Archive of Our Own ^beta

Melshi knew Cassian wasn‘t a good swimmer. It was not a skill needed often in an intergalactic fight against the Empire that mostly took place on starships and bases built from concrete and steel, and even less so in Cassian’s intelligence work. You only needed to hold your head above the water in the metaphorical sense when playing the entitled entourage to some senator’s party or breaking into the flat of high-ranking officers, spiking their drinks and be gone before they became aware of the spy’s presence.

It wasn’t even that he couldn’t swim at all, Melshi knew he could, ever since they swam for hours next to each other from the prison platform on Narkina 5 to the saving shore. But he also remembered Cassian being exhausted after just the first few hundred meters, his erratic movements that betrayed his panic at the all-surrounding water. How he finally couldn’t keep up anymore and the terrible moment when Melshi had turned around and saw him swallowing a lungful of water as his limbs gave out.

Melshi was a good swimmer, always had been and even the years spent in prison couldn’t take that away from him. He swam for both of them, dragging Cassian behind him, telling him to keep still and just let his body float whenever he swung his arms and legs in a futile attempt to hold himself above the dark water again. Cassian had insisted on swimming by himself again when he had rested enough to will his body into purposeful movements again, but Melshi had stayed close by his side. Watching the ungraceful kicks of Cassian’s legs and arms for signs of deadly exhaustion. The last kilometre it was him again who did the swimming for them both, Cassian not even having enough energy left to protest.

When they felt the coarse sand hitting their knees, Cassian had let go of Melshi, pushing him down in an attempt to launch himself forward, dragging himself to shore faster than Melshi thought possible in his exhausted state, crawled onto the dry ground on his hands and knees and vomited the meagre meal of prison mush onto the back of his hand, muscles convulsing. Melshi dropped to his knees next to him, panting heavily and sucking in the fresh air. “We-“, Cassian had tried to say, spitting out more seawater, “need to- go.” He had used his uniform and sand to clean off his hand, then staggered to his feet and pulled Melshi up as well, and started running, leading the way.

Melshi’s team of Pathfinders had been assigned as back-up for Cassian and Cinta to the break-in into the private mansion of an imperial engineer. He knew Cassian could handle himself and with Cinta by his side there shouldn’t be a lot that could go wrong. But then the rain had started and hadn’t died down for days, turning the shallow flow of water the lavish house was built over into a raging river. Still, the plan didn’t involve that kind of exit. If everything went according to plan, the two operatives should be able to leave the way they had come, through the exit the staff used.

Of course things didn’t go as planned. Three minutes after Cinta broke radio silence to tell them they had obtained the data they needed, the layout for a weapon factory in the Ryloth system, she commed them again to let them know that things had gone sideways.

Melshi didn’t quite get what was going on, only that imperial presence had shown up after all and the owner of the house himself had dropped by unexpectedly, his meeting off-world apparently ending sooner than expected. And he had made out Cassian and Cinta as imposters to his staff within seconds. The man was more perceptive than Melshi would have thought of a man in his position.

 “Why didn’t we notice his ship coming?” he snapped angrily at Karis, the woman on the comms. “Rain is disturbing our long-distance communication, the frequency with Andor and Kaz is the only one still working.”

After that, there was chaos. The Pathfinders went out to create an escape opportunity for the operatives, steering their shuttle near the house, blaster fire visible as green bolts through the darkness and the pouring rain. “We’re at extraction point three, you need backup in there?” Melshi pressed his earpiece harder into his ear-shell to listen to the answer over the heavy rain. There wasn’t any. “I repeat, do you need backup?” he asked again, impatiently, already preparing to send his men out.

“Agent auresh initiated distraction, I’m on my way,” said Cinta, her voice sounding as if she was running, “I have the files, we get auresh at extraction point 5.”

A quick glance at the great glass windows of the house confirmed that Cassian was using himself as distraction, apparently pulling all the fire on him and making his way through the narrow corridors of the mansion. How he wanted to make it to the extraction point like this was a mystery to Melshi.

