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2025-02-11
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One Robin, two Robin, three...How many Robin are there?!

Summary:

"Batman," Wonder Woman was the first to recover from the surprise. "Who is your... ah... little companion?"

"Robin," he replied unperturbed, taking his usual seat next to Superman, who kept staring at him as if he were having a religious experience.

Green Lantern was the first to react, "Wait a moment! Wasn't Robin that blonde girl I saw when I had to pick up an alien criminal hiding in Gotham?"

"A blonde girl?" Green Arrow repeated. "Robin is a teenager. He's Speedy's best friend."

"I met Robin," Wonder Woman chimed in. "A sweet little boy. A big fan of mine, but he's not a teenager."

While the voices of the Lega became louder and louder, until Damian woke up completely, Batman groaned internally.

He didn't want to explain anything about his private affairs. Besides, there wasn't much to explain in the first place: he had told the truth. Just, not as everyone expected.

Chapter 1: How many Robins (kids) does Batman have?

Chapter Text

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone's eyes were fixed on Batman.


The man could not say that he was surprised. He was one of the founding members, and generally also one of the few who had any idea what he was doing.


It was logical that the other heroes would watch him when he walked into the boardroom, expecting him to sort out whatever mess was going on that week.


However, this time he suspected that most of the attention was not for him in the strict sense, but for the child who was with him, half asleep in his arms but with a frown that could be glimpsed even with the domino mask.


Being able to put it on him had been a nightmare, but in the end, with several videos of kittens and the promise of taking him to the zoo, he had succeeded in the enterprise.
He was never paranoid enough, and he had had to deal with too many bad variants of his colleagues to blindly trust them. 


"Batman," Wonder Woman was the first to recover from the surprise. "Who is your... ah... your little companion?"


"Robin," he replied unperturbed, taking his usual seat next to Superman, who kept staring at him as if he were having a religious experience.


Green Lantern was the first to react, "Wait a moment! Wasn't Robin that blonde girl I saw when I had to pick up an alien criminal hiding in Gotham?"


"A blonde girl?" Green Arrow repeated. "Robin is a teenager. He's Speedy's best friend."


"I met Robin," Wonder Woman chimed in. "A sweet little boy. A big fan of mine, but he's not a teenager."


While the voices of the heroes became louder and louder, until Damian woke up completely, Batman groaned internally.


He didn't want to explain anything about his private affairs. Besides, there wasn't much to explain in the first place: he had told the truth. Just, not as everyone expected.

It wasn't his fault that Dick had decided to share his name with all his siblings, and the children had been happy to accept it.  What was Batman supposed to do, say no to six children? Try to resist six pairs of puppy eyes, then we'll talk about it. 


So yes, there was more than one Robin. The situation confused no one in Gotham.  It had never crossed his mind that his colleagues could be stupid enough to do it. 
He should have.


"Okay, it looks like we're missing an important point," Green Lantern interrupted everyone else's chatter. "Where does this one come from?"
Batman growled. It was a personal matter, Jordan. Mind your own business.
Unfortunately, he couldn't say it. He had to give a polite answer that would keep the meeting going.

(A meeting that was organized at the last minute and which had forced him to take Damian with him. Alfred was at a medical check-up, Dick was with his friends, and the other children were at school. What, was he to do like the Drakes and leave his child alone to wait for him in an empty house? Not even in a million years.)

"I birthed him," was his answer, said in a monotonous, serious tone. As far as he was concerned, it was so. Ra's had played with Bruce's DNA and created Damian with an artificial uterus, in the hope of having a perfect heir.

The joke was on him, Talia was not about to be put aside and had sent Damian to him as a postal package. Ra's didn't take it well, but fuck him. 

This, instead of putting an end to the questions, unleashed further chaos. 

What did you do?
Who is the other parent?
Are you an alien? I know it!

Why was everyone so interested in other people's affairs? Batman rubbed his temples, while Superman, red as a tomato, asked him, "You... Um... Do you need a co-parent?"


"What?"


The other man's blush, if possible, became more intense, "Well... because... You know... If you need... I volunteer... yes, very..."


Batman snorted, "I've got six more, Superman. He's not the only one you should be co-parenting."


"Six more? Who permitted for Spocky to breed?!" Green Lantern burst out, and Batman had to control the urge to take a batarang and throw it at him. 
He didn't want to expose Damian to unprovoked violence so soon. 


"What, Jordan, jealous that I get more action than you?" provoked him, because yes, he was a brat and knew it.

 
"You..."


"Calm down, Hal. He didn't mean it."


"Oh no, I meant that."


"If it weren't for the baby, I would have already fucked your ass!"


"Like it could ever happen, Jordan."

During all that chaos, Superman was daydreaming. Seven children with Batman did not deter him. And if he could add someone else... he wouldn't have minded that much.

 

 

 

Chapter 2: Not quite a Robin, but a Superboy!

