Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time L’Arc perform after the statement from Ki/oon is released is when they appear on Music Station around Hyde’s fifth month of pregnancy. Contrary to his and Sakura’s beliefs, they’re greeted stunningly with the most ear-numbing screams and chants they’ve heard in the few short years of their careers. The fans tightly grin at them manically, latched onto Hyde’s every move, as he delivered the newest single, “Kaze ni Kienaide” to them flawlessly. He could feel their gaze, itching to find any new inklings of changes with his body, but the stylist oddly dwarfed his frame with some flowy, thick mahogany button down that could be Sakura’s size, just about. Nonetheless, he prances and twirls about the stage, per usual. He’s still animated, nothing has really changed, as far the naked eye can tell. 

Street interviews were conducted after the release of the statement. The fans lit up at the question, “How are you feeling about the announcement with L’Arc~en~Ciel?” Fans went even so far as creating their own messages directed at Hyde and Sakura, showing their support. The general consensus is that they’re elated with the news and can’t see why it would interrupt their support and loyalty. If anything, it has heightened it.

It doesn’t take long for Hyde to “pop”, as his mother so lovingly introduced the phenomena as. Alarmingly and abruptly, the stylists are having to sew panels into his leather jeans and skin-tight pants, shop for larger shirts that will comfortably and stylishly fit his new body. Sakura’s actually showing signs of being genuinely fascinated by all of it.

He just watches Hyde in his briefs in the dressing room as he tests the waist of the pants he’s wearing for the show they’ll be appearing on tonight. The stylists form a semi-circle around him as they watch in apprehension as the man around their height hikes the jeans up his slim legs. Meanwhile, Sakura keeps his eyes glued to Hyde’s middle. Last week, they found out that they’ll be expecting a son, and since then, he’s been so unmoving with his gaze, more tender with Hyde than ever—even if he bounces up and down intermittently on his nerves with his new demands, he’s somehow managing to explore patience with him. 

Hyde looks up, his globular eyes meet his reflection across the room from him, before his feet carry him to observe closer. They fit, but it’s definitely bizarre to have some fabric band stretched across himself. “Huh.” He turns to the side and looks down at the protruding belly from his frame. “They’re comfortable, actually.."

Sakura begins to crane his neck to gander bit more intimately, fanning the stylists playfully out his line of vision while they smirk to themselves knowingly. He shifts on the couch to get a better angle and curses himself for his heart leaping even just a tad. Just, to see his boyfriend carrying their child visibly now makes it all the more real to him. 

“Hide, tell me which shirt you like bet..ter..” An animated Tetsuya ceases his colorful bouncing when he comes to an abrupt halt after witnessing exactly what’s going on. He can’t seem to get a good read on the room, the stylists are in here, so’s Sakura, so is he really encroaching on a special moment? Nonetheless, it’s enough to get Sakura to snap out of his reverie and busy himself with shuffling some cards again.

Hyde turns, he’s startled, a dumbfounded smile tightly wears on his lips. “Oh, Techan.. sorry, I’m not exactly dressed..” He briskly foots over to the rack to retrieve his shirt and throws it over his head, nearly wreaking havoc on his freshly styled hair. “What's up?”

Tetsuya is far too distracted by what he just saw, more than these two garments he was so feverishly keen on gesturing to just a moment ago. Granted, he’s seen Hyde’s burgeoning stomach before, just not..jeans with panels sewn into them, let alone did he think he would ever see them on the singer. He watches as Hyde begins clasping a necklace around his neck and struggle to secure it for a moment, waiting idly for a response from him.

“Oh—just, which shirt do you think looks better? I’m going to probably wear it with that leather jacket I got from Junko’s.” He blinks to regain his composure and holds up the glorified choices. They’re both a bit loud, one being a monochrome cheetah print mesh shirt, the other is multicolored stripes. In all sincerity, both would pair horridly with said jacket, but Hyde figures he won’t be the bearer of bad news today, not when he’s in a playful mood, anyway. 

“The cheetah one, since it’s got black in it..” He nods assuredly, then watches his friend’s eyes well up with curiosity once again, this time Tetsuya isn’t so discrete with his gawking, as his gaze lands right back on the singer’s middle. There’s an eruption of outcomes going on in Hyde’s head as to why the Tetsuya’s acting so odd and looking at him so closely, but he’s having to get used to the stares more frequently and rapidly nowadays since the news broke. 

“What?” The stillness of the room and the uneven pace of dialogue serves as a means for Sakura to look over, he’s sure it’s not a confrontation, but he’d also like to eavesdrop.

“Nothing, just..” Tetsuya throws the shirts over his forearm, trembling a bit nervously as he himself can’t seem to comprehend why he’s being so awkward. His eyes meet Hyde’s intimidating, yet puzzled, fixed stare. “Nothing.”

"Okay, then." The singer puckers his lips and treads over to accompany Sakura on the couch.

"What was that all about?" Sakura's eyes fall on Tetsuya, who appears to mumbling something beneath his breath as he exists the room. A shiver creeps down his spine, despite the room being fairly warm. "He's so weird nowadays, shaking like a wet dog every time he's around you."

"I really think the baby freaks him out. Badly." Hyde guesses, tucking his frail left leg over his right one.

"Huh," Sakura hums, "He was the one advocating for an announcement and even went so far as to create a set of rules for interview questions." His words pass through his lips with spikes decorating them, shuffling the cards between his rough fingers where a few bend and contort from the pressure.

"I think it makes him nervous. You know, knowing that because of the baby, we're being watched closer than ever."

"Why should he be nervous when it's us that they're watching closer than ever?" Sakura leans between his open legs on the edge of the couch. "We're not a throuple."

"Aw," Hyde mocks, "Is someone upset he ruined the moment?" His voice softens, almost as if he's babying Sakura, a hand even strokes his back.

"What moment?"

"Don't pretend like I didn't see you looking at me like hearts weren't popping out of your eyes like a cartoon." And he watches a caught grin register slowly on his handsome features.

"Well, look at you!" He tosses the cards on the table in front of his knees, indifferent to the fact that some land on the floor, and some are spilled messily. His eyes meet Hyde's in a way that startles him, but it is a look of passion. His eyes dip down to Hyde's chest, finally stopping on his belly. "You're fully showing now.."

"He has no intention to hide, I don't think." Hyde's own eyes plunge to his belly, and his bangs slump into his eyes abruptly, tickling his lashes. "We definitely can't name him Hyde."

"You're so annoying." Sakura smirks. He assess the room in hopes that a certain leader doesn't encroach on whatever he's about to do. Carefully, he sets his hand over Hyde's belly and waits. For a moment, his expression reads as impatient, but in seconds, his lips curl up, still thoroughly amazed at the little creature who has recently learned how to use his legs.

"You should see your face."

"A look of love, I hope. You now this is my son, right?"

Hyde doesn't have a rebuttal, so instead settles for just allowing Sakura to move his hands intriguingly around his belly. He settles into the ratty pillows that sit to his left side, eyeing the Playboy magazines Ken had brought in earlier. Horny fuck, he thinks.

“So just let Hisashi know about the arrangement before the tour starts, and I think we should be good to go.”

Three out of the four members sit grudgingly in front of a cherry wood table parked in the middle of this conference room, tuning in and out of their manager’s briefing on upcoming activities. Sakura’s slumped against the glass window, emanating the pungency of his beloved cigarette to permeate the room, robbing the crispness of the fresh air from outside. He turns his head to blow the smoke outside, conscious of the damage the smoke could do if it gushed out his lips and diffused its way to Hyde’s nostrils and bloodstream. 

Hyde’s eyes have sprung back and forth to the drummer in alternation, it is as if a curtain of black has casted itself over the drummer, which is odd, because he’s been fine for the most part this week. The lines in his face stand out against his pale skin, and the sunglasses he’s donning masks any tell-tale signs of fatigue in his eyes. His head bobs meekly side to side, tuning everything out besides the occasional murmur of cars passing by. Finally, he drags the cigarette against the windowsill and flicks it out the window, and once entertained by where it landed, reaches into his pocket to pull out a fresh one from the pack.

The meeting adjourns after a staff member approaches with a pressing matter, leaving them all to grab something to satiate their hunger with or bleed the lizard, if they so please. Ken and Tetsuya both split, and Hyde sits uncomfortably, attempting to not pry.

Sakura’s disposition sings the tune of melancholy, even with everyone having left the room besides Hyde, he doesn’t budge. His shoulders slump forward and he brings himself to his knees. For the sake of curiosity, Hyde remains furtive while he begins to study the body language, and for now, it’s familiar, but he wouldn’t dare accuse Sakura of using again when he’s worked so hard to get clean and seems to be enjoying life once again, up until this week with Sakura's constant moodiness, Hyde might've even gone as far as to say he's been the happiest he’s ever seen him.

The countenance of the drummer and the discomfort in Hyde lead him down a path of questions, the main inquest being a simple “what’s wrong”, but again, his aim isn’t to make the man feel like he’s a subject to interrogation, just that he's concerned and wants to help if he can. The helplessness a person can feel when someone they love is struggling but won't open up is putting a damper on him right now.

"I can feel you staring."

Hyde flinches. "I just want to know what's wrong."

"Why?" He doesn't acknowledge the uneasiness in Hyde's voice that sits above his concern. Instead, sucks his teeth and toys with his black shoelaces, slipping them between his chapped fingers. "Why do you care so much?"

"I think it is perfectly appropriate for me to wanna make sure you're okay. You've just been quiet, and then here's something, you're sitting ten feet away and smoking cigarettes like they're going out of style..." His hand comes to situate absentmindedly over his stomach while an arched brow anchors itself to his forehead, painting lines above it.

"Mmm."

"What happened over the weekend? You've not been yourself this week. Did I do something?"

"Nooooooooooope." Sakura's laser-focused on splitting the plastic aglet on his shoelace, slightly raising his head in a way for Hyde to become cognizant of the fact that he is in fact, high. With a few habitual nods to his head and the constant fidgeting, his skepticism has ruled in his favor. Just then,  his sunglasses slide off of his eyes and onto the broadloom carpet, wide, bloodshot eyes and disorientation, all of this seems to work at Hyde's nerves.

"Huh. So you're high."

"And if I was?"

Hyde folds his arms and shrugs his shoulders back at the implication that Sakura doesn't want to be barraged about a relapse, and definitely not in their place of work. Still, the magnitude of the very vexing task of trying to help someone you love get clean, and all of that breadth being essentially flushed down the drain definitely calls for a frustrated reaction.

"Yachan."

"Yachan nothing, Hide. Leave me the fuck alone and stop prying where you don't have any business doing so. Fuck. I'm an adult, I don't need you hovering over me and monitoring my every move every ten seconds."

"You're so right." Hyde dismisses with a scoff in the undertone of his sarcasm. He braces himself for departure and wears the expression of annoyance once he fits a pair of trendy sunglasses over his eyes. The thick air of tension dismisses itself from the room once the singer has vacated.  The sound of his shoes echoing down the hallway generates anxiety in the drummer, but being completely mentally clouded as far as his judgment is concerned from sedation, he can't put a finger on why it would be problematic for Hyde to leave, nor can he recall why he left in the first place.

Moments fly by, and Sakura's somnolent mind allows for him to drift off into slumber for the next half hour, the thought of Hyde not even daring to pierce the flow of thoughts in his psyche. His arm dangles from the side, lips parched and parted, and the scene causes the nearly perpetually frantic leader to want to throw his drummer outside the window he's leaned up against. Instead, he decides against himself and shakes Sakura's arm, having decided that half an hour's rest surely will suffice, on his behalf.

"Huh?"

"Where's Hide?"

Sakura begins to bobble his head, allowing for Tetsuya to become cognizant of the fact that he's indeed under the influence. "He left."

"What do you mean?"

"He left. What do you mean, 'what do you mean?'"

Tetsuya scoffs. While he's completely aware of Sakura's obvious state of inebriation, he can't help but to resist the urge of throwing the drummer in a chokehold until he's suddenly sobered up. He can't possibly be in his right mind to allow the singer to exit the property without being in company, let alone being six months pregnant with an uneasy mindset.

Tetsuya slides a hand across his face, palm abruptly stopping just above his mouth as he allows a derided chuckle to escape his thin lips. "You're gonna stop fucking with me. Most importantly, you're going to stop fucking with Hide. Nobody's going to be blunt with you, but you know  I will." He stands back to lean on the frigid drywall, paint dusting the material of his leather jacket gently. "Simply put, you're not going to ruin this band with your addiction. You're stressing me out now, and I have a rolodex of people who can do your job on standby if needed. That's not a threat, it's a promise."

"Alright."

"I will put you out. But rather than getting my own feelings involved, I want you to think long and hard about what you're doing and how you're singlehandedly jeopardizing your relationship. You're slave to this drug, Yasunori." He swallows, eyes dead as he observes the raven haired sit up a little and fumble with an aluminum tin in his pocket. "I can see how stressed he is. It's not easy to stress him out, but somehow you've managed. You're so far gone, you're not capable of taking into consideration that you're stressing him and that baby out."

Sakura trades what would be a scoff for a simple glance at the ground, he evades Tetsuya's gaze, it's far too intimidating if he's able to feel it from where he's sitting without meeting his eyes. 

"You're not going to attest to it, you know I'm right, though. I seriously want to ask, do you want that on your conscience? Your child hasn't even made it into this world and you're already beginning to let him down. I want you to think about that." Before Sakura can cause an uproar in protest, Tetsuya turns on his heels and strolls out of the room in hopes of allowing the drummer to contemplate.

His words hit like a bullet through his chest, and he's not really sure what to make of them in this moment, considering he's coming back down from his high and is a bit hazy. He always feels so shitty once he's off his cloud nine, almost as if someone were to shove him off, allowing for him to hit the ground violently resulting in a splatter of his own flesh. He despises the cease of his highs, which inevitably results in him consuming more. Being numb is the only thing that's allowing him to stay sane with everything. Perhaps he was a touch too inconsiderate of the contrasted consideration of Hyde, who just wanted nothing but to figure out what was vexing him. And the thought of letting down his son-- maybe Tetsuya has a point, especially given that he recently acquired knowledge that fetuses can feel their mothers' emotions in the womb. He doesn't want to be the reason why his son is experiencing disappointment before he's even gotten here.

His chest is tight and heavy, and once their manager appears to let them know they're free to leave, he doesn't hesitate to jet for the parking garage. There, he's humored by the fact that Hyde took the car, which would inevitably lead to him having to take the train home. Perhaps it wasn't Hyde intention to check-mate him, but Sakura does flash a smile, regardless.

Once home, he's welcomed in by silence, nothing but the wind breaking in from the slightly opened window, and the curtains sit above the air. Its nearly five, and not even the smell of meat is infused into the air, which insinuates that Hyde is far too entrenched in stress to even fix himself anything to eat. Sakura peers at the Doraemon clock that's perched over their home phone and decides on fixing them both something to satiate themselves, hopefully doubling as a peace offering for Hyde.  Finished, he makes his way down the hallway and lets himself into the bedroom he's certain Hyde's occupying. He stops in his tracks once he sees the tableau before his eyes.

There, Hyde lays on his side, his shirt is drawn up above his distended belly, and his fingertips trace gentle patterns over the exposed skin. There is something breathtaking about the scene, albeit the melancholy overtones. From what Sakura can read from the scarlet painted nose and rosy cheeks, the vocalist was crying not too long ago, perhaps before Sakura arrived. He's whispering, but it can't be interpreted through sound, just by the gentle open and close of Hyde's swollen lips. In a way, Sakura feels he's being a bit intrusive considering Hyde's trying to relax, and more or less relax the baby too, but he can't have this feeling lingering over him for the remainder of the evening.

"Hide, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of snapped at you like that."

No reply.

"..And I.. I relapsed. Everything's just been so stressful with this adjustment period, and the fans...and..everything. And I know you worked so hard to make sure I wouldn't relapse again, but it's a vicious cycle you just wouldn't understand unless you experienced it firsthand. I'm trying my hardest to escape from the vise grip this shit has on me. But I feel like.. it's never ending. I promise, I'm going to start going to start prioritizing myself, and in the meantime, I'm so sorry for how I treated you earlier." He exhales. "..And I don't want..I don't want to disappoint flower. He's not even here, and I'm failing him already."

This tugs at Hyde's heartstrings in a way that directs his eyes to meet Sakura's at the threshold. "You're not failing him, Yachan..."

"But I am. I couldn't even stay clean for an entire month!"

"Addiction is a disease. I don't think he would hold that against you."

God. Sakura thinks. Hyde really is too good for him. It's something he's felt since they got together -- Hyde's idea, though Sakura would be a bonafide liar if he said he didn't have feelings for him, he wasn't sure if Hyde would bite if he asked him out. He always seems to see the best in him, drawing out the silver lining in even the most tenacious circumstances. He's forgiving. Too forgiving at times, and Sakura's heart clutches at the gentle resignation from the tiny singer curled up on their bed.

His feet carry him to Hyde's feet where he sits by, eyes curiously silhouetting the tiny body. Hyde's eyes are open, and they look around for a moment before landing on Sakura's. There's something about Hyde's eyes -- they're so enormous and easy to become lost in, the lost where it feels as if you're embarking on a cathartic, life-changing journey where you find yourself. Sakura finds not only himself, but peace within those globes for eyes, and when they meet his own, his breath becomes hitched, so ceaselessly impressed with how beautiful they are.

"I'm sorry." He allows his hand to press on the exposed sliver of Hyde's shirt, resting his hand over his belly. "To the both of you. It is a disease, but both of you are my driving force to overcome it. I can't be like this when he gets here.. I have to stop letting stress eat me alive and running straight for something that could kill me. My son needs his father." He quickly reaches to playfully pinch at Hyde's cheek. "And my beautiful lover needs me."

"We do need you. And we're here for you, every step of the way." He exhales. "It's terrifying to think of life without you, Yachan. I can't even imagine raising our son without you here.. and I will do everything in my power to help you stay clean for good."

"That's not your job, Hide." Sakura shakes his head, the grip of his ponytail holder falling looser by the motion. "You are what keeps me here, but you aren't responsible for my recovery. I have to do this for you two, all by myself. To prove that I can, not just for you two, but for me."

"Well, just know that I'm here." Hyde resigns, placing his own hand over Sakura's on his belly. "And everything is gonna be okay.. everything is okay."

"I'm so sorry for talking to you like that. You just want what's best for me, I get that. The last person I should be getting short with is you..." The drummer leans to place a pretty kiss to Hyde's swollen lips. "..Will you help me relax and take a shower with me?"

Hyde juts up his lips for a moment in contemplation, "Okay.. but only 'cause you asked so nicely."

Nothing but gentle moments forced upon one another in the confides of their shower. It's nothing passionate, but rather, tender moments filled with whispering to one another atop the sound of the water, words as soft and innoxious as the water that falls onto their smooth skin settling in each others' ears. Sakura drowns into the gentle motions of Hyde gliding soap onto his body with his delicate fingers, Sakura returning the favor with shampooing Hyde's auburn tresses, smoothing them back so he can thoroughly admire the beauty that he wakes up to every morning. Once the shower comes to an end, they trace shapes into the mirror of the vanity, and Sakura holds his love in his arms as they stare at one another in their reflection, soaked up into the solace and replinish the shower provided.

Once fabrics of different material are set on his body, Hyde parks himself on the comforter beside Sakura, who can't help but take notice that the steam is still emanating off Hyde's skin from the shower. His still-drying bangs flop when he turns from side to side, lotioning up his arms and thighs. Finally, he dives into his dresser and retrieves a mystery container and lifts his shirt. Of course, that catches Sakura's eye. There's a stillness in the air for a moment, Hyde can sense that Sakura's got his eyes on him, even with his back slightly turned.

"Any wares that've caught your eye, sir?"

"Oh," Sakura gives himself up, casting away any attempt to remain shrouded with his gaze. "I just wondered what that was in your hand."

Hyde blanks, then twists the cap on the container and displays the contents to Sakura. "Its cocoa butter."

"What does that do?"

Hyde tucks the ends of his bangs behind his ear, "Supposedly it prevents stretch marks. I don't want them, to be honest. Some people feel like it's a rite of passage, though."

Sakura continues his staring for a few seconds longer. Though he seems a bit exasperated with the gravely tone to his short and matter-of-fact voice, his expression reads as intrigued. The room falls quiet once again, choking Hyde with the burden of carrying out the next dialogue. His eyes fixate on Hyde's belly, admiring the gentle curve that deviates from his slim waist.

"Do you want to put it on for me?" Hyde coaxes, and he doesn't set out to, but ends up wrenching Sakura's heart with how..motherly he sounds when he puts a voice to the question.

"Um, ..n.." Sakura twists his lip, then lulls and decides against whatever fucked up intrusive thought that it could be strange for him to do so. "Actually..yeah."

The line springs to Hyde's ears and carries him to slide closer to Sakura, who relieves him the container and scoops a dollop out, then smears it over his hands. His fingers tremble for a moment, dangerously fixated on covering all bases. Hyde's trying not to suffocate Sakura with his staring, but he can't help but feel like everything is finally falling into place.

"You know.." He startles him when his precise voice flows out of his thin lips. "I don't know how pregnancy works or anything, but I think its pretty sick that you're just in there growing and becoming a little person every day."

Hyde's brows solemnly knit against one another atop his forehead, heart shred to pieces at the realization that Sakura wasn't intending on opening his mouth to speak to him, but rather, their child. He sinks back into the pillows as if the moon in the night sky, overwhelmed with the layer of rosiness that settles over the room, its warm.

"I wonder what you'll be like. I guess I can't smoke around you cause you'll come out a smoker or something, right? But I don't want you listening to Bethtoven and Hide going vegetarian while you're in there, either. Jazz tapes and grilled meat, that'll do it."

"You're just going to make him into a mini Yachan." Hyde smirks. "Not that I'm complaining."

"If he looks like you, and acts like me, he'd be pretty perfect, so we're even. Deal?"

"Deal? I can't control what he'll look like and how he'll act!"

"You could try!" Sakura gently smooths the butter over Hyde's flanks and around the bottom curvature of his belly. He's gentle--too gentle when he gets to Hyde's stomach, as if even the slightest pressure could harm his child. Plucked out of his mindless discursive chatter, he instead inspects the stretched skin. Perpetually enchanted by Hyde's taught, porcelain skin. Hands unbearably soft to touch, and the way they felt against his own asperous fingertips. Simply put, perfect, always has been. Even with the rise from his abdomen, his skin remains unscathed, no fine lines digging into his skin as a surrender from the stretch.

"I think he's going to be perfect no matter what he looks like. I mean, look at us. We're beautiful, aren't we? Everyone who knows us always say we look so lovely together."

"We do." Sakura shrugs. "You made a great choice picking me to be your boyfriend. I hope you know you're stuck like this. I don't really think there's a person more beautiful thank you."

Hyde shakes his head. He's been told he's beautiful virtually every day of his life, from the time he was small, but hearing it from Sakura seemingly feels as if he's heard it for the first time, no matter how long they've been together. "You're gonna give me butterflies, stop."

"Would that be so bad?"

"No.. I'm not complaining." The singer exhales, his eyes folding over and shutting for a moment, bathed in the love that gorges this room heavily. His head nuzzles into the pillows, and calm radiates from his body as Sakura silently continues his careful massage. For a moment, nothing is out of place or jolting, but their child does make it known that Sakura is kind of interrupting his beauty sleep, even as careful as he's being.

"Hideto.. this is blowing my mind. Like, I know he's been able to move for a while now, but.. like, that's our kid."

"Yes, he is.." Hyde smirks to himself. "Hard to fathom it, huh, Yachan? We're gonna have a kid of our very own.. and he's gonna be cooler than both of us combined."

"Yeah, and I wish he'd hurry up and come out so I can teach him how to bully you."

"He already knows. That's why I'm always up really late watching cooking shows, because he can't handle me being sleep when he's awake. He's a Sakurazawa for sure."

"That's my boy."

The rollout for the group’s new album, True, is nothing but about two months from release. Their tour, BIG CITY NIGHTS ROUND AROUND’s been over for a couple of weeks now, and since then, it's been a nonstop trip from home to studio. The time seems to be advancing at a pace where Hyde can’t keep up, and most of his free time is spent either sleeping, or working with Sakura and their assistants on the baby’s room, furniture, and other necessities. A break seems like it is only to provide itself when he has the baby, which is still two months from now. They’ve just begun their radio show, there’s a song that’s been scrapped completely that was supposed to be their single, and now they’re having to come up with a new song, record, mix and master all within this week. After that, they’ll go straight into the release and music video taping to be released ten days prior. Pre-production’s been going on since June, so most of the songs are completed, but again, one’s gotten completely scrapped. Hyde’s having to deal with the brunt of it. 

“Just pick one.” Tetsuya’s got his attitude in full-blown mode today. The impatience seems to wear at him like a nail file while he watches the couple in front of him anxiously peer through their songbooks and notepads and erase and rewrite choruses or verses.

“Uhhh..” Hyde’s owlish eyes scan through his messy notebook, littered with notes and mindless doodles from when he can’t come up with a lyric during songwriting sessions. His voice quietly names all the songs as the titles appear when he flips through the pages. “‘You Are’ — no… that’s too romantic.. ‘The Sun Between Our Shadows..’.. eh, I don’t love the chorus..”

Sakura narrows his eyes, brows knit in uncertainty. “ What about ‘flower’?” 

Hyde’s about a motion too slow to place himself into whiplash the way he snaps his neck to peer up at Sakura, dumbfounded in this suggestion. “You’re not serious.”

“What’s ‘flower’?” Ken nibbles on his thumb. “I think you need to see about your neck, Hide, that looked painful the way you just..” He mocks the way Hyde moves his neck a moment ago.

“flower’.. is about the baby.” Hyde blinks slowly, towards the rest of the group, evading what he can almost precisely predict is an eye roll from the leader, who has not shown any ounce of support for this pregnancy since it’s become closer to Hyde’s due date. He’s not very patient with him most of the time, even if they’re best friends. There seems to be a separation that wedges itself between them, and the discomfort he feels is something of an aura nowadays. He could handle it for a while, but Hyde’s gotten much larger, and he’s at the stage where he needs help getting up; sometimes walking, his cravings can be a little out of control, he cries sometimes when it’s not necessary, and all he, Sakura, and Ken seem to do is crowd around his belly and talk to the baby or share snacks around the at the vending machine at wherever studio they’re at. It’s as if the entire world is revolving around this pregnancy, and Tetsuya’s fed up. It’s distracting. 

“Okay, we can use that.” Ken shrugs. “What’s the issue with that? I mean, this album is releasing the year you’re having a baby, it’ll act as a memento for the year. That’s perfect.”

