Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

at first, the "dreamnotfound" jokes were just... jokes.

harmless teasing from fans, from their friends, even from dream himself. george would roll his eyes, laugh it off, maybe throw back a sarcastic remark. it was all in good fun.

but then, at some point, the jokes just stopped feeling so ridiculous.

maybe it was the way dream looked at him sometimes, like george was the only person in the room. or the way george caught himself missing dream more than he probably should, or when george caught himself watching dream’s facecam stream a little too closely, studying the way he smiled, the way he ran a hand through his hair when he was thinking, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed... or when dream, half-asleep and mumbling, had said, "george, you know you're my favorite person, right?" and george had felt something in his chest tighten, like a rope being pulled just a little too taut. or the way his heart did that stupid little thing whenever dream called him "love" in that playful tone... except it didn’t feel so playful anymore.

it crept up on him slowly, like an itch at the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite shake.

at first, it was easy to dismiss. of course he missed dream—he was his best friend. of course dream’s voice made him feel something—it was familiar, comforting. but then there were the moments that just ...felt too much.

george hated it. he hated how much space dream was starting to take up in his head. he hated how the dumb jokes had somehow planted a seed of doubt, of curiosity, of something he wasn’t ready to name.

because if they were just jokes, then why was he starting to wonder if maybe... they weren’t?

this stream started like any other—chaotic, loud, and immediately off the rails.

“hello? hello? are we live?” dream’s voice crackled through the mic, followed by the unmistakable sound of him adjusting his settings.

“you literally started the stream, how do you not know?” george’s deadpan voice came next, accompanied by a dramatic sigh.

“yeah, dream, come on,” sapnap added, already laughing. “you do this every time.”

a few more clicks, a pause, and then—

“okay, okay, we’re live for real now,” dream confirmed, his voice laced with amusement. “what’s up, chat?”

george scoffed. “i already said hi like five minutes ago. we’ve been live.”

“no, you have,” dream shot back. “i was dealing with technical difficulties.”

“that sounds like a you problem.”

sapnap cackled. “chat, place your bets now—how long until george rage quits?”

“i don’t rage quit!” george argued immediately, indignant.

“yeah?” dream teased. “so what happened last stream?”

george opened his mouth, then shut it. “…that... that was different.”

“sure it was.” dream was grinning; george could hear it.

the chat flooded with laughing emotes, the stream barely five minutes in and already full of bickering, teasing, and the kind of effortless banter that only came from years of knowing each other.

it was going to be one of those streams.

as the game continued, the banter between the trio only got more chaotic. dream, as usual, couldn't resist throwing in a few playful jabs at george.

"george, can you stop dying for like two seconds?" dream teased, his voice smooth and light. "i swear, you're making it hard for me to focus."

george rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed. "maybe if you stopped distracting me, i wouldn't keep getting shot."

"oh? i'm distracting you, huh?" dream chuckled, his tone turning more mischievous. "i didn't realize my voice had that effect on you."

george groaned, his cheeks turning slightly pink despite his best efforts to hide it. "you're so annoying."

"yeah, but you love it," dream replied, a grin in his voice.

dream was practically grinning through his words. "what? can't help it if i like spending time with you, george. you're just... so easy to tease."

george huffed, trying to act unbothered, but everyone could hear the smile tugging at his lips. "you're impossible."

"yeah, but you love it," dream repeated, and this time, george didn’t argue back.

the chat was a flurry of heart emotes and laughing faces, the dynamic between them never failing to entertain. sapnap, watching the whole exchange, let out an exaggerated sigh.

“i swear, if you two keep this up, i'm going to have to start charging for the entertainment,” sapnap said, clearly enjoying every moment.

“george’s just shy,” dream teased, nudging the conversation along. “it’s cute.”

george groaned again, but this time, there was no denying the playful tone in his voice. "i'm not shy."

"then prove it," dream challenged with a teasing laugh.

george took a deep breath, finally letting out a dramatic sigh. "you're impossible, dream."

"yeah, but you're not complaining," dream shot back, his voice dropping just a little bit lower.

sapnap, hearing that, burst into laughter. "okay, okay, i’m out. this is too much for me."

"see, even sapnap can't handle it," dream said with a chuckle. "he's jealous."

