep breaths to restore his mind back to the present, his worry about the future threatening to overtake him. He made his way slowly to the kitchen, loading the dishwasher as his mind raced. He was just closing it when Nick came in, and sensing Charlie’s distress, took him in his arms and kissed him deeply. Charlie responded to his kiss urgently, needing to ground himself in Nick, in what was right in front of him and not get carried away into the fears and the what-ifs. They kissed for a few minutes until Charlie felt the calm Nick exuded seep into his soul and he pulled back with a soft “thank you.” Somehow, Nick always knew just what he needed. 

Charlie let Nick lead him to the door where they put their boots and warm coats on. They were heading to the store before picking up the kids, for some special ‘after surgery’ foods and care items, so they didn’t have to go later when they might not be feeling up to it. Charlie had given Nick the list so he could hurry through the store while Charlie picked up another round of coffee for them. Once they were finished, they went to the house and collected the boys, soothed Imogen’s concerns, and drove the short distance to the oral surgeon’s office.

Charlie had been referring his patients to these particular oral surgeons for years but hadn’t had the chance to work with any of them personally so he was excited to see their process. Normally, the patient was in the room without their escort but because Charlie was also a dentist, they were allowing him in the room to observe. Sean had come in completely relaxed and had tolerated the injections without any anesthesia other than the nitrous. Charlie had stood nearby, ready to offer comfort if he wanted it but Nick had assured him, Sean was a very independent person and was not one for physical affection, so not to assume he would want to be touched. The nitrous had calmed him enough that he laid perfectly still for the entire procedure with no complications, all four of his wisdom teeth coming out relatively easily with very minimal risk to the nerves that Charlie had been concerned about if he had done them.

Matt was a different patient altogether. He was much more tactile, in his normal personality as well, and wanted Charlie to hold his hand the entire time and had been tense and anxious throughout the procedure despite the nitrous. He had insisted though, that he didn’t want to be put to sleep, and managed to make it through the extractions without further intervention. The teeth themselves came out even easier than Sean’s did because, even though he was nearly three years younger, his teeth were more developed, allowing them to be extracted in a simpler manner. Charlie felt like he learned a lot just watching the oral surgeon work on two procedures and planned to implement some of their techniques on his next case. He thanked the doctor multiple times, both for allowing him to observe and for the steep discount he had given to Charlie since he referred so many patients to them.

They loaded the boys into the car, their cheeks stuffed with gauze and looking like squirrels, for the short drive home. When they got there, Charlie changed both of their dressings, gave them each an ice pack to alternate sides to prevent swelling and turned on the 911 TV series to binge while they recovered. The rest of the family rotated through the living room, occasionally pausing to watch with them, coming to make their own meals, just going about their days. After about an hour, Sean’s anesthetic began to wear off so Charlie made him a thin milkshake to swallow easily and gave him his first dose of pain meds, repeating the process with Matt an hour later. 

By now, the bleeding had stopped and healing would begin in earnest. Charlie kept note of when they ate, when they took their pain medication and how they were tolerating everything. He rotated their ice packs every twenty minutes and encouraged them to drink plenty of fluids. He brought them soup, applesauce, yogurt, anything that they wanted that was easy to swallow without chewing or using a straw. Charlie had always been on the doctor’s side of this part, giving out the home care instructions, but never being the one to actually do the recovery assistance. In many ways, he found it a challenge he appreciated, but it also made him feel inadequate, like he wasn’t as caring as he felt he should be.

Nick was very quick to assure him that he was wrong to feel this way; that the feeling, in fact, was how every parent felt when they took care of their children. Nick pointed out all the little things Charlie was doing for the boys that they wouldn’t have done if they were on their own. He tried to believe Nick’s words, but instead spent half the night awake, worried about them and checking to make sure they didn’t need him while they were sleeping. He woke them both around 2am for some applesauce and another pain pill, both of them bleary-eyed as they carefully swallowed both before laying back down to sleep. 

Charlie was almost out the door when he heard Matt say very quietly, “Thanks, Dad.” 

Charlie froze, sure he must have misheard until Sean repeated, “Yeah, thanks Dad.” 

He barely choked out his reply, “Of course,” before dashing back to bed and collapsing into tears against Nick.

“Oh no, baby, what’s wrong? Is everything ok with the boys?” Nick questioned, clearly worried.

Charlie nodded into his chest, stuttering out his reply, “Yes…they’re fine…it’s just…” he paused, trying to take a deep breath, “they’ve both just called me ‘Dad’ for the first time…and I wasn’t expecting it and…they probably didn’t even mean it…it’s the middle of the night…and they’re on pain meds…”

“They did mean it,” Nick interrupted his worrying, “I know they did.”

“What? How do you know that?” Charlie sniffled.

“Because,” Nick said simply, “they all asked Imogen and I if it was OK, if they started calling you ‘Dad’ and we told them they could, if and when they wanted to. That it was up to them…”

“Oh my god, Nick,” Charlie exclaimed as a new wave of tears overtook him. “I love them so much and I didn’t know if they would ever love me back, if they would ever think of me like that…I never thought I would have that chance…”

Nick hugged him tightly against his chest until his tears subsided and then pulled Charlie to him for a long, tender kiss.

“I love you,” he said, adoringly, “How could they not love you? You are the most incredible person I have ever met.”

Charlie scoffed. “Thanks, I mean, I know that’s not true but I appreciate it anyway. I love you too.”

They held each other as they drifted back to sleep and Charlie felt, for the first time, that he was truly Nick’s partner. Not just his boyfriend or the man he loved, but Nick’s partner in every way, even as a parent, however part-time that would be.

Over the next four days, Nick and Charlie continued to stay at the house to take care of the boys. Imogen stayed the nights at her apartment, interrupting their normal weekly custody change, but without any contention on either side. Imogen admitted to not being the best “nurse” during illness, that role often having fallen to Nick, despite his anxiety about it. They intentionally had nothing planned for any of the days, just simply spent each day relaxing. They binge-watched an entire Marvel series, spent hours playing cards and Settlers of Catan, read, slept in, whatever they felt like. Nick even invited Oliver to join them for a Mario Kart tournament, knowing how much Charlie missed his brother and had sacrificed time with him in order to take care of his sons. 

Charlie continued to monitor the boys’ healing, slowly giving them less pain management and more food. All four of them had randomly called Charlie ‘Dad’ and he tried not to shatter into a thousand pieces every time; Nick gave him a wink or his hand a squeeze, supporting Charlie’s emotions about his new acceptance into their family.

By the fifth day, Charlie determined they were both healing normally, that the threat of infection and dry socket had likely passed and Imogen felt comfortable to trade places for a few days before getting back on their weekly schedule the following Friday. He planned to check on them again on New Year’s Day, when they came to Tori and Michael’s house for a few hours for a game day. 

Before heading back to their apartment, Charlie gave a hug to each of them, thanking them for making him feel so welcome in their house and family. The way Nick stared at him as they said goodbye stirred something in him and suddenly, Charlie was desperate to get him alone after nearly a week of being unable to fully express their love physically. Nick seemed to notice the change in Charlie and hurriedly carried their bags to the car, urging the kids to give him his own hugs so they could be off.

Nick kept his hand firmly on Charlie’s upper thigh as Charlie drove them home and Charlie felt like his whole body was tingling in anticipation. 

“Nick?” 

“Yeah?” Nick replied, his voice hoarse.

“Um, how do you want me when we get home? Should I prep…or, should you?” Charlie asked hesitantly. 

“Or, both?” Nick suggested, “Can we, I mean, can we both today? I just…I want to be inside of you, but I also want you in me…I wouldn’t know how to decide…”

Charlie forced himself to breathe deeply through his nose to focus on the road in front of him and not the images that were suddenly flashing through his mind, causing all the blood in his body to flood towards his lower half.

“Um,” he cleared his throat, “God Nick, I would love to try that. I mean, it might take hours in between, I don't know honestly because I’ve never been with someone I wanted to go twice with…”

“Yeah, me either…but I want to try, with you,” Nick said in a soft voice.

