Chapter Text
Stolas
He was crying again.
If anyone had told me, a year ago, that the hot little imp that came to ravish me monthly was even capable of crying, I would have laughed and sent them away. I’ve watched him cry eight times over the last two and a half days, starting from the moment he saw past my poor attempts at hiding my condition. I hadn’t really, exactly, been attempting to hide it from him. I’d intended to tell him from the beginning, but every time I looked at him, or he looked at the nest, my throat closed up and I felt so stupid.
But now, here he is, sitting in a plush chair in a hospital room, limbs wrapped around the delicate white orb in his lap, hissing at anyone that came to close, and crying again.
It actually made it considerably easier to get over my own nerves and put my attention onto my very, very excitable imp boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” the doctor said, giving Blitz a bit of a fearful look because he did draw blood when the doctor had attempted to take the egg away a few minutes ago, “but I do have other patients.”
I gave him an apologetic smile, “I understand. I’ll take care of it.” I moved to crouch in front of the chair he was curled up in and reached out, ignoring the hissing. “Blitz, come now. You’re not going to bite me over this, are you?”
“I fucking will, don’t you dare.”
I sighed and glanced back to the doctor, who was getting impatient. I looked back to Blitz. “I was trying to spare your dignity, but I think you’ve already made your decision on that front. Are you certain you won’t let it go?”
He started hissing again.
I sighed and turned to the doctor, holding a hand out. “This is my second,” I assured him, “I know how to do it at home.”
He shrugged and handed the bottle over. I pocketed it and reached out to pick him and the egg up together. He was getting aggressive again, but let it go the instant he realized I was taking them both as a package deal. I hugged them to my chest and stood upright, fixing my posture.
“Thank you, Doctor. We will return for the check up next month.”
“Good. And, I’m sorry, one more thing?” He stopped me before I could carry my feral boyfriend and our egg out of the office. “I don’t know anything about this sort of mixed eggs, but, I do see one concern to keep in mind. Goetian eggs are the slowest incubation, and imp fetus are the quickest. While imps genes tend to adapt and act in a parasitic way to other demons’ genetics, I have no idea how long before it’s ready to hatch. Keep a close eye on development, and call in if you find anything concerning.”
“Of course,” I agreed instantly. “Come now, Blitz.”
I carried him out of the hospital and to the Elevator without much change. He stayed curled around the egg, and I didn’t really try to engage him in conversation yet. I just carried them, feeling the loss of internal weight and the strange sensation of no longer being gravid, and I contemplated our next… however long this may take.
It was once I found our seat on the Elevator that Blitz finally changed. He adjusted to sit in my lap more normally, both hands around the egg that he held securely in his, and his tail curled in around the three of us.
“Sorry for being weird.” He opened it up.
“I like you weird,” I assured him, pulling my arms in around him a little tighter, briefly. “But you shouldn’t have bitten the doctor.”
His eyes narrowed, “That bitch had it coming.”
“That ‘bitch’,” I paused for emphasis, “was trying to teach you how to wash it.”
He hummed without saying anything. Then, he made a face and looked up to me. “There’s a special way to wash them?”
I took the bottle out and showed him. “Theoretically, it isn’t necessary. But it’s a solution, because egg shells are technically permeable and we can’t soak it. Normal baths are dangerous; this is safer and much easier.”
He didn’t take the bottle, but he did look it over with interest. I tilted it so he could see the labels. “Oh.”
I gave him a second longer, then put the bottle back in my pocket. “We’ll likely run out and need to purchase more. It’s good for bathing the chick inside too, so the solution shouldn’t go to waste. I don’t think it to be expensive, either.”
He made a skeptical sound. “You mean ‘not expensive’ like, to you? Or to me?”
I sighed and dared to move a hand down to lay over our egg. He didn’t fight me off this time. “I don’t know, Blitz. I haven’t needed it in well over a decade. If the price is problematic, I imagine you’ll simply steal it anyways.”
“Yeah.” He sighed, leaning sideways into me. “I will.”
I smiled affectionately while his attention stayed down on the egg, and I felt almost at peace. I could think of three things that could make this moment better.
One: We were home already. Waiting all this time, traveling all this distance by means of public exposure, is weighing on me. We’ll have his van, when we reach Pride, but even then we aren’t completely free of the transit yet. But once we do get there, he will have to drive. I can’t; I know nothing about operating a motor vehicle, and to be perfectly honest I’m not sure it would be safe for me, cramped as I am in the front seat, to learn. Therefore, with a bit of silver lining, I will finally be allowed to hold my own egg.
Which brings me to Two: I would like to be holding the egg. I did just create it, and as much as I love my darling Blitzy, and the way he has so quickly and immediately embraced our egg, I want it. I will be perfectly content to share the duties of warming and caring for it, but, my instincts are to hold it closely and zealously. This is not my first egg, but, this is the first egg I’ve had any help caring for. Stella wanted as little to do with Octavia as possible, at that age. At most ages, actually. I’m concerned she still wants nothing to do with Octavia, despite being her primary guardian now.