"of you? please." sapnap's voice was dripping with mock disgust. "i’m just here for the chaos, and you two are giving me plenty of that."

as the stream wore on, george found himself becoming more and more flustered. at first, it was easy to brush off dream's teasing, but as the game progressed and dream’s comments became more frequent, george could feel the heat creeping up his neck. every time dream’s voice took on that playful, almost sultry tone, it sent a little flutter through george’s chest, and he hated how much he couldn’t quite ignore it.

dream was relentless, and though george tried to focus on the game, he found himself glancing at the chat and noticing the flood of hearts and laughing emojis every time dream dropped one of those signature lines. “you know, george,” dream said casually, the words dripping with that familiar teasing energy, “i’m starting to think you’re just pretending to be bad at this game to get my attention.”

george’s fingers faltered over the keys for a split second, his heart racing in a way he couldn’t quite explain. he immediately muttered a quick, “shut up, dream,” but even he could hear the faint tremble in his voice. he hoped no one else did.

then came dream’s next comment, smooth and effortless, “if i were any closer, i’d carry you through this, george. but, you know, i'm just waiting for you to ask me."

george’s breath caught in his throat, and he could feel his face burning. he really hated how his mind immediately went to places it definitely shouldn’t, how the innocent words made his heart stutter in his chest. he shot another weak glare at his screen, praying that the stream chat couldn’t tell how flustered he was.

george groaned, rubbing a hand over his face in an attempt to hide how hot he felt. “you guys are unbelievable,” he muttered, but the more he tried to brush it off, the more aware he became of dream’s voice—how it lingered just a bit longer on his name, how the teasing tone wasn’t just playful, but oddly… intimate?

the stream was in full swing, and despite his best efforts, george found himself zoning out more and more as the game went on. the usual chaos of cs:go was there, but his mind was elsewhere—caught between focusing on the game and trying (and failing) to ignore how flustered he was. dream’s playful teasing didn’t help; in fact, it only made things worse.

"george, what are you even doing?" dream's voice cut through his thoughts, smooth and teasing, as he watched george’s character take another unnecessary death. "you're really on one today, huh?"

george snapped back to reality, trying to hide the way his face had heated up. "i’m fine, dream, just... focusing," he lied, his fingers stiff on the keys. but the more he tried to concentrate on the game, the more he felt the weight of dream’s words pressing against him. you’re really bad today, george. let me carry you. every sentence dream said seemed to have this strange, unsettling edge to it that kept making his heart race.

“you sure? ‘cause it kinda looks like you’re just staring at the screen, hoping something happens,” dream continued, his tone light and playful, but george could hear the hint of something else in it. something that made his stomach flip. “i thought you were better than this.”

george swallowed hard. “yeah, well, i’m not always on top of my game, idiot.” he snapped, trying to sound casual, but even he could hear the edge in his voice.

george’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of dream’s voice, the way it seemed to tease him even more than usual. he tried to brush it off, but it wasn’t easy. his hands were clammy, his head spinning with the ridiculous thoughts he didn’t want to entertain. no, no, no. stop it. i’m not... but the more dream spoke to him like that, the harder it became to shake off the warmth flooding his chest.

"...come on," george muttered, hoping his voice didn’t crack. "you're being annoying."

dream’s voice softened just a little, but it still carried that familiar teasing lilt. “am i, george? or maybe you're just... flustered?”

george let out a frustrated sigh, feeling completely cornered. this isn’t how i wanted this stream to go. he wanted to snap back, to deny it, but a part of him knew it would only make it worse. the last thing he wanted was for dream to notice just how much his heart was racing every time he spoke like that.

“shut up,” george muttered under his breath, but there was no escaping it. he wasn’t sure if it was the chat, the game, or dream himself—but something was undeniably making him feel like he was losing control.

'i’m not into him,' he reminded himself again. 'i’m not. why would i be?'

dream, clearly enjoying himself, leaned into it even more. "don’t worry, george. if you want to keep being bad at this game, i’ll be right here to carry you." he paused, his voice taking on an almost softer tone. “i don’t mind. really.”

george didn’t know what to do with that. he felt a knot in his stomach, a mix of frustration and something else he couldn’t quite define. “whatever,” he said weakly, trying to keep his cool, but he could feel himself losing the battle. 'why is he doing this to me?'

as the game went on, george couldn’t ignore the growing feeling of discomfort in his chest. the teasing, the way dream’s voice seemed to wrap around him with each passing moment, it was all becoming too much. his mind was racing, thoughts colliding in a messy heap of confusion. why was he reacting like this? why couldn’t he just focus on the game?

the way dream had spoken to him, every comment seeming to be more loaded than the last, was overwhelming. george could feel the heat in his cheeks, his palms clammy as he gripped the mouse too tightly. 'this isn’t just annoying', he thought, his heart thudding in his chest. 'this is... too much'. the game was barely registering anymore. the bright screen, the endless sounds of gunfire—it was all just noise now. and dream’s teasing voice? it was suffocating him.

