Chapter Text
Day 1 - Feb 14
Jay had only started noticing his hearing getting worse after he left the army. He chalked it up to the unfamiliar environment. He felt like he wasn’t used to everything being so quiet, more used to daily firefights, and explosions. His hearing was completely fine, while getting dull, before the humvee accident. His eardrums were blown, saving Mouse without really being able to hear anything properly. Everything sounded like being underwater with noise cancelling headphones on. After the accident there was always a ringing in his ears. Now he was lying on the ground of an abandoned warehouse after chasing down a serial bomber, hearing that ringing again.
He could feel the heat searing through his skin, pain shooting through his ribs, and blood pouring down his ear and neck. He wiggled his fingers, wincing at the sudden crack of pain, like lightning radiating through his fingers all the way through his spine down to his legs. Ignoring his body, he attempted standing up, trying to mask the agony from himself through deep breaths through his clamped teeth. His hand, stained scarlet from blood seeping out of shrapnel wounds, pushed his body off the ground, being implanted with little pieces of cement, slicing the skin. He would have gone farther if he hadn’t felt the excruciating pain of his broken leg. He had only now looked down, finding his bone sticking right out above his knee, cutting his jeans with a knife of bone. He slid himself down back to the ground, ripping his bulletproof vest on the concrete wall. He hoped he was safe here, beneath the low rumble of the environment around him, flames threatening to engulf him.
He had the bomber right in his sights before the explosion. Now Jay just needed to figure out where he was from here. The vertigo kept him dizzy, his eyes focused, but his mind spinning. Clicking the side of his radio, he called in what he knew. “5021 George, Bomber headed for the west end of the building…” Jay felt the vibrations in his throat, but couldn’t hear the words he spoke, only the grumbles. He clicked the radio again, “I can’t, I’m injured, I need an ambo, I can’t… I’m on the west side of the building… I think..” Jay knew his pain was obvious, he couldn’t hear the groans he was letting escape his mouth, but he knew they were escaping, so they would be heard over the radio, if his calls were even getting through.
Jay took this time to do an injury assessment on himself. He’d been through too many missions with so many injuries, he made up an injury assessment for himself that was somewhat based on the Mankoski scale, and told Will about it too. Now, whenever he had physical, or mental pain, they would go through his assessment. 0-3 being minimal pain and could be masked, 4-7 being pain that he couldn’t ignore, 8-10 being somewhere in the unbearable region, and for mental, this would be equivalent to, “I was back in afghanistan”. While it wasn’t really medically accurate, Will appreciated that Jay was willing to look after himself a little bit.
Jay started with his feet, and wiggled his toes as much as he could in his work boots, they seemed alright, which was surprising for the left leg, considering. Next was his shins and knees. His left leg was fine, but his right knee was in excruciating pain and he couldn't bend it. His breathing was hitched, trying to keep focused, his pelvis seemed alright, slight pain, then he got to his ribs. He felt like he’d been shot 20 times to the vest. It wasn’t the worst of his pain at the moment, but it certainly wasn’t helping, not like any of this situation was. Now it was his arms, he checked his shoulder, not noticing anything too bad, mostly small bits of shrapnel here and there, and it hurt, like he had just fired his weapon, not his hand gun, but a rifle. The rest of his arm was cut and bleeding, explaining why his hands were so wet. He also seemed to have a couple of broken fingers, pointer and middle on his left hand, at least he still had his shooting hand. He took his right hand up to his neck, feeling around for anything, he didn’t notice much until he got to his right ear. There was a piece of metal sticking out slightly, with blood pooling beneath it.
“Fuck..” he gasped.
Pushing on the radio he called out. “Sarge… There’s a piece… of metal in… my neck, below my ear. Gagh, FUCK…”
The pain in his chest suddenly caught up with him and tried to take some breaths between the pain. He wished Voight was there with him, or Will. Maybe even Ruzek. Voight was an ass a lot, but there was some fatherly thing going on from him to the rest of the team. He took injuries seriously, especially when Jay didn’t. All the times Voight dragged him to see Will at the ED after he took a shot to the vest, or got caught in a fist fight, with punches to the head, or even that one time he slipped down the stairs at an offender's house.
“Sarge..?” Jay cried desperately. He could bear the pain to an extent. But it had been a long time since he saw the rest of the team. Hailey and him had split when they started running after they found the guy, was Hailey okay? Was the guy dead? Where was Hailey when the explosion had gone off?
Jay’s breathing stopped when he felt the radio go off. He didn’t know who it was, or what was said, but he felt the vibrations of the words. He smiled slightly, knowing he wasn’t alone, really. But he was alone, with big metal crates around him, and one was bearing his bloody body. It wasn’t really surprising no one had found him yet, in this maze, which had just been exploded, which left metal bits flown every which way. That reminded Jay he hadn’t finished. He moved his hand past his bloody ear, and around his face, nothing there, not until he reached his head, where he felt blood at the back of his head. He could confidently say to Will in his mind.
