Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a very dull day in Tokyo, Japan. Akashi Seijuurou, captain of the Rakuzan Basketball Team, walked out of the train station after arriving in the city he resided in during his time in Teiko Junior High. 

This was not pointless travel, however, because Akashi doesn’t do pointless things. He carefully calculates every. Individual. Move. So, he was out buying a new pair of scissors to threaten Kise with.

Kise, the blond model, who NEVER EATS ANYTHING. Kuroko is almost as bad, but at least he realizes that he needs to eat to survive. Aomine eats (too much, to be honest), and Murasakibara is always eating something, same with Satsuki. He hopes the pink-haired manager isn’t eating her own cooking though, because that is straight-up poison. Midorima is trying to, quote unquote, ‘follow his destiny’, and apparently that includes eating, so Akashi’s fine with it. 

But Kise-kun is actually going to starve to death.

And if he dies, then Akashi can’t kill him.

Now Akashi’s finding a place to buy a new pair of scissors, the vaguely threatening kind, and some food so he can march over to Kise’s school and force him to eat.

. . . . .

Akaashi Keiji’s day is almost over.

Fukurodani’s volleyball practices are always weirdly chaotic, whether it be Bokuto in his emo mode for the fourth time that day, or walking into the gym and seeing that all the volleyballs were painted bright pink (courtesy of the third-years, who don’t have anything other than PRANK in their dictionary). All the shenanigans that happened on a daily basis left Akaashi exhausted (and slightly amused, which he would never admit ).

But today, practice was oddly normal.

Yes, you heard him. Practice was NORMAL. 

Akaashi doesn’t even know why he’s complaining about that. Bokuto seemed to be doing perfectly fine that day, and everything else was pristine. Not even a speck of dust on those old chairs in the corner of the gym. 

The weird thing was that when anyone looked at Akaashi, they looked mildly terrified.

Finally, practice ended. It was a Saturday, so there was only afternoon practice. Once everyone left, Bokuto and Akaashi finished clearing up the gym. Usually, this responsibility falls to the first years of the team, but Bokuto, being as energetic as he is, always requests for extra practice.

It’s slightly endearing to Akaashi, seeing the amount of work he puts into volleyball. Even after playing with him, he still can’t get rid of the awe and pride he feels when Bokuto pulls off one of his amazing spikes.

Akaashi snaps back to attention when Bokuto turns and grins at him.

“‘KAAASHIIII, CAN YOU SET FOR MEEEE? Please?”

He looks at Bokuto and sighs. “Of course I’ll set for you, Bokuto-san. You don’t even have to ask.”

“But I have to make sure ‘Kaashi’s okay with it!” he responds, voice full of enthusiasm.

I will be, if you’re the one asking me- “Bokuto-san, you know I’ll never say no to anything you’d ask me.”

“REALLY?”

“Yes, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi deadpans at him.

“Then call me Bokuto!” 

“Sure, Boku-” Hold on, what- “Could you say that again?”

Bokuto looks at him, with one of the most serious looks Akaashi has seen on his face. “Could you just call me Bokuto?”

“But -uhm- it’d be disrespecting you?” Akaashi fumbles with his response, quickly losing his usual sense of calm.

“PLEASE, ‘KAASHI?” Bokuto replies, all the seriousness from earlier gone, as though it was never there.

Akaashi is still reeling from Bokuto’s expression, which he’s sure was on his face a second ago. “Uh-”

“It’s okay, ‘Kaashi, I’m not trying to pressure you into it. It’s just that-,” Bokuto looks oddly nervous, ”-..uh.. E-everyone else calls me Bokuto, and you can call me Bokuto too, if you want..?”

“I’ll think about it, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says, hoping that his calm demeanor isn’t betraying what he feels right now. B-Bokuto-san?? Or n-not? HUH?? 

Bokuto continues, energetic as ever. “Okay, if you’ll always say yes to me, then come with me to buy some ice-cream after practice!”

“S-sure.. Bokuto-san. What flavor?”

“I don’t know, what do you want?”

To die of embarrasment on the floor. “Whatever you want, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi hopes Bokuto doesn’t notice the warm tinge to it at the end.

. . . . .

Akabane Karma was having a fantastic day. It’s finally delinquent season! 

The red-head was strolling around town, looking for victims- no, no, people, to… deliver some wasabi too. Yeah. Let’s go with that. Deliver, in a creative way.

It’s the artist in him. 

Karma snickers at his own joke.

Anyways, Karma decided to go to the nearby park, since there were many cafes and stores surrounding the area. It was also just a nice day, and the park is a great place to find some delinquents- no, let off some steam. Aka, many people to traumatize, and many cartons of strawberry milk just conveniently waiting to be bought right around the corner from them.

So the boy walked into the park, and saw the most adorable, chibi-looking, “kawaii” (according to Rio) lemonade stand with a long, long line of people waiting to buy their lemonade.

Which was a little strange for, y’know, a kid’s lemonade stand. Why so many people?

Curious, Karma sauntered over, rudely cutting in front of people who were patiently waiting in line, to see who was the mastermind of this plan, who was probably a fifteen year old girl and her sister. Most likely.

Finally, he made it to the front of the line and saw a VERY familiar boy with strawberry blonde hair wearing a white apron and greeting customers.

Karma’s jaw drops open.

One thought flashes through his mind.

That is definitely not a fifteen year old girl.

That is Asano, Class A topper, and school president. And upon seeing him, currently one of the most annoyed people on the planet.

“Oh my… are my eyes working correctly?” Karma taunts, barely holding back his laughter. “Is THE Asano Gakushuu, son of the principal of the most PRESTIGIOUS Kunugigaoka Junior High, first place winner in countless academic competitions, out here, selling lemonade?! I didn’t know you were secretly that broke.”

Asano looked mortified. Actually, mortified is a big understatement. The poor guy’s cheeks are flushed a bright red as blood rushes to his face. It's a nice change from his usual stoicness.

“Shut UP, Akabane.” He hisses quietly, trying not to scare off his customers.

Wait, now that I look at it, most of Asano’s customers are women. Hell, even the old grandmas at the park are coming over here to fawn over him! Actually most of the customers buying from here look like middle school girls. 

The small crowd gathered around the stand coos at Asano’s blush, which further intensifies the other's embarrassment. Karma gives him his traditional Cheshire Cat smile to add onto the suffering.

Suddenly, something interrupts his train of thought concerning the strawberry-blonde in front of him. More like someone, actually.

A tall person, with white and black hair spiked straight up (it looks strangely like an owl’s?), wearing a white and gray jacket loosely placed around his shoulders (is that a school logo?), walked to the front of the line and eagerly slammed his hands on the lemonade table.

“ ‘KAASHIII-, CAN WE GET SOME LEMONADEEEEE?!?!?!!?!?!” He turned around, looking at another person, wearing the same jacket.

“Bokuto-san, there’s a line,” a boy with jet-black hair, and sharp green eyes casually walked up to him, replying smoothly, an exasperated look on his face. 

“We’re so sorry, -uhm-, Asano-san, I presume? From his comment earlier?” The man pointed at Karma, signifying who called him Asano.  Though, Karma would have figured it out anyway. The guy’s personality is oddly relaxing, while Mr. Owl slightly reminds him of Koro-sensei a little.

Asano flashes him his people-smile, which Karma knows is fake, and replies to him. “It’s okay, sir, you two can have a free pass for today.” He flashes the waiting customers another charismatic smile, and they all seem to melt at his "cute" face, agreeing with the decision.

“You can call me Akaashi.” The man, no, Akaashi, says. “And thank you. Sorry for the trouble, Asano-san.”

“No problem.”

Karma chimes in. “Do I get a free pass too?”

“No, Bakabane.” Asano glares at him, putting his soul into it.

“...What about a free lemonade instead?” Karma leans onto the side of the lemonade stand, acting overly obnoxious.

“I will kick you, Bakabane.”

“Just call me Karma for once.” He scowls at Asano.

“Nope. Can’t have people thinking I’m chummy with you.” Asano returns his scowl, full force.

Karma mockingly wipes tears from his eyes. “Rude. And here I thought we were friends…”

“Then you’re delusional.” Asano deadpans.

Karma was about to retort back when someone coughed behind him.

Akaashi looked at the two with a raised eyebrow. Behind him was Mr. Owl looking between the two, borderline confused.

“Akaashi,” he not-so-quietly whispered, “are they dating?”

There was a moment of silence between the four. 

A thought crossed almost all of their minds.

Wait… WHAT!??!?!?

The two junior high rivals yelled a loud “NO!” while Akaashi whipped around, slack-jawed at Bokuto’s comment.

“I’M SORRY, YOU TWO JUST LOOK LIKE A-” Bokuto frantically waved his arms in exaggerated motions, as if that would explain his earlier remark.

“Bokuto-san, quieter!” Akaashi clamps a hand over the taller one’s mouth.

And suddenly, Karma hit with a weird sense of déjà vu.

This is kinda like how Bitch-Sensei and Karasuma-sensei act…

“The better question is, are YOU TWO a couple?” Karma fires back with a devilish grin. When in doubt, flip the situation onto the person who's accusing you of whatever. This is a tactic I usually use on average small fry, so I guess it should work on these two.

Akaashi, ever the calm one, seemed to throw his composure out the window, his cheeks rapidly turning red. Mr. Owl- Bokuto, doesn’t do much better, and only flushes a light shade of pink, again stuttering out a response and waving his hands in exaggerated motions. “N-no, we’re not! It’s just a spiker and his setter, haha!”

Before Karma could question them further, some little kid asked when they could get their lemonade.

The four suddenly seemed to realize exactly where they were having this conversation. The people in the line, standing behind them couldn’t hear what exactly they were talking about, but it was probably confusing. But they were probably getting impatient, and one of Asano's deceptive smiles probably won't be enough to quell that feeling.

Karma whips back to Asano. “So, about that free glass of lemonade you promised me…”

“I never promised YOU any lemonade.”

Karma grins. “If you don’t give me lemonade I’ll spike your entire batch with hot sauce.” He holds up a tiny bottle, just so Asano knows he isn’t joking.

Asano scowls at him, but doesn’t say anything. He poured the three some lemonade, and started serving some other customers, making a little small talk.

“Wait, but we didn’t finish our conversationnnn,” Karma whines. He really wanted to get more out of the two who proclaim that they aren’t a couple (but come on, they probably are).

Asano sighs, as if he expected this to happen.

“Just wait for ten minutes and my shift will end.”

Karma feigns shock. “You have shifts?! This is a kids' lemonade stand. Asano!”

“Just shut up and leave. You’re lucky that I’m honoring your request to talk in the first place, Bakabane.” Asano gives him one last glare.

And of course, being the kind and amazing gentleman he is, Karma doesn’t leave. Instead, he stays for the WHOLE TEN MINUTES and annoys the hell out of Asano with comments like “Aww, Asano, your chibi lil’ apron and stall makes you look SO kawaii!” (that one earned him a punch in the shoulder, which hurt a LOT. He forgot Asano does martial arts).

---

Akaashi and Bokuto, quite the queer duo, just kinda watch and sip their lemonades, enjoying the banter. 

“You’re sure they're not dating right?” Bokuto whispers (yes, he actually whispers this time).

