Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I wish to wear clothes Isabeau has made,”

“I wish to wear clothes Isabeau has made,”

“I wish to wear clothes Isabeau has made…”

————

Going through the House was… interesting. Siffrin knew, of course, that it’d be tough. Instinct could only carry them so far, after all. The place was crawling with Sadnesses and had the King at the top. There’d be no avoiding danger entirely, but that was fine! They knew how to use their dagger, and a bit more experience would probably do the group some good, so long as they could keep on top of healing! So it was fine that, no matter which way they went, there was part of him screaming to just lead everyone back out again, but the doors were closed. Nowhere to go but forward.

It was fine that it was near blinding, near deafening. Fine that it was a fight to figure out the way forward when usually it was first-nature.

It was fine that they couldn’t figure out what the “Death Corridor” was about even though something inside of him agreed with Mirabelle—they’d ultimately had no choice but to move past and it was… fine? It was fine that he had to plaster on a smile and all he could do was warn them that there was something tough ahead before they ran into a strong Sadness…

It was fine that no food was set aside for him at snack time. He couldn’t eat it anyways, right? Sure, it felt good to be included, felt warm to be cared for, and there was something fun about trying to sneak their portions onto everyone else’s plate, but it was fine, it was fine! There wasn’t time for silly things like that anyways, right?

Though… it was nice to hear the others chatter, joking around a bit. Really cut the tension! And it was nice to just quietly listen to their friends talk.

Everything was fine up until, on the second floor, there was a choice to be made…

Maybe it was the way their instincts said there was no safe path, maybe it was being forced to choose between his friends, maybe maybe maybe…

“Sorry Mira, sorry Isa, but Age over Beauty!”

They chose wrong.

They tore the infirmary apart looking for a key, but it was too late. The moment they all walked in there, he could feel their options constrict. It was always a hard thing to explain to people, but it was like, like…

Well, it was similar to when they popped a limb off and went far enough away that it lost connection. Not painful, not to them, but suddenly he felt smaller. He felt cut off, pressed into a smaller container, missing something.

They’d messed up, and it went from no good way forward to no way forward at all.

It was hopeless, but some desperate part of them searched anyways, looking around for any kind of key, any clue, anything…

They pull a broken, porcelain doll from the cabinet. It’s cracked, half of their face missing… if he had the rest, or even material, they could mend it, but there was nothing to work with. So instead he just slowly brought them ( it, there was nothing inside, it was hollow) to his chest, cradling it and stroking what hair remained.

Everyone was staring; he didn’t want to know what expression was on his face right now that they all looked so sad, so scared.

“I’m sorry. There’s- there’s nothing here. No way forward. I-I… we can’t…”

You feel a tug…

“I failed you.”

On your core…

Chapter Text

Thank stars that Siffrin had been sitting down, because otherwise he was pretty sure he’d have fallen over…

Wait. Why was he sitting down? Wasn’t he just in the house? He looked down to the broken doll in his hands, but it wasn’t a broken doll, it was his own detached calf with that stubborn patch of mud once more needing to be cleaned out.

…

HUH?!

Hadn’t he already done that yesterday? Wasn’t he in the House? Had that been some kind of vision? That wasn’t really a thing that happened to him though…? It wasn’t like he really “slept” either, more just… dissipated? Relaxed? The best human term he had for it was somewhere between “trance” and “stretching,” awareness softening and widening as he just watched… Which maybe? That? Happened? But he didn’t exactly move much during those little space-outs of his, and he didn’t hallucinate either… probably??? It wasn’t like he could go ask the owls if they’d really caught that mouse or anything like that.

So? What? Happened???

[Pale One? Is that…?]

… he probably should’ve been way more concerned about the fact that he was hearing voices in his head, but sure! Though… Pale One? Why did that sound familiar…?

“Siffrin! Siffrin!” Mirabelle! Coming to the meadow calling his name. Didn’t that happen in the weird hallucination thingy he apparently had?

“Sif- FRIIIIN?!” She gasped, jumping nearly a foot in the air and ran over.

