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Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng was content with his life. He had his sect, which he built with his own hands, his people, whom he selected personally one by one after the massacre of Lotus Pier. He had Jing Ling - his pride and joy - and everyone who was important to him finally found their happy ending.

But even if he was content with his life, he couldn’t stop thinking about the past. About “what if’s” and everything he had lost. Especially on the nights when he couldn’t sleep and was just lying in his bed, like today.

He was lying in his bed after a long day as a sect leader. He had already answered all the correspondence that needed to be answered, trained his disciples, helped some of the villagers, and worked without a break. All so that he would be too exhausted and would just fall asleep. But he couldn’t sleep.

He was just lying on his bed, arms and legs spread like a starfish and was just staring through the window. He could see the moon, shining brightly in the night. It was nearly a full moon, and Jiang Cheng couldn’t stop staring at it. While he was staring at the moon, he remembered his past, all that happened in the last years and grieved what he had lost.

In the early years during and after the war against the Wens, he hadn’t had the time to think about everything that happened. He had a sect to build, people to recruit, and his nephew to raise. He even didn’t have the time to process the losses he had - especially the death of his sister and his brother. The first years he lived like he was in a trance, the only fuel for not breaking down was anger.

So, he worked and worked - the only way to keep the nightmares away - and did everything he could to keep the rest of the things that were important to him safe. And if people would fear him because of it - even better.

Fear protected his sect and people would think twice to go against his sect. He wasn’t the weak young sect leader anymore who couldn’t protect the only family he had left. He was strong and he achieved everything with his own bare hands - that is what kept him going for the last thirteen years. Even if he couldn’t protect everyone - he indeed did the impossible and now his sect is one of the strongest there is.

But everything came crashing down after the Guanyin Temple incident. The truth about his core, all the truth that got revealed on that day. Everything he did - everything he achieved was now tainted because he wasn’t the one that did it. It was his brother’s doing. If it wasn’t for the sacrifice Wei Wuxian did, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have achieved anything. And Jiang Cheng was so angry! But also, so hurt. How could Wei Wuxian hide this secret? Just why did he do it? Why didn’t he say anything to him?

Thinking about all of this, he couldn’t help but think more about his brother. Or maybe he shouldn’t say brother anymore. Because even if Wei Wuxian was back, he wasn’t Jiang Cheng’s brother anymore. Wei Wuxian said it himself - let the past be in the past and move on. And Jiang Cheng had to accept this. His brother deserved a new start - even if it meant that the past Wei Wuxian meant was also him.

But Jiang Cheng couldn’t let this go - couldn’t let him go. Not with this core inside of him. Not when everything he has done for his sect was in truth Wei Wuxian's achievements. Because Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be strong enough to do everything without his core. 

But he couldn’t be angry at Wei Wuxian anymore because that would make him a hypocrite wouldn’t it? He also sacrificed himself. He just wanted his brother to be safe and sound. At that moment, it didn’t matter to him what would happen to him. Wei Wuxian would do the right thing. He was always better than him, more talented, more friendly and more intelligent. He would do the impossible and would be able to restore the legacy of his parents and his sect. 

Even his own father would have wanted to have Wei Wuxian as the next sect leader - his father’s clear disinterest, dissatisfaction and disappointment at Jiang Cheng were clear signs for it. But his mother was the force against it. Of course her pride wouldn’t allow it to admit no matter how hard Jiang Cheng would train, would learn, no matter how many hours of sleep he would lose to learn more, to practice more - he would never be a match for the raw talent that Wei Wuxian was. 

Jiang Cheng knew his mother loved him and that everything she had done was to protect him. He loved his mother but he never wanted to be like her. He wanted to be someone who gave his love freely, without conditions and he wanted to build relationships based on trust and not fear. Even if he inherited his mother’s temper, even if he often lashed out and was angry, he still wanted to give his love freely.

But his parents really made it hard for him. He couldn’t say anything against them and then he had lost them because of it. But he still had his siblings and would do anything to protect them! And he proved it to himself - even in his lowest moments he willingly sacrificed himself to save the people who meant everything to him. That was the proof he needed to see that he can love the people important to him unconditionally! He was ready to die for his family and he didn’t mind what the Wens would do to him. 

When he got captured he thought that they would just kill him and would hang his body like a trophy - like they did with his parents' bodies. But what they did to him - don't think about it Jiang Cheng don’t think. But even in these moments he was just glad that he could save Wei Wuxian and if his life was the only thing that it would take to save the last people who mean so much for him then it was a price he was willing to pay. 

Even with all the torture, even when Wen Zhuliu melted his core - he just had to wait for the day where he could finally rest, reunite with his parents and maybe get reincarnated into a better life for him. Where he could be the person he wanted to be and love everyone he loved freely. 

But then everything happened differently. Wei Wuxian came to rescue him, Wei Wuxian risked his life to save his worthless life and Jiang Cheng was just so angry about it. Just why did Wei Wuxian come, why did he rescue him?! 

Without Jiang Cheng in the picture, Wei Wuxian would have been the next sect leader of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, he would do the impossible and protect the legacy of his parents. But now Jiang Cheng was still alive and the burden of responsibility fell on him - how could he protect everyone without his core?! How could he rebuild his sect, recruit people and be strong with something so essential missing? How could he fight in the war?! 

The days after his rescue were a blur. He just knew that he screamed and was unstable until Wen Qing put him into an induced coma. And after he became stable again to talk, Wei Wuxian gave him hope, his core could be repaired again! He trusted Wei Wuxian so much that he didn’t see any fault in his explanation. And it worked! He had his core back! 

But then Wei Wuxian disappeared, demonic cultivation happened, Wei Wuxian abandoned him because of the Wen remnants, Jin Zixuan died, his sister died, Jin Ling was all alone and Wei Wuxian died. 

If he knew what would happen after he got his core back - no, after Wei Wuxian made such a sacrifice - he would just have killed himself even before the Wens could so everyone who died would get to live again. 

Why was his life spared? Why did Jing Ling have to lose both of his parents? Why was he the only one who survived? 

No, he wasn’t the only one anymore - but the brother he once had wasn’t there anymore. 

After the events in the Guanyin Temple Jiang Cheng wanted so many times to reach out to Wei Wuxian. But he couldn’t forget the way Wei Wuxian looked at the temple. After Wei Wuxian thanked him for giving him Chenqing back again Jiang Cheng wanted to tell him everything. But he couldn’t, because after his thanks Wei Wuxian turned to Hanguang-Jun and the Lan Junior who was often with them. And he looked so happy with them and didn’t turn back, so Jiang Cheng couldn’t burden him even more with the past. 

Jiang Cheng knew at this moment that his brother was really gone and the relationship they once had would never bloom again. Wei Wuxian left his past in his past. And even if Jiang Cheng never thought that Wei Wuxian would leave him, he did. Twice. 

So he just walked away, ignored the questions his nephew had and just went home. 

Because even if he still loved his brother, even if he still wanted to be in Wei Wuxian's life - he couldn’t go against his wishes. If Wei Wuxian wanted to forget his past, who was Jiang Cheng to deny this wish? 

So he pretended that nothing happened between them. They were strangers and Jiang Cheng had to act like it! But it didn’t stop the heavy feeling in his heart from happening. That is why he tried his best just to avoid Wei Wuxian. And luckily they didn’t meet that often.

Thinking about the Guanyin Temple incident he also thought about his nephew. After everything was settled, Jin Ling became the new sect leader of the Lanling Jin Sect and all the sect members that were corrupt were picked out, banished or imprisoned for their crimes. 

Of course Jiang Cheng helped Jin Ling to restore his sect and its reputation. But a really big help was the sect leader of the Qinghe Nie Sect - his old friend Nie Huaisang. 

Everybody now knew just how capable he was and that he wasn’t just a headshaker. They both helped Jin Ling to recruit new and capable people, so the Lanling Jin Sect could begin anew. 

And Jin Ling did such a good job as a new sect leader! Not even a month after the new regiment under Jin Ling, the Lanling Jin Sect did so many good deeds. They helped the poor and the people who needed it, they built new homes and went from Nighthunts to Nighthunts. Everyone had just sung praises for his nephew and his people loved and respected him! 

But Jiang Cheng was still so sad for his nephew, for him to take so much responsibility so young and to lose his childhood. So he was more than glad that he made some friends. The two Lan Juniors and the young master Ouyang were a big help for Jin Ling to have some resemblance of his childhood. 

And of course Jiang Cheng would help him when he needed it. But Jin Ling didn’t need much help. After Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang helped Jin Ling to sort out the corrupt members of the Lanling Jin Sect, Jin Ling didn’t ask for help anymore. He had done everything by himself and Jiang Cheng was so proud of him! 

But he also felt lonely, because Jin Ling spent even less time with him now. But he wouldn’t hold Jin Ling back, he knew how it harmed the upbringing of Jin Ling. 

Even if Jiang Cheng didn’t know it better then. He just lost everyone and Jin Ling was the only thing that was left. Of course he became overbearing and overprotective and he couldn’t help to fall back in these patterns sometimes. 

But he wanted to trust in his nephew, trust in his abilities and he wanted to trust Jin Ling to reach for help if he needed it. Because at the end of the day he loved his nephew so much and was so proud of what he achieved in his young years. 

And he had to admit that the new friendship between the two Lan juniors and the young master Ouyang really helped Jin Ling. So he was just glad that even after everything that happened, Jin Ling still gained so much. He deserved it. And he could still see his nephew in the joint Nighthunts with the other sects! Even if that didn’t happen too often, he was still thankful for the time he had with his nephew.

And every time he saw his nephew, he became even prouder! Jin Ling really blossomed in his role as sect leader but he still hadn’t lost his childhood. He would see how Jin Ling could command his sect members with much gusto, but he also could see how he would be relaxed and still be a teenager with his friends. Jiang Cheng was so glad that Jin Ling became a sect leader in a time of peace - even if he became a sect leader too young. And he was so thankful for his friends, but of course he wouldn’t say that out loud.

The downside of his nephew being friends with the two Lan juniors was that he would sometimes see Wei Wuxian on the joint Nighthunts. They were civil with each other - Jiang Cheng would just ignore him. 

But when nobody was looking he would check on Wei Wuxian, check on injuries or other problems even he wouldn’t admit it to himself. 

But every time he looked at Wei Wuxian, he just saw how happy Wei Wuxian was with his husband and his son. 

The news of their elopement reached him just two weeks after the Guanyin Temple incident. Even if his first reaction was anger and frustration - for not being informed personally or not even being invited to the wedding - his real feelings were happiness and relief. Happiness for all the good things that happened to Wei Wuxian after everything he sacrificed. And relief for Wei Wuxian to finally have found his happy end.

He was also so thankful for the person who never stopped loving and believing in Wei Wuxian even after everything that happened. Even if he never wouldn’t say it out loud and even if this person was Hanguang-Jun. 

But he was still jealous. Jiang Cheng always thought that he would be next to Wei Wuxian. The Two Prides of Yunmeng. And even if Jiang Cheng knew that these feelings were nothing but his selfish desires, he couldn’t help to feel them. Because even if Wei Wuxian didn’t see him as family anymore, even let the past go, let Jiang Cheng go, Jiang Cheng could never let him go. 

But he wouldn’t burden Wei Wuxian with this anymore. Jiang Cheng already broke down and talked about his feelings, they both apologized and everything was settled there in the temple. Wei Wuxian now had new people he cared for, his husband and his son - and he was so glad that the small boy from the Burial Mounds had survived and found a new family in Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun. 

One of the things he regretted so much was the Siege of the Burial Mounds. He knew that the Wen remnants were just elderly and non cultivators, he knew about the small boy. But Jin Guangshan and the other sect leaders planted a seed of doubt in him and he didn’t have anyone else who could have supported him. Zewu-Jun, Lianfang-Zun and Chifeng-Zun had their brotherhood, from the four big sects three were connected through an unbreakable bond. And Jiang Cheng was even more alone after that and the pressure was even bigger without his head discipline and his sect still in shambles. 

So he had to do what he was supposed to do, he had to protect his sect. Like Wei Wuxian had people he wanted to protect, he also had people he wanted to protect. 

But he knew that Lianfang-Zun was right. If the bond between him and Wei Wuxian was stronger, if he knew the truth and if he helped his brother - everything would be different. 

But nobody can turn back time, can change what happened. So he is even more glad that the people he loved so deeply are happy now and not alone - even if it isn’t him on their side. He saw how the new friendship between the juniors helped Jin Ling so much and he saw how happy Wei Wuxian was with his new life. And if the price for their happiness was loneliness for him - Jiang Cheng would always gladly pay the price. So he can definitely say that he is content with his life.

So why couldn’t he sleep at night? The nightmares were always a problem, he learned to deal with it and still get some sleep. But after the Guanyin Temple incident, sleeping became a really big burden. 

Before the incident his nightmares were “just” the terrible things that happened to him. But now - every night he dreams of the same thing. 

How Wei Wuxian pierces through his chest and takes out his core. How he hands it to Jiang Cheng. How he hears him say “Now my debts are paid”. And how he vanishes and leaves Jiang Cheng all alone again. 

Jiang Cheng already had not an ideal sleeping schedule but with these new nightmares it already got worse. But he couldn’t be weak now, even though he couldn't sleep, he still needed to get some rest. So he did something he started to do after the Guanyin Temple incident - he meditated. 

Tomorrow was the Discussion Conference in Cloud Recesses and he had to be fit for it, because it was the first Discussion Conference after everything that happened. So he sat up in his bed, put himself in the lotus position, closed his eyes and meditated. He needed to calm his mind as much as possible so he could be ready for the long trip and the three days in Cloud Recesses.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen was a broken man. Betrayed by his sworn-brother, being a tool for killing his other sworn-brother, doing nothing when everyone turned against the one person his brother loved the most and even letting his elders and his uncle punish his poor little brother. Just to learn that everything he believed in, everyone he trusted was false. How could he have been so blind? 

But still after everything he had his sect, he had his reputation and his family. But did he even deserve all of this? Why was he spared? Why didn’t he get his punishment? These questions were nagging him daily and that’s why he couldn’t bring himself to be the same man he was before the Guanyin Temple incident. The betrayal and the guilt were just too much for him to handle. He always thought he was strong. Everything he did came easy for him. Everybody trusted him and he was the perfect peacemaker in every situation. 

And he always had someone who supported him. His sect and his family of course. And even during the war there was someone who was helping him. 

The time he fled his sect was the scariest time of his life, but then he met the most helpful, wonderful and caring man he had ever seen - Meng Yao. Meng Yao cared for him, treated his wounds and kept him safe from the Wen soldiers. Even if the Wen soldiers attacked Meng Yao and even if it was too dangerous for him to hide Lan Xichen, Meng Yao took all these risks just to keep Lan Xichen safe. 

How could he not trust this man who gave him so much security and who helped him in his toughest times? 

That’s why he was so glad that Meng Yao made it into the Qinghe Nie Clan, he was sure Meng Yao would blossom under the training of Nie Mingjue and he was so sure that such a clever, trusting and capable man was just what Nie Mingjue needed under his sect. Especially since Meng Yao wanted to be stronger so he could return to his father and ask him to take him into his sect. 

But he never thought that they both would have such a massive fallout. Lan Xichen was so sure that it was just a big misunderstanding. Meng Yao of course had to do some cruel things to work as a spy for Wen Ruohan. But with his black and white justice thinking Nie Mingjue just saw the bad things that Meng Yao did. But he didn’t realize just how many people Meng Yao had saved. 

So Lan Xichen wanted to do something to get them together again. So they could overcome their differences and became friends again. That’s why he suggested the brotherhood between the three of them. And so the Venerated Triad was founded. 

Jin Guangshan even took Meng Yao into the Lanling Jin Sect and even gave him a courtesy name: Jin Guangyao! 

But the relationship between Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue got even more tense after that. And the different opinions between Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangshan didn’t help. 

Jin Guangshan wanted to have a new position, a position above all of the other sects - the Chief Cultivator. But Nie Mingjue was one of the strongest forces against it. They always fought at the Discussion Conferences. Lan Xichen and Meng Yao tried to calm Nie Mingjue down, but his temper got worse and worse. His energy levels were really unstable and he was so close to a qi deviation, that Lan Xichen and Meng Yao started to play him the “Purification Tone” so they could help their dear friend and brother. 

But even if his energy levels got better, the tension between Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao just got bigger and bigger. And then a big fight between the two happened, where Nie Mingjue even pushed Meng Yao down the stairs. Lan Xichen didn’t understand just what could’ve happened that Nie Mingjue would react this way! He was so sure that it had to be a misunderstanding. 

So he tried his best to play the peacemaker between them. He used the excuse that he still had a sect to rebuild and told his brothers he didn’t have the time to play the “Purification Tone” for Nie Mingjue anymore so that Meng Yao could play the “Purification Tone” alone instead and the two of them could make up again. And he could see just how hard Meng Yao was trying to help his friend. Even after that big fight Meng Yao never gave up and came everyday to the Unclean Realm to help Nie Mingjue with his energy levels. He even taught Nie Huaisang the tune so they both could help their dear brother. 

But everything was just a farce. Nie Mingjue still died because of the qi deviation. And to think Lan Xichen cried on the shoulder of Meng Yao, of the killer of his dear brother. 

How could he have been so blind? Was Meng Yao always so cunning? Did he plan all of this from the beginning? 

Lan Xichen just couldn’t believe that the man he met when he fled was the same man that planned the deaths of his sworn brother, his father, his brother and of all the other people. 

But could Lan Xichen even trust his gut feeling anymore? Could he even trust himself anymore? Why didn’t he see earlier how much Meng Yao had to suffer? Why couldn’t he help Nie Mingjue? Why did his brothers have to die? Why was he the only one to survive? These were the questions Lan Xichen had asked himself over and over again.

After the Guayin Temple incident he tried so hard to still be the same man he was before. His uncle even helped him and was always by his side. He still wanted to take his responsibility as a sect leader seriously, he wanted to be there for his people and his sect. Especially since his dear brother Wangji could now do anything he wanted to do and to be with the love of his life. He didn’t want to burden Wangji with all of this - with his feelings and his grief. 

Wangji already suffered enough, the 33 scars on his back was something Lan Xichen would feel guilty of till the end of his time. Wangji visited him just one day after the incident and told him about the elopement he and Wei Wuxian wanted to do. And he was so happy for his dear little brother, he suffered the last thirteen years so much and deserved this happy ending! 

And even if he was so happy, he also felt jealous. Jealous that Wangji would leave him now, jealous that he wasn’t Wangji's first priority anymore and jealous he never got to feel the kind of love his father and his brother felt. 

But he was also so angry at these feelings. How can he think about it when he had done so many bad things and robbed Wangji 13 years of his love? 

So the least he could do was to hold on, to do what everyone expected him to do so Wangji could finally be free and happy. 

But Lan Xichen lasted just two weeks. Just two weeks! Why did he become so weak? First it was just some small things he forgot or couldn’t do anymore. But meeting after meeting and day after day he got worse and worse until he couldn’t do anything anymore. He just lasted two mere weeks before he put himself into seclusion. He knew that his uncle didn’t want to announce it to the rest of the sects, he knew that his uncle hoped that he would come out of seclusion again. His uncle tried to talk to him. Even if he never opened his doors his uncle came everyday to persuade him to leave seclusion. But after some time his uncle had given up. 

The last time his uncle came to visit him he told him that he would tell the sects about his seclusion at the next Discussion Conference here at Cloud Recesses and that he and Wangji would take on the responsibility as acting sect leaders. 

That was when Lan Xichen started to panic and for the first time since days he asked a question. 

“But what about Master Wei?”

He couldn’t ask more, his voice was raw and it hurt to talk. But he thought of his brother, of the happiness he finally gained. Would both of them be separated again? Was it his fault again that his brother had to suffer? He just heard his uncle snort. 

“Of course your brother wouldn’t be back without this trouble maker. I had no choice but to allow him to live here. But that doesn’t mean that I have accepted him and the relationship he has with Wangji.” 

Before Lan Xichen could even say anything he just heard his uncle walk away and he was alone again. 

Some days after his talk with his uncle his brother came to visit him. He tried to talk to him, tried to assure him that he didn’t do anything wrong and that he would do anything so that Lan Xichen could get better again. Wangji came day after day, tried again and again to talk to his brother but Lan Xichen still couldn’t say anything. 

He felt even more guilty for making his brother console him and for making him worry. Lan Xichen was the big brother, he had to be there for Wangji and not the other way around! But now here he was, weaker than ever and being a burden for everyone that means so much to him and that he wanted to protect! 

Even if Wangji tried for some time to talk to him, even if he visited everyday, Lan Xichen just couldn’t do anything. He was feeling too much guilt for taking the dreams of his brother away and for putting all the responsibility on his shoulders. 

And then one day even Wangji didn’t come to visit him again. And he was all alone again. But that was what he deserved. He had to pay for his sins and for all the hurt he caused. 

Today was just like any other day in seclusion. Lan Xichen was just laying on the floor, because he didn’t deserve the comfort of his bed, and was staring at his ceiling. He would just get up if he had to go to the toilet or if the hunger or the thirst became too much he had to eat and drink something. 

But even then he could just eat and drink the bare minimum and would just lay on the floor again. He didn’t know how many days had passed since he was in seclusion, he lost the count. He didn’t bathe, he didn’t clean up, he didn’t change his clothes. He was just laying there, his core doing everything to keep him alive. 

But doing nothing didn’t stop him from thinking about all of the people he lost and all of the lives that were lost because he trusted the wrong person. 

He thought about his father, about his mother. About how much he detested his father for going into seclusion, for locking up his mother, for leaving the responsibility of the sect and the upbringing of both him and Wangji to his uncle. For all the pain his father had caused his mother, his brother and him.

But he couldn’t hate him - not after what he had done after the Wens had attacked Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen tried to flee with all of the old scrolls and books that they had kept in the library but he was soon surrounded by Wen soldiers. He was ready to fight and thought about a way to get out of there. But what he didn’t expect was to see his father, jumping in front of him, fighting with all his mind and shouting “RUN!” to him. His father was the reason why he could flee and save the sacred books and scrolls. And he was the reason why his father died. 

So how could he hate his father, when he was the reason that he was alive? And how could he hate his father when he was doing the same thing his father had done? Running away from his responsibilities and becoming a burden for his uncle and his brother. He was the reason that Wei Wuxian had to live in a sect that, although allowed him to be here, didn’t welcome him. And he was the reason why Wangji couldn’t live freely with his husband anymore and instead had to take the responsibility as an acting sect leader. 

Lan Xichen couldn’t help but feel more guilty because of it. Wangji couldn’t travel the world with Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian had to live like a caged bird because of him. Everything was his fault. 

Regret was the other feeling he had. He knew just how unstable Wei Wuxian had become during the war and after he reappeared, knew how his brother had suffered and did everything to bring Wei Wuxian to the right path. 

But he was so occupied with his own brothers, that he ignored everything else. He didn’t help his brother, he didn’t help so Wei Wuxian didn’t have to flee with the Wen remnants. He saw how Sect Leader Jiang and Wangji had suffered because of the decisions Wei Wuxian made. But he didn’t do anything against it. 

At that time it was more important to him that his sworn brothers got along, so he realized too late just what damage he had done. He never thought about how his brotherhood would damage the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. He just saw it as a way to help the friendship of his brothers. 

But now he could see how alone Sect Leader Jiang must have felt. And how he just broke under the pressure of the other sects and did something he had thought he needed to do. 

Why didn’t Lan Xichen help him? If he helped him, if he showed his support for the Wen remnants and the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Wangji wouldn’t have to suffer for thirteen years and Sect Leader Jiang still would have a brother. And the death of so many people, the death of Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixun, Sect Leader Jin and Madam Jin, the massacre of Tingshan-He clan - all of these wouldn’t happen. 

And thinking about all of this he couldn’t help but think more about Sect Leader Jiang. Despite everything that he had lost, despite his breakdown at the Guanyin Temple, he just stood up and did what he had to do. He was so jealous of the young sect leader, because he also wished to be as strong as him. And he couldn’t help but feel guilty, because he didn’t help the young sect leader during the war. 

He knew how it was to be a sect leader so young, but he still had his sect and his family. But Sect Leader Jiang just lost everything, had no one by his side and had to fight for his right to be and to exist. And instead of helping him, mentor him or give him his support Lan Xichen didn’t see it as his problem. He had, in his opinion, more important things to do. 

How arrogant he was! One of the things he would change if he could was to offer a helping hand to Sect Leader Jiang. Maybe then Wei Wuxian didn’t have to feel the need to flee with the Wen remnants and instead could ask for help. Maybe then Sect Leader Jiang could protect his brother, because he would have the support of another big sect. Maybe then all of the people who died wouldn’t have to die. But he couldn’t turn back time and he couldn’t change anything. 

So he had to live with these regrets and this guilt. That was his punishment for his arrogance and ignorance. But how long would he have to live like this? How long would it take to finally be set free? 

No, he didn’t deserve to be set free. All he could do was to lay there on the floor, stare at the ceiling and do nothing. He could see how the night became the day again and after some time he also could hear the rain. He started to listen to it, how it hit the roof of the Hanshi and how it splashed in the little cold spring he had in front of his house. He had it built after the war so he could have his own little cold spring to cultivate his core and to become even stronger. 

But now the sound of the splashing rain in the cold spring sounded mocking, like all his strength was for nothing. And Lan Xichen wanted to tune it out and wanted to just hear the rain. But the sound of the splashing became louder and louder, till Lan Xichen couldn’t take it anymore.

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He was about to put something into his ear to make the sound stop but just in this moment a thought passed through his head. What if the cold spring was calling him? What if this was the perfect solution for all of his problems? What if he would finally be free of being a burden? He just had to stand up, seal his spiritual power and just emerge himself in the cold water of the cold spring, till he didn’t hear and feel anything anymore and till he could just vanish and drown with his guilt and sorrow. 

Could it be really this easy? But he couldn’t go on like this anymore. Like a burden, too weak to protect the people important to him and too weak to even talk with his family again. So with a heavy heart and shaky legs he stood up. Everything was spinning but he had to go on. His hand was trembling when he sealed off his spiritual energy, his mind began to panic and his whole body started to tremble but he did it. And now he just had to walk out and let himself fall into the cold spring and everything would finally be over.

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Summary: 

Lan Xichen decided that the only way to escape all of his guilt and regret was to do something drastic.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng was still meditating and was thinking about all the things that happened after the Guanyin Temple incident and after Jin Ling became the Sect Leader of Lanling Jin. Jiang Cheng always had a little hope that maybe Jin Ling could be his heir, but he knew that he couldn’t take Jin Ling's birthright away. 

So after the incident he talked with Jin Ling and with his head discipline Jiang Min. Jiang Min was one of the many orphaned children Jiang Cheng took under his wing during the war. He already felt a well formed golden core inside of her when he took her in and she was a really talented and intellectual woman. At that time she was just thirteen years old and she really blossomed after many years under the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. 

So it was no wonder that she became his head discipline at the young age of eighteen. Jiang Cheng just knew that she would be the perfect sect heir and a perfect sect leader that his sect deserved. 

So he talked with Jing Ling and Jiang Min and he was just so glad that both of them knew why he had to make that decision. Jin Ling’s home would also always be Lotus Pier but Jiang Cheng had to think about the future of the sect. And he knew he wouldn’t marry and have kids in this life, the many failed matchmaking attempts were proof enough. But Jiang Cheng couldn’t be bothered. For him the most important thing was that his sect had a bright future. And he knew that Jiang Min would do a good job. 

When he announced his new sect heir to the other sects, (he just wrote everyone a letter so Jiang Min could also attend the first day of the Discussion Conference) most of the smaller sects were outraged and tried to tell him what a big mistake he was doing. Because not only was Jiang Min not a family member, she was also a woman. Jiang Cheng was so outraged! How dare they? How dare they say something against his sect and his decision as a sect leader?! 

Jiang Min had to calm him down and both of them wrote everyone a polite but stern letter back, telling the sect leaders basically as politely as they could that they can just fuck off and leave his sect alone. He was so thankful for the help of Jiang Min and luckily not all of the sects reacted that way. 

He knew of course that Jin Ling would be supportive, he always saw Jiang Min as a big sister figure. But he was pleasantly surprised that even Nie Huaisang and the Grandmaster Lan had shown their support. He did wonder why instead of Zewu-Jun Grandmaster Lan had answered his letter but he didn’t think too much about it. He had a festivity to plan! Because of course he wanted to celebrate Jiang Min achievement and tell his sect that the future was secured and that they would always be protected. 

When he became a sect leader, there was no time and no resources to celebrate it. But they weren’t at war anymore, they were living in a time of peace. The festivities were amazing, with too much food but everyone was having fun. Even Jin Ling and Nie Huaisang came to visit and to give their personal gratuities to Jiang Min. But the highlight of the festivities was the proposal. Because of course Jiang Min would take the opportunity then and there and just propose to her boyfriend, now fiancé Jiang Hongtu. 

Jiang Hongtu was also one of the orphaned children Jiang Cheng took in during the war. He didn’t have a formed golden core like Jiang Min did but he was an amazing cook! The first time Jiang Hongtu cooked his sister’s signature Lotus Pork Rip Soup, Jiang Cheng nearly cried. Even if the taste wasn’t exactly like his sister’s, it was still close enough to make Jiang Cheng emotional. And Jiang Hongtu just improved even more and more in the kitchen and was now the senior cook in the kitchen. 

They both even asked Jiang Cheng to officiate their wedding and Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but feel honored to be asked. The wedding would take place later that year and Jiang Cheng was even more secure with his choice. 

Jiang Cheng could see the daylight through his closed eyelids. So it already was a new day. He slowly opened his eyes and stood up to get ready for the day. He took a quick bath, got dressed in his formal sect leader robes, did his hair, took Sandu and stepped out of his room. 

Of course Jiang Min was already waiting for him. They greeted each other quickly and talked about the things that had to be done before their journey to Gusu Lan while they made their way to the piers. Jiang Cheng gave some orders here and there and Jiang Min paid attention and gave her opinion here and there, till they arrived at the pier. 

The other senior disciples that Jiang Cheng wanted to take to the Discussion Conference were already gathered there. Everyone got ready, unsheathed their swords and all of them made their way to Cloud Recesses. 

It took half a day to get there by sword. They landed on the bottom of the many stairs and made their way to the entrance at the top. At the entrance Grandmaster Lan and Hanguang-Jun were greeting the visitors. But why was Hanguang-Jun there and not Zewu-Jun? Did something happen to him? 

This was the first Discussion Conference after the incident and he saw how bad Zewu-Jun looked after everything that was revealed. But he didn’t hear anything about him stepping down from leadership and he thought that Hanguang-Jun was traveling with Wei Wuxian. But if Hanguang-Jun was here, did it mean that Wei Wuxian was also here? 

Okay calm down Jiang Cheng, everything will be okay just calm down. He tried to hide his inner turmoil and greeted both men like a sect leader would greet a sect leader. His sect members also greeted them both and after some small talk with Grandmaster Lan, a Lan junior came and accompanied them to their guest quarters. 

The first day of the Discussion Conference would start in an hour so Jiang Cheng made himself presentable again after the flight and left his quarters to search for his head discipline, or should he now say sect heir. Cloud Recesses still divided the men and the women from each other so he could only meet her in front of the discussion hall. 

On his way there he saw Jin Ling. He didn’t see his nephew for some time now, the last time was the celebration of Jiang Min. But just when he wanted to call for him, he saw another person dressed in black and red next to his nephew. 

Jin Ling was talking excitedly with Wei Wuxian, they were laughing and Wei Wuxian was even patting his head. And Jiang Cheng shouldn’t feel jealous or this anger inside of him, but he did. But he couldn’t forbid the relationship between his nephew and Wei Wuxian and he didn’t want to make a scene. So he just walked the other way even before the both of them noticed him. Why was Jin Ling talking with Wei Wuxian? Why didn’t he seek out Jiang Cheng? Didn’t he mean anything to Jin Ling anymore? 

No, he shouldn’t think about such dark things, he should concentrate on the upcoming Discussion Conference. Luckily Jiang Min was already in front of the discussion hall. They nodded to each other and both of them made their way into the hall.

The first day of the Discussion Conference was just for the sect leaders and their heirs. They would be talking about urgent and important things. The days after were for the smaller conflicts and other smaller problems that the different sects had. 

Jiang Cheng was making his way to his designated spot and sat down, Jiang Min right by his side. Slowly he saw all the other sect leaders and heirs coming into the hall. At this moment Jiang Min leaned into him and whispered into his ear.

 “Jin Ling came to me because he couldn’t find you. He wants to meet for dinner, so you and him can spend some time together. I told him that we would meet him in front of the dining hall after this meeting.” 

Jiang Cheng was surprised but happy that he could still spend some time with his nephew and just muttered his thanks. 

His attention was brought up to the front of the room, where Grandmaster Lan and Hanguang-Jun were sitting. And there was still no sight of Zewu-Jun. Was he sick? Just what happened? The people started to murmur and to gossip till Grandmaster Lan raised his hand and looked sternly at the crowd. Everyone became quiet after this - they all had him as a teacher at one point of their lives and knew to respect the old man. 

Grandmaster Lan and Hanguang-Jun stood up and addressed the crowd. 

“Before we begin with the Discussion Conference, we have an important announcement to make. As of today, Sect Leader Lan will be temporarily stepping down as the sect leader and has secluded himself. Lan Wangji and I will be handling all of the sect responsibilities instead. Please address your concerns and correspondence to us from now on.” 

You could hear a gasp through the crowd, even Jiang Cheng was in shock. But more irritating was how angry he was feeling. Even if the crowd was quiet again and Grandmaster Lan was reading the topics for today’s meeting, Jiang Cheng couldn’t concentrate on it. 

He thought about Zewu-Jun, the most wanted bachelor, the peace bringer, the all and mighty. How could he? How could he just leave everything behind and hide?! But deep down Jiang Cheng knew he wasn’t really angry at Zewu-Jun. He was angry at himself. Because deep down he was just jealous. 

Jiang Cheng hadn’t had time to grieve, he had to always be on alert and had to do everything by himself to keep everyone safe. Even after the Guanyin Temple incident he had nobody. 

But Zewu-Jun had his reputation, his family, his people - nobody thought he was guilty for the things that Lianfang-Zun did. Everyone understood that he was just as manipulated as the rest of them. And even now his family was standing beside him, helping him to grieve and to move on. Even if Jiang Cheng wasn’t such a fan of seclusion, he was just so jealous and it felt so unfair that Zewu-Jun could just flee from his responsibilities and that Jiang Cheng didn’t have this luxury and had to fight everyday. 

Jiang Cheng tried to calm his mind, tried to ignore these illogical feelings. Because it wasn’t right to feel this way. Zewu-jun was just as human as he was. Even if Jiang Cheng never thought that the perfect and all and mighty Zewu-Jun would need something like seclusion. He always saw Zewu-Jun as someone who was the peak of human perfection, somebody who couldn’t do anything wrong and was loved by everyone. A war hero who motivated the small sects to partake in the war. A war hero who helped to win the war. And somebody that was just too distant and too bright for someone like him. So that’s why they never really talked beside the sect business, just polite greetings, nothing more. 

Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but think about the time he came to study here in Cloud Recesses. After they fought against the water abyss, they stayed at an inn because it had gotten too late to make their way back to Cloud Recesses. 

Unfortunately the inn didn’t have enough rooms for all the people that were present. So some of them had to share a room with another. He thought he would just share a room with Wei Wuxian, like he did in Cloud Recesses. But then Zewu-Jun said that he wanted to share a room with him! With him of all the people! So he asked Jiang Cheng if it was okay with him. Zewu-Jun explained that he wanted to talk from sect heir to sect heir. Jiang Cheng was just too star struck and just nodded. 

So he shared a room with Zewu-Jun while Wei Wuxian shared a room with Hanguang-Jun. They all said their good nights and made their way to their rooms. On the way to their room Jiang Cheng thought about what they would be discussing. He was really excited to finally show his skills and share his opinions, especially with THE Zewu-Jun! His parents would be so proud that THE Zewu-Jun asked for his opinion especially! 

But everything happened differently than he had expected. The moment Zewu-Jun and him were in their shared room, Zewu-Jun apologized profusely and said that he wanted to help Hanguang-Jun with his friendship with Wei Wuxian and that he needed an excuse to bring them together. He even offered to sleep elsewhere if Jiang Cheng was uncomfortable sharing a room with him. 

But of course Jiang Cheng just said that it wasn’t a problem, he had to say that as a future sect heir. He had to be polite and respectful. After a short while he said that he was really tired and would just directly go to bed. Zewu-Jun just wished him good night and that was it. He was lying in his bed and he cursed himself for the feelings he felt then. He was so happy that somebody finally chose him, and best of all it was the most promising young master of their generation! And Zewu-Jun wanted to have his opinion, HIS opinion! He didn’t notice how much it meant to him to finally be heard, to be useful and show his skills! 

But it was all a farce - Zewu-Jun just wanted to help his brother. Of course it was for a different reason, of course even the all and mighty Zewu-Jun wouldn’t want to talk to him except for the polite small talk that was mandatory. He didn’t understand why he was so disappointed but he was. He couldn’t face Zewu-Jun anymore without these ugly feelings resurfacing, so he minded him at all cost. After some time Wei Wuxian got suspended and everyone else had left him alone because without Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng was even less enjoyable around other people. 

He was brought back from his thoughts by a tapping on his shoulder. Jiang Min was staring at him and leaned in to ask. 

“Is everything okay Sect Leader?”

“Yes, everything is fine, don't worry.” 

He could see in her face that she didn’t believe him but she let it go. Grandmaster Lan finally announced the ending of today's meeting and invited everyone to the dining hall, where dinner would be shortly served. The Gusu Lan rule “Don’t talk while eating” was ignored during the Discussion Conference so everybody could mingle and talk while eating. 

He was making his way to the dining hall with Jiang Min while she summarized what was told during the meeting (she of course knew that he wasn’t paying attention) and just before they arrived at the dining hall, they heard a shout. 

“JiuJiu!” 

Jin Ling came running towards him and Jiang Cheng turned around to face his nephew. 

“Running and shouting is forbidden here, you brat!” 

Jiang Cheng reprimanded his nephew. Jin Ling was pounding but just for a second before he switched to the role of a sect leader. 

“This Sect Leader greets Sect Leader Jiang and Sect Heir Min.” 

Jiang Cheng had just enough, Jin Ling knew he didn’t have to be so formal around him so he just hit his nephews head and was scowling at him. 

“Just when did you become so formal around me?! I am still your uncle first and foremost so don’t treat me like a stranger!” 

Jin Ling was just staring at him and then smiled, a big toothy smile. 

“Okay JiuJiu! Then let’s go, dinner is waiting for us!” 

Jin Ling took Jiang Cheng's arm and pulled him along into the dining hall. Jiang Cheng just saw how Jiang Min was hiding a chuckle before she followed the uncle-nephew pair. He wanted to reprimand his nephew, how could he act like this? But he couldn’t say anything because seeing his nephew so happy and carefree was enough for Jiang Cheng to play along. 

They took a seat a little more hidden from the rest of the seats so they could have some privacy. They talked about everything and nothing, Jin Ling told him of his little adventures during the many Nighthunts he was leading and Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but feel proud of his nephew. Jiang Cheng had so much fun, that even his scowling had disappeared and he had a smile on his face. But like every good thing that happened to him this happiness also came to an abrupt end. 

They were eating their dinner and nobody was saying anything anymore. But it looked like Jin Ling wanted to say something. So Jiang Cheng wanted to be patient and to just wait, but Jin Ling was still silent. Jiang Cheng's patience ran dry and he couldn’t help the next words that came out of his mouth. 

“I know you want to talk about something, brat. Just spill it out.” 

Jin Ling was staring at him like a fish out of water but then he took all his courage and began to talk. 

“First please promise me to not get angry with me.” 

Jiang Cheng began to panic. 

“Did something bad happen?” 

He interrupted his nephew. 

“Of course not, JiuJiu, just what are you thinking? I just wanted to talk about something else, please would you just listen to me?” 

Jiang Cheng relaxed and just nodded. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it but I can’t see you like this anymore! Please, JiuJiu, just talk it out with DaJiu. I can see how you wish for a different relationship with him! Why do you have to be so stubborn? DaJiu also wants to talk with you, to visit you in Lotus Pier but he is afraid that you would kick him out and get even more angry at him! Can’t you just make up? For everyone's sake? You both are the only family that I have left!” 

Jiang Cheng was too stunned to speak. He started to tremble and his heart started to beat really fast. Why were they talking about someone who let him go? Who didn’t exist anymore? He tried to collect himself and he tried to calm down. He breathed in and out. He didn’t want to lash out at his nephew. 

“A-Ling, you know we already had our talk three months ago. Everything we needed to say was said that day. There isn’t anymore to say. We talked, we apologized and that was it. You can have any kind of relationship you want with Wei Wuxian but please don’t think just because you wish for us to have a different kind of relationship, it is also what Wei Wuxian and I want”. 

“But JiuJiu!” 

Jin Ling interrupted. But Jiang Cheng just raised his hand. 

“We talked enough about it. Please Jin Ling. Just drop it” 

Jin Ling pouted and it looked like he wanted to disagree but he didn’t say anything anymore. Just before he could reassure his nephew that everything was alright and that he was fine, he heard the voice he never wanted to hear anymore. 

“Ah there is my favorite nephew!” 

Everyone on the table turned to the direction of the sound. And of course there he was - talk about the devil and he will appear. 

Jiang Cheng couldn’t do this, couldn’t face Wei Wuxian so close. He needed more time and he knew that he was being a coward but he had to get away from here. Fast. 

“I have an important matter to attend to, if you would excuse me.” 

He said to the table and stood up, walking fast to exit the dining hall. He ignored the calls from Jin Ling and just walked away. He didn’t look in which direction he was walking, he was too absorbed in his feelings. He knew he couldn’t run away from Wei Wuxian forever, but he needed more time to come in terms with everything. It was still too fresh and too little time had passed. 

Unfortunately he realized too late that he got lost because he was sure he already passed that tree he was seeing. 

“Fuck!” 

He cursed and sat down under the tree, pushing the palms of his hands against his eyes. And just at this moment it started to rain. It felt like the heavens were mocking him because he was such a coward. He was exhausted and now he was drenched, too. So he wouldn’t cry on top of it, he was miserable enough. 

He was sitting there for some time, the rain was getting even stronger and stronger and before he could even get more angry and curse at the sky he heard a loud splashing sound. A really really loud splashing sound. And he knew how it sounded because he grew up surrounded by lakes. Somebody fell into the water and from the sound of it it wasn’t voluntary. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

So he rushed to the place where the sound was coming from, he passed a little bamboo fence and he saw a clearing with a little cottage and a cold spring. 

‘The person must have fallen into the cold spring.’

Jiang Cheng thought and ran up to the cold spring, ready to rescue the unfortunate soul who fell into it. He saw a person sinking deeper and deeper into the cold spring and Jiang Cheng didn’t waste anymore time and jumped right into it, which was far deeper than he thought it was. 

He secured the person in his arms (he then noticed that the person was a man) and pulled him back to the shore. But as he wanted to check on the person and help him, he was shocked to see who the person he rescued was. Even if he looked skinnier, his skin ashier and his complexion over all sickly, everybody would recognize Zewu-Jun. 

‘Now it’s not the time to be shocked!’ 

Jiang Cheng thought to himself. He began to check Zewu-Jun's energy levels and if he was alright but he shockingly noticed two things. Not only wasn’t Zewu-Jun breathing anymore, his spiritual energy was sealed! Jiang Cheng had to work fast, so Zewu-Jun wouldn’t die! So he transformed Zidian, wrapped it around his hand, poured his own spiritual energy into the weapon and hit Zewu-Jun's chest to break the seal around his golden core and to get him to breathe again. 

And it worked! Zewu-Jun took a deep breath and coughed the rest of the water out. Jiang Cheng was just sitting there, wondering just what happened to Zewu-Jun. Did he just fall into the cold spring? 

But before he could even think about the other possibilities, Zewu-Jun turned to him with so much anger in his eyes, Jiang Cheng didn’t think it was possible for him to feel so much anger. Then suddenly Zewu-Jun had started to hit him on the chest and Jiang Cheng was even more shocked to see how weak Zewu-Jun became. 

“WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!” 

Zewu-Jun shouted in his face. 

“WHY DID YOU RESCUE ME?! I FINALLY HAD A SOLUTION FOR ALL OF MY PROBLEMS AND YOU DESTROYED IT ALL!! JUST WHY DID YOU RESCUE ME JUST WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?!” 

Zewu-Jun had a really bad breakdown right there in front of Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng didn’t know what to do. Zewu-Jun was crying and screaming at him and hitting him on his chest. This was too similar to how he reacted after Wei Wuxian rescued him. So he did the only thing that helped him at that time. 

