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Chapter Text

He was so unfathomably bored and stressed out. His phone was chrome casting onto the mounted television, pumping out the low droning of Playboi Carti's latest song rhythmically from his YouTube music playlist turned down low enough that he could hear throughout the parlor.

He thought he would get a fresh start when he moved to Seoul from Daegu. He got a new lease on life and opened a new tattoo parlor, since he left his last place of employment so unceremoniously by throwing a case of barbells for piercing at a wall. It was right after finding his ex-girlfriend and his friend and employer behind the display case, his penis down her throat.

Every time he remembered what he saw, it made his blood boil.

He went out behind his shop to smoke a cigarette and get some fresh air. Hyunsuk knew it was counterintuitive and didn't make sense, but the combination of doing those two things kept him sane.

He looked through his Instagram feed at all the fashion brands he followed, stopping when he saw his favorite actor… Well, he's only played in one film overseas so far that he watched over and over again, playing the role of a dual gun-wielding anti-hero in a dystopian future Earth in the Universal Studios film.

He even purchased an action figure of the character and had it in one of the display cases that customers could see when walking through the entrance of his parlor.
The actor, Park Jihoon, was previously known to play romantic roles in Korea, usually second lead in dramas, but recently starred in an action thriller series to then leap into being an action star known internationally. He had a new clothing brand that fit his hard-core aesthetic. Hyunsuk owned a couple of the brands’ shoe collabs and jeans, along with some accessories.

Jihoon looked more like a rock star than an actor, and despite Hyunsuk mainly preferring hip hop and R&B, he enjoyed all the music and downloaded the celebrity’s EP, which he had recently added to all his playlists. His voice was insane. His husky tone rivaled anything in the current top fifteen, in his opinion. To say that Hyunsuk was a fanboy was an understatement.

He'd always sort of had an obsessive personality, but not to an unhealthy extent where it consumed his life, but to the point that... He was a hoarder. Hyunsuk could admit when he had a problem, and he did. His parlor was well-organized, and the decorations of the place looked like a nine-year-old boy's toy store fantasy, but everything had its place. His apartment, on the other hand…

He had lived in his apartment for half a year now and still hadn’t fully unpacked the overwhelming number of boxes throughout the place. Hyunsuk preferred to stay in the parlor instead of being at home.

“Hyung?” Haruto, one of his artist employees, peeked his head from behind the door.

“Are you out here moping?” The younger Japanese man smirked at him.

“Not moping, just relaxing a little.” He stubbed out his cigarette into the ashtray sitting on the lone chair by the bushes.

“Well, your 6:00 is here.” He stretched the tension out in his neck as he stood. Pocketing his phone as he entered and washed his hands. He smiled at his customer, a girl who looked younger than the age put on the liability release form online he told her to fill out. He raised one of his bleached eyebrows at her.

“Hello, so.. You have your parent or guardian with you for your Medusa?” He asked.

“I’m nineteen.” She blurted.

“...Uh-huh?” He answered, simply putting down the box of latex gloves he was about to put on. “Do you have your ID on you?” He walked up to her.

“I forgot it at home.” She quickly answered, trying to smile at him in a flirty way.

“I’m sure you did, but I legally can’t pierce you without an ID from you.” He crossed his arms.

“Come on.. What if I come back with an adult- I mean another adult!” She slipped up.

Hyunsuk sighed. “Just… bring your mom next time.” He was exasperated by the obvious teenage girl trying to pull a fast one on him. She pouted, stomping her foot.

“Dwarf..” She said under her breath before storming out. He gaped at her, not expecting the insult. Haruto turned facing the wall away from the man he was tattooing, trying to suppress his laughter. Even his client was smiling.

“Ruto, it’s not funny!” He stormed up the stairs now officially pissed off.

“Hyung what’s wrong?” Asahi, the newest artist to the parlor, was looking for transfer paper in his little current living space that was originally their storage room.

“Kids trying to get piercings without their parent's permission again… I’m gonna go next door to the hookah lounge. They open soon… Wanna come Sahi?”  The Japanese man frowned and glanced at the clock.

“It’s six o’clock on a Wednesday, hyung. You wanna get plastered right now?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. Business sucked today and I need a drink.” Hyunsuk scrutinized his own looks in the mirror before grabbing his wallet to put in his back pocket.

“... I might come over later once I’m done with my client.” Asahi offered. That probably meant Asahi was going to have to drag him out later since he’d have a head start. He ran back down the stairs, grunting a ‘see ya’ to Haruto before going next door to Smoke Monster. The black and neon lounge had a couple of booths with people already drinking and taking in their Shisha.

“Chill? You’re here early.” His friend and neighbor leaned against the bar’s counter, twisting and fixing a broken hose.

“Hey Binnie, It’s been a shitty day.” His business neighbor was friendly despite his muscular appearance. He’d open the bar and hookah lounge, recently hopping on the wave of hookah becoming really popular in Seoul compared to regular bars and clubs. It was more chill and less dramatic compared to other nightlife activities with less calmer atmospheres.

“Lemon Matcha Whiskey and Starbuzz shisha?” Changbin asked.

“Why even ask me anymore?” He whined as he sunk into one of the comfortable black iridescent seats, looking like he was melting in it. The other man rolled his eyes at him, snickering at what he saw before preparing the drink.

It was really sad to him that he couldn’t resist grabbing his phone and checking Instagram again, but his hand was itching to. He scrolled mindlessly for a while, rolling the barbell in his tongue against his teeth, right when a notification from the Redlight brand’s official account announced a Raffle at a brand event hosted by Jihoon himself. Hyunsuk shot up out of his seat onto his feet, startling Changbin, who almost dropped his drink.

“Woah bro!” he exclaimed.

“S-sorry.” Hyunsuk sheepishly laughed while taking the drink from the other man.

“What’s got you almost ready for take-off?” He set up the shisha for Hyunsuk.

“I just got some good news... Well, not yet, but we’ll see.” He began typing away, putting in his store membership pin to join the raffle to get into the event. All he had to do was wait. The raffle winners would be announced at midnight. In the meantime, he decided to do what he set out to do, and that was to drink until he was incoherent.

By the time Asahi and Haruto came back with Yoshi in tow to take him off Changbin’s hands, he was tipsy enough to stumble around.

“Hyung, are you ready to leave, or are you still in a partying mood?” Yoshi asked, holding him steady by the shoulder.

“Want us to walk you home?” Haruto asked. Asahi went to the bar to order himself a drink.

“No, no, noooo. I’m jus’ gonna go back.” Hyunsuk slurred.

“Back where hyung? Home?” Yoshi tried leading him to the door, but Hyunsuk yanked his arm from his grip.

“No, not home, you jerk.” He hiccuped. 

“Oh, you’re really drunk, hyung. Why not home? Can you still not open your door?”

Hyunsuk shook his head no. “Too many things in the way…” He mumbled.

“We’re gonna go throw stuff away one of these days,” Haruto grumbled before going to join Asahi at the bar.

“Hmm.. I’ll be fine.. Just when you open the shop tomorrow, wake me up so I can go get ready at the jjimjilbang down the block.” He hiccuped again. He waved at Changbin, saying his goodbyes and thanking him for the drinks and hookah as he stumbled out back to the parlor. He almost fell headfirst into the glass door before he was caught around his waist.

“Yosh, I told you I’m f-fine.” When Hyunsuk turned to frown at Yoshi, he saw it wasn’t him at all, but another man he’d never seen before. He couldn’t get any details of the man’s face since the person had sunglasses, a cap, and a black face mask on.

“You almost cracked your head open, careful.” The voice sounded so familiar. He just gapped at his savior, who glanced up at the parlor sign before he let go and kept walking briskly. Hyunsuk was sobering up fast. He couldn’t have that.
 
That guy… It couldn’t be.

He needed to get inside and fast. There was no way that was Park Jihoon. He was probably still thinking about that raffle and that he was hearing things. Hyunsuk rubbed his temple before running up the stairs, taking off all the heavy jewelry around his neck, getting comfortable, and going to the mini fridge to get a beer. 

Hyunsuk knew he had just been drinking for hours next door, but he had nothing else to do to pass the time but drink some more.. He laid sprawled out on the floor and turned up the music, humming through the television in the main parlor area, letting time pass until he heard his phone ping with a notification.

He opened up his email to see when he realized it was three minutes past midnight. He squinted at the bright screen as he opened the email. It took him three reads before he reacted by almost throwing his phone.

He won the raffle. He’s going to get to meet Park Jihoon and get his autograph.

Hyunsuk dropped his phone on the floor as he stumbled around. He knocked over his half-drunken bottle of beer in the process of rummaging around looking for something in a small cardboard box in the corner.

“Shit, fuck, shit..” He kept swearing as he dug around. He found it. The replica of the white desperado hat from the action movie Park Jihoon was in. That’s what he wanted him to sign.

He couldn’t stop smiling, excited to finally meet his idol. He stayed up all night planning, even though he wasn’t going to the event until towards the end of the month. He collapsed an hour after nearly drunkenly destroying the storage room, putting on the hat and posing in the mirror twirling a Nerf gun pointing it around the room and having his own mini party in celebration.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

He felt a soft kick at his side, which made him roll over and wince. “Hyung, wake up… This place is a mess!” Haruto’s voice made him groan, the low decibels of his voice pounding at his head.

“You reek of alcohol.. You can’t just do stuff like this in the parlor. Isn’t this your pride? Your baby? Get it together, please.” The youngest tattoo artist complained. After sitting up, the pounding got harder.

“Give me a minute…My head hurts..”

“My first piercing of the day is coming in soon… Then I have a color touch-up,” Asahi grumbled before descending the stairs.

“Don’t you have any customers today, hyung?” Haruto began to start cleaning up after him.

“I have a color touch-up too… Fuck!” He tried to stand but fell back.

“Why did you come back here and drink more?”

“I won a raffle to Park Jihoon’s brand pop-up…”

 Haruto helped him up.  Hyunsuk gagged, and the younger jumped back.

“Whoa, not on me if you’re gonna throw up!”

“Sorry Ruto.. shit I need to go shower..” Hyunsuk dug around his clothes hanging over his futon for something clean. He held the railing as he nearly slid down the stair’s banister.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

He left and made his way down the sidewalk with his clean clothes to the jimjilbang.

After the artist had taken his shower, he felt a little better. He grabbed some instant ramyun on the way out of the spa, hurrying back down the street, his dirty clothes in the pack on his back. He quietly made his way back up to the storage in his shop, sighing and feeling bad because Haruto cleaned up after him, reorganizing everything. He needed to figure something out to repay the young tattoo artist for always having his back since he never really acted like the hyung half the time. Hyunsuk set up the electric kettle to begin to have his quick meal. He was itching to pull out his phone and check and see what was going on in the universe of his hobbies, but he, for once, had self-restraint and actually decided to prepare for his client.

He was blowing on his noodles before slurping on the broth right when all hell broke loose. There was a commotion of voices of varying degrees. Women hysterically scream and men shouting to get back. Two men in black were escorting another man inside, barricading the door as he came in and approached Asahi, who was checking his needles for his client. It looked like this important guy was Asahi’s client then since normally social distancing Asahi was allowing this client to hug him.

But why was this guy creating such a scene? Was he an idol? Their shop was located in Jongno, so nowhere near anything super trendy, shopping-wise or neighborhood-wise.. Just mostly late-night stuff and gay bars. Why the hell would a famous idol know about this parlor that opened up only seven months ago? Hyunsuk curiously came down with his bowl, his migraine clearing and his nausea dissipating as he nosily stood at the bottom of the stairs to see the man take off his sunglasses and face mask. Hyunsuk began to cough and sputter as he sucked up a noodle the wrong way when he saw the man smiling so brightly and greeting Asahi like a long time friend was none-other than Park Jihoon himself in the flesh.

“I panicked because I thought you went back to that shack of a place in Osaka!” The actor exclaimed, starting to unbutton the cardigan he was wearing over a black sleeveless shirt. Haruto and Yoshi both gapped in shock, too frozen in their spots. Yoshi snapped out of it first, rushing over to Hyunsuk.

“Hyung! Hyung!” He hissed at him, slapping and hitting his arm, making the broth from his noodles slosh around in his hands. “It’s him! How?!” Jihoon looked up at them as he took a seat on the hydraulic bed as Asahi got the trays of ink ready. He smiled before glancing at Asahi. 

“You have coworkers now? No longer a loner?” Jihoon teased.

Asahi nonchalantly pointed at Hyunsuk after putting his gloves on. “That’s the shop owner.”

When Jihoon looked at him and nodded, that’s when his chopsticks slipped from his fingers, and when he tried to catch them, he ended up dropping the remaining contents of his plastic bowl of noodles all over the wooden floor.

“Shit!” Hyunsuk whined. He was so embarrassed. Yoshi scrambled to find something to clean up the mess and ran back up the stairs.

He needed to calm his racing heart down. He pinched himself just in case he really was dreaming so he could wake up. When he was still there and present, he stood and tried to find wooden floor cleaner to help Yoshi up with the mess he made.

When he came back down to clean up, he couldn’t help but keep glancing up at the actor who Asahi was touching up the color of a tattoo on his bicep of a red moth over purple flowers. Hyunsuk had seen the tattoo before, during one of Jihoon’s press tour interviews, and he should have known it was Asahi’s detailed and beautiful work. His style and gorgeous line work gave him away.

Hyunsuk didn’t realize that he was staring until he felt eyes on him as well. Jihoon was staring at him, wincing only every once in a while in pain with every wipe from Asahi. He unconsciously nibbled at his lip ring, locked in a staring contest with his idol.

“Hyung, we might get more business now since people know an actor has been here,” Haruto says out loud, excited.

Jihoon breaks eye contact first to turn his head and smile at Haruto. Hyunsuk didn’t like the mischief in Haruto’s eyes.

“He’s your number one fan, you know.” The youngest spoke up, and Hyunsuk wanted to crumble into dust. He felt himself trembling.

“Oh? Well.. That’s a huge poster, so.. I figured someone must have liked my movie. The ‘Redlight’ neon sign’s cool.” Jihoon chuckled.

Hyunsuk had a large poster of Jihoon in his corner of the parlor.

“Oh yeah, he won one of your raffles..” Haruto was evil. He was a demon. Hyunsuk had to think long and hard about where he was going to hide his body after murdering him.

“If he won one of my raffles, that’s lucky! Let’s hang out during the event. I’m surprised! My clothing brand is kind of my baby.”

He could hear his own breathing. He nodded. Maybe Jihoon could hear his breathing, too. Did it sound gross? Should he hold his breath?

Hyunsuk was dropping things, his fingers feeling foreign to himself as he tidied up his station. He had a piercing and touch-up later in the day, but right now, he couldn’t just escape because of the security at the door and the waiting fans outside.

His heart hadn’t stopped beating uncontrollably.

During Jihoon’s break to go eat some sweets, not to pass out, Hyunsuk stormed over to Asahi to grab him by the back of his neck like a cat.

“Sahi, why did you never tell me?!” He whispered-yelled at the Japanese man in a lower tone.

“Tell you what hyung?” Asahi asked, normal-toned and wide-eyed.

“Ssssh!! Hush! Not so loud!” Asahi wasn’t being loud at all. “That you’re friends with Park Jihoon!”

“Well… He specifically came to my parlor booth every time he visited Osaka.. I used to have a lot of famous clients… I didn’t know you were a fan hyung. If I knew, I would have introduced you to him…”

He was going to kill Asahi too. His eyes stretched as he dramatically gestured to the figures and memorabilia surrounding Asahi incredulously. A look of realization washed over Asahi. It was just now dawning on the tattoo artist. Hyunsuk wanted to pull his hair out.

 Jihoon came around the support beam, chewing on a chocolate bar and smirking. The way Hyunsuk had Asahi pressed against the wall looked suspicious. He quickly jumped away.

“Wow, you two are together? You never told me your boyfriend was a fan of mine.”

“No!” he raised his hands up, defensive. “I'm not his boyfriend!” he blurted.

“Me and my boyfriend broke up months ago, Jihoonie hyung.” Asahi sighed.

“Well, that looked a lot like something. Isn't that a Human Resources violation of some sort coping a feel on your employees?” Jihoon seemed to be having so much fun rattling Hyunsuk, who was flustered and stammering.

“I'm- I don't--I'm not into guys!” Hyunsuk shuffled back, bumping into the hydraulic bed behind him.

“Really?” Jihoon looked him up and down, flaring his nostrils, his expression a bit intimidating. “What a shame. You're cute. Exactly my type.” He laid down on the bed, resting his arm on the extended arm rest. He started making small talk with Asahi again, who glanced at Hyunsuk, concerned.

The parlor owner felt like the walls around him were transparent, and he was standing there, exposed naked like one of those nightmares where he was in front of the class reading a poem in a G-string.

What the fuck just happened?

“--Hyung?” Yoshi tugged at his arm. Hyunsuk was listening, but not at the same time.

“Hmm?” he squeaked.

“Your touch up is here, but the door is blocked. What should we tell them?”

“.. Tell them we'll have to reschedule. Apologize. Something's come up.” His words jumbled together like a tongue twister.

 Yoshi hesitated at first but could tell he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“A-alright hyung.” Hyunsuk closed his eyes to stop himself from freaking out as he heard the foot falls of Yoshi walking away. He hurried to the back of the parlor, grabbing his carton of Esse Light and going out the back doors. 

Hyunsuk put a brick in the door so he wouldn’t lock himself out. He took out one of the cigarettes with his shaky hand, put it to his lips, and lit it, taking a drag.

“Mother fucker!” he kicked his foot into the air during his outburst.

He learned so much about himself and the actor whom he idolized within the last hour, and he still felt so embarrassed. So perceived and scrambled.

He learned that his favorite actor was possibly bisexual. That bomb didn’t really surprise him; it was that he flirted with him, and he didn’t know what to do with being hit on by a man, let alone a famous man who had women throwing themselves at him. Hyunsuk also had to deal with the fact he would probably see Park Jihoon more often since he had several tattoos that he knew of, and Asahi was his artist—also, that raffle.

Hyunsuk completely forgot about the brand event at Myeondong in a couple of weeks. He’d probably run into him again since he might look out for him. Maybe that weirdly was wishful thinking. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to be noticed by him but didn’t because he couldn’t handle it fully.
Hyunsuk sat outside for a few minutes after his cigarette, feeling silly that he was avoiding going back inside his own business. After a while, he took a deep breath before standing and going back in. When he entered, Asahi was already applying ointment and wrapping the freshly touched up color job with cling wrap and refreshing Jihoon on aftercare. 

“Asahi hyung, what do you think about me getting another piercing?” Jihoon asked Asahi. He could have sworn Asahi was two years younger than himself, making him a year younger than Park Jihoon.

“I don’t really pierce or body mod. Hyunsuk’s the best at that.” When he heard his own name, he flinched.

Jihoon grinned at him. He felt like he might actually pass out. “So Hyunsuk hyung, can I get my conch and upper lobe pierced today?” Jihoon pointed to his right ear.

“I- uh…. Okay, I have no other clients right now.” He felt stupid. Of course, he didn’t have any clients. The parlor was frozen due to the actor, so no one in or out until he was done.

“Great. It’s gonna suck, the healing. Maybe it’s dumb for me to get pierced right after a tattoo, right?” He asked as he followed Hyunsuk, who walked stiffly to his corner of the parlor.

“Not really.. People get it all done at once sometimes … um. Take a seat.” He gestured to his hydraulic bed before washing his hands and putting on his purple latex gloves. Jihoon happily let his eyes scan around the movie posters and action figures from the movie he starred in, amongst other heroes and a couple of cartoon-related vinyl figures.

“You really are a movie man. You really liked Gun Tower a lot, huh?” Jihoon laughed.

Hyunsuk worried at his lip ring. “It's my favorite movie ever… I don't know.”

“How come?”

The tattoo artist thought about the reason why he really loved the film.

“I… I went to see it by myself after, well.. I got out of a nasty breakup with my old girlfriend. I know media shouldn't be my therapy, but I hadn't felt that excited or happy about anything in a long time, and when I saw the fun and vibrant action in front of me, the choreography and practical effects, I felt alive…” He didn't want to go too much into the disorderly way he would be overly attached to things like media and objects. 

“I feel like I'm there when I watch it..” He shrugged while taking the silicone tips off his needle. He didn’t want to be one of those oversharing fans who would gush about how he saved his life, but he did get attached at his lowest point.

Jihoon's bright smile went to that of a neutral smile. “I never really thought about it like that from the audience's perspective.. I guess standing out in the Nevada sun in America shooting for hours…” He stopped himself when he looked at Hyunsuk, listening intently with his eyebrows scrunched up. “I've only seen bits and pieces of the full product… I couldn't make it to the premiere to watch it fully last year…”

“I know… I watched the red carpet live stream. I wanted to know what you’d wear.” He chuckled, then tensed up. He was blabbering and revealing too much.  He was surprised to see Jihoon not weirded out by the statement at all, just laughing along with him. He was slowly feeling more comfortable.

Hyunsuk sterilized his needle before using an alcohol wipe for Jihoon's lobe. 

“Wow, such gentle hands.” Jihoon glanced at him after still with that flirty air he carried. 

“It’s about to be the opposite of  gentle soon..” Hyunsuk said, feeling his cheeks heating up. He felt so present in his skin as Jihoon eyeballed him. Hyunsuk marked two dots on the spots a good distance from the second stud already on his lobe and inside the concave part of his ear.  He held a hand mirror in his hand so Jihoon could look. 

“Do you like these spots?” He asked before Jihoon nodded. 

“Yeah, don’t count. Surprise me.” Hyunsuk made a noise of affirmation before lining up the needle and stud and piercing the skin. The only indication of pain from the actor was a twitch of his eye. He took a deep breath when Hyunsuk finished. “Not that bad.”

“The conch is.. It’s gonna sting.” He warned before getting the stud and flat back bar ready. “Try not to jerk or move. When I do this.” Hyunsuk went for it. He gave no warning as he breached his cartilage with the needle, pushing the bar through the newly formed hole. He heard Jihoon hiss, and a tear rolled from the corner of his eye. Hyunsuk quickly grabs a tissue and dabbed the tear away out of habit from doing so to the crying little girls who get their ears pierced. 

“You’re so sweet, hyung.” Jihoon smiled. Hyunsuk pulls his hand away like he’s been stung. The flirting gave him a giddy but uneasy feeling. He hesitated before grabbing the antibacterial and numbing spray to clean the new piercings. It was quiet as he turned and began to take off his gloves and prepare a care bag for the actor to take with him.

“Just.. Don’t clean it with alcohol. The healing will take longer if you do. Just wash it with antibacterial soap when you shower and use the saline spray in the morning and at night. Try not to snag them, It’ll hurt like a bitch… Try not to touch it while it’s healing… That’s about it.”

He couldn’t look Jihoon in the eyes as he handed him the bag, awkwardly bowing when he stood.

“Thanks! It didn’t hurt at all.” He figured Jihoon was grinning at him as he walked over to Asahi, talking about something. Hyunsuk sat there for a minute before packing up his case of studs and looking around at his space with all the posters he had just talked about.

After he finished straightening up, they all thanked him for coming by. Hyunsuk kept bowing.

“You know what? Let’s take a selca. You guys will get a load of business that way.” Jihoon handed his phone to his bodyguard.

“Oh no no! I can’t.” He raised his hands, shaking his head.

“Come on hyung, he’s your favorite?” Yoshi grinned at him. So evil.

“I- I can’t, I look terrible… my roots..” Hyunsuk continued to make excuses.

“You look fine, cute like banana chocolate,” Jihoon said excitedly. Hyunsuk had to ignore the tightness in his chest from even being called cute. He hurried to get a beanie to cover his head.

“Okay, um I’m ready..” He posed beside Jihoon, putting up peace signs as the pictures were snapped. It was such a blur afterward as they continued to say goodbyes, bowing and thanking the actor for coming by.

It had gotten quiet once Jihoon left.

There was no muffled squealing from outside. No chatter inside. Just Hyunsuk was sitting as the others were left to their own devices. A walk-in came in for a quick minimalist tattoo on her wrist of a cute honey bee that he did without really saying a word, but even that was a blur.

Park Jihoon used his business. His business was his first choice for tattoos. He wanted to both punch Asahi really hard and kiss him for being such a good tattoo artist that someone like Jihoon would want their services. His services…. He pierced his ear.

Hyunsuk went to lie down on his hydraulic bed. Not even Yoshi trying to shake him from his zoning out would pull him out of his own head.

“Hyung, I’m heading home.” Yoshi didn’t get a response so he reeled his hand back and slapped him on his butt really hard.

“Ow! What the fuck man?!” Hyunsuk sat up rubbing where he was hit. Yoshi just grinned down at him.

“I’m heading home I said.. Are you gonna be fine? Both Ruto and Sahi cleaned up and left already.” 

“I don’t know, Yoshi. Uh yeah, I guess.” He whined.

“Go eat real food hyung.” He reminded his friend and employer before leaving.

He forgot to get Jihoon to sign his hat…

The deafening silence was back again, and he was itching to check social media to see if the actor posted their parlor. He wanted to see what he had to say about the place and his tattoo and piercing. He wanted to know what others thought. He wanted to badly, like his palms were burning, and scrolling through his phone would help with that. He had enough self-control for once not to do that.

Instead, Hyunsuk did what Yoshi told him to do, and that was to go find something to eat. He went a couple blocks to get an egg toast sandwich and coffee that he scarfed down and chugged, making his stomach hurt. The whole time thinking about Instagram.

He scurried back to his parlor like a skittish rat to go hide in his nest of an attic. The artist finally caved in and checked his phone. It was at five percent battery life, and his screen was dim. Hyunsuk quickly opened Instagram and refreshed it. As soon as he got a glimpse of the group photo from Jihoon’s account, his phone died. He scrambled on the ground to find the charging cord hanging loosely from the outlet, plugging it in. He waited unblinking for five minutes, and when the Samsung Galaxy logo flashed across the screen, he waited with bated breath until his home screen finally loaded. Hyunsuk opened Instagram again. The feed hadn’t changed. 

‘ Partied with the handsome hyungs at <Indigo Ink> today. The tattoo and piercings didn’t hurt at all.’ He examined the photo. How Jihoon leaned into him and how red his face looked. His smile looked awkward. Hyunsuk read the comments.

‘ The tattoo looks so cool!’

‘Jihoonie, did you get piercings too? Hot!’

He scrolled, trying to find anything negative. The only thing he could really find was someone saying, ‘The guy in the beanie looks like he’s going to cry.’

They were right. He was on the verge of it, so the commenter wasn’t wrong at all. Hyunsuk sighed, powering off his phone to let it charge. He didn’t feel better, just more numb again. Neither bad nor good. He went to smoke another cigarette before leaving for the jimjilbang.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Three weeks went by stressfully fast, with more people booking after seeing Park Jihoon’s Instagram and Twitter posts about his piercings and tattoos. He did get a complaint from a fan of Jihoon who got a piercing and her and the ajumma who seemed to have custody of the teen being bossy during the piercing and then coming back days later complaining about an infection. He directed them to take care of it at the ER. Even though the girl kept touching her piercing, he still got a poor, scathing review.

He happily accepted the new boom in business. 

 He was finishing up a new school-style tattoo of Mickey Mouse despite dropping his ink three times throughout the tattoo, making his client uneasy. She didn’t want to show it, saying she was okay when he went to get more ink trays each time. He remembered he needed to start getting ready once he was done. The pop-up was that night. 

He panicked over what he should wear at the Redlight brand event. He smoked his last cigarette of the day before hurrying out and thanking the others for cleaning and locking up. Hyunsuk went to his dreaded apartment where he could only slip in past the boxes stacked to the ceiling. He needed to find something to wear. He navigated his body through the tightly packed things, forgetting exactly the path to his bedroom through his knickknacks. 

He eventually made it to the bedroom. His bed was covered in clothing that was too big for his body now. He didn’t want to part with them because they were his, and they were designer, but he’d lost so much weight since his early university years where he was chubbier from only eating burgers and fried chicken as his diet. He pushed things out of the way to get to his closet.

Hyunsuk didn’t even realize that tears were streaming down his face. He was sniffling as he panted, looking through the clothing that barely moved when pushed on the bowing hanger bar, close to giving any day. 

He hated this place.

Hyunsuk couldn’t find anything really ‘Redlight’ that would fit him perfectly. He settled on a suit he got from Louis Vuitton and would wear Redlight accessories that would work with the outfit. Hyunsuk navigated back out of the apartment and to the parlor several blocks away to put the suit in his steamer styler, getting ready to go, first examining himself in the mirror. 

The tattooer pointed out everything he disliked about himself. He could never bulk up and maintain a thicker muscular weight; he was now thinner compared to when he first broke up with his ex. When he was thicker, he felt a little bit more human, and even then, he was chubby in places he didn’t want to be. The artist wanted to look manly but had a baby face, hence why he continued to pierce himself. 

His lambert glittering, His lobes dazzling with his expensive jewelry. An anti-eyebrow piercing under his right eye that made him almost faint when he did it to himself in his own bathroom. A barbell through his tongue because his ex said it would be sexy, all the while she barely had sex with him and was fucking his friend daily.

Not just piercings, he would do different things like wearing unnatural-looking contact lenses to look intimidating, like a poisonous snake. Most of the art on his body was tattooed by Yoshi and Asahi. The ‘7CH’ in etchy font behind his left ear was done by Haruto when he first hired him, and the huge diamond he tattooed on the back of his left hand on a slow day. He’d try to cut back his long eyelashes only for them to grow back longer and thicker, bleaching his eyebrows. He’d given up. He hadn’t pierced or done any sort of modifications in over a year since.

Hyunsuk did manage to bleach his roots two nights before. He didn’t look like a chocolate-dipped banana anymore. He styled it cool with his undercut. Hyunsuk had to peel himself away from the mirror, or he would start to spiral again. He thought maybe he should give up his raffle over and over as he tied the black Redlight designer black silk scarf that obscured his pouty lips around his neck. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t fix that about himself either.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk hailed a taxi arriving at the store’s pop-up. Fans of the actor cheering and flashing their cameras, cheering and chattering. There was an alley blocked off by security and a red velvet rope that he approached. He showed them the raffle email on his phone and waited for the staff to retrieve him. 

His heart was hammering, and he didn’t retain any instructions at all from the nicely dressed woman ushering him to the second level of the boutique. The raffle winners were given exclusive shopping time in the private part of the store. When Hyunsuk looked around, he noticed he was possibly overdressed compared to the more casual or less accessorized winners. There were some people in designer like him, but not as loud. He stopped comparing himself to others to look at the sunglasses on display. Hyunsuk was offered champagne, feeling so out of place. He heard whispers from the other fans that Jihoon would join them soon to meet and greet them. 

He continued to find things here and there that he liked.  He looked at some of the jewelry, wondering if he could contact the Redlight supplier to sell some of the earrings and body jewelry in his parlor. That’s when Park Jihoon came in, his chest exposed, wearing his own designs. The coolest. The actress from that supernatural drama he starred in before the blockbuster movie hooked on his arm. A black blazer covered in chains and crosses dangled from the fabric. Elaborate, but badass. She matched his design, dressed sleekly, she was even more beautiful in real life.  Hyunsuk never really paid attention to dating rumors, but he wasn’t surprised they were still together.

The other fans around were starstruck. Some of the girls were clinging to each other as he entered. Jihoon oozed cool confidence as he smiled at everyone and thanked them for doing the raffle online. Hyunsuk’s eyes connected with his, and he noticed the way Jihoon’s smile changed slightly. Hyunsuk quickly looked away, setting down the champagne flute, and quickly scurried away in the opposite direction, saying ‘excuse me’ to the staff as he rushed to the restrooms.

The more he paced back and forth like a caged animal in the bathroom, the more uneasy he felt. He didn’t know what his problem was. Why did his anxiety have to act up now, of all places? He felt so weird and foggy all day long, too. It wasn’t his first time meeting the actor, and he didn’t know why he ran away. He looked down at his shaking hands. He needed a cigarette.

“Hyung, why’d you run off?” Jihoon’s familiar voice made him almost stumble when he turned around.

“...Are you okay?” Jihoon looked worried, reaching out his hand like he wanted to comfort him.

“I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be?” He tried to sound convincing.

Jihoon quickly got tissues from a box between the sinks. “Because you’re crying, and your nose is bleeding hyung.” He froze in his spot when Jihoon put some of the tissue up his nose for him and used the other tissue to dab the tears away at the corners of his eyes. He just let the actor do so, not knowing what to do or say.

Jihoon was stroking his hair, and he didn't push him away or try to step back, just leaning into the gentle touch unconsciously. He sighed, feeling all the tension leave him.

“Now tell the truth, what's wrong? I know there's something wrong.”

Hyunsuk hesitated. “I-  .. I don't know. I'm just having a seriously bad day. I get like this sometimes, and I worked myself up about this event.” Jihoon's eyebrows rose in confusion.

“Why? You're supposed to be having fun. I was excited to meet you again.” 

Hyunsuk's eyes stretched in disbelief “Me? Why me?”

“You’re my biggest fan, and you’re cool and good at your job.” Jihoon smiled. Hyunsuk didn’t know how to respond. “Just come out when you're ready and hang out with everyone.” He squeezed his shoulder before leaving Hyunsuk to gather himself.

Hyunsuk knew it didn’t make sense as to why he had started freaking out. He just had to tell himself over and over that no one was judging him and he was fine. He checked his nose, which was still only bleeding a little. He left after it fully stopped. Fans were laughing and talking to Jihoon, who spotted him coming from the restroom and smiled at him. He whispered in the ear of the beautiful actress beside him, and she lit up and smiled at Hyunsuk, too. They looked really good together. He bowed at her and slowly made his way close to the group.

“I mean’t to tell you look like rich badass.” Jihoon grinned at him.

“Is he a fashion designer too? You said you worked with him?” The actress.. Hyunsuk couldn’t remember her name … Something like “Jill” or “Grace”.

“Nope, he put holes in my ears.” He pointed to his three-week-old piercings that looked to be healing fine. She nodded, understanding now what Jihoon was talking about. She looked between them, and her smile changed slightly to something softer. He didn’t get it.

“Ah- Yeah, I didn’t know what to wear today so..”

“Well, shop around and take something home!” He cheerfully pointed to the racks surrounding him. Hyunsuk nodded, joining the whispering fans picking things to buy, some fangirls approaching the actor to ask for his approval. Hyunsuk glanced out of the corner of his eye, pulling the scarf up more and adjusting the bag he was carrying. 

He saw a black asymmetric satin-trimmed wool blazer with sharp shoulders that looked really out there. It looked like something the hair stylist down the street from his parlor would wear. He’d get it, and if he didn’t like it, he’d just give it to Doyoung so he wouldn’t have a chance to stuff it in his closet. A pair of red thick rimmed square sunglasses caught his eye, and he picked that up too. He needed to maintain self-control and not go crazy buying everything. Hyunsuk felt proud that he only picked two things when he told the staff his info for the invoice later.

The mingling and purchasing went better than he thought it would. He actually had a lot of fun, and by the time it was all over, he didn’t really want to go. Hyunsuk was buzzing a little from the champagne. He didn’t know how many he drank, but he felt good. 

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

As he waited for a taxi to take him to the parlor, he thought back on the time he had. About how friendly Jihoon was. He really was a funny person. He never expected the guy who played such a serious romantic in dramas and then such a violent anti-hero in an action movie would have a welcoming and funny personality.

Jihoon had left after signing autographs to go entertain the press. Hyunsuk had stayed around briefly enjoying the multi-floor luxury department store before deciding to leave. Hyunsuk checked his phone, seeing that Yoshi had texted him.

‘Hyung, how was the event? Tell me everything.’

He thought long about what he wanted to say before replying, ‘Fun, I didn’t want to leave.’

Once out of the taxi, he hurried into the parlor and up the stairs and then back out the door again to get a bath in the jimjilbang before they closed. Even in the locker room after his bath, he scrolled social media. Just reading the comments talking about how good Jihoon looked. The fans were right; he was so pretty and handsome at the same time, and when he was up close… breathtaking.

Hyunsuk wasn’t into men, or at least he thought he wasn’t, but with each well-angled photo of the actor the more his stomach stirred in the way it did when seeing a woman in something that accentuated their assets.  

The parlor felt so quiet when he got back. Hyunsuk was aware of how quiet everything was when he stood still. He sat on his futon and scrolled, just focused on the photos zooming in. His moles were so attractive, his eyes gentle, but what he was wearing revealed his chest exposed.  He covered his mouth as he focused on feeling the squirming in his lower belly. Arousal hit him hard. When Hyunsuk realized this, he flinched, locking his phone and feeling the sick sensation of sudden guilt. He curled up on his futon, squeezing his eyes closed and forcing himself to go to sleep.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

He was woken the next morning by a pat on the butt and someone spooning behind him.

“Jihoon?” He said sleepily. The body jerking and then the sudden laugh woke him up fully.

“No?! Are you serious?!” Yoshi was just gently trying to wake him and probably didn’t expect that to come from his mouth. Haruto was bent over laughing like a squeaky doggy toy. He frowned at both of them. Hyunsuk shoved Yoshi.

“Why the hell were you cuddling me anyway?” He frowned up at his employee.

“You looked so cute hyung, like someone was picking on you in your dreams again.” Yoshi laughed. Hyunsuk flopped back down, ignoring the teasing.

“Are you sleeping in today hyung?” Asahi called from the bottom of the stairs.

“...Yeah I don’t have a tattoo until tonight…” He rolled over.

“Oh, well Jihoonie hyung’s here to see you.. I’ll just tell him to come back some other time.” Hyunsuk shot up like he had a spring in his ass.

“No, wait!” He scrambled to get up. What did Asahi mean that Jihoon was there to see him? He almost fell down the stairs, his eyes landing on the amused-looking actor with his face covered by a mask and a hood covering his head.

“I have a flight later since I’m filming something, so I decided to come by earlier before I leave and forget. You hurried out of the pop-up so fast you forgot this.”  Jihoon came up to him, suddenly taking his wrist and pulling him closer. He dug in his pocket to pull out a chained bracelet with a pendant of a cursive ‘R’ and a ruby gemstone in the middle of the letter and put it on Hyunsuk’s wrist. A look passed between them when Jihoon glanced at him while fastening it on him. “Everyone got one but you, so I couldn’t have that.” Jihoon’s hand lingered on his hand that fit smaller in the actor’s.

“Thanks.” He squeaked.

“Here’s the box it comes in.” He handed over a small, velvet red box. “I’ll see ya when I get back.” He said his goodbyes to everyone as well before hurrying out the front doors. Hyunsuk sank to the floor. Yoshi and Haruto were doing a poor job being inconspicuous about eavesdropping, with Yoshi pushing the floor duster around on the clean floor and Haruto dusting a lamp near Asahi’s corner of the parlor with a bandana. Asahi leaned against the jewelry display, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“Jihoonie hyung likes you. He wants to catch you.” Asahi rarely ever teased him verbally, but for once, the tattooer looked so amused.

“I- but.. No, I’m… “ He huffed. “He’s a celebrity, and I’m….. He knows I’m not into men and he kissed that actress, um.. Giselle on the cheek .. and they were really close and I’m just a short grungey average guy he wouldn’t…” He was trying to make sense of what Asahi was saying.

“I know him hyung he likes you. You’re exactly his type. He’s into tattoos and piercings and cute faces. You have both.” Asahi shrugged.

“I’m not cute.” He grumbled.

“Whatever.” Asahi shrugged, digging through the jewelry display to take note of the inventory.

Hyunsuk was quiet for a moment before speaking. “He said he’ll see me when he gets back?” His voice cracked.

“Hmm, yep. He’s been messaging me in Kakao nonstop about you asking questions like a private investigator. He’s gonna come back.” He smiled at him through the glass.

Hyunsuk heard his phone going off like crazy, so he quickly ran up the stairs to check his phone. He just got a dm suddenly. When he opened it and saw the handle was ‘Redhoon456,’  He wasn’t exactly sure if this was a prank or legit or not, but the messages started with ‘It’s me. I’m heading to the airport now, message me here.” And then there was a Kakao link. It had to be a private account from Jihoon. His heart was speeding up. 

He accepted.

Hyunsuk waited and then realized Jihoon was getting ready to board a flight soon out of the country. He wanted to know if Jihoon was going to film a sequel to  ‘Gun Tower’ or something else. He wanted to be nosy about the movie and to know small things too. Hyunsuk wanted to know what he ate for breakfast. He wanted to know what the other man thought of him and why he was giving his private accounts to him. Why he wanted to talk to him so badly.

Hyunsuk didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t focus. He checked Instagram to gather more information. Just the normal stuff Jihoon posted, like the protein drink he drank before workouts, some of the Redlight brand event, pictures of aesthetic food and him eating with the actress Giselle. When he refreshed after about twenty minutes, the window of a private plane was shown. He probably shouldn’t, but he checked gossip articles.

One saying he was going to Greenland to film a movie called ‘Past Assasin’, so another action film. He didn’t know if he should ask Jihoon or not, even though he was so curious.

His mind was going haywire all day as he readied for his client later in the day, even going out with Haruto to retrieve their ink supply at the post office. Then he realized that Greenland was such a long flight from Korea. Hyunsuk relaxed and didn’t dwell anymore until he got a message that night after eating his cup noodles.

‘I landed safely at my layover in Germany, hyung.’

He rubbed his bleary eyes.

‘How do you know that I’m older than you?’ He didn't know why he replied like that. It seemed a little snappy.

‘I thought you weren’t. I was being funny! [Cute white seal shocked face sticker]’

‘I’m turning 26 in three months from now. I notice you call Asahi hyung too ㅋㅋㅋ’ He sat up, folding his legs under himself excited.

‘I had no idea! Wow, you really do look very young. I thought you were like 21 when I first saw you. Then I thought that was too young to already own your own business that you would have been fresh out of the military… so 23 maybe. Wow.’

Hyunsuk felt a laugh bubble out of him, looking down at the small screen lighting up the area.

‘Did you have a good flight? Was it rough?’ He didn’t want to get into the rumored film or where he was headed to not pry too much.

‘I couldn’t recline the whole time.. The seat was broken and the staff with me slept like a baby, but now I’m in the hotel bed lounging.’ Hyunsuk’s cheeks instantly heated up at the mention of him sprawled out on his hotel bed.

‘I’m sorry your flight wasn’t comfortable.’ He was at a loss of words.

‘Hyung, what should we do together when I get back in a week?’

Hyunsuk ran his front teeth over his lip ring. He really meant he was going to come back to see him. He didn’t understand at all why.

‘You want to hang out? I don’t do much of anything..’

‘Really? Nothing for fun?’

He thought long and hard.

‘I just drink and smoke hookah next door… walk a lot and just watch movies and go to the bookstore. I usually don’t break my routine to do anything different.’ He felt so awkward, and reading his message back, he felt plain.

‘We can find something to do, but for now, I have to go.’

He still wanted to hang out even after what he said. Hyunsuk sent a waving emoji before locking his phone and flopping back on his futon.

All of this was so sudden. He didn’t know how to feel about his favorite celebrity trying to worm his way into his life and become friends. He wasn’t at all interesting except maybe being a tattoo artist, but even that was only cool at a distance. Once people got to know him, it was always the same. That he was not intimidating or a hardass but really soft and nice and had the anxiety of a prey animal. The only thing to appease him when he was like that was liquor and shopping. He wondered how long Jihoon would put up with something like that until he dubbed him a weirdo and moved on.

He thought back to the pop-up and how gorgeous the man was. His face, so handsome and pretty at the same time. The stirring began again as he rolled on his side, squeezing his eyes shut. He’d been pushing his urges away for so long now.

Hyunsuk pressed his face into his pillow as his hand timidly traveled down the flat plane of his stomach under his loose-fitting t-shirt, reaching past the elastic of his pants and underwear and feeling himself fully twitch to hardness. He sighed softly into the fabric. He only gently teased himself as the image of a man with thick biceps crowded him and hovered over him with a smile. Eyes so sharp and inky black hair framing them. Those soft-looking lips smirking before leaning down to press against his pulse. His scent reminded him of fresh cherries, surrounding him. 