“It’s a little personal, don’t you think?” Hyde’s eyebrows furrow in inquisition. “I’m not completely averse to the idea, but.. it’s kind of a personal song.”

“You don’t have to use it. But can I take a look? Did you already write the melody and everything?”

“Yeah.” Hyde hesitantly hands his songbook over and allows Ken to read the lyrics with apprehension and anxiety feasting at his nerves. 

“My light is the facilitation for you…. even on a rainy day you’ll continue to grow … part of you is from the greatest love I’ve ever known… you derived from my flower, you are the best parts of us.. with my light I’ll help my little flower understand his own and shine brighter than we both ever could ….” Ken reads the lyrics intermittently, not all in sequential order, “Aww, you love this baby so much. I love that you’re basically calling Sakura your big flower, and calling the baby little flower.”

“Well, the baby’s nickname is ‘flower’. And it’s kind of perfect, because yeah, Sakura’s big flower, and he’s his son.”

“I think this is perfect. And the melody is really beautiful, like a lullaby.”

“It was supposed to be a lullaby, so that makes sense.”

“Well, I would say we could definitely make it a little more fast paced, but this deserves to be on the album.”

Hyde winces. Most of the time, the baby's oddly enough knocked out during rehearsals, appearances, or concerts. Maybe it's the number of times they've appeared on Hot Wave this year, including today, that's irritated his unborn child, or maybe Hyde's mind is skipping past the fact that this child is a Sakurazawa. He can't help but rebel if he's anything like his father.

It's just him and Ken for now, they're at a shoot for the upcoming tour, shooting the pictures for the pamphlet. Last night, they shot for the calendar. Hyde’s in some blazer, a heavy chain with a padlock anchored to his neck. He's been on his feet since four, it's nine now. And even with him being eight months pregnant, the stylists still insist on the platforms. So his feet are tender and ache beyond belief. He's been feeling bloated all day, he won't even so much as meet eye contact with Sakura, who for some reason, has decided to be all playful and kissy with him today. Luckily for him, he's got to wake up bright and early tomorrow and interview for some special for television. Rest is sparse in this industry, it seems. Hyde has come to believe this year has been busy on purpose, he hoped schedules would be dialed back a bit what with his pregnancy, but if anything, it has been the busiest year thus far.

He's accompanied by Ken, who plops down next to him with a candy bar prettily chilling in his left hand. He stares at Hyde clad a childish expression- Hyde's always thought Ken is so striking. Seriously so beautiful, and he seems to know it too. His obvious mutual feeling for Hyde seems to be so unspoken yet so obvious what with how he looks at him. But for now, his look is that of concern. 

"What's up? Are you doing alright?"

Hyde nods quickly, one of his hands comes to rest lazily on the front of his stomach, trying not to bring too much attention to his condition. "Yeah.. what've you got there?"

Ken blinks, not catching on for a second before his gaze meets Hyde's, which lands on the candy bar between his skinny fingers. "Oh! Just a plain chocolate bar." He holds it out to Hyde. "Want some?"

"I'm good. I don't need any more sugar." The singer's eyes land on Sakura, who tilts his chin down in attempt to pose, he's very clearly not wanting anything to do with today's schedule. But he looks so cute when he's pissed off, Hyde thinks. His thoughts are thrust away by an infant’s fiercely strong foot nudging his side. He slips another wince out. 

"Something's wrong. I hear you like, wincing or something. What's the matter?"

Hyde rolls his eyes, giving up on the confidentiality act. "It's the baby, he's just irritated, I think. I don't know why."

"Oh.." Ken's cat-like, boyish eyes peer blankly at Hyde's stomach. "Do you want me to help? I could try."

Hyde raises a manicured brow. "You really wanna do that?"

"Yeah! I mean, I'm gonna babysit him sometimes, right? It'll be practice for when he cries.” He nods with the intention of half-joking with his explanation.

Hyde hesitates just before the baby delivers another round of perfectly incremented kicks to his side. “You could definitely -ah, try..”

Ken steals one more audible bite from the bar and sets it on the stereo beside him on the end table. As if he’s some sort of pro, he snakes his limber body to face Hyde, pressing his hands to the gentle fabric of the blazer. He chuckles in a child-like manner while his eyes pan from Hyde’s midsection to his fatigued, eyelinered eyes. “Do you really have to deal with this all the time? I’d cry.”

“I do cry sometimes. But it’s fine, it’s healthy and normal."

With a cringe tasting his lips as they spread, Ken hums, hoping to quell the raging fetus. “Jeez. Do you ever sing to him or anything? That could help.”

“Usually this happens at the most inappropriate times, so I usually can’t.”

“Oh, right..” Ken studies Hyde’s pained face while he’s not looking, just in time for his baby to kick him away. “Junior, you can’t be in the band if you can’t relax, man.” 

Hyde gives a lazy smirk, comforted by Ken’s attempt to pacify the anger of his unborn child. He is forever smitten by Ken’s ability to solve any dilemma with haste, it is as if he dislikes conflict because it hangs over his head and he can’t enjoy himself with something lingering over him. His fingers land on his cheek when he tears his attention from the guitarist over to everyone around him. Frenzied and wired, the room breathes out a redolence of assiduousness. Tetsu’s just changed into yet another questionable outfit, and Sakura is having his foundation touched up, sneaking glances at the craft food service table, he must be hungry.

“Have you guys got a name for him yet?” Ken presses, having not given up on using his hands to put the baby to sleep. He slides his tongue towards the back of his gums near his molars to retreat the melted chocolate from them. 

Hyde pries himself out of his observing, “Oh, uh, yeah. But Yachan’s upset ‘cause now he wants him to have ‘Ya’ in his name. I don’t know what we’re gonna do, we decided on the name a few months ago.”

“I always liked the name Kaede.” 

Hyde takes a dazed exhale and diverts his attention away from his surroundings and back to Ken and the lovely abutting of his elegant, delicate fingers that possess the ability of creating the most perfect melodies one can have the pleasure of presenting to their ears. “I didn’t know you wanted kids, Ken-chan.”

“I don’t. I just want a daughter named Kaede. Sometimes I imagine both of us, just riding on a motorcycle and riding out to the coast. Maybe we’d eat cream soda popsicles and I’d play the guitar. I want that.”

His eyes sparkle at the scenario, he’s lost as if he’s caught in a reverie, desperate for the results to be yielded, but the hopelessness doesn’t fail to brutally remind him that there’s no one around to help him create that reality. Hyde tilts his head, perhaps this baby has gifted him some sort of paternal instinct, because normally he’d say something like, “You’ve given this a lot of thought, huh?” in jest, but in this instance, he prefers the route of allowing Ken to tug at his heartstrings, as if he feels for him, maybe he feels like he shouldn’t take being pregnant, much less having a child for granted, as there are those who cannot conceive, or can, but have no one to assist them.

“Are you dating anyone?”

“Nah.” He shrugs with his lips twisted, he doesn’t carry a defeatist tone, perhaps a bit covert. “I’m not exactly looking either, but I know that one day it’ll happen. I just always imagine a little girl that looks and acts like me, and I'll spoil her to death.”

“Aw.” Hyde grins, spreading a hand over his stomach. He often flees from the stressors of the day by taking a trip to the castle in the air, mind wandering to the little angel that for now, is insistent on tearing up his insides. But an older version, his heart gallops at the thought of raising this little boy, and if he’ll be quiet and shy, and Hyde is well aware he’ll be the first to recede those tears from even so much as touching his gentle cheeks should he cry about anything. The songs he’ll sing to him, the stories he’ll recount and sometimes embellish for the boy’s entertainment. He’s anxious to meet him nowadays. “Well, whenever I get to meet her, I’m sure Kaede will be a special girl. You’re so cute, Ken-chan.” He reaches to pinch at his friend’s cheek. 

“Yeah. I haven’t given up on it, just. When I see you like this, it reminds me of kids. ‘Cause right now, all I’m thinking of is Junior playing major league soccer or something. Jesus.”

Hyde pouts, “He’s so mad at me, and I didn’t even do anything. I hope he’s not a handful when he’s out. I wonder if it’s cause of all the loud music in here or something.”

“Ah, Junior doesn’t like George Michael? Wow, he’s nothing like you."

“Maybe he wants Yachan. Its weird, he gets really excited around him, but then he also falls asleep when he talks to him too.”

“I know the feeling.” Ken directs explicitly to Hyde’s stomach. “Your dad is everything you’d ever want in a person. The looks, the brains, the words.. he’s so smart. I get excited around him too. And then he makes me go to sleep when he gets too philosophical. Both of your parents do.”

Hyde smirks, “Our philosophical conversations are probably the reason we started dating. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has, or at least comes close to, my same philosophies."

“You’re both so annoying!” Ken twists his face. “We’ll be like, ‘I guess we missed the special sale on this cologne.’ and you’ll both say something like, ‘Ah. Perhaps it was an omnipotent being who had foreknowledge that this day would come. That temporary items that do not bear lifelong usage in the grand scheme of life matter not, as capitalism is a disease to sheeple like you .’.. like, fuck off.”

“We do not!” Hyde shoots back, voice raised in declaration. Remorse comes over him when as a result, his child decides to jam his foot in his side and doesn’t have it on his agenda to halt.

Hyde swallows back a groan, "We're not that bad.. but, I'm gonna walk around for a little while.. see if that helps.. thank you for trying though.." Hyde motions to his stomach briskly and hoists himself up with the aid of the couch arm.

"Feel better~" Ken melodically sing-talks when Hyde departs, he's gifted with a solemn, restless smile and wave from the singer before he's abandoned on the couch with his chocolate bar.

Hyde figures, if walking around cradling a baby in your arms soothes them, performing that while they're still in the womb suffices. His hands gently cradle his stomach, and occasionally he rubs gentle circles onto it while he stares around the studio. His eyes record the details that surround him-- the light fixtures, racks of clothes and stylists racing back and forth to fix Tetsuya's outfit. He catches a glance at his boyfriend, who seems to be partaking into some banter with a stylist over his vehement adamance of wearing any color that recedes outside of black. He is in awe by the very aura of the man, somehow with such a dark appearance, he glows.

His feet carry him to the palettes of makeup and blow dryers- he never gets to really pay close attention to the beauty enhancers anyway. M.A.C palettes, Conair heat tools. Shiseido foundation. The makeup artists decided on a cat-eye on him today, and he does look beautiful, Sakura notes it is imperative that Hyde knows that.

He grazes his fingers over his side, "Flower.. just an hour or so, and we'll be back home.." He drowns in misery, perhaps the sound of his heels is a noisy addition to the ensemble of annoyances to his child. Fed up with this monochromatic begging to a little being who can't comprehend a thing he's saying, he voyages back to the couch around the same time Ken's called back to set.

The faint scent of cigarettes that is heightened in perception thanks to Hyde's hormones, seeps into the crevices of his nose hairs and sends him a mental picture of who is behind him until this being appears before him.

"Here, scoot." Sakura waves his hand to Hyde's direction on the couch, as he's parked quite inconveniently in the middle. His condition renders him difficulty to get up with ease, so it's gonna take some intervening, which is why Sakura groans and jolts his hand out for Hyde's taking.

"No," He looks up with his brows knitted, nearly panting, "Not right now.." He harshly swallows. Maybe Sakura's natural state of oblivion has caused him to overlook Hyde's hands gently rubbing circles onto his stomach while occasionally twisting his lips up in what looks to be pain. The drummer scans him for any visible inklings of injury, but all he's able to see is the persistence of Hyde's lips turning up and down.

"What's wrong?" 

Hyde sets his head back on the couch cushion and takes a long, abyssed breath. "I can handle it, let me move over.." He begins to push himself to the edge of the couch to brace himself and eases himself up before he begins the journey from the couch to fetch something to quench himself with.

"You didn't have to leave..." Sakura calls out in nearly a mumble that Hyde is somehow able to perfectly interpret into coherence. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" He looks at the nearly waddling figure in front of him, now equipped with a bottle of water. 

"It's your child." Hyde settles himself back into the couch, legs spread as he takes slow, even swigs from the bottle while his eyes peer at his stomach. "He thinks now is a good time to test his strength. Ken-chan even took a shot at calming him, but he’s not listening."

Sakura would normally offer something dry and witty for comedic relief, but he can discern that Hyde is actually in bad shape. It's definitely not quiet, and the baby nearly always has a reason to be upset being that his parents are a drummer and dramatic singer, he never hears the end of noise. The uneven beat of stylists chattering at his mother, or some American singer bleating her heart out on a stereo, or the sound of high heels from at least three members and sometimes their stylists, seem to give him reason to have at least protest for some earplugs in there.

“Why don’t we take these off..” Sakura falls to his knees before he slides the platforms off of Hyde’s feet. “…and go somewhere a bit quieter. I think there’s a mezzanine down the hall we can dawdle in for a bit” His gaze is gentle when he helps Hyde up from the couch and doesn’t let go of his chubby hand when he leads him out the studio. He shoots brisk glances up and down to Hyde from second to second once in a while, making sure that he doesn’t trip over anything. 

“Here we are..” They spot a loveseat and Hyde sits himself first, insisting that he can sit down by himself for the sake of not appearing helpless. Sakura waits patiently for him to settle, then accompanies him beside, settling Hyde’s feet on his lap for comfort. “It’s a little hectic in there.”

“Yeah..” Hyde acquiesces with widened eyes and a hand sliding itself over his stomach. “I needed to get out of there for a bit. I was afraid I was going to lose it..”

“They’ve really been working you all day.. I’m sure you’re worn out.”

“I am.. and nauseous.. and then this one's beating me up for whatever reason.” Hyde’s tone is etched with lethargy,  today has quickly worked to aggrieve his otherwise chill disposition. 

“Oh yeah..” As if a lightbulb appears over the drummer’s head, reminding him of why their whereabouts migrated in the first place. He tramples over what to do next mentally at first, but starts with moving closer to Hyde’s vicinity and resting his hand over his. “And what are you so upset for? You’re not the one with cameras being flashed in your face..” He laments to his unborn child with a sly grin in Hyde’s defense.

“I don’t feel good, you should be easy on me..” Hyde cradles his stomach with his gentle voice blanketing over. “You’ve been at this for half an hour, aren’t you tired?”

Sakura places his head on the swell of Hyde’s stomach, lips pressed to the gentle skin that’s sits unabashedly exposed. “Do I always have to step in and relax you, flower? You can’t just be nice to my Hide?” 

“I can’t say I blame him.. I prefer my solace to be delivered by you too. "

"You should be nice to him, you know.. he's nice enough to carry you around all day, feed you stuff he hates normally.. you can't get upset like this when you're out. For someone he calls angel, you're not being very nice.."

Hyde's frown decomposes into a green laugh. "You're actually coming to my defense this time, huh? Usually you get giddy and say you two are gonna gang up on me when he's older." He tangles his hand into Sakura's coarse, gentle smelling tresses. His eyes trace the gentleness of the strands, and the single grey hair that sits out among the others, daring to stand out.

"I just realize he does this a lot, it must be pretty annoying."

"Mmmm, sometimes. But, I don't think he's ever been this upset." The singer confesses above a whisper that trails off at the last adjective. The silence blankets above them for a moment before Hyde begins to hum. Sakura's coarse, calloused fingers smooth over the stretched skin in a smooth, soothing motion, his eyebrows flip upward a few times when the baby gets his last strong kicks in before the amalgamation of Hyde's humming and Sakura's gentle gestures lull him into slumber.

Once peace is restored, Hyde's sleepy, downturned eyes fall onto Sakura's, who rests still near his distended stomach, a grateful expression juts itself from his delicate features. An expression that insists that he can't do any of this without Sakura, and the indebtedness he hitches up from him is infinite.

"Yachan."

"Hmm?"

"You ever get scared?" 

The couple lay starfished, strewn across their couch as they focus their attention nearly undividedly on the television before them. A wool blanket caresses their hips and legs as they tangle together beneath it. Sakura's hand gingerly decides to rub at Hyde's stomach, occasionally his heart leaps when he reminds himself that Hyde is carrying their baby. This is all surreal to him still.

"Of what? I suppose life is unexpected, but that doesn't call cause to live life in fear, I don't think."

The forever philosophical Sakura, in any moment ready to jump to something far more abstruse than imaginable. Hyde blinks slowly, his innocent gaze locks on the actress clad in white crossing and uncrossing her legs on the screen before he settles even closer to the man spooning him. 

"No, I mean... you're right, I just meant.. about you know, being a parent."

"Hmm," The drummer hums, allowing his free hand that's supporting his head to lock his fingers in his own raven tresses. He's sure-- he longs to see his child, he's mused for hundreds upon hundreds of days about how this precious gift will appear, and how he'll be, what will he like, what will he condemn and will his values align with his own? Seldom during this pregnancy has Sakura ceased in his pondering-- whether it be all while thrashing his drums, or during appearances, filming - this little gift has occupied his mind ceaselessly, truly.

He's shared his musings with Hyde, who partially has been preoccupied with the burden and restlessness this pregnancy has caused him, but has found that simply thinking about the baby has helped him take up solace. Hyde's qualms have more so been centered around the child's experience. Almost as if Hyde's own childhood is acting as a preface to his child's-- he's troubled about his son being teased, or his privacy being encroached upon given the status of his parents, will he be mocked for his looks if he turns out to appear feminine like Hyde, or if he will be a social outcast and long for a slower paced life unlike the one he'd be living with parents like his? It seems as if his qualms are more on par with doubt, though he has found himself grinning like an idiot when the thoughts about how his child's appearance pay a visit into his psyche. Sakura is just giddy. 

"Less nervous, probably just..considering letting the chips fall where they may. I'm tired of all the unsolicited advice we get, though. I mean, we're almost thirty."

Hyde remains silent, not offering a single sigh or breath let out to fill the silence between their dialogue.

"..Why? Are you?"

Seems like such an idiotic question. Hyde is at the peak of his career and made the very conscious decision to keep his baby and not hide the pregnancy either. It's very likely they'll have to move elsewhere to raise the child, in addition will have to pull out privacy orders against paparazzi to combat their child being photographed.

“I don’t think its that I’m nervous, more like, I’m unsure if I’ll be able to provide him everything he needs, especially given I’ll be working for his entire upbringing. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll even be present enough for him.” Hyde’s teeth pierce his bottom lip in apprehension, all he’s ever contemplating nowadays is how his child will turn out. Children have seldom been beings that have stood out in his mind, up until now, at least. When he’s out nowadays, children seem to catch his eye, he studies them as he’s in the thick of his piqued interest about their behaviors, and what intrigues and loathes them. Perhaps it isn’t fair to generalize behaviors— he finds just as with adults, children are a variety of personalities, on every notch of the spectrum. Still, besides the personality aspect, his absence bears heavy on his mind, he wonders if his child will resent him for being so busy.

Sakura’s throat permits for a small “hmm” to escape. “I don’t know if it’s really necessary to think about that now. I mean, you have no idea what the future will hold. For all you know, I could be the busiest one between the both of us. I just don’t want you worked up over a bridge we haven’t crossed yet. He’s not even here.”

“Just worried sometimes.” Hyde sucks some air in, “I don’t want him to have any reason to resent me. I want to be present for him.. you know, I don’t want him to think that I chose my career over him.”

“I think you’re thinking too far into the future. Just let everything fall into place."

Tonight, the guys are recording one of their radio episodes of “Bonjour L’Arc en Ciel.” They’ll be hosting this until next year, so they have to come up with entertaining enough topics for their dedicated listeners. If they fail to do so, they’ll usually propose one of their staff to come up with something, or they’ll make something up on the fly. The last few episodes have been about their random escapades from the summer, or advice. Sometimes fans will write in and ask them about rumors they’ve heard.

“Tomoko-chan from Suita wants to know if Ken-chan’s real name is Kenichi.” Tetsuya reads out from the busily decorated card unenthusiastically. He’s pissed enough his lap was met with just around a ton of glitter upon opening. He'd wondered what’s wrong with an envelope being filled with nothing but the letter itself.

“My real name is whatever you want it to be. Ken is actually short for Katherine, though.” Ken sits up with his hands on the armrest. He grins cheekily for a moment, hoping that one of the three will indulge in laughter, but they’re far too occupied with their own random piles of fan mail. Defeated, he decides on ripping one open himself, abstained out of rebellion.

“This is from Rie-chan from Hamamatsu. She says, ‘Recently, I see Haido-chan on television and I think to myself, 'I wonder how he’s doing with all of this?'. I’m sorry if it’s intrusive, but you never seem to talk about being pregnant, so I just wonder how it’s going. Congrats to you too, Sakura-chan~ I wish you guys a really healthy baby.’..” By now, anything could shock the silence in the room, considering what’s been said is some food for thought, at least for the expectant couple across from him. 

“Ah.” Hyde’s a bit blank after being handed the letter to read for himself. She’s right, he can’t recall a single interview where he’s talked about it, but that’s just due to Tetsuya feeling that it’s not relevant to the music and a bit out of bounds to begin with. At first, Hyde acquiesced to the idea of pretending almost that his pregnancy didn’t exist. Other than that, all that that’s been done that’s alluded to the pregnancy was when they shot for GiGS a few months ago, Hyde had pulled his jacket from himself, revealing his baby bump, and the others made cute expressions in “shock”, but even the article was about music and the summertime. Perhaps it was consideration for the fans, if he didn’t bring any attention to it, they’d feel more comfortable with what’s going on. Forever deeply compassionate, even when it’s his own experience. “Rie-chan, thank you for your well wishes and your concern..”

“Un.” Sakura musters, nearly annoyed in his tone as it feels like it’s compulsory. Again, this is all a risk he’s willing to take for his boyfriend’s sake, anyway. It’s not like he’s apologetic for not coming out the gate informing everyone about everything he’s read in these pregnancy and baby books he reads when Hyde’s not around.

“Well.. do you guys wanna talk about it?” Tetsuya’s alert eyes vehemently search for hesitance.

“I think it’s really obvious, anyway…”

“I guess so..” 

“So, how are things with the pregnancy then? Things have been busy lately.."

“At first, I could handle it this summer when we were on tour a lot. But now, I’m bigger and I get exhausted. Nowadays, my breathing isn’t that great, so singing and standing on my feet can also be a task.” Hyde’s confides and a hand sets over his stomach, leaving the squishy toy he was fiddling with unattended. “And I always have to wear heels for some reason."

“You guys haven’t really wanted to talk about it until recently, right?"

The couple exchange an unsure glance, neither affirmed of who should say something. They end up shrugging.

“It’s really just that this is such a coveted experience, I think. I’m showing, I mean obviously, I’m seven months now. But even so, this experience is really personal for us, so. Our aim isn’t to hide what’s going on, just that it’s maybe not everyone’s business.. even if it’s obvious..you know, visually. Sounds like a contradiction, but the point can't be lost.”

Sakura gives another shrug, bending his neck to the side in contemplation of his own explanation. “I don’t know what’s going on in his body unless he tells me. So, even if I’m willing to talk about it, it seems redundant to be like, 'I’m learning that diapers are expensive'.. or, 'This is what I learned in this book'.. all of those things are off of observation and learning, and not firsthand experience. It’s not like I can say anything interesting. They just want me to say I’m petrified of being a father."

“Are you..?” Tetsuya teases with his gaze perfectly aligned to the raven-haired’s across from him.

He slips his hand through his hair with a thick eyebrow raised, failing to bite at the bait Tetsuya fishes out. “I mean, not exactly. There’s no point in fear. Whatever happens is beyond your control ninety-nine percent of the time. If I mess up, that’s fine, I’ll work to improve and learn along the way.”

“I don’t think either of us are scared, more that we’re focusing on getting prepared, you know? My aunt wrote us a list of all the newest products that we would need. Stuff like that, other than that, there’s no cause for worry.” Hyde comforts his words with the company of a nod.

“I know you guys are really excited to see the baby though, right?” Ken’s nearly shaking with glee when he looks between the couple. Sakura fetches him a strange look at first, then it develops into a smirk. Nowadays, Ken seems more enthusiastic about the baby than the both of them. 

“Well, sure.” Sakura leans back into the polyester of the chair, “You’re more excited than Hide's mom, though, probably.”

“Oh yeah,“ Hyde stretches a grin to his plumped lips, “If there’s anyone eager for the baby, its definitely you, Katherine-chan.” Hyde directs to the tallest of the group, who resembles a confused boy, his mouth slightly open as he points to himself. 

“Me? Buying your baby stuff and bugging you to to be the godfather? Never!” Ken places a hand to his chest to further his act as pretending to be accused, then relaxes back. “Do you still eat cake like crazy? Because I don’t know if we’ve ever talked about it, but Haido actually will eat an entire cake by himself. Or if there’s fondue, he’ll hog the station and tell everyone that he’s feeding another person.”

He’s rewarded a green chuckle from the others, vividly recalling the summer tour when Hyde began to show, all he would do was eat cake and hog food backstage. It was at that time that he started picking off everyone’s plates without giving it a thought, and would point to his stomach if anyone complained.

“Nowadays its chocolate that’s the culprit.” Hyde confides. “I think we both got tired of the texture of cake, now we want something creamier. Mousse cake worked for a few days, now its just straight up chocolate bars.”

“And its so annoying.” Sakura points out, “We have chocolate bars in the kitchen cabinet right, but he’ll wake me up, literally slap me out of my sleep and tell me to go get it.”

Ken helps himself to a gummy laugh, “Why don’t you just get it yourself?”

“I shouldn’t have to!” Hyde argues, “He’s not the one pregnant, the least he could do is just go get it for me.”

“That’s true, though.” Ken retorts, fickly playing devil's advocate . He tucks his head on his hand and watches the couple humorously arguing casted under a whisper, between each other. Usually, they’re the ones taking over the show, opening it up with quick banter and entertaining vignettes of what’s happened during this week. Parties they’ve attended, stuff like that. Somehow reeling them in to talk about Hyde’s pregnancy has resulted in them being a bit flustered. Something that has Tetsu sitting back and observing while gulping down lemon tea, and Ken with his giant head on his hand.

“Nobody can see this, but Sakura and Haido are arguing over the reason why either of them should or shouldn’t fetch the chocolate. By the way, do you guys mindlessly bicker all the time like this? Can’t be good for the baby.” Ken jokes.

“Yes. We argue a lot, but we’re playing, of course. Most of the time, at least while we’re on the topic of the baby, recently, we argue about what we think he’ll look like and who he’ll take after.”

“And?”

“I think he’ll look just like Hide and act just like me. That’s how it should be, anyway.”

“But then I don’t understand why he doesn’t want him to look like both of us and act however he pleases.”