“ Auresh , what’s the plan?” he trusted Cassian but also knew his self-sacrificing and reckless tendencies when it came to keeping his team safe.

“Finding a way as I go, don’t worry,” Cassian said over the comms, the moment Cinta jogged up the ramp to their waiting shuttle. “Agent cresh on board, get out of there!” he snapped, not sure if he was angry or worried out of his mind, probably both. He could see the chase inside proceeding to the higher levels. “Cass, you can’t get down from there!” he snapped over the comm, “We’re coming in -“

“No!” Cassian cut him off, and Melshi was pretty sure he could hear the hiss of an energy bolt over the comms. It must be incredibly close to Cassian’s face for the comms to pick it up. A short, aborted cry of pain confirmed just how close. The rest of his team looked at him expectantly, blasters already drawn.

“We’re not leaving you.”

“I’m going through the window, just need to take my chance.”

All blood drained from Melshi’s face. That idiot was going to jump into the water, from the fourth floor. Into the raging river carrying loose tree chunks, ripped from the shores upriver, and a current way too strong for even an experienced swimmer. “Cass, no! You will-“

“Extraction point 5,” Cassian repeated, cutting off any protest at his stupid plan, “I’m gonna take my chance.”

Melshi stormed out of the shuttle, just in time to see a dark figure launching itself from the top floor, breaking the glass window on its way out. Cassian hit the water and Melshi couldn’t make him out anymore through the rain. What he could make out was the blaster fire that still rained down at the rebel from the broken window.

The comm was a thundering cacophony of rain and crushing waves, muted whenever Cassian’s head was under water. Still, Melshi could make out a sharp cry of pain.

“I’m gonna get him,” he told his team, quickly taking off his vest and activating the sender on his belt, “Get the files out and come find us, I’m leaving the signal on.” He stormed out before anyone could protest. It was probably stupid, endangering the mission. But all he could think of was Cassian drowning on Narkina and he kept running.

“Cass!” he shouted over the rain, both for the comm and his friend, should he be able to hear him without it. The wind was punching into his face, his clothes already drenched from the rain. “Cass! Where are you?!”

“-een- been hi-t,”  Melshi could barely hear him, the rest of the sentence was cut off by crushing waves. The blaster fire from the window had stopped, the troopers returning into the house to look for other intruders.

“Hold on to something!” he shouted again, running down the shore of the river, looking out for a head of dark brown hair amid the black water. It was a futile effort. He kept running, shouting all the time, but he couldn’t even hear his own voice over the thundering rain. 

He was losing time. Two minutes since he had heard Cassian’s voice last.  Melshi knew that if he went under water, he was already too late and would probably never find him. He pushed the thought down and kept running.

His hope was evaporating and he was pretty sure that hot, angry tears mingled with the cold rain water running down his cheeks. “Cass!” he shouted again and again over the river that swallowed up every word, “Please, Cass! Cassian!”

Then- something light amid the darkness. A face, halfway underwater, wet dark hair draped over it. Melshi felt his knees go weak for a moment, then he lunged into the river, fighting against the current to get to Cassian’s limp form.

A tree had fallen over the river, drabbed diagonally over it, with its branches hanging into the water. Cassian had managed to hold on to them before passing out. Or he had been lucky and got stuck there, Melshi didn’t care. His friend was right in front of him, face halfway under water, but at least he had found him. He was carried by the current more than he swam himself, grabbing the tree above him as he passed it and pulled himself towards the middle of the river.

“Cass!” he knew it was futile speaking, Cassian was clearly passed out. Hooking one arm around a strong branch, he used his other hand to lift the man’s head from the water, his feet kicking against the water that threatened to drag him away. “Fuck, breath!”

