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The middle of the night has always been difficult whenever Steve slept alone, ever since his first encounters with the Demogorgon and the weird shit that kept on happening in Hawkins, Indiana. Back when he was a teen, he and his friends would call each other when they were having a bad night, and they would then end up in each other's beds to be there for the one who was struggling. He had lost count of the times him and Robin had shared a bed because one of them couldn’t sleep and couldn’t forget. It was more difficult now as a grown man with a house of his own, a job and a marriage that was in the middle of falling apart. You couldn’t just phone a friend in the middle of the night to talk about bad dreams and regrets, there were jobs to go to, responsibilities that needed tending, bills that needed paying. You couldn’t fall apart as an adult and be supported in the way you were as a teenager by your friends.
He could hear the TV on downstairs. Claire was ether trying to drown out her own thoughts or had fallen asleep watching, what by the sounds of it was, a nature documentary. Steve swung his legs over the side of his and Claire’s bed. It was empty, of course, divorcing couples don’t share beds. He put his head in his hands and sighed as he rubbed his eyes to try and erase his most painful memory. It had plagued him over the past 15 years or so. Worse than any memory of Demo-dogs, Max floating in mid-air, being tortured by Russians, or dragging Eddie back through the gate to Hawkins thinking he was dead.
Him and Eddie used to be best friends for over a year once Eddie had recovered from his injuries and cleared his name. If he’s honest with himself, the metalhead-goofball and him were much more than best friends, he was Steve’s reason to get out of bed in the mornings (and into it on many occasions). He had loved the supportive, caring dude who called him ‘sweetheart’ and ‘big boy’ and paid him compliments about how pretty he was, who had seen him change from king jock of Hawkins High into the person who was trusted and loved by the people he most cared about; Steve had never found a love like the one he had with Eddie when he was young.
Steve looked down at his left bicep, in the half light of his bedroom, and rubbed it with his right thumb. He could just about see his one and only tattoo, a design of his nail bat etched into his skin to remind him to always be brave and do the right thing. He could almost hear the daft metalhead’s excitement as Steve sat to get inked for the first and only time. Eddie had taken him to a place where he knew the owner from Indy’s gay scene. Which was why Eddie had felt safe to impulsively get the same design on his pectoral muscle over his heart to always have Steve with him wherever he went.
Steve’s worst memory was their breakup, the hurt he did to Eddie when he couldn’t come out to his family in the way Eddie was to his Uncle Wayne still impacted him today. Wayne had always practiced radical acceptance when it came to Eddie, supported Eddie and Steve’s relationship in a way Steve’s own parents would never do. Steve had always been their biggest disappointment; he just couldn’t bring himself to tell them that he loved an amazing metalhead who had had the town wanting to lynch him just a year prior. And so, just as Eddie’s band, now called The Upside Down, were getting somewhere, Steve pulled the plug on their relationship. Steve truly was bullshit; Nancy had been right all along; he wasn’t brave enough to do the right thing.
Steve could still hear Eddie’s parting words the last time they spoke, it was even easier now he had recently released them as metal song popular among the angsty youth that went to Hawkins High School where Steve taught Phys Ed. Reget hit different when karma is screaming at you from the speakers of some kid's car. It wasn’t Steve’s cup of tea, he thought it would be better as a pop song sung by Cyndi Lauper or Madonna, but at least he knew that Eddie was just as hung up on him as he was. Now everyone could hear Eddie’s parting shot as he had got out of Steve’s beemer for the last time.
“You can kiss a hundred girls in bars, Stevie-boy, but you’re never gonna be able to escape liking dudes, man. When you wake up next to her in the middle of the night, you’re gonna think about me all those years ago. Come and find me when you’re standing face to face with ‘I told you so’”. He had stormed towards the trailer shouting “Good luck, babe” while he gave him the finger, as he slammed the door.
Steve had told Eddie that he had dreams of having kids, and that no matter how much he wanted to he simply couldn’t disappoint his parents any more than he already had by being in a gay relationship on top of having crap grades when he finished high school, not going to college and having a dead-end job in a small town. They didn’t know that he stayed in Hawkin’s to protect Dustin and Party from Vecna and the terrors of the Upside Down. He had gone on to meet Claire when he had gone to community college in Indianapolis to do his teaching certificate, the irony was that Claire and he hadn’t been able to have kids together, they had tried various methods over the years but nothing had stuck. Neither one of them was at fault, the doctors never could find a reason.
Steve deserved all the years of those words haunting him, and now it was one of the most popular metal songs ever and had catapulted the members of The Upside Down to household names. Kids shouted the lyrics down the corridors of the high school for fuck sake. It was a strange but appropriate punishment for his lack of spine as a teenager. Karma definitely seemed to be Eddie’s kink.
The only person who knew of Steve’s bi crisis, other than the metalhead, was Robin. She had lost a lot of respect for him the day he told her why he had dumped Eddie. She got it as she wasn’t out to her parents at that time, and didn’t speak to them now due to the response she had got when she had tried to come out to them before leaving for college. She still thought it was a poor reason to dump the poor dude if he still loved him. Steve thought about how many points he would have earnt if the ‘You Suck’ board had still been about then. He glanced at the time on the digital clock in his and Claire’s room, 02:37. He should call Robin, she was still his ride or die, she would want to be there for him, would want to know what had happened between him and Claire. He picked up the bedroom landline and called the number he knew by heart.
It rang for a few minutes before it was answered:
“.......um, hello?”
“Hey Nance, it’s Steve, is Robin there...?”
