Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Katsuki drums his fingers along the reception desk while resting his cheek against his other fist. Annoyance and a flickering of shame are settled in his body. It’s been a few days, but he’s still stuck thinking about the small outburst that Eijirou had after being brought up to date on Katsuki’s new relationship. Or, well, engagement? Promise? No rings are involved. Are words just enough for this type of thing? Who fucking knows. 

He expected Eijirou to be hesitant about the entire thing. He didn’t expect… that. 

Eijirou has never yelled at him before. They had some slight disagreements in the past, but never full on screaming matches. Honestly, the only reason why Saturday’s altercation didn’t turn into a fist fight was because they were at the shelter. 

He gets that Eijirou is just looking out for him, seriously. He gets that, but Katsuki is still a grown man capable of making his own fucking decisions. He knows he should have given them more time before jumping right into this arrangement. He knows that Izuku is a bit unhinged and needs to sort out a lot of shit, but why can’t Katsuki help him with that? Relationships are all about leaning on each other for support and shit right?

Groaning, his forehead falls onto the cool wood of the desk. He doesn’t regret what he has with Izuku. He fully plans on them never parting again from each other and he can tell from the way Izuku looks at him and speaks to him that the feeling is mutual. 

Katsuki just can’t shake what Eijirou yelled at him and how the fight played out. 

Eijirou’s cheeks were flushed with an anger that had his face matching the color of his unstyled hair. He paced back and forth–his breathing ragged as his adrenaline from his rage overworked his body. 

Katsuki’s own heart beat painfully in his chest. He continued to press down on his pulse, urging it to settle and not cause a fucking scene that would have him be rushed to the hospital. He was fine. He’s just fighting with Eijirou over bullshit and they’ll talk it through and it’ll be fine.

When Eijirou finally turned back to face him properly, his eyes were narrowed in a harsh pinch that had his veins bulging on his forehead. His sharpened teeth poked out past his lips as a result of the snarl that pulled on his mouth. His hands had hardened from his quirk due to his emotions. With the way he was throwing them around as he began to yell, Katsuki prepared for broken furniture or having to fix the plaster of the wall. 

“This obsession he has with you isn’t normal, Katsuki!” Eijirou’s voice was rough in a way he hadn’t heard since the war. Apprehension and irritation laced through each syllable that he hurled forward. “What kind of guy agrees to an engagement a week after a break up of a two year relationship?!”

Katsuki suppressed a scoff. “It’s not an obsession. Stop making it seem like he’s some sort of creepy stalker who managed to get into my life.”

Eijirou paused–tonguing the back of his teeth as he debated his words. He was clearly hesitant on what he wanted to say, as if he didn’t know if it would cross a line. Katsuki almost snapped at him then. His best friend finally spoke before he was given the chance, “That may as well be what he is. I talked to Todoroki, you know? After you told me he showed up here.”

A chill, painful spark shot through Katsuki’s entire body. Sweat began to gather on his palms that had him wiping them onto his jeans. He didn’t understand why Eijirou would go behind his back to reach out to Todoroki of all people. What was even the point of that? Why would he have the desire to talk to Todoroki about Izuku? What could he possibly gain from that? 

Katsuki forced his voice to pass through his closing throat. The edges of his words were ragged, but his overwhelming confusion and irritation let his emotions be known. “Why would you do that? What the hell does he have to do with this–”

“You know you’re the reason he broke up with him right?” Eijirou cut him off. The previous harsh tone in his voice was replaced with assertion. He knew what he was saying was true, regardless of if Katsuki would agree with him or not. Katsuki straightened his posture and locked his jaw as if preparing for a punch. “His obsession with you destroyed that relationship.”

He gave a curt nod. That wasn’t new information, though the word obsession wasn’t being used when Izuku gave his impromptu confession two days ago. “Izuku told me Todoroki realized he was in love with me before he did and that’s why.”

Eijirou’s tongue traced over his lip before he pulled it between his teeth. A small strip of blood painted the bone when it was pulled back. The bright red threatened to drip down his chin, but only continued to pool in a larger droplet. As if waiting for a final pulsing beat of his heart to send the blood bubbling out of him. “Did he also tell you about the photo album?”

The wind was knocked out of his lungs as the punch hit Katsuki square in the chin. His teeth grounded into each other as he watched the red from Eijirou’s lip fall to the dark wooden floor–a stain that would be forgotten and hidden in the designs until the floorboards are pulled decades later. 

“What photo album?”

A warriness entered Eijirou’s eyes that wasn’t present just a few moments earlier. It wasn’t fear, but it was something akin to it. A deeply, unsettling emotion that surrounded the two of them in a hollow atmosphere. Katsuki could hear every beat of his heart in his ears. He could feel the blood moving through his veins and how his stomach threatened to overturn the salmon he had for lunch. 

Eijirou’s voice dropped in volume, as if he didn’t want to risk even the cats from overhearing them. “He had a collection on his phone of every picture posted online of you. Not just the ones you posted yourself. Every picture that I posted or Kyouka or Denki or anyone. Almost all of them were zoomed in on your face and Todoroki said he’d just stare at them when he thought no one was looking. Like he was reading the morning paper or something.”

Katsuki’s throat tightened at the imagery. Izuku had saved every photo of him? And kept them in a folder to look at whenever he wanted? “Thats-”

“A creepy fucking obsession like a stalker.” Eijirou cut him off before he could complete his thought. Maybe it was for the best, considering not even Katsuki himself knew what he would have said in response to that. “I figured Uraraka dumped him because he crashed out over thinking we were dating, and guess what? I was right. Asked her too.”

“Ei-”

“Katsuki, I’m just asking you to listen to me. I’m saying this as your best friend, this isn’t healthy. You’re finally at a stable place. You’re happy. Your body is healthy and you’re doing great. You can’t let him take that spark away from you.
Any apprehension that Katsuki was feeling was replaced with his previous irritation. “He’s not taking away shit. In case you forgot, I’m the one who asked him and told him it’d be a forever thing. I’m not giving him the option to get away from me again.”

Eijirou’s hands gripped at his hair as he groaned. He returned to his previous pacing as he mumbled out numbers in an attempt to calm his own rage. Considering he turned back and took Katsuki’s work shirt between his fists, it didn’t exactly work. “That’s not the fucking point! He’s unstable. If anything, what’s stopping him from bringing you down with him? You don’t think his obsession could turn violent? That he’d try to restrict what you do? That he might try to keep you to himself now that he finally has you?”

Katsuki stumbled on his feet from the sudden pull–his own fists gripping into Eijirou’s for both support and retaliation. “Stop talking about him like he’s some deranged serial killer! Izuku would never hurt me.”

The two glared at each other as their chests rose and fell with shaking breaths. Eijrou’s eyes, while irritated and pained, also held a deep, terrifying concern that had Katsuki dropping his hands and pulling back. His friend let him move as his own hands fell back to his side. 

“Have you even told him?”

A tense, uneasy silence fell between them. There was no need for Eijirou to say what it was. Memories of freezing rain and burnt, knotted hair flashed through Katsuki’s mind. It was a time he’s worked to move past. Years have been spent healing and rebuilding himself to never fall back to that time of his life where all felt lost. There was no need to re-open old wounds. 

“...I don’t plan to.”

“Because you know he’ll freak out? That he might try to shelter you? Because he’s fucking obsessive and crazy and–”

“ENOUGH!” The raise in Katsuki’s voice took them both by surprise, though that didn’t stop him from continuing. “God, Ei! Can you fucking drop it?!”

A harsh finger was jabbed into his chest. “No, Katsuki. I won’t. Not until you fucking open your eyes and think with your brain instead of your heart and dick.”

Eijirou was giving him tough love and Katsuki knows he’s just looking out for him and has his best intentions…but shit. Izuku really wasn’t doing him any fucking favors. 

Katsuki can’t deny that there’s a clear obsession with his past actions. His cheeks flush as he remembers Friday night and the mess of Saturday morning. Izuku’s current actions aren’t much better, either. 

They weren’t even speaking, yet Izuku had a photo album filled with images of Katsuki’s face that he would just…stare at? Katsuki feels his torso begin to burn as he imagines what else Izuku may have done when staring at his photos. 

When in a relationship with Todoroki, was Izuku getting off to the pictures of him? Would he imagine his face over his actual boyfriend’s body as he thrusted into him? Would Izuku close his eyes and imagine it was Katsuki going down on him instead? Just how much of his mind was consumed with thoughts of another man? 

Katsuki feels the flicker of shame rise higher and hotter the more he thinks about it. He shouldn’t like that idea. How Izuku acted, how he’s currently acting, isn’t exactly safe or sane. He can’t deny that Izuku is obsessive of him to a degree.

