Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

    She was shot again. Maria was dead again. Her killer stood at the head of the room, his gun still raised. Her blood was all over the floor, staining her beautiful dress. He pounded on the glass. She was dead again. He was worthless. He couldn't save her again. Over and over and over and over. He couldn't save her he couldn't hE COULDN'T HE COULDN'T 

  He was… cold. A viscous liquid encased him. He opened his eyes sluggishly. Out of his warped vision he saw men in G.U.N. uniforms.

  G.U.N…. MARIA!

   Pure fury consumed the boy as he snapped to attention. His sister was dead. And it was his fault. He wasn’t fast enough. No matter. If the world would do something as cruel as to rip someone he loved dearly from his arms then he would wipe the earth clean of the husks that roamed it. 

   The glass shattered as his fist made contact with it.

    Immediately he went and kicked in a soldier’s kneecap. A scream permeated the room. The boy heard guns cock, getting ready for his coming onslaught. Hatred built in his throat. He refused to die at the hands of some low-level scum. The men closed in from all sides. Shadow scoffed. He dropped down and got behind one of the agents, effectively disarming him and gaining his weapon. He shot without remorse, unflinching at the screams of anguish or the sickening crack of bones breaking under the weapon. After running out of ammunition, he used his speed to gain momentum. He kicked in skulls, wrestled off bulletproof vests and cracked spleens. 

    Shadow huffed as he walked out, feeling unaccomplished. He was in the shirt Maria had gotten him, it was loud and colorful just like her Shadow mused. It was soaked thoroughly, the colors being muted against his dark skin. The flared pants he rocked were his through and through, he had bought them with his own money off of one of the scientists who had been looking for a quick buck. They were heavy with water-weight so he found himself particularly grateful for his belt. His 4c hair was long and matted from being in stasis for so long. He felt wrong without his air shoes. 

     He checked around the base, searching for anything useful. His face lit up as he found the schematics for his air shoes, which were tucked away in an old file cabinet. Finally, he walked out of the base to find it was in the middle of nowhere. He was mildly insulted at the lack of care to ensure his captivity.

     When the speedster’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness, he could see a man. He was pale with a ruddy nose and deep eyebags, as if sick. He had a shaved head, but an unkempt mustache. His outfit was sleek and modern. There were glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. They were well-tinted but failed to hide his eyes. This was a man Shadow knew quite well. “Dr. Robotnik?” the boy tried, daring to hope. “Not the one you’re familiar with, I’m afraid.” The doctor said, giving an apologetic smile. It was kind, Shadow supposed but Something was off.

Maybe it was the way his skin stretched across his face.

Maybe it was the crinkle of his brow.

Maybe it was how close he looked to the speedster’s creator.

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.

    The most glaring thing that struck Shadow about the man’s face was the animalistic gleam in his eyes. If it was anyone else, Shadow would’ve wondered if he was going to be consumed, devoured by the man’s greed. But the doctor was family, a man who had freed him from his stasis and continued his beloved creator’s work, he would never hurt the boy. “My name is Doctor Ivo Robotnik, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, child.” He greeted. Shadow had never been called a child before. An anomaly? Yea. A bioengineered weapon of mass destruction? Sure. But never a child . Maybe seeking asylum with this man wouldn’t be too bad.

Maybe things would finally look up for Shadow. 

Chapter Text

The doctor had shown off his house with flourish. It was minimalistic and modern, the surfaces of the furniture smooth. It was all neat and tidy, as if waiting for guests constantly. There were pops of burgundy red here and there. The floors were black tile while the walls were a depressing gray. It was almost brutalist, in a way, looking more like a bunker than a place someone would live. Shadow felt off looking at the walls. Neither Maria nor Gerard would decorate anything this way. But this isn’t either of them he chided himself. “STONE!” Robotnik called out, startling the boy. 

For a man named Stone, he was quite expressive. He had deep olive skin and an incredibly neat suit on. He walked in with a serene smile and a latte. “Hello Doctor.” the man greeted, handing Ivo the cup. He looked absolutely smitten. He then noticed Shadow. “Who’s the kid?” he asked, incredulous. Before Robotnik could answer Shadow straightened “Shadow, Shadow Robotnik, sir.” Stone’s eyes looked like they would fall out of his head. “Come again?” he choked out. “He’s not my son, dimwit,” Ivo snapped. “He’s my great uncle,” he explained simply. Stone still looked confused. “I was adopted by Gerard Robotnik in 1961 and put in stasis in 1976. “ Shadow tried. Stone simply took a deep breath. “Okay” a short and simple response, Shadow approved. The agent looked Shadow up and down, making the boy bristle and cross his arms. Rage boiled in his throat. He was out of the lab, why was he still being examined like livestock?! He scowled.

Instead of the shock or disgust Shadow was expecting, the man’s eyes went soft. “How are you holding up, bud?” Stone gently asked. “Fine, thank you, sir” Shadow cursed his good manners. They took all the bite out of his mouth. He hoped instead that his eyes would communicate that the agent needed to back off. Despite the boy’s attempts to intimidate the man into stopping his niceties, the agent was still sickeningly sweet. Robotnik was analyzing their interactions while sipping languidly on his latte. 

Shadow couldn’t take looking at the agent anymore. He trained his eyes on the ground, feeling like a child. Maybe it was a mercy that I will never be a child. Weapons don’t feel, they don’t long, they don’t cry. And yet Shadow has done all of that. He’d have to leave these silly feelings in the grave alongside his beloved sister if he would ever be capable of the revenge she deserved. He would wipe the world clean, even if it meant killing the part of himself that Maria had loved so dearly. The world is my enemy and I will continue to fight with the rage of your murder. I will bring you justice. 

“May I see your laboratory?” the speedster asked, keeping his voice level. “I thought you would never ask” Ivo smirked which, admittedly, looked much more natural than his smile. He could feel Stone’s eyes trained on him as the group walked. The boy had half a mind to turn around and sock the agent in the face. But he knew this man was a trusted colleague of the doctor, and any ally of Ivo is an ally to the speedster, he supposed. It wasn’t until the boy had gone to the lab that he realized how truly useful an ally Robotnik would be. It was foolish to be so surprised at the tech that lined the walls and sat on the tables but Shadow was sure he’d never seen anything quite like these devices before. And he lived on a Space Station. 

They were all much more compact than what Shadow was used to, despite the screens being bigger. This part of the house was much more lived in, Shadow supposed. There were things displaced here and there, messy schematics on the sleek workbenches, a pencil or two on the floor and a pile of scrap metal and nails, to name a few. He felt lighter in this room, since it contrasted the much more brutalist feel of the rest of the house. No longer did he feel like the subject of an experiment but instead like a visionary, able to make his wildest creations come to be realized.

The boy realized that he was gawking, quite openly might he add, at the marvelous place. He felt his face get hot as he closed his mouth, avoiding eye-contact with the adults surrounding him. Great job idiot, now you look like a simpleton, he chided himself. He didn’t catch the way Robotnik’s eyes gleamed sadistically as the scientist asked him a question. One that would change the course of his life.

“Will you swear yourself to me and my cause?”

Shadow’s gut reaction was to run. To get the hell out of dodge and just tough it out on the streets. Robotniks’ family, he wouldn’t use me. If anything, I owe him for freeing me. The speedster rationalized. He steeled his nerves. “Of course, sir.” he tried to keep the tremble out of his voice. Stone’s frown at his words didn’t go unnoticed by the boy. The man’s eyes were full of pity and sorrow. 

Shadow turned away from the adult, instead looking down at the table. “Can I start working now?” he asked, running his fingers along the sleek design. Not a speck of dust. “Of course, child!” Robotnik’s voice was light with elation. “What do you want to make?” Shadow showed Robotnik the schematics. “I understand that by today’s standards these are probably crude and unrefined but they’re special to me.” the boy explained bashfully.

Stone looked over his shoulder. “Not at all! In fact, this is quite impressive.” the speedster flushed at the praise. Robotnik looked over the schematics and his face scrunched up in confusion. “ Where’s the power source for this contraption?” the doctor asked. Shadow smiled in delight “Right here” the boy said, pointing at his chest. “Your heart?” Ivo was still confused. “I think he’s talking about his excess chaos energy, boss.” Stone deadpanned. The speedster nodded in confirmation. He froze. “How did you know about that?” he couldn’t keep the fear out of his voice as he stepped away from the agent. “Your inhibitor rings! I saw plans for them while the doctor was freeing you.” Stone breathed reassuringly. 

“They’re an alloy my creator developed.” the boy said, fiddling with his bands. Robotnik perked in interest. “How were they made?” The boy cringed. “I’m not entirely sure. Apparently he used a mix of gold and an alien compound.” he looked down at the floor in remorse. “He wouldn’t tell me anything further than that.” Stone clapped, snapping Shadow out of his self-deprecating thoughts. “Why don’t we get into building this?” the man smiled

Chapter Text

Shadow was working away at his shoes when the adults retreated to bed. It was late into the night and Stone needed to get Robotnik to bed, seeing as the man hadn’t slept in days.

 The boy had started screwing in the jet thrusters when he heard footsteps. They were too light to be Stone or Robotnik, and Shadow didn’t think there was anyone who was supposed to be in the building, otherwise he would’ve been introduced. 

Steeling his nerves, he put his project down as gently as possible, not making a peep. 

He never thought he would be grateful for a cold tile floor. They weren’t planks, so they didn’t groan under his weight.

He saw a girl in the hallways, she seemed to be looking for something. She had dark brown skin, which contrasted nicely with her white hair, which was blinding, even with her young age. She was quite glamorously dressed for a heist and honestly the boy had respect for that. She had to look good while she stole all your worldly possessions, her priorities were straight in Shadow’s “objectively correct and humble” opinion.  

He avoided the light that emitted from the lady’s flashlight. That was until she acknowledged him. “You know hiding isn’t really something I thought the “Ultimate Lifeform” would do” She taunted using heavy air quotes. Shadow stepped into the light when it was abruptly turned off. “It’s mostly just for show.” she smirked. “I wasn’t hiding, I was observing” Shadow retorted matter-of-factly. 

The lady laughed. “ For someone so fast you sure can move from one topic to another.” Shadow felt his face flush. 

“The name’s Rouge, Rouge Bat.” she put her hand out for a handshake. “I don’t remember asking,” Shadow snapped, stepping back. “And I don't remember asking you to be a cynical little shit but here we are” Rouge responded smoothly. 

Begrudgingly, he took her hand and shook it briefly. 

At the sight of her triumphant smile he couldn’t help but relax a little. “Why are you sneaking around at 3:00 am?” asked the boy, letting go of her hand. “What? A girl can’t get the munchies?” she asked innocently. 

Her apparel made much more sense now. It was a pink, flowy robe that was probably used to sleep in. Shadow suddenly felt incredibly stupid. “Yea, no that makes sense.” 

Rouge looked mildly surprised at the quick submission for a split second but even faster, her smiling poker face was back on, reinforced even. The boy turned to leave when felt a hand on his arm. “Can you stay? I don’t know if I wanna cook something and I might need help.” she asked. 

That was a lie. Shadow knew that was a lie but when he looked her in the eyes he couldn’t help but want to spend more time with her. 

So, looking past the girl’s horrible excuse, he sighed. “Why not? It’s not like I was doing anything.” His voice was dripping with ire and sarcasm but he allowed himself to be led to the kitchen nonetheless. “So” Rouge dragged out “ how old are you?” a standard question, Shadow could answer that. “15, turning 16 this year…probably.” Rouge looked like someone had electrocuted her “God dayum, you’re a baby!” the boy bristled, mildly offended. “How old are you, then?” he retorted. “I’m 18!” the girl said with a flourish. “You’re only 2-3 years older than me.” the boy deadpanned.

 “And don’t you forget it” the girl snapped back. The speedster threw his hands up and sighed in exasperation. “You have little to no lee-way to speak. If I’m a baby then you’re in your terrible twos.” he complained. “You certainly act like it.” he added with a roll of his eyes. 

She flicked his forehead playfully. He snarled. “Why don’t we get on with cooking your food?” he asked, looking around the kitchen. “What do you want?” Rouge looked around “Stir-fry.” she answered immediately. The boy opened the fridge, the light startling him. 

“What makes it so that you’re able to see in the dark?” he asked, craving productive conversation. He got out broccoli, mushrooms, bell pepper, tofu and cauliflower, putting them on the little island in the middle of the kitchens.

 “I’m a mobian, it’s an alien race. I was born and raised on earth and have the same abilities as a bat. Hence my last name being bat.” she explained with a shrug. Shadow perked in interest. “How do you look so human then? Structure determines function when it comes to biology. Bats look Like That because it gives them their abilities.” he rummaged around a cabinet, looking around for a skillet. 

“You’re such a fucking nerd.” Rouge whined. “That’s basic biology?” Shadow retorted with ire in his voice. “You’re funny if you think I paid attention in biology.” she mocked. “Well, what do you recommend we talk about then?” the boy snarked with a wave of his hand. He got a knife and started to cut his vegetables. His motions were fast and vigorous, with the speedster being annoyed. 

The bat actually seemed to contemplate this. “Ever killed a man?” she asked jokingly. “Multiple, just this morning actually” the boy in earnest. The girl sat up straighter. Shadow tossed the vegetables on the skillet, the satisfying sizzle pleasing to his ears.

“What did it feel like?” she asked, her voice small. The boy took a deep breath, contemplating. “Unfulfilling. They didn’t go down with much of a fight and died like dogs.” he poured the soy sauce over the hot skillet, the sizzle becoming even more intense. The aroma had become more pungent, wafting through the kitchen. When the stir-fry was finished the boy plated it and gave it to Rouge. 

“For someone who claims to be the Ultimate Lifeform, you sure are human.” the girl pointed out while poking at her food. “I need not for your insults, bat” the speedster spat. “That’s not an insult, Shadow.” the girl responded cooly “I asked you to make me a stir fry and you did it, no questions asked. That’s awfully kind of you.” she finished, digging into her stir fry at last.

 She hummed in delight at the taste.

“I used to cook for my sister in the Ark, it’s a force of habit.” he defended himself bashfully. “That’s not helping your case, bud.” she mumbled amused, taking another bite of her food. 

“What else did you do with your sister?” the girl asked, motioning for the boy to sit. He sat without much discernment, thinking back to the Ark. “We had this skincare routine when she went through her pimply faze, we had movie nights almost everyday, we skated and danced. It was fun.”  

Her death weighed on the boy like Sisyphus’ rock. 

“Why am I even telling you this? I only met you, like, 40 minutes ago” he asked rhetorically. He got up to leave when he found a hand on his arm again. “Maybe you talk because I listen. Someone you cared about just died. It's okay to commemorate her.” She explained, not unkindly. 

Wordlessly he leaned down on the smooth counter and let out a deep sigh. “I'm not built for this.” He complained. Rouge huffed, amused “Join the club, kid.”

Chapter Text

“You're going to school” Stone had announced abruptly in the middle of breakfast. Shadow froze. “What.” the boy voiced his thoughts. “You heard me, it would do you some good to meet people your own age.” the man stated firmly.

