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Your Body My Garden

Summary:

[Click]
“Hey campers…um so Elijah’s making me do the announcements this year so just please bear with me.

Good morning, I’m Jedidiah A. A. Martin and I'll be your head nurse here at Camp Here and There. You’ll be able to find me and my…now a-assistant? Elijah Volkov in the nurses' building on the southernmost outskirts of the grounds.”
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My take on The Black Cat Man au.

Notes:

Credit to @tibby-art on tumblr for creating this au! Also credit to Blue Mayfield for the general idea and title of this fic. I saw it in one of the fundraising streams and have not stopped thinking about it since.

Chapter 1: FILE 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

[Click]

JEDIDIAH:

Hey campers…um so Elijah’s making me do the announcements this year so just please bear with me. 

Good morning, I’m Jedidiah A. A. Martin and I'll be your head nurse here at Camp Here and There. You’ll be able to find me and my…now a-assistant? Elijah Volkov in the nurses' building on the southernmost outskirts of the grounds. 

If you were here last year you’ll probably remember that Elijah’s usually the one who does the announcements but apparently he’s too busy this year to actually, you know, do his job so here we are! 

He says it’ll be good for me anyways, help me break out of my shell, but I’m very happy in my shell! Public speaking was always his thing and I–whatever whatever, sorry.

At Least I got a promotion out of it. 

Well I mean, I say promotion but Lucille’s still paying me the same of course. I’m basically doing the same thing anyway, Elijah…hasn’t been particularly helpful these past couple of years. He’s been distracted? Always locked in his office doing god knows what. He just got here a week ago and he's hardly bothered to speak to me at all.

[CLEARING HIS THROAT]  

Sorry! All that to say, you probably won’t see him around much this year. The titles cool though, I guess; Head Nurse... 

Anywayyy what am I actually supposed to say during these things? 

[trying to get it together] Ok, I’ll just start with the time…

The time is 8:63 AM the sky…well it’s like almost red? There’s definitely brown up there though I really can’t tell. 

Breakfast this morning, brought to you by our chef Matthew is…buttered cockroaches and oatmeal roadkill surprise?! [whispered] Ok is this legal?? 

Mph, never mind. Vegans get dirt cakes, which sounds pleasant but knowing Matthew it’s probably real dirt, so I’d um...I’d steer clear. 

Today of course, as you returning few may remember, is our annual icebreaker day. Get to know each other with your ice picks in hand! Make sure not to waste any of the ice though. Seriously, they use this in our drinks for the rest of the summer. Trust me on this one children when I was a camper here we messed up once and all our ice fell in the lake. Lucille was all stubborn about it and we had to endure hot drinks for the entire summer, it was disgusting. Yep, I did not enjoy that... 

Oh, Luccile’s our camp director by the way!…not sure if you guys knew that. Now you do I guess.

Yeah…um…So…I think that's finally it! Thank god. 

Uh, I mean have a nice day kids!…Goodbye.

[Click]


[Click]

JEDIDIAH:

Hello campers, good afternoon. It is 12:80 pm and well um... yeah I’m not doing a weather report every announcement, you all have been outside today, you tell me how it is! 

So the first day of camp seems to be going pretty well so far, or at least as well as it can go at this “lovely” establishment. I’ve been told that your children did very well with this morning’s activity so good on you. Thanks to you we all get cold drinks this summer. 

For lunch today Matthew has made mahogany soup? I'm not even going to try to figure out what that is, good luck with that. Vegans, you guys get assorted flowers. 

For afternoon activities we have a three-legged race. That actually sounds normal enough…wait yeah, yeah of course.

Apparently, I was wrong because god forbid anything at this camp be normal! 

Before the race your legs will be fused together by our… practicing mage Counselor Soren. I’m honestly not sure why we still let him do these things, I can’t imagine how much he’s paying Lucille for this... That’s not it either, during the race the counselors will release snapping turtles for each team to trip into.

[disbelif ] Oh my god, who plans these?! 