There was a scuffling on the other end of the line and a muffled “Rob, ....Rob...., Robin, it’s Steve on the phone.” Nancy and Robin had been together since they had left Hawkins to go to Emmerson in Boston for college. Nancy was now a Pulitzer winning journalist and Robin worked as a therapist for troubled teens. Steve had been so happy when they got together, his two favourite, badass women were the couple everyone aspired to be.
He could hear breathing before Robin spoke “Steve, I’m beginning to regret not letting you die in that bunker all those years ago, why are you calling me at stupid o’clock on a Thursday morning, Steve.” He could hear Nancy laugh in bed next to her.
“I’m having a bi-crisis Rob, 17 years in the making, I’m having my Starcourt Bathroom moment, I can’t have a gay panic without you, now, can I?”
Steve could hear Nancy say “Nooooooo... Steve Harrington is bi? When did that happen?” to Robin, he could imagine her pressing her head against Robin’s to hear what he was saying over the phone.
“You. Are. Shitting. Me. Right. Now Harrington! Oh my god, have you told Claire?” Exclaimed Robin.
Steve could barely whisper “.... yeah.... It didn’t go over too well. She can hardly look at me, which is a bit rich considering she was cheating on me with some douchebag at work”.
“I’m so sorry, Steve, I’m sorry she couldn’t accept all of you, even if she is cheating with some yuppy at the office. You deserve better than that.” Steve didn’t feel like he did deserve better after what he had done to Eddie.
“We’re here for you, you know that don’t you, Steve? How is it at home? You could always come stay with us in Indy if you’re finding it too stressful.” Nancy told him.
“Thanks, Nance, that means a lot... I’ll think about it...”
Once he started talking to Robin and Nancy, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He told them about him and Claire getting a divorce and the new song from The Upside Down (“that song is about you?! Shit, Stevie-boy, you always knew how to break hearts” declared Robin) which was the catalyst for his latest bi-panic, it had made him realise he still had feelings for the metalhead.
“Since when did you break up with Eddie Munson? Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this-” Nancy’s disbelief could be heard down the phoneline.
“Shh!” Robin interrupted her, before she could build up steam, “you weren’t a safe person to come out to at the time, you were still with Jonathon, we had no clue about you having lesbian leanings, now let the Dingus finish.”
“.......So, anyway, ladies, I have a plan. Eddie’s band are coming for a homecoming gig in Indy next month and I think we should go.”
“I dunno, Dingus, if he’s written a song about you now, it’s still pretty raw for him even after all this time, are you sure it’s the right thing to do?”
“So sure, Rob, I’m gonna go to his gig and wait outside the stage door for him to come out...”
“Steve”, she whispered, “Stevie, I think if you did that, you’d be going the right way for a black eye, if not from Eddie at least from Gareth, he was always protective of him. What if Wayne has gone to see them? Has he ever forgiven you for breaking Eddie’s heart?”
Steve hadn’t seen Wayne since before he and the metalhead had broken up, if he was being honest, he had kind of avoided Wayne after that because he didn’t want to see the disappointment in Wayne’s eyes. He had always looked up to the supportive older man who took Eddie in after his mom died and his dad went to prison, he didn’t want to disappoint another parental figure, he already had two of those and didn’t need more. Steve’s parents didn’t agree with his lack of ambition, didn’t like that he had become a schoolteacher, they were both high flyers in the business world and felt it was beneath him. Being around Dustin and the others had made him realise he had an aptitude for working with kids and so he had made a career out of it. He loved his job, no day was the same, and he could be there for kids going through a tough time and still take part in the sports that he loved. Besides someone needed to stay in Hawkins to keep an eye on the place, what if weird stuff started happening again and there was no one around to let anyone know.
“You still there, Steve?”
“Yeah, uh, yeah, still here. I’m gonna do it, if Wayne’s there all the better, man, I can make amends to him too.” Steve felt proud of himself for the first time in a long while. He was doing the right thing. “It’ll work out, Rob, I’m sure of it!”
“I’m not so sure, Dingus, but I’ll support you in this endeavour if it will get you off the phone and allow me to go back to sleep.”
“I’ll get us tickets, are you coming Nance?”
“As much as I would love to join you in recreating your teenage angst, I’m in New York next month doing a report on insider trading on Wall Street.” Nancy replied sounding annoyed.
“Sounds like it’s just you and me, Rob, you in?”
He could almost hear Robin’s eye roll all the way in Indy. “If I must, Stevie, even if I’m watching you crash and burn. I can’t have my Dingus being kicked like a puppy without me.”
“Thanks, ladies, I’m gonna go.”
“See ya, Stevie-boy"”
As he was about to hang up, he heard Nancy say to Robin, “You better spill the beans Buckley, I want details-” then the line went dead.
Steve chuckled as he lay back down and pulled the duvet up to his chin, the tv was still on downstairs, relief coursing through him that he could finally begin to be his true self after all these years in the closet. He finally fell asleep for a few hours before he was due in to work.
_________________________________________
The day of the gig finally rolled round, and Steve and Robin had her house in Indianapolis all to themselves before they left to see The Upside Down in concert.
“Steve, you aren’t honestly wearing that to see Eddie in concert after all these years, you look like my dad.” Robin waved her hand in his general direction; her face wore a look of disgust.
“You just gestured to all of me!”
“Yeah, because you shouldn’t be wearing any of that. You look like a middle-aged man. And are those loafers?!”
“I hate to break it to you, Rob, I am a middle-aged man. And yes, they are.”
“Chinos and a polo shirt are so passe, at least put on some jeans, don’t you have any trainers? Come on, man, put some thought into this, a little bit of effort. You want to look good, Stevie.”