 “I have a government organization to take down, Stone. I don’t have time for frivolous drama.” the boy argued, cutting into his pancake. Rouge flicked at his forehead.

 “I need someone to join me dude. School’s so boring man.” Shadow scrunched his nose. “You speak like a hippie.” he took a bite. “And you speak like you were born with a stick up your ass, what’s your point?” she retorted smoothly.

 “Language.” Stone chided softly. “I think it’s a brilliant idea, Stone.” Robotnik spoke up. 

He looked less sickly after his night’s rest. The speedster threw his hand up in annoyance. “I didn’t get along with people then, why would I now?” he huffed through mouthfuls of food. “What am I, a roach?” Rouge sighed dramatically. “You don’t count, we had a heart-to-heart.” the boy explained matter-of-factly after swallowing his pancakes. “Child, your presence at school will be beneficial because the more people know you, the harder it will be to make you disappear without arousing suspicion.” Robotnik stated, looking at the speedster dead in the eyes. 

The boy deflated a little. “You make a good point.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with the man. He looked down at his empty plate and then he looked at Stone. “Do you want seconds?” the man breathed out, his lips quivering. The boy fiddled with his newly acquired clothes courtesy of Rouge. He nodded softly. 

“You have the eyes of a pleading English child during the great famine.” the girl deadpanned. That comment caused Stone’s dam to break, boisterous laughter coming out of him that he was trying, and failing, to hide as a particularly nasty cough. “I’ll go get that for you” he forced out through giggles. The speedster found his face redden in embarrassment. He crossed his arms in abashment. “Forget you guys.” he mumbled. 

“You would be eaten alive in highschool.” Ivo huffed, taking a sip of his coffee. “Maybe it’s best if you don’t go.” Shadow took offense to that. “Please, I’m a bioengineered weapon. There is no way a couple of teenagers with hormones will get the best of me.” Rouge snorted “You say that like you don’t also have hormones.” The speedster bristled, “I don’t let them dictate my actions like some simpleton.” he said in mild disgust. “Oh lighten up, prude.” the girl mocked with a playful punch to the speedster’s arm. 

She enveloped him in a side hud. “Plus. I’ll be there! We can talk shit about the teachers!” He rolled his eyes but leaned into the touch. Stone then came in with his latest serving of pancakes. “Here. Now you’re going to take your placement test after lunch.” Stone informed him. “Way to leave it to the last minute.” the boy complained. “Now I have to cram study!” 

Rouge made a face “Aren’t you a nerd or some?” It was Shadow’s turn to make a face. “The last time I sat in a classroom it was the 70’s, there is no way at least some curriculum hasn’t changed. Especially with all these technological advancements.” Robotnik put his finger up. “This facility is actually unique. We’re much more advanced than the rest of the world.” he bragged snobbishly. 

 “Nerd” the bat whispered, only perceptible to Shadow. He snorted a little at that. 

The boy was then caught incredibly off-guard when Rogue took him by the face and turned his hair toward her face. “Oh hell no” she said, disgusted. “What?” Shadow asked incredulously. “You are not going into the world like that.” the girl spat out. “We’re going to a salon. Ramona knows me so word won’t get out about how fucked up your shit is.” the bat decided, standing up. Shadow sighed defeatedly. He followed behind her. 

Leaving his poor pancakes behind.

***

When they got there, Shadow was assaulted by loud colors and the Spice Girls playing on a tv. He found himself genuinely enjoying the music. The hairstylists’ jaw dropped when she got sight of the boy. She walked over to him and started inspecting his hair. “Mi amor, when I told you I was a miracle worker I didn’t want you to try to prove me wrong.” the women complained, leading the boy to a chair. “If it’s too much of a bother, I could find someone else.” the speedster politely offered. The woman let out a little snort. “Bello, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who can help you here.” she smiled. Shadow flushed a little and apologized. 

“Never apologize for a mental health crisis.” Ramona sweetly said. The boy heard Rouge snort. “Damn, your shit so fucked up she thinks you’re depressed, that’s crazy.” she heaved in between laughs. 

First they started the detangling process, which took an hour. The hair stylist almost cried at the amount of breakage. Shadow felt amazing with all the cytoplasm out of his hair and was fine with leaving it at that but Ramona got summit fever. “I need to see this through.” she pleaded. The boy shrugged. “Do what you want.” he couldn’t make himself say no to the kind woman. The stylist parted his hair.

Rouge put on a devious smirk. She kinda deflated when he didn’t show any emotion. “You know, murciélago over here teared up when I first did her braids.” the woman whispered to the boy. The girl put a hand over her chest, feigning hurt. “It’s not my fault you braid like you’re trying to hide spiders in people’s hair.” she pouted playfully.

Shadow’s attention had long left the conversation when she saw a tube of red eyeliner that matched his hair perfectly. He was eyeing it, wondering how it would look with the finished look. 

“Shadow!” Rouge called. He snapped to attention. “Can I help you?” he asked half-heartedly. “Do you want that eyeliner or not?” she huffed with a throwing up of her hands. The boy blue screened. “That’s an option?” Rouge put her hand on her hip and looked at him as if to say duh. 

He put his hands up in mock surrender. “Apologies. Yes, I would like the eyeliner.” Rouge’s eyebrows scrunched up. “You really need to stop being a space case, bud.” Her tone was soft, a stark contrast to harsher call to attention. It felt… odd, coming from Rouge. Odd, but not entirely unwelcome. Her smiling poker face was back, but now in a new context. 

By the time Ramona had finished with his braids, that were thankfully long enough to style, it was almost lunch time, and by extension, test time. He was suddenly very glad that the extra chaos energy that flowed through his veins made him faster. So there he was, zooming around his newly acquired closet, also courtesy of Rouge, looking for clothes. 

He settled on a cropped graphic tee, low-rise baggy jeans with many pockets, a studded belt and combat boots. He used spiked cuffs to hide his inhibitor rings. He looked to Rouge for approval when she got up in his face and did his eyeliner. It was a batwing. The boy begrudgingly admired it. “Thank you.” he said sincerely. 

Now it was time to walz into a school full of adolescents.

Chapter Text

He felt eyes on him as he walked beside Rouge, arms crossed, head held high. “Don’t they have better things to do?” he mumbled to the bat. She snorted. “Dude, this is a small town. You’re the first fresh face these people have seen in years.” she explained, not unkindly. The boy supposed that made sense. “Also you look like you eat little kids for breakfast.” she teased.

He rolled his eyes fondly. The teacher who met them in the cafeteria was a short, light-skinned black woman in her mid-30’s with a pink pantsuit on. “I’m Mrs. Rose and I will be your facilitator. Don’t let my stature fool you, I will watch you kids like a hawk.” She introduced herself. The speedster nodded in acknowledgement. She seemed like a formidable woman. He saw everyone sit down, all types of skin colors all over the cafeteria. A warm feeling bloomed in his stomach. He remembered how hard it was to sit next to Maria, with everything being segregated but here it was okay to intermingle with people of other colors.

He felt a pang of jealousy at the fact that his peers didn’t actively have to fight for the right to sit next to their friends. He sat down near Rouge, not right next to her so as to not raise suspicion. He saw someone sit right across from him. The other boy had the most vibrant blue hair Shadow’s sure he’s ever seen, his eyes were a striking shade of emerald green, his skin was a warm brown and he was in running clothes. He looked bored out of his mind. The different standardized tests were handed out and he saw as the boy finished his test at lightning speed. He’s a Mobian Shadow realized. His abilities were quite impressive.

And so is he~ a voice at the back of his mind sing–songed. Blocking that out immediately he focused on his test. History was a cakewalk, although he had to use a little guesswork when it came to the cold war. Biology was the most easy, with the boy having these terms drilled into his mind since he was bioengineered. He found his thoughts drifting back to the other speedster, using his abilities without shame, for the world to see. He stole a glance back at the blue blur just to see the boy’s eyes were trained on him. Immediately, he trained his eyes back on his packet. He had finished a half hour ago but wanted an excuse to be near the other boy. He wasn't sure what it was about the blur but he wanted to be in his proximity. He saw Rouge get up and give her packet to Mrs. Rose. He looked around to see the cafeteria was near empty.

Why did he stay for so long? The question rang out in Shadow’s mind. WHAT HAPPENED TO SHUTTING THIS DOWN IMMEDIATELY?! The boy thought, panicked.

He got up, gave Mrs. Rose his packet and walked out, making sure to keep his pace languid but not slow. He could feel the speedster’s eyes trained on him. Right before leaving he made direct eye contact and gave him a steely glare.

“You've only been here for what? A week? And you're already having homoerotic tension with Sonic of all people?” Rouge laughed as soon as the speedster got outside. He smacked her upside the head. She put her tongue out at him playfully. He wanted to take off. To run and be free from the prying eyes of the people. Rouge bumped him in the side, tossing him out of his thoughts. “You really are a space case today man.” She teased. “How do you think you did on this test?” he asked. The bat looked out to the street. “I think I did really shittily.” she sighed out. “But I really couldn’t give less of a fuck if I tried,” she shrugged.

There was a breeze past them. Much too fast to be

natural. “Hey emo boy!” the blue blur called out. Shadow snarled. “Can I help you?” he asked gruffly. The brighter speedster ran up to him, their faces almost touching. “What’s up?” the cheesy bastard smiled. The darker speedster’s face got traitorously hot.

He pushed the other boy’s face away, quite aggressively. “Fuck off.” he spat. The other boy’s smile only widened as he shrugged. “Sure man” he said with annoying levity. With a little salute, he ran off. “I despise him.” Shadow growled. Rouge let out a little laugh. “I get it, tomato.” the boy felt his face. It was like fire under his fingers. “You're teaching me how to do makeup as soon as we get home. I cannot give that dick the satisfaction of having a reaction out of me.”

So there they were, on the floor of Rouge’s room. “Okay, how much do you know?” The bat asked. Her tone was the most sincere he’s pretty sure he heard from her. “Foundation is your skin color, highlighter is lighter than your skin, concealer counters the color you want to hide and contour is for shading.” He recited his lessons from Maria. The bat nodded in acknowledgement. “Okay, let's start with eyeshadow, your namesake.” The boy rolled his eyes. ”You need a white base if you want the color on the palette to be the color that shows up, no matter how pigmented.” She explained, applying her base. Shadow followed her motions, mimicking them. “Blend in circles.” She commanded.

He made sure to keep his hands steady. “For lipstick, never use a bold lip unless you have lip liner, it makes your lips look flat. If you run out of liner, use gloss or lip stain.” She held up each tool as she talked about them. “Now for blush. Use enough to make you look youthful, not outta breath.” She said with a snide look on her face. She tapped the brush on her pallet and patted it on lightly. Looking in the mirror the girl offered, the boy smiled a little at his reflection. His high cheekbones were better highlighted, his eyes were accentuated by the dark red surrounding it, his plump lips were shiny but the piece de resistance was his eyeliner. It took a few times to get it right so he was really proud of it. He looked up to see the girl’s face beaming with pride.

Maria would've loved you, he wants to say. But he keeps his mouth shut.

Chapter Text

They had taken his arm. He was so very small. He watched them rip it from his socket. ‘For science’ was the justification. He remembers how the red flowed from his severed limb, staining his scrubs. It hurt. It hurt so bad. He couldn't fight back, he didn't want to fight back. He wanted Maria. Tears were flowing down his face. He wanted his sister. But now he would never see her again.

He woke up in a cold sweat, hot tears flowing down his face. His heart thumped violently in his chest, threatening to break out. His breathing was ragged, his lungs felt shriveled.

He stumbled out of his room. The hallway was dark, despite all the light it had in the day time. He finally got to the bathroom and used the sink to bear the brunt of his weight. Turning on the sink, he splashed his face with water.

It did nothing.

He looked at himself in the mirror to see he was absolutely wrecked. He had deep eye bags from pulling off all-nighters, his bonnet was falling off and his shirt was wrinkled. Turning the appliance off, he sank to the floor, leaning against the wall.

He curled up, heaving sobs crawling out of his throat.

He felt so incredibly weak.

The bathroom door opened and the light switched on. “Shadow, what are you doing? It's 2 am, get to bed.” came in Stone’s exasperated voice. “I -I’m so so sorry, I can't, I think I'm malfunctioning, they took my arm Stone” the boy babbled, grasping and rifling through his scrambled mind to find a proper explanation.

He felt warmth next to him. The warmth of another human. He leaned into it on instinct. It wrapped around him. He buried his face in Stone’s chest as the man’s embrace got tighter. “There's no need to apologize, Shadow.” The vibrations in his chest were soothing.

After what seemed like hours the speedster's full body sobs had subsided into hiccups. He was tense against the agent until the man started rubbing circles in his skin. He finally melted against the agent. He was so very tired. “Shadow. You wanna tell me what's going on with you, bud?” The man whispered. The speedster took a shaky breath. “You told me they took your arm and yet here you are with both of them wrapped around me.” The man kissed the crown of his head. “Back in the Ark, the scientists took my arm to see if it would regenerate. It sucked.” He said between hiccups.

He felt the man take a deep breath. The gravity of the predicament the boy was in had settled in. As if on a string he stood up. Stone probably thinks I’m a freak. I can never show my face around here again, do they have homeless shelters here? I'm pretty sure they do, seeing as- “Shadow.” Fuck. “Yes sir?” The boy squeaked. The man smiled and got up. “You're going to dig a ditch with all that pacing. People have bad days, that's okay. I'm glad I was here to comfort you.” he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder reassuringly.

Tears ran from his face. The agent’s eyes widened. Shadow started to apologize again. The man’s eyes got impossibly soft. Stone pulled him into a hug. The boy gripped onto him like a lost child. The man ran his fingers through the speedster's hair. “It's okay, don't be sorry.” He whispered like a mantra. The boy's eyes were damp as he looked up to the man. “I’m sorry, I'm really sorry. I just. My nightmare took me back.” He forced out.

His words wanted to stay in his lungs, die there and here he was regurgitating them. Stone deserved an explanation, even at the detriment of himself. The man sighed “It's okay, Shadow. But you clearly aren't. Do you want to talk about it?” He asked softly. The boy shook his head. He would rather the earth break in two and devour him. “That’s okay.” Stone breathed. No fight. No demand. Just full acceptance of his brokenness. He hated being. He hated consciousness. He hated existence. He hated being a child. So aware of the world but unable to do anything about it. Shadow only pulled away when he felt like he could finally support his weight. He felt…lighter somehow.

And oh so tired. He’s pretty sure he could sleep for years and that still wouldn't be enough. “I think I need someone to bash my head in with a sledgehammer.” he croaked. Stone let out a shocked laugh. “That's not a replacement for a good night's sleep, Shadow.” He chastised jokingly.

The boy snorted. “I think I'll just head over to my room, then.” He stretched and sped out of the bathroom. Laying back down in his bed he stared at the ceiling. He sighed and closed his eyes.

