Chapter Text
Jamison and Mako have been together for a week and continue to do their rehearsals very frequently. Every day, Mako takes Jamison to his apartment, just as Lúcio used to do when it comes to driving. But that didn’t bother his friend group; it’s what it’s like when someone is in a relationship.
The apprentice liked staying at Mako’s apartment; the coach gave him extra clothes after a shower to help him stay over and continue the rehearsals.
…
Jamison woke up alone in Mako’s bedroom and began to check up on social media. His feed is filled with the ballet studio’s promotion for the recital. Time is passing fast. Once the big day in November is here, the Aussie must do everything he can to make everyone proud of him.
He’s the apprentice taking the lead role, and it’s the most important achievement he has ever gotten. If only his parents were alive at that time.
Thankfully, his grandmother found out during a phone call with Jamison.
Mako, on the other hand, was making coffee for himself. He understands that Jamison never drinks any of that stuff, so perhaps he should take him to a cafe around Gibraltar… after a bowl of Lúcio-Ohs.
Maybe it would be nice to have a date before heading to the studio at 9 am.
He finished his coffee, pouring it into his favorite mug, and walked towards his room. He hoped Jamison was still asleep. With one free hand opening the door, Mako looks at Jamison, and his eyes immediately widen in shock.
“Mornin', Mako.” Jamison greeted him with his legs spread while bending over the bed. The blanket covered his bottom, his body glimmering from the morning light. “Sorry for keeping you waiting.”
There goes his coffee spilling over the floor from those shaky hands.
Jamison started his beckoning sign, signaling Mako to come towards him. He wasn’t done with being horny this time.
“Come here, Mako.”
His body was so mesmerizing; what was Mako thinking? And his face was like a beautiful shepherd boy, the one Jamison’s performing as.
Mako lowered his whistle. “Looking like a statue from the Louvre, Jamie. What made you think about that?” After his sip, he placed his mug on the nightstand.
“Needed to start my morning with a bit of that sexy shit we do,” he rubbed Mako’s skin circularly. “You promised that since you were tired last night, Mako.”
“Right. You want to do that before we head to the cafe?” Mako asked, caressing the Aussie’s cheeks. “It’s around Gibraltar before we head to the studio.”
Jamison nodded his head while answering. “I’d like that… Tell you what, why don’t you let me take care of you for today?”
Mako pressed his lips onto Jamison’s forehead. “I’d like that…” He lifted him into his arms and sat down on the bed. “Need me to do something before you dominate me?”
Jamison was sitting down on Mako’s lap and reached his hand to take down his ponytail, letting the silver hair run free. “So gorgeous…” He then gave Mako a searing kiss, their lips meeting again.
The man returned it while Jamison shifted his body again. They both deepened their kiss while the apprentice’s limbless arm ran under Mako’s tank top.
They took it off together since the coach can’t let Jamison do it by himself. The young man’s lips started to run all over his body as mumbles began to escape from Mako’s lips.
“What a pretty man…” Jamison let go of his beloved and bent down on the floor, taking off the man’s sweatpants along with his underwear. His left hand crawled on the man’s hardened cock and sensually caressed it gently, causing Mako to cover his face. The coach’s cheeks were burning red as Jamison smirked devilishly.
“Pretty please?”
Mako peeked out for a little bit, brushing his younger man’s hair. He nodded while biting his lips. Jamison knew the answer was yes. And Mako wanted it so bad.
It was just like how Mako had imagined it those past weeks, except it was all different. Jamison continued to caress Mako’s cock, and his limbless arm rubbed towards the man’s shaky thighs.
The fact that an Aussie’s so damn good with something like this makes Mako feel crazy for more.
It’s like Jamison doesn’t just look like a painting; he looks like a beautiful actor from a pornographic movie. He thought of it as a softcore erotic movie that focused on those majestic eyes.
If anything, he would be a cyclops while Jamison is the shepherd boy, kissed by the gods for his beauty.
“You like this?” He cooed while listening to Mako’s whimpers. “Would this make you put me in the galleries?” He sticks out his tongue, starting to lick at the base of Mako’s cock. Jamison used his lips and hands together, swirling his tongue around the skin.
Gray eyes and amber eyes were locked, like two souls in a window.
