Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

            Nami would never have done it if she had been fully sober and rational. After all, when it came to romance and related activities, the navigator had a strong preference for women. But she hadn’t had a date in months, and it was at least a week to the next island so there was no prospect of changing that until then and…well, she was horny, OK? And then they’d gotten the newspaper with the story about Princess Vivi’s disappearance. Having to say goodbye to Vivi had been the hardest break-up of Nami’s life. Well, really the only real breakup; she hadn’t had enough time with anyone else for it to hurt like that! She hadn’t wanted to end it – they’d just concluded that potentially years apart with limited prospect even to write was unworkable - so the thought that something had happened to Vivi in her absence was like a dagger to the heart. So, now she was worried and sad too, which had made breaking open the lychee-flavored sake she’d bought in Wano seem like a great idea. Drinking alone was lonely, though. She couldn’t drink with Zoro, because he was being infuriatingly rational about the situation. Also, he’d probably drink all her sake and then have the gall to complain it was too sweet! And Robin didn’t really know how to do “drunken camaraderie”, plus…oh, it would be a bad idea to let down her guard around Robin right now! But Sanji…Sanji was equally inclined to act dramatic over Vivi and devoid of the common masculine shame over admitting to liking fruity drinks. So, clearly, offering to share her sake with him made sense.

           And, while she’d always been careful not to even hint at reciprocating his over-the-top flirting, in moderation the praise always did cheer her up. Plus, Sanji really wasn’t bad-looking. He had nice hair and none of the obvious muscles that she tended to find a turn-off in men, plus he bathed regularly (unlike the other guys on the crew, eww) and knew how to dress (usually). Especially after a bottle or two of sake, he was almost pretty. Actually, come to think of it, Sanji looked a lot like his sister…minus the pink hair and boobs, of course. And, damn, if they hadn’t been running around non-stop at the time, Nami would absolutely have risked poisoning to make out with Reiju! After one more bottle of sake, Nami found herself staring at the cook’s hands. They were long-fingered, strong but elegant. Agile, too, if his skill at fashioning all the impeccably decorated delicacies he regularly offered to the ladies on the crew was anything to go by.

          They’d been drinking in the library/map room, which is where Nami had stashed her rather expensive booze  - drawing admiration from the cook at her foresight in putting it in the last place “the mosshead” would look. She stood up and went to lock the door.

Sanji, pink-cheeked and more obviously tipsy (she and Zoro had always teased him for being a lightweight) looked confused. “Nami-swan? What are you doing?”

“Making sure we have some privacy.” She sat down again next to him and cupped his cheek in her hand. “You don’t mind, right, Sanji-kun?”

Sanji’s eyes lit  up, as she knew they would. “Of course not, my darling mellorine! Even though I’m not worthy, I’m so happy that mmmph!”

She shut him up with a kiss.

          He was a pretty good kisser, actually, when he managed to stop talking. Which wasn’t often.

“You are so beautiful, Nami-swan! Anyone would think you were a goddess come down from heaven,” he babbled, as she pulled off her shirt. “So beautiful, and smart, and brave. I don’t think I could ever deserve you, but I promise from this day forth to do everything I can to make you happy…”

“Oh my god, you can stop!” the navigator grunted, struggling with the buttons of the cook’s vest. “We’re already doing this; you don’t need to keep rizzing me up!”

Sanji blinked at her. “Oh. I’m sorry, Nami-san. I just want you to know that I know I’m the luckiest man on earth to get to be with you.”

Nami rubbed her brow. Her head was starting to hurt, and she wasn’t sure if it was the sake or…this. “What I mean is, you don’t have to talk like we’re getting married or something! We both know you’ll be saying the same thing to every girl at the next port, and that’s fine!”

The cook’s face fell so fast it practically crumpled. “What?” He sounded deeply hurt. “Nami-san, why would you say that?”

            Nami wasn’t so drunk she couldn’t see that she’d mis-stepped somewhere. She sat back and tried to figure out where. “Wait.” Her brow wrinkled. “Are you…are you actually in love with me and thought I was proposing or something? Even though we were just talking about how I’m in love with Vivi?”

Sanji crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously, as if he was the one already baring skin. “Of course I love you, Nami-san. I love all ladies, and you are a queen among them. I know I’m not your first choice. Why would I be? But if you chose me anyway, why would I not be happy? I just…I don’t know why you think that, if we were together, I’d disrespect you by, by cheating on you or flirting with other girls in front of your face…”

Wow, OK, THAT was a lot to unpack, and she was not in a state to do it properly. So, her brain latched on to the last statement. “Um. Because that’s what you do? You flirt with all the girls all the time! You ‘love all ladies’, like you said.”

The cook was looking increasingly miserable. “Yes, and I always will. But what kind of monster would accept a lady’s love and stomp all over it?!”

           Shit. Is that what I just did? Nami hurriedly pulled on her shirt as she tried to figure out how to backpedal without hurting Sanji worse than she clearly already had. “Oh, Sanji-kun. I’m really sorry. I wasn’t trying to lead you on or anything. I was just lonely and sad and looking for…for a friendly, one-time comfort sort of thing. And I thought it would be OK to approach you, because I didn’t think you wanted more than that.” I thought I could use you, and that you’d thank me for it, as usual. That realization made her stomach twist. After all, she’d known it would be a bad idea to get drunk with Robin when she felt like this; that she might do something that would ruin their friendship. Why hadn’t she realized it was possible to wound Sanji that way? “That was a mistake, and I’m sorry.”

           The cook nodded slowly, his shoulders still hunched. “It’s all right, Nami-san. I misunderstood too. I…could be that for you instead, if that’s what you need?”

“No!” She saw Sanji flinch and softened her voice. “No, that’s OK, Sanji-kun. You shouldn’t…” she paused, and recalibrated. “I would feel bad if I knew you were not doing this the way you wanted to. Casual isn’t fun if it isn’t casual for everyone, you know?”

The cook blinked away tears. “That’s very kind of you, Nami-san.”

No, it’s not. It’s just basic decency - that I forgot to make sure I was following. “Do you…do you want a hug, or would that make it worse?”

          Sanji teared up further, but he nodded. So, she pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and draped it around his shoulders before wrapping her arms around him. “There you are. Is that OK?”

“Yeah,” the cook replied, his voice somewhat wobbly. “Can…can I ask you something, Nami-san?”

“Sure.”

“Is that…” He swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing. “Is that why they never stay? They, they think I don’t want them to?”

Oh dear. “If by ‘they’ you mean girls you’ve been with, I can’t speak for them. It doesn’t help that we’re pirates; I’ve been moving around too much to make anything last, too. But…the over-the-top ladies-man act might say ‘here’s a guy just looking for a fun time’ to more than just me, yeah.”

“I see. And does the rest of the crew think that too?” Nami hesitated, and in that hesitation he read her answer. “Fuck.” Then he caught himself. “Oh, sorry, Nami-swan!”

“No, no, it’s OK. And it isn’t that bad. I mean, for one thing, I’m pretty sure Luffy doesn’t give enough of a crap about romance to give it a second thought one way or the other. And Zoro…” She shut her mouth abruptly. Damn it. Wrong person to bring up.

Sanji blanched. “What? Did the mosshead say something to you about it?!”

            It had been back on Water 7, during the post-Ennies Lobby party. Sanji had been running around cooking kebabs for half the town…and still managing to flirt with every girl who crossed his path.

“It’s weird, but kind of impressive,” Nami remarked to Zoro.

The swordsman grunted and poured another tankard of beer down his throat. “Dumbass.”

“Why does it bother you so much?” She raised an eyebrow. “Wish he’d flirt with YOU like that?”

Zoro glared at her. “Tch. No! It’s just painful to watch.”

“Why?”

The swordsman considered it for a moment. “You ever see those girls who want to be somebody’s wife SO BAD they throw themselves at every halfway eligible man in their path? And it’s just tragic because most people seeing that either think they’re easy and aren’t interested, or try to take advantage of them? Cook’s like that that, but in reverse. Hurts just as much to look at.”

          Nami’s eyebrows raised. “What? No way! He’s a total playboy!”

“If that’s true, then why’s he always going on about wanting to be somebody’s knight in shining armor or finding his princess and ROMANCE and shit?” Zoro took another drink and shrugged. “And anyway, even if he WAS just chasing tail, he’d have better luck if he calmed the fuck down. I mean, he can cook, he’s got that fancy accent a lotta girls swoon over…but he comes on so intense sometimes that it veers into creepy!”

“Yeah, THAT’S true,” Nami conceded.

“Self-inflicted wounds, I’m telling you.”

“You ever tell him that?”

Zoro snorted. “Yeah, right. Like he’d take romantic advice from ME!”

            Back in the present, Nami summarized this as: “Well, he said one time that he thought you clearly wanted serious romance but were shooting yourself in the foot with your approach. But he didn’t say anything because he didn’t think you’d listen if it was him saying it.”

Sanji groaned. “I’m going to kill him.”

“What, for understanding you, or for not telling you?”

“I…” The cook hesitated. “Just on general principles,” he grumbled.

Nami laughed. “Does that mean you’re feeling better?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I…have a lot to think about, I guess,” Sanji sighed.

Chapter Text

            Zoro had been watching the cook more closely than usual since they’d left Wano. Of course he had.