Okay. His obsession could probably break the scale. Still, he wouldn’t go as far as to hurt Katsuki or attempt to control his life. Katsuki would never allow him to do that, anyways. It doesn’t matter if Katsuki is in love with him, he won’t allow himself to be walked over or manipulated like a fucking doll. 

So then why is he so hesitant to reveal that portion of his life? Those two years after graduation and how his life was completely turned on its head? It’s not…it’s not that he thinks Izuku would attempt to shelter him or become overly clingy if he found out about his almost suicide attempt or his darkening mental health. 

When Izuku first came back into his life barely a week ago, it was simply that it would be way too big of a bomb to drop in a first meeting. It’s something that would need to be worked up to, because honestly, going ‘ in the first two years of us not talking I fell into such a horrible depression that I was wasting away in the prison of my own body and almost jumped from a bridge ’ isn’t exactly a great conversation starter. Even now with the forever promised between them, it still doesn’t feel right. 

Yes, he has healed from that night and those horrible two years. He is stronger mentally than he has ever been. His nightmares haven’t been plagued with chilling rain or the sound of rapid currents in a long time. He just…Katsuki just hasn’t told someone the details of that night or the leading actions since his therapist, and that was five years ago. 

Outside of his parents, Ei, and Kyouka, he hasn’t told anyone else in his life. He doesn’t want the look of pity that comes along with it, or the possible blame and guilt he may feel from their sorrowful expressions. He’s been lucky so far. The people he’s told have always put him first and made him feel loved and cherished and not so overcome with regret at his possible actions to leave him bedridden. 

Is he worried that Izuku may do that? That he may blame Katsuki or insinuate something horrible? 

No. No he would never do that. This is Izuku. Katsuki just…he just needs time. Yeah. He just needs a little bit longer to get his thoughts in order and approach the subject easily. They have the entire rest of their lives together, time isn’t exactly something they’re short on anymore. It’s not like Izuku will be able to find out on his own, anyways. 

_____

Mina’s loud laughter has Katsuki’s ears ringing as he sends her a glare across the table. His obvious disapproval at the volume is ignored while she continues to swing her empty glass in the air. She’s screaming for a refill far too loudly considering the mostly empty establishment. The group really needs to start cutting her off sooner. 

Eijirou gives an apologetic nod to the staff that only sighs in response. This is their regular spot. All their drinks are memorized and they even have their own punch cards. The owners were initially ecstatic when the group of heroes (and Katsuki) began to frequent it a few years ago. 

Now, they’re always brought to the far corner of the place so that their voices are mostly silenced from the speaker that blares too loudly above their heads. Katsuki always leaves the bar with a splitting migraine. He hasn’t properly gone out with his band of idiots in a while as a result. 

It’s not like he drinks anyways. He can’t. Too much medication between the stabilization of his condition and his mental well being. He watches as the condensation slips down the glass of his diet coke while he debates how long he’ll be able to go without having to be back here. He’s not even sure why he’s here now to begin with. 

It’s Thursday, just a day shy of the week anniversary of his new ‘ forever’ , as cringe as it may sound. He plans to meet up with Izuku again tomorrow evening. They’re both busy, working adults with responsibilities. Obviously they wouldn’t be able to see each other every day. They simply took for granted the fact that the nerd had a week off. 

Katsuki’s mind and hands have already played out numerous possible scenarios of what tomorrow may bring, not that he’s given Izuku anything more than a ‘ fuck off’ in response when asked. He knows that ‘ official’ sex is probably what’s next in line for them. For some reason, despite the absolute sins they committed a week prior, this somehow feels more…final. The two of them having actual penetrative sex would ‘ officially’ take away Katsuki’s virgin status. 

That’s what's always used as the defining factor right? The entire concept of virginity being based on if a cock has ever been in you or if you put your cock in another person? Or at least some phallic glass or silicone item that's strapped across someone's waist or held in their hand. Not that Katsuki truly considers himself a virgin after almost drowning Izuku in his squirt but–

“Katsuki! You alright?”

Shifting his gaze, Katsuki’s eyes flick up to see Kyouka looking him over with a raised eyebrow. The rest of the table continues to banter without their inclusion. It wouldn’t be the first time they drifted into their own little world together, anyways.

“I’m fine, Ears. Just thinkin.” 

Her eyes narrow at him–her chin tilting up as she crosses her arms over her chest. Katsuki takes a breath to prepare himself for her interrogation. 

“‘Bout what?”

“Nonya.”

“Katsuki.”

Sighing, Katsuki pokes a finger into her forehead to push her back. She makes a dramatic motion of falling against the cushioned seat of the booth that has his lip twitching into a smile. “Just thinking about what I might do tomorrow. Relax, Kyou.”

From the warriness in her gaze, it’s still clear that she doesn’t fully believe what he’s saying. Regardless, his wording seems to spark a memory that has her knocking her fist into her open palm. “Oh that reminds me! I wanted to check if you were free. There’s a new late night raccoon cafe that’s opened up and I wanted to check it out. Would you wanna go with me tomorrow?”

“Sounds like a date spot. Any reason you aren’t taking Pikachu?”

Kyouka’s face deadpans as her eyes flip over to her boyfriend in the seat next to her. “He’s scared of racoons.”
Said boyfriend breaks away from his conversation to point an accusatory finger at her. “AM NOT!”

“Then why won’t you go with me?”

Denki’s lip pouts as he averts his eyes. “I’m busy-”

“You never work Friday nights. What is it that you were muttering after I told you about the cafe? That the ‘t hings ’ have creepy little hands–”

“ULGH. Don’t remind me!”

“See?” Kyouka points a thumb in his direction as she shakes her head. Katsuki can only roll his eyes at their dynamic. “Anyways, you free? Or do you have to work late?”

“Not working late, but also not free. Got plans.”

Kyouka’s eyebrow raises as a teasing smirk shows on her lips. “Oh? Gotta hot date Mr. Anti Social?”

Swallowing, Katsuki nods and mentally prepares himself for the reaction his answer may bring. “Yeah. I actually do.”

Kyouka’s eyes widen while Denki’s head snaps (was that a crack?!) to the side to look at him with his own bemused expression. 

“KATSUKI HAS A DATE?!”

The rest of the table falls silent thanks to the exclamation. The only member of the table who doesn’t look shocked and excited is Eijirou, for obvious reasons. Apprehension builds in Katsuki’s chest from the sudden onslaught of attention. This wasn’t exactly how he was planning on letting everyone know, but it’s a bit too late now to back out of it. 

Kyouka’s voice is light, teasing tone lost as her eyes brighten and her smile turns cheerful. Genuine excitement on her features at the idea of Katsuki finally finding someone. His heart aches at the reaction he may receive when he voices who it is. “Seriously? You have a date?”

Nodding, Katsuki rings his bottom lip between his teeth. He wanted to have this conversation alone with her and properly talk it through but he just hasn’t had the time. The four other sets of eyes staring at him are making his shirt feel tight and constricting against his body. “Yeah. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it, actually. I’ve just–”

A series of questions from Denki, Hanta, and Mina interrupt the conversation he attempts to have. It only makes the tightness of his torso and the sweat that’s building on his temple worse as the control of the situation leaves him. 

“Where’d you meet?!”

“Did he come by to adopt? Is that how?”

“Omg. Imagine they met at the pet store buying supplies or something. How cute!”

“Is this gonna be your first date? Second? Fifth?”

“What’s his name? Do you think we might know him?”

“You do.”

Eijirou’s curt voice interrupts the series of questions. His face is pulled into an annoyed expression that has further dread pooling in Katsuki’s stomach. The excitement that was being shown by his friends slip from their cheeks. Worry and confusion show in Kyouka’s eyes as she manages to ask, “Who is it?”

Katsuki’s tongue feels like it’s made of cotton–the roof of his mouth only causing the material to get stuck in his spit and clog up his throat. He attempts to respond, but his lips only open and close wordlessly as his body betrays him. He’s not…he’s not scared of his friends' reactions. He doesn’t need to tell them that they’re basically engaged and how fast the two of them are moving. He can bring Kyouka up to speed later tonight but for right now he can just lie and–

“It’s Midoriya. And they’re engaged.”