Well that was new! What could have?

She looked down at his still-detached leg and oh. Yeah. That’d do it.

“Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Um, I’m not sure my healing will-“

“Hey, hey, it’s okay…” Siffrin said. He swiped the worst of the mud-clump away with one hand and lined it back up to where it slotted with his thigh. With a click, it reattached, and he pushed himself back up to standing. “See? Good as new!”

“Oh… oh! Right,” she sighed in relief, giving him a nervous smile. “Sorry, I forgot you can just do that and sorta panicked… kinda silly in retrospect.”

“It’s okay! I know that for most things it’s really, really bad if limbs come off… I just wanted to get that mud out.”

“Oh. That makes sense…” She stared intently at his knee, fidgeting a bit, but looked away. “I’ll give you a little more time if you wanna clean it properly! Come to the village when you’re ready, okay?”

Siffrin gave a thumbs up as she walked away…

…

…

…

Okay. Okay don’t panic. This isn’t TOO weird yet! But what WAS that? Why is he back here? Was it because… because…

… he failed.

Okay, he was not in the House, that’s the first thing. Secondly, it’s apparently the day before when Mirabelle came to check on him just as he put his leg back on… or failed to do in this case. Third…

…

Okay he can’t think of a third. Weird voice in his head maybe counts? Sure, that counts, if only to make it three.

[Stop by the favor tree when you get a minute. See you soon!]

Well… get up Siffrin, you have a weird voice in your head and a country to save… Hopefully, he’ll do it right this time.

————

The little talk with Mira went better this time! He didn’t mess up the sleepover talk! Woo! Then straight to the favor tree (after some puns with Isa, of course).

The tree reaches overhead, just as before. There’s something strangely comforting about it. So tall that he can’t see all the way to the top from here, wide enough to cover a house or two, sturdy, old… It must’ve seen so many people come and go. Did the village build around it? Was it already grand then? He drifts under, putting a hand on the trunk. Some of the roots come up through the ground, flat enough to give some room to sit. So he does. He finds a root and sits. He’s not sure if this tree has a spirit or not, or if it’d care to hear from something like him, but he strokes the trunk and silently thanks them for the place to sit.

[Sappy as ever, I see.]

Siffrin jolts in place, looking around. Who said that? “… Favor Tree?”

[Noooope~! But close enough with the whole wishes thing.] There was something warm nearby, a subtle tug. Instinctively he tried to find the source of the voice, the warmth, the tug, but…

[You really are attached to that whole ‘sight’ thing, aren’t you? Fine, fine.] The light and shadows seemed to refract, bending into something vaguely humanoid. Dark limbs with little spatters of light (it looked like him, looked like paint he hid) and a larger light as a “head.” Indistinct, but something. [There, easier for you? Yes? Good, good.]

[So! Looks like you went back in time!]

“I… guess I did. Yeah.”

[Isn’t that convenient? And hey! It got my attention, guess the Universe blessed both of us, hmm?]

[And I do believe I can feel whatever brought you here still lingering, so no worries if you mess up again, teehee! So in other words… you’re in a timeloop!]

[So, Stardust, how can I help you this wonderful new loop?]

Siffrin looked awkwardly at this… spirit, he assumed. They seemed quite happy, and it was nice to have someone that knew, but why were they acting so over familiar?

“… sorry, but do I know you?”

The other’s glow dimmed, form threatening to collapse into darkness. Oh stars, they messed up!

“Sorry! I, um, feel like I should? But…”

[Well, we’ll have time to get reacquainted, I assure you. Though maybe it’d be a little easier if you took that off?] It gestured to all of them.

It took embarrassingly long for Siffrin to register that they probably meant their body… the doll. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “… no???”

[Oh well, suit yourself.]

They both lingered in awkward silence. Siffrin kicked his legs while, um… wait…

“Do you… have a name right now?”

Names were strange things with spirits. Gifted things. A way of saying “ I want you, this you, to stay. I want to be able to get your attention and call you. ” Which was distinct from a title or description since, y’know, people still had to be able to refer to you as something .