“The poor kid’s gonna be the most philosophical, thick-haired, big-eyed, chain-smoking, metal-listening kid out there.”

“Why don’t you want your baby to look like you?” Tetsuya investigates with a prying twist of his eyebrows. 

“It’s because he thinks I’m pretty.” Hyde discloses on the drummer’s behalf. “He’s in love with my eyes. So he’s always telling the baby that he needs to come out with my eyes, or he can’t come out.”

“Ew, what a weird thing to say!"

"You know what I mean! Everyone loves his eyes, and I'm.. well, I dunno. I'm handsome, but I'd rather him be praised for being adorable than look like his old man." Sakura's endlessly stern expression melts into a saccharine, boyish leer.

Hyde raises a brow, mouth slightly open to shoot Sakura a glance that reads 'that's so stupid'.

Ken clears his throat, pinning his hopes on dissipating the awkwardness that sits in the air a bit suffocatingly. "Well," He pauses on a comma. "I think however the kid comes out, he's gonna be totally the coolest little booger ever. Cooler than all of us. And you know why?" He widens his eyes and meets the gaze of each member as if to egg them on to respond.

"Why?" Sakura bites with a laugh.

"Because he'll be under the influence of none other than...me!"

"From the top!"

Stressful is almost putting it lightly. The group nearly have whiplash the way they've been hauled from one video shoot, to the next, to a magazine shoot, to company parties, to recordings, to meetings, as not even a nap can squeeze itself into the mess of their jam-packed schedules. It's album season, tour starting within weeks. Last week they shot for "flower"s music video, yesterday was "Lies and Truth"'s video shoot, and the single release for "flower" is next week.

Hyde's barely been afforded time to sleep, it's a miracle that he manages to shave every day. He's maxed out beyond belief, flipping the side-eye and an occasional sidekick of a death glare at their manager and tour director who sit comfortably in their chairs all while he stands heavily on sore feet, belting out song after song until his throat's raw, in preparation for the tour.

"I want to sway with your smile forever, flowering as strong as the sun. My heart hurts, it hurts, because it's about to break." Hyde flawlessly carols, the only pacification to his mental state fraying is his hands slipping up and down his stomach with his eyes closed, trying to grasp any semblance of calm and retreat from his utter exhaustion. His voice fails to tell on himself, he's up on every note against the mic tickling his lips, though it feels at the next moment, he'll finally waver, but he fixates on mentally picturing the notes floating above his being. He loses himself in the reverie of the song, the fact that it's about his unborn child, the child that moves gently beneath his touch as if he's completely aware that the subject of it is in fact him. His quickening serves as a gentle distraction from the ever-prevalent, yet intermittent heartburn that seems to creep up on Hyde, who tries to imagine it isn't a heart attack from his exhaustion.

He clears his throat just before the next bar, releasing a hand to run over his chest in hopes of quelling the discomfort. His eyes swim over to Ken, who seems so invested in his guitar, he might just propose to it after this rehearsal. Anything to distract the singer from the sensation that bubbles up into his chest uncomfortably. He's used to it, way too used to it, having to contend with the effects of pregnancy while he signs pamphlets or has some spitting, sweating, power-hungry executive explain something to him in a corridor, words escaping his mouth so fast, he isn't sure if he's flirting with him or reprimanding him, leaving him to laugh uncomfortably and excuse himself for anywhere to seek asylum. Heartburn's the worst, something that his aunts have sworn is the cause for babies born with full heads of hair, but he figures it's just a way of comforting him, to quell his likely fear that his son will come out with a bald head and wrinkly skin, much to most people's dismay. And maybe that's superficial, but--

Then it happens. It cracks. Noticeably.

Tetsuya blinks blankly, his pick slipping from one hand to another, "You okay?"

"Honestly? No, I need to sit for a while.."

"Somethin' happen?" Their manager looks up with a push to his glasses up his narrow nose bridge.

"Hearburn.." Hyde waves a hand off, "I just need to sit for a second and drink some water."

"Oh, okay. Take as much time as you need." He turns back to the tour director as if his conversation never faced interruption, allowing for the members to figure this out on their own with a grunt.

Sakura slides from behind his drum set and slaps his bare feet on the linoleum over to Hyde, who massages his chest with a water bottle clutched in his arm. "Hey," He gives a rub to Hyde's forearm, "You good?"

"Heartburn." Hyde confesses, retrieving the water bottle in his arm to take a swig. "I think it's that, and I'm exhausted out of my mind. Think I got like, four hours of sleep this morning."

"Four hours? I swear you were out like a light. Pretty sure there was a hand almost in my mouth, that's how crazy you were sleeping." The taller takes Hyde's arm and guides him across the room to sit him in a chaise lounge. "Were you up late?"

"Yeah, I was finishing up the merchandise sketches, then I had to pee all night, it was almost as if every time I went, I filled right back up. It wasn't until around three before I could finally lay down peacefully."

"I know you're wishing you could've taken that hiatus now, huh?"

Hyde peeks at the drummer from beneath his eyelashes with a menacing glare, earning a chuckle from the younger.

"Yo," Ken peeks his head in from behind a curtain, "Everything peachy?"

"Just tired." Hyde positions himself above a few pillows with a yawn, "That, and I have really bad heartburn. Don't worry about me, I'm just going to rest for a bit."

"You don't need anything? I can run down the hall and grab some snacks or something carbonated for you, I know that sucks."

"Thanks, but nothing really helps. Not even antacids. I'm just gonna try to relax for a bit and we can restart rehearsal in a bit."

Ken nods, splitting his attention to Sakura to tease him with throwing him into a wrestling position from behind his neck, grunting when Sakura catches him and forces his weight onto him, enticing him to cry uncle, and they finally settle down and pass time by flipping through magazines mindlessly for the next fifteen minutes, ogling some Brazilian model that flaunts a mint-colored g-string with a provocative expression on her face. They read as caught when the curtain abruptly slips open.

"What's going on? What the hell is taking so long?" Tetsuya narrows his eyes at Hyde with a tilt to his head. "Don't you think it's been long enough, what do you need, an interlude?"

"Wait a minute. Why are you talking to him like that? What's the fucking rush, we have another two months before the tour. You can relax and back off." Sakura defends with a perfect delivery of monotone stitched into every sentence against his disease.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm supposed to stop rehearsals for an hour so he can take a siesta? Do you not notice that I too have designer bags under my eyes?"

"Nobody gives a fuck, I don't think."

"Oh, look. His guard dogs coming to the rescue, right on time. I don't think a grown man needs two other people to speak on his behalf. He could've gotten his nap on the way over here. I don't mind fifteen minutes or so, but the managers start jumping in my ass when the ball isn't rolling."

"Tetsuya." Hyde gapes up at the leader, "I'm pregnant. This isn't a competition for exhaustion. We're all tired, I get that. But, have a little compassion and understanding for the fact that I'm carrying another human being inside of me. I'm sickly and weak, I have to take it easy, and I've been overworking myself. Try thinking about someone besides yourself."

"You know what?" Tetsuya scoffs, "You're right, Hide. I'm being a dick. Except, I'm not. You get to frolic around here, sucking up all the compliments and belly rubs, and congratulations, holding not only me, but us all back with your slow gait and your relentless desire for attention. Showing up late for meetings when all I ask you to do is sit. Nobody asks you to do shit, you don't have a tight ship to run. All you have to do is show up and be pretty. And you're exhausted from rest?"

"You don't know what he goes through, you've never been pregnant, you sound cruel, like an ass, even." Ken defends with a squeeze to Hyde's shoulders from behind the leather chaise. "And he's the singer, Tetsu. It's not like he can just 'show up and be pretty'. We're nothing without him, cut the pettiness out."

"I didn't think I was holding anyone up.. I thought it was you who wanted me to continue promoting and going about business as usual through my pregnancy, I didn't ask to push myself beyond my limit, you did."

"And the thing is, you don't even have a tight ship to run." Sakura gags, "You're not a manager, quit posturing yourself like your leader role actually means shit. Yeah, the first few years, you were grinding and running a tight ship. We've been long away from that. You're just being controlling, you've never been reprimanded by the managers, they fucking understand he's seven months pregnant and exhausted from doing his job like shit's normal when it's not."

"If you have some sort of animosity built up or something, we can talk about it, but not being understanding is putting more of a damper on us than me taking fifteen minutes to close my eyes so as to not collapse and actually create a situation." Hyde blinks habitually, his face wearing a thin coating of disbelief.

"Yes, Hide, I do have some animosity built up. I have shit to do. I have a life outside this band. I still take full ownership when shit goes left. I was the one who was told that this pregnancy was a big deal because we're not just a typical band. I'm the one who has to deal with a manchild, a recovering drug addict, and a pregnant frontman and make it look like we've been dipped in gold without a single tarnish."

"And I'm not doing anything? And I'm just 'sitting and being pretty'? Is that what you truly think, Tetchan? When it's me and Ken penning lyrics and arranging songs, staying up late and revising and removing over and over? Am I not going from a doctor's appointment straight to the studio? Am I not staying up at fuckall hours of the night with Yachan for our radio show, even though I'm supposed to be sleep? What about the public scrutiny I faced? Yachan faced? What about the fact that without me pretending like my entire body isn't housing another person and I'm not being sucked dry of my energy, this band wouldn't even be moving? You need me, won't admit it, but won't even extend enough decency to let me close my eyes for fifteen fucking minutes."

"It's not about the fifteen minutes! It's about the fact that I am constantly bending, and bending, and bending beyond my comfort for the sake of yours! You don't give a single fuck about how this has affected all of us! You don't realize how little shit like this adds up. How it makes us look sloppy. We're supposed to keep shit tight even with this situation, make it look easy. Make it look effortless. This week it's this, last week it was your 'hormones acting up'. I mean, fuck. I have a heart, but deal with shit before you clock in."

"So why the hell did you push me to continue promoting if you were just going to complain about the fallout?" Hyde reaches for his water bottle, "You knew. And you're choosing to be cruel because you hate when the attention is on someone else, even just for a second."

"No. I hate the fact that you're slowing my band down, pregnant with a drug addict's child, making everything my problem when you should've just kept your legs closed and used caution. You're a celebrity, Hide. Try employing some forethought before making decisions that look like mistakes to the people around you. It's not just me, people talk." He bites a chunk out of Hyde's identity and spits it out before swinging his heels to guide him back into the room to pluck at his bass and rehearse on his own against the chattering of their managers.

Hyde's countenance fills with somber, eyes retreating to his hands in his lap. Confrontation is by no means something he ever evades, but he's not in the mood today to put up a fight, and he's far too exhausted to feed his own ego and throw his own words of truth in Tetsuya's face for the sake of defense.

"Wow, fuck him. To say some shit like that is fucking insane." Ken's eyes drop to Hyde, who looks to be becoming frustrated at what just transpired with tell-tale signs, his face reddening and his eyes filling with tears of disappointment.

"He's lost it." Hyde admits with a hitched breath, "I mean, why does he act like such a child lately?"

"Don't let it get to you, he was trying to get under your skin. You know him, he's your best friend. He'll grasp at any straw to make someone upset, it's just because he is."

"I don't get it. I guess I always imagined him being supportive and being there for me through all of this, but--"

"You know better than that. You know he's in no way ever shown you evidence that'd be the case. He's only had a crush on you, him acting out like this is because of that, be assured. He's resentful of you, but not because you've ruined his band by starting a family, but because of his own self-important reasons. Fuck him and fuck that."

"Just the fact that he would say I'm ruining this band because I chose to have a baby is outrageous. You can't win with Tetsuya. If I had taken a hiatus, he would've been pissed, and the fact that I'm here, but trying to take it slow and easy, he's still pissed."

"Catch 22."

"Don't let him get you down. He's an asshole! Let him be an asshole on his own time. Misery loves company, don't give him the satisfaction that he hurt your feelings."

"I just can't get with this animosity. If I add anything else to my plate, I'll drop it." Hyde buries himself deeper into the couch cushions. "I haven't gotten decent rest in days. I'm sure if my doctor knew how little rest I've gotten, she'd kill me."

"Want me to see about cutting rehearsal for today?" Sakura pauses on a firm press to his lips. "Y'know what, I'm on it. Not even gonna give it a thought. We need to get you home."

Sakura makes his exit on the last vowel and Ken replaces his position in front of the singer, a hand lending itself to a stray hair that falls from his sunglasses combing through the rest of his hair. "Hey...you gonna be okay?"

Hyde shrugs, his swollen lips puckered against the cushion and his hands supporting his head beneath, "I hope so."

"You're gonna be okay."

"I fucking hate Tetsuya sometimes. So hard to label him my best friend nowadays. I feel like the sweet potato man by my place is more deserving of that label than him. He at least gives me an extra sweet potato sometimes when he can tell I'm stressed."

Ken exhales, "I don't agree with the way he's been treating you. But, understand that it reflects more on him and less on you. He's grappling with his own emotions and quite frankly, delusions.. he's acting out, we see that. He'll come to his senses and man up eventually."

"Sure about that?"

"...Eh, not really."

Hyde chuckles. "Ah, well. I wish I had it in me to argue him down and show him how pathetic he's being, but I can't. I have a date with the sandman and he's been knocking at my door for like a week straight. Poor guy deserves at least a night with me."

"Oooh," Ken wiggles his brows, gifting a few squeezes to Hyde's arm as he hoists himself up on his frail legs. "I'll let you two get to business, then. I'm probably gonna jet off, I'm sure rehearsal's axed with Yachan's convincing.... I'll give you a call later to check up on you?"

"Mhm.. thanks, Ken-chan."

"Anything for you, angel."

"Hydee, look this way.."

Lately, Sakura's been assuming the role of personal paparazzi. He can't help it-- he knows for a fact that this is a once in a lifetime experience for them both, being that it would be a cold day in hell before Hyde pops out another baby. So, to document it all, Sakura took a trip to the department store and purchased a sparkly, brand-spanking-new VHS camera in the highest definition he could find.

At first, Hyde refused. Not because he's shy, but because the thought merely repulsed him. But the progression of him slowly go from shoving the camera to shyly coming around, allowing Sakura to play cameraman for once has been nonetheless adorable to witness. Sometimes he'll say cheesy things, like zoom in on Hyde's face and groan about how he's "never been this beautiful", or how he knows his "son is a Sakurazawa, because he's radiating beauty from the inside out already.", something along those lines. Though, this is unquestionably going to be kept confidential between the three of them, Sakura wouldn’t be caught dead permitting others to witness such mushiness.

Today marks the last month before their baby's imminent and highly anticipated arrival, and they've been invited to Sakura's parents' residence for dinner, and it just makes Hyde's skin crawl at the utter thought. 

He's not had the pleasure of meeting Sakura's parents before, and neither of them formally announced the pregnancy to them, so he might be in for a bit of confrontation that he's not sure he's prepared for. The audacity of him showing up eight months pregnant, in the near end of his pregnancy, is a little bold for his taste, even. 

The drummer's horrible timing means that instead of putting the camera away and comforting, he's got it pointed at the small figure, with a doofus-like smile spread onto his thin lips.

"No." Hyde quietly refuses, his hands mildly shaking in apprehension as he tries to unearth something suitable and.. somewhat sophisticated to place on his figure. He’s not sure what to expect, are they of the bourgeoisie, or the upper crust? Hyde’s a young rocker, not an heir, and his wardrobe screams that. The drummer insisted that he should wear whatever, 'cause his parents "wouldn't care", but if anything, he's intimidated, so he kind of needs to wear something that'll give the parents peace in mind about their son being with this mysterious man and raising a child with him very shortly, much like Sakura when he met Hyde’s parents months ago.

He sighs and plucks out a black, form-fitting top that his mother had gifted him a few years back, it's a bit too large, not to mention dressy and formal--that's why he's never really worn it. But today’s event calls for the perfect occasion to pull this puppy out and impress these swank parents of his boyfriend's. Meanwhile, Sakura's got on some black college sweater and tight jeans, both items from the secondhand store, and some black boots. It's on brand for him to be blasé even about his outfit choices, but it's irking Hyde that he's so nonchalant when they're supposed to complement each other, at least for today.

"Come on.. say something, this is a monumental day, you know..a month away.." He reminds, panning the camera to Hyde's vast mass of a stomach after he turns around to ask for his opinion, embarrassing him a little. The singer instead narrows his eyes and hides his belly with the shirt, then ambles off to the bathroom to fix himself up and seek shelter from the idiot and his recording machine.

Sakura realizes he might be being just a tad bit discourteous of Hyde's concerns and emotions, and as a result, decides on tucking the camera away for a few minutes, then plugs it in the wall to charge. He peeks his head in the door, watching the heavenly Hyde tuck his hair behind his ears, the shirt he's got on is perfectly gloving his body. He's dangerously gorgeous, yet effortlessly soft as he primps in the mirror. He looks over for a second to catch the taller guy staring at him as if he's some delicate piece of art that he knows he'll never be able to obtain and brag about possessing. But he is his, all his, but the way he's taken aback when the little man looks at him, it feels as if he's falling for him for the first time all over again.

"How do I look?" Hyde licks his lips, his round eyes settling over his reflection again in doubt. "I think I should've gotten that trim, my hair's gotten a little too long. I was gonna do it before the next concert, but-"

Sakura shakes his head. Like, if he shakes with any more vigor, he's going to, without a doubt, give himself whiplash. It's just that, he couldn't be more in love. His eyes trace the contours of Hyde's body briefly in awe. If Hyde's face weren't enough, it's absolutely a sight for sore eyes-- at least for him, to see their child so proudly on display, Hyde's midsection wrapped up tightly in his shirt, cradled. He's so radiant, it's like an angel has appeared before him baring a little gift.

"No.." Sakura interrupts. “Stop it. You’re perfect..." He grips the doorway until he can muster up enough courage to come drop a kiss to the petite's plump lips. Their lips chase each other for a few seconds before Hyde decides to drown in anguish again. Only this time, Sakura isn't having it.

"I don't think you've ever looked this effortlessly beautiful. That's what you are, but. You're the spitting image of an angel or something, so shut up.." He chuckles a bit, and Hyde is reminded of just how radiant he is when he laughs. "I don't even wanna touch you, I feel like I'll mess something up."

Hyde wants to melt into a puddle. He hasn't even done anything but slicked his hair behind his ears and put on a shirt, and Sakura is seeing to it to make him feel like he's the grand prize. 

"That's sweet.." He looks up, then reaches to possess the raven-haired's tender and frigid hand into his tepid and sweaty one. "You tell me not be nervous, but the way you described your parents is kind of intimidating.." His voice is soft, a clear indicator of apprehension, but Sakura just wraps his arms around him as closely as they both can manage, with Hyde looking up at Sakura for some sort of reply, but he's just basking in Hyde’s faint, sweet aroma and splendor of natural beauty. 

"Yachan." Hyde groans. "Please be serious for one second. Just tell me that I'm being totally delusional. I don’t want to get all the way there and your mother tells me I’m not enough for you."

"Oh, stop being so fucking dramatic!" Sakura scoffs, raising his arms from Hyde's little body, then holds him from his forearms, his eyes scanning over his elegant features once more as if blinking would cause Hyde to disappear into the void. "If anything, they're going to be nothing short of infatuated with you. I don't get all these nerves.. I mean, my parents are cool." Hyde's hormones are clearly getting the best of him, and he's persistently going to maintain his tantrum if Sakura fails to probate his bitching and pouting soon. 

Hyde deadpans, his thick lips parting as he glares a little at the taller figure with his head tilted to the side; hair falling with ease--it appears to be silky. "You told your parents about me last year, and this year they found out about the baby from the news, Yacchan." He places a hand on his back, a jaded look plastered on as he nearly stares through him.

"I should be more upset about your parents, your dad wanted to end me when he found out about this.." He sighs, noting that Hyde's getting worked up, so he just needs to dive into the role of supportive boyfriend and just help quell his nerves. He guesses it won't kill him if he validates his heightened emotions and qualms.

"Okay, look." He starts up again, "My parents are really looking forward to seeing you. My mom made cake. She never makes cake! I don't think she's made a pastry since I was probably ten. My dad asks me about you all the time, and they've been begging me to bring you over. However I told them the news— or some reporter did, they know, and they're over the moon." He respires and extends his arms out to pat the singer on his narrow shoulders, "Sooo, just relax, don't work yourself up for nothing, 'kay?" He leans down and presses a gentle peck to his lips as an attempt to seal his statement. Maybe he'll get the picture and shut up this time. "Let's get going, I'm starving."

Hyde supposes he'll suffice the little pep talk, even if it was a bit weak, he does feel better so long that he's informed that the Sakurazawas have been itching to see him, and he's not going to allow intrusive thoughts to get the best of him, and it's likely these people are going to be apart of his life forever now. 

As if the idea itself isn't intimidating enough, Hyde's anxiety grows astronomically upon arrival to the enormous, chateau-style mansion in a gated community. The fact that Sakura has to put in a code just to get in the driveway is overwhelming. The singer just prays that his nerves aren't completely shot by the time he reaches the doorstep.

Sakura parks (sloppily) and places a hand on the console while staring kindly into those globes for eyes that Hyde has. He exhales deeply, painfully aware of the apprehension. The air is so thick, he can poke a hole in it, so he knows Hyde's internally losing his head, especially with how externally, his hands are tremoring. 

"I've got you. Alright? I know they'll be just as in love as I am." He gently places a hand on Hyde's stomach, "And they're so eager about meeting their first grandchild too, I think we need to be more nervous about him being smothered with affection." He assures, and Hyde eventually relaxes with that in mind, nodding a little, then looks up and meets those sharp and deep eyes that he gets lost in once more. "We'll leave if that one percent chance they act up comes into fruition.." He promises with a weak and childish pinky promise, then opens the door and makes his way to the doorstep, Hyde in tow as he hesitantly takes his hand.

Instead of using the doorbell. Sakura barbarically raps on the door, prompting Hyde to smack him in the arm lightly and mumble something about being a little more considerate. Sakura knows Hyde's only being fussy out of embarrassment, so he resorts to paying him no mind.

A strikingly gorgeous woman opens the door with an annoyed look plastered on her sculpted face. pearls strewn on her neck and her lips painted richly with a decadent, coral lipstick. She reaches to flick her son's forehead. "Yasunori, you know better than to knock on my door like that! You're the reason I even got the doorbell! And you’re late!" She composes herself, then looks over at the usually intimidating, but now shrunken, little man next to her son, and releases a giddy squeal.

"Oh my goodness! It's you, the famous Haido! Oh, come here!" She trots over as quickly as her designer heels will allow, they click with each step she takes, her pearls jumping from her neck with each bouncy step. Hyde's overwhelmed with her caress, and she smells quite strong, but nonetheless, lovely. She gently rests her hands on his cheeks, staring at him like he's some sort of national treasure, studying his features rapidly. "Ah, my son really did strike the mother lode with you, hm?" 

Hyde giggles gingerly, both out of shock and out of fondness. Sakura appears to have stolen the entirety of his mother's face, even their expressions are indistinguishable. Despite their spit-and-image appearance, she's so hyper and chipper in her demeanor. Perhaps she's just what Sakura would be if he were female and actually was considerate most of the time.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Sakurazawa." He bows gently once she lets him go. He grins politely, though from the inside he's longing for her warm, motherly embrace once more. She blinks a few times, studying him a little more, then meets his beautifully giant eyes.

"No, call me Sonoko--no, call me mom!" She nods seriously, then takes his hand to her chest. She's so affectionate and kind, her tender grin on full display while all of this is going on. "Come, come, dinner is almost ready!" She takes his hand from his chest and hangs it behind herself, then reaches to lead her son in with a pinch to his ear. “I made cake, too~!"

Sakura delivers a smirk to Hyde, mouthing a 'see?' on the way in. They remove their shoes at the genkan and head in, the sound of muted jazz meeting the acquaintance of their ears. Once the song has faded, on cue, Sakura's father pops his head out the door, taken aback when he sees the singer. 

"Is that.." He appears overwhelmed. "Oh, don't tell me.. that's the guy my son somehow snatched up." Mr. Sakurazawa gulps, then strides over passionately to shake Hyde's hand, who in return bows. He's quite embarrassed for Sakura, who's getting totally chewed out by his own parents. But now he sees where his deadpan sense of humor comes from.

“A proper greeting would’ve sufficed, I think.” Sakura monotonously shoots at both of his upbringers with an inkling of irritability. He folds his arms impatiently, huffing about how this is why he can’t deal with them, beneath his breath.

His mother ignores him, taking ahold of Hyde's hand again, "Honey, can I offer you something to drink before dinner? Sorry to keep you waiting, I just prepared for Yasunori to be late, so I cooked later than usual so the food would be warm." She begins to ramble on about how he's always been one to show up fashionably late. All while this is going on, a short woman and a man about Sakura's height enter the room to greet everyone, having traveled from opposite wings of the house. 

The man is obviously his father's child, while the woman is a true amalgamation of both her parents. Both are awestruck by the heavily pregnant vocalist, and his eyes run wide when he stretches a small forced smile on his face as he awkwardly tries to read what their expressions mean.

"Emiko, Yoichi, quit gawking..." Sakura complains, forcing Hyde to his side as he still locks eyes with them. They begin to size him up, and Hyde’s insecurities get the best of him, this is what he was so entrenchedly on edge about, as he’s feeling a bit scrutinized and wildly perplexed. Without context it feels like they’re internally laughing at him. Sakura wants to snap, impatient with their delayed reactions, they never cease to create rage in him, their vendetta being to melt off his otherwise frosty demeanor by any means. 

“Relax, I’m just observing. He’s beautiful.. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’m Emiko. You can just call me Emi.” Sakura’s sister thrusts her hand out toward Hyde with vitality, dimples racing against each other as they spread down her cheeks. She too, looks as if she could be the female version of Sakura. Her voice is rough, and she’s only around an inch above Hyde in stature. 

“Nice to meet you..” He takes her hand with a nod to his head, disguised as a bow. 

“And I’m Yoichi. I’ve seen you on television a few times, you’re really talented..”

“Oh.” Hyde forces himself to relax. “Ah, well, thank you. It’s really nice to finally meet you both. Yachan’s always talked about you guys a lot. It’s interesting to finally get the visual.”

“I bet he’s talked shit, hasn't he? Typical Yasunori.” Emiko jeers in her little brother’s direction, she can sense he’s getting worked up for no reason, being that both of them enjoy getting familiar with someone right off the bat, especially with Hyde, who might as well count as their brother-in-law. 

Hyde snorts, “Well, I’m not sure if I should go into detail. But. I wouldn’t say he’s said anything particularly bad..”