It’s like the booth seat vanishes from underneath him. Katsuki’s stomach flies into his throat as he plummets past the hardwood floor and into the deep void hidden beneath. His head rings–ears popping from the drastic change in altitude. His lungs aren’t working the way they're supposed to. There’s no air this far underground. The light above is quickly vanishing from his view and–

Two hands, slightly cold with nails that poke a bit above the fingers press lightly into his cheeks. The small circle of light expands to show Kyouka’s concerned face and her lips that move soundlessly. Katsuki can vaguely make out a ‘ Focus on me’ and 'Let's step outside’ before he’s ushered out of the booth. From the corner of his eye he can make out the harsh glare she sends to Eijirou, but it’s shaken off with an eyeroll. 

The chill evening air manages to bring him all the way back as they step outside. The harsh ringing in his head subsides into a low buzz that while irritating, he can at least ignore. Kyouka leads him by the hand to a nearby bench and settles them onto the wood. His fingers stretch to find her pulse to match his breathing to. Her heart beat is always steady, always consistent and calming in a way that pauses his anxiety and allows his breath to stabilize. 

She doesn’t initiate the conversation. She never does when he’s like this. Kyouka will wait patiently without complaints until Katsuki finally breaks the silence. Whenever he’s ready, whenever his words finally begin to work again, she’ll be there. She always is. 

He’s unsure how much time passes before everything about him finally settles. A deep breath leaves him as he blinks up at the darkening sky. There’s no hesitance in his voice as he retells the events of the past week. 

How Izuku showed up at the shelter looking like a hot mess, the beginnings of their conversations and the retelling of the past seven years, to the crashing realization that he couldn’t imagine a future with Izuku in it. He even spoke through Izuku’s confession and what caused it despite the warm flush that coated his ears. His own confession and impromptu proposal was somehow less embarrassing to say aloud. 

Kyouka isn’t looking at him when he finally finishes speaking. Her eyes are cast up and studying the appearing stars. Her thumb, now warm from Katsuki’s hand, rubs soothing circles into his palm. She’s deep in contemplation over what she was just told. Katsuki can practically see the gears shifting in her head as she sorts out her thoughts. 

“I don’t like it.”

Katsuki hums in reply. He leans back against the bench and follows her gaze towards the sky. “Figured you wouldn’t.”

“I don’t trust him.”

He shrugs, the beginnings of a dry laugh staying strapped behind his teeth. “Neither does Ei.”

“Neither should you.”

“Kyou–”

The tightening squeeze on his hand cuts off his words. Kyouka turns to face him, her expression is tense and eyes stern as she speaks. 

“I know you love him. I know you never stopped loving him. This is probably a dream come true for him to wander in and tell you everything you’ve always wanted to hear. And I’m not saying you two can never be together, but it’s dangerous how you’re going about it right now. I…I know he loves you too–he always has.” She sighs as her free hand twirls the end of her ear around her finger. “Did I ever tell you about what happened at Momo’s dinner party? It was a few months before your uh…thing.”

Katsuki shakes his head. Even though those few months leading up to the bridge incident are mostly a blur in his mind, Izuku has always been clear. If there was some interaction between Kyouka and him during that time, Katsuki would’ve remembered. 

“I was there with Denki. We were joking and flirting or whatever like usual, and Midoriya just freaked out. The glass he was holding shattered in his hand and he got blood all over the tablecloth and didn’t even seem bothered by it. He was furious with me and accused me of cheating on you.”

Katsuki’s eyes widen as the scene forms itself in his head. Izuku’s face plastered with a snarl as glass protruded and blood dripped from his hand. Was there venom in his voice when he spoke? Was his entire being radiating with anger at the possibility of Katsuki being disrespected? 

“The fuck?”

“He saw us at the bar that night. When I was comforting you after you started slipping from seeing him with that guy, remember?”

Katsuki grimaces as the image of that night comes back to him. That random who looked too uncomfortably like Katsuki getting kissed stupid in the bathroom by Izuku. Shit haunted him for too long, though it gave him enough wet dreams to match. He gives a small nod to get Kyouka to continue her story.

“He thought we were dating.” Katsuki grimaces further–his cheeks begin to hurt from the frown that pulls on his lips. What is it with Izuku and thinking he’s dating all of his friends?! Has he never heard of a platonic relationship? Well, considering all three of Izuku’s relationships have been with his past closest friends, probably not. A slight slap hit his shoulder from the back of Kyouka’s hand. “Don’t look so grossed out by the idea! I’m not that bad!”

“Yeah cause any gay guy would be thrilled to be told the guy they’re into thinks they’re straight and dating their fucking sister.”

“Midoriya has never been the smartest when it comes to you, to be fair.”

“Dude’s an idiot. I know better than anyone.”

Kyouka snorts out a laugh and bumps their shoulders together. “Yeah ‘cause you’re just as bad.”

“Hey!”

She rolls her eyes before continuing, “So even though you guys weren’t talking, he was ready to kill me for possibly hurting you. It would have been sweet if he wasn’t an accusing asshole about it and getting blood all over the place.” 

Honestly, it’s a miracle that she didn’t zap him at that dinner party considering how he was acting. Katsuki will just have to give him an extra slap to pay him back for it. 

“I told him to reach out to you and just talk like you both obviously wanted, but he said he didn’t want to bother you.” Katsuki huffs and shakes his head. A comforting squeeze is given to his shoulder. “I tried to plead your case but he stormed out. Todoroki only managed to bring him back like ten minutes later and he was mostly mute for the rest of the night.”

Katsuki’s face soured once again. Considering the time it happened, that was probably the night that their relationship was set in motion. What did Todoroki say to him then? What comfort did he provide that should have been given from Katsuki? 

“That’s…”

The rest of his sentence fails to form. What would he even want to say in response to that? That he’s jealous of something that happened over six years ago? That he wishes that Izuku never received support from someone who wasn’t him? None of that exactly paints him in the best light. He’s attempting to prove to his best friend that this relationship isn’t an impulsive mistake. Showing that he still feels jealous of a man who hasn’t spoken to Izuku in almost three years isn’t a great choice. 

Kyouka sighing saves him from attempting to string together a sentence. Her head falls against his shoulder as the two of them cast their gaze back up to the now darkened sky.

“I should’ve known then that he loved you, even if he didn’t know it. I should’ve gone after him and maybe stopped him from getting with Todoroki and brought you guys back together and maybe that could have saved both of you and–”

Katsuki pushes himself free of her head. In a mirror to earlier in the night, his hands fall on either side of her face and force their eyes to meet. Her pupils are almost indistinguishable from her irises–two large, shining black pools that only become glossier the longer Katsuki looks at them. He tuts his tongue to the back of his teeth. “Kyouka. You are not to blame for what happened to me. You know that right?”

She sniffles and Katsuki feels an ache spread throughout his heart. “But if I–”

He pushes on her cheeks and forces her lips into a pout. Her eyebrows furrow in annoyance at the action, but she still doesn’t make an attempt to pull away from his hands. Katsuki shakes her head side to side. “No ifs. Everything is alright now. I’m alright now. Clearly Izuku also wasn’t ready to deal with me then. Forcing us together probably would’ve made it worse.”

A jab of her ear plug into the pulse of his wrist has Katsuki dropping his hands. Kyouka wipes a stray tear that had fallen from her cheek and tilts her head slightly as she questions,  “Are you not worried that that’s what you’re doing now though? Forcing it? Not even testing the waters of a relationship but immediately making him your betrothed or something like you’re a foreign prince?”

An image of Katsuki and Izuku dressed in historical royal garb flashes through his mind. No western suits, but traditional, high end, silk kimonos that would be more expensive than anything Katsuki has ever owned. Not meeting until the day of the ceremony with none of this song and dance that they’re currently doing. In an alternate universe where those versions of themselves exist, would Katsuki fall in love with him just as easily?

Katsuki shrugs. “It’s fast, yeah, but I don’t think it’s forced. I mean, when have the two of us ever gone about things the ‘ right ’ way, anyways?”

Kyouka bites the inside of her lip before shrugging in return. “I guess. I’m just worried.”

Sighing, Katsuki leans back. His ankles cross over each other as he rests his head on Kyouka’s shoulder.  “I know you don’t trust him or whatever we got going on at the moment, but you trust me right?”

Humming, her head falls to the side to land on top of his. “You could tell me the moon is made of cheese and I wouldn’t doubt you.”

A chuckle vibrates from Katsuki’s chest. “Weirdo.”

“But yeah, I trust that you know yourself and your limits.” She claps her hand over his wrist. “Why don’t you head home, alright? I’ll handle the idiots. Oh, and I’ll smack Ei real good for ya.”

Katsuki layers his free hand over hers and gives a small squeeze before moving to stand up. “Thanks. Owe ya one.”

“I’ll just add it to your tab.” The smile that’s shown to Katsuki is bright and allows him to look over the still glossy corners of Kyouka’s eyes. She pushes his back towards the direction of his apartment. “Now go before they come looking for ya.”