He imagined the tendons shifting in the other man’s forearm as his hand pressed into his throat. Holding him in place as he whispers in his ear with that raspy voice how he belonged to him. At that point, Hyunsuk had pushed everything down to stroke himself with vigor, muffling his panting and moaning into the memory foam pillow. His other arm hooked under the pillow, gripping it like a man about to fall from the side of a building. The thought of Jihoon holding him down by his waist and shifting to pressing his hard cock against his ass chuckling in his ear. That it was Jihoon’s warm palm and not his own touching him faster, His thumb rubbing the slit of his sticky tip making him throb and drip. The actor’s voice whispers in his ear that he wants to mark him from the inside. Hyunsuk came with a whining groan shivering through it not thinking through the possible mess of his futon sheet he’d make cumming copiously. He moaned a final time as he softened in his grasp.

“Park Jihoon-a..” Hyunsuk furrowed his eyebrows, feeling drained. He rolled over on his stomach, not caring as he drifted straight to sleep.

Chapter Text

Every day, Hyunsuk got sporadic messages throughout the day for a full week from Jihoon. They talked about everything and nothing, and toward the end of the week when he had gotten a phone call from the actor while he was tattooing a giant buddha on the back of his client. He took his glove off to answer it before putting another one on.

“Hello?” He began tattooing the intricate details slowly.

“Are ya busy?” He recognized Jihoon’s voice. He wasn’t expecting it.

“Um.. A little. I’m doing a tattoo.” He chewed at his lip ring.

“Oh! Well, just answer this quick question, then I’ll let you go.” What was Jihoon? A Bridge troll. This was the eighth random question he’d asked out of the blue only to go silent for long periods of time. It was pretty fun but a bit strange.

“Alright.”

“Are you a coffee drinker?”

Hyunsuk wanted to laugh. “Am I a  Korean man with a pulse?” He snarked back, now more comfortable in doing so to the actor.

Jihoon cackled on the other line like a hyena. “Fine! I got it! See ya!” was all he got before Jihoon hung up. It was puzzling, but he was happy as he continued his tattoo. His client gave him an amused look.

“Stop grinning like that, it's scaring me.” Yoshi came into his area, digging around in a drawer while holding a shriveled-up Papico in the corner of his mouth.

“Why are you being such a hater, Yosh?”  Hyunsuk didn’t look up, concentrating on his work. Yoshi didn’t answer but continued to dig around.

“Are you pissed or something?” Hyunsuk asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, why, and don’t break anything of mine while you're digging like that.” Hyunsuk sighed.

“My piercing appointment is really late, and they keep apologizing in DMs, but I can’t sit around waiting all day for them. I have a tattoo soon.” Yoshi sat up. “I’m out of needle cleaner.” He huffed.

“Well, I have some beside me..”

“I’ll use it later then…” Yoshi turned and froze. Hyunsuk didn’t look up to see why until his client said, ‘Oh my god!’

When he glanced up, he saw a man dressed in black ushering a tall, pretty-faced man dressed in expensive-looking casual wear. Hyunsuk recognized his face on a pack of Konjac Jelly pouches at the grocery store.

“Ah- Hello!” His smile was so bright as he bowed. The man was extremely beautiful. “I’m here for a piercing! Park Jihoon recommended me…” It dawned on Hyunsuk that this must have been the apologetic client Yoshi was talking about.

“I- um give me a minute to set up.”  Hyunsuk wanted to laugh at Yoshi bumbling, but he was currently starstruck. 

“Is Kim Junkyu really here?! We should start holding Red Carpet Tattoo and Piercing events here or something, charge billions of won hyung..” He looked over at Haruto, who was nosily peeking through the shelf with figures as he whispered to Hyunsuk.

“What’s with you and only thinking about getting rich quick?” Hyunsuk talked through his pouting lips, still concentrating on the intricate lines of Buddha’s hair while his client stared at the singer.

“Money talks,” Haruto said in English before he flashed his Christian Dior black plated gold necklace around his neck, sticking out his tongue before going to tease a fumbling Yoshi, who Hyunsuk could see from the corner of his eyes having kind of a shoving fight with him. Yoshi was shy and would rather slap and shove Haruto, who was trying to get him to approach Junkyu than begin giving service to the celebrity.

Hyunsuk wondered what Jihoon told the singer since he was a recommendation. He also wondered how many celebrity friends the actor had. Probably a lot, since he seemed like a huge social butterfly. Hyunsuk sagged a little. He used to be like that. Happy to meet new people and make friends, but not so much anymore. He had a huge fear of rejection now along with trust issues. The fear of betrayal outweighed his desire to make more friends.

He eventually finished the tattoo in time for his client to get an autograph from the singer. 

It almost took an hour for Yoshi to calm Junkyu’s nerves about piercing his ear since the man feared the pain.

Hyunsuk checked his phone, and Jihoon asked him another question.

‘Sweet snacks or salty?’

Hyunsuk hid his grin with his hand, looking up at everyone distracted by Kim Junkyu before looking down at the screen again to reply.

‘Salty and spicy. I like spicy food the most.’

‘Really?! Are your tongue receptors okay? Why hurt your poor tongue on purpose? Is that why you pierced it?’ He added a puzzled baby seal sticker. Hyunsuk suppressed a laugh.

‘I never really feel it. Never did. Just a small tingle. That’s not why I pierced my tongue either, I don’t have a tongue kink. I’m not a glossaphiliac.’ He re-read what he had just typed, realizing how it looked, and he quickly tried to delete the message, but the ‘seen’ notification showed up with a check.

‘Well, the tongue ring is sexy. Not a tongue kink? Or the ring for those obsessed with providing cunnilingus? It's still insane that you eat spicy stuff on purpose.’

Hyunsuk was getting whiplash from the conversation. It was a mix of innocence about his favorite snacks and also about oral sex. How did it dip into that territory? It was like he was thrown into a conversation blender with how Jihoon didn’t stay on topic and was all over the place. 

Hyunsuk had pushed away his fantasy he had about Jihoon the other night where he imagined him crowding him and fucking him into his futon. He woke up trying to tell himself he didn't imagine that at all while washing his sheets after waking up at four in the morning. He had to do it again and change the subject.

‘Kim Junkyu’s here,’ was all he simply said.

‘That brat is getting a tattoo!’ The message was followed by a screaming, panicking cartoon seal. ‘He’s doing it without me there for moral support?’

They really must have been close, then. ‘Actually, he’s getting a piercing from Yoshi.’

‘Still! Hit him for me! Punch him directly in the center of the chest!’

Hyunsuk tilted his head before looking up at the singer, squeezing his eyes closed as Yoshi pierced his lobes.

“It looks like you had your ears pierced before..” He heard Yoshi mumble to the singer.

“I did.. But I stopped wearing anything in them.” Junkyu sounded pained.

Hyunsuk looked back down at his phone again and responded to Jihoon. ‘I’m not gonna do that.. He seems nice. He can sue me.’

‘...’

‘It’d be worth it.’ Was Jihoon’s response seconds later.  Hyunsuk shook his head at the short response. 

‘I’m going to be nice’ He thought for a minute. ‘How long is your first week's filming? are you doing your own stunts this time?’ The curiosity was killing him.

‘You’re so funny.’

Hyunsuk wasn't sure if that was sarcasm or if he was stating that he really did find him funny.

‘Should I not have asked that?’ he chewed at his bottom lip.

‘I think you're cute. I can feel you itching to ask me about the filming all the way from the other side of the world. Don't hesitate to ask me anything. It pumps up my ego.’

Hyunsuk could feel his face heating up. “Hyung, why is your face so red?” Haruto came over to try to peek at his phone, but Hyunsuk quickly snatched it away from his sneaky eyes.

“None of your business.” 

Haruto smiled with his hands in his pocket.

“Wow, sexting people at work-”

Hyunsuk cut him off, “I'm not on the job right now, and I'm not sexting!” he hissed.

“I forgot you live here now instead of your nice studio you leased,” the younger bit back.

“Ruto-ya, I don't want to hear it..” Hyunsuk's tone was enough warning to not press.

Haruto's smile dropped. “You need to go talk to someone about it. They are going to kick you out if the building maintenance or property manager has to go in there to inspect something.”

“... I'll figure it out on my own, okay? It's none of your business,” he mumbled. His anxieties controlling his sudden mood shifts, and he gets agitated. He needed a cigarette. 
 
He took his phone and got up, brushing past Haruto, whose face was unreadable. He didn't bother acknowledging Yoshi, making his big sad eyes at the singer who talked to him in a bubbly manner in their own world.

Hyunsuk wanted to just ignore everything. When he crossed the threshold of the backdoor, he was instantly bringing his cigarette to his lips, lighting and inhaling the bitter menthol smoke. The numbness came back instantaneously.

With a sigh and another drag, he pulled out his phone, looking down at Jihoon's last message to him before deciding to type something he probably shouldn't have. Acting on aggressively heightened emotions.

‘Hey, Jihoon-ssi?’

Jihoon's response was quick.

‘I told you not to call me that hyung. Stop being silly.’

That familiar response made him bubble even more with a sticky tar feeling inside. A sickly tumultuous storm within himself. His own turmoil about what he wanted to ask.

‘I don't think it's a good idea to talk to me with such familiarity. I'm not normal, and I think if anyone found out, I'd ruin your image.'

There wasn't a response. Hyunsuk didn't even want to finish his cigarette. Fully disgusted by his own vice but not enough to quit it. Just like getting his apartment cleared of junk.

poor timing and probably her sixth sense mother's intuition that her baby boy was upset. His eomma calling made his phone vibrate violently on the metal chair. He just stared at it for a second before picking it up.

He tried sounding normal when he picked up. “Hello?” He knew his voice probably sounded rough at the moment.

“Hyunsuk? Do you have a cold? Are you not keeping warm? Why do you sound like that? Is my son okay?”

Hyunsuk hadn't visited his mother since he left Daegu. He really didn't want to run into his ex-girlfriend or ex-best friend. He wasn't a violent person but he was afraid that if he was pushed to the point of breaking, what he might do. The erratic back-and-forth through texts from his ex were so toxic and vile before he'd blocked her. He didn't want to revisit any of that, even at the expense of never seeing his mother.

“Eomma, … I'm fine. I just sound like this because I might be a bit sick. I'll go to a clinic. “ He lied to her.

The artist didn't want her to worry about his well-being. She didn't know about his tattoos or facial piercings. Even when he was in Daegu, he kept his visitation with her to a minimum. Hyunsuk felt guilty about avoiding her, and his guilt extended from their past together when he was only a boy…

“Hyunsuk? Are you there? I'll message you my Dakjuk recipe. Make sure to make it okay?”

Her soft voice made him swallow down every bitter thing welling up inside him.

“I understand. Yeah, eomma. I promise I'll eat it well.” He tried to smile. He wanted to be believable even if she still couldn't see him.

“Okay, be well.” was all she said, followed by her hanging up.

Hyunsuk refused to cry this time.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Days passed since Hyunsuk was left on read from Park Jihoon. He knew it was bound to happen. It still didn't stop him from feeling miserable about it.

“Hyung, you're pouting again..” Asahi mumbled as he now added color to his tattoo he started on. A red crowned crane in the motion of its wings spreading, about to take flight. Asahi was adding the finer shadowing and red ink to the top of the waterfowl's head and a red thread tied around its ankle, dangling prettily with precise curved lines.

“I'm just sensitive there.. on that part of my arm..” 

Hyunsuk glanced up. Asahi’s sort of empty look meant he didn't believe him at all. He really didn’t want to tell his employee his issue, even if he was one of his friends.

He was not, and he would never discuss with anyone the wild and highly inappropriate dreams he was having in the parlors storage room at night. Every time, he woke up in a mixture of clamminess but also overheated around his neck and did not reach any sort of completion because, right before the dreams got too intense, he’d force himself awake. He started every morning now for a while feeling pretty drained and painfully aroused.

Hyunsuk would cram the dirty dreams into a box of denial stored somewhere in his brain, never to be seen or heard from again. The tattoo artist kept telling himself that.

That Park Jihoon just wouldn't make sense to continue to fantasize about. That doing so was unnecessary and he really didn't feel that way about men and the actor himself when it came to intimacy with him and another man would never happen. That he didn't see the appeal. Regardless of how handsome and charismatic the actor was, he couldn’t feel that sort of attraction. Wouldn’t know what to do in any sort of situation his nighttime imagination would manifest.

Deny, deny, deny.

He’d had another recent episode. It bothered him so much that he begged Asahi to fit him in to get the tattoo of the crane.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

… He saw previews of the filming of ‘Past Assassin' from a movie buff magazine at 7/11.

Stills of Jihoon on a soundstage and some photos of him talking to directors. The clothing he wore looked like a mish-mash of period clothing with something modern mixed in. He wasn’t surprised by the supposed supernatural or fantasy world Hollywood was conjuring up for an original idea. He stopped focusing on the costuming and looked at Jihoon’s intense, focused eyes as he talked to what looked like a director or producer.

Hyunsuk’s eyes quickly drifted from his pretty dark, almost doll-like eyes to his lips…

He closed the magazine and forced himself to move away from the magazine rack. He didn’t need it. He was there for the spicy buldak kimbap, not magazines. He had millions of magazines in his apartment…

… As he purchased his food and got a bottle of iced americano from the drinks fridge, he could still see the magazines at the front of the store. Even while microwaving his meal…

Hyunsuk ended up buying six magazines. The same magazines ditching the food he’d just paid for and headed to his apartment, biting his lip as he clutched the magazines. He didn’t need them. He told himself over and over, but he told himself too, what if something happened? If he kept one and then something would happen to it. It could be dropped in a puddle of water, ruined. The articles with Jihoon’s beautiful face would be ruined. If he dropped it in the street and a truck ran over it, ruining it. 

What if a fire happened?

He quickly punched in the code to the apartment and pushed the door with his shoulder as hard as he could to move all the packed things blocking the door. He slipped in and used the junked tunnel walkway to his memorabilia area of the living space. Everything was crammed together, collectable cases with a sheet covering them so they wouldn’t get sun-bleached by being pressed against the window in a tight row.

Hyunsuk huffed as he pulled open a drawer to his desk crammed already with important papers and documentation for himself, staring at it then at the stack of magazines in his hands. The glossy black cover was a stark contrast to his pale hands, with his thumbs having chipped purple polish. Hyunsuk’s knuckles turned paler as he squeezed the books, already now in a panicked state as his chest tightened. He quickly shut the drawer and turned in a circle and just quickly put the magazines under a chair cushion, and squeezed down the pathway to escape. He slammed the front door shut as he ran down the hallway and stairs out to the main street.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

“Hyung?” Asahi asked, trying to get his attention, his eyes dark and round with concern.

“Hmm? What’s up?”

“You were zoning out when I was talking to you. Are you sure you’re sleeping well in that storage room? I have a new place with a guest area if you want to stay with me.” Asahi really was a gentle and good friend despite seeming cold and uninterested at first glance.

 How he was when he first met him at a tattoo expo in Tokyo three years ago was vastly different to their current friendship. He thought Asahi was a rude person at first until he tried his best to make the man crack a smile. He managed it and dragged him out to go clubbing afterward and drank until they both were dizzy and red in the faces. Asahi was just painfully awkward with new people he met.

“Sahi… You’re too nice. No, I don't want to be a burden to you. I know how intense I can be and I’m not an easy person to live with. For our friendship, I’ll have to decline.”

Asahi nodded, understanding that Hyunsuk meant his hoarding.

“Is there a reason you wanted me to design a crane hyung?” Asahi asked while wrapping the tattoo in plastic cling wrap.

“Because it’s what I wish to be. Something big, or graceful taking flight..” He half shrugged.

“I just.. It’s a beautiful idea hyung, but…” Hyunsuk looked where Asahi’s eyes were looking at the red thread.

“It’s nothing.” Hyunsuk half-heartedly laughed. Before Asahi could comment any further, the door to the parlor opened with a man whose whole face was obscured with both glasses, mask, and hat carrying a wooden trunk. Hyunsuk recognized him right away as Park Jihoon.

“I-..” Hyunsuk stood up, shocked. Frozen. He could have sworn that Jihoon ghosted him after his last message to him. He thought their bridge was burned, and he’d never want to talk to him again.

“Hyung? You're back from filming in Greenland?” Asahi quickly finished wrapping of Hyunsuk’s arm.

Jihoon first took off the cap, then the sunglasses, then pulled down his mask, revealing his dazzling smile. “ Yep, Tomorrow I’m headed to Turks & Caicos to film some more scenes, then back to a soundstage in California.” He then gave an apologetic look to Hyunsuk.

“Sukkie hyung, I-” He was cut off by the sound of the door opening. A customer was coming in. Hyunsuk acted fast, not wanting the actor to be seen and then causing a commotion. He grabbed the actor’s wrist and dragged him to the back door.

Once they were away, the tattoo artist realized what Jihoon had just said. He called him ‘Sukkie hyung’. He touched his own burning cheeks, not looking Jihoon in the eyes but at his middle.

“What were you going to say?” Hyunsuk softly said, not too sure how to feel about the other man coming back to talk to him.

“I wanted to say I was going to prove you wrong.”

Hyunsuk’s face snapped up in confusion. Jihoon’s grin spread with such delight that his eyes looked like half moons.

“You told me that being around you ruins my image and whatever else you said. I do what I wanna ya know. Who cares? I like you, and whatever you think is so bad about you probably isn’t at all any worse that I’ve ever done, trust me.”

Hyunsuk was so lost. “Huh?”

“Don’t give me that look, hyung!” Jihoon playfully shoved him gently while laughing. The befuddlement never left the smaller man’s face. Jihoon looked down at the ashtray sighing before sucking his teeth, disappointment painted his face.  Hyunsuk’s gut felt heavy suddenly.

“Do you smoke, hyung? You shouldn’t, it’s bad for just about everything." He looked Hyunsuk up and down then he noticed the bulge in the back of his baggy jeans. He reached around him and took the cigarette carton from his pocket and confiscated it from him. Hyunsuk was so thrown for a loop by everything that he didn’t try to argue or take his vice back.

“I got you some things from a couple of my stops to and from Greenland. A gift basket.” Jihoon sat in the metal chair.

“But.. huh? That’s not a basket in there.”

Jihoon threw his head back laughing again, “Trunk, basket, suitcase, whatever, it’s the same thing!”

It really wasn’t. Hyunsuk wanted to scream.

“I got that stuff for you. I don’t know. You’re the luckiest Gun Tower fan there is.” The way Jihoon tilted his head when he looked up at him made him feel an extreme pull from his gut up to his chest. It was that feeling he got when he met Nuri, his ex, the first time in a club after both getting kicked out for being underage. Hyunsuk stumbled back.

“Uh, well, thanks, Jihoon-ssi. I don’t know how to repay you.”

“Well, for one, stop using formalities. Call me Hoonie. All my friends do, or Hoon. Or call me whatever you want to. Come up with something cool.” He reached out, taking Hyunsuk’s hand. “Just repay me by not thinking too hard about the ‘what ifs’ when we talk. I’m just a person like you. I don’t exactly have much time to stick around, but if you could pierce my nostril when I get back? That would be cool.” The way Jihoon’s thumb brushed the back of his hand made him shiver. Hyunsuk nodded.

“Good.”

Jihoon stood up, not breaking eye contact the whole time. There was something behind his smile that seemed so mysterious to him. It was like he was under hypnosis. He watched as the actor put on everything to conceal his face. 

“Remember to quit smoking or I’ll be angry with you, and I’ll message you when I’m not busy, okay? Seeya Sukkie hyung.” 

With that last statement and a wave, Jihoon stepped over the short bushes and rounded the building, leaving.

Hyunsuk released the breath he was holding the whole time. He felt like he’d just gotten off a wild bucking horse and then been placed on a rollercoaster. He was completely emotionally drained from just a simple, friendly conversation, and his heart felt so heavy.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk needed to know for sure. He needed to know if this was all a fluke or if he was only obsessed with the actor in a way only specific to him. He no longer had any more cigarettes since Jihoon took his freshly bought pack, and the artist was on edge. He left the parlor to go to the hookah bar next door, drinking and smoking until he had enough courage to go down the street to Glass, a gay lounge. He had to know.

Hyunsuk wasn’t dressed at all for the club, especially not a gay one. He was swimming in his oversized jeans and hoodie, his hands jammed into the hoodie’s front pocket as he entered the lounge and club, seeing a taller man skimpily clad looking around as if agitated, waiting for someone. The man was really pretty.. But the way he saw him wasn’t at all how he saw pretty women or… Jihoon.

He noticed Hyunsuk staring. He started smiling at Hyunsuk, eyeing him at first. “Hey.” He gestured to the street out the door. “My friends who were going to meet up with me ghosted me.. Wanna hangout? Want me to buy you a drink?” He was now biting his lip, looking him up and down as if wondering if he might surprise him under his baggy clothing. The poor guy was sorely mistaken. Hyunsuk didn’t feel anything. 

“Yeah, sure.. I’m already drunk, so why not?” The taller guy was instantly all over him as they went to the bar.

“Hey, Don.. give me and this guy the usual..”  He wouldn’t look away from Hyunsuk as he rested his arm on his shoulder, his long fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.

“Hey, Xue, where did you even find this guy?” The bartender was more his style, his neck was tattooed with intricate patterns down to his collarbone. It wasn’t freehand work, so he couldn’t tell who his artist was. He was dripped out and stylishly dressed. He did feel drawn. It was either that Hyunsuk was attracted to him or he just was so wasted he didn’t know what exactly. The guy’s face was pretty young looking too, but his body was muscular, with his chest exposed. Hyunsuk couldn’t look away as the drink was put in front of him. He knocked it back, taking deep breaths. 
The other guy, Xue, noticed the subtle exchange, pulling back from Hyunsuk and huffing. 

“You’re so annoying, Don!” He quickly got up and left. Hyunsuk was confused.

“What was that about?” He asked. The bartender shook his head, smirking at him.

“He’s just jealous.. You’re new to this sort of scene, I can tell.” Hyunsuk shrugged.

“Well, yeah, I’ve.. I’m trying to figure myself out. This was dumb.” He quickly tried getting up

“Wait! Are you cutting to the chase? Figuring out if you like men or not? If so, it’s not that hard. Point out anyone here you think is attractive, and I can help you out. I know everyone who comes here.”

He hesitated before glancing around. He chewed at the inside of his cheek. “You, I’m attracted to you.” Hyunsuk squinted at him. “But you’re working.”

The man, Don, he assumed, smirked and chuckled. “Alright, well, I can take a quick break.” 

Hyunsuk didn’t know where he got the courage from or if he was so desperate for touch that he just went with whatever his libido wanted suddenly. He followed Don through a back door and down a set of stairs into an underground room. It led into another room that had low lighting and was cozy, a completely made-over basement flat. He didn’t have time to take it all in as an arm was looped around his waist and the firm muscles of another man pressed into his back. Soft lips brushed along the back of his neck, making him gasp.

“You’re not exactly my type, but you’re cute,” Don mumbled against his skin before turning him, devouring his lips. 

The man’s lips were really soft and wasn’t that vastly different from kissing a woman, only the slight roughness behind the kiss as a tongue coaxed him to open up and take it was different. He moaned from his tongue brushing against Don's, his eyes fluttering closed as he rested his hands on the man’s firm chest. He had to crane his head up a little to kiss him, but it felt so good. 

It was so amazing how he felt himself growing hard.

His hoodie was quickly removed, followed by his jeans. Hyunsuk’s head was spinning as he felt a hand cup his groin. Rougher, bigger hands than his own. He closed his eyes as he was pressed against the back of the brown leather sofa. Don’s hand slipped inside his boxer briefs and touched him. His teeth tugged at his lip ring before attacking his throat. He had been so out of it that he didn’t even realize the name he moaned or that he even moaned at all.

“If you're gonna moan, cutie. Say my name…. Do you remember? It’s Don.” The amused bartender smiled against his shoulder as his hand continued to roam his body.

“I’ve never.. Not with a man, remember.” He breathily explained as he felt something hard and long pressed against his thigh. He was once aroused, but now he was terrified. He backed away. When he looked at the man in front of him, he started to sober a little. He realized this wasn’t how he wanted to do this. Not with this guy he didn’t know.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

Hyunsuk froze but quickly began to pick up his scattered clothing and put it back on.

The bartender sighed. “Seriously? Wasting my time?! Hey, say something!” Don’s voice rose as he grabbed Hyunsuk’s wrist. “All that whining about wanting to find out, only to chicken out?! You owe me! Get on your knees!” He shoved him.

Hyunsuk didn’t even think as he pulled his fist back and punched the man in the mouth, instantly splitting the other man’s lip open. He swore as he clutched his face, furious. Right when he was turning to run up the stairs, his leg was grabbed. Hyunsuk kicked and shook him off, busting the door open and running out of the alleyway onto the empty night streets, rubbing his wrist, still tingling from being squeezed.

One thing he learned was he was never going to do something like that again and that he was no longer in denial even though that guy sucked, he did originally find him attractive before he turned into an asshole. Hyunsuk briskly walked back to the parlor, putting the events that had transpired behind him.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Jihoon came back a week later with more gifts. This time from California and Turks and Caico. Luckily, the parlor was closed for the day he messaged him, asking him if he could come visit. Another trunk, this time full of spicy snacks.

“J-Jihoonie..” He started trying to see how the nickname sounded. Jihoon nodded in approval, gesturing to continue speaking.

“I.. I really appreciate all this but, it's a lot and, well. If I continue to take gifts from you, I’ll feel bad. I can’t exactly return the favor since you can practically buy whatever you want.”

“Nonsense! I’m buying your friendship!” Jihoon cheerfully said, shocking Hyunsuk. “It’s a joke, hyung. Come pierce my ear.. I want a tragus!” He ran over to flop onto Hyunsuk’s hydraulic bed.

“I’m not gonna do that, it's really gonna hurt…”

Jihoon grinned up at him as he approached. “How about back dimples?”

“I’m not body modding an A-list celebrity without some sort of doctor clearance.. Or something.”

Jihoon laughed, making him turn red. “Why not?! Do other people need clearance?” 

“Sometimes. So you’re a sometimes person, so it’s a no.” He tried imagining Jihoon with back dimple piercings but couldn’t get past thinking about his muscular back.

“Well, keep it simple. Give me a helix.” Hyunsuk hesitated, but then he went to feel Jihoon’s ear to see if it was a good idea. “Alright. That’s fine since your ear is shaped for it.” He went to the sink and washed his hands, and prepared all the needed tools. 

“Turn your head and lay still. You’re gonna feel a quick sting, possibly this time, but it’s not going to be as bad as the conch was.” He talked as he cleaned the piercing area with an alcohol wipe. He dotted the piercing spot, telling Jihoon to take a look in the propped up mirror to see it.

“Looks good to me.” Was all he said before he laid back down and did as Hyunsuk instructed. He knew Jihoon hated countdowns, so he just went for it. The actor hissed as he gave the stud room for the swelling, putting the back not too close to the newly created hole.

“Hey, wanna get ice cream?” Jihoon asked while spraying the piercing with antibacterial spray with numbing.

“Why ice cream suddenly?” Hyunsuk asked, confused.

“I just wanna hang out with my hyung. Let’s get ice cream. My driver’s down the block!” He cheerfully bounced back from being pierced, even though his eyes were still holding unshed tears.

“Well.. Okay, why not? We won’t get out of the car, right?” Hyunsuk asked while disposing of his gloves.

“No, we can just chill out in the back.” He put on his mask, making sure he was careful of his piercing. Hyunsuk followed the actor out, trying to keep up with his fast walking pace. He realized he was trying to be quick just in case. He told him through messages that he knows that he gets followed even if he doesn't know who it is following him. Jihoon tapped the car’s window before opening it and sliding in the back. Hyunsuk climbed in after him.

“Baskin-Robbins? Sounds good?” He let his driver know. They began to move, and Hyunsuk felt so out of place in the luxury vehicle. He glanced over at Jihoon, who probably felt his eyes on him.

“Hey Sukkie hyung, what sort of flavor do you like?” He pushed up the sleeves of his blazer as he asked. The sight for Hyunsuk shouldn’t have been anything erotic but Jihoon’s forearms…

Hyunsuk felt like he might explode. Jihoon was too close, too much ’Park Jihoon’, and he didn’t want ice cream anymore, he really just wanted him.
“Pineapple Ice.. sometimes Mango Tango.” He looked down at his own lap, trying to calm himself down.

“We’re gonna get Mint Chocolate Chip.” Jihoon simply stated.

“Why even ask if you are gonna choose for me?” Hyunsuk pouted, bewildered that the actor had just randomly switched up on him so quickly. He was like this in their messages, too.

“Because it's good, and you need to try it. It’s refreshing.”

The driver parked and went in to make the purchases for them. The car was now quiet again.

“Hey Sukkie hyung, why did you go to that gay club, Glass? I thought you didn’t like men.” Jihoon asked, looking at his new piercing in a hand mirror, which he had taken out of his pocket. Hyunsuk’s eyes widened comically. How did he even know?

“Relax, Asahi told me.” He still had to figure out his burial plans for Asahi once he got rid of him for good.

“Just.. I don’t mean to be nosy; I'm just curious since you told me something completely different.”

“Look, Jihoon.. I thought- well, it’s confusing and complicated. I thought I didn’t like men… I got curious and I went to see.”

“Well, what’s your verdict?” Jihoon tilted his head.

“That I maybe do, but I still like women too.” He rubbed his hands together, and they felt sweaty and tingly.

“Well, welcome to the club, buddy.” He poked him in the ribs, making him yelp. He quickly slapped a hand over his mouth as Jihoon cackled, way too happy about surprising him like that. 

The driver came back with the ice creams, gazing between the both of them. He tasted his to cover up from the embarrassing sound he made. He’d forgotten that Jihoon picked the flavor without paying attention to the mint green ice cream in his hand. He liked it.

“It’s good, right?” Jihoon ate small scoops with the small pink spoon. Hyunsuk watched him eat intently. He nodded. He did like the flavor.

“See, instead of  smoking cigarettes, just eat mint choco ice cream.”

“Not at the rate I used to smoke cigarettes…” 

Jihoon laughed.

“I quit smoking right when you took my last box away, Jihoonie.” Hyunsuk shrugged.

He didn’t realize how quiet it was until he looked up and saw the actor staring at him.

“Do you feel better after not smoking for almost a month now?”

Hyunsuk nodded.

“That’s good.:”

Jihoon had gotten uncharacteristically quiet.  They finished up their ice cream, and the driver started moving.

“Are we dropping you off back at Indigo Ink? It’s really late, hyung…Don’t you want us to take you home?”

“No!” Was Hyunsuk’s lightning-speed response.

“Oh, woah! Hey, I get it! This car dropping you off in front of your neighbors would’ve been a lot. I understand.” He smiled at him.

The hysteria about to bubble up in him quelled only for a moment. That was until He felt a warm palm on his cheek once they had parked where they began.

“Sukkie hyung. I know I‘m not around a lot, and you seem to be very private, but if something is bothering you, let me know. I vent to you about dumb things, and you pay attention to everything I say so…” He glanced at his driver through the rearview mirror before unbuckling himself and embracing the other man. He sucked in a shaky breath.

“I’ve heard some shady things about Glass… just be careful, okay?” He pulled away. Jihoon’s eyes looked so sad. Seeing up close now, Hyunsuk saw the mask crumble a little. He slipped out of the car and closed the door, watching it take off down the road.

Chapter Text

Hyunsuk drew his legs up in his razor chair with his drawing tablet in his lap, looking at the graffiti design he was making for a client. It was the only kind of cleanish part of his apartment... Well, It wasn't, but his desk with his computer was clear enough, even though everything else crowded around him. 

He watched a Comic Con panel live stream on his second screen. It was eight in the morning for him, but he set his alarm specifically to see Jihoon talk about a possible Gun Tower sequel. Hyunsuk was pretty fluent in English, but he fumbled with his mouse to switch on the Korean subtitles when he saw the actors and movie representatives arrive. The fans dressed like the characters stood and cheered as they entered.

Jihoon told him this was his first stop of many interviews between his filming of ‘Past Assassin’ in their text exchanges. Hyunsuk tried his best to listen to the words coming from Jihoon’s mouth, but he was distracted by his gorgeous smile and how cool he was dressed. Leather jackets seemed made specifically for the man.

“So a sequel?” The actor who played the villain, who was also very handsome, turned to Jihoon with knowing eyes and a smile before passing him the mic.

“Should we tell them? I have a buddy back home who is itching to know.” He said it while looking into the camera with a cheeky smile on his face. It felt like his eyes were boring into him thousands of kilometers away. He leaned closer to the screen. “Play the clip!” Jihoon yelled.

There was a fade to black, then the sound of someone panting, running. The camera panned as the music began to swell into a minor chord. It went from Jihoon’s character ‘Sung’s’ side profile as he ran, panning more and more until it was an overhead shot of him running through a field with a crowd behind him running, chasing him with various weapons and projectiles.  The overhead shot got further until, in the distance, a tall wall with a metal tower with weapons attached before the original logo with the number two appeared. The whole crowd roared with excitement.

Hyunsuk let out a shaky breath. He promised himself he wouldn't cry if he saw a teaser. He was saving the tears for the trailer.

The actors seemed genuinely happy by the fans’ wild response when the stream focused back on the actors at their panel table. Jihoon grabbed the mic. “When my agent told me they wanted me back for a sequel, I had such a hard time keeping the information from my friends and family.” He laughed.

“Had to get the teaser out before you spoiled it.” The producer joked and laughed.  They continued to talk a bit about how they shot that teaser and began to take fan questions. 

Hyunsuk was so excited that he waited until the end of the two-hour panel to rewind back to the teaser to the scene of Jihoon’s side profile with the desperado hat on as he ran. The tattoo artist chewed at the end of his stylus, tilting his head and taking in the pretty shape of his face. He opened a new layer in his drawing program and began to work on drawing a silhouette of the character’s face. He debated if he should save it or not, pulling the hair tie from his high ponytail, standing and stretching. He leaned over and saved everything after much debate with himself. He wanted to know Jihoon’s opinion on fans tattooing stuff from his movies on their body first.

He knew a lot of fans did it, but he still wasn't sure he should.

When he heard a knock at his front door, he jumped. No one knew where he lived except Asahi, Haruto, and Yoshi, and everyone else was in the parlor working. It could be someone who worked for the building or the housing manager. Haruto did warn him. He stood there refusing to answer the door. There was another knock, followed by the doorbell ringing.

“Oppa! I know you’re in there! I went to the parlor and I just heard you watching something!”

It was Nuri. She somehow found out where he lived. Hyunsuk made his way over to the door through a pile of things and squeezed to the front door, peeking through the peephole of his door. Even seeing a fish-eyed view of her dyed orange hair made his chest hurt.

“Oppa talk to me!”

“Nuri leave!” He yelled from his side of the door, refusing to let her cause a scene.

“No! Let me in right now! You threw away everything and ran away! Do you think that's fair to me?! To the people you left behind?!”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“Fuck everyone I left! Now leave!”

She glanced up at the view hole in disbelief.

“Even your own mother?! She comes to the parlor all the time asking if I've heard from you!”

Hyunsuk yanked open the door, the edge of it hitting the stacked boxes behind him, and she gasped, looking at him, shocked.

“Don't you dare bring her up. After all the stuff you did? How much you put me through?! Everything you and him…” He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “ Leave, never come back here.” He knew his voice was trembling with anger.  

Her eyes began to well up with tears as she looked at his surroundings. She looked petrified. When he saw where she was looking, he glanced over his shoulder, feeling his own tears start to well up. 

“Just go..” he huffed, trying to push her from the doorway before any neighbors came out to see the commotion and report him to the housing management. Nuri gripped Hyunsuk's arm.

Her eyes were glassy with tears. He hated this so much. She tried to reach out and touch his cheek, but he flinched away and backed up as much as he could, slamming the door in her face.

He felt so sick to his stomach as he rested his forehead on the cool wooden door.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

‘Hey Sukkie hyung, I'm attending a wrap party and Giselle can't make it as my plus one. Wanna be my drinking buddy for the night?’

It’s been nine weeks since the beginning of filming ‘Past Assassin’, and through every stage of it, Jihoon had updated him on where he was and what he was doing, along with exploring most of the places he filmed. He was confused as to why Giselle couldn't go with him, though.

He still didn't exactly understand if they were really in a relationship or since Jihoon never exactly made it clear but he did come across a media post on Twitter that talked about how lovey dovey the two were at another drama actor's birthday party followed by photos of them smiling and his tongue down her throat.

It was scandalous, but Jihoon was known to do a lot of scandalous things in the eyes of the Korean general public. Globally, the fans loved it. Hyunsuk thought he loved it at first, since before he met Jihoon, he saw him as his character. A handsome, cool, confident guy who got all the pretty girls, and Hyunsuk used to eat that sort of thing up.

Now, the emotion that he couldn't pinpoint, so familiar and painful. The ugly creature living inside him called jealousy free-loaded inside him. It was the first time he'd ever felt jealous of a woman before, and he hated it because he had met the actress before, and she was such a sweet woman.

He didn’t want to have any regrets, though.

‘Jihoon, it’s a private event, right? No cameras? Nothing where I’ll be perceived?’

Hyunsuk didn’t get an answer right away. He put his phone away to begin his work on tattooing his client, smiling and making small talk with the older gentleman as he tattooed, probably the strangest thing in a while. A tarantula surfing the waves using a leaf as a surfboard. The man gave no backstory or anything. He was straightforward with what he wanted. 

When Hyunsuk finished and saw message after message from Jihoon, he was overwhelmed. Telling him it was a private wrap party with no paparazzi, that he had already bought him a ticket to fly into California for it, that he knows the perfect outfit for him, linking him to the Redlight mall site. He gave him the date for the party.

“Woah woah woah!” Hyunsuk scrolled through everything Jihoon was bombarding him with.

‘You can pick up the outfit from the department store. Just trust me. You have a week to prepare.’

His eyes blurred the longer he stared at his phone screen unblinking.

“Hyung, you look like you’ve seen a ghost..” Yoshi came over hearing him freaking out a little. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m.. Well, Park Jihoon, …I’m going to a party with him.” 

Yoshi’s face went from surprised to elated. “Hyung, that's so cool!  Can I come?!” He draped himself on Hyunsuk, trying to get a closer look at his messages.

“Nope.” He recovered quickly as he smiled at him, pushing his head away. He opened the link to the outfit Jihoon suggested. It was really intricate and grungey but also really chic. He was afraid he might look too scrawny in it compared to Jihoon’s filled-out muscles or the model wearing the outfit in the link. He blushed at the semi-sheer black top that went under the tattered black long tweed jacket. If Jihoon thought it would look good, he would try it.

Hyunsuk glanced at himself in the mirror. His hair had gotten so long, and his inky black roots had grown. He felt that perhaps he would feel much better after a haircut. He sent a text message to his stylist friend.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk loved Doyoung as a little brother, and he was the one who convinced him to move to Seoul in the first place for business. Both of their mothers, being childhood friends, made it so that they were extremely close. What he did not expect when he showed up to the fluorescent open floored salon was Doyoung straddling a client at the shampoo bowl, washing a man’s hair while his butt was being groped. On closer inspection, once his mind registered what he was witnessing, he recognized the tattooed long arms of the groper..

He cleared his throat. Doyoung’s head quickly snapped to him with his eyes wide. Haruto didn’t stop groping, his eyes still closed. Completely shameless.

Doyoung, who froze at first, continued to scratch at Haruto’s scalp while staring unblinking at him, caught.

“...Hello? Dobby? Am I interrupting something?” Hyunsuk stood awkwardly in the middle of the empty salon.

“....No?” Doyoung leaned down to whisper something to Haruto, who reluctantly stopped his groping with a scowl. The stylist climbed out of his lap quickly, finishing up washing the other man’s hair.

“Did you forget my appointment?” He gripped the strap of his messenger bag, not sure if he should take it off or if he had to come back later.

“Well, kind of. Sorry, hyung…”

“You guys do realize the sign on the door still says open, right? What if someone other than me came in? Huh?” He knew he was now scolding them, but he was still in complete and utter shock.

“I thought I changed it to closed…” Doyoung shrugged with a nervous smile.

“Ruto.. how long have you been together? You guys always keep me in the dark about stuff.” He took a seat, still feeling even more awkward from what he saw.

“Hyung, don’t pout,”  was all Haruto said, smiling with his eyes still closed.

He looked at himself in the mirror and tried to change his expression. He was right.

“Well, I need a haircut.” 

“Wait your turn,” Haruto interjected again. Doyoung laughed at his lover teasing his hyung. Hyunsuk turned around, ignoring the two, and pulled out his phone to check his social media. A good distraction from the Twilight Zone-like situation he was currently in was welcomed.

Jihoon was still in the middle of doing interview tours. How he sat upright with such confidence, and his smile... He was quick-witted, and charisma poured from every pore in his body. His making it this far now in Hollywood made so much sense. He was so enamoured that he didn’t even feel Doyoung come from behind him, almost an hour after fooling around in Haruto's hair.

“Hyung, do you want your hair dyed too?” 

Hyunsuk nearly jumped out of his skin. “Ah- No, just bleaching..”

Doyoung glanced at his phone. Then he began getting started. “You’re still obsessed with that movie, hyung, or is it the actor?” He glanced again and chuckled. “That’s for a different movie, right?”

For once, Hyunsuk didn’t get defensive or deny it. He just sighed. He felt Doyoung freeze, resting his hands on his shoulders. “Hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s with the sigh?” Doyoung leaned down this time, resting his chin on his shoulder to see why he was staring so intently at the paused video on his phone screen.

“Can I ask you something hypothetical? Be honest with me, and don’t try to butter up your answer with a joke, okay?” Hyunsuk glanced at the stylist, who nodded. “Someone like him.. An actor like Park Jihoon… do you think I’m good-looking enough or have the chance to catch someone like him…. That I would catch their attention?”

Doyoung didn't say anything, his fingers massaging the back of Hyunsuk's skull before pausing.

“I think you're really handsome, hyung, and you could catch anyone, but a man’s attention? Since when? Are you thinking about dating again?" He turned his chair so he was facing him, planting both his hands on the armrests, caging him in his seat. "Are you over... well, you know who? Wait, why Park Jihoon suddenly? Are you a celeb chaser?”

“He’s going on a date with Park Jihoon in California.” Haruto grinned from the seat, he was turning side to side slowly across from them.

“What?! God, really?!” Doyoung covered his mouth in amazement.

“Not a date.. We are only friends but…” Hyunsuk locked his phone, putting it away in his pocket.

“You like him, hyung? I heard he’d come to the district for a tattoo from Asahi hyung, but I didn’t know you guys were close.” Doyoung finally began sectioning his hair to bleach it.

“That’s how we met. When he came in for a tattoo.. We’ve talked every day pretty much since, and I do like him, but there’s no way… You know?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Wait, hyung so… you aren’t joking, you’re really into him?” Haruto leaned forward, gleefully studying his boss, intrigued by this development and not used to him seeming so unsure of himself.

“Yeah..” He sounded so anguished and looked it, too. Haruto held back from the teasing he was going to do. He could tell this must have been a lot for his hyung.

“Hyung, you're both pretty and a swaggy stud.” He complimented with so much sincerity that Hyunsuk gave him a grossed out look. “Don’t make that face. Don’t be bratty. Take the compliment.” Haruto got up and grabbed his phone from Doyoung’s vanity. “I’ve gotta run. Hyung, you’re hot, so stop whining.” He directed his attention to Doyoung next, holding the front door open, “See you later tonight Bunny.” Hyunsuk didn’t like the look that passed between the two.

“Yuck, …ew.”

Doyoung laughed, wrapping the coverage of his hair. “Hyung, Haruto isn’t wrong. I feel like he could already possibly be into you since you said he talks to you every day… That sort of effort for someone you recently met, along with him inviting you across the world to just hang out for a night… It feels like he’s courting you.”

“...Really?” His eyebrows rose.

“Oh hyung…” Doyoung shook his head and just continued. He continued to sit and stew over the words his two friends said to him.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Preparing and packing was the easy part of this excursion to the United States to meet up with Jihoon. The hard part was meeting up with Jihoon when he landed. It was nerve-wracking.
 
Luckily, he didn’t meet with Jihoon right away and went to his hotel and got ready the night of the wrap party. He only tried on the clothing once, and he felt silly and out of place with how small his waist looked. He felt like he looked like a character in an old skateboarding video game where his shape was exaggerated, cartoonish. This time around, with the accessories and his bleach-blonde undercut mullet and sunglasses, he looked like a celebrity himself. The look was growing on him.