Charlie nodded vigorously. “Yes, ok, so we both prep…ummm…” He paused, suddenly feeling self conscious.

“What baby? You always tell me to ask for what I want, now it’s your turn.”

“Nick, I think, I mean, I know, I want you to fuck me in the shower…and then, if it’s alright with you, I want you to ride me in our bed,” Charlie forced himself to say, nervous to be on the other end of saying what was on his mind. 

Nick groaned heavily and his hand gripped Charlie’s leg even tighter. “Yes, yes please Charlie…”

Their breaths were already coming faster and they weren’t even all the way home yet. Charlie felt a tightening in his gut and knew he would not last long the first time and prayed his body would respond quickly to a second round. He concentrated on driving safely the last couple of minutes to their apartment, parked as quickly as possible, turning to kiss Nick passionately. When they broke apart, Nick encouraged him to go in, that he would give him some privacy to get started while Nick unloaded the car. Charlie nodded and raced inside, grateful he had already taken care of the first part of prepping earlier that morning, and hoped Nick had as well.

Charlie turned the shower on to heat up while he took care of his needs and brushed his teeth thoroughly before retrieving the shower lube from the cabinet. He flipped the shower fan to prevent too much steam from building up and stepped in to get clean and start to open himself up before Nick came in. He felt on the edge already; it had been days since they had been together like this and even though they were no longer teenagers blindly controlled by lust, their intense love for each other made Charlie feel practically insatiable for Nick. When he heard Nick enter the room, his whole body lit up in anticipation, but he forced himself to calm down, breathing deeply to allow Nick the time to do anything necessary before he joined Charlie in the shower.

A few minutes later, Charlie was feeling ready for Nick and the quiet slide of the glass door opening for Nick to climb in with him made him turn his back to the stream to pull Nick roughly in his arms. They crashed together, their lips connecting repeatedly as Charlie held onto Nick’s neck and rubbed his entire body up and down along Nick’s, his fingers lightly scratching at the short hairs at the back of his head. He positioned himself so their cocks were nestled together in between them, their every movement dragging their lengths against the other, as they kissed long and deep.

“Fuck Charlie, god I feel like I could take you right now already….”

Charlie groaned and hooked his leg around Nick’s thigh to pull them impossibly closer. “Nick, I love you so much…”

Nick carefully kneeled to the floor of the tub and swiftly turned Charlie away from him.

“Are you clean for me, baby?” he asked, his voice husky and low.

“Yes…” Charlie breathed, desire coiling in his belly, hoping that meant Nick was going down, was going to kiss and tease his hole before he finished opening him up. He gave his cock a couple of slow strokes, his need for release a literal ache, as he leaned forward to brace his arms on the wall of the shower. He knew in this position Nick could see all of him and he flexed his glutes, just to tease him. Nick’s gasp and instant movement to lick, prod and kiss Charlie’s entrance while reaching under with one hand to stroke him, the other resting on Charlie's hip for balance, reassured Charlie that Nick wanted him as much as he wanted Nick.

He couldn’t hold back the small gasps and moans of pleasure as Nick teased him, and he fought the overwhelming desire to pull away and touch Nick, reminding himself that Nick was enjoying this and it made him feel good to make Charlie feel good too. As he relaxed into the sensations, he knew neither of them were going to last long so he hurriedly placed the lube into one of Nick’s hands, rasping out instructions to quickly finish opening him up.

Charlie felt Nick’s finger gently tracing circles before dipping inside easily, he was already ready for one of Nick’s fingers from his earlier prep, so he added a second, stretching and sliding in and out with little resistance. 

“Another,” Charlie begged, “Nick I need you now…” and Nick immediately complied, groaning from the sensation and the desperation Charlie knew he felt, his forefinger searching for Charlie’s prostate. When he found the little bundle of nerves, Charlie felt shock waves roll through him and he cried out, “Fuck, Nick!” and his entire being trembled as Nick stroked there until Charlie thought he couldn’t hold on any longer.

“Nick, please…” he begged.

“OK baby…” Nick held fast to Charlie’s hips, using them as leverage to stand grunting as he did so.

“Fuck my life, I’m old,” Nick muttered darkly. 

Charlie laughed - he couldn’t help himself - and turned to face Nick again, making sure he was steady on his feet.

“You alright old man, can’t get up from the floor on your own?” Charlie teased.

“Fine, see if I ever get on my knees for you again,” Nick pretended to pout, before grinning and cupped Charlie’s cheeks in his hands, drawing him in for a tender kiss. The urgency had slowed a bit in the wake of Nick’s momentary midlife crisis, but Charlie knew that would just allow them to prolong the enjoyment. They kissed softly, tongues tracing each other's lips, as the desire built again quickly. Charlie broke the kiss to suck and lick his way along Nick’s jaw and his neck until Nick was breathing heavily against him again.

“Are you ready for me Char?” Nick asked hopefully, as he coated himself in lube. 

In response, Charlie turned to face the shower wall, propped one foot along the edge of the tub to give Nick better access, and reached behind him to stroke Nick as he pulled him inside. Charlie moaned at the delicious stretch, the burn alighting his senses to all the pleasure he was about to experience. Nick pressed his entire torso along Charlie’s, wrapping his left arm around his waist and reached up with the right to thread his fingers with Charlie’s hand that was gripping the wall above him. He kissed him across his shoulders and in the crook of his neck as he slowly thrust in and out, gently building a rhythm so he didn’t hurt Charlie. 

The intensity of the feeling of Nick connecting with him in this position threatened to pull Charlie over the edge. He gripped tightly to the hand holding his and grabbed Nick’s other hand to wrap around his cock, rapidly stripping it together for mere moments before he reached his climax with a shout, begging Nick to come as well. Their bodies shook in an intense orgasm, panting and whimpering as it overtook them and bound them together.

As it faded, Charlie suddenly felt like his body was made of liquid and could barely keep upright long enough to turn and collapse into Nick’s lips, his strong arms supporting them both to remain standing. They stepped carefully into the stream of now-tepid water to rinse clean before wrapping themselves in their towels and rushed to collapse on the bed, utterly spent.

Charlie rolled onto his side, propping up on his elbow over Nick’s shoulder and placed a soft kiss on the corner of Nick’s mouth.

“Jesus Nick, that was so amazing, I’m not sure where enough energy will come from to do that again…”

Nick chuckled, “Yeah, same. I think we need a nap, in our own bed. We didn’t sleep that well at the house taking care of them.”

Charlie agreed and they shuffled to the head of the bed, pulled the covers back and over themselves, cuddling naked underneath, whispering words of love before drifting into a deep sleep. 

A couple of hours later, Charlie woke slowly to the realization that he was alone in bed. The lingering warmth on Nick’s side confirmed he hadn’t vacated their room very long ago so Charlie stretched his arms slowly above his head, not wanting any soreness to prevent them from being able to make love again soon. The thought of Nick hovering over him, a blissed out expression on his face, awakened Charlie’s cock and he smiled slightly to himself, knowing it meant at least he would be able to again soon. He hoped his gorgeous man would too.

His stomach had other ideas though of how soon that should happen as it gurgled loudly, interrupting Charlie’s train of thought. He rolled over to check the time on his phone and was startled to find it had been nearly three hours since they had collapsed into bed together and they had completely missed his normal lunch time. He heaved out a deep sigh, knowing he needed to get up and eat and would have to defer his time with Nick to a later hour, and pulled himself out of bed. He slipped on a pair of underwear and his fluffy robe and slippers as he went in search of Nick. Finding the bathroom door closed, he assumed he was in there so knocked gently before speaking softly through the frame.

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to eat OK? Sorry to put you off for a while but…” Charlie trailed off.

“Of course Char! I’ll be out in a few minutes and we can have a light lunch?” Nick responded.

Charlie exhaled, relieved Nick wasn’t upset at the delay.

“I was thinking of warming up some of that broccoli cheddar soup from Costco? With some toast maybe?” Charlie said, “Does that sound good to you?”