"george, you good?" dream’s voice broke through his thoughts, that teasing lilt still there, but this time it felt more like an actual question. he sounded concerned—at least, a little. "you’ve been quiet for a while."

george blinked, trying to pull himself back into the moment. "yeah, yeah, i’m fine," he muttered, but his voice didn’t sound convincing, even to him. his heart was still hammering in his chest. he could feel his mind spiraling, and the last thing he wanted was for dream to notice how much it was affecting him.

sapnap, always quick to catch on, threw in his usual teasing jab. "ohhh, i think george is about to rage quit, chat. is it happening? we got a live one, folks."

george felt a wave of frustration crash over him. he wanted to yell, to tell them both to stop, but the words stuck in his throat. it wasn’t the game or the chat or even sapnap’s teasing. it was the way dream kept looking at him through the screen, the way his voice felt like it was reaching through the pixels and pulling at something inside him that he didn’t understand.

he’s not doing this on purpose, right? george thought, his mind spinning, but the doubt lingered. maybe it wasn’t intentional, maybe it was just how dream was—but right now, it was too much for him to process. he couldn’t deal with this anymore, not here, not in front of thousands of people.

"i... i’m gonna end the stream early," george said suddenly, his voice quiet, as if the words themselves were a relief. he didn't even fully know why he was saying it—he just couldn’t handle the tension anymore. "i’m not feeling great."

the chat erupted in confusion, with questions flooding in, but george didn’t wait. he immediately clicked the button to end the stream, the screen fading to black in an instant. 'huh. twitter's gonna love this one.'

sitting back in his chair, george let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. his hands were still shaking slightly, and the world felt too loud, too overwhelming. why did that feel like so much? he wondered. why do i feel like i just ran a marathon?

he rubbed his eyes, trying to calm himself, but the heat on his face wouldn’t go away. he didn’t want to deal with this. not now, not like this. he just needed to be alone for a while, to make sense of everything that was swirling around in his head. he needed to find a way to shut it all off—dream, the chat, the teasing, and most of all, his own thoughts. because right now, george wasn’t sure what was real and what was just his mind playing tricks on him.

george stood in the kitchen, his hands gripping the glass of water a little too tightly as he tried to calm himself down. the noise of the stream, the chaos, the teasing—it all still buzzed in his head, like a loud, never-ending hum. his face was hot, his chest tight, and he couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that something was off, but he couldn’t figure out what. 

just as he set the glass down, he heard the door creak open, and he turned to see dream standing there, framed in the doorway. dream's expression was soft, not his usual playful smirk, and george immediately felt defensive.

"hey," dream started, his voice quieter than usual, like he was tiptoeing around something. "you good?"

george blinked, surprised by the question. good? he couldn’t even figure out what was going on in his own head. "yeah, i’m fine," george said quickly, not meeting his gaze. why is he even asking? it’s not like it matters. but the words felt off as soon as they left his mouth. why would i even say that?

dream didn’t seem convinced. he stepped further into the kitchen, eyes scanning george’s face. "you sure? you were acting a little... off during the stream," he said, tone still soft but with that underlying concern. "i just wanna make sure you’re okay."

george felt his stomach twist, a rush of heat flooding his face. why is he being so... serious about this? he wanted to snap back, to tell dream it wasn’t his business, but instead, he just rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "i don’t know, okay? i just... i needed a break. it’s not a big deal. just drop it."

dream didn’t back off. "it is a big deal if you’re not feeling okay. you can talk to me, you know?"

george’s jaw clenched. why does he make everything feel like this? "i said i’m fine!" he snapped, unable to stop the irritation creeping into his voice. "i just... i don’t know, okay? i feel weird. is that what you wanna hear? is that what you want me to say?"

dream stepped back slightly, surprised by the sharpness in george’s tone, but his expression didn’t change. "i just—" he paused, clearly unsure of what to say. "george, you don’t need to pretend like everything’s fine if it’s not. i’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. i just want to make sure you’re okay."

george felt a knot form in his stomach, and he could feel his emotions getting all tangled up inside. why is this so hard? he didn’t want to talk about it. he didn’t even know why he was feeling like this. what is this? why am i reacting like this to him? his voice came out strained. "i don’t know, dream. i just feel... confused, alright? everything just feels like too much, okay? the stream, the game, you... it’s just... ugh."

he didn’t know what he was saying, but once it started coming out, it was hard to stop. dream’s eyes softened, but george couldn’t bring himself to look at him. his mind was a mess, and he hated it. 