Tch. ‘Kill me if I’m not myself.’ What kind of shitty request is THAT to dump on your crewmate in the middle of a fight?

And the cook was acting weird this week. Not THAT kind of weird, fortunately. Zoro had eventually got Sanji to explain that he was afraid of losing his emotions, afraid that some bullshit his birth father had pulled would someday turn him into a sociopath who’d hurt the crew. But, no, he just seemed…depressed, maybe? Subdued, certainly. No humming while he worked (Zoro would have been surprised at how much he missed that sound, if he hadn’t experienced that loss once already when the shitty cook ran off). No twirling and bowing and exclaiming over the lady Straw Hats (That he could do without, but it was still weird not to see it). The one hint of spirit the cook showed was the stink-eye that suggested Sanji was pissed at him for some unknown reason…but no matter what the swordsman tried he couldn’t get the cook to fight him, either. The bastard just backed off, grumbling under his breath. Zoro observed all of this for three days, until he was confident he’d identified the root of the problem.

            He threw open the door to  the library. Nami gave him an icy glare through her reading glasses. “Watch it! You almost made me spill ink on my map!”

But Zoro had no patience for maps. “Oi, witch! What the hell did you do to the cook?” he growled.

“What do you mean?” She tried to speak lightly, but there it was – that guilty look.

“Don’t give me that! He’s been looking pathetic as a half-drowned cat for days. And you wince when you see him act like that, like you know exactly why. So, I can only conclude it was you who broke him.”

The navigator put down the pen sunk her face in her hands. “Uggh. OK, yeah. I fucked up. I mean, I didn’t think it was that serious…but that was the exact problem and now he’s having some kind of existential crisis, and I don’t know how to fix it!”

“Nami. What did you do?”

            The navigator explained, and the more she talked, the more Zoro’s head hurt. “Wait…you got sad, drunk, and horny and tried to fuck the cook, he found out everyone assumes he’s a playboy who couldn’t possibly commit, and that’s why he’s depressed?” What a mess! “Do you even like men? And did he seriously have no clue that’s how he comes off?”

Nami sighed deeply and rubbed her own brow. “I mean…the pretty ones, sometimes.” (Well, Zoro couldn’t deny Sanji fell into that category). “But, yeah, I am never buying that brand of sake again! As for the second question: Apparently not.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “And that’s why he’s acting mad at you, by the way. He basically asked if everyone thought he was a slut. I said I didn’t think Luffy cared, and that you got annoyed at his indiscriminate flirting exactly because you realized it was counter to his actual goal.”

This curly dumbass. “And he’s mad about that why?!”

Nami shrugged. “‘The mortifying ordeal of being known,’ or some shit. You know how he is.”

Unfortunately, Zoro did. The cook tried really hard to present the ideal version of himself. The fact that A) he’d been doing it wrong for years when it came to romance and B) that it was Zoro, the “mosshead idiot swordsman”, who knew what he was going for anyway…that probably had broken the cook’s brain.

            Zoro considered the problem for a while, even after Nami went down to the bridge to consult with Jinbei. Just telling Sanji to snap out of it probably wouldn’t do any good. The cook wasn’t the type to just will himself into a different mental state. Sanji had feelings all over the place - And thank fuck THAT’S still true! a small voice in the swordsman’s head whispered – and so probably the only way out for him was through. But…maybe there were things they could do to help. While Sanji had never shared the whole story of what happened that time he left to get married, from what Nami and Luffy had reported it sounded like his birth family were a bunch of assholes who’d done a real number on the cook’s self-esteem.

Hell, anyone having the nerve to call Sanji a weakling and a failure AFTER the cook had saved their ass? Zoro ground his teeth. Tch. Rescue or no rescue…there’d be one less Vinsmoke now if I’d been there to hear that shit! Especially if I’d known it wasn’t just his self-worth the old man had fucked with.

           Sanji probably craved romantic love to the point of acting embarrassingly desperate because he got so little love back then.  And that sausage fest of cooks with anger issues on the Baratie probably wasn't much better in terms of learning what normal relationships look like! Granted, Zoro’s upbringing hadn’t been exactly normal either. But at least he’d lived in a village with a whole range of regular people. And had a girl as a best friend, even if, to his shame, he’d never got around to telling her that.

            So, maybe that was the solution: Helping the cook realize he already had a ton of people who loved him. Sanji had grown during that excursion of his, seemed more able to trust that he could ask his nakama for help and they wouldn’t abandon him or laugh at him for it. Even with this stupid current problem…he’d actually talked to Nami, even though he must have been feeling disappointed and humiliated. But did he fully understand how much the crew cared about him? Probably not, if his immediate thought regarding “what to do if I go insane” was “just kill me”! Or…maybe that wasn’t doubt in the crew’s love, as a whole. Sanji had seen first-hand that Luffy would go up against any odds to get him back. Luffy would never accept “just kill me” from ANY Straw Hat. So, Sanji hadn’t said it to Luffy. He’d said it to the crew’s OTHER main protector. The one who hadn’t come to save him.

Zoro groaned. Shit. And I said I’d be happy to do it, didn’t I?

             He hadn’t meant it. It was battle banter, intended to buck the cook up so he’d finish the job in front of him and survive, so they could deal with it later. And clearly Sanji knew that on some level. You wouldn’t ask that of someone you didn’t trust. But it occurred to Zoro now that the ways he’d habitually needled the cook – because it was incredibly fun to rile the fiery bastard up! – involved poking at wounds that were deeper than any of them had thought. He was horrified to realize there was a distinct possibility that Sanji might actually think that Zoro not only COULD kill him, in a physical-ability kind of way (it was a reasonable hypothesis that, if Zoro could slice steel, he could slice an exoskeleton), but that he wouldn’t mind it the same way Luffy would. That it wouldn’t fundamentally break him. And yeah, he’d do it if he needed to, to save the others or to give Sanji peace. But he would be done as a Straw Hat – if Luffy didn’t kick him off the crew, he’d resign himself – and maybe as a swordsman, too. Given what he’d seen Sanji do in Wano with his awakened abilities, and the fact that their scuffles tended to end in a draw, if Sanji were really fighting to kill Zoro would have to be the best to take him down. But it would be hard to care that he’d reached that peak if it was bought with the blood of one of the two most important people in his life.

             The idiot cook probably doesn’t even know that’s what he is, does he? Because I never said it. Called him “fourth placer” and all kinds of other insults because I love how the way he pushes himself to prove me wrong challenges both of us. Thought he knew what I meant. But, damn it…maybe he doesn’t.

He couldn’t just walk up and tell Sanji that, though. The cook would probably think he was bullshitting, and explaining that he needed Sanji to know how he felt because he knew Sanji needed to feel loved would probably lead to a massive misunderstanding and an even more massive fight. Which would be fun, and would probably snap the cook out of his funk, at least temporarily…but the others would not appreciate the damage to the ship. Franky, in particular, would probably try to drown them both in a cola barrel. Zoro would have to take a more subtle approach.

Chapter Text

            Sanji knew he should try to shake off this funk, if only to stop worrying his crewmates. And he knew he was worrying them. Luffy, Franky, and Brook had all commented on his low energy, and respectively recommended meat, cola, and milk as remedies. Usopp followed him around recounting his ridiculous stories (he had to try harder to make them ridiculous enough these days, given everything they’d seen) way more than usual. Jinbei kept offering Zen-sounding aphorisms, like “What you are trying to find is what you already are.” Chopper had started off staring at him and muttering things like “Anemia? Hmm. Probably not…” under his breath and had graduated to showing off the book on trauma therapy he’d picked up and strongly hinting that he wanted to try a session. (Sanji had been trying to avoid this, as he suspected opening up too much might just lead to a new load of trauma-by-proxy for their adorable little doctor).

           Hell, he needed to stop this if only to take that guilty look off Nami’s face. His mellorine didn’t deserve to feel guilty, not when she’d only told him the truth he’d failed to see for himself! He should be able to hear that, absorb it, and do better. That was the manly way. But whenever the saw her or Robin and successfully resisted that urge to twirl and exclaim, only to see Nami’s guilt and Robin’s sympathy - Sanji didn’t know if Nami had told her, because Robin always knew everything anyway - it stung like a scabbed-over wound cracking open again. Because, besides realizing he’d been misrepresenting himself, every little hint anyone had ever given about how his behavior might make women uncomfortable, which he’d brushed off because of course he intended to bring them nothing but pleasure and happiness, came crawling back into his mind. How did you move on from that shame, when you couldn’t trust your own judgement?

            At least the marimo was still treating him normally. Good old mosshead: Grunt, work out, pick a fight, take a nap. He never changed. Probably didn’t even notice t…

“Thanks, cook.”

Huh? Sanji paused and turned around. “What did you say, marimo?”

The swordsman pointed at his empty plate. “Dinner was good. Thanks.”

Sanji stared at him. The Zoro he knew didn’t say “thanks”, let alone comment on the quality of the meal. The cook knew the swordsman liked his food, because he ate with gusto and never left even a grain of rice behind. But the closest to praise he ever got was a request for more!

Is he pitying me too?

Sanji grit his teeth at the very idea. But there didn’t seem to be anything but straightforward sincerity in the swordsman’s face, so he settled for snatching the empty plate and snapping: “Of course it was! Thanks for finally noticing.”