His phone buzzed, and a message from Jihoon was sent that only said, ‘come outside.’ There was no way Jihoon was out there, it would cause a ruckus. He was so anxious that he wanted to hurry up and pack everything and catch a plane back home. He could feel himself trembling as he rode the elevator down. Hyunsuk approached the valet, anticipating seeing a private car or something, expecting Jihoon to get out, but he was greeted by a single driver in a Rolls-Royce. It was extravagant, but there was no Park Jihoon.

“Mr. Choi?” The driver greeted, opening the door.  He thanked him sheepishly, climbing into the offered seat. When the door closed, he felt his phone buzz in the breast pocket of the tweed jacket.

‘I can’t wait to see you. Other than four of my co-stars, I hate everyone else here… snobs.’

Jihoon was venting to him again. Did he stray off to message him? Hyunsuk blushed at the first sentence, rereading it over and over again. The ride to the soundstage in Burbank, where the party was being held, would take him almost thirty minutes to get to, according to the GPS he saw in the front.

‘It’s going to be a while. Why are you suddenly being anti-social? I thought you got along with everyone in your cast?’

Fifteen minutes into his ride, he felt his phone buzz again but opted out on checking it, not wanting to get carsick reading while riding as his driver kept up with traffic speed. After fourteen more minutes of riding, the car pulled in front of the valet, where he saw Jihoon standing on the stairs and doorway of the soundstage, with large barn-like doors. When Hyunsuk stepped out and straightened his jacket lapel, he pushed his sunglasses up, confused by what he was seeing.

A blonde woman was leaning, holding herself up on Jihoon while laughing and talking to him about something. Jihoon’s eyes looked like he was begging for help as Hyunsuk stepped out of the car.

“Ah! Looks like my plus one just arrived!” Jihoon cheerfully exclaimed while peeling her off his shoulder. She just giggled, sitting up.

“Oh, hi! Jihoon’s been waiting for you." Hyunsuk could barely make out what she was saying with her slurred speech. She was hammered.

“Hello.” He nodded, distracted by his worries about the drunken women, he didn’t even notice how Jihoon swiftly came into his bubble and wrapped his arm around the small of his back to guide him to the door.

“It was nice seeing you again, Maria!” Jihoon called, trying to quickly usher him into the party where the music reverberated off the walls.

“God, that’s the executive producer’s daughter, and she’s like that all the time... Poor girl,” Jihoon whispered in his ear, sending a shiver through him as his voice tickled his ear. Jihoon pulled back briefly to look him up and down.

“Wow, I knew you’d look hot in this. It’s way hotter than I thought it would look.” The smile that spread on the actor’s face did things to him. Hyunsuk didn’t even have time to take in all of Jihoon because of how he arrived in the middle of a situation. Jihoon’s hair was styled so handsomely, his bangs so fluffy, and the outfit hugged every curve and muscle of his body nicely. His collar bones exposed. Hyunsuk wanted to put his lips on his skin, leaving his own artwork, adding onto the other many tattoos permanently etched on his body, like his very own constellation of stars on an even brighter star left only by him.

If his mind kept drifting, it was going to be a long night.

He quickly snapped his eyes up to Jihoon, grinning to recover from his thoughts. "I like what you're wearing too, you pull anything off though."

His cast members came up and introduced themselves to him and talked to Jihoon, breaking his spell briefly. He slowly went from starstruck to nervous, then excited. He hadn’t felt this elated in mingling in a long time. He laughed and told them how he met Jihoon when they asked and his profession, and a few of the actors even asked to do work for them. 

He glanced back at Jihoon once he had talked to the actress who told him she was playing Jihoon’s character’s love interest's husband about wanting to come to Korea for a mantis tattoo, and he felt Jihoon’s arm around his waist again. He glanced up to see the actor staring at him as he finished up the conversation.

The actors' lips quirked up. “You were made for this type of thing.. Networking way better than me. You look really good, sharp.” He complimented, making Hyunsuk almost swallow his own tongue when he took a sip of his drink.

"I took a couple of business classes." He raised his chin at him haughtily, being playfully smart.

"Excuse me, master Lee Jaeyong-ssi.. Well, you look good, Mr. Business savvy, making your business rounds." The emphasis on the word business each time in English in the accented way teasing the way he said it before, made Hyunsuk laugh, lightly shoving Jihoon.

“You're pretty smart sounding too." He complimented back after calming down his laughter. " Hey, so Jihoon? I’m curious.” He tried to recover by asking him something that had been sitting in the back of his mind since Jihoon invited him.

Jihoon’s hand never left his back, now moving unconsciously, or maybe it was conscious, to his waist as they walked. Jihoon nodded as he grazed along the table full of finger foods.

“Well, did you really need a plus one? Um, flying me out here… It’s a nice gesture, but isn’t it a bit much? Even as friends?” 

Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows like Hyunsuk just asked him if he knew the answer to the secrets of the universe. He chewed before answering.

“Huh?” His smile and the glint in his eyes made Hyunsuk very aware now that Jihoon was trying to find an in and use this conversation to tease him a bit.

“I mean, I’m gonna be blunt, why me and not your girlfriend? I’m just one of your friends.” Jihoon made a face at the word 'girlfriend'.. Did he assume wrong?

“What? You think you’re not sexy enough arm candy to keep me company?” He tittered while reaching for another snack. Hyunsuk wasn’t taken by the teasing and borderline flirting this time. He didn’t know what suddenly made him brave. Maybe he was tired of the vagueness, or if it was the tiny amounts of alcohol coursing through him... It could have been the purple hue lights of the party or the elegantly sexy atmosphere surrounding their aura around them, but he grabbed Jihoon’s wrist after he’d picked up a strawberry tart from a tray. He guided his hand to his mouth to take the first bite.

Jihoon froze, unblinking and studying him. The reality suddenly hit him when he saw Jihoon look down at his lips, making him subconsciously lick at the jelly that might have attached itself to his piercing. Jihoon was transfixed on it. He snapped out of it, and Hyunsuk watched him swiftly and quickly go over to one of the staff wandering around and whisper something to them. When he quickly came back, he took Hyunsuk’s hand. 

“Let’s go.” He strained, guiding him out to the valet to flag down his driver.

“Wait, Jihoon, where-”

The SUV with tinted windows came around with the back door popping open. Hyunsuk didn’t even have enough time to get a good look at the make and model of the luxury vehicle before Jihoon was inside, and he was coaxed inside too, almost losing his sunglasses from the top of his head in the process.

Once the door closed, Jihoon leaned forward to the driver. “To Marmont.” He told him before he pressed a button to roll up the back seat partition window so the driver couldn’t look in the seats behind him.

He didn’t have time to react when Jihoon took his sunglasses from him and leaned in, closing his eyes, and he right away felt the softest and warmest lips on his. The actor twisted his body more, pressing closer and holding the headrest as his lips moved against his, kissing him with fever, but then slowing down to cup his jaw as he got a better angle to invite his tongue into the mix.

Hyunsuk gripped the collar of Jihoon’s jacket in his fist as the car took off, and his tongue brushed against his and paid longer attention to the barbell pierced through it.

He’d never melted from a kiss before, but he felt like he was turning into goo and fusing with the seat as he trembled. The muffled noise he made was rather loud, and he could feel Jihoon’s smile as he never stopped kissing him. 

Park Jihoon’s tongue and lips were imprinting in him with such eager enthusiasm he couldn’t even snap out of his daze, even as the car ramped off the freeway and he was trying to brace from the turn and they separated for air, his ringed fingers clunked against the window as he tried to slide back up using the door but Jihoon was like a hungry dog in front of a bowl of fresh meat. Aggressively hovering over him, his pupils blown. 

Hyunsuk felt so concupiscent that the noise that came out of him when Jihoon began kissing and nipping along his jaw didn’t even embarrass him. He had no room for feeling self-conscious. He was experiencing one of his many fantasies, and he still couldn't believe at all what was going on.

His lips still tingled, and Hyunsuk could taste the other man’s sweetness. Jihoon slowed down more and more. Calming down but still kissing him on his neck and face like he was so precious, gentle, and easy. His lips barely brushed his skin. The underlying greed was still there. Like a hummingbird drinking nectar, hungry but soft, not overzealous in his actions.

Jihoon finally spoke, “Sukkie hyung, do you get it now?.. What I want?”

Hyunsuk softly sighed, closing his eyes. “--Wha..?”

“I’ve wanted to taste you since the first time I saw you. I wanted you then, I want you now.. Doing that dangerous stuff with the desserts, I've held back, wanting to take things slowly because I really like you... Shit- hyung, are you playing dumb most of the time for fun?” The bite to his ear made him shiver again.

He shook his head frantically. How was he supposed to know? Hyunsk gripped the back of Jihoon’s jacket as he softly keened.

The car came to a halt in the back of the hotel instead of the front. When Hyunsuk opened his eyes, he felt Jihoon pepper one last kiss to his face before opening the door and taking a deep breath, slipping out, and straightening his clothing and hair. Almost like he knew what direction the paparazzi were coming from. He didn’t acknowledge Hyunsuk at all, shutting the door, leaving him in a daze as he saw them round the corner of the building and surround Jihoon, flashing their cameras and taking pictures of him as he hurried into the hotel. The car took off around the block a couple of times.

The hand on Hyunsuk’s chest did nothing to quell how ferociously it hammered in his ribcage.

He had no idea what the hell was going on. He just scrambled to sit up in the back seat, and eventually the driver rolled down the partition.

“Have you gathered your bearings, Mr. Choi?” For a split second, Hyunsuk forgot English.

“Ah, … uh– huh?” He was still catching his breath.

“Just rounding the block two times. Then I’ll drop you off in the front, sir. Mr. Park is in room 2048B on the 22nd floor.” The amused smile on the driver's face in the reflection of the rearview mirror as he handed a room card to him over his shoulder made his face heat up in embarrassment this time. They rounded the block again, and the car came to a halt. He let himself out with a meek ‘thank you’ and headed to the elevators, hurrying on one using the card to get to the right floor. He repeated the room number over and over in his head until he found it using the key to open the door right away.

When the door shut behind him and he walked into the spacious dining area of the presidential suite, he timidly came in. Not as bold as he was when charging down the hallway. He ran up the stairs, guessing where the actor was when he heard shuffling.

“Jihoon? “ He spoke up and came to a stop when he saw the muscular back he wanted to reach out and touch. Jihoon turned, hearing his voice, and before Hyunsuk could say anything more, Jihoon grabbed him by the waist with one arm and used his other hand to push off the large tweed coat, making haste as he undressed him.

“Ah- Jihoon…” He gasped as he felt the other man’s teeth dig into his sensitive neck before laving with his tongue. He pushed his hips forward, sighing through his nose when he felt Jihoon press against him, lining up against his own trapped erection in his jeans, which were way too tight. He needed them off.

When he was in this position before with another man, he was scared, but right now… He needed to know more. Beyond curious about what he felt, making him squeeze Jihoon closer to him. His overheated body against his that usually ran colder. He wasn’t scared at all, he wanted whatever. Hyunsuk wanted Jihoon.

He let the actor strip him down, all the while kissing his lips. Fitting against him nicely like Lego pieces. Jihoon guided him, pushing him down into the downy comforter of the large bed. With the actor hovering over him, dipping down to slowly, his tongue skillful as he guided through their kiss. Hyunsuk matched him perfectly as he softly sighed when they broke apart. Everything was so sudden, and a part of him wanted to question if he should even let this happen, but he wanted this so badly he could cry. 

“Sukkie hyung touch me too.” Could Jihoon read his mind? Did the other man want him as desperately as he did? He grabbed Hyunsuk’s hands and guided them to his belt looped tightly, to tug at his pants. When Jihoon pulled back from kissing him, he just stared at him with such endearment. When Hyunsuk noticed, he stopped.

“What is it?” He whispered. Jihoon shook his head. “You’re so focused.” He began kissing along his jaw again and nipping at his ear.

“I’m trying to get ‘em off.” He heard the silliest laugh near his ear that made him smile. The actor reached down to help him and then began helping him with his own his mouth moving down to lick and suck at his nipples. He rolled his hips up, moaning rather loudly, not expecting it. He never thought about the sensitivity of that part of his body.

His sex life with Nuri was infrequent and very vanilla when they did do anything, so Jihoon slowly making his way down his body with his tongue and lips sent his heart racing like an engine pumping blood to his nether regions. Yanking down his black stressed jeans did things start to make him a bit self-conscious again, but Jihoon didn’t seem to study his body at all. Just right away pressing his lips against the solid bulge in his underwear, as he glanced up before pulling the offending article of clothing off, keeping him from his goal.

Hyunsuk covered his own mouth as he was freed, a tremor going up his body like a chill. He closed his eyes, not wanting to know what Jihoon’s possible expression could be. Two hands grabbed him by his thighs, and he had no clue he was that limber, but his legs were spread.

“Hold- wait!” Hyunsuk’s voice cracked. Caught completely off guard as his eyes opened, he witnessed Jihoon kissing along the inside of his thighs. He could feel the sweat starting to form on his forehead already. The sight alone, unimaginable as he stiffened so much that it hurt.

“So pretty..” Jihoon murmured, not giving Hyunsuk any warning as his plush lips pressed against the base of the underside of his shaft, making his flex his feet and reach for Jihoon’s hair. Hyunsuk didn’t mean to grab a fistful of his hair, but he was overwhelmed.

The last warning he got before Jihoon fully engulfed him was his tongue tasting him before he felt hot, wet heat surrounding him. He swore and thrusted up into Jihoon’s hot mouth confused and horny, not exactly knowing what to do with the sensations he was feeling.

He moaned his name over and over, gasping when he came up lewdly, the wet sound of his mouth still toying with the tip before leaving him alone, not wanting him to release yet. Languidly stroking him as he squirmed below him.

“How do you want to do this, hyung? Did you anticipate tonight? This looks clean enough to eat. Did you prepare?” Jihoon’s fingers went from stroking him to reaching down lower at his ass, feeling his fingers rub, pressing a finger pad onto the velvety skin of his pucker.

It would be a lie if he said no. He did prepare, but not thinking this sort of thing would actually happen with Jihoon. His reasoning was a bit fucked, but if the night turned out to be a disaster due to his own destruction he was going to find something or someone willing to self destruct with him. His thinking wasn’t healthy at all, and he knew it. Hyunsuk was very self-aware, and preparing for the worst outcome was a bit odd and deranged, but it happened without a thought, and he wanted to know what that area felt like in the process of figuring out other things.

The results of his testing were inconclusive, but with Jihoon’s finger there now, it felt like a completely different planet that he landed on.

“Please..” He was ashamed of how needy his own voice sounded but at that moment, with Park Jihoon offering to breach him and fuck him silly like in his dreams, between his spread legs with the ceiling fixture light hanging and creating the illusion of a halo behind his head, he’d let Jihoon canabalize him if he asked at this point.

“Roll over..” Jihoon’s smooth husky voice lulled him to do as he asked, grabbing a pillow to press his face into. He felt a shift on the bed, and Jihoon leaned over him and reached the side table. He turned his head to see, and he saw both the foil square of a condom and him grabbing a small packet of something else. 

Jihoon’s hands on his ass gropping him made his voice hitch. He squeezed his eyes closed as his hips were lifted. Hyunsuk thought Jihoon would go for penetrating him or something. He wasn’t sure exactly what was supposed to happen, but he didn’t expect to feel a warm hand move from the small of his back and then his fingers tracing his shoulder blades.

“What sort of flowers are these?” The way Jihoon softly asked made Hyunsuk relax more into the touch.

“Wild indigos..” The design on his back was designed by himself. He had Yoshi transfer the design for him as soon as he moved to Seoul. The shape of the flower sprigs made the detailed shape of wings on his back.

“Is there a reason for it? Any meaning?” Jihoon went from touching the tattoo to opening the packet from before.

“..Wild indigos can help poisonous snake bites.. Added to some antivenoms… The purple flowers also mean protection, safety.”

Jihoon didn’t ask anything more, starting to reach one hand around to touch him while working his finger inside. It didn’t feel bad or good, just like something was in him. He was more distracted by the stroking of his cock and the hot and hard cock pressed against his thigh now that Jihoon was nude and supporting him while he prepared him. Hyunsuk moaned and pushed back on the added finger to the first one once he felt his digits curl inside him, touching something deep inside. He slowly opened him up.

“Jihoon-ah.. I won’t last...” He huffed, feeling his legs begin to tremble and give. Jihoon stopped touching him and held him up by the waist as another finger pushed in after a few more plunges inside him.

“Feeling good Sukkie hyung?” His voice sounding like sugary syrup, so sweet considering he wasn’t giving moral support but preparing to fuck him.

“I think I’m ready, right?”  He wanted something deeper. The feeling of something inside was nothing he ever expected, and he never knew the feeling could be addictive. Something that was scary to him before was now something so satisfying. He heard the rustling of fabric when Jihoon shifted around. Hyunsuk was pried from the pillow and pulled onto his side as Jihoon moved to spoon him. He lifted one of his legs, holding him steady and opening him up as he felt something slick and blunt slowly trying to push into him. The artist tried relaxing from the intrusion, but the stretch burned a little. 

A whine left his throat when he couldn’t hold back anymore. “Does it hurt?” Jihoon asked, concerned against the shell of his ear. His arm slipped under his body and wrapped around his waist to pull him flush against him.

“It’s …” He gasped as Jihoon pushed more. “Just really full...”  He felt a sharp spike of pleasure as he pushed all the way in. Hyunsuk’s eyes flew open as he covered his own mouth with his hand to muffle the most carnal noise he’d ever produced.

Jihoon’s soft, breathy laugh by his ear made his heart in his chest feel like a blooming flower. Dense and expanding. Hyunsuk removed his hand from his mouth. “I’m sorry.., just something happened..” He didn’t know what he was saying.

The sweet kisses on the nape of his neck only briefly distracted him from Jihoon pulling back, leveraging himself to snap smoothly into him again.

“What? Feels good, hyung?” His breathy voice was making him go crazy.

His moans began to become more frequent the more Jihoon moved in and out. Hyunsuk suppressed a pathetic whimper finding it harder to maintain any sort of control as he let go of the sheet under them to reach behind to tangle his fingers in Jihoons hair as his hips began to snap faster his lips kissing and sucking at his shoulder. He slowed down, moving languidly as Hyunsuk mewled and panted.

“Perfect,.. Shit hyung you feel really good ..” In a dizzying movement, he felt Jihoon remove himself and move so he was on top and squeezing him and embracing him. Hyunsuk, spurred by the infectious, pretty smile on Jihoon’s sweaty face as he wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck and his legs around his waist. The penetration making him throw his head back sucking in air. The actor's name punched out of him.

Each moan was eagerly answered back by Jihoon's very own moaning. Hyunsuk begging him not to stop. He didn’t.  He dug his nails into his back, reeling and delirious as a change in pace and angle made him grunt with each thrust. Pleasure exploded behind his eyes as Jihoon’s playful grin displayed how pleased he was as their eyes locked.

Hyunsuk was caught off guard by the intense orgasm that was ripped from him. The intensity of it pulsed through him, coating his torso with his own seed. He felt the twitch of Jihoon inside him from watching him cum.

“Hyung,.. Don’t  even think about letting go..!” How thrilled Jihoon sounded, it confused him until he felt Jihoon grip him tightly again. He didn’t bother giving time for him to rest as he continued pistoning his hips, making his back arch from being so sensitive, and Jihoon being relentless. Spurred on by his voice and the sound of their clashing bodies..

The perfect test to see his refractory period took. His blunt nails scratched the actors back as his fucking got harder. Hyunsuk sounded hoarse as he whined out Jihoon's name his cock hardening and bobbing between them aroused again. Jihoon was so wild and in shape while Hyunsuk felt closer to passing out than cumming. Everything felt so good, but the vigorous pace made him more lucid. 

His strength was shocking and sexy at the same time, as he told him to hold on tight again as he lifted him up into his lap, now sitting as he squeezed Hyunsuk’s hip to slow down and guide his movements. The new position making it so he was so deep in his guts that he wouldn't be surprised if Jihoon managed to rearrange something, his prostate getting the brunt of everything as he tried to open his eyes to find Jihoon’s lips to kiss him, but the more he fucked him the more bleary his vision got. Hot tears running down, only becoming aware of it when Jihoon’s tongue licked an escaping tear that rolled down his chin. He felt so hard and the only warning he got that Jihoon was cumming was his grunting, ‘Sukkie hyung!’ against his cheek and freezing deep inside loading the condom he was wearing with his seed.

After a sigh and a sharp intake of air, Jihoon laid Hyunsuk down, pulling out and using his fist to stroke and finish him off, while teasing and biting his nipples, eyes still looking up to focus on his face through his second climax.

Hyunsuk didn’t remember much of anything after just that he felt different as he lay sprawled in that hotel bedroom trying to catch is breath as his body was cleaned off. He peeked his eyes open, feeling shy again, and he saw how Jihoon smiled at him. Hyunsuk didn’t think as he took his face in both his hands, just touching to see if that just really happening. Jihoon pressed his lips to him.

His hands smoothed down his probably wild blonde hair as he left butterfly kisses along his cheekbones. “Hyung, stay the night..” He commanded in an airy way. Hyunsuk relaxed since he hoped the whole time that he didn’t have to leave. Not after that.  He melted into the downy pillow, lulled by sweet lips and a solid, warm body surrounding him. The last thought before he was overcome by sleep was how much he ached for Jihoon. His anxious heart was wrapped with yearning and worry at the same time.

Chapter Text

Hyunsuk hadn’t slept restfully in a long time. That was when he opened his eyes and realized that sunlight was filtering through the hotel window instead of pitch black darkness. He smiled and stretched, feeling like a person in a coffee commercial waking up so happily. All he needed was the spouse to greet him and kiss his cheek good morning while nursing a mug in his hands in an over-the-top, gleeful manner.

He froze in his stretching when he felt a presence in the doorway and realized two things. One, this wasn’t the hotel room where he started his trip in and his lower back felt so sore, and the reason for his soreness was loitering by the room entrance. Hyunsuk rubbed his eyes before flopping back into the comfortable, disheveled bed, blinking at Park Jihoon leaning against the doorway in his underwear and robe, squinting at him. Hyunsuk snorted at the bed hair Jihoon was rocking. He looked adorable, strangely enough.

“Good morning.” Jihoon greeted with a smile, his eyes still not fully open yet, as he crawled on top of him. It was a sort of magnetism that he had to the other man because Hyunsuk instantly wrapped his arms around his shoulders, sighing as he kissed his neck and jaw. “Jihoon?” He sighed.

“Hmm? You wanna go again?” The statement made him shiver.

“I’m sore…” Hyunsuk admitted, blushing. “And we need to talk.. It’s important.” Jihoon pulled back to look at him with pouty lips and a puzzled face that made him grin at him.

“What’s up?” Jihoon ran his fingers through Hyunsuk’s hair over and over, combing his fingers through it as he searched his face, thinking of how he was going to start the questions lying in his mind.

“Jihoon, we had sex last night…” He stated.

“We did. Did you not like it?” He tilted his head.

“It felt really good… Just… I’m just slightly confused, is the problem. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve never done anything like this before. Not with a man nor a woman. Just having sex with a friend without an established relationship.. I’ve only had one girlfriend so.. What is this exactly?”

Jihoon’s expression went from that of surprise to that of a genuine soft smile that Hyunsuk noticed he didn’t exactly show the public. There was always something guarded by the smiles he had when watching him in films or in interviews.

“What do you want it to be, hyung?”

Hyunsuk shrugged. Did it really matter what he wanted it to be? He wondered.

“Giselle… She-”

“She’s not in a relationship with me. It’s only for publicity.” Jihoon interrupted his stream of questioning right away as he closed his mouth, looking away, no longer able to hold the gaze Jihoon held him down with.

“Were you worried that you were being a homewrecker, hyung?” Jihoon laughed.

“Well.. yeah, actually I did.. It’s a horrible feeling. You find out that someone you loved with all your heart never loved you and is cheating.. Going behind your back....” He stopped his tangent. He couldn’t go there. Hyunsuk was feeling upset and worked up now that he thought about what Nuri did. Why now, when things were going right? He tried to move to get up, but Jihoon stopped him.

“Hey, wait.. What’s the matter?” Hyunsuk froze before sinking his head back into the pillow. He scoffed.

“You tell me so much about your life, Jihoon.. I’ve barely told you anything about me. There is just so much wrong… I just feel like this might all be a really bad idea.” He took Jihoon’s hand in his own, trying to get him to subtly understand. The actor looked caught off guard for a moment.

“...What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing like your status or anything, or like since you're extraordinary as a celebrity and I’m ordinary, just a person. Nothing like that……. I’m sick, Jihoon.” He laughed bitterly.

The nagging voice in his head was telling him to shut up and just enjoy a nice thing for once. Why was he digging himself his own grave to bury himself in when everything he could want to make and possibly keep him happy was right in front of him? 

He hated himself.

He looked down as he rubbed at the goosebumps forming on his arms.

“Hyung.. You're fine, okay?” Jihoon said firmly.

Hyunsuk wanted to tell him that he didn’t know anything at all and that he was going to regret it all, but he remained quiet.

“Have you ever been to California before? Or the United States at all? Wanna go to a tourist trap?” Jihoon quickly changed the subject, sitting up.

“I’ve only been to Georgia..”

Jihoon made a perplexed face. 

“I know it’s sort of random, but my mother’s step-brother runs a tech company in the state.. so that’s where we would visit him every summer in Atlanta…and we would all go to Disney World in Florida… Other than that, this is my first time. All of this is my first time… She used to come here all the time, though… Sorry, I’m not saying much of anything, am I?”

Jihoon’s lip quirked up before caressing his face, leaning in to sweetly kiss him. “Tell me more.” He released a shuddering breath.

“Jihoon-ah..”

Hyunsuk rubbed his own face, feeling embarrassed. Jihoon just laughed softly. “Well, I would love to walk down Rodeo or, maybe some shopping, but shopping might not be the best thing right now….” His shopping might show his bad habits.

“We can go shopping… Just- we can’t leave together. I’ll have to meet you later.” He got up, removing the robe. Hyunsuk absorbed everything he saw by staring. Jihoon’s body was perfect. His arms were so thick with muscles. He could tell the actor really worked hard for everything.

“Okay..” Hyunsuk got up, trying not to feel too shy anymore since Jihoon had already seen the most intimate parts of him already. The sore ache in his lower back wasn’t anything severe, and he was steady on his feet. He almost jumped when he felt Jihoon’s hand on his back. His fingers were tracing him again. When Hyunsuk looked over his shoulder, he saw him still staring at the design. The actor must have really liked it.

“There’s plenty of extra essentials in my bathroom, so get ready, okay?” He ruffled his hair with a smile before turning to leave the room.

Even after everything, Jihoon was still a mystery.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Despite how they met up after getting ready to explore the city, feeling like a Mission Impossible scenario, he was excited. He had to unfortunately take a different ride to their breakfast spot. Hyunsuk arrived at the place first in West Hollywood, despite making a run to his hotel first to put on the clothing he brought with him. He felt most comfortable out at the restaurant’s patio, enjoying the nice weather finally being able to comfortably wear something sleeveless. He looked over the menu while he waited, which he didn’t have to do for long, as someone sat right across from him, with both a mask and sunglasses on. An expensive-looking punk avoiding hay fever.

“Did you order yet?” Jihoon cheerfully asked.

“Not yet. I wanted to wait for you…Since this was your date idea, right?” The way he could tell Jihoon was smiling so hard under his mask made him smile back. He was falling hard.

“That's nice of you, I’ve never been on a real date before, ya know?” Jihoon admitted. This caught him by surprise.

“What? I’ve seen you date several actresses and had flings .. wait..”

“Nothing genuine. All set up by my agents or PR teams. This is a first.” He picked up a menu before quickly deciding on the first thing that caught his eye.

“This is a first time kind of for me too…. I haven’t been on a date since high school, and well, even then… I guess illegally driving without a license or trying to sneak into clubs and bars isn’t exactly a date, right?” Hyunsuk shrugged.

“Woah! Wow! A bad boy?!” Jihoon clapped and laughed. 

“Not really, my friends were the bad boys while I got dragged along a lot and then was either the designated driver or getaway driver.” He sighed. “But this sort of grown-up date. I feel like an adult, yeah.” 

Jihoon stretched his legs out under the table, brushing against him.

“Yeah, you feel like a big boy now?” Jihoon teased. Images of what they did the night before flashed through his mind as he cleared his throat and took off his sunglasses to fold them into his shirt. Jihoon just watched amused.

“Stop it..” He laughed. It didn’t take much for the man to get him feeling hot. The actor’s aggressive flirting and attention to just him made him feel so desired. He knew it was kind of sappy and not exactly macho to admit, but just that alone made him feel something deeper, richer.

Hyunsuk felt that connection when they were intimate, like Jihoon’s soul was tugging at his, latching on and weaving. Forming some braided together bond, locked because now every time he looked at the man, it went beyond longing and yearning.

He felt so comfortable with Jihoon. Even as they sat and ate. The conversation flowed like they had known each other forever. Even with their plates empty, they sat there enjoying each other’s company and talking. Once they stood and decided to walk around, they bounced from one topic to another.

Jihoon grabbed his arm, fascinated by his tattoos, “I bet Asahi did this one.” He held his arm pointing to the crane.

“Kind of, he tattooed it, but the design is mine.”  He smiled, amused by how focused Jihoon looked as he studied his arm. He pointed to another tattoo now on his forearm, a microphone with watercolor work. “I got that a couple of years ago.. I was going through a phase…”

“What kind of phase?” Jihoon’s curious eyes were going to make him tackle him and kiss him if he didn’t quit.

“I thought I would work in music, join an underground indie crew, and become a singer or rapper. I wanted fame and admiration at one point. I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I didn’t think it through and.. I struggled way too much to really be that passionate about music. Now I fool around with sound engineering software sometimes when I’m bored.”

Jihoon looked shocked. “You look like you belong in a rap crew. That’s not that surprising to me, but fame? You’re so reserved now. Even though you say your teen days were wild, right now you’re so private.”

Hyunsuk never thought about it like that. With fame came an invasion of privacy. Jihoon was right in front of him. He should know, considering when he was fanboying over him, he stayed glued to social media to learn more and more about the actor, and the information on a daily basis was so readily available, too.

“What’s with that look?” Jihoon giggled, leaning in closer to get a better look at his face.

“I just feel a bit sorry about the privacy stuff. I used to read a lot of gossip.. Not the dating stuff or anything. I never really believe half of what any of that stuff is saying, but looking just to know about you..things relating to GT… I’m just impatient, I guess.”

Jihoon draped his arm around Hyunsuk’s shoulder. “You really love that movie so much. Do you know the whole script, hyung?”

“I probably do. I told you on opening weekend I saw the movie five times… and when the sequel comes out I’m gonna see it thirty times the first week for sure.”

Jihoon let out the loudest laugh from deep within. It made some strangers on the sidewalk they were strolling down turn to look at them.

“Amazing dedication hyung!”

After ice cream Jihoon did as promised and took him to a tourist trap, Madame Tussauds museum and he got a kick out of how freaked out by some of the wax figures Hyunsuk wanted to take photos with. Telling Jihoon to hurry up and take the photo like the wax figures were going to come alive and attack him.

The jetlag was starting to get the best of him, and Jihoon suggested they taxied their way back to his hotel to rest up before Hyunsuk’s flight. The tattoo artist’s heart soared at the fact that Jihoon didn’t want to take separate cars back. He still wanted to be with him. No paparazzi, no anything as they entered together. Maybe it was because of Jihoon’s really casual outfit and how much of his face was obscured, but he wasn’t bothered.

As soon as they entered the room, Hyunsuk didn’t bother going up the stairs to the bedroom. He curled up on the sectional in the sitting room. He slept so lightly that he could hear Jihoon shuffling about in different rooms until he came to him, and he felt the other man’s lips sweetly kiss his cheek before pulling his body flush against him in the corner of the sectional.

“Hmm?” Hyunsuk mumbled sleepily.

“Shh.. Stay asleep, I just want to hold you for a while.”

Hyunsuk couldn’t stay asleep after something like that was said to him. He slowly opened his eyes, looking down at the arm around his middle. He didn’t know if he felt warmer because of the actor's body heat or his previous words, but he never expected such romanticism and sweetness from another man. Especially a man who looked ready to go out into the streets and cause chaos in his steel-toed boots.

Hyunsuk knew it wasn’t smart to judge a book by its cover. People never expected him to be such a comic book and movie geek from his appearance, either. Also, he was really gentle.. He couldn’t see why Jihoon couldn’t be a sweet, affectionate guy to his lovers like how he treats him. 

He wanted to fully let his guard down and trust it. It was just hard for him. Jihoon never exactly made it clear. Was he just going to be Jihoon’s secret? Hyunsuk turned in his arms, and their eyes locked when he placed his hand softly on his chest.

“Are you not going to nap before you have to leave? Do you wanna sleep upstairs?” Jihoon’s eyes were so bright and so soft. Hyunsuk leaned in, initiating a kiss. Tender and slow. His tongue gently ran across the seam of his lips, and Jihoon squeezed his body, sighing as he separated his lips to let him inside. Plush and warm as the gentle slide of his tongue led the kiss. 

Hyunsuk pulled back with a shaky, uncertain breath. He wanted to repay the act for his care. For making him so comfortable and for helping him experience a lot of things that helped rebuild some of his confidence. For making him feel so wanted. Hyunsuk started kissing along Jihoon’s neck.

“Ha– hyung..”Jihoon moaned. He slid down to the floor between the actor’s legs, feeling his nerves bubble over as he nimbly unbuckled his jeans.

“Hyung, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He whispered. But he really wanted to. He didn’t fully understand the logistics of a blowjob but he fantasized so much about what it would be like to do so and the night before Jihoon gave him an experience he’d never forget.

Jihoon lifted his hips as he pulled down his trousers and underwear. He didn’t get a good look at him before, and he only really felt him inside since he was afraid to look last night. Hyunsuk was shocked. Jihoon wasn’t even fully hard, and he could see why, even in that moment, his lower half felt changed. He hesitated before taking him in his hand, leaning forward and looking up at the actor's face while he stroked him.

“Hyung.. Are you really?” He twitched in his palm, and he realized he still had his chunky rings on. He quickly took them off as they clattered on the ground as he stared at the pink tip, now looking enticing and intimidating at the same time. Hyunsuk glanced up at him before sticking out his tongue and giving an experimental lick. The actor gasped, so he continued to trace the sensitive head with his tongue, gauging if he was doing well by Jihoon’s reaction. Hyunsuk could see him squeeze his eyes closed, reaching blindly to run his fingers through his hair.

“Hah- woah.. “ His thighs trembled as he slowly took him in his mouth, pushing him as much as he could past his lips using his hand on the parts he couldn’t fit without choking. The actor grew completely solid, nudging the back of the roof of his mouth with every pulse of his heartbeat. He figured he had to do it like eating an ice cream bar or a popsicle. He was just guessing and taking it slow.

“Hyung…” Jihoon panted. “You’re torturing me..” Jihoon gripped his hair, trying not to tug. Hyunsuk didn’t mean to. He was just doing what he thought felt good. Hyunsuk started moving faster, trying to use his tongue in between. Running the appendage along the hottest part of him. The end of his barbell and his lip piercing created a sort of solid ribbing, making it harder for Jihoon not to thrust into his mouth. 

When he came up to the head and he swiped his tongue around it. Sitting up and gripping, and holding steady for control. Pushing into the back of his throat. 

Hyunsuk blinked his eyes open when he realized he didn’t gag. This excited him. The artist eased off before attempting it again. He met his knuckles to his lips. His other hand splayed along the hard muscles of his abdominals, feeling himself grow hard as well from Jihoon's breathy voice. 

He worked at him, the sound of his performing lewdly echoing around him, making him blush. Jihoon, without any warning besides a gasp, came trying to pull him off, but it was too late. The tugging of his hair made him shiver as he did pull off coughing after swallowing some of his cum the wrong way.

“I’m sorry, hyung. Just…Go spit it out.” He ignored the actor’s worried expression, swallowing the rest of the salty fluid, leaning forward, licking the remainder off as he softened.

“Sukkie hyung please..” He gasped, squirming. Hyunsuk smiled, resting his chin on his thigh. His lips tingling as he tucked him back in his underwear. 

Jihoon rolled his head back, calming down as he smoothed out Hyunsuk’s hair.

“You did that on purpose… So I’ll come running back to Seoul right before filming next week.” He complained. Hyunsuk picked up his rings and climbed back into the seat with Jihoon, who quickly pulled him to him, nuzzling him, making him laugh.

“That wasn’t my intention. I just.. I wanted to try it since you did it to me. You're just trying to make me feel good about it. You’ve probably gotten better..” He smiled.

“What do you mean? You’re the first.” 

His eyes stretched as he pulled Jihoon’s blushing face away from his neck. He chuckled at Hyunsuk’s expression.

“I’ve always been a giver. It’s okay because I never truly expected it or desired to, but what you did felt really good.” Hyunsuk averted his eyes.

“Ah-.. Maybe I should have asked if you were into that at first…” He rubbed at his eye, drawing his legs up.

He didn't know what to make of the quiet staring Jihoon did, even in that moment, like studying him.

“..Sorry, I guess I'm overthinking again like you told me not to do…” 

Jihoon looked at how he folded his legs up on the cushion. He loosened up and let himself relax. Hyunsuk tried to sit comfortably, normal and not like he was trying to hide his center. The actor looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t due to being interrupted by his phone. He made an apologetic face, slipping from behind him to stand, and answered the call. Zipping up his still-open fly, making Hyunsuk blush more. He left the room, trying to sound like a guy who didn't just receive oral sex on the phone.

Hyunsuk figured that was his cue to start looking for a rideshare to take him back to his hotel and pack. When Jihoon jogged back in the room, he glanced down at what he was doing.

“Sorry, my agent scheduled me for some brand thing tomorrow, so I had to take that call… Are you leaving already?”

“I- well, since my flight out is this evening… I think I should go pack.” He selected a car to get him.

“Oh.” He saw Jihoon sag a little. “Well, I’m glad we spent time together. I never really ever get time, so… We’ll do something like this.. I don’t know, maybe if I shoot some scenes somewhere else, it can be another trip. Don’t worry about anything when it comes to flights and whatnot in the future  Sukrangie.”  Hyunsuk gaped at him, confused by the barrage of words the actor had just said to him. Jihoon tried stifling his laughter at his expression.

“...So silly.” He laughed a little while looking down at the app to see how far the ride was. He hated leaving. He stood only to be blocked by the other man. 

“I’m serious, hyung. Let’s do this sort of thing again.” He tilted his head down and kissed his lips with sugary sweetness. Hyunsuk nodded, agreeing that they should. It wasn’t like he was going to refuse any future offers anyway. He was head over heels for the actor at that point, but couldn’t say it out loud. He was afraid to.

He quickly headed towards the door. Not looking back, even though his heart felt like a giant lead ball as he headed for the lobby.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Two days after his trip, he’d bounced back into his routine and back to just talking to Jihoon through SNS. He was back at work with Yoshi strolling in with snakebites in his lower lip.

“You finally did it?” He smiled at the other artist.

Yoshi shrugged. “Might as well have.. I needed a distraction from such a bad Saturday night. Followed your philosophy of when things go bad, get a piercing.” He sprawled himself on Hyunsuk’s hydraulic bed, facing him with the biggest pathetic eyes.

“I leave the country, and something’s happened? Well, what happened?” Hyunsuk put away his ink trays in the bottom drawer of his station before turning in his chair.

“Well, my date with that singer Kim Junkyu wasn’t a date, even though I thought it was. Plus, I had an allergic reaction to some expensive Chinese rice wine during the not-date and got rushed to the hospital.”

“What the fuck Yoshi?! Are you okay?!” Hyunsuk shot up instantly, touching his cheek and dotting on him.

“I’m fine hyung, I got it treated.. Still don’t know what I was allergic to. It wasn't rice or alcohol, so I’m going in for an allergy test next week..”

Hyunsuk let out a deep breath. “You’re so nonchalant about almost dying…”

“I didn’t die, hyung!” Yoshi laughed.

“Still… Well, is Kim Junkyu not what he seems? What exactly happened before you dropped dead?”

“I didn't-...” Yoshi sighed. He didn’t want to bother correcting his hyung. “Junkyu’s nice and all, we talked and laughed and .. I really like him, hyung, but when I said, ‘Wow, I never expected this date with you to go this great.’ He looked at me like I was a psycho killer and said, ‘Date?’”

Hyunsuk grimaced. “So.. he thinks you just wanted to hang out in a fancy Sichuan restaurant for the hell of it?”

“Seems like it. Wanted to repay me for getting him through the ear piercing and getting over his fears. Talking like I helped him through child labor or something… Rich people are weird hyung….I wasn’t sure if I should politely leave or scream, so I took a sip of that expensive mijiu to cover up my embarrassment….. Then I went into anaphylactic shock after sipping my drink.” Yoshi hyperbolically explained with bitterness.

Hyunsuk stroked his hair, trying to make Yoshi feel better. “I’m sorry, bro.. Hey, maybe I can talk to Jihoon and-”

“Don’t hyung.. It’s okay.” Yoshi sighed before sitting up. “I have some new traditional designs I need to hang up..” He said before lazily getting up and heading to his station. Even his back looked sad.

Yoshi’s bad date weighed on his mind even days later, after he mopped around the parlor. Later in the week, when he went home to design some more tattoos for clients at his computer, he decided to look a bit into Kim Junkyu. He watched a couple of his music videos, and he realized he liked his R&B-type sound a lot. He was talented, but not much other than musically was known about the man. He wasn’t like Jihoon, who marched to be beat of his own drum and did whatever he wanted in front of the press.

He hadn’t talked to the actor in days, and the deep-seated ache for the man was starting to burn more and more. Jihoon only managed to message him things like “Morning Spicy Boy” or “Did you have a good day? Night Sexy Sukkie.” It was random, and it made him blush every time automatically.

Hyunsuk decided to initiate this time by messaging him.

‘Hey Jihoonie, my friend is sad.’

He got a message only minutes after his.

‘Is your friend sad or are you sad?’

Hyunsuk thought for a minute. He didn’t feel sad at all, just a little lonely. ‘I’m not sad, but I miss California.’

His phone began to ring. It was from Jihoon. He turned off Junkyu’s music and answered.

“Jihoon?”

“Do you miss California or me? Because I just landed back in Korea, and I can come see you right now.” Jihoon sounded out of breath like he was being quickly ushered through the airport.

“I- Of course I miss you.. But I wanted to talk about my friend for a minute.”

“I can come to see you. Tell me your address and I’ll find some time and we can talk about your ‘friend’ then.” His voice sounded flirty.

“No, you can’t come here.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to even look at the mess around him.

“... Why not?” 

The anxiety and the panic of trying to come up with an excuse were burning him from the inside out.

“You just can’t.. My home.. I just can’t, maybe we can meet up?” Hyunsuk looked down at his baggy, loose clothing he wore. Old and dingy. He wasn’t expecting to go anywhere since he planned on working on designs all day, but he missed the actor. “I wanna see you, Jihoon-ah.” He said softly.

“...Okay.. well this isn’t going to work today and a hotel is out of the question since my professional stalkers would for sure figure out I went to a hotel… I would say my place too.. Maybe we can meet at my place tomorrow, okay, Sukkie?” Jihoon sounded disappointed. He could tell, but there was no way he was going to let him see his home. Never. As if he were in his mind, Jihoon spoke up again.

“You’re suddenly so quiet.. What’s so bad about your neighborhood? You live near Jogno, right? The neighborhoods are nice around there..”

Jihoon was correct, he lived in Jahamun-ro, not too far away, but how would he explain the state of his home without Jihoon thinking he’s a freak he has to cut ties with.

“It’s.. Just bad.” He felt like he was slowly losing his ability to be coherent.

“ Hmm, alright then. We can have dinner tomorrow too. I’ll make you something.” Jihoon said cheerfully.

“Alright, that’s nice of you, Jihoon.”

“See you tomorrow.”

