Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bruce was in his room, lying in his bed as catwoman stood outside his window. He had been sleeping with her for a while now, to block out the feelings towards his arch enemy that he recently found out he had been having for a long while now. He watched her leave and sighed heavily.

This had helped at first, But as time went on it only got worse. Joker had went after catwoman thrice, after finding out about his secret affairs with her and that was a huge part of the problem. He had promised to buy catwoman things that she would normally steal, it would stop her from stealing whatever it was and it would help distract his mind too, he connsidered it a win-win.

But after joker attempted to kill her thrice in just a week, she was hesitant, but he promised he would protect her from joker like he did when joker attacked before.

It has been 3 days since joker last attempted to kill catwoman, bruce was worried that the clown will strike again soon, especially now that his feelings towards him were growing, not that joker knew about his feelings, he can't fight him like this. Joker's possesive actions made him feel good in a twisted kind of way.

He sighed again, as he realized his thoughts wandered off to joker again. He got up and went into his bathroom that was attached to his room, turned on the shower as he stood under it, already naked.

The water ran from the top of his head to the tips of his toes and down the drain, he slicked his hair back as he allowed himself to relax under the comfort of the warm water that ran down his body, pulling his head back as he took a deep breath, in and out. He felt himself calm down, his mind was clear, without any thought of the emerald green eyes that looked at him like he was the only thing that mattered. Those pale lips, coted with several layers of lipstick, the soft and fluffy green hair that he ached to get his hands on again, but not to pull on it to cause pain, but to run his fingers through.

He groaned as he realized that he was thinking about his arch enemy in such ways again, it disgusted him how he thought of the man who had killed hundreds of people in this way and the most shaming of all is that he doesn't want to stop, doesn't want to stop thinking about him.

Chapter Text

Bruce was on patrol when he saw a flash of green in the corner of his vision, he came to a halt as he realized what or who that could possibly be. His heart raced at the mere thought of the clown, he took a deep breath to suppress his emotions and composed himself so he was ready to swing towards the direction he saw what was possibly the green, his greatest enemy.

He could be wrong, of course. It could be Poison ivy, the ridler or even killer croc. But how he wished it was the clown, the clown's presence made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, blood would rush up to his face everytime joker came close to his face while fighting or to tease batman, but not that anyone but bruce himself knew that, of course. His cowl would hide the blush that would crawl up his face no matter how much he tried to suppress it.

Bruce shook his head, getting rid of his thoughts regarding clown for the time being. "this is no time to fantize. I need to catch him before he gets away." he mumbled to himself as he shot his grappling hook and swung across the road.

He looked around for the clown as he got down from the building, jumping into an alley way. He was so sure that he saw something move at the corner of his vision. He quickly turned towards where he saw movement and searched for the criminal, but there was nothing. He bit the insides of his cheeks, looking around for any sign of movement.

He felt a tap on his shoulder from behind and turned immediately, but there was nothing.

He turned back to where he was previously looking and suddenly, he saw a face in front of him, he jerked back, taken by surprise.

Joker giggled sweetly, his hands folded behind him, he took a step towards batman and booped his cowl right where his nose was. "Boop! You found me! Now it's your turn to hide!" joker said as he came closer just as batman backed away, batman was now against one of the walls of the alley, joker's nose almost touching his own as he stood on his tip toes.

"What's wrong darling~? Not ready to play~?" joker asked as he placed a hand atop batman's chestplate. Bruce tensed up, his whole body felt hot and he was trying so hard not to reverse their positions and steal joker's lips with his own in a kiss, he scowled as he did so. "Aww that's too bad~ i was hoping we could dance a little~" joker said leaning in.

Bruce's breath hitched as he felt like bats were fluttering inside his lungs, he balled his hands into fists so he would'nt pull joker in for a kiss right here and right now.

"Joker. I don't have time for this." bruce said, he needed to gat away because he felt as if his heart would jump out of his body through his mouth. "But Why? Don't you want to spend time with me?" Joker practically snarled at him, his breath mixing with bruce's because of the closeness of their faces.

Bruce pushed joker back, surprised by the clown's sudden change in behavier. "What's wrong with you?" bruce asked with a growl.

"What's wrong with me? Batsy, my darling, do you hear yourself? Everything is wrong with me. Don't you know that!?" joker exclaimed as he started to laugh, bruce pushed him against the other wall and took joker's collar in his hand.

"oh~ batsy~, batsy~, batsy~ you are just so~ kinky, aren't you?" joker said as batman took handcuffs out of his utility belt and puts them on joker's thin and fragile hands with blood rushing to his face.

"I am not." batman growled out as he pulled joker out of the ally, linking their arms together. "you never know until you actually do~ if you know what i mean~" joker said as he looked up at batman and winked. Bruce's blush deepened under his cowl as he turned his face away from the clown and activated his earpiece, calling the GCPD.

"Hello? Batman? Is something wrong?" inspector gordon asked from the other side of the call. "inform Arkham that joker is coming back." he finnished quickly. "alright. I'll tell them to be prepared." gordon said as the call ended.

"Aww~ but i didn't even do anything this time~ and most importantly, we didn't even play today! No dance, not even a single punch. Hmp!" joker said with a pout.