He knocked Zewu-Jun out with a targeted hit on a pressure point on his neck. Zewu-Jun fell down and Jiang Cheng caught him in his arms. With one arm behind Zewu-Jun's back and one arm under his legs Jiang Cheng stood up and wanted to carry him back to the Hanshi (because of course this cottage had to be the Hanshi, the residence of Zewu-Jun). He noticed how light Zewu-Jun was and didn’t like it at all. Just what happened to Zewu-Jun? But he didn’t have the right to be worried, Zewu-Jun and him were acquaintances at best and they never talked outside of sect business. So he would just put him into his bed and would call Grandmaster Lan, so he could handle the rest. 

But of course the heavens hated him because just before he even could take a step, he heard more steps in the clearing . And of course it was Hanguang-Jun and Wei Wuxian. The commotion must have alerted them but why them? And how did they even hear the shouting? The Hanshi was really hidden. But then his eyes caught some talismans. 

‘Ah, that’s how they got alerted.’ 

Jiang Cheng thought. 

Hanguang-Jun was staring at his brother in Jiang Cheng's arms and then at Jiang Cheng again. Like he wanted to make sense of the situation he saw. And then his stare became murderous and it wasn’t looking all too good for Jiang Cheng. But he wasn’t ready to fight or die here so he just explained the situation before Hanguang-Jun could attack him. 

“I know this doesn’t look good for me but Zewu-Jun was trying to drown himself and I just tried to save him. He was having a breakdown so I had to knock him down before he could hurt himself. I just wanted to take him to the Hanshi so he can lay down in his bed but now that you are here you can gladly carry your brother into the Hanshi, Hanguang-Jun”. 

Jiang Cheng didn’t have the time to use flowery words and in this situation the direct approach was better than anything else. Hanguang-Jun's face switched from angry to shocked and sad and he didn’t say anything. He just walked up to Jiang Cheng to take his brother into his arms and carry him back to the Hanshi. Jiang Cheng could see in the corner of his eye how shocked Wei Wuxian was and that he didn’t move till Hanguang-Jun called for him. 

“Wei Ying.” 

Wei Wuxian flinched back from his shock. 

“I will bring a healer.” 

He quickly ran away. Jiang Cheng just wanted to get away from there, luckily it wasn’t raining anymore but he just wanted to change into dry clothes, lay in bed and try to sleep. So he just nodded to Hanguang-Jun. 

“If you would  excuse me.”

He made his way back to his rooms even before Hanguang-Jun could say anything to him. He didn't have the capacity to answer questions he didn’t know the answer to. Now that it wasn’t raining anymore he could clearly see the paths to his guest quarters. Luckily he didn’t meet anyone on his way here. He just wanted to take a hot bath, get dry and lay in his bed and he didn’t have the capacity to talk to somebody anymore. 

The incident with Zewu-Jun was too much even for him. He never thought he would see Zewu-Jun that way. He always thought that Zewu-Jun was so strong. But to see such a strong man breaking down, even Jiang Cheng was affected by it. It really shook him to the core and he couldn’t help but to tremble. Even after the bath and after he dried himself he trembled and felt so cold that he just lay on his bed and pulled the blanket over his head in hope for some warmth and some sleep.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen stood at his door, his hand on the door handle. But he still couldn’t open the door. Suddenly he had some doubts. Could he really just flee his problems? Would it really be so easy? Did he even deserve an easy exit from his guilt and his regrets? The rain got stronger and the splashing got louder and louder, till he couldn’t hear anything else anymore. 

So he pushed the door and stepped out of it into the clearing. He had to squint his eyes because it was brighter outside than in his rooms. He walked up to his cold spring and stood there on the shore. The rain was still strong and he was getting wet fast. The cold spring was still calling for him, telling him just to jump in but he stood there and couldn’t move. He was staring at the deep dark water. 

His cold spring was even deeper than the big cold spring because he wanted to build it as deep as possible so he could cultivate his core even more. And that’s why it was perfect for his plan. He didn’t have to walk far, here far away from everyone nobody would notice him and he could finally rest. 

But he still hesitated, so he just stood there and got wetter and wetter. The rain got worse and he started to tremble, he was cold and without his golden core warming him up it was even colder than usual for him. Some time had passed and he still couldn’t get himself to make the final step. Why was he hesitating? This chance wouldn’t come again and this was the perfect solution for all of his problems! He just had to take one step - one step and all of this guilt, all of his regrets and all of his problems would disappear. 

Suddenly he saw two figures in the depths of the cold spring and he couldn’t believe his eyes. Why were they here? He tried to blink away the illusion but it didn’t go away. Deep in the cold spring he could see his Da-ge and his A-Yao. Smiling and waving at him, calling him down. Lan Xichen smiled and cried happy tears for the first time since the incident. He wanted to see his brothers so much and now they were there, just one step away. 

So he took a final breath, took his final step and let himself fall into the cold spring. He didn’t struggle, his eyes fixed on his brothers, everything was finally still, he couldn’t hear anything and he just had to let the water sink him deeper and deeper and let the water drown him and his sorrows. He finally found some peace and now he just had to wait till death took him away. Finally, he would be reunited with his brothers again, finally all three of them could live together again, without all of this hate, this guilt and all of the regrets. 

After a while he couldn’t hold his breath anymore and he got some water into his lungs. And he was starting to panic and to struggle. Why was he panicking? Wasn’t this what he wanted? But even before he could do anything else, he noticed strong arms around his chest before he blacked out. 

The first thing he felt before he woke up was a sharp thunderous shock in his chest that broke the sealing of his core. He took a sharp breath and coughed the rest of the water out. He was still in shock about what happened. Wasn’t he drowning? Didn’t he finally reunite with his brothers? Wasn’t he finally free? 

But then he noticed that there was a person sitting next to him. He sharply turned around to see just who it was. And he felt shock and shame in an instant because in front of him was none other than the fearful Sect Leader Jiang, someone who was strong and would never back down no matter what pressure he experienced. Someone who would face his guilt and regrets face on and wouldn’t run away. And the next thing he felt was anger, anger that he was rescued and anger that his rescuer was none other than him. 

“WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!” 

He shouted in Sect Leader Jiang's face and started hitting him on the chest. 

“WHY DID YOU RESCUE ME?! I FINALLY HAD A SOLUTION FOR ALL OF MY PROBLEMS AND YOU DESTROYED IT ALL!! JUST WHY DID YOU RESCUE ME JUST WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?!” 

He knew he wasn’t right in his mind right now, he knew he had a breakdown but he couldn’t stop himself from hitting Sect Leader Jiang and crying and shouting at him. He was so lost he didn’t even realize that he was hit on his pressure point and then he blacked out again. 

The next time he woke up he saw the ceiling of the Hanshi. Did he just dream everything? Didn’t he try to drown himself? Didn’t any of that happen? 

But then he noticed that he was laying on his bed, he didn’t feel dirty anymore, he had new ropes and his energy levels were higher than the last days. He still felt the remains of the spiritual energy of his brother and another thunderous energy he couldn’t describe. Did his brother give him some of his spiritual energy? Why was he being a burden again? Why was he rescued? He just wanted to get up again and lay on the floor again, because especially after today he didn’t deserve the comfort of his bed. But he noticed that his brother was sitting and meditating at the end of his bed. His brother noticed that he was awake and he was already by his side. 

“Xiongzhang.” 

Wangji just said, took his hand and looked at him with his sad eyes. No, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t do this to his brother. He couldn’t burden him even more. So he tried to sit up, his brother helping him, and tried to smile so his brother didn’t think anything was wrong. He would have to come up with an explanation. 

“I’m fine Wangji, don’t worry. I just wanted to take a walk and get some fresh air but I must have slipped and fallen into the spring. I’m glad that Sect Leader Jiang came to my rescue.” 

He knew he was lying but he couldn’t stop. 

“Please send him my thanks”. 

He tried to look into Wangji's face, to reassure him that everything was fine and that Wangji didn’t have to worry. Sect Leader Jiang must have carried him into his room and then called Wangji for help. Please dear gods please tell him that Wangji didn’t hear his shouting and saw his breakdown. 

But just in this moment he knew that the gods were not on his side. Because Wangji was looking at him with hurt and anger in his eyes. 

“Xiongzhang.” 

Wangji just said and Lan Xichen just knew he wouldn’t get away with it. So he just released a sigh. 

“I’m really fine Wangji. I wasn’t in my right mind but now I am. You don’t have to worry about me.” 

He was already done with this conversation, he wanted Wangji gone and just lay on the floor again because he couldn’t even die without worrying his family. It was clear that he didn’t deserve to flee from his guilt and regrets so easily. Why was Sect Leader Jiang even here? Ah, right, the Discussion Conference was held in Cloud Recesses this time. Has it really already been three months since he went into seclusion? 

Wangji was still staring at him. It looked like he wanted to say something but he didn’t. So Lan Xichen waited till he was ready. Lan Xichen was looking at his brother’s chin, because he couldn’t look into his eyes anymore. After a while Wangji began to talk.

“From now on there will always be someone stationed in front of your doors. If you want to get out and take a walk, these people will accompany you. You can do anything you want here in the Hanshi, we have already removed all the dangerous objects.” 

Lan Xichen couldn’t believe his ears. Just what did he hear?! 

“Wangji you can’t be serious, I told you I’m fine! I don’t need-“ 

But Wangji just interrupted him - HIS brother just interrupted him! 

“I am the acting sect leader now and my word is final.” 

He could just stare at his brother and didn’t know what to say. How could he, how could he play the sect leader card?! And against his own brother?! He didn’t want to burden the sect even more and look at what happened! 

He just couldn’t look at his brother anymore, he felt too much anger and too much shame and just wanted to be left alone. He could only whisper the words he would regret later. 

“Get out.” 

But Wangji was still staring at him and didn’t move, so he did something he never did - he shouted at his brother. 

“I SAID GET OUT, I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW!” 

He saw how his words had hurt his brother but he just couldn’t be in the same room with him right now. He had to work out his feelings and try to calm his mind. He felt just like he was the worst kind of human, for worrying his family even more than he had and for being even more a burden. Wangji just stood up and looked at his brother. 

“The healer will come later to check you again. He will also bring some food. Please eat something and then rest.” 

And then he left the Hanshi and finally left Lan Xichen alone. 

Lan Xichen couldn’t hold back the sob and tears started to run down his cheeks. Just why did he do something so stupid? Why was he rescued just why was Sect Leader Jiang here?! He had the perfect plan, the perfect escape but even that didn’t go as planned. But of course the gods wouldn’t let him go so easy, he had to pay for all of his crimes. 

So he waited till the healer came to check on him and to bring him dinner, he tried to eat something but he couldn’t stomach it. So he gave up, stood up from his bed, lay on the floor instead and stared at the ceiling. He was so exhausted but sleep still didn’t find him. He heard some people talking in front of the Hanshi but couldn’t make out the words. 

He just hoped that nobody else got wind of what he tried to do. He just didn’t know how he could face the others when a word got out and everybody would start to look at him with pity and differently. He was already feeling so much shame, but he didn’t know what else he could do. It was clear that he had to take his punishment and that he couldn’t escape. So he lay there on the floor, continued to stare at the ceiling, grieved his lost brothers and cried for all the hurt he had caused.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng turned and turned in his bed but he just couldn’t sleep. So much had happened that day and his mind just couldn't turn off. After a while he just gave up, stood up and made his way to the window on his right. 

He could see the moon, it was now a full moon and he couldn’t help but stare at it. He always found the moon beautiful, especially on nights like this. After the rain had stopped, even the clouds had disappeared and he could see the moon clearly. So high on a mountain, the moon felt so much nearer, he felt like he could touch it if he just stretched out his arm. He tried to concentrate on the different spots the moon had, just to try to calm his mind and he tried to think about nothing else. He slowly breathed in and out. And it seemed like it worked! He was already feeling much calmer and better. Maybe today he could finally get some sleep. 

But just before he could walk back to his bed again, he felt an intense pain in his heart. He never felt something like this before! It felt like something tried to pull his heart out, but the energy he felt was nothing he felt before! It was so strong and it seemed to call for him. As if that wasn’t enough he also felt a powerful pull on his right pinky finger, like someone pulling on an invisible string that was tied on his pinky. Just what was happening?! Why did he feel this energy? The pull on his pinky was getting stronger and stronger and he didn’t have another choice but to follow the direction of this pull. He was afraid that otherwise he would lose his pinky finger! 

So he quickly put on a second layer, didn’t even bother to do his hair but he took Sandu with him and walked into the direction of the pull. The pull got even stronger and stronger and Jiang Cheng had to walk faster and faster to keep up. 

Finally the pulling had stopped and he found himself at the cold spring. The moon was illuminating the surface of the cold spring and there Jiang Cheng saw something unbelievable. In the middle of the cold spring, right under the moon, something was floating. It looked like a human, it had two legs, two arms and a head. But you couldn’t make out a face or see it clearly because a smoke-like energy was surrounding him. 

Jiang Cheng could recognize two eyes that were shining in a bright white light and they were directly looking at Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng was spellbound and he couldn’t move. This energy - it really felt like it was not from this world and Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but just stare at this divine beast. Was this a divine beast at all? Is that why he could bypass all the barriers of the Cloud Recesses? 

Jiang Cheng just noticed that this divine beast was holding something in between his fingers. It looked like a string, like a red string. He followed the red string and was shocked that the red string was tied to his right pinky finger! So that’s why he felt the pull! But why him, what was happening and why was a red string tied on his pinky finger? 

Just when it looked like the divine beast wanted to approach him, loud alarm bells could be heard. It looked like somebody else noticed that something was wrong and that person must have triggered the alarm! It didn’t take much time and he saw how Jin Ling, Hanguang-Jun, Wei Wuxian and some other Lan Juniors and sect leaders arrived at the cold springs. Everyone was staring at this divine beast, Jiang Cheng was sure that everyone else felt this immense energy, too. 

But before anyone could do anything, the beast pulled violently on the string and Jiang Cheng lost his footing. The beast was pulling him to itself and it even had opened his arms! But Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be defeated so fast! He unsheathed Sandu, transformed Zidian and he blocked the beast's movement just in time. But the rebound of it was too strong and soon he was slammed against a tree. He slipped down and couldn’t move anymore. 

He just heard a heartbreaking cry from Jin Ling and that brought the others back to reality. They finally began to move and to attack the divine beast. Hanguang-Jun and Wei Wuxian tried to calm the beast down with music, but it appeared that the divine beast was just swallowing the single notes. When they realized that that didn’t help, Jiang Cheng saw how Wei Wuxian tried different kinds of talismans while Hanguang-Jun tried to attack with Bichen. Jin Ling took his bow out and shot at it with his arrows, and the other sect leaders and Lan Juniors also tried to attack and defeat the beast. 

But every attack was just swallowed from the beast and it was still standing like it just didn’t get attacked at all. Just what kind of being was this thing?! Jiang Cheng tried to move, but the pain in his heart just got worse and worse and he couldn’t do anything but watch how the others tried to attack that thing. 

But everything they did was useless and the beast was looking even more angry than before. Just then Jiang Cheng felt a rapid rising of the beast's energy - the beast was clearly preparing for his final attack. 

And then everything happened too fast. Jiang Cheng felt like the time was slowing down and his heart sank. Because it was clear that the beast was targeting Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian. 

‘No, please not my only family please don’t!’ 

Jiang Cheng began to panic and tried to move despite the pain. He couldn’t lose them too! The beast had already formed a big black ball, full of its energy, and shot it in the direction of Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian. And even before he noticed it himself Jiang Cheng was already jumping and pushing spiritual energy into his legs so he could shield his last remaining family from the attack. 

With a cry of a loud “NOOOO!!” Jiang Cheng got in front of them just in time. The energy ball hit him right at his chest and he felt how the energy of the beast took over his core, his mind and his heart. The pull on his pinky finger was getting stronger and stronger again, but he couldn’t see why. The last thing he saw was the shocked faces of his nephew and his brother before he passed out and didn’t feel anything at all.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen couldn’t cry anymore. His tears ran dry and he was just feeling numb and drained. He was still lying on the floor, he just wanted to make the voices in his head stop and to think about nothing. He didn’t want to think about his brothers, about all the people he lost and the people he disappointed. So he tried to distract himself by counting the lines of the wood of his ceiling, but after a while he gave up because it didn’t help. 

Suddenly he had a strange impulse to stand up and walk to his window, he didn’t know why but he had a feeling to look out of the window. It felt like he was in a trance, walking with wobbly legs. He opened the window and he sat down on the windowsill. 

Just then he noticed how brightly the moon was shining and he couldn’t help but to be captivated by its beauty. Cloud Recesses always had beautiful moonlit nights but tonight it was especially beautiful! He didn’t know how long he was sitting there, too captivated to even move but he was just glad that the dark thoughts seemed to disappear. Maybe today he can finally rest and get some sleep? 

But just as that thought passed his mind he felt an intense pain in his heart. He never felt anything like this before! It felt like some kind of energy wanted to possess his body, but it neither was demonic energy nor was it spiritual energy. He clenched his chest with his hand, trying to breathe but no matter what he tried to do, the pain was just getting stronger and stronger. 

Then suddenly his left arm was being violently pulled and he fell out of the window and landed face first on the ground. But even before he could get up, he was pulled in one direction and he couldn’t do anything but to be pulled around. In the corner of his eye he saw how two Lan disciplines were looking at him with shock and a moment later he already heard the alarm bells. 

What was happening? Just what thing was pulling him? And how was this thing pulling him?! That’s when he noticed a red string tied on his left pinky finger. With his other hand he tried to untie it or to tear it but it was fruitless. 

So he tried his best to dodge the obstacles on his way, like trees and fences and just when he thought about how long he would get pulled around like this he found himself in the cold springs. 

He saw a human-like figure floating just right under the moon in the middle of the cold spring. He also saw that there were other people, but he couldn’t make up their faces. He just felt their stares on him but before he could even do something, the pain in his heart became unbearable. 

He saw how in front of the being was a black ball full of this unknown energy and before he even realized what was happening he was being pulled into it. And he couldn’t even do anything about it. He didn’t have Shuoyue with him, couldn’t carry it after the Guanyin Temple incident and now he was defenseless. The last thing he felt was how this energy was poured into his mind, his heart and his golden core before he passed out and didn’t feel anything at all.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng gained his consciousness and groaned. He needed a minute to remember what just happened. Then it hit him at once - the divine beast, the attack on his last family members, how he jumped in front of them and how this strange energy took over his core, his mind and his heart. 

He tried to open his eyes, wanting to see if anyone was near and if his family members were safe but what he saw was just darkness. He tried to move but noticed that he couldn’t. Just what happened to him? Did he die? Was he still sleeping and was this a dream? But something felt off, he felt like he was there, but not really. And then it hit him, he already felt like this before! He tried again to move his body and to open his eyes and he still couldn’t. He was sure now - he must have been pulled into an empathy! But how did that happen? 

The first and only time it happened to him before this was also involuntary. It was just one week after the first Siege of Burial Mounds. After the Yiling-Patriarch’s death many wanna-be demonic cultivators started to pop up, wanting to follow “their masters teachings”. 

Jiang Cheng, who lost everything to demonic cultivation, was the first and only one chasing after these cultivators. Of course he knew what the rumors said about him and demonic cultivators. But he never denied or verified them, he took advantage of these rumors and the fear they would bring to everyone. But even if he wanted to deny them, he couldn’t completely deny these rumors, because there was some truth in it. 

Especially in the first week after the Siege he was really grieving and wanted all the demonic cultivators gone. But one thing was false about the rumors. He didn’t hunt demonic cultivators down because he wanted to make sure Wei Wuxian was never returning again. Of course he knew that the demonic cultivators he captured weren’t Wei Wuxian from the beginning. He grew up with Wei Wuxian and he would recognize him immediately and everywhere. 

At that time he just wanted demonic cultivation gone, the one thing that took his brother and sister away and that made Jin Ling an orphan. So he took his grief and his anger and let them out on these wanna-be demonic cultivators. Many of them were too far gone, the resentful energy downright eating them alive. But he wasn’t sure if there were some of them who he could have saved. These deaths would follow him till the end of his time, like the many other deaths he witnessed. 

But everything changed just after a week after the Siege. Some villagers from the border of Yunmeng came to him and asked him and his sect for help. There was a strong influx of resentful energy rising from their village and many villagers got affected by it and had to flee. But they couldn’t go anywhere else, so they came asking for help, hoping that the fearsome Sandu-Shengshou would help them. 

Jiang Cheng of course took action immediately. He saw it as an outlet to let his anger and his grief out. He thought it would be a simple mission, he never needed that much time to defeat the demonic cultivators. But when he got to the scene, it didn’t play out in the way he thought it would. 

The village was literally drowning in resentful energy. Luckily he took just some senior disciplines with him, because the younger ones wouldn’t withstand so much resentful energy. Just what happened here that so much resentful energy could accumulate here in this small village? 

He tried so hard to concentrate and to not let the resentful energy possess him. His core had to work on overdrive to purify the steams he had breathed in. He just hoped that they would find the source soon. Him and his sect members went from house to house, searching for the source. 

But just before he reached the last house, he saw a ghost of a young boy that seemed to be calling him. And he didn’t know how it happened, but just when the ghost reached him, he was unwillingly pulled into empathy. Normally his core and his consciousness would be too strong to be pulled into empathy. But because his core was working on overdrive to purify the resentful energy and his mind wasn’t in his right place since the Siege, the ghost boy easily could pull him into it. And what he saw and felt was so heartbreaking and painful that it changed his worldview and his behavior towards demonic cultivators completely. 

This ghost, formally a normal boy working on the fields to help his family, had a little brother he loved so much and loving parents. They were a really happy family, where love was freely given and laughter always accompanied them. They didn’t have much, but they were happy nonetheless. 

One day, when he was working with his little brother and his father on the fields while his mother was cooking in the kitchen, some bulgars appeared in front of them. His father tried to tell them that he didn’t have anything valuable, just his family and his fields and even offered them some of their fruits and vegetables that they grew. 

But the bulgars weren’t happy and threatened his father, demanding gold and other valuables. His father tried to tell them again and again that they didn’t have anything else and even told them they could take whatever they wanted. The boy was trembling in fear but tried his best to protect his little brother, who was clenching on his robes and hiding behind him. 

Their mother, hearing the commotion, saw the bulgars, collected their most valuable items in a little box, ran outside and tried to defuse the situation. She handed the box to the bulgars, hoping that it would be enough and they would leave her and her family alone again. But the bulgars just casted one look at the box, threw the box away and became just angrier and angrier, till their leader took out a strange weapon. 

The boy could feel a strange energy from it and Jiang Cheng immediately knew that the weapon was infused with resentful energy. Just before the family could do anything their leader dashed forward and just stabbed the young boy's mother. 

Shocked, his father let out a screeching scream and tried to attack the bulgars leader, but it was in vain. The leader just shrugged his shoulders, like this situation wasn’t something important or wrong and stabbed the father, too. 

The boy couldn’t move, fear made him immobile but he tried with all his might to at least protect his little brother. He was trying to come up with a plan so his little brother could flee. But the only thing he could think about was why was nobody helping them, where was everyone and why did his parents have to die? He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn’t notice that the leader was talking to him. 

The leader, enraged because he was being ignored, dashed forward to the boy, ready to attack him. But just before he could even react or dodge or flee, his little brother came from this hiding spot behind him and jumped between him and the leader. The boy just saw how his brother got brutally stabbed, his blood spattering all over his clothes. The bulgars were now looking at the boy, mocking and laughing at him, but the boy couldn’t hear them. He just heard a white noise in his ears, still processing what just happened. 

Then suddenly everything happened at once. The grief, the anger, the pain, the heartache, the tears - Jiang Cheng felt all of them and it became nearly too much even for him. But what was worse was that these emotions attached the resentful energy from the weapon and it took over the body of the young boy. Jiang Cheng never felt something like this before, there was constant screaming, the lost souls talking all over at once and he could feel how the energy slowly consumed his mind. 

The boy let it all out in one scream, killing the bulgars instantly and cursing the village for not helping him and his family. But without a golden core and without proper training the boy became unstable and manic really fast and the resentful energy nearly tore the boy apart.  

What rescued him, or to be more specific what rescued his soul in the last moment was that his body was too weak to withstand this constant flow of resentful energy. His body collapsed even before the resentful energy could reach his soul, leaving his soul stranded here in the village and the resentful energy feasting on the remains of the boy's body. Jiang Cheng nearly lost himself in this immense pain. It felt like his core was being destroyed over and over again, his mind going crazy and his feelings all over the place. He really thought he would go insane here and then and his soul would be lost forever. 

Luckily he was brought back to reality quickly enough. One of his sect members was holding his charity bell up his ear. He felt his soul returning to his body, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He needed some moment to calm himself down and even if the pain became lesser and lesser, these memories would haunt him till the rest of his life. 

Normally he would just kill and dispose the source of the resentful energy, but this time he couldn’t do it. So he needed to find another way and he knew instantly what to do. He would purify the unfortunate soul instead of destroying it. And even though he didn't purify as often, he knew what kind of talismans and arrays were necessary and he knew what to do. 

So he went to the home of the two brothers, found the family dead on the porch of their house, purified the infested body of the older brother and held a proper funeral for the small family. He could see the ghost of the young boy, crying silently and thanking him profoundly before disappearing into the air. 

After everything was done the village was free from resentful energy again and the villagers could move to their homes again. Jiang Cheng gave his last commands to his disciplines, making sure that everyone was safe before returning home. 

And this day was the first and only time Jiang Cheng allowed himself to grieve and to cry. So he took Chenqing out, clutched it tightly on his chest and cried himself to sleep. Was this pain the pain Wei Wuxian felt constantly? Was that why he was behaving the way he behaved? He couldn’t help himself to ask these questions without ever finding an answer. 

From then on he changed his outlook on demonic cultivators. He still chased them and took all the missions including resentful energy or demonic cultivation. But instead of torturing them he tried to help them. 

Some of them could be rescued and after purifying them Jiang Cheng gave them the choice to be welcomed into his sect or to be let go and given a little bit of money to use for their new beginning. But all of them had to swear to give demonic cultivation up for good or it would have bad consequences. 

Many of the former demonic cultivators surprisingly chose to be welcomed into the sect and after the long purification period they were trained and treated like any other discipline. Unfortunately there were some demonic cultivators who were too far gone and a rescue wasn’t possible anymore. So Jiang Cheng tried his best to purify their bodies, hoping at least their souls could be saved and held for each of them a proper funeral. 

So he knew what empathy felt like and he was sure that this was empathy, too. But just what ghost pulled him into empathy and how did that happen? Before he could even think any further, he started to feel a growing headache. 

Suddenly his head flooded with many pictures and he instantly knew where he was but most importantly who he was. But what he just saw couldn’t be true, it was impossible! How could anything he saw through the pictures even be true? It didn’t make any sense! 

But this ghost, or should he rather say this person was still not awake and he couldn’t verify any of the information he just got. So he tried to concentrate on his other senses. He heard some sizzling and rummaging at some distance to himself, felt the soft pillow and bed he was probably lying on and the air smelt like fresh lotus and something else he couldn’t identify. This person was calm as clam and they were still silently breathing. He didn’t sense anything else so he tried to make sense of the information he just got. 

According to information this person was Yu-Jiang Cheng. And this person was looking exactly like him. The only difference was the clothes this person wore and the age of this person. 

This person, or more precisely this kid, was a ten year old boy who lives with his parents, Yu-Jiang Ziyuan and Yu-Jiang Fengmian, his sister, Yu-Jiang Yanli and his three dogs, Jasmine, Princess and Little Love. And the strange thing was, these people looked like his parents and his sister! But what was even stranger was that there was another boy, looking exactly like Wei Wuxian. But this Wei Wuxian wasn’t his adoptive brother, he was his cousin! And even this Wei Wuxians parents were alive because this boy had an Aunt and Uncle Wei! 

But the most unbelievable part of this world this boy lived in was that cultivation or sects or golden cores or spiritual and resentful energies didn’t exist! This version of his father was always home being a “Stay-At-Home-Dad” and this version of his mother was the “Main Provider” (whatever these meant). But not only that, these versions of his mother and his father were clearly deeply in love and they showed their love to their children, even to Yu-Jiang Cheng as well! 

So how could any of this be true? How could there be a world where his parents would love him unconditionally? He always loved his parents, grieved his parents to this day but years and years of self reflection and raising a small child himself he knew that his parents weren’t good parents. His mother’s overbearing and demanding personality and his father’s absentminded indifference to everything he said and done and favoritism to Wei Wuxian could only lead to jealousy and anger inside Jiang Cheng. 

And the sad thing was, even with the favoritism Wei Wuxian still suffered. Because his father never defended him against his mother’s harsh punishments, always had a blind eye against all the “negativities” and always ignored his wife, so all of his children had to suffer in silence. 

That’s why even if Jiang Cheng felt jealous and angry and inferior, he never could hate Wei Wuxian. And Wei Wuxian showed him so much love and loyalty and trust - Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but to give his love and loyalty and trust back. Well, until Wei Wuxian chose other people over him and left him alone. But even if he wanted to deny it, his love for Wei Wuxian never stopped like his love for Jiang Yanli never stopped. 

Just in this moment he heard the door to the room open and close again and felt a presence beside him. His bed dipped next to him and a voice whispered in his ear. 

“A-Cheng, my little grape, I know it’s the weekend but you have to get up. We wanted to go to the park, remember? And your dear sister is waiting for you.” 

He felt a hand patting lightly his head and this body was stirring but still not waking up. Even if this body was calm as clam, Jiang Cheng felt like his heart would leap out of his chest and he felt like crying. This voice, he tried so hard to forget this voice, this voice which tried to tell him all about his failures in his nightmares and how he failed him so much. 

Even if he loved his father his insecurities were just too deep. But now this voice was speaking to him with so much love and care - he didn’t know what to do. He heard a sigh beside him and felt how this version of his father was standing up. 

“I guess I don’t have another choice.” 

His father murmured. Jiang Cheng heard the door open again. 

“Princess, Little Love, Jasmin! Please wake A-Cheng up!” 

He heard some paws waddle against the floor and suddenly his bed was full with dogs. A-Cheng woke up with licks on his face and giggles. Jiang Cheng could finally see his surroundings and the first thing he saw was the three dogs, waiting to be petted. And he couldn’t believe it because these three dogs looked exactly like the dogs he had as a child. 

A-Cheng moved his hand to pet and cuddle the three dogs while still giggling and laughing. Jiang Cheng just noticed that A-Cheng's father was watching him with so much adoration in his eyes. 

“All woken up now my little grape?”

The dogs made their way back again to where they'd come from and A-Cheng's father laughed and sat beside A-Cheng. A-Cheng was rubbing his eyes and did a little stretch, before he turned to his father. 

And Jiang Cheng couldn’t believe his eyes. A-Cheng was looking at his father and this person really looked like Jiang Fengmian! But he was a little younger than he remembered. His hair was a lot shorter now, but still full and no white hair to be seen. His hair was pulled in a low ponytail and some strains of hair were falling into his face. Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but stare. His father. This person was really his father. But how? How could any of this be possible?! 

A-Cheng smiled at his father and downright jumped on him, crashing his father into a tight hug. 

“A-Die! Thank you for waking me up, I can’t wait to go to the park with Jasmin, Little Love, Princess, JieJie and you!”

Jiang Cheng felt how his father was hugging A-Cheng back, felt how his head was patted and how his father kissed his forehead. 

“A-Li and I made some breakfast and Uncle and Aunt Wei wrote to me, they want to call us! So wash up your face, brush your teeth and come downstairs for breakfast.”

 “Of course!” 

A-Cheng excitedly exclaimed and jumped out of the bed. He ran to his adjoining bathroom, washed his face and brushed his teeth, before he made his way downstairs to the kitchen. 

Jiang Cheng couldn’t believe it. This, all of this had to be a dream! He never felt this kind of love from his father. And he was going to see his sister too! When A-Cheng made his way to the bathroom, Jiang Cheng still didn’t want to believe all of this. But then he caught sight of this “A-Cheng” in the bathroom mirror and it was really his younger self staring back at him. He even had the long hair he had as a child, but A-Cheng didn’t put it in his usual braids and bun, he just let his hair down. 

When A-Cheng made his way downstairs to the kitchen, Jiang Cheng thought his whole world would come to a stillstand. There she was, on a little stool, leaning at the kitchen counter and preparing breakfast from what Jiang Cheng could see. She was a lot younger than he remembered, but their age difference had to be the same. And she was there, in all of her glory, smiling warmly at him when she noticed him. His sister, his dear sister he missed so much and his dear sister who climbed down the little stool and came over to him. 

Suddenly he was enveloped into a tight hug and Jiang Cheng would definitely cry if he could. This “A-Li” smelt exactly like his sister, this fragrance and this warmth he missed so much. And now he was feeling all of it again! But all of this felt like a curse hidden as a blessing. Because even if he sensed everything that A-Cheng sensed, he couldn’t control this body and it was like he was a mere viewer who couldn’t do anything but watch. He couldn’t hug his sister back on his own account, couldn’t tell her how much he missed her. And this person, every person here - even if they all looked like his family, they never would be his family. 

Was this his punishment for all the sins he had? Did perhaps the divine beast really kill him and now he had to live this dream like nightmare? If it was, Jiang Cheng would take everything that was given to him. Even if it was painful, even if these people weren’t his real family and even if his soul hurt so much, he would enjoy every given moment with his family - no matter what. So all he could do was lean back and take everything in as it is. 

“A-Cheng, my dear didi, I made breakfast for us! Come, sit!”

 A-Li took A-Cheng's hand and pulled him to the dining table, pushing him onto a chair. His father was already sitting there and watching his kids with so much love in his eyes before he took something that looked like paper (a newspaper his mind supplied him) and began to read it. Then his sister served them breakfast, from the look of it it was some eggs, something that looked like a thin cake with a brown sauce and some cross meat. 

“Ah! My favorite! Thank you so much JieJie! I love you!!” 

A-Cheng exclaimed and ate his breakfast with much gusto. A-Li took a seat beside him and also ate the breakfast she made. After everyone was done eating, his father gestured to him and his sister to sit on his lap. 

“Aunt and Uncle Wei and A-Ying are calling us.” 

A-Cheng and A-Li did as they were told and Jiang Cheng saw how his father had a rectangular thing in his hand. A smartphone, his mind helpfully supplied. On it he could see a picture of Wei Wuxian and two grown ups, probably his parents and two circles, one in green and one in red. 

His father touched the green button and Jiang Cheng could now see the faces of Wei Wuxian and his parents. And the interesting thing was that they were really moving around in that little smartphone thing! 

‘So that’s what a video call is.’ 

Jiang Cheng thought to himself. 

“Uncle Jiang! Uncle Jiang! Can you see us?” 

Wei Wuxian exclaimed into the phone and A-Cheng just giggled and heard his father laugh. 

“Yes, yes we can see you.” 

It was strange, Jiang Cheng could feel that A-Cheng didn’t feel any hate or jealousy towards Wei Wuxian but he also didn’t feel the kind of love he felt for Wei Wuxian. Weren’t these versions of Wei Wuxian and him not that close? Is that why A-Cheng didn’t feel any strong emotions towards Wei Wuxian? Jiang Cheng felt fondness inside A-Cheng for this Wei Wuxian, but it wasn’t nearly as strong as he had thought. It was strange - he always thought that he would have strong emotions towards Wei Wuxian but feeling this towards him - he didn’t know if he liked it or not. 

Through the information Jiang Cheng gathered and received he knew that Wei Wuxian's parents were doctors and they worked for the organization “Doctors without Borders” and took Wei Wuxian on their travels along. They were now in Africa and were helping the small villages, which didn’t have the medical resources. Of course Wei Wuxian’s family would do something like this, Wei Wuxian’s self sacrificing tendencies were proof enough. Like father, like son. 

“The reason we have called you is because we wanted to share great news with you!” 

Aunt Wei began the conversation. 

“I wish I could tell you guys that in person, but we will be longer away this time and I don’t know if I can travel for some time.” 

Uncle Wei shuffled closer to Aunt Wei and Wei Wuxian was bouncing up and down in front of the camera. 

“I’m pregnant!” 

Everyone was cheering and Wei Wuxian was shouting, while jumping up and down. 

“I’m going to be a Gege for real!”

But Jiang Cheng felt strange. Even if his mother never wanted it, even if he couldn’t say it out loud, Wei Wuxian was always his Gege. How often he wished just to call Wei Wuxian that, how often he worshiped and looked up at him. And now, in this strange world where everything was different, even Wei Wuxian and him had a different kind of relationship. But wasn’t this what he wanted? To be free from this hate and love and guilt towards Wei Wuxian? Why did he feel so strange? 

A-Cheng was still listening to the conversation when there was a movement in the little display and Jiang Cheng saw a little girl and a little boy with their parents. And he couldn’t believe his eyes, because these kids were none other than Wen Qing and Wen Ning. Their parents looked really nice and friendly and were smiling fondly at their children as both of them made their way to Wei Wuxian. 

“Ying-Gege!” 

Wen Ning came running at Wei Wuxian and was smiling with all his might. Jiang Cheng never heard Wen Ning shout like that and he was shocked. And Wen Ning looked really happy and healthy. 

“Ning-Didi! Come here, come here! Let me introduce you to my Uncle and my cousins! Uncle Jiang, A-Li, A-Cheng, this is my bestest friend in the world, Wen Ning!” 

Just before any of them could say anything, another voice could be heard. 

“Wei Ying.” 

Was that Hanguang-Jun? It really was! A younger Hanguang-Jun made his way to Wei Wuxian and in the background Jiang Cheng could see Lan Qiren and - wait a minute is that Sisi?! And they looked very much in love! Okay, Jiang Cheng was sure now he must have lost it. Every new information seemed even more absurd. 

“Ah, my dear A-Zhan, don’t be jealous! Ning-Didi is my bestest friend for life and you are my partner for life! You are the only one I want to marry!” 

“Mhn.” 

Was the only thing little Hanguang-Jun said while he took Wei Wuxian hand in his. You could see how his ears were reddening. Jiang Cheng heard nearly every adult person splutter and cough and Wei Wuxian's parents were full on laughing.

“But first you have to finish school and find an awesome job okay?” 

Aunt Wei was laughing at his son’s shenanigans. Wei Wuxian was nodding like crazy and smiling at Hanguang-Jun. Lan Qiren looked like he would qi-deviate on the spot if he could but Sisi was reassuring him and laughing. 

“Anyway I think some introductions are in order. Fengmian, A-Li, A-Cheng these are Mister and Misses Wen. They are also doctors working here. And Mister and Misses Lan are the head of this organization. As you can see our children got really close and that’s why we all know each other!” 

Uncle Wei started the introduction. One by one everyone told something about himself and Jiang Cheng learned that Mister and Misses Wen were already working for this organization for 10 years! The siblings Wen Qing and Wen Ning were always on the road with their parents and they met Wei Wuxian at school there. 

Mister and Misses Lan were overseeing the work in Africa and making sure that everything would run smoothly. Hanguang-Jun was also Lan Qiren's nephew in this world. The reason why he was with his uncle and not with his parents was that some kids were really nasty towards Hanguang-Jun. His parents didn’t want to see their son so unhappy and so they decided to give Hanguang-Jun an opportunity to see different cultures and people and a chance to live happily. And Hanguang-Jun seemed really happy to be there with his uncle and aunt and Wei Wuxian. He also met Wei Wuxian at school and they’ve been inseparable since then. 

‘So even in this strange world these two found each other huh?’ 

Jiang Cheng could just roll his eyes. 

“Ah! I have another thing I wanted to tell you!”

Aunt Wei said after the introductions. 

“Little A-Zhans parents and his Gege are moving next to you today. Maybe you can already see the moving truck. Please welcome them to our neighborhood and send out our greetings!” 

“Of course, of course! A-Li, A-Cheng and I wanted to go to the park anyway. We can make a little trip to our neighbors and say hi to them.” 

A-Cheng's father answered. 

After some more conversation everyone said their goodbyes and A-Cheng's father told his children to get ready for the park. Together they cleaned up the table and the kitchen, quickly fed the dogs and A-Li called A-Cheng to her room. 

“Let me do your hair so it doesn’t get in the way while playing.” 

His sister said to him and Jiang Cheng would’ve cried tears of joy if he could. It had been so long since the last time his sister did his hair. And now he had a chance to experience it again! A-Li took A-Cheng's hand and made him sit on a chair in front of a table with a mirror. 

“How would you like your hair today, A-Cheng?” 

“Like the mighty warriors from “The Untamed!” I want to look like the sect leader of Yunmeng!” 

“The Untamed” was a TV show, similar to the world he came from, his mind supplied him. So his world was a work of fiction in this world? 

Jiang Cheng saw how his sister giggled and began to do his hair. How he missed this, the brushing and pulling of his hair, the soft touches of his sister and just her company. And then he felt the familiar hairstyle even before A-Cheng opened his eyes again. His hair was in his usual bun with two braids and his bangs falling free into his face. So even in this world A-Cheng preferred this kind of hairstyle. It was comforting to have something to remind him of his home. 

A-Cheng thanked his sister and hugged her tight. He jumped down from the chair and sat on his sister’s bed. A-Li was now doing her hair, two little buns on the left and right side of her head and the rest of the hair was falling free on her back. She was really quick and both of them were ready. 

They made their way downstairs again, where their father was already waiting for them. 

“Before we go to the park together, let’s greet our neighbors first. Princess, Little Love and Jasmin have to wait here a bit, is that okay for you A-Cheng? If you prefer you can wait for us with the dogs and we pick you up when we go to the park.”

His father crouched down to him and smiled at him. A-Cheng immediately answered. 

“I want to go with you both! And meet the new neighbors!” 

His father chucked, nodded and patted him on the head. They put on their jackets and their shoes and his father took his and his sisters hands. Outside Jiang Cheng could see different kind of machines that moved. His mind supplied the word “car” and that these machines were used for transportation. The little family made their way to the left side where the new neighbors were moving in. In front of the house was a really big car and some workers were carrying boxes and different kind of furniture into the house. The door to the house was open and there was constantly an influx of people walking in and out. A-Cheng's father knocked on the door frame. 

“Hello? We are your new neighbors and wanted to say hi! Is anyone here?” 

Jiang Cheng heard some rustling and a second later a really beautiful lady, who looked a lot like Hanguang-Jun, with warm golden eyes and a bright smile was standing in front of them. 

“Oh, you must be the Yu-Jiangs! A-Sanren told me so much about you! I’m Lan Fanqia but you can just call me Fanqia. You must be Yu-Jiang Fengmian!” 

Fanqia smiled. 

“Nice to meet you. Yes, that’s me! You can just call me Fengmian. These are my kids, Yanli and Cheng. My sister told me that you would be moving here today so I wanted to welcome you and offer my help. Can I help you with anything? Do you need anything?” 

A-Cheng's father asked. Just in this moment someone called for Fanqia and another person, this time a beautiful man with warm darker golden brown eyes and a sweet smile, who looked a lot like Zewu-Jun, came to view. 

“There you are! I was looking for you!” 

This man kissed Fanqia on the cheek and realized then that they were not alone. 

“Oh, excuse me, where are my manners? I’m Lan Qingtao but you can call me Qingtao. Are you the Yu-Jiang family?” 

Qingtao smiled warmly at them. After confirming and introducing them again, A-Cheng's father offered his help again. 

“Oh yes, thank you so much! We don’t need any help with the moving itself, we already have too many people and we are nearly finished. But our eldest son doesn’t have anything to do. Would it be too much trouble if you could take him to the park with you?” 

Qingtao asked. 

“Of course, if your eldest is comfortable with us and wants to spend some time with us we would gladly take him to the park, too. Ah, before I forget, is your oldest afraid of dogs?”

Fengmian answered. Qingtao denied it and with a little “I’ll be right back” he went back into the house and came back with a little boy a while later. And here he was - Zewu-Jun in all his younger glory. The little Zewu-Jun introduced himself as Huan and gave everyone a little handshake. 

When he shook A-Cheng’s hand and looked deep into his eyes, Jiang Cheng could see Zewu-Jun clearly. It was strange to see him in his younger form, but he still had his dark golden brown eyes, his long hair tied up in a half up half down hair style but this version didn’t see the betrayal of his brothers. He didn’t look sick and pale like the last time Jiang Cheng saw him. He looked healthy and happy. 

Jiang Cheng really hoped that at least this Zewu-Jun wouldn’t experience all the bad things that happened to him in his world. A-Cheng was still staring at this Zewu-Jun and Jiang Cheng could see that this Zewu-Jun was getting redder and redder. Was this Zewu-Jun getting sick? Even more strange was that A-Cheng’s heart was beating really fast and his face felt really warm. Was this A-Cheng also getting sick or something? 

He heard a cough and A-Cheng jumped  and finally looked away from Zewu-Jun. 

“I’m Cheng, would you like to go to the park with my family and my dogs?” 

Why did A-Cheng sound so shy and quiet? Why couldn’t he look at Zewu-Jun? What was wrong with him? When A-Cheng took in his surroundings, Jiang Cheng could see that everyone was wearing a smile or even a smirk and everyone was looking at both of them. Just what was happening? 

