Chapter Text
As Hao stands in the middle of his bedroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror, his mind races, torn between denial and the growing suspicion that he can’t ignore any longer. The symptoms have been persistent—nausea, fatigue, dizziness—and no matter how much he tries to convince himself it’s stress or exhaustion, the possibility looms over him like a shadow. He needs to know for sure.
Taking a deep breath, he turns away from the mirror and calls out, “Haneul! We’re going on a grocery trip, baby!”
Haneul comes running, her little feet pattering against the floor. “Yay! Store!” she cheers, already grabbing her tiny shoes. Hao can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm, even as his stomach churns with anxiety.
At the supermarket, Hao moves quickly, grabbing the essentials—milk, bread, eggs, and a few snacks for Haneul. He avoids the aisles with strong smells, his nausea flaring up at the slightest whiff of something pungent. As they pass by a pharmacy on their way out, Hao hesitates. Then, before he can talk himself out of it, he walks in and grabs a pregnancy test. Four different brands, just to be sure. He doesn’t want any room for doubt.
Haneul, oblivious to the weight of the moment, tugs on his sleeve. “Mama, park? Play?” she asks, her big eyes pleading. “Sunshine!”
Hao glances outside. The weather is nice, and Haneul has been cooped up indoors for too long. “Okay, baby,” he says, forcing a smile. “We’ll go to the park for a little while.”
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At the park, Haneul immediately runs off to play with the other children, her laughter ringing out as she climbs onto the jungle gym. Hao finds a bench nearby and sits down, the pharmacy bag tucked discreetly into his bag. He was lost in thought, his chin resting on his hand as he watched his Haneul twirl around, her laughter echoing across the park. The sunlight caught the delicate fabric of his skirt, a soft, flowy material that swayed gently in the breeze. He was used to the occasional stares or comments whenever he dressed like that. Today, however, he wasn’t prepared for what was coming.
He didn’t notice the woman approaching until she plopped down on the bench beside him, her perfume overpowering and her voice gratingly cheerful. “Hi there!” she said brightly, as if they were old friends.
Hao glanced at her briefly, offering a polite but distant nod before turning his attention back to his daughter. He wasn’t in the mood for conversation, especially not with a stranger.
“So, who are you watching over?” she asked, her tone casual but with an edge of nosiness as she gestured toward the children playing nearby.
Hao followed her gaze to his daughter, who was now chasing a butterfly with unbridled enthusiasm. “The girl in the pink dress,” he replied simply, his voice soft but firm.
“Oh, the one playing with my son?” the woman said, pointing to a boy in a blue shirt who was now giggling as he ran alongside Haneul. “They seem to be having fun.”
Hao nodded again, his attention drifting back to his daughter. He really wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but the woman didn’t seem to notice—or care.
“Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?” she continued, undeterred by his silence. “Perfect for a day out with the kids. Though I suppose it’s always nice when you’re working for a rich family, huh? Must be a cushy job, being a nanny. Bet you don’t even break a sweat.”
Hao frowned, confused by her assumption. He opened his mouth to correct her, but she barreled on before he could speak.
“I see how you’re dressed,” she said, her eyes scanning his outfit—a soft, oversized sweater and skirt. “The sweater, the skirt… very… feminine . Trying to make an impression, are we? Let me guess—you’re after the husband, right? Smart move. I’ve seen it before. Gold diggers like you always have a plan.”
Hao stared at her, his expression hardening. “That’s my daughter,” he said, his voice low and cold. “I’m not her nanny.”
The woman blinked, her smile faltering for a moment before she let out a sharp, mocking laugh. “Oh, even smarter! You already baby-trapped the rich man. No wonder you look so pretty and put together. Must be nice, not having a care in the world, living that kind of life. Just sitting around looking pretty while someone else pays the bills.”
Hao’s jaw tightened, his hands gripping the edge of the bench. He could feel the anger simmering beneath the surface, but he forced himself to stay calm. “You don’t know anything about my life,” he said, his tone icy.
The woman rolled her eyes, her tone growing even more venomous. “You probably have a maid for everything, don’t you? Bet you don’t even know how old your daughter is. Or what she likes to eat. Probably not, right? I mean, if you can afford to prance around like that, you probably don’t lift a single finger. Meanwhile, the rest of us are out here actually working and struggling.”
Hao’s patience was wearing thin. He was used to people making assumptions about him—about his appearance, his relationship, his parenting—but this woman’s words cut deeper than most. She was insinuating things that were not only untrue but deeply offensive.
“Just because I’m young and pretty doesn’t mean I’m not a good mom,” he said, his voice trembling with barely contained anger.
The woman scoffed, leaning back on the bench with a smirk. “Oh, please. Spare me the sob story. All you’ve got to think about is spreading your legs.”
Hao froze, his entire body tensing as her words hit him like a slap. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think—couldn’t do anything but stare at her, his mind racing with a storm of emotions. Anger, humiliation, and a deep, searing frustration boiled inside him, threatening to spill over.
Then, slowly, he turned to face her fully, his eyes blazing with a fire that made the woman’s smirk falter. His voice, when he finally spoke, was low and trembling with barely contained rage. “You think you know me? You think you have any right to sit there and run your mouth?”
The woman opened her mouth to retort, but Hao cut her off, his voice rising now, sharp and unyielding. “I wake up every single day and work harder than you could ever imagine to take care of my daughter. I cook her meals, I help her study and learn, I hold her when she cries, and I make sure she knows she’s loved. And yeah, I do it all while looking like this— ” He gestured to himself, “—because I don’t owe you or anyone else an explanation for how I dress or how I live my life.”
The woman blinked, her smug expression faltering as Hao’s words hit her like a tidal wave. But he wasn’t done.
“You want to talk about spreading my legs?” he snapped, his voice shaking with fury. “How about you take a long, hard look at yourself and ask why you’re so obsessed with what I do with my body. Maybe if you spent half as much time worrying about your own life instead of judging mine, you wouldn’t be sitting here, bitter and alone, trying to tear someone else down to make yourself feel better.”
