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RYAN BERGARA: This week on Buzzfeed: Unsolved we dive into what is, I'm told, one of the biggest medical marvels of the 21st Century.

SHANE MADEJ: The biggest? That's a - a pretty bold claim to make.

RYAN BERGARA: One of the biggest. Though I don't think you'll be refuting that claim when we really get into it.

SHANE MADEJ: Oooh, ominous. I like it.

On August 7th 2017, a gas main underneath a wax museum in Great Yarmouth, England exploded. Two bodies and one survivor were recovered an hour after the initial explosion. The bodies were that of Timothy Stoker, Archival Assistant to the Magnus Insititute, and John Doe - the subject of today's episode.

SHANE MADEJ: Dun dun dun!

RYAN BERGARA: Shut up, dork, I'm reading.

SHANE MADEJ: Between the two of us, I'm the dork?

Doe was described as a dark-skinned man, 5'6, with faded scars all over his body and no obvious signs of recent trauma.

RYAN BERGARA: See, this is what began the mystery for me. How did he die if he didn't have any other wounds?

The men were admitted to the James Paget University Hospital where they were both declared dead, though they were quickly transferred to a private hospital in London. Upon arrival, Head of the Magnus Institute Elias Bouchard - who had paid for their treatment - demanded that staff check John Doe for brain activity. While Stoker was confirmed as deceased, surprisingly Doe - despite the lack of pulse or breathing - had brain activity similar to that of REM sleep.

SHANE MADEJ: Can you imagine bein' just a - just a regular ole nurse when this random guy comes up to you and is like, 'Hey. You know those, um, those bodies? Down the hall? Yeah, I'm gonna need ya to check them for brain activity.'

RYAN BERGARA: <wheeze> 'But sir, neither have a pulse!'

SHANE MADEJ: Wait - was this guy Timmy's boss? Head of the Magnus Institute-

RYAN BERGARA: I know! It's just <wheeze>

SHANE MADEJ: Really lends a whole new meaning to managing the work environment effectively. 'Just checking up on y'all, wanna make sure you're not buried alive! Oh, and make sure ya come into work tomorrow!'

In light of this new information, John Doe was diagnosed with a coma, to be kept under observation by London Bridge Hospital. The coma continued until February 15th 2018 when, six whole months after the explosion, he regained all vital activity and woke up. He was discharged later that same day. With that established, let's get into the theories.

Our first theory comes from Dr Samuel Huang, a professor in neurology at University College London. According to Dr Huang, he heard of John Doe's condition through the grapevine and conducted a study for the duration of his stay at London Bridge. Dr Huang claims that there is no possible way John Doe could have survived in that state. He claims that the discharge never actually happened, citing the lack of credible discharge papers as well as the fact that the brain scan was never repeated at the request of Doe's next of kin - who just so happened to be Elias Bouchard.

SHANE MADEJ: Wait, so you're telling me that this guy is not only Timmy's boss but Johnny Doe's son?

RYAN BERGARA: His next of kin, yeah. But it gets worse.

Shortly after making this request, Bouchard was arrested for the murder of Jurgen Leitner, which had occurred in February earlier that year.

SHANE MADEJ: WHAT?

RYAN BERGARA: HAHAHAHAHAHA

SHANE MADEJ: You know what, it isn't really that relevant. People kill people all the time and get arrested for it all the time without spooky happenings or whatever. Let's move on.

As a result, Dr Huang believes that John Doe is dead and has been dead since August 2017, and that Bouchard lied about Doe's survival for his own personal gain.

SHANE MADEJ: I like this theory.

RYAN BERGARA: But you have to admit it's kinda weird, right? Like, why would you wanna pass off some - some random dead guy who may or may not be your son as alive?

SHANE MADEJ: ...Money?

RYAN BERGARA: How - I mean - Could -

SHANE MADEJ: Look, I don't know, Ryan. If you show me something more plausible - sure, I'll believe it - but for now we have a literal doctor from a literal university who says that there is no way this guy can be alive and that his shady dad probably fabricated it all so I'm just gonna go with his explanation.

However, many in the academic community have questioned Dr Huang's conclusions by pointing out that the body showed little signs of decay despite negative vital signs over the six months, and even that Doe's hair had grown from his jaw past his shoulders.

SHANE MADEJ: What - where - his hair grew?!?