“I would love to.” 

A small voice came from Zewu-Jun. Jiang Cheng never heard Zewu-Jun speak that way. He was always confident and so sure about everything! He always talked to Jiang Cheng with respectful distance, never this way! Was he missing something? Was there something on his face or something? Jiang Cheng was really confused. 

After some more pleasantries with Huan’s family A-Cheng, his family and Huan made their way to A-Cheng’s home. They picked up the dogs and Jiang Cheng had to laugh because he never saw Zewu-Jun so awestruck and eager to pet some dogs.

 “These are Princess, Jasmine and Little Love. Would you like to pet them?” 

Huan nodded excitedly and A-Cheng’s smile grew wider. 

“Okay then do as I do. First crouch down and hold your hand in front of you. Let the dogs come to you and let them smell your hand. Be quiet and still.” 

The dogs quickly waddled to them and one after one was stiffing Huan’s hand. And one after one wanted to be cuddled by Huan. Huan giggled happily when the dogs jumped at him, wanting to be petted and that giggle caused a fuzzy feeling inside Jiang Cheng. Seeing this Zewu-Jun so carefree and cheerful was special and Jiang Cheng really hoped that at least this Zewu-Jun would live happily. Maybe in this world he would find a special someone like his ancestors before him did. 

Jiang Cheng really didn’t know where these feelings came from but something changed in him the moment he saw this Zewu-Jun. He didn’t know why but he had this strong wish to protect Zewu-Jun from all the bad things of the world. After the petting session, A-Cheng even gave Little Love’s leash to Huan, while he took Princess’ and Jasmine’s leash. His father took a big basket with him while his sister took some toys and a big backpack and together they walked to the park.

The park was filled with many families and other dogs. A-Cheng found a nice spot below a big tree and his father and sister began to unpack the basket. A big picnic blanket was spread and A-Li gave some tennis balls and a frisbee to A-Cheng and A-Huan.

 “Come, let’s play with Jasmine, Princess and Little Love!”

 A-Cheng exclaimed and took Huan’s hand while running away a little further so there was enough room. They played catch, ran with the dogs and threw the frisbee so the dogs could catch it. 

When was the last time Jiang Cheng just let go of everything and had just fun? Thinking back to his life there was always his duty on the back of his mind. From the moment he was born till now he always had something to do and he always had something to be. First Sect Heir, then Sect Leader and A-Ling’s guardian. He never could put himself first, his sect, A-Ling and his family always seemed more important. 

But now seeing the carefree way A-Cheng played with his dogs and Huan while his father and sister were watching them (A-Li was even drawing and his father was looking at him with so much love!) Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but to feel happy. But of course Jiang Cheng’s happiness wouldn’t last long.  

“Well, well, well, who do we have here? Isn’t it the little mistress?” 

Jiang Cheng heard a mocking voice and Jiang Cheng could instantly feel how tense A-Cheng got and how his heart was beating really fast. 

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Don’t you dare to ignore me!” 

Jiang Cheng heard the voice again but because A-Cheng wasn’t looking back he couldn’t see who it was. A-Cheng breathed in and out and tried to calm down. He looked at Huan, who was looking at him with worry.

 “Let’s go Huang-Ge." 

Huan just nodded and took A-Cheng’s hand but before they could walk away they were surrounded by some kids. Jiang Cheng recognized some Wen Soldiers he killed in the war and of course Wen Chao. Who else could be a little shit but him? Jiang Cheng felt A-Cheng’s anger rising and A-Cheng clenched his hands. Jiang Cheng could see that A-Cheng was holding himself back even if he wanted to hit these kids. 

Just then Jiang Cheng noticed that Huan was caressing the back of his hand with his thumb and he felt how A-Cheng calmed down a little. A-Cheng straightened up, looked at Wen Chao with indifference while still being silent. Jiang Cheng was impressed. He wouldn’t be this calm, he was sure he would already start a fight but maybe this method was more effective. Jiang Cheng could see that Wen Chao became angrier and angrier till his eyes dropped to the hands of A-Cheng and Huan. Suddenly his face looked mocking and disgusted. He had a menacing smile on his face. 

“Oh my god you both are really gay! You are really disgusting! But it’s no surprise, with the kind of man your dad is. Are you really sure you do not have two mums instead? I mean your dad is already doing women's work, it’s no wonder you turned out that way!” 

Jiang Cheng was shocked! How old were they, ten? How could a child say something like that!

 “SHUT UP!” 

A-Cheng shouted and if Huan wasn’t holding him back Jiang Cheng was sure he would have jumped at Wen Chao. But before things could escalate even further Jiang Cheng heard a voice. 

“Is everything okay here?” 

A-Cheng turned around and he was shocked. There he was, standing right in front of him - Lianfang-Zun in all his younger glory. He was maybe eleven or twelve years old but he kind of looked a little bit different. He wasn’t so thin anymore and already had some muscle. But he still had his pretty androgynous face with his authoritarian dimpled smile. 

Jiang Cheng noticed some movement behind Lianfang-Zun and his eyes widened. Because behind Lianfang-Zun was none other than Jin Zixuan and he resembled A-Ling so much. At that moment he remembered a crucial piece of information. In this world, Lianfang-Zun and Jin Zixuan were full blood brothers and were the sons of this town's mayor. But the real kicker was that the mayor wasn’t Jin Guangshan, it was a man named Jin Guangyao! 

Jiang Cheng didn’t know anyone with the same name as Lianfang-Zun and if this person was the father of Lianfang-Zun, or should he say Jin Ziyao and Jin Zixuan, where was Jin Guangshan? 

Wen Chao turned white as a sheet when he saw this version of Lianfang-Zun and even the kids that surrounded him quickly got away. 

“E-e-everything is okay young Master Jin, I was just leaving!” 

Wen Chao quickly ran away and Liafang-Zun, or should Jiang Cheng say Jin Ziyao, just shook his head. He then turned to A-Cheng and smiled warmly at him. 

“I’m so sorry for what they said. Please don’t take what they said seriously, A-Cheng. I’m sure he is just jealous because his parents are always away.” 

Why was Jin Ziyao so nice to him? Even Jin Zixuan was looking at him with worry in his eyes. Were their families close in this world? Ah yes, he remembered again. The Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang of this world were close friends with A-Cheng. They all grew up together and Jin Ziyao and Nie Mingjue were some kind of brother figures for A-Cheng. Jiang Cheng felt how A-Cheng was holding back his tears and had a lump in his throat. 

Just in this moment Jiang Cheng heard some steps and some barking and in the next moment he was wrapped up into a hug. It was his father who was now patting his back in smoothing motions. His dogs must have ran up to his father while everything happened. 

“I’m so sorry A-Cheng, I noticed too late what was happening. I’m here now, you don’t have to hold back anymore.” 

This sentence was just like some kind of button because in the next moment tears streamed down A-Cheng’s face and he buried his face deeper into his father’s chest. But he still didn’t let go of Huan’s hand and he still felt the caressing on the back of his hand from Huan’s thumb. 

Jiang Cheng heard how his sister thanked Jin Ziyao and Jin Zixuan and how she invited them for a little snack. His father was talking with Huan, making sure he was alright and before Jiang Cheng noticed his father also wrapped Huan into the hug. The three of them were hugging for some time, giving each other comfort before separating and making their way to his sister, Jin Ziyao and Jin Zixuan while Jasmine, Little Love and Princess were waddling with them. His father was holding his and Huan’s hand while walking and Jiang Cheng felt so protected and loved. 

Jiang Cheng didn’t know what to do with all these feelings. He always had to be strong, never was he allowed to show any weakness. Always afraid that his father would take his birthright away because Wei Wuxian was better in everything. Always afraid to show any weakness because his mother would otherwise scold him again. So he always did the first thing he could do. He became angry again and hid all his emotions behind his scowl. Was this person the person he would have become when he had a different upbringing? Jiang Cheng never even thought about these kinds of “What-Ifs” and even if so much had happened he always thought he did the best he could do. But now seeing it in front of him, receiving so much love, Jiang Cheng felt a longing he never felt before. In this world he had loyal friends - friends!-, a loving family and his beloved dogs. But still, even if everything he saw was great, something was still missing. 

A-Cheng sat down next to Huan on the blanket and his sister started to distribute some sandwiches. Jiang Cheng could see how shy Zixuan got while trying to talk to his sister and Jiang Cheng just rolled his eyes. He could clearly see that Zixuan liked his sister and he was glad that Zixuan in this world wasn’t that much of an idiot like he was in his world. So even these two found each other here. Maybe he would also meet Jing Ling again, he missed his nephew so much. Ziyao was in a conversation with his father, talking about what happened and his father was thanking Ziyao for helping his son. 

“You called me Huan-Ge.” 

Huan smirked while nudging A-Cheng with his shoulder. Jiang Cheng felt how A-Cheng got mortified and he was sure he was red as a tomato. 

“And? If you don’t like it just say it!” 

A-Cheng pouted. Huan just laughed. 

“Of course I don’t mind, to be honest I would love it if you would call me Huan-Ge. Can I call you Cheng-Didi in turn?” 

A-Cheng just nodded, too embarrassed to say anything else. The rest of the day was full of more conversations, more food and more plays. Even his father and his sister began to play with everyone and the time just flew by. But all good things had to come to an end. It got late, Zixuan and Ziyao said their goodbyes while promising to meet again and his family and Huan made their way home. 

They first brought Huan home, making sure he got home safe. Huan hugged A-Cheng really tight while their parents made a promise to have brunch together tomorrow. They said their goodbyes and made their way to their own home. 

At home someone special was already waiting for them. And Jiang Cheng thought his heart would stop beating. At the entrance was his mother, -his mother!-, standing and looking as fierce as he remembered. But then something changed in her expression, it became softer. 

“Ah, my darling you’re back! How was your day?” 

His father walked over to his mother and gave her a kiss. A KISS! They never did something like this! And Jiang Cheng could see how his mother melted and she had a little smile on her face. She then looked at her children and hugged them. 

“Work was alright. There are still some issues but nothing I can’t handle. How was your day? Did you all have fun?” 

His mother asked with a smile. Before anyone could say anything, A-Cheng began to talk excitedly. 

“Yes! We met our new neighbors, I even made a new friend, we went to the park and we had a lot of fun!” 

His mother laughed. 

“New neighbors?” 

She asked A-Cheng's father, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ah, yes. A-Sanren called us. They made an acquaintance with the Wen Family and the Lan family abroad. The Lan family moved next to us and we got to meet them and their son.” 

His father smiled at his mother. 

“The Lan family? Do you meet Lan Qingtao and Lan Fanqia by any chance?” 

His mother said thoughtfully. The eyes of his father widened a little. 

“Yes, these were their names. How do you know them my dear?” 

“Life is really strange sometimes.” 

His mother smiled. 

“They were old school friends of mine. We were really close and even then they both were inseparable. Everybody knew that they would marry and we all were right! Unfortunately they had to move away and we lost contact so I’m pleasantly surprised and happy to have them so close again.” 

His father was smiling lovingly at his mother. 

“Why don’t you tell us more while eating dinner? And we can tell you more about our day!” 

His mother nodded. 

“Okay kids, get ready for dinner!” 

Everyone got ready for dinner and was now sitting at the dining table. 

The rest of the evening was filled with the stories of A-Cheng's mother and her childhood with the Lan Pair, with laughter and so much happiness that Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but just stare at the scene. The food was the tastiest he ever ate and Jiang Cheng was so happy and content. 

But still, there was a gaping hole in his chest, like something important was missing. And deep down he knew what it was or more importantly who it was. He never thought he would miss Wei Wuxian, but he did. They both were inseparable as kids and now in a world where everything was different and where he should be happy, he couldn’t enjoy his happiness fully. He really hoped that Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian wouldn’t grieve for him for too long. He didn’t deserve it. 

The dinner came to an end and A-Cheng's parents helped their kids to get ready for bed. His parents gave him a good night kiss and A-Cheng slept happily and without any nightmares. 

The next morning greeted A-Cheng with a delicious smell. He slowly got up and got ready and made his way downstairs again. A-Li and his parents were already in the kitchen, preparing brunch.

 “Good morning! I want to help, too!” 

A-Cheng exclaimed. Everybody turned around and smiled at him and A-Li came over and hugged him tight. 

“Of course my little grape, can you help me with the cutlery?” 

His mother asked him. A-Cheng nodded excitedly and started to set the table with his mother. Then he helped to carry all the different kinds of foods and drinks to the table. And in no time they were ready to receive the guests. The doorbell rang and A-Cheng and his mother made their way to open it. The moment the door opened you could see the surprised faces of Huan's parents. 

“A-Yuan” 

Lan Fanquia breathed and they all stood there until Fanquia crashed into a hug with his mother. 

“I’m so happy to meet you again, it’s really been too long!” 

His mother hugged Fanquia back and they stayed like this for a while. 

“I’m really glad that your journey brought you to us.” 

His mother smiled at Huan's parents and welcomed them in. Huan hugged A-Cheng in a greeting and took his hand. Both walked to the dining table and sat down, side by side. The brunch was a fun affair, everybody was laughing, catching up and reminiscing about the past. After the brunch A-Cheng and Huan went to A-Cheng's room and played some video games, talked about anything and everything, walked with the dogs and A-Cheng felt so heard and safe and sound and just happy. Huan was someone easy to talk to, Jiang Cheng felt he could just be himself and wouldn’t get judged. 

He almost forgot that this wasn’t his life, that all of this didn’t belong to him. But of course he didn’t forget. And he felt sad and disappointed, and angry because he felt that way. 

The time flew and it was time to say goodbye. Huan promised to walk to school with A-Li and A-Cheng and hugged A-Cheng goodbye. It was time for bed and A-Cheng got everything ready for the school week and he couldn’t wait till tomorrow to see Huan again. 

The next days went on a similar pattern. A-Cheng would go to school with Huan and A-Li, he would hang out with his friends Zixuan and Huaisang, would spend a lot of time with Huan and they even had regular family days where his and Huan's family would do something together. Of course there were still bullies and Wen Chao that caused problems but with protection of Mingjue, Ziyao and Huan everything was not as bad as it could have been. 

Jiang Cheng never had so many people he could rely on, of course he loved his sect and his people but he never was ready enough to leave them by themself. All of the loss he experienced really hit him hard and he had to oversee everything by himself. But now someone was always by his side. Even his birthdays were never forgotten, he always received a big party with too much food and laughter in every corner. And he didn’t believe it either but he really grew fond of Huan. He was such an amazing person, always making sure that everyone was involved in whatever they were doing. It was no wonder that he was one of the most sought out after boyfriends at their school. But even after four years had passed, Huan never had a girlfriend or even any interests in a girl at their school. And the strangest thing was that this amazing person, this Huan wanted to spend time with A-Cheng as often as he could. 

Jiang Cheng didn’t understand it, even if his personality in this world was a lot tamer, he still wasn’t enjoyable to be around. The bullying didn’t completely stop and especially when he was alone Wen Chao would haunt him and throw nasty things at him. And his classmates, except of course Huaisang and Zixuan, didn’t want to interact with him. But A-Cheng didn’t mind, his most important persons already showed that they cared for him. Maybe after all this A-Cheng was still a better person than Jiang Cheng ever would be. 

Jiang Cheng was too broken and too hurt and he did too many bad things, tortured innocent lives, hurt his brother, abandoned him and let him die from resentful energy. He made Jin Ling's childhood difficult, never encouraging him to make friends and isolating him from the world. Of course he couldn’t have this life even if things were different. He didn’t deserve it. The more time had passed, the more things Jiang Cheng saw the more he got lonely and isolated. He tried so hard to just let go, to let these feelings indulge him, even if it wasn’t his feeling, just wash over him and just enjoy everything. But with every new day he became just sad and his longing just grew. But he had to be strong, this had to be his punishment for all of the things he did. And he wouldn’t back down and take every hit with a stride. 

In these four years that had already passed he grew even closer to Huan. But A-Cheng became anxious, because Huan would graduate soon and then he would be gone to a college. He heard the news, he knew that Huan already got an acceptance letter for Harvard. And it broke his heart every time he thought about it because their time together would drastically become less than it was now. Of course Huan noticed that A-Cheng was down so he invited A-Cheng even more over now. 

It was one of these days where both of them were lying on Huan’s bed, his TV making a background noise and both of them deep into a conversation. It was the day before graduation and after tomorrow everything would change. So A-Cheng wanted to make the best of the time that they had. 

A-Cheng's bad mood made Jiang Cheng even more irritable than he already was. Why was he so sad that Huan would leave? Everybody leaves one day and he really hoped that this A-Cheng would grow out of it. Of course even in this world this happiness wouldn’t last and had to come to an end. Even if it hurt Jiang Cheng, to let Huan go, he still had all the memories they did together. And maybe that would be enough. 

The conversation never stopped and both A-Cheng and Huan made themself comfortable on Huan's bed. They were now lying next to each other on the side and were looking each other in the eyes. Huan really had beautiful eyes. He always thought that they were more brown. But being so near him, the distance between themself so small, he could see specks of gold and it was just so beautiful. Huan and A-Cheng suddenly stopped talking and were just looking at each other. Jiang Cheng could feel how hard and fast A-Cheng heart was beating. 

“I’m really going to miss you.” 

A-Cheng said in a small voice. Huan just looked at him and slowly moved his hand to cup his cheeks. A-Cheng heart skipped a beat. 

“Even if I won’t be physically here anymore, I will call you everyday, I promise. You won’t even notice that I’m gone! And you don’t plan to be a high school student forever, right? I can’t wait to show you Harvard, I’m sure with your grades you will easily get in.” 

Huan was stroking his cheeks and smiling a little. And A-Cheng returned it with a wobbly smile. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Huan asked.

 “Of course!” 

A-Cheng instantly said. 

“Then trust me in this please. I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for the time with you. You are really important to me, A-Cheng.” 

Jiang Cheng had a feeling that his heart would stop. Nobody, really nobody looked at him like Huan was looking at him now. Like something precious, something important. This made him feel weird, and now even his heart was beating really fast. 

“You are important to me, too.” 

A-Cheng said with a small voice and hugged Huan across the chest, his head resting under Huan's chin. Huan automatically wrapped his arm around him and they stayed there for a while. A-Cheng even fell asleep like that. But it was time that A-Cheng had to go home. Huan was calling his name softly and petting his head. A-Cheng stirred and stretched. He didn’t plan to take a nap but it just happened. He heard a small chuckle beside him. 

“You really remind me of a spoiled little cat.” 

Huan teased A-Cheng. 

“HEY!”

A-Cheng laughed and threw a pillow on Huan's head. They had a little play fight and they both were laughing really hard. 

“Come we have to get up. You need to return home. I'm sure Jiang-ShuShu misses you already.” 

Huan took A-Cheng's hand and accompanied him to his house. They said their goodbyes, even holding the hug longer than usual and Jiang Cheng felt something awakened in A-Cheng. Like he made his mind up about something. But Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure about what. 

The next morning greeted A-Cheng with a sunny day. Jiang Cheng felt A-Cheng's nervousness but also anticipation and Jiang Cheng was confused. Why was A-Cheng feeling this way? He was even awake before his alarm clock and he even spent more time in the bathroom to get ready. He showered longer than usual, he fussed about his long hair and finally decided to put it in a ponytail with two braids on his sides and his bangs falling into his face. A-Cheng fussed about his clothes, trying different combinations before settling for a black skinny jeans, a black and violet checkered button up, black ankle booths and a black leather jacket. He was standing in the mirror, checking if everything was alright. His heart was beating really fast and Jiang Cheng wondered just what was happening? Why was A-Cheng behaving this way? A-Cheng breathed in and out and tried to motivate himself.

 “I can do this. I won’t get another chance. I have to do this. And no matter what happens I know it wouldn’t destroy our friendship, I’m sure of it! Today is going to be the day where I finally confess my feelings for Huan!” 

WHAT? Did Jiang Cheng heard it right? A confession?! For Huan? A-Cheng made his way downstairs, totally obvious to Jiang Cheng panic. This can’t be happening, why is it happening? Is A-Cheng crazy? Of course Huan would reject him, even if the circumstances of their lives are different they still have a too similar personality! Oh no, A-Cheng's going to get hurt, Jiang Cheng was sure of it! Just why did A-Cheng want to confess his feelings? Why can’t he be content with the fragile thing they had? Of course it would come to an end someday but Jiang Cheng hoped for A-Cheng that this bond would last longer. And now it was in danger to be destroyed forever. Jiang Cheng couldn’t just watch and do nothing but he didn’t have any other choice. He just really hoped that A-Cheng wouldn’t get too hurt. He didn’t want that life for him. 

A-Cheng had a fast breakfast with his family, fed the dogs, took his bag and made his way to the front door with A-Li. She had a knowing smile on her face and encouraged him till they reached Huan's house. Huan was already waiting for them and together they walked to the school. On the way they met with Ziyao and Zixuan and Zixuan quickly started a conversation with A-Li while Ziyao chuckled and walked beside him. Huan and A-Cheng fell a step behind, already deep into a conversation. 

Jiang Cheng really had a bad feeling, it felt like something incredible was coming to an end. And he shouldn’t feel disappointed, he shouldn’t feel hurt. He already lost so much but the last years here in this universe he really couldn’t imagine his life any different than it is now. Huan was always a constant and positive force in his life. Would all of it really come to an end? Jiang Cheng just hoped that Huan would reject A-Cheng softly. 

They were nearing the school and A-Cheng grabbed Huan's arm and made him stop. 

“Do you have time after school? Can we meet up at our usual spot here? I want to tell you something important but I want to tell you when we’re alone.” 

Jiang Cheng felt the heat on A-Cheng's cheeks and his fast heart. A-Cheng couldn’t look into Huan's face. 

“Of course, everything for you, A-Cheng.”

Huan's voice was so gentle and he patted A-Cheng's head. They made a promise that they would meet behind the school under the cherry blossom tree after classes and went to their respective classes together. 

The school day couldn’t be over fast enough. Luckily there weren't many classes anymore because the summer break was here and the grades were already decided. Many teachers just showed some films or did other activities. 

Finally the school day was over and A-Cheng informed Zixuan and Huaisang that he needed to go somewhere. Even they were giving him knowing looks, Huaisang even shouting “GOOD LUCK!” before A-Cheng made his way to the cherry blossom tree. 

The graduation ceremony was planned in the evening for the seniors, so Huan had some time till then. He was already waiting under the beautiful cherry blossom tree, looking up at the swaying branches. Before A-Cheng reached him he already turned around and gave A-Cheng a big smile. 

Jiang Cheng would miss all of this. Huan's gentleness he gave so freely to A-Cheng, Huan's compassion and kindness, their days together, spending time together, falling asleep side by side. Over the time he grew really fond of Huan and now he couldn’t do anything but to watch how everything he had would get destroyed. 

“Thank you for coming.” 

A-Cheng said breathlessly while looking into Huan's eyes. 

“Of course, like I said: anything for you. So, what do you want to talk about? Is everything okay?” 

Jiang Cheng could hear worry in Huan’s voice. 

“Yes, yes, everything’s okay! You don’t have to worry.” 

A-Cheng grinned. But not long after his grin disappeared, he breathed in and out and became serious. 

“No matter what I’m going to say, I really hope it doesn’t change your opinion of me. You are really important to me and I don’t want to lose you because of this. Please know that these are just my feelings and I just need to get them out.” 

Jiang Cheng was impressed. Even if he could feel how hard and fast A-Cheng's heart was beating and how nervous he got he still looked into Huan’s eyes. Huan's face showed some worry but he didn’t say anything, just nodded like he wanted to encourage A-Cheng to go on. There was a beat of silence and it seemed like everything came to a stillstand. Huan and A-Cheng were still looking deeply into each other’s eyes and it was like they were the only ones in this world. But before he could talk again A-Cheng closed his eyes. 

“I-I like you. I like you really much. I like you how my mum likes my dad, how every romance protagonist likes their romantic interest. I can’t imagine my life without you, every day is like a present because I get to spend it with you.” 

Once A-Cheng started to speak he couldn’t stop. He was looking everywhere else but at Huan. 

“I’m sure I have liked you since we were children, you are so important to me and I just wanted to take this chance to confess my feelings. I’m sure you will meet more amazing people at Harvard, and maybe you will forget me and will just think of me as a childhood friend. But I can’t hide these feelings anymore, especially after yesterday. Because sleeping next to you and waking up next to you is everything I ever wished for and I can’t do anything but to love you. So thank you for letting me get everything out, and if you don’t feel the same way the only wish I have is-“ 

A-Cheng got interrupted because Huan enveloped him in a tight hug. A-Cheng was stiff but it didn’t take long to hug Huan back. He dropped his head onto Huan's shoulder while Huan was stroking his back and cupping his head to press A-Cheng even more close to him.  

“Oh A-Cheng, my dear A-Cheng of course I feel the same way. Thank you so much for taking the first step. I was afraid, I always thought you just saw me as a big brother. You don’t know how happy I am now, thank you for liking me, for loving me. I of course love you, too.”

A-Cheng felt wet droplets at the top of his head but he couldn’t say anything because he was crying happy tears, too. They stood there for a while, enjoying each other’s company. 

Jiang Cheng was tongue-tied and in shock. Just what happened? Did Huan really say that he felt the same thing for A-Cheng? Like what? Could this really be true? Is there really a person that would just love him? 

No, Jiang Cheng shouldn’t forget. This person isn’t him. This person is just someone who looked like him. This person had a loving family, loyal friends and a good and happy life. Even if they were kind of similar in characteristics, they were different enough that this person deserved love, not him. Jiang Cheng was too broken, too angry and did so much to hurt so many people. He should be used to this, to this pain. But he never thought how much his heart would hurt and yearn for something that these two had. 

But the Huan of his world, Zewu-Jun, would never love him. He didn’t even spare him a glance at the conferences and he always put other people first. Jiang Cheng was always the forgotten sect leader before he became the fearful sect leader. And Zewu-Jun just deserved better. A person who is kind, forgiving and loving. Not some broken and angry person who couldn’t even give his love to his brother and nephew. 

A-Cheng and Huan slowly backed up from the hug but they were still holding each other. Huan brought his hand up and cupped A-Cheng's cheek while A-Cheng was clenching at the front of Huan's shirt. 

“I already wanted to do this yesterday and I’m glad I can ask you today without any fear.” 

Huan's eyes dropped onto A-Cheng's lips and back again to his eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Huan got redder and redder but he still stared into A-Cheng's eyes. A-Cheng just nodded, too overwhelmed to even form any words. Huan smiled and slowly closed the distance between them.  

While A-Cheng was eagerly waiting for his first kiss, Jiang Cheng was mortified. Not because he thought it was disgusting, but because he never kissed anyone before, never had the time and the nerve to even meet up with anyone and he was really afraid he would like it too much. The loss of this would even hurt more. But he couldn’t do anything, this body just didn’t react. 

‘No, No, NO please no please I don’t want to feel this, please heavens please!’ 

It was like time passed slowly, Jiang Cheng saw how Huan was closing the distance slowly, looking deep into A-Cheng's eyes. Maybe he really did deserve this punishment, of course the gods wouldn’t let him go so easily. Jiang Cheng did everything to calm down and to get ready, waiting for the kiss with panic. But before he even could feel the kiss, something strange happened. Suddenly his soul was pulled away from this body and he was floating on top of Huan and A-Cheng. He just saw how A-Cheng and Huan were kissing each other before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen felt strange. It was like he was here and nowhere at the same time. Was he even alive anymore? After the strange energy took over him he really thought that he would die. But he still was alive somehow, even if everything felt off. Just where was he? 

He tried to open his eyes but just darkness welcomed him. He tried to move but nothing happened. So he tried to concentrate on his other senses. He felt that he was lying on a soft underground, the air smelled of sandalwood, and he could hear people talking in a little distance. But wasn’t he at the cold springs just a moment ago? Just what happened to him? Maybe he was back at the Hanshi again? 

But the underground was too soft for his bed. And he had a feeling that something was missing. Something really essential. That’s when he noticed that he couldn’t feel his golden core but what was even more strange was that he didn’t feel any spiritual energy at all! 

Before he could even think further, he suddenly felt a headache and many pictures and information were pouring in his head. Lan Xichen felt like his head would explode! 

Just how long would this take? 

Finally the influx of information stopped and Lan Xichen needed a moment to process everything he learned. Because all of the information felt like a joke - how could any of this be true?

‘Okay Huan, calm down. You can do this.’ 

He breathed in and out and tried to be calm. Okay, what did he learn from all of the new knowledge he gained? According to everything he gathered he was still Lan Huan, but he wasn’t his 36 year old sect leader self, he was a 13 years old school kid. 

In this strange world things like sects, spiritual and resentful energies didn’t exist. Instead some strange inventions and energies were fueling this world. 

Both of his parents were alive, his mother was a music teacher and his father was working as a school principal. Wangji was still his brother, Lan Qiren was still his uncle and he was married to a woman named Sisi. 

Currently this version of him was living with his parents while Wangji was living with his uncle and aunt. The reason was a sad one - children can really be cruel. But now Wangji was living his life, meeting new people and learning about different cultures. And even here he managed to find his Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen was glad. He also learned that his uncle and aunt were working for an organization called “Doctors without Borders” and that they, Wei Wuxian and his family and even Wen Qing and Wen Ning with their family were stationed at the same place and were working as doctors. Lan Xichen was really happy that Wangji could make some friends! 

He also learned that he and his parents were moving to a different location today. 

Okay, that had to be everything. But what happened that he was living a different life now? Did he die and was reincarnated into a different life? But that didn’t make sense. First of all he remembered his life before. And lastly he still couldn’t move this body he was in. So what else happened to him? 

He tried to make sense of the situation and then it hit him. Even if he never felt it himself before, he had to learn everything about it. This felt exactly like “Empathy”. Because it was such a dangerous practice that could destroy your soul and lead you to madness, nearly nobody was using this method. The Lans had “Inquiry” for asking the ghosts and normally that would be enough. And especially the Lans were trained hard so no ghost could pull them into an unwanted empathy. Normally only a dead person's ghost could pull somebody into empathy, not a living one. The body of a living being would just reject any intruding soul, so empathy was impossible to perform on a living person. 

So how was he not only pulled into it, but also pulled into it by a living person? And this person was another version of himself? Lan Xichen couldn’t really believe it, he had to see it with his own eyes.

At this moment he noticed a sound. Somebody was opening the door into the room he was in and he felt a presence making their way to him. Lan Xichen couldn’t sense any malice from this person. This person was now sitting next to his head and slowly petting his head. 

“A-Huan my little prince, I’m sorry but you have to get up now.”

Lan Xichen would’ve cried at this moment if he could. This Voice, this voice which protected him from the Wens, the person of this voice which he tried to forget so much and this voice which he loved and hated at the same time while his guilt was eating him alive - the voice of his father. It was his father. He never felt this kind of love and kindness from his father. His father was always distant, giving his responsibility to raise his brother and him and to be a sect leader to his uncle. And now his father was here, next to him and touching this A-Huan with so much care and love. 

Lan Xichen didn't know how to feel. Did he hate it? Did he love it? 

A-Huan woke up slowly and opened his eyes. Finally Lan Xichen could see his surroundings. He was in a light blue room with big windows next to him. A-Huan sat up and turned to his father. His father smiled at him and looked at him like he was something precious. 

Lan Xichen couldn’t help but stare. It was really his father. He didn’t have many memories with his father, only saw him maybe a handful times through his whole life and the last memory was a painful one. But this version of his father looked happy and a lot like him. His eyes were a similar shade of dark gold brown, his hair was long and tied up in a low ponytail. People often said that he looked like his father and Lan Wangji like his mother but he never realized how similar they both looked. A-Huan was smiling at his father.

“Good morning A-Die. Thank you for waking me up.” 

A-Huan gave a side hug to his father and his father hugged him back. 

“Are you nervous because of today?” 

His father asked him. A-Huan buried his head into his father’s chest and took a deep breath. 

“I’m nervous but I’m glad that we are moving away from here. Neither A-Zhan nor me were happy here. I hope we meet nice people and that I can make some friends!” 

His father tightened the hug. 

“Of course there will be nice people. You met Auntie and Uncle Wei. They said that their family lives there and that they are really nice! I also heard they have a daughter and a son at your age, I’m sure you all can be friends!” 

A-Huan just nodded and they hugged each other for a while. After that A-Huan got up and made his way to the bathroom. 

Lan Xichen’s thoughts were reeling. It was confusing seeing his younger self so vulnerable and honest. Lan Xichen never had the chance to live his grievances and to show his sadness or loneliness before everything went down. He had to be a big brother and be strong for Wangji, especially after their mother’s death. He had to learn to lead and to be neutral and diplomatic from a very young age. He had to hide these “negative” emotions and had to always be understanding and wise. 

Of course his uncle did his best to raise Wangji and him but they never hugged or showed that kind of love. Neither Wangji nor his uncle liked physical touch and affection. Even if his uncle gave praise when it was due and showed his love another way, his uncle raised both of them to always respect the sect rules, never show any weakness and always be humble and respectful. To see this kind of affection in front of him, it was really strange but Lan Xichen couldn’t say that he hated it. He loved his family, he loved his uncle and his brother. But sometimes, even before the Guanyin Temple incident, he longed to be affectionate with his family. Even his sworn brothers rarely showed physical affection except maybe a pad on a shoulder. So he never got to experience it. 

So he couldn’t say he hated this kind of affection. But it still felt strange. Because even if his father looked the same and even if really everyone he knew and loved lived in this strange world - the person that got all of the love wasn’t him. It was A-Huan. But that didn’t stop Lan Xichen from savoring every moment he got. Because even if all of this was meant to be some kind of a punishment for him, Lan Xichen just couldn’t see it as one. Because he would get everything he longed for - a loving family, an environment where he could be himself and hopefully friends and people he could trust. 

A-Huan was washing his face now and Lan Xichen could see his face in the mirror. And even if he knew it, to see it with his own eyes was different. This A-Huan really looked like his younger self. He still had his dark golden brown eyes, his hair was still long and A-Huan wore it half up and half down like him. 

A-Huan brushed his teeth and got ready and made his way downstairs. A-Huan heard some noise on his left side and made his way to the kitchen. Arriving there Lan Xichen thought his heart would stop. Standing there, her back facing A-Huan and packing something was his mother. His mother whom Lan Xichen just saw once a month till her death. His mother who did her best to show her love to him and Wangji. His mother whom he never had a chance to learn more about. Would she still look the same as in his memories? Would she still have that kind smile on her face? 

His mother turned around, broke into a big smile and came towards A-Huan. And she really looked the same, but even better. She looked healthy and really happy. The resemblance to Wangji was there. 

“Good morning my little prince, did you sleep well?” 

A-Huan's mother kneeled down and hugged his son tight. A-Huan just nodded and hugged his mother back. Lan Xichen could just die here and now and he wouldn’t regret it. This kind of affection he longed for so long was given so freely in this world. Did he really deserve all of this? Why was he granted such a wonderful gift? 

After a while A-Huan broke the hug and his mother patted his head. 

“Did you pack everything? Are you ready?” 

“Yes, I can’t wait to finally move away from here!” 

A-Huan exclaimed. His mother laughed warmly at him. The doorbell rang and his father made his way to the door to open it. After that some workers came to their home and took the boxes and the furniture into a big transporter. A-Huan and his mother got into their car while his father made the final check and locked everything up. After everything was done his father got into the driver's seat and they drove to their new home. 

For Lan Xichen the car drive was really exciting. He never experienced something like that before! In his world the way for transport was either by horse or by sword. But being in a machine while moving at a really high speed - Lan Xichen couldn’t help but to feel like a little kid finding new things to explore. 

A-Huan was looking out of the window and Lan Xichen saw more of this strange world. There were really really tall buildings and a lot of different kinds of cars. And so many people were already up and on the road! The further they got, Lan Xichen saw more interesting things. A lake with big ships, shops with big light signs, many big signs with some kind of commercials on them and all kinds of different cars and other transportation methods. 

After a while A-Huan's stomach growled and his father looked at him through the rear-view mirror. 

“Are you hungry, my little bear?” 

A-Huan nodded.

“Why don’t we take a little break and get something to eat? The rest stop isn’t far from here and I saw that there is also a little breakfast restaurant.” 

They parked at the rest stop and made their way to the restaurant. It was really colorful inside and Lan Xichen saw many different artworks and pictures. It was something he had never seen before - instead of nature these pictures showed realistic looking people and different locations with the big houses and different cars. They sat on a bright red table with cushioned chairs and in front of him was a thick paper. Lan Xichen read the word “menu” and on it were different kinds of dishes listed. 

“Hello, welcome to “Take-A-Breakfast”, what can I get for you?” 

A waitress asked them. Lan Xichen didn’t even realize that a person was standing next to them. After everyone gave their orders the waitress made her way back  to the kitchens and he was alone with his parents again. A-Huan and his parents were talking about all kinds of things, what he liked to do when they got to the new house, if he liked his new room, if he was nervous because of the new school and so on. 

After a while the food had arrived and A-Huan got some thin cakes with some kind of cream and red berries and it tasted heavenly! In no time his hunger was stilled and they got on the road again. His father turned the radio on and Lan Xichen enjoyed the different kinds of music he never heard before. Some songs were really fast, some slower, some really catchy and some really meaningful. Finally they reached their destination and the workers were already there, carrying the furniture and all the boxes into their new home. 

“Why don’t you check out your new room while we organize the things here downstairs?” 

His father smiled down at him. A-Huan nodded excitedly and ran upstairs. The upstairs had three rooms. One room was the bathroom. Lan Xichen saw a big bathtub, a toilet and a sink. Left next to it was another room and on the door he could see that there was a sign. “Zhan” it read. 

‘So that must be his brother’s room.’ 

Lan Xichen thought. Right next to the bathroom was another door with his name and A-Huan opened it. A very bright and big room welcomed him, the walls were a soft bright blue and on one side instead of a wall was a really big window. A-Huan looked out of it and saw another house and a row of windows not far from his. The curtains weren’t covering the windows and he could see a purple room with a bed and a shelf full of some kind of books. 

Who were their neighbors again? Ah yes, the family of Auntie Wei. Lan Xichen wondered who they could be. After all, in his world Wei Wuxian’s parents were dead and he didn’t know that he had any other relatives. 

A-Huan turned away from the windows and started to unpack his boxes. There weren’t many things to unpack. Just some books, some trophies he got from some music and art competitions, his instruments (a harp and a flute), his art supplies and his clothes. And in no time everything was unpacked and his room looked really cozy and just nice. Lan Xichen couldn’t help but to smile. This room was everything he wished for and he hoped he would find some friends to share his hobbies and happiness with. There was a knock on his door and A-Huan opened it quickly. 

“The new neighbors, Aunt Wei’s family, are here and they asked if you would like to go to the park with them and their dogs. Would you like to go?”

His father bent down on his eye level and smiled at him warmly. 

“Yes! A-Zhan always talks about how awesome Wei Wuxian and his family are. I want to meet these nice people, too! And I also want to meet the dogs!” 

A-Huan was really excited and his father and him made their way downstairs. His mother was talking on the doorway with someone and turned around when she noticed him and his father. Lan Xichen could finally see the people standing in the doorway and he was really surprised! There were the late Sect Leader Jiang, late Young Madam Jin and Sect Leader Jiang. A-Huan introduced himself and gave everyone a handshake. But when he got to Sect Leader Jiang something strange happened. A-Huan couldn’t help but to stare at him and even Sect Leader Jiang, or should he say Cheng, was staring at him with his big eyes. 

And Lan Xichen had to admit that the younger version of Sect Leader Jiang looked really really cute. His hair was in his usual style and he really looked like the version of his world but a lot younger. His cheekbones weren’t defined as he remembered and he looked a lot softer with his soft looking cheeks and small mouth. And strangely Lan Xichen had a need to pinch his cute little cheeks and to feel the squishiness between his fingers. 

He never thought he would think that Sect Leader Jiang was cute, the Sect Leader Jiang from his world was always fierce and always had a scowl on his face. His high cheekbones and smaller eyes always made him look fierce. But this version, this Cheng, looked so innocent and just cute. It was really confusing for Lan Xichen. That’s when he noticed that Cheng’s face got redder and redder and he also could feel A-Huan’s heart beating really fast and his face getting warmer and warmer. He never felt like this before. Was he getting sick? Was Cheng also getting sick? 

They were interrupted by a cough and all of the people there were either smiling or smirking at them. Did they know something he didn’t know? Just what was happening? 

After introductions and meeting the really adorable dogs A-Huan had a really great day at a park. Even with what happened with Wen Chao. Some things just never change. Speaking of this, he was really bewildered to meet A-Yao, or should he say Ziyao, again. He was still feeling so much grief and guilt when it came to him but seeing this version of A-Yao was different. This version was really confident and didn’t need to hide behind fake smiles and fake gestures. Would this person be the real A-Yao if he had a family that accepted him the way he was? Or is this all still a farce from A-Yao, to get to your good side and then to stab you in the back? He didn’t know what to feel but he could sense that A-Huan wasn’t nervous or anything like that to speak to him. He was calm and friendly. 

What was even more surprising though was A-Huan interaction with Sect Leader Jiang. If someone would ever tell him that he would have a close friendship with Sect Leader Jiang, so close even that they call each other Gege and Didi, he would have thought that this person must have been crazy. But here, in this strange world, that was what was happening. And he couldn’t explain it but he already grew fond of this Sect Leader Jiang. Was it always meant to be that they two became friends? Why didn’t they become friends in their world? 

And then it hit him. Of course, how could he forget? There was an incident after the water abyss incident where both of them stayed in the same room at an inn. He just wanted to help the friendship between his brother and Master Wei and came up with a plan to bring them closer together. But after he revealed his plans to Sect Leader Jiang, Sect Leader Jiang just went quiet and went to bed. Lan Xichen didn’t get it then, he just thought that Sect Leader Jiang was tired after a tough mission. Even if he was a little bit disappointed because he also wanted to get to know Sect Leader Jiang better, he just thought that they still had time. 

But everything happened differently than he thought. Suddenly Sect Leader Jiang started to avoid him, never staying behind the class when Lan Xichen was teaching and isolating himself even more after Master Wei had to go back. Lan Xichen just thought that maybe Sect Leader Jiang must have been hating him for some reason or maybe didn’t want to get to know him better. So he didn’t really give it a second thought and went on with his life. 

But seeing A-Huan and Cheng so close, laughing, having deep conversations and having so much fun he wondered if that had been the right way to go. If he had reached out to Sect Leader Jiang, asked him why he was avoiding him, would both of them have this kind of friendship? Would everything else be different? He couldn’t help but think about it. 

The brunch that he and his family had over the Yu-Jiangs were also really great. When was the last time he laughed so much? And had so much fun? And the old friendship his mother had with Madam Yu, it was really surprising but amazing at the same time. The time just flew and already two days had passed since they moved and since he had awoken in this body. 

A new day has dawned and it was his first day at the new school. Luckily he wouldn’t have to go there alone, Cheng and Yanli had already promised him that they would walk together to school. And he was so glad that he wasn’t alone. Yanli was even in the same class as he was supposed to be and he was really thankful to the gods to make this possible. 

After getting ready and having breakfast with his parents, he took his bag and made his way outside to the right, where the Yu-Jiang family house was. Yanli and Cheng were already waiting for him and together they made their way to the school. 

The school was really different from what he’d known. It was livelier, noisier and a lot more people were here. Everybody was talking or laughing. Some people turned and looked at him with curiosity but neither went to him to greet him or to talk to him. A-Huan was talking with Yanli and Cheng, asking questions about this school. Lan Xichen could feel A-Huan's nervousness but also his excitement. 

They were now inside of the big school building and Cheng had to go a different way because he was two years under Yanli and Huan. Yanli accompanied Huan to the secretary's office to get him registered. He got his timetable and they both made their way to the first class of the day. In front of the classroom the teacher was already waiting for him. 

“You must be Lan Huan, welcome to our school.” 

She smiled kindly at him and turned to Yanli. 

“Thank you so much for helping him with the registration Yanli. That was really kind of you.” 

“No problem at all, I’m glad I could help!” 

Yanli smiled at her teacher before she went into the classroom. The teacher was now looking at him again. 

“I hope you aren’t too nervous. You don’t have to worry, your classmates are really nice. I already talked with our two class representatives, they will show you around. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask me. I’m your home room teacher after all.” 

A-Huan just nodded and said his thanks before the two of them made their way to the classroom. 

“Good morning everyone!” 

The teacher said while entering the classroom. 

“Good morning Ms Smith!” 

The students greeted Ms Smith back.

“Before we begin, I’d like to introduce you to our new student. Please everyone, welcome Lan Huan.” 

Everyone gave their greetings to A-Huan. 

“You can sit between Mingjue and Ziyao. They are also the ones who will show you around after class.” 

A-Huan gave a polite bow and sat down in his assigned seat. 