"And  you got him pregnant, oh boy,.. You're in for a ride for the next twenty years, man..he’s such a loser." Yoichi looks at Hyde in pity, laughter painting his face red. He's scolded by his mother to act his age and mind his manners. And more or less feels some sort of remorse, taking notice of how disoriented he's made the small man, and shrugs. "I'm sorry, I'm just in disbelief that you let this fake edgy bastard call you his boyfriend. You could have anyone, I can tell you that right now. But I'm positive you already know that."

Hyde tilts his head, then smooths a stray strand out of his face. “He’s a cool guy. Don’t be too hard on him, he’s my best friend, after all." He winks, then heads off with Mrs. Sakurazawa to the kitchen, there of which she profusely begs pardon for her offspring's spontaneous and "lowbrow" behavior. She can tell he's a bit uncomfortable, and quickly fixes him a glass of water, he waves it off, he runs into awkward situations substantially, but that Sakura's a great guy, he doesn't get all the ruckus around them dating one bit.

"You guys are assholes." The drummer spits. Sakura's telling his siblings off. He is that guy-- willing to start a commotion in the name of love, especially given that he's naturally blunt. It's not that he's embarrassed, he'd be remiss. It's just the fact that the singer already had his apprehension about this, and they came in with catastrophes of first impressions. And even if Hyde won't admit it, his hormones are in overdrive and he's extra sensitive and a little over-analytical. 

"Oh my god, I was totally kidding." His sister rolls her eyes, crossing her arms in an immature fashion as she leans on the wall next to Yoichi. “He laughed, even." Verily the Sakurazawa siblings are persistent with a hint of arrogance in their means to apologize. So the second oldest obviously shows no sign of true remorse, but rather that she was doing Hyde a solid by turning her nose up at his decision to pursue his brother.

"You're supposed to make him feel welcome. You would think for a woman in your thirties that you’d know to do that." Sakura shoves his hands into his pockets. He's itching for a cigarette right about now, his siblings are working his nerves like clockwork. 

“Relax. You're so worked up for no reason. I think she was just trying to make him feel more welcome. Skip past all the formalities, that’s unnecessary. Maybe we would’ve had more time and not had to rush into being more familiar if you had introduced us to him, I don’t know, when you first started dating?” His brother snarkily points out with a thick brow raised.

“I don’t owe it to you, mom, dad, nor the entire nation of Japan to tell you about my personal life.”

“Then don’t be so upset that I’m joking with your boyfriend now.” His sister rests her hands over her bony hips, her clear objective being to get her point across. “He seems easy-going, we’re just having a good time. What are you being so aggressive for? We’re the ones who should be upset with you, Yasunori. The first time I’m meeting him is now, and he’s having my niece or nephew in a month, right?"

“That doesn’t matter. I don’t want you guys thinking you can question him and talk to him like you’re a drunk or something. I don’t care if you’re just trying to be 'familiar' with him. You don't know him."

"How else will we know him if we don't try? The bottom line is, we were just trying to be friendly. He looked like a deer in headlights, I was just trying to warm him up. Sorry if that embarrassed you."

Sakura shrugs, and he turns on his heels to pad down the hallway and away from Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumber. Still, he's itching for a smoke. Maybe he should just head out and go buy a pack for old time's sake and to alleviate his nerves.

More or less, they do feel contrite, it's evident with how they're being fought to the nail that their brother is vigorously in love with this unbelievably beautiful guy. They can tell how heartbroken Sakura is underneath that icy semblance. They should be happy for him, he's gonna be a father really soon, and he's found someone who cherishes him. But they've decided to laugh in his face. Or perhaps Sakura's got a dose of Hyde's hormones.

"..and he was such a good baby! Always smiling and running around with his diaper off. I think he was tired of being so restricted." When he walks in, his main concern is how Hyde's feeling, but he's actually laughing. And he looks like heaven's incarnate when he smiles. He's nodding away politely as he laughs at her vivid recollection of his boyfriend's toddling days. He appears to not even notice Sakura's entrance, he's just locked in to the story. 

"I guess he's always been like that. But nowadays, he's been a lot more open and gentle. I think it's the baby, we're both becoming more kind people." He takes a sip of his water, then takes a glance up into Sakura's eyes, "Right?" He catches him, then pulls out a laugh when the drummer appears caught. He plays it off, reaching to place his hands on Hyde's narrow shoulders. 

"I'm sorry about all of that, they can be assholes." He gulps, sitting next to him. "You good?" It's times like this where Sakura's true protective side comes in, a contradiction to his otherwise unbothered demeanor.

Hyde nods seriously, and his brows knit. "We were having fun.. don’t worry. And for the record, you’ve always been worthy of dating me, but you knew that." Hyde tilts his head, hair falling down his neck, and a kind grin teasing his pretty lips. They look so plush-- definitely beckoning him. But he can't, he's never been one to show PDA, Hyde's just being pregnant Hyde, his emotions are extremely heightened and everything Sakura's doing is making him fall in love, and vice-versa, actually.

But Sakura quickly indulges, pressing a kiss to Hyde's lips just to taste them, and they are pleasantly flavored, the peppermint lip balm floating on his lips, they tingle a bit. Sakura then offers to help his mother plate the food, leaving Hyde briefly to wait at the table with his hunger pangs.

Emiko takes a seat next to Hyde, throwing her arm around the head of the chair. "I'm really sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I’m a naturally playful spirit, so I just kind of go for it. Still, I can't believe you're with my brother and you're having his baby.” She registers with a stare at his belly, then back to his eyes with a shake to her head.

Hyde nods, he’s slightly intrigued by her earnest confrontation. “Oh, I didn’t mind. You know how he is, and with me, he definitely gets worked up if he thinks someone’s messing with me. But I know you were playing around, don’t worry."

"Sorry, I'm kind of mean to him. I can’t grow out of it,” She laughs. "Older sister things. But, he won't tell me anything about the baby, when are you due? I want to know everything. I’ve wanted to be an aunt forever. I didn’t even consider Nori-chan would be the first to have a baby." She looks genuinely curious, and this is her nephew after all. He's quite sure she's eager to meet this baby just as much as everyone else, if not more.

Hyde sits back in the chair, relaxing a little. "Actually, he's supposed to come out on Christmas. But I think I'm ready for him to come out now, I'm so heavy." He chuckles beautifully, looking over at her with his naturally reposed eyes. "But yeah, one more month."

Emiko actually looks quite remorseful. She can't necessarily speak for the rest of the family, but she wishes she'd been around more during the rest of the pregnancy, she's never experienced it, but she has a feeling he doesn't have that many supportive friends in his corner, or that perhaps he's lost some during this experience. She just can't stop looking at him. Maybe her once annoying little brother has been properly rewarded with a hard-earned partner and a child on the way.

"That's so soon..but you look so wonderful, I wouldn't guess you were over it all." She blinks a few times. “You go by Haido, right?"

He nods, reaching for the glass again, he's starting to get a little winded. "Un, Haido. You can call me Hideto if you want, or Hide, I don't really care either way.” The multitude of plates clinking, laughter, and chattering, around him seems to create some sort of longing for family, for siblings, even if they would get on his case sometimes. Hopefully they can act as a substitute for the siblings his parents never bore for him.

A cloying and unmistakably familiar scent fills Hyde's nostrils--it's Sakura, who walks over and sits, monitoring this conversation that he's been observing from the oven. "I hope you're not cutting up again.” He dismisses Hyde’s nearly abrupt glance in his direction that reads something like ‘relax’ or, ‘you’re doing too much, you’re more upset than me’.

She cuts her eyes at him. "Shut up. I'm being perfectly pleasant. I just asked him what his name was. And I asked when my nephew's coming, since you won't tell me anything about neither of them."

Hyde jumps to the opportunity to interrogate, with no hesitation to be located. "Why won't you tell anyone about us, anyway?" 

Sakura shrugs, he never has been super private when it comes to his family, not with Hyde at least. He supposes he just didn't want this to be a huge deal to begin with, or maybe it’s just that he doesn't owe anyone a reason why it's taken him this long to introduce his now pregnant boyfriend to them. Not like there are any true repercussions, except maybe the inquisitive raised brow that the glowing Hyde is shooting him right now.

"I guess 'cause I know my siblings. They might think I'm okay, but not worthy of bagging someone who looks like you.” He shrugs off, predicting an earful from the visually irritated, large-eyed singer to his left.

Hyde is nauseated by all the ass kissing, of course he's aware of his striking and one of a kind androgynous beauty, but he's seldom seen someone as gorgeous as Sakura either. He has no doubt in his mind that their son is going to be a killer celebrity (if he so chooses) with his genetic predisposition to having an amalgamation of absurdly gorgeous looks.

"When has that ever mattered to you? Let's stop talking about that. I think we make a beautiful couple, we complement each other." He nods with a glimpse to the woman, then sets his head on his palm. The conversation gasps for a change, considering Hyde doesn’t want to entertain this topic all night. "Emiko, what do you do for work?" He doesn't hesitate to change the subject, but the pity he has for Sakura is quite profound as it sets in the back of his head-- he can't fathom why Sakura would be pegged as ugly duckling when he's quite literally the most breathtaking out of the three kids. 

As if watching some romantic film, said Sakura catches himself tuning the conversation out and observing his surroundings. His protective instincts fade out, and now he’s basking in the beauty of his family truly being completed. With Hyde here, he feels he’s truly home. Maybe it’s kind of corny, but he’s in company with the only people who truly matter in his life. Even if present company are guilty of teasing him without hinderance. He’s abruptly snapped out his reverie by his mother, who’s floral scent suffocates and startles him as she presses a cherry-printed kiss to his forehead.

“I missed you.” She tilts his head up to look at him, “You look so wonderful, you really do take after me, don’t you? Mini Sonoko.” His mother’s always been quite a luxurious, kept woman, considering her life has been consumed of being dripped in jewels and expensive garments. She dons a shoe closet upstairs that’s probably the size of his kitchen. Despite her incontestably sumptuous lifestyle, she prides herself off of being an attentive and nurturing mother to her "precious gems" of children. She knows that Sakura has had it the hardest, that’s why she tends to spoil him considerably more than the other two. For now, she can't possess more fondness— she’s gratified on account of her youngest finally blossoming into the man she’d hoped he’d become. It’s no doubt that she’ll be having a word with her children about their first impressions with Hyde, considering the fact that she believes he’s deserving of such a guy, even if she did participate in playful hazing herself.

Sakura indulges in the comfort, he’s not had a moment like this in a little over a year. Since then, he’s reached a peak in his addiction and got clean, found out he’s going to be a father, and obtained more money than he’s ever seen in his pathetic adult life. There’s a lot of emotion behind his mysterious eyes, but for now he’s got his emotions under control enough to simply grin back and mouth a ‘I missed you too,’ back at her. He nuzzles his head against her waist, allowing for her to bend over slightly and drop another kiss to his head. She then begs him to set the table since her husband is preoccupied with relieving himself in the bathroom. 

Dinner’s served. Sakura sneaks Hyde an extra serving, in which he just wiggles his brows and perches a giant grin on his face when he serves Hyde (who laughs awkwardly and raises his brows). Mr. Sakurazawa is the first to let out a contented moan. The food is outstanding in quality, no one would be surprised if Mrs. Sakurazawa had ordered this from some Michelin restaurant or something along those lines. Meanwhile, Hyde tries not to moan. If he does, it’ll sound like an orgasm, since he’s entranced by food more than ever lately.

“Yummy..” He voices, instead. “Wow, this is the best meal I think I’ve had in a very long time.” Maybe even better than his mother’s cooking, now Hyde can decipher where Sakura inherited his culinary abilities.

Mrs. Sakurazawa lights up, as if she’s 1000 watts. Her eyes switch from his round eyes to his belly, “Ah~! Do you both like it?” Her face is so tight, as if her mood of continuing as jolly or foul for the remainder of the evening is contingent upon Hyde’s response.

Hyde follows her eyes, and his voice gets caught in his throat until he’s able to comprehend what she means, “Oh—! Yeah, we both love it!” He places a hand over the curvature of his belly, then directs his attention to the flustered Sakura, murmuring about how Hyde should stop the cute antics in public. Hyde gently kicks his foot under the table and mocks his tone, defending that his cute antics aren’t to be helped, they are merely natural.

Yoichi's still staring at Hyde as if he’s stepped off a runway. Maybe the guy's had a long-time crush on this Kansai hottie, or maybe he’s still in utter disbelief that his younger brother knocked up this celestial creature, meanwhile he’s single, and for lack thereof,  a bit bitter that his baby brother scored the number one name on everyone’s lips right now. Its flattering in Hyde’s eyes, the way he occupies himself with anything other than Hyde’s eyes when he meets eye contact with him. Sakura’s not impressed, to say the least, allowing his food to fall from his chopsticks while he busies himself with glaring his older brother down. 

“So, tell me. What’s it like being in this famous band with Yasunori?” Mr. Sakurazawa clears his throat while battling with tough meat tucked into his gums. “He’s a piece of work, I know it. And he never seems to tell us anything!”

Hyde glances at Sakura, who simply shrugs and shoves a ginormous spoonful of rice into his thin lips. His eyes return to the opposite end of the table, meeting the father’s comforting eyes. “He’s the most mysterious out of all of us. He intimidates me, and I guess to a certain extent I probably intimidate him too. I think he’ll say he’s not intimidated because of my height, but I can probably still beat him up despite that.” He’s surprised when he’s met with laughter, and they seem to lean into more comfort with him. They’re intrigued, more than anything. But all they need is for Hyde to open up and they’ll be claiming him to the entire town. 

The family begin to inquire about the day to day operations of this impendingly successful group. His mother voices her concern about the fans-- she's noticed how they seem to scream, pull, follow, push. Sakura assures her that they don't pay them any mind. Quite frankly, the drummer doesn't want to talk work while he's away from it. It's bad enough to be the member who wanted to dip from it all.

"Is that how you guys met?” Emiko throws a question toward Hyde, between a swig of wine.

It's kind of a silly question to ask, since it possesses such an obvious answer, but he's trying to be cordial, given the fact that these people are going to be apart of his child's life for as long as they live. Still, Hyde’s mouth moves upwards into a gentle grin to answer back and molds his mouth to fit the shape of his next word.

"Yeah, actually. Our original drummer left, as did our original guitarist, so Yachan made the final cut. I don't think he liked me at first, but neither did our former drummer."

Hyde shudders at the thought of Hiro, the stunning, cold, former guitarist constantly making snide remarks to him, blatantly ignoring him, speaking to everyone else but him. There came a time after Sakura joined where Hyde convinced himself that he was the foul smell that drives the members away or prompts them to find fault with him. But eventually realized, not Sakura, or course, because even if he found Hyde insufferable personality-wise, he clearly is the definition of gorgeous. As if he and his giant smile would be there grinning back at you if you were to look up "stunning" in the dictionary.

Sakura interjects. "For the record, I would not still be with him if that were true. I think he was annoying at first, but it was like a cute annoying. Besides, he ate my food when we first met, and he still eats my food, but somehow he's still around.” His head bobs up and down, a smile unknowingly stretched onto his face. Hyde looks back at him with an expression that reads nothing but being in love. His head tilts back, melting into Sakura’s words, soothing himself with each noun that places itself over a verb.

The family can't take their eyes off how Hyde seems to disintegrate the man's frosty demeanor. It's a wonder what the baby's gonna wreak havoc on, as far as his personality. 

They look a bit caught when everyone pauses to look at them. Hyde's wide eyes move to each of them rapidly, then down at the food in front of him. Sakura raises a brow, "Why are you all staring at us like that?"

"Just..it's cute that you finally found love." 

Sakura deadpans, "Weren't you all the ones saying I didn't deserve to date him?" He feels Hyde's hand slide to his thigh in hopes that he'll relax. His replies seem hostile, and that's not called for.

Emiko's eyes roll, she's not going to allow him to throw her immaturity in her face for the rest of the night, even if she deserves it. Her hand reaches to graze Hyde's forearm. "I actually think you guys are really precious together, and it makes me sick." Her seemingly frosty front towards the situation seems to have melted since the singer's been opening up and conversing more. He nods his head a little with a smile tucked onto his lips.

The drummer figures he'll bite his tongue so long as his family doesn't try to embarrass him and retort to smart aleck remarks about his appearance, even if he’s aware they’re pulling his leg. He's here to enjoy time with everyone, after all. Relieved that they're at least being kind to his boyfriend. He'd rather that than them just being kind to them.

Hyde completes his serving without haste, and Mrs. Sakurazawa insists on making him another plate, for the baby, she advises with a saccharine grin. At first he declines, but she's so persistent in her means to persuade him, he gives in. He actually ends up having another serving after the second, in which Sakura accuses her of trying to fatten up his boyfriend. Hyde protests, he calls to mind that he's already fatter than he's ever been, so stated matter-of-factly.

The remainder of dinner consists of more catching up. Hyde simply basks in the fondly-recounted stories about the children and their childhood. He learns that Sakura was actually quite a rambunctious and bubbly little boy, and even as a child he had a mouth on him. Out of respect, neither of the parents interview the couple on their work, they could tell it made them squirm to talk about work when outside of it. 

Sooner or later, Hyde starts to feel like one of their own, he finds himself nodding away and chuckling while his hand is gently being caressed and intertwined under the table. Sakura's finally joins in to the camaraderie. He keeps chiming in and enthusiastically and vividly reminiscing with his siblings.

After dinner, Hyde is forced on the couch by the women of the household while the cake gets frosted. Sakura accompanies him for the sake of settling his stomach and kicking back, the smell of home seems to unwind him. Since his mood has been toned down, he's now just staring at the singer and kissing his hand every few seconds. Hyde appears to be plucked from heaven today, so what if he's a bit of a softie for a while? Nobody’s around.

"Ew, are you in love with me or something?" Hyde plasters a disgusted grin on his face, a hand perched to the side of his stomach. "I don't think you've ever looked at me like this."

Sakura purses his lips together. "I do. When you're not looking. You actually need to get it together. Why are you glowing so much today? It's sick."

Hyde rolls his eyes. He's a sucker for Sakura's austere, slightly pensive flirting. He's not so blatant where it's too chummy, not reciting Shakespeare or serenading him in public, clad balloons and boxes of department store chocolates. His way of flirting is preferred, he's charming with that infuriatingly gorgeous smirk of him.

"I can't help it, I have a mini Yachan inside of me." He glances at his stomach while motioning to it as if displaying a precious, coveted jewel; then meets Sakura's keen stare. This only beseeches him to move closer to the petite, his arm still wrapped around the back of the loveseat. He doesn’t waste time to place a frigid hand over Hyde's large belly, his eyes traveling down to it, and he's grinning so widely, his face might as well tear.

His sister peeks from the doorway, a camera occupying her gentle fingers while she records this tableau. She'd been nosy and plucked the camera from the bag he'd brought in. Maybe he'll be grateful to know that she's capturing a moment he otherwise wouldn't be able to.

Hyde's not sure if he should pull out the voice he babies his unborn child in while in such occasion, but he manages to do it discreetly. "Are you saying hi?" His hand begins to tenderly rub his side. Sakura's sitting in amazement as if he's never felt the baby move before. Mouth slightly open, eyes alert with a warmness knitted into them. In his mind, his entire world revolves around the two in front of him, so he's melted into a state of euphoria. That's the power both the baby and Hyde have over him.

"Hey.." Sakura tilts his head while supporting it on his free hand. "You got to experience your grandma's cooking for the first time tonight, isn't it so good?"

As if to reply, the baby delivers a gentle kick to Hyde's side, prompting the both of them to chuckle. That's a good enough response for Sakura. Maybe he’d argue that his baby’s response is far more profound than any other being he’s come across.

"Here we are.." Mrs. Sakurazawa sets two pieces of china on the table that are toppled off with giant pieces of strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting to top it all off. The singer stares hungrily at them, and Sakura's not doubting Hyde will help himself to both. He hopes he'll manage to get a bite before Hyde ravages through it savagely, leaving nothing but crumbs, but he might even vacuum those up too.

She notices their hands on his belly and can easily be read as envious. "May I..?” Hurriedly, she makes her way over and sits herself beside the singer after Sakura abruptly stands to fetch them both something to wash the cake down with. Her eyes brim with a starriness, she looks as if she's never seen something so breathtaking in her life. 

Hyde nods enthusiastically, “Of course..” He’s actually relieved that the topic of neither of them announcing to their parents formally has been brought up. He's just overwhelmed with how sweet this family is. He has no doubt in his mind they’ll spoil his little flower to no end.

Mrs. Sakurazawa’s expression is obvious in the nature of overwhelmed and touched, she begins to sniffle once her hands meet his distended belly. He can tell she's always longed for grandchildren since her days of bearing children had ceased. He's more than grateful to be able to give her what she's always wanted. 

"Oh my.." She tilts her head, reflective, blue-raven ringlets of hair brushing across her shoulders with every movement she makes. She's subtle, moving her hands around gently for any inklings. Hyde stares at her more analytically while she's up close, careful not to carry an intrusive gander. Her genes are extremely strong, he wouldn't be surprised if the baby looked like her too, but then again, his father's genes are just as strong.

Sakura comes back and is seated on a lounger adjacent to the pair, then starts to chow down on the cake. He comes bearing tea, but Hyde's more occupied with how lovely his potential mother-in-law is. 

"Ah!" Her hands fly from his stomach, then return, a fond grin having appeared on her thin lips in joy. "Hello, sweetheart.." It appears more than anything, she's too eager to meet her grandson now, just a mere kick excites her as if a child receiving the toy they’d bugged their parents for. Her eyes meet Hyde's curious pair, gratefulness dug into her. He pulls a gorgeous smile on his delicate face, not aware that Sakura's across from him, smirking with a vigorous, profound love in the undertones. His mother is perhaps his ultimate best friend, then there’s Hyde, who he owes everything to. And his son, who is his savior, he’s overwhelmed.

"I think he really enjoyed your cooking. I know I did." The singer confesses, patting his stomach thrice to place emphasis. 

She kindly nods her head, mouthing a 'good' as she snaps her eyes back to his belly. "I am going to spoil him so much, it won't be funny." 

Sakura just laughs. He can imagine it now, his tiny son running around beating with his hands on counters and tables wearing some new ready-to-wear designer outfit. Maybe he'll be the stylish version of himself. His mother never failed to dress him in something that she knew without doubt that children his age simply didn't have. He had the most unique pieces on, but still managed to get them filthy and earned scoldings and swift, minor punishments like an ear tug.

His mother spends the next ten minutes fawning over every move the baby makes, then doesn’t hesitate to voice her wishes that the baby has Hyde's eyes, she confesses she's in love with them. Sakura can't help but notice how his boyfriend seems to have an impact on everyone he comes across. He really is irresistible. 

Once dessert is polished off, the siblings talk Hyde's ear off. He doesn't mind, he actually is being indulged. He doesn't really talk to many people besides Sakura nowadays. Emiko is actually quite sweet despite her intimidating first impression, and Yoichi offers a few untold stories about Sakura when he’s out of the room, Hyde learns that he has always been a softie with a hard shell. Mr. Sakurazawa gifts the couple with wisdom in which Sakura just grits and sucks his teeth because he doesn't feel like he needs anyone else throwing their two cents in on how he should raise his child, even if he needs it. At least Hyde’s receptive.

The family would be remiss if they didn't send the couple off with containers of food to take home. Something tells the Mrs. that neither of them are capable of making a home cooked meal, not to mention she's privy to her son's habit of eating out or ordering takeout. Hyde's thrown for a loop when she kisses them both on the cheek and pleads for Hyde to come stay over before the baby comes. 

"Was that at all like you expected? I know I acted like I brat, but. I meant well." Sakura catches Hyde later, after indulging in a shower. He's all showered himself, wrapped up in a plain tee and some sweats. He looks incredibly sexy, even if he's just simply holding a camera with his legs crossed on the comforter, toying around with it.

"No, actually!" Hyde beams, patting his neck with a towel once he's thrown a shirt over his body, it clings adorably to his middle, not quite fitting over himself completely. "I was surprised at how sweet your family is.” He turns to the mirror behind him to slather on some lip balm and nods playfully once done.

"So... I'm gonna ask you again. Do you have anything to say to the camera? Four weeks away.." Sakura's baritone, bored voice somehow manages to draw out the last syllable cutely.

Hyde rolls his eyes fondly, rounded eyes going soft once he meets Sakura's, one eye winks playfully in reply. He guesses he'll do the honor of indulging. It is kind of monumental, if he thinks about it in a deeper aspect. He has less than thirty days before his life changes forever. Not to mention, he's in good spirits, as a result of dinner. 

Nothing fills the room but a hum for the time being, "Hmm.." Hyde settles on the bed carefully, then props his head on the headboard behind himself. Sakura positions the camera so you can see Hyde's upper half, but he's so tiny, fitting into the frame is no issue. Even on a home camera, Hyde fails to display a bad angle.

“So..flower, today I got to hang out with your other side of the family. Your grandmother is a fantastic cook, so I know you'll probably be preciously chubby with all the food she's going to make for you. She kept bragging about how spoiled you’re going to be.." He fondly creates a vision of a tiny, chubby little boy being held by Mrs. Sakurazawa as he slurps away at her homemade food. His eyes travel to his belly and he allows his hands to tenderly hold it. He looks to be so fond by the very thought that he's carrying a gift that's both his and the man of his dreams'. "And.. you'll be here so soon, and I can finally see what an amazing little human I've created. Everyone keeps saying you're going to be beautiful. I agree.. I feel beautiful carrying you too, so I know it must be true."

Sakura's so touched, he's lastingly eager for the same thing. A little boy often appears in his dreams lately, and he has to believe it's a premonition, his son presenting himself before his arrival. "You've got my Hydee all emotional and precious, little flower."

Hyde is carefully escorted out of the metallic, boxy van upon arrival to only venue left of the Carnival of True concert for this year, hopefully to be postponed next March. He’s not but just a few days shy of the baby’s arrival, but he promised one last finale, and he never goes back on his word. He’s a fair guy. Still, he’s super pregnant, and of course, Sakura’s is the only hand he takes when he’s helped out. The drummer gives him an oddly warm, wide grin, as he’s convinced he’s seldom been this elated in his life. It’s like this baby is magic, capable of making even the grumpiest man alive become at peace with his surroundings he once despised. For once he feels apart and not like a parasite to his peers. The differences have been reconciled, he’s clean, and he’s about to be a father.

They waltz past a crowd of fangirls from in front of the gates they’re behind, who scream their names and wave teddy bears and albums at them to either take or sign. Per Hyde’s request, the managers will gather gifts for the baby, and letters are always accepted even on a normal day.