Please be careful children turtles may sound like an easy opponent for a race but trust me snapping turtles do not play around. Ever since that infamous race between the tortoise and the hare, tortoises and turtles alike have risen up, striving to become faster and stronger opponents. They tasted victory once and they’re not prepared to back down again. Try your best not to get hurt but if you do I’m sure I can provide adequate medical care. 

If you’re looking for a more relaxed, or at least less deadly way to spend your afternoon Joshua is hosting, what he calls his, Alpha Gaming Hour.

[HE PAUSES]

Honestly, I think I'd rather risk the race. 

Alright, I believe that's it? 

Wait right, I forgot to mention-I gotta talk about one more thing sorry. We got a report from counselor Marisol Yuchengco about a masked man on the grounds. 

He’s said to have long black hair, adorned with mushrooms, carry a cane covered in vines, and of course, his most notable descriptor, the black cat mask covering his face. He was last seen wearing an Elizabethan nurse's dress, old and dirty. Marisol said it looked like something back from the bubonic plague. 

When she saw him though, she said something weird happened. First of all, he was apparently sitting right outside my office, like directly underneath my window sill, but that's not even the weird part. Well, it-it is a weird part but not the weirdest part. Anyway, as this man sat below my window sill Marisol said she saw vines growing. She said they had sprouted up from the ground seemingly out of nowhere and were climbing up the side of the building. Flowers bloomed from each of them as they continued their climb, it was a bizarre sight. 

Apparently The…um…Cat Man? didn’t seem phased by this at all. In fact, his eyes were closed the whole time. When he finally opened them he reached out next to him, touching one of the flowers and quietly laughing to himself. He spotted Marisol soon after, but upon making eye contact with the man she described a weird feeling coming over her. Almost like this blossoming euphoria, it was not unpleasant but the suddenness of it all scared her, and she ran away. The masked man must have left soon after, but when asked, multiple campers claim to have seen him around, in years past. If any of you kids see him again please inform me or a trusted adult immediately. We don't know who this man is or what he can do, so it's important that we air on the side of caution. 

There are still vines outside my office…Bye.

[Click]


[Click] 

JEDIDIAH:

Good evening campers. It is 19:05 pm and your first day of camp is almost over! Hey, I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of this!

Ahem, sorry I hope you guys had a fun first day at camp. I’ve been told the three-legged race actually went pretty well. I only had to treat 5 campers today, all for minimal things like bites and bruises. Well, except for those two campers who Soren fused together permanently. I'm so so sorry you guys I really am doing my best to try and separate you two safely. Of course, this would all go faster if ELIJAH would actually help me but for now, I’m all you got. 

Anyway um...right, right diner. Dinner tonight buffalo horns stuffed with buffalo meat topped with a side of purple cheese.

Vegans get Green. That’s it, it just says Green, I'm not actually sure what “Green” is. I-Is it the color of the food? Or something to do with the flavor? Is there just a new food called Green?! If anyone wants to tell me please do! The internet here is garbage so I can’t really look anything up. I haven’t gone down a research rabbit hole in years. Man, I miss tho-

 [JEDIDIAH’S DOOR IS OPENED] 

[Flat] Oh hey Elijah. What are you doing here? I’m in the middle of announcements. 

ELIJAH: Oh Jedidiah, don’t use that tone with me! I’m here to help the campers of course. 

JEDIDIAH: Wait, h-how did you even—? You’ve been in your office like all day!

ELIJAH: Hey, Hey calm down, boy. You know I only want what’s best for you, and the camp! I’m doing important work in there, don't you forget. 

JEDIDIAH: Yeah I know, your project?

ELIJAH:  Yes, Jedidiah, my project! It will be wonderful once it sees itself to completion. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about the details. 

JEDIDIAH: I really wasn’t, w-what?!

ELIJAH: Ah and what was it you originally asked? Right, yes the campers! There are loudspeakers all over this camp, of course, I listen to your announcements. Plus I heard the poor children when they came in, all teary-eyed and scared. You know me Jedidiah, I'm a sensitive soul, I just couldn’t bear it; started concocting this solution as soon as I heard them! It may burn a little but we’ll just have to see, won’t we? 