Lan Xichen thought his heart would explode. So many years, already so many years he had lived without his Da-ge, without  Mingjue. And now he was here, right next to him and was looking as imposing and strong as Lan Xichen remembered. Oh how he missed this! Maybe in this world the three of them can be true friends? Without betrayal and mind games? Is it too much to wish for? 

The class had begun so A-Huan couldn’t talk much with Mingjue and Ziyao. But after class they could finally talk and even Yanli came over to them. After introductions they went out of the class, so the three of them could show A-Huan around. While walking Lan Xichen collected even more information. 

Mingjue, Yanli and Ziyao were childhood friends and inseparable since birth. Their families often did many things together, like going on a vacation or making small trips. All of them had little brothers, of course A-Huan already knew Cheng and he learned that even Huaisang and Zixuan made it into this world. And Ziyao and Zixuan were full blood brothers! And the craziest part is that Jin Guangshan didn’t exist, the father of Ziyao and Zixuan was someone called Jin Guangyao! 

Every new information was like a fever dream, but this world was real. Lan Xichen had really fun on his first day of school. At lunch he met the little brothers and was surprised how quickly he was welcomed into their little circle. It was like a dream come true and Lan Xichen really hoped that it would stay that way. 

Time really flew in this world and in a blink of an eye already four years had passed. Four years of so much fun, loyal friends, an amazing family and so many new experiences. When was the last time he let go of everything and just lived? It felt so awesome just to be himself! Even if he knew that this A-Huan wasn’t him, he was so thankful to experience this. And he never thought he would say this but he was so thankful for having Cheng by his side. 

That was the most surprising development and he now knew that A-Huan was deeply in love with Cheng. That was why his heart was beating so fast at their first meeting and with every new meeting his feelings just grew. Even his friends had noticed his feelings, teasing him and encouraging him to just follow his feelings. Yanli especially spoke out her support while still giving him the shovel talk. 

But Lan Xichen also knew that A-Huan wanted to wait till both of them were a little older. Maybe in college or after college. He could feel the anxiety A-Huan felt, feel his worries and his overthinking. But every moment spent with Cheng let these thoughts just disappear. 

A-Huan was in the middle of preparing for his college applications and learning for his last tests when he heard a knock on his door. 

“Come in!” 

A-Huan shouted without looking up from his learning materials. Suddenly a cup of hot cocoa and some cookies were put in front of him. 

“You need food to concentrate.” 

A gruff voice said and A-Huan immediately turned around. 

“Cheng!” 

A-Huan jumped up and crushed Cheng into a tight hug. 

“Thank you for thinking of me!” 

He let go of the hug and looked Cheng into his eyes. He could see a light blush on Cheng's face and it was really adorable and really beautiful. Was Cheng having the same feelings as A-Huan? Maybe in this world A-Huan really will find his one true love? 

“How far along are you with your learning? Do you have the time to revise everything you need to know? We don’t want you to get sick so close to the tests, so please take care of yourself! Or else I have to break your legs!” 

Cheng said while poking at his shoulder. A-Huan just laughed and pulled Cheng into a loose hug while still looking at him. And even Lan Xichen had to laugh. Of course he heard the threats that Sect Leader Jiang would say to his nephew and knew that they came from a place of love. But now being at the receiving end of this thread Lan Xichen couldn’t help to feel happy and fond of Cheng. 

“Of course, of course, you don’t have to worry. It’s not much anymore and after tomorrow I’m finally free. I also already sent out all my college applications so we will have more time together. You don’t have to worry!” 

A-Huan teased. Cheng became mortified and pushed A-Huan's head away. 

“Who wants to spend time with you, hm?” 

He pouted. But Lan Xichen could see a smile on Cheng's face and it made his heart warm. He really enjoyed the little banters both of them had and he couldn’t help but wonder if he just let all of this go because he thought other things were more important and because he put others first, totally ignoring Sect Leader Jiang except for some polite talk and greetings. And even if he felt so much joy in this world he also felt even more regret. Because it was now even more clear that if he had made different decisions and had other priorities his world would also be as beautiful as this world was. But what is done can’t be undone and living with these feelings was his punishment. 

“Yes yes, just admit it, you like to spend time with me.” 

A-Huan smirked at Cheng. Cheng just said “Hmpf!” and crossed his arms. A-Huans smiled softly at Cheng. 

“Do you want to stay over? I’m nearly ready and we can watch something if you want?”

 A-Huan asked nervously. 

“No, no, don’t worry I’m good. I can wait till you have more time after tomorrow and I don’t want to distract you. I just wanted to bring you some snacks, and wish you good luck tomorrow. I know you can do it!” 

Cheng smiled brightly at him. And in moments like these he fell in love with Cheng over and over again. But who wouldn’t fall in love with such a beautiful and wonderful person? A-Huan just nodded and hugged Cheng before both of them said their goodbyes. 

The tests were finally done and A-Huan had finally time for his friends but especially for Cheng again. He was notified that he was accepted into a really prestigious college called Harvard. And his graduation was close. Even if A-Huan felt proud of himself for achieving so much, Lan Xichen could also feel sadness inside of him. And of course Lan Xichen knew why. 

After graduation A-Huan would move to the dorms at Harvard and wouldn’t have as much time as now to spend with Cheng. And A-Huan was afraid that Cheng would meet someone better, someone more deserving. But he was also afraid to be rejected. So he just hoped that maybe when Cheng was in college that both of them could start a relationship. And he did his best to spend as much time as possible with Cheng. 

The last two weeks just flew by and it was now the day before the graduation day. Cheng and A-Huan were lying on A-Huans bed and talking about everything and anything. And then he learned that Cheng was also afraid of the change. But both of them could do this, A-Huan was sure. He didn’t want to lose this, the closeness and this familiarity and the feeling of finally coming home. He finally found his soulmate, he wouldn’t want to let this go. 

And Lan Xichen was just overwhelmed from these strong emotions and felt a longing for a person he wasn’t even sure like him at all. He wasn’t sure if he was just projecting this Cheng to Sect Leader Jiang but something told him that the both of them weren’t so much different at all. After all this A-Huan and him didn’t have much differences either. But still he wasn’t sure if Sect Leader Jiang even wanted to take this step. And even if he wanted to, Lan Xichen was stuck in this body and couldn’t do anything. So either way maybe it wasn’t meant to be. 

Cheng was hugging A-Huan across his chest and A-Huan was hugging him back. Cheng felt asleep like that and a need to protect this person formed in both A-Huans and Lan Xichens mind even stronger than before. They would go through this, everything would be alright. 

Unfortunately A-Huan had to wake Cheng up and they had to say their goodbyes. A-Huan was nervous and sad at the same time and he really hoped that tomorrow would pass slowly so he could spend as much time as possible with Cheng before he had to move away. Was it really the right way to wait to confess? But he couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk losing his important person. 

The next day welcomed him with sunny skies. A-Huan took his time to get ready, packed his back and after a short breakfast with his parents he left the house. The graduation ceremony was in the evening but there were still some things to prepare, so he had to go to school to help out. 

Cheng and Yanli were already making their way towards them. Together they went to school, met with Zixuan and Ziyao on the way and A-Huan and Cheng were already deep into a conversation. A-Huan and even Lan Xichen noticed that Cheng was nervous and Lan Xichen really hoped that it wasn’t because Cheng was worrying about the future with them. 

Just when they arrived at the school Cheng grabbed A-Huan's arm. 

“Do you have time after school? Can we meet up at our usual spot here? I want to tell you something important but I want to tell you when we’re alone.” 

A really adorable blush was adorning Cheng's cheeks and he didn’t look at Huan's eyes. Why was Cheng blushing? 

“Of course, everything for you, A-Cheng.” 

A-Huan's voice was so gentle and he patted Cheng's head. They made a promise that they would meet behind the school under the cherry blossom tree after classes and went to their respective classes together. 

Lan Xichen felt the worry inside A-Huan, but the knowing looks and smirks from his best friends confused him. Did they know something he didn’t know? The day couldn’t pass fast enough and luckily the simple work of preparing for the graduation ceremony distracted him long enough. 

Finally the class was free to go but before he could walk over to the spot Mingjue and Ziyao were grabbing him on the shoulder, while Yanli was standing in front of him. 

“Good luck with your meeting, I’m sure it will be alright.” 

Ziyao smiled kindly at him and patted his shoulder. 

“You’re getting the chance of your life, so don’t be afraid and just take it!” 

Yanli encouraged him. 

“Yes, go get him, lover boy!” 

Mingjue laughed and pushed him lightly out of the classroom. Before A-Huan could even say anything back, the three of them disappeared, leaving a confused A-Huan alone. A-Huan just shook his head and made his way to the cherry blossoms. It was really a beautiful sight, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, branches swaying gently in the wind. 

Suddenly he heard steps behind him and he knew that it was Cheng. He turned around and A-Huan couldn’t help but smile. Cheng was really a good looking person and just beautiful inside and outside. 

“Thank you for coming.” 

Cheng said breathlessly while looking into A-Huan's eyes. 

“Of course, like I said: anything for you. So, what do you want to talk about? Is everything okay?” 

Even if he didn’t really have a reason, A-Huan was still worried something had happened. 

“Yes, yes, everything’s okay! You don’t have to worry.” 

Cheng grinned. And it was just a beautiful sight. Lan Xichen just stared in wonder at how open and comfortable Cheng was with A-Huan. But suddenly Cheng's grin disappeared, he breathed in and out and became serious. 

“No matter what I’m going to say, I really hope it doesn’t change your opinion of me. You are really important to me and I don’t want to lose you because of this. Please know that these are just my feelings and I just need to get them out.” 

Okay now even Lan Xichen was worried. Even if Cheng looked him in the eyes, the worry just didn’t disappear. He really hoped he was just over conscious and it wasn’t something bad. But Lan Xichen could feel A-Huan's nervousness and fast heartbeat. But he didn’t say anything, just nodded, encouraging Cheng to go on. There was a beat of silence and it seemed like everything came to a stillstand. A-Huan and Cheng were still looking deeply into each other’s eyes and it was like they were the only ones in this world. But the moment was broken because A-Cheng closed his eyes. 

“I-I like you. I like you really much. I like you how my mum likes my dad, how every romance protagonist likes their romantic interest. I can’t imagine my life without you, every day is like a present because I get to spend it with you.”

Wait, was this really happening, did Cheng really just confess? And he liked A-Huan, too? What? Before Lan Xichen even could process everything Cheng was saying and A-Huan could react, Cheng was still talking, like a damn just broke and he couldn’t stop himself. 

“I’m sure I have liked you since we were children, you are so important to me and I just wanted to take this chance to confess my feelings. I’m sure you will meet more amazing people at Harvard, and maybe you will forget me and will just think of me as a childhood friend. But I can’t hide these feelings anymore, especially after yesterday. Because sleeping next to you and waking up next to you is everything I ever wished for and I can’t do anything but to love you. So thank you for letting me get everything out, and if you don’t feel the same way the only wish I have is-“ 

No, Lan Xichen couldn’t give Cheng the feeling that he wasn’t feeling the same way and luckily A-Huan felt the same way because A-Huan interrupted Cheng with a tight hug. He could feel Cheng stiffen under his hold but it didn’t take Cheng long to hug A-Huan back. Cheng dropped his head onto A-Huan's shoulder while Huan was stroking his back and cupping his head to press Cheng even more close to him.  

“Oh A-Cheng, my dear A-Cheng of course I feel the same way. Thank you so much for taking the first step. I was afraid, I always thought you just saw me as a big brother. You don’t know how happy I am now, thank you for liking me, for loving me. I of course love you, too.” 

A-Huan was crying happy tears and Lan Xichen felt the tears from Cheng on his shoulder. They stood there for a while, enjoying each other’s company. 

Lan Xichen couldn’t help but smile the whole time. He really had someone who loved him, someone so special and beautiful. But he knew that this Cheng didn’t love him, he loved a version of himself. Lan Xichen's smile turned bittersweet and a deep longing and regret formed in his gut. Just why did he let the relationship with Sect Leader Jiang just wither away? Just why didn’t he try more to get closer to him? Why did he prioritize other things, especially since that led to so many tragedies and deaths? 

And even now he couldn’t do anything to fix it, to learn more about Sect Leader Jiang. The gods knew what a good punishment this was because even if Lan Xichen was happy for this Huan and Cheng his heart was exploding with so much longing and regret. 

Cheng and A-Huan slowly loosened the hug but they were still holding each other. A-Huan brought his hand up and cupped Cheng's cheek while Cheng was clenching at the front of A-Huan's shirt. 

“I already wanted to do this yesterday and I’m glad I can ask you today without any fear.” 

A-Huan's eyes dropped onto Cheng's lips and back again to his eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

A-Huan got redder and redder but he still stared into Cheng's eyes. Cheng just nodded, and Lan Xichen could feel the overwhelming happiness inside of A-Huan. 

Lan Xichen didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. He really wanted to kiss Cheng, but it would never be him that was kissing him. But either way he couldn’t do anything but to watch how everything he wished for was happening in front of his eyes while he was just standing behind, not being able to do anything. 

But before he even could feel the kiss, something strange happened. Suddenly his soul was pulled away from this body and he was floating on top of A-Huan and Cheng. He just saw how Cheng and A-Huan were kissing each other before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng groaned and woke up. The familiar darkness welcomed him and Jiang Cheng was sure he was pulled into an empathy again. Wasn’t he just in A-Cheng's body, why was he in somebody else’s now? Knowing what would happen next, Jiang Cheng waited. And there it was - the influx of information and pictures. Jiang Cheng was prepared this time but it still hurt like hell. Finally, the influx was over and Jiang Cheng took a moment to make sense of everything. 

From the information he gathered he was Jiang Cheng again. This Jiang Cheng was eighteen years old and he still had his parents and his sister. But everything else was again really different from what he had known. This world wasn’t like his world or the world of A-Cheng. This world still didn’t have sects but instead there were different Kingdoms. His father was King of Yunmeng and every other sect he had known from his world were different Kingdoms in this world. 

But what was really surprising was that he wasn’t the next heir, he wasn’t the crown prince. His sister, Jiang Yanli, was the crown princess! This had two reasons apparently. The first and obvious reason was that she was the first born and even if she was a woman she was still respected and loved all over the kingdom for her kindness but also her strength. And the second reason was even crazier. His kingdom and even the whole world didn’t know that this Jiang Cheng existed. So everyone thought that the queen just wasn’t able to produce more children. But they couldn’t be more wrong. 

The reason he was hidden wasn’t luckily because nobody wanted him. No, the reason he was hidden was because he had really special powers inside him and needed to be trained for the Special Knight Union. The Yu-Part of his family founded the Union and was even the origin of this power. But not every child born into the Yu-Family possessed this power. It was really rare and so every child being born into the Yu-Family needed to be observed. If they showed any signs that they inherited the power the child would be declared dead and hidden away from prying eyes. 

From the outside the Yu-Kingdom appeared to be a small Kingdom who was living just for themself without much communication to the other kingdoms. But nobody even suspected just how much power they possessed. And how their kingdom was just a front to keep the special children safe from outside forces. 

The Special Knight Union always prioritized peace and if something or somebody was to destroy it, the Special Knight Union was there to set things right. So from a very young age Jiang Cheng, or more precisely Sandu (because that was what he was called now to protect his identity) was trained to use his powers probably and to be ready to protect everyone who needed protection and especially to keep the peace. 

Even if they were called knights their gear was really different from the typical knight. Instead of heavy metals and weapons the Special Knight Union was specialized in using whips and their gear was really lightweight so hiding and disappearing into nothingness was really easy. They also had to wear masks because they couldn’t risk to be found out and to be captured from people who seek too much power and control. Luckily his parents came to visit him quite often so he never felt alone. 

He also learned that he had an Aunt and Uncle Wei again in this world. Uncle Wei was the right hand man of his father but fell in love with his father’s sister. So seeing how happy his sister was his father gave them his blessings and the two of them eloped and became wandering knights, helping the people who needed helping. They soon had their son, Wei Ying, and they also found Wen Qing and Wen Ning and their family in this world. Together they wandered through villages and helped the people in need. 

‘So even in this world Wei Wuxian still wasn’t his brother, hm?’ 

Jiang Cheng thought to himself. It felt strange in the other world and even in this world it felt strange. Even if he really enjoyed the life of the other world he never expected to miss Wei Wuxian so much. They were always brothers but somehow in other worlds they weren’t? Was that why everything happened like it happened? Because it was never meant to be that they both would be brothers? But even if Jiang Cheng knew the answer it wouldn’t change anything. So he let the information be and tried to concentrate on his senses. 

He was lying on a bed again, but this time the bed was sturdier and harder. Sandu was sleeping and was really quiet. And even though his surroundings were really quiet, he couldn’t hear anything at all. So Jiang Cheng concentrated on his power that was in his blood. It wasn’t quite like his usual spiritual energy but it still was familiar. And then it hit him, this energy was the same energy that Zidian possessed! This thunder-like energy, he would recognize it everywhere! Finally he had something familiar within him! Oh how he missed it! 

He also learned that the children possessing this power did use it completely differently than he expected. Instead of using the energy through other things, like his sword, Zidian or different talismans, this power was used on their own body! They could produce thunder and rain just with a flick of a finger and they even could change their bodies to be light as a cloud and to disappear quickly. And the best part was that this gear was weapon proof, you couldn’t get stabbed or hurt as long as you wore your gear. How awesome was that? That was why their gear was really lightweight and the whips were helpful to control the thunder and lightning better. Jiang Cheng couldn’t wait to see this power in action! 

Suddenly Jiang Cheng heard a really quiet voice. 

“Wake up.” 

And Sandu instantly woke up and got ready. It was still dark but Jiang Cheng noticed that Sandu had a really good eyesight even in darkness. How awesome was that! Next to his bed his trainers were standing and Jiang Cheng couldn’t believe his eyes! Because even if their names were different, probably for protection, these two were the twins Jinzhu and Yinzhu! The last memory of them was a painful one so he was glad to meet them again. Even if they never interacted much, Jiang Cheng always felt protected because of them. And their death was as devastating as the other deaths he experienced. 

Jiang Cheng also noticed just how quickly Sandu got ready. One moment he was lying in his bed with his night gown on and now he was already wearing his full gear and was fully awake.

“Well done, well done!” 

Jinzhu said proudly while Yinzhu nodded. 

“You really improved over the years and I think you’re ready for your first task. Please come with us.” 

Yinzhu said. Sandu followed the twins while they pulled up their masks again and Jiang Cheng noticed just how skin-tight the gear was. He really had a feeling he was walking around naked. Luckily he also had a cloak on, the hood hiding his head while the mask was hiding the lower part of his face, so only his eyes were visible. But he still felt slightly uncomfortable, he felt so exposed. But he also noticed just how much freedom he had with his movements. 

They walked through different rooms and Jiang Cheng was just amazed how big every room was but also how difficult it was to navigate for someone who didn’t grow up here. They went through many hidden doors and rooms and finally they arrived at their destination. It was a small room and two figures with blindfolds were sitting in front of them. 

That was when Jiang Cheng remembered just how the people could ask the Special Knight Union for help. They had to activate a special talisman which was commonly known. To activate the talisman just one drop of blood was needed. And to protect the union from misuse of the talisman the talisman would only activate if the person was genuine and was telling the truth. There were so many people who tried different kinds of tricks to lure the union out but neither of them worked. If the one activating the talisman was genuine and telling the truth, the union would get a sign so they could go to the location. Every person calling genuinely for help were blindfolded, even their ears were covered and were brought to this special soundproof room. The number one rule was that if you were brought up to this room, you weren’t allowed to take off the blindfold. The Special Knights Union just couldn’t risk it. So Jiang Cheng didn’t recognize these people at first, even if they seemed familiar. 

“Please introduce yourself and explain your issue. Why do you need our help?” 

Jinzhu didn’t even say hello, she went straight to business. 

“My name is Lan Huan, crown prince of Gusu. This is my uncle Lan Qiren, second King of Gusu. Thank you so much for answering our call and for giving us the opportunity to ask for your help. My mother and father suddenly fell ill and a doctor, Doctor Wen, confirmed that they were poisoned. The blessing in disguise was that they didn’t consume much of the poison, probably noticing it in time, so they likely will wake up after a week. But that means that there are people in our palace who wished for our deaths. So we didn’t say anything, didn’t start an investigation and just said that my parents were on vacation so the killer didn’t get suspicious and tried to get away. Nobody except Doctor Wen and us know the truth. But all of this also means that our hands are tied and I’m afraid that the killer will try to attack my uncle and me next. Luckily my brother gave up his prince title and eloped with Young Master Wei, but I’m still afraid that even they will get targeted. So we kindly ask you to help us find the true killer and to keep my family safe.” 

Lan Xichen and even Lan Qiren were bowing down. Of course the statue of a man and Wei Wuxian would even find each other in this world again. And no, Jiang Cheng wasn’t feeling jealous. 

“Please get up, we will help you. Such a thing can really disturb the peace if handled wrong. Violet Spider and I will lead the investigation and we will do our best to find the killer. We also will send some of our knights to your brother, so he and his husband are safe, too. Your Majesty Lan Qiren you will be under the protection of Phoenix while Your Majesty, Lan Huan, will be under the protection of Sandu. And you don’t have to worry, you won’t notice that they are even there. Just go on with your daily routine like usual. We will work in the shadows, don’t worry.” 

Jiang Cheng thought his heart would stop. Just why was Lan Xichen here? He couldn’t forget their last meeting in the other world and his heart was beating faster and he was even yearning for more just thinking about it. And now he was his personal knight? Just why? But maybe this world will be different. Like Yinzhu said, they won’t even notice that they were nearby. Maybe he can just stay hidden and Lan Xichen wouldn’t even notice him. Phoenix walked over to Lan Qiren while Sandu walked over to Lan Xichen. 

“Please make sure that they are safe. Don’t forget - keeping the peace is the most important thing. If something happens you both know how to communicate with us. We will be in touch.” 

“Yes!” 

Both Phoenix and Sandu just said. Sandu then took the crown prince's hand while Phoenix took Lan Qiren's hand before they activated their power. One moment they were in the soundproof room and the next moment they were already in Gusu inside of the chamber of the crown prince. So this power even made teleportation possible? But Jiang Cheng also noticed just how much energy it took. Maybe that’s why they couldn’t use that as often and had to be cautious. 

“Don’t worry, we will be near. You can go on your day as usual.” 

Phoenix said to both Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen and before they even could say anything back or take off their blindfolds Phoenix and him had already disappeared into thin air. 

Sandu was of course nevertheless near the crown prince, following him like a shadow and observing his surroundings. And while Sandu was protecting the crown prince Jiang Cheng learned even more about these powers. Sandu didn’t need to eat food to survive, this power made it possible to go weeks without food. Even sleep wasn’t really necessary, Sandu could go for weeks without sleep. The only thing he needed was immersing himself once a day into water, so his energy could regenerate again. Of course it wasn’t possible to live this way for years and after a year his body still needed normal food and sleep but for missions like this it was really helpful. 

Jiang Cheng also realized that Sandu didn’t have to talk much and it was strangely calming just to exist and let everything else be. He could really get used to a life like this. He didn’t need to go on endless and useless meetings, didn’t have to reply to sects who were just outrageous with their demands, didn’t need to see the judging eyes or hear the whispers and rumors surrounding him. He just needed to exist and make sure that the peace was kept and the people were safe. 

So the next few days had a really similar pattern. Sandu would hide away while observing the crown prince closely while the crown prince would go on with his usual tasks. The crown prince would answer to his correspondence, would welcome the common folk and help them with their little disagreements and troubles, would go over the paperwork regarding the finances of the kingdom and would eat his meal with his uncle while talking about the things they did and they had to do. 

The next weeks were similar and Sandu didn’t have much to do. The king and queen were luckily already awake and hidden away in the Yu-Kingdom while the investigation was still running. Jiang Cheng really thought the killer wouldn’t show himself or had already disappeared. But Sandu was still on guard. He never lost sight of the crown prince, watching him closely. The only time he took his eyes away for a short while was on nights when the crown prince was sleeping and Sandu had to regenerate his powers. But it was never longer than a minute. 

But one day the mundane daily life of the crown prince changed. The Gusu Castle would be closed once a month and the common knowledge was that it was just a day off for the royal family. Jiang Cheng just thought that the crown prince would rest and spend his time with his family. But he never expected what he saw next. 

The crown prince was behaving suspiciously, looking left and right and then disappearing into a hidden room. Of course Sandu also made it into the room, always close to the crown prince. The hidden room was a room full of different kinds of toys, some gold and different kinds of dried foods. Just why was the crown prince hiding these things in this hidden room? 

The crown prince started to get undressed and Jiang Cheng had to close his eyes. His heart wasn’t ready to see a naked Lan Xichen! Luckily he heard quickly that the crown prince was changing into different clothes and slowly opened his eyes again. And he was really in shock because the crown prince was now wearing commoner clothes and started to pack some toys, food and gold into a big backpack. He put on a big straw hat with a veil and opened a hidden passage to the outside. Sandu followed him quietly as usual and observed the crown prince while they went further and further away from the castle. 

Jiang Cheng really wondered just where the crown prince would go. So imagine his surprise when the crown prince walked into an orphanage. 

“HUAN-GE!” 

The kids were shouting and giggling while jumping onto him and hugging him. A nun, probably the head of this orphanage, was smiling warmly at them. 

“Okay, okay kids let him go, I’m sure he will play with you soon!” 

The kids slowly stepped away from the crown prince and he had the biggest smile on his face. And Jiang Cheng was just awestruck. Seeing him with his dogs in A-Cheng's world was already too much but now this? Just why did he have to look so, so ARGH! Jiang Cheng really needed to calm down, what happened between A-Cheng and Huan didn’t concern him or didn’t have anything to do with him. That A-Cheng wasn’t him and that Huan wasn’t Lan Xichen so he shouldn’t feel this way about any versions of Lan Xichen. But just why was he still feeling like that? That even Sandus' heart was beating really fast didn’t help either. Jiang Cheng couldn’t differentiate his and Sandus' feelings anymore. He just hoped that all of this would be over soon. Maybe he just could forget about this day and live his life without knowing who the crown prince really was? 

“Thank you so much for always helping us out. The kids really love you and always ask when you will be back again.” 

The nun said to the crown prince. 

„Really, no problem at all. I love to spend time with them and I’m glad that I can at least help a little even if I wish that I could help more.” 

The crown prince said while handing the nun his full backpack. The nun put it thankfully away and both of them made their way deeper into the orphanage. Jiang Cheng watched while the crown prince played with the children, even helped them cook and ate with them. In no time it was late in the afternoon and the crown prince said his goodbyes and went back to the castle. On the way he saw some stray dogs and cats and gave them something to eat and drink and Jiang Cheng could just pull his hair out. Just why was the crown prince so nice? Normally people born with power were more selfish and wouldn’t give their treasures so freely. But him? Jiang Cheng just didn’t understand it but he could feel the growing fondness inside of Sandu. 

Oh no, not again. At least the last time A-Cheng and Huan were friends and spent some time with each other but in this world? It was just impossible. Just why why why was Sandu feeling this way? Jiang Cheng really hoped that these feelings were just some fleeting feelings, a moment of weakness, nothing more. 

Finally they made it back to the castle again and after a quick meal with his uncle the crown prince made his way back to his chambers. He got ready for bed and went to bed, leaving Jiang Cheng behind with these confusing feelings. 

Sandu waited some hours and after he was sure that the crown prince was sleeping he went to the adjoining bathroom. Luckily there was always a stone pit full of water so Sandu could always immerse himself in water to regenerate his powers. 

But today he stayed longer in the water than usually, maybe the day was just too long for him? Jiang Cheng could feel that Sandu wasn’t as calm as he used to, his heart was still beating fast and he felt the heat in his cheeks. Oh no, please no! But Jiang Cheng couldn’t do anything but to hope that these feelings would just disappear. Especially in this situation. The peace was in danger and they didn’t have time for these feelings. 

Sandu suddenly got out of the water and even Jiang Cheng felt it. Someone was watching him. Sandu quickly put on his gear again and made his way back to the crown prince's chambers, his senses working on overdrive, looking for an intruder. Luckily there wasn’t anyone and no signs that someone made their way to this room. Sandu checked on the crown prince again and noticed that his breath was quicker than it should be. Was he sick? Jiang Cheng felt the worry inside of Sandu and then Sandu did something he shouldn’t do. Sandu came nearer to the crown prince's side, walking quietly as usual and slowly reached his hand out to touch his forehead. Luckily it wasn’t warm, so maybe the crown prince was just having a bad dream. 

But before Sandu could take his hand back and disappear into the darkness again suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist and Sandu just froze. Not just because of the sudden touch but because now the crown prince was staring deep into his eyes. And Jiang Cheng felt his heart stop, just to beat even faster than before. The crown prince, the Lan Xichen of this world, still had his dark golden brown eyes, which seemed to shine under the moonlight. His long hair was falling down freely and even his nightgown was open in front, showing too much cleavage and skin. Luckily Sandu still reacted quickly and wrecked his wrist free, disappearing into the darkness again. Jiang Cheng didn’t know if he really heard it but he heard a quiet “Please wait!” before Sandu disappeared. But it didn’t matter, it was too risky. There was a killer after the Lan family and Sandu couldn’t just show his face. Sandu watched how the crown prince just sighed and went back to bed again. 

From that day on something drastically changed. Instead of ignoring and forgetting that Sandu was always following him, the crown prince started to try to talk to Sandu when they were alone. Of course the crown prince didn’t know where Sandu exactly was but he still talked loud and clearly enough so that Sandu understood every word. He first thought that the crown prince was talking to someone else or to himself but the way his questions were directed at Sandu it was clear as a sunny day that the crown prince was really talking to Sandu. 

The crown prince would ask him about his favorite foods, how he was, how he liked it here, if he needed anything, if they could eat together and and and. Sandu of course didn’t answer but it still didn’t help the growing feelings inside of him. Jiang Cheng became really frustrated and wished that the crown prince would just shut up and let him be, like in the beginning. Just why was he acting this way? And Jiang Cheng didn’t know how long this mission would go, the Special Knight Union still didn’t find any clues regarding the killer and the killer didn’t do anything else. 

Just when Jiang Cheng thought that this mission would go nowhere and that he would be stuck by the crown prince's side forever the communication channels between the Special Knight Union got activated and Jiang Cheng could hear Jinzhu's voice like she was talking directly into his head. 

“The killer still stays hidden and we still couldn’t find any clues. And it seems like just observing and staying hidden won’t get us really far. So Violet Scorpion and I came up with a plan. To discuss it any further I already sent a message to King Qiren and Crown Prince Huan to meet up at our secret base. Phoenix, Sandu, please make sure that both of them get there safely. Both of them will be waiting in the chambers of the crown prince at nine o’clock.” 

Phoenix and Sandu confirmed this and at nine o’clock and after the king and the crown prince put on a blindfold Sandu and Phoenix appeared in front of them. Sandu made sure that the crown prince really couldn’t see anything and covered his ears, before they teleported to the secret base. At the base Jinzhu and Yinzhu were already waiting for them. Sandu helped the crown prince to sit down at the chair and stood right beside him while Phoenix did the same with the king. 

“Thank you for coming on such short notice. Like both of you know, we still didn’t manage to find the killer. We don’t know if this person was satisfied because they think that they killed the king and queen or if they are waiting for another opportunity to kill the rest of the royal family. Violet Spider and I talked it through and we both came to the conclusion that the best way of finding the killer is to lure him out. And what is the best way to lure them out? To show them that the Gusu Kingdom is going to gain even more power. We hope that seeing that the kingdom is still flourishing the killer will get careless and try quickly to kill all of you for good. So the Gusu Kingdom will announce a big celebration and announcement - the betrothal of the crown prince of Gusu! And with none other than the second princess from the far away land Dongying! Making sure that Gusu even has political ties all over the world! Of course all of this will be a farce and the second princess won’t be the real princess from Dongying. Instead the supposed princess will be none other than Sandu. This is to ensure that the royal family is still safe even if the killer manages to get close to them. We already talked with the king and queen and they gave us their go for the plan. They are even going to announce the betrothal themselves, showing themself to the killer, and explaining that that was the reason why they were gone for so long. Sandu, please use your disguise skills to turn yourself into a really pretty princess, I believe in you that you can do this. The betrothal celebration is the day after tomorrow so your task for tomorrow is to stay in your disguise and to spend time with the crown prince not just from the shadows but actively on his side. Your interactions needed to seem more natural and like you know each other for some time so make sure to get your stories straight and act that way. We put everything you need into this bag.” 

Wait what? Sandu had to do WHAT? Did the gods really hate Jiang Cheng so much to make him suffer? Not only did he have to spend time with the crown prince alone, he also must do it while disguising himself as a princess? Just why?! Sandu just nodded and took the bag but Jiang Cheng noticed just how fast his heart was beating. And he could have sworn that the crown prince was grinning but he couldn’t be sure. After all parties agreed to this plan, Phoenix and Sandu brought the king and the crown prince back to their palace and disappeared into the darkness again. 

Jiang Cheng's thoughts were reeling. Just why did the universe do everything to bring them together? Jiang Cheng lived without a significant other his whole life, he didn’t need anyone, didn’t need the most eligible bachelor, he was happy being alone. Jiang Cheng didn’t need these confusing feelings and they were burdening him, making him afraid that he would have someone important again and he didn’t want that. He already lost so much, even more would finally break him and he couldn’t live on anymore. 

No, the best way was really to forget all of this. These versions of Lan Xichen and him weren’t themself, these were completely different people. He had to put distance between them and him, make sure his feelings were on check and he just couldn’t be influenced by other people's feelings. Okay, he could do this. He just stomped his feelings down, like he did with his grief and all of his other feelings. Anger helped him to go on and to forget everything else and even this time it won’t be different. Of course the empathy situation made it more difficult but Jiang Cheng survived more devastating things. He could do this. No more of these mushy and confusing feelings. 

The crown prince got ready for bed, wished Sandu a good night and went to sleep. And after making sure that the crown prince was sleeping, Sandu immersed himself in water to regenerate his powers and took his position again and observed the crown prince. And Jiang Cheng did his best to ignore these growing feelings inside of Sandu. 

The next day Sandu got ready even before the crown prince woke up. In the bag there was a beautiful violet dress, matching bag and shoes, some make up and accessories. Luckily the dress was designed in a way that he could still wear his gear without the cloak and mask so he would still be safe from attacks. So Sandu began to put the dress over his gear, did his hair and make-up and got ready just in time for the crown prince to wake up. Sandu didn’t want to scare him so he knocked before announcing himself. 

“Your Majesty, I’m coming in now.” 

What Sandu didn’t think of and what even Jiang Cheng forgot was that he wasn’t hidden anymore, he couldn’t move freely anymore without someone noticing him and that the crown prince could see him. And maybe he really should have waited till the prince had asked him to come in but it was now too late. Because of course Sandu just barged in when the crown prince was in the middle of changing and was now staring in shock, topless and with a gown in his hand and Sandu just froze. And even Jiang Cheng couldn’t look away, there was so much skin, all lean muscles and just so perfect that Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but stare. 

Sandu and the crown prince were staring at each other like both of them just saw a ghost but luckily Sandu reacted fast and quickly turned away. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t just barge into your room like that, Your Majesty.” 

Jiang Cheng heard some steps behind him and knew that the crown prince closed the distance between them. 

“Please, don’t worry. And please call me Huan, we have to act close, remember?” 

Sandu slowly turned around but was shocked that the crown prince was still shirtless and covered his eyes with his hands really fast. 

“Please Your Majesty- I mean Huan please put something on.” 

Jiang Cheng was mortified and felt how fast Sandu's heart was beating and how hot his face got. The gods must really hate him! Just why did he keep getting into these kinds of situations? And just why was the crown prince acting this way? Jiang Cheng heard how the crown prince breathed out a laugh and finally he heard how the crown prince got dressed. Sandu slowly peaked through his hands and Jiang Cheng was glad that the crown prince was fully dressed. 

“Your disguise is really good by the way. You look really beautiful like that, it really suits you!” 

Jiang Cheng has become mortified! Just how can the crown prince say these things so easily? Sandu was looking at him like a fish out of water and became just speechless. But he managed to gather himself and gain his composure again. 

“Your Majesty, please stop with the jokes, we have more important things to do. So please let’s get on with this.” 

Sandu said and made his way to the work desk of the crown prince. 

“Okay, okay you win.” 

The crown prince grinned, putting his hands up like saying “I give up” while following Sandu. 

“And I already said it before, you need to call me Huan, not Your Majesty. We are engaged, remember?” 

The crown prince waggled his eyebrows while taking a seat opposite of Sandu. Was the crown prince drunk? Why was he so shameless? Jiang Cheng never saw Lan Xichen act that way! Maybe the whole killer situation finally made him crazy? Because why else would the crown prince talk that way?! Sandu just stared at the crown prince with a blank stare and didn’t say anything. Jiang Cheng saw how the crown prince started to fidget and looked a little uncomfortable. 

“Okay, okay I’ll stop. But still you have to call me Huan or else the killer will know that all of this is a farce.” 

Sandu just breathed in and out and tried to calm his beating heart. And even Jiang Cheng could just pull his hair out. What was this situation?! He really hoped that they would find the killer soon and that Jiang Cheng could disappear into the darkness again. 

“Okay Huan, let’s just get this over with and soon we can go our separate ways again. Do you have something to say or any questions? If not, I suggest that you go on with your day as usual and I follow you like usual but with the difference of course that you can see me now.” 

“I’m afraid it will not be so simple to fake our betrothal this way. You realize we have to act like we’re in love? How can we do that when we go on like usual?” 

The crown prince raised an eyebrow. 

“So my suggestion is: Let’s get each other better first and get used to little touches and these kinds of things. I don’t even know what I should call you! I could call you Sandu but I don’t think that is a very fitting name for a princess. So, what would you like to be called?” 

Jiang Cheng was surprised but of course the crown prince was right. They had to act like lovers to finally find the killer. But he had the feeling that he would die from embarrassment before they could even find the killer. Sandu was staring at the crown prince with a blank stare again and was thinking this over. Finally he nodded. 

“You are of course right.” 

Jiang Cheng saw how the crown prince let go a breath of relief. 

“You can call me Cheng. Should we think about a story of how we met or do you think that won’t be necessary?” 

Jiang Cheng was shocked. Just why was giving Sandu his real name away so freely? Did he think that it didn’t matter anyway? 

“Cheng, it’s really a beautiful name.” 

The crown prince smiled warmly. Before Sandu could even react, he talked again. 

“Hm, our kingdom always believed in real love and our family was always against arranged marriages. That’s why my parents allowed my brother to elope with Young Master Wei because they saw that he had found his soulmate. And the happiness of our family members were always more important than some titles or treasures. So I think we should think about how we met and fell in love or my people won’t believe it. How about this? On a diplomatic visit to Dongying I was wandering alone around the castle and couldn’t find my way back again. And while searching for my way back I came across a big garden and you were standing there, looking at the beautiful flowers. I fell in love with you at first sight and after striking a conversation with you we noticed just how much we had in common and we both knew we wanted to spend our lives together. So when I came back I told my parents that I wanted to ask for your hand in marriage and that is why they went away to discuss a marriage proposal while I stayed here and looked over our kingdom. How does that sound?”

Jiang Cheng had to snort. Just how sappy was this story? But it was really typical of Lan Xichen. Even if he never got to know Lan Xichen in his world, Huan also liked these kinds of stories, always insisting on watching some kind of romance story so Jiang Cheng was sure that even Lan Xichen liked these kinds of stories in secret. It was endearing and horrifying at the same time. Just how can somebody be so cute and hot at the same time?! And it really didn’t help Jiang Cheng's real feelings. And somehow this story really seemed familiar and Jiang Cheng had a feeling he needed to remember something, but he couldn’t. Sandu was smiling gently and the crown prince was just staring at him. 

“You should smile more, it really suits you.” 

He said softly and Sandu instantly put on a scowl. Was Lan Xichen always this shameless?! 

“Stop teasing me. Like I said, we have more important things to do.” 

Sandu breathed in and out, but his heart was still beating fast. He put on a neutral face again. 

“So that’s our backstory. Do we have to talk about more things or is this enough?” 

“Hm, not really, but I would like to get to know you better. I finally have a chance to talk to you face to face instead of just talking to a wall.” 

The crown prince smiled warmly at Sandu and took his hand and Jiang Cheng thought his heart would stop and explode. Sandu froze again and they both stared at each other for a moment before Sandu pulled his hand free of the crown prince's hold. 

“You know I can’t talk about myself. Even showing myself like this to you is really dangerous. The only reason we can talk face to face is because it is necessary and because I’m in a disguise now. I don’t know what you hope for or why you want to know so much about me but I hope you know that after we find the killer we won’t meet each other again. It will be like we never even met. So I don’t think it’s necessary to get to know each other.” 

The crown prince really looked like a kicked puppy and Jiang Cheng really hated that. But Sandu was right, these feelings were really dangerous especially in a situation like this. So this was really the right and only way to put a stop on them. And after tomorrow they wouldn’t meet again. It was for the best but why was Jiang Cheng feeling so sad? And why was Sandu feeling sad, too? 

“Of course, you’re right. I’m sorry I crossed the line. How about we just spend the rest of the day together, get used to each other’s company and presence? And by the way, you should get used to holding my hand and being near me, it won’t do if you pull away, hm?” 

The crown prince smirked at Sandu and pulled him up by his hand. Okay never mind, the crown prince can go to hell! Such shamelessness should be forbidden! 

The rest of the day was similar to the other days but with Sandu on the crown prince's side of course everyone was curious. And of course some rumors about their betrothal already started even before the king and queen announced it. Speaking of, they both were already on their way here again. The servants of course knew of the betrothal already, making sure that everything was prepared for tomorrow. Sandu and the crown prince were now seeing the common folk, helping them with their problems like usual. 

But the atmosphere today was different than usual and Jiang Cheng noticed how every one of them tried to glance in his direction. He guessed that everyone was just curious and it wasn’t as bad as in his world. But still, Jiang Cheng just didn’t like all of this attention. And also surprising was that the crown prince was asking Sandu for his advice. Jiang Cheng really thought that the crown prince just let him be, it wasn’t necessary to involve Sandu. He would disappear soon anyway. So just why was the crown prince so adamant about his opinions? 

Luckily, most of the common folk were already gone, except a little family of three. The mother looked really distraught and her baby was crying so much that it already lost its voice. 

“Your Majesty, I’m sorry for coming to you with an unusual problem. But I just didn’t know where else to go. My poor baby just can’t stop crying. We tried anything, we fed her, tried to help her fall asleep and even went to a doctor but it all didn’t help. We just hoped that maybe if you could hold her she would stop crying?” 

The mother was bowing really low, trying her best to hold it together. Jiang Cheng could hear the desperation in her voice and he just felt so sorry for her. 

“Please, stand up. Of course, I will do anything to help.” 

The crown prince reached out for the baby and took her into his arms. The baby was unfortunately still crying and Jiang Cheng couldn’t hold back anymore and wanted to help. It reminded him too much of A-Ling and it hurt him so much. He already missed his nephew so much and this wasn’t helping. Luckily it seemed like Sandu felt the same way. 

“Can I try something?” 

He asked with a higher voice. All three of them just stared at him and the crown prince just smiled and turned to the parents. 

“Would that be okay with you?” 

He asked the parents. 

“Of course, of course!” 

The parents said while bowing. Sandu took the baby into his arms and started to examine her. He released just a small amount of his energy, searching for a disturbance and finally found it around her head. Even if the Special Knight Union didn’t specialize in medicine, they could detect disturbances all over a body and smooth them. And sometimes, like here, some imbalances in the world energy got manifested in the body’s of random people and only an influx of the opposite energy could make it disappear. So Sandu patted the baby’s head, hiding the fact he was releasing a small amount of his energy, and smiled down at the baby. After a short while the baby finally stopped crying and was looking at Sandu with big eyes. The parents let out a breath of relief and started to cry happy tears. Sandu quickly made sure that all of the disturbance was neutralized and gave the baby back to her parents. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Young Mistress!” 

The parents were crying and bowing at Sandu. 

“Please, you don’t need to bow, I didn’t do anything!” 

Sandu dismissed their thank you’s and waved with his hands. 

“Ah, maybe your beauty was just enough to make her stop crying my dear A-Cheng?”

The crown prince grinned at him, took his hand and kissed the back of his hand. Shameless, shameless Lan Xichen! Sandu blushed hard and tried to take back his hand but the crown prince was gripping it really hard. 

“Thank you so much for your help, my love.” 

He smiled at Sandu and Jiang Cheng knew he would die just here and then, because his heart skipped a beat again. The small family was looking at them with curiosity and interest and smiling at them. 

“Your Majesty, she is really an amazing person. Please make sure to never let her go.” 

The mother said warmly and both her and her husband thanked and bowed to them again before they were gone. Jiang Cheng just wanted to disappear. Just why was it that everyone wanted to bring them two together? Was this his punishment? Just how long would this go? He really couldn’t take it anymore! 

“You’re really too much!” 