'cute.' bruce thought and immediately shook his head. He walked towards the batmobile instead of getting it to come here and pick them up for reasons he would die before letting anyone find out.

"Batsy~" joker called him, but bruce pretended that he didn't hear him and kept walking, still looking straight ahead. "Batsy?" joker asked, bruce ignored him and kept walking.

"Batsy!" joker tried again but to no luck as bruce ignored him again. Bruce side-eyed joker and noticed that his cheeks were puffed now. Bruce immediately looked away in the other direction with a snort but he coughed to cover up his slip. It took everything in him to suppress the smile that tried to force itself onto his lips.

"bats, are you okay? Do you have a cold or somethin' ?" joker asked. "yes. I am completely fine." came the reply from bruce. He bit his lips as he finally turned to look at joker. Joker slowly walked with him, his lean legs that made up half of his hight taking small steps forward.

Joker looked adorable with his small pout and head tilted to the side. Bruce immideately turned away, his body became more hotter the more time he spent around his nemesis.

"Well 'kay then, but you kinda do look a bit hot, not that you're not already and always hot but that's the other hot- y'know what i mean? I mean that you're sweating a lot, just in case you don't actually know what i mean, y'know? Wait uh- y'know what? Nevermind that, just ignore everything i just said." joker said as he turned away with an awkward smile.

Bruce averted his eyes from glancing at joker, he definitely needed to go now. This was too cute, hearing the joker ramble wasn't new or rare, at least to someone who is constantly around him.

But Those were the times he was most open about his thoughts, he seemed so normal, so human. Those little things joker did were his motivation to keep going, to keep trying, giving him hope that he could be saved. Those little things joker did also made bruce have these feelings for the clown, even if they aren't the only reason, they made his feelings grow.

He needed to get Selena to help him again today, this was too much. He saw a police car in front of a cafe and two officers standing close to it with a coffee cup in each of their hands. 'that's it! I could hand joker over to them and go back to the cave!' bruce thought as he quickened his pace, dragging joker along.

Joker yelped and walked faster to match batman's speed. Bruce stopped in front of the two officers and they both noticed batman and joker. "batman!" they exclaimed in unision as they stood stiffly.

"i need you to drop joker off at arkham. I have something to do right now." batman said in his usual cold tone as he pushed joker forward and let go of his arm. He quickly took his grappling hook out and shot it at a building and made his exit.

He looked down at the three and saw joker standing outside the car with a pout, refusing to get in as an officer got into the driver's seat, he started the car as the lights turned on and another officer was trying to get him to get inside by attempting to pushing him inside, but she failed as he didn't move an inch.

"They'd manage. probably." bruce said to assure himself and headed back to the cave.

Chapter Text

Bruce sat up in his bed, unable to sleep. It has been two days since he last saw joker, he acted so irresponsible and selfish, even when alfred told him that what he did wasn't worng, that they were able to get joker back to arkham safely, it was his job to deal with the villains because the police couldn't handle them. There was every possibility for things to go wrong because of his decision.

His feelings were really hard to deal with. He needed to do something about them, but he didn't know what.

There was an alarm from his phone, indicating an escape in arkham. He got up and rushed to the batcave immediately.

Chapter Text

Joker was scribbling on a piece of paper with a red crayon, provided by arkham, when he heard the alarms go off. "Ooh~, looks like batsy's got work to do today~" he said to himself and giggled.

He turned the paper over and drew the bat-symbol and a heart next to it, he then sighed dramatically as he sprawled his limbs on the white floors of the asylum.

He giggled to himself for a second, then stoped with a grim expression on his face. "Could it be the cat? Could my batsy possibly spending time with Her than with Me?" he snarled and crushed the crayon in his hand.

Chapter Text

Bruce swung across the rooftops of gotham as he chased the riddler, the man had just broken out of arkham so he only wanted to get away, but bruce would stop him.

Batman landed in front of him as edward came to a sudden halt "Damn you, batman!" he grunted and turned to run the other way, but batman landed a kick right on his stomach, and as the man staggered back in pain, clutching his stomach, bruce punched him right in his face.

Riddler groaned and fell back, his vision blurry. Batman took out handcuffs from his utility belt, edward attempted to headbutt him, but failed as the vigilante moved out of the way. Batman put the cuffs on the man, making it so that his hands were bound behind his back and took him toward the oncoming police cars as riddler cursed in defeat.

"Good work as allways, batman." Said commissioner jim gordon, his friend and ally from the police force. "take him back to arkham, make sure he doesn't escape again." Bruce said to him. "Of course. We are all trying our best." gordon said and sighed, of course bruce knew that, but they keep escaping despite everything.

He took out his grappling hook and shot it towards a nearby roof and swung away without another word, which both him and gordon are used to by now.

Right then, alfred called him through the comms and bruce answered once he landed.

"Alfred?" he asked through his ear piece. "It seems that arkham has had another breakout, master bruce." his butler answered and bruce groaned. "I just caught Nygma." he answered, annoyed. "I take it you won't make it for dinner then." alfred said and bruce hummed in affirmation. And with that, the call ended.

Bruce proceeded to go towards where he had parked the batmobile.

