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Part 19 of *SolarBalls (2022)* Crossover Multiverse
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Published:
2025-03-16
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2,052
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He’s Never Coming Back

Summary:

A certain comatose planet is rescued, but his fate is terminal.

[SET AFTER “The Earth Is Leaving? (Part 3)” in a PARALLEL REALITY!]

Notes:

[[ABSENT FROM STORY]]:
• Neptune
• Other Solar System Dwarf Planets + Their Moons

[[ALL CANON DIALOGUES & SCENES BELONG to the WRITERS & CREATORS of *SolarBalls (2022)*!!]]

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

ALTERNATE *SOLARBALLS (2022)* UNIVERSE 152EARTHDIES818

MARCH 2007AZ:

Mars, Luna, and Saturn resumed following AstroDude through the Kuiper Belt, deciding whether or not to split up and find Earth separately since they could no longer navigate where he was using Earthling technology.

“We could do that,” the red planet suggested. “Saturn, you and AstroDude continue heading straight forward. Meanwhile, Luna will search left and I’ll go right. If we scour the entire Kuiper Belt area, we should be able to pinpoint his location faster.”

“Good idea,” the astronaut agreed. “Let’s do it! Computer, reignite the engines.”

The monitor obeyed his orders and restarted the vehicle.

“We’ll see you later!” Saturn exclaimed as they took off immediately.

In the meantime, Luna frowned sadly, which Mars noticed.

“You okay?” the planet asked.

The Moon sighed. “Not really. If Earth stays out there any longer, he’ll…”

“It won’t happen. Trust me, we’ll find him,” Ares promised.

“And if we don’t?” the satellite feared.

“We can’t think like that. We gotta have faith, Luna,” Mars reminded him.

“That’s kinda hard right now…” his friend mumbled.

“Come on…we gotta split up.” Ares pointed left. “You head that way and I’ll — ”

“Go the other way,” Luna understood. “So I’ll just…yeah.”

With that, both celestial objects maneuvered in opposite directions, perpendicular to Saturn and AstroDude’s trajectory.

And speaking of the duo…

“Do you see him?” the human questioned hopefully.

“No—not yet,” Cronus admitted. “You?”

“Unfortunately, I can’t track anything right now. Nothing’s working except for the ship’s engines,” AstroDude informed him. “But we have to keep going.”

“I agree,” Saturn said. “Let’s keep a lookout.”

The Earthling nodded. “Yep.”

Seven minutes later, they spotted an ocean blue blob facing away from them while moving. This object seemed to have a prominent oxygen and nitrogen atmosphere while their surface was covered in watery ice.

“I—I see him!” AstroDude gasped. “That’s Earth!”

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s catch up to him!” Saturn said hastily.

Once they reached Terra, the astronaut cupped his mouth while the ringed giant’s lower jaw quivered, tears forming in his eyes.

“E-Earth? Oh my god! I-Is he…?” Cronus choked out.

“Computer, scan him now,” AstroDude commanded.

“Of course,” she replied, displaying Earth’s medical results. “It appears our planet has been in a comatose state for the past four hours. If we do not return him to his orbit, Earth will die very soon.”

“F-Four hours??” Saturn panicked.

AstroDude peered closer as his breathing quickened. “Wait…w-where are the communication satellites? Is that why I’m not able to contact my wife?”

“You are correct. Thirty-five minutes ago, the last two satellites crashed onto Earth’s surface, possibly killing hundreds of microscopic organisms under his crust. However, no humans have been harmed by this event,” the computer analyzed its own data.

Turning to Cronus, AstroDude said, “Saturn, can you use your gravity to pull him back to his orbit?”

“I…I can try, but it won’t be easy,” the planet responded, finding it difficult to hold back tears.

“It doesn’t matter. W-We gotta hurry. Please…” the astronaut begged.

Saturn nodded fervently. “Okay.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, mustering his maximum gravitational strength to turn Earth 180 degrees and push him in the opposite direction. Thankfully it was successful as Saturn whipped in front of his younger brother, facing the Inner Solar System as Cronus grunted loudly, pulling Terra with extra force.

On the other hand, Mars and Luna had no luck finding their target and solemnly reunited at the exact same spot where they split in groups. Then they saw Saturn and AstroDude returning to them with a frozen comatose Earth. The duo frantically asked what happened as the others summarized the important details.