"george," dream said quietly, and the gentleness in his voice made george feel like he was suffocating. "i didn’t mean to make you feel like that. i’m sorry."

george felt a pang in his chest at the apology. why is he apologizing? he clenched his fists, fighting back the confusion that was swirling in his head. "i just... don’t know what’s going on right now. everything’s all over the place. i don’t know what to feel or why i’m even... acting like this."

dream gave a small, understanding nod, but he didn’t push further. "okay," he said softly. "take your time, george. i’ll give you some space."

george nodded quickly, eager to escape the situation, but the truth was, he wasn’t sure what he even wanted. dream wasn’t being annoying anymore, but that only made things worse—because it was easier to get frustrated than to admit that maybe this was all affecting him more than he wanted to admit.

as dream turned to leave, george let out a shaky breath, still confused, still overwhelmed. his heart was pounding, his mind was a mess, and he hated it. what the hell was that? he thought, staring down at his hands. he just needed to figure it out—but he had no idea where to even start.

Chapter Text

george lay flat on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his eyes wide and unblinking. his chest rose and fell in quick, uneven breaths, the rhythm erratic, as if his body was struggling to catch up with his mind. the phone in his hand felt heavy, its screen now dim, but the image it held was still burned into his thoughts—dream's latest instagram post. 

it had been a simple thing, a picture. just dream, nothing more. but as george lay there, a heat spread through him like wildfire. his skin prickled, each nerve alive with an unfamiliar sensation that made his whole body feel like it was on fire. he had no idea what was happening to him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something inside him had shifted. 

his fingers trembled, tightening around the phone as though the act of holding on might anchor him to reality. his breath came in sharp gasps, ragged and shallow. why was he reacting like this? it made no sense. it was dream—his best friend, the person he'd spent years talking to, laughing with, playing games alongside. they’d shared so much, and yet, something about the way dream looked in that photo—a messy tangle of hair, a confident, carefree expression, the teasing caption that george knew was meant to be playful—had shaken him to his core. his stomach twisted, his heart hammered in his chest, and everything felt dizzyingly out of place. 

george sucked in a shaky breath, hoping to steady himself, but it didn’t help. his face burned, his pulse raced, and the heat in his body only grew, making it unbearable. he rolled onto his side, burying his face in the pillow, desperate to block out the surge of heat that clung to him like a suffocating blanket. but it wouldn’t leave. no matter how hard he tried to push it down, it lingered, growing stronger, louder, impossible to ignore.

it was as if the world had tilted, and he had no idea how to right himself.

he had had enough. he couldn’t keep feeling like this.

with a frustrated grunt, george tossed his phone onto the bed, watching it bounce slightly before lying still. he clenched his fists at his sides, squeezing his eyes shut, as if the act of shutting out the world could somehow make everything go away. the heat still burned under his skin, but he was done. done trying to figure out why it felt like this, why his heart pounded so hard every time he thought about that stupid photo, why his stomach twisted in ways he couldn’t explain.

he sat up abruptly, the motion quick and sharp, as if he could shake the feeling off like a bad dream. he stared down at the floor, hands gripping the edges of the bed for support, his body still trembling with the rush of emotions he couldn’t name.

'what the hell is wrong with me?'

his mind raced, but no answer came. just the same overwhelming heat. the same tightness in his chest. everything was too much, too fast, and he was so damn tired of it.

“this is stupid,” he muttered to himself, though the words didn’t feel true. nothing about this felt stupid. everything about it felt real, and that was what terrified him.

he had to talk to someone about it. someone he trusted, someone who would swear not to tell a soul.

george’s mind immediately went to sapnap. the thought of reaching out to him felt like a lifeline, something solid in the midst of all this confusion. sapnap was always there for him, always ready with a joke, a distraction, or a shoulder to lean on. but this? this was different. he wasn’t sure how to explain the way his heart raced every time he thought about dream, or the heat that flared up inside him at the memory of that damn photo.

he could already hear sapnap’s voice, teasing him in that way he always did. "what, you like dream or something?"

it would start as a joke, but george knew it wouldn’t stop there. sapnap would want to know more, and george wasn’t sure he could handle the questions. or worse, what if sapnap didn’t get it? what if he laughed it off or made it into something it wasn’t?