Chapter Text

Bruce rushed to get to Arkham, hoping to get to whoever's escaped as soon as he could so he could go back home and get some much needed sleep.

He got closer to his destination, as the faint sound of sirens going off reached his ears; but just as he was about to shoot his grappling hook at the next building, he saw that same speck of green in the corner of his vision.

'He's escaped already?' The Bat thought to himself, tierdly. That might mean he'd have to spend all night with the clown. He was too sleepy at the moment to think straight, so there was no way this could end well for him.

He landed a good few feet behind the clown, making sure not to let the other notice his presence; and followed him for a few minutes, watching thin limbs flay around in the cold night air, and hearing huffs of laughter leaving the man's pale lips; he was unmistakably breathless.

The Clown came to an abrupt stop; fumbling. Then he started panting, slouching forward and gripping his own thighs to balance himself, seeming to still sway on his feet a little as he did.

Batman watched as beads of sweat slid down Joker's pale face, before deciding it was time to finally step in.

He came out from the shadows behind the shorter man, and made his presence known by simply stepping closer. "Joker." He murmured to the wind, but the other heard him well.

There was an almost inaudible gasp, followed by a dash of green across his vision; as Joker snapped his head towards him.

"Woah! Darling! Just the bat I was looking for!" He huffed out another breath or two, "Look's like youv'e Finally found me!", With a small chuckle, he fully turned his body to face Batman. "Took ya long enough!",
The make-up-less clown moved, leaning against the wall for a little support, looking into the cowl's eyes with that damned smile.

"Hn. I don't have time for this, Joker." He grunted with blood rushing to his face, but knew it wouldn't actually matter to the other man if he had time to deal with him or not. The Joker craved Batman's sole attention for himself, and cared about nothing else.

But he was surprised to see the clown's smile turn upside down, and noticed that his eyebrows narrowed, with something cold stirring up in his neon green eyes.

"Oh? Don't you now?", he practically sneered at him, making him pause. That was new.

"Why, is little catsy waiting back at home for the dark knight to return from battle?" He brought his free hand up to his slim hips and gripped tightly at the orange fabric of his Arkham pants.

"That's none of your conce- ..ern. The bat was quick to come to his own defence, but stopped himself short as his words gradually became closer to hesitant whispers than his usual clear and confident voice.

Maybe he should stop tiptoeing around this. Maybe he should stop putting Selina in danger because of his own cowardice to confront his own feelings. Maybe he should take a more direct approach to his little... problem.

"Oh yeah? Is that what you think?" Joker snapped at him, leaning closer to the bat's face.

"Batsy, dearest, love of my life, My Darling. I hate to pop your little bubble, but if it's got anything to do with you, then it's got everything to do with Me." A manic grin splitting his face as he basically growled, and pushed himself off the wall; coming closer to the Bat to hold both sides of the his face in his gloveless hands.

The touch of their bare skins was electrifying; Joker's hands cold against his exposed jaws.

And his choice of words. Oh how they crawled into his mind, heart, and-

every fibre of his body,- echoing; again and again.

The white eyes of the cowl stared into the Joker's wide eyes.

And then, he had done it.

Bruce didn't know what came over him, but, in a split second- he leaned in and closed the gap between them.

Joker almost fell backwards in shock with a small gasp, but batman caught him by the waist and pulled him closer, the joker standing rigid in his arms as the sirens got a little too loud, indicating their close proximity.

It was quick; too quick, to register much of how it felt. Barely lasting for a few seconds as Batman pulled back, and much to his own dismay; he realized that Joker had to go back to arkham now.

Meanwile, Joker was frozen and just stared straight ahead, mouth hanging slightly agape.

His pale face became bright red as his brain short circuited, and he wasn't able to process anything at all.

He tried to say something; anything, but he couln't get anything out. He still wasn't able to fully comprehend what had just happened, or if it had even been real.

He gave no fight as batman dragged him off like a rag doll to be handed to the cops. He wasn't even cuffed.

When batman was in the batmobile, driving home, he had realized the possible consequences of what he had done.

He had just Kissed the  Joker; who was obsessed with him and claimed to be madly in love with him.

But, maybe this wasn't all that bad. It certainly didn't feel so. Even though a part him him told him that it should.

Then, he had finally concluded that yes, he was, indeed; In Love. With The Joker. The man who's killed hundreds of people and committed countless crimes. And he didn't feel nearly as repulsed with himself as he should.

He was happy about what he'd done. And he wanted to do it again. And for longer than a few seconds, without any interruptions.

And when he went to bed that night, he felt content with himself; like a huge weight had just been lifted off his shoulders.

The night had gone pretty well, now that he thought about it; and he slowly drifted off into sleep in his soft bed, thinking of how having a certain Green-haired Gremlin in it would add so much to the comfort. And he didn't hate himself for it.

Acceptance is the key to personal growth. He had heard that somewhere. (Probably in therapy, at least that turned out to be good for Something).

And that night, he slept more peacefully than he ever had since his parents' death; and he dreamed of bright green, white lips and warm hugs.

Chapter Text

Batman started the Batmobile, having just dropped off the Penguin at Arkham. Before he left, he felt compelled to look back at the building, and his heart started beating faster.