Sandu whispered harshly at the crown prince and was scowling at him. The crown prince just grinned and teased him even further 

“Oh, my dear A-Cheng, I’m just telling the truth. And if I’m too much, doesn’t that mean you will have more than enough of me till the rest of our lives?” 

He wiggled his eyebrows and Sandu became mortified. But Jiang Cheng couldn’t blame him, he also was just mortified. Jiang Cheng always thought that Lan Xichen was the most polite and wise person that there is. Always with a friendly distance and neutral stance in conflicts. Was this shameless side of the crown prince a side that the Lan Xichen of his world also possessed? Jiang Cheng couldn’t imagine it but somehow it fit nevertheless. It was really endearing and painful to see the different sides of Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng was falling even harder and harder for him. 

Just at that moment the king and queen entered the grand hall and Sandu didn’t have time to react to the crown prince's words. The crown prince broke into a big smile and ran down to his parents, hugging them tight. 

“Mother, father, I missed you so much!” 

The king was patting his head while the queen was hugging them even closer. 

“Oh my dear A-Huan, thank you for holding the position while we were away. You did an amazing job.” 

His father praised him. 

“Ah don’t mention it, I’m just glad that you both are okay!” 

The crown prince was waving with his hand in a dismissive manner. Sandu was still standing a little further away and didn’t know what to do. Should he go over? Should he wait? But he didn’t have to make a decision because the king and queen were already walking over to him, the crown prince following them. 

“You must be Sandu. Thank you so much for protecting our son and our kingdom.” 

The queen said and both the king and queen were now bowing to him. Sandu felt really uncomfortable and even for Jiang Cheng this was too much. 

“Your Highness, please you don’t have to thank me or bow to me, I’m just doing the job I have to do. We all want to live in peace, don’t we?” 

The king and queen came up from their bow again and were observing him while smiling warmly at him. 

“You look really beautiful by the way and I’m sure you already stole many hearts from our people. Am I right, A-Huan?” 

The queen was teasing him and Sandu was looking at her like a fish out of water. Was all of the royal family just this shameless? 

“Didn’t I say it as well? You really look beautiful. But I would close your mouth or you could accidentally swallow a fly my dear and we don’t want that, do we?” 

The crown prince said while tipping Sandus' chin with his index finger. Just what was wrong with this family?! Before Sandu could even react the king talked. 

“I would love to talk like this more but we have to announce the betrothal soon. Our folk are already waiting for us!” 

They all followed the king to the big balcony where you could see the whole kingdom. The crown prince offered his arm to Sandu and Sandu didn’t have any other choice but to take it and clasp it. Jiang Cheng could already hear and see the masses of people waiting excitedly for them. The king raised a hand and the crowd became silent. 

“Thank you so much for coming here. As you know, my dear queen and I were away for some time. The reason was for a special occasion. We went to Dongying because our dear A-Huan found his special someone, the second princess of Dongying! We of course support this union and we are sure our future will be bright with such a wonderful princess by our son’s side!” 

Sandu and the crown prince stepped forward and bowed deep and the crowd was cheering for them. Sandu felt really nervous, he was always in the shadows, never this public and even Jiang Cheng became nervous with so much attention. But the reassuring caress of the crown prince's thumb on his thumb was really calming. And then he heard it, the whirring of an arrow aiming at them. Sandu quickly located the location, noticed a hooded figure on top of one of the palace towers and gave this information to the twins through the communication channel. He quietly stepped in front of the crown prince, protecting him from the arrow and waiting for the twins to catch the killer. His gear would protect him from it and he wouldn’t get hurt. 

But what he didn’t expect was that the crown prince noticed his movements and the arrow and before Sandu could even react the crown prince quickly switched their places, the arrow piercing through his body. For Sandu it felt like time was passing slowly. The crown prince slumped into Sandus arm and Jiang Cheng felt the blood dripping down from the crown prince's wound. Okay now he was afraid. Was he really going to lose him like this? No, no he couldn’t handle it. He needed Lan Xichen damn it! Jiang Cheng's heart was crying in pain and he felt how Sandu began to tremble and looked at his hand, which was covered in the crown prince's blood. Jiang Cheng just heard some white noise, his whole senses just concentrated on Lan Xichen. 

Suddenly Sandu woke up from his shock, carried the crown prince into his arms in princess style and before he could even hear what the king and queen were saying he was running inside and teleporting both of them to the secret base of the Special Knight Union. 

Finally they arrived in Sandu's room, Sandu noticed how much of a toll the teleportation took on him and he knew he would get in trouble for taking an outsider inside the base. But the only thing he could think of was to save the crown prince. Jiang Cheng was so glad that Sandu was doing something, because his hands were tied and he could just watch as more and more blood were spilled from the wound. He prayed for the crown princes survival, he had to live, he couldn’t die like this. 

Sandu quickly put the crown prince into his bed and tore off the garments and examined the wound. Luckily it just missed the crown princes heart and lungs but it was still deep and he had lost too much blood. Sandu’s hand hovered over the wound and he started to transfer his energy to replace the blood and to close the wound. He knew it was dangerous, he had already used too much energy for the quick transportation but Sandu just had to save the crown prince. 

Jiang Cheng noticed just how weaker and weaker Sandu got but he didn’t stop. And Jiang Cheng could understand him. He of course noticed how important the crown prince became for Sandu, these growing feelings were hard to ignore. Of course he would do anything to rescue him, Jiang Cheng would have done the same. 

“Sandu.” 

Jinzhu called him but Sandu didn’t look up. He knew that he was in trouble but he couldn’t let go of the crown prince, his life was more important. He would take any punishment at a later time. Jinzhu stepped closer and put a hand on Sandu's shoulder. 

“Sandu, please. You won’t last like this. Let us take over and go recover your energy. You can come back after it, okay? We make sure that nothing else will happen to him.” 

Sandu looked up slowly and Jiang Cheng could see the worry in her eyes. Sandu just nodded and slowly stood up. His legs felt like jelly and he could barely keep himself up. But he still went to his adjoining bathroom quickly and immersed himself in water again. He needed to stay longer because he used too much of his energy but finally his energy was fully regenerated again. He put on his normal gear again, but without his mask and cloak. 

Back in his room Jinzhu was still transferring her energy while Yinzhu was bringing something to eat for them. Sandu quickly returned to the crown prince's side, taking his hand, and he was glad that some color returned to his face. 

“Eat something, you didn’t have anything to eat the last few weeks.” 

Sandu just nodded and took a small sip from the soup but he just couldn’t stomach it. He pushed the bowl aside and was looking at the crown prince again and taking his hand again. Jiang Cheng heard a sight next to him but Sandu didn’t budge. 

“You know that you caused us a lot of trouble?“

Yinzhu asked. Sandu just nodded. 

“You can punish me as hard and as many times as you want. But please make sure that Huan will survive this.” 

A tense silence followed where nobody said anything. Yinzhu just sighed again. 

“We luckily got the killer. It was a former member of the nobility of the Gusu Kingdom, who had a small kingdom south from Gusu now. The king and queen even helped him to build his own kingdom but it wasn’t enough for him. That’s why he wanted the royal family dead. He didn’t even try to deny it. The Union took care of him and the king and queen assured the people that everything was alright. Luckily nobody saw the crown prince getting shot directly, the people think he just fainted from excitement and that his princess carried him back to let him rest. But all of this could’ve ended really bad because of your recklessness. Just because you were lucky now doesn’t mean you will always be this lucky.” 

Jiang Cheng heard anger in Yinzhu’s voice but also the worry. He heard her breathing in and out again. 

“The king, queen, our elder, your parents, Jinzhu and I had an emergency meeting together to talk about your future. The king and queen noticed how much you mean for their son. Of course now everyone knows, seeing how he tried to protect you. The Lans are famous for loving just once and if they meet their significant other they won’t let them go. So the king and queen asked for your hand in marriage, for real this time. We of course also noticed his, but especially your growing feelings. But we thought that it was just fleeting feelings, born from special circumstances. But seeing how you act with each other it was clear that these feelings were deeper than we thought. So we came up with two suggestions. The decision is yours. The first suggestion is: You deny the proposal, come back to the Special Knight Union and go undercover for some time. You won’t be able to see the crown princes ever again and both of you have to act like nothing happened and go your separate ways. But you can stay here and be still a member of the Special Knight Union. The second suggestion is: You accept the proposal and go back with the crown prince to his home. You won’t be able to return to the Special Knight Union and you have to always be in disguise when you go out. We just can’t risk it. Your identity still needs to stay hidden. But of course you don’t have to wear the disguise all the time. In your private rooms you can take it off as long as just the crown prince can see you. But you won’t be able to use your powers so freely again and we won’t be able to see each other as often as we do now. So, which one do you choose?”

Sandu was now staring and Yinzhu in shock and even Jiang Cheng was surprised. He always thought he never had a choice, he always had to be something since the day of his birth. He never chose to be the sect heir or sect leader, never chose to lead a sect or to build it again. But he did it anyway because it was expected from him. But now he was allowed to choose? But Jiang Cheng knew that Sandu would choose the Union. He couldn’t be selfish and he knew that Sandu was thinking the same thing. 

“But what about our mission? What about our Union? I can’t just choose to leave all of this behind. World peace is more important than any desire or feelings I have. I just can’t leave you all alone.” 

Jiang Cheng felt the tears gathering in Sandus' eyes. Yinzhu and Jinzhu smiled warmly at him and Yinzhu took a seat beside him. She started to pat his head and caress his cheeks. 

“We all want you to be happy. Be it on our side or on his. Please don’t give up something important because you think that’s something you have to do. Choose for yourself. And either way, if you want to see us again you can just call us like the common folk. It won’t be difficult, okay?” 

Tears were streaming down Sandu's face and he pulled Yinzhu and Jinzhu into a hug. Luckily Jinzhu already transferred enough energy to the crown prince so he could pull her easily into a hug, too. 

“We will miss you, our little angry grape, but we know that you will be happy with him.”

Jinzhu said warmly and padded his back. Sandu just cried into their arms and the twins just held him tight. 

“Thank you so much for giving me so much and for helping me find my happiness.” 

Sandu said while letting go of the hug. 

“Of course, anything for you. And please remember: No matter what, you can always count on us.” 

Jinzhu smiled at him, wiping away some stray tears. Even Yinzhu was really emotional. 

“His condition isn’t as bad as we thought, thanks to you. His wound is closed now and he has enough blood again. He just needs to sleep his exhaustion away and then everything should be okay. We both leave you guys alone now, you can tell him the good news when he wakes up.” 

Jinzhu grinned at him and both of them left the room, leaving Sandu and the crown prince alone. Sandu took the crown prince's hand again, sat down on the floor and laid his head into the bed. It didn’t take long and he fell asleep. 

Jiang Cheng was shocked. Just why was it that these versions of him were allowed to choose their way of life, while he was bound to responsibility and other obligations? Just why were they allowed to live happily while he had to live with his guilt and grief? Just why were the gods so unfair? 

But of course, Jiang Cheng nearly forgot. These versions didn’t do anything bad, didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t have too many skeletons hidden inside of his closet. They deserved all of this love and he didn’t. 

But he would get through this. He managed to survive the massacre of his sect, he raised A-Ling all by himself. While the other sects formed their brotherhood, he managed to get strong all by himself. He was always alone and he managed it just fine. He didn’t need anybody by his side, didn’t need Lan Xichen by his side. And even if he was starting to yearn for him, to wish things would be different he would trample on these feelings with his anger and would survive this. He survived much worse and this punishment wouldn’t break him. 

After some time had passed Jiang Cheng felt how someone was caressing Sandu's hand. Sandu of course quickly woke up and was looking at an awake crown prince, who was smiling at him warmly. 

“You’re awake.” 

Sandu breathed out. 

“Of course, such a thing won’t kill me, I’m quite sturdy! Aw, were you worried about me? You like me, don’t you?” 

The crown prince grinned and teased Sandu. Sandu's anger was rising quickly and dangerously. 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND? YOU COULD HAVE DIED AND YOU’RE JOKING AROUND?! IT IS NOT FUNNY! DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW WORRIED EVERYONE WAS, HOW WORRIED I WAS?! I AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU, MY GEAR IS WEAPON PROOF BUT YOU HAD TO BE THIS STUPID AND PROTECT ME! I ALREADY WAS BEING PROTECTED, I WOULD HAVE COME OUT OF THIS UNHARMED BUT YOU? YOU COULD HAVE DIED!” 

Sandu noticed how his tears were gathering in his eyes and quickly turned away. He didn’t want to cry in front of the crown prince. He heard some rustling behind him and suddenly he was enveloped into a hug and the crown prince was pressing himself against his back, his head resting on Sandu's shoulder. Sandu froze but didn’t pull away. 

“I’m sorry I caused you so much worry. But I would’ve done it anyway. I didn’t think, my body just moved on its own. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. You are too important to me and I just can’t live without you. Can’t you just turn around? I don’t want to talk behind your back, I want to see your face.” 

The crown prince said in a small voice. 

“No.” 

Sandus' voice was trembling but he just couldn’t turn around. Surely he looked like a mess and he didn’t want the crown prince to see him like that. 

“Please, for me?” 

The crown prince pleaded and Sandu just couldn’t say no to that. So he slowly turned around and the crown prince cupped his cheeks and brushed the tears away. 

“I’m really sorry I never wanted to see you cry like this. I want to see you happy, to be by your side forever. And I just can’t hold it in anymore, not after today, not when I nearly lost you.” 

The crown prince was deeply looking into Sandus' eyes. 

“Can you give me the honor to ask for your hand in marriage? I know you said that you have to go back to your Union and that you can’t just throw all of that away. But I just can’t imagine my life without you. I want to sleep and wake up next to you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I searched for you for the whole of my life, I just can’t let you go. I love you, A-Cheng, my dear A-Cheng. So please be by my side forever and marry me?” 

The crown prince sounded nervous and Sandu just laughed and cried happy tears before he pulled the crown prince into a tight hug. 

“You’re such a dumbass. Your parents already asked for my hand in marriage for you. They even talked with my parents and my elder and they let me choose what I wanted to do. And of course I chose you. I feel the same way, I can’t live without you.” 

Jiang Cheng felt the crown prince's tears on his shoulder. 

“Thank you so much for choosing me. You won’t regret it, I promise!” 

They both hugged for a while, giving each other comfort before they let go of the hug. 

“Before I forget, my choice comes with conditions. I can’t show my face to anyone else except you so I have to stay in disguise when we’re going out. And nobody else is allowed to know my real identity. Is that alright with you?” 

Sandu anxiously asked. 

“Ah, what a shame, I won’t see your true and even more beautiful face all the time? But thinking more about it, it's not so bad, isn’t it? Just I alone get to know just how wonderful you are! Just I will know your true self, isn’t that just wonderful? Of course it’s alright with me, anything just to have you by my side!” 

The crown prince grinned while kissing the back of Sandus' hand. Sandu just rolled his eyes and smiled. The crown prince was really just impossible. 

“Your smile is really beautiful, it wakes a different kind of desire in me. I know it may be sudden but can I kiss you? I just can’t believe you’re really here and I've wanted to kiss you for a long time now.” 

Sandu just stared at the crown prince and blushed really hard. 

Oh no, not again! Okay, Jiang Cheng would just close his eyes and maybe the same thing like last time would happen. Maybe he wouldn’t even feel it. Sandu just nodded and Jiang Cheng just saw how the crown prince was coming nearer before closing his eyes. And like the last time before he even could feel the kiss he was already pushed out of Sandus body again, floating on top of Sandu and the crown prince. He just saw how the crown prince pressed Sandu down to the bed while kissing him before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen opened his eyes and just darkness welcomed him. He was confused at first. Just what happened again? And then he remembered it again, everything that happened with A-Huan and Cheng and all of his feelings. Wasn’t he just at Cheng's side? Where was he now? It still felt like empathy but this body felt a little different than A-Huans. Lan Xichen sighed. Wasn’t he even allowed to experience love in that way? Just why must the gods take everything from him? 

And like the gods wanted to punish him for these words Lan Xichen started to get a really bad headache and many pictures and information were purred into his head. Lan Xichen endured the pain and waited till it was over and he could sort the information he got. Finally the influx of information stopped and Lan Xichen's heart nearly jumped out of his heart. Because he already met the Jiang Cheng of this world! And he luckily noticed that this Lan Xichen was already really attracted to him! But the down side was that after that one meeting he never met with this world’s Jiang Cheng again anymore. Lan Xichen was detected but he wouldn’t give up. He was sure that fate would bring them together again! So the best thing he could do now was to sort through the information he got. 

He was still Lan Huan in this world and he was 21 years old. He still had his brother, his uncle and his parents. But everything else was different. There were still no sects and still no spiritual energy, but there were different kingdoms instead. His parents were the king and queen of the Gusu Kingdom while his uncle was the second king of this kingdom. Wangji had already found Young Master Wei in this world and he gave up his prince title to be with him. 

Even if Lan Xichen was glad that his brother gained his happiness again, he still missed his brother. In the world of Huan they barely met and he missed spending time with his brother. But he couldn’t be selfish, Wangji's happiness was the most important thing. So Lan Huan was the only crown prince of Gusu now, already taking over tasks he had to do as a future king and helping his father out. And his uncle was always by his side.

After that he tried to pierce together the information of the first and only meeting with this world’s Jiang Cheng. Lan Huan was very little when they met, maybe six or seven years old. He accompanied his father on a diplomatic visit to the Yunmeng Kingdom, where his father wanted to talk about some trade agreements with King Jiang. They were welcomed into a big hall and the king invited them into his study. Lan Huan of course wanted to appear very exemplary and diligent but he got bored fast. He still had a perfect posture but he started to fidget with his fingers. His father of course noticed that and turned to him, smiling gently at him. 

“Why don’t you take a walk and explore this castle a little bit, hm? Of course if that’s okay with you, Fengmian.” 

The king was laughing a little. 

“Of course! But please just stay inside of this building. If you need anything you can of course ask the servants, they will gladly help you.” 

Lan Huan thanked them and bowed to them before standing up and leaving the study. He was glad he could finally walk and move his legs again. He started to walk around the castle, appreciating the different works of art and the different structures of this place. He was so deep into his thoughts and admiring this place that he didn’t notice that he got lost. He didn’t remember how to get back anymore and he became afraid. But then he heard some rustling and saw someone in the gardens, kneeling down and looking at the flowers. It seemed like it was a little kid. Maybe they could help him to get back? 

“Excuse me?” 

He called out and the kid got scared and was looking at him now with his big eyes. Lan Huan noticed this little kid wanted to run away, so he acted fast and grabbed him lightly. But he regretted it instantly because this kid flinched hard so he let go of him. 

“Please don’t be afraid, I’m not going to do something bad! I just lost my way and I don’t know how to get back to my father. They’re in the study of the king, can you help me to get there?” 

The kid was staring at him with his big eyes and it seemed like he froze. Lan Huan waved with his hand in front of the kid's face and that seemed to wake him up again. He was observing Lan Huan intensely and Lan Huan started to fidget under his stare. Did he do something wrong? After a short while the kid looked away again. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t leave this place here.” 

He said with a small voice. Lan Huan was surprised. He first thought that this kid was a servant's son, but his clothes were made from expensive material. And this kingdom didn’t have any nobility living inside this castle, the nobility all had their own homes. As far as he knew the king and queen from Yunmeng had just one child, a daughter who was away in the Jin Kingdom at the moment. So who was this kid? Maybe he was lost, too? And maybe thought the best way for his parents to find him again was to stay here? 

“Please don’t apologize, it’s okay! Can I spend some time with you? I’m sure my father will come looking for me soon so I don’t want to walk even further away.” 

The little kid just nodded shyly and both of them enjoyed the different kinds of flowers. This was really a beautiful garden and there was even a lotus pond in the middle of it. After a while Lan Huan noticed that the kid wasn’t as tense as before. 

“My name is Huan, what’s your name?” 

He asked quietly. The kid turned around and was staring at him with his intense eyes again. It seemed like he was thinking about something and making a decision. 

“My name is Cheng.” 

“Cheng, what a beautiful name! So Cheng, what’s your favorite flower?” 

But instead of answering him, Cheng just took Huan's hand and walked with him over the lotus pond. He pointed at the lotus blossoms and they were really beautiful. And after that they started to talk more and more and Huan noticed how comfortable Cheng got after a while. They talked about the things they like to do in their free time, about their families, about their favorite animals and all kinds of other things. And Huan grew even more and more fond of this person. 

He didn’t know it at that time but that was the beginning of his first and only love. Huan learned that Cheng was the second child of the king and queen and he was surprised because he was sure that nobody knew of his existence. Just what was the reason? He also learned that Cheng was really fond of dogs, that he loved his family so much and that he wishes to be strong so he can protect the important people in his life. 

And Huan started to talk about himself, too. About his little brother and how he was worried that he wouldn’t make any friends because he was so shy, about his loving parents and uncle, about the kind people who were helping him all day long. He talked about the little bunnies they had in their garden and how he liked to feed them, about the stray cats and dogs he saw on the streets and how he smuggled some food to them. And Huan never talked about these kinds of things with anyone else but he had a feeling he could talk about anything with Cheng. He didn’t even notice how late it got but he was sure his father was already looking for him. 

“It’s getting late, I really should try to find my way back. I’m sure my father is already looking for me. It was really nice to talk to you, Cheng, I hope we meet each other again!” 

Huan smiled at Cheng. He noticed that Cheng was staring at him again and it seemed like he was debating with himself again. So Huan waited patiently till Cheng spoke. It seemed like Cheng came to a decision. 

“I can take you back to my father’s study if you want. But you have to trust me and promise me you won’t tell anybody that you saw me. Because I’m actually not allowed to talk with strangers. Can you promise me that?” 

Cheng seemed really serious. 

“Of course I promise!” 

Huan immediately agreed. Cheng nodded and took Huan's hand. And then something amazing happened. In one moment they were still in the garden and in the next moment they were already in the study of King Jiang. Unfortunately they appeared above the big table and fell really hard on it and his father and the king just froze. 

“Ouch!” 

Huan said while patting his behind. He looked around and saw Cheng lying beside him. But he wasn’t waking up. 

“Cheng, we are here so you can wake up.” 

He shook Cheng lightly but Cheng still didn’t open his eyes. Huan started to get worried and tried to wake him up again. 

“Cheng? Cheng! Please wake up!” 

He started to panic but before he could act even further his father already pulled him into his arms while King Jiang did the same with Cheng and started to examine him. The king called for assistance through a special talisman and Huan's father pressed Huan's face into his chest. 

“Fengmian, this...” 

His father started to say but he was just speechless. Huan heard a sigh. 

“Luckily only you and I were in this room. I must beg you, as a long time ally and friend. Please you must swear for total secrecy. This is my second child and I’m sure you realized why we couldn’t announce his birth. Normally he wouldn’t even be here but my wife and I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. But maybe that was just a naive thought. I’m glad that your son was the one who found him but it just shows me that he can’t stay here anymore.” 

Lan Huan heard a whoosh-sound and he was sure that Cheng was taken away. 

“Is it my fault?” 

Huan asked, his voice trembling and tears gathering in his eyes, into his father's chest. His father loosened his grip and looked down to him, smiling warmly and patting his head. 

“Oh my little prince, of course it wasn’t your fault.“ 

“And please don’t worry about A-Cheng, he will get better soon, he just needs some rest, okay?” 

The king walked over and patted his head, too, while smiling warmly at him. 

“But does that mean I can’t see him anymore?” 

Huan’s voice trembled. His father and the king exchanged a look. 

“I’m afraid not. You see, Cheng has a really important job to do. But to do this job, he needs to stay hidden, so bad people can’t take him away. So you also have to promise me to keep his existence a secret, okay my little prince?” 

“I promise.” 

Huan said but he just felt sad. He met someone so wonderful and he couldn’t meet him anymore? It was just so unfair! But he was sure that they would meet again, Huan would make sure of it! 

So that’s how these two met here? And this world’s Jiang Cheng had special powers? The energy surrounding him felt really familiar to Lan Xichen and then he remembered again - he felt that same energy when Jiang Cheng from his world rescued him. It was a bittersweet feeling and even for that he felt regret. Jiang Cheng could have just ignored him but even if they didn’t have any close relationship he still rescued him. 

And what did he do? Got angry at him and even had a breakdown in front of him. Jiang Cheng must have thought that he went crazy or something. Was their relationship even fixable? Lan Xichen really shouldn’t think about such things. Either way he couldn’t change anything now. The most important thing now was to somehow find the Jiang Cheng of this world again and to hopefully bring him and this Huan together again. So Lan Xichen started to focus on his other senses. 

This Huan was lying on a comfortable bed again and was sleeping soundly. The air smelled like sandalwood and he felt cozy and warm. He heard some birds chirping in the distance but except for that it was quite quiet. 

Suddenly Lan Xichen heard some rapid knocks on a door and Huan instantly stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and his really panicked looking uncle was standing there. His uncle pushed him quickly back to his room again and closed the door. Lan Xichen noticed how worried Huan got and even he was worried. He never saw his uncle so panicked. Just what happened? 

“Uncle, what happened?” 

His uncle breathed in and out and whispered to him. 

“Your parents just got poisoned. Someone is after our lives. Luckily Doctor Wen was already here and she is examining them now. I couldn’t even trust our own doctors. We have to keep our heads down and we can’t show any weakness now. And you have to take over your father’s position now for some time. We both have to stay strong for them.” 

Huan just nodded, he couldn’t say more. He was just so shocked and even Lan Xichen's heart was hurting. He was so happy seeing his parents alive and happy in the other world, he didn’t want to lose them so early again. He really hoped that they would get better soon! 

“Let’s go to them, I’m sure Doctor Wen can tell us more.” 

Huan just followed his uncle silently and they soon reached his parents chambers. Lan Xichen felt how afraid Huan was, how his breath came quicker and quicker and how he tried his best to hold his tears. Huan walked over to his parents and it looked like they were just sleeping peacefully. Doctor Wen was already finished with her examination. 

“They luckily didn’t eat much of the poison, probably noticed it soon enough. I gave them the antidote and they should wake up after a week. But this poison can be deadly if too much of it is consumed. Your parents were really lucky that they noticed it fast enough. And don’t worry, I will of course keep all of this a secret. Take it as thanks for allowing me to wander freely here and for giving me funds while I’m here.” 

Doctor Wen said while packing away her medical supplies. 

“Thank you so much Doctor Wen, I don’t know how we can thank you enough.” 

King Qiren said and both him and Huan bowed down to Doctor Wen. 

“Please, like I said you’ve already done enough for me. If you need anything else please call me.” 

Doctor Wen said her goodbye and left the room. Huan was looking at his parents again and Lan Xichen felt relief but also worry inside of him. And Lan Xichen felt the same way, someone wanted them dead and he was so close to losing his parents again. And what would happen of Wangji? He just couldn’t stand here and do nothing but his hands were tied. His uncle patted his shoulder. 

“Let them rest, A-Huan. We need to talk about the next steps. This isn’t a simple matter and we need all the help we can get.” 

They both left the room. 

“Please get dressed and come to my study to talk about the next steps.” 

“Yes, uncle.” 

Huan just said and went to his room and quickly got ready to meet up with his uncle at his study. His uncle of course saw how worried Huan was. 

“Please try not to worry too much. They’re luckily alright for now. You have to be strong for the kingdom and for our people. For now it’s important to keep all of this under wraps and to ensure the safety of our people.” 

His uncle patted his shoulder. He breathed in and out and Lan Xichen noticed that Huan was a little calmer now. 

“Hm, first of all we should tell our folk that the king and queen went on a vacation together, so every inquiry will be processed by me.” 

Huan started. 

“Yes, this is the best way. I will tell our messengers to spread these news.” 

His uncle agreed. 

“Thank you uncle. The next step is: how do we find the killer without him noticing that we’re looking for him? I’m afraid that if we start the investigation, the killer will just disappear. And I don’t know for now whom I can and cannot trust. Do you have an idea uncle?” 

Huan asked. 

“With how tricky the situation is, I think this calls for some special forces. I suggest we try to call for help from the Special Knight Union. I can prepare the talisman for the call after informing the messengers of the king’s and queen's departure.” 

His uncle suggested. 

“I think you’re right. We can’t handle this kind of situation alone. Thank you uncle. While you are informing the messengers I will go through my father’s correspondence and answer the most important ones for now.” 

His uncle nodded again and even hugged him. 

“We will get through this.” 

His uncle encouraged him. Huan just hugged back and nodded before they both went on with their tasks. Lan Xichen couldn’t do anything else but just stare. His uncle never showed this kind of physical affection and in A-Huan's world he never saw his uncle as often. But seeing how affectionate even his uncle was - just why was his own family so distant about physical affection? It really wasn’t fair. Would everything have been different if he knew this kind of affection? Would he have seen through A-Yaos fake smiles and all his lies earlier? Maybe he wouldn’t have to seek validation from other people and maybe he would be strong enough to stand his ground. And maybe then Wangji didn’t have to endure all of the whiplashes. 

Huan finished his work and his uncle was already waiting for him in his study. 

“I prepared everything, we just need to activate it with our blood. And I have to warn you, by activating this talisman we are bound for secrecy. If we even talk about it to someone else the consequences of it will be very bad. So please keep everything you see and hear a secret.” 

Huan just nodded and Lan Xichen noticed his nervousness. He really hoped that they would find the killer soon. His uncle and him proceeded to prick their fingers and let the blood drip down on to the talisman. At first nothing happened and Lan Xichen thought that maybe it didn’t just work. But then suddenly something appeared - two blindfolds. His uncle and Huan were looking at each other before picking it up and putting the blindfolds on. And then a familiar energy surrounded Huan and Lan Xiches heart was beating really fast. Could it be? The air changed around them and Lan Xichen couldn’t hear anything at all. 

“Please keep your blindfolds on, you will soon be heard.” 

Someone said while helping Huan to get seated. So he waited for some time and then he heard a door open and close again. 

“Please introduce yourself and explain your issue. Why do you need our help?”

A voice asked. 

“My name is Lan Huan, crown prince of Gusu. This is my uncle Lan Qiren, second King of Gusu. Thank you so much for answering our call and for giving us the opportunity to ask for your help. My mother and father suddenly fell ill and a doctor, Doctor Wen, confirmed that they were poisoned. The blessing in disguise was that they didn’t consume much of the poison, probably noticing it in time, so they likely wake up after a week. But that means that there are people in our palace who wished for our deaths. So we didn’t say anything, didn’t start an investigation and just said that my parents were on vacation so the killer didn’t get suspicious and tried to get away. Nobody except Doctor Wen and us know the truth. But all of this also means that our hands are tied and I’m afraid that the killer will try to attack my uncle and me next. Luckily my brother gave up his prince title and eloped with Young Master Wei, but I’m still afraid that even they will get targeted. So we kindly ask you to help us find the killer and to keep my family safe.” 

Huan answered and bowed. 

“Please get up, we will help you. Such a thing can really disturb the peace if handled wrong. Violet Spider and I will lead the investigation and we will do our best to find the killer. We also will send some of our knights to your brother, so he and his husband are safe, too. Your Majesty, Lan Qiren, you will be under the protection of Phoenix while Your Majesty, Lan Huan, will be under the protection of Sandu. And you don’t have to worry, you won’t notice that they are even there. Just go on with your daily routine like usual.” 

Did Lan Xichen hear it right? Sandu? Could it really be? Was this person really Jiang Cheng? It had to be! This energy and the name couldn’t be a coincidence! 

“Please make sure that they are safe. Don’t forget - keeping the peace is the most important thing. If something happens you both know how to communicate with us. We will be in touch.” 

Lan Xichen heard the voice talk again. 

“Yes!” 

Some other voices said and Lan Xichen felt how someone took Huan's hand. And then the familiar energy surrounded them again. He heard the birds chirp again and realized that they arrived in Gusu again. 

“Don’t worry, we will be near. You can go on your day as usual.” 

Lan Xichen didn’t recognize the voice. Maybe he was wrong all along? Maybe the name just happened to be something familiar? But before he even could say anything back or take off his blindfold these people had already disappeared into thin air. 

The next few weeks nothing notable happened. Huan just went on with his tasks, answering correspondence, working on paperwork regarding the kingdom finances and helping the common folk who were looking for help. He also received a message that his parents were awake and safe and he was so relieved! His uncle was right, they were going to be okay! Lan Xichen was also relieved that his parents survived! He was really afraid that Huan would also lose them so early. But they survived and everything was going to be okay! 

But Lan Xichen was still a bit sad because didn’t manage to catch a glimpse of Sandu, he didn’t even notice that someone was observing him. Was Sandu even near him? But he had to be, a member of the Special Night Union said it themselves, that they wouldn’t even notice them. Lan Xichen thought the next days would pass in a similar manner, doing the repetitive tasks over and over again. But of course Huan wouldn’t be Huan with a little bit of mischief. 

Lan Xichen never got to live this side of him, always had to be responsible and listen to his elders. So he was glad that at least this Huan could act like he wanted to do. Once a month the palace would be closed for outsiders so his family could have a free day. At first Lan Xichen thought that Huan would just spend some time with his uncle, but he was delighted to know that Huan had other plans. He was acting really suspicious, looking left and right before opening a hidden door. A room full of toys, some gold and different kinds of dried foods welcomed him. Lan Xichen was really surprised, just why was the crown prince hiding all of this? Huan started to get dressed in commoner clothes and he put some toys, food and some gold into a big backpack. To hide his face even further he put on a big hat with a veil and opened a passage to the outside. 

Huan was walking for a while before finally stopping in front of a big house. Lan Xichen read “orphanage” at the door and his heart just got warm. So Huan was helping these kids out? Lan Xichen wanted to help the unfortunate, too, and he already designed different kinds of programs to help the people in need. But his elders just denied everything, claiming that even more outsiders would come to Gusu and take advantage of this system. Of course Lan Xichen tried to argue with them, he believed that if people were that desperate to leave their homes just to have something to eat and drink then they should just get it, but his elders just wouldn’t budge. So he just gave up. 

But seeing this Huan just sneaking around and still doing the things he believed in - just why didn’t Lan Xichen even think about doing it that way? He really never thought outside of the box. Huan opened the door and inside the kids were already waiting for him. 

“HUAN-GE!” 

The kids greeted him and jumped on him for a hug while giggling. The head of the orphanage, a nun, was smiling warmly at them. 

“Okay, okay kids let him go, I’m sure he will play with you soon!” 

The kids slowly stepped away from him and Lan Xichen just felt so happy! These kids really seemed like they loved Huan and it was just a wonderful feeling to be appreciated so much! 

“Thank you so much for always helping us out. The kids really love you and always ask when you will be back again.” 

The nun said to Huan. 

“Really, no problem at all. I love to spend time with them and I’m glad that I can at least help a little even if I wish that I could help more.”

He answered while handing the nun his full backpack. The nun put it thankfully away and both of them made their way deeper into the orphanage. After that he played with the children, even helped them cook and ate with them. In no time it was late in the afternoon and Huan had to say his goodbyes and go back to the castle. On the way he saw some stray dogs and cats and gave them something to eat and drink. The dogs and cats thanked him with many licks and pets and Lan Xichen was just smiling the whole time. This was really the best day ever! Lan Xichen felt so fulfilled and he was so glad that Huan was helping these kids and animals out! Back at the castle Huan had a quick meal with his uncle and went back to his chambers before he got ready for bed and went to bed. Huan fell asleep quickly and even Lan Xichen was exhausted but happy. 

Huan was sleeping really deep but suddenly something woke him up. Lan Xichen felt how hard Huan's heart was beating and wondered just what happened. Did Huan have a nightmare? Huan tried to calm down and breathed in and out. And he tried to fall asleep again but then he heard a quiet splash from his bathroom. Did someone manage to get into his rooms? If yes, where was Sandu? 

He slowly stood up and walked quietly to the open door of the bathroom. And what Huan and Lan Xichen saw there just took their breath away. Standing there in the middle of the stone pit was Sandu, or Lan Xichen should rather say Jiang Cheng. And he looked so ethereal beneath the moonlight. His hair was wet and long and falling down his back. His side profile took his breath away and Lan Xichen noticed how Huan followed a drop of water down Sandus throat and he had to swallow. And Lan Xichen couldn’t even be angry because he also couldn’t look away. Jiang Cheng was really beautiful with all the defined muscles and features, his high cheekbones and his eyes which seemed to swallow you whole when he looked at you. Huan’s heart was beating really fast and he was getting really warm and Lan Xichen felt the same way. 

But the moment was broken when Sandu suddenly looked in his direction. Huan quickly got away and climbed into his bed again, pretending to be sleeping. But his breath just came out too quickly and he just couldn’t calm down! But maybe Sandu wouldn’t notice it? Just when he thought that everything would be alright again he felt how someone touched his forehead. 

Even Lan Xichen got startled and Huan opened his eyes. He saw how Sandu was standing there and he didn’t even think before he grabbed him by his wrist. Sandu just froze and was looking at Huan now. And Lan Xichen was just breathless. Jiang Cheng was just so beautiful and his eyes were as intense as ever. It was like a storm was inside of his eyes, such a beautiful blue-gray color. And Lan Xichen felt the immense happiness inside of Huan. He must have recognized him again and Lan Xichen was just glad they both got to meet again! But before Huan even could say anything Sandu wrecked his wrist free, disappearing into the darkness. Huan called “Please wait!” before Sandu would disappear again but it was too late. So Huan just sighed and went back to bed again. 

Lan Xichen noticed just how determined Huan was. From that day onwards Huan tried his best to communicate with Sandu. Even if Huan didn’t know where exactly Sandu was, he would still ask him different kinds of questions when he was alone. He would ask him about everything he could think of. About his favorite foods, how he was, how he liked it here, if he needed anything, if they could eat together and and and. Sandu of course didn’t answer but Huan didn’t give up. He asked everyday, hoping that at least Sandu would hear him. 

Of course Huan was still nervous about the killer and even Lan Xichen was worried. Already some weeks had passed but they still couldn’t find them. Lan Xichen thought that he wouldn’t hear anything regarding the killer today either. But then his uncle got a message to meet up at Huan's chambers at nine o’clock. So his uncle and he went there at nine o’clock and Sandu and Phoenix were already waiting for them. After putting the blindfolds on Huan felt that familiar energy and everything became quiet again. Sandu helped Huan to sit down at the chair and Huan heard the same voice from the first time speak again. 

“Thank you for coming on such short notice. Like both of you know, we still didn’t manage to find the killer. We don’t know if this person was satisfied because they think that they killed the king and queen or if they are waiting for another opportunity to kill the rest of the royal family. Violet Spider and I talked it through and we both came to the conclusion that the best way of finding the killer is to lure him out. And what is the best way to lure them out? To show them that the Gusu Kingdom is going to gain even more power. We hope that seeing that the kingdom is still flourishing the killer will get careless and try quickly to kill all of you for good. So the Gusu Kingdom will announce a big celebration and announcement - the betrothal of the crown prince of Gusu! And with none other than the second princess from the far away Kingdom Dongying! Making sure that Gusu even has political ties all over the world! Of course all of this will be a farce and the second princess won’t be the real princess from Dongying. Instead the supposed princess will be none other than Sandu. This is to ensure that the royal family is still safe even if the killer manages to get close to them. We already talked with the king and queen and they gave us their go for the plan. They are even going to announce the betrothal themselves, showing themself to the killer, and explaining that that was the reason why they were gone for so long. Sandu, please use your disguise skills to turn yourself into a really pretty princess, I believe in you that you can do this. The betrothal celebration is the day after tomorrow so your task for tomorrow is to stay in your disguise and to spend time with the crown prince not just from the shadows but actively on his side. Your interactions needed to seem more natural and like you know each other for some time so make sure to get your stories straight and act that way. We put everything you need into this bag.” 

Oh my gods, was this really true or was he dreaming again? Lan Xichen was allowed to spend a whole day with Jiang Cheng? Even if it was in a disguise he would savor every moment of it! He of course noticed how much Huan was grinning and felt how happy he was. Thank the gods that they both found each other here and that at least this Huan can live out his love. Lan Xichen noticed how hard Huan tried to keep a neutral face but he was just too happy. But he had to act calm. After all parties agreed to this plan, Phoenix and Sandu brought Huan and his uncle back to their palace and disappeared into the darkness again. Huan got ready for bed, wished Sandu a good night and went to sleep. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow to finally get to spend more time with Sandu! It would be awesome! 

Huan woke up with the first sun rays of the day. He was feeling really good and he couldn’t wait to spend more time with Sandu! He got up and went to his closet, deciding on what to wear. Somehow none of his garnets really seemed suitable. In the end he decided for a light blue and white colored garnet. But before he even could put it on, he heard some knocks on his door and before he even could say anything the door already pushed open. 

“Your Majesty, I’m coming in now.” 

Huan just froze and was staring at Sandu now, who was already in disguise. And even in a dress he was just the most beautiful person Lan Xichen ever saw. His hair was open and falling in waves down his back, the color of the dress really complimented his skin and the make up really brought up the color of his eyes even more. Huan and Sandu were staring at each other like both of them just saw a ghost. Suddenly Sandu quickly turned away. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t just barge into your room like that, Your Majesty.”

This woke up Huan from his shock and he walked over to Sandu. 

“Please, don’t worry. And please call me Huan, we have to act close, remember?” 

Sandu slowly turned around but covered his eyes with his hands really fast. 

“Please Your Majesty- I mean Huan please put something on.” 

Huan was looking down on himself, breathed out a laugh and he quickly got dressed. And Lan Xichen was just grinning about Sandus' reaction. It was really endearing how fearless but shy he was, how quickly he blushed and how this blushed spread beautifully across his cheeks and neck. Huan saw how Sandu slowly put down his hands again and just grinned at him. 

“Your disguise is really good by the way. You look really beautiful like that, it really suits you!” 

Lan Xichen nearly choked. Okay, Huan was really bold. But he really enjoyed it! Because deep down he wished to be this bold! And he was glad he could now experience this through Huan. Sandu was looking at him like a fish out of water and became just speechless. But he managed to gather himself and gain his composure again. 

“Your Majesty, please stop with the jokes, we have more important things to do. So please let’s get on with this.” 

Huan saw how Sandu walked to his work desk. 

“Okay, okay you win.” 

Huan grinned, putting his hands up like saying “I give up” while following Sandu. 

“And I already said it before, you need to call me Huan, not Your Majesty. We are engaged, remember?” 

Huan waggled his eyebrows while taking a seat opposite of Sandu. Lan Xichen was having the time of his life and laughing so much! I really enjoyed how Huan acted, it was really entertaining! Sandu just stared at Huan with a blank stare and didn’t say anything. And Huan started fidgeting under his stare. 

“Okay, okay I’ll stop. But still you have to call me Huan or else the killer will know that all of this is a farce.” 

Huan saw how Sandu breathed in and out. 

“Okay Huan, let’s just get this over with and soon we can go our separate ways again. Do you have something to say or any questions? If not, I suggest that you go on with your day as usual and I follow you like usual but with the difference of course that you can see me now.” 

“I’m afraid it will not be so simple to fake our betrothal this way. You realize we have to act like we’re in love? How can we do that when we go on like usual?” 

Huan raised an eyebrow. 

“So my suggestion is: Let’s get to know each other better first and get used to little touches and these kinds of things. I don’t even know what I should call you! I could call you Sandu but I don’t think that is a very fitting name for a princess. So, what would you like to be called?” 

Lan Xichen was surprised. So being responsible and being himself at the same time was possible? Sandu was staring at the crown prince with a blank stare again and it looked like he was thinking about something. Finally he nodded. 

“You are of course right.” 

Huan let go a breath of relief. 

“You can call me Cheng. Should we think about a story of how we met or do you think that won’t be necessary?” 

Did Sandu really give his real name away? Did he remember Huan? Lan Xichen's heart was beating really fast and he felt how excited Huan got. 

“Cheng, it’s really a beautiful name.” 

Huan couldn’t help but smile. 

“Hm, our kingdom always believed in real love and our family was always against arranged marriages. That’s why my parents allowed my brother to elope with Young Master Wei because they saw that he had found his soulmate. And the happiness of our family members were always more important than some titles or treasures. So I think we should think about how we met and fell in love or my people won’t believe it. How about this? On a diplomatic visit to Dongying I was wandering alone around the castle and couldn’t find my way back again. And while searching for my way back I came across a big garden and you were standing there, looking at the beautiful flowers. I fell in love with you at first sight and after striking a conversation with you we noticed just how much we had in common and we both knew we wanted to spend our lives together. So when I came back I told my parents that I want to ask for your hand in marriage and that is why they went away to discuss a marriage proposal while I stayed here and looked over our kingdom. How does that sound?” 

Would Sandu remember their first meeting? Huan just couldn’t lie to him, not when the love he searched for his whole life was finally within his reach. He hoped that Sandu would remember it, but he wasn’t sure. Sandu was smiling gently and both Huan's and Lan Xichen's heart skipped a beat. 

“You should smile more, it really fits you.” 

