Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Crescendo. Rest. 

“S we e ti e !”

Triplets as you decrescendo. Rest again.

“Sc hro e d er ! D in ner ! ”

Ding. 

Schroeder kept his fingers heavy on the keys, letting the final note of Für Elise ring out. Music critics would say Für Elise was overrated and overplayed, but it was still his favorite. He would go back to it every now and then just to make sure he still knew the piece note-for-note. Even as he ate dinner, the masterpiece still lingered in his mind. He absentmindedly responded to his parents’ usual questions on “How was piano practice?” and “Are you excited for college?”

“Yeah. I’m excited,” he mumbled as he scooped a spoonful of peas.

His face wouldn’t show it, but he was absolutely ecstatic about graduating highschool. 

I mean, it’s fucking Juilliard, baby! He shouted in his head.

Senior year hadn’t even started yet, but Juillard—his dream school—already offered him a full ride. Oh, he couldn’t wait for senior year to be over.

—

“Oh come on, Schroeder! It’s the last night of summer vacation! This’ll be Patty’s biggest party yet!” Charlie yelled over the phone. Schroeder winced as he brought the phone away from his ear. He debated.

Charlie Brown, Schroeder’s best friend, has been begging him to attend Peppermint Patty’s house parties all summer long. To which Schroeder has dutifully rejected each and every single time. He’s hung out with his classmates, approximately, four times this entire summer break. Schroeder didn’t necessarily hate his friends—they were his friends after all—but highschool was pretty much done and over with. The first chapter of their long lives had come to an end. These childhood friends he grew up with would all soon be moving away to attend different colleges and meeting new people outside of this small town. And that’s all they would be in his memory too, childhood friends.

Schroeder chuckled as he brought the phone back to his still ringing ear.

“I’m surprised Patty even invited you, Charlie Brown.” His friend’s laughter echoes on the other side of the phone. There were a few moments of silence as he heard some shuffling and a bit of muffled talking on the other line.

“Sorry, man. I gotta jet. Sally is practically dragging me out the door so I can drive us to the party. You’ll come right?” 

Schroeder bit his lip as he looked at his wall clock. It was 11 p.m. and definitely past his curfew. His parents would never let him out this late. He took a sharp breath and sighed.

“Oh, I don’t know, Charlie. It’s past my curfew so I really shouldn’t be going out-”

“Dude! You’re like 18 and still worry about that curfew stuff? Just stuff some pillows under your blanket and leave your window open a crack. I’ll come pick you up, okay? Bye!”

“Hey, wait!” He starts but the line already goes dead. Schroeder curses to himself but nevertheless gets dressed. He didn’t even want to go, but he’d go for Charlie Brown.

It wouldn’t hurt to add a few more pages to this chapter.

Soon enough, a bright light blinks from his bedroom window. He quietly opens the window, careful to not make too much noise, and peeps his head outside. Charlie Brown’s old beat-up car is parked in the driveway. His friend flashes his blinkers again and Schroeder grimaces as he covers his eyes. He makes a motion as if to say “Wait” and prepares his room for his disappearance.

It was his first time sneaking out, so he was a bit nervous. His parents thought him a good kid—which he was—so they’d never suspect him of sneaking out as long as he came home before they woke. He repeated that to himself as he climbed out of the window and into Charlie Brown’s car. As Charlie mentioned on the phone, his little sister, Sally, was in the back seat. 

“Hey, Schroeder,” she mindlessly greeted as she looked at her reflection in the rear view mirror. She was putting on an excessive amount of makeup, more than what Schroeder had ever seen her have on at school. He eyed his friend questioningly, pointing at Sally with his chin. Charlie waves him off as he backs out of the driveway.

“Sally thinks she’ll get a boyfriend tonight.” Sally huffs as she kicks the back of the driver’s seat.

“I will get a boyfriend tonight, brother. Just you wait.” Charlie chuckles and readjusts the mirror his sister had misused as a vanity.

“Sure, sis. Sure.”

Charlie turns out of Schroeder’s neighborhood and speeds down the empty road. He turns on the radio and a guitar shred fills the car. Sally groans and leans over.

“Your music taste is so lame, brother. Put on some Elvis or Bob Dylan or something.” Her brother clicks his tongue in response and turns the dial up louder.

“No way! I’m the one driving so you gotta deal with it!” Sally is seen retorting from the backseat but the music drowns out her complaints.

Schroeder tunes out the music and opens the window. He watches the houses of his childhood whirl by. Soon, this town would be a fond memory as he lives his dream in the city. His daydreams falter when he sees a moving truck and a couple of cars parked in the driveway of a long deserted home. It had sat empty since its original owners moved 10 years ago. 

But now, the lights were on. Someone new had moved into town.

“Did you see that, Charlie? There’s someone moving into that old house.” Charlie lowered the volume on the stereo.

“Huh?”

Schroeder looked at Charlie and pointed out the window with his thumb. They had sped past the phenomenon so the pointing was essentially just for looks.

“I said, I think there’s someone moving into that old house. Y’know, the one that was empty for a while?” Charlie made an ‘O’ with his mouth.

“Oh you mean the van Pelts old house? I didn’t know someone was moving in. Did you see who it was? What did they look like?”

Schroeder shrugged as he cranked up the window. van Pelt. That last name was one he hadn’t heard in such a long time. The name was practically forgotten by his brain, buried under years of dust and melodies of Beethoven.

“Nope. Just that the lights were on.” Charlie shrugged and gripped the steering wheel.

“Maybe someone at the party will know.”

Right. Because no one moved to this small town without someone noticing and making a big deal out of it. 

Before long, Charlie pulls up on a street lined with cars. He finds a spot to park his hunk of junk and the three walk up the winding path to Peppermint Patty’s house. Schroeder can hear the music playing just from the lawn. He dreaded thinking how much louder it sounded from the inside. 

Charlie Brown notices how sluggish his friend had gotten and puts his hands on Schroeder's shoulders, pushing him closer to the entrance. The door is unlocked and Sally darts inside without offering another glance. Off to find that boyfriend of hers.

“Oh man they’re gonna be so jazzed to see you here!” With that, Schroeder is ushered into his first party of the school year. 

It’s a party like any other. The music is bumping. The smell of booze is strong and probably flowing like no tomorrow in the kitchen. And his classmates are drunk and spread throughout the mess of a house turned into a designated nightclub for underage drinkers. Just an average Patty Party.

Charlie leads Schroeder into the kitchen and he’s met with familiar faces. Franklin has his arm around a younger girl who Schroeder has seen but never talked to. There’s Marcie pouring more alcohol into empty cups. She’s the faithful bartender at these events because she’s smart enough to understand that people don’t bother getting the bartender drunk. The two break into full-blown smiles as they spot Schroeder and Charlie enter the kitchen.

Franklin unwraps himself from the girl and greets Schroeder with a friendly hug. He smells like a mix of booze and cologne. Marcie waves and extends an arm to offer a cup of mystery juice.

“Schroeder! Didn’t think you’d make it!” Schroeder smiles with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Charlie comes over and slaps his back. 

“Practically had to kidnap him to come, Frankie!” Franklin laughs and elbows Charlie.

“Hey, but he’s here now! Cheers!”

“Do I hear alcoholism happenin’?!”

Peppermint Patty comes barging into her kitchen looking disheveled and obviously drunk. Her bangs are sweaty and askew from dancing and running around, probably making sure the party was running smoothly. She sees the two newcomers and grins. Schroeder shivers. When Patty gave that sort of smile, it didn’t mean well. 

“Schroederrrr~,” the girl slurred.

She throws an arm over Marcie and grabs the cup she was currently serving. She hands Schroeder that cup though he hadn’t even taken a sip from the first. Schroeder stood, dumbfounded, as he fisted two full cups of jungle juice. Patty grins again as she climbs on top of the kitchen counter, successfully grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. 

“You missed a lot of parties this summer so tonight is the night you play catch up!” Patty lifts her own drink up and party-goers immediately imitate her. “Cheers!” 

Schroeder takes a small sip from his cup as Charlie and the others down theirs in one gulp. He cringes as the taste of fruit did not cover the taste of the copious amounts of alcohol in the drink. People cheer as Franklin tips the cup in Schroeder’s mouth, causing the liquid to spill down the sides of his open mouth. 

The same is done to the second drink. And the next. Until, the morning of the first day of school comes and Charlie Brown has to drag a drunk Schroeder back home and into bed.

—

“Oh fuckkkk,” Schroeder groans in the backseat of Charlie Brown’s car. In apology for the reason why Schroeder has a mind-breaking headache, his friend offered to drive him to and from school for the first day of school. 

He better, Schroeder thought as he rubbed his temples, It’s his fault I wouldn’t be able to ride my bike to school anyways.

“You okay, man?” Charlie asks from the driver’s seat. He’s staring at Schroeder from the view of the rear view mirror. “You’re not gonna throw up, right? I don’t want to clean this car up twice in one day.” Sally, who’s in the passenger seat, whines and slams her head back into the headrest.

“Ugh. Please don’t even start. I swear the car still stinks from last night. I won’t get a boyfriend if I smell like vomit.”

Schroeder groans in response but sits up. He already took hangover medication so it was only a matter of time until it kicked in.

“I think I puked up all my guts already.” Charlie breathes a sigh of relief and nods, focusing on the road. They drive past the house with the moving truck again and find that the cars in the driveway are gone.

In the midst of the partying and drinking, Schroeder forgot to ask around if anyone knew who had moved into town. Oh well. He’d just ask when they got to school.

Looking outside made his head spin, so he squeezed his eyes shut tight. Don’t throw up.

“Aw man. Someone parked in my spot.” Schroeder opened his eyes to see that someone had indeed taken Charlie Brown’s usual parking space. Matter of fact, it was one of the cars he had seen parked in the van Pelt’s driveway. Charlie mutters a few curses under his breath as he finds a space closer to the back of the lot. Unfortunately for hungover Schroeder, this meant he was in for a much longer walk to class.

Everyone was already in attendance by the time Charlie Brown dragged Schroeder to homeroom. He plonks down somewhere in the back and immediately lays his head down on the desk. He’s gotten multiple slaps on the back from various classmates but he ignores all of them.

“Crazy party last night, huh, Schroeder?”

“I didn’t know you had it in you, bud.”

“You’re a ffffuckin’ party animal! You need to come to more parties, man!”

What a great way to start the new year, complained Schroeder. He really couldn’t wait for graduation. 

The bell rings and the teacher walks in. She introduces herself as a Mrs. Smith and clears her throat dramatically. His classmates start murmuring after the teacher says something. Whatever the teacher said that’s so important goes over Schroeder’s clogged head. That is, until his best friend poked him from the seat behind.

”Did’ya hear that, Schroeder? We’re getting a new student!”

This intrigues Schroeder enough for him to blearily lift his head. A head of midnight black walks through the door and all stray drops of liquor in his system are immediately drained. 

She was the most beautiful girl Schroeder had ever laid his eyes on.

Her porcelain skin makes her raven hair stick out like the black keys on a white keyboard. Her glossy hair stops midway down her back and is styled in voluminous curls. She’s dressed in a royal blue ensemble with a matching headband that pushes her curls away from her face. Her brown eyes are warm like melted dark chocolate. She steps to the front of the class. She nervously clasps her hands in front of her and it makes Schroeder’s head spin with deja vu. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but this new girl was oddly familiar. Finally, she spoke.

“My name is Lucy. Lucy van Pelt. It’s good to be back.”

“I never even said goodbye.”

Clarity strikes Schroeder. Lucy.

Lucy, the girl laying next to his piano afterschool. Lucy, the girl who always asked him to be her Valentine. Lucy, the girl next door. Lucy, the girl he had treated no better than gum under his shoe.

This new Lucy had grown up, just as he did. 

The class erupts in a chorus of laughter and cheers as they surround the new girl. Schroeder stays in his seat and watches on with parted lips. Schroeder picks out Lucy’s giggles among the chaos and realizes with horror, that the sound was sweeter than any song of Beethoven’s.

—

Schroeder sat in his usual spot during lunch. It was under an oak tree the school had planted many years before he was even born. Its branches cast a large shadow on the soft grass, protecting anyone sitting under it from the sun’s harsh summer rays. The warm wind rustled the leaves above him. After a very loud morning, the peace and quiet that this spot gave was truly needed.

He bit into his sandwich as he stared at the looming school building. He had a perfect view of the cafeteria from where he sat. He loved people-watching. 

So he watched in curiosity as the not-so-new girl, Lucy, waltzed into the bustling room. She carried herself with confidence but Schroeder could tell she was having trouble finding where to sit. 

It was senior year. All cliques and factions had been formed in cement a whopping three years ago. It didn’t stop Lucy from making an effort, though. And Schroeder could appreciate her tenacity.

He wondered briefly if he should go in there and offer to share this spot with her. Would she even accept?

Eventually, the new girl is snagged by Patty, Violet, and their ring of popular kids. Lucy sits down among them and blends in perfectly with her posh hair and clothes. She’s all smiles and giggles even as Franklin and several of his jock friends arrive.

Schroeder smiles and takes another bite. She would be just fine.

—

And as the first week of school went on, Schroeder kept his distance from the new girl, Lucy. He brainstormed ways to reintroduce himself to her but none of the greetings ever felt right.

“Hello, Lucy! Remember me?”

“Hi, Lucy. Do you remember how we hung out all the time as kids?”

“What’s hanging, Luce? Remember all the times I pushed you away and called you an annoying little girl?”

Yeah, no. Schroeder was not talking to Lucy van Pelt anytime soon. Or ever.

And it didn’t seem like he would need to. Lucy had easily found her people in the short span of her return. She never once glanced Schroeder’s way. Maybe she didn’t even remember who Schroeder was.

Schroeder sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe that was for the best. He treated her so terribly when they were younger.

“Schroeder!” Schroeder opened his eyes to see Charlie Brown standing over him with the goofiest of smiles. He sat down beside Schroeder underneath the big oak tree. 

“Peppermint Patty is hosting another party this weekend. You coming?” Schroeder chuckled dryly and sat up. 

“Another one? Didn’t she just have one?” Charlie shrugged and stole a chip from Schroeder’s lunchbox.

“Yeah, but this one is different.” 

“How so?” Schroeder wasn’t planning on going but he might as well entertain the idea. Charlie grabbed another chip and tossed it in his mouth.

“It’s a welcome back party for Linus and Lucy. It’s gonna be the biggest party of the year! Everyone’s going!” 

The mention of Lucy made his heart skip a beat. In a good way or bad way,  Schroeder wasn’t sure. But a welcome back party? Now Schroeder was intrigued. 

“I’ll think about it,” Schroeder did his best to respond in a nonchalant manner. Charlie is none the wiser as he stands up with a satisfied grin.

“I’ll take that as a yes then! See ya in homeroom, bud.”

—

With Lucy—and Linus’—welcoming party only being a day away, Schroeder didn’t know how to feel. He was excited. He was nervous. He began doubting if he should even go.

She would definitely be there. No doubt about it.

To go or not to go. Schroeder pondered over his dilemma by drilling into the keys of his piano. 

Tink.

Tink.

Tink.

Ding.

Ding.

Ring.

RING.

Schroeder stops playing when the doorbell suddenly rings. He looked at the clock. His parents shouldn’t be home yet. He stood from the piano bench, the screech of the chair scratching wood echoes in the music room. 

Charlie Brown would be off with Pigpen and the band at this time. He wondered who could be at the front door if not his best friend.

Schroeder opens the front door to find a Lucy van Pelt. He can’t find the words to greet her as she flashes him a bright smile.

“Hi. Schroeder, right?”

Oh, so you do remember me, Schroeder thought to himself. He blinks at her without actually saying anything. Lucy shuffles and her smile falters a little. Schroeder mentally slaps himself and awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

Good going, man.

Despite the awful response, Lucy brightens up again. She hands Schroeder a glass tupperware covered in tinfoil. The container is warm in his hands.

“I just moved in next door so I wanted to give you a home cooked meal! Made it myself- I’m Lucy by the way. I’m in your homeroom I believe.” Schroeder eyes the container before returning to Lucy.

“Yeah, I know who you are. Thanks.” 

Lucy chipperly nods before stepping back and turning 180. Schroeder watches as she leaves his driveway and walks back in the direction of her house.

Guilt laid heavy in Schroeder’s stomach as soon as he closed the door. Regret replayed how he just treated Lucy. “Yeah, I know who you are,” he repeated to himself in irritation. Stupid. Just plain stupid.

He set Lucy’s dish on the dining table and removed the foil out of curiosity. Steam billowed into his face. The smell alone was enough for Schroeder to know the dish. It was mac and cheese, to his delight. His favorite food. Did Lucy know that that was his favorite dish or was it just a mere coincidence? 

He grabbed a fork from the drawer and snuck a bite despite not being hungry. He shut his eyes, chewed, and forced himself to swallow. 

He hated how good it tasted. Maybe then Schroeder wouldn’t feel so bad. But no, Lucy van Pelt had to be an excellent cook.

—

It’s Friday night, which meant it was time for Patty’s party. Or also known as “The van Pelts are back” party. Charlie Brown did the same as he did last weekend and quietly flashed his high beams into Schroeder’s unsuspecting window. Schroeder gets in the car with a slight pep in his step. He put effort in his clothes tonight and his best friend is quick to notice.

He whistles, eyeing his passenger, as he peels out of the driveway. “Looking good, bud.” Schroeder nods and secretly smiles to himself in the dark car. After his debaucherous behavior towards Lucy’s kindness yesterday, he made it his sworn mission to apologize to her. And for that, he’d need confidence which meant he needed to look good.

Charlie Brown pulls up at Patty’s the same time the mystery car does. Schroeder isn’t surprised when he sees Linus van Pelt get out of the car. After all, it had to belong to one of the siblings if he found it parked at school. He waits to see if Lucy gets out of the car. She doesn’t and Schroeder releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Maybe she was already inside.

Who does gets out of the car was the biggest surprise. Linus jogs to the passenger side and opens the door for Sally Brown. Schroeder didn’t even realize his friend’s sister wasn’t in the car in the midst of his scheming. 

Sally immediately clings onto Linus like a magnet as the two walk towards Schroeder and Charlie. 

Schroeder eyed Linus up and down. The younger boy had surely changed during the time he was away. He dressed like a greaser and acted like one. Sally seemed to be enthralled by his whole bad boy persona as she sported a similar look. She wanted to make sure everyone knew who she came with tonight.

Charlie didn’t seem all too pleased with Linus being his little sister’s date. Or that he even knew of that fact in the first place.

“Oh. So Linus was the boy you mentioned, huh?” Charlie placed a hand on his hip as he scolded his sister. Sally huffed and only clung closer to Linus. Her date chuckled and gently pried off his date. Linus extended his arm for a handshake.

“Aw. Don’t be like that, Charlie Brown. I’ll treat our Sally girl real good. Won’t I, doll?” Sally giggles. Charlie scoffs and crosses his arms. Linus raises a brow, “Gimmie some skin will ya, Charlie Brown? For old times sake.” When Linus doesn’t back down, Charlie takes his hand and firmly shakes it. 

“Whatever, man. Just remember I know where you live.” Linus waves him off and moves past them. Linus offers a small wave to Schroeder before opening the front door.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just get inside and have fun.”

Fun wouldn’t be the word Schroeder would use in this situation. He was only here for one girl and one girl only. And boy was he nervous.

Peppermint Patty’s house is more crowded than the last just as Charlie Brown promised. Just about the whole school was here. Schroeder began to worry if he’d even be able to find Lucy in the crowd. But as he steps further into the space of drunken bodies, his search ends.

Lucy van Pelt seemed to attract everyone’s attention. She was in the center of the room, a cup in her right hand. Dancing by her side are her newfound friends, Violet and the party host herself. 

 The first thing Schroeder notices is her change of clothes. At school she normally sported soft colored dresses and skirts. Tonight she still wore a dress but it was most eccentric in its color and design. The length of her dress enticed Schroeder to shortly glance down to where it dangerously ended mid thigh. He blushed and forced himself to look away. 

The four of them somehow managed to tunnel their way to the kitchen. Schroeder sighs in relief when there’s significantly less people in there. Marcie, the permanent fixture of the kitchen, smiles when she sees them and immediately passes them drinks. Linus lifts his cup and shouts a toast.

“To my fabulous return!” The residents of the kitchen raise their glasses and cheer. Charlie drinks, somewhat unenthusiastic. Schroeder raises his own drink and takes a generous swig. The juice, as per usual, tastes like skuzz.  Schroeder gags but forces himself to down the rest. Confidence. He needed confidence.

Shermy comes up behind him and slaps his back.

“Get this man another drink! Schroeder is getting blitzed again tonight!” 

Schroeder, against his best interests, accepts every drink handed to him and downs it. Before long, he’s in a state brave enough to talk to the beautiful girl on the dance floor. Except, she’s no longer there.

Schroeder staggers around Patty’s extraneous house looking for a Lucy van Pelt. He spots Violet in the crowd and stops her. The cheerleader is surprised to find a drunk Schroeder tapping her shoulder.

“Schroeder? What’s up?” 

“HaveyouseenLucy?” Schroeder slurred. Violet blinks in shock before giggling and pointing towards the back door.

“Yeah, she should be out back. Said she needed air.” Schroeder nods and mumbles out an unheard thanks as he pushes his way towards the end of Violet’s finger. The back door is almost in reach when a certain redhead blocks his way.

“Schroeder!” Frieda shouts in greeting. Schroeder inwardly groans but tries his best to smile. Frieda had been shamelessly courting him the entirety of high school. Kissy marks in lipstick on his locker in the shade of pink only Frieda ever wore. Love letters finding themselves in his desk when he wasn’t there. Her bike being parked next to his when there were a million other spots. 

Schroeder rejected Frieda more times than he could count. She was a sweet girl, pretty and a decently talented actress in the GLEE club. But a relationship wasn’t something Schroeder was searching for before and it definitely wasn’t something he was searching for now.

“Hi, Frieda.” The girl giggles and offers Schroeder a new drink.

“I don’t see a drink in your hand. Here.” She tries to push the cup into his hands but he firmly pushes it away with a shake of his head.

“No… thanks, Frieda. I think I’ve had my share of booze tonight.” With his quick rejection, Schroeder maneuvers around the now disappointed girl. He opens the door to the back yard and a fresh summer breeze cools his face.

“Schroeder? Is that you?”

Schroeder turns in the direction of that soft voice. Lucy van Pelt is leaning against the house, her hands tucked behind her. The porch light might as well be a spotlight as it shined down on her. She was even more beautiful when he was silly drunk.

Schroeder couldn’t fight the smile that crawled onto his face. 

“There you are.”

Lucy raised a brow and crossed her arms. “You were looking for me?” She stared at him with utmost ferocity. Her face was screaming for him to “leave me alone.” The kind girl persona melts away with fire and brimstone, leaving nothing but ashes of a girl who wanted nothing to do with Schroeder and his apology. This girl looked a whole lot like the old Lucy. The one that enjoyed bullying Charlie Brown and her own little brothers. The same little girl who you’d pay a nickel only for her to give you her cold, unsolicited advice.

Despite all the alcohol raging in his system, he became nervous. Schroeder gulped. He braced himself.

“Iwantedtoapologizeformybehavioryesterday.”

Lucy’s brows furrowed in confusion as she regained her posture. “What?”

Schroeder sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for the way I acted towards you yesterday.”

Lucy chuckled, a small grin curling on her lips. 

“Sorry for what exactly?”

God, she’s really gonna make me say it . Schroeder inhaled sharply.

“I was rude to you yesterday. When you dropped off your mac and cheese. The whole reason why I’m even here tonight is because I wanted to apologize. So… I’m sorry, Lucy.”

An invisible weight lifts off Schroeder. There, he said it. Lucy visibly looks taken aback from his apology. She looked down at the ground and fiddled with the hem of her dress. It’s silent for about 3 seconds before she starts to slowly walk towards him, the wood creaking under her light footsteps. The porch light is unable to reach her as she steps into the night where Schroeder stood. The spotlight melds into a simple backlight against her—to Schroeder’s dismay—painstakingly good looking form. 

Schroeder is much too drunk to think about creating space when she’s less than an arm’s length away. She gazes up at him through her long lashes and bats them. 

“Did you like it?”

Schroeder’s mind was absolutely melted. “What?”

Lucy giggled and covered her mouth. When she opened her eyes again, Schroeder swore they were twinkling.

“My cooking. I’m asking if you liked it, Schroeder.” 

Oh, yes. The mac and cheese was divine, Lucy van Pelt.

His mouth was dry so he nodded, vigorously and wholeheartedly. He’s able to squeak out a small, “Very.” His answer, and apology it seemed, was more than just accepted by Lucy as she smiles a wicked smile. She finally backs away and inches for the back door.

“Good. I’ll see you around, Schroeder.”

Chapter Text

Schroeder upgraded from doubting his existence in Lucy’s world to exchanging frequent glances at each other. He would always be staring first whether it be in the classroom or out in the hallway. He found it difficult to not look at her. 

Maybe it became a habit because of the excitement he’d feel when their gazes finally met. It was electric. It was thrilling. The moment her warm eyes met his cold ones, it was like the sun melting ice. Schroeder’s heart would race and his face would flush from getting caught. And Lucy would just smile and mouth a silent “Hello.”

It was an addiction to the exhilaration. Was this what having a “crush” felt like, Schroeder thought whimsically. And when her eyes and quirky smile appeared in his mind, he thought, Yes, I most ardently have a crush on Lucy van Pelt.

He found himself playing more romantical sonatas recently, as he typically played pieces that matched his mood. The swell of crescendos was his racing heart and the gentle trill of notes was the beats that that swollen heart would often skip when thinking of her. It was a beautiful symphony of passion and emotion.

When his mother tapped him on the shoulder while playing one of these sonatas, he stopped and smiled at her, big and loud. His mother found her son’s gleeful expression to be quite contagious as she returned it.

Schroeder’s brow furrowed and his smile disappeared at his mother’s words.

“The van Pelts are coming over? Why?”

Schroeder’s mom bumped into Lucy’s mom at the store today and in turn invited the family over for dinner. Why? Oh my god, why? 

Having a crush on someone while looking from afar was one thing. But having them come over for a family dinner? That was an absolute nightmare. 

A flurry of thoughts swirled in his mind. Would Lucy be there? Of course she would be, it’s a family dinner. What would Schroeder wear? Would his parents begin to suspect something if he dressed nicely? Would Lucy even care if he dressed up?

“Can I invite Charlie Brown and his sister then?” Schroeder blurted. His mother looked at him curiously. Why would he want to invite the Brown siblings? Schroeder flushed and looked down at his piano, pressing a random key.

“Well- Sally is dating Linus van Pelt and Charlie is my friend- and um Lucy’s. I just think it’ll be nice since we get along so swimmingly…” he trailed off. It was all a big extravagant lie. Besides the fact Sally and Linus are a couple. He just needed mental support—support that Charlie had no idea he was going to be providing—as Lucy’s presence would surely wreck him. His mother hummed in thought before agreeing. Schroeder smiled awkwardly before excusing himself to go phone Charlie. He practically ran to his room and dialed the Brown’s residence.

Schroeder tapped his foot impatiently as the line rang a couple times before Charlie finally answered. 

“Yellow-” 

“Charlie Brown! I need you and Sally over at dinner tonight.”

“Huh? Why?” Schroeder pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed out slowly. Calm down.

“My mom invited the van Pelts over and I can’t bear to be alone with Lucy.” Charlie is silent for a second before bursting out in laughter. Schroeder’s face grows hot.

“Even after all these years, you still hate her huh? Aw man, that’s just plain hilarious!” Schroeder forced out a chuckle and rubbed his neck.

“Haha. Yeah- I mean, you know how it is.” 

Charlie Brown had no idea how “it is.” Schroeder wanted Lucy to come over. He just couldn’t do it without a distraction ‘less he wanted to combust right there in the dining room chair just from looking at her. He imagined those stolen glances in the classroom happening across the dining room table and a different sort of heat rushed through him.

Oh, Jesus. This can’t be happening.

Charlie sighed, the sound like reminiscing. “Sure, bud. Me and Sally will come over in, say, 30?” Schroeder let out a sigh of relief and nodded to himself.

“Yes. Perfect. Thanks.”

Perfect. Lucy van Pelt was perfect. Black, glossy hair in all its glory.

Like in his imagination, she sat across from Schroeder. She changed from her school attire and wore her Sunday’s best, just like Schroeder did. At her side sat Linus and Rerun and across from them, and next to Schroeder, was Charlie Brown and Sally.

Lucy brought another one of her homemade dishes again, this time pot pie. It was deliciously creamy and flakey and Schroeder happily stuffed his face with her cooking. He could have sworn he seen her smile when he asked for seconds.

Schroeder’s parents engaged in polite conversation such as expressing their joy that the van Pelts decided to move back in town. The conversation soon turned to reminiscing and Schroeder was suddenly thrown into the mix.

“Lucy has grown into quite the lady. I remember when she would visit my Schroeder everyday after school.” 

“Oh yes! If I remember correctly, Lucy was quite enamored by your boy.”

Schroeder paled. The pot pie turned into a brick mid swallow. Lucy seemed equally as horrified, her porcelain face turning bright red.

“Mom!”

Charlie Brown seemed to enjoy the change of topic as he burst into laughter along with the adults. He elbowed Schroeder and spoke with a mouthful of chewed food.

“Do you remember when you were so confident she couldn’t hit a homerun that you made a bet to kiss her at home plate? Gosh! The look on your face when she actually did was priceless!” Schroeder’s face grew hot and he knew he probably looked like a bright red tomato right now. He snuck a glance at the girl in front of him and found a small smile on her face. Lucy, refinding her confidence, chuckled lightly at the memory. Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

“I do remember that! But then I decided not to take it because Schroeder refused to open his eyes.” Schroeder groaned and covered his burning face. Charlie broke out in a ruckus. God, inviting Charlie Brown was a horrid idea.

Someone then gently kicked Schroeder’s shin, causing him to briefly put a pause on his embarrassment. He knew it was Lucy that did it by the mischievous, cat-like grin on her face. 

“You never really liked me when we were kids. Did you, Schroeder?” She spoke like there was honeyed venom on her tongue. A double edged sword, her words were. If he said that he hated her, she would be upset. Say that he did like her and he’d never hear the end of it. Schroeder blanked, unable to find anything suitable for a response.

“I- Um. Well-”

“That’s okay though,” Lucy cuts off. She smiled warmly over at Schroeder which caused his heart to skip a beat. “Because we’re friends now. Right, Schroeder?”

He wanted to look away, his body practically begged him to. The adults returned to whatever adult talk they were previously doing and Charlie was rapping with Linus about Sally. Schroeder kept Lucy’s eye contact long enough for her to discreetly wink at him. Every blood vessel in his brain exploded at that very moment. 

“Yes. Friends. We’re friends now.”

Oh, but he wanted to be so much more.

—

Lucy van Pelt meant it when she said her and Schroeder were “friends” now. They went from staring to talking. It was only small talk, conversations that didn’t really have much essence on the surface. But to Schroeder, he treasured every word that spilled from her mouth.

Today before class, she asked him what his favorite color was. She claimed she kept everyone’s favorite “things” in her journal. Honestly, Schroeder didn’t have a favorite color but he told her purple. Her face brightened as she eagerly scribbled the letters P-U-R-P-L-E in a sparkly purple pen. He smiled as he admired her penmanship. She wrote pretty too.

And then when Lucy shouted, “I knew it! You always wear that same purple sweater vest,” Schroeder knew he had chosen the right one.

Now, purple really was his favorite color.

—

“Now tell me why you asked me to go shopping with you? Why not Charlie Brown?”

Schroeder and Peppermint Patty were eating cheeseburgers in the mall food court. Schroeder didn’t particularly like burgers but it was his bribe to Patty that brought her here in the first place. She seemed to enjoy the greasy goodness, offering to eat Schroeder’s half eaten sandwich.

Schroeder sighed as he watched Patty down half of another burger while he leisurely sipped on his milkshake. Vanilla.

“Because you’re a girl and Charlie Brown is not. He’d get bored in the first 5 minutes of being here. Unless the store clerk would let him try out the new guitars.” Patty raised a brow as she chewed.

“And why do you need a girl specifically? You’re not into me, are you?” Schroeder jumped and looked over at her in horror. Did she think this was a date?

“No! Of course not! No offense, Patty, but it’s not that. I assure you.” Patty held her hand up and spoke.

“None taken.” She waved her hand as she looked at her burger with more fascination than she did at the boy in front of her, “Continue.”

Schroeder leaned forward and whispered as if the conversation they were having was taboo.

“I need your help updating my threads. I didn’t know any other girl that I was comfortable enough with to-” 

Patty slammed her food down and gripped Schroeder’s hands with excitement and squeezed. He felt ketchup be squished into his palm but he didn’t pull away.

“You’re trying to impress a girl! Oh my god! Schroeder-” Schroeder slapped his hand across her mouth to stop the girl from shouting his secrets to the world. He blushed and hurriedly looked around. Thankfully, no one from school was nearby that could hear her. He pulled away his hand and judgedly stared at Patty.

 “Yes! You caught me red-handed. Now will you help me? But please, don’t tell anyone.”

Patty nodded furiously and wiped her mouth, making a zipping motion afterwards. Determination flared in her eyes. “Of course I’ll help you, Schroeder ole pal. Say, who’s this girl anyways?”

Schroeder waved her off. “I’m not saying. I’ve already told you enough.” Patty pouted, clearly disappointed. He sighed, “I probably don’t stand a chance with her anyways.” He felt a little bummed saying it out loud but that was the honest truth. Lucy was just so… beautiful. And he was- well, he never cared for his appearance until now. 

Patty’s nose scrunched as she punched Schroeder’s shoulder. 

“Hey. You really have no clue, huh? For your information, plenty of girls have called you a hunk. You’re a good looking guy, Schroeder. In a dorky sort of way, I guess. But hey, you got your foot in the door already.”

Patty smiled and patted Schroeder’s shoulder as a form of encouragement. He gave her a shy grin as she yanked him off his seat, dragging him to the depths of the mall.

—

Schroeder sat under the oak tree. It was a nice day out; it wasn’t too hot and there was a cool wind, a clear sign that the seasons were changing. He ate his usual sandwich with a side of chips. He watched Lucy enter the cafeteria and sit down next to Violet. She must have felt his staring because her eyes quickly found his. She smiled at him and waved. Schroeder blushed and waved back, a more stupid looking grin found him.

“Hey, bud!” 

“AH!” Schroeder yelped and looked to his left. Charlie Brown had seemingly snuck onto him while he was staring at Lucy. Schroeder peeped at Lucy one more time and found that she already started eating, talking to her tablemates. Charlie smiled and glanced behind him.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”

“Nothing,” Schroeder replied with quickly. Charlie shrugged, already uninterested, and plopped down next to his friend. He stole a chip.

“You going to Homecoming this year?” He asked with a crunch in his mouth. Was it really that time already? It felt like the first day of school was just yesterday. Schroeder took the chip that his friend was about to eat from his hand and ate it himself.

“Why should I? It’s just a dance.” Charlie groaned and roughly slapped his back. 

“Come on, man. You haven’t attended since our freshman year! I may have let you off the hook sophomore and junior year, but not this time. Not in our last year of highschool!”

Schroeder sighed and looked up at the sky through the parting leaves. Going to a school dance really didn’t make sense for Schroeder. It was like one of Peppermint Patty’s parties, hot and crowded, but without the booze.

“I don’t know, man. It just doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.”

Charlie Brown sighed heavily and laid down on the grass, hands behind his head. Schroeder tilted his head to get a good look at him and found a sad smile on his friend’s face.

“Will you miss me when you go to Juilliard, Schroeder?”

Schroeder’s brows furrowed. “Of course I will. I’ll miss everybody.”

“Then stop wasting your last year with us. Go to Homecoming. Go to all the parties you can.” Schroeder’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to find the words to say. To find some sort of retaliation. He couldn’t. Charlie looked over at Schroeder and grinned. “Make the most of your time left here in this small town. Your piano can wait.”

Schroeder’s eyes watered. Charlie Brown was right. Beethoven and Juilliard could wait.

—

Schroeder looked himself over in the mirror and decided he was satisfied with how he looked. He rented out a nice looking suit, plaid and a dark purple. He grew out his hair a little longer like Patty recommended so that he could style it in the way that was in these days. So, his blonde hair was swept to-and-fro in waves. It was all done possible via his mother’s curlers who was more than delighted to help her son with the endeavor.

The phone suddenly rang, breaking his immersion with the mirror. Schroeder ran to pick it up and was met with an apologetic Charlie Brown.

“Hey, man. I’m real sorry but I can’t drive you to Homecoming anymore.” 

Schroeder’s heart sank. “Oh, ok. Is everything alright?” Charlie laughed at the other end and whistled.

“More than alright. You know Heather? The red-haired girl in Debate?” 

“Uh, yeah. I know of Heather. That’s the girl you’ve always had a crush on, right?” Charlie chuckled.

“The same exact one. Well, you see. That little pep talk I gave you the other day really opened my eyes. Ironic, I know. But I said, ‘Screw it,' and decided to ask Heather to be my Homecoming date last minute. Right afterschool today actually. Aaaand, she said yes.”

Schroeder smiled. “Wow. That’s really great, Charlie! I’m so happy for you.” Charlie Brown had a secret crush on Heather for eons now. Except, the whole school knew about it besides Heather. Schroeder was genuinely happy that his friend finally decided to make a move.

There was some movement on the other line. “Hold on, Schroeder. What, Sally? Yeah, I’m telling him right now. Yeah- I know. Just go wait in the car. Okay. Sorry, Schroeder. As I was saying, because I need to drive Heather to the dance, I don’t have room for you in the car.”

“But your car can fit four?”

“Yeah, it can. But I don’t trust Sally going to the dance with Linus by herself so I’ll be driving him too. She’s so head-over-heels for the guy and I’m scared she might do something she’ll regret. If you catch my drift.”

Schroeder nodded in understanding. “Yeah. I get it, dude. It’s good you’re watching out for her. I’ll just ride my bike over.” He bid his farewell to Charlie and promised to meet him at the dance. 

Schroeder sighed as he flung his leg over his bike. His hair would definitely be in shambles by the time he got to school. And that really sucked given how much time his head had to be stuck in rollers. His mother did offer to drive him but it would be more embarrassing to show up to Homecoming as a senior with his mom than with messed up hair. 

He rode at a speed that was considerate for his hair but not too slow that would make it so he’d arrive late to the party. 

Barely out of his neighborhood, a car pulled up next to him. Linus’. Schroeder slowed to a stop and stared at the tinted windows. His confused reflection stared back at him. He thought Linus was hitching a ride with Charlie Brown?

When the passenger window is rolled down, he’s met face-to-face with none other than Lucy van Pelt. Schroeder knew she was the type to go to Homecoming, but he hadn’t expected to see her before the venue.

She’s leaning over the middle console, looking up at Schroeder from the driver’s seat. Just from a glance, he could make out that she was wearing a baby blue dress with puffy chiffon sleeves. No headband held her hair back tonight as the black waves flowed gently down her frontside. White gloves that stop at the wrist covers the hand she kept on the steering wheel. 

Lucy was just as beautiful as ever with a splash of elegance. Schroeder suddenly felt out of place on his bike. She smiled and patted the empty passenger seat. 

“Need a ride?”

“Oh. Um. No. I’m-” Schroeder’s stuttering stops when Lucy raises a brow. Her expression read as “Get in while I’m being nice.” Schroeder purses his lips and nods. He drops his bike in the grass and hops into the passenger seat with a small thanks.

“No problem. It’s good I was running late then, huh. If I didn’t forget my purse, I would have totally missed you.” 

“Yeah… You’re my lifesaver. Or at least my hair’s,” Schroeder attempted a joke and immediately wanted to slap himself. To his pleasant surprise, Lucy giggles and the sound makes him smile astronomically wide. She put the car into gear and started driving. 

Schroeder then realized the situation he was in. He was alone. In the car. With Lucy van Pelt. Alone. Did he mention that they were alone?

This was enough to make any man sweat. Experience or no experience. In Schroeder’s case, he had zero experience with women so he was sweating more than the average.
Small talk. He just needed to make some small talk. Yeah. He and Lucy were good at that.

“I didn’t know you could drive,” Schroeder started out dumbly. He could have talked about anything else. School. Homecoming. But no, his mind immediately went to questioning skills she had acquired while being gone. Lucy shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal. She kept her eyes on the road.

“I mean, yeah. I can drive. I had to learn while living out in the city. It was either this or ride the bus. And you’ll never catch me on the bus. Those seats are filthy and- Wait a second.” She glanced at Schroeder from the corner of her eye. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys that think a woman shouldn’t drive.” She squinted and pursed her lips in distaste.

That definitely wasn’t what Schroeder was intending to imply when starting the conversation. Schroeder’s eyes widened and he practically leapt back until his head hit the passenger door. He winced and clutched his head.

“What! No! No, no, no. I mean, my own mother can drive. Are there really guys who think-” Lucy cuts Schroeder off by bursting into laughter. Any tension that grew between them immediately dissipates with her melodious laughs. Schroeder sighs in relief, readjusting himself, as Lucy calms down.

“Sorry! Oh, I’m sorry. Your reaction was too funny. Whew! You scared me for a second there, Schroeder. But you know, deep down, I knew you weren’t like that.” She said the last bit with so much sincerity that it caused a stir in Schroeder’s mind. She knew I wasn’t “like that,” Schroeder echoed dreamily. That was a good thing. A very good thing if her laugh indicated that much.

“You’re pretty good at it. Driving, I mean. No bumps.” Schroeder forced out a chuckle. God, what was he saying? Lucy hummed in agreement and drummed a gloved finger on the wheel.

“Do you not know how to drive, Schroeder?” He shook his head and thanked the skies that it was too dark to see the blushing of his cheeks. Lucy hummed again, this time in thought.

“You know, I could teach you. If you want me to, that is.” Schroeder perked up. Did he hear that correctly? Was Lucy offering to teach him how to drive a car? He tried to mask his obvious excitement as he responded.

“Oh! I mean- Sure! Ahem. Yes. I think I’d like that, Lucy. Thank you.” Lucy bit her lip with a smile, nodding her head. It was silent in the car once again.

Quick, Schroeder! Think of something to say.

“So, uuuuh. Homecoming, huh?” 

He wanted to slap himself in the face.

“Yeahhhhh,” Lucy copied him jokingly then added, “What about it?” Schroeder’s leg jumped from the nerves. 

“Did you always drive to Homecoming alone in the city?” In other words, do you have a date? 

Lucy shook her head softly. “No. My date—whoever he may be—would normally take me and I’d be sitting where you are right now.” 

Schroeder’s heart swarmed with unsolicited hope. 

“So… You don’t have a date tonight?” Schroeder began wishing on all the stars. Lucy giggled and shook her head.

“No, Schroeder. I don’t have a date for Homecoming.” 

“Oh.”

He looked out the window with the biggest smile on his face. The stars were shining down on Schroeder tonight. Maybe if they kept granting his wishes, then he’d have a chance to dance with the dateless Lucy van Pelt before night’s end.

“Here we are.” The announcement drags Schroeder out from his princess daydreams. Lucy is parking in a surprisingly busy parking lot. People still go to Homecoming? He was truly surprised at the turnout.

As soon as the car engine turned off, Schroeder bolted out the car door and ran to Lucy’s side. She may have driven here, but Schroeder be damned if she got a hold of that door handle. Years of his mother drilling etiquette into him finally paid off. He opened her door like a real gentleman and Lucy seemed pleased if not overjoyed.

“Thank you,” she meekly said, looking down at her feet. Schroeder grinned, satisfied. Riding on that small bit of confidence, he offered her his arm. Her eyes widened before she hid her face again. He almost retracted his arm but then she reached out. Her fingertips grazed his arm-

“SCHROEDER!” Charlie Brown came from behind and tackled Schroeder, causing him to nearly fall. He made an oomf sound on impact. Lucy’s hand disappeared and Schroeder wanted to cry from frustration.

“Schroeder! I was having doubts that you would come after I said I couldn’t drive you. But you’re really here!” Schroeder chuckled dryly and rubbed his neck.

“Yeah… I’m here.” 

Charlie Brown was wearing a classic suit and tie except, he chose to wear Chuck’s instead of dress shoes. The outfit would have looked weird on anyone else but Charlie Brown. At his side, clad in a frilly cherry red and white dress, was Heather. Schroeder didn’t know her well so he just waved. The red-haired girl politely smiled back.

Linus coughed from behind Charlie. Schroeder looked past his friend’s shoulder to see Sally standing there too. 

“Us two are going to get going. Thanks for the ride, Charlie Brown. Hey, sis.” And with that, the couple entered the school building. Lucy’s movement caught Schroeder’s eye and he turned to look at her. 

There’s a slight blush on her face and she’s clutching onto her purse. She stared up at Schroeder and gave him a tiny smile.

“I should head inside too. Violet and Patty have already been expecting me.”

Schroeder was a little disappointed she didn’t want to go in with him but overall understood. He wasn’t her date and she wanted to be with her friends. He didn’t want to be “like that.” He nodded and smiled. “Okay. I’ll see you in there?” 

Lucy grinned a little wider and nodded. “See you in there, Schroeder.” 

And she left.

Schroeder watched the back of her head until she entered the building. She froze in the door frame and it looked like she was going to turn around but ended up walking through.

Charlie Brown whistled, breaking Schroeder from his daze. He blushed when seeing Charlie’s smug expression. Schroeder immediately grew defensive, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Okay-”

“Let’s get in there, yeah?” Charlie cuts him off. His date grabs his arm and he leads them inside, Schroeder trailing behind them. His friend cast a look behind his back and winked at Schroeder.

Dear God, please don’t have Charlie Brown ruin whatever I have going on with Lucy van Pelt, Schroeder prayed.

—

The night was going swimmingly, Schroeder would like to think. Except, he had yet to dance with Lucy van Pelt.

There was a whopping one love song that the D.J. played so far and that was conveniently (not) the same time when Lucy decided to slip into the restroom. He would know that because he’s been stealing glances at her at the start of every song. By the time she came back, the next bumpy show tune had started playing on the overhead speakers.

He excused himself from the random group he found himself chatting in and went to the refreshment stand. He watched Lucy dance with her friends as he scooped fruit punch into an empty cup.

“Are you going to ask her to dance or…” Charlie Brown appears from nowhere and he jumps, spilling half of the drink back into the bowl. He was doing that more often than Schroeder would have liked. He wiped his hand on a napkin and turned to his friend.

“What?”

Charlie Brown’s chin jutted towards Lucy. “Her. When are you going to ask her to dance, you sly dog?” Schroeder’s face blossomed with red and he awkwardly coughed into his arm in order to hide it. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-” Charlie loudly laughed once.

“Hah! You’re funny if you think I didn’t see the way you were looking at her all night. Or the fact that the two of you showed up together tonight. I might be a moron but I’m not dumb.”

Schroeder scoffed and crossed his arms. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. And aren’t you supposed to be with your own date?” He bluffed. Charlie wasn’t having it. He waved a teasing finger in front of his face.

“Nuh uh uh. You can’t change the subject without telling me what’s going on with you and Lucy.” Schroeder groaned and downed his fruit punch as if it had liquid courage. He slammed the flimsy cup onto the table and stared Charlie Brown down. Schroeder flung his coat tail back and put his hands on his hips.

“Fine . You got me. I have a painstakingly massive crush on Lucy.” There. He said it. A giant grin breaks out on Charlie’s face.

“I knew it! Aw, man! Well- Why don’t you go over there and do some romancin.’” His friend did finger guns and pretended to shoot at Schroeder, making pew noises with his mouth. Schroeder sighed and rubbed his face.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do, Charlie Brown! But this blasted D.J. won’t play any stinkin’ slow songs!” It really was a predicament. Weren’t these event loaded with that type of stuff?

Charlie Brown snaps his fingers and points at Schroeder. He winks as he slowly backs away from him. “Not a problem, bud. I’ll go fix that up right now. Just make sure you don’t miss your chance!” He quickly turns around and runs towards the direction of the D.J. booth. 

“Wait! Shit.” Charlie Brown was already at the desk. Schroeder watched as he whispered something to the D.J. and flashed him a wink. Jesus Christ.

The music stops abruptly and a tapping of a mic is heard. The D.J. announces the last love song of the night. The lights dim into sultry reds and pinks. Schroeder’s palms get sweaty. The time was now. 

He spots Lucy from across the room. Her eyes find his too. Her lips are parted from panting; she had been dancing all night. God, Schroeder was going to lose his mind. 

It was like time started moving in slow motion with her being the end of his timeline. His eyes never left hers as he made his way across the crowded room. Couples formed around him but he was still reaching for his. 

Red, curly hair suddenly blocked his vision. 

“Schroeder! Will you dance with me?” Frieda batted her eyes at him. Schroeder had no time for pleasantries, not this time. 

“Not with you, Frieda.” He easily maneuvered around the shocked Frieda and continued his journey. Lucy was still alone. 

Schroeder stood in front of her and he smiled nervously. Lucy smiled back. The flash of her white teeth temporarily doom Schroeder. He flushed and rubbed his neck.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Schroeder.” 

Oh god.

“I remember you mentioning that you didn’t have a date. And this is a slow song. So- Uh . I was wondering if you’d want to- You don’t have to if you don’t want to but-” Lucy cuts Schroeder off with a gloved finger to his lips. He could feel her nail scrape his cupid’s bow. 

“I’d love to dance with you, Schroeder.”

Yeah, he was a goner.

Schroeder beamed and got closer to her. He lifted his hands. Then, as he attempted to recall different movies on where the guy places his hands, he realized that he had no idea how to dance with a girl. God save the King.

“Uhhh.” Suddenly Schroeder didn’t want to dance anymore. This was just plain embarrassing, not romantic. Lucy giggled. She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned toward him. 

“You don’t know how to dance, do you Schroeder?” He dropped his hands and looked at the ground awkwardly. Her heels moving closer grabbed his attention.

“Here.” Lucy gently grabbed Schroeder’s hands, placing them on her hips. He gulped. Lucy eyed him cautiously as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I hold onto you here.” With her final adjustment, she moved closer to him. The front of her bosom barely touched Schroeder’s chest. Barely, but he knew what was there. He didn’t want to be disrespectful, but his dirty mind did all the work for him. Lucy sealed the deal when she tightened her grip on him, pulling him closer so that their chests would touch.

Schroeder realized he might pass out before the song ended.

“And then when?” Schroeder asked, sounding out of breath. Lucy hummed, the sound reverberating through his chest, and began moving side to side slowly. Schroeder forced his hands to stay loose on her hips. He didn’t want to scare her off by being too aggressive.

“And then we just… sway. Like this.” Her breath tickled his mouth from their closeness. He mimicked her movements and began swaying with her. “Yeah. Just like that,” she whispered right before laying her head on Schroeder’s chest. 

Okay. He couldn’t pass out now.

The song played and they kept up with their slow dancing. Despite being surrounded by other couples, Schroeder felt like they were in their own world.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you before, Lucy.” She lifted her head to look at him. 

“You already apologized for that though.” Schroeder shook his head.

“No. I apologized for the time you dropped off food. I’m talking about when we were kids.” Lucy’s eyes widened.

“Oh.”

Schroeder sighed and continued, “I was mean to you. Incessantly so. We were just kids and you didn’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry, Lucy. I would change how I acted back then if I could.” Schroeder kept his eyes on Lucy. How would she react? Would she get angry? Would she ever talk to Schroeder again? 

It didn’t matter. Schroeder had to apologize at some point. And when would he have the confidence to do that again?

Lucy stared up at Schroeder in shock. She bit her lip and hid her face in his chest. She was silent for a bit. He knew she could probably hear how fast his heart was beating right now. After what felt like a century, she spoke.

“But you’re kind to me now . So that’s alright, Schroeder. I forgive you.” Schroeder was so happy he could leap to the moon. Lucy had forgiven him. 

Schroeder doesn’t know what he did next. It was so quick that it practically didn’t happen. The next day, it would all be just a blur to him. But when his lips lightly pressed against the top of Lucy van Pelt’s head, he made a promise.

“I won’t ever hurt you like that again. I promise.”

He felt a wetness on his hand. At first, he thought that he made Lucy cry. God forbid. But no, how could her tears reach his hands that were at her sides? Then, he felt another wetness on his cheek. Was he crying?

“What was that?” Lucy questioned as she stopped swaying to the music. She looked up at the ceiling with furrowed brows. Okay, so Schroeder wasn’t being hormonal. 

The fire alarm sounded and it started to downpour rain in the school gymnasium. Students shrieked as the water soaked them from head to toe. Lucy sputtered as water got in her mouth and Schroeder swiped at his face furiously in order to see through the pelting droplets.

He’s able to make out two figures running through the gym. It’s Pigpen and Shermy. They weren’t at the dance earlier, but they were now. They were wearing their speedos and goggles. In their arms were pool floaties. They yelled and screamed as they plopped onto their inflatables and skated across the wet gym floor.

Everyone just stood around dumbfounded until one of the teachers untriggered the alarm. The romantic lighting is turned off while the normal gym lights are flicked on. Schroeder winced at the harsh change. 

He was now able to see Lucy in front of him. She was soaked to the bone and her once flowy curls fell flat against her face. Schroeder glanced a little further down and noticed something bright red under her pale blue gown. 

“Here.” His suit jacket went off immediately and he placed it square around her shoulders without daring to look at her. She graciously took it and put it on with a small thanks. Schroeder nodded with an awkward cough. 

“Yeah. Sure. No problem.”

The wet students are escorted outside after the principal announces Homecoming to be over. According to Charlie Brown, Pigpen and Shermy fled the scene without getting caught.

“Ooo I’m gonna beat their face up the next time we have band rehearsal! I can’t believe they did that when I was getting all lovey-dovey with Heather!”

Red-haired girl, Heather, was shortly picked up by her parents after the incident occurred. Charlie had bid his gentleman-ly farewells in front of her parents as best as he could in his all soaked suit and sneakers. In the chaos of it all, he had forgotten to ask for her landline number.

“Well, I don’t need to drive Heather anymore so I can drive you back home, Schroeder bud,” Charlie said while slinging his arm across his shoulders. Schroeder eyes Lucy who was still at his side, his coat draped on her shoulders. She looked so small in his clothes.

“Uhhh,” Schroeder dragged out. Lucy looked up at him, her wet hair framing her petite face. She put a hand on his forearm.

“It’s okay, Schroeder. My brother and I have to get home anyways. I’ll… see you at school, right?” 

Schroeder gulped and nodded. He opened Linus’ car door for her, this time the passenger seat as her brother grumpily hopped into the driver’s. “I had fun tonight.” 

Lucy giggled shyly. Then, she reached up on her tippy toes and planted a soft kiss on Schroeder's cheek. Schroeder instinctively touched the spot with parted lips. What just happened?

“I did too.” She got in the car and Schroeder watched in stilled silence as their car got further away. Charlie Brown punched his arm, having seen the whole thing unfold.

“Damn. I didn’t know you had game, bud.” Schroeder said nothing as he got into his friend’s car. He’s silent the whole ride home as he tuned out Charlie Brown’s rant of the whole night. 

All he could think about was how Lucy’s body felt pressed against his and how soft her lips are.

Chapter Text

Schroeder’s studying is disrupted when his mom calls out for him downstairs. There was someone on the family phone asking for him. He stared at his own landline phone at his desk. All of his friends already had his phone number—minus Frieda. Yeah, no. He actually had to change his number sophomore year when she somehow got a hold of his first one. 

His mother called for him again, a little more impatient this time. Schroeder rose to his feet and rushed down the stairs. His mom was talking on the phone, laughing with a big smile on her face. When she saw her son descend down the stairs, she pursed her lips and handed over the phone. 

Schroeder waited for his mom to skedaddle back into the kitchen before bringing the phone to his ears. “Hello?”

“Hi. Is this Schroeder?” A soft voice came from the other end of the line. Schroeder’s eyes nearly bulged out of its sockets. He gripped the handle with both hands as if the person on the other side might hang up if he didn’t.

“Lucy?” Her signature giggle filled the static. 

“Do you know anyone else named Lucy?” 

Schroeder shook his head maniacally even though she couldn’t see him. “No. You’re my only Lucy. I mean- You are the only Lucy I know.” Schroeder held out the phone with a grimace and slapped his forehead. My Lucy? She wasn’t some sort of object to claim. He didn’t want her thinking that he was “like that.” 

“Ahem. Schroeder? You still there?” 

Get it together, Schroeder.

Schroeder snapped out of his self-brought humiliation and held the phone back to his ear. He cleared his throat.

“Um, yeah. Still here.” Schroeder heard shuffling and he imagined Lucy sitting in her room, on her bed maybe, as she traded the phone in her hands. He wondered what her bedroom looked like. Pastels, definitely. Pink? No. It had to be blue.

“I’m sorry I called so late. You’re not busy are you?” 

“No. I’m not busy at all,” Schroeder replied immediately. He did have homework, but she didn’t have to know that. When she didn’t respond, he added, “Don’t worry, Lucy. You’re not bothering me.”

Lucy sighed and there was more shuffling. “Would it be… weird if I asked if you had a more private phone?” 

“Are you asking me for my number, Lucy?” Schroeder bit his lip in amusement when he heard her muffled groan.

“Well when you say it like that you make me not want to ask anymore!” Schroeder laughed. He tried to stifle it when Lucy began whining. He found it kinda cute when she acted a bit childish. 

“Hmf. Fine! I take it back. I want you to forget I ever called!”

“Wait, wait, wait. Lucy, don’t hang up.” Schroeder forced himself to stop laughing. He tried to sound serious but his grin still hit from ear to ear. Lucy huffed and Schroeder imagined her sticking her nose up in the air.

“Why shouldn’t I hang up? You’re teasing me.”

Schroeder smiled as he leaned against the wall. He changed which hand held the phone as his other hand twirled the cable. “Well, if you hang up now you won’t be able to get my number.”

Lucy was still not having it. 

“Maybe I don’t want your digits anymore, Schroeder.” He shook his head and closed his eyes, a smile still prominent on his face. He could bicker like this with her all day.

“And what if I want to ask you for your number, Lucy? Would you still not give it to me?”

It was silent on the other line. Then some shuffling. Finally her airy voice melted in Schroeder’s ear.

“I could give you my number… if you want.”

Schroeder smiled. “Yes, please. I’d very much like your number.”

“Okay… But you have to write it down and promise not to lose it. I won’t repeat it again.”

Schroeder wrote down her number on his hand and he gave his. When the two hung up, Schroeder dashed upstairs and slammed his homework closed. He copied Lucy van Pelt’s digits over and over again until he memorized it. He’d need serious amnesia in order to “lose” this. He kept two copies for safe keeping. One by his phone and one in his wallet.

—

Schroeder scribbled into his notes. The teacher just finished explaining what derivatives were and how to solve them. Now she gave the class some “quiet time” to solve the remainder of the problems. 

Schroeder wasn’t the type to ever struggle in a class, but calculus was nothing like the pre-calculus he took last year. He got a low B on the first exam, to his utter shock. With that being said, he was extremely focused. He’d not let a stray grade influence his ability to keep that Juilliard scholarship.

As he was finishing up the last problem, someone tapped his shoulder. He turned around and saw Charlie Brown’s smug face. Schroeder checked to make sure the teacher wasn’t looking and gave him the “what do you want?” look.

Charlie leaned in and whispered, “Got a note for ya, bud. Here.” He gave Schroeder a folded piece of paper and returned to his work. Schroeder turned back to his desk and carefully opened the note, wary to make sure there were no sounds of crinkling.

On that paper, at the very top, were delicate scrawls of cursive. All done in a glittery blue ink. It read:

Do you have any clue what’s going on? This is Lucy by the way ☻

Schroeder smiled and glanced over to where Lucy sat. She was a row in front of him, only a few desks over. Her head was bent down, practically kissing her math textbook. The glitter pen she wrote with was in her mouth, her brows knotted in concentration. 

She looked so cute when she was concentrating.

Schroeder could not help the growing smile on his face as he scribbled a response:

Yes, why? You need any help?

Schroeder folded the note back up and slipped it behind him, back on Charlie Brown’s desk. Schroeder finished up the final problem as he watched the note get sneakily passed across the room, dodging any class snitches in its route. He watched in anticipation as Lucy opened it and wrote. He grabbed the note back from underneath his friend’s desk with little patience. He eagerly opened it.

Very much so. With three heavy-handed lines drawn underneath the word “very.” I don’t understand what the “d” and “x” are supposed to do. And what’s “e” got to do with any of this???? Gosh, I’m so lost, Schroeder. Help a girl out! (If you don’t, God is about to hear a lot of prayers from me tonight.)

Schroeder stifled a laugh. He couldn’t help but notice how much sloppier the cursive got as her passage went on. Her l’s turned into i’s and the t’s lost their strike through. Even though he couldn’t see her expression from his side of the classroom, her desperation was clear on the paper. He almost wanted to tease her and make her beg for his help but that would be just too cruel for the sake of his entertainment. Instead he wrote back:

Ha. Don’t call for God yet. I don’t mind helping you. The “d” over “dx” is just the derivative operator. The “e” in #8 is the natural log for 1 so you chose the right answer (good job!). Anything else you need help on?

The note is passed back and away. Lucy opens it and she’s staring at it for a while, probably from rereading it. Schroeder watches as her head doubles back to her notebook, back to the textbook, and then back to her notes. He could practically see the gears turning in that glossy head of hair. 

She eventually goes back to writing into their folded piece of paper. This time, it doesn’t take too long for her to write something back. The note takes its natural course back to Schroeder. He takes the note from Charlie Brown again as bouncy red curls pass his desk.

I think that’s all for now… I’ll probably need your help again when I try out these other problems. (Only if you’re okay with helping me of course.) Thanks again, Schroeder! ~ ♡

If Schroeder had no shame, he’d tear out the doodle heart and keep it as a souvenir. But he knew he’d have to give this note back to Lucy and he did not want her questioning why exactly her little heart drawing was suddenly missing along with a chunk of paper. She’d surely think he was weird and never speak to him again. Probably, most definitely.

He began drafting a response:

Sure. No problem, Lu-

His writing is abruptly interrupted, his still pushed down pen gliding an inky black line across the paper, as the teacher ripped it from his hands. Schroeder can do nothing as the teacher silently reads the contents of the note. Charlie Brown heavily sighs from behind him as if to say “Nice going, dude.”

Schroeder turns bright red from the sheer embarrassment of getting caught. He risks a glance over at Lucy. She’s turned to him now, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes shined with worry.

The teacher announces that if Schroeder wants to help Lucy badly enough to pass notes during class, then they can both stay after school to help each other out. No secrecy needed. Detention, essentially. Frieda sits back down at her desk looking awfully too pleased with herself.

Lucy shoots Schroeder an apologetic look and returns to her work. This time with no penned distractions. Schroeder sighs as the teacher walks back to her desk along with the contraband note. If he had known he was getting caught, he would have torn out the heart.

—

“Sorry about getting us detention, Schroeder.”

This was Lucy’s fourth apology since their special detention started. Instead of sitting in silence for several hours, they were instead sent to clean up their homeroom and they were free to leave.  The teacher claimed she had let them off easy—because Schroeder and Lucy were “good kids”—as she could have just grouped the two up in “normal” detention with the other delinquents. Note passing calculus questions was apparently not the average delinquent activity.

Schroeder chuckled as he wiped the solution off the clean window. Mrs. Smith kept homeroom quite tidy so there wasn’t much to do. They could have just gone home after cleaning the chalkboard and no one would have noticed. He was honestly just trying to prolong this sentence as long as possible because being stuck in a room  alone with Lucy van Pelt wasn’t a terrible punishment at all.

“I told you already, Lucy. It’s fine. I’m not mad at you.”

Schroeder climbed down from the step stool and took a peak at Lucy. She was cleaning the chalkboard for a while now; it was her second task right after sweeping. She had a determined look on her face as she tried to clean off the white gunk.

“I know you said it was fine but I still feel awful! We wouldn’t be here if I could just wrap my head around superlatives and not end up having to ask for your help. Gah! I think there’s a piece of gum stuck to the board. I can’t get it off!” She groaned in frustration. She dropped the ruler she was using as a makeshift scraper and began picking at it with her nails.

Schroeder walked over to her and stopped her scrubbing by gently grabbing her wrist. She looked shocked as she stared up at him with big eyes. Schroeder gave her a tiny smile

“Derivatives . And you’re going to ruin your nails if you keep at it.” He let go of her wrist. She blinked at him and looked away quickly. She coughed and put her hands on her hips.

“Right. Derivatives . Do you think derivatives will help me scrub off this piece of gum?” Schroeder laughed and looked at her artwork. The smeared out piece of gum was now broken in several sections thanks to Lucy’s hard work.

“No, I’m afraid derivatives do little besides scramble up that pretty head of yours.” Schroeder paused. What in god’s name did he just say? He gulped and peeked over to Lucy. Maybe she didn’t hear him.

Nope, she definitely heard. Lucy turned to face him and he watched as a cat-like grin spread across her face. She batted her eyelashes at him.

“Oh! You think I’m pretty, Schroeder?”

Haha. This would be a great time for something distracting to happen. Perhaps the fire alarm going off and water to cool his burning face. Oh, I think I already used up that one.

Schroeder chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. Instead of answering Lucy, he reached behind her. She sharply inhaled as Schroeder grasped a piece of chalk off of the metal tray. He didn’t realize how close their bodies had gotten until her arm lightly brushed against his chest when she turned to look at what he was doing. He got a whiff of the florals that clung to her hair and held his breath. Being this close to Lucy was already testing his limits, smelling her might just be his breaking point.

Schroeder drew a white heart where the gum was stubbornly stuck, perfectly camouflaging it. When he was satisfied with his work, he returned the chalk and stepped back. He slowly exhaled, free from his self-inflicted torment. Lucy chuckled as she admired his art. She then grabbed that same chalk and hugged the chalkboard, blocking Schroeder’s view. He heard the telltale signs of chalk being used and he curiously tried to sneak a peak. 

Lucy clicked her tongue and scolded him. “Don’t look.” Schroeder made a sound of resignation. He crossed his arms as he waited for Lucy to finish.

She finally finished, stepping aside with her hands behind her back. Schroeder smiled when he saw the addition of tinier hearts around his bigger one. Schroeder did not notice the minuscule “S + L” below their doodles.

“Well?” Lucy questioned. “You think Mrs. Smith will be gracious enough to not erase our elaborate cover-up?” Schroeder hummed in pretend deliberation as he stared at the board. He glanced over at Lucy and laughed. It must have happened when she was drawing the hearts, but there was now a white dot at the tip of her nose. Lucy frowned.

“What’s so funny?” She pouted and crossed her arms. Schroeder laughed as he approached her, shaking his head. Lucy let out a tiny yelp when he swiped at her nose. She grabbed her nose with big eyes as Schroeder waves his now chalk-dusted fingertip.

“No, but I think she would notice your white nose. She may even consider you a real delinquent,” Schroeder teased. Lucy scoffed and furiously rubbed at her nose. She turned her back against the chalkboard and leaned against the clean spot. She sighed and put her hands behind her back.

“I really am sorry about getting us detention, Schroeder.” He playfully rolled his eyes as he sat on top of a nearby desk. He propped his feet up on either side of the metal framing.

“Like I said for the millionth time, Lucy, it’s fine. Seriously.” She pouted and nodded, looking at the ground. She pushed off the board and walked towards Schroeder.

“You’re really not upset with me?”

Schroeder shook his head with a small smile. “Nope,” he replied with a small pop accompanying the p. Lucy nodded again and grinned mischievously. Schroeder gulped nervously when she stopped to stand between his spread legs. This was a… dangerous position for Schroeder’s feeble mind. She had a couple inches over him this way and he liked it. His face flushed with heat and he mentally recited the notes to the piano solo he was currently practicing in order to keep calm.

G, F sharp, C, E. Half rest. B flat, C, G, D. Whole rest. 

“Really sure?” Schroeder wanted to look away but ultimately couldn’t. How could he when the illustrious Lucy van Pelt was in. Between. His legs. Albeit, it was not in any way sexual unless someone squinted really hard. 

Schroeder took another fat gulp of saliva that unwillingly cultivated in his mouth. His face felt hot as he reassured her, “Very sure, Lucy.”

Lucy hummed in thought and rocked back on her heels. She brought her right hand from behind her back and extended her pinky. “Pinky promise?”

Schroeder, the ever unwise subject of teenage infatuation, offered up his pinky without a second thought. Lucy smiled as they interlocked pinkies, sealing their silly promise. 

Then, she pulled him forward with that same pinky. She surprisingly—or not if Schroeder considered her childhood tactics—had a lot of strength in that petite body of hers. Schroeder propelled forward and had to stop himself from falling on top of her by gripping onto the edge of the desk. Lucy then smudges a handful of chalk dust onto Schroeder’s face. He sputtered as chalk went into his mouth. 

Lucy could not stop laughing. She was bent over herself clutching her stomach with her clean hand. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at her prank when this was the hardest Schroeder had ever seen her laugh. He joined along in her chorus, doubling over with fits of laughter.

Their laughter eventually slows down into content sighs. Lucy giggles as she looks at Schroeder’s face. She pulls out a hand mirror from her dress pocket and hovers it in front of Schroeder’s face.

“Who’s the delinquent now?”

It definitely looked like it was Schroeder. A white handprint ran from his nose down to his chin. He chuckled as he examined his face side to side as if she had just given him an impressive haircut. Lucy pulls out a handkerchief from her pocket and offers it to Schroeder who, obviously, took it. The chalk came off relatively easily and he was soon back to his normal, un-delinquent self.

“You know what,” Schroeder began, giving Lucy back her hanky, “I don’t forgive you anymore.” 

Lucy fake gasped, “But we pinky promised!” 

Schroeder feigned indifference, shrugging. Lucy pouted and yanked on Schroeder’s sleeve. “I’m sorry, Schroederrrr. Please forgive me.” Schroeder sighed and rolled his eyes. He pretended to look around the room, refusing to look at Lucy. She tugged at his sleeve again with a whine.

“You’re a stubborn man, Schroeder. Fine. What will it take for you to forgive me?” Schroeder tapped his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. He snapped his fingers. Schroeder launched himself from the desk and faced Lucy. 

“I thought of something.” He doesn’t know where this newfound confidence came from, but he slowly approached her. He kept his hands to himself, safely tucked away in his pant pockets as he backed her against the door leading to the hallway. They’re less than a foot away when Schroeder bends down to her height. 

The smell of flowers overwhelms his nostrils again but this time he breathes it in. He was prepared for it now.

Schroeder knew Lucy’s eyes were beautiful before, but seeing them this up close was like standing face-to-face with art. The eyes he once compared to chocolate were before him in greater detail. As an art critic would examine brush size and strokes, he took notice of the thin streaks of a lighter brown in her dark irises. Schroeder also took note of the mole right below her left eye, hidden among her long lashes. 

Lucy didn’t move the entire time he examined her face. She didn’t say a thing but Schroeder heard the sharp inhale she took when her back first hit the door. To her credit, she didn’t shy away from his gaze as Schroeder definitely would have if put in this situation. She had a look of defiance in her eyes, an unspoken dare danced around in her pupils. Schroeder wouldn’t bite, not yet.

He leaned back and crossed his arms. He could feel his racing heart slam against his rib cage where his arms laid. His heartbeat could be heard in his ears, battering like a war drum. Schroeder tried to remain calm when he finally spoke to the cause of his ills.

“I remember a certain birdie say that she would teach me how to drive. It’s been nearly three weeks and I’m still riding a bike to school.” Lucy, who was stiff against the door, finally loosened. She let out a humorless chuckle and crossed her arms.

“Oh yeah? Well I remember a certain someone say they would help me with math today but yet we’re still here playing these childish games,” Lucy bit back playfully.  Schroeder threw his hands up in defense.

“Okay, okay. I hear you. How about this? Every—let’s say—weekend you teach me how to drive and I‘ll teach you everything we learned in math for that week.”

Lucy squinted and tilted her head. “No, ‘cause then I’ll be behind and that’s too much to cram in one day. How about you tutor me twice a week and in exchange I’ll teach you how to drive on the weekends? Deal?”

It was like making a bargain with the devil. Schroeder knew he was in for hell by agreeing to meet up with Lucy three times a week. He could barely contain himself just by being alone in a classroom with her for less than an hour. He tried to imagine them alone in his room, or maybe even her room. Would he even be able to focus long enough to properly tutor her? Would he be able to drive them safely if they were in a small environment like a car?

Schroeder didn’t have the answer to those questions yet. But he knew he had to take the chance. To take that risk of falling down further. Eve with the apple and Schroeder with Lucy. Deals with the devil are most often sweet.

Schroeder grinned and offered his hand. “Sounds like a deal to me, Lucy van Pelt.”

—

“Okay, okay. Turn the wheel to the right. But not too much. Now just- SLOW DOWN!” 

Schroeder slammed his foot onto the break, causing him and Lucy to jerk forward abruptly. She made a small oof sound as her seatbelt locked in place. He almost scraped up his new car on the trashcan. 

Schroeder gasped, adrenaline kicking in. He turned to his hopefully unharmed passenger and teacher. “Shit. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Lucy combed her messed up bangs back to where they belonged. She threw her head back on the head rest and eyed Schroeder. Maybe it was because of how genuinely worried he looked, but Lucy decided to have a bit of fun. She gasped, pretended to faint, and threw her arm up dramatically.

“Bleh. I think you just snapped my neck, Schroeder.” 

Schroeder huffed and rolled his eyes. “That’s not funny.” He couldn’t help the goofy grin that enveloped his face. Okay, maybe it was a bit funny, Schroeder admitted. He enjoyed this playful side to Lucy. He enjoyed being able to have her comfortable enough around him to joke around like this. He enjoyed making her laugh. 

Lucy, done with her charade, sat back up in her chair. She stuck her head out the side of the convertible and hummed, impressed.

“Not bad, Schroeder. You managed to parallel park on your first day without hitting the trash cans. You could work on your breaking though.” Schroeder sighed heavily. Instead of worrying about how hard it would be to behave himself when alone with Lucy, he should have been worrying about how hard it would be to actually drive.

“Hey. It’s my first time driving. Cut me some slack,” Schroeder joked. Lucy chuckled as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. I’m just a bit of a perfectionist is all. Anyways, let’s call it here for today before I get a concussion.” By the time her hand touched the door handle, Schroeder was already at her side. He yanked at the door handle but it didn’t open. He pulled on it again and it still wouldn’t budge. 

“Um…” 

“Ah,” Lucy said as she leaned over to the driver's side. She pressed a button and the door clicked, signaling it to be unlocked. She turned back to him with a small grin, “Child lock.” 

Schroeder sheepishly smiles as he’s finally able to open her door. Lucy giggled and stepped out, accepting the hand he offered her. He walks her to her brother’s car, the car she had taken to get to Schroeder’s house, and repeats the same process but instead helps her get into the driver’s seat. She rolled down the window and gave him a smile.

“Thanks. By the way, why did your parents get you such an expensive car if you can’t even drive it yet? We could have always used this one or borrow one of your parents.’”

Because a convertible makes it so I’m not stuck breathing the same air as you, Lucy van Pelt. Because if I was in a normal car, I’d choke on your air from how sweet it is and I’ll make us crash and I can’t have that happening.

Schroeder rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and shrugged. “I said it looked cool so my parents gave it to me as a very early birthday present.” Also true but it’s a significantly less unhinged reason. “Plus I don’t want to use Linus’ car just in case I scratched it. Likeee how I almost did today.” 

Lucy waved him off. “Not to worry, Schroeder. Soon you’ll be a fabulous driver like me.” She put on her sunglasses. “See you Monday?” Schroeder nodded. One day until he got to see Lucy again.

“See ya Monday, Lucy.”

—

Schroeder watched, his head on a propped fist, as Lucy hurriedly erased the numbers in her notebook. She inspected his work one more time as she tried the math problem again. He wasn’t even looking to make sure she was solving it correctly or not. He was too fascinated by her. In their first tutoring session, Schroeder already noticed several habits of Lucy’s.

When she was actively working on a problem, she furrowed her brows and bit the ends of her pencil. Only her pens remained unscathed by her teeth marks. 

When she was concentrating, she would either stick her tongue out or she would bite her bottom lip. The reason why she always brought lipstick to school was because she always accidentally rubbed it off. 

Schroeder knew when she was listening if she squinted or tilted her head. Inadvertently, he also knew that she wasn’t paying attention if she nodded her head incessantly.

He kept all of these little things in the back corner of his brain. The corner where it was already filled to the brim with Lucy van Pelt and her machinations. Schroeder might need to expand soon.

“Got it! I think I actually understand now! Will you check if I did it right, Schroeder?” He’s reeled back into reality by the same person that that corner of his brain was inhabited by. He blinks several times at Lucy’s excited expression and nods, grabbing the notebook from her hands. 

“Sure. Let me see.” Schroeder pushed away his mind’s version of Lucy and focused on the one in front of him, the one who needed his help. He examined her work thoroughly even down to her cross-checking. His eyes widened in surprise. The answer was correct. Schroeder gave her a detailed example of one of the more simpler problems and she had managed to solve the most difficult, roundabout version of that type of math problem. 

Schroeder already knew she was incredibly intelligent; she was currently at the top of their senior class in every subject besides Calculus. She would probably be a part of the student council if this wasn’t her first year at his highschool. He just didn’t think she would catch on so quickly on a topic she previously had extreme difficulty with.

Lucy was an incredibly fast learner. Schroeder filed that information away in his brain’s “Lucy Corner.”

Schroeder smiled and nodded his head enthusiastically. “Yeah. You got the question right. Good job, Lucy.” Lucy visibly brightened at the praise so Schroeder made sure to do that often. 

He proceeded to do the same thing for the other problems, showing her how to solve an easy one and letting her do the hard ones. She quickly got to work with each one, only needing help every now and then. Their calculus homework was finished in little over an hour.

“Whew! We’re done!” Lucy exclaimed with raised arms as she leaned back in the dining room chair. Schroeder’s mom comes out of the kitchen from Lucy’s announcement. 

Lucy beamed, “I’d love to stay for dinner, ma’am. But-” She turned to Schroeder with a cautious look. “Are you busy, Schroeder? I can always come back later when your mom is finished cooking?”    

Schroeder be damned if he made her go home and drive back here.

He immediately shook his head and quickly responded, “Don’t go.” Lucy raised a brow. Schroeder flushed and looked away. “I mean- you should stay. No point in you leaving and coming back, right?” He nervously chuckled. Lucy pursed her lips and leaned over, lightly elbowing Schroeder.

“Yeah, you’re right. Soooo, what do we do while we wait?”

Crap. Schroeder didn’t think that far. He scrambled for things to do in his house. Baseball? He glanced at what she was wearing. A white knee-length skirt- Okay, so no baseball. 

He thought about taking her to his room. Was it clean? Did he put away his laundry? He was pretty sure his room was presentable, but would she be comfortable going to his room? Best not to risk it.

“Uhh,” Schroeder dragged out. Lucy then tapped his hand and pointed to the room next door.

“Do you… still play piano?”

“Huh?” Schroeder looked over and realized he had left the door to the music room wide open. The room was dark but his shiny grand piano reflected off the light that poured into the room. The music room used to be his playroom years ago. His old toy piano used to be at the center of it. Some of his earliest memories are of him playing on that tiny piano. Most of those memories included Lucy. 

He turned back to Lucy. Her eyes were glazed over as she stared at the piano. She had an odd look in her eye that Schroeder hadn’t seen on Lucy since she came back to town. It was a look of regret mixed with sadness. His chest tightened with emotion. 

Schroeder stood from the dining table and offered his hand to Lucy. She snapped out of whatever trance she was in and stared up at him with big worried eyes. He could read the silent question still on her face: Am I allowed in there?

Schroeder gave her a reassuring smile and gestured toward the music room. “Would you like to hear me play?” Lucy’s eyes widened and she visibly brightened, her smile spreading from ear to ear. She took Schroeder’s hand at a gentleness that made his heart ache. He forced his breathing to remain steady as she led her into the music room.

He flicked on the switch and the chandelier lit up the room with iridescent colors thanks to the glass’ refraction. His piano, sleek and black, sat beneath the light. Lucy runs a finger across the piano’s surface.

“It’s bigger than I remembered,” Lucy joked. Schroeder chuckled as he moved to sit on the bench. He opened the fallboard and it produced a small thud as it touched the body of the piano. Lucy, who was examining the inner anatomy, gathered to where Schroeder was sitting. She clasped her hands behind her back and awkwardly stood to the side. Schroeder noticed her fidgeting and patted to the space next to him.

“There’s room if you want to sit?” Schroeder held his breath as he watched Lucy hesitate briefly before finally sitting down at his side. He exhaled in relief only to suck in another breath when their forearms touched and remained in contact. 

Behave, Schroeder. It’s just her arm, he told himself. His body didn’t listen. His heart started racing and his palms began to sweat. She was so close, he whined desperately. 

He turned his head to fake a cough. He needed a moment’s respite from her overwhelming presence. Then, he looked back at her and gave her a confident smile. “Do you have a song request?”

Lucy gave him a small smile and shook her head. “I’ve not a clue about classical music.” She let out a dry chuckle and added, “Some things never change, do they?” There was a slight sadness in her words to which she covered up with another smile. Schroeder hummed thoughtfully.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. Plenty of things have changed,” he offered, “Like, I play more than just Beethoven now.” And that Lucy was absolutely beautiful sitting next to him at a piano like this and that she was perfect in every way and totally not annoying like how he thought she was when they were kids. 

Lucy laughed and Schroeder paled thinking he accidentally said his thoughts aloud. He relaxed when she said, “‘More than just Beethoven?’ Did I hear that correctly?” Lucy laughed again and Schroeder scoffed in embarrassment. His face grew hot and he mindlessly fingered the D key as a distraction.

“Yes . I do, thank you very much,” Schroeder huffed. “I still play a lot of classical music like Mozart, Dussek, and Woelfl. Also got into a bit of romanticism from Chopin and Tchaikovosky. There’s also baroque-” Schroeder realized he was going on a tangent and stopped himself. He just couldn’t seem to stop embarrassing himself. 

Lucy, however, seemed more than interested in his musical rant. She was watching him attentively, her head tilted to the side. She asked, “What song are you practicing now?”

Schroeder grinned as he showed her the sheet music. “Schubert’s Piano Sonata No. 20. I’m still learning it so I don’t have it memorized yet. Hence the pile of papers.” Lucy curiously scanned the music pages. She hummed as she flipped through them and then let out a humorous chuckle.

“There’s a lot of music notes in here.” 

Schroeder sighed, “Yeah. This is my last solo before college so I want to go out with a bang, y’know? In all honesty, maybe I should have gone with a shorter piece.” Lucy turned her body towards him.

“Solo? You mean you’re going to be performing at a concert or something?”

Schroeder nodded. “A piano recital. It’s coming up soon actually, right before Christmas.” Schroeder paused before he cautiously added, “You should come watch me play, Lucy. If you’re not busy, that is.”

Lucy bit her lip and gazed down at her lap. Schroeder watched in suspense as she fiddled with her hands. “Would it be alright if I come? I don’t want to be a bother.”

Schroeder gently reached for her busy hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze. He let go and readied his fingers at the keys. 

“Listen to me play first. If you find it a bore, you don’t have to come. How’s that?” Lucy, somewhat in a daze, looked up from her lap. She realized he was waiting for her response and she eagerly nodded.

Without further delay, Schroeder’s hands slammed onto the piano, hitting the first of many chords. He let the music take him, he shut his eyes and swayed to the sounds he produced with passion. He forgot Lucy was beside him but is frequently reminded of that fact when his arm or shoulder would bump into hers. But even after the reminders, he would quickly lose himself to the music once more. The notes surged in his veins and made him a puppet, Schroeder a willing subject. He was one with the music, his soul molded by the composer. He was a performer.

Schroeder is only able to play half of the sonata before his mom calls out for dinner. Being dragged out of a performance mid song was like being splashed with cold water. His hands hovered over the keys shakily, his fingers itching to continue.

He then remembers Lucy at his side and the feeling subsides. Did he get too ahead of himself? Would she think him or his passions were odd just as she did before? 

Schroeder sets his shaky fingers down into his lap and turns to her. He braces himself for a hateful comment or at least a judgemental stare. Instead, Lucy is wide-eyed with awe. Her lips are slightly parted and Schroeder watches in slow motion as the corners of her mouth turn upwards.

“Wow, Schroeder! You’ve gotten so much better since the last time I heard you play. You’re like- you really are a professional now!” Professional . Lucy van Pelt said he sounded like a professional . It was a validation he didn’t know he needed from her. It was like a dream come true.

“Thank you,” he meekly replied.

He felt a blush come to his cheeks at her words. Lucy just complimented me, Schroeder said dreamily. His mother calls for dinner again causing Lucy to hop onto her feet, yanking Schroeder up with her. She leads him to the dining room, her hand wrapped around his wrist. She looked over her shoulder.

“Come on, musical genius. You’re going to need energy for that solo.”

Schroeder brightened, “So you’ll come watch me?” He didn’t want to sound desperate but it was too late, his voice said it all. Lucy scoffed and turned back around. She squeezed his hand before letting go.

“Of course I will, Schroeder. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

After dinner was over and Lucy went home, Schroeder locked himself away in the music room. He drilled the piece to death until he had the whole thing memorized, beginning to end. He wouldn’t disappoint Lucy.

—

It was a busy Friday afternoon at the mall. Halloween was just next week and Peppermint Patty was, of course, hosting a party for it. Schroeder was already planning on going, thanks to his best friend’s life advice, but what he was planning on not doing was wearing a costume. Yet, here he was in the costume store’s dressing room, his so-called best friend held him captive on the other side. He wouldn’t let him leave until he tried on at least one outfit.

“Charlie Brown. Is this really necessary?” Schroeder peeked his head out of the changing room and shot his friend a questioning look. Charlie turned around. He rolled his eyes before yanking the curtain open, revealing the outfit Schroeder was wearing. 

“Hey!” Schroeder yelped as he used the curtain to cover himself as if he was butt naked. Charlie rolled his eyes again and got rid of Schroeder’s cover.

“Oh, stop whining already. It’s a Halloween party, of course you need a costume!” His friend looked the costume up and down and made an impressed face. “You make a good Elvis, Schroeder. Have you considered dressing like this normally?” 

Schroeder scoffed. He’s about to form a retort when bouncy red curls appear in his periphery.

“I like your costume, Schroeder. You look very handsome,” Frieda complimented as she shamelessly eyed him. Schroeder shifted uncomfortably but greeted the girl politely nonetheless. How long had she been here? She was carrying a shopping bag with presumably her own costume. He couldn’t tell what was in the bag besides that there was a black wig sticking from the top.

“I’ll see you at the party, Schroeder. Can’t wait to see your costume again,” she said with a wink. That would have sent any normal teenage boy into a fit, but neither Schroeder’s body or face gave any sort of reaction. He did, however, have a flashback of another girl winking at him and how she always managed to rile him up. 

Frieda eventually left while Schroeder stood motionless in the dressing room, lost in the thought of a certain girl. Charlie Brown waited until Frieda left the store before beginning to frantically pull off Schroeder's costume. 

“Nevermind the costume. We’ll come back tomorrow and look for something better. Your hair isn’t even black like Elvis’ anyways.”

—

 Schroeder looked himself over in the mirror as he finished coloring his nose. The Scarecrow outfit Charlie Brown chose for him made him nearly unrecognizable aside from his mop of blonde hair. To tie it all together, his mom helped him stuff straw into his sleeves. He looked ridiculous. He felt ridiculous. He hadn’t worn a Halloween costume to this degree of commitment since junior high.

Just then, Schroeder’s phone rang. He stopped his self-loathing in the mirror and went to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Schroeder.” 

Schroeder forgot all about how silly he looked as Lucy’s soft voice came through. He smiled as he pulled out his desk chair and sat in it like an obedient puppy. 

“Oh hey, Lucy. What’s up?” He heard some shuffling in the other line and heard Linus shout “Hurry up!” in the background. 

“Give me a second! Sorry, Linus and I are fixing to leave for the Halloween party. You’re coming right? Do you need a ride?” 

Schroeder would be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about taking her up on that offer. But that would be lying and he didn’t want to do that to her. He shook his head. “Charlie Brown is supposed to pick me up. He actually called me a few minutes ago so he should be almost here.”

“Oh,” Lucy replied, her voice sounding a bit disappointed. Damn honesty. Schroeder, upon hearing this, is about to change his answer but she quickly hid it by saying, “Okay! I’ll see you at the party then, right?”

Schroeder laughed dryly, “Yeah, if you even recognize me. Don’t laugh, but I’m dressed up as-”

“Wait! Don’t tell me! I wanna make it a surprise.” Schroeder raised a brow.

“Are you sure? You really might not recognize me if not for my hair.” 

Lucy giggled. “You underestimate my keen eye. I’d be able to recognize you even if you dyed your hair a different color, Schroeder. Now, I really gotta go before Linus leaves without me. I’ll see you there!” The line goes dead before Schroeder can even say goodbye. He’s frozen for a moment, digesting Lucy’s words, before finally setting the phone back down.

I’d be able to recognize you even if you dyed your hair … Schroeder’s stomach did backflips at the implication behind those words. Schroeder’s hair had to be the most noticeable thing about him. It was “a blonde as yellow as corn” according to his mom; apparently it ran prominent on his dad’s side of the family. How would Lucy be able to recognize him without it? He was overthinking it. 

The horn of Charlie Brown’s car honked in his driveway. With his parents already knowing he was going to a party, there was no need to sneak out. Schroeder was surprised with how laid-back they were about it, but he wasn’t one to complain. He happily accepted his non-existent curfew and ran with it.

Maybe he should have started going to parties sooner.

He hopped into the passenger seat of Charlie Brown’s car. It was a little difficult buckling his seatbelt with all the straw in his clothes, but he managed after a few of them cracked into smaller pieces. He turned to his friend and burst out laughing. Charlie Brown was dressed as John Lennon. Glasses and mustache and all.

“What’s so funny, straw man?” Charlie laughed while pretending to adjust his round glasses, “Do they not rock with The Beatles in Oz?” Schroeder tried to stop laughing as they backed out of the driveway but it would always come back the moment he looked at Charlie Brown.

“Yeah, yeah. I know I look hilarious. Now get a hold of yourself.”

“Sorry, sorry. You just look so posh.” Schroeder glanced into the rearview mirror and found the backseat empty. “Where’s your sister? She not coming?” Charlie rolled his eyes and gripped the steering wheel.

“No. She’s not coming tonight. You wanna know why?” He asked, his tone clipped.

“Um. Why?” Like her brother, Sally never missed a party even if she was sick and dying.

“She’s grounded because mom caught her kissing Linus van Pelt in her room when they were supposed to be ‘studying.’” He scoffed, “Lucky it was my mom that found them and not me or my dad.” 

“Yikes,” Schroeder lamely offered. He was aware of how protective he was over his little sister, so he didn’t want to ruin his night by mentioning it any further. They didn’t talk for the rest of the drive and had the radio fill the silence. That was fine with Schroeder, who laid his head against the window and let his mind wander. Was Lucy already there? Better yet, who or what was she dressed as. Schroeder was so concerned that she wouldn’t be able to find him, but what if it ended up being the other way around?

The car stopped moving and he realized that they had arrived at Peppermint Patty’s pad. “Alright,” Charlie Brown said as he took the keys out of the ignition. “Let’s get spooky.” 

They got out of the car and Schroeder curiously examined the other parked cars lining the road. Franklin and Marcie were already here. There was Patty’s car and Pig-pen’s too. He then spotted Linus’s car parked further down and immediately smiled. Lucy was here. 

Charlie chuckled as he threw an arm around Schroeder and ruffled his hair. “Okay, lover boy. You’ll see your girl inside if you hurry up.”

She’s not my girl, Schroeder’s brain wanted him to say. Instead, he blushed and followed his friend inside. 

The first thing he noticed was the costumes. Charlie Brown was right when he said he had to wear a costume. Everyone was wearing one, though some more extravagant than others. Schroeder was surprisingly on the moderate side.

Second thing he noticed was the music. Patty must have decided that normal Halloween music was too boring so she brought in a live D.J. who Schroeder saw stationed in the corner of the living room next to the fireplace. A crowd gathered around him.

The last thing was the decorations. The stair railing were covered in fake spiderwebs and the ceiling was decked out with black and orange streamers. Peppermint Patty really outdone herself this time. It was the last Halloween party she would be throwing.

Schroeder grew extremely overwhelmed. The music was too loud and everyone’s crazy outfits made him dizzy. Charlie Brown whisked him away to the kitchen before he could throw up at the front door.

The usual group of people are loitering around the kitchen. Franklin, dressed as Frankenstein, is talking to some girl dressed as a vampire. Marcie, who surprisingly looks like herself, pours a drink out for Schroeder and Charlie.

“Thanks, Marcie. Who are you supposed to be exactly?” The girl laughs and pushes up her glasses.

“I’m Velma.” Schroeder blinks as he tries to recall a “Velma.” His mind comes up with nothing. “Jinkies? Where’s my glasses?” Still nothing. Marcie sighs, “She’s from a cartoon, Schroeder. Me and Peppermint Patty are matching.” Oh, that made sense. Schroeder didn’t watch T.V. all that often. Nevermind cartoons.

“Did I hear my name? What is it?” Patty walks into the kitchen already blitzed out of her mind. She’s wearing brown, baggy corduroy pants with an even baggier green t-shirt. She spots the two and laughs. She punches them harshly in the shoulder, causing them both to wince.

“John Lennon. Hah! I bet you coordinated with your bandmates because I’m pretty sure I saw Ringo, Paul, and George chugging beers in the garden earlier.” Charlie laughs and confirms with Patty before excusing himself, probably going to find the missing three members of The Beatles. Patty turned to Schroeder and raised a brow.

“And who are you supposed to be?”

Schroeder rubbed the back of his neck but winced when a piece of straw poked him instead. “The Scarecrow? From the Wizard of Oz?” Patty waved him off then got up in his face.

“Yeah, I get that . I mean who are you? I’m so drunk I can’t tell people apart in these costumes.” Schroeder made an “o” with his mouth. 

“Patty. It’s me. Schroeder.” 

“Ohhhh. Sorry ‘bout that, bud. Nice costume, enjoy the party.” She patted his back before engaging in a conversation with Marcie. Schroeder sighed, downed his drink before grabbing another one, and started looking for something to do. He was a little more acclimated to the environment so he decided to walk around while he sipped on his first drink. His eyes searched for Lucy in the crowded room.

A girl bumped into him, making him accidentally spill the remainder of his drink on the floor. He spun around and saw black hair double the size of his head. The freckled face in front of him stared at him with a shocked expression.

“Frieda?” Schroeder asked with a bit of skepticism. He glanced down at her outfit twice before coming to a conclusion. Frieda had come as Priscilla Presley. 

The girl squinted, the long fake lashes hitting her eyebrows. Disappointment and embarrassment dawned on her face. “Schroeder? But you’re- I thought you would be Elvis?” 

Schroeder didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry. He wanted to laugh because Charlie Brown had unknowingly helped him not accidentally match with Frieda but he wanted to cry because the expression she had right now was so pitiful that he felt bad. 

“I changed my mind,” is all that he could find himself to reply with. Frieda nodded before excusing herself. He turned after her, guilt laden in his gut, but then a voice called out from behind him. Small hands found themselves around his waist.

“Found you!” Schroeder whirled around and was face-to-face with Lucy. Her usual free flowing hair was separated into pigtails. She was clad in a light blue gingham overall dress on top of a white blouse. In her arms she carried a small picnic basket. By itself it looked like a common farm girl outfit but one glance at her red ballerina flats told him otherwise. 

By God, she was supposed to be Dorothy. In some odd string of fate, Schroeder had avoided matching with Frieda and instead matched with Lucy. 

“Lucy! Let me guess, you’re-”

“Dorothy. Yup!” She exclaimed, proudly placing her hands at her hips. She then examined his costume. Her eyes widened with surprise before exclaiming, “And you’re-”

“The Scarecrow. Yep,” Schroeder finished. He thought she would be upset, or at least suspicious, at the two of them matching, but she was all but. Lucy squealed as she hopped up and down excitedly.

“Oh, we’re matching! That’s so rad!” She giggled and poked Schroeder's straw-filled arm. “Color me impressed. You went all out, Schroeder. I should have brought a real dog with me to complete my costume.” 

“A real dog?” Lucy then gestures for him to wait as she lifts the flaps of her picnic basket. She stuck her hand in and pulled out a white stuffed beagle. Schroeder laughed and cradled the fake dog like a baby when she offered it to him.

“I think this is great, Lucy. Wow, I can’t believe we accidentally matched.” A match made in heaven, Schroeder said to himself. 

People stop what they’re doing as the music abruptly stops. A stinging microphone ring echoes loudly as Peppermint Patty taps on it repeatedly.

“Attention! A game of spin-the-bottle will be commencing shortly. If you want to play, please leave the dance floor now and head into the backyard. Thank you! Party on!” The music cuts back in and people get back to dancing. Lucy’s friends, Violet and Patty, appear from the depths of the crowd and grab onto either side of Lucy. 

“Come on, Lucy! Let’s go play!” Violet urged. She and Patty were wearing color-coordinated 20’s themed costumes. Lucy laughed and nodded. She turned to Schroeder, her eyes hopeful.

“Will you join too, Schroeder?” Her friends were staring at him expectantly as if to say “Well?” 

Schroeder gulped and laughed nervously. He shrugged. “Sure. I’ll come and watch at least.”

—

Schroeder would not be watching. As soon as Charlie Brown spotted him enter the backyard in tow with Lucy, he grabbed him and placed him at the opposite end of the misshapen circle Patty had drawn on the cement. Schroeder shot Lucy an apologetic look from across the circle and glared at his friend.

“What gives man? I wanted to sit next to Lucy.” Charlie clicked his tongue and pointed to the circle.

“No, man. I’m doing you a solid, okay? The chances of the bottle landing on two people sitting right next to each other is so low it might as well be impossible. You’ll have a better chance at kissing Lucy if you two sit away from each other. Trust me, I’ve played this game way too much.” Charlie Brown visibly shuddered as he recalled the instance he and Franklin had to kiss once although they had sat on opposite ends of the circle. 

He groaned and slapped his forehead. “I wasn’t planning on playing, man. I just wanted to watch,” Schroeder bit back in a hiss. More people joined the circle. Charlie scoffed and elbowed him.

“So what? You okay giving up your chance to kiss Lucy van Pelt? Okay. Leave the circle now and maybe I’ll get to kiss her instead.” Charlie looked at Schroeder and wagged his eyebrows.

Schroeder felt a vein pop in his forehead. He mistakenly tried to imagine Lucy and his best friend kissing, thinking he might find it impossible or even gross, but the thought only made him angrier. He knew he had no claim over Lucy; they weren’t dating. But would he be able to control himself if he watched another man do what he’d been fantasizing about for months? He already knew the answer.

If he didn’t play, that meant someone else playing would kiss Lucy and he would have to watch. If he did decide to play, then he might have the chance to kiss her. 

Resolve hardened in his gut. He had to take his chances.

“Alright, you dirty animals! Let’s get started. Is everyone who wants to play here?” Peppermint Patty plopped down next to Marcie, an empty bottle of beer in her hand. A chorus of yes’s circulate among the group. Schroeder took a peep at everyone playing. In clockwise order sat: him, Charlie Brown, Pig-Pen, Shermy, Franklin, Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Linus, a couple of Linus’ friends, Lucy, Patty, Violet, and several other non-seniors. 