[Oh Stardust, you don’t need that to get my attention! Call me whatever you like. Though since I imagine you will, in fact, be referring to me, I’m it/they by the way.]

They fidgeted on the log, looking around and trying to think of something. And, well, in his defense for what eventually came out of his mouth, spirits in general were not known for their ability to name things. “Loop Helper… no, that’s a mouthful. So just… Loop?”

[Loop works! Loop! Your helpful guide through the loops! Or I’ll try to be helpful, at least. What can I say, I like trouble and it likes me~]

[But for now, well, whatever you did, you should know better this time, right? Go on Stardust, get back out there! I’ll be waiting~]

Whatever they did next looked somewhat like a wave, but felt more like a push… well, that was overselling it. A nudge, more like. Loop was probably right, he had a second chance, so might as well use it!

“Good meeting you!” He said, giving a wave as he left. He doubted they’d see each other again though.

After all, he couldn’t mess it up twice, right?

Chapter Text

“Hi Isa im gonna do the favor tree thing!”

“O… kay?”

Normally, Siffrin would’ve never brushed Isabeau off so fast. But he was pretty sure his face was considerably warmer than usual and also he felt just so stupid he’d rather not talk to anyone.

Especially. The person. They were going to talk to. Did Loop know? Maybe not? How would Loop-

The wave of amusement and the way the air sizzled with unnatural heat told him all he needed, the other spirit cackling in his head was just adding, what was the saying? Sugar to the wound?

“Oh shut up.”

[A giant rock? Really ?!]

“It wasn’t there last time!!!”

[I think it was! That’s how timeloops WORK! I mean, in theory at least. Not like this happens often.]

Siffrin huffed, picked up a pebble, and threw it straight through Loop’s semi-coherent form. It did nothing but make Loop spark harder.

He let out a long, belabored sigh. “Then why did it hit us this time and not last time?” He’d felt something off about that room, but it was utterly harmless last time!

[Who knows, Stardust! But I’m guessing you did something different.]

“I think I checked less? Is- is it reverse time sensitive? Is that a thing?” He wasn’t sure how, exactly, one would make a trap where you have to spend a certain amount of time in a room before leaving would work, but he couldn’t think of what else would be causing it!

[Well, that sounds like a good start to me! Just dawdle in there a bit. Not like you don’t have the time.]

“Guess that makes sense. See you next time, Loop.”

——————

…

…

Loop didn’t have much in the line of facial features (though they did seem a little more distinct than last time?), but somehow Siffrin got the distinct feeling they were grinning at him.

[Sooooo, Stardust, you got crushed by a giant-]

“YES I GOT CRUSHED BY A GIANT ROCK AGAIN!”

The other made no outright audible noise, but??? Still???

“Stop laughing at me!” He huffed.

[Sorry Stardust~! You’re just so blinding cute when you’re all frustrated like this! Do you need Loop, helpful Loop, to figure out the rock for you?]

“I can figure it out!” He was the traps guy! The guide! He had to be missing SOMETHING! On his honor as traps guy, he WOULD beat the rock!

[Mm hmm, suuuuure you can~ Buuuut if you ever get tired of trying to plug a black hole, I could probably give it a go!]

“… what does that mean?” Siffrin said. His arms went to cover his chest as he learned away from Loop.

Loop made a sort of back and forth motion, like a person bobbing their head, or maybe someone setting a lure for a cat. Like an anglerfish in the water. It seemed to get closer without visibly walking towards him. [Your doll! I might be a bit rusty with using these things, but I’m sure I could figure it out again.] There was a sort of… pressure? No, a tug. Pulling him in.

Siffrin flinched back, legs covering his chest. In the shade of the tree, he didn’t bother to hide it as light laced into his hair, flaring so bright it nearly crackled. “This is ME! You can’t have it!”