JEDIDIAH: They’re–they're in the nurse's office, second bed on the left. I have to finish doing the announcements but I'll meet you there in a minute, ok? Feel free to get started without me, do whatever you need. Just…help them out?

ELIJAH: Well of course.

JEDIDIAH:

Hello again campers, sorry about that interruption! Now that that’s being taken care of, I'll get back to these announcements. 

Congratulations to campers Runna Tracksta and Harriet Shelton for winning the three-legged race! You guys put some very confident turtles to shame today. Better watch out though, they might come for you while you sleep tonight. [Small laugh] Mhm…was that funny? I don’t know, a-anyway, anyway, for tonight’s activity we have the first seeing ceremony of the summer! I remember those well from when I was a kid. I had this friend who was really into them! Personally, I never really understood appeal but he was always…um…he was…he—? 

[HE PAUSES FOR A LONG TIME, BEFORE CONTINUING.] 

Yes. Umm, I'm sorry, don't know what came over me there. Tonight you all will gather around the bonfire and inhale the fumes from the oracle flame. Fair warning, for all the new campers the inhalation of the flames can be a bit jarring the first time. Your dreams will be…well they’ll be interesting, to say the least. I don’t envy you, the oracle already gives me all the information I need u-

[DISTANT CHILDREN SCREAM FROM THE NURSE'S OFFICE] 

ELIJAH WHAT DID YOU—!? Um, sorry, I gotta run, I hope you enjoy your evening children. Goodnight!

[Click]


July 1st 

Dear Diary, Ew no, I hate that 

Hello journal 

Elijah got this for me for my birthday this year. He said it would help me “express my feelings” or something. It was nice of him, but I haven’t had much of a reason to use it yet. Nothing interesting happens here during the year. The days kind of just blend together you know? There’s nothing to feel on those days anyway; just dull. Today was nice though I guess. The first day of camp usually is. I got to see people, other than Lucille and Elijah so that’s always a plus.

But then there were these two campers that got terribly injured. Elijah made some weird ointment to fix them up, and it did. Of course, it did but it hurt them. Badly. I know Elijah had no ill will, but, it's just, that while the kids were screaming he didn’t even seem to care. When I came in they were convulsing, blinking in and out conscious and he just stood over them! “It’s for the best,” he told me as I walked in but still it was awful to watch. It worked, of course, it worked but it left each kid with raw gaping wounds on their legs. Poor kids. 

Elijah and his so-called “bleeding heart” how could he sit by like that while there were people still hurting? I guess it’s just a trademark of a good scientist, knowing when to step back, to let the experiment take charge; but these are human beings. That’s why I've always preferred machines, they’re predictable, they can’t surprise you. Stepping back is easy with machines, they don't feel they can’t cry out in pain they can’t beg. God “It’s for the best” That’s what he told me after _-_

Okay, the strangest thing just happened. So, this morning Marisol was talking about this masked guy he saw outside my office and I think he was just in here. I was sitting here, you know, writing in you and everything was completely normal but then suddenly I felt my mind go blank and the pencil went limp in my hand. 

I don’t know how he got in, there are at least 3 locked doors in the way, but in he very much got. When he came in though, it wasn’t fear I felt. No, it wasn’t like that at all. I’m terrified right now, of course, but mere minutes ago fear didn’t even cross my mind. If anything I would at least have expected to feel that sense of rising bliss that Marisol described but when I looked at the masked man standing in front of me all I felt was fatigue. It was as if all the energy had been drained from my body. Everything felt vague, I knew I could move if I really tried but I couldn't have been bothered to put in the effort. I couldn’t think straight enough to say anything, or even be scared. It's difficult to describe.