With over 15 people participating, Schroeder’s chances of kissing Lucy were slim. A whopping 6% chance. He kissed the chance of kissing Lucy goodbye. He tried to look on the bright side, that’s 6% percent more than whatever it was at before.

The infernal game begins and the bottle is first spun by Peppermint Patty. It landed on a junior cheerleader and she had to kiss Franklin. Franklin looked more than pleased to do so. Schroeder looked away with a flushed face as the girl’s friends practically had to pry her off of him. After the kiss, Franklin made a phone sign and mouthed a flirty “Call me.” The cheerleader and her friends giggled. 

From there, they went clockwise in spinning the bottle. Peppermint Patty lands on Marcie, who was sitting next to her. Schroeder slowly turned to face Charlie Brown, who refused to look at him, as the two girls pecked each other twice—thrice—on the lips. Marcie was still blushing furiously when she skipped her own turn, claiming it was because she was already chosen and wanted to give others a chance. 

Linus, who came as Elvis, went next. Schroeder didn’t even pay attention to who he made out with since all he could think about was how he was so glad that he didn’t show up as Elvis. Linus, with his gelled back, raven hair, was the perfect fit for the rock and roll star. 

Before he knew it, it came to be Lucy’s turn. Violet and Patty giggled—Lucy, an excited grin—as she reached for the bottle and gave it a good spin. It felt like the bottle was spinning forever. He prayed it landed on him. But in the likely chance that it didn’t, he repeated in his head until the bottle slowed to a stop:

It’s okay if it’s not me. I will not get mad. It’s just a stupid game and the kiss meant nothing. It’s okay if it’s not me. I will not get mad. It’s just a stupid game and the kiss meant nothing. It’s okay if it’s not-

It was him. The bottle had landed on him. He stared at the open end of the bottle with shock. First the matching costumes and now this. He definitely used up all his luck today.

Charlie Brown hooted as he slapped Schroeder on the back, literally snapping him out of his dazed stupor. “What did I tell you, man? Trust me!” 

Schroeder’s eyes widened as he slowly looked over at where Lucy was sitting. He made eye contact with her and noticed the flush that crawled from her neck to her cheeks. She quickly looked away and nervously toyed with the fake puppy in her lap. Schroeder’s heart sank. Was she too embarrassed to kiss him? Did she not want to kiss him? Violet and Patty were giggling as they playfully poked at their bashful friend.

“Ooo, Lucy got Schroeder! It’s like Lucy’s childhood dream come true!” 

“Go on, Lucy. You gotta kiss him!” Patty nudged her a little too forcefully and she fell forward, barely catching herself with her palms. She winced as the rough concrete came in contact with her skin.

Schroeder was up on his feet and by her side in less than a second. It was like the alcohol made his body run on autopilot. He didn’t care if any of his classmates saw his affection towards the girl he used to hate. He crouched beside Lucy and looked at her worriedly. He carefully helped her sit back up.

“Are you okay?” Lucy nodded. She wouldn’t look at him but Schroeder noticed how red the tips of her ears were. She was embarrassed. Humiliated, even. He was typically slow to anger, and even then he was good at hiding it. Though with a little push from the alcohol, anger coursed through his veins and became visible on his face. He scowled and turned to look at Patty and Violet. “What’s wrong with you two? She doesn’t have to kiss me if she doesn’t want to, so don't force her.”

The circle of party-goers was silent as they watched the scene unfold.

“It was just a game,” Violet reasoned as she shrunk away from Schroeder’s gaze. “Sorry though, Lucy. We shouldn’t have pushed you.” Patty nodded and added on with her own apology. To their credit, they at least looked genuinely apologetic. Lucy placed a gentle hand on Schroeder’s shoulder. She gave him a thankful smile with a small shake of her head.

“Thanks, Schroeder, but I’m fine. They’re right. I chose to play so don’t be mad at them. Okay?” Schroeder could have said a million other things to them, but every mean bone in his body dissipated as quickly as it came by Lucy’s command. He pursed his lips and nodded. He stood with one fluid motion and offered her his hand. 

Lucy looked up at Schroeder with big, doe-like eyes. She glanced at his hand then back at him before reaching out and taking it. He pulled her behind him as they left the circle and back inside. He didn’t glance back or even offer a farewell as he whisked Lucy away from their prying eyes. 

“Where are we going?” Lucy shouted over the loud music. Schroeder huffed, “Somewhere more quiet and with fewer blockheads.” She didn’t resist him as he pulled her through the string of people and out the front door. Schroeder sighed as he shut the door behind them. He let go of Lucy’s hand and spun around to face her.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Schroeder questioned in a deadpan voice. Lucy chuckled and waved her palms in his face. Besides having a bit of dirt on them, they were practically unscathed.

“See? Perfectly fine. You worry too much, Schroeder.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

“Oh yeah?” Schroeder didn’t return her smile as he gestured to her knees with his head. “Then why are your knees all banged up?” Lucy quickly looked down and grimaced. Surely she saw the same bright red scratches that covered her knees as Schroeder did. Maybe even hiding under all that dirt was some blood.

“Oh.” Lucy nervously chuckled and dusted off her dirty knees. “Just a couple of scratches. Nothing that’ll kill me.” Schroeder grabbed her hands to stop her patting. He tsked when he noticed a smear of dry blood.

“Stop. Or are you purposefully trying to get dirt into those cuts?” Lucy opens her mouth to defend herself but is cut off when Schroeder rips the straw from his sleeves, throwing them to the ground. He turns around and bends over.

“Uh. What are you doing?” Schroeder huffed and glanced over his shoulder. 

“Get on my back. I’m not letting you walk home like that.” 

Lucy scoffed and crossed her arms. “I said I’m fine, Schroeder. It doesn’t even hurt.” She placed one hand on her hip, leaning into it, and immediately winced and stood up straight. Schroeder rolled his eyes.

“Uh huh, sure. If you think that hurts now, it’ll definitely hurt more when you start walking. Now stop being stubborn and get on.”

Lucy huffed and mumbled something incoherent but eventually leaned over his back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Schroeder easily scoops her up. He adjusts his hold on the back of her legs before walking. They pass by both Linus’ car and Charlie Brown’s.

“Wait. Are you planning to carry me all the way home?” 

“Uh, yeah? That was the plan.” Lucy wiggled frantically on Schroeder’s back, attempting to get down. He doesn’t let up but instead tightens his grip on her thighs.

“Schroeder! I thought you were just going to carry me inside! Do you know how far our houses are? That’s like a 30 minute walk! Put me down! I can drive us both home!” 

He scoffed and kept walking. Peppermint Patty’s music-thundering house was now far enough out of earshot. “You must think I’m an idiot if you think I’m letting either of us touch a steering wheel tonight. I think we both had too much to drink, no? Now keep still or you might end up falling and getting another injury.” Lucy huffed but ultimately obeyed. 

It’s silent for a few minutes, a chorus of crickets chirping around them. She then leaned forward and put her head on Schroeder’s back, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. Despite being at a party reeking of booze, a faint touch of florals still floated around her head. Schroeder’s heart began beating faster. He hoped that she couldn’t hear it.

“Are you tired yet? I’m getting heavy aren’t I?” He was thankful for her sudden outburst. His laughter rumbled through his chest, hopefully covering up his thundering heart. She flicked his temple. “What? Why are you laughing? I am heavy aren’t I?” 

Schroeder shook his head as his laughs calmed down to a chuckle. “Not at all. You’re lighter than a feather.” Lucy scoffed and propped her head up on his collar. Schroeder blocked out the feeling of her chest pressing against his back. He instead focused on her pouty lips from the corner of his vision.

“You’re just saying that to be polite. You’re just too nice to say it to my face.” Schroeder grew serious at her ashamed tone. He gently put her down and faced her. Lucy gave him the evil eye. 

Schroeder, who wasn’t having any of that, bent down to her level. He didn’t break eye contact as he said, “I’m not being polite. I’m being honest. Your weight feels like nothing.” Lucy raised a brow, not believing a word he was saying. He playfully rolled his eyes with a grin. “And I’m going to prove it to you.”

Schroeder swept her off her feet, literally. Lucy yelped as he put her in a bridal carry and continued walking. She wrapped her arms around Schroeder’s neck out of reflex and gave him a look of disbelief. 

He looked down at her, a cocky grin still on his face. “Believe me now?” 

Lucy’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly before she pursed them into a straight line, choosing to stay silent. She then buried her face into Schroeder’s chest and whispered with just as much attitude, “I believe you’re an idiot.”

This made Schroeder smile. The remainder of their walk is spent in comfortable silence.

Their journey across town eventually comes to an end when they reach the van Pelt’s quiet household. It was past midnight and all the lights were off, including the porch light. Lucy’s feet touch the ground for the first time since the beginning of their walk and a pang of disappointment flared in Schroeder’s chest. 

Time seemed to stand still, just as Schroeder was standing in front of Lucy. She smoothed her dress down before looking up at him. 

“Thank you. For standing up for me and for carrying me all the way home. I really appreciate it, Schroeder.”

Schroeder chuckled dryly as he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly bashful. “Like I said before, it really was no problem. I just did what I thought was right.” Lucy nodded and looked down at the ground. 

“You wanted to play spin-the-bottle but you didn’t get your kiss. You left early because of me.” Her voice is soft, her tone shedding a bit of shame. Schroeder had to careen his head in order to hear her. He smiled sadly.

“I don’t care about that, Lucy. I wouldn’t force you to do anything that you weren’t comfortable with. Game or not.” He added lighter than a whisper, “Plus, I didn’t want to kiss anyone else there anyways.” I only wanted you, Lucy van Pelt. If I kissed any other girl there, I only would have imagined it to be you instead.

Lucy didn’t say anything. The moon was hiding behind clothes on this Halloween night, successfully shielding her face. She then stood on her tiptoes and planted a long kiss on Schroeder's painted nose. He’s frozen still, as if kissed by Medusa herself, as Lucy opens the front door. 

“Goodnight, Schroeder,” is all she says as she slowly closes the door behind her. Schroeder stands in the darkness of the van Pelt’s porch for a good minute before finally turning around to leave. He blanks out the entire walk home, completely lost in the memory of Lucy’s lips on his face. 

Schroeder doesn’t come to until he’s already home, showered, and in bed. When he closed his eyes, he dreamed. He dreamt of the magical city of Oz and of a Dorothy that looks like Lucy van Pelt. She kisses him full on the lips and Schroeder never wants to wake up.

Chapter Text

“Everyone’s talking about it, man!” Schroeder rolled his eyes as he bit into his apple. 

“Everyone? Really?” He questioned his best friend with a look of disbelief. Charlie Brown socked his shoulder.

“Okay. Maybe not everyone. But pretty much our entire grade knows about it.” 

Schroeder huffed, unimpressed, and bit into the apple again. “I think people should just mind their own business,” he grumbled grumpily. 

“Can you really blame them?” His friend shook his head to answer himself. “No. Because they saw how you stole her away at the party. Like- like you were her knight in shining armor or something.”

Schroeder shot him an incredulous look. “If Lucy is a damsel in distress, then so am I.” Because Schroeder was in much trouble as a storybook princess if he allowed his feelings for Lucy to grow beyond a crush.

Charlie sighed dreamily and sprawled out on the grass. He tucked his arms behind his head and stared at Schroeder mischievously.

“So when are you going to ask her out?”

Schroeder choked on his apple. He wiped his mouth before looking at his friend in absolute horror. 

“What?!”

Charlie Brown rolled his eyes. “Excuse my language, but did I fucking stutter? When are you,” he brought up one finger, “Schroeder, going to ask her,” he brought up his other pointer finger, “Lucy, out to be your girlfriend?” He finished his question by bringing his two fingers together. He dropped his hands onto his stomach and stared at Schroeder expectedly. 

Schroeder gave Charlie Brown a look as if he already knew the answer. “Um. Never?” 

Charlie shot up and screamed at Schroeder as if it was the end of the world. “Why not?!”

He laughed dryly as he saw his friend’s genuine reaction. “Why? What do you mean ‘why?’” Schroeder scoffed as he gestured towards the school building. “We’re pretty much halfway through the school year. That’s why. Or did you forget that I’m moving away after we graduate?” The cool November breeze drifted past, further solidifying Schroeder’s case. 

Charlie Brown shook his head, “So? Doesn’t that just mean you should just ask her out sooner? Before it’s too late?” 

Schroeder sighed. He leaned back against the oak tree. A couple months ago, he was thanking the tree for shielding him from the sun because it was too hot. Now, he was wishing the gaps between its leaves were a little wider so that the sun’s rays could warm the skin that the wind had chilled. 

He stared at his highschool and into the cafeteria. Lucy sat with Violet and Patty as per usual, chatting and laughing. Despite the incident at the party, Lucy quickly forgave the two girls. Schroeder wondered how he could have ever thought that girl was mean. She was practically a saint compared to his raging thoughts.

Schroeder smiled sadly as he responded, “I can’t, Charlie Brown. I want to but I can’t.”

Sensing the change of mood, Charlie Brown moved to sit next to Schroeder. “And why is that?” His voice is patient. Schroeder refused to look at his friend. He might cry if he did.

“Because of her.”

He saw him frown in the corner of his vision. “I don’t follow. If I know anything about romance, it looks like she likes you as much as you like her?” Schroeder shook his head.

“Maybe, but that’s not what I meant.” Schroeder paused as he watched Lucy laugh at something Patty said. He smiled and could almost hear the melodic sound in his mind. That’s when he realized for the first time, that maybe, the feelings he harbored for Lucy van Pelt was already beyond a mere school crush.

“I’m doing this for her . For her sake. What if- what if she has plans after graduation? Hell, I haven’t even asked her that myself. But what if she stays in town or what if she moves away like me? One thing is for certain, she’s not going to Juilliard with me.” Schroeder forced out a loud sigh to hide the cracking in his voice. 

“Let’s say I ask her out and because of some miracle she says yes. And in an even bigger miracle, we stay together and decide that we love each other. What if she changes those plans because of me? What if she has plans to move to—I don’t know—Europe to pursue photography or something? And then she goes out with me and decides to throw those big dreams away just to be with me? Meanwhile, I get to live out my dreams as a pianist in New York while she’s stuck doing a job she settles for? Or even worse, settles for a job that she hates? I- I can’t do that to her. I’ll never- how could I live with myself knowing she could have done so much more with her life without me?”

Schroeder is panting by the end of his speech. He cannot see the girl of his dreams anymore; he forces the glistening in his eyes to stay there. He swallows thickly. His throat was on fire, barbed wire coiled around his neck like a vice.

“I know it’s a big jump in logic. I don’t even know if we’d make it that far. But if you really think about it, someone’s probably already experienced that. I won’t be leaving it to chance. Not with Lucy. No way.”

Charlie Brown says nothing for a moment before lightly patting the same shoulder he had punched just a couple minutes ago. “I understand. If that’s what you think is best, then I’ll support your decision. I’m here for you, man.”

Schroeder turns to him and he cannot stop the tear that escapes his eye. He angrily swipes at it with a sniffle, chuckling.

“You’re my best friend, Charlie Brown. You know that?” Charlie Brown rolls his eyes playfully and nudges Schroeder lightly.

“I know, man. I’m like one of your only friends actually.” They laughed as the bells signals the end of lunch.

—

Schroeder typically never got sick. And if sickness ever did find him, like it did today, it would only happen once every year. His mother thanked his “strong German genes” for that but he supposed even Germans have to rest for a day. So his mother made him do just that, rest. 

Being confined to his bed all day, Schroeder felt restless. He was delirious, but his mind itched for something to do. His mom wouldn’t even let him touch the piano. He needed to practice. His recital was just a little over a months away.

Suddenly, his phone rang, rattling the desk it sat on. The ringing was so loud that he clutched the sides of his head. Was it always this loud? He ought to lower the volume setting on it. He groaned as the ringing didn’t stop. He sluggishly got out of bed and dragged himself over to the infernal object.

“Hello?” He answered groggily. No one spoke on the other end but he heard a shuffling. His patience was as thin as the layer of sweat on his forehead. He nearly went off at the caller until he heard who it was.

“Schroeder? Is that you?” Schroeder’s mouth slammed shut at the sound of Lucy’s confused voice. 

“Oh hey, Lucy. What’s up?” He tried to sound upbeat but ultimately failed when a cough ripped through his throat.

“Are you sick? You sound different. I almost thought I dialed the wrong number when you first picked up.” Schroeder let out a mix of a chuckle and a wheeze.

“Yeah. You’re definitely sick. I was calling to see why you weren’t at school today but I already have my answer.” Schroeder sniffled and rubbed his itchy nose.

“Sorry that I can’t tutor you today,” he apologized nasally. “At this rate, it’s going to be me needing the catching up.” Lucy chuckled.

“Probably, but that’s fine. I’ll hang up so that you can rest now. Okay?” Schroeder let out a pitiful whine that he otherwise wouldn’t have made if his body temperature wasn’t above 100.

His body further betrays him when he says, “But hearing your voice is already making me feel better.” 

Lucy burst out laughing and Schroeder felt his face get impossibly warmer. She then hangs up with a light-hearted, “You’re funny, Schroeder. I’ll check on you again tomorrow.”

Lucy did call him again tomorrow and the day after that. She made polite conversation by asking him things like “how are you” and “are you feeling any better.” Schroeder enjoyed receiving her calls but he despised how brief they were. He tried to elongate their conversation, but she would always cut it short claiming it was because “he needed to rest.”

Damn rest and damn this illness. Whatever it was, it had cruelly taken away three days with Lucy van Pelt.

On the fourth day, his fever finally disappeared, leaving him only with the after effects. He was weak, he was dizzy, he still had a cough, and his nose produced mucus like there was no tomorrow. His mother forced him to shower so that she could remove the sick from his room.

But she still wouldn’t let him touch the piano.

So even without the fever, Schroeder did the same thing he did all the other days: lay in bed. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point, bored from staring at his ceiling, because he woke up to a soft hand on his forehead.

“Mom?” Schroeder’s voice cracked, still laced with sleep. The hand retracted quickly when he spoke. He forced his heavy eyes open and sat up so quickly he lost vision. “Lucy?!”

“Eep!” Lucy leapt from the side of his bed and up onto her feet. He glanced at his clock. 10 p.m. What was Lucy doing at his house, in his room on top of that, so late at night? It looked like she had seen a ghost and Schroeder bet he had a similar look on his face.

Was another side effect of this illness hallucinations?

“Ah. I must be dreaming,” Schroeder mumbled as he slowly settled back into bed. He openly stared at the Lucy phantom with a content smile on his face. She blinked rapidly and stayed firmly rooted in place. He sighed dreamily, “You’re pretty even in my hallucinations.”

The Lucy in his room blushed and hid behind a curtain of hair. He tilted his head, attempting to get a better look at her but she was skillful in avoiding his gaze. Schroeder huffed in annoyance and set his head back on the pillow. The apparition doesn’t say anything. He continued staring at her even as she crept backwards out of the room. She doesn’t turn her back to him even as she steps out of his room and closes the door.

Schroeder pouted, disappointed that the beautiful hallucination went away. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Another wave of exhaustion hits him and he faintly hears an engine roar to life in his driveway before falling back asleep.

—

Charlie Brown shows up at his doorstep the following day, a stack of his missing assignments in tow. Schroeder is not quite back to 100% but at least his mom is releasing him from his quarantine sentence.

Schroeder locks himself in the music room. A scatter of papers and textbooks litter the floor around him. He could have sat comfortably at his desk or at the dining room table, but he’s desperate for the change of scenery. And desperate to be at least 5 feet from his beloved piano. 

He’s overwhelmed by the amount of work he has to do before next week rolls around. He dreaded the thought of wasting his weekend doing homework but he pushes himself to focus. For Juilliard and the scholarship, Schroeder tells himself as encouragement. He tackles the assignments one-by-one. He started with what he deemed to be the easiest then moved onto assigned reading, so on and so forth.

Finally, he reached the brunt of the work, four days worth of new calculus topics. Schroeder tried understanding the explanations written in the textbook—he really did—but it was all the same gibberish to him. He groaned and put his head in his hands.

He’s so screwed for Monday.

There was a knock at the door. Schroeder put a pause on his wallowing to go answer. Thinking it was his mom, he only opens the door a crack.

“I’m really busy mom-” He stops when he realizes it’s, in fact, not his mother but Lucy. She blinks at him and tilts her head. 

“Why do you keep mistaking me for your mom?”

Schroeder’s eyes widened. Flashbacks of his late night hallucinations came rushing back to him. He blushed. “Lucy, hi. Erm. What are you doing here?”

Lucy shuffled nervously. She raised a brow. “It’s Saturday.” I’m here for your driving lessons.

Schroeder made an “o” shape with his mouth. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “About that.” He let the door open all the way with a dramatic creak. 

“Oh,” is all Lucy said as she spotted the book and paper-strewn floor. 

“Yeah,” Schroeder replied with a tired sigh. “Charlie Brown came earlier to drop off all the work I missed. And so I guess that means I need to miss our Saturday driving lesson.” Lucy hummed in understanding.

“I figured. You did pretty much miss a whole week of school.” Schroeder smiled sadly and nodded. It sucked that school would be interfering with his time with- Lucy pushed past Schroeder and into the music room. He stood by the door, watching in stunned confusion, as Lucy made herself comfortable on the hardwood floor. She gracefully tucked her legs to her side and fixed her dress.

“What are you doing?” 

Lucy looked up at Schroeder with doe eyes. “You might be too busy with schoolwork to drive but that doesn’t mean I still can’t help you,” she replied simply in a matter-of-fact tone. Schroeder stayed firmly at the door.

“It’s okay, Lucy. You shouldn’t have to spend your Saturday being cooped up doing homework-”

She cuts him off, “Oh, but I insist. Aren’t you the one who said that I’d have to be the one doing the teaching?” 

“No. Well- I may have said something like that but I merely said it as a joke. You really don’t have to-” Lucy rolled her eyes and patted the floor next to her.

“I’m already here, Schroeder. Or are you really going to send me back five minutes of me being here?” 

No, of course not, Schroeder said in his head. He nodded blankly, accepting defeat, and closed the door to the music room. He made his way over to Lucy and sat obediently. She was currently examining the little work he had already done. She squinted as she skimmed his numbers with palpable scrutiny. He was oddly intimidated by her even though she wasn’t exactly staring at him.

Lucy clicked her tongue. “Yeah, no. This is all wrong.” She changed positions to where she was laying on her stomach. She didn’t look at Schroeder, eyes glued to the textbook, as she opened her palm. “Eraser.” He quickly fetched her his eraser and she began erasing his entire page of work.

As she did so, Schroeder couldn’t stop his eyes from roaming down her body. Her black hair cascaded down her back, the volume causing some of it to spill over her shoulders. She wore a simple marigold dress with white stockings. At some point in lying down, she had taken off her heels. She crossed her ankles and dangled them up in the air carelessly. 

Another run down of her body and Schroeder noticed the way her dress stopped at her mid thighs. She began swinging her feet and he watched in boyish fascination as her muscles rippled through her stockings. He forced himself to look away.

She’s just laying down. Show her some respect, Schroeder scolded himself. Still, he couldn’t help but be mesmerized. She was so effortlessly beautiful and she didn’t even know it.

“Okay. Let’s get started,” Lucy suddenly announced, snapping Schroeder out of his teenage fantasies. Schroeder positioned himself next to her in a way so he couldn’t see her body, just her face.

“So this week we mostly did integrals and continuity. Let’s start on number one.” 

Schroeder then zoned out. He didn’t hear a word she said. All he could focus on was her face. The way the area between her eyebrows creased when she went over something particularly important. The way her nose wrinkled when discussing a topic she disliked. And the highlight of it all, the movement of her lips. 

She didn’t wear any lipstick today. Schroeder noticed that right away. One of the many things he’s discovered about Lucy van Pelt since she came back was her avid use of lipsticks. Her lips never stayed a consistent shade. 

Her natural shade, to Schroeder’s interest, was a dusty pink that grew darker in color the closer he went to the center of her mouth. Heat rose from his neck to his face when her tongue darted out to whet her lips.

Those lips stopped moving and formed a straight line. Schroeder’s gaze moved up from her mouth to her eyes that were looking right at him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she admonished, her voice as smooth as velvet. Schroeder watched in curious fascination when her pupils dilated. He licked his own lips. His mouth suddenly felt very dry. When did her face get so close?

“Look at you like what?” Schroeder questioned mindlessly. His mind was in tatters, his fantasies of kissing Lucy running rampant. Kiss her, the Lucy Corner of his brain screamed, Kiss her and memorize how they feel on yours. Temptation brought his gaze down to those lips and back to her eyes. 

Lucy, whether it was because of her stubborn nature or for other impossible reasons, didn’t back away. Her lips parted as she stared at him with a look he only imagined she gave him in his dreams. 

Was Charlie Brown right? Could she want Schroeder as much as he desired her?

“I’m doing this for her.”

That reckless urge evaporated when the logical side of his brain retook the reins. It steered Schroeder away from an action that would cause irreparable damage. He pretended to cough, looking the other way.

Holy crap, he nearly just kissed Lucy van Pelt.

“Sorry. Can you repeat what you just said? I wasn’t paying attention,” Schroeder said lamely. He thanked God that his voice was back to normal. 

Lucy blinked repeatedly. The corner of her mouth turned the slightest bit down. Schroeder wouldn’t have noticed it if they weren’t sitting so closely. Before he can ask her what’s wrong she scoffed and turned away. She stared at the textbook once more.

“Fine, but pay attention this time. I won’t repeat myself again.”

—

It’s nearly dinner time by the time Schroeder is finished with all his homework. It may have taken the whole day, but at least that meant he still had the Sunday of his weekend. Lucy tidied up the remainder of eraser shavings and used scratch paper before standing up with a stretch.

“Thanks for helping me, Lucy. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t stopped by,” he said honestly as he zipped up his school bag. Lucy made a noise of acknowledgment. Schroeder led her out of the music room and into the adjoining hallway. He could smell his mom cooking.

Schroeder stopped Lucy before they reached the front door. Lucy openly glared at his hand on her wrist before Schroeder snatched it away with an apology. She huffed in annoyance. Boy, was she crabby. Maybe she was upset with him for wasting her Saturday? He decided to test the waters, “Do you want to stay for dinner? I’m sure my mother wouldn’t mind.”

Lucy looked at him and averted her gaze with a frown. “No, thank you. I’m in charge of cooking tonight so I need to go before my parents throw a fit.” 

“Ah. I see,” Schroeder responded as he shoved his hands in his jean pockets. He tried not to sound too disappointed and gave her a small smile. “Are you busy tomorrow? If you’re free, maybe we could reschedule my driving lesson.” 

He crossed his fingers; he was hopeful. Lucy pondered over the suggestion for a second before shrugging nonchalantly.

“Sure. We could squeeze in a mini lesson right after church. I’ll take a separate ride from my family and you can try driving my car for once around town. Sounds good?”

He nodded eagerly. Any moment she could spare, Schroeder would take with gratitude.

—

The church bells rang at the end of mass. Schroeder immediately excused himself from the church choir ensemble. He peeked over the wooden rafters, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of Lucy. When he didn’t, he darted down the church’s winding staircase to the main floor.

Ever since the previous organist moved away, Schroeder has been in charge of playing the organ during mass. The priest had assumed that since he played the piano, he could play the organ too. His logic was horribly misplaced but Schroeder learned how to play the organ anyways. Because who says no to a priest?

It’s a small town, so about everyone he knew was in the sea of pews. He moved fluidly down the aisle and refused to make eye contact. One wrong move and he might miss Lucy. 

He stared at his shiny dress shoes until he made it safely out of the building. He sighed in relief, loosened his tie, and sat at the edge of the curb. The air outside was refreshing after being in a crowded building filled with candle smoke. He watched as church-goers loaded into their cars. 

Schroeder scanned the lot for Linus’ car but it wasn’t there. Either Lucy’s family didn’t attend church today or she had left early. His heart sank in disappointment. He was looking forward to their lesson since the night prior.

A curtain of black hair covered his vision of the parking lot. He followed the ends of it, and when he had to lift his chin up, he was met with Lucy’s curious face. She was off standing to the side. She was leaning over with her head tilted, resulting in the cascade of hair currently in front of his face. 

Schroeder jumped slightly and clutched his heart from fright. “Jesus!”

Lucy chuckled and moved to sit next to him. She folded in on herself and put her chin on her knees. “Yup. That’s who we were just praying to.”

Schroeder gathered himself and looked at her. She was wearing her Sunday best just as he was. He suddenly felt silly asking for driving lessons right after church.

“I didn’t see your brother’s car. I almost thought you wouldn’t show.” Speaking of-

”See ya, sis. Don’t crash dad’s car.” Her brother, Linus, came up from behind and ruffled up her pristine hair. He ditched his usual leather jacket and ripped up jeans for a simple plaid two-piece. Schroeder was surprised to see that even a greaser like Linus could tidy up for mass. 

A car filled with Linus’ friends honked obnoxiously from across the street. The driver rolled down the window and yelled for him to hurry up.

Lucy groaned and rolled her eyes, fixing her hair. “Bye, Linus,” she bit back with clenched teeth. Her brother chuckled and shot back a cheeky grin. Linus then eyed Schroeder up and down suspiciously. He scoffed.

“Schroeder,” is all Linus offered as a greeting before jogging away. Schroeder gulped nervously. What the hell did I do to him?  

Linus crosses the street without looking, causing a car to hard break and smash their horn at him. Linus flips off the random driver before hopping into the car full of greasers. They speed away, completely ignoring the speed limit. It was like a scene from a movie.

Lucy elbowed him. “You look pale. What’s wrong?” 

“Your brother is scary,” Schroeder said honestly. Lucy burst into laughter and pushed him. 

“You mean Linus? What on Earth for?” 

He looks at me the same way Charlie Brown looks at him. Like he would clobber me if I so much touch a hair on your head. Like he would kill me if he knew I nearly kissed you yesterday. Like he can see right through me.

Schroeder shrugged. “I don’t know. Just his whole persona is intimidating.” Lucy hummed in understanding before standing up. 

“Well, Mr. Scary Brother is gone now so it’s just you and me.” Just you and me. Lucy tugged Schroeder up on his feet and led him into the diminishing parking lot. She glanced over her shoulder. “Ready for your driving lesson?”

They approach a shiny silver sedan. It looked like it was just rubbed in baby oil with how glossy it was. Schroeder didn’t know much about cars as Charlie Brown did, but he could tell it was expensive. Schroeder chuckled nervously. “I guess.”

Lucy tossed him the keys and he caught them. He unlocks the vehicle and opens Lucy’s door before climbing into the driver’s seat. The seats were leather and it smelled like a new car. He could feel his palms get sweaty.

“Did your brother say this was your dad’s car? I don’t think I saw it in your driveway before.” Please don’t say it’s new. Please don’t say it’s new. Please don’t-

Lucy nodded as she put on her seatbelt. “Yeah. It’s new actually. Got it just this week.”

Sweet baby Jesus.

Schroeder nervously laughed as he gripped the steering wheel with a new strength. “Oh. Cool. It’s a nice car.”

“Yep.”

Schroeder exited the parking lot with more care than he did with his own new car. His mind went on a tangent of “what-ifs.” What if he crashed the new whip? What if Lucy got hurt because of his bad driving? What if Linus beat him to death when he finds out Schroeder sent his sister to the hospital? What if their dad joined in? Or worse, her grandmother?

He went on autopilot for the next five minutes, nearly autopiloting into another car after not stopping at a stop sign. He luckily breaks in time before all his nightmares come true. Lucy gasped from the passenger’s seat and grasped Schroeder’s bicep, telling him to not let his foot off the break. She turns on the hazard sign and the cars behind them drive around their stalled vehicle.

“Okay. Maybe you’re not ready for in-town driving.” Schroeder grimaced but didn’t disagree. He was too lost in his head from what happened yesterday, to her brother’s odd behavior, and to driving her dad’s new car to be focused. 

Lucy looked at him with worried eyes. He hated it. “Do you think you can pull up to the mall so we can switch? It’s just a couple blocks down.” Schroeder nodded wordlessly and began driving again. Lucy left the blinkers on.

When they arrived at the mall, Schroeder parked at the very back to avoid parking near other cars. Lucy got out of the car before Schroeder could do it for her. He unbuckled his seatbelt with a heavy sigh and begrudgingly got out. He had made a fool out of himself.

“Keys,” Lucy demanded with an open palm. Schroeder dropped them in her hand. Lucy kept her eyes on him as she went up to the driver’s side door and locked it. He raised a brow.

“Are you planning that we walk home?” He joked, referencing the time he carried her home from the Halloween party. 

Lucy snorted and shook her head. “In the church shoes I still haven’t broken in yet? Absolutely not. But I’m hungry so let’s grab a bite to eat before we head home.” Lucy grabbed Schroeder’s wrist and forced him along. He chuckled and curiously looked at the shoes rubbing against her ankles.

“But you’d be okay walking around the mall in them?” Lucy stopped in her tracks and spun around. She let go of him to cross her arms. She raised a brow.

“Are you not hungry, Schroeder?” He opened his mouth in retaliation, but the growling of his stomach replied for him. He blushed. Lucy didn’t bully him as she once would. Instead, she giggled and wagged a finger, gesturing for him to follow her. “Come, Schroeder.”

Schroeder followed her helplessly through the parking lot. She was walking so fast that he had to initially jog up to catch up to her. 

They entered the mall and Schroeder sharply inhaled at how busy it was. It was a Sunday after church afterall; many people must have had a similar idea in eating lunch out instead of cooking at home. They walked to the food court and it was just as busy. Lucy clapped her hands together and looked to Schroeder.

“So… what do you want to eat?” 

“Are you craving something?” 

Lucy shook her head with an innocent smile. “Nothing in particular, no.”

Schroeder hummed and scanned the area. He spotted the burger joint he and Peppermint Patty ate at last time.

“Do you want burgers?” Lucy made a disgusted face.

“Bleh. Too greasy.” That’s what I thought so too. Schroeder smiled at having similar tastes.

“There’s Chinese food?”

“Hmm. Not really feeling fried rice right now.”

“A deli sandwich?” The unimpressed look she reacted with told him all he needed to know. Crap, were all girls this indecisive? He was running out of options. Schroeder didn’t want to complain so he said, “Okay. Um- Give me a second to think what else is here.”

Lucy tugged at his sleeve and pointed at something. “What about that place? I don’t think it was here when I moved.”

Schroeder turned to where she was pointing and stilled. At the end of her finger was an Italian restaurant. She was right, that place was new, just about 3 years old. And ever since its grand opening, it had been one of the hottest places to go on a date.

It was a decently sized restaurant tucked away in the back of the food court. That made it perfect for couples who wanted their privacy. It wasn’t “private” enough though because once two people were spotted together there, their relationship was pretty much the talk of the school. 

Schroeder had only eaten there once with people and it was with his family. The second time he grabbed takeout. And the third time… well- that would be now if he couldn’t change Lucy’s mind.

“Oh, that place. Are you sure? I mean- are you sure Italian is what you want?” 

Lucy beamed. “Yes! Italian sounds sooo good right now. Let’s go!” Schroeder is once again helpless when Lucy drags him to the establishment and through their doors. 

“Table for uh- two please,” Schroeder nervously states, throwing up a deuce to the employee.

The dim lighting immediately differentiates the restaurant from the food court beyond. The waiter, luckily someone Schroeder did not know, sat them down at a two seater booth. He let Lucy choose her seat—not that it mattered because this was not a date—and took the seat opposite. He served them iced lemon water and handed over two menus. Lucy eagerly accepted them, handing one to Schroeder.

 Then, the waiter in his fancy suit lit the tea candle at their table and walked away. “Ooo. Fancy,” Lucy giggled as she stared at the candle flickering between them. The small flame danced warmly across her face as she flipped through the menu. She flipped through the booklet several times. Then, she looked up and his breath caught in his throat.

Her eyes were lighter in candlelight. So light they were hazel instead of their usual rich dark chocolate. Everytime the flame would jump, her irises would sparkle like precious gemstones. 

“What?” Schroeder said dumbly when Lucy asked something. She rolled her eyes and leaned forward, her forearms resting on the table.

“I said, what do you normally order here?” 

“The spaghetti.” Lucy made a tiny sound, pfft. Her cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk’s as she covered her mouth. Schroeder’s brows knitted together. “What’s so funny?”

Lucy smirked. “I’m curious, Schroeder. How old are you now?” 

“Eighteen. Nineteen in January.” 

She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms, a smirk still evident on her face. Schroeder finally understood her jest and he rolled his eyes playfully. “Haha. Yes, very funny, Lucy. I’m eighteen and still eat spaghetti off the kid’s menu.” 

Lucy giggled, reached over, and patted his arm slowly. She was patronizing him. He jokingly swatted her hand away.

“Fine,” Schroeder said defiantly, “I’ll order something different today.” 

In perfect timing, the waiter comes back to take their orders. She was still smirking at him when she said, “Oh, you don’t have to.” Schroeder chuckled and flipped to a random page in the menu.

“No, no. Here. I’ll have the Linguine with Clam Sauce please.” He snapped the booklet shut and shot Lucy a proud look. She rolled her eyes before ordering a house salad. When the waiter left, Schroeder gave her a questioning look.

“I thought you said you were hungry? Why order only a salad?” Schroeder spots a blush growing on the apples of her cheeks but it’s hard to tell with the lighting. She raised her hands up defensively.

“Ah, I’ve been caught. I’m not hungry. I thought you were the one that was hungry with the way you were driving. So, I made us stop here so that you have the brainpower to drive us home.” She stared at him innocently as she sipped on her water. Schroeder groaned and rubbed at his temples. He’d been played.

“Oh, don’t be upset! If it makes you feel any better, I’m happy I get to have lunch with you?” Schroeder peeked from between his massaging hand. Lucy was happy to be having lunch with me? He raised a brow, a smile fighting its way to his lips. 

“Really?” He made Lucy roll her eyes for the third time today. That’s a record.

“No. Yes, you blockhead! If I didn’t I would have just made us get takeout but now it’s like we’re on a- Ahem. Now it’s a proper lunch.” She corrected herself. She quickly averted her gaze and mindlessly traced the rim of her cup. Schroeder has no time to process what she was going to say when their food arrives. 

“That was quick! Let’s eat.”

So they eat and don’t speak. Schroeder was pleasantly surprised that he liked his order. He was the type of person to order one dish and stick with it. Don’t change something that isn’t broken, was his motto when it came to food. Lucy giggled as she watched him slurp up the final bits of pasta and clam.

“See, Schroeder? Change can be scary, but sometimes change can be a good thing.” Her eyes lit up again, this time not because of the candle. “Like a rainbow after the rain or… a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.”

He knew that she was just making a joke about his picky eating, but Schroeder contemplated her words on a deeper level. Change, huh?

“Lucy.”

She looked up from her salad bowl. “Hmm?” 

“What are your plans after highschool?” His question was not anticipated by Lucy in the slightest. Her eyes widened and she carefully put the fork down. A deep frown settled on her mouth that made Schroeder’s chest tighten with guilt. “I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized, “That was a random and personal question. You don’t have to-”

“It’s not,” she cut off. She sighed as she shyly glanced at Schroeder. “It’s not a personal question, Schroeder. There’s no reason for me to not tell you. I’m just… a little embarrassed by it. Maybe even a bit scared.” Schroeder leaned forward subconsciously, already invested in what she had to say. He’s grateful that he doesn’t have to ask her to elaborate.

“Remember how I used to charge a nickel at that little lemonade booth? For doctor’s advice?” Schroeder nodded and smiled at a memory resurfacing. He recalled giving Lucy a nickel once—only to entertain her—and she “advised” him to marry her. He never asked for advice again. Adult Lucy did not have the same reminiscent look as Adult Schroeder. “I want to be a psychiatrist. Like, a real one.”

Schroeder’s smile grew wider. He imagined Lucy in a white doctor’s jacket, her hair tied up neatly. Dr. Lucy van Pelt. The title was sweet in his mouth. “Wow. That’s great, Lucy.” She desperately shook her head in disagreement. 

“No. No, it’s not.” He frowned. Dr. Lucy with her white coat disappeared from his vision.

“Okay. Why is this career choice of yours not a great one?” Wasn’t the medical field a respected profession? He’d need more context on what was churning in Lucy’s brain. 

Her lips formed a straight line. She stared at Schroeder with a deadpan expression. “Have you ever seen a female doctor?” Yes, there was a T.V. show his mother liked to watch while she cooked that starred a female character in the emergency room. Schroeder opened his mouth but she held up her hand. “In real life?” His mouth shut as quickly as it opened. She nodded grimly and slumped into her seat. “Exactly.”

“Hey, now.” Schroeder sat up, determined. The candle dimmed. “Just because I haven’t seen one doesn’t mean there isn’t one. I’m sure there were tons in the city where you lived. We just don’t need a lot of doctors in this small town.” Lucy scoffed.

“Yeah, you’re right. There were plenty back in the city.”

“Was there not?”

“No! Of course there weren’t!” Schroeder shrinked away from her, alarmed at the sudden raise of her voice. She realizes her mistake and apologizes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. There are female doctors. They exist. They aren’t unicorns. It’s just- I just.” She sighed heavily. “I just don’t think I got what it takes to become one.”

Schroeder heard many things absurd enough for him to do a double take. The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown getting a card on Valentine’s Day, him having a crush on Frieda. But the notion of Lucy van Pelt becoming a doctor was not on that list.

“Are you kidding?” His confusion is so sincere, it has Lucy looking at him. He stood from his seat and squished himself beside her. He wanted to make sure she heard this. He was afraid that the candle might snuff out his sincerity. “What makes you think that you can’t do it? You do know that you’re one of the smartest students in our grade, right? The second as of right now actually!” He shoved two fingers in front of her face and waved it. She was only the second because the first was Marcie. 

Lucy shoved the number two away with a grunt. “Yeah. Salutatorian in a graduating class of less than two hundred! Big deal!” Schroeder’s brows furrowed.

“So?” Lucy raised her hands exasperatedly.

“When I was in the city, my class size was over six hundred! Maybe even more! And even though I’m considered smart here, my class rank over there was still only ranging in the low three hundredths. In the city, there’s sons and daughters of world-renowned scientists, engineers, doctors, artists, pianists; you name it. Geniuses like you who thrive in a hub of intellect and ingenuity. But for a person like me to want-” She scoffed. Sitting this close, Schroeder could see the tears brimming at her water line. “I’m just above average, Schroeder. That makes me even less special than someone who’s an utter idiot. And to make it even worse, I’m a woman competing in that space.”

Her confession was like a slap to the face. Schroeder always considered his admission into Juilliard to be a result of his hard work and practice. And for the most part, it had to be. But then he tried to imagine if he was Lucy or simply a female version of himself. Would he still have made it into Juilliard? Would the blood, sweat, and tears he put in the past ten years be enough or would he have to work even harder if he was a girl? 

He can’t recall the last time he played a piece composed by a woman.

The thought of having his passion for the piano be rejected simply for having a different anatomy was gut wrenching. It was impossible for him to comprehend. 

She looked away but not fast enough for Schroeder to miss the tear drop that fell to her cheek.

“Oh, Lucy.” He stopped thinking and hugged her. He pushed away his complicated feelings for her and hugged her as someone who also wanted to pursue their passion. Lucy van Pelt was a fellow dreamer.

“Don’t give up on that dream, Lucy. It’s a beautiful and wonderful dream. People and society will get in the way, but your biggest enemy will always be yourself. The stars are the limit but sometimes, you just have to go up to those stars and pull them down yourself.”

At first, she’s stone in his embrace. It wasn’t until he gently pushed her head into his chest that she finally gave in. She wrapped her arms around him and she felt her nails dig into his sweater. Schroeder didn’t hear her cry, but the tiny tremors of her body was enough for him to pull her in even tighter. He hugged her as if a small wind might blow away her ambitions.

They stay like that until she’s ready and she pulls away on her own. She sniffles quietly and dabs her eyes with a napkin. She stares up at Schroeder with glossy eyes and a big smile.

“Thank you, Schroeder. I really needed to hear that.”

—

Schroeder sighed happily as he finished playing through his solo for the third time this afternoon. After a week of straight practicing thanks to—pun not intended—Thanksgiving Break, he finally memorized it all. His recital was next month and he finally felt as though he was ready. 

It was bittersweet thinking of his final high school performance. Charlie Brown and many of his other friends promised they would come to watch. It's been a while since they last saw him perform, so he was excited to see their reactions to his “Juilliard level” skill. Perhaps the next time they saw him perform, his name would be on a billboard sign.

Then, Schroeder imagined Lucy in the crowd. She’d sit somewhere in the middle, not too close to where Schroeder would get distracted but not too far where she’d not be able to see him. She would anxiously wait for his turn on stage. That tension would only grow when she opened the program to find his name at the very bottom. He was the grand finale as all seniors were before him.

He snaps out of his daydream to the home phone ringing. 

“I’ll get it!” He yells as he walks out of the music room and into the receiving hallway where the phone sat. He cleared his throat and picked up the phone. “Hello. This is Schroeder speaking.”

“Schroeder! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day!” Lucy’s stern voice bellowed from the other end. Schroeder blinked.

“You have? Sorry, Lucy. I’ve been practicing. I haven’t been in my room at all.” 

Lucy sighed. “It’s fine, Schroeder. Sorry for yelling, I’m just really stressed out.”

Schroeder scratched his head. “Stressed for what? It’s Thanksgiving Break?” He could imagine her eyes rolling from her room.

“Exactly. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, remember? I’m in charge of cooking every year. I was actually calling to invite you over for the feast tomorrow. That is, if you’re not busy.” 

Schroeder smiled and shook his head. “Thanksgiving is usually just me and my parents. I could eat dinner with them early and come to yours for a second plate?” He asked in a hopeful tone. Because how could he say no to a bite of Lucy’s cooking? Lucy made a noise of satisfaction.

“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow, Schroeder.” 

He hung up and went to eagerly tell his parents of his plans tomorrow night.

—

Schroeder was absolutely famished. He hadn’t had breakfast or lunch and he limited his dinner portions to a minuscule amount. He wanted to be hungry when he ate Lucy van Pelt’s food. Starving. She mentioned dinner as a “feast,” so wanted to eat as much of her cooking as he could stuff in his stomach. Anything less than would be a waste.

His hunger has him arriving at the van Pelt’s residence more than half an hour early. He tried to take his time walking but he swore he could smell the food radiating from her house from down the street.

All the downstairs lights of the van Pelt residence are on. A fourth car is in the driveway, it’s only a little less beat up than Charlie Brown’s car. Did they have relatives over? 

As Schroeder stood at the front porch, his palms grew sweaty. Nerves take over as his hand hovers shakily over the door bell. He could hear commotion inside. Would he be interrupting? He should just go back home. No. Lucy invited him over and he said yes. It would be rude to leave now. 

He sharply inhaled as he rang the bell. The loud chattering stops briefly and he can hear someone approach the door. The door swings open and Schroeder nearly pales when he sees Linus standing there, a grimace on his face.

“Oh. Hi, Linus,” Schroeder attempted at a greeting. Lucy’s brother doesn’t respond and leans on the doorframe, arms crossed. Maybe he should have left after all. He nervously stammered, “So. Um.”

Linus rolls his eyes with a hint of a smirk. “Let me guess, Lucy invited you?” Schroeder nodded. The greaser scoffs but opens the door wider, gesturing for him to enter. “Come on in, Beethoven. My sis is in the kitchen.” He snickers. Schroeder ignores the term of endearment as he leads him further into the house. 

They make a pit-stop in the living room where the van Pelt family gathered. Schroeder recognized Rerun and Mr. and Mrs. van Pelt but his brain faltered upon landing on the other two elderly people sitting on the couch. He put on his performance mask and smiled, greeting the people in the room. 

Rerun, in his rebellious preteen phase, gives him a disinterested wave, not looking away from the T.V. Mrs. van Pelt is as kind as ever and greets Schroeder with a polite hug and a kiss on the cheek. Her husband, slightly less friendly, grunts but nevertheless shakes Schroeder’s hand without saying anything. Then he turned to the two he’s never met before; he introduced himself as Lucy’s friend. He learns from Lucy’s mom that the two were her paternal grandparents. He makes an “o” with his mouth.

The old man stands up so shakily Schroeder thinks he might fall. The man shakes his hand and Schroeder is baffled at the man’s strong grip. He attempts to return that strength in favor. He plops back on the couch with an exhausted sigh. The old woman, presumably his wife, doesn’t stand to greet Schroeder. So this was the fearsome grandma that he’s heard all about. Her sunken eyes scan Schroeder’s body twice over before huffing and returning her attention to the television. 

Okay… Not the best start.

Schroeder jumps when a heavy hand slams onto his shoulder. Linus. “Don’t mind Granny. Her attitude is worse than Lucy’s. The kitchen is over there by the way.” He uses his chin to gesture towards the kitchen. Schroeder nods in thanks before excusing himself. 

The kitchen is a rage of smoke and steam. Lucy is in front of the filled stove, stirring a large pot. She doesn’t notice him entering the kitchen, her back still to him. He watches as she meticulously grabs a different spoon to mix another pot and then another. Then, she drops them and opens the oven. Another jet of steam pulses out. Schroeder takes a deep breath and immediately salivates.

“It smells really good in here.” Lucy jumps in surprise and nearly drops the turkey.

“Oh my god, Schroeder!” She scolds as she sets the turkey down on the counter, “You scared me you blockhead!” He chuckled and looked her up and down. Lucy was wearing a white apron over a blue dress. It reminded him an awfully lot like Alice in Wonderland.

“Sorry. Linus told me I could find you in here and you sure are cooking up a storm. Are you making all of the Thanksgiving dinner?” Lucy wiped her hands on the apron and turned back to the stove. She gave a taste test to one of the pots before rummaging through a cabinet.

“I thought I told you on the phone,” she said as she tossed some spices in. She gave it a stir, “I’m in charge of this year’s Thanksgiving. All of it.” She tasted the dish again and smiled. “Perfect.”

Schroeder hummed as he examined the state of the kitchen. The window in front of the sink was open, gradually letting the build up of steam to leave. So he wasn’t going crazy when he thought he smelled food outside earlier. “Seems like a lot of work. Your mom didn’t offer to help you?”

Lucy shook her head. “No, she did. I just refused her help.” Schroeder raised a brow.

“Why?” She turned off all the burners and faced him. Sweat gathered at her brow. Her cheeks were pink from labor and heat.

“Because I want everything tonight to be perfect. Everything will be perfect.” Perfect must be her favorite word today. Schroeder put his hands on his hips with a tiny grin.

“Surely me helping put the food onto plates will not make your cooking any less than ‘perfect,’ right?” Her mouth opened, already formed to say no. But then Lucy looked at the pots littering the stove and then at Schroeder. 

She bit her lip in contemplation. Schroeder wiggled his eyebrows and she chuckled, defeated. “Okay, fine. But you’re only going to transfer the ones on the stove. I’ll handle the turkey.”

Schroeder saluted and got to work. “Yes, chef!” This earned a giggle from Lucy. He fondly remembered the time Lucy made him play house with her. It was just like that now, preparing food together side by side. Except, back then she used fake toy food.

It took every fiber of his being to not sample the food he was plating. The mashed potatoes were fluffy like clouds. The cornbread was moist. The mac and cheese was creamy and extra cheesy. Everything looked delicious and that wasn’t even all of the dishes Lucy had prepared. 

“Great,” Lucy said while patting her hands dramatically. She removed her apron and tossed it to the side. “Do you mind putting everything on the table while I get changed? I smell like food.” 

Schroeder chuckled. “I think the whole house smells like food,” he joked but nodded. Lucy thanked him quickly and disappeared from the kitchen. When he enters the dining room, Lucy’s family is already sitting at the table. He carries the turkey out first and places it in the middle of the table, the rest scattered around it. By the time he carries the final dish, Lucy is already galloping down the stairs.

Lucy takes a seat next to him and gives him a warm smile. Schroeder returns it whole-heartidly. They say a prayer before digging in happily. Schroeder waits his turn, to his stomach’s dismay, and allows Lucy and her family to grab their servings first. When it’s finally his turn, he fills his plate to the brim with one of every dish before he can even blink.

He takes a bite out of the turkey first and nearly bursts into tears with how delicious it is. He swallows thickly and tries the mac and cheese. Heavenly. Then he samples the green beans and candied yams. Fantastic. He has to remind himself to chew properly.

Lucy lightly elbowed him and he almost forgot the chef herself was sitting right there. She’s holding back a grin and gracefully takes a bite of her mashed potatoes. How long had she been watching him? He embarrassingly swallows a mouthful of food as he stares at her.

“Is it good?”

Good? It was more than just “good.” He was convinced that Lucy could open up her own restaurant if she wanted to. Schroeder nods desperately. He would kiss each of her cooking-blessed knuckles if she demanded him to.

“Your cooking is as good as I remember, Lucy. Better, even. Thank you for inviting me,” Schroeder answered sincerely. Lucy hummed happily and nodded in reply. A proud look sparkled in her eyes.

Thanksgiving dinner with the van Pelts runs smoothly. Mrs. van Pelt makes sure to include Schroeder in the conversation, Lucy’s grandpa reminisces about the war and doesn’t seem to remember much of anything else, and Linus makes a jest every now and then. Schroeder laughs when Lucy laughs and all is well. That is, until Lucy’s mom informs her grandparents about him being a pianist.

Schroeder nods and dabs his mouth with his napkin, “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be attending Juilliard up in New York City in the fall. They offered me a full ride scholarship.” The boys of the family seem generally impressed, even Linus. Mr. van Pelt even makes a different sort of grunt, one that said “keep it up.”

Lucy’s grandmother, on the other hand, is a little more than disgruntled. Her voice rotten with years of smoking, she scoffed and gave a backhanded compliment. “A pianist? How delicate. Back in my day, real men were officers or went to war.”

Schroeder blinked rapidly in shock. She was more than vocal on her dislike for his chosen career choice. He didn’t know how to respond so he merely didn’t, but his body tensed up with anger and humiliation. He was a guest in their home. He did not want to make a scene even if it meant his pride and joy was being poked at.

Underneath the table, Lucy grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He looked at her in disbelief. This was the first time they had ever held hands in this manner. Underneath the table while her family had no clue. It felt intimate. Personal. 

She gave him an apologetic smile that screamed “I’m sorry.” Schroeder shook his head and squeezed her hand back. Don’t worry. This is nothing, his grin told her. A hand slammed onto the table and both of them stared at her grandma incredulously. She was standing now, wobbly on her own two feet as she pointed a wrinkled old finger at Schroeder.

“No granddaughter of mine will marry a fanny.” 

Schroeder’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly. His brows knit closely together. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He had never been called a slur for playing the piano before. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to say anything. Lucy lets go of his hand and darts up.

“Oh, shut it you old hag! War this, war that. God, I’m sick of it!”

Schroeder’s mouth fell slack as did the rest of the family’s. He stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Lucy-”

She slapped his hand away and glared at him. “If you won’t defend yourself, then I will.” Schroeder closed his mouth and awkwardly released her. She turned back to her grandmother, seething.

“I am the one who made this dinner. Me,” she jabbed her chest, “That makes Schroeder my guest so you, other guest, have no right to disrespect him in front of me even if you are my own grandmother. Schroeder is not what you just called him and he is an excellent pianist. And for the record, we are not even dating, let alone married. But if we were, his choice in career is something I would brag about, not something I would belittle because I’m not some war-addicted geezer like you. So just be quiet and eat your dinner. And you’re welcome.” Lucy ends it with a scoff. She sits back down, dragging Schroeder with her, and resumes eating her food like nothing happened. 

Her grandmother is paralyzed with shock as she plops back in her seat like a toddler who’s just been scolded. Linus snorts and looks genuinely pleased at what just unfolded; it didn’t seem like he liked his grandmother all too much anyways given he was a greaser. Her grandfather doesn’t scold her or even realize he exists and even receives a nod of approval from her father. Mrs. van Pelt apologizes to Schroeder on her mother-in-law’s behalf. He nodded absentmindedly.

Was this normal? Is this what having a big family was like? If so, he was thankful for his family keeping it small.

The rest of dinner is sat in, surprisingly, comfortable silence. When everyone is finished, the adults flood into the living room as Linus and Rerun collect dishes to wash. Lucy drags Schroeder out of the dining room and out of the house. She closes the door behind them and lets out a heavy sigh.

“I’m so sorry, Schroeder. Granny is a piece of work. Please don’t let her words get to you.” Lucy looks terribly remorseful and Schroeder decides to lighten the mood.

“Fanny? Y’know what, I’ve never been called that before. Do you think I’m a fanny, Lucy?” Lucy shoves him with a laugh and Schroeder chuckles as he regains his balance. Lucy looks away and tucks a piece of hair behind her ears.

“No, you idiot. I don’t think you are.” 

“But you think I’m an excellent pianist worth bragging about?” He questions with a grin.

Lucy rolls her eyes and sits down on the porch. Schroeder follows. She hugs herself, tucking her chin into her knees. She doesn’t look at him when she asks solemnly, “Why didn’t you defend yourself?”

Schroeder shrugged. “I don’t know. For lots of reasons. I didn’t want to cause a scene. She’s your grandmother. I don’t want to look disrespectful in front of your parents.” He could go on and on, but the real reason was because he didn’t want to disappoint Lucy with his response. She made a sound of resignation and turned her head to look at Schroeder.

“Schroeder, I don’t care if it was my own mother disrespecting you. I want you to defend yourself.” He chuckled and gave her a thumbs up.

“Okay. With your permission, I will defend myself the next time your grandmother calls me out.” 

Lucy scoffed and then leaned back on her palms. “There won’t be a next time. She’s not invited to any more Thanksgivings here in town. I’ll make sure of it.” 

Schroeder copied her position. The November night was chilly, but the warmth in their stomachs would keep them comfortable. The moon painted shadows on Lucy’s face that made her equally mesmerizing and terrifying.

“Thank you though, Lucy. For defending me. I thought you were really cool.” Lucy giggled.

“You think I’m just ‘cool?’” She said teasingly, emphasizing the word. Schroeder chuckled and shook his head.

“No. I think you’re a lot of things, Lucy.” She raised a brow.

“Like?” Her eyes glimmered. Schroeder sighed and averted his eyes. Her gaze was too intimidating to stare at straight on. 

“Like, I think you’re incredibly intelligent but you already knew that. Our tutoring lessons have turned more into normal homework sessions if you ask me.”

She leaned in, intrigued. “Go on.”

Schroeder gulped at her closeness but didn’t dare move. “I think you’re kind. I think you’re funny. I think you’re overall fun to be around.” Lucy nodded and batted her eyes up at him.

“Anything else?”

“I like how you’re unapologetically yourself. I like your cooking.  I like the way you write. I like the sound of your laugh more than the sounds of my piano.” Schroeder is breathless as Lucy moves in closer. She gives him a look of warning as if to say “stop me if you don’t like it.” He doesn’t stop her. Schroeder stares at her lips and prays that he might have the luxury to taste them soon.

“Is that all?” She asks, her voice soft and sultry. Schroeder gulps and he feels the unbearable heat on his face that courses through his body. He can feel her breath fan his lips by how close she is. 

Schroeder holds his breath when he admits, “You’re beautiful, Lucy van Pelt. I think,” he pauses. Schroeder gently touches her cheek with his knuckle. He’s careful to be delicate, afraid that one wrong move might scare her away. She sighs as her eyes flutter closed. Schroeder leans in impossibly closer, their lips only a centimeter from touching. “I think I might-”

“Lucy! Are you out here?” Linus’ voice from the front door scares the two apart. Schroeder pants from the adrenaline. His mind is reeling from what just happened. Holy fuck, did we almost just kiss? And didn’t it seem like she wanted to? He recalled her leaning in, her breath on his lips, and the fluttering of her eyes. He was no expert when it came to girls, but he’s 100% sure that he wasn’t just imagining that.

Her eyes are wide and she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear. Her voice is shaky when she calls out, “Yeah! I’m here!” Linus peeks his head further outside and spots them on the patio. 

He squints at them suspiciously. “Why the hell do you two look like you just ran a marathon?” Schroeder blushes and rubs the back of his neck while. Lucy groans.

“What do you want, Linus?” 

“Rerun wants the last piece of the sweet potato pie. He knows you like it too so he wanted me to ask if it was okay to eat it.” Schroeder inwardly groaned. Was he just cucked by a sweet potato pie? Lucy rolls her eyes and stands up. She crosses her arms. 

“He can have it. I really don’t care.” 

“Cool.” Linus snaps his fingers and walks away. He glances behind his shoulder and shoots Schroeder a weird look. 

“Hey, so-” Lucy turns to him and he just wants to die. She looks so disappointed but she’s trying so hard to hide the fact. He’d probably find the same expression on his face if he looked in a mirror. “I should head home, Lucy. I appreciate you inviting me over. Your cooking was delicious.” 

Lucy’s shoulders sag but she nods in agreement. “Yeah. It’s getting pretty late. You should spend time with your parents too.”

Schroeder nods in response and hesitantly walks down her driveway. He spins around to say a simple “goodnight,” but Lucy is already gone and through the door. 

As Schroeder walked back home, he thought to himself, What the fuck have I done?

Chapter Text

Schroeder layed in bed watching his phone ring all Friday long. He wanted to answer it. He should answer it. But he knew who waited on the other end of the line.

Lucy.

He couldn’t face her. Not yet. Not like this.

He was embarrassed. He was overwhelmed. But most of all, he was confused.

His mind was still reeling from their moment on the porch. It was obviously a mistake. A huge mistake. He just wasn’t sure yet if that mistake was or was not trying to kiss her.

He let the phone continue to ring.

—

Schroeder’s heart beat like a drum as the line rang. Click.

“Hello?”

Here goes nothing. Schroeder coughed and said, “Hey, Lucy.” 

There was silence on the other end. There was no shuffling. No siblings yelling in the background. Just pure silence. He couldn’t even hear her breathing.

Schroeder rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He tried to sound calm when he asked if anyone was still there. A light sigh, like she was holding the phone away from her mouth.

“Yes, Schroeder. I’m still here. Did you need something?” She replied, her tone clipped.

Schroeder swallowed. The plastic phone grew slippery between his palm. He swapped hands and frantically wiped his hand on his pants.

“Sorry for uh- bothering you. I was wondering when you were showing up for my driving lessons today?” A dry chuckle.

“You’ve ignored my calls all day yesterday and now you’re asking me for lessons? Really, Schroeder?” He slapped his forehead and winced. Why would he think that Lucy would let that go so easily? The better question was: how could he fix this? He cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry. I just- I just wasn’t feeling good yesterday.” The words come out before he can process them. Lies. Why did he lie?

Lucy chuckled again. “Oh really?” She paused, waiting for his response. He could almost imagine the hand sassily placed at her hip. He was suddenly playing a game of chess over the phone. 

Apologize. Tell her the truth. The words got stuck in his throat, producing stammers instead of what he really wanted to say. I’m sorry for not answering your calls. It was stupid and I was scared. I want to talk about what happened. Was it already too late to talk about it?

“Yeah,” Schroeder said heavily, “I think I ate too much food is all.” Every angel on his shoulder slapped their foreheads in disbelief. Silence. Schroeder instantly knew his lie did not pass through Lucy’s heavily fortified gates. He suddenly wished he could change his answer. The devil snickered on his other shoulder.

Lucy coughed loudly into the speaker, “Well, I’m sick too—must have gotten it from you—so sorry, no driving lesson today. Goodbye, Schroeder.” Click.

Schroeder stood in stunned silence, the dead line beeping in his ear like a siren. 

—

Schroeder screwed up royally. 

Ever since Thanksgiving, Lucy van Pelt hasn’t been the same. She jokes less. She only talks to be polite. She laughs less around him. Even her usual easy-going smile looks pained. Don’t get him wrong, he was glad that she was at least speaking to him again after he blatantly lied to her weeks ago. He was lucky that she was still teaching him how to drive or that she still came over to study twice a week. 

But something had changed irrevocably.

At night, Schroeder would toss and turn and relive that fateful night. Him leaning in. His heart pounding. Her eyes full of desire. The tiny gasp when he touched her face. Every detail of that night haunted his dreams. Scratch that, it haunted his every waking moment.

Curse that sweet potato pie. He never wanted anything more desperately in this life as he yearned for her lips on his. For her body to be touching him constantly. He just wanted her . In a capacity that she wasn’t giving anymore.

How did our relationship grow so torn? He’d go back and forth on what the issue was. Was it because he didn’t kiss her? Or was it because he tried to kiss her? 

He also should have never ignored her calls. That only made matters worse. He’d stare at the phone sometimes, wondering if she’d call and things would go back to the way they were. She never did. There were no more late night phone calls where they’d have to whisper to not get caught past curfew. No more random what are you doing’s.

Worse of all, Schroeder knew he shouldn’t have gotten romantically involved with Lucy van Pelt. He told Charlie Brown that a month ago and yet he went against his own words and did so anyway. 

A mere crush had grown into so much more. It was like a dandelion growing on a neatly mowed lawn. It was beautiful and fun and exciting, but in the end it was a weed that had planted its roots in a place where it shouldn’t have. Schroeder would have to pluck it out by the time he graduated.

A pair of chocolate brown eyes flashed underneath his eyelids. A ripple of laughter rang in his ears. 

He slammed his pillow over his head and screamed. He was an idiot.

—

It was too cold to sit outside by the tree anymore. It would snow soon, Schroeder could feel it.

He sat next to Charlie Brown and his goonies. They were eagerly talking about doing a New Year’s show down at the local bar. He absentmindedly poked at his food and tried to look invested in their conversation. He was actually trying to ignore a certain girl’s laughter but his ears had a knack for picking the sound out even in a cafeteria full of students. 

What was she laughing about? If they weren’t in such a rocky place, he may have called and asked her about it later. 

He inwardly groaned and waved away the thought. Schroeder just wanted a moment's reprieve of not thinking about his misfortune with Lucy van Pelt.

Charlie Brown nudged him with his elbow, ripping Schroeder’s attention away from a head full of black. “What do you think, Schroeder?” His friend asked, eyes gleaming with excitement. Schroeder blinked and looked at him in confusion.

“I’m sorry, what? I wasn’t really paying attention.” Charlie rolled his eyes and playfully smacked his back.

“You were nodding your head like this,” his friend mimicked him with a little bit of exaggeration. He stopped and gave Schroeder a deadpanned look. “And you weren’t paying attention?” 

Schroeder flushed and averted his gaze. But the head-bobbing was one of Lucy’s mannerisms, not his. Was his body really doing that subconsciously? He waved his friend off. “My bad. I’m just-” he sighed and shut his eyes. He could feel a migraine coming on. Charlie Brown rubbed his back.

“Stressed, huh? I get it man, you have that big recital coming up. Don’t worry about it! I bet you’ll sound perfect as usual.” 

Perfect. Everything will be perfect.

Schroeder bit back a wince and hid it with a pained smile. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m just stressed.”

—

“Hello, Schroeder.”

“Hey, Lucy,” he responded with a genuine smile. When was the last time she had called him first? His smile instantly disappeared with what she said next.

“I just wanted to tell you that I won’t be able to come study this week.”

“Oh. Why not?” He didn’t bother trying to hide his disappointment. She imagined her shrugging nonchalantly.

“I’m going to the mall with Patty and Violet this week. And then with my family. Christmas shopping and all that, y’know.” 

He looked at his calendar. Christmas was in less than two weeks. His recital in one. 

Lucy shuffled on the other side, “Schroeder? Did you hear me?” He scratched his head, frustrated.

“Yeah. Yeah, I heard you.” She made a popping sound with her lips and said a quick goodbye. The sound of the line dying was like a slap in the face. It was only ever straight to the point with her now.

He placed the phone down with a disappointed click . His steps down the stairs were heavy. He slammed the music room door closed. He skipped dinner and slammed his fingers on the piano for hours on end.

At least his piano was always happy to hear his complaints.

—

Winter’s first snowfall happened the day of Schroeder’s recital. It was a sign of good luck, not that he needed it anyways.

He wasn’t nervous about this performance, not at all. He was more than ready. He had locked himself in his music room since the first day of winter break. Schubert’s Sonata was more than just muscle memory. It was his memory. His fingers had forgotten how to hold a spoon from the sheer amount of practice. The 20 pages of music were embedded in his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was sheet music.

Even Lucy had become a faint memory. If a week of practicing could do that, then maybe he could survive graduating without being by her side.

The recital started with his piano instructor greeting the audience. Schroeder curiously peeked through the curtains. He spotted his parents in the front row. Charlie Brown and his family were a few rows behind them. Thankfully, his other friends such as Peppermint Patty, Marcie, and Franklin were closer to the back. They tend to fall asleep at these kinds of events but seeing them show up despite that brought a smile to Schroeder’s face.

Despite his headcount being completed, Schroeder subconsciously scanned the crowd for one more person. His heart raced in anticipation. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. The lights dim before he can finish his search and he disappointedly sticks his head back behind the curtain. Of course he shouldn’t expect her to show up. Things were different between them now.

His piano teacher darted off stage and instructed all the students to form a line, youngest to oldest. Schroeder stood in the back. He would be the final performance, just as he predicted.

He’s been dreaming of this day since he was a kid and it was finally coming true. Yet, he felt empty, his chest hollow. 

The first couple of kids enter and leave the stage. They were toddlers who were still learning hand-to-eye coordination. The parents adored this segment of the show; adults just love babies. Their songs were the typical short nursery rhymes like “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “Frère Jacques.” The teacher sat next to them and made sure they pressed the correct keys. 

The elementary schoolers were next and their songs were not much more difficult than their toddler counterparts. Next up were the middle schoolers and that’s when most attendees would start to doze off. Although pieces such as “Moonlight Sonata” and “Clair de Lune” were icons in the classical world, to the general public they were more obscure.

There’s only 3 high schoolers left to perform including himself. Many students don’t continue the piano after junior high. They choose to devote more of their time doing “popular” extracurriculars such as baseball, football, band, or cheerleading. And eventually, they stop playing the piano altogether.

The student before him, a junior he didn’t know the name of, finishes and the crowd begins to clap. The piano instructor pats Schroeder on the back and shoots him a proud smile. It was his turn now.

Schroeder steps onto the stage and his eyes constrict from the harsh spotlight. He doesn’t try to spot anyone in the crowd and slowly walks to the piano bench at center stage. The crowd is silent except for a few murmurs. I heard this one got accepted into Juilliard. I bet he’s really good.

This was it. This was his final performance before college. He made it.

His nerves shake his focus just for a little bit but immediately calms when his fingers touch the surface of the keys. He readies his feet onto the pedals and counts himself off. His eyes close when he plays the first note.

Like time and time again, Schroeder lets himself get carried by the music produced by his fingertips. He is there but at the same time he is not. He does not feel the heat of the spotlight glaring down on him and cannot feel the eyes of the crowd staring. All five of his senses are overridden. The music is the only thing on his brain.

Schroeder then felt eraser shavings stuck on his palms. He bore with the feeling until the end of the first movement. He stood and calmly walked off stage. His piano instructor was already there, water bottle in hand. Schroeder accepted it with thanks and drank. He stared at his hands. There were no eraser shavings. 

Perplexed, he shook his head and walked back on stage. The crowd stops talking as he sits down. He began the second movement.

He quickly forgot about what just occurred as the music built up in a crescendo. At the peak of it, he heard a quiet giggle. His brows furrowed as he tried to concentrate. A second giggle. He powered through the loudest bit, frustrated. He slammed his fingers against the keys in a way to try to drown out the sound. Another giggle rang out but this time, it sounded familiar. 

His eyes shot open as the second movement ended. He rushes off stage, the bench screeching behind him. He eagerly grabbed the bottle from his instructor’s ready hand and downed the remainder of it. His teacher stared at him worriedly. Schroeder excused himself to the restroom.

He practically ran through backstage and into the conjoining hallway. It was thankfully empty when he bursted into the men’s restroom. Schroeder splashed water onto his face and leaned against the sink. He let the water fall from his face, watching the droplets drip into the sink. He lifted his head to stare into the mirror. His reflection scared him.

His face was gaunt from days of neglecting to eat properly. Bags situated themselves under his eyes, drowning out their bright blue hue. 

He looked like a musician. A crazed one. He let the music take him but at what cost? His health? His sanity? 

Schroeder knew he had imagined Lucy up on that stage with him. The eraser shavings on his palms were from hours of doing homework together on the music room floor. Those tiny giggles were from the sweet laughter that he hadn’t heard in so painfully long. Lucy had made such an impact on his life in such a short period of time that he had become addicted. The disappearance of her happy and easy-going demeanor was a withdrawal he could not overcome. 

He grit his teeth as he stared at this version of himself. “Pull yourself together, Schroeder.” He pushed off of the sink and dried his face. Lucy might not be at his recital physically, but he would be damned if he didn’t finish this performance.

Schroeder brushed off his concerned piano teacher and walked back onto stage. The audience, who had waited especially long during movement two and three, immediately quietened when he sat back down. He didn’t waste any time playing again. He began the third movement of Schubert’s Sonata before he was even fully comfortable.

The third section of the piece was more playful than the last two. Allegro vivace, the name of the third movement, literally translated into “very fast and lively.” Schroeder felt anything but, yet he pretended to be. A musician was a performer so perform he shall.

Soon, a faint smell of florals drifted onto the stage. It swamped Schroeder with a potency to poison and he desperately filled his lungs with it. It’s been a while since he’d been able to catch a whiff of Lucy’s perfume. He doubted he’d ever have the fortune of smelling it again.

He finished the short third movement and opened his eyes. His breath was caught in his throat as he envisioned Lucy there atop his piano. She was wearing a flowy light blue dress that cascaded down her arms and legs. Like a blue jay, she perched over the edge of the piano. Her expression was sweet and soft as she stared at him with a small smile, just as she openly did when they were younger. Except, this was the older version of her that Schroeder had grown to love.

Love. Schroeder loved Lucy van Pelt. 

His hands shook as he lifted them from the keys slowly. He blinked as he stared at the phantom next to him in shock. I love Lucy, he admitted to himself. The girl giggled and kicked her feet playfully as if she heard him. She glanced down at the piano and gestured towards it. Play for me.

He was supposed to exit the stage after each movement. Doing so let him stretch his legs and relax his cramped fingers. The last movement was the longest among the four. If he started it, that would mean he would be playing for 20 minutes straight with no break. He knew this but as Schroeder stared at the mythical woman at the edge of his piano, he knew he didn’t want to lose her. He obediently hovered his fingers back over the keys and he played.

His eyes never left the girl in front of him. And hers didn’t either. 

Schroeder was no longer absorbed in the music he played. He was fully captivated by Lucy. He was playing for her. And even as his fingers ached and his joints burned, he continued playing. I will not disappoint her.

At the start of the performance, he felt empty inside. That feeling was filled with something else now. Ambition. Yearning. Guilt. Love. 

As he played the final notes, Schroeder smiled. He closed his eyes and sighed with satisfaction as he let the notes ring out to a silence. The crowd roared with claps and cheers. He finally opened his eyes and Lucy was gone from the edge of his piano.

Schroeder stood up with shaky feet and faced the audience with a long and deep bow. Tears gathered in his eyes. This was his best performance to date. Schroeder’s parents, teacher, and friends swarmed him on stage. A flower bouquet was shoved into his arms. 

“You were amazing! That last part was truly breathtaking, man! I couldn't look away for a second.” Charlie Brown ruffled Schroeder’s hair and slung an arm over his shoulders. Marcie nodded with a small smile, adjusting her glasses.

“Truly a spectacle, Schroeder. You did a great job.”

Peppermint Patty slugged his tired arm with a big grin. “Even I couldn’t fall asleep to that performance, Schroeder ole pal.”

Franklin came to congratulate him as well, patting him on the back. The stage lights dimmed and light production switched on the normal overhead lights. Schroeder squinted as his eyes adjusted and that’s when he saw her.

Lucy was in the very back of the auditorium. She was sitting down alone, the last one of her row yet to leave. Her arms were crossed and she chewed on her bottom lip as she watched the people on stage with a hint of longing. Their eyes locked and Schroeder saw fear flash in her eyes before she quickly stood from her spot and exited the double doors. 

“I’ll be right back.” Schroeder gave the bouquet to his mom as he fluidly hopped off from the stage. His friends called out to him but it was too late, he was already barreling through the doors after Lucy. 

There was a crowd of people already outside. He pushed past all of them in search of her. He received multiple “congratulations” that he thoroughly ignored. A head of black hair darted in the corner of his eyes. His head swiveled to the side so rapidly it could have snapped. Lucy was walking to her car. And she was extremely fast.

Schroeder ran after her, tripping several times on the freshly fallen snow. “Lucy! Wait!”

She didn’t stop and so didn’t Schroeder. “Lucy!” He called after her desperately. 

For the past few weeks, he’s been awfully confused. Confused on their relationship, confused on his feelings, and even more confused on what he should do with said feelings. But being on that stage tonight, with phantom Lucy, had woken something inside him. It was a wake-up call put into a form where he could finally understand it. Music. And he would not miss his chance at telling Lucy how he truly felt.

She opened her car door and sat in the driver’s seat. A look of urgency was stapled onto her features as she grasped the door handle. “Lucy! Dammit. Please just- wait!” Schroeder reached to stop the door from closing, resulting in Lucy slamming the door right onto his fingers. 

He immediately cried out in pain but didn’t retract his hand. Lucy shrieked and swung the car door open, nearly busting Schroeder lip open in the process. 

“Schroeder! Oh my god, what do you think you’re doing?!” Lucy screamed in a shrill voice. She pranced around Schroeder, her hands covering her face. He clutched his hand and spun in a circle, cursing to himself repeatedly. To anyone watching, it looked like the two were maniacally dancing in the snow. 

“Your hand! Oh my god! I just- to your hand! Is it broken? Oh my god, what have I done?!” 

Schroeder tried to calm himself down just so Lucy would calm down, but the pain in his fingers was impossible to ignore. He grimaced as he looked at Lucy’s tear-stricken face. God, he was already making her cry. Just say it, Schroeder.

“I like you,” Schroeder forced out through gritted teeth. Lucy choked and stared at him with wide eyes. Her tears quickly stopped.

“What did you just say?”

Schroeder groaned and approached her shakily, still holding his hurt hand. “I said, I like you, Lucy.” She blinked at him, snow peppered her wet eyelashes.

“What do you mean?”

The pain slowed into a mild heat. He looked at her with fierce determination. “I mean that I like you, like you.” She continued to slow blink, staring up at Schroeder with a mixture of shock and confusion.

“What? I’m sorry. I just- I don’t understand where this is coming from.” She gasped as Schroeder slowly backed her into the door of her car. He made sure she was staring into his eyes as he spilt out a confession.

“I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize. I’m sorry that I ignored your phone calls. I’m sorry that it took you acting differently around me for me to finally cave in. But I like you, Lucy.” He meant it sincerely, in every sense of the word, he meant it. But would she forgive him?

It was like something snapped in her. The confusion melted away into scorn. Schroeder yelped as she forcefully shoved him back. Any bit of guilt she had for nearly breaking his hand was gone. He fell in the snow and she crossed her arms with a scoff.

“So, you like me. And? I’m hearing a lot of apologies but none for what really matters!” Schroeder stood up using his good hand and dusted off the snow from his suit. His brows furrowed.

“I don’t get it. Weren’t you mad at me for lying and ignoring your calls after Thanksgiving?”

Lucy stared at him like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She shook her head with a disappointed sigh. She reopened her car door. “For a genius, you sure are an idiot, Schroeder.” She’s about to close the door but Schroeder catches the door frame again. Lucy gasped and glared up at him. “Stop sticking your hand where I can smash it or else I might mean it next time! I’m going home.”

Schroeder ignored her and held the door open. “Lucy, please. I’m so bad at this. You’re right, I’m an idiot. A blockhead. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He knew he was begging but he could care less. Whatever it took for her to understand his sincerity, he’d do so without embarrassment. He grabbed her hands and squeezed although he couldn’t feel them anymore. “I want to understand what I did wrong. I really do! I want to know what’s going on in your head. Please-” Lucy cuts him off when she yanks her hands away. She stands from the car again and angrily faces Schroeder.

“Good grief! You really have no clue?” Schroeder shook his head helplessly. Lucy sharply inhaled and shut her eyes. When she opened them, the bit of the fire they held was drowned in water. “You hurt me, Schroeder. Yes, because of the lying and ignoring but also not. It was so much more than that.” Lucy sniffled and wiped the tear that fell from her eye. Her gaze wavered, Schroeder could tell she wanted to look away, but she courageously kept eye contact.

“After we nearly… kissed, I thought- I thought you might try to kiss me again. I wanted you to try again. But then you got shy I guess—no big deal—and I let you go home. I was disappointed but I told myself, I’ll call him tomorrow and we can sort this out. Great, except, you didn’t answer any of my calls. All. Day. Long,” she inhaled again, catching her breath, “And on top of that, the day you finally decide to stop ignoring me, you pretend as if nothing happened between us. Like that night on the porch was all a food-induced dream.” Lucy sighed heavily and shut her eyes. Schroeder opened his mouth to apologize, again, but she held up her hand to be quiet.

“It hurt thinking that it was just a spur of the moment thing for you. The Homecoming dance. The night you carried me home after I scraped my knees. After hours of spending time with you alone and you actually looking like you were enjoying yourself as much as I was. And especially after you said all those nice things to me. You really had me convinced that maybe—maybe—my feelings for you were once and for all reciprocated.” 

Schroeder’s chest constricted painfully. Guilt was not enough to describe the way he was feeling. If regret was a living thing, it would have carved a tunnel into his heart and rested there. He fucked up definitely. This conversation could have been avoided. Their pain could have been avoided. A month of restless silence, wasted.

Tears freely trailed down Lucy’s face now. She didn’t bother wiping them.

“You say that I started acting differently but what did you do to change that? Nothing! Of course I would be different. I was hurt. I was embarrassed. I was confused. I thought you liked me!”

Schroeder grabbed her face and screamed, “I do like you! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m so so sorry. But I like you. I really do, Lucy,” Schroeder’s voice cracked in his third confession. Although he was the one holding her, he was the one who felt small. So incredibly small.

Lucy chuckled, the sound tired. She shrugged away his hands on her face. Schroeder’s heart sank as she got into her car wordlessly. She stares up at Schroeder with a sad smile. “I like you, Schroeder. And I’m really happy that you do too. Really. But I also need some time to wrap my head around this. Okay?” His hands formed a fist. He grimaced but nodded, understanding her hesitance. Lucy smiled, looking a little more hopeful, and patted his hand gently, just as she did before everything went down.

She closes her car door and this time Schroeder doesn’t stop her. “Drive safe, Lucy.”

Schroeder had given the best performance of his life but stood where her car once was, defeated.

—

Charlie Brown came to Schroeder’s aid faster than the way his friend drives. He patiently listened to Schroeder as he explained his situation with Lucy. They pelted snowballs at empty soda bottles from off the top of the park wall. 

“What did she say after that?” His friend grunted as he threw his snowball. It hit the wall right under one of the bottles. Schroeder bent down and formed a ball. He sighed as he cocked his arm behind his head and threw with all his might. He hit a bottle with a loud thwack. 

“She said that she needed time to think things through.” He made another snowball and waited for Charlie Brown to throw first. Miss. His turn. Hit.

“Damn. And what did you say to that?” Miss.

“I told her to drive safe and then she went home.” 

“I mean after that.” 

Schroeder shrugged and raised his arm to throw a third ball. “There’s nothing after that. I haven’t talked to her since.” He yelped when a wet cold hit the back of his head. Snow ran down his coat and to his neck. “Why did you-” 

Charlie Brown threw another snowball but this time at Schroeder’s face. He sputtered as he rubbed the snow off his already freezing face. He looked at his friend as if to say “Why the hell would you do that?” Charlie responded by throwing his hands up exasperatedly.

“You mean to tell me, Schroeder, that you haven’t talked to your little lady for three days?” He took off his gloves and shoved three fingers in Schroeder’s face. He pushed his hand away with a grunt and made a new snowball.

“Well, yes. She said she needed space so I-” Charlie Brown hit him with another snowball. “Would you quit it?!” His friend quickly made another snowball and aimed it at Schroeder, this time missing as he dodged.

Charlie Brown hid as Schroeder angrily made a snowball. “I’ll ‘quit it’ when you quit being such a sissy!” He yelled out from behind a tree.

“Says the one who’s hiding,” Schroeder bit back snarkily. He aimed for his hiding spot despite knowing he’d only hit bark. He made another snowball and threw it again as he complained, “I don’t understand. What was I supposed to do! She said she needed time!”

Charlie Brown appeared from his hiding spot and threw a lame ball. It landed at Schroeder’s feet. “I don’t know, but I’ll tell you what you’re not supposed to do. You’re not supposed to confess your feelings, make a girl cry, and then leave her hanging in the span of less than a week.” He threw another ball and this time it hits him square in the chest. “How’s that for advice?”

Schroeder groaned and aimed for the remaining bottle. Hit. He slumped into a nearby park bench, exhausted mentally and physically. Charlie Brown took the neighboring spot.

“I like her so much, Charlie Brown. I don’t want to mess anything up.” He tilted his head towards the sky, letting the snowflakes land on his face. I want everything to be perfect, as someone once said to him.

His friend sighed and leaned forward, his arms on his knees. “Well, you’re messing up by not talking to her. She said she needs time to think, not time to stop liking you.” Schroeder eyed his friend cautiously.

“You seriously think I should just talk to her?” Charlie shook out his arms like he had the jitters. He turned to Schroeder with a serious look.

“Talking stage is over, bud. That’s for friendships only and a line you’ve already crossed. What you need to do is to start courting her.”

“Court her?” Schroeder repeated incredulously. The words were as weird on his tongue as it was odd in his brain. How the hell would he do that? 

Charlie Brown hummed in thought. “Lucy said she doubted your feelings for her, right?” Schroeder nodded. His friend shrugged and leaned back, draping his arms along the metal back of the bench. “Then just make your feelings for her undoubtable. Maybe then she can finally wrap her head around it.”

—

“Let me get this straight, man. You snuffed me out because… you want to know what flowers my sister likes?” Linus van Pelt chalked the end of his pool cue as he stared at him incredulously. Schroeder awkwardly stood to the side of the pool table. Wearing his typical sweater and slacks getup, he felt wildly out of place inside the town pool hall. 

“Precisely,” Schroeder replied lamely. He watched as Linus bent over the table and lined up his cue to the cue ball. He took his time calculating the perfect angle before taking the shot. He knocked a stripe into a nearby pocket. Linus scoffed as he straightened. He stalked around the table, eyeing for another easy shot.

“How’d you know to find me here anyways? None of my boys would have told you. Anddd this place doesn’t look like your typical scene.” 

Schroeder chuckled uncomfortably, shifting his weight. How do you tell someone that they memorized every detail of their car because you have a crush on their sister? He shrugged nonchalantly, “You have a black 8-ball sticker on your car bumper.” Linus laughed as he hit another stripe into a pocket.

“It’s actually a Magic 8 Ball.”

“It was a happy coincidence then,” Schroeder huffed and crossed his arms. Linus scoffed and didn’t say anything, focusing on the game in front of him. 

Schroeder knew Linus was going to make this as difficult as possible, but he didn’t expect the greaser to straight up ignore him. Schroeder was determined though; he would not leave until he got the answer he searched for.

Schroeder grabbed a cue from the wall and stood closer to the table. This distracts Linus, causing him to miss. The greaser glared at him. Schroeder shrugged and said, “My turn.”

Schroeder hadn’t a clue about pool besides that the solids were his target. Baseball was more his groove. He did, however, have every clue about geometry. He sunk two consecutive balls into their pockets before missing and ending his turn. 

A game of pool turned into something else entirely. Each boy had a goal at stake, although neither of them spoke of it. Schroeder wanted to know what Lucy’s favorite flowers were and Linus didn’t appreciate someone courting his sister that he didn’t deem worthy. Linus took no time approaching the table, eager to one up Schroeder in their silent face off. 

They took turns hitting and scoring and hitting and missing. Although this was his first competitive game of pool, he gave Linus a run for his money. They each had only one ball left to sink and it was Schroeder’s turn. He let out a shaky sigh and lined up his cue. His final solid fell into the pocket beautifully. Now it was just the 8-ball left.

It was an awkward angle. If Schroeder was even one degree off from his calculation, he would miss and Linus would most definitely not. 

“Why my sister?” Linus asked suddenly. A tick of irritation struck Schroeder. Trying to distract him at his final shot was such an underhanded tactic.

Schroeder grunted, “Excuse me?” He didn’t try to hide his annoyance. Linus tapped his pool cue onto the floor.

“You heard me, Beethoven. Why do you like my sister? You clearly hated her before we moved. I may have been too young to understand then, but I remember seeing the way she’d cry over you.”

Schroeder sighed and straightened, not wanting to risk his turn. He turned to Linus. “Are you seriously asking me why I have romantic feelings for your sister?”

Linus snorted and shrugged. He gestured towards the table, telling Schroeder to finish his turn. “I guess you could always just go buy a random bouquet of roses.” Tell me why or I won’t tell you. Fine.

Schroeder went back to the game. His brows furrowed in concentration. The black 8-ball was shiny and oddly reminded him of the girl he was playing this game for. His hands get sweaty and he hits the cue ball. The ball slowly approaches the black game ender and he watches as it stops right in front of the pocket. 

He had lost.

Schroeder groaned and rubbed his face. He doesn’t look as Linus takes his turn. He hears the sound of the ball landing into a pocket. Schroeder sighed and looked at Linus. “You win.”

Linus doesn’t celebrate his win. He gently returns his pool cue to the wall and goes back to lean against the table. He stared at Schroeder seriously. “You haven’t answered my question.”

Schroeder lifted a brow, “You really want to know?” He nods. Schroeder stared down Linus as he repeated the same compliments that he told his sister on Thanksgiving night. “She’s smart. She’s unapologetically herself. She’s a good cook. She writes pretty… She is pretty.” He blushed slightly from admitting that to his crush’s sibling.

“Is that all?” He sounded exactly like his older sister too, except more mocking than seductive. Schroeder sighed and looked away. He recalled his piano recital and remembered the way he felt playing for his imagination’s Lucy.

“Sometimes, when I play the piano, I pretend she’s sitting next to me… And I find that I play better when I do.”

It’s silent between them. The sounds of other pool games click and clack in the background. Schroeder couldn’t bring himself to look at Lucy’s brother. His face was on fire.

“Lilies,” Linus finally answers, “That’s her favorite flower. It’s also the scent of the shampoo she always uses.” Schroeder’s head snapped towards Linus. The greaser slung on his leather jacket and walked to the door. Sunlight poured into the dimly lit pool room. Linus looked over his shoulder at Schroeder right before leaving. 

“Oh, and by the way, Loverboy,” he paused, a mischievous grin plastered over the boy’s face. “It’s just me and sis in the house on Wednesdays. The parents take Rerun to hockey practice. I’ll probably be out that day too.”

—

“What type of lilies does she like?”

Schroeder scratched his head. Linus didn’t specify which species of lily that Lucy preferred, only that she liked the fragrance.  “Uhhh, ” he stammered, “whatever smells the best?”

The florist was all smiles as she led Schroeder to the oriental section of lilies. He followed her like a lost puppy. He was then overwhelmed by the selection of bouquets. Some were all lilies and some a mix of other flowers. He grabbed the first bouquet that grabbed his attention.

He showed the lady a bundle of white flowers. “This one is pretty.” The lady chuckled and informed Schroeder it was actually a funeral bouquet. He quickly returned them with red cheeks. She then showed him a bouquet made of the same pink colored lily. Schroeder eyed it with scrutiny. While the flower itself was beautiful, having it be the only flower dulled its overall beauty. It was underwhelming. 

Schroeder shook his head in dissatisfaction. The florist then suggested he make his own bouquet if he didn’t like any of the premade arrangements and led him to the back of the store. There were miniature bundles of individual flowers available for his own creativity. Including lilies.

He felt like a child picking flowers. Except, these weren’t free. He didn’t bother looking at the price though; Schroeder just chose whatever he thought Lucy would find pretty.

He gathered a handful of large, white lilies—Oriental, the ones that smell like her hair—roses in her favorite color blue, white daisies, and some greenery. He gathered the mini bouquets in his hand and smiled happily. He had high hopes that she would like it.

Right before he went to check out, he decided to grab one other flower. Schroeder froze. Would he be overdoing it? He debated on it for a moment before sharply inhaling and marching to the register with the new flower in tow.

—

That coming Wednesday, Schroeder knocked on the van Pelt’s door, heart in his hands. The bouquet in his arms felt heavy. Would Lucy accept it?

“Coming!” Lucy’s voice. Schroeder nervously shifted as he heard the locks click open.

The door opens. He’s only able to see a flash of black hair before the door slams back into his face so hard that his hair is swept to the side. Lucy’s shrill shriek could be heard through the door. 

“Lucy?” Schroeder called out worriedly. He pressed his ear against the wood. “Are you alright? Did I scare you? It’s just me, Schroeder.” 

“I know who you are!” She yelled back. Schroeder flinched from the door; her voice was much closer than he thought. He heard her stand up, her back probably against the door. “And yes, you did scare me! What are you doing here?” 

Schroeder stared at the bouquet in his hand and flushed. “I uh- got you flowers.” Silence. Schroeder shifted, flustered. “Do you… not want them?” 

“No!” Lucy immediately added, “I mean- I do! I just- Um…”

“‘Um?’” Schroeder echoed. 

The door creaked open a crack. Lucy pops only her head out, the apples of her cheeks pink. Small fingers wrapped around the door frame. Her hair isn’t down like it normally is. She has it up high in a ponytail, her bangs pinned to the side. She spots the bouquet in his hands and her eyes widen. 

She points a finger at the bundle of white and blue. “That’s for me?” She squeaked and pointed to herself. Schroeder nodded and offered the bouquet to her. She pushed it away with an averted gaze. Her tied up hair made it possible for him to notice the red tips of her ears. Was she embarrassed? Angry?  

His heart sank as he lowered his arm. “I’m sorry. I thought-” He thought that the flowers were a good idea. A great one actually. Maybe he was in over his head. Upon seeing Schroeder’s expression, her hand landed on his forearm that carried the flowers. 

“No! I love it, Schroeder. I’m just not… decent right now.” He caught a slip of silk that brushed past the door. Her bare arms were also just noticed by him. Lucy was wearing only a nightgown. Schroeder blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Oh.”

Lucy chewed her bottom lip in debate. Her head darted back inside briefly before looking up at Schroeder. A plan sparkled in her eyes. “Alright. Come in.” 

Schroeder’s eyes widened and he shook his head bashfully. “I really shouldn’t, Lucy.” Him being alone with Lucy while she was wearing only that? It was a tempting offer, but he had enough respect for her to say no.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Look. I don’t plan on keeping you out here in the snow but I definitely don’t plan on letting you see me like this . You’ll close your eyes, I’ll guide you to the living room, and you wait for me while I change. Is that good with you?”

It was certainly a better idea than him just waltzing in. And he did really want to give her the flowers. Schroeder shrugged timidly and nodded, a bit of shyness still staining his cheeks. Lucy smiled the way she used to before, full of girlish excitement. “Okay. Close your eyes.” Schroeder obeyed and closed his eyes. He heard the door creak further open. Lucy’s soft hand grabbed his hand. 

His hand. Not his wrist. Or his arm. But his hand.

When was the last time she had touched him so casually? It was only just Thanksgiving, but it felt like ages ago. 

Temptation urged him to open his eyes and look. Look and see how their hands fit together. That temptation is soon thwarted when Lucy scolds him, “I can see your eyelashes moving, Schroeder! Keep your eyes closed or else I’ll leave you outside!” Schroeder screwed his eyes tightly shut at the threat. He’ll just have to be satisfied with the feel of her hands in his. 

Lucy slowly helped him take off his snow-soaked jacket. He felt the brush of the silk against his bare arm and goosebumps razed down its entire length in response. He shivered in delight, lips parting open. Touch deprived, he was destroyed by the mere feel of her clothes. Lucy seems none the wiser at this reaction and leads him to the living room. He sits down on the couch and she lets go of his hand. Schroeder pouts.

“I’ll go change into something better and I’ll be right back.” Schroeder hears her dash up the stairs and the sound of a door slamming. He opens his eyes and eyes the bouquet in his hands. I’m going to do it. I’m going to give this to her and she’ll understand how much I truly like her.

Schroeder’s ears perk up at the sound of her door opening. She’s coming . He closes his eyes again. She’s not rushing down the stairs this time, her footsteps soft. He doesn’t realize how close she’s gotten until the couch cushion next to him sinks.

She chuckles. Her finger lightly pokes his eyelids. “You can open your eyes now.” His eyes fling open and they eagerly scan her. She’s wearing jeans for the first time and a loose cardigan sweater, the sleeves run slightly past her wrist. She skipped the makeup but there was a sheen of lip gloss that wasn’t there at the door. He pouts when he sees her hair back down from its updo. Lucy giggles at his expression and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replies with a small smile. He mindlessly reached for the ends of her hair, twirling it between his fingers. It was soft, just as he imagined, like ribbon slipping through his fingers. “I’ve never seen you wear your hair up like that before. I kinda liked it.” 

Lucy blushed and looked away, pulling the hair Schroeder was playing with her. She muttered a shy “Thank you.”

Schroeder grabbed the flowers he had put to the side and held it to her. “I believe these are yours. I hope blue is still your favorite color.” Lucy beamed as she stared at the white and blue bouquet. She gingerly accepts the flowers, a big smile plastered on her face. Her hands briefly touch Schroeder’s during the exchange. 

She gasps as she touches the petal of a white lily. “Lilies! My favorites.” Lucy practically smooshes her face into the bouquet and takes a big whiff. She pulls away and exhales loudly. She turns to Schroeder with an even wider smile. “Thank you, Schroeder. These are absolutely beautiful.”

Schroeder blushed and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. He looked into her shining eyes and had to look away. “No problem, Lucy. I thought they were pretty… like you.” 

He can feel his face turn a darker shade of red as soon as the words fall from his mouth. His attempts at flirting were straight out of a horror movie. Charlie Brown could have warned him that this “courting” stuff was absolutely mortifying. 

Lucy must have thought so too, as she snorted while lightly pushing Schroeder. She thankfully didn’t tease him any further on the matter. Instead, she merely accepts the compliment and then says, “I’m going to stick this in some water.” She stands up and looks at Schroeder, the bouquet in her arms like a baby. “Would you like some hot cocoa? I made some earlier if you’d like.” 

Schroeder nodded enthusiastically, “I’d love some, thanks,” then followed her to the kitchen. The kitchen isn’t chaotic as it was during Thanksgiving; only one pot sat on the stove today. She turned it on, heating the pot of hot chocolate. The smell of warm chocolate makes his mouth water.

Schroeder leaned against the counter as he watched Lucy methodically cut the stems and place the flowers in a glass vase. She was smiling as she cut them, clearly enjoying the small bit of labor. Schroeder took notes: how far up to cut and the angle of her scissors. Next time, he’d make sure she does no work at all. Her brows furrowed when she discovered the lone flower hiding in the middle of the bundle.

“Oh, I think this peony got stranded.” 