He expected some kind of comeback. Because this had to be a trick, right? Zoro just nodded. A “good, so that’s settled” nod. Then the swordsman stood up. “Going on watch. See ya, curly.”

            Far from being a one-time anomaly, the pattern continued. And, weirdly, it seemed there was no second shoe to drop. Apparently, the swordsman had just suddenly decided to upgrade his table manners. He was even getting specific with the positive feedback now and then: “Thanks for making sure the lemonade wasn’t too sweet” “Those onigiri really hit the spot after a workout” “That sesame sauce on the roast fish reminds me of something my oba-san used to make.”

I guess I can’t reasonably COMPLAIN, given that I used to grumble about him being an ungrateful bastard, Sanji thought as he cleared up the plates. I mean, damn right he should compliment my cooking! But I wonder what the change of heart is about?

            Splashing and clinking noises from the galley drew his attention, and he turned around. The houseplant was at the sink, scrubbing a large pot.

“What do you think you’re doing, marimo?”

Zoro glanced over his shoulder. “The dishes. What’s it look like?” he grunted.

Sanji rolled his eyes as he brought over the last plates. “Yeah, I can see that, algae-brains. What I meant is: It’s not your turn.”

“I know. But you have to watch Luffy like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t break anything or put the plates in the slop bucket or whatever, right?” Zoro shrugged. “So, I swapped with him for deck-swabbing duty.” He held out the clean pot.

“Huh.” Sanji took it and grabbed a drying towel. “OK.”

How unexpectedly thoughtful of the marimo. And Luffy and Usopp DO have more fun chasing each other up and down the deck with mops.

            The cook finished drying the pot and set it on the stove, and Zoro handed him another. Dry, pass, repeat. It was…nice, this quiet, domestic rhythm. “I guess you and me used to do this a lot more back when it was just the five of us starting out, huh?” Sanji remarked.

“Yep.” Zoro held out a plate. “Here you go, cook.”

“Thanks, marimo.”

Another plate. “Here, curly.”

“Cool.”

A mug. “Dartbrow.”

Said eyebrow raised. “Uh, you don’t have to…”

“I can do this all night.” Zoro smirked and passed him another plate. “For you, love-cook.”

Sanji couldn’t help it. Remembering the time he’d driven the swordsman crazy by repeating his name every time he passed him a plate to dry, the cook burst out laughing so hard he missed the answering smile on Zoro’s face.

~

            It was a peaceful day on the ‘Sunny’. The weather was nice, so everyone who didn’t have other duties was up on the deck. That included Zoro, who had decided to bring his weights down to the lawn instead of staying cooped up in the crow’s nest. Luffy and Usopp were fishing. Franky was doing something to the railing; Zoro could only hope it wouldn’t involve any explosions. Nami and Robin were reading and sunbathing, while Chopper napped at their feet. Sanji had just come out with a tray of drinks for everyone, and Zoro was pleased to note that the cook seemed to be approaching some new equilibrium. That is, while he didn’t do that exaggerated twirly dance while serving the girls, he didn’t look like a drowned cat anymore either. He handed the beverages over with a calm: “Here you go, my lovelies.” Nami and Robin seemed happy to see him looking better too, because there was a genuine brightness in the “Thank you, Sanji-kun!” that brought an answering smile from the cook.

           “Sanji! Sanji! Look what we caught!”

Zoro glanced over at the shout. Luffy and Usopp were holding up a large fish and beaming excitedly.

Nami looked up from her book and wrinkled her nose. “Eww, what is that?!”

It was true that the fish wasn’t very appetizing-looking: slimy and blob-shaped with a huge mouth studded with what looked like hundreds of small teeth, an antennae-thingy between its eyes and weird little stubby fins on its belly.

“Oh, a monkfish!” Robin exclaimed. “How odd. Those are normally only found in the deep sea, I believe.”

The cook nodded. “That’s right, Robin-chan! And don’t worry, Nami-san: Despite their ugliness, they have quite a delicate flavor. Good job, you two!”

            Luffy grinned even more broadly. “So, you can cook it? Great!”

“Should we put it in the galley or the aquarium?” Usopp asked.

Sanji rolled up his sleeves. “Neither. It will make less mess if I butcher it out here. Franky, can you rig up something to hang it from, big enough so it doesn’t touch the deck?”

The cyborg jumped up excitedly. “Yow! You can count on me, cook-bro!”

“Great. You two wait here, then,” Sanji told the two fishermen. “I’ll be back with my knives and a tray for the meat.”

Zoro put down the large barbell he’d been bench-pressing and switched to bicep curls with dumbbells instead, the better to watch. This looks like it might be interesting.

            ‘Interesting’ turned out to be an understatement. Once the monkfish was hanging from the pyramidal rig Franky had welded together, Sanji pulled out his knives, and…wow! Zoro had known the cook was good with them, of course. He could dice an onion in five seconds flat, or fillet a normal fish in one elegant swipe with not a bone out of place. But this… After quickly slicing off the two side-fins, Sanji danced around the huge fish delivering a precise cut here and another there until the skin peeled away like a garment. It was almost indecent, the way the way the fish went from brown and slimy to bare and pink in seconds like that! Then the cook slit the fish’s belly, carefully placing each organ in one of the tray. A few more strokes of the knife separated out two long cylinders of white meat from each side of the fish.

            And, of course, Sanji was narrating as he did it: “Monkfish is sometimes called ‘poor man’s lobster’ because of the dense texture and delicate flavor of the meat. But, of course, you can make stock out of the bones, and the organs shouldn’t be wasted either. I’ll make a great soup with this meat from the tail. You can steam the liver or grill it…You guys would probably like it better grilled, right? The intestines you can treat like beef tripe – wash it well, rub some salt into it, and parboil it, then fry it up and serve with mushrooms and onions…”

Shit, why is it always so soothing to listen to Curly talk about food? Zoro wondered. Is it just because HE sounds so happy?

Good thing he was fast at making the food, too, because everyone was drooling already just hearing about it!

            The monkfish feast – which included all the dishes Sanji had mentioned except the soup, which would serve as tomorrow’s lunch - left all the Straw Hats fat and happy. Luffy, in particular, had to be practically rolled out the door. Nami and Robin volunteered to wash up, which clearly put the cook in a hilariously-awkward-to-watch dilemma between clearly wanting to insist that they not sully their delicate hands and his new resolution to be less weirdly gallant in inappropriate situations.

Zoro, who was polishing his swords in the corner, finally said: “Hey, cook. They said they wanna take care of it. And you gotta respect what ladies want, right?” Sanji shot him an annoyed look, but the swordsman just shrugged. “Hey, it’s your rule, not mine. But MY rule would be ‘everyone takes a turn’. So.”

Nami nodded. “That’s right. And you worked hard on this, Sanji-kun. You should take a rest!”

“Let us lend a hand. Or two,” Robin added, sprouting considerably more than that along the galley counter.

“All right. It seems I’m over-ruled,” Sanji sighed.

The cook being the cook, though, he didn’t actually just sit down and rest. Instead, he picked up his block of knives before settling at the other end of the table from Zoro and beginning to sharpen them.

            Which probably made it a good time to say: “It was pretty cool how you carved up that fish earlier.”

Sanji looked up. “Huh? Oh. Thanks.”

Zoro checked Wado’s blade for any smears of oil, and resheathed it before picking up Kitetsu. “Yeah, I mean…I know it’s not your thing, but you probably wouldn’t be half bad with a sword if you ever tried it.”

The cook shuddered. “No thanks. Bad memories.”

Huh. When would he have…Ohhh. Yeah, better not to talk about that, probably.  So, instead Zoro said lightly: “Yeah, I guess the way you use your blades suits you better.”  Though, damn, would it be interesting to spar with swords some time. Especially if cook actually TRAINED with one at some point!

Sanji's eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I remembered recently something this old man in my village said. We used to talk about swords a lot, but I didn’t know until Wano that he made both Wado and Enma.” Zoro picked up the latter sword and began sharpening it. “He said swords are tools, like kitchen knives. Except that swords are meant to take life, where kitchen knives give it. He was trying to explain why the swords people say are cursed are just exceptionally good at their jobs. But seeing you cut up that fish…I dunno, that’s what blades are for, for you.”

            Sanji snorted. “Lemme guess. ‘And that’s why you’re number four?’ Huh, asshole?”

Zoro raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you actually believe Chopper’s bounty should be as low as it is?”

That seemed to throw the cook off. “Uh…no, obviously. A thousand berries for someone who can turn into a giant monster and hold off Queen for any amount of time? C’mon!”

“Exactly. I’m not talking about our reputations with the navy right now, moron!" The swordsman turned back to his work. "You know you can fight. I know you can fight. But, even though you’re good at fighting, that’s not your purpose. You find purpose in feeding people. In creation, not destruction. Right? So, you insisting on just using kitchen knives, not swords, on only fighting with your damn feet, makes a weird kind of sense.”

             Sanji went very quiet. It wasn’t an angry I’m-about-to-kick-your-ass quiet. Zoro could tell that much with observation haki, even though the cook was currently in his blindspot. So, he turned his head to look. Sanji’s cheeks were bright pink, and he was staring at Zoro with an expression that looked both flattered and extremely confused.

Cute, Zoro thought, and then immediately wanted to slap himself in the face. Instead, he cleared his throat. “Uh, you good, cook?”