“I think I’m in bliss..” Hyde sighs out once his shoes are off and he’s on the couch in the dressing room. He and Sakura are sharing a two liter bottle of tea, exchanging swigs back to back as if its a joint. Tetsuya’s reclined beside him in a lounge chair, feet crowned with a pair of platform heels kicked up as he flips through some magazine with girls in platform knee-high boots plastered on the cover. Ken’s eating in between swinging a lightsaber at one of their managers who assumes position of being his opponent. 

“If I was in your position, I definitely wouldn’t be in bliss.” Tetsuya assumes, crossing his legs as he splays his hand on his hollow cheek. He flips to the next page and takes a long, hard gander at his friend’s large stomach. “Looks painful.” Hyde just looks up, slightly hurt by his remarks, but nonetheless, it’s typical green-eyed Tetsuya. Hyde figures a manifestation of immaturity from a twenty-seven year old man upset because he couldn’t get with a beaut like him is well deserved.

“Shut up.” Sakura shoots back without looking up from Resident Evil on the CRTV, spamming a few buttons in rotation. “Nobody would want to get you pregnant, anyway. What could you possibly offer to a child? Disciplinary skills that are just outright annoying more than beneficial to their development?”

Tetsuya ignores with a sharp glare to the drummer. He supposes he hasn’t been too kind to Hyde or his little one lately, but it’s all conceived out of jealousy. Even still, he’s tried to show up for him in other ways, perhaps if dyeing his hair the most vivid shade of cherry (and being trusted with said color against Hyde's colorblindness), or taking him to get a basket full of snacks at 7/11 after rehearsal counts. Taking it upon himself to personalize the whole ordeal, rather than internalizing his frustration that’s been prolonged and failed to be dealt with for the past seven or so months, he can no longer keep his composure, resulting in constant snide comments to the couple, or to Hyde’s appearance.

Hyde blankets a borrowed jacket from Sakura over himself more, “It’s really cold in here, you’d think they’d turn the heat on or something..it’s the end of December.” He throws a sour tone over his words, comedically chattering his teeth when finished. Once Sakura pauses the game, he glances over and rubs his hands over Hyde’s in attempt to warm them up, washing the frigid fingers over with his humid breath. Tetsuya’s countenance doesn’t suffice for the welling of thoughts in his mind, how bizarre to him that Sakura, out of nowhere, now feels compelled to be there for Hyde, when he’s put him on an emotional rollercoaster all these months, he’d never have the singer in constant devastation if he had it his way. But alas.

“Aren’t you warm enough? You’re always so warm when I touch you..” He lets one of his hands fall to Hyde’s large belly, “There’s like a full-grown baby in here, you’ve gotta be warm.” 

Hyde moves his bangs out his face, “Well, he’s warm, my hands aren’t..I wonder if Emi-chan brought the black fur jacket, I always burn up in that thing…” 

“I can ask her.” Ken pops up from behind the couple cradling a banana like a baby. 

“Thanks.”

After the coat is salvaged and set over his shoulders, Hyde luxuriates in a nap and awakes just in time to pull on his adorable outfit of a suit with a white dress shirt and platform heels. He allows his fingertips to fall to his stomach, “You ready?” He directs to his stomach in a voice that sits above a whisper. He looks up into the vanity with widened, adoring eyes. He can’t believe how beautiful he is, even with how haggard he feels at times, especially days when he’s bloated and cranky. But today, he looks stunning, nothing less. He turns and takes in each angle of himself, with his hands still cradling his large stomach. 

“You’re always talking to him, aren’t you?” Sakura startles Hyde with a peek in the doorway.

Hyde sighs out, nothing to be abashed about. "We always have a little pep talk before concerts.. its a courtesy, considering I'm disturbing his sleep for almost two hours."

"Is that what it is?" Sakura slides in behind the shorter, blowing on his frigid fingers before resting them over Hyde's. He cranes his neck down into the crook of Hyde's neck and sighs contentedly. "You're so warm."

"You're so cold." Hyde turns slightly to raise up a brow, "You're not gonna put on some sleeves, silly? How many times have we seen the black wife beater?"

"Mmmm, every show. I've got no shame in my game."

"Hm? What are you doing?" Hyde chuckles gingerly at Sakura behind him, pulling up the panel above his belly carefully and turns him around to button up his blouse. His gaze doesn't dare waver and retort out from his body, and once he's done, lands a kiss over Hyde's belly and stands back up.

"Why, thank you." Hyde's unmistakably blushing, especially with how Sakura's got this odd, friendly grin on his wide cheeks. His eyes fall on Hyde's large belly, which he's tempted to grab and pepper even more kisses over.

Hyde catches his stare, then his hands pat twice over his stomach. "Wanna give him kisses? He's your son, Yachan, go for it.."

Sakura pries Hyde's hands off his belly and places a couple kisses over the fabric. "Now, you better not distract him like you did last show."

"He's trying to sleep and we're all playing music, he's inside of me and I'm singing. You'd be pissed too."

"You just started laughing mid-performance."

"Everyone thought it was really cute."

"You shushed your belly, that was so child-like. It's like you're a spectacle to them."

"Am not!"

One of the assistants interrupts to let them know they're about to go on in about five minutes, which offers enough time for Hyde to take one last look in the mirror, grab a kiss from Sakura, for the band to do their pre-show pep-talk, and finally, going over the setlist one last time before Hyde heads on stage for Gurasu Dama.

The way in which Hyde's able to flawlessly perform at such an advanced stage of his pregnancy, the most advanced stage blows the audience back. Their eyes survey his every move, the way he's able to keep his balance effortlessly, still twirl around with ease and engage with them as if he holds nary a single care in the world. It's a performance, truly in essence. At times, even the other members cock an eyebrow at the floating that Hyde seems to do across the stage, such a juxtaposition to the belligerent whining and heavy waddling he seems to gait out on a normal day.

There's an intermission, then they're met with the loud screech of the voices of the fans, filling Hyde’s ears when he walks out from backstage in a Santa Claus outfit, Sakura’s just wearing a button up and suit with no shoes on.

There are no words to describe just how innately adorable Hyde is right now, with his candy-apple red hair matching the polyester of the costume, his big belly sticking out adorably in front of himself as he wanders around the stage slowly before they put on their little magic show. The crowd falls quiet and bursts with cheer as if a scale, ebbing and flowing, with the unforgivably corny, though a bit slow-paced, amusement going on between the couple on stage. Sakura pulls out roses, flags out of hats, all while Hyde throws his hands out to highlight and proudly display the “profoundly extraordinary” doings of the Great Sakura. They sword fight with sticks, which eventuates in a bouquet of flowers— the fans roar in excitement at the sight of Sakura so much as sticking them in Hyde’s direction. Eventually, it ends, and Sakura retrospectively contemplates if it was all really worth it, since the fans didn’t seem impressed, frankly just engrossed by the couple interacting solely.

“So what am I getting for Christmas, Santa?”

Hyde looks out at the crowd while he taps his chin dramatically. “Hmm..” He listens to the loud suggestions from the crowd, closes his eyes, and nods as if he’s deliberating. He then proceeds to head over to where Sakura’s standing and presses his stomach against Sakura’s slim stomach, then points to it. This is the magic spell for the fans to flip their lids.

“What’s this?” Sakura’s hands feel around Hyde’s large stomach for a few seconds, as if he’s inspecting something.

Hyde reaches to whisper in Sakura’s ear, and the frosty, unamused permanent scowl that the younger wears defrosts into a boyish-like shock.

“A baby?"

The afterparty is at Ken’s, and it’s already solidly packed. Convinced that Hyde would go into labor for whatever reason, both Ken and Sakura insisted they'd escort him home, but Hyde argued against them, that this will probably be the last party he’ll attend for at least four to six months. When they arrived with their tails tucked between their legs from the ever persistent Hyde, Ken began to make love to the punch bowl, and Sakura decided on hauling Hyde somewhere.

"Where are we going?" Hyde blinks, his feet are protesting as Sakura nearly drags him to the kitchen. Once he's there, he shoots him a quizzical glare. “Yachan.."

Sakura tops up a red plastic cup with the spiked eggnog a staff member prepared and nearly offers some to Hyde until he has an epiphany. His flirtatious smile fleets as he begins watching Hyde, clad a thin coating of natural blush on his cheeks. His partner stands quietly across from him, stomach poking out his shirt when he reaches upward to fix his hair. He catches Sakura’s overt gawking at him. If he wasn’t sure, he’d bet on Sakura’s face approaching the color of the cup adorned in his hand, in just a mere few seconds.

"What?” Hyde herds his shirt down, then settles his hands on his aching lower back. His expression reads a bit of bewilderment when he realizes that Sakura is indeed, checking him out. Perhaps its the best of his insecurity from being so swollen and out there, or just because Sakura will go to extreme, admonitory measures to ensure Hyde doesn’t witness him fawning over him.

"You're just so cute."

"Did you drink before we got here?” Hyde gives, questioning his sanity.

"I'm not allowed to think you're cute even when sober? You’re having my baby, after all. I have to actually like you, don’t I?"

Hyde shrugs. "I guess.." He glances over to see if he spots any chocolate, he's got a major hankering for some right now and somehow can’t recount when he hasn’t craved it. He pulls his shirt down once again, absentmindedly, then looks back up. He looks unfathomably angelic. Sakura contemplates on the possibility to look that effortlessly gorgeous. But he’d seldom admit that, anyway. It’s enough to call Hyde cute from time to time, if he shoots him compliments too often, his ego will inflate, and his head will become just about as generously large as his stomach in its current state.

“What are you looking for?” Sakura slurps between the ice in the cup and what’s left of the eggnog. He continues to gift Hyde with surprises of actually giving a fuck about what he’s doing, let alone staying around for this long. Usually he’d vacate Hyde’s company and busy himself with heckling a manager or someone on staff. But today, something in the universe must of shifted, Sakura’s clinging to even the most insignificant words Hyde is spewing out, as if they are the words of a renowned poet.

“Chocolate.” Hyde answers simply, his voice is gentle per usual, but his hand placing itself over his stomach calls for Sakura to want to melt into himself. “This baby is so hungry nowadays, I don’t know why.”

“Hmm, he’s probably gaining his strength for the big day.” Sakura jokes through the pour of the ladle to his cup for a refill. 

“He’s so mean..” Hyde frowns, hand lazily stroking his stomach. “He doesn’t have to kick me, I’m trying to find him some chocolate..” 

“He really is like me, huh? Demanding.” Sakura strains his neck from the bowl before returning to the suffocating beauty of Hyde. “And the nerve, you’d think he’d be tired of sweets by now.”

“I know..” Hyde furrows his brows when his baby delivers him a fierce kick. “Relax, flower.. I’m doing the best I can..” 

Sakura raises a brow. He figures, it’s Ken’s house, he knows there’s gotta be a pantry nearby with a box of chocolate bars or something. He snoops around through a few cabinets and drawers, and finally fishes out an untouched chocolate bar in the silverware drawer. “Gotcha.” He inches over to Hyde comedically with a goofy face plastered on his devilishly handsome features, then once close enough, gets on one knee and holds it up to Hyde. “Will you?”

“Of course I will!” Hyde places his other hand on his chest, dramatic, emotional tone into his on-the-spot characterization. He allows Sakura to slide the bar into his hand and doesn’t hesitate to rip the plastic wrapper apart to get to the precious sustenance that’ll quell his son’s anger. He winks at Sakura while his other hand rubs up and down his large belly. 

“You need to sit, I know two hours in those shoes has got you sore."

“Not necessarily, I sat for a while in the car, anyway. I do wanna get out of here, though. I need some air.”

“It’s like, freezing outside. I can bear it, but can you? You were so cold earlier.”

“Hmm,” Hyde shrugs, “Its not like its snowing… I’ll be fine. Besides, everyone’s just going to kiss my ass about the performance and ask to touch my stomach.” He releases his hand from his side and holds it out to Sakura, who in return indulges and allows Hyde to escort him into the madness that’s the party and out to the patio for a sweet escape.

Once they’re out there, their eyes encapsulate the moon, Sakura's arms snake around Hyde's waist as their hands shyly come to cradle their child's home as they gaze up. Though it's frosty outside as it is the prime of winter, but somehow the chill is still bearable enough for the three of them to caress.

"Hide.." Sakura starts, but he fumbles. He's not really one to make such a leap of romanticism, even under the influence of a few harmless drinks. He's aware that he's been a complete cornball for the all day, and at this lame, overrated and over described party (the manager said it would be bustling with hotties and music, and there's a DJ, but he's playing foreign hits that perhaps in their respective countries, everyone is begging the stations to stop playing.). 

It's just that Hyde looks unreal tonight, and he's so precious to him, so patient, so willing to fall with him. Perhaps Sakura didn't take all that into account until today. Hyde truly has made some unfathomable sacrifices for him this year, and he's never given up on him either. He's been playing around, calling Hyde his fiancé lately, but he wants it to become a reality sooner or later.

"Un.."

"I hate myself for saying this, but you're probably best thing that's ever happened to me." He blurts out, oddly out of character, as he says this timidly despite his signature monotonous drawl.

"Aww, are you being cute tonight?"

"I'm serious." The drummer recoils back a little, for dramatic affect, then recoils back in. "I mean. I'm clean, my career is going..okay, I'm making money, and I'm about to be a father with the most amazing person on the planet. I'm a lucky guy. A truly lucky guy." He presses his angular chin into Hyde's shoulder, the gentle scent of Hyde's shampoo gently brushing against his nostrils familiarly. 

In collateral, Hyde melts into Sakura's touch as if honey back into its jar after being poured. His heart is racing a bit. This moment feels a bit familiar to him, as the last time he felt this full of both adoration and enamoration was when Sakura asked him to be his boyfriend on a rainy afternoon a few years ago. Now they're here, about to have a son and perhaps an engagement after, from the forecast— Sakura had given him an Alex Streeter ring while in New York at the beginning of the year, employing it as a promise ring, because he wasn’t so sure if he was ready to ask Hyde to marry him, but now, he just might be.

"I'm so happy. Being here with you. Right now.. both of us are happy to be here with you." 

Sakura's heart nearly leaps out of his chest when Hyde places the emphasis on the baby being contented too. It speeds a bit more when he watches Hyde fondly rub his stomach, then ever so gently, picks up his hand and guides his hand to where their baby is gently kicking. 

“I know he’s still pissed I couldn’t get the chocolate fast enough, but.. he's always moving when you're around. It's like he's excited or something. He already adores you. He wanted me to tell you that." The singer looks up with those grossly giant eyes, catching Sakura off guard. He's so not like himself tonight.

"Oh yeah?"

"He can't wait to meet you. I think he'll be a lot like you, actually.” Hyde's voice is dripping in a reverie, dreamy and a warm in tone. His voice has always been so fluid, so melodic, as if you could swim in the gentle rise and fall of it.

"God, I hope not." Sakura chuckles in good honesty. "He needs to have a good head on his shoulders. Honestly speaking, he should be like neither of us."

"I agree." Hyde looks back at the drummer once again. "But I've always thought you were quite literally everything I've ever wanted to be, that's what makes you so perfect to me. I'm not afraid to confess that."

"Me? Bossy and pessimistic?" Sakura half-heartedly jokes.

"Besides that, but even that I like. Sure, you annoy me, but I'm so in love with you."

Sakura strangles his words at first, then releases them in the heat of the moment. “..I’m in love with you too. Even if I’m a dick sometimes. I think I try too hard to pull back ‘cause I don’t want you getting the impression I’m a softie.”

“I know you’re a softie, Yasunori.” Hyde raises a brow, “I know you’re madly in love with me, even if you try and pretend you’re too cool for me. But you don’t have to do that. You can just love me with no boundaries like how I do with you.”

“I guess you really do love me. Through my nasty attitude, my bad moods, or my bad breath, my oily hair.. you just love me for who I am, you don’t care as long as you’ve got me. And that’s why I believe you’re not just my boyfriend, you’re my best friend too."

“We’re a team.” Hyde declares, bending his neck slightly to align himself under Sakura’s chin. When he does, the drummer holds Hyde tighter, overwhelmed at the moment with his entire life’s meaning in the constraints of his arms. His cheeks against the cold flush with the shade of crimson, washing over his nose and cheeks as he fills with warmth. His chapped lips fall to Hyde’s neck, then to his plush lips when he turns his head to beseech his lover to revel in a chaste kiss.

Hyde pulls back with a look from the drummer’s lips to his eyes, and he loses himself in them. He himself is nursing a rapid heartbeat from being overwhelmingly in love with this individual. And Sakura allows him to do his staring, nothing between them but their breath and Hyde’s rapid blinking from nerves. Maybe Sakura’s lips twitch from nerves himself, as if its their first kiss again, unsure of the next verb to follow. 

Hyde follows the sharp angles of Sakura’s jaw, to the gentle curve of his lips, he’s always been this unforgivably sexy individual, equal parts beautiful and devilishly handsome. He can’t speak for him, but he knows he was in love at first sight. Sakura’s eyes, when relaxed, are wide and welcoming, framed by beautiful, thick lashes, adorning his face with a balance of tenderness. 

Sakura can’t help but take notice of how this tiny man is so unreal, as he's always been a doll. His lips are especially swollen. It's an ongoing joke that if anything, the baby has just enhanced his beauty to the max. Eyes glossier, lips plumper, skin shinier. He's so effortlessly flawless. The way his bangs swing like silk with his every move, even if he were to tilt his head back, they'd fall back into place. The way his eyes stare with a wideness that would make one believe he’s bulging them. He is the epitome of natural, untouched beauty.

With the chivy of their lips crashing into each other, they lose themselves once again, never mind their rushed breaths, seeping from their noses and out into the frosty air. Hyde grabs ahold of Sakura’s jacket, and Sakura, the back of Hyde’s neck and his cheek. There is a mutual understanding that they’ve reached the highest point of their relationship at this moment, and there’s an emotional pomp and circumstance that yields from this occasion. 

Once they’ve spent 17 minutes being gross and in love, Ken decides to crash their little family time to invite them in for games. At first, he was told by not just Sakura to fuck off, but bribed them both with jungle juice and chocolate cake a friend who just arrived came bearing.

To Hyde, the games are nothing grand, perhaps they provided splendor for those heavily intoxicated.  Perhaps for Sakura, who helped himself to not only the jungle juice but the jello shots as well. He’d made Hyde get up and dance with him, in which the singer got winded, violated and humiliated when Ken stood behind him and rubbed his belly to the beat of the song while Sakura held his hand in the air and humped him. Six minutes of Sakura half-yelling into his ear about how they were just joking around and they’re all having a good time later, Hyde sat sitting in the circle with everyone again.

“Hey,” Ken slurs, a red cup of jungle juice cradled in his left hand as he clutches a stuffed bear to himself in the corner of a lips-shaped couch. “Where-" he burps, "Where was your baby conceived?”

Hyde’s eyes go wide as he tints the color of a speckled strawberry, almost as if he’s the same color as his cherry-Jello hair. Of course, they’re all best friends and Ken’s welcome to interrogate with the most crude questions, but it’s just the suddenness of the drunken man’s question and the fact that they’re in company of friends and staff. Hyde buries himself deeper into Sakura’s arms, only hesitantly shifting in hopes Sakura won't remove his hand from rubbing gentle circles on his stomach. Sakura’s got his sharp chin buried in Hyde’s neck, intoxicated and kissing everywhere from his neck to his ear. He’s tuning Ken out.

“Hmm..” Hyde’s complexion flushes out and his skin is back to the gentle pale with the gorgeous peachy glow. “I think maybe that seventies party Ein-kun threw at the beginning of the year. It had to be around that time if it’s been nine months.”

“Of course you guys fucked there!”

“Is that where you guys went off to? Jesus christ.” Tetsu’s scoffs into his cup of lemonade. 

“Issnotlikeissanyonesbusiness..”

“Enunciate for those who aren’t intoxicated.” Tetsu chastises, clad a smirk.

“I said, It’s not like its anyone’s business, you bastards have probably had sex at parties too. Ken-chan especially.” Sakura spits.

“Yeah, but I didn’t knock anyone up. Look at what you did to poor Hide, he’s like three feet tall walking around with a belly bigger than him!” 

“Do you know how many people want to get him pregnant? You’re both just mad you couldn’t do it.”

There’s no arguing that, but still, Hyde nudges his boyfriend and reprimands him playfully under his breath.

“Whatever, I don’t even wanna argue with someone's parents, if I wanted to do that, I’d call my folks up. Anyway, who wants another round of Jello shots!” Ken revs up, only to be met with a measly response.. from Sakura.

When Ken's vacated for his Jello shot, Sakura decides to lay his head in Hyde's lap, and stares deeply into his eyes for a moment, then lends his ear to the large belly. "Ah.. he's singing in there.."

Hyde gives a warm smile. "Oh yeah? What's he singing?"

"Mienakute, mienakute.."

"Yachan.."

"Hmm?"

"You're so drunk."

"A little."

When the ambience around them settles, all that's audible are a few glasses clinking and some Alanis Morissette song serenading the wide open space of the den. Sakura's still punch drunk, but he's starting to glacially sober up, comforted by the gentle soothe of Hyde's hands smoothing his hair away from his forehead as he rests his head on his lap.

"Those songs.. you know, I think about them a lot..." The drummer draws out, releasing a belch that causes Hyde to hold his breath in attempt to evade the putrid redolence. 

"What songs are you referring to?"

"Songs like 'I'm so happy"... I know we wrote it together, but I guess it never dawned on me that I'm hard for you to love."

"You're not hard for me to love, Yachan. I think at the point I wrote those lyrics, I felt like maybe our relationship was falling apart in a way." Hyde's voice is silk to the touch, their conversation is only hovering over a whisper. "Now, I think I could probably marry you or something." His confession is an amalgam of jest and factuality, to say the least. He doesn't want to jump the broom any time soon, but he knows for sure now that Sakura is the one.

Sakura gulps. His mind travels when he's brewing under the influence. Bubbling with whimsy at time as he gallops into his own fantasies and idealism. But this particular bout of intoxication serves him deep contemplation, nothing like the horrifying doom he'd feel when high, but more of remorse and sudden realization.

"You just sing that song so passionately. As if you're holding on to something. I wonder if I... may be, or may have been a burden to you."

"...I'm by your side, thick and thin. We are always going to have our ups and downs, so long as we stay together. But.." The singer shifts his position slightly, discomforted by both his unborn child and his father resting on his bladder. "Giving up on you is something I'll never do. You have to remember you double as my best friend, too."

Hyde is no stranger to the stripped down, melted off, raw Sakura-- who longs to be cherished. His character is supposed to be some sort of womanizer, but of course, it's as much as a facade as Hyde's fake-serious personality in front of the cameras. Truly, he's a lost, scared boy, who just wants to feel secure and loved at all times. 

"You won't let go of me? For real?" Sakura lifts his head and peers up into Hyde's globular eyes as if the plead is done in his own two eyes. He appears as if Hyde's answer would either crush him or ease him as if the glimmer of the sun to cold flesh.

"Never." Hyde states simply. They're both turned away from everyone, tucked into a corner where one loveseat meets another, so nobody can so much as witness the confession or eavesdrop. So it's not breaking news to their friends when Sakura lets a tear slip from his almond eyes. It's at this moment that Hyde realizes just how gorgeous his boyfriend really is when he's vulnerable. His thick finger slides a fresh tear away from Sakura's sunken cheek. 

"I sing passionately because I don't want to let you go," Hyde notes. "When I sing those stupid I love you's like that--"

"They drive me crazy."

"When I sing those with that much ferocity, it's because I love you and it's nothing like anything I have ever experienced. I guess I never really thought about it, but these songs are about you, and you might feel a little thrown off.."

"I don't mind, but I don't want you to resent me at the same time. I don't want those lyrics to start hypnotizing you and surfacing those abandoned emotions again."

Hyde puckers his lips and delivers a wet kiss straight to Sakura's in attempt to hush him up. But the raven haired man doesn't hesitate to deepen the kiss, his bony, left hand pulling Hyde's bright red head to his face and tilts his chin up to better meet his caress for the last time tonight. 

Christmas Eve is a bit of a blur. They'd gotten up— awoken by their neighbors who noisily nuisanced them by blasting Christmas music on the other side of the wall, took a joint shower, and mostly stared blankly at the blinding tree they’d decorated earlier in the month. The day goes by at an unfathomable pace that seems a bit too rapid for Hyde. He mostly sat at the window and watched the flurry of snowflakes adhere to the glass— Sakura’d done him a solid and made hot chocolate, which was too watery, but the gesture was nonetheless appreciated. 

“This is weird.” 

Sakura’s in a daze, it's as if the world is moving around him and he’s still. If he wasn’t completely sure, he’d be under the impression that he’s high. But this is maybe a bit cathartic, a wave of an unfamiliar sensation has been coursing over him for the majority of the day. Hyde sits next to him, belly stretched out and large in a sweater that fits perfectly now, but would normally be oversized. He looks worn out, but a glow still manages to radiate from him. He’s been having mild contractions every now and then, and the helplessness that they won’t be leaving him until tomorrow morning seems to depress him.

“What is?” The singer shoves his hands in the pockets of the grey jacket and lets out a sigh. When Sakura doesn’t respond within a few seconds, he looks up at him. But Sakura’s thoughts are piled thick and high, he’s not sure if the urge inside of himself is to scream or hurl, either way, he’s never been so entrenched with apprehensiveness.

He clears his throat, refusing to meet Hyde’s gaze as an attempt to maintain his composure. “Just, we’re going to be parents tomorrow, that’s really..strange.” He pushes himself deep into the suede couch cushion before he assuredly nods in Hyde’s direction, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than prepared, it’s just that..today is the last day it’ll be just us. That’s bizarre. We’ll be someone’s parents.”

Hyde sticks his foot beneath his right slipper and swings his left foot to get it off before crossing his short legs beneath himself. when finally settled, he places Sakura’s hands over his stomach, adorning with his own shortly after. “I think it’s special. Because you know, we’re not ordinary beings, so he’s not ordinary. I think life will be better with him, we’re gaining something that’s extends beyond our freedom as a couple.”

“Ah—! Must you always be a poet?” Sakura groans in jest, and normally he'd push Hyde's shoulder, but anything today seems to trigger excruciating pain in Hyde's body. He keeps his hands placed over Hyde’s stomach, but his expression reads as annoyed with Hyde’s perpetually philosophical psyche.

Hyde’s eyes go wide, “What? It’s true!”

“I know,” Sakura softens his expression, careful of Hyde when he pulls him close to his side. “It just freaks me out. I can barely take care of myself, I dunno how this kid is going to turn out. You know, me and you, but especially you— are kind of crazy.”