Schroeder chuckled as he grew nervous. How would he tell her this? “No, um actually,” he paused to remind himself to breathe, “That was intentional. It’s purple which is—y’know— my favorite color. It’s to uh- remind you who gave you the bouquet.” Upon seeing her shocked expression, he quickly added, “You can take it out if you want. I just thought…” He didn’t know what he thought. 

Lucy was silent as she stared at the lone, purple peony. She twirled its stem in her fingers. Schroeder paled when a tear ran down her face. He immediately runs to her side.

“Lucy? What’s wrong? Do you hate it that much?” He sure had a talent at making the girl he liked cry. She sniffled and shook her head, furiously wiping at her tears. 

“I’m fine. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just- God,” Lucy groaned and let out a strangled laugh. “This is so sweet, Schroeder. I don’t even know what to say. I mean, you’re trying so hard and I was so stubborn at your recital. Ah-” 

Schroeder cuts her off by grabbing her face. She lightly gasps at the sudden contact but doesn’t flinch away. He relishes the soft surface of her cheeks as he gently wipes away her tears. He smiles.

“I don’t think you were stubborn at all. You weren’t sure of my feelings before, you can’t blame yourself for needing time. But if you’re ready, I’m ready to show you how I feel about you. I’ll keep on proving that to you until there’s no more doubt in your mind, Lucy. Only if you let me of course.” 

Schroeder ignored the burning in his face and stared into her eyes. If Lucy was going to believe him, he couldn’t shy away.

Lucy nods and laughs, tears still brimming in her eyes. She gently pries off Schroeder’s hands and picks up the purple peony from the counter. She stares at Schroeder as she kisses the top of the flower. His mind melts. 

“I think I like this version of you, Schroeder.”

Chapter Text

The mall was packed with last minute Christmas shoppers. Schroeder, Charlie Brown, and Peppermint Patty were among them. 

Schroeder isn’t the gift giving type nor did he typically like receiving them. He enjoyed practical gifts. Cologne. A new baseball glove. Another song collection for the piano. He would be happy if someone gave him a new pair of socks.

And his gifts to others would reflect his own preferences. Last year, he gave Patty a new baseball hat (she consistently lost or dirtied hers) and Charlie Brown a new guitar case because his old one looked like a pair of worn tennis shoes (and smelled like one).

But today was different, because Schroeder was on a mission to make Lucy van Pelt feel like the happiest woman alive. The only issue was on how to do that. Or what could do that.

Peppermint Patty slung an arm around Schroeder and pointed at a jewelry store, “What about jewelry for Little Lucy? Girls like jewelry.” Schroeder shrugged her off.

“Don’t call her that,” he grumbled. He stared at the store in debate. Would Lucy like jewelry? Now that he tried to recall, did she even wear jewelry? He scratched his head. “And, I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Let’s go in then,” Charlie Brown said, already inching towards the entrance, “I kind of want to get Heather something too.”

Patty raised a brow. “That red-haired girl? I didn’t know you still had a thing for her, Chuck.” There was a hint of jealousy in her tone, but Charlie Brown was none the wiser. Schroeder scoffed.

“Some things never change, do they?” And that could be applied to all three of them.

They entered the store; a bell dinged above their heads. Schroeder immediately noticed the disparity between the number of men to women in the store. Many of them were older than him, gold rings shined on their ring fingers. Schroeder gulped. What did he get himself into?

A store attendant approached the three with a tired smile. Were they shopping for their girlfriends, she asked politely. Schroeder flushed tomato red. Lucy and him weren’t dating… yet.

Charlie’s reaction was of similar fashion.

Patty teasingly elbowed the two boys and grinned mischievously. “Ah, yes . These two want to get something a little special for their girlfriends . Will you kindly help us?” 

Schroeder sputtered a jumble of words. He was trying to say, Lucy and I aren’t dating. But it came out more like, “No, we- Lucy. Me- Dating? Whatttt.”  

Charlie Brown was no better; he couldn’t even manage to form a coherent word other than, “Uhhhhhhh…”

The attendant chuckled, causing him and his friend to grow even more embarrassed, before leading them to a glass case full of jewelry. She showed them an assortment of necklaces and bracelets in their price range. Some were simple, timeless pieces while some were more bold and extravagant to fit the latest trends. 

Charlie Brown picked up a gold plated bracelet with red gemstones and smiled like an idiot in love. Seemed like his search for his “girlfriend’s” gift had come to an end.

Schroeder scoured through the pieces earnestly but could not find one that he liked for Lucy. This one was too chunky for her small neck. This other one would be far too plain. 

He scrunched his nose, lips turned down in a frown. None of these were good enough for her.

Peppermint Patty notices Schroeder’s displeasure and turns to the attendant. “Ma’am, do you have any rings? Promise rings or something of the sort?” 

Charlie Brown goes to pay while he and Patty go to the ring display. The employee shows a variety of ring shapes and designs that he never knew existed. Princess, marquise, pear. Why were the shapes named after British nobility and where did a fruit fit in with all this?

He spots a silver ring that is tied into a heart shape. That one was simple enough, not too over the top for his first jewelry piece. Lover’s knot, the woman explains, a popular promise ring design nowadays. 

Schroeder examined the ring in his hand, running a thumb over the knotted design. It was simple enough to pass off as a normal ring—just in case Lucy didn’t like the idea of a promise ring. Anxiety brewed in his stomach at the thought of Lucy’s rejection. 

He brushed away the possibility and focused on other things. Such as, was this ring her size? Thanks to the flower fiasco a few days ago, he had a rough idea on her ring size. Her hand was positively tiny, practically half the size of his own. 

Schroeder brought the ring to his middle finger and tried to slide it on. When the ring stopped even before his first knuckle, he knew the ring would be a perfect fit.

Still, he wasn’t so sure a ring would be the right move. He feared that maybe he was moving too fast. He needed advice.

He sharply inhaled and looked at Patty. The girl got the message and waved away the attendant. She put her hand on her hip and gestured for Schroeder to talk. “I don’t know, Patty. I mean- it’s nice, sure. But a promise ring? Isn’t it a bit too soon? We aren’t even dating.” Yet, he mentally added. He would ask her eventually. Of course he would, he just needed more time to completely win Lucy over. 

Patty rolled her eyes, sighed, and opened her hand in that order. She gestured for Schroeder to give her the ring. He complied, although slightly confused. The girl inspected the ring with a look of indifference before waving the attendant back over. “He’ll take it.” 

Schroeder’s eyes widened as the employee happily took the ring before he could change his mind. He stared at Patty with a half bewildered, half angry expression. “Patts!” He shouted in a whisper. 

Peppermint Patty only shrugged and leaned against the glass case. “What? We’ve been at the mall all day and you’ve yet to get Lucy a present. Even Charlie Brown-” she emphasized her point by gesturing at the boy at the cash register, a goofy grin stapled across his face, “-found a gift for his forever crush. I think I did you a favor, bud. You’re welcome in advance.” She patronizingly patted his shoulder.

Schroeder rolled his eyes and sighed. Maybe Patty was right, maybe he was overthinking this.

The three of them walk out of the jewelry store with a gift, one with a bracelet and another with a ring, for their prospective girlfriends. The now happy attendant waved them goodbye, pleased to have two commissions in her pocket. Peppermint Patty also seemed glad but mostly from having the long shopping trip come to an end.

She raised her arms above her head and stretched dramatically. “Thank god we’re finally finished. Let’s go to the food court, I’m starving.” 

“We’re done?” Charlie Brown asked, “What about Marcie? I didn’t see you get anything for her today.” The girl let out a huff and smiled proudly.

“I got her present weeks ago. Unlike you two, I don’t wait last minute to do my Christmas shopping.” Fair enough. But in Schroeder’s case, he wasn’t supposed to be courting Lucy in the first place.

The three made their way to the food court when a certain store caught Schroeder’s eye. It was a stationary store. The display window was lined with all the new designer paper, pretty pens, and other items you’d find in a girl’s pencil bag. 

He pictured the numerous pages of notes they’ve passed to each other; Lucy always wrote with her array of colored pens. He recalled her journal that was covered in stickers and glitter ink. He didn’t have much left in his wallet because of the ring and other presents, but he surely had enough for a pen or two.

Schroeder broke away from his two companions and stared at the store. “You guys go ahead. I think I might get Lucy one more thing.”

—

Schroeder sighed and slammed his head down onto his desk in frustration. In the midst of scouring the whole mall for Lucy’s Christmas gift, he had forgotten that you actually had to put the present into something and not just hand it over in its original store bag. The mall would see his face, yet again, tomorrow.

He stared at the velvet red ring box in his palm. He opened it and closed it repeatedly with a satisfying snap. I hope Lucy likes it, he thought hopefully. 

His private phone rang, startling him. He jumped up and answered, “Hello?”

“Hi, Schroeder.” 

Upon hearing Lucy’s voice, he yanked the phone cord to max length and plopped down onto his bed, phone to his ear. He closed his eyes with a smile.

“Hey, Lucy. How are you today?” She hummed softly. 

“I’m… fine.” 

Schroeder’s eyes immediately shot open at her melancholy tone. “You don’t sound that way to me. Are you okay?” He heard her sigh.

“Yes and no.”

He sat up, brows furrowed in concern. “Why? What’s wrong, Lucy?” His mind gathered any possible reason for her sadness. She was grounded. She burnt her cooking. Her grandmother died. She had to move away again. 

She decided she wanted nothing to do with him.

Would it be terrible if he hoped it was anything but that?

Lucy sighed again, deeply, before breaking the news, “I won’t be in town for Christmas or Christmas Eve. My family wants to celebrate it in the city with some friends.” 

Schroeder’s heart sank with disappointment. His grip on the ring box tightened. Christmas Eve was tomorrow. That meant he wouldn’t be able to give Lucy her present until after the holiday. 

He tried not to sound too upset for Lucy’s sake. He chuckled lightly and forced a smile on his face. “Hm. That’s unfortunate but not the end of the world. What’s the good news?”

“The good news is that I haven’t bought you a present yet but now I can buy an even cooler present in the city while I’m gone.” Schroeder’s smile turned real. Lucy was planning on buying me a present. Me . He laughed.

“You don’t have to get me anything, Lucy. Just promise me that I’ll be the first person you see when you get back in town.” He didn’t know where the confidence came from. Perhaps it was from the small box in his hand. 

Lucy giggled, the sound music to Schroeder’s ears. “Okay . I promise, Schroeder.” His smile spread from ear-to-ear. Maybe flirting wasn’t too hard at all.

—

Christmas time was torturous without Lucy van Pelt. Schroeder tried to make the time pass, he really did.

He went out, first thing, to buy wrapping paper from the mall. He spent time with his parents and enjoyed his mother’s German cooking. He stopped by all his friends’ houses on Christmas Day to give them their presents. He practiced a bit of the piano. He even spared some time watching television.

Schroeder laid in bed, staring at the snow falling outside his window. It was Christmas night now. His eyes drifted to the last present waiting on his desk. Lucy would be back tomorrow and he couldn’t sleep. 

It was the same feeling he had before a performance. Or the way he felt as a child when there was a class field trip the next day.

Excitement with a dash of anxiety.

—

Schroeder’s heart pounded unsteady against his ribs. He sat in his car, waiting near the neighborhood park. Lucy called him around noon to tell him to meet her here. She also said she would come pick him up, but he refused and insisted on meeting her there instead. 

He didn’t have his license yet but he needed some time to gather his courage. He made a note to take his driver’s test as soon as the snow melted.

In his lap sat Lucy’s Christmas present, wrapped pretty—as he could manage—with a classic red bow on top.  Any doubt Schroeder held for gifting her a ring was too late to act upon now. She would be here any moment.

A knock rocked him from his train of thought. Schroeder jumped and looked at the window. Lucy rapped on the passenger side window. She was swamped in a white puffer jacket and a matching scarf. She looked unbelievably cold but despite that, a joyful smile covered her face.

Schroeder quickly unlocked the car door and Lucy hopped in. He immediately noticed the loops of a small present bag around her wrist. She shivered as she shed her snow covered attire, tossing it in the backseat. As soon as she did, Schroeder got a whiff of her lily scented hair. 

“Hello, Schroeder,” she greeted happily. He let out a nervous chuckle.

“Hi.”

Lucy smiled sweetly and tucked her hair behind her ear. Schroeder blushed and rubbed his neck. The air grew thick. When choosing the convertible, he didn’t take into consideration that he wouldn’t be able to put the top down during the winter season.

Quick, say something. 

“Ummm,” he drawled. “How was your Christmas?” Lucy bit her lip and hummed in thought.

“It was good. Actually better than I expected, honestly. I got to see some of my friends I made while I lived in the city. That was nice.”

Schroeder nodded. He imagined her life before moving back. Was she popular? What type of friends did she have? Did she have any previous boyfriends?

That last question struck a chord inside Schroeder. Did she? She knew how to dance at Homecoming and she knew how to flirt, that or she was naturally gifted at making his heart beat out of control. Perhaps both were true. 

Schroeder was experiencing many firsts with Lucy. First slow dance, first matching couple outfits, nearly a first kiss, and this would be his first time giving a girl jewelry. But how many of those firsts were also hers? If any? 

Something new and indescribable bubbled in Schroeder’s gut. He didn’t know what the feeling was, but he knew that he didn’t like how it felt.

Lucy waved a hand in front of Schroeder. A concerned expression was apparent on her face. “Schroeder?” She asked, “Are you alright? You spaced out.”

He forced a smile. “Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?” Lucy clicked her tongue and playfully rolled her eyes. She then handed him the bag she brought in the car.

“Tada! Your Christmas gift!” Schroeder laughed at her uncontained enthusiasm with a shake of a head.

“I told you not to get me anything.” He said that but still, he was very much happy to receive something from her. She waved him off.

“Nonsense. You told me that I didn’t have to get you anything. Not that I shouldn’t.” Lucy then leaned over the middle console, looking more eager than Schroeder. She gestured towards the bag. “Go on. Open it!” 

It was difficult to focus on the bag when she was so close to him. Nevertheless, he dug through the purple tissue paper—a thoughtful touch—and reached for the bottom. He felt something solid and cold. Metal? It was simultaneously curvy while being straight on several sides. There was something protruding from one side that felt like a pin. The shape was so puzzling, he couldn’t guess what it was even if he tried.

“Ughhh. Why are you taking so long?” Lucy whined while tugging on his sleeve. “I’m practically dying to see if you like it or not.” 

Schroeder laughed deeply. “Okay, okay. And I’ll love it no matter what.” Lucy slumped back into her seat. She childishly pouted and crossed her arms.

“You’re just saying that. What if I got you something lame like… like socks?!” Schroeder laughed again, throwing his head back against the headrest. Was she always this funny or was he just delirious from the pleasure of her company? He couldn’t help but tease her some more.

He pulled out of the bag empty handed. “Hmm,” he pretended to think, hand on his chin, “I actually think socks would be an excellent gift. Can never not need socks.” Lucy laughed, loudly and fully. Schroeder’s need to hear her laugh again was sated. She then socked his shoulder.

“Stop messing around and open it already.” Schroeder chuckled and nodded. Finally, he reached into the bag and pulled out the weird metal object. It took a second for him to comprehend what it was. In his hand sat a miniature grand piano the size of his palm. It was surprisingly heavy for its size. His eyes widened as he inspected the details. Sleek and black with gold painted rims. All 88 keys were somehow included in the diorama.

“Woah. Lucy, this is-”

She cut him off with a bunch of seal claps. “It’s so accurate, right? And that’s not all!” She pointed to the top of the piano. “Open the lid.”

Schroeder listened and curiously opened the metal lid. Inside was, not piano wires as a normal piano would, but a gears and cylinder with tiny bumps. This tiny piano was a-

“It’s a music box! Isn’t it adorable?” Lucy finished for him. 

“What song does it play?” She smirked and tapped the crank at the back of the piano. So that was the pin he felt in the bag. Turn it and find out, her grin told him. He pursed his lips in order to hide his childlike excitement. He turned the pin several times and let go, jitters making his hand shake.

The music box clicks a few times before playing a familiar tune. The undeniable melody of Für Elise began to play.

Schroeder sat dumbly, mouth open slack, as he let the music box play out. Lucy, the same Lucy that hated the piano and Beethoven as a kid, gave him a piano-shaped music box that played Beethoven for Christmas. What beautiful reality was he living in?

The piano box, as he now decided to call it, finished its song. He couldn’t help but crank it again one more time to listen again. After the second round, the car rang with silence. He basked in the afterglow as if he was on stage performing the song himself. 

He forgot that Lucy was still in the car with him until she cleared her throat. Schroeder’s head snapped towards her. She had a nervous look on her face. She bit her lip before timidly asking, “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” He echoed. Lucy paled at his tone. This was the most impractical gift he received in all of his 18 years of Christmases. It served no purpose besides his own pleasure. And Schroeder absolutely loved it.

His serious face broke into a ferocious smile. “This is the best Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten, Lucy.” 

She let out an odd chuckle and stared at him suspiciously. She raised a brow. “The best? No way.” Schroeder shook his head in disagreement.

“No, I’m being serious, Lucy. The second best gift ever was when my parents got me that grand piano. But that was for my birthday, not for Christmas. So, technically, it doesn’t count.” 

She bursted out laughing. She laughed so hard that tears fell from her eyes. She wiped at them while letting out little satisfied sighs. When she finally calmed down, Schroeder thanked her, “Thank you, Lucy. Seriously. I love it.” She rapidly nodded with a pleased grin. 

Silence fell once more. Schroeder’s eyes glanced down at the present in his lap and his happiness dissolved like a snowflake in the summertime. Oh crap. This was the part where he gave her his present.

He lifted the box, bringing her attention to it, and suddenly felt silly. Lucy gave him an amazing gift whereas he got her a generic ring and couple pens. Embarrassment brightened his cheeks. Nonetheless, he handed that embarrassment to her.

“This is your gift. I’m sorry in advance. It’s not as good as yours.” Lucy accepted the box and let out a pfft.

“Just like you said, Schroeder. Socks are an excellent gift.” She began ripping the wrapping paper to shreds to reveal the brown box underneath. She tore open the taped box with her car keys with a uniform zip. Schroeder wanted to groan when she opened it up to find a journal. To his surprise, Lucy beamed at the sight. She grabbed it from the box and flipped through the empty pages.

“A new journal! How did you know I needed a new one? And the cover is so cute!” She removed the next item: a blue and white frilly pencil pouch. She squealed. “Oh, this pouch is so me! And you got me new pens!” She immediately uncapped the blue one and drew a streak in her palm. She let out another squeal. “Yes! Glitter! You know me so well, Schroeder. Thank you, thank you!” 

Schroeder awkwardly rubbed his neck. Lucy wasn’t good at hiding her feelings, so he knew her reaction was genuine. Relief flooded him. At least he did one thing right.

“No problem, Lucy. But there’s um- one more thing in there.” Lucy formed an “o” shape with her mouth and dove back into the box. She then pulled out the one he was dreading the most. The promise ring. 

She gasped softly as she opened the velvet box. She turned to Schroeder with wide eyes. “You got me a ring?” He nodded shyly and looked away. If she mentioned his red cheeks, he would blame it on the weather. 

“It’s pretty lame compared to your music box, isn’t it?” Lucy shook her head as she ran a thoughtful finger over the design. A lover’s knot.  

She gave him the box. He looked down and frowned but took it. He knew she would hate it. She’s already giving it back. But then, Lucy stuck out her hand, her left one.

“Would you put it on me, Schroeder?” Her voice is quiet, shy, as she looks up at him through her lashes. Schroeder sputtered with a wild expression. 

“You want me to put it on you? The ring?” She nodded slowly as she chewed on her bottom lip. Schroeder’s heart began thundering again. Could she hear it pounding in his chest? He gulped as he pulled the ring out of its cushion. 

He gently grasped her hand by the palm and nervously looked at her. “Which… finger do you want it on?” He wanted to slap himself with how pathetic he sounded. Where was that confidence from before? Lucy just had this effect on him. She shrugged and continued staring at him with those big doe eyes.

“Whichever finger you want it on, Schroeder.” 

Whichever finger- Jesus Christ.

He nodded and hovered there for a second. He contemplated desperately. Which finger? Her thumb and pinky were immediately out of the picture; the ring would either be too big or too small. The pointer? No, too odd to place it there with the design. Her middle? Maybe. It was a safe spot to have it. 

His eyes naturally went to her empty ring finger. He was inexperienced when it came to dating, but he knew what it meant to put a ring on the ring finger . There was no turning point if he did this. He knew that much too. Lucy stared at him, expecting. Waiting. Judging. There was a hint of mischief in her eyes. 

He decided that this was definitely a test for him of sorts. To see if he would commit to the implication of him buying her a ring. What are you trying to tell me, Schroeder, the Lucy in his mind taunted. His resolve hardened. If this was a test by Lucy, he wanted to pass with flying colors.

Schroeder slid the ring onto her ring finger. He did it in one fluid motion with no hesitation. When the ring hit her last knuckle, he stayed there for a moment holding her hand. Just as he thought, the ring was a perfect fit. 

His nervousness left him with a breathy sigh. “It…” It looked perfect on her finger. That was the ring that he bought on Lucy’s finger. Her ring finger, he repeated. He coughed, “It looks good on you. What do you think?” Please say you like it.

Lucy reclaimed her hand and raised it to her face.  The corner of her lip lifted. She turned to Schroeder and said in a whisper, “I love it. I was scared you were going to place it on my middle finger.” Scared? Meaning she wanted it on her ring finger. 

Schroeder shot her a cheeky grin, glad he passed her mini test. “I said I was going to show you how much I like you, right?” She nodded with a small blush spreading across the apples of her cheeks. As if summoned, his confidence returns to him. Schroeder smirked as he grabbed her hand and placed a light kiss on the ring. Lucy let out a tiny squeak. 

“Then the ring can only be in one spot, no?”

—

“Hold on!” Lucy squealed and gripped Schroeder tightly as their sled raced down the steep hill. Her laughter rang in his ears before being carried away by the wind. Schroeder was laughing too, high off of adrenaline and young love. 

Lucy jumps up when the sled slows to a stop. “Again! Again!” Lucy chants as she yanks Schroeder to his feet. Although her cheeks and the tip of her nose are pink from the cold and wind, she is eager to go again. He laughs, picking up the rope attached to the sled.

“You want to go again?” A rhetorical question. Schroeder grabs her gloved hand and tugs her along, back up the hill. He grins. “Then let’s go again.”

Kids on sleds whirl past them as they climb back to the top. Her hand is in his. The snow on their gloves melt as their hands clasp each other tightly, their heat mingling with one another. Schroeder’s body is cold, but his chest is filled with warmth. They make it back to the top of the hill, still holding each other. The frigid air burns their nostrils, but it doesn’t stop them from getting back in line. 

Their friends who joined them today are already there, setting up their own sleds. Charlie Brown is riding with Franklin and Peppermint Patty with Marcie. Sally and Linus were also somewhere here, off doing their own thing. Schroeder finds an empty spot by Charlie’s sled and positions next to him. The boy looks up at him from the snow and Schroeder winces. His friend shoots him a glare. 

Schroeder raised his arms up in defense. “Sorry. I can’t help it, man. That bruise is gnarly.” Charlie Brown rolls his eyes and tosses a handful of snow at his face. “Hey!”

“Yeah, yeah. Your face is gnarly.” His friend spits back. He gently pokes at the purple around his eye and immediately regrets it. “Fuck. Whatever, it’ll be gone before New Years. No biggie.”

Lucy stands on her tippy toes to whisper into Schroeder’s ear, “How did he get that bruise anyways?” Her warm breath tickles the shell of his ear. Schroeder chuckles quietly and leans down. 

“Heather’s dad punched him after he gave her his Christmas gift.” Lucy’s face became skewed in confusion. Schroeder pinched his lips together in order to keep from laughing. “Then her dad caught Charlie Brown trying to kiss her-” Snow pelts Schroeder again, hitting his face again. Charlie glared at him.

“I can hear you!” At this point, Schroeder can’t contain his laughs and even Lucy lets out a small giggle. Charlie Brown huffs, looking away. He grumbles, “Not all of our love lives can be as successful as yours.”

Schroeder frowned as he snuck a peak at Lucy by his side. She’s smiling awkwardly, her eyes darting away to look into the distance. They actually weren’t dating yet; he hadn’t found the perfect time to. He did, though, make a vow to himself to make it official before school started back up again. He tightened his grip on her hand slightly.

“At least you got her number though, right?” Schroeder tried consoling his friend. This makes Charlie break into a small smile.

“Yeah. I did.”

“Alright! Now that you two lovebirds are back-” Peppermint Patty trudges back to them while one-handing her sled, Marcie trailing behind her. She drops it next to Schroeder, mounts it, then says, “-let’s do a race. Losers pay for lunch.”

“Ooo. A race. I’m in,” Franklin joins in eagerly. He takes a seat behind Charlie Brown. 

Charlie groans. “A race? With you, Patty? Look, my eye’s already out of commission. What if I break a leg? Or an arm?” He throws his arms up in exasperation. Patty’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“What do you mean ‘with me?’ What the hell did I do, Chuck?” 

Charlie Brown scoffs. “Patts, you’re like, the most competitive person here. You can get a little carried away sometimes. You might push me off my sled or something.” The accused opens her mouth to defend herself but Marcie beats her to it.

“It’s true, Sir. Remember when you got so mad that you accidentally hit Schroeder with your bat?” Schroeder grimaced at the memory.

It was the summer of 8th grade and he and some friends decided to play some ball. He was an ump with no gear and Peppermint Patty was batting. Someone—he couldn’t remember who—threw some nasty curveballs her way and she missed all three swings. She did land her fourth though. Right on Schroeder’s head. And instead of a homerun, it was a trip to the hospital.

Lucy turned to Schroeder with a shocked expression. “You were hit by a bat?!” He chuckled, took off his bonnet, and lifted his hair. He bent down to her level and pointed at a spot on his upper forehead, right next to his hairline.

“See that bit of pink right there? Got 3 stitches.” Lucy gasped and lightly touched the scar with an ungloved hand. Her warm fingers were gentle as they traced the line on his forehead. The ring he bought her glistened in the sun. Although the wound had healed years ago, it was sensitive under Lucy’s inspection. 

Schroeder chuckled at her worried expression and grabbed her wrist. “I’m fine. Honestly, I think it’s because of Patty’s mean swing that I’m so good at the piano now.” Lucy shoved him with a small laugh in response to his joke. She smiled at him.

“I think you were already brilliant before though, Schroeder.”

All the snow melted off his body as his face flushed with heat. 

Peppermint Patty whistled, forcing Schroeder back to the present. She rolled her eyes but a smug grin spread across her face. “Okay, I promise not to go overboard this time. So can we please stop the flirting and get to racing?”

This time, both Lucy and Schroeder blush. Schroeder says nothing as he climbs atop the sled as they’ve done multiple times now. Lucy still doesn’t hop on, timidly standing to the side. 

“Lucy?”

“Can I-” she stops and pauses. Her face grows even more red as she mumbles shyly into her scarf, “Can I sit in front of you this time? For safety… and stuff.”

In front of him. Schroeder looked to the tiny space in between his legs and gulped. He moved his legs off and patted the spot where he just sat. His face is bright red as he nods, “Oh, sure. Go ahead.”

Lucy gives him a tight-lipped smile and finally climbs onto the sled. She folds into herself, knees to her chest. She looks up at Schroeder with innocent looking eyes. “Thanks. You can get on now.”

Schroeder tightly nods and awkwardly positions himself behind her. He swings his legs on either side of her frame, painfully aware of how tiny Lucy is compared to him. He scoots closer to her body until his feet touch the front of the sled, careful to make sure he doesn’t touch her unless necessary. Thankfully, he’s tall enough so that he’s not cramped up against her. But the sliver of space between their bodies is enough for him to have a face full of lily-scented hair. 

Was he in heaven or hell? He couldn’t tell.

“Everyone ready?” Patty asked as soon as the two were settled. A chorus of yes’s rang out.

“Get ready.”

Lucy glances over her shoulder and beams up at Schroeder. “Remember when we won that derby race as kids?” He nodded, the memory coming back to him. The two had built a killer car that wiped the competition. She was extremely bossy and wanted everything her way. She had insisted on driving it too. Now that he recalled, Schroeder believed they were sitting in a similar position; Lucy in the front and him in the back. 

“Get set.”

She grins mischievously and turns back around. She tightened her grip on the reins. Schroeder pales as he remembers another thing. Lucy was competitive too, perhaps more than Peppermint Patty.

Her voice is faint from the front, but he can hear her say, “First place is ours.”

“Go!”

Their sleds come barreling down the steep hill at full speed. Lucy leans forward and they go faster. They immediately pass Charlie Brown’s and Franklin’s sled. Schroeder instinctively looks for something to grab and wraps his arms around her waist. 

“Get down!” Lucy instructs. Schroeder obeys and leans forward. He places his chin on her shoulder and laughs loudly. He holds onto her tightly, afraid that if he doesn’t, she might come flying off. Lucy cheers when they pass Peppermint Patty and Marcie. They might actually win this thing. 

They’re going impossibly faster now. The wind speeding past their faces is as sharp as a knife and it burns his eyes. The bottom of the slope is in sight, but they don’t go any slower.

“Lucy?!” Schroeder shouts in warning. They reach the bottom but the sled still doesn’t stop. 

“I can’t slow down!” Lucy screams in distress. A tree grows in size in front of them. They were going to crash.

He curses to himself and pulls Lucy to him, her back flush against his chest. “Let go!” She lets go of the reins and grips onto his arms instead. He pulls them off  right before the sled hits the tree.

Schroeder closes his eyes as their bodies roll in the snow multiple times before finally stilling. He’s baffled to find the ground below him is plump and warm. He lifts his head, slightly dizzy, to find Lucy underneath him. Her eyes are screwed shut and her cheeks are red, stung from the wind. She lost her bonnet at some point, so her black hair is sprawled around her head like a halo. 

Schroeder doesn’t move right away as he stares down at her in awe. Lucy van Pelt was ethereally beautiful.

She groans before opening her eyes. They widen upon seeing Schroeder above her. He offers an awkward apology and quickly tries to get up, propping himself up on his arms. But Lucy holds him there, her arms coming up around his neck. Her eyes sparkle as they crinkle around the corners. She throws her head back and starts laughing. Schroeder can’t help but join her. 

“We won!” Schroeder laughed hysterically. Lucy nodded with the biggest smile on her face.

“I told you we would!” 

Their friends eventually reach where they’re buried in the snow, still laughing. Peppermint Patty placed her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. 

The girl begrudgingly says, “Okayyy, you win. You two can stop being sweet on each other now.”

Lucy releases her hold on him and Schroeder gets off her. His front side immediately grows cold. He helps her up and she graciously accepts it. She smiles up at him with a small smile and thanks him. 

Franklin whistles as he picks up Schroeder’s sled. There was now a dent in the front where it smacked into the tree. No matter, they were done for today anyways.

Schroeder keeps holding Lucy’s hand when he smugly stares at Patty.

“I believe we’re owed lunch now.”

—

Winners got to choose the food and upon Lucy’s humble request, the eight of them went to the neighborhood pizza joint. Not what Schroeder had expected from Lucy, but you could never go wrong with a slice of pizza. 

On one side of the table sat Schroeder, Lucy, Peppermint Patty, and Marcie. The other side had Franklin, Charlie Brown, Sally, and Linus. They were the only ones in the restaurant on this snowy afternoon.

Lucy moaned with delight, a long string of cheese hanging between her mouth and her slice. She swallowed and opened her eyes.

“God, I really missed this place. The city could never top this.”

Schroeder raised a brow. “Really? I would think that the city would have plenty to choose from.”  Lucy shook her head and wiped her mouth with a napkin. 

“Yes and no. There’s plenty of things to do in the city that you can’t do here and that’s including food. So, of course there’s tons of pizza places but none of them really taste like…” She paused and averted her gaze. A faint blush painted her ears red. “Taste like home, y’know.” 

Schroeder nodded and decided not to push any further. He never considered the fact that she could have missed living in this small town when she moved away. He had always wanted to move out and far away. Not that he hated living here. He just wanted to explore new places and experience new things. He still wanted to do that. 

But as he sat among his group of friends he’s known his whole life and with Lucy bunched up at his side, laughing and chatting, he began questioning that yearn for discovery. 

Franklin leaned forward from his side of the table to Peppermint Patty. “Say, Patty.” The girl turned up from her second slice of pizza, cheese dribbling from her chin. She let out a tiny Hm? “What’s the deal with New Years?” The jock continued his excited questioning, “You planning on hosting another party?”

Patty groaned and slammed her head against the table, a loud thud resulting from it. The group looked collectively alarmed and confused from her reaction, until Marcie places a hand on the distressed girl’s back and explained the situation.

“Her dad called off his usual holiday business trip so the house will unfortunately not be vacant-”

Marcie’s hand slides off when Patty’s head shot up suddenly. “Says he wants to do some ‘family bonding’ with me or something.” She says in quotation marks before throwing her arms up in exasperation. “I mean, what does that even mean?”

“Congradolences?” Sally offered confusedly. Patty waved her off and huffed, resting her head on a propped fist. 

“Yeah, it’s a bummer. Whatever. I’ll just host another party once my dad is gone again.”

Charlie Brown burped loudly. Lucy’s nose scrunched up in disgust, covering her pizza from his burp air. “Gross, Charlie Brown.”

He ignores her and says, “Or, you guys can celebrate New Year’s Eve at my show. I can give you guys free tickets, you’ll just have to buy booze at the bar.” 

“Oh yeah!” Schroeder joined in, “You did mention you had a gig at that bar downtown.”

Linus leaned over Sally, his arm still strung around her, and asked with wide eyes, “The bar will let us buy drinks?” Charlie Brown shrugged and slurped on his soda.

“They didn’t ID me the last time I tried.”

And that’s how Schroeder ended up in the passenger seat of Lucy’s dad’s car on New Year's Eve. He wore a maroon blouse that dipped uncomfortably low on his chest, the tip of the V ending right above his pecs. He never wore anything like this out before, but Patty reassured him and said it would be perfect for the occasion. 

Lucy, in the driver’s seat, wore a sparkly silver jumpsuit. Her hair was tied up nice and high, the ends curled. A matching silver headband around her forehead. Schroeder kept his eyes on her face, avoiding looking at an even lower dip than his on her outfit. 

“Thanks for driving me, Lucy. Where’s your brother by the way? He’s coming, right?”

Lucy hummed in agreement. “No problem, Schroeder. And yup, Linus is coming. He drove Sally and Charlie Brown downtown about an hour ago.” Probably so the band could set up early.

“Ah,” he replied. He stared at her clothes once more. He never saw her wear it to one of Peppermint Patty’s parties before, but there was no way she bought an outfit like that for one-time use. He decided to ask, “Have you ever been to one of these before?”

“Like, to a bar or a club?” Schroeder shrugged.

“Either.” Lucy nonchalantly hands him her wallet and tells him to open it. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Except-

“You have a fake ID?!” He gaped at the card in his hand. It looked exceptionally real. Everything was the same on her real license but her date-of-birth had a few extra years, aging her to 22.

Lucy chuckled at his reaction. “Yeah. Parties are a big thing in the city so I had that made in my junior year. Charlie Brown said we wouldn’t get IDed tonight but Linus and I brought ours just in case.” 

Schroeder stared at her in awe. He suddenly felt like Lucy was way out of his league. She was just so… cool.

They make it to the venue and Lucy parks in the nearly full parking lot. There’s no guard outside so they slip inside easily. The inside of the bar was just like another one of Peppermint Patty’s parties: it was crowded, it was loud, and it reeked of smoke and alcohol. The only thing missing was his friends.

Speaking of-

Arms sling around him and Lucy. Peppermint Patty stands in the middle of them. Marcie appears at his side and she waves.

“Hey! You guys are finally here!” 

“Has Charlie Brown gone up yet?” Marcie shakes her head in response but Patty answers again.

“Nope!” She says, popping the “p.” She yells over the music, “I think him and his band are up soon though. Wanna grab some drinks while we wait?”

Schroeder shrugs and looks to Lucy for her answer. She nods and smiles. “Sure!”

As Charlie Brown said, the bartender doesn’t ask for their IDs and serves them whatever they ask for. Schroeder takes out his wallet to pay for the first round of drinks but Lucy stops him.

“We’re keeping the tab open.” Schroeder squints. He repeats what Lucy just said slowly. Was that some sort of club lingo? She giggles and pats his arm. “It means we’ll pay later.” 

“Oh.” Schroeder awkwardly puts his wallet away and takes his drink. He got a normal beer while Lucy sipped on a margarita. The music changes and ABBA starts blasting through the speakers. Lucy gasps, downs the rest of her drink, and grabs Schroeder’s hands.

“Let’s dance, Schroeder!” She says happily, dragging him away from his friends that lingered by the bar. He chuckles and lets her pull him to the lit up dance floor. She dances like there’s no tomorrow. She laughs as she maneuvers Schroeder’s noodle arms. “Come on, Schroeder! You gotta feel the beat, just like the song says!”

He chuckles nervously but tries nonetheless. A couple more drinks and maybe his joints will get looser. He’s not as good at this as Lucy, but she seems pleased to see him moving. He leans down to her ear, his hand grazing her arm ever so slightly.

“I’m no dancer like you, Dancing Queen.” 

Maybe it was just the lighting, but Schroeder thought he saw her blush. After the song ends, they grab another drink. Then, another song that Lucy likes will play and he’s dragged back to the dance floor. Rinse and repeat.

After the cycle repeated several times, Schroeder and Lucy decided to take a break by talking to their friends. They’re both sweaty and a bit tipsy but the fun was just beginning. Peppermint Patty nearly spits out her drink and points at the stage. “Hey, it’s Chuck and them!” 

Schroeder turns his head to see Charlie Brown, Pigpen, Shermy, and another kid setting up. They’re dressed to the T, mixing hard rocker attire with the New Year’s celebration. Their band name, “Peanuts,” was stickered at the front of Pigpen’s drum set. They look like a proper band and totally not like they practice in a garage. 

Marcie grabs Patty’s forearm and tugs her with her. She turns to the rest of them, “Let’s get closer to the stage so Charles knows we’re here.”

“Good idea.”

They form a line. Peppermint Patty is the conductor, paving their way through the crowd. Marcie, Franklin, Sally, Linus, and Lucy are behind her in that order. Schroeder stayed in the back of the line, the caboose. He kept his hands light on Lucy’s shoulders. He used the extra broadness of his build to make sure that no one got too close to her. 

And it was good that he did, because a man—who was exceptionally drunk, might he add—stumbled backwards into them. The drunk only manages to bump into Schroeder’s outstretched arm before bouncing back the direction he came from like a game of Pong. Lucy doesn’t even notice.

They make their way to the front room, the stage directly in front of them. Charlie Brown spots them and smiles brightly. He squats down and pats Schroeder’s shoulder. “You guys came!” 

Schroeder scoffed. “Of course we came! Good turn out too!” The guitarist eyed the room nervously. He chuckled and shrugged.

“Yeah. It’s more people than I thought.” His friend scanned the audience like he was looking for someone.

Schroeder turned around and smiled. Red, pin straight hair stood out like a sore thumb. He looked back to Charlie Brown and said with a smug grin, “Looks like Heather made it too.” Charlie immediately glanced to where Schroeder pointed. A silly grin enveloped his face.

“She actually came.” 

Schroeder smacked his friend’s back a few times. “Now you have to play your best.” Charlie Brown gulped nervously but then his eyes darkened with determination. He nodded and stood back up; he straightened the guitar strapped to his chest and got to position. 

The lights dimmed as Charlie Brown’s mic peaked. Schroeder winced and so did Lucy in the corner of his vision. He chuckled awkwardly and firmly gripped the microphone. He tapped the mic before speaking into it.

“Hey, everyone! Thanks for coming out tonight.” He introduces the gang: Pigpen on drums, Shermy on bass, the other kid—Roy, Schroeder learns—on the guitar and lead vocals, and lastly he introduces himself as lead guitarist. The band is all smiles as Charlie Brown finishes, “Anyways, we’re Peanuts and we hope everyone has a rockin’ New Year’s Eve!”

Pigpen counts them off and the speakers start blasting with their music. The crowd goes nuts and the New Year’s party continues. Charlie Brown’s nervousness melts away. His rocker demeanor takes over with full force as soon as he starts strumming away at his guitar. 

“Wow!” Lucy exclaimed from beside him, “Charlie Brown is really good!” Schroeder nods in agreement and happily bobs his head to the music. Ages ago, he would have said he hated this type of music.

About two songs in, Peppermint Patty disappears only to reappear on the third song with Heather in tow. Schroeder sends Patty a thumbs and she wordlessly responds with a salute. Charlie Brown grins and sends Heather a casual wink. The red-haired girl’s face turns the same color as her hair.

Eventually, Peanuts’ setlist comes to an end with a deafening roar of the crowd. The group of friends are all clapping maniacally at the front row, jumping up and down. The band clears the stage and the group migrate back to the bar. After several minutes, the group of 8 turns to a party of 12 when they absorb the 4 band mates. 

Franklin howls, already drunk, with two bottles of beer in either hand. He shoves one of them into Charlie Brown’s empty hand. “Amazing, man! It’s like you were meant for the stage.” Charlie lightly socks his shoulder and shyly turns to Heather. 

“Nah. I just had a lot of support tonight, that's all.” The girl blushes as she compliments his playing. 

Pigpen and Shermy return with arms full of liquor. The bottles are passed around and they each get one. Linus proposes a toast and all of them raise their glass. “To lifelong friendships and to a rockin’ New Year! Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Their bottles clink against one another before they take a drink. A round of coughs echo throughout the table. Schroeder gags and lightly pats Lucy’s back as she can’t stop coughing. He glares at two people who grabbed the drinks.

“I thought this was just beer? What the hell is in this thing?” Pigpen grinned slyly as he took another swig from his drink.

“Might have asked the bartender to add a shot of whiskey in there.” 

“Yuck. All that whiskey stayed at the top,” Lucy breathlessly says when she finished her hacking. Heather gags in agreement and Charlie Brown shoots daggers into his friend’s skulls. 

“Not cool, guys,” Sally huffs. Linus, bemused, hands her a napkin to wipe her mouth while he nonchalantly takes another sip of the bogus drink.

Marcie shakes her head in disappointment. “You two are taken off drink duty. Let the pro handle it,” Marcie says coolly and briskly makes her way to the counter. She comes back with a new set of curated drinks. Everyone pushes their spiked beer to the side. 

“Thanks, Marcie,” Lucy said as she accepted another margarita. Schroeder offered a small thanks and took a sip of his new bottle of beer. Lucy lightly elbowed him. She stared up at him while she sipped on her cocktail. “You’re only going to drink beer, Schroeder?”

He gave her a small smile and nodded. “Yeah. Someone here has to be able to drive us all home, right?” Lucy pouted and sipped on her marg again. He chuckled and squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I’m still a bit buzzed.”

Lucy huffed and stuck her nose up in the air stubbornly. “Fine. If you’re not getting drunk, then I won’t either.”

—

Lucy van Pelt did not hold up her promise.

“Schroederrr,” Lucy slurred as she pulled on his arm. Schroeder chuckled as he glanced down at her.

“Yes, Lucy?” His date pouted and crossed her arms. He couldn’t help but let out another tiny laugh. Drunk Lucy was just a more childish version of her normal self. He entertained her poutiness, “What? Did I do something wrong?” 

She nodded stiffly and huffed. She spun around so that she wasn’t facing Schroeder. “You keep calling me Lucy.”

“And what’s wrong with that? That’s your name isn’t it?” Schroeder tried to get a glimpse of her face, but she only turned the opposite way. He chuckled, amused at her behavior.

“I want you to give me a nickname.”

“A nickname?” Schroeder raised a brow. 

“Yes.” She clarified, sounding every bit certain and not every bit drunk, “Something that only you can call me.”

Something only he could call her. His heart skipped a beat. He leaned forward, resting his head in his propped hand. A small smile played on his lips. He enjoyed this playful version of Lucy.

“What would you like me to call you then, Lucy?”

Lucy pursed her lips together and squinted; Schroeder could see the gears turning in her head. But eventually, her face relaxes and she shrugs with a giggle. “I don’t know. You should be the one picking my nickname and I’ll choose yours.” 

“Oh?” He raised an amused brow. “I get a nickname too?” Lucy nodded eagerly with a grin. 

“Well, of course. And I’ve already decided on yours. From now on, you are no longer Schroeder, but my sweetie.” Schroeder Sweetie spit out his beer and stared at Lucy, wide-eyed. His face felt warm and it wasn’t from the alcohol.

“Sweetie?!” Schroeder repeated, choking on his drink. Lucy seemed more than pleased with herself. She nodded in confirmation, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Yup. Sweetie. Now,” she paused to lean forward, her face close to Schroeder’s now. He gulped and backed away slightly only for Lucy to move in closer again. “What’s my nickname?”

Schroeder tried not to focus on the girl in front of him and instead tried to come up with a suitable nickname. A pet name like babe or sweetie was too much; he’d never be able to even use it without popping a blood vessel. 

He scratched his head. “Uhhh . What about something simple like… Luce?” Schroeder waited for her to laugh or to hate her chosen nickname, but she didn't. Instead, she hums in deliberation before nodding enthusiastically.

“Luce,” she repeats dramatically. “I like it, Sweetie.” Schroeder’s smile disappears when an arm is slung across his shoulders.

“Oh, hi there, Sweetie,” Charlie Brown teases, poking his cheek. Peppermint Patty appears from nowhere, as per usual; she had a knack for sniffing out an embarrassed Schroeder. “Does Sweetie want to get off his butt and do some partying?”

Schroeder groans and covers his face. He hoped that maybe they’ll be too drunk to remember this in the morning. Lucy giggled but swatted away the pests. 

“Don’t call him that!” She exclaimed while clinging onto him possessively. “Only I can call him Sweetie!” 

Schroeder nearly screamed himself when he felt his arm wedge between something soft and bouncy . He inwardly cried and dared not look at where his stolen arm was situated. Lord, lead me not into temptation. Amen. 

Thankfully, Marcie—the one other person who tried to stay even remotely sober—interrupted the conversation. She jabbed her thumb towards the door.

“I overheard someone say they brought fireworks and that they’re going to light them soon. Do you guys want to watch?”

“Hell yeah! Fireworks!” Marcie starts herding the group out the door like a shepherd.

Schroeder stands from his stool and offers Lucy a hand. “Shall we watch too… Luce?” He asks, using her new nickname experimentally. She smiles softly as she takes it, hopping down from the bar. 

“Lead the way, Sweetie.”

As soon as they step out, fireworks start popping. Although they were now outside, it was still crowded. Most, if not all, the people in the bar were now outside to view the spectacle. Schroeder scans the crowd, but he can’t find the friends they were just with. Marcie must have led her sheep far away.

“I can’t see them!” He informs the girl at his side, shouting over the loud booms. Lucy, still holding his hand tugs on it. She gestures to the parking lot with her head.

“Let’s go somewhere else!” Schroeder nods, thinking that was a wonderful idea, and lets the drunk girl lead him. Not his best idea, but she seemed to know where she was going and what she wanted. She stops at her dad’s car, lets go of his hand, and stretches out her arms. “Lift me up.”

Schroeder blinked at her and said, “What?” Lucy walked forward, arms still outstretched, and placed them on his shoulders. 

“Lift me up,” she said again. She stared at him expectedly then at the car. Schroeder followed her eyes and they widened.

“You want to sit on top of your dad’s new car?” Was she insane or was she just drunk? Either way, Schroeder did not want to get a scratch on her father’s expensive ride.

She sighed and placed her hands on her hips. “Duh. And I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, we won’t scratch it if we’re careful. Now lift me up, we’re missing the show.” 

Schroeder sighed heavily. “Okay,” he reluctantly agreed. He grasped her hips firmly—ignoring the fact of how soft her skin was through that thin fabric—and lifted her on top of the car. She sat on the edge of the car roof and tossed off her gogo boots; they landed on the gravel next to him. She tucked in her legs then sat criss-cross applesauce. She stared at him proudly.

She patted the roof of the car. “See? No harm done. Now it’s your turn, Sweetie.” Schroeder tugged off his shoes like she did and hoisted himself up with no problem. Lucy bit her lip and squeezed his biceps without thinking. He nearly flinches away from the sudden boldness. “I didn’t know you had muscles, Schroeder,” she mused, “I thought your source of exercise was playing the piano.”

Schroeder scoffed, offended; his face turned red. He rubbed the back of his neck and averted his gaze. He grumbled, “Of course I do. I care a lot more than just the piano, y’know.” Lucy hummed.

“I know. You care about me now too.” She grinned as if she said the most normal thing in the world. It was true, but she said it so… casually. Relaxed. He knew she was drunk but her words didn’t affect him any less.

The blush on Schroeder’s face deepened in color as he replied, “Yeah. I do.” 

Thankfully, Lucy doesn’t tease him any further. The crack of more fireworks alerts her attention. She leaned back onto the cold metal of the car and sighed happily. Schroeder copied her and laid down next to her. The space on the roof was small, so he had to scoot closer to her in order to not fall off. Their arms squish together uncomfortably and he instinctively lifts it to put behind his head, but Lucy lifts her own and presses the side of her face against his chest.

Ba-bump… Ba-bump.. Babump. Babump.

His heart rate speeds up as she snuggles into his side. All alcohol in his system that was fogging up his senses was washed out as soon as her body touched his. His body became acutely aware of every point where they were in contact. Her cheekbones digging into his pec. He could smell the lilies in her hair. Her breast pressed against his arm. 

It was all too much yet not nearly enough.

Lucy giggled and placed her small hand squarely on his chest. “Your heart is beating so fast, Schroeder.” That only made it beat faster. Lucy giggled again. Schroeder grabbed her hand and left it in his. 

“Shh. Watch the fireworks with me.”

They cuddled atop the roof of Lucy’s dad’s car as fireworks exploded into a magnitude of shapes and colors above them. It was winter and it was cold, but the heat of their bodies brought them comfort in the snow. Everything was right. Perfect, as they should be. Except-

“Will you be my girlfriend, Lucy?” He swore she stopped breathing; she was as still as stone. Time was frozen for a second, Schroeder wanted to speed it up. Another moment of suspense might stop this fast-beating heart of mine. 

Another firework cracked in the night sky before she finally spoke.

“You mean it?”

Schroeder chuckled, the vibrations shaking Lucy’s head. “Yes, I mean it.”

Lucy whimpered as she wrapped her arm across his chest. “What if I forget in the morning that we’re dating?” Schroeder smiled. He lifted his head to plant a kiss to her hair.

“Then I’ll ask you out again in the morning.” 

Lucy sat up and placed that splayed arm on the other side of his body. Schroeder’s eyes widened as she pinned him down. She leaned down near his lips.

“Promise?” 

He stared at her, wide-eyed and mouth slack. His mind turned muddied again as her warm breath fanned his cold lips. Schroeder was completely at Lucy van Pelt’s mercy. He absentmindedly nodded.

“I promise.” Lucy smiled sweetly and gave him a small peck on the cheek before laying back down on his chest. He finally releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding; the warm air of his lungs misting the air in front of him. 

They watched the firework show on top of the roof in its entirety. It was all a blur to Schroeder though because his mind could only focus on one thing: He’d be dating Lucy van Pelt by the morning light.

Chapter Text

Schroeder called up Lucy van Pelt first thing in the morning. He slept for—maybe—only four hours, but his anxiety woke him up. Sleep was still in his eyes by the time she finally answered. She groaned on the other line, probably because she was hungover.

“Hello?” She answered groggily before loudly yawning. He imagined her hair was nappy from the night before, uncombed and tangled. Maybe some of her makeup streaked down her face. Schroeder rubbed his eyes and smiled sleepily.

“Good morning, Luce.” The new nickname slipped out of his mouth easily and unrestrained. It was silent for a moment, and only for a moment, before a bang thundered from her line. It immediately wakes Schroeder up. He grasped the phone with both hands. “Lucy?! Are you okay? What happened?”

She groaned again, this time fainter, as if she was farther away. He heard shuffling, like someone was crawling across the floor, and then he finally heard her shaky breaths.

“Lucy?” Schroeder asked again, softly. 

“Hello, Schroeder,” Lucy replied, her voice sounding pained. 

“Uhhh,” he drawed out, “Are you… okay?” 

“Yup. ‘m fine. Totally did not just fall to the floor.” Schroeder frowned. Maybe he shouldn’t have called her so early after staying up so late last night.

“I’m sorry. I should have just called you later-”

“No! It’s-” she sighed. Her voice lowered to a whisper, “It’s fine, Schroeder. I’m… glad you called.” 

Schroeder grinned. “Yeah?” Lucy giggled, sounding much more awake.

“Yeah.”

“So,” Schroeder paused to puff air into his cheeks. Here goes nothing. He exhaled. “Do you… remember last night?” Lucy was silent and he began to worry that she actually didn’t remember him asking her out. He prepared himself for it and told himself that he would fulfill his promise to her. If she forgot, I would just have to ask her out again. I did it once, I can do it again. No biggie.

He kept telling himself that.

But then, Lucy giggled, the sound instantly easing his worked up nerves. “Yes. I remember everything, Sweetie.” 

—

It’s Monday morning and the first day back to school. Schroeder stood outside as he waited for Lucy. 

It was finally happening. They were going to school together. They were going to enter homeroom together. Maybe they might even eat lunch together. Then, they were going to go home together. 

Everyone would know they were together. Him and Lucy van Pelt. 

Schroeder hummed, amused, to himself. Young Schroeder would be bashing his head against his toy piano if he knew the fate he had willingly given himself.

Some things don’t change, but his view on Lucy definitely has. 

A slam of a car door snapped him back into reality. Lucy is stepping out of her brother’s car, backpack slung over one shoulder. She waved and gave her sibling a flying kiss. “Thanks, Linus! Love ya.” 

Linus waves her off. “Yeah, yeah.” The greaser lowers his sunglasses to the tip of his nose, staring down Schroeder. “Get ya license already, will ya Loverboy? So you can start picking her up instead.” Schroeder flushed in embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck.

He awkwardly waved at Linus. “Uh, yeah. Working on it. Will do that soon.” Her brother nodded, satisfied, before peeling out of his driveway. Lucy skipped over to Schroeder, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. He’s slightly taken aback, touching the spot she just pecked. 

“Hi to you too.”

Was this the norm when people dated? A perk? If so, he’d need some time getting used to that.

She grinned up at Schroeder. “Don’t mind my little brother, he’s just trying to give you a hard time. I don’t mind driving us to school.” He’s pulled out of his dazed stupor. He grabs Lucy’s backpack and reaches for her hand.

“No, Linus is right. I should be the one picking you up.” Lucy frowns and playfully swings their arms back and forth.

“He was just poking fun, Sweetie.” Sweetie. He’d need to get used to that nickname too.

“I know,” Schroeder sighed. He led her to his car and unlocked it. “But that doesn’t mean he isn’t right.” He opened the passenger door and gestured for her to sit. “So until I get my license, the least I can do is drive you.” 

Lucy raised a brow and crossed her arms. “You’re being dramatic.” Schroeder shrugged and helped her into the car. He smiled when he saw that she was wearing the promise ring.

“Maybe to you. But I’m just trying to be the most perfect boyfriend for you,” he finished off with a kiss to her hand. Lucy blushed furiously. She snatched her hand away to hide her red face.

“Jeez, you’re-” Lucy sputtered, unable to find the words. She groaned and cutely glared up at Schroeder, her face red. “Just get in the car before I kiss you.” 

Schroeder grinned. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, but yes ma’am.” He gently shut the car door and ran to the driver’s side. His cheeks felt warm compared to the winter chill that swarmed them. 

Schroeder had never felt so alive.

They arrived at school. Schroeder parked the car and unbuckled.

“Alrighty,” he announced nervously, jitters creeping through him. This was it. The whole school would soon know of their relationship. It excited him as much as it scared him. Some students were already eyeing his car; he had never driven his convertible to school before. 

Lucy stayed seated in the passenger seat, already trained to know better than to try to open her own door. Schroeder got out of the car and jogged over to her side. He became acutely aware of the eyes on him now. He was glad that he decided to dress nicely today.

He opened Lucy’s door and helped her out. She stepped out of the car gracefully and confidently. Schroeder grabbed their bags and shut the door. He stood next to her, unsure of what to do next. How this dating stuff turned out better in his imagination.

Lucy grabbed his hand and intertwined them. Schroeder stared at their interlocked fingers in amazement, not quite wrapping his around the fact that they were really dating. She smiled softly at him, looking a little unsure herself. Yet, she didn’t let go.

“Is this… okay?” Schroeder nodded frantically. He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. Her hopeful eyes became too much for Schroeder as he averted his gaze.

“Yeah. Yeah, this… this is nice.” Lucy nodded and pulled him toward the school’s entrance. 

If there were a lot of people watching them in the parking lot, then it only became worse as soon as they stepped inside the building. It was like the two were animals in a zoo or specimen underneath a microscope. Prying eyes stared on in curiosity. Or was judgement the lens they were looking through? Schroeder, the antisocial, piano-obsessed, nerd was holding hands with Lucy van Pelt, the pretty, smart, popular new girl from the city .

He shifted uncomfortably under their gaze. Was their relationship really that unexpected? 

Lucy, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind the stares they received. She didn’t flinch or shy away. Her only response to them came from her sticking her nose up in the air, defiant. Her body language screamed pride. She was not ashamed to be seen holding his hand. 

If she was this confident, shouldn’t he be too? Schroeder tried to relax and straightened his back. He didn’t want to give off the impression that he was embarrassed of their relationship. Not at all. Never with Lucy.

Lucy seemed to notice Schroeder’s change and squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked down at her and she had a big smile on her face. He returned it and kissed her hand. Whispers went off around them but now he didn’t care. It was him and Lucy against the world. 

They make a pit stop at the lockers, the amount of eyes looking at them lessen. Lucy is inputting her lock combo when she asks him, “Do you want to eat lunch together? I’m sure my friends would like to meet you properly.”

Schroeder nodded with a smile. He’d been watching her during lunch for months now. Now, he’d finally get to sit next to her. “Sure, Luce. I’d love to.”

They make it to homeroom and Schroeder is immediately jumped by Charlie Brown and Peppermint Party. 

“Ack-” Schroeder yelps when they pull him away from Lucy. Charlie Brown ruffles his hair incessantly. He shakes him off with a huff. “Quit it, man.”

Peppermint Patty winked at Lucy, tugging Schroeder away. “Mind if we steal Schroeder away, Lucy? No? Thanks.” He’s whisked away before he can even complain. 

They practically throw him to his assigned desk. Schroeder grips the sides of the desk, having to regain balance from his chair tipping backwards. “Jeeze-”

Patty gripped his shoulders and shook him back and forth. “You actually did it! You sly dog, why didn’t you tell us?!” Schroeder pried her hands off.

“Tell you guys what? That I asked Lucy out?” She placed her hands on her hips and deadpanned.

“That I asked Lucy out,” she mocks before clarifying, “Duh! Me and Chuck had to hear it from the gossip first. When did it become official?” Schroeder rubbed the back of his neck. He panned over to Lucy, his girlfriend, and smiled as her own friends were harassing her for answers as well. She must have felt his staring, because she looks over, blue to brown eyes locking. She gave him a shy smile.

“I asked her out on New Years. During the fireworks.” 

Charlie Brown whistled and slapped his back. His friend chuckled. “Wow. That nickname really sealed the deal for you, huh?” Schroeder rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his face.

“No. I was already going to ask her to be my girlfriend. I just needed to find the right time.” And the fireworks seemed to be the most romantic opportunity yet.

The bell rang and the teacher walked in, oblivious to the development around her. Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty dispersed and left Schroeder alone, promising to ask him for details later. He sighed and pulled out his winter break homework. 

Class droned on but all he could think about was his girlfriend.

—

5th period ended and he immediately left the classroom. He was more than eager to leave the torturous boredom of history and leap into his girlfriend’s arms. His girlfriend . He would be having lunch with his girlfriend. Schroeder grinned, giddy with excitement.

He practically ran to the cafeteria and ignored everyone’s judging stares as he pushed past them. His eyes immediately landed on Lucy’s usual table. She wasn’t there yet, but her clique was. He approached them slowly, excitement making way for nervousness. Patty and Violet notice him and they give him a small smile before offering him a shy wave. If they held any grudge towards him from Halloween, the cheerleaders didn’t outwardly show it. 

Franklin arrived at the same time, lunch tray in tow. He grinned when he saw Schroeder. 

The baseball player raised his arms up for a hug. “It’s the man of the gossip himself!” They hugged each other as if they didn’t just see each other just a few days ago. “I guess the rumors are true if you’re here and not with Charlie Brown.” Schroeder smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, it’s true. Actually, Lucy wanted to introduce me to you guys, formally, as her um- boyfriend, I guess. Where is she though?” Lunch started five minutes ago; the majority of the school was already here. They all turned their heads to scan the cafeteria. Still, no Lucy in sight. Violet hummed in thought, brows furrowed.

“She’s usually here by now. Maybe she’s still at her locker?” The tan cheerleader offered. Schroeder nodded and excused himself. Maybe he could catch her on the way to lunch.

Schroeder made his way to Lucy’s locker, the opposite way he just came from. The hallways were empty; he peered into neighboring classrooms but they were also empty. Where was Lucy?

He heard two voices, both female, around the corner. He stopped jogging, slowing to a walk, as he followed the voices. He spotted Lucy immediately, her back was to him. In front of her, another girl’s face was obscured, but Schroeder recognized the bundle of red curls.

The two didn’t notice him approaching. Frieda continued talking while he got closer. 

“I just thought I’d tell you, Lucy. Since you’re new here and all. It’s only kind of me-” 

Schroeder didn’t know the context of their conversation, but his stomach contorted uncomfortably. He cut off Frieda, “Hey, Luce.” 

The two girls whirled around upon Schroeder’s entrance. Frieda’s eyes widened to the point where they were bulging out of their sockets. Lucy flushed and she pinched her lips together into a stiff smile. She looked visibly uncomfortable. “Hey. What are you doing here?” 

Schroeder swallowed his concerns and shook his head. He kept a neutral smile on his face as he stuck his hands into his pant pockets. 

“Me and your friends were waiting for you. I thought you wanted to eat lunch together, remember?” Lucy formed an “o” with her mouth and glanced at Frieda unsurely. Schroeder squinted at her accusingly. What the hell did she say to Lucy? The red head pursed her lips into a straight line. When she noticed Schroeder’s cold stare, she stiffened and switched to a smile.

Frieda waved at him, the gesture insincere. “Hi, Schroeder.” 

Schroeder ignored her and stared at Lucy, gauging her reaction. He knew the signs of her body in the back of his hand like music theory; it was all stored in his Lucy Corner. She was tense; her shoulders basically up to her ears. She kept her hands tucked in front of her; she clenched her textbooks tightly. Something was wrong.

How could he make this better? Whatever “this” was. How could he make her feel more relaxed?

Schroeder pulled out his inner performer, the person he usually reserved for recitals. He extended his hand to her with a goofy smile. “Ready to go?”

Lucy, finally giving him a real smile, took his hand with a nod. “Yup.” He grinned and tugged her to him.

“Let’s go then.”

Schroeder subtly pulled Lucy down the empty hallway, leaving a baffled Frieda in the dust. When the curly-haired girl was out of earshot, he dropped the nonchalant act. 

“What did you and Frieda talk about?” Lucy didn’t answer right away. He could tell she was debating with herself on what to tell him; she was chewing on her bottom lip. Schroeder added, “She said something about me, didn’t she?” When she didn’t outright deny him, he huffed in annoyance. “What did she say?”

Lucy pulled back, requesting her hand back. Schroeder let go, albeit a bit disappointed, with a deep-seated frown. The two of them stilled in the hallway as they stood in front of each other. She shifted, looking down at her feet. 

Finally, she said, “Frieda told me that she had a crush on you.” Had? From the sound of it, he was pretty sure that it was still viable in the present tense. He crossed his arms and tilted his head. He

“Okay. So?”

Lucy pouted, one of her cheeks puffing out. “So, she told me that you’ve rejected her. A lot.” Schroeder blinked, confused where this was heading. He confirmed the fact that he deflected all of Frieda’s advances. Lucy sighed and turned away. “She also said that you’ve rejected her because you didn’t have any intention of dating during highschool.” Ah . Schroeder put his hands on his hips.

“So now you’re wondering why I’m dating you?” He finished for her. She didn’t respond, still facing away from him. He sighed and gently turned her around. She didn’t resist. “That’s what’s bothering you?” Lucy shrugged but he knew he had pinpointed her insecurity. 

“Then why? Frieda is a nice girl and you’ve known her longer than me. And she’s pretty. So why me?” She gestured to herself, emphasizing the question by roughly banging on her chest. Schroeder listened to her concerns, genuinely, but he couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Lucy glared up at him and lightly punched his chest. “It’s not funny, Schroeder. I’m being serious. I’m starting to think that dating me was just some impulsive decision from you.”

Schroeder shook his head with a smile. “Would it be so bad if I said it was impulsive? That I decided to ask you to be my girlfriend because I simply wanted to?” Lucy opened her mouth and closed it again. Yes and no, she would be telling herself. She bit down on her lip instead.

“I stopped worrying myself with what-ifs and began asking myself why not? Is that wrong?”

“But Frieda-”

“I don’t like Frieda,” he cut her off immediately, his tone clipped. “Never have, never will. Not romantically at least. You, on the other hand-” Confidence filled him, fueling him to slowly back Lucy into a nearby locker. She gasped when he cornered her, his arms trapping her between him. Her face turned bright red and she attempted to avert her gaze, but Schroeder wouldn’t let her. He tipped her chin up with a tiny smile. Her warm, brown eyes blinked up at him with unfiltered desire. Something similar mirrored in him.

It filled him with pride to know that he could make Lucy just as flustered as she made him. It solidified the fact that they were, in fact, boyfriend and girlfriend.

“I… have wanted you… ever since you came back into my life, Lucy van Pelt. I didn’t realize it then but it’s undeniable now. I should have held onto you tighter when we were kids. I… didn’t realize how good I had it back then.” 

Lucy was his apple, his desire the snake. Schroeder, like humanity, was doomed from the start.

Lucy gulped, her eyes not leaving his. “You mean that?” He nodded and tucked a piece of black hair behind her ear. She subtly shivered when his finger touched her ear.

Schroeder leaned in. Lucy closed her eyes. He grinned and pressed his lips to her head. “Yes. Every bit of it.”

Lucy’s eyes opened slowly when Schroeder finally backed away. She was visibly surprised, face flushed. Schroeder grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the cafeteria. 

“Come on. Don’t you want to introduce your boyfriend to your friends?”

—

Today, Lucy sat with Schroeder at Charlie Brown’s table. The two had agreed to alternate where they ate lunch just so they wouldn’t be one of those couples that completely isolated themselves. 

Charlie Brown nudged Schroeder’s elbow, biting into his cafeteria burger. His mouth full, he asked Schroeder, “What are you doing for your birthday? Patts wanted to throw a party for you if you weren’t doing anything.” Schroeder grimaced. He shook his head.

“No parties. Please. I can’t deal with all that attention. But, we could do something small? Like, just gather the usual and grab food or something.” Charlie gave him an “ok” sign and went back to his food. 

Lucy, who sat beside him, turned and raised a brow. “When’s your birthday?” Schroeder thought briefly, calculating the days in his head, before answering.

“Next Wednesday.” Lucy slammed her hands onto the table. The Peanuts band jumped and stared. Schroeder flinched.

“What?!” He blinked at her.

“I said my birthday is-”

“I heard what you said, Schroeder! Why didn’t you tell me that your birthday was so soon? I would have totally missed it if Charlie Brown didn’t mention it.” Lucy looked panicked as she pulled onto her hair. She glared at him fiercely. 

Schroeder gulped. Was he… in trouble? His palms started sweating. He didn’t even feel this scared when his mother scolded him.

Charlie Brown leaned over and informed her, “Schroeder’s been like this, Lucy. He hates celebrating his birthday.” Schroeder frowned and scratched his head. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say I hate it.” He just didn’t think it was a big deal. 

Lucy sighed. She closed her eyes and rubbed at her temples. She opened them and stared at Schroeder with determination.

“That’s too bad then. Because we are celebrating your birthday. You hear me, Sweetie? Cel-luh-brate-ing,” she enunciated loudly. Charlie Brown and the others nodded in agreement, pitching in their own versions of “Schroeder is so lame.” Schroeder smiled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“And what exactly did you have in mind?”

—

Schroeder didn’t know what he expected. Matter of fact, he had no expectations for his birthday “celebration” that his girlfriend had planned without his knowing.

A casual dinner? A small get-together? I don’t know. He definitely didn’t think Lucy would rent out a whole movie theatre using her own pocket money and some help with his parents. 

On a busy Friday night, Schroeder and his friends had a whole theatre screen to themselves to play any movie they’d like up until closing. It was ridiculous. Ridiculous in a “no way that this is all for me” sort of way. But this ridiculousness was all for him. And it was all conducted by his girlfriend, Lucy.

Although she had merely a week to plan, Lucy was efficient and well-thought. She had every plan to throw Schroeder the best birthday ever. She told him that she wanted to throw something that “he’d never forget” while also taking his own taste into consideration. 

She chose all his favorite movies, sci-fi mostly, thanks to his parents telling. She requested that everyone not bring him a present, because then “Schroeder would be too upset if we spent too much on him, so just bring some snacks we could eat while watching.” As his only request, she kept the guest list small, only inviting their closest friends. 

This birthday was perfect. Everything was perfect. His girlfriend was perfect.

Their friends were scattered across the theatre. Lucy’s friends, Patty and Violet, were just a row down to the right. Peppermint Patty and Marcie sat near the front, the sporty girl’s legs splayed out on top of the seat in front of her. Charlie Brown and Franklin were near the aisle. Linus and Sally were in the middle, in perfect sight of the overprotective Charlie Brown. Schroeder and Lucy chose the back, right underneath the projector room. It was darker back there, their faces veiled by the projection looming above

The lights flashed red and blue as a duel in space happened on the big screen. Schroeder snuck a glance over at Lucy. He could barely make out the shape of her face asides from the light that reflected off the whites of her eyes. Then he glanced down at their hands. They were intertwined and they’ve been like that every chance they could. 

“What’s wrong?” Schroeder looked back up and at Lucy who now stared at him with worry. He shook his head with a smile. He doesn’t know if she can even see it.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Her head bobbed up and down in the darkness. A nod.

“You sure?”

Schroeder chuckled quietly. “Yes. I’m absolutely positive.”

“Okay. I just want to make sure because-”

“Because you want everything to be perfect? Yes, Luce. I know and don’t worry, it is.” Lucy smiled, teeth and all. 

“Oh. Let me give you this before I forget.” She ducked down and reached for something under her seat. She pulled out a box a little over the size of her palm. She blindly reached for Schroeder’s hand in the dark and handed the parcel to him.

“What’s this?”

“Your birthday present, of course,” she whispered. Schroeder brows furrowed as he tilted his head.

“I thought you told everyone not to get me gifts?”

She clicked her tongue and hushed him. “Shh. I don’t want anyone to hear. But to answer your question, I’m the party host and the celebrant’s girlfriend. I believe I’m exempt from my own rules.” She leaned over to him and Schroeder could now clearly see her excitement. “Now open it.”

Not daring to deny the host any longer, Schroeder opened the small box. He couldn’t see what it was so he held it closer to his face. He let out a small gasp to find a necklace. It was a dog tag of some sort but instead of his name, “S + L” was engraved above a music note.

“I originally wanted to give you a promise ring like you gave to me for Christmas. But then I remembered the whole piano thing, and thought that a ring or bracelet would probably get in the way of your playing. Which means you’d have to take it off frequently and then you might lose it if you take it off too much. A necklace was the next best thing I could think of.” Lucy ends her rambling and Schroeder is left speechless. She had really thought of everything.

In a week, she had planned out his entire party—booked and ready— and also found him a thoughtful present. As if organizing this whole event wasn’t enough. Lucy van Pelt was heaven sent.

“Lucy, I-” Schroeder choked on his words. He couldn’t seem to form a thank you strong enough to give her. I could kiss you right now, he thought to himself. Lucy grinned and turned her head. As if reading his mind, she tapped her cheek.

“I know, I know. ‘You’re amazing. I don’t know how to thank you.’ That’s fine. A kiss on the cheek will do.” Schroeder didn’t think twice to plant a fat kiss onto her cheek. Lucy giggled as he peppered her face in kisses. 

Popcorn was tossed at the two. Grossed out moans echoed throughout the theatre.

“Get a room!”

—

Lucy wanted to go ice skating before all the snow melted so Schroeder took her to the lake. Luckily, the surface was still covered in a sheet of ice, but they were cutting it close. Still, he was determined to make it happen and with something a little extra.

Schroeder spread the picnic blanket on a patch of grass where the snow had melted slightly. The sun was out today and provided enough warmth to sit outside. His girlfriend kicked off her shoes and plopped onto the blanket with a happy sigh. She spread out their food: egg sandwiches, fruit salad, and a couple slices of a leftover carrot cake. All of it, of course, was made by Lucy herself.

Schroeder moaned as he took a bite of his sandwich. Even a simple egg spread was made sensational in Lucy’s hands. She giggled as he licked his fingers and reached for a second serving. “Have I ever told you that you’re an amazing cook?” 

Lucy hummed while chewing on the salad. Her eyes twinkled mischievously. “I think you’ve said that maybe once or twice.” Good. He’d tell her that as many times as she’d desire as long as she kept cooking for him.

The two of them finish up their lunch out on the blanket. After cleaning up, Lucy pulled out a pair of pearly white ice skates; the two shoes were neatly attached together by their laces. She raised a brow. “You brought your own skates, right?”

Schroeder nodded and grabbed his own; black hockey skates, laces undone. “Yup.”

Schroeder tied up his skates. Lucy huffed in irritation as she struggled with hers. She groaned and stood back up, stretching her back. “How did you do yours so quickly? No matter how many times I tie mine, they still feel too loose.” She wiggled her foot and, sure enough, there was a gap between her skate and ankle.

Schroeder shuffled on the blanket, careful to not hit her with his skates. He gestured to her shoes. “May I?” Lucy stopped her fussing and looked down at Schroeder. He was already knelt at her feet, looking up at her expectantly. Lucy’s face reddened. She bit her lip and hid her face into her scarf. She nodded timidly, refusing to look at him.

Schroeder smiled, a blush formed mirroring her own. He took his time, starting with one foot, tightening her laces starting from the toe up to the ankle. 

“Woah.” Lucy lost her balance, arms flailing to the sides. He stopped tying and let go of her skate. His hands fly out reflexively. He grabbed her firmly, stilling her at her lower waist, and sharply inhaled. Schroeder could feel her hip bones underneath his fingertips. And under his palm, her fleshy hips. 

Tying her shoes was an innocent act in and of itself, so why was his mind so keen on knowing how her body felt? 

“Hold on to my shoulders,” he instructed, sounding slightly out of breath. Lucy obliged, balancing herself by gripping onto his shoulders. Her shadow cast itself upon him; a very much accentuated outline of her body laid on the ground in front of him. The curves of her body became valleys. Canyons, even- He stopped himself. Don’t be “one of those guys.” Matter of fact, don’t even think about anything at all, he warned himself. He focused all his attention on finishing one foot and repeating the same to the other, all the while ignoring the heat growing on his face, before patting his hands and quickly standing back up. Another crisis with temptation averted. 

Everyday he grew closer to his girlfriend was like balancing on a thin tightrope. 

“Thanks,” Lucy said softly, letting go of his shoulders. Schroeder nodded, a little tense. She scanned the frozen lake suspiciously. She, nervously, lightly tapped the ice with her toe pick. She glanced up at Schroeder, eyes wide with stress. “Is it safe? I can’t tell.” 

Schroeder shrugged and put all his weight onto one foot, pressing down onto the ice. No sign or sound of cracking. He then put both feet onto the ice and skated forward a little. He jumped. The lake remained still.

Lucy hissed and waved him down angrily. “Schroeder! You’re not being careful!” In the midst of her scolding, she tripped from the sloped lake bed. She would have fallen flat on her face if he didn’t catch her in time. Thank goodness he was decent on skates.

She yelped as Schroeder caught her by the upper arms, keeping her upright. Although his heart was beating a million times per minute, he chuckled.

“Don’t tell me Lucy van Pelt can’t balance on skates? Where did that Dancing Queen go from New Year’s? The one that could dance in 5 inch heels?” 

Lucy scoffed and pushed him away. Schroeder easily regained his balance. Another chuckle left his lips when he saw his girlfriend glare at him. She crossed her arms stubbornly. Was he crazy to think that she looked kinda cute when she was mad? Maybe he was just an undiagnosed masochist.

“Of course I know how to skate,” she retorted, “I just tripped because a certain blockhead is unaware of the potential dangers of skating on a random frozen lake.” Wanting to play with a bit of fire, Schroeder skated towards his pouty girlfriend and grabbed her arms. He held onto her hands tightly as he slowly skated backwards heading towards the center of the lake. 

“It’s not a random lake, Luce,” he started. He slowly guided her around, letting her gain more confidence in her skating every foot they traveled. “I learnt how to skate here with my father, probably you did too with your own dad. This is the lake of my childhood. Of our childhood, actually.” Everyone in town skated here. It was a large enough lake and it froze evenly during the winter. Schroeder was surprised that she hadn’t immediately recognized the iconic body of water. Lucy’s eyes widened as she peered around. Realization would be hitting her now.

“This is that lake?” Schroeder nodded. She didn’t notice that he had picked up the pace. She smiled and began kicking off on her own. “It’s a lot smaller than I remembered.” He chuckled and let go of one of her hands. She was skating next to him now.

He grinned and decided to tease her, “Why? Lakes in the city are bigger or something?” Lucy chuckled as she shook her head. Wind began pushing her bangs to the side.

“There are no lakes in the city. Skating rinks are the only places to go skate.” They did a lap around the lake.

“Which would you prefer then? An artificial skating rink or ‘a random frozen lake?’” Lucy rolled her eyes playfully. Her confidence came back and she let go of his other hand. One foot over the other, she turned around as she talked to him. She crossed her arms, her hair coming onto her face

“A skating rink is definitely safer than a lake,” Lucy replied in a matter-of-factly tone. She whirled back around and skated next to Schroeder. He slowed down, making sure to match her pace. 

“But,” Lucy added thoughtfully, pausing. She reached for his hand. “I think I prefer this.” 

Schroeder blushed but didn’t look away. “This?” Lucy hummed, nodding.

“This. Here,” she clarified, waving her arm around to their surroundings. The evergreen around them rustled in agreement. “Skating with you. Out in nature.” 

“Flirt.” Schroeder grinned. That unfamiliar twisting, gut wrenching feeling from Christmas reappeared. His smile faded. “Lucy, did you have any previous relationships?”

Lucy chuckled, seemingly unbothered by his outburst. “You mean a past boyfriend? Where did this come from?” Schroeder shrugged, a blush forming on his face. He didn’t know where that question came from. All he knew was that the thought of her having been with someone else made his stomach queasy. 

“Did you? Have a boyfriend, I mean.” 

“Yeah, I did,” Lucy responded simply. Blood left Schroeder’s face. “I had a couple here and there but none of them were actually serious.” 

Lucy had a boyfriend. Several by the sounds of it. It solidified the assumption he held that Schroeder was, in fact, not her first. But of course I wasn’t her first. She’s smart, pretty, funny- There was no way that I was the first guy to see that , he reminded himself. It would have been more of a mystery if Lucy van Pelt had no previous relationships. 

Lucy noticed his change of demeanor and stopped them in their tracts. She turned to him, wide eyes blinking rapidly. “Schroeder, are you… jealous?”

Jealous? The guy who never flirted with a woman until Lucy. The guy who had no prior interest in dating before Lucy. Him, Schroeder, jealous? Impossible.

It wasn’t possible. Yet, the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach remained. Was Lucy right? Was this gritty sensation jealousy?

As if reading his mind, Lucy laughed. She held Schroeder’s shoulder as she doubled over in laughter. “Oh my gosh! You are jealous!” 

Schroeder’s face burned uncomfortably hot. He tried to avert his gaze, but Lucy wouldn’t allow him. She grabbed onto his face with both hands and forced him to look at her. She was smiling unbelievably wide and her eyes crinkled at the edges. She genuinely thought his current state was hilarious.

“My! I thought I’d never see the day. Ten years without me has really changed you, Sweetie.” 

“Whatever,” he grumbled embarrassingly. Lucy chuckled and patronizingly patted his cheek.

“If it makes you feel any better, none of them took me to a real lake to ice skate before.” Yeah, that didn’t make him feel any better. He frowned.

“Wowww,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “The bar is set really high.” Lucy chuckled and playfully punched him. She then drifted forward. He noticed her feet were wrongfully positioned side by side instead of outwards. She would trip and fall again. He was going to correct her stance but as her skates slid closer and closer, his mind drew a blank. This was intentional. Lucy stopped right in front of him, her feet sandwiched between his. 

Schroeder laid his hand on the side of her shoulders out of reflex. His breath caught in his throat when she wrapped her arms around him. She was so tiny, her arms couldn’t connect behind his back. She stared up at him, doe eyes slowly blinking, her chin against his chest. He gulped. 

She was so cute, he thought, Lord help me.

“You’re the one who set the standards so high, Schroeder.” He could feel everything. The chill in the air that cut his cheeks. The sound of trees rustling around him. The warmth of Lucy’s body. That body pressed against his. The look of genuine happiness in his girlfriend’s eyes. 

The hands at her shoulders lowered. They were slow in their descent, as if trying to memorize the plane of muscle underneath. His hands moved down from her arms to her sides until landing at her delicate hips. The swell of them made his venture stop and he tightened his grip almost possessively. 

“You’re just saying that-” Schroeder whispered. One hand decided to crawl back upwards. The back of his fingernail scraped along her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. That hand settled to her face and caressed it softly. “-Because I’m your current boyfriend.”

She did not flinch. She did not gasp. Lucy leaned into his palm and sighed contently. Her own hand cupped his, keeping him there. 

Schroeder had a hard time believing that this was his reality. A reality where Lucy van Pelt was in his arms and staring at him with such… affection.

“I’m saying that because you are my boyfriend. Even if you aren’t my first, that doesn’t mean I’ve settled for less. If anything, I’ve gotten much more.” Because why would a girl like Lucy van Pelt ever settle for anything less than the best?

Schroeder dared a glance down to her lips. Her mouth was parted, warm air visible in the cold sky. They seemed plumper, pinker. Something in the air shifted. His body grew hotter and it felt like Lucy’s had too. A spark had been lit. He watched as her eyes grew darker, her pupils dilated. Her gaze shifted between Schroeder’s eyes to his mouth and she didn’t try to hide it.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have pretty eyes, Schroeder?” He chuckled, the sound coming out strangled.

“I think you’ve said that once… a long while ago.”

He leaned in closer, entranced by her soft words and her even softer looking lips. He scanned her face for any sign of hesitation or doubt, but all he found was lust and longing. He wondered what he looked like in her eyes. Perhaps the same.

“Schroeder,” Lucy whispered, his name sounding like a hopeful prayer. The arms at his waist found themselves draped around his neck. Her arms didn’t move but it felt like she was beckoning him forward. 

“Lucy.” Schroeder places his other hand on her cheek, her delicate face now in his hands. She made a small sound, a whimper, and it stirred something inside him. 

He leaned in, their noses touching, their lips nearly. Her breath fanned his lips and Schroeder nearly kissed her then and there. He mindlessly swiped his thumb across her bottom lip. It was plump and soft and when it bounced back, he could feel the chains around his neck strain from the pressure.

“Can I kiss you?” The question was desperate. Begging. He needed to kiss her. He’s been dreaming of those lips for months now with no reprieve. How did they feel? How did she taste? The Lucy Corner of his brain had taken over all control, eager to store new information. And he willingly gave it the power.

He waited with bated breath for her response. Put me out of misery.

“Yes,” Lucy responded quietly but urgently, “Please.”

Whatever unseen force holding him back finally let go. Schroeder wasted no time slamming his lips onto hers. He was on fire and her kiss was the only way to douse it. Her lips were softer than he imagined; they threatened to swallow him whole. 

He gasped for air and dove back in. Lucy’s eyes fluttered close with a gasp, pulling him in closer. He kissed her harder, pushing himself deeper in order to fulfill a selfish need to get closer. Schroeder then realized he had no idea what he was doing. 

Was I being too demanding? Too harsh? Did she like it? How do I make her like it more?

“I don’t… know… what I’m… doing,” Schroeder admitted in between breaths. Lucy hummed, the vibration electrifying his lips. She pulled away briefly and Schroeder opened his eyes. She was panting, out of breath just as he was. Her cheeks were flush. Her lips were puffy after being brutalized by Schroeder’s greed. Looking at her, he felt no pity; he only wanted to do it again. He wanted Lucy to look like that, looking at him only, forever.

Her eyes stayed locked on his mouth. She nudged his nose with hers and pecked him on the lips. “Just,” she paused, her voice airy, “follow my lead.”

Schroeder nodded obediently, eagerly. Lucy’s eyes closed and Schroeder nearly cried out in relief when she kissed him again. Just follow her lead, he reminded himself. 

Lucy went soft and slow. Almost agonizingly so. It was a type of kiss that said “I’m not going anywhere.” It sent that spark spiraling into an ember. She took her time kissing—sucking—and Schroeder desperately reciprocated her movements. He wanted to learn fast so that he could make this as pleasurable for her as it was for him. She playfully bit his bottom lip and giggled when he groaned in response. 

Although Schroeder wore pants comfortable enough for skating, he felt the space in them shrink the longer he and Lucy kissed. The heat in his face spread to his body and he shivered in delight. He was in limbo, stuck between the pleasure of their kiss and the pain of it. He realized then that he was a masochist. He was a willing participant in this painful game of back and forth.

Then, a gust of wind blew right into them and they both shivered for a very different, nonsensual, reason. 

“We should stop there,” Schroeder advised, begrudgingly pulling away from Lucy’s warm lips. She sighed softly and nodded, looking much more flushed than before. Schroeder glanced at her smudged lipstick and swollen lips and smirked. He had done that.

Lucy giggled and pointed at his face. Schroeder chuckled, albeit a bit confused, and asked, “What?”

Lucy got on the tip of her skates and swiped her thumb across his lip, just as he did to her. She grinned as she showed him the pad of her thumb. A streak of color was on it. Lipstick.

Schroeder blushed and wiped his mouth onto his jacket sleeve. He looked at her. “Is it all gone?” Lucy hummed in thought, but he could tell she was faking it. Before he could call her out on it, she sprung up and planted a final kiss on his lips. She smirked and crossed her arms proudly.

“Not anymore.”

—

Schroeder already had an idea on what to give Lucy for Valentine’s day. The only issue was that he needed more time to make it. So instead of giving it to her on Valentine’s, he’d just wait until her birthday next month. It was simply something he couldn’t rush.

On the day of, Linus dropped Lucy off at Schroeder’s house as per usual. Lucy pranced over to where Schroeder waited on his front porch. As soon as he saw her, he smiled and whipped out the bouquet behind his back. Pink and purple roses with white daisies. Lucy squealed as she accepted the flowers. She stuck her face into them and inhaled deeply. Schroeder smiled at seeing her genuine excitement.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Lucy.”

His girlfriend hugged him tightly, the biggest smile on her face. She went onto her tippy toes and pecked him on the lips. He chased her lips, eager to reconnect them. She giggled against his lips and pulled away. Schroeder let her this time.

“Oh, thank you, Sweetie. I love them.” Schroeder grinned and tapped the snipped ends of the stems. Lucy hummed in appreciation. “And you’ve already prepped them.” He nodded proudly. He was serious about giving her a gift without any extra labor.

“All you have to do is pop them in a vase.” 

But that wasn’t all he had for his girlfriend. No. Schroeder took her bag and led her to his car. Lucy giggled as he, not-so-discreetly, tried to block the window from view. He opened her passenger door slowly. Lucy rolled her eyes and whacked his arm with the bouquet he had just given her. 

“Quit stalling. I’m dying to see what you’re hiding!” Schroeder chuckled at her impatience but swung the car door wide, eager to please her. She gasped, covering her mouth.

Schroeder had covered the seat with red rose petals. A large, brown teddy bear sat in her spot, a heart-shaped box of chocolates in one arm and a card in the other. It was the epitome of Valentine’s Day gifts and Schroeder was proud of it. By her reaction, he had done good and he had done it himself this time. No friends or brother’s advice needed.

He had come a long way in this “courting” thing. 

“Oh, Schroeder,” Lucy whined. She turned to him, happiness in her eyes. She frowned, but he could tell she was actually overfilled with joy. “You didn’t have to do all of this.”

That was true. He could have just given her flowers and Lucy would have still been happy. But it wasn’t the matter of him simply doing it. It was the fact that he wanted to do this for her. Seeing her happy made him feel that times a hundred. 

Instead of Schroeder playing it cool or dismissing her, he embraced her. He slowly reached out and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head as he rocked the two of them back and forth. 

“Do you like it?” He asked her quietly. 

Lucy’s chuckle was muffled against his chest. He felt her smile. She gripped his back and nuzzled in closer. The heavenly scent of fresh lilies swarmed his nostrils. 

“You’re an idiot,” she mumbled. 

Schroeder couldn’t agree more.

—

Schroeder had become some sort of celebrity in the small town’s highschool. His change of hair, style, and hot new car revealed his hidden “hunkiness” as Peppermint Patty liked to say. His relationship with Lucy van Pelt seemed to make him all the more desirable too apparently. Charlie Brown said something about, “If the popular girl wants you, then so did everyone else.”  

It didn’t make much sense and Schroeder didn’t really care to try to understand. So what if he started caring how he presented himself? He liked Lucy and wanted to be someone she wouldn’t be ashamed to be with. He was still the same person under the new clothes and hair.

And his new car didn’t mean crap either. He still didn’t have a license.

Now he would think that people would keep their fascination to themselves. Especially given that he was in a relationship with Lucy, but that simply wasn’t the case.

After dropping Lucy off at her locker, which was closer than his, Schroeder went back to his own only to find it covered with lipstick stains. There were lips of all sorts of sizes and colors, so he knew immediately that it wasn’t just a single perpetrator. The inside was worse. His books and journals were covered with a flood of letters, candies, and chocolates all presumably for Valentine’s Day. He jumped as the mountain of goodies fell to his feet. 

“What the-”

“Woah,” Charlie Brown whistled from behind him. The boy slung an arm over his shoulder and stared at the mess. “When did you have a load of admirers, man?” Schroeder scoffed and started scooping the pile off the floor. He glanced at one of the letters on the floor. It was pink and in the shape of a heart. The name “Eliza” was signed in cursive at the bottom. A different one read “ Penny.” Another “Barbara.” Schroeder’s brows wrinkled. Who the hell were these people?

He gestured backwards at his friend. Not even looking back, he huffed out an irritated, “Hand me a trash can, will you?” Charlie Brown chuckled but obeyed, hauling the nearest trash can to him. Schroeder ignored the aghast expressions of onlookers, some of them those same “admirers.” He dealt with everything indiscriminately, tossing every bit of sweets and love letters obstructing his locker. 

Charlie Brown bent down and helped him. He picked up one of the letters and waved it in front of Schroeder’s face. He swatted it away like an annoying fly. “You’re not even going to read what they wrote you?”

“Nope,” Schroeder responded with a pop of the “p.” He didn’t care what these other girls gave him. His real girlfriend already gifted him with a kiss on the lips this morning. What else could he possibly need? What he needed to do was to get rid of these before Lucy came back from her locker. 

Charlie Brown cleared his throat dramatically and fluffed out the paper as if it were an important document. He read the letter out to Schroeder: 

“Dear Schroeder,

I have been secretly in love with you for years and only now had the courage to confess. You see, I also play a bit of the piano-”

Schroeder snatched the piece of paper from his friend’s hands and threw it into the awaiting trash bin. Garbage. A blatant lie in order to catch his attention. He may not have been the most well-versed in romance, but did they think him to be stupid? At least Lucy never lied about knowing anything about the piano or classical music in order for him to like her.

He saw another note in the pile labeled with a familiar name. He scoffed and tossed that one away too. “Frieda had a crush on you.” Yeah, right. If it was truly in the past, then what was her letter doing with the rest of them? He knew Frieda was up to no good talking to Lucy that day.

The junk inside his locker had been dealt with. Now the issue was the exterior. While Schroeder attempted to wipe away the collage of lipstick kisses—with barely any success, mind you—Peppermint Patty joined in on the chaos. She casually carried her letterman over her shoulder. She had a tiny box of chocolates tucked under her armpit. The girl snickered, “That’s some nasty damage, bud. Does Lucy know you have the adoration of this many fans?”

Schroeder ignored her taunting and waved down a nearby janitor. One look at his vandalized locker and the janitor got to work. He turned to Patty and crossed his arms. 

“One, Lucy will not know because as you can see,” he paused to gesture towards his now squeaky clean locker, “there is nothing to see. And two, I don’t have fans. I am merely the current fixation of a small town whom everyone will forget once we graduate.” He sighed. People here would talk about anything.

“Hi, Sweetie!” Small arms wrapped around his torso from behind. He glanced down and saw a silver ring. Schroeder jumped up in surprise and spun around.

“Lucy!” 

She smiled and Schroeder did too. His irritation disappeared at the sight of her. She greeted Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty, her smile unfaltering. She looked back up at him and her smile faded. She raised a brow and asked. “Why are you out of breath?”

Schroeder stilled. He recalled the way she reacted with Frieda’s intervention. Confused. Conflicted. Hurt. He didn’t know how she’d react if she discovered that it was multiple girls, not just Frieda, that secretly liked him. 

He didn’t particularly enjoy keeping something from her, but what was important was that none of it mattered to him. Not the love letters. Not the attention. The state of his locker was not important.

He shook his head with a tiny smile.

“No reason,” Schroeder replied calmly. He ignored the imploring look on his friends’ faces and took the stack of textbooks from her arms. “Are you all set for first period?” 

Any suspicion from Lucy disappears and she nods, pulling Schroeder along. Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty follow them to homeroom silently.

What she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

—

His last Valentine’s Day in highschool continues without another hitch. Schroeder avoids or rejects any gifts being offered to him, leaving a trail of disappointed girls in his wake. He only accepted gifts if they were from a friend. Like Marcie who gave everyone a box of conversation hearts. 

Maybe instead of being the latest heartthrob, everyone would label him as the biggest jerk and go back to ignoring him. That would surely be easier on his relationship than his current treatment.

Schroeder was now waiting for Lucy in the parking lot, leaning against the hood of his car. He popped one of Marcie’s candy hearts in his mouth. He absentmindedly sucked on it as he stared off into space. 

He and Lucy would be having a romantic dinner at the Italian place tonight. He already booked the reservation, since he knew it would be busy being the holiday for romance. They’d walk around the mall a bit, maybe buy her another small present or two. He’d be an overall sweet boyfriend to Lucy and maybe even be rewarded with a kiss for his gentlemanly efforts. He smiled to himself at the thought. He could barely wait.

Someone then came into view, ripping him from his pleasant daydream, but it was not Lucy. It was a girl he’d never met. She was oddly familiar though, maybe she frequented Patty’s parties? 

The girl giggled and offered a hello. Schroeder bit the candy in his mouth, splitting it into two. He blinked at the stranger. “Hi?”

She introduced herself as Angela. She listed off other things in a common introduction like how: she was a junior, she was friends with Sally Brown, anddd everything else fell onto Schroeder’s deaf ears. He couldn’t seem to focus on what the girl was saying. He was too busy glancing at the school’s exit for the girl he was truly invested in.

Agnes—or whatever her name was, Schroeder already forgot—offered him a heart-shaped lollipop. Attached to it was a note. He couldn’t read it but he spotted a string of numbers in the body of text. He wanted to groan in frustration. He couldn’t even be left alone next to his own car visibly filled with gifts for his actual girlfriend. 

He awkwardly chuckled and rubbed his neck. “No thanks. I have my fill of candy already,” he said, lifting up Marcie’s box of candy hearts. Amy insisted. She told Schroeder to just “save it for later” with an added wink at the end of the suggestion. Even though he wasn’t the one initiating, having another girl flirt with him while he was with Lucy made him sick. Was shame not a thing anymore? For God’s sake, he was in a relationship and he knew everyone knew that! 

“No. I really don’t want it,” Schroeder repeated more sternly, firmly pushing away the lollipop. Amber wasn’t handling rejection well. She tore open the wrapping and waved it in his face. The cold candy hit his face a couple times as she forcefully tried to feed it to Schroeder. 

He pinched his lips tightly together and dodged her advances. Jesus, when would this girl give it up?

Being a savior herself, Lucy appeared in his periphery. She had seen everything. And perhaps with her keen senses, she must have heard it too. Scorn darkened her face as she stormed over to Schroeder’s car. Andrea, who was none the wiser, continued with her assault until Lucy’s hand circled her wrist. 

The random girl turned around and gasped upon seeing Lucy. His girlfriend stared at the stranger and then at the weapon in her hand. Still having a hold on her wrist, Lucy forced the girl to give her the lollipop instead, plopping it on her tongue. Schroeder stood, dumbfounded, as he watched Lucy suck on the candy intended for him. 

Lucy let go of Amanda’s wrist and the girl stumbled backwards from the force of it. Lucy took the lollipop out of her mouth with a satisfying pop. The red candy glistened with her saliva. She placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head to the side cunningly, all the while staring down the now nervous junior. Schroeder hadn’t seen this side of Lucy in a long time, maybe the last was during her welcoming party when he had interrupted her time alone.

Now that her anger wasn’t directed at him, he found this version of Lucy van Pelt oddly… attractive.

She licked the lollipop again before speaking. “Thanks for the candy.” She paused and placed a hand on Schroeder’s shoulder. “Excuse my boyfriend for not accepting your Valentine’s gift. That was quite rude of him.” Lucy clicked her tongue and pouted. His brows furrowed in genuine confusion.

Wait. What?

Before Schroeder could debate with himself where he went wrong, Lucy turned to him. She briefly popped the candy in her mouth and took it back out again. The candy heart shined with renewed wetness. She extended her arm with the lollipop towards him. She smiled at him sweetly as she said, “No worries, though. It won’t be wasted since Schroeder will still have a taste. Won’t you, Sweetie?”

Schroeder’s head went blank. The lollipop pressed against his half parted lips, the surface sticky. His mind went on autopilot. He kept his eyes on Lucy as he opened his mouth fully before his lips enclosed around the candy. The sweet taste of strawberry and something else filled his mouth.

Lucy was just licking this lollipop. And now, it was in his mouth. He didn’t know what to make of it besides that he was—extremely—turned on. His pants tightened in response.

The girl who bothered him vanished, quick to understand Lucy’s display of power rather than his simple rejection. Schroeder barely even noticed. His eyes were still glued onto his girlfriend who now wore a proud smirk on her pretty face. 

“Ready now, Sweetie?”

And ready he was. Whatever that was.

Chapter Text

The snow melted and so did the ice on the roads. Flowers started to bud in tandem with Schroeder’s relationship with Lucy. And just like the smell of fresh flowers, his life was as sweet as can be.

Schroeder went back to sitting under his oak tree during lunch. Sometimes Lucy would join him and sometimes he’d opt to sit inside with her. It didn’t even matter, because they saw each other after school every day anyway. He was never in a drought of her, but he couldn’t seem to get enough.