“Honestly, I have no idea at this point,” Akaashi replies, watching the boys’ interactions carefully (no he totally isn't stalking them, he’s just analyzing their behavior). “The redhead seems kind of sadistic, doesn’t he.”

Bokuto shivers. “He’s like Kurobro, but worse. And the Asano guy reminds me of Tsukki, but it looks like he thinks more Kenma-y…” The dual haired man suddenly seems to be in deep thought, probably having flashbacks of the recent training camp.

“Their relationship is pretty confusing though,”

“Yeah… Wait, isn’t it like a rivals to lovers thing?” Bokuto tilts his head.

Akaashi looks like a lightbulb went off above. “That’s exactly right, Bokuto-san!” His lips twitch, giving Bokuto a full view of one of his rare smiles, bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked, and altogether beautiful smiles. “You’re so smart, Bokuto-san!”

Bokuto malfunctions, that one brain cell no longer cooperating. “Y-yeah, I am smart! Hey, hey, hey!!!” He rapidly looks away, trying to push thoughts of aggressively hugging Akaashi until the other either melts or passes out.

---

“See, I TOLD you that they’re a couple!” Karma whisper-yelled.

“Okay, you are BANNED from this lemonade stand. Leave me alone,” Asano scowls at him. “And don’t meddle in their love life!”

“I’m just making observations! And don’t act like you’re not also intrigued by these two!”

“If you stop talking, I’ll buy you a carton of strawberry milk.”

“Really?!” Stars seem to shine in Karma’s eyes, and Asano is vaguely reminded of ‘making a deal with the devil’. 

Asano facepalms. “Yes… but for the love of GOD, don’t do anything that will make me regret it, Akabane.”

Karma slowly starts smiling. “Y’know, there were other ways to make me shut up, but this was by far the second best one.”

“TIME STARTS NOW, BAKABANE.” 

“Fine…”

---

Chapter Text

Akashi walks into a park, looking around for some gifts to buy for Kise.

And that pair of scissors, but that’s irrelevant.

Anyways, the point is to intimidate Kise. But Kise probably wouldn’t eat without a bribe. And you can only bribe Kise with sweets.

Which is why Akashi found himself standing inside an ice cream shop, browsing the options and contemplating what to buy. 

Do ice cream shops even sell- 

Oh wait, never mind.

A perfect pair of scissors was sitting right next to a pint of pistachio ice cream, which was weird, because this is an ice cream shop, and he really should have gone to a convenience store for this, but it’s there now.

Is this plot convenience?? I thought that only happened in books, or in badly written comics, according to Aomine. Oh well, it’s helpful, I guess.

Akashi will never know why Kise likes pistachio ice cream, but if he doesn’t eat the stuff that Akashi specifically bought for him, he’s going to get stabbed.

As he took the ice cream (and the scissors) to the cash register and paid for it. -Oh, they actually let me buy the scissors? Maybe it was because the clerk billing my items looked scared out of his mind…- Akashi silenced his phone, turning off the notifications for the Generation of Miracles group chat. He then walked outside, taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

He looked around and saw two young men, probably a year or two older than him. One had spikey, white hair with black streaks, making him look like an owl (odd hairstyle, but honestly, can he judge people for that? Murasakibara’s hair is literally purple.). The other had normal, black hair which curled around his ears, and a stoic expression on his face, contrasting with his companion.

Akashi takes note of this pair, and then notices a slightly more destructive problem. There’s two kids trying to pummel each other at a lemonade stand, and that too a KIDS lemonade stand.

Two middle schoolers, probably, judging by their heights. A redhead and a strawberry blonde. The blonde’s wearing an apron, so Akashi’s guessing that he’s supposed to be running the stand, but it looks like he’s a little preoccupied.

Now the real question is, why is Mr. Owl cheering them on?-

. . . . .

Bokuto was having an interesting day. Rather than getting ice cream like he and Akaashi originally planned, they ended up getting lemonade and a bunch of new friends!

This is almost as fun as playing volleyball with Akaashi!

Now his new friends were in an argument, and like all of Fukurodani’s third years, Bokuto loved drama (don’t tell them, it’ll ruin Akaashi’s view of him!). It provided so much entertainment! So instead of trying to stop the fight like any normal person, he decided to egg them on (which was probably why he and Kuroo, and technically Suga from Karasuno, got along so well) 

Suddenly, a person coughed behind them. Bokuto stopped cheering for a moment and spun around to see a boy with red hair, holding some pistachio ice cream, and menacingly lifting up a pair of scissors. He jumps. “EeEK-!” Oh no, my voice cracked, I hope Akaashi didn't hear it!

Akaashi sweatdrops.

Who knew Bokuto-san’s –I mean Bokuto’s?!– voice could be that high-pitched?? 

And then he sees the scissors, yelps, and backs away into Bokuto-san’s weirdly solid chest. 

Let’s ignore that observation.

“Could you please tell me what’s going on here? Why are two junior high students… fighting in the middle of a public park?” the ‘scissors boy’ inquires.

Akaashi responds calmly as he can to the person that’s menacingly holding up scissors. “I think they’re rivals? From what I can tell, they do this whenever they see each other.”

“Akaashi, I’m scared!” Bokuto whispers.

“How do you know my name?” The stranger tilts his head.

“What do you mean? This is Akaashi,” Bokuto replies, as he points to the black-haired boy, “and he’s the bestest person in the whole world!”

“Best, Bokuto-san, and no, I am not. Is your name Akaashi, too?” Akaashi asks.

“Yeah.” He replies.

Akaashi thinks for a second. “One or two 'A' s?”

“Just one.”

“Cool, mine has two.”

Bokuto, being the Bokuto he is, just looks back and forth, between the two as they have their conversation, while the two junior high kids are still fighting in the corner. 

“WAIT! SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT NOW I KNOW TWO AKAASHIS’? I’m so lucky!” he shouts, with stars in his eyes (and proceeds to almost fall over). 

Akashi side-eyes him, and Akaashi sighs.

Bokuto grins. “Okay, my Akaashi is ‘Kaashi -he points at the Fukurodani volleyball player-, and you are Akashi number 2 -he points at the redhead-, because my ‘Kaashi’s the most important to me.” He beams even brighter after that statement.

Akashi side-eyes him again. Like the kind of side-eye where you narrow your eyes and slide them to the side, as if you’re trying to be subtle about it, but sassy at the same time. It reminds Bokuto of his friend Tsukki’s side-eye.

Akaashi, on the other hand, is painfully struggling to keep the blush off his face.

“Bokuto-san, don’t say that. It’s rude,” he somehow manages to say, keeping a neutral expression.

“But why?!”

“He’s technically a stranger, Bokuto-san, not your friend who you can joke to. You can’t immediately become friends with anyone you meet.” Akaashi shakes his head.

“It’s possible, though!”

Akaashi racks his brain for something. “Don’t make me call Kuroo-san…”

Bokuto’s face brightens more than humanly possible. Akaashi swears, knowing that he’s going to regret saying that. (He knows people like Hinata Shouyou; if Hinata can’t beam that bright, something extraordinary is about to start.) Someone could never pull off that happy, mischievous look as well as Bokuto. “OOH, GOOD IDEA!!!! KUROO WOULD LOVE TO WATCH THIS!”

And yep. Akaashi DEFINITELY regrets bringing Kuroo up. The two harbingers of chaos really know how to annoy someone (most likely himself) out of their mind with their pranks. 

And he somehow missed the possible scenarios where this would happen. 

Is Bokuto finally outsmarting me?  

“...I really should have said Kenma.”

“I’m telling Oikawa you said that he should have went to Shiratorizawa-”

“No-” Akaashi is definitely being outsmarted.

The other Akashi clears his throat, regaining the attention of the two volleyball players. “Are you two done flirting?” the redhead inquires, raising an eyebrow.

This time, Akaashi falls over. 

Not Bokuto. 

AKAASHI.  

The irony.

Once again, the ever so stoic setter tries to hide the redness creeping up his face. 

Bokuto, on the other hand, didn’t even try to hide his flush. Akaashi didn’t think it was possible for a human to turn that shade of red. But then again, he also didn’t think it possible And for once in his life, the boisterous spiker had been stunned into silence. (No ‘Hey, hey, HEY’S’ from this owl anymore.) 

And of course, at that exact moment, the two self-proclaimed “enemies” from the lemonade stand come back into the picture.

Great timing.

Asano greets them with a “friendly” smile. It looks like he’s three seconds away from spewing the most unholy stream of curses at Karma. Or three seconds away from punching him. Maybe both. “Hello, Akaashi, and Bokuto, and... newcomer. Is he one of your friends?”

And just like that, the setter-spiker duo unfreeze, promptly forgetting about Akashi’s earlier statement.

Bokuto grins. “Yeah!”

Akaashi sighs, from his position on the cold, hard, unforgiving ground. “No, he’s not-” 

Bokuto chimes in. “Not yet!”

“-We kind of just met him here. He was concerned about you two, and for Bokuto since he was encouraging your fighting , which he shouldn’t be doing .” And with that, Akaashi gave the ace a pointed stare.

Bokuto quivers and wilts .

Akashi facepalms. “I quite literally threatened them with a pair of scissors.”

“You did that on purpose?” Akaashi stares at him with some kind of open-mouthed, dumbfounded look. Then he shakes his head. “Nevermind, back to topic. He’s not exactly a close friend.”

Karma pops in, from who knows where. “Scissors? You could do better. Try a real knife.”

“Scissors are more… convenient.”

“You can buy a pocket knife at the nearest store.” Karma deadpans.

“But no one will question me for holding scissors.” Akashi explains.

“I questioned you! So did these two!” He points at the setter-spiker duo.

Asano sighs. “You’re a freak of nature. You question everything. Now let’s KINDLY stop talking about knives and scissors. People are staring. One looks seconds away from calling the cops on us.”

“Awwww… why did you stop them??? They were just getting to the good part!” Bokuto pouts.

Akaashi looks at him. “What good part? Do you even know what they were talking about?”

“Murder.” Akashi says.

“Cake!” Bokuto says.

For the umpteenth time today, Akaashi facepalms. Either at Bokuto’s sheer obliviousness or idiocy, he really doesn’t know. But what he does know is that they desperately need a change of topic. “So, uh-, Karma, Asano. What are you guys doing in school right now? Actually,  what year are you guys? Bokuto’s in his third year and I’m in my second year of highschool. We both go to Fukurodani High School.” 

For some reason, Asano tenses at the mention of school. Not that much. Just a little. But it’s enough to make Akaashi slightly concerned. Or maybe he didn’t finish his homework. “We’re 15. We go to Kunugigaoka Junior High School. And we’re in our third year.”

Karma snorts. “He’s there ‘cuz his dad’s the principal.”

At ‘principal’, something flashes in Asano’s eye. “Akabane. You need to shut up. Now .”

Akaashi doesn’t know what the heck is going on, but it feels like Karma’s crossed a line.

The air around the group seems to shift, and so does Asano’s demeanor. It was a low blow, but was it really that insulting?

Akashi decides to break the silence. “I’m in my first year at Rakuzan High School.”