RYAN BERGARA: I know!

Our second theory comes from Dr Lionel Elliott of King's College London along with Naomi Herne, Tessa Winters, and Karolina Górka. All four individuals, at some point, had made a statement about their encounters with the paranormal to the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching such instances.

SHANE MADEJ: Why is it always the fucking Magnus Institute?

RYAN BERGARA: Because there's supernatural shit in this story! And that's what they study! Do you believe me now?

SHANE MADEJ: ...It could still be a coincidence.

RYAN BERGARA: Seriously?

SHANE MADEJ: Wait, nevermind - the Magnus Institute Director or whatever faking all of this makes so much sense now!

RYAN BERGARA: I can't with you.

After their experiences at the Magnus Institute, all four report experiencing nightmares about their respective statements, with one notable addition: a man in the corner of their dreams covered with eyes, all of them watching as they lived out their trauma again and again. However, from August 2017, Herne and Winters both report that the quote-unquote 'eyeball man' started talking to them. Their description of the 'eyeball man' - short, heavily scarred, dark-skinned with mid-length, greying hair - matches up perfectly with our John Doe.

SHANE MADEJ: Mass hysteria.

RYAN BERGARA: <wheeze> What, a literal doctor from a literal university isn't enough for you now?

SHANE MADEJ: First of all, that literal doctor is apparently the kind of literal doctor to go to an organisation studying the supernatural in the first place. Second of all - there is absolutely no way that all four could dream of the exact same made-up person without some kind of mass hysteria.

RYAN BERGARA: No - you see, that's where you're wrong because it's been more than a year for each of them - two years for Naomi Herne - since they made their statements at the Magnus Institute. There's just no way that any kind of mass hysteria could go on for that long.

SHANE MADEJ: <sigh> I don't buy it.

Together, all four have posited the theory that John Doe is an inhuman being whose body does not work the way ours do. This would explain not only the abnormal vitals and nightmares but also why the hospital would be so eager to let a patient who was in a coma leave so early.

SHANE MADEJ: <wheeze>

RYAN BERGARA: No, no, seriously! Think about it! You have this dude, right, who's obviously got some kind of supernatural bullshit going on, and you've seen enough horror movies to know that this is when you leave, so you just - you just discharge him! Nothing wrong with that!

SHANE MADEJ: Even so, someone must have noticed, right? You don't just - You don't just have this dude rock up with no vital signs and - wait, did this guy shit?

RYAN BERGARA: <wheeze> What?

SHANE MADEJ: Well, if he didn't, I have a new theory for you.

RYAN BERGARA: I mean... I don't know? Dr Huang's preliminary report and the corresponding notes that got leaked didn't say and there weren't many other sources I could find, so...

SHANE MADEJ: It's free real estate. Okay! Theory time! <deep voice> Our third theory comes from Shane Madej, corporate slave to Buzzfeed, who posits that if the man did not defecate at all during his coma, he was a skinsuit.

RYAN BERGARA: <wheeze> A skinsuit?

SHANE MADEJ: <normal voice> Yeah, a skinsuit filled with - with spiders or something. Like the dolls!

RYAN BERGARA: Oh my god! Like the dolls! Do you think ole Johnny-boy has ever been to Mexico?

SHANE MADEJ: I feel like he'd totally vibe with that place. I wanna take him. I wanna meet him and go like 'Hey, Johnny Doughboy! Wanna come look at some spiders?' and he'd go 'Yeah totally!' and we'd have a - have grand old time together.

Our final theory comes from John Doe himself.

SHANE MADEJ: Wait, what? Twist!

When signing the forms for his discharge, John Doe left a note on the 'Cause of Stay' section. The note reads: 'Curse courtesy of the Eye and Web, broken by Antonio Blake.' Curiously, a man by the name of Antonio Blake did, in fact, check in to see John Doe for half an hour on the day he woke up; he was described by the nurse on duty as 'shifty'.

SHANE MADEJ: I like this guy.

RYAN BERGARA: Who, Antonio Shifty?

SHANE MADEJ: No, Johnny-boy! The man just woke up from a coma and he leaves a cryptic note to fuck with guys like us just as he walks out the door. I aspire to that level of - of pure pettiness.