Mako’s cheeks continued to burn, with his body trembling like an earthquake, moaning the Aussie’s name. “J-Jamie…” He continued to imagine that they were just in a quiet forest filled with flora and nature.
“Just like that, Jamie…” he whispered. “F-Fuck…”
Jamison continued his deed, simply willing to fuck Mako up with his swollen lips. It made the man forget about the cafe, the rehearsals, the plans... Mako was getting closer to the edge. So, fucking close to coming.
Jamison stopped sucking his cock and breathed animalistically. His hand continued to caress the sloppy skin from his spit. He wanted to fuck himself with that cock filled with his spit right now, but he needed to wait for God knows how long until the rehearsal ended.
His reddened lips began to smile when he heard loud moaning and ragged breaths from Mako again.
“Mmh! J-Jamie!”
Without any warning, he shoots his semen towards Jamison’s tongue, but not as intensely as the other times they had sex. Jamison didn’t care about it; he was just licking off the small, hot trails coming out from Mako’s cock.
“Oh god…” he mumbled shakily.
The younger man licked his reddened lips with his continuous sensual bite. “So fuckin’ sexy when you’re like that, love…” He kisses the head of Mako’s cock softly.
Mako cups Jamison’s face with a sly smile. “Yeah… just like an erotic scene.”
“We should do these kinds of films just for ourselves.” Jamison nuzzled his face on the flesh.
“And have Jack find out about our privacy? I don’t think so.”
“Oi, fuck off! I said that it was for ourselves!” He giggled softly as Mako lifted Jamison again.
“Just saying, Jamie. The world would’ve probably had a heart attack, and paparazzi would nonstop ask about our private life.” He chuckled. “Let’s save that for later; I need you to get ready for today’s rehearsal. And there’s this cafe that’s, like, around Gibraltar that I think you’d like.”
“Fine. Just please let me get moving right along… I have my routine waiting for me.” Their lips intertwined again.
…
Everything in the rehearsals put a lot of pressure on Jamison and Satya. Having a lead role feels tiring, and the fact that she had tons of performances for all three acts makes it very hard for Vaswani to make sure everything turns out to be perfect. It was like she was preparing herself for a nightmare, even if Satya didn’t realize that.
Jamison doesn’t have any performances in act two, so at least he’ll take a huge break and talk it out with Mako… But he had so much pressure being put on him from Akande and Reinhardt, even if no one was getting closer to the date of the recital.
Jamison couldn’t even process it all yet; he had to just suck it up and get back to his coach. Mako knew something was wrong due to Jamison’s numerous fake smiles, so he decided to talk to Reinhardt before Act 3. No wonder he didn’t feel like coming back to the studio to perform ever again.
The noises from the crowd were killing Jamison’s ears. Something about it makes him feel the emotions coming over. All that Jamison wished for was to silence everyone and prevent the pressuring rehearsal.
Even if Mako defended Jamison, nothing made him feel any better. He was so tired of the pressure that even Reinhardt’s advice wasn’t helping at all.
He even thought of whether Satya was feeling the same way he was thinking of.
During Act Three, Jamison felt like his body became so heavy, everything was lifted with perfection for Reinhardt.
The first few performances, and even his second variation, became a success. But he kept questioning himself if he was taking any wrong steps.
Was he turning his head down? Is his smile perfect? Is his back straightened like any dancer should be doing? Is he a little boy for Reinhardt? Is he only doing this just to repeat the same old steps every day?
…
“Jamison, you don’t need to lift me so often. What’s gotten into you lately?” Satya asked with her eyebrow raised.
Jamison sighed, lifting his partner down. “I have to make this perfect,” he answered while crossing his hands. “If Reinhardt wants this rehearsal to be perfect, then I’ll make it happen. It’s what he wants, Satya.”
She shook her head. “Odd… We have so much time before the recital this November; it’s still September, and Professor Wilheim is pressuring everyone to make this perfect like he planned.”
“You’re lucky that you weren’t pressured with Ana.” Before the apprentice continued his complaints, he heard Reinhard’s call towards him and Satya for their pas de deux. “Make this as perfect as it should be.”
Satya sighed, walking to their position after the other ladies finished their part.
This was it.
Jamison was ready to show Reinhardt what he could do to make him proud. He lifted Satya as she posed, her back straightened.