After crossing the Asteroid Belt again, Luna burst into tears of guilt and fear while Mars was dangerously close, trying to distract himself by comforting his distraught friend. Saturn cried silently and AstroDude struggled to maintain his own composure for the sake of everyone else. It was clear they were worried sick about Earth’s fate, some blaming themselves for dismissing his declining mental state.

Truth to be told—Venus had already informed the Sun of the planets’ mysterious disappearance, causing the latter to go on a solar flare rampage. Mercury fled to his orbit while his neighbour heard distant voices talking amongst themselves.

What the…??

He pivoted 180 degrees and saw…a tearful Saturn moving Earth to his designated orbit. On his right, Luna was weeping heavily while Mars and AstroDude wore sorrowful scowls. Inhaling deeply, Venus quickly ordered Sol to ‘get himself together and turn the fuck around’, which he surprisingly did. The Sun demanded to know what the fuck was going on, leading to a brief explanation from Mars and the Earthling.

Eight minutes later…

“PLANETARY MOONS! GATHER AROUND! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!!” the yellow dwarf bellowed.

They paused their Moon Club meeting and sprinted towards him, screeching to a halt near Terra’s orbit. Some moons gasped in horror while others released terrified shrieks.

“SILENCE!!” Sol shouted before calming down a little. “Miranda, you’re a trained medic. Check his vitals now!”

“On it,” she obeyed, rushing to the unconscious individual while whipping out her stethoscope and VS monitor.

Suddenly white foam escaped from Earth’s mouth as he experienced severe myoclonic jerks, indicating a deadly seizure. Everyone else read the screen, which displayed an erratic heartbeat and rapid beeping. Miranda brought out her handy defibrillator and carefully connected it to Terra’s core without hurting any of his lifeforms.

Luna folded his hands together, still crying. “Please please please…”

The Uranian moon pressed the button and yelled ‘CLEAR!’ a few times, but to no avail. The monitor instantly flatlined, confirming Earth’s…

“T-Time of death…8:43pm Pacific Time,” Miranda revealed, her expression somber and guilt-ridden for not being able to save him on time.

Mars wept openly, Venus blinked back tears and cursed the universe for taking his brother away, Sol’s eyes twitched like crazy, most moons burst into tears, some refused to speak, while Mercury finally arrived at the scene wondering what all the commotion was about. His planetary neighbour felt like pelting him with asteroids for saying that, but it wasn’t the right time.

Initially the smallest planet was confused…until he spotted Luna sobbing hysterically, blurting out tearful apologies to his planet while begging Earth to come back.

Oh…oh no

Mercury’s pupils shrunk, slowly backing away. He couldn’t deal with this. Not now…not today…not ever. This had to be a prank. Earth was just fooling around. He had to be! Right…? This wasn’t real. Terra wasn’t—he wasn’t dead. Earth couldn’t just be gone in a split second. That was downright cruel.

“He’s not dead. He’s just sleeping…” Hermes muttered to himself, unaware that saltwater was flowing down his own cheeks.

This is my fault. The last thing I did was push him away. I reduced his suicide attempt to a fucking stunt. What the hell is wrong with me?! Why did I say that? And now I’ll never get to apologize for my shitty behavior. Earth is dead because of me

Eventually, the saddened astronaut regained contact with NASA and Houston, figuring it was time to go home. Even though Earth had lost his own life, his Earthlings miraculously survived including AstroDude’s family and human friends.

Thank god

On the way back, water streamed down his face as he recalled his developing kinship with the habitable planet. They had their ups and downs, but the astronaut would miss him terribly. Terra wasn’t just a planet—he was a person too, and AstroDude should’ve acknowledged that sooner.

But it’s too late…and he’s never coming back.


Elsewhere, Jupiter and Pluto exited the Kuiper Belt five seconds ago before the gas giant managed to speed up, pulling the dwarf planet next to him with his immense gravity. After crossing the Scattered Disc, normally it would take a while to reach the Oort Cloud, but Zeus was determined to go faster (which he did). And soon, they spotted a distant cyan planet a few AUs ahead of them.

“Oh thank goodness. We found him,” Jupiter exhaled in relief. “He’s pretty close, so let’s move.”

“Yes siree!” Pluto beamed as he followed him.