“I do look good; I have the soccer moms trying to catch my eye and give me their number I’ll have you know.” Steve said proudly, Robin looked like she was going to be sick.
“Ew, Steve. Eddie is cool, he’s not some sex starved soccer mom trying to have fling with her kid's coach. When was the last time you saw any live music?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a concert.” Steve shrugged.
Robin groaned and rubbed her face with her hands. “I can’t believe girls in high school thought you were a catch, what were they thinking. It must have been the hair it mesmerised them with a life of its own.” she muttered as she rummaged through the clothes Steve had brought to Indy with him. “This is hopeless, Steve, we can’t work with what we’ve got here, we need to go shopping. As much as I hate to say it, this calls for the mall.”
Steve and Robin grimaced at each other, any mall, even with Starcourt long gone, held bad memories for the pair.
“It can’t be that dire surely.”
“’fraid so, Stevie-boy.”
With that they got into Robin’s station wagon and went to the nearest mall, they came away with a pair of washed-out black jeans, a plain black t-shirt and a pair of Chuck Taylors.
They had got back to Robin’s with enough time to order in pizza and for Steve to shower and change.
“I feel like a complete dork.” He complained when he came into the kitchen to show Robin his new outfit.
“You don’t look like a dork; you just don’t look like someone’s fifty-year-old father.” She asserted. “At least your hair isn’t falling out like every other man in their mid-thirties, it’s still as lush as ever.”
“Still keeping up the old routine, gotta keep it looking good. You see, what I do is-”
“Shut up, Dingus, no one cares about your haircare routine. Sit here and close your eyes.” She pointed to a seat at the breakfast bar in hers and Nancy’s kitchen. It was a testament to how much Steve trusted her because he immediately did what she said.
The next thing Steve knew she was gently rubbing his eyelids.
“Rob, what are you doing?”
“Shut up and keep still.” She chided. “Right, times up, let’s go, Stevie-boy.”
He chased after her as she bustled out of the kitchen, “Rob, what did you do?”
She picked up her car keys, and backpack and headed out of the door with Steve trying to keep up as she ignored him.
Once in the car Steve looked in the mirror on the back of the passenger seat sun visor as Robin pulled out of the drive.
“You put eye shadow on me?!”
“Too late to change your mind now, Dingus.” She said as she pulled on to the road.
“Men don’t wear make-up, Rob.”
“I think you’ll find plenty of men wear make-up, Steve, and now you’re one of them. You’ll blend right in at the gig. Besides, it goes with your nail bat tatt, that’s pretty metal. You’re gonna catch the eye of a few metalheads tonight, pretty boy.”
“There’s only one metalhead I want to catch the eye of tonight and that’ll happen after the gig if it all goes to plan.”
Robin rolled her eyes. Steve rubbed his eyelids to try and get rid of the black eye shadow but the only effect it had was to make it look smokier than it had before. Steve laughed as he continued to complain.
They pulled up outside Conseco Fieldhouse as it began to get dark. Metalheads were heading to the ticket office, and a queue was beginning to form. Steve was happy to see that Robin was right (as always) and he was not the only man wearing make-up. They queued up with the rest and Steve began to feel nervous butterflies erupt in his stomach.
“I don’t know if I can do this, Rob, I’m bullshit, he’s never gonna forgive me for being such a coward. He deserves so much better...” He almost whispered.
“You’ll only have bigger regrets if you don’t go through with this and at the very least apologise to hi-” She began but was cut off by a huge hairy dude in a sleeveless denim jacket with band patches.
“Cool tatt, man, Munson has one just like that on his chest. It’s a good likeness.” Steve went beetroot when Robin retorted with. “I think you’ll find, “Munson”, copied Stevie-boys, thank you very much.”
The man scoffed and said “Yeah, right.” then turned and carried on talking to the people he was waiting with. “Dude reckons he got his tatt first...”
“As I was saying,” Robin continued, “before I was rudely interrupted,” she glared at the metalhead’s back, “I think, if you at least get the chance to apologise you can move on if nothing else. You two parted with such bad blood between you, it would do you both good to clear the air.”
Steve grunted, he wanted much more than to clear the air and hoped the metalhead would at least want to see him again after he tried to make amends.
Steave led Robin into the arena, towing her along by her hand. To Robin’s surprise Steve had got standing tickets.
“I’m not a complete dork, you know, have a little faith in me.” He said when Robin commented on the fact he hadn’t got seats in the stands.
“I’m pleasantly impressed.”
Steve harumphed and impatiently waited through the warmup sets with his arms crossed, this definitely wasn’t his cup of tea. Robin seemed to enjoy being jostled on the periphery of the pit. She kept motioning for him to join in.
“Don’t be such a square Harrington!” She shouted over the music. “Join me in rubbing up against some sweaty men.” Steve pulled a face. “What? I thought this would be right up your street.” She teased, as she pushed a young woman with short hair back into the crowd. Steve rolled his eyes and began bumping shoulders with those on the edge of the pit. He had to admit the music was better after he started moving to it.
The band cleared the stage, and Steve felt his heart in his throat knowing The Upside Down were due on any minute. He felt like a teenage girl at a boyband concert. How had he still got it this bad for the ridiculous metalhead after all these years, he really was pitiful.
The room went dark and then strobe lights started to flicker all around the room as dry ice filled the stage. Steve had to fight the urge to run as he fought down the panic that rose in his chest, he noticed that Robin had paled and seemed frozen to the spot. At least he wasn’t the only one experiencing a flashback to their traumatic shared teen years. The only sound that filled the space was the occasional whistle.