Jamison walked as if he were in discovery with glamorous ways. First, he watched Reinhardt, who was sitting in the chair, focused.
The apprentice walked on on his tiptoes again, with his back straightened. He looked at his beloved Mako, crossing his hands with a thumbs-up for encouragement.
He tiptoes again, watching both Vivian and Ana in the mirror reflection. Jamison faked his smile, hoping that no one would tell him otherwise.
He tiptoed one last time, looking at the dancers in the mirror reflection. All eyes are on Jamison Fawkes. Yet, no one noticed he was getting overwhelmed with perfection.
Everything with Satya must be perfect.
Jamison walked around as he reached the middle, while Satya switched her arms to pose again. He gently lifted her down, bowing shortly as they both began their performance together.
Mako watched Satya’s twirls while the Aussie walked around her. It was just like what Reinhardt taught them both.
As the seconds passed, Zenyatta in the crowded area couldn’t be fooled by Jamison’s fake smile due to his senses. He was determined to help out when necessary after all was done. So did Genji Shimada when he asked what was wrong with him. After Lúcio took a little rest while drinking his water, he wasn’t fooling around either.
Watch Jamison fake a smile? Not on his watch.
Almost two minutes were ticking, and Jamison carefully lifted Satya until he tripped on his own feet, dropping her with a loud thud.
The crowd gasped as they listened to something pop off. Satya and Jamison hissed in pain, watching Mako, Reinhardt, Niran, and Angela Ziegler running towards them to help.
“Oh my goodness!” Reinhardt called. “Are you both okay?”
“Oh my God, please be okay!” He immediately runs towards the woman and analyzes her until he looks at something he shouldn’t have looked at. Jamison froze, already fueled with shame, disappointment, and regret.
She was missing an arm.
And it was his fault for hurting Satya like this…
Jamison watched Satya lying on the floor with horror, hyperventilating as if he had hurt his partner. Everything felt heavy for Jamison, and he seriously took all the blame on himself.
His lungs felt tight. His foot was stuck on the heavy anvil. He felt a lump in his throat. His brain was this close to a shutdown. His heart skipped more beats, and his hands began to tremble.
And he was shedding tears from his eyes as everyone looked at Satya. He can already envision the shame and anger from Reinhardt and the dancers. Even the possible breakup that would evolve from his beloved Mako Rutledge.
The expectations were coming to his head, and the voices were killing him.
Jamison never wanted Satya to blame him for an accident.
He immediately began to run away from the situation, exiting the center of the classroom. Fawkes ran upstairs to look for a quiet bathroom.
…
Jamison immediately closed the door in fear, hyperventilating as his body began to shake, and he felt the texture of a static TV screen.
He grabbed his turtleneck and pulled it forward and back rapidly as if he was about to get suffocated from a piece of texture. He moaned in his cries, his tears staining his lap.
His cries were getting louder.
He squints his eyes, vision turning black quickly. He felt as if he was going through a tantrum to please the world. He was so overwhelmed that it was going to drain his energy.
Jamison cried his lungs out, gripping his hair and hitting his head with his fist. He felt stupid that he was this close to insulting himself and screaming out the most vulgar words as a threat to himself. “FUCK!”
He was this close to breaking his bones from hitting a table or stomping his feet. Jamison cried like a baby, as he was always meant to be.
No one will ever see Jamison as a grown man again.
He will always be a 10-year-old toddler, even if he’s just a 27-year-old boy.
“I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!”
He panted and continued to cry, knowing so well he wouldn’t even want anyone’s help. He felt the dizziness controlling him; the overwhelming cries were echoing in the bathroom.
He felt the unexpected visit from the familiar man as the door opened.
“Jamie?”
Jamison panted heavily, his body shaking like a leaf. His tears spilled around his cheeks, and he felt the touch on his shoulders. He suddenly turned to Mako, the love of his life.
“Jamie…” Mako wasn’t a stranger to Jamison’s meltdowns. He knows what it’s like; he knew it was up to him to make sure Fawkes was in a safe space. The younger man looked up at Rutledge, breaking down again.
“M-Mak-ko-o…!” He cried with his reddened lips. “Reinhardt might hate me… w-won’t he?”
Mako sat on the floor, his eyes focused on Jamison.