The woman’s face turned red, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled to find a response. But Hao didn’t give her the chance. He stood up abruptly, his hands trembling with anger, and glared down at her. “You don’t know me. You don’t know my family. And you sure as hell don’t get to talk to me like that ever again.”
With that, he turned on his heel and stormed off by. He didn’t look back. He didn’t care what she had to say. He scooped his daughter into his arms, holding her tightly as if she were the only thing grounding him in that moment. She giggled, oblivious to the tension, and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck.
“Let’s go home, sweetheart,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
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When Hao got home, Haneul was practically dragging her feet, her little hand clutching his as she yawned loudly. The excitement of running around in the park had worn her out, and by the time they stepped inside, she was barely keeping her eyes open.
“Come on, baby,” Hao said softly, scooping her up into his arms. “Let’s get you ready for bed.”
Haneul nodded sleepily, resting her head on his shoulder as he carried her to her room. He helped her change into her pajamas, her movements sluggish and her eyelids drooping. When she was finally tucked under the covers, she looked up at him with those big, innocent eyes that always melted his heart.
“Mama,sing?” she asked, her voice soft and drowsy.
Hao smiled, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Of course, my love,” he said, sitting on the edge of her bed. He began to hum softly, then sang her favorite lullaby, his voice gentle and soothing. Haneul’s eyes fluttered closed as he sang, her breathing slowing as she drifted off to sleep.
When he was sure she was asleep, Hao leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep well, my little star,” he whispered. Then he stood up, turned off the light, and quietly closed the door behind him.
The moment the door clicked shut, the weight of the day crashed down on him all at once. He leaned against the wall, his chest tightening as the emotions he had been holding back finally overwhelmed him. Anger, sadness, worry, humiliation—it all came rushing in, a storm that left him breathless. His legs felt weak, and he slid down to the floor, his skirt pooling around him, and buried his face in his hands. The woman’s words echoed in his mind, sharp and relentless. All you’ve got to think about is spreading your legs . The accusation burned, not just because it was cruel, but because it tapped into the deep, unspoken fears he had carried for years.
As a male carrier, Hao’s life had been anything but easy. Male carriers—men born with the rare but not unheard-of ability to conceive and carry children—were a taboo subject in many parts of the world. In China, where Hao had grown up, it was something to be hidden at all costs. The condition was seen as unnatural, even shameful, and those who had it were expected to live in secrecy. If anyone discovered the truth, it would spell disaster—social ostracization, humiliation, and a lifetime of being shunned. Hao had grown up hearing stories of male carriers who were disowned by their families or forced to flee their hometowns to escape the stigma. It was a heavy burden to carry, and for years, Hao had internalized the fear and shame that came with it.
When he moved to Korea, he had hoped things would be different. And in some ways, they were. Korea was more accepting of male carriers, at least on the surface. They weren’t treated as freaks or forced to completely erase their identity. But was it really any better? Here, male carriers were often sexualized and objectified, reduced to nothing more than their ability to bear children. They were seen as novelties, curiosities, or worse—objects of desire. And god forbid if a male carrier decided to wear whatever they wanted. Hao loved expressing himself through his clothing—sometimes he wore dresses and skirts, sometimes more masculine outfits. So what? Was it the end of the world? Apparently, to some people, it was. People loved staring, ogling, and making comments. It was like this everywhere—men thinking they could get away with groping him, women discrediting him, and everyone else treating him like some kind of spectacle.
It was exhausting. And it was one of the main reasons he had fallen in love with Hanbin. Hanbin was the only person who had ever understood Hao fully and completely. From the moment they met, Hanbin had never once made Hao feel like his condition was something to be ashamed of. He never commented on Hao’s clothing choices. In fact, Hanbin had once told him, “ I’ll love you regardless of how you present yourself. Even if you were a worm, I wouldn’t care. I love you for you.” T hose words had stayed with Hao, a lifeline in a world that often felt like it was against him.
Hanbin didn’t treat Hao like a housewife either. He cherished him. He valued Hao’s contributions to their family, whether it was cooking dinner, helping Haneul with intellectual games, or simply being there to listen when Hanbin had a rough day. They were partners in every sense of the word, and Hanbin made sure Hao knew it. That was why it hurt so much when people like the woman in the park dared to comment on their family. They didn’t know the struggles they had faced, the sacrifices they had made, or the love that held them together.
After a while, Hao got his act together. He couldn’t afford to wallow in his emotions for too long—there was dinner to make and the house to clean. He moved through his chores on autopilot, his mind still buzzing with the day’s events but his hands busy with the tasks at hand. He decided to make something quick and comforting: jajangmyeon, black bean noodles with diced vegetables and pork. It was one of Haneul’s favorites, and he knew Hanbin would appreciate the effort, even if it was a simple dish.
—---------------------------
Just as he was finishing up, the front door opened, and Hanbin stepped inside, dropping his bag by the entrance. Haneul, who had been quietly playing with her toys in the living room, immediately perked up and ran toward him, her little feet pattering against the floor.
“Appaaaa!” she squealed, launching herself into his arms.
Hanbin laughed, scooping her up and spinning her around. “My princess! I missed you so much,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Did you have a good day?”
Haneul nodded enthusiastically, her words tumbling out in the way only a two-year-old’s could. “We go park, Appa! I see butterfly! It fly, fly, fly!” She flapped her arms like wings, her eyes wide with excitement. “I run fast! Like zoom!” She made a zooming noise, bouncing in Hanbin’s arms. “Then I'm tired… Mama sing song. I sleep. Then we go home. Now eat dinner!”
Hanbin listened carefully, his eyes wide with mock surprise. “Wow, that sounds like such a fun day! You must be the luckiest girl in the world to have such a fun Mama.”
Haneul giggled, nodding again. “Yeah! Mama best! And now you home, Appa. Better!”
Hanbin smiled, setting her down and ruffling her hair. “I’m glad to hear that. Now, let’s go see what Mama made for dinner, okay?”
He walked into the kitchen, where Hao was setting the table. Hanbin came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Hao’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly. “I missed you.”
Hao tensed for a moment before relaxing into the embrace. “I missed you too,” he replied, though his voice was distant.