but there was no one else. no one who could understand, who could listen without judgment. sapnap was the closest thing he had to someone he could confide in.

taking a deep breath, george reached for his phone again, fingers hovering over the screen. his thumb hovered over sapnap’s name, his heart pounding in his chest as he debated whether or not he could actually send the message. "hey, we need to talk."

it sounded so simple, but it felt like he was about to throw himself into the unknown.

with a shaky exhale, george hit send.

george immediately regretted it, because not even a second later, his phone blared loudly, the sudden noise slicing through the silence of his room like a shockwave. his heart lurched in his chest, his stomach dropping as he stared at the screen with wide eyes. the notification was already there—sapnap’s name flashing across the top, a message waiting to be opened.

it was too fast. too soon. he hadn’t even fully processed what he’d just done.

his thumb hovered over the screen, hovering in hesitation as his mind spun in a panic. what if i said the wrong thing? what if sapnap thinks i'm being weird? the doubts crept in, tightening around his chest like a vise. what if he laughs at me? what if he doesn’t get it?

he could feel his pulse racing, hear the blood pounding in his ears. the warmth still hadn’t left his body, still clung to his skin, making him feel restless and exposed. he felt like he had just opened a door he couldn’t close again, and it was too late to back out now.

his finger trembled as he clicked on the message notification, his throat dry as he read the simple, casual message from sapnap. “yo, you good? what’s up?”

george stared at it for a long moment, the words seeming so much more loaded than they should’ve been. it was the kind of message sapnap would always send when something felt off, but it hit george differently now. he could almost hear sapnap’s voice in his head, the tone casual but with that underlying sense of concern. sapnap was the kind of friend who noticed when something wasn’t right, and when he noticed, he didn’t let it go until he had the full story. george could already feel the weight of the inevitable follow-up questions.

'what am i doing?' george’s thoughts scrambled. 'he's gonna want to know everything. i can't explain this.'

his phone buzzed in his hand again, the screen lighting up with sapnap’s name, but george couldn’t bring himself to open it. instead, he stared at his own message—the one he had sent without thinking. 

it had been too vague, too cryptic, and now everything felt ten times more complicated than it had a few minutes ago.

the phone buzzed again, and this time, he knew he had no choice. if he didn’t respond, sapnap would just keep pushing, and the last thing he wanted was to seem like he was avoiding it. so, with a heavy sigh, he opened the text box.

his fingers shook as they hovered over the keys. 'how do you even start this? how do you even explain it?' he swallowed hard, staring at the blinking cursor.

“i need to talk. about dream.”

he read the message over, heart thudding in his chest. he wanted to erase it. rewrite it. make it sound more normal, more like something that could come out of his mouth without feeling ridiculous. but in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to change it.

with one last shaky breath, he pressed send.

it seemed sapnap had left him on seen for a minute. george’s heart skipped in his chest as he stared at the screen, the tiny, ominous “seen” under his message practically mocking him. the little gray text felt like a heavy weight, suffocating him with every second that passed without a response.

what if he tells dream?

the thought hit george like a punch to the gut. what if he thinks it’s weird? what if he tells dream everything, and dream starts looking at me differently? he could already hear sapnap’s voice, the teasing tone that he usually wore so comfortably. "so, you like dream, huh?" the thought alone made his stomach twist in knots, and panic flooded his chest, threatening to crush him.

he sat frozen, staring at his phone as if it might give him the answers he desperately needed. his hands were clammy, his breath shallow. maybe it’s better if i just never tell him anything. maybe it’ll all blow over, and i’ll forget about it in a few days.

but that wasn’t the truth, was it? it wasn’t that simple. it’s not just going to go away. why can’t i stop thinking about it?

his mind raced, spiraling, jumping from one worst-case scenario to another. what if sapnap tells the whole group? what if they all find out, and then dream thinks i’ve been lying to him this whole time? george’s pulse quickened, and a cold sweat began to form on his forehead. he couldn’t breathe. he felt trapped in his own head, drowning in his thoughts, each one more overwhelming than the last.

he forced his eyes away from the phone screen, trying desperately to focus on something else. just breathe. get it together, george.

just as he thought he might snap from the tension building inside him, a soft knock at the door interrupted his spiraling thoughts.

george froze, every muscle in his body going rigid. his eyes shot toward the door as if it had come to life, the sound of the knock somehow louder than it should’ve been. his heart pounded in his chest, the noise deafening in the stillness of the room. for a moment, time seemed to stand still. his whole body went cold.