Today was one of those days when Lucy decided to eat with him. He had his golden head in her lap as he played with the ends of her dark hair. Lucy’s face was wrinkled in concentration. She bit the end of her pen as she scribbled into her journal, the sound of it scratching Schroeder’s eardrum. Pamphlets of varying universities were scattered around her and them, in the eye of the hurricane.

The highschool advisors were currently breathing down every senior’s neck, pestering the graduating class on what they had planned for the future. Schroeder was—luckily—free from their nagging, but his friends and the rest of the graduating class were not as fortunate. 

They were especially hard on Lucy, as she was the reigning Salutatorian. She had more options and with that amount of freedom came a lot more stress than relief. 

Lucy groaned and chucked her notebook to the side. It landed in the grass next to Schroeder’s head.

“Ugh. I just can’t stand it! There’s too many schools to choose from! And they all have great medical programs too. It’s too difficult to choose.” 

Lucy excused herself to the restroom; she needed to touch up her lipstick before the next period. Schroeder lifted his head, letting her stand up. He watched his girlfriend walk back into the cafeteria and disappear around the corner.

Schroeder curiously eyed the discarded journal. He wondered what colleges were causing her such distress. Juilliard was his first pick and was accepted; he’d never had to consider going anywhere else. 

He grabbed her book from the ground and flipped through her pages of notes. As expected, she was organized and took every detail into consideration, big or small. She had listed pros and cons for each college. This one’s dorms were spacious but had no air conditioning. Several of them had low acceptance rates. This college had terrible food.

He read the names of her already researched colleges. Harvard, Baylor, Duke, Brown, Rice. All of them are renowned, but also very far from New York City. 

Except for one.

NYU, New York University. And the campus was not just in the state of New York, but it was smack dab in the center of The Big Apple. The very city where Juilliard was located just several blocks down.

Lucy would be in the same city. They could still be together. Maybe they’d even get an apartment together. His heart skipped a beat. 

He scanned the list that his girlfriend scribbled. He immediately noticed the disparity between the list of good and bad. 

CONS

Unsafe (accessible to general public)

Not enough greenery & ugly buildings (lame)

SAT 1400+ (yikes!)

Low acceptance rate (12%)

Private school (super expensive for what?)

Hard to get a dorm > Rent apartment > Terrible commute  

His smile slowly sank with each listed reason. That silly daydream of living together during their college years popped. There were so many negatives that he questioned why NYU was even an option. Then, he saw it. Underneath the barren “pros” column, the only thing listed was Schroeder’s name written in glittery purple ink. Surrounding his name were multiple circles in bright red. He stilled. Ears ringing, his eyes dizzily focused onto the words.

Pros: Schroeder.

One of the only reasons Lucy was considering this university was because of him. It made his heart swell as well as simultaneously deflate. 

This is what he was afraid of. This was why he was hesitant in dating Lucy so near graduation. 

His selfishness had caught up to him and it was going to hurt Lucy. Her future. 

Without any hesitation, he tore out the page about NYU. A satisfying rip filled the air, the sound filtering through the bristling leaves of the oak tree. Schroeder methodically tore the paper into minuscule pieces and chucked them into the wind. Next, he scoured through the pile of pamphlets for the matching pair. He found NYU’s purple and black trifold brochure and tucked it into his jacket pocket. 

Schroeder sighed in relief and laid back down in the soft grass. He closed his eyes and prayed. Prayed for Lucy’s success and prayed for everything to turn out alright. Hopefully Lucy was too overwhelmed with the other options to notice one school missing. 

Speaking of-

Lucy came back, looking more chipper than when she had left. She hummed happily as she gathered the brochures and stuffed them into her journal. Once she was done, she stood back up and looked at Schroeder. She sweetly smiled and nodded in the direction of the school.

“Let’s head back now before we’re late.” Schroeder smiled and nodded. His jacket pocket felt see through as he stood. 

“Mm. Let’s go.”

—

His parents stayed in the waiting room as Schroeder nervously awaited his turn. His leg bounced as anxiety pulsed through his body. 

He didn’t know why he was being so apprehensive. It was just his driving test. And driving was something he’s been doing for months. He had this in the bag. 

“Next!” Schroeder physically jumped as his number was called. His proctor was a big burly man. His face was scruffy, a frown deeply seated under the loads of greying facial hair. The man stared at Schroeder with a look that made his blood thin. 

Schroeder gulped as he stood. He silently followed his proctor to the vehicle. He sat in the driver’s seat of the unfamiliar car and forced himself to take a deep breath. 

It’s just a driving test. 

The man plopped into the passenger seat with huff; the car jerked from the weight. Schroeder swore one side of the car dipped closer to the ground. 

Once Schroeder finished adjusting his seat and mirrors, the gruffy man instructed him to drive. He pretended that it was Lucy in his passenger seat and his shoulders immediately relaxed. He sharply inhaled and put the car in drive. Here goes.

Right off the bat, the instructor makes him parallel park. Probably a method to weed out bad drivers early on. He points to a spot in the testing area with two large, orange cones. No problem, Schroeder thought, gripping onto the steering wheel, Lucy’s trash cans were placed much closer together during practice. 

—

Schroeder passed the driving test with flying colors. He realized quickly that Lucy made everything more difficult during their driving lessons; she had prepared him well. He was grateful.

Schroeder went into the DMV thinking he was going to fail. Now that he accomplished the opposite, he wanted to celebrate. And what better way to celebrate him getting his license than taking his girlfriend to a drive-in theatre?

As he pulled up to the van Pelt residence, he grinned mischievously to himself. Lucy had no idea he went to take his test today. She would surely be surprised. 

He knocked on the door without hesitation, the new ID in his wallet fueling his confidence. Lucy’s mom opened the door and greeted him with a friendly kiss on the cheek. Schroeder smiled as the woman happily ushered him inside, calling out her daughter’s name.

Lucy comes running down the stairs. She’s barefoot and wearing shorts. Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail. She has on a shirt so baggy that it fell down her shoulder, exposing the majority of her neck and upper chest. 

He stopped breathing. Schroeder had never seen her this casual. The last time she came remotely close to looking like this was when he first gave her flowers, but even then she made him close his eyes.

Disheveled Lucy van Pelt gave off a feeling of comfort and familiarity. This was the Lucy that made him home cooked meals. This was the Lucy he was speaking to on late-night phone calls. This was the Lucy that only her family sees. And now he has too.

Though, Schroeder didn’t think that Lucy was planning on showing him this laidback side of her anytime soon with her reaction.

“EEK!” Lucy screeched so loudly that Schroeder and her mother winced. Mrs. van Pelt shot Schroeder with an apologetic look and left the couple alone.

Lucy’s face reddened with embarrassment. She adjusted her shirt so that it covered her chest, but the sleeve just slipped back down. Lucy squeaked and spun around so that her back faced him. Her loose shirt dipped to expose the back of her neck and upper spine. 

She glanced over her shoulder, the shell of her ear bright red, and glared at Schroeder. “Why are you still looking at me?! Close your eyes or something!” 

Schroeder immediately obeyed, quickly closing his eyes. Darkness met him, but the image of a lightly dressed Lucy was already burned into the back of his eyelids. 

A soft hand grasped his wrist. It tugged him forward and he blindly followed it. “We’re going upstairs,” Lucy huffed, embarrassment still lining her voice. Before he could argue, she guided him up the steps for the first time. His leg raises for another step, but he’s met with a flat landing. Lucy guides him down a hallway before pulling him into a room, the door slamming closed behind him. She lets go of his hand and all he hears is shuffling. 

“Don’t look yet.”

Following her orders, he keeps his eyes closed. The first thing he can do is take a deep breath. The room smells sweet. Like flowers, perfume, and scented candles. Schroeder froze. Was he in… Lucy’s room? No. There was no way. She wouldn’t take him into her room with her family home, right?

“Uh, Luce?” Schroeder hears her moving back and forth across the room. There’s sounds of items clanking together, sheets ruffling, drawers banging, and a trash can lid opening and closing. A breeze blows into him as Lucy presumably passes him in a rush.

“Hm?” She hums in question from somewhere behind him. The squeak of a door closing shut echoes from his left.

“Are we… in your room?” He asks nervously. There was no way-

“Yep,” Lucy replied casually. Schroeder felt the blood drain from his face. If his eyes weren’t closed, he would have been seeing white. He was alone. With Lucy. In her bedroom. “And don’t open your eyes yet. I’m changing.”

He choked on his spit.

“Lucy! ” He hissed, waving his arms out blindly. “You can’t just- In your room- I’m… I’m a guy!” Why would Lucy think it was a good idea to bring him up here? Was she insane? 

Lucy chuckled. Schroeder could imagine the amused expression on her face. “Actually, you’re my boyfriend-”

“That doesn’t make it any better! What if your parents-” She scoffed, cutting him off.

“Relax. My parents wouldn’t mind. They think you’re a good guy.” A good guy? Him? He might know his way with acting around adults, but would her parents still think that way if they knew of what he thought about at night alone? Or in the shower? His evolving thoughts about their sweet daughter were anything but “good.”

She then added rather confidently, “And I know you wouldn’t try anything, Schroeder. I trust you.”

Lucy may trust him, but he didn’t know if he could trust himself. 

He was reaching his limit. He needed to distract himself.

Schroeder gathered what he knew; he was in Lucy’s room and she was getting dressed just a few feet away from him. An imaginary tear rolled down Schroeder’s face. Okay, thinking about that didn’t help.

His hands balled into fists, his fingernails digging into his palms. He knew it was wrong, but the urge to sneak a peek was immense. Schroeder was just a boy and Lucy was his Medusa. Would he, too, have his curiosity override common sense?

His beautiful girlfriend was probably shirtless and pantless right now. Schroeder’s seen her wear form fitting clothes before, so he was very well aware of her figure. His eyelashes fluttered, threatening to open. No, he scolded himself, Get a hold of yourself. 

He let out a shaky sigh and screwed his eyes shut tight. Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look. Lucy van Pelt was going to be the death of him.

Lucy made a sound of contentment before tapping Schroeder on the shoulder. She giggled when he still refused to open his eyes. “It’s fine, Schroeder. I’m decent. You can look now.” 

Schroeder, still a bit hesitant, slowly squinted his eyes open. He only fully opened them when he noticed her change of clothes. Lucy swapped into a pair of bell bottoms and a plain white tee. Her face was still free of makeup, only a light sheen of lip gloss coated her lips. 

Lucy smiled sweetly and padded over to her bed. She plopped down at the edge and patted to the space next to her.

“Come. Sit.”

Schroeder sat beside Lucy reluctantly. His nerves had calmed but the lust in his pants was not something that could go away as easily. Luckily, his pants were loose enough for his… excitement to be mostly unnoticeable. At least, Lucy didn’t seem to notice. She watched quietly as she let Schroeder scan her room. 

It was just as Schroeder imagined, if only a bit more messy than he thought given Lucy’s type A personality. Her wooden bed and dresser looked like they were messily painted herself, white, and some areas were chipped from age. The walls were painted light blue, making the room feel as though they were in the sky. 

Across the room were posters of various celebrities covering the wall where her desk was situated. The desk itself was covered in school supplies. Textbooks, papers, and Schroeder even spotted a few of his Christmas presents scattered on the surface. 

Closer to the bed where they sat were two more tables. A small vanity held all her makeup. Lucy must have loved lipsticks more than anything else because there were tubes of different colors lined up on an acrylic stand. Schroeder noticed several photos taped onto the vanity mirror; the faces in them—aside from Lucy’s—were unknown to him. Probably friends from the city, he thought to himself. He took a mental note to have his picture be included among them soon. 

The other table was tiny and at her bedside, and it seemed as though its only purpose was to house her personal landline. Schroeder imagined Lucy on the phone with him. She would be laying on her stomach or maybe she was already tucked in bed as she spoke to him. The phone color—interestingly enough—was not blue, her favorite color, but a plain black. It was shiny and the coils were still tight. 

Schroeder pointed at it curiously. “Is that new?”

Lucy coughed awkwardly. Her face reddened as she turned away. She nodded. “You could tell, huh?” Schroeder shrugged, confused by her embarrassment.

“Just didn’t seem like you.” Compared to the flurry of pastels and girly teenage decor.

Lucy giggled. She lightly pushed his shoulder. “You know me too well, Schroeder. That’s not good.” He raised a brow.

“How is that bad?”

Lucy hummed. “Well, if you know me too well then you’ll get bored. I need to stay mysterious for you to stay interested in me.” Schroeder laughed. He stopped only to give her a sincere look.

“You don’t need to be mysterious for me to be into you, Lucy.” She blushed and looked away again. Schroeder could still see the pink of her cheeks when she reached over to grab the phone. 

“Since you sound so sure of yourself, I’ll tell you,” she said, placing the base of the phone in her lap. She looked up at Schroeder with a shy smile. “Remember New Year’s Day? The morning you called me?” 

Schroeder nodded with a grin. He called her to make sure she remembered that he had asked her out the night before. How could he possibly forget? Lucy placed the phone back on the bedside table and sat on the floor. She reached underneath her bed and pulled out a different phone. 

Unlike the plain one on her night stand, this definitely seemed more like her vibe. This one was a slightly darker blue than her walls, like the color of ocean waves. As if to match that theme, Lucy hot glued white beads that resembled pearls around the base. It was evident as to why she no longer used this one; the phone handle was snapped in two but held together with tape. 

Lucy pouted as she held up the phone at face level. “I was so hungover when you called, so I fell off the bed and landed on my phone. That’s why it’s broken.” 

“Pfft,” Schroeder tried to hold his laugh in, covering his mouth with his hand. Now that sounded more like Lucy. 

She frowned and punched his legs. “Hey, it’s not funny. This is your fault.” Lucy pretended to be upset but a suppressed chuckle left her lips. Schroeder nodded and stopped her beating. He used her hands to lead her to sit back down on the bed. Lucy sighed and smiled softly at him.

“What are you doing at my house anyways? Not that I mind of course, but you could have given me a call.”

“Sorry,” Schroeder apologized sheepishly. He opened his wallet and handed Lucy his new ID. “Here, look.” She shot him a confused expression but then gasped and began jumping up and down. 

“Oh my gosh! Schroeder! You already did your driver’s test? When?!” His girlfriend’s excitement was infectious and Schroeder couldn’t help but smile. 

“Today. I didn’t call to tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise.” Lucy laughed and placed a fat kiss on his cheek. Schroeder’s face burned in response.

“And what a wonderful surprise this is. We should go out and celebrate!” 

“How does a movie sound?” Schroeder offered smoothly, as if that wasn’t what he had already planned. Lucy grinned and nodded eagerly.

She gushed, “Oh! I heard there’s this new movie that’s out. It’s a romance and-” Schroeder cut her off when he pulled out two tickets he already paid for in his pocket. Coincidentally, they were for the new romance movie that Lucy was just talking about. She shook her head with a laugh.

“See? Like I said, you know me too well.”

—

The movie was surprisingly boring despite the decked-out cast. Schroeder didn’t want to be that guy, so he remained silent as he tried several methods to stay awake. He counted the number of cars in the lot. 17. The number of times the main protagonist cried. 3 (so far). 

Lucy wanted to see this movie and he didn’t want to ruin it for her.

Despite his best efforts, Schroeder still managed to doze off about halfway through the movie. He jerked awake when Lucy poked him. 

“Schroeder?” She whispered cautiously. “Are you asleep?” 

Shit . He blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the sleepiness. “Huh? Yeah, I did. I’m sorry.” He shook his head and cleared his throat. He waved her off and pointed to the big screen. “I won’t do it again. Let’s keep watching.”

Lucy laughed quietly and shook her head. “It’s fine, Schroeder. Honestly, I’m a bit bored too.” Schroeder frowned. He could tell she was being honest, but he still felt guilty that she wasn’t enjoying herself. This was supposed to be a “celebration” after all.

“Oh? Do you… want to leave then?” Disappointment was clear in his voice. Maybe that’s why Lucy insisted on staying.

“No! You already paid for the tickets. We might as well just stay for the full thing.” Schroeder ignites his car and his headlights turn on with a flash. 

“That doesn’t matter to me. There’s no point in staying if we’re both bored.” He put his hand on the gear shift. He was about to back out of the lot, but Lucy placed her hand on top of his, stopping him.

“We don’t have to be bored.” Her tone was a shy suggestion. Schroeder’s brows furrowed slightly as he stared at her, oblivious.

“But you said that the movie was boring you?”

In the darkness, Schroeder saw Lucy bite her lip. She slowly turned down the volume on the radio frequency currently playing the movie. Her hand returned back to his, but instead of holding his hand, her pointer finger lightly traced the length of his arm. 

Schroeder gulped as goosebumps raised in her wake. “I don’t… I don’t get what you mean.” 

Lucy hummed quietly. She leaned over the middle console and positioned her head next to Schroeder’s face. He shivered in delight as her warm breath tickled the shell of his ear.

“I think you know exactly what I mean, Sweetie.” 

Schroeder turned the car back off. With the headlights off, he was able to hide his burning face in the dark. It soon wouldn’t matter though, as Lucy would be able to feel the burning of his neck as she peppered it with light kisses. His whole body felt like it was on fire at the touch of her lips. His breathing hitched. His mouth fell slack. He turned to Lucy with a shaky sigh.

“What… what are you doing right now, Luce?” He certainly wasn’t bored now. Her lips left his neck and she looked up at him with a mischievous grin.

“Do you not like it?” Schroeder stifled a groan as she went back to work on his neck. He slammed his head against the headrest when Lucy sucked the sensitive part of his neck. She sucked harder when Schroeder didn’t respond, forcing that groan to slip from his throat.

“Yes. I like it, Lucy. I like it,” he pathetically rasped, his hand resting on the back of her head encouragingly. She pulled away but not before giving his neck a small nibble. He bit back a whimper from the soreness of his skin. 

Schroeder laid limp in his seat while Lucy examined her work with pride. A painting and a painter. A smirk played on her lips before she slammed them onto his with urgency. Schroeder kissed her back fervently.

This kiss was different from their first. Out on the lake, their first kiss was slow and gentle. Experimental, even. Lucy was suffocating him with passion and Schroeder did his best to keep up with her. 

She did everything the same as their first kiss but only faster. She had her own little pattern and Schroeder quickly learned it to accommodate and please her. As long as she was enjoying herself, so was he.

She eventually reeled back to let them breathe. Schroeder’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to catch his breath. Lucy’s breathing was also ragged as she stared at him from the passenger seat. She gestured to him, waving her finger for him to do something.

“What?”

“Your seat. Move your seat back.” He was a bit confused but he wasn’t one to argue. He adjusted the driver’s seat all the way back as the car allowed, the distance far enough to where he couldn’t reach the steering wheel. He was about to question Lucy why she wanted him to do that, but his question was answered with action.

Lucy crawled over the console and sat in Schroeder’s lap. She now towered him as her legs straddled either side of his thighs. His eyes widened. 

“Lucy-” He stopped himself when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him closer to her, her chest touching his. Her eyes shined with something unexplainable. Dangerous. This was dangerous. His hands itched to be at her sides, but he kept them at bay. For now.

“I want to try something new with you. Do you trust me?” Schroeder nodded eagerly. 

“Of course, Luce. I trust you.” Do what you want with me.

Lucy smiled as she leaned back down. Her lips lightly brushed his slightly parted ones, teasingly. She pecked him once, twice, and only when Schroeder let out a pitiful whine did she finally kiss him for real.

Lucy said she wanted to try something, but the kiss stayed the same—not that Schroeder was complaining. Whatever she was comfortable enough to do was fine with him.

But then Lucy did do something different. The hands that were too timid to touch her latched onto her hips when her tongue glided across his bottom lip. His instincts caused him to open his mouth and Lucy cautiously slipped her tongue in. The new sensation caught him off guard so much that he nearly slammed his mouth closed. 

The pattern he just learnt was now broken into many pieces just as his mind was. He didn’t know what to do. Not with his lips nor with his tongue. 

Was I doing this right? Did she like this? What does she expect me to do?

Lucy moaned into his mouth and the vibrations of it went straight to his pants. Fuck it. Schroeder stopped thinking for once and just kissed her back. 

His tongue loosened and began copying her movements. He explored her mouth as she did his, from the insides of her cheeks to the depressions in her palate. She tasted sweet like the cotton candy she had just eaten. 

Schroeder felt himself get greedier, his eager heart—and something else—throbbing. It was hard to breathe, but he couldn’t stop. He wanted to keep her there, in his lap, with her lips smothered in his. He wanted to swallow her whole. That, or, live in her mouth.

Lucy was a testament of that greed. She didn’t want to stop either by the way she pressed herself harder into him.

She gasped as Schroeder suffocated them both. Her hands ran through his hair repeatedly and he groaned from the feeling. He returned the favor and squeezed her hips tightly. She moaned into his mouth again and Schroeder greedily swallowed the sounds she made. He was full of her.

Schroeder nearly cried out when Lucy grinded her hips against the tent in his pants. He felt himself grow with every shift of her hips. Although her movements were wildly addictive and more than pleasurable, it was a needed wake-up call. 

Schroeder tried pulling away but Lucy chased his lips. He had to hold her by the shoulders in order for her to stop. Now she was the one whining. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. 

“I know, I know. But we need to stop. Or else-“ He didn’t want their first time to be in a car.” Schroeder wanted to cringe at the thought. Doing that in a car for the first time sounded unromantic and just plain gross. Thankfully, Lucy agreed with a nod of her head. 

Now that their lips weren’t attached to the other, Schroeder could fully appreciate how she looked on top of him. She was still out of breath, her lips parted slightly. Beads of sweat gathered at her temples, causing her hair to stick. Even in the darkness, he could make out the redness of her face, the result from both lust and from the lack of oxygen. Schroeder probably looked the same.

Lucy giggled and laid her head down on his chest. She sighed when he wrapped his arms around her waist. 

The two spent the rest of the movie taking a much needed nap, only waking up when an attendant knocked on their window. 

—

It was the end of the night on Lucy’s 18th birthday. It was a simple celebration, dinner with family at a restaurant. Her parents invited Schroeder to the private occasion and he was more than happy to go. Tomorrow night will be much different. Since Schroeder refused a party for his birthday, Peppermint Patty had every intention of hosting a grand party for the city girl. And unlike Schroeder, Lucy was ecstatic to have a big party.

She was wearing the same elegant, royal blue dress from dinner. The flowy dress draped all the way down to her ankles, the point of her white heels protruded from the bottom. The chiffon sleeves were sheer and still showed the length of her arm. A dazzling pearl necklace ordained her neck and it made her chest shimmer under the full moon. A matching bracelet was on her wrist. And although it didn’t match her jewelry, the silver promise ring he had given her was still on her finger.

Lucy giggled as Schroeder led her inside the empty building. He had her blindfolded for her surprise birthday gift. He had been working on it for a little over a month now and he was equally as excited and nervous to give it to her. He had never done anything like it before.

“Where are we, Schroeder?” She asked anxiously, though she wore an ecstatic expression. “It’s quiet,” she observed as he led her down the aisle of chairs. She added jokingly, “I’m getting nervous. You’re not about to kill me right?” 

Schroeder chuckled and shook his head at her question. “No. But you might die from shock.” Lucy huffed.

“Not funny.” Schroeder didn’t respond as he guided his girlfriend up the small flight of stairs. The wooden floorboards of the stage creaked under their steps. 

“Sit here,” he instructed as he placed Lucy in front of the piano bench. She blindly patted the seat below her before sitting down. She folded her hands in her lap then smiled up at Schroeder. He bit his lip nervously as he undid her blindfold. 

Lucy blinked as she adjusted to the harsh lighting of the stage. Schroeder could see the realization dawn on her face as she came face to face with the grand piano in front of her. She turned to him with wide eyes. 

“Schroeder?”

He chuckled at her expression. He sat down beside her. “I was originally just going to play for you at my house, but then my piano tutor gave me the keys to the place for tonight. Seemed like the more romantic option than having my parents watch too.”

She smiled and leaned on his shoulder. “You’re going to play for me? Can you still play if I lay like this?” Schroeder nodded sheepishly as he planted a kiss on her forehead.

“For you, I will.”

He readied his hands over the keys. He counted himself off in his head and began playing.

It was a softer melody, but not to be confused with slower. It was sweet. Tender. It was the first morning light that met dew-touched grass. It was water in a calm stream. It was the moonlight peeking through a shade of trees. 

It wasn’t a long piece either, no movements, and perhaps only four minutes long if Schroeder were to time it. That didn’t make it any more meaningful though. Every note held significance. They were words compiled to tell a story, one of love, yearning, and passion. It was a story he was now telling Lucy from the bottom of his heart.

The last note rang throughout the empty auditorium in a heartbreaking finale. Tears brimmed in Schroeder’s eyes when he finally opened them. He looked over at Lucy still perched on his shoulder and smiled. 

This was real. She was real. 

“Happy birthday, Luce.” 

Lucy lifted her head off his shoulder. She looked up at him and smiled softly. “Thank you, Schroeder. That was truly beautiful.” 

He smiled, pleased that the song at least kept her attention. When she didn’t say anything else, he awkwardly added, “What… what did you think of it?” She hummed in thought, pursing her lips.

“You know I don’t know much about the piano. But if I had to describe it, it was…” She paused. Her eyes closed as a grin enveloped her face. “Comforting. Like a warm hug or sitting next to a fire. Or maybe it’s like getting in bed after pulling your sheets from the dryer.” 

Schroeder chuckled and blushed with a nod of his head. Lucy may not understand classical music, but she could feel it. That was better understanding than most.

She added in consideration, “It’s something that I might listen to when I’m sad or having a rough day to make me feel better.” Lucy looked at him curiously then asked, “What song was that? Is it one of Beethoven’s?” Schroeder shook his head with a sheepish grin.

“No. That was- Um. One of mine.”

Lucy raised a brow. “One of yours? I don’t understand.” Schroeder rubbed the back of his neck. How do I tell her?

“It’s mine. I composed it myself. For you. For… your birthday?” His first ever composition was one made for Lucy van Pelt.

Lucy’s face blanked as she blinked at Schroeder. That emotionless expression morphed several times from confusion to shock and finally realization. She gasped and covered her mouth. She wordlessly pointed at the piano, to Schroeder, then back at the piano. He nodded slowly, an amused smirk growing from his girlfriend’s disbelief. She released her mouth to clutch her chest. The corners of her eyes dropped as a veil of happiness covered her irises. Her face scrunched together.

“You wrote me a song?” Her voice cracked as she spoke. She sniffled as tears began falling from her warm eyes. Schroeder blanched and held her face. 

“Shit. Are you crying? You’re crying.” He had no intention in seeing Lucy cry when composing this song. It wasn’t supposed to make her sad; the result was supposed to be the opposite. He made her cry on her birthday. He was the most wretched boyfriend in existence. “Fuck. Lucy, I’m sorry. This was a horrible present.”

Lucy sputtered out a laugh. “Wait, why are you apologizing? You wrote me a song. That’s the sweetest gift anyone has ever given me. And it was lovely.” 

Schroeder shut his eyes and sighed in relief. So he wasn’t the world’s worst boyfriend.

“So… is it safe to say you liked it?”

Lucy laughed again as she swiped at her wet face. “No. I loved it, Schroeder. I love it so much I wish I could have a record of it or something so that I’ll always be able to hear it.” She pouted. Schroeder chuckled and shook his head.

“You could always just ask me to play it for you.” 

Lucy raised a brow and crossed her arms sassily. “Oh really?” 

Schroeder nodded happily.

“Yes, really.” He grabbed her hands and squeezed. “Whenever you want to listen to it, I’ll play it for you. It would be a pretty terrible birthday gift otherwise if this was the only time you could hear it.” Lucy hummed in thought, a small smile playing on her lips. She smirked as she gestured at the piano in front of them.

“Then play it for me again. Right now.” Schroeder chuckled and gave her a playful salute. She giggled and stopped him before he could start playing. She asked quietly, “Hold on. What’s the name of the song?”

Schroeder brows furrowed. His arms slumped to his sides before shrugging. He had never stopped to think of a proper name for the piece. The top of the music sheet was blank, devoid of a name. Only the top corner of the sheet had writing not related to the key or tempo. In his messy scrawl, he had written “For Lucy’s 18th birthday.”

“How about…” Schroeder said, pausing as he read his writing. He flushed as he stared at Lucy beside him, eyes enchanted with untapped curiosity. “Für Lucy?” 

Schroeder watched as Lucy’s face was slowly covered with a smile. She clapped her hands excitedly and beamed up at him. She nodded ferociously. 

“Yes. That sounds perfect.”

—

The crowd made sounds of pain and winced as Peppermint Patty fell down on the plate. Her ankle twisted so badly that it was visible even to those sitting at the stands. It was nasty. Lucy gasped from beside him and grabbed his arm out of reflex.

“Oh my god! That looked pretty bad. Will she be alright? Do you think she’ll still be able to play?” Schroeder shrugged as he watched their highschool baseball team gather around the injured player in worry. Charlie Brown and Franklin offered their arms to help her up, but the girl waved them off. Knowing her, she would rather just walk the injury off. Schroeder winced when Peppermint Patty tried standing on her own but ultimately fell back down. Yeah, no. There was no “walking off” for this sort of injury. The girl was soon escorted back to the locker rooms and the umpires called for a brief intermission.

“I don’t know, Luce. I don’t think Patty will be able to play a game or two after that one.” Unfortunate. This was the final inning too.

Schroeder and Lucy had broken conversations while they waited for the intermission to be over. But in reality, the two were really worried for Peppermint Patty. Their eyes would frequently glance towards the locker room door to see if the girl would miraculously walk back out unscathed. They both knew that wasn’t the case.

Eventually though, someone did come running out of the locker room. Charlie Brown jogged past the pitcher’s mound, past the dugouts, and past home plate. He ran straight to the stands where the crowd sat, waiting, and scanned them. His search ended when he spotted Schroeder. Charlie Brown hopped over the railing and ran up the bleacher stairs to him. 

Schroeder stared at his friend in confused shock and so did Lucy. 

“Charlie Brown? What are you doing here? Where’s Patts? Is she okay?”

The sweaty baseball player shook his head and tiredly placed his hands on his hips. “Not good. She sprained her ankle real good. It’s already swelling up.” He then grabbed Schroeder’s wrist and pulled him up. He stood, spilling a bit of his popcorn, before handing the tub to Lucy. He snatched back his wrist and crossed his arms. 

“What’s the big deal?” His friend sighed and rubbed his temples. 

“No time to explain, Schroeder. Can you just come with me?” When Schroeder saw the seriousness in Charlie’s eyes, he sighed and nodded. His friend grinned and pulled him along. He shouted an apologetic “Be right back” to his—now even more confused—girlfriend. He saw her give him a tiny wave in the corner of his eye.

Charlie Brown dragged him all the way out of the stands and across the field. He ushered them into the locker room where the coach, school nurse, half the baseball team, and an injured Peppermint Patty gathered. They all turned to look at Schroeder when he entered.

The grimace on Patty’s face disappears, a smug grin replacing it, and points at Schroeder. “He’s a good player, coach. Trust me, it’ll be like I never even left the field.”

Wait. What? 

Schroeder backed away slowly as the coach examined him thoroughly. Charlie Brown and Franklin are there right behind him, hands on his shoulders, preventing him from darting out of the room.

Franklin grinned and patted Schroeder’s back harshly. The boy didn’t even look over at Schroeder’s horrified face when he said, “Yes, coach. Schroeder’s been playing ball with us since we were kids. I mean, look at these muscles. Those definitely aren’t from the piano.” Schroeder glared and swatted his friend’s squeezing hand off his bicep. He felt like a cow being scored at the state fair. The coach eventually huffed and nodded before leaving the locker room along with the nurse and majority of the baseball team.

Schroeder annoyingly shrugged off both Charlie Brown and Franklin from his back. “What the hell, guys?!” He shouted, waving his arms in exasperation. “Play for Patty? Are you insane? I’ve never even played on an official team before!”

Charlie Brown waved him off. “It’s not much different from playing with us. If anything, we play harder.” Schroeder groaned and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“That’s not the point. I don’t want to play in front of the whole school.”

 Franklin pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t lie and say you have stage fright, Schroeder. You play your piano in front of huge crowds like- three times a year.”

Schroeder threw his hands in the air. “That’s different,” he hissed. Playing the piano was just a part of him. Charlie Brown shrugged nonchalantly.

“Not really.”

He slapped his forehead. He groaned and scrutinizingly eyed Patty on the bench, the main conspirator of this plan. “Why me? The team has plenty of other players.” The girl frowned and looked down at her swollen ankle.

“The others aren’t as good. Yeah, they made it on the team but I mean- there’s not a lot of competition.” Schroeder stayed silent when she paused. She looked up at him with solemn eyes. “The opposing team is from the city. If we lose this game, we’ll have no shot at making it to State.”

State championships. Peppermint Patty desperately wanted to make it her senior year. She wanted to play baseball during college too. And for that, she needed to make a good impression.

Schroeder knew better than anyone on how it felt to chase a dream.

He groaned. His head hung low as he stared at the ground, already knowing his answer. “Fine. But you guys owe me.”

Schroeder stepped out of the locker room alongside Charlie Brown, Franklin, and Peppermint Patty. The spare uniform given to him by Charlie Brown was a little loose, but otherwise, it fit just fine. He squinted as the sun hit his eyes. Patty noticed and took off her baseball cap, placing it on Schroeder’s head.

“Here, you can borrow it. That’s my lucky cap too.” Schroeder nodded as he adjusted it. Luck was just what he needed.

“Thanks.”

As the four approached the dugouts, Schroeder heard a voice call his name. 

“Schroeder!” Lucy yelled from the stands. She was at the front now, gripping the chain link fence that protected spectators. Schroeder cursed. Watching the baseball game was supposed to be a date with Lucy, but now he was the date. 

He excused himself briefly, transferring the limping Patty to Franklin’s care. He jogged over to his girlfriend and held her hand through the gaps of the metal fence. He gave her a timid smile.

“Hi.”

Lucy giggled and eyed him up and down. She lifted an amused brow at the sight of his uniform. “Since when did you become a part of the baseball team?” Schroeder rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

He shrugged. “Since Patts told the coach I had a better arm than most of the team.” Lucy hummed, retracted her hand, and crossed her arms. She grinned.

“I’ll be the judge of that, Sweetie. Okay, go on. Play ball,” she encouraged playfully, making a shooing motion with her hand. Schroeder shyly smiled, tipping his baseball hat slightly, before running back to his new team. He quickly introduced himself and received less than enthusiastic replies. Some didn’t even try to hide their distaste. That’s fine, he thought calmly, I’m just doing this for a friend.

The coach gave him a quick run down before sending him to center field where Patty last was. Franklin and Charlie Brown were on either side of him at left and right field. They gave him a firm nod, determination overcoming their features. From the dugout, Peppermint Patty shot him with her own look. You got this, she mouthed. Schroeder nodded and looked away. He ignored the nerves building in his tight glove. He bent into position.

The game began.

Defense was difficult. The team from the city was no joke. Nearly every batter swung a hit. Schroeder did his best fetching the balls before their feet could touch the plate. His tosses were surprisingly fast and precise, just as Patty had advocated for. He never realized how good he actually was since he only ever played casually with friends. I guess 10 years of baseball on the weekends was a surefire way to be a better than average baseball player.

Another thing that Patty was correct about was the ability of her team. Although Schroeder and his friends were playing their best, the rest of the team were… not as well equipped. They were marginally slower. Schroeder swore he was watching them play in slow motion. 

What the hell was with this team? Did they have weights on their feet? 

Eventually, they switched sides and now his team was on offense. Good. Maybe the team hit better than they can throw. The score was currently 3-4. Not great, but a win in their book wasn’t too far fetched. This was doable.

Schroeder tiredly plopped down onto the dugout bench next to his friends. The coach patted them each on the back, showering them with compliments with how tight they kept the back field. Schroeder sheepishly smiled, accepting the high praise, before cautiously eyeing the stands. 

Lucy was already looking at him. She was bent over her lap, head resting atop open palms. Her dainty fingers framed the sides of her face like the sepal of a flower. Her eyes pierced into Schroeder’s. A cheeky smile covered her face when he caught her staring. He flushed red but gave her a small wave. She sent a flying kiss in return.

Easily flustered, Schroeder averted his gaze. I’ll be the judge of that. He formed a fist in his lap. He needed to impress Lucy.

There were currently two players on the plates and now it was Franklin’s turn to bat. He hits a single on his second swing, but the player on 1st base is forced out. Charlie Brown goes up. He hits another single, just like Franklin before him, but the other unknown player gets tagged. 

The coach slapped him on the back and Schroeder sprung up like a wound up Jack-in-the-box. Peppermint Patty grinned and gave him a second slap for good luck. He gulped as he threw on a helmet and grabbed a bat. He was up next. 

His nerves pooled as sweat at the sides of his face whilst he approached home base. The wood in his hands felt heavier and heavier the closer he got. He glanced over at Franklin and Charlie Brown. He needed to hit at least a double for the scores to be even. Then he’d just have to hope the next batter after him could get one last hit in. Yeah. A double. He could do that, right?

Schroeder squatted down into position, the bat next to his head. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Cold hard determination was all there was when he reopened them. He stared down the pitcher in front of him. The opposing player shifted as he sensed the change in Schroeder.

The pitcher threw a curveball. Schroeder missed it by a hair. He shook his head and refocused, tapping the bat against the plate. That’s fine. He had two more tries. The second ball came in low. He didn’t even have time to react before the ball hit the catcher’s mitt behind him. Schroeder cursed. Only one attempt left.

Cheers of encouragement echoed from the dugout and from the stands behind him. He gripped the bat tighter. Focus, Schroeder.

“Schroeder!” Lucy’s voice rang clearly through the mix. He tuned everything else out and fixated on her calming voice from the rest of the crowd. “You can do it, Sweetie! I know you can!”

Schroeder smirked as he repositioned himself. Any ounce of doubt, any feeling of pressure melted away. If Lucy believed in him, then who was he to prove her wrong? Show her you can.

The pitcher, visibly irritated at the amount of support Schroeder was receiving, threw him a fastball. It was fast, but its flight path was predictably straight. Time seemed to slow down as the ball sped directly towards his face. 

Schroeder pulled the bat past behind his head and swung as hard as he could. He closed his eyes and winced from the force; this was beyond his normal range of motion. A lightning crack reverberated across the field. 

Schroeder opened his eyes and watched in shock as the ball flew. It was like a comet shooting through the sky. And it kept flying farther and farther away until it was no longer in sight, landing who knows where.

He just hit a home run. 

The stands went crazy. He saw Peppermint Patty and the coach jump up and scream. Realization clicked within Schroeder as he stumbled for 1st base. 

Schroeder laughed hysterically, throwing his head back to the sky, as he bolted from 2nd base to 3rd. His arms and legs ached and his lungs burned for air, but he kept running. The audience’s applause added fuel to the fire, powering him forward. The scoreboard behind him ticked from 3 to 4 to 5 as Franklin and Charlie Brown touched home base. 

As Schroeder turned the final corner, he spotted the crowded home plate. His friends were there, jumping up and down as he passed 3rd base. The coach and the rest of the baseball team were there too. The scornful looks he received earlier were replaced by excited cheers. 

And the cherry on top was his girlfriend among them. Lucy was there, standing in awe as he bolted toward home. The pounding in his heart doubled in intensity as he set his sights on her. Fresh air barreled into his lungs.

Lucy van Pelt was waiting for him at home plate.

Schroeder smiled wildly as he ran to her. Lucy’s arms opened with a proudness that made his heart soar. His right foot touched home base at the same time his arms wrapped around Lucy.

He raised her in the air as if she was the trophy he had just won and spun them in a circle. Lucy giggled right before Schroeder smothered her with a kiss.

Like her lips, life was sweet. How had he ever lived without Lucy van Pelt?

Chapter Text

“There is no way I can remember all of this for one exam! I give up!”

Lucy groaned and laid face down. She was sprawled across the top of Schroeder’s piano, arms spilling over the sides like a limp doll. Her forehead made a dull bang as she slammed her head against the closed piano lid. She was surrounded by a copious amount of study materials, the source of her current pain.

It was Spring Break, but instead of going out and having fun, they were currently studying for the upcoming SATs. Well, it was more so Lucy that was doing the rigorous studying. Schroeder was just the collateral to his studious girlfriend.

He was sitting on the floor when Lucy had her tantrum. He chuckled upon seeing his girlfriend’s lifeless form. Schroeder set down his prep book and pushed off the floor. Lucy did not stir as he approached her, making him grin in amusement.

She’s so dramatic, he mused. He experimentally poked her arm and chuckled again when she didn’t react. He gave her another poke, this time at her side. Lucy immediately jolted, ruining her facade. She rolled over on her side with a gasp, glaring up at Schroeder.

“How dare you interrupt my eternal slumber? Can’t you see that I was finally at peace?” He responded to her by poking her side again. Lucy yelped and curled into a ball, protecting her vulnerability. Schroeder grinned playfully and laid his head down, cheek flat, facing her. The sleek lid was cool against his skin. 

“You should take a break from studying,” he said softly. When Lucy’s face showed displeasure, he then added, “Cramming isn’t going to do you much good, y’know.”

Lucy sighed and flipped on her back, hands clasped on her stomach. She stared up at the ceiling. “I know. But what else am I supposed to do? There’s so much to study and the test is just in a couple months!” She threw her arms up, exasperated.

Schroeder shrugged and sat on the bench. He gently brushed Lucy’s draping hair out of the way of the keys and played a faint melody. He notices her breathing slow and shoulders relax as the quiet sound fills the air. Lucy sighs and returns to her stomach. She silently listens to Schroeder play a lullaby with closed eyes. Once he finished, she propped her head up in her hands.

“Was that an attempt to put me to sleep so I’d stop studying?”

Schroeder fought back a smirk and shrugged nonchalantly. “Did it work?” Lucy rolled her eyes and brought her head back down onto folded arms. 

“No. As you can see, Sweetie, I am still—unfortunately—wide awake.” Schroeder laughed. He leaned back just to get a better view of her. He got a sense of déja vu seeing her like this on his piano. The same room, the same people, but with a completely different relationship. Lucy might be awake, but he was very much dreaming.

He leaned forward again, his elbows pinging against the unprotected keys. Lucy’s eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips. She raised a teasing brow when his lips neared hers, but she didn’t move away. Just as he predicted she would. His Lucy was too prideful to admit defeat. Schroeder flicked her nose. She yelped, flinched, and clutched her nose.

“Hey!”  

Schroeder smiled at her pouty expression before pecking the tip of her nose. “Let’s take a break,” he suggested again. Lucy tilted her head. She thought to herself briefly before nodding. 

“Fine. I’m not opposed to the idea.” She slid off the piano and began gathering her study materials. “How long do you think we’ll be gone for? What should we go do?” Schroeder stood up and helped her. He stacked up the compiled papers.

“I was thinking a couple days in the city might help you destress.” Lucy suddenly froze, her head spinning to his direction. She gaped, staring at him as if it was the most bizarre idea ever.

“The city? Days? When I said I’d be down for a break, I was thinking more so going to the movies or… going out for dinner- not a whole trip out of town?!” Lucy started pacing. “No way. There’s simply no time. I must use this break wisely-”

Schroeder stalked towards her and stilled her by the arms. Her rambling ceases. He bends down slightly to her eye level; there’s a look of surprise in them. He puts up one finger.

“One day. We’ll spend one day in the city, stay the night, and be back the next morning. Then we can spend the rest of Spring Break studying. Does that sound alright to you?” 

Lucy blinked at him, her lashes fluttering. She chewed on her lip. She reiterated the plan softly, “One day, and we’ll get right back to SAT prep?” With a small smile, Schroeder hummed in agreement. Her teeth let go while she slowly nodded. “Okay… I suppose one day wouldn’t hurt.”

—

The wind was cool but the sun was warm. It was a lovely day for a roadtrip to the city and Schroeder’s car had fully taken on its responsibility as a “convertible.” Lucy’s hair was held back with a scarf, the wind ruffling the silk edges. A pair of large, black sunglasses covered her face. She tapped her finger to beat on her armrest and lightly hummed to the tune playing on the radio.

She pointed at the radio box. “Y’know, this song kind of reminds me of you.” 

This caught Schroeder’s attention. He reached for the dial and turned the volume up, curious.

On the day that you were born the angels got together,

And decided to create a dream come true,

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold,

And starlight in your eyes of blue.

Schroeder flushed red and switched the radio station. He didn’t know why he was so embarrassed; It’s not like the song was made for him. There were plenty of blonde haired, blue eyed boys in the great United States of America, not just him. 

He was not created by angels and he was no dream come true. Even with the facts laid out, his racing heart would not listen to his brain’s woes.

Lucy giggled and swatted his hand away, changing the radio back. He could do nothing but listen as Lucy sang along. He rolled his eyes.

“Good grief-”

“That is why all the girls in town… follow you… all around.” Lucy was a pleasantly decent singer, he discovered. Like the caress of soft velvet on a freshly shaved face. She lowered her glasses as she dramatically placed her hand over her chest. She threw her head back and held an imaginary microphone in her other hand. “Just like me, they long to be… close to youuuuu~” She pointed at Schroeder with a flirty wink.

Schroeder couldn’t help but laugh, a blush covering his face. “You’re ridiculous.” And he enjoyed every bit of it.

 Lucy chuckled and sat back in her seat. He sighed, thinking she was done with her performance, but she was far from finished. She stood with her knees on the seat and raised her arms out above the car. The scarf around her head slipped behind her neck, freeing her hair. Her wavy hair blew wildly behind her.

“On the day that you were born-”

If Schroeder was a painter, he would paint this very moment. A grinning Lucy van Pelt. Dark curls shimmering underneath the bright sun. Her arms up and wide with no care in the world. Green rolling hills in the background. 

Schroeder smiled to himself. She was illustrious. Perhaps instead of a painting, he would compose a song. He had to forcibly pry his eyes off of her and focus back on the road. Or else the painting would resemble more like The Scream than Water Lily Pond.

Schroeder didn’t sing—or more so, couldn’t—but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to be a part of this moment rather than be an onlooker. It was that selfish moment when a conductor wished to be a part of the orchestra rather than direct it. Indulging himself, he stepped into the painting with her.

He sang, “… sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue.” 

Lucy threw her head back and the melodious sound of her laugh harmonized with the song on the radio. She grinned down at Schroeder. Shouting over the rumbling wind, she yelled jokingly,  “You’re a terrible singer, Schroeder!”

Schroeder rolled his eyes but was not at all upset. “Gee, thanks, Luce.”

Lucy slid back down into the passenger seat with a teasing smile. She placed her sunglasses above her head before turning to Schroeder. “Aw, don’t stop! I was just playing, Sweetie. Sing with me!” 

He rolled his eyes but sang again, just as painfully tone deaf as before. Ironic really. Lucy didn’t tease him this time around. Smiling, she joined him in a chaotic but happy symphony.

—

It wasn’t Schroeder’s first trip into the city, but it was his first without his family. And his first with Lucy. Lucy assumed the role of tour guide and showed him all her favorite spots and more. 

They drove by her junior high and high school; he was amazed at how much bigger the schools were compared to the ones he grew up with. He recalled how Lucy said there were over 600 students in her graduating class and that wasn’t even including the other grade levels. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that there were so many people his age in such a condensed area. He supposed college in NYC would be similar, if not bigger.

Like Juilliard and NYU. Schroeder’s stomach dropped at the thought. Now’s not the time. Not yet, he reassured himself with a sigh, Graduation’s not for another couple months.

Then, they grabbed food at some local favorites rather than tourist spots where he and his parents always went to. Lucy specifically made sure they ate food that they couldn’t find back home. Skewers from a kabob stand where they sliced the meat straight off the spinning rotisserie wheel. Sugary fried bananas— plantains, Lucy corrected him, apparently they were different—served on a BBQ stick. Tiny fried octopus balls—which Schroeder couldn’t remember the name of—from the food court, and it was so delicious he had to buy another serving. 

As they got into the car after another round of delicious snacks, Schroeder had decided his stomach had enough. He turned to Lucy, who was reapplying her lipstick in the car mirror, and asked, “Where did you live, Luce? Is it around here?”

She stopped her grooming and put the cap back on her lipstick. She eyed Schroeder skeptically. “It’s sorta out of the way…”

Schroeder insisted on her showing him. Of course he was curious as to where she lived for the past decade. Lucy relented, although a little hesitant on the unnecessary drive. It took them about 30 minutes to get into the outskirts of the city where she used to live. 

They drove through the suburbs, and the buildings grew smaller and smaller. Although out of the city, the suburbs too had their own world and ecosystem. It was surprisingly not as quiet as he would have expected. Small children ran up and down the street and the park he drove past was filled with even more of them. Greasers, folks that maybe Linus might hang with, gathered around the fast food joints. When stopping for gas, they eyed Schroeder’s ride, but he couldn’t decipher whether or not they were disgusted or impressed. 

“Slow down,” Lucy instructed. She pointed down a side street. “Turn here. This is my neighborhood.” He took a right and was greeted by a line of near identical houses. Properties stood side by side, not wasting a single square foot. People’s yards were separated only by a white picket fence. Whereas back home, each street would only have a couple of houses, separated by fields of wild grass and trees. How did people in the city even get enough oxygen with the ratio of trees to cement to people?

Schroeder knew immediately which house was hers. In front of a quaint brick house, there was a bright red “SOLD” sticker slapped over a “FOR SALE” sign. At the end of the driveway was a mailbox, further confirmation that Lucy lived there. He could still make out the faded words “van Pelt” on the black exterior where her family must have stickered their last name.

He parked in front of her old house and took it all in. It was two stories just as the one she lived in now but sliced in half. There were three steps that led up to a small porch and the front door. 

He imagined her living here. Her life here. Little Lucy prancing up the steps after the school bus dropped her off, preteen Lucy giggling with girlfriends during a sleepover, teen Lucy waiting at the porch for one of her ex boyfriends. 

He didn’t appreciate that last memory very much. But still, it was ten years of memories that Schroeder will never get to know. 

Schroeder took his eyes off the house and instead glanced at the side of Lucy’s face. She was smiling as she stared at her old home. Her eyes were distant as memories consumed her. He wondered if any of his imaginations matched what she was reliving.

They didn’t spend much time at her old place. Nor did they speak—if Lucy even wanted to. After a few minutes, she only nodded and politely told Schroeder they should go. He didn’t pry. As he drove them back to the city, Schroeder wondered if Lucy would have chosen to move back here if given the choice. It looked like she missed it. His stomach clenched with anxiety. He shook his head. No use asking those “what-ifs.” 

Her cheery attitude returned once they made it back into the city. Lucy was more than delighted to show Schroeder this part of her life. She was animated, alive. Her eyes sparkled whenever she would recall a memory. 

She had pointed at an antique store with a small canopy above. “One time it rained so hard and none of us had an umbrella, so me and my friends huddled in front of this store. We still ended up absolutely drenched!” She snorted when she gestured towards the movie theatre she used to go to. “Linus nearly got arrested during a protest here. I, of course, worked my charm with the fuzz. He gave me his car for like a month to make up for it! Butttt that didn’t last long because I crashed it into a fire hydrant. Oops.”

And Schroeder listened to each story intently, eager to learn of the Lucy he had missed. He was grateful for any detail she shared, however big or small. 

And at night right after dinner, they cruised through highways that propelled into the sky. It was his first time driving on one, and at first he thought the road might just collapse while they were on it. There was no way driving at this height was legal, he had said to Lucy nervously, white-knuckling the steering wheel. His girlfriend had laughed and reassured him, but he didn’t dare look anywhere but straight ahead. 

His fears evaporated upon seeing a melted sky of reds and pinks. It was breathtaking. Skyscrapers lit up the night sky instead of stars, another sight you didn’t see back home. He wouldn’t necessarily trade stars for artificial light, but he would have to get used to the view pretty soon.

In New York, his mind taunted him for the millionth time today. He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about college right now.

After a long day of driving and exploring the city with Lucy, the two of them rolled into their 4th hotel lobby. For the amount of hotels in the city, it was surprisingly difficult to find a vacant room last minute. 

Schroeder noticed Lucy’s slumped form and chuckled. He guided her to a set of couches and let her sit down. “Just wait here. I’ll go see if they have a room.” Lucy gave him a small smile and nodded without saying a word. Just as he was turning away, a frown returned to her tired face. That made him smile a little. She was trying so hard to not be crabby.

Luckily, this hotel had plenty of available rooms for two. The clerk inquired whether he would like a room with two queen sized beds or a room with a single king sized bed. Schroeder froze. 

“You mean,” he said slowly, “Share a bed?” The employee raised a confused brow. Schroeder shook his head and bit his lip in deliberation. He glanced back at Lucy from across the lobby. She flipped through one of the available magazines on the coffee table.

Schroeder had a decision to make. The obvious choice was to choose the room with two beds. Or he could force Lucy to share a bed with him and tell her it was the only available room. He imagined her body pressing against his while they slept and blood rushed into his pants as a result. That choice—although tempting—tasted sour in his mouth. He sighed and actively decided to not be “that guy” once again.

Schroeder went back to Lucy, hotel key in his hand. She bounced up with found energy, beaming at his success. He took their bags and headed for the elevators. They shot up to the 6th floor where their room was on and they silently padded down the carpeted hallway.

“Alright. This one is ours,” he announced when stopping in front of their door. He unlocked it and pushed the door open. He switched on the lights and breathed a sigh of relief when they did, in fact, get a room with two beds. Another win for chivalry.

As Schroeder put down their bags on their respective beds, Lucy waltzed around and observed their suite with renewed vigor. She was obviously excited to get a good night’s sleep on a comfy hotel bed. 

She nodded in his direction with a grin. “Perfect. It’s clean. It’s spacious. Good job, Sweetie.” Schroeder blushed and nodded in response. Thank god he didn’t choose the room with one bed. 

Lucy ruffled through her bag and pulled out some clothes. She hurriedly hid them behind her back and turned to Schroeder. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?” He paled. They may not have to share beds, but they did have to share a bathroom. 

“Are you… going to shower?” A dumb question, really. Lucy chuckled and put her hands on her hips.

“Well, duh. I’m not going to bed smelling like outside.” Yup, a dumb question. Lucy rolled her eyes playfully at his dumbfounded expression and skipped to the bathroom. She stepped inside, but before she closed the door, she stuck her head out. “Don’t worry. I won’t take too long. I am considerate, y’know.” 

Her shower duration wasn’t what Schroeder was worried about. 

And rightfully so. 

The walls were practically paper. He heard every detail from the shower turning on and the water pelting down in the ceramic tub. To the ruffling of clothes and them falling to the floor with a dull thud . Schroeder sat frozen on the bed, horrified that he could hear everything that Lucy was doing.

Why was he listening? He shouldn’t be listening. But as he heard Lucy’s soft steps fade over to the bustling waterfall, he couldn’t help but careen forward. A disturbance to the water flow echoed with the falling of unnatural water drops. His Lucy Corner took over as it pushed an image of a showering Lucy in his mind. Her long, dark hair sticking flat against her neck and back, framing the artwork of her body. Soap suds covering her delicate, porcelain skin like a curtain of clouds. Her hands roaming over the expanse of soft skin. His pants tightened in response. 

It wasn’t until he heard a quiet sigh leave her lips did his morals finally wake. His cheeks flushed, his face as hot as the image of Lucy showering burned into his brain. He quickly fumbled for the TV remote and turned it on. The history channel flashed on with a special documentary on the Vietnam War. Perfect . Nothing like war and brutal death to calm the stirring under his zipper. He cranked up the volume until the sound of water was drowned out.

The TV was so loud that Schroeder didn’t notice the faucet in the bathroom turn off. Nor did he hear the bathroom door unlock. He was so focused on the documentary that he only noticed that Lucy had finished her shower once she passed by him. He lowered the volume. His head snapped to her and his breath caught in his throat.

Lucy’s idea of “pajamas” was an oversized band tee and nothing else. Her face was dyed pink, probably from her hot shower, as she padded over to her bed, barefoot. He was flattered that Lucy was comfortable enough around him to be practically half dressed, but his self-restraint was at its end. 

Schroeder didn’t dare look down at the subtle bounce underneath her loose shirt. He felt himself grow excited once again.

“I’m gonna go shower now too,” he announced suddenly as he shot out of bed. He quickly grabbed his own pajamas and darted into the still-steaming bathroom. 

“Wait!”

Dutifully ignoring Lucy’s warnings, he locked himself inside. He sighed, relieved to put some distance between them, but that relief would be short lived as his feet touched something other than cold tile. He looked down and turned as white as the floor. 

Lucy had left her dirty clothes. Something pink and lacy stood out from the rest. Schroeder grew dizzy.

A knock. “Um, Schroeder?” Lucy’s soft voice echoed behind the closed door. “I left my clothes in there. Do you mind passing them to me?” Sweet Jesus.

Schroeder tried not to think as he blindly gathered Lucy’s clothes, making sure the lacy thing stayed tucked in the middle where he wouldn’t touch it. He opened the door a crack and stuck his arm out with the offering. Lucy muttered a tiny thank you and he could only respond with a shaky “Mhm.”

After a longer than usual shower, Schroeder stepped out of the bathroom feeling refreshed and relieved. The main room lights were off now and were traded for the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Lucy laid on her stomach, ankles crossed in the air, as she watched TV. The warm light bathed her exposed legs, making her skin look tan. She glanced over at Schroeder who had just emerged from the bathroom. 

She popped a chip into her mouth and extended the bag to him in offering. “Want some?” 

Schroeder forced his eyes to stay on her face as he shrugged and walked over to her side of the room. “Sure.”

Lucy scooched over to give him enough room. They both laid on their stomachs, arms touching. As he lay next to her, stark realization dawned on him. He was alone in a room with Lucy. It was different from when they were alone in her bedroom. Back then, her family was home, her parents just downstairs to deter any ill intentions. But they were miles away from home. Here, in this hotel room, there was nothing— no one —that would bat an eye if he and Lucy were to…  

He shook his head. That was some dangerous thinking. Just watch some television, Schroeder, and get your mind out of the gutter. 

During his shower, Lucy had changed the channel to a soap opera. Whatever plot had developed was done and over because he was wildly confused. He quickly grew bored with the show. His mind drifted back to Lucy and her being here with him. He became hyper aware of everything. His damp hair sent a trickle of water down his neck. The droning buzz of the overhead fan. Lucy’s warm skin against his.

Lucy yawned, covering her mouth. She switched the TV off and looked over at Schroeder. “I’m sleepy. Are you ready for bed?” 

She stared at him expectantly, blinking wordlessly. He broke from his trance and stood hurriedly. “Oh, uh- yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty tired too.” Lucy smiled at him and crawled over to her set of pillows. Schroeder did the same on his own bed. He kept his eyes on her as she reached over to turn off the lampshade, her figure being the last thing he saw before it went dark.

“Goodnight, Schroeder.” 

He sighed happily and responded, “Goodnight, Lucy.”

Despite being exhausted, Schroeder could not fall asleep. The analog clock on the bedside table told him that he’s been trying to sleep for 20 minutes, to no avail. He sighed and turned on his side, refacing Lucy’s bed. Although she was just a carpet aisle away, she felt so far. He wished he could just crawl into her bed and hold her, the smell of lilies lulling him to sleep as if they were poppies. But he supposed he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep in those conditions either. 

There was shuffling over on her end.

“Schroeder?” Lucy whispered quietly, “Are you still awake?” 

He grinned and sunk further into his pillow. “Sorry. Did I wake you?” He heard her sheets ruffle again as she presumably changed positions. She hummed.

“No. Just couldn’t sleep.”

Schroeder chuckled lightly. “Me too.” 

They were quiet for a long while before Lucy broke the silence.

“For college,” she began. Schroeder held his breath. Thinking about the future brought him more unease nowadays than it had before. It was weird to think that it once brought him comfort. “You’re attending that performing arts school, right? Juilliard?” Schroeder nodded although she couldn’t see him. He blew the nerves sharply out of his nose.

“Yeah. I am. Why?” He recalled Lucy’s list of pros and cons. Pros: Schroeder. He prayed that this wasn’t the reason why she brought college up. She responded with a “no reason” and it was back to silence. He sighed in relief. Good. He let the sounds of the bustling city fill the room. He heard a siren in the distance. 

“About college…” he paused. He was going to question her on NYU, but quickly decided against it. Lucy hummed, waiting for him to continue. He came up with something else. “Have you decided where you’re going to go yet?”

She sighed heavily, the sound of it stressed. “No, I haven’t yet. I’m just so… torn.” Schroeder propped himself up on his elbow, still staring at her dark figure from across the room.

“About what? You’re still planning on going into pre-med, right?” Psychology, he remembered that clearly. He just needed to deter the conversation from another, very stressful topic. One that he’d like to continue to avoid.

“Precisely what I’m so conflicted about,” Lucy said. “Harvard, Baylor, Johns Hopkins. There’s so many good programs that it’s difficult to choose.” A dry chuckle left her lips. “That is, if any of them will accept me in any way. That is another reason for stress in itself.”

“Well, you don’t have to apply to just one university, right? You can send in multiple applications.” That was the only bit of advice he could give her, and he only knew that because of Charlie Brown who already had his eyes set on multiple colleges across the state. 

Lucy sighed again, somewhat more relaxed. “Yeah. I suppose you’re right. I-” her voice cracked, “I don’t know why I’m so stressed. Graduation’s not for another couple of months.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice. He wondered if Lucy often thought about their unknown future as much as he did. 

“We- you have plenty of time to think about it later. But you’re tired right now so there’s no use dwelling on what’s to come.” The advice was more than just directed at her. It was for him too. “If you ever want to talk about what’s on your mind, I’m here for you. I bet I’m more fun to talk to than your diary.” At that, Lucy chuckled. 

“Woah, don’t get your ego too high up, mister,” she said jokingly. He could hear the smile in her voice. “But I’ll keep you in mind the next time I need a good chat. Or a much needed distraction.”

Schroeder chuckled and laid back down. This was like their nightly phone calls back home, except face to face. This was nice. “I wouldn’t mind being a distraction,” he flirted back effortlessly. Flirting was easy when it came to someone Schroeder cared for deeply. It was easy with Lucy.

“Oh, stop it,” Lucy snorted. “Go to sleep, you blockhead. Before I go over there and we both don’t sleep tonight.” Schroeder gulped and took her threat seriously. He closed his eyes with a smile. He drifted off to sleep in no time. All he needed to do was imagine Lucy cuddled up next to him.

—

Schroeder’s last Spring Break as a highschooler had come and gone like the frequent rain. As promised, he and Lucy studied for the remainder of the break with barely any of those “distractions” she mentioned. He almost wished her mind was feeble enough to feed into his constant wanting of these “distractions.” But alas, his own girlfriend had more self-restraint than he. 

The Monday back from break, he stared out the window as his homeroom teacher explained the details of the upcoming annual school event. The kite-flying contest. 

“Psst.” Charlie Brown poked his back with the eraser side of his pencil. Schroeder turned slightly to the side, but not too much that the teacher would notice them talking. He raised a brow. His friend grinned as he whispered, “Wanna be my partner for the fourth year in a row? Whatcha say, Schroeder?” 

Every year, he and Charlie Brown partnered up for the annual event. They’d make their kite from scratch and fly it alongside the rest of the school. The principal and a committee of teachers and even parents would rate each kite based on design and functionality. And every year without fail, Charlie would somehow manage to fly their kite into a tree or into the pond or their kite would just shoot straight down and break itself. They’ve never won the contest, but Schroeder would have it no other way. It was just for fun, so no harm could be done. He rolled his eyes jokingly before nodding.

“Yeah. Of course, Charlie Brown. I’d be upset if you chose someone else in our senior year.” His friend chuckled quietly and slunked back in his seat. Schroeder tuned out the fourth year of repeated instructions, that is, until she announced that she preferred to have the partners randomized. 

Charlie Brown slammed his hands on his desk, causing Schroeder to jump. He groaned, obviously upset. “Aw, man. What? We’re seniors and we can’t do something simple like choose our own partners?” This seemed to rile the class up. Now everyone was upset. For his brilliant outburst, the teacher awards Charlie Brown with detention. He slumps back on his chair with a huff. “Whatever. This blows.”

Being set as the perfect example, the rest of the class quieted with the threat of getting detention. The teacher cleared her throat and pulled out a mason jar filled with slips of paper with their names already written. She picks them out in pairs, announcing their official partners for the annual kite-flying competition.

Pigpen and Violet.

Shermy with Marcie.

Peppermint Patty with… the other Patty.

Miraculously, Charlie Brown had been paired up with Heather. His face lit up with glee as the red-haired girl shyly waved at him from across the classroom, her cheeks as red as her hair. Charlie Brown didn’t seem too upset at not being Schroeder’s partner now.

As the number of slips dwindled in the jar, and with neither he or Lucy having a partner yet, Schroeder giddily entertained the idea of them being partners. That would be the greatest turn out to this while assigned partners fiasco. 

That idea would soon be torn into itty bitty pieces as the teacher assigns Lucy with Franklin. These itty bitty pieces were then set aflame when the teacher reads out his name alongside Frieda’s. 

You’ve got to be shitting me.

The girl loudly gasped and covered her mouth as Schroeder sat unmoving at his desk. Charlie Brown winced behind him while he felt the lonesome eyes of a certain red-head girl on the side of his face. He ignored it and glanced over at Lucy. He found that she was already staring at him. A flicker of jealousy flashed in her eyes before she quickly looked away. Schroeder felt his stomach drop and he laid his head in his hands to have some sense of comfort.

All he could think of for the remainder of class was: What a mess. 

—

“What color should we make our kite, Schroeder? I was thinking maybe something like red or pink. What do you think?” Or maybe a lovely beige, he thought lamely to himself, Because that’s how I feel working with you. Bored. 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever color you want,” he muttered halfheartedly. He couldn’t care less about this silly project. It wasn’t graded and they weren’t even friends. He played a classic on the piano while Frieda laid on the floor, sketching ideas for their kite onto a piece of paper. She tapped a colored pencil onto the page, swinging her legs back and forth in thought. She turned to look at Schroeder still on his piano. 

She frowned. “Won’t you at least show some interest? You’re making me do all the work right now.” Schroeder sighed, shoulders sagging. Frieda was right. Although he couldn’t bring himself to care about the contest now that he wasn’t partnered up with his best friend or his girlfriend, he shouldn’t make his actual partner do the whole project alone. 

Begrudgingly, he slipped off the piano bench and joined her on the floor. He made sure to keep a considerable distance away from her. The girl at least seemed pleased at how easily he cooperated. She cleared her throat and pointed to a couple drawings she made.

“As for the shape, I wanted to make something that stood out from the rest of the kites.” She pointed at a heart-shaped kite, “What do you think about this one? Cute, right?” Schroeder didn’t try hiding his disgust. His face scrunched together as if he just ate something sour.

“A bit too… romantic don’t you think, Frieda?” He said plainly, his voice clipped. Frieda opened her mouth in defense, but Schroeder shot her down with a sharp look. Don’t push it.  

The girl pursed her lips into a straight line. She huffed and pointed at the other drawing. “Fine, fine. Here, what about this other one?” Schroeder examined the other shape.

“A butterfly?” Schroeder questioned. It was certainly a better option than the heart, but he doubted the logistics of it flying. Frieda rolled her eyes. 

“It’s a dragonfly," she corrected. "But close enough. What do you think?” Schroeder shrugged.

“It’s certainly unique.” And that’s everything polite he had to say. Frieda hummed, pleased to hear even a remote compliment from Schroeder. 

The doorbell rang, forcing Schroeder up to his feet. His classmate looked on as he exited the music room. 

Lucy was there when he opened the front door. He smiled, his spirits immediately being lifted upon seeing her beautiful face. He leaned against the doorframe and grinned at her. “Done with Franklin already? I’m surprised.” Schroeder wasn’t the only one working on the kite project early. 

Lucy nodded with a happy smile. “Yup! We didn’t need to do much today anyways, just sketched out the design we wanted.” Schroeder nodded. Talking to Lucy, he had nearly forgotten of the other girl in his home.

“Schroeder? Who’s at the door?” Frieda popped her head out from over his shoulder, her hand on his bicep. “Oh.”

Lucy’s face fell at seeing Frieda being so close to him. Schroeder inwardly groaned and gently nudged the redhead away. She pouted at his coldness. His girlfriend chuckled awkwardly and clasped her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the two of you were still working.”

Frieda scoffed, her nose sticking up in the air snottily, “Well, yes-”

“No, we’re finished,” Schroeder cut her off. “She was just about to leave.” The girl’s face curled up in hurt and confusion.

“But the design-”

Schroeder sighed, annoyed. “Red and pink. Dragonfly,” he said while counting two fingers. Lucy was silent as she watched his impatience unfold. “I thought that’s what you wanted?” She opened her mouth only to close it again.

“Yes. Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, Schroeder.” Without looking back, Frieda darted out of his house with her belongings. Schroeder sighed, relieved that she was gone. Until tomorrow again at least. 

He let Lucy inside without a moment to spare. She timidly followed him inside the music room. Schroeder smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek as he closed the door behind her. Lucy flinched away from him. He frowned, confused. Lucy loved it when he initiated.

“What’s the matter, Luce?” 

Her frown deepened as she crossed her arms. “I don’t like how you treated Frieda. You were really mean just now.” He blinked down at her. 

“Because I don’t like Frieda.” Lucy shook her head disappointedly. Schroeder’s heart dropped at her expression. He quickly learned that he didn’t like Lucy being upset with him and immediately wanted to appease her. 

“Okay, fine. I might have been a little meaner than I should have.” Her eyes narrowed. Wrong answer. Schroeder raised his arms up defensively. “Very mean,” he corrected himself. He sighed, defeated. “But what do you want me to do? Be nice to her? She’s insufferable!” He rubbed his face in irritation. He looked at Lucy with dead eyes. “Y’know she wanted to make a heart before a dragonfly, right?” 

Lucy’s eyes widened and her face flushed red, further proving his point. He gave her a look that said “See? I told you. Insufferable.” She waved him off, pretending that that knowledge didn’t affect her. 

“So don’t indulge her. You can make it clear you’re not interested while not being a complete jerk.” True. He could just be indifferently polite, just as he was before dating Lucy. He couldn’t help it. A flip was switched the moment they got together. He was apprehensive and avoided other girls like the plague unless those girls were his friends—or Lucy’s. On the bright side, he would only have to work with Frieda for a week during this project anyways. He didn’t want to, but he’d do it for Lucy’s sake. He nodded and grabbed her hands. He squeezed them.

“Okay. I won’t be so mean next time. Please don’t be mad anymore.” Lucy snorted.

“Who said I was mad at you?” Schroeder pouted and poked the corner of her mouth.

“Your pretty mouth did. You were practically yelling at me.” And he meant that seriously. Lucy bursted out laughing and buried her face in his chest. Her laughter rumbled wonderfully against his chest. She sighed happily before going on her tiptoes, planting a soft kiss to his lips. He blushed as if it was their first. 

“You’re ridiculous. You know that, Sweetie?” 

Schroeder grinned mischievously, pulling her closer by her hips. She let out an adorable welp. “Will you let your boyfriend be a little more ridiculous?” 

She rolled her eyes but let Schroeder take her lips in his, kissing her deeply. He truly was ridiculous. Ridiculously in love with Lucy van Pelt.

—

In order to finish the kite project while simultaneously satiating each other’s need to be near each other, Schroeder, Lucy, Franklin, and Frieda decided they would make their kites together; a brilliant idea made by Franklin. So, after school, they met at Franklin’s house. Lucy gave him a look of warning before they knocked on the door. Be nice. 

He rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. ‘Don’t be a jerk.’ I’ll be good, I promise.” Lucy smiled and hummed, pleased with his answer. She patronizingly patted his shoulder.

“Good boy.” 

She proceeded to knock. Schroeder sighed. Here goes. The door swings open to a grinning Franklin. He greets them before ushering them inside and to the dining room. Frieda was already waiting at the table, supplies at the ready. Her ringlet of curls bounce as she looks up at them upon their entrance. Her eyes land on Schroeder before looking over at Lucy on his arm and back to him.

She huffed. “Took you long enough. I was about to start without you.” Then she stood up abruptly, causing the chair to scratch unpleasantly against the floor. She marched up to the two of them and pulled Schroeder away from Lucy a little too aggressive for his taste. “Let’s get a move on.”

Schroeder’s eye twitched as he itched to say something Lucy would consider “mean.” He glanced over at his deflected girlfriend and she gave him that same look at the door. Right. “Be nice.”

He gently pried the redhead’s hand off his forearm. Schroeder shot her a forced smile. “Sorry. We can start now.” Frieda seemed taken aback with his response, almost as if she was expecting him to say something else. Her expression changed to one of happiness.

“Yes! Going off of what we talked about yesterday-”

Schroeder glanced over at Lucy. How was that? She smiled and gave a thumbs up in approval before going to talk to Franklin. He sighed and smiled to himself, not completely paying attention to what Frieda was saying. 

For the rest of that week, Schroeder and Lucy would spend their afternoon at Franklin’s house for this kite project. It was the same old routine for 5 days. 5 days of him being polite to Frieda and 5 days of his girlfriend praising him for his good behavior.

Schroeder was beginning to think that he was treating the girl too nicely. In these 5 days, Frieda’s own behavior towards him was growing into something of delusion. Speaking of-

“Oh, Schroeder~” Frieda said in a sing-song voice. She playfully bumped into his shoulder from where they sat at the table. He bit back a remark and looked at her.

“Yes?” 

She giggled. He inwardly cringed. He usually adored the sound when it came from Lucy, but it didn’t sound right coming from Frieda. He glanced over at Lucy and Franklin at the other end of the dining table. 

They were having a much better time than Schroeder. They were bent over their kite adding the final details to their creation. A bright yellow and orange bird with a trail of black and yellow diamonds at its end. A lightning bird, Lucy explained to him the other day, Because that’s how fast we’re going to win the competition. Schroeder had to admit, it was clever. They could actually win if their kite could fly as good as it looked.

He watched on in envy as the two talked so casually. Lucy laughed out loud at something Franklin said. The jock laughed loudly along with her. She clutched her stomach and wiped a tear from her eye. His heart clenched. 

For the record, he had never felt insecure in his relationship with Lucy. She was just as obsessed with him as he was crazy about her. He knew that. He knew that as the promise ring he gave her for Christmas never left her finger. The same goes for the necklace she gave that was tucked underneath his shirt. But as he watched his girlfriend and one of his closest friends laugh like they’ve known each other forever, jealousy festered like an infected wound. 

No. It wasn't like that, he scolded himself . Franklin may have several girlfriends a year, but they were friends. He couldn’t imagine him trying anything. He would never- Scratch that. Even if Franklin did try something with his girlfriend— hypothetically — Lucy would never. Right? It was a thought as sick as he felt. How could he ever think that way of Franklin, his friend? Of Lucy? Shame rose in him, signaling red on his cheeks. 

“Are you even listening?” A hand touched his face. His eyes widened as Frieda cupped his cheeks. A look of concern etched itself deeply into her brows. “Your face is hot. Are you alright, Sweetie?”

Sweetie? That was it. That was the final straw. “Be nice,” his girlfriend had instructed him, so he behaved in order to make her happy. He could handle the less than subtle flirting and the light touching. Whatever niceties he reserved specifically for Frieda were chewed up and spit out the moment she used Lucy’s nickname for him. That was her thing. Only she could call him that. Screw being “nice.” Screw this estranged project. Frieda can fly their kite by herself with the winds of her own audacity. 

Schroeder harshly slapped her hand away, causing her to gasp in surprise. He didn’t even recognize his own voice when he angrily told her, “Don’t ever call me by that name again.” 

Whatever “relationship” she imagined they had built in these past few days came crumbling down. Her face crumpled into hurt. 

“Oh. I thought-”

Schroeder didn’t bother listening. He stood up and left, leaving an upset Frieda and a baffled Franklin and Lucy. 

He rushed outside, the cool spring breeze pleasant on his heated face. Clarity struck as anger left his body. He paced back and forth in front of his parked car. He couldn’t just leave without Lucy, but he couldn’t exactly go back inside after the scene he just made. 

He messed up. Lucy would be so mad at him.

His head snapped to the side as the front door opened. Lucy stepped out, both their backpacks in tow. She didn’t look at him as she slowly walked down the driveway. Shit. Was she mad? Her whole body was tense, her face screwed tightly into a frown. Her cheeks were flushed pink while she chewed on her bottom lip. He blanched. He was in so much trouble. Schroeder cursed to himself and hurriedly met her halfway, reaching for the bags from her shoulders.

“Look, Lucy. I’m sor- Mmf.” He’s cut off by the harsh press of Lucy’s lips. She’s gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her height. His eyes widened in surprise before fluttering shut. He didn’t understand, but he didn’t care what caused her to kiss him out of the blue. If this was his punishment, he should have been meaner sooner.

Their bags drop to the ground as Schroeder’s hands reflectively land on her hips. She’s kissing him fast, desperately, and he could barely keep up. Dizzy, he loses his balance, tripping backwards. Thankfully, the hood of his car catches them both. Lucy steps between his legs, spreading them open with her knee, and not once did she break their kiss. She tilts his head up for a better angle by roughly pulling on his hair. 

Good. This felt so good.

Schroeder was putty in Lucy’s hands. He’s trapped with no escape, sandwiched between hard metal and Lucy’s soft body. Is this what they meant by a “golden cage?” If so, what a glorious cage it was.

Lucy pulls away first, panting. Her face is red as she stares down Schroeder with dilated pupils. His own breathing is haggard, his heart pounding as if he had just ridden a rollercoaster. What on Earth just happened? That kiss was… different. A good sort of different. It was exhilarating. He wanted to do it again.

“Wow,” was all he could say. He blinked up at Lucy like a fervent believer. “What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.” Lucy chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

“Can I be honest with you, Schroeder?” 

He nodded. “Of course, Luce.”

She sighed and looked away. A tint of pink dusted the tips of her ears. “I was jealous. I… don’t like how close you and Frieda have gotten these past few days.” Well, that was ridiculous. He opened his mouth in defense, but Lucy quickly placed a finger atop his lips. She clicked her tongue. “And before you say something, I know. It’s utterly ridiculous. I’m the one who told you to be nice to her in the first place.” She added, muttering shyly, “Me being the bigger person sorta bit me in the butt.” 

Schroeder grinned. The whole time he was being jealous of her and Franklin’s blossoming friendship, he hadn’t noticed that Lucy was also watching him.  

He chuckled as he brought her finger down. “You were jealous because you thought me and Frieda were getting along?” He reiterated, amusement lining his voice. Lucy blushed in response. She huffed, still refusing to look at him. He rolled his eyes with a smile and placed a finger to the side of her chin, directing her to look at him. Her warm brown eyes stared at him with an innocence that wasn’t there a moment ago. “Since it wasn’t obvious enough, let me make it clear. Nothing’s going on between me and Frieda.” 

Lucy pouted and crossed her arms. “She called you ‘Sweetie.’” Her face scrunched together and she stuck her tongue out. Schroeder chuckled at her disgusted expression.

“Uh huh. And then I told her that she couldn’t do that. Didn’t I?” 

She frowned, but a cheek-eating grin fought it away. She giggled. “Yeah. I suppose you did.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him off the hood. “And it was super hot, Sweetie.” She winked.

Schroeder blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. Him? “Hot?” That was new. 

—

It was a beautiful day to fly a kite, Schroeder had to admit.

The day of the kite-flying competition came and so Schroeder was forced to work with Frieda one last time. This time though, she was surprisingly quiet. She kept her distance while they flew their dragonfly kite and only spoke to Schroeder if she needed to. He was glad—and perhaps a twinge bit sorry that their partnership ended so bitterly. Maybe being mean was the best approach for the two of them. At least when it came to someone who didn’t understand boundaries.

Although they didn’t win 1st, their kite won 4th place for design and originality. 2nd place was given to Patty squared for their red kite shaped like a dragon; the only reason why their design didn’t win 1st was because the amount of cardboard used made their kite slow and dip up and down uncontrollably. 3nd place went to Marcie and Shermy’s classic diamond kite. 

He didn’t even get to see Charlie Brown and Heather’s kite fly. As soon as it went up in the air, a hawk came swooping down—seemingly out of nowhere—and snatched their project away. Perhaps their kite was fish-shaped. Heather gaped in shock, unaware of Charlie Brown’s bad luck when it came to kite-flying until now, that is. Schroeder laughed as his friend chased down the end of the fishing line in futility. 

Schroeder watched from afar as Franklin and Lucy won 1st place in their grade—deservedly so. Their bright kite was brilliant in the blue sky. And it flew like a bullet, cutting through the sky with its sharp wings. If it weren’t for the bright yellow, nearly neon, color, he may have mistaken their lightning bird for a real, live bird.

She squealed and jumped up and down as the principal awarded them with a blue, 1st place ribbon. She and Franklin high-fived. She scanned the crowded park until she spotted Schroeder. She waved the ribbon in the air with a big grin. Pride was written all over her face.

He chuckled to himself as he remembered his girlfriend’s confidence in her winning. Just to show that if Lucy had her mind set on something, she would make it happen. Lucy van Pelt was more radiant than any kite, inside and out. 

He couldn’t bear it if someone were to snuff out that bright light.

Chapter Text

Schroeder exited the testing room and breathed a sigh of relief. 

SATs were officially over—for him at least; he was the first of his friends to finish the last section of the exam. It wasn’t as difficult as people made it seem. Lucy was stressed over this big exam for months, forcing him to study as long and as rigorous as she did. She was brutal in their studies. Relentless.

Perfection was the bare minimum.

With his early acceptance into Juilliard, he wasn’t necessarily worried about the SATs—although he still needed to submit a score. He just didn’t need to put as much effort into studying as Lucy did. He knew that his girlfriend just needed the support, so that’s what he did, even if it did fry his brain.

He was just glad it was over. Now, the remainder of senior year should be smooth sailing.

He slid down the set of lockers outside of homeroom. He stared at a wall clock nearby. There was just another 20 minutes left. 

Charlie Brown and Marcie walked out at the same time. They immediately spot Schroeder on the floor and join him. Marcie gave him a small smile, adjusting her glasses. She didn’t seem at all perturbed. “How do you think you did, Schroeder?” He shrugged. 

“Okay, I guess. It wasn’t that hard.” The girl nodded and didn’t say anything else. Schroeder turned his head to the boy on his left. “What about you, Charlie Brown?” The boy huffed and crossed his arms.

“I wish. I just about gave up at the end there. I don’t think I did too bad overall, though.”

The once empty hallway began to fill with more students as the timer went down. Shermy and Pigpen high-five each other as they walk out, mentally clocked out of highschool already. Good luck to their teachers from now until graduation. 

Franklin comes out looking sick. English is so damn difficult for no reason, he complained. Grammar was never his strong suit coming from the fact that he’s lived in several other countries before his family settled in their little patch of the world. Violet and Lucy’s Patty finished a minute apart from each other. They wave at Schroeder, him politely waving back, and sit along a different set of lockers. At about 5 minutes left, the door swung open with a ruckus and Peppermint Patty walks out. 

She yawned obnoxiously loud while she stretched. “Whew! That was the longest 3 hours of my life!” She squeezes between Charlie Brown and Marcie and lets her head fall dramatically onto her best friend’s shoulder. 

“Ugh. How could they just make us do that exam in the middle of the day with no snack break? And on a Saturday!” Marcie patted Patty’s head as if to say, There, there. The jock shot off of the floor and pushed her hips forward, stretching her back. “I’m starving, guys. Let’s go grab a pizza.” Her neck craned forward and whistled the attention of Lucy’s friends just sitting several feet down. “You two want to come too?”

The group responds with an enthusiastic chorus of yes’s and please’s. Schroeder’s stomach grumbled in anticipation. As they stood up, he glanced at the closed classroom door. Lucy had not come out yet.

“You guys go on ahead. I’m gonna wait for Lucy and we’ll catch up.” 

Peppermint Patty saluted and marched for the exit. Franklin called out over his shoulder, “We’ll save you and Lucy a slice!” 

Pigpen snickered and hollered back, “Unless I get to it first!” Charlie Brown pushed his band mate with a roll of the eyes. 

“Don’t worry, Schroeder. We’ll order plenty.” Schroeder nodded in appreciation and watched as his friends left. 

He sighed as he slid back down the lockers, the hallways empty once more. He was so hungry, he was nearly tempted enough to leave with them. But nevermind. He glanced back up at the clock. 1 minute left. Lucy would be finished, quite literally, any minute now.

He smiled as the door opened, his girlfriend finally walking out of the testing room. She really used every minute for that exam. That smile dropped when he saw the look on her face. Tears lined her wide eyes and she sniffled. 

“Schroeder…” Her voice cracked like a somber prayer.

He shot up like a spring and embraced her, no questions asked. Lucy buried her face into his chest and he felt his thin cotton shirt grow damp. He rubbed her back rhythmically, his other hand keeping her head close to him. 

His mind was running a mile a minute. What could have Lucy break down into tears in the middle of the hallway? It had to be because of the exam, right? There was no other explanation.

Once she had a good enough cry, she slowly pushed off Schroeder’s chest. She looked up at him with a frown. “I definitely did not get a 1600.” His question was answered.

His brows furrowed. He knew this SAT score was important to her—or at least to the colleges she was looking at getting into. Nearly all of them required a near perfect score. But did she really expect to get a perfect 1600? Even Marcie probably didn’t achieve such a score. Still, he consoled her, “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that, Luce. How many do you think you got wrong?” Her bottom lip quivered after his question so he quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me. I just thought-”

“I know I got two questions wrong for sure in Grammar. And- Ugh. I think I messed up one in the Math section as well.” Schroeder nodded in understanding.

“Well,” he said carefully, afraid to say something that might upset her further, “That’s not too bad, right?” Wrong. Lucy groaned and wiggled out of his arms. Her face twisted into something that looked like envy.

“Easy for you to say, genius. You’re already accepted into your dream school. You never even had to try.” 

He physically recoiled backwards. She practically slapped Schroeder in the face.

What? Is that what she thought? That he didn’t have to try? He may not have had to put so much effort into the SAT, but make no mistake, that effort was spent elsewhere. For more than a decade, he poured his own blood, sweat, and tears into honing his skills on the piano. And he would have given up even more if it meant giving him a better chance in achieving his goal. Sure, getting an early acceptance letter was a blessing given by God himself, but everything before that was all him. No one, not even Lucy, could take that credit away from him.

The words rolled out of her mouth like butter. It was as if it was a thought she had been keeping secretly to herself. Lucy may not have physically hurt him, but her insensitive words gutted him. She loved him, sure, but how long had she also slightly resented him?

Schroeder’s back went rigid as his arms fell to his sides. Lucy blanched, realizing what she had just said. She grabbed his hand with sweaty palms and wide eyes. He stared down at her blankly, still processing a new batch of unfamiliar feelings. Feelings that he had never felt with Lucy.

“Oh my god. Schroeder- Sweetie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” 

A small voice in the back of his head urged him to pull away. To yell. Maybe even throw his own insult at her for good measure. But what good would that do him? To their relationship? Lucy was just stressed, he told himself. Although he was deeply hurt, he needed to be the bigger person here, for Lucy’s sake rather than his own. They could talk about this later when she was in a better headspace.

He swallowed the pit in his throat, bobbing his head into a small nodding motion. “It’s alright. I know you didn’t truly mean it, Lucy. You’re just stressed.”

Lucy audibly let out a breath of relief, some of that stress leaving her tense shoulders. She’s the one hugging Schroeder this time, tightly wrapping her short arms around his. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

Schroeder chuckled softly and hugged her back. “You can say you’re sorry by buying me a slice of pizza. Actually, make it two.”

After a small, post-SAT celebration at the local pizza place, Schroeder and Lucy split off and grabbed some ice cream. 

“One vanilla in a cup and another one with strawberry, please.”

“Oh! Can you actually put the strawberry in a cone please?” Lucy accepted her cone happily. “Thanks!”

Schroeder paid before they went to sit on the bench outside, their arms touching and hands held. They were silent as they ate. He watched her take the final bite of her cone before finally confronting her.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were jealous of me?” 

Lucy choked on her ice cream cone, snatching her hand away from his. She covered her mouth, wiping it, before laughing. “What? Jealous? Of you? Jealous about what, Sweetie? Where did that even come from?” Her voice was nervous, shaking. She wouldn’t look at him, staring down at the hands she fidgeted with in her lap. Lucy wore her heart out on her sleeve which made her a terrible liar.

“Yes. Yes you are,” he said in a calm but firm voice. He doubled down. “Your outburst at school, you said I was a genius and that I never had to try. You sounded jealous.” Lucy sputtered and stared at him with a baffled expression. Her face turned red, aflame with humiliation. She huffed and abruptly stood up.

“Well, you sound like you’re being a jerk right now. I already said I was sorry.” She turns, about to walk away, but Schroeder grabs her wrist before she can storm off. She spins back around, her face scrunched together in anger. “Let go.”

Schroeder sighed but let go of her wrist. “I know you’re sorry, and I’m not mad—anymore. I just want to talk about it.” He sighed again and shot Lucy a small smile to show her that he truly wasn’t upset. “Can you sit back down, Luce? Please?”

Every relationship has its issues, and this one might be theirs. He just wanted to clear the air. The last thing he wanted was to have their relationship strained during the best time of senior year.

Lucy seemed to have an inward debate with herself. She bit her lip as she stared down at Schroeder. He noticed the moment she agreed before she even said anything; her face relaxed and she sighed deeply. 

“Okay,” she relented, sounding defeated. She sat back down next to him, but with considerably more distance than before. Schroeder frowned but took the small win.

He knew he had to speak to Lucy, but he didn’t really think this far ahead. He was still relatively new to this whole “communicate your feelings” thing. How does one approach this? What does he even say? I’m sorry you’re jealous of me. How do I make you not feel that way? What an absolute terrible conversation starter. He wished that life came with instructions to help him in situations like this. Maybe he should try making her confess first? 

He sharply inhaled before speaking, “Did… Do you have anything to say to me?” Lucy raised a brow and crossed her arms sassily.

“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say, Schroeder. You’re the one who wants to have this conversation in the first place, remember?” Right. Trying to coax it out of her would not work on someone like her. Schroeder nearly forgot that Lucy van Pelt was naturally stubborn in the midst of having hearts for eyes.

He would just have to ask her directly.

“What made you say those things earlier? It… hurt,” he admitted the words quietly, slightly embarrassed by them. You never even had to try. He looked away, unable to hear those terrible words again while staring at his lover’s sweet face. “I understand if you were stressed about the exam but…” But it seemed like you’ve been wanting to say that for a while.

He saw Lucy hunch forward and put her head in her hands. Her voice was muffled as she sighed into her hands. “You’re right, Schroeder. I was jealous. I am jealous.” It confirmed his suspicions, but it still didn’t answer his question.

Schroeder turned to her with a confused face. He shook his head. “But why?”

Lucy raised her arms in exasperation. Now that her hands weren’t covering her face, he was able to see the faint streaks of tears that stained her face. His heart sank. He had made her cry—and for real this time. They weren’t tears of happiness like when he wrote her a song for her birthday, but real, sad tears. His promise to her during Homecoming night all those months ago came crashing into him with strong waves of guilt.

“I won’t ever hurt you like that again. I promise.”

“Oh, Lucy-” He reached out for her, but Lucy avoided his touch. She raised a hand and wiped her damp face harshly, looking like she was angry at herself.

“No, hold on. I’m fine. Honestly, I’m so glad you finally asked. It’s…” She sighed heavily and turned her body to face him. She looked him up and down, a sad smile on her face. “It’s something I’ve been keeping to myself for a while now.” Another suspicion confirmed. Schroeder frowned but didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.

“I’m jealous because you don’t need to worry about getting into college like the rest of us do. You didn’t need to study for the SAT like us. You don’t have to worry about the future like I-” Lucy stopped herself. Her body went limp like a doll’s after leaning back on the bench. Her face relaxed out of that deep frown into nothing. Her eyes glazed over as she stared out into the distance. 

Something about that empty look in her eyes frightened Schroeder. He had never seen Lucy look so devoid of emotion. It was like the fire inside of her was spent and dry, leaving nothing behind but broken bits of charcoal. 

He never wanted to see her like this again.

“You got accepted into your dream school, Schroeder, and it’s also the best performing arts school in the nation—maybe even the best in the whole world. You’re practically set once you graduate. I can already see your name in shining lights. For one night only: Schroeder.” She lifted her arms with flattened palms and glided them through the air, seemingly reading out a make-believe sign. “I guess… I guess I’m jealous of that stability. I don’t have that luxury. What happens if none of the colleges I like don’t accept me? And even if I do get into a college of my choosing, most pre-med students change majors. Some don’t even stay in the medical field in general. Then there’s the MCAT, another big exam that has every potential to ruin me. Then I actually have to survive medical school. It’s just- I’m going against the statistics, Schroeder. There is only one path to get to the end and that path requires precise and undeniable perfection.”

Schroeder frowned and cautiously reached for Lucy’s hand. She doesn’t pull away this time and instead she squeezes his hand tightly. Her lips pressed into a straight line, the first drop of emotion she’s shown during her whole heartfelt confession.

“It’s scary not knowing your own future. That something as flimsy as a test score could mean getting into the best schools or the worst. I was— am —scared and I took it out on you. I’m sorry. I should have never said those things to you.” 

Lucy is still looking into the far distance, but her eyes are here. Her eyelashes are coated in pebbles of water and the edges of her mouth are curved downward, midway into a pout. He takes note of the patch of skin underneath her eyes that were slightly darker than the rest of her face, a detail that he hadn’t noticed before. Lucy was exhausted. College applications had really taken a toll on her.

Schroeder stares at her for a considerable while before nodding and looking away. 

“All of that sounds scary, I agree. You have every right to be worried. But take baby steps, Luce. You need to focus on one inconvenience at a time. Like, when I learn one section of a new piece of music before moving onto the next,” he says softly, gently squeezing her hand in reassurance. He turned to look at her and sadly smiled. “I forgive you and I’m also sorry.” Lucy’s head snaps to him. He sees her plain shock in the corner of his vision and chuckles. 

Lucy’s face bunched up in confusion. “Whaaat?”

“Sorry for never fully realizing how much you were struggling with these feelings without me knowing. I wish we had this conversation sooner so that I could have supported you better. Ease some of your troubles.”

Lucy bursted out laughing. She let go of Schroeder’s hand to clutch her stomach. She wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. She sighed a sound of contentment as she scooted closer to Schroeder. She laid her head on his shoulder.

“You support me more than enough, you blockhead. Just keep doing what you’re doing and I- we’ll both make it to college together without a hitch.”

College together. Schroeder gulped and clenched his girlfriend’s hand tighter. That could be taken in two different ways. 

—

The SAT test scores came in a week later. Schroeder’s score was, thankfully, above average while Lucy’s was… a whopping 1540. Her score was the best SAT score that their small town school had ever produced, second only to Marcie who only scored 20 points more than Lucy. 

Statistics say that her score was in the top 99.98 percentile of all test-takers. And it was higher than what all of her desired colleges required.

Saying that Lucy van Pelt was happy would be an understatement. She was ecstatic. Overjoyed. Euphoric. And it wasn’t just Lucy that shared her joy.

“Ready, Luce?” Schroeder questioned, a grin covering his entire face. Lucy giggled uncontrollably, bouncing in front of the mailbox in excitement. She opened the mail slot, about to drop in numerous envelopes containing her applications, before doubling back with a nervous laugh. 

She was like a little kid on Christmas.

He put his hands on his hips, shaking his head in amusement. “We’re going to be here all day.” She hurriedly handed him her applications, practically shoving the papers into his chest. “What-”

“Oh, I just can’t, Schroeder! I’m too nervous. Can you do it for me?” Schroeder couldn’t help but laugh, nodding.

“Alright. Are you sure you don’t want to do the honors?” Lucy bit her lip with a smile, shaking her head to confirm. She covered her eyes and giggled.

“Nope! You do it!” 

Schroeder shook his head again and laughed. His girlfriend was utterly ridiculous, but it was adorable. He neatly gathered the stack of envelopes in his hand and approached the mailbox slowly. He watched for Lucy’s reaction as he announced slyly, “Are you sureeee?”

Lucy pouted and crossed her arms, eyes still closed. He imagined that she was rolling her eyes underneath those closed lids. “Yes! Now please stop stalling! I think my heart might explode from the anticipation.” 

Without further ado, Schroeder lifted the mail slot and pushed in Lucy’s college applications. It was done. Lucy had officially applied for college. He couldn’t be more proud of her.

One envelope got stuck in between the flap and the metal opening. He opened the slot once again, letting it fall with the rest of the uncollected mail, but not before he caught a glimpse of the recipient address.

NYU Office of Undergraduate Admissions

400 Lafayette Street

New York, NY

The blood rushed out of his head just as the envelope addressed to NYU fell in. No. He’d torn that page out of her journal. He swore that he did. Did she actually remember to include it despite his best efforts to erase it from her memory? Given the other, better options, would she still-

Pros: Schroeder

It’s his fault.

“Sweetie?” Her sweet voice filled the sticky air, “Have you mailed them yet?” 

Schroeder snapped out of it and looked over at Lucy. She was still grinning, eyes shut tightly, as if nothing was wrong. He forced himself to take a deep breath. He shook off the feeling of impending doom and put on a fake smile, not wanting to ruin her good mood. With her test scores, she’ll get accepted into all of the schools of her choosing. She wouldn’t dare choose NYU if she had the whole lot to choose from. Right? He sighed. This wasn’t the end of the world.

“Yup. Just did,” he answered, thankful that his voice didn’t reveal how he truly felt. Lucy opened her eyes with a squeal. Her feet performed happy little stomps before flinging herself onto him, wrapping her arms around Schroeder’s neck. Her eyes shined with renewed vigor that had been lost after initially taking the SAT.

Her sheer happiness made him almost forget what he was anxious about. Almost.

“I’m so excited! I can’t wait to see which schools accept me!” He didn’t respond, but wrapped an arm around her waist. He buried his face into the dip between her neck and shoulder, the point of his nose poking the soft skin, and inhaled the scent of sweet lilies.

He couldn’t wait to see either.

—

“Mm. Lucy… Ah-”  

Schroeder did not recognize the sounds coming out of his mouth as his own voice. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t fight the coaxing of Lucy’s hips.

Lucy van Pelt was on top of him in the back seat of his convertible. The ends of her skirt had rode precariously up her thighs, exposing the bouncy flesh that squeezed out of her white thigh highs. Schroeder grabbed onto them tightly and rubbed deep circles into her exposed inner thigh. Lucy kissed him sweetly as the spot between her legs ground into him ruthlessly.

Pleasure skyrocketed down his spine.

How did they get here? What had he done to receive such heavenly treatment from his gorgeous girlfriend? 

[A FEW MINUTES AGO]

Schroeder put the car in park and turned to Lucy in the passenger seat. She was fidgeting the whole way to the park, and that persisted, toying with the promise ring on her finger. She had called him past midnight, his mind already laced with sleep. She wanted to speak to him. And urgently. He immediately assumed it was about college and sped to her house at lightning speed. 

“What did you want to talk about-” 

Lucy grabbed him by the dog tag around his neck, forcing his upper half across the middle console towards her. She pressed her lips against his feverishly. He melted into her. 

She broke away from him—only briefly—to tell him the good news, pulling out a haphazardly ripped envelope from her back.

“I got accepted into Harvard.”

[PRESENT]

He had missed this—missed kissing her. Missed her in general. Preparing for the SATs had taken away this provocative, flirty side of Lucy. 