Asano seems to remember something. “Oh. You’re one of the ‘Generation of Miracles’, aren’t you? You guys were really good at basketball.”

Akashi smiles. “Yeah, me and my team split up for this year, though. Apparently our Phantom ‘Sixth Man’ is trying to beat everyone this year.”

“Wait, isn't Rakuzan in Kyoto, though? What are you doing all the way in Tokyo?” Karma asks, apparently feeling left out.

Akashi calmly takes his scissors out of his pocket. “I’m actually here for one of my old middle school teammates.”

“To kill?” Akaashi questions in a calm manner. Too calm for someone who is talking about murder, but to be fair, it doesn’t compare to the scissors vs. knives conversation Karma and Akashi had earlier.

“Well, if he doesn’t eat, then yes. But no, I’m here to make sure he gets his 3 meals per day.”

Bokuto’s forehead wrinkles. “That’s nice though! ‘Kaashi also threatens me to keep my health up, otherwise he won’t do extra spiking practice with me!”

Akaashi deadpans. “That’s not going to kill you.”

“Yes it will!” Bokuto pouts.

Karma smiles, his little demonic grin. “Asano, I’m going to kill you in pole toppling.” And he somehow got that from the word ‘kill’?

Asano swears under his breath. “We’re going to win, Akabane. Not you.”

Karma chuckles, as if he knows something everyone else doesn’t. “Oh, really, Mr. Student Council President?” He looks at some area in the distance, as if something’s there.

All Akaashi sees is an oddly round yellow lemon in the place he’s staring at. Weird.

“...Should we know what you two are talking about or are you going to clue us in on this discussion?” Akashi deadpans, speaking for the confused trio.

Karma grins. “Kunigigaoka has this.. tradition, where they try to crush my class in various events, and make us feel like failures.”

“That’s… concerning.”

Asano rolls his eyes. “Karma, you’re in the lowest class our school has to offer. Most people in your class are probably failures.”

Karma’s grin sharpens at the insult towards his friends. “And you’re a failure at having fun. All you precocious Class-A students all suck at having basic human decency. You all should get a life . Because the people I know might be failures right now, but they won’t be forever. We are going to crush you, you and the president’s brainwashed minions, and your stupid fucking opinion.”

“I’d like to see you try-” Asano snarls, but is interrupted by Akaashi, who was trying to prevent the two middle schoolers from fighting in front of an ice cream shop.

“How about we move on to another topic. Uh-” the setter starts, clearly unable to think of anything.

Bokuto shouts, pointing at some place. “Look over there! It’s a smiling lemon!”

Asano and Karma’s head whip towards the spot he’s pointing to. “What-” Asano looks confused, and Karma looks… somewhat entertained?

“What lemon?” Akaashi asks. He swore there was a lemon in that exact spot earlier. Now it’s just a pile of freshly dug earth.

Asano whips his back to Karma. “Look, here, Akabane. Not all of us are delinquents. And I don’t work for my father . Maybe some of my peers steadfastly follow his ideologies, but I’m trying to take down this controlling hierarchy he’s put up.” Asano’s expression turns weirdly defensive, as if there’s something more to the story. “I will never side with my father.”

Karma waves him off, disrupting the moment. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. Anyways, I have decided that we are all friends now -minus Mr. President of course- and we should have a group chat.”

Bokuto perked up at the idea, whereas Akaashi knew that he would quite literally regret this for the rest of his life.

Akashi on the other hand was intrigued by this suggestion. “That would be.. quite interesting. I’ll give it a shot, mainly because it would be fun to plan murder with you. But you do have to include Asano.”

Karma rolls his eyes. “That was sarcasm. I would never actually leave out Mr. Party Pooper. That’s for certain.” There’s a fond tone to it, contrasting from the cold one he used earlier. “And I already have his number!”

Asano frantically searches for his phone. “You- WHAT?! Wait a minute, are YOU the one who’s been sending me all of those Death Note memes?!” He finds his phone, unlocking it and checking his contacts. “I thought someone hacked me!”

Karma smiles. “You know me too well, class president.”

Asano scowls. “Stop calling me that.”

“Then call me Karma.”

“Never.”

Karma shrugs. “Cringe nicknames it is then.”

“You just admitted they suck.”

He winks. “You suck as well, Mr. Student Council President.”

Bokuto leans towards Akaashi. “Are you sure they’re not boyfriends???”

“I don’t even know anymore…”

The other Akashi joins in on this hushed discussion. “I’m guessing they don’t even realize they like each other yet. Or they’re in denial.”

“Wanna bet how long it’ll take for them to realize and come to one of us for advice?” Bokuto asks.

“Okay.” Akashi replies. “Three weeks.”  

“Two months.” Bokuto says.

The two boys shook on it, while Akaashi sweatdrops next to them. “How much are you even betting?”

“One coffee,” says Akashi. 

Bokuto grins. “Yeah, well, one cake if I win!”

Karma triumphantly raises his phone in the air. “While you were off betting money on whatever, I stole your phones and added your phone numbers to the new group chat!”

All three of them now frantically search for their phones, finding that they were indeed gone.

Asano, standing silently in the corner, sighs, and looks like witnessed a crime, which he probably did.

Karma hands everyone their phone back, not without a mischievous grin accompanying it.

And with that, the group part ways, Bokuto and Akaashi walking back together, unsurprisingly, and Akashi going over to Kaijo High to threaten- talk with- a certain blonde-haired model.

“You know, you still owe me a strawberry milk,” states Karma. “And you know what happens if you don’t keep up your end of the deal-”

Asano sighs. “Fine, Akabane. I’ll go buy you your strawberry milk.”

And so, Asano (begrudgingly) buys Karma a strawberry milk, and the two part ways as well. 

(Or do they-)

Nope, that's just a friendly octopus's intrusive thoughts.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Akashi woke up to the sound of notifications.

At 5AM.

Akashi already wakes up early on a daily basis, but 5AM.

Really?

At least he can practice some basketball before going to school.

A4+B SQUAD:

classprez: wdh is that gc name

satan: u text like a normal person. im surprised.

satan: ofc ur up at 5am mr. perfect

scissorsguy: your guys’ names are weird.

scissorsguy: i stand corrected.

mr.owl: hey hey HEY

prettysetter: huh

prettysetter: why is my name this

satan: i was gonna call u preppysetter but asano talked me out of it

prettysetter: thank god and asano

prettysetter: but also thats kinda weird becuz that’s what oikawa named another one of our gcs

satan: im psychic like that

classprez: no u suc

satan: At least type with GRAMMAR.

classprez: says u

satan: says me, i am satan

satan: u guys wanna see sum death note memes

classprez: NO-

prettysetter: No.

scissorsguy: pls no its 5AM

mr.owl: yes!

satan: ok but only cuz u guys want me to (˶◜ᵕ◝˶)

prettysetter: bokuto-san, you haven’t even read death note

mr.owl: i like notebooks and memes

mr.owl: u have nice notebooks akaashi

mr.owl: they help me pass my tests ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

prettysetter: ur welcome bokuto-san

satan:  MISA: “Wow, I could never live without Light!”

           L: “Yeah, it’d be pretty dark.” 

           LIGHT: “What?”

classprez: im turning my phone off don’t reuse memes

satan: u look at my memes?!

satan: that’s so sweet of u!

scissorsguy: how abt we stop texting so we can actually get ready for school

satan: it’s still 5am and i always arrive late to school anyway

classprez: and u say ur not a delinquent

satan: i prefer the term justice-bringer or vigilante

classprez: wdh

satan: besides i would hit my teach if he tried to stop me ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

prettysetter: …relatable

mr.owl: yep i remember kaashi saying he almost hit his teacher once

prettysetter: he said narwhals are mythological creatures

prettysetter: i was NOT going to let those narwhals be insulted like that

satan: i have gained even more respect for u now

prettysetter: thx ig

scissorsguy: in the time you were talking, i walked to school and am now playing basketball

Akashi puts down his phone, and focuses on basketball, ignoring the constant beeping of new messages.

Bucket after bucket after bucket.

Because he is not weak. With the Emperor’s Eye, Akashi will rule the court, and make all of them bow down to him.

. . . . .

Karma is, as promised, late to school again. He purposefully texts Asano in the middle of one of his classes to piss off the other.

Nagisa doesn’t even want to question his actions anymore. After ten tries, Nagisa has finally given up on trying to figure out what was going on in Karma’s head.

Korosensei hasn’t though. And Karma knows that. Especially from that stunt he pulled off yesterday.  

He was not subtle. Not at all.

Karma waits until lunch to question his teacher.

And grabs a couple of anti-koro blades from his classmates’ pockets while he’s at it.

If he’s gonna meet with his teacher, he might as well try and kill him. 

He corners the oversized octopus in one of their classrooms.

“Korosensei,” he begins in a very innocent, not at all demonic voice, “Why exactly were you stalking me yesterday?”

Korosensei sputtered. “Wh-what do you mean? I would NEVER stalk one of my precious students!” His tentacles flailed around, and he turned away from Karma.

“I would believe that more if I didn’t see you there.” Karma deadpans.

Korosensei shrinks away. “I was just worried about you, okay!”

Karma throws a knife at him. “Really. That’s so nice of you! Why exactly  are you worried about me specifically?”

Korosensei sputters again. “I didn’t know what you were doing out wandering around in the open, so as your amazing teacher, I decided to follow you to make sure you weren’t blackmailed or going to be kidnapped!” 

Karma deadpans again. “You know as well as I do that I’d be doing the blackmailing and kidnapping. So what was your real reason for following me?”

His teacher loses his nervous demeanor, and something about him now seems more mischievous. “I saw you with a Class-A student. And not just any Class-A student, you were with the student council president. My student, who cares about school the least, and Asano, who cares about school the most?”

Karma shrugs. “I mean, why not? I saw Asano and thought that it was perfect blackmail material. It’s not every day you see your rival wearing a ‘kawaii’ apron, selling low-price lemonade at the ‘cutest’ lemonade stand. Oh, and thanks for helping me steal those peoples’ phones.”

“No problem- wait a minute! KARMA, RETURN THOSE PHONES IMMEDIATELY!” Korosensei flailed his tentacles around again, more anxious than mad.

He doesn’t want those new phones to come out of his small paycheck. 

“I can’t believe this. I’m now involved in a robbery. " Korosensei “sobbed” in his tentacles, very close to reenacting his classic scene about being a ‘single mom’ caring for six children.

Karma shrugs. “Don’t you dare pull your ‘single housewife with six kids’ story on me again. And I returned their phones. How else would I communicate with my ‘new friends’?”

His teacher sags to the floor in relief, mumbling incoherent gibberish like the child he is. Karma throws a knife at him for good measure, and pulls out his phone.

A4+B SQUAD:

satan: asanooooooooo

satan: ASANOOO

satan: asano.

classprez: what. 

classprez: and thx for FINALLY calling me by my actual name

satan: hewo my kawaii class presidente

classprez: i hate u

scissorsguy: karma did u just call asano urs-

prettysetter: more importantly, WE’RE ALL IN SCHOOL

mr.owl: i don’t wanna be in schoollllll

prettysetter: BOKUTO-SAN PUT UR PHONE AWAY RN

prettysetter: i bet u he just got caught by his teacher

satan: hahaasdhjhkjghfdssfj

Korosensei steals Karma’s phone at that second. “Ooh, what’s this?? Texting I see? In school nonetheless?”