The world is difficult. You will always have a reason to scream and stomp about. The conditions of your birth are no different, Shadow. You are the source of all matters of medicine. But we'll never find out all you can do if you don't take risks. Keep your chin up, kid. You need to stay strong. For Maria.

That's what Gerard has told him after his arm was cut off. Sighing, the boy realized that the only way he could help, the only way he could fulfil his purpose was to put himself aside. Not even his own creator could save this broken abomination that walked the earth. Shadow was not built to be someone's. He was built to be a weapon of mass destruction, a savior, a god. But he would never achieve that being so disgustingly human. The boy steeled his nerves. He would continue his training, and he would avenge his sister. No matter what got in his way, no matter who he would have to crunch beneath his heel.

Because she deserved the world. And if she couldn't have it, it would burn.

Chapter Text

Mercifully, Stone hadn't brought up Shadow’s breakdown as he put breakfast on the table. Food tasted like gravel in the boy's mouth. But he persisted. The man deserved for him to at least be cordial. He pushed around his food, trying to brace himself for the next bite. “Do you know anything about martial arts?” He asked, not expecting much. “I do.” Robotnik said offhandedly “10th Dan at age 25.” He bragged. “So you're good enough to teach?” The boy asked, taking another bite of his food and suppressing a shudder. “Only if you’re smart enough to learn.” the doctor retorted smoothly. “Why don't we find out?” Shadow challenged. 

They were in front of a punching bag. The doctor was stretching so the boy stretched as well. Going down into a split, he couldn't feel it strain. He remembered when he used to struggle with that, his face scrunched up in concentration next to Maria. He leaned forward, reaching for his feet. His sides burned deliciously. He held that for a couple seconds before he got up. “How far along are you?” The man asked. “Total beginner, sir, they didn't trust me to learn.” Shadow explained abashedly. “Why don't we find a baseline?” With that being said, Ivo threw a punch. It was easy enough to parry. Then he uppercut the boy. The pain rattled in his skull. While he was collecting his bearings Robotnik closed in for the last blow. Expecting that, Shadow leaped to the side when Robotnik went in for the hit. He aimed for the man’s head as he kicked back. The doctor leaned into a backbend and kicked in the chin. The speedster fell from the sheer force. He forced himself to get up and fight back.

 Squaring up he saw the mirth in Robotnik’s eyes. He was enjoying this. The boy felt rage lick up his back, roil in his stomach. The doctor wanted to see how ‘good’ he was so Shadow would show him. Using his superior speed, he closed in on Ivo. He used a knee strike forward against the man’s unprotected core. The doctor flew back. He watched as the man clutched at his middle, coughing up his blood. Despite his compromised position, the doctor smiled. “How do you feel about fighting at supersonic speeds?” He asked. 

The doctor had been, for lack of a better term, terrorizing Shadow for the past few weeks. Coming up and starting a fight at the most unexpected times. He was working on his air shoes when he heard another person walk in. Assuming it was Ivo, he pinned the man to the ground. “Good form” Stone groaned in pain. The boy helped the man back up abashedly. “So. Shadow. I was wondering if you wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle.” The man offered apprehensively. “Yes, I need a break ASAP.” The boy started to walk out. “Hold your horses. Not without the proper gear.” The man commanded. So instead of walking outside, they took a detour into the garage. “Since I wasn't sure if you'd say yes, I didn't get new gear.” the agent explained with a little smile. “You’re going to have to use my old gear” he said apologetically. Shadow’s eyebrows knitted. “I am honored to bear your gear, Stone.” he said, looking into the older man’s eyes. They were filled with joy. “That’s kind Shadow, thank you.” 

When they finally went outside, Shadow felt himself inhale deeply. It was wonderful to feel the sun on his skin even if he didn’t go outside that often. “Put the helmet on.” Stone reminded gently. The boy felt his cheeks burn. He tugged it on quickly. He heard the man laugh lightly, the sound reminding him of bells chiming. “How do we get started?” the boy asked. He then caught sight of the motorcycle.

 It was sleek, obviously built for speed, and was black with red accents. The front wheel was much further in front than the rest of the vehicle but was held intact by two steel beams. The back wheel, on the other hand, was almost merged with the body of the cycle. The handlebars were long and had a good grip. The parts of the body that weren’t the seat were a conglomerate of different mechanical parts, with the two exceptions being the front shell that the handlebar was attached to and the back shell which protected the back wheel. 

All in all it looked dangerous. Shadow felt a rush of excitement. As if on instinct he got on. He looked over at the man, checking if his form was correct. He got an enthusiastic thumbs up from the agent. He offered a meek smile back. Realizing that the man wouldn’t have been able to see it he mentally cursed himself and put a thumbs up as well. He revved the engine. The vehicle hummed with life. The boy let himself play with the pedal, getting a good pace. It was like the machine was built with him in mind, everything being intuitive. When he finally realized that he should ask Stone’s permission before he went out on the road, the man was out of sight. He would've said something if he didn’t want me to leave. Shadow justified.

He was enjoying his drive when he heard this grating voice next to him. “Heyooo! I don’t think I’ve seen you around here!” The blue blur greeted, evidently on patrol from his uniform. Not G.U.N. the darker speedster noticed. Instead of answering him, Shadow sped up his motorcycle in a silent challenge. The brighter speedster huffed and caught up immediately. “CHILD, I AM COMMANDEERING THE VEHICLE, PUT IT IN THE STORAGE!” Robotnik’s voice rang out. Sonic’s eyes widened as Shadow sped up and backflipped off the vehicle. The cycle had stopped in the moving van.

What shocked the brighter speedster even more was that Shadow was keeping pace with him. The other boy picked up on this and a smirk stretched across his lips.“What? Like it’s hard?” His voice was distorted from the modulator that was apparently built into his helmet. To emphasize his point, he ran up in front of the hero, turning backwards. Instead of the anger, elevated shock or even fear the boy was expecting, he was greeted with a smile bright enough to power Los Angeles. The blue blur picked up his pace with a wink. Shadow bristled in mild annoyance but ran up next to the other boy. “Wanna race?” he asked cheekily. “You mean beat you?” Shadow deadpanned. Sonic laughed “You’ve got jokes, I’ll give you that!” it was taunting and sarcastic, which almost felt alien in the boy's smiling mouth.

Shadow decided he quite liked this side of the speedster. “I’d rather beat the shit out of you.” He said with a shrug. The blur's eyes widened. “What-” the boy cut off the brighter speedster's question with a punch. Fire burned behind Sonic’s eyes before he tackled the darker speedster. Despite his unrefined fighting style, the blur was quite the formidable foe. Shadow found himself being evenly matched. They were at a stalemate, the Robotnik was sure they could've gone for hours. Despite not a word passing between the two, Shadow had never felt more understood.

He was pinned. The brighter speedster loomed over him. A fire burned in the darker’s chest. “I win,” the blur smiled. Shadow put on a half smirk; even if it couldn’t be seen. “Are you sure about that?” He used his superior strength to wrestle the other speedster to the ground. Sonic looked nice all strung out and under him. His lips were parted in shock and his eyes were full of awe. “What now?” he asked. That was a surprisingly good question. “Dunno, you're the first even match I've had in a while…” The darker speedster shifted his position, using one hand to hold the boy down and the other to cup his face. “It would be such a shame if I killed you, I had so much fun.” He could feel the boy's heart race. It was exhilarating. “Killing me would be counterproductive” the brighter squeaked nervously. He was hyper focused on the boy under him.

That was until a small, pink-haired girl with a dress that had small ruffles on it showed up. “What? You had to call upon a deus ex machina? That’s low, even for you blue.” the Robotnik teased gruffly. “No, I’m just here to tell him to get home for dinner.” the girl explained carefully. “But now I have a feeling I should've brought my hammer.” Shadow was thrown off the other and the boy got up. Instead of engaging the other he turned to the pink girl “Amy, what’d Mom make?” he asked. “We got pizza,” the girl said. “Auntie managed to burn the vegetables again.” she added with a shrug. Sonic laughed. It chimed through the forest like a bell, lively and bright. The darker speedster felt his stomach roil. 

“Until next time, I suppose.” The darker said before he ran off. When he had finally gotten to the Robotnik household he ripped off his helmet and took a deep breath. His heart was stuttering in his chest. He’s gonna be the death of me.

Chapter Text

Shadow hated his life. Not only did he share multiple of his classes with the blue blur and co but he also shared only one with Rouge. He flopped on his bed dramatically after coming home. The orientation day had been a little jarring, to say the least. The principal was a large man who wore a statement belt and sneakers with his suit. He was an older Mobian, and surprisingly didn’t have any abilities. He introduced himself as Vector because he “Felt so old when people called him ‘Mr. Crocodile.’” Could the people on earth be any more strange?

 When the boy had finally gotten to his homeroom he saw Sonic and Amy. They were conversing with a linebacker-type dude. “Look Knux, I’m just saying, if you want to ask her out, you should do it boldly, I feel like she’d appreciated that!” said the brighter speedster with a flourish. Shadow scoffed. Of course he would ask someone out with audacity and ego. He trained his eyes on his schedule.

He kinda wondered what it would be like to be proposed to like that. He’s suddenly now very glad he asked Rouge how to do makeup. “We should ask Shadow!” Sonic exclaimed with a snap of his finger. The darker speedster perked up at the mention of his name. “Do you know what Rouge likes?” Amy asked. “True crime shows, beefy dudes, getting dolled up, ruining people's lives and gemstones.” The boy listed out without much discernment. He then narrowed his eyes “why?” He inquired. “Knuckles here is planning to ask her to the dance!” the brighter speedster explained cheerfully. 

The boy looked at the subject of discussion. He was tall, dark and muscular with dreads, a tank top and sweats. “You're totally her type.” the Robotnik said with mild disgust. “I mean that derogatorily.” He clarified. The eldest smiled “I will take that!” He cheered with a pump of his arm. 100% Rouge's type. The darker boy thought with a grimace.

He turned back to his schedule, rolling his eyes. “Thanks Shadow.” the blur smiled. Shadow’s heart raced. “It’s not for you.” the darker deadpanned. The brighter’s grin only grew. “Of course it’s not,” he purred. The bell rang and immediately, the darker speedster left. 

He caught sight of his first class and walked in. Unbeknownst to him there was a pink-haired girl following close behind. He only really noticed her when they were paired up for their first assignment: making a meal from your childhood. “Have you ever had yucca before?” the boy asked, taking the plant out from the overhead cabinet. “Once or twice, I dunno how to prepare it though.” the girl said with a shrug. “We should serve it with onion and salami!” she exclaimed when she caught sight of the ingredients. Shadow nodded in acknowledgement. “They pair well, why don’t we add lime as well?” he suggested, picking up the fruit. The girl nodded elatedly. He started to chop the yucca to boil and Amy started on the onion. 

Her eyes were watering. With a sigh, Shadow took her knife and sharpened it aggressively. “The less bruising, the less the onion is going to emit its pheromone.” The boy explained coolly, handing it back to her. The girl looked mildly shocked but shrugged and got back to cooking. “So” she dragged out. “Why are you mean to Sonic?” she asked quickly. “He is an insufferable waste of oxygen.” the boy answered swiftly, cutting another yucca in half particularly roughly.  

A small smile laced the girl’s face. “I have a hard time believing that’s what you really think” she sing-songed. Quite uncharacteristically, Shadow decided not to engage. He plopped the prepared yucca into the boiling water.

 Sonic was the enemy, the menace had teamed up with G.U.N. according to the doctor. There was no way he would find a place in his heart for the speedster. With nothing to do but wait, the boy went to text Rouge. She had math first thing in the morning and she snapped pictures of her worksheet. It was calculus. She captioned it with ‘Didn’t do as bad as I thought.’ with a neutral face emoji. Shadow smirked and snapped a picture of the yucca him and Amy were working on. He captioned it with ‘Want some lmao’ and a skull emoji. 

She then proceeded to text him multiple racial slurs.

He put his phone away and started attending to the yucca, taking it from the boiler gently and plating it. Giving it to his cooking partner, she plated the onion and salami. 

The teacher looked mildly impressed at their dish, inspecting it. “Usually when I ask kids your age to make a dish from their childhood, they’ll make a sandwich or cereal.” multiple kids shrank into their seats. Amy smiled, beaming with pride. Shadow kept his carefully neutral expression, sensing a ‘but’. “I must say, when I laid eyes on you two, you didn’t seem like little chefs in the making, but here we are.” She finished with a bite of their dish. The duo bristled at the back-handed compliment. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the girl whispered under her breath. “What was that, dear?” it wasn’t a question. It was a warning. “I said ‘what’s that supposed to mean’, ma’am.” Amy said with her chest. “Open your ears” Shadow added with a snarl. There were multiple snickers across the class.  

They got a demerit. A mischievous smile graced the girl’s face. “Power bump?” she asked, putting her fist out. To hell with it the boy thought as their fists connected. He crossed his arms as he held the green slip. “Is that Sabrina Carpenter inspired?” Amy asked, pointing at the heart shape cut out of his top. “Who else?” the boy asked gruffly. “I love Sabrina Carpenter!” she exclaimed in excitement. “What’s your favorite song?” she smiled. “Taste,” he responded. “You?” Amy’s smile widened “Me too!” They stood there for a couple seconds while Amy got her phone out. “Can I get your phone number?” The speedster shrugged and recited it to her. Her smile wasn’t annoying, in fact, it was quite nice. It reminded him of Maria’s.

He was harshly thrown out of his good mood when he saw a head of azure hair. He was actually looking forward to English class. He could see the other’s cheeky smile from across the room. Sadly, he had to take the seat right next to the brighter speedster. Before Sonic could open his mouth Shadow- “Shut the fuck up”-took up a rather colorful method to greet his counterpart. “Why?” the hero whined playfully. The darker speedster decided not to dignify that with an answer. “Today we’re annotating!” the teacher said with a flourish. 

Groans rang out across the classroom. Complains of it only being the first day were becoming awfully common. “Oh, come on! We’re here to learn! So start getting your packets and pair up with the person beside you!” The teacher ordered. I’m actually going to kill myself. Shadow sighed, got his packet and sat down. “Hey Shads!” Sonic drawled. “Call me that again and I will rip out your throat.” ‘Shads’ deadpanned. The brighter speedster’s grin only grew.

“I don’t hear productive discussion!” The teacher warned. The darker speedster rolled his eyes. Reading, he nodded in approval. “Odysseus has a noble reason to not want to fight.” He sympathized with Penelope, a woman who can’t do anything to keep her husband from fighting a pointless war, a woman who might see the love of her life die and be powerless as she sees him suffer. Telemachus is but a boy. He would heal, he wouldn’t have all the weight that memories hold to keep him down. “Yea, not wanting your kid to grow up fatherless is pretty noble.” Sonic joked. Shadow’s nose scrunched up in distaste. “Drag was a thing in Ancient Greece?!” the brighter speedster blurted out in shock. “Yes and no. Drag as we know it originated with Shakespear but dressing as a woman to avoid war is something that existed throughout history.” the darker speedster explained, not thinking much of it. “Do you know any of his plays?” the hero asked innocently. “Othello, I like the themes of freedom and oppression.” The Robotnik responded quietly. “Donatello Ninja Turtle?!” His counterpart exclaimed. 