Loop was abruptly back where they should’ve been, but now with the distinct impression of being wide-eyed. Shocked. Though they settled almost too quickly. [What? Don’t trust me? I’m hurt, Stardust! Besides, seems like if it gets destroyed, that sends you back anyways!]

“We don’t know that! Besides, that’s not even how it happened the first time?” His gaze briefly drifted up into the tree leaves, but snapped back on Loop. He wasn’t looking away from them THAT soon after… whatever that was.

[Oh?]

“Yeah, the first time I… I chose the wrong path. Probably. It was a dead-end…” He sunk in on himself, feeling cold and too-heavy. It was still hard to believe he did that, that he almost ended their whole quest just like that…

[Really? That’s not like us at all!]

“Right? But… it feels like, like…” His fingers tighten around the fabric of his clothes. “Like there is no way through.“

[Well, maybe there isn’t one! Yet! But you’ve got yourself however many retries you need, and! You have me! Whether it’s being your little sounding board, giving advice, or leading your little sheep-]

“They’re not sheep!”

[…. into danger for you, I’m right here in your orbit.]

That still felt vaguely threatening, but also weirdly sweet? Kinda?

…

“Thank you, Loop.”

[Always.]

Siffrin stood up to try again, and…

[Try not to get crushed by a giant rock this time!]

Siffrin chuckled another pebble at them.

Chapter Text

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold.

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold.

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold.

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold.

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold.

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold.

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold .

Siffrin was in the House. Bonnie had said something about tears. They were so cold .

Siffrin was in the

“Siffrin!”

… Meadow?

“Siffrin!” Steps across grass. Mira! “Sif- FRIIIIN?!” She jumped, eyes wide and looking horrified. Why? Was it because he was so cold? Could- could he move again?

Siffrin tried to get up and was promptly reminded the loops started with one leg detached.

“SIFFRIN!” Mirabelle ran over, helping pick him up. “Are you okay? How did you get hurt? Um, I’m not sure my healing will-“

“Hey, hey, it’s okay…” Siffrin said. It felt like he was moving through molasses. Regardless, he wiggled out of her grasp, flicked away the mud on his leg, and reattached it with a click. “See? Good as new!”

“Oh… oh! Right,” she sighed in relief, giving him a nervous smile. “Sorry, I forgot you can just do that and sorta panicked… kinda silly in retrospect.”

“It’s okay! I know that for most things it’s really, really bad if limbs come off… I just wanted to get that mud out.” He’d said this before, but it worked last time, so why not just run with it? It was easier than trying to think straight like this when part of him still thought he was in the house, that feeling of sharp, painful horror emanating from his friends because he got too distracted celebrating about the rock and didn’t stop Bonnie from pushing, horrified because he failed he failed he failed.

“Oh. That makes sense…” She stared intently at his knee, fidgeting a bit, but looked away. “I’ll give you a little more time if you wanna clean it properly! Come to the village when you’re ready, okay?”

Siffrin nodded…

[Stardust, are you okay?! That… oh Universe, what was that?! Just. Come see me. Okay? Please. With or without the doll, I don’t care.]

Siffrin nodded, trusting that his affirmative would get through to Loop one way or another. Besides, he wanted to see them too. The chill was lingering. Could Loop warm it away? Or was Siffrin doomed to exist like this?

The same dialogue. Easier to just say what he’s already said to Mirabelle, to Isabeau. A sleepover, a pun… it felt normal, honestly. Grounding. The same familiar-sweet, gentle warmth and affection he was used to, albeit undercut with concern from Mirabelle. It felt a little unearned, given he was only half paying attention at best, but it was still nice to be greeted by his friends.

Though, at least this time, not as nice as it was to be greeted by Loop. Their familiar almost-form was closer this time, their radiating around them both. The gentle pull on Siffrin’s core was welcome this time, even moreso as it moved around them.

Orbit!!!

They wanted to join in too, maybe both of them around the favor tree? But their tendency to pace in circles often got the itchy-bad kind of attention, got looks of concern and feelings of restlessness, and they could never explain why they did it, only that it felt right. But it concerned people, and was a very not-human thing to do, so they usually just settled into a tent and let their mind stretch out that way.