He came closer and stood himself right in front of my desk, but somehow I just couldn’t bring myself to care. He was just standing there staring at me! It was unclear what he was doing for a second, but then I felt a warm sensation on my wrist. It was as if all the energy that had been taken from me was concentrating itself right there. It was strange, a shudder passed through my body as the energy seemed to manifest itself into the mushroom which proceeded to sprout from my wrist. The mushroom was small and brown, one of those common ones that you’d find in the forest. I didn’t even feel it, my brain was so fogged up that I don’t think I could have felt much of anything at that moment. I just stared, completely unphased by the scene playing out in front of me. And then after all that he plucked it out of my wrist and put it in his hair? It was just so bizarre!

After he pulled it out a single drop of blood fell from my wrist to the table. The man wiped it up without a second thought; without even an ounce of regret. When he lifted his mask I think I might have stopped breathing for a second, it wasn’t out of shock or anything, I think my body may have just forgotten how. My vision blurred at the edges and I remained conscious but just barely. He didn’t even remove it fully, just enough to see his smile as he spoke for the first time. All he said was “Thank you” and then he giggled! He giggled like my forced complacency was some kind of sick joke! 

He left after that, taking my only proof of the encounter with him, and I couldn’t even stop him. Once he was out of my sight everything caught up with me, it was like I’d just chugged 6 shots of espresso, the fear and confusion rushing into me all at once. I guess I should probably tell Elijah about this, but I don’t know if he’d believe me. Hell, I wouldn’t even believe me! It was real though, I'm sure of it! Just the randomness of it all, there’s no way I could have imagined that. It came so out of nowhere. 

I can’t be losing it, not to this extent at least, right? I’m a logical person and I know logically that that little encounter with The Cat Man (I guess that’s what we’re calling him) should not have been possible but I also know myself, this is far too out there even for me. He had to be real, and that’s even more terrifying. I’m gonna try and sleep now, I guess. I'll deal with this in the morning.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! I’ll try my best to update this weekly. Which shouldn’t be too hard considering the majority of it has already been written but my time management skills are garbage so we’ll see!

Chapter 2: FILE 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

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SYDNEY:

Hello ghost recorder, he’s just so beautiful, isn’t he? 

[laughing] Sorry I’m getting ahead of myself! This is the summer I'm gonna do it! I just can’t wait any longer; he has to know. 

I started sitting outside Jedidiah’s window every morning; did I tell you? I just like to listen. I close my eyes and let myself get lost in his voice. You know, he talked to himself quite a bit in preparation for today. All that anxious muttering; it was kind of adorable. 

[He giggles

I know, I know! I probably shouldn’t be doing that, it’s kinda creepy and I wouldn't want to scare him away prematurely. Not before we meet in person after all these years! But I just can’t help myself! So I like the sound of his voice, sue me! Gosh, I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it…

Ugh, just the knowledge that I'm in the proximity of this breathtaking creature, this man whose power is truly unmatched. Maybe that’s why I’m so nervous… I mean, I’ve never really been the nervous type but I just haven’t been able to muster up the confidence to speak with him yet. I don’t know what will happen but just the knowledge that I'm so close to him is driving me insane. I’ve been waiting for years! Years, I’ve spent watching, admiring, biding my time but eventually, I’ll have to do something. Right now he’s just wasting away! 

All that potential, all that intoxicating energy wasted! 

That stupid blonde keeps him trapped here. He experimented on him and then just tossed him aside, hardly even bothering to care for him again. Never, once has he stopped to marvel with wonder at his precious “apprentice’s” divinity, not like me. Yet Jedidiah still cares for him, still looks up to him, still seeks his approval. It makes me sick. 

It’s ok though, because I have a plan. I’m gonna show him! I’ll show Jedidiah his full potential, the poor guy has no idea how much power he holds, how much of it is still stored in that body of his. His keeper, that bastard man, hasn't even given him an inking. That’ll all change soon though, I just need to arrange the meeting.  I’m not really sure how to do that yet but I'm sure I’ll figure it out in time. Sometime soon…

[sudden doubt] But it’s just been so long! What if he’s still upset about everything or what if he hates me or what if…what if he’s afraid. What if he sees me how everyone else does now? 