Their steamy kiss ended when Lucy pulled away. Schroeder gasped for air as she crawled off his lap. He thought it was over, but that was far from the truth. His heart threatened to break free from his chest when she slowly and carefully bent down, leaning over the tent in his pajama pants. 

The stare that she gave him through hooded eyes made him shiver, excitement brimming in his pants. Lucy’s soft hands landed at his stiff waist, thumbs tucked underneath the waistband. Her lips, still slick with saliva, curled up into a mischievous smile. 

He knew this image of Lucy van Pelt would be forever ingrained into his memory.

“You’ve been such an amazing boyfriend, Sweetie,” she purred. The sickly sweet sound of her voice coerced a low whimper out of his throat. Her fingernails dug into his hip bones. He was like a fly in a flytrap; but instead of his legs stuck in glue, it was his body pinned underneath Lucy’s. The look in her eye made him simultaneously excited and terrified. A second heartbeat pulsed loudly down south. 

“I wouldn’t have been able to get into Harvard without your help, y’know,” she said lowly, dragging her finger in an agonizingly slow manner, creeping closer to the bulge in his pants. He swore he stopped breathing. “Let me show you my deepest thanks.”

—

Schroeder didn’t know what a “promposal” was, but according to all his friends, it was something he needed to do for Lucy. When asking Peppermint Patty if he really had to go all out just to ask her to a dance—one that Lucy was already planning on going to, with or without him, mind you—the girl looked him dead in the eye with a serious expression. 

“You’re basically saying you hate your girlfriend if you don’t, Schroeder. Just do it. And make sure you do it well.”

Well, he definitely didn’t hate her.

Schroeder took Peppermint Patty’s advice seriously. Lucy deserved the very best. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her by making her prom feel anything less than perfect.

The air was thick inside the school’s greenhouse; it didn’t help with his nerves. He sat on a short stool almost impatiently, one leg on the ground shaking anxiously. He impulsively fidgeted with his keyboard, pressing the F sharp key repeatedly. Ding. Ding. Ding. He matched the tap of the key with the fast beating of his heart, attempting to mask the loud banging the fleshy muscle made in his ears.

Why did this promposal feel more like a marriage proposal? Was he just being ridiculous feeling this anxious? Lucy would still go to prom with me even if this tanked. I mean, she wouldn’t say no, right? She’s my girlfriend after all.

No matter the affirmation, his nerves didn’t lessen.

The sound of the door opening followed by a faint, familiar giggle stopped his impulsive tapping. He stood from his seat. Lucy’s here.

“Oh, Schroeder?” She called out his name in a sing-song voice. Through the plastic tarp, he saw her blurry silhouette get closer. “Charlie Brown told me to come find you here.”

He mentally thanked his friend for sending Lucy here quickly. If he had to endure this anticipation any longer, he might have passed out. He cleared his throat. “In here.”

Lucy’s head snapped to where he stood behind the plastic curtain. She approached him and pushed the tarp flap to the side. She stuck her head past the slits and grinned, teeth and all, upon seeing him. 

“Well, hello there, mister,” she greeted goofily. Schroeder smiled crookedly.

“Hiya,” he responded nervously while offering her his hand. She giggled as she happily took it, her whole body sliding through to his side of the greenhouse. As soon as she passed through, she gasped, covering her mouth. 

With the school gardener’s permission, he turned the back section of the greenhouse into a landscape of lilies. He pre-ordered every color and variation of the lily flower that the local florist could get their hands on. He spent the early morning—prior to picking up Lucy—arranging them perfectly. The side of his tent was heavy with the smell of sweet lilies and now that Lucy was here, the scent was even stronger. It cost a pretty penny, but just from her reaction, it had been worth it.

He pulled her gently, urging her deeper into the tent. “Come, I didn’t just get you flowers.” Lucy blinked up at him in shock, mouth agape, but nonetheless walked with him down the decorated aisle of flowers. She curiously glanced down either side of the aisle at the flowers surrounding her feet. Just further down is his old keyboard—also another item he secretly brought to school with them—in the center of a circle of flowers. 

Schroeder had created a makeshift stage suitable for fairies. It fit the vibe just right too; he wanted this mini performance to be magical.

Next to his own stool was one meant for her. He patted the top of it and gestured for her to sit down.

She giddily obliged, smoothing her dress down behind her. She smiled widely at him as he also sat down. Her excitement was palpable. “What will you play for me today? Perhaps a classic Beethoven? Ooo, what about the one you wrote for my birthday?” 

Schroeder chuckled as he played a random string of chords, prepping himself. “Well, I could play that one. Or, I could play you a new song I wrote.” 

Lucy squealed and clapped her hands like a seal. “The new one! The new one!” Schroeder laughed at her unrestrained enthusiasm and nodded. 

“Alright, alright. But I need you to do something to make this song complete.” Lucy sat up, full attention on him. Her brows furrowed in determination.

“Yes, anything. What should I do?” He smiled and pointed to her mouth.

“When I get to a certain point in the song, I’ll point to you. And when I do, I need you to hum this tune.” Schroeder hummed a soft melody in the rough key he had in mind when composing. Lucy repeated it, her voice sounding much better than his own example. 

“Like that?” She asked innocently, her eyes wide like a doe’s. He nodded and grinned. 

“Perfect. Now, just let me know when you’re ready and I’ll start.” She nods, giving him a thumbs up.

Schroeder rolled back his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. His fingers hover over the keyboard. 1 and a 2 and a- With a light huff, he began playing.

This piece was fun to compose, hence why it didn’t take him long to create. It was a playful melody. It was a song you might hear in afternoon tea. It was the laughter of children in a schoolyard. It’s the buzzing of bumblebees and the humming of a hummingbird in a lush garden. The notes skipped along the pages in his mind like pebbles across a lake’s surface. 

The sun beamed through the clear, glass roof, casting its warm rays on both of them. He reached the section requiring Lucy’s assistance and pointed at her. Her mouth opened as she straightened her back. Her soft singing voice filled the air, adding on to the melodic fun. 

His vision of a lively piece had come to life, complete with Lucy’s singing. Who would have known that his second ever composition would be a duet. 

Schroeder smiled and glanced over at Lucy, hands still dancing across the keyboard. Lucy’s eyes were closed as she hummed, a faint smile playing on her lips. Her body swayed back and forth to the sound of the music, seemingly moved by it. The light shining down on her head made her black hair look like a deep, caramel brown. The light brightened her face, her long lashes casting a tiny shadow underneath her eyes. 

Lucy van Pelt was an angel in the flesh. She was beautiful. Ethereal.

Schroeder didn’t think he had ever been this happy. He was playing a song he composed for a beautiful girl in a room full of flowers as she sang for him.

Something in that moment clicked in him with roaring clarity. 

Schroeder loved Lucy van Pelt, and not in the manner that he inherently always did. In the beginning, it was like a tree taking root; his love for her was already there, but it was a blossom, new and unfamiliar. Homecoming. The Halloween party. Thanksgiving. He only realized the existence of that love during his piano recital, urging him to finally acknowledge his feelings for her. 

As their relationship progressed, that tree grew and the roots in his heart grew deeper into its crevices, slowly creeping without his knowing. Christmas. New Year’s Eve. Their birthdays. The trip into the city. 

This moment in the greenhouse had provided the last bit of sunlight that those roots needed to finish growing. Their tendrils wrapped around his heart and squeezed. 

It hasn’t even been a year since the van Pelt’s had moved back into town, but Lucy had already changed his life irrevocably. There was no way to remove her roots from his life. Like a rose, her roots had thorns, sinking and latching onto his heart.

He loved her, truly and deeply. 

Lucy stopped singing as Schroeder finished the song, the intermingling final note of his keyboard and her voice still ringing in the space around them. Her eyes fluttered open, looking at him. She tilted her head in amusement, a corner of her mouth quirking upward. She laughed softly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Schroeder blinked at her blankly, mouth still agape with realization. Three words tumble past his lips before he can stop them. 

“I love you.”

Lucy stared at him wordlessly, shocked. Her eyes rapidly opened and closed, blinking, as if she couldn’t believe what he had just said. “What?”

His eyes widened as realization dawned on him as well. What the hell did I just say? This was supposed to be a promposal, not a confession of love. 

His face turned red as a tomato. Averting his gaze, he hid his face in his hands, groaning in humiliation. This was not how he imagined confessing to Lucy. She giggled, further pushing him down into the pits of embarrassment. She got off her stool and stood in front of him. Schroeder still refused to look at her.

“I’m a mess,” he mumbled into his hands. Maybe he wasn’t getting used to this flirting business. God, save him. He was hopeless.

“Mhm,” Lucy hummed lightly, the sound both agreeing and teasing. Her pointer finger found the underside of his chin and pushed it up slowly, forcing him to look at her. His face flushed a deeper shade of red at the sight of her. Lucy gazed down on him with a soft adoration. She smiled a smile that made his breathing stop.

“Did you mean it?” You mean, did I mean it when I said I love you? Yes. Yes, I did.  

“Yes,” Schroeder admitted breathlessly, unable to lie to her even if it meant saving him from his own embarrassment. “I meant it.” 

Lucy let go of his chin and it dips down slightly from the lack of support. She bent down and leaned in, her hands pressing down on Schroeder’s thighs. He gulped as her face neared impossibly close to his, the tips of their noses a centimeter from touching. Like a hungry cat and a helpless mouse, she had a knack for pinning him down in situations like these.

She leaned forward some more, drifting to whisper into his ear, “I want to hear you say it again,” she purred. Schroeder shivered uncontrollably as her breath tickled the shell of his ear. He sighed her name. 

“Lucy…” She was going to be the death of him.

She moved away from his ear and stared at him with a pout. “Please?”  

Her tone was teasing, but the look in her eyes was begging. Something that looked like hope shimmered within her warm eyes. Schroeder smiled, smitten. How could he say no to that? 

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. He slowly pulled away, deeply inhaling the dizzying smell of lilies. “I love you, Lucy. I really do.”

A grin broke out on her face. She leaned back in, moving to sit sideways in his lap without breaking the kiss. He held her to him, wrapping a possessive arm around her waist and his other to the back of her neck. He bathed in the glory of the radiating heat of the sun and her body. 

This was supposed to be a promposal, but it turned out to be much better than that. He’d have to remind himself to ask about going to prom with him later. Right now, he wanted to enjoy this perfect moment.

Between fervent kisses, Lucy responded, “I love you too.”

—

Lucy’s bed was a soft cloud of pillows and plushies. They were buried beneath them, cuddling. They laid on their sides facing each other, breathing in the other’s air. It was stuffy, but they didn’t want to leave this warm paradise. 

Schroeder would have to soon though; both of their curfews were nearing.

“I love you,” he whispered, playing with the ends of Lucy’s hair. She giggled quietly and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

“I love you too, Sweetie.” He sighed happily while burying his face into her neck. Her loose pajama shirt did nothing to stop him. He inhaled loudly and deeply, not at all bothered to hide what he was doing. She smelled divine. It was addicting.

She pushed his head away with a laugh. He fought against her hand and nuzzled his face back into her skin. She used both hands to push him away this time. “That tickles, Schroeder!” 

Schroeder rolled his eyes playfully but stopped. He went back to his spot with a small pout. “I thought you said you loved me.” 

Lucy groaned with a roll of her eyes, the corner of her mouth tilted slightly upwards. “I do love you, you blockhead. I’ve been telling you that since we were like 8.” Oh how the times have changed. That small smile turned into a frown. “And if you keep saying ‘I love you’ all the time, you’ll eventually get bored of it.”

He grinned and shook his head furiously. “No I won’t. And besides, I’m just making up all the I love you’s I’ve missed. Which I’m still behind, so I love you, Luce.” Schroeder sealed it off by peppering her face with kisses. She laughed and wriggled profusely, causing her tower of pillows to cascade down onto the floor, exposing them. 

Once they were both exhausted from play fighting, Schroeder laid on his back, slightly out of breath from all the kisses. Lucy sighed, content, and snuggled into his side. She placed a singular kiss to his cheek before laying her head onto his chest.

“I love you, Schroeder.” 

Schroeder wrapped an arm around her, savoring these final moments before Linus eventually shooed him away for the night. “I love you more.”

—

Schroeder eyed himself in the mirror. Tonight was prom but it felt like he was getting ready to meet the president. He turned to his friend with a look of nervousness. “How do I look, Charlie Brown?” 

His friend, who was fiddling with his collar, glanced up. He eyed Schroeder up and down, looking impressed. 

“Not bad, man. You tidy up well.” Charlie slugged him in the arm, smirking. “I remember when all you would wear were khakis and a sweater. Like a real square.” Schroeder flushed and pushed his friend away, embarrassed. He retired his old wardrobe months ago. Charlie chuckled and shook his head. He presumed Schroeder’s spot in front of the mirror to fix his tie. He stared at Schroeder’s reflection in the background. He switched out a joking expression for a contemplative one. “Not anymore though. You’ve really changed, Schroeder.”

Besides the slight upgrade of his closet and being in his first relationship, he didn’t feel as if much had changed. Schroeder laughed, shoving his fingers into his dress pants, the thumbs sticking out. “What do you mean? No I haven’t.” Charlie Brown rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Yes, you have,” he retorted with a dry chuckle. Before Schroeder could respond, he added, “If you hadn’t changed, I might have had to beg you to come to prom tonight. No? It was always just you and your piano. And if I somehow did manage to get you out of your house, your mind was always somewhere else.”

Was that how his best friend felt? That he didn’t care for anything aside from his piano? If so, he felt terrible. Schroeder frowned. “Hey-”

His friend raised his hands up in defense. “Look, I’m not here to poke at you. I just-” Charlie sighed and turned around to face him, hands on his hips. There was a small smile on his friend’s lips. “I’m glad. Even if it took all of highschool, I’m really glad.” 

Schroeder gave him a sad smile. Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, “I’m sorry for wasting so much time, Charlie Brown.” His friend clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes with the same smile. He slung an arm over his shoulder.

“That just means senior year is just extra special, right?” His heart clenched. He’d miss Charlie Brown up in the Big Apple. No more baseball on the weekends. No more late night talks at the park just to vent. His best friend would be on the other side of the country pursuing his own dream. Schroeder grinned and nodded, not wanting to say anything just in case his voice cracked. Charlie Brown nodded back, unwrapping himself from Schroeder and patting his back. “Let’s go pick up our girls. Yeah?”

They bid farewell to Schroeder’s parents who, teary-eyed, took pictures of the two lifelong friends before sending them off. They rode Schroeder’s convertible, roof down, to Heather’s house first.

Charlie Brown had gathered up the courage to ask Heather to be his date amidst the chaos of the kite-flying contest. He supposed that him being partners with Frieda wasn’t too bad if it meant Charlie Brown could spend some time with that red-haired girl of his dreams.

Before Schroeder could even put the car in park, the car still rolling forward, his friend hopped out of the vehicle without bothering to use the door. Charlie Brown shot him a wink, tugging at his coat to straighten it. “Wish me luck.” 

Schroeder gave him a thumbs up as his friend jogged up to Heather’s front door. He tried not to be nosy, giving Charlie Brown enough privacy in order to not wreck his courage. He turned on the radio and pretended to look elsewhere as he heard the tell-tale sign of the front door opening.

“You again. So you’re the boy that my Heather said would be taking her to prom. You have guts coming back here after the last time.” Oh boy. Schroeder recalled the black eye Heather’s dad gave Charlie Brown. He gulped anxiously and he wasn’t even the one talking to him. 

Come on, Charlie Brown. Say something.

He heard his friend chuckle, albeit a little nervously. “Good evening, sir. I apologize for my behavior the last time— sincerely. I do hope though that you’ll allow me the honor of taking your daughter to prom tonight.” Schroeder held his breath as his car radio filled the silence between the two at the door. Thankfully, Heather’s voice interrupted the radio frequency.

“Oh, leave him be, Daddy! Charlie Brown is sweet to me.” 

“But Heather darling-” The girl huffed. Schroeder snuck a curious glance to find Heather, dress and all, clinging onto Charlie Brown’s arm. His friend looked like he might faint.

“I’m going with Charlie Brown, Daddy. It’s either I go with him or I go to my senior prom with no date. Do you hate him so much that you’d put me through that?” She eyed her dad with a dangerously innocent look, her eyes wide and pink lips pouting. Wow. Schroeder realized that as sweet and kind as Heather was, she fully used that sweetness to her advantage when it came to her overprotective father. Smart girl. Her dad’s shoulders fell with a sigh, defeated, before giving Charlie Brown a death stare.

“Her curfew is at 10-”

Heather gasped, interrupting, “It’s prom, dad, not homecoming. Can my curfew be midnight? Just for tonight, pretty please?” Another heavy sigh.

“Fine. Curfew is 12 o’clock. On the dot, young man. And no funny business.”

Schroeder audibly sighed, shoulders sagging in relief. Oh thank Jesus. He was starting to think that his friend might show up to prom with another black eye and dateless.

Charlie Brown grinned, obviously giddy. “Yes, sir, thank you! Midnight and no later.” 

Heather gave her dad a peck on the cheek and his grumpiness seemed to dissipate. Charlie Brown walked back to the car with his acquired date and a smile as wide as the sky. “After you.” She giggled as his friend opened the door to the back seat before crawling in after her. She offered Schroeder a polite hello and thank you. 

The passenger seat now sat empty as Schroeder pulled away from Heather’s house, awaiting his own date. From the rear view window, he watched as Charlie Brown slipped a corsage onto Heather’s wrist. Red roses and evergreens. She slipped a matching boutonnière into his friend’s front chest pocket. His friend turned as red as his date’s hair and the flowers on her wrist. An awkward smile sat on his face lopsidedly. Schroeder grinned and looked away, granting him some privacy. 

The van Pelt house was lit from head to toe, seemingly expecting Schroeder’s arrival for one of its residents. Parking in the driveway, he grew nervous. He took his time getting out of the car. Charlie Brown seemed to notice and slammed a hand on his tense shoulder, causing Schroeder to jump unexpectedly. 

“What are you waiting for, man? Don’t keep Lucy van Pelt waiting unless you want to start the night with her being crabby.” Right. He didn’t want that at all.

He sighed and finally got out of his car. Fixing his suit and brushing the hair out of his eyes, he slowly approached the front door. He coughed, mentally preparing himself, and brought his fist up to the door to knock. The door swings open before he can even bring himself to. Linus stood at the doorway looking irritated.

“Took you long enough, Beethoven. Sis has been waiting for you and I’m the one suffering because of it.” Schroeder gleaned at the watch on his wrist; he was actually 5 minutes early. He glanced back up at Lucy’s brother and gave him an apologetic look.

“Sorry. I-” He stops talking when Linus is pushed out of the way and Lucy pokes her head from the doorway. He watches as a grin grows on her face in slow motion. 

“Sweetie! You’re here!” 

“Hi,” Schroeder greets quietly, awkwardly waving at her. She comes fully out of the doorway and it’s like a vacuum has sucked all of the air out of his lungs. 

Lucy was absolutely stunning tonight, more radiant than the stars that twinkled above.

Her dark hair was styled in its usual curly waves, flowing down her back. The only difference was that it was somehow shinier, sleeker, like his black piano after being freshly polished. Each wave was defined, not a hair out of place. She wore the same pearl necklace from her birthday, now ordained with a matching set of drop earrings.

A satin gown draped tightly over her chest and waist—sectioned off with a ribbon—before flaring down past her hips. The color of silver shimmered whimsically under the moonlight that it almost looked like a pale blue. With the dress being held up only by thin straps, the expanse of her arms were left exposed, the skin only being covered from the elbows down by white, delicate gloves. 

It was the perfect mix of classy and modern, and Schroeder didn’t think anyone else in their class could pull something off as magnificent as Lucy van Pelt. She was a precious diamond. A vision to behold.

“Uhhh,” he drones on, unable to find the right words, “You’re…” He was absolutely dumbfounded. Dazed. Awestruck. All of the synonyms in the thesaurus for the word amazed. 

Lucy frowned and glanced down at her dress, smoothing down her front. “Oh. Do I look funny? My dad did say that my dress-” 

“No!” Schroeder quickly interrupted her, grabbing her gloved hands. Lucy flinches from the intensity of his voice. He reels himself back, awkwardly coughing into the crook of his elbow. “Sorry. No. I mean- You look-” He slapped his forehead. Pull yourself together, Schroeder. This was his girlfriend and he was acting like they were going on their first date. And he was well aware of how long gone they were from first dates. 

Lucy giggled and shyly hid behind a wave of hair. 

“Go on~” She said slyly, a happy smile playing on her flushed face. Leaning in, Schroeder had a perfect view of the valley down her chest. Whaaa… His mind exploded while steam practically barreled out of his ears like an overheated cartoon character. His face burned crimson. The first thing he does when he finally snaps back into reality is hurriedly look away.

He coughed again, trying to mask the obvious lust in his eyes.

“Beautiful. You look beautiful tonight. You are beautiful, Lucy.” Despite his initial reaction, Schroeder doesn’t stutter when complimenting her. Lucy blushed and flashed him a small smile.

Twirling in place, her gown puffs out like a cupcake. She thanks him with a flirty wink, looking him up and down in appreciation. “Thank you, Sweetie. You look pretty dashing yourself.” 

Nodding, frantically trying to maintain the small ounce of composure he had left, he pulled out her corsage from his jacket pocket. Lucy revealed his own boutonnière from behind her, still smiling. They had planned their matching corsage and boutonnière right after his promposal and decided to go for a small arrangement of blue and purple flowers—their favorite colors, of course. 

“May I?” He asked, extending his open palm towards her. Lucy gently placed her hand in his and Schroeder slipped on the corsage with shaky hands. Her small wrist drowned in the bouquet. He was next. She approached him slowly before fastening the pin of the boutonnière on his lapel. He, too, noticed the slight shake of her fingers while trying to locate the back of the pin hook. 

Once secure, Lucy stepped back with a content sigh, satisfied with her work. “There,” she said softly, her voice like a tickle of a feather. The hands that were just at work pressed against his chest lightly, resting there. She looked up at Schroeder through her lashes. “It looks good on you.”

Schroeder gave her a lopsided grin before grabbing one of her hands. He brought it to his lips, placing a light kiss to the top of her knuckles. The satin material of her gloves is smooth against his lips. She blushed. 

“Shall we?” He offered up his arm to her and she latched onto it like a magnet. They’re about to leave for the car, but Linus reappears from the doorway.

“Hold on, you two. Mom wants to take pictures.” Linus eyed Lucy on his arm and smirks, amused. Schroeder flushed and looked away. Linus waves for Charlie Brown and Heather still in the driveway. “Charlie Brown! You and your date come in too!”

And so, the two couples entered the van Pelt residence. Lucy’s mom is ready with her camera, her dad beside his wife with his arms crossed. He stared at Schroeder—Lucy still perched on his arm, mind you—with a look that made him shiver. Oh. Was I in… danger? Then, the man smiled at him and relief immediately flooded his body. He thought that he’d have his own “Charlie Brown versus Heather’s dad” moment for a second there. 

Heather in front of Charlie Brown and Lucy in front of Schroeder, the four of them took pictures in front of the fireplace. Schroeder awkwardly stood pin-straight, hands stiffly at his sides like a royal guard standing post. He did not want to have his hands all over Lucy’s body with her whole family watching.

That didn’t last long though. Lucy peered over her shoulder, an adorable pout on her face. “Why are you so far away from me? I’m not gonna bite unless you want me to.” Schroeder’s horror was just everyone else’s amusement. Charlie Brown stifled a laugh while Heather fought back a smile. Linus chuckled from his position on the couch, hearing his sister but his eyes fixed on the T.V. 

His already burning face deepened in color. “Lucy!” He whisper-screamed, scolding his girlfriend. He was utterly mortified. Lucy shrugged nonchalantly before grabbing his leaden arms, placing his open palms at the dip of her waist. She stepped backwards so that her backside pressed against his front, her butt right on his- Sweet Jesus.

“There. Much better,” Lucy huffed, satisfied, and turned back to her mother’s awaiting camera. Schroeder gulped and forced himself to smile. The camera flashes several more times before the group is allowed to leave.

“Go easy on poor Schroeder, Lucy,” Charlie Brown mused as they jumped into the still-running car, “We might be seniors, but this is his first time having a date for a school dance. Or for anything really.” He’s incredibly inexperienced, is what his friend clearly meant to say. Lucy chuckled at his friend’s comment and Schroeder’s red face. She quickly pecked his cheek as a small apology.

“I know,” she hummed happily as Schroeder peeled out of the van Pelt’s driveway. She cautiously placed her hand on Schroeder’s midthigh and patted it. He looked over at his girlfriend in the passenger seat and she smiled, the corner of eyes narrowed. “That’s one of the reasons why it’s so fun to date him.” I like him inexperienced. 

His best friend and the love of his life were bonding by teasing him. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Schroeder mumbled a curse under his breath and focused on the road instead of the embarrassment flowing through him. Let’s just focus on making it to the dance.

Schroeder pulled into the school parking lot and parked the car next to Peppermint Patty’s muddy, green jeep. As he helped Lucy out of the car, he took note of the number of cars here. As prom was a seniors-only event, there were less than a third of the usual amount of cars on a normal school day. Other than that, it seemed like mostly everyone was already here. 

“Ooo,” Lucy giggled excitedly. She eagerly tugged at Schroeder’s arm. “I’m so excited! Let’s go inside!” He chuckled and let her drag him away. He waved at Charlie Brown and Heather, telling them that he’d see them inside.

Several months ago, they had entered this same gym for homecoming— separately. Him and Lucy were practically strangers. Strangers with an even stranger history. A lot of things could change in 10 years. In a few months, actually . Maybe Charlie Brown was right, perhaps Schroeder had changed. 

Now, they came in together, her hand on his arm. If someone were to tell him months ago that Lucy van Pelt would be attending prom with him not only as his date, but as his girlfriend, he would have laughed at the delusion. Lucy? With him? He didn’t stand a chance. He felt like a princess, because sometimes dreams do come true.

A photographer was stationed just behind the gymnasium’s double doors. They beckoned for the couple to come over. Schroeder was over the whole picture-taking thing, still feeling the embarrassment he endured at Lucy’s house, but his girlfriend was more than happy to take more. 

Schroeder stepped onto the backdrop after Lucy. They posed similarly as they did back at her house, his hands finding her hips but more relaxed this time. The flash of the industrial camera temporarily blinds him. It was worse than having stage lights beaming down on him. Schroeder winced, ready to be done with it. But before he could escape the flashing lights, the photographer asked for a new pose. Still blinking away the harsh glare in his eyes, Lucy striked a new pose for the camera. She turned to Schroeder and kissed him on the cheek. His face turned red for the millionth time that night right as the photographer snapped their photo.

Lucy giggled mischievously as she finally dragged a dazed Schroeder away from the photo booth, a fat kiss in red lipstick at the center of his cheek. He knew it was there when Lucy tried to sneakily reapply her lipstick after sending him to get them refreshments. He chuckled to himself but didn’t even try to remove the kissy mark. Schroeder didn’t mind it. Matter of fact, he bore her lipstick stain like a trophy.

Schroeder approached the table that carried snacks and drinks. Shermy and Pigpen waved at him with a small smirk, snickering as they walked away. He rolled his eyes. Those troublemakers were either laughing because of one, there was lipstick on his face, or two, they spiked the punch— again. 

It was probably the latter. Or even more probable, both. Oh well.

Schroeder grabbed two plastic cups and filled them both halfway with punch. From the corner of his eye, he saw Frieda slowly come into vision. He ignored her, continuing to fill his cups painfully slowly with an insufficiently shallow ladle. Frieda stood next to him, pretending to fill her own cup with juice, but Schroeder noticed that her cup was still relatively full. Good grief.

“Hello, Schroeder. Did you come here with anyone ton-” Frieda’s mouth slammed shut when her eyes landed on his stained cheek. She flushed and looked away. She abruptly dropped the ladle back into the punch, the red liquid sloshing past the bowl’s sides. “Nevermind. Have a good night.” She excused herself and scurried away. 

A few seconds after the redhead ran, two gloved arms snaked around his waist. Schroeder smirked, not turning around to face the serpent quite yet. 

“Seems like your tactic to keep other girls at bay worked. Good job.” Lucy’s muffled laughter vibrates through and down his back. He turned around, lifting the cups above his head, her arms still around him. She looked up at him with a cheeky grin, her chin pressed against his sternum. 

She hummed, “Hmm? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her exaggerated innocent voice said differently. Schroeder shook his head with a soft chuckle before leaning in close to her lips. Lucy’s breathing hitched, but of course her pride wouldn’t let her pull away. He already knew that part of her all too well.

Schroeder’s gaze flitted from her eyes down to her blood red lips, fresh with reapplied lipstick. His voice a gentle whisper, he said, “But I think you could have marked your territory a little better than my cheek, no?” 

Lucy bit her bottom lip. Her pupils dilated, eyes growing dark. “Oh yeah? Where would you suggest I place my mark then?” Schroeder chuckled darkly, his nose brushing against the tip of hers. He tilted his head, eyes drifting close.

“Right. Here.” He greeted her lips with a tender kiss. Lucy happily reciprocated it, the arms at his waist snaking up around his neck. He gladly took on more of her lipstick. Schroeder did what he could with his occupied hands, the inner parts of his forearms resting against Lucy’s hips. 

A cough interrupted them, forcing them to pull apart. 

Peppermint Patty was wearing a puffy, short-sleeved green dress that was covered completely with shiny sequins. The girl stared at them, appalled, with her hands on her hips.

“Seriously? By the punch?” They both flushed bright red and awkwardly greeted their friend. She rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed but Schroeder saw the smile crawling at the corner of her mouth. She lined up three empty cups and filled them to the brim with punch. Brushing past the intimate scene she had just witnessed, she made small talk, “So, what? Did you two just get here too? I just saw Charlie Brown and that redhead chick walk in a few minutes ago.”

Schroeder nodded, giving Lucy her now lukewarm drink. He took a sip of his own drink and cringed. Definitely spiked. “Yeah,” he responded after coughing out the burn in his throat, “I actually drove them here. Made more sense than driving separately since we all live close by.” Patty chuckled dryly.

“Good. Wouldn’t want to drive a pretty girl like her down to prom in his old piece of junk.” Schroeder laughed, agreeing.

“Yeah. That too.”

She finished getting her drinks. She carefully picked them up, one cup in between the other two. She gestured over in a general direction closer to the dance floor. “Me, Marcie, and Franklin will be over there if you two horndogs want to join anytime soon.” 

Lucy nodded eagerly, answering for him. “Yeah! Sweetie, you should go see your other friends. I’m gonna go find Violet and the other Patty.” Schroeder raised a brow.

“You sure? I can come with you if you want?”

Peppermint Patty groaned and tugged Schroeder along, causing some of his drink to spill on his hand. “Come on, piano man. Your little girlfriend will catch up.” Lucy waved a tiny goodbye to him as he’s stolen away from the drink station. His girlfriend turned 90 degrees and disappeared into the crowd, searching for her friends. Too late to retaliate, Schroeder picked up his feet and followed his friend into the opposite direction.

Marcie and Franklin are dancing together rather goofily to the funk song playing. They’re laughing becomes more audible the closer they get. They stop their shenanigans once Patty waves the filled cups in front of their faces. They take the drinks from her, offering their individual thanks. The two spot Schroeder after taking a sip.

“Hi, Schroeder.”

“Oh hey, bud!” Franklin says with a big smile. He pats his shoulder with a free hand. He looked him up and down, nodding. “Lookin’ dapper! Say, where’s Lucy?” 

Schroeder chuckled. “Thanks, Frankie. You look good too. And Lucy is off with her friends.”

“She’ll be here soon,” Patty added. Franklin nodded in understanding before downing the rest of his drink. He winced, crushing and tossing the empty cup behind his shoulder. He extended his arms and began moving side-to-side. 

“Well then, let’s groove!”

Schroeder danced with his friends, freely and happily. No alcohol needed. When a popular pop song came on, he’d shake his head furiously, fluffing his blonde hair. When a slow song played, he’d pretend to slow dance with Franklin while the two girls giddily danced with each other. They tossed each other’s partners around like spinning tops.

Schroeder never felt more liberated in his life. He was Juilliard bound. He was surrounded by friends that cared for him like they were siblings. He had a beautifully intelligent girlfriend who had her pick of the most elite colleges in America. There was no more stress on his shoulders. Mostly.

Eventually, Charlie Brown and Heather found them and joined in. It was one of the most fun he’s ever had with his friends. He only wished that he had more time to gather even more memories like this with his childhood friends. 

There was a light tap on his shoulder. Schroeder spun around and smiled upon seeing Lucy. 

“Hey, you.”

“Hi,” she responded shyly. He was still smiling when he grabbed her hands. Her eyes widened when he started moving their conjoined arms back and forth.

“Dance with me,” he said simply, like it was a completely normal thing for him to say. Lucy laughed and nodded, joining him and his friends in an upbeat dance. 

Over the pounding music, Lucy questioned him, “Since when did you dance?” Schroeder shrugged, grinning like a fool drunk on serotonin.

“Ever since a pretty girl advised me to ‘feel the beat.’”  

Lucy laughed loudly, throwing her head back. She shook her head in disbelief. “That girl must be a genius.” 

Schroeder pulled her in close by her hips. He leaned in quickly, stealing a kiss. Lucy gasped and covered her mouth, truly shocked at his eccentricness. 

“Schroeder!” Schroeder leaned in for another kiss, smothering Lucy. She laughed against his lips. He pulled away with a smile.

“That girl has her lipstick smeared all over my mouth.” 

—

Prom night carried on, the energy never waning. 

Schroeder was about 4 spiked fruit punches in, and he was certainly feeling the buzz underneath his skin, further electrified by the fun in the air..

Around an hour before midnight, the music stopped and the school principal stepped onto the stage. He tapped the microphone obnoxiously, capturing everyone’s attention. It was time to announce Prom King and Queen. 

Schroeder bent down to Lucy, whispering in her ear, “Who did you vote for?” She side-eyed him, not turning her head. 

“Patty. My Patty. I was stuck between her or Violet so I flipped a coin. Please don’t tell them.” He nodded. It would make sense to vote for one of her friends. He would have done the same if it wasn’t for the girl he came with.

“And what about King?” He took a sip from his cup, waiting for her answer.

“Charlie Brown.”

Schroeder sputtered out his drink. “What?” He wiped his mouth, staring down at her in bewilderment. “I love the guy, but why on Earth would you vote for Charlie Brown?” He supposed that he also voted for Charlie. But, naturally, that was his duty as best friend. Lucy did not carry that same duty.

Lucy shrugged, not at all looking offended. “Figured my vote would cancel out all the times I pulled the football out from underneath him as a kid. Why do you ask? Did you want me to vote for you?” 

That wasn’t what he was implying, but he entertained the idea. He tried to imagine that plastic crown on his head and a sash across his chest. Schroeder grimaced and shook his head furiously. Him? Prom King? Yeah, no. He’d rather not have all that attention. “No thank you. I preferred that you hadn’t.” 

Lucy nodded and stared at the stage intently. Schroeder glanced down and noticed her foot tapping impatiently. Did… did she want to be Prom Queen?

He grasped her hand cautiously and her foot stopped tapping subsequently. Her eyes were still glued to the stage. 

“I…,” he started out carefully, “I voted for you. For Prom Queen. If you were curious.” Lucy huffed and tore her eyes away from the stage. The principal accepted a sealed letter from one of the teachers. Lucy stared at him with a sad smile.

“I know you would, Sweetie. And I know what you’re thinking, I know I’m not winning.” She turned away again, but this time she stared down at her feet. The principal undid the seal, smoothing out the folded paper. She mumbled grimly, “I just got back. I’m not stupid.”

It’s announced that Charlie Brown is Prom King. The boy seems to be the only one that looks shocked. I guess everyone voted for the underdog. He was glad that his best friend won; God knows how much he deserved it with everything he’s been through all these years. 

Schroeder, without detaching himself too much from his girlfriend, slapped his best friend on the back. Charlie Brown reluctantly leaves his date after Heather eagerly pushed him away to claim his throne. He climbs the stairs leading up to the stage, albeit a little awkwardly, and the principal places a gold crown on his head. The plastic diadem falls slanted in a classic Charlie Brown fashion.

His friend approaches the microphone. When he grasps it, the room fills with an ear-deafening ring. The clapping stops as everyone covers their ears. Charlie Brown chuckles nervously, pulling on his collar.

“Sorry. Thank you, everyone for um- voting for me to be your uh- Prom King, I guess. That’s totally rad.” Schroeder and Lucy simultaneously slap their forehead at Charlie Brown’s horrendous acceptance speech. He really did not expect himself to win since he obviously had no speech prepared. 

Peppermint Patty must have shared the same sentiments. “Oh, good grief,” the girl muttered underneath her breath.

Heather seemed to be the only person not mortified by the sad excuse of a speech, uncontrollably giggling like Charlie Brown was the cutest thing on planet Earth.

“So, uh- yeah. Thanks again. Cool.” Charlie Brown—thankfully—stepped away from the mic, shooting the flabbergasted crowd a thumbs up. He adjusted his lopsided crown only for it to immediately fall back into its crooked place. 

Franklin chuckled, elbowing Schroeder. “Glad that’s over. I nearly died from the secondhand embarrassment,” Yeah, he nearly thought so too.

Now it was time to anoint the Prom Queen.

Lucy held her breath as the principal opened up a new sealed envelope. Schroeder’s heart sank. By the way the principal first opened his mouth, he knew that he wasn’t pronouncing Lucy’s name.

“Oh my god,” Peppermint Patty screeched, jumping up and down, “I won! I actually won!” His group of friends huddled together as they celebrated another one from their group winning the other half of the most esteemed titles of the night. Schroeder tried to be happy for his longtime friend. He gave her the most genuine smile he could offer considering how hard Lucy gripped his hand. Peppermint Patty rushed onto the stage and gave a much better speech than her king counterpart. 

Although he hoped that his girlfriend would have won, it was more than understandable that Peppermint Patty had been crowned instead. She was the star of not just the baseball team, but also for their school’s soccer, tennis, and football teams. She threw the biggest, wildest, and the best parties that a teenager could ever dream of. She was not only extroverted, but funny and extremely easy to get along with. She was friends with everybody, not just seniors but also with her underclassmen. 

It really was no surprise that she won. Peppermint Patty deserved to be Prom Queen.

But as Lucy moped beside him, he couldn’t help but be convinced otherwise. He tugged her away from the crowd while everyone else was busy congratulating the newly-crowned royals. 

Lucy stammered as Schroeder ushered her out of the gymnasium. “What the- Where are you-”

“Somewhere private,” Schroeder replied simply before she could even finish asking. Lucy shut her mouth and let him whisk her away to the depths of the school. 

They dashed past the cafeteria and past their homeroom. He pulled her into a room he always knew was unlocked because he had broken the lock on accident years ago. 

The room was dark and turned even darker once he shut the door behind them. He flipped on the switch that he knew was situated on his left and the old storage room lit to life. 

Lucy spun around, taking in the new scenery. “Are we in a… broom closet?” Schroeder chuckled and approached the furniture draped in a white cloth. 

“Kinda? It’s more of a storage room if you ask me.” He hastily flung off the dust-covered fabric with a cough, waving his hand in front of his face. He patted one of the empty chairs that accompanied the old wooden table. Lucy gave him a weird look that said “I’m not sitting on that.”  

He rolled his eyes. “It’s not dirty, I promise. Come, sit.” 

Lucy complied, slightly hesitant from not wanting to stain her silver dress, but sat comfortably once she dusted her seat for good measure.

“So,” she said expectedly, folding her hands in her lap, “Why are we here, Schroeder? How do you even know this place?” He sighed and leaned back in his chair; the old wood creaked beneath his weight.

“Before I started eating my lunch outside, I’d hide in here instead but that’s not important right now. I brought you here because you’re obviously upset that you didn’t win Prom Queen and I’m not about to make you stand and watch as someone else gets crowned.” Even if it was our friend. Lucy scoffed and crossed her arms. Her nose pointed up in an air of superiority.

“And I obviously told you that I knew I wouldn’t win. Still, you can’t blame a girl for being disappointed. I’m not a sore loser or anything. Not at all.” He raised a brow in speculation. He slowly began standing up, not believing her.

“So you’re saying it’s okay if we go back out there-”

“No!” Lucy interrupted, her nonchalant expression melting into one of not. She blushed and faked a cough. She pursed her lips into a straight line. “Fine. You’re right. I don’t want to go out there just yet.”

Schroeder nodded slowly, sitting back down. “Okay.”

“But I don’t want you thinking that I hate Peppermint Patty for winning!” She quickly added, She outstretched her arms, her hands in a defensive position. “Because she’s great! Really great actually. And she’s one of your closest friends. And she’s been really kind and welcoming to me ever since I came back. And-” Lucy groaned loudly, stopping herself. She covered her face and bent forward in a fetal position, laying her head on her legs. It comes out muffled, but Schroeder hears Lucy say, “I’m a horrible person.”

Schroeder laughed. “No you’re not, Luce. It’s okay to feel disappointed. Resentment, even. It’s just human nature.” He leaned forward to look at her better, maneuvering her pointer finger so that he could see her face. One eye eyed him from between her spread fingers before she turned to face the opposite way. Schroeder sighed and propped his head onto a closed fist. “Talk to me?”

Lucy sighed deeply, her back rising and falling dramatically. “Back at my other highschool, the one in the city,” she started quietly, still facing away from him. Schroeder listened intently, not saying anything. “It was theorized that I would be the one to win Prom Queen.” She chuckled dryly. “I may not have been one of the smartest like I am here, but I was definitely the most popular. And I’m not just saying that to stroke my ego.” 

She regained her posture. Lucy cautiously glanced at Schroeder with a wary expression. He nodded for her to continue. She let out another sigh.

“Yeah, so that’s why I’m… upset. That would happen if you get groomed for three years being told you would win something grand and in the end get nothing.” Lucy relaxed, rolling her shoulders back. “I just wish it was me, y’know.” The confession seemed to get the job done, just as Schroeder had intended when he thought to bring her here. 

“Hey.” He reached out to her from across the table, tilting her droopy chin up. Lucy frowned as she stared at him. Schroeder smiled at her encouragingly. “You don’t need a crown to be the best, right? Being royalty is overrated. I mean, Americans did beat the British.”

Lucy bursts out laughing, making Schroeder let go of her chin. She doubles over, clutching her stomach. Her laughs calm into broken chuckles before ending it off with a long sigh. She wiped away the tears in her eyes before they could ruin her makeup. 

She turns to him with a big, toothy grin.

“Yeah, you’re right. Who needs a crown?” Resting her forearm on the table, she leaned in with a smirk. “Queen or not, I’m the best. Right, Sweetie?” She winked.

Schroeder chuckled and shook his head. He copied her, leaning towards her. His lips brushed hers lightly—a test—before she closed the distance between them. Schroeder kissed her gently, softly. His mouth moved carefully on hers as if she was an animal that he did not want to frighten. 

She was right. Lucy van Pelt was the best he ever had.

Chapter Text

“Luce? Are you done yet?”

“Hold on!” Lucy yelled back, her voice fading as she ran back inside, “I’ve nearly got everything!” Schroeder rolled his eyes with a tiny smile. They’d be the last one there at this rate. He put her first luggage into his open, awaiting trunk. 

It was the morning after prom. The sun had just risen, streaks of orange and yellow pierced the grey, waking sky. They had woken up at dawn because they had a long day of driving ahead of them. Their destination was hours away.

Lucy, her dark hair still in hot pink rollers, tumbled out of the front door. One of the curlers dangled loosley at the back of her neck, having been rattled by sleep. Her second luggage—looking extra heavy—dragged behind her like a ball on a chain. She was a beautiful mess. 

Linus, still in his pajamas, appeared behind his older sister. He leaned against the doorframe and watched in amusement as his sister struggled her way down the porch. A true sibling. Schroeder hurriedly met his poor girlfriend halfway, taking the luggage from her flailing arms. 

“Here. I got it.”

She sighed in relief and let him take her bag. It was heavy even for him, so he could imagine how much harder it was for Lucy. He feigned nonchalance, pretending to lift the bag with ease although the motion took most of his strength.

She sheepishly grinned up at him. The angle of the sunrise illuminated her entire face, gifting her with a warm glow. Even with undone hair and no makeup, she was radiating with natural beauty. 

Schroeder blushed and stared down at his feet. He pretended to examine her luggage in order to hide his face. It was suddenly much lighter.

“Thank you, Sweetie,” she thanked breathlessly, panting from the effort. She got on her tippy toes to peck him on the cheek. He blushed even harder and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. She threw a glare over her shoulder, aimed at the brother who still watched them. “Thanks for your help too, Linus,” she called out sarcastically, rolling her eyes in annoyance. 

Lucy grumbled something incoherent under her breath. Her brother waved, looking much more enthusiastic than his sister counterpart. “Anytime, sis!” 

Definitely siblings.

Schroeder chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he placed her final luggage in the trunk. The car’s suspension dropped in protest. What the hell did she pack in these bags? Her whole closet? A bowling ball and the 10 pins? Nevermind, he thought needlessly as he slammed the trunk closed, Not for me to judge what a woman packs for a vacation. No matter how short.

He opened the passenger door for Lucy and she jumped in happily. The sun visor is immediately opened by her, the vanity mirror flinging open. Lucy rummaged through her purse and pulled out a tube of lipstick. She started applying a dark shade of red to her blank lips while Schroeder rounded the car to the driver side.

A whistle made him stop in his tracks. His attention darted over to Linus who gestured for him to come over. His brows furrowed in confusion but Schroeder, nonetheless, jogged over to Lucy’s brother. He stopped about a foot away from the boy. Linus pushed off from the door frame using his shoulder, straightening his posture, and shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Yeah?” Schroeder responded casually. He had gotten more comfortable around Lucy’s brother. The greaser that had once intimidated him was no more. After growing closer with his girlfriend’s family—and specifically Linus—he had realized that this tough guy appearance was just a personality Linus had developed from being in the city. Under the leather jackets and ripped jeans, he was still the same boy who enjoyed poetry and did well in school. Though, frequent trips to detention wasn’t beyond him.

He was overprotective of his sister, though. And that’s usually when that punk personality shined through the best.

Siblings, am I right?

Linus stared at him with a serious expression, his eyes dark. Schroeder gulped nervously, that previous comfort gone. Linus approached him slowly. He spoke lowly, a cold whisper, “You’re going to take care of my sister, right? The beach is farther than the city is.” 

Schroeder nodded frantically, both feeling like he needed to appease his aggressor while being completely truthful. “Of course I will. I’ll protect her with my life, Linus.” 

The boy nodded appreciatively and glanced over to Lucy in the car. He lowered his voice some more, his whisper now even lighter, nearly inaudible. His tone shifted, his intent now not to scare Schroeder but to ensure that his sister couldn’t hear their conversation. “You and Lucy… are you two sharing a room?” Schroeder shrugged, his ignorance genuine. Linus knew they must have shared a hotel room in their city outing; did it suddenly matter if they were sharing one now?

“I don’t know actually. Patts booked everyone’s hotel room, not me.” It was the girl’s idea to go on a weekend spree to the beach. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision made in the parking lot right after prom ended. Let’s go to the beach! Yes, I know it’s like 6 hours away, Marcie. That doesn’t matter. No senior actually goes back to school the Monday after prom! It’s called senior skip day for a reason! 

Another highschool tradition that Schroeder was unfamiliar with until now. Still, he was quite excited for this weekend getaway with his friends and Lucy. No convincing from Charlie Brown needed.

Whatever Linus thought of his answer, he didn’t openly show it on his face. His gaze flitted over to his sister again who was still oblivious as she beautified herself in front of the small car mirror. He remained quiet as he pulled something out of his pocket—something square shaped—and quickly shoved it into Schroeder’s palm. The package felt as though it was vacuum sealed, a faint ring protruding from its tight surface.

Schroeder didn’t immediately realize what he was given. But as he traced the circle outline with a curious finger, he quickly retracted it as if it had electrocuted him. Realization hit him then with a rush of blood to his face. His head snapped down to the thing in his hand, confirming his suspicions. His blue eyes bulged out of their sockets. He sputtered like a fish out of water, as he pushed the thing back into Linus’ hands.

“What the- Linus!” He whisper-shouted, flustered, “Why are you giving me this?! I’m not- I wasn’t planning on-” 

Linus rolled his eyes, the motion frighteningly resembling the girl’s in the car behind him. He pushed the item back in Schroeder’s hand and forced his fingers to close around it. The sharp edges of it scratched his skin like thorns. The thing wasn’t even open but Schroeder felt like even holding the thing was committing a grave sin. 

“That’s what you say now. But trust me, Beethoven, you’re gonna want to be prepared. And I’d rather you not knock up my sister right before graduation.” 

Schroeder cringed. Humiliation flared bright red on his cheeks. It was like having “the talk” with his dad again, except he was having it with his girlfriend’s brother of all people. He wanted to shrivel up and disappear. But he supposed being prepared for that—theoretically—wasn’t a bad idea. Just in case.

“Okay. Alright, Linus. Thanks, I guess,” he mumbled and turned to rush back to the safety of his car, shoving the blasted thing into the depths of his pocket. He wasn’t going to use it. He was sure of it. This was going to be a nice, wholesome vacation with friends, not a honeymoon. Linus stopped him one more time, grabbing his shoulder. He raised a brow.

“You do know how to put it on, right?” He questioned worriedly. He made a downward motion with cupped hands. “All you do is slide-” Schroeder felt as though a blood vessel may pop with how hot his face had become.

“Yes! I know how to use it, Linus!” He shouted not so discreetly, his cheeks burning. Schroeder coughed and lowered his voice back to a harsh whisper. “I’m a virgin, not an idiot.” He felt like an idiot having this conversation. God, this was embarrassing.

Linus grinned, pleased with his response and just the tiniest bit amused. He patted Schroeder roughly on the back before pushing him forward. He tripped over the last steps on the porch but found his balance before he could fall face first onto the pavement.

Schroeder fast-walked to his car, practically running. He slammed the car door behind him and started the car, the engine roaring to life. He peeled out the driveway before the car could even properly warm up. Schroeder risked one last glance at Lucy’s brother. Linus saluted him with a wink before walking back inside, the front door closing behind him. He white-knuckled the steering wheel, his face still flushed from their conversation.

Lucy, done with the mirror, slammed it closed along with the visor and turned on her side, facing him. Her hair was freed from their curled prisons, now cascading in waves past her shoulders and back. In the short amount of time that he was speaking with Linus, she had finished putting on her makeup. It was light, nearly indistinguishable from her bare face. Which was good because today was hot and he’d imagine that Lucy might get crabby if her makeup melted off her face.

“I heard you scream earlier. What were you and my brother talking about?” She asked innocently, putting on a big pair of sunglasses. Schroeder gulped nervously. 

“Guy stuff.”

“Like?”

Schroeder sighed. “Like how I need to protect you or else he’ll clobber me.” Among other things. 

Lucy hummed and sat back in her seat. “Linus is such a dummy. I can handle myself.” Schroeder snorted.

“Like how you handled your luggage?”

Lucy playfully shoved him, but not too harshly to where he’d swerve the car. “Watch it. Or else you won’t get to see all the swimsuits I packed for the beach.” Schroeder shut his mouth. He definitely wanted to see that.

—

Schroeder knew they were nearing their destination when the air started to taste like salt and the birds began to squawk rather than chirp. They drove along the seawall, roof still down. The blazing sun was unforgiving, but the cool breeze brought in from the sea made up for the heat. He could hear the faint shrieks and shrills of beach-goers above the radio. Ironically, the song playing was about surfing and the beach. 

It was like a scene straight out of a movie.

Lucy’s bare arm hung out the side of the convertible. Gone were her comfy bell bottom jeans and flowy top. She traded them in for a matching yellow set of shorts and halter top about an hour ago when the air started to grow too hot for comfort. Schroeder, too, swapped out his thick cotton shirt for a plain white tank and his pants for red swimming trunks. 

She hummed the familiar tune, lightly tapping the beat against the side of the car. Her skin was a soft caramel under the sun, effectively tanned. Having been blown by the wind for 6 hours straight, her once tame curls were out of control now but in the best way possible. It looked as though she had just been to the salon for a blowout. She was so beautiful that it was as if she was on the way to a beach photoshoot. 

She suddenly turned to him and pushed her sunglasses to her head, pushing away the abundance of hair framing her face. The harsh sunlight caused her to squint. She asked him, “You think the others are at the restaurant yet?”

Schroeder glanced at the clock in the car. The gang was supposed to meet up around 12 to 1 in the afternoon and the current time was just shy of the latter. He nodded and focused back on the road. “Should be.”

A red light forces them to a stop. Schroeder sighed, exhausted at the copious amounts of red lights he’s hitting just being on one street. Their last meal was hours ago and he could really use some lunch right about now.

A car pulls up beside them. It, too, was a convertible but the color a deep blue instead of his bright red. There were guys, college boys by the looks of it, in the car next. Judging by their tan skin and shirtless attires—or perhaps the numerous surfboards in the back seat—he assumed they must be from here. Schroeder didn’t notice it at first, but they were making it blatantly obvious that they were staring at Lucy. They obnoxiously snickered to each other, the passengers elbowing each other like kids in a school yard.

Schroeder’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Stay cool.

If Lucy was at all bothered, she didn’t outwardly show it. Her head was leaning against an open palm, elbow resting out of the car. He could not tell where she was staring from behind her dark-tinted glasses.

Her ignorant act, feigned or real, came to an end when the driver of the other car called out to her with a disrespectful whistle. She slowly turned her head to the sound, as if not knowing if that whistle was meant for her, and met the eyes of the driver. The guy winked at her flirtatiously and leaned out of his car where the window would be. 

The traffic light was still red.

“Aren’t you a foxy little thing? Have your driver pull over and tell him I can handle you from here. What do you say?” He winked again, this one somehow more infuriating than the first. The other passengers laughed loudly. Foxy? Handle? What felt like a simmer in his veins turned into a roiling boil. How dare they speak to Lucy— his girlfriend—that way? He’d be damned if he let them say another word to her. His head snapped to the side, unable to ignore them any longer.

“Hey-”

Lucy scoffed loudly, cutting him off. She dramatically flipped her hair and pushed her sunglasses to her head, revealing a pair of scornful eyes. She stared at the boys in the car over with so much disgust, it practically radiated off of her glowing form. Schroeder gulped. 

They made Lucy crabby.

“Do you speak to all the girls you wanna bone with that attitude?” Her tone was sharp, icy; but the look in her eyes was straight malice, one of molten fire. She huffed. She sat back in her seat and placed her shades back on, seemingly unperturbed. She made a final waving gesture to the car next to them, as if to say shoo. “Keep on steppin’, boys. You couldn’t possibly handle this.” 

Schroeder was like a deer in headlights, unsure of what to do. Should he intervene and risk getting his fingers bit off by Lucy? Or should he just stay quiet and look like a chicken to the other guys. 

He ultimately decided that the humiliation of a few strangers would feel like nothing compared to Lucy’s wrath. 

Besides, by the strangers’ hanging jaws, Lucy’s words seemed to do the trick. He guessed that his girlfriend could take care of herself in more ways than one.

Schroeder was in complete awe of her. She was just so… effortlessly cool. He paled in comparison.

The driver of the other vehicle wasn’t too pleased. His tan face turned red from being either embarrassed, angry, or both. Maybe he wasn’t used to rejection.

His gaze drifted from Lucy to Schroeder. If you can’t hit one target, aim for the next. The boy glared over at him and scoffed. He gestured at Schroeder in disbelief. “And he can? Yeah, right.”

He blushed and looked away. How long was this light going to stay red for?

Lucy sighed, annoyed, and turned back to the stranger. Schroeder grabbed her hand, stealing her attention. Her head swung back to him, hair wildly swinging the opposite way. Glowering eyes melted into something softer. Kinder. Schroeder gave her a small, reassuring smile. He shook his head.

“Don’t. I’m fine.”

Lucy returned his smile, although it sat a bit tight on her lips. She mouthed to him a silent, “Okay.”

The dude banged on the side of his car, the loud sound of thundering metal forcing both their attention back to the car in the lane beside them. “Come on, baby! Ditch him and play with us!”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Geez,” Schroeder grumbled in exasperation. “Get a hint already.”

A hint would be given. In less than a second, Lucy fisted his tank, crumpling it in her hand. She leaned in while pulling him forward. Their lips meet harshly, teeth clashing. Schroeder’s eyes widen as Lucy’s lips move against his before eventually closing in resignation. His hands let go of the steering wheel to cup her face. He moans softly and tilts his head to the side, deepening their torrid kiss.

A honk from behind causes them to jump apart. The light had turned green and the blue convertible that was beside them was gone and out of sight. 

“Shit.” Schroeder coughs, flustered, and begins to drive. “That was… unexpected.” In the best way possible. Lucy slumps back into the passenger seat and giggles. She hummed, a tiny smirk on her lips.

“Those types of guys don’t know how to take no for an answer. Met a lot of them in the city. Sometimes, you just gotta fight fire with fire.” 

And firey was Lucy van Pelt. She had been forged by it herself.

They finally pull up to the restaurant that was agreed upon without any more occurrences of red lights or fussy boys in convertibles. The world must have decided that the couple had received enough troubles before lunchtime. Schroeder immediately spots Charlie Brown’s raggedy, brown car; Peppermint Patty’s jeep; and Franklin’s car parked side-by-side in the gravel parking lot. The restaurant itself was a white and salmon pink colored building on stilts with an unhindered view of the beach.

Schroeder helped Lucy out the car, their shoes making a satisfying crunch sound as they touched gravel. They climbed up the external staircase to the main entrance which was just a flimsy screen door. He pushed their way inside and found a decent amount of customers inside. He scans the dining area, but their group of friends are nowhere in sight. 

A waitress eventually approaches them, asking if it would be a table for two.

“Um, no. Actually,” Schroeder stumbled, eyes still scouring the room for their companions. “We’re actually here with a group? They’re about our age,” he gestured a finger between he and Lucy. His girlfriend nodded enthusiastically, hands clasped in front of her. “We all came separately so…” 

A lightbulb visibly went off in the waitress’s head, her face lighting up. She requested them to follow her and they did. She guides them through and out of the main dining room, which was enclosed, to another screen door. That door leads them to an outside balcony area where there’s even more customers than there were inside. There, Schroeder spots the familiar faces of all his friends and more.

Charlie Brown spots them first since he was facing the door. His arm shoots up in a wave, beckoning them over. Schroeder grins and walks over to them. Lucy follows behind him, hand in his. Peppermint Patty, Marcie, and Franklin—who had their back to them—spin around, smiling when they see them. Shermy and Pigpen were beside his best friend and they waved as a greeting. And Heather was surprisingly here too, draped under Charlie Brown’s arm. I wonder how she was able to convince that overprotective dad of hers to let her go on a weekend getaway.

Violet and Patty squealed, running up to go greet her, when they saw Lucy pop out from behind him. It was nice to see that her friends were able to make it. And by Lucy’s brightening face, she was glad too.

Schroeder smiled and let his girlfriend speak to her friends while he went to sit beside his best friend. He swung his legs over the bench-style seating. Charlie Brown grinned. “Schroeder! My man!” He greeted with an outstretched arm. He gave Schroeder a side hug. “Almost thought the two of you wouldn’t show. Patts was just talking about asking to use the restaurant phone to call up your place to see if you ever left this morning.”

Marcie nodded, agreeing. She frowned and said, “We already waited for 30 minutes to see if you’d get here, so we just went ahead and ordered for you and Lucy. Hope you don’t mind.” Schroeder waved the girl off.

“No problem, Marcie. Thanks. We’re both starving so we’ll eat just about anything.” The girl nodded and an easy-going smile returned to her face. He just noticed that she wasn’t wearing her glasses today.

Franklin leaned over the table with folded arms. He raised a brow. “What took you so long anyways? Slept in late? Traffic? A million pit stops?” Schroeder chuckled and shook his head. The same waitress came by with two iced waters and dutifully thanked her. He sipped before answering.

“No. We both woke up on time, but Lucy kept packing more things.” He chuckled as he took another sip. There was a faint taste of lemon in the water. “She packed two bags for an overnight trip.” 

Charlie Brown laughed and elbowed him. Then, he looked down at Heather and her face went flush in response. “Heather is the same as your girl then. When I picked her up from Violet’s house this morning, she had two huge bags!” He outstretched his arms to the side to emphasize. He laughed again. “It looked like she was going to the Bahamas instead of somewhere just a few hours away.”

She lightly shoves him and grumbles. “I need everything in there, I swear.” His best friend nodded and patted her head comfortingly.

“Yes, yes. I know. Whatever keeps you looking beautiful.” His own face turned red, realizing what he just said out loud. He hurriedly looked away with an embarrassed cough. Heather giggles and also looks the opposite way. Schroeder rolled his eyes with a smile. These two were cute together.

Peppermint Patty fake coughs, grabbing his attention. She looked at him and rubbed her bottom lip. Schroeder raised a brow in confusion. He tapped his own lip. She repeated her previous motion.

“You got a lil…”

“What?”

She rolls her eyes with a groan. She pointed at his lip. “Good grief- I was trying to save you the embarrassment, but you’re going to make me say it out loud. You got lipstick on your mouth, Schroeder.” 

What? But when did…

The car-

Schroeder felt his face grow uncomfortably warm as his table of friends laughed and snickered. He furiously rubbed at his mouth until the skin of his lips was tender and sore. Lucy sits down beside him, Violet and Patty finding a spot in front of her. She innocently sipped on her water, gazing up at Schroeder. She quirked a brow and pointed at him. She swallows the water stored in her mouth before asking, “Sweetie, why are your lips so puffy?”

A chorus of laughter broke out again. Schroeder groaned, hiding his red face and lips behind his hands. Lucy giggled, unsure. “What’s so funny?”

Charlie Brown laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. “That’s what we’re supposed to be asking you, Lucy. Why are Schroeder’s lips so… voluptuous?” He wiggled his brows obnoxiously. Pigpen snorted. Water sprayed out of Peppermint Patty’s nose, now choking. Marcie chuckled quietly, patting her friend’s back as she coughed.

She laughed again, the sound confused. “I don’t get it.” Lucy’s friends looked equally as lost as her. They looked at each other and shrugged.

Franklin’s laughter subsided into content sighs. He chuckled a final time. “So that’s why you were nearly an hour late. You were too busy making out with your girlfriend!” Schroeder stayed in the comfort of his hands. How many times would he be utterly embarrassed today alone? I swear I won’t survive another instance.

Heather reached out and gently touched the back of Lucy’s hand that laid on the table. She flashed her an apologetic smile. “They’re bullying Schroeder because your lipstick was smudged on him.” 

Lucy forms an “o” with her mouth. She giggled awkwardly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “There were some jerks that pulled up next to us at a red light.” She straightened, her expression smug. “Gave ‘em a little show so that they’d kiss off.” 

“A show?” Shermy scoffed with a sly grin. “Looks like someone forgot to clean off the stage.” 

Schroeder slumped down lower, his head now on the table. Lucy clicked her tongue and the table hushed around her. She pried his head up. His cheeks were still on fire as she examined him. She lets go of his face to dive into her purse, pulling out a small bottle of liquid and a white handkerchief. She soaked a corner of the clean hanky with the liquid before dabbing his raw lips. It stung a little, but Schroeder didn’t dare move as Lucy worked on him. She was focused, her tongue sticking out slightly in concentration.

She eventually pulled away with a satisfied huff. The once white handkerchief now had a reddish stain in the corner that was damp. “There. All gone.” 

Schroeder nodded sheepishly. “Thank you, Luce.”

The waitress comes back with their food and everyone soon forgets about the lipstick fiasco. Schroeder did too, as he happily dug into his food. After paying, the group stood from the bench. Peppermint Patty stretched and turned to stare at the awaiting beach.

“Let’s go swim!”

They all briefly head back to their cars. The girls change into their swimsuits while the guys hold up towels as makeshift curtains. Heather and the other girls giggle, absolutely delighted with themselves. One by one, their clothes fall to the sand and gravel floor. Charlie Brown is holding up his towel with whitened knuckles, the only thing between him and the naked girl of his dreams. He looks panicked, seemingly fighting himself, as he looks the other way; his face is bright red.

Schroeder nudged Lucy as she transferred her items from her typical purse to a woven, straw tote bag. She looked up at him from between her sunglasses and raised a brow as if to say, What?  

He gestured over to the girls changing in their pen of towels. “Don’t you need to change into your swimsuit too?” Lucy chuckled, looping her beach bag onto her shoulder. 

“I’m already wearing my swimsuit under this so nope,” she answered, popping the “p.” Now that she mentioned it, Schroeder just noticed the faint shape of strings protruding from her tight shirt. She crossed her arms and smirked. “Why, Sweetie? Wanted to get a peak of me in my birthday suit, didya?” 

Schroeder’s eyes widened and he felt his face grow warm again. He raised his hands in defense, shaking them. He stammered, “W-what?! No! Of course not, Luce. I- That’s-”

Lucy giggled before pecking his cheek. She grabbed his hand and patronizingly patted it. “I’m just joking.” She tugged him, ushering them to catch up with their friends on the other side of the parking lot. “Come on, let’s go.”

Schroeder let out a shaky sigh, shaking his head in disbelief as Lucy tugged him along. His girlfriend would be the death of him today, tomorrow, and forever.

“Everyone ready?” Franklin asked when Schroeder and Lucy joined the group. An enthusiastic string of responses ensued. Peppermint Patty clapped her hands before tossing her flip flops in her bag. She grabbed Marcie’s wrist and pulled the unsuspecting girl along, yelping.

“Let’s go!”

Shermy and Pigpen raced to the water, shoving each other on the way causing them to trip and stumble several times. Franklin stole Heather and Schroeder away, swapping the two to congregate with their own genders temporarily. The four remaining girls immediately get along, resuming a chat they had at the restaurant. 

The boys, on the other hand, seemed reluctant to let their respective girl go. The three of them slow down, positioning themselves behind the girls to ensure nothing happened to them that they wouldn’t see otherwise if they were in front of them. Franklin then wedged himself between Schroeder and Charlie Brown, slinging his arms across their shoulders.

“Hey! What gives, man?” Charlie Brown grumbled, waving his arms out at the redhead girl walking in front of him. Heather didn’t seem to notice the yearning happening behind her. She laughed loudly at something Lucy said, his girlfriend now interlocking arms with the ginger as they leaned in to whisper secretively.

Franklin chuckled and shrugged. “Just miss my main crew, I guess,” he mused, letting out a reminiscent sigh. “I feel like I’m being left behind and replaced with girls, y'know? Kudos to you two, but I’m soooo lonely,” he whined dramatically. Franklin dragged his feet, letting himself get heavier. Schroeder shrugged off his friend’s arm with a light chuckle. Charlie Brown laughed.

“Well Mr. Player, who’s fault is that?” Franklin playfully shoved Charlie. 

“I can’t help that I’m so good with the ladies, Charles.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. A pair of women walk by wearing one piece bathing suits and Franklin immediately shoots them a wink, causing them to giggle and shyly walk away. The boy sighs happily. “So many beautiful women in this world… I just can’t possibly choose!”

Schroeder smiled and glanced at Lucy in front of him. Her hair rippled down her back, exposed by the low cut nature of her top. This was the first time he’s seen the back of her thighs, bare and unhindered by jeans or tights. She tanned easily, he realized, her once porcelain skin now golden from being in the sun all day. He had said this many times before, but Lucy van Pelt was effortlessly the most beautiful woman in his eyes. 

Maybe it was the love sick puppy that had possessed him, but if he had to choose one—as Franklin said—he would choose Lucy. Most definitely.

Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Pigpen, and Shermy were already in the water by the time the rest of them found an empty spot in the sand. Schroeder unrolled the two towels he was carrying, one for him and one for Lucy, and spread them across the sand next to each other. Lucy set her tote on them and tossed off her shades. He took a seat next to her stuff and peeled off his tank top, leaving the dog tag gifted by Lucy on.

Before Schroeder can even comprehend what’s happening, Lucy is taking off her shirt. It’s like he was in a movie and the tape was slowed down to 0.5 speed. Her delicate fingertips grip the ends of her shirt and pull. Slowly, the light hits her abdomen and inches upward. Lucy was the performer, her shirt the stage curtain, and Schroeder was the anticipating audience member; it was the longest curtain call of his life. Her tight halter top catches onto the underside of her breasts, making them bounce slightly before she fully sheds her shirt. Her shorts are gone next, revealing her supple thighs.

She’s got on a two piece swimsuit. The bottoms—or lack thereof—are only being held up by string laces. Her bikini top is the same, held up in two places: behind her neck and at the middle of her back. When he takes a second to rinse his mind out of the filthy gutter, he notices the bright and colorful floral pattern of her swimsuit. 

The full sight of her, in nothing but practically her underwear, is enough to make his brain short-circuit. This is what he was missing when Lucy was changing in her room and his eyes were screwed shut. People might claim he’s lying if said out loud, but Schroeder’s never watched an illicit video. Never dared to. The closest he’s ever seen a woman naked was either at the beach—like right now—or a glimpse of someone’s inappropriate magazine. Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t be frozen at the sight of Lucy van Pelt in her bikini.

Schroeder was incredibly ill-equipped.

He’s stunned, unable to pry his lustful eyes off of her glowing body. Jesus- He was no better than the surfers at the red light.

Lucy doesn’t fail to notice his gobsmacked expression. She smirks down at him and puts a hand on her hip, leaning into it. The movement accentuates the sinful dips of her waist. Schroeder recites a mental prayer. For his sanity and for the slipping thread of decency. Lord, please forgive me. Amen.

“Take a picture, Sweetie. It’ll last longer.”

Schroeder gulped, swallowing a mouthful of saliva that had accumulated in his gaping mouth. “I would have if I had brought a camera,” he mumbled incoherently, still in awe. Lucy’s head tilted to the side. The move in itself is innocent, cat-like, but in Schroeder’s current mindset and Lucy’s current attire, anything she did was provocative.

“What did you say, Sweetie?” 

Schroeder shook his head violently, trying to rid it of his dirty thoughts. Was it just the sun, or was his body growing unbearably hot? He awkwardly coughed and averted his gaze like an unworthy follower in the eyes of a goddess. “I said you’re beautiful. I mean- you’re always beautiful. But like- You and… the swimsuit-”

Lucy giggled and got down on her knees in front of him. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips. It’s too brief for Schroeder’s taste, his mouth pathetically chasing her retracting one. She smiled at him, the expression so genuine it made his heart stop. “Thank you.” 

She then yanked him to his feet with a joyful laugh. “Come on! I wanna go swimming!” Schroeder chuckled and let her drag him to the shoreline, falling in line behind her. He tried to keep his eyes pinned on her back rather than her backside. The task grew difficult with the hypnotic sway of her bare hips. Geez, what was wrong with him? A splash of water would do him some good. Surely.

The water was nice and warm, heated by the blazing sun. The waves crashed into his feet, enveloping them before splashing onto his legs. Lucy dragged him deeper and deeper until they were reunited with their friends who had previously run off. Peppermint Patty waved at them.

“You guys wanna chicken fight?” Lucy nodded enthusiastically, paddling closer to them. The water reached his torso, and for Lucy, her neck. He glanced at her worriedly.

“You know how to swim, right?” He did not want to be responsible for her drowning after promising to take care of her. He was just as afraid of what Linus might—would—do to him just as he was afraid of losing Lucy.

Lucy scoffed. If they weren’t in such deep waters, he imagined she would have sassily put her hands on her hips. She rolled her eyes instead. “Of course I can. Now get down so I can get on your shoulders. You’re too tall!”

Schroeder chuckled but followed her command, crouching down. The water touched just below his chin, but as Lucy used his back as a mere stepping stool, half of his face dipped below the surface. He sputtered but held his ground, waiting patiently for Lucy to situate herself atop his shoulders before straightening back up. His mouth tasted of seawater.

Lucy plopped down on his shoulders like it was her throne, scooting in closer until her front side touched the back of his head. He became painfully aware of the thighs that framed either side of his face and what exactly pressed at the back of his neck.

Schroeder stilled, a pillar of stone in the middle of a rocky ocean. Lucy yelped as a particularly strong wave crashed into them. She grasped onto his hair by the roots and her legs tightened around his neck like a vice. He bit back a whimper as her leg muscles clamped down on his jugular.

Was he in heaven or hell being crushed between Lucy’s thighs? His last brain cells held one answer while other parts of him strongly disagreed with them. Meanwhile, Lucy Corner cheered and hollered at the revelation. 

“Schroeder!” Lucy hissed from above him. She leaned down and wrapped her arms around his neck, stabilizing herself. Something soft pressed into the top of his head; he tried not to think about it, or else his head might actually explode. “I’m gonna fall before the game even starts! You gotta hold me!”

Right. Chicken fight. He had forgotten why she was even up there in the first place. 

Hesitantly, Schroeder placed both of his hands on her legs and held them firmly against him as he would backpack straps. Her legs are buttery soft and smooth. 

Peppermint Patty mounts Marcie’s back, practically clambering on top of her, while Pigpen hoists up Shermy. 

Shermy snickers and rubs his hands together. “Me against two girls? This is about to be the easiest game of chicken fight ever.”

Patty scoffs. She wets her short hair and pushes it back, giving herself a slickback. There was a visible fire that lit in her eyes. “An easy fight for you? Or an easy fight for me?”

Schroeder gulped and gripped Lucy’s legs tighter. He should have known an innocent game like chicken fight would turn into a full blown war with his select group of friends. He nervously eyed his passenger above him. 

Lucy didn’t say anything to add fuel to the fire, but the look in her eye was dangerous, more dangerous than the one in Patty’s. She was obviously amused by their bickering, not even considering that Lucy herself might be a threat. Recalling their sledding race a few months ago, Schroeder knew better than to underestimate Lucy just because she was hyper-feminine and tiny. A coy smile curled at the corner of her lips, eyes dark. Peppermint Patty and Shermy tossed playful insults back and forth like dogs barking on either side of a fence whereas she was a cat sharpening her claws.

“Whatever,” Pigpen huffed, “Let’s get on with it already.”

“Yes. Let’s,” Lucy replied in a frighteningly light tone, the complete opposite vibe of what he just witnessed on her face. Schroeder gulped nervously and tightened his grip, bracing for impact.

“On 3. Okay? 1… 2… 3!”

Immediately, it becomes a rumble between Shermy and Peppermint Patty. It’s a storm of flailing arms and there’s an occasional kick of a leg. They don’t even pay attention to the third party, Schroeder and Lucy.

Lucy slowly bent down, cautious, and her mouth hovered next to his ear. She whispered, “Get me close to them, Sweetie. Don’t be too obvious.” Schroeder smirked and gave a tiny nod. He crept to the pair closest to them: the two boys. 

With the waves crashing around them and the two already occupied with another opponent, Shermy and Pigpen didn’t realize what had happened until they were already tumbling into the water. They coughed and sputtered out seawater and glared at her, only their heads bobbing above the surface like buoys. 

“You sly fox.” 

Lucy shrugged, her smile smug. Patty cackled. Her body shook so hard that Marcie struggled to keep them balanced. She pointed down at the fallen team, still laughing.

“Ooo. Van Pelt got you two boys sooo good.” Patty regained her composure and squinted over at Lucy. “I won’t let you get me so easily though.” A challenge.

His girlfriend laughed haughtily and taunted the jock to get closer with a beck of her hand. “Come and get me then.”

Peppermint Patty charged at them—well actually, it was Marcie, but the poor girl was only urged by the one on her shoulders. Marcie shot Schroeder an apologetic look right before the two up top collided. It was like watching a cat and dog fight.

Schroeder smiled awkwardly, face to face with Marcie. “How’s it going down here for you, Marcie?” 

The girl chuckled, the sound being drowned out by the waves and the fight.

“It’s going.”

“Stop fraternizing with the enemy!” With that, Peppermint Patty kicks, the bottom of her foot flattening against one of his pecs. 

He stumbles, taken off guard from the surprise attack, and starts falling into the water. Lucy shrieks as they trip backwards. With quick thinking, the hands on her legs switch to her hips. He quickly lifts her up, high above his head. Water travels up his nose, into his mouth, and in his eyes. Despite being actively waterboarded, he keeps a firm grip on Lucy’s hips, a lifeline of sorts. He somehow successfully kept her out of the water.

Schroeder gasps and coughs as he rises back out of the ocean. He sets Lucy back on his shoulders, still hacking out water he had inadvertently inhaled. There might be water in his lungs, but they were still in this game.

Both Lucy and the girl duo seemed shocked at his game changing save. Their opponents simmer in their stupor longer than Lucy does, giving her enough time to deal the finishing blow. His girlfriend shoves the other girl square in the shoulders and their whole tower comes crashing down, toppling down into the water with a big splash.

“Ack!”

Lucy raises her arms in the air and lets out a victory shout. She throws her head back, laughing. The sound is glorious, but Schroeder isn’t able to listen to it for long before someone pushes him from behind. He and Lucy fall into the water unceremoniously, a loud splash ensuing. Bubbling water replaces laughter.

He blindly swiped at the space around him, his arms not catching onto anything but water. Disturbed sand and silt cloud his vision.

Schroeder gasps for air as soon as oxygen is an option. His hair is in his eyes and he swipes it back. The water is deep where he stood, reaching his collar bones; meaning, it would be over Lucy’s head- 

Lucy. Where’s Lucy?

She said that she could swim, but he really did not want to test that claim.

His panic is short lived as Lucy comes bursting through the water’s surface several feet away from him. She tosses her head back and her hair follows suit, water droplets flinging from the ends of her long hair. Eyes shut, she inhaled deeply from her parted mouth. Water coated her face and hair with a glimmering sheen. Her once fluffy, curly hair now laid flat on her skin and floated in the water around her like a dark, silky halo.

Schroeder was utterly mesmerized by her. Completely enamored.

Lucy opened her eyes, still panting as she doggie paddled in place. She hurriedly wiped her face with one hand. She spun in a circle, looking for something— someone. When her eyes land on Schroeder, her mouth breaks out into a goofy grin. She lazily breaststroke towards him, half of her chin under the water.

Less than a foot away from each other, Lucy reaches out for him and he takes her hands in his. He pulled her close, afraid that the waves might try to steal her away again. A lopsided, toothy grin found its way onto his mouth.

“Hey, pretty girl.” She giggled as he guided her hands to rest on his shoulders. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. Their legs collided with each other as they kicked to stay afloat. Schroeder placed a hand on the small of her back, pushing her further into him. Her legs wrapped around his torso.

She was close to him now. Close enough to see the individual water droplets coating her eyelashes. Close enough to kiss. But he didn’t. He just wanted to get a good look at her, natural hair and bare face sopping wet. Schroeder gently pushed a strand of hair that was glued to her cheek, his fingers grazing her skin lightly. So so pretty.

She glanced at him shyly before looking away, biting her lip. A faint blush painted her cheeks. Whatever she was feeling in this moment, Schroeder felt it 10 times stronger.

In a flash, Lucy transferred from straddling his hips to his back. As she laid her chin on his shoulder, she pointed for him to go forward. A more playful attitude replaces her timid one. She lightly kicked his sides with her heels with imaginary stirrups.

“Giddy up, Sweetie! We’ve got to find the culprit that nearly drowned us.”

—

The day ended the same way it started, with the sun. The sky was a blistering red, orange, and yellow. It bathed everything in its warm colors. The sun was split, a half circle, as it hid its other half in the depths of the ocean. Reflections of its light bounced off the water’s surface, making the ocean sparkle magically.

Schroeder thought the sunsets back home were pretty, but it was agonizingly beautiful at the beach.

Bearing witness to this sunset was even more meaningful with his friends and Lucy by his side. It felt almost symbolic. The end of the day and the end of their highschool journey.

The feeling he bore was one of melancholy. How would things change after graduation? Would they all still be friends? Would they even still talk? Would they grow into strangers?

Schroeder knew this weekend was supposed to be fun, but he couldn’t help but ruin this moment for himself just a little bit. No artist was without their sorrows, and Schroeder the pianist wasn’t exempt from that tribulation. For how does one create art from a perfect life?

Lucy elbowed him gently. He turned his head to look at her. 

Her hair was in a stage between wet and dry. Frizzy beach waves, dried by sea salt and crimped by the raging sea, was a look he never thought he’d see on Lucy van Pelt. It suited her more than he expected. She was always so well kept, like she refused to look any other way. Right now, she was stripped of that normality. This was raw. Real.

He liked it.

Lucy gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand. “Are you okay?”

Was his sour mood so easily detectable? Schroeder smiled as if nothing was wrong and nodded. “Yes, I am. Why do you ask?” 

Lucy shot him a look that said “I don’t believe you.” When Schroeder didn’t budge, she sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. 

“I know when you’re lying, y’know. When you’re thinking too hard, you look like you’re staring into the distance like you’re searching for something that’s not there. So I know something’s wrong. You can tell me.”

“I guess nothing can get past you.” Schroeder chuckled dryly, shaking his head. He looked down at the sand between his legs. He absentmindedly drew random shapes into the tiny dunes at his disposal. He was all too aware of Lucy’s eyes on him, expecting. He sighed before relenting, “I guess… I guess I’m afraid.”

Lucy hummed, encouraging him to elaborate. Other than that, she kept to polite silence.

Schroeder looked up and stared back at the glimmering ocean. “I just don’t want to graduate yet, is all.” He chuckled again, the sound devoid of humor. “Which is funny because just a year ago, I was more than ready to pack up and move to New York City. You only came back our senior year, but one thing about me is that getting into Juilliard was my biggest priority. It’s always been Juilliard. I guess looking back now, getting in would be… validating. Like, Ah. So dedicating my youth to the piano wasn’t for nothing.”

He raised his arms in the air and shook them, waving his testimony to the skies above. Schroeder wanted to laugh, like laughing might get rid of that weight pressing uncomfortably on his chest. His throat tightened, not wanting him to speak more of these hidden feelings he’s kept stowed away. He forced the words to come out.

“I was so obsessed with getting accepted into Juilliard that I’ve completely disregarded my highschool life until now—and I don’t mean grades. I mean, experiences like this,” he said while gesturing to the ocean before him. He continued, “Being with friends and making memories that’ll outlive my being able to press a finger on a keyboard. I-” Schroeder’s voice cracked with emotion. Lucy remained silent, her head still on his shoulder. He glanced down with just his eyes. The only evidence that she was listening was the fluttering of her eyelashes. He swallowed the pit lodged in his throat. “I wish… I wish I hadn’t taken it all for granted. I’m just not ready for it to end.”

The crash of waves filled the silence between them. The sound was rhythmic, following the ebb and flow, like a prolonged metronome and that familiarity brought him much needed comfort. After a long while, Lucy finally spoke up.

“Y’know Sweetie, Charlie Brown and I spoke privately as of recently. It was that day in the greenhouse. He’s the one who told me to meet you there.” Schroeder’s ears perked up, curious. 

“What did you two talk about?”

She was hesitant, he could tell. He could tell by the way her body stiffened and the sharp inhale through her nose. “He told me that you were different from before and… that he thinks it's because of me.”

Schroeder cursed under his breath. He was going to clobber Charlie Brown. Lucy placed a gentle hand on his thigh, wordlessly telling him to calm down.

Lucy sighed softly, nearly inaudible, drowned out by the sounds of the beach. “I moved to the city and the only version of you I knew was that cute, little, blonde boy that played the piano and was obsessed with Beethoven. And perhaps you also hated me a little bit.” She chuckled and shook her head. “When I came back, I found that you grew into someone more reserved. You kept to yourself. I would watch you underneath that oak tree behind the school during lunch and I would think: Wasn’t he lonely being by himself all the time? I figured you just didn’t have friends, but Peppermint Patty and Franklin seemed to talk to you all the time and Charlie Brown was even at that family dinner so it couldn’t be that. I deduced that you just liked being alone.”

Schroeder inwardly cringed. Lucy practically just called him an antisocial loser. But—I mean—I sorta was. He had no one else but himself to blame for being seen in that light.

“Seeing you like that made me sad, so I found an excuse to talk to you. I remember making that mac and cheese for you and was so proud of myself. Like, How mature of me to be the first to bridge the distance. Pats on the back for you, Lucy. But then I brought it to your house and it looked like you wanted to throw it back in my face. Haha. I might have been smiling, but I was thinking to myself: Wow. This guy’s a real jerk. Why’d I even bother?” 

Schroeder gave her an apologetic look. She waved him off with indifference. “That’s why I wasn’t particularly happy to see you at Peppermint Patty’s party and looking for me out of all people. I mean, what could you have possibly wanted from me? You made it extremely clear that you wanted nothing to do with me, not as kids and not even 10 years later. I couldn’t be mad at you for too long though because you were so incredibly awkward—almost to a comedic level.” Lucy laughed as she recalled the memory. Schroeder flushed and looked away, embarrassed. He tried shrugging her off of his shoulder, but she only giggled and snuggled in closer.

“Aw, don’t be so embarrassed. I thought it was cute. Anyways, we got closer and even closer—spoiler alert. Your inexperience in just about everything made being with you so much more endearing because I knew you were being genuine. Before I knew it, I started to like like you. It kinda scared me but it was also so thrilling. You brought this sort of childlike wonder out of me. How would Schroeder react if I did this? I bet he’d like it if I wore this. I’ve had boyfriends before, but none of them made me feel this way—cliche, I know. But it’s the truth, you made me feel alive.” 

Lucy sighed happily like those feelings were coming back to her. “And to think we weren’t even dating yet.” Her smile dropped as she frowned. “I told myself to not get too close, afraid that this line we were tiptoeing might snap and all progress of our tiny friendship might get sent back to the start. Or worse, to nothing. But I couldn’t help it and I thought I ruined it all on Thanksgiving-”

“But I was the one who tried kissing you-” Lucy stopped him with a finger to his lips.

“Yes, but I was the one who provoked it. No?” Schroeder fell silent and she retracted her hand. She saw the frown on Schroeder’s face and sighed heavily. She moved to sit at his front, Lucy’s small body between his legs. She leaned back into his chest and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her.

“I don’t regret it if that’s what you’re thinking. If I had to change anything about that night, I would have burned my sweet potato pie so that my brother didn’t interrupt us.” Schroeder chuckled. That damn pie.

“That, I can agree with.” Lucy nodded with a hum. She settled further into him, her hair touching his face. 

“I won’t claim that I had any influence on your personality because I don’t think it’s your personality that changed. It was your outlook of life. Your own confession kind of confirmed that. But whatever the case is, I’m glad I moved back. Even if it was only for a year.” 

“I’m glad too,” he replied softly. After a few seconds of silence, he added, “Thanks for giving your loser boyfriend a chance.” 

Lucy chuckled. She turned around and faced him on all fours, her hands on either side of him. Her face was close as she whispered, “You’re not a loser, Sweetie. But… you’re welcome.”

The sun was nearly gone now, dipping below the horizon. A gentle shade of blue mixed among the violent reds, signaling the turn of ownership of the sky. It painted Lucy’s face hauntingly beautiful, red on one side and blue on the other. Sun and moon, two sides of the same coin, all displayed on the halves of Lucy’s face.

Schroeder became hyper aware of everything around him. The sand that clung to his feet. The way his swim shorts dried stiffly on his body. The taste of salt in the air mixed with he and Lucy’s intermingling breaths.

He lifted a shaky hand to touch her face, cupping it. Lucy stared down at him with glittering eyes. He stared back with glossy ones. “I love you, Luce.”

She smiled and let out a breathy laugh before leaning in to capture his lips. “I love you too, Schroeder,” she mumbled against his lips. He carefully pried her mouth open and she tasted like salt and sea. The useless arm at his side planted itself on her waist. 

Perfect. Everything was just perfect.

Sand rained down on the two, causing them to break apart. Pigpen had kicked sand in their direction; he stood smugly behind them with his hands behind him. One glance over his shoulder and Schroeder realized that they were no longer alone. Their friends had returned from their individual errands, holding up their acquired goods to the interrupted couple.

Peppermint Patty held up a bag full of sparklers. “Sorry to interrupt the happy couple, but the party must continue.”

“Sparklers?” Shermy questioned after setting two buckets of beer filled with ice down in the sand. How he acquired those beers was beyond him. “What are we? Five?”

Marcie helped Peppermint Patty pass out the sparklers. She eyed Shermy and Pigpen with their beer incredulously. “Yes, Shermy. Sparklers. Because we aren’t allowed to pop bigger fireworks on the beach and unlike you two, me and Sir don’t particularly like breaking the law.” The two boys waved her off but didn’t complain any further, popping open a beer each.

The sun was completely gone now, melted into the dark sea. The beach was dark, now only being illuminated by the waning moon and the street lamps far away. Mostly everyone on the beach had either left or was packing up. Their group was the last on the sand.

Peppermint Patty gave him and Lucy a sparkler each. “Here. I think Frankie has the lighter.” Schroeder nodded and wordlessly tugged Lucy along to find Franklin. He and Charlie Brown were laughing, sipping on an already half empty bottle of beer.

“Have a light?” Franklin turned to Schroeder and smiled. He pulled a small lighter from his pocket and tossed it to Schroeder. He caught it with one hand. “Thanks.”

Schroeder lit the ends of his and Lucy’s sparklers and they came to life with a spark and sizzle. He handed her one of them and her face brightened. The shimmering pops of the firework reflected in her dark eyes. She giggled and tugged him along by the hand. Schroeder grinned as their pace quickened. 

They ran along the shore, laughing as water splashed at their feet, the glow of their sparklers leading them through the dark.

—

Schroeder and his friends sat in the lobby of their hotel. Peppermint Patty and Marcie stepped away from the counter, three different room keys looped on separate fingers. She gave a key to Charlie Brown and Pigpen.

“Alright. So I don’t care how you guys divide these rooms. Whoever’s left over can room with me and Marcie.” 

Majority of the group sprints to the elevators after receiving the two keys and quickly leaves behind Schroeder, Lucy, Marcie, and Peppermint Patty in the lobby. Bickering over who shares what room ensues loudly down the hall, their heavy footsteps sounding like a stampede on the hotel’s carpet. Schroeder chuckled and clutched Lucy’s hand, their bags in his other hand and slung over his shoulder. He grinned over at Marcie and Patty to his left.

“Mind if we room with you two, then?” If there were two beds, then the four of them would fit perfectly. Though, the thought of sharing a bed with Lucy made his heart race. 

“Absolutely not,” Patty responded in an upbeat tone that confused Schroeder. Marcie then pulled out a fourth key from her pocket and handed it to Lucy. Both Lucy’s and Schroeder’s eyes widened unexpectedly.

“What’s this?”

Peppermint Patty smirked and put a hand on her hip. “What does it look like to you, Schroeder boy? It’s your and Lucy’s room key.”

“B-but,” Lucy stammered. She cutely pointed at the key in her open palm, eyes still wide with shock. “I thought you only had three rooms?” She squeaked. Patty shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I said that so the others wouldn’t whine about you two getting your own room. Also figured that the two of you could use some privacy being the only official couple on the trip.” She winked at Schroeder and his face turned bright red. To really add fuel to the fire, Patty leaned into his ear and said in a not-so-discreet voice, “The only available room left was a single bed. Hope you don’t mind.”

Mind? Schroeder wasn’t sure he had one at this point. 

The hand that held Lucy’s hand grew sweaty and he was sure she could feel it too. He risked a glance down at her and, sure enough, her face was practically as red as his own. Her eyes darted to him, and upon seeing his nervous look, she quickly and shyly averted her gaze.

Oh god. Was this making her uncomfortable?

The other two girls left the couple to their own—awkward—devices. Lucy stared at her feet, her face red, while Schroeder tried to comprehend what just occurred. Patty set them up. Whether it was for better or for worse, he still hadn’t decided yet. The cherry on top was the item that Linus gave him this morning, stuffed away in the depths of his bag as if to suppress the fact that it wasn’t, in fact, still in his possession. If you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist, right? Linus’ teasing voice rang in his head like a trumpet.

Just in case.

Schroeder could feel the tip of his ears grow hot. Something twitched in his pants, a reminder that at the end of the day—and no matter how much he tried to deny his lust for the sake of his precious girlfriend—he was still a hormonal teenager.

Jesus- Why was everyone so intent on being his wingman? He wasn’t that helpless, was he? And no, whether he was “helpless” or not wouldn’t matter anyways. He wouldn’t force Lucy to do anything that she didn’t want to. That is—hypothetically—if anything were to happen. Which could mean that nothing happened at all. But, surely they would at least kiss, right? They’ve done that plenty. But only if Lucy would even want to, of course. And if she didn’t, that would be totally okay and understandable.

Lucy awkwardly chuckled, the sound strained and unnatural, and gestured towards the elevators. “Let’s um- get to our room, shall we?” Schroeder, shaken out of his endless cycle of doubt and reassurance, nodded. Albeit, a bit too enthusiastically than he intended. He covered up his enthusiasm with a fake cough.

“Uh, yeah. We should.”

The walk to the elevators was silent. As they waited for said elevator, they were also quiet. It was so quiet that even the soft ding of the elevator arriving made them jump. The ride up to their floor wasn’t as silent thanks to the generic elevator music that filled the small, rising platform. The music, however bland, calmed Schroeder just the tiniest bit. There was always comfort in familiarity.

That reprieve was short-lived as the elevator stopped on their floor. They disembark and find the hallways even more quiet than the lobby. Eerily so. The absent chatter of their friends told Schroeder all that he needed to know. He and Lucy were on a separate floor from them. Because the Lord knows that everyone would still be able to hear them from inside their rooms.

His heart’s thumping was double the speed as his pace. This walk to their room—conveniently (not) placed at the end of the long hallway, felt like he was marching to receive divine judgement. He was nervous to say the least.

He tried to keep his hand steady as he inserted the key and unlocked the door. Lucy went in first and flicked on the lights. It was a quaint room, slightly smaller than the one they had shared in the city but that’s probably because of the singular bed placed at the center of the room. Blots of red covered the white hotel sheets and at first, Schroeder thought they had received a dirty bed. But upon closer inspection, he realized, to his horror, that they were actually rose petals.

Schroeder could have passed out right then and there. What the hell did Peppermint Patty tell the concierge when booking their private room?!

Lucy, too, was frozen at the holding entrance of their suite. Her cheeks were flushed as she chewed on her bottom lip. Her eyes were obviously glued onto the flower petals on the bed.

Quick, Schroeder. Change the topic. Take her mind off of it or something. Anything.

He rolled his shoulders back with trained indifference, the same air of confidence he’s used countless times in the past right before he had to perform on stage. Maybe if I didn’t seem phased, then Lucy wouldn’t be too rattled either.

He carried their luggage’s inside and placed them on a table. As he was hoping, Lucy followed him further into the room but only stood off to the side. He turned to her with a calm smile. “Would you like to use the bathroom first?”

Lucy waved him off and shook her head. She returned his smile. “No, you can go first this time. I…,” she paused with a blush. She averted her gaze. “I might take a little longer this time. Y’know, with my hair and stuff.” Schroeder didn’t understand why she was acting so embarrassed about her hair. It was normal that her long hair would get tangled from swimming in the ocean all day. Still, he didn’t question it. He could use some time alone right now anyways, get his thoughts and feelings sorted out.

He nodded wordlessly and grabbed his entire bag of clothes, hauling it into the bathroom with him. “Okay. I’ll be quick.” 

The bathroom locked behind him with a satisfying click. Schroeder let out the breath that he didn’t know he was holding. A whole separate floor. Lucy and him sharing a bed. Rose petals- He shook his head to get rid of the sinful implications in his mind. He turned on the shower, the dial turned to the coldest setting. His body instinctively flinched at the coldness, but he forced himself to stay underneath the frigid waterfall. His heated body simultaneously thanked and cursed him.

Once he was sure that all of the sand had been washed away, he rinsed the tub clean for Lucy. He stepped out, cold and shivering, and wrapped a towel around himself. He sighed as he rummaged through his bag for his pajamas before tugging them on, happy to have something covering his cold body. 

He’s about to zip up his bag, but the glint of a silver wrapper caught his eye. His body grew warm again at the sight of it, proving his cold shower to be futile. Before he could second guess himself, he hurriedly grabbed it and shoved it into his pajama pants pocket. Just in case.

Schroeder stepped out of the bathroom and found Lucy rummaging through one of her bags, sitting precariously at the edge of the, still, rose-covered bed. She didn’t even notice he had stepped out it looked like by the way she nibbled on her bottom lip, deep in thought. 

“You okay, Luce?”

His sudden question makes her jump, nervously clutching her bag to her chest. She groaned and shot him a red hot glare. “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” Schroeder chuckled, and for the first time since the beach, it had been genuine and not out of awkwardness. He continued fluffing his damp hair with his towel and gestured leisurely towards the open bathroom door. “Your turn.”

Lucy pursed her lips together and gave a firm nod. By the foggy look in her eyes, it seemed that she was nodding to herself as a way of encouragement. Her whole body was rigid, her shoulders high and stiff. She was like a frightened cat, back hunched in fear. Schroeder frowned. Was she still weirded out with the sleeping arrangement? Maybe Peppermint Patty was getting ahead of herself when booking them this private room. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the day by confining Lucy to this hotel room with him against her will.

Schroeder sighed quietly and draped the wet towel over his shoulders. He shoved his hands into his pocket, the square package brandishing his palm as he inadvertently clutched it. “Look, Lucy. We don’t have to share a room by ourselves. If you want, I’m sure someone wouldn’t mind switching rooms with us. Hell, Shermy and Pigpen would probably-”

Lucy’s eyes widened and she clenched her bag tighter. “No!” She shouted in protest. Her outburst surprised him. Her face reddened some more before she looked away. She stuttered nervously, “It’s not that I don’t want to share a room with you, Schroeder. I… I want to actually. I’m just shy.” She pouted adorably and crossed her arms protectively across her chest. Schroeder grinned, unable to fight it. He slowly crossed the room and cautiously sat beside her, careful to leave an arms-length of space between them. 

“Okay. If you say so,” he replied quietly, glancing at her. She was still looking away. “If—by chance—you… ever decide to change your mind. If at any point of the night that you start to feel uncomfortable-” He wasn’t even able to finish his before Lucy sprang up from the bed, arms still crossed. 

She huffed haughtily, nose up in the air, and quickly walked to the bathroom with her belongings. “I am perfectly comfortable. Now, if you excuse me, I have some pampering to do.” The door slammed closed and Schroeder laughed with a shake of the head.

“Lucy. I want to make it clear that I don’t want you to feel like you’re getting pressured to stay here in any way-”

“Consider myself unpressurized! Thanks!” And with that final statement of defiance, the sound of the shower turning on filled the bathroom. Schroeder sighed and glanced behind him at the bed they had to share. 

It was the largest size mattress, a king. The bright red rose petals were stark against the white sheets. His cheeks warmed again. This was simply too much, for both Lucy and him. Determined, he gathered each individual petal. He must have had enough for a full bouquet by the time he had all of it. He placed the discarded petals on their bedside table, half on Lucy’s and the rest on his. Hands on his hips, he deemed that the bed looked a little less intimidating than how they first found it. If he really needed to, he could place a pillow between them and they’d still have plenty of room on their respective sides of the bed. Hopefully now Lucy would be a little more comfortable.

Schroeder grabbed the TV remote and settled on his side of the bed. The channel automatically turned on to a news channel. Speaking of Lucy, she was taking an awful long time in the bathroom, longer than her previous shower when they were in the city. The shower was still on, a very hot one apparently as he noticed the billows of steam escaping through the slit at the bottom of the door. 

He shrugged it off. She did mention how she might take longer.

