Archive of Our Own ^beta

It only took one call, one explosion, and one trapped door for Buck to lose his sense of self, his sense of being the one who fixed things. Another piece of him would soon be gone. 

First responders, army medics, police, debris flying, crackling sounds of fire, an uneasy wave of air flowed around. At first, Buck heard only silence and no sign of his team, his family , behind the locked door. Nothing to be seen of any of them. He pleaded and demanded his team answer him, but there was nothing. Nothing . 

Because of the security system and army orders, his people were trapped inside, and he was crushed hopelessly, defeated and broken all the way down to his bones because he’s the guy that likes to fix things, but there was nothing he could do. 

Despite Maddie's attempts to ground him and provide him with some sort of sense of hope, it just wasn't enough. Not at all.

On the other side of those doors, Chim had caught the virus, Hen had collapsed a lung, Ravi was physically fine, but soon about to break the law, and Bobby was put in a position to save Hen, which he managed to find the strength for. That's what Bobby would do for any member of his team, to keep them alive by any means necessary. Bobby would do so much more and has done so much more for each and every one of them. 

Buck soon found Athena to come up with a game plan to get their family out. They were being hit time and time again with the words, “there is nothing we can do at this time.” 

Athena and Buck stood there watching their family trapped inside of this lab through a screen. A screen . They watched as Chim stood alone in isolation due to the virus eating him alive. They watched Hen lay on her side, unable to breathe, with Bobby standing over her with a scalpel in his hand that he had no idea how to use. They watched as Ravi was waiting for everyone just to be okay . 

“They will go down as heroes .”

Again, there was nothing Buck could do. A man who would absolutely define gravity for anyone he loved.

He was defeated. 

As Bobby used the unfamiliar scalpel to save Hen's life, Chim started showing signs of the virus that was eating him alive. 

Panic started to set in, again . 

They were still trapped inside. 

Soon after, Buck and Athena found out from one of the victims that this explosion was her coworker's fault, more than likely anyway. She had manipulated the virus in order for symptoms to accumulate faster, but she did mention there was an antidote available and that it was in the lab. 

Buck was now able to communicate with his family that was trapped inside, so he told Ravi that there was a solution to save Chim. An Antidote. Bobby was informed as well.

One problem - the army soldier refused to allow them to use it in case the virus spread into the city and that was the only antidote available for recreation. He told Bobby that it would be enough for an arrest warrant if he touched that antidote.

Bobby had a choice to make. Save one of his own or stay on the right side of the law. 

The word choice is really not appropriate because for him, it wasn't a choice at all. There was only one solution: give Chim the antidote.

Instead, Ravi stepped in, choosing to get the antidote for Chim. 

After opening the container where he was instructed to find it, he was surprised to find nothing. There was no antidote.

The bitch that caused the explosion left and took it with her. It was as if all hope had evaporated into thin air.

There was nothing anyone could do. 

Chim was dying. The 118 were still trapped inside. There was no way out. 

Buck stood with memories of the 118 flooding his mind, his heart splitting into a million pieces, his breath gone, his hands trembling, knowing he couldn't fix this problem, his family wasn't going to make it. At this moment, only a single positive thought crossed his mind: the fact that the love of his life, even if he didn't know it, the other member of the 118, the other half of his heart, wasn't there. Eddie was safe. 

Eddie was having dinner with Chris, who was finally back living with him, in El Paso. They were having a chicken casserole dish that Buck had texted over days ago, and their laughter filled the dining room with comfort until the tv playing on a low volume in the background caught Eddie's attention in one moment.

“It has been a devastating day for the people of Los Angeles. An explosion occurred at an experimental lab leaving firefighters trapped inside. Some of which are in bad shape and there is no way to safely get to them. There is -”

The room fell into silence and Eddie's heart felt heavy as he pushed himself away from the table to stand up. His eyes drifted to the TV like a magnet and his face assumed a concerned look. When he finally got to the table by the couch, he grabbed the tv remote and he started turning the volume up. Even so, he was completely disinterested in what was playing on the television, as he had already taken his phone out of his pocket to call Buck.

No answer. 

Eddie called 6 more times. Still no answer. 

He then called the rest of the 118. No answer. 

Panic began to fill Eddie’s chest, and he scrambled to get to his and Buck ‘s messaging thread. 

Eddie: Buck! 

Eddie: I just heard the news. Hoping it’s not you guys! 

Eddie: Nobody is answering. Please answer me. 

Eddie: I’m worried about you guys. I’m worried about you. 

Eddie: Buck 

Eddie: hello? 

Eddie: Answer me. Now. 

Despite having no word from his former coworkers, who were still considered part of his family, he managed to calmly explain the situation to Chris without losing his cool. They both agreed that it was urgent enough to pack bags and get in the car as soon as possible so they can return to LA.

And so, they did. It was going to be a long 800-mile drive. 

Eddie turned the volume all the way up on his phone to ensure he wouldn’t miss a call or text. 

For some reason, even though Eddie was extremely worried about everyone, the life, and the people at station 118 he had to leave in order to return to his son's life, the one name that did manage to cause his heart to ache and his stomach to twist and sweat to drip down his face and worry to set in and panic to ensue was “Buck.”

Buck  

While he didn't recognize it at the time, Buck was the other half of his heart. He had always wished he could hold onto Buck, the love of his life, the ying to his yang, the partner he always wished he could hold onto. A man who lights up his life, a man whose smile could light up the universe, a man who makes the world a better place, a man whose life makes his own a better life to live, the man whose existence could light up the whole world was a firefighter in LA who was possibly trapped within that lab and he wasn't answering.