“I. Um. I…need a cigarette. I mean, some air,” Sanji mumbled, before practically sprinting out of the room.

             A giggle from the kitchen reminded Zoro that the women were still in there. And since they were apparently watching the exchange with rapt fascination: “What’s with him?”

Robin leaned her chin on her hand. In the background, her other hands continued cleaning. “Am I right in thinking you’re making an effort to be nicer to our cook?”

“Thought he might distrust it,” the swordsman admitted. “Didn’t expect him to react like that though.”

“Zoro, we talked about Sanji’s discomfort with being known, right?” Nami said.

“Yeah?”

The navigator grinned. “That was probably the most intense I-see-you-and-I-like-what-I-see moment he’s ever experienced since Judge rattled off all Sanji’s traits he thought were weak and bad…and Luffy went: ‘I don’t get it, why’s he saying nice stuff about you all of a sudden?’ And that was Luffy, who compliments people all the time! Sanji-kun is probably a little overwhelmed right now.”

Zoro grimaced. “Damn. You think it was too much?”

Nami shook her head. “No, no. Just…give him a little time to process.”

“Processing positive interactions is difficulty when you aren’t used to it,” Robin added.

The swordsman nodded. “Right.” Robin would know, after all.

Chapter Text

           What is that green-haired idiot playing at? Since when does he say things like that?

Standing on the rear deck, Sanji blew out a long stream of smoke.

Except…he’s NOT an idiot, is he? another thought countered. Because he’s right. How the fuck is he RIGHT?!

The cook paced up and down, trying to work out whatever the odd, jittery feeling in his chest. He felt, on the one hand, terribly exposed, like a shrimp suddenly peeled out of its shell. But also…safe?

           That was the weird thing. He’d learned, through years of experience dealing with macho idiots, that it was best to keep his walls up: To scowl and curse and posture and always be ready for a fight. Because that’s how men were, and it was best never to show weakness. Now, granted, Luffy and Usopp weren’t really like that at all, and Sanji had relaxed a bit around them quite early on. Then he’d met Franky, who, despite being a muscle-bound cyborg, cried or broke into song at the drop of a hat; Brook, who had prissier tastes in tea and a more flamboyant fashion sense than Sanji could ever aspire to; and Jinbei, who exuded a calm wise-elder energy even though you knew he could palm-slap you halfway across the ocean if he wanted to. So, none of them really fit that mold or triggered his full insecurities. But Zoro…something about Zoro had always kept his defenses up. Because surely someone who just was that stoic warrior type, someone who’d probably never had a moment’s doubt about whether he was the right kind of man in his entire goddamn life, couldn’t really respect someone like Sanji. Because men like that didn’t tend to value nurturing impulses, artistry, or emotionality - certainly not in other men! Not that Sanji had ever let that stop him from expressing those things, of course; he just put on an extra prickly “You wanna fuck with me? Just try it asshole!” mask to compensate. And yet…the swordsman had just sat there and described Sanji’s existence like it was self-evidently of as much value as his own. Hell, it almost sounded like he was putting extra respect on it, since he as good as admitted that the cook was his equal on the battlefield, even if that was a side-hustle of sorts!

            Even after he’d finished his smoke, taken a shower, and rolled into his hammock, Sanji couldn’t stop pondering it.

Does Zoro actually…like me? The cook’s cheeks flushed and he quickly added: As a person, I mean! – because, though they’d never discussed it, he did know that Zoro was gay. He’d been slow to realize it, distracted by annoyance at how the swordsman seemed to squander the female attention he could get so easily. After his jealous outburst regarding Hiyori throwing herself at the apparently oblivious mossball, though, Nami had sat him down and helped connect some dots. Sanji shook his head. No, not like that, obviously. I mean, as a…friend? Are we actually FRIENDS?

            Luffy blinked at the cook. “Hah? Of course you an’ Zoro like each other! What kind of question is that?”

The cook rolled his eyes. He should have known better than to put that question to their captain, the guy to whom anyone who gave him half a ham sandwich was a “friend”, and who invited people to join the crew after five minutes of observation. Uncannily accurate observation, sure - but still! “It’s not as simple as that! I know we’re nakama and we always watch each other’s backs and stuff. But trusting someone isn’t the same as liking them.”

The captain only looked more baffled. “Are you stupid or something? You guys’re like best friends!”

“We fought just this morning! He cut my tie in half!” Sanji protested.

“Well, yeah, but that’s just what you do,” Luffy said lightly. “It’s not like you ever actually hurt each other.”

That’s true, isn’t it? Sanji realized with a start. Hell, both Usopp and I did worse damage to Luffy, when we were trying to push him away, than Zoro ever did to me or vice versa. And Luffy’s our captain as well as our friend!

            “I mean, Zoro WAS real upset when you left,” the captain added. “But I could tell he was worried about you, because he kept threatening to kick me when I said so, shishishi! Then me and Nami explained, after, how it was your family and Big Mom’s fault, that you were afraid they’d try to hurt us or your pops if you didn’t go. And how you didn’t really wanna get married. So, he’s not mad about that anymore.”

Huh. Well, that explained why – despite his insistence on Usopp apologizing - Zoro had brushed off Sanji’s attempt to address the matter (back when they were gearing up for the Onigashima raid) with a brusque: “Whatever, cook. If Luffy’s cool with you, then it’s fine.”

          Luffy peered at Sanji from under the brim of his hat. “And you worry about Zoro a lot when he gets hurt, right?”

“Hah. Only because the idiot keeps almost dying!”

“Right. So, you like him.”

Sanji puffed out a wisp of smoke irritably. “Like I said, it’s not that simple! I mean, the neanderthal never bathes. Hell, the moron doesn’t even wear a shirt anymore. He’s got zero sense of direction; that’s super annoying! And just because he’s not interested in girls doesn’t mean he couldn’t be more polite to them…”

“Yeah, yeah. But that’s not the important stuff, is it?” Luffy interrupted. “What do you think is good about Zoro?”

          “I…well…” A vision of Zoro planting himself between Kuma and Luffy, and then stopping Sanji from taking his place, came to mind. “He’s loyal. And brave. To a fault, really. But he doesn’t seek out praise for it. That’s pretty admirable, I suppose.” Then he thought of the swordsman washing Chopper’s hair, and how – unlike some of the other Straw Hats – he’d never damaged anything in Sanji’s kitchen. “And he looks like a brute, but he can actually be gentle, when he wants to.” The cook took another puff on his cigarette, as more memories floated up. “He doesn’t like to talk about feelings, most of the time; treats that as frivolous. BUT…he’s straightforward, I guess.” He swallowed, remembering the conversation that had led here, before adding: “If he says something, you can be pretty sure he means it.”

Luffy nodded. “Yep! So, I've got an important question...”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

A grin split the captain’s face from ear to ear. “When’s lunch?! I’m starving!”

~

            Finally, the next island loomed on the horizon. Luffy was ecstatic, bouncing around like a frog on a sugar high, as he always did when potential adventure beckoned. And though Nami repeatedly pointed out that it was just a regular trading port – no dinosaurs or warlords or weird drug labs to be expected - the other Straw Hats, too, were excited at the chance to stretch their legs and stock up on supplies.

“Hey, witch. Need some money,” Zoro said quietly, as the crew bustled around getting ready to dock. “And, before you go listing off interest rates…it’s not for me. It’s for the cook.”

Nami’s eyebrows raised. “Huh? But I already gave Sanji money!”

“For groceries. Not for him.” Zoro gave her a sharp look. “You know that if he manages to save some of that cash by haggling, he always brings back at least half the extra for you, right? Doesn’t leave a lot to treat himself.”

The navigator looked thoughtful. “So…you want to treat him?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Zoro shrugged. “We’re trying to cheer him up, right?”

           “Hmm. OK.” Nami counted out some berry and handed it over. But when he reached out to grab it…the navigator pulled it back for a moment. “Are you prepared for the fallout if he thinks you’re in love with him?”

“Eh? Why would he think that?”

Nami sighed. “Zoro, you’ve been – by your standards, anyway – showering him with compliments lately. And now you want to show him a nice time onshore and buy him stuff…you don’t see how that sounds at least a little bit like a date?”

The swordsman’s cheeks flushed. He snatched the handful of bills. “Shut up! It’s not like that!”

“Isn’t it?” The navigator grinned. “Zoro. C’mon. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t think he’s hot.”

“Why would I?” Zoro grumbled. “With how girl-crazy he is, it’s not like what I think matters. I’m just trying to be nicer to him, damn it!”

Nami shrugged. “Fine. You just better be prepared to take responsibility if he’s more into it than you think, that’s all.”

~

            “Oi, marimo, hold t…” Sanji turned around with a large bag of tomatoes, only to realize that the mossball in question had somehow wandered off again! Luckily, he was still in view at the other end of the row of stalls. “For fuck’s sake!” he grumbled, as he steered the swordsman back in the correct direction. “Just stand still! Do I have to hold your hand?!”

For some reason, the swordsman’s cheeks turned a little bit red. “Tch. Shut up, curly.”

What’s that about? Is he actually showing a bit of shame at his directionlessness? Well, whatever. At least I didn’t have to almost kick him off the ship this time.

Indeed, all he’d said was: “Get up, lazy moss. You’re helping with the supply run.”