Hanbin frowned slightly but didn’t comment. Instead, he kissed Hao’s cheek and asked, “How was your day?”
Hao shrugged, avoiding Hanbin’s gaze. “It was fine. Just the usual. Dinner’s ready, so go shower and we’ll eat.”
Hanbin hesitated, sensing something was off, but he didn’t push. “Okay,” he said, giving Hao one last squeeze before heading to the bathroom.
When Hanbin returned, the table was set, and Haneul was already seated in her high chair, eagerly waiting for dinner. Hanbin sat down across from Hao, who was quietly serving the food. Haneul immediately reached for her spoon but then paused, looking up at Hanbin with her big, pleading eyes.
“Appa, feed me?” she asked, her voice sweet and innocent.
Hanbin chuckled. “Of course, my princess. Anything for you.”
Hao watched silently as Hanbin fed Haneul, his own food mostly untouched. He pushed the noodles around his plate, only taking small bites here and there. Hanbin noticed but didn’t say anything, instead focusing on Haneul, who was chattering away about her day.
“Appa, this yummy!” Haneul said, her mouth full of noodles. She held up a piece of pork on her fork, waving it around. “Look! Meat!”
Hanbin laughed, “Yes, it’s very yummy. Mama made it just for you.”
Haneul grinned, swinging her legs under the table. “Mama best cooker!” she declared proudly, as if it were a universal fact.
Hao managed a small smile at that, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said softly.
Haneul turned to Hanbin, her eyes wide with excitement as she swung her legs under the table. “Appa, I draw today!” she announced, her voice full of pride.
Hanbin raised his eyebrows, feigning surprise. “You did? What did you draw?”
Haneul grinned, holding up her hands as if framing a picture. “I draw Mama! And Appa! And me!” She pointed to herself, then to Hao, who was quietly pushing his food around his plate. “Mama say it pretty!”
Hanbin smiled, glancing at Hao, who gave a small nod but didn’t look up. “I bet it’s the prettiest drawing ever,” Hanbin said, turning back to Haneul. “Can I see it after dinner?”
Haneul nodded enthusiastically, her mouth full of noodles. “Yeah! I show you!”
Hanbin chuckled, wiping a bit of black bean sauce from her cheek. “Good. I can’t wait to see it.”
Haneul swallowed her food and pointed at her plate. “Appa, more noodles?”
Hanbin obliged, scooping up another bite for her. “Here you go, princess. But eat your veggies too, okay?”
Haneul made a face, poking at the diced zucchini in her bowl. “No like veggies…” she mumbled.
“But veggies make you strong,” Hanbin said, pretending to flex his muscles. “See? Appa eats veggies, and I’m super strong!”
Haneul giggled, shaking her head. “No, Appa silly!”
Hanbin grinned, feeding her a piece of zucchini along with the noodles. “There, see? Not so bad, right?”
Haneul chewed thoughtfully, then nodded. “Okay… but only little bit.”
Meanwhile, Hao stood up and began clearing the table, loading the dishes into the dishwasher and wiping down the counters. He moved quietly, his mind elsewhere. Haneul noticed and slid out of her high chair, toddling over to him.
“Mama, play with me?” she asked, tugging on his skirt.
Hao forced a small smile, crouching down to her level. “Not right now, sweetheart. Mama has to clean up. Why don’t you go play with Appa? He can help you with your counting sticks.”
Haneul pouted, her lower lip trembling. “But I want you to play too!”
Hao sighed, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I know, baby. But Mama has a lot to do. Go on, I’ll come find you later, okay?”
Haneul looked like she was about to protest, but Hanbin stepped in, scooping her up. “Hey, how about we start without Mama? I’ll help you with the counting sticks, and then when Mama’s done, he can join us. Sound good?”
Haneul nodded reluctantly, her pout fading as Hanbin carried her to the living room. Hao watched them go, his chest tightening with guilt. He hated brushing Haneul off, but he just couldn’t bring himself to focus on anything right now. He turned back to the dishes, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on the oven with more force than necessary.
—---------------------------
In the living room, Hanbin sat cross-legged on the floor with Haneul, spreading out the colorful counting sticks Hao had carefully chosen for her. It was one of the many educational games Hao had picked out, determined to make sure Haneul grow up smart and curious. Hanbin held up a red stick and two blue ones. “Okay, princess, how many sticks do we have here?”
Haneul tilted her head, her tiny fingers poking at the sticks. “One… two… three…” she counted slowly, her brow furrowing in concentration.
“That’s right!” Hanbin said, clapping his hands. “You’re so smart! Just like Mama and Appa.”
Haneul beamed, clearly proud of herself. “Mama say I smart!”
“Mama’s right,” Hanbin said, ruffling her hair. “Now, let’s see if you can count to five.”
As Hanbin helped Haneul with the sticks, Hao finished cleaning up and leaned against the counter, watching them from the kitchen. His heart ached at the sight of Haneul’s bright smile and Hanbin’s patient encouragement. He wanted to join them, to be present in the moment, but the weight of the day pressed down on him, making it hard to breathe.
As he stood there, another wave of nausea hit him. His stomach churned, and he barely had time to drop the dishcloth before he was running to the bathroom. Hanbin’s head snapped up at the sound of Hao’s hurried footsteps, his eyes narrowing with concern.
“Hao?” Hanbin called, half-standing from the floor, his eyes fixed on the bathroom door. His voice was laced with worry, but there was no response.
Before he could stand further, Haneul tugged on his sleeve, her tiny fingers clutching at his shirt. “Appa, count more?” she asked, holding up a handful of sticks. Her lower lip trembled, and her eyes were wide with a mix of confusion and frustration.
Hanbin hesitated, his gaze flicking between Haneul and the bathroom door. “Just a second, princess. Let me check on Mama first, okay?”
But Haneul wasn’t having it. Her face scrunched up, and her eyes filled with tears. “No! Count more!” she demanded, her voice rising as she stomped her little foot. “Count now!”