No! No, that's ridiculous; Jeddie’s not like that. He can see past that. I’d be helping him! My effect too; it’ll help…right? 

Maybe I should wait just a few more weeks! Months?? Yeah, months; months can’t hurt. That way, it’ll give me time to plan. I can come up with something! I can keep him waiting just a little longer… Soon my love. 

[Click]


[Click]

SYDNEY: [Rushing]

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT SHIT!

[Click]

 


[Click]

SYDNEY:

Hi, ghost

So, things didn’t really go as planned. This morning I was by Jedidiah’s window, listening as I do, and apparently, I was seen. Some girl, one of the counselors saw me and reported me to Jedidiah. Sooo I kind of panicked. I needed to start my plan fast, and what was that plan?  I didn’t really know yet. 

Look I didn’t expect to be spotted so quickly ok! I hadn’t prepared for this! I kind of just…made it up as I went along but wow it was so worth it! 

Ok, ok, sorry, I’m not making sense am I, I’ll try to slow down. It was just such a rush! 

After spending a bit of time thinking, I came up with an idea. If I know one thing about Jeddie, it’s that he can never resist a mystery. Ever since we were kids he’s always wanted to solve everything! That’s why he wanted to become a scientist, science is the world's greatest mystery. He used to talk about all the puzzles to be solved, one big picture, and what greater mystery was there than life itself! The question had always intrigued me too, and now with how wondrous Jeddie has become, we may be able to find an answer. Just like we always wanted!

Anyway, anyway, the point is that if he sees me as some big mystery, a masked man to figure out the identity of; he won’t be able to resist. So a little less than an hour ago I walked right into his office and simply presented myself to him. I mean, I had to steal some keys first of course but that was barely a problem.

And Ghost, believe me when I say, wow. I’m no stranger to his face, I’ve watched him for years but just seeing him in person, so close, after so long… I was not prepared. Honestly, I may have just stood there for a second in awe. 

I don’t think he noticed, though. He didn’t really seem to notice much of anything, he just looked really um… sedated? It’s probably my effect, must work differently on him. Usually, people just get all giggly. 

It couldn’t have been bad for him though, he always seems so stressed out! Glad I could give him a break, even just for a bit. Anyway, after I’d collected myself I did what I had come for. I had to restrain myself a bit, of course! I didn’t wanna scare him, but I needed to show him just one plant. He had to know. I grew it out of his wrist, seemed like the most convenient place considering it’d kinda…gone limp when I walked in. 

A single mushroom, a Hebeloma aminophilum. See, I’m trying to start with something naturally occurring. There'll be time for other, more interesting things later. It grew beautifully, and he showed no signs of pain, which was a huge plus! Not even when I pulled it out! It didn’t rot in my hands or anything either. Actually, I'm still wearing it right now. It’ll go great with my collection. Before I left I lifted my mask a bit, mostly out of curiosity. He looked even more tired but overall ok, still pretty relaxed, I think. We’ll work on it… 

After that, I simply thanked him and left. Gotta keep up that mysterious image! I can’t reveal anything too early, but after this, he’ll start to wonder, I’m sure of it! 

[HE SQUEALS WITH EXCITEMENT]

Goodnight ghost recorder.

[Click]

Notes:

He's such a freak.
I know this chapter was a bit shorter, but you'll get a longer one next week. The length of all of these is insanely inconsistent and will continue to be. :) If you liked the episode feel free to leave a comment, I eat them for power. (They convince me to edit)
Thanks again for reading!

Edit: If anyone has notifs on, sorry about the three consecutive updates I just did! I didn't add anything new, there was just a problem with the chapter notes.

Chapter 3: FILE 3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

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ELIJAH: Hello, welcome, why don’t you take a seat, get comfortable? Relax! Take a second if you need to; any of these mats will suffice. Now you two have been here before but as you see some things have changed around here recently. Jedidiah used to these but he truly was dreadful at it. I mean “conflict mediation”? The poor man can’t even solve his own conflicts! He’s too afraid of confrontation for that. Isn’t that right?