Cassian didn’t. Eyes closed, he was completely still in Melshi’s arm. Melshi cursed and pried Cassian’s form from the branches, confirming that it had been pure dumb luck that had saved him. He had passed out before. Thanking whatever instance had been responsible for this shred of good luck, Melshi hooked an arm around Cassian’s chest and pulled himself back on the tree towards the shore. Swimming would be impossible, even without Cassian being dead-weight.

Melshi let out a happy cry when his feet hit stones, allowing him to carry them both on shore more easily. His limbs were trembling from exhaustion and he had no energy or time to carry Cassian in any gentle way, instead dragging him over the stones by his arms, just careful enough that his head didn’t hit anything.

As soon as he had solid ground under his feet again, he let Cassian down on his back, dropped to his knees next to him and started pressing down on his chest with both hands, again and again, using his full body-weight. He probably cracked Cassian’s sternum with the force of his chest compression. “Come on, come on,” he muttered, “don’t leave me now, not like this, come on!”

Cassian’s form was still limp, moving only from the heavy pressure on his chest. His shoulder was bleeding sluggishly as Melshi noticed now, probably the blaster that had hit him in the water and his left cheek was burnt.

Pinching Cassian’s nose shut and tilting his head way back, Melshi pressed his mouth onto Cassian’s, breathing for him. He pulled back, watching Cassian’s chest for any sign of movement. When there wasn’t any, he sealed their mouths again, then started chest compression again when there was no response. “Come- on- don’t- go- like- this-“

Cassian’s head only weakly swung from one side to the other from the compressions, his face relaxed in the uncanny way Melshi ever saw it when he was completely gone. “Fuck- you-, not - like - this -“

He pressed their mouths together again, trying to breathe any life back into Cassian. It came back at him, tasting stale and dead. The cold desperation that threatened to overcome him was quickly overturned by a blinding rage. He wouldn’t lose Cassian again, not now, not like this. They had been fighting side by side for too long for this to be the end. He made his hand into a fist and flung it at Cassian’s chest. Something cracked, but Melshi couldn’t even feel bad about it because at that moment Cassian’s eyes flew open.

His chest heaved, trying to suck in air with a painful sounding gasp. Melshi rolled Cassian on his side fast and ungently and a swall of water hit the wet soil as Cassian’s lung pushed it out to make room for oxygen instead. He coughed, sucked in air greedily while Melshi held his shoulder and a hand on his back to steady him.

Another splash of dirty river water hit the floor before Cassian pushed against Melshis' hold and fell on his back again, eyes wide and staring into the dark sky. Melshi reached for him, cradling Cassian’s face in one hand and pushing wet hair from his face with the other.

“Mel - shi?” Cassian reached for Melshi’s wrist, wrapping his hand around it as if to anchor himself.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Melshi leaned forward to shield Cassian from the still pouring rain with his body. “Don’t talk, just breath” 

Cassian did, but way too fast, panic in his eyes. Melshi took the other man’s hand and placed it on his own chest, taking deep and controlled breaths. “Like this,” his chest moved up, taking Cassian’s hand with it. “Slow down, in and out”

Cassian closed his eyes and Melshi noticed the frown had returned upon waking. His chest moved with carefully controlled breaths now. “That’s it, just keep breathing for me.” Cassian’s body relaxed, only to go into violent trembling right after.

Cursing under his breath, Melshi looked around the shore they had been swept upon. It was a few hundred meters down the river from the mansion, a forest stretching on both sides of it. Melshi was well aware that they needed to move before the troopers came looking for them, and Cassian needed some place warm to stay. Not that there was any in this godforsaken rain.

Melshi checked his signal, thankfully it was still sending. His comms were another problem though, when he tried to reach his team he was only met with static, the heavy storm still disabling their communication.

“We need to find someplace to hide,” Melshi said and Cassian nodded, “How are you? Any injuries besides face and shoulder?” Not that this wouldn’t be enough already. Melshi had seen that the shot hadn’t pierced the shoulder, still it was steadily leaking blood.