Hanbin’s heart sank as Haneul’s cries grew louder. She was definitely her mama’s daughter—stubborn and determined when she wanted something. He crouched down, trying to soothe her. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Appa’s here. Let’s count, okay?”
Haneul sniffled, her tears spilling over as she shoved the sticks toward him. “Count!” she insisted, her voice breaking.
Hanbin sighed, glancing once more at the bathroom door before sitting back down. “Okay, okay, we’ll count,” he said, forcing a smile as he wiped her tears with his thumb. “How many sticks do we have here?”
Haneul’s cries subsided into hiccups as she pointed at the sticks. “One… two…” she counted, her voice shaky but determined.
“That’s right!” Hanbin said, his tone encouraging even as his mind raced. “You’re doing so well. Let’s keep going.”
As Haneul continued counting, her tears drying as she focused on the task, Hanbin’s attention kept drifting to the bathroom door. He could hear faint sounds from inside—water running, maybe—but nothing that told him what was going on. His chest tightened with worry, but he couldn’t leave Haneul, not when she was so upset.
“Three… four…” Haneul counted, her voice growing steadier. She looked up at Hanbin, her eyes still glistening with tears but her expression now more focused. “Appa, your turn!”
Hanbin forced a smile, picking up a stick. “Five,” he said, holding it up. “See? You’re so good at this!”
Haneul beamed, her earlier distress forgotten as she clapped her hands. “I smart!”
“You’re the smartest,” Hanbin agreed, ruffling her hair. But his smile faltered as his eyes flicked back to the bathroom door. Hao, what’s going on? he thought, his worry growing with every passing second.
Haneul, oblivious to his inner turmoil, grabbed another handful of sticks and held them out to him. “Again, Appa!”
Hanbin nodded, his heart heavy as he turned back to her. “Okay, princess. Let’s count again.”
Hao didn’t come out of the bathroom for a while. It had been nearly 30 minutes, and Hanbin’s worry grew with every passing second. Hao had seemed so distant all evening, and rushing to the bathroom like that only added to Hanbin’s unease. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
“Haneul,” Hanbin said gently, turning to his daughter, who was still playing with the counting sticks. “Appa’s going to check on Mama, okay? You stay here and keep counting.”
Haneul looked up at him, her big eyes filled with concern. “Mama okay?” she asked, her voice small.
Hanbin forced a smile, ruffling her hair. “Mama’s fine, princess. Don’t worry. I’ll be right back.”
Haneul nodded, though her brow remained furrowed as she turned back to her sticks. Hanbin stood up, his heart pounding as he walked to the bathroom. He knocked lightly on the door before pushing it open. “Hao? Everything okay?” he asked, his voice soft but laced with worry.
When he stepped inside, he found Hao sitting on the small ledge outside the bathtub, his legs stretched on the floor as he stared at a pregnancy test in his hands. Hanbin’s eyes quickly scanned the room, landing on three other tests lined up on the sink. His breath caught in his throat. Oh gosh, he thought. Was this why Hao was off all day?
Hanbin wasn’t sure how Hao was feeling—shocked, scared, overwhelmed?—so he did the only thing he could think of. He walked over, wrapped his arms around Hao, and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “We’ll figure it out,” Hanbin murmured, his voice steady and reassuring. “Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together.”
Hao didn’t respond at first. He just sat there, staring at the test in his hands. Then, slowly, he lifted his gaze to meet Hanbin’s. “I’m pregnant,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Hanbin’s breath hitched, but he didn’t let go. He had suspected as much, but hearing it out loud made it real. He nodded, his hands squeezing Hao’s knees gently. “Okay,” he said simply. “We’ll handle it.”
Hao’s eyes filled with tears, and he looked away, his voice trembling as he spoke. “I’ve known for weeks,” he admitted. “I just… I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to think about it.”
Hanbin’s heart ached at the pain in Hao’s voice. He reached up, gently cupping Hao’s face and turning it back toward him. “Hey,” he said softly, his thumb brushing away a tear. “It’s okay. You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m here, okay? I’m always here.”
Hao’s breath shuddered as he leaned into Hanbin’s touch. “I’m scared,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “What if it’s like it was with Haneul? What if I can’t handle it? I don’t think I can go through that again, Hanbin. I just… I can’t.”
Hanbin’s chest tightened at Hao’s words. He remembered all too well how hard it had been for Hao during his first pregnancy—the physical pain, the emotional toll, the endless nights of worry and exhaustion. The thought of Hao going through that again terrified him too. He didn’t have the right words to say, didn’t know how to make it better. So he did the only thing he could: he pulled Hao closer, wrapping his arms around him so tightly that Hao’s breath hitched.
“I’m scared too,” Hanbin admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want you to go through that again either. But whatever happens, we’ll face it together. You’re not alone, Hao. Not now, not ever.”
Hao buried his face in Hanbin’s shoulder, his body trembling as he clung to him. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough,” he whispered, his voice muffled against Hanbin’s shirt.
“You are,” Hanbin said firmly, his arms tightening around Hao. “You’re the strongest person I know. And I’ll be here every step of the way. I promise.”
They stayed like that for a while, Hanbin holding Hao as if he could shield him from the world. But then, a soft knocking sound interrupted the silence. The bathroom door creaked open slightly, and a tiny voice called out, “Mama? Appa? YOu here?”
Haneul stood in the doorway, her little hands fumbling with the door as she tried to push it open further. When she saw Hao and Hanbin, her face lit up, and she toddled over to them, her tiny feet pattering against the floor. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around Hao’s leg, hugging him tightly.
“Mama,” she said softly, her voice filled with a kind of innocent understanding that only a child could have. “You okay?”
Hao looked down at her, his heart swelling with love even as tears filled his eyes. He reached down and gently picked her up, holding her close. “I’m okay, sweetheart,” he said, his voice shaky but warm. “Mama’s just… having a hard day.”
Haneul nodded solemnly, as if she understood more than she let on. She reached up and patted Hao’s cheek with her tiny hand. “It’s okay, Mama,” she said. “I here.”
Hao’s breath hitched, and he pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank you, my little star,” he whispered.