“Yeah yeah.”

With a parting wave over his shoulder, Katsuki begins the trek back home. The one positive about this bar, at least, is that it’s close. Just a few blocks down, he can walk the path easily and doesn’t need to bother with a train and his drunken friends. 

Katsuki takes his phone from his pocket to check the time. It’s still not that late–just slightly past ten in the evening. They had barely been at the bar for two hours, even if it felt like six in his head. An incoming notification has the device buzzing in his palm. 

Izuku: About to head to bed! I hope you’re having a fun time with your friends (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) I’m really excited for tomorrow!!! Am I going over to your place or are you coming here?

The amount of exclamation points and the added emoticon has Katsuki smiling to himself before pressing the call button on Izuku’s contact. It barely manages to get through the second ring when the line is answered. 

“Hi Kacchan! Aren’t you out with your friends? Why are you calling? Are you okay?”

The excited but worried tone in Izuku’s voice pulls a small chuckle from Katsuki’s lips. “I’m fine, nerd. Just walking home and wanted to chat.”

“Oh! Okay! How was the night? Did you have fun?”

The last thirty minutes plays through Katsuki’s head from the question. If he were to bring up the fact that Eijirou let everyone know about their engagement and the uh…hesitant responses to it, how would he react? Would he be upset? Want to call everything off? Be insecure? Is there even a point in mentioning it? 

“Kacchan? Are you sure you’re okay?”

Izuku’s voice manages to bring him out of his head. He’s seriously just been getting lost in there tonight. Maybe he needs to reach out for a medication update. He clears his throat before replying, “I’m fine, seriously. Just thinking ‘bout some stuff. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

A soft giggle drifting through the speaker has Katsuki’s stomach twisting into knots. “Kacchan thinks I’m pretty?”

Izuku’s voice is teasing, the ends of his words light as if he’s speaking through a smile. Katsuki can picture him so clearly in his head. His eyes are slightly hooded as he leans forward–his arms caging Katsuki against the bed. He’s shirtless and being painted by the warm hues of the morning light of Katsuki’s bedroom. It takes everything in him to force out a scoff and keep going in the original direction. “You’re alright.”

He can practically hear Izuku roll his eyes, and it only adds further fluttering to his stomach. “Hmm…well why can’t you tell your pretty ‘alright’ boyfriend what you’re thinking? Maybe I can help.”

“Doubt it.”

“Try me?”

Katsuki rings his bottom lip between his teeth as he waits for the walk light to switch. Butterflies in his torso aside, he seriously cannot imagine this conversation going well. Still, the begging tone in Izuku’s voice has all his sense of reason leaving him. How could he possibly deny Izuku when he sounds like that ? Katsuki’s voice is hesitant and biting with nerves when he finally speaks, “My friends know about us.” 

There’s a sharp and shallow intake of breath from the other side of the line. Katsuki feels his own staying trapped in his throat as he walks across the street. The world outside of the phone is quiet with just the occasional car driving past on the road parallel to him–only making the warning sirens and regretful thoughts louder in his head. Should he have waited to tell Izuku in person? What if he’s angry? What if he wanted Katsuki to wait longer so people wouldn’t think poorly of him since he just got out of a long term relationship? What if–

“What did they say?”

The shift in Izuku’s voice has Katsuki stumbling over his feet. It’s deeper than it was just a few moments prior–the tone gravely with taunt for more information laced through the ends of his words. There isn’t a possibility for Katsuki to tell anything but the truth. He does his best to steady his voice. “They’re uh ...concerned. To say the least.”

“Hm.” The dry, annoyed hum that rings in Katsuki’s ear sends heat directly to his lower half. “And to say the most?”

The words struggle to form between Katsuki’s lips–his creeping arousal causing his attention to shift to the pulsing between his legs and the clouding of his mind. He hasn’t heard Izuku’s voice like this since the horrors of the war. This irritated, tempting tone created from his rage that’s making him debate having them both skip their respective shifts tomorrow and have a day long celebration. 

God, what’s wrong with him? His boyfriend (fiance?) is clearly upset at the idea of his friends not being happy with the relationship. Yet here he is with his t-dick twitching in his boxers and the tips of his ears burning as he imagines Izuku whispering certain words into them in this tone. 

“Katsuki.”

The heat that waves through his body has his eyes attempting to blur over. He’s only a block away from his apartment now. He can hold on for another three minutes and then jack off till he can’t move once they hang up. He’s not going to soak himself in the middle of the sidewalk. Katsuki does his best to stabilize his voice and not allow his current emotions to show through. “They think we’re rushing and that we should be going about this in a different way. The whole engagement the day we start officially dating isn’t exactly…ya know.”

Silence is given to him in response. He almost checks to see if the line has disconnected until he hears an agitated breath against his ear. “This was going to be a forever thing whether you gave me that ultimatum or not, Kacchan. I wasn’t going to let you go now that you were back in my life. You agreeing to date me was just the first step.”

Katsuki’s eyebrow raises as he scans his keycard and makes his way into the apartment building. The steps of his boots echo up the empty stairwell. Still, he’s alone. Still, he only has the dark voice of Izuku through the phone to keep him company. Though this voice that was previously giving him butterflies in anticipation now has the back of his throat threatening to close. 

What does Izuku mean that this was always the end goal? Was Katsuki just some prize he had envisioned winning? ‘ Wasn’t going to let you go ’ also implies that even if Katsuki were to reject him, Izuku wouldn’t have been discouraged. Why does it seem like this entire relationship was stitched together by Izuku and not a decision that Katsuki made for himself?

There’s a simmering pool of dread that forms in his stomach that Katsuki forces himself to ignore. He needs to focus more on his own irritation than his suspicion, even if the bulging vein on his forehead is less intense than the nausea that swims inside him. 

He keeps his voice steady and does his best to make it sound curious instead of agitated. “What if I didn’t like you in that way? What would you have done if I turned down your advances?”

“Keep going until you accept.” Izuku says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. As if Katsuki is so weak that he could just be shaved down enough to finally agree to a single date. It’s like he isn’t a grown man with his own thoughts and desires–as if Izuku is the only thing that can give his life meaning. 

He no longer attempts to bite back the emotion in his voice, “And if I didn’t?”

Izuku lets out a condescending, short laugh. As if Katsuki just asked if the sun set in the East or the West. “You would. I’m the only one for you. You know that, don’t you? No one else could possibly fill this space in your life but me. Not Kirishima. Not Jirou. No one. Just me.”

Katsuki’s heart beat is rough in his chest. Loud and violent as he holds back the urge to reach through the phone and grab Izuku by the shirt collar. What exactly was he insinuating? What is with his obsession with the two of them? Katsuki manages to force out, “What do they have to do with this?”

Another laugh, another insinuation that Katsuki is missing something obvious. “They think they know you better than I do. That’s why they don’t like us together. They’re annoyed that you’re finally mine and that they can’t–”

Katsuki’s hand pauses in front of the doorknob to his apartment. A slight sizzle can be heard by the heat radiating from the sweat of his palm that has his fingers twitching over the metal. "Be very careful with what you’re going to say, Deku.”

Izuku’s voice stutters, the previous condensating nature vanishing as it’s replaced with nerves, “K-Kacchan–”

“Just because we’re dating and I love you doesn’t mean I won’t hesitate to tell you to shut the fuck up and put you back in your place. That fact remains that when we didn’t speak for seven years, I was with Kyouka and Eijirou almost every day. They do know me better than you do. At least the me that I am today. Don’t think just because I let you suck me off a few times that I’ll just overlook you disrespecting the most important people in my life.”

Katsuki’s chest heaves with heavy breaths after he finishes speaking. Izuku has gone silent on the other end. When he finally speaks again, his voice is quiet and shaking over the syllables. “...Right. Sorry, Kacchan. I just get a bit emotional whenever it comes to you! Haha..”

Katsuki swears he hears a sniffle, but he doesn’t bring any attention to it. If the idiot gets upset over him setting a boundary, he’ll just have to get over it. Izuku is just as much of a grown man as he is; he can sure as hell act like one. “It’s fine. I just got home. Also, come by here again tomorrow. Around nine. There’s some stuff I gotta do.“

“Okay! See you then, Kacchan. Good night.”

“Night.” 

Katsuki groans as he hangs up the phone and pushes it back into his pocket. So what if Izuku’s voice is hot when he’s annoyed? It doesn’t change the fact that he just straight up insulted Kyouka and Eijirou for no reason other than what? Jealousy? Fucking asshole. 