Suddenly after what felt an uncomfortably long period of near silence Eddie’s voice, magnified a thousand times, echoed around him.
“Hello Indiana, and welcome to The Upside Down!” Eddie screamed as the flickering of the lights grew more and more intense. The stage became flooded with light and the band emerged from the smoke, the crowd surged forward taking Steve and Robin with them. He grabbed Robin’s hand so the weren’t separated.
The first few notes began to play, and Steve felt relief as he recognised the notes to the start of Sweet Home Alabama. Eddie began to sing, but Steve didn’t recognise the lyrics, Eddie had changed them. The crowd around them began to sing along, they really got going at the chorus, shouting:
Sweet home Indiana/
Where your nightmares come true/
Sweet home Indiana/
Where the monsters come for you/
He could see Robin laughing out the corner of her eye. He pulled her close and shouted, “At least all that trauma fuelled his creativity.” Eddie sung the rest of the song, Steve and Robin shouted the lyrics to the chorus with the rest of the crowd twice through before the song ended and the crowd screamed and clapped for more.
The band began to play another song, the people around them began to move to the music as crowd surfers were lifted overhead. Steve and Robin had managed to avoid the mosh pit but swayed along with those around them. Several songs later Eddie paused to down a bottle of water, then announced that they were going to play the final few songs of the night.
“The next two songs are from our new album which will be released next month, though I’m sure you will have heard this one on the radio.” He smiled as he began to play his guitar, and the drummer joined in. This one Steve did know, and he felt himself go red to his ears and his neck grow hotter than it already was. Eddie began to sing:
It’s fine, it’s cool/
You can say that we are nothing, but we know the truth/
Guess I’m the fool/
With your arms out like an angel through the car sunroof/
Steve vividly remembered leaning out of the passenger window of Eddie’s van with his arms the air feeling the wind in his face as Eddie sped down an empty road toward the quarry. He had totally forgotten about that moment until now.
Eddie began to death growl the part that the kids at school shouted at each other, the crowd once again started shoving each other as the pit got bigger, Steve dragged Robin to the side as he struggled with reliving the words Eddie had thrown at him after their break up were screamed at him from the stage and repeated all around him by the throng who were singing along:
When you wake up next to her in the middle of the night/
With your head in your hands, she’s nothing more than your wife/
When you think about me all those years ago/
You’re standing face to face with I told you so/
Steve looked around realising that the lyrics had not been changed to seem like Eddie was singing about a woman. None of the people around him seemed to care that he was singing about a guy, they simply loved the music.
When the song ended the rabble exploded with applause, shouts and whistles.
“Thank you, good people of Indiana, this is the last song, and it requires your participation.” Eddie grinned; the rest of The Upside Down laughed as the mob looked to one another confused. “This song is called H-O-T-T-O-G-O, and these are the actions, when I say “H”, you do this.” Eddie stood with his hands straight in the air, “Then this,” he put touched his fingertips together over his head to create and arch. He went through the actions to each letter and then called the letters out to the crowd to make sure they had got it.
“He’s still a complete dork, Rob, this is totally like YMCA.” Steve laughed as he joined in with the actions, this was much more up his street. Robin rolled her eyes, Steve and Eddie deserved each other if this song ended up being as cheesy as she thought it was going to be. The horde of metalheads looked slightly perplexed but they went along with Eddie’s coaching as if they trusted where he was going with this completely.
The opening bars of the song began once Eddie thought the crowd got what he was asking of them. Eddie scream growled:
5, 6, 5, 6, 7, 8/
The guitar and drums continued before Eddie’s voice began to sing:
I could be the one or your new addiction/
It’s all in my head but I want none fiction/
I don’t want the world but I’ll take this city/
Who can blame a boy/
Call me hot, not pretty/
Steve gawped at the stage as Robin shouted in his ear: “uh, Steve, I think this is about you as well.” Steve could only gulp as the memories of conversations with Eddie came flooding back, he stared at the stage in disbelief as he realised just how much of an impact he had on Eddie’s life. Eddie moved about the stage throwing his hair out of his eyes and leaning into the mic.
H-O-T-T-O-G-O/
You can take me hot to go/
H-O-T-T-O-G-O/
You can take me hot to go/
To Steve and Robin’s surprise the metalheads did the actions around them following Eddie’s lead as he did them on stage. Steve felt like he was watching Freddie Mercury at BandAid. Robin began laughing as she copied the moves and turned to see Steve following suit, “He’s totally still got the hots for you, Stevie!” She yelled over the song.
The crowd went wild as the chorus was repeated several times, they became more and more enthusiastic as they became familiar with the song and its actions. The song ended with thunderous applause, smiles, pure enjoyment and calls for “again!”
Eddie and The Upside Down smiled as they did the devil horns with their hands, they thanked the crowd for their enthusiasm, promising they would be back soon as “There was no place like Indiana.” said When Eddie clicked the heels of his combat boots together three times like he was wearing ruby slippers, and the band left the stage. “I liked the nod to Dorothy there.,” Said Robin, “he obviously knows he’s totally accepted by his fanbase."
Steve hurried Robin out of the venue as soon as possible because he didn’t want to miss the band leaving. “Alright, I’m going, I’m going, don’t fret Stevie-boy!” Robin grumbled. “Oooo, band merch, I want to get a t-shirt” She tried to wander over to the vendor.
“Not now Rob! We have more important things to do.” Complained Steve as he grabbed her elbow.
They went round to the back of the building. By the stage door they could see an extravagant tour bus, there were many people surrounding it as it gleamed gently in the streetlights. Steve and Robin stopped they both seemed to realise that they didn’t feel right hanging around the fans for what could be a very vulnerable moment for the two men.