And, thus, Three: Octavia. Every moment with this egg reminds me of Octavia, and how deeply it all hurts. None of that pain has faded. The instant I realized I was gravid, I cried at the memory of Octavia. At the memory of first learning her egg had successfully conceived. At learning it was viable. At her hatching, at… it all. My poor, sweet Via, becoming an older sister and she doesn’t even know.
I couldn’t stand to let her find out even as late as the hatching. I have to do what Blitz told me to do; I have to try again.
I held our egg in the van, back to the apartment. I held it in my lap, felt its warmth, and point number Two was resolved to a satisfying degree by the time point number One was fulfilled. Blitz did not demand the egg back once we were parked, he simply tucked an arm around me and pulled me eagerly back to the front door, ushering me in and locking the door the instant we were through.
“Loony!” Blitz shouted as he shoved me toward the living room, gentler than he’d shoved me about before, when he was calling my bullshit on not wanting to eat or bathe or, well, take care of myself in any way when I’d first gotten here. And he’d been surprisingly gentle then. “Loony, get out here! We’re back!”
Her door didn’t crack open until Blitz had me to the nest. I sat down into it, sinking in slightly, perfectly, and settled the egg into my lap. When I was settled and looking up, she was peeking out of the door, a severe case of bedhead. “Congrats. And it’s, yeah. Yeah, alright.” She saw me, or rather, the egg, and then rubbed her face, yawning. “What do I need to know?”
“Uh? It’s not for breakfast?” Blitz gave her a weird look.
She rolled her eyes at him and pulled back into her room, but not yet shutting the door. “That’s it? Nothing else?”
“Do you want to come out and talk about it?” I offered, because even though I knew Loona wasn’t interested in being too invested in this egg, she is going to be sharing her living space with a new creature now. This isn’t… it’s not a small change. I can’t share this with Octavia yet, but, I don’t want Loona feeling left out when she is right here.
She looked between me and Blitz – who was in the kitchen putting something for lunch together now – before stepping out of the door again. She shrugged, “Yeah, alright,” and came to sit down on the couch.
I had quite a bit prepared. I had everything I wanted to tell Octavia, but, I didn’t want to be presumptuous and waste Loona’s attention on details she likely doesn’t care about. So, as Blitz put three plates together, I settled the egg into the space between my legs, as I crossed them, and tried to figure out how to go about this.
“What do you want to know?”
“Look, I don’t know shit about kids, let alone kids that aren’t even kids yet. What do you want me to know?” She was scratching her ear and appeared very casual about all this. The past few days, she’s not been invested whatsoever, but, she hasn’t appeared uncomfortable, at least.
“Right now, we just need to keep it warm,” I began, deciding to focus on the basics. The things the doctor had made sure to mention before, despite the fact I’d already known all of it and I wasn’t entirely sure Blitz had been paying attention anyway. “And, we can’t be too rough with it either. No shaking, no rolling, no moving it too quickly or erratically. At the palace, with Via, we had an incubator. I enjoyed carrying her with me, warming her myself, but, I don’t think Stella ever did.”
“Fucking bitch.” Blitz brought Loona’s and my plate first, then went back for his. He’d made cold cut sandwiches. “We don’t need a fancy, expensive incubator.”
“No,” I agreed, watching him with an overbearing wave of affection that made it very, very difficult not to be disappointed when he sat on the couch beside Loona rather than on the too-small nest with me. “We can keep it warm.”
He grinned at me, and I tried to hide any trace of my disappointment. “What else?”
I took a bite of my sandwich and took my time, trying to act normal.
I had forgotten the way my hormones fluctuate after laying an egg. It’s coming back to me now, and, it’s certainly a different situation this time.
“Keeping it clean is important too. It isn’t difficult, it shouldn’t get very dirty anyway. But, the egg is porous, it needs to breath, and hand and feather oils will build up.” I pet a hand over it affectionately.
“Cool.” Loona was already nearly done with her sandwich and I worried I was going to run out of time. What else should I bring up now? “How lung until it hatches?”
“Octavia took eight months.” I remembered the time both fondly and… not. I had carried her with me almost constantly, but when I couldn’t, she was in the incubator. Stella criticized me for warming her as much as I had, insisting I was going to create ‘unrealistic expectations’ for the chick inside to want to be held constantly. She’d struggled with the approaching task of being a new mother the way I had of being a father, but, she’d taken it out on me the same way she’d taken our approaching marriage, beforehand, out on me. And the task of creating the egg out on me. And… well… everything else over the following seventeen years. “But incubation periods do shift, with hybrids. There aren’t many Goetian hybrids, I couldn’t say how it will be effected.”