Eventually, though, Lucy does step out of the bathroom. Emerging from a screen of smoke, the first thing Schroeder sees is her bare arms. Then, her flushed face and her legs. And finally, her whole figure appears from the haze like an angel bursting through the clouds. And Jesus Christ-

If Schroeder was standing, he might have fallen to his knees. His girlfriend stood shyly in the bathroom doorway, wearing lingerie. It was a dusty pink, slip-on dress that stopped where her underwear started. The hem was a creamy lace which also lined the neckline that dropped down to the end of her sternum. He could also tell she wasn’t wearing a bra.

His first reaction was to devour the sight before him, mouth agape. His second reaction was to gasp and cover his eyes. But even though his eyes were now closed, he could see the vision of her imprinted in the back of his eyelids. 

“L-Lucy!” He stammered, flustered. He could finally find the words to exclaim her name. What's going on? What's happening? This can't be happening. His mind was blank but swirling at the same time. He could feel, not just his face grow hot, but the rest of his body. The lust he had hosed down with cold water was quickly reignited, the small spark of excitement quickly growing into a roaring fire.

Schroeder felt the bed dip in front of him and he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. That dip in the mattress traveled closer to him, accompanied by the hypnotic scent of lilies, before stopping to spread his crossed legs and took its place between them. Soft hands pried his own off his face. With his shield gone, there was no point in denying what was in front of him any longer. He opened his eyes slowly.

Their eyes connect and Lucy van Pelt stares him down. The look in her eyes is not mischievous or confident as he initially expected, but the exact opposite. The glint in her warm eyes is unsure, shy. She bites her lip nervously and rolls it between her teeth. “I should have known I would be the one to make the first move.”

Schroeder’s brows furrowed in confusion. He sat up, his back pressing against the backboard. He kept his eyes fixed on her face. “First move?" Is she saying what I think she's saying? "I didn’t think you’d want to do anything.” Lucy rolled her eyes, the first bit of sass since they first arrived at the hotel.

“Where did you get that idea from? We’re in a hotel room, alone, and sharing a bed that was covered in rose petals before you removed them.” She gestured to the pile of petals on their tables. She huffed, “Of course I planned on doing something aside from sleeping, you blockhead. You were just too dense and in your own head to realize.”

Was his consideration of her ultimately the thing that let her down? Did he try to fix something that didn't need to be fixed? Could he fix this?

Her words fanned the fire already blazing through his veins. Lucy wanted—intended—to do something with him. Whatever that “something” was, he’d happily comply. The thing Linus gave him started to burn in his pocket, a blaring reminder. 

“Oh.” His voice is quiet. His eyes soften. He could tell that Lucy was embarrassed in having to say it out loud, her face glowing red. It made sense now. The way she stared at the bed covered in rose petals when they first walked in. The way she clutched her bag close to her as if she was hiding something. The long shower she had taken prior to this. How had he not noticed the signs before? 

She wanted this as much as he did.

He focused solely on her, tuning out everything else. His self-doubt, his anxiety, his insecurity, his fear. He wouldn't let his brain ruin this. He wouldn't let himself disappoint her.

He turns the TV off and the room is drowned in silence. He smiled at her, genuine and happy and just a dash bit anxious. Lucy continued staring at him, refusing to look away even as her mind probably begged her to after the humiliation. Without breaking eye contact, he switches on the lampshade and the overhead lights automatically dims in response. 

Lucy wanted him to make the first move, so he was going to do just that.

Schroeder carefully and slowly switched their positions, cradling her body to lie flat on the bed. He nestled on top of her. She let him. 

She stared up at him with dreamy eyes. Eyes full of joy, warmth, and love. It was enough to make Schroeder’s heart constrict.

Schroeder kissed her gently. Tenderly. Lovingly. There was no rush tonight. No curfew. No school. No entrance exams or college applications. No interrupting little brothers. No pesky best friends. No family to hear them nearby. 

Just him and Lucy and nothing but their swollen hearts between them.

Chapter Text

Schroeder chuckled and carefully pried his teary-eyed mother from smothering his face in any more kisses. He gave her a tight hug and did the same for his father. He pulled away and rolled his eyes, a smile on his lips. 

“You guys act like I’m leaving for the real deal. This is just a campus tour, remember? It’s just for the weekend.” How many times has he explained this to them, he lost count. His parents blearily nodded and eventually let him go after a final hug. 

Butterflies made his stomach uncomfortably flip back and forth. He gripped his duffel bag at his side a little tighter. One foot in front of the other, Schroeder forced himself into the airport. One check-in counter and a long security line later, he made it to his boarding gate. 

He was an hour early for boarding with nothing to do. He absentmindedly tapped imaginary keys on his thigh. He let his mind wander.

Juilliard. To think, one flight away would be the school of his dreams. Waiting, expecting his arrival. He could hardly believe it, could hardly bear the anticipation of it.

It would be his first time in New York City, too. The Big Apple, a city he’s only seen in movies and television. And soon, he’d be a part of the hustle and bustle, not just as another visitor or tourist like he would be today. The prospect made the thought of graduation a little more bearable.

Before he knew it, it was time to board, the daydreaming making the hour pass by in a breeze. He sat down in his assigned seat, a lovely little window seat. The plane began filling quickly; it was a fully-booked flight. 

He plucked the Walkman from his backpack, popped in a tape, and placed the headset over his ears. He pressed play, the gentle quell of the piano floating into his ears, and stared out the window. 

Thoughts of Juilliard melted into thoughts of Lucy. Schroeder wondered how her own college tours were going. She’s been absent from school since their outing to the beach, to his utter dismay. Her senior skip day turned into a senior skip week. But he supposed that it couldn’t be helped, she did have a long list of colleges to choose from. Perhaps seeing them in person will help me finally decide, is what his girlfriend told him before she left.

Schroeder missed her dearly. After their night together, he did not want to be away from her for even a second. Her scheduled college tours were sore timing for his newfound codependency. That’s why he decided to book his own campus tour, as a way to get his mind off of how much he missed her.

As soon as they saw each other again, he’d show her exactly how much he missed her. He’d hold her. He’d kiss her. He’d-

A tap on his shoulder forces him out of his daydreams of his girlfriend. His head snapped to the side and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Lucy?!” He yanked his Walkman off, not bothering to even press pause on Beethoven’s 5th Symphony.

Like an angel he summoned out of his despair, Lucy was right there, standing in the aisle, and staring at him like she also couldn’t believe her own eyes.

“Schroeder?! I knew you looked familiar!” Other passengers pushed past her. She mumbled a few apologies before sliding into the middle seat, right next to Schroeder. Tongue tied, he continued to stare at her, aghast. What was she doing here? She was supposed to be in another state, touring a college in some faraway city. She buckled her seat belt before turning to him. “Funny how we managed to get seats next to each other without knowing. But, what are you doing here, Sweetie?”

He looked at her incredulously. “That’s what I’m supposed to be asking you. I’m going to go check out Juilliard for the weekend. Now what are you doing on a flight to New York City? Don’t you have more colleges to look at?”

The excitement in her eyes faded with the constriction of her pupils. She turned away and faked a smile. Schroeder knew it was fake by the way her lips were pursed together, the only notion of a “smile” was the slight upturn at the corners of her mouth. 

“Well, that is why I’m here. I have a reservation for a tour at NYU later this afternoon.” Schroeder’s happiness drained in an instant. It started in his head, painting his face pale. Then the rest of his body, causing a chill to envelope his veins.

What? Why… Why NYU? She had Harvard and- and other Ivy League schools under her belt, wanting her as their student. He brushed off that application to NYU as a last resort option in the instance that no other school on her list would accept her. Of course NYU would accept her too, but… But why still consider it now? There was no reason to-

Pros: Schroeder.

Lightheaded, Schroeder chuckled but it came out more of a disturbed choke. “NYU? Why bother? You’re not going to attend there anyways. I mean—surely— you liked what you saw from the other universities, right?” His voice came out harsh, sharper than he intended.

Lucy shuffled uncomfortably. He watched in perturbed silence as she bit her lip and shrugged stiffly. She folded her hands in her lap. 

“I mean, yeah. But y’know- It wouldn’t hurt to take a look, right? Like… I already had this flight booked so…” She refused to look at him. Schroeder closed his eyes and sighed heavily. She booked this flight beforehand. She was right, why cancel the trip if she already planned it? She was just being her normal, prepared self. She was just weighing all the possibilities. Calm down, Schroeder.

Once she realized how the NYU campus pales in comparison to schools like Harvard, she wouldn’t even think twice about crossing it off her list for good. Taking a look couldn’t hurt. Right?

Schroeder nodded, mostly to reassure himself than agreeing with her. He opened his eyes and stared at her with a lighthearted smile. She was looking down at her lap, playing with the ring on her finger. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. She looked up, seemingly surprised at his change of attitude. He kissed the back of her palm, their hands still intertwined.

“Good idea. Actually, how about we go on the tours together? I’ll come with you to see NYU and you with me to Juilliard.” Might as well make the most of their unexpected meeting, right?  

Lucy must have thought so too. Her face visibly brightened. She squealed excitedly before hurriedly slamming a hand over her mouth, wary of the other passengers.

She quickly pecked Schroeder’s lips and he sighed from the feeling of it, no matter how brief. Although the faint prickling sensation of dread still lingered in his stomach, he was glad to see Lucy so happy. “Yes! Oh, yes! I think that's an even better idea, Sweetie.”

—

Walking out of the arrival gate and into the chaotic chorus of car honks and smog was like entering another world for Schroeder. It took his breath away— literally. New York City was much different from the “city” he knew and where Lucy had lived. Could you experience culture shock without even leaving the country you were born in? 

Gone were the green, rolling hills of his home town. Replacing them was a concrete jungle of grey and white. Instead of the occasional car or two driving through his neighborhood, there were cars lined up, bumper-to-bumper; he couldn’t even see the road with how many cars there were.

He was overwhelmed. Lucy, who was at least a bit more equipped with the way of the city, ushered them into an open taxi. Lucy turned to him and her mouth moved with a question. Schroeder blinked and his ears finally stopped ringing. 

“What?” 

The cab driver snapped at them, telling them to hurry up. Lucy sighed and gently patted his thigh. A gesture of reassurance. “Just take us as close to Times Square as you can please. Wait no- that would be too far of a walk. Broadway, please. Thanks.” The driver mumbled something about pesky tourists as he started the meter and left the airport terminal. A few honks were given for good measure.

Schroeder sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “Sorry. I just- I don’t know.” He would need to get used to this. And soon. He gave Lucy an appreciative smile. If she were not with him, this cab driver might have kicked him out. “Thank you. But to answer your question, I don’t have a hotel. My admissions counselor has me staying on campus. In the dormitories.” 

A shadow of disappointment flickered across Lucy’s face before quickly disappearing behind an easygoing smile. Her lips pursed together and she nodded firmly.

“Oh. Me too. Staying overnight is pretty customary for incoming freshmans, isn’t it? I- I don’t know why I even asked. It’s just- I just thought that maybe…” She stopped herself by biting down on her lip harshly. She blushed and turned her head to the window, pretending to gaze around at the city. 

There was only one way for Schroeder to interpret this. Lucy had missed him in these days apart too.

But they wouldn’t be able to have their way this time. Not tonight. 

The corners of Schroeder’s mouth twitched downward before settling into a rigid smile. He grasped her hand in his, squeezing it from his lap. “Hey. At least we’ll get to spend the day together. Right?” That was the best he could do given how spontaneous their meeting was.

Lucy shifted, dissatisfied, before nodding. She put on her best smile. “Yeah. Okay.”

The two stepped out of the cab about a couple blocks away from Juilliard. They were smack dab in the center of Broadway Street, home of the performing arts. Schroeder beamed as he excitedly spun to look at all the signs. He could only imagine how the neon lights would look at night. Tourists crowded the streets, snapping pictures of the various theatres. Some lined up at the box offices, trying to land a seat for one of the many performances happening later tonight.

Schroeder looked past the tourists and the shiny lights. He observed the people who walked a little bit faster, those who walked with purpose and intent. They bristled past the unsuspecting tourists and entered various, unmarked doors and alleyways. Some of them had instrument cases strapped to their backs or in their hands like misshapen suitcases. Some stared down at a pamphlet of papers, their mouths moved wordlessly as if reciting what they were reading. 

Performers, Schroeder thought in awe, Just like me.

“Wow,” he commented breathlessly. This was it. This here, on this busy street, was the future he had envisioned for himself. His dream. It was so close now, he could almost taste it.

Lucy chuckled as she also looked around curiously. She grinned up at him, lightly elbowing his side. “Is it everything you imagined it would be?” 

He pried his eyes away from the busy street of Broadway. His girlfriend peered up at him lovingly, adoration and amusement glistening in her eyes. She was happy for him, that much was clear. Schroeder smiled back at her widely with genuine glee, the excitement of being in NYC radiating and infecting them both. 

Schroeder grasped her hands with a squeeze. “And more,” he admitted breathlessly. He let go of her to gesture around him, spinning. He felt like a little kid. He laughed. “I can’t believe I’m actually here.” 

Lucy chuckled again before holding his hand again tugged him forward. “Well, better start believing it because we’re heading to your school. Let’s go!” They ran down Broadway without a care of how ridiculous they looked. 

The entrance to Schroeder’s dream school was, in other words, inconspicuous. It was like any other building he’s seen in New York City thus far. Grey, cold, and just simply a building. The only reason he was able to discern that it was, indeed, the correct building was the giant words “Juilliard” engraved at the front with the building’s address. 

Juilliard was greatly underwhelming and not at all a school that looked like it raised America’s greatest performers. But, you do not judge a book by its cover, just as you do not judge a production based solely on its costumes and props. There was something symbolic with that. To think that such an unseeming college could produce such talent, to polish mere pieces of coal such as himself into diamonds that shined within their own respective domains.

He sharply inhaled and put on his performance mask. My future lay inside these walls, not outside of it. He smiled down at Lucy, reinspired, and pulled them inside. “Come on.”

Inside, they approach the front desk. They are led to the wait among the other prospecting students. There were about 20 of them combined, young men and women evenly divided. Some dressed eccentrically, some prim and proper, and some were like him and dressed… rather plainly. Schroeder wondered who among them would be his future classmates. Perhaps all of them, maybe none of them at all. 

They tour the entirety of the campus. From the dormitories to the campus library. From the various lecture halls to the stages used by the drama department. From the cafeteria to the rooms where dancers practiced in front of a wall of mirrors.

He was most intrigued by the practice rooms that the music majors occupied. He heard the sounds of bows bouncing on strings, the ear-shackling vibratos of sopranos, and the soft plinking of piano keys behind the locked doors. Schroeder imagined himself behind those doors in the upcoming years. He’d once again hone his skills on the piano to a degree he couldn’t imagine reaching with the limited resources available to his small town. He’d have renowned pianists guiding his fingers and renowned composers sharpening his musical mind.

Schroeder could hardly wait.

He and Lucy exited the bland, cement building with a fresh, new attitude than when they first entered.

“So,” Schroeder started as he swung his and Lucy’s joined hands, his voice high-pitched with unrestrained glee. “What do you think?” 

By the look on Lucy’s face, she found what she saw inside as pleasing as he did. She hummed and grinned up at him. She glanced at the fading college behind them.

“I don’t know what I expected from a performing arts college. I thought there would be students dancing in the hallways or… someone to randomly burst into song. Maybe for people to join along.” That earned a burst of laughter from Schroeder. Lucy chuckled and shook her head. They walked down Broadway once more and hailed a nearby taxi. He opened the door for her. Before getting into the cab himself, Schroeder took another look at Broadway street, smiling, and slammed the door behind him. The Broadway signs grew smaller in the background as they made their way to the other side of New York City.

He settled into the leather seats, sighing happily. Lucy snuggled up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“I can picture you there,” Lucy blurted abruptly. Schroeder looked at her, confused. She sat up slowly and smiled softly. “At Juilliard, I mean. I can imagine you playing your piano there—with people who can appreciate Beethoven more than anyone back home could.” The words, more than I ever could, drifted silently from her sealed mouth. She paused before adding, “I’m… I’m happy for you, Schroeder. Truly.” Melancholy coated her sweet words.

Schroeder nodded, grateful for the validation. “Thank you, Lucy.”

They ride the rest of the way in comfortable silence, enjoying the sights of the city from their cab window. They get out of the car when they pull up to New York University. He pushed away any previous feelings he harbored for the school. He was here for Lucy and Lucy only.  

He smiled for her. “Ready for this tour?” 

“Actually,” Lucy began nervously. Schroeder glanced down at her fidgeting form. She would not look him in the eye. Her feet dragged behind her as they came to a stop. “I changed my mind. Is it okay if… if you just waited for me instead?” Schroeder frowned. 

“Oh.” He wondered why her attitude changed all of a sudden. She seemed excited when he suggested it on the plane. “I don’t mind necessarily. Why the change of heart though?”

Lucy sighed and shrugged in exasperation, her arms slamming to her sides. “I don’t know. I- I’m just nervous with you around. I mean-” She corrected herself, “I feel like it’s going to be difficult beating your Juilliard tour. I’ll feel less embarrassed if I just go alone.”

He wanted to accompany her, but there was no time to argue; the tour would be starting soon. Schroeder nodded, albeit a little hesitantly. “If that’s what you want, then okay. I’ll wait for you over there,” he said while pointing at an empty bench parked under a large tree. Lucy looked to where he was pointing. She sighed in relief and agreed. He kissed the top of her forehead when she turned back around. “Take your time. I brought a book, so I won’t be bored.”

Lucy smiled sadly and nodded silently before walking the opposite direction. Schroeder sighed heavily before taking a seat at the bench he had chosen. He pulled out a book and his Walkman, pressing resume on Beethoven’s symphony that he had not yet finished on the plane thanks to Lucy’s surprise company.

He was restless on the bench, his leg bouncing with anticipation. Familiar music filled his ears, but it did not bring him comfort. The story on the page was simply just words on a page, lacking substance without his attention. Schroeder’s mind wandered aimlessly, circling the same questions. 

How was Lucy’s tour going? Did she like the campus? Did she not? Why did she not want me with her?

Was he a terrible person for hoping that she didn’t like the tour? That she hates everything she sees? Yes, I was terrible for thinking that. 

As much as Schroeder loved the thought of Lucy being in the same city for college, he loathed the idea that she would be unhappy here. If only he hadn’t taken a peak of her journal and was unaware of how she felt about the other colleges on her list. If only he had chosen to stay ignorant, then maybe he would be more supportive on the matter of her attending NYU. 

Somehow, that thought brought an even more sour taste in his mouth. How could he even think like that? Didn’t he want the best for her? Didn’t he want Lucy to be in a college with more pros other than his name? He swallowed harshly. 

Of course I do.

This cycle of guilt and anxiousness continued relentlessly in his mind until Lucy tapped him lightly on the shoulder, snapping him out of it. The gentle cast of yellow on her face tells him that it was already nighttime; the campus street lamps had turned on without him knowing. He gently took off his headphones. His ears were ringing; he also hadn’t realized that he had turned up the volume to the highest setting, a futile attempt at distracting himself.

He crookedly smiled at her, unnerved from the thoughts in his head, before standing up with a stretch. He put his hands on his hips, looking down at her now. “Well?” He had a million questions. He stuck with a simple, “How was it?”

Lucy bit her lip and averted her gaze. Her pupils constricted, growing smaller with his question. She looked like she was lost in her own mind, just as he was when he was waiting for her. Schroeder’s heart just about stopped. What was with that expression? Was she impressed with NYU? Or was that the look of disappointment? He mentally cursed; he could normally read her so well.

He frowned and grabbed her by the shoulders. She glanced up in surprise, a tiny gasp leaving her lips. He tucked her hair behind her ears then placed his headphones over her ears, Beethoven still playing. Lucy stayed still as he worked the current cassette out of the case, popping in a new one. 

He supposed if he couldn’t tell what was wrong, then he could at least try to make her feel better.

He pressed play and watched as Lucy’s face lit up with pleasant surprise. She grasped the headphones and pressed the muffs closer to her ears.

“ABBA? I thought you didn’t listen to stuff like this.”

Schroeder chuckled, shaking his head, as he stuffed the music player into his jean pocket. Maybe if he was younger—stuck up and arrogant—then he might not have a pop music cassette nestled with his beloved classical music. Now, he wasn’t claiming to have a vast collection of radio music, but what mattered was that he was no stranger to it now. Nor did he hate it.

“I normally don’t.”

Lucy’s head bounced to the beat of the music and did not make any attempt to entertain any further small talk. Her standoffish body language told Schroeder that she wanted a bit of space, so he didn't try to hold her hand in any way. He’d wait for her signal. 

The headphone cord is what connects them as they walk side by side off of campus. 

Instead of hailing a taxi, Schroeder follows the flow of people. He makes sure to stay glued to her side, their arms constantly brushing due to the swarm of people around them. Despite being squished between the mass of bodies, Lucy still seems to be in a daze, unphased. She was lost in her thoughts and deafened by music.

She must have really trusted him. Because like a sheep, it only took a little nudge from Schroeder to get Lucy to walk in the direction he wanted. Though it did make getting to their destination easier given that they weren’t speaking.

There’s a click in his pocket, signaling the end of the tape, but it doesn’t matter. They finally made it to the famed Times Square. When the blinding lights shine in her eyes, only then does Lucy remove the headset. She gingerly hands it back to him with a quiet thanks that’s instantly drowned out by the sounds of the city. 

She loops her arm through his and stops walking, making Schroeder freeze beside her. He places a hand over hers, ensuring that she stays attached to him. She gazes up at the buildings in silent awe, mouth slightly parted. Her hair is tousled from walking all day. Baby hairs stuck to her forehead where sweat dried. Light reflects off the whites of her eyes, making them twinkle like stars. 

“So pretty,” Lucy mumbles nearly incoherently. Schroeder nods with a small smile.

“Yeah. It is.”

Lucy frowned and clutched her stomach. She looked away from the endless sky of advertisements and up at him. “I’m hungry.”

Schroeder grinned and pressed his lips together, holding in a laugh. So that’s why she was acting so weird? She was just… hungry? 

He glanced around for any nearby food and spotted a neon sign in the shape of a pizza slice. Schroeder pointed at it. “Want some pizza?”

Surprisingly, Lucy agrees right away and she’s the one to drag him in the direction of the restaurant. They order a New York style pizza—whatever that means—and sit down at an empty table facing each other. They both scarf down their slice, famished after a long day of walking. When they finish, Schroeder leans forward, his forearms on the table.

“How was the tour, Luce?”

She immediately frowns and straightens, her back pressed to the back of her seat, further away from him. She wipes her hands with a napkin at a torturously slow pace. She seems to be deep in thought again, as if she was debating on what to say. 

Schroeder sighs heavily and sits back. Now he knew for sure that something was bothering her. What exactly happened during that tour? Was it really that bad? He was regretting not insisting harder on accompanying her. “What’s the matter, Lucy? Did something happen?”

Lucy sighed, louder and heavier than his. She shrugged before letting her shoulders drop dramatically. “That’s the issue. Nothing happened.”

Schroeder raised a brow, confused. “I don’t get it.”

Lucy pursed her lips together. “Nothing. Happened,” she emphasized. She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “There was nothing spectacular about it. At least, not for me. Not compared to the other colleges I visited.”

Schroeder’s heart leapt out of his chest. I knew it. He knew that this visit would open her eyes. He bit back a smile. This wasn’t the time for a celebration. Lucy was visibly upset. He really was a terrible person. 

But at least now Lucy could focus on narrowing down her other choices. The choices that had more than one redeeming quality other than him.

A quality that she shouldn’t have had to consider in the first place.

“Oh.”

Lucy let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah. Such a lame way to end off my college tours, right? Maybe I should have started here and worked my way up. But I guess you being here makes it bearable.”

—

Things were not the same after their trip to New York City. And not in a good way.

Lucy was always in her head, discussing topics with herself or her journal that she refused to share with Schroeder. These trances that she would lodge herself into were ones he could not break with warm words or sweet gestures as he’d done countless times before. It had only been a couple days, but Lucy had grown colder. More detached. Whether or not she realized or intended for this, Schroeder did not know. 

He had taken her to see a movie in another attempt to lure his girlfriend out of the depths of her busy mind. He also slipped in a sweet treat in the form of caramel popcorn in hopes to loosen her tongue.

Unfortunately, neither trick works on Lucy. She deadpans the screen, seemingly watching the movie but her faraway gaze tells him otherwise. As for the sweet popcorn, she absentmindedly shovels the kernels into her mouth. 

“So… Lucy…” 

The girl doesn’t respond as she continues to eat the popcorn with a dazed look. He sighed and sank into his seat, defeated. 

Whatever. Maybe she was just really absorbed into the movie. I’ll confront her later.

When the movie ends and Schroeder peels out of the parking lot, Lucy doesn’t start talking like how he hoped she would. She’s eerily quiet, blankly staring out the window. Normally, after a movie, they’d spend the drive home talking about what they just watched. It was one of his favorite things about watching a movie with Lucy, honestly. Tonight was not like the other movie dates they shared.

Schroeder taps the steering wheel while occasionally glancing over at the passenger seat. He cleared his throat, the cough slicing through the thick silence.

“So… Did you enjoy the movie?”

Lucy hums with a little nod. “Mhm. I liked it.” She doesn’t even look at him as she responds. Schroeder steals another glance in her direction, unconvinced.

“That’s good. What was your favorite part?”

Lucy stiffened at his question. It was subtle, but it was there. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “Um. There were a lot of good parts!” She turned to Schroeder with a sweet smile, nearly sweet enough for Schroeder to brush it off. “What was your favorite part, Sweetie?”

Schroeder grinned. “My favorite was when Sue rejected him. She deserves better.”

Lucy nodded furiously, brows knotted in mock agreement. “Yes. That was my favorite too.” 

Schroeder sighed and shook his head. “Lucy, the main character didn’t reject the guy. They got together, actually. And her name was Sandy, not Sue.” Busted.

Lucy’s eyes widened. She pointed a shaky finger at him. “Y-you lied to me,” she squeaked in embarrassment. She pursed her lips and looked away.

“I did. I’m sorry.” When Lucy didn’t turn to him, Schroeder sighed heavily. “What’s up with you lately? You’re not… yourself.”

Lucy huffed, indignant, “I am perfectly myself, Schroeder. Thank you very much.”

He laughed purely out of disbelief. Unironically, this conversation was the most “herself” she’s been the past couple of days. “I’m being serious, Lucy-”

“And so am I.”

Schroeder sharply inhaled, gripping the steering wheel tighter. Breathe, Schroeder. His patience came from years of the piano, technique and precision when playing required him to. He was especially slow to anger when it came to Lucy, but there was only so much back-and-forth he could take regarding the same matter.

He started slowly, cautiously, as if he was approaching a stray cat. “Lucy. I know something’s been bothering you lately. You haven’t been the same since we got back from New York. If there’s something on your mind—maybe it’s about college, but I’m here to listen.” He took another deep breath as he parked on her driveway. He turned to her with fierce determination. “You can tell me anything, Luce. You know that, don’t you?”

She was silent. But it was not a cold sort of silent, but of silent deliberation. He could tell by the slow rise and fall of her shoulders and the way her reflection showed her biting her lip. Schroeder held his breath as he waited for her decision.

Lucy finally turned to him, her long hair flinging to her back. She gave him a small smile before leaning over the center console to place a light kiss to his cheek. Schroeder smiled widely, the puffing of cheeks pressing into her lips. 

Lucy pulled away with a sigh. “You know me too well, Sweetie.” She grabbed his hand and gave it a tight and quick squeeze. “It’s true. I do have something on my mind, but I need some time to think. I can’t exactly tell you what exactly is bothering me if I’m not sure of it myself. Right?”

His happy smile faded and was replaced with one of understanding, albeit a bit disappointed. She isn’t ready to tell me. He nodded stiffly.

“Okay. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.” 

Schroeder opened her car door and escorted her to her front porch. Lucy dug in her purse, cursing quietly as she searched for her house keys. He coughed and looked down at her warily. “I love you, Luce. You know that, right?”

He mentally cursed. He hated the way he sounded. So afraid. So… helpless. 

Lucy paused her wrangling to look up at him. She gave him a small, but genuine, smile. She stood on her tiptoes to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. 

“I know. And I love you too.”

—

Schroeder laughed at something Pigpen had said. The rest of the table bursted out in laughter alongside him. Charlie Brown stopped laughing with a cough. His friend elbowed him and pointed to something behind. Schroeder turned 180, the smile on his face disappearing at the sight of Lucy’s distraught face. Her face was as white as a sheet. She sat down beside him with an unmajestic slouch and he immediately went to console her.

He leaned in, trying to cover her from view. Luckily, Charlie Brown redirected the table’s curious stares away from them. Schroeder squeezed her hands, bringing them into his lap. Whispering, he asked, “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

Lucy blinked up at him, her eyes wide like she'd seen a ghost. “My mom just called the front office.” Her voice is airy as she confesses, but it wasn’t at all what Schroeder was expecting. “She received a letter from Stanford. I got in.”

Schroeder’s face lit up. His hands went to her shoulders. He sputtered in disbelief, “Wow. Stanford? Really? That’s… amazing, Luce! That’s like—what—the third one on your list?” Lucy nodded slowly. That means, her top schools, and then some, were readily accepting her. She had her pick of the litter.

“And,” she added softly, “they offered me a scholarship. A full ride.”

Schroeder blinked at her. A full ride. That was a better offer than what the other schools had offered her combined.  

He could imagine Mrs. van Pelt’s excitement upon opening that letter, so excited that she couldn’t resist calling the school on Lucy’s behalf. That was understandable. What he couldn’t understand was why Lucy didn’t look half as excited.

He frowned and cupped her cheek. “That’s great news, Luce. But why don’t you look happy?” Lucy shrugged his hand away.

“I am happy,” she responds in a firm tone, not elaborating any further. Schroeder opens his mouth in protest, but she shoots down any possibility of pestering with a single look. The message she wants to tell him is written all over her face: Don’t. He shrinks back with pursed lips.

“Alright, alright. I won’t pry.  Let’s just eat lunch, yeah?”

—

Schroeder sat next to Lucy. It was his turn to sit with her friends at lunch today.

He placed a quick peck on Lucy’s cheek to which the recipient held no reaction. She poked at her salad, her head propped up in her hand. Her brows were tightly knit and the corners of her mouth were turned downward so deeply, it was nearly 90 degrees. 

What got her so crabby today? And before noon?

Schroeder frowned and glanced over at Violet and Patty sitting across from him. He silently mouthed, “What happened?” The two girls shrugged, not quite sure what was wrong with their friend themselves.

He looked to Franklin who sat just a few seats down. Like some sort of sixth sense, his friend’s head darts in his direction in alarm. Schroeder gestures to Lucy with his eyes, a glint of urgent pleading behind his gaze. What do I do?

Franklin’s eyes flickered from Schroeder, to the grumpy Lucy, then back to Schroeder. His mouth formed an “o” in understanding. He then coughed inconspicuously before wrapping an arm around the shoulders of the cheerleader beside him. The girl, who was once just eating her lunch with a straight face, immediately perked up, giggling and leaning into Franklin. The boy winked at Schroeder in silent encouragement.

Schroeder took his friend’s advice and mimicked the motion, placing an arm around Lucy’s shoulders. Whatever trance her mood placed her in breaks when their bodies meet. Lucy glances up at Schroeder with confused, rapidly blinking eyes. 

“What are you doing?”

Schroeder shrugged. “I wanna know why you’re stabbing your lettuce like it just committed a crime?” 

Lucy looks at her salad with distaste, noticing the holes that ravaged her food. She drops her fork and groans while she rubs circles into her temples. In this angle, Schroeder could clearly see the dark circles that had embedded themselves underneath her eyes. There was only a month of high school left. There were no more big entrance exams, no more college applications to be sent out. This was certainly the work of whatever’s been on her mind; not only did it keep Lucy distant from him, but had also stolen away some much needed sleep. 

Schroeder sighed before asking once more, “What’s the matter, Luce? When will you finally tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours?”

She squeezed her eyes shut with a huff. She turned away from him, gesturing for him to stop. “Please, Schroeder, not now,” she implored with a sense of exhaustion. 

His nostrils flared with a sense of impatience. He had given her a week. A week of space and strained silence. That was plenty of time, right? Schroeder would not have it. Not this time. How long would she have him in the dark when she was obviously pained every time they spoke? When, whatever it was, left her visibly unhealthy and made their relationship a paler version of what it once was just barely two weeks ago?

“Lucy,” his voice was firm, unyielding. He placed a comforting hand on her back. “If you just told me what was bothering you, maybe I could-”

Lucy slammed a fist onto the table, causing Schroeder and those nearby to jump, startled by her sudden action. The table fell into a tense silence as they warily eyed Schroeder and Lucy. 

Schroeder gulped and slowly retracted his hand. He had done it now. 

Lucy’s eyes cracked open. The ferocity he expected to see within them was long extinguished by a blanket of pure exhaustion. She sighed and stood up from the table, flinging her backpack over one shoulder. Schroeder reached out to her.

“Lucy, I-”

She put a hand up without looking in his direction. “Time, Schroeder. I need more time to think.” With that, Lucy darted out of the cafeteria and in the direction of the library. Schroeder gasped as her fast escape blew a whiff of her sweet smell in his direction, a smell that he’d forgotten from their days apart. It nearly made him chase after her.

Time, Schroeder.

He forced himself to stay planted in his seat, his arm lowering to his side. He sighed heavily. He messed up. Lucy’s empty seat beside him was filled by Franklin. His arm flanked his sagging shoulders. Schroeder stared at his friend with a frown.

“Did I do something wrong, Frankie?” His friend gave him a sad smile and patted his back in solidarity.

“No, man. Girls are just like that. Once they have their mind set on something, there’s no use trying to change it. It’s a one-way ticket for a lover’s quarrel if you do.” Schroeder nodded, not too convinced. He and Lucy were always able to talk things through before. What changed? Franklin noticed the resigned look in his eye and sighed before giving him a hard slap on the back. “Best you can do is give her space. Lucy will come to you when she’s ready.”

Those words again: When she was ready. Just when would that be?

—

Schroeder had his eyes closed as he played. 

In the midst of him giving Lucy the space she desired, he had found an excess amount of time to play the piano. He supposed that that was at least one good thing that came out of this whole ordeal. 

When was the last time he played for longer than an hour? Two weeks ago with his tutor? He grimaced but continued playing. That was far too long. He could feel the effects of the lack of practice. His stiff fingers that refused to bend or stretch. Simple mistakes or playing off beat. How could he have let himself get this rusty? He needed to be at his utmost best when he arrived at Juilliard in the fall.

Plink. A missed note. Schroeder sighed and opened his eyes. All this missed practice and he still couldn’t get Lucy off his mind. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss Lucy. He missed his girlfriend severely. That night they shared at the beach felt like a fever dream with how distant they had grown. They couldn’t even talk normally anymore. They saw each other everyday, but it was as if she wasn’t there at all.

He just hoped that whatever was on her mind, that she would talk to him about it soon. He wanted to spend this last month of them living in the same city—nevermind only a street away—to the fullest. 

Schroeder’s prayers were answered exceptionally quickly, expedited and shipped straight to the Lord himself. Lucy marches into the music room, her eyes shining with clarity. 

Could it be? He sits up on the piano bench, back rigid. 

“Lucy,” he gasped, not expecting her there, “I didn’t hear the doorbell- Mmf.”

She crosses the room in the blink of an eye. She slides in beside him and practically slams her lips onto his. Their teeth clash painfully but Schroeder doesn’t mind. 

Yes. Oh, yes. He had missed this.

He practically melts into Lucy, scrambling to straddle the bench so that his girlfriend could sit on his lap. From the curve of her neck to the dips of her waist, his hands frantically roam the expanse of her body like they had forgotten the feel of it. He inhaled deeply and appreciated the sweet smell of lilies that coated the inside of his nostrils. He bit back a moan as Lucy wriggled on top of him.

Unfortunately though, the music room, just a room away from where his mother was making dinner, was not the best place to do what he wanted with his girlfriend. He pulled away, gripping onto Lucy’s shoulders to stop her as well. The sound of desperation that leaves her wet lips nearly makes him cave in.

Schroeder chuckled, out of breath, and nestled his head into the crook of her neck. He inhaled her scent again, keeping it bottled inside his lungs for as long as humanly possible before letting it go with a happy sigh. He wrapped his arms around her waist, securing her in place, before peppered tiny kisses along her neck, causing Lucy to giggle and gently push him away.

“Stoppp~ That tickles!” He stopped his affectionate assault with a final kiss to the racing pulse at the center of her throat. He glanced up at her with a crooked, love-stricken smile. Her lipstick was smeared and probably all over his own lips.

“Aren’t you a lovely surprise? What was that all about? Not that I didn’t like it, I mean.” Actually, he was ready to do it all again but in the privacy of his bedroom. Lucy grinned, slid off his lap, and grasped his hands. 

“I’ve been thinking-” Schroeder rolled his eyes playfully.

“Oh, I know-”

“Oh hush,” she scolded lightly, swatting his arm. She cleared her throat. “Anyways, I’ve been thinking. About college. About us.” She gestured between the two of them. Schroeder’s brows furrowed. The college part was obvious—that was clear with her reaction to getting accepted into Stanford, but what about them was she also thinking about?

Pros: Schro-

He swiped the thought out of his mind before it could fully form. No. That’s not what this was about. Lucy hated NYU. She wouldn’t- She couldn’t.

Schroeder sat up a little straighter, chuckling nervously. “Alright. I’m listening.” His pounding heart was deafening.

“I’ve decided what college I’m going to.” Lucy sighed and shifted slightly. The anticipation was killing him. Finally she announced with a smile, “I’m going to NYU.”

Schroeder’s heart skipped a beat—no—it stopped beating. He didn’t dare breathe because breathing meant this was real. And what Lucy just said wasn’t real. Right? No, he must have heard wrong. Yes, that’s what’s happening. 

He blinked blankly as his smile fell. “What?”

Lucy squeezed his hands tightly, telling him that this was, in fact, very real. “You heard me, silly. I’m going to NYU. Isn’t that great! We’ll be in the same city!”

Suddenly, he’s back underneath that oak tree with Charlie Brown all those months ago. Back when he was still holding out his feelings for her.

I’m doing this for her. What if she has plans after graduation? What if she changes those plans because of me?

Well, Lucy did have plans. Big ones. Big, beautiful, attainable dreams of becoming a doctor. She had her choice of schools and now she was picking at the bottom of the barrel because of him. Just as he feared from the beginning.

This can’t be happening. How could he let this happen?

He should have never let it get this far. He should have confronted her about her list of colleges. He should have made sure she never submitted that application to NYU. He should have made her get off that plane, convinced her that it wasn’t worth the travel. 

Maybe they should have never dated so far into their senior year.

Schroeder slipped his hands away from hers. He shot up from the piano bench, anxiety coursing through his veins. The quickness in which he stood up made him dizzy. White was all he could see for several seconds. Maybe he actually died from the shock. His vision returns and he finds himself hunched over the lid of his piano, his hands gripping the sides. 

Lucy is immediately at his side, a gentle hand on his back. Worried eyes stared back at him. “Sweetie? Are you okay? What-”

“I don’t understand,” he cuts her off, his tone sharp. Lucy flinched when he shrugged her hand off of him like it was burning him. He stood, pushing off of the piano. He looked at her, his eyes pleading with one final flicker of hope. “You- But you don’t even like NYU.”

Lucy looks taken aback, her arms retracting to her chest defensively. Her mouth opens and closes as she thinks of something to say.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about. I do like NYU.”

Schroeder pointed a finger at her, a gesture he’s never done to her before. She gasps, holding her arms to her chest as if he was physically hurting her. “Don’t lie to me, Lucy. I saw your journal, the one where you kept that list of yours. And I saw what you wrote about NYU.” He scoffed and shook his head. “Or the lack thereof.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. She pointed an identical finger in his direction. “You read my journal? I knew I was missing a page. You had no right!”

So she wasn’t even going to try to hide it. Good. That means there would be less dancing around the subject, something he’s been doing for the past couple of months. 

Schroeder laughed harshly and threw his arms up in mock defense. “Guilty. But I’m glad I did. How else would I have known that the only reason why you considered NYU was because of me?”  

Lucy turned red in the face. She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Fine! You caught me! You are the only reason I considered it! Is that so bad?” A confession.

He turned to her, his face a matching shade of red. “Oh my god. Yes, Lucy! That is a terrible reason to decide what college to go to!” 

She stomped over to him and pushed him harshly on the shoulders, causing him to stumble back into his piano. He caught himself before he got hurt. 

Lucy was indifferent to her cruelty. She didn’t give him time to recover as she got in his face, jabbing a finger into his heaving chest. 

“Well, I’m sorry for considering our relationship!” She exclaimed, not sounding sorry at all. Tears of anger streamed down her face, melting her mascara. She hiccuped, “I- I thought you would be happy! Wouldn’t you like it if we went to college in the same city?” 

Schroeder ran a frustrated hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. He absentmindedly paced back and forth, the repetitive motion being the only thing keeping him sane right now. “Of course I would like it. More than anything. But I also would have been happy if there was literally any other reason.” 

Pros: Schroeder

Lucy waved her arms in thought. “Okay. Well- New York is really nice! There’s lots of things to do. They have good pizza-” Schroeder chuckled.

“Lucy, I’m not letting you choose NYU just because you liked a slice of pizza-” 

She stomped her foot. “And what if I said I just wanted to attend NYU off a whim? Huh? Who are you to dictate what college I go to, Schroeder?!”

Who was he to decide?

Schroeder stopped pacing. The answer stared him in the face. He only needed to take it.

Who am I to Lucy?

“Lucy,” he started off slowly, quietly. His voice is soft, a complete change from his previous yelling. The room fell to a deafening silence with Lucy’s ragged breathing the only sound filling it. Schroeder looked up at Lucy and his eyes softened at her disheveled appearance. 

“What.”

“You only want to go to NYU because of me, correct?”

“Well-” 

“It’s a yes or no question, Lucy.”

She pursed her lips together, her fists clenching at her sides. She nodded once.

“Yes.”

Schroeder leaned against his piano, his eyes not once leaving hers. “And why couldn’t we just do long distance?” Lucy scoffed and crossed her arms.

“We barely lasted a Christmas apart and we weren’t even dating yet. No, Schroeder. Long distance wouldn’t work. It usually never does.”

Schroeder sighed and closed his eyes. “No” to long distance. The final shred of hope he held dwindled away. The final petal on a wilting rose. 

He opened his eyes again, his eyes focusing and blurring on her figure every time he blinked away his tears. The warm droplets fell to his cheeks, slow at first before flowing consistently. Lucy’s face melted from anger into something that was a mixture of fear and realization. Her eyes widened as tears built back up again on her waterline. This was the first time Lucy had seen him cry.

“Schroeder?” Her voice was shaky. 

“I,” his voice cracked. He forced himself to swallow the burning sensation in his throat. “We should break up.” 

It takes a second for the words to register in Lucy’s mind. But once they do, she is vigorously shaking her head. She practically runs up to him, hugging him tightly while he whole body shakes. Schroeder lets her, but his arms remain pinned to his sides.

“N-no. You- you don’t mean that, Sweetie.” 

Schroeder bit his lip as a pained sob escaped his mouth. He wanted to hold her, cradle her and tell her things would work out. His body shook intensely as he forced himself to stay still. “I do. I mean it, Lucy.” 

Lucy patted his chest and looked at him with wide, black-streaked eyes. “Hey. C’mon, Schroeder. This- this is our first fight. We’re not going to like… talk this out or something?” 

Schroeder threw his head back, now staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t bear to look at her expression as he pried her clinging body off of him.

“I’m not going to let you go to a college you hate and, you said so yourself, long distance is out of the question.”

Lucy grabbed the sides of his head and forced him to look at her. Her eyes are frantic as she tries bargaining her way out of the decision Schroeder had already made. Stammering, she said, “I’ll grow to like NYU. A-and if I don’t, I’ll just transfer then. Y-yeah? How does that sound, Sweetie?”

His heart tightened painfully. Schroeder gave her a sad smile. “It’ll be hard transferring into schools like Harvard and Stanford, no? And even then, you’d lose your scholarship money.”

Lucy shook her head, a shaky smile on her lips. “Money isn’t a problem. My dad is loaded.” 

Schroeder placed his hands on top of hers, savoring the warmth of her hands on his face before tearing them off. “Luce… No.”

A broken sob wrangled itself out of Lucy’s mouth. She slammed her face into Schroeder’s chest. He could feel the wetness of her face through the thin fabric of his shirt. Her hands grabbed at his shirt—clawed at it—clinging onto him for dear life. He couldn’t stop himself then from wrapping his arms tightly around her small frame. His own silent cries leaked out of his eyes as he pressed a single kiss to the top of her head. He inhaled and knew that the smell of lilies—or any sort of flower—would never be the same again.

“I thought you loved me… You said you loved me.”

Schroeder forced himself to detangle from her. He leaned down to her level, not even trying to hide the fact that he was crying. He wanted her to know— to see —how much this pained him. That he was doing this for her, although she may not appreciate it now. That this was his final selfless act in a string of selfishness that he had grown to take for granted in these last months of highschool with her. 

“I do love you, Lucy.” That’s why I’m doing this.

He watched as Lucy’s face dropped, her expression into nothingness. She slowly retracted her hands from his. She stepped backwards, looking down at the floor. The silence now was suffocating, not even the sound of their labored breathing could be heard. They must have both been holding their breath.

“So… this is it then? We’re over? Just like that?” Her voice is devoid of emotion. No anger, no hatred, not even sadness coated her words. Schroeder didn’t know whether or not this was a better alternative to her screaming at him.

He swallowed harshly. “I’m sorry, Luce- Lucy.”

Lucy nodded. She grabbed her purse that she had thrown on the ground right before she had kissed him, unknowingly, for the last time. She didn’t even slam the front door as a furious lover would. There was just the faint click of the lock snapping back in place; she left just as silent as she had arrived. 

No goodbye. No farewell hug or kiss like in the movies. Just a nod.

The events of what just unfolded hit Schroeder all at once. He stumbled back into his piano bench, the legs screeching in protest against the hardwood floor. His mind replayed the look on Lucy’s face. And over and over again, her words taunted him:

I thought you loved me.

Schroeder hadn’t realized he started playing the piano until his fingers started to cramp, but he continued playing. He continued playing until he could no longer decipher the keys, the afternoon sun disappearing into a dark, moonless night. 

He played until exhaustion—beyond exhaustion . His tears had long dried, but every press of a key was a cry he did not let out.

—

Schroeder did not go to school for a week after his breakup with Lucy. Matter of fact, he rarely left the music room. The only times he left was to use the bathroom and only once to shower. Other than that, he slept on the unforgiving hardwood floor and ate his meals—when he could even stomach food—there too.

His parents were worried for him, to say the least. He wouldn’t tell them why he refused to go to school. Or why he stopped eating. Or why he stopped showering. Or why he rarely slept. And why he played the piano for hours on end until his joints locked in place. Around day three, Schroeder heard his mom whispering on the phone and his parents finally stopped bothering him, only leaving a plate of food on his piano that he probably would not eat. They must have found out that he and Lucy had broken up. 

If he had the energy, he might have thanked them for giving him the space he needed which was so unfortunately ironic.

On day six of his lockdown, Charlie Brown decided to do a house call. Well, his mother said his best friend was just there for a visit. But he was actually there to convince him to go to a party and Schroeder was not in the partying mood. Who would have guessed?

Schroeder groaned and flipped onto his other side, tossing his blanket over his head in a lame attempt to ward off his best friend. The floorboards creaked as his bones settled into a fetal position. He welcomed the cold feeling that pressed against his cheek and the hug of hot air that became trapped in the tent of his blanket. 

“Go away, Charlie Brown. I’m not going.” His voice is scratchy, hoarse, from days of being mute. He hated the sound of him because the last time he spoke, it had been with Lucy. He felt as though he shouldn’t have the luxury to talk, not after what he said. Cut off a liar’s tongue and they can never lie again.

The comforting warmth is torn away from him as his friend ripped the blanket off of him, tossing it to the other side of the room, far from reach. Charlie Brown squatted beside his horizontal body, resting his forearms on his thighs. His friend gave him a sad smile to which Schroeder returned with a cold glare and proceeded to turn away from him again.

“It’s the last party Patty is hosting before school ends. Don’t you want to go?”

Schroeder let out a disgruntled little huff. “Don’t care. Now leave me alone.”

Charlie Brown gave a tiny laugh before standing back up. Schroeder watched his friend’s shadow shove their hands into some jean pockets. “I know you don’t mean that-”

“Well, I do.” 

He knew he was being childish, cutting him off like that, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Charlie Brown’s shadow shrank away and Schroeder sighed thinking he finally left, but to his utter dismay, his friend had stayed. 

And was “playing” with his piano. The random set of keys he decided to slam his fingers on resulted in what could hardly be considered a chord. It was more so a collection of sharps and flats that together sounded like the musical equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. It was unethical. And when he continued this assault on his eardrums, it became clear that he was doing this on purpose.

Schroeder grit his teeth and covered his ears. “Quit it.”

Charlie Brown continued being a nuisance. He glanced over his shoulder to where Schroeder still laid on the floor, a small smirk playing on his lips. He shouted, “What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you!” 

This mother-

Schroeder rolled his eyes, knowing he was getting played. Still, he got up. He stormed over to where his friend sat on the piano bench, treating his poor piano like a cheap children’s toy, all while still clutching the sides of his head. A simple flick of his wrist and the fallboard came crashing down over the keys; Charlie Brown barely dodged the attack. He didn’t seem to mind at all though as he stared up at Schroeder with a smug smile.

“Wow. I almost forgot how tall you were. Though you did lose some weight-”

Schroeder cut him off, pointing a stiff arm towards the music room door. “Get out of my house, Charlie Brown. I don’t want to see anyone, nevermind go to a party,” he seethed. He winced as a sharp pain bloomed in his skull. This whole ordeal was draining the little energy his body had in store and now that awful playing had given him a headache.

Charlie Brown slid over and guided him to sit down at the bench beside him. He shoved the cup of water that his mom left on his piano earlier that day into his hands, tipping the rim into his mouth. Schroeder gulped down the entire glass, the water instantly soothing his scratchy throat. Some water escaped his lips and dribbled down his chin. His friend stared at him incredulously.

“Damn. Was this your first drink of water this week or something?” 

Schroeder gasped for air, coughing a little. He wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve. “Of course not, you blockhead. Talking to you just tires me out.”

The two stare at each other, face empty of emotion, before breaking into laughter. They double over, clenching their stomachs. This was the first time in a week that Schroeder had cracked a smile. Fresh tears coated his eyelashes but for once it wasn’t out of sadness. He supposed if anyone could do it with the state he was in, it would be Charlie Brown.

Their laughter mellows out into content sighs. He glanced over at his friend and found him already staring, a patient smile on his face. He contemplated his offer, rolling the thought over in his mind. This was the last party Peppermint Patty would be hosting. He wasn’t an avid party-goer like Charlie and the others, but he felt like he would be missing out if he didn’t go. He also definitely wasn’t over what happened with Lucy. He wouldn’t be okay for a while, but rotting away in this room couldn’t continue on for much longer. And maybe —who knows—he might actually enjoy himself.

He also had a feeling that Charlie Brown wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

Schroeder sighed and shrugged. “So… You said something about a party?”

The toothy grin that enveloped his friend’s face was similar to one of a Cheshire Cat. “Thought you might change your mind.” He shot up like a spring, pushing Schroeder in front of him. He kept pushing until they were out of the confines of the music room but abruptly stopped before they reached the front door. He spun around with his nose scrunched up so high that it was between his eyes. He looked Schroeder up and down before leaning in to sniff his shirt before immediately pulling away with unfiltered disgust. 

“Speaking of change… you could use a change of clothes.” He leaned in to take another whiff—inhaling deeper this time—and gagged as a result, pinching his nose. His voice nasally, he adds, “And probably a shower.”

Schroeder frowned and sheepishly smelled himself. His eyes watered. Oh Lord Jesus- He really did need a shower. Charlie, already familiar with his house, pulled Schroeder up the stairs and shoved him into the bathroom, slamming the door close behind him like he was contaminated with an unknown disease. 

On the other side of the door, his friend shouted, “Wash that stink off of you! Meanwhile, I’ll find something for you to wear!” Once his footsteps faded, presumably into his bedroom to raid his closet, Schroeder sighed and turned on the faucet. He stepped into the warm shower, the setting hotter than normal in an effort to melt away days of sweat and grime. It works like a charm and it’s as if he wasn’t spending the past week mourning the end of his first love.

Lucy.

In the shower, there were no distractions. No keys to fidget with. No new pieces to memorize. No. It was just him, the sound of water, and the memory of Lucy.

Water from a different source leaked from his eyes, merging with the one that pelted him. 

Oh, Lucy…

Schroeder’s heart clenched as his hands did the same, grasping for something to hold him steady. The tile wall was slick and cold underneath his palms. He looked down at his feet and watched, entranced, as streams of water fell from pointed sections of his blonde hair. 

The dog tag around his neck dangled like a sick reminder. It hurt to look at, but he couldn’t bear to take it off. The glint of their engraved initials flashed before his eyes. His tears eventually blurred his vision. He bit back a choked sob, smothering his mouth with one hand.

Fuck. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t do this. The pain was too much. Too fresh. This hole in his chest was a hole too big to fill with parties, alcohol, and his piano. 

Was he doomed to live this way? Would it always be like this without her? This had to be his punishment for hurting her. If so, he embraced this divine reckoning with open arms. Afterall, this was his fault.

His lip stopped quivering. His flat palms formed tight fists. Slowly, he raised his head from the floor and pointed it to the shower’s rainfall. 

He would do this, not because he could or wanted to, but because there was nowhere else to go. This was the consequence of his own selfish actions. He felt his heart harden, constricting painfully before fading into dull throb, as he actively pushed those feelings away. 

He’d learn to live with himself knowing that Lucy wasn’t chained next to him.

A knock. “Schroeder? You finished yet?” Schroeder turned the shower off.

“Yeah. I’m done.”

He dried himself and stepped out of the bathtub. He cracked the bathroom door wide enough for Charlie Brown to slip him some fresh clothes. He gingerly accepted them and got dressed. If you asked him what he was wearing, he wouldn’t know either. He didn’t care. Clothes were just clothes.

Charlie is leaning against the wall outside his bathroom when Schroeder finally steps out, clean and clean-shaven. He points to his sopping wet hair with a click of his tongue. “I guess that’ll dry somewhat if I drive with the windows down. Oh well, let’s go before that duo finishes all the booze.” 

Schroeder nods absentmindedly and lets his friend drag him out of his house and into the passenger seat of his dingy car. He turns on the radio and doesn’t immediately go to blast it, keeping the sound at a reasonable volume. Why? He’ll soon find out. 

Charlie Brown coughs dramatically. “I heard what happened from Sally.” Ah, so that’s what this is about. “Why you broke up with Lu-” he paused to correct himself, “-with her.”

Schroeder rolled his eyes and looked out the open window. The moving wind was cold as it flowed past the wet roots of his hair and scalp. 

“You can say her name, Charlie. I’m not going to break down crying from the mention of her name.” He felt a fire accumulate hotly in his throat while he spoke. That was a lie. He could cry right now just thinking about her.

“Right,” his friend replied, sounding unsure as he not-so-discreetly glanced at him from the corner of his eye. Still, he continued, “You broke up with Lucy because she wanted to follow you to New York, right?” When Schroeder didn’t answer, Charlie Brown sighed and threw a hand up in exasperation. “I don’t get it, man. I thought you loved her. Why would you give her up like that? And for what?”

Schroeder shot him a dirty look. “I do love her. That’s why I broke up with her in the first place. I just think Linus forgot to mention the part where she hates NYU and that she has a full ride scholarship to Stanford,” he grumbled in the last part. 

Charlie Brown’s head snapped to the side, completely disregarding the road. He gave him a look like, How did you know it was Linus? Schroeder gave him a pointed look in return that said, Who else would have told your sister? On top of that, Schroeder hadn’t told anyone what happened in detail.

Charlie sighed heavily, his shoulders dropping low. The packed street belonging to Peppermint Patty’s house rolled into view. As they got out of the car, he subconsciously scanned the rows of vehicles and let out a sigh of relief when he did not spot either one of the van Pelt siblings’ cars.

As if reading his mind, Charlie said, “Lucy won’t be here. At least, I doubt it. From what I heard, she’s just about as bad as you.”

“She… she hasn’t been at school?” His friend's silence told him all that he needed to know. Schroeder’s stomach sank with guilt. She had not gone to school. That was his fault. He at least hoped that she was eating properly unlike him. He at least hoped that she was sleeping well unlike him. He desperately hoped that she had her own Charlie Brown to yank her from the darkness that he had selfishly pushed her in.

They push the front door open and enter the darkness of a Peppermint Patty party. The vast living room is only being lit by a massive disco ball. Maybe it was just his paranoia at play, but he felt as though his entrance attracted the gaze of many. Schroeder shrank away and tried to ignore the prickling feeling of eyes on his back. There was no way all these people knew of he and Lucy’s breakup. He sighed, ruffled his semi damp hair, and shook the tension off his shoulders.

Get a hold of yourself, Schroeder. No one is looking at you.

Muscle memory takes the two into the kitchen where, of course, Franklin and Marcie were parked in their usual spot. They glance up at them when they first enter and go back to their separate conversations before darting back to them, doing a double take upon seeing Schroeder. Franklin laughs in disbelief, slapping his forehead as he stumbles to greet him. Marcie quickly dropped the cups she was filling with alcohol.

Schroeder offered an awkward smile, barely lifting his hand from his side for a tiny wave. “Hey, guys.” 

“Schroeder,” the boy called his name in such a tender way that made his heart constrict, another wave of tears threatening to spill. He did not deserve to be called with such fondness. Hadn’t he heard of how he hurt Lucy? He was despicable.

Franklin could not hear his thoughts, so he met him with open arms, sealing his body in a tight embrace. His stomach churned uncomfortably.

I don’t deserve this.

Twisting the knife, Charlie Brown and Marcie joined them. At some point, Peppermint Patty had seen the scene and squeezed herself in too. Guilt tormented him, but Schroeder couldn’t help but smile too, glad to be with his friends. He greedily accepted and reciprocated their hug. The warmth of their bodies was comforting after spending days sleeping on the cold, hard floor.

Schroeder is the first to pull away from the group hug, not allowing himself to feel too good with himself. He offers a quiet, “It’s nice to see you all.” They’re all smiles. Marcie hands him a cup; Peppermint Patty grabs a second cup and pours its contents into the one he’s holding, doubling it; Charlie Brown tips the now full cup to Schroeder’s lips; Franklin is chanting, cheering, his name as he chugs.

The liquor burns his throat, fills his stomach with molten lava, and leaves his mouth with a bitter taste. He reflectively gags but forces the liquid down. He finishes the cup with a groan, already feeling the effects. His friends drag him to the cramped living room/dance floor.

With barely any food in his stomach and his friends continuously making sure his cup was never empty, Schroeder gets absolutely hammered. Shermy and Pigpen are no help either, daring him to take shots of straight tequila with them. He vaguely remembers accepting a cup Frieda had offered him too.

He was dizzy. Delirious. In his small capacity to think, he mused that he had never been this drunk before. Marcie finally spared him and cut him off for the remainder of the night after he stumbled into the bathroom to vomit. That didn’t matter though; it was already too late. The alcohol would stay in his system until the following afternoon.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s dancing to music he won’t remember the name of tomorrow. He’s singing songs he doesn’t know the lyrics to. He’s laughing at nothing but also everything. His friends are with him. The room is spinning. He doesn’t know what time it is and he could care less. For once, he did not think of Lucy.

At one point of the night, while he’s screaming for the DJ to play some ABBA, a sharp pain radiates on the side of his face. His head snaps to the side from the impact. There’s a scream, not his. He absentmindedly clutched his hurt cheek. Through the haze, his eyes manage to focus on a figure before him. Schroeder squinted at the person before muttering in disbelief, “Linus?”

As soon as the boy’s name leaves his mouth, heat blooms at the center of his face. He tastes something copper in his mouth. Blood. Schroeder sputters, clutching his face, as he stumbles backward. Linus does not give him time to recover, landing another jab on his jaw. Schroeder falls to the ground and a new pain resonates at the back of his skull when he collides with the floor.

The crowd in Patty’s living room parts like the Red Sea for the altercation.

The greaser is soon on top of him. Trained knuckles as hard as rocks crash repeatedly into Schroeder’s face. Pain makes him scream out at the same time he hears his nose crack. Linus just broke his nose. That doesn’t stop the rage boiling above him.

“You. Fuck. Ing. Dick,” Linus grits through clenched teeth in between punches. He stops hitting his face, but the beating is far from over. Schroeder can’t even gasp for air as the boy on top of him is aiming for his chest, stomach, and sides now. Wrecking his face apparently wasn’t enough. 

Linus paused and grabbed his shirt in his bloodied hands, yanking Schroeder’s battered face to his. Even with less than a foot between them, Schroeder could barely see his assaulter's fuming expression through the blood in his swelling eyes. 

“You break my sister’s heart and while she’s at home crying her eyes out—wasting away her final weeks of highschool—you’re out here partying! Fucking unbelievable! Don’t you have any shame?!” 

The image of Lucy in her bedroom, crying because of him, took over his mind. And shame did flare in his bruised chest. He sobered up at that moment. It proved that no amount of alcohol could make him forget her tear-stricken face.

Lucy…

Tears welled in Schroeder’s eyes. Linus was absolutely right. He had no right. It should be Lucy out here tonight, not him. She deserved to forget what he did to her, not him. What the hell was he doing here?

An apology formed at the tip of his tongue, but he could not make the words come out. Nothing he could say could earn him forgiveness. Nothing he could say could make Lucy feel better. There was nothing he could do to take back what he did.

The sight of Schroeder’s tears angers Linus. He raises his fist, ready to land another hit, but is wrangled off of him by two people—Charlie Brown and Franklin by the looks of it. Schroeder is assisted back to his feet by another two, Patty and Marcie. The two girls examined his face, their expressions tense with worry.

The two boys, on the other hand, are holding Linus back. With the fight that the greaser was giving them, Charlie and Franklin would have had no chance if they weren’t athletes.

Linus struggled between them. “Stay out of this, Charlie Brown!” Charlie winced as his stomach was met with an elbow. Amazingly, his grip did not falter. 

“Leave Schroeder alone, man. I was the one who forced him to come, okay? He didn’t want to leave his house either.”

Linus stopped fighting and looked Charlie in the eyes, malice still burning brightly behind his brown eyes. “So what? Are you saying that’s enough for me to forgive him?”

Charlie Brown sighed and shook his head softly. “No, but I do think you should stop before you put him in the hospital.” The one restrained glanced over at Schroeder. His eyes were practically swollen shut now. There was an itch on his lip where the thin skin had split. He clutched his broken nose as it profusely leaked bright red blood. 

Linus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Fine, fine. Let me go, I won’t do anything.” The duo looked at each other hesitantly. Linus huffed, cursed to himself, and put his hands up in the air. “See? Believe me now?” The two boys slowly and cautiously let him go. 

Linus didn’t make an attempt to approach Schroeder, but he made an effort to glare and point at him. “You’re still a dick, Beethoven. You don’t deserve her. You never did.” He spun around, turning to leave, but he paused midstride. Over his shoulder, he said, “I get why you did what you did… And a part of me wants to thank you for it. I just wish you had been more gentle with someone who loves as deeply as my sister.”

Linus van Pelt did not hold back, not his punches nor his words. But his words left Schroeder in more pain than any attack. 

Lucy loved him and he loved her. He realized then that he should have done something different. Let her down more gently instead of blowing up. Figure out a way to make long distance work. There must have been a way to make their relationship work if he had just tried a little harder, been selfish a little while longer. But he didn’t and now he was here with bruised skin, sore muscles, and a broken nose. 

And a broken heart.

He had disappointed Lucy in the midst of trying to save her. And worst of all, he lost her. For good this time. The thing that separated them wasn’t distance and lost time, but his own actions. 

A flashback of Homecoming night flooded his mind. It was so long ago, months before he made that first selfish act of asking her to be his girlfriend. He cradled Lucy in his arms and she let him get close. A tender promise—now a lie—taunted him, haunting him. 

I won’t ever hurt you like that again. I promise.

The water that piled high on his waterline finally broke through the dam. The tears burned as it seeped through his fresh cuts.

He was not just a dick like Linus said, but he was also a damn liar. 

His resume of ill deeds grew more distinguished.

Schroeder doesn’t know how the two girls did it, but they had carried him to the bathroom while the two boys escorted Lucy’s brother out. The bright lights hurt his eyes and he couldn’t even squint against them. Peppermint Patty disappeared briefly, muttering about finding the first aid kit, while Marcie cleaned the blood off his face with a warm towel. The rough material felt like rubbing carpet on his open wounds. Schroeder flinched but didn’t stop her. He deserved this.

Patty returns with the first aid kit and they patch his face up to the best of their ability in utter silence. They lift his shirt only to ensure that Linus didn’t break any ribs. In that regard, Schroeder was unscathed. Once they finished playing nurse and decided that a hospital was—thankfully—not necessary, they helped him up from the toilet seat they had him perched on.

He blearily pointed at his nose, swaying slightly. “Wha abou ma nose? I think it’s broken,” he slurred, the alcohol kicking back in once the adrenaline subsided. The girls glanced at each other the same way that Charlie and Franklin did earlier. They communicate telepathically, nodding before Peppermint Patty held him still by looping her arms under his armpits. She grunted as he limply hung there, practically deadweight, positioned like a scarecrow. Marcie inspected his nose. 

“Looks like it’s just dislocated, not broken at all. Thank God.” She placed her nimble fingers back on his fragile nose. Like a cartoon, her glasses glinted as her voice lowered to a sinister whisper, “Now, stay still while I pop it back in place.”

Alcohol back in full swing, the words didn’t register immediately. “Huh? Wha-” 

His scream shook the house.

The bathroom door swung open and the concerned faces of Charlie Brown, Franklin, Pigpen, Shermy, and Frieda were there in the hallway, waiting.

Patty sighed deeply and gently patted Schroeder’s back, an action she never did lightly. She smiled before announcing, “Good news: van Pelt didn’t beat him hard enough to send him to the hospital. Bad news is: he looks like shit and will continue to look like shit for a while.”

The gang nodded, seemingly pleased with the good news and disregarded the fact that he would stay looking like an emaciated raccoon for the next week or so. Pigpen punched his shoulder and Schroeder winced. The others shot him daggers and the boy muttered a quick apology before commenting.

“You took that beating like a real man, Schroeder. I mean, personally, I would have fought back, but you lasted longer than I thought.” 

Shermy chuckled and added, “Yeah, you were super cool. When I saw Linus absolutely pummeling you, I thought you’d eventually pass out.” 

I thought I was gonna pass out too. I kinda wish I had.

“Thanks, I guess,” Schroeder mumbled, not really caring whether he looked cool getting beat for breaking Lucy’s heart.

Charlie Brown pushed everyone else away as he slung Schroeder’s arm over his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go ahead and take our muscle man back home. Thanks for the party Patts.”

Schroeder’s other arm raised lamely in a weak wave. “Thanks, Patty. Thanks, Marcie.”

Charlie Brown drags him out the front door, down the street, and proceeds to shove him in the backseat. Schroeder immediately sprawled across the ripped leather seats. His aching body protested at the pressure, but his drunk mind couldn’t bother letting him sit upright.

Charlie Brown hopped into the driver’s seat. He adjusted his mirror so that it pointed at Schroeder in the back. Schroeder groaned when the car rattled to life and they drove away. His friend cursed.

“Shit. I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have forced you to come-”

“Issa fine,” Schroeder responded with a swiftness, waving his hand in the air floppily. He sighed and winced. Linus beat him good, even breathing hurt. “I deserved that.” He honestly wished that Linus would have done more damage. Suffering physical pain was the least he could do after what he’d done to his sister. “I’m sorry too. You had to leave the party early because of me.”

Charlie Brown laughed. Schroeder saw his friend’s eyes crinkle in delight through his pair swollen ones.

“Early? Whew. Man, you really are blitzed.” He chuckled again. “We were at the party for five hours. It’s 3 am now. I’d hardly call that ‘early.’ Well, technically, it’s early morning- but whatever. The party would be wrapping up in an hour or so anyways.”

Schroeder huffed quietly in the backseat. He laid face down, drool unwillingly spilling out the side of his mouth.

“Oh. That’s good then.”

Schroeder doesn’t recall the rest of their conversation, if they even had one with the state he was in. The next thing he knew was waking up in his own bed, the sun glaring harshly into what was left of his eyes. His parents were beyond upset, proceeding to scold him and worsening his mind-splitting headache. They didn’t ask for details, only that he was grounded until graduation.

Which was fine because there were no more parties and he had no girlfriend. There were no reasons to leave the house.

—

The remaining two weeks of high school dragged on slowly, seemingly endless. The first of those two weeks, he spent catching up on missed schoolwork—which wasn’t much considering that they were seniors about to graduate. What did suck tremendously with that first week was the soreness of his body and face. 

Changing for gym class was humiliating as his body was covered in a rainbow of bruises. Charlie Brown, who had his gym locker next to his, would steal glances when they changed. He never seemed to get used to the sight of his multicolored skin, always reacting with a grimace. The black eye he received during Christmas break paled in comparison.

School life outside of the locker room was no better. Unlike the boys in the locker room who pretended not to look, people in the hallways openly gawked at Schroeder’s mottled face. Some even went out of their way to ask him what had happened. He always told the truth: Linus van Pelt beat him for dumping his sister. He didn’t care if it tarnished his shiny reputation; it was only shiny in the first place because Lucy had polished it.

And every time he passed his assaulter in the halls, Schroeder would look at him. Here, look at my face. I hope it brings you some sort of peace. And he meant that genuinely. 

To his credit, Linus doesn’t once belittle, taunt, or humiliate him further. He wouldn’t even give into the satisfaction of smirking or sneering at Schroeder. No. The greaser only stared back, his face void and unfeeling. Schroeder was always the one to look away first.

At the start of week two, and the final week of senior year, Lucy van Pelt finally returned. Schroeder was aware of the fact before he actually saw her, thanks to Charlie Brown warning him via his own inside source, Sally. He was simultaneously relieved and filled with dread, relieved that she was feeling well enough to go back to school but dreaded at the prospect of having to see her again.

Still, Schroeder forced himself to get dressed that Monday morning. His body moved more smoothly, the bruises nearly fully healed. His eyes were almost there too and should be decent enough when it came time to walk across the graduation stage. He reached inside his closet and pulled out a random shirt and put it on. He ignored the cool metal that he still refused to remove. His eyes met his own in the mirror before drifting down to the striped purple shirt that draped over him loosely. 

Your favorite color is… purple! Did I get it right? Hah! I knew it! It’s because of that purple sweater you always wear!

Schroeder blanched. He ripped the color off of him, tossing the article of clothing back into his closet, and put on a new one. This shirt was a dark green, far from the color purple. For good measure, he put on a black zip-up.

When he got to school, he looked to Linus’ usual parking spot and found his muscle car already there. Realization kicked in. He would see Lucy today. His stomach dropped, his palms grew sweaty. Schroeder gulped and rubbed his face tiredly, wincing when he snubbed his nose the wrong way. He put his car into park and slammed his hands on the steering wheel. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes to rest his head on the wheel as well. 

The last time he saw Lucy, her face was wet with tears as she begged him to not give up. His mind raced with possibilities. How would she look today? Would she look just as distraught? How would she react upon seeing him? Would she cry? Would she yell at him? Maybe she might decide to do the job herself and give him another beating? He wouldn’t stop her if she did.

There was a knock on his window. He raised his head slowly and met the eyes of Charlie Brown peering through the glass. His friend gave him a sheepish smile and a tiny wave. Schroeder gestured for him to give him a second, grabbing his backpack from the passenger seat and taking the keys out of the ignition before stepping out of the car.

“Saw you pull in a few minutes ago but didn’t get out.” His friend patted him on the back and shot him a smile, sympathy hid beneath the friendly gesture. Schroeder hated it. He didn’t deserve his sympathy or anyone else’s. This was his fault. “Ready to go in?” Are you ready to see your ex?

Schroeder gave him a nonchalant shrug before nodding. “Yeah, I guess.” No, not really. But he was grateful that he, at the very least, wouldn’t have to go inside alone. It made the thought of facing Lucy a little more bearable.

As soon as they entered the building, eyes were on them—on Schroeder. And it wasn’t the work of paranoia this time around. People were actually staring at him. They side-eyed him and whispered. Schroeder shrank away and pulled the hood over his head, in hopes that it could shield him from the heat of their gaze.

Being the center of small-town gossip sucked major league balls.

Charlie Brown slings an arm around him in solidarity, pulling him close. They skip going to their lockers and head straight for homeroom. Aside from receiving a disdainful look from Lucy’s friends, Violet and Patty, he didn’t get too much attention from his classmates; they were all aware of what happened with his relationship. And why.  

He looked towards Lucy’s desk. She wasn’t here yet. Schroeder plopped down at his desk and sighed. He swiped off the hood, musing his hair a bit, and stared up at his friend. He mustered up a smile. “Thanks, Charlie.”

His friend didn’t verbally respond. He grinned and placed a proud hand on his hip. He gave him a solid pat on the shoulder before taking his seat behind him. You’re welcome.

The bell rings and the teacher stands from behind the desk. One desk remained empty. Schroeder starts to doubt that Lucy would show but then, she finally walks in.

Schroeder’s breath catches in his throat. 

The first thing he notices is how her hair is neatly tied up in a ponytail. She’s wearing a dark blue and black, gingham pattern dress that stops right above her knees. The collar of a black button up shirt peeks out at the round neckline of her dress. Despite the weather, she has on navy blue stockings, tying the whole preppy outfit together. 

Lucy looks… like Lucy.

Meaning, she looked like herself. One look at her and you would not believe that she spent the last couple of weeks locked in her room as Linus had claimed. 

But upon closer inspection, he noticed that there was a marginal amount of space between her collar and her neck. Her cheekbones were more prominent and her elbows protruded abnormally as she clutched her textbooks to her chest. She lost weight. 

Schroeder wanted to get on his knees and apologize to her right then and there. Apologizing wouldn’t make her magically gain weight though.

So, Schroeder just watched with bated breath as she took her seat. Lucy van Pelt did not once look in his direction.

He glanced down to her left hand. She wasn’t wearing the ring.

As class droned on, he found himself stealing glances from time to time, but every time he was met with a cold shoulder. He supposed that they were long past flirty gazes and note passing.

People talked as they normally do. Lucy van Pelt moved on rather quickly, don’t you think? That Schroeder guy looks like he wasn’t over her yet. How sad, I thought they were a cute couple. 

Schroeder didn’t get involved, not because he didn’t want to, but because it was over before any of it reached his ears. That was thanks to Linus’ speedy intervention.

Linus van Pelt wouldn’t let anyone speak badly of his sister. There was a guy, a cocky sophomore on the football team, who bragged—lied obviously—about how Lucy van Pelt ran to him for comfort. Safe to say, the guy’s jaw was wired shut after someone sent him to the hospital; the guy didn’t snitch but everyone knew. No one dared speak about Lucy in such a way again. 

Then, there was a new whisper going around instead, ones of awe and admiration. Lucy van Pelt was to attend Stanford. Biology major. Fully paid. 

This filled Schroeder’s chest with a mighty hope. Their breakup didn’t happen in vain. Lucy would go to a great school and achieve her dreams. Those teary-eyed hopes of becoming a doctor were right there if she only reached for them. 

That’s where his happiness ended. Because for the first four days of the last week of school, Lucy treated Schroeder as if he didn’t exist. 

She was civil in this breakup, almost business-like with it. She did not talk behind his back, given the way the whispers about their relationship started to die among the nosy underclassmen. She also did not force her friends to choose sides in a war that was not theirs, seemingly unperturbed when she spotted Franklin or Peppermint Patty greet him lovingly. 

In the halls when he passed by her locker—which was largely unavoidable due to where his classes were—he’d steal a wistful glance. Or two. 

The side of her face became a vision he’d look forward to. In class, it was only her back that he could see.

More often than not, Linus would be at her locker too. Schroeder would hear her laugh at something her brother said, and his heart would temporarily warm at the trilly sound. A sound he’d probably never evoke from her lips again.

Linus would catch his longful stares before his sister did and dutifully blocked his view of her, positioning himself so that his body covered Lucy’s face and upper body. 

You don’t deserve her.

The vision of her back would have to be sufficient. 

Schroeder and Lucy were sitting only a few desks apart, yet they were worlds away.

On the fifth and final day of school, Lucy did acknowledge him.

Homeroom was chaotic as students exchanged their yearbooks for others to sign. Most of Schroeder’s friends had already signed his yearbook. He smiled happily as he read their notes, some goofy, some sincere.

To my best friend,

Isn’t it weird to think that this is the last year we’ll be signing each other’s yearbooks? It’s crazy how fast time flies. I remember the days where our biggest worries were winning our baseball games against Patts. I guess having our weekend games will be a little harder now that we’re all going away. Anyways, I won’t be too much of a sap since I know we’ll keep in touch (I’ll make sure of it because you suck at calling first).

Your brother,

C.B.

Piano man,

I know I’m the last to join the bunch, but I can’t even remember my life before I moved here. I’ll miss you lots, my musical friend. 

Salutations,

Frankie

(P.S. I WILL BE CALLING YOU. YOU BETTER PICK UP.)

Dear Schroeder,

You are an incredibly talented pianist and I have no doubt you’ll find success in the Big Apple. I do hope we keep in touch, but I’m sure Charles and Sir will ensure that already.

Sincerely,

Marcie

Schroeder rolled his eyes upon reading Shermy and Pigpen’s note:

Remember me when you’re famous! ~ Shermy

Pigpen was here before Schroeder made it big!

He’s rereading his friends’ notes just as Frieda popped out from over his shoulder. Schroeder jumps, startled from her sudden and close appearance. He clutched a hand to his chest.

“Jesus, Frieda-”

“Hi, Schroeder~ Mind if we exchange yearbooks too?” Before he can respond, the redhead snatches his book and shoves her own into his hands. Schroeder shrugs. He was used to Frieda’s pushy behavior by now. Plus, he was planning on saying yes anyways. They weren’t exactly friends—far from it actually—but they still grew up together. That’s something that Schroeder would never be able to change.

“Yeah, sure.” Schroeder bends over the closest desk and flips open to the first page of her yearbook only to find it already full of signatures and heartfelt letters from her abundant number of friends, seniors and underclassmen included. He instead goes to sign the back of her yearbook which isn’t as cramped. He writes a simple “Have a good summer and good luck in college” with his name following it.

“Here you-”

He turns back to Frieda, about to return her yearbook, when she brings his yearbook to her face. He hears the sound of her puckering her lips, pulling away after a long muah. Schroeder is dumbfounded when the girl finally hands back his yearbook, her name signed in extravagant cursive at the center of where her bottom lip was pressed. Frieda shoots him a sickly sweet smile.

“Just so you never forget me,” she says in a low voice, winking before strutting away. Schroeder doesn’t even have time to respond, or more so react, as Peppermint Patty whisks him away. 

She lets out an amused chuckle and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. “Done flirting with Frieda yet, you sly dog? I’ve been waiting to sign your yearbook.” Schroeder flushes and rolls his eyes. 

“Oh shut it. You know I’m not into Frieda.” He wasn’t even over Lucy, but he didn’t say that out loud. 

He snuck a glance over to where Lucy was. She didn’t even need to stand up and ask people to sign her yearbook; they were lining up at her desk. Charlie Brown leaned against her desk and passed her his yearbook. He said something and Lucy laughed loudly, throwing her head back, while Charlie grinned, teeth and all. 

He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. 

Schroeder shook his head and brought his attention back to Peppermint Patty. He extended his arms, one holding his yearbook and the other empty for hers. He sighed. “Well, give it here.” 

In Patty’s yearbook, he wrote something a bit more personal than what he did for Frieda’s. It went along the lines of: “You’re a good friend” and “I’ll miss you,” amongst other things. They finish writing about the same time. Peppermint Patty handed Schroeder back his yearbook with a satisfied huff. Her note read:

Schroeder,

Why does your fancy music school have to be alllllll the way in NYC??? You AND Marcie are leaving me!! Why couldn’t you two just be normal and go to college in-state like the rest of us :( JKJK (kinda). I’ll miss bugging you, like seriously.

Smell ya later,

Patty

(P.S. Sorry about giving you a concussion that one time… I forgot that I never properly apologized. Forgive me!)

Schroeder grinned and gave the girl a hug. Patty lets out a surprised squeal and pushes him away almost immediately. Her tanned, freckled face is red from embarrassment. She awkwardly coughs into a closed fist before waving him off.

“Alright,” she grumbled, “Don’t be all weird about it. It’s not like this will be the last time we see each other.”

Schroeder smiled and nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you and everyone else at graduation.” The girl gasped, offended, and roughly wacked his upper arm.

“And after graduation, you blockhead. I have your number and your dorm address, remember? You’re not getting away from us that easily, Schroeder.” 

Oh yeah.

Schroeder chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. He forgot that he had given out the mailing address of where he was dorming too. Whether it was by phone or by mail, his friends knew how and where to get a hold of him. The thought warmed him. He felt so lonely after he and Lucy’s rough breakup, but his friends were quick to remind him that he was never truly alone.

Speaking of-

Schroeder dared another glance at Lucy. Charlie Brown had left her desk and was now speaking with Heather. Lucy was now accompanied by Patty and Violet, the two cheerleaders flanking her sides.

Peppermint Patty caught him staring and lightly elbowed him. Schroeder’s head whipped to the side and his eyes widened at the girl’s sad smile. It was a rare look coming from Patts who’s usually all goofy smiles and rowdy antics.

“Go talk to her.” Schroeder’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly. His eyes alternated back and forth towards Peppermint Patty and the back of the girl he still painfully loved. He wanted to talk to her. He’s been wanting to, but he couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to say. Not after how they left it off. He looked panicked as he stared back at his friend.

“I can’t. I mean- How do I even-” Patty cut him off by slinging herself onto his shoulder, her side pressing into his back.

“Don’t be a wuss. Just be casual, ask her to sign your yearbook like everyone else. Or are you okay with graduating without having spoken to her once?” Schroeder gulped. He was not okay with that. But the real question was, how would Lucy feel about it?

He must have asked it out loud because Patty ruffles his hair before roughly pushing him forward. 

“You won’t ever know unless you try.”

Try. He should at least try to talk to Lucy. If she ignores him—well—Patty was right, at least he tried.

Schroeder’s heart was pounding as he walked over to where she sat. She was freely chatting with her friends; he could hear her sweet laughter. As he passed her left, she noticed him. The wide, easy-going smile fell off her face. She stared up at him with big beady eyes. 

Schroeder gulped. Had he made the right decision? Lucy didn’t look all too happy to see him. Why would she?

But as he looked into those unfeeling eyes, he felt his heart skip a beat. It had been so long since she had looked at him that, even if it wasn’t in the same loving way, Schroeder was hit with a wave of desperate relief. He was sure that he wouldn’t see those eyes ever again.

He would be selfish just one more time. Let me look at you one more time.

“Lucy… I-” Before he can finish, her friends stand in front of him defensively. Patty and Violet were quick to her rescue, standing shoulder-to-shoulder, shielding Lucy from Schroeder’s gaze just as Linus did at her locker. The cheerleaders crossed their arms and glared at him through narrowed eyes. 

“You got some nerve, Schroeder.”

“Haven’t you said enough to her?”

Schroeder’s mouth opened and closed, trying to defend himself against the two. “I- Uh- I just…” He stammered awkwardly, tightening his grip around his yearbook. This was humiliating as it was humbling. He was a downright fool. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why would he assume that Lucy would sign his yearbook? Even something as mundane as that, she didn’t owe him anything.

He’s about to leave, resigned as he admits defeat, when he hears a sigh from behind the wall. 

“It’s fine, girls. Lemme hear what he has to say.” Patty and Violet weren't pleased, huffing and scoffing as they reluctantly moved to the side. And there she was again. Head full of black hair, fluttering eyelashes, and warm, chocolate brown eyes. It was like seeing her for the first time. Except, this was her curtain call, the final bow out before they parted from each others’ lives once again.

She waved her friends away, leaving them alone. The warmth in her eyes left as well, turning them hollow. She tilted her head to the side in a curious manner. “What is it, Schroeder?”

Schroeder was met with indifference. No witty insult. No passive aggressive words. He grew nervous under her gaze. 

“Um- I…” His uncertainty caused something to flicker beneath her eyes, but it disappeared before Schroeder could decipher it. He coughed, forcing his nerves to still, sliding his yearbook across her desk towards her. “Will… will you sign my yearbook?”

Lucy stared at the book in… disappointment? She quickly masked it with an amused chuckle. “Oh. Is that all?” There was a hint of disbelief in her tone. A message lingered in the air. You don’t have anything else to say to me?

This was his chance. She was offering him an opening. Schroeder rolled the possibility in his mind. He didn’t actually think this far. What should I say? Do I ask her to come back to me?

Then, there was that look in her eye. Hope. It was a dangerous, dangerous look. His heart dropped into his stomach. Schroeder knew what he had to do. Again.

I’m sorry, Lucy.

“Yes,” he said after a deep breath. He gave her a resigned smile. “That’s all, Lucy.”

Lucy returned his smile with a sad one, nodding slowly. She gingerly handed him her yearbook. He took it in his hands like it was something precious. This wasn’t forgiveness, but it was better than nothing.

He took a seat on top of the empty desk beside her. He flipped to the front page and, similarly to Frieda’s, her front pages were mostly filled up. He smiled softly and went to the back section. There, he found an empty corner flap. 

It was the perfect spot for him. Out of sight, but there if you took a moment to look. It was symbolic for the way he had impacted Lucy’s life. Brief and unsuspecting in a few years down the line. Just a faint memory.

Schroeder wished he and Lucy had more time than what they were given, but he was happy that anything happened at all. Lucy, his first love.

He kept his note to her short and inconspicuous. He didn’t want to leave Lucy with a sad letter that would make her hate opening her yearbook as time passed on. He wanted her to look back on their relationship, however short, with nostalgic happiness. 

He wrote:

To the girl on my piano,

Believe in yourself and live your life like how you live everyday, unforgivably and irrevocably yourself.

Yours truly,

Schroeder

Schroeder gently closed her yearbook, sealing away his letter to her. He didn’t want to see her reaction upon reading it. He couldn’t. Lucy finished writing hers just a moment later. She closed his yearbook with a sense of fragility, running a gentle finger over the cover before handing it back to him. She smiled. He smiled. 

“Thanks, Lucy.”

“Goodbye, Schroeder.”

And just like that, they returned to their own separate worlds.

Later that night, long after the school bells tolled one final time, Schroeder opened his yearbook to reread all the notes his friends had left him. He had yet to read Lucy’s. He was too scared to, too afraid to seal that door behind him for good. But his mind urged him for that final bit of closure. What would be Lucy’s last message to him?

He opened his yearbook. Her note was on the first page, among his other close friends, written in the prettiest calligraphy and in glittery blue ink. 

Schroeder,

I hope we both find what we’re looking for. Thank you for the memories.

Cheering you on always,

Lucy van Pelt

Schroeder’s hands shook as he reread Lucy’s message over and over and over again. His fingers traced the letters she wrote, imagining that her hand was right there. His vision became blurry as tears fell onto the pages. He quickly slammed the yearbook shut, not wanting to ruin such a precious note with his useless tears.

He fell asleep that night with the book tightly clutched to his chest.

—

Today was the day. Graduation.

Months ago, he couldn’t wait to graduate and move away for college. Now, as he stared at himself in the mirror wearing his graduation garbs, he did not feel excitement. But instead, he felt a pronounced sense of sadness. Still, he didn’t want to be the person to rain on his own parade.

Schroeder smiled as he’s repeatedly blinded by the flash of his mother’s camera. His parents were, at the very least, very happy to see their only child graduate. So, he let his mom take as many pictures in as many different poses as she wished.

Eventually, though, it was time to go. His dad ushered them into the car and drove them to Schroeder’s highschool.

The parking lot was full by the time they arrived. Schroeder took note of any familiar cars that were there. Charlie Brown’s dad’s truck, Franklin’s mom’s minivan, Marcie’s mom’s SUV, and it looked like even Peppermint Patty’s dad’s sedan was here. He also noticed the roof of a particular car, one that he laid on top of many months ago. 

Schroeder and his parents enter the gymnasium-turned-stage and they kiss him goodbye as they’re separated by guests and graduates. After writing his name and its pronunciation on a blank flashcard, he’s told to sit anywhere he’d like. With such a small graduating class, there was no need for alphabetical formalities. 

After marking his attendance, he was freed into the crowd of his lifelong classmates, now graduates. Schroeder glanced around the sea of black regalia, searching for his friends. It was a struggle; everyone was dressed the same. He finally spots them—or more so hears Patty’s loud, obnoxious laughter—somewhere in the center of the chaos. He pushed his way through and was met with a tangle of arms and chuckles.

Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, and Franklin surrounded him. They joked and pointed at each other’s cap and gowns, in disbelief that they had made it here. 

Schroeder chuckled and swatted Franklin’s hands away as the boy tried to strangle him with his bright yellow honor cords. He was the only one among the four that had two. “Stop, you’re going to fray them and my mom’s gonna kill you.” Franklin released him with his arms raised as if saying “My bad.” Schroeder glanced behind Peppermint Patty with a curious expression. “Where’s Marcie, Patts? I thought she would be the first one here.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms. She juts a thumb towards the erected stage with a pout. “She’s backstage with the principal and stuff. She’s valedictorian, remember? She gets to do the closing speech.” 

Schroeder’s mouth forms an “o.” He completely forgot with everything that’s been going on. He rubbed the back of his neck. Charlie Brown squinted at the stage, noticing the curtain ruffling.

“When does this thing start anyway?” 

As soon as the question gets asked, the gym lights dim and the industrial stage lights come on, illuminating the grand stage. Graduates shuffle blindly for an empty seat. The four friends remain glued to each other, their chairs side-by-side. 

The principal and vice principal exit, followed by the homeroom teachers of the graduating class. Two students were the last to enter the stage. Marcie, the valedictorian, and Lucy, the salutatorian.

Schroeder was hit by shock, unprepared at seeing Lucy up on the stage. But that quickly died down as she approached the microphone. The light shone on her like a golden ray. She was beautiful even in her baggy graduation regalia. Her cap sat near the back of her head, perfectly in place as swirls of hair dangled from it like a cascading waterfall. She was adorned with layers of multicolored cords and stoles, all evidence of her obvious highschool success. 

Lucy smiled widely as she recited the Pledge of Allegiance. Her voice rang clear and true. Schroeder had never felt so entranced by the pledge before. But it ended too soon for his taste, Lucy finished and stepped away from the microphone. The clapping meant for her turned into patriotic cheers as the school marching band played the national anthem.

That was the most interesting part of the graduation ceremony while the main bulk of it was torturously boring. And slow. The principal and fellow teachers gave their arduous speech about pride and success and so on and so forth. Schroeder didn’t pay much attention.

Soon, it was time to finally walk. Schroeder, with the rest of his classmates, formed a single-file line for the stage. The two students on stage had their names read out first. 

Marcie was efficient with her graduation walk. She shook the hands of the people she needed to, accepted her diploma, and allowed three seconds for the snap of cameras before rushing off the stage.

“Lucy van Pelt!”

Lucy was not the same as Marcie. Schroeder watched with amusement and genuine happiness as she took her time walking across the stage. She greeted the principal and other staff with time and care. She was then handed her diploma and beamed down at the piece of paper with the utmost pride. She then proceeded to hungrily soak up the flashes of numerous cameras before finally walking off the stage.

Schroeder chuckled to himself and shook his head slightly. Lucy did love a camera and she certainly deserved the attention. She worked harder in her one year back than most of them in their entire lives of living here.

After a little while longer, his group of friends were up next. Shermy and Pigpen, who found their seats close by, were ruffians until the end. They each kissed the cheek of the principal and their homeroom teacher before running to grab their diploma from the frightened staff member. Why anyone was surprised they pulled one final act before graduating, Schroeder didn’t know.

Franklin went up and was relatively normal, politely shaking the school board’s hands and taking the diploma. He hollered and shot a peace sign in the air in celebration before trotting off stage. 

When it was Peppermint Patty’s turn, she rubbed her hands together and jumped up and down like she was hyping herself up for a game. When her name was called, she—to Schroeder’s surprise—acted similarly to Marcie when walking across the stage.

Charlie Brown sighed nervously as he handed one of the teachers his name card. He turned to Schroeder just as his name is called, offering him a two finger salute. “I’ll see you on the other side, bud.”

Charlie Brown was painfully awkward from the time he climbed the stage steps, all the way up to his departure. He had a shaky smile and gave shaky handshakes. He shakily accepted his diploma before trembling off the stage. Schroeder and the rest still gave their loudest shouts and applause.

Schroeder was the last of their group to go. He would describe how it felt to cross that ginormous stage, but he had already forgotten. It was as if his memory was erased, his mind elsewhere as his name was called and shook the numerous hands outstretched towards him. He only realized that he was finished when he felt the coarse diploma paper in his palm.

He rejoined his friends in the lawn of metal chairs and they all high-fived. They sat back down and waited for the rest of their classmates to finish getting their diploma. That’s when Marcie, who still waited on stage, approached the microphone. Schroeder and his friends sat up in anticipation. She took a deep breath and began her closing statement. 

“Good evening, my fellow students.”

Marcie’s speech was as great as Schroeder expected it to be. She spoke on her hardships and the importance that the role of valedictorian held for her and how she hoped to use the opportunity to make a change in the world. Typical grand speech stuff, but made into her own beautiful rendition. She stopped briefly to sigh, then smiled. It wasn’t the calm, sophisticated smile she had on when giving her speech. It was the type of easy-going, content smile she often had around her friends. She deeply inhaled.

“But I have come to learn that grades are not everything. And the same goes for the number of clubs or extracurriculars that you’re in. Because as much as I’m honored to be the valedictorian speaking on behalf of all of you tonight, my most memorable moments in highschool were spent outside of school. Memories that I’ll never forget and are shared by my most wonderful friends.” 

Marcie stopped and stared at the crowd, directly at where Schroeder and the rest of them were sitting. From his right, he noticed the tears that welled up in Patty’s eyes. 

Schroeder glanced at Lucy who sat pristinely on stage. As if sensing his gaze, her eyes meet his and their eyes lock temporarily. They smiled at each other with heartbreaking fondness before turning away.

They both read each other’s notes.

“I want to use this speech to emphasize the importance of living in the moment, because we are so often caught up with living to make up for the past and planning for the future. I implore you all, don’t just simply live. Be alive. Thank you.”

A chorus of claps, whistling, and hollering filled the gymnasium as Marcie stepped away from the microphone. Peppermint Patty was the first to give a standing ovation for her best friend. She was immediately followed by Schroeder, Franklin, Charlie, and then the rest of the ceremony attendees. 

The principal grabbed the lone mic and screamed into it their graduation year. Streamers and confetti bursted out into the air and the overhead speakers began playing a song Schroeder had once heard at a party. He put his hands up in the air, trying to catch the confetti like it was fresh rain. Then, he noticed a flurry of black caps soar above him. He grinned and snatched his cap off, tossing it to go fly with the others. Schroeder laughed, eyes shut tight. He knew that, somewhere in the crowd, Lucy was laughing too. This made him smile harder.

For the first time in the past month, Schroeder felt alive.

Chapter Text

It was a sweltering summer day. The cicadas chirped loudly all around, another sign that it was summer. Schroeder squinted against the sun. It was so bright, he could almost see the rays burning into his skin. 

He placed another brown box into his car with a tired sigh. He swiped away the sweat that gathered at his forehead and brow but the sweating did not stop. A break and some lemonade was calling his name, but now was not the time for leisure.

He was supposed to be driving up to New York City tomorrow with his parents and he’s been procrastinating packing until today. Shame on him honestly, but what’s done is done and so, in order to not postpone his move-in date, he’s been at this for a few hours now. His parents weren’t any less busy. His mom was in the kitchen prepping a week’s worth of food for him and his dad was double—triple—checking his car to make sure it was capable of driving such a distance. 

Schroeder galloped up to his room for the upteenth time, ready to stuff more of his belongings into feelingless boxes. He took in his childhood bedroom with his hands on his hips. Items were strewn everywhere—shoes, clothes, books—whatever he deemed necessary for life outside of the home he knew, all in an attempt to make a new home in his tiny dorm up in New York City.

He took a seat on his bed, the one thing left unbothered in his packing, to think. What to pack next? Majority of his closet had been emptied except for a few articles of clothing that he didn’t want to bring but those left behind were mostly old clothes. He packed only his most comfortable shoes for college plus one formal because—let’s be real—he’d be walking more in NYC than driving. For books, he was bringing all of his piano books. That seemed more than appropriate considering his major in Piano Performance. 

He debated whether or not to pack his vinyl records but ultimately decided against it since he didn’t want to risk breaking them on the ride or when moving in. Plus, he couldn’t exactly bring his record player; it was too bulky and too heavy. Several cassette tapes for his Walkman would have to suffice.

Not knowing what else to pack, Schroeder finally decided to take that much needed break. He moved from the bed to his desk. His fingers traced the numbers of the phone as his gaze floated to the tiny phonebook next to it. The last digits of a familiar string of numbers poked out from the edge of the booklet. 

Schroeder sighed and tucked the number back in, concealing it from himself. He slowly laid his head to rest on a folded arm, eyes never leaving that phonebook.

You have to write it down and promise not to lose it. I won’t repeat it again.

The distant memory coaxed another sigh from Schroeder’s lips.

How long has it been since he and Lucy had broken up? Nearly 2 months? Over now?

He wondered why today would be the day he’d think about Lucy. Maybe it was because he was leaving tomorrow. Maybe it was because he wanted to see her one more time before then.

Life has been… surprisingly okay since graduation. He cried about Lucy less. He thought of her… less. Sometimes.

But what was important was that he was taking care of himself again. And that he was excited about college and Juilliard again when guilt and regret were the only things he associated it with after their strenuous breakup.

Don’t get him wrong, Schroeder still missed Lucy van Pelt. He missed not just being her boyfriend, but he also missed their friendship. He missed that girl on his piano.

He groaned and slammed his head onto his desk, eyes screwed tight. A short trill, a singular music note, rang somewhere near his head. Schroeder’s eyes snap open in surprise at the sound. He knew that sound. He takes his time sitting back up, as if preparing himself for something terrible. He said nothing as he maneuvered old textbooks and his stash of writing utensils. Hidden at the very back of his desk was a tiny grand piano.

The piano box, he had named it, Lucy’s Christmas gift to him. 

What was it doing all the way back here? Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t recall the last time he wound up the little toy. Well that’s just unfortunate; a precious thing like this deserved to be played often. He frowned and gently picked it up, lightly brushing off the layer of dust with a fingertip. He briefly admired the details before turning it around and cranked it.

Beethoven’s Für Elise started to play. He knew it would, but it still astounded him nonetheless. Schroeder smiled and placed the piano box down in front of him before leaning down to watch the inanimate object’s performance. 

When the crank started to slow, the notes did too until both eventually stopped. Schroeder’s room fell silent once more and the gravity of his reality settled in. 