Steve turned to looked around the parking lot and noticed a familiar green and white van sitting in the shadow of a broken streetlight a few rows of cars away. Steve wandered over to it towing Robin behind him.
“No way, Rob, it’s Eddie’s van,” he began to walk slowly around the vehicle, “He still has it...” Steve breathed as he gently put a finger out to touch it. “It looks just like it did back then, ha!”
“Has anyone ever told you, that you are romantic fool, Harrington! You sure it’s Eddie’s?” Asked Robin shoving him with her shoulder.
“Surprisingly enough, they have.” He laughed. Then he nodded his head toward a sticker that had seen far better days which was placed just below the handle for the back doors, you could just see ‘Corroded Coffin’ printed on it. It was the original band name of The Upside Down.
Steve and Robin sat on a nearby curb close to the van in the mild night air they talked about how much Steve had enjoyed the gig, far more than he expected. Robin said that was because it was all about him and he liked being the centre of attention. They were laughing when a familiar voice called over:
“That’s never Robin Buckley I hear over there?”
Robin squealed as she stood up and ran over to Eddie to fling her arms round him in a huge hug. Steve gulped and walked over with his hands in his pockets, he could hardly breath.
“And Harrington too, I see, to what do I owe-” Eddie said in a reserved manner as he put Robin down. “Steve, what are you wearing? Is that eye shadow?” He raised his eyebrows, and a flicker of interest flashed across his features before he frowned. Steve had totally forgot about the eye makeup and tried rubbing his eyes once again.
“You should have seen him before”, Robin said, before Steve could recover and reply, “He was a complete square. Don’t you think he looks much prettier this way?” Steve glared at her as she cackled.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear black, let alone all black.” Eddie commented giving Steve the once over, he eye’s lingered on Steve’s tattoo. “It suits you. Were you at the gig?” He asked Robin.
“I couldn’t let Stevie-boy attend is first live music gig on his own. Especially one where he would stick out like a sore thumb without my guidance.”
“I’m you’re first time then, Harrington?” He looked at Steve who was still standing stiffly beside Robin.
“Um, yeah, you could put it like that,” He replied with a dry chuckle, not able to meet Eddie’s gaze.
“Did you like what you heard?”
“Very much so, especially H-O-T-T-O-G-O, that was such a blast.” He looked at Eddie’s face for the first time and gave him a bashful smile. Eddie grinned in response. “You were amazing up there!”
“I always told you; you would like metal if you gave it a chance, big boy.”
“Turns out the key for me was dancing to it, once I started, I could see the appeal. It’s quite stress relieving really.”
“You know, one of your fans had the audacity to accuse Steve of copying your nail bat tattoo.” Robin said. Eddie laughed.
“So, what brought you both to my gig? Neither of you have ever come to one before.” Eddie enquired. “Why now?”
“Over to you, Stevie-boy, I’ll see you back at the car.” Robin moved away in the direction of her station wagon.
“Nice to see Robin has developed some tact as an adult life skill.” Eddie commented as Robin wandered off.
Now that Steve’s adrenaline spike was diminishing, he realised how cold he was and shivered. Eddie noticed and ever the gentleman asked if he would like to get into the van out of the now cool night air.
Eddie led the way to the front of the van and opened the driver's door then leaned over the passenger’s side to open the other door. “Hop in princess.” He said as the door swung open for Steve.
Steve did as he was bid feeling quite sick as he really didn’t know where to begin. He made himself comfortable in the passenger seat and looked directly ahead because he couldn’t look at Eddie and talk about why he was there at the same time.
“I’m here because I have to say karma certainly seems to be a kink of yours, Munson,” Eddie laughed at this as Steve ploughed on. “The kids at Hawkins High sing the lyrics to Good Luck Babe all the time, it’s a helluva way to get back at an ex, very creative of you I must say. It also forced me to confront the way I have never been able to be myself in another relationship the way I was when I was with you. I’ve been standing face to face with I told you so for years now and I regret the way I treated you. I wanted to apologise for the way I ended things between us, it was wrong of me, I was a coward, and I was more scared of disappointing my parents and the way others thought of me than I was of anything the Upside Down could throw at me. I was so blinded by fear that I couldn’t see that the best thing that ever happened to me was standing right in front of me. I’m so sorry, Eddie.” His voice broke and he heaved a sob, before he chanced looking over at the other man. Eddie’s eyes sparkled with tears as he cleared his throat:
“Thank you saying for that, Steve, I have to say writing the new album was extremely cathartic, I certainly didn’t expect that single to take off the way it has, must have hit a nerve for quite a few people.” He chuckled at that. “It means a lot that you showed up to bury the hatchet like you have, not many people would have done that this far down the line. You always were brave when it mattered. Far braver than you realise, you’re still in Hawkins after all, you face your fears every day to make sure you keep people safe. You were always such a knight in shining armour. You put everyone else’s needs first and don’t think about yourself. You’re still trying to make amends from your High School King Harrington days.”
“Ha! Nobody’s called me King Harrington in years. Do you have any idea how much you sound like your uncle Wayne right now?” Steve chuckled quietly.
Eddie smiled sadly and whispered, “He died a few weeks before the tour started, you know?”
“I didn’t. I’m so sorry, Eddie, he was a wonderful man, there aren’t many around like him.” Steve took a deep breath and reached a handout to pat Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry he didn’t get to see how popular your music has become he would have been so proud of you; we all are. You made it! You escaped Hawkins, you’re living your dream. That’s ridiculously rare.” Eddie’s shoulders started to shake with sobs, before Steve knew what he was doing he was sat in the middle seat hugging the metalhead as he cried into Steve’s shoulder making his t-shirt wet with tears.