Shadow did not know a single thing about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles so understandably, he simply looked at his other half like he grew a third eye. He went back to reading. “My joke was really funny, by the way.” the blue blur clarified. The darker speedster rolled his eyes. “What do you think the different themes are?” The teacher asked the class. Some kids raised their hands. “Discuss that with your class!” The man commanded with a wave. “I think that at least one of the themes is pride.” Sonic tentatively said. “What makes you say that?” Shadow asked. “I dunno, it’s just that, Achilles doesn’t fight because of his pride, Aggegmenon takes Brieis and sacrifices his daughter because of pride, and Hector won’t stop fighting because of his pride.” the brighter speedster explained. He was uncharacteristically shy. The darker nodded. “There’s also an element of loyalty. Achilles is so loyal to Patrolicus, at his death he swears vengeance of the worst kind. Aggegemenon is loyal to his country so he murders his daughter. Hector is loyal to his profession and his standing as a warrior so he dies.” the Robotnik added on. “So pride and loyalty?” Sonic asked. Shadow nodded in agreement. 

The darker speedster looked over to his counterpart to see him writing his things down. “You expand much more on your idea on the page.” he hummed in approval. “Well, I don’t really know if it’s right so- I just kinda… y’know what it’s probably wrong anyway-” Sonic fumbled over his words. The darker speedster cut the other off with a question. “You are so incredibly confident about everything else. What makes this different?” he asked gruffly. “I’m not really the smartest, Shads.” the brighter admitted meekly. Oh. Oh. That’s what this was about. “Well clearly not if you sincerely believe that.” The Robotnik sighed in annoyance. The other boy looked like a deer in the headlights. Shock and awe shone in his eyes. “Stop gawking. It’s rude.” Shadow said. When the other speedster didn’t budge he pushed his face away. This time, it was more gentle, not wanting to stir commotion in the class. 

It still almost knocked Sonic out of his seat. “You just gave a compliment. You complimented me! How am I supposed to be normal about that!” the brighter exclaimed abashedly, a rather nice shade of pink on his face. “What is your major malfunction? Just realize you’re not that stupid and carry on!” the boy hissed quietly in annoyance. Instead of retorting back, the usually silver-tongued speedster went quiet. He was making direct eye contact with the Robotnik. He was searching for something. This was all too much and yet not enough. It was suffocating and yet too cold. He wanted to be in the other boy’s vicinity, to selfishly be the sun in the middle of his world.

He wanted Sonic. 

He broke eye contact as quickly as he realized what was happening. “I would say that was productive.” he deflected, training his eyes on his paper. He could feel the other boy’s displeasure but the blur trained his eyes on his paper as well. “Yeh. This paper is… real papery.” The other piped up. “Shut the fuck up.” the darker speedster snapped. The brighter speedster’s blush deepened. “Good idea” he mumbled. He felt kinda bad at shutting the other down. He wanted more. He wanted to apologize and tell Sonic how truly perfect he was. Someone that shone brighter than the sun. Someone quick-witted whose insults stung like bites. But he held his tongue. The bell rang.

Later, Rouge walked into his room. “What happened?” she asked in concern. Shadow recounted his day to her ”- and now everything with him is so awkward! And I can’t do anything about it!” he finally complained. “Knuckles wants to ask me out? Well, I knew that but he actually likes me enough to ask me out?!?!” the bat ranted. She joined the other on the bed, taking out her phone. “What are you doing?” the speedster asked. “Going on Sonic’s insta… if he thinks he really fucked up he's going to post a rant and his friends will comment.” The boy perked up. “You absolute fucking genius!” she flipped her hair. “Of course I am.” She retorted with mock insult. “Fuck! He didn't accept my friend request yet!” Shadow flopped back down on the bed and groaned as the girl threw up her hands. 

Chapter Text

The tension between the two was so thick Excalibur would have trouble cutting through it. The silence was strained for the past couple weeks. Shadow thought he would’ve preferred the other boy quiet but the only thing he felt was being hollow, as if something was missing. He tapped his foot impatiently. 

He then heard a loud thump that cut through the teacher’s lecture.

 He looked over to see that the speedster had passed out. Sonic smelt wrong somehow, his usual pine marred by something that screamed danger. “Poor guy, he’s probably exhausted.” someone sighed. 

She had a slightly raspy voice with a brooklyn accent. She hung around Sonic quite often.

 Alarm bells rang out in Shadow’s mind. “Did he eat breakfast today?” Shadow asked, eyes trained on the brighter speedster. “Nah, he said something about not wanting to be late and speeding off.” she said offhandedly. She then sniffed the air. She froze. “That’s incredibly stupid and dangerous. He burns fat and calories running that fast.” the darker speedster’s jaw was clenched. “We need to get him on his back. Now.” not needing another word, she helped him. Murmurs broke out across the class. 

When they had finally gotten him on his back she backhanded the unconscious boy so hard even Shadow flinched. Snapping to attention, the boy sat up. The spot on his face bloomed with an angry red. The darker speedster had to do everything in his power not to gently caress the spot. 

Wordlessly, he took a granola bar out of his pocket, motioning for the boy to eat it. With a great deal of hesitation, Sonic took it. He slowly took a bite, evidently incredibly confused. Swallowing and realizing it was just a granola bar, he devoured it. His smell was back to normal.

 The girl noticed this and enveloped him in a hug. She then proceeded to shake him by the shoulders “Never skip breakfast again!” she commanded harshly. Shadow put a hand on her shoulder, motioning for her to cut it out. “Your blood sugar crashed. You need to eat regularly, especially before you run, seeing as you burn calories much faster than the average person when you do.” he explained, refusing to meet Sonic in the eye. 

“How do you know that?” the English teacher interrogated. Shadow stood up and went back to his seat. “I like biology, it’s basic stuff.” the boy said slowly, as if he were explaining something to a particularly stupid child, trying to ease the tension. His posture certainly didn’t help with it being stiff and defensive. 

Forcing himself to relax he tapped his fingers on the desk. “You should probably get on with your lecture, Mr. Stewart.” he hummed boredly, training his eyes on his moving fingers. He felt watched, analyzed. Rage roiled in his throat. “Dismiss the Wachowski to the Nurse’s office, he needs rest.” he added. “I wouldn‘t say that-” the brighter speedster started. The darker cut him off with a deadly glare. “You didn’t even realize that you needed to eat this morning.” he snarled. 

The other opened his mouth to dispute him but quickly closed it. “He clocked you!” the girl hollered. “Shut up Sticks” the formerly unconscious boy muttered. “Well, since your classmate here knows so much, you may go down to the nurse’s.” The man’s tone was laced with sarcasm and ire. “Don’t speed there.” Sticks commanded Sonic. The speedster rolled his eyes, but obliged anyway. The mood in the classroom was still tense. Rumors that Sonic was poisoned, that Shadow was a secret scientist, that he had the school under his finger as a Robotnik. “Silence.” the teacher demanded. 

As the class fell quiet Shadow could feel Mr. Steward’s eyes glued on him. “Now, let's see. Shadow, can you tell me who Maria Robotnik is?” The boy’s blood ran cold. “Why do you ask?” he inquired through gritted teeth, trying his darndest not to leap out of his chair and murder the teacher in a rage filled frenzy. “Oh, I was just wondering, since you two share the same name. She was a girl my old superior had almost taken as a lover.” he said with an air of cool. 

The darker remembered Abraham, a kid who tormented him in the Ark. She had broken it off with him when she caught Shadow crumpled on the ground with a bleeding nose, reaching for his inhibitor rings. “Ew why are you telling me about your old superior's love life? That’s a weird thing to discuss in a classroom full of minors.” he tried to channel his inner Rouge. Things like ‘Preach’ and ‘Thank you’ rang out across the classroom. The teacher’s face flushed red, not expecting the Drake allegations. He very clearly forgot he was dealing with a teenager. “How dare you-” Mr. Steward was cut off by the bell. Sticks’ gaze was trained on the speedster, her eyes narrowed. He felt naked suddenly. 

Later, at lunch Shadow had taken his seat next to Helen, a kind, blonde, wheelchair-bound girl. She was a pleasure to be around and the conversations he had with her were always pleasant. “Hey Shadow!” she smiled, unzipping her bag. “Greetings, Helen.” he gave her a ghost of a smile, her joy infectious and rejuvenating. He took out his earbuds, listening to team hero’s conversation. 

Espio, a boy with magenta hair, monolids and a generally mysterious aura slid into the seat across from him. The speedster gave a respectful little wave and it was returned. Straining his ears, he could tell the team wasn’t discussing battle strategy but discussing him. 

“I dunno, he’s kinda scary…” a child’s voice rang out. “Tails, he just has a little edge is all.” Sonic immediately went to defend the boy, making his heart flutter a little. “He saved my life today, man.” he heard a rustle before - “YOU ALMOST DIED TODAY?!”- Amy hissed as she shook him by the shoulders. “Yea, my blood sugar crashed or whatever.” he said off-handedly. “But anyway you don’t understand fine shyt compliments me and then saves me! There’s no way he doesn’t see something in me!” He sounded lovestruck. There was no way. Sonic was, well, Sonic. Kind, loving, upstanding Sonic. 

No way in hell he was so out of touch that Shadow could do the bare minimum and have him swooning. “I swear I just saw him look over here when you said that!’ Sticks observed, looking over to the boy.

 Immediately he tried to look nonchalant and unbothered, taking a bite of his sandwich. He’s not sure why he cared so much about keeping up appearances. He just didn’t think he could bear seeing those eyes look at him with hurt or pain. Just the thought of it made him feel more freakish. He shook those thoughts away, now is not the time to get up in your own head! He chastised himself. He went back to listening just to hear the occasional grunt of words through eating. 

Sighing he put his earbuds back on. “Shadow, can you help me with this bio thing?” Helen asked, showing him the worksheet. He scooted closer to her, explaining all the questions she had problems on and elaborating as to why she had gotten them wrong. Espio was watching them, intrigued.

“Y’know, you could probably make some extra money tutoring.” He pointed out. Shadow hummed in acknowledgement. “What would my clientele even be though?” he asked. To most, this would’ve been read as a rhetorical question, even though it wasn’t, but the mysterious boy responded in earnest. “I have a little brother named Charmy, and a little sister named Cream, they would probably benefit from it.” The speedster thought about it, it could be beneficial and help his standing in the school. He also just kinda wanted to help people in a way that wasn’t destructive. 

Being a weapon made it so that he would always have blood on his hands for the better of the whole.

But now he could just be a nerdy dork. Weighing his options, he went with being a nerdy dork. Writing down Espio’s dad’s contact information, he realized that it was suspiciously close to Vector’s. “I didn’t realize that Mr. Crocodile had kids.” Shadow hummed noncommittally. Espio only shrugged. “It doesn’t really come up in conversation.” The speedster only turned back to Helen to see her re-doing her sheet, her answers being correct this time around.

 He gave a little half-smile of pride, which for him was like standing up and shouting about how awesome the girl was. He felt a pair of eyes on him. He followed the gaze to see Sticks glaring at him, trying to solve the enigma that he was. He felt a little of dark satisfaction at the feeling of being torn apart and analyzed only for nothing to come up. His little smile grew just the slightest bit as he turned back to the blonde girl who evidently didn’t notice the small interaction the two had. 

Lightly praising Helen catching on to the subject so quickly, he started to pack up for his next class. Espio stared at him in contemplation. The mysterious boy narrowed his eyes when they met the half-lidded ones of the speedster. Dropping the smile he looked at the other boy with a small challenge. What do you see? They departed wordlessly.

Chapter Text

 Dr. Robotnik is finally laying low, fucking off to Mexico for a week while the police run in circles so Shadow would have to pick up his slack with working on and testing Omega.

 Why the man didn’t just ask Stone, the boy wasn’t sure. So, there he was in the lab, tinkering away on the robot, working on his sensors. He was so locked in that he didn’t even jump when the bat barged in. “Can I help you?” the boy asked, keeping his hands steady as the blowtorched the panels shut. 

“We’re going to a sleepover!! Get your nice pj’s! I can't have my boo thinking I hang around dusty bitches!” The girl announced with a flourish. The speedster froze. “What kinda sleepover are we going to?” there was actually fear in his voice. Rouge rolled her eyes “Chill, it’s just for Tail’s birthday party.” she deadpanned. “Then why am I coming? The kid is terrified of me.” He pointed out, turning back to his work. He then felt Rouge put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Please. I need someone to come with me. Sonic’s friends don’t trust me.” she implored looking the speedster in the eyes. His gaze softened considerably. “Fine. But you owe me one.” he agreed begrudgingly. Her face lit up and she dragged him out of the room.

 “Why out of all your little friends I have to be the one to come with you.” he complained lightheartedly. She smacked him on the back of the head. “You’re my little brother now. And you seriously need help with whatever is going on with Sonic” She had claimed the boy as her brother so casually like it was the most obvious thing to her. Shadow swallowed thickly, trying to hold back a sob. Sadly, that couldn’t get past Rouge. 

“What’s wrong? Is he a self-hating gay or some shit?” she asked, turning to hold the boy by his face. His eyebrows knitted slightly. “I. um, didn’t know you thought of me as your brother.” he forced out after a little. 

The bat’s eyes went wide with realization. “Oh, I did say that.” he mumbled, a little out of it, most likely combing through her brain to find out what to say next. Shadow gave her a hug. At first she was stiff but she quickly relaxed, enveloping the boy in a warm embrace. “I didn’t take you for someone so cuddly.” she teased. “Kill yourself.” Shadow deadpanned, it being muffled by the girl’s shoulder.

 Her laugh was carefree and undeniably joyful despite Shadow’s choice of words. “You’re such a softie” she cooed, only half sarcastic. Pulling away, she ruffled the boy’s hair and led them down the hallway with their hands interlocked. 

He gripped onto her hand as if it would leave him at any moment. Maria’s did. He really didn’t want that to happen again, ever. When they had finally gotten to his room, he rifled through his pajamas, settling on flannel pants and an oversized cropped tank top.

 Going to Rouge for approval when she nodded he felt a rush of pride. He had a ghost of a smile on as he packed up. He was looking forward to his first earth sleepover. He and Maria would rave about the practice, imagining what it would be like. The ghost slipped from his face. He resolved to enjoy the party to his fullest for Maria he thought.

***

 When they got there, the child was trotting around happily, no doubt oblivious to the dark speedster’s presence. He was hoping to keep it that way, seeing as he uneased the kid. Sonic on the other hand simply looked tired. 

When he had caught Shadow looking at him, he perked up. Walking toward him with a pep in his step, he greeted the other boy jovially. “Hey Shads’!” He smiled.

 Upon arrival, the darker speedster noticed the nasty gash on his forearm. Without thinking about it he grabbed the other boy’s wrist, inspecting the wound. “Why didn’t you disinfect this.” he scolded gruffly, not taking his eyes off of the gash. “Oh! Um I don’t really know how?” The brighter speedster tried. The darker quirked a brow in disbelief. Sonic was very clearly not expecting this pushback because he shrunk just the slightest bit. 