Buck. Was. Not. Answering. 

It must be them. It must be them if none of them are answering the phone. 

Buck isn’t answering the phone. Is he - is he…? 

In Eddie's mind, the memories of everybody and everything he had left behind in LA filled his head with the worry and possibilities of what losing them would mean to him. Each of these people had some sort of impact on Eddie's life in some way or another. An impact that was so powerful. Nonetheless, Eddie was certain that there was one person who, in his gut , he felt would do more damage to his heart than anyone else in the world. More damage than someone could ever imagine. 

That name was Buck , once again. 

It was now time to continue Eddie's long drive that lay ahead of him. The majority of the way there, he and Chris sat in silence . He tried desperately to push down all the feelings he had that were burning inside his chest so that he and Chris could get to where they needed to be safely.

Back in LA, things took a turn. 

Both Athena and Buck were on a hunt to find the woman who held the lives of their loved ones in the palm of her hands. There was an unbelievably strong determination in both of them to do all they could to find her, that they didn't care about the rules or laws that were in place.

They got her home address and searched there. Searched several more places after that. They even tracked her phone and had no luck. 

She was nowhere to be found. The antidote was nowhere to be found. 

Back in the lab, Chim was getting worse. Hen was still hanging on by a thread. Bobby and Ravi felt hopeless as there was no way that the locked door would budge. 

Buck and Athena were so wrapped up in their hunt that they haven’t even bothered to check their phones. 

Buck was just happy that Eddie was safe and nowhere near this situation. He figured he would call him later once he knew exactly what news he would have to share. 

A few hours go by, and Athena found the woman who held all of the power in her hands. She practically beat the knowledge out of her and took the antidote before arresting her. 

They managed to get it back to the lab safely, but there was still no way to get it inside. The door was still shut. 

Chim was running out of time. 

Athena gave Buck the antidote and told him, “Find anyway you can get back in there. Don’t worry about anything else, Buck.” 

Without question, Buck did. He managed to slip through the vents again and made his way back down. He tossed the antidote down through the ceiling leaving Bobby to catch it. 

Buck made his way back out. 

Without the army, police, or anyone else outside knowing what was happening, Chim took the antidote hoping that it would save him. Hoping it worked. 

Athena had to figure out what she was going to do about her husband now. The possibility of him going to prison just because he saved someone’s life. 

She came up with a plan. A plan that would prolong the arrest that was soon to take place if the 118 got out of there alive. 

She didn’t tell anyone about this plan, not even Buck. 

She managed to find a spot where she could be alone and called Bobby with the news.

She informed him of the situation and instructed him to find something in the lab that could allow for him to be unconscious and possibly presumed to be dead by the time they all made it out of that damn lab. 

At first, Bobby was hesitant and willing to face the consequences for saving one of his own, but he listened to Athena. Of course. 

As he waited for the automatic security system to shut off to finally open the doors, Bobby found a drug that would do the trick. A drug that would knock him out enough for everyone to believe he was dead . 

And so, he did. Just moments before the security systems allowed for the door to open back up with a way of an escape. 

Bobby shot the drug into his system with whatever instruments he could find, went back into the room with the 118, and waited. Waited to “die.” 

Just as he fell onto the floor, the doors opened up. Hen, Chim, and Ravi had no idea what was going on, but had no time to question it as people in hazmat suits were pulling them all out one by one. 

“Is this Bobby, the fire captain?” One of the men in hazmat suits asked. “I can’t get a pulse. I thought he was alive. I thought he was, okay? What happened?” 

He got on the radio to inform everyone that the Captain, Bobby, was unconscious. 

Him and another rescuer assumed he was dead due to having no pulse and pulled him out of that lab wrapped into a black body bag. 

Leaving everyone else that was part of the 118 broken . 

Chim was still unaware of the situation due to his own near-death experience. Ravi was so shaken inside that he couldn’t even breath or form words and actions. 

Hen lost her breath and let out a devastating scream that was accompanied by tears. 

And Buck... Buck was left so shattered as he watched Bobby's body being wheeled out of the lab that he lost all feeling in his legs as he fell to his knees in utter shock. As his heart started beating out of his chest, his body went numb, his head fell into the wall beside him, and his mouth dropped open as air was trying to enter his mouth as screams began to echo out. Buck erupted with weeping devastating screams as the realization dawned on him that Bobby somehow had not made it out alive as his eyes filled with tears. His lungs were being used at full capacity. A devastated Buck felt hopeless, useless, and broken, and his body numbed, and his heart ached, and the man broke into one million pieces on the floor of that lab. 

Buck was now broken . 

Bobby was dead .

Everyone else was in shock . 

How could Bobby be the one to die? How could Buck lose him? A man who helped Buck become the man he is today. A man who taught him how to be a firefighter, how to do right in the world, how to never give up, how to fight through fears, how to love all. A man that showed Buck what it meant to be a firefighter and a human being. 

(Writer’s Note) Look. I’m going to be honest here. I was writing this to show how Buck and Eddie make it back to each other. This storyline is insane, and I have no idea what is going on. If Bobby does fake his death, then how is there even a body bag? Wouldn’t they know if he wasn’t actually dead? I was going to write about how Bobby “blew himself up” in order to pretend he was dead, but then there would be no body bag? I’m not sure how this is going to play out. I have no idea. I’m just trying to involve Eddie in this... okay? So just like... Use your imagination for the rest of it. I do not know. Bobby got wheeled off, woke up, ran away to hide. Idk. Lol. 