Tomorrow, I’ll be in New York City. This childhood bedroom—this entire town—will be a memory. Lucy will be a memory.

Schroeder didn’t cry at the thought, but his heart did tighten. He arranged his desk, making it tidy so that he would not lose a special item such as the piano box ever again. Then, he grabbed the tiny piano and placed it on the edge of the desk, right on top of his yearbook. 

He looked at his work with a satisfied smile. As he’s turning to leave, his shirt gets caught on something. He patted his chest and spun in a circle, wondering what it could be. In his movement, a clang of metal hits his sternum and he stills. He grabbed the item through his shirt with a sharp inhale. On the exhale, he reaches for his neck underneath his shirt and pulls the necklace over his head.

The dog tag that Lucy had given him sat in his palm. The necklace dangled past his fingertips, swaying back and forth like a grandfather clock. The metal chains catch the light that streamed through his windows, causing a blinding glint.

Schroeder ran a thumb over the engraving.

S + L

Their initials above a music note. Another gift of Lucy’s. Another distant memory.

Moments so fond should be left as memories, no matter how hard, if only to keep them from being tainted or tainting others yet to be.

With gentle resolve, Schroeder placed the necklace alongside the music box. 

—

For old time’s sake, Schroeder and his friends spent one last dinner at the old pizza joint. The whole gang was here, minus the van Pelt siblings—obviously. They took up the whole table and placed Schroeder right in the middle. They drowned him with attention and treated him like some sort of blonde, blue-eyed Jesus.

He normally wouldn’t like all this attention, but tonight was different. He didn’t know when they’d get to meet up like this again, so he soaked up every moment like it was their last.

Same thing with his pizza. He savored his slice, chewing abnormally slow. Sure, NYC probably had tons of better pizza places, but nothing would be able to beat childhood nostalgia.

“Man!” Peppermint Patty announced after taking a swig of her soda. She gave a pointed look as she took another sip. “I can’t believe you’re already leaving, Schroeder boy. It’s only July, for crying out loud! That’s like… the middle of summer!”

Franklin nodded in agreement. “Yeah. You sure you can’t wait another couple days, Schroeder?”

Charlie Brown grumbled, visibly upset. He ripped off a piece of the pizza with his canines, a grimace on his face as he chewed. “Hmf. How about an extra week?” 

Schroeder gave his friends a sad smile. He gave extra consolation to his best friend, patting and rubbing his back. He sighed when his friend didn’t react. “Oh, don’t be like that, Charlie Brown. You knew this day was coming.” Matter of fact, he had nearly a year to prepare for Schroeder’s imminent departure.

Sally waved him off, head ducked down as she sucked on her strawberry milkshake, arms folded on the table in front of her. “Don’t mind my big brother, Schroeder. You know how big of a baby he is.” She sticks her tongue out towards her brother childishly. His sister’s diss finally elicits a response from Charlie Brown. 

“I know, I know. I know you gotta go. I just don’t get why you have to leave so early. I mean,” he gestured to the people around the table with an extended arm, “the rest of us aren’t leaving until August. Even Marcie isn’t leaving as early as you-”

The girl mentioned, the only other person from their friend group who’s going out of state, cuts him off with a deliberate cough, pushing up her glasses. “Don’t use me as collateral. I can afford to leave later since I’m just moving in with relatives.” Marcie stared up from her food and shot Schroeder a look of encouragement. “Do what you need to do, Schroeder. You’ve got the hardest move from all of us.”

Schroeder smiled a timid sort of smile. He mouthed a silent thank you. He could use the support right now. He also didn’t want to spend this final dinner with them constantly nagging. 

Shermy chuckled and elbowed Pigpen jokingly. “Yeah. Schroeder’s got the hardest move because Lucy is gonna be all the way across the country in California.” The two boys snickered but immediately shut up when Patty and Franklin harshly smack them in the back of their heads. 

There’s an awkward silence that falls in the air like a blanket of heavy smoke. No one dares to say anything. The table just cautiously eyed Schroeder for a reaction—any at all—to know how to proceed.

Charlie Brown told him a while ago that her move-in date was just a week after his. Schroeder imagined Lucy in sunny California, walking around on campus with beach curls and tanned skin, just as she was when they were at the beach. Yeah, Lucy van Pelt would fit nicely in California.

Schroeder mustered up a brave smile, dabbing his mouth with a napkin.

“I guess I won’t be able to send her off when she leaves, huh? Send Lucy my regards when I’m gone, will you?”

—

Schroeder set down the last box of his clothes with an exhausted sigh. Standing up with a stretch, hands on his hips, he grinned at his parents who stared at him from the doorway. Their eyes watered as they watched their son file his clothes into a small closet—miniscule in comparison to his even smaller dorm room. 

His mom sniffled silently as she organized Schroeder’s mini fridge with the week’s worth of food she prepared the day before. His dad installed removable shelves that hung above his twin size bed. They worked in silence, but their sadness hung in the air and enveloped the room. 

Schroeder’s parents continued to help assemble and unload and organize his new room until there was nothing else to be done but stare at each other.

Before his mom could break down into full on sobs, a stranger practically bursts through the door. This person offered some scrambled apologies as he dumped three boxes, towering high and covering his face, onto the bed adjacent to Schroeder’s. The intruder is a boy with a mess of curly, brown hair. On his lean figure, he’s wearing baggy jeans and a loose-fitted tee. The bulky, black combat boots on his feet are what he used to kick the door open. 

As the boy turned to Schroeder, he gave a wide, toothy smile. They looked the same age, were about the same height—Schroeder was only a few centimeters taller. The boy extended a hand in greeting.

“Why hello, my very startled roommate and his parents. The name’s Raymond—but please don’t call me that—I prefer Ray. I’m a Drama Major.” 

Schroeder blinked at the boy—Ray, as he called himself—in unbridled surprise. Waiting for his shock to wane was like waiting for dust to settle. Eventually, Schroeder took his roommate’s hand, giving it a firm shake.

“Schroeder. Piano.”

Ray hummed in appraisal before letting go of his hand. “The piano, huh. That’s one of the harder majors to get into. You must be pretty good!” This earned a blush from Schroeder, not used to receiving compliments from strangers. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Um, yeah. I guess. Thanks.”

Well- His roommate sure was… eccentric. But he seemed nice enough and polite, taking it upon himself to also introduce himself to his gobsmacked parents. Schroeder sighed in relief when he at least noticed that his mother didn’t look like she wanted to cry anymore. Matter of fact, she looked ecstatic to have someone like Ray be her son’s roommate. Maybe it was Ray’s outgoing personality that put her at ease. 

I guess because Ray was sorta like Charlie Brown in that sense.

His parents freely converse with his new roommate while Schroeder continues tidying his side of the room.

“Oh, my parents? Well, they don’t really agree with me pursuing acting, if you catch my drift, so it’s just me here unpacking today.” This catches Schroeder’s attention and his parents’ pity. His dad immediately offers to help bring in the remainder of Ray’s belongings, leaving Schroeder and his mom alone. She takes a seat on his mattress and pats the spot beside her.

Her face turns solemn as she hands him a sealed envelope. It’s blank, front and back. Schroeder raised a brow.

“What’s this?”

She explains how Lucy’s mom came over early that morning. She was putting that envelope into their mailbox when Schroeder’s mom came out for her morning jog. If they discussed anything about their relationship, she didn’t say, only that whatever was inside the envelope was for him.

Schroeder held the mysteriously light envelope with both hands. His fingers itched to rip open the seal, but he didn’t trust his own reaction with his mom being there. He nodded and set the envelope underneath his pillow. 

I’ll open it later.

After his parents left to catch a cab to the airport and a much needed shower, Schroeder returned to his shared dorm room. He was alone, for now. Ray went to the main part of campus to go socialize, meet new people. He invited Schroeder but he turned him down almost instantly, blaming his antisocial tendencies on exhaustion. At least it wasn’t a complete lie.

He plopped down onto his bed with a heavy sigh, but laying down didn’t offer him much reprieve either. The bed was too small, his feet dangling off if he didn’t lay down at an angle. The mattress was soft, nearly lumpy, from overuse. The springs creaked under his weight as he shifted around uncomfortably. There was also a funky smell that he couldn’t quite describe.

Juilliard was far from being the dreamy school I had hoped, Schroeder thought to himself in disappointment. Was he excited for no reason? He physically shook the thought from his head. It was just the first day and classes won’t be starting for another few weeks. He was just homesick. He’d acclimate. Things will get better.

He sighed again, lighter, satisfied with his own reasoning. He turned onto his side that faced the cement wall, shoving a hand under the flattened pillow for more support. His hand brushed against paper. 

The envelope. He nearly forgot.

Schroeder wrangled the parchment from underneath his head and laid on his back. He raised the white envelope above his head. The overhead light that shined behind it highlighted the outline of something long and rectangular within it. Schroeder opened it.

Inside the inconspicuous envelope was a strip of negatives. Why would Mrs. van Pelt give me this? He squinted at the tiny film in his hands; it was difficult to see the pictures when they weren’t developed yet. 

There was a boy wearing a suit. He looked painfully awkward next to a girl wearing a formal dress. There were more pictures following that, ones where they stood closer together, the boy’s hand resting on her hip. The smiles on their faces grew more relaxed as Schroeder examined the rest of the reel.

It took a while for him to realize, but when he did, his eyes widened.

The couple in these negatives were of him and Lucy. These were the pictures that Lucy’s mom had taken on prom night.

He had no time to think of the girl on his piano today. Had no chance to. But now that he had their pictures, evidence of what once was, and was hundreds of miles away from her—soon to be hundreds more—Schroeder felt sick to his stomach. The longer he stared at their picture, the worse he felt. It was a sick mixture of guilt, regret, and longing. 

Maybe he wanted a punishment. Maybe he just didn’t want to get rid of them. Whatever the reason was, Schroeder folded the negatives into a neat pile and slid them inside his wallet.

—

Freshman Year, Fall Semester, August

Summer in New York City finished with the change of the leaves. The seasons here moved as fast as its residents and Schroeder learnt quickly that he had to adapt quickly if he wanted to survive.

The communal shower room was always full in the mornings and at night, so either he had to shower before the sun came up or when the sun was well down. He also nearly bust his head open with how slippery the tiles were. Thankfully, his roommate had a pair of spare shower slippers to give him.

Doing laundry for the first time was just as much of a nightmare. He was carrying a laundry bin to the laundromat just a street down from the dorms when someone in a rush bumped into him, causing an avalanche of clothes to spill onto the street. Carrying an open basket was clearly his mistake, but the guy didn’t even apologize. Was it so hard to say sorry around here? Safe to say, Schroeder carried his laundry in a backpack now.

Juilliard—no, New York—was a goddamn battlefield. Was he preparing to be a pianist or a soldier?

Whatever, he wasn’t the type to take stuff lying down. He wanted this lifestyle and he fought hard for it. It was going to take a lot more than slippery showers and spilled laundry to shake his resolve. 

At least classes started which is what he was surprisingly excited for. As soon as sign up sheets opened, Schroeder booked the practice room as often as the music department allowed him. It never felt like it was enough though, not for him. He seriously missed having a piano available whenever he wished. Perhaps he needed to buy a keyboard so he could practice in the dorm.

Schroeder just needed short-time goals to keep himself busy. Keep himself reeled in before his line got lost in the depths of the city. And besides from the piano, the ridiculous amount of homework was a fantastic hook to keep him straight.

His roommate made a ruckus by pulling on his boots. Ray was going out again. Schroeder can’t recall seeing his roommate ever study. At least, not in their dorm. The boy came up behind him and slapped his back. Schroeder jumped, startled. His pencil subsequently dragged across the page as a result. 

Ray shot him an apologetic look before saying, “There’s a party happening tonight. Wanna come with?” Schroeder raised a brow.

“A party?” he echoed, half-curious, half-exhaustion lining his tone. Ray nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah, even us freshmen are invited. You game?”

Schroeder was half-tempted to go. He could use another friend or two to ease his newfound loneliness. His only friend in New York City so far was his roommate, which was a given. A college party would surely remedy that. But one look at the unfinished assignments he had on his desk quickly answered for him. He shook his head with a small smile. 

“Can’t. This stuff is due soon and I’m not even halfway. Next time though for sure.” His roommate gave him a two-finger salute and walked backwards toward the door.

“I’ll hold you to it!” He left with a bang of the door. 

Alone again.

Schroeder sighed and slumped back into his chair, tossing his head back to stare at the ceiling. He was going to go crazy at this rate. The mad pianist. That was a surefire title to get him a headlining show. He shook his head and sat back up. Insanity wasn’t going to get these assignments done. Though, he supposed he could use a short break from homework.

Schroeder dropped his pencil and picked up the phone. He dialed Charlie Brown’s number with a grin.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Woahhh. Never thought you’d call me first, bud.”

—

October

A promise is a promise. 

There were definitely more people at this party than the ones Peppermint Patty would host back home. Ray did mention that it was a frat party. Whatever difference that made. But a party was a party, and Schroeder was determined to enjoy himself and make some friends.

Evidently, it wasn’t that difficult—mainly thanks to his social butterfly of a roommate. Ray had already been to numerous parties in the short months they’ve been at school, so he had plenty of friends to introduce. Most of them were drama majors like himself, some were people Ray had met in his general classes, some he met on campus just by chance.

Oh, and Schroeder was meeting them all for the first time wearing costumes. Because this was a Halloween frat party. Like Charlie Brown, his roommate forced Schroeder to wear a costume. A prince. He didn’t like the idea of dressing like royalty—felt a little tacky—but it was easy to throw on a drawstring shirt and a cheap plastic crown. 

A girl dressed in a plaid blue dress, pigtails, and blood red shoes passed in front of him. He forced himself to look away.

“And this one dressed like a pirate is Mikey. He’s in my improv class.” Schroeder shook the boy’s hand—hook—and offered his own introduction.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Schroeder. I play the piano.”

Name. Major. It was starting to turn into his identity.

Mikey’s mouth formed an “o” upon hearing his major. Schroeder was starting to see a trend. It was like they started forming their own version of him in their heads. He could see it in the way their facial expression changed. Their eyes would widen in surprise, impressed. Or sometimes the outer corner of their eyes would tighten as they gave him a tight-lipped smile. Pretentious piano major, their body language would say.

Didn’t make any difference to Schroeder. They were all at Juilliard for the same reason right?

This Mikey fellow was one of the few people tonight that didn’t outwardly show a particular bias towards Schroeder. He liked that.

“Nice to meet you, Schroeder. Say, I have a friend that plays the violin who’s been looking for an accompanist for a recital. I could hook you two up if you’re interested?” 

Schroeder pondered the possibility in his head. The only “duet” he’s done was with Lucy and she was singing. Never had he tried to play alongside another instrument. He’s also never taken on an accompaniment role before. Hm… This could look good on my musical resume.

Schroeder shrugged, but his words decided. “Don’t see why not. This violinist goes to Juilliard?” The boy nodded and wrangled a pen from his pants, struggling a bit with only one hand. He proceeded to write a phone number onto Schroeder’s forearm.

“She’s a bit older than us. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you’re a freshman if you can manage to keep up with her.”

—

November – December

If Schroeder was the piano prodigy of the freshman class, then Evelynn was the violin prodigy of the junior class. 

And the girl knew that she was the best. To a fault.

Evelynn’s arms fell to her sides, stopping mid performance, the violin still tucked underneath her chin. She turned to Schroeder with a scowl and she placed her hands on her hips.

“You’re not playing that part correctly. Again. How many times do I have to tell you?” 

Schroeder sighed and gestured toward the sheet music in front of him. “I’m just playing what’s written-”

She cuts him off with a groan. She puts the violin back in its case and stomps over to where Schroeder sat at the piano, stopping when she towered over him. Her dark chestnut hair was tied out of the way, showcasing her anger-reddened face. 

“I don’t care if the composer himself was here telling you how to play. You’re my accompaniment. So you play. With. Me.” She ended her rant by jabbing a thumb to her chest, emphasizing her words. 

Schroeder rubbed his temples tiredly, already feeling a migraine coming on. 

This was how their practices went for the past couple of weeks, three times a week. Her playing and telling him that he was a terrible accompaniment. She was right. He was wrong. 

The only reason why she hadn’t gotten rid of Schroeder was because he was the 4th accompanist she had put through the ringer. No one wanted to work with her and, most conveniently, Schroeder had the patience.

But this was getting exhausting and ruining his morale. He could just quit and leave the high maintenance violinist to fend for herself, but that didn’t sit right with him either knowing her recital was right around the corner. He’d just have to endure working with her just this once.

He sighed and put his hands up in surrender. “Right. Sorry. Let me try that again.” He learned that it was just easier to agree with her than to fight.

The violinist huffed with a firm nod, pleased with his resignation. She walked over to pick up her violin, calmly this time, and got into a ready position. He eyed her nervously, not wanting to mess up before they even started. She started with a very loud and obvious inhale.

They played together and it was, for the first time, going perfectly. They were nearing the end of the piece when Schroeder got a little too lost into the music. He accidentally played over Evelynn. He noticed his mistake as soon as she did.

“SchrOEDEEEEEEEER!” She shrieked, her voice rising to an octave that could reach space. If she was a voice major, she’d register as a soprano. Schroeder winced and covered his ears. There was no way that the soundproofing of this practice room blocked that out. 

Schroeder braced for impact, hunching over the piano. He held his hand in his hands, elbows pinging the keys, and let Evelynn yell up a storm. 

“How many more signals could I possibly give you?! Huh?! Do you need me to verbally announce when you should play that chord?! And why did you just randomly crescendo?! This is my solo, not yours-”

“Shut up! I get it! Gah, you’re impossible to work with!” Schroeder screamed, shooting up from the bench. He sees Evelynn’s baffled expression—even a little hurt—and immediately regrets losing his temper. The arms at her sides retracted to her chest. He watched as her face melted into Lucy’s the day they broke up in his music room. Same expression. Same body language. The same person who said hurtful things. 

He hadn’t changed at all.

Schroeder ruffled his hair in exasperation and sighed deeply, staring at the ground. The practice room is silent. After he gathered his bearings, Schroeder looked back up at the girl. It was Evelynn who stared back at him now, timid and unsure.

“Sorry. Look, let’s cut rehearsal short and come back tomorrow-”

“But I don’t have a room booked for tomorr-”

“I do,” he responded with quick efficiency, effectively shutting her up. “It was supposed to be for my own practice, but it’s fine. I’m not the one with a recital soon.” The violinist rapidly blinked, not expecting his kind offer. 

“I don’t understand.”

Schroeder sighed and packed up his belongings. He turned to look at the surprised girl before leaving the practice room. “You don’t have to. But I promise that I will be the most perfect accompanist for you by tomorrow.”

And true to his word, Schroeder blew the violinist away with his playing the following day. 

Using the keyboard he had just bought, he stayed up late that night memorizing the accompaniment piece to her solo, even disregarding one of his assignments that he had planned to complete just to do so. His idea was that he could spend more time focusing on matching Evelynn’s play style if he didn’t have to worry about what note came next. And it worked.

“Wow. Um-” The girl started but stopped. Her mouth opened, presumably to compliment Schroeder, but quickly closed it, pursing her lips into a straight line. Schroeder smirked and lazily propped his head on his fist, elbow resting on the closed fall board.

“What? Was I so good that you forgot how to scream at me?” The girl turned red in the face, sputtering.

“W-what are you talking about? You w-weren’t even that good! You’re just my accompaniment-” Schroeder chuckled and shook his head. He had never seen the almighty so flustered before. She was normally so sure of herself. It was a refreshing sight. His laugh catches her more off guard, resulting in her face turning a deeper red.

“Relax. I was just joking, Evelynn. Though I’m glad that you’re not yelling at me for once.”

She huffed and crossed her arms. Her face still bright red, she looked the other way, embarrassed. “Hmf. Don’t get used to it. Now stop distracting me. We’re wasting precious rehearsal time.” She coughed awkwardly and placed her violin back under her chin. And just like that, confidence returned to her face like the violin was a mask she could wear. Her voice was stern, “Play like that again. I hope it wasn’t just luck.”

Schroeder scoffed and readied himself once more. “I don’t need luck to play the piano.”

And for the next week the pianist and violinist continued their practiced perfection, up until the day of the girl’s recital. Their actual performance was just like their rehearsal. Perfect.

Evelynn bowed lowly with her violin tucked under her arm and received her momentous applause with great pleasure, a toothy grin spread on her face. When she straightened, she turned around and gestured to Schroeder who still sat glued on the piano. Not wanting to take too much of her spotlight, Schroeder gave a shy wave and small bow of his head.

“Wow! I think that was my best performance to date!” Evelynn exclaimed when they walked off the stage. 

“Yeah. You were pretty great, Evelynn,” Schroeder agreed casually. This performance showed to him why she was considered the best violinist of her class. The whole school as of current, most likely. The girl clicked her tongue in disapproval.

“We’re past formalities, Schroeder. Call me Evie. Or Lynn. I don’t care, just don’t call me Eve.” 

Schroeder raised a brow. “What’s wrong with the name Eve?”

Evelynn— Evie—scoffed. “Sounds like a stripper name. No thanks.” Schroeder sharply inhaled and nodded silently. Right…

She gratefully accepted a bouquet of roses from one of the recital attendees. She smashed her face against the petals and took a deep breath, sighing happily. Schroeder bit his lip and looked away. That reminded him all too much of Lucy.

“Will you be my accompaniment again?”

Schroeder’s head whipped towards her. His brows knit together in confusion. “What? What do you mean ‘again?’”

The girl rolled her eyes in an annoyed sort of way. “What do you think it means?”

“Like, you want me to be your accompaniment? Again? For another recital?” 

Evelynn groaned and stopped walking. “Look, I’m not going to beg, but you’re the best pianist that’s ever played for me. It’s expensive hiring a professional and everyone I’ve worked with that go to Juilliard are pretentious brats who always think they’re better than me.” Schroeder stifled a laugh. Takes one to know one. “This won’t be my last recital and I don’t want to go looking for another competent pianist. So, I guess I am begging you.” She sighed deeply and stared at him dead in the eye. “Keep being my accompanist, Schroeder.”

He crossed his arms and mockingly tapped his chin in pretend thought. “Hm… I don’t know…”

“Schroederrr,” she whined and stomped her feet like a child throwing a tantrum. Schroeder bit back a grin. Evelynn was much more palatable to be with when she wasn’t acting all high and mighty. She might even be enjoyable to be around. He decided to push his luck a little further.

“Say ‘please?’” 

Evie scowled and looked as though she might bite him. “Please stay as my accompanist, Schroeder,” she begged through clenched teeth. Her voice sounded like the words physically pained her to say. Schroeder let his smile bloom.

“I guess I could do that.”

—

Freshman Year, Winter Break

Schroeder survived the first semester of college by the skin of his teeth. Now as his reward, he could go home. 

It’s noon when his plane lands. He exited the airport with renewed vigor, contrary to his long day of travel. He took a deep breath and sighed happily. He never realized how much easier it was to breathe here compared to inhaling the smog of New York City. 

His parents are already waiting at the arrival gate. His mom’s face is puffy with tears and smothers him with exasperated kisses. His dad lets her do the crying and instead greets him with a tight hug. Schroeder nearly collapses in his parents’ embrace. He had missed them dearly. 

He’s met with even greater fanfare once they arrive home. All of his friends are gathered in the backyard. The snow-covered ground is melted around the edges of the blazing fire pit; Marcie and Shermy are roasting marshmallows over it. Franklin and Peppermint Patty are tossing a baseball back and forth. Pigpen is on the grill, flipping burgers and turning hotdogs. There’s even more food on the picnic table where Sally and her friend, Eudora, sat.

Nobody noticed that Schroeder had arrived as he stood dumbstruck in the doorway. They only finally turned to look at him when someone tackled him from behind, causing him to yelp in surprise.

It’s Charlie Brown’s shining face that Schroeder sees when he turns around. 

“Schroeder! You’re here!” 

Schroeder chuckled and gestured toward the backyard festivities. “I am. Now, what’s all this?” 

Charlie Brown slings an arm over his shoulder, glueing himself to Schroeder. His best friend smiled and slugged him in the shoulder. “You skipped coming home for Thanksgiving break, so we decided to have a redo! A super late Friendsgiving of sorts.”

A feast seemed a little excessive for the occasion, but he wouldn’t put it past his friends to do something like this. Schroeder fought and failed to hold back a grin. 

Everyone stops what they’re doing to go greet Schroeder at the door. They instantly swarm him, firing questions about his time in New York City.

“How’s it like living in the Big Apple?”

“Honestly, super draining-”

“Is it really true that it’s like daytime all the time there with all the lights?”

“Yes? Well, no. Actually-”

“Are you famous yet?”

“Obviously not. I did get to do a performance though-”

“Have you met any pretty city gals?”

From all of the questions asked, that one makes Schroeder freeze. He hadn’t considered dating ever since he broke up with Lucy in the spring. Hell, he barely had any friends with how busy he’s been.

But when the words “pretty city girl” came out, the image of a girl smelling a bouquet of roses appeared in his mind. 

No, he thought in horror. He couldn’t possibly have feelings for her out of all people. Evelynn was mean, arrogant, and narcissistic. Schroeder could barely stand being in the same room as her without having the urge to pull out his own hair. 

But there were times when he could bear the violinist. And during those rare moments, Schroeder found himself smiling in a way he did when he was back home-

No. I don’t like her. End of discussion.

“Shut up, Shermy. Will you- Can you guys give him some space?!” Charlie Brown waved away the crowd that formed around him, shooing them away like pesky flies. They all murmur sheepish apologies and backed away. Arm still over his shoulder, Charlie Brown guided Schroeder to the picnic table. “Sorry about them, they’re just excited to see you—I am too, man.”

Schroeder gave him a tiny nod. “Yeah. I missed you guys too.” It was the honest truth. 

This made the boy smile. Charlie Brown releases him and pats him on the back as they sit down at the picnic table. Everyone returns back to their individual activities. Schroeder plucked a chip off one of the plates and popped it into his mouth. “This is nice by the way. This gathering, I mean.”

His best friend grinned and straightened. There’s a prideful look on his face. “Yeah, I’m the one who suggested putting something together for you. Patts wanted to throw a party, but I figured you wouldn’t like anything too big.” Schroeder let out a small chuckle and agreed with a nod. He grabbed another chip.

“Definitely, thanks for that.“ He smiled softly as he watched his friends play around the yard. It was like he had never moved away. He added, overwhelmed with nostalgia, “I prefer small gatherings like this anyways.”

Charlie Brown sighed and looked off into the distance, his demeanor turning solemn.

“Lucy asked about you, y’know.”

Schroeder stopped chewing. 

Lucy. He had actually forgotten about her. He was already thinking about another girl while Lucy was still asking about him. Was she still not over him? Was he over her? Did he want to get over her? If he had an inkling he had feelings for another girl, surely that meant he had moved on from Lucy. 

Right?

Linus van Pelt’s scornful face flooded his mind.

Do you have no shame?!

Schroeder felt a knife twist in his stomach, taking the form of shameful, hungry guilt.

He swallowed thickly. Feigning nonchalance, he grabbed another chip and asked, “Really? About what?”

“Nothing much. I said bye to her before she left for Cali, told her you said goodbye too. She asked why you couldn’t be there to say it. Don’t worry, I told her you were already in New York.”

Schroeder tried to imagine Lucy shyly asking Charlie Brown where he was. She’d avoid meeting his gaze. Maybe she’d bite her lip. Did Schroeder not want to be here to say goodbye in person?  

Or maybe it would have put her in a crabby mood. Her hands would be on her hips and she’d stare at Charlie Brown with annoyance. And why couldn’t he be here to say goodbye to me, huh?

Whatever the case was, Schroeder immediately wished he had said his farewells in person. 

“Did she… say anything else?” He asked, not able to mask his hopeful tone. Charlie Brown shook his head, not looking at him. His shoulders sagged as he felt a pang of disappointment in his chest. 

It was a good thing that Lucy had moved on. Or, at least, it seemed like she was trying to. She deserved to live her college life freely. She deserved to have fun. Isn’t that what he wished for in her yearbook?

Charlie Brown yanked him from his self pity with a slap on the back.

“Hey. I’m so glad you’re back. Even if it’s only for a month. Don’t sour your own vacation, yeah?”

Schroeder mustered up a smile. He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

Right. This month away from college was his vacation. He shouldn’t ruin it on the first day back, not with such a wonderful get together his friends had planned out just for him. Still, Schroeder wondered if the girl down the street was home for the holidays too.

Sunday mass revealed that Lucy van Pelt was, in fact, not home for the holidays. A new organist had taken over Schroeder’s usual spot in the overhead balcony with choir, so for the first time in forever, he sat with his parents in the pews. And over to where the van Pelts normally sat, only Lucy’s parents and her brothers sat there. Linus felt his questioning stare and returned the expression back tenfold before turning away. Schroeder’s shoulders slumped; he understood.

Lucy did not return back home this winter break.

Schroeder grimly wondered if he was the reason why.

—

Freshman Year, Spring Semester, February – March

Although it was a whole month, Schroeder felt as if winter break wasn’t long enough. Christmas and New Years went by in a blink of an eye. His childhood friends were states away as college separated them once more. Now, he was back at Juilliard and school was back in full swing.

And so were the tri-weekly verbal assaults made by a certain violinist.

“What the hell was that, Schroeder? It clearly says we come into that measure at the same time. For someone who oh so loves going by the book, why did you go early?”

He had to admit, he did improv a bit this practice session. But for good reason.

Something wasn’t right with their performance. He and Evelynn have gone over her solo several times over in its entirety. It wasn’t bad per se, but it wasn’t great. He just couldn’t quite place why that was.

“Yeah,” Schroeder started off slowly, hesitant, as if to test the girl’s reaction. “That was… on purpose. But before you yell at me-” The violinist crossed her arms, raised a brow, and tilted her head to the side. Annoyance was clear on her tense face, but curiosity shone in her eyes as she looked down on him, betraying her contrasting body language. Her gaze seemed to say, “Go on.”

Schroeder sighed in relief before clearing his throat. “So, hear me out…” He then proceeded to explain his idea. He watched as Evelynn’s face lost its annoyance and morphed into skepticism, her brows scrunching together as she bit her lip. His gaze gravitated towards skin rolling between teeth. He blinked harshly and forced himself to look down at his piano while he spoke.

The girl sighed and tapped her foot rhythmically. “Hm… I don’t know, Schroeder. I get what you’re saying, but what if this isn’t the right move?” Schroeder looked up from his piano. His pointer and middle finger mindlessly tapped between the F and F sharp key. He offered her a small smile.

He could understand her hesitancy. As a performer himself, Schroeder knew that diverging from the source material could be nerve-wracking. He remembered the first time he took that risk in front of an audience. It was a spontaneous decision he had made mid-performance. It had baffled his tutor, but also praised him for doing his own interpretation.

“Look, it’s your solo so I can’t force you to do anything, but let’s at least give it a try. And if you don’t like what you hear, then we’ll just keep doing what we’ve been doing, yeah?” The violinist seemed to like that answer; she nodded her head with a nervous smile. She brought the violin back under her chin.

“Alright. Let’s give this a shot.”

They play through the solo with the changes Schroeder had recommended. And with each change they go through, Schroeder watches—almost slyly—as the girl’s face visibly brightens, her eyes growing wide with surprise. Told you so, he commented mentally.

“Well?” he asked after the first run through, keeping his tone even so as to not irritate the woman. 

She scoffed and turned away, pretending to be unimpressed. Schroeder could not see her face, but he did see the red tips of her ears. He smirked to himself. This violinist was not easy to please, but every time he proved her wrong was like winning a battle of satisfaction. 

It was exhilarating.

She spun around to face him, her ponytail flying to the side like a whip. She huffed which caused her cheeks to puff out like a chipmunk. Those same cheeks were painted bright red. “Well, I suppose it wasn’t terrible…”

Schroeder shot up with a start. With long strides, he made his way to her. He could not hold in his excitement any longer; he wanted the thrill of receiving her approval. He grabbed her hands, to which she gasped but did not fight him. He immediately noticed the coarseness of her fingertips, years of playing the violin building a tough layer of callus.

“So you agree that it was a good idea, right? Will you incorporate it in your performance?”

Evelynn’s mouth opened and closed, unable to form any words. She glanced down at their touching hands and her face turned into a deeper shade of red. She pulled her hands away like it burned, leaving Schroeder’s hands hovering in the air. She took a large step back and awkwardly coughed into a closed fist. She waved him off and packed up her instrument.

“Yes, yes. I admit, it was a pretty good idea. Anyways, I gotta dash. Let’s pick this up again next time.”

Schroeder reached out to her fleeing form, brows furrowed in confusion. “But we still have another hour before our time-”

“Just use it to practice your own stuff! Think of it as me paying you back from last time.” She paused and turned to him, her body already halfway out of the practice room. Her face turned red again, muttering as she left, “Thanks, Schroeder.”

Schroeder grinned to himself as the soundproof door clicked shut. 

Sweet victory.

When the day of the performance finally comes around, Evelynn is beyond herself with nerves. Unlike the last time where their performance was simply for show, this one was to be scored and evaluated. There was a line of judges right in front of the stage and even more important looking people with unfeeling faces and clipboards scattered amongst the first and second rows. Recruiters.

She and Schroeder were the next contestants up. The crowd roars as the previous pair on stage finishes. The judges don’t clap—won’t even look up—as they scribble down their evaluations on paper.

Harsh, Schroeder thought grimly with a wince. He hadn’t participated in any piano competitions in NYC himself yet, but he imagined that he would have a similar experience when he eventually chose to. 

Evelynn peaked an eye through the curtain; her foot tapped rapidly against the wooden floor. Her mouth moved as she mumbled to herself.

“New York Philharmonic, Philadelphia Orch- Holy shit. There’s even a rep from the Boston Symphony here. Why are there so many recruiters here tonight? There’s usually only- Oh god. I’m going to puke.” Schroeder tore his eyes away from the judges table. He had never seen Evelynn in such disarray. He frowned and stood beside her before gently pulling her stiff body away from the curtain. She lets him, but her eyes remain fixed on the small slit of the curtain. Her dark freckles are a stark contrast to her pale face. He frowned.

This wasn’t good. Nerves were a surefire way to ruin a performance. He couldn’t let all their hard work and hours of practice go to waste. He had to snap her out of it and he had to do it now.

The previous performers exit stage right. He and Evelynn’s names are called.

The violinist’s knees buckle as she hears her name. Schroeder steadies her by the shoulders; the skin of her arms are cold. He wondered if she even realized that he was holding her because her eyes are everywhere but on him. With a finger on the side of her chin, he turned her head to face him. 

“Never thought I’d see Julliard’s violin prodigy shaking over a couple of recruiters.” His sly remark seems to ease some of that tension from her. She scoffs and lightly slaps his hand away. Her nose flies to the air defiantly.

“I’m not shaking. Maybe you’re unfamiliar with what’s at stake here since you, freshie, haven’t joined any competitions yet, but catching the eye of a recruiter could mean having a job after college. There’s nothing wrong with being a bit nervous for something that huge.”

Schroeder hummed in pretend thought, not at all offended by her diss. Whatever made her feel better.

A staff member urges them to, at least, walk towards the stage while they’re talking, but they still take their time. Schroeder’s hand is ghostly at the girl’s waist, just merely hovering, the warmth radiating from his palm a gentle reminder that she wasn’t alone on that stage.

“What if they hate my interpretation?” she harshly whispered, fear coating her question. She side-eyed him nervously. “Maybe we should just perform the piece how it was originally written?” 

Schroeder grabbed her forearm, stopping them right before the end of the curtain drape. He stared down at her with a small smile. 

“It’s your solo. You should perform this however you deem fit. If you want to play by the book, then we’ll do that.” Her shoulders sagged in relief at his words. Their names are called a final time, a warning of disqualification added at the end if they do not show. Schroeder added one last thing before walking in front of her, half of his body visible to the audience, “But if you decide to change things up, just shoot me a look. I’ll be watching you. I’ll follow your lead.”

Schroeder steps fully into the light and extends an open hand. Evelynn’s mouth parts; she stares at him with a sense of awe and appreciation, an expression she had never freely shown him until now. She puts her hand in his and he guides her to center stage. He gives her one last word of encouragement before taking a seat at the piano beside her.

The violinist sighs deeply, rolling her shoulders back, before placing her violin underneath her chin. She turned her shoulder, glancing at Schroeder, worry still evident in her eyes. I got you, he mouthed. Her tense expression loosens, her eyes harden with confidence. With that, her bow strikes the set of strings with a frightening chord.

Evelynn plays with the utmost precision. The notes ring clear. The vibrato is heart-wrenching. 

Amazing, Schroeder thought as he smiled to himself. She hadn’t even played this well during rehearsals, nevermind that she was just beside herself with nerves just a few minutes ago. Evelynn was truly just on a league of her own.

Before long, the two near the part of the piece that was the root of the girl’s anxiety. Schroeder watched her carefully; his hands moved on autopilot across the landscape of keys. Only the side of her face was visible to him, her body swaying back and forth as the music moved her like a puppet on strings. But then, the puppeteer spun her body around. She faced him fully; her eyes found his. She gave him that look. That look of fierce, fiery determination he had grown accustomed to was staring back at him. 

The corners of Schroeder’s mouth twitched upwards. He returned her look with a small nod. He faintly noticed the shuffling of judges as he took off on his own, leaving behind the violinist and temporarily overpowering her in volume. Then—and just as suddenly—he slowed to a turtle’s pace and played at a decibel barely audible, his foot lifting off the pedals. 

The audience must have thought Schroeder was sabotaging her, purposely ruining her performance, but he had actually done the opposite. He had set the stage for her in a way that the audience would never forget.

The sweet, mesmerizing sound of the violin enters like a candle through thick mist. The gentle crescendo of the E string cuts through like a hot knife in butter. Schroeder repeats the final measure at a tantalizing pace, further accentuating the sounds of the violin. He noticed the audience shuffling again, but instead of awkwardly moving side-to-side in confusion, they were shifting forward in their seats. 

They were fully enchanted. Just as Schroeder had intended.

The song ends with her and the auditorium falls into complete silence before breaking out into an applause. They—or more so Evelynn—receive a standing ovation. Even the previously emotionless judges stop for a moment to offer polite claps.

Evelynn had won this competition for sure.

The stage lights hone in on the violinist and the girl seems to grow taller like a flower reaching out for the sun. She might have been facing the crowd, but Schroeder knew she was smiling. When he stands from the piano to go stand beside her, sure enough, there’s a big, proud smile across her face. The audience claps a little louder when the light hits him. He flushes slightly, caught off guard by their enthusiastic reaction to a mere accompanist, before bending at the waist to bow. 

When he straightens, he feels a set of eyes piercing the side of his skull. He turns towards the sensation, right down to soft brown eyes. The girl smiles and it’s not her usual cocky smirk or bemused grin—but a real smile. It’s gentle and sweet and almost familiar. Schroeder refused to understand the underlying reasons as to why that expression made him feel the way it did. 

The outer corners of her eyes crinkle as Evelynn reaches for Schroeder’s hand, takes it, and drags him off the stage. This action also feels familiar, but he quickly sweeps the overwhelming wave of nostalgia threatening to overtake him. 

He doesn’t fight Evelynn when she wrangles him into an isolated corner somewhere in the depths of backstage. He doesn’t fight her when she embraces him tightly as she thanks and praises him profusely. He doesn’t fight back when she kisses him.

His brain fires off with warnings and reasons as to why he should push the girl away, but he ignores them all. He doesn’t want to think, can’t be bothered to. 

Schroeder kisses her back.

—

May

The end of the academic year meant the biggest party of the year. And after surviving a grueling week of final exams and several graded piano performances, Schroeder took his roommate’s offer to go to said party instantaneously. 

“So… You and Evelynn still together?” 

Schroeder absentmindedly nodded while he took a sip of his drink. Cup still in hand, he gestured towards said girl from across the room. His girlfriend rolled her eyes, a smile on her lips betraying her, and continued conversing with some of her orchestra friends. 

“Yup,” Schroeder confirmed verbally, popping the “p.” His roommate hummed and tapped the rim of his cup rhythmically to the beat of the music currently blasting.

“I’ll be honest,” Ray started with a grimace, evidently not enjoying his beverage, “I didn’t think you two would last a month—no—like a week.” 

Schroeder wasn’t at all offended by the remark. It wasn’t the first time someone had commented on his and Evelynn’s spontaneous relationship. It really did come out of nowhere. Still, he liked hearing the reasoning why. Schroeder raised a brow and took another sip before asking, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” He chuckled quietly and added, “Is it because I’m a piano-obsessed loser?”

Ray laughed and shook his head, his curly hair swaying side-to-side. He lightly punched his shoulder. “I didn’t say that, you ass. We’re Juilliard students. We’re all a little too obsessed with whatever we’re here for, yeah?” His roommate raised his cup to him and Schroeder tapped his own drink against it with a humorous snort. That, he could whole-heartedly agree with. They both drank. 

Pulling the cup away from his mouth, Ray then said, “I just didn’t foresee you and her getting together in the first place, nevermind lasting this long with her. You’re a chill guy and Evelynn, she’s- uh… How do I put this without being a dick-” He paused and pointed at the girl across the room. Schroeder followed his finger and found his girlfriend barking at some poor guy to get her a different drink, to which the meek boy obeyed with slumped shoulders. Ray winced dramatically. “Like that.”

Schroeder shrugged, shoving a hand inside his jean pocket. “Evie isn’t like that all the time. And besides, I can handle her temper.” Because if he couldn’t, he wouldn’t still currently be her accompanist. Sure, she may be a little too demanding at times—most times—but her hardest critique at the end of the day was her own self. His girlfriend only wants perfection; how could he be mad at her for that?

Ray glanced at him weirdly. He leaned closer to Schroeder in order to whisper over the loud music, “Does she beat you?”

Schroeder laughed loudly, his head flying back. His roommate shot him a pointed look as if to say, “I’m being serious.” Schroeder’s laughter mellowed down into a resigned chuckle. 

“What? No, my girlfriend doesn’t abuse me.” He followed by taking a miniscule sip. Not physically anyways. He swallowed before adding, “Plus, I kind of like the whole bossy thing.” Not that he particularly enjoyed how tight his girlfriend kept his leash, but he was tired of overthinking things and he didn’t have to think an awful lot when he was told what to do 24/7.

Evie reminded Schroeder of Lucy in some ways. Her domineering and confident personality. Her dark hair and eyes. Even the way she smelled flowers was the same. Maybe that’s why he dismisses his new girlfriend’s attitude. Maybe the sliver of Lucy that he sees in Evie is why he kissed her back, but he wasn’t ready to admit that truth to himself.

His roommate comically spit out his drink. He wiped his wet chin as liquor dribbled down from his mouth. Ray chuckled all while staring at Schroeder incredulously. “You what? You’re seriously into that?” Schroeder just shrugged, not really interested in answering anymore prodding questions about his fresh relationship. His roommate shook his head with a sigh. He then chuckled and raised his hand defensively, an amused expression on his face. “Hey, I’m not one to judge. If she makes you happy, man, then I’m happy for you.”

Schroeder nodded, refusing to look at the boy next to him. 

—

Freshman Year, Summer, Part I

The sun was setting now. Schroeder finished the long drive from NYC back home feeling just as rejuvenated as the time he left early this morning. It was because it was summer time, meaning he’d be home for more than a month this time around. And he couldn’t wait to see his best friends again. 

He beamed as his neighborhood came into view. He ran an excited hand through his hair, already fluffy from being combed by the wind all day. He drove down the familiar road and it takes all of his might to not slam his foot into the gas. 

Relax, he soothed, I have all of summer here.

He drove at a reasonable speed through his neighborhood. He passed by the Brown house and the Armstrong’s. Their bedroom lights shined from their windows, escaping through the gaps in the curtains, and he made a mental note to call them when he got home. Schroeder’s eagerness to get home only amplified when he caught a glimpse of the empty baseball field. He’d make sure he and his friends made use of it soon.

His spirits only dampened when passing the van Pelt residence. His breath caught in his throat when he also noticed the light on in Lucy’s bedroom. She was home.

The blue curtains she normally draped over the window were not in place; he could see the music posters plastered on the opposite wall. The open window sucked the fabric outside and the summer wind caused it to sway back and forth, as if to greet, or taunt, Schroeder hello. Music softly trickled down from the open window to his ears, but he couldn’t make out the lyrics. 

Like a cruel trick, he caught a glimpse of her. His breath caught in his throat. Her back was towards him as she made her way across the room, unbeknownst to her that he was watching from the street. His eyes immediately noticed the shortness of her hair. Her black hair stopped at the end of her neck, the ends curled outward playfully. She was wearing a plain white cami that showcased her sun kissed shoulders. 

It had nearly been a full year since the last time he’d seen her. Since they last spoke.  

How was she? When did she get back? Why did she not come home for Christmas? Did she like Stanford? How was school? Did she make any new friends? Did she have a new boyfriend?

Schroeder hadn’t realized he had slowed down to stare until after the melody that was playing changed. His morals kicked in. 

Lucy wouldn’t appreciate it if she knew he was watching her through the window like a creepy ex. His current girlfriend would definitely give him an earful if she found out he was staring at another woman. 

He white-knuckled the steering wheel and forced himself to look away, jaw flexing and unflexing painfully. He drove away silently.

Just a little further down the street, just when Lucy’s house was no more than a speck in the horizon, was Schroeder’s. He pulled into the driveway with a sigh, pushing away that image of tan, short-haired Lucy from his mind.

Schroeder’s fist barely grazes the front door before his mom opens the door with a smile so wide that it’s contagious. He’s ushered inside where his dad is urgently standing from the couch. There’s no time to shower, barely even a moment to place down his small luggage, before his parents drag him to the dinner table where plates of food are gathered waiting for his arrival. 

He’s shoving heaps of mac and cheese in his mouth when he hears a distant phone ring from upstairs. His dad grumbles something about the electricity bill while his mom quickly swallows the food in her mouth to speak.

A girl by the name of Evelynn had been ringing his personal phone since noon in hour intervals, requesting—no, demanding—for Schroeder. She was “polite enough” in his mother’s words, but that description didn’t fare well in Schroeder’s dictionary considering his firsthand experience with his girlfriend. His mother had answered the frequent calls up until 3 in the afternoon, repeating the same thing to the persistent caller (that he wasn’t home yet), before deciding to flat out ignore the calls altogether.

Schroeder mentally cursed to himself. Evelynn had insisted she go home with him for the summer; she nearly did. There were many reasons why that was a terrible idea but mostly, Schroeder just really wanted to spend time with his friends, and he knew that would be impossible with Evelynn around. Only when he promised to call her everyday did she decide that “staying in hillbilly country all summer would be dreadfully boring.” 

For once he was glad he was from a “hillbilly” town.

Schroeder calmly excused himself from the table and kept a placant smile on his face until he was out of view. The last thing he wanted to do to kickstart the summer was for his parents finding out that the girl blowing up their phone bill was his new girlfriend. He grabbed his luggage before ascending the stairs. The incessant ringing of the phone grew louder with each step closer to his room.

He found that his bedroom was exactly as he left it 6 months ago. He didn’t let himself ponder too long before answering the buzzing phone. He couldn’t even slide in a greeting before his girlfriend proceeded to yell his ear off in a loving fashion.

“SCHROEDER! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! I’VE BEEN CALLING ALL DAY! I THOUGHT YOU GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT AND DIED! OR WORSE, IGNORING ME!”

Schroeder rubbed his temples with closed eyes, his other hand held the phone far from his sensitive eardrums. He couldn’t say that he missed this side of his girlfriend. Only when Evelynn stopped screaming was when he brought the device back closer. He mustered up a smile, careful with his tone before finally greeting her.

“Hi, Evie.”

She scoffed. “Don’t ‘Hi, Evie’ me. Where the hell have you been? I was starting to think you gave me a dud number.” Schroeder sighed.

“I just got home. I told you I would be on the road all day, didn’t I?” Some shuffling.

“I didn’t think you’d mean it literally.” Schroeder could practically hear the scowl on her face. He chuckled, the sound more tired than he intended, and shook his head. 

“No, I meant it quite literally, Evie. There’s no highways here and I’m pretty far from the nearest city.” She sniffled.

“Fine. You win.” He didn’t know that this was a competition but okay. “Since I can finally assure you’re not dead, I’ll let you rest. Call me tomorrow, ‘kay? Bye.” Click.

Schroeder stood frozen, phone still pressed against his ear, even after the girl had hung up. The exhaustion of the day finally caught up to him all at once. He slowly placed the phone back on its cradle before collapsing into the desk chair. He slumped forward and rubbed his face tiredly.

Jesus. Was it going to be like this all summer? Him being at her beck and call even when they were states away? It was like he never even left New York.

—

Summer, Part II

The sun was relentless, unhindered by the cloudless sky. New York City never received this much sunlight because of the towering cluster of buildings. Except, perhaps, Central Park, but Schroeder rarely trekked to that part of the city.

It was a perfect day to play ball. 

He was sweating profusely, his pores turning him into a human waterfall. His clothes stuck onto his slick skin. Sweat dripped into his eyes with a salty sting. His muscles burned and ached from use. Yet, he felt great. Maybe he’d get a gym membership once he was back in New York.

Schroeder and his friends played until streaks of orange painted the sky, unapologetically hogging the field for several hours. At this point, all of them were exhausted and hungry.

“Man. What a good game,” Franklin said breathlessly, wiping the sweat from his brow. The boy patted Schroeder’s shoulder and smiled. “You still got a nasty arm on you, Schroedster. Glad to see it.” Schroeder waved him off.

“What? No way. I’m so rusty.” He massaged his right arm and winced when his thumb dug into a knot. “My arms feel like noodles.”

“Ooo. Noodles!” Peppermint Patty exclaimed excitedly. She swung her bat over her shoulders and hooked her arms around them. “Let’s go to that Italian place in the mall!”

Pigpen stuck his tongue out in disgust. “Isn’t that place for couples?”

The memory of him and Lucy eating at the restaurant flashed in Schroeder’s mind. He had forgotten all about that unofficial first date. He was a bundled mess of nerves. They had talked about their dreams. She had cried. He hugged her for the first time.

Schroeder ripped the cap off of his water bottle, tipping it 90 degrees. The water had grown warm from spending a day in the sun, so it did little to cool him down, nor did it wash away the memory, but it at least soothed the tightness in his throat.

“I’ve seen plenty of families there when I last went with Sir,” Marcie answered calmly as she wiped the sheen off of her glasses with her shirt. Shermy raised a brow.

“You ate there with Patty?”

Marcie placed the glasses back on her face and adjusted them. Her mouth opened to answer but Patty interrupted with a scoff.

“It’s just Italian food, you blockhead. It’s only romantic if you make it that way. But if that’s your concern, we have three couples right now. You and Pigpen, me and Marcie, and Schroeder and Frankie. Oh, and there’s Charles too.”

“Good grief,” the lone boy muttered, kicking the gravel at his feet. Franklin grinned and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“That’s alright, Charlie. You aren’t alone. You can throuple with me and Schroeder.” The pianist choked, coughing out water. He swiped his face with a groan.

“Please never use the word ‘throuple’ and our names in a sentence ever again, Frankie.”

The friends split and pile into two separate cars: the throuple in Schroeder’s convertible and everyone else in Patty’s jeep. Like the absolute teenage boys they are, they enjoyed a nice windy trip to the mall with their shirts off, letting the wind dry their sweaty clothes and torso. This would have been unseemly in the city, but they weren’t in a city and the drive to the local mall was 10 minutes at most. No one would see them and the local sheriff wouldn’t waste time on them.

Franklin let out a long sigh from the backseat as he happily—and eagerly—occupied the empty seats. 

“It’s my first time in your fancy convertible, Schroeder.” He laid down and put his hands behind his head to act as a pillow. He sighed again and closed his eyes. “This is nice. You pick up any chicks with this?”

Schroeder eyed him from the rearview mirror and rolled his eyes. “Shoes off the leather seats please.” The boy obliged with no resistance, laying back down after. 

Charlie Brown turned to Schroeder, eyebrow raised. “You didn’t answer his question.” Franklin, to no surprise at all, was no help and added onto the boy’s observation with an enthusiastic, “Yup!”

Schroeder’s eyes rolled again. “No. I don’t pick up any girls with this.” Well- He had Evelynn, but even she hadn’t ridden his car yet. The only girls that were ever in his car were his mom and Lucy. 

He got this car because of Lucy.

Franklin’s eyes shot open and he sat up, leaning over the center console to stare at Schroeder in disbelief. “Get out of here.” 

Schroeder shook his head. “For real. Can’t pick up girls in this if I don’t drive it, right?” There was a small hum in response. Schroeder sighed. “If there was a 10th circle of Hell, it would be New York traffic. I usually just take a taxi or the subway, the car only if I need to. Trust me, it’s easier that way.” Franklin clicked his tongue disappointedly before leaning back. The other boy in the passenger seat shot him another look.

“So… You don’t have a girlfriend?”

“No.” 

The lie came out of his mouth before he realized what he had said. It had come out naturally; he wasn’t even trying to lie about not having a girlfriend. He had one in every sense of the word, but why did his subconscious feel like he didn’t?

Guilt flooded him. What? Evelynn was his girlfriend. Why did he lie? Why couldn’t he bring himself to correct himself? What the hell was wrong with him?

He kissed Evelynn back when he could have easily pushed her away. He had kissed her several times since then and he enjoyed kissing her. He liked how it felt, so didn’t he like her?

An echo of an answer resonated in his heart, but his brain didn’t want to listen. Schroeder clenched the wheel a little tighter. Do you have no shame?

Charlie shifted slightly. He leaned into the folded arm that he had partially outside the window. “You seriously don’t have a girlfriend, Schroeder?” The expression on his friend’s face screamed that he didn’t believe him.

Shit. What had given him away? Was he too tense? Did he answer too fast? Maybe his friend was just skeptical. Whatever the reason was, this was his chance to fix his answer. He could play it off as a joke. Haha. Yeah, I do have a girlfriend. I was just joking.

“Nope. I’m single.” 

What the fuck.

“Huh. Okay,” Charlie Brown said in a monotone voice and looked away. Schroeder cast a sideways glance to the passenger seat. 

Why did he lie again? Why, why, why, why, why? He felt sick as guilt threatened to claw a hole through his stomach. Schroeder bit the inside of his cheek and tasted copper. 

Franklin gently patted Schroeder’s shoulder. He seemed none the wiser to his casual fib, shooting him a pitying smile through the rearview mirror. “Aw. That’s alright, man. We don’t have girlfriends either. Better luck next year, am I right?”

Schroeder feigned amusement with a half-hearted chuckle. He looked away from Franklin’s tender smile, focusing back onto the road. His fingers flexed around the wheel. “Yeah. For sure.” He cleared his throat. “You and Heather not going around anymore, Charlie?”

His best friend sighed, the sound sad, and his shoulders sank in tandem. He waved a flimsy hand in the air without looking back. “Nah. We call every now and then, but we’re just friendly. It’s fine. It’s not like we were ever dating in the first place.” He didn’t elaborate any further, so Schroeder wouldn’t pry. Afterall, he knew the feeling of loving someone too late.

The three arrive at the mall only minutes after Patty, parking next to her muddy jeep. Patty stands proudly, hands on her hips, and waits for Schroeder to finish parking before slapping a hand against the side of his car. Thwack!

“Took you long enough, Schroeder boy! Is your muscle car just for show?” Schroeder put on his shirt while playfully mocking her to which the girl responded with an even heavier hand to his back. 

Schroeder winced. “You trying to break a second bone or something, Patts?” The girl rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist, harshly pulling him along. 

“Come on! I’m starving.”

It was a typical busy Saturday. With every other large table being occupied, the group gets seated at the only twelve-seater table in the back of the restaurant. Unintentionally, they all sit according to the “couplings” that Patty had listed earlier, Schroeder between Charlie Brown and an empty chair. 

Schroeder scours the menu handed to him. Like muscle memory, he flipped to the kid’s section and eyed the spaghetti. When the waiter came back to take their orders, he was fully ready to order his usual, but was hit by a wave of déjà vu. 

“What do you normally order here?” 

“The spaghetti. What’s so funny?”

“I’m curious, Schroeder. How old are you now?”

“Haha. Yes, very funny, Lucy. I’m eighteen and still eat spaghetti off the kid’s menu.” 

“I’ll order something different today.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to.” 

“I’ll have the Linguine with Clam Sauce please,” Schroeder told the waiter with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. No one seemed to notice the way his leg shook underneath the table or the way his finger tapped against the menu. No one batted an eye when he excused himself to go to the restroom. 

Schroeder was hyper aware of himself, down to the shirt touching his skin. Even walking turned into something he had to think about. Right. Left. Right. Left. He successfully forced himself to walk to the men’s room in a calm fashion and didn’t allow his steps or posture to falter until the door shut behind him. He rushed to the sink, nearly tripping on his own two feet in the process. His palms slam onto the countertop in an attempt to steady himself. His head was warm and his silhouette in the mirror wavered as dizziness made him see white. He blindly fumbled for the faucet, turned it on to the coldest setting before splashing it onto his face and hair, welcoming the rush of cold on his clammy face. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself once the stars faded from his vision. He stared at his reflection a minute longer, ensuring that that wouldn’t happen again, and sat underneath the motion sensor air dryer. The whirring of air going past his ears was deafening, but it helped calm him. He fluffed out his now dry hair and took a deep breath before finally leaving the restroom.

Schroeder walked back to the table with a little more pep to his step. This feeling was short-lived as when his friends came into view, he noticed an extra three sets of heads. He froze in place. Peppermint Patty noticed him first and waved Schroeder over.

“Schroeder!”

Nine other heads turned in his direction. Lucy’s eyes met his. She was sitting in the seat right beside his.

Shit. This was the very last thing he expected today. He wasn’t ready to face her. Not here. Not in front of his friends. Another surge of panic threatened his vision. His gaze drifted to Charlie Brown and his best friend gave him a wide-eyed look that matched the way he was feeling. Shit.

Schroeder wanted to do a 180 and go back into the restroom, camp out in there until dinner was over. His body didn’t listen to the frantic yelling in his brain, keeping him firmly rooted in place. Move! Leave!

“Um,” Peppermint Patty interjected with a nervous chuckle. “Lucy, Patty, and Violet came in but the restaurant was out of tables… I thought I could invite them to sit with us… since… we had space,” Peppermint Patty said, her words slowing the longer she spoke. Her head flicked back and forth between the two and her eyes widened when she realized her mistake. She grimaced as if to say, “Shit.”

Lucy then stood up, dragging the attention back to her, including Schroeder’s. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t think- I should just leave.” Her voice was calm and even. Her poker face didn’t reveal if she was feeling the same level of anxiety as Schroeder—if any at all. She shot Peppermint Patty a small smile. “Thanks for offering to share your table. I think I’ll just get food from the food court.”

Schroeder’s feet only started to move when Lucy’s did, seemingly on autopilot. His mind stopped screaming for him to run and now, instead, urged him to keep Lucy from leaving. His hand landed on the back of her chair, preventing her from moving. 

They were standing so close to each other, less than an arm’s length away. His eyes eagerly absorbed the sight in front of him, confirming what he saw in the window a few days ago. 

Lucy’s hair was short, above the shoulder. Her face was darker. Tan. And despite these changes, it was very much still Lucy.

His chest stilled when he caught the smell of lilies.

Don’t breathe.

His mouth twitched upward into a shaky smile. Lucy stared up at him with wide eyes. “You should stay and eat with us, Lucy. You don’t like the stuff in the food court because it’s too greasy, right?” 

A tense silence fell over the table as the group watched the interaction unfold with growing unease. Even Shermy and Pigpen were too uncomfortable to crack one of their jokes. Lucy blinked up at him in shock as her mouth opened and closed sporadically.

“Huh? I mean- Yeah. But it’s really okay, Schroeder. Like- I can just eat at home if anything-” She tried moving, but Schroeder’s grip on her chair was unyielding. He gave her a reassuring nod before letting go, gesturing for her to sit down.

“I’m okay if you’re okay,” he offered simply. She knew what he meant. He gave her another smile more convincing than the first. “Sit.”

Please stay.

Lucy’s throat bobbed in deliberation before finally settling on staying. She nodded slightly and sat back down quietly. Schroeder nearly cried out in relief; he clenched his jaw in order not to. He sat down beside her, careful to not accidentally knock her arm.

The table resumed their cheerful chatter. There were talks about college and the experiences outside of their small town, but Schroeder didn’t join in. He was too busy thinking to himself to pay attention.

How could he? His ex was beside him.

Lucy’s sitting next to me. We’re gonna eat dinner together. She smells good. Oh god, do I smell? I definitely do after playing baseball all day. What was she thinking about? Did she hate me for making her stay for dinner? Should I talk to her? No, absolutely not. That would only make her uncomfortable. Jesus, but what if she spoke to me? Well obviously then talk to her, you blockhead-

Charlie Brown elbowed him gently, breaking his thoughts. The boy glanced at him worriedly and whispered, “Wanna swap seats?” 

Schroeder shook his head. No, that would just make things more awkward.

“So, how’s Stanford, Lucy? You likin’ it there?” 

The question that was the very topic of Schroeder’s mind. He perked up instantaneously but didn’t dare look in her direction, pretending to be uninterested. In reality, he was probably the most interested person there.

Lucy hummed in appreciation. She visibly brightened at the mention of Stanford. She clasped her hands in her lap and Schroeder noticed the way she fidgeted with her fingers, the way she did if she was too excited and didn’t want to show it.

“Oh! Stanford is really great! I don’t know what it is about it—maybe it’s all the sun—but I feel so alive there. I thought I would be lonely moving to the west coast all by myself, but I made so many friends! I joined a ton of clubs and went to every event I could to meet more people. I even joined a sorority! Obviously, there’s the school part of it and my major makes it so that I have to study a ton. Chemistry was really kicking my butt last semester but struggling is just a part of college, am I right?”

The outer corner of Lucy’s eyes crinkled in delight. She spoke quickly, like she had too much to say and not enough time. She made gestures with her hands, signifying to Schroeder that she couldn’t contain her excitement enough to stay still.

Schroeder couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He casually rests his head on a closed fist, enraptured with the way she spoke with such passion. Hearing Lucy rant about her time in college made his heart swell with pride. 

She was having fun at Stanford. She had friends. She loved it there. 

This was the only moment when he thought to himself: I’m glad we broke up.

He was the first to speak when Lucy finished talking. He didn’t bother covering up his smile. “I’m glad. I’m happy for you, Lucy.” 

She turned to him and blinked rapidly as if she was still processing what he just said. Then, her face turned beet red and quickly looked away, flustered with the tender way Schroeder was looking at her. She shyly mumbled into her napkin, “Thanks. Um- What… what about you, Schroeder?”

Schroeder didn’t expect her to say anything, wasn’t even expecting a thank you. He only spoke because he wanted to make sure that she knew he wanted her to be happy. That this was what their whole breakup was for. But she actually responded. She was initiating a conversation with him.

He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He chuckled nervously.

“Honestly, New York City is a little too crazy for me. Everything’s moving too fast and sometimes I feel like I’m getting left behind. Made a few friends, but I’d say I’m closer to my roommate more than anything. I love Juilliard though, especially the piano related classes. I’ve only been there a year but I’ve developed more skills than I ever could here.” 

Their friends watched their extremely casual conversation in confusion and wonder. They looked at each other in silence. Their faces seemed to ask, “Is this really happening?”

The curiosity of their friends went unnoticed by Schroeder and Lucy. They were fully absorbed in each other.

Lucy nodded her head with a small smile. She made a makeshift table with her hands and put her chin on top of it. Was it just his imagination, or had she gotten closer? “That’s fantastic, Schroeder. Have you gotten the chance to perform at one of those theatres we saw yet?”

Schroeder laughed loudly, his eyes screwing shut in amusement. He opened his eyes and shook his head. “You mean the ones on Broadway? Absolutely not and probably not for a long while. But I have been able to perform at a few local theatres as-” As Evelynn’s accompanist, he nearly said. He coughed a little, the name of his current girlfriend coming as a shock. “As an accompaniment though, not a solo gig yet unfortunately.”

He didn’t want his best friends to know about his new girlfriend; he definitely did not want Lucy to know about her either. What would she think of him if she found out that he had moved on and if she, herself, hadn’t? She would definitely think of him as a complete dick and probably wouldn’t speak to him until the end of time. Though, he supposed, he was already a dick for keeping Evelynn a secret.

Lucy hummed again as she took a sip of her water. “Still, getting your name out there is important. And you said theatres as in plural.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “Sounds like tremendous progress to me. It’s only a matter of time.”

Now it was Schroeder’s turn to blush. Hearing the validation come out of her mouth was like getting a rush of dopamine in his system. Evelynn never complimented his skill, not if it didn’t involve her.

He gave her a timid smile and nodded. “Yeah. In time.”

Their conversation about college and life in general outside of home continued after dinner was served, speaking between bites of pasta. They exchanged stories like coveted currency. He told her about his first time going to a laundromat and she told him about her first time riding a skateboard. Schroeder was so engrossed in their conversation that he hadn’t realized that Lucy was eating spaghetti. The two kept talking even after the group left the restaurant, walked around the mall, and all the way to the parking lot. 

He frowned when he realized that their time together was over once more. He didn’t know when would be the next time they’d see each other. It’s not like he could just show up at her house like before. They weren’t dating anymore. 

Lucy gave Schroeder a small wave before hopping into Violet’s car. “It was nice catching up with you, Schroeder.” He grinned a toothy smile and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“You too, Lucy.”

Schroeder waited for their car to peel out of the parking lot before making his way back to his own car where Charlie Brown and Franklin sat already waiting. Charlie didn’t say anything but raise an accusing brow. What was that about, man?

Schroeder rolled his eyes in response and flipped him off, starting the car. He made the mistake of looking into the rearview mirror at Franklin. The boy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. The pianist groaned and he felt his face get hot.

“We were just catching up,” he said defensively.

“Sure, buddy. Whatever you say.”

He dropped off his ridiculous friends back at the park where they left their own cars and made a beeline for home. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and recap his time with Lucy. 

And so, after a long shower, Schroeder collapsed onto his childhood bed. He tossed and turned throughout the night, unable to get rid of this giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. He saw the glint of the tiny, metal piano on his desk and stared at it. Only then was he able to fall asleep.

—

Sophomore Year, Fall Semester, August

Schroeder felt a swell of pride sitting in his 2nd level classes. He survived a gruelling freshman year and, after a refreshing summer, he was ready for another. He was unstoppable now.

He recalled his talk with Lucy at the beginning of summer—thought about that moment more often than not. 

It’s only a matter of time.

Such a simple encouragement, but her words spurred him on. 

Freshman year was all about him finding his footing. Schroeder was determined to do even more in his sophomore year. He’d be more involved on campus. He’d find more opportunities to play the piano. He’d have his first solo this year. Schroeder wanted to come home next summer and have something to show for it. He didn’t want to disappoint; he wanted to impress Lucy.

He started by asking his roommate.

Ray cocked an eyebrow. “You wanna be the pianist for the next production?”

Schroeder agreed with a furious nod of his head. “Yes. How can I do that? Do I have to audition or something?” He had no clue how the drama and theatre sector of Juilliard ran things, but he was determined to dip his toes into the unknown.

Ray hummed in thought, tapping his chin. “I don’t really know how the music part of things work since I’m normally in front of the curtain. But if you wanna come to rehearsals some time, I could introduce you to our director?”

Schroeder grinned. “I’d love that actually if you don’t mind.” Ray waved him off. The boy sat on the bed opposite and shot Schroeder a wary look.

“But I’m gonna warn ya now, if you actually do this, it’s gonna be a lot of work. A lot of rehearsals. Are you sure you have enough time to spare on top of schoolwork, your own music, and Evelynn’s?”

Schroeder hadn’t thought about that part. The workload would be immense, that’s for sure, but something deep inside told him that he could handle it. 

It’s only a matter of time.

Schroeder nodded, a flash of determination surging through him like electricity. 

“I know. I can do it.”

Schroeder tagged along the next time Ray had rehearsals, more excited than nervous to meet this director, but they weren’t like anything he expected.

She was a student director, young and just a little younger than Schroeder but apparently still a sophomore like him and Ray. Her hair was a shade of copper red, the color a mix between Heather and Frieda’s ginger hair. Her skin was pale, almost pasty, which showcased the sprinkle of dark freckles that covered her cheeks and body.

The director shook his hand fervidly. She smiled so deeply that a single dimple poked through her right cheek. “Hi! Schroeder, right? I heard so much about you from Ray.” She extended a hand; her nails were painted a hot pink. “Name’s Cynthia, but please, call me Cindy.”

Schroeder took her hand in his gingerly and shook it with a smile. “Nice to meet you, Cindy.” The girl grinned before using that same hand to drag him elsewhere. Girls tend to do that to him, he surmised. 

“You’re literally a godsend, Schroeder. I’m out of budget and out of a pianist.”

—

October – November

“Jesus, Schroeder! I don’t have time for this! My performance is next month! We need to practice!”

Schroeder sighed heavily and rubbed his tired face. He bet if he looked in the mirror, there’d be dark circles underneath his eyes. 

He gestured towards the theatre score in his hands. “I’m sorry, Evie. Rehearsals ran a little later than normal. Opening night is almost-”

His girlfriend groaned loudly, cutting him off. “Theatre this, theatre that. I don’t care!”

Schroeder had no time to react before she grabbed the music sheets from his hands and ripped the pages in half. She threw the scraps in the air in front of him and he watched as they scattered to the floor. 

Schroeder did not yell at his girlfriend. He was too tired to and he certainly did not have the energy to fight. He would lose that fight anyways.

He simply crouched down on all fours and collected the tattered pages around their feet. Evelynn did not move to help him, only staring down at him in fuming silence. After he gathered what was left of the score, he stood back up with a sigh. The violinist had a deep scowl on her features. She crossed her arms.

“I don’t know why you even decided to be another person’s pianist. You should have been focusing on me.”

Being in her final year at Juilliard, Evelynn’s nerves have been sharpened to an edge. She was anxious and hopeful to find success after graduation. Schroeder understood her stress and was trying his absolute hardest to be patient with his girlfriend.

Schroeder’s shoulders sagged in defeat. Perhaps he bit off more than he could chew. He absentmindedly nodded, not an ounce of emotion on his face. “Yeah, you’re right.” The girl’s arms fell to her sides when he placed an apologetic kiss on her forehead. “Once this production is over, I’ll be all yours, Evie. Just bear with me for a little while longer, yeah?”

This seemed to placate the violinist for the time being. She wrapped her arms around his torso and huffed a breath into his chest. “Fine. Just stop being late to our lessons. My performance is more important.”

He sighed quietly but nodded. “Okay. I won’t be late again.”

After back-to-back rehearsals, Schroeder could pass out on the practice room floor. Unfortunately, the practice room was booked after him so he practically dragged himself back to the dorms. Ray was already there when he arrived and he stared at Schroeder with a concerned expression.

“You okay, man? You look terrible.”

Schroeder mumbled incoherently, probably something along the lines of “I’m fine” and “I want to die.” And although all he wanted to do was go to sleep, he slumped over his desk and placed the ripped up pages of the production score on top of it. Schroeder sighed at the pitiful sight before grabbing a roll of tape.

His roommate appeared behind him out of curiosity and let out a low whistle. “Shit. Is that the score? What the hell happened?”

“Evie happened,” is all that Schroeder offered as explanation. It wasn’t difficult to fill in the blanks. Ray put his hands on his hips and shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s just… insane. Practically unhinged. Schroeder, are you seriously okay putting up with this?”

“She’s just a little stressed out.”

Ray scoffed. “Aren’t we all? That doesn’t give her a pass to treat you like shit.” Schroeder shot him a look of warning and the boy backed off with raised hands. “Sorry, sorry. Just looking out for you.”

Schroeder sighed heavily and mustered up a tiny smile. “Thanks, Ray. I appreciate it.” And he meant that sincerely. “I’m okay though. Just a tad bit wrung out is all.” He held up the now taped paper with a satisfied smile. It was still legible. 

He glanced over at the calendar hanging above his desk. Just a little over a month before he could go back home. He just had to make it until then.

—

Right Before Winter Break

Both Evelynn's performance and Cindy’s small-scale production turned out to be a great success. In combination with her previous performance, several orchestras across the country had reached out to her and were interested in meeting her after she graduated. Cindy grabbed the attention of the Dean themselves and secured a pretty budget for future productions. 

Sure, Schroeder’s grades and health may have tanked slightly in order to do so, but surviving was an accomplishment in itself. At least his resume was growing longer. Now, he could go home and relax with no stress-

“Why don’t you want me coming home with you for the holidays, Schroeder? We’ve been dating for half a year now, shouldn’t we be meeting each other’s parents by now?”

Because you’ve been driving me insane these past few months, he wanted to say. He continued packing his clothes, fighting the frown that wanted to appear. His flight home was just in a few hours and he hadn’t packed a single item because of how busy he’s been. And with NYC traffic, he needed to leave campus soon to catch his flight. His roommate secretly watched on in silence, side-eyeing the couple from his side of the room as he pretended to read a comic book.

Instead, Schroeder said, “Because you wouldn’t have anything to do there besides watch TV. I’m from hillbilly country, Evie. You said so yourself.” The girl pouted and crossed her arms stubbornly. She obviously wasn’t going to let this go as easily.

“That was before, but it’s fine now. You’ll be with me to fight off the boredom.”

Schroeder let out a sigh and closed his luggage. He turned to face her with an expression that read, “Oh really?”

His girlfriend huffed, puffing a cheek out in denial. In any other scenario, the action might have been considered cute but now she was just being bratty. “I swear. I promise I won’t complain about being bored. Not once,” she promised with an extended pinky. Schroeder chuckled dryly and thought to himself, I seriously doubt that.

He grabbed her hand and folded that pinky back in place. “And I promise to call you everyday. Just like last time.” He waved goodbye to Ray to which the boy waved back, looking relieved that he was finally leaving because that meant his girlfriend would too. Schroeder walked towards the door, reaching out for the doorknob, but Evelynn blocked his way with her body.

“No. I want you to take me with you.”

She was so infuriatingly stubborn that Schroeder wanted to scream. He sighed and rubbed his temples with a free hand. “Evie, I really don’t want to fight with you right before I have to leave-”

“Then don’t fight with me. Just let me come with you.” 

He opened his eyes with a cold look. “Evelynn. No.” His tone was firm. That was his final answer. His girlfriend frowned and tears pricked the corner of her eyes. She wasn’t used to being told no. 

Jesus, was she seriously going to cry?

Schroeder sighed for the umpteenth time. His eyes softened as he grabbed her hand, rubbing the tight muscles with his thumb. 

“How about this? When I get back, I’ll go meet your parents, yeah? Does that sound good to you?” Her face melted into a happy grin. She nodded and wiped away her unfallen tears.

“Yes! What a fantastic idea! I’ll tell them as soon as you leave and plan a nice dinner!”

Good grief. Schroeder had a feeling he was going to regret promising that. 

—

Sophomore Year, Winter Break, Part I

A light flurry of snow rained all around, adding onto the layers of snow piled up at the lake’s edges. Schroeder couldn’t feel his face as snowflakes continually kissed his skin. It was freezing, but at least the sun was out. 

“Pass the puck!” Schroeder obeyed Franklin’s frantic screams and hit the black disk towards him. He passes it right in time before Peppermint Patty’s body slammed into him roughly, knocking him to the ice. His helmet just about saves him from a nasty concussion, but his skull still vibrated painfully from the impact. Schroeder’s body glided a few feet across the ice. He groaned and made no attempt to stand up.

The game ends when Franklin scores, but there’s little celebration as Schroeder’s team hurriedly skates to him. “Foul! You can’t just tackle people in hockey, Patty!” Charlie Brown scolded, lightly shoving the aggressor out of the way. The boy comes to an abrupt stop in front of his collapsed body, his skates scraping up ice as he breaks. He helped Schroeder take off his helmet. “You okay there, bud?”

Schroeder shot him a pained smile and a rocky thumbs up. “Fine. Nothing broken,” he grunted through clenched teeth. At least, that’s what he liked to think. The side of his body that hit the ice screamed out in protest when he forced himself to sit up. Charlie Brown was immediately at his side, placing a supportive hand on his back. He shot Patty another sharp look.

Peppermint Patty threw her arms up in the air exasperatedly. “I didn’t mean to! I just couldn’t stop in time!” Charlie opened his mouth up in retaliation, but Schroeder shot him down with a wave.

“It was just an accident, Charlie. I’m fine. Please don’t fight.” His head unexpectedly pulsed, causing him to grip it with a groan. “Ugh. I don’t think I should play hockey anymore today though.”

Pigpen laughed. “Poor Schroeder. Always getting brutalized by Patty. Tsk tsk.” Shermy snickered and elbowed his friend, egging him on rather than trying to stop him. The girl glared at the dynamic duo. 

Franklin sighed and shook his head. With the help of Charlie Brown, the two lift Schroeder off the ice and back onto two shaky feet. “Yeah, definitely no more hockey for you,” Franklin chuckled, lightening the mood.

“Good thing I was the one that drove today. I’ll go take him home.” Charlie Brown aided him to the car like he was an intoxicated man, guiding him to the passenger seat and even buckling up his seatbelt. Peppermint Patty followed closely behind.

“Sorry, Schroeder,” Patty apologized in embarrassment, her face red like a tomato’s. “I got carried away. Again.”

Schroeder smiled. He dismissed her, “It’s seriously okay, Patts. Accidents happen.”

After a promise to reschedule, Charlie Brown drove him home, extra careful to not make any sharp turns. Schroeder’s parents don’t even question him when he arrives home in a disarray, immediately noting the way he clutched the side of his head. His father just sighed while his mother ran to the kitchen to grab some medicine and presumably an ice pack. Charlie helps him up the stairs and into his bedroom, setting him down onto the bed carefully.

“Thanks. I think I might have tumbled down the stairs if you weren’t here.” His friend grinned pridefully and placed his hands on his hips.

“Anytime.” The phone suddenly rang and Schroeder winced at the sudden loud noise, covering his ears. “Stay there. I got it.” Charlie Brown rushed to answer it. 

Thank goodness for- Hold on. Had he called Evelynn today yet? 

His eyes widened.

“Charlie, wait-”

“Hello? Huh? Calm down a sec. Who am I? Who are you? Jesus, can you stop yelling? I can barely understand you.”

Schroeder’s stomach sank. Shit.

His friend froze and slowly turned to him. Schroeder gulped. He couldn’t read his expression. Charlie didn’t break eye contact as he spoke. “Gotcha. Yeah. I’m a friend. Yes, I’m obviously a guy. No, I’m not lying. Mhm. Yup, he’s right here. Lemme pass the phone.” 

He extended the phone towards him, the cord stretching all the way. In a flat tone, he said, “It’s your girlfriend.”

Shit.

Schroeder warily accepted the phone and brought it to his ear. “H-hello?” 

He should have known to brace himself.

“Schroeder! Why haven’t you called me yet?! Do you know what time it is?!” Schroeder winced and glanced at the clock. It honestly wasn’t even that late, but NYC’s time zone was ahead of his town’s. Evelynn would be preparing for bed by now. 

It didn’t matter what he would say though, as the girl was already reminding him, “I’m about to go to sleep and you haven’t called me yet! Like—fine—maybe you were busy or whatever so I call you like the amazing girlfriend I am and instead of you, your friend is the one answering your private phone!”

Evelynn was yelling so loudly that you could clearly hear what she was saying without having the phone to your ear. Charlie Brown took a seat at the desk and crossed his arms, listening on silently. He clearly wasn’t planning on leaving or granting Schroeder a sanction of privacy. Schroeder sighed and closed his eyes, accepting his fate.

“Sorry, Evie. I just got home from playing hockey. My friend, his name is Charlie, he drove me. I was gonna call you after I showered.”

The girl huffed and he could imagine her displeased face. “Yeah, sure. Whatever, Schroeder. I’ll let you off the hook this one time since your friend is with you. But I’m expecting a call bright and early, you hear me?!”

Schroeder sighed in relief and nodded in agreement. “Sure. I’ll talk to you in the morning. Good night, Evie.”

“G’night, Schroeder.” He let her hang up first. 

The line went dead and his ears started ringing from the sudden silence. Charlie Brown, still quiet, gestured for Schroeder to hand him the phone and placed it back in its spot. He leaned back in the chair with narrowed eyes. Schroeder felt as though he was about to be put through investigation. He wouldn’t lie this time.

“How long have you two been dating?”

“Since the end of March.”

“So half a year.”

“... I guess so.”

Charlie Brown sighed heavily. He unfolded his arms and leaned onto his knees. Disappointment painted the boy’s features. “And you, what? Didn’t want to tell your best friend that you got a girlfriend?” Schroeder looked away embarrassingly. 

“I didn’t think to bring it up-”

His best friend shot up from his seat. “Bullshit! You lied about not having one! I remember talking about it last summer! When was it? It was that night we all went to dinner and you and Lucy were-” He paused as if he was actively reliving that night. The boy let out a humorless chuckle. He snapped and waved an accusing finger down at Schroeder. 

Schroeder did not dare breathe.

“You still like Lucy.”

Schroeder’s eyes widened. Shock was an inadequate description of what he felt upon hearing those words. 

Him still having feelings for Lucy? She was his first relationship, sure, but he was with Evelynn now. And although his girlfriend could be a little much, he liked Evelynn. He had kissed her.

“What are you talking about? No I don’t-”

Charlie Brown laughed, “Yes. Yes you do, Schroeder.” He began pacing back and forth. He was bug-eyed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Wow. I get it now. Why you always insisted on going home early during the summer. Always asking to use the phone if you were at my house late. I get it.”

Schroeder rolled his eyes and forced himself to stand, ignoring the way his head begged him to sit back down. “Okay, fine. I hid the fact that I had a girlfriend. How does that correlate with me still liking Lucy van Pelt?” 

Because seriously, he was dying to know.

Charlie Brown stared at him incredulously. He stopped pacing and placed his hands on his hips like a disappointed parent. He shook his head, letting his head fall to look down at the floor. He sighed when he looked back up. 

“One: you hid the fact that you even had a new girlfriend. Two: you actively lied about having one. And three and the most important one: you obviously enjoyed talking to Lucy during dinner last summer.”

Schroeder groaned in frustration, rubbing his face. “But I like Evely- my girlfriend. That’s why I’m dating her.” He didn’t know where Charlie was going with this. Yeah, speaking with Lucy was great—fun, even—but that didn’t mean he still liked her.

His friend looked even more exhausted with this ordeal than Schroeder was. He pointed at him with praying hands. 

“I’m not doubting that you like her, Schroeder. I’m just saying that it’s possible to like two people at once. And before you yell at me, tell me this, did you completely lose feelings for Lucy right after the two of you broke up?” When Schroeder didn’t answer, Charlie nodded like he got the confirmation he was searching for. There was a sad smile on his face. A look of pity. “Exactly.”

Schroeder’s brows furrowed as he digested his friend’s wise wisdom. Did he really still like Lucy? He didn’t want to admit it, but it made perfect sense when he truly thought it out. 

The giddiness he felt when he talked to her. The way her lily-scented hair made his chest constrict when he got too close. The way he inadvertently compared Lucy and Evelynn or simply being reminded of his ex when his girlfriend did something similar.

And he still hadn’t gotten rid of the piano box and necklace, the two pieces of metal sitting on his desk serving as a constant reminder whenever he was home.

He fell back onto his bed with a feeling that felt like complete and utter devastation. He clutched his heart as if it was pierced.

Sweet Jesus. I still have feelings for Lucy van Pelt.

He covered his face with his hands and folded in on himself. Charlie Brown sat down beside him and awkwardly patted his back. 

Head still tucked away, his voice is muffled when he asks, “What the hell do I do now?” Wasn’t a revelation supposed to bring clarity? Then why did he feel more lost than anything?

“Well,” Charlie Brown started off slowly, “I’m not going to tell you what to do. But what I will say is that it’s not fair to… Evie that you’re dating her if you still like Lucy.”

Schroeder looked up from his hands and gave him a wary look. “So you’re saying I should break up with my girlfriend.” Charlie Brown raised his hands up in defense. You said it, not me. Schroeder groaned and retreated back into his open palms.

Charlie stands after a final reassuring pat on the back. “I’m gonna head out now. I won’t tell the others about your… predicament . But hey, it’s winter break and you won’t be seeing your girlfriend for a couple more weeks, so don’t beat yourself up too hard over it, man.” He tapped his temple. “Just remember what I said and think about it.” 

He excused himself, leaving Schroeder alone with more than just troubling thoughts.

—

Winter Break, Part II

With Mr. and Mrs. Brown being called away for a family emergency, the siblings spent their Christmases elsewhere. Charlie Brown was with Schroeder’s family, seated next to Schroeder as he freely conversed with his dad about sports. Sally Brown, on the other hand, was with her boyfriend’s family next door.

“I was thinking to myself, ‘Lord, how am I—a freshman—gonna win this game for us?’ And then, boom!” Charlie Brown pretended to swing a bat. Schroeder listened on in amusement as his best friend recalled his highlight of the season. “I hit a home run! I was watching that ball fly through the air like it was some sort of UFO because I couldn’t believe that I actually did it. But when my coach started yelling at me to run, I just-” 

The doorbell rang, interrupting Charlie Brown’s animated recollection. Schroeder’s brows furrowed. Who would be showing up unannounced on Christmas Eve? Plus, it was snowing so hard outside that it was practically a blizzard. 

Schroeder’s mother stood, but he urged her to sit back down. “I got it. Just keep telling your story, Charlie. I’ll be right back.” His friend nodded absentmindedly and turned back to his dad who was deeply invested in anything baseball. Schroeder chuckled to himself and made his way to the front door. When he opened it, his eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

“L-Lucy?! Wha- what are you doing here? ”

She was standing at the door, absolutely being pelted by the elements. She looked positively freezing. The tip of her nose and the apples of her cheeks were pretty pink. White flecks of snow coated her long lashes. She was wearing a white bonnet with a long brown trench coat secured tightly at the waist. In her gloved hands was a glass container covered with tinfoil.

She bit a smile, her teeth clattering from the cold. “H-hi, Schroeder. Merry Chri-Christmas Eve.” She raised the tray towards him shakily. “I m-made too much food.”

Schroeder stared down at her with a flabbergasted expression. Once he finally realized that he wasn’t dreaming and Lucy van Pelt was actually at his front door, he stepped aside hurriedly. He reached over her and pushed the screen door open. He frantically ushered her in with a gentle push to her upper back. “Please come in before you turn to ice on my porch.”

Lucy blinked in surprise but let herself be guided inside. “Oh. O-okay. Thank you.”

Schroeder led her further into his house like he’d done many times before. The padding of her light steps were like tiny echoes of his own feet. He felt like Orpheus with Lucy following behind him. He gulped and forced himself to keep his eyes forward, afraid that his Eurydice might run away or disappear if he dared turn around. 

His mind was blank as he approached the dining room.

“There was another time when I-” Charlie Brown paused when Schroeder returned, now with Lucy in tow. His mouth froze in an open position. 

Lucy sheepishly smiled and offered a timid hello. Schroeder’s mom immediately stood to greet the surprise guest, accepting the food with gratitude. With her hands freed, the girl clasped them together.

“Sorry for disrupting your dinner. I’ll be taking my leave now.” Lucy turned to leave, not even sparing Schroeder a glance, when his mom stopped her.

“Oh please, Lucy. Stay for a plate at least. I’ve missed your company!”

Schroeder’s face flushed. “Mom, I don’t know. You know me and Lucy…” Aren’t dating. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, his face unbearingly hot. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.

His mom waved a dismissal. She gingerly cupped Lucy’s hands in hers. “Nonsense. I’ve known Little Lucy since you two were just knee-high. She’s practically family.” He watched in horror as his mom led Lucy to the empty seat next to Schroeder’s before settling in on her side of the table with Schroeder’s dad. Lucy obediently and quietly sat down, looking just as flustered as he was. 

This was so messed up.

Left with no other choice, Schroeder resumed his seat. He was tense. This was different from having casual dinner with friends. This was dinner with his family on Christmas Eve. Spending a holiday together felt wholly intimate. Something only couples would do. 

Charlie Brown’s torrid gaze pierced the side of his skull, reminding Schroeder of their recent talk. 

You still like Lucy.

He had pushed the memory of their conversation into the far depths of his mind. He wasn’t planning on confronting his screwed up reality until after the break. But he couldn’t exactly ignore it if Lucy was sitting right next to him.

Why the hell did he let her come inside- No, he was just being polite. It would have been worse if he let her walk home in that weather. It was his own mother- Well, no. Of course she wouldn’t let Lucy go home in this weather either. Even more so that she was courteous enough to bring them food, extras or not.

Schroeder flexed his jaw. Whatever. I just need to sit here and eat dinner. I won’t even have to talk to her. Just pretend your ex isn’t even there.

Easier said than done when a floral aroma overpowered the smell of food.

His mother made small talk with the girl to his left, college and everything they spoke of last summer, as she unveiled the new dish at the center of the table. Mac and cheese.

Schroeder salivated at the sight. He had plenty of personal experiences with Lucy’s extraordinary cooking, especially her oven-baked mac and cheese. And he knew it would be the best thing he ate tonight—no offense to his mother’s food, of course.

He reached for the serving spoon like a moth to a flame. His hand brushes Lucy’s as she does the same. They both immediately retract, like touching each other’s skin caused an electric shock. Perhaps, hypothetically, it did.

“You go first,” they say at the same time. And again with a, “No, you.”

Following the trend, both of their faces light up red simultaneously. He could feel the curious, dangerously hopeful, glances of his parents from across the table. This was so humiliating. Schroeder wanted to slam his head into the table repeatedly if only to alleviate the uncomfortable shifting of his stomach.

Being the mature one from the two of them, Lucy giggles—albeit nervously—and reaches out for the serving spoon again. “Here.”

She placed a heaping spoonful of gloriously cheesy mac and cheese onto his plate. It makes a delightful squelching noise when it lands on the plate. She proceeded to do the same to the others before adding some to her own plate.

Schroeder stared at her as she worked quickly and effectively. He couldn’t help but notice that his serving was slightly bigger than everyone else’s. Or maybe he was just being delusional and choosing what he wanted to see.

What did he want to see? Did it… excite him to think that Lucy was treating him better than everyone else?

Yes, yes it did.

A harsh cough came from his right. Schroeder temporarily averted his gaze off of Lucy and at his best friend. He raised a brow accusingly. Caught you. Schroeder’s face grew hot again as he opted to look down at his plate. He quickly shoveled the mac and cheese into his mouth, letting the savory taste distract him from bigger issues.

A giggle. Schroeder slowly turned his head at the sweet noise. Lucy was staring at him with an amused smile. Her smile grew into a toothy grin. “I see that mac and cheese is still your favorite.”

Now he really wanted to end it all.

His face turned a deeper shade of red as he forcefully swallowed the food in his mouth. He hurriedly wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Y-yeah. Mac and cheese. It’s um- still my favorite.” Lucy bit her lip to keep herself from laughing before taking a bite of her cooking. Schroeder clenched the fork in his hand tightly. If he gripped it any tighter, he might have bent the poor utensil.

Kill me now.

Thankfully, dinner finished with no more embarrassing slip-ups. Schroeder and Charlie Brown are put on dish duty while Lucy and his mom clean up the table. The two women spoke to each other in a low voice as they worked. Were they talking about me? Schroeder grew exceedingly curious but it was impossible to hear what they were saying with the sink water running.

Charlie Brown ran an elbow into his side. The boy shot him a disapproving look. “You gonna help me or are you just going to keep gawking at your ex?”

“I- I’m not gawking,” Schroeder sputtered defensively. He narrowed his eyes and brought his voice down to a whisper, “And keep your voice down. She’s going to hear you and your loud mouth.”

Charlie huffed as he scrubbed at a stain on a stubborn plate. He did not listen. “Uh huh. What’s the matter? Scared that she’s gonna find out you still-”

He slapped a soggy hand over his friend’s mouth. Schroeder glared at him. “Save the mean jokes for Pigpen and Shermy, will you?” 

Charlie merely rolled his eyes before slapping his hand off. 

“Gross. But you can’t deny that-” He paused to lower his voice this time. “You can’t deny that you weren’t staring Lucy down with those big, blue puppy eyes of yours during dinner.”

Schroeder shook his head with a frown. He took one of the clean plates and placed it on the drying rack. He glanced over to the dining room and smiled when he saw Lucy laughing with his mom. His heart clenched around nothing, his smile replaced with a frown once more. How was he supposed to make these feelings go away when even just the sound of her laugh made him happy?

He and Charlie Brown finish the dishes in silence while the sound of Christmas specials and light chattering continue in the next room. Once finished, they make their way to the living room where it looked like Lucy was having a not-so comfortable conversation with his parents.

“I’ll be fine, really. I made the walk here, I can do it again.”

“What’s going on?” Schroeder interrupts. His mom goes on to explain how Lucy intended to go home despite the weather raging on outside. And of course, his mom offered for her to stay the night or at least until the snow lets up.

“Well, I could just drive her back home-”

His suggestion is quickly shut down by his dad who tells him that it’s too dangerous to drive even if Lucy’s house was just down the street. 

Schroeder sighed and turned to Lucy. She’s already staring at him with a wary look, chewing on her bottom lip. She was waiting to see what he would say. He sighed heavily.

“You can sleep in my room, Lucy. I’ll sleep on the couch-” Charlie Brown nudged him.

“Where am I gonna sleep then?” 

Schroeder looked at his friend in exasperation. “On the other couch obviously.” He gestured towards the loveseat that was definitely much too small for either of them.

“Well, I’m the one who’s here unexpectedly, shouldn’t I be the one sleeping on the couch?” Lucy interjected. Schroeder gave her an even more exhausted look than he gave Charlie Brown.

“Lucy. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.” The girl frowned.

“But-”

“Come on,” Schroeder instructed, cutting her off. He stood at the bottom stair and gestured to go upstairs with a tilt of his head. “I’ll show you to my room.” 

“Okay…”

Lucy followed him up the stairs quietly. He felt Charlie Brown’s questioning gaze on him the entire time he ascended to which he dutifully ignored.

When they reached the outside of his room, Lucy asked, “Why your bedroom? Can’t I just use the guest room?” Schroeder sighed and opened the door adjacent to his room, revealing a room full of boxes and unused furniture. 

“Oh.”

Schroeder let out a chuckle and closed the door. “Yeah. Guest room is a storage room since we don’t really have family or friends come around often. So unless you find cardboard boxes a comfortable mattress, then my room is really the only option.” He then opened his own bedroom door. 

It was weird to see Lucy in his bedroom. Not only because they weren’t dating anymore, but because this was also her first time here. If you don’t count the oddly realistic hallucination he had of her the last time he was sick.

Schroeder let her walk around and explore his room while he rummaged through his drawers for something that she could wear. He eventually found an old shirt from middle school and a pair of drawstring pajama pants. They would still probably be too big for her, but they shouldn’t fall right off at the very least.

He turned with the set of clothes and found Lucy holding the piano box in her hands. He blanched. He had totally forgotten that he kept it so out in the open.

Lucy gave him a sad smile. “You still kept this?” 

He blinked, keeping his face neutral. “Of course I did.” 

Schroeder placed the clean clothes on the bed and approached her slowly. She didn’t move. He gingerly grabbed the miniature piano from her hands, careful to not accidentally touch her, and sighed. He twisted the crank twice and let its short melody play. He smiled down at the tiny thing before setting it back on the desk. 

“Why would I throw away the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten?” Lucy did not respond and Schroeder was glad for it; he didn’t want to know what she had to say about it. He turned back around and gestured toward the clothes he had picked out for her. “If you want to wear something different, you’re free to pick out whatever from my drawers. The bathroom is just down the hall too. It’s the only other door you haven’t opened yet. Oh, and you can use the phone to tell your parents that you’re staying the night. Wouldn’t want Linus coming and murdering me in my sleep.”

Schroeder turned to leave, letting Lucy have her privacy. He opens the door just as Lucy thanks him, “Thank you, Schroeder.” Such simple words coated with nostalgic tenderness. He hated how his chest tightened as an automatic response. He nodded.

“Goodnight, Lucy.”

Schroeder woke up on Christmas Day freezing and with a stiff back. He could see the colorful sunrise peeking through the window and into his eyes. It stopped snowing. Charlie Brown was still passed out on the loveseat, half his lanky body hanging off of it and snoring loudly. His parents must still be asleep as well, the house still with silence. Quietly, he crept up the stairs. He wondered if Lucy was still asleep too, but his question was answered when he saw his bedroom door wide open.

He didn’t know when, but Lucy had already left. His clothes she had worn to sleep were neatly folded and sitting on his desk right beside the piano box and necklace. His bed was made too.

It was like she was never even there, but the sickly sweet smell of lilies that clung onto the sheets and in the air told him otherwise.

—

Sophomore Year, Spring Semester, February

Charlie Brown’s words haunted him every time he saw his girlfriend’s face. 

It was so bad that Schroeder started to see Lucy’s face instead. And that was pretty messed up. No girl should have their boyfriend imagining his ex’s face on their own. He knew that made him a terrible boyfriend, but he just couldn’t help it.

This sick revelation at least helped him realize one thing. That he had feelings for Evelynn only because she reminded him of Lucy in ways more than one.

And that he was seriously the worst.

Schroeder should have broken up with Evelynn the moment he returned from break, but instead, he took her on more dates than he had done before and even fulfilled his promise of meeting her parents. He took her around in his car. His theory was that, maybe he could like his girlfriend for real if he spent more time with her outside of school. Maybe then he would like Evelynn for her and not just the idea of her.

The only problem was, Evelynn preferred to spend most of their time practicing.

His girlfriend groaned and pushed her plate away. She pouted at Schroeder who, unlike her, was enjoying his pizza. He raised a brow, still chewing his food. “What’s the matter?”

She made a disgusted expression, eyes scrunched and tongue sticking out. “Why couldn’t we have just gotten dinner at school? This is too greasy.”

Bleh. Too greasy.

Schroeder harshly swallowed before wiping his mouth with a napkin. He cleared his throat, “Okay, um- Do you want to go eat dinner somewhere else?” She shook her head, still pouting.

“No. I just want to go back. Can we go and practice again?”

Schroeder sighed. “We practiced right before we left. Can’t we just do it some other time? Besides, I don’t even have another time slot for today.”

Evelynn sunk into her seat and crossed her arms. “We can just practice in your dorm. I’m sure your roommate wouldn’t mind.” Oh, I’m sure Ray would mind. 

Schroeder inhaled sharply and reminded himself to have patience. His girlfriend was just severely stressed with her graduation coming up. This was going to be her final performance as a Juilliard student afterall.

“Okay… Let’s just finish dinner—maybe grab dessert—and then we can-”

She banged a fist on the table. She scowled. “Dammit, Schroeder. I want to go back now!” Her sudden outburst silences not only Schroeder, but the people sitting around them. He felt their looks of pity on him. 

I don’t want your pity. 

Schroeder stood without a word and tossed a generous twenty on the table. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rolled his shoulders back. He gestured to the door with a nod of his head. “Fine. Let’s get going then.”

Evelynn’s sour mood is immediately lifted upon getting her way. The restaurant patrons stared at her in disbelief, but the girl was either oblivious to their disapproving looks or decided to ignore them altogether. 

He drove them back to Juilliard and parked his car at the nearby student garage. Evelynn is as happy as can be all the way to the dorms. Schroeder sighed and muttered an advanced apology to Ray.