“Sounds perfect, babe.”

“Good, alright, I’ll start it now then.”

Charlie made his way to the kitchen, placed a pot on the stove and retrieved the soup from the fridge. He poured it into the pot and turned it on to heat up while he put a couple of pieces of sourdough bread into the toaster to have alongside. He waited to start the toaster though, until the soup was nearly warm and Nick joined him. While it was heating, he got a couple of bowls and plates down from the cupboard and filled two glasses of water for them to drink and set them out on the table. He scrolled through his Instagram while he stirred the soup, pleased to see Olly had made it home safely but simultaneously saddened at the abbreviated time they had been able to spend together. 

Thinking of his brother brought the idea of a trip to Chicago to his mind so he pulled up his office calendar, hoping to find a weekend he could maybe extend by a day or two so he and Nick could go visit. Unfortunately, spring break week wouldn’t work for Nick since he was taking his students to Paris, so Charlie searched further into the year. It was really hot and muggy in Chicago in the summer and he didn’t really like the idea of visiting when it would be so miserable. As he perused the May calendar, Nick padded into the kitchen wearing a pair of cozy sweats, the grey pants making his ass look amazing and the light rust colored hoodie bringing out his eyes. 

Charlie couldn’t help but stare at him and completely forgot what he’d been thinking about until Nick smirked and asked what he was looking at on his phone. Shaking himself out of his horny thoughts, he recovered his idea and asked Nick what he thought about going to Chicago over Memorial Day weekend. Nick contemplated it a moment before replying.

“I’d have to see if one of the other guys can coach the boys that weekend, but if they can, it should be fine since we aren’t hosting at our field this year.”

“Oh damn, I totally forgot about summer baseball! Should we try for a different weekend instead? Maybe in the fall when it’s cooled down some?” Charlie hurried to offer.

“Nah, I’ll ask them and I’m sure I can find someone to take over. There aren’t really any weekends off school in the fall so it would be harder then.”

“OK, well, only if you’re sure. I just realized…seeing him at Christmas…how much I miss Olly and really want to make an effort to go visit him this year and I’d really love it if we could go together,” Charlie said, hopeful Nick would understand.

“Of course, Char, I totally get that and want to come with you. And I’ve never been to Chicago so it would be a really fun trip for the two of us.”

Charlie nodded, turning back to stir the soup and, seeing the steam rise indicating it was hot, pushed the bread down into the toaster. Nick came up to him, hugging him from behind,  resting his chin on Charlie’s shoulder and placing a little peck on his cheek.

“Thanks for making us lunch sweetheart. Have I told you today how much I love you?” Nick murmured in his ear.

Charlie shivered, “Yes you have, and you’ve shown me too. And you’re going to show me again…” he replied, wiggling his butt against Nick’s front. “But first, we have to eat. I can’t start skipping meals and it’s always hardest to stay on track after the holidays.”

Nick nodded, understanding immediately. Charlie had already told him how all the food-focused events threw off his schedule and made it hard to stay on track like he should. When they talked about it, Nick had also mentioned that it was sometimes the same for him but in reverse order; he had a hard time not overeating after being in the habit of eating extra during the holidays, so they planned to support each other to take care of themselves. The soup and toast was the perfect late-lunch choice because it would leave them satisfied for a while but they would still want to eat a normal dinner later. And Charlie had plans that would require more energy.

After they finished eating, Charlie loaded the dishwasher and then they both brushed their teeth, eyeing each other in the mirror as they did, the corners of their mouths lifting in small smiles. Charlie wished he could pretend to be coy, as if he didn’t want to just jump Nick immediately after their meal, but it was obvious they both were feeling the energy flowing between them so he didn’t even try to hide his intentions.

The difference between earlier in the day and now, was the feeling of urgency they’d felt before had abated, allowing them to connect more slowly and focus on using their bodies to express their care and affection, to truly make love to each other. Charlie led Nick gently by the hand to their bedroom and closed the door behind them, then pulled Nick against him and held him close. They hugged each other tightly; the way Nick caressed Charlie’s back sent shivers of desire rippling through his body.

Pulling back slightly from the hug, they looked each other deep in the eyes, brimming with love, before moving as one to kiss tenderly, slowly building in speed and passion. When Charlie felt Nick’s tongue lightly tease his lower lip, he whimpered quietly, then opened his mouth to allow Nick access and met his tongue with his own. They kissed as if they were slow dancing, leading and following, until Charlie felt like the low embers that had started in his core had turned into a flame; he broke the kiss to nibble and brush his lips along Nick’s jaw line to his sensitive earlobe. Nick gasped his name when he sucked him there, rolling his hips into Charlie’s, who moaned as he felt Nick’s hard length brush against his own.

Charlie slid his hands to Nick’s ass and gripped it firmly as his lips found Nick’s again with a new desperation in his movements, and he hurried to remove Nick’s hoodie before  ripping his own robe open and letting it fall to the floor at his ankles. He placed his hands on Nick’s chest, tracing his fingertips through the curly hair and as his thumbs teased Nick’s nipples, a shallow groan escaped him. 

“Nick, god, baby, you feel so good. I love you so much.”

“Oh Charlie…I can’t wait to have you inside me…”

Charlie felt a rush of emotion and the flame burned brighter, growing into a fire he needed to quench. He pushed gently against Nick, who slowly walked backwards to their bed, their lips never leaving each other, until he sat on the edge and Charlie kneeled to the floor between Nick’s legs. He trailed his hands to the waistband of Nick’s joggers, encouraging Nick to raise up a little so he could slide them down, finding Nick naked underneath. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Nick’s thick cock, the tip pink with arousal and precum beading up, and he licked his lips in anticipation.

“Nick, I’m going to make you feel so good baby…can I taste you now?”

Nick nodded rapidly, his hips shifting of their own accord, as Charlie gently took him in hand and placed a gentle kiss on the head before licking the underside from root to tip. Charlie loosened his jaw and took Nick in his mouth, the velvety smooth texture causing his own dick to jump inside his boxer briefs, and slowly swallowed him completely. Nick gasped above him and gripped his hand into Charlie’s hair, stuttering out expletives and praises as Charlie worked him over. After a couple of minutes of attention, Charlie sensed Nick was getting dangerously close to coming so he released him and stood back up, removing his own underwear as he did.

Nick looked up at him above him, eyes hooded from his desire, and placed his hands on Charlie’s hips, hungrily eyeing his cock in front of him. Charlie cupped his cheek gently with a smile and slowly guided Nick towards his length, warning him not to do too much, since he still needed to open Nick up and he didn’t want to come early. Nick flushed deeply and averted his eyes.
“Nick? You OK baby? Do you not want me to top you this time? It’s fine, if you don’t.” Charlie said, looking down anxiously at Nick.

“No…no I do…it’s just, well, just wait OK? You’ll see,” Nick stuttered and then leaned towards Charlie, taking him in all at once and Charlie felt like he might fall over, the sensations flooding his body nearly overwhelming him. God, he loved Nick so much and he couldn’t believe he was so lucky to be here with him, like this. Nick licked and sucked him gently and thoroughly until Charlie tapped him on the shoulder to stop. When Nick looked up at him, Charlie groaned at the debauched look on his face and kissed him hungrily, pushing him down on the bed and encouraging him towards the head of the bed, their cocks brushing as they moved.

Charlie reached into the drawer for the lube, smiling down at Nick below him.
“I’m going to open you up now, Nick, OK?”

Nick nodded breathlessly and pulled his knees up to his chest and Charlie’s heart skipped a beat and then took off rapidly at the sight before him, a sparkly plug winking at him from between Nick’s butt cheeks.

“Fuck Nick, Jesus you are beautiful…I didn’t expect you to use it so soon!”

Nick shrugged, unable to look Charlie in the eye, “I wanted to enjoy my present tonight, it’s so pretty.”

“This is like a present for me too…” Charlie growled deeply, leaning down to trace it with his fingers, “Can I, can I move it?”