“Head,” Cassian mumbled, opening his eyes and gesturing weakly, “Something hit me in the water. I passed out after.”

“You think you can move?” Melshi asked, shrugging his shirt off, scrunching it up and pressing it against Cassian’s shoulder. He winced. Melshi hummed an apology and led Cassian’s hand to press the makeshift bandage down.

“I don’t know. I think so,” Melshi carefully turned Cassian’s head to its side and touched the wet hair with the tips of his fingers, feeling for the injury there. He couldn’t make out any blood on the dark and wet hair, but his fingertips felt something entirely too warm. Trying to feel out how big the wound was, there was definitely too much warmth there for his taste.

Lacking other options, he cut off the sleeve of his long shirt he had worn as a second layer, wrapping it around Cassian’s head where he suspected the worst injury to be. Bleeding shoulder, head injury and both of them likely to suffer from freezing cold in the next minutes. Not the best odds.

“Okay, come on then,” standing up, he pulled Cassian with him. Cassian grunted in pain but stubbornly tried to take a few steps before swaying and collapsing to Melshi’s side, his arm over Melshi’s shoulder the only thing keeping him from dropping to the ground.

Cassian let out a sharp hiss of pain as his shoulder was jostled and Melshi let them both down to their knees. “Here, come on, I’ll carry you,”he offered, looking expectantly back over his shoulder to Cassian. Of course, the stubborn bastard wouldn’t take the offer. 

“I’m too heavy, give me a second, I can walk.”

“Don’t give me that shit, Andor. I have been sitting in the shuttle all day doing nothing and can very well carry your scrawny arse. Now get over here, I’m not letting you die because of your pride after pulling you from that fucking river.”

“God, you’re bossy,” Cassian mumbled but slung his uninjured arm around Melshi’s chest and letting Melshi hook his hands under his tights to lift him on his back, “You like my scrawny arse, you always come back for it.”

Melshi felt heat rise up his cheeks. He fastened his grip on Cassian and stood up, crouching over slightly so that Cassian could lean his chest against his back without having to hold his weight and balance on his own. Cassian’s head dropped forward on his shoulder, and Meshi could swear to feel him smiling slightly against the side of his neck.

“Can’t help it. Try to stay awake, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Cassian mumbled, the words blurring together. “What about the files? Did Cinta get back?”

“Yeah, she got back and the files should be in the Alliance hand’s about now,” Melshi took the first steps towards the trees, careful where to step on the slippery ground and holding his balance in the howling storm trashing against his body. Cassian’s form felt too limp against his back. “Don’t ever pull such a stunt again under my watch, you hear me?”

Cassian murmured something unintelligible against Melshi’s shoulder. 

“What?”

“Too risky, - was the better option.”

“You would have drowned, Cass. Next time just wait for me, we were going to get you.”

“Thought. I could. Manage -“

Cassian trailed off and Melshi pinched his tight through the wet trousers to wake him up again. “Stay awake, Andor. Help is coming,” Or so he hoped.

“Tell me something,” he asked, stepping over a root with a too wide step that let Cassian slump hard against him. Cassian gave a questioning hum. “Anything, I just need you talking. Tell me about that droid you’re working on?”

It was something he had heard before, Cassian had told him about it when Melshi couldn’t sleep, stroking his fingers along his scalp in comforting circles until he drifted off.

He asked questions occasionally when he couldn’t understand Cassian’s words anymore, all the while searching for some form of shelter. Cassian mumbled something about connecting circuits in a specific way to override an implemented imperative, a part Melshi actually hadn’t heard before but couldn’t quite follow either, that he came across a cave, barely more than a small cover. Deciding it was probably the best he would find in the dark, he steered towards it.

Cassian had fallen asleep again, waking up only halfway when Melshi set him down, leaning him against the stone at the back of the cave. It was almost completely dark now, the only weak light coming from the signal that blinked once in a while, confirming that it was still sending his position to the Alliance. It wasn’t enough to see anything.