9.
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Hailey panted while her feet kicked off the ground. This offender wasn’t getting out so easily. Not with her and Jay around. She curved around the building, getting to the west end. She saw a door, closed, and went through, pointing her gun first. That's when she saw Charlie, who’s their bomber, pointing a gun at Jay in his right hand, a remote in the other. Jay was pointing his gun right back at him, ready to strike when his partner was. She pointed her gun at Charlie, while he smiled with his thumb moving closer to the button.
“Put it down Charlie. Put IT DOWN!” She yelled.
Jay saw his thumb moving and with a swift movement, pulled the trigger on his rifle.
Hailey felt the heat of the bomb push her out of the door, slamming her into the asphalt parking lot. Her ears rang a little, and her head hurt, but otherwise, she was okay. She pointed her gun up at the explosion, out of reflex mostly, but there was nothing left to shoot.
“JAY!” She immediately called out. There were explosive materials in this warehouse, and Jay was now hidden behind flames. She knew protocol, she couldn’t go in there. Besides, she’d kill herself trying to get to him and there was no use. If the explosion threw her that far, who knows where Jay ended up, he was so much closer than she was. Fuck, she thought. She only hoped that he was still alive. He had to be.
Ruzek came running from behind the building with Burgees following through.
“Hailey, you alright?”
“I’m fine, but Jay- Jay’s inside.” She said, stunned, almost on the verge of crying.
“Shit. 5021 Ida, Requesting Ambo and Fire at 5482 Creekstone Road, there was an explosion, officer stuck inside.” Ruzek followed with a couple more swears before asking about the offender. “Is Charlie down?”
“Sui vest. Caused the explosion.” She put her hands around her head, scared for the possibility of what Jay could be going through, or the lack of anything he could be going through. “How didn’t we see it?”
Ruzek pulled her into a hug, comforting her. There wasn’t anything they could have done. They didn’t see the vest, no one did.
“It’s alright, none of us saw it.”
Voights truck turned across the building at high speeds, barely waiting till he stopped before running out to his team. “Who’s inside?” His gravelly voice asked.
“Jay.” Ruzek said calmly. He was calm on the outside, but internally he wanted to scream, run inside, get Jay out, but they couldn’t. They couldn’t risk anything right now.
“Fuck.” he shuttered through his teeth. The kid had been through enough, they were going to be lucky if Jay was still alive. The building was in flames. “5021 Adam, How long until the truck gets here?” Voight demanded over the radio.
“5021 Squad, truck 81 and ambo 61 are three minutes out.” a voice replied. That’s when they heard Jay’s response.
“5021 George, argh, Bomber headed for the west end of the building…I can’t, I’m injured, I need an ambo, I can’t… I’m on the west side of the building… I think..” Once the team heard his voice they all could breathe again.
“He doesn’t remember shooting Charlie.” Hailey mentioned, her eyes wide with fear. “He shot Charlie, because he was holding a gun, and a sui vest controller, he got him, he doesn’t remember?” Hailey was on the verge of a panic attack now, Ruzek there to try and calm her down.
“Jay, you’re going to be okay, rescue is on the way. Report your status.” Voight practically yelled into the radio, pissed. Waiting for a response, Voight tried to search for other ways into the building, mostly to keep his mind busy, and tell Severide quicker ways to get in so Jay could be saved.
The sirens were filling the air, while Jay’s response wasn’t. “Halstead, report status.” Hank yelled again. At this point he wasn’t sure what to think. Hopefully the kid was just passed out from pain, that was one of the better thoughts he had going through his mind right now.
“Sarge, he probably blew his eardrums.” Ruzek added as Squad three pulled in, with the rest of firehouse 51 following behind.
“What’s going on?” Severide called out to the intelligence team.
“There was a suicide bomber, Jay got caught in the explosion, he’s somewhere inside.” Ruzek filled him in, knowing he was the only stable person at the moment, with Hailey panicking, and Voight about to tear someone apart. Calling himself stable was generous at the moment, but at least his head was on as straight as it could be while standing right outside the building his friend could be dying in.
Everyone around intelligence froze when they heard the radio go off again with Jay’s voice.
“Sarge… There’s a piece…gah,.. of metal in… my neck, below my ear. GAH, FUCk…”
Voight froze. Jay’s scream was almost ear piercing, and the whole crew knew Jay didn’t show pain often, so he was in pain. Voight also wasn’t good with anatomy, but he knew that the metal probably hit his artery.
“Sarge..?”
“Halstead, Severide’s coming to get you. You’re going to be okay. I promise you that.”
The silence at this point was haunting. They didn’t know what Jay was going through. They didn't know if he could even hear them, at this point they could only assume. They all waited while their friends from firehouse 51 fought the fire. Gabby and Sylvie were getting anything they might need for Jay ready, especially the pain meds.