At Nick’s nod, he grasped it firmly between his thumb and forefinger, prodding it to move in and out a little bit. Nick moaned in pleasure and Charlie was overcome with a need to replace the plug with himself so he gently removed it and lubed up his own fingers, stretching Nick further to ready him for his cock. He brushed over Nick’s prostate and Nick gasped and shuddered, clenching around Charlie. 

“Please Charlie…I need you in me baby,” he rasped brokenly.

Charlie nodded, unable to speak, so overcome with his own desire. He laid himself over Nick, covering his body with his own, and kissed him tenderly as they carefully switched positions. Nick took the lube from Charlie’s hand and generously coated Charlie’s cock before kneeling over him and slowly sinking into Charlie’s lap, taking him deep inside. Charlie breathed deeply, holding in the rush of emotion so he wouldn’t come already, and looked up at Nick, whose head was thrown back in pleasure.

He reached up and placed his hands on Nick’s shoulders, drawing his eyes to look into his own, both mirroring their mutual love. He slid his hands down Nick’s arms until he reached his hands, threading their fingers together and then pulled them back to frame his head, keeping them connected. Nick squeezed his fingers tightly, and slowly started rising and falling above him.

“Oh Nick, baby, you feel so amazing like this…”

Nick groaned deeply and began to move faster, leaning over to capture Charlie’s lips briefly between stuttering breaths. 

“Charlie…Charlie…Charlie…”

Suddenly possessed of an inexplicable urge, Charlie raised his hips to match Nick’s movements, both becoming more urgent as they reached for their release. 

“Nick! Oh god, Nick…” he cried out and released one of his hands to grasp firmly around Nick’s cock, matching the tempo with their thrusts until he felt Nick’s imminent orgasm and breathed out, “Nick, I love you so much…” which sent him over the edge with a long whine. 

The contractions around his cock and the sight of Nick’s cum now covering his chest sent Charlie spiraling into his own orgasm and he grunted as the force of it overtook him, crying out Nick’s name as he spilled into him.

Nick pulled him up to sit against him, holding him tightly and kissed him fervently, muttering, “I love you, I love you, I love you” in between each kiss. They clung to each other as they caught their breaths, overwhelmed by the intense connection they always felt after making love.

After a few minutes, Charlie carefully extracted himself from Nick and stumbled to the bathroom to clean up. He brought wipes to attend to Nick as well and helped him sip some water before they cuddled tightly under the blankets and relaxed together. They spent the rest of the day hanging out in bed until Nick made them dinner and they watched a movie. In bed that night, they lay next to each other reading, warm in their pajamas and thick blankets. They slept soundly, Charlie wrapped around Nick’s back, secure in their love and satisfied in their bodies.

The new year loomed before them full of fear and anxiety due to the political climate, and they had no idea how they were going to face any of it, except that they were going to face it together. So they had decided to celebrate among their queer family, at the place where their official relationship had begun, Pink Pony Club. Charlie’s band was one of many that would be performing live that night, short half hour sets that ran from 8pm until 11pm when the DJ would take over with the dance music, leading up to the countdown into the new year. 

Charlie carefully drew on his eyeliner, knowing Nick was feral for him when he wore it, and squeezed himself into his skinny jeans and a sheer black tank top, with white flowers sewn into the material. Checking himself in the mirror before joining Nick in the living room, he knew he looked hot and would draw attention tonight, even though the only attention he wanted was from Nick. He peeked around the corner, saw Nick scrolling on his phone, looking gorgeous himself in the jeans he’d worn the first time they had gone on Charlie’s birthday, this time with a fitted olive green tee that made his golden brown eyes sparkle and the freckles on his arms pop. Charlie “accidentally” bumped into the kitchen chair so Nick would look up at him, and he smirked in pride when he saw Nick’s eyes widen and darken and his mouth fell open.

“Fuck Charlie…now I don’t want to go…I just want to take you in the bedroom and have you all to myself tonight.”

“God Nick, you look so good, so good! I can’t wait to dance all night with the hottest guy at the club!”

Nick got up from the couch and picked Charlie up, spinning him around before kissing him soundly.

“OK, come on, if we don’t leave right now, I’m taking you to bed and I know you have to perform tonight…so, let’s go. Our Uber should be here any minute.”

Charlie’s band had just finished their set and he scanned the crowd, trying to locate Nick who was hanging out with Tara and Darcy while they watched Queer Intentions perform. He finally located his beautiful boyfriend at the bar with a tray of drinks in his hand, talking to Sahar, his colleague that co-sponsored the GSA with him. They gave each other a quick hug and then Nick picked up the tray, balancing it high over his head, showing off his amazing arms, and weaved his way through the crowd. Charlie followed the direction he was going with his eyes until he spotted Tara and Darcy and stood to make his way towards them after wishing his bandmates a happy new year.

It was almost 10:30pm and there was one band left to perform before the DJ would turn the dance floor into a mass of writhing bodies and Charlie was itching to press himself against Nick and forget all the stresses and worries they carried for the future. He hurried his way through the crowd, greeting acquaintances on the way and acknowledging the compliments people made about the band’s set. The fact that he and Nick had been here multiple times since they got together meant most people knew he was in a relationship now so he avoided being hit on as much as he used to.

With relief, he broke through the crowd to find his boyfriend and his two best friends sipping their drinks and chatting animatedly. Charlie came up behind Nick and wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing his neck and breathing in his distinct scent. Nick turned in his embrace, hands grasping both of their drinks, and kissed Charlie heatedly before handing him his rum and Coke and whispering, “God, you are the hottest drummer in the room tonight.”

Charlie giggled and took a long sip of his drink, playing with the tiny straw in his mouth, knowing it drove Nick crazy when he did, “Nick, there are only like six of us here tonight…so that’s not saying a lot. But, thanks anyway.”

“OK, fine, I was trying not to be too dramatic, but honestly, I really wanted to say you are the hottest drummer in the world…”

“Oh my god Nick, you are so cringe. But I love you,” Charlie said with a smile. 

Taking another long sip of his drink, he joined their small circle, the four of them diving straight back into the conversation Charlie had interrupted, which was basically arguing about which female actress from their childhood was the hottest. Charlie listened with amusement as he tried to place any of the ones they were talking about until Nick jumped in to point out how hot Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio were in Titanic and how that should have clued him in to his bisexuality then but it was still a few more years before he really got it when he watched Pirates of the Caribbean. Charlie flushed thinking of Leonardo Dicaprio, one actor he had definitely thought about a lot at that age. Tara and Darcy were insistent that Sarah Michelle Gellar from Buffy was the actress all queer girls, and likely many straight boys, had a thing for. Which Charlie conceded was probably true, she was objectively beautiful, and Buffy had had a significant impact on the queer community of their generation. 

Darcy turned to Charlie and asked who his teen celebrity crush was and Charlie ducked his head in embarrassment. He had been utterly obsessed with one of the boys from Home Improvement , posters of him covering his teenage walls. 

“Oh, I really had a thing for Jonathan Taylor Thomas, like I was so obsessed with him,” Charlie declared loudly, hoping his loud voice would project his faux-confidence. His announcement was heard by many of the gays nearby, setting off a chorus of “Me too!” “He was so hot!” “I wonder what happened to him?” and Charlie laughed, suddenly feeling more justified in his teen lust.

“You may have had a thing for him then, but I get you now,” Nick practically growled into Charlie’s ear, taking his empty glass and setting it on a nearby table, and dragged Charlie out to the dance floor. Tugging him close, Nick slotted his leg between Charlie’s and placed his hands on his hips and began to move their bodies together.   

Shortly after, Tara and Darcy joined them and they spent the rest of the last hour of the year dancing together, sometimes as a group, jumping around to the fast songs, and sometimes as separate couples, holding each other close and moving as if they were one person. Charlie and Nick were hot and sweaty, grinding together facing each other and kissing, or from behind and groping. They took turns heading to the bar for drinks, electing to get water a couple of times to prevent severe hangovers the next day. Before they knew it, the DJ was announcing that it was 30 seconds to midnight.