Hen went to the hospital where Karen met her there. She was in rough shape, but the doctors told her she would be okay as long as she took some time to heal. 

Chim made it to the hospital even though he was in ROUGH shape. Maddie stuck by his side through it all. He was going to be okay…eventually. 

Ravi went home to process everything that happened that shift. 

Athena had to put on a fake persona in order to pretend she thought her husband died. Which was a disaster. 

Anyway, Buck had no one to go home to after what happened. His house was empty . Eddie and Chris were in Texas. His sister and friends/coworkers had their own family reunions they were a part of. 

Buck’s house was empty and the only person he wanted there to comfort him was in Texas . 

But at least Eddie was not involved in this whole explosion because he definitely could not handle if anything happened to Eddie . 

Bobby was dead - and there was absolutely nothing Buck could do to fix that. Nothing he could do to prevent it. He tried. Of course he tried. He tried his damndest . 

After Buck had gone home alone , he found an empty house with the ghosts of his best friend and their son inside, a home without any lights on, a home that no longer felt like a home, just a house that is all Buck was left with to mourn the loss of every person in his life he had lost. Whether it be the physical loss of Eddie and Chris, or the actual soul of Bobby’s. 

Upon pulling into his driveway, Buck struggled to get into the house because he was overwhelmed with grief, overwhelmed with anger, overwhelmed with every devastating emotion under the sun all at once, which had left him almost unable to breathe. After finding the keys, he scrambled to get inside and sit down to try to process everything that had happened and all that had gone so wrong in one shift that he was unable to even walk straight and could not even form a thought, let alone comprehend what had happened and everything that had gone wrong in a single shift.

The moment Buck closed the door, his hands trembled, he felt his heart race, his eyes closed due to exhaustion, yet he knew he was never going to be able to sleep anytime soon. His limbs were numb as he tried to find his way to the couch and sit down without even changing his clothes or taking a shower to wash the day away. There were just a few minutes left until the sunrise and Buck didn't want to spend another day without those he cared about the most. As he sat alone in the dark of his living room, which used to be Eddie's old living room, he thought to himself, "How could everything go so wrong?" That was the only thought he could muster up before he leaned his head back on the couch in devastation. He was completely alone . 

Eddie and Chris were just making their way into LA as the sun was coming up. 

Eddie still hadn’t heard from anyone at all since he watched the news back in Texas the night before. 

Why the fuck is no one answering me? Are they okay? Is Buck okay? 

Eddie knew in the back of his mind that it was them in that lab and something was definitely wrong, especially considering that he hasn't heard from anyone. At all. 

He asked Chris if it would be okay if he were to drop him off at his Abuela’s so he could check on everyone. Chris assured him that was okay. Eddie made a quick phone call to her to explain the situation and see if Chris could stay there. She agreed. 

Eddie dropped Chris off. 

He had no idea where to go first. No idea what really happened. All he knew was what he heard on the news. The drive there was a long one, so he figured everything would be over now. Now there was only a question of “what happened” rather than “what is happening.” 

As everyone and everything crossed his mind, over and over, his instincts led him straight back to his old house. Buck’s new house. 

Worry was overflowing in the pit on Eddie’s stomach. Worry that someone had gotten hurt. Worried that Buck got hurt. Worried that there was a small possibility someone didn’t make it out alive. Worried that Buck didn’t make it out alive. 

As Eddie passed the familiar buildings of LA and his tires rolled through familiar traffic, he began to panic even more than he had been when Chris was in the car. All of the questions with unknown answers would soon come to light. 

During Eddie's journey through his old neighborhood and as he made his way closer and closer to the old house, he was unsure of whether or not to even look for Buck's vehicle in the driveway because he knew that if it wasn't there, then there were so many possibilities about where it might be. He practically closed his eyes for a moment of relief as he approached the driveway. 

Sure enough, Buck’s truck was there. Right where it should be, meaning that Buck was home. 

Eddie felt a moment of relief as he put the car in park. A moment of hope and bliss. 

He got out of the car and made his way to the front door. He felt strange that he had to knock on the door of his old house because he no longer lived there. Instead, it was Buck’s house now. 

Eddie knocked quietly at first until he realized Buck wasn’t coming to the door. Could he be…somewhere else? 

He then began to knock louder and more impatiently. 

Fear began to rise in his chest again. 

He knew Buck had a hidden key somewhere around the house because he knew Buck would sometimes misplace his keys. After all, he knew Buck better than literally anyone else ever has. He knew Buck in a way that others did not. He saw Buck in a way others never did. 

Eddie searched for a hidden house key, which didn’t take him long. It was practically in the first spot he checked. Under the door mat. Wow Buck, really? 

Eddie’s hands started to shake as he slid the key into the doorknob and turned it slightly to the right. He pushed the door open only to find the house was completely pitch black, the curtains were closed, and silence that was worrisome. 

“Buck! Buck? Buck… are you... are you home? It’s me. It’s me, Eddie.” 

There was a small barely audible voice coming from the center of the living room. 

“Ed-“Buck barely managed to get out. 

Eddie slid over one side of the living room curtain to let some of the early morning sunrise start to flood the living room as he shut the front door behind him. 

“Buck! Buck! You’re okay! I tried to call. Tried to text. I never heard anything back and I - I had to come he-“Eddie tried to finish his sentence before he was cut off by the weeping of Buck’s voice. 