“That just means he’ll be an interesting person, I guess.” Hyde proffers with a hand running through his bangs without a single snag. “Whatever happens, happens. The worst thing you could do is maybe tape his diaper with duck tape or something. Or forget to pack him something in his lunch. But parenting, if I could take a wild guess, is about trial and error. Nobody’s perfect, you know.”

“We certainly won’t be.” 

“And it's better to think that way, right? And besides, it's been the two of us for so long, it won’t hurt to have someone else join our company.”

He watches the somewhat disquieted and uptight Sakura trade his qualms for taciturn, and here he tries to make out what could be exasperating the drummer to the extent of him ending the dialogue. 

“What do you wanna do? Wanna make cookies or something? Keep your mind off of it?”

Sakura breaks his contemplation with a half grin, “No, don’t worry about me. I’m just being the anxious dad, I guess it wasn’t a stereotype after all.”

“Hmm.” Hyde extends his left leg and swings it around to seat himself on Sakura’s lap, lacing his arms around his neck and over the couch cushion once he’s there. “Anything you want, I’ll do it. Just to make you feel better..” He raises a brow suggestively, though his expression wears otherwise, he seems to be deadly serious.

“Whoa, from cookies to ass, can’t say I was expecting that.” 

Hyde shrugs, “Anything to keep your mind off of what’s stressing you out.”

“It's the inevitable, Hide. I just have to adjust. No need for a BJ or anything like that. But if you’re giving out an early Christmas gift, I’m willing.”

“D’you wanna watch a movie? I think we have Home Alone, if you wanna..” Hyde hoists himself up, nearly tumbling over when he gets to his feet.

Sakura catches him with a smirk that easily reads as surprised. “No, you sit down, I’ll find it. Don’t stand up at all today, if you can avoid it.” Gripping Hyde’s hand and settling him back down on the couch, he voyages in their TV stand drawer for the cassette. He takes intermittent turns back to make sure Hyde is indeed still frozen in his position.

“I’m being a good boy! You don’t have to keep looking at me..” Hyde assures with a flick of his wrist, and part of Sakura’s vigilant gandering is birthed from the fact that he looks like a painting. What with the length of his body stretched out across the cushions, and the cherubic, gently sculpted face sitting atop his palm. His cherry-stained hair sweeps across the wrist that’s holding him up on the arm of the couch. He’s just beautiful. Simply that.

“Ah--!” Sakura finally retrieves the tape and holds it up with his teeth covering his bottom lip. “Got it. See, if you’d gotten it for me, it would’ve taken hours.”

“Would not.. Besides, you’re the one who looked moments away from crying, I wanted to be the one to get it.”

Sakura stumbles to his feet once sliding the tape into the VCR, “I’m a big boy. Just a big boy who’s a bit worried about some things..”

“And you’re beautiful when you’re vulnerable, by the way.” Hyde calls out, his words hugging Sakura’s tenderly. Sakura just lunges for the couch and grabs Hyde’s face to award him noisy, nearly mocking kisses in reply. He pulls back and presses a loud, comedic smooch to Hyde’s belly, prompting him to begin laughing.

“You’re so stupid. Sit with me and watch this."

Time stretches until it’s around eight, and between Hyde having to pee every ten minutes on the dot, and his seemingly persistent hunger pangs, they’d both decide on ordering pizza and revving up the sequel after finishing the first movie. 

“Quit hogging the pizza, man. You’re such a little fatass!” Sakura complains as the heat from the pizza nearly scorches Hyde’s tongue from hasty indulgence. He mutters nary a word, but instead decides on bumping Sakura back into a corner with his belly, and a smile creeps up as he stretches the cheese from the crust with his teeth.

“Keep it up, and you’re gonna be in this corner all night.”

“Ganging up on me already, are you two?” Sakura raises a brow, then takes a moment to ponder over a petty revenge. His eyes waver to the camera that sits on the countertop, beseeching to be used. He’d put in a brand new tape for tomorrow, presuming that either he, or a family member would record the baby’s first moments, but he supposes one last hazing hurrah will do the trick of pissing Hyde off.

He weasels his way out of Hyde’s pin, and stealthily grabs a slice and the camera while Hyde scavenges the fridge for something to wash all this grease down with. He coughs, masking the chime of the camera as he turns it on, then points it directly at his victim.

“This is just a reminder that Takarai Hideto indeed could eat an elephant in one sitting while pregnant. Not that we all didn’t know beforehand. In fact--”

It takes Hyde a moment to turn around and realize exactly what this narration is for, and in no time, his expressionless face becomes the primary subject to the camera frame. He closes the fridge with his head turned, and laments. 

“Will you cut it out? You and the staff are about to get assaulted if you put a camera in my face one more time..”

“In fact-- you actually cut me off, by the way. In fact, how many cakes have you burned through in the last month? Was it two...threeeeeeee...fourrrrrr…?” 

Hyde opts for another slice, neglecting his boyfriend’s playful hazing, “I feel like we should’ve gotten more sausage, there’s too much pepperoni. Salty.”  His fingers flock absentmindedly to rub his side, and he allows the camera to capture his reaction to the newly and beautifully garlic sauced slice. “Uun, actually, this piece is perfection.”

“He’s not answering my question, but I’m pretty sure he’s eaten at least three cakes in the past few weeks. I don’t know what’s wrong with my son.”

“You’re saying that as if he won’t be watching this someday. You even referred to me as ‘Hideto’.”

“Okay? Is that not your name?”

“Not to him, it’s not.”

“Oh yeah?” Sakura steps forward to retrieve a slice that Hyde looks rather remorseful he didn’t get to take. “And what’s he gonna call you then?” His voice audibly smirks for him, ultimately guiding Hyde to jut his lips up in bashfulness.

“Mama.”

“Whaaaaaaat?” Sakura facetiously chides, “You’re gonna let the kid call you mama? Have you no shame?”

“If you’re papa, isn’t it only fair that he calls me mama? I honestly don’t know, for all we know, he could very well call me tou-chan. But mama and papa have a better ring to it. I’m a poet, you know.”

“You’re also a pain in my ass.” Sakura slings the camera to his side for a moment as he pushes Hyde gently out the way of the fridge with his hip. “Shit, I really don’t want a Coke. Do we not have shit else?”

“You didn’t go grocery shopping.”

“Yeah, but when Michiko came, did she not bring anything else? No tea, juice, anything?”

“Just meat, extra formula, and some chips. I didn’t see drinks on the list, so she probably didn’t bother.”

“Formula. Tch.” Sakura sucks his teeth and holds the camera against his shoulder and directly down to Hyde. “D’you see how spoiled you’re gearing up to be, flower? I couldn’t get anything to drink besides soda, and you get your formula.”  He grumbles this, but his smile is stretched far and wide like a meadow, and its audible.

“What, because I wrote down extra formula?” Hyde tosses his hair and feeds Sakura a bite from behind the camera. “He’s not spoiled, you’re spoiled.”

“You’re spoiled, he probably gets it from you.” He stands back, allowing the camera to now capture Hyde’s entire body. “Just look at him, everybody wants him! We go places, people want to give him free shit. Not me, him!” His nasally, blunt voice forces out with an intonation that would lead you to believe he’s envious.

Hyde simply blinks. He is beautifully cradled in the viewfinder, with his slender shoulders, and the way his waist tenderly nestles his belly in the middle. His face is soaked with a blinding glow and..marinara sauce, and somehow the red in his hair brings out his features, like those giant, globular brown eyes, that look at Sakura like he’s gone mad 24/7. 

“What? You know it's true..and he’ll know that. I think it’s impossible to be your child and not be aware you’re everyone’s favourite.”

“You sound jealous.” He jeers, “You know you’re gonna marry me next year, right?” Hyde professes, tongue-in-cheek. 

“Look at yourself. Look down. That’s my child inside of you, definitely not jealous. As for the ring, eh, don’t hold your breath, you couldn’t handle being a Sakurazawa.”

Hyde juts his lips up in a pout and begins to slowly chase Sakura around in a circle before slapping him on the arm, “But the baby can?”

“I know he’s strong! He distracts you anyway he can, makes you crave the most outlandish food combinations, makes you hate me, then cling to me, and gives you the worst heartburn I think a doctor has ever seen.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Did you just pick the camera up to tease me, or what?” He dusts off the crumbs from his jacket and sits on the barstool in front of Sakura’s feet. 

“No.” Sakura shrugs. “This is just the last time I’ll be taping you while you’ve got him in there, I wondered if you had any parting words.”

“Don’t make it seem so tragic, jeez..”

“You know what I mean, don’t be difficult.”

“Hmm…” Hyde’s jaw tilts downward, and he spreads his hands on his belly. “I suppose..I think it’s been a good year, and I don’t think I expected you to come this year, either. I thought Yachan would propose to me, but.. I guess not. And apparently I should hold my breath on that.”

“Yep, you should.”

“In all seriousness, I think I needed this. We..needed this. For reasons I’m not so sure either of us will ever disclose to anyone or even you, flower. But you’re exactly what we needed. As you can see, we’re still stupid kids..stupid kids about to have a kid. And your dad’s been taping me for months, as if I don’t have cameras in my face at work as is.”

“Important to document times like this, you know we’re not doing this again.”

“You don’t know that..”

“I do, you’ve looked like you’re over it since, I dunno, September.”

“Another person’s been in my body for several months, you’d want to put the little thing on eviction notice too, I’m sure!” Hyde assures with a newly manicured brow anchored to his forehead. 

Sakura ignores him, fingers anxiously scampering to scavenge the zoom button on the control pad. His eyes fall to Hyde’s midsection, and the camera follows. “I think the real star of this year is him, he changed everything.”

“Un, because initially, we were anxious about how things would work out, but ultimately, we were supported. And everyone really wants to see you. Fans, I mean. And they never will, but its kind of touching that they’re so anxious for your arrival.. they want to see us happy, I believe.”

"Do you have any highlights from the year that you wanna share with him?"

Hyde tilts his head in thought, then peers back at the lens of the camera. "Everything was a highlight. Pregnancy is so weird. You'll wake up, you're all swollen and covered in sweat, or you had one of the worst nightmares you've ever had. You'll spend a week addicted to sausage, gag at it the next. I think it's an inherently cathartic experience, and I'm glad I got to experience it. I'm really grateful I was able to put a song out about you, flower. I think you'll like it. And I think you'll be proud of papa because he worked so hard for you to come. So, I'll sign off with that. Because I have to pee now."

Sakura's eyes trace the slow waddle from the kitchen to the bathroom, and only when Hyde's behind a closed door does he quickly retreat into a corner of the kitchen in confidence to place his own thoughts on camera. "I don't know what you're going to be like. I have a feeling you'll probably look like your mom and have my insane wits, which.. thank God, he can be a little dimwitted at times. But, I do know one thing for sure, you changed the entire trajectory of my life without even being here. You're going to be special, flower. I mean, you already are...but, you're going to be special just in the way you were able to transform my being by just the thought of you. I know you'll roll your eyes at this twenty years from now, but you can never say your old man doesn't love you. Signing off, little man. I love you."

They wake up early Christmas morning. Neither of them were successful in their attempts to fall into slumber, just the dim light casting on their faces, and their breath against each other between them while they’d whispered comfort to one another. They’d placed their hands on each others’ cheeks in hopes of providing consolation— there was no facade, they couldn’t front their uneasiness. So here they are, it’s around seven in the morning. Both are meticulously double-checking their lists and Sakura’s been loading the car with the baby and Hyde’s bags, unpacking and packing things they don’t need and putting items they’d forgotten in. 

“Yasunori.” Hyde’s face is blank, his hands sit on his lap while he sits on the kitchen barstool watching Sakura attempt to walk out the apartment for the upteenth time. Sakura’s face begins to register as frantic, even his hair has somehow slipped from the grips of his ponytail holder. 

“What?”

“I think we have everything we need, we need to go.” Hyde announces as he studies Sakura’s disposition— for some reason he can’t seem to identify it, he’s never seen him so frazzled before, this is worlds away from the forever blasé him, who gives nothing a care and wears the badge of nonchalance curtly. 

The drummer stands, frigid fingers washed red as they’re mangled in the mess of keys in his hand. His nose brashly exhales as a result of the pacing he’s done in the past half hour, and anyone would be assured that he’s sweltering, considering he’s donning a black bubble coat and a long shirt beneath. He’s assuming the position of causing Hyde distress what with how he’s being so adamant about their effects. What more could they need, much less leave behind? Clothes and some important documents, nothing other than toiletries, but even those can be provided by the facility. 

“I’m just trying to be thorough.”

“I know.” Hyde nods dismissively, “I’m just extremely tired and we need to be there by eight.” His voice is on the edge of huskiness, buried in a fatigue that transcends beyond just the lack of sleep from last night until this morning. He raises an arm to hoist himself up by assistance of the counter, and stands up straight. He aches all over, supposing that this how the body responds to carrying a fully developed baby. He knits his brows wistfully, not sure of what’s ahead of him and allows for his eyes to do the pleading for him, he needs relief, especially considering he’s being burdened by tight pain every couple of minutes. 

Sakura aids him to the car, making sure he’s buckled in, and Hyde allows, he’s far too exhausted to even lift a finger. His eyes pardon themselves from being open and he falls into slumber once Sakura closes the door to lock up their apartment. 

Sakura's not in pain, but internal hysteria might be the perfect description for his disposition. As a given, Hyde and the baby have been his ultimate predilection the entire time leading up to these anticipated moments, but he can’t help but fall into disquiet. He rests his head on the door of the apartment, the cold murmuring on his ears before he fiercely pulls his knitted cap over his head to administer them warmth.

He sucks a breath in, basking in this moment of solitude. Something inside of him whispers a blanket of forethought into his psyche— he’s had time to carp over this, but as of right now, the future is inevitable, and all he can do is face it. He’s waited for this moment, but indecipherably can’t wrap his head around him sufficing enough to be a father, beyond that, constantly having struggled with being worthy of being alive. No—he’s fought too hard, against the temporary felicity that substances provided for him, so he could evade those feelings of inferiority. He lifts his head and turns back to walk towards the car, still quenched with thoughts of doubt.

When they arrive at the hospital, Hyde’s wide awake, only allowed the luxury of ten minutes before shooting pain sprang up his spine and he began whimpering for the next twenty minutes to their destination. A waify nurse seats him in a wheelchair while Sakura stammers over his words at reception. Hyde's worn and weathered, holding onto his belongings in his arms, clutching at the canvas fabric of the baby’s bag when the pain cascades across his body and occasionally spewing swears under his breath.

The preparation is vexing, especially for Sakura, who is anguished by the spectacle of nurses manning their stations, one shoving a needle in Hyde’s back to numb him from his ribcage down. Sakura's been inquired if he wants to wear scrubs, and he doesn’t decline, instead asks for them to put them aside for the time being. Their parents arrived around the time Hyde got his IV and epidural, and Mrs. Takarai fervently insisted she join his side. Hyde, still recovering from the injections, frantically shooed her off once she came to the realization that it would be robbing them of a monumental moment with her being in company. Everything that partakes in this frenzy is starting to wear on Sakura, he’s woozy.

“You okay?” Hyde interrogates nearly breathlessly. His wide eyes peer attentively at the man who looks to be flushed the color of a Granny Smith. 

"Yeah.." Sakura replies with almost an indistinguishable tone of annoyance, "Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"Nothing," Hyde's eyes fall, "You just look green, that's all."

Sakura combats his nausea with a look to the floor, only ushering a wave of exacerbated nausea to expel into his stomach as it looks to bob and weave in his vision. "I don't know. I think it's 'cause I didn't eat anything before we headed out..my problem, I'll be fine."

The doctor darts into the room in a manner that would guide one to become under the awareness that the birth of this child is almost as unimportant as a hypochondriac's routine visit. His eyes overlook every station and he curtly eyes the singer and drummer with confusion as if they are wasting his time. Ambiguity lends uncertainty to his expression beneath his mask, but his voice speaks otherwise.

"Hello!" He bows to the couple. "Ah, normal cesarean, should be no more than half an hour, an hour tops. There's nothing to worry about, everything looks good, baby should be out and ready to experience his first Christmas in no time." His eyes fold into crescents against his crow's feet, and he comes to comfortingly squeeze at Hyde's shoulder as if he's his own child. "No pain, we've got you numbed up pretty well. You'll feel a bit of pulling, but nothing uncomfortable. In the event that you experience unforeseen discomfort, please let the anesthesiologist know."

Hyde nods, his mouth slightly faltered in its position as his eyes flicker to the middle aged woman to his left at a monitor. His eyes shift back to Sakura, who by now is sweating bullets, the doctor's words swirl in his mind as if a flurry, echoing and panning from one ear to another until he's overcome with discomfort and dashes out the room to heave into a heavy-duty trashcan in the corridor.

Pull yourself together, Sakurazawa.. He thinks, wiping his mouth off, panting above the plastic liner. He gulps, closing his eyes to compose himself before he returns to Hyde's side back in the operating room.

"You okay?"

"Nerves." Sakura ultimately gives in against his disposition, "It'll be okay, just.. this is a lot. More than I was expecting, at least.. Don't mind me, how are you?"

"I'm nervous.. but, what can I do? He's coming either way. It's better to just sit with these emotions, I know we'll look back on it one day and laugh. And he'll probably always want to know about this moment, and how nervous we were, and how his dad was sweating rivers before he popped out."

It's just like Hyde to slice open a tense moment with his own offering of solace, this moment is no exception. Against his own apprehension, he winks at the drummer, only yearning for a touch of his calloused hands to deliver relief in a suffocating moment of foreboding. Sakura follows the connectedness of their spirit and what he feels is a thought being transmitted between the both of them, to share a moment of tenderness before their son arrives, and he presses his lips against the older's head for just a moment, whispering something that leaves Hyde washed with an overwhelming sense of repose.

It takes half an hour for the procedure, a little more than 28 minutes when the doctor pulls out a tiny, squirmy baby from behind the divider. Sakura's eyes block out any useless background characters that would divert his attention from the screaming child. Tears prick at his eyes, a smile wears itself proudly on his thin lips, and his hand squeezes Hyde's shoulder before his feet carry him to the doctor's vicinity to grab ahold of the offered clamps and cuts the baby's cord. It is as if his feet and hands move faster than his mind can keep up with. He hears nothing, sees nothing but the cries of his son and the tiny hands flailing around in confusion of this new world, these new sensations around him.

Hyde's eyes go soft at the sight of his soulmate's unceasing smile, a smile that he's not ever seen prior to this moment. A look that will only appear once in their lifetime together. Coupled with the beauty of his child's resounding voice, that he's in competition with him in terms of their ability to pierce through the loudest decibel with their perfect pitch. His heart skips at the relief and the moment by itself -- that he's finally got his little flower.

"Hide.." Sakura retreats back to his side, his gaze in no way averted from the baby as he's administered different tests by the nurses and whines loudly at being cleaned up. "He's.." He sharply inhales in attempt to catch his breath, "He's so perfect.. holy shit, this is fucking insane."

"He sounds perfect."

"Oh, man.." Sakura places the round face into his hands and kisses the other, "You did it.. you did it.. I'm so.. I'm so proud of you." And it's not lost on Hyde how adrenaline seems to stalk undecidedly through the other in a way that's not been seen before. He's vibrating. "Thank you.."

"It's such a cliché, but we did it.. I couldn't of done it without you, Yachan, remember that." He places another peck to the lips. "I'm just glad he's okay. I'll be honest, I was worried about complications, but..."

"Six pounds, eight ounces!"

"Oh, he's so tiny.." Hyde cuts himself off in fondness. "Did he look tiny?"

"He did.. he's just like you. Little arms and legs, he doesn't even look real. I thought I was going to collapse when I saw how tiny he was."

They banter about for a few moments about what Sakura saw in his momentary glimpse of their newborn child, with the moment cut prematurely as Hyde's finished getting his stitches and is transferred to the bed he'll be staying in for the next few days. Sakura's gaze splits between the nurses wrapping his son in a blanket, and Hyde drowsily being adjusted on the suite bed. They announce they have a few more tests to run, leaving the couple to tear away from their child's first moments to sit in a futuristic looking premium suite, receiving a briefing on how to adjust the bed, but they couldn't truly be assed about it, who gives a shit about a remote controlled bed when there's their child in the other room who they haven't formally met? Ten minutes turns into twenty, then thirty, then thirty-five...

"Where is he..." Hyde mumbles between the sheets of misery. Sakura's hand laces itself in Hyde's, he himself is guilty of growing impatient at the stagnant arrival of the nurse and their bundle of joy. For the drummer, the scene of the bloody baby replays in his mind, what a squirmy little thing, his whines echo in his mind, and for the first time in his life, he never wants to let go of those whines. Having been a roadie and been in a band, he's never quite heard music that could size up to his son's first use of his vocal cords. A sight so beautiful, the tiniest, most helpless creature that depends on him for now, right before his eyes. He's not sure how he's going to handle seeing his little unscrunched face.

"He'll be here soon, they said they had to run some tests, remember.."

Silence breaks over the room, pouring into the crevices of the intermittent sounds coming from down the hall, Hyde clings to hope that the sound of heel to floor is indeed the human responsible for carrying his little one to meet him. He gnaws on his lower lip, fidgeting with the comforter above his lap. "I know, but they're taking forever, just about..."

Sakura tilts his head and allows his gaze to lock onto Hyde's beautiful expression. It truly is the look of a parent longing for their anticipated child, it looks as if part of himself is lost. Besides the way his wide, curious eyes adhere themselves to the glossy wooden door,  he's got this impossibly bright glow-- during pregnancy it was damn near blinding, but for now, its like a haze, sitting above his excited body.

The minutes stretch into what feels like an eternity when the door finally clicks open. It is as if the both of them block out the nurse's stocky visage, never mind the cloying noise of her cooing at the baby. Hyde so desperately wants to press fast forward to the moment she finally rests him in his arms. Sakura's agitated with her lethargic steps, as if she's to be aware that they've been waiting half an hour to finally meet their son, let alone nine entire months.

"And who do I give this precious angel to?" Her eyes rush between the couple, stunned like a dear in the headlights at how beautiful they both are, no wonder their baby's beautiful.

Hyde molds his mouth to announce that he wants to be the first, but shoots Sakura an unsure glance. "Do you wanna hold him first?" His eyes watch intensely for a decline, Hyde's admittedly stingy.

"I think you should. " Sakura firmly nods, pushing his opinion deeply onto Hyde as if a weight, and the nurse expertly places the little bundle in Hyde's arms with a grin in Sakura's direction, then departs in a way that would make you think she entered with a quickness.

Finally, their eyes get to capture the most beautiful face they've ever seen. Hyde sits, stunned, and Sakura's eyes sparkle with iridescent tears that threaten to fall at a single bat of an eye.

They follow the contours of his little face, the way he's like nothing they've ever seen before. He can only be described as stunning, like a little work of art that's framed within the confides of Hyde's arms. He's been sculpted to perfection, with the most incredible, pouty lips that Sakura's ever seen. Hyde's eyes are far too occupied with the fact that his little nose belongs entirely to Sakura, while the rest of him echoes his own features. Hyde releases the baby's head from the blanket that covers it, revealing the most beautiful shade of hair, fully covering his entire head. 

"Wow.." Hyde blinks in his usual increments of six per second. "He doesn't look real.. he's beautiful." His eyes well up a bit, infatuated with how the baby's lips remain ajar while he's sleeping. His eyes go wide when the baby decides on squirming a little in his arms.

"He's so tiny.." Sakura swallows away an uncomfortable burning sensation in the left side of his throat, that customarily arrives moments before he cries. His hands are a bit sweaty, and he wipes them off before reaching to take the little hand balled up beside the baby's slumbering face into his own.

"Oh my god." Hyde's voice births a verbalization to his surprise. "I'm finally holding him, he's.. he's finally here." His voice cracks, abrupt to how it usually flows out of his vocal cords like still and steady river. His eyes meet Sakura's between his epiphany.

Sakura's eyes fall onto the porcelain complexion, in complete, inexplicable adoration of the beautiful humans before him. Instead of accompanying Hyde's eyes for a moment longer, he robs the child of personal space and places a kiss above his forehead. Hyde can tell that Sakura's crossed the border of the initial shock, and is just out of words. But a lonely kiss to his head isn't enough,  he spreads on a few more, breaking away momentarily to seize a moment's gaze at the doll-like child that rests heavenly in Hyde's arms.

"He really is an angel. Reiya, you are an angel." Sakura releases the child's name for the first time, and as if the child can sense the discern the profoundness of that, reveals his eyes for the first time after a few attempts and adjusting to the new world around him.

"Oh!" Hyde's neck is craned to see over Sakura' head, "His eyes are..amber."

Sakura floats back into the pillows for a moment, then shoots Hyde a glance with a tone to his voice that cannot be discerned as playful or genuinely puzzled. "Who's baby is this?"

"Why are you ruining your little moment with him to ask such a stupid question?"

"His eyes are amber and his hair is brown. This is a White baby."

Hyde tucks annoyance to his face and holds the baby closer to himself, for now he's occupied with staring at the balloons and flowers that are on Sakura's side of the bed, sent by the company.

"How am I supposed to know why he looks like this? He's very clearly not White, he just happens to have some different colored features. I heard someone in our company's daughter has green eyes and brown hair, why can't he be different too?"

Sakura can tell this is eating away at their moment, a bit obscure considering he was just kissing the little bundle a few minutes ago.

"Besides," Hyde scoffs, finger tracing phantomly over the baby's nose. "Look at his nose, he's a Sakurazawa."

"More Takarai than Sakurawaza, don't you think? He's like you with your hair dyed and some contacts."

"You wanted him to look like me, and now you're complaining." Hyde shrugs, then blushes when the baby stares up at him. "He's so much more beautiful than me, already. He's so beautiful, I can't believe he'll be prettier than this."

"I can't believe it myself.." Sakura trails off, his heart shattering at the thought that this doll-baby of a child is his. "Rei-chan.. my flower, you're finally here.. and you do not look real at all.." He delicately places his index and thumb over the tiny nose. "He has such a pretty nose."

"You do, don't you?" Hyde directs to the tiny baby, his eyes unwavering from every tiny action the child makes. "God, he's so beautiful.. I can tell he's going to be mistaken for a girl like me.."

"Don't wish that on him. He's a Sakurazawa."

"Don't project onto him, he's delicate. Just because he's your son doesn't mean that he's going to be this rugged, aggressive type. Not when I'm around."

Sakura's eyes pick up on the gentleness of the baby, that Hyde's probably correct in his declaration that the child will likely be little, sweet, and cute, just like him. "Maybe he'll be like you in that way, but in no world will anyone ever be able to push him around."