Charlie turned to face Nick, wrapping his arms around his neck and looked deep into his eyes as the countdown to the New Year began. Ten …his fingers scratched along Nick’s hairline… Nine …Nick’s hand tightened on his waist… Eight …Charlie took a step closer… Seven …Nick lightly brushed a curl from his forehead… Six …his hands drifted to Nick’s shoulders… Five …Nick leaned forward to meet Charlie’s forehead with his own… Four …Charlie gently rubbed his nose against Nick’s… Three …Nick breathed out “I love you”... Two …Charlie sighed “I love you more”... One …Their lips met in a slow dance of the love and passion that had been building between them since they first met, since they’d shared their first kiss at this same place. 

He pulled away and smiled at Nick, feeling like he could see into his soul, “Happy New Year baby, I can’t wait to spend everyday with you.”

“Happy New Year Charlie, I’m so glad I found you.”

Charlie raised himself up on his tiptoes, pulling Nick in for another long kiss.

They had no idea what the future held for them, their friends, their families, the world. The unknown was scary as fuck but also exciting in a way it hadn’t been for either of them before meeting each other. They might not know what they were facing in the coming weeks, months and years, but they did know they were facing it together, always together. And that, that was enough to make them smile. 

Chapter Text

Imogen

Imogen studied herself carefully in the mirror, angling her head side to side, trying to determine what was missing. She had her hair in soft curls, parted off to the side, with the shorter side twisted over her right ear and pinned in the back, shaved undercut on display. Her eyes were softly lined in a dark gray with black mascara drawing attention to her long curled eyelashes. On her lips, a light pink gloss shone, just barely darker than her own lip color. Something was missing, she just couldn’t put her finger on it.

(Ah, jewelry), she remembered as she hurried to her ornate wooden box to choose something appropriate to wear. It turned out to be a lot harder to make a selection than she would have thought. She loved most of her pieces, but as she contemplated wearing any of it to Nick’s wedding, she suddenly felt uncomfortable. He had gifted her most of her jewelry after all, over the course of their nearly-twenty years of marriage. Each piece called up some memory of when she received it - birthday, anniversary, Christmas. He had good taste, there were only a couple of choices she had rarely worn, and on most days, she didn’t mind wearing things he had given her. 

Their marriage had ended on good terms; at least, better than most people they knew who were divorced. It had been awkward at first, of course, like it is for any couple, but their long friendship and the reasons behind their separation overruled that feeling quickly and their relationship had stabilized to co-parents who happened to be good friends. Now, nearly three years since they had been together, Imogen still counted Nick as one of her best friends and she would do anything for him. She loved him, just not in the way she once had.

So she had continued to wear the jewelry he had given her, since they were on good terms and she liked it. This day was different though, and she couldn’t ignore that. Eventually, she chose a small pearl pendant and matching earrings that her kids had bought her for Mother’s Day one year (she knew it wasn’t only them who’d purchased it, but she felt comfortable about the significance, even today) . She was, after all, still their mother, and always would be, even if they were gaining another dad today. 

OK, not just today, Charlie had been in their lives for over a year now and they had considered him part of the family for a good six months of that year, herself included. If she were to choose someone to love and care for Nick the way he deserved, she knew she couldn’t have chosen anyone better than Charlie. He completed Nick in a way that she never had; not because she hadn’t wanted to, but because it just wasn’t part of her nature, no matter how hard she had fought to make herself be something, or rather, someone, she wasn’t.

As she reached behind her neck to clasp the chain, her mind traveled over the years she’d been married to Nick, all the joys and struggles intertwined. They’d been friends in high school, having met at their church’s youth group before they had both sworn off religion in college. Nick was the typical “boy next door” Imogen had always expected to end up with and had thrown herself into developing a relationship with him. While in college, they had dated off and on, never very seriously until their senior year when they decided to get engaged. Her conservative upbringing had convinced her to remain a virgin until her wedding night and, even though Nick hadn’t shared her convictions and had partners before her, she had held fast until they were married. She had been so caught up in the fantasy of getting married, she hadn’t really ever stopped to consider whether it was what she really wanted, or whether she was just doing it because it was what was expected.

Nick was her best friend, she had trusted him with her life, and since everything and everyone told her sex within marriage was what she was looking for, she had no reason to doubt them. In fact, she assumed she would want to have sex with Nick all the time because she was (mildly) obsessed with romance books and movies where sex was involved and she frequently gave in to the urge to pleasure herself while thinking of them. She never even contemplated the idea that her love of fictional sex wouldn’t translate into a passionate marriage. Which is why she was completely shocked, and very confused, when the reality was not what she had expected.

Imogen closed her eyes tightly as the feelings came back, her fingertips resting lightly on the chain now secured around her neck. She rarely felt sad about it anymore, but this afternoon, mere hours before Nick was due to get re-married, her heart broke a little for them, for herself. She picked up the matching earrings and slowly fitted them in the holes, the memories of the early years of their marriage flooding back.

She had spent the first years of their marriage feeling like they were playing house. They would go off to work and come home to watch movies or TV together, went out to eat at restaurants, and took short vacations.  She had dived into the typical housewife role, cooking nightly and doing all the housework. They had sex regularly those first few years, her going through the motions to convince Nick she was enjoying herself, while internally feeling like sex was more of a chore to finish, than an act to enjoy. Imogen just kept waiting for the magical, tingly feeling she had whenever she’d read a sex scene or watched one on TV, but it never came. 

She got really good at faking it though, the fictional sex she enjoyed having trained her for how it was supposed to sound and look like, so she knew Nick had no idea this was going on. As time went on though, and more of her friends got married and would talk to her about their sex lives, Imogen started to feel like there was something wrong with her. She started to notice that her body didn’t respond to Nick’s like he did to hers, and she tried to explain to him what she was feeling, but that seemed to make the situation worse. He had been so hurt when she’d told him it was just so much effort for her to have sex, that it didn’t feel good to her so she didn’t want to do it.

In retrospect, she realized that she could have talked about it differently, maybe been able to make him understand it better so he wouldn’t have taken it so personally. The problem was, Imogen herself hadn’t understood what was going on with her body. She had been afraid maybe Nick just wasn’t a good lover, he didn’t know how to please her, or maybe she was gay (she still questioned this sometimes!) and she had been too scared to hurt him with those thoughts so she had kept them to herself.

Aside from their sex life not being what either of them wanted, they had been happy in every other way (or so they thought) . They still enjoyed the same kinds of entertainment, still had fun together, still talked about important topics and agreed on them, so they had just sort of swept the sex part under the rug.

Imogen sighed, remembering the next phase of their life, the arrival of their children, so clearly that some days it seemed like yesterday. This sent her in search of Sean and Matt, who were supposed to be setting up the chairs in the garden under the tents Nick and Charlie had erected yesterday. After a final glance in the mirror, she made her way outside, shielding her eyes from the sun, as she looked for her two oldest children, now young men themselves.

Their decision to have kids had been a mutual one, the natural next step in their marriage, but also one they both really did want. They had struggled to get pregnant before Sean, suffered a miscarriage, which further turned their sex life into a chore to achieve a result rather than any pleasure. After Sean was born, Imogen had reluctantly started having sex with Nick again but it had been painful, her breasts were always sore from breastfeeding, and she was exhausted to a point where she couldn’t even think straight most days. She had felt like this gave her valid excuses to say no and so she had until they decided to try for another baby.

When she’d gotten pregnant with Matt, she and Nick had had a major fight about it because he felt so ignored by her, even though Imogen felt like she doted on him in every other area of their marriage. She took care of him, their house and their family. She had been so frustrated because she couldn’t understand why this one thing was so important to him and why he wasn’t content with what she offered him sexually, because it felt monumental for her just to be with him occasionally when she didn’t really enjoy it. 

That fight led to her eventual admittance that she had never had a real orgasm with him, which had shattered Nick to the core and broken her heart to hurt him like that, however unintentionally. She had lost the will to lie to him about it anymore so when he had pressed her to teach him how she liked it, the only thing she knew to do was to let him touch her the way she touched herself. 