Hanbin watched them, his heart aching with love and worry. He reached out, brushing a hand over Haneul’s hair before pulling both Hao and Haneul into his arms. “We’re all here,” he said softly. “And we’ll get through this together. All of us.”
Hao nodded, his tears spilling over as he held Haneul close and leaned into Hanbin’s embrace.
—---------------------------
After putting Haneul to bed, Hao and Hanbin sat on either side of her, their little girl nestled between them. She had asked Hanbin to sing for her tonight, and he obliged, his voice soft and soothing as he sang her favorite lullaby. Haneul’s eyes grew heavy, but she wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet.
“Appa,” she said, her voice drowsy but insistent. “Check for monsters.”
Hanbin chuckled, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Monsters, huh? You think there are monsters under your bed?”
Haneul nodded seriously, her tiny face scrunching up in determination. “Check, Appa. Please?” She pointed a tiny finger toward the edge of the bed, as if directing him to the exact spot where the monsters might be hiding.
Hanbin pretended to groan dramatically, sliding off the bed. “Alright, alright, I’m on monster duty,” he said, crouching down and peeking under the bed. He made a show of it, even pulling out a toy car and a stray sock for effect. “Hmm… let’s see… no monsters here. Just a few dust bunnies and maybe a lost sock. Oh, and your toy car! I think it’s been hiding from you.”
Haneul giggled, clapping her hands. “No monsters! Yay!” She reached for the toy car, clutching it to her chest like a treasure. “Thank you, Appa.”
Hanbin climbed back onto the bed, settling beside Haneul again. “All clear, princess. No monsters tonight.”
Haneul nodded, satisfied, then turned to Hao, her eyes wide and pleading. “Mama, story now?”
Hao’s heart melted at her request. “Of course, sweetheart,” he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “What kind of story do you want?”
Haneul thought for a moment, her tiny brow furrowing in concentration. “Dragon story,” she decided, her eyes lighting up. “With the princess and the dragon! And… and a castle!”
Hao smiled, brushing a hand over her hair. “You’ve got it,” he said, launching into a tale about a brave princess who befriended a dragon and went on adventures together. He added details as he went, making the princess look just like Haneul and the dragon a friendly, glittery creature who loved to dance. Haneul listened intently, her eyes wide with wonder, until her eyelids grew heavy and she finally drifted off to sleep, her tiny fingers still clutching the toy car.
Just as she was about to fall asleep, she murmured softly, “I love you, Mama and Appa. Best Mama and Appa.” Her voice was barely audible, but the words hit Hao and Hanbin like a wave, filling the room with warmth.
Hao’s breath caught in his throat, and he looked at Hanbin, who was smiling softly, his eyes glistening. They sat there for a moment, watching her peaceful face, the soft rise and fall of her chest as she slept. It was a moment so perfect, so fragile, that Hao felt his heart ache with love.
Hanbin leaned over to press a kiss to Hao’s temple before standing up. “Come on,” he said softly. “Let’s let her sleep.”
They left Haneul’s room quietly, closing the door behind them. In the living room, Hao sank onto the couch, his mind racing again after quieting down with Haneul earlier. Hanbin sat beside him, his expression serious but gentle. “We need to talk,” he said, his voice soft but firm.
Hao nodded, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He knew this conversation was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier.
Hanbin reached over, taking Hao’s hand in his. “It’s your decision,” he said firmly, his eyes locked on Hao’s. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you. If you want to keep the baby, we’ll make it work. If you don’t… that’s okay too. It’s your body, your choice. I just want you to be sure about what you want.”
Hao’s breath hitched, and he looked down at their joined hands. “I don’t know yet,” he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I need some time to think about it.”
Hanbin nodded, squeezing his hand. “Take all the time you need, love. I’m here, no matter what. We’ll figure this out together, just like we always do.”
Hao’s eyes filled with tears, and he leaned into Hanbin’s side, resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m scared,” he whispered. “What if I make the wrong choice? What if I can’t handle it?”
“There’s no wrong choice,” Hanbin said, his voice steady and reassuring. “Whatever you decide, it’ll be the right one for you. And for us. We’ll make it work, Hao. We always do.”
Hao nodded, his tears spilling over as he clung to Hanbin’s hand. “I just… I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to mess us up.”
“You won’t,” Hanbin said firmly, turning to face Hao and cupping his face in his hands. “You’re the strongest person I know, Hao. And no matter what happens, we’ll face it together. You, me, and Haneul. That’s what matters.”
Hao looked into Hanbin’s eyes, searching for any hint of doubt or hesitation. But all he found was love—steady, unwavering love. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice breaking.
“I love you too,” Hanbin replied, his voice just as soft. He pressed a gentle kiss to Hao’s lips, lingering for a moment before pulling back. “We’ll get through this.”
As they moved to their bedroom, Hao headed straight for the shower, letting the hot water wash away the exhaustion of the day. He stepped out and dried himself off before slipping into his favorite nightgown - a soft lavender-colored one made of fluffy brushed cotton that fell just under his ass cheeks. The familiar comfort of the fabric against his skin was a small relief after such an emotionally draining day.
Hanbin was already in bed when Hao emerged from the bathroom, scrolling through his phone with one hand while the other patted the space beside him in invitation. "Come here," he said softly, locking his phone and setting it aside.
Hao padded across the room and instead of sitting beside him, he pushed Hanbin down onto the mattress and climbed on top of him, burying his face in the crook of Hanbin's neck with a tired sigh. Hanbin's arms immediately came up to wrap around him, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his bare spine where the nightgown had slipped down.
They lay like that for a quiet moment before Hao murmured against Hanbin's skin, "I got slut-shamed today."
Hanbin's hands froze mid-caress. Gently but firmly, he pushed Hao up by the shoulders to look at his face. "What?" His voice was sharp with concern, but Hao just looked back at him with exhausted eyes, all the fight drained out of him.
So Hao told him everything - about the woman at the park, her cruel assumptions and cutting remarks, how she'd reduced him to nothing more than a gold-digging whore in her narrow-minded view. As he spoke, Hanbin's expression darkened, his jaw tightening with each new detail.