Zoro had yawned, and grumbled: “Why am I always the pack mule?”

To which Sanji had replied: “Nami-san said we’re doing the groceries. So, shut up and put those muscles to work, meathead.”

And…that had been it for the arguing! Well, not in general. They always found something to bicker about, such as Zoro’s absurd ability to get lost on a straight road. But Sanji found that he was having more fun than usual, now that he was entertaining the idea that every other look or statement from Zoro was not a dig at his very existence. Not to mention that the combination of Sanji’s charm and the swordsman’s intimidating looks had resulted in some very good deals!

            About halfway through the market, the scent of roasting meat caught Sanji’s attention.

Hmm. Lamb, I think. With cumin? And…cardamom, maybe?

Still, he was about to turn away from the stall and back to the task at hand when…

“Yeah, I’ll take two of those. Thanks.” The mosshead was at the kebab stall, handing over a few crumpled bills. He held out a skewer to Sanji. “Here.”

“Huh?”

“You wanted one, right?” Zoro bit off a piece of his own kebab. “Eat.”

Feeling somewhat unbalanced, Sanji took his meat and sat down on the edge of a fountain. "Right. Thanks, marimo."

Zoro plopped down next to him, piling all their grocery sacks around their feet. The meat was delicious, and the cook closed his eyes. Ah, galangal! Nice – I would have missed that. And just a hint of citrus peel…

A chuckle from the swordsman jerked him out of his reverie. “What’s so funny, algae brains?”

Zoro grinned. “You’re writing the recipe in your head now, aren’t you?” he said, around a mouthful of meat.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, you heathen. But, yes, as it happens.”

The swordsman nodded. “Luffy’s gonna love it.”

            They ate in silence for a few minutes. Then Zoro polished off the last of his kebab and remarked: “So...did you not notice the dark-haired chick at the fish stall was trying to ask you out?”

“Hmm?” Sanji replied absently, as he checked off his list in his head. “Oh, no. I noticed.”

“And you’re not going for it?”

Sanji raised his curly brow. “Thought you didn’t like it when I fawned over the ladies, marimo.”

“Well, not when you’re weird about it,” the swordsman scoffed. “But don’t tell me you’re giving up altogether, love-cook!”

Sanji sighed, lighting a cigarette as he wondered how much to reveal about his evolving thoughts on the matter. At last he said: “Did Luffy and Nami-san tell you about Pudding?”

“Big Mom’s daughter? Only that you didn’t really want to marry her.”

            The cook tipped his head to one side. “Mmm. It’s more complicated than that. On paper, she was everything I thought I wanted: pretty, an excellent pastry chef, not to mention more or less a princess. But the fact that I was being bullied into it by our families, that I’d have to give up our adventures…I didn’t want that, and I told her so. Then, after I thought I’d burned all my bridges, I convinced myself that if I could just love Pudding and make her happy, then at least my shell of a life could have some meaning. Well, turns out she thought I was a pathetic joke and was planning to shoot me at the wedding. And before you get mad…” Sanji added, because he could see Zoro’s expression going rather stormy, “her family did put her up to it. Poor thing had almost my luck in parents, you see.” He shrugged. “Anyway, she changed her mind, and we ended up working together. I think probably Nami-san and the others think I didn’t notice that she started to like me. I did; But I’d also just been slapped in the face with the fact that she didn't think I was worth anything until then. Until I did something cool. Not that I think the lady at the fish stall would be shallow like that, necessarily. However, lately…” he sighed again and flicked a bit of ash off his cigarette. “…well, I’ve been thinking that maybe I shouldn’t throw my heart at just anyone. I’m not going to give up being extra nice to ladies, when I can. I still believe in love. But I’m tired of temporary. And I don’t want to give up my dream just yet, but it wouldn’t be fair to ask any of these girls to wait for someone who’s part of a crew that’s at war with the whole world, and who might not come back. You know?”

           Zoro blinked at him, evidently not having expected such a long, detailed, and honest answer to his light teasing. “Uh. I’m probably not the best person to ask, cook.”

“Because you’re not interested in ladies?” Sanji grinned at him. “Yeah, I know.  But don’t tell me that means you have no opinions about love, marimo! C’mon, you’ve never said…what’s your type?”

He’d never have thought to associate the word “adorable” with someone like Zoro! But the swordsman looked so flustered he couldn’t help thinking it. “Well. Someone strong…”

Sanji snorted and lit a new cigarette. “OK, yeah, that figures!”

“But, y’know, like you said: Any of these people would just be a distraction. Because we can’t stay. Or, if we did…that’d mean our adventure was over.”

“Yeah. Nami-san said something similar.” The cook sighed deeply. “Sucks, doesn’t it.”

Zoro shrugged. “Eh, I dunno. Never met anyone in one of these places who really made it feel like a serious choice.”

A funny thought struck Sanji. “What…Hah. What if you fell for someone, and Luffy recruited them?”

“Huh?”

 “Well, you said you like strong people. And, you being you, you’d probably need some traits like loyalty and hyper-competence to make ‘im worth your while long-term, right? I dunno, sounds like someone Luffy’d probably latch onto.”

Zoro looked thoughtful. “Hmm. Could be a solution for you too, cook. I mean, if you found that beautiful lady swordsman carrying a plate of meat that Usopp made up…”

Sanji laughed. “Ha. That’d be something, wouldn’t it?”

            They finished up their circuit of the markets, with a few more stops to sample food and drink, before making their way back to the ‘Sunny’. After everything was stowed in the galley, Zoro suddenly paused. “Oh, right. Meant to give you this.”

Sanji turned and saw that the swordsman had pulled a small sack out of his sash

When did you have the time to buy something when I wasn’t looking?

He opened the little sack to reveal a rather elegant tie with blue and pink stripes. And then the cook remembered: One of the times the swordsman had wandered off, he’d found him by a clothing stall. But…“What the hell’s this, marimo?”

Zoro rolled his eyes. “Tch. How do you not know what a tie looks like, cook?”

“I know it’s a tie,” Sanji said – very patiently, given the circumstances. “Why are you giving it to me?”

The swordsman shrugged. “Eh, you were bitching about how I ruined your other one. But if you don’t like it, you can probably exchange it for another color tomorrow. Anyway, I’m gonna go look for a bar. You wanna come?”

The cook dragged his eyes away from the patterned silk, feeling very warm in the cheeks. “Hmm? Oh, no. I think I’m going to…organize my recipes. Maybe write down that spice mix for the kebabs before I forget.”

“Really? Well, suit yourself, curly.”

          Sanji watched him walk off. He’d always assumed that Zoro had no eye for fashion. And, certainly, he clearly didn’t have much interest in it. The mosshead was perfectly happy to wear the exact same thing every day until it fell apart. But Sanji had to grant that it wasn’t as if what he chose was unflattering. That green robe and red sash, for instance, while a bit garish, did accentuate the breadth of the swordsman’s shoulders relative to his waist. And the lack of shirt, while indeed rather crass, certainly gave a fine view of his ample ch…

A drop of moisture tickled the cook’s upper lip. He wiped it away absently, then stared at the blood on his finger.

Oh. Oh, NO.

Chapter Text

            The realization that he had more-than-nakama-ish feelings for a male crewmate was not as surprising to Sanji as many of his friends might have expected. It wasn’t the first time he’d had such thoughts; Meeting Luffy’s handsome and charming brother, who could light one’s cigarette with the snap of his fingers, had resulted in some embarrassingly intense dreams, for example. And, while Sanji had initially panicked at being sent to the Kamabakka Queendom (especially since the residents, seeing that reaction, had deliberately decided to mess with him), he’d eventually calmed down. When he did, and actually started talking to the okama, he’d discovered that many of them had life experiences that were unexpectedly relatable: Families that were unaccepting of a child who wasn’t what they expected, sometimes to the point of violence, say, or a mask they developed to present to the world that was practical but stifling…which one could choose to put down, if it was safe. They had assured him that being attracted to men and women (and/or those who existed somewhere between) was quite common and perfectly natural. Over the period of his training, Sanji had had time to accept this – though not, perhaps, why one would choose to actually pursue men if one had other options – and to discover another thing or two about himself that he had largely made peace with…even if he wasn’t exactly ready to announce any of that to the world!

            Why’d it have to be the marimo, though?

THAT was the annoying thing!

Ace, sure. Ace might also have been allergic to shirts, but he was pleasant and helpful and almost gentlemanly…

Sanji’s mind drifted to Zoro’s mild teasing as he spontaneously helped with the dishes, his compliments about Sanji’s knifework, the way he’d known the cook wanted to sample the kebab and had replaced the tie he’d damaged.

Well, OK. Maybe that explains why the marimo NOW, he conceded.  But it is still hugely inconvenient! I mean, we were JUST starting to act like proper friends. I don’t wanna screw that up by getting all heart-eyed and/or horny over him! Just because Zoro likes men doesn’t mean he likes ME like that. I’m just gonna have to try to not be weird, and hope it goes away.

             As it happened, Sanji soon had plenty of distractions. The ship nearly got eaten by a robot shark, Luffy and Chopper got separated, and the crew ended up on an island that a mad genius had stuffed full of gadgets, fighting clone people bio-engineered to be weapons and a bunch of weird old guys who turned into demons…so there wasn’t really a lot of time to fixate on how the green-haired swordsman was actually kinda hot.

