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1x1x1x1 examined his surroundings. A new round had begun, with none other than the embodiment of Telamon’s hatred himself. It was not just a new round, for it was his first round.
Their eyes narrowed, vision blurring over as the object of their hatred was revealed to them, along with a group of nobodies. Oh, it longed to chase after Shedletsky and make sure he died first, but it would not do. More kills gave it more time, and so…
“Feel my entanglement!”
The gambler was an easy kill. Part of the 1%. One follow up of a mass infection ended his chances of survival, never mind the cheese, tomato sauce, pepperoni, and bread combination next to his corpse. The one standing next to him had dodged, however, and 1x1x1x1 was barely able to make the figure out.
“All invis people will be cleansed,” it intoned, and 1x1x1x1 chased after him. That clone was annoying it. Unfortunately for the survivor, its next entanglement his both him and his clone.
1x1x1x1 slashed him while he was trapped. “Get cleansed!” it growled. “The SMP will be reset in terms of life!”
“Bro, this is not LifeSteal Season Three!” shouted some white and grey thing with a tail. As soon as the clone one died, that one would be next.
“This is… harming arrows!” it shouted out, finally sending the one with a burger hat to sleep with with the fishes. Or the dolphin tunnels, if they came back after this round. “I am like SpokeIsHere, for real, for real.”
The white and grey one had vanished, leaving only a cheesed pepperoni bread that it did not pick up. 1x1x1x1 activated its x-ray texture pack in order to get back on the offensive… It missed, two times with both ranged attacks, and then crashed into a tree. This was fine, because Telamon had also missed when he ran up to 1x1x1x1 and swung his sword.
“You are NOT Clownpierce,” quoth 1x1x1x1 upon seeing that “Piercer” was engraved on the linked sword. “Piercer” was not engraved on the sword, and 1x1x1x1 needed glasses.
1x1x1x1 decided to forgo the ranged attacks this time and just stab Shedletsky. This did not work.
“FEEL MY COBWEBS!”
The swords that hit Telamon were not, in fact, cobwebs. This may have been why he was able to kill-
Taph had switched places with him while 1x1x1x1 wasn’t looking. That did explain the pink tint to their vision, now that they thought of it. And the string around its feet.
Unfortunately, that disgusting creature known to others as Shedletsky would have time to heal up with that disgusting chicken since Taph died for him. How dubious. He was so getting cleansed.
“Get cleansed, newb,” 1x1x1x1 muttered, just for the satisfaction of it. He side stepped as a laser beam tried to hit him. These survivors were like PlanetLord prior to season five.
And then the grey thing emoted on him, poked him in the back of his head, shouted that its name was, “Two Time”, and emoted again.
It would suffice to say that Two Time was no more, but a slightly more detailed explanation was the following:
1x1x1x1 mass infection’d them at point blank range. Two Time, oddly enough, did not flee. The second life was not much use when it did not even run after it lost its first. The magic staff guy had fled in the middle of it.
“Next time, try three lives… cleansing.”
“Unstable eye of… finding people to cleanse!” announced 1x1x1x1, who, despite his long hair, was not actually trapped in a hyperbolic time chamber by his minions, and he just wanted to look cool. It was very majestic of him.
They were all on that cliff side, too high for his ranged attacks to reach, and too far for him to catch them by surprise. He turned around to check if he could have missed someone-
Sword to the face.
“Gah… You’re going to pay for that. Get cleansed-“
1x1x1x1 hated a Telamon a lot, but he seemed to hate him just a bit more when he joined the other survivors before 1x1x1x1 could even recover from that stun.
He dashed towards them when the yellow and blue one accidentally fell off the side. Foolishness. “Harming arrow spam!” 1x1x1x1 called out before entangling and mass infection’ng them to death. Yeah, get cleansed.
“I’m like Mapicc… Yeah.” 1x1x1x1 was gaining so many hearts from his killing spree. Metaphorical ones, but if this were LifeSteal he’d be at 15.
The three survivors were still up there. If only he could throw a brick at them. Alas, it was not a very c00l kidd, and so he could not. The boring way it was.
Predictably, they all jumped off the moment he was halfway up the stairs. The one wearing red and a visor was attempting to hide by standing against the wall.
“Get cleansed like it’s season 3. Yeah, get cleansed. Cheese, pepperoni, and bread don’t even taste good together. Quit your job. You have poor taste, survivor..”
The one with poor taste was not, in fact, the survivor.
A laser beam struck his glorious hair. It didn’t slow 1x1x1x1 down at all, and now the wizard one was dead. What was his name, anyway? Dust cat? Dusky car? Dusekkar.
“Ez,” whispered 1x1x1x1 to the dead body, pronouncing it like ‘Eee zed’.
It pushed up imaginary glasses on its face, blurring all unnecessary details out of focus so that it could see only what was needed. Only one left.
It crooned, “Oh, Tel-a-mon! I see you-“
“#### #### it,” were the eloquent words that followed after a sword hit their face a second time. How he despised the filter.
“I am going to cleanse you, Shedletsky! Mark my words! Mark them, John! I, and I alone, shall be the true master of the heights!”
These words would be more intimidating if it did not just miss a mass infection.
They did not gain any intimidation when he did hit an entanglement.
“Telamon, it is time for you to meet your Creation of Hatred! I cast necromancy. Rise!”
While he was casting necromancy, Telamon was getting as far away as inhumanly possible.
After reaching the little hideout in the corner of the map, he stopped to take a nap. That’s when 1x1x1x1 attacked!
“Feel my entanglement!”
Poor Shedletsky didn’t dodge.
“This is just part of my candy crushing! Yeah, get cleansed. Get cleansed, Telamon. Muahahahaha…”
Sword to the face. This was getting old. What wasn’t getting old, however, was seeing Telamon suffer from poison!
It slashed at him with both swords, missing horribly and giving him the chance to flee. This was fine.
“Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies,” it sang, trying not to reveal how incredibly annoyed it was at Shedletsky somehow managing to avoid every single attack. Just one hit, and he would win. That creature was barely alive!
One more hit, five more seconds…
“GET CLEANSED!”
Shedletsky toppled over, not a speck of hatred on his face. That was fine. 1x1x1x1 hated him enough for them both, and the sight of his dead body was more than enough. Now, he could return to the Heights and-
Crud. He was trapped… Eh, 1x1x1x1 would probably get to kill more. Not bad for his first time out of the killer’s lobby. Plus, more cleansing for the esteemed 1x1x1x1. Yeah, this was totally LifeSteal season 3.