“I was making seven months,” Blitz licked some mayonnaise off his fingers and I held my breath, eyes unable to unlock from the sight, “and Barbie and I were late anyway. So, maybe somewhere in between? Hey, Stols?”
“Hm?” I hooted in startle, sitting upright and forcing my attention onto my own lunch. “Y- yes. Yes, probably.”
“Are you going to want me to babysit that thing?” Loona propped her feet up on the coffee table, which meant she wasn’t going anywhere yet.
“Not if you don’t-” Blitz began, but I didn’t want to suffocate under the heat under my feathers, and I interrupted.
“Yes.”
They both looked at me in surprise. I forced some normal breaths and tried to ignore my hormone imbalance .
“Sorry.” I tried again. “Yes, if that’s alright. If you’re comfortable with that. I think, I couldn’t imagine, Moxxie and Mildred wouldn’t be willing to assist in caring for it when, um, when we need help.”
We will need help.
I am not going through this by myself this time.
Blitz gave me a weird look, “How hard can it be? I mean, yeah, when it hatches, but, it’s just an egg right now. Right?”
Yes, it is just an egg right now. An egg that needs to be kept warm and we don’t have an incubator, and our alone time is very limited living in this one bedroom apartment like this. “You don’t want to be overwhelmed so early. It’s good to learn how to take care of yourself too, during this time.” I accidentally held intense eye contact with him.
He tilted his head curiously, and when his eyes flickered to look me up and down, he smiled slightly. “Yeah. That makes sense.”
Fuck .
We discussed a few more things, mostly the stuff the doctor had tried to tell us about while Blitz was busy being feral, until Loona decided to go back into her room. By then, I’d finally managed to finish eating, and Blitz was shoving his way into the nest with me. He sat around me, curling his tail in around the three of us, and hugged me quite tightly with his arms and legs. He was purring, already, and I preened at his shirt; a safe place to pick at considering he doesn’t have feathers.
After a moment, I heard him chant under his breath, “Egg~, egg~, egg~, egg~ .”
I trilled fondly and moved into kissing his neck.
He sat up and gave me his face instead. I took advantage quickly and efficiently, positioning him in a more comfortable place and slipping my hands up under his shirt.
He laughed under his breath and pulled away, the bastard . “Stols, chill. You, like, just laid an egg.”
I moaned and twitched my fingers into his sides under his shirts. “I’m aware.”
“You don’t want to take it ‘over’easy for a little while?”
I wanted to explain to him exactly how laying an egg effects one’s hormones, but his stupid little pun had me cracking up. “ Blitz , no eating our egg!”
He giggled with me, tightening his legs around me (and getting me back on track), as he slipped his hands flat over the shell. “I’m just playing. Relax. No need to get hard boiled over it.”
I moaned and let the laughter bubble up freely. “ Blitzy .”
He laughed with me until I began to calm down, but, he was less laughing at his own poor-taste jokes and more watching me and clearly pleased with my reactions. Once I had calmed down again, he leaned over the egg toward me, sticking his nose in the air and smirking.
“I love you so much, Stols.” His words are pretty, but his tone is treacherous. “I’m so glad you know how to take a yolk.”
He was already giggling again, but I was nothing but turned on by his affections, easy attachments, silly sense of humor, and the memory of how his tongue had felt in my mouth just a few seconds ago.
So I put it back, grabbing one of his horns so he couldn’t pull away so easily this time, and bent him backwards slightly so he had to hold onto my shoulders to avoid falling out of the nest. He moaned and tightened his legs around me again , and I slid my other hand down between his thigh and the pillow he was sitting on. This time, he didn’t try to pull away until he was running out of breath. Since I had a firm grip on his horn, he had to tilt his head instead, to break free, and I kept my mouth on him.
He’s panting.
Good.
“S~” he had to stop and dry swallow. He tried again after I slipped my open mouth down to his neck. “Stols~”
I hummed.
“Now? Loona’s home. And… uh~ the egg?”
I hummed again. “It will take a few days for my hormones to even back out, Love. Last time, I was alone .”
He dry swallowed again, tilting his face into the top of mine. “You weren’t alone . You were married. I mean, I bet you already hated each other, but… uh~ but,” I made him lose that train of thought as quickly as I could.
Into his ear, “Worse than alone, Blitzy. Do you know how long it took to conceive Octavia? How horrible the process was? And then, after, when I was horny , I couldn’t even masturbate in my own bed. I didn’t dare do it where Stella could find me. And ruin it.”
He made a series of noises I quite liked hearing. He had a grip on my thigh that was a great starting place. “ Fuck , Stols. Can you be quiet or do we need to find a gag? I’ll eat you out in the shower, alright? Is that enough?”