If Izuku thinks they’re just going to hang out tomorrow and fuck like nothing happened, he’s an idiot. Though, the prep Katsuki is gonna have to do for this ‘ punishment’ already has him debating giving in entirely. 

_____

The tension around them is thick as the silence continues to stretch. The two of them have been lounging on the couch since Izuku arrived thirty minutes ago, with Katsuki barely looking in his direction. He’s still pissed from Izuku’s comments the night before, though he won’t voice it. He hopes his body language tells it for him. 

They’re sitting on opposite ends of the small couch with Katsuki’s feet resting overtop Izuku’s thighs. His arms are crossed over his chest and his ruby eyes are focused lazily on the All Might movie playing on the television. He can feel the slight fidget of Izuku’s thighs underneath him, but he isn’t touched. 

Katsuki allows himself to glance away from the screen to stare at the bundle of nerves next to him. There’s a bead of sweat that he can see forming on the side of Izuku’s forehead. His hands are twitching next to him as he internally fights the urge to rest them on Katsuki’s calves. Even his lips could be reminiscent of a suffocating fish from the way they open and close and fail to form any words. 

He wants to break the atmosphere, clearly, he’s just too much of an idiot to know how. Katsuki could take pity on him and let them get to what he spent hours prepping for–but after the shit he said yesterday, Izuku is deserving of a bit of anxiety. 

“Um-!” Izuku’s high pitched voice suddenly ringing out has Katsuki jumping in his seat. Embarrassed, Izuku rubs his throat and pretends to clear it. “There’s uh…been something I’ve been curious about and wanted to ask.”

Katsuki raises an eyebrow and tilts his head to rest against the couch cushion. This probably has to do with why Katsuki's been giving him the cold shoulder since coming over. ‘ You wanted me to come over but we haven’t even done anything’ Izuku asks with a stupid pout in his head. It’ll just be something dumb that can lead them into talking about the elephant in the room. He keeps his face neutral as he gives a short nod in acknowledgment. “Shoot.”

Izuku releases a breath before turning to properly face him. There's a raging blush that paints him from his neck to his hairline. Katsuki can practically feel the steam radiating from him. Seriously, what the hell is he so fucking worked up about? He wasn’t this embarrassed when Katsuki’s dick was between his lips! Katsuki swears he can hear Izuku’s heart beating from the other end of the couch.

He speaks carefully, as if Katsuki is some feral cat that he just managed to form a bond with and didn’t want to scare away. Or as if he is reaching his hand out for the first time and hesitant that nails will hook across his skin in retaliation. “When you say you’re a virgin, does that apply to uh…things you’ve done to yourself?”

Katsuki turns his head to the side as if to stare at a camera just out of view. He blinks once, twice, before turning back with a deadpan expression. He pictures himself shape shifting into a cat, walking across the couch, and scratching Izuku’s dick through his shitty, All Might lounge pants. For the first time in his life, he wishes he was born with a different quirk. 

He wouldn’t be able to hide the irritation in his voice even if a gun is placed at his temple. Katsuki heels Izuku roughly in the thigh, earning him a wince and hiss from between his teeth. “Why can’t you be a normal person? I’m genuinely fucking asking here.”

Izuku’s voice stutters, whether it be from the humiliation or the blooming bruise on his leg, Katsuki isn’t sure. “I-I’m normal!”

Another slow blink. Another harsh heel to his thigh that finally has Izuku’s hands taking hold of his foot to stop further assault. Katsuki allows himself to be held in place as his eyes narrow. “Be serious. You’ve barely spoken a word since getting here and the first thing you ask is if I’ve ever fucked myself with a dildo or something? I swear if I knock on your skull it’ll echo.”

“I've wanted to ask since last week! I just didn’t know how!”

“Well congratulations on figuring out how to do it in the least sexy way possible.”

“Kacchan!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and shakes himself free of Izuku’s hold. He sits up as carefully as he can to not give away his uh…preperation…before he’s ready for Izuku to see it. The shift stirs the plug inside him–pressing deeper and almost tearing a whine from his lips. He bites the inside of his cheek and shuts his eyes in an attempt to mask his sensitivity as annoyance. Considering Izuku doesn’t give a pathetic ‘ Are you okay Kacchan?!’, he figures it to be a success. 

He keeps the scowl on his face as he lets out a breath. His own cheeks threaten to heat from opening up about the topic. “For the record, yes, I’ve fucked myself with a dildo. Happy?”

Izuku’s eyes widen and Katsuki swears he sees stars shoot across his irises.“Recently?”

Katsuki is almost rendered speechless at the shamelessness of the question. He manages to bite out a short, “Izuku.”
Hands are raised in defense as Izuku backs himself into the corner of the couch. His eyes are darting everywhere besides directly in front of him, which is only causing further annoyance to bloom in Katsuki’s chest. Still, there’s a cuteness in his cowering that has the corner of Katsuki’s lip twitching. “Sorry! I just…I just want to know how to please you best and was wondering if…”

At least until Izuku’s sentence trails off and he begins to scratch at the back of his neck. “Oh my God, is your brain located in your dick or something? Can you be direct?!”

“It’s just embarassing!”

Katsuki takes a deep breath before resting his hands calmly in his lap. This conversation is embarrassing to him? After everything they’ve spoken about–everything Izuku has done within the past two weeks of being back in each other’s lives? Izuku is struggling the most to talk about Katsuki’s masturbation habits? Closing his eyes, Katsuki gives himself a moment to lower the rising boil in his torso. 

 “Izuku.” His voice comes out tired but calm, though that doesn’t stop the small chirp from leaving Izuku’s throat. When Katsuki opens his eyes again, his partner has a wobbly smile on his face and a fresh bead of sweat dripping from his temple. “You almost passed out after eating me out. You came untouched from eating my cum three times. You confessed your love to me a minute after finding out I was a virgin. I don’t really think it’s possible for you to embarrass yourself further.” The wobbling smile falling into a pout forces Katsuki to hold back a laugh. 

“That’s harsh!” The exclamation only makes a proper smile show on his face. Izuku’s eyes shift over Katsuki’s figure–his tongue trailing over his bottom lip as all his desires attempt to make themselves known. Katsuki's smile threatens to falter as he’s so clearly being studied. He wants Izuku to be direct? His eyes may as well have just stripped him bare on the couch. He finally speaks once they make eye contact again. “Okay, I’ll just ask then.”

Katsuki’s eyebrows furrow. “Ask?”

Izuku nods, the bundle of curls on the top of his head almost reminiscent of flapping dog ears.“Show me how you fuck yourself, Kacchan. Please?”

The flush that was managing to die down returns in full force across Katsuki’s entire upper half. His lower stirs itself into knots at just the concept. “W-what?!”

Seriously, what?! He was already well aware that Izuku isn’t exactly the most…vanilla…if the constant face sitting and cum eating and trying to fuck Katsuki as he sleeps was anything to go by. Izuku wants to watch him get off? Why?! Is it to live out some freaky Peeping Tom fantasy or someshit? 

Katsuki is reminded of the photo album that Eijirou told him about. The countless images of Katsuki’s face saved and organized in Izuku’s phone for viewing whenever he wanted. How often did a fantasy like this play out in his head? Was the image of spying on Katsuki as he fucked himself in the privacy of his bedroom something that regularly turned Izuku on? The thought should be making Katsuki uncomfortable, not soaking his boxers even more than they already are thanks to the lube from the plug and previous arousal.
Hands spreading over his thighs brings him out of his head. Izuku’s palms are warm even through the fabric of Katsuki’s sweats. His thumb rubs circles the inside of the muscle as he slides his hands further up. Katsuki tightens his legs together in reflex, internally cursing himself for choosing to wear another pair of grey sweats. If his legs spread and Izuku gets a view of his arousal soaking through his clothing, he’ll never live it down. 

If Izuku notices the hesitation, he doesn’t voice it. Even as his hands fully dip to the inner side of Katsuki’s legs, he still doesn’t force them open. His eyes are widened saucers as he studies every bit of Katsuki’s flushed expression. His own embarrassment seems to have lessened, or perhaps it was just passed over to Katsuki. His voice is whining and desperate as he lessens the space between them. 

“We haven’t gone all the way yet, you know? And I want your first proper time to be perfect. I-I want to make sure I’m giving it to you exactly how you want. So can you show me? If you fuck yourself regulary can you show me how you do it? I want to know how fast or soft you like it. If you like deep strokes or shallow ones. If–”

Katsuki’s head feels like it’s on the verge of exploding off his body as his hands stretch out to slam over Izuku’s mouth. He debates lighting off his quirk properly for the first time in years just to get him to shut up for longer. How the hell does he go from barely being able to string together a sentence to this?! “Shut up! Just—just shut up! I fucking get it.” 