“H-he might’ve already taken me out of the lead role…” He whimpered and panted so fast while panicking. “I fucked it up, didn’t I, Mako?”
The area was filled with hiccups and cries that Mako could only watch.
“Satya might hate me…” He quavered, his eyes trying to gain his focus on Mako. “She lost her arm because of a mistake… She was amputated because of—” he snapped, realizing what he had done and what he had found out about Satya. “No, NO!”
“She never—FUCK!” He screamed as he panted heavily, stimming uncontrollably as he stomped his feet again. “I hurt her, Mako! I didn’t hold her properly!”
Mako saw the terror in Jamison’s eyes.
“I HURT SATYA, MAKO!”
Mako’s heart broke for him. The pressure and the accident made his beloved feel like this. Jamison immediately hugged him and sobbed like a baby, like he was always meant to be. The soloist didn’t care that his shirt was stained from the younger man’s tears. All he did was wrap his arms around Jamison’s back and brush his hair gently with his fingers.
Later, Mako heard footsteps from the hallways. It was none other than Zenyatta and Genji coming in a hurry. They hoped they weren’t a bother to the coach.
Genji cleared his throat to bring attention. “Mr. Rutledge? We don’t mean to interrupt your company with Jamison. Maybe Master and I can help him communicate and understand the problem.”
The man nodded, his head facing Jamison. “Jamie, Zenyatta would like to help you out.” He called while brushing the Aussie’s cheeks. “I won’t leave you, but will you let him help you?”
“N-No. I don’t want to do this without you, Mako.” He panted with full regret. He didn’t like the attention around him. He knew he had caused this commotion to let a classmate help him.
On the other hand, it felt like a replacement for him. Jamison hates it when someone who isn’t Mako or his therapist helps him with his problems.
“Master is like a therapist for the studio.” Genji gave the Aussie a reassuring smile. “He helped me when I was at my worst. You can trust him.”
“Zenyatta studied psychology,” Mako clarified. “And he might bring out a few things to destress you. I will stay and support you.”
With a few minutes to spare with his thoughts, Jamison nodded in defeat. He never wanted it to happen, but it was the only way to leave the mess. He felt like a little kid who was helped by grown-ups when he fell on his knees, leaving a big scratch.
Zenyatta bent down and brought the stress toys to help him out.
“You can choose any of them, Jamison.” He nodded. “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I will listen to you.”
Jamison chose the stress ball and began to squeeze it. He took his breath, and tears began to pour down his face. He felt muted and silenced. He didn’t want to talk.
More regrets were crushing his brain.
Genji brought Fawkes some tissues, only for them to get immediately snatched. “What happened?”
“I-I hurt Satya…. I couldn’t lift her properly, and I tripped over my feet.” Jamison responded with his quavering voice. “I broke her arm… and Reinhardt might’ve taken me out of the lead role…”
“The rehearsal was p-perfect… And now I just fucked it up…” He blew his nose with the tissue. “He’s going to kick me out of the lead role. He’ll replace me with someone else who’s better off as a lead role…”
Zenyatta shook his head softly. “He won’t take away your role, Jamison. What you did was just an accident, and it’s very valid to make mistakes. Not everything must turn out to be perfect.”
“Reinhardt might’ve pressured you.” Genji sighed and crossed his hands.
Mako nodded. “If he wanted the rehearsal to be perfect, he could’ve had that when we’re closer to November. September’s like super early to do that shit.”
“And about her arm, she and Niran had a prosthetic arm way before joining the studio as an exchange student,” Genji clarified.
As Zenyatta allowed Jamison to calm down, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Genji checked in, finding out it was Satya Vaswani.
“Is Jamison here? There are some things I want to chat about.”
Genji nodded and faced Zenyatta. “Master, Satya wants to talk with Jamison.”
The Omnic nodded, now turning towards the Aussie. “Would you like to talk with her? She wants to say a few words with you.”
Jamison felt ashamed when he heard Satya’s name, but to no avail, he sighed with defeat. “Sure.”
“I will tell her everything about the situation in the rehearsal from your side if that’s alright with you. I’m sure she’ll understand that.
Everyone stood up from the floor, making sure nothing was left behind. As Jamison continued holding that stress ball while leaving the bathroom, he saw his partner with her arm all repaired.