The rain was still coming down hard outside, thundering and echoing back from the stone walls, but at least they were in a dry place for once. Melshi could hear Cassian’s teeth click together, though. He felt for Cassian’s hands, they had both fallen down into his lap. Melshi picked the soaked through shirt up again, feeling for the bleeding shoulder in the dark and pressing it against the wound again. Cassian let out a groan.

Melshi was about to apologize again, when his comm cracked. “-er me? Re-peat,- can- me?” An relieved gasp escaped him when he reached for it. “This is Kaz, - you copy?”

“Yes! Yes, I hear you, this is Melshi, I got Andor.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the transmission, but the crack sounded suspiciously like a sigh of relief. Cinta would deny such an accusation though. “We can’t get y -. Storm too heavy. Pick-up approximately 3 hours. Are- you safe?”

Melshi turned towards Cassian and his bloody shoulder, although he couldn’t see either in the darkness, but his hand there felt warmer than it should, blood already seeping through the fabric again. “Found shelter, Andor is wounded. Potentially critical.”

“We can pick you up as soon as the storm eases, what’s the situation?”

“Head injury, bleeding shoulder and probably hypothermia.”

Cinta was too professional to curse, but someone behind her let out a string of words in a language Melshi couldn’t place but the intention was conveyed, nonetheless.

“Keep him warm,”- was that not just a great idea- “Any chance to cauterize the wound?”

“You do realize that we’re both completely soaked?”

“Does your blaster work?” someone asked, the voice that had let out the curses.

Melshi didn’t like where this was going. “Yes?”

“You can overhead it. Fire a round and use the barrel to seal the wound. It won’t be pretty but at least he won’t bleed out until we can get to you.”

“You can’t be serious-“

“Any better idea? You can wait of course and see for yourself…”

“He will get an infection from that -“

“He probably already has one if you pulled him from the river. We can treat that, but bringing him back when he’s just a bloodless husk could be a wee bit difficult.”

“Melshi, it’s the better option,” Cinta supplied helpfully in her usual cold and detached manner, as if they weren’t speaking of doing such a fucking stupid thing in the complete dark on a half dead Cassian. Melshi hated that she was still right. With the injury continuing bleeding, Cassian would probably live for another hour or so, not nearly enough for their extraction.

“Okay- how do I do this?”

“What blaster do you have, standard issue?”

“Pre-Clone Wars T-G pistol,” It was old but had never failed him until now.

“Can you control the barrel’s output size?” Melshi gave an affirmative noise. “Good, drop it to the minimum, then fire at maximum capacity. About seven seconds non-stop should be enough.”

“But something between his teeth,” another unknown voice supplied helpfully and Melshi’s stomach turned a bit more. He could very well imagine the crowd that had gathered around Cinta’s comm station.

Switching hands on the bandage, he undid his belt. “Cass?” Upon not receiving an answer, he pressed the cloth down harder for a moment. Cassian startled with an unhappy noise. “Cass, I need you to bite down on this.”

Finding Cassian, he doubled the belt and pushed it in between Cassian’s teeth. “Try to stay awake,” Cassian gave a somewhat affirmative mumble and Melsh began undressing his shoulder, peeling the wet shirt away from it and immediately pushing the bandage on it again. “We need to cauterize it, okay? Help is coming, we just have to make it for a few more hours,” He sounded definitively more optimistic than he felt. It didn’t matter though, Melshi was sure that Cassian wasn’t tracking.

He fumbled with the blaster, adjusting it as he had been told. Taking a deep breath, he readjusted his position, left hand on the wound, right one holding the blaster. He checked one more time that the belt was positioned securely in between Cassian teeth, then aimed the blaster at a point outside the cave on the ground. Hoping that the rain would cover the noise, he fired a series of shots without pause. Cassian jerked under his hand.