Karma throws another knife at him. “It’s literally our lunch break.”

“Not for these friends of yours…” Korosensei chuckles, his weird ( nyufufufufu) kind of laugh. “Huh, didn’t know you swung that way. No wonder setting you up with Okuda never worked…”

“You did WHAT-”

Korosensei ‘EEPS’ and jumps out the window before Karma could even try to stab him. 

His last words were, “I accept your sexualityyyyyyy-!”

. . . . .

School finally ended, meaning that Karma was free from Korosensei’s CONTINUOUS pestering. Though, Karma pesters him too, trying to blackmail him so that he could get his phone back.

It failed, obviously.

Karma was sulking outside Asano Sr.’s office, waiting for ‘his’ Asano to walk out, because, well, annoying him through text wasn’t an option.  

The wasabi enthusiast walked there after school ended (which means he parkoured down the E-Class mountains, walking is overrated), and then calmly strolled over to a vending machine and bought a strawberry and chocolate milk with Korosensei’s money.

Chocolate milk wasn’t his thing, but he did see Asano drinking it once, so it’s his ‘peace offering’.

And now he’s here, in front of the principal’s office, after threatening some students to tell him where Asano was. All in all, about 15-20 minutes.

Which was why he was sitting outside the principal’s office. With nothing to do. Because his phone was stolen by his very own teacher… (Why, Korosensei, WHY-)

Then he heard yelling coming from inside the office. Not a lot, probably like one sentence, but Karma still heard it. 

That sounds like Asano. 

Isn’t the principal his father? Why would he yell at his father?-

He heard a ‘thud’. 

The yelling stopped. 

Karma almost drops his strawberry milk.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Asano walked out of the office. With a new red, hand-shaped mark on his face. Karma was mean, but he wasn’t so insensitive that he’d make fun of that.

Karma strolled up to the leader of Class-A, who didn’t look very much like a leader anymore. Asano looked more like a hurt child than the dictator he was supposed to be.

Wordlessly, Karma handed Asano the chocolate milk, which he took gratefully. They walked out of the school in silence. 

Finally, Karma decided to break it. “The principal really sucks, doesn’t he?”

Asano looks at him, eyes dull. “Yeah.”

Karma leans back, “I really wish I could rage over this with our new friends, but my TEACHER stole my PHONE .” 

“That’s sad.”  Asano says, looking down, like his mind is elsewhere. 

“Is that new bruise from the principal?” Karma asks, a little quieter than normal.

The strawberry-blond haired teen nodded silently. “Thought you’d ask when I walked out. Most students on the campus know about this already. It isn’t really a secret. They’re all just cowards who can’t stand up to him.” Asano has a faraway look in his eye. “But, if I’m trying not to be a coward, I’m a fool, I guess, to stand up to him.”

“Better to be a fool than a coward,” Karma says. “I like fools more than cowards.”

Asano laughs, a sad, hollow sound. “Probably because you are one. A fool, I mean.”

“Oh shut up. I’m Satan, remember. Satan can get anything and everything he wants.”

“Really? But you don’t have your phone?” The light slowly starts to flood back into Asano’s eyes again, and Karma feels triumphant.

Karma gains a mischievous look in his eyes. “Well, at least I have yours .” 

Asano paused. “When did you even take my phone!?” He threw his hands up in resignation.

“A magician never reveals his secrets. And Satan won’t either.”  Karma winks. ”Anyways, what’s your password?”

“Give me back my phone, and I’ll tell you.” Asano holds out his hand.

Karma puts Asano’s chocolate milk in his outstretched palm. “Drink this or tell me your password.”

“When did you even take my chocolate milk?”

“Just now.” Karma smiles.

“And why, exactly, should I listen to you?” He says, looking smug.

“Because I have your phone, and if you don’t do what I say, then I will ask my hacker friend to find your password, so your password is still mine.”

Ritsu probably won’t give me his information, because she’s nice, but I’m for sure not telling Asano that.

Asano resigns himself to his fate, and drinks the chocolate milk. Karma sees more light return to his eyes, and he bites back a grin.

He holds out Asano’s phone facing away from him. “Type your password in.”

Asano grabs the phone, and Karma grabs his wrist. “Nuh-uh, class president. You’re not getting this back just yet.”

Asano rolls his eyes and inputs his password with his other hand. 

A4+B SQUAD:

classprez: hoi everybody i luv u all

classprez: asrdsdhyrfdrsfdjawefrksd

scissorsguy: what

mr.owl: WHAT?!

prettysetter: asano r u ok

prettysetter: asano pls don’t be drunk

classprez: asano tried to take the phone from me

sscissorsguy: karma give asano his phone back

classprez: nooooooooo

prettysetter: i should have guessed

mr.owl: hi karma! y r u using asanos phone?

classprez: its a long story

classprez: but basically my teacher stole my phone

prettysetter: and he didnt give it back?

classprez: nope cuz hes mean and he likes meddling in my business

classprez: anywayjefsefsjdosdjoaf;afs

scissorsguy: im assuming asano is trying to steal his phone back

classprez: yep

classprez: but i managed to evade him and am sitting on a tree rn

mr.owl: cool!

prettysetter: not even gonna question that

classprez: anyways do u guys wanna join me in killing asanos father

scissorsguy: normally i would say yes but why?

Karma snaps a picture of Asano’s face, perfectly capturing the bruise, and somehow making his face look beautiful at the same time. How is he so photogenic?? However, this attracts Asano’s attention, and he begins to climb Karma’s tree. 

Karma grins at him and parkours higher.

classprez: *sends picture*

classprez: hes an abusive psycho. asano walked out of his office with a bruise on his cheek and was dissociating

prettysetter: time and place

classprez: what?

prettysetter: im joining in on this murder

scissorsguy: same here. i have my scissors on standby

classprez: knives r bettr

mr.owl: ooh! we could ask kenma for help!

prettysetter: why kenma?

mr.owl: kenma arsoned someones house before!

prettysetter: im not even gonna ask for the story behind it…

classprez: hahaaaaasdvsewfrtrhy5hggewf-v4gtrveay

Asano gets his phone back, and they both almost get sent tumbling out of the tree, but an invisible force stops them.

Thanks, Korosensei.

Asano yelps, and grabs onto Karma, who flinches and almost drops Asano’s phone onto the ground.

However, being the proudly trained E-Class assassin he is, he does none of that.

Instead he leans too far backward and ends up upside down, hanging on the branch with his legs.

But he still has the phone.

So, he takes a selfie of both of them and sends it to the group chat.

classprez: *sends pic*

classprez: #lifein2025

classprez: im texting upside down two secs away from a concussion

prettysetter: how r u good at taking photos upside down

classprez: idk

mr.owl: that looks fun!

scissorsguy: don’t die pls that would be bad for asano

classprez: dw i wont die

classprez: i cant die theres a force watching over me

classprez: watch me backflip off this branch

Karma starts recording a video, tosses the phone to Asano, who catches it but somehow still records him. “Why are you recording a video?-”

“Shh. Wait for the magic.”

“Wha-”

Before Asano could finish, Karma swings back and forth, going higher and higher each swing. Then, at the peak of one of his swings, he unhooks his legs from the branch, and takes a leap of faith.

Karma hears the wind rushing through his ears, as he falls 10 feet from a tree branch. With practiced ease -as he’s done this too many times before, parkouring up the mountain and training with Karasuma-, he backflips. As the ground gets closer and closer, he finally does a roll to break his fall.

Then he stands up, and looks back at Asano and the camera with a manic grin, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Heya, Asano.”

Asano’s jaw drops. “You could have died.”

“But I didn’t. Besides, god is watching over me, he wouldn’t let me die!” Karma looks at a panicked Korosensei in the treetops, smirking at him.  

“That doesn’t mean that you should’ve done that!” Asano seemed to be so confused that his face went blank.

He dusts off his clothes. “But I wanted to.” He looks up at Asano, and extends a hand. “Are you going to come down by yourself, or do you want me to catch you?”

“After I send this to the group chat, I’m going to come down there and beat you up.”

Karma laughs. “You? Beat me up? I am the DELINQUENT KING. NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME!” He cackles.

classprez: *sends a video* 

classprez: he actually backflipped i need to go beat him up

mr.owl: woaaaaaaaaaaaah that was so cool!!!!!!!

prettysetter: how the frick did he do that

scissorsguy: no kidding about some mysterious force keeping this kid alive

prettysetter: real

Asano hops down from the tree, a branch hitting his new bruise.

He winces, and so does Karma.

That reminds him about the current predicament they were in. “Asano, why did your father even hit you?”

The other suddenly tenses, and then slowly forces himself to relax. “You really wanna know?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Asano gets that faraway look in his eye. “It was because of the upcoming match we have against your class.” 

“The pole toppling?” Karma questions.

“Yes. The principal wants me to absolutely crush your class into pieces, no matter what.” Asano leans against the tree. “No matter what, I asked him. I asked him whether the lives and dignity of our students –not just our students– his son, matter to him. I asked whether we matter. I asked why he wants to crush 3-E.”

He laughs hollowly. “You want to know what my father said? He said that his philosophy ran on crushing people. He said that you –3-E– were the poor unlucky souls that would be squashed for this year’s lucky souls. He SAID that there’s no way peasants like you could win, and that some people had to be put down for others to succeed.”

Asano’s voice grows more panicked by the second. “He said that people like me had to be the best. The cream of the crop. I have to stand apart from these filthy people who drag me down. Because I have to be better. Victory is absolute, and if his son isn’t absolute, well then I’m not his son.”

He shrinks down to the floor, hugging his knees. “He said that I’m not good enough, apparently, and trying to help everyone and not crush people is a loser mentality. The principal thinks I’m a loser. And I’m trying to prove him wrong, but every single time, it backfires on me in some way, because E-Class is doing what I set out to do, and I want to be proud but-”

Karma walks over to him and whacks him on the head (lightly of course). “Breathe, Asano.” 

Hearing his name, the panicked teen seems to shrink in on himself more, losing more breath by the second, and clutching his head in pain.

Karma feels stupid, because Asano is also his dad’s name.

What was his first name again??

“Gakushuu. Breathe.”

Slowly, Asano does breathe (Karma internally apologizes for the unintentional panic he caused, he does feel bad), albeit a little shakily, returning back to a normal sitting position, which is good, but now he looks incredibly confused.

“You know my first name?” 

“Yeah, somehow.” Karma smiles, genuinely, for once. “Here, you can have the strawberry milk I didn’t drink.” He hands Asano the half empty-bottle.

Asano takes it, but not without a sassy comment or two. He sighs, “I now have to get satanic germs from this strawberry milk.” 

“Oh, shut up. I was trying to be nice to you for once.”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

—

Chapter Text

Akaashi Keiji wakes up to his phone beeping. 

-BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT- -BZZT-

He reaches for his phone, falling out of his bed while he’s at it. 

That hurt.

He finally manages to grab his phone, though, and at least the pain startled him awake.