            Well. At least until Sanji jumped down to catch Edison and, by happenstance, landed next to Zoro. The moss had also clearly gone through the clothing generator and, instead of dressing him for a luau (as it had inexplicably decided to do for Sanji), it had put him in a close-fitting black turtleneck bodysuit topped with a stylish puffy jacket.

God DAMN. It was just as well that the swordsman was squaring up to fight a seraphim version of Mihawk and didn’t catch him staring. That’s just unfair on multiple levels.

Sanji would have been intrigued to watch that fight, actually. But then the seraphim got called off, and their attention was diverted by the apparent disappearance of, uh…the original Vegapunk, Sanji supposed.

           “So, we’re looking for an old guy with his head cut in half?” Zoro said, already striding toward the door.

Sanji almost tackled him. “Hold it, marimo!” he growled (definitely not dwelling how warm and solid the swordsman felt in his arms). “YOU are not going anywhere!”

Zoro looked annoyed. “Hah?”

“This place is a maze crossed with a junk shop. You are absolutely going to get lost!”

“I agree. You should stay here,” Chopper seconded.

Robin smiled mysteriously. “Yes, be a good boy and listen to cook-san, won’t you?”

“I’m not gonna sit around and do nothing!” the swordsman protested.

“No, you and Luffy are gonna sit around and watch those bastards,” Sanji countered, pointing at the two CP0 agents currently handcuffed on the floor. He leaned in closer. “It’s sounding more and more like we’ve got an Ohara 2.0 situation on our hands, and those guys are the ones who took Robin away before! Do not let them out of your sight!”

Zoro rolled his eye and sighed. “Uggh. Yes, dear.”

Sanji froze. “What?”

“I mean, you can stop nagging me!” Zoro flopped down on the couch and waved a hand. “I got it! Go!”

“Right. Yeah.” Of course that’s what he meant, dumbass. “And wear your antenna thingy!”

~

            “Save me! Straw Hat Luffy is here and he’s gonna kill me!” York wailed into the transponder snail Usopp was holding up. “You gotta crush these psychos!”

Zoro wasn’t sure how much of it was acting, and how much of it was genuine worry that Wado’s blade would actually cut her throat. But it was doing the trick of baiting their enemies, either way. And, interestingly, Sanji didn’t seem worried about it. The cook had somehow found a kitchen, and was currently dancing around the room handing out sandwiches and beverages… plus some hunks of roast meat for Luffy and Bonney.

           “Yum!” Luffy exclaimed. “Isn’t Sanji’s food the best?!”

Bonney nodded enthusiastically. “Those printed burgers were good, but nothing like this!”

“I aim to please, Bonney-chan. Sandwich, Nami-swan?”

The cook looked silly but, yes, kind of cute in his shorts and loud floral shirt. Outfits like that always made him look so much more relaxed than the suits. And fuck knows curly could stand to relax a bit!

“Thank you, Sanji-kun!” said Nami sweetly, still pointing the bubble-gun at York.

A tray appeared under Zoro’s nose. “Marimo?”

“Sure.” He grabbed one with his free hand. “What’s this ‘printed burger’ they’re talking about?”

Sanji shuddered. “No idea, but it sounds like something only Luffy’s taste-buds could tolerate.”

“It’s the food of the future, you Luddites!” York grumbled. “Perfectly calibrated for optimum nutrition, heat of the patty, toastedness of the bun…” 

“And not a bit of soul or love in it, I bet,” Sanji countered. He held out the tray. “Care to taste the difference? Can’t have you starving, even if you are a prisoner.”

Despite her argument in favor of the printed burger, Zoro had seen York’s eyes tracking the tray and her mouth watering, so he wasn’t surprised when she grabbed three and gobbled them up with a blissful expression.

           He raised an eyebrow at Sanji. “Y’know, I thought you’d have had more objection to me’n Nami threatening a lady like this, curly.”

The cook shrugged. “Well, if it’s to keep Nami-san and Robin-chan safe, not to mention Stussy, Lilith, Atlas, and everyone else…if you two are willing to do it, then I can be flexible.”

“She’s pretty big,” Luffy said speculatively, still munching away. “Think we could use her as a human shield to get away?”

“Luffy! Not THAT flexible!” Sanji snapped.

“Waaah! If you lay a finger on me, the five elders will wipe this island off the map just like Ohara!” York wailed.

         Wham! “How dare you say that in front of Robin!” Whack! Before Zoro had time to blink, the navigator was laying into York with her clima-tact.

“I’ll tell the elders on you!” York whimpered.

“Just you try it, bitch!” Whack! “Bring it on!”

“Whoa, calm down!” the swordsman protested. “I agree that was nasty, but she’s unarmed!”

“Um…” Sanji glanced back and forth between Nami, Robin, and York, before pivoting abruptly away. “Stussy-chan, would you like another mimosa?”

            Zoro had thought it odd that Rob Lucci had agreed to team up so readily with Luffy. Like he’d told his captain, letting the CP-whatever agents get slaughtered by the seraphim while wearing handcuffs seemed dishonorable…but, in his opinion, Lucci ought to have been back in cuffs the second the other threat was gone. And, unfortunately, that instinct proved correct when, after Luffy, Bonney, Lilith, and Franky had left to get the ‘Sunny’ and everyone left in the dome was distracted by Kizaru passing the barrier, Lucci abruptly tried to stab Vegapunk – an attempt that was foiled by Stussy, who blocked the blow with her own body.

            Perhaps unsurprisingly, Sanji was the first to react…though, instead of immediately launching a flaming foot at Lucci’s face, he had the presence of mind to grab Nami’s bubble gun and immobilize Lucci’s confederate. “Right. Now you’re gonna pay for that, you bastard!”

Even as he spoke, Zoro was swinging two swords at Lucci. “Looks like you waited for backup to grow a spine, huh, pussycat?”

Lucci blocked with a haki-coated knee and scoffed. “Between me and Kizaru, you all are as good as dead.”

The swordsman growled, recalling Lucci’s earlier promise to kill Luffy (not a major threat, honestly, considering how Luffy in Gear 5 had wiped the floor with Lucci, but still) and all their friends. He launched himself forward. “You should know not to underestimate us by now!”

The force of the blow carried both of them through the wall.

Luffy likes to give people a chance to change, but cook was right about YOU. I’m not letting you out of my sight OR near our friends again!

~

            Bonney-chan had gotten knocked down to ground level when the robot carrying the ‘Sunny’ was attacked…and ground level was NOT a safe place for young girl to be, no matter what age she looked! As he clung to the outside of Sanji closed his eyes and stretched out with his observation haki. “Found her!”

“Are you sure?” Franky said.

“When have I ever been wrong about finding a damsel in distress?”

“That doesn’t sound very scientific,” Vegapunk remarked.

But the cook was already sky-walking down.

            Bonney was staring up at a Pacifista. Just before it fired, Sanji tackled her out of the path of the beam.

“B-black leg?!”

“Bonney-chan, you can’t freeze up like that!” Zoro had done that, the first time they’d seen one of those things, and he’d had to snap the mosshead out of it. And he wasn’t even related to it. “They told me about Kuma being your dad! So, I get it! But that thing isn’t your dad!” He swallowed. “It looks like him, but it’s not.” And even if it were the real one, he wouldn’t know you. “You’ve gotta keep a cool head.”

            They were doing well: Most marines weren’t really a serious obstacle these days, and Sanji had beaten pacifista before (though Zoro would surely argue about which one of them had struck the killing blow on that one in Sabaody). But then a pentagram seared itself into the ground and some kind of black goo began bubbling out of it, coalescing into a huge spider guy.

So…actual demons work for the World Government, huh? Great. I guess that checks out.

Faced with that thing, which evidently had ordered Kuma’s fate, Bonney understandably did not keep her cool. It didn’t seem to care about getting stabbed, though, and Sanji discovered it had a pretty impressive kick too when he ran to rescue her.

          And then, just when all seemed lost…Kuma came. The real one. He didn’t say anything. He just appeared, punched spider guy right in his fat spider face, and folded his wailing daughter (who had reverted to her true 12 year old form) in his arms.

But that’s impossible. They took his memories. They took his emotions and his individuality. So why does it look like he still loves her?

~

            Lucci blocked another of Zoro’s strikes with haki-coated claws. “This is pathetic. Your crew’s waiting for you, right? Ha. You’re just a burden to them now.”

The swordsman hadn’t been going all out, it was true. He had wanted to draw Lucci away from the others, and make sure he didn’t interfere with Luffy’s fight with Kizaru.

Because this bitch would for sure pull some underhanded shit if he could!

“Those fools will never make it if they can’t cut off the arm to save the body! Giving up now would be doing them a favor!”

Zoro snorted. “You’re talking like you think you’re the one in charge of this fight, Rob Lucci.” Because his secondary purpose was to gauge exactly how strong Lucci was. Not the strongest, it seemed – the duel had been pretty even for the last 20 minutes, and Zoro hadn’t even drawn his third sword. But, if he did…could he beat him definitively without pulling out asura or an equally strong move? The swordsman was somewhat disgruntled to realize he wasn’t sure. Certainly, back in Ennies Lobby Luffy had had to use gears 3 and 4 to the point of utter exhaustion and immobility, and he still hadn’t actually killed Lucci.