RYAN BERGARA: You're not - you're not gonna mention what the Eye or Web could mean? Especially since, y'know, one of our previous theories mentions a man covered head to toe in eyeballs?

SHANE MADEJ: Nope.

RYAN BERGARA: <wheeze>

While the unexplainable six-month coma of a John Doe who should not have survived may have a perfectly normal explanation, it is clear to me and many others that something outside of the realm of science had to have been involved in order for him to still be alive today. Whether this something is grounded in reality or of a different one altogether will remain... unsolved.

RYAN BERGARA: So... what's the verdict?

SHANE MADEJ: On what?

RYAN BERGARA: Is it - you know - the 'greatest medical-'

SHANE MADEJ: Oh, no. Absolutely not.

RYAN BERGARA: What - buh - he literally - Get back here!

8,823 Comments

What The Ghost (PINNED)
Great video as always! Though, I am a little surprised to see this particular case covered... ;)

ChampionTie
UMMMM EXCUSE ME MS GEORGIE BARKER MA'AM WHAT INFORMATION DO YOU POSSESS

Iris Spencer
omg hiiiiiii asdfhasj i can't believe wtg and bfu r friends when collab

sootysoles
Hello!

Kelanie Ming
honestly me too. this definitely qualifies for Weird and bfu is pretty respected so

DenimDennis
bro neither of them mentioned the cult XD

cubecube
the WHAT

DenimDennis
@cubecube there was a cult there doing some ritual or other, apparently they were spooooky so that's why tmi was involved

DataIssue
i have. so many questions-

MathewBayntonIsMaWaifu
another day another facepalm as ryan bergara pronounces great yarmouth as great yar-mowth

Motorema
I'm just? surprised?? that they didn't talk about the magnus institute more?????? the nightmare theory mentioned it and the owner of it literally paid for the coma guy's room!!!

Wendy Nakamura
They're probably afraid to touch it with a ten-foot pole, what with the legal issues.

Motorema
@Wendy Nakamura what legal issues

Wendy Nakamura
@Motorema Let's just say that someone tried to sue them and someone found out that no lawyer in London would take it on.

Kelanie Ming
this is just. so funny. you have no idea how much this has me laughing. john doe indeed.

John Doe
Guys, the Eye and Web are Gods of the pantheon my cult worships. Both of them hate me so I'm not allowed to die until I'm deemed 'fit enough' for their respective afterlives.

Operetta Opera
Literally stop. It's not funny to impersonate an actual, real life person on the Internet.

Kelanie Ming
@Operetta Opera no no i think they're onto something

Banjoooo
Omg i had Elliott for my class lol he's sooooo transphobic,,,, Disgusting i want him Cancelled by dawn... but i still believe him lol boogaras unite!!

Fae-Touched
JOHN DOE? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JOHN DOE GOD DAMN FOOL NO-PULSE NO-LUNGS YES-BRAIN DISGUSTING RAT BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING J O H N D O E

YOUTUBE STOP RECOMMENDING MORE VIDEOS ABOUT JOHN DOE I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE A FUCKED-UP BRAIN WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST DIE PLEASE ISHE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL EFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MAN'S FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLD'S SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said john was waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with john doe being unmasked and speaking one word on this website not only will i throw my phone out the window i will throw myself out as well and have to stay off youtube for years for the sole reason of avoiding any mention of him online

i don't even know why i hate him so much mans just wanted to live but i am mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some bored immortal whos a fan of being famous ill go ham

BETTER have been experimented on because if he wasn't i'll do it myself

paypal.com/IFuckingHateJohnDoe

i did this to myself. i clicked on this video and now i am going Fucking Crazy

but where the fuck is john doe if he's still alive im going to deeply wish he wasn't

crusty old man

ill punch doe and his sad post coma twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all that is left is an eyeball that glares at him in That Way so he Knows he's fucked up

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope we get to know when john doe dies so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay my respects to the man who destroyed the laws of FUCKING LIVING HOW DO YOU DO THAT

69 funny number hehe
bro u ok

Fae-Touched
@69 funny number hehe im paying 10k a year to study biology no of course im not ok

'Fuck.'

'Y'know, this wouldn't have happened if you just let me kill you the first time around.'

Jon hums in agreement, taking a moment to scroll down the comments. He pauses.

'Is that Melanie?'

Daisy falls off the desk cackling.