Counting the seconds, Melshi could see that the barrel of his blaster pistol started to shimmer faintly after five seconds, the gun overheating already. Two more seconds of constant firing and it glowed in a deep red.

In one swift motion, he swung the blaster around, releasing the bandage from Cassian’s shoulder with the other hand and pressing the hot metal on the wounded flesh. The hissing of metal connecting with and burning skin and blood was drowned out by Cassian’s muffled sharp groan. It turned to the whine of a wounded animal when Melshi spun the barrel a bit, getting as much of the wound covered as possible. He fought against Melshi’s hand on his collarbone holding him down, his legs kicking on the ground, pushing away dirt and rubble. 

Melshi pushed him back against the stone wall, turning the blaster and pressing the other side of the barrel on the burned flesh in another angle. He held it there until Cassian’s painful moan died down to a miserable whimper and the sickening stench of burned flesh hit his nostrils, making his stomach turn.

Carefully, he removed the belt, cradling Cassian’s face in both hands and stroking his thumbs over his cold cheekbones in a hopefully soothing manner. His thumbs caught a stray tear, swiping it away. “I’m sorry, Cass. It will be okay, you hear me? A few more hours and we’re home.”

“Did it work?” Melshi startled at the voice from the comm, having completely forgotten about the people listening to the whole operation on the other side. 

Very, very carefully, Melshi felt up Cassian’s chest until his fingertips lightly grazed the lower edge of the wounded area. No more blood was leaking out. However, he could feel the rim where smooth skin gave way to the rough, still hot, burned mess. “Yes.”

It would leave a scar for sure. Not that Cassian didn’t already have plenty of those, but this one would come from Melshi’s hands. Some of the turmoil of his thoughts must have come through in his voice, because Cassian nudged his fingers lightly against Melshi’s tight, and leaned his face a little more into Melshi’s palm.

“Keep him warm -,“ Cinta advised again and Melshi couldn’t keep himself from giving an angry huff at that, “- and keep his head up. I will check in from time to time, good luck.” The comm cracked when the connection was cut.

“Cass?” Melshi tried and got a hum in response. “I need to get you out of this shirt, okay? Try not to move that shoulder.”

After another hum, Melshi manoeuvred Cassian out of his wet and bloody shirt, cutting most of it away so as not to jostle the injured arm. He then removed what was left of his own shirt. “Can you slide a bit forward?” They managed, with Melshi taking most of Cassian’s weight while doing so. He then slipped in between Cassian and the back of the cave, hugging him from behind and looping his long arms around the other man’s chest. Cassian had crossed his own arms over his body and Melshi interlaced their fingers. Sharing body heat was the best way he could think of to transfer any warmth to Cassian.

The spy’s back was ice cold and shivering against Melshi’s chest and Melshi pressed the man a little closer, covering as much of his upper body with his arms as he could. Cassian leaned back and rested his head against the side of Melshi’s, his wet hair tickling against Melshi’s cheek.

“How- long-?” he asked tiredly and Melshi felt his breath against the cold skin on his neck.

“Two or three hours, they have to wait for the storm to quiet down,” He stroked his thumb over the back of Cassian’s hand. “Stay with me until then, okay? You’ve almost made it.”

“I will,” Cassian gave a weak squeeze back, his teeth clicking together jn between his words, “Thank you for coming after my scrawny arse.” 

“For you always, Keef.”

Cassian actually laughed at that, a breathless little thing Melshi felt more than heard as a vibration against his chest. He mumbled something, but the thundering outside made it impossible to understand.

“You can sleep now, I’ll keep watch,” Melshi said instead. Not that they would be able to fight off any persuaders in their current state. Melshi still kept the blaster in arm’s reach.

He pulled his knees up a bit, hoping to provide some more cover from the howling wind for Cassian, whom he now somewhat encircled with his own body as if trying to desperately keep Cassian’s life from slipping away by physically trapping it.