A smile forms under his palm, which somehow manages to make his embarrassment lessen. The idea of jacking off in front of the guy who has been the source of his dirty thoughts for so many years, is only causing his dick to twitch against his boxers. Izuku moves his hands from his thighs to rest over Katsuki’s wrists. The pressure is light, and more of a silent plea than a proper request, but he lowers his hands away from Izuku’s mouth regardless. 

The teasing, excited smile that’s shown to him almost has him closing the distance between them entirely. He probably would’ve if it wouldn’t force the plug deeper inside him. Izuku’s voice is light and airy as he asks, “So?”

Katsuki glances up to the ceiling as if to pray to an unknown God for support for the rest of the night. When he looks back, there’s an additional shine in Izuku’s eyes that has his heart fluttering in his chest. He looks so happy, like the asshole has already won in their unnamed competition. Even with Katsuki’s prep still waiting for the both of them, he still doesn’t want to let Izuku pull ahead for even a moment. 

He huffs and pushes at Izuku’s shoulders.“Fine, but you can’t touch me as I do it. I’m still mad at you, so you can sit at my desk and watch. Keep your perverted studied mumblings in your head.”

The pout that forms on Izuku’s lips is almost cartoonish. Katsuki allows a laugh to fall from his chest. “I can only watch today?”

With a smile, Katsuki shrugs before taking Izuku’s chin between his fingers. “Maybe I’ll take pity on you if you look pathetic enough. Haven’t decided yet.”

If Izuku had a tail, they probably would’ve been knocked off by how hard it wagged against the couch. “I can be pathetic!”

Katsuki lets out another laugh and pats Izuku on the cheek. “I’m well aware.”

___

The box bounces slightly as Katsuki drops it onto the bed. It’s not exactly a vast collection by any stretch of the imagination. He has a single vibrator, a silicone monster toy that he’s rarely used because he’s too lazy to stretch himself, half a bottle of lube, and the glass curved dildo that manages to get him to squirt in ten seconds. 

Izuku looks over the cardboard with a flushed face and holy shit is he drooling?! Katsuki whacks the back of his hand against his cheek. “Wipe your mouth, pervert.”

Stumbling over himself, Izuku grabs the bottom of his shirt and wipes it across his mouth. “Sorry! Just…I can’t believe you use these.” His hands reach forward to dip inside the box, only earning him another whack from Katsuki. He pulls away and rubs the back of his hand with a small pout on his lips. 

“It’s not often that I do. I don’t like jacking off for too long, I get tired and bored. I prefer shit that gets it done fast or I just use my hand or the shower head.”

Izuku’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of his head as he exclaims, “THE SHOWER HEAD?!”

Katsuki stares at him with a blank expression. He flicks the head of the large blue dildo in front of him. “I have a twelve inch monster cock with bumped ridges and you’re more taken back by the fucking shower head?”

A flush coats Izuku’s face. “Sorry! I just never thought about that before. Have you thought of me when–”

“Izuku.”

“Right. Sorry.” Katsuki sighs as Izuku slaps his palms over his cheeks. “Okay! Do you um…usually use the monster one? That’s a bit intimidating. It’s bigger than me.”

Smirking, Katsuki picks the toy up from the box and points it in Izuku’s direction. His partner flinches back at the sudden close proximity. “Jealous of some silicone, Deku?”

Izuku’s eyes flicker back and forth from the dildo to Katsuki. He swallows nervously and  lets out an exasperated, “I’m not jealous–”

Katsuki whacks Izuku's cheek with the head of the toy before dropping back into the box. The flush on the nerd’s face only intensifies as he holds the part of his skin that was poked with the silicone. “Sure you aren’t. But to answer your question, no. I normally use this one.” Katsuki reaches his hand back into the box and pulls out the glass toy. It’s the color of honey with a slim handle, circular base, and a large head. It’s got about five inches of insertable length and the chill that comes with the glass always has Katsuki biting into his hand. “Barely gotta prep and it gets the job done fast.”

Taking his chin between his thumb and index finger, Izuku leans forward to inspect the toy. “Glass? Aren’t you worried it would break?”

Katsuki raises an eyebrow. “How strong do you think my cunt is exactly?”

“Well if you felt how it was gripping my fingers–”

“Izuku.”

“Sorry.”

Katsuki sighs and drops the dildo and lube onto his bed before placing the box back into his closet. A towel is already folded and waiting on his bed to hopefully stop him from having to wash the sheets afterwards. Though, if the night progresses how it’s currently going in his head, he’s probably gonna have to burn the fucking mattress. 

He points to his desk that sits a bit away from his bed. He doesn’t have to look in the vanity mirror above it to know that the tips of his ears are burning. “Sit and be quiet. You want to see how I fuck myself when you’re not here? I gotta pretend you aren’t.”

Izuku nods eagerly. “Right! Can I move the chair a bit closer for a better view though? I want to make sure I’m not missing anything.”

Katsuki’s lips turn into a scowl. They’re talking about him jacking off and this idiot is acting like he’s about to prepare for a cram session. Of all people for Katsuki to fall in love with, it just had to be Izuku? 

Though, the fact that he is doing this with Izuku is probably the one way he could ever imagine doing something like this with another person. Sex in and of itself is vulnerable and initially terrifying. Fuck, it still is terrifying to Katsuki if he thinks about it for longer than two seconds. An entire portion of himself has stayed private between him and the walls of his home for his entire life. 

He doesn’t even remember a time he ever even spoke about sex with anyone else. It’s not like he was seeing anyone, nor that he would’ve been able to muster up the courage to ask for fucking advice from Ei or Kyou. 

It’s not just the idea of sex, but the terms that come with it and the vulnerability of baring open his entire soul to another person; because ‘ just sex’ isn’t an option when it comes to Katsuki. The man before him might be a bit unhinged, and certainly more perverted than he ever would have assumed, but it’s the playfulness that he brings to what would otherwise be a tense situation that has Katsuki’s scowl twitching to a smile. 

“Is this a fucking hero fight for you to analyze?”

His rhetorical question is answered by Izuku doing dramatic motions with his hands as he takes on a news caster’s voice. “Glass dildo versus Kacchan’s cunt! Who will come out victorious?!” A blinding smile is shown to Katsuki as Izuku places his fists on his hips in the classic All Might pose. He’s clearly proud of his impromptu roleplay. Crimson eyes can only continue to stare at him. 

“I’m supposed to be turned on right now, you know? Are you trying to dry me up?”

Izuku’s smile drops along with his hands. “Sorry.”

Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose in hopes to not only calm his irritation, but also attempt to hide the smile that he’s failing to fight off. He waves towards the desk with his other hand. “Just. Sit down. Fuck. I don’t care if you move but keep your pervy hands to yourself.”

“My hands aren’t pervy!”

“They are when it involves me.”

Izuku’s mouth opens to protest before slowly closing. He gives a meek nod in surrender. “Okay yeah.”

“Sit.” Izuku gives a final nod and makes his way to the desk chair. He immediately rolls it to the edge of the bed and smiles brightly. Katsuki’s voice is airy with laughter. “Oh my God.”

“Okay, I’m ready!”

Katsuki forces on a strained smile and gives a double thumbs up to his partner. “Great. Super happy for you. Fucking weirdo.”

A giggle from Izuku has Katsuki’s strained smile turning genuine. This entire situation is so embarrassing and should have him melting where he stands from the amount of flush that’s coating his body. The laughter shared between them allows his heart rate to calm. This will be another moment where Katsuki bares all of himself to Izuku. There won’t be anywhere for him to hide or any sharp taunts he could use to cover up his body’s reactions. The fact that the only person who will ever see him like this is Izuku, though, has his abdomen burning with desire.

He’s died for the pervert; he can sure as hell fuck himself as Izuku watches.

“So…” Izuku’s tentative voice reminds him that he’s still fully dressed and standing on the side of the bed. Katsuki shifts on his feet–the plug moving with him and giving him yet another reminder. 

“Okay. Before I drop my pants, you gotta promise me you’re not gonna move.”

“Of course! I already said–”

Katsuki raises his hand to cut him off. “Even when you see it. Don’t–just stay still.”

Izuku tilts his head to the side. “It?”

Nodding, Katsuki takes a breath to steady his resolve. He quickly undoes the drawstring of his sweats and pushes them to the floor with his boxers, ignoring the string of wetness and lube that trails along his inner thigh. He kicks them off his ankles unceremoniously and carefully moves to climb onto the bed. Positioning himself overtop of the towel finally pulls a whine from his throat as the plug shifts and is pushed back inside him. 