After he hung up, the anxiety once again stayed. He still had to finish his client’s design, so Hyunsuk worked for two more hours, then got up to push past all his things and go get fresh air. In the process of overthinking and not feeling worthy enough for Jihoon's attention as he occupied his own head, he went into the first store he saw.

When he looked up, he realized it was a store for framed prints. He quickly began to look at several pieces like a man possessed. A couple of paintings, some hand-painted and framed. Even a framed puzzle set, as he looked through his findings, not even checking the prices of anything in his arms. The clerk just smiled, happy that she was getting this sort of sudden business, and he brought everything to her counter. 

The ‘what if’ thoughts slammed into his brain as he stood there, not paying attention to the rising number on the clerk's screen. What if things don’t work out with him and Jihoon? What if the public finds out about their relationship, and it becomes his fault? What exactly was their relationship really? Is he even a worthwhile person to risk sneaking into his home? Just for sex? Did Jihoon genuinely like him, or was he telling him things he wanted to hear? What if Jihoon finds out he’s a hoarder and drops him?

At least he will have lovely art to design his home with if he cleaned up one day… These thoughts over and over. The compulsion to go get more in case something happened to the first couple of pieces. Hyunsuk almost did and realized he would have to carry everything.

By the time he made it home, he felt like crying. He had nowhere really to put any of the artwork. He tried moving some things around, but he felt so claustrophobic again. He just tossed them still in the bag in a corner before storming out of the apartment, heading for the nearest convenience store. He wanted to buy some cigarettes. The tattoo artist froze at the door, calming down his panting, remembering that he had quit. He couldn’t get more. He wouldn’t allow himself to. Hyunsuk walked back and forth outside the store, debating it with himself.

“Oppa?” He looked up to see the last person he ever wanted to see. He instantly turned and walked away. She ran up to him to grab his arm and stop him from leaving.

“Oppa, I know you hate me, and I said I’m sorry a million times, but I can help you. Your home-”

He snatched his arm away, not talking or acknowledging her. He left Daegu to escape her, and here she was, probably moved in to try to force him to forgive her and move back. 

“Oppa, what you are doing isn’t okay, all of those things.. You’re gonna be buried one day under all that stuff, and I don’t want to see that happen to you. I still love you.”

 He quickly interrupted her from saying more, “I’m seeing someone right now. I’ve moved on. Go back. I thought you moved on, too.” He never stopped walking, even as she did. He didn’t care.

“Does your new girlfriend know that you hoard shit like some sort of vermin, huh? Does she know how fucked up your mind is?! I’m trying to find you help! She’s not going to help you, I know it! Does she even know you?!”

He wasn’t surprised by her suddenly turning jealous and angry, saying her true thoughts. She was like this before he blocked her. He kept walking, his hands in his pockets.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk wasn’t fairing well after his previously stressful day. After receiving elaborate instructions from Jihoon on how to access the back alleyway to his home, he almost gave up finding which back garage was his. He walked a ways until he saw caution cones around the outside of one of the large homes and some men repairing the road. The smell from the machinery smelled of burning oil, along with something that smelled like burning hair and plastic. Hyunsuk froze as the smell grew stronger the closer he got. He felt so hot suddenly and suppressed his tears from forming as he pressed against the brick wall behind him, feeling a panic course through his body. One of the garages opened, and the prickly feeling all over became unbearable, along with his breathing getting heavier, the stronger the smell trapped itself in his nose.

“Sukkie hyung?” He squeezed his eyes shut as he shook his head. He was hoisted up and guided into the open garage. Once the door was closed and the scent from before muted by the scent of cherries, he tried to calm his breathing, trying to pull away from whoever was trying to hold him. He slowly began to realize it was Jihoon.

“Hyung, you’re okay, hey.”

He felt like he might throw up. He just closed his eyes and stayed pressed against the cool wall of the garage. Haunted by memories he thought he pushed down hard enough, but the smell of burning always did that.

During winter, while working in the parlor, a maintenance man came to change the air filter and clean the dust in the ducts. He tested the heater, and the smell of burning dust sent him into a panic attack that freaked Yoshi and Haruto out. He hated being caught off guard. This was one of those situations.

 After a couple of minutes, Hyusuk stood on wobbly legs.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked, cupping his cheeks in his hands, not sure what to do next, written all over his face. Hyunsuk was so embarrassed.  He shuddered, trying his hardest not to cry. Jihoon led him into the main part of his home, away from the garage doors and the smells.

Sitting there with Jihoon beside him with a pack of Buldak almonds in his hands, just massaging the bag in his lap, Hyunsuk felt awful. Jihoon didn’t press him to talk, just sitting there looking at him. Hyunsuk shook his head.

“I fucked up tonight. I’m sorry, Jihoon, I wanted to see you, but maybe I should go. I know you wanted to fuck and I killed the mood. You’re probably grossed out.’

Jihoon frowned. “You just think I wanted sex? I wanted to see you, hyung. I missed you.”

A scowl formed on Hyunsuk’s face. “Really, because this all started out superficially. Be honest with me.” he was lashing out again. He didn't mean to but he wanted to push Jihoon away before things got too complicated. It was his usual tool.

The actor shook his head but didn’t say anything further. 

“I've got to go.. Let me leave.”

Jihoon grabbed his hand but loosened up, realizing he might have been too forceful in his panic about Hyunsuk getting up.

“Hyung, .. I promise you it’s not like that at all. Nothing is ruined, and you think way too much. I want you to trust me.”

Hyunsuk sank back down, Jihoon pulling him into an embrace.

“You’re gonna want to know what my problem is Jihoon-ah, and when you do, you’re going to want to drop me…”

He remembered Nuri’s words.

“You don’t know that hyung. You assume way too much of me. You don’t ever have to tell me if you don’t want to, and if you do, I’m not that sort of person. Everyone has skeletons in their closet.”

Hyunsuk just closed his eyes, inhaling his scent, burying his face in Jihoon’s shoulder as the numbness began to wash over him. Being comforted felt out of body. He wasn’t used to it. He looked up at Jihoon. 

“You’ll hate me.” He whispered.

“I bet I won’t.”

Hyunsuk swallowed the lump in his throat before feeling his eyes well up, his vision blurring.

“I killed somebody.”

Chapter Text

It was supposed to be him trying his best to be helpful.

Ever since she started working her new job and left for long hours, he missed her. He missed his mother. Hyunsuk didn’t exactly remember how it happened or exactly when, but he couldn’t have been more than five or six. He had just started school. Every evening, his mother would come home, still dressed in her office clothing and heels, and cook him something, smiling, calling him her precious baby.

She got frustrated with him for not being the nicest in school sometimes.. He bit another kid who tried to take a soccer ball from him. She would scold him, but hug him and tell him he should use his words to express his feelings and not hurt others.

She was like an angel in his eyes. That’s why, before she came home, he wanted to cook too, like she did for him. 

Hyunsuk didn’t remember what he’d tried to make. It was either pajeon or mandu, but it was something that required oil and the stovetop like he’d seen his mother do plenty of times. He started, but decided to go play with Legos instead.

Flames spread fast, and by the time he realized something was wrong, it was too late. He saw firefighters on television use hoses with water before. He had nothing like that, so he ran scared, hiding under his bed. The alarm in the building was so loud and terrifying. He couldn’t breathe after some time. Hyunsuk was barely conscious when he could hear his mother screaming for him and his body being lifted.

He didn’t understand death at all.

Every time he asked about his mother when he was being treated for the burns on the soles of his feet, he was met with either stares or watery smiles before they quickly asked if he wanted something sweet like crème bread. He hadn’t been told of his mother’s death until he was taken home by his aunt, who kept her distance.

She’d take him to school and drop him off, not wanting to spend too much time on him. Her sobbing and screaming at his mother’s funeral is when that familiar empty feeling started. Hyunsuk didn’t cry, just wondering if there was a magic potion he could take to go back in time and not do what he did. Suppose there was a fairy or genie, and if he prayed hard enough, things would be fixed. He wished every night. Until one evening after school, his aunt packed a suitcase for him and carried him to a place where he sat and played with Legos for what felt like hours at a table.

A woman and a man with warm smiles greeted him, and he went home with them. Hyunsuk stayed with them, never seeing the auntie again. They raised him, but mostly this new soft-spoken sweet woman was someone he began to call mother, and as years went on, he slowly forgot what his first mother even looked like. This woman was now his eomma.

His constant string of bad behavior after he got older was because he never felt he belonged. That Hyunsuk felt guilty of a crime, so he acted as he felt. Cars are fast and fun, and easy to take. He didn’t care they were being recorded every time they did so, they just wanted to see how fast the thing could go, until one night he was in the back seat. His friends were whooping and laughing. His best middle school friend, Shin Gyu behind the wheel, exploring how far and fast he could push the C-Class four-door to go. All Hyunsuk thought before the car crashed into another and rolled was that they were going to die.

Shin Gyu didn’t make it. The other driver was in critical condition, and he remembered funerals. The wailing. The pain. He was a contributor to that when he didn’t say no to the joyride. The other driver survived, though, but when they were wheelchair-bound and the courts made him and his friends face them, they did not forgive him. He didn’t attend Shin Gyu’s memorial.
His mother began to be more distant, and he didn’t bother to come home to his precious eomma anymore. He got his first paycheck peeling shrimp for a restaurant, and that’s when the buying began.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk couldn’t take the silence from Jihoon after elaborating. The actor begged him to tell him exactly what he meant when he said he killed someone. He saw the brief fear in his eyes when he said it, but clarifying made him feel worse. Hyunsuk didn’t care how many people told him it really wasn’t his fault and that he was a kid. It really was his fault to him.

Someone died. His own mother died because of him. The mother he was lucky enough to take him afterward was a little guarded because she knew what happened to his biological mother, and even though she loved him and was sweet, there still was an arm's length of distance because she knew his history of being impulsive. He didn’t come from her, even though she tried to treat him otherwise.

His spiral into bad behavior as a teen, from stealing things, sometimes compulsively, or going on joy rides in cars his friends would hotwire, nearly killing him and whoever was in the car. Someone else did die. Only getting a slap on the wrist as a juvenile and then diving into vices to ease the pain by filling his life with something that made him feel something, anything, did nothing for him but worry his mother more, so he moved out fast, started working fast, and tried moving on fast.

“Hyung… What happened... that wasn’t your fault. You were a child.” Jihoon’s words were muffled by his hair as he held him tighter, burying his face in his thick, bleach blonde hair.

“I knew you were going to say that…” It’s exactly what his aunt said before giving him up for adoption. She said it wasn’t his fault, but she couldn’t stand to look at him. He killed her sister.

“Have you talked to anyone at all about this?”

“No, I haven’t… What am I supposed to do? Admit I was a bad son, a bad child, and some shrink is supposed to cure me?” He sniffled, frustrated.

“I don’t think it will happen like that, but talking helps hyung.. Trust me, I saw a lot of things I shouldn't have growing up…” Jihoon suddenly went quiet. Hyunsuk didn’t know what that implied, but he didn’t press him like the actor didn’t press either. He voluntarily told him everything. He’d give Jihoon the same grace.

“Talking to someone helps.”

The faint sound of construction outside stopped. They seemed to be finished for the night. Hyunsuk didn’t move to get up, just lying limply in Jihoon’s arms.

“You’re not hungry, hyung? You want to eat and stay the night? I have things to shoot for the sequel tomorrow, but you can stay here if you want. You don’t have to go back and be alone. Is the parlor going to be open tomorrow?”

Hyunsuk shook his head. He didn’t want to stick around, and he wasn’t hungry. He didn’t understand Jihoon at all. He seemed so okay about him. Even offering him to stay. Offering to feed him. Not at all disgusted. He was the only person he’d ever told anything to. Would finding out about his hoarding be the final straw, he pondered?

He pulled away from Jihoon. “The restroom?” He mumbled.

“It’s down the hall.. On your left.”

Hyunsuk hurried. Wanting to escape the affection wasn’t rational at all, and he knew it, but nothing he ever did made sense to him. He looked at the small window, wondering how angry Jihoon would be if he left. Would that be it? He turned to the sink, not bothering to look at himself in the mirror as he splashed water on his face.

When Hyunsuk came back into the room, Jihoon smiled at him. It hadn’t changed at all. He still looked at him like he was the best person in the world. Hyunsuk both loved it and couldn’t stand it.

“I was thinking about Madagascar.” Jihoon said, completely catching him off guard again in his very ‘Jihoon’ fashion of stream of thought. When he sat down beside the actor, he pulled him back by draping his arm around his shoulder coolly.

“Why?” Hyunsuk, still feeling a bit stressed, tugged at the loose strings of his jeans on the shredded holes at his knees.

“I want to take you there. Remember you said you would come with me on my next trip?”

“Only couples with no kids travel that much together, Hoonie..”  Hyunsuk felt less tense since Jihoon eased his way into a conversation like they always had.

“We’re a couple with no kids.” Jihoon shrugged. Hyunsuk flinched and looked up at his face. The actor’s face looked confused by his reaction.

“..Couple?”

“Hmm? Yeah? You’re mine.” He said simply while playing with Cuban links around Hyunsuk’s neck. He blushed.

“It’s not a friends with benefits thing?”

“I thought I made myself clear in California, Sukkie hyung. Do you want me to spell it out?”

Hyunsuk released a shaky breath. 

“Sukkie?”

“Just promise me.. I know in your job you kiss people, a-and it's for movies, but promise me Jihoon.. Don’t cheat… I don’t think I could take that. Just if you get tired of me or don’t like me anymore, just…” Hyunsuk drifted off. The past two days had been so exhausting emotionally for him. He’d fought off his tears long enough. They began to fall. Hyunsuk quickly wiped them away angrily. 

Jihoon stopped him by pulling him closer again.

“You don’t have to worry about something silly like that,” Jihoon whispered.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk was woken up by his stomach protesting that it needed something, anything, as he rolled over in the heavenly fluffy comforter. When he tried to stretch and turn over, he realized he was being hugged at his side. Jihoon was latched on and did not let go.

“Mmm? Sukkie..?” Jihoon’s voice raspy first thing in the morning.

“Yeah?” Hyunsuk managed to stretch with Jihoon, loosening up his arms. He sat up, looking down as Jihoon half under the covers and half way twisting up outside the comforter. He must have slept wildly, but Hyunsuk had been so tired he probably didn’t feel it at all during the night.

“I’ll make you something to eat.. I felt your stomach growl.”

“..Mm Okay…” Hyunsuk felt Jihoon roll away from him, shuffling as he left the room. Hyunsuk figured he should wash up and then go find Jioon in the kitchen after lying around like a sunbasking cat or lizard. Enjoying the rising sun’s heat shining directly on his bare back. 

Afterward, he didn’t bother making it down right away since he wandered down the hall to a display case full of trophies. Several actor awards and some more. Even some of his high school stuff. He had trophies for Jujutsu and Muay Thai. There was a glass trophy that looked broken at the top for Hapkido. Hyunsuk felt drawn to it, wanting to know the story behind it.

Jihoon greeted him with a smile when he came down the hall, as he looked like he was grilling fish and loading a piece of toast with an omelet and condiments. When he was done, he placed everything in front of him, grinning excitedly for him to eat his cooking. He didn’t hesitate to eat the meal right away, savoring it. Jihoon wasn’t bad at cooking at all. He really was perfect in Hyunsuk’s eyes.

“Why aren't you eating?” He asked the actor.

“I’m fasting.” He tilted his head. Hyunsuk frowned. He read about the extreme diets Jihoon would do to land roles. He’s mentioned it in interviews before. He always looked tired when he talked about it.

“Then you shouldn’t have cooked me anything. Isn’t it torture smelling food while fasting, Hoonie?”

“I don’t care since I’m taking care of my beautiful prince.” Jihoon flirted, coming over to kiss the top of his head before leaving to get ready. Hyunsuk froze in his chewing.  He blinked, unsure. Jihoon was entirely way too nice to him despite only bringing the actor drama and his turbulent instability. He felt bad.

Jihoon went to shower and got ready for work. Back to the real world. He mentioned his plan the night before they went to sleep that he would leave a couple of hours after him, since the media only tailed Jihoon when he was out and never stuck around his home watching. That way, he could leave.

Hyunsuk guessed this was his life now, to be with Jihoon. Sneaking around to avoid rumors or him being perceived until he was ready to be. It wasn’t new that Jihoon liked men. The Korean public was sort of indifferent, treating it like attention-seeking on Jihoon's part. While the rest of the world had mixed reactions. He guessed that being bisexual instead of gay made the difference to the extremely judgmental public. They probably treated it like the rest of his scandalous behavior, like during an American interview, joking that he had sex with a female actress in the dressing room before the interview, with his neck covered in hickies marks.

 Hyunsuk washed the dishes for Jihoon, feeling grateful. He looked around the beautiful decor that showed the actor's personality well with the burgundy and dark cabinets. He just felt bad because he could have nice things and keep his home in order himself if he managed to get his shopping under control.

Jihoon eventually came down the hall behind him and turned him around and pinned him between his body and the counter, taking him by surprise.

“I gotta go.” He kissed him sweetly before leaving a gentle peck on his head, too. He left him there, melted as Jihoon got a bottle of water before leaving him. He heard the door click closed throughout the large space. Hyunsuk waited a moment to calm down his galloping heart to call Asahi. After a few rings, it picked up.

“Are you okay, hyung?”

Hyunsuk wrinkled his eyebrows, not understanding why he answered the phone like that. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your friend from Daegu came by yesterday to my place looking for you to sign something, saying you agreed to do three weeks of rehabilitation at the RV Institute in Gangneung-si? It didn’t sound right at all, hyung.”

Nuri was trying to take control of his life after he told her to leave him alone.

“Sahi, if she ever comes by again, don’t answer, she’s the ex-girlfriend I told you about…”

“Ah.. I see.” He sighed on the other line.

“Yeah, … Well, I never agreed to anything. Especially not from her. I need a favor, though, Sahi-ya.” Hyunsuk glanced over at some of Jihoon’s photos he had with other celebrities framed in various spots.

“What is it hyung?”

“I stayed the night at Jihoon’s house… I need someone to pick me up.”

He heard snickering on the line, making him blush.

“We .. I just slept over.”

“Yeah?” He could hear the smile behind Asahi’s voice.

“Yes, I just slept.. It’s been a rough night, and Nuri hunting me down isn’t helping anything… I just need a ride home.”

“I’ve got you, hyung, just give me fifteen minutes.” He could hear the door to the parlor jingle as Asahi stood. He wondered why he was there on his day off, but didn’t ask.

When they hung up, he waited patiently for his message that he arrived in the alley, and he came down to the side garden door and out the back past the garage into the back alley. He could kind of still smell the construction from the day before, but the workers were looking like they were packing up for lunch. He felt anxious but quickly got into Asahi's car, taking a deep breath.

“Hyung, are you okay?” He asked, backing out while Hyunsuk put on his seatbelt.

“Yeah, I'm fine now.. Sahi, why were you at work on your day off?” He tilted his head, asking the other artist. He saw the Japanese man chew at his bottom lip before answering.

“I was giving a tattoo... Jaehyuk.”

“Ah.. He got a tattoo.. I see his first one?”

Asahi nodded. “He wanted to see me before he left for Beijing…”

“....Are you okay, Sahi?” Hyunsuk could tell he wasn’t fine, but Asahi wasn’t going to show him that.

“He’s made his choice… Who am I to get in the way of his future, and who knows, he might discover something big… Bioengineering is something he worked hard for.”

“So you two are officially over… Okay. “

Asahi just nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. He didn’t know why Asahi just didn’t go with him, but he’d told him before he wasn’t going to uproot his life along with isolating his clients again, like when he moved from Osaka. It had been a long-standing argument between the two that he had opportunities in South Korea, but Jaehyuk decided on Beijing. It was sad because Hyunsuk liked Jaehyuk a lot. He was his friend, too. Asahi clearly still loved the man.

When they arrived at his apartment building, he saw the stairs occupied by several men with clipboards and Nuri coming down, talking to the building manager. Hyunsuk hopped out of the car, fast approaching her.

“What are you doing? Why are you here?” Her eyes widened, shocked to see him.

“Where have you been?” She snapped back.

“That's none of your business, and who are these guys?”

“Choi Hyunsuk-ssi, this is a warning from management. All those things in your apartment need to be cleaned up within three weeks, or we will have to formally evict you.” The man handed him a sheet of paper and another pink slip.

He glanced at the man, then at Nuri. “You went and told on me to get me kicked out of my home?!” His voice was sharp and angry as he moved in closer.

“I’m saving your life. You need to come back to where you belong, figure this out. Come on oppa.” She tried to loop her arms around his neck. He didn’t give her enough time to commit to doing so since he pulled her arms off him and stepped back. Asahi quickly followed behind him as he stormed up the stairs.

Two other people he recognized from the housing office were looking into his apartment. Some of the neighbors noisily watched from their doors. He could feel the blood pumping in his heart, making his eardrums pulse as he began to panic. His breathing became erratic as he pushed the people out of the way and pushed into the room. Over and over, thinking they took something. That something was missing. They came inside and they took something out without him there. 

He had to make sure his Gun Tower figures were still there. Then his soccer uniform from high school, then his photo albums. His vinyls. Kitchen plates. Frantically checking everything. Every corner.

“Oppa.. Oppa!” 

He didn’t stop looking. Checking his clothing, noticing that they moved some of the clothing on his bowing closet bar.

“Hyung…” Asahi approached cautiously. Touching his shoulder, making him flinch. 

“They took something..” His voice wavered.

“No one took anything oppa! Stop!” He whipped around at her, his eyes furious. “Get out now!”

She hesitated, but before she turned to leave, she spoke, “This was for your own good, you know.” He lifted a hanger like he wanted to throw it at her, but she left before he could. It was quiet. He sat there on his knees, waist deep in clothing, his mind reeling.

“Hyung.. I didn’t know it was this bad.”

Hyunsuk looked up at Asahi. No one had ever come inside. The other man, who was normally stoic, looked frightened.

“I don’t think they took anything hyung, they can’t.. But I think they might have come in to inspect and leave you that notice… What now?”

He didn’t know what to do next. Hyunsuk guessed he would have to gut the place out somehow, or he would get kicked out.

“Sahi? Can you take me to the parlor.. Please.” His voice was small. Too afraid that if he spoke more, he’d really break down. Asahi helped him up, and they both left. Leaving the mess the way it was.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk looked up from tattooing a couple’s lightsaber on the side of a client's finger. Her spouse was sitting in a chair nearby, smiling happily about his matching tattoo that was finished. The door jingled as a head peeked in. The couple didn’t see, but it was Jihoon with his face covered in a ski mask like he was ready to rob the place. His eyes widened.

Jihoon pointed to the back door and hurried to it, leaving the door cracked. He finished up the tattoo and gave the aftercare, telling the couple they may need to come back for touching it up since the tattoo on their hands tended to fade faster. He was a great businessman and boss first before rushing to the back door.

Jihoon sat with the mask off, scrolling through his phone messages while sitting in the metal chair.

“Jihoon?” He said softly to get his attention. The actor smiled up at him. 

“Hey Hyunie,” He said cutely. The actor didn’t have a clue how the last two weeks had been for him. His impulses had been out of control, and he managed to fit a dirt bike in his apartment when he was supposed to be clearing it out. On the verge of being kicked out. He missed seeing Jihoon’s face up close. Hyunsuk leaned down and right away planted his lips on the actor's, taking him by surprise as their lips moved together, molding together as the air between them was soft and delicate. Nothing hastey, just everything being poured into a gentle kiss.

Hyunsuk pulled away shyly.

“Why haven’t you been answering my messages, hyung? Did something happen?”

He debated on telling the truth. It took a week to decide what to say to Jihoon.

“I want you to see my home..” Hyunsuk crossed his arms and tucked his hand to feel soothed while revealing one of the unrevealed secrets he kept from his lover.

“Your home? You want me over finally?!” Jihoon lit up but quickly became worried by Hyunsuk’s expression. He wasn’t happy about it.

“Is something wrong?” Jihoon asked.

“I have to show you something.. It will determine if you want to continue this.” Hyunsuk pointed between the two of them, back and forth.

Jihoon’s eyes looked big and round. His expression was that of someone trying to solve a difficult equation, “Okay, well, …. we can go when you’re ready.”

The tattoo artist just nodded, not looking Jihoon in the eyes. He peeked his head in to yell to Haruto that he had to take care of something and would be back. They stepped over the bushes once Jihoon covered his face again, hurrying to a different-looking car from what one they rode in together before.

They rode in silence after getting in. Jihoon could tell he was trembling as they got closer to his apartment building.

“Hey.” Jihoon took his hand in his own. Hyunsuk glanced down as he laced their fingers. 

The petrified feeling never went away, even as they got out and went up the stairs. They stood at the front door. Another warning slip on the front door threatening eviction.

“You wanted to know why I’m so private.. Why I bottle everything inside? Why I hold it in? All of it... I told you I’m sick and I don’t think anything will ever fix me..” Hyunsuk stood there for a moment, hand on the knob before putting in his door code and finally opening it up. He had to use his body to push the door open all the way to shove back some of the things blocking it. He looked up to gauge Jihoon’s face, even though half of it was obscured by a regular clinic mask instead of the ski mask from before. It was exactly how everyone looked when they first saw everything stacked to the ceiling with forming dust.

“I don’t know how to fix this..” Hyunsuk sucked in a breath to calm his nerves.

“.....You live in this hyung? …Can you even get in there?” Jihoon’s voice was terrified. A stronger reaction than what he’d seen from other people before. The way he looked like his skin was crawling as he took a step back at first. His eyes flickered around what little he could see from the doorway.

“I just squeeze around.. I don’t sleep here anymore, I can't, so I sleep at the parlor… I bathe at the jimjilbang down the street from the parlor and hand wash all my clothing behind the parlor…. or take it to the coin laundry at the Marriott on the corner when the night staff is there.” He explained his elaborate system just to live.

“Do you panic if someone tries to take stuff out or clean for you?” Jihoon peeked his head in but didn’t go inside. Gripping the doorway like he was afraid the room might suck him in. The question started to make him feel like he was being interrogated.

“Yeah.. I freak out every time, ..I told you I’m sick.” He frowned. Jihoon sighed and walked away. His expression was indecipherable. Hyunsuk’s heart sank. He knew this had to be the final straw. He saw the actor stop, then sit on the stairs, scratching the back of his head, stressed.

He’d never seen Jihoon be this torn and shaken. Hyunsuk approached him. “I get it. It’s way too much, so… I enjoyed our time together, Jihoon-ah.”

He turned and frowned. “Is this your way of breaking up with me?” Jihoon whispered.

“I thought you’re done with me.. right?”

“Done? Done with you like you’re a game or test? Hyung, I’m not ‘done’ with you. I don’t wanna break up with you... I’m just overwhelmed.. This.. all of this, you living like this, brings up some really bad memories for me, is all. That’s not your fault and… “ He paused, looking down at his shoes. 

“You just need to figure out how to get this under control…. okay?” The actor looked back at his apartment door before glancing at him.

“I just can’t go in there.. I hope you understand.”

It must have been one of the skeletons Jihoon mentioned to have in his closet. He stood up, taking his wrist. Guiding him down the stairs and back down the block to the car. Once in Jihoon was rapidly tapping at his phone, talking to someone. He told the driver to go back to the parlor. When the car stopped, Jihoon pulled down his mask and looked at him for a long time. Like he was trying to look inside him for some sort of answer for something.

“Hey..” Jihoon didn’t seem to care that the driver could see as he leaned in and softly left a kiss. “I know someone who can help.. I saw the slip. You only have a limited amount of time, but that’s okay… I’ll help. Don’t think for a moment that I’d dump you over something you can’t help. That’s cruel.”

Hyunsuk felt his heart stop and restart faster than when it was at his resting speed. He didn’t understand it all, and Jihoon was way different than what he thought. Every time, the man amazed him. Their relationship hadn’t been that long, but here he was wanting to help and protect him. He didn’t want to leave and forget him, so he would be someone else’s problem. It had always been that way for Hyunsuk, but Jihoon was the first person to ever be honest and not throw him away. Like he was worth the effort to be with. It all felt too good to be true. Hyunsuk got out of the car, reluctant to let go of Jihoon's hand.

Even as he continued his day feeling the weight off his shoulders, Jihoon left him with a hug and a kiss, he felt so unworthy of any sort of grace given. Work got his mind off things during the day. That evening, Jihoon messaged him.

‘Hyung, I thought of you all the rest of the day. I’m sorry I acted like that. I want to tell you a lot of things, but I don’t know where to start. You’re really brave for showing me and telling me everything. We’ll figure things out together, okay?’

Hyunsuk choked up like he’d been suddenly hit in his core, “Why is he like this? There’s no way..” Hyunsuk held his breath so he wouldn’t sob.

The other three glanced up from cleaning their stations, watching the shorter man stand there trying not to cry while reading his phone. “What’s the matter, hyung?” Haruto spoke up. He stood up, worried.

Hyunsuk shook his head. “Just, ..I think I’m in love.” He went from sniffling to letting out a soft laugh.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Liking someone was safe, easy. It was no big deal if things didn’t work out. It's just easy to fall into and out of liking someone. That’s really how it started with Jihoon, just his initial starstruck affection and attraction, and lust. It started like that, and it was like winning a lottery, catching the eye of one of the ‘it’ boy actors currently being described by Vanity Fair as a desired bachelor since he ended things cordially with Giselle. The magazines were funny to read now.

Love was a violent beast that couldn’t be tamed. Hyunsuk could barely wrangle liking someone, so there was no way he was safe to do so for love either. He tried being in love with Nuri, and the beast caused irreparable damage. It's why he wanted to deny his love for Jihoon, he tried with all his might to keep it caged. The actor proved over and over that he should be safe, that the beast was nothing more than a small soft house pet, but every time he went to unlock the cage, the beast snarled at him. Hyunsuk felt such an intense, unbridled ache for Jihoon in his heart.

Their pace was almost urgent as he wrapped his arms around Jihoon’s shoulders as he thrusted up into him, and Hyunsuk met every thrust, riding him. His hips were being held in a bruising grip. The artist's jacket dangled on his arm as his pants and underwear were wrapped around one ankle. Jihoon moaned against his neck, concentration knitted into his face as it was also hard for Hyunsuk to hold back his hitched moans. The actor slicked with lubricant he got out of the luxury commercial sprinter van to dig around in a bag in the back for before climbing back in and fucking him in the farthest back seat like it was the end of the world and this was their last and only go. Jihoon finds an angle to hit his prostate dead on, making him muffle his whimper by biting the collar of Jihoon’s jacket.

“Ha-.. You make me crazy hyung...” His voice tapered into a groan as he kissed and licked his throat. Then Jihoon’s frantic kiss to his lips turned into just their tongues when Hyunsuk let out wavering moan after wavering moan. He tried not to be so loud so that possible pedestrians on the sidewalks wouldn't hear them. Hoping that the van was big and heavy enough that it wouldn't rock or move with the force Jihoon was moving in him.

“Fuck-! Hoonie please–!!!” Hyunsuk cried out the more relentless he was. Jihoon chuckled when he slowed down his movement, stopping the other man from reaching down to try to touch himself by grabbing his wrist and bringing his fingers to his mouth, to suck his fingers.

Hyunsuk felt Jihoon throb and twitch inside him just from barely moving, let his fingers slip from his lips, his gaze was that of a meat-eater, a carnivore wanting to attack.

“Ah- Jihoon I wanna cum..!” He moaned, feeling like he was being teased.

“Then come for me hyung-.. Don’t touch yourself either.. Focus.” He nipped at his lips. His cock heavily inside him just pulsing right before supporting his back as he leaned him against the seat in front of them and pulled back his hips making him gasp.

“A-haa.. So big-!” He scrambled to hold on tightly. His words had an effect on the actor, who he felt twitch deep within him. He held on tightly as he started thrusting faster, never stopping as Jihoon pushed Hyunsuk over the edge, making him squeeze his hips with his legs as he came, crumpling as string after string of his seed released from him. The squeezing around Jihoon sent the actor over and off into bliss too, cumming deep into the condom with a moan and his shallow panting.

Hyunsuk pressed his cheek against Jihoon to catch his breath before pulling back to cup his face and kiss him like Jihoon would fade away if he didn’t.

The actor pulled back to breathe, smiling at Hyunsuk's expression.

“Sukkie hyung,.... what’s with that face?” He asked. The tattoo artist had no clue how he probably looked at that moment but all he knew was that he wanted to tell Jiihoon how much he loved him. He opted for just kissing him again, wrapping his arms and legs around him again.

“Jihoon-ah..”

Jihoon ran his hands up and down his back. “We were just supposed to be talking.. This was just supposed to be a briefing.. I couldn’t control myself hyung.” Hyunsuk could feel him smiling against his neck. “You looked really handsome and pretty at the same time today… and you smell really good.”

“You’re insane..” Hyunsuk sighed. He still wasn’t used to being complimented in that manner. He knew Jihoon really meant it with how he said everything he felt out loud most of the time. Hyunsuk gasped when he pulled out, closing his eyes to adjust to feeling empty again.

“I know you quit smoking a couple of months ago, but you don’t go to that hookah place anymore? You smell different.” Once again with his honesty.

“I only drink sometimes there. Hoonie.. You’re getting off topic again… Madagascar…”

“Oh yeah,” He laughed. “Madagascar.. Filming is postponed for another week and a half due to another planned strike so.. I wanted to take you on a trip, but as a reward.. We have to do something at least by this week about your home, you know.” He kissed his cheek before pulling back to look him in the eyes. Hyunsuk averted them before wiggling out of Jihoon’s lap to stand and put his clothes on, taking off his soiled button-up and replacing it with his jacket, zipping it up. All the while silent while he did so. Jihoon just watched patiently before he decided to clean up himself and pull his pants back up.

“Okay..” Hyunsuk nodded. “You said you know someone I can talk to? Someone who can help?”

Jihoon nodded, placing a hand on Hyunsuk’s hip. “Trust me.” The large puppy eyes the actor was looking up with were irresistible. They shared one last kiss before Jihoon texted his driver, who was probably enjoying his break in a nearby Lotteria.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hyunsuk sat patiently in the comfortable room. It was homey and warm. It didn’t feel like a doctor's office at all or a place for crazy people. He tried to sit nonchalantly and relax, waiting for the doctor to arrive. The shawl on the couch was knitted prettily, and the couch itself too felt like a dense cloud. He perked up when the door opened, and he stood and bowed. The doctor looked really young. His smile was very beautiful, and his body was towering, tall, and broad. The man looked like a model.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Park Jeongwoo. Sorry you had to wait that long.” He sat in a lounger that looked equally comfortable before he grabbed what looked to be an iPad in the most indestructible-looking case.
 
The doctor smiled shyly at his staring. “Are you starstruck by me, too, Choi-nim?” He playfully joked.

“You’re the psychiatrist and therapist Jihoon called, right? He’s your older cousin?” The whole family must have been genetically gifted. That meant Jihoon probably dumped everything he knew about him to the doctor already. Hyunsuk blushed.

“I am. I specialize in compulsive disorders like OCD, compulsive behavior regulation, and anxiety disorders. Are you comfortable enough to get started now? Would you like to tell me on a scale of one to ten how extreme your accumulation tendencies are?”

“Eleven..” He sighed.

Dr. Park just nodded, attaching his keyboard to the iPad and began typing on his lap. He didn’t say much, so he didn’t understand what needed to be typed. 

“Any other things, besides the shopping and hoarding, no paranoia, hallucinations?” He asked, glancing up.

Hyunsuk just shook his head. “No.. well, I have a lot of nightmares and I don’t get the best rest…”

“Have you been diagnosed with any Anxiety disorder?”

“No..” Hyunsuk fidgeted with the chunky rings on his fingers. Dr. Park stopped and watched him do so, and in turn, Hyunsuk stopped fidgeting. He began typing again.

“Do you have any questions for me, Choi-nim?” The doctor asked, sitting back more comfortably now.

“Me?” Hyunsuk pointed to himself. Dr. Park nodded. “Well.. Um, you look really young, how long have you helped people like me?” He was curious. Dr. Park couldn’t be older than Haruto, who was only twenty-one.

The doctor smiled a modest smile. “Well, I’ve been in this profession for two years now. It hasn’t been that long, but I’m the youngest in the area in this field. I graduated from school in Australia at only fourteen and then university right away, so… I’ve had plenty of time to study these things that may hinder our lives. Everything has a cause and effect, and well, I’ve always felt that knowing how individual people function and live day to day was important for society. Chalking everyone who functions in a pattern not set to societal norms as disorderly or dysfunctional never sat right with me. So Choi-nim, can you tell me more about yourself, your life, family?”

Hyunsuk was absorbing everything he was hearing. This guy was way smarter and seemed way wiser than what he looked outwardly, and being so young too, on top of it was impressive.

“I well… I'm a tattoo artist… I own my own parlor in Jongno, and well, I'm a huge movie fan… You know about Jihoon, so..I read a lot of poetry….” he looked down at his hands while he thought.

“Your family? What's your relationship with them?”

“I have a mother, but I was adopted when I was little, and she divorced a year or so after she adopted me. I don't remember how old I was.”

Dr. Park’s gaze was a little intense, but his speaking was gentle. “Is your relationship well with her?”

He really thought about it. “I know she loves me…” Dr. Park let him take his time. “But I know I disappoint her. Since middle school, I've been wild.”

Dr. Park continued to type. “I’m going to now ask you a bit about your shopping tendencies and your accumulating things, we’ll get back to the family discussion some more later. Do you consider yourself a collector with collections?”

Hyunsuk nodded. “I have a designer clothes collection along with action figures and pop vinyl collections.. In their own cases..”

“Can the vinyl figure collection be viewed by guests who may come over? Is there clutter surrounding it?” Jeongwoo kept typing.

“No… it's.. I cover it with sheets so the sun doesn’t bleach the paint and plastic or resin if some are resin figures.”

“So you can’t enjoy your collection Choi-nim… That is quite stressful for you, I bet. When did the constant buying start? Do you remember?” He finally set the iPad aside, sitting in a way like a guy just talking to a friend, with his leg on his knee, relaxed.

“When I was fourteen, maybe.. I started collecting, and I always got nagged by my mother that I spent too much of my allowance on things I didn’t need… I would just say sorry and still just buy things I thought were pretty or that seemed cool at the time… but..”

“There was a cap on what you could buy as a kid? Because of allowance?” Dr. Park tilted his head.

“Well, … Yeah, and when I moved out at seventeen to live with my girlfriend at the time, I started buying a lot of clothes… It stopped for a while during my military service, but once I started going into business with my friend, I think it got uncontrollable.. My buying and spending habits, and I was 13,400,000₩ in debt..”

Dr. Park didn’t seem shocked at all. He just nodded. “Well, how is your debt now? Did you manage to take some control of it?”

“I did.. I got someone who knows finances very well, and when I broke up with my girlfriend and moved to Seoul, I lowered my debt and closed some of my cards, and well.. Got financially more knowledgeable to open my parlor.” Hyunsuk shrugged.

“Well, see? If you can manage to get your finances under control, we can get your buying and spending on things in stressful situations under control. It won’t be easy, but I will help you through it. We may do things that may cause discomfort when it comes to the decluttering phase, but it’s important for your rehabilitation. I’ll contact your housing management office to further discuss your home because this process takes time, and a week to declutter or a forced clean will just make you relapse and probably accumulate more the second time. Under HASU law, they can not forcefully or actively kick you out if you are taking the proper measures to remedy the clutter.”

Hyunsuk felt relieved. So relieved, he did cry a little as the conversation continued. He thought the therapy would be a lot of ‘how does that make you feel’ or annoying things shrinks said in movies and dramas that seemed all too patronizing. He feared he’d be judged, but even with Dr. Park's word choices, it didn’t seem like such a big deal, and he felt less like a cornered animal but someone trying to fix a problem.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Yoshi was on his hydraulic bed, lying face down while he tattooed a large star on his shoulder and back. Things had been peaceful for a while. The other artist told him about how Kim Junkyu called him out of the blue to go to dinner again, and he debated whether he should go with how everything went down the first time. Mid-tattooing, Haruto and Doyoung came barrelling into the parlor stressed.

“Hyung! “ Haruto’s voice boomed.

“What’s with you guys?!” Hyunsuk stopped tattooing right away.

“We were just listening to some news on the TV in the background in the salon, and then Entertainment Weekly came on. A blind item about 'Korea's biggest A-list movie actor' was released by someone anonymous!  Something about a van parked in the Mallijae-ro neighborhood near the Lotteria..” 

Doyoung pulled up the clip on his phone. It was shaky, far-away footage shot from someone’s phone of Jihoon digging around in the back of the van that he and the actor were intimate in, then him looking around before hopping back in the van. The footage sped up, and no one could see in the van, but the movement was slight. There was a small time-lapse, and then the driver came back, got in the sprinter, and drove away. It cuts to the van parked in near Jihoon’s residency several alleyways away before he hops out, but the way the sliding door is opened Hyunsuk’s windbreaker joggers, his painted nails and the diamond tattoo on the back of his hand could be seen as he picks up his phone and waves at Jihoon before the door is shut. The clip abruptly ends.

“The blind item statement said ‘Trying to catch my boyfriend cheating, didn’t expect it to be with P**** J*****’ “ Haruto frowned.

Yoshi sat up with concern in his eyes. “...Hyung?”

Hyunsuk was insensible as he ripped off his gloves and gestured to Haruto to finish Yoshi’s tattoo for him before trying to storm out of the parlor. Doyoung tried grabbing his arm, “Hyung, wait..”

Hyunsuk fought out of his grip. “Let go..” He didn’t sound angry or sad. It was eerie. The look in his eyes was burning ferociously, so Doyoung let go and watched Hyunsuk swing open the door and leave.

Chapter Text

Hyunsuk didn’t know exactly where he would find Nuri. He remembered the last time he ran into her on the street, so he went back to that exact spot, hoping to find her and confront her. He didn’t know what would come of facing her, but he just wanted answers. When he got there, there was no one around. Just a couple of students before cram school going in and out for energy drinks and snacks. Hyunsuk pulled out his phone, frazzled.

Jihoon wasn’t answering his texts at all, and he knew he was busy with filming, but with the news circulating about ‘a male fling’ making several headlines, he expected him to message him. Hyunsuk went straight to the Lotte Market, a couple of blocks away in the district, to see if he could get any stomach aid and an ace band to wrap around his tattoo. He needed to hide it, but it might be too late.

Jihoon’s crazy fans may find it really hard to find him, and they probably already traced his tattoo to him somehow. Hyunsuk began to unblock a number and call it right away. It only took two rings, and he quickly ran into the store’s bathroom, checking the stalls to see if they were empty.

“Nuri what the fuck do you really want? Huh?” His voice was icy with an angry bite.

“Oppa, you need to be more specific. I want a lot of things.” She scoffed. Every time she called him oppa now it made him itchy.

“Are you serious right now? You think this is a joke or something? Stalking me? Filming me? Trying to have me admitted?! Are you crazy? When did you get like this? Why won’t you leave me alone?!” His voice trembled with rage as he rapidly spoke, now pacing in the hand washing area like a flame was ignited in him, and he was on go, ready to take off if he needed to.

“It’s because I love you oppa! Don’t you get it?! I’ll do anything and everything to have you back! I don’t care if you want it or not! You’ll see and be grateful for everything once I get you to realize how much you belong to me!” Her voice was scary. She would go from pitched to huffy and then to almost hysterical. 

“Sending a blind item, that's blackmail to out myself, and even worse, you got someone innocent involved? For what? I’m never getting back with you. You shattered my trust in you, and you continue to do things to hurt me. So why would I get back with you when I don’t even like you anymore, Nuri?”

She sucked her teeth as if what he was saying was getting on her nerves. “ You love me. How much you used to beg and plead for me to go places with you and stay the night. You do love me, and we never broke up.” She said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Hyunsuk was completely stupefied by it all. She was delusional and dangerous. He quickly hung up and reblocked the number. Deleting the contact completely. He regretted calling her because it did nothing. He just wanted answers.

He was in a store.