BURN KUNUGIGAOKA:

satan: guys

satan: @all

satan: @all

satan: @all

satan: @all

prettysetter: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT

prettysetter: oops caps lock was on

prettysetter: what the fuck do you want

prettysetter: karma pls shut up

scissorsguy: yeah what he said

mr.owl: whawhat tiem si it

prettysetter: it’s 5AM karma u have some answering to do

satan: we’re going to burn my school

prettysetter: we’re going to WHAT

Akaashi sits up abruptly, hitting his head on the leg of his bed.

What?!

satan: for asano

prettysetter: r u rly awake rn

prettysetter: why r u burning asano’s school for him

scissorsguy: poor dude he got a yandere bf

mr.owl: do u want me to ask kenma?

satan: sure more the merrier

satan: asano cant know tho
prettysetter: ok but bokuto-san, i will ask kenma

prettysetter: he would prob stab u for bothering his video games

satan: quick to switch sides huh

mr.owl: i’ll ask kuroo then!

mr.owl: hehehe

scissorsguy: why r we burning a school

satan: *takes a deep breath* 

prettysetter: did u just type that? And why does Asano not need to know?

satan: yes i just typed that and u cant stop me from doing it again

satan: and asano doesnt need to know cuz he’ll threaten me and he doesn’t need more stress, and he’ll kill me probably-

scissorsguy: is that concern i see

satan: *cough* okay gang we gotta gameplan

prettysetter: wait

prettysetter added kodzuken & oyaoyaoya to BURN KUNUGIGAOKA

prettysetter: before u ask, we’re setting a school on fire

oyaoyaoya: cool which one

kodzuken: it’s obviously kunugigaoka

oyaoyaoya: the middle school or high school

satan: the middle school

oyaoyaoya: who’s satan

satan: i’m SATAN no duh

prettysetter: some random middle school kid we met the other day

mr.owl: satan is my friend!

scissorsguy: wdh

satan: fine i’ll properly introduce ppl after u introduce urselves

oyaoyaoya: i’m kuroo tetsurou

kodzuken: kenma

satan: i’m karma

oyaoyaoya: karma’s a bi-

satan: u will die in 40 secs of a heart attack

satan: and my name is actually karma

oyaoyaoya: didn’t pin u as a death note fan

prettysetter: hes right, and obv i’m akaashi

mr.owl: bokuto reporting for duty!

scisssorsguy: akashi seijurrou from rakuzan

kodzuken: idk scissorsguy but cool ig

oyaoyaoya: why r committing arson again

satan: *takes a deep breath* our principal is evil

oyaoyaoya: you did not just type that out-

satan: i did now shhh

satan: our principal is my friend’s dad

scissorsguy: *boyfriend’s dad

satan: shut UP

satan: he’s my friend’s dad, and he’s abusive, don’t question me I have EVIDENCE

satan: like basically the whole school knows for some reason but they do nothing about it

prettysetter: wait u didn’t tell us that

satan: i forgot to- anyways

mr.owl: WHAT

satan: my friend said it to me

satan: aFTER HE BROKE DOWN ABOUT HIS DAD

scissorsguy: u didnt tell us abt that either…

satan: his dad needs to be CRUSHED

oyaoyaoya: all for crushing sick psychos

satan: my school is hosting this event soon called “Pole Toppling”

satan: “pole toppling” is an event where you have two teams, and two giant beams of wood standing straight up

satan: the objective of the game is to knock the pole onto the ground

prettysetter: why did we need to know this?

satan: because the beams r made of wood.

satan: and it’s hosted on a grassy field.

satan: u catch my drift? (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) 

prettysetter: yeah, everything is flammable.

satan: mhm. Okay so it’s my friend’s class versus my class

satan: the principal wants my class to die, normal abusive principal stuff

satan: but, since life is unfair, i’m going to crush his school into dust.

satan: and his philosophy. No matter what.

oyaoyaoya: man u either rly luv violence or u rly love ur friend

satan: violence

scissorsguy: friend

kodzuken: simp 

oyaoyaoya: u cant be talking kenma

kodzuken: shutup

oyaoyaoya: hinata shoyo ring a bell?

kodzuken: should i tell tsukki everything u said abt him and his face

oyaoyaoya: nonono Kenma pls ur not a simp ur the bestest friend in the whole wide world pls don’t tell him-

mr.owl: rip kuroo u will be missed

prettysetter: no u wont

oyaoyaoya: that hurt-

prettysetter: good

satan: less bickering, more burning

scissorsguy: ok we need a solid plan

scissorsguy: and sum security cameras

oyaoyaoya: i wanna see it live tho

oyaoyaoya: and not frame karma

oyaoyaoya: i like this kid too much to get him put in jail

prettysetter: anyone have the money? 

prettysetter: or an extra security cam?

kodzuken: i can get one.

prettysetter: how-

kodzuken: :) 

oyaoyaoya: just trust him on this one-

satan: BACK ON TOPIC

mr.owl: r we burning da school or da field

satan: …the field obviously

satan: its waaaaaay easier to burn and waaaaaaaaaay more fun and it gives the principal more trauma. makes an impact, yk?

scissorsguy: good. he deserves it.

satan: also i don’t want my friend to yell at me about his plans for this school burning to ashes like it did-

After Akaashi discusses various plans with the group chat, Kuroo and Bokuto’s plans not counting of course, because those are getting them ALL put in jail, they finally decide on one. Not too complex, not too boring either. [Karma complains about the lack of violence, Akaashi thinks it’s good]. And Karma won’t be framed in the crime (thanks, Kenma).

Two weeks from now, Kunigigaoka will feel the wrath of Akabane Karma and his friends.

. . . . .

Asano was having a horrible day. 

It’s been one and a half weeks since he saw Karma in person, only getting the daily Death Note meme from the other. And Asano… misses Karma (don’t tell him… Asano would never hear the end of it). 

On top of his …predicament… with Karma, the Class-A students have gotten restless. Every few seconds, it’s always “Asano, what’s the plan for pole toppling?”, or ”Asano, how are we going to crush those 3-E peasants?” 

He has had enough . If one more person asks him about anything related to pole toppling, he’s going to deck them in the face.

DM FROM SATAN TO CLASSPREZ:

satan: plans for pole toppling?

Asano sighs, and bangs his head into his desk, wishing it was Karma’s face.

classprez: thats the first thing u say to me other than a death note meme.

satan: OoOoh is someone mad~

satan: *gasp* dont tell me u missed me that much~

classprez: stop typing out gasp

classprez: and no i didnt miss u

classprez: stop being delusional

classprez: ofc i have a plan, and its defo better than urs

satan: literally nothing can top my plan

classprez: oh ya? I bet 3-E came up w it for u

satan: ill have u know this is OUR plan

classprez: wtv u say, bastard

Asano was about to put his phone away when he got another message. Karma, I swear to God. If you were the one to message me…

A4+B

prettysetter: kenma says the supplies are ready

Asano sighs in relief.  

Thank god, it’s not Karma for once. I was ready to stab my phone. 

Oh wow, Akashi’s really rubbing off on me.

Then his brain processed the information given to him.

Wait, what?!

classprez: what supplies?

prettysetter: the supplies Akashi and i need to bake Bokuto a surprise cake

scissorsguy: yeaH

mr.owl: i’m getting a CAKE?!!!!!!!!!!!!

prettysetter: shit

Asano shuts off his phone.

Just the usual shenanigans, huh?

He rolls his eyes, content for now.

Then a member of the ‘Virtuosos’ (aka, the Student Council), and one of his closest friends, comes up to him.

Ren smiles, a little sheepishly. “So, what’s our plan to beat 3-E?”

Fuck.

“Ren, you are the twentieth person, TOday , that asked me that.” Asano says, through gritted teeth.

Love you Ren, but NOT right now!

Ren backs up a tiny bit, seeming to sense Asano’s frustration. “Uh- Do you.. at least have a plan…?”

Asano gave him a side-eye. “Who do you take your student council president for? Are you doubting me?”

“No no, of course not-! What makes you think that?!” Ren nervously responds, eyes flicking between Asano and the ground.

“The fact you don’t think I have a solid plan.” He says, plainly laying out the truth.

“I NEVER SAID THAT!!!” Ren panics more.

“It was implied, wasn’t it?...” Asano puts his chin in his hands, and channels the frightening aura of his father.

This, now this is who I am. I am their leader.

They cannot doubt me, otherwise we’re all going to fail.

Remember who you’re talking to…

Ren backs up. “Okay then, Asano, I’ll leave the d-details to you then! Uhm- I forgot I have something to do! See you later, Asano!”

And he runs away with his tail between his legs, just like that.

Asano suppresses a smile. 

Oh great, I hope I don’t become a sadistic bastard like Karma-

--

Afterschool, Asano heads to the student council room, planning to check on Ren after the scare he gave the poor guy, but is pleasantly surprised (note the sarcasm).

“Asano Gakushuu, please report to the principal’s office. I repeat, Asano Gakushuu, please report to the principal’s office,” A robotic voice says over the school loudspeakers. 

He freezes.  Great, this day was rotten from the start.

What is he even getting called to the principal’s office for?

Knowing he couldn’t disobey his father’s requests (orders), Asano trudged to his father’s office. 

He opened the door, and was greeted with his father’s cold presence consuming the room, almost like the aura of death. Or like the Nen in HxH. It could really be anything. Maybe an omen that told people “Asano Gakushuu is going to die, here, and now.” 

Asano looks at the principal. “Hello there, principal. What brings me here today?”

He replies coldly, facing away from Asano, looking somewhere off into the distance. “Someone has been tampering with the security camera feed in my school.”

Asano froze.

What?

“Someone broke past your firewall? How? The encryption is state-of-the-art. Your defenses are quite literally the best on the market.” He rolls his eyes. “Except for 3-E.”

The principal coughs into his hand at the mention of the end class. Then he narrows his eyes at Asano. “Flattery gets you nowhere, Asano-kun.”

“I’m stating plain facts.”

He sits up straight, unleashing more of his suffocating demeanor. “Asano, have you, or have you not been meddling with my school?”

Asano smiles, a cold, sharp thing. “My whole purpose is to bring you and your philosophy down, father .”

“I told you not to call me that on school grounds.” The principal narrows his eyes even further. “Have you, or have you not been tampering with the security camera feed?”

“I know nothing about that, principal.”

As much as I like to make my father mad, it wouldn’t help me if I got another bruise today.

“I know nothing about the cameras, as I have simply been preparing for the pole toppling match against the end class.”

Against Karma. I really wonder what he’s up to right now.

He scrutinizes Asano, as if inspecting the boy for lies. The cold-blooded snake gets up from his chair, and Asano holds back a flinch, and tries not to look too ready for a fight.

Or, well, a massacre.

The principal walks up to him and put his hand on Asano’s shoulder. “Asano-kun, if any more of the camera feed is messed with, you will be right back here in this office. No exceptions.” He says. “Need I remind you that I’m letting you have the freedom to do as you wish?”

What freedom???

“No, principal. I understand.” 

“Good. You may take your leave now.”

“Yes sir.” He nods, and walks towards the door.

Asano doesn’t relax until he is far, far away from that disgusting place.

. . . . .