JOSHUA: Yeah dude totally…but like, shouldn’t we be, ya know, stating our names and perspectives and all that right now? The usual..?

YVONNE: Joshua! Don’t interrupt him.

ELIJAH: That’s alright Yvonne, I don’t blame Mr. Macheath for being confused. Change can be confusing.

JOSHUA: Heh heh

ELIJAH: Ahem, as I was saying. There’s gonna be some change in how we do these now.

[with a flourish] Welcome to your Meditation session!

JOSHUA: Aww that’s boringggg!

YVONNE: [Solely to piss off Joshua] Well, I think that’s a great idea. Thank you, Elijah.

ELIJAH: You're very welcome, Yvonne. I’d like you guys to start by sitting cross-legged on your mats. Can you do that for me?

[THEY COMPLY]

Lovely! Now I’ve got a bell here, we’re going to breathe in with the first ring and breathe out with the next ring, alright?

JOSHUA: Ugh

ELIJAH: You have something to share already Mr Macheath?

JOSHUA:[resigned whine] No.

[BELL RINGS TWICE, THE COUNSELORS BREATH]

ELIJAH: Good!

[BELL RINGS TWICE MORE]

Now that we’re hopefully feeling a little more relaxed, why don’t we start the healing? Yvonne care to start us off?

YVONNE: Um sure? So Joshua hosts this thing he calls his Gamer Hour—

JOSHUA:[interrupting] Ah, my Alpha Gamer Hour.

YVONNE: Dude, I’m not calling it that.

JOSHUA: [whiny] Yvonne!

ELIJAH: Do we need to do another round of breathing?

JOSHUA: Fine, call it what you want.

ELIJAH: Please do continue Yvonne.

YVONNE: Anyway, so during Joshua’s [with emphasis] Gamer Hour, he hooks an old game system up and plays with the kids, it’s fun and the kids love it. But lately… I think he’s been getting out of hand. I’m all for competition; don’t think I’m one of those people who goes easy on kids; but, I mean you made one cry yesterday!

JOSHUA: He was a sensitive kid!

YVONNE: You called him a cunt!

JOSHUA: [stuttering over his words] I-I mean, he was being a cunt…

YVONNE: See what I mean!?

ELIJAH: Watch your language Mr Macheath, do you have anything to add? You’re side of the story?

JOSHUA: Well…um…[spitballing] Yvonne is constantly undermining my authority around the kids!

YVONNE: What does that have to do with anything?!

JOSHUA: See she’s not denying it!

ELIJAH: I urge you to stay on topic, this doesn’t seem very relevant to the conversation.

JOSHUA: But it has everything to do with the conversation!

ELIJAH:[dryly] Really? How so?

JOSHUA: I uh…um, Yvonne’s just jealous!

YVONNE:[scoffing in disbelief] Jealous?!

ELIJAH:[What is he on about?] You think Yvonne…is jealous. Of you?

JOSHUA: Hey! It’s not that unbelievable! I mean this whole week she’s been on my butt about everything I do! Like when I tell the kids to get their cabin cleant up! She always like-

YVONNE: Hold on, cleant up?

JOSHUA: Yeah? What? The cabins like always dirty?! Is it so bad to wanna see it all cleant up one day?

[YVONNE LAUGHS]

JOSHUA:[whiny] Whattttt!?

YVONNE:[laughing] Dude, cleant is not a word! It’s cleaned!

JOSHUA: What yes it is?! Cleant is totally a word!

ELIJAH: Cleant, is not in fact a word Mr Macheath.

YVONNE: Ha Ha! Told you!

JOSHUA: Ok fine whatever! We’ll talk about this later. Actually, this is exactly what I’m talking about! She’s always on me for little things like this, and she points them out in front of the kids! It's undermining my authority!

[YVONNE LAUGHS AGAIN]

JOSHUA: Hey, it's my turnnn!