"And I agree. Not even a chance." Hyde's owlish eyes flicker up to Sakura's tenderly, "Here, your turn to hold him now, papa."

Something flashes through him at the moment Sakura realizes that to someone in this world, he is terminally known as "papa". His body can't sync up properly, its as if the baby's in his arms before he can comprehend it, but the weight of the tiny bundle somehow clutches his heart beneath his being, and his breath catches in his throat. He lifts his arms to peer closer at the baby, hoping that his grip is tight enough for the tiny boy to collect security, and tight enough for his own confidence that he won't slip from his arms.

"Hey, little flower." He leans to nuzzle his nose with the miniature version between his arms, "Nice to finally meet your pops, huh?" He pulls away to steal a gaze at the delicate features that he can already foresee he'll be addicted to looking at and showing off. "Jesus, he looks just like you."

"Don't you think he's prettier? I feel like I can already tell he's going to be a good ten times more beautiful."

"He definitely looks like he can do no wrong, you at least have a bit of a mischievous nature to your looks, but maybe he'll grow into that. Give him time, by three, he'll be trolling our stylists around and hiding their hot tools."

"If you have anything to do with it, he will."

"Mmm.. Sakurazawa Reiya. That's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Sakura peeks down at the exhausted singer, "Sakurazawa Hideto.. Takarai Hideto, yeah, no, his sounds way better, you're not getting the ring until my last name sounds good with your first."

"His name's always going to sound better with your last name, he has no other last name!"

"That's so sick." Sakura bites his bottom lip with a grin, "I have my very own son. This little dude has my last name." He lowers the bundle to take ahold of his tiny fingers. "He's got your looks and with my influence, he'll probably have my personality, that's so cool, he's gonna be cooler than the both of us."

"That is pretty cool to have a kid that's basically the both of us mixed into one person. He's definitely going to think he's too good for us by the time he hits thirteen."

"I'm okay with that." Sakura raises his brows, "We'll get him started on Nirvana and Coltrane as soon as we get home."

"D'you think we should go get our parents? I know my mom's having a conniption as we speak."

"Nah," Sakura gently sways from side to side, cooing at his son between their words, "We deserve a little family time, they'll understand."

"I guess so.." Hyde exhales with a tilt to his head to the obviously doting daddy, "I guess it's pretty obvious that you're over the moon. Figured you'd be, but it's actually adorable to see out of my imagination. You're a dad."

"Weirdo, imagining me cradling a baby in your free time?"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"Fucking with you." He runs a finger over the tiny cheek, "Of course I'm over the moon. He's just.. the most perfect little thing I've ever seen, and I get to keep him forever. My mind's overflowing with stuff I wanna teach him.. I think he should know how to play as many instruments as he can, and you can teach him how to draw."

"I was already planning on that. He might be able to teach me a thing or two, though. Creativity's so thick in his blood, he's probably primed to be a wunderkind."

"Man, all the kids at preschool are going to be so jealous of you, flower. You don't even know how to walk yet, and I'm jealous of how cool you're gonna be, little man."

"Papa's already proud of you, flower, look at that~" Hyde warmly calls out to the bundle. "I told you he's got a soft center. Like a kid when he gets all excited."

Sakura's in his own world, his mind races with the possibilities of all the things he's able to do with his son in the imminent future. All he had to do is hold him, and he's a little boy finding a new playmate, raking his brain for all the things he desires to share and do with the tiny boy. Hyde's never seen such a sparkle in the other's eyes, maybe when they first started dating, but nothing compares to the way his being shimmers with the beauty of being a new father, the proudness that amalgamates with his excitement, dancing together in harmony to create this aura of contentment and exaltation. If only Reiya knew how much he's ceaselessly created a joy in his father from the moment he found out about him, and the fact that one day he'll know, one day he'll have the chance of finding out the weight of his existence, and the moment at play is one of the most pivotal.

There's an antsy air in the lobby of the maternity ward. After the couple's parents had united with their grandchild and poured their hearts out, it was only natural that Tetsu and Ken pay their visits. Both antsy when they arrive into the lobby, looking each other up and down playfully as they tease each other about who gets to hold the baby first on account of who arrived first. Both promptly arrived at the same time, considering the clinic's policy won't allow visitors past a certain time.

“What are you just standing for? Cold feet, princess?” Ken twirls his neck, adhering a hand to the slight crick in it. He watches as Tetsu turns and throws him a hesitant, solicitous gaze. Both stare at each other for a moment before Ken presses a hand to the wall neighboring them. “What’s the issue? Gotta piss?” He narrows his unsure, almond eyes and gawks at the oddly bashful bassist. 

“We came empty handed… aren’t you supposed to bring like, bears or balloons or something when a baby’s born?”

Ken removes both his palm from the wall and the disgusted expression from his cheeky face. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah..” 

“Fuck it, they’ll understand.” Ken shrugs it off, rapping at the door once pushed past the cringing bassist, who feels dense for riding with Ken, because then at least, he would’ve been clear in mind and he could’ve possibly stopped by a convenience store to purchase at least a card and a stuffed toy. But alas, empty-handed and not sure what to expect.

The intermittent knock at the door prompts the wide-eyed singer to peer at it, and before he can let out a gentle "come in~", Sakura rushes to the door to peer suspiciously though the ever-so convenient peephole. Unamused, but surprisingly touched they made an effort to come on the baby’s birthday, rather than tomorrow, or next week, for that matter. But he’s aware these two losers have nothing better to do besides watch some Dr. Seuss Christmas movie and get uncivilizedly plastered.

"It's late. Go home.” The monotone voice crashes into their faces abruptly, mildly injuring their feelings simultaneously.

“It’s four. Just let us in! Congrats by the way..” Ken weeps, with a hand reaching itself to Sakura’s with playfully childish plead.

Sakura sizes them both up with an intimidating gape after digging in his pockets to fish out a pair of pitch-dark shades, a few lint balls spilling, dusting the floor beneath him. “Ah, I see you both come baring….nothing." 

Ken twists his feline-like lips with pressed brows against each other. “But daaaaaaad! We wanna see the little guy! We came all the way here, getting here was like, at least.. like, forty-five minutes to an hour. We could’ve gotten KFC or something and called it a night.”

“And you didn’t even bring KFC! You guys are the worst. No gifts for my son, no food for a ravenous new father..the audacity you both showed your faces here..God!” Sakura jestfully beats the wall Ken’s hand occupied moments ago. “Get out of my sight."

Tetsuya blinks a few times, "Oh wow, you are a dad now, huh? The youngest of the group..” Perhaps he assumes the position of sounding like an idiot, but his mission is to do the right thing by showing up, putting his apprehensions aside, and quietly dismissing himself to another location he’ll most likely just make up for the sake of rescue.

“Never underestimate the power of Sakura sperm!” Ken throws his chest out with a wink, but perhaps his comedic gesture is not as well received as he anticipated, given Tetsuya sends him an appalled look, and Sakura just looks at him with a twisted lip and a fastidious gander… doesn’t last long before he gives up and cracks up laughing with the guitarist.

“Just let us in.. we want to see how Hide and the baby are doing. Ken-chan’s been bugging me ever since we got the call.”

“Yeah! Is there some sort of bullshit password we’re not in on?” The lanky Ken definitively interrogates, ringlets of boyish intonation stitched into his already animated voice. He’s looking down at his best friend with angst, he’s been the giddiest one though all of this. Even just playful hazing fucks with him, he wants to see his best friends’ baby that badly.

Sakura narrows his eyes and opens the door wider, revealing the most heart-wrenching, angelic scene of the tiny Hyde cradling his even tinier baby in his arms, bangs gently sweeping across his eyes as he marvels at him. He tucks his bangs behind his ear after stealing a swig of water from jug on the counter. It’s as if nobody’s at the door, he’s so entangled in the universe that’s this baby. 

The rest of the ensemble stumble in without haste, as if Sakura would be so bold enough to close the door in their faces as his joking suggested. They can’t be completely certain, but they can give a close estimate that this is the most adorable scene they’ve witnessed in their twenty-odd years on this planet. 

Finally, Hyde tears his occupied eyes away from the little bundle cradled in his arms. It appears to pain him when he does, his smile falters slightly, but fails to fade completely. Perhaps he’s exhausted from having his parents and a few other close ones stop by, or the outright exhaustion from carrying another human whilst working under the public eye. He looks a bit dazed, as he always does, but now the distraction on his face holds the position of being so enthralled by the little being he’s brought into the world, as if his friends could possibly being inconveniencing him from further cherishing these fresh, fleeting moments with his angel for a child. 

“Hi!” Despite his appearance, his voice is full of gentle joy, maybe a bit sprinkled and dusted in drowsiness, but nonetheless, pleasant. 

“Congrats!” The pair cheer, unsure if their tone is too low, or far too resounding for the infant in Hyde’s arms. They hope it’s an appropriate degree, as an earful from the seemingly jolly black-haired papa is the last thing they need on their agendas today. Instead, Hyde grins from ear to ear—unreal as always, oh, how when he smiles, he simply sparkles. 

“Thank you~!” He gives a chuckle, unsure of what to do with this silence between them. For now, it’s only awkward on the strings section’s side, neither Ken or Tetsu have ever been in a suite where a baby’s just been born, only been extended the invitation to see their friends or families’ new additions once they’re home. Ken can’t contain himself, so he’s the first to rush over as swiftly as he can without appearing like a buffoon. Once he’s been slapped in the face by the foliage that is the foot-long rose arrangement in a vase Hyde’s mother brought along, he reaches out to invite Hyde into his widened, lean arms.

In collateral, Hyde leans into his touch, then grins tirelessly at his best friend. “Hey...I know how long you’ve been wanting to meet him, I swear, you’d think you were the pregnant one.” He pushes his feelings with a laugh towards the nutty Ken, who nuzzles his nose in Hyde’s gently-scented hair. 

“I do, I do.. but first, how are you feeling?” His question spotlights the short man busying himself with holding his child’s head to his chest. It is as if he’s preparing for the grand reveal…again. But so far, everyone’s been clutching their pearls when they see the baby, so he’s sure the third time’s a charm too, without doubt. 

“I don’t feel anything, totally numb. They don’t lie about cesareans.. I can’t feel a thing, but I know I’ll probably be in agony all week, so I’m relishing in the pleasure of numbness right now. I’m pretty tired, but..” Hyde confesses. Sakura walks over with a wave to Tetsuya to follow to accompany him on the bench by Hyde’s bed. Together their eyes busily dart around at the flowers and balloons, stuffed animals jammed into another corner that carries a chair. Somehow, the thought that bringing a gift wasn’t all that convenient for the couple after all, slips into his mind.

“Was it scary at all? I know you said you were freaking out about it.. I remember you made me watch that tape and everything with you..” Tetsuya shudders, thinking back to a very pregnant (and strangely that day, bossy) Hyde, who insisted that while Tetsu retouched his red hair, he watch a tape on C-sections with him to prepare his mind for the procedure, ultimately grossing Tetsu out to the point he retched on the shag rug that had to be disposed.

“When we checked in, I think I was in so much pain from the contractions, that I was more focused on just getting everything done. But this guy..” Hyde nods in Sakura’s direction teasingly.

“No!” Ken’s jaw drops dramatically in fake-disbelief. “Not macho man himself! You mean to tell me he was losing his shit? Somebody owes me some money~” Ken mocks the furrow-browed Sakura, who cuts his eyes at him. They’d made a bet that if Sakura so much as even felt faint, that he’d owe him money, or at least a cheap meal at Saizeriya. 

“He was a mess, between yelling at the nurses, eating ice chips, and blowing chunks a few times, he was definitely the scared one. Without a doubt.”

“I wasn’t scared.” Sakura brashly responds, nearly immediately in pursuit of Hyde’s confession. “It was just nerves. Of course, it’s a real experience, I knew there would be a baby coming, but between the thought of me being someone’s father and Hide being cut open like that, my mind was swimming. But scared is the wrong word.”

“Sorry..” Hyde pouts with a slight stretch to Sakura's cheek. “Wrong word.” His eyes search for any sort of assurance from his otherwise frank boyfriend, and he’s met with a wink. 

“And your parents..did they come, then?” Tetsu raises his glance over to his straight faced, raven-haired drummer.

Sakura leans back, throwing his arms behind his head in support. “Yeah…oh yeah, they came in together, actually. His parents came up here earlier this morning. My parents drove down shortly after them.”

“Shit, wasn’t that the first time they’d met each other? How’d that go?”

“Nah..” Hyde retreats a stray hair back into his bangs. “They spent a week with us about maybe two or three weeks ago. We figured, it would be strange for both sets of grandparents to not at least be a little acquainted. Our moms stayed in touch, I guess they’ve been talking every day. They’re on first-name basis now.. which is pretty quick, right? I guess we take after them in that regard.”

“Man, that’s insane..” Tetsu scratches his chin. “And so.. how did they react? What was that like..?”

Hyde proffers a short arm to hoist himself more upward with caution, “My mom really wanted to be in here when he was born, and I think she was really hurt she couldn’t be, but.. I think she ultimately understood how we wanted it to be intimate for us both, and she said something about how I’m right, nobody but my father was in the room when I was born, anyway. So..” His eyes flutter habitually. 

“Un, un.."

“Yachan’s mom and mine were the first ones itching to hold him, and they both like, fully sobbed. I’ve never seen tears that big in my life..!” He earns a chuckle for his comedic embroidery. “They were seriously in love, they had like, a rolodex of nicknames for him— oh, and get this— my dad cried.”

“What?! Seriously? I don’t think I have ever seen such a stern man in my life.” Ken confesses, as he’s had the dare he say, pleasure, of making the acquaintance of the more intimidating appearing version of Hyde. He seldom smiles, let alone dares to speak unless spoken to, with belligerence seeded deeply into each of his nouns, adjectives, and verbs. It’s a shock he coddles his son the way he does. 

“That guy was full-on red. My dad cried, but not like that. I guess maybe he felt like he had a new accomplishment or something. He was saying stuff about how if Hide didn’t procreate, their family would stop at him, so he’s happy that with the baby, his legacy will continue.”

“Aw..” Hyde feels a few tears tugging at the waterline of his eyes, but he decides to sniff them away. “My dad.. he truly can be softie at times, but this was.. unexpected. And he actually hugged Yachan, and for a very long time…I think we were all worried he had a knife or something and it was all one big joke.”

Tetsuya stifles a laugh, not sure what the cadence of Hyde’s voice infers for a response. “And this is the same guy who threatened your life, basically.. well, he’s certainly come full circle.”

“Eh, I can’t really blame him. As soon as I held the baby, I kind of got his frustration. You have this small being who depends on you in nearly ever aspect, and your sole purpose at first is to protect them with everything in you, and of course he’s going to grow up, but deeply on the inside, that’s never really going to falter, that fierce protectiveness, I mean. So…yeah, when some asshole with little to no manners decides to knock him up, you’d wanna kick his ass, perhaps even kill him.”

The room fills hotly with the absence of sound, suffocating the drummer who can’t help but feel he’s perhaps said too much, and was far too candid for his liking around friends. Despite the fact he’s always been keen on being unapologetically unequivocal, the feeling of nausea rushes over him in regret. Maybe it’s the sneers he receives from not one, but two of the members, doubling up the discomfort. He can’t read what their expressions mean, even if they are tell-tale if you’ve ever seen such an expression.

“You’re so cute. I could bite you.” Ken confides in a saccharine tone, creating pinching motions with his slim fingers. “Well, anyway, you sit and be cute over there. I wanna see the baby.”

Hyde looks up, as if a bit clueless on what his next action is to be. A lightbulb appears over his head, and he points to the sink across the room. “Sorry, I just need you guys to wash your hands first, and then you can touch him and hold him if you’d like.”

Tetsuya raises from the wooden bench and heads to wash up, “What, are you insinuating we’re both filthy?”

“That’s exactly what I’m insinuating.” Hyde plays back. Once the mandatory minute of cleaning their hands is complete, Ken wastes no time and settles back to his original spot. He bounces on his heels, eager to see the face he’s really only seen in blurry, grayscale images when Hyde would tell him without much thought, that he’d had an appointment that week.

Out of convenience for his friends’ line of vision, he switches the baby to his other arm, being sure he’s not too close to his chest to obstruct his friends’ view. Ken turns to wave Tetsu down, whose pace seems to gait at an abated speed. Between the gentle “I know, I know.. your stupid uncles are insisting to see you, though..” coming from Hyde, and the gentle, pouty noises from his child, the guitarist fills the gaps with a gentle gasp, Tetsu’s gaze latches onto Hyde’s position as caregiver. It’s strange to see him in a demeanor he’s never witnessed before, let alone any of them. But it comes natural, his voice is remarkably creamy to the point he could splendidly and joyfully wade within it, no doubt the baby finds it to be placid, too.

“Ta-da!” Hyde moves the blanket from the baby’s face, “This is my best work, right here!” He catches them right on time when they begin to push an amalgam of emotions on their faces once locked on the baby’s little face. Hyde gently takes the baby’s wrist and waves it sporadically, an undoubtable proud expression pulled onto his features, beaming. The baby’s round eyes meet theirs for nearly a few seconds before peering up at Hyde, as if somehow he’s to be punished from looking elsewhere. 

Ken doesn’t waste time, he’s within reach where he can take the baby’s hand between swatting away pestering tears, that whisper loudly to the room that he’s overcome by this moment, perhaps it’s to be the most profound moment he’ll experience until he marries one day. His hand is a tad shaky, per his normal child-like nuances, he nurses his hand as if to assure it. Once he believes his nerves are improved, meaning a second later, he takes the little hand into his own. 

“Junior, I see you got here on time. I thought I would have to wait or something. Thanks for not letting me down... I guess we haven’t formally met, I’m your uncle Ken.” His teeth flash, pressing against his tanned cheeks with charm, no doubt Hyde and the smoking emo guy are smitten by his interaction with their child. The baby’s eyes peer more curiously at the lanky guy slightly out of his clearer line of vision, perhaps he can sense some familiarity in the tone and pitch of the guitarist’s unmistakable voice. 

“This guy’s the worst, but you should be nice to him, he really wanted to meet you. He even planned that corny speech probably..months in advance.” Sakura remarks with an appreciative tone toward the terminal part of his sentence.

“Hey..” Ken narrows his eyes, but doesn’t hesitate to reach in Hyde’s direction for the baby. “Can I?”

Hyde moves without having to mutter a word, tenderly passing the child along into his friend’s arms. “Yeah, just make sure his head’s supported— you got it.. ‘kay.. there.”

Tetsuya’s still in his mind, soaking all this in. Without a doubt, the baby is one of a kind beautiful even this early on, with his doll-like proportions and features, amber eyes, and gentle strands of brown on his head. He’s not surprised in the slightest. Sakura and Hyde are some, if not the most visually stunning beings he’s come across. For their child to be so little and beautiful, is no surprise to anyone. For now, he’s quiet, mirroring Ken in every verb; when he sits on the bed, he follows and fixates his stare on the little bundle. He tries to swat away any intrusive thoughts about his longing for this day to be his and Hyde’s, contradicting thoughts thundering against them, that perhaps being happy for his friends should suffice enough, but not for his idealistic mind.

“This is the coolest baby I’ve ever seen, no lie. He doesn’t even need contacts and hair dye. Huh.." Ken scoffs, "Yachan,”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think you had anything to do with this kid. Whatsoever.” Ken laughs to himself, glazing over the delicate, beautiful features in his arms. He notes that the child does in fact, though quite unnoticeable without further inspection, for now, has a different shaped nose than Hyde, after all.

“You’re not kidding..” Tetsuya contemplates aloud. “You copied yourself, Hide.” 

Hyde’s proud of his exceptional DNA, so impenetrable to the point where Sakura’s features proved to be intercepted completely. Another thing Mr. Takarai poked his chest out about, but for the sake of the Sakurazawas, his wife insisted that he’ll grow into his features, it’s not like Hyde looked like his father at first, anyway. But still, she noted how remarkably strong the child's features were already.

“And he’s quiet too, he doesn’t seem to cry at all.. What am I gonna do with two Hides? The first one annoys me to death.”

“Well, this one, you don’t know, he could want to be just like you.. and be tall and probably want to dress like you. I mean, he is a Sakurazawa, that’s something like a trophy in my book.” Ken suggests, giving the baby his finger. He’s shocked when he opens it up and grips it without hesitation. 

Hyde gives Sakura a small grin, nodding with this odd, strangely nurturing look in his soft eyes. “I told you, whenever you’re around, he’s really happy. I think he really will take after you. I’m kind of boring.”

Sakura shrugs, cracking a few knuckles with this devilish grin tucked into his lips. “If he does take after me, we’re totally ganging up on you, all the time.”

“For what!? It’s not like I’m gonna tell him no.. he’s too cute to be refused. And don’t try to intimidate him for influence either..” Hyde imagines a small boy with giant, doe eyes, and a stubbled, smoking, Sakura, pointing and laughing at him, or pulling juvenile pranks for the hell of it. He hopes by the time their child is old enough, he’ll in fact, cling to him, and find Sakura slightly too brash to want to side with all the time. For now, he seems to enjoy them both, most comforted when they’re beside each other while talking to him.

“Where did he get this cool hair and eyes combo? I’m so jealous, dyeing roots is such a hassle.” He quickly turns to the parents, then back at the baby as if he can reply, " Share your secrets."

Hyde appears clueless, “I actually don’t know. I asked my mother, she said her grandmother had brown hair, and Yachan’s father has amber eyes, so it was probably passed down..it shocked me at first.”

“I thought he cheated on me with some white guy.” Sakura’s eyes land on his boyfriend, who rolls his eyes at the very suggestion that he’d ever want to seek pleasure with another man besides him, what would he have to gain, even? Certainly, carrying a one night stand’s child in his belly for nine months while his career was beginning to skyrocket wouldn’t fly. Even in jest, Hyde isn’t amused. 

“No, as cute as he is, he definitely has this very blank stare, courtesy of you, Yasunori..” 

“I know he’s my kid! Sorry my humor doesn’t land..”

“You’re so cute when you’re mad, darling.” Ken teases, a smile teases his lips when the baby reaches out to grab his nose. “These things help you smell stuff. You’ll probably be smelling your parents’ cigarettes forever.”

Sakura winces. “I really hope he doesn’t smell like them, maybe I’ll make an effort to smoke outside.”

“Smoking..” Hyde would normally salivate at the thought of a pack of menthols to take the edge off a bit on a normal day, but nine months without them, and he’s certain he can do without. When pregnant, the smell of them made him gag and shudder, he’d make Sakura scrub with a loofah to get the smell out his skin and hair when he’d indulge. “I don’t even miss it.. you guys smoke enough for the four of us, anyway.”

“You’re better than us, always have been.”

“So..” Tetsu clears his throat and peers back at his friends. “Did you register his name already, or are you gonna wait?”

“Yeah, I can’t call him 'Junior’ forever..”

“Un, we went ahead and registered his name.. it’s Reiya. But we’re gonna call him Rei.” Hyde reveals with a grin teasing his lips. He and Sakura would sporadically suggest names to each other for a few months before coincidentally, they both said the same name. There was no real thought behind it, they initially wanted to name him just Rei, but Sakura eventually insisted he wanted “ya” at the end of his name, so they settled on a common ground— to just call him Rei despite his legal name. 

“Rei-chan..” Ken lets another enormous smile peek from his mouth. “I can’t take how adorable he is. I’m totally teaching him how to play guitar. He’ll be the next Ken Kitamura.” The guitarist appears so fond of his friends’ baby, it is as if there’s this magnetic pull keeping his gaze on the child in his arms. Sakura folds his arms and smirks to himself. After all, if it wasn’t for Ken, he wouldn’t of gained a better perspective on becoming a father. It is not like Ken had any prior knowledge of parenting, but he did shape Sakura’s mind to imbibe in more wholesome thoughts about the future, and how it will be rewarding for him, how his kid will probably be his biggest fan— a cheerleader, and all the more reason to persevere onward. 

“He is adorable, thank you. I grew him myself.” Hyde states matter of factly, earning a laugh from Tetsu, who for the most part, has partaken in silence, just observation. All he can manage to do for now is inspect his surroundings. The sheer amount of balloons and teddy bears, bouquets— is nothing short of alarming, and there’s more to come, even. Even if he’s resented this experience, he’s aware that this is a milestone for his friends, and they have brought into the world and unbelievably beautiful child. It would be a bit spiteful if he didn’t even feel an ounce of felicitation for them. 

“Ken-chan.” Tetsu blinks, “Remember you said you were gonna buy Yachan that dinner set from that cafeteria downstairs?” He reminds in hopes the man will be receptive to the bone he’s throwing. “He’s probably ravenous, why don’t you take him down to get it?” He loses his gaze to Ken to place on Hyde, “And get Hide something, too. You can eat, right?”

Hyde shrugs, nodding. “I had something to eat not too long ago, but I suppose a snack is fine.” He holds his arms out to Ken, who is rambling and ranting underneath his breath, averse to the idea of letting go of the baby, but could eat right now, actually. 

When they finally leave the bassist, singer, and infant’s company, Tetsu sits closer to Hyde on the bed, a bit abashed in his expression. His voice is dim at first, but he clears his throat and applies a bit of bass to it. “You must be exhausted. I didn’t mean to intrude, I just wanted to come congratulate you guys. I know I’ve been a piece of work these past couple of months, that wasn’t cool.” His lip juts to the side, as if he’s able to perceive the foul aftertaste of his actions. 

“Oh..” Hyde lets a deep sigh release from his lungs and throat. “I… I guess I understand how you could feel the way you felt. I don’t blame you at all. I understand the animosity you had towards Yasunori’s lack of compliance at the beginning of the year, and I guess the pregnancy only heightened your frustration… and I know it’s not easy when someone you love has decided to settle down with someone else, even if its your friend..” He dissolves the absurdity of Tetsu’s actions with his gentle voice, making sure to keep his eyes elsewhere to not intimidate him. His arms gently tuck his child to his chest, allowing for the baby to grab onto his hospital gown at his convenience.

“Still.” Tetsu’s gaze falls on the baby once again, he can't help but be smitten-- Rei is truly a mini Hyde, with his eyes as big as the moon, lips pouty, and he's got that Sakurazawa signature hair; thick and silky, that sits pretty on his little perfect head. The perfect amalgam of his best friends. And to make matters worse, Rei won't stop looking at him. Makes him feel guilty, and he wishes Hyde hadn't given him those giant eyes that peer at you like you're crazy 24/7. “It wasn’t fair of me to scrutinize you, regardless of how I felt. I wasn’t sure how to deal with my own emotions, and.. I shouldn’t of allowed them to interfere with my relationship with you. I seriously feel like shit. I’m so sorry, Hide.”