Maybe. “You find something to put in my mouth,” I let his horn go and let him see pleased I am to have him here with me this time around, “I’ll fill the sink.”
His very dark face lightened as he appeared confused. “The… sink? This some new kink?”
“For the egg.” I picked it up, out of my lap and nearly under him at this point. “With lukewarm water and the solution they gave us. It’s a safe and effective temporary incubator. At least as long as the water doesn’t get cold.”
“It won’t.” He uncoiled his tail from around us and flicked it out behind him. “I’ll take care of you in plenty of time.”
We’d kept our voices down discussing our shower plans, and I fully intended to be as quiet as possible while we’re in the bathroom. The gag was merely a precaution, and because our toys always did make things more fun. He took one of my scarves out of the nest and knotted it a few times, and we were ready.
We used up all the hot water ‘going quick’, by the time I agreed to let it go. ‘Agreed’ is a strong word, of course, because it implies there was any sort of conversation happening. We started with me reclining creatively and him leaning over me, which had at one point shifted into me sitting on his face in an effort to save both of our backs, and at that point there had been ‘conversation’. Conversation being, him asking if twice was good enough (hah) and asking if I was ready to get out, and my putting his legs over my shoulders and pulling the soaked makeshift gag down to around my neck. Thrice more each, and all of the hot water later, ‘conversation’ meant he was purring under the room-temperature spray of the water, as rigid as jello while I finished rinsing him off, and I cooed into his ear how good he was being to me.
I even helped him dry off and into some fresh pants before I made him walk out of the bathroom on his own two feet.
“No.” He resisted, turning around and trying to reach past me into the bathroom.
I slipped the egg into his arms, “Looking for this?”
He started purring again and let me guide him back in toward the nest again.
We’d only taken Monday off. Tuesday, we were going back into the office. I.M.P. doesn’t have any scheduled hits today, but, there was more for them to do than kill humans in order to run a successful business. We were going in late, so that Moxxie and Millie would have to take a taxi to go in on time. Blitz told them to open up and get ready for a meeting, first thing in the morning. Then, he swaddled our egg up in his plush horse throw blanket and handed it over, grabbed the keys, and called Loona out so we could leave.
“Yes,” I buckled in and rolled my eyes at Blitzy’s vivid description of how ‘jealous’ he anticipates Moxxie being, “but did you tell them?”
“Uh… no?” He started the van up. I heard Loona’s music through her headphones behind us and, predictably, no audible seat belt *click* from the backseat. “Why would I do that?”
“You’re just going to spring this on them? I thought you’d tell everyone the instant I popped it out. Or, at least, the instant you let it go.” I cradled the blanket-bundle in my lap.
“You said you didn’t want to tell anyone yet.”
“Until we knew if it was viable. Which was confirmed before I laid it, mind you.”
He shrugged and used a blinker ? Am I seeing this correctly? “Guess I just wanted to be there to see the look on their faces. Oh, they are not going to expect this one.”
Blitz slowed down nearly to a stop before turning.
On purpose.
“...No… I suppose they won’t.” I watched him, rather than the road, for a moment. “Blitz, are you feeling alright? You’re driving… strangely.”
“I’m driving like I’ve got an egg in the car, shut the fuck up and mind your own business.”
My chest warmed and I couldn’t stop grinning at him. “Pretty sure this is my business, Blitzy. Thank you.” I leaned down to kiss him on the cheek.
His face got darker and he shoved me off, “Keep it in your pants, Feathers, I’ve got to keep my eyes on the road. And get ready to chuck Moxxie’s trash when someone cuts us off, yeah?”
The ‘announcement’ didn’t make it to the meeting room. The instant we walked in, even though I made an effort to preserve his excitement for the ‘big reveal’ by keeping it wrapped in the blanket fully, Blitz attacked the nearest of them (Mildred) and shoved her face around to stare up at me. “Guess~ what~ we~ made~,” he sang while also shaking her so hard she couldn’t viably get a good look.
I rolled my eyes and adjusted my hold on it, “B litz . I thought you wanted to discuss it in our ‘meeting’?”
Mildred gently pushed him off from her. “I don’t know, B, did you get a new hobby? Are you making blankets now?” She eyed him wearily until she seemed convinced he wasn’t going to grab her again, then looked back up toward me.
“That looks store-bought.” Moxxie was coming closer. “So I’m going to guess it’s whatever is inside the blanket?”
“It’s an egg!” Blitz climbed around me and up to my shoulders, reaching down from them to pull on the loose part of the blanket I had brought up to cover it like a hood.
I sighed in exasperation. “ This was your brilliant announcement plan? It isn’t very formal, is it?”
The cup in Moxxie’s hand fell to the ground and whatever was inside spilled all over the carpet. “You- did you steal it?”
Blitzy hissed from my shoulders. “No. Fuck off. We ~made~ it.” His eyes are sparkling and his hands are spread out in front of us, and I just wanted to kiss him .