Still, would have thought I’d caught up to THAT point, at least!

            The antenna thingy Sanji had insisted he wear crackled. “Mosshead, where the hell are you?”

“Out in the forest,” Zoro replied, with another swing at Lucci. “What’s with all that haki I just sensed?”

“Yeah, we’ve got demons.”

Zoro parried a swipe of Lucci’s claws. “We’ve got what?!”

“They call ‘em the 5 elders, but that’s what it looks like to me.” There was a short pause. “Nami says the ship’s good to go and Jinbei’s on his way to lead you back. You beat Lucci, right?”

“Haha! This third-rate swordsman could never defeat me!” Lucci crowed, with a blow that sent Kitetsu spinning away.

“For fuck’s sake, marimo!” Sanji growled. “Stop playing with your food! I swear to god, if anyone gets hurt because you were messing around…”

Zoro placed Wado between his teeth and reached out to catch the cursed sword. “Three sword style, spotted leopard hahava hunt!” he growled, whirling forward.

Lucci staggered and coughed up blood.

            “Zoro!” Jinbei’s voice rang out from behind him. “Good, you won! Let’s go!”

The swordsman eyed his opponent. He was bleeding from three large gashes, but… “He’s still standing.”

“Jinbei, have you got him?” Sanji’s voice asked. “We need to move! Drag him back here, if you have to!”

“On it!” Unexpectedly Zoro found himself being picked up by the fishman, who aimed a powerful fishman karate punch at Lucci. The agent disappeared in a cloud of dust.

“What the hell?! Put me down!”

“Sorry, Zoro,” Jinbei said as he ran down the trail. “We all know it’s faster this way.”

~

            As the sun set, Sanji watched Bonney curl up on Kuma’s badly singed chest out on the deck, and felt a pang in his own heart.

At least Bonney-chan got to find her dad again and see how much he cared for her. However…

The cook sighed and lit a cigarette, then wandered into the room where they’d layed out Vegapunk’s corpse. “What was this all about, old man?” he muttered. Did you really die just for a ‘gotcha’? You made our captain cry, you know.”

Luffy had been stuffing his mouth with watermelon-sized grapes on the giants’ dining table while tears ran down his face. And no wonder. They’d promised to save Vegapunk, but it wasn’t just THIS Vegapunk that had died. Out of seven, there was only Lilith and the traitor York left.

Well, maybe a proper meal would revive everyone’s spirits.

Sanji puffed out a cloud of smoke and went to find the kitchen. But…

He craned his neck upward, trying to see if there were any pans on top of the stove that was the size of a two-story building. Well, shit. I either need to go back to the ‘Sunny’ or figure out how to cook while sky-walking!

            “Figured you’d be in here.”

Sanji turned around to see Zoro dragging a sake bottle bigger than himself. He smirked. “Figures you’d find the booze.”

The swordsman shrugged. “Hey, just because Luffy’s not in the mood to drink, doesn’t mean I can’t. Want some?”

“Actually, yeah. A drink sounds pretty good after this crazy day.”

            They found a comfortable seat on a fallen oven mitt and a couple of bottle caps (to them the size of soup plates) to serve as sake bowls.

They drank in companionable silence for a while, until Zoro said: “Are you feeling OK, cook?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m not hurt or anything.” Sanji cocked his head. “Since when do you ask me things like that?”

Zoro took a deep draught of booze. “Since Brook told me you took a Seraphim punch to the face without blinking? Since Franky said you blocked Kizaru’s laser beam with your leg, and then used Ifrit Jambe – the one you said needed the exoskeleton to tolerate the flames?”

The cook drew his knees into his chest. “Oh.”

“Don’t ‘oh’ me, cook! Why didn’t you tell me yourself?”

“Because it’s been kind of a busy day, asshole!” Sanji snapped.

Because it scared me to realize that stuff too. I thought I’d stopped mutating. I guess I was wrong.

            He took a deep breath. “But I haven’t lost my mind, so I don’t need you to…y'know.” He made a slicing gesture across his neck.

“Yeah, I need to change my response about that,” Zoro grunted.

“What?”

“I promise not to let you hurt anyone, cook. But I can’t promise to kill you.”

Sanji glared at him. Today of all days? When we saw people who look like people we know used as weapons, switching sides because they were programmed to?  “Now, listen, asshole! You can’t just take back…”

“Yes, I can!” Zoro grabbed a handful of Sanji’s shirt, pulling him in until their noses almost touched. “You asked me because you know I want to protect this crew more than anything. But you are also a part of this crew, moron!”

          The cook blinked at him. “Marimo…”

Zoro sighed and let go, but his gaze didn’t waver. “Listen, curly. I know Luffy told you ‘Without you, I can’t become king of the pirates.’ Right? That means he needs you to stick around at least until that happens. Hell, from what Vegapunk was saying, it seems like it might be pretty damn important who finds that One Piece; Do you want it to be anyone but Luffy? And when I become the world’s greatest swordsman, I want you to be there too – because who else am I gonna gloat about it to? And I want to be there when you find the All Blue, so I can see that goofy grin you get and tease you about being in love with a fish or something. We don’t…I don’t want to do those things without you, Sanji.”

          Holy shit, that was almost romantic…Sanji thought, and then mentally slapped himself. The point is: “Zoro, I get what you’re trying to say, but you don’t understand. I wouldn’t want to live as some soulless battle machine!”

“I know. But who says that’s your fate? Your sister, at least, isn’t a total psycho – she saved Luffy, and you, after all - and you haven’t shown any sign of changing personality yet. Seraphim Boa still can’t say no to helping Luffy.” The swordsman waved his arm toward the deck. “Even Kuma, who’s supposedly nothing but a weapon, came all the way across the world to help his daughter!”

That’s true, Sanji realized. I even saw it at the time, didn’t I?

“So, don’t count yourself out so easy, cook.” Zoro leaned in closer again to poke him in the chest. “If you start changing, I need you to tell us. Tell us, so that we can save you. We’ve got Robin and Chopper and at least 1/7^th of a Vegapunk…we can figure it out.”

Sanji couldn’t help smiling at that. “You forgot one stubborn-ass houseplant.”

The swordsman grinned back. “Always, pretty-brows.”

            Sanji’s brain might have shorted out for a moment, because the next thing he knew, he had sunk his fingers into the swordsman’s green hair and yanked him into a kiss. Zoro’s hair was softer than he’d imagined, and so were his lips…but he wasn’t kissing back.

Shit, shit, shit! Sanji recoiled and his hands gripped at his own hair instead. Stupid love-cook! What’s wrong with you?!

“Curls, what…”

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have…” Sanji grit his teeth. Shouldn't have assumed you felt this way too, he finished in his head. “I need to go…”

         “Wait, Sanji!”

A calloused hand closed around his wrist, but it was the use of his name – which Zoro had only ever used at his most earnest – that kept him from fleeing. He turned toward the swordsman to see his tan cheeks flushed and an expression that looked confused but…maybe a little hopeful.

The swordsman cleared his throat. “It’s not that I didn’t like it. I just…you surprised me, that’s all.”

The cook felt his own cheeks heating. “Yeah, uh…kinda surprised myself, to be honest. You…don’t mind?”

“Depends.” Zoro’s hand grazed his cheek, pushing back his fringe of hair just enough to show both his eyes. “Did you mean it?”

Sanji swallowed. “Yeah, I think I do.”

Zoro flashed him a grin, that challenging grin that Sanji loved. “Then kiss me again, love-cook.”

            Which was how Sanji ended up ten minutes later fully in the swordsman’s lap, making out with his friend-rival like they were a couple of horny teenagers. Or like this was one of their fights that had just taken another form.

“Fuck, how are you so good at this?” Sanji panted when he briefly paused for breath. Because there was a hunger in the way Zoro kissed, in the way his hands roamed over the cook’s body, but also a tenderness he hadn’t expected.

Zoro gave a pleased smirk. “Hey, c’mon – you already know I can do unusual things with my mouth. Wanna learn some more?”

“Ha. Pervert.” But a few drops of blood trickling from his nose betrayed his own thoughts.

The swordsman kissed him again, licking the blood off his upper lip.

“Gross.”

“Don’t lie, you love it.”

           Zoro tilted his head to look at him. “Seriously, though…what brought this on all of a sudden?”

“Mmm. Maybe it was how sinful your ass looks in this,” Sanji half joked, hands sliding down to grip the jumpsuit-clad butt in question.

The swordsman groaned. “Fuck. It’s yours, cook.”

Sanji blinked at him. “What, seriously?” Considering all the jokes he’d grown up hearing, that manly-man Zoro would so casually say that! “You’d really let me…”

“If you want, sure.” The swordsman grabbed his hips and pulled him closer, drawing a moan from the cook as he felt their erections grind together through the fabric. “Or we could do it the other way around. Or I could suck you off. Maybe under the table while you’re writing your recipes, hmm?”

         The cook’s nose was bleeding in earnest now as he rocked against the swordsman. His hands fell against Zoro’s chest, the muscles of it well defined under the smooth fabric. He squeezed them together. “Shit. Could I…could I fuck your tits?”

“Tsk. They’re not…” Zoro paused, and then chuckled. “Sure, cook. You can have all of that.” He gripped Sanji’s hips, holding him still. “On one condition.”

The sudden lack of friction felt like torture, but Sanji didn’t whine, sensing that this was actually important. “What?”