This led to years of essentially mutually masturbating to make them both happy, with Nick always coming inside her like he wanted to. Imogen hadn’t been able to articulate to him, even then, that blowjobs or touching each other, didn’t turn her on like they did for him; she’d been too afraid of what that meant for her personally, and for them as a couple. It continued to feel like a chore for her, but at least she was able to orgasm as well, even though it didn’t mean anything more to her than self-pleasure did. 

Imogen shook her head, trying to get her mind back on the day before them, and all the things she needed to do to finish getting ready. She wanted everything to be perfect for them. Seeing that Sean and Matt had the chairs nearly finished, she called the four of them to gather in the living room for further instructions for set up. She sent Sean and Matt out front to place the lights along the driveway that would glow in the evening, and Niles and Heidi to help her get out the fancy disposable dishes and cutlery and arrange it nicely on the kitchen island. She watched as the younger two worked together, occasionally arguing, Niles seeming intent on irritating Heidi, or maybe she was just being a typical teenage girl, Imogen couldn’t be sure. 

The arrival of their younger two were the result of that sex arrangement. She had been so tired taking care of babies and toddlers that she had forgotten when she could get pregnant (really? How could she not have known? Or maybe she had subconsciously wanted more kids to avoid the issues her lack of interest in sex was starting to cause between them? She’d never know for sure, but at least she had them, she’d never wish them to not exist.) . In any case, their lives were so full of work, kids, the house they had bought, that sex was always the last thing on Imogen’s mind and Nick had stopped asking for the most part. Imogen remembered feeling relieved, thinking maybe he finally didn’t want her like that anymore, so she could stop feeling the internal pressure she had always put on herself to “satisfy her husband” sexually. 

However, it turned out Nick had only stopped asking because he was too hurt by his perceived rejection of himself as a person, not just the sex, and the fact that she never instigated physical contact drove the point further into his heart. She didn’t learn any of this until much later however, because at the time, they had continued to be great friends and parents together, both choosing to ignore the hole in their relationship that was slowly growing larger with each passing year. 

Daisy came bounding up the stairs from Imogen’s bedroom where she had been sleeping and stood at the front door, tail wagging excitedly. Imogen smiled, knowing it meant Nick and Charlie must have arrived. She peered out the front windows to verify she was right and saw her ex-husband and his soon-to-be-husband talking to Sean and Matt in the front yard. She smiled widely, so happy for Nick that he had found Charlie despite everything they had been through. When she really thought about it, it was all thanks to her two oldest kids that this day was even possible. It had been Matt’s best friend who had recommended Charlie to Nick when he needed a new dentist, but it was Sean who had helped Nick to feel free to embrace that possibility when it came to him.

When Sean had hit puberty and the questions about his identity filled their lives for a few years, a whole new world of understanding opened for Imogen. She had known about sexual interest, that you could be straight, or gay or on a wide spectrum in between. She’d known Nick was bisexual when he admitted to feelings he was having about a coworker, but he had chosen his family at the time and Imogen had never worried about him cheating on her because of his bisexuality. 

What she hadn’t been aware of was the spectrum of sexual desire. She’d been raised to believe that sex was a normal, natural desire, that all people wanted it - men usually more often than women - but that it was a biological urge everyone had. She was surprised then, when Sean had pointed out to her that it simply wasn’t true and had urged Imogen to do some research about it after Imogen had made a few off-hand comments about her own sex life in Sean’s vicinity. What she found out had shocked her, and also healed her. 

Finally, she had found a description that matched how she felt about and experienced sex. An identity that was real, language that could be used to explain why she loved fictional sex but cringed inwardly at the thought of having sex herself. She’d spent her entire marriage convinced there was something terribly wrong with her, something broken inside that made her unable to desire sex with Nick, and she had hated herself for it and for what it did to her husband. It had torn her up to feel like there was something fundamentally wrong with her.

When she finally had the courage to tell Nick that she was on the asexual spectrum, his relief had also been palpable, because it finally meant she wasn’t rejecting him; it didn’t mean she didn’t love him, she simply wasn’t interested in sex. The fact that there were others in the world who felt the same, enough for there to be a label for it, aegosexual, allowed Nick to accept it wasn’t about him or any failure of his or a lack of love. 

Imogen coming out to Nick led them to try and have sex just for the release, only when she thought she was comfortable with it, keeping the emotions out, with disastrous effects on both of them. Nick couldn’t have sex without it meaning everything emotionally to him; and she couldn’t have sex without having a panic attack because she felt deceptive to do it with him when she knew it meant more to him than it did to her. Her newfound understanding of herself had tried to protect her from the emotional harm it did to her to continue living a lie. These feelings had begun to fracture the rest of their relationship as well, making them both bitter and sometimes even unkind to each other.

Imogen huffed to herself remembering Nick being unkind, as this was the antithesis of who he was as a person. Seeing he was coming up the stairs to come inside, she forced herself back to the present again. She was rarely this introspective - she blamed the emotions of a wedding happening at her house today. She opened the door to greet them, even though they came in freely most days, as she wanted to say hello to them as soon as they arrived. Charlie reached forward to hug her, placing a small kiss on her cheek and thanked her again (!) for allowing them to get married in her backyard since their new house still needed a lot of work, and given the political climate at the moment, they hadn’t wanted to wait any longer to get married. 

She assured them she was very happy to be hosting, as she gave Nick a hug as well, before turning back into the kitchen to pull the finger foods and cupcakes out of the fridge and arrange them on the serving platters. She ushered them upstairs to change, promising she would be right behind them to change her own clothes in a couple of minutes. As she artfully set up the rest of the food and drinks on the island for the buffet after the short ceremony, she allowed her thoughts to complete the circle of their story that brought them to today.

When they had reached a breaking point in their sex life, they had basically decided they were going to have to either separate or stay in a sexless marriage. Neither of those options felt like the perfect solution. At first, they chose to stay together, because, despite everything, they were still best friends and were an excellent parenting team. They loved their family life and were afraid to lose it. Over time, however, Imogen had seen the longing in Nick’s eyes to be touched, to be loved in a way that she just couldn’t do without being untrue to herself. 

So even though it had killed her, she had known she couldn’t be untrue to herself any longer. She had spent nearly twenty years, all of her adult life, essentially pretending to be what Nick wanted and it had destroyed her sense of self. Eventually, nearly three years ago, she had tearfully offered Nick the chance to move on, to meet someone who could love him the way he wanted, the way she knew he deserved, even if it couldn’t be her. They had cried a lot, discussed it for weeks, before eventually coming to an arrangement that they would try to maintain for the sake of their children.

And it had worked. It had been hard and awkward for the first few weeks and months but eventually, it was just what it was. Imogen had been terrified of taking that first step to create separate lives after having been together for so long, of having to learn to live without Nick being there all the time. But she had done it; they had done it. They were friends and co-parents, who shared a house and an apartment equally. To most people, it was an incredibly odd arrangement, but it worked for them. 

Then, Nick met Charlie. Imogen had known something was different from the first time Nick had talked to her about his new dentist, the way his eyes lit up and he tried to keep his lips from breaking into a smile, alerting her that Nick cared about this person in a way she had never seen before. She watched, not saying anything, as she saw Nick come out of the shell he had buried himself in, until he resembled the younger man she had loved all those years ago.

When she finally met Charlie, and saw them together, she had hugged him tightly, knowing he would be in her family’s life forever, because he was so obviously Nick’s person. Secretly, she had wanted to not like him, wanted Nick to have been happier with her, but she recognized now that that was the part of her that still fought back against the asexuality inside her. The part that made her wish she was “normal” occasionally, even though most of the time she was perfectly content to be on her own. She actually liked it that way. She could eat what she wanted, spend her money how she wanted, read or watch whatever she wanted, without having to take a partner into account anymore. She was content with her life as it was and was so happy that her best friend had found someone who would love him the way he deserved. 