Mildred seemed to be recovering a bit more gracefully. “That’s… that’s really unexpected, B. I mean, are you… are you sure ?”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean? Yes, I’m sure. I watched him pop that shit out myself. I was fucking there when it went in-”
I cleared my throat (because I was already having trouble not thinking about the in part) and glared at him. It was hard because he’s leaning over my shoulder still, from his perch on my back, so I had to crane my head back. “They do not need the details.”
“No. We don’t. Thanks, for that.” Moxxie was picking up the cup. “Alright, I mean, wow. So, an egg. That’s, like, that’s possible?”
“Sure it’s possible. There are imp hybrids fucking everywhere, why wouldn’t it be possible? I mean, just because Goetia ‘high society’ is mostly a bunch of frigid pricks doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. Here, you want to see it?” Blitz slunk around me again and pulled the egg directly out of my arms from below. I had the briefest moment of instinctual panic, that it was falling, before I relinquished my hold and glared down at him for the brief scare. He slid more of the blanket off and held it up proudly. “See? We’ve got to keep it warm, so, it stays in someone’s arms most of the time.”
“Wow.” Moxxie stared at it in amazement and I felt a little bit of pride. “So, you’re really going to be a dad.”
Blitz immediately covered it up and clutched it to his chest so he could get a good angle kick Moxxie between the legs. “I’m already a dad you asshole! Loonie is going to be the best big sister ever. She’s going to be amazing, and they’re going to love her, and she’s going to teach them how to beat the shit out of their uncle Moxxie for being a bag of dicks.”
I reached over Blitz’s shoulder to take the bundle back, giving Moxxie a pitying look as he rolled over on top of the spill he’d made when he’d dropped his cup. “Perhaps we can refrain from fighting, while holding our unhatched chick?”
“Maybe we should ‘refrain’ from being a bag of dicks,” Loona piped in from her desk.
Blitz, completely ignoring my reclamation, beamed across the room at her. “Aw, Loony, Moxxie didn’t mean it.”
I watched him slink across the room toward her, hugging her as she rolled her eyes and tried to shrug him off. Mildred was going to help clean the floor and Moxxie up, and I… I stood just a few paces in from the main door, holding my second egg, considering the phrase ‘big sister’.
And all thoughts about the ‘in’ part left me.
I tried to keep my spirits up throughout the day, particularly as both Moxxie and Mildred showed more of an interest in learning about eggs and how to take care of it. They were eager to agree for egg-sitting should we need the assistance, and I felt rather comfortable with the way they were both holding it. Moxxie was particularly anxious and cautious, so I knew he wouldn’t be reckless. I didn’t figure he would drop it on accident, either, as cautious as he is. Mildred seemed more confident.
“I’ve got three younger siblings. They came out as babies, not eggs, but I still know how to hold ‘em,” she explained, and that made me comfortable enough to ask her to hold it a few hours later, after Blitz had grumbled about paperwork one too many times and I had to lock his office door and make him ask me to help out with it correctly.
“Fuck, Stols,” he panted, sprawled out on the ground, “This going to last the whole seven months? Because I might get used to this.”
I didn’t want to ruin his high, so I tried to bury my face into his neck and even my breathing. “No. My libido will return to normal in a week or so.”
He hummed and rubbed my back, through my shirt because I kept mine on. He did not get to. “Maybe not… normal , like, before. Hopefully. Right? Or, you mean normal like, before everything went to hell?”
I did not want to be thinking about everything ‘going to hell’. What a useless phrase, coming from a hellborn. And yet , worst, I knew what he meant and I did not want to think about that .
“Hey.” His tone changed immediately and I realized I must have been doing a terrible job of hiding my bitter sadness. “Hey, Stols, come on. I didn’t mean it like that. You can be as horny or not horny as you want, pretty bird.”
Oh.
I’m crying.
I let out a long, shaky breath and tried less hard to hide the sorrowful hooting that went with it. “I know, Blitzy. Thank you for being so perfect. You have been, you’re perfect .”
He still rubbed my back, on this uncomfortable office ground, as we lay partially under his desk with the sad lemon tree in the corner I was in the midst of nursing back to health directly in my view when I lifted my face to look at him.
He met my eyes, and his expression was panicked. “Stols, talk to me birdie, what’s wrong? You wanted a bed? Fuck, I don’t have one of those. I’ll get you one though. Alright? I’ve been looking at places, places with three bedrooms so you and Loony and the egg can all have their own rooms, and-”
I slid my hands to either side of his face. “That isn’t the problem, Blitzy. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ruin our moment. You were enjoying yourself. I-” my voice broke and I had to let his face go to wipe at my eyes with the heel of my hand. I tried again. “I’ll be alright. It’s only my hormones, they’ll, they’ll even out again…”
“Bullshit. Weird egg-hormones or not, you’re not going to cry for no reason. What’s wrong? What do I need to do?”