“Buck? Wh - what’s wrong? Talk to me…” 

Buck looked up at Eddie in the house they both shared together, just at different times, as the light from outside slid its way in landing on the side of Eddie’s face.  

All Buck could do in that moment was give a sigh of relief to Eddie standing before him before tears began to fall down his cheeks, cheeks that were turning redder and redder by the second. Buck’s eyes could barely keep themselves open, the rest of his body visibly trembling  as he used one of his hands to grasp a hold of his heart through his shirt. He looked up at Eddie through his long tear-soaked  eyelashes and muttered the words, “I tried to do everything I could to save them, Eddie…Eds... Bobby didn’t make it… Bobby is, oh god , he’s - “ 

Interrupted by his own tears, Eddie made his way over to the couch to pull Buck up and into a hug. Buck practically collapsed into Eddie as the tears started to soak through the back of Eddie’s shirt and the gasping noise flooded into Eddie’s ear. 

Both stood there grasping onto each other for comfort. Buck was clearly falling apart in every sense of the word. 

Eddie was still unable to process what Buck really said. What really happened. Eddie was trying to comfort Buck in this moment and the only thing he could manage was to just hold him. They stayed like that for what felt like hours until Buck pulled away. “I tried. Eddie, it was awful . Everyone was stuck in there except for me! It was up to me to save them! I failed! Eddie, I’m sorry. I’m so so- “ 

Buck was interrupted as he felt Eddie’s thumbs cradle his cheeks wiping the tears away, “ Buck - whatever happened, it isn’t your fault. I can guarantee you that.” 

“Bu- “ 

” No, Buck. “ 

Buck looked completely shattered in a way that Eddie had never seen him before. The same way Buck looked as he fell into the ground above the wet mud that Eddie was trapped under. 

“I think I’m going to uh - go lay down…thank you for coming Eddie. I’ll explain more… later… I just need to process…this . Take the couch or Chris’s old room. I just need to be alone. “ 

Buck left to his room to lay down, leaving Eddie a guest in a house that was once his. Buck didn’t really want to be alone, again . But he felt as though that’s what he deserved at that moment. 

Eddie was left alone in the living room to process what Buck actually said. What actually happened. The fact that Bobby had died while he himself was in Texas. Away from the people he cared about the most other than his son. 

Eddie sat with these thoughts for a long time trying to process everything himself, until he heard Buck crying out in the room that was just down the hall. The room that used to be his. An echo that was so familiar, it made Eddie’s skin crawl . 

Buck sat up in bed trying to catch his breath. Trying to fight back the tears that seemed like they were a never-ending waterfall. Tried to grasp a hold of reality. Reached for water that he would normally have on his nightstand but isn’t there. 

As Buck was getting up to make his way to the kitchen, he heard the door handle turn and watched as the door opened. 

It was Eddie . 

Eddie was there. The only person he wanted to come home to. The only person that could really comfort him. The other person that would understand. The other person that would ground him. 

Eddie pushed the bedroom door open; tears flooded his own eyes. 

“Do you need anything, Buck?” 

“Just some…water.” 

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie mumbled out, giving Buck a reassuring glance. 

Eddie made his way into the kitchen, struggling with his own feelings at that moment, but realized he needed to be strong for Buck. At least for the time being. 

After all, his captain died too. 

Eddie made his way back down the hall and into the bedroom with two glasses of water. One for Buck and one for himself. 

Buck’s tears must have run out because they quit falling from his eyes. His face swallowed each tear back up causing his face to look swollen. He sat back down on the bed and started to rock his body back and forth trying to find some relief. 

Eddie walked in and handed Buck a glass of water that Buck could barely manage to grab from him. They both took a sip of water and placed their glasses on the nightstand. 

“I can’t believe he’s - he’s gone ,” Buck whispered almost silently. 

Eddie took Buck’s words as an invitation to sit down next to him for another chat. He put his right hand on Buck’s left leg to stabilize him and keep him from rocking back and forth. 

“I know, Buck. Me either. I hate that I wasn’t here. That I wasn’t here with you guys. Maybe…maybe things would have been diff- “

“NO! EDDIE! NO!” Buck screamed almost at the top of his lungs. 

“Wh-?”

“You should not have been here Eddie. What if you had gotten hurt or died too? I couldn’t - couldn’t handle that. You not being there was the only positive thought I had to hold onto. That you were - you were safe.” 

Eddie gulped at Buck’s words. 

Eddie looked over into the blue eyes he’s looked into so many times before, but this time it was different. 

Buck looked different . He looked defeated . His precious Buck sparkle was gone. 

” Eddie, how am I - how are we supposed to move past this?” 

The only thing Eddie could manage to do was squint his eyes and shake his head ever so slightly.

Buck looked so alone . Eddie couldn’t stand it. 

Eddie didn’t know everything that happened but knew from the bottom of his heart that it could never have been Buck’s fault. 

Without another thought, Eddie moved his hand from Buck’s leg to where his shoulder met his collarbone and muttered the words, “Do you want some company tonight, Buck? I don’t want to leave you in here alone unless - unless you want to be…” 

Buck looked back at Eddie with tears filling his eyes again with an almost fond expression and thank you stare , “ Mhm . Stay please.” Buck ever so slightly nodded his head. 

Eddie got off of the bed and walked around to the other side. 

“You really don’t have to Eddie .” 

“I want to, Buck . Let me.” 

Buck felt comfort slide through the veins in his body as he laid back on the bed pulling the comforter up towards his chin. 