A few hours earlier:

BURN KUNUGIGAOKA:

satan: wtf was that akaashi

prettysettter: a save.

scissorsguy: u better hope he believed it

oyaoyaoya: what happened?

prettysetter: i texted in the wrong gc

kodzuken: lmao

scissorsguy: and he made a terrible excuse to make up for it

mr.owl: so am i not getting the cake then? :’(

prettysetter: no bokuto-san

prettysetter: ill take u out for ice cream tho

mr.owl: YAY!!! UR THE BEST KAASHIIIIIIIIII!!!! :DDDDD 

satan: yall r idiots

. . . . . 

The fateful day has arrived.

Karma was ready. More than ready, actually.

He was excited.

And his classmates questioned him several times on why he was grinning maniacally. Nagisa looked two seconds from backing away from him. Kayano hesitantly offered him a pudding. Terasaka scoffed at him, and gave him the stink-eye. Ritsu offered to show him pictures of Asano to help his anger management, which Karma was almost tempted to give into-. Isogai almost told him to sit out the pole toppling, but that was NOT happening.

Well… what they don’t know won’t kill them… He hopes.

The fire won’t kill them.

Probably.

It’ll be fine.

. . . . .

At last, the most hated day has arrived.

Asano has told Class-A his plan twice. And one of those times he recorded it. Ren and the other virtuosos are ready for anything Karma *cough* Class 3-E throws at them.

Anything.

Even if they’re not throwing things.

Unless Karma has introduced Akashi and his scissors to his class, Asano has pondered it all.

And he’s developed an unbeatable solution.

He’s sure of it.

A few hours pass, and Asano is almost too agitated to listen to his lectures.

He works on some math problems instead, opting to use his time more wisely.

He also draws out some more possible oppositions and ways to counter any possible attacks he skipped over.

Other than that? Asano doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

DM FROM SATAN TO CLASSPREZ:

classprez: ur going down

satan: no u r

classprez: my plan is clearly superior

satan: its obv that mine is

satan: youll agree w/ me once u see it

classprez: sure

satan: good u’ve accepted ur fate

classprez: that was sarcasm

classprez: i believe in free will.

satan: nope it’s fate

classprez: ya right

satan: trust me u will be amazed

classprez: i’m going now. see u there.

satan: oh i wILL

Asano puts his phone in his pocket (he’s using it more often now, don’t tell Karma) and he walks to the field the classes are supposed to be using.

Except the field is surrounded with a line of caution tape, and this weird guy with black hair sticking straight up (is it from a bedhead?) is ushering people away from the field.

“No one on the field until it’s announced that you can use it.” He says, voice booming around the area. It’s surprisingly commanding for a security guard.

The students sigh, and back away from the area.

Asano, especially, is disappointed, as he wanted to analyze the field for the optimal “high ground”.

But there’s something suspicious about that man.

And the caution tape.

Why is there a smell coming from the field? And why is the grass extremely shiny? Was it watered recently?  

At that moment, someone shoves him harshly, and Asano crashes into the ground, barely catching himself with his forearm.

“Need a hand, student council president ?” Karma Akabane says, innocently blinking down at him.

. . . . .

“This is Kodzuken. Camera is set. Oya is in position for Mr.Owl to swoop in.”

Akaashi smiles from the spot he’s seated. He could tell Kenma was somewhat excited for this stunt they’re about to pull.

To be fair, Kenma was always an arson enthusiast (especially for the literal sunshine incarnate in Karasuno, who he seemed to have a soft spot for). Sadly, Bokuto-san isn’t here with him right now, but he’s going to show up with Kuroo right before the “fireworks” start.

He’s sitting in a local cafe near Kunigigaoka with his tablet open, back facing a wall with no windows.

Akaashi sips his frappuccino, and taps his earbud.

“This is * sigh * prettysetter. Oya, are you and Mr.Owl headed back?”

“Affirmative, prettysetter~. Mr.Owl is still complaining that he can’t gel his hair up, you know.”

“Tell Mr.Owl his hair is too noticeable, so I made him wear a baseball cap over it. You too, Oya, I better see you having that cap on.”

“Affirmative~. We have moved out of the location area now. The rest is up to Kodzuken and Satan.”

“This plan all hinges on Satan. He better do his part.” Akaashi deadpans.

“Oya out.” 

“Prettysetter out.”

Akaashi sighed (again). He still doesn’t understand why they had to have code names based on the names Karma chose for them.

And Kenma literally got to keep his own gamer name. 

The camera feed is still viewing the field, moments before disaster. 

Two figures walk into the cafe, both laughing around and joking with each other like normal highschoolers. Both with hats on, the black-haired sporting a red beanie, and as promised, the salt-and-pepper haired with a baseball cap (and his hair down for once).

“Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san, over here.” He says, at a normal volume to not attract attention.

The chaotic duo walk over to the table Akaashi saved. Kuroo shoves Bokuto towards Akaashi, forcing him to slide in the seat next to the setter. 

Kuroo sits across from the two, and tugs Akaashi’s iPad closer to him. “Soo~, prettysetter~, how you doin’?”

Akaashi swore Kuroo had a death wish. “ Shut up,” he hissed darkly, face turning slightly pink. Who gave them the bright idea to name him “prettysetter”?

Bokuto grins. “Yeah, prettysetter!”

Akaashi resists the urge to blush further, and facepalms instead. Damn Kuroo, I hope Satan gets him.  

Bokuto’s hair-down-stuck-under-a-baseball-cap look isn’t helping either. It’s making Akaashi’s heart go crazy , and his mind go blank. 

Mental note to ask Kenma to slap Kuroo HARD for me later.

Akaashi turns back to his iPad, and looks at the camera. 

“Now, let’s get this party started, shall we?”

. . . . .

Asano scowls at Karma, who is standing above him. “You shouldn’t need to offer help in the first place.”

Karma grins. “Do you want it or not?”

Asano begrudgingly takes his hand, and in that moment of weakness, Karma pulls him towards himself, and Asano trips over his foot, almost falling again.

Asano gives him the stink-eye, and Karma starts cackling, attracting the attention of both classes, and quite literally, half the school. 

He quickly lets go of the demon's hand and stands up straight, looking away.

He can hear Karma’s scoff, but when he turns back around, the other is gone. Vanished into thin air.

-[oOo]-

Karma bites his lip, stopping any expression from taking over his face, leaning against the wall he’s ducked behind. He picked a few of Nagisa’s tricks, and he used one of those to quickly get away from Asano. “Kodzuken, copy?”

“Copy. Cameras in order. Over.” 

“Everything set?”

“Yes.”

“Time?” Karma smirks.

“T-minus three minutes til' it’s executed. Get back to your position, Satan. Over.”

“Affirmative. See you on the flip side, Kodzuken. Over.”

-[oOo]-

After about thirty seconds of looking for him, Asano sees Karma over with a blue-haired member of Class-3E, grinning and laughing with them.

Asano feels annoyed, still running on pre-game adrenaline.

How can he be standing there, talking so casually with someone? We’ve got a game to play.

He gazes out at the field, taking in the surroundings. The setup is exactly how he’d predicted it would be, two large wooden beams standing upright equally spaced about a hundred yards from each other.

They have about a minute until the game starts, and all the other classes except A and E-class are mingling in the stands. The caution tape around the grass was removed, and those two suspicious security guards from earlier were long gone.

Asano scrutinizes the field again. Wait, earlier, wasn’t there something weird about the grass?

A sliver of light glints off a blade of grass near him.

Right, it was overly shiny.

It had a shine to it, not too bright, like the sun was reflecting off the grass, but it was muted. 

He can feel small beads of sweat sliding down his face.

Think, Gakushuu! Think! What could it be? Water?

He thinks back to when he used to water the school’s lawns.

No, it’s not quite right, the light reflected off the grass would be brighter and sharper.

Maybe it’s a kind of pesticide? Based on the slight stench, it could be artificial grass too-

Karma walks over to him, disrupting his train of thought. “Hey, Class President. Are you excited?” He comes and stands almost directly in his view of the field, annoying him.

“Excited? Sure, I’m excited for you to lose.”

Karma’s eyes glinted. “I can’t lose. Remember, there’s a mysterious force guarding me.”

“Yeah, right.” Asano rolls his eyes.

He smirks. “Wanna see something?”

“What?”

Karma looks at his wrist, then at the field, steps to the left a little, and looks at Asano.

“3.”

–

Akaashi, Bokuto, and Kuroo all stare at the camera feed, waiting in anticipation.

–

“2.” 

–

Kenma stares at his multiple monitors, making sure all the nearby cameras have been set to record empty areas around the school. Akashi’s looking around, making sure that nothing interferes with the plan. Karma assured them that he has someone to cover them if anyone tries to track them down. The gamer (and now arsonist) looks at the field, and waits in quiet excitement.

–

“1.”

Asano hears a slight sizzling sound and can faintly smell something new in the air.

“Boom.” Karma claps his hands together quietly and–

The field erupts in flames.

Students begin screaming, as the fresh, pristine grass goes from bright green to dark gray in a few seconds. The fire spreads throughout the field, quickly crossing the distance of a 100 yards, climbing up the two lone wooden beams.

They dance behind Karma, looming high in the sky, casting sparks everywhere and producing an ominous orange light, illuminating him from behind.

Almost like he was looking at the ruler of hell himself, the one and only...

...Satan.

Asano’s jaw drops.

And hell's flames consume him.

Chapter Text

The fire alarm starts blaring, but Gakushuu is too stunned to react.

He’s transfixed by the fire, frozen in place, as he watches his “even” playing field brutally burn to the ground. 

Seconds pass by, students shove past him, and he stands there.

He stands there, all alone, just him, the flames, and the red-headed demon in front of him.

Karma is still standing in the same position. Facing Asano, his face lit up by the bright, colorful firelight dancing around behind them.

He has a surreal look to him that Asano can’t wrap his head around, but what he does know is that this sight is burned into his memory: the warm light turning Karma’s skin a glowing orange hue, the flames flicking up behind him, and the spark in his eyes—the look of a troublesome, satanic, madman. 

That might have been the moment where Asano felt a spark of something real; something dangerous.

Something that left him completely entranced.

Something that might not be bad.

Karma smirks, and the moment is broken. Asano feels a lingering heat in his face, which he’s not sure is from the flames, or something, much, much worse.

The demon reaches out and pushes his jaw up off the floor.

Then he grabs Asano’s wrist, and pulls him along, following the other students.

Asano looks at him, but not without a last glance at the hot flames surrounding them.

Maybe these flames symbolized a new beginning for him; maybe they didn't, but Asano doesn’t want to think about that right now.

He just wants to absorb the moment.

Asano shuts his eyes and lets Karma drag him along, relishing in the heat.

. . . . .

Bokuto is punching his fist in the air, and Kuroo is close to jumping on the table and swinging his jacket around. 

Akaashi is full blown GRINNING, and it’s crazy.

And creepy. Because the normally calm and stoic Akaashi is no longer calm and stoic.

In fact, he’s lost all semblance of being composed, and for some reason, feels almost maniacal.

Is this what it’s like being Karma’s friend? He should start making friends with scarier people.

…On second thought, that is a terrible idea.

Bokuto jumps onto his chair. “WOOHOO!!!”

Everyone in the cafe stares at him.