Joker hadn't escaped again after what had transpired between them, it left Batman worrying about what he'd done. 'Did I do the right thing? What if that was a mistake?-' He shook his head free of the thoughts.

He had stopped his little- escapades with Catwoman- since it was no longer enough to satiate his hunger, now that he'd had a taste; however small, of the real thing.

He still adhered to their little deal, of course; with just a little change on the terms. In exchange for what Bruce did for her, she'd help him in catching the other rouges if she could. That way, he still kept Catwoman from crime (as much as he could) and had a little help dealing with the others.

Things were going quite well for him, but there was one little thing that bothered Bruce. Joker had gone completely silent, not even stirring up small issues at Arkham like he usually did at his every other stay there.

Batman would've been called in to settle them, being the only one that the Clown Prince of Crime ever listened to, although rarely. But that was at least better than having no one to control him at all.

Bruce felt proud of himself for that, even though he'd done nothing in particular to achieve that. That was all thanks to the Clown's own feelings for the Bat.

He had made sure to ask about Joker before exiting the Asylum's premises, but there was nothing.

No threatening doctors, No biting gaurds, no fighting other patients, no trouble at all. He'd even been told that Joker was being as close to obedient as he'd ever been! Although, still unco-operative with their treatment and procedures.

The doctors told him that he didn't laugh anymore; barely spoke, and did nothing but sit in some corner or stare at a wall all day, changing up the wall or his position once in a while; burying his face in his hands at times, when his face would supposedly go red.

And recently, he'd taken to camping out in his bed, laying there with his face burried in his pillow; refusing to get out of his cell even at meal times.

And when he did get out of bed; he'd carry his pillow with him like a lifeline, to bury his face in it.

The doctors were sure that this had something to do with his history of struggling to deal with emotions.

But they couldn't figure anything out since he refused to talk, or even make eye contact with anyone. They'd opted to leaving him be, for a while; as to not provoke him and as well as to see what else he'd do.

And thanks to this 'Observation Period' that they'd put him under, Batman wasn't allowed any visits; since that might meddle with their 'research', supposedly.

Bruce gripped tightly at the steering wheel, feeling his knuckles turn white. 'Could it be because of me? Because of what I did?' He wondered, feeling guilty.

Hearing that the Joker didn't laugh anymore brought a certain tightness to his heart that made him feel uneasy. He didn't like it.

If he can't go see his Joker with their permission, then he'd go without it. After all, he was called a Vigilante for a reason; Besides, He could possibly be the reason for this behavioral shift, so he needed to be the one that fixed it.

He'd be back, soon enough.

Chapter Text

The Joker sat in his cell; his knees drawn up to his chest with a pillow presseed firmly to his face.

He didn't know what to do, or what to say, he felt so very lost.

He felt paralized. Like a deer in the headlights, stuck in one moment, not being able to move onto anything else.

He wanted to run out of here and go to his bat, but also wanted to never see him again. Joker had never felt like that before, not about his bat. He'd always wanted to be near him, have his attention solely to himself.

He didn't know if he had imagined it, or if it had actually, really, legitemately happened.

The Bat- his bat; had kissed him. He felt sick, like his heart would jump out of his mouth, or even explode inside his chest. He felt nauseated.

He didn't think he could even walk properly when he was like this. He Hated this,- whatever this was.

He hated feeling so weak- So utterly Helpless, and when he closed his eyes, he saw the bat's eyes- and he felt himself drowning in them, the white voids.

He'd always been pushed off to the side by the bat, left to desperately try and catch his eyes, to turn his attention onto himself.

Joker loved their little dances, and he'd give anything to keep dancing with his batsy, even if it kills him.

He'd follow the bat to the edge of the world, hell, the End of the Universe! He'd be his bat's forever, and the bat would be his forever. That's what he'd always wanted.

They've always been inside their own little bubble, a world of their own; but  his darling had never been one to acknowledge it, at least not to the point that joker did.

They lived somewhere up in the dark skies of Gotham, above and away from everyone else. It was a long way down, should they ever fall; but if Joker fell, he knew that his darling would catch him; and he'd do the same for him.

And when the music came to an end, when it was time for the curtain call, they'd jump off; Together.

But here's the thing; Batsy had never been one to accept that. He and his goddamn denial- they were always in motion, fighting eachother; physically or psychologically.

They'd play their usual cat and mouse game, or the occasional mind games, but even then; something like this had never happened before.

Truth be told, the Joker had wanted this for a Long time. But now that he'd gotten it, albeit only for a few seconds; he was scared.

He was scared that things would change; and he can't handle this kind of change. Being stuck in Arkham with no distractions, his only pastime was thinking, and that- had never ended well for him. He became tired of thinking, he'd lost the strength to try and leave.

He wanted to be left alone, but he hated having to be alone with his thoughts.

His life was full of contradictions now. And he absolutely hated it. He hated his bats for having so suddenly brought this upon him. But he also wanted to scream in joy, jump up and down and throw the biggest party that the world had ever seen to celeberate this.

But then his mind began to wander, at some point, he began to wonder why the bat would initiate something like that, and on his own.