Eddie sat down on the other side of the bed before leaning back himself. He had to move the covers a tad so he could slide halfway under them. He looked over at Buck and said “I’m here, Buck. I’m here if you need anything.” 

Buck still couldn’t believe Eddie was back, but those feelings were for another time. 

“I’m here too, Eddie. Thank - thank you for coming back…I thought - I was worried - I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t … couldn’t. I was just happy I knew you were safe Eddie because - because if it were you trapped in there too then I don’t think I could have - could have -“ 

Eddie stopped him. 

“I know, Buck. The whole way here I was worried for everyone, but the thought of yo- the thought of your truck not being in the driveway when I pulled up practically overwhelmed me, Buck. I was worried about you - That you were hurt… and I- Buck I don’t think I could handle that.” 

Buck glanced over at him before returning his eyes to the ceiling. He rolled his heavy drained body to the side. 

A few moments went by before he let out a gasp, he couldn’t hold back like he was trying to find air anywhere he could. 

Without thinking and without hesitation, Eddie slid over closer to Buck. He wrapped his arm around him and started to hug him again, tighter this time so that Buck could feel maybe a little less alone. So maybe he himself could feel a little more at ease. It came natural to Eddie to hold onto Buck, someone he thought he lost. Someone he thought for a split second that would no longer be in his life. That his life would no longer be complete. He held onto Buck and that feeling that they had each other. That even if someone they cared about more than words could describe was gone, they had each other and that’s what felt right. That is what started to make their hearts feel a little more at ease about the situation. They had each other. 

The late afternoon came, and both managed to get some shut eye since they were in each other's presence. 

Eddie woke up first and noticed that his arms never left Buck’s body while they slept. 

Buck was still sound asleep, and Eddie didn’t want to disturb him. He managed to slip out of the covers and out of the bed. He looked down at Buck who looked at least somewhat peaceful as he slept. 

Eddie took a look around the room noticing all of the things Buck had changed in his absence. There were different lights, different furniture, more decor than before, a rug, the scent of Buck , and most importantly Buck himself. 

He left the room and started to walk around the house noticing everything that Buck had changed. 

Even though everything looked different, even though it was no longer his house, it somehow felt even more like his home. His real home. 

He thought for just a second that maybe it was because it’s where Buck was. 

He made a quick restroom trip. Took the time to shower while he was there. 

He then made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee and couldn’t figure out for the life of him why Buck would put the coffee cups on the other side of the kitchen. Again , things were different. 

It was weird being back there knowing it was no longer his house, but Buck’s instead. Even still, he didn’t feel like a guest. It was Buck’s house after all. 

He got his coffee and went to sit on the couch. He took the time to call Chris to check in assuring him they would pick him up the following day. 

Eddie had some time to think over everything as Buck managed to get some more rest. Think about his old life, the 118 as a whole, Bobby, and Buck. 

The fact that Bobby was just simply gone, and he would never see him again. 

It was a lot to take in all at once. 

So, Eddie sat with that. 

A little while later, it was starting to turn into the night. Buck finally woke up and realized he was alone in bed. He thought that maybe he had just dreamt of Eddie being there, just dreamed of Eddie comforting him because it’s the only thing that would have calmed him down after Bobby’s death. 

He walked out of the bedroom while rubbing the sleep and dried up tears out of his eyes.

As he was making his way to the kitchen, he noticed that Eddie was on the couch. He was there. 

It wasn’t just a dream after all. 

“Oh. Eddie…” 

“Buck. I’m glad you got your rest. I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“What time is it?” Buck asked, still half asleep. 

“Oh, it’s uh - almost 9 pm.” 

“I must have left my phone in the truck; I need to check on everyone.” 

“Everyone?” Eddie asked. 

Buck realized he never did explain what happened to Eddie. Eddie just showed up and the only thing that was on his mind in the moment was to comfort Buck. 

“Let me check my phone and I’ll come back inside and tell you. Okay?” 

Buck went outside, grabbed his phone from the truck, and sat down on the front porch to text everyone for an update. 

Things were pretty much the same. 

He made his way back inside and sat down in the living room with Eddie to explain the entirety of the situation. 

Eddie teared up as he heard what the 118 went through. Buck barely made it through the conversation, but he had to. Had to for Eddie. 

The night went on and Buck and Eddie were going over all of the memories they had with Bobby. All of the memories they had at the station. Funny memories, sad memories, good memories, bad memories, and all of the above. The thought that Bobby would say, “you have to carry on. For yourself” stuck with both of them. 

They managed to cook a meal for themselves and get something in their stomachs. 

It got later and later. 

“Maybe I should go take a shower now,” Buck said. 

“Yes. I’m going to lay down and try to sleep some more. Do you have any extra linens I can throw over on the couch?” 

“Uh- yeah. Just a second. Um, are you sure you don’t want the bed? I can take the couch.” 

“No, Buck. It’s your house now. I’m the guest here. I’ll take the couch.” 

The thought that Eddie said he was just a guest hit Buck in the gut. Because… he was more than a guest. 

Buck didn’t say anything else; he just went to grab some linens. He went back in the living room and handed them over to Eddie. 

“Thanks, Buck.” 

Buck made his way to the shower while Eddie started to turn the couch into a bed. 

Buck took a very long and hot shower. He went over everything again and again in his mind as the water fell down his aching body. 

Eddie fell asleep on the couch. 

After Buck’s shower, he went to check on Eddie and found him asleep. He grabbed himself some water to take to bed. 

He felt a little less alone . 