There wasn’t really anything he needed, but maybe some more bandages to cover his hand. Hyunsuk went back to the aisle and quickly grabbed the full supply. He needed them. He told himself over and over in his own head as he grabbed every last one. He could take the rest home and store them. Dr. Park said 'Think of need first, not want.' Did he really need them? Yes, he did need them for his tattoo, and the one pack he had might get used up, so he needed more just in case to replace it. Anything could happen.
…

But Dr. Park said a lot of things in life could happen, so should he panic? He was right, he could buy as he needed, right? Hyunsuk took a deep breath. He put the extra boxes back on the shelf neatly. He stood there for a minute, just biting his lip ring, trying to debate if this was okay for him. Would he be okay?

A mother with her daughter in the pram nodded at him with a smile as she tried to push past him in the aisle. He smiled at the toddler, and she giggled and clapped. He needed to move. Hyunsuk smiled sheepishly at her before passing her in the opposite direction, going to check out the one pack. He got a stomach aid at the counter and hurried out, downing the medicine as he hurried back to the parlor.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Jihoon was familiar with feeling numb. He knew it very well where he was a thrill seeker to some extent, to try to feel some sort of excitement. He was an actor, and the fame alone should have gotten his blood pumping, but it had become more of a hindrance than anything really fun. The traveling and meeting new people, and being able to play pretend in front of expensive cameras while driving fast cars and motorcycles, was exciting, but he felt nothing once everything was on pause. 

His mother and father put him in every extracurricular known to man as soon as he could walk and talk. His mother..That inebriated woman was coaching and yelling at him as he held a French horn, as if she understood the instrument when she could barely ever walk a straight line. 

His father told her to go easy on him in the most overtly unnecessary sort of way of dragging her by her hair through their disgusting home filled with unsorted trash and belongings.

The more activities she put him in, the happier he was to be out of the crowded dwelling. His father had been a scandalous drama actor in the eighties and early nineties when there was an entertainment boom. Handsome and charismatic, but a drug scandal made everything crumble, and his indie singer mother stuck by his side throughout, even marrying him and having him. Jihoon was their second chance.

Acting lessons, Martial arts, instruments, singing. He landed his first role at five in a commercial. It opened the door to him being a regular on a children’s program on KBS, then later, when he was seven, in a horror movie as a possessed child. His performance was so eerie and adult that he won his first award for the performance, and he could cry on cue. What every director wanted from a child. A heart-wrenching crying child was desired.

His father used him to try to sneak back into the limelight, getting a role as his father in a television movie. The public wasn’t buying it and said Jihoon’s performance was better than the adults. His father resented him for it.

The trash got worse, and his parents' behavior got worse. His father would bring multiple women home when his mother was knocked out from whatever she had taken or drank. Jihoon didn’t have his own room, so he had to witness everything, see everything. He was nine when he saw a naked woman for the first time, stumbling away drunk or high out of her mind, leaning against the frame of the halfway wall. She waved at him and complimented his acting in the last drama he was in. He ran out of the house so fast he almost tripped on his shoelace.

People would think he would have seen the inappropriate behaviors of adults on sets. He did see his fair share of things that were suspicious on set, but the worst things he ever saw were in his own home.

Thirteen is when he started fighting back. He came back from his Hapkido meet one evening with his father blocking the door, not letting him in. Randomly decided to pick a fight with him. Jihoon brushed past him only for the man to blow his cigarette smoke into his face and flick the butt at him. On reflex, he pushed him away and a fight ensued. He was being choked by him. The same way he saw him do to his mother as a little boy.

He grabbed the trophy to hit him hard against the back of his head. Knocking him out. Jihoon didn’t know if he had killed him or not. He didn’t care. He found a shopping bag to get everything he needed and the trophy, and in an upset panic, he ran out of there, never coming back.

Jihoon had only ever been to his agent’s home once, and he had a photographic memory. He walked for over two hours to his agent’s home and stood there wanting to knock on the door. She opened the door for him once he banged on the door. He didn’t tell her what happened, but told her he couldn’t live with his family anymore.

The young actor stayed with this agent and lived with her, even dating her daughter until he was nineteen. Jihoon landed role after role, and dated actress after actress, either to promote a movie or drama, not feeling a single thing for them. He thought maybe it was an orientation thing. He played these roles as a man madly in love all the time. He ended up dating the main male lead in a school romance film. They would sneak off between scenes to fool around. Jihoon still felt nothing. It was fun to mess around, though.

By the time Jihoon was twenty three he realized he had a type. He loved tattoos. He’d had his share of briefly dating idols and actors and actresses alike who were covered in ink as the stigmas around tattoos in Korea started becoming nonexistent. Even in Japan and America, too. The juxtaposition of a pretty or cute person with tattoos really attracted the actor.

It was no surprise that he’d right away want Hyunsuk when he laid his eyes on him. Years ago, he tried hitting on his own favorite tattoo artist, Asahi, but he was adamant on strictly being friends, and they stayed friends for years. His new boss, on the other hand, was beyond his type. Soft with pretty features but with several edgy piercings on his small face and ears, and tattoos all over his body. A swagged-out Thumbelina was the first thing that popped up in his head. The mullet made him look cute and cool at the same time.

Jihoon wanted to stop Asahi from tattooing him, so he could scoop up the shorter man cleaning up a noodle spill at the base of the parlor stairs. He didn’t want to scare the guy away, but he couldn’t stop looking at him. He was so pretty.

He was so sincere. A Gun Tower fan too. His recent blockbuster hit had a cult following, so he wasn’t surprised. What were the odds, though, that he would run into someone with special and limited edition memorabilia? Hyunsuk wasn’t just a casual fan but a mega fan. It worried him because that could go two ways. A stalker situation, or he could keep his distance, too afraid to cross any line with his hero.

Neither of those things happened. The man was so dense and scatterbrained that they flirted but had a goofy friendship where they directly messaged each other memes, along with just having deep discussions. Hyunsuk was pretty insecure sometimes, though, and would try to push him away, feeling doubtful if he was worthy enough to be his friend. He had to keep reminding him that he was just a man.

Jihoon had never done anything like that before. Courting someone. He could just smile and say hello and quickly fall into bed, but this was different. He was learning about this person. Hyunsuk thought a lot, and was painfully self conscious but cocky and confident about particular things that made him boyish and funny.

The tension they had in California was at its highest peak when Hyunsuk came in so coolly and smiling. It was the first time he saw the man truly smile, and it was perfect, dazzling, but his erotic behavior... He lost control.

Jihoon's relationship with sex was confusing and kind of toxic. Only ever engaged because he felt it was something he had to do. He was a man, and so he should. Usually, others came onto him, and he would just say okay. No meaning. Nothing. 

Most of it, if he wasn't enjoying himself, was getting the other person off just to get it over with. Sometimes, never even finishing, just doing it to say he did. He didn’t like or dislike it, but when he had his first time with Hyunsuk. He felt something. It was intense, and it heightened everything. It could have been the other man’s voice, his body, how handsome he was, or the effort of pursuing him that made him feel so good.

If he had to describe what happened, it was beyond anything he’d ever experienced with a partner. He bedded his fair share of people with tattoos, but Hyunsuk was art. His skin was flawless, soft, and warm to the touch, contrasted by the colorful ink all over him. Every detail of every etching in his skin was gorgeous. Hyunsuk didn’t have one single bad tattoo.

Everything looked like it was supposed to be on him. He had several works intertwining with one another, almost like paintings of botany and wildlife. His wings made of flowers were beautiful. He was drawn into the intricate detail, and the way Hyunsuk glanced over his shoulder shyly and with some worry in his expression.  His compact body fit perfectly against him, and Jihoon couldn’t stop touching it. It was like he was copulating with art that belonged in the Musée d'Orsay.
 

Even after it all, he couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunsuk. He wanted him more and more, but he wasn’t sure if it was okay to feel these things. Hyunsuk’s eyes always looked like they were pleading with him. Jihoon wasn’t sure why.

Then he told him what happened to him as a kid. Now he understood the look in his eyes. The constant uneasiness surrounding him and the way he would zone out when they would just be together in a relaxed situation, like he was constantly living in a warzone inside his own mind. It made him feel really bad for Hyunsuk. He debated whether it was viable to stay with the tattoo artist, though. He was quick to say he was by his side, but if he was being honest, he wasn’t too sure.

Next, he showed him how badly he was out of control of his mental health by taking him to his apartment. When he saw it, he got flashbacks of his early home life as a child. The screaming and yelling, and fighting. The piles of trash and things were stacked to the ceiling. His mother lay face down in her clubbing clothing, covered in alcohol and her own vomit in her hair. His father just stepped around her, ignoring it, stepping over trash while smoking a cigarette. It was all too vivid, and he thought he had reigned in everything in therapy, but seeing the junked-up apartment brought it back. He just walked away, not really thinking of Hyunsuk’s feelings. Then Jihoon heard his voice. He sounded so heartbroken, thanking him for their time together. He really did look so small, afraid, and alone. He’d probably never shown anyone that, and he trusted him. Jihoon felt like shit afterward.

He didn’t know if he was in love with Hyunsuk or not. He liked him, and he wanted to care for him and protect him. It was his first real relationship situation, and he didn’t know if he was doing things right. Jihoon needed to see him again to make sure what he was feeling was actually love or not.

The meet-up was supposed to be a trip for a quick bite and a discussion on their relationship and how he talked to his cousin Jeongwoo, and gauge if Hyunsuk even wanted the help, but he lost control again. The way Hyunsuk kept shyly glancing at him, trying to be cool. Smiling cutely in confusion when a joke went over his head.. He fit so perfectly against him, and as they had sex, Hyunsuk was the most honest when he was lost in his body. His moans told the whole story, and afterward, the look on his face again. Like he really wanted to say something, but was holding back again. Jihoon was holding back, too. Jihoon wanted to kiss him over and over again. His chest was tightening when Hyunsuk clung to him so tightly. Treated every meeting like it was their last time. He wished Hyunsuk would really say what he felt, so he would have the courage to as well.

Blind items were usually leaked to the press by whatever movie set’s PR team at the time was in charge, knowing how scandalous he was to draw eyes to him and more attention to whatever film he was starring in. Most blind items were fabricated.  Some that were submitted to the media from outsiders were from those seeking some sort of monetary gain. A lot of the time, it didn’t work since Jihoon would go on talk shows or interviews and leak said information himself with a smile on his face. He hated blackmailers the most. He remembered his father submitting a blind item about him being an ungrateful son and leaving his family in the dust for fame. When the public found out who sent the blind item, no one took it seriously, but this time, he was in quite a dilemma.

He knew Hyunsuk didn’t want to be perceived, but someone managed to follow them. What shocked Jihoon more was the claim that the submitter was dating Hyunsuk. He didn’t know what to do or how to feel. The tattoo artist was so strong on cheating, so it didn’t sound correct at all, and whoever sent in the blackmail was tied to Hyunsuk somehow for some sort of revenge or something else. 

Jihoon was in the middle of shooting some promotions for Past Assassin when a P.A. came to him, informing him to call his agent later. That it was important. He was suddenly thrown into a scolding nightmare of his agent freaking out.

“So you’re fucking fans now?” His agent snapped.

“Wha-? Huh? I’m shooting something.” He huffed, not sure what exactly his agent was getting at.

“A blind item was released and not the one we were gonna send about you and Hana to promote your film… Something about you and some guy in a van, and when we did some digging, it's someone in your fan club? Are you serious now, Park Jihoon?”

Jihoon went from standing there frozen to running to get his private phone and turning it on at his dressing room vanity. When it started up, he got floods of messages from Hyunsuk relating to the blind item from a couple of hours ago. He couldn't care less about his public image in this matter, but what he cared about was how Hyunsuk was handling this news.

He checked his social media, like the photo he took at Indigo Ink, to see if anything defined matched with the video in the blind item. The way Hyunsuk was giving a peace sign with his hand tattoo couldn’t be seen. Deleting this picture, just in case, would make people suspicious. He left it up. He quickly answered Hyunsuk’s frantic texting.

‘Are you okay? I’m sorry, I was shooting something and had my phone off. I saw what’s going on. It’s okay, Sukkie hyung. I’ll call you later.’

He quickly got a response.

‘Hoonie, I’m so sorry this is all my fault. I know who told the media. I should have told you about my ex-girlfriend, but I didn’t expect her to completely lose her mind. She’s been a recent problem of mine.’

Jihoon was taken aback, a crazy ex-girlfriend, too? Now he fully understood why Hyunsuk walked around and reminded him of the pouty-natured Norwegian lemmings he saw while shooting some of Gun Tower 2 with its hackles up all the time when they saw people. His snippiness and untrusting nature, not believing any of his flirting, and saying that talking to him was a bad idea. He would pick the little creatures up in between takes, where they would relax in his hand, enjoying being pet after causing such a panicked mess of baring their teeth on the ground. The tattoo artist reminded him of them.

Jihoon heard all of Hyunsuk’s warnings but ignored them because he liked him so much. The man was the luckiest unlucky person. An A-list celebrity was obsessed with him like a fan, their roles reversed, but in turn, he has trauma-based disorders and an obsessed ex-girlfriend. Now, Jihoon really was determined to stay and make Hyunsuk smile all the time.

‘It’s okay, hey, when I’m done here, I’ll give you an address. Meet me there and we can talk about Madagascar. I have a brochure.’

Hyunsuk kept typing, then stopping, then typing again. Jihoon said goodbye to the filming staff and then went to take off his makeup. When his phone buzzed, he laughed at Hyunsuk’s message.

‘I can’t believe you. Madagascar might sink into the ocean at the rate things are going. Why Madagascar?!’

He decided to answer back once he got into the back of the Sprinter he came in.

‘I wanna see you frolic on the beaches.’

Jihoon made it home with some time to spare before his personal driver came to get him to take him to see Hyunsuk. He decided to meal prep for the week since his fast was over and the postponement of the shooting of the sequel. He checked his phone again while lying around on his couch. 

‘I was having my first meal of the day and almost choked. Frolicing?!’

Jihoon laughed at the response. He could just imagine his Hyunsukkie hyung’s expression.

‘What are you eating? Something other than cup noodle?’ He was really worried about Hyunsuk’s sodium intake. The man sometimes forgot to eat, and when he did eat, it was always just an unnecessary amount of salt and carbs sometimes. That or salted or spicy walnuts or almonds. Nothing really viable for him.

‘Samanco’

That was his only response. Jihoon frowned.

‘Sorry Jihoonie, it’s all I had here at the parlor.’

It was almost as if he knew what his face looked like at that exact moment. He softened up a bit from the cute response.

‘I’ll chew you out later when we meet up.’ He sent a kissing emoji afterward before opening his Instagram to type a note for his fans.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

When Hyunsuk read the last message from Jihoon, he almost choked on his ice cream again. He was threatened in a flirty way after everything. The actor seemed really unbothered by the gossip about them. He quickly went up the stairs in the parlor, almost knocking Yoshi over in the process.

“Hey! Hyung! You almost pushed me down the stairs.” Yoshi complained. “Why are you running now?”

“I talked to Jihoon just now.. I’m going to meet him, so lock up when you’re done.” Hyunsuk stared at himself in the mirror, trying to decide if he wanted to push his bangs back or not. He was freaking out more than he needed to. He just decided to leave his mullet alone with a sigh.

“Hyung, you look fine.”

“Shh, hush.” He quickly grabbed his bag and ran down the stairs and out the door. Hyunsuk looked down at his phone for the address. It was some sort of building in Hannam-dong, a secluded suburb outside Seoul. It was a bit of a taxi ride to get there, and when he got there, he felt out of place.

A lot of the buildings and homes looked new and modern. He followed the walking instructions to a building that looked like it was made of bubble wrap using the entrance code the actor sent him and then using the secondary code to enter another door. It was a condo this time. He wasn’t really surprised that Jihoon probably owned multiple properties. This place must not have been really known to the public or media due to keeping the neighborhood secluded with stricter rules. 

Hyunsuk took off his chunky shoes and walked lightly around on the hard birchwood floors, feeling like he shouldn’t touch anything around him. Everything was clean and pristine. Jihoon lived a neat and organized life, and Hyunsuk’s self-doubt was starting to worm its way back in. He couldn’t sit still, so he wandered around checking everything out. The place had its own movie theater. When he was looking a the large projection screen, he heard the sound of a door closing.

“Jagi-ya?!” Jihoon squealed in a high-pitched voice, making him snort.

“Wha- Sukkie are you hiding?” Hyunsuk could hear the sound of Jihoon taking his heavy boots off. He peeked around the corner to see if he could see him down the hall. His face lit up when he spotted him.

“There you are, why are you hiding?”

“Well.. I wasn't hiding. I was kinda nosy.. Is this place another home?” He came out of the theater and approached Jihoon, who roughly pulled him into an embrace that he didn’t fight.

“Yeah, but I’m never here. It's more of an investment.. I brought steak.”  Hyunsuk pulled back with wide eyes.

“Wait, …I thought.. I thought we were going to talk about the video.. And well, the trip thing..”

“Madagascar? Yeah, but you only ate ice cream today. That’s psychotic. Let’s have a normal dinner first, hmm?” The actor ruffled Hyunsuk’s hair.

“Jihoon.. I’m really sorry.” Hyunsuk wrapped his arms around Jihoon’s waist, resting his forehead on his collarbone. He could only assume that he probably looked confused.

“Nuri.. my ex-girlfriend…”

“Don’t worry about it.. I made an Instagram post because what I hate more than anything is when someone tries to drive a narrative and lie when I’m the one holding the steering wheel. She’s not gonna win. I do what I want to.”

Hyunsuk smiled when Jihoon said his infamous quote. He really was a go-with-the-flow sort of guy.

“When I was younger, I thought two hot chicks fighting over me would be a kind of sexy idea, but… a crazy woman and kind of a wild man fighting over me.. I kind of hate it… I might go bald from stress..”

Jihoon laughed. “It’s not really a fight if I’ve already won. What? Want me to wrestle her in a pool full of honey? What’s the fetish called?” Hyunsuk quickly covered the actor’s mouth with both his hands. He could still feel him smiling against his palm.

“You..” Hyunsuk sighed and removed his hands.

“Let’s eat before it gets cold.” Jihoon’s eyes were sparkling so happily as he took his hand, leading him back down the hallway to the kitchen. Hyunsuk meekly made his way over to the large dining table to sit, feeling out of place or like a toddler in a chair too big for him. He could hear Jihoon noisily plating the food and singing loudly.  He didn’t want to, but curiosity was killing him. Hyunsuk pulled out his phone from his pocket to see what Jihoon’s story said. It was a bit shocking, but he really wasn’t surprised.

‘Everyone who is playing private investigator can stop trying to find my current partner in the wild. That video spreading around is exactly what it looks like, but the only thing that is incorrect is the original video provider’s identity and the lie that he’s in a current relationship with this person. I normally don’t speak up online when it comes to gossip, but my lover is a private man. If you are a fan of mine, you’d respect my wishes and his wishes of privacy. To the woman distressing your ex for your own revenge for him dumping you, if you continue with any more stalking and slander, I’ll gladly face you in court.’

The background of the note looked like a stock image of a beach.

Hyunsuk realized it was Madagascar. 

Jihoon was spitting in Nuri’s face by saying, ‘I have him and you can’t’. He was unbelievable. If they go and it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, he knew Jihoon was going to pout.

The actor put the plate in front of him, and it was the fanciest wagyu he'd ever seen. It looked almost fake. The bok choy and pommes aligot looked equally as good. 

“Enjoy your meal, hyung.” Jihoon smoothed out the back of his mullet, his hand lingering on the nape of his neck, sending a shiver down his body. Hyunsuk watched him go to a wooden wine rack and get a bottle of wine. He turned back around, looking down at the plate, unsure.

Jihoon poured the wine for both of them and took his seat across from him. He was about to start eating when he noticed his expression.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?” Jihoon, tilting his head, reminded him so much of those cute puppy videos online.

“It’s dumb…” He shook his head with a smile, beginning to eat.

“Tell me.’ Jihoon started eating too.

Before Hyunsuk could bring the meat to his mouth, he sighed.”Well… I just feel like a freeloader… hiding out all the time with you. You feed me, dress me up in nice clothing to take me across and around the world, saying you want to take me on vacations… You do so much, I wanna do something for you.. Something in return… In my past relationship, well.. I was always the one giving. I don’t know… I just feel ..useless.”

Jihoon smiled at him, leaning back, crossing his arms in thought. “Hyunsukkie hyung….” He thought for a minute before nodding and speaking again. “I get it, it hurts your pride as a man a little.” 

Hyunsuk shrugged. “I guess, a little.”

“Okay, well, in return. Express your feelings for me with your talent. Design me a back tattoo… Oh! You also owe me that nose piercing.” He pointed to his nostril.

“Huh?!” Hyunsuk almost dropped his utensils.

“Yeah!” Jihoon’s grin held that mischief behind it. “I mean it. Design me something from the heart.. Surprise me, and I want you to tattoo me.”

Hyunsuk took a sip of his wine to reset himself. The request caught him off guard, but Jihoon was right. It was a skill specific to him that he could do as a lover, but it was permanent. It would be the perfect time to express himself to the actor.

“Okay.” Hyunsuk nodded, feeling confident he could do it. “I’ll design something for you. A gift for you, something special.” He smiled, his eyes smiling along with him, the more he thought about what he wanted to etch into his lover. Jihoon stared at him almost in awe for a moment.

They finished dinner with Hyunsuk exclaiming happily with almost every bite, amusing Jihoon.

Apparently, Jihoon brought a huge load of his laundry with him to their dinner date. He washed his clothes while Hyunsuk showered and put on a spare pair of pajamas left out for him. He blushed. Jihoon must have come into the bathroom while when was showering and didn’t notice while he rinsed the shampoo from his eyes. He didn’t remember falling asleep on his side like a dead caterpillar in his bright green get-up in the center of the bed until he felt himself being spooned.

“Hmm?” He mumbled, still partially asleep.

“Are you still resting poorly in the parlor?” Jihoon asked while trying to loop his arms around him and drag him under the covers.

“..Yeah..” He sleepily answered.

“Well, if you want, you can stay here whenever, Sukrangie.” He said cutely in his ear. His eyes instantly popped open.

“I .. That’s a bad idea, Hoonie…What if people find out or.. This place is so clean.. I can’t.”

“Hyung, I’ve heard about some of the progress you’ve made from your own mouth… I wouldn’t invite you to stay If I didn’t trust you. Plus, you have me here to help you out. If you need rest and this bed is comfortable to you, I don’t see why you shouldn’t stay.” He tried turning him in his arms so he could kiss his face over and over again. Hyunsuk relaxed in his hold.

“Well, alright..” He wanted to say more to Jihoon. “If you say so.” He mumbled, looping his arm around Jihoon’s waist.

“Hey, so Madagascar.. I looked at some resorts, and there are some places where there are open bungalows on the beach.”

Hyunsuk whined. “You really won’t let it go, will you? How badly do you want me to go with you to that place with scary big crabs and weird animals?”

Jihoon laughs. “Is that why you are so against going?! Crabs?!”

“Yes! I saw a documentary on how they have huge blue crabs that are stronger than me for sure. It’s too scary, okay?” The more he complained and frowned, the brighter Jihoon’s smile got.

“Okay, so think about if we caught one and cooked it, how good the meat would be.”

Hyunsuk shook his head. “Nah, I’m good.”

“What if I gave you Gun Tower 2 spoilers? Would you wanna go?” Jihoon wrapped his legs around him, now trapping him.

Hyunsuk’s eyes went wide. “Really?” He grabbed Jihoon’s face, making him look him in the eyes.

“Yeah! You just have to promise when you will come with me.” Jihoon leaned forward so their noses were almost touching. It made Hyunsuk go cross-eyed.

“..Okay, I promise…”

“Alright, so Sung, Bruce, and Lily climb the tower.” He didn’t say anything further. Just a giggle coming out of him.

Hyunsuk let a frustrated growl from his throat before pushing Jihoon's face away. “That’s not a spoiler!”

“Yeah, it is! So pack your trunks or wear nothing at all, I don’t mind.”

Hyunsuk pinched the man’s lips closed before burying his face in the pillow. “I’m going to sleep now.” He announced, muffled by the pillow. Jihoon held back his mirthful laughs, snuggling the smaller man more.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Cute, handsome, cute. He wished there was a way to frame Hyunsuk’s smile. Ever since the tattoo artist managed to get half of his apartment cleared of all the clutter, Jihoon noticed the man smiling more around him.  He entered the condo in Hannam-dong, noticing Hyunsuk’s Alexander McQueen chunky sole sneakers in the shoe box by the door. His cutie was home.

It really felt like catching a fairy. Every chance he got during the week, he would come by the condo to see if Hyunsuk was there in his free time. Sometimes he wasn't, sometimes he was. He tiptoed around to try to find the man to surprise him. 

Hyunsuk was in the small office he had never really used since his P.A. and agents took care of the technical things like scheduling, along with other matters. The tattoo artist had on a loose gray tank top and sweats with his legs folded up in the chair as he was drawing and humming the song turned down low on the speakers. He was concentrating on drawing and didn't notice Jihoon coming in. He pinched his ribs, earning a yelp from Hyunsuk.

“Whoa!” The actor stuck his finger in his ear, feeling the ringing from the yell. “Ariana Grande?” 

Hyunsuk took a deep breath, minimizing the window for his art. He'd already seen a bit of it already. From what he saw already, it looked like a beautifully drawn hand holding the trunk of a blooming tree with the roots still attached, almost like a bouquet.

“Ya! Park Jihoon!” His voice cracked, his nose and ears red as he spun his chair around. He pulled his hand back, slapping his butt making him yelp too. “You're not supposed to see it yet!” he complained, but with a smirk.

“You haven't been back in two days. I just did a remote interview, and I brought you a snack and everything.” Jihoon helped him tilt his head back to bend down and kiss him. The actor's hand slipped into his shirt to feel his heated skin. It had been a while since he kissed him, and the way the hard ring and the contrast of his soft, melting lips felt made him dive in for more. He pulled away, smiling.

“Jihoon.. I'm in my working zone right now..” It sounded more like he was telling himself that more than the actor.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you alone then.” Jihoon winked at him before turning and running out of the room. “I have a phone call with my agent in forty-five minutes. We can grab dinner after!” He yelled from down the hall.

Hyunsuk was expecting the actor to take advantage of the hot and bothered atmosphere. He was rattled completely.

The only thing he could do now was work on his design.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Hyunsuk had his bags packed and something comfortable to wear on his flight for his trip with Jihoon. He got a message the night before that he’d meet him in Madagascar once he was done with his press tour for Past Assassin. He was only slightly bummed they couldn’t ride together. He didn’t tell Jihoon, but he was shaken up by Nuri the night before. She left a note wedged in the bottom of the parlor door threatening to escalate if he didn’t unblock his number. The ramblings were incoherent in some parts when she would go on tangents, insulting him, but then begging him to come back to Daegu with her. She was scaring him now.

That night, he went to sleep at the condo after packing. 

Incheon International was bustling with people hurrying in and out of the terminals to their destinations. Hyunsuk was in line for his baggage to be checked when Pandora’s box decided to release chaos into the airport that day. At first, he thought he was in the way, and the large flashing cameras and people surrounding him were trying to get photos of someone else or something, so he pulled up his mask and stepped aside, only for the cameras to follow him. Hyunsuk felt like a deer at the barrel of a gun. The flashing really hurt his eyes, and he stumbled, gripping his rolling suitcase. The tattoo artist quickly grabbed his sunglasses hanging from his breast pocket and put them on to shield his sensitive eyes. He swore under his breath.

“Oh Hyunsuk-ssi, where are you going today?! Are you going out of the country to see Jihoon?! Will you go to the premiere with him next week?” One of the reporters yelled. It suddenly dawned on him. Nuri told the media again. This is what she meant by escalating. She identified him, and he was currently being mobbed.

Chapter Text

Jihoon sat in the green room of the studio where he’d been doing back-to-back interviews with a makeup wipe resting on the top of his head as he frantically contacted his team in Korea. The news moved fast, and Hyunsuk’s information had leaked online. Clearly, it was that ex- girlfriend of his. Jihoon looked over at Junghwan, one of the co-stars for Gun Tower, not Past Assassin, he’d gotten closer to the young actor, and even if they were not in the same project for these interviews, they would visit each other, either on sets or in each other’s trailers.

“Hwan.. Hyunsuk got mobbed at the airport.. Remember I told you about his ex?”

Jungwan was taking full advantage of the catering and was eating a sandwich with his legs propped up.

“Hmm.. hire a hitman.” Junghwan shrugged. “I don’t really have any good solutions, hyung.” He picked up his phone to check what Jihoon was talking about.

“An order of protection only works if she is caught physically hurting him so… Fuck..” He hissed, annoyed, snatching the makeup removal sheet.

“She illegally released his information, which is against the law. You’re going to have to go to court, hyung.” Junghwan sat up. 

“She’s been stalking him.. I’ll contact my lawyer.” He mumbled before making a phone call.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Hiding in the biggest city in the country to get away did nothing, being in a new relationship, completely cutting her off did nothing, and at every turn, she managed to try to make his life a living nightmare. Eventually, some form of security got word of the crowd forming in the airport and pushed through it to get to him to escort him to his plane. Even boarding the plane, the stares made Hyunsuk queasy.

This was the second time flying in a first-class pod, but even in his own pod, someone who was seated near came over grinning ear to ear before the plane’s takeoff.

“Can.. can I have your autograph?” Hyunsuk sat there frozen with his tablet in his hand.

“I.. excuse me?” The man looked at him expectantly. “I - um I’m not an actor or famous person, so… I don’t have an autograph or anything, sorry. “ Hyunsuk apologized.

“Ah- I see.” The man looked sheepish before heading back to his own pod. If he had any more awkward interactions like that, he might scream at the top of his lungs.

For the moment, he just got his blanket and covered himself, shielding himself, and closed his curtain. He tried not to be shaken up by everything, and he kind of praised himself internally for not completely melting down and handling everything so well.

He tapped in and focused on the colors of the tattoo for Jihoon. Hyunsuk listened to his music painting until his stylus died, and he needed to take a break and charge it. When he looked at the time. He realized it was technically dinner time. After his meal, he decided on a movie. He had to stay up and adjust his body to the time difference.

Fifteen hours into his flight, he was sick of flying, and his sleep was thrown off. He just had to remind himself that he’ll be there soon, splashing around and fighting off crabs with Jihoon.

An hour before landing, he gave up on denying the offer for a cocktail from the flight attendant. He ended up drinking two, and by the time they landed, he was wasted. Hyunsuk was becoming even more of a lightweight since he hadn’t really gotten sloppy drunk in a while.

Hyunsuk felt gross from being in a plane with recycled air for twenty-two hours, pretty much a full day, and he was internally beating himself up as he stumbled into the airport trying to get his bag. Luckily, only a few people were trying to snap pictures of him sneakily. The press in Madagascar must not have gotten wind of him making it to their country. When he checked his phone. He saw that Jihoon’s flight was delayed by two hours. That meant he would have to wait alone at the resort. 

He tried to hurry out to a taxi that would take him to Nosy Boraha. His legs felt like lead once he got out of the taxi, slowly sobering up and getting on the boat that would take him to the bungalow resort.

He didn't even appreciate the beautiful, clear waters and white sand as the sun was coming up when he rode or when he checked in. Hyunsuk was escorted to the open bungalow secluded from the others in the area.

He almost fell asleep, washing away the scent of a full day airplane ride, and didn't bother dressing, just yanking a robe from his suitcase, not even noticing the provided ones as he flopped back in the bed, instantly falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Jihoon didn't expect to be delayed at JFK for two hours, but in the meantime, while waiting, he was contacting a few people to take care of a meddler in his life currently. His lawyer told him not to make a big scene with the ex, and he wasn't.. It didn't mean he wasn't going to make a big scene when it came to the media with Hyunsuk.

He wanted to ask Hyunsuk right away if he wanted to participate, of course, hurrying right away to the bungalow as soon as his plane touched the ground. Finding and entering a beautiful wooden structure.

“Sukkie? Jagi?” He walked in looking for the tattoo artist, not hearing a peep. Just the ocean in the distance and some chattering of the morning bird calls. When he rounded the corner from the foyer to a room with a large white bed, the man he was looking for sprawled out sleeping. He sighed with relief. He was okay.

The press clips were already going around about both of them. Hyunsuk looked shocked and shaken, hurrying to board his flight in his clip and the clips of himself at JFK being bum rushed too, but he was used to it and ready for it. The inappropriate questions about his relationship with the tattoo artist earned the cameras a cheeky smirk, posing with his tongue out and his middle finger before turning to thank the TSA agent and telling her to go watch Past Assassin on June 9th as she tried to suppress her laugh while he was ushered to Terminal 4 away from the hyenas.

Hyunsuk’s robe was falling off his shoulder, and his face was pouty with his eyebrows scrunched. Jihoon leaned over him, taking in his beautiful face. He was tired and jetlagged as well, and he knew Hyunsuk would scold him if he hopped into bed in the clothes he wore for a twenty-one-hour and forty-minute flight. He decided to follow in Hyunsuk’s footsteps and get in and wash away his flight filth as well. What he didn’t expect was a blonde head peeking into the room to see him behind the frosted glass door of the shower, then scurry away.

“Hey! Hyunsuk Choi!” He laughed.

“I was just checking to see if it was you and not a pervert!” Hyunsuk called, trying to defend himself.

“What would you do if I were one?! You could have checked my suitcase, you know!”

“...Okay, well still!”

Jihoon found it cute.

“If you were an intruder, I would have beaten you up when you came out,” Hyunsuk said plainly.

“That’s not very nice.” Jihoon continued his teasing while rinsing off and stepping out, towel-drying his hair, standing in the doorway nude and nonchalant. 

Hyunsuk blushed and looked around at their wide-open windows and open doors, exposing them to the beach. “Park Jihoon!” He called through gritted teeth, blushing bright red.

“What?” He tilted his head, batting his eyelashes, amused by the skittish reaction.

“The doors!”

“Relax, this area is secluded. No one is allowed in these private areas of the island unless they pay.” He could tell that Hyunsuk was trying not to look down. 
“You want a piece of me?” He came closer, climbing onto the bed, hovering over him. Caging him. 

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” He left affectionate kisses on his cheek, sweeter than rock sugar. His hand pushed up the robe Hyunsuk was wearing. He was disappointed to know Hyunsuk was wearing underwear.

“Wait!” Hyunsuk grabbed the bottom of his robe, trying to pull it down to cover himself.

“I’ve already seen it before. What? Do you not want to take a ride? Want to give me a ride instead?” Jihoon leaned down closer.

Hyunsuk’s eyes got bigger, and he couldn’t help but smile like a happy Labrador excited to catch a ball. “What? You didn’t think that was an option?”

“... Don’t distract me! We have to talk about what happened at the airport!”

“I contacted my lawyer, don’t worry. At this point you're out, so you can go with me to premieres and..” He straddled his legs. “You can relax… show me what you got, right?” Hyunsuk broke eye contact by first turning his head to the side. “Wow, it got bigger.. So you're onboard?”

Hyunsuk took a deep breath. “Alright… I’ve thought about it..” He blushed more.

“Have you?” Jihoon couldn’t contain his happiness. “Thought about showing me a good time or publicly displaying our relationship?” 

“I want a turn… That’s what I’m saying ‘yes’ to. The public stuff we should discuss more…maybe later.” Hyunsuk unconsciously gripped his hip. 

It had been a while, his longest streak of no action due to press tours and interviews, along with the artist being pretty busy himself. 

“Tell me Sukkie hyung, what do you do when you think about ‘it’? I wanna know since you’ve clearly given this some thought.” Hyunsuk boldly began to touch and rest his hands on his muscular thighs.

“What do you think I do?” He mumbled through puckered lips. Jihoon could only imagine while he fully became aroused, noticing him still sort of sleepy, drooling over his body. He leaned down, capturing his lips softly letting out a moan when he felt Hyunsuk grinding against the cleft of his ass. When Jihoon pulled back with a smile, he opened Hyunsuk’s robe, running his hand down his arm, feeling the sinewiness of his muscles and feeling the smoothness of the art etched into the man. Hyunsuk’s eyes were fixated on his chest and abdominals as his fingers traced the muscles.

“Are you ready?” He said low, noticing how Hyunsuk shivered. Jihoon got up to dig around in his suitcase to get everything needed while looking over his shoulder at Hyunsuk trying to slip his boxer briefs off. The actor noticed what looked to be a week-old tattoo on Hyunsuk’s left calf. When he approached the bed, he grabbed his leg. 

“Whoa! What is this sexy tattoo?!” He laughed giddily.

“Remember when I asked you about Gun Tower tattoos about a month ago?” Jihoon nodded. “I designed it myself. It’s a silhouette of you running with the tower in the background.” The detail of the background with the simplistic silhouette looked so cool.

“You get hotter and hotter every day..” He was right in between his legs, grinning like a madman. “All of your body is really hot. This and this… all of you.” Jihoon pointed out every part he could touch. The puzzled look on Hyunsuk's face was priceless as he touched his exposed body, now kissing and touching his legs along with moving along his torso. Licking and teasing his nipples, making Hyunsuk’s moans begin to hitch. His breathing was ragged. 

“This too..” He wrapped his hand around his cock languidly stroking him looking at him through his bangs down the length of his body. Hyunsuk tried to cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his moan, but Jihoon stopped him. 

“I wanna hear you.. You should be as loud as you want to be here…” He lubricated his erecting appendage while grazing his teeth and nipping near his navel, while his lover twitched below him. He used the excess lubricant to reach behind himself to prepare himself. It had been kind of a long time since he received. Jihoon was very picky about who he would allow to give himself to, and there weren't that many candidates in the past. He trusted Hyunsuk. His lips made it to the artist’s, where his tongue ring grazed behind his teeth and twined his tongue from the angle, making him moan more with the combination of the stretch and his skilled kissing.

Hyunsuk sat up when he pulled away, licking his bottom lip like looking for more before gripping him, becoming completely lost. His hand wrapped around his rigid arousal, squeezing and stroking him while returning the favor of worshiping his body with his lips. His tongue brushing over his navel like how Jihoon did to him before kissing along his abs, going down to his hip bone. His confidence started to shine through as he began to touch him. Hyunsuk got in a more comfortable position before slipping the head of his cock into his mouth catching the actor off guard.

He stopped preparing himself, bracing himself from the onslaught of sensations he was suddenly feeling. His former ‘girls only’ guy was really good at it. Shockingly good. He could tell he was really into it too, with a glance between his legs, seeing his testes drawn and liquid beading at the tip, standing tall and neglected. Along with the soft moaning around him, it made it harder for Jihoon.

“Hyung… feels good.” He praised.  He pulled back, not giving in fully, showing some restraint and sitting up fully. His lips were redder from the activity.  Running his tongue along the sensitive head, making Jihoon finally intervene, slipping down and away from his hold with a pleased sigh.  

“Sukkie hyung.” He breathily said like a songbird.

“Yeah?” The artist smiled at him, finally letting him go. He could see the anticipation in the other man’s face, along with his sleepy eyes. Jihoon climbed into his lap and positioned himself, lining up Hyunsuk’s cock to slowly enter him. The grip on his hips with Hyunsuk’s painted nails digging into his skin. He tried to relax, not to be way too tight.

He closed his eyes, adjusting to the fullness. Jihoon, after a moment, started moving slowly moving with Hyunsuk chasing behind, meeting his movement with thrusts. He continued to be surprised by his lover, feeling how he moved and held onto him. He wasn’t as rough as other men he’d been with like this. He could tell Hyunsuk’s only partner had been a woman. He couldn’t explain it, but it was the way each movement was hard but not rough. It felt really good, but not enough in the position they were in. He could see that Hyunsuk wanted more, too, by how he knitted his eyebrows together. He got off to flop on his side, pulling his lover's arm to have him sit up and take him.

“Come on, Sukkie.” He grinned. Hyunsuk breathily laughed, grabbing his thigh, wrapping his arm around it, giving in to what Jihoon wanted, slowly re-entering, still trying to suppress a moan. The tattoo artist might have been shorter than him and compact as a person in general, but he was explosively strong. The way he pulled Jihoon closer made the actor gasp.

“Feels good?” Hyunsuk asked, sighing before slowly pulling out halfway to thrust back in. Jihoon gripped the side of the bed, closing his eyes, just feeling. Nodding. He was hitting his prostate suddenly from a new angle. Hyunsuk reached down to touch him. Stroke in tandem with his thrusts.

“Ah- Hyung!” When he opened his eyes from a more than accurate thrust, making his stomach flip. He saw the expression on Hyunsuk’s face that almost made him cum. His eyes were so intense. The relaxed focus in his eyes like a hawk that had already caught a fish with ease. Still deeply focused but satisfied with its catch. He saw the artist push back his sweaty hair. 

“Fuck hyung!” He shivered.  He let go of his thigh, looping his arm around his waist to go deeper. Jihoon wrapped his arm around his shoulder to capture his lips quickly while he slowed down.

“I’m close..” Hyunsuk moaned. Jihoon felt pleasure shoot up his spine and a wave of intense sensation deep in his stomach. He was close, too, but not coherent enough to voice it. The feeling of Hyunsuk pumping with his seed filling him sent him over. He came heavily with a raspy moan and his irregular panting. Hyunsuk continued to be the perfect guy for him was what crossed his mind as he slowly started coming down from the adrenaline rush and pleasure. Hyunsuk flopped down, spooning him with a deep sigh, pressing his lips on the back of his shoulder. 

After a few minutes, Jihoon spoke up. “Sukkie hyung, ..hey, you’re so good in bed, explain yourself.” He laughed. When he didn’t get a response, he perked up. “Hyung?” He turned slightly in his arms to see the familiar expression of the man asleep. He turned back around, laughing to himself, realizing that maybe doing cardio after a long flight might not have been a thought-through idea.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Day one of their trip was just adjusting his body to the time difference and having sex with his actor boyfriend. This time with him on top. Hyunsuk never thought it was an option before Jihoon suggested it. Nor did he ever expect the actor to be so sexy in that position, too. Unfortunately, he was exhausted and his body gave in to sleep afterward.

Hyunsuk woke up again a couple of hours later, Luckily, he was cleaned up and not in the bed but in Jihoon’s lap and arms in the indoor hammock facing the waves. He looked up at the actor who had glasses, looking down at his phone.

“Oh, you’re up!” He smiled before kissing the top of his head.

“Bro… did I sleep all day?” Jihoon put his phone away, nuzzling him like a kid with a new puppy.

“Only for like two and a half hours… Are you hungry? The commons villa is just a short walk.” Hyunsuk sputtered before laughing because of how overtly affectionate the actor was being.

“What happened? Why are you being so cuddly, more than usual?” Hyunsuk took the glasses off his face, which made Jihoon dramatically cover his bare eyes with his hands.

“You’ve blinded me!”

Hyunsuk playfully slapped his shoulder. “We can eat, but we need to talk too.. We keep getting distracted. We need to find our focus.”

“Alright.. Well… I hate talking about it because I hate your dumb ex.. Does she not realize she made an enemy that can ruin every aspect of her life?” The actor loosened his hold to show him what he was looking at on his phone.

“I think she does and doesn’t care…” Hyunsuk rubbed his eyes, already getting what Jihoon meant by not even wanting to talk about it.

“So Junghwan told me to hire a hitman.” He laughed. Which made Hyunsuk whip his head around, looking at him, shocked.

“He was only joking… I hope.. but I already talked to my lawyer. The thing is, she’s so stupid. She recorded the evidence needed for stalking, along with breaching privacy. I can get her on slander, too, for lying.. Has she threatened you, Sukkie?” 

Hyunsuk thought for a minute, rubbing his temple. “Well yeah.. Saying she wanted us to die together like Romeo and Juliet… she sent me an incoherent poem over a year ago when I first moved. She knows I like poetry, so she sent me something like that.. That’s when I blocked her…”

“Woah.. Shit well if you have any log of that.” He could see the actor switching apps and making another note on Instagram. There was no reason to read what Jihoon was typing.

Hyunsuk sighed, “All of this is a mess.. I haven’t looked at any of my social media or anything.. I am scared of what people will think.. Or say about me..”

“I haven’t seen many negative things. People are mainly excited that I’m dating again, or you know, the general public saying the management team needs to wrangle me since I showed my middle finger to the camera. Dispatch is always saying I need to be wrangled and tamed. It’s funny.” He chuckled.

Hyunsuk pouted. “I don’t know…”

“Look, someone just called you breedable on Instagram, see! That’s positive!”