Joker had just been dragged off to Arkham right after it, frozen in shock and disbelief. By the time his brain was finished processing, he had been locked inside his awful white cell.

His brain was trying to make him a sad clown and the happiest man in the entire world at the same time.

Sometimes; he'd think back to the kiss, feel his face heat up and bury his face into his hands, or more recently, his pillow; and squeal into it like a teenage girl who just had her first kiss and with her crush.

On other occasions, Joker would wonder if the bat had done it to throw him off his rockers to make it easier for him to be brought to Arkham. Considering the Cat situation, he wasn't entirely past that idea. This would make him bury his face in his pillow once more, but only this time because of frustration and anguish.

If this was the bat's new tactic to subdue him, some kind of strategy; Joker would never forgive him, the love of his life or not.

First, he goes off to be with cat lady, and then he exploits Joker's emotions for his own mission. Now that made Joker's blood boil.

But the real pain in his rear, was the fact that he had No idea, what the reason could possibly be.

He hoped that it would be because his batsy was finally starting to realise that they were meant for eachother, but had an awful feeling that the second option was more likely to be true.

He wanted to pull out his hair and scream till he lost his voice, And jump around giggling and smiling like a child who just won a lifetime supply of all things sugar and sweet; At the same time.

It had been so long since he last smiled too, being caught in such a frustratingly complicated internal turmoil. He felt like he just won the lottery for a lifetime supply of tissue paper.

Chapter Text

The Batmobile sped on the roads of Gotham in the dead of night; a little while after his last visit to Arkham, Bruce had hacked into their cameras once again, this time to check up on the Clown Prince Of Crime.

The Bat didn't like what he saw, however; because the Green-haired Gremlin seemed very agitated.

Joker rolled around in his bed, rolled around on the floor of his cell and then settled into a corner to bury his face in the edges of the walls. It seemed as if he was in distress, and was apparently trying to lodge himself between the walls by pressing his body into the space as much as he could.

Something about seeing the clown so...Out of character made the bat feel unsettled. He had wanted to get to him right away, but was prevented by Wayne Enterprises meetings and a lot of other smaller criminal acts.

He stepped on the accelerator even harder now, the pressure almost dammaging it.

He needed to get to joker. And fast. Because somehow, he felt like it was his fault.

He felt guilty now, was he wrong in how he interpreted the flirtations? The body language? Was it all just some kind of Joke, after all?

Maybe he did read too much into it, but there was no mistake in what he saw in the clown's eyes. The way his pupils expanded, just for him.

His pupils would dialate with Love. Never had he seen it with anyone else, not even Harley, it was Only ever for the Bat.

No, there was no mistake. Joker's eyes would soften every now and then, he'd touch the bat so gently, at times and the bat would feel like he'd melt if the hand lingered a little longer.

Joker Loved him. He was sure of it. And...Batman loved him too, now. The Clown should be over the moon right now, that's what Bruce had expected. But this was-

He hit the breaks so fast, the batmobile almost flipped over.

Breath heaving now, from the sudden panic; he finally realized just who had  come in front of the car after the turn.

Joker was breathing heavily, his eyes blown into saucers, his mouth agape and sweat dripping from his forehead in a flood to soak his orange Arkham shirt. He looked momentarily frozen, with his shoulders perking up and leaning back on the balls of his feet, his arms seemed to have flared out, but were now suspended in the air like that.

Both of their hearts started pounding on their ribcages, trying to claw out of their chests. And it was not just because they almost crashed into one another.

Chapter Text

Joker looked with impossibly wide eyes at the vehicle in front of him- like a deer caught in the headlights- and frankly, it was kind of true (minus the part where he's a deer-), Because he was quite literally frozen with fear.

He noticed that Batman was about to get out of the batmobile; so he clicked his mouth shut, turned around swiftly and ran, a distorted smile slipping onto his lips unconciously; his crisis-smile.

He was practically deaf now, his own heartbeat being the only sound he could hear; he ran frantically like a defenceless animal being hunted down by a predator, and he wished he had just stayed at Arkham instead.

"He just Had to show up, didn't he!? That Stupid Batbrain!" He cursed under his breath, running through the maze-like alleys.

He hopped over a trashcan lying knocked down in the middle of the already small and narrow path; which turned out to be a dead end.

"Just. My. Luck." He ground out, annoyed; his voice was barely a whisper, Batman couldn't hear him even if he was nearby. 

He looked around frantically, and saw a fire escape that he could climb on to get to the building's roof. But before he had the chance to, a Batarang flew past his head to lodge itself into the wall in front of him.

The Bat was too close for comfort, even if he were to somehow make his way to the top of the building, Batman would catch up in no time. 

Flight was no longer an option to him; if he really wanted to get away, he'd have to fight. But he wasn't sure if he could do that- he couldn't face the bat- not right now.

He inhaled sharply through his nose, a panicked expression on his face. His eyes were wild and wide with fear, and his crisis-smile became even more distorted as he clenched his teeth to the piont that his jaws hurt.

There was no doubt that Batman was directly behind him now, cautious, observing. And no doubt waiting to see what Joker would do- like he was some rabid animal.