And that, that comforted him. That Eddie was there. 

It was around 3:10 AM when Eddie woke up on the couch in the dark. His throat was dry and he needed to get some water. 

He made his way into the kitchen, opened the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water and started to chug it. 

He was still half asleep and the familiarity of the house seemed to take over in his mind because instead of going back to the couch, he started to head towards the bedroom. The door was open, the lights were out, he was still half asleep, and he stumbled into the room and laid on his usual side of the bed. 

Turns out, he and Buck have seperate sides of the bed. 

He got under the covers and went back to sleep immediately. 

An overwhelming feeling of peace took his body over before he closed his eyes. Unsure of why. 

Could it be because Buck’s presence was there with him? 

Buck woke up first this time to find a slightly snoring Eddie lying in bed with him. His shirt was rolled up and the covers were only covering his feet. 

“Uh, Eddie?” 

“Eddie?” 

“What? Mmmmnhhhhhm I’m sleeping,” Eddie said as he rolled over.

“Uh, I know…when did you come in here?” 

Eddie started to wake up this time. 

He glanced back over his shoulder to see Buck behind him. 

Eddie popped out of bed like he had springs under his feet. 

“Oh my god. I’m sorry, Buck. I think I woke up to get some water and guess I just sleep walked my way in here. I’m sorry.” 

“That’s okay, Eddie . I just wanted to make sure you are alright.” 

“yeahh, yeah. I slept quite nicely.” 

Eddie and Buck went to pick up Chris that morning. They had to sit him down and explain the situation to him, together . 

Buck called everyone again just to check on them. Again, the same updates. 

Eddie decided that he and Chris would stick around until the funeral and to make sure Buck was going to be okay before they went back to Texas. 

They spent the day at the house. Things were sort of sad because the thought of Bobby’s death still hung in the air. 

But they managed to get through the day together . 

There were about 5 days until the day of Bobby’s funeral. Buck helped Athena with the arrangements and made sure she was okay. Weirdly though, she didn’t seem to want to spend a lot of money on it. 

Buck, Eddie, and Chris started to fall into a daily routine together. 

The 118 had some floaters who were taking everyone’s spot at the station until they could find a new captain and until Ravi, Buck, Hen, and Chim were cleared to come back to work. 

So, there was no work. For now. 

Eddie slept on the couch after that one night, Chris slept in his old room that Buck left untouched, Buck slept in his room/Eddie’s old room. 

Buck and Chris had a nice reunion together after being apart for so long. 

They fell into a routine, like they have been living together as a family for years. 

Buck was happy he wasn’t alone, at least he wasn’t alone for now. 

Eddie felt at peace there. 

Chris missed his life in LA. 

Eddie was having trouble sleeping on the couch though and couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t that uncomfortable. He has slept on more uncomfortable things in his life.

Eddie sort of came to the realization the night before the funeral that the reason he couldn’t fall asleep anymore like he had the first couple of times was because Buck wasn’t next to him anymore. 

He didn’t know what to do with that information, so he just sort of left it alone. For now. 

And things were okay, considering...

It was the day of the funeral, and everyone was dreading the day that was before them. 

That morning in the kitchen, Buck broke down in tears knowing what the day was. Eddie came in shortly after and noticed Buck was barely keeping it together. 

“Buck, you uh - you okay?” 

Buck looked back at him and just shook his head while tears dripped down his face. 

“We are going to get through this together,” Eddie said while putting his right hand over Buck’s shoulder before pulling him into a hug that left a small sense of comfort in Buck’s aching heart. Eddie’s too. 

“Thank you, Eddie. Again. Thank you for being here.” 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, Buck. He was…is my captain too. And if you need me, I’m here. Always .” 

Buck managed to nod his head in response. 

Buck, Eddie, and Chris all got dressed and ready to leave. 

They made it there, along with everyone else that loved Bobby and was a part of his life. 

The funeral started and the air felt melancholy that day. 

They went all out for a Captains funeral. They had the flag on the truck, everyone in uniform, all of the firefighters, and most of the city there to honor Captain Bobby Nash. 

Buck was chosen to ring the bell three times for Bobby. He fought back tears the whole time while doing so. 

It was a beautiful service. A service that did justice for Bobby’s life. It was almost over and people were getting ready to leave. 

Tommy was there, which made absolutely no fucking sense, but “alright” Buck thought. That was the least of Buck’s worries that day. 

Well, it was a beautiful service until- 

“I’m not dead! I’m not dead!” A voice shouted out running into the crowd of people standing around. 

Everyone’s faces dropped . 

It was Bobby. Bobby Nash. At his own funeral, ALIVE ! 

“What the hell, Bobby? You chose NOW to do this?” Athena asked in confusion. 

“Wait a damn minute! Bobby? Athena? What the hell is going on?” Buck spoke over everyone practically shouting to the top of his lungs, anger in his voice. 

Eddie looked at Buck, worried. 

“Let me explain, Buck. Let me ex-“ Bobby said. 

Before Bobby could finish his sentence, Buck ran off to find a quiet spot. He broke down in tears. Everything he had been through, everything everyone had been through that week was all a lie . 

Bobby was alive? 

Eddie went off to chase Buck to find him on the ground on the side of a building, weeping . Begging for air. 

“Buck?” Eddie asked. 

“How- uh- how could he do this?” Buck tried to get the words out of his mouth, but was failing miserably. 