When Hao finished, Hanbin pulled him close again, pressing a firm kiss to his forehead. "Listen to me," he said, voice thick with conviction. " You're not just the best mother our daughter could ask for, but you're also my partner who held my hand through every crisis. Not a single thing a bitter stranger says can change that."
Hao exhaled shakily, some of the tension leaving his shoulders as Hanbin continued, "Yeah, we're a young couple figuring things out. So what? We're building our family our way. As long as we're happy and our baby is safe, everyone else can fuck right off." He punctuated this with a playful squeeze to Hao's hip. "Besides, they're probably just jealous I landed the hottest wife in the country."
Hao’s breath hitched as Hanbin’s hands began a familiar, torturous exploration—one palm sliding up the curve of his thigh beneath the silk nightgown, fingers pressing into soft skin with possessive intent. The other hand cupped the swell of his chest, thumb brushing over his nipple through the thin fabric, already peaked and sensitive. Hanbin’s touch was deliberate, savoring, as if he wanted to memorize every shiver he pulled from Hao’s body.
"Mmm, and what a wife you are," Hanbin murmured against the flushed skin of Hao’s neck, his lips trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses up to his jaw. "Beautiful," he nipped, "smart," another bite, "fucking sinful—" His teeth dragged over Hao’s pulse point, and Hao gasped, fingers tangling in Hanbin’s hair as if to both pull him closer and push him away.
Before Hao could retaliate, Hanbin flipped them in one smooth motion, pressing Hao into the mattress, his body a solid weight between Hao’s thighs. The sudden shift knocked the breath from Hao’s lungs—not just from the movement, but from the way Hanbin looked down at him, dark eyes burning with possession.
"Would you let me take care of you tonight?" Hanbin repeated, voice rough as his hands slid under the hem of Hao’s nightgown, palms skimming up the sensitive skin of his waist. "Just lay there like the pretty princess you are, huh?"
Hao arched beneath him, torn between defiance and surrender. "You’re— ah— pushing your luck tonight," he breathed, but the way his legs instinctively tightened around Hanbin’s hips betrayed him.
Hanbin smirked, leaning down to lick a slow stripe up Hao’s throat. "You love it," he murmured, fingers dipping beneath fabric, teasing. "Love when I spoil you. When I make you feel so good you forget your own name."
Hao’s hips jerked, a whimper catching in his throat. "Cocky bastard—"
"Yours," Hanbin agreed easily, biting down on the tender spot where neck met shoulder, just hard enough to make Hao cry out. "Now be good and let me worship you, princess."
"You talk too much Hanbin," Hao breathed, though his hips ground instinctively, seeking friction. Hanbin chuckled, the sound dark and rich, vibrating against Hao’s throat as his wandering hand slipped higher, fingertips teasing the dampening fabric between Hao’s legs.
"You love my mouth," Hanbin countered, sucking a bruise into the hollow of Hao’s collarbone. "Just not for talking."
Hao’s breath hitched as Hanbin’s fingers pressed down, rubbing slow, torturous circles over his cock. The fabric was sheer enough that he could feel every ridge of Hanbin’s fingerprints, every deliberate stroke—maddeningly light, never enough. "Fuck— Hanbin," he hissed, arching into the touch.
"Mm, so pretty when you’re desperate," Hanbin murmured, dragging his palm up the length of him, savoring the way Hao’s thighs trembled. "You gonna beg? Or just keep squirming?"
Hao dug his nails into Hanbin’s shoulder, torn between shoving him away and pulling him closer. "I’m gonna strangle you if you don’t— ah!" The threat dissolved into a moan as Hanbin finally palmed him fully, squeezing just shy of rough.
"If I don’t what?" Hanbin teased, his other hand sliding beneath the nightgown to grope Hao’s ass, pulling him flush against his own hardening length. "Use your words, princess."
Hao groaned, half frustration, half want. "Just hurry up and— fuck!" His demand was cut off as Hanbin ducked his head, biting down on the sensitive peak of his chest through the fabric, tongue swirling wet and hot.
Hanbin pulled back just enough to smirk up at him, fingers still working Hao’s cock with infuriating precision. "Say please."
Hao’s hips jerked. "Bastard."
"Close enough."
Before Hao could say anything, Hanbin suddenly sat back, reaching for the lube on the nightstand. In one smooth motion, he grabbed the hem of Hao’s nightgown and yanked it up and off, tossing it aside, leaving Hao bare beneath him—every inch of skin flushed and exposed.
Hanbin’s gaze raked over him, dark and hungry, before he let out a low chuckle. "You do look like you’re pregnant," he mused, dragging his palms over Hao’s hips, his stomach—"Softer. Fuller."
Hao scoffed, breathless. "No shit," he panted, arching into Hanbin’s touch. "That’s what happens when you knock me up— ah!"
Hanbin cut him off with a searing kiss, biting at his lip before pulling back to admire him again. "Fuck, you’re so hot like this," he murmured, hands roaming possessively over Hao’s body—his thickened waist, the incredibly subtle swell of his stomach, the way his thighs had filled out just enough for Hanbin to grip them tighter. "Mine. All mine."
His mouth followed where his hands had been, biting and sucking marks into Hao’s skin, worshipping every new curve, every inch of him that had changed because of him.
Hao writhed, fingers twisting in the sheets. "Quit— hngh— admiring and fuck me already—"
Hanbin nipped at his inner thigh, the sharp little bite making Hao jolt as his fingers dug into the sheets. The sting faded into warmth almost immediately, replaced by the soft, wet heat of Hanbin's tongue laving over the same spot in apology. "So impatient," Hanbin teased, his breath ghosting over Hao's oversensitive skin. He could feel Hanbin's smirk against his thigh, the way his lips curved as he pressed one last kiss to the trembling muscle before finally—finally—sliding his hand higher.
The first brush of slick fingers against his entrance drew a punched-out whine from Hao's throat, his hips twitching up instinctively. Hanbin tutted, using his free hand to pin Hao's hip firmly to the mattress. "No," he chided, rubbing slow, maddening circles without pressing in. "You'll get what I give you, princess. And right now..." His fingertip pressed just enough to make Hao's breath hitch. "...I think you need to be patient a little longer."