When he finally glances over to Izuku, his mouth is agape and his eyes are wider than Katsuki has ever seen them. His hands are fisting his pants with white knuckles as he clearly is forcing himself to keep his hands from moving. His voice is strained–as if he’s internally fighting back all of the words he actually wants to say. “So you…uh…already had a plan for tonight, huh?”

A short nod is given in reply, not that Izuku’s eyes have moved from between his legs to be able to see it. “Still mad, ya know. I’m not letting you fuck my cunt today. You gotta earn that, so…”

Izuku’s throat makes a pained, pathetic whimper that he attempts to cover up with a cough. He pats his chest as he replies, “Right. Of course. Makes sense. Yeah.”

“Okay, now shut up so I can do this and we can move on.”

Izuku appears lightheaded and dazed as he licks his lips and gives his own nod in agreement. His gaze still hasn’t moved from between Katsuki’s legs. Katsuki himself can only imagine what the lewd sight currently looks like. The base of the plug–a bright green plastic gem–slick with the remnants of lube and his own wetness. The inner area of his bush is flattened together instead of curling and fuzzy. His cock is pulsing as he brings it between his fingers, already sensitive to the air that's drifting in from the cracked window. 

What he’s about to do will probably haunt Izuku’s wet dreams for the rest of his life. There’s a sense of pride that wells inside him as he drops his fingers between his legs. Izuku is only looking at him like this. Katsuki will be the one infecting Izuku’s mind deep into the night and soiling his boxers in his subconscious. Not Todoroki. Not Uraraka. Just Katsuki. It probably always has been. 

Katsuki closes his eyes and relaxes against the pillows. He focuses solely on his breathing and the feeling of his slick coating over his fingers. He dips two between his folds to drag the wetness up to his cock. Like always, his movements are slow as he strokes the length. That familiar buzzing jolts down his legs when he increases the pressure. 

His hips rock against his hand, causing the plug to shift inside him once again. A high pitched whine is pulled from between his teeth. He wants to be embarrassed, remembering that Izuku is just a few feet away and watching his sin so closely. He should feel embarrassed, but Katsuki is already teetering on the edge of desperation after just a few moments.

His fingers part on either side of his cock–the inner pads soaked with his own arousal while he fucks the opening. He keeps the pace steady, just slightly faster than his initial strokes. There is no rush for him to cum yet. This is just an opening act to get both of them ready for the main show, and Katsuki’s never been one to shy away from a grand performance.  

Opening his eyes, his vision is cloudy from the tears that begin to form along his lash line. The look on Izuku’s face has heat pulsing throughout his body. The previously large eyes are sharpened. There's a raging flush coating all of the skin that Katsuki is able to see. His bottom lip is raw and slightly bloodied from how harshly Izuku must have been ringing it between his teeth. Katsuki struggles to keep eye contact as he reaches for the dildo. 

The bottle of lube is just slightly out of his reach, so he ignores it. He’s rarely ever used it for this toy, anyways. The glass is cold against his fingers and aching against his cunt as he slaps the head against it. A deep moan falls from his chest as the chill glass shocks the warmth of his folds. He drags the head of the toy around his entrance before sliding it up and across his cock. A harsh twitch has his free hand gripping into the bed sheet beneath him. 

His cunt throbs as he teases himself–begging to be filled as Katsuki soaks the toy further. His eyes are fully focused on the scene between his legs. A string of his arousal connects the dildo to his skin as he pulls it back to inspect the coating. It’s bordering on dripping; the towel beneath him is no doubt already more than damp. 

Confident that there won’t be any resistance, Katsuki lowers the head to his entrance and slowly pushes in. There’s barely a strain as his cunt swallows the glass. A filthy gasp is choked out from his lips as his head falls back against the pillows. There’s a sharp intake of breath from where Izuku is sitting, but Katsuki can’t focus on him. His head is too busy spinning from how full he feels. 

His muscles contract around both toys inside him. He can feel them jutting against each other through his flesh; the squelching that leaves him has blush coating every part of his skin. There’s no real sense of time in his head as he properly begins to fuck himself. There’s just that buzzing, addicting feeling that’s spreading throughout his torso and sending sparks down his limbs. Katsuki is unable to even flick his neglected cock–too busy chasing the release that draws closer with each thrust of his fist. 

The round curve of the head continues to knock into the perfect spot with every bit of movement. His pace finally begins to increase once he feels the all too familiar clenching of his abdomen. Katsuki thrusts his hips forward to meet his hand half way; the back and forth movement causes the plug to knock against his walls. His toes grip into the sheets as his vision begins to blur. 

It’s a desperate, almost pathetic cry, that pushes through his teeth as his left hand aggressively rubs over his cock. The buildup inside him threatens to over-pour with each movement. The dildo continuing to be fucked into him does not allow any of the relief to wash over. If he was alone, the dildo would have been removed two minutes ago and he’d be cleaning up his soaked towel. 

Katsuki can feel Izuku’s eyes on him as much as he can feel his own pleasure throughout every nerve of his body. He doesn’t want either of them to fade away. He doesn’t remember a time where masturbation ever felt this fucking good. 

Each breath that leaves him is a whimper or plea as he overstimulates himself. Only once his entire body is shaking and his hands are moving on his own does he finally allow the climax push through him. As soon as the dildo is properly pulled out, a wave of squirt follows directly behind and sprays in an arch past the towel and soaks into his blankets. Not that Katsuki is able to notice at the moment. 

His eyes are screwed shut while his mouth is trapped in a silent yell. His body is quivering against the bed–his breathing shaking with the rest of him as his heart rate finally begins its descent back to a normal beat. The dildo falls weekly from his hand to roll onto the useless towel.

“Kacchan.”

Izuku’s strained voice has Katsuki’s eyes fluttering open and peering over his heaving chest. Tears are coating his burnt cheeks as the begs begin to spill from his lips. His fists are still gripping his pant legs in a desperate attempt to stop himself from moving. 

“Please let me touch you. Please? Can I touch you? I know just what to do to make you feel like this over and over again. I learned! I-I watched so closely and kept my hands to myself so please let me show you it was worth it. Kacchan. Kacchan if I don’t touch you in the next ten seconds I think I’m going to die. Though this is anything but a terrible final sight but–”

Meaningless words continue to fill the space around them. Everything he says is simply a reiteration of the sentence before. Izuku’s want is undeniable and almost painful for Katsuki to keep in suspense. There’s a part of him that wonders just how long his partner would continue to ramble. At what point would his desire become so strong that he ignores the order that Katsuki had given and moves on his own? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done so, and Izuku could so easily do it. 

Katsuki knows he won’t though, not after last week. Not until a proper word is decided between them for this very reason. His core is burning too intensely to focus on that future conversation. Katsuki interrupts the rambling with a breathy, desperate tone that has the words stopping instantly. “Izuku.”

“Yeah?”

The corner of his lips pull into a sloppy grin from the clear excitement that he hears in Izuku’s voice. “I prepped for you, didn’t I?” The intense nod that Izuku gives has Katsuki almost worried that his head will jump off from his spine. He’s so eager. It’s like there is no other thought in his head besides Katsuki and what he wants to do to him. 

He slowly rolls onto his stomach and raises himself on his knees. He keeps his cheek nestled in the pillows as he turns to look back at Izuku. Raising his left hand behind him, he spreads the space of his ass further and taps the top of the jeweled plug. “Touch me.”

The words are barely out of his mouth when Izuku’s hands land on him. His fingers kneed into Katsuki’s ass as he places open mouth kisses around the rim of the plug. Izuku’s tongue dips lower, lapping at the soaking entrance of his cunt as his hand twirls the gem. The vibration of the moan Izuku releases from the taste has Katsuki pushing his cunt further into his face. 

Katsuki could live here–with his hand gripping Izuku’s curls as his tongue swirls up the remnants of release that he was being denied. His lover probably wouldn’t complain, either. Katsuki doesn’t attempt to hold back his whimpers as he’s devoured, it requires too much focus that the movement of the plug is taking from him. 

There’s a protest trapped in his throat when Izuku pulls his mouth away. It leaves him as a pathetic whine when the chill of the forgotten lube is dripped around his rim. Broken, filthy gasps fall from his lips as Izuku pulls on the plug. He slowly brings it past Katsuki’s rim and pulses it in place at the widest section of the metal. 

“If only you could see this, Kacchan. Your hole swallows this so easily. How long did you prep for?” Only a dirty groan is able to respond to him. “You don’t have to answer. I’ll take care of everything, Kacchan. I’ll show you how well I know you and how badly you need me.” 