Jamison felt ashamed. Seeing Satya felt like a slap in the face. He knew that if she listened to his meltdown, she would see him as a little kid.
He sat down next to her, wanting everything to be over with.
“I wanted to talk to you about the rehearsal and something we’ve made a mistake on.” She faced Jamison with a worried face. “I believe I have upset you with something about our error. When I fell, my left arm just popped off, making you believe that you harmed me by not lifting me properly.”
Jamison turned his head to Satya, still not smiling.
“I never told you about my left arm… And I believed that I would’ve bothered you if I told you about it, but…” Satya came a little closer to show him her prosthetic arm. “I am indeed an amputee. I lost my arm from an accident like you way before moving to Gibraltar.”
Jamison shed a tear again, feeling more ashamed.
“I promise you that you didn’t do any harm to me. It was an error we caught on. I am still fine; I can still dance and make that error right.” Satya smiled softly with reassurance. “If you want, we can make it right next week.”
She knew how much Jamison was already exhausted, knowing how much he didn’t want to end up on the corner of his embarrassment from the studio.
Satya smiled. “I’ll talk with Vivian and Reinhardt about it. You can get out whenever you want to with Mako.”
Mako raised his eyebrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You’re both free to leave today. Jamison looks very exhausted.”
He nodded. “Most of the time after his meltdown, Jamie gets tired and unmotivated.”
“In that case, I will notify Reinhardt about it.” Satya smiled softly. “I’ll see you both next week unless I notify you of my requirements to practice the choreographies. Please stay safe and have a great weekend.”
“Same to you. Thanks, Satya.”
Thank God Mako allowed Jamison to stay in his apartment.
…
While Jamison and Mako walked around the city, the apprentice received messages from his friends and the studio. To prevent his thoughts of being an attention seeker, he chose to ignore them. He wanted the day to come to an end and forget about the incident. Surprisingly, Jamison kept the stress ball that Zenyatta brought him. Hopefully, he’ll give it back to him once next week hits.
To make him feel better, Mako bought him one of his favorite fast food orders. Those tasty nuggets and fries. He can only feed them every Tuesday and Thursday, but due to this godawful meltdown, it will be a free day, and they’ll skip to another day. The man hoped that it could somehow make him feel calmer. Later, they came to the cafeteria that Mako was talking about in the morning.
The things Mako ordered for himself at the cafeteria were served, and for a few bites, he noticed that Jamison wasn’t doing anything with his fast food pickup bag. Worried that he could lose weight or starve, he eyed his beloved.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” He asked with a softened tone, no pressure given. Jamison looked up at Mako and closed the phone.
“I like eating at your place.”
Mako nodded after a sip of his water. “I know you do, Jamie. But your food will get cold if you don’t eat. It won’t heat itself.”
Jamison didn’t say anything, looking away with shame. He sighed with his lips closed.
“I understand that your day didn’t turn out great.” Mako gave him a reassuring smile again. “Why don’t we dance around the city to make you feel better?”
The younger didn’t want to say no to that. He opens the bag and organizes his food. “Sure...”
“Take your time, Jamie.”
That saddened face turned bright for a while. There it is, that gorgeous smile Mako loved seeing. They continued to chatter about other things while feasting on their food.
…
Jamison and Mako returned to the apartment with their exhausted laughs echoing in the hallway. The younger rests himself against the wall, breathing with relief due to the aftermath of running in the city. Mako’s eyes focused on the Aussie again with a gentle smile curled on his lips.
Jamison grinned, his amber eyes locked on Mako’s gray eyes.
He comes towards the man with his lips meeting Rutledge’s. The man kissed him back with no hesitation as a response. Big hands ran on Jamison’s leotard while Mako wrapped his arms around the younger man’s body. Their lips were separated as Fawkes bit his lips.
When they entered the living room, they placed their bags on the couch. Once it was all secured, they wasted no time getting to the room.
Mako sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around Jamison’s body, his mouth pressing on the crook of his neck. The man rubbed them gently, his fingers running through the zipper of his romper-leotard, unzipping it. Jamison smiled and kissed the coach’s ears gently, sighing.
“Don’t you dare rip it, Mako.” Jamison took out Mako’s ponytail, letting the silver hair loose.