“7237, Sergeant Halstead, 3rd battalion, 75th rangers, requesting medivac, my team, I think we ran over an IED.”
Voight turned away from the fire, Jay had said all that mostly perfectly. Clearly, while just earlier he had troubles making a few words. The adrenaline was getting to him, and now so was his PTSD. He couldn’t tell if this was a nightmare, or a blessing. Knowing he’s alive, though not mentally in Chicago. He hadn’t really witnessed Jay’s PTSD first hand, only hearing snippets from what Jay’s told him, and from Will. God, he had to tell Will.
“I can’t hear anything, God dammit. Mouse? Come on Mouse, wake up. When is that backup coming?”
The team all cringed while Jay kept talking over the radio. Ruzek had seen Jay having nightmares before, but none of them have seen it this bad.
“Someone get Mouse to meet us at the hospital.” Ruzek broke the silence.
“AH! Fuck. fuck, dammit.” Jay screamed over the radio.
The fire was practically out at this point, but squad showed no signs of finding Jay yet. Voight at this point was surprised dispatch had let them keep the line so quiet.
“Dawson, I found him, he’s pointing a gun at us, we might need sedation.” Severide's radio call gave a chill to everyone.
“Copy.” Gabby replied calmly, but bitterly. She didn’t want to sedate him, but she knew it might be the only way they could get him to comply, especially since he couldn’t hear anything. She rummaged around the ambo a little before finding what she needed, having it on hand for when they came out.
Everyone now at the scene was in silence. Hoping, wishing, that Jay would come back to Chicago so it wouldn’t be difficult to save him. They all watched the door Squad three went through while everyone on truck fought the fire. Eventually, after strenuous waiting, they all were relieved when Severide, and Mills were holding onto him, Mills holding his feet, Severide holding him by his armpits.
Dawson and Sylvie ran to them, starting their assessment on all the damages as Severide and Mills dropped him on the gurney. They started cutting off his jeans, and started a IV, not watching Jay’s eyes like Voight was. Voight was stuck watching his young detective's face, littered with small wounds from the blast, and eyes angry and confused. His eyes followed the movements of the two paramedics working on him. He just seemed confused and in massive pain. Voight stepped in to help them, taking off Jay’s vest, ripping the Velcro apart. Jay looked at Voight, and his eyes changed from confusion to desperation, or worry.
“Sarge… you’re supposed to be in Chicago, not…” Jay choked between pain, tears and confusion.
“You’re okay Jay.” Voight tried to say clearly enough so hopefully Jay could read his lips. “I’m riding with him, Hailey, take Jay’s Truck, Burgees, lock down the scene with Atwater.”
“Voight, keep his head still, we gotta put a c-collar on.” Dawson demanded respectfully. Jay hated touch and had three people touching him, it was probably best if it was a face he liked.
Voight knew it was going to be a tough ride. He didn’t want anyone else seeing the shit Halstead was going through mentally. He sighed as Dawson and Sylvie put Jay in the truck, Jay keeping his eyes stuck on Voight. Hank made sure to pull out his phone and call Will, and thankfully he picked up.
Voight watched Dawson put two pieces of gauze around the piece of metal in Jay’s neck, while Voight stabilized his neck and Sylvie drove the ambo. They taped the gauze down then put a neck brace on him. Jay was obviously freaked out, and in a lot of pain and all Voight could do was rub the top of his bloody hand. Voight got to take the time of Will taking forever to pick up to actually analyze Jay’s wounds.
He saw the blood dripping from his ears, and neck, the bone sticking out of his leg, tiny cuts all over his arms and face, some bigger than others, drawing more blood than the rest. Voight took the vest and put it beside him when Dawson passed it to him, then watched her cut off the bloodied long sleeve Jay had underneath the vest.
Once they had both seen the bruises, taking over his whole chest area, they both winced. Jay was unfazed, well, maybe that’s the wrong word. More like, out of it completely. He was staring at the ambo ceiling, whispering something to himself, breathing heavily through his teeth. They could both see and hear Jay’s breaths, trying to get through the broken ribs and bruising.
Finally Will picked up.
“Will, get the ED ready, Jay was in an explosion, it's pretty bad but he’s conscious, he thought he was in Afghanistan. I’ve been trying to talk to him, but his eardrums have probably ruptured.”
Dawson took the time to call in the ED, making sure Will could hear it too because she would explain the wounds.
“Ambo 61, Incoming to Med, 31 y/o male injured in an explosion, compound fracture on the right femur, bruising on the chest and possible broken ribs, ruptured eardrums, possible concussion, and too many contusions to count, open wound on the back of the head.”
Will stayed silent, only sounds of running could be heard over the phone. “Will, I'll see you in a few.” Voight was about to hang up, when Jay released all the pain he had pent up, letting out an ear splitting scream.
“Pushing morphine!” Dawson called out.