He slowly pulled himself together, he needed to Not be scared right now. But despite knowing what he needed to do, he couldn't stop the fear and anxiety bubbling up in his chest.

But more than anything, he was Confused. Nothing made sense- he felt like a mess. He understood nothing, and his head hurt every time he tried to. He wanted to sort through this- whatever this is- but he just felt so overwhelmed. There was just- So much to consider- it was just too much for him.

He'd never felt as unstable as he did now, and he was The most Unstable individual alive. He was pretty sure this was now his new record, the shrinks probably have everything noted down on neat little notepads already.

Maybe that's also a part of why he finally broke out; he was tired of having people trying to pick him apart on a psychological level like he was some test subject. He refused to be reduced to a little science project for the 'Doctors' back at Arkham.

But He'd Never Acted or Felt like this before. It was all So new to him- he felt like he could combust. Just- Go Kaboom.

That would be so much better than this. He was running out of time. He could only stand there like a statue for so long before the bat decided to actually do something.

He tried to relax his stiff posture, to get into the headspace he needed to come off as the carefree and aloof guy he'd always been.

He licked his lips, and chewed on his bottom lip for a bit. He was The Joker for crying out loud! He'd moped around long enough. It was time to stop behaving like an overwhelmed, nervous wreck. 

He needed to face Batman- take him by surprise, and show him that he's still the same dangerous criminal and not a lovesick puppy like he'd probably hoped he'd become.

Hell, That's the Main reason he got out of Arkham in the first place! But his plan was to recuperate back at his base- surrounded by his henchpeople who feared him- and get back at the Bat for trying to toy with his feelings; because that's most likely what it was.

If Batman thought he'd found a way to control him, Joker would show him just how wrong he was. He will Not let the Bat use his own emotions against him.

He turned around, slowly; Batman was in a corner of the small space, blending into the shadows like he usually did.

Joker will Not be made a fool of. He will not fall for this trick- but he couldn't help but feel conflicted. 'Is this a trick? Could Batsy have actually...meant it? But after all this time- after the Cat- Why now?' His thoughts began to swirl in his mind.

His breath caught in his throat as his gaze caught the bat's eyes, glowing white; staring intensely at Joker.

"Batsy-!" His voice cracked, betraying him. All of his conflicting feelings, the uncertanty; everything was made obvious by his voice- 'Damn it. DamnItDamnItDamnItDamnItDamnItttt-' his mind raced and his body tensed again.

He could feel blood rushing up to his face, and the heat shooting up all over his body; Oh how he Wished this was just the result of embarrasment.

He felt like he was going to pass out.

Chapter Text

Joker stood there, stiff and rooted to the ground. He tried to speak, but no words left his mouth.

It was dark, but Bruce could've sworn that he saw the clown's face flush as the tension in his posture became more apparent.

Joker looked away from Batman, breathing ragged; and cleared his throat. 

The clown attempted to appear unbothered; Bruce noted, but he did not succeed.

Joker pushed his hands into the sides of the waistband of his Arkham pants;  trying to come off as casual- Bruce could just about hear Joker's thoughts right now, about how inconvenient the pocketless piece of clothing was. 

"Batsy! Hey! Fancy meeting you here!" He chuckled, failing to hide his own nervousness. 

"You, uh-" He cleared his throat again. "You..come here.. often...?" Bruce pitied the clown; who was no doubt internally screaming from how awkward he was being.

Bruce was becoming worried about the shorter man's behavior. He was trying too hard to appear non-chalant, but only came off as nervous.

And the Joker Bruce knew didn't do Nervous. 

The Joker he knew was Carefree and Unbothered, Confident and Flamboyant, Ambitious and Passionate. 

Even in situations where Batman himself visibly cringed, Joker always found a way to evade this kind of thing.

He had a certain Grandeur and Grace, always managing to be -sometimes even disturbingly- Elegant.

He was missing the Finesse in his movements and speech.

Joker had a certain Flare to him, Bright and Beautiful, Blinding and Blighting. 

There was an aching inside Bruce's guts, he wanted to close the distance between them and hold Joker; squeezing the apprehension out of his very bones and tear out the quiver in his voice.

Joker only stared at him, sweating profusely with a strained smile that was starting to look more like a grimace the longer he stared.

Bruce considered his options in order to take the appropriate action and stepped slowly out of the shadows into the faint moonlight.

His movement was slow and deliberate, careful as to not provoke Joker; the last thing Bruce wanted to do now was to fight the poor criminal.

Joker swallowed, tilting his nose up to feign haughtiness. Bruce could see that Joker's eyes now flitted across his dark form, tracing every miniscule movement.

Bruce stopped when he was only a hair's breadth away from colliding their personal spaces together, not that Joker had any idea what Personal Space was, anyways. The hitch in Joker's breath did not go unnoticed.

Joker looked up at him, unblinking; the smile completely gone from his face.

The way Joker looked at Bruce now, pupils blown wide; with Love- with Devotion and Reverence- Bruce realised that he was now the Joker's Cynosure. He always has been.

He carefully reached out to Joker's face, stopping before his glove made contact with Joker's jaw; because he saw a sudden flash in Joker's eyes. A flash of Fear.