“I do not know, Buck. I’m sure he had a good reason. Just let him explain. Buck , he's alive . He’s okay. We’re okay. Everyone is okay” 

Eddie pulled Buck off of the ground and pulled him into a hug. They stood there for a while comforting each other. . 

“Boys” Bobby’s voice echoed behind them. 

Buck and Eddie broke away from their hug to give Bobby a chance to explain himself. 

“Eddie, it’s good to see you. Thanks for coming to my funeral. Buck, listen to me… I wanted to tell you guys, but Athena made me promise… promise… not to. She called the lab and told me they would arrest me because of the antidote and told me to fake my death.” 

“But you… you were rolled out?” 

“I know and I escaped, remember? They lost my body. I’m so sorry, Buck. I had to give Athena a chance to fix everything and get it sorted out.” 

They stood there arguing over this before Buck could forgive him. After all, he was just happy Bobby was not actually dead . 

“Let me take you home, Buck.” Eddie blurted out. 

“Okay, Eddie. Please.” 

Everything was right in the world. Well, almost. 

While on the way back to Eddie’s little ass car, Buck and Eddie ran into somebody . 

“Well, I didn’t see that one coming! Diaz! You came back! Buck, you must be fucking thrilled,” Tommy scoffed. 

Eddie glanced over at Buck and then back to Tommy. 

“What the fuck did you say?” Eddie asked. 

“Just that…Buck must be happy that you’re back. You know, considering he couldn’t even sleep in your house until I came over.” 

“Now is not the fucking time you dick,” Eddie shouted back. 

Buck gulped. 

“Tommy, just don’t. Okay?” Buck shouted hesitantly. 

“The two of you really need to get your fuckin shit together, my god . Buck, next time you want to fuck me because Eddie left, just keep it to yourself. Okay?” Tommy said in a sarcastic voice before pushing both out of his way to leave. 

“Uh, Buck? What did he just say?” 

“It’s nothing. Drop it.” 

Eddie put that thought in the back of his brain and waited to unpack it until later. 

They found Chris, hopped in Eddie’s teeny tiny ass car, and went back home. 

Eddie and Chris stayed one more night before going back to Texas. 

Buck was still sort of angry at the whole situation, but was happy Bobby was alive. He was happy he got to see Eddie and Chris again.

Things could be worse. 

Eddie and Chris gave Buck a hug goodbye and hit the road, again . 

Buck was alone, again . 

Eddie was going back to a place he hated, again . 

A few weeks had passed. Eddie was having trouble sleeping at night. He was going over everything in his mind, over and over. 

How he felt thinking that Bobby was dead, how it felt thinking Buck could have been dead, how it felt leaving his home, again. 

How it felt knowing he could comfort Buck and that Buck could comfort him. How he felt at home in Buck’s house. 

How life felt with him, Buck, and Chris all in one house together . How it felt natural to him. 

How it felt wrapping his arms around Buck. How it felt having Buck’s arms wrapped around him. 

The thoughts just wouldn’t stop. 

Leaving LA was worse this time around. Leaving Buck was worse this time around. He already got what he left LA for. Chris. 

Chris forgave him and they were back living together. 

So this time when Eddie left LA, he allowed himself to miss Buck. Allowed himself to grieve what he left behind in LA. Actually allowed himself this time. 

Even knowing that everyone at the 118 could be in trouble, Eddie remembered how the thought of Buck being hurt hurt him the most. 

Eddie could feel his heart pounding and hands shaking just like they were on the drive to LA. 

Tommy’s words echoed in Eddie’s brain, again and again. 

“Next time you want to fuck me because Eddie left, just keep it to yourself okay?” 

Wait a second, Eddie thought to himself. 

Did Buck fuck Tommy in our house? 

Of course he fucking did. 

Why else would Tommy say that? 

This caused Eddie’s emotions to completely spiral out of control. 

These thoughts stayed with Eddie for a long time until he had the courage one night to pull out his phone and text Buck. 

Eddie: Hey, Buck. Everything okay? 

Buck: I’m okay. Things are okay. You? 

Eddie: Yeah, I’m okay. I have a quick question. 

Buck: sure? 

Eddie: That day at the funeral, what was Tommy talking about? 

Buck: oh… I was hoping you forgot about that. 

Eddie: um, no. Sort of hard to forget, Buck. 

Buck: It was nothing, really. 

Eddie: You know you can tell me anything, right? 

Buck: Eddie…

Eddie: please? Buck? 

Buck: okay. I couldn’t sleep at the house when you left. Had to sleep at Maddie’s. She told me to make new friends so I tried to hangout with Ravi. Unfortunately, Ravi ran into Tommy at the bar and I sort of slept with him. Then we stopped talking. 

Eddie: why? And why did my name come up? 

Buck: Eddie… 

Eddie: please? 

Buck: because the next morning, he sort of said it was weird that I was living in your house and then he sort of said you were his competition and that if you were gone then he would try and be with me again. Which is crazy and I tried to tell him you’re straight. Then I yelled at him then he left. That’s all. No biggie. 

Eddie could feel his heart drop. 

Eddie: He thought that I… was competition? 

Buck: yeah, crazy right? He’s insane. 

Eddie: You okay? I’m sorry that happened. Fuck him. 

Buck: yeah I’m okay. Sorry I didn’t tell you. Didn’t want to make it weird because Tommy just said crazy shit. lol. 

Eddie: I get it.

Eddie: Goodnight, Buck. I hope you sleep well. 

Buck: You too, Eddie. 