—

March

Ray laughed loudly and patted Schroeder on the back. “That’s fantastic, man! You’re gonna absolutely rock this!” Schroeder sheepishly grinned.

Just last month, he attended a closed audition to be the opening act for a medium-scale pianist. He wouldn’t have even known about the audition if it weren’t for one of his professors. Apparently, he was one of the few students out of the list of graduated professionals that were given the chance to audition. It was on a whim—only had two weeks to practice—but Schroeder knew that this wasn’t an opportunity he wanted to miss. Even if he wasn’t chosen, at least he had tried.

But unexpectedly, he was picked, just notified about the news by his professor earlier that day.

Schroeder was ecstatic, practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. This would be his first solo performance on a professional stage. Opener or not, he didn’t care. This was a big step in the right direction.

He’d come home this summer with something to show.

Schroeder and his roommate talked a little more about the upcoming performance like where was the venue, when was it, and what piece would he play. 

“And what about your girlfriend? Does she know that you got this new gig?” Ray questioned. Schroeder froze. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well- Evie doesn’t know… yet.” 

Ray shot him a troubled look. “Schroeder…”

Schroeder groaned and put his hands up defensively. “I know, I know. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t even think I’d get the job.”

“But you did,” the boy commented pointedly. 

And just like that, Schroeder’s good mood was ultimately crushed. He sighed and covered his face with a pillow. Muffled, he asked, “What am I supposed to tell her?”

“Uh… You tell her that you have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Hope that helps.”

It didn’t.

Schroeder jolted up. He ran a stressed hand through his hair. “Oh good Lord, she’s going to kill me. I promised her that she would be my main priority until she graduates.” 

Ray crossed to his side of the room and sat at his desk, swirling the chair to face him with a deadpan expression. “Why would Evelynn be mad at you for taking this? If she’s a good girlfriend—or a good friend in general—she would be happy for you.” 

It’s only a matter of time.

Schroeder winced and averted his gaze. He knew that his roommate was right; Evelynn should be happy for him. But the question was: would she actually?

When Schroeder didn’t respond, Ray sighed heavily. He spun in a slow circle as if debating what to say. Eventually, the boy asked, “Why are you dating a girl who won’t support you, Schroeder?”

“I-” Schroeder paused and sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

Ray moved from the desk chair to the empty spot on the bed. Schroeder still wouldn’t look at him; he knew what expression he’d find. Charlie Brown gave him the same look all the time.

“Can I ask you a question?” Schroeder nodded silently. “Do you see a future with Evelynn?”

A future? If Schroeder was being honest, he saw dating Evelynn as something you take day-by-day. Instance-by-instance. He never knew what mood she’d be in on the days they met. Plus her mood was equally as erratic and could change with a single wrong word. 

The future wasn’t something he had the luxury of thinking about when it came to her.

His confession comes out quiet but firm. “No. No, I don’t.” Schroeder finally looked over at his roommate when he went to stand up with an exaggerated stretch.

“Well, you should tell her the good news. And if she doesn’t think it to be good like how you presume, I think you know what you have to do, man.”

Schroeder gulped and nodded.

The girls' dorm was just the next building over, but it felt like an eternity to get there. The racing of Schroeder’s heart was like a war drum. His footsteps followed the rhythm and the sound pulsed loudly in his eardrums. 

Boys weren’t allowed in the girls’ dormitory, but no one really followed the rule, so Schroeder entered the dorms with little to no attention from the residents. Infiltrating the building was one thing, but finding Evelynn’s room was another.

He paused in the middle of the second floor hallway and cursed to himself. Why didn’t he know his girlfriend’s room number?

Because you never cared to ask.

Before he could beat himself up over it, a girl exited a nearby room. She spots Schroeder pacing up and down the hallway and hesitantly approaches him.

“Excuse me.” Schroeder spun to face her. “Are you Schroeder perhaps? The piano major?” 

His brows furrowed as he examined the girl’s face. He was certain he had never seen her face in one of his classes, nevermind having met her before. But then how did she know him? And down to what major he was too? “Uh… yeah? Do we know each other?”

“N-no. I mean, I know of you, but we’ve never met.” Know of him? Had he done something to gain her attention at school? The girl flushed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She was obviously flustered. Did he offend her somehow? 

“Okay…”

“S-sorry!” The girl abruptly apologized, confusing Schroeder even more. He flinched at her sudden intensity. “You must be trying to find Evelynn, huh? She’s two floors up. Room 409.”

He didn’t know how this random girl knew who his girlfriend was either, but he was thankful she did as it saved him a lot of trouble. Schroeder offered her a small smile before jogging back to the elevators. “Thanks!”

He rode the elevator up to the 4th floor, his nerves building up once again. The elevator opened with a ding. His shoes felt like they were filled with lead, but Schroeder forced himself to step out. His heartbeats beat faster with each door he passed.

406, 407, 408.

There was the faint sound of the violin on the other side.

Schroeder stood in front of Evelynn’s door and hesitated. Should he really do this? Maybe he could still do his performance without her knowing? There wouldn’t be any issues as long as he was able to continue his scheduled rehearsals with her.

He stepped back away from her door, but just as he’s about to walk away, the door opened. A sleepy-eyed girl, probably the same age as his girlfriend, appeared. She rubbed her eyes and blinked several times as if she didn’t fully comprehend that Schroeder was standing in front of her. Eventually though, she did speak.

“Evie, your boyfriend is here,” the girl said casually over her shoulder. The sound of the violin stopped at the announcement. She yawned without covering her mouth as she squeezed past Schroeder. “I’m gonna be in the lobby since you’re not done practicing.” The girl sluggishly walked down the hallway. She grumbled, “Maybe then I can get some goddamn sleep.”

Evelynn materialized in front of him soon after her sleep-deprived roommate left. She looked surprised that he was here, but he caught a tick of a suppressed smile. “Schroeder? What are you doing here?” 

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Can I come in?” 

She smirked before stepping to the side, opening the door wider. “By all means.”

No turning back now.

Schroeder stepped inside. His eyes immediately scanned her side of the room. Despite the four years of attending Juilliard, her room was pretty much bare. The only thing hanging from her wall was a heavily marked up calendar. Her bed sheets were plain white with black silk pillows. The combo reminded him of a set of piano keys. Her violin case was spread open across the bed; a music stand stood in the corner. Evelynn’s room was practical in every sense of the word.

Amongst his examination, Schroeder didn’t hear the soft shutting of the door. Nor did he notice the way his girlfriend crept behind him as nimble as a cat. He yelped when he’s roughly shoved onto the bed, barely missing the fragile violin by a hair

His eyes widened in shock when his girlfriend climbed on top of him, her thighs straddling him on both sides. “E-Evelynn?!”

She grinned a cat-like smile before latching onto his neck. Schroeder froze while she poked and prodded at his skin with her tongue. As far as intimacy goes, they had never done anything more than kiss, so being suddenly bombarded with this came as more than a shock. 

What the fuck is happening?

He kept his hands glued to her bed sheets, his fists curling around them for purchase. It wasn’t as though he wasn’t physically attracted to his girlfriend, but making out was the last thing he had on his mind right now.

When Schroeder didn’t react to her advances—didn’t as much let out a single moan—Evelynn bit down on his collarbone. Hard. A high cry left his throat and it was by instinct to throw the girl off of him. She wasn’t hurt but landed next to him on the bed with a breathy oof.

Schroeder shot up before she could trap him between her thighs again. He gripped his collarbone with a pained grimace, his skin hot as blood bruised beneath the abused area. He peeked underneath his shirt and found the imprint of her teeth. The mark was a dark red but there was at least no bleeding. 

Still, Schroeder stared at his girlfriend in horror. “What the actual fuck, Evie?”

His girlfriend leaned back on her forearms and grinned. It wasn’t an embarrassed sort of grin from the fact he rejected her, it was the type of mischievous smile that screamed “And what are you going to do about it?”  

Schroeder frowned. Evelynn had found joy in hurting him.

“Aw. Don’t be like that, baby,” she cooed patronizingly. She swiftly stood and wrapped her arms around his torso. She rocked them back and forth as if she was trying to soothe a newborn. He did not reciprocate her hug and instead stared down at her. She looked so tiny compared to him, but Schroeder was the one that felt small in this relationship.

Her hands left his back, sliding them slowly to his front and down, creeping closer and closer to-

Schroeder stopped both of her hands with his one. He shot her with a look of warning. “Don’t.”

His girlfriend huffed and pushed him away. If he weren’t already on edge, he might have stumbled back. She crossed her arms and sat down. “I’m assuming you’re not here to practice since I don’t see a keyboard on you. And if you’re not here to have some fun, then what are you here for then, Schroeder?”

His eyes hardened and so did his resolve. He had to tell her. “I wanted to tell you something. It’s important… To me.”

Although he clarified that it was important, she didn’t look at all interested. She waved for him to continue with a nonchalant expression. “Okay? Spit it out then. Hurry up because I need to practice some more.”

Schroeder sighed and pulled out her desk chair then sitting in it. He took a deep breath before saying, “One of my piano professors told me to audition for an upcoming performance… and I got the job.” He was not met with great fanfare as Ray did. Not even a congratulations. Evelynn raised a brow.

“And?”

And. He just landed his first solo gig in his professional career, and all his girlfriend had to say for it was, “And.”

Disappointment ran cold in his veins. He had already expected this lukewarm reaction, but it still hurt nonetheless.

“And,” Schroeder continued, “that means I’ll be busy preparing for it. I-” He paused to take another breath, preparing himself. “I won’t have as much time to practice with you.” And just as he also expected, Evelynn did not like that.

She sprang up onto her feet. Her face scrunched together in a scowl, her arms crossed across her chest. “What do you mean?” 

Schroeder sighed, feeling a fight coming on. “I’ll still practice with you for your performance, Evie. I just also need extra time for my own-”

“No,” she cuts off, “Tell them you can’t do the job.”

Schroeder blinked at her in disbelief. Surely, he didn’t hear her correctly. He let out a strained chuckle. “What?”

Evelynn doubles down, “You heard me. Tell them you changed your mind and can’t do it.” Schroeder shook his head, still in shock. He stood.

“You can’t be serious, Evie. This is huge for me. You can’t just expect me to-”

“And what about me, Schroeder?!” She jammed a finger into his chest. “You promised me that this semester you’d focus on me . No distractions. This is my last performance before I graduate!”

He grabbed her hands so that she’d stop poking him. “And I understand that I promised you that. I’m sorry. But I couldn’t just give up an opportunity like this. I-” he choked. “I thought you’d be more supportive of my dreams.” Like how I am with yours.

Evelynn was silent for a moment before she gently wrangled her hands from his. She wrapped those hands around his neck and nuzzled against his chest. Had they… reached an understanding? Could their relationship be saved after all? Schroeder relaxed and loosened; he placed his hands on her hips. With a relieved sigh, he pressed the side of his face atop her head.

“Can’t you just be content being my accompanist?” 

What? Every ounce of hope left his body with that one question.

Schroeder stilled in his girlfriend’s warm embrace. He slowly pried himself from her, his hands on her shoulders. She stared up at him with big, pleading eyes. “What… what did you just say?”

Evelynn sighed. “Stop worrying about your career as a pianist. If you just focused on being my accompanist, I could support the both of us with my solo career. Wouldn’t that be enough?” She caressed his face softly, the rough pads of her thumbs stroking his cheekbones. It was an action that showed care and compassion, but he only felt blatant manipulation. He shirked away from her touch.

“No- What? Evelynn, I-” Schroeder began pacing back and forth. His vision grew blurry, his breathing ragged. He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s not a future I want for myself, Evie. I’m not in Juilliard to be- to your sidekick!” 

The mask of sweetness fell off of his girlfriend’s face, revealing a hateful sneer. He blinks and in a matter of a second, he’s suddenly facing away from her. His ears ring. Heat blossoms on the side of his face. Hot tears gather at the corner of his eyes. He places a hand to his cheek, more so out of disbelief rather than pain.

Evelynn yanks the hand off his face, forcing him to look at her. The amount of pure rage in her eyes is one that Schroeder had only seen on one person before and it had also resulted in him getting physically hurt. His girlfriend seethes, “You are so fucking selfish.”

Schroeder doesn’t fight her when she drags him by the forearm, her grip so tight that it could actually bruise, and tosses him outside of her room like a common stray dog. “We are fucking through! You hear me, Schroeder? Through!” she yells right before slamming the door in his face.

Curious heads peek out of the other doors, wanting to get a look at who caused the violin prodigy’s wrath this time. Schroeder walked to the elevator in silence. Others would have called it a walk of shame, but it felt more freeing than anything. 

If only his face didn’t sting.

He stepped out of the elevator with a little more pep in his step. He spotted his ex’s roommate curled up on a couch. He disrupted her nap, tapping her on the shoulder with an apologetic smile. “Evelynn just broke up with me. You could probably go back up there in 15 minutes or so. Y’know, after she’s done venting.” The roommate looked up at him in silent shock, staring down his back until he finally exited the girls’ dormitories.

When he arrived back in his own dorm, Schroeder fell back on his bed with a sigh. Ray sat up with a grin. “You look happy. I’m guessing you and your girlfriend worked it out?”

“Yup,” Schroeder answered with a dramatic pop. He put his hands behind his head and settled deeper into the bed. “She broke up with me.”

—

April

Dear Schroeder,

It’s your Evie again-

He crumpled up the letter and tossed it into the trash. The crumpled paper hit a near identical one at the top of the trash. He’d need to take out the trash again. And so soon.

He’s been avoiding his ex like the plague. He took different routes to class, didn’t eat in the cafeteria at his usual times, and he even went out of the way to cover up his hair and face when leaving campus. Hence why she had resorted to sending him frequent letters asking him to take her back.

Schroeder didn’t know what his ex expected of him. Of course he wouldn’t still be her accompanist after being slapped in the face and insisting that his dreams didn’t matter, nevermind take her back as his girlfriend.

She must be having a hard time finding a replacement. She’d probably just end up having to pay for a professional with how little time she has left before her performance. He prayed for whatever unlucky soul accepted the tough job. 

Maybe he was being “selfish” for being petty, but he didn’t care anymore. He was so tired of being walked all over by someone who’s supposed to love, care, and support him.

Lucy would have supported him.

But Evelynn wasn’t Lucy. That much was clear to him now.

“Another one?” his roommate asked as Schroeder sat back down at his desk. Now that he only had to worry about himself, he had plenty of time to rehearse and do his school work. 

Schroeder nodded. “Another one.”

Ray whistled lowly. “Evelynn must be pretty desperate to be apologizing. I know she isn’t normally the type to beg.”

Yeah. She had only begged him once before and it was over the same topic.

Schroeder shrugged nonchalantly. “Maybe she should have thought about that before hitting me.”

Ray chuckled quietly and shook his head. His actions are all humorous, but there was a glint of pity in his eyes. “The fact that she actually slapped you is still crazy to me. And you said she wasn’t abusing you.” Schroeder let out his own small chuckle before picking up his pencil.

“Yeah. I was just in denial.”

—

May

All of his ex’s attempts to reach him before her performance had failed. He didn’t know anything about how it actually went, if she did well or not, but he did hear that she had accepted a job offer somewhere down in the south. 

Her tearful notes she had sent him stopped altogether too, further proving to Schroeder that it was all just another act to manipulate him for her own benefit again.

He was thankful that he could finally close that chapter behind him. Schroeder cringed when he looked back on how badly he let Evelynn treat him. And he had let that treatment go on for nearly a year. How he managed that, he didn’t know. 

Now it was time for him to focus on bettering himself and honing his skills. And his first chance to do that was this solo.

He was told that this was only a show for a moderately popular pianist, but the venue was filled to the brim—a sold out show. Somewhere in the crowd, his professor was there to watch him. Ray and some of other college friends were also here tonight to support him. 

Schroeder wished that his parents were able to be here and watch him too.

He sat backstage and stared at the program in his hand. His name was there, right above the musician he was opening for, etched in gold on thick cardstock. He carefully tucked the paper into his inner suit pocket. Hopefully this physical receipt would be enough to make his parents proud.

A sound tech approached him. It was time. Schroeder stood and followed the man to the side stage. The technician asked him a question and he shook his head in response. “I didn’t bring the score. I have it memorized.” 

The man looked down at his clipboard then back up at Schroeder. “Sir, you are playing Beethoven’s Sonata No. 23, correct?” Schroeder nodded in confirmation.

“Appassionata.”

It only made sense that Schroeder play one of Beethoven’s works as the first performance of his piano career. It was considered one of the hardest Beethoven pieces to play among both pianists and classical music aficionados. But it was no mistake that he hadn’t brought the score with him. He had chosen not to. This piece, along with many others of Beethoven’s, were memorized by him a long time ago.

Not only did Schroeder want to pay homage to the composer who started his obsession with the piano, but he also wanted to make a lasting impression on his first ever audience. He wanted them to remember his performance at the end of the day. He wanted people asking, “Who’s that no-name pianist that memorized the entirety of one of Beethoven’s most difficult pieces?” 

This was networking.

It’s only a matter of time.

The technician stared at him in disbelief before finally walking away, instructing Schroeder to take his place once the house lights dimmed. He straightened his suit with a straight face, eyes locked onto the grand piano at the center of the stage. A wave of serenity washed over him. He wasn’t nervous; he was eager to show people what he was capable of, to go out there and have them searching for his name on every program from there on out.

I suppose being ambitious was one good thing that my ex taught me.

The lights dimmed and there was polite clapping from the audience, welcoming him. Schroeder rolled his shoulders back and walked on stage.

—

Sophomore Year, Summer, Part I

Schroeder stared at the program on his parents’ fridge with a satisfied smirk. He ate his cereal without breaking eye contact with his name. Rereading his name on a professional program over and over again was more entertaining than whatever was on the TV. 

He was still relishing his spotlight. Whenever he closed his eyes, it was as if he was still there. He could feel the lights in his eyes, blurring the audience into mere shadowy figures. He could hear the way the crowd roared for him despite not being the musician they had originally paid to see. Not to brag, but even his professor hinted that his performance was better than the main act. His debut was so much of a success that he had made it onto Juilliard’s home page.

But one performance—no matter how grand—wasn’t enough to guarantee his success after graduation. No, he needed to do more. He still had two more years of college to go, that’s another four semesters that he could use to get his career to snowball. And he was determined to keep the ball rolling.

But for now, it was time to rest and reset. He deserved it after all.

So, he spent his first official day of summer break relaxing out on the front porch. He tuned the portable radio to a sports channel and disassociated for who knows how long. 

His mind eventually turned to the neighbor’s house just down the street. Schroeder wondered when he’d get the chance to tell Lucy what he accomplished this year.

—

Summer, Part II

Schroeder was starting to think he’d never bump into Lucy before summer’s end. He accepted every invite to go out with his friends. The mall, the pool, a restaurant, you name it. And yet, Lucy van Pelt remained an enigma, nowhere to be seen in their tiny town.

Schroeder knew that she was home too. He knew by the window she kept open on those particularly hot days and the soft music that came from it. 

Was it just by sheer luck, or lack thereof, that they hadn’t crossed each other’s paths the whole summer?

He so desperately wanted to tell her the good news, wanted to see her face light up and tell him he did good. But he couldn’t exactly show up at her house uninvited— even if he and Lucy were on good terms again. No, Linus would probably clobber him before he even got the chance to say hello.

A gentle breeze tore through one of his mother’s windchimes, sending a shimmering sound into the air and into his room.

Schroeder abruptly stood from his bed with a dismal groan. He mused up his hair and scoured his closet for something to wear. It was a waste to waste away in bed on such a fine summer day. 

A nice walk would do him some good. He’d walk to the park, maybe stop by Charlie Brown’s house, and then he would allow himself to rot in bed for the remainder of the day.

Schroeder threw on some shorts and a semi-fit sleeveless shirt with a Yankees baseball cap—courtesy of his friend Mikey—to top it off. He stepped out of the house and immediately felt better. The sun was, of course, hot on his skin, but at least the wind was cool. He slipped on his headphones and pressed play. 

He grinned when a recording of himself started to play. Ray had secretly—and illegally—recorded his performance and gifted it to him as a congratulations present; he forgot that that was the cassette he had last left in the player. 

He let his mind wander between the present and the memory of being on stage. Listening to the recording for the millionth time, Schroeder had to admit it was a flawless performance. Executed in a way that would make his favorite composer proud. 

How could ever top this performance? If that was even possible?

A tap on the shoulder makes him stop in his tracts. He turned around and smiled widely when he saw Lucy. He slid the headphones around his neck like a stethoscope. They were just at the end of her driveway, so she must have seen him just passing by. Her hair is slightly longer than the last time he’d seen her, with the ends falling just a little past her shoulders. She’s wearing red and white summer camp style clothing. 

“Oh hey, you. I was thinking I’d never get to see my runaway Cinderella before school started up again.” He hadn’t a clue where that confidence came from. And by Lucy’s reddened face, it seemed she hadn’t expected it either. In any case, he was pleased to be able to invoke such a familiar reaction out of her.

She playfully hit his bare shoulder and it sent sparks throughout his body. It took everything in him to not jolt or twitch from their skin touching. He felt like he could run a mile without breaking a sweat from the adrenaline that it gave him. 

“Oh hush. I could say the same thing about you. I haven’t seen you a single time when I go out.”

Schroeder couldn’t fight the shit-eating grin that clawed its way onto his mouth. He crossed his arms in an attempt to be nonchalant, but he felt the way his heart beat sporadically in his chest. “Oh? So you’ve been looking for me?” Too. You’ve been looking for me too, is what he nearly said.

Lucy realized her mistake and looked away, her face turning even redder. Schroeder’s grin widened but he didn’t tease her any further. 

“Y-you know what I mean, you blockhead. Jeez.” 

Schroeder nodded in amusement. His smile melted into something softer. “I missed you too, Lucy.” 

The girl faked a cough and crossed her arms. She pretended to be unaffected but the apples of her cheeks were still a shade of rosy pink. “How have you been, Schroeder? Anything exciting?”

Finally.

Schroeder wordlessly took off his headphones and gently slipped it over her ears after receiving a nod of approval. Lucy cupped her ears and listened to the recording with a straight face. Not a face made out of boredom but like she was genuinely paying attention to the music. 

“Sounds nice,” she commented after a minute of listening. Still, she kept the headphones on. “Is this a new song you made? It’s kinda echoey.” Schroeder shook his head with a small smirk, gingerly taking back his headphones. Lucy quirked up a brow, confused at his expression. 

“What?”

He paused the music and put his hands on his hips, still grinning from ear-to-ear. “You, Lucy van Pelt, just listened to a recording of my very first professional solo performance.” 

The girl’s eyes grew three sizes. She gasped in shock, covering her mouth. “Professional? Like… you got paid?” When he nodded a confirmation, she let out a small squeal. Her dark eyes sparkled in amazement. She uncovered her mouth to reveal a smile as big as his own. “Was this professional performance on Broadway, perchance?” 

Schroeder didn’t verbally respond, his smile only growing bigger. Lucy made another happy noise and hopped in place, clapping her hands like an excited seal. She kept herself stable by holding onto his biceps. 

“Holy moly, Schroeder! That’s amazing! I knew you could do it!”

His mind and body practically exploded from euphoria. Lucy is proud of me! And holy shit- She’s touching me!

This dreamy state is abruptly interrupted when someone—a man—approaches Lucy from behind. Schroeder is just about ready to yell and yank her away from danger when the stranger wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. By the way Lucy didn’t flinch or push away, even leaning into him, told Schroeder that she not only knew the man, but was familiar with him too.

Lucy turned 180 in the man’s embrace, grinning as she proceeded to casually drape her arms over his shoulders. “Oh hey, hun. I didn’t see you coming.” 

Neither did Schroeder.

His stomach dropped, his smile faltering. 

“Hun” was just as tall as him. “Hun” had chestnut brown hair and shiny green eyes. “Hun” had golden skin and was covered with a confetti of freckles. “Hun” was, objectively, handsome. 

“Hun” grinned lazily, a dimple indenting both his cheeks. He pecked Lucy’s cheek and she giggled. “Hey, baby. Who’s your friend here?”

Hun. Baby. 

Sweetie. Luce.

Schroeder felt sick to his stomach.

Lucy remembered that he was still there and spun around quickly with a stiff smile. She stepped out of hun’s embrace. She awkwardly coughed into a closed fist and gestured between the two boys.

“Eric, this is Schroeder. He’s my um-” Lucy’s gaze flitted over to him with a conflicting look. “My neighbor,” she finished with a finality that stabbed Schroeder’s heart. “A childhood friend, I guess you could say.” 

Lucy stared at Schroeder warily, wondering if he would correct her. I’m your ex, he wanted to say, We were so much more than just “childhood friends.”  

But he didn’t correct her and when he didn’t, Lucy’s shoulder deflated in relief. His bleeding heart deflated along with it. 

“And Schroeder, this is Eric,” she continued smoothly, “my boyfriend. He’s pre-med. Like me.”

He’s my boyfriend. My boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

No. No, no, no. His legs nearly gave out. His vision blurred together; he blinked rapidly in order to not pass out. This couldn’t be happening.

What did he expect? Honestly, did he expect someone as intelligent, sweet, funny, and beautiful as Lucy van Pelt to stay single forever? Unless she planned on becoming a nun, it was bound to happen at some point. He just didn’t think he would find out this way.

It was only a matter of time.

Hun Eric offered him a hand with a kind smile, not a single trace of malice was behind it. “It’s nice to meet you, Schroeder.” Schroeder accepted his hand and gave it a firm shake. He didn’t say a greeting back because he was afraid his voice might give away the pain he was feeling. Eric smiled at him and he hated how genuine it looked. Like he didn’t at all suspect he and Lucy’s true relationship. Nor did he feel threatened at their close encounter just minutes before.

Eric releases the handshake first before snaking an arm back around Lucy’s waist. Schroeder couldn’t help but stare at how snug his arm fit around her waist. Bitter jealousy coated his tongue; he bit back a sour expression. 

“You’re pretty lucky to have grown up with Lucy. I bet you two had a blast as kids, living next door and all.”

Schroeder glanced over at his neighbor. She bit her lip as her eyes looked elsewhere, refusing to meet his gaze. A small smile found his lips. He chuckled, the sound hollow.

“Yeah. I’m pretty lucky.”

Schroeder bid them farewell first, not wanting to dwell in the happy couple’s presence any longer. Lucy opened her mouth with a tense expression. He didn’t get to hear what she was going to say before he turned around sharply and walked away. She didn’t stop him.

Schroeder walked for a long while before collapsing on a random bench in his path. He moped in his thoughts, combing through the conversation he just endured and suffered. He let out a long sigh before slumping down into the bench, letting his head loll upwards to the sky as the nape of his neck caught onto the top of the bench’s backrest.

It’s been two years since he and Lucy broke up, but his feelings for her still lingered. 

He recalled the way Lucy leaned into her new boyfriend with a comfortable smile. They way she eagerly hugged and clung onto him and giggled when he kissed her cheek. The way Eric placed his arms on her where he used to place his. Their interaction replayed in his mind like a haunting memory. 

She looked genuinely happy.

He wanted to be happy for her. He should be.

He sighed and closed his eyes. Wind rustled his hair in a matter that felt like a comforting pat. Perhaps he should also try moving on. Find someone who could make him fall in love again—fresh and new—and not be a lame replacement of what he once had.

Because she had done it. And if Lucy had already moved on from him, that meant that he could too.

—

Junior Year, Fall Semester

The semester had just started and opportunities to advance his career were flying left and right. He didn’t even need to search for them; they just… came to him. Another opening act? Great, I’ll take it. Play something to welcome the incoming freshman? For a college tour? I’m honored. A local recital? Why not? Many musicians wanted to hire him as an accompanist, but he was quick to turn those offers down. Yeah, no thanks.

On top of classes, Schroeder was booked and busy. It seemed that his debut last semester had truly given him the jumpstart he needed for his pianist career. 

He was constantly exhausted, but he was happy to be occupied. That helped get his mind off of things.

Schroeder tried having a stab at romance again, despite his busy schedule. Unfortunately, he never felt a strong enough attraction with the blind dates that Ray tried to hook him up with. Some of them were only looking for a quick hook up. He turned them down politely at each turn; he just wasn’t ready to be that intimate again.

He was fine with this outcome though. If he wanted a real connection, he’d just wait for one to come his way naturally. That’s how it happened with both of his previous relationships anyways.

And so, autumn went and gone in the blink of an eye. His resume built higher as the leaves fell around his feet. Schroeder didn’t even realize the seasons had changed until snowflakes replaced them.

—

Junior Year, Winter Break

The holidays were dreadfully anticlimactic. He didn’t know whether he liked or disliked the quietness of his current life.

Schroeder stared at the extra car in the van Pelt driveway with a straight face. He knew who it belonged to and why they were there. He felt neither jealousy or despair at the sight, only nostalgia.

—

Junior Year, Spring Semester, January

Schroeder was tired of taking up smaller gigs for small bouts of fame. He wanted to set his sights on a bigger prize, something that required a little more time. 

He scheduled an after-school meeting with his favorite piano professor. The aged man was sort of like an unofficial manager to Schroeder at this point; he always knew the whathaps in the piano world and exactly which opportunities Schroeder should seize.

The seasoned pianist gives Schroeder two different options. 

The first is a piano quartet for a statewide ensemble competition. The word “statewide” made the offer quite tempting, but he crossed that one out after hearing the next option. He decided that gathering the right people and then working with them was more trouble than it was worth. His ex was probably the one to blame for his lack of desire to work with other musicians.

The second option was on the smaller scale, a local competition minus the quartet. A solo, Schroeder mused, Right up my alley. The prize was a generous amount of scholarship money and the chance to perform at a major city event, a fundraiser for the city’s beloved arts district. There were several categories aside from the piano: voice, violin, dance, etc. 

Rumor was that the mayor was funding the prize money himself.

His tuition already fully paid, Schroeder had no interest in the money, but performing for the mayor of New York City and other city officials? Priceless.

His career would be set.

His professor informs him that the competition would take place in May at the end of the semester, as many performances for students were held. That gave Schroeder plenty of time to practice.

It was perfect, except it wasn’t.

Schroeder frowned at his professor. “An original piece? That’s a pretty vague rule. Are there any other guidelines? What about genre? Length? Vibes?”

His teacher shrugged. There were no other specifications besides that the composition had to be an original. 

Schroeder thought about it, rolled the idea around in his head as he leaned back in the office chair. He had written original works before, but he had written them all about Lucy for Lucy. He hadn’t tried composing anything new since then. 

Could he do this? Could he write something worthy of first place? He’d be going against hundreds—no, thousands—of other eager students in New York City. He would be going against his own classmates.

He was a great pianist for his age. But was he the greatest?

It’s only a matter of time.

I knew you could do it!

Schroeder swallowed harshly before sitting back up with renewed vigor. Lucy may have moved on— he may have started to as well—but her words still spurred him on. This was more than just impressing his ex, or his parents, or his friends. This was about pushing the limits of his talent. This was for him.

Schroeder stared down his professor with eyes of blue fire, determination flaring.

“I’ll do it.”

—

February – April

Song writing was not as easy as Schroeder remembered it to be. 

He had gone through at least 20 pages of blank sheet music, writing a line or two—sometimes even just a single measure—of notes before scrapping it altogether and that’s on the days he was lucky to write anything at all. Today was one of those unlucky days where he couldn’t even find it in himself to put down a singular note.

Schroeder groaned in frustration and dropped his head on his desk with a loud bang . 

How did he do this before? He wrote Lucy’s birthday song in a month, her promposal even less than. What was different? What wasn’t clicking? Surely it wasn’t merely because he was single.

Ray clicked his tongue from his side of the room. His roommate was busy with his own project, memorizing some lines for an upcoming audition. He was empathetic of Schroeder’s predicament enough to not say his lines out loud like he normally would.

“Still no inspo?” Schroeder let out another moan in response. He hummed, “That sucks.” 

It sure did.

After a moment of silence, Ray asked, “You know what helps me when I can’t get into character?” Schroeder blearily lifted his head to look at him.

“Yeah?”

Ray grinned, cocking his head to the side. “I go and do something fun.”

Schroeder raised a brow. “Something fun?” 

Tossing his script to the side, his roommate sat up in bed, folding his legs criss-cross applesauce. He looked at Schroeder with a mischievous smile. It filled Schroeder with a sense of giddy anticipation, a shiver running down his spine. 

Charlie Brown would often give him this look when forcing Schroeder to go to any function, Peppermint Patty when in a competition, and Franklin when he flirted with girls. Lucy would look at him this way when she knew Schroeder was less experienced in their relationship.

“Yes,” Ray repeated, “Something fun.” 

Schroeder couldn’t help the uneven grin that crawled onto his face. “Like what?”

“Like going to a restaurant you’ve never been to before, closing your eyes, and choosing a random thing on the menu. Pick a random number and get off at that stop on the metro. Spontaneity is the key. It helps give me a different perspective.”

Schroeder hummed with a grin. He looked out the window and stared at the bustling streets he had grown accustomed to in the past three years. 

A change of pace is basically what Ray was advising for him to do. It honestly surprised him why he hadn’t thought of it sooner. All Schroeder did these days was wake up, go to class, play piano, eat, sleep, and repeat. A mundane recipe that yielded zero inspiration.

Looking back at his roommate, he asked, “Wanna go to a concert?”

Ray chuckled and leaned forward, clearly intrigued. “Whose concert?”

Schroeder shrugged and stood up. “Dunno. Wanna come?”

The two roommates didn’t arrive back at the dorms until past midnight. 

Everything about the night was considered “spontaneous.” The artist they went to see didn’t even speak English but played a tune so funky that it transcended language barriers; the two spent the two hours dancing, whooping, and hollering. Afterwards, they grabbed food at a not-so friendly gas station, but their sandwiches were so delicious that Schroeder might actually consider coming back. By the time the two friends were ready to head back, they had already missed the last train so they rented a couple cheap city bikes and rode the whole way back that way.

Ray immediately passed out, slumping into his bed still in his dirty clothes. Schroeder, on the other hand, was wide awake. His mind was brimming with newfound inspiration.

He sat down at his desk, his lamp the only lightsource in the entire room like some medieval midnight scholar, and got to work.

—

Competition Day, May

His professor told him that the mayor himself was funding the scholarship money, but he didn’t know he would also be one of the judges.

Schroeder was beyond nervous. This competition wasn’t like anything he’s ever done before. His fingers danced on the make-believe piano on his thigh. He had memorized his original piece, just as he would with any other composition. Though, it was difficult to concentrate with all the noise.

Unlike his other competitions where fellow pianists couldn’t exactly practice before their performance, he was surrounded by opera singing, guitar strumming, and woodwinds blaring. At one point, he gave up trying to rehearse and just slipped into the auditorium to see the other performances. 

He was able to watch several short plays and a range of dances from ballet to contemporary. He also examined the mayor’s reactions to see which performances were potential winners, but it was difficult to tell. The man reacted with the same enthusiasm at the end of each performance. He gave a standing ovation every time, clapping louder than any of the other judges on the panel. Schroeder couldn’t decide if that was his genuine reaction or if he was being plain cruel by giving the contestants false hope.

Eventually, it was time for the piano solos. A pristine grand piano is rolled onto stage, a technician checks if the large instrument is properly in tune, before calling the first name. Most people wouldn’t like to watch their competition, but like a madman, Schroeder stays to watch. 

Each performance brings an original piece to the stage, not one like the other. He was thoroughly impressed. Surprisingly enough though, their performances did not make him feel any more nervous than he was already feeling. He was at their skill level, maybe even better than; the winner would be dictated on the music.

Schroeder’s name is called and he swiftly stands from his seat. The audience that had paid to watch the competition looked at him in aghast. Why was one of the contestants in the crowd and not backstage rehearsing? As he walked down the aisle and to the stage, he heard more fervid whispers. That name sounds familiar. Have we watched him before? I thought this competition was only for students. 

Their murmurs only fueled his confidence. There was a flash of a camera. He grinned and walked a little faster. Let me show you that my skill goes beyond simple memorization.

What differentiated Schroeder from the other contestants was that he understood that judgement started before you even pressed a key. Everything you did was being judged the moment your name was called, from facial expressions to the way you carried yourself to that piano. That was a small tip given to him by his actor roommate.

Give ‘em a show.

All eyes were on him as he ascended the side stairs. Crossing an invisible line, Schroeder became a different person. He flashed a charismatic smile to the judges, letting his gaze linger on the mayor a little longer than the rest. The man sat up a little straighter in response. 

Taking a seat on the piano bench, he ruffled his hair, messing up his neat slick back. Taking this persona a step further, he shrugged off his jacket—which secretly had a recording device—and placed it on the bench next to him. He loosened the tie that threatened to cut off his circulation before rolling up his sleeves. After a deep breath, his fingers pounced onto the keys.

Whereas the songs he wrote for Lucy were tender love songs, this piece was the embodiment of playful youth. The light and fun melody was inspired by the freedom that college gave him. The song was fast-paced like the busy streets and people of New York City, the tempo never falling below 100 BPM. 

It was a musically challenging piece from start to finish. He had every intention to have a song that only he could play, but Schroeder didn’t even stop to think if he was even able to play his own composition. Still, he played, barely even to keep up with the flow of notes in his mind.

He felt the sweat gather at his brows from the heat of the lights and how fast his body was moving. His muscles began to tire but the ache was like a sinful burn he found indescribable pleasure from. His teeth grit together but it looked like a smile from the audience’s point of view. 

The song ended with his arms in the air and sweat rolling down his neck. He didn’t register the roaring applause of the crowd or the judge’s table, just the ringing of his ears and the fast beating of his heart. He stood up from the bench, grabbed his coat, before giving a dramatic bow. Still bent forward, the view through his blonde hair told him that the mayor was still sitting down. If you were in the crowd, you’d think that the mayor didn’t enjoy the performance. But from the stage, Schroeder saw the way the man’s jaw hung loosely.

Schroeder grinned before straightening. He flashed one last smile before leaving the stage. The other contestants stare at him in a mix of awe and resentment.

It was no persona when Schroeder thought confidently to himself, I definitely won.

—

Junior Year, Summer, Part I

Alongside the program from his sophomore year, his parents framed the cut-out of the New York Times newspaper article he brought home. On it was a picture of him playing the piano on stage, NYC’s city hall behind him. 

They kept the recording of him playing too, now turned vinyl, and stored it among the other records in the living room. 

There was no way Schroeder was topping a performance like that again. Not unless his name was glowing in neon lights outside of a sold out venue.

It’s only a matter of time.

Schroeder smiled as he stared at the hanging newspaper article. Yeah, time.

—

Summer, Part II

His friends suggested going to the bar for July 4th. Weird place to celebrate independence, but he supposed his friends just wanted an excuse to go drinking.

So, Schroeder put on his disco outfit and prepared to go out. He hopped into Charlie Brown’s car with a happy sigh. His best friend was also dressed up for the occassion.

“Ready?” he asked, reversing out of the driveway before Schroeder could even buckle his seatbelt. He shrugged with a chuckle.

“Yeah, I guess.” Charlie reached over to punch his shoulder.

“Why? Is Mr. Hot Shot too famous to party with us anymore?” 

Schroeder rolled his eyes with a small smile. “I’m not famous, you blockhead.” His friend chuckled. 

“Whatever you say.”

They arrive at the bar in a matter of minutes. It’s the same bar they had celebrated New Years at back in highschool. Schroeder hadn’t been back since. 

He was 21 now as well as his friends. Charlie pulled into the parking lot and Schroeder’s eyes gravitated towards the back end of it. He welcomed the memories of him and Lucy on the roof of her dad’s car, smiling softly. Lucy wouldn’t need a fake ID now. 

Time sure does fly.

Surprisingly enough, there were plenty of other people who thought going to the bar was the perfect way to spend a national holiday. There was a small line out the door when there usually wasn’t one to get in last time. There was a bouncer now too; the thorough checking of IDs is what caused the line in the first place.

Guess they’re finally cracking down on underage drinking. 

They get in the back of the line and from near the front, a head of auburn hair juts out from the side to stare at them. Peppermint Patty grins and waves excitedly, arm flailing above her head. Marcie also peeks out to look and she shoots the boys a timid smile. 

The boys wave back. Patty mouths something and when they don’t immediately understand, the girl rolls her eyes and gets out of line. Making her way to them, she grabs their wrists and brings them to where Marcie stood holding their place in line. Some people mutter incoherently, obviously annoyed at the two boys cutting the line but otherwise can’t be bothered to cause a scene. Schroeder flushed in embarrassment, but the girl dragging him seems either unbothered or oblivious to the displeasure around them.

The bouncer judges them incredulously, staring the group of youngins up and down before demanding to see their IDs. Identifications are pulled out and the security sighs tiredly before reluctantly letting them in. 

As darkness greets them with a spin of a shimmering disco ball, Schroeder’s nose crinkles in disgust. The smell of alcohol lightly masks the stench of sweat. It was packed body-to-body tonight, explaining the smell, further unhelped by the summer humidity. Oh well, a couple drinks and soon it would be hard to notice.

The four make their way to the crowded bar and order a round of drinks. Schroeder takes a sip before asking Patty, “Who else is coming?” The girl did all the planning and inviting, so he wasn’t sure if this was going to be a small get-together or a full-blown class reunion.

The girl took a large gulp of her beer and set it down harshly, wiping her mouth with her hand. “The uge. Y’know; me, you, Marcie, Charles, Frankie, Pigpen, and Shermy.” She counts all the names with her fingers. Her face lights up as she adds, “Ah! I forgot to warn you that Lucy is also coming. I hope you don’t mind, Schroeder. I bumped into her the other day and invited her without thinking about it.” She awkwardly laughs and looks away nervously.

This wasn’t her first time inviting the broken off pair to a group outing.

Schroeder waves her off nonchalantly while taking another sip. “No biggie. Me and Lucy are on good terms.” Patty nods, not saying another word about it. Charlie Brown shoots him a sideways glance. Schroeder ignores it. 

I’m over Lucy van Pelt.

About halfway through with his first drink, the rest of the group shows. Franklin slings himself over Schroeder and Charlie Brown while Pigpen and Shermy scare the daylights out of Patty and Marcie, resulting in a subsequent elbow jab to their chests from the girls.

“Another round over here please!” Franklin instructs the bartender, squeezing between his two guy friends. Wrangling Schroeder into his armpit, he messes up his blonde hair with little resistance. Franklin laughs, “Put my drink under the tab of Mr. Famous over here.”

Schroeder rolls his eyes again at the weird nickname. “Not famous yet,” he corrects with a cool tone. Charlie Brown clicks his tongue.

“Ah, so you agree that you will be famous eventually?” His friends’ constant reminder of his recent feats were getting a little old, but he knew that they were only teasing because they were proud of him. 

Schroeder chuckled softly, taking a sip. “That’s kinda the whole point.”

Shermy leaned forward on the counter, looking down over to where Schroeder sat. “Can I be on your tab too, Schroeder?” Pigpen jumped in with a, “Yeah, me too!”

“No way. Pay for your own drinks.” Schroeder shot a discreet wink at Franklin, letting him know that he was an exception. His friend grinned.

Shermy scoffed and took a sip of his drink with a childish pout. “Lame. I thought a little bit of fame might give you some creases.”

“Who’s famous?” The voice came from behind him, easily picked out among the loud music. Schroeder pivoted in his seat. 

Lucy was wearing a sparkly blue and white jumpsuit, perfect for the occasion. A pair of familiar white go-go boots clad her feet, adding another inch to her short stature. By her side is Eric. He’s also wearing a sequin jumpsuit but in red and white instead of Lucy’s blue. 

Schroeder bit the inside of his cheek. They’re matching as the fucking American flag.

He had an inkling that the two were still dating after seeing Eric’s car parked in the driveway. It’s been a year since Schroeder first met Lucy’s new boyfriend. Their relationship had breached the one year mark, lasting longer than he and Lucy’s now. Schroeder was glad that she was happy.

Lucy walks closer to them and Patty is the first to jump up to greet the couple.

“Lucy! Glad you could make it so last minute! And hold on a minute, who’s this hunk you have with you?” Patty does not try to hide her obvious ogling. 

Eric, charming as ever, handles the girl perfectly. He chuckles and offers her his hand. “I’m Eric, Lucy’s boyfriend. You must be Patty, the… Peppermint one?” He sounds confused as the words come out of his mouth. Lucy snorted and covered her mouth.

Patty burst out laughing, supporting herself up with a hand on Eric’s shoulder while her other arm clutched her stomach. The boy chuckles slightly and Schroeder notices a twinge of red on his cheeks. Patty stopped laughing with a chuckle and a sigh, wiping a tear from her eye. “Inside joke,” she clarified. “You’re funny, I think I’ll like you, Eric. Come drink with us.”

She drags him to the bar with Lucy in tow. Introductions ensue. Eric spots Schroeder before Lucy does. He slides over to the spot next to him with a kind smile. 

“Schroeder! Long time no see, man! How are you?” From the corner of his eye, he sees Lucy stiffen as she takes her place beside her boyfriend. 

Schroeder smiles. “I’m good, really good actually. What about you? Hold that thought, let me order you a beer first.” He surprised not only his friends but himself with his cool demeanor. Perhaps it was his persona that was out right now, activated by fight-or-flight.

His friends shifted with uncertainty, glancing between Lucy’s two lovers. One of present, one of past. They were completely unaware of the fact that Schroeder had already met Eric last summer; he hadn’t told anyone, not even his best friend, of the encounter. He was glad it was then when he was alone to stew with his thoughts rather than now at a loud bar.

Schroeder waves over the bartender to fetch Eric a drink. For Lucy, he asks for a classic margarita, remembering how much she enjoyed her cocktails last time. Schroeder hands the newly opened bottle to the boy on his left and slides the glass with the margarita down to Lucg, the drink sloshing some of its contents to the side during its ride. 

The girl stared at Schroeder with a shocked expression before shyly accepting the drink with a mumble of thanks, bringing the cup to her lips. He only acknowledges her with a small nod before taking a sip of his own.

“Uhhh,” Franklin pointed a finger between the two, “You know each other?”

“Mhm,” Schroeder hums. His face remains neutral as he explains. “Met last summer. It was just a quick chat.” Franklin nods, not saying anything. Charlie Brown coughs as his gaze flits between the nonchalant Schroeder and the fidgeting Lucy. They eventually land on an oblivious Eric, happily downing his drink. 

You’d think that a future doctor would be able to read the room.

“So, you know that Schroeder and Lucy…” Lucy tenses and she mimics her boyfriend, taking large gulps of her cocktail. She was preparing herself for confrontation. 

Now, Schroeder may have covered for her the first time, but he wasn’t so kind to do it a second. Not if she expected him to continue this lie in front of their friends.

The boy finishes his beer with a happy sigh. He finishes Charlie’s question. “That they’re childhood friends? Yeah, I know. Makes sense given that they’re neighbors and all.”

The awkward silence crushes in on the group heavily. There’s one thought on everyone’s mind but no one dares say anything. Their heads slowly turn to look at Schroeder, fully expecting him to speak up. He, in turn, looks to his ex with a raised brow, wordlessly sipping on his drink. She should be the one to clear this up. Not him.

Lucy returns his gaze with a pleading one. Her eyes shine with guilt, her brows furrow in worry, and she anxiously bites her lip. Please. How could he say no to that face?

Schroeder sighs and looks away. He downs the rest of his drink, already regretting his decision. He practically bites out the lie that Lucy wanted to reinforce, “Yup. Neighbors.”

His friends look at him in utter shock and confusion. Why lie? What benefit did this serve him? Charlie Brown elbows him to which he shakes him off in irritation. His friend frowns. Thankfully, Eric pushed away from the counter, taking the attention off of Schroeder temporarily. With a light laugh, he pulls his girlfriend with him.

“Let’s dance, baby. Thanks for the drink, Schroeder!” The couple leaves for the dance floor. Before completely disappearing from view, Lucy shoots Schroeder a thankful glance over her shoulder. He looks away and orders another drink.

“Damn, Schroeder,” Pigpen comments dully, “Lucy hates you.” Patty elbows the boy harshly with a scowl. Marcie gives him a pitying look.

“That’s not true, Schroeder. Based on the stuff I learnt in my sociology class, it looks like Lucy is just embarrassed of you.”

Schroeder groans and puts his head in his hands. “That doesn’t make me feel any better.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything? You just sorta… doubled down.”

Schroeder shrugged with an exhausted sigh. He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I just- She looks happy with her new boyfriend and I don’t want to be the reason why they fight. Maybe… she just thought it would be easier to explain our relationship to him that way.”

Charlie Brown raised a brow, unconvinced. “With a lie?” Schroeder shrugged again but with more exasperation.

“I never said I enjoyed this, okay?” He huffed and sunk further into the bar, feeling defeated. “And besides, it was highschool and me and Lucy never even hit one year. That’s nothing real enough to make such a big deal out of it.” 

Schroeder’s chest constricted in painful denial. His and Lucy’s relationship, no matter how short, was very much real. To him at least. He wasn’t quite sure now if his ex felt the same.

His friends look at him in disbelief. He goes to take a sip, craving for any liquid to soothe the tightening of his throat, when Charlie Brown yanks the drink from his hands. He slams the bottle to the countertop and stares at Schroeder in disappointment.

“You and your selflessness will be the reason why I die early, Schroeder. Your and Lucy’s relationship is over but it was real. Saying that it wasn’t—well—you aren’t fooling anyone but yourself.”

He hands back the stolen drink with a touch of roughness but clinks his own bottle against it. Schroeder nods wordlessly before taking a small sip. The others follow suit. 

“So,” Peppermint Patty said, breaking the silence, “You’re really not going to tell Lucy’s new boyfriend that you two were… more than just childhood friends?” 

Schroeder shook his head, feeling final on his decision. Consider this as another act of repentance for how he hurt Lucy all those years ago.

Franklin patted his back once, twice. “That’s real mature of you, man. I think that’s really cool.” A string of agreements echoes down the strip of the bar that the friends occupied. Marcie lifts up her cup and they all clink their glasses together in solidarity.

“Alright, I’m tired of all this sap,” Shermy announced after finishing his drink, pushing off the counter, “Let’s head to the floor already.”

And so, the 4th of July celebration continued without another mention of Schroeder and Lucy’s estranged relationship title. Matter of fact, he hadn’t even seen his ex since she first left to dance with her boyfriend. 

Until he does, and she’s alone, stuck in the middle of two much older men who're looking at her with anything but good intent. Drunk off her mind, she’s oblivious to their not-so accidental brushes, their touches getting more and more intentional. More intimate. Schroeder’s jaw clenches. Where the fuck is her boyfriend?  

Schroeder’s body moves on its own, making—pushing—his way through the crowd, abandoning his friends who seem to also be oblivious of the obvious danger that Lucy was in. Like a pre-programmed robot, he hones in on his goal. Get to Lucy.

He reaches out between the two strange men and manages to catch her, grabbing a hold of her elbow. She whirls around with a bewildered expression and Schroeder uses that as momentum to close the distance between them, pushing the small of her back so that she crashes into him. He takes a protective stance, shielding Lucy from the mens’ view. The small girl looks up at him with wide eyes, her hands on his chest in balled fists.

“S-Schroeder?!”

He ignores her, his eyes hardening. “Why are you by yourself? Where’s Eric?”

“Hey, kid. We were just dancing with her. How about you just mind your own business.”

Pushing Lucy behind him, he turns to the two men. He might not be muscular enough to be considered a threat, but he be damned if he left Lucy alone with these sick perverts. He rolls his shoulders back, using his height to his advantage. He doesn’t let his nervousness show. 

“She’s accounted for so no, I don’t think I will. Excuse us.” Schroeder brushes past them, his arm wrapped protectively around Lucy’s waist. 

His heart sped up uncontrollably and he can’t decipher if it was because of the adrenaline or from being so close to his ex. Thankfully, the two men don’t try to stop them and they leave the dance floor unhindered. Schroeder leads her outside, helping her take a seat at one of the benches against the side of the building.

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbles, practically crashing onto the small bench. Schroeder sighs and sits beside her, leaving more than enough space between them.

“Jeez, Lucy. Did you not even notice those two creeps behind you? They looked like-” Schroeder took a deep breath. No point in trying to lecture a drunk girl. He’d leave that responsibility to her actual boyfriend. Or even Linus. Exhausted, Schroeder asked, “Where’s your boyfriend?”

Her eyes are closed, the back of her head against the wall. She slurs out a, “I dun know.” 

Schroeder rubbed his face tiredly. “Shit. I haven’t paid my tab yet.” Not even opening her eyes, she waves him off sluggishly.

“I paid. Don’t…” she paused temporarily and gagged, “-worry about it.”

Schroeder doesn’t even have enough time to react to Lucy paying off his bill before he’s scooching closer to her. He examined her worriedly. “Do you think you need to puke?” He stood up like a spring. “I’ll go get Patty and Marcie. They can help you to the restroom.”

He didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone again, but the security was still standing guard out front. A little extra cash and Schroeder was sure he wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on her for just a few minutes.

But before he can turn to leave, Lucy grabs his wrist. He spins around with confused expression, fully expecting her to vomit on his shoes. Instead, she opens her eyes halfway, and the dazed look in her dark eyes forces him to stop in his tracts. 

“Sweetie… Don’t go.”

He swears his heart stops. 

That nickname wraps around his heart and tugs like a collar around his neck. Obediently, he sits back down. Lucy smiles lazily and cozies up into his side. He raises his arm out of instinct, ready to pull her into him, but ultimately freezes. 

Lucy is drunk. She has a boyfriend. You might have helped her, but don’t overstep.

His arm gradually falls back down. He opts to sit as still as a statue as his ex dozes off comfortably on his shoulder. The smell of lilies torment and tease his nostrils.

This had to be hell on Earth. Or at least, a demon that decided that Schroeder would be its latest plaything.

Maybe God decided to pity him because his friends came stumbling out of the bar just a minute later. Shermy, Pigpen, and Patty are gone, leaning against a more sober counterpart for balance. Among them is Eric, who thankfully looks sober enough to drive home. He spots the two on the bench and relief washes over his previously tense features.

“Oh thank god you’re the one that has her, Schroeder. I left her for literally a second to go throw up so I could be sober enough to drive and then poof. She was gone.” Schroeder mustered up a smile and transferred the sleeping Lucy to him. The girl stirs slightly, a frown curling on her lips. 

“No problem. I saw some guys trying to hit on her so I told them off. Didn’t mean to steal her from you.” Eric nods absentmindedly, more busy trying to keep his girlfriend upright rather than listening to him. 

“I appreciate that, man. You mind helping us one more time and getting her to the car?” Schroeder immediately takes on the task, taking Lucy’s other arm so that she’s sandwiched between the two boys. He opens Eric’s passenger side door while the owner of the car slides Lucy in. She slumps into the chair with a moan before passing back out. 

She’d regret her drunken actions the moment she wakes up; Schroeder just knew she would.

Eric sighs after carefully closing Lucy’s door. He turns to Schroeder with a smile. “Thanks again, Schroeder. It makes me feel better knowing that there’s someone like you looking out for Lucy even when I’m not around.”

Someone like you.

Schroeder forced a smile and backed away, hands in his pockets. He steals one last glance at Lucy fast asleep in the passenger seat. This would probably be the last time he sees her this summer.

“No need to thank me. Just… doing my job as her friend is all.”

—

Senior Year – Graduation

Schroeder was a big deal at school now. It didn’t matter what major you were. If you didn’t know who he was before, you definitely did now after his big performance at town hall.

He was the face of Juilliard, gaining more notoriety in his time in school than any previous musician that attended before him. He hadn’t even graduated yet, but he was regarded as a mini celebrity in the piano community. And people assumed he would be the most famous pianist alumni after graduation.

Job offers from several orchestras had flooded his professor’s desk while he was away for the summer. He was thrilled but he had yet to accept one. Schroeder wasn’t entirely sure he was satisfied with being an orchestral pianist. He had his eyes set on being a soloist. A composer, even. Both, maybe. Was he being too greedy? If he aimed to fly higher, would the sun melt his wings?

His professor told him to not worry about choosing one now. He still had a year before graduation.

So, Schroeder did what he did best, take on more odd jobs and competitions to boost his resume.

One more year.

His days blurred as his musical resume grew impossibly longer. Schroeder tried to slow down and enjoy his senior year in college in a way that he didn’t in highschool. He really did. But time was always cruel to him and it did not listen to his pleas.

One more year turned into one more semester. One more semester quickly turned into one more week. And that week turned into today. Now, it was graduation.

Schroeder couldn’t believe it. His time at Juilliard was coming to an end. This was his dream school—still is and forever would be. He had made that cramped dorm into a home and turned his roommate into a friend for life.

He was starting to think that he’d never leave. Maybe he didn’t really want to. 

But still, Schroeder walked that stage as he did once before. He picked out his parents’ loud cheering among the crowd of his peers. He shook the hands of his professors and mentors filled with more gratitude than he could ever show with his piano.

He accepted his diploma with shaky hands. He couldn’t believe he was here. He had done it. With this sheet of paper, he became a professional. With this, his dream ended and his reality started. 

Schroeder was a pianist.

Chapter Text

Schroeder walked into his new apartment with a smile. He put his hands on hips and looked around.

My very own apartment, he thought proudly. He had used his very own money from his competition winnings to pay the downpayment. And once his new manager sorted out the expenses and earnings of his recent performance, he could probably pay off the first few months of rent.

The living room was too small to fit a grand piano, not that you could lift one up 6 flights of stairs or fit it in the elevator anyways. A good ole professional piano wasn’t even an option. The only type that would fit was a basic spinet piano. The sound or feel wasn’t his favorite, but it was better than the portable he used in the dorms. 

This apartment, although small, was something he had earned. This was one of the fruits of his labor and one day, he’d have a place big enough for a grand piano.

He walked into his bedroom—the only bedroom—and set down the first box of many. 

One thing he was glad to leave behind at Juilliard was that tiny twin bed. Now, there was enough room to fit at least a queen size bed in here. 

Schroeder continued moving boxes, going back and forth from the basement garage where his car was parked and back up to the apartment. Unlike when he was moving into his college dorm, he was completely on his own. It was a little lonesome, he had to admit, but he wouldn’t let himself mope and ruin this monumental moment for himself.

After the final box was moved, Schroeder sighed and sagged tiredly onto the floor, the maze of brown boxes surrounding him like a geometric fairy ring. He dreaded having to unpack it all. He stood up, already feeling overwhelmed at the mere idea of having to take everything out of said boxes. For now, he walked over to the balcony window, crawled out, and sat on the fire escape. 

He absolutely scored with this apartment. Broadway was just a couple blocks down from where his apartment stood. If you squinted, you could just see the outline of the neon signs closest to him. As if on cue, those lights turned on. 

The sun was starting to set in New York City. Schroeder dangled his feet through the iron bars and watched the city rumble below him.

—

How could he be late to his very own show? His manager was going to kill him.

This was his—what—third show as the main act? If his venue was on Broadway, he for sure wouldn’t be late. His manager tried to grab one of the stages for his performances, but all the theatres were booked out a year in advance. Some more, some less. Schroeder’s first headlining show on Broadway wasn’t for another several months; he couldn’t exactly afford to stay unemployed until then.

Schroeder had been utterly spoiled with his venues during college, so of course he was a bit bummed out with having to settle for anything less than. He will say though, the shows he had done at the smaller theatres nearby were a great success. Every seat sold. He and his manager were confident that when he did perform at a Broadway theatre—because it was a matter of when rather than if—he would also be a sell out. 

But that was a dreamy thought for another time. Right now, he was running immensely behind schedule.

He was running late because he hadn’t had the chance to buy an alarm clock yet; he thought a normal analogue clock would be sufficient. He was still living in the dorms when he had his first show, in the midst of moving out, and he made a habit of using Ray’s alarm clock—the one his roommate rarely used—all throughout college. Evidently, he needed his own.

He scrambled to put on his socks, phone pressed to his ear by the shoulder. His mom was calling him every day since his move. She was worried how he was settling in and endlessly apologetic for not being there at such an important part of her child’s life. i.e. such as moving into their first apartment. 

He didn’t blame his parents for not being here, of course. He was actually the one to beg them to not waste a plane ticket just to help him move a few silly boxes. He could handle that, no biggie.

But if his mom was here, she definitely wouldn’t have forgotten a small detail such as buying clocks for the new place.

“I told you, mom. It’s fine. The move was fine. I’m fine. Everything’s-” He shrugged on his coat with a huff. “-fine.”

His mom’s chuckle echoed on the other end of the line. “Okay, okay. Sorry for nagging. By the way, when do you think you’ll be back home? I know you’re an adult now and you’re busy with work, but me and your dad miss you. Charlie Brown has been asking about you too.”

He hadn’t come home for the summer after graduation. Wanting to get an immediate start with his career and with the move, he didn’t have the time to go home. 

Schroeder sighed and plopped onto the bed. He glanced at the clock. He had to leave his apartment in two minutes if he wanted his butt on that piano at the scheduled performance time. He could spare those minutes to his endearing mother at the very least.

“I can’t really give you an exact date, mom. I could try to shoot for Thanksgiving? That’s like- a month but you know how it is, if there’s an opportunity to play then I need to take it.” He heard his mom sigh disappointedly and felt a shred of guilt. Still, he wouldn’t lie and give her false hope. 

He mustered up a smile, looking at the clock. One minute.

“Well- I gotta go, mom. I’ll try to keep my Thanksgiving open—no promises. I’ll call you tomorrow morning, okay? Yup, I won’t forget to eat. Mhm. Bye, love you too.” Schroeder hung up first and threw on his best shoes, shined and polished for the stage. 

He’s stumbling over some partially unpacked boxes littering his floor, rushing to the door, when his kitchen phone rings. He groans as he runs over to answer. It’s his manager.

“Yes, yes. I’m coming! Just- give me like 10 minutes!” Schroeder hung up with a bang, without as much saying bye to his now irritated manager, and ran out the front door. 

Schroeder would only be a minute late to his scheduled performance, huffing and puffing all the way to the piano bench, but the audience didn’t seem to mind. Later, after another successful performance and standing in front of his apartment door, he would discover that in his rush, he had left his key inside.

—

His landlord opened the door with the help of maintenance. Schroeder cursed to himself as he finally closed the door behind him. That simple mistake was going to cost him a couple hundred bucks. 

Goodbye to being ahead of rent, he thought dismally.

He slept inside his car that night, still in his tux. His sleep was a restless one, but instead of rolling into bed to sleep the day away, he decided to go to the store first. Getting that alarm clock was now at the top of his to-do list.

After a cold shower to wake himself up, Schroeder put on something casual and headed out. This time, with his keys. A quick subway ride and a few blocks of walking, he found himself in front of a home goods store. He was only here for one thing, so he didn’t bother grabbing a cart. 

His eyes scanned the signs hanging above each aisle.

Bathroom. Kitchen. Lights. Rugs. 

Ah- Clocks.

Schroeder turns abruptly, swerving his entire body, upon reading the six letter word. He’s then faced with a wall of clocks and the whole aisle feels like he just entered Wonderland with every clock ticking incessantly. The sound eventually blurs into white noise, allowing him to focus on choosing a clock. Specifically one with an alarm feature.

There’s a lot of different ones to choose from, some basic in their design and some more eccentric. One of them caught his eye and not because he liked it, but because it was so ugly.  

The background was plain white, but the numbers were painted the colors of the rainbow. The clock hands were literal hands and at the center was a round smiley face. The only thing normal about it were the symmetrical brass bells on the top. It was actually hideous now that he examined it further.

“You should get that one. I think it’s pretty cute,” commented someone at his side.

Schroeder laughed haughtily, not bothering to look at the person with such gaudy taste. “You mean pretty ridiculous, right? Because, I mean, who in the world would buy this?”

“I would.”

It was too early in the morning and he did not get enough sleep to properly deal with this. Schroeder turned to look at the random passerby with an appalled expression. His inner New Yorker was ready to come out and tell the stranger to mind their own business but stops when he sees a familiar and friendly face.

His scowl turns upside down. “Cindy?”

He was normally terrible at remembering names and faces, but the girl he had met in his sophomore year was exactly as he remembered her. It was hard to forget someone with such bright hair and that many freckles. The young director smiled up at him, teeth and all. “Long time no see, Schroeder!”

Schroeder smiled and turned to face her fully, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, it has. How have you been?”

It looked like she was in a hurry with her shuffling and the way she kept readjusted her shopping basket. He gestured towards her basket before gently taking it from her. He curiously glanced at the items inside, all miscellaneous in nature. She offered him a grateful thanks.

“Are you also getting stuff for your new place?”

She scrunched up her nose and stuck her tongue out in response. “No. I um- can’t afford to move out of my parents’ house yet,” she said a little embarrassedly, her freckled cheeks turning a shade of pink. Schroeder frowned. He assumed that it was the norm to never return home after moving out. He hadn’t realized that some of his peers wouldn’t be able to support themselves—or even unable to find a job for that matter—like he was able to upon graduation. 

In the world of the arts, he had gotten lucky.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but she quickly waved him off with a big smile, her single dimple poking through. “Luckily, I’m from Jersey so the commute isn’t all that bad. Just a hop and a skip away.” 

He gave her tight-lipped smile and nodded, his shoulders sagging in relief. He turned back to the wall of clocks. “So… Why the stuff?” Cindy looked down at her basket of items and giggled.

“Yeah, this ensemble looks super random, huh? I need some last minute props for a test screening I have tomorrow. Today’s the last rehearsal before then so I need these asap.” She grabbed a small clock off the shelf, turned it around to see the price tag, set that one down, before grabbing a different one. The small, plain clock was then tossed into the basket. It hits the bottom of the basket with a small pring. 

Cindy fast-walks out of the aisle and into the one next. Schroeder follows closely behind, still holding her things. She grabs a plastic brush and tosses it along with the rest. She bends down and peers into her basket. She hums in thought. “Yup. That should be everything.” She gingerly takes the basket back from Schroeder. “Thanks, Schroeder. Always the lifesaver.”

He grins and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “No problem.”

They walk over to the cashier. Cindy places her things on the conveyor belt and watches as the employee types in each price on the register, each one added sounding with a ding. The total comes out to $45 and some change. She grimaces at the price before digging into her purse, handing over two twenties and a ten dollar bill. 

Schroeder helps her carry her bags until the subway entrance, luckily just across the street, before handing them back to her. She accepts them with a smile. “I’d love to chat more but you caught me on a busy day. Actually-” The girl stops to rummage in her bag again and pulls out a red permanent marker. She twists the top off with her teeth and grabs one of Schroeder’s arms.

He lets out a small noise, startled by her sudden touch but lets her continue to write on his bare forearm. When she’s done, she lets go and recaps the marker with a bright smile. 

“I seriously gotta go, but I hope I see you there! Maybe we can chat more after.” And with that, Cindy leaves a bewildered Schroeder at the top of the subway stairs. He stares down at the message on his arm. In a messy scrawl, it read:

682 Bell Street, Floor 3, Room 310

9:30 A.M.

Seeing a time, he quickly remembered the reason why he was even out this early. He turned back around to buy that clock.

—

He was standing in front of Room 310 eighteen minutes before the written time. There was a line to get inside. Everyone was wearing business casual and looked at least a decade older than he. Schroeder just in jeans and a jean jacket, he felt majorly underdressed and out of place. 

He had never been to a test screening before. How would he know the dress code?

Still, he stayed, only to support Cindy. 

He reached the front of the line and the employee judgingly looked him up and down, unimpressed with his attire. 

“Invite?”

“Uh,” Schroeder blanked. Cindy didn’t mention anything about an invite. How would I- Remembering the address still on his arm, he rolled up his jacket sleeve to show the attendant. He smiled shyly at the person’s indifferent expression. “Cindy- I mean, Cynthia invited me. It was quite sudden so she wrote it down. On my arm.” 

He made a show of extending his arm towards them. Only then did the employee put on some reading glasses and looked down at his branded arm. He assumed that they must have recognized her handwriting because they waved him inside carelessly before bringing their attention to the next person in line. Schroeder recovered his arm and walked inside.

Maybe not being able to scrub off the marker in the shower ended up being a good thing.

The venue wasn’t as he imagined. The room looked like an ordinary office room that was merely rented out for the occasion. There were metal chairs lined up in several rows, most of them already taken by important looking people. The front two rows were sectioned off and only had a few people in them; this time, with people of all ages. 

Schroeder, being curious, approached an attendant to ask. That was for the test audience, they informed him. 

Ah. So that’s where I sit.

Schroeder sat down at the end of the second row, not wanting to be front and center. He scanned the makeshift stage in front of him in search of the girl that invited him but couldn't find a single head of red hair. Though, after a little bit more looking, he did spot multiple sets of feet behind the “backdrop” which were just whiteboards on wheels. Cindy must be back there with her cast.

Soon, 9:30 rolled around. Then 9:31. And then 9:35. The audience began to fidget. The ones that looked like they were attending a business meeting—technically, that is what a test screening was if you were on the management side of things—periodically checked their watches. But as more minutes passed, their checkings became more frequent. More impatient.

Schroeder frowned worriedly. People would start leaving at this rate. What was taking her so long?

The young director appeared from behind the whiteboard screens. She looks visibly upset; her hands are on her hips and her face is the same shade as her hair. The girl combs through the crowd, looking for something. Or someone.

Her eyes eventually fall on him. He watches as her shoulders sag in relief. She approaches him.

“Schroeder. You came.” She was out of breath.

He looks up at her innocently, blinking rapidly and tilting his head to the side. “Yeah, I wasn’t busy today. Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Yeah. My-” Cindy clears her throat and lowers her voice, aware that there were some eyes on them. “My pianist is running late. I just called and he says he won’t be here for another 20 minutes, but I’m afraid the people with the money won’t be interested in waiting that long.”

A predicament, indeed. Schroeder raised a brow. “So I’m assuming that’s where I come in.”

She groans and hides her face in her hands. “God. This is so embarrassing. I don’t even want to ask. Actually- Yeah. Nevermind, Schroeder. I’ll just have to bite the bullet-” Before she can turn to walk away, Schroeder grabs her wrist, leaning forward in his seat just to reach her in time. Cindy whirls around and he sees her surprised, reddened face. He stands, letting go.

“I don’t mind, Cindy. You just need me for 20 minutes, right? I’ll have to sight-read so I won’t be as good as your actual pianist. Is that alright with you?”

The girl’s face lights up. She eagerly nods before leading him away from the audience and into their “backstage.” 

“Oh, yes! Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I know you’ll do just fantastic, Schroeder.”

He chuckles softly. He gives her a playful salute. “I’ll do my best, boss.” 

Cindy quickfires a line of introductions but all their names fly past Schroeder’s head. She then shows him to the piano stationed near the back of the room. It’s no grand piano, but at least it wasn’t a keyboard. She shoots him a sheepish smile. “Sorry. It’s not much but it’s all I could afford to rent. Are you able to play on this?”

Schroeder waves her off, giving her a reassuring look. “As long as it’s a piano, I can play it. Don’t worry.” 

She grins at his response, nodding enthusiastically. “Great. Well, here’s the sheet music. I’ve included some verbal and nonverbal cues in the score, but I’ll also give you some in person. You know how this works. Just pay attention to me and the actors and you should be fine.”

“Got it. Eyes on you.” With that, Cindy gives him a thumbs up and pulls the backdrop to the sides, revealing Schroeder, and the cast behind it. The actors stand in a line as their director introduces each of them and their roles. She then gives introductions to the small ensemble of musicians responsible for the music. There’s only one person on each instrument: a violin, a guitar, a flute, drums, and a piano. Each musician's name is called out in that order.

“Lastly, we have Schroeder on the piano. He will be your pianist for the next,” Cindy glances at her watch, “15 minutes.” There’s some murmuring in the audience. Those that sat disinterested now straightened in their seats at the mention of his name.

This was the moment when Schroeder began to question how “famous” he really was. Were people finally recognizing his name out in the wild? The gravity of the situation fell on him.

Right. He was always performing, no matter what the situation. His name might have been an attention-grabber, but that also meant his mistakes would be magnified. His name was now stapled to Cindy’s playwright like a business card in a company folder. It was not only his career being put under a microscope, but his performance could very much affect Cindy’s as well.

And she needed this test screening to go well.

Suddenly feeling pressured, he quickly began skimming the score given to him, taking note of the tempo and key. Looks simple enough. Nothing nearly as difficult as the technical pieces he typically played for a concert. 

Schroeder watched the actors start, keeping Cindy in the corner of his eye. Mentally, his mind pressed imaginary keys. He’s only able to briefly make out the plot, a coming of age theme, before he recognizes one of the nonverbal cues by one of the actors. He readies himself over the piano and presses down once Cindy gives him a silent nod of approval. 

He did his best given that he had no prior time to practice and no conductor. Using his past experience working with an orchestra, he’s able to blend his sound with the other musicians seamlessly. He did this for a couple more songs before the actual pianist arrived. Schroeder happily relinquished the spotlight and slipped back into his seat in the second row. The director gave him a grateful smile to which he returned.

He felt the pointed stares directed at the back of his head. He tried his best to ignore them and focused on the play.

Now that he was just an audience member, Schroeder was able to fully appreciate the score that Cindy had written. For someone who only took supplemental music theory classes, she had a great understanding of music composition.

Her storytelling was even more phenomenal than her music writing. For a theme that was retold time and time again, she was able to shed a new light on it that was easy to digest. It was perfect for all ages and, by the looks of the business crowd behind him, they agreed and liked that. 

The play ends and the actors bow. Schroeder is the first to shoot up, not caring if he looked ridiculous giving a standing ovation during a mere screening. Others in the “audience” rows also stand, following suit. Some folks from the rows beyond do the same whether out of peer pressure or by their genuine enjoyment.

Cindy is the last to bow. She finished the business meeting with some pleasantries before dismissing the crowd. Most of the room leaves, but about a third of them approach the young playwright. Schroeder hopes at least one of them was interested in funding her production.

Not wanting to disrupt any potential business deals occurring, Schroeder flees to the hallway where he stood in line earlier. The attendant who once stared at him in distaste now eyes him with reverence. Schroeder is appalled when they have the audacity to ask him for a signature. 

You’re always performing, he reminds himself before he could hastily refuse. Instead, he grins that lazy smile his persona does and agrees. He signs a blank paper with a dramatic, curvy “S.” He examines it with scrutiny, making sure it looked just as he practiced it, before handing it over to the attendant. They thank him profusely before departing with the rest of the crowd.

He waits out in the hallway, hiding in a corner, until it’s empty. That’s when he decides to leave as well.

“Schroeder! Wait!” The elevator dings as its doors open to him. He spins around and watches in amusement as Cindy chases after him. Her arms are full of papers, presumably the playwright or score or perhaps a combination of the two, and float to the ground when she accidentally trips. Schroeder rushes over to her on the ground as the elevator closes behind him. He chuckles lightly as he helps her pick up the scattered papers.

“You okay? What’s the rush? I wasn’t going anywhere.” 

The girl blushes and lets out a small embarrassed laugh. “Yeah. I don’t know why I was running.”

There’s one page left and their hands brush as they both reach for it. Both of them flush red this time. Schroeder clears his throat awkwardly, standing up and giving her the page. “Here you go.”

The girl’s face is a deep scarlet when she accepts it. She tucks a strand of hair behind her also red ear. She mumbles a shy, “Thanks.”

The two Juilliard alumni stand there in bashful silence, neither one knowing what to say. The boy looks over at an adjacent wall while the girl stares down at the carpeted floor.

“Um,” Schroeder stirs the silence. Cindy’s head snaps up to him. Her emerald green eyes sparkle in contrast to their dull office surroundings. His face burns and he looks away, unable to stare into such intensity. “Are you free now that your test screening is over? If not-”

“I’m free,” she says eagerly, catching Schroeder off guard. She flushes again and her eyes flit away. “Do you… wanna grab a coffee or something? But only if you’re also not busy…”

Schroeder grinned and pressed the button for the elevator. It opens immediately and he gestures for her to go in first.

“I’d like a coffee.”

—

Schroeder and Cindy’s relationship grew and blossomed quickly despite their last meeting being in college. It was like a rose bud frozen in ice, finally melted and allowed to bloom. He has never considered her a potential partner, but with their passions firmly rooted in the arts, they clicked instantly.

Their relationship didn’t take as long to establish like his first relationship with Lucy, but it also wasn’t out of the blue as the one with Evelynn. It was steady, obvious flirting that led from one thing to another.

Schroeder didn’t mind if they had only been talking again for a couple weeks. What was important was that it felt natural.

Cindy was nothing like Evelynn. His new girlfriend supported his music career and ambitions as much as he did hers. And she definitely did not hit him. She was also nothing like Lucy. She was clumsy, often disorganized, sometimes unsure with herself, and very much a “go with the flow” type of gal.

Schroeder’s new girlfriend was like a breath of fresh air in smoggy New York City. 

Unlike his relationship with Evelynn, he immediately called up his parents and friends about his new girlfriend. Ray was ecstatic. His parents were eager to meet this new girl. Charlie Brown and his other friends back home seemed like they couldn’t fathom it but were otherwise happy for him.

He felt a sense of accomplishment deep in his soul. He was financially stable. His career was steadily taking off. His love life was healthy and finally not running on a timer.

Life was finally falling into place.

And as Cindy cuddled up next to Schroeder on his couch, he thought to himself, I’m happy with this.

—

With a spur-of-the-moment concert booked by his manager and Cindy busy with her approved production, he unfortunately was unable to go home for Thanksgiving. This temporarily broke his mother’s heart, but all sadness ceased after he promised he’d be home for Christmas. And true to his word, he was back home and with someone special.

Schroeder tightly held his girlfriend’s hand as they exited the airport. He spots his parents’ car and waved elatedly. Cindy stared up at him worriedly, her eyebrows knitting together.

“Sunny… Are you sure your family will like me? Your friends? What if-”

He stops her mid-question with a quick peck to her lips. He grins mischievously at his girlfriend’s red face. “Don’t worry, Cici. Everyone will love you.” She nods, still looking a bit unsure, but quickly puts on a smile when his parents pull up in front of them. They get out of the car and his mom immediately goes to hug the girl. Cindy looks relieved and practically melts into his mom’s arms. 

Schroeder and his dad load their luggages into the trunk while his mom and girlfriend flood into the backseat. He hears broken bits of their conversation as he works.

“We actually met our sophomore year… Our friend Ray… There was this production… Clocks… I was freaking out but then… Schroeder helped me out more times than I can count.”

He smiled at his girlfriend’s recollection before hopping into the passenger seat, his dad in the driver’s. The two women in the backseat do most of the talking, Schroeder only jumping in when Cindy required him to. He looked at his girlfriend through the rearview mirror and when she caught his gaze, they both smiled at each other.

They arrive at his childhood home and Cindy gasps up at the house in shock. Schroeder chuckled, raising a brow. “What?”

She continues to look at Schroeder with unrestrained shock. “You live in a mansion?!” 

He bursts out laughing. “I guess if you live in New York and Jersey your whole life, then my house would look gigantic, huh? Property around here is so cheap that everyone’s house is this big.”

He leads her from the driveway of his “mansion” to the inside of it. He pushes the door open and gestures for her to enter first. He helps her take off her snow covered coat and boots at the entrance before undoing his own. Cindy takes it upon herself to feel at home, wandering up and down the foyer glancing at the countless family photos from his childhood hanging on the walls.

She giggles and points at one when he was much younger, probably 7 or 8 years old. He’s in the baseball field along with his childhood friends, grinning widely with a missing front tooth. Although it was many years ago, he can still recall when the photo was taken by the oddly planted tree on the pitcher’s mound and with the white beagle in baby Charlie Brown’s cradled arms. “Are these the friends you were telling me about? You’re all so cute and chubby here!”

Schroeder flushed and pulled her away from the embarrassing photo. “Yup. Come on, let me show you the music room.”

Another gasp comes out of his girlfriend’s mouth when they enter his beloved music room. He can’t tell what she’s more amazed by, the chandelier or the grand piano.

“Sunny, this-” she pauses to spin, seemingly enchanted by the grandeur. She stops spinning to stare at him, deadpan. “You’re rich, Schroeder.” 

He sputters out a disbelieving chuckle. He shakes his head. “I’d say my family is comfortable-”

“Rich.”

He throws his hands up in defense, his face neutral. “I’m an only child.”

Cindy laughs and shakes her head but doesn’t argue with him on the subject any longer. She takes a seat at the piano bench and gives him a starry-eyed smile. She pats the empty space beside her.

“Play for me?”

Schroeder wasn’t one to say no, not to playing the piano and not to his girlfriend. 

He slides in next to her and lifts the fallboard. He presses a couple commonly played keys, just to check if it was still in tune. When he deemed the instrument still playable, he slightly turned his head towards her. “What do you want me to play?”

She hums in thought before shrugging, a smile still plastered across her freckled cheeks. 

“Anything.”

Beethoven it is.

—

His girlfriend’s first meeting with his childhood friends was at the lake. Unfortunately for the girl with two left feet, the activity was ice skating.

“Eek!”

He catches her before she falls on her butt. She’s grasping onto him for dear life and nearly drags him down with her. He chuckles as he helps steady herself on her two shaky feet.

The poor girl looked terrified.

“It’s alright. I got you. You won’t fall.” 

“I think I nearly did,” she rebutes. To her credit, she tries to move forward despite being scared. Schroeder is patient as he skates in front of her, holding onto both her hands to guide her forward ever so slowly. “I think this is my first time ice skating since I was like… nine.” She giggles, causing her to stumble slightly. She goes as still as a statue. “And I think that time I fell about a hundred times too.”

Schroeder chuckles and shakes his head. “Falling is normal. Actually, last time I skated, I fell and nearly got a concussion.” The girl blanched, her pale skin turning even lighter. A chuckle came from behind him. Franklin appeared from his right.

“He didn’t fall. Patts literally pushed him. Like this-”  

Schroeder lets go of his girlfriend’s hands briefly only to block the boy’s sneak attack. He pushed Franklin back just hard enough to make him drift away, the boy flicking him off childishly because his attack failed. But the time it takes to protect himself is enough for Cindy to plummet straight onto the ice. She falls with her knees pointing inward, her feet spreading outwards behind her. He helps her up and shoots Franklin a pointed glare. The boy apologizes quickly before rejoining his other friends at the other end of the lake where they passed a puck back and forth.

“You okay, Cici?” She winces and looks up at Schroeder with a small, embarrassed smile. Her eyes crinkle into slits. “I think I’m a hopeless ice skater. I can’t even stand without you supporting me 24/7.”

Schroeder shrugs, an encouraging smile on his lips. “That’s fine. My friends and I have been skating since we could walk. I didn’t expect you to be able to skate at our level.”

Cindy wordlessly points to the lake edge; Schroeder makes sure they safely make it there. She plops down on the wet grass with a sigh. She smiles at him apologetically. “Sorry. You should be having fun with your friends and I’m holding you back because you have to babysit me.”

He huffs and sits down next to her. “Nonsense. I’m having fun skating with you. You’re actually saving me from another concussion, y’know.” He begins taking off his hockey skates before she covers up his laces.

“What are you doing?”

He gently removes her hands and finishes taking off the skates. He then helps undo her skates. “I’m hungry and want to leave.” 

She pouts. “You’re just saying that.” Schroeder shrugs nonchalantly. 

“You can’t prove that.” He hands her her shoes and she begrudgingly puts them on. He sees the guilt in her eyes. 

“Hey.” He pushes her chin to face him. “Don’t feel bad. I really am hungry but if you feel that guilty, just remember that these guys will probably want to go ice skating like another three times before I leave. And next time they do want to skate, we’ll bring a picnic blanket, warm blankets, and some snacks so you can just watch me play. Yeah?”

He watches as her pout breaks into a wide grin. She nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! Okay!”

Schroeder smiles before helping her up off the ground. He waves at his friends and shouts. “We’re gonna head back early! Call me when you guys make plans!”

—

“It’s just like highschool, isn’t it?” Charlie Brown asked, slinging an arm around Schroeder’s shoulders. The pianist sighed as he glanced around the dark room.

“Yeah.”

It was nostalgic to see all the kids he went to highschool with back under one roof. Peppermint Patty’s roof, to be exact. 

With her dad being away on another one of his business trips, Patty took the opportunity to host one of her long-forgotten parties. 

Schroeder was surprised with how many people were here considering that everyone here were now adults with adult lives now. He supposed that coming from a small town made it so that you always gravitate back home, one way or another. 

Though, there were some primary people missing, like the two gingers. There were rumors that Frieda was modeling somewhere in Latin America and that Heather was doing ballet in Europe. No one knew for sure though. 

This made Schroeder’s girlfriend the only redhead at this party. 

Cindy, although normally extroverted, was too shy to introduce herself on her own. She was practically glued to his side since they got here. I just don’t want to embarrass myself in front of your friends, she had explained to him. 

Schroeder didn’t mind having her on his arm the whole night if that’s what his girlfriend was most comfortable with. The small, dark part of him also enjoyed the jealous looks old classmates gave him when they saw the girl plastered at his side.

Cindy was gorgeous but not your average classic American beauty. Her hair was so red that you might have thought it was dyed that fiery color. She was tall, towering over most girls at a height of 5 '7. Her long, slender legs spilled out of a short dress. Her face, contrasting her soft personality, was sharp like it was chiseled from marble. 

She was Schroeder’s Helen of Troy.

Cindy hummed and sipped on her drink. “You guys partied a lot back in highschool?” With this, Charlie Brown howled a laugh, leaning backwards. The party host joined in out of nowhere, a habit she never lost, and grabbed the redhead by the wrist. Marcie loops herself onto her other side. 

“Oh, we partied alright. Lemme show you how crazy we get down here, city girl.” Cindy’s eyes widened, head darting to Schroeder, as Patty whisks her away to the dance floor/living room. Help me, her face screamed. 

His initial reaction is to do as she asked: Help. But looking at Peppermint Patty’s cheerful expression and Marcie’s gentle smile, he knew that his girlfriend would be in good hands. He also knew that Cindy just needed a little push of encouragement and that social side of hers would surely shine through past her initial shyness. So, he lets his two girl friends steal his girlfriend away. He shoots her a wink of encouragement right before she disappears into the crowd.

“So… your new girlfriend…”

Schroeder averted his gaze from where he last saw his girlfriend to his best friend, still wrapped in his arm. His brows furrowed. Something about Charlie’s tone made him worry. Did he not like her? He tried to recount her behavior tonight and besides from being altogether shy, nothing stood out that would make anyone dis like her. “Cindy? Yeah, what about her?”

Charlie Brown then flushed with a shaky sort of embarrassed grin on his lips. “She’s pretty cute.” Schroeder’s nose reflexively scrunched up. He shrugged his friend’s arm off his shoulder.

“Seriously, dude? You were checking out my girlfriend?” 

The bashful boy raised his arms up in defense. “I think everyone’s been staring.”

Schroeder huffed. A flash of red in the living room makes him turn his head. Cindy looked like she was finally feeling comfortable, dancing with Peppermint Patty and Marcie. Her lively presence attracted more people to surround her, a living candle to the moths around her. He grinned.

“Yeah, well- I guess I can’t blame you. She is pretty, huh?” Charlie wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“She’s also a ginger.” 

Schroeder laughed as he jokingly shoved his friend. “Gross. You have a type, Charlie Brown.”

Charlie chuckled and took a sip of his drink. He pointed over at Cindy with his cup. Looking over, it seemed that Franklin, Pigpen, and Shermy had joined in. “You really like her then?” 

Schroeder rolled his eyes. Charlie Brown was the biggest skeptic of his new relationship. It made sense since Charlie was also the only person back home that knew of Evelynn and the… personal struggles Schroeder had in that relationship. No one else knew of his unhealthy relationship whilst still having feelings for his ex. But that was over two years ago and his relationship with Lucy was even longer ago.

Schroeder was over Lucy van Pelt and head over heels with Cindy. He knew that for a fact, felt it deep in his bones. 

There was really no way to prove his devotion to Cindy than to let time tell it for him.

“Yes, Charlie. I really, extremely, profoundly like Cindy,” he told his friend in a monotone voice, his expression tired. 

Instead of prying any further like how he thought he was going to, his friend smiled and patted him on the back. He nodded, pleased with his answer. “Good. I’m glad. You deserve to be happy, Schroeder.” 

Schroeder nodded, gratitude overwhelming him, and downed the rest of his drink. Charlie Brown mimicked him. They tossed their empty cups into the trash before heading over to their friends. His eyes are glued on Cindy’s dancing form as he sneakily snaked an arm around his girlfriend’s waist from behind. The girl gasped and turned around, the biggest smile on her face.

“Sunny!” She wrapped her arms around his neck. She craned her neck upwards for a kiss and Schroeder grinned as he closed the remaining distance, placing a tender kiss to her lips, still smiling. Her lips tasted like cherries mixed with alcohol. His own little Shirley Temple. Cindy pulled away first before he could absolutely devour her. She giggled.

“Your friends are so fun! Pigpen, Shermy, and Patty are just the funniest and then there’s Franklin and Marcie who made sure I was feeling comfortable the whole time. Oh! And I just met the sweetest girl. We were dancing together for a while.” 

Schroeder smiled at his girlfriend’s rambling, peering down at her. He was glad that his friends had welcomed her with open arms; she was obviously having a good time. “Yeah? And who’s that?”

Cindy unwrapped herself from him and instead intertwined their hands. Using her free hand, she grabbed another hand. Schroeder’s breathing faltered briefly. He knew that hand from anywhere.

His girlfriend pulled Lucy van Pelt in front of him. How had he not noticed her standing there? Was she there the whole time? Did she just watch him kiss Cindy like some depraved, horny animal? He flushed deeply. He just hoped that the room was just dark enough to hide his reaction.

Schroeder’s ex stared at him with an awkward smile. She gave him a tiny wave.

“Hi, Schroeder.”

“Oh, um- Hey, Lucy.”

Seeing his ex and girlfriend side-by-side, Schroeder realized their stark differences. One girl was tall while the other was short. One had long black hair and the other had short red hair. One fair skinned, one tan. 

If he had to also write out the difference in their personalities, that list would only grow longer.

Cindy gasped and looked between the two in shock. “You two know each other?”

Schroeder snapped out of whatever trance he was in and looked back at his girlfriend. He squeezed her hand reflectively. “Yeah. We actually d-”

Eric appeared at Lucy’s side, two drinks in hand. He gives one of them to his girlfriend before grinning at Schroeder. He greets him with a side hug. “Schroeder! I didn’t know you were back in town! What happened to summer? You didn’t come around.”

For once, he was grateful for Eric’s random appearance. Schroeder thought he might die from embarrassment. He chuckled, shrugging. “Oh, y’know. Busy. My manager lined me up with back-to-back concerts as soon as I graduated. Finally convinced the man to let me breathe for the holidays.”

Eric hummed, nodding. “Oh yeah. I feel ya. Me and Lucy are gonna be busy with med school once we head back to Cali. Don’t know how often we’ll have the chance to come down once we start.” Schroeder glanced over at Lucy and gave her an approving nod. 

“You made it into med school? I’m proud of you, Lucy.” Flashbacks of her simmering doubt back in highschool came back to him. He smiled. See? I knew you could.

The girl blushed and looked away, taking the chance to sip on her drink. She mumbled a quiet thanks, not elaborating on her achievements further.

“Oh.” Remembering Cindy still beside him, he tugged on her hand. During his conversation with Eric, his girlfriend had shrinked behind him like a turtle retracting into the safety of its shell. “This is my girlfriend, Cynthia. It’s her first time being here in town.”

Eric waved. “Nice to meet you, Cynthia. I’m Eric and,” he paused to wrap an arm around Lucy’s shoulders, pulling her in. “I’m Lucy’s boyfriend.”

“Hi,” Cindy meekly said, offering the boy her own tiny wave. “Please, call me Cindy.” She looked at them with curious eyes. “Did you both live around here growing up? I don’t think I recognize your faces.” 

“Only Lucy did,” Schroeder answered immediately. “She and I actually-” He stopped himself. One look at Lucy’s ghostly face reminded him that her boyfriend still thought that the two of them were just neighbors. Shit. Lying for Lucy had finally caught up to him. And now what? He was supposed to lie to his girlfriend too?

He formed a tight-lipped smile. “Lucy actually lives next door. We’re neighbors.”

Schroeder watched how the color returned to his ex’s face. How her tense shoulders loosened. How she leaned against Eric. He didn’t know how she could relax just like that. He felt terrible.

Why keep covering for her? Why not tell your girlfriend the truth? You owe Lucy nothing. Don’t ruin your own relationship to save your ex’s.

Why do you care so much?

His subconscious taunted him relentlessly. He felt the hand in Cindy’s start to gather sweat. He played it cool, slipping his arm to her waist and discreetly wiping that hand on her waist. 

Cindy hummed thoughtfully and leaned into him, tangling her own arms around his torso so that she hugged his side. “Aw, that’s cute. Must be nice having a friend your age living next door all your life.”

“Well, I moved to the city nearby for a while so we weren’t that close,” Lucy corrects her quickly, almost hastily. Schroeder couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at his ex. He held in a disbelieving scoff. Not that close. She had already dug his grave, no need to throw the dirt on him too.

Eric laughed, oblivious to the same lie being told to him. “I thought the same thing! Hey, you know what? Let’s have a double date. Doesn’t that sound fun, baby?”

Schroeder and Lucy gave each other a knowing look. They shared the same panicked expression. We fucked up.

Before either of them could make up some excuse to turn down Eric’s idea, Cindy squealed and pulled on Schroeder’s arm excitedly. 

“Oh! A double date sounds like fun! Let’s do it!” She let go of Schroeder to grapple onto Lucy. The dark haired girl was befuddled to have the ginger cling onto her so fervently. Cindy glanced back at him with a smile that he simply could not deny. “Whatchu think, Sunny? Then I could hang out with Lucy more too!”

Schroeder mustered up a smile. With a small sigh and a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

—

Schroeder quickly realized why.

Every romantic thing he did with Cindy felt like he was being watched by Lucy. 

He felt the pinpricks tingling on the back of his neck every time he held his girlfriend’s hand. Or a tickle down his spine while he kissed her when he thought the other couple wasn’t looking.

But every single time he turned towards the sensation, he’d find his ex talking or looking at her boyfriend, an innocent smile on her face. Then, Lucy’d shoot him an odd stare that screamed “Why are you staring? Don’t be weird.”

I must be going crazy, Schroeder surmised in exasperation. And if I’m not, then I’m still crazy for even doing this double date thing.

Cindy elbowed him. She leaned toward him, whispering, “Are you okay, Sunny? I feel like you’re not paying attention.” Schroeder glanced at the big projector in front of him. Based on the characters current conversation, yeah, he had no idea what was going on.

He gave his girlfriend an apologetic smile, unsure if she could even see his expression in the dark theatre. “Yeah, I think I might have dozed off. Sorry, Cici. Must be tired from the arcade and mall earlier.”

He’s able to make out the small movement of her head bobbing. “Oh. You must be pretty tired then, huh? Should we go?” She made a plan to stand, but Schroeder quickly stopped her. He shook his head, placing a hand over hers.

“It’s fine. We can leave after the movie.” They were only a third finished at most, but this was one of those holiday chick flicks that Cindy really wanted to watch. He stood then crouched, careful to not block the view of the people behind him. “I’ll just go buy a slushy. Maybe some sugar will wake me up. You want anything?”

After an immediate “no,” Schroeder excused himself past the people in his row. That eerie feeling that he was being watched urged him to rush down the stairs, nearly tripping, and out of the theatre. Once he was out, that feeling went away and he felt like he could breathe again.

Jesus, was this my psyche trying to make me feel guilty dating someone new? Couldn’t he move on happily in peace? It was getting a bit ridiculous honestly. Schroeder huffed, rolling his shoulders back. Well, it was going to take more than that to ruin a perfectly good date with Cindy.

He used the restroom before heading over to the dingy-lit concession stand. The neon yellow “Popcorn” sign flickered in no specific pattern, its letters desperately begging to be refilled. The movie theatre employee behind the booth stared at him indifferently as Schroeder walked up to the register.

“One slushy please. Cherry flavored.”

The employee blew a bubble and it popped as they pointed to Schroeder’s right. “And for the girl?”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “The girl? What girl- Holy shit!”

Schroeder clutched his chest painfully, his heart threatening to leap out of its cage, as he saw Lucy standing next to him. After his horrifying day of imagining that she was creepily watching his every move, this did not help ease his anxiety. She tilted her head to the side at his reaction. 

“Sorry. Did I scare you?”

He sputtered unceremoniously as he stared at her in bewilderment. “Yeah! You did, Lucy! I think I may have died from shock just now.”

The girl rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She crossed her arms and waved him off. “You’re just being dramatic. What are you doing buying snacks in the middle of the movie anyways?”

He blinked at her. Where was this conversation heading? He had no clue. “Uh… I wanted a slush.”

Lucy pursed her lips and clasped her hands together behind her back. It looked like she wanted to say something. Or maybe she was waiting for him to say something. He jabbed a thumb to the employee, still waiting for him to finish the order. “Do… you want something?”

At this, Lucy smiled. “One small thing of caramel popcorn please,” she instructed without breaking eye contact. Schroeder shook his head with an airy chuckle. She just followed me out here so I could buy her snacks.

He paid for both and received his cherry slushy and Lucy’s sweet popcorn. He handed the popcorn to her and she took it with a gleeful thanks.

“So… what’s up with ‘Sunny?’” Lucy asked inquisitively as they made their way back to the theatre. He took a sip of his drink, artificial cherry flooding his mouth.

“Huh?”

Lucy rolled her eyes again, hugging the paper bag of popcorn to her chest. “The name your girlfriend calls you,” she clarifies, sounding annoyed from having to repeat herself. Ah.

“Short for ‘Sunshine,’ I guess. Cici used to tell me that I was her lifesaver—it’s a long story. But when we started dating, she started saying that I was a ray of sunshine in gloomy NYC because of how often I came to her rescue. So uh- yeah. Sunny.”

Schroeder blushed, a little embarrassed that he had to explain the nickname Cindy gave him. Sunny and Sunshine was certainly more PDA than he liked, but he liked Cindy so he let her keep calling him that. And hearing Lucy call him that of all people—well—he wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole.

Lucy laughed and gripped her popcorn closer. The bag crinkled under her harsh touch. “Cici and Sunny? My, haven’t you grown to be the romantic, Schroeder?” 

Something about her tone made him shiver. She was laughing but wasn’t. Her words were sweet but there was a hint of malice underneath them. Oh no, she doesn’t get to be the judge here. Not with all the scheming that brought them on this damned double date in the first place. Schroeder gave her his own empty chuckle. He stared at her with a smile that didn’t quite reach the eyes. 

“Well, my childhood friend taught me everything I know.”

Lucy’s eyes grew wide, her mouth parting slightly. He regretted his words instantly. Schroeder looked away in hot shame. He wasn’t the type to fall for cheap taunts, yet he had done so anyway.

She stopped walking, causing him to stop as well. He sighed, an apology already at the tip of his tongue. “Lucy, I-”

“I’m not embarrassed of you, Schroeder.”

“What-”

She cut him off a second time, “I see how Charlie Brown and them stare at me. They think I regret us, but I was never embarrassed of our past. I know that it doesn’t seem that way with how I’ve been lying to Eric, but it’s true. I only lied because I thought it would be easier to explain it that way. To explain us that way,” she said, gesturing between the two of them. She dropped her arms and let her shoulders sag in defeat. “I knew it was a mistake the moment it happened.”