He tried to give a winning smile but it was so very clearly pained. Shadow only sighed. “Where’s your medical supplies?” he asked, his tone was softer than usual, making the question more of an invitation than a demand like it usually was. The other speedster’s eyes widened “Well you see-” he started nervously.

They were in his fucking bathroom together. Sonic was taking out the first aid kit he had in his cabinet. “Would you prefer to sit? This will probably be a lengthy process seeing as you can’t take care of yourself.” he tried to hide his concern with insults.

 The brighter speedster’s eyes were full of awe and his face was a beautiful shade of rosy pink. He hoisted himself up on the counter next to the sink. Shadow got the disinfectant. Gently cradling the other boy’s forearm he cleaned methodically, hoping the rhythm would make it sting less.

 He covered it in gauze to stop the languid flow of blood. Meeting the other boy’s gaze to gauge any negative emotions he only saw adoration. He looked away quickly, his own face turning plum. 

He felt a hand bring his chin towards the other boy. “Why do you always do that?” the other’s tone was laced with annoyance and hurt. “What?” the darker asked, trying to feign ignorance. “That. Where we’ll talk without talking and you’ll look away.” the brighter responded swiftly, without leaving room for ignorance.

He ran his thumb across the boy’s bottom lip. Shadow parted his lips in shock. “Last I checked the best way to talk without words is by actions.” He doesn't even know how he managed to force words out, much less coherent ones. Sonic hummed, his blush darkening.

 The brighter speedster so obviously was trying to keep his cool. The Robotnik wanted to unravel the live wire that was the other boy so, in a moment of bravery, he dipped his head down and kissed the boy's palm. The newly-patched up boy’s blush deepened even more. Sonic dropped his gaze from the boy's eyes to his lips bring them closer and closer until-

“I AM IN GREAT NEED OF THE RESTROOM!” Knuckles was pounding on the bathroom door. Not wanting to cause a scene, Shadow leaped out of the bathroom window into the nearest tree. Grabbing a knife from his boot he dug into the wood, lessening his fall. He looked up to the window to see Sonic looking awestruck. “FOR THE FASTEST THING ALIVE YOU SURE ARE SLOW!” The eldest sibling’s voice rang out. Then, the brighter was gone. He looked back down to ground level to see a man. He was tall, strongly built and a dirty blonde. 

He was also a witness to the boy's freakish climbing skills. They stood like that for a little while, the man looking down at the boy until finally he introduced himself. “Hello, I'm Tom Wachowski and you have some questions to answer.” He greeted the boy. “Hello sir, I’m Shadow Robotnik and you have some questions to ask.” He tried to keep his voice level, seeing as how this was his future boyfriend’s dad. 

“Okay, first, what were you doing in the bathroom with my kid?” He hissed defensively. “I was patching him up, he neglected his wound,”the boy quietly answered. This seemed to satisfy Mr. Wachowski. 

Then, the birthday boy trotted up. He was adorable. Shadow was sure his heart melted a little when he took his dad's hand. “Dad, it's okay, Sonic knows what he's doing.” Tails reassured. Shadow shot him a look of gratitude. The man bristled but relented nonetheless. The boy then felt a body crash into him, hugging him from behind. 

It was warm and undeniably familiar. “Hey Sonic.” The darker speedster greeted him. The brighter one smiled and the other boy couldn’t help but offer a small smile back. Which for him was the equivalent of grabbing him from the shirt and pulling the other into a kiss.

 The hero noticed his dad and rested his hand on the other boy’s hip as he greeted the man. It was a small flirtation between the boys. The Robotnik crossed his arms but leaned into his boyfriend(?), resting his head on the other’s shoulder. Tails looked between the two of them and nodded approvingly. 

Shadow noticed a blue, rolled up paper in the child’s hand. “What are the plans for?” he asked. He saw Tails falter slightly “Oh! It’s for my, um, plane.” he explained tentatively. “Could I see?” the boy asked. The child’s eyes lit up as he handed it to the boy. The darker speedster was not expecting such well-structured plans.

 They were surprisingly coherent for someone so young. He noticed a place that was paler than the rest, eroded by how many times an eraser passed over it. He touched his finger on it. “Having trouble getting what you envisioned on paper?” he inquired, not unkindly. Seeing the child’s sad little nod, he got down to his level. “Well, I happen to also dabble in machinery if you’d like to tell me what kinda engine you’re using.” he offered, handing the plans back. 

His hand was then taken as the youngest Wachowski led him into his workshop. Looking back to Sonic, he saw an encouraging thumbs up. He rolled his eyes fondly and put his attention on the child.

They were sitting on the floor of the laboratory, this one was much less sleek and refined than Dr. Robotnik’s but it was just as organized and impressive. The child was info dumping about his plans and Shadow was absorbing each word as he sketched the boy’s engine. 

Periodically, he would show the rough draft to the child and he would ask if he could make the blades wider or thinner, if the mechanism could be just a little smaller, ect. He took each thing and changed it accordingly. When it was finally finished the child squealed in delight. Beaming, he gave Shadow a hug and went off to show Sticks. 

Alone, the boy laid down and took in his surroundings, breathing deeply. Pine, cologne, sweat, mint, flowers, and mud were all the scents he could pick up. He desperately needed to gather his thoughts. In less than an hour, he turned from someone who had a weird romantic tension with his rival, to someone who was kinda sort of his boyfriend.

 He wasn’t supposed to indulge his feelings, he was supposed to be above them, but here he was. He was weak, he couldn’t resist. But he was happier for it. Maria’s dying wish was for the world to be better and had been neglecting that when he went out and sought revenge for her.

 He promised himself that he would follow her dream. That entailed a lot of going under Robotnik’s nose and saving people. Straight-up biting the hand that fed him would be unwise, but covertly emptying bank statements and running around behind his back. He would need help. He wouldn’t bring it up now, seeing as the attention is supposed to be on the birthday boy. 

Staring up at the ceiling he traced the constellations in his mind. Orion, Polaris, the big Dipper, he remembered how Maria never really had much interest in the stars. "If I can see them from here, why would I want to see them from earth?” she used to ask, looking out at the window. 

Focusing on the different shapes so as to not cry he realized she would’ve loved them. Despite being able to see them from the Earth, they were a new kind of magic. Closing his eyes and lying his head to the ground, he took in the room’s scent again. It was… homey somehow, despite Shadow only knowing these people for a few weeks. 

His phone vibrated. Rouge was calling him.

Picking up, he pushed it to his ear. “Can I help you?” he asked. He felt lighter after his revelation. “GIRL. IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS!” she immediately scolded. Shadow sat up, the crushing weight of reality washing over him like how unruly waves would erode the rocks under them.

 “What?” he mumbled, disoriented. Checking his time to see if she was pulling his leg he realized that no, she was right. “Where is he?” he heard Sonic ask. “Tail’s Lab.” he responded before the girl could relay the message.

 Immediately, the door to the laboratory burst open. “Call you back.” the boy told the bat as soon as he saw his kinda boyfriend. Taking the offered hand, he got up. Instead of letting go, their fingers laced together as if they were made to fit like that. They walked out together, gathering around to sing happy birthday to Tails. 

Chapter Text

Shadow was…happy. He finally felt like a human again. He had a snarky but supportive new sister, a father figure and a kinda boyfriend, they didn't really put a label on it yet. 

His birthday would be in one day in one day he was going to be 16! His commandeering of vehicles would be slightly less illegal now! 

He still hasn't told Sonic about the whole ‘aiding and abetting a war criminal’ thing yet. He tried to give hints that he was a good guy here and there. He’d notify Tails about a factory that they would raid or he’d fake out a punch or two with Amy. Knuckles got all his wrath because Shadow liked the challenge. 

Looking at his ceiling he felt electrified, lightheaded out of pure giddiness. He resisted the urge to kick his feet and giggle like a little girl. 

Dr. Robotnik burst into the room, his energy manic. The boy jumped in surprise. “PUT ON YOUR GEAR, WE'RE GOING TO RAID A G.U.N. BASE!” The doctor shouted, his already unsettling smile even more crazed than usual. 

The speedster sat and looking at the man, quickly went to put on his clothes. The gear was getting smaller as Shadow put on more muscle as per his training. He hadn't even realized he had been malnourished until he had finally gotten some good food.

Standing in front of the base, questions plagued the boy's mind. Ivo could barely handle a couple of overzealous kids, what would he do against a decorated military base? He stuck to the dark that shorting the lights provided. He showed more mercy than when he first broke out of a G.U.N. base, the men’s screams have started haunting his dreams because of his new moral compass. 

 He found a room that was somewhat tucked away. Inside there, Rouge and Stone were having coffee and laughing. In a G.U.N base. That was, until they noticed him. That's when he knew. They had been working for the company that had killed his family since the beginning. His breakdowns that they had coached him through, his being theirs, his being a child was all a façade. 

They looked… scared. Scared of him.

Taking off his helmet he looked them in the eyes. He was shaking with rage and fear. The people he had confided the most in were working for his worst enemies. “How long?” He demanded, his voice threatening to crack with pure emotion. 

Unshed tears made his eyes shine.

Their fear melted into concern and pity. Their silence spoke volumes.

Pain shot up his back. He was shot. Rouge let out a choked little cry. He doubled down, falling to the ground. A man stood over him. He was missing his sadistic smile from his youth, his face marred by scars and inhabited by wrinkles. But he was recognizable all the same. 

“You're grown, Abraham.” He smiled snidely despite his compromised state. The man thought this was odd as well and scrunched his nose. “It's General Towers now.” He looked the boy up and down. “You changed as well.” He mumbled begrudgingly. 

Shadow ripped the bullet out from in-between his spine. The flesh regenerated from there easily, a sickening squelching noise filling the room. He stood tall and set the bullet down in front of the General. 

“You out of all people know how hard it is to kill me.” He growled. Instead of a self satisfied smile like he was expecting, the man's face turned apologetic. “You are also the first person to hurt me permanently.” Shadow reminded him. The man cocked his gun again. Another round of bullets were loaded into the boy.

The sound of bones snapping into place and flesh healing at an unnatural pace were disgusting to remind Shadow that he was a monster, a danger, a hazard to these people and he would never be more. 

He looked back to his fake family. “The firstborn must be subdued before the 50th anniversary of its birth. You know that as well as I do.” The General scolded them. 

First born? Of what? Of whom? Pure, unadulterated fury roiled in his throat. “Only one pod came to earth, he could be a replica!” Rouge practically pleaded. “He needs to be put down.” The man snarled. “Kill me? Like you did her?” Tower’s face turned pained. “Y’know what? Do it. Kill me like how you killed her” He challenged. “Keep shooting and shooting and maybe just maybe. I’ll finally die.” He took a deep breath “But know that when I do, I will drag you down with me and watch you burn.” He stepped forward, causing many soldiers to step back, fear shining in their eyes.

“Finish what you started, coward.” he spat. He didn’t care about how the man’s eyes pooled with hurt. They were once brothers, but that all went out the window when Towers shot Maria. 

The boy pointed to his violently beating heart, he wasn’t ready to die, but the look of absolute defeat on the man’s face would make this all worth it. “I’m right here.” The General wouldn’t shoot, because he knew it would do nothing. No matter how many times Shadow was broken down, he would always be put back together. 

Abraham stepped back, dropping his gun. Typical.

“Leave, Shadow.” Stone pleaded from behind the man. The boy couldn’t help but relax at the soft sound of the agent’s voice. It was almost Pavlovian how the tension in his muscles dissipated.

Thunder clapped outside.

“Please” the man begged, looking into his eyes. The speedster realized that he could never refuse Stone, the man who in another life, was his father.

He turned and ran into the pouring rain.

He put hemet back on. Hot tears flowed freely down his face as he walked aimlessly, his sobs muffled by his helmet. He was now a vagabond, someone with no home. 

A little girl was splashing in puddles.

She was dangerously close to the road.

Her mother was smiling and laughing, clearly sharing in her child’s joy.

Something in his heart clenched.

Then a car came by, barreling toward the child. As if on instinct, Shadow ran up and got her out of the way. The car crashed into a nearby light pole. The girl was crying in his arms. 

Very stiffly and awkwardly he presented the sniffing child to her mother. The woman took her child with joy practically radiating off of her and cried when she held her. The boy only stood there nervously, hoping to ask the woman to not tell anyone about this.

His own tears had dried by now. 

“Thank you so much, I don’t know what I would’ve done without her!” The woman said as she held her daughter. She then noticed the state of the boy. “Oh, dear! You’re going to catch a cold like that!” The woman pointed out. “It’s okay, I’m bioengineered to not get sick.” he tried to reassure. 

He then felt a little body wrap around his legs. He looked down to see the girl hugging him. After a pregnant pause on the boy’s part, he reached down and ruffled her hair, eliciting a delighted little giggle from her. Unbeknownst to him, he had started crying again. 

He tried to stifle his sobs, but the woman had already caught him. Her eyes filled with concern. “Why don’t we get you something to eat, honey?” The boy took a cautious step backward. That was some kidnapper shit right there. “You can leave whenever you want, I just wanna make sure you’re safe.” She reassured softly. He looked down to see the girl giving her best little smile.

“We could have loads of fun, Mister!” she exclaimed. He couldn’t say no to that little face.

Chapter Text

The boy stood in the doorway awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with himself. Despite being around people much more often than he used to be, his skills still needed…refinement. The girl noticed him simply standing and gave him a funny look before she took her hand, leading him deeper into the shop. “You’re a lot like my brother, Espio.” she said with a fond scrunch of her nose.

“Espio? As in Mr. Crocodile's son?” Shadow immediately asked. He then took in the decorum of the quaint little shop he was in.

Pictures of Espio and who he assumed were Charmy and Cream lined the walls. The little girl looked eerily similar to the child in the photos. Finally, Shadow put two and two together. This was the girl from the photos. The boy's blood ran cold. Espio was friendly with Sonic and his family. Surely if Shadow sought asylum in his home, they would hear about it.

He would literally rather eat his shoes on the spot than ask for shelter at the Wachowski house. He was already associated with Robotink, he couldn’t be a burden as well. 

The woman, Ms. Vanilla, sensed the boy’s apprehension and rubbed a little circle into his back. She was so comforting, so kind. A bitter part of him wondered when she would turn on him too. His family’s abandonment was like a stone in his chest. “You can take off your helmet here, dear.” she reassured. Shadow clutched his hands, his fight or flight instincts being triggered. 

He knows he shouldn’t feel like this, the woman was nothing but sweet and yet he couldn’t ignore the urge to run away. 

“It’s okay, Shadow.” Espio’s monotone cut through the tense silence. The speedster hadn’t even noticed that his breathing had picked up until the enigma that was his lunch friend showed up. His face was carefully neutral as usual, but the smallest shine of concern shone through his dark eyes. Shadow felt his helmet being taken off, but he didn’t make any moves to stop it. He couldn't, he was frozen in place. 