Someone had commented under the Indigo Ink official Instagram on one of Hyunsuk’s stories, showing him tattooing a client, grinning. The comment said, ‘I kind of see what Park Jihoon sees, the guy’s cute and breedable.’

“Report that comment.” Hyunsuk got up, stretching while Jihoon held his stomach laughing.

“All of this is happening all of a sudden. Are the planets sick with a retrograde or something?” Jihoon got up, looking amused at Hyunsuk, who wore his robe in such a chic way that it looked more like high fashion than something to lounge in after a bath.

“Retrograde?” Hyunsuk was perking up more when he realized he was stuck with this man for seven days.

“Yeah, I don’t know. Something my hairstylist said. Mercury poisoning or whatever.” He shrugged and approached Hyunsuk, wrapping his arm around his shoulder as they stepped out onto the path on the beach.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Three days into their trip, Hyunsuk was pretty sure he’d grown harder abs from both the sex he was having and just laughing at Jihoon. He was also growing more and more in love with the actor. During sunrise, they went on an island tour, and hearing Jihoon speak French was fascinating. The baobab trees, thick and tall, were almost alien to him when on their tour. His love of natural beauty and the wonders of the world made him want to climb the tree that touched the heavens. Hyunsuk was fascinated by the tree's thick trunk as he tried hugging it.

He heard the shutter sound from a phone, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Jihoon snapping photos of him. Hyunsuk smiled, pushing off the tree, pointing at him.

“Heeey, warn me first. Does it look okay?” He asked, going over to Jihoon to look at the photo. The tree trunk’s massiveness was nothing compared to how it looked right in front of him. He was so curious about the trees. He knew the guide told them the locals used the trees as water reservoirs since the trees trap water inside like a well. 

Right before lunch, they took canoes to the Lokobe Nature reserve to explore and see the lemurs that Jihoon talked so much about the night before. Hyunsuk wanted to be excited, he really did, because he wanted to see the fluffy lemurs too, but the snakes.. The geckos.. The crabs and spiders.

Jihoon was trekking through, humming a tune while Hyunsuk had a white knuckle grasp on the back of the actor’s shirt. A yelp and swear from him startled Hyunsuk so much that he yelled too. He saw Jihoon take his phone out to film something while he pressed his face into his sweaty back, refusing to look.

“Hyung! Hyung! Look!” He called in that excited raspy tone that came out when he was bursting with energy. Jihoon constantly loudly exclaiming and jerking wasn’t making him attempt to open his eyes. Hyunsuk shook his head.

“Hyung, seriously look! Look at the snake, it caught something!”

“Now I’m really not going to look!” The guide laughed at them in the distance. Suddenly, something fell from the tree above onto Jihoon, and he shrieked and laughed. Hyunsuk let go with a gasp, pretty sure he felt his heart stop for a couple of minutes. When he looked, the cutest lemur was sitting on his shoulder, resting its hand-like paws on his head. The guide said something to Jihoon in French, and he got quieter.

“Hyung, take a picture.” He whispered, handing the phone to him. He short-circuited for a second and quickly began snapping photos while Jihoon tried remaining still. The guide said something else, and Jihoon translated.

“I think this is a mouse lemur on me..” In the blink of an eye, it jumped off him and back into the trees. They continued on taking photos of all the wildlife and hiking. They were ready to head back once a ring-tailed lemur in the tree tops almost nailed them with its pee.

They went back to their bungalow to bathe and pick something to eat. Jihoon suggested seeing some of the urban life on the island, so they decided to go check out Ambataloaka. It kind of reminded Hyunsuk of home with all the business, but in a tropical setting. The people and architecture, everything was beautiful in Noisy Be. The little yellow taxi they rode in dropped them off, and they walked a bit to a place that sold local food instead of the tourist food they’d been eating for a while. 

Hyunsuk loved it. Lots of spicy seafood, where he probably overindulged. Jihoon ate the less spicy options, still amazed by him eating everything that was bright red with no indication of pain.  The actor was only recognized a couple of times, mainly by tourists who asked for autographs and photos. He gladly obliged every time with a smile. It was interesting to watch. Did he look that terrified but excited as some of the fans approached when he first met Jihoon? A couple of fans wanted him in the photos, too, so he shrugged and joined in. Everyone knew of him pretty much now, so he decided not to fight it. He loved Jihoon, he had to get used to this aspect of his stardom. He knew exactly what might happen when he started being this deeply involved.

They ended up finishing the day at the lime stone forest before sunset. Going across bridges with Hyunsuk, slowly getting comfortable facing the fear of being high up in the geological wonder.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

On day six, they were too much in their own world to realize they had one more day to get back to reality. Jihoon had seen a huge shift in Hyunsuk. He was less anxious, more bubbly, and outgoing. He could have sworn the man was an introvert when he first met him, but he talked more than he did every time they went into Nosy Be. He understood why people were drawn into long-winded conversations with how engaging he really was and his smile.

That rare smile he worked so hard to see was now commonplace. It was cliche to say, but his heart beat would thump uncontrollably every time he smiled. Even when he was scared, and Hyunsuk was the biggest scardy cat he’d ever witnessed. He woke up from a nap one day to a familiar scream and swearing from the tattoo artist, and when he ran out, Jihoon saw him holding a soccer ball he bought in the city with a pretty green chameleon walking slowly on it. As Hyunsuk lifted the ball gently, he started smiling in amazement.

“Oh, it’s changing colors, trying to blend, but it’s so green. Wow, look how pretty Hoon..”

Jihoon focused only on that smile. “Yeah, beautiful..”

They spent most of the day in the bungalow lazing around. Enjoying each other even in silence. Hyunsuk draped across him in the hammock swing, reading a book of contemporary poetry he brought with him. It was easy to fall asleep with the sound of the waves and the gentle back and forth of the swing. When Jihoon woke up from his brief nap, He realized he was alone. Hyunsuk probably went to either get something to eat or find something fun to do. Jihoon decided to take a moment to gauge his fans.

A lot of his movie and music fans said they missed him, and the halt on the movie was killing them. He decided to go live on Instagram, and right away, the viewer count started climbing.

“Oh wow! Hey everyone.. I miss you all too. Wait Ha! Does someone have me with that lemur as an icon?!”

There was a sudden flood of comments asking to see Hyunsuk, too. He was surprised. They talked about it two nights ago that Hyunsuk was okay with the fans getting only a small glimpse of their relationship now since the cat was out of the bag. He smiled, perking up when he heard Hyunsuk on the shoreline in the distance.

“Hyunsukkie? Well, everyone he’s enjoying the ocean right now.. kind of.” He flipped the camera around to Hyunsuk in the distance, trying to swim after his flip-flop. Jihoon flipped the camera back around. “He’s playing right now.” He laughed.

More floods of questions pertaining to his lover, and just some comments saying he looks cute. 

“We go home tomorrow, but I’ll miss it here.. This country's beautiful…” 

The shriek from Hyunsuk outside was distracting. Fans told him to go help. He smirked at the camera before flipping it again, and the stream got shaky as Jihoon ran.

“Ya! You’re being noisy, hyung!” he called out to him. Hyunsuk stopped treading water, froze, and smiled. 

“Huh?!” Hyunsuk called, pretending not to hear. “You should come closer.” Jihoon hesitated and set the phone down softly, apologizing to the stream. When he got closer, he said it again, but only half of his words got out before Hyunsuk tried grabbing him, knocking his feet from under him to make him fall in the water. Jihoon right away knew what he was trying to do and lifted him.

“Hey!” was the last thing yelled from Hyunsuk before he was thrown into the crystal clear water.

The actor ran out laughing, picking up his phone and backing up away from being chased by the drenched man.

“Are you filming?” He giggled.

“Livestreaming.” Hyunsuk froze with a shocked expression, but then smiled and waved.

“I originally planned to tackle you down and put sand in your trunks.” He said before taking back his flip-flop. He pushed his wet bangs from his eyes and decided to continue walking beside Jihoon instead of pursuing revenge. Hyunsuk peeked at the chat, his face appearing so curious and cute with every glance on the stream.

“Can you even read what everyone’s saying?” 

“No, I took my contacts out to go swimming.” He smiled sheepishly.

Jihoon snorted. “Everyone’s saying ‘Oppa, put your contacts in, you don’t want to strain your eyes.’” Jihoon did a high-pitched voice imitating the comment. The blonde blushed more.

“I might wanna swim more later though..” He was trying to contain his smile. The actor could tell Hyunsuk wasn’t exactly sure if he wanted to be liked this much by fans. He must have really expected the opposite.

“We’re getting a snack, then we’ll show you guys the beach.” The villa was only a couple of kilometers and Hyunsuk quickly went to the counter ordering a fried pancake called mofo anana.  The man was addicted to it, drenching it in the hot sauce they provided for it. He showed the stream.

“This man is addicted to capsaicin. There is hot sauce in his blood.” 

“Don’t tell them weird stuff about me.” Hyunsuk laughed. He shared with Hyunsuk, propping up the phone at the table. The wifi in the villa was shotty, but fans got to witness an impromptu mukbang between the two. He guessed it was a good way to slowly introduce Hyunsuk in a positive way that wasn’t laden with rumors and gossip. Something raw and honest, while they enjoyed their trip.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

The last day, Hyunsuk had an ever-looming cloud following him. He really enjoyed the trip, and he didn’t want to leave. He loved the little bubble they created in their bungalow, and he knew the separation anxiety after landing in Incheon was going to hit him directly in the heart. He began to pack slowly, wondering where Jihoon had run off to. 

“Hyung, look what I found!” He looked to see the actor carrying a large conch shell.

“Did you find that on the beach? Put it back. Remember what the guide said about the wildlife…” He smiled, tickled by Jihoon’s charming curiosity.

“I think it's just the shell.” Jihoon brought it up to his eyes to try to see inside.

“You think?” Hyunsuk zipped up his suitcase. “We should grab something to eat before we fly…” He suggested sitting on his suitcase.

“Your eyes look so sad, Sukkie, what’s wrong?”

“I just.. I hate responsibilities and I just wanna be frozen in time…” He wanted to elaborate more and say he wanted to be here forever with Jihoon, but he feared that might be too much to say.

“We can make it an annual thing…I love this country too and had loads of fun. I learned a lot more about you, too, and you're a funnier guy than I thought.” Jihoon laughed.

“What do you mean by that?” Hyunsuk smiled, happy to know that Jihoon found him funny.

“You fall a lot.”  The actor snickered, making Hyunsuk give him the stink eye. “It’s hilarious.”

“Sure, well, tripping on sand is going to have to wait a year.” Hyunsuk sighed. Jihoon suddenly roared with a scream straight from his chest, dropping the conch shell. The tattoo artist didn’t see what happened, so he threw himself on the bed.

“What?! What happened?!” Hyunsuk pressed himself closer to the headboard.

“That thing licked me!” Jihoon was sprawled on the ground after tripping over the bamboo chair.

“Get it out of here…”

Jihoon slowly crawled over to it, flinching before picking it up and running like he felt like how he ran in nightmares in the sand to sit it down and run back into the bungalow to peer at it.

“See, that was a learning moment. Listen to the guide..” He laughed at Jihoon's comically alarmed face. “We gotta go soon… come on.” The actor nodded as he was helped with his own packing by Hyunsuk. They finished up with enough time to spare to visit the villa one last time.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 

Twenty hours to Incheon with no layover. A marathon of a flight, and they managed to keep it together. They had their pods side by side, and Jihoon tried to be sneaky, wanting to cope a feel in the middle of the night, but Hyunsuk was too nervous to. He held his naughty hand, and they watched at least eight movies together. Mostly Hyunsuk's three favorites among them, starring him.

When those movies played, he really didn’t bother watching the screens, just watching his lover be immersed in his hobby of action stars and superheroes as he was wrapped up in his blanket.

Getting off, they braced themselves for what was to come. He told Hyunsuk to cover his face and wear something to shield his eyes before they got off. As soon as they got off, Jihoon’s security and assisting staff surrounded them in a bubble, bulldozing through the reporters and fans.

Something glass was thrown at the actor.

It happened so fast, and he got ushered away so fast that no one really reacted but him. Jihoon only saw a quick glimpse when he looked back at the sea of people and flashing lights. Bright fluorescent orange hair. He tried to turn, but security pushed him along. He was furious.

Her face, though. He didn’t understand. She stood there, her phone out too, as if she were a fan staring at him with no expression. Nothing at all. Her gray contacts pierced through him, and as if a flip switch, she began screaming his name too, and waving like a fan.

Jihoon blinked the blood from the cut dripping into his eyelashes.

Hyunsuk looked at him with concern as they were ushered into the back of a vehicle once outside.

Chapter Text

Hyunsuk's face didn't fully display how distressed he was. Their trip was so fun and peaceful…

As soon as they got back, Jihoon was attacked, and the actor swore it was Nuri. In the back of the car, Hyunsuk dabbed away the blood with napkins, holding back his tears when he saw just how angry Jihoon looked. Only a superficial cut, almost like a paper cut slice above his eyebrow. A nick was visible. He just needed a band-aid so it could heal. He was lucky it wasn’t anything that needed stitches.

“That’s assault too…” Jihoon suddenly said calmly.

“Describe her…. I didn’t see.” Hyunsuk squeezed Jihoon’s knee.
“Bright orange hair.. Small face.. Really small girl in general..when she suddenly smiled, I could see she had a piercing under her top lip..”

It was Nuri one hundred percent. She had a smiley piercing, probably his ex-best friend Gun gave it to her after he fled Daegu. Hyunsuk wondered what even happened to them for her to now be this obsessed with chasing him around Seoul.

“Jihoonie..” Hyunsuk rested his hand on his cheek, feeling sorry and guilty for all that was happening. The actor just nuzzled his hand, sighing. The man really reminded him of a sad puppy. He was pretty silent during the ride to his Cheongdam-dong home, a place he hadn’t been to yet. He was pretty sure the actor had five properties and was planning to sell one soon. The three are in Seoul, a beachfront in Busan, and a condo in Los Angeles. This one they pulled in front of was possibly the largest one he’d taken him to so far.

When the car came to a stop, Jihoon rolled down the window, looking around outside, going from forlorn to smirking like a new idea had popped into his head. The actor turned back to a confused Hyusuk, tilting his head back by lifting his chin up before sweetly kissing him.

It took his breath away, but he didn’t understand until he heard the sound of cameras outside the window. The artist gasped, almost pulling away, but Jihoon stopped him, mumbling close to his ear. 

“ Let them see….. Let her see.” Hyunsuk let out a shaky exhale before Jihoon captured his lips again. He wanted to be nervous about kissing in front of strangers like that, but Jihoon’s lips were buttery soft and warm. Playfully nipping his lips before tilting his head, tasting him. Warm and shallow as they moved together slowly before Jihoon pulled away with a smile. His eyes were still focused only on him. His lips were redder from making out. 

“That piercing..” He mumbled, not finishing the thought, and only laughing to himself before kissing the other man on the forehead. “Let’s go inside.”

He quickly rolled up the window and opened the door, ignoring the flashes as the driver stood near the trunk, handing them a couple of bags before taking a few himself. The older man looked amused.

One of the reporters taking photos finally asked something. “Jihoon, were you hit? Are you okay?”

 He squinted at the reporter before moving the luggage behind the stone entrance to the home. He looked back at the reporter with a smile.

“It was just an accident. I’m sure Hong Nuri-nim didn’t mean to. She’s going through a lot. Poor girl.” He waved to the reporters before closing the gate behind him. “Oh yeah! You guys better go watch Past Assassin! It’s coming out next Saturday!”  He waved through the black iron bars before going inside.

“Jihoon-ah… “ Hyunsuk felt some panic settle in.
“Hey..” He rested his hands on his shoulder. “Relax, babe. It’s a loophole. I looked into it. She can’t counter-sue since she has her full name on social media, and it’s public knowledge. I was vague enough not to be a problem.”

Hyunsuk frowned, shaking his head. “I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about the kissing.. What she’s going to do. What she might do to you since she’s possessive.. I-”

“Don’t worry about me. She won’t be able to do what she did again or try to hurt you or me.” He pulled him into an embrace. Hyunsuk took in the actor’s warm scent.

“Look, Sukrangie, my handsome, beautiful, cool, gorgeous, sexy-”

Hyunsuk cut him off, “Get to what you have to say.” He laughed.

“Until I have to leave for a couple of interviews in LA on Wednesday.. Stay with me. I don’t want you to be alone, not with her acting violently now.. I know the only way to really get the cops to do anything is if she harms you, but .. I don’t want you risking your safety for that.. Do you have appointments tomorrow?” Jihoon pushed back Hyunsuk’s messy hair, combing his fingers through it.

“Well, no.. I took a recovery day too, but I do go back on Wednesday when you leave…. I can stay with Asahi or Yoshi…”

“Please do that.”  

He nodded, understanding the actor’s worry for his safety. He wasn’t exactly scared of Nuri, but she was clearly at the highest hill of the mania rollercoaster she was riding. He didn’t want to be sucked further into that.

“She’ll be receiving a cease and desist from my legal backing.. It will either scare her or make her angry. Trust me, I’ve had stalkers since I was fourteen… So, I just want you to be safe.” He kissed him one last time before taking one of the bags at his feet.

“The day staff will be here in the morning.. If you want your laundry taken care of, they can do it for you tomorrow. Since you aren’t busy, how about the tattoo you promised me?” He grinned, carrying everything to the center of the foyer and taking off his shoes.

The request was so sudden that he didn’t expect it. “I’m finished with the final touches.. Do you want to see the design?” He quickly got his tablet before looking around the luxurious dwelling, with an older richness to it, before finding a comfortable seat. He unlocked and opened the drawing program to show Jihoon the tattoo. Still nervous about his reaction, unconsciously moving his lip ring with his teeth.

“Woah.. hyung this is so detailed…” He zoomed in to show him the intricate sleeping faces woven into the branches like masks. “Have you ever thought about actually selling paintings? This is crazy.”

Hyunsuk shrugged, “Sometimes, but someone like me running a gallery and having to hear critical nonsense from art snobs.” He laughed.

“I guess I can see what you mean by that. Tattooing gives you more freedom.”

Hyunsuk nodded before glancing at the actor before standing. He set down the tablet and slide his hand up the back of his loose fitting shirt. His warm hand touching his skin as if trying to imagine a picture on a canvas, as his eyelids became hooded.

“On this side, the tree with faces…” Hyunsuk’s other hand came up the other side of his back. “It’s a connected piece, so I’m going to work on it in a couple of sittings, but this side will have a poem.. In a misty constellation of stars.” He moved his hands up and down. Imagining it on his lover’s skin. He slowly tilted his head up so they were seeing eye to eye.

“Are you really letting me put this on you? Whatever I want? Even though we’ve only been together for such a short period of time?” He looked into Jihoon’s round eyes. He looked so young without any form of make-up. His moles littered his face prettily.

“I trust my instincts about you. I don’t know why, but I feel like… Like it’s a destiny thing. Right? Do you feel it too?”

Hyunsuk removed his hands to loop around Jihoon’s waist tighter, sucking in a breath and squeezing his eyes shut. He wanted to say just those three words. He felt his heartbeat increase in speed. He really wanted to, but he didn’t know why he was so afraid. It was what he really felt. It was only three words. Why was it so hard for him? He knew Jihoon wouldn’t reject his words.

“Yeah.” He felt a soft kiss to his cheek. The feeling of his smile made him ache more.

“Is it alright if I take a bath?”  Jihoon nodded, showing him to his bathroom.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Jihoon hummed while waiting for Hyunsuk to come down the parlor stairs, putting on his purple gloves with a snap.

“Jihoon, during this, you kind of know the drill, right? During a break, I’ll give you Samanco and some water. I don’t want you fainting, okay?”

“Sure thing, Oppa!” He said, imitating the fans again because he knew the blonde would blush. Jihoon grinned while peeling off his shirt. Screams from fans being blocked by security personnel outside were looking into the glass front of the parlor.

“Do you think you will be fine with an audience, hyung?” He lay down on the hydraulic bed.

“My mentor when I started tattooing used to breathe down my neck, so I think an audience is fine.” He smiled, which earned another squeal from outside, making his ears and face burn even redder. Everything they did excited the fans. 

He disinfected Jihoon’s back and got his ink trays ready. Hyunsuk prepared well when they came in, so he transferred the outline onto his back, and he began.

“How is it? Does it hurt?” He asked, the needle buzzing loudly.

“A little but nothing crazy..” Jihoon mumbled.

He worked in silence for a while until he spoke up. “You know that phone call I had this morning.. That really long one in the bathroom?” Jihoon grunted an affirmation.

“It was my eomma…” He was quiet for a while. “She cried. It was.. I don’t know..”

“What? Why was she so upset?” Hyunsuk never talked about her, but to be fair, he never spoke about his estranged family either, but he could tell the artist had been a bit off all morning. He even made gambas first thing when they got up for the artist, since it was his favorite. He ate it happily but was quiet when normally Hyunsuk was animated about his favorite foods, so Jihoon was confused. Now he understood.

“She saw us kissing. One of her coworkers showed her.” Hyunsuk sighed while changing ink trays. “She seemed more upset about my piercings.. And tattoos.. Every time I briefly saw her after moving out, I always covered up but…..”

He started tattooing again. “I told her I was currently in your home and she burst into tears, saying I’m a stranger to her and that I must not love her anymore.”

He became quiet again.

“...Hyung, you should go visit her.. Talk to her in a calmer setting. She’s just upset from suddenly being shown all that stuff about you, about us.”  Jihoon’s suggestion was mature and correct. He should actually talk to her. 
While taking a break, he got the snack he promised for his lover and some water, letting him eat, gingerly helping him sit up.

“You know you’re going to have to wait on me hand and foot once we’re done for the day.” Jihoon joked while chewing on the Bungeo-ppang ice cream.

“It’s just a tattoo, not spine surgery.” Hyunsuk laughed while peeling a banana for Jihoon and stealing the first bite before handing it to him. The actor interchangeably ate his snack while Hyunsuk grabbed his phone, thinking for a minute before standing.

“I’ll be back in a minute..” Jihoon looked at him with confused, large eyes before nodding while he climbed the stairs. The actor started interacting with some of the fans peering in the window still. When he winked or posed for them, they got louder. Something caught his eye, though. In the small sea of heads of various hair colors, he saw orange. He stopped chewing before looking up the stairs where Hyunsuk had left. He told him not to make sudden movements while his back still stung. When Jihoon looked back, the orange hair was gone.

Eventually, Hyunsuk came back down to continue. “Hoonie?” He said, getting his attention away from looking out the window. He quickly snapped out of it. “You okay?”

“I- yeah.” He decided not to tell Hyunsuk.  He didn’t want to freak him out or his anxiety to flare up. “How much longer do we have?”

“Mmmmm, probably an hour and a half.. Just the detailed lines.”

The actor nodded, getting back into his lying position. 

Jihoon was distracted as Hyunsuk talked about seeing the final teaser for Past Assassin. He was trying his best to engage, but he was drawn to what was going on outside. He was pretty sure she was out there somewhere.

“Your team sent me a long, crazy text, and it was only about my outfit for the premiere… It would be a lie to say I’m not excited to be with you there.” Jihoon smiled at him. It was the first time he talked about the premiere. When he told Hyunsuk that his PR team said he pretty much had to come and sign some non-disclosure agreements, he wasn’t sure if, technically, he contractually dating him on paper would make the other man uncomfortable.

He wasn’t a celebrity, but their relationship was one of the number one most talked-about things in entertainment at the moment around the world. The reactions were mixed. The younger generation was obsessed while older people were disgusted. It was the nature of a generational gap. Casual fans of Jihoon were indifferent, while mega fans were either jealous of Hyunsuk or were obsessed with him now, too. So many people wanted to know who this mysterious civilian was who snagged the actor. They knew he was in fan circles before. Some even dug up old tweets about crying over Gun Tower. Most found him relatable and endearing since they shared the same hobbies as him.

“All this seems fun now because I’m not filming, so enjoy this promo while it lasts… remember I’m going to be on a soundstage for months, also getting a tan in Nevada or some desert..” Jihoon sighed.

“I completely forgot… I guess I’ll find something to do to make time go by faster… We’ll just message each other like before.” He knew Hyunsuk was probably blushing cutely.

“Yeah, just like when we first met..” He remembered that time when Hyunsuk was adorably not exactly taking his hint while also flirting. It was frustrating. Maybe how they talked had changed since Madagascar.

Hyunsuk applied the aftercare product on his back before covering the tattoo, sealing it for healing and to avoid infection.

“My mother, that’s who I called again earlier. I’m going to Daegu Friday to eat lunch with her and talk.”

Jihoon helped clean up the station once everything was done. His back just felt tingly and slightly sore. He glanced over as the tattoo artist cleaned a smudge of ink that splashed on his arm.

“Well, I didn't expect it right away, but that's good.”

“Maybe things will be fine.” Jihoon noticed how lately Hyunsuk would vocalize positively; he figured it was part of his therapy or that he was just that cute. The actor nodded in agreement before ruffling his hair.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

It had only been four hours since Jihoon left for LA, and he already missed him severely. It was like all his stress came back suddenly, hitting him and irrational thoughts flooding in. Like when Jihoon is away, he’s going to realize he can do better than him when he's surrounded by his team and other celebrities, he’ll wake up. The insecurities nag at him. He wasn’t even in another country yet. He had to learn not to be so codependent. He’ll be fine, and that Jihoon wasn’t a bastard who would just dump him or cheat on him. Hyunsuk trusted him.

Jihoon told him to go to his homes when he wasn’t staying with Yoshi or Asahi, to mix up his routine to throw off Nuri or anyone else who might follow him. When he opened the door to leave Jihoon’s home once he got himself together after rolling around in the bed they shared the night before, depressed, he almost ran into the solid back of the biggest buffest man he’d ever seen.

“Oh Hyunsuk-nim, good morning. I was hired to escort you around.” His Korean wasn’t the best, but he looked like a club bouncer he’d seen in American movies.

“O-okay…”

“I’m here to keep you safe.” He nodded, reassuring him. “The car is outside, I’ll take you to work.” Hyunsuk was apprehensive, but he slung his messenger bag on his shoulder and followed the man who towered over him. He was pretty sure the man was 198cm. 

“May I know your name?” He tried in English. 

He smiled at him, perking up, “Malo, I worked with Jihoon before for two years now, so don’t worry too much.” Hyunsuk nodded. When he got into the luxury vehicle, he tried to relax. All of this was necessary. He understood why so much fanfare because it’s intimidating. It would be a lie if he said he wasn’t a little afraid of Nuri’s unpredictability.

When he arrived, only three fans he’d seen before waited outside.

“Hyunsuk oppa! Hyunsuk, I want a tattoo!” one of the girls ran up but was blocked by Malo. Hyunsuk looked at his watch, and it was nine in the morning. Did those girls wait all morning?

“I… I’m only taking online appointments, sorry. The wait list is a bit… long. I’m sorry.”He tried to sincerely smile and bow apologetically. The girls whined about it as he shuffled inside.

“Hyung, I saw the client list a couple of days ago, and while I appreciate the business, I’m not going to be able to take a break until next June. You and Yoshi get to run around with your celebrity boyfriends while I and Asahi have to take all the slack.” Haruto complained before pinching Hyunsuk’s nose when he approached. He swatted his hand away.

“Don’t take your frustrations out on me! Just sort through your client list and contact the ones you want to move around, and what do you mean Yoshi?” He glanced over at the now brighter-haired artist working on his client’s neck tattoo.

“You never check the group chat anymore. Yoshi bagged Kim Junkyu, and their scandalous photos rival you and Park Jihoon’s. It’s blurry photos of them entering hotels together. You and that guy are old news, hyung..” Haruto teased with a smirk, which in turn made Hyunsuk blush.

He looked over at Yoshi, realizing that his usually shy friend was acting bolder than him. Going to a hotel is exactly what it looks like, and he’d done that before too, during his time in California, but it seems like Junkyu isn’t the same sort of chaotic publicity stunt famous person like Jihoon was. They might have just been caught, but the pink-haired artist did not seem to be sad or sulking. He actually looked happy.

“Wow, damn, alright then. A lot happened while I was gone. Just choose your breaks when you want to go to Ruto. You can do that. It’s your money to earn, so do what you want.” He gave a half-shrug. Haruto must have felt like being dramatic because he missed his hyungs, not because he was really bitter. The commission percentage, Hyunsuk only took 25%, depending on what’s done. Piercings were only 15%, and it all went to the lease. They all bought their only needles and equipment needed, and Hyunsuk would spot his guys with whatever they needed if they asked.

“Ruto, are you and Dobby still living near Hongdae? In the studio?”

“Why do you ask, hyung?” Haruto crossed his arms.

“I need a place to stay for a while, You saw what Nuri did to Jihoon, right? I’m just asking since you live closer to the parlor, but I know your sister stays with you guys sometimes. I don’t want to overcrowd the place.”

The other artist looked taken aback. “What did Nuri do? I didn’t see.”

Hyunsuk took out his phone to show the footage online, and Haruto almost literally clutched his pearls.

“What the hell? Shit hyung. “

“Yeah, I’m- Jihoon’s really worried. I want to not walk around fearfully, but she’s so unpredictable, so I need a place to stay.”

“Sure, hyung, it won’t be exactly comfortable if all four of us are there, but I would ask Asahi first. Didn’t he offer to be roommates?”

“Yeah, it’s most likely the better choice..” Asahi just moved further out in condos in Saechang, closer to where his apartment was. 

While waiting for Asahi to come for his evening appointments, he did a couple of clients he got that morning, with fans periodically trying to peek in and see both Hyunsuk and Yoshi. All his clients were Jihoon fans. He felt awkward tattooing them because of how nervous they acted around him. He figured they made appointments during his time in Madagascar, all of them flooding the online appointment book to get a chance to meet him or in the hopes of meeting Jihoon, possibly too.

One girl coming in for a unicorn tattoo cried during it. Not because of pain, but being so overwhelmed from meeting him, according to her. He had to remind them he wasn’t famous at all. It was surreal, but it kind of felt good that people liked him so much.

By the time Asahi came to work, he was exhausted.

“Sahi-ya, my morning has been.. Weird. That’s Malo...” He gestured to the man eating his lunch. When he heard his name, he perked up, waving politely to Asahi, who awkwardly waved back.

“I need a place to stay for a while, Sahi, Yoshi’s too busy after work and probably won’t come back to his place tonight, and Ruto’s got his sister over.” He pleaded with his eyes.

“Hyung, I already told you that you’re welcome to my guest room anytime. Sure… is Malo staying too?” He asked, glancing at the Hawaiian bouncer Jihoon hired.

“Nope, Malo isn’t.. He’s just escorting me and keeping an eye out when I’m alone..”

“Okay... Stay as long as you need to, hyung.” Asahi said gently. The man really was a lifesaver.

“Okay, bro, Thanks.. Also, it’s probably only going to be two days, I’m going to visit my mother in Daegu… if it goes well, I’ll stay with her for a bit on Friday, then I fly out to LA.”

Asahi nodded. They had a set arrangement now.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Hyunsuk felt he might have overdone it when it came to his restaurant choice and what he was wearing. He got a couple of stares. He understood it, he would stare too, with the outfit he wore. An Expensive black blazer with a shimmery collar and slacks, along with the large Louis brooch, slicked back bleached hair with expensive Balenciaga sunglasses tucked into his blazer pocket, sitting and waiting for his mother in an Outback Steakhouse.

The place wasn't cheap, but this wasn't a place that Jihoon arranged or an event that required him to dress so… over the top. It was just a late lunch at a steak chain with his eomma.

He was nervous, but he didn't do what he usually did when he was anxious, like drinking cocktails like water. He had some control of himself this time, even though he was bouncing his leg like crazy.

When she finally came in dressed nicely like she always did with her hair styled in pretty brown curls, he smiled. Hyunsuk still adored her, but he just felt he didn't deserve her. Like he hadn't earned her as a mother.

She froze before approaching, and he smiled and stood up to pull out the chair for her. In turn, this action made her visibly relax. 

“Have you been well, angel?” her normal endearment, she used to use, made him straighten up his back, surprised.

“I’m.. better.” He knew it sounded weird.

“Better?” He could see her eyes landing on his piercings and tattoos she could see in almost a rotation. She would try to look him in the eye as he sat down, but Hyunsuk could feel her glance and quickly look him in the eyes again. He could really tell when she kept glancing at his anti-eyebrow piercing.

“I… I was going through a lot.. I’m still kind of going through a lot eomma..” He took a deep breath. “It’s nothing you ever did, you’re a great eomma, but I haven’t been taking care of myself properly or communicating with you properly either.” 

She looked at him unblinking for a long time before a waiter came over to take their orders, briefly distracting them from the conversation at hand. The waiter looked excitedly at him. Everyone he’d run into lately had been like that. Some of the people probably felt he was an influencer or famous, but were too nervous to ask since they weren’t sure. The waiter had that exact energy as he reluctantly left with their order.

“...Hyunsuk, did you do that rapping thing you said you wanted to? Is that why you kissed that actor?” She asked in the most innocent way, which made him turn cherry red.

“I’m.. No, I don’t have a music career, I’m only known now because of him… I’m still doing art and designing tattoos.. I know you didn’t get it before, but I run my own business now… and well.” He took a sip of his water. “Park Jihoon was a client of my employee, that’s how we met, and we started dating…”

It was her shocked, unblinking eyes again. “Is…You’re telling me you're serious about being with a man?” She whispered. All of it was entirely too painful and made his skin tingle in a bad way.

“I’m very serious…. Nuri exposed me with Jihoon, and that's why… the news cycle keeps showing that. I’m in the middle of a legal thing with Nuri right now too…”

“Nuri? I talked to her not too long ago when she asked me where you ran off to. She wanted to talk to you… I didn’t exactly care for her or you being with her since she gave me a bad feeling about her, but you seemed in love with her, so hearing that you’re in a legal situation with Nuri… I thought you wanted to marry her. Remember you told me that?”

He remembered it very much. His eomma told him not to rush and that it was just young puppy love. That Nuri was pretty, but to possibly find a more ‘normal’ girl. He always assumed it was because of his ex’s fashion sense that was loud that made his mother uneasy, but she probably sensed something off about her that he didn’t see, and she didn’t want to meddle. Now he wished he had paid closer attention. 

Hyunsuk didn’t know exactly how he should go on talking about the stalking situation since he knew she would feel guilty since she told her where he currently lived.

“I should have listened.. She thinks she owns me, eomma.. And she recently hurt Jihoon. It’s pretty bad, that’s why I have a foreign guard just hanging out nearby until we are done eating.”

“Is it because you’re with a man now?” She asked curiously.

“Eomma, I don’t think that’s her main focus… it sounds more like it bothers you subconsciously.. Does it?” He twisted the ring on his finger.

“It doesn’t bother me much, just, I’m not really used to it…. I just never thought that was an interest for you, but what do I know? I barely know my son… It isn’t you or what you're doing in life, Hyunsuk. I just feel like a failure as a mother because I let you drift from me, so that you don’t feel comfortable enough with me to tell me all these things.” Hyunsuk could feel the stress rolling off her, and he did feel really bad about keeping everything from her.

“It’s not your fault. You did a great job raising me.” He said gently. She got teary-eyed but didn’t shed any tears. Just nodding as if trying to convince herself of his words.

“I’ve had problems before you even adopted me and… I feel like you had no way of knowing about it or would even know what to do… no one did. I see a therapist now to understand it, and I’m still learning to cope with just being me, eomma.” Their steaks were placed in front of them, and the waiter told them to enjoy.

He didn’t want to cry into a sizzling piece of meat, but he was close to doing so.

“I'm glad you're talking about it, angel.” 

Hyunsuk nodded. “I didn’t mean to shut you out. I felt like a bad son. I want us to have a normal relationship.”

“You know my door is always open to you. You’re my precious baby, and I would never want anything to happen to you. You can always come back home if you need to.” She reached across the table, grabbing his hand, giving a reassuring squeeze.

He was shocked. The artist didn’t know why, but he didn’t expect her to be like that, and still welcome him with open arms. He feared that if he spoke, he would actually cry. Hyunsuk smiled.

Baby steps.

He nodded and she gave one more squeeze before starting to eat. He told her about the little things he did in his life. The trips he took with Jihoon so far and his future trips. His hoarding disorder diagnosis and how he is still fighting through it. Everything, and she was understanding. Wanting to help Hyunsuk.  Picking up where they used to be before he was thirteen.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

“Hyunsuk, are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you, or do you want me to wait in the lot?” Malo looked around just to be on the safe side as they ascended the stairs.

Hyunsuk took his sunglasses off right when he got to the door. “Nah, I’m good. Just finding the suit I’m wearing to the premiere.” He smiled at the guard who had been his protector the past couple of days. He wrapped up his lunch on a good note with his mother and took the train back so he could pack for LA.

When he opened the door, Malo reluctantly went down the stairs. He could run right to his room in the spacious apartment. There were still some boxes scattered here and there, but it was organized chaos for now. Hyunsuk’s bedroom was more like a glorified closet for now, with racks of clothing like a department store, but it was neat and tidy.

He’d been so busy that he realized he needed to get back into decluttering. His phone suddenly started buzzing, and he picked it up right away when he saw it was Jihoon.

“Hoonie? It’s late there…”

“I was worried when Malo messaged me that you went to your apartment alone.. Are you okay?” He froze in surprise.

“I’m fine, Jihoon, it’s just my apartment..” Hyunsuk sighed.

“You can never be too careful, you know.. I don’t trust Nuri.”

“I know you don’t, but I’m not a little girl either, I’m an adult man.. I’ll be fine.” His voice unintentionally had a bit of bite to it.

“I never said you were a girl, hyung. I’m just worried about your well-being… Are you alright?” He had a small bit of bite back at him.

“I’m perfectly fine bro, I just wish you wouldn’t do that so much.. I’m not helpless. I appreciate having Malo, but I don’t feel it’s necessary. I know you sent him because you’re worried, but don’t Jihoon. I promise I’m fine, okay. Just focus on resting. I fly out tomorrow. That’s why I’m in here, and I just don’t like strangers in my home. Nothing big.” He found what he wanted to wear, taking it off the rack.

There was silence before a deep sigh. “Just be careful.. Please?”

He held his hand on the door handle. “It’s fine. Nothing’s happened. Goodnight Jihoonie..”

“Rest well,”  the actor replied before hanging up. Hyunsuk felt some guilt for being so snappy, but he hated the overprotectiveness. He knew Jihoon meant well, but he felt weak. He guessed it was the insecurities creeping in again, and Jihoon not escalating his mood, he figured the man sensed it too.

When he yanked open the door, he was caught off guard by being shoved by two people. It happened in such a blur of him struggling and being knocked back into the apartment. He was slammed into a nearby wall where his assailant held him by the throat, leaning into him, attempting to kiss his shocked face as he fought back. The faint sound of a phone shutter near the door snapped him from his shock as he wiggled out of his attacker’s grasp, picking up a plastic shoebox and hitting the attacker in the face with it. 

When Hyunsuk got enough room to move, he began punching the man accurately, now catching the other man off guard by his sudden, hard hits.

Now that he could clearly see who it was that stumbled back on the floor, he got even more worked up. It was the man from Glass struggling to get back up from the scuffle. Hyunsuk wouldn’t let him knock him back down with his foot on the guy’s chest.

“How did you find my home! What the fuck!” He yelled. 

The man smiled up at him through his bloody teeth before glancing at the door as it opened and quickly closed. Hyunsuk let go of the bartender and ran after whoever had just left. He just saw a tall male figure in a jumpsuit set running down the stairs. 

“Malo!” He yelled, and he turned back to the apartment to see the man struggling to stand. Hyunsuk grabbed him by the front of his shirt, reeling his fist back. Right when Malo hurried in.

“That bitch boy actor you were moaning about like a pathetic whore, you might as well kiss the thing you had goodbye.” He laughed at the wide-eyed expression on his face.

Malo stepped in, grappling Don before turning him over to restrain him while waiting for the authorities.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Two hours after the authorities arrived, news began to spread.

The first headline of Naver Entertainment news read. ‘ Tattoo Artist and Influencer Boyfriend Choi Hyunsuk Cheats on Actor Park Jihoon in Messy Apartment’

Several discussions began to appear in the comment section, sparking speculations and debates.

Chapter Text

Jihoon was comparable to a boiling metal pot of water. Borderline homicidal. The rational part of his brain knew it was all fake. A set up. He recognized Hyunsuk in the blurry photos. He recognized Don, too.

The pig was grinning in the first photo, and Hyunsuk looked extremely confused and startled. Only a moron would believe it was a legit photo proof of cheating but some people believed everything as fact because a headline said so. It happened to him often.

It’s why sometimes it was hard to trust the fans when he loved his fans like family.

People are fickle and go with whatever and move and change like the seasons do. Going from love and admiration to hating your guts to apologizing and loving again to hating and rinsing and repeating over and over.

It was quickly turning into a PR nightmare for his team, and his agent screamed at him first thing in the morning to break up with him. It wasn’t viable for the movie to stay with him. He hung up on her after shouting back and forth with her, his feelings hurt because she didn’t understand or know his real love for Hyunsuk.

The press tour went on since the red carpet interviews began that night, and the non-stop interviews began first thing in the morning. Despite his interview questions, pre-selections, and approval, the more rude interviewers still asked about the scandal. Ironically, Jihoon couldn’t act to save his life when it came to Choi Hyunsuk. He bluntly said, ‘It’s blackmail, next question.’ No cheeky smile. No mischief. Just anger hotter than a red coal.

When he got out of one of the last interviews with his castmates, he heard the news of Hyunsuk’s arrival from half of his team of guards, and he nearly ran to the elevator when he got back to the Marmont a couple of hours later.
 
His power walk turned into a jog. When he opened the door to the penthouse, he threw off his shoes and found Hyunsuk in the bedroom with the stylist taking a break from making adjustments to the red carpet suit. Hyunsuk was curled up in a corner chair, hugging one of the pillows from the bed, only in basketball shorts, resting with his puffy eyes closed. He looked exhausted.

“Sukkie.” He pulled him out of the chair, squeezing. He gave the stylist a look, wanting to be alone.  She took the pins from her mouth and stopped hemming the pants to leave the room.

“Jihoon?” He gasped. “I’m sorry. I know I say that a lot, but what do I say? What should I do? I didn’t cheat, I would never do that! When you warned me about that club, I never went back, so I don’t know how or why he would come and find me.”

“Hey, it's okay!” He gently shook him to stop him from panicking.

“It’s not, though, man! Did you not see?! Everyone’s talking about it!  I keep getting notifications of canceled client appointments! My eomma called in a panic when I was boarding my plane! My friends are worried, everyone! Am I going to be able to even do any of this tonight?!” Hyunsuk’s voice cracked, broken, and stressed. 

“Sukkie, who cares what any of those people think! I know you didn’t cheat! I know you wouldn’t okay?!”  

The other man quieted down.  Jihoon realized Hyunsuk’s buzzed hair when he took the cap off Hyunsuk’s head to get a better look at his face, since the brim was hiding him.

“This isn’t the end of the world.”

 He touched the short hairs. 

“I like your haircut.” He complimented.

“No, you don’t..”

“I do. You look like a golden kiwi. Did you do it on your own?”  Sometimes he had to talk Hyunsuk through things to calm him down since he tended to hold everything in until he really exploded. Jihoon learned that’s how he should talk to him.

“I had my son do it.” The way Hyunsuk said it made him giggle. He’d talked about his hairstylist friend he grew up with. He’d gush about how adorable his ‘Dobby ’ was, and sometimes call him his son playfully.

“Before you flew out? You just told him to cut it all off? I know you said you didn’t want bangs anymore.”

“I didn’t want any of it. I feel a little better..” The way the tattoo artist was pouting, he looked like a disgruntled seed-eating chick.

“Hey, at least it was that instead of buying things right?” Hyunsuk got really quiet. He was wrong. 

“What did you buy Sukkie?” Jihoon rubbed the fuzzy nape of his neck.

“Security cameras… baby monitors, some alarm systems.” Not just one but several. He really relapsed.

“Can you return any of it?” 

“Yeah, I can.”

Jihoon didn’t push further. “Malo took photos and sent them to me and the PR team. Don’s fucked up face. You really beat him up. It stopped me from buying a ticket to fly back to Seoul when I saw how you bashed his face in. Are you a boxer?”