He repositioned one hand, so that he could feel for Cassian’s pulse on his wrist and then listened for the sound of laboured breath to even out as the man in his arms slipped away into a deep and exhausted sleep.

He held Cassian until the medics Cinta had brought with her for their extraction pulled him from his arms that had gone numb from the biting wind. The parts where their skin had connected were suddenly exposed and by the time someone draped a heating blanket around his shoulders, all shared warmth had evaporated.

They had him sipping lukewarm tea with a ton of sugar so as to not shock his system while they worked on Cassian down the hallway and their shuttle made its way through the remains of the storm.

Melshi left base before being able to see Cassian again, Cinta’s assurance that he was recovering the only information he got before his squad was sent out again to save another operation gone south.

When their shuttle landed on base after five days of high-stakes behind enemy lines, Cassian was nowhere to be found and only through the thorough use of intimidation on his and his teammates parts on some poor low-level intelligence staff member did he get the meagre knowledge that a halfway healed Captain Andor had left for Corellia the morning before.

It was another two and a half weeks before their in-between-mission respites overlapped and Melshi found Cassian talking to Draven in the hangar, the spy turning around at his running steps and pulling Melshi into a tight hug that knocked the breath out of both of them.

Draven muttered something about leaving Andor to his Pathfinder, an uncharacteristic smile tugging at his lips as he left the two men alone.

It wasn’t until the next morning that Melshi saw the ugly cross of half-healed flesh standing out pale against Cassian’s brown skin. 

Cassian lay on his back, one arm over his head, the other wrapped around Melshi’s shoulders. Melshi was curled up on Cassian’s side, head resting on the uninjured side of his chest. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, rather a lucky coincidence that he fell asleep on that side. After last night’s activities he hadn’t thought about that anymore, not after Cassian had cut off any further inquiries about his health with a fierce kiss, shutting them both up.

Their clothes lay on a heap next to Cassian’s bunk they shared, Melshi’s belt, now decorated with bite marks, sprawled on the floor.

He trailed his fingertips around the edges of the scar, glad that he could feel Cassian’s warm skin against his own body and hear the steady rhythm of his heart beating under his ear. It didn’t stop the memory of the stench of burned flesh and Cassian struggling against his hold to resurface, didn’t stop Melshi from feeling guilty at the shiny new mark on the man next to him. He swallowed heavily and covered the whole scar with his palm.

“I can hear you thinking,” Cassian murmured with a sleepy voice.

“Must be helpful for your spy-work.”

Cassian chuckled a bit, but let out a questioning hum afterwards. “I didn’t see it last night,” Melshi padded gently at the scar, moving to pull his hand away, “You were quite distracting.”

Cassina caught it and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss on the back of Melshi’s hand. “It saved my life. It may not be pretty, but I would have bled out without you sealing it. You saved me, Melshi. Don’t feel bad about leaving a little scar for that.”

He pulled Melshi up to kiss his lips this time. “Thank you. For doing this. For saving me. For keeping me alive.” He trailed Melshi’s jaw with little kisses in between his sentences.

Melshi didn’t say what came to his mind. That he didn’t want to have to make these choices, that he would rather hold Cassian in a gentler world, would rather love him in the slow and considerate manner he dreamed about, not just stolen nights in between missions. Ever since Narkina 5, they hadn’t had time nor space to have anything more. They both agreed that the fight came first.

Instead, he rolled on top of Cassian, holding his weight above him on his elbows. “You do the same for me, always have. Since then. Keeping me alive.”

In Narkina and after that, through the times his beliefs left him and hopelessness threatened to crush him, pulling him into the void.

Melshi leaned down into a slow and gentle kiss. “I love you. You know that, right?” he asked, resting his forehead against Cassian’s.

Cassian nodded with his eyes closed, the usual furrow between his brows softened, almost gone. “I know.” 

Cupping Melshi’s face, he pulled him down again. “I love you too.”

Another stolen moment, interrupted by a comm going off, calling them both to duty.