As their eyes met, Shadow felt weirdly less panic. He felt seen. “I go through panic attacks too. It sucks really bad, doesn’t it?” Espio asked softly, his tone carrying the weight of the world. The speedster could only nod mutely, clutching at his pounding heart. It did suck. His life was threatened today by a foe he thought he would never have to see again. His family hated him and the one person who financially supported him tried to kill his crush on the daily.

 It was shitty and suckish and god damn it he was angry with himself. 

Espio noticed his lip quiver and wordlessly got him a trauma blanket (why did they even have that?) and a cup of hot cocoa. He motioned for the speedster to sit and out of nothing if not sheer gratitude, he obeyed. 

Looking down at the viscous drink, he took a shaky breath. “Thank you, for everything, Espio.” he finally said, swishing the cocoa around. Mercifully, the enigma simply gave him a curt nod back. Cream trotted up and sat next to her brother, putting her head on his lap and spreading out on the couch. 

Finally, he took a sip and by God, it was delicious. Trying to drink it at a normal pace so as to not seem even more like a freak he drank it intermittently, trying and failing to drag out the flavor. “Y’know you can always have seconds, Silly!” the girl pointed out, her voice soft and light. The boy felt a small smile tug at his lips. Her joy was downright infectious. 

Before he could even ask, another cup was being pushed into his hands, the old one being taken by Ms. Vanilla. “Oh! I could wash that, it’s really okay ma’am-” Shadow immediately offered, starting to get up. “So help me child if you get off that couch.” Okay, butt staying firmly in his seat, got it. “Sorry sweetie it’s just- you need rest, and very clearly, you’re not used to giving yourself time.” she sighed. 

What the fuck. He was not expecting to be absolutely clocked. By Ms. Vanilla no less. “Espio used to do the same thing.” Cream muttered sleepily “Silly boy didn’t know he was with family.” she poked at her big brother teasingly. His lunch friend huffed a little laugh. He sobered up as soon as the girl fell asleep.

“Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?” the boy asked, his eyes imploring him for the truth. Shadow looked down at his phone to see a lengthy text from Robotnik, outlining that he was in jail and was expecting to be broken out soon. His house was probably surrounded by G.U.N. “Not currently.” the speedster admitted meekly. As if someone had electrocuted her, Cream sprung up. “Sleepover!” she cheered. 

She was practically bouncing off the walls now, her energy a stark contrast from the sleepy girl she was just moments before. “We could watch a movie, play dress-up, play with cars-” she cut herself off with a gasp “We could even stay up ‘till 10 reading!” she squealed.

Shadow had the weirdest urge to ruffle her hair again.  

Espio rolled his eyes fondly. As he got up Cream used him like a jungle gym, swinging on his arms and shaking his torso. He either didn’t mind or didn’t notice. “I couldn’t ask you to take me in, my mere presence is already endangering you.” He stood up. 

There was a hand on his arm, Cream stared up at him with wide, watery eyes. “Please don’t leave.” she pleaded. Espio crossed his arms and stood next to his sister. “Our family is no stranger to danger, I assure you.” he said curtly. “This isn’t just your run-of-the-mill evil scientist. This is a government entity. I refuse to have your blood on my hands.” the speedster turned. Another child, Charmy, ran down the stairs, a gemstone of some sort in hand. It was green and vibrant. Rouge would love that the boy thought sadly. Mr. Crocodile was close behind. The gemstone was pushed into Shadow’s hands. 

It glowed and disappeared. Shadow felt weird. Mr. Crocodile facepalmed. “He’s a chaos user! He has to stay now.” Charmy said with a proud smile. Cream ran up next to him and they high-fived each other. “Is the world supposed to be spinning?” The boy mumbled, looking around. He stumbled on his feet.

He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his stomach. “Okay bud, why don't we get you to sit down.” Vector grunted, putting him down. 

Back on the plush couch, the boy inhaled deeply, trying to clear his mind. His inhibitor rings were hot against his skin. Instead of the usual golden rings of electricity thrumming through them when he overloaded like this it was green.

The shade looked a lot like Sonic’s emerald eyes.

The boy blushed furiously at the thought. I’m so downbad. He thought in despair. Despite this, he kept up his mask of stoicism. “Charmy, what did I say about giving chaos emeralds to people who don't know about them?” Ms. Vanilla chastised as the child deflated “Not to.” He pouted.

“Okay kid, I'm not sure what chaos will do for you so whatever happens, keep your mind clear.” Vector instructed, his tone a stark contrast to his usually smiling face. “You're going to say ‘chaos control’, okay?” Shadow nodded feverishly. His brain felt like it was going to melt out of his ears. 

“Chaos control” he mumbled. The air around him thrummed with life, as if suddenly awakened from a long slumber. 

He was in the middle of a field.

A field which looked exactly like the hologram he and Maria would spend hours in, reminding about how foolish the other was and talking about crushes. He wished Maria were here so that he could tell her about life. 

He laid down to stare at the sky.

“Hey Maria. It's been a while, hasn't it?” He breathed out. Holograms couldn't compare to the soft grass he felt under him. “Y’know how we would sit here and joke around? I miss that.” I miss you was left hanging in the air, unspoken because there was nothing to talk about. 

He closed his eyes. It had been a while since a lot of things happened. The peace of quiet, the loneliness of solitude, the energy thrumming under his skin, begging to be released. But nothing compared to having a family again. Now it wasn't just Maria he missed. It was Stone and Rouge and, despite it all, Dr. Robotnik. They were a family which made their betrayal hurt a hell of a lot more. 

He swallowed thickly. The stars stared down at him sympathetically. He couldn't take it anymore. The loss and pain was something to be expected, he was an immortal after all. But now that it was here it was all too much, suffocating him and threatening to be his doom. 

He screamed, uncaring of bothering wildlife.

Ripping at his arms, his nails dug into his skin. He could barely register it with his mind being engulfed by all that had happened.

Finally, after it felt like his throat was going to give out, he hoarsely whisp

ered “Chaos control” and promptly conked out on the Chaotix’s couch

Chapter Text

He woke up groggily. The world was blurry. There were people talking, quite aggressively at that. The boy sat up, rubbing his eyes. He had always been a light sleeper, both a blessing and a curse. 

“He's just a kid, Vector! Would you leave Espio?” Ms. Vanilla's voice rang out. “You heard G.U.N. kid or not he's a danger. You want Cream to grow up safe, right?” Vector retorted. “Don't you DARE use my daughter for your deranged viewpoint!” The woman scolded. 

Shadow’s heart raced. It didn't take a genius to know that they were talking about him. He got on his feet, a wave of nausea hitting him. He grabbed at his head. His throat threatened to close in on itself, his eyes started watering. His head snapped to a figure in the darkness.

 It was Espio.  

The mysterious boy took a tentative step forward, as if approaching a skittish animal. “It’s okay.” he took another step, “He’ll come to his senses, he’s just scared.” Shadow backed up, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not an idiot. You’ll turn on me like everyone else.” The other boy’s widened in something that could only be described as hurt. “Chaos control.” the speedster whispered. 

He was back in the meadow but with the sunlight it was different. He could see a house in the distance, no doubt the owners of the property. The grass was dead and unkempt under his shoes and the trees around him were gray with age. Nobody had been here in a long time. Speeding across the countryside the boy was in search of the nearest city. 

Because Shadow can apparently never have a moment of peace, there were jets and missiles hot on his trail. Sighing in annoyance, he simply sped up but they could keep up with him. As if being able to sense his shock one of the commanders turned on their comms. “This was originally for if Sonic went haywire but this will suit you just fine.” They sneered, their voice marred by ire. 

Sick and tired of being seen as a hazard, sick and tired of being powerless, sick and tired of not being able to lash out without being a danger, he stopped dead in his tracks. As the missile rapidly approached the boy caught it. Snarling almost animalistically, he aimed it at the fighter jets and let it fly. 

The other jets started gaining on him. He whispered ‘Chaos Control’. Falling from the sky, he landed on the back of one of the jets. Using the missiles, he took out each of the jets methodically. 

Landing on the ground, the pilots had their guns trained on the boy. “I wouldn’t recommend that.” he warned, hands in the air. “I assume you have been briefed upon my abilities.” he watched as the soldiers’ eyes flickered with recognition, annoyance and a little fear. “That will do you no good here.” he deadpanned. 

“Leave. I do not wish to have your blood on my hands.” an empty threat, but G.U.N. didn’t know that. He was the ultimate weapon. He was built to be bloodthirsty, he was made to be a danger. He was made to kill. 

The bullets flew through the air. 

Sighing in disappointment, the boy simply got out of the way. He watched as the steely determination to see him dead widened into scared confusion. Everything felt slow, as if he was moving on a different wavelength. It had always been that way, he had poured over his studies because of it, refining his skills because everything else felt so lifeless. Everything except for Her. 

She was always there and despite being trapped in her timeframe, she understood. She was color in black in white, a breath of fresh air in an oppressive climate. She was his sister. 

He can’t believe that he had deluded himself into believing that he would ever be happy without her. He can’t believe that he thought that life on earth would be anything other than full of betrayal and hurt. She had been the only one who had seen him.

Until.

Until Sonic. 

The boy’s heart clenched. 

Sonic. 

He was the only person who could keep up with him, and he knew the feeling was reciprocated. He couldn’t endanger the one person who had made him feel like a person genuinely. 

And that meant keeping him out of G.U.N.’s watchful eye.  

That meant pushing him away. 

The boy swallowed the lump out of his throat. 

He turned his attention back to the people shooting at him. They were, for lack of a better word, pathetic. This was truly the best G.U.N. could send after him? Insulting. He disarmed the soldier next to him, using their weapon to shoot out the other guns. There was no medical attention on site. These people were probably told that this was a suicide mission. 

They would keep fighting until reinforcements came. “This isn’t worth it! Leave!” the command ripped itself out of his throat. He wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or to the pilots. 

One of the soldiers took off their helmet. It was a girl, no older than Rouge, with a pale blonde pixie cut and startlingly baby blue eyes. She huffed. “You’re just a kid. Fuck this. I could be saving civilians right now.” she started off. One by one people followed her. 

Once they were out of sight, Shadow felt himself crumple in relief. He sat down. He’s not sure why he didn’t run. His legs felt weak. He looked down at the gun he was holding. 

Getting up, he started to scavenge the wreckage for things he could use. He built a silencer for his gun, he picked up the discarded helm of the blonde soldier and propped it on his head. It was ill-fitted but worked well enough. 

He started his journey back up. 

When he had finally gotten to Central City, he hid away in an alley. 

There were hundreds of faces, hundreds of people to be mistaken for. Hopefully, he could hide among them despite being a freak. He turned on his phone, looking at the time. 

12:00 AM.

It was his birthday.   

Chapter Text

It was as if all hell broke loose. Literally. 

Shadow didn’t know how to put words to it. There was the literal Antichrist descending from the sky. He looked different than what Shadow would’ve imagined him like, less humanoid and more alien, his skin charcoal black, two mass horns protruding from each side of his head, and his horns forming a crown. He also had no lower half. Tattered, wine red robes billowed underneath him. 

He remembers sitting in Sunday School with Maria, half-asleep as the teacher droned on about how sin is bad or whatever, Shadow never really paid attention. But seeing it? It felt almost familiar in a way, something about it just… screamed at him that he should know who this is. Not as just a name but as a force, something that would encompass him, swallow him whole if given the chance. 

Shadow didn’t even feel his feet move, he hadn’t even realized that he was almost right in front of it holy shit! 

Coming to his senses, he ducked out of the sight of the creature. 

Then because apparently he was the universe’s favorite joke, Sonic showed up. 

The blue blur looked almost out of sorts, his hair more disheveled than usual, his bright smile replaced by a scowl and his eyes narrowed in a way that just screamed disgruntlement, which was not a good look for Earth. The Devil didn’t think so either. “So this is the puny one you sent my way? Insulting! I would’ve thought better of you.” His voice was low and raspy and he… did not have a mouth! HOW DID HE SPEAK? Also, same??

Shadow could not believe he thought The Devil was relatable but life throws a new curveball at him every single chance it gets. 

“This is what you give the World Conqueror and Spirit Breaker, Black Doom?” He bellowed. 

Shadow blinked. Once. Twice. 

Of fucking course my dad is Space Satan. Shadow knew very little about his heritage, only that his father was an alien that had donated his DNA to create him. He had to stop himself from audibly sighing. Sonic smirked “A little on the nose, don’t you think?” he taunted. Black Doom snarled. “I am not here for you, child.” The boy was pretty sure that if the alien had a nose it would be upturned. “I have come for my son.” He looked around. “He should be here by now.” he looked back at Sonic. “Unless…” he examined the boy. “No, that’s not right, he was, like, 12 shades darker.” 

He shrugged, which was a weird thing to see something so inhuman do. “No matter, I’ll simply dangle you as cannon fodder.” Sonic’s eyes narrowed back down. “If you can catch me!” he winked and started to run. 

He froze in place. Not figuratively, literally. He was mid-run, floating in the air. He was even wearing his stupid smirk.

A tentacle raised to his throat and slowly closed around it. 

He was being strangled. 

Shadow moved on instinct, closing in on Black Doom. Separating Sonic from the alien, he put himself between the two. “I am the one you want.” he took off the helmet. Immediately, recognition shined in the man’s eyes. Sonic fell to the ground. “Shadow?” the brighter speedster breathed. 

Coarse laughter filled the air. “Is that what they have been calling you, little one?” a tentacle held the boy’s chin up to meet the man’s eyes. “It was a gift.” The darker speedster forced out haughtily. Sonic got up. “Leave him alone!” he growled. Shadow looked back at the other boy. Blue crackles of energy danced around his body, his face was full of rage. 

“Sonic.” 

All of the fight left the boy.

Shadow walked over to him. Grabbing the brighter speedster’s face he sighed. “I beg of you to leave.” Sonic’s eyes went wide with surprise and hurt, his lip quivered. “Why?” he asked. “Please. I-I can not lose you too. I’ll take care of this, I promise.” he took the other boy’s hand. He knew he sounded desperate, he was. 

Agony, pure unfiltered pain racked his body. He felt his suit rip off, exposing his skin. He fell to his knees. He took ragged breaths. It felt like his skull was breaking in half. He saw…wings? WHAT THE FUCK?? 

“Am I a middle schooler's oc?” he whispered before bile rose from his throat, forcing its way to the ground. He almost cut himself on newfound fangs. “What did you do to him?” Sonic snapped, the same blue crackles danced around his body. Black Doom simply looked uninterested. “Awakening his Black Arms genes, he was supposed to have been ripe by now but no matter.” Shadow groaned, there were levels to how messed up that was. 

“There’s a reason puberty is gradual, asshole.” he scolded, holding his, now bare, stomach. God, he felt shitty. The stupid smile was back on Sonic’s face. “What’s funny?” Shadow asked brusquely. “Even crumpled on the ground, staring like you want to throttle me, you still manage to look gorgeous” the boy sighed. And just like that, his stomach bloomed in warmth. “Now is not the time nor place” Shadow said, taking the other boy’s hand, helping himself up. Thankfully, the lower part of his gear was still intact.