Imogen did a final check that everything was arranged the way she wanted it, knowing Nick would likely come by and change it all once he was dressed. He was planning to cut some flowers to add to the little mason jars they had collected from thrift stores and spread them around the food area and on the tables in the yard. They had only been engaged since the end of May, Charlie having popped the question while they were away in Chicago visiting his brother, but they wanted to do it quick and simple, just in case the government tried to strip marriage rights like it appeared was part of their plan. Imogen fought back her anger at the current situation, determined to make this a joyful event.

Nick and Charlie came downstairs at that moment, both dressed in lightweight cotton suits, Charlie’s a light grey and Nick’s a soft green, the colors complimenting each other’s and their outdoor garden theme. They rushed her off to change, calling to the kids to finish getting ready as well.

Imogen slipped her ankle length light purple dress on and her feet into white sandals, thinking of her kids, feeling thankful that she knew they approved of their papa’s choice, that they had come to love Charlie as a second dad. She knew Charlie wasn’t replacing her, but rather, he was joining them as parents. It was obvious how much he loved their four children, that he would do anything for them, and she was so grateful for how things were turning out.  

The decision to host her ex-husband’s wedding at her house had been met with surprise and questions from their friends and family, even those closest to them had been unsure if it was the best idea for Imogen to offer it to them. They’d considered getting married at Sarah’s place on the lake but with the distance to drive there, they had been worried some people wouldn’t come. They had closed on their own house just two weeks ago and the yard was in serious disrepair, which Nick had been excited about because he could start fresh with how he liked it (good luck, Charlie!) , but that made it another non-option. Knowing they were quite desperate to get married quickly, Imogen had offered her house to them. At first, they had been hesitant, but she had insisted that she wasn’t bothered about it, that she was very happy they were getting married. And she was, she really was. 

Even today, the date of the wedding, Imogen was thrilled to be hosting. She loved Nick, he was the father of her children and one of her best friends, and the more time she spent with him, the more she was coming to love Charlie as well. He had been a godsend for Niles, taking him under his wing with the drums and encouraging him through his eating disorder. He was a loud advocate for trans rights, marching alongside Sean at protests against the government attempts to eliminate trans identities. He’d supported and assisted Matt with his UW applications, helping him secure a nearly full-ride scholarship, and he had even managed to build a relationship with Heidi when he signed them both up for a comic book drawing class together. 

Nick meeting, and now marrying, Charlie had had a positive impact on all of their lives, including Imogen’s. As much as she hated to admit it, sometimes she didn’t know how to connect with her own children, and it was a blessing to her that they had another positive adult role model to fill some of the gaps she knew she couldn’t on her own. Beyond the role he had in their children’s lives (who were actually well on their way to adulthood themselves) , Imogen really liked Charlie. He was funny in a sarcastic way and really passionate about politics and the world around him. He was also incredibly caring, and willing to do almost anything to help others. She admired him in so many ways.

So, yeah, it might look weird to other people that her ex-husband was getting married at her house, in her own backyard, but she didn’t feel weird about it. It felt right to her. And fuck anyone who had a different opinion. She and Nick had been determined to do things differently in their relationship than what was expected, and this was just another way she planned to do so. 

The doorbell rang, and Imogen scurried up the stairs, Daisy at her heels, to greet Sarah who was standing at the front door with a large gift in her arms. She could see Charlie’s family pulling into the cul-de-sac to park so she left the door open as she ushered Sarah inside.

“Sarah, you know you don’t have to ring the bell or knock, just come in!” Imogen scolded gently, giving her former mother-in-law a gentle side hug and took the gift from her arms to place on the table on the front porch Niles had set up. 

“Oh sorry, Imogen, I didn’t realize that’s what the table was there for!” Sarah apologized.
“Yours is the first, so of course you didn’t. Now, everyone else behind you will know,” she responded brightly. “Come in, Nick and Charlie are in the back, and I think the kids are just finishing getting dressed so they should be down soon.”

“Can I do anything to help?” Sarah asked, her eyes scanning the room. “I see Nick has been picking his flowers.”

Imogen looked around, having gone straight to the door, her eyes lighting up at the beautiful little arrangements of flowers Nick had placed on the counter and the table where the food lay. She imagined there were similar mini displays scattered throughout the backyard on the standing tables they had rented. Unable to secure enough tables for everyone at the last minute, they had taken what they could get and had borrowed a half a dozen square card tables from friends as well. The boys would quickly set them up and cover with cream colored tablecloths after the short ceremony. 

When Sarah left her to go greet the men, Imogen turned to Charlie’s family who were making their way up the front steps. Having already known Tori and Michael for years because of their son Ryan’s friendship with Matt, she reached for them first with a quick hug each, telling Ryan he could go find Matt, before stretching her hand to welcome Charlie’s parents with a gentle shake.

“Hello, it’s so wonderful to meet you! I’m Imogen, Nick’s ex-wife. You must be Jane and Julio?”

Jane’s eyes widened slightly, looking surprised at her exuberance, but Imogen was used to that since most people were surprised at how outgoing she was. They shook her hand and said hello, thanking her for allowing the men to get married there.

“I was happy to do it,” Imogen stressed, “I love them both and am thrilled for them.”

Turning to the young man standing next to them, she smiled widely, “And you must be Oliver! You look so much like Charlie!”

When he nodded and extended his hand, she shook it warmly and then invited them to join the others in the backyard. Seeing no one else arriving at the moment, she led the way, checking everything was ready as they went. Charlie had set up a couple of speakers throughout the yard and gentle piano music was filtering through. The sun had just reached a low enough angle that the entire yard was now in the shade, allowing it to feel significantly cooler there than in the front of the house where the sun was still blazing. 

Stepping into the backyard, she smiled at how simple, yet beautiful it was with the cream colored fabrics on the tents and the tall tables contrasting with the black folding chairs, among all the flowers and plants bursting with color at the moment. Nick and Charlie had strung white lights around each of the four tents, although it would still be light most of the time they were there, the sky staying bright late at this point of the summer. Their families mingled, the rising sounds of their voices and laughter creating a lovely energy despite the summer heat.

Hearing the sound of car doors through the open front entrance, Imogen made her way to greet the next guests, wondering why she was greeting them instead of Nick and Charlie. (Oh well, they can greet them outside. It is my house, after all.) She knew pretty much everyone coming anyway. She squealed when she saw who was hurrying up the driveway and threw her arms around Tara and Darcy when they reached the top of the steps and placed their gift on the small table. 

“Oh my god! I’m so happy to see you both!” Imogen exclaimed excitedly. “It feels like it’s been forever!”

Tara laughed, “Im, we saw you last week! At the baseball game, remember?”

Imogen flicked her hand at them, “I know! Still, it seems like a long time since we’ve hung out, we should have lunch together soon!”

Darcy agreed. “How are you doing? With all of this?” They asked quietly, gesturing towards the gifts and the cacophony coming from the back yard. 

Imogen smiled and nodded, “I’m fine, guys. Really, I’m so happy for them.”

Even though they didn’t look one hundred percent convinced, they chose to let it go and headed towards the noise, which only grew louder when Darcy entered the scene. 

Seeing another car pull around the circle and then park along the neighboring street, Imogen waited at the door for whoever it was. A few couples made their way to the house and Imogen smiled at them in welcome, introducing herself to them even though they looked familiar. The three sets of people were co-workers of Nick’s from his school, fellow teachers, which is why Imogen recognized them. She indicated they should head on through the house to the backyard as she turned to say hello to the next group she could see coming from a distance.

She broke into a big smile when she saw Isaac was one of them and she waved her hands in excitement. He waved back and then said something to the couple with him, a tall dark haired man and a woman with caramel colored skin and long braids. She knew immediately they were Charlie’s best friends from his childhood, here from LA for the wedding.

Isaac hurried up the stairs, a book in his arms, and enveloped Imogen in a tight hug.

“Are you doing OK, babe?” he asked her, looking into her eyes. He knew her so well that he understood her thoughts without her even needing to say them aloud. He nodded perceptively and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. 