Eddie began to dry his eyes on the sleeve of his checked shirt, he sat up loosing himself from Steve’s hug.
“Not all of my dream came true; you weren’t there for most of it, I wanted us to see the world together, grow old together, have shared experiences that weren’t traumatic as fuck together. Did you get your dream, Steve, did end up with a truckload of kids?”
Steve shook his head sadly before he spoke, “I can only say that I have regretted my actions from the very moment I decided to go through with my decision to break up with you. I can be part of your dream now in whatever capacity you deem fit. Whether I’m in the background cheering you on as you get on with the rest of your life, allowing me the honour of becoming your friend or something more or something less. You don’t have to decide now. Take your time, but if you ever do decide you want to see me again, then here’s my number.” He held out a scrap of paper to Eddie, who brushed Steve’s fingertips as he took it. He placed it safely in the breast pocket of his flannel shirt.
“I think I’ll take you up on that Stevie-boy. Fancy going out someplace tomorrow evening? I can pick you up.”
Steve didn’t know whether to feel excited or be sick.
“That would be great, I’ll just grab a pen from Robin to give you her address, I’m stopping at hers and Nancy’s place for bit now that teaching has finished for summer.”
“Nancy and Robin?”
“Yeah, seems like a weird pairing until you think about it. They’ve been together since college; they seem completely different but they’re both devious and can be completely ruthless when it’s called for. It just works.”
He was about to get out of the van when Eddie leaned across him and started rummaging in the glove box. The butterflies in Steve’s stomach from earlier once again took flight as Eddie’s chest weighed his lap down.
“No need, here you go, sweetheart.” Eddie said as he sat up and passed him a pencil and notepad for him to write down Robin’s address.
“How many people do you have giving you their numbers in thing?” Steve laughed as he wrote down the required information.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Quipped Eddie as he waggled his eyebrows at a blushing Steve as he gave Eddie back the note pad.
“I’d best go find Robin.” He said opening the passenger door.
“Tell her I’ll see her tomorrow afternoon. Pick you up at five, big boy.
“Tell me everything Steve.” Robin said as he plopped himself into the passenger seat of her car.
Steve told her what they had talked about and let her know about Eddie’s uncle Wayne. “He’s coming to yours tomorrow to pick me up.”
“You never got a date?” She whispered.
“Not a date, just more time to talk I think, about what’s happened over the years since we las saw each other. I told him I was happy to be in his life in whatever capacity he deemed fit and gave him my number. That’s when he suggested going out tomorrow evening.”
“Hmm,” breathed Robin as she considered what Steve had told her, “Did you notice the way he looked at you in your new outfit, he definitely thought you were hot not pretty.” Steve laughed as he realised, she had directly quoted Eddie’s song.
“I didn’t notice I was too busy staring at my feet when we first saw him.”
“Well, if you’re going on a date with him tomorrow, please, for the love of anything holy don’t wear those ridiculous loafers. In fact, I’m throwing them out when we get home.”
“Not a date, Rob.”
__________________________________________________________
It was 6:30 in the evening and Steve, was twitchy with adrenaline and nerves. He couldn’t sit still, he couldn’t focus on tasks, he’d been ready to go for almost an hour and Robin, true to her word had chucked his loafers in the garbage. He was wearing his new Chuck Taylors, a pair of blue jeans and a Steve Harrington wardrobe stapple polo shirt.
“Considering this isn’t a date you’re sure as shit acting like it is.” Robin helpfully pointed out with a grin. “Who knew that all it takes to get Steve Harrington’s number is radical empathy and understanding.” She continued to tease.
“Shut it, Buckley.” Steve grumbled much to Robin’s amusement.
Steve continued to move aimlessly around the living room as Robin watched with a smirked. There was a knock on the front door, it was 4:49. Robin shoved herself to standing. “At least he’s not keeping you waiting.” She said as she moved to get the door.
“He never liked being late, it always used to make him anxious.” Commented Steve as he followed her with bated breath. Eddie was leaning against the door frame wearing a dark purple button-down shirt, ripped jeans and bomber boots. He had put his long hair into a neat ponytail, was wearing eyeliner which showed off his big brown eyes and a nervous smile. He was twiddling with a strand of hair that he had pulled over his shoulder to rub on his lip.
“Not a date my ass.” Steve heard Robin whisper under her breath as she smiled widely at Eddie who seemed to be trying to do his best to look cool.
“I feel under dressed; I’m going to go change.” He was about to turn round when he felt Robin’s hand on the small of his back pushing him towards Eddie. He managed to turn around only to see Robin’s front door slammed in his face followed by the sound of her laughter.
“Subtle, Robin!” He yelled though the front door, from the heat of his face he knew he must be red to the roots of his hair. Eddie laughed behind him and said, “I take back what I said about Robin learning tact as an adult life skill. Looks like it’s just me and you Princess, ready to rock?”
Steve made a show of patting his pockets to check he had his wallet and keys. Gave Eddie a nod and followed him to his van.
“What do you want to listen to on the way to my humble abode?” Eddie asked as they got their seat belts on.
Steve’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “That was quick, Munson, you take everyone home you?” He said before he could stop himself.
“Nope, you’re the first, I could take you to a dive bar and then a hotel like I usually do if you prefer.”
“I shouldn’t have said that it was a dick move.” Steve decided it would be best if he changed the subject.