The swordsman’s steely grey eye met his. “You want part of me, you get all of me, cook. I don’t wanna be sneaking around pretending we’re not a thing, just to, to, prop up your ladies-man reputation.”

          And, oh, that made sense, didn’t it? Because Zoro was all about loyalty and honesty, and Sanji had already guessed that he would want those things in return. All of me. The phrase made his chest glow with warmth. Because that was what he had wanted, wasn’t it? He just had never guessed he’d find it here. “OK, marimo. All of you, for all of me.”

The swordsman’s eyebrows raised. “Really? Just like that?”

The cook kissed him lightly, and shrugged. “Well, I might need to ease into the idea of shouting from the rooftops about it. But I don’t wanna have to hide our love from the crew, either.”

“Love, huh?” the corner of Zoro’s mouth curled up, but the fondness in his eye removed any sting from the words.

“Hey, you know what I’m like, marimo,” Sanji countered. “You can’t go saying romantic shit all evening if you don’t want me to fall for you!”

         “All evening, eh?” Zoro’s hands slipped under the hem of his shirt and traced over his back. “What did I say earlier?”

“Hah. Well, if you want the REAL answer to ‘What brought this on?’...”

“I do.”

Sanji buried his face in the crook of Zoro’s neck. “It was the ‘always’,” he muttered. “You know, after you’d already said you wanted to see me find the All Blue, and for me to see you become Greatest Swordsman…”

Zoro chuckled, and the cook felt strong fingers stroking his hair. “Shit, yeah. Kinda sounded like a proposal, huh? No wonder!”

Sanji’s stomach dropped. “So, you didn’t…”

The swordsman’s arm tightened around his back. “I didn’t think how it would sound. But I meant it. I want you by my side through this whole adventure, cook…and probably into whatever comes next, if you’ll have me.”

“Stupid marimo!” Sanji muttered, and kissed him soundly enough that he couldn’t possibly doubt the answer.

            But then…

“Lilith! You’re OK!” Nami exclaimed from the other room.

And Sanji remembered that they were in someone else’s kitchen, and that there were injured teammates just outside…

He groaned. “Damn. Uh. Continue this later?”

“Sure, cook.” The swordman’s expression was fond. “Go check on the lady.” Then his lip twisted into a smirk. “You might want to clean up your face first, though.”

The cook flipped him off before sky-walking up to the sink.

If I’m a disheveled, nose-bleeding mess, it’s your fault, stupid sexy marimo.

~

            Luffy, of course, was overjoyed to learn that the other Vegapunks were – at least in some technical sense – still alive. And Usopp hadn’t stopped being excited since reuniting with his giant friends and learning that their next destination was Elbath. So, the resulting victory party was raucous even by Straw Hat standards! Absinthe flowed like water, Chopper and Franky were dancing on the tables to the accompaniment of Brook’s guitar, Luffy and Bonney gnawed on chunks of meat bigger than their entire bodies, Robin (though wounded) glowed quietly in her chair - the potential terror of a third buster call eclipsed by her joy in being surrounded by friends and the knowledge that the collective wisdom of Ohara, and an old friend, still lived on.

            And through it all twirled their curly-browed cook: Back in his dapper suit (with the blue and pink tie), not just supplying food, but dancing with Lilith, singing along with Usopp…and not infrequently sending a wink or a pink-cheeked glance in the direction of their swordsman who, like Robin, was enjoying the view from a slightly quieter position. As entertaining as an angry Sanji was, Zoro reflected that happy Sanji was probably even better. Happy Sanji had been much rarer, in his experience…most often revealed in moments like these, when he was caught up in the celebration and forgot to put on a show of toughness or gallantry, or when he lost himself in cooking or telling someone for the first time about his dream ocean. That wide, childlike smile and carefree laugh were beautiful, and Zoro quietly resolved to do what he could to make sure they were seen and heard more often.

            “Heeey, marimooo!” the cook called, wandering over. “Why haven’t you danced with me?”

Zoro blinked at his…boyfriend’s?...beaming face. “Uh. Not exactly a dancer, cook.” Is this really how he wants to announce this?

Sanji pouted. “Boo. What a cad you are, marimo, letting me languish as a wallflower…”

“OK, OK, jeez.” Zoro stood up and stretched. “We can try, I guess.”

The cook seized his hand and dragged him out into the middle of the deck. There were some whispers as their crewmates tried to make sense of the scene, but Zoro ignored them, in favor of enjoying the feeling of Sanji’s arm around his waist, his precious hand in his, and that bright smile. Which is also why it took him a moment to realize: “Are you leading?”

A curly eyebrow lifted. “You gotta problem with that, marimo?”

“Only if it were all the time. Not when I already said I didn’t know what I was doing.”

           He swayed along with the cook, stepping back if Sanji stepped forward, and vice-versa. It wasn’t too different from when they sparred, actually, with each responding to the other’s movement. Or, no, it was more like when they fought side-by-side, their moves playing off each other with no words needed.

“Hey. You know we talked about later,” he said, quietly enough that they wouldn’t be overheard. “You wanna head over to the ‘Sunny’?”

Sanji grinned at him. “I thought you’d never ask.”

            They got distracted several times along the way, stumbling along with arms around each other’s shoulders and stopping to kiss in doorways and halls. Finally, they made it to the boys’ dorm.

Hmm. Definitely going to need a better location eventually, Zoro thought. But… he added as Sanji pushed him down on his bunk, that’s a problem for later!

For now, all he cared about was how lucky he was to have the gorgeous, infuriating crewmate he’d always assumed would never be interested in him – to the point that he’d chosen to ignore his own feelings about the cook – looking at him with such love and lust in his eyes.

            “Off!” Sanji ordered, throwing his own jacket on the upper bunk and tugging at Zoro’s black tee.

Zoro was happy to comply, especially when it meant Sanji’s smooth hands greedily stroking and squeezing at the diligently cultivated muscles of his chest. However, it wouldn’t be fair if he was the only one showing skin, so he reached down and began undoing the buttons of the cook’s trousers.

Sanji groaned and lifted his hips, allowing Zoro to slide the pants down, revealing… “Lace?”

           The cook’s face blanched. “Shit. Uh. I forgot…I mean, I don’t usually…”

Zoro wasn’t sure why the cook was acting squirrely all of a sudden – but what else was new? He kissed him gently, hoping that would soothe the anxiety. “That’s hot.”

Sanji’s face went from white to pink. “Eh?”

“Not to sound like Brook…but can I see ‘em? Please?”

“O...OK.” Sanji shimmied out of his black pants, and…

         “Shit.” The panties were blue with black lace trim, perfectly setting off the cook’s miles of leg. “That’s really hot.”

“Yeah?” The cook still sounded a little anxious, but also flattered. “Didn’t know you’d be into that, marimo.”

Neither did Zoro, but he suspected he might be into anything the cook chose to wear. He settled the cook back in his lap. “Hmm. Then you didn’t wear these for me?”

His fingers traced around the lace edges, and Sanji shivered as they brushed his skin. “I got into the flow of dressing up and forgot, actually. They…I like how they make me feel.”

“And how’s that?”

"Sexy. Strong, somehow. And, uh,” Sanji coughed. “Pretty, I guess?”

“Well, you’re definitely all of those things,” Zoro said, making the cook flush even redder, all the way up to his ears. “So, they suit you.”

            As he spoke, he’d been feeling up as much of the cook’s legs as he could reach. This had not escaped notice. “Find something else you like?”

“Fuck, yeah. Always loved your legs.”

Sanji raised his brow. “Always, huh?”

“Are you kidding? One of the first things I saw you do was go into an upside-down splits and kick eight guys in the face at once!” Zoro squeezed at a milky thigh, feeling the corded muscle underneath smooth skin. “These are deadly weapons, cook.”

Sanji laughed. “Right, yeah. I guess we did already establish that you’re into that, huh?”

“Mmmhmm. The times I’ve pictured what I’d do with these around my neck…” Which was true; just because he hadn't let himself think about dating Sanji didn't mean his brain didn't throw out a dirty image now and again.

The room blurred, and Zoro abruptly found himself looking down at Sanji, who had used the leg strength they’d just been discussing to lock his knees around Zoro’s waist and flip them! The cook grinned wickedly and released the swordsman just long enough to cross his ankles behind Zoro’s neck. “Well, then. I suppose you’d better put your money where your mouth is, marimo.”

And so he did.

            Some time later, Zoro was jolted awake by someone banging open the door and caroling: “Hooray, hooray, for the giant isle…”

Sanji, nestled warmly in the swordsman’s arms, grumbled but didn’t wake up.

“SHHH!” Luffy stage whispered. “Zoro ‘n Sanji’re sleeping.”

“But Sanji’s bunk is…” Usopp began, before uttering a muffled squeak. “Luffy, we should go.”

“Huh? Why? ‘m sleepy.”

“B’cause I like my head attached ‘n not caved in or on fire.”

“Mmm. Whatever,” Luffy yawned. “I’m goin’ to bed.”

“Fine. But if they’re mad we saw ‘em...cuddling, you’ll defend me, right?”

“K. Hey, but you gotta admit I was right they don’t hate each other!”

Zoro tucked his nose into golden hair that smelled of chamomile soap and smoke and spices, and smiled as he drifted back off to sleep.