Huan couldn’t help but to say that out loud. Sandu instantly put on a scowl and Lan Xichen had to laugh. Cheng's reactions were always just too cute! 

“Stop teasing me. Like I said, we have more important things to do.” 

Sandu breathed in and out and he put on a neutral face again. 

“So that’s our backstory. Do we have to think about more things or is this enough?” 

“Hm, not really, but I would like to get to know you better. I finally have a chance to talk to you face to face instead of just talking to a wall.” 

Huan was smiling warmly at Sandu and took his hand. Sandu froze again and they both stared at each other for a moment before Sandu pulled his hand free of Huan's hold. 

“You know I can’t talk about myself. Even showing myself like this to you is really dangerous. The only reason we can talk face to face is because it is necessary and because I’m in a disguise now. I don’t know what you hope for or why you want to know so much about me but I hope you know that after we find the killer we won’t meet each other again. It will be like we never even met. So I don’t think it’s necessary to get to know each other.” 

Ouch, these words really hit him like a deadly arrow right through his heart. But Huan was still determined and he just didn’t want to give up. Lan Xichen was just feeling sad, was it really that impossible to be together in this world? He really hoped that they would find another way. 

“Of course, you’re right. I’m sorry I crossed the line. How about we just spend the rest of the day together, get used to each other’s company and presence? And by the way, you should get used to holding my hand and being near me, it won’t do if you pull away, hm?” 

Huan  smirked at Sandu and pulled him up by his hand. He really recovered fast! Lan Xichen could only snort. 

The rest of the day was similar to the other days but with the main difference that Sandu was on Huan's side now. Of course everyone was curious and of course some rumors about their betrothal already started even before the king and queen announced it. Speaking of, they both were already on their way here again. The servants of course knew of the betrothal already, making sure that everything was prepared for tomorrow. 

Huan and Sandu were now seeing the common folk, helping them with their problems like usual. But the atmosphere today was different than usual. Really everyone tried to glance at Sandus' direction. And Huan didn’t know if he liked it or not. But he was still just happy to have Sandu at his side and that he even could ask for his advice. He really wanted to talk with Sandu more, to learn more about his opinions and this was the perfect opportunity for it! Time passed quickly and just a little family of three was left now. The mother looked really distraught and her baby was crying so much that it already lost its voice. 

“Your Majesty, I’m sorry for coming to you with an unusual problem. But I just didn’t know where else to go. My poor baby just can’t stop crying. We tried anything, we fed her, tried to help her fall asleep and even went to a doctor but it all didn’t help. We just hoped that maybe if you could hold her she would stop crying?” 

The mother was bowing really low, trying her best to hold it together. Of course Huan would help them, hearing this baby cry so much really hurt his heart. 

“Please, stand up. Of course, I will do anything to help.” 

He reached out for the baby and took her into his arms. The baby was unfortunately still crying and he didn’t know what else to do. 

“Can I try something?” 

He suddenly heard Sandu ask with a higher voice. Huan just stared at him, but then he smiled and turned to the parents. 

“Would that be okay with you?” 

He asked the parents. 

“Of course, of course!”

The parents said while bowing. Sandu took the baby into his arms and started to rock her in his arms. He then started to pat the little one’s head and the baby finally stopped crying. His genuine smile just took Huan’s breath away and the baby was looking at Sandu with big eyes. The parents let out a breath of relief and started to cry happy tears. Sandu then gave the baby back to her parents. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Young Mistress!” 

The parents were crying and bowing at Sandu. 

“Please, you don’t need to bow, I didn’t do anything!” 

Sandu dismissed their thank you’s and waved with his hands. 

“Ah, maybe your beauty was just enough to make her stop crying my dear A-Cheng?” 

Huan grinned at him, and he just couldn’t help himself. He took his hand and kissed the back of his hand and Lan Xichen was feeling so happy! He was really glad that Huan was this bold, it was amazing to feel this way! Sandu blushed beautifully and tried to take back his hand. But Huan didn’t let go of it and was gripping it really hard. 

“Thank you so much for your help, my love.” 

He smiled at Sandu and his heart was just full of these fuzzy feelings. He was so awestruck and so amazed that this Huan just didn’t give up! The small family was looking at them with curiosity and interest and smiling at them. 

“Your Majesty, she is really an amazing person. Please make sure to never let her go.” 

The mother said warmly and both her and her husband thanked and bowed to them again before they were gone. And they were right, Jiang Cheng was really an amazing person. Lan Xichen was so thankful to get to know different sides of Jiang Cheng and that even other people saw just how amazing he was! 

“You’re really too much!” 

Sandu whispered harshly at Huan and was scowling at him. Ah how Lan Xichen missed these little banters with Jiang Cheng! 

“Oh, my dear A-Cheng, I’m just telling the truth. And if I’m too much, doesn’t that mean you will have more than enough of me till the rest of our lives?” 

Huan teased and wiggled his eyebrows and Lan Xichen saw the beautiful blush on Sandus face again. He was so thankful to experience all of this and he enjoyed it so much! 

At that moment the king and queen entered the grand hall and Huan broke into a big smile and ran down to his parents, hugging them tight. 

“Mother, father, I missed you so much!” 

His father was patting his head while his mother was hugging both of them even closer. 

“Oh my dear A-Huan, thank you for holding the position while we were away. You did an amazing job.” 

His father praised him. 

“Ah don’t mention it, I’m just glad that you both are okay!” 

Huan was waving with his hand in a dismissive manner. His parents looked up, noticing Sandu and walked over to him. 

“You must be Sandu. Thank you so much for protecting our son and our kingdom.” 

The queen said and both the king and queen were now bowing to him. 

“Your Highness, please you don’t have to thank me or bow to me, I’m just doing the job I have to do. We all want to live in peace, don’t we?” 

Sandu quickly answered. The king and queen came up from their bow again and were observing him while smiling warmly at him. 

“You look really beautiful by the way and I’m sure you already stole many hearts from our people. Am I right, A-Huan?” 

His mother was teasing him and Lan Xichen was delighted! Had he inherited this side from his mother? Sandu was looking at her like a fish out of water. 

“Didn’t I say it as well? You really look beautiful. But I would close your mouth or you could accidentally swallow a fly my dear and we don’t want that, do we?” 

Huan said while tipping Sandus' chin with his index finger. Lan Xichen felt really giddy, just freely flirting with Sandu was just awesome and so freeing! The king laughed.

“I would love to talk like this more but we have to announce the betrothal soon. Our folk are already waiting for us!” 

All of them followed the king to the big balcony. Huan offered his arm to Sandu and Sandu just took it! Lan Xichen was so happy! From the balcony you could see the whole kingdom and Lan Xichen could already hear and see the masses of people waiting excitedly for them. His father raised a hand and the crowd became silent. 

“Thank you so much for coming here. As you know, my dear queen and I were away for some time. The reason was for a special occasion. We went to Dongying because our dear A-Huan found his special someone, the second princess of Dongying! We of course support this union and we are sure our future will be bright with such a wonderful princess by our son’s side!” 

Huan and Sandu stepped forward and bowed deep and the crowd was cheering for them. Huan noticed how nervous Sandu was, so he caressed Sandu's thumb with his thumb, hoping it was calming him down. 

Suddenly Sandu quietly stepped forward and that’s when Huan saw the incoming arrow. He didn’t even think, his body reacted on his own and he quickly switched their places, so the arrow wouldn’t hurt Sandu. He just couldn’t stand seeing Sandu hurt, he had to protect him. The arrow pierced through his body and Huan just noticed how he fell into Sandus arms before passing out from all the pain. Lan Xichen just felt the immense pain, before everything became dark for him again. 

For some time Lan Xichen didn’t see or feel anything at all. Then suddenly he felt the familiar energy inside of his body. This energy already saved him once and gave him a second chance in life. This energy of the person who took over his heart and who he couldn’t stop to think about. Was he granted a second chance again? He really hoped so, he wanted for Sandu and Huan to be together. At least in this world they deserved their happy end. 

Even if Lan Xichen didn’t deserve it, these two definitely did. Lan Xichen made too many mistakes, trusted the wrong people and put aside the person who could have saved him. But these two were protecting each other and he really hoped that Huan would survive it. Lan Xichen felt how Huan slowly gained his strength again and he was just glad! He was sure that Huan would be fine! 

Huan slowly woke up and noticed Sandu sleeping beside him, his head resting on his bed while he was sitting on the ground. He took Sandus hand and started to caress it but it just woke Sandu up. Sandu jumped up and breathed out: 

“You’re awake.”

“Of course, such a thing won’t kill me, I’m quite sturdy! Aw, were you worried about me? You like me, don’t you?” 

Huan was just happy that Sandu was by his side, he even looked more beautiful without all of the make up and pretty dresses and it took his breath away. He couldn’t help but to grin and to tease Sandu. Suddenly Sandu screamed at him. 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND? YOU COULD HAVE DIED AND YOU’RE JOKING AROUND?! IT IS NOT FUNNY! DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW WORRIED EVERYONE WAS, HOW WORRIED I WAS?! I AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU, MY GEAR IS WEAPON PROOF BUT YOU HAD TO BE THIS STUPID AND PROTECT ME! I ALREADY WAS BEING PROTECTED, I WOULD HAVE COME OUT OF THIS UNHARMED BUT YOU? YOU COULD HAVE DIED!” 

Huan noticed Sandus' tears but he quickly turned away. Huan felt bad, he never wanted to make Sandu cry like this. So he did the only thing he could think of, he hugged Sandu from behind, his head resting on Sandu's shoulder. Huan noticed how Sandu froze but he didn’t pull away. 

“I’m sorry I caused you so much worry. But I would’ve done it anyway. I didn’t think, my body just moved on its own. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. You are too important to me and I just can’t live without you. Can’t you just turn around? I don’t want to talk behind your back, I want to see your face.” 

Huan said in a small voice. 

“No.” 

Huan heard Sandus' voice tremble and his heart was hurting. He never wanted to worry Sandu this much. 

“Please, for me?” 

He pleaded and luckily Sandu slowly turned around. Huan cupped his cheeks and brushed the tears away. 

“I’m really sorry I never wanted to see you cry like this. I want to see you happy, to be by your side forever. And I just can’t hold it in anymore, not after today, not when I nearly lost you.” 

Huan was looking deeply into Sandus' eyes. 

“Can you give me the honor to ask for your hand in marriage? I know you said that you have to go back to your Union and that you can’t just throw all of that away. But I just can’t imagine my life without you. I want to sleep and wake up next to you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I searched for you for the whole of my life, I just can’t let you go. I love you, A-Cheng, my dear A-Cheng. So please be by my side forever and marry me?” 

Huan was really nervous and Lan Xichen prayed for Sandu to agree. Luckily Sandu just laughed and cried happy tears before he pulled Huan into a tight hug. 

“You’re such a dumbass. Your parents already asked for my hand in marriage for you. They even talked with my parents and my elder and they let me choose what I wanted to do. And of course I chose you. I feel the same way, I can’t live without you.” 

Huan was now crying, too. 

“Thank you so much for choosing me. You won’t regret it, I promise!” 

They both hugged for a while, giving each other comfort before they let go of the hug. “Before I forget, my choice comes with conditions. I can’t show my face to anyone else except you so I have to stay in disguise when we’re going out. And nobody else is allowed to know my real identity. Is that alright with you?” 

Sandu asked and Huan noticed how anxious he got. No, he couldn’t have that. 

“Ah, what a shame, I won’t see your true and even more beautiful face all the time? But thinking more about it, it's not so bad, isn’t it? Just I alone get to know just how wonderful you are! Just I will know your true self, isn’t that just wonderful? Of course it’s alright with me, anything just to have you by my side!” 

Huan grinned while kissing the back of Sandus' hand. Sandu just rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“Your smile is really beautiful, it wakes a different kind of desire in me. I know it may be sudden but can I kiss you? I just can’t believe you’re really here and I've wanted to kiss you for a long time now.” 

Sandu just stared at Huan and blushed beautifully. Lan Xichen was just so happy! They really did it, they managed to be together! But he was also envious and yearning for his Jiang Cheng. Was it really that hopeless to try for this kind of relationship? Did he mess up with his Jiang Cheng too much? 

Sandu just nodded and Lan Xichen just noticed how Huan was closing the distance before closing his eyes. But like the last time before he even could feel the kiss he was already pushed out of Huan's body again, floating on top of Huan and Sandu. He just saw how Huan pressed Sandu down to the bed while kissing him before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng woke up to the now familiar darkness again. And he was already so done. First he still wasn’t back in his original body and last he didn’t want to see even more versions of him living the life he never could have! The gods really knew how to punish him. And like he was calling them, he felt the familiar headache and again many pieces of information and pictures appeared in his mind. He couldn’t do anything else, so he waited till the influx stopped and he could sort through all of it. 

But he never expected this. Jiang Cheng thought he had seen everything, but this? Are the gods fucking with him?! Okay, he needed to calm down. He didn’t have any other choice but to roll with it. It’s not like he could just leave this body. So he tried his best and sorted through the information, trying to make sense of it. 

He was still Jiang Cheng, 23 years old and he still had his parents, a sibling, an aunt and uncle Wei and a cousin named Wei Ying. He was in a similar world to A-Cheng's world, a world without any spiritual or resentful energies or different sects. He also saw the familiar gadgets, like in the world of A-Cheng, again. That wasn’t the strange part, he was already used to it thanks to A-Cheng. 

No, the unbelievable part was that he wasn’t a man in this world, but a woman! Even his sister wasn’t his sister, she was his brother! And even Wei Ying was a woman in this world! How was that even possible?! Jiang Cheng really thought that the gods must be joking with him. Or they loved to see him suffer. 

But to be honest he didn’t even have a problem with the gender. He always thought that these things didn’t matter, your gender didn’t determine how strong or weak you are. But this just felt like some stupid game the gods were playing, like they enjoyed him suffering. 

No, Jiang Cheng didn’t let himself get suppressed, he would get through all of this shit. So he tried to learn more about the life that this Jiang Cheng lived. This Jiang Cheng was a young and famous actress and she already played in some films and shows since she was little. Her family owned a talent agency where his mother and his brother were the CEO and CFO respectively. Her father was a talent scout and always on the look for new and promising talents. He also learned that Yanli was already engaged to the peacock (who was also a woman in this world) and that the wedding would be soon. In this world both of the families were also really close since the beginning and Yanli and Zixuan fell in love when they were little. Zixuan was even working as Yanlis' assistant now. 

Wei Wuxian of course already found Hanguang-Jun again (who was of course also a woman in this world) and both of them were also well known actresses. They both made a name for themselves for their chemistry in front of the camera and the many projects they did together. And of course for their unusual but romantic relationship, for being the lesbian icons and for being involved in all kinds of charities. Of course both of them would be this shameless. Jiang Cheng just rolled his eyes. 

He tried not to think about the relationship between this world's Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen but he had to do it. And he noticed something, something that made him really happy! Yes! Finally! This Jiang Cheng felt angry and jealous towards Lan Xichen (also a woman in this world). Because Lan Xichen was also a talented actress and of course Lan Xichen was better than him, even in this world. This Jiang Cheng saw Lan Xichen as a rival and both of them often competed for the same categories in different rankings or award shows. But of course this Jiang Cheng never won one of those and was always the second. Which is why she felt such resentment towards Lan Xichen. They never really talked, the Jiang Cheng of this world was always too angry to even be in the same room as the Lan Xichen of this world. But she still tried to be polite but distant with her. They both even had artist names, this Jiang Cheng was called Zidian and Lan Xichen was called Shuoyue. 

Even if it somehow irked Jiang Cheng that even Zidian was just the second best, it was a lot better than these confusing and fuzzy feelings he had because of the other versions of Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng knew anger, knew jealousy, these feelings helped him to build his sect and to manage to do everything on his own. It was the best outcome he could have hoped for! Maybe the gods wanted to show some mercy to him? Either way, he was just glad that Zidian didn’t even interact with Shuoyue and they were distant and polite at best with each other. This was how it should have been all along. Distant politeness instead of a close relationship. 

After getting that sorted out he tried to feel with his senses again. He was lying in a bed again but before he even could feel anything else he already heard an alarm clock. Zidian was instantly awake and already got out of the bed. Jiang Cheng noticed that it was still dark outside. Why was Zidian already awake this early in the morning? Zidian quickly got ready and Jiang Cheng could catch a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. He really looked like his usual self, with his high cheekbones and long, wavy and brown hair. The only difference was that he was a little shorter and of course that he had more curves than his usual form. 

Jiang Cheng thought he needed more time to get used to this form but luckily it wasn’t that different from what he used to. Zidian put on some leggings, a hoodie and made her way downstairs. She was still living with her parents, it was more practical this way but she still had her own space with enough room for everything she needed. 

Downstairs Yanli was already waiting for her and Jiang Cheng could just stare at the male version of his sister. Yanli was a lot taller than usual, his hair was short, he was quite muscular and he looked a lot like their father. 

“Gege!” 

Zidian called out and ran up to her brother. Yanli smiled warmly at her and pulled her into a hug. 

“Good morning A-Cheng, did you sleep well?” 

Yanli asked. 

“As best as I could. You know how nervous I get before a job. And this is the first time where I’m finally not just in a supporting role, so my mind wanders to all the things that could go wrong.” 

Yanli patted Zidian's head. 

“Please don’t worry about it. I saw you grow up and saw how far you’ve come. You’re not just talented but you work so hard! I’m sure it will be lovely! And to make it easier for you, I will be your manager for this job. So if you have any problems or other worries please let me know. I’m here to help, you don’t have to do this all by yourself, okay?” 

“Is that really okay? Don’t you have a wedding to plan? And what about A-Xuan?” 

Zidian asked. 

“Did somebody call me?” 

Zidian turned around and Jiang Cheng nearly choked. In the doorway stood the female version of Jin Zixuan. She made her way to Yanli and took his arm. Zixuan was the same height as Zidian, her hair was tied up in a ponytail and she wore a white blouse and a dark straight skirt - the perfect outfit for the ideal assistant. 

“A-Li and I talked about it, it is more important to make sure you’re alright. We can plan our wedding while you’re shooting your scenes, so please don’t worry about it. Both A-Li and I just want to make you feel safe and sound.” 

Zixuan smiled at Zidian and Jiang Cheng felt how warm Zidian's heart got. He always regretted the relationship he had with his late brother-in-law and always hated him for how he treated A-Li back in the day. He was already happy to see them close in A-Cheng's world and cherished that friendship with him with all his might. And now seeing this friendship again, it made him really happy. 

Why couldn’t they’ve been born in different circumstances? Jiang Cheng was now sure that if he had these friendships in his world, the Wens wouldn’t easily have destroyed everything within reach. It was just unfair and sometimes Jiang Cheng even hated himself for what he’d become from it, even if he didn’t have any other choice. 

“Thank you, both of you.” 

Zidian said while hugging both of them. 

“You know that we’re both here for you. So don’t worry about anything, you will be amazing in this job, okay?” 

Zixuan reassured her and Zidian nodded. 

“Perfect! I already packed some breakfast for you, eat it while we’re driving, okay? You need as much energy as you can!” 

Her brother gave Zidian a box and Zidian just nodded. Everyone put on their jackets, took their bags and made their way to the car. Zidian climbed on the backseat while Yanli took the driver's seat and Zixuan took the passenger seat. 

Jiang Cheng already rode a few cars when he was in A-Cheng's body but it still amazed him. Even if he preferred to travel by sword, he couldn’t deny just how convenient such a car was. You could transport more things with a car than with a horse and you didn’t have to worry that a car could get hurt in a battle. It was also a lot safer than a horse. 

Zidian quickly ate her breakfast and after some time they finally arrived at the studio. The workers on the set greeted them and they made their way to the meeting room, where the other leading role would be announced. In the meeting room the director and the script writer were already waiting for them. 

And Jiang Cheng's eyes widened, because the director was none other than Lianfang-Zun and the writer was Wen Ning! Jiang Cheng didn’t know what to feel about it. Even if he felt so much hatred towards the Lianfang-Zun of his world, he learned to appreciate and respect the Lianfang-Zun of A-Cheng's world. He really hoped that this Lianfang-Zun would be the same. And about Wen Ning, he had so much regret regarding him and his family but maybe in this world they could be friends? 

Just then Jiang Cheng noticed something. He thought that everyone in this world would have the opposite gender but these two had still the same gender that he was used to. So maybe not everyone did have a different gender? And then he remembered something else, something from Zidian's memories. This world's Lianfang-Zun and Zixuan were also full blood siblings. Lianfang-Zun was called Jin Ziyao again, like in the world of A-Cheng. The reason why Zidian didn’t interact with him that much was because Ziyao went to a different international school since he was little and got his diplomas and masters in different fields. And now he was a well-known director, captivating the whole world with his work. 

“Ah, good morning, A-Li, A-Cheng and of course the most wonderful sister A-Xuan!” 

Ziyao greeted them while grinning. Zixuan just rolled her eyes. 

“Always so dramatic, we just saw each other yesterday!” 

Zixuan noted. 

“Ah, MeiMei, you’re breaking my heart!” 

Ziyao put a hand on his chest and looked hurt, but smiled right after. 

“I just can’t help it, I was gone for so long and we didn’t have many opportunities to see each other! I’m so glad that you accompany our little A-Cheng. But I’m sure either way that A-Cheng will be just amazing!” 

Jiang Cheng was just speechless. He never saw Lianfang-Zun act this way, even in A-Cheng's world. He was used to the familiarity and trust from him, but the Lianfang-Zun of A-Cheng's world always acted as the responsible and loving big brother. Maybe the film industry changed him? 

“Oh, where are my manners, please take a seat everyone! The last guest will arrive shortly but in the meantime let me introduce you to our wonderful screenwriter.” 

Ziyao pointed at Wen Ning but Wen Ning was still staring at Zidian and looked really starstruck. Jiang Cheng was confused, just why was Wen Ning staring at Zidian so intensely? Everyone was now looking at Wen Ning, but he was still silent. Until Ziyao bumped him with his elbow. 

“Ah, my apologies. My name is Wen Ning and I wrote the script for this drama series. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.” 

Wen Ning said with a smile and calm voice but he averted his eyes from Zidian. Jiang Cheng noticed that Zidian got irritated but she managed to hold it in. 

“I had the chance to read it before this meeting and I enjoyed it really much. Thank you both for choosing me as the lead character.” 

Zidian said politely while bowing. She got up again and Wen Ning was staring at her again but didn’t say anything. Okay, now even Jiang Cheng noticed that Zidian had it enough. But he was still surprised how calm and collected Zidian appeared, even if it was different on the inside. 

“Mister Wen, I couldn’t help but notice your staring, is something wrong?” 

Okay, there it was. Zidian was still as blunt as himself, even in this world. Wen Ning flinched like someone caught him doing something wrong and bowed. 

“I’m so sorry Miss Jiang, I’ve just been a fan of you for so long I still can’t believe you agreed to this job. I have wanted to be a screenwriter since the time I first saw you on TV and this is just like a dream come true.” 

Zidian stared at Wen Ning like a fish out of water and even Jiang Cheng was just speechless. What kind of world was this?! Suddenly Zixuan and Ziyao began to laugh, even Yanli chuckled and Zixuan clasped Zidian's shoulder. 

“I told you that you have many fans. Do you believe me now?” 

She laughed at her. Zidian just scowled at her and turned away. 

“I never thought you could be this bold, A-Ning!” 

Ziyao laughed and padded him on Wen Ning's shoulder. Jiang Cheng couldn’t believe it. Just where did he end up?!

“Okay, okay, we should go back to work, A-Ning you will have enough time to get to know your idol better.” 

Ziyao winked at Wen Ning and he turned bright red. Suddenly there was a knock on the meeting door. 

“Ah, this must be our other lead actress!” 

Ziyao said excitedly and made his way to the door to open it. 

“Excuse me, I’m a little late. I hope I didn’t miss too much?” 

The voice asked and Zidian froze. Jiang Cheng felt it, too. Even if this voice was a little higher, this person couldn’t be anyone else. Oh no, not again! Just why? Why were the gods cruel to him? For how long did he have to suffer? But maybe this time it would be different? After all, Zidian didn’t like this person at all! Zidian quietly breathed in and out and put on a neural expression. 

“No, not at all! We just started, come in!” 

Ziyao exclaimed. 

“Please take a seat and we can start with the introductions!” 

The person thanked Ziyao and if the situation wasn’t bad enough this person sat right opposite of her. And of course it was Xichen. Her companions were Grandmaster Lan and Nie Mingjue and they sat left and right of her. Grandmaster Lan still had his original gender but Nie Mingjue was a really imposing but striking woman. Xichen noticed Zidian's glance and smiled brightly at her, but Zidian just turned away and looked at Ziyao again. 

“Okay now we’re all present, I’d like to start with introductions again!” 

Ziyao said cheerfully. 

“As many of you know, my name is Ziyao and I will be the director of this drama series. Wen Ning”, Ziyao pointed to his left, “is the scriptwriter and came up with this wonderful idea for the drama series.” 

Wen Ning bowed lightly while the other applauded. 

“And of course our two shining stars: Shuoyue and Zidian!” 

Zidian also bowed lightly while the others applauded. 

“As you already read in the job description, you both will stay at an apartment nearby while the filming takes place. It is just more convenient this way.” 

Ziyao winked at Xichen and Zidian didn’t understand why. Even Jiang Cheng was confused, just what was going on? 

“We already built the necessary sets for the different scenes, so travel won’t be necessary. Your first stop will be our personal fashion designer, who is none other than Nie Huaisang, to make sure that the costumes fit right. After the fitting you will be brought to our photo studio to take some promotional pictures. We will also announce the second lead to the public today, a countdown on the website of the drama series is already counting down! After the shooting you can go to your apartment and make yourself at home there. If you have any other questions, just ask me, Wen Ning or any other employees here at the studio. They will gladly help you!” 

Ziyao explained. 

“Do you have any other questions?” 

After all the people present denied this, everybody stood up and Ziyao led them to the fashion area of this studio. Already waiting there was Nie Huaisang, commanding her assistants for different tasks and observing everything closely. Nie Huaisang was really beautiful as a woman, even if she didn’t really look that different from her manly form. Nie Huaisang turned around and her whole face lit up. 

“Da-Jie, Yao-Ge!” 

She smiled and ran up to the group, hugging both her sister and Ziyao. 

“We can finally work together, how long did I wait for this moment!” 

Huaisang exclaimed. She turned around and looked at Zidian. 

“Oh my goodness, you’re even more beautiful than on TV!” 

She took Zidian's hand and Zidian didn’t know what to do but just stood there and stared at Nie Huaisang. And Jiang Cheng understood her. These kinds of sunny characters always made him feel strange. 

“I just know you will look good in the costumes I designed! Let’s go try them on!” 

Huaisang pulled at Zidian's hand and Zidian didn’t have another choice but to follow her. She heard some giggles and steps behind her. Huaisang pushed her into a dressing room and gave her the first costume. 

“If you need any help with putting them on, please call me!” 

Huaisang said and closed the blinds of the dressing room. Zidian just chuckled, shook her head and began to put on the first costume.

And Jiang Cheng could’ve cried there and now if he could. Because the first costume was exactly like his usual garments he wore everyday. The same purple, the same lotus embroidery, the same dark boots and even the bell, everything was just as he remembered. He missed his home so much. He missed his people, he missed his nephew, hell he even missed Wei Wuxian. And seeing such a familiar thing in an unknown world, it just hurt. How long would this go on like this? Was he ever going to return to his original body, or was he doomed to live the rest of his life like this? 

Zidian stepped out of the dressing and at the same time someone also stepped out of the neighboring dressing room. But Zidian didn’t even look at that person, she was sure who this person was and wanted to interact as little as possible with them. 

“Oh wow, you both look just perfect! These costumes really fit you both!” 

Huaisang said while circling them both. 

“No adjustment needed, please try the other costumes!” 

So Zidian tried them all on. There were three costumes in total, one was the formal costume, one was an undergarment and one was more of a commoner costume. After making sure that the costumes really fitted right, Zidian had to change to the first costume again. The promotional photo shooting was the next thing she had to do. 

“Please call the make up and hair team here!” 

Huaisang commanded one of her assistants. Zidian and Shuoyue were brought to separate rooms and not long after Zidian was surrounded by a make up and hair team. They put stuff on her face, pulled her hair and finally they were done. Afterwards Zidian was brought up to the photo shooting set and of course Shuoyue was already there. 

Jiang Cheng really didn’t want to look, he even noticed that everything inside Zidian was resisting to be here but she had to be polite and respectful still. Jiang Cheng knew what it meant to do what you were supposed to do, even if you didn’t want to do it. Zidian breathed in and out and put on a neutral face. 

And that was the moment Jiang Cheng saw this world’s Xichen more clearly for the first time. And the view just took his breath away. Shuoyue was wearing the traditional Lan robes, even on point with the headband. Lan Xichen was always good looking, the number one bachelor spot didn’t just come from somewhere. But so much betrayal changed him, took his smile away until he was just a sick and little thing. But now, seeing this Lan Xichen full of energy and so healthy and happy, Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but to think that he really did deserve so much better. 

Shuoyue was smiling at Zidian happily and walked over to her. 

“Hey! I’m so happy to finally work on a project with you, I’ve been your fan for a long time now!” 

Shuoyue smiled brightly at Zidian and Zidian just looked at her shocked. And even Jiang Cheng was speechless! Shuoyue was a fan of Zidian? How?! She was always better than Zidian! Was this just pity? Zidian noticed she didn’t say anything for some time and how uncomfortable Shuoyue got. 

“Thank you so much, but my talents are nothing against you Ms Lan. I apologize in advance if I take longer in some things and I hope you can lead me in my first leading role journey.”

Zidian said politely but distant, bowed and walked over to the green-screen area. Jiang Cheng felt some anger in Zidian and he was sure that she thought the same thing. Of course Shuoyue was pitying her, she was just lucky that Wen Ning was a big fan of her but all of them would soon notice that they made the wrong choice. But Zidian would prove them wrong! Even if Zidian, like Jiang Cheng, always imagined the worst case scenario, she was also stubborn as fuck. 

Luckily today they would just take some single shots, so the photo shooting session was quickly over. Zidian's brother was already waiting behind the camera and held a water bottle in front of her. 

“Here, drink some water and get changed. Let us check your apartment first, see if you need anything else, and then we can grab something to eat. How does that sound?” 

Zidian took the water bottle and took a sip. 

“Sounds like a plan! I just need 10 minutes to get ready!” 

Zidian said and went to her dressing room again. Zidian quickly got changed and walked over to his brother again. 

“A-Xuan is already waiting outside.” 

Yanli said and they both said their goodbyes to the cast and crew and went outside. Together with Zixuan they went to Zidian's new apartment. It was a really beautiful apartment on the highest floor of the building, with floor to ceiling windows and enough room for two people. The living room and the kitchen were on an open space and on the back of the big space were three doors. On one door Zidian's name was written, in between was the bathroom and on the other door was Shuoyue's name written. 

Yanli and Zixuan were already checking the different cupboards and drawers, so Zidian just walked over to the window front and looked outside. And the view was just amazing, you could see the whole city beneath the window. 

“It seems like everything is really taken care of.” 

Zixuan noticed. 

“They even put your things in your room for you!” 

Zidian turned around and smiled at her future sister-in-law. 

“So let’s go grab something to eat, I’m starving!” 

Zixuan held her stomach and Zidian had to laugh. 

“Of course my love.” 

Yanli just said and kissed her at her temple. 

“What do you guys want to eat?” 

They quickly decided on a pizza place and had a fun and relaxing evening, before it was time for bed again. When Zidian went back to the apartment, she didn’t meet Shuoyue again. So she quietly went to the bathroom, got ready for bed and went to sleep. 

The next few days were filled with many fighting scenes and single shots. The main characters didn’t interact in the beginning very much, so most of the time Zidian didn’t even interact with Shuoyue. Even in the apartment both of them just kept for themselves, except for some polite exchange here and there. Maybe this time everything would be different? Maybe this time both of them will really just be acquaintances? Jiang Cheng really hoped so. Xichen deserved someone who could make him really happy, not someone who was so broken. 

Zidian just came back from a little shopping trip she had done after the shooting and was putting everything away. Jiang Cheng noticed how nervous she was, but he did understand it. Tomorrow was a really important day for the shooting. The first scene, where the main characters were about to interact, was going to be shot and Zidian would be in water for it. She just hoped that everything would be okay, that the shooting would happen without any complications but she still couldn’t calm down. 

So she started to clean the apartment, even putting on some music and singing along. She started with the bathroom, even cleaning the corners and going on her knees to get every little inch, then went to the kitchen and living room. Satisfied with her work, she made herself something quick to eat and took a shower. But before she could even call it a day and return to her bedroom, she heard some rapid knocks on the front door. Zidian looked at the clock, it was already nearly midnight. Just who could it be? Luckily just authorized people could get into the building but she was still cautious. But before she even could say anything, she heard a voice from behind the door. 

“A-Cheng! It’s me, Ziyao! Can you please open the door? A-Huan had a little too much to drink!” 

Zidian also heard some murmuring and quickly opened the door. And the scene in front of her was just unbelievable. Even for Jiang Cheng it was unbelievable! Shuoyue was heavily leaning against Ziyao, a smile on her face and wobbling really dangerously. Jiang Cheng never saw Lan Xichen drunk, Cloud Recess had a rule against drinking. And something told him that this was one of the reasons why. 

Shuoyue looked up and smiled brightly at Zidian. 

“A-CHENG! YOU’RE HERE!” 

She literally shouted and jumped into Zidian's arms. Reflexively Zidian caught her but didn’t know what to do. Just what was happening? And did she hear it right? Shuoyue called her ‘A-Cheng’? 

“Thank god, I really didn’t know just for how long I could hold on any longer. Please take care of her, I have to go home, I know that you can do it!” 

Ziyao just said with a wide grin and ran away while waving goodbye. Zidian was just dumbfounded. And Jiang Cheng really could kill someone just here and now. Just why did his versions always get into these kinds of situations?! 

Shuoyue began to hug Zidian even tighter and murmured 

“Mhn, my A-Cheng.” 

And of course Zidian's heart was starting to beat really fast. Oh no, no no no no NO! Please gods just no! Why was this happening over and over again?! Zidian tried to gather herself. 

“Ms Lan, please you have to let go of me.” 

Zidian tried to free herself from the hug but Shuoyue just hugged her even tighter. 

“No.” 

She pouted. And Zidian just lost her patience. 

“What do you mean ‘no’? You have to let go of me! We have a very important shoot tomorrow, don’t you remember?” 

Zidian snapped at Shuoyue but Shuoyue just didn’t let go. 

“No, it doesn't matter, I don’t want to.” 

Shuoyue turned her head around and her lips were dangerously near Zidian's ear. 

“Why do you hate me, A-Cheng? Did I do something wrong? I was so happy to finally work together with you, but you keep me a distance away from you. Do you really hate me so much?” 

Shuoyue's voice trembled and Zidian was just mortified! She never thought that Shuoyue would notice her jealousy and distant behavior. And now she felt really bad. Even Jiang Cheng felt bad, even if he didn’t want that kind of relationship he had with the other Xichens, he never wanted to make Xichen feel this way. Zidian just breathed in and out but it didn’t do anything for her fast beating heart. 

“Ms Lan, I don’t hate you. I am just jealous of you. You are better than me in everything and I somehow let the jealousy and anger get the better of me. I apologize for that. But I really don’t hate you, I don’t even know you enough to hate you. So please tell me, what can I do to make you feel better? We should really go to bed now, or we won’t be fit enough for tomorrow’s shooting.” 

Shuoyue buried her head in Zidian's shoulder again. 

“Please stop calling me Ms Lan, Ms Lan is my mother. Please just call me A-Huan. And can we spend some time together from now on? Maybe eat dinner together and watch some shows on TV? I really want to get to know you better.” 

Shuoyue whispered in a pleading manner and Zidian's heart just hurt. Jiang Cheng really didn’t like to hear Xichen's voice that way. Everything inside him wanted to comfort Xichen, to be there for him and to keep him safe. Jiang Cheng was really a lost cause, wasn’t he? 

“Okay, A-Huan. We can do that.” 

Zidian said quietly and hugged her back. Shuoyue instantly lifted her head and looked into Zidian's eyes, a big smile on her face. 

“Really?” 

She said with a hopeful look. 

“Yes, really.” 

Zidian just laughed. Shuoyue hugged Zidian again really tight and thanked her many times. 

“Okay, okay, enough of that! Let’s get you ready for bed. Can you walk?” 

Zidian asked. Shuoyue tried to walk, but it seemed like her legs weren’t cooperating. 

“I guess we don’t have another choice.” 

Zidian murmured and with a swift move she carried Shuoyue in bridal style into her arms to the bathroom. Shuoyue let out a little squeak. 

“A-CHENG! Am I not too heavy?” 

She asked while clutching her arms around Zidian's neck. Zidian just shook her head. 

“You’re really light, don’t worry.” 

Shuoyue smiled at her and it took Zidian's breath away. Shuoyue leaned her head against Zidians neck and closed her eyes and Zidian had the sudden urge to protect this person with all her might. And Jiang Cheng knew at that moment that it was already too late. Zidian already developed some feelings for this Xichen, maybe they were already there. And Jiang Cheng would just stand there and watch with his own eyes how another version of himself found their happiness again, while he was chased by past ghosts and all his sins and mistakes.

Zidian walked over to the bathroom with Shuoyue in her arms and helped her get ready for bed. Afterwards she carried her to her bedroom, helped her to change into her pajamas and tucked her in her bed. But before she could leave, Shuoyue grabbed her wrist. 

“Can you stay the night here? I don’t like to be alone on a night like this.” 

Shuoyue was looking at her with her puppy eyes and Zidian just couldn’t say no to that. 

“Okay.” 

She just said and motioned Shuoyue to make room for her. Shuoyue happily made her room and padded the place next to her. Zidian just rolled her eyes, turned off the lights and climbed into the bed next to Shuoyue. Zidian didn’t know what to do, so she just laid on her back and stared at the ceiling. But Shuoyue had other plans, she shuffled closer to Zidian, tucked her head between her head and shoulders and wrapped her arm and leg around Zidian's body. Zidian stiffed for a moment but relaxed shortly after, enjoying the closeness to another person. When was the last time Jiang Cheng slept so close to somebody else? It really felt good. 

The next morning Zidian even got up before her alarm. She was first confused about where she was and what happened but then she remembered everything. She slowly turned her head and Shuoyue was still sleeping deep and soundly next to her. Zidian slowly lifted the blanket but Shuoyue still had her arm around her. So Zidian slowly tried to lift the arm, making sure not to wake Shuoyue up and got slowly out of the bed. 

She quickly but quietly went to her room and grabbed her phone. It was 4:30 in the morning and in half an hour her alarm would go off. So she already got ready for the day and went to the kitchen. Shuoyue must have had a really bad hangover when she would wake up, so Zidian prepared some water and medicine and quickly grabbed some frozen lotus pork rib soup from the freezer. Her brother made some in advance, so Zidian could eat them whenever she wanted. So she prepared some for Shuoyue, because it was also the perfect meal for a hangover. 

Just before the soup was ready, Zidian heard some noise behind her. Shuoyue was standing in the doorway to her room, holding her head and closing her eyes. Zidian quickly turned off the stove and went over to her. 

“What time is it?” 

Shuoyue grunted. 

“Don’t worry, it’s still early. Here, let me help you to the couch, I already prepared some food and medicine for you.” 

Zidian said in a calm but commanding voice and took Shuoyue's hand. Zidian pushed Shuoyue onto the couch and went to the kitchen to grab the medicine and the big glass of water. 

“Here take this and I want you to drink this glass of water, till it’s empty. Okay?” 

Shuoyue just nodded, grabbed the medicine and water and did as she was told. After making sure that Shuoyue really drank everything Zidian went back to the kitchen, prepared two bowls of the soup and walked back to Shuoyue again. 

“Here, eat this, too. It will help you with your hangover.” 

Zidian put the bowls on the table and pushed one bowl in front of Shuoyue. Shuoyue luckily didn’t look like she was dying anymore but she had a guilty look on her face. 

“I’m so sorry for yesterday. I must’ve been really a disgrace and I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable or anything.” 

Shuoyue bowed and looked really upset. 

“Oh please, don’t worry about it! You didn’t do anything wrong and you weren’t a bother either. And please don’t worry, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. Do you remember what we talked about yesterday? I really meant it.” 

Zidian tried to smile reassuringly at Shuoyue. 

“You mean the talk about us spending more time together? You didn’t just say it so I could go to bed? You really mean it?” 

Shuoyue asked hopefully. Zidian chuckled. 

“Of course, I will never go back to my word. So please eat something or you won’t survive today’s shooting. And if you want, we can grab dinner after work?” 

Zidian asked shyly. Shuoyue smiled brightly at her. 

“Of course!” She breathed out. 

“I would love that.” 

They ate together in a comfortable silence and Shuoyue even insisted on doing the dishes because Zidian already cooked. 

“It’s just fair this way!” 

She just said and began to work, the hangover really seemed to be gone. Together they made their way to the studio, even making small talk before they had to go to their different dressing rooms. 

It was strange, yesterday Zidian was so stressed because of today, afraid she would do something wrong. But somehow the talk with Shuoyue calmed her down and she even looked forward to the scene. Even her brother commented that she looked calm and collected and wished her good luck, before disappearing backstage again. 

Zidian was again surrounded by the make up and hair team and they quickly got to work. She just had to wear short swim shorts and an undergarment for today’s shooting. Her hair was styled in a way so her bust was covered and even if she moved a lot the hair wouldn’t move. Even if Zidian wasn’t a hundred percent comfortable with showing so much skin, it wasn’t that bad.

After getting ready and stepping out, Zidian saw her brother frantically talking on a phone and walking up and down. After looking at Zidian he hung up and walked over to her. 

“I’m really sorry A-Cheng but the Wedding Coordinator just called. There is a problem that needs to be fixed quickly, so I won’t be here today.” 

Yanli said with worry in his voice. 

“Please, don’t worry about me, I’m already a big girl! Just do what you need to do, okay?”

Zidian smiled at her brother. Yanli smiled gratefully at his sister. 

“Thank you so much, you’re the best!” 

He said while giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“But promise me you will call me if anything goes wrong, okay?” 

Zidian just laughed. 

“I will, I promise, but now get going before you’re going to be late!” 

Yanli just smiled at her and walked quickly away. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Huaisang appeared suddenly beside her and Zidian flinched hard. 

“Just where did you come from?!” 

She scowled at Huaisang. 

“And yes, everything’s alright, just a little emergency regarding the wedding.” 

“Ah. I see. So you’re on your own today? That won’t do! I will gladly fill up your brother’s place so let me accompany you to the set!” 

Zidian couldn’t even say anything back, Huaisang was already walking. 

“Oh, did you hear? Someone from Wen Entertainment Industries is going to visit us today. So please be careful, okay? I don’t know why, but I don’t trust them, except for Wen Ning of course. But something is really fishy about them.” 

Huaisang whispered to Zidian and Zidian just nodded. She already heard the many rumors regarding the heirs of the Wen Entertainment Industries but she didn’t think anything about it. In the end rumors were just rumors, maybe they weren’t that bad? But Jiang Cheng knew better and wished he could just warn Zidian or move her body himself. But of course he was a prisoner without any power. 

Huaisang and Zidian arrived at the set and Ziyao was already talking to some people there. And Jiang Cheng instantly knew that these people were none other than Wen Ruohan and Wen Chao. Oh no, Jiang Cheng already knew something bad was going to happen. Even Zidian was intimidated by Wen Ruohan but tried to appear calm and collected. 

Wen Ruohan was still a man in this world, but Wen Chao was also a woman in this world and was already harassing the male crew. She really looked like Wang Lingjiao and it made Jiang Cheng vomit. Ziyao noticed Huaisang and Zidian and waved them over. 

“Ah, let me introduce you to one of our shining stars from this drama series. As you may already know, this is Zidian, one of our lead actresses.” 

Ziyao introduced Zidian and Zidian bowed. 

“Nice to meet you, Mister Wen.” 

She said with a polite but distant voice. Wen Ruohan was looking at her with disgustingly lustful eyes. 

“Aren’t you an exciting little thing.” 

He said while looking up and down at Zidian, literally undressing her with his eyes and licking his lips. Zidians fight or flight instinct just kicked in and she was so disgusted by the situation but didn’t know what to do. And Jiang Cheng could just kill him then and there! How dare he, how dare he behave this way?! Zidian was at the same age his daughter was and that was how he behaved? Disgusting little shit, Jiang Cheng really hoped he would burn in hell! Luckily Zidian didn’t have to do anything, because just in this moment Shuoyue appeared in front of her, literally covering Zidian's whole body with hers. 

“Ah, Mister Wen, nice to meet you here. My uncle already told me that you would visit us today. How have you been? How is your wife?” 

Shuoyue said with a smile but even Zidian noticed that it was forced. 