“I don’t normally like violence.. Unless it's in a movie or something but I got into a lot of fist fights.. My friends and I used to fight each other and take bets, I was a stupid kid, so I’ve always known how to defend myself.. That wasn’t the first time I had to fight that dick.” Hyunsuk turned his face away. Jihoon didn’t exactly understand but he knew that Don was a huge piece of shit.

When he turned twenty, Jihoon, while exploring his sexuality, frequented the clubs in Jongno, and Glass was one of them. He went to that club a lot until the ownership changed and loan sharks bought the place, hiring their friends to run it. Don being one of them. The whispers about Don being kind of a predator spread, and he stopped going to that place. He stopped partying amongst the public in general once his career really took off.

Jihoon's phone suddenly began to buzz. When he saw that it was his agent, he quickly showed Hyunsuk before taking it.

“Yes?”

“Jihoon…. I apologize for yesterday. I didn't understand the weight of the situation, and I quickly jumped to assumptions… I know you said Hyunsuk wasn't a troublemaker but with scandal after scandal.. I am just looking out for your progression in Hollywood.” She sighed.

“Did you sleep on it after the crazy fit you threw, noona?” He snarked, watching Hyunsuk digging around his bag for something. The botanical wings of indigos faced him.

She ignored his sarcastic tone. “We sent the photos of what happened to several news publications. The assaulter gave up who paid him to do it, and the photo taker was found, and he told the truth too. With a little incentive to give up the rest of the photo he had of the attack, and pictures he had taken from following him around the city were sent in too.” Jihoon could hear her flipping through papers on the other line.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Jihoon stood still from his pacing.

“The attack was planned by another person. The assailants, Don and Xue, were paid by someone.”

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Nuri was running out of time. Running out of funds. She bit off one of her press-on nails from stress as she scrolled frantically, pissed off and felt as if a demon, a devil had stolen the one person who made everything right for her. Snatched up right away only because he had money and status.

She could whore herself to Hollywood too just like him, she was pretty enough. She could manipulate a crowd, but she didn’t crave the attention of multiple people. Only Hyunsuk.

One mistake, one lapse in her self-control, and Hyunsuk caught her satiating her needs. She didn’t want him to see. It was a simple mistake, but Nuri took care of the mistake a year ago.

She can focus on taking, stealing Hyunsuk back by any means necessary.

He’d deleted every trace of her from his social media. She dug through every corner of the internet, but somehow, when he became a public figure, people who hated him and the relationship dug up photos of her and Hyunsuk together.

Comments reading, ‘how is this guy bagging such pretty people’, and so forth. Haters were strange. They obsessed over the people they claimed to hate. Those nerds loved her, Hyunsuk, if they didn’t, why keep a photo of him and her? Too bad since she loved him more than anyone ever would.

“Hey, your laptop light is keeping me up.. Can you either use it outside the room in the commons or call it a night?” The girl attempting to sleep in the hostel room they shared, spoke up trying to stay polite.

She turned to the other woman and stared at her. “Do you want to die?” Nuri asked plainly.

“What?”

“I’m not repeating myself. Because if you value your life, you would have listened the first time. Deal with the light bitch.”  She turned back to scroll through comments, ignoring the scoffing and complaining from the other woman.

A comment caught her eye, buried under some of the new ones.

‘Had no clue that this loser had a girlfriend. I fucked him before he started getting with that actor. The guy’s a weirdo.’

It had to be a lie. She checked the account, seeing it was linked to an Instagram account of a bartender in Jogno. A Handsome guy with a neck tattoo. The bar wasn’t too far from the parlor. Her fingernail snapped between her teeth.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Glitz and glam. Flashing lights and expensive cars, and limousines. Hyunsuk held his breath.

“You have to breathe.” Jihoon smiled at him. “Once we are on the carpet, just pose and look like the hottie you are. Leave the questions to me, and you’ll be fine. Everything outside the premiere doesn’t matter.” He smiled, leaning in closer affectionately,y squeezing his shoulder.

Hyunsuk just hoped he didn’t fall on his face getting out. He didn’t have a good track record when it came to remaining on his feet. He didn’t know if his body’s equilibrium was permanently off since birth or if it was his feet or legs, but he was really clumsy, and the designer decided to put him in heeled boots and wide bushido-style pants. Handsomely elegant with some edge, but Hyunsuk wanted his legs to work with the outfit.

Getting out of their limousine, He just listened to orders from all the staff wrangling the celebrities that showed up. He was walking well, but that was mainly because he was being pulled around like a ragdoll as he was touched up with makeup and his clothing straightened out. Jihoon was already walking out in front of the lined-up photographers as he posed with ease as they shouted for him to look at them.

A swan in water. Beautiful.
Jihoon turned his head, smiling at him. It made his heart jump like he was being noticed for the first time again. Like his brain in that moment didn’t remember that they were together and not their first meeting. He gestured for him to come.

Hyunsuk pointed at himself like, ‘me?’ as if he wasn’t sure he was gesturing to him. Jihoon nodded with a laugh.  He rolled his shoulders, taking a deep breath before making cool strides to stand beside Jihoon. The boots made him height than Jihoon’s level, and it made him puff up a little. 

When the photographers called his name, too, he pulled out his secret weapon, his smile. According to Jihoon’s agent on the phone, she said it was truly his best feature, so uses it a lot to sway people from the headlines. He wasn’t sure if stuff like that truly worked, but he was giving it a shot. Their outfits, smiles, and body language, a perfect distraction from any contradicting headlines.

Jihoon’s arm found its favorite place around his waist as they finished walking down the carpet. Hyunsuk had to keep from freezing and flinching at seeing every celebrity up close.

People he’d seen in some of his favorite films and a couple of his favorite singers and rappers were walking around and mingling. Jihoon was anchoring him well.

His smile was automatic as he was constantly approached. Some must have assumed he didn’t speak English because of his delayed reply. He was pretty fluent. He was just internally losing it.

“How are you feeling?” Hyunsuk felt Jihoon’s lips at the shell of his ear. The warmth from his breath spread through his body instantly. Now wasn’t the time to get riled up like a teenage boy.

“I’m going to piss myself if I don’t find a bathroom soon.” He said unexpectedly. Jihoon gasped at first, then burst into a laugh so loud it turned some heads.

“Hey, okay, can you wait after some of the interviews? I need to make two more.” He squeezed his waist like a belt more firmly. Hyunsuk nodded. He really didn’t have to piss it just was too much and that was the first thing his lips could come up with.

The Korean entertainment outlet did ask him a couple of questions since they knew for a fact he spoke the language. Mostly things about what he was excited to see in the movie, and to explain his outfit, which he loved to talk about. He could feel Jihoon staring and smiling at him while he talked. It was a reflex when he gently smacked his chest, feeling shy from Jihoon’s eyes. The interviewer laughed in good nature as the questions continued.

When they were done, it was still thirty-five minutes until they went in to view the film. Jihoon escorted him to the restroom.

“Do you still have to use the urinal?” Jihoon laughed.

“No I never really did, I just needed a minute to collect myself, but I felt fine after a while, so..”

Jihoon pulled him closer, grabbing his wrist, making him stumble into him. “It’s because you’re a natural at all of this, even though you don’t think so.” The hooded eyes went from soft puppy to bird of prey again in that familiar way that makes him shiver.

“What is it?” He mumbled, closing his eyes when lips brushed his jaw. They shouldn’t be necking in the bathroom, his control was slowly slipping.

“God.. Shit is half a week away really that much?” Jihoon’s question didn’t want an answer. He was just like him, and he felt drawn in.  Every time it's a late-night Hollywood event now, with him and jetlag seemed to be the perfect aphrodisiac because he wanted to rip off Jihoon’s clothes badly.

They had a movie to watch. Hyunsuk turned the actor's face to his, stopping him from inhaling his neck to gently press their lips together in a warm kiss. 

“Aye.. after.” He smiled. Jihoon still looked hazy but smiled back, too.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Jihoon couldn't care less about viewing the film. He felt that way about all the films he had been in lately. He wanted it over with, and he wanted Hyunsuk’s perfect body against his.

He had a job to do, though.

Standing in front of the crowd who came to view the film with his honey smiling so gently at him from his seat, he kept his words brief, doing his usual dialogue to convey that he was happy that the thing they worked on for months was now a finished product.

He handed the mic back to the director as he and his co-stars took their seats, and the lights dimmed all the way as the movie began. He draped his arm behind Hyunsuk’s seat as the beginning scene of his character ‘Tui’ was released from an ice tomb. He wasn’t watching the movie or the story. He was critiquing his performance. Zeroed in on every word he spoke, every emotion he conveyed, and how realistic his fight choreography was. He hated his performance in this and looked away twenty minutes in, looking at his enamoured lover.

He could see the film reflecting in Hyunsuk’s eyes, shimmering brightly as he watched with his fists balled in his lap like he wanted to jump through the screen and help Tui fight off enemies. Jihoon saw the tears well up in his beau’s eyes when Tui sacrificed himself for the love interest, Chelsea, gasping when he let go of her hand on a cliffside.

Hyunsuk was adorable, and it fascinated him how he just took it all in while he was cringing at himself and feeling like he put on a terrible performance because he and his co-star had absolutely no chemistry, but the rest of the faces in the room believed the ‘romance’ and Hyunsuk was moved. That’s all he honestly cared about. He watched his lower lip cutely tremble as the scene went on for too long.

The starlet who played Chelsea, who sat beside him with her spouse, handed him a tissue to give to his Sukkie, thanking her before dabbing at his eyes as he sniffled. His nose was red again.

Jihoon was completely in disbelief at how moved he was. Maybe because the movies they watched on the plane from Madagascar, Hyunsuk had seen millions of times. This was his first time seeing this film and he really was sucked in.

He thought back on him talking about his first time seeing Gun Tower alone at his lowest point. He wished he could have seen it with him. Him crying and sitting alone, and taking it all in. He really seemed to appreciate this form of storytelling so much. It made Jihoon actually watch the last thirty minutes of the film. Remove himself from the job aspect, and what and how he shot it.  The movie is a story by itself without the technicalities.

It was a pretty good story.

Once the lights came on, it was like Hyunsuk realized where he was and his eyes connected with Jihoon’s.

“Your eyelids are puffy.” He pointed at them, laughing.

“No, they’re not.” He laughed.

“You cried a lot.” He rubbed the prickly hairs at the back of his head.

“Mmm.. I loved it. I wanna watch it again.” 

“Yeah? Was it better than your favorite movie?” He teased.

“Don’t make me choose,” Hyunsuk mumbled before they prepared to wrap up.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

After the after-party, they went straight to the Marmont, and Hyunsuk’s hands itched to read the headlines, but he behaved and listened to Jihoon, who told him none of the public’s opinion mattered. It really didn’t.

He showered and read movie speculations from other people while Jihoon talked to his agent again. The conversation that he barely heard down the stairs seemed intense. When he came back up with a huff, peeling his blazer off.

“Was the phone call bad again?” Hyunsuk set his phone down.

“She wants you to do some variety shows…”

“...Ah?” Hyunsuk couldn’t articulate anything because he was dumbfounded.

“I’d be with you, of course, but it’s a waste of time. She wants to get you into media training classes, but you don’t wanna do stuff like that, right?”

“Not really… but if it will make people.. I don’t know, like me more?”

Hyunsuk’s puffy eyes from crying during the film went down, but he still had charmingly sad eyes. He’s been looking like that since landing in LA, and he wanted his perked up bubbly guy back.

“Sukkie hyung, you and I both know people decide what they already perceive you as.. Look. For the most part, the general public does like you, and clearing up everything with how Nuri hired Don and Xue just strengthened the mindset of the fans who knew all along and believed in my decision to be with you. They believe you, too. Even if they didn’t hyung, it doesn’t change the fact that you never lied to anyone. Now stop thinking so hard and take a shower with me.” He stepped into the attached bathroom suite.

“Hey- Hoonie, I just showered.” His actions were contrary to his words as he stood up, hooking his thumb in his LV pajama shorts.

“Well, come take another one, I wanna see you naked.” The look in the actor's eyes already undressed him. “Come here.”

Hyunsuk knew that Jihoon wanted him since they were put in their premiere outfits. At the after party, the whole time while mingling and getting a slight buzz from the champagne, he felt the actor’s slight hardness press against his backside while his arm was wrapped around him possessively. He stood still, not reacting, while other drunk celebrities laughed and talked around them. Jihoon was pretty quiet, but he smiled so innocently when he looked over his shoulder. He whispered in the actor’s ear to wait until they got back, and here they were. He couldn’t chicken out of it. Especially since he waited so nicely and patiently endured a stiffy for a while when it was probably on his mind the whole time. Hyunsuk got a bit of a thrill, too.

A part of him wanted to just escape Korea permanently and live in a lover's bliss because every time they left the country, it was problem-free and fun for him.

He approached him, body to body, where they met in the middle with no tension or resistance as they let their raw desires push through. His warm lips pulled him in. Drawing in his tongue, massaging over the barbell pierced through it like he loved. It always riled him up more because he knew how the piercing felt in other places.

He pulled back smiling, no longer being a tease as he slipped off his mismatch pajamas he just threw in his suitcase, his Kaws t-shirt, and LV shorts sliding off with ease. Not bothering to wear any underwear, and swung open the glass shower door, stepping into the slightly humid, from his earlier shower. 

It was funny to watch through the glass as Jihoon comically took off every piece of his suit with speed. He pressed his forehead to the glass to watch, and he burst into laughter when he heard Jihoon swear and some of his jewelry clatter to the tiled floor.

He could see his other friend through the glass, standing intimidatingly tall. He held the handle closed.

“Sukkie, open up!” Jihoon laughed while fighting to open the door.

“Make your dick smaller and I’ll let you in. It looks like an escrima stick. I feel threatened.” He said through fits of laughter.

“What?!” Jihoon laughed louder like a hyena. “Let me in! You can’t be a hypocrite! Yours is waving at me! Let me in or I’ll get a screwdriver and remove the door!”

“That's insane!” The image of Jihoon with power tools naked removing the door briefly crossed his mind giving the other man ample amount of time to pull the door from his grasp and an arm wrapped around him almost picking him up as he pressed him against the opposite wall, latching himself to his neck to leave bites and kisses.

“Your foreplay is weird,” Jihoon commented while taking a hold of his cock stroking him, in turn he moaned rather loudly. “You suddenly got this hard? What were you thinking about a minute ago?” He smiled at the expression on Hyunsuk’s face as he gripped his bicep.

“About you removing the door with a power drill naked… Don’t judge me.” He let out a disappointed groan when Jihoon let him go.

“I'm not going to judge you for finding me sexy. Thanks, handsome.” He turned Hyunsuk around so he had to lean forward against a part of the glass as Jihoon turned on the water, then knelt behind him. He had no clue what was going on until he felt himself being spread open and something hot and wet pressed against his hole. He gasped, caught off guard. 

When Jihoon probed him with his tongue he crumpled forward with a mewl, the feeling shooting up his back to his brainstem as his cock stiffened more and he felt gravity pull up hot in his lower stomach and pelvis as he suddenly came, painting the glass in front of him.

He let out a startled and shuddering breath. Jihoon pulled back to see what the commotion in front was about.

“Ah- Hyung? Why are you so sensitive back here now?” He touched the area with his fingers, making the other man tremble. “You’ve been playing with this without me?” 

“...Yeah… because I miss you a lot..” He said honestly, making the actor speechless. He felt bold. Brave and horny. 

He took a deep breath as he turned, facing Jihoon while proping his foot on the corner ledge that held the shampoos and soaps. Silently, a message passed through them with just their eyes. He grabbed the little plastic twist-off top with lubricant Jihoon brought inside, avoiding the spray of the water as he leaned back and showed Jihoon how much he wanted him by sinking a glistening ,coated finger inside himself.

The leg supporting himself was trembling as he nearly bit his own tongue with a moan.

“When you left me at your place… we didn’t fool around since you had a flight and I really wanted to, but didn’t know how to ask you. I regretted it, Hoonie..” He confessed.

“I fantasized too.. It’s kind of been a seriously long time since I had dreams about you…” He began stretching himself. “I’ve been going crazy, man… You have no idea… I did a good job not jumping on you in the bathroom tonight.” He smirked at Jihoon, who gaped up at him like a goldfish. His eyes were large and owlish.

He’d been so unsure and worried he’d do something wrong during sex with Jihoon, but they’ve done it so much now, He didn’t want to play coy. He wasn’t fragile, and neither was Jihoon. Their coitus time in Madagascar proved it.

“Jihoon-ah…” 

The actor stood, never breaking eye contact as he groped Hyunsuk under his lifted thigh. The artist’s refractory period speedy as he stretched himself, eyes on him with the haze of lust and something else shimmering in his blown pupils.

“Really..  Crazy..” Any other time he’d seen Hyunsuk pretty unsure. This was different. “What’s gotten into you?”

“It’s You… You've gotten into me. I've told you before that having sex felt the best it's ever been for me. I enjoy sex a lot, but I feel like you did something.. I don’t know what you did, but it builds and builds.. I want to be connected..” He was no longer scared of telling the truth.

Cheating rumors felt like blasphemy. No one understood the deeply rooted complex he had for the actor. Jihoon swore, squeezing his hyung's thigh before reaching to grab the aluminum square resting on the ledge's edge. Hyunsuk stopped him.

“No.. put it in without it.” He flushed, pulling Jihoon closer while removing his fingers, feeling him pressed against the prepared hole.  Jihoon bit his bottom lip as he slowly sank in slowly. Hyunsuk shook from the intrusion, digging his blunt black nails into Jihoon’s shoulder, leaving bright indents. He had to be careful of his back since it was still healing.

Feeling so hot and full.. It was a bit different without the protection. Hyunsuk missed the stretch and fullness of Jihoon pushing in, since they tried new things on their trip before..

Their lips connected again as he adjusted, feeling every beat of Jihoon’s heart, reminding him how alive he really was deep inside him.

“Am I crazy? .. Why does it feel really good?.. Jihoon..” he moaned as he began to pull back when he was ready and slam back in deep. A direct hit.

“Why do I want you this badly, Jihoon?” He gasped and moaned at the slower thrusts right before he was lifted up more. Jihoon’s strength was so amazing to him. He buried his fingers in his wet hair as they kissed.

“I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you, Sukkie..” They didn’t need to articulate further as he picked up the pace. He moaned Jihoon’s name like a skipping record. An angled thrust, his back bumped the tiled wall. The movement made him clutch the back of his lover’s neck, ready to teeter over the edge. One hand letting go to brace against the foggy and slippery glass..

“Harder.. Please… m-more..” He moaned. Hyunsuk kissed to muffle Jihoon’s moans, his lips, tongue, and teeth ravishing him, and he became more aggressive, biting his lip when he began to go harder.

“Close-!” He gasped at Jihoon’s warning before he squeezed him, tensing as he came. His jaw clenched as his eyelids fluttered. The squeak of Hyunsuk’s wet palm sliding on the glass surface as he scrambled to grab something, as a kaleidoscope of white light burst behind his eyelids. He blinked and scrunched his eyebrows. Orgasming intensely without the assistance of any frontal friction or a hand. The second time in that same space. He felt fuller wetter as Jihoon’s hot fluids dispelled deeply into him with a moan of his name.

“It’’s mutual Sukkie..” Jihoon said before kissing him less aggressive as they came down. He smiled. “Come on.. That was only the beginning..”

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Almost four bouts of intercourse didn’t even tire him out. He was physically exhausted but not sleepy. He was lying facing Jihoon, who drifted to sleep first, thirty minutes before. He knew he would be sore in the morning, but it was well worth it. He didn’t know what he would do if he never got to see Jihoon’s face ever again. Not to be able to hear his voice or feel his touch.

“I wanna be braver, Jihoon..” The irony of saying that after spilling his vague feelings during sex earlier.

“I want full control of my life, but life is so unpredictable.. I hate it. As much as I hate it.. Sometimes you make it better for me.” He scoffed at himself, feeling crazy for yapping to Jihoon while he slept.

“What am I saying?” When he sighed, he felt the arms around him pull him closer.

“Do you love me, Jihoon? …Honestly. I want to tell you while you’re awake.. Because I really do.” He whispered. Hyunsuk glanced at the clock on the wall. It was three forty in the morning. “I can’t sleep and … I’m worried.” He mumbled.

“I don’t want it to be morning because I’ll have to go home, and you’re still here… I guess I’ll sleep on the plane, right?” Jihoon’s face didn’t twitch or move the whole time. He lay with him like that for a minute, just taking in every detail.

“I really love you Jihoon… so much..”  He breathed. He curled in closer to him and closed his eyes to rest them, even if sleep wouldn’t come. 

He didn’t see Jihoon’s eyes blinking open.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Hyunsuk’s heart was still racing as he bowed and thanked everyone on the set of a new variety show called ‘The Influence’ He was their second guest and he had fun but he was so nervous. He couldn’t stop bowing. Even as he backed into the green room where Yoshi waited.

He came with him for moral support, and Hyunsuk appreciated his best friend for being there for him.

“That wasn’t so long. Hyung, your nose is red again.” He tried to refrain from laughing.

“I’m sweating like crazy, too. I looked stupid.” Hyunsuk wiped his forehead.

“You look super cool right now, what do you mean?”

“Well, I never really realized how much people expect me to act because of how I look or dress. Like I get it, but I’m nice, and some of the rumors people truly do believe them.. Did you know there is a rumor about me being a dropout student in America? I didn’t do exactly the best in school, but it’s crazy..”

Yoshi laughed. “It’s because you have turquoise hair right now, hyung. The brighter your hair, the crazier the rumors.” When he thought about it, Yoshi sort of had a point. It had to be linked.

“You really need to not look up your name online anymore, hyung.”

“You can say that because the general public finds you hot.” Hyunsuk grabbed his messenger bag and slung it on his shoulder.

“And the general public finds you hot and cute, hyung.” Yoshi playfully shoved him.

“That’s debatable bro…” He walked out the back double doors where a personnel team was waiting for him to usher them past fans into the back of a car. He was so used to that aspect of his life now he was completely unfazed.

Hyunsuk was photographed as one of Korea’s most popular influencers in last month’s online magazine for GQ Korea.

He reclined his seat back all the way and closed his eyes, exhausted. Yoshi just sympathetically gave his head a gentle pat before playing with his phone.

Hyunsuk missed Jihoon so much that it was killing him. He’d spent the last four weeks filming for Gun Tower 2.

He’d managed to fully declutter his apartment and close his lease, moving permanently into the Hannam-dong condo with Jihoon. It was his favorite of Jihoon’s places, and he felt the safest there.

Even moving the parlor to Gangnam for safety reasons, since the paparazzi and fans were becoming more and more abundant on a daily basis.

His life was so hectic that he didn’t even have the energy or time to relapse into his buying habits. He still had the urges when he got overwhelmed, but Hyunsuk remembered where he lived now, and he knew the shame would eat him up.

Hyunsuk’s last relapse was kind of strange. He didn’t go anywhere physically to buy anything. It was after he attended some other variety show where fans could ask him stuff, and some of the things said by the host felt purposely shady.

They tried their hardest to paint him to be an obsessed fan who pursued Jihoon in a weird way.

At the time, it made him feel really bad, and he did relapse, but strangely enough he had a loud minority of people who demanded the host to apologize for being rude to him. The rolling tides of people’s perceptions constantly shifting and moving was fascinating looking back on it but that same day he bought a treadmill.

It didn’t make sense, and he felt so much shame when Jihoon got home and saw it. He helped him put it together in silence. The bright side of the whole ordeal was that he ran on the machine every day like a madman.

It was Hyunsuk’s new outlet in the evenings, gaining stronger legs like a horse was his goal, and he could do it now since his lungs were healing from smoking.

“I wanna do something fun tonight, Yosh…”

“Let’s do a ‘paint and drink’.. It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten hammered and did art. It’d be funny.” He pulled up a place for paint and drinks on his phone, showing it to Hyunsuk.

The juxtaposition of edgy-looking twenty-something-year-old men doing an activity that someone his mother’s age or retired couples would do made the guys in the parlor always laugh.

“Alright.” He grinned.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Jihoon’s smirk dropped once the cameras stopped taking photos of him leaving. He pushed up the sleeves of his button-up and straightened the watch on his wrist as he walked out of his court hearing with his gaggle of lawyers trying to keep up. He had a purpose, and Jihoon needed to let himself be known to her.

She was a coward and refused to look him in the eyes when he entered. What infuriated him more when his lawyer presented all of the charges being pressed upon her she had the nerve to look shocked by it. Those were just his charges. Hyunsuk’s hearing for her was in five weeks. Right after they get back from Comicon.

As he got closer to her, following her appointed lawyer, he called out to her. 

“Hey, Hong Nuri-ssi!” She stopped, shocked to see him approaching. He took something from his pocket and grabbed her wrist, placing it in her hand. Her eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head.

“Look familiar?” He scoffed.

It was a small pudding yogurt jar from Kim Youngmo Bakery with a pretty bow wrapped around it. A glass jar.

“Ya! If you do anything it’s grounds for a counter-” Her lawyer was cut off by him.

“Relax, I’m not doing anything, just being a good sport. An early parting gift from me. Savor it because by November, kongbap is all you're going to be tasting if I cross my fingers and toes, hoping this judge throws the book at you because of everything you’ve done. For hurting Hyunsuk.”

Jihoon brushed past her frozen form as he headed to his vehicle, never once looking back at her.

Chapter Text

Hyunsuk was in the middle of probably the most uncomfortable piercing appointment of his life. When he walked out of the back room ripping off his gloves Asahi gave him a concerned glance.

“I need liquor..” He mumbled.

“Why hyung?” Asahi glanced up from his phone. 

“I’ll tell you why in a minute..”

A woman stepped out from the back, wiping her eyes, flinching from discomfort as she came out to pay at their appointed reception being manned by Haruto at the moment behind the display of jewelry for sale.

Once she left, he uncrossed his arms and took a deep breath.

“What happened, hyung?”

“Did you not hear her yelling at me?! Ever since we’ve moved to Gangnam, it’s just been spoiled influencers and rich snobs, just… with no brains.  First, she almost flashed me to tell me she wanted her.. Intimate parts pierced, and I told her ‘I didn’t do those types of piercings because of the risks’. She got angry, then changed her mind and instead wanted her nipples pierced, news flash, it hurts!”

Asahi quickly caught on. 

“I asked if she had implants because.. Well, I can tell, but simply because of the pain would be greater compared to if she didn’t, and she got offended… Then, when I did them, she screamed like I was skinning her alive! I need a drink…”

Hyunsuk found Malo at the entrance, about to lock the front door. “Malo wanna get drunk?” The man looked briefly confused.

“It’s only noon..”

“I know, I know, but I want to go home and have a drink.. Come on, Malo. I’m done for today. No more screaming, no more balloon boobs, I wanna go.” Hyunsuk ruffled his growing hair.

“Shit Hyunsuk.. I can’t while on the job. It’s in my contract.”

The artist’s shoulders sagged. “Okay..” He didn’t want to pout, but a part of him missed the Hookah bar.

When he did get back to the condo, he had two options…  delve back into his habit of drinking until he was sick or the treadmill. He stood on the equipment on the balcony of the condo overlooking the neighborhood and the city view in the distance of the hills. He took his slippers off and put on the sneakers he had beside the machine. He adjusted the incline and got on.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

‘Hyung, I’m filming right now, but check your email.’

The text woke him up from the bed he slept in Yoshi’s spare bedroom, first thing in the morning. 

“...Email?” He murmured to himself while rubbing his eye. He opened it up, reading the first thing that wasn’t client confirmations for appointments, and it was a lengthy letter from Jihoon’s agent, Hiyeon, stating in the most formal way possible that they wanted Hyunsuk to model Jihoon’s Redlight’s Ruby line of couture clothing. Some of Jihoon’s designs he had seen him sketch in a notepad back in Madagascar were attached files. Lots of different types of fabrics and line flow. 

He didn’t realize how talented Jihoon was. He should have known, since he was intense every time he looked over his shoulder when he drew his own tattoos or even when he saw himself looking through fashion magazines. Hyunsuk himself really enjoyed fashion and designed a couple of his own ideas, so seeing the mock-ups from Jihoon, he wanted to buy and wear the new line, but modeling? For an online catalog?

‘Hoon Hoon’ 
‘Hoonie’
‘I’m not handsome enough to model for your catalog. I’m looking at these models on your site. I know you think I’m handsome, but traditionally for modeling?’ 
He shook his head, still looking at the other brand ambassadors and other models that littered the pages.

Hyunsuk dragged his feet as he went out to the living area of the apartment and saw two forms bundled up together, eating egg-toast while watching some sort of documentary about a village in  Siberia on television together.

Junkyu was with Yoshi. Hyunsuk didn’t know where one man started and the other began with how they occupied the couch.

Hyunsuk froze before bowing politely, saying hello to the singer.

“Hyung, it’s almost noon.. Your toast’s gonna get cold.” Yoshi complained before biting into his. He glanced at the table where a thick bacon sandwich was waiting for him. Hyunsuk had so many questions. When did Junkyu get there? And he wanted to know the details of how they even got together. Every time he asked Yoshi, he got that sly look in his eyes, and he smiled and said, ‘It all worked out, so why even tell?’

He didn’t press further.

He shuffled over to the table, yawning. Suddenly, there was a barrage of buzzes and pings from his pajama pants pockets. He pulled out the phone, seeing that Jihoon was rapidly replying to what he said.

‘Hyung, are you kidding, hyung?’
‘I wouldn’t want you to model if I didn’t think you were model material, no matter how attracted I am to you’
‘Hyung please’
‘Sukkie you’re insane, your beauty is natural and insane’
‘hyung , hey, answer me hyung’
‘When you put yourself down, it makes me upset’
‘The Ruby line is made for you, I know it’
‘It’s a little punk, a little urban streetwear, and a little haute couture, it’s perfect for you’
‘Redlights, I usually do annual runway shows for it, so you might have to walk too’
‘Hyung, seriously think about it’
‘There is a moth print bomber I want you to model’

It was text after text from Jihoon with no room to breathe. He really wanted him to model.

‘Okay, okay! I see what you’re saying, Hoonie, alright?

Hyunsuk chewed on his lip, a bit overwhelmed by Jihoon’s compliments and suggestions.

“Shit I.. god..” He mumbled.

“What are you arguing with yourself about now hyung?” Yoshi looked over the back of the couch.

“I guess I’ll try modeling.. but .. my height and..” He sighed.

“Park Jihoon wants you to model his clothes?” Yoshi perked up. Junkyu, in turn, untangled himself from Yoshi to stand with surprise in his eyes at the mention of his good celebrity friend.

“Oh, is it your first time modeling? No one really cares about height or weight anymore in most fashion circles now, it’s if the clothes look good on you.” Junkyu grinned.

“No offense, but I don’t exactly believe you.” He looked at Junkyu’s body proportions.

“I’m being really honest. You can make anything look good if you pose well enough and your resting face looks good. Here.” The singer smiled, looking around the room, grabbing the blanket off Yoshi and draping it on Hyunsuk’s shoulders. He posed him in a way that he stood naturally.

“Look straight ahead and tilt your chin up a little. Don’t break your forward view.”

He did as Junkyu said. He nodded. “You’re naturally handsome, so yeah, it works, and with more directions from the photographer, you’ll do fine.” He smiled, taking the blanket back. “Trust me, I modeled plenty.”

Hyunsuk sighed and shook his head. “Putting a blanket on my shoulders proves nothing, though..”

“Hyung, just do the job. I bet you’ll love it once you start. You’re always like this, and then you end up loving it after all your worrying and whining.” Yoshi pointed at him, trying to be firm with him like a dad trying to motivate his son.

“It’s not that easy, Yosh.. but fine. Everyone is saying I should, so why not?” He grabbed the sandwich to reheat in the toaster oven.

“You’ll be fine,” Yoshi reassured again, pulling Junkyu back down to continue their documentary.

“Sure sure..” He pulled his phone out while waiting for the sandwich to cool.

‘Junkyu’s here at Yoshi’s.. I’m staying with them this weekend and they convinced me, I guess.’

He opened the toaster oven to get his sandwich, eating like a famished man.

‘OH! Good! Yeah, I can’t wait to see you in my clothes again.’

He relaxed a bit. Something about Jihoon being so excited about it eased him a bit. The actor was so confident he would do well that he didn’t want to fight it.

‘Also, do something for me, tell Kim Junkyu he’s a copycat. I got a tattoo parlor boyfriend first. Tell him I’m cooler than him.’

It was so childish that he almost choked on his bite with laughter.

‘I told you I’m not picking a fight with him on your behalf. He’s nice to me.’

He had managed to get over his hurdles about his looks. Hyunsuk scrutinized himself so much so that he would stand in front of the mirror for almost hours sometimes in the past. He didn’t do it as much, or if the others caught him doing it, they’d snap him out of it.

Maybe modeling could break the spell he put on himself.

He had his first shoot in an old western-style building where his growing hair, now bright purple, was mussed into something even more handsome than how he came in. The makeup artist kept mumbling how his symmetry was delicate and pretty. It made his ears turn red.

He got dressed up in the first outfit. He was told how to pose when in front of the backdrops. It was like he froze up, but once the suggestions started flowing and he did the things Junkyu coached him on the other day, it all felt natural.

When it was all over, he made it back to the condo to get the parlor keys to make it back to work for his evening appointments.

Once the catalog went live, he was bombarded with messages.

He’d receive previews a week in advanced but didn’t want to look at them for fear that he wouldn’t like what he saw, but suddenly he was messaged by representative of marketing teams from brands, fans complimenting him, and people he’d known at the most random places sending his words of admiration.

Hyunsuk just finished a piercing appointment when Haruto grabbed his face with a look of concentration, squeezing his face like he wanted to pop it like a large grape.

He tried fighting him off, squirming, then biting and chomping his thumb, which the younger quickly snatched his hand away.

“Stop manhandling me all the time!” Hyunsuk complained.

“I’m just amazed. That our little Hyunsukkie’s made it big time as a brand ambassador. You’ve always been cool and handsome, but I’ve never known you to be so.. I don’t know, ethereal? I’m looking at you right now, and you look constipated. Tell me your secret, hyung.” The mock sincerity in Haruto’s voice pissed him off. He pinched him and turned to shut his phone's notifications off.

“He’s just jealous because he wants modeling gigs too,” Doyoung commented, rummaging through the employee fridge like he worked there too. Hyunsuk, of course, wasn’t going to tell him not to.

He took a deep breath before going to the website to see the catalog. The splash page had artistic effects, and where before it was Jihoon emerging from a red mist in one of his clothing pieces, it was Hyunsuk posing while standing in the middle of a red puddle in one of his favorite outfits from the collection. A shredded crop top with a long flowing blazer, baggy patched trousers, and thick-soled shoes. The way it was mature, kind of made him feel sexy, and it felt comfortable on him was a plus.

He looked through the full Ruby Red collection, all eighteen outfits. 

He actually liked it.

Hyunsuk blushed a little. He really couldn’t believe how artistic every image was. A notification from Jihoon on Kakao with only one message.

‘I want you.’

He looked at the time. It was midnight where Jihoon currently was. He released a deep breath. His lips began to tingle, wanting to smile.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

‘Man’s yappin’ again ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Suk’s adorable.’

‘Let him have a cameo, maybe in GT!’

Hyunsuk folded his legs sitting in the center of the bed, reading the first two comments on his fanclub forum opinions comparing Jihoon’s performances in Gun Tower and Past Assassin. 

It was supposed to be such a brief answer, but he wrote a wall of text giving his opinion, going into the nuances of what he saw in both Sung and Tui.

He really missed Jihoon. It was week eight of filming, and Jihoon didn’t have time to message much, just brief photos of what he was doing. He felt so much longing that he had been pretty quiet when out and about. Hyunsuk still did influencer things here and there. Guested on a couple of online shows and was a regular on a podcast dedicated to Gun Tower.

The double-edged sword was that he got to play around and happily talk about Gun Tower, and the other edge was that Jihoon’s face would pop up in his mind, and he’d miss him more.

As more comments flooded in teasing him in good nature, his phone buzzed.

“Hyung? Are you busy?” It was Jihoon. 

He sat up straighter. His mood instantly boosted. Hyunsuk felt a pang in his chest hearing that raspy voice. He sounded sleepy but flirty.

“Jihoon-ah, it’s early dawn, right? Did you film all day?  What’s with that crazy gun prop you showed me? I know you can’t spoil anything, but what is that? How did you tear your boots, too? Wait, you broke a fork at lunch? Like how you broke your chopsticks when we ate lunch together a couple of months ago? Jihoonie? What’s up?”

Jihoon was quiet for a minute. “...That was a rap verse.. The flow..”

“Hmm?”

Jihoon let out a tired laugh. “I miss you, too.”

Hyunsuk blushed. He knew his lover had to be exhausted, but his voice was stirring up something deep inside him.

“Are..You're still doing your own stunts?”

“Sukkie, why are you suddenly stuttering?” he chuckled.

He began swearing at himself in his own mind. He was growing suddenly so hard that it almost hurt. 

“Shit..” he huffed.

“I’m fine… did you just want to hear my voice?” He teased. “I’m glad to hear yours.. The suspense is killing me…. Can you tell me anything?”

“No hyung. I can’t hyung.” Jihoon said softly in a cute way. Hyunsuk was in a disturbed state. He twisted uncomfortably.

“Why? Just tell me about the prop… please?”

“If I tell you it’s going to be a major spoiler, sorry baby, wait until I take you to the premiere when it comes out or.. Maybe a sneak peek at Comic Con?” Jihoon chuckled.

Hyunsuk grunted as he rolled over. 

“Hyung.. Why are you moving around so much? All I hear are blankets, are you building a tent?”

‘I built a tent all right, ’ he thought to himself. It was aggravating. He missed Jihoon’s hands all over him, touching him softly. A firm grasp on his body as he held him, pressed him into the mattress, and drove deep inside him.

Last time they had sex, he was a bit rougher like that, and the following morning, he plowed into Jihoon over the bathroom vanity in front of the mirror. The memory of their encounters before he went to film made him shift from the throbbing between his legs.

“You’re suddenly so quiet, hyung… are you still there?”

Hyunsuk took a shaky breath, “Yeah, I’m here…” His voice lowered and breathy, catching even himself off guard.

“Are- You aren’t touching yourself or something? Why do you sound like that?” He pulled the phone back, pouting incredulously.

“Wha- no I’m .. I’m not, but… Shit Jihoon-ah I want you to touch me so badly.. Just one more week, right? Then you come back for a bit, then back to filming?” He wanted to double-check his lover’s schedule.

“We’ve only been talking for less than ten minutes and you’re horny?” Jihoon laughed. 

“Yeah, I am..”

“Well, you wanna switch to Duo and give me a show?” He could hear the grin in Jihoon’s tone and him shifting, too. He’d never had phone sex or done anything like recording himself doing anything, never sent a photo of his genitals, nothing like that before. The idea excited him as he hung up without saying anything and quickly opened the app to invite Jihoon, sitting up and propping his phone on the side table. He waited for an answer to the invitation. Hyunsuk saw Jihoon walking into another room, his hair still damp with that black bathrobe he loved wearing most of the time. Jihoon was known to be mostly comfortable in the nude all the time. The man was so hot that the pulsing in his shorts made him fidget.

“Wow, the lighting in the bedroom is insane, hyung!” Jihoon exclaimed, now perking up and sounding a bit more awake. Hyunsuk could care less about the lighting. His dick hurt.

“What do you want me to do Hoonie.. You gotta tell me. Have you ever done something like this before?”

Jihoon took a minute to go to the familiar bedroom they first connected in after the wrap party, propping his phone too, to sit on the edge of the unmade bed. Jihoon’s round eyes looked eager.

He finally answered, “A couple times.. Yeah, I have. It’s more secretive than photos.. Anyone with enough tech savvy can brick your cloud and hack your drive for pics.. This is a better solution. Human ingenuity is great.” Hyunsuk barely paid any attention to Jihoon’s murmuring since he was laser-focused on the hand aggravatingly messing with the knot of his robe.

The actor noticed this with his smile spreading. “Hey, stop drooling and unfold your legs.. Do you wanna try something fun- Woah! No underwear?!” He did as Jihoon told him to while he talked. 

The tent in his shorts would have been comical to himself too if he wasn’t so aroused and frustrated, about to jump headfirst into his phone to come through the other side and rip Jihoon’s robe off.

“Try what?” He began to pant, his skin feeling clammy, and the air feeling thicker. “What do you want me to do?”

“...If you were at house number one, you would have toys..” Jihoon said slyly, his hand freezing as he oogled him. 

Hyunsuk halted from reaching to squeeze the pressure in his shorts, shocked. “Wait, what?”

“I bought a couple of things.. But I haven’t had time to use it, and to be honest, we never really needed it to spice up anything.. The way you jump me normally is already hot.. That sort of play…. Do you want to someday?” Jihoon went back to undoing the knot.

“....I trust you. You’ve never done anything that felt bad to me..” He spread his legs more as he pushed back against the pile of pillows behind him.

“Are you going to keep my Redlights shirt on or off?” Jihoon asked in a teasing manner, like he was itching to mention that Hyunsuk was wearing not only his merchandise, but it was Jihoon’s actual shirt from his closet.

“What do you want me to do?” He began to get the hang of the teasing and flirting.

“Off,” Jihoon said in English while still maintaining his warm grin. He wasn’t taking it seriously at all, and it put Hyunsuk at ease. It distracted him from being self-conscious about what they were actually doing. The artist lifted and pulled the shirt off. He glanced at his phone’s screen to see that Jihoon’s robe was open, showing him everything. From his well-defined sculpted muscles, the words of the tattoo that covered his birthmark, everything. He shifted in the seat, reclining some, giving him full view of his arousal resting against his navel. Hyunsuk chewed on his lip ring as his shorts dampened where he himself was stressing out the fabric from the stretch of his tent.

“Shit..” He sighed, finally pulling them off, glancing at the screen, seeing how Jihoon’s cute smile really didn’t match his body language at all.

“No lubricant?” Jihoon teased, boldly touching himself.

“This .. It wasn’t planned so.. Just.” He got an idea by putting his fingers in his mouth while he pleasured himself. Using his palm to spread the liquid that dripped at the tip from the atmosphere, turning him on. 

He made sure to make a show of licking his fingers. His eyes boring into Jihoon through the screen, watching the actor’s hips twitch upward, Hyunsuk let his barbell peek through his fingers, guessing exactly what the other man wanted to see. He got the reaction he wanted as Jihoon’s hand started moving at a steady pace as he bit at his bottom lip. 

“You told me you had fantasies.. That you tried your own fingers sometimes, hyung.. Show me what you did.” He huffed.

Hyunsuk let the fingers slip from his lips and tongue, positioning himself so his lover could see his lower half well. Using a pillow to have leverage on his hips gave the actor a view of everything, enough so his face wasn’t obscured too. Reaching his fingers down, finding his hole, where he didn’t hesitate to slip a finger in slowly with a gasp, watching as Jihoon teased himself. A feedback loop of each other, lost in the haze of lustful wanting of one another.

“Jihoon-ah .. when are you coming back?” He asked in between soft moans, his fingers now moving slowly in and out.

“I’m not hyung.. Not for a while… but there is a GT event in Taipei.. Come on.. I want you to be there with me…” Jihoon’s husky voice hitched as he moved his fist now in a steady rhythm and pace.

Hyunsuk removed his fingers to ease the already quick pressure building in his testicles. He squeezed to hold back while his other hand continued to grasp and pump. He panted like a dog in heat, having a hard time trying to think about what Jihoon said.

“-Yeah.. God, I need to see you.. I’ll go..” Hyunsuk finally answered between shaky moans.

“Great hyung.. Hahh- now spread your legs more..” He pulsed in his palm as he copied how Jihoon touched himself, too.

“--Ah hyung.. I’m already almost there.. I want you.” He said. His chest heaving as he tried to slow down some. “We should have done this a long time ago.. You’re so handsome, hyung.. Too hot-” He complimented, trying to keep his eyes focused, but it was increasingly difficult.

His groans and pants, along with his flushed body shivering, tremors course through him from how sometimes he would lose some of his control and rut, pushing up from the chair he sat in.