“It’s vintage.”
The man giggled as he let go of the leotard, which dropped on the floor carelessly. “I literally bought that for you.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Jamison carefully takes off Mako’s clothes, dropping them next to the leotard. Once they were laid to their bed, he began to crawl onto Mako’s thighs and planted his smooches on them.
His left hand caressed his skin, smiling gently into his gray eyes. Mako shivered slightly, his eyes darkening.
“I want to get to the part where we left off,” Jamison spoke softly while his right prosthetic hand stroked Mako’s dick.
The man brushes a strand of his long curtain bangs with his hands. “Need me to help you take off your leg?”
He shook his head as he got into his position. “Nah, I can do this myself.” Jamison’s lips opened once again, licking around Mako’s cock.
The coach threw his head on the pillow with pleasure, his eyes closed, and moans escaped from his lips. Jamison chuckled as he continued to lick on the veins, kissing them gently.
“You better open up once I prepare you.” His hands rest on the young Aussie’s blonde hair, brushing them gently.
Jamison could already taste the pre-cum from last time, kissing him on the head one more time before he takes off his underwear. He sits down on Mako’s lap, rubbing his belly. The man licked his fingers, facing his beloved.
“Come on, Mako.” He bites his lips, his left fingers tapping his clitoris gently. “I need that filthy cock of yours…”
Mako smirked and grabbed Jamison’s hips gently. “Open up, Jamie.” He opened a few drops of his lube from the nightstand and placed them on his cock, causing the shivers under his spine.
Once they released their breaths again, Mako began to slowly shove his cock inside Jamison’s wet pussy with the moans escaping from their lips.
“My pretty shepherd boy…” He quavered, his heavy hands playing with the apprentice’s body. “Ride me.”
Jamison wasted no time riding on Mako’s dick, whimpering the coach’s name as he rubbed his chest.
They continued to rock their bodies together, feeling that burning passion quickly as Mako opened his eyes. He focused on the younger man’s sweating body, holding Jamison’s hands gently for guidance. He moaned softly and increased his speed.
“You feel so good, Jamie.” He whispered loudly, listening to Jamison’s loud panting.
“A-ah, Mako… Just like that, Mako.” He gasped, shakily gripping his hair and circularly riding the coach’s cock. Mako smiled at those pleading groans. His hands began to run down his hips, gripping them. “F-Fuck.”
It was like watching Jamison having his private recital just for him. The city lights gleamed, with the darkened lamp shining through their sweating bodies. The apprentice howled while massaging his clitoris with his left fingers on speed.
Jamison continued to moan Mako’s name, taking every inch from the coach’s dick. He was so pleased knowing that it would brighten his day. The man was getting closer to the edge as he continued to thrust into Jamison’s tight pussy faster. Mako dropped his head onto the bed, rolling his gray eyes.
He imagined Jamison as a shepherd boy during a cozy evening in the garden. A lovely pornographic movie scene, which he was referring to in his mind. A cyclops fucking the shepherd boy out of love.
He loved seeing that erotic body riding on that cock. Mako gasped as he watched Jamison rasp curses, their voices getting louder without a single care about anyone listening to them.
“F-Fuck!” After one last thrust, Mako released his hot trails of semen inside the apprentice’s deep end with no warning. Jamison gasped, his vision turning black while he circularly rode again with his hips as if he were giving a show for Mako.
“Shit, M-Mako…” He released his climax as well, crying loudly in pleasure. Mako felt the warm liquid running down his belly.
While it drips on the bed, Jamison takes a deep breath and hops off the man’s dick slowly. His body felt a little sore as he rested on Mako’s belly, still processing everything that happened to him. The man dragged Jamison softly into his chest, grabbing a box of napkins. The Aussie’s breathing calmed down, and he closed his eyes again, nuzzling his chest. His body managed to calm down for a bit.
“M-Mako…” he whispered.
“Yeah?” His eyes focused on the Aussie while he began to wipe up the messy cum around the bed and their flesh.
Jamison gulped silently, hugging the man tightly. “Thank you…”
“Don’t mention it…” Mako planted his kisses onto Jamison’s forehead and slowly drifted to his slumber. The apprentice, on the other hand, continued to caress his coach’s big belly with no shame in his amber eyes.