“How are you?” she asked him. “What book did you bring this time?” nodding toward the leather bound volume in his hands.

“It’s not a book actually! It’s my notes for the ceremony…” he defended himself.

The woman with the long braids, Elle, Imogen remembered, pulled open the colorful large bag she had slung over her shoulder and retrieved a novel from it to show Imogen. “Oh, don’t worry he has a book too!” she assured her.

After securing the bag back on her arm, she extended her hand to Imogen. “Hi, you must be Imogen; I’m Elle and this is my husband, Tao. We’re Charlie’s friends from school.”

As she gently shook both of their hands, Imogen smiled and welcomed them to her home. “I’ve heard a lot about you both, from Isaac and Charlie too! I look forward to getting to know you a bit more later.”

“Definitely,” Elle emphasized as they hurried through to see Charlie.

Imogen took a deep breath, mentally calculating everyone Nick and Charlie had told her to expect, and decided the only people missing were Nick’s colleague Sahar who ran the GSA with him and the two hygienists from Charlie’s office. She was debating going into the yard to visit with Tara and Darcy when she saw a few more cars pulling in. Assuming it was them, she could say hello and then be able to close the house from the front and enjoy the party. While she waited, she enlisted Matt and Ryan to come help move the small gift table inside once everyone had arrived.

Two women were climbing the stairs as she hurried back to the door, one about Sarah’s age and another closer to her own. Imogen smiled and asked, “Are you here for Nick and Charlie’s wedding?” inclining her head at the gifts they carried. 

When they nodded, she welcomed them, telling them who she was while they shook hands.

“I’m Melissa and this is Rachel,” the older woman said, “We work at Charlie’s office. You have wonderful children, by the way. We adore them.”

Imogen broke into a wide smile, it was always so nice when people said good things about her kids. “Thank you so much, I appreciate that. Um, everyone is out back…I think we’ll be starting shortly.” She watched them hurry through the house and emerge through the sliding doors and, feeling the porch shake beneath her feet, she turned back to meet the final guest.

Her heart lodged in her throat as Imogen stared at the woman climbing the steps, an envelope in her hand. She had long dark hair and wide deep brown eyes and Imogen felt like the breath had gone out of her. She shook herself out of her reverie, not understanding what was happening, and forced a smile onto her face as she said hello. 

“Uh, hi…I’m Imogen…um, Nick’s ex?”

The woman grinned broadly at her, revealing a stunning white smile, and said, “Hi! I’m Sahar, I work with Nick. He’s told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already!” Sahar stretched out her hand towards Imogen and she accepted it in a soft shake. She felt a draw to this woman, a desire to get to know her. 

“Um…are you alone? Nick said your girlfriend would be coming with you?”

At that, Sahar’s face fell a little but quickly smoothed over. “Sorry, yeah, she had planned to but we actually broke up a couple weeks ago, I just haven’t had the chance to tell Nick yet.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. God, now I feel bad bringing her up…” Imogen cringed internally, she was really making a great impression here.

“It’s totally fine, don’t worry about it, you couldn't have known. Anyway, we’re still friends, I think we'll be better off as friends anyway.”

Imogen nodded dumbly, and then gestured for Sahar to follow her into the backyard. Glancing at the clock on the wall as she walked through, she saw it was only five minutes until they intended to start, so she hurried to tell the boys it was time to bring the table in and then find their seats. Looking around after talking to them, she saw Sahar had gone to sit with the other fellow teachers from the school. Her heart lurched a little; she’d wanted to sit near her, she realized.

It was almost time for the ceremony to start though, so she found Sarah and together they sat in the row directly behind her children who were seated in the first row. Across the narrow aisle, Charlie’s parents were in the front row and his siblings, Michael and Ryan filled the second. Their friends and co-workers filled the remaining small section, the entire group facing a custom-made arch from Tara that Nick had covered in flowers.

Nick and Charlie stood at the front of the gathering, holding hands and facing their family and friends. Isaac stood behind them, fidgeting nervously.

“Thank you so much for coming to celebrate with us this evening,” Nick said, his voice catching on the final word.

“We know it was a bit last minute…but given everything going on…we didn’t want to wait,” Charlie took over. “We didn’t want a big wedding anyway so this will be short and sweet. And we hope you’ll all stay and hang out with us afterwards. We have finger foods and Nick spent all day yesterday baking about a thousand cupcakes…” Charlie laughed as he looked at Nick affectionately.

“OK, you two, I think it’s my turn to talk now,” Isaac interjected. “I got ordained on the internet and everything for this…” Everyone laughed and Nick and Charlie turned to face Isaac. Imogen felt her heart thump a little harder, whether it was anticipation or a bit of sadness, she didn’t know.

“I’ve known Charlie since we were 14 years old, two nerds in high school who loved to read so much we hung out in the library during lunch. We became friends our first year and eventually added Elle and Tao to our little group. I think we all felt a bit like outcasts in school but together, we felt safe and valued. We looked out for each other and supported each other through a lot of hard times. Now I have the pleasure of working with Charlie which means I was the first one to meet Nick and, along with Tori, watched as they flirted their way into love. Nick was a true bisexual disaster every time he came into the office before they became a couple and it was the highlight of my week each time. Since then, I have seen Charlie blossom into his truest self, and I know from what Imogen tells me that Nick has as well. So, it is an incredible honor to be asked to officiate their wedding.”

Imogen smiled widely at Isaac, knowing how nervous he was to speak in front of people, even this small of a group. She gave him a subtle wink in encouragement as he took a deep breath to continue.

“I believe you both wrote your own vows?” he inquired. When they nodded, he indicated they should please share.

They turned to face each other and Imogen frantically realized she had forgotten to place tissues outside. Nick already had tears trickling down his cheeks and she could see the wetness gathering in Charlie’s.

“Charlie,” Nick’s voice broke and he cleared his throat to speak again. “When I met you, I had assumed a love like I wanted wasn’t possible for me. I didn’t think I would ever meet someone who would love me as much as I loved them, who would want me as much as I wanted them…you proved me wrong. With you, Charlie, I am a better me…not a different me, just a better one. You inspire me every day and make me fall more in love with you every day… just by being you… So, today, I promise to stay by your side through all the good and the bad, to always love you and support you, to laugh together and to cry together. I love you Charlie Spring…and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He’d fought tears the entire time he was speaking, pausing to collect himself multiple times, his emotions evident on his face. Imogen smiled hearing Nick’s words, so happy he had found the person for him that she couldn’t be. 

Charlie took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully, struggling to speak the words he wanted to say. 

“Nick, there aren’t enough words to tell you how much I love you or to express…how grateful I am that you came into my life. I’m so glad you went to a baseball game…and broke your tooth because it led you to me. You are the kindest, most tender-hearted man I have ever met and I can’t believe I get to be the one to experience that love and care…I promise to always make you feel seen and heard, to appreciate all the little things that make you you , to spend every day loving you the way you deserve. I love you Nicholas Nelson…and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Nick took Charlie’s face in his hands, pulling him in for a tender kiss.

“Wait wait wait!” Isaac interrupted, the audience laughing loudly. “It's not time yet!”

Nick shrugged sheepishly, “I couldn’t help myself.” More laughter rippled through the crowd.

“Alright. Nick, do you take Charlie to be your lawful husband?” Nick nodded emphatically, eyes never leaving Charlie’s.

“And Charlie, do you take Nick to be your lawful husband?” Charlie giggled and then loudly said, “Yes!”

“Then, by the power invested in me by the state of Washington, I proudly pronounce you, husband and husband!” Isaac said with heavy emotion, leading the group to break into applause. 

“You may now kiss each other.”

“Finally,” Charlie muttered before pulling Nick close again. Their lips met tenderly as they wrapped their arms around each other.

Imogen stood to cheer with everyone, clapping loudly, her heart full. It was bittersweet that it wasn’t her who had been able to fulfill everything Nick needed; but, as she watched them kiss passionately, she was confident that Charlie would love him in all the ways she couldn’t and make him as happy as he deserved.