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English
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Published:
2025-02-25
Updated:
2025-02-25
Words:
772
Chapters:
31/?
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Incorrect Leppardish Quotes

Summary:

Incorrect quotes about the Deaf Leopards bc idk

Notes:

No idea where this came from, but I got a bigger amount of this than I actually want to admit. Enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Joe: I hope you have a good explanation for this.

Phil: We have three actually.

Steve: Pick your favourite.

Chapter 2: 2

Chapter Text

Sav: I need you to distract them.

Phil: I have an idea.

Phil: should you microwave your cereal? discuss.

Joe and Rick: [immediately start arguing]

Chapter 3: 3

Chapter Text

Joe: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

 

Sav: I don't know Joe, how tall are you?

Chapter 4: 4

Chapter Text

Rick, reading a fortune cookie: If you kill a murderer, the number of murderers in the world remains the same.

Viv, with his mouth full: Kill two.

Chapter 5: 5

Chapter Text

Joe, clearly pissed off: congratulations, you idiots! you won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics!

Phil:

Steve:

Phil: ...who won the gold-

Joe: SHUT UP!!!!!!

Chapter 6: 6

Chapter Text

Rick: my greatest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. 

Rick: imagine having the knowledge of hotdogs but lacking the tools to make them

Chapter 7: 7

Chapter Text

Mutt: Does anyone have any questions before we start recording?

Rick: Yeah, when lightning hits the ocean, why don't the fish in there die?

Joe: He meant the album, Rick.

Chapter 8: 8

Chapter Text

Steve: What if I'm not good enough? What if they don't like me? What if I'm wrong? What if...

Phil: What if you just shut the fuck up and kiss me?

Chapter 9: 9

Chapter Text

Sav: ugh, something's wrong with me, I've been feeling really nauseous lately.

Rick: maybe you're pregnant.

Sav:

Rick:

Joe:

Phil:

Viv: I don't know who's worst of an idiot, Rick for suggesting it or me because I just had a fucking heart attack-

Chapter 10: 10

Chapter Text

Steve: Can I call you?

Phil: no, I'm mad at you and your voice makes me soft.

Chapter 11: 11

Chapter Text

Phil: Where are you from?

Viv: Ireland.

Phil: Which part?

Viv: What do you mean 'Which part?' all my body was born in Ireland.

Chapter 12: 12

Chapter Text

Wedding Officiant: Repeat after me.

Phil: Repeat after me.

Sav, whispering to Steve: Are you sure he's the one you want?

Chapter 13: 13

Chapter Text

Sav: hey, you busy? and writing Monty Python fanfiction doesn't count.

Joe: ha ha, real funny, Sav

Joe: I finished it last week, what's up?

Chapter 14: 14

Chapter Text

Steve: went on a walk and i saw an orange leaf on the ground

Steve: and i went to step on it to hear the satisfying crunch but it was a butterfly

Chapter 15: 15

Chapter Text

Steve: So, Joe, we have good and bad news for you

Joe: Good news first, I guess.

Phil: So the airbags in your car are perfectly functional—

Chapter 16: 16

Chapter Text

Steve, watching Phil try to play an unplugged amp: how much longer are you going to let him do that?

Mutt: He'll figure it out eventually.

Chapter 17: 17

Chapter Text

Joe: The path to a peaceful mind begins with four simple words.

Joe: Not. My. Fucking. Problem.

Chapter 18: 18

Chapter Text

Steve: I would die for you, you know?

Phil: aww... I would die for you too, love.

Steve: Oh please don't say that-

Chapter 19: 20

Chapter Text

Rick, pointing at Steve's hat: alright. What color is his hat?

Phil: it's gray.

Sav: it's definitely gray.

Rick: what color you said it was, Steve?

Steve: Dark white...

Chapter 20: 20

Chapter Text

Joe: Okay, let's get this straight, raise your hand if you think Sav and I are dating.

Joe, whispering: Sav, put your hand down-

Chapter 21: 21

Chapter Text

Mutt: Are any of you actually straight?

Rick:

Joe:

Sav:

Steve: *raises his hand slowly*

Phil: *takes his hand, interlaces their fingers and lowers it again* 

Chapter 22: 22

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Joe, to Rick: You fucking kill me

Joe: it's like being friends with a 5 yr old child

Joe: who drinks.

Notes:

This one's from here:
https://pin.it/1JcRZ9Gb2
:))

Chapter 23: 23

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Steve: Mutt, I'm Cold...

Rick: Mutt, I'm Freezing!

Sav: Mutt, I'm Hungry!

Phil: Mutt, I'm starving!

Steve: Mutt!

Rick: Mutt!

Mutt, on the verge of a mental breakdown: CAN EVERYONE STOP SAYING MUTT?!

Notes:

Mutt, take care of the kids -.-

Chapter 24: 24

Chapter Text

Pete: does violence have to be the last resort? 

Pete: can't it be like third?

Chapter 25: 25

Chapter Text

Sav: what are you doing, Rick?

Rick: doing?

Sav: D-O-I-N-G! what are you doing?

Rick: I'm listening to you spell 'doing'

Sav:

Chapter 26: 26

Chapter Text

Viv: how are things?

Phil: please don't make me think about my life.

Chapter 27: 27

Chapter Text

Joe: You know what they say - where there's smoke, there's fire.

Sav: And the Terror Twins.

Chapter 28: 28

Chapter Text

Rick: what time it even is??

Steve: don't worry, I can know that.

Steve: *stars playing loudly Led Zeppelin.*

Joe, from another room: WHO THE HELL IS PLAYING LED ZEPPELIN AT FUCKING 2AM??

Steve: it's 2am.

Chapter 29: 29

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick, trying to open a jar: Fucking lid!

Steve, looking at Phil: I wonder where he got that from.

Phil: From the Fucking fridge.

Notes:

Colourful vocabulary lads :)

Chapter 30: 30

Chapter Text

Joe: Oh I mean, come on, let's hug each other.

[Joe, Sav, Steve, Phil and Rick fighting for a group hug]

Sav: Who took my wallet?

Rick: Oh, sorry-

Chapter 31: 31

Chapter Text

Phil, holding up a fancy bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Steve: *takes the bottle and drinks it all.*

Steve: It's perfume.