I laid my head back down on his chest and pulled my legs up toward my chest, which tucked them up and around him. “It’s-” I almost admitted it out loud, so easily, and felt a stab of pain my chest at the thought of wasting his time with something he already knows .
But he’s asking.
And now he’s waiting.
I took a deep breath.
“It’s Via. She doesn’t even know yet, and, I don’t want her to think I’m replacing her. I don’t want her to think she isn’t first on my mind, when I realized I was gravid. She isn’t an afterthought, but, I don’t know how to get to her. She won’t talk with me, she wants nothing to do with me, and…” my voice broke again and I had to take another shaky breath. I gripped his shirt tightly in my fist. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rehash the same old problems over and over again.”
“Stop saying that. You should be upset about her.” He kept rubbing my back. “She deserves to be moody and reluctant older sister as much as Loona does.”
I took another, less shaky breath. “I don’t mean to annoy you with this.”
“You don’t annoy me with having emotions. Especially about your daughter. Fuck, Stols, you care so much about her I feel like shit for making her hate you.”
“You didn’t-”
“I did. Don’t argue with me about it. I’m not sparing your feelings, don’t spare mine. It’s my fault, and, we don’t have to pretend like it isn’t.”
I didn’t really know how to argue with that. I still don’t believe it, but, I understand why he is convinced. I know it’s my fault. I should have been more open about what was going on in my life with her, she wouldn’t have taken it all so poorly then. She would have already known, she would have understood better, if I had opened up to her properly and given her time to understand.
Apparently that’s just my problem. I never give anyone time to understand anything.
“We should get dressed.” Blitz tapped my back and spoke softly. “Make an appearance so they don’t think we’re doing anything lewd in here.”
As if they don’t all already know fully what just happened. I hadn’t been quite as quiet this time, and, I had made a point to have Mildred take the egg, and then closed the office door behind me very clearly. We did knock a picture frame off his desk when one of us kicked it on accident. I don’t even know which one of it was.
Of course they did, but, nobody said anything. I don’t know if they were simply uncomfortable with it (they didn’t appear to be) or took pity on us, but nobody so much as made a clipping comment when we came back out. But, as we approached the end of the work day, and as Mildred finished repacking the armory and Loona was logging out of her computer, Moxxie gave a wonderful suggestion.
“Why don’t we go out to celebrate? Not drinking, I guess, but, just out to eat? Millie and I found this lovely little place on the other side of town, I bet you’d love it, sir.” Moxxie was looking to me.
“Can’t.” Blitz answered for both of us.
I looked to him quickly in confusion, “Why not?”
“Uh, because I need to go shopping and you need to take it easy? You really want to go out and have a bunch of a-holes throwing shit at you with a brand new egg? I’m going to get a sling for it, and a few other things, and you’re going to go home and relax. We can go out to celebrate somewhere other than Pride later this week. Or next week. I mean, maybe after you’ve calmed down.” He wagged his brows up at me.
I felt my face heat up because I was still satisfied from earlier, but at his mentioning my ‘condition’, I imagine I wouldn’t take too much convincing to revisit it. “I think a little celebration would be appropriate.”
“Outside of Pride.” Loona agreed and went to stand by the door. “Somewhere they aren’t throwing shit at you all the time. You said that egg isn’t going to get very dirty, but, I don’t think you want soda and garbage spilling on it.”
I deflated and cringed at the mental image. “I suppose you are right…”
“We can come over, then.” Mildred pat my arm. “We’ll celebrate at your place.”
“Sure, sure.” Blitz shoved his keys into Loona’s hands and rushed us all out of the office. “Moxxie can cook everyone one of his fancy meals, it’ll be great. Later this week. I want to get that sling and pick up some more mice. I’ll be home later, if you need me to pick anything else up just text me, okay pretty bird? Okay, I love you, now let’s go.”
I didn’t let him run off without a kiss, and by the time we were all piled into the van (this time with Loona behind the wheel and both Moxxie and Millie in the back seat) I felt a little empty. He had rushed off so quickly. More than likely, he only wanted to be done with his shopping trip quickly so he could come home, but, he had been a little strange about it all.
If Moxxie and Mildred thought so, they did not mention it. They were only encouraging and so very sweet, until we dropped them off at their apartment building. Loona didn’t seem all that concerned either, but, she did drive safer just as Blitz had. I don’t know if it was also because she wanted to be particularly careful with an egg in the vehicle or if she always drives this way; this is the first time I’ve been inside this van without Blitz behind the wheel.
I put on a movie to wait for him, warming our egg and trying to keep my patience. The movie ended and he wasn’t home. That’s alright. He’ll likely be taking the bus back, and, it may be taking him longer than the hour and a half to both get to the store, shop, and return. Probably more than one store. I have no reason to worry about him yet.