All of a sudden, Caelus sensed two objects approaching him at an exponential rate. Turning around, he gasped softly and scowled irritably once he identified who they were.

“Oh great. Just what I needed…” he grumbled.

“H-Hey there,” Pluto greeted him nervously. “Long time no see, eh?”

“It’s only been a few hours, Hades,” Uranus deadpanned before his voice rose angrily. “And I can’t believe you brought him out of all people!”

Jupiter flinched at his hostile tone and opened his mouth to respond. “Listen…Uranus, I am so sorry for lyin’ to you about — ”

“For the last time…IT’S CAELUS!!” the ice giant shrieked, earning yelps from the pair. Then he huffed loudly and lowered his volume. “Is that so hard to understand?! Or have you lost IQ points since you were banished?!”

“C’mon Caelus…don’t insult him. I think he’s been punished enough,” an eerily familiar voice startled them.

Turns out, it was a midnight-colored ice giant whose diameter was slightly larger than Uranus. He was accompanied by an brown oblate asteroid splattered in glowing blue ink, akin to —

“Wait…Guillermo??” Pluto exclaimed in surprise.

Planet X??” Jupiter and Caelus blurted out simultaneously.

“Hey guys,” he said awkwardly. “How’s uh…how’s it going?”

Uranus flew up to him with bulging eyes. “X, where have you been?? And why the hell did you leave??”

“I…it’s a long story. I—I needed some time to myself, so…” Planet X trailed off.

The younger ice giant scoffed. “Look, just ‘cause Proteus guilt-tripped you into — ”

“He didn’t make me do anything, Caelus,” the rogue planet emphasized sharply. “Frankly, he was right about me. I went too far and hurt a lot of innocent people in the process just ‘cause I was blinded by anger and hatred for billions of years.”

“But the gas giants threw you out!” Uranus argued. “You had every right to get back at them!”

Planet X was fed up at this point, but at the same time he knew this was his own fault. It was his manipulation that caused Caelus to transform from a slightly insecure yet kindhearted individual to someone nearly unrecognizable—a person who was careless and spiteful.

The navy blue planet shook his head. “No Caelus…the Grand Tack was an accident. I didn’t realize it until recently, but…it’s true.”

Jupiter was shocked. “I—I didn’t tell you that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Planet X smiled gently. “Let’s just say it took a bit of self-reflection and recovered memories to get there.”

“I-I dunno what to say,” Zeus stammered. “Wait—what d’you mean by recovered memories?”

“Turns out, I do have a name after all. It’s Erebus, just so you know. Nice to meet you again, I guess,” the ice giant chuckled sadly. “And um…I had moons too, but they um…” He blinked back tears. “They died in my Roche Limit ‘cause my gravity pulled them in. I couldn’t do anything about it…”

“I…I’m so sorry to hear that,” Pluto sympathized.

“When—when did this happen?” Jupiter asked worriedly.

X swallowed thickly. “Two billion years ago.”

Zeus exhaled shakily. “Th-That’s when the submoons died too…”

The navy blue planet turned a few degrees. “Listen Caelus…before I left, Jupiter and I talked it out and—we’re good now. Those doors are closed. It’s over,” he assured him.

Uranus instantly faced the gas giant. “So…you were telling the truth?”

Zeus nodded in confirmation as Caelus ducked his head in shame, apologizing profoundly for his terrible behavior. Luckily Jupiter forgave him and was willing to respect his new name from now on (Pluto as well). Then Uranus agreed to return home, encouraging Planet X to do the same. He revealed he would in any case since the ETNOs relied on his gravitational presence.

“Come on guys…let’s go home,” the gas giant smiled warmly.

And so the quartet headed back, expecting a chaotic yet relatively stable family reunion. But little did they know…they would all feel an unbearable amount of grief and pain.

Notes:

[[AFTERMATH & OTHER INFO]]:
• Uranus & Planet X APOLOGIZE to Neptune AND the moons for their past behavior!
• Neptune and the others FIND OUT what happened to Earth!
• EVERYONE already knows about Earth’s suicide attempt (INCLUDING Planet X), so their reactions are definitely heartbreaking! 😭
• Even though EARTH died, his Earthlings are ALIVE! 😓

[[ALL CANON DIALOGUES & SCENES BELONG to the WRITERS & CREATORS of *SolarBalls (2022)*!!]]