After what Buck just told him, Eddie was definitely not getting any sleep. He stayed up all night replaying everything that has ever happened between him and Buck. Everything that has ever happened between him, Buck, and Tommy, everything. Everything . 

And my god , he was in love with Buck. 

He has always been in love with Buck. 

The next morning, Eddie and Chris were at the table eating breakfast. 

Eddie was still trying to sit with all of his thoughts from the night before. 

“Hey Dad, you okay?” Chris asked. 

“Yeah, bud. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“It’s just… Do you miss Buck?” 

Eddie paused. 

“Yeah, bud. I do. A lot. Do you?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, I do. I’m sad we had to leave him. That you had to leave him. It was fun living with him for a while even though things were….sad. Do you think maybe we could move back?” 

“You- you would be okay with that, Chris?” 

“Yes, Dad.” 

Eddie mumbled under his breath, “oh my god . Do I have to tell him I’m in love with him now?” 

Chris looked up,”what was that, Dad? Do you love Buck??” 

“Um, yeah bud… I think I do. Is that … is that okay?” 

“Only if he loves you back, Dad. To be honest, I’m sure he does.” Chris let out a giggle. 

Eddie laughed at Chris’s response. 

They spent the rest of the day packing up the house into another U-Haul truck. Eddie didn’t even bother to tell Buck. 

He would worry about the house they were leaving in Texas later. Assuming Buck would let them have a place to stay. 

Oh fuck, what if he doesn’t love me back? 

Nevermind. It’s Buck. He loves me back. 

Probably. 

Fuck it. 

It’s a surprise? 

Eddie and Chris made another long ass drive in the teeny tiny ass car. 

Man, does Eddie miss his truck. 

Eddie didn’t even come up with a plan, didn’t even come up with a speech, didn’t even hesitate anything. 

He was just determined . He figured if Chris knew about him and Buck, then surely Buck had to… right? 

Buck was sitting in his house, alone , watching some random movie the night Eddie and Chris made it back into LA. 

He was starting to get through things after the whole lab explosion, Bobby “dying” thing, and Eddie’s absence again. 

He realized sometimes it’s okay to be alone. 

Sometimes, it’s needed. 

Soon, he found out that he would never be alone again. 

There was a loud knock at the door. So loud it could have been SWAT coming after him, or coming after Bobby. Who knows. 

Buck pushed his blanket off of him and headed for the door. It was dark out. 

He opened it and his mouth dropped before he managed to put a smile on his face. 

“Eddie- what are you doing here? Did uh- someone else die?” Buck asked. 

“Well, not exactly, Buck. Also, not funny.” Eddie shook his head only somewhat amused. 

“Uh, where’s Chris? Is he okay? Oh my god…. Is he okay?” Buck asked. 

Eddie let out a chuckle. “Yes, Buck. Chris is fine. He’s with his Abuela. I’ll pick him up tomorrow. Can I stay here?” 

“Sure, Eddie! You’re always welcome. It is sort of your house after all.” Buck laughed. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’re back here, again?” Buck asked, almost confused. 

“Can I uh, stay here for good?” Eddie asked hesitantly. 

“Are you really kicking me out right now?” 

“Not exactly, Buck. I’m asking if me and Chris can move in with you.” 

“Um? I mean sure… but there’s only two rooms.”

“That’s okay, Buck. That’s all we need. At least for now. If you want more kids then I guess we would need a bigger house.” Eddie chuckled. 

Buck scrunched his eyebrows and tilted his head giving Eddie a very confused look. 

Eddie really needs to learn how to start a conversation. Seriously. What the fuck? 

“Um, Eddie . Wha-?” 

Before Buck could finish his sentence, Eddie crossed the threshold of the front door and grabbed Buck’s face placing a kiss onto his lips. Their first kiss. 

Eddie pulled back from it, ever so slightly. 

Only until Buck grabbed a hold of Eddie’s shirt and pulled him in for another kiss, a deeper kiss. A kiss they waited seven years for. 

Eddie slammed the door behind him. 

They kissed, over and over. Eddie parted his lips allowing Buck an open invitation to explore his mouth deeper. 

Each pair of hands grasped at  whatever part of each other's bodies they could reach. 

Buck, in shock, pulled away for a second to ask, “uh, Eddie? I think you have some explaining to do. Care to share?” 

“Oh. Right. Sorry. This was sort of random, huh?” 

“Sort of. You didn’t even kiss me yet and you’re already asking about more kids?” Buck chuckled. 

“I really need to get better at starting conversations, don’t I?” Eddie laughed. 

“May-be, but I’m happy you suck at it because this was unexpected, Eddie Diaz .” 

“ I just realized how much not having you in my life affected me. The thought of..losing you affected me. Between what I already feel for you, the thoughts of me losing you, the thought of me leaving you again, what Tommy said, Chris even pointed it out to me. All of it, Buck. It made me realize that I - I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

Eddie stepped back in shock that those words made their way out of his own mouth at ease . 

Afraid of Buck’s response, Eddie almost had tears bubbling in his eyes. 

“I’m in love with you too, Eddie. I just now realized that. I thought you were… straight?” 

Eddie laughed, “me too, Buck, me too. But- if being straight means I can’t be in love with you, then that’s not what I am.” 

Buck had a smirk creep up on his face as Eddie stood before him. 

“Are you going to kiss me again, or what Buck?” 

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Buck said before he kissed Eddie again. 

Over and over and over and over and over. 

Two idiots .

They are clearly made for each other. 

Buck is now whole again. He is pieced back together. And so is Eddie. 

They each found the other half of their heart with the other.