A second movie later, I began to worry. But, again, with his errand list, three hours is still… reasonable . I sent him a message, just to check in, and he sent back a ‘👍’ promptly enough, so, he’s fine .
He’s fine.
Loona came out during my third movie, and, her concern did not help my carefully managed panic. “He isn’t back yet?”
“No.” I tried not to show how much it bothered me. “He’s… probably gotten busy. It does take him some time to find mice. Sometimes.” Only the first few times. He found a store that sold them and typically, now, he will spend the money to avoid catching them himself. It’s certainly more sanitary, but, perhaps he has gone back to the cheaper option? Or…
She came to watch the third movie with me. She leaned into the side of the couch and got comfortable. “I haven’t seen this in forever.”
I relaxed, but, only some. “Do you want me to start it over?”
“Nah, I remember the beginning. I never saw the sequel, though.”
We had time to watch the sequel. I tried not to be annoying, but, I did start texting Blitz more frequently. He assured me he was still looking for supplies, he was trying to get me the perfect present, and so long as he was responding at all, I was sure he was safe and would return home eventually . And when he does, he’ll have some sort of explanation for making me wait so long .
He stopped responding halfway through the sequel, the forth movie of the night, five and a half hours after Loona and I returned to the apartment without him. It’s late. It’s dark. And he isn’t responding.
If he doesn’t pick up the phone by the end of this movie, I’m giving Loona the egg and I’m going out to hunt him down myself.
He came in just as the credits started rolling. I got to my feet quickly, angry, ready to interrogate him for an explanation on what the hell was he doing , when I realized he looked like shit.
He looked like he’d been in a fight he did not loose.
“Blitzy.” I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should still be so angry, or… or what? No, I am definitely still angry. “Blitz.”
He flinched, collapsing down onto the couch by Loona.
“I’ll get you an ice pack.” She got up and went toward the kitchen.
“Thanks, Loony Toony.” He sounds defeated. “Sorry for making you worry, Stols. I was… uh, I was really hoping it’d be worth it. I figured, if I could get you this present, you wouldn’t give a shit about how late I stayed out.”
“Blitz,” I sat down on the coffee table facing him and shoved our egg into his lap so he felt exactly how frustrated I was. Why he can’t just stay out all night and get into fights! “What the hell kind of present is worth you coming home in the middle of the night like this? Did you even get the things you said you were going to get?”
“Yeah.” He hugged his arms around the egg in his lap and downcast his eyes. “Bags are by the door. Those mice should probably go in the fridge, by the way. And the sling’s adjustable, so, it should fit both of us.”
I snapped. “I’m not going to let this go! Why the fuck do you look like you’ve been thrown out of a window?”
He flinched. “I got thrown out of a window.”
I almost laughed. It isn’t funny. “ Blitz .”
“I was trying to get Octavia.”
I froze.
“To talk to her. I figured, if I could just talk to her, I could at least convince her to give you another chance. Like, meet up somewhere, have lunch, just to talk? I don’t have to be there, right? Just, I could make her interested in seeing you. I know she misses you. I know she loves you.”
I dry swallowed, clenching my fists, all of my anger dissipating because, he was trying to talk to my daughter for me? “Did you see her?” He must have broken into my- into the palace. He knows how. He’s done it before. In my mind’s theatre, he went in through the same balcony doors he did every month since our deal for the grimoire began.
“No.” He flinched when Loona put a bag of frozen peas up to a swollen bit by his eye. He lifted a hand to hold it there, and she leaned on the back of the couch to listen. “Your ex’s brother caught me. As much of a racket as we made, I’m sure she knew I was there, but, she didn’t come out. And, uh, sorry. I broke one of the balcony doors.”
I closed my eyes and leaned forward, dropping my face into my hands. Because of how low the coffee table is, I had to bend so far that our egg, in his lap, was just beyond my head.
“Thank you for trying. And, I don’t imagine it was you that broke them.”
“Fuck no. It was that icy bitch when he threw a whole-ass ice boulder at me. Still my fault though.”
“It isn’t my palace anymore,” I reminded him. “I imagine… it will have quite a few renovations by the time my banishment is over anyway.”
“This is so f-” Blitz started to get heated, but he was cut off when a dial tone filled the room.
He and I both lifted our gaze to look at Loona, who had her phone up to her ear. She looked between us, but, didn’t explain herself. Then, after a few rings from whoever she is calling, they answered.
The voice on the other side was muffled, because Loona must keep her volume low and whoever it is wasn’t shouting. Nevertheless, my heart skipped a beat at the voice I thought I heard.
“Stole it out of your dad’s phone. Guess that means you already have mine?”