He looked down at the collection of tapes that Eddie had strewn around the dashboard, he didn’t recognise any of the band names. He rummaged until he found one that had been handwritten. He turned it over for the playlist and noticed H-O-T-T-O-G-O on there. “How about this one?” He asked as he handed the cassette to Eddie to load into the tape player.
“Good choice, Harrington, sneaky peak at the new album.” Eddie pressed play and pulled off Robin’s drive. The sound of Eddie’s vocals begun to ring though the van. Steve didn’t recognise the song that kicked off the album. So, he told Eddie: “I’ve had that last song you played going round my head in a loop since yesterday, it’s such an earworm." Eddie smiled as they lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Steve’s mind came up with topics for conversation then dismissed them. In the end as he was about to speak the metalhead asked: “How come you’re staying with Nancy and Robin?”
Steve took a deep breath and told Eddie about his divorce with Claire, and how the atmosphere was so bad at home in Hawkins that he had finally got the guts to leave while the lawyers negotiated terms that were agreeable to them both. Even though he went back for work, he didn’t live there, and he worried in case something was amiss and he didn’t notice. It was now the start of the summer break, and he would be Indy for the summer. He talked about having a queer crisis after hearing Eddie’s song on the radio (and shouted by the kids at work). He had, after quite a bit of introspection, realised things with him and Claire hadn’t been working for a long time. “So, Munson, you were the catalyst for a bi panic twice in my life.”
“I have that effect on people.” He laughed, “I’m so pretty men begin to question their sexuality around me.”
“I’m glad to see that the eighties and small-town homophobia hasn’t influenced your ego after all these years. Tell me what you’ve been up to, fair’s fair after all.”
“So, you already know that after Corroded Coffin changed our name and were spotted at that battel of the bands in Indy, we got signed to a label.” He looked quickly over at Steve to make sure he had his attention. “The band and I have worked our asses off to get as far as we have, the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle may look cool, but it takes a lot of work to get to the point that you’re making enough money to live off. I’ve been to many places; first in the US and then Europe, initially we really took off in the UK before the US got onboard with our sound. I haven’t really settled down, but I did get enough money to buy Wayne a place and get him out of Forest Hills. It’s where I stay when I’m not touring. The nomad lifestyle isn’t really conducive for building a relationship and settling down, I’ve had a fair amount of flings but nothing stuck. Certainly not long enough for me to want to bring them back to Hawkins to meet Wayne. You were the first and only boyfriend with that honour...” He trailed off.
“Is that where we’re headed, to Hawkins?” Eddie nodded, and Steve continued “Wayne was amazing with us when we were young, man, it certainly was an honour to meet him. He was so supportive of us both individually and as couple. He was so broadminded for the times, completely accepting of us for who we were back then. He always said I could talk to him whenever I needed to, he was so much more accepting and understanding than my own parents. Did you know, I was even a bit jealous of your home life, man, it was so much more relaxed and happier than mine ever was.”
“Stop it, Stevie-boy, you’ll make my mascara run.” Sniffed Eddie, “Wayne always tried to make up for the way my dad brought me up before he went to prison, but he was like that with everyone he met, just accepted them as they were and where they were in their life. He always kept up with what you were up to and made sure to tell me whenever I was in town.” Eddie shook his head at the memory. “The band and I have been touring for, like, fourteen years nonstop and we’re thinking about taking a break for a year or so. I was going to be hanging around Hawkins, I want to settle down and have a bit of stability, you know?
Steve decided to change the subject, “You’ve been to so many places, Eddie, which have been your favourite?”
“Ah, a proper first date question, smooth Harrington.” He laughed.
“So, this is a date! Robin thought as much. That woman is right about everything, it’s so annoying.”
“Was there any question that it was going to be anything else?”
“Yes, I had no idea what to expect, I certainly wasn’t expecting it after what I did to you.”
“What can I say, I took a chance, and it worked out, being brought up by Wayne all those years has rubbed off on me. I could see you had worked through the shit that was burdening you in your teen years. Your apology was both sincere and welcome, and you wouldn’t have been there with Robin if you were happy in a relationship with someone else. I just wanted the chance to get to know you again.” Eddie smiled shyly at Steve, who couldn’t help smiling back. He couldn’t remember the last time his cheeks hurt from smiling. Eddie continued:
“So, I would have to say my favourite places have been London, Prague, Paris and New York. London because nothing beats seeing the birth of Britpop, so many beautiful men in velvet, man, and the music, you totally missed out, plus the history of the place, you can’t beat it. Prague, because it’s beautiful and again, it’s rich history. Paris because of the food, god, the food! Nothing like it, French food is totally my favourite. New York for the East Village and it’s gay scene.”
Steve hadn’t travelled far in his life, and it had been quite sheltered in that respect. “That’s amazing Eddie, you’re so well-travelled, the furthest I’ve been, is The Upside Down, man, how many people can say they’ve been to a different dimension? Outside of that, to Maui, for my honeymoon. I stayed on an all-inclusive resort and only left to go back home. I wouldn’t call either of them a cultural experience.” Steve replied, Eddie laughed. They kept to lighter topics on the way into Hawkins, the natural pauses between their conversations no longer felt uncomfortable as they thought of new things to talk about.
They arrived on the outskirts of Hawkins as the sun was going down. Eddie turned down a short road that was surrounded by trees, they pulled into a large clearing that ended in a small single story brick house with a porch. Eddie had left the lights on inside and it looked cheerful and welcoming.
Eddie pulled up to the side of the house. “My humble abode!” He announced, as he immediately hopped out the van and ran around the front to open the passenger door, he gave Steve a small bow and offered a hand to help him out.
“How chivalrous of you.” said Steve holding back a laugh.