he didn’t even move. who... who could that be?

the knock came again, softer this time, almost tentative, but still just as clear.

george barely breathed, his body tense as a wave of dread washed over him. no. no, not now.

his mind raced through a million possibilities. what if it’s sapnap, coming to check on me? what if he saw the message and knows something’s wrong? but then, what if it’s someone else? what if it’s dream?

the thought made his heart skip a beat. he hadn’t spoken to dream in person in days, and he’d certainly never felt like this around him before. what if dream had somehow figured it out? what if he knew, somehow, what george was feeling?

george's throat tightened, and he found it hard to swallow. he stayed perfectly still, holding his breath, praying whoever it was would just leave. but the knock came again, this time followed by a soft voice from the other side of the door.

“george? you okay in there?”

it was sapnap.

his mind slowly drifted back to his message, the weight of the “seen” lingering like an unspoken question, a reminder that everything was about to change. 'what if he can’t help me? what if he doesn’t understand?'

he glanced at his phone again, but there was still no response. the absence of a reply felt suffocating. every second that ticked by made him feel more isolated, more alone in his confusion.

'you should’ve never sent it,' he thought. 'you should’ve kept it inside, like you always do.'

but even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it wasn’t true. he had to talk to someone about this. he couldn’t keep carrying this weight on his own.

george’s breath caught in his throat, his heart leaping into his chest as he heard the familiar voice through the door. it wasn’t dream. it was sapnap.

he felt a mix of relief and anxiety flood through him in an instant. before he could even respond, another knock came, followed by sapnap’s voice, more urgent now.

“george? come on, dude, i know you're in there. what’s going on? you’ve been acting weird all week.”

george’s stomach twisted. he had no idea how to explain, how to even begin. 'i can't just blurt it out,' he thought, feeling the familiar rush of heat rise to his face. 'he’s gonna think i’m crazy,'

still, he knew sapnap wouldn’t let it go. not with the way he was pushing, his voice soft but persistent, laced with that concern george couldn’t ignore.

taking a shaky breath, george finally pushed himself off the bed and stood up, dragging his feet toward the door. he wiped his hands on his jeans, hoping to somehow still the trembling. his mind was reeling—should he tell sapnap everything? should he just keep it vague, say it’s nothing? 

he opened the door slowly, his stomach churning as he faced sapnap, standing there in his usual hoodie and a look of barely contained curiosity.

“hey,” george said, his voice quieter than he intended, and he winced at how shaky it sounded.

sapnap raised an eyebrow, his eyes flicking over george’s face before locking onto his. “you alright, man?” he asked, his tone casual but there was a hint of concern in his eyes. “you’ve been acting off for a while. tell me what’s going on.”

george swallowed hard, feeling his pulse race again. he leaned against the doorframe for support, trying to gather his thoughts, but it felt like they were scattered, like everything inside him was a jumble of words he couldn’t quite form.

“uh…” he started, then paused, looking down at the floor as his hands found the back of his neck, rubbing the tension away. “it’s… it’s about dream,” he mumbled, barely able to meet sapnap’s gaze.

sapnap’s expression shifted, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took a step closer, sensing that something was wrong. “dream? what about him?”

george felt his heart race as he opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. how could he possibly explain this feeling? how could he tell sapnap that his best friend, the guy he had shared years of laughter and gaming with, was suddenly making his chest tighten and his thoughts spin out of control?

he finally sighed, his shoulders slumping. “i don’t know, man. i just… i saw this post of his. and i don’t know why, but it… it hit me different. and i can’t stop thinking about it. like, really thinking about it, and i don’t get it. i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” his voice trailed off, the words tumbling out in a rush as his face turned red with embarrassment.

sapnap blinked, his expression softening, and for a moment, he said nothing. george couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear the thought of sapnap laughing at him or thinking he was ridiculous. but instead, sapnap stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“hey,” he said, his voice low and calm, “it’s okay. you’re not crazy.”

george looked up at him, the weight of the words finally sinking in. sapnap was being serious.

“just tell me what’s going on, man,” sapnap continued, his grip on george’s shoulder firm, reassuring. “you know you can talk to me. no matter what it is, i won’t judge.”

george took a deep breath, the tightness in his chest easing slightly with sapnap’s presence. he finally met his friend’s eyes, the vulnerability he felt raw but somehow grounding.