Chapter Text

 

 

 

If it were possible to die of shame, Clark would have already died and resurrected outside the farm door a few times. Or more, who could say?


The Bat-glare was so powerful. 


"Superman," the man growled and wow, why did his voice have to be so sexy? It must certainly have been illegal! It wasn't fair that it looked so good! Others would look ridiculous dressed as bats in front of an ordinary Kansas farm, but he managed to look scary and cool all the same. "Why was Robin kidnapped by one of your clones?"


"First of all, I wouldn't call Kon clone, it's quite derogatory and..."


"Superman," uh uh, they were on a fucking fine line, and even the strongest man in the world retreated just in the face of the righteous fury of an angry father. 
It was a miracle that Batman hadn't already pulled out the kryptonite. 


Meanwhile, Kon and the kidnapped Robin were playing behind Batman's back, and Clark had a near heart attack when he saw Kon lift the other child into the air and almost fall, only for the kid to laugh heartily and say again, again! this time higher.


It was to be expected that one of his best friend's sons would be a little... Um... special (fucking weirdo as Hal would say, but Hal was a dull man who didn't understand anything, at least his modest opinion. Although yes, in fact, Batman tended to be very eccentric).

Batman had not yet turned around, a sign that either he had not noticed anything, or he considered Superman responsible for everything.


Which was unfair. A 50% was Lex Luthor's fault.


"Superman..."


"Okay, look, I might have been a little harsh on Kon," he tried to defend himself, while occasionally making sure no one was accidentally killed. "During these two months, I haven't let him out much and..."


"You mean to tell me that you forced a nine-year-old child to stay indoors? Without any contact other than you and your mother?" and yes, said that way it was damn alarming.


He immediately tried to explain, "Kon had problems with his powers, and I didn't want him to have a crisis among other people. Now he already controls his flight better than I did at his age!"


 "He controls it so well that he ended up in Gotham," Batman reminded him with a hint of ill-contained rage. "Where he thought it was a good idea to take my son and take him with him."


"Um... he probably wanted a friend."


"He wanted a friend," Batman repeated, looking baffled. "He kidnapped a random person... that yes I admit that Robin shouldn't even have been out at that time, we talked about it but certain stalking habits die hard ..."


"Stalking habits?" 


Batman ignored him completely, "What makes him believe that the kidnapping is a basis for starting a friendship?"


"Um... I may have told him about our first meeting... you know, when I accidentally knocked you out and took you to the Fortress of Solitude... He knows we're friends and he thought that's how normal people make friends."


It was quite funny to think about it actually, too bad Batman didn't seem to think the same way.


"So I was right. It's your fault," Batman growled, and Clark swallowed uncomfortably. 


"It's not correct..."


"You are his role model. You refused to let him socialize with other children his age for fear of his lack of control, and the clone rebelled by looking for someone to befriend based on what you told him!"


"Said like that..."


"Be thankful that I don't kill, because otherwise..."


"Oh, stop arguing both of you," his mother's voice came through loud and clear. The woman came out from behind Clark, and even the Dark Knight of Gotham softened at the sight of her, "The children are fine. They already adore each other, like their fathers."


Robin and Kon got along perfectly, and when Clark freaked out to see the other younger child with Kon, Robin took care to say, "Well, it's not like I'm forced to do this."


Even if he would like to tell his mother to be careful about the words to be used. He didn't just adore Batman. He loved him with the burning passion of a hundred yellow suns, he wanted him so much that if he were exposed to red kryptonite now he wouldn't even notice it. 


They were feelings so intense that two children aged nine and eight could not have felt for sure. 


"It's kidnapping anyway, Martha," the hero of Gotham tried to say, but the woman immediately put him at will, "Your Robin followed him without making a fuss. It's obvious that he wants friends too, am I right?"


"He has friends..."


'Siblings don't count, my dear,' Ma said very patiently. "Such a brilliant kid, you have to be proud of him."


"I am," Batman said sincerely. 


"But it must not be easy to have a double identity at this age, and not to have someone to trust to let everyone know everything about themselves. Robin found it with Kon. There is no reason to be angry, but rather to be happy about their new friendship. Despite the certainly not traditional beginnings."


Batman let out a low snort, a sign that Martha Kent's words had hit the mark. The woman must have known it too, and with a kind smile, she invited him in, "Come on, I just finished cooking an apple pie. I'm sure you and your son will like it."


"Ah, actually I should bring Robin back to Gotham..." but there was no way to say no to Martha Kent, even if you were the terror of Gotham's criminals.


All Batman could do was surrender to his fate and be dragged to the kitchen by Martha, while Clark had to retrieve Kon and Robin who ended up stuck in a tree like two stray cats. 

 

(Maybe Clark can get help from his mother to extend the invitation to father and son even for the night, and take advantage of the classic there was only one bed...)