“Did you expect anything less?” grinned Eddie as Steve took the other man’s hand and jumped out of the van; Eddie didn’t let go once he had Steve’s hand in his, to his surprise Eddie pulled him round the back of the van and unlocked the doors before letting go of his hand.
He reached inside the back of the van and brought out a picnic blanket, small rucksack and a cool box which had seen better days.
As he shut the doors Steve asked if he could carry anything, Eddie handed him the picnic blanket before he shouldered the backpack and lifted out the cool box.
“Follow me princess.” Eddie said as he turned and lead the way around the back of the house and through the slightly overgrown back yard that backed on the woods, leaving the house behind. Their path through the ankle length grass to the edge of trees, in the gloaming light led to fireflies taking flight around them. Steve smiled, he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen or taken notice of fireflies. More surrounded them as Eddie confidently lead them up a gentle, short incline. He stopped once he crested the slope and waited for Steve to catch up. From their vantage point Steve could see the sun had set and it was now dusk, the pale evening sky was reflected in a small lake, just visible through the trees. There were hundreds of fireflies around the shores.
“Oh my god, Eds, it’s beautiful. I had no clue this was even here.” He smiled at the other man and shyly bumped his shoulder to Eddie’s. “You’ve certainly upped your dating game since the last time we did this.”
“I’ve had fifteen years to plan this, big-boy. You forget, I know how much of a hopeless romantic you are, when was the last time someone took the time to romance you?” He smiled warmly in half-light at Steve.
Steve couldn’t remember the last time someone had wanted to take him on a date, let alone one as well planned as this one. It was usually Steve taking the lead on the romance front in his relationships, it had certainly been that way during his marriage with Claire. Steve remained quiet as Eddie carried on. “I originally bought the place with Wayne in mind, the man loved his fishing, he would go in all weathers.” He took Steve’s hand and led them closer to the shore where there was a tiny pier jutting into the water, under the branches of an enormous weeping willow.
The two men walked over the end of the tiny pier where Eddie took the picnic blanket from Steve and spread it over the wooden planks. He begun taking items out of the cool box. A bottle of Bordeaux, and two clear plastic cups, a baguette cut in half, butter, brie, a sliced apple, grapes and a quiche. Steve quietly sat down as Eddie then opened his backpack to pull out a small battery powered hi-fi. He flipped the top and slipped in a CD and pressed play, Eddie turned it down so that the music would just be in the background.
“Hey, I recognise this,” said Steve in surprise, “REM, right? . I love this album.”
“Well, you developing taste in music over the years certainly wasn’t on my bingo card for this evening.”
“You can blame Robin for that, she was obsessed with this album when it came out.”
Steve smiled at the Metalhead as he used a Swiss army knife to open the bottle of wine before handing a glass of white wine to Steve as Fireflies hung in the air between them.
“Should have known Buckley had something to do with it.” Chuckled Eddie. “I couldn’t take you with me to France, so I spent the afternoon getting my hands on some French food to share with you instead. Dig in, man.”
As they ate the conversation flowed easily between the two men, once most of the food was eaten Eddie reached once more into the cool box to bring out two little ramekins covered in foil and two teaspoons. He passed one of each over to Steve, “do you still like chocolate?”
“Yeah, man, who doesn’t love chocolate.” Steve confirmed as he took the foil off the small pot and dug his small spoon into its contents. “Wow, is this chocolate mousse? Did you make this yourself? It’s sublime.” Steve took another spoonful and savoured his second bite.
“Yes, and yes, Stevie-boy. Shocked that your boy can cook?”
“Not really, you were always good at anything you set your mind to. Plus, Wayne was always a dab hand in the kitchen, so I’m not surprised some of that rubbed off on you as well.”
They carried on talking, as they finished the bottle of Bordeaux Eddie had brought with him, the night deepened, and the stars came out in the clear sky. Steve began to feel cold, so shuffled a little closer to Eddie, “Beginning to feel the chill, Stevie?” Eddie enquired as he put his arm around Steve’s shoulders, Steve leant his head on Eddie’s shoulder as Nightswimming started to play on the hi-fi.
“This is one of my favourite songs,” said Steve quietly.
“Me too, sweetheart.” Responded Eddie as he planted a soft kiss on the top of Steve’s head, he then rested his head on top of Steve’s as they watched the beautiful evening close around them. They stayed like that while the song finished and the last song on the album begun to play.
“We’d best move, or we won’t be able to see our way back.” Said Eddie as he stood up, he offered Steve a hand. The two men stretched and then packed up the remnants of their picnic. After checking to make sure they hadn’t left anything behind they set off back through the woods. As they reached the of the edge of Eddie’s back yard Steve found the courage to reach out and grab the other man’s wrist.
“Wait, Eddie, before we go back to reality, I just wanted to tell you that this has been the most romantic evening of my life, and I don’t want it to end.” Eddie placed the cool box and blanket on the ground and turned to Steve who was wearing the backpack. He used the shoulder straps to pull Steve closer. Steve brought a hand up to Eddie’s cheek and stroked it with his thumb, then slid his hand to the back of Eddie’s neck. He couldn’t take his eyes from Eddie’s lips. He noticed the metalhead lick them as he closed the gap between them and kissed Eddie gently as the light of the evenings fireflies danced in the air around them. One of Eddie’s hands slid up Steve’s face and tangled themselves in Steve’s hair as Eddie deepened the soft kiss Steve had started. Steve used his free hand to pull Eddie’s waist closer. Steve could feel Eddie’s smile as he pulled away to look doe eyed at Steve. Then grinned at him and said:
“Fuck, Harrington, kiss of my life!”
________________________________________________
The End