Archive of Our Own ^beta

Gandardaville was humid in the summer. The regular rainfall and the winding rivers made the air feel stuffy and the ground wet. 

Normally Cyno would be ill at ease in these kinds of conditions. He was at heart a desert dweller, thriving in the blistering dry heat of the sand dunes. But today was a nice day, and if he sat at the top of a hill he could feel the sun upon his face. A welcoming sun, not the bright and blinding sun he preferred, but a sun nonetheless. 

Relax, the god within him whispered.

Cyno straightened his back and closed his eyes. Right. He was supposed to be meditating. 

He felt a brush against his mind, and instinctively he slammed his mental defenses up, eyes blowing wide open and hand out ready to manifest his spear. 

He was still alone.

Relaxing back into his stance, he could feel Hermanubis hovering just beyond the point of discomfort. “Sorry, I-”

This is hardly the first time you’ve reacted as such.

“I made a deal with you. I should not shut you out like that. It’s rude.”

This is why we practice.

“I will uphold our deal.” 

And yet it brings you discomfort to do so.

“I am willing.”

I require all of my hosts to be willing, this is not an issue. Willing and comfortable are very different things. We must work together to become something more.

Cyno gave no response, closing his eyes in frustration. “What do you intend to do with my body?”

Sit here and enjoy the scenery of course.

“That’s it?”

That’s it. I will not let you come to harm. 

In truth, Cyno was terrified. He knew Hermanubis could feel it as well, the way his pulse quickened at the thought of relinquishing control of his body to another. He had always prided himself on his own strength, and yet…

It had been many years since he left the desert. Many years since this spirit had taken residence, many years since his body was completely his own. He was grateful that the spirit considered him worthy enough to accept the deal, but he was wholly unprepared for the consequences.

The power of Hermanubis was not one he was given the luxury of guidance to understand. There were places he could go, people he could track down, if he really wanted help.

But this was his deal. His contract. He had spent so many years denying the spirit’s power, insisting that he must be strong on his own before borrowing the power of another. And with the patience only a god could muster, the spirit acquiesced. He gave advice where needed, strength where Cyno’s failed, but he never cheated, never took control. Cyno had done it all on his own, enacting judgment in the spirit’s name.

It was Hermanubis who pushed him to begin this new training. You are strong now, he had whispered, and I am pleased. Allow me to show you power beyond what mortal strength alone can achieve. 

And Cyno had agreed, once again, not fully understanding the consequences. But what were consequences when he had already sworn his soul to a god?

Swallowing his fear, he turned his gaze inwards again. Hermanubis felt the shift, and slowly pushed against the corner of Cyno’s mind. 

It took every ounce of strength to not push back. 

Good, the spirit whispered, and that was the only warning Cyno received before as he flooded past Cyno’s mind. 

Instinctively Cyno’s body tried to reject it, but it was too late. His own mind was forced to watch as Hermanubis gained control of the body. Cyno would be panicking, breathing heavy and quick, if only his body would respond to the fear in his mind. But it would not. 

The spirit raised a hand in front of his face, and Cyno’s mind shuddered at the wrongness of it, knowing that he was not the one who moved the limb. “Peace,” the spirit rumbled in Cyno’s own voice. “Calm your mind. I will not bring you to harm.”

How, Cyno barely made out, struggling to push his thoughts into words. 

“Observe. Explore the bounds of the mind. Feel the body move. I will sit here and admire the scenery.”

Cyno struggled from his vantage point. It was like watching a play through his own eyes - nothing he did could change the outcome of the actions. He always knew his body was not fully his own, but never had he experienced it so vividly. Is this how you see? He asked.

“Yes. It is nice to see the world as simply an observer, though I do miss walking on my own sometimes. Focus. What can you feel?” 

Cyno focused as asked. He was still a vessel, after all, and being given a task by his god he would see it done. It gave a small bit of comfort even as he panicked. I feel nothing. Unmoored. Falling within my own body.

The spirit lifted his hand again, and then gingerly placed it on the grass. If Cyno was in control he would’ve gasped. The grass was cool beneath the fingers, still wet with dew, brushing against his skin in the light wind. 

“Can you feel the grass?” The spirit asked.

Yes. Cyno put all his focus into that one sensation, drowning out the flood in his mind. He could feel the grass.

“Good,” the spirit said, moving his hand over the ground. Then, Hermanubis pulled back, falling into the meditation pose Cyno had been in not a few minutes earlier. “Focus. Can you hear the trees? Can you smell the soil?”

Cyno struggled for a moment, forgetting that he couldn’t breathe on command, before straining his ears which were no longer his own. This was really hard. 

Eventually, Cyno focused on Hermanubis’ breath. He inhaled slowly through the nose and out through the mouth, in a regular rhythm. If Cyno concentrated enough, it was almost as if he himself was breathing. Aligning his mind with the spirit’s breath, he started to register sensations he had blocked out previously. 

He could smell the soil, wet and earthy, surrounding him as the spirit breathed. The warm breeze of the forest brushed against the body’s exposed skin, and the trees rustling were like music to the ears. All at once, Cyno could experience it, despite not being completely present in his own body. 

“Do you understand?” The spirit’s voice was soft. 

I do.

They sat like that for a few more moments, Hermanubis in control yet unmoving, watching the trees and the grass sway in the wind. 

“Thank you,” the spirit eventually said. “I’ve missed this feeling. And you have calmed. This is good.” 

It’s certainly very eye-opening, Cyno thought back.

The spirit laughed in Cyno’s voice, then said, “of course. We will practice more in the future. For now…”

Cyno felt a nudge at his mind, and suddenly he was in his own body again as the spirit gave control back. Cyno gasped for air, body still not used to the switching of of minds. 

We will practice this more in the future.

“Yes,” Cyno replied, placing a hand in the grass. “I would like that very much.”