Shuoyue put her hand behind her back and motioned Huaisang and Zidian to go away from here. Huaisang just grabbed Zidian's arm, they said their quick goodbyes and walked over to the pool, where the lake scene would take place. 

“I’m so sorry for what happened back there!” 

Ziyao suddenly appeared beside Zidian and Zidian flinched hard again. 

“You and Huaisang really need some bells!” 

She scowled at him. 

“And you don’t have to be sorry, I know you also don’t want him there. I really thought the rumors were just exaggerating everything but I never thought them to be this true. Do they plan to stay for the whole day?” 

Ziyao just sighed. 

“Yes, unfortunately so. His daughter, Wen Chao, really wants to get into the entertainment industry but she just doesn’t have the talent for it. But of course her father can’t say no to her, so here they are. They hope that she can play a small role in this drama series. I just couldn’t say no but I also didn’t want to cast her into this series. So I came up with a plan just to invite them here for a day, hoping that it would be enough for now. But I never thought that Mister Ruohan would personally accompany her here.” 

Ziyao really looked devastated. So Huaisang just hugged him. 

“Yao-Ge, you did your best, don’t worry! We can do this together!” 

She tried to encourage him. And it worked, Ziyao just smiled at her. 

“Thank you so much, A-Sang. Yes, we can do this!” 

Ziyao explained the scene to Zidian, how he wanted Zidian to act and to pose but they were interrupted by Wen Ruohan and Shuoyue. Huaisang slowly went in front of Zidian without it being too suspicious and Shuoyue winked at them both. Why was she winking? 

“I have to excuse myself, something important came up and I have to go back to my company. I already called one of our bodyguards over to accompany my daughter. Thank you for showing me around and see you all the next time.” 

He tried to look at Zidian again but Huaisang and Shuoyue blocked his view. Wen Ruohan just shook his head and went away. After he was gone, Shuoyue let out a breath. 

“Puh, luckily that worked out.” 

Everyone was now looking at Shuoyue suspiciously. 

“Just what did you do?” 

Ziyao asked her but Shuoyue just laughed. 

“I didn’t do anything! I just wrote to my uncle that it would be a good time to have a little dinner with Wen Ruohan again, you know for work purposes?” 

Ziyao and Huaisang began to laugh really hard while Zidian was just dumbfounded. 

“Hahahaha, you’re really the best, Huan-Jie!” 

Huaisang clasped her shoulder. Shuoyue just waved her hand

“Like I said, I didn’t do anything.“ 

Ziyao talked about the scene again, how he wanted to have it and gave Zidian and Shuoyue some instructions. But they were again interrupted, this time by Wen Chao. 

“By any chance, is there anything I can do for this scene?” 

She asked hopefully while displaying her cleavage seductively. Ziyao and Huaisang just exchange a glance. 

“I’m afraid not, Ms Wen. But how about you take a seat beside our camera crew? So if we need your help we can call you, how does that sound?” 

“Thank you so much, Mister Jin!” 

Wen Chao touched Ziyao's arm and looked at him with fluttering eyes, showing again her cleavage in full display. Zidian just heard a snort behind her and saw how Huaisang tried to suppress a laugh. Ziyao just shot a glance at Huaisang. 

“Please, let me accompany you to your seat, Miss Wen.” 

Ziyao said while leading Wen Chao to her seat. He quickly turned his head to the group, made a throwing up gesture and turned around again. Even Zidian had to laugh now. 

They soon got ready for the first scene and Zidian put off her undergarments and climbed into the pool. She acted as if she was washing her body and her hair, like Ziyao told her so. 

“And ACTION!” 

Ziyao shouted and the cameras were now rolling. But before Zidian could even do anything, a phone just rang. 

“CUT! Whose phone is that?!” 

Ziyao shouted. 

“I’m sorry, it was mine!” 

Wen Chao tried to sound gullible but Zidian and even Jiang Cheng saw her little smirk. Something was wrong. Did she do it intentionally? Jiang Cheng was sure it was intentional but Zidian gave her the benefit of the doubt. 

“Don’t worry, Ms Wen, but I have to ask you to put your phone on silent.” 

Wen Chao just nodded and did as she was told. 

“Okay now, everyone get ready again! Aaaand ACTION!” 

Zidian was just about to say her first line but she was interrupted again, because now Wen Chao got up and got in front of the camera. 

“CUUT! Ms Wen, is everything alright?” 

“Yes, why shouldn’t it be?” 

Wen Chao tried to act all cute. 

“I’m sorry, unfortunately you’re in front of the camera so I have to ask you to sit on your seat again.” 

Wen Chao apologized and sat on her chair again, but the smirk didn’t disappear from her face. Zidian now knew that it was intentional but didn’t know what to do. And Jiang Cheng was just done. One time an asshole, always an asshole. They tried to resume filming for some more times but Wen Chao always interrupted them. So much so that even Ziyao's patience ran dry. 

“CUUT! A-Sang, can you come here quickly?” 

Ziyao shouted. Huaisang quickly ran over to him. 

“Ms Wen, would you like to see our different costumes? I’m sure A-Sang would even let you try some on, am I right A-Sang?” 

Ziyao pleaded with his eyes. A-Sang just rolled her eyes and mouthed “You owe me.” before turning to Wen Chao and grabbing her arm. 

“Come, Ms Wen, I just have the perfect costume for you, let me put it on you!” 

And before Wen Chao could even protest, she was pulled away by Huaisang and everyone just breathed a sigh of relief. Ziyao walked over to Zidian and knelt down. 

“How are you doing? Do you need a break? The water must have gone cold in the meantime. Do you want to take a quick break to warm you up?” 

He asked worried. But Zidian just shook her head and tried to smile reassuringly. Even if she was really cold and started to tremble slightly. 

“I’m fine and I just want to finish this scene.” 

Why was she just so stubborn? Jiang Cheng thought to himself. But she really couldn’t blame her, he was as stubborn as her, the many sleepless nights just to get more work done were enough evidence. Ziyao still looked at her worriedly but just nodded. 

“Okay everyone get ready, let’s just finish this scene and call it a day! Aaaand ACTION!” 

Luckily after the many interruptions the scene was filmed and they were finished for the day. Shuoyue ran over to Zidian and held up a hand to help her out of the pool. Zidian thankfully took the hand and climbed out of the pool but before she could even take a step she felt dizzy. She just heard how someone was calling her name before she just fainted. 

Zidian slowly woke up again and groaned. Her head was just throbbing and hurting. Just what happened to her? And then she remembered it again, she fainted. But where was she now? She slowly opened her eyes and the familiar ceiling of her room greeted her. Did someone bring her back to the apartment? 

At that moment someone entered her room and, noticing that Zidian was awake, quickly walked over to her. It was Shuoyue, carrying a tray with food and putting it on Zidian’s nightstand. 

“You’re awake.” 

Shuoyue breathed out and looked relieved but still a little worried. Zidian tried to sit up, but couldn’t. Shuoyue, noticing Zidian's struggle, helped her up and placed more pillows behind her back. 

“Please be careful.” 

She just said and grabbed a bowl with rice porridge. Zidian took the bowl from Shuoyue and thanked her. 

“I already called your brother and reassured him that I would take care of you. So you don’t have to worry about anything, just concentrate on getting better, okay?” 

Shuoyue looked deep into Zidian's eyes while she patted her head. Zidian's heart skipped a beat and her face got warm. But it felt nice being taken care of. Zidian always did everything by herself, even if her brother tried to help as much as he could. And Jiang Cheng? Every person who would take care of him was already dead and he didn’t have anybody else. But being taken care of like that? Even Jiang Cheng couldn’t deny that it felt nice. 

Zidian averted Shuoyue's glances and began to eat. 

“Did you bring me back here?” 

She asked with a small voice. She still couldn’t look into Shuoyue's eyes, afraid she would see something she didn’t want to see. But Shuoyue did have a different plan and began to cup her cheek, stroking her high cheekbones. Zidian couldn’t help but to look into Shuoyue's eyes and saw so much adoration and love that it took her breath away. 

“Yes, yes I did. You didn’t even manage to take a step before you fainted. Luckily I caught you just in time. Ziyao quickly brought a blanket to keep you warm and I carried you here, helped you get changed and put you in your bed. But please don’t think that you owe me anything because of it, just see it as thanks for yesterday, okay?” 

Shuoyue smiled warmly at Zidian and patted her head. Zidian just nodded and finished eating. She didn’t know what to do with these feelings. All these years she was so jealous and angry at Shuoyue just because she was better in everything than her. But she got the chance to get to know her better and these feelings just disappeared. Instead fondness, affection and love blossomed. And Zidian was afraid, afraid to act on these feelings. She couldn’t even open her mouth and talk, she still had to process everything. 

Shuoyue took the bowl from Zidian and put it aside. Then she helped Zidian to lay down on her bed again. 

“Try to get some more sleep and rest well. Ziyao already gave everyone a break for tomorrow so don’t worry about that. Just concentrate on getting better, okay?” 

Zidian just nodded and Shuoyue patted her head again and gave a quick kiss on her forehead. 

“Sleep well, A-Cheng.” 

She said before walking out of the room and Zidian just buried herself under the blankets. Just what was that?! These feelings really confused Zidian. And Jiang Cheng? He was just done. Done with his life, done with these worlds, done with the same things happening over and over again and done with this stupid punishment. 

He just wanted to go home, go home to Jin Ling, hug him tight and showering with all the love he deserved. He wanted to visit his family in the ancestral hall, wanted to beg for forgiveness for being such a failure and terrible son. Hell he even wanted to see Wei Wuxian again, tell him everything he couldn’t do before and maybe they could be brothers again? But no, he was stuck here, in an unknown world with versions of all the people he knew but who acted so differently, where everyone but him got his happy end. But what else could he do? He was bound to this body. 

Zidian was sleeping soundly but a buzzing sound woke her up. She was confused at first but noticed that it was her phone. Thinking that it had to be something important she unlocked her phone and looked at it. But what she saw wasn’t just some messages. It was one gossip article after the other. Just what had happened? She really didn’t want to but her curiosity got the better of her and she clicked on the first link she got sent. And she regretted it instantly. 

Somehow pictures of the set and of the first days of filming got leaked and the photos really looked like Zidian and Shuoyue didn’t get along. The article itself was just a shit show of some dumb ass accusations and assumptions but it already had done some damage. Zidian already got many hate messages through her social media platforms, comments after comments telling her the worst things. It was really really bad! But the worst came after that. While scrolling through the article and comments another article got recommended to her. 

And these photos just broke her heart. In the photos were Ziyao and Shuoyue, really close to each other and in some photos it also looked like they were making out in a hidden alleyway. The article was talking about a rumored relationship between these two and how fitting they were for each other. Even the fans started to ship them together and Zidian just stared at the photos. 

The last time Jiang Cheng felt such pain was when he saw how some Wen Soldiers got too close to his brother and how he decided to lure them to him instead. It really hurt and his heart was crying in pain. Was everything a lie? A single tear fell on her phone and Zidian just curled up and buried her head into her arms and knees. How could she just let these feelings grow? Of course it wouldn’t go the way she wanted. Of course Shuoyue already had someone like that. Just what was she thinking? 

Her phone was buzzing again but luckily this time it was just her brother calling her. So she picked up her phone and put it on her ear. 

“A-Cheng, are you alright? Did you already read the articles?” 

Yanli sounded really frantic and worried. Zidian opened her mouth but couldn’t say anything. 

“Oh my dear A-Cheng, please don’t worry. A-Yao and I already planned a press conference for the next morning, addressing all these stupid accusations and assumptions. Zixuan and I are also already on our way to you, so don’t worry, okay? Just make sure you get better for tomorrow!” 

Zidian just managed to bring out a small okay before Yanli said goodbye, reassuring her again that everything would be alright. Zidian slowly laid back into her bed again, pulling the blanket over her head and crying silently into her sleep. The day was really just exhausting and she just couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. 

Zidian had a dreamless sleep until she heard something. It sounded like Shuoyue was calling for her but she wasn’t sure if she was just imagining it. Somebody was caressing her cheeks, murmuring reassuring and loving things into her ear and it really sounded like Shuoyue. Was she so delusional that she would even dream about something like that? But either way it helped her to sleep better and she fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. 

The next time she woke up it was already the next morning, the first sun rays of the day welcoming her through her window. Zidian slowly woke up and looked at her watch. It was already eight o’clock. When was the press conference again? She didn’t remember it. Either way she started to slowly get up and noticed that she already felt a lot better physically. But emotionally she was just so exhausted. Yesterday was just too much. 

Still she made her way to the bathroom, took a quick shower and got ready for the day. After that she went to the kitchen and saw her brother and sister-in-law already waiting for her at the dining table. 

“A-Cheng!” 

Yanli exclaimed and walked over to her. He pulled her into a crushing embrace.

“Oh my A-Cheng, everything will be alright, okay?” 

Yanli pulled away and pushed Zidian onto a chair. 

“Ziyao and Shuoyue are already at the conference room, where the press conference will take place. We also already prepared a script for you for any questions the reporters could ask, so just read them and try to memorize them, okay? Don’t worry, we all will protect you.”

Yanli caressed her cheek. Zidian breathed in and out and nodded. Yanli took her hands. 

“We already prepared an outfit for you. So get ready and let’s do this!” 

Yanli looked at her watch. 

“We still have around an hour till the press conference, I will prepare a quick breakfast and then we can go to the conference hall, okay?” 

Zidian again just nodded, took the clothes and went into her bedroom to get changed. Her brother picked a beautiful pastel violet dress for her and it fitted her like a glove. Zidian really looked beautiful in it. She quickly but effectively put her hair into a high ponytail and put on light make up, appropriate for a press conference. After getting ready she ate a quick breakfast with her brother and Zixuan and all of them got into the car and Yanli drove them to the press conference. 

Zidian already saw many press people waiting in front of the building. But luckily there was a hidden back entrance where Yanli could park his car in secret. Some security members accompanied them to the building, where Ziyao, Huaisang, Ning and Shuoyue already were waiting for them. 

“So we’re all complete now, let’s do this! Let us show these stupid press people that you just don’t mess with us!” 

Ziyao exclaimed and walked over to the meeting room. Everyone else followed him but before Zidian could follow him, too, Shuoyue grabbed her arm. 

“A-Cheng, no matter what happens there, please just be yourself and don’t lie to yourself. Even if your feelings are different from what is expected from you, just be yourself, okay? Can you promise me that?” 

Zidian was just confused. 

“What’s the meaning of this?” 

She asked harshly. 

“You will soon know what I mean, but please can you promise me that you will act after how you really feel?” 

Shuoyue was looking at her with her pleading eyes and Zidian just couldn’t say no.

“Okay, I promise.” 

Zidian said and looked away. 

“Thank you so much.” 

She heard from Shuoyue and suddenly Shuoyue took her hand and held it really tight. Zidian was even more confused than before but she didn’t want to let it go. A small smile formed on Shuoyue's face. Both of them went to the meeting room, still hand in hand, and stepped onto the stage. Ziyao, Huaisang, Yanli and Ning were already seated while Zixuan was waiting backstage. And of course a lot of photos were taken the moment they stepped onto the stage. Zidian and Shuoyue took their seat right in the middle of the long table, her eyes still hurting from all the camera flashes. Ziyao raised his hand, stood up and made everyone stop.

“Thank you to everyone for coming even for such a short notice. I’m sure you all have many questions about the photos and articles that were released this morning. Don’t worry, we will all answer your questions. But before we go over them, we have some announcements to make. The first one involves myself.” 

The room got really silent and you could downright feel the tension. 

“As many of you already guessed, I am in a relationship with a really wonderful person. This person means so much to me and I would do anything for them. This person was there for me when I was at my lowest and always supported me no matter what. We’ve been together for four years already but everyday feels like the first day we got together, with the exception that my love for this person grew even stronger and stronger the more time had passed.”

Ziyao pulled a box from his pocket and Zidian's heart was crying in pain. So was it true? Were Ziyao and Shuoyue really in a relationship for so long?

“Of course the only logical thing for the next step is to make this person my spouse for life.” 

Ziyao dropped to one knee, but it wasn’t in front of Shuoyue like everyone thought, it was in front of Huaisang! You could hear a loud gasp through the mass of reporters. 

“A-Sang, I can’t imagine my life without you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honor and take me as your husband and make me the happiest man alive?” 

Huaisang just began to cry and nodded her head like crazy while jumping into Ziyao's arms. Suddenly everyone was clapping and congratulating the new engaged couple and Zidian was just dumbfounded. Just what had happened? Even Jiang Cheng was just speechless. Just what? Was this really real? Zidian pinched herself discreetly and it was really real! So this really happened? What a crazy world! Ziyao happily put the engagement ring onto Huaisang's ring finger and hugged her tight again, while kissing her head. After a while they pulled out from the hug and Ziyao grabbed the microphone again. 

“Thank you so much for all of the congratulations. Originally I planned something completely different for the proposal, but after all these articles I just couldn’t risk my fiancée to get the wrong idea. But don’t worry darling, I already booked a romantic getaway for us two after the shooting!” 

Ziyao winked at Huaisang. 

“For the next announcement I hand over the word to one of our leading actresses, Shuoyue!” 

Ziyao announced and Shuoyue stood up while everyone was clapping. 

“Thank you so much Ziyao and again congratulations on your engagement! I wish you both just the best!” 

She smiled at the happy couple. 

“Like Ziyao already said, I also have an announcement to make and it involves a really important person for me.” 

Shuoyue turned to Zidian and looked at her. 

“A-Cheng, could you do me a favor and stand up for me?” 

Zidian just stared at her and automatically stood up. Shuoyue looked deep into her eyes, took her hand and smiled at her. 

“A-Cheng, I have had a crush on you since the first time I saw you on TV. You were the reason why I wanted to become an actress. You inspired and motivated me so much through my whole career. And then I learned that we would finally be in a TV show together and I was so happy and excited. But the first few days you were really polite but distant and I thought that I did something to offend you. But then we had the chance to really talk and you told me that you didn’t hate me and that you also wanted to get to know me better. You even took care of me and cooked for me when I couldn’t do it myself. And I just knew I just had to spend the rest of my life with you. We grew even closer, but then you got sick, these rumors started and I thought I lost everything again. So I thought why not risk everything? What do I have to lose?” 

Shuoyue took a deep breath and Zidian just couldn’t look away from her. 

“A-Cheng, my A-Cheng, I really really like you so much. I want to get to know you better and I want to spend more time with you, even after the shooting ends. Will you go out with me?”

Zidian was just speechless. Did this really happen? Was she dreaming? No, this was really real! But it was like a cat got her tongue, she just couldn’t say anything. Shuoyue began to look more and more hopeless and her smile looked more and more sad. No, Zidian couldn’t let that happen, she had to do something, anything! 

Jiang Cheng's heart was hurting so much from all these different emotions and he just hoped that Zidian acted fast! But Jiang Cheng knew Zidian, so he knew what was coming now. He tried to prepare himself and breathed in and out. He could do this, this person wasn’t him. Zidian deserved happiness, he didn’t. They both were two completely different people. Zidian finally moved, grabbed the front of Shuoyue, pulled her closer to herself and gave her a crushing kiss. But like before, before Jiang Cheng even could feel the kiss, he was pushed out of the body. He just saw how Shuoyue kissed Zidian back, crushing her in her embrace before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen slowly opened his eyes and again the now familiar darkness welcomed him. He wasn’t confused like the first time, he knew what was coming next. But somehow he wasn’t really mad about it, he somehow even enjoyed it! It was so refreshing to see the different versions of himself in different worlds, doing things he never imagined to do and experiencing their happy endings. Even if it was a bittersweet feeling, this was in any case better than his life in seclusion. So he waited patiently, excited what would come next! And there it was, the influx of information and pictures just were purred into his head. And Lan Xichen just laughed after it was over! Oh how exciting was that? Still, Lan Xichen tried to sort the information and get the bigger picture. 

Lan Xichen was still Lan Xichen, 26 years old and still had his parents, a sibling and his uncle still. He lived in a similar world like A-Huan, so there weren’t any cultivation or sects. That wasn’t the exciting part. The exciting part was that this Lan Xichen wasn’t a man, he was a woman! Even his brother, or should he say his sister, was a woman in this world! And this Lan Xichen, whose artist name was Shuoyue, was a well known and famous actress! Her parents owned a talent agency and her uncle was her manager. 

She also already was friends with Mingjue and A-Yao, even went to the same school internationally with them. A-Yao became a really famous director and Mingjue, who was also a woman in this world, became her personal bodyguard. 

The Lan Wangji of this world of course already found the Wei Wuxian of this world, both also women and famous actresses, and they were now traveling around the world and leading many charities. 

Lan Xichen tried to think about the relationship Shuoyue had with this world's Jiang Cheng and was happy to notice that Jiang Cheng played an important role in her life. This world Jiang Cheng, whose artist name was Zidian, was the reason why Shuoyue even became an actress. The first time Shuoyue saw Zidian on TV, she was just enchanted. She didn’t know it at that time, but that was the moment she fell in love. So Shuoyue did her best and was now one of the most sought-after actresses. But she didn’t have the opportunity to work with Zidian, their meetings till now were polite but distant. But that was just until now, because Shuoyue just learned that she would be the second lead actress in an upcoming drama series, and the first lead actress was Zidian! Shuoyue couldn’t wait to get to know her better and Xichen was just happy to get to see Jiang Cheng again! 

After that Xichen tried to concentrate on his other senses. But he soon noticed that Shuoyue was already slowly waking up. Even Lan Xichen felt it, the Lan Clock was as perfect as ever. Lan Xichen didn’t even have to look at the clock to know what time it was. Shuoyue got up and ready and Lan Xichen could catch a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. And he was surprised, even if Shuoyue was a woman, she didn’t look that much different than Lan Xichen. Still the same height, the same face and the same long hair. The only difference was really that she had a little more curves but that was it. Shuoyue just put her backpack on her back, when her phone rang. 

“Er-Jie!” 

Xichen could hear Ziyao from the other line. 

“Are you ready for today?” 

Shuoyue affirmed that. 

“That’s good, that’s good! I just wanted to call you on a different matter, I have a big surprise for you! So thank me later okay?” 

Shuoyue was confused but before she could even say anything, Ziyao already said his goodbyes and hung up. What was that? Xichen didn’t know if the surprise would be a good thing or not. Shuoyue just shrugged and left her apartment. Outside her uncle and Mingjue were already waiting for her. 

“Uncle, Da-Jie!” 

Shuoyue ran up to them and gave them a hug. 

“Thank you for picking me up!” 

After the greetings they all got into the car and drove to the filming studio. But they were soon caught in traffic and Shuoyue became jittery and nervous. Hopefully they wouldn’t be that late. Was this a bad sign? Shuoyue and Xichen hoped not! After some time they finally managed to arrive at the studio, greeted every staff member and were quickly brought up to the meeting room. Shuoyue knocked at the door and shortly after Ziyao opened the door. 

“Excuse me, I’m a little late. I hope I didn’t miss too much?” 

Shuoyue asked. 

“No, not at all! We just started, come in!” 

Ziyao exclaimed. 

“Please take a seat and we can start with the introductions!” 

Shuoyue thanked Ziyao and saw that Zidian was already there. Shuoyue's heart started to beat really fast and Xichen was really excited! And luck was on Shuoyue's side because the seat right opposite of Zidian was empty. So she made a quick decision and sat right opposite of Zidian. Maybe they could even talk more this time? Her Uncle and Mingjue followed and they sat left and right of her. 

Shuoyue noticed that Zidian was glancing at her and was already happy. Maybe she also wanted to talk to her, too? So she smiled brightly at her, but Zidian just turned away and looked at Ziyao again. And Shuoyue's heart broke a little. But she wouldn’t let this get her down! Until Zidian said it herself that she didn’t want anything to do with Shuoyue, she would do her best to befriend her! And Xichen really hoped that it would work for these two. He still regretted how it went with Sect Leader Jiang in his world, so he hoped that in this world it would be different, too. 

“Okay now we’re all present, I’d like to start with introductions again!” 

Ziyao said cheerfully. 

“As many of you know, my name is Ziyao and I will be the director of this drama series. Wen Ning”, Ziyao pointed to his left, “is the scriptwriter and came up with this wonderful idea for the drama series.” 

Wen Ning bowed lightly while the other applauded. 

“And of course our two shining stars: Shuoyue and Zidian!” 

Shuoyue also bowed lightly while the others applauded. 

“As you already read in the job description, you both will stay at an apartment nearby while the filming takes place. It is just more convenient this way.” 

Ziyao winked at Shuoyue and she became mortified! Was this the big surprise Ziyao mentioned? Would she survive to live with her crush in the same apartment? But Xichen was delighted! This would be the best opportunity to bring these two together! Ziyao kept talking. 

“We already built the necessary sets for the different scenes, so travel won’t be necessary. Your first stop will be our personal fashion designer, who is none other than Nie Huaisang, to make sure that the costumes fit right. After the fitting you will be brought to our photo studio to take some promotional pictures. We will also announce the second lead to the public today, a countdown on the website of the drama series is already counting down! After the shooting you can go to your apartment and make yourself at home there. If you have any other questions, just ask me, Wen Ning or any other employees here at the studio. They will gladly help you!” 

Ziyao explained. 

“Do you have any other questions?” 

After all the people present denied this, everybody stood up and Ziyao led them to the fashion area of this studio. Nie Huaisang was already waiting there, commanding her assistants for different tasks and observing everything closely. And Xichen had to admit it to himself that Huaisang was really beautiful as a woman, even if she didn’t really seem to look that different from her manly form. Even if he still felt guilt and anger towards Huaisang, he still saw Nie Huaisang as a little brother. So seeing this Nie Huaisang so happy and carefree healed something in his heart. Nie Huaisang turned around and her whole face lit up. 

“Da-Jie, Yao-Ge!” 

She smiled and ran up to the group, hugging both her sister and Ziyao. 

“We can finally work together, how long did I wait for this moment!” 

Huaisang exclaimed. She turned around and looked at Zidian. 

“Oh my goodness, you’re even more beautiful than on TV!” 

She took Zidian's hand and Shuoyue felt a ping of jealousy. Why was it that Nie Huaisang was already so close to Zidian, while she was stuck in this damn polite distance? Maybe she also had to be more forward? And Xichen could totally understand Shuoyue's frustrations, but he really hoped that this was just a matter of time. Nie Huaisang was still gushing about Zidian.

“I just know you will look good in the costumes I designed! Let’s go try them on!” 

Huaisang pulled at Zidian's hand and the rest followed them. Everyone was giggling because of Nie Huaisang's antics but Shuoyue still felt jealous, so she just smiled politely. Huaisang pushed Zidian into a dressing room and gave her the first costume. Huaisang then said something to Zidian and closed the blinds of the dressing room. 

“Er-Jie, you’re of course next!” 

Huaisang suddenly grabbed Shuoyue's hand and pushed her into the other dressing room. 

“I already know you will look awesome in the costume! If you need any help, just call me, okay?” 

She just said before closing the blinds. Shuoyue couldn’t help herself and just chuckled and even Xichen had to laugh. This was the Huaisang he knew and he was so glad that this Huaisang didn’t change. Shuoyue quickly put on the first costume and Xichen could’ve cried here and then. Because this costume was exactly like his garments from his world, even with the same headband and colors! He didn’t even realize how he missed this so much!

Suddenly it became too much for Xichen, he missed his family, his uncle and his brother, he missed his sect and he missed his old life. Even if he enjoyed this journey until now, would the rest of his life be this way? Without a chance to apologize, to see the happiness of his brother and to take over the sect leadership again? He really hoped that he could at least see his family again, but maybe that was too much for a wish.

Shuoyue stepped out of the dressing room and at the same time someone also stepped out of the neighboring dressing room. Shuoyue immediately turned around and Zidian just took her breath away. She was really beautiful and the violet of the costume really brought out her beauty even more. 

And even Xichen was just speechless. In the back of his mind he always had a little doubt, maybe he was just caught up in the moment, maybe these feelings for Sect Leader Jiang were just a farce, developed under special circumstances. But seeing Zidian in the familiar way, it still took his breath away. Xichen was already too far gone, wasn’t he? 

“Oh wow, you both look just perfect! These costumes really fit you both!” 

Huaisang said and brought Shuoyue back to the here and now. Huaisang was circling them both and nodded in approval. 

“No adjustment needed, please try the other costumes!” 

So Shuoyue tried them all on. There were two costumes in total, one was the formal costume and one was a battle costume. After making sure that the costumes really fitted right, Shuoyue had to change to the first costume again. The promotional photo shooting was the next thing she had to do. 

“Please call the make up and hair team here!” 

Huaisang commanded one of her assistants. Zidian and Shuoyue were brought to separate rooms and not long after Shuoyue was surrounded by a make up and hair team. They put stuff on her face, pulled on her hair and finally they were done. Afterwards Shuoyue was brought up to the photo shooting set and saw how Zidian also arrived at the set. Shuoyue couldn’t help herself, she smiled at Zidian happily and walked over to her. Xichen was also eager to finally spend more time with Zidian. 

“Hey! I’m so happy to finally work on a project with you, I’ve been your fan for a long time now!” 

Shuoyue just blurted out before she could stop herself. But she couldn’t help it, she waited for so long to finally work together with her and she also wanted to get to know her better! Xichen noticed how big Zidians eyes got and she didn’t say anything for a while. Slowly Shuoyue's smile faltered and she got unsure. Did she say something wrong? But luckily Zidian broke the silence. 

“Thank you so much, but my talents are nothing against you Ms Lan. I apologize in advance if I take longer in some things and I hope you can lead me in my first leading role journey.”

Zidian said politely but distant again, bowed and walked over to the green-screen area. And Shuoyue's heart just shattered. And Xichen's heart screamed in pain. Did Zidian really hate her that much? How Zidian acted with Shuoyue and how she acted with others, the difference was clear as a sunny day. But still, Shuoyue and Xichen hoped that all of this was just a big misunderstanding. Unfortunately today they would just take some single shots, so Shuoyue didn’t get another chance to talk with Zidian. But maybe they could go to the apartment together? But before she even could ask Zidian, Zidian just disappeared with her brother. 

Suddenly someone threw an arm around her. 

“Why the long face, A-Huan?” 

Mingjue asked and poked her cheek. A-Yao also suddenly appeared beside her. 

“Da-Jie, she is just pouting because her crush didn’t want to talk to her.” 

He teased. 

“A-Yao!” 

Shuoyue slapped his arm. 

“That’s not really nice!” 

A-Yao just laughed and waved his hand. 

“Whatever, but you know that I’m right! I already gave you an opportunity to talk with her more, so please do something about it! I had enough of your pining, so take the step forward and just confess already!” 

Ziyao slapped Shuoyue's arm back. 

“Easy for you to say Mister ‘I-can’t-be-in-love-with-her-she-is-like-a-sister-to-me’! Only because Da-Jie and I had pushed you to finally realize and confess your feelings, you are together with A-Sang now! Don’t forget it!” 

Shuoyue said back and Ziyao had the audacity to look bashful. 

“Okay, okay, I give up. We’re both just idiots. But please just take the change, okay? I really just wish you the happiness you deserve.” 

Ziyao smiled at Shuoyue. Shuoyue just sighed. 

“I’ll try my best, but if she really doesn’t want to talk to me, I can’t just force her to do it.”

 Mingjue gave her a sidehug. 

“I’m sure everything will be alright, okay? And if you need some distraction you know A-Yao and me will always be there for you!” 

“Thank you, both of you.” 

Shuoyue just said. 

“By the way, where is my uncle?” 

She asked. 

“Something came up and he had to go back to the agency. But don’t worry, I will accompany you to your new apparent, okay?” 

Mingjue answered so they said their goodbyes to Ziyao and the crew and went to the apartment. 

It was a really beautiful apartment on the highest floor of the building, with floor to ceiling windows and enough room for two people. The living room and the kitchen were on an open space and on the back of the big space were three doors. On one door Zidian's name was written, in between was the bathroom and on the other door was Shuoyue's name written. It seemed like everything was taken care of and even her stuff was already in her room.

“Let me cook something for you really quick and then get some rest, okay?” 

Mingjue said and Shuoyue just nodded. So both of them ate while talking about everything and anything and soon Mingjue went home again with promises to meet up tomorrow again. Zidian still didn’t come back to the apartment. Shuoyue just sighed, got ready for bed and went to sleep. Maybe the next few days would be better? 

The next few days were filled with many fighting scenes and single shots. The main characters didn’t interact in the beginning very much, so unfortunately Shuoyue didn’t have many interactions with Zidian. Even in the apartment Zidian just quickly disappeared in her room and they never really talked, except for some polite exchange here and there. And Shuoyues felt more and more hopeless and looked even more and more sad. 

So much so that one day after a shooting Mingjue and Ziyao just grabbed her and took her away to help her get distracted. 

“We’re going drinking now!”

They exclaimed and before Shuoyue could even protest they were already on their way to a special bar, where they would stay hidden from the public. So the ideal place to really get drunk without any consequences. Ziyao quickly found them a place to sit and already ordered the first round of drinks. 

“You know that I can’t drink, right? Or did you forget the last time I was drunk?” 

“Of course I remember it, but I think that’s just what you need right now! So just let go and have a drink, I promise you, you will feel a lot better, alright?” 

Even if Shuoyue wasn’t a hundred percent convinced she still wanted to just let things go, just for one day. So she grabbed her first drink and was of course instantly drunk. Lan Xichen expected this, he wasn’t any different while drunk. He really hoped nothing bad would happen, because when he got drunk he got really emotional and affectionate and the bad thing was that he still remembered everything the day after. That was why Lan Xichen didn’t drink that much and that was why the Lan Rule was there in the first place. Every Lan just got drunk too fast. 

“DA-JIE! A-YAO! WHY DOESN’T ZIDIAN LIKE MEEEEEE!” 

And there it was. Shuoyue was now wailing and crying her eyes out. 

“A-Yao, I think you made a mistake.” 

Mingjue just said while trying to keep Shuoyue upwards. Lan Xichen could see that even A-Yao was starting to feel bad. 

“I just thought she would get affectionate with us again, I never thought that she would cry this much!” 

Mingjue just held her head. 

“I think it’s better that we call it a day. I don’t think she is going to last.” 

“A-YAO, DA-JIE, WHY ARE YOU SO MEEEEEAAAAN?! DO YOU BOTH HATE ME TOOOO?!”

Shuoyue cried and cried. 

“Of course not, A-Huan, you’re our best friend! And I’m sure that even Zidian likes you, so let’s go back to her, okay?” 

A-Yao tried to console Shuoyue and it seemed to work. 

“I’m going to see Zidian?! Why are we still sitting here! Let’s go!” 

Shuoyue got up suddenly and nearly fell down if Mingjue didn’t hold her back. 

“Okay, okay we’re already going.” 

She said while grabbing Shuoyue's arm and slinging it over her shoulder. 

“Ah, what a day!” 

A-Yao just commented and grabbed the other arm. Together they made their way outside. 

“Here, grab her quickly, I have to get the car first.” 

Mingjue said and A-Yao nearly fell down with Shuoyue. 

“DA-JIE!” 

He just shouted but Mingjue was already gone. Shuoyue began to hug A-Yao really tight and laid her head on his shoulder. 

“Do you think Zidian really hates me?” 

She asked with a small voice. 

“Ah, A-Huan, of course not. I’ve known A-Cheng for longer now and she is just more shy to people she doesn’t know. Why don’t you invite her out for dinner or something, hm? I’m sure she wouldn’t say no.” 

A-Yao consoled him. 

“And you’re not lying?” 

Shuoyue asked and A-Yao just grabbed her face, so they could talk face to face. 

“When did I ever lie to you, hm? I’m sure you both will get along, that was the reason why I casted you both as the main leads in the first place!” 

Shuoyue smiled brightly and just nodded. Xichen didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he really missed the friendship with A-Yao. He always thought that they had a special bond, they had so much in common and his death just destroyed him like the death of Mingjue did. But it felt so wrong to grieve such a horrible person. But seeing this A-Yao? He was just glad he got to experience it. At that moment Mingjue's car pulled up and both A-Yao and Shuoyue climbed in. 

They quickly arrived at the housing building and A-Yao helped Shuoyue up to her apartment. 

“Where are your keys?” 

He asked but Shuoyue didn’t answer. He really hoped that Zidian was still awake! So he rapidly knocked on the door, in hopes that Zidian would open the door. 

“A-Cheng! It’s me, Ziyao! Can you please open the door? A-Huan had a little too much to drink!” 

Shuoyue of course reacted while hearing the name and luckily Zudian quickly opened the door. Suddenly Shuoyue spoke up. 

“A-CHENG! YOU’RE HERE!” 

She literally shouted and jumped into Zidian's arms. It felt really good to be held by Zidian, Shuoyue and Xichen really could use it, even if the circumstances weren’t that ideal. 

“Thank god, I really didn’t know just for how long I could hold on any longer. Please take care of her, I have to go home, you can do it!” 

Shuoyue just heard A-Yao say but she couldn’t care less. She was finally in her beloved arms.Shuoyue began to hug Zidian even tighter and murmured.

 “Mhn, my A-Cheng.” 

And Xichen became mortified. Maybe that was too much? But he couldn’t control Shuoyue unfortunately. He just hoped that this wouldn’t destroy the relationship even further. 

“Ms Lan, please you have to let go of me.” 

Shuoyue heard Zidian say and noticed how she wanted to let go of the hug. But Shuoyue couldn’t have that so she hugged her even tighter. 

“No.” 

She pouted. She really didn’t want to let go and the polite distance was again just too much! 

“What do you mean ‘no’? You have to let go of me! We have a very important shooting tomorrow, don’t you remember?” 

Zidian said louder but Shuoyue couldn’t care less. She still didn’t let go. 

“No, it doesn't matter, I don’t want to.” 

Shuoyue turned her head around and breathed in Zidian’s amazing smelling scent. Just why were they so distant. And before she could stop herself the question already left her mouth. 

“Why do you hate me, A-Cheng? Did I do something wrong? I was so happy to finally work together with you, but you keep me a distance away from you. Do you really hate me so much?”

Shuoyue's voice trembled and she could just cry again. Did Zidian really hate her so much? Xichen really hoped that there was an explanation for this. He just couldn’t believe that Zidian would hate Shuoyue without any reason. 

“Ms Lan, I don’t hate you. I am just jealous of you. You are better than me in everything and I somehow let the jealousy and anger get the better of me. I apologize for that. But I really don’t hate you, I don’t even know you enough to hate you. So please tell me, what can I do to make you feel better? We should really go to bed now, or we won’t be fit enough for tomorrow’s shooting.” 

Zidian murmured and Shuoyue was so relieved! Zidian didn’t hate her! And Xichen should have known that something like this was the reason. Jiang Cheng was always a prideful man. Shuoyue buried her head in Zidian's shoulder again. 

“Please stop calling me Ms Lan, Ms Lan is my mother. Please just call me A-Huan. And can we spend some time together from now on? Maybe eat dinner together and watch some shows on TV? I really want to get to know you better.” 

Shuoyue whispered in a pleading manner and Xichen was really impressed! Maybe it was really a good idea that she got drunk? That way she could just say the things she couldn’t say sober! 

“Okay, A-Huan. We can do that.” 

Zidian said quietly and hugged her back. Shuoyue instantly lifted her head and looked into Zidian's eyes, a big smile on her face. 

“Really?” 

She said with a hopeful look. 

“Yes, really.” 

Zidian just laughed. Shuoyue hugged Zidian again really tight and thanked her many times. 

“Okay, okay, enough of that! Let’s get you ready for bed. Can you walk?” 

Zidian asked. Shuoyue tried to walk, but it seemed like her legs weren’t cooperating. And Xichen was even more embarrassed. He was so glad that Zidian didn’t hate Shuoyue, but of course she had to make a fool of herself. Shuoyue heard Zidian murmur. 

“I guess we don’t have another choice.” 

Suddenly Shuoyue was carried in bridal style into Zidian's arms to the bathroom. Shuoyue let out a little squeak. 

“A-CHENG!Am I not too heavy?” 

She asked with concern. She clutched her arms around Zidian's neck, afraid that she would fall down otherwise. But Zidian just shook her head. 

“You’re really light, don’t worry.” 

Shuoyue smiled and her heart was beating excitedly. This was like a dream come true, she was finally in the arms of her beloved! Shuoyue leaned her head against Zidian's neck and closed her eyes. Shuoyue felt so protected and Xichen enjoyed every moment of it. It was such a beautiful feeling, when was the last time he was carried and taken care of this way? Ah, he nearly forgot. It was just before all of this happened. Even then Jiang Cheng cared for him and how did he thank him? By getting angry and blaming him for the rescue. Xichen was such an idiot, wasn’t he?

They arrived in the bathroom and Zidian helped her get ready for bed. Afterwards Zidian even carried her to her bedroom, helped her to change into her pajamas and tucked her in her bed. But before Zidian could leave, Shuoyue grabbed her wrist. 

“Can you stay the night here? I don’t like to be alone on a night like this.” 

Shuoyue couldn’t help but ask. She finally had Zidian in her reach and she didn’t want to be left alone again. Xichen was afraid that maybe that was too much. He really hoped that Zidian wouldn’t take any offense to that. But of course Zidian surprised him again. 

“Okay.” 

Zidian just said and motioned Shuoyue to make room for her. Shuoyue happily made her room and padded the place next to her. Zidian just rolled her eyes, turned off the lights and climbed into the bed next to Shuoyue. Shuoyue took the chance and shuffled closer to Zidian, tucked her head between her head and shoulders and wrapped her arm and leg around Zidian's body. It was everything that Shuoyue and Xichen wished for. It felt so good, to hear someone’s breath and heartbeat next to oneself, just to be this close with oneself’s beloved person. When was the last time Lan Xichen slept so close to somebody else? He really hoped that he would experience more moments like this. 

The next morning Shuoyue woke up with a really bad hangover. Just what happened the night before? And then she remembered everything, getting drunk, crying after Zidian, the talk, the promise and how caring Zidian was. She wasn’t dreaming, wasn’t she? But she just couldn’t concentrate, the hangover really hurt her head. So she slowly stood up and walked to her bedroom door, opened it while holding her head and closing her eyes. She noticed that Zidian was already awake. 

“What time is it?” 

Shuoyue grunted. 

“Don’t worry, it’s still early. Here, let me help you to the couch, I already prepared some food and medicine for you.” 

She heard Zidian say and in the next moment Zidian took Shuoyue's hand. Zidian pushed Shuoyue onto the couch and disappeared somewhere. Suddenly she appeared in front of Shuoyue again. 

“Here take this and I want you to drink this glass of water, till it’s empty. Okay?” 

Zidian commanded and Shuoyue just nodded, grabbed the medicine and water and did as she was told. After that Zidian disappeared again and came back with two bowls of something to eat. 

“Here, eat this, too. It will help you with your hangover.” 

Zidian put the bowls on the table and pushed one bowl in front of Shuoyue. Luckily the medicine seemed to work and her head wasn’t hurting anymore. But she still felt like shit. How could she have been so shameless? She really had to apologize to Zidian. 

“I’m so sorry for yesterday. I must’ve been really a disgrace and I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable or anything.”

Shuoyue bowed and looked really upset. 

“Oh please, don’t worry about it! You didn’t do anything wrong and you weren’t a bother either. And please don’t worry, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. Do you remember what we talked about yesterday? I really meant it.” 

Shuoyue saw how Zidian smiled at her and was stunned. So she really meant it? Was it really true? 

“You mean the talk about us spending more time together? You didn’t just say it so I could go to bed? You really mean it?” 

Shuoyue asked hopefully. 

Zidian chuckled. 

“Of course and I will never go back on my word. So please eat something or you won’t survive today’s shooting. And if you want, we can grab dinner after work?” 

Zidian asked and Shuoyue could have jumped with joy if she could! She smiled brightly at Zidian. 

“Of course!” 

She breathed out. 

“I would love that.” 

They ate together in a comfortable silence and Shuoyue even insisted on doing the dishes because Zidian already cooked. 

“It’s just fair this way!” 

She just said and began to work, the hangover was luckily gone. Together they made their way to the studio, even making small talk before they had to go to their different dressing rooms. Shuoyue couldn’t imagine a better outcome and she was so happy! 

Unfortunately they were separated because they had to get ready for the next scene. Shuoyue wore the traditional robes again and a make up and hair team did the rest. Finally she was ready and made her way to the filming area. She saw how Ziyao, Zidian and Huaisang were talking to someone and recognized Mister Wen and his daughter. And Xichen already knew that this wasn’t good news. He was so glad that even Shuoyue was alerted. 

She slowly approached them and immediately wanted to kill this disgusting man! Just how can he make such remarks on someone with the same age as his daughter! Shuoyue had enough and even if she couldn’t just murder him, she could do something else. So she wrote to her uncle, pleading with him to invite Mister Wen to dinner so he wouldn’t have another choice but to leave. And she placed herself in front of Zidian, blocking Mister Wen's view from her. 

“Ah, Mister Wen, nice to meet you here. My uncle already told me that you would visit us today. How have you been? How is your wife?” 