Hao whimpered, the sound embarrassingly high as Hanbin continued to tease, dragging his slick fingers up and down, occasionally applying the barest pressure before pulling away completely. Every nerve ending felt alight, his entire body strung tight with anticipation. "Bin—" he gasped, fingers twisting in the sheets. "Please—"
The plea was cut off by a sharp cry as Hanbin finally, finally pressed a finger inside without warning, curling it just so on the way in. Hao's back arched off the bed, stars bursting behind his eyelids as that clever finger stroked over that perfect spot again. "There we go," Hanbin murmured, his voice dripping with satisfaction as he watched Hao unravel beneath him. "That's it, sweetheart. Just like that."
He added a second finger before Hao could catch his breath, the stretch burning so good, his toes curling against the sheets. Hanbin's fingers moved with purpose now, scissoring gently before crooking just right, over and over until Hao was a writhing, gasping mess. Every drag of those fingers sent white-hot pleasure up his spine, his cock leaking pathetically against his stomach.
"But don't worry, princess," Hanbin breathed against his thigh, his voice dark with promise as he twisted his fingers just so, wrenching another broken cry from Hao's lips. A third finger joined, the stretch bordering on too much, but Hanbin's free hand was there to soothe, rubbing gentle circles into Hao's hip. "I'll take real good care of you."
And oh, he did. His fingers pistoned in and out with devastating precision, curling relentlessly against that spot inside Hao that made him see stars. Every thrust was calculated, every twist of his wrist designed to wring another gasp, another whimper from Hao's kiss-swollen lips. The wet sounds were obscene in the quiet room, Hao's ragged breathing and punched-out moans the only other soundtrack to his undoing.
Hanbin's pinky brushed over his rim, applying just enough pressure to make Hao sob, then sliding in with the rest oh his fingers. Hao screamed, his thighs trembling violently. "That's it," Hanbin praised, his voice rough. "Look at you, taking me so well. So perfect." His fingers sped up, the angle shifting slightly to press harder, deeper— "Come on, sweetheart. Let me feel you."
Hao came with a strangled cry, his vision whiting out as pleasure crashed over him in waves, his body clamping down around Hanbin's fingers as they worked him through it. His back arched off the bed, thighs trembling, his stomach painted in streaks of his own release. Hanbin watched with dark, hungry eyes, drinking in the sight—Hao unraveling beneath him, his lips parted in breathless gasps, his skin flushed and glistening with sweat.
Hanbin didn’t give him a moment to recover. He pulled his fingers free, ignoring Hao’s oversensitive whimper, and shoved his sweats and boxers down in one rough motion, kicking them aside.
His cock sprang free, thick and flushed, already leaking at the tip. He didn’t bother with lube—not when Hao’s cum was right there, slick and warm on his stomach.
With a filthy grin, Hanbin dragged his fingers through the mess, gathering it in his palm before wrapping his fist around his length, stroking himself with Hao’s spend. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he worked himself over, spreading the sticky wetness, his hips jerking into his own grip.
Then, just to see Hao’s eyes widen, he brought his fingers down to Hao's cum puddle and picked up a good amount to push it to his mouth and licked his knuckles one by one, slowly, tongue curling around them. “Fuck,” Hao choked out, watching with parted lips as Hanbin swallowed his taste. “You’re—god, you’re disgusting.”
Hanbin just smirked. “Liar.” He leaned down, catching Hao’s mouth in a messy, open-mouthed kiss, letting him taste himself on Hanbin’s tongue. “You love it,” he murmured against his lips.
“So sweet,” voice rough. “Always so fucking sweet for me.” Hao flushed, his spent cock giving a weak twitch at the praise—and at the way Hanbin was looking at him like he wanted to devour him all over again.
He whined, high and desperate, his hands scrambling at Hanbin’s shoulders, his hips lifting off the bed in a silent plea. “Inside,” he demanded, nails digging in. “Now, now—”
Hanbin chuckled, nipping at his lower lip before pulling back just enough to tease. “Still so impatient.” He lined himself up, the head of his cock pressing against Hao’s slick, stretched entrance—but he didn’t push in. Not yet.
Instead, he dragged the tip through the mess, circling lazily, watching the way Hao’s breath hitched, his thighs trembling with the effort of holding still.
“Hanbin,” Hao gritted out, his voice cracking.
“Hm?” Hanbin tilted his head, feigning innocence even as his cock twitched against Hao’s rim, teasing just the barest hint of pressure. “You want something?”
Hao let out a frustrated noise, his fingers twisting in the sheets. “You know what I want—”
“Do I?” Hanbin dragged the tip lower, rubbing against his perineum, just to hear Hao’s breath stutter. “You’ll have to be clearer than that, baby.”
Hao’s teeth sank into his lower lip, his pride warring with the desperate need coiling in his gut. He hated begging—hated how Hanbin, on certain days, made him unravel like this, reduced to nothing but a whimpering mess beneath him. But Hanbin was relentless, his patience infinite when it came to dragging every last broken plea from Hao’s lips.
Finally, with a shuddering exhale, Hao caved.
“Please,” he whispered, his voice wrecked. “Please, fuck me—”
Hanbin’s grin was downright predatory. “Please what?” He pressed forward, just the barest inch, before pulling back again, laughing at the way Hao’s hips chased him. “Say it properly.”
Hao’s nails raked down his back, his breath coming in short, frantic gasps. “Please—fuck me, Gege, please, I need you—need you inside, please—”
The words spilled out in a rush, desperate and sweet, and Hanbin rewarded him with a deep, filthy kiss, swallowing every last whimper as he finally, finally pushed inside in one smooth thrust.
Hao’s back arched, his mouth falling open in a silent cry as Hanbin filled him, stretching him wide, burying himself to the hilt in one relentless motion.
“There,” Hanbin groaned, his hands gripping Hao’s hips, holding him still as he bottomed out. “Fuck, you take me so good—”
He didn’t give Hao time to adjust—didn’t need to, not when Hao was already clenching around him, his body greedy and pliant, molded perfectly to Hanbin’s cock.