“i don’t know. i’ve just been feeling... weird. about dream. like, i don’t even know how to explain it.”

there was a long silence. sapnap didn’t speak right away. instead, he studied george for a moment, letting the words hang between them in the quiet of the room. george could feel his heart hammering again, every second stretching like an eternity as he waited for a response. 

finally, sapnap broke the silence with a soft chuckle, a teasing glint in his eyes. “dude,” he said, his voice light, “you’re not the first person to have a weird feeling about a friend. maybe you actually like him.”

george’s stomach dropped, his heart skipping a beat. his face burned, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze.

he opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. instead, he just stood there, silent, his mind racing in a thousand different directions.

sapnap’s grin softened as he raised an eyebrow, noticing the shift in george’s demeanor. “hey, man, i’m just messing with you,” he said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “but, seriously, if it’s bugging you, just talk about it. no big deal.”

george remained quiet for a long moment, the weight of sapnap’s words pressing down on him. he finally shook his head, forcing a half-hearted laugh. “no. no way. i’m just... i’m just overthinking it. i’m fine, really.”

sapnap eyed him for a moment, his teasing grin fading into something more thoughtful. “alright, man. whatever you say. just know i’m here if you need to talk.”

george nodded quickly, relief washing over him, but the confusion was still there, swirling in his mind.

as sapnap walked away, george stayed standing there in his room, his heart still racing, the weight of the conversation lingering. he shook his head again, trying to convince himself that it was nothing, but deep down, a small, quiet voice refused to let go. 

Chapter Text

george couldn’t sleep. every time he closed his eyes, the image burned behind his eyelids—dream’s effortless smirk, the way his messy hair stuck out in every direction, the way the light had hit just right, casting shadows over his face. it was infuriating. it was stupid. it was just a picture.

so why couldn’t he shake it?

he turned onto his side, punching his pillow into a better shape, but it didn’t help. his mind wouldn’t stop replaying the moment, like some cruel, endless loop. the worst part was that there was nothing special about it. dream wasn’t doing anything. he wasn’t even looking at george, just existing—like he always did, like he always had. but somehow, for some reason, george couldn’t stop seeing him.

he groaned, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling.

the conversation with sapnap had helped. sort of. at least now, the thoughts weren’t trapped inside his head, spinning like a storm with no direction, no end in sight. saying it out loud had forced the pressure to release, even just a little. but then sapnap had laughed—so casual, so confident, like he had everything figured out.

"maybe you actually like him."

george clenched his jaw. the words echoed in his mind, looping over and over. as if it were the simplest thing in the world. as if it made sense. but it didn’t.

because dream was dream. his best friend. his annoying, infuriating, insufferable best friend.

and yet—

george squeezed his eyes shut. he needed sleep. he needed to stop thinking. he needed this to mean nothing.

but as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t unsee it. he couldn’t unfeel it.

and that was the problem.

the next morning, george lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. his limbs felt heavy, his head buzzing from exhaustion, but sleep had refused to come. every time he closed his eyes, his mind betrayed him—flashing images of him. dream’s stupid grin. the way his hair curled at the ends. the easy way he leaned in, always too close.

it didn’t mean anything. it didn’t.

george inhaled sharply, turning onto his side. his phone sat on the nightstand, screen dark, but he knew if he reached for it, dream’s name would be there. it always was. maybe a good morning text. maybe a dumb meme. maybe nothing at all.

he shouldn’t care.

he squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his face into the pillow. he just needed space. a break. if he put some distance between them, this would go away. it had to.

this was just his brain being weird. it was just a joke. right?

george groaned as he pushed himself up, feeling the weight of the night still clinging to his eyelids. his muscles ached, every movement sluggish. the thoughts from last night—dream’s face, his laugh, the way everything felt different —lingered like a thick fog in his head.

he rubbed his face, trying to shake off the haze. it was early, but there was no point in lying in bed any longer. he had to get up. had to pretend like everything was fine, like he was fine.

sliding out from under the covers, george shuffled to the bathroom, the cool tile against his feet grounding him in the present. the mirror reflected a tired version of himself. he ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to wake up, but there was no shaking the heaviness in his chest.

he splashed cold water on his face, the chill sending a shiver down his spine, but it didn’t help. the heat was still there—familiar and uncomfortable. 

he shut the bathroom light off with a sigh and walked back to his room, eyes still groggy and unfocused.

maybe if he went through the motions, it would fade.

he picked out a hoodie from the pile of clothes on his chair and threw it on, not caring if it was wrinkled. normal. that’s all he needed to be right now.