The artist teased himself with his fingers again as his other hand stroked faster. “I want you to do that thing again.. With your tongue.. I want you inside Jihoonie..” Hyunsuk felt the pressure building quicker. Imagining Jihoon was there and that it was his hands on him. His longer fingers pushed and curled deep within, putting pressure where it was needed. He stiffened in warning in his now-damp palm.

“ Ah, I’m-” he gasped with alarm. “ Jihoon–!” He warned, and as soon as the slurred words left his lips, his hips jerked as he let out a whimper, releasing over his fist, wrist, and the valley of his hip as his pelvis never stopped stuttering up as he rode it out. Jihoon wasn’t far behind, his head lolling to the side, his eyes bleary as he copiously made a mess of himself and his robe. 

As he came down from his climax, Hyunsuk felt a slight pang of lonely sadness. He missed how afterward, Jihoon would wrap his warm body around him.. Holding him. He truly missed it so much.

With the fluids sticky and cooling as he sat there catching his breath, he realized it.

“ I really miss you, Jihoon… not just stuff like you touching me.. What should I do?”

Jihoon laughed breathily. “Just come to Taiwan.. It's a Gun Tower fan event.. You’re favorite, and we’ll give the release date then at the event.. Before Comicon..” He sighed, his breathing slowing down. “ Don’t you want to dress up as Bruce?” He laughed and reached past his phone to get something to clean himself up.

Hyunsuk sat up with a grunt. “I want to dress up as Sung.” He smirked.

The actor laughed, being caught off guard by the answer. “Okay. See you in Taiwan, baby.” Hyunsuk leaned back coolly, then playfully sticking his tongue out at him.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

This year’s Comic Expo in Taipei, Taiwan, drew a large crowd. Apparently, Gun Tower had a lot of Taiwanese fans who showed up just for the movie’s panel at the Taipei International Convention Center.

Hyunsuk arrived before Jihoon, and he had never heard so much loud screaming ever in his entire life as he was ushered through the back of the center. 

“Your ears are so red, hyung!” His friends decided to make a vacation of the event and came with him. Yoshi continued to tease him all the way to the designated room on the fourth floor.

“I didn’t expect people to want to see me that soon or wait for me to arrive…” He huffed and put down his bag, taking a seat.

“Where is Jihoon?”  Haruto asked while eating a croquette at the provided catering.

“He just arrived and is preparing for his panel.. I need to get dressed.” Hyunsuk puckered his lips, looking at the clothing bag his costume was in.

“Heh, you’re really excited about cosplaying, hyung.” Asahi smiled brightly, clearly finding Hyunsuk funny and cute.

“I’m Sung from now on, call me that instead.” He smiled, nodding before standing. One of the staff members led him to where he needed to go to get changed. Jihoon’s styling team helped him get ready.  He was there to have fun, but also in a small sense to promote his lover’s film. He always wanted to go to an event like this and take photos, and wear costumes. The team helped him with the accessories and details and did his make-up to give him all the accurate scars.

He hadn’t seen himself with black hair in so long that he felt odd with the wig he wore, which was styled scarily accurate,  like the comic book version more than the movie version. The staff told him the panel for Gun Tower would start soon. They were just preparing the cast for their costumes as well, since they were going to surprise the fans.

Hyunsuk sat in front of the vanity, buzzing with happiness because of how cool he looked. Most of the staff left him alone while he checked out the other events for tomorrow on the center’s website. He also practiced some Mandarin so he could communicate better. It was strange, though ever since he landed, he felt some slight uneasiness, but he couldn’t find a direct answer as to why he felt that way.

Maybe it was because he was being fawned over so much, and the staff kept picking and prodding at him and glancing at him and making sure he was okay. It might be that he was becoming a bit overwhelmed and didn’t realize that it was because he was so excited for the panel.

He didn’t pay attention as he was whispered to by a staff member that it was time to get his panel cards for the Q&A that he’d read for the cast. He would help move the panel along, helping the team out. He’d always seen it at Comic Con streams, and he quickly and happily accepted it when it was suggested to him by Jihoon’s team.

He stood up and followed the staff member, checking his settings on his phone as he crossed the skyway to the main convention center into a stairwell. He heard a grunt and a scream as soon as he ascended the stairs. When he glanced up his mind fully didn’t register what he saw.

Behind him, Hyunsuk saw one of the escorting staff get kicked down the stairs and the woman who kept coming in and out of the dressing room as he changed pulled out a knife making the other staff back up. Then she turned her attention to him.

It registered who the woman was. With no makeup and a face mask along with her hair being cut into a dark pixie cut under a cap, he didn’t recognize her at first due to being face blind with so many people around and his excitement, but it was Nuri.

She illegally left the country, his hearing for her sentencing was two weeks away and here she was, brandishing a knife in Taiwan. He froze at first, but she began to run up the stairs toward him. He dropped his phone running fast up the stairs yanking open the door.

“Shit..” He realized he had just run into a crowd. “Run!” He told the people who saw him. They all began to swarm him, screaming happily. He forgot no one would understand him. He tried yelling again in English this time. No one listened, trying to push and get closer. He shoved through the crowd as Nuri quickly pushed through. Once some people realized the weapon, they backed off or started to move from the situation as he called for help.

When Hyunsuk tried to move away from her, the only words his brain could form was, “Why?!”

“I told you! You never give me attention! You never do! ‘My grave is like to be my wedding bed!’ Don’t you remember my poem?! ” She tried swinging at him with the weapon. Some braver fans tried to grab her from behind but she swiped at them. Some people thought it was possibly a spoiler and part of  the panel as they took out their phones to record.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Jihoon wondered while standing, adjusting the leather gloves on his hands, why the panel hadn’t started. He looked at his equally confused castmates. Loud yelling was heard from the curtain behind the large stage, with fans now fully seated. Most were suddenly standing, gazing up. Jihoon peeked up to the commotion.

Junghwan grabbed his shoulder. “It’s Hyunsuk!” He pointed upward. He saw his back hit the golden railing of the stairs. “No!” 

Jihoon quickly ran out to the screams and gasps of the people suddenly being ushered out of the venue by staff. The actor jumped across the panel tables and ran to the first set of stairs trying to get to Hyunsuk as fast as possible.

“Hyung!” He yelled. Things happened so quickly, He saw what happened but he never stopped running up to the midway to the third and fourth floor when he heard  a dull sound and then a crash. A merchandise tent and table caved in on itself. By the time he made it to Hyunsuk he was looking over the railing panting before sinking down into a squat clutching his bleeding arm. Jihoon looked over the railing too. Nuri was faced up looking up at him breathing labored with angry tears in her eyes. 

There was no way she could get up. He didn’t want to look anymore quickly helping Hyunsuk up as he called for staff to help. They both were quickly rushed out.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

It was safe to say the convention was canceled abruptly.  

He quickly flew back to Korea that evening and it was two days after the incident.

He slowly tried his best to not dwell on the event. Even though he felt safer, since Nuri couldn’t do any more damage he had to make sure for himself. He didn’t tell Jihoon or anyone when he went to Daegu to the Gyeongsan where she was being held. When he approached the front desk he was greeted by a woman at the sign-in desk. She looked at him with the starstruck eyes he was used to.

“Um,..I don’t want to visit or anything, just.. I don’t exactly know why I came here.” He admitted. The woman at the desk knew exactly about Nuri. Most people did.

“She’s- .. She never does anything, just sometimes watches the television in the commons but she’s subjected to the special watch ward because of what she did but.. She doesn’t talk or anything.. If you were to come in and visit, since she is considered a criminal we would need you to sign-in.”

Hyunsuk stared down at the visitation sign in forms. He shook his head.

“Thanks for telling me.” He smiled politely. She closed the book for him as he turned and left.

He visited his eomma after who was the comfort he needed and then he visited his mother’s tree. Leaving some beautiful flowers for her.

A couple of days after visiting Daegu, he got a phone call from his mother telling him to check the message she sent him, but she couldn’t talk long since she was still at work at the real estate office.

When Hyunsuk looked at the article had him covering his mouth. 

‘Mummified Remains found in the attic of Nam-gu Neighborhood Salon’

He continued reading about the remains of possibly a young man being found and foul play was absolutely involved. It was his friend Gun’s old parlor. He had a sinking feeling about it. He hadn’t heard from him in over a year and a half and suddenly Nuri had expendable money..

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

 He felt like he was being hypnotized by the kinetic motion toy on the doctor’s desk. The door opened and the handsome man with broad shoulders took a seat with a warm smile on his tan face.

“Hey Dr. Park.” He greeted the youngerman softly.

“Hello Choi-nim.. It’s been a while. I know some recent things have happened. Other than that, how have you been?”

Hyunsuk took a deep breath, “Slightly traumatized… strangely relieved if I’m being honest.. Still paranoid.. A mix of everything.”

“I understand completely… Are you sleeping alright?”

“I’ve had some nightmares…” Hyunsuk scratched his eyebrow where he shaved a notch in. He was still debating on piercing it. 

“Mainly Nuri breaking into my home and actually stabbing me.. Stuff like that, but when I wake I remember now that she’s paralyzed.. And under investigation for another crime in Daegu…She can’t even move.”

“And that causes you to feel relief?” Dr. Park typed at his ipad again.

“Yeah? I know she can’t physically hurt me anymore but, … I think ‘was there a way for things to not escalate to how they did?’ or ‘Could I have gotten her to not stalk me?’ I found out she lived in a hostel and had been following me everywhere… she recorded and journaled everything she did and saw…”

A detective came to see him and talk to him. They told him several shocking things that pertained to him.

Jeongwoo watched him twisting the ring on his finger again. “What things have you been doing to cope Choi-nim?”

Hyunsuk laughed to himself a little. “I haven’t been doing anything for once.. I haven’t had the urge to buy anything for a while now.. If that’s what you're asking.”

“Well, It’s truly up to you what you feel like what I’m referring to, but that’s great you haven’t had those urges.”

“I did get drunk last night.. I’m a little hungover…” Hyunsuk saw his eyebrows raise as if he’s just finished solving a puzzle. The young doctor was good at pinpointing when he didn’t act according to routine.

“You are currently trying to numb things which are normal. These things take time.” The doctor’s body language quickly relaxed as he put away the iPad again.

“You are grieving. Not a death but grieving an incident. With the nature of the event now over you will, with time, realize that the instance has been over for a while and slowly move on. Just remember your processes and habits… You have a strong support system, let them help you too.”

Hyunsuk absorbed Dr. Park’s words.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Hyunsuk could tell Jihoon had been exhausted. It’s been two weeks since Taiwan, and they were still going to Comicon in San Diego. It wasn’t that his lover was being mean or ignoring him. He could tell how he sought him out and quietly held him, but then quickly would fall fast asleep at night.

Between filming and stress he never really pressed the actor to talk about what happened. Hyunsuk just only talked when Jihoon came home from press tours and it was just Jihoon mumbling that he was home as he spooned him in bed.

Even during their flight, he was pretty quiet. They smiled and waved at fans sleepily who waited for them to arrive at their hotel, but other than that, Jihoon was pretty stoic. All the fixtures came crumbling down once they were in their hotel room.

Hyunsuk felt eyes on him right before he put his shirt on after his shower. He froze in his motion and his eyes connected with Jihoon.

“What's wrong?” His words were faint. Barely a whisper. The actor approached slowly, his fingers traced the thin red line on his shoulder above his Noh mask tattoo, Spiderman black spider tattoo, and the Indigos.. There was a small line through them on his shoulder blade.

“I guess it worked..”

Hyunsuk frowned trying to get Jihoon to look him in the eyes. The actor shook his head.

“I've been avoiding you.” The smile that he had contradicted his words. His hands went from gingerly touching to pulling him closer to him.

“I Don’t…” Hyunsuk stumbled forward into Jihoon’s arms trying to pull information from Jihoon’s eyes. “I don’t understand Hoonie.. Have you?” If he was being honest his feelings were slightly hurt.

“I just… When it comes to comforting, I'm terrible at it… It’s been a challenge in the past for me and what happened in Taipei.. I witnessed it and I don’t know how to approach you and make everything okay. Will it be okay? I wanna just be happy with you but, I don’t know.” He pressed his forehead to Hyunsuk’s.

“I didn’t know how to approach you but.. You’ve been doing so well so far.. I know your nightmares stopped.. You don’t twist around in your sleep anymore.”

“Are you doing alright Hoonie?” The question catches Jihoon off guard. Hyunsuk could tell from the way he held his breath.

He wasn’t doing well at all. The way Jihoon averted his eyes and loosened his grip.

Hyunsuk made the actor look at him before speaking. “Everything in my life- I’ve always felt I was unlucky, never worthy of anything or happiness. Nothing, that my suffering was deserved. My karma or punishment but now, I realize that it’s just a human experience. Yeah its anxiety inducing and fairly unique as experiences go but everyone has human experiences. Some more extreme than another person’s. One person can stub their toe while another could be attacked by a swarm of bees. It varies.” Hyunsuk’s voice rang with sincerity as he explained.

He chuckled at Jihoon’s befuddled expression. “What I’m trying to say is sometimes things happen and they may cause varying degrees of pain but because of time, they will pass…. I read a poem about time, ‘Reflect on a moment but it’s just that. Only a moment’ I’m fine.. You're fine and well, I’m ready to live life. I don’t want to be trapped in my own mind worrying about what could have happened or my painful past.” He could see Jihoon processing everything he just said.

He slowly began to internally heal once he got the closure he needed and walked away from the place Nuri would spend the rest of her life. He had a couple instances of healing. Hyunsuk knew there would be times the wounds would itch and hurt where he’d want to re-open them and fall into his bad habits again, but he had so much good going for him and he had Jihoon.

“Some people believe what happened was promotion for Gun Tower 2.” He laughed.

“Well who cares what people think! I almost lost you..!” Jihoon’s outburst caught him by surprise.

“Jihoon-ah… Hey..” He cupped his face in his hands. Hyunsuk was aware of that actor’s mixed feelings about his role in the film and acting in general. He loved the films so much, but his lover’s relationship with them was complicated, and what happened at the convention soured his feelings on the film promotions, too. Mainly, the conversations online of what happened.

Normally the words of spectators never really bothered Jihoon but what happened really got to the actor this time.

Jihoon tucked his face into his neck. “Jihoonie..” He pushed his fingers through his soft hair. His heart hurt. "Jihoon…” His voice wavered when he pulled the actor’s face from hiding and he quickly dove in kissing him to distract Hyunsuk from looking at the expression on his face. Fervent and soft but with desperation. Jihoon’s warm tears dripped onto his cheeks. The shifting of his lips were so dewy and soft that it was enough to give him vertigo.

Jihoon’s hiccupped gasps in between kisses made Hyunsuk pull him back. Jihoon’s face when he cried was heartbreaking. “Hey..” He kissed him again before wiping away his dripping tears. It felt like a hand was squeezing his heart.

“I love you,” Hyunsuk whispered.

His mind was sure of his words and his heart was even more so.

“Hyung..” The floodgates for the other man opened as he sobbed. “You’re so unpredictable..” He kissed him again. His lips trembled every time. “God hyung. I love you so much. I really do.”

Hyunsuk pulled him back lying down dragging the actor on top of him, closing his eyes as he clung to him.

Jihoon covered him fully exhaling and deflating on top, embracing him.

“I don’t know why I was so hesitant.. Maybe I was scared..” His voice muffled back his face tucked against his ear.

“It all felt fake… I just did things I pretended to do when I did dramas… I-i didn’t really know if it was right or not. Just how a perfect boyfriend was written, most of everything didn’t feel real and so…”

When Hyunsuk looked back on things he realized that Jihoon did try to act near perfect with him all the time. Never wanting to show his imperfections but there were several times the mask slipped. When Jihoon was actually angry, when they sometimes had small arguments, when he was worried or when he caught him by surprise with his own turbulent life, when he was uncomfortable after invasive interviews, never in front of the interviewer, and when he saw Hyunsuk about to be grabbed and pushed over fourth floor railing.

“Let’s be happy. Okay Jihoonie?” He took in a deep inhale taking his faint cherry scent to memory.

“Let’s work hard for it,” Jihoon mumbled.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Another premiere, lots of flashing photography, and Hyunsuk was drunk but not wasted. He just giggled a lot more and was bright red as him and Jihoon were being interviewed for the twelfth time that night.

“Hyung it’s your favorite movie and you aren’t going to be able to comprehend it with how drunk you are.” Jihoon laughed equally as drunk. They were going to be for sure embarrassed once they watch playbacks of their drunken antics.

To his surprise Hyunsuk wasn’t to drunk to comprehend the film at all. He did laugh loudly and cried, his normal bouts of experiencing the movie instead of watching it. Jihoon laughed at his puffy face when the lights came on. To much alcohol, popcorn and tears.

Even in the after party, every time he looked at Hyunsuk's face, he’d either scrunch his face up and smile or laugh.

“Cut it out! I’m reliving it in my heart.. And memory.” He moodily ate a handful of chocolate covered pretzel balls crunching noisily with his eyes closed.

“-But Hyung, you’re so cute.” He nuzzled his hair. “You love Sung that much? Are you going to marry Sung? I won’t let you.”

“Who said I wanted to marry Sung?” He gently shoved him.

“The whole time you had hearts in your eyes. It made me jealous.”

“You’re Sung stupid… just.. Wear the outfit sometimes..” Hyunsuk looked the actor up and down.

“See! You like Sung more!” Jihoon laughed noisily. Hyunsuk smiled at how sunny his laughter was. “Let’s try it later.. Ya know.. I don’t have a full outfit but I have a red fitted shirt and leather jacket.” The way he whispered the suggestion in his ear made the heat in his body travel south. 

“Am I into roleplaying?” The artist mumbled to himself out loud. “I think I wanna roleplay.” Hyunsuk slurred out eating more pretzels.

Jihoon’s laugh sounded like a window cleaner. “Let’s get out of here soon. You’re way too drunk.”

They stayed at the party a while longer. The stress of the film and the year in general for both of them gone and left behind as a memory.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

The lights in the cozy studio barn with his co-host, his online comic book shop owner friend who he met on a Gun Tower fan forum three years ago, Chinhwa, he was popular in the community and he was one of the first supporters of his too who suggested the podcast sat on the set with him in a comfortable lounger. He pushed his thick rimmed glasses up star struck by their guest, Jihoon who sat between them comfortably too as their guest for this particular episode.

Hyunsuk sat with his legs folded up comfortably in his favorite seat with his mic on a stand in front of him. They were closing up their show in the normal way they did. Either with the artist either reciting a wise quote from the series or a lyric from the movie’s soundtrack. This time with Jihoon there as their guest Hyunsuk closed his eyes and began to recite something.

“Let’s make a promise...

You play the notes of a new scale,

I will complain by writing songs too.

Let’s keep a promise,

And let's whisper...

With all eyes watching from every corner of the world,

Only brief silence between us.

Let's go somewhere far away hidden from the noise,

Where happiness is ours.

And let's live up to our promise...

Whenever you breathe,

The beating of your heart is mine,

Whenever I lose my breath,

That heartbeat is yours.

Let’s stay steady within our promise.”

When Hyunsuk opened his eyes and he looked at Jihoon’s eyes wide and round, stretched in surprise, he smiled at him. Glancing down at the promise ring he gave him the day before, a match set to his own ring on his finger.

“Am I interrupting? Third wheeling?” Chinhwa joked which earned a chuckle out of Hyunsuk.

“Whoa.. I’m just amazed. I… speechless I guess and that’s rare.” Jihoon never looked away even as he closed the show.

“Well that’s our show… I hope everyone enjoyed scaling the tower with us.” He waved to the main camera on him as the recording finished. Chinhwa’s wife behind everything turned everything off saying everything went well.

As Hyunsuk gathered his bag and things Jihoon being as clingy as ever draped his body on him.

“That poem you wrote it?”

“Of course. I wrote it while we were in Busan.. I guess I felt really in love with you even if your eyes were red from pool chlorine.” He turned in his arms with a smile.

“That’s why everyone says your a sweetie.. Sukkie hyung… I really had fun today. You have a real talent for hosting. You’re so passionate about your own show.”

“Well I’m a mega fan remember?” He cheesed at him.

“I admire that about you. What’s with your grin?” Jihoon laughed.

“I just really like what you’re wearing.” Hyunsuk looped his arms around his waist. His hands pushing up the back of the leather jacket.

“As long as dressing as Sung makes you happy.”

“You make me happy Jihoon-ah. I really mean it.” He reluctantly let go.

“My press tour’s over. You were my last interview. Let’s make plans tonight. Want to be wined and dined?” Jihoon took out his phone.

“I want pork belly.” He took his hand guiding him out. “The place next to the parlor!”

Jihoon laughed in disbelief. “Seriously?!”

“Yeah seriously!” He pulled him down the graveled car park to the van waiting for them. Some of the locals who were around minding their day gasped when they saw the two. They weren’t that far from the city’s epicenter with the barn being right outside a suburb.

Even with the costume and eyes on both of them as they made it to the BBQ place and they settled into the simplicities that they could enjoy together. Drowning out the eyes and noise. Jihoon was the only person in his world. Nothing else could drag his attention away. Not even the meat and smoke between them.

Content was exactly the proper word for his current state. Hyunsuk didn’t expect the life that he now had, but he wouldn’t change a single thing. He had a clearer mind, stability, and love like a dream that kept him interlocked with Jihoon, who in his heart was his soulmate.

He was honestly happy.

Chapter Text

Hyunsuk didn’t cook much, but he learned a thing or two during this sabbatical he was taking. He was surprised that things were turning out to taste well, considering this was his third try. Being in Los Angeles, he didn’t know yet really all the good traditional Korean food spots well. There were, of course, plenty of fried chicken places or places for street food, but he needed something hearty for Jihoon.

He didn’t bother with the unknown kitchens he wasn’t familiar with since all he at as of late were American staple foods, so he focused on picking up the skill of cooking.

Seasickness was kicking Jihoon’s ass and Hyunsuk hated that in two or three in the morning his lover would come home looking pale and sickly along with tired eyes. His face looked so dull and slightly dehydrated every time.

Gun Tower: Gun Ship, the third sequel to the Gun Tower series, was in current production and some of the scenes had been shot out in the rocky Pacific Ocean, and Jihoon had told him that he and his cast mates could barely get through some scenes without someone emptying their stomach over the railing. Jihoon was fairing pretty badly. One of his costars finally broke and begged the director to shoot the other half indoors. They were going to move productions to Sky Studios outside London, hence why Jihoon was in their Marmont penthouse recovering. 

Hyunsuk was going to join him in London, but for now, he was busy making Jook with chicken and a hint of ginger to ease his lover’s stomach. He stirred and took a taste. It wasn't exactly the most flavorful, but it needed to be easy on the stomach.

Hyunsuk brought a bowl to the balcony where Jihoon was lying on a patio lounger with the most pathetic expression.

“I figured you don't want anything heavy… even though you only eat baked chicken breast anyway.. But you need to eat.” Hyunsuk sat the bowl on the small table beside Jihoon. The actor didn’t acknowledge the bowl, frowning.
“I still feel like my stomach was scooped out, Sukkie..”

Hyunsuk frowned. This was not at all like Jihoon, and it’s been about a day and a half since he’d been out to sea. He felt his head to see if he had a fever or not, and he was burning up badly.

“Hoonie.. You might have caught something…”

“Amber… you know the actress from the ‘Brunettes’? She’s new on the cast, but she had the flu.. That might be it.. “ Jihoon mumbled looking up at him, his eyes looking round like a sad Samoyed puppy.

“Even more reason to eat this porridge.. Just try to eat a little.” Hyunsuk looked over the balcony down to the busy sidewalk below. “I’ll be right back.” He hurried out of the room before Jihoon could protest. 

He put on one of Jihoon’s hoodies and took the key and quickly made his way down to the lobby and out onto the street. Hyunsuk tried keeping his face as obscured with the hood as much as possible as he made his way to find medicine and a flu test for Jihoon to take.

The massive pharmacy five blocks away made his head spin as he ran around getting medication just in case and the test. Jogging all the back to the Marmont and their place, swinging open the door and trying to find Jihoon. He wasn’t on the balcony when he came in but he saw an empty bowl in the center of the island. Hyunsuk smiled, picking up the bowl and disposing of it for the time being in the sink. Jihoon ate everything rather quickly. He’d been gone for only twenty minutes. 

When he went up the stairs, he took the hoodie off, still searching for his lover. “Hoonie?”

“Hmm?” Hyunsuk heard him from the bathroom. He quietly shuffled into the room, not expecting to see Jihoon getting into the large whirlpool bathtub, submerging himself like a seal bobbing in a pool with its eyes closed.

“Do you still feel bad, Hoonie?” He peered from around the shower with worry in his eyes.

“Only a little..” He didn’t sound as weak as earlier, but he still approached the tub and knelt on the floor, resting his chin on the edge just  taking in Jihoon’s face. Trying to find something to indicate that he was fully telling the truth about how he was feeling and not sugar coating it for his sake.

Jihoon was getting better at truly expressing himself to him without trying to make himself seem perfect.

Hyunsuk reached his hand out to push back and stroke his wet hair.
“I got you medicine.. And we need to make sure it isn’t the flu.”

Jihoon leaned into the touch, slowly opening his eyes. With how round and shiny his eyes looked his breath was sucked from his lungs. Hyunsuk really wanted to kiss him, but he might have been contagious. He’d already exposed himself to him, and they are connected at the hip most of the time, so it was only a matter of time before he got sick as well.

He sat up on his knees to lean over and kiss him, moving his lips in the gentle way that Jihoon enjoyed.

“You’re gonna get sick, hyung.” Jihoon protested. Hyunsuk shrugged his shoulders before sinking back to the floor, leaning against the cool porcelain. He didn’t want to leave,e still worried.

“Are you just going to sit there, Sukkie hyung? Aren’t you bored?” Jihoon asked, showing even more how much of a huge baby he was by pouting at him. If only his fans could see this really cute side of Park Jihoon. He was jealous of his own self for even witnessing such a sight.

Hyunsuk shook his head no. “I’m still worried about you… I’d just worry in the other room.”

“You love me that much?” The smile and the way his eyes became half moons warmed him all the way through, from his torso down to his toes. It was absolutely indescribable.

“God, yeah, I do love you that much, and I wanna give you this test so we know for sure.” He stood up, turning away to rub his own cheeks to calm down and get the flu test from the counter. He then began the process of giving it. Reading the instructions, concentrating on the big wall of English text on the page, and taking swabs for his lover.

“It'll take a couple of minutes… Would you like more jook?” He couldn't stop his lips from wanting to form a smile. He was extremely happy about Jihoon eating what he made.

“Actually.. Yeah.”

Hyunsuk quickly hopped up and nearly slipped and fell on the way out of the room and down the stairs to try to remember what he did that didn’t burn the edges of the porridge the fourth time.

He washed everything and started from scratch. What made cooking so difficult for him was his fear of using the stovetop. This was the first time in a long time that he did, and his heart felt like a rodent heart beating so uncontrollably fast. Luckily, the dish was fairly easy and he replicated what he did again. When Hyunsuk had the bowl ready, he glanced up to see Jihoon sitting at the island watching him with a smile.

“Ah– when did you get down here?”

“About fifteen minutes ago. You’ve been clanking around down here for thirty minutes.” Jihoon laughed.

“Also, I don’t think I have the flu.. At least that's what the test said.”

“Good because we’ve been sharing germs..” Hyunsuk pouted.

“Is it really my fault, though?” Jihoon tilted his head, amused. Taking the bowl Hyunsuk handed him.

“I didn’t realize how much I’ve been starving since the first bowl.. Sukrangie-Sukkie, cook for me more often, okay?” He glanced up before his spoonful.

Hyunsuk was completely at a loss for words. He nodded instead.

“I’m proud of you.”

Those are the words that hit him in the face at full force. His eomma told him that before, but never anyone else, and Jihoon said it really felt heavy to him.

He twisted the large soup spoon in his hand, not knowing what to respond with, dropping it noisily in the process. 

“I’m gonna finish packing for London.” He glanced at Jihoon’s amused expression before placing the spoon in the sink and hurrying, escaping up the stairs to the bedroom. He didn’t want to look at his reflection in the mirror when he passed it while entering the room, knowing he was bright red.

He went to tug his suitcase to the center of the floor, but slumped over it.

“God..” He exhaled. Even when the guy was sick, Hyunsuk swooned over him. He wondered if he could take four months of constantly being shot in the heart by repeated love arrows from Jihoon.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

London was dreary and rainy all the time, and Hyunsuk constantly had the sniffles. He had a freak-out before coming because he thought he had lost his visa information and passport, but it was quickly found.

He also got lost trying to head back to their extended suite after trying to find something to eat that wasn’t pub food.

Four days after landing, he barely saw Jihoon, and the effects of not seeing him were taking its toll. The only way Hyunsuk could describe what he was feeling was starving to be touched. They didn’t do much during the first set of filming for the actor. He was famished and irritable.

He still did his secondary job too by recording and editing for his remotely shot podcast really showed his mood. The live feed after upload came flooding in, saying he was really hyper during the stream. Hyunsuk really was wound up, and he tried to find other things to do instead of drinking, even though getting wasted was tempting. The artist just really wanted Jihoon to touch him.

A Thursday night of him drawing collages of sketches that he either wanted to put in his tattoo menu or create as prints was almost erratic.

He’d been so uncontrollably riled up that when Jihoon’s Kakao notification popped up at the top, saying ‘What are you up to today, Sukkie? I might leave after a couple more scenes.

‘Horny.’

That was all he replied with. He tried to continue drawing, but like he said, he was worked up and in need of Jihoon wrapped around him. He twisted and turned, not wanting to give in to his needs until Jihoon arrived, but he couldn’t help himself. Hyunsuk touched his own heated skin, closing his eyes, imagining his lover's hands touching the flat stomach up to his pectorals, softly keening because of the teasing touch, drawing his legs up as he pushed his other hand under his shirt, shivering.

When Hyunsuk opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling, he pleaded to whatever higher power to have Jihoon hurry up. That maroon colored alien claw device the actor showed him months ago, while laughing at its strange shape that they skipped out on using in bed, the artist brought it with him without Jihoon knowing.

The shape was weird and looked like a puffy claw. It was ominous in his eyes but he was so horny he would brave it.

Hyunsuk forgot which suitcase he hid it in. He opened each one, remembering that he should be putting his clothing up, but here he was hunched on the ground looking for a sex toy. When he found it eventually in its box behind all his accessories, He heard a door being noisily opened. 

“Jagiya!” Jihoon loudly squealed as he came in, loudly putting his things down in the foyer. 

“Sukkie? I need an explanation!” He heard him fast approaching. Hyunsuk tried to quickly put the toy back in the box and hide it, but Jihoon was quicker, finding him wide-eyed and red, fumbling.

“What’s that? Did you bring that? Really? Through customs?” Jihoon stood in the doorway in disbelief.

“I-”

“You.. were you about to...” His surprised face turned into a pout. “Without me here?”

“I didn’t know if I actually wanted to Hoonie.. It looks kinda creepy.” Hyunsuk handed the box to Jihoon.

“Nah- it’s not that strange, this part goes deep inside and this part clamps behind your balls and that's the button. See?” He pointed it out while Hyunsuk covered his eyes, embarrassed by having the toy in the first place and the words he was hearing.

“Hyung, get on the bed.. Let me...” Jihoon stood up, beginning to take off all his jewelry and belt, making Hyunsuk even hotter and bothered. Everything he did was sexy. When he realized the actor was stripping his clothing as well, he began to take off his Redlights pajama set and climbed on the bed. Jihoon wasn’t far behind, climbing between his spread-open legs.

“You can’t just drop that bomb suddenly when just asking how your day’s going by the way. ‘Horny’ is a descriptor for your mood, not your day.” He gripped his thighs, biting and kissing the sensitive skin on his inner thigh.

“Hey… I was horny all day then.. I just couldn’t pinpoint it.” He gasped when Jihoon used his thumbs to spread and play with his hole. The sensitivity of the area made his toes curl. 

“We haven’t had sex for what feels like a month now, Hoonie..” He complained, trying not to sound whiny, but he was frustrated.

“Then I’ll make sure to play nicer..” His smirk said otherwise as he grabbed the lubricant he had lying on the bed and coated his fingers. His lips moved along the base of his erection as he slipped his middle finger inside him slowly.

“You said you weren’t going to be mean..” He gasped from the torturously slow and barely there sensation of the actor’s lips.

“You’re so impatient, Sukkie! We’re just getting started, okay?” He added another finger and began stretching. Hyunsuk winced at how rough it was from it being a while.

“Jihoon..” He moaned once it started feeling good again. “Jihoonie, I might already..” He warbled out a moan, throwing his head back.

“Already hyung? Hold out a little…” He felt the actor’s smiling lips against his knee. His fingers curling inside him and dragging in and out. “You’re gonna crush my fingers if you keep squeezing..”

“Feels good.. Sorry.” He bit his lip, pushing against the fingers to go deeper.

“Hmm.. let’s finish one time before we try your ‘alien claw’.” Jihoon teased,  wrapping his fist around his rigidness, making him pulse in his palm along with fidgeting against the top comforter. He stroked him in time with his penetrating fingers.

Hyunsuk nearly wacked Jihoon in the face when he reached for him, he needed something to dig his hands in and grasp. His sputtering laugh turned into a moan as Jihoon squeezed gently.

“Why are you beating me up?” He laughed.

“Sorry.. Just- ah!” He scrambled to grab the headboard, but it was flat. He moaned, frustrated and close.

“Ah! Jihoon!” His legs trembled, not giving the actor any warning as he came with a gasp. Hyunsuk released a whiny exhale when he watched Jihoon lick his spend from his hand.

“God.” The artist twisted his body to the side, feeling a tingle and twitch between his legs, the smoldering look in Jihoon’s eyes making him still pulse, attempting to grow hard again because of his lover. He needed a minute. 

“Hey hyung, wanna see a magic trick?” Jihoon's little giggle and mischievous tone worried him.

“Huh? What magic trick?” Hyunsuk mumbled.

“You see this?” Jihoon waved the lube-up toy in his face, which he just stared at. His brain was still sloppy goo in his skull from his previous orgasm. He just stared with probably the goofiest smile on his face.

“Now you see it-”

His eyes bugged in shock when he felt something slowly enter him. The phallic end of the toy... It was oblong and strange, nestled against his prostate while two silicon ends clamped behind his testicles, causing an unfamiliar pressure.

“Now you don’t!” Jihoon slid up his side to wrap his arm around his waist and kiss and bite along his sternum excitedly.

“What the hell… Why does it feel like that, Hoonie?” He asked, slightly worried it would hurt him and crush his balls or something just from the pressure alone.

“Want me to take it out? Is it bad?” 

“Hmm? …It feels good, I guess.. I don’t know, but it does.. It feels like a chicken foot..”

Jihoon, without warning, burst into a fit of laughter. Cackling uncontrollably.
“What makes you think that it’s what a chicken foot feels like?!” He ruffled Hyunsuk’s sweaty hair.

“I don’t know but.. Do something.. Turn it on or something.” His breathing got heavy, and he was slowly growing aroused again despite the strangeness.

“Okay, cutie, hang on.” 

Hyunsuk wanted to be more embarrassed by how eager and curious he was, but he was more so melting into Jihoon’s embrace. The actor reached his hand between his legs and found the button and the vibration right away, which almost launched him into the headboard.

“Jihoon! “ He slurred his name, wrapping his arms around his lover's shoulders, squirming. He managed to open his eyes, seeing Jihoon grinning like an evil villain who had finally caught the good guy in his trap. He was having way too much fun. A part of him missed the soft and sweet cutie who he fed jook to a couple of days ago. This was the opposite, with his alien toy and hard penis throbbing against his pelvis, His teeth attacking his throat whole pinching his pert nipple. Hyunsuk was being attacked on all ends.

Even though they never delved into any real S&M activities, this was straddling the line with how much joy from his twitching, groaning, and twisting in his arms Jihoon got. The hum of the vibrations attacking directly on his buttons, all the while the harrowing grip on his balls not letting his body build or reach completion. Delightful torture.

“Hoonie.. I wanna touch you too..” He held onto him by the nape of his neck, suppressing a moan as he gasped. “God..”

Jihoon kissed along the sharp hinge of his jawbone. “Go ahead. I want you to touch me.” He whispered, sending a chill through his entire body. He rolled, pulling the actor on top of him, grasping both their arousal together in his hand and squeezing. Hyunsuk slipped his tongue past his beloved’s gasping lips, tentatively kissing while his hips jerked up. His lewd moaning was muffled by his tongue teasing Jihoon’s while the man rutted against him. His control falling apart.

“I can kind of feel the vibration…. Uhng hyung- I wanna be inside..” He complained before nipping and biting his collarbone. His teeth pinched his skin.

“Then take it out and fuck me..” He demanded with neediness and vulgarity, rolling his head back.

Only briefly pulling away to remove the phallic end. The vibration now heavy against his testes as Jihoon pulled his pelvis up by his hips and, without warning, plunged deep in him, making him gasp and grab the actor's wrists, wrapping his legs around him tightly.

No respite or adjustment, just right away slamming in and out of him. Thrusting fast, getting lost in a haze of intense pleasure.

“Hyung, so-... You’re so soft and tight–! Hey.. hyungie- can I finish inside today?” He asked for permission, short of breath, and Hyunsuk was overtaken with how hard he was starting to go, never stopping to take a moment to breathe.

Hyunsuk couldn't comprehend a single word as his eyes rolled back on the verge of feeling like he might black out.

“Hyung - come on!” Jihoon moaned, bending over him, twisting out of Hyunsuk’s hold, and turning things around by grasping his wrists, pinning them to the mattress.

Hyunsuk cried out at the deeper shift inside him, grunting out a breathy ‘yes’.

“Ah Jihoon! I can’t! It’s - Take it off, it's too much!” The actor fumbled with the device, still loosely attached, taking it off, never stopping his aggressive pace in the process. His sweat was dripping from his temple down to his chin.

“You’re so hot, hyung.. Sukkie hyu- ah…” He moaned. “Are you close- I’m really close--”

The more he leaned over, the deeper he went, licking and biting at Hyunsuk’s bottom lip as he moaned so loudly he was pretty sure the whole building could hear him and his lover.

“Shit- Jihoon!” He cried out as he climaxed for the second time messily on his own chest, squeezing Jihoon between his thighs and his hole along with them. Feeling his lover's pulse deep inside once, then twice, then the familiar hot full feeling making his stomach feel funny. The actor's hips jerked as he groaned and shivered.

“Hyung..” He mumbled before kissing him.

They haven’t had that explosive of sex in a while, truly. The room was stuffy and humid, and their ragged breathing, along with the faint buzzing from the toy now on the floor, made a giggle bubble out of Hyunsuk.

After catching his breath and pushing back his hair, Jihoon climbed off him and picked the toy off the floor, wiggling it in Hyunsuk’s face while making alien noises. Hyunsuk lazily lifted his leg to half-heartedly push him away with his foot against his chest.

“Stop it.”

Jihoon did as he was told, going into the bathroom to clean up and probably find something for himself.

He glanced at the door before reaching down and touching where they were previously connected. Still sensitive. Wetness was leaking from him. Gasping from how much there was again.

“Holy..” He could feel himself at half mast, throbbing to life for a third time. “Seriously?”

“Hey hyung, do you want me to help with..” Jihoon’s words died when he saw Hyunsuk pushing his fingers inside himself.

The swear that left the artist’s lips was the last thing he heard the actor say before he was pounced on again.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

“Ooooo- hoo hoo hoo Asahi? What are you grinning about? Huh?” Hyunsuk sat on the podcast set in a Victorian recliner in a ridiculously big Bown of London smokers jacket. His icy blonde hair slicked back while holding a Cuban cigar. The get-up was for a bit where he read fan-submitted fiction about Gun Tower. Every time Asahi glanced at him, he looked like he was holding back his laughter.

Hyunsuk swirled the brandy he held in a crystal glass. “What?” He pouted.

“I’m just happy you’re in really good spirits, hyung, and you know why I’m truly smiling.. Stop it.” He waved him away.

“Is he coming back for good or just to visit you?” Hyunsuk crossed his legs really delving into the role of a billionaire with too many questions.

“He’s coming back for good… Said he regretted everything. That he loves me… still.” Asahi shrugged.

Hyunsuk’s lower lip trembled. Tears threatened to well up.

“See, this is why you can’t tell him anything, Sahi.” Jihoon came stomping around the set like he was raiding the place. “You’re making hyungie cry.” He furrowed his eyebrows, stopping in his tracks.

“Hyung, why do you have a cigar?”

“It’s a prop, all of this for a bit. Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t smoke it. See, don’t I look cool? And look.” Hyunsuk pointed with the cigar to the electric fireplace display.

“That thing actually works.. We didn’t turn it on because it started broiling me.” He unconsciously took a sip of the brandy, instantly regretting it. Almost spitting it out.

Jihoon laughed. “Hyung, I got a script for something here.. I’m still taking some smaller roles, and KBS wants me to do a three-part drama.. It’s a romcom. I'm not the main lead, or second lead, or anything, just a cameo appearance.”

“Well, that’s great, Hoonie.. But why are you telling me so seriously?”

“They want you to cameo too.” Jihoon grinned.

“Want me to act?!” He almost dropped the glass of brandy.

“Do you think you can?” Jihoon leaned over him in the chair, touching his forehead against his.

“I don’t know, I guess I could try.. But.. wait, will I get some sort of acting credit?” 

“More than likely, hyung.” Jihoon chuckled before stepping back. “Think about it.” He took the cigar and downed the rest of the brand,y wincing and gagging.

Hyunsuk really wanted to do it, but he was so scared. It was a small cameo. Barely one line.

“Fuck it..” He sighed, quickly texting the agent to let her know he was on board. There was no turning back.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

His one outfit with his own flair, Jihoon by his side, in the scene where he could also keep him focused. It was for laughs. Joke that was kind of cliche, but fans of Gun Tower for sure would laugh. The male lead with the female protagonist would run into them in Busan. A comment about the odds of running into another character was the same odds of running into ‘Ji-Suk’ as the news outlets called them, In a boardwalk crowd.

The handsome actor and pretty actress would run into them literally.

A ‘Hey!’ and a ‘Seriously?’ in Jihoon’s dialect. The joke had layers. The sun shining down during filming was pretty killer, and the make-up department made sure he was coated in sunscreen. It still felt like he was roasting alive as they waited around.

“Hey, squinting your pretty eyes like that will create forehead wrinkles,” Jihoon mumbled to him.

He knew exactly what to say still flustered him. He used his hands to create a visor and shield his eyes.

“You’re eyes are extra pretty today.” He complimented his lover.

“Well, I think they used mascara…” Jihoon leaned in to look curiously. He smelt really good, It combated the strong scent of the ocean they were over.

The director called everyone into position. They had to snap out of their little bubble and work.

They ran the scene at least five times to get it right from the correct angles. Both Jihoon and Hyunsuk turn in unison to complain about being bumped. When the director called cut for the fifth time, they were thanked for joining the episode. Jihoon bowed and smiled, telling the man it was no big deal.

Hyunsuk bowed, confused.

“That’s it?” He asked Jihoon who put an arm around his shoulder, squeezing as they stepped away from all the extras, cameras, and crew to get out of the way while they reset for another scene.

“Yup, sometimes it’s just like that. You did good, Sukkie-Baby.”

He gently nudged Jihoon’s side with his elbow, smiling shyly. “You taught me a lot.. Even though the scene wasn’t much. I feel better now that it's over.” 

The rest of that day, they enjoyed their time on the beach, reminiscing about Madagascar.

When the time came, months after filming that scene, Hyunsuk waited until Jihoon was available to watch the scene with him. They started watching from episode one of the drama.

To the artist’s surprise, he really liked the show and found it funny. He was caught by surprise when he saw himself on screen beside Jihoon.

“Pretty! Look at you, handsome! You’re so hot when you look annoyed!” Jihoon gushed, slapping his arm. Hyunsuk instantly turned red and almost threw his bowl of popcorn at him.
“You..” He laughed.

“A natural at acting.” Jihoon wrapped himself around him like a sloth on a tree.

“Jihoon?” He looked at the paused screen where the two of them stood together with the action star’s protective arm in front of him in the scene.

“Hmm?” Jihoon’s finger affectionately massaged the back of his head and scalp, making him melt.

“I’m glad I met you.”