His wings wrapped around his upper half, concealing him. They didn’t have feathers but were more like an amalgamation of black vines, twisting and curling around each other. At the ends there were spikes that faded into bright red which, conveniently, matched Shadow’s highlights. Was that intentional? Everything was so much clearer, it was like he could see more. Feeling his face, his fingers hovered over eyelids that most certainly weren’t there before. 

He then noticed Sonic ogling him. His face burst into flames as he snapped and motioned to his eyes. The bastard didn't even have the common decency to be flustered! He simply moved his gaze up at a pace that was downright snail like especially for the fastest thing on the planet. 

Shadow focused his attention back onto Black Doom. The alien’s eyes shone with mirth. “You’re exactly like how I wanted Gerald to create you.” Shadow was then brought right in front of the man. His eyes bore into the boy’s, as if searching his soul. It wasn’t exciting, like it had felt with Sonic but instead it felt downright violating. “What are you going to do with me?” the speedster whimpered, his pulse picking up at the feeling of not being able to move. 

“We’re going to take over the earth. And you, Little One, are going to help us.” Black Doom smiled, staring down at him. Shadow felt his chest rumble. He was laughing. Not because this was funny in any way but because of course Black Doom wanted him as a weapon. His life was a joke. Something that will repeat over and over again. His stomach started to hurt, his eyes watered. He sobered as he felt a sob build in his throat.

“You literally stopped time. You don’t need me.” he snarked. His chin jutted up. He hoped the alien didn’t pick up on how his lips quivered, how his voice trembled despite his best efforts to keep it steady. He was genuinely scared shitless. He could feel the man’s displeasure. 

“You’re supposed to be frozen in time right now, but you’re not. You can also use the chaos emeralds to their full extent, which is what I need to shatter planets more efficiently.” a clawed hand caressed Shadow’s face. “You need to join me. It’s what you were made for, your ultimate purpose.” the hand grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around, forcing him to face the newly arrived calvary. On the front lines there stood Sonic’s friends and… his old family. 

“You aren’t like them, Shadow.” the man whispered in his ears. “They aren’t freaks of nature, they are clean. We are both broken and sullied.” he growled. Rouge stepped forward, her eyes staring into the boy’s. Her gaze was unbearable, he looked to the ground. 

“They have already abandoned you, what will stop the others?” Shadow’s eyes immediately drifted to Sonic. “He would never!” the darker snapped, turning his head to look at Black Doom. He had looked at the darker speedster with such admiration, such care, such love and was so genuine and good. He would never betray him. 

“Wouldn’t he?” the alien asked, stepping closer. “All of the people who loved you are gone, and it’s your fault. You are the one who got captured by G.U.N. all those years ago, you are the one who decided to trust their agents and you are the one who will be the demise of anyone… current.” the man’s eyes flickered to the brighter speedster. “You won’t be fast enough to save him, not without your enhancements.” There was a dark amusement in the man’s voice “You’re nothing but an extension of my power. Everything you have is me.” Shadow’s breath hitched he wouldn’t dare reveal- “Son, join me and my army on our hunt for the Chaos emeralds, or face the consequences.”

A collective gasp rang out in the crowd. 

Black Doom held out his hand. Shadow looked down at it. His chest constricted, his breathing became labored. At the corner of his vision he could see a conglomerate of G.U.N. soldiers holding back the super powered heroes. He barely registered Amy shouting his name, begging him not to take the hand. Doom took another step forward. He brought his hand up to the boy’s face. “You’re thinking too much about this.” Gently, oh so gently, he cupped the boy’s cheek. The darker speedster despised how he leaned into the warmth, despised how his eyes slipped shut in contentment. 

“You were made for this, this is your purpose, you just need to let it happen. Remember how they scorned you and set you aside, Son. The people of this planet will either kill or get killed. You will have nothing left when their times are up. Nothing but me.” the hand left his face, leaving him cold again. That’s not right, why am I cold ? I was made to keep homeostasis at all times. Nevertheless he frowned. He thought back to Maria, how she had died for the sake of bloodshed. He thought about how both Stone and Rouge worked for the organization that killed her. He thought about Robotnik and how despite being against the government agency, only used his genius for bloodshed. There was a pattern there. Everyone in his life killed or got killed and the only common factor was… him. It was all his fault, wasn’t it? He looked back up into the man’s eyes, they shone with mirth. 

He knew he had won. 

He grabbed the boy’s hand. 

This is wrong he knew it was wrong he shouldn’t have taken the man’s hand! But he was so comforting, so stable, so there. He wouldn’t leave Shadow, he wouldn’t, he needed him. (Whether Shadow was talking about how he needed Black Doom or Black Doom needed him, he wasn’t sure) “There is no more need for your pain, Son.” the man purred, bringing the boy into an embrace. He felt a sob build in his throat. He hadn’t realized the weight on his shoulders until it was taken away.

The world was quiet as if finally lost him, as if it could never catch back up. Then, it started back up, almost jarringly quickly. His head spun as reality came back to him. He finally had a family again, he wouldn't be abandoned again he couldn't, he was too useful, he would never be left alone again. 

“Shadow?” Tail’s voice meekly called out. 

Reality started to weigh on him again, he felt like he was hundreds of years older, that his body would crack under the pressure and his organs would be strewn across the floor. What was he doing? He had to leave. He looked back out into the crowd and found Sonic’s face. 

He looked horrified. Like… like his worst fear had come true. Gone were his awe-filled eyes of love, replaced by fear. It was all too much, seeing that face look at him with such terror. He was unclean, he was broken, he didn’t deserve the forgiving and all-encompassing love that Sonic offered. Black Doom cradled him all the more closely, as if reminding the boy that he was there too. He would no longer be alone in his brokenness, united in darkness. 

Monsters fell from the sky, and started barreling towards the G.U.N. agents. Detangling himself from his father’s arms he flew over the mobians accompanying them. With his arms crossed, he looked down at the creatures, nose upturned. “No harm is to come to anyone.” he commanded, his wings spreading, bathing the world in darkness. The creatures scurried back to Black Doom, creating a protective field around him. He landed back next to his father. “Let’s look for those chaos emeralds, shall we?” hummed the alien, putting his hand forth in offering. 

Shadow reluctantly gladly took it.

Chapter Text

They already had one down. Now there were six more to go. 

Chaos emeralds are extraordinary things. All of them combined can make you god-like, even so, it is a power you must learn to hone and yet… someone as untrained as Sonic could use them to their full potential. Shadow hadn’t seen him in action, no, but he had heard about how the speedster had blessed the world with his glory, gracing the earth with sunshine and pure unadulterated might. It was almost dizzying to think about how someone so bright could ever stay on the ground, tied down by love. 

After Shadow had joined forces with Doom, they had gone to his ship. It was massive and, apparently, made from organic matter. He had monologued about his conquests, how he crushed rebellion under his non-existent heel. He talked about the delight he felt, watching the hope leave people’s eyes as their comades fell. The whole time, the boy could only think back to his friends and how hurt they had looked.

They had every right to be, he knew that, but he wouldn’t have to worry about them in 200 years, he was immortal. He would live lifetime after lifetime and this will all be but a stain on his record, a lapse in judgement, a foolish want of youth. He needed to think about his own heart first, he couldn’t afford to lose another person, he had to push them away before he was forsaken. 

He stood in front of the arena that housed the first emerald on their list. The blue one- wait what?! Shadow groaned as put his head in his hands, of course it was blue, another reminder that he abandoned his friends. No, it was for their own good, he can’t afford to be close to them they’ll be made targets they’ll die- He took a deep breath. He looked around to make sure no one was around. “Get yourself together” he murmured to himself, fixing his hair.  

He walked into the arena, his stature commanding fear and respect. His footfalls were deliberate, but not slow, no, never slow, as he strode. He stood tall, masquerading as a man without shame, a commanding officer, shielding the terrified boy inside. His posture was antisocial and deterred any interaction. 

The fighting ring itself was dimly lit, not a problem for the young warrior but curious nonetheless. That was, until first blood was drawn by one of the contestants. The red was stark, popping up against the dark. 

The winner put his fist up.  

It was Knuckles.

Shadow suppressed the urge to shudder. Knuckles had to be the most formidable warrior he had ever met. He never pulled his punches. Shadow's inhibitor rings weighed on his wrists, begging to be let off. 

“THE LAST BATTLE OF THE NIGHT BEGINS NOW! ALL WHO WISH TO PARTICIPATE, COME FOR YOUR SHOTS” the announcer bellowed over the microphone. 

Shadow despised shots, it brought up bad memories of being experimented on, drugs being pumped into his bloodstream like insulin but he saw it through for he would never get a second chance to appease Black Doom. Walking into the arena, he was immediately locked onto by Knuckles to his dismay. His old gear was long forgotten, now in its place were lightweight garments, traditionally worn by Black Arms monks, cinched at the waist, feet and arms for mobility. He was also barefoot because the black arms did not have feet and so had no shoes to lend him. His inhibitor rings still shone, even without the sun to hit them. Knuckles made a very violent gesture at him which included a lot of different wrangling and shaking movements. 

“WE COMMENCE NOW!” the announcer boomed. 

Instead of racing toward him in anger immediately, like he expected, Knuckles had put his attention on other opponents. Saving the sweetest revenge for last was very un-Knuckles-like but Shadow had so few blessings he decided not to look that gift horse in the mouth. 

A man swung at him so, dropping to the ground, he scratched at his ankles, and drew blood. It was messy but efficient enough. The boy used this tactic often, weaving gracefully in between opponents, snagging knives and daggers and using their heavy footing to his advantage. Many of these people were regular, searching for a taste of concentrated chaos, and because of that, they were woefully untrained. Shadow was starting to even get bored. 

That was until he and Knuckles were the last ones standing in the ring. 

“May the best warrior win.” the older said. Shadow’s eyes narrowed, “I intend to.” he growled, kicking up dirt and closing in on his enemy. He almost succeeded in driving a dagger into his arm but the echidna warrior landed a punch to his jaw. The sheer force of contact would have shattered any normal person’s jaw. But Shadow was built for this, his life was for this, his whole entire purpose was this. Flying back, he landed on the ground.

No blood had been drawn. 

He took an inhibitor ring off. 

The chaos energy flowed into his body, setting all of his nerves on fire. Golden lightning danced across his body, not crackling in delight but screaming to be let out. Unlike his counterpart's power, Shadow was a host, a conduit for it. He did not own it. It owned him. 

He was in pure anguish but it didn’t matter, he had to prove himself, he had to make sure Black Doom knew he was useful he couldn’t be abandoned again, never again. 

Ragged breaths tore through his chest.

Like a rocket he shot forward, tearing through the air. The older boy’s eyes widened in shock as Shadow had made contact. Knuckles managed to take the brunt of the damage head on, and held a hand to the younger boy’s jaw. Without thinking in his single track mind, the boy took his teeth and bit like the rabid animal he was. 

The taste of blood in the boy’s mouth was incredibly unpleasant, and not to mention unsanitary, and he hated it. He spit the red substance onto the floor to signify his victory. Staggering, he made it to his inhibitor ring and snapped it back into place. Even at his full height, Knuckles still managed to be a head taller than him. He looked down at the boy with fear and a little respect. 

His blood dried on the boy’s mouth. 

“WE HAVE A WINNER!” the announcer shouted. The stadium erupted into boos, throwing things at the stage and screaming insults. The chaos emerald was lowered into the ring. 

It was brilliant, the blue bathed the entire room. Reverently, he took it from its pedestal. His body was overloaded by the sheer power of the gem. The lightning crackled through his body again. The screams of disgust quickly turned to terror as he absorbed the emerald’s power. 

He felt lightheaded, dizzy with the sheer amount of energy that flowed through his body. He fell to the ground. His heart raced in his chest, trying to keep up. He looked back up to the echidna warrior, to see his face marred by pity. His head dropped down. Rage roiled in his stomach. He didn’t need pity, pity was for the weak, and he was the strongest being to ever grace the earth. It was why Black Doom tolerated him. 

With ragged breaths, he rose. Sweat trailed down his back, burned on his skin. He wasn’t supposed to be weak, especially not in front of all these people. He made eye contact with the warrior once more. “Chaos Control.” he whispered. The world finally stopped spinning. He finally got time out of the monotony that was life. He skated back to Black Doom, admiring the scenery of the soon-to-be-destroyed planet. 

He was going to miss this

Chapter Text

2 down, 4 more to go. 

Shadow felt groggier than usual. Nothing he couldn’t power through. He was the ultimate life form after all, meant to withstand anything, feeling under the weather wouldn’t do anything to his performance, he couldn’t afford to be subpar. 

Nature was not fond of Shadow. Be it because he himself isn’t enthusiastic about ‘roughing it up’ in the wilderness or because he was an affront to Gaia herself, it wasn’t very clear. It showed how the environment turns hostile when he steps foot on it, as if it didn’t want him there. 

So you can imagine that he wasn’t exactly thrilled to speed through a dense jungle.

Why wouldn’t he just use his chaos control, you may ask. It was the most logical solution, with all his problems being solvable by using this immense power. To answer your question, dear reader, it was because his body hated him and was being a little baby about needing things. You see, after his, admittedly foolish, stunt, chaos controlling all the way to Black Doom’s doorstep, he went into what a medical professional would call a mini-coma. He was dead to the world for all of 3 days. This idiotic blunder allowed G.U.N. to take one of the emeralds. 

He snarled to himself as he thought about it. Out of all the stupidly impulsive things he’s ever done, that one definitely took the cake. He skidded to a stop as he saw the golden yellow glow of the next chaos emerald shine through the foliage. Trying to be stealthy was a bust with his newfound assets. He mourned the loss of his human appearance. 

Folding his wings behind himself, he reached out to the emerald, only to be intercepted by Espio. The entire weight of his body crashed down upon the speedster, knocking the wind out of him. The winged boy mentally cursed himself for not being hyper-vigilant, so caught up in his past mistakes he forgot to watch out for future ones. Grabbing at the ground, he threw mud up to the other boy, effectively blinding him. The mysterious boy leaped back, taking the chaos emerald. It disappeared in his hands.

Lightning danced across Espio’s skin, identical to Shadow’s natural chaos shade. “I don’t want to hurt you, Shadow,” he squared up “but I can’t let you kill all these innocent people.” Shadow mirrored the boy’s pose. “You can’t hurt me. Not even with your fancy little power up.” he snapped. He sounded manic even to his own ears. 

When Espio ran forward, his speed was startling even to the boy who could go 90 mph on a whim. At the last second, Shadow parried his blow. The sheer force of the impact still made the nearby trees blow back. Shadow aimed a kick to the other’s unprotected core. The ninja laid flush against the ground to avoid it and used his leverage to sweep his legs. The speedster fell to the ground and covered his face as an onslaught was beared down upon him. He used his wings to prop himself back up. Finally on his feet again, he gave Espio a mean right hook, knocking the chaos emerald out of the boy. The emerald disappeared in his hand after he had reached out. 