YVONNE:[Still laughing] Sorry go on.

JOSHUA: The kids like me are so hard to believe! [slowly losing confidence] And you know maybe she doesn’t like it. She can’t handle my work now and play later attitude. She’s always telling me to “chill out”. I’m chill! I’m very chill! I can be just as cool as she is!

YVONNE: Joshua…?

JOSHUA: How come she’s allowed to play around with the kids!? When she curses she’s suddenly so cool and laid back but when I do it, ohh god forbid!

[to Yvonne]

I do it, and I send a kid out crying! Crying to you, because somehow you’re the only one they all look up to. It just doesn’t make sense!

ELIJAH: It’s normal when you feel powerless or inadequate to lash out and blame it on other people. We’re here to work through those feelings and promote-

JOSHUA: [pissed] Can it, super nerd. I don’t need therapy bullshit spewed in my face.

ELIJAH: Language!

YVONNE: Woah Joshua calm down. He’s just trying to do his job.

JOSHUA: You know what, while we’re on that. What is it that you even do here, if you don’t mind me asking? We barely see you, most of the kids don’t know who you are, and it’s not like you actually do anything helpful! You just sit in your office all the time. The only person I’ve ever seen you talk to outside of…well whatever this is, is Jedidiah and you're even weirder around him!

YVONNE: You’re changing the subject again! Can we go back to what you were saying before?

JOSHUA: You're the one who told me he was being weird around him! You were going on and on about how worried you were about Jedidiah and how he’s been pulling away. You literally said you thought it was Elijah's fault!

YVONNE: Hey! I did not give you permission to share that!

JOSHUA: Now I don’t know what's up with your sudden attitude shift but–

[BELL RINGS]

ELIJAH: Counselors, why don’t we pause for a second and breathe? Need I remind you of the reason that you’re here?

JOSHUA: No :(

YVONNE: Now back to me [still trying not to laugh] being jealous?

JOSHUA: Ok FINE, maybe I’m the jealous one! Maybe I know the campers like you better, and maybe I don’t like that. Maybe I was trying to be more like you and it blew up in my face.

YVONNE: Well maybeee you don’t need to try as hard.

JOSHUA:[Warmly] Maybe you're an Asshole.

YVONNE:[matching his energy] Wowww maybe you’re a dickhead.

JOSHUA: Maybe you're a cunt.

YVONNE: Maybe you should just…be you?

JOSHUA: [laughing] Who are you right now?! That sounded like something out of a kid's cartoon.

YVONNE: [cringing] Yup, I hated it as soon as it came out of my mouth.

JOSHUA: Sooo…like are we cool?

YVONNE: Yeah dude of course! Just don’t lose your shit on the kids again.

JOSHUA: I didn’t “lose my shit”! I honestly thought I was being funny. Look, I’m sorry, I went too far and I didn’t realize.

YVONNE: Don’t worry about it. Maybe I’ll teach you my “ cool counselor secrets” sometime.

JOSHUA: Yeah right, fuck face!

YVONNE: Shit lord!

JOSHUA: Damn that was good, you M—

ELIJAH: [purposefully cutting him off] Looks like this session has been A success! I’m glad I could help you two get in touch with your emotions and find a middle ground.

JOSHUA: Um…sure? Can we go now?

ELIJAH: Yes, yes. If the conflict is solved then I have done my job and the session is complete. Stay out of trouble and all that.

YVONNE: Bye!

ELIJAH: Yvonne, do say hello to Jedidiah for me?

YVONNE: [Hesitant] Yeah…sure.

[THEY GET UP AND LEAVE]

ELIJAH: Ugh finally.

[Click]

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed this week's chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!
I know it's not very plot-heavy but you will be very well-fed eventually, I promise! I might start being a little less consistent with these updates because tech week for my musical is rapidly approaching. Apologies for that, I'll do my best to update whenever I can! As always, leave comments!! I love reading them and I will always respond.
Thank you:)