Hyde resigns himself from any hostility he felt he needed to imprison from being so hurt by his best friend. There were nights his comments weighed heavy on his mind, but he realizes there were good and bad days with him. Where he felt comfortable to show up, he did. He accommodated Hyde to the best of his ability, and saw to it to scold anyone who dared to intrude on his experience with this. It’s not like he ignored him, his perception was perhaps a bit distorted and blurred, not able to see outside of his own emotions, and that’s not something Hyde is willing to hold him to forever. Not when they’re best friends, and not when his grievances were valid.

“I forgive you. It wouldn’t be like me to hold it to you. Let’s just move past this, okay? I don’t want you to dwell on it, and I’m not going to light into you or anything like that. I don’t want this to hinder our friendship. Let’s move on.” Hyde decides with a squeeze to his friend’s arm, convincing Tetsu to turn and look him in the eyes. He’s overcome, venturing on holding his arms out to envelope his friend into a hug. It’s above them by now, and a sense of relief releases into the four walls. The tension has broken, and Tetsu can finally unwind and share this moment with his friend.

“Ah, right..Rei-chan, this is my best friend." Hyde gently whispers, loud enough for Tetsu to break into a million pieces. "This is your uncle Tetsuya. Isn't he cute?" He takes the tiny child's hand and waves it a few times at the shell-shocked leader, who can't help but raise his own hand and wave back at the infant who looks like he's about to bust out and sing "Lies and Truth”. And frankly, he wouldn't be surprised if he did, the amount of times he heard it in the womb.

"Here, hold him." Hyde helps the shy Tetsu take hold of his child, radiating a glow, having grown a smile on his face once the baby is completely settled into his arms. Unexpectedly, Tetsu begins to turn the waterworks on. His eyes blush scarlet, his nose begins to moisten up, voice trembling, a bit alarming to the other man, who seeks proper explanation.

"You didn't ruin my group at all. I'm so sorry.. you're so precious. I’m so sorry.. I really am.” Tetsu inhales deeply, trying to gain composure. Hyde’s fond, it is as if watching the jealous older child dote over his new sibling or something, but he knows this moment holds deeper value than that. 

Hyde holds his friend’s head to his own, “He definitely forgives you.. we both do.. don’t cry, Techan.” He swipes a finger across the bassist’s cheek, “Shh, stop crying. I’m gonna have to deal with this for the next, God knows how long.. can’t have it from you, too.”

“Sorry.. I’m such a mess. But seriously, I’m so happy for you. You’re an angel if I have ever met one, Hide. He’s so lucky to have you as his parent..and Yachan too, as crazy as he is. You two are gonna be amazing parents to him. He’ll never be bored..”

“I hope we are.. I’m just so glad he’s here. I really didn’t expect to have a baby this year, but I guess the most unexpected events call for the most favorable lessons.” He shrugs, one of his stubby hands gently holding his son’s fluffy head. “He’s so freaking cute.. don’t tell Yachan, but I’m glad he looks like me.”

Tetsuya delivers a chuckle. “Of course you are, so vain and beautiful you are. I can just see it now, you toting him around with a proud look of satisfaction, calling him your mini-me or something stupid like that."

“He is my mini-me!” Hyde protests with a pretty grin teasing his cheeks. 

“I know, I know…wow, you really have grown before my eyes, Hide-chan. I mean, when we met, I was just some stupid twenty-year old with hearts in his eyes, preying with the fire of debauchery under myself..and you were this.. stuck-up, pretty boy with a fondness of Jack Daniels and lace gloves.”

“Stuck up? I was stuck up? Seriously?”

“Not the point..” Tetsuya waves it off. “I’ve known you for five years, and you’ve not only advanced your career, but your life, too. Not everyone can say that, I believe. As much as you both get on my nerves, I’m happy you and Yasunori are settling down. It’s good that this happened, now you'll both further your lives and proceed with more responsibility, and I’m grateful. ‘Cause I really do care about you guys.” 

“Thank you. I really appreciate you so much. Thank you for trying to protect me.. I never overlook your efforts. You seriously are my best friend."

Ken and Sakura return after about ten minutes, with takeout bags and laughter spilling from their mouths. Their laughter falters a little when they realize Hyde and Tetsuya are lovingly cuddled up and pointing out different features on the baby's face together, negating the last few months of torture Tetsuya's put Hyde through. The frostiness of the air that initially pricked at their dynamic fades into nothing as if it was never there to begin with. They share a meal together, as what feels like family again, with occasional cooing and epiphanies that 2/4 of them are parents now.

"Yachan, you've already counted his toes five times, give it a rest." Hyde giggles before Sakura begins adhering the baby closer to himself. By now, friends and family have left their side, and it's just them... This is their new normal, the three of them. Sakura's unsurprisingly been marveling at his tiny son for the past few hours. After dinner, he'd cradled him and looked around at the cityscape outside. For the past few minutes, he's busied himself with making sure their kid only has ten toes.

"You can never be too sure." Sakura suggests in seriousness, defensively. The baby boy yawns in his arms, and his face falls. As if he doesn't want him to drift into slumber yet, because that'll promise a new day-- a day where his son is older than the day before. Naturally, he wants him to stay little forever.

"Let me see little Haido one more time before you hog him for too long."

"He's so cool. I wish I had brown hair. He's going to be some sort of movie star."

"Mhm.." Hyde waits for the taller man to meet his side, and when he does, he reaches his arms slightly from his body to take the little bundle. The baby, though church-mouse quiet, is wide eyed and fully awake. His giant eyes stare gently at the figure in his blurry vision, comforted by the way Hyde's words wrap around him, likened to the blanket he's swaddled in. "He's just perfect... we created him, Yachan, and he's perfect." 

The trials that were faced in order for him to be settled as if an angel on a cloud into Hyde's arms was no walk in the park. But Sakura, perhaps, has spent the better part of his day today with his son, simply because he's his savior. This small being that for now, just defecates and cries for food, is his savior. He's the one who awakened something in his father to strive to getting clean and progressing his life forward. He's so wonderfully loved. Hyde has never quite seen his boyfriend so.... cheery. Listening to him using a baby voice and talking through stuffed animals is so heartbreakingly and unbearably adorable.

"That's what keeps freaking me out!" Sakura exclaims enthusiastically. "He's my son.. our son. We've been together three years and now we have a son together." 

Just then, the baby yawns once again, no doubt nine months living inside of the operatic, melancholic-voiced Hyde, wore him, attempting to get shut-eye from the moment voices became audible from inside. Ken blasting music, or just Hyde's mother asking him questions he won't be able to answer 'til he's at least three.

"Time flies.." Hyde shrugs. "But un, you’re right, it's unbelievable that he's both of ours. Though, I don't think he wanted to copy your face. He's so purely me." They share a laugh, but Sakura's praying to the high heavens that eventually he gains a feature or two from him. But on the other hand, having a mini-Hyde who most likely will shadow him and want to learn how to drum, brings nothing but sheer joy to himself.

"It's okay. Maybe he'll just spite you and be my height."

"Mmm, tall Haido. He's going to be so unstoppable, and he knows all of our songs, too. He's gonna put me out of work." Hyde flashes his adorable teeth while the baby begins the process of falling asleep, from the first stage of lidding.

"Un.." Sakura gives a quiet chuckle, but leans closer to Hyde as he rests his chin on his shoulder to watch the baby fall asleep. He tucks his finger in the baby's palm. "He's so beautiful, so soft and pretty. I can tell he'll be androgynous."

"He definitely will. Reiya, you are so perfect. I think you're just going to become more beautiful as the days go by.." Hyde is certain that since he's given life so such a beautiful baby, his son is destined to become more beautiful in the forthcoming, and he's proud. Everyone was right, their baby would be an angel out and in. 

Rei closes his eyes, his lips part as his wispy lashes sweep his cheeks in slumber. He cuddles more into his mother, as his heartbeat has acted as a lullaby for the past ten months. Sakura decides to lean down and place a kiss to the baby's gentle head of light brown hair. Their precious doll baby. They're in disbelief this little doll is all theirs. But they deserve him. 

"Thank you for finally coming to see us.." Hyde quietly muses, in utter shock at how absolutely stunning the child is as he's sleeping. But Sakura's always raved that Hyde is gorgeous when he sleeps, so it must be hereditary. "You are so quiet and sweet..you're gonna make me a better person. I'm glad you're here now.."

The feeling that maybe things shouldn't be said out of feeling a little bit corny doesn't cross Sakura's mind in this moment, for this little human is his son, his own flesh and blood. And Hyde-- oh, he's putting a ring on that finger. They're a family, it's just them, he can say whatever he wants.

"You made me into a better man..one day I'll tell you how, but I'm so glad you're here. Look at you, you're so angelic, I know you're an angel. And the way you look at me, I'm so blessed to have you. I'll protect you if it's the last thing I do.. Sakurazawa Reiya, you wear that name with pride."

Hyde's lip trembles, and before he knows it, he's swatting away tears. Pregnancy wasn't easy, but he knows Sakura clearly suffered worse during the experience. Having their baby here must feel like being reborn. Of course he's been so cheery and kind for the remainder of the day. 

"He loves you so much. He always has. I think he even made me love you more, Yasunori." He looks at him with glassy eyes. "We both adore you and love you.”

"And I adore and love you both too, more than I could ever verbalize." He crashes his lips into Hyde's, hoping to lull his heightened emotions in collateral of relief, holding onto the tiny body between his arms, careful as to not cause discomfort to the tiny bundle. Once he's parted their lips, he imparts a couple dozen "thank you"s to the singer, though his words could never carry the weight of how much he means them.

When Hyde's finally off to slumber, the nurse pops in quietly, presumably because she notices a lack of light in the room and inquires if Sakura wants the baby in the nursery, or if he'd rather keep him in there. Seems like the most abstruse question he's ever heard, but he decides against himself to fill with the urge to be a smartass and assures her he's fine with the baby.

Once the door closes, he quietly pads over to stare at the baby in the bassinet by Hyde's side. His eyes flicker from the sleeping beauty under the sheets, to the tinier sleeping beauty, who is just too adorable for words. Hyde was right, this baby isn't wrinkly or weird looking, and in fact, he does have eyebrows. He's beautiful.

Careful, the drummer lifts his son into his arms and begins making his way to the window, where the moonlight hovers over anyone who decides to come into its line of vision. For now, that subject is Rei. Sakura's eyes never leave the bundle, and he's growing fond at how the baby fits in his arms like a puzzle. A perfect fit.

His eyes are full of love at the squirming bundle against his chest, enchanted by his every move, so in awe that this was the squirmy little thing growing inside the love of his life for nine months. He holds his head and moves him to in front of himself, robbing himself of the moonlight to cast on the little boy, who seems to be awake now. His enormous eyes meet Sakura's, causing his heart to wrench at how delicate and precious he is.

"Hey.." He whispers to the bundle, in love with how his eyes are glowing. "Wow, you are so beautiful.. already.." He muses, watching Reiya's gentle movements with his face. He's so serene, but his lips open and close a lot, and his eyes never seem to stop moving. Sakura gently leans forward to kiss his little head. "I've waited so long to meet you.. so, so, long.. I've always wanted a child, but I never imagined they'd look like you. Hide was right, you're an angel."

The baby stares deeply into Sakura, then up at the night sky outside the window. Sakura's eyes follow. "I met Hide on a night similar to this one.. I remember thinking he was so little.. and so beautiful.. and that's what I'm thinking about you right now, too, oddly. I can tell you're going to look like him your whole life, too. Lucky me, but you'll probably be like me in personality.." He shrugs and takes a tiny hand from the blanket. "You're so little. I mean, so tiny. Just like him. Beautiful and little. I don't know why I always imagined my child to be bald and kind of ugly, like an old man.. but you're... delicate. I'm almost afraid to touch you."

"I don't know what you're gonna be like, or if I'm even good enough to be your dad, but I'm gonna try. I don't think I'd even be here without you, so thank you..." He trails off and allows his emotions to well up, plunging them out of the deep crevices of his heart and mind. "Thank you, Reiya.." He holds the baby closer to himself, his lip twitches and wobbles, and a cheek rests against his son's head as tenderly as he can manage. "Thank you for saving me.... my own flesh and blood.. I can't believe something I made saved me.. thank you.."

“Well, who’s gonna be the one to sit in the back with him?”

The young couple are stood in front of Sakura's admittedly worn car, albeit Hyde has a new one, but in his defense, he was more shaken by the fact that he was driving Hyde to give birth to their child rather than caught up in the state of a vehicle. If it ain’t broke don’t fuss over it, he probably thought. Sakura’s got the baby’s carrier clutched in his hand clad with an eyebrow raised to Hyde. 

“…Seriously? It's not like I was gonna let you drive after you've been cut open like that.” He somewhat jeers with a shrug to his shoulders. With a scoff, he opens the door to the car and proceeds to attach the carrier to the carseat attachment he spent hours upon hours tirelessly mastering putting together. 

"Well.. I thought you might wanna spend some time with him or something...” Hyde wants to catch his words before they leave his lips, as he feels they’re a bit… ditzy sounding. 

"I can do that at home. It won't take long..” Sakura conveys with an inattentive tone, more preoccupied with making sure he can get everything settled without waking up the infant. Hyde stares wide-eyed in adoration, basking in the sight of papa Sakura who is unfathomably gentle with their child. He appears determined, even in the task of just making sure all the parts are connected smoothly. When he’s finished, there’s a tell-tale look of satisfaction on his face, provided by a smirk.

He suddenly grabs for Hyde’s wrist and walks him to the other side where he escorts the strawberry-haired man into the backseat. “Thank you~” Hyde winks. Sakura’s been more than accommodating the past few days, he hasn’t even left his side, even with having to catch his Z’s on an uncomfortable daybed propped by the window of Hyde’s suite. Typically he’d be an irritable mess, but it seems the baby has lifted his spirits— in fact, it’s as if he transforms into another entity when he’s around the tiny human. Hyde claims that he possesses an alter-ego: Papa. This is due to him breaking character when someone outside of the baby gets on his nerves. Take his brother for an example, he snapped on him when he came to visit, but a few seconds later, thanks to Rei pulling his hair while in his arms, was a new character, casted in the show; My World Revolves Around My Tiny Son. 

They head off, the hospital’s not but a few exits away from the apartment. Hyde exhales deeply, relieved, recalling the hell of staying in there for a few days. From recovering from the procedure, to the nurses mooching and annoyingly (though adorable) greeting the baby with calling him a "mini rockstar" every day. The medicine and the Grand Central-esque ebb and flow of relatives and friends from all walks of life coming to meet the baby. At one point they’d regretted even telling anyone away from immediate family where he’d be born. With a hospital that notoriously private, they’re surprised the staff didn’t put them on notice for a visitor limit or something.

Hyde flocks his hand to his son’s tiny stomach in hopes of providing comfort. It’s strange how something so tiny and brand new could steal his face so easily and precisely. Hyde’s enamored, eager to write about this tiny life saver— whatever medium, more songs or just letters for him to read when he’s older, he’s captivated and full of adoration. It’s as if his child has taken his parents out of the darkest trenches with ease, they’re already wildly protective of him, daring anyone to rob them of their savior. 

The warmth from the winter sun is rewarded with the most minute smile tucked into the baby’s angelic face. He yawns, and Hyde begins to cling to his infancy, suddenly coming to realize he should relish in these precious, fleeting moments, as they are due to end too soon for his comfort. The baby opens his amber eyes with his cushiony lips parted when he gazes at the being across from him. 

“Hi..” Hyde whispers before leaning forward and pressing a few kisses to the tiny fists he picks up. “Look at you, sunshine.. you’re so beautiful, even when you’ve just woken up..” He expresses lovingly, every detail of the baby’s face causing his heart to flutter hastily. He’s unreal. Truly, Hyde had a few qualms, such a perfectionist to the point where he appeared to be carping over the way his baby would appear. His friends’ babies had come out with cone heads, or no eyebrows, even he himself came out with no hair. But somehow, thanks to the universe or some higher power, he was gifted a gorgeous, angelic prince for a child. 

“He’s up?” Sakura inquires with a glance to the rearview mirror. All he finds is Hyde carrying a face-cracking smile. The lines in his cheeks are indented deeply with the tiny hands raised to himself. 

“Yes he is~” Hyde coos. “Yachan, he’s just too adorable. I don’t think we’re gonna be able to scold him.”

Sakura smirks. “He’s gonna be so spoiled and entitled if we don’t…maybe we’ll leave all of that to your dad. You’re soft and cute, and he still scolded you. That guy doesn’t give a damn, clearly.”

A thin shiver travels down Hyde’s back as he recounts his father’s verbal lashings in his youth. His mother would caution him to pay his father no mind and that he was perfect in his demureness regardless. But often, Hyde pondered why he always was made to feel like a fuck-up for just being reserved and kind. That said, he was relieved to find his father coddling his son at the hospital. He cried, even. Mr. Takarai has enduringly been a strong-willed, macho kind of dude, his veins are practically coursing with impudence. Meeting his first grandchild acted as a test of his hostility, and turning on the baby voice and waterworks threw everyone for a loop.

“I don’t think he’ll be that way with Rei… he was so.. out of character with him."

Sakura recalls the look Hyde gave him when his father started crying. Clearly, he was not expecting that.

“Oh man, your old man was straight-up bawling..I think he thought we wouldn’t notice because his back was turned, but. When he turned on the baby voice, that sealed the deal. I guess he really isn’t gonna get scolded. Lucky little guy.”

Another smile tastes the cheeks and lips of Hyde briskly as he takes in the sight of the tiny being who hasn’t taken his eyes off of him. Hyde questions if it’s because his hair is so vivid and foreign to the natural colors surrounding him that the baby always stares deeply into him, or if he knows something Hyde doesn’t, or if he’s just keen on staring at his surroundings since all he saw during gestation was darkness. Either way, Hyde gifts him a kiss to his palms. “We’re the lucky ones..” He whispers.

When they arrive to their apartment’s parking garage, they waste no time getting into the building and to their door. Hyde feels off, blinking blankly as the feeling of not being winded from walking up stairs is now far foreign to him. He fidgets in his pockets and pulls out the jangling keys to inject them into the keyhole, the sound of the grooves releases a calm in him. To finally be home, and to be able kick back in privacy, away from the spotlight for a few months with the two most important people in his life. He slides his shoes off at the genkan almost giddily, eager to meet his mattress. Sakura kicks his shoes off and drops their bags on the leather bench beside the steps. After proceeding to place the carrier down, he gingerly lifts the baby and settles him on his shoulder, whispering something along the lines of, “This is where your crazy parents live. Not much of a home, but.”

In the bedroom, Hyde rips the comforter from the uppermost layer of the bed, mindful when he lowers himself down in result of not wanting to mess with his stitches. Sakura’s still whispering to Rei, it is as if he’s his confidante. There were times during the pregnancy when he’d playfully ask for the baby’s input to Hyde’s stomach, listening in and nodding seriously after a few seconds. Nice to know that in actuality, old habits do die hard. Moreover, it’s adorable. He sets himself on the bed, resting the baby on his chest right before he wraps an arm around Hyde, who adheres himself to his side. 

“Finally.”

“I know, right..”

“Away from everything now… I feel so free.” Hyde sighs out with a twist to his lips and a cock to his head. Sakura glances with a hand lifting to tentatively stroke his son’s back. 

“Tetsuya’s having a conniption as we speak.”

Hyde gives a weak chuckle partnered with a shrug. “Who cares.. he doesn’t have an angel of his own.”

“He’s such a cow, I can’t believe he was legitimately resentful toward an unborn baby. I guess that just goes to show you how.. insane he can be.”

The singer goes quiet, perhaps the apology from the leader has been on his mind the past couple of days, and he’d found out that before he departed the hospital that day, he’d sat with Sakura and apologized too. Spread thin with constant talks about Tetsuya, Hyde will be remiss if he allows any thoughts in that’ll erode at the importance of first moments they’re at home as a family of three.

“Mmm, whatever..” He places his hand over the baby’s back. “I’m just happy to be here with my little and big flower..you two are all that matter to me.” 

"Mmm."

"By the way, why do you keep hogging him?" Hyde's lips curl upward as he spreads a teasing smile to his face. Since his birth, Sakura's been holding their baby any chance he's gotten, so much so that the nurses didn't have to deliberate on who to hand him to during hourly check-ins. Hyde's complaining now, but only in jest, he's nearly obsessed with Sakura's infatuation with their little doll-face.

"He likes me. I keep wanting to call him Yachan."

Hyde bites his bottom lip, his teeth pierce his lips white for a moment while he contemplates. "Why would you want to call him that? We already have a Yachan, that's confusing."

"It makes sense..his name is Reiya.." Sakura suffocates his point against Hyde's, his eyes fall to the little boy on his chest, fingers stroking the fluffy strands of hair on his head. He's so in love, everything about his child is so soft and tender, from his powdery smooth skin, to his preciously carved features that somehow, miraculously, at such a vernal period of his life, are beautiful and dainty. He truly is a bonafide mini-Hyde, placid in the company of the black-haired drummer.

In the mornings at the hospital, he'd place a kiss to Hyde's head while he was still deep into slumber, and would take Rei to the window to watch his beautiful eyes glisten in the sunlight. Just close enough to where he could see them, but not damage the baby's developing eyesight. He's unbelievably the greatest gift.

"That doesn't make any sense! No more nicknames.. he has so many. Junior, angel, flower, and we won't even be calling him Reiya, anyway." Hyde's left hand comes to gently cradle the little warm head in his palm. "The point is, you're hogging him. I should get to cuddle sometimes."

"I was trying to be considerate! I thought you needed some rest after all the shit you've endured this year." There's a haziness in the room, it's full of warmth, perhaps from this precious new little family, and the draping of warmth from the central air unit, breezing out the frigidness  from outdoors. Sakura hesitantly releases the child from his chest, to Hyde, who breaks into a smile that could spread his lip line two inches wider.

"Flower!" Hyde nearly beams at the baby, who seems to be disinterested in anything but the process of falling asleep right now. Hyde smooths his fingertips over the baby's rounded cheeks. "He doesn't even look real.. we must be really beautiful for our DNA to work out like this.."

"My sister really thought he was a doll..he's like you, he's going to be told he's beautiful every day of his life.  My hope is he doesn't end up arrogant like his mom."

Hyde holds Rei to his chest, dropping a kiss to his head before scowling at his boyfriend. "I'm not conceited, Yachan. Just confident."

"Oh, is that what you're calling it now?"

"And he definitely didn't get all this beauty from me, you must've been a precious baby. I wasn't really cute until I was around two."

Rei whines, instantly cracking Sakura up. "I know, your mom won't shut up..."

"Your dad is even worse than me, flower. He smokes up a storm when he knows I hate it, and when I'm sleep, he takes nothing into consideration and closes doors, drawers, everything hard. He's the one you should be mad at."

"He spent like, two months listening to you sing 'Lies and Truth' every day.. from the inside, I know he doesn't like you. He's a Sakurazawa."

Hyde brushes him off, and bathes in the beauty of his little boy, who for now, looks up at him and grabs ahold of his lip. Hyde doesn't bother to remove it, instead, juts out his lips to kiss the little hand. He's experiencing this euphoric sensation that he could just about be doused in forever. A love that he's never experienced before, he wonders if this is how it feels to be complete.

Sakura wants to collapse at the tableau, his man is unworldly adorable, and he popped out a mini version of himself, here he is with two tiny people to love. He's drowning in the heavenly sight, his baby boy and his partner so lovingly staring at each other. Hyde looks as if he's going to burst, his cheeks sit high as he gives a face-splitting smile. Just then, while wrapped up in this reverie, Rei focuses on the blurry figure with the jet-black hair, boy his parents are a contrast.

"Hi.." Sakura chuckles at the sleepy baby, who intermittently lids and forces his eyes back open, fighting his urge to sleep. "You really have to stop being so cute.." He taps the baby's nose with his index finger, deeply amused by the baby crossing his eyes.

"See papa, my love?" Hyde's holding the baby koala-style, half of his face is pressed to the baby's head. "Isn't he so beautiful? He's mean, but he's always usually joking. He loves us very much, though. And we love him, don't we?"

Sakura replies with a grateful grin, not hesitating to squeeze Hyde's thigh in appreciation for his kind dialogue. His head tilts, peering up to Hyde from the baby's amber eyes to wink. His hand stops at Hyde's arm on the way up to give it a stroke, then takes the baby's hand into his own.

"And I'll never leave your side..or your mom's. You never will have to doubt anything.." They both are privy to the fact that Rei cannot comprehend a single thing they're saying for now, and somehow there's a subliminal message meant for Hyde instead, it still stands for Rei, but it is an assurance for Hyde under the mask of being addressed to the baby.

Hyde reaches to stroke Sakura's head, and he appears divinely caring when he does so. He possesses this warmth about him that wasn't there before Rei came along, now he's so naturally careful of his surroundings, perhaps in the near future he'll be scolding Sakura for not wearing socks around the house, or a jacket outside in the cold.

"I love you.. you know that. And you know I'll never leave your side. And even when Rei's tall and more talented than the both of us, he won't leave your side either.."

"I know, thank you." He can feel the baby's eyes still on him, and chuckles at the unwillingness to break his gaze. He's so intense, just like him. "And thank you for flower. Really, I couldn't of asked for a more perfect son.. he's perfect. And you know I don't think anything is perfect."

Hyde hums comfortingly beneath the final syllable of Sakura's words, "We both needed him. I'm actually extremely grateful we have him now. You two are my first loves, I believe."

"I concur." Sakura buries himself into the pillows against the backboard and envelopes Hyde's tiny shoulders into his embrace. Hyde holds Rei between them, supporting his head while their eyes trace his delicate features, he's so sleepy, giving out a yawn that sends his parents to fawn over him. The drummer bends his index and rubs it soothingly against the baby's cheek. Hyde begins to hum.

The sun plays hide and seek with the blinds, the light casts beneath them and provides a glow around all three of them, but adding a gentle highlight to the baby's little profile when he finally closes his eyes to rest at last. Hyde leans forward slightly to kiss the tiny forehead, whispering, 'sweet dreams, sleeping beauty..' to his little angel and sets him back in the safety of his arms.

Sakura leans down to kiss Hyde's lips. The warmth spreads down his body and cascades to his fingers that race against each other to caress Hyde's cheeks. He's ample with warmth, full of life, undeniably cathartic in this moment. Nothing to interrupt the peace and wholeness that lies between his arms. He is clear in mind, no longer entrenched with doubt, in the throws of the disease of addiction, but rather, sobered up by means of the savior that gently rests in his soulmate's arms. At this moment, they once and for all, complete.