Kuroo jumps onto his chair, and starts yelling too. “LET’S GOO-!”

Yeah, no. Akaashi changed his mind. He is NOT going to befriend any more troublemakers in the foreseeable future. He already has his hands full with these two idiots.

Akaashi sighs, and facepalms. “Sorry, uhm, we were watching…”

What’s live right now?

“We were watching Link Click.” 

The customers in the restaurant go back to what they were doing, paying no more attention to the two strangers jumping on chairs while watching a depressing donghua.

Yes, that makes total sense.

After dragging the two idiots out of the cafe, Akaashi resolves to meet up with Akashi and Kenma.

At least then, he won’t have to suffer alone.

Currently the two are situated in Karma’s house. (Yeah, somehow he has a house, without any parents or guardians watching him. Concerning, but that’s another day’s problem. Right now, they are fixing Asano’s dAdDy iSsUeS.)

And since Asano travels to school by foot, at least like two miles, Bokuto and Kuroo rented bikes, and Akaashi traveled by foot.

So now they have two bikes and three people.

What a tragedy.

“Who’s the fastest at biking?” Akaashi asks.

“ME!” The two idiots yell.

Bokuto huffs. “It’s obviously me! Look at me! I’m an owl! Biking is like flying SUUUUPER FAST! Like WHOOSH!”

Kuroo scoffs. “As if you fly that fast either. Do you remember that time you tried to skateboard past a speed check machine on a highway and ended up face planting at 6 miles per hour?”

Akaashi blinks. “Kuroo, that was over a year ago.”

“And?”

“And he was riding a skateboard, not a bike.”

“Do you really think I care?”

Bokuto huffs. “Yes!”

Kuroo sticks his tongue out at Bokuto, and Bokuto makes a dumb face in return.

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “As much as I’d like to have my own bike, you two on a bike would probably make a car crash-”

“-But we’re on a bike! Not a car!” Bokuto exclaims.

“Exactly. I don’t trust you enough to drive a car.”

Kuroo cackles at his deadpan remark. “Remember that time Kenma’s minivan was airborne for six seconds?”

“It was what?!-”

Bokuto sighs, and his face turns green. “I learned not to say ‘when cars fly!’ as an excuse after that. Anything can happen when Kenma’s driving.”

Kuroo side-eyes his friend. “As if you’re much better. I remember the time you and Kenma decided to race.”

Akaashi shivers at the memory. The thirty-minute car drive ended up being less than fifteen minutes. It was honestly his go-to definition for ‘hell on Earth’ now, other than watching Alien Stage . That was worse.

A nearby TV flashes brightly. “BREAKING NEWS! KUNUGIGAOKA JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL HAS JUST BEEN SET ON FIRE! FIREFIGHTERS AND PARAMEDICS ARE QUICKLY RUSHING TO THE SCENE! ALL STUDENTS’ SAFETY HAS NOT YET BEEN CONFIRMED!”

All three of them slowly turn to the broadcast, and some pedestrians gasp in horror.

“Anyways,” Akaashi interrupted, “we should leave. ASAP. And not be airborne for six seconds, thank you. I would rather not die today.”

“Aww, Akaashi, you’re no fun,” Kuroo whines, but still follows the younger boy’s instructions. Because Akaashi can be pretty terrifying if he wants to be.

But that doesn’t mean that Kuroo won’t have some fun with this situation. 

Kuroo grabs a bike with a mischievous grin. “I’m taking this with me. You two are going to have to share, and have to pedal pretty hard if you want to catch up.”

He jumps on it, and dashes off before anyone could object.

Akaashi sighs, cups his hands around his mouth, and yells, “Wrong way!”

Kuroo turns the bike around. “My bad!” He speeds off again, this time in the ‘right direction’. “Now I’m goneeeeee-...”

Akaashi can still hear his voice.

He sighs. “That little bastard.”

Bokuto gasps. “Did you just swear?!”

“That’s irrelevant. Bokuto-san, I’m going to be riding this bike. Please hang on if you do not want to fly off into the road.” Akaashi’s a little pissed at Kuroo, so he kind of wants to see the look on his face as Bokuto and Akaashi whoosh past him.

Also to make sure he’s going the right way.

Akaashi grabs the bike, hops on, and motions for Bokuto to hop on behind him. 

The other does, but not without a cheeky grin.

Akaashi rolls his eyes, and without a warning he speeds off behind Kuroo, who is a distant figure now.

Bokuto yelps, and Akaashi lets out a smile.

Next thing you know, there’s a queer duo on a bike whooshing down the sidewalk, one of them whooping and hollering like a maniac as the other pedals in silence, somehow not even breaking a sweat.

The poor sidewalk now has slight skid marks on it.

. . . . .

Akashi wakes up to the sound of Karma’s front door slamming open.

Kuroo runs in, stomping around like a maniac, and Akashi gets major deja vu– (Aomine, is that you?). 

Kenma is unfazed, though, as he’s still sitting on Karma’s couch and grinding on his video game. Akashi wonders how he can be so calm yet painfully aware of his surroundings at the same time. 

Kuroo runs over to Akashi, and somehow shuts off. He kind of just stands there for two seconds, and b r e a t h e s .

Akashi wonders how Akaashi deals with this every day.

. . . Is this why Akaashi is always so done™?

If so, then that makes perfect sense. Poor Akaashi, having to deal with these gremlins disguised as third years.

Wait, speaking of Akaashi, where even is he?

“Kuroo, weren’t you supposed to be here with Aka-?”

The bedhead furiously shakes his head and makes a zip-up gesture on his mouth. “We do not talk about him™. Or Bokuto for that matter. Also, don’t tell them where I am when they inevitably get here.” 

Kenma sighs. “They’re outside.”

Both Kuroo and Akashi’s heads whip towards the door.

Huh???

Bokuto bursts in.

“Kuroo, my bro, my man, my homie, the love of my entire life, RUN!-”

And before he could finish, Bokuto fell to the floor as a terrifying demon appeared behind him.

No, it sadly wasn’t Karma.

Akashi can’t believe he’s sad about not seeing the Satan reincarnate.

“Kuroo,” Akaashi states, and if looks could kill, this one would have sent Kuroo straight to Tartarus himself. 

Kuroo lets out a very manly squeak.

“Kuroo,” he repeats, “what was that for?”

Kuroo hides behind Bokuto. “W-what was what for?”

Bokuto promptly shoves Kuroo. “Bro, I love you, but I am not getting sacrificed. You brought this on yourself. GOOD LUCK!” And then Bokuto ran off before Akaashi could kill- or, well, threaten him.

Akaashi crosses his arms. “Kenma, please slap Kuroo as hard as you want. I give you full permission to.”

Kenma sighs. “What for?”

“Anything, really.”

“That’s too much work. I’ll text Tsukishima to do it instead.”

Kuroo blanches. “Kenma, no, please-, don’t-, I finally stopped teasing him for once-.”

DM BETWEEN KODZUZEN AND TSUKKICROW:

kodzuken: hey, kuroo did something stupid

tsukkicrow: what did he do this time

kodzuken: idk

tsukkicrow: then what do i have to do with it

kodzuken: akaashi told me to slap kuroo as much as i want

kodzuken: but thats too much of a hassle. do u want to do it instead?

tsukkicrow: why should i it’s still too much of a hassle

tsukkicrow: actually ykw it’s good revenge i’ll do it for free

“And done. I told him. Tsukishima seems pretty happy to oblige.” Kenma shows Kuroo their beautiful string of texts. 

Kuroo dramatically falls to his knees, like a heartbroken maiden from a rip-off Disney movie, wailing, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO~, KENMAAAA! THIS IS THE GREATEST BETRAYAL OF ALL TIME!! WHYYYYY~!?!?!?!?!?”

Akashi sweatdrops as he watches the third year fall to the floor. So dramatic…

Kuroo gets up, ‘lightbulb’ flashing above his head. “Wait, what if I text Hinata?”

The air in the room goes cold, and Akashi knows that was probably one of the dumbest things Kuroo could EVER say. Now he has, not only one, but two scary setters ready to murder him. But it’s quite clear who is the more terrifying one. 

Especially when you see the reactions of the other volleyball players.

Akaashi looks like he can’t decide whether to laugh or cry.

Bokuto is shivering, and he looks scared out of his mind. He’s currently hiding behind Akaashi, which might be half the reason why.

And Kenma finally put down his video game console, face stone cold.

Akashi knows things are about to get very, very entertaining.

Kenma lets out a withering glare, aimed straight at Kuroo.

“Don’t even think about texting Shouyou. I will make sure that Tsukki holds a permanent grudge against you for all eternity. That’s a promise.”

And of course, Kuroo decides to open his big, dumb mouth again. “Tsukki would never-”

“I will reveal all the blackmail I have on you. You heard me. Every single line, every single page, every single little ballad, every time you talked about him.”

“What if I was just talking about his blocks?” Kuroo nervously adds.

Kenma sighs. “Kuroo Tetsurou, I have at least 30k words of you simping over his face in our DMs. And I screenshotted them. Every. Single. One .”

He laughs sheepishly. “They can’t be THAT bad, right?”

Kenma opens his phone, and shows Akaashi a single message.

Akaashi clears his throat, and in a bad impersonation of Kuroo, says, “Kenma, I simply cannot take this anymore. You know that little blocker from Karasuno? The one who’s really tall, and got pummeled by Bokuto’s spikes during the training camp? The one whose face looks weirdly adorable for some odd reason —No, Kenma, I’m NOT weird for thinking that—. The one who’s insults are the best thing to ever happen in my day, the one who’s hands look just soft enough to be comfortable to hold-”

Kuroo aggressively waves his hands around in embarrassment. “OKAY, OKAY, I GET IT. I’M SORRY FOR BRINGING UP CHIBI-CHAN.”

“Good. Never, and I mean never , talk about Shouyou without my permission. You will regret it.”

“Sir, yes, sir-” Kuroo salutes, albeit a little timidly.

“Also, I’ve already sent that message to Tsukishima.”

Kuroo’s mouth drops open in betrayal. “KENMA! DON’T OUT ME AND MY PINING, BRO-”

Kenma smirks (meaning his lips barely twitch up in that creepy way. And knowing Kenma, that is considered a smirk). “Like Bokuto said earlier, you brought this upon yourself.”

Bokuto indignantly squawks. “Hey! I didn’t do anything!”

Kuroo sighs, and lays on the comfortable carpet, fake crying on the floor.

Akashi rolls his eyes. “I guess today was ‘bully Kuroo-san day’.”

“HEY GUYS! WE’RE BACK!!!” a familiar, demonic voice yells, dragging himself and an unresponsive child through the door.

Akashi takes back his words.

He doesn’t want to see Karma anymore.

No offense, Satan.

“What the hell did we just walk into-” Karma asks, staring at the scene in front of him, still gripping Asano’s wrist as the other zones out.

Akashi sighs. “Nothing much, you just missed Kuroo almost getting killed. He got ‘cooked’ instead. And probably outed to his crush.”

“Wait, what ?! You’re telling me I missed all the entertainment!” Karma yells, making Asano flinch behind him.

Kuroo sighs. “Never again, bro, never again.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “You literally set a school on fire, isn’t that your preferred choice of entertainment?”