Bruce's heart clenched. Joker has never been scared him. Even if at some point he had been, he certainly didn't show it, not that he did now; but Bruce noticed it, as quick as it was to disappear.

Bruce felt guilty, and he started to second guess himself. His thoughts raced in his head as doubts started to chip away at him.

Whatever he knew to be true, it was all blurry now. The only thing he could focus on was the fact that his Joker was Scared. All reason and logic vanished as the flash of fear in his Joker's eyes consumed him completely, sending his thoughts spiraling.

' Did I go too far? Did Joker not want the Kiss? Did I overstep the boundaries so much that Joker is scared-?' His hand, still raised; began to retreat.

' But why would he be Scared of me? He likes it when I physically hurt him, he knows that I won't kill him, and he HAS to have liked the kiss, too...' Bruce desperately wanted everything to make sense, but he didn't know what to do. 'At least I assumed he did-' And then a thought struck him.

He'd assumed. He didn't know if Joker actually enjoyed this sort of thing- Bruce just assumed he did.

' Wait. He can't be scared that I'd-' Bruce halted his thoughts, mirroring the stiffness in Joker's own body.

' No. he can't be. He knows that I would Never-...Doesn't he?' Bruce felt a pang in his heart, his vision swam at the implications that his own brain had suggested. 

Both were lost in their own thoughts now, fearing the worst. Bruce backed away a little, and Joker practically pounced away from where he stood.

There was an opening now, a way out for the clown prince; but the thing is- he didn't really want to take it? 

He didn't want to live with constant doubt. The earlier silence gave him some of the time he needed to prepare himself. 

He hoped he was ready to tackle this head on now, like he planned to- although this was a lot sooner than what he'd hoped for. And it Scared him.

Not a lot of things did. But this? Ohh, he's scared shitless- of the answer he will most likely find.

But then he noticed something.

If Joker was stiff before, then Batman was rigid. Joker let himself slip into his mindspace a bit, although lately he had been having a lot of trouble doing so. But with Batman here, it felt just a little easier to be himself, his usual self.

He took his hands out of his pants and folded them across his chest, gripping tightly at his own fore-arms. He straightened himself before leaning his back on the wall behind him.

He could use the Bat's own little stupor to his advantage and escape; he had the fire-escape and the small opening. But he wanted to hear what the Bat- his bat?- had to say. He could feel hope crawling up his innards, and prayed to whatever was out there that it wouldn't be crushed.

He is Not a Pathetic little Pessimist who'd assume the worst and live out the rest of his days gloomily wallowing in misery. He was The Joker.

All this time, all he'd wanted was the bat's attention. His affection. He had believed all this time that the Bat was rightfully his. That he was the Bat's. To Hate AND To Love. To Hurt And to-...Kiss.

He could feel himself becoming giddy. He had let that fact sit for a long time now; He knew that it happened, but he never really- Realised it.

The Bat had KISSED him, and he just- MOPED around!? In Arkham!? What was he Thinking?! 

He got So Mad at himself that he almost reached up to claw his hair out, but he stopped himself.

He then tightened his grip on himself; both literally And- metaphorically(?); his nails digging into the pale skin of his arms, surely leaving marks.

Joker noticed that Batman seemed to be in a trance of his own; his face pale, like he was gonna throw up any time now.

Joker's stomach did a backflip. 'Wait- can stomachs do backflips? How does that work? Wait No- Focus.' His annoying Thinking-Box (-hemisphere?-) went back to interesting thoughts again instead of depressing ones that talked(?) shit about his Batsy.

' Speaking of Batsy, he's been very quiet tonight. Hmmmm, What could be going on in that pointy bat-head of his? Will he tell me if I asked? Should I ask? Will he uppercut me like he usually does? Or will he Kiss me again?' Joker subconsiously tilted his head to the side as he thought, a ghost of a smile now on his lips.

'Welp, Only one way to find out!' A spark that was gone from his eyes for far too long returned with full intensity. "Soooooooo," He drew out, causing the Bat snap out of it. "Long time no see, eh?"

Joker's eyes Sparkled, their corners crinkling as he smiled fondly at His Bat. "Did you miss me, Darling?" His voice was soft and raw, unmistakable affection in his words.

The syllables of Joker's preferred term of endearment for his Batsy felt sweet in his mouth, like Candy Apples- ' It's been so long since I've eaten Candy Apples! I wonder if Batsy will get me some if I asked. Probably not. Where'd we find Candy Apples in the dead of the night, anyways? Not even Gotham has Candy Apples for sale in the dead of night. Hm. Unless?- Wait. Shit. Wrong topic-'

He noticed that his Batsy no longer looked like he was going to puke his guts out. 'Great! I'm not prepared to deal with bat-puke just yet, but I bet He'd still look pretty heaving out his dinner- or breakfast? Hmm Maybe lunch. Brunch? Brunch.'

Batman's eyes were now focused and looking at Joker intently, and the latter felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Did you?" Batman asked Joker, his voice lacking a bit of the usual authority. All of Joker's thoughts ceased.

"Yes. Yes, I did." Joker answered sincerely, stating it as a fact rather than an answer; leaving no room for doubt. "I Always Do." He added quietly, his eyes softening.