The proclamation only causes the arousal in his torso to burn hotter. It shouldn’t. That final sentence should dry up Katsuki’s cunt and he should be sending Izuku home. He shouldn’t be rocking his hips back in a desperate attempt to get those lips back on him. 

He needs Izuku. He needs his lips and his touch and the knowledge he has of Katsuki’s entire being. He needs the comfort of not having to voice his desires and just have them acted on as he’s dragged to his release. Izuku will take care of everything. Izuku wouldn’t do something that wasn’t in Katsuki’s best interest. He trusts Izuku. He needs Izuku. He–

A disgusting squelch echoes through the room as Izuku pulls the plug completely out. Katsuki can feel himself gaping around air and hear the small puffs of humiliating noises that leave him as a result. Two fingers are quick to press inside–pushing directly on the edge of the rim and scissoring out to exaggerate the gape further. 

“Beautiful.” Izuku’s voice is breathless while he works his fingers. With each gasp from Katsuki’s chest, each embarrassing slick sound, a compliment accompanies it. “You did such a great job, Kacchan. Do you feel how easily my fingers move in you? Can you feel how you stretch around me? You’re so loose, Kacchan. I could probably slide right in…”

“ Please.”  

Katsuki barely recognizes his own voice. Katsuki Bakugou has never begged a day in his life. The desperation in a single word as his entire body burning. He constantly calls Izuku a pathetic pervert, yet here he sits with his ass arched in the air as he fails to fuck himself back onto Izuku’s fingers. Izuku’s fingers are thick, but they’re not the width of the plug. They aren’t the same girth. They aren’t enough. 

“Almost, Kacchan. I don’t want to hurt you. I’d never hurt you, you know? Even if you wanted me to, I couldn’t do it. So just be patient, okay?”

The answering beg is warped into a shout as Izuku pushes the dildo back into Katsuki’s cunt while adding a third finger in his ass. He’s given no time to adjust sudden double penetration as Izuku begins a brutal pace. Both are being moved at different intervals, not allowing Katsuki any sort of repetition to cling to. Each hook of Izuku’s fingers is just a beat after the thrust of the glass. Lewd, soaking noises leak from his openings and further drench the soiled blankets beneath him. Even his pillows are damp against his cheek from his tears and drool that are soaking into the fabric. 

“I know you said I can’t fuck your cunt, but the toy shouldn’t count right? The toy isn’t me. You’re so beautiful, Kacchan. You shouldn’t deny yourself pleasure just because you’re mad at me. Look how happy your cunt is. My hand is basically connected to you…”

Katsuki’s words slur out of him, barely coherent as his mind struggles to string together the proper syllables. “Sh…shuddup. Shut– fuck!”

The shock of the sudden removal of everything inside him has his second orgasm shooting out. His legs tremble against the sheets as a violent stream of squirt pushes from his cunt and pools around his knees. Each breath only sends another small burst that leaves his gaping holes gasping at air. 

Izuku is speaking to him. Katsuki can put together that much–but the sound is a distant and fleeting melody that he can’t pick out the lyrics to. The world around him is more of an instrumental symphony than a proper conversation. Hands too thick and warped to play the delicate strings of a violin keep his back from falling onto the bed. They grip into his upper thighs and massage into the shaking muscle. 

One leaves to adjust the nodes. There’s a rustle of music sheets as the next song is decided and the rest of the orchestra hurries to keep on schedule. A click of someone’s water bottle as they rehydrate before they’re meant to blow into the flute.  A bow, too large and heavy to accurately strum along the neck, slaps roughly against Katsuki’s ass. He can feel the heat that radiates from it–as if sentient and breathing as the tip pushes at his soaking rim. 

His screeching vocals lead the group into the next composition. It’s a fast paced and ferocious piece that leaves Katsuki screaming into his bunched up pillows as he struggles to keep up. There’s a bruising grip on his waist that doesn’t allow him any sort of control. He’s merely an instrument for Izuku to play and manipulate to his own original song.

He can feel it between his legs–the increasing amount of release that’s splashing up onto his thighs and dribbling down to his chin. It’s each pull back of Izuku’s cock that brings it out of him. With nothing in his cunt, it’s free to release and release and release. There’s no point in attempting to count how many times he cums, as if he is in any mental state to try. 

Katsuki can feel Izuku in his stomach. He feels the impossible stretch of his ass swallow everything that Izuku is giving to him. The blood pressure in his head is fogging his mind to the point that the orchestra vanishes completely. It’s just him, the bed, and Izuku’s mindless ramblings that he can just barely make out pieces of. 

“--ease…I can’t—...side…Kacch—can I—in….I’m—”

There’s a final harsh thrust before Katsuki feels something spill inside of him. It doesn’t end. Has it been a few seconds? Minutes? Katsuki feels his stomach swell in his mind as Izuku pumps everything inside of him. The sensation has his own final release gushing into the sheets and splashing up to his chest. 

The pressure on his hips fades as Izuku slowly removes himself. He’s unsure which sound is more embarrassing–the high pitched whine from deep in his throat or the gaping hole begging to be filled again. He feels the dribble of cum fall from his rim and drip over his cunt and aching cock. Tremors wash over his body as his knees finally give out. He’s uncaring of the mess beneath him–too dazed to bring together any semblance of shame at the mess the two of them had made. 

The heaviness of Katsuki’s eyelids only causes him to sink deeper into the mattress. He’s covered in his own filth to the point he can feel his skin wrinkling from the pool he’s been kneeling in. His holes continue to gurgle as more of Izuku’s cum bubbles out and adds to the stickiness that glues his bush to his skin. He knows he needs to get up and clean himself and the bed, but he’s far too exhausted. Surely he can lay here for a few moments to regain his clarity. The mess will still be there when he’s coherent. Izuku will still be here. 

The last thing Katsuki feels before his consciousness finally drifts is a tender kiss on his shoulder and fingers threading through his hair. 

___

There’s barely any visibility when Katsuki wakes an unknown amount of hours later. His face is pressed into Izuku’s chest–the fresh scent of Katsuki’s body wash being the first thing that he notices. Izuku’s arms are wrapped tightly around his waist. The muscles only tense further when Katsuki attempts to shift for more comfortability. 

A mistake. 

The pain in his lower half has him wincing, which only results in him being flushed closer to Izuku’s body. His lover is still asleep if his steady breathing is anything to go by. That doesn’t stop him from snuggling closer and wrapping his own arms around his sleeping form. 

It’s clear from the still wet pieces of hair that cling to the back of his neck and the warmth and softness of the blankets that encompass them both, that Izuku must have cleaned up after he passed out. Not even just changing the sheets or putting Katsuki in fresh clothes. Katsuki was bathed while asleep from exhaustion. 

While in his most vulnerable state–naked and numb after too many orgasams to count–Izuku took care of him. They’re dating so obviously that should’ve been a given. It’s more than that, though. It’s not just that Izuku cleaned up Katsuki and the bed. He can feel a folded towel against his back that was probably heated to rest over the sore area. If Katsuki was able to move from Izuku’s hold, he wouldn’t be surprised to see if there's a bottle of painkillers and a glass of water on his bedside table. 

As many things as there are that can cause concern to stir in Katsuki’s torso from how Izuku acts, there’s just as many things that fill him with comfort. There’s no one else he could lay curled up under blankets with. There’s no one else he could imagine seeing him in such a vulnerable and intimate space. Even at his lowest, he still bathed himself instead of allowing Eijirou to help him. 

His friends have a right to be concerned. It has only been two weeks since they’ve officially been back in each other’s lives after over seven years of silence. Yet, here they lay after an eventful night of celebrating the first week anniversary of their engagement. The relationship isn’t walking along the same straight path as all of those around them. 

It’s slightly warped. Hell, their road has twirled into countless spirals and jagged turns before finally leveling out. Neither of them have probably ever gone about their relationship ‘correctly’ . It’s a bit corrupted, there’s bound to be further arguments like the one from the night before, but it’s completely and utterly them. 

Katsuki places a kiss onto Izuku’s sternum. The calming beat of Izuku’s heart can be felt through his lips. Further proof they’re alive–that they’re safe. He’ll meet up with Eijirou and Kyouka tomorrow to talk through everything with them again. They don’t have to understand, they don’t even have to accept and give their blessing, but at the very least they can trust him. 

They can trust that Katsuki knows what he’s doing, that the necessary conversation of those years he’s tried so hard to move past and the events that lead to his new life will happen. He just needs some more time. Considering the forever that’s been promised between them, he’s got a lifetime of that, right?