But even without doing so himself, it was? Weirdly? Flattering??? To be important enough to be orbited, to feel that gentle tug of another body, keeping him from flying off… he could get used to that.

[Feeling better, Stardust?]

“Yeah, thanks Loop.”

Regardless, they didn’t stop. Round and around they go… [Goodness, that was… quite the occurrence. What did you do?]

“You can say that again,” Siffrin mumbled. Though he had no lungs to deflate, he still mimed a long sigh. His face warmed, but he clamped down before too much of himself could seep out. “I was too excited about skipping the rock… and Bonnie knocked me into a tear.”

[Pffffft.]

“Rude.” He sighed, running gloved fingers through his hair. “Sorry. ‘M just grumpy. Feels like I’m going backwards, somehow. I mean, the first time, I made it to the second blinding floor! Now I can’t even clear the first.”

[I mean, I imagine you were pretty serious that first time! But now? What’s the rush? You know you aren’t going to make it the whole way through-]

Siffrin stood up. “Yes I will!” His hair flared as though he was underwater, glowing bright enough that it’d be obvious even outside of the shade of the favor tree.

Loop’s form flared as well as they pulled back. Did they have eyes now? Or was Siffrin making that up? Either way, it looked like their eyes widened in shock. They gave the impression of holding hands up placatingly. [Okay, okay! If you say so. But really… what’s the rush? You’ve got however many retries you want!]

“I shouldn’t have needed any…” He had ONE job. Be the trap person, find things, lead the way. And he had managed to miss things over and over and over.

[Aaaaw, c’mon Stardust. No need to sulk. You of all people should know that even this distant, tiny rock looks pretty big when you’re on it! And! It’s full of things! People, spirits, soulless objects, all of which can help or hinder whoever they please!]

“Yeah, but there’s nothing working against me. It’s just a House.”

[A House distorted by incredible amounts of power that wants to keep people out. Besides, who knows? Maybe the King had some help too!]

Siffrin huffed. “Who’d help the King?”

[Who knows? I mean, he’s a pretty prominent figure. I’m sure there’s something out there that’d take interest in that, whether for fame or infamy. Not every spirit thrives on a diet of gratitude, paint, and sentimental mush. After all, look at all the Sadnesses running around!]

He didn’t like it, but… “I guess that’s true. Just, ugh… rather not deal with another roadblock…”

[Oh don’t worry Stardust. If that sad sack ever had help, it’s long gone now.]

Chapter Text

… no.

No way.

No blinding way!

There’s no possible way he missed this… but only one way to check?

Click!

BOOM!

Everyone jumped a foot or two in the air as the rock slammed to the floor. For a few seconds, Siffrin stood as still as someone frozen in time until he processed the distinct presence of things like fingers, legs, and vision. He looked over and…

“Rock. On the floor,” he said, dumbly.

“It is!” Mirabelle said.

“Rock on the floor!” Siffrin repeated. He moved over (because he wasn’t broken! His pieces were still together!). 

“… yes. Yes it is,” Odile said. The confusion pouring off of her was probably palpable even to everyone else. 

“ROCK! ON! THE! FLOOR!” Siffrin shouted. 

He’d done it! He’d found an ACTUAL way to guarantee this thing didn’t crush him! Or anyone! There was a switch! This whole time! Probably! Feels kinda dumb to have missed that but FINALLY!

Cackling with the unceasing volume of someone who doesn’t actually need air, Siffrin climbed the rock. They rammed their heel into it, over and over. “Take that, you blinding ROCK! Blind you blind you! Blind! You!” 

“Siffrin, are you okay?” Mirabelle asked.

Not even the mix of everyone’s confusion and concern could ground Siffrin from this high.

“Do… do you have a grudge against the rock?” Odile said. 

“Yep!”

“Dare I ask why?”

“Long story! I’ll explain later if it matters!” Siffrin chirped. Maybe it was tempting fate, but he did a little dance. “Eat it, rock!”