Chapter Text

Joker stepped slowly into the faint moonlight, getting closer to Batman. The smile on his lips wavered, but his resolve did not. 

Both the Bat and the Clown held their breaths. There was the looming feeling that after tonight, their relationship could possibly be re-defined forever, and there would be no going back.

They can still turn away, forget the kiss; They can still Go Back-

Back to Normal.

But then again, what could even be considered ' normal ' when it came to Gotham's Dark Knight and Clown Prince?

The Blood? The fights? The Rush of Adrenaline?

The Games? The Dance?

What even were they; at this point, anyways? 

In all the time they'd known eachother, this would be the first time they truly faced eachother- the first time they truly faced themselves-

Their feelings.

They gazed into eachother's eyes in the quiet of the night; Perhaps Gotham itself felt the tension rising between it's two creations, and thus lowered it's voice to let them speak. To let them hear eachother.

And when the clouds drifted apart to drape a brighter spotlight on them; They felt it, they knew then-

That it was now, or never.

Joker opened his mouth, but closed it. Words got stuck in his throat as all the instances where his advances were rejected flooded his brain. What would he even say? Surely nothing he hasn't already said before.

He lived for Batman, Batman's attention- it was like oxygen to him. He needed it more than he needed actual oxygen, or even literally anything else. He needed Batman. 

He'd be nothing without his love for his Batsy.

'But does He need me, too?' Joker's head was flooded by that single thought. And for once in his life, his mind refused to move on; latching onto it.

But Batman's Hand came up to break that rare headspace; hovering near Joker's face, "Joker..." The Bat breathed, and the Clown cracked.

Slowly, Joker leaned into that inviting hand, sighing softly and closing his eyes when a thumb softly brushed across his cheek. Then he sensed it ghosting over his lips, and fluttered his eyes open.

Gazing into the Bat's eyes, Joker tenderly kissed the thumb, sending a shiver through both their bodies.

"Did you... actually mean- any of it?" Batman's breath felt warm on Joker's face. "All the flirting, the complements, the declarations of...Love..."

Joker brought a hand to clasp around the one that Batman had on his face, he squeezed it, and held it in place. 

"Batsy. My Darling." Joker simply said and brought his other hand to caress the edge of the cowl.

"If I'd ever meant what I said, then it was when I would utter those words to you."

Bruce's heart fluttered, and his skin burned. He wrapped his free hand around Joker's wrist, squeezing lightly. "But you," Joker swallowed, "All I've ever wanted is You- " his voice quivered. 

He breathed out shakily, "But All you ever did was push me away." Joker's eyes narrowed, "Why did you kiss me, when you've been so occupied with the kitty cat lately?" 

He looked so hurt and betrayed- Bruce never stopped to think that something like that would hurt Joker so much- but he should've known. He's supposed to be the World's. Greatest. Detective.

"I was- afraid." Bruce replied, "of what it would mean for me to have these feelings-" Joker's eyes widened at that. "I acted like a coward." Bruce then went on to softly lean his forehead against Joker's.

"I was so scared of Loving you, I-" Joker went rigid, and a soft gasp escaped his mouth. "What..."

Bruce became nervous; had he went too far? Should he have waited-? "WhaT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY!?" Joker screamed into the cowl, Bruce gulped. Here it goes. "I said-" But he was cut off.

"No- No no no no, NO. WHAT!?" Joker pulled away a little, gripping Bruce's hand a little too tightly.

"N-No- NO WAY! Say- Say it again!" Joker looked panicked now, his crisis smile grazing his face once more. 

Bruce understood that Joker was having a hard time believing him. So he pulled the shorter man closer and leaned in so close their noses touched; "You understand me, Joker. Not many people can. You know me, sometimes better than I even know myself."

Joker looked on in awe, "I need you, Joker. And I want you." Bruce could see tears welling up in Joker's eyes.

"Joker, I-" He cleared his throat, "I love you." And as the Bat Spoke the Words, the Clown Broke into Tears.

"I never felt anything for Selina, She and I had a deal. And now, even that's over." Batman pressed their foreheads together once more. "It's you, Joker. It can only ever be You."

And then Joker sealed their lips, and Bruce kissed back just as passionately. This time though, they both took their time to savour it, going slow and sweet.

When they parted; Batman still holding Joker by the waist and Joker still with his hands wrapped around Batman's neck; breathless, Joker whispered against Batman's lips, "Ugh, You're All That I want In this Life, Batsy. You have no idea."

"I think I might, actually. And I can show you that I feel the same, too." Batman smiled against Joker's lips, making the Green-Haired Gremlin even more giddy. "Or is it too late to have you?"

Joker laughed, pulling Batman impossibly closer, "Oh, Darling, please! You know you always have me." Batman held Joker tighter, "And You have me."

The moonlight slowly faded away as the Dark of the Night enveloped them.

And ever since that day, Gotham never had Joker kill anyone. He still kept his...unique style of ' entertainment ' going, and Alfred keeps finding the clown in the Manor; occasionally cooking for him too, if his arrival is predicted earlier. But he doesn't mind- his ward, Bruce Wayne; the Batman was happier this way.