“Well, still, like I said earlier, I missed all the entertainment.”

Akaashi sighs as he guides Asano into sitting down. “Fine. Get settled down, we have things to discuss.”

. . . 

Chapter Text

Gakushuu’s kind of just… floating around in space?...

Having an out-of-body experience, he guesses.

All he remembers is screaming, fire, and Akabane  Karma. In that order. When the other boy grabbed his wrist then, Gakushuu’s mind turned off. 

It was nice, for the couple of minutes that his touch kept his thoughts at bay.

Gakushuu feels dizzy. For some reason, being dragged while looking at the ground reminds him of something…

. . . . .

“Gakushuu Asano, please come to the principal’s office.”

Why, today of all days? Today was probably one of the most stressful days Gakushuu has had this entire year.

Today was October 11th, Gakushuu’s second year at his father’s middle school, first year as student council president, definitely-not-the-first year of being gossiped about and insulted behind his back, and the day of Kunigigaoka’s baseball team tryouts. Gakushuu never understood why his father put him up to the task of monitoring the baseball team.

Maybe it was because his father was a sadistic bastard.

But maybe, it was because the previous student council president was the captain of Kunigigaoka’s baseball team.

Over the years, Gakushuu had become good at reading people.

That was simply what he had to do to survive.

So, after Gakushuu’s win this year, it was easy to tell that a baseball wasn’t the only thing the boy wanted to hit with a baseball bat.

Ever since, he had been sending out his lackeys from that team to go bother Gakushuu, maybe even beat him up.

At least, they tried.

The only thing they succeeded at was sufficiently bothering him and lowering his reputation.

Gakushuu, average-sized, fourteen-year-old Gakushuu, was able to successfully fend off around four bulky fifteen-to-sixteen-year-old bullies.

They got bored of running at him when school was over, and leaving half the bruises he left on them, and decided to attack his mental state.

Mind you, Gakushuu was not mentally stable.

Last week, he talked to the principal about strictly enforcing non-bullying policies, so he could stop dealing with their nonsense, and got slapped in the face.

Right on one of their successfully placed bruises.

The principal looked at him, and simply said that bullying was the core foundation of his school, and that if his own son couldn’t handle it, he might as well not be his son.

After that, Gakushuu realized he was too numb to care.

So he did stop caring.

He let them harass him for the next week, only defending himself when they tried to use physical force on him.

Gakushuu could still see the former president’s face looking down on him.

That image was seared in his brain, weaving its dark tendrils into the morbid corners of his mind, hiding until Gakushuu tried to regain any semblance of living.

Any will to live in Gakushuu was long gone.

It was funny, to him, how everything managed to change in a single week, from bad to worse.

Now Gakushuu is standing at the open window of a first floor classroom, clutching his head in pain and breathing heavily.

-What even is the point?-

-I’m going to get killed by someone, whether it be my father, the baseball team, or even those kids who hate me.-

Gakushuu shakily stands up. He feels something run down his face.

He wipes at it, feeling water, but wishing it to be his blood.

People’s faces flash in front of him, as he steps closer to the window.

Gakushuu sees a multitude of people, most of whom he’s helped out in the past, or people who have supported him.

He sees his mother.

Their faces all merge together, and transform into this gruesome being, the face contorted into something vaguely resembling sadness.

Gakushuu staggers closer to the window, and leans his head out of it, breath coming in short gasps.

He sees people who have hated him, the people who gossip about him in the halls, and worst of all, his father.

Those faces merge together, too. Into something even worse, whose face looks like a mess of people's eyes sewn together.

Its phantom mouth curves up into an invisible smirk, as if taunting him to join them.

-I no longer have a life left to live, do I?-

Gakushuu puts his foot onto the windowsill.

-What’s left for me here?-

He takes a breath, and he…

…jumps.

. . . . .

Gakushuu remembers.

He remembers all of it. The pain afterward, the screaming, the ambulance sirens, the ground rushing towards him, and the pitch black.

He looks up, vision hazy, at the red-headed-demon, who has stopped in front of a house.

Gakushuu vaguely hopes they’re not breaking into someone’s house, and follows Akabane Karma inside.

He sees around five-to-six people, assuming he’s actually accounting correctly.

There’s Bokuto, Akaashi, Akashi, someone with hair that looks weirdly like pudding, and a guy with spiky black hair.

Gakushuu slowly sits straight. Hey, wasn’t that the same hair I saw at my school moments before the incident happened?

…Wait a minute. 

He’s the fishy ‘safety regulator’ guy!

He yawns, and points at ‘safety regulator’ with droopy eyes. “Guess you failed, huh?”

The black-haired man looks at him. “Failed at what?!”

“Keeping us safe, Mr. Phony Safety Regulator.”

Pudding-hair looks at him, Akaashi looks at him, Akashi looks at him, Bokuto grins mischievously at him, and Karma looks at Gakushuu with a proud smile.

Hold on, what was that last part-

Bokuto bursts into laughter, falling on the floor, wheezing so hard Gakushuu feels his stomach hurting just looking at it.

Akaashi is loudly chuckling behind his hand, while Akashi’s trying to cover up his laughs with coughs. And by trying, he means failing very obviously.

Pudding-hair is just smirking.

‘Mr. Safety Regulator’ slightly steps back, a little mortified. “Kid, my job wasn’t to keep you safe--”

“Clearly.” Gakushuu rolls his eyes– channeling his inner Karma and putting lots of sass in that one word. 

“--my job was to help out the Satan child over here!” He points at Karma, who is still beaming at Gakushuu with that stupid smile on his face.

Said demon whips around to the other guy, cartoonish horns and tail seemingly materializing on his head. “Yeah, you really went there as a ‘safety regulator’? I can’t believe you…”

“Hey, Bokuto did the same thing!”

“DID NOT!”

“DID TOO!”

While those two engage in some sort of argument, Gakushuu zones out, feeling like he’d missed something very, very important.

It was almost like he was digging fruitlessly in the cabinets of his mind, searching through the piles and piles of studious notes he had taken of his classes.

What happened?

Did I forget something there?

And then…

…He realizes.

Something, very, very, important has been forgotten.

His father.

Gakushuu springs up, hazy, dissociative state fully gone, as he tries to bolt out of the house, and to rack his mind for an efficient, sufficient, and hopefully good enough plan of action–

–but is quickly stopped by none other than Akabane Karma.

“Where ya going so soon, Asano?” He asks, eyes half-lidded, reading him like a book. “School’s out for the day, I assume.”

“My father isn’t out.” He snaps, not very eager to leave, but not very eager to stay either.

Maybe it wasn’t Karma’s fault this time.

Maybe he was just scared of his father and the consequences of doing things he may not like.

Karma tilts his head. “You can stay until school’s officially out. Just say you were with Ren or something.”

Gakushuu yanks his hand back. “Do you know how many ways that could go wrong really fast?”

“No, but I’m not going to bother guessing.” Karma stares at him, eyes flicking to Gakushuu’s wrist.

All the noises of fighting have stopped in the background, but Gakushuu’s too panicked to notice.

“You know, you kind of caused around a million yen in property destruction– which is directed at my father, in turn directed at ME?!” Gakushuu points at himself, emphasizing ‘me’.

Karma sighs. “You know, I know a certain teacher who’s going to be at his office right now asking for a pay raise because he ‘helped’ get all the students out safely”

“...Your class has problems. Teacher included.” Gakushuu thinks of the black-haired teacher he saw at the assembly, then shakes his head. That guy is like a military drill instructor, so it’s almost impossible he would do that.

Right?…

Oh wait, there’s that eccentric blonde teacher. Maybe it’s her.

“You mean teachers . As in more than one.” Karma grins.

Gakushuu rolls his eyes.

Bokuto looks back and forth between the two. “Oh my god, you guys aren’t in high school?”

“...Bokuto-san, they told us that the day we met,” Akaashi states in a ‘so doneTM’ voice. 

“We’ve been over this.” Gakushuu looks at the drooping owl.

“We have????” Bokuto looks up.

“XUEEFVFGRFBWASHEAHSDFSHAFHDSFKDHA-”

“Shut up Kuro.”

“KENMA YOU’RE SO MEAN- MY FEELINGS-” Kuroo wheezes out, laughing so hard he’s clutching his sides.

He deadpans. “I just sent another text to Tsukishima.”

“KENMA!”

Gakushuu looks at his “senpais” and sighs. Don’t you get wiser with age?

Karma looks at him cheekily.

Nevermind.

Maybe Gakushuu really doesn’t have anything to worry about. So he basks in the chaotic atmosphere, letting it calm him down.

. . . . .

Korosensei flails his tentacles around. He’s desperate.

Though he’s happy his dear student asked him for help and concocted a mastermind plan that doesn’t target him for once, he’s not happy it has to do with his boss.

Whatever, his demon child just said to ‘distract the principal’, so this broke sensei is going to use his opportunity the best way possible.

“Can I please get a pay raise?!?!”

“No.” The principal deadpans.

Korosensei panics. “MY STUDENTS ARE EVIL. EVIL I TELL YOU. I SHOULD GET MORE FOR TEACHING THEM.”

“They are the E-class, and they are supposed to assassinate you. What did you expect?”

“WELL, MY WALLET IS EMPTY.”

“Your bad spending habits are out of my control.”

“IT’S NOT MY SPENDING HABITS, IT’S MY SATANIC STUDENT.”

. . . . .

A setter stares off into the distance, tuning everything out.

Especially the sounds of a certain spiker.

One currently ranting about how a middle school was set on fire, yelling “HEY! YOU WOULDN’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOU ◾◾◾!”

He honestly does want that to happen to his middle school.

Now, the setter is a very patient person. No he isn’t... That’s a secret. Shhh.

These two, commonly referred to as a dynamic duo (or the freak twins), are now on a Shinkansen bound towards Tokyo.

And while they both were too broke, apparently they got their train tickets paid by another setter. 

“You idiot. How did you even get Kozume-san to pay for our tickets?”

The spiker jumps up and down. “Hey, you know what Kenma is like! He’s super nice!”

“He ran away from me while I tried to ask him questions about his setting!”

“Well, you’re dumb!”

“Says you!”

“WHICH YUU/YOO/YOU?”

The freak pair bicker stupidly.

They recently found out that both were huge fans of Seraph of the End, (don’t ask the idiot spiker why, someone on his middle school team forced him to watch the first episode and he kind of liked it) and started making random references to the anime whenever possible.

And the spiker started reading Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, which was recommended to him by ANOTHER setter.

Well, he read the manhwa. Not the web novel. Because the spiker is an idiot.

Yes, the setter knows what the word ‘manhwa’ is. And ‘donghua’ courtesy of another setter who forced him to watch Link Click.

That idiot brown-haired setter quite literally broke into his house and whined that the boy sucked, and that watching Link Click would make him better.

As it turns out, watching Link Click did not make him better.

The setter kept getting insulted by Oikawa-san, who called him a ‘Lu Guang’ on multiple occasions. Which the boy knew was an insult, but still. Lu Guang was cool!

The setter ‘wakes up’ and realizes that he’s on the Shinkansen with boke Hinata.

Tobio Kageyama is on his way to Tokyo.

For no reason.

. . . . .