as he walked to the kitchen, he tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing. making coffee? yeah, he’d do that. he opened the cabinet and grabbed a mug, the routine comforting in its predictability. he poured the coffee, waiting for the heat to sink in and take some of the fog away.

but the moment his phone buzzed on the counter, his stomach flipped.

he knew it was coming. he knew . but it didn’t stop the jolt in his chest as he saw dream’s name flash across the screen. 'hey, you up yet?'

george stared at it for a long moment, the words staring back at him, simple and casual, but somehow so much heavier than they should’ve been.

he could ignore it. he could pretend he hadn’t seen it. but... he knew it wasn’t that easy.

he sighed, looking at the message again. 

he grabbed his phone and tapped out a quick response. yeah, just woke up.

as he hit send, he couldn’t help but think of the way his heart had skipped when he saw the message. the way his fingers had trembled just a little.

he stood there, waiting for a reply that didn’t come immediately, the quiet in his kitchen settling over him like a weight.

just another day. everything was fine. he could do this.

george had been pacing around the kitchen for what felt like hours. his stomach churned with nerves, and every few seconds, his eyes would flick toward the door, waiting for dream to come in. it felt like he was just running from the inevitable, but he couldn’t help it. he had to keep avoiding him.

he couldn’t let dream see how much the last few days were eating him alive.

he was standing at the counter, pretending to study the ingredients in front of him when dream finally walked in. george’s heart did that stupid fluttering thing again, and he clenched his fists, willing it to stop.

“hey,” dream said, his voice soft, almost too gentle for the tension hanging in the air. “you’ve been acting… different. is everything okay?”

george’s eyes stayed glued to the counter, but he couldn’t avoid dream’s gaze for long. dream was standing close now, too close. george felt the familiar ache in his chest, and it made him want to flee. to run away, get some distance, but he couldn’t leave. not when dream was right here, standing in front of him, waiting for an answer.

“i’m fine,” george muttered, his voice flat, a little too sharp.

dream didn’t move, didn’t say anything at first. the silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. george wanted to look up, to meet dream’s eyes, but he couldn’t. not with the mess of emotions threatening to spill out. it would make everything real. and real was something george wasn’t sure he could handle right now.

“george...” dream’s voice cracked slightly, and george felt the pain in it like a physical blow. “why are you doing this? why are you pushing me away?”

george winced, the guilt settling in his stomach like lead. his fingers dug into the edge of the counter, the sharp pain helping him focus for a second. he had to say something, anything to make this stop. he couldn’t keep feeling like this. it had to go away.

“i’m not pushing you away,” george said, but it came out too quickly, like a lie he was trying to sell even to himself.

dream shook his head, stepping closer. “yes, you are. i don’t understand. did i do something wrong?”

george’s chest tightened. “no. no, it’s not you,” he said, the words tumbling out too fast. “it’s me. i just... i just need some space. that’s all.”

dream’s eyes softened, but george could see the hurt creeping in behind them. he opened his mouth, about to say something, but george quickly interrupted him.

“no, dream, really. it’s nothing. i swear,” george said quickly, his voice raising a little in desperation. “i just... i don’t know. i just need to be alone right now, okay?”

dream took another step forward, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. “but you’ve been acting like this for days, george. it’s not nothing. you can talk to me, you know.”

george closed his eyes, pressing his palms to the counter, trying to hold himself together. “i am talking to you,” he said, his voice cracking despite his best efforts. “and i’m telling you it’s fine. i just need some space. it’s just... everything’s fine.”

dream was silent for a moment, studying him with that look—like he could see right through george, like he knew the truth even if george couldn’t admit it. “are you sure?” dream asked softly. “because it doesn’t feel fine.”

george winced, feeling like he was about to break. but he couldn’t let it out. not now.

“i’m sure,” george finally said, forcing a smile that felt too tight. “it’s just... everything’s fine, dream. please. just drop it.”

for a long time, dream didn’t say anything. he just stood there, watching george with those piercing eyes, and for a second, george thought he might say something else. something that would tear it all apart. but then dream sighed, defeated.

“alright,” he said quietly. “i won’t push you. but you know where to find me if you want to talk.” he turned to walk away, but before he reached the door, he hesitated. “just... don’t shut me out, george. i don’t want to lose you.”

the words hit george harder than anything else. his breath caught in his throat, and he felt like the floor had disappeared beneath him.

but he couldn’t answer. instead, he just stayed there, staring at the counter, his heart aching with everything he couldn’t say.

and dream left, the silence stretching further between them, leaving george with nothing but the crushing weight of his own lies.