The pure agony buzzed in his skull, threatening to break it apart. 

The boy’s eyes widened as he looked up at the heir to Doom’s throne. Fear. It was the one emotion that would follow Shadow for his whole life, ever since his name had been only a lack of light, not the man-made atrocity that graced the Ark’s halls. More and more would course through his veins, it was what he ran on, it was what gave him life. He would never exist without someone cowering at the mere sight of him, for he was a grotesque Franstien’s monster. A blood-soaked, dangerous, affront to Gaia herself.

As he looked down at the cowering boy, who was no doubt seeing his life flash in front of his eyes. The same boy who had comforted him when his life went to shit now feared him. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

He took a step back. 

Espio’s eyes widened in surprise. “For old times sake, I’ll let you live. Don’t get in my way again, chameleon.” he snarled as turned around. He froze as he saw the Mothership in the sky. Black Doom said he’d only come down to earth when it was time to take it over, as a test of Shadow’s loyalty. He thought he had more time. 

Immediately, when he caught sight of Doom, he genuflected, after all the alien was the leader of the Black Arms and he needed to pay respects, no matter how high he himself was on that social ladder. “Arise, son.” the man warbled, his baritone ringing through the jungle, cutting through the chirping flickies. As if on a string, Shadow pulled himself up.

“Your Majesty-” he started, cutting himself off when he saw the warning glint in Black Doom’s eyes. “Apologies, Father.” he watched as the man’s facial expression eased. “I wasn’t informed of your arrival, I would’ve paved the way for your glory.” he said with a slight incline of his head, his tone flat, calm, collected even. “That time has not yet come, child.” his voice was amused. He brought his hand forth and ruffled the boy’s head. Shadow’s hands were held carefully at his back itching to fix his hair, the displacement irking him to no end, his horns were already hell to deal with in caring for it. 

“You care an awful lot about these creatures.” if the alien had a mouth, Shadow was sure he’d be smiling. The boy bristled, weakness was not something that was tolerated with Doom. The hand suddenly turned malevolent, gripping at his hair, forcing his head up from its reverent position, forcing the boy to make eye contact with his father. “Dilated pupils, elevated heart rate, sweating profusely.” the hand tightened its grip. “These creatures mean something to you, and that simply can not do, Son.” the speedster fought back a wince of pain, clenching his teeth, setting his jaw, anything to not show weakness. “Do you understand?” Black Doom’s eyes turned serious.

“Yes sir.” the hand was threatening to rip out his hair follicles. “Sorry, yes Father.” Shadow forced out through gritted teeth. Finally the hand had left his head. 

“That’s what I thought. Now, get on the Mothership.” Black Doom snarled, turning around. Shadow followed with his head down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Espio. Their eyes met. Shadow thought back to that stormy night, how gentle Espio had been with him. 

He broke eye contact, training his eyes back to the ground. If Black Doom found out about him, he would be nothing more than a smear on the floor. Shadow knew Espio deserved a more dignified fate and so, he stayed silent. 

Chapter Text

He was one half of the way through. 

Sweat trailed down his back, dancing on his skin. He ripped the sleeves off himself as he staggered toward his next destination, his usually graceful motions marred by his tiredness. 

Thankfully, because of his lack of worldly possessions, he was traveling lightweight. 

His next destination was a power plant, the design ingenious, using the Chaos emerald as a power source. Shadow grimaced just thinking about it, what with his inhibitor rings burning into his wrists, it would be a matter of time before the alloy would reach its melting point. He needed to make sure to get all the emeralds before that happened. 

He crouched near the entrance of the facility, peeking inside slightly. A confrontation here would not be wise; not only was he feeling subpar and therefore would perform subpar, but also the place was lined with wired and circuit boards, things essential for the city to continue running. So many important services rely on electricity nowadays. 

He then saw Amy Rose running down the hallway of the establishment, chaos emerald in tow. The lights hadn’t gone out in the district, leading Shadow to believe that it was acquired diplomatically. Classic Amy, he thought with a shake of his head. Charming enough to take over the world. Behind her was Tails, who had grown taller since the speedster had last seen him, coming up to Amy’s chest. Granted, she was small for her age, but it made his heart ache anyway. 

Following their path, he intercepted them. “I’m happy to take that off your hands, Rose.” he smirked, landing in front of them. Tail’s eyes widened as he gripped the back of Amy’s dress. “It’s quite nice, I think I’ll be keeping it.” she snarked right back. “Well that won’t do now, will it?” he crossed his arms. The corner of Amy’s lips quirked up. Despite being on opposite sides they still found time to clown on the British. Shadow sobered as he noticed a soldier in the distance. “But seriously, I will need that.” he put his arms up in mock surrender. “I don’t want to fight you for it.” he took a step back, putting the all in Amy’s court. She looked down at the emerald and then back at Shadow.

“You can't!” It wasn’t Amy that had spoken up, but Tails. “Your inhibitor rings are already melting, aren't they?” He accused, coming out from behind Rose. Shadow rubbed his rings reflexively, as if they still wore their spikes.

As if they still protected him. 

“That doesn't concern you, worst comes to worst I can always teleport away.” He growled defensively. He wasn't weak, he would overcome this, just like everything else. This was just another hurdle. That's what he would keep telling himself, it was bound to be true in some sense. Tails looked at him, unimpressed. “And what happens when you go out?” He took a challenging step forward. “What happens when you leave us behind?” His voice broke with emotion. 

Shadow could almost melt. He didn't want to break the boy's heart, didn't want to leave if it meant that the boy would be happy. But he had to. He would watch Tails get old and gray and wouldn't be able to follow him to the grave. Just like with Her. Just like how it would be with everyone else in his life. 

But wouldn’t the time spent with them be worth all the pain?

He looked back at them. Their eyes shone with what could only be described as hope. A bullet flew through the air, going straight through his third eye. He felt his blood, warm and thick, ooze down his face. He had fallen to the ground. The pain hadn’t even registered before the G.U.N. agent called out. 

“Miss. Rose, Mr. Wachowski! Are you alright?” The soldier ran up to them. At least he assumed the man ran up to them, his vision was obscured by his hands. Pushing his palms deeper into his face, he braced himself for the world of pain he was about to be in. “God damn it, Johnson! We had him, he was going to be convinced!” Amy snarled. The agent startled. “Shadow!” she called out. “One moment please.” he whispered, overwhelmed by what had just happened. He had almost betrayed Doom. 

Taking his hand out from where they were pressed on his eyes, he dug his nails into his wound. Was it gross and sticky and could he feel his brain a little? All yes! Did he still manage to get the bullet anyway? Also yes! He looked down at the piece of ammunition in his hand. His skull formed back into place. He heard the G.U.N. agent gag a little. His pain tolerance had risen since he started collecting chaos emeralds. 

He got on his feet wobbly, clutching at his head. 

“Shadow, you could join us!” Amy tried with a smile. “It’s not too late, you would be such an asset against Black Doom!” She stepped forward, offering her hand. The boy’s stomach dropped. “You don’t understand, do you?” he breathed, his eyes wide with panicked realization. “I am an extension of him. I was made for him.” he whimpered, the desperation in his voice reminiscent of a prisoner. “I can’t leave, our destinies are too intertwined.” he backed away, his voice getting firmer. “You are more than him!” she argued, closing the space. “You deserve to live! Not because of him but because you’re you!” she exclaimed. Tails came up behind her and motioned for her to go back a bit. “Amy, look at me.” he gestured to his inhuman features. “Do you really think I could ever leave? My whole purpose, my one reason for being is this.” His voice broke with emotion. “Once I was so blind to this truth, unable to see my fate and because of that I got comfortable, I made friends. And then…” he tried for a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It was all taken away.” 

“So. I ask you again, are you going to give me the chaos emerald, or do I have to take it?” he growled, finally giving an ultimatum. She tightened her grip on her hammer. “I’m sorry, Shadow.” she whispered. “I can't sacrifice the good of the world for you.” she brought her hammer up, and only right before it came down had he realized that he was the rotten one now. No matter, he had always been broken.

He supposed it only took that last crack to be truly monstrous.

Distantly he wondered what had happened to Black Doom to destroy him so.

At the last second, he moved out of the way. “Have it your way, Rose. Just know that mercy is a luxury I cannot afford.” His voice was dark, like a man who was willing to destroy anything that had gotten in his way but his face, no matter how different, still spoke as a testament to the same boy who would cry when he accidentally stepped on a bug. His eyes were narrowed in determination, but his pupils shone with fear. His mouth quivered. His eye brows hitched. He was terrified. Terrified of hurting her, terrified of his power and terrified of dying. But hiding away from all of his fears is what had gotten him in this mess in the first place. 

He took a shaky breath. 

“It is I who must apologise to you, Rose.” Her head snapped to him in utter confusion. He lunged forward, grabbing for the chaos emerald. As soon as his fingers brushed against its smooth surface, it disappeared. Amy’s eyes widened in despaired realization. “I am sorry you have to return em-” he started. He was cut off by the feeling of electricity, hot up his back. It danced and fought to his detriment, using his agonized body as a playground. 

He fell to his knees, his heart thumping violently in his chest, threatening to come through his ribs. He clutched at the grass and it cried out from being flayed. He was hunched over himself. His inhibitor rings burned against his wrist. Amy stepped forward, a hand pressed against her mouth in horror. 

“Don't come any closer.” His breaths came out raggedly. “Shadow! You have to let the emeralds go! You're not going to survive, no living being was ever designed to carry this much energy for extended periods of time.” Tails called out in desperation. 

“Even so, at least I am finally serving my true purpose.” He gritted out through clenched teeth. Rising, his posture was loose. “Chaos control.” 

Chapter Text

Maria was staring at her reflection in the mirror, pulling on her face, stretching her delicate skin to better inspect the red blemishes that invaded her vision. 

“Shadow?” She called, fixated on her face. The speedster, ever the dutiful brother ran up to her. “Yes?” He asked, staring up at her with wide eyes full of mirth. 

“Am I ugly?” she gently whispered, her eyes full of vulnerability. 

Maria had never voiced feeling ugly before other kids were brought on the ship. 

“Your nose looks pregnant with that pimple.” He deadpanned. That finally got her to look up “Not funny.” she sniffled. “It was pretty funny.” he mumbled, elbowing her ribs gently. “But to be completely honest, you could look uglier than Abraham, still dunno why you like him by the way, and still be the most beautiful being ever.” he said matter-of-factly. “How does that even work?” she questioned, teary eyes replaced by confused ones. 

“Well, you’re you and to me that means annoying, naggy and a smartass.” He put a finger up “but it also means that you’re caring, intelligent, creative, inventive and good.” he pointed at her. “You are good. A good person, a good friend and a good sister. And that’s what makes you beautiful. Not what some gross, sticky teenagers think.” he reassured, pressing their sides together. He was rewarded with pearls of laughter and Maria ruffling his hair. “What would I do without you?” She smiled. “Get sad about stupid superficial things like acne.” He leaned into her more. 

4/7ths of the way down. 

His inhibitors burned against his wrists, screaming in agony, begging for a break. 

The expansive void of space simply swallowed their cries as he floated through the air. The stars always looked pretty but it was almost like their beauty was extrapolated in this dark soup. 

There, glinting in the sun’s rays, was his prized. The Space Ark Colony He thought as he laid his eyes upon it. Home . His heart ached. He propelled himself forward with his chaos energy, gently cradling himself through space. He was almost startled when he felt the hard metal of the Space Colony rub up against his back. Slapping himself awake, he positioned himself to enter.

He floated languidly through the Colony, the atmosphere oddly freeing, a far contrast to the oppressive gravity that dragged him to the ground on earth. He sighed in relief. It was understandable, now, how Maria’s condition was put into remission by the inky darkness of space. It was as though his body had finally stopped being compressed. He smacked himself back to the mortal plane. Now is NOT the time to reminisce. He thought frustratedly. 

He made his way down the halls with renewed urgency. If  he kept on dilly dallying someone would take the next emerald and he could not afford failure. Failure meant punishment.

Finally he reached his destination.

Only to then make eye contact with Agent Stone. 

Shadow’s heart stopped in his throat. The only thing he could feel when he looked Stone in the eyes was hurt . Not the kind of hurt that he was used to, the pain rattling in his skull and thrumming through his veins, no, that pain was manageable. The pain he felt was all encompassing and pathetic , like a kicked puppy looking up at its owner. Why didn’t you love me? He wanted to ask. Why was I not good enough to leave G.U.N. for? Questions swirled around, begging for answers.

That was, until he saw Robotnik float into the room victoriously, chaos emerald in hand. The man hadn’t even processed that the boy was there before he snatched it from his, now empty, palm. Shadow pressed the gem to his chest protectively he absorbed it. A silent NO rang through space as Stone cried out, only being heard by his partner. 

It was as though the air around Shadow thickened. His nervous system was so fried he couldn’t even feel pain. 

He was numb. 

It almost felt nice , Like he had taken the apathy of space and bottled it up inside himself.  

But then it started up. 

It was like it was trying to kill him, his head was threatening to split in two ‘agony’ was the work he had been using to express this ailment but even that couldn’t encompass it anymore. He doesn’t know how he managed to stay awake as the pain practically waterboarded him, coming in surges across his body. 

Finally it stopped. 

But the damage had been done. His mind was scrambled, he could think straight. Lightning still danced across his body as though it was laughing, mocking his pain. His breathing was labored but he had done it. 

He looked back to Stone, the man’s face horrified. 

He had been working on his air shoes for a while now, making progress after all his, sadly failed, prototypes. He beamed in excitement as they hummed to life. There wasn’t enough power for the thrusters to work but that issue would be resolved when he put them on.

He hummed and rubbed his knuckles in excitement as he studied his latest prototype, lifting his goggles to get a better look. While there was certainly room for improvement, he had truly cherished them. Stopping in his little habit, he finally picked up his shoes inspecting the bottoms. The thrusters had not yet been complete but he had a good feeling about them. Gerald had always told him to look with optimism in his projects or else they wouldn’t turn out well. Maria and him used to dog on the man, making fun of him for acting like a motivational speaker, but there was always wisdom in the man’s words. 

Stone was standing at the doorway. Shadow knew it was rude not to bid him hello but his one-track mind zeroed in on a misplaced bolt, and there he was, tinkering again. Stone huffed in a cross between humor and disbelieving. “You two really are related.” he smiled. The boy bristled slightly at the comparison. His nephew was a mad man, a genius but with his own…stipulations. 

Stone easily read him. His smile only grew. “It’s not an insult.” he defended lightly. “You’re both absolutely brilliant and engrossed in your work.” he teased lightly. He walked over to Shadow and flicked his forehead lightly. "You need a break.” he scolded gently. The boy bristled at his tone. They made eye contact. The speedster’s gaze softened. “Okay.”

That same gaze that had once looked upon the boy with admiration now scorned him. Their sights met once again. It was pavlovian how Shadow’s eyes softened again but instead of giving in to the feeling, forgiving the man and going back like a dog, he glared. 

He teleported away, back to somewhere that could never would always be home.