The voice on the other side wasn’t any louder, and, I still couldn’t make out words, but, the electricity in my veins is unmistakable. And with what few words Loona’s already said, I’m positive. She’s talking to Octavia.
“Yeah, well, sorry about that. He was trying to talk to you, not steal anything. Uh, no? You’re dad’s been depressed as shit, don’t give me that. Get the fuck over yourself, he’s been crying over you constantly. Yeah, you don’t owe him shit, whatever, but, you need to hear what he’s got to say now. Seriously.”
I sat up straight. I felt like I was going to puke. Is… is it really this easy? She won’t pick up the phone for me, now, and I’m relatively certain she’s got my number blocked at this point. But, she picked up for Loona? I know she has Loona’s number; she asked if I had it after our adventure in the human world looking for her. And of course I had it; Blitzy had given it to me in case of emergencies some time ago, around the time of the Harvest Moon Festival, along with Moxxie and Mildred’s numbers, and the I.M.P. office phone.
“Will you shut the fuck up? Seriously, you really believe all that garbage? He fucking raised you, you should know him better than whatever your mom’s saying. I’ve only known the guy a little while and I know he’s a shit liar. He wouldn’t fake your childhood, kid. Whatever, you need to talk with him about this. Maybe after this, though. You really need to hear what he’s got to say right now.”
There was a pause, then, Loona nodded and held the phone out toward me.
Blitz looked like he was holding his breath.
I put Loona’s phone up to my ear.
“Hello, Starfire?” I tried not to let my voice get too shaky and whimpering.
“Hey, Dad.” She sounds angry, still. “What’s so important you sent your boyfriend to break into the house for?”
I took a deep breath and had to look over to meet Blitz’s eyes, to find my strength. “I’ve had an egg.”
Silence. The silence was so deafening I had to check to make sure she hadn’t hung up. No, she’s still there.
“Yesterday. I want,” my voice broke and I had to steel myself. I can’t be whimpering and blubbering all over myself, begging for her to understand. I have to convince her. “I need you to see it.”
I couldn’t read her tone. “You’ve got a new boyfriend, a new home, and a new kid?”
“No.” I didn’t raise my voice, but I put as much force into it as I possibly could, to make her understand. “Octavia, I don’t want a new life. I want Blitz in my life because he makes me happy. Because he makes me feel safe, and understood in a way your mother never had. I want you in my life because you are my daughter. Because I love you. Because I love you more than anything. None of this was on purpose, none of this was to hurt you. I cannot possibly choose between the two people I love most in this world, Octavia, and I need you to be a part of this hatchling’s life in whatever way you are most comfortable. I want you to be a sister.”
I heard her suck in a short breath, and, I anticipated the worst.
Then, “Sister?”
I nodded, though she couldn’t see me. “You and Loona both. Octavia,” I keep using her full name, to make her understand I love her entirely , with the full name I gave her, whether she knows her mother had nothing to do with it or not, “will you please come to meet the egg?”
I still couldn’t understand her tone, but, I don’t think it was angry anymore. “Have you… picked out any names yet?”
I could almost relax. “Not yet. Not without you.”
There was another long moment of silence, then, I heard her exhale and her tone was distinctly softer. “I’ll come over. I’ll give Mother and Uncle the slip later this week, so they don’t find out and start harassing you about it, and we can talk. Send me the address from Loona’s phone; they’re reading all the messages you send me.”
Then she hung up.
“Thank you, Loona, dear.” I handed her phone back to her.
“Did she agree? Is she coming?” Blitz asked eagerly.
I answered by moaning and slipping forward, my knees onto the ground and sliding my arms around both him and the egg, resting my head in his lap beside it, my cheek pressed into the smooth and warm surface. “She’s coming. Loona, can you please send her your address? She’ll… she’ll be here some time later this week.”
Blitz rubbed my back, in a similar way to how he had done in his office earlier. “That’s great news, Stols! I’ll tell M&M to hold off on coming over until after she comes, so we don’t overwhelm her or anything. She didn’t say when, though, right? Shit, we need to clean. Fix the next up again, I’ll get a new bottle of window spray… Stolas you can dust, right? You know how to do that? You can reach the stuff on the top-”
I squeezed him and hooted in frustration, making him stop. Loona was going back in to her room now, and, I am exhausted .
“What’s wrong?” His voice got gentle and his fingers slipped into the feathers at the back of my head.
“I want to worry about it later.” I rolled my head to look up at him. “I want to hold you and go to sleep.”
He gave me that smile I loved , and leaned down over the egg to kiss the top of my head. “Anything you want, pretty bird. You go get comfy,” he gave me the egg back again and made me sit up. “I’ll go put my pajamas on.”
Hope is exhausting, but I can’t help but to let it spark anyway.
I am going to get Octavia back. Blitz and Loona have opened this door for me, and, I won’t squander it.
I am going to have my happy family.