But just to be cruel, just to hear Hao beg again, Hanbin started slow.
Excruciatingly slow.
He pulled out almost all the way, dragging his cock through the tight clutch of Hao’s body, before sinking back in with a lazy roll of his hips.
Hao whined, high and broken, his fingers scrabbling at Hanbin’s shoulders. “Faster,” he demanded, his voice shaking.
Hanbin just chuckled, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “No.” Another slow, deliberate thrust, his cock grinding deep inside, hitting that spot that made Hao’s toes curl. “Not until you beg prettier.”
Hao let out a frustrated noise, his nails biting into Hanbin’s skin. “I already begged—”
“Mm, not enough.” Hanbin stilled completely, his cock buried deep, his hips flush against Hao’s ass. “Try again.”
Hao hated him.
With a shuddering breath, Hao tilted his head back, exposing the long line of his throat, his lashes fluttering as he looked up at Hanbin through hooded eyes.
“Please,” he whispered, his voice sweet and broken. “Please, hyung, fuck me harder—I need it, need you to fill me up—”
Hanbin’s breath caught, his grip tightening on Hao’s hips.
Fuck.
Hao knew exactly what he was doing.
With a growl, Hanbin slammed back in, setting a punishing pace, his hips snapping forward in sharp, brutal thrusts. Hao’s moans spilled freely now, loud and shameless, his legs wrapping around Hanbin’s waist, pulling him deeper.
“There—” Hao gasped, his head thrashing against the pillows. “There, right there—!”
Hanbin’s hand slid up Hao’s stomach, pressing down just above his pelvis, right where his cock was buried deep inside. “You feel that?” he panted, his voice rough. “Feel how deep I am?”
Hao nodded frantically, his nails scraping down Hanbin’s back.
“How good am I for you, huh?” Hanbin’s thrusts grew sharper, his cock driving into Hao with relentless precision. “Tell me.”
“So good—” Hao choked out, his back arching. “Fuck me—fuck me so good—”
Hanbin leaned down, his lips brushing Hao’s ear. “Good enough to knock you up?”
Hao’s breath hitched, his hips jerking.
Hanbin grinned, his teeth scraping over Hao’s pulse point. “You already got one baby in here,” he murmured, his hand pressing harder against Hao’s stomach. “Should I put another one in you? Right next to it?”
Hao’s moan was filthy, his thighs trembling.
“Should I plug you full?” Hanbin’s pace turned brutal, his cock pistoning in and out, his balls slapping against Hao’s ass. “Keep you stuffed with my cum all the time? Make sure you never go empty?”
Hao couldn’t even form words anymore—just broken, pleading noises, his body tightening around Hanbin like a vice.
Hanbin groaned, his hips stuttering. “Fuck—gonna fill you up, baby, gonna pump you so full—”
Hao came with a sob, his body clamping down, his cock spurting untouched between them. Hanbin followed with a groan, burying himself deep as he spilled inside, his cum flooding Hao’s already well-used hole, dripping out around his cock as he kept thrusting lazily through it.
When he finally stilled, panting against Hao's neck, Hao let out a weak, oversensitive whimper.
Hanbin kissed his jaw, his voice smug. "Good boy."
Hao smacked his shoulder weakly, but couldn't stop the smile tugging at his lips.
Hanbin pressed one last kiss to his temple before rolling away, though his fingers lingered on Hao's hip like he was reluctant to let go entirely. "Stay there," he murmured. "I'll clean us up."
Hao made a vague noise of protest but Hanbin was already slipping out of bed, the bedroom door left ajar as he padded down the short hallway to their bathroom. The sound of running water carried through the open door, mingling with the quiet hum of their apartment at night.
When Hanbin returned, the damp cloth in his hand was warm as he gently wiped the sweat from Hao's skin, carefully cleaning between his thighs where Hao was still sensitive. Hao shivered but didn't pull away, letting himself be cared for in this intimate way, his muscles loose and pliant against the sheets.
"There," Hanbin murmured, tossing the cloth toward the hamper before sliding back into bed. He gathered Hao against his chest, tucking him into the curve of his body like he was something precious. Hao sighed, boneless, his cheek finding its familiar place over Hanbin's heartbeat.
For a long moment they simply breathed together, the afterglow settling over them like a second blanket. Then Hanbin's fingers began tracing idle patterns over Hao's stomach, his touch light but purposeful.
"Tomorrow," he murmured into Hao's hair, "we'll make pancakes with Haneul." His palm settled warm and heavy over Hao's abdomen. "And maybe... we can start thinking about how to tell her she might be a big sister soon. No rush. No pressure. Just possibilities."
Hao tensed slightly, just enough for Hanbin to notice. Without hesitation, Hanbin shifted until he could see Hao's face in the dim light, their noses brushing as he searched Hao's expression.
"I know you know," Hanbin whispered, his thumb stroking along Hao's cheekbone, "that I have a thing for knocking you up."
Hao huffed a quiet laugh, though his breath caught in his chest.
"But I need you to know—really know—that it's your choice. Always." Hanbin kissed Hao's forehead, lingering there as if sealing a promise. "No matter what I've said, no matter how much I've teased... I won't be happy with this if it's just for me. If you feel swayed. If you're not completely sure." His voice dropped, rough with sincerity. "I want you happy first. Everything else comes after."
Hao's throat tightened. He reached up to tangle their fingers together, bringing Hanbin's knuckles to his lips in a silent kiss. "I know," he whispered against their joined hands.
Hanbin studied his face for a long moment before nodding, satisfied. He pulled Hao closer, tucking him securely under his chin where the steady rhythm of his heartbeat could lull Hao toward sleep. "Good," he murmured into the darkness. "Then we're on the same page."
Hao closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Hanbin's body and the safety of his arms chase away the last lingering doubts. When Hanbin felt the dampness of Hao's lashes against his skin, he said nothing—just held him tighter, his hand splayed protectively over Hao's stomach as they drifted toward sleep together.
Hao woke up feeling better rested than he had in the whole two months since his symptoms started.