Shuoyue said with a forced smile and put her hand behind her back and motioned Huaisang and Zidian to go away from here. She hoped that both of them would get it. Luckily she saw from the corner of her eye how Huaisang just grabbed Zidians arms and after quick goodbyes just walked away. Puh, that was close! Xichen was also just relieved that that situation was over. Ziyao also said his goodbyes and went away. Shuoyue was making some small talk with Mister Wen when suddenly his phone rang. Shuoyue just heard some parts of it but if her guess was right it had to be her uncle. And she was so glad that her plan worked! 

“Ah, unfortunately I have to apologize, something came up. I have a really important meeting now and I can’t miss it. So please make sure my daughter is taken care of, okay? Let me say goodbye to the rest of the crew first.” 

Wen Ruohan said to Shuoyue and Shuoyue just nodded. Together they went to the little group around Ziyao. Shuoyue saw how Huaisang slowly went in front of Zidian without it being too suspicious and Shuoyue winked at them both. She was so thankful for Huaisang's help. 

“I have to excuse myself, something important came up and I have to go back to my company. I already called one of our bodyguards over to accompany my daughter. Thank you for showing me around and see you all the next time.” 

Wen Ruohan tried to look at Zidian again but Huaisang and Shuoyue blocked his view. Wen Ruohan just shook his head and went away. After he was gone, Shuoyue let out a breath. 

“Puh, luckily that worked out.” 

Everyone was now looking at Shuoyue suspiciously. 

“Just what did you do?” 

Ziyao asked her but Shuoyue just laughed. 

“I didn’t do anything! I just wrote to my uncle that it would be a good time to have a little dinner with Wen Ruohan again, you know for work purposes?” 

Ziyao and Huaisang began to laugh really hard while Zidian was just looking dumbfounded. 

“Hahahaha, you’re really the best, Huan-Jie!” 

Huaisang clasped her shoulder. Shuoyue just waved her hand. 

“Like I said, I didn’t do anything.“ 

Ziyao talked about the scene, how he wanted to have it and gave Zidian and Shuoyue some instructions. But they were again interrupted, this time by Wen Chao. 

“By any chance, is there anything I can do for this scene?” 

She asked hopefully while displaying her cleavage seductively. Ziyao and Huaisang just exchange a glance. 

“I’m afraid not, Ms Wen. But how about you take a seat beside our camera crew? So if we need your help we can call you, how does that sound?” 

“Thank you so much, Mister Jin!” 

Wen Chao touched Ziyao's arm and looked at him with fluttering eyes, showing again her cleavage in full display. Shuoyue really had to suppress a laugh. Ah if she only knew. Even Huaisang tried to suppress a laugh but couldn’t hold it in that much. Ziyao just shot a glance at Huaisang. 

“Please, let me accompany you to your seat, Miss Wen.” 

Ziyao said while leading Wen Chao to her seat. He quickly turned his head to the group, made a throwing up gesture and turned around again. And now everybody was laughing silently. 

They soon got ready for the first scene and Shuoyue saw his Zidian put off her undergarments and climbed into the pool. She acted as if she was washing her body and her hair, like Ziyao told her so. And it took Shuoyue's breath away. Zidian was really so beautiful and she couldn’t help but stare. 

“And ACTION!” 

Ziyao shouted and the cameras were now rolling. Shuoyue patiently waited for her turn, but before they could even do anything, a phone just rang. 

“CUT! Whose phone is that?!” 

Ziyao shouted. 

“I’m sorry, it was mine!” 

Wen Chao tried to sound gullible but Shuoyue saw her little smirk. Oh no, she wouldn’t dare! Shuoyue and even Xichen became really irritated. 

“Don’t worry, Ms Wen, but I have to ask you to put your phone on silent.” 

Wen Chao just nodded and did as she was told. 

“Okay now, everyone get ready again! Aaaand ACTION!” 

Zidian was just about to say her first line but she was interrupted again, because now Wen Chao got up and got in front of the camera. Maybe Shuoyue could get away with murder? Just what was this bitch doing?! 

“CUUT! Ms Wen, is everything alright?” 

“Yes, why shouldn’t it be?” 

Wen Chao tried to act all cute and Shuoyue could just throw up. 

“I’m sorry, unfortunately you’re in front of the camera so I have to ask you to sit on your seat again.” 

Wen Chao apologized and sat on her chair again, but the smirk didn’t disappear from her face. Shuoyue really wanted to kill her now! Poor Zidian, the water certainly got colder and colder and she must be freezing now! But Zidian didn’t say anything so Shuoyue didn’t want to just step in. She really hoped that they would soon finish this damn scene! But they tried to resume filming for some more times and Wen Chao always interrupted them. So much so that even Ziyao's patience ran dry. 

“CUUT! A-Sang, can you come here quickly?” 

Ziyao shouted. Huaisang quickly ran over to him. 

“Ms Wen, would you like to see our different costumes? I’m sure A-Sang would even let you try some on, am I right A-Sang?” 

Ziyao pleaded with his eyes. A-Sang just rolled her eyes and mouthed ‘You owe me.’ before turning to Wen Chao and grabbing her arm. 

“Come, Ms Wen, I just have the perfect costume for you, let me put it on you!” 

And before Wen Chao could even protest, she was pulled away by Huaisang and everyone just breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she was gone and they could finally finish filming! Ziyao went over to Zidian, asked if she needed a break and if she was okay. Of course she wanted to resume filming without any breaks and Shuoyue was even more worried. So she tried her best to get the scene right the first time. 

“Okay everyone get ready, let’s just finish this scene and call it a day! Aaaand ACTION!” 

Luckily after the many interruptions the scene was filmed and they were finished for the day. Shuoyue ran over to Zidian and held up a hand to help her out of the pool. Zidian thankfully took the hand and climbed out of the pool but suddenly she stumbled and nearly fell down. Luckily Shuoyue caught her at the right time, but she panicked because even if she called Zidian's name, she wasn’t answering. Shuoyue quickly gathered her into her arms and began to carry her away. 

“A-Huan, wait, take this!” 

Ziyao came running to Shuoyue with a thick blanket and covered Zidian with it. 

“Thank you so much.” 

Shuoyue just said before hurriedly walking home. They luckily arrived home quickly and Shuoyue instantly began to work. She changed Zidian's clothes, tucked her into her bed and even brought up more blankets to keep her warm. After that she made something warm and easy to digest to eat and called up Zidian's brother. She reassured him that Zidian was okay, that she just needed some rest and that she would take care of her. After the call she got a message from Ziyao, informing her that tomorrow’s shooting won’t happen and that it was a break day for everyone. And Shuoyue was just glad to have such amazing friends. She really hoped Zidian would wake up soon. 

The rice porridge was ready and Shuoyue brought a portion to Zidian's room. Entering the room Shuoyue noticed that Zidian was awake and quickly walked over to her and put the bowl on Zidian's nightstand. 

“You’re awake.” 

Shuoyue breathed out and looked relieved but still a little worried. Zidian tried to sit up, but couldn’t. Shuoyue, noticing Zidian's struggle, helped her up and placed more pillows behind her back. 

“Please be careful.” 

She just said and grabbed a bowl with rice porridge. Zidian took the bowl from Shuoyue and thanked her. 

“I already called your brother and reassured him that I would take care of you. So you don’t have to worry about anything, just concentrate on getting better, okay?” 

Shuoyue looked deep into Zidian's eyes while she patted her head. Zidian really looked so vulnerable like this and Shuoyue's heart just ached. She really hoped that she would get better soon. 

“Did you bring me back here?” 

Zidian asked with a small voice. Zidian turned away and avoided looking into Shuoyue's eyes. No, that won’t do, Shuoyue had to do something about it. So she began to cup her cheek, stroking her high cheekbones. Zidian finally looked into Shuoyue's eyes again and she just felt so warm. 

“Yes, yes I did. You didn’t even manage to take a step before you fainted. Luckily I caught you just in time. Ziyao quickly brought a blanket to keep you warm and I carried you here, helped you get changed and put you in your bed. But please don’t think that you owe me anything because of it, just see it as thanks for yesterday, okay?” 

Shuoyue smiled warmly at Zidian and patted her head. Zidian just nodded and finished eating. She really looked so cute, Shuoyue loved the fierce and dominant side of Zidian but this side was something new. And she was so glad that she could get to know the different sides of Zidian. After Zidian was done eating, Shuoyue took the bowl from Zidian and put it aside. Then she helped Zidian to lay down on her bed again. 

“Try to get some more sleep and rest well. Ziyao already gave everyone a break for tomorrow so don’t worry about that. Just concentrate on getting better, okay?” 

Zidian just nodded and Shuoyue patted her head again and gave a quick kiss on her forehead. She didn’t even plan that, her body just moved on her own. 

“Sleep well, A-Cheng.” 

She said before walking out of the room. Shuoyue's heart was beating really fast and her face got warm. Did she really give her a kiss? And even Xichen became bashful, his versions were really forward. 

Unfortunately the nice atmosphere got interrupted by steady buzzing sounds from Shuoyue's phone. She unlocked her phone but she wished she didn’t. She could just throw it against the wall! Because what she saw was just bullshit! Just who leaked these pictures to the press?! 

Somehow pictures of the set and of the first days of filming got leaked and the photos really looked like Zidian and Shuoyue didn’t get along. The article itself was just a shit show of some dumb ass accusations and assumptions but it already had done some damage. And poor Zidian already got many hate messages through her social media platforms, comments after comments telling her the worst things. It was really really bad! 

But the worst came after that. These photos weren’t the only thing that got leaked. Somehow someone took photos of Shuoyue and Ziyao the night they went drinking and the photos really looked unfortunate. It really looked like her and Ziyao were doing indecent things in a hidden alleyway. Did the bar break their confidential agreement? Of course the articles were talking about a rumored relationship between these two and how fitting they were for each other. Even the fans started to ship them together and Shuoyue just groaned. If all of them just knew the truth! 

Luckily Ziyao was already calling her. They quickly organized a last minute press conference and they even planned to announce more exciting things. Hopefully these announcements would just stop these stupid rumors. Ziyao also informed Shuoyue that he already talked with Yanli, so everything should be okay. 

Still Shuoyue was really worried. Zidian and her managed to build some kind of relationship, but these stupid articles could destroy everything! That’s why she was so adamant to finally do the thing she never managed to do. She didn’t have anything to lose anymore. So she would risk everything she had. Hopefully that would restore the relationship between her and Zidian. 

Xichen never expected to get so many obstacles in the relationship. In the other worlds it seemed so simple and like it was meant to be, but here? Still Shuoyue was fighting and was doing everything to make it right. And he was envious of her, envious that he couldn’t and didn’t do the same. If he took the first step that time, if he just asked Jiang Cheng why he was acting so distant, would it change anything? Xichen couldn’t help but to think about it. 

Shuoyue quietly went to Zidian's room again and was relieved that she was sleeping peacefully. Shuoyue couldn’t help but to call out her name and reassure her that everything would be okay and that she meant so much to her. She caressed her cheek, burning this memory into her mind, and left the room again to let Zidian rest. Tomorrow would be a long day.  

The next morning Shuoyue got up early and got ready. Today was the day she couldn’t run away anymore. Her phone buzzed and it was a message from Yanli, informing her that Zixuan and him were already standing in front of the door. Shuoyue quickly opened the door and let them in. 

“Good Morning, Mr. Jiang and Ms Jin.” 

She said politely. 

“Ah, Shuoyue, you don’t have to be so polite with us. I mean you’re practically family now, am I right?” 

Yanli winked at her and Zixuan chuckled. Shuoyue was just looking at them like a fish out of water. 

“Wha-? I mean - how?” 

She could just ask. 

“Oh please, everyone with normal eyes can see how much you care for Zidian. And especially yesterday, you insisted that you would take care of her and that I don’t have to worry. It was really obvious what you’re feeling. And I could see a change in Zidian, too. So you don’t have to worry, I support you both with all my might!” 

Yanli exclaimed. 

“But if you dare to hurt her, just remember that I have my ways.” 

He said with a warning. Shuoyue still didn’t catch up with anything and needed time to process everything. Yanli knew of her crush? And he supported it? And did she just get a shovel talk from him?! Shuoyue couldn’t help but grin really wide. 

“Don’t worry, Yanli, I will give her the world, but only if she really wants it, too. I will be honest to her, with my feelings and intentions. But if she doesn’t feel the same, I will let go. She deserves happiness, even if it isn’t with me.” 

Shuoyue said determinedly. Yanli just smiled warmly at her. 

“I’m sure everything will be alright. Just trust in yourself, okay?” 

Shuoyue just nodded. Together they talked about today’s press conference and what Ziyao and Shuoyue had planned. The time came and Shuoyue had to leave first, to help Ziyao prepare the last things for the conference. So she said her goodbyes to Yanli and Zixuan and outside Nie Mingjue was already waiting for her. 

“Let’s go!” 

She just said and together they drove to the studio. 

Arriving there Ziyao was already waiting for them. 

“Most of the things are done, I just wanted to go over the speeches again. A-Sang and the rest will come soon, so we need to hurry.” 

Shuoyue noticed how nervous A-Yao was but she was also really happy that A-Yao took this step. She really hoped that everything would be alright. After rehearsing the speeches again and again, it was finally time for the press conference. A-Sang arrived first but shortly after Yanli, Zixuan and Zidian also arrived. Ziyao greeted everyone. 

“So we’re all complete now, let’s do this! Let us show these stupid press people that you just don’t mess with us!” 

Ziyao exclaimed and walked over to the meeting room. Everyone else followed him but before Zidian went too far, Shuoyue grabbed her arm. 

“A-Cheng, no matter what happens there, please just be yourself and don’t lie to yourself. Even if your feelings are different from what is expected from you, just be yourself, okay? Can you promise me that?” 

Shuoyue pleaded. 

“What’s the meaning of this?” 

Zidian asked harshly and it broke Shuoyue's heart. Zidian must have been really hurt because of everything. 

“You will soon know what I mean, but please can you promise me that you will act after how you really feel?” 

Shuoyue pleaded with her again. 

“Okay, I promise.” 

Zidian said and Shuoyue was so relieved! 

“Thank you so much.” 

She said, took Zidian's hand and held it really tight. Shuoyue couldn’t help but smile and the warmth of Zidian's hand really felt right and calming. And Zidian didn’t let go! Maybe there was still hope? Both of them went to the meeting room, still hand in hand, and stepped onto the stage. Ziyao, Huaisang, Yanli and Ning were already seated while Zixuan was waiting backstage. And of course a lot of photos were taken the moment they stepped onto the stage. Zidian and Shuoyue took their seats right in the middle of the long table. Ziyao raised his hand, stood up and made everyone stop. 

“Thank you to everyone for coming even for such a short notice. I’m sure you all have many questions about the photos and articles that were released this morning. Don’t worry, we will all answer your questions. But before we go over them, we have some announcements to make. The first one involves myself.” 

The room got really silent and you could downright feel the tension. 

“As many of you already guessed, I am in a relationship with a really wonderful person. This person means so much to me and I would do anything for them. This person was there for me when I was at my lowest and always supported me no matter what. We’ve been together for four years already but everyday feels like the first day we got together, with the exception that my love for this person grew even stronger and stronger the more time had passed.” 

Ziyao pulled a box from his pocket and Shuoyue couldn’t help but to grin. 

“Of course the only logical thing for the next step is to make this person my spouse for life.” 

Ziyao dropped to one knee in front of Huaisang and Huaisang already began to cry. You could hear a loud gasp through the mass of reporters. 

“A-Sang, I can’t imagine my life without you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honor and take me as your husband and make me the happiest man alive?” 

Huaisang just nodded her head like crazy while jumping into Ziyao's arms. Suddenly everyone was clapping and congratulating the new engaged couple. Even if Shuoyue did know that A-Sang wouldn’t say no, she was still relieved. She was so happy for her friends but she also yearned for something like this for herself. Would everything work out for her like for them? 

Ziyao happily put the engagement ring onto Huaisang's ring finger and hugged her tight again, while kissing her head. After a while they pulled out from the hug and Ziyao grabbed the microphone again. 

“Thank you so much for all of the congratulations. Originally I planned something completely different for the proposal, but after all these articles I just couldn’t risk my fiancée to get the wrong idea. But don’t worry darling, I already booked a romantic getaway for us two after the shooting!” 

Ziyao winked at Huaisang. 

“For the next announcement I hand over the word to one of our leading actresses, Shuoyue!” 

Ziyao announced and Shuoyue stood up while everyone was clapping. 

“Thank you so much Ziyao and again congratulations on your engagement! I wish you both just the best!” 

She smiled at the happy couple. 

“Like Ziyao already said, I also have an announcement to make and it involves a really important person for me.” 

Shuoyue turned to Zidian and looked at her. 

“A-Cheng, could you do me a favor and stand up for me?” 

Zidian luckily stood up without protest and looked at her. Shuoyue looked deep into Zidian's eyes, took her hand and smiled at her. 

“A-Cheng, I have had a crush on you since the first time I saw you on TV. You were the reason why I wanted to become an actress. You inspired and motivated me so much through my whole career. And then I learned that we would finally be in a TV show together and I was so happy and excited. But the first few days you were really polite but distant and I thought that I did something to offend you. But then we had the chance to really talk and you told me that you didn’t hate me and that you also wanted to get to know me better. You even took care of me and cooked for me when I couldn’t do it myself. And I just knew I just had to spend the rest of my life with you. We grew even closer, but then you got sick, these rumors started and I thought I lost everything again. So I thought why not risk everything? What do I have to lose?” 

Shuoyue took a deep breath. 

“A-Cheng, my A-Cheng, I really really like you so much. I want to get to know you better and I want to spend more time with you, even after the shooting ends. Will you go out with me?” 

A second passed, then the next and the next. Still Zidian didn’t say anything and was just staring at her. Did she miscalculate? Was this too much? Did she make Zidian uncomfortable? Or did Zidian really didn’t feel anything at all for her? Shuoyue's heart was crying in pain and Xichen could just cry if he could. He never thought he would experience this kind of pain again, but here it was. Shuoyue risked everything and lost everything. But just before Shuoyue could turn away from her, Zidian grabbed the front of Shuoyue, pulled her closer to herself and gave her a crushing kiss. And Xichen was just happy for them! Shuoyue did it! But like before, before Xichen even could feel the kiss, he was pushed out of the body. He just saw how Shuoyue kissed Zidian back, crushing her in her embrace before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng slowly opened his eyes and breathed out. He couldn’t even be bothered anymore, because he still wasn’t in his body. At least the transitions between the different bodies got simpler each time. It seemed like he really wasn’t returning back. Would A-Ling be okay? Would his sect be okay? He really hoped that they wouldn’t grieve him for too long, he really didn’t deserve it. Should he really just give up? Did he really try everything? 

No, he really just couldn’t give up that easily! He survived the massacre of his sect, he brought up A-Ling all by himself, he did everything else with just anger and stubbornness, so he would get through this! So instead of trying to get more information about this version of himself, he tried to find a connection or anything else from the different world he lived through until now. What was similar in every world? And was there a pattern? 

The similarities were obvious, he always had his parents and his sister, he had an uncle, aunt and cousin Wei and his relationship with Wei Wuxian was nearly non-existent. Instead he always had a close relationship with Lan Xichen. The other thing was that no matter what, Lan Xichen and him always got together at the end and a kiss triggered the switch between the bodies. These were all similarities he could think of but Jiang Cheng couldn’t recognize a pattern at first. 

But then it hit him! The versions of himself were always older than the one before! He began this journey as a ten year old, then he was 18 and in the last world he was 23! Maybe he just had to wait till he was in a body with his current age? And like the gods wanted to reward him for this discovery, suddenly many pictures and pieces of information poured into his head. 

This person was still Jiang Cheng, this time 25 years old and like always had his parents and his sister still. So it was really true! This version of himself was really older than the before! But that meant he really had to wait and couldn’t do anything else. Even if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have another choice. So he just leaned back and let things come to him. He tried to concentrate on his feelings, he didn’t want to be influenced again by feelings that weren't his own and he tried to put some distance with all of the different versions of himself and him. 

So Jiang Cheng just let the pictures and pieces of information fly through his mind and waited till the flow of all of the pieces of information and pictures stopped. Finally they stopped and Jiang Cheng could sort through them again. 

Except that he was still Jiang Cheng, still had his family and was 25 years old he also learned that this Jiang Cheng wasn’t a human in this world, but a creature called ‘merhuman’! These creatures were half human and half fish and had a fin instead of legs and feet. This Jiang Cheng, who was called Wanyin in this world, had sparkling violet scales and always put his hair into a long braid. 

Jiang Cheng was really intrigued. Being near water always calmed him down and he really loved the docks of Lotus Pier. And swimming was already like a second nature for him, he really loved immersing himself into the lake. Under water he could just turn off the whole world and now he could really breathe and live under water? That was somehow really cool! Jiang Cheng really hoped he could even see more of this underwater world, such a chance wouldn’t come the second time! Maybe this time he can at least enjoy some of it? 

After that was sorted out, he tried to concentrate on the different people Wanyin had in his life and what kind of relationships he had. He first tried to get more information about his family. And he could’ve cried happy tears then and right there! Because in this world his sister already found the peacock, they were already married and even A-Ling was already born! He was still really young, just barely one year old but both uncle and nephew were already close as ever! Maybe this time he could finally see A-Ling again? See him grow up with his parents? 

Jiang Cheng also learned that the different sect didn’t exist in this world. Instead most of the people he knew lived in this big town together as one big society. Did that mean that there wouldn’t be any wars between them? He really hoped so! 

The next information he could gather really shocked him, because even if Wanyin still had an aunt in this world, she just disappeared one day and nobody was able to find her again. Wanyin's family searched everywhere for her, but it was like she never existed in the first place. This was really strange and Jiang Cheng really hoped nothing bad happened to her. Even if Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were never close in the other worlds, Jiang Cheng still wished just the best for him and his family. That’s what he had deserved after everything. 

Jiang Cheng also learned that Wanyin was friends with the Nie brothers and the Jin brothers and they already did so many things together and even grew up together. Jiang Cheng was glad that at least his other versions always had someone by their side. They weren’t alone, there was always at least someone helping them and they even could rely on them. 

Lastly he thought about the relationship between Wanyin and Lan Xichen. But to his surprise Wanyin didn’t know any Lans at all! That was really unusual, till now they always already met when they were really young. But now? Why was it different now? 

But something inside of him told him that both of them would meet either way. It was always like that till now. Jiang Cheng went through the pieces of information he got again, checking again if he missed something. 

And he found something that really broke his heart. His hope to see A-Ling again just got shattered into a thousand pieces. Because of course the gods wouldn’t allow him to have this, wouldn’t reward him for bad behavior. 

Wanyin had left his family home just the day before. He wanted to explore the world, to meet different cultures and to see more of this world. So he said his goodbyes to his friends and family and started his journey to the unknown. Jiang Cheng really couldn’t take it anymore. He was so close to seeing A-Ling again, just to get denied again. So he just let these pieces of information be for now and tried to concentrate on his surroundings. 

This Jiang Cheng was sleeping soundly, but not on a bed. Jiang Cheng noticed how he was curled on the ground, his fin wrapped around his body to keep him warm and safe. He concentrated on his hearing but just heard the waves of the water and the swimming noises of different kinds of fish. He also noticed how it got brighter and brighter and how Wanyin slowly opened his eyes. 

A really beautiful cave with a wide opening above him welcomed him. Jiang Cheng saw different water animals and plants he never saw before. The cave was shimmering and reflecting the sunlight that broke through the water surface and it really looked like he was inside of a beautiful gemstone. Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but stare, he had never seen something like this before! 

Wanyin did a little stretching and continued his journey again. He still had so much to see! The next days passed in a similar manner. Jiang Cheng saw even more amazing places, got to know all kinds of different cultures and even heard all different kinds of languages. And Wanyin was so calm and content with everything, he ate when he was hungry, he slept when he was tired and he just lived his life. This life was totally different from the life Jiang Cheng was used to. 

In this life he wasn’t caged because of responsibilities and duty. He could be just Jiang Cheng. He always wondered what he would’ve been without his sect and title and to see it with his own eyes, to see how much freedom it brought really made him think. Maybe he really needed a break when everything came crashing down, maybe then everything else would be different and grief wouldn’t consume him as much as it did. But he would never know. You can’t just uncook cooked rice. 

Wanyin traveled for many days now, still taking in all of the different sights he saw. But somehow he never swam to the water surface. Jiang Cheng was first curious as to why he didn’t do it. He thought that maybe Wanyin couldn’t breathe out of water or something similar to that. 

But to his surprise it was for a completely different reason. You see, because Wanyin was a merhuman, Jiang Cheng thought that humans just didn’t exist in this world. But they did, and they were feared through the seas. Everybody knew how brutal and ruthless they were, how they would just kill without even thinking about it and how they harvested everything they caught. So from when he was little he was always told to keep his distance from the surface. 

So that’s what Wanyin did. And Jiang Cheng of course understood that. He never thought much about going fishing or killing animals for survival and food. But being on the other side gave him a perspective he never thought about. He really had still so much to learn. 

One day while traveling Wanyin found a cave filled with all different kinds of gemstones and luminous flowers everywhere. It was so beautiful that it just took his breath away. And Jiang Cheng felt the same, it felt so familiar and he couldn’t help but remember the cloudless nights at his pier, which was filled with so many beautiful lotuses that also seemed to shine under the moonlight. It was no wonder that Wanyin felt so content here. 

Luckily Wanyin decided to stay here for a while and just enjoy this view. So he started to build a little nest for himself and gather something to eat. When he was finished, he finally sat down and just enjoyed the moment. He was always so preoccupied and always had something to do, this was the first time that he was really alone from anybody. 

And Jiang Cheng felt how Wanyin just realized that. Wanyin enjoyed traveling and enjoyed learning more about the world he was living in. But maybe it was time to go back home again? Jiang Cheng felt how Wanyin missed his family, his friends but also how he yearned for something more. It became so much for him that Wanyin just had to let it out. So he began to sing and to pour all of his emotions into the melody. 

And Jiang Cheng became so emotional, it was like all of the feelings he tried so hard to suppress came to the surface. The grief he felt for all of the years, the love he felt for his family, the recognition and love he wished his parents gave him and the yearning he felt when he saw happy couples walking together and even staying together till their lives had passed. And he just let all of these feelings overwhelm him and he allowed himself for the first time in a long time to cry. 

Suddenly all of it became so much, he really missed his family, he missed his nephew, his brother and his sect. He missed his home, his people and he even missed the mundane everyday work. Somehow it wasn’t this difficult in the other worlds because he already had someone else by his side. But being alone here in an unknown world, without his family and his support system, it was just too much. 

Suddenly Wanyin was interrupted by a splashing sound and swam to the direction of the sound. He saw how something was sinking deeper and deeper into the sea and of course quickly swam over. But when he was near enough, he realized that this something wasn’t just a living being, he was also a human! Should he just leave him be? No, his consciousness didn’t allow it! 

So he closed the distance and gathered this human into his arms. Together he swam upwards and for the first time in his life he broke the water surface. He quickly looked around but it seemed like there weren’t any other humans near. He let out a breath of relief and looked for a place to put this human down. And lo and behold, right in front of him was a little island. It also seemed like the cave he found earlier was connected to it. Wanyin quickly swam on the shore and laid the human right at the ground of the island. That’s when Jiang Cheng noticed who this person was. Of course, who else could it be? It was none other than Lan Xichen! So it seems like Wanyin wouldn’t return home anytime soon. 

Wanyin began to examine this human but before he could even do anything, this human shot up into a sitting position and coughed really hard. Wanyin was too stunned to move and was just looking at him. He knew that he should just go away and go hiding. He knew how dangerous this was. But his body just didn’t want to budge. This human calmed down and slowly looked around. That’s when his eyes suddenly locked with Wanyin eyes and he was staring at him with wonder in his eyes. They both were just staring at each other for some time, Wanyin's heart beating really fast, until this human slowly lifted his hand like he wanted to touch him. But this just made Wanyin startle and like he noticed where he was and that he wasn’t supposed to be here, he quickly made his escape, ignoring the “Please wait!” from the human while his heart was still beating really loud and fast. 

Oh come on! Really now? Love at first sight? Jiang just groaned. This had to be a joke! At least in the other worlds both of them got to know each other first. But now? Really? Jiang Cheng was just so done. It was like watching a really bad romantic street performance. This was really hell. 

Wanyin's heart was still really beating fast so he withdrew back to the cave really fast. He never felt something like this before. The human looked really beautiful and it just took his breath away. But weren’t humans dangerous? So why was he feeling this way?  Maybe this human was different?

Jiang Cheng of course knew what would happen from now on. It was like this in all of the other worlds, of course it wouldn’t be different here. And Wanyin just proved him right, because the next day Wanyin sneaked a peak to the human on the island here and there. Somehow the human didn’t just disappear, it seemed like he was really living on this island.

He saw how the human built something like a house on the island and also saw that he also had many other trinkets just lying around in the sand. He saw how after the human finished the little hut, he walked around with a little book and a pen in his hand and wrote many things down. Just what was the human doing? Wanyin tried to catch a glimpse of the different kinds of gadgets lying around in the sand but none of them seemed to be dangerous. Maybe not every human was dangerous? Should Wanyin just risk it? 

No, he couldn’t. His family was already waiting for his return, they already lost an important family member. Just when he was about to turn around and dive again, he noticed how the human put away his little book and pen and set up something else in the sand. It first looked like a big white square on a stand, but the human turned it around, took a seat in front of it and began to paint. 

And Wanyin couldn’t believe his eyes. No, could it really be? He had to swim closer to see it better! So Wanyin slowly and quietly swam closer to the shore without alarming the human. And now he was sure that he saw it right. He never thought his journey could bring him to this discovery! This human was painting a picture of four people. And one of them was none other than his long lost aunt. Did these humans really kidnapped her? Wanyin needed answers. 

So he slowly took out his little dagger he was always carrying with him and went to the shore. If he was right, his fin would soon transform into human legs. And that was what luckily happened. Still, Wanyin was not used to walking on legs but he quickly got the hang of it. And he slowly sneaked behind this human. 

In moments like this Jiang Cheng really wished he could communicate with the body he was in! Because of course beside Aunt Wei, Jiang Cheng also recognized Uncle Wei, Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun in the picture! He was sure now that Aunt Wei possibly went voluntarily while finding her one and only love, got married, had Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun found each other. He was sure that this was some kind of gift or something for the family. But of course he couldn’t do anything but to hope that no one got hurt. 

Wanyin had already reached this human and quickly held him in a chokehold while holding the dagger right at his neck. The human just got startled and dropped the paintbrush. His eyes quickly looked around and saw Wanyin but suddenly he wasn’t trembling anymore. Just the opposite , he was calm, even in a situation like this, and was looking at Wanyin with wonder in his eyes and a smile on his face. 

“Don’t move, or you will get hurt.” 

Wanyin harshly forced out and this human just nodded slightly. Wanyin was still observing him and was really cautious. He knew how dangerous this situation was, but he still needed some answers. 

“How do you know this person in the picture?” 

Wanyin pointed at the woman in the picture. This human’s gaze went to the picture and back to Wanyin. 

“You mean Aunt Wei? She is the mother of my brother’s husband.“ 

This human said. 

“So she is still alive?” 

Wanyin, still holding his dagger on this human's neck, asked. He saw some confusion on the human’s face. 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t she? She and her husband were the reason why I am doing this research in the first place. Aunt Wei always talked about the beautiful and vast variety of plants and animals here. So I wanted to see it with my own eyes.” 

This human tried to explain. And Wanyin was just confused. So his aunt was alive? Living with the humans now? Why didn’t she say anything, why did she just disappear? Did she maybe hate them so much? 

Jiang Cheng felt so much hurt and pain from Wanyin. The abandonment, the betrayal and the hurt. It was too much. And even Jiang Cheng didn’t understand just why Aunt Wei just couldn’t inform her family. It would make everything so much easier. And this hatred inside of Wanyin wouldn’t exist.  But maybe this version of himself was also doomed with betrayal and abandonment.  

Wanyin quickly let go of the human and wanted to run into the sea again. He wanted to go back to his family, wanted to share his pain and betrayal. But before he could even turn away, someone grabbed his wrist and didn’t let go. This human was now standing right in front of him and holding his gaze and it again just took his breath away. Wanyin had to swallow hard and he even heard his heartbeat in his ears. 

“Please, don’t walk away again.” 

This human pleaded. 

“I answered all of your questions, don’t you think that you owe me the same?” 

Wanyin didn’t know why but somehow he just nodded. This human graced him with a big smile and he looked down to grab another chair but suddenly shrieked really hard. He quickly covered his eyes with his hands and shrieked. 

“YOU’RE NAKED!” 

Wanyin was just confused and looked down on himself and didn’t understand what the problem was. And Jiang Cheng nearly died of embarrassment. The human quickly turned around and grabbed a piece of fabric and threw it at him. 

“Please just wrap this around your hips.” 

Wanyin was still confused but did as he was told. The human slowly turned around and opened his eyes, letting go of a breath he held in. 

“Now we can talk!” 

He said and grabbed another chair, signaling Wanyin to take a seat. They now sat opposite of each other and the human was smiling at him again. 

“Before we start, let me introduce myself. My name is Huan, I’m 28 years old and like I told you I’m doing some research here. It seemed like you knew of Aunt Wei. If you don’t mind asking, are you perhaps Wanyin?” 

Wanyin's eyes got bigger and he was shocked. How did he know his name? Should he say anything? But he still wanted to know more about his aunt, maybe there was more to the story? So he just nodded again and Huan smiled even brighter. 

“I knew it! You know, Aunt Wei talked a lot about you and your family. How she had a brother, a best friend and a niece and a nephew, how she loved them very much and how she regretted how everything turned out.” 

“What happened to her?” 

Wanyin asked before he could stop himself. But he just wanted to know. Huan put on a sad smile on his face. 

“She always wanted to see more of the world but afraid something could happen and missing her family she still always returned home. But one day while on her journey she got caught in a fisherman's net and couldn’t free herself. These fishermen, seeing what a rare creature they caught, of course sold her on the black market. She was always kept in a too small aquarium, so her fin always stayed, making it impossible to flee. And one of the most influential families bought her. It was rumored that the blood of a merhuman would bring immortality to the one consuming it and this family always was power hungry. But luckily Uncle Wei, at that time working for this family because he didn’t have another choice, discovered her and helped her to flee. She finally could transform her fin to legs and they stayed hidden until some time had passed. And with new identities and in a new place they started anew. But still, Aunt Wei always wondered what happened to all of you, always wanted to visit you again but was too afraid to be found that she couldn’t do it. So hearing what I do for work and trusting my family and me she told us everything and even gave me a little letter, for the small chance I got to meet one of you. And I did!” 

Huan reached into a bag and handed him a letter. 

“Don’t worry, the paper is waterproof.” 

Wanyin just automatically took the letter but was just shaken. He first thought his aunt was gone, his aunt who would always play with them and tell them funny stories. Then he thought that she betrayed them. But this? He never thought this was what happened. 

“So she didn’t just leave us? She still thought about us?” 

Wanyin asked with a small voice. 

“Yes, she never stopped thinking about her family she had to leave behind. I’m sure she wrote more about it in her letter, so read it with your family, alright?” 

Huan smiled at him. 

Jiang Cheng had to control his breathing because this was too similar to what happened to Wei Wuxian. All these years he hated him, thought he abandoned him and betrayed him, just to learn that he did all of this just to protect him? Why was the Wei family so self-sacrificing? Didn’t they care for how they would be perceived by their own family? Jiang Cheng slowly breathed in and out. He really needed to put some distance between him and this world again. These people weren’t the people he knew and this Wanyin wasn’t him. They were different. And he was sure that Wanyin would be more forgiving. 

Wanyin again just nodded. He knew he had to get up, get back to his family and leave this human behind. It was too dangerous to be with him, who knows maybe he was just acting all of this kindness. And even if this human was really just kind, he didn’t know what would happen if someone else discovered him. He didn’t want to leave his family behind, didn’t want to hide from the world he had known. But somehow he still couldn’t get up. It seemed like the gaze of this human just kept him captivated, like he also didn’t want to let him go. The silence was finally broken by Huan. 

“Or, if you want, I can show you more about this island and my research?” 

Huan asked cautiously. Wanyin immediately wanted to say yes. Should he just risk it? Ah fuck it, he wanted to know more about the world, didn’t he? And this was a perfect opportunity! Wanyin nodded again and Huan smiled at him.

“That’s great! Let me show you around!” 

Huan stood up and took Wanyin's hand, while explaining his research and showing him around. 

Jiang Cheng knew that this was a big mistake, it was too risky and he was afraid something bad would happen, heck he just waited for something bad to happen! But the next few days Jiang Cheng just saw how closer and closer Wanyin and Huan got, without any interruptions or danger. Because of course they would. 

They spent even more and more time together, walked around the island and discovered even more and more new things. Wanyin even started to give Huan the gem stones and plants from the cave he found and Huan's eyes just sparkled every time Wanyin did something for him. 

Jiang Cheng also learned that his brother and Hanguang-Jun lived a happy life and he was just glad that even after everything his brother still found his happy end. And of course he again got to know Huan more and more and noticed so many similarities to his other versions that his heart was just yearning for the Xichen of his world. 

Were these feelings even real at this point? But he couldn’t help but hope that maybe he also deserved happiness? Just what is he thinking! Of course he didn’t deserve happiness! What did he say to himself? He needed to put some distance between him and these versions of himself, they weren’t him and his feelings were his and their feelings were theirs. He just couldn’t get influenced anymore and by chance when he returned to his original body he just couldn’t embarrass himself in front of Lan Xichen with these stupid feelings! So Jiang Cheng tried to take a step back and just observe the new normal. 

This new normal suddenly changed one day. It started like any other day, Wanyin was again on the island and walking around with Huan, both of them enjoying the day and each other's company. But Jiang Cheng's alarmed bells started ringing, something wasn’t right. He had a feeling that he was being watched and he felt the danger in the air. 

Suddenly, something got thrown at Wanyin and he was pulled away from Huan.

“WANYIN!” 

Huan screamed and ran over to him, just to be stopped by a masked man. The man just pushed him down really hard and stepped onto his chest, making him immobile. 

“HUAN!” 

Wanyin cried and struggled against the bindings but he couldn’t break free. Hearing this cry the masked man walked over to Wanyin and slapped him really hard. 

“Watch your mouth and keep quiet if you value your life!” 

He hissed. But Wanyin couldn’t move, couldn’t cry or speak either way because his head throbbed and his mouth filled with blood. 

Even for Jiang Cheng this pain was too much. But not just the physical pain, the emotional pain was really unbearable. Would this be the end? Would this version of himself die like this? Wanyin was still so young and had so much to see, would this really come to an end? Jiang Cheng could hear how the masked man and Huan were talking in the background but he couldn’t make up the words. He was just glad that Huan seemed to be fine, so maybe at least he could flee? 

Jiang Cheng noticed how Waynin was being carried away and how hopeless and helpless he felt. Did Huan manage to flee, is that why the masked man carried him away? He really hoped so. 

‘Huan, I’m so sorry’ 

Wanyin just thought and wanted to close his eyes completely. This was the end. 

Suddenly Jiang Cheng just heard a loud ‘BANG!’ sound and noticed how he was falling down. Just what happened? He tried to open his eyes and saw how Huan was running towards him. He was just so relieved and glad that he started to cry. Huan was here, Huan didn’t abandon him and Huan would rescue him. Huan quickly took a dagger and started to cut the ties, reassuring Wanyin that he was there and that everything will be alright. Finally Wanyin was free again and Huan gathered him into his arms. 

Jiang Cheng let out a breath. They made it, they really made it! Maybe they could really flee this time? He felt so safe and protected in Huan's arms, he really hoped that both of them could flee from this mess. 

“Thank god you’re okay!” 

Huan examined his face, his arms and legs, his body, helped him to stand and hugged him again. 

“You have to go now. It’s too dangerous for you here. I will stay back and take care of this, so just go!” 

Huan wanted to let go of the hug but Wanyin didn’t let him. 

“I’m not going away without you!” 

Huan scowled at Wanyin and Jiang Cheng saw all the worry and care in his eyes. But Wanyin was as stubborn as Jiang Cheng and of course he wouldn’t be swayed. And it was too late either way, because just now many more masked men arrived at the scene and they were surrounded by them. 

Jiang Cheng knew that they couldn’t fight anymore. Both Wanyin and Huan were hurt and weakened. Huan quickly looked around but soon looked into Wanyin's eyes again. 

“I’m so sorry for this mess. I just wanted to spend more time with you. And look where we are now. My feelings just clouded the whole danger I put you in.” 

Huan caressed Wanying cheek. Wanyin put his own hand onto Huan's. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I wanted to stay here with you. I never felt like this for anybody else. I don’t want to leave you and I don’t want to lose you. Huan, I’m in love with you. So even if I die here, I wouldn’t regret it because I’m here with you.” 

Jiang Cheng saw how tears gathered into the human*s eyes. Huan just nodded and whispered back.  

“I feel the same. I also am in love with you and I don’t want to lose you.” 

Wanyin hugged Huan even tighter now and both of them just stayed here, waiting for the other party to attack them. 

But everything went differently than they had expected. Suddenly one after one just fell onto the ground. Huan and Wanyin just stared at each other, then at the bodies on the ground. What just happened? Every one of them was down and suddenly four people appeared in front of them. 

“Surprise!” 

Someone just shouted and Wanyin and Huan flinched really hard. They looked for the source of the noise and saw none other than Uncle Wei! Behind him was also Aunt Wei, Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun. They all walked over to the pair. 

“Puh, luckily we came at the right time!” 

Wei Wuxian said and Hanguang-Jun just added 

“Xiongzhang.” 

“Thank you so much for the rescue. You really came at the right time. I really didn’t know how to handle this situation.” 

Wanyin heard Huan say but still just stared at the new people that arrived. Especially at his aunt. But his aunt was also staring at him. 

“A-Cheng.” 

She breathed out, first walked slowly towards him but her steps got quicker and quicker till she was in front of him. And Wanyin's body just moved on his own and he hugged her aunt really tight. 

“Aunty.”

He cried out and luckily his aunt hugged him back and patted his head. 

“You’ve gotten so big.” 

His aunt said while taking his face into her hands. 

“You really look exactly like A-Yuan.” 

She said with tears in her eyes. She wiped her eyes and looked behind her, waving her husband, her son and her son-in-law to her. 

“Let me introduce you to my husband and my son. This is Changze, my husband and the one who rescued me. And this is my son, Ying, with his husband, Zhan” 

Three of the men just nodded and smiled at Wanyin. Wanyin looked at them and smiled back. 

“How did you find us and how did you know that we would be attacked?” 

He asked. Uncle Wei just sighed. 

“Unfortunately Wen Ruohan, the man who kidnapped your aunt, found us again and got the information that Huan is searching for more merhumans. So he broke into my office and stole all the information he got. Luckily I got a silent alarm that someone broke in and we followed them here. But I never thought that we would really find you here.” 

Changze said and looked at Wanyin. 

“But I’m so glad we did. Your aunt really missed her family so much.” 

He smiled at Wanyin. Wanyin just nodded and asked another question. 

“What now? If you get discovered again, won’t that happen again?” 

This time his aunt answered him. 

“We already talked about it and we knew that this would be risky. And so we came to a decision. We will return to the sea, my son is already half merhuman and can also transform his legs into a fin by coming in touch with water. And regarding my husband and A-Zhan: we discovered that a kiss from a merhuman also does the trick. We also already talked with A-Zhan's family and all of them were really supportive.” 

Wanyin's eyes got big again and he looked at everyone. But the one person missing from this equation was Huan. What would happen to him? 

“And what about you?” 

Wanyin asked with a small voice. He really didn’t want to let go of him but he didn’t want to cage him either. So whatever Huan would decide he would support it. Huan just chuckled and caressed Wanyin's cheek again. 

“Ah, my Wanyin, did you forget what I said? I also want to be by your side. Of course I’m coming with you!” 

Wanyin just smiled and was happy. He could return to his family again and still be on Huan's side. So one by one every person present jumped into the sea, Uncle Wei after kissing Aunt Wei and Zhan after kissing Ying. And truly all of them had fins now. 

“Are you ready?” 

Huan asked Wanyin and Wanyin nodded his head. 

Jiang Cheng never expected this outcome. He never thought someone would be willing to give his family and his life till now up just for him. Was this really possible? Jiang Cheng knew that his sect respected him and that his nephew loved him. He knew, at least he wished that his family also loved him. But everyone chose something or someone else, leaving him behind with nothing. But here? The people chose him, chose to stay with him and be by his side. Jiang Cheng felt jealous, but also regretful. War changed him so much. Would he have had all of this if he was more open and loving? He didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer. 

Wanyin and Huan now stood opposite of each other and both of them slowly leaned in for the kiss, that would change everything. But of course like always, before Jiang Cheng could even feel anything, he