Isabeau snorted, fizzy-fun feeling of amusement  breaking through the clinging-thick concern. He walked over too! “Yeah! Eat it, rock! SMASH!” Punch!

…

“Ow…”

“Isabeau. Just because you’re a rock type doesn’t mean you can break other rocks,” Odile said. Her amusement was flatter, like in-sparkling water, but had a bit of a spice to it.

“Hehe, Za punched a rock!” Bonnie said. “You can’t punch rocks!” They walked over and… “You gotta kick ‘em!” Kick! 

“… ow.”

“Maybe we should stop trying to beat up the death trap,” Mirabelle said. She kept her face steady, and there was still a layer of concern, but those amusement bubbles were trying to well up in her too! 

Siffrin didn’t even bother to hide the glow in his hair as he finally hopped down. “You’re right, you’re right. Sorry, got a little caught up. This way!”

He felt great! This was going to save sooooo many loops and so much worrying! Well, maybe! Just have to remember the tears too, and to go with the… the… Age Alliance? That sounded right! Right? 

[Oh! Well that’s new!]

Siffrin stumbled from surprise, but quickly blamed it on a patch of uneven floor. Was that Loop? They’d never talked to him in the House before! Could they even get in here?

[Oh Stardust, you’ve been in that silly doll too long! I’ve got free rein of this place!]

Siffrin squinted accusingly at a nearby pillar and hoped Loop just sort of understood that it was meant for them. They could’ve been helping this whole time?!

[… you really have been in there too long if you think it works like that. Besides, they’re your party, and they have all that icky affection! I don’t want that! Gross!]

[Aaaand not why I’m calling. You got a Memory! One of the strong ones too!]

… huh? That sounded… familiar, actually. 

[Not sure if it’ll change your hue forever or anything, buuuuut should be potent enough to help out. Enough pre-amble though. Ahem…]

[You got: MEMORY OF BOULDERING! When you have this equipped, Rock Types no longer take reduced damage from your scissors attacks. Lucky you! I… think?]

Yes! Yes lucky him! Even if he still takes more damage from rock types, that’s frankly amazing??? 

[I don’t know how your weird human-y crafts work!]

Oh. Oh no. They’re stupid (affectionate). 

[Noooooooooo!]

Siffrin snickers under their breath as they move forward unthinkingly, riding on cloud nine up until-

“If you touch one you'll be frozen in time, that's what they told me. There were a few outside the village too...” Bonnie! About to touch tears! He has to go back and stop-

Bonk.

Right. Bonnie pushed you. 

Right. Bonnie pushed you.

Right. Bonnie pushed you.

Right. Bonnie pushed you.

Right. Bonnie pushed you.

Right. Bonnie pushed-

<| <     ||

NO BLIND THAT! 

He’s not going through ALL of that again! He’s staring! In! The blinding! House! 

(It’s like grabbing something, in a way. But grabbing it without hands. Pulling two bodies together by sheer force until he’s stable. Until he’s back.)

<| <| 

… and he is. He’s back in the House again! Though not as far, still!!!

[… huh. Well, that’s convenient! But are you feeling okay?]

Is he? He feels a little emptier?

[Probably had to burn a few minor memories for that little maneuver, buuuuut since you’re apparently an expert on knife craft or whatever it is, I’m sure you’ve got enough battle memories!]

Yeah… yeah. Okay, he can do that. Who cares if he forgets a few Sadnesses?

[Guess that means you won’t be visiting little old me by the tree as much… hah! As if that’d be an issue. Buuuut pretty sure your little flock is already noticing you spacing out. I’ll try not to bother you too much in the House, wouldn’t want to distract you. Talk to you later, Stardust! And remember who pushes who this time, okay?]

Oh shut up.

There is the distinct feeling of someone giggling at him, a phantom sensation of fizzy-fun…. No. Sparky? That sounds closer. Sparky fun! Glad to know his embarrassment amuses them, at least. 

Back to it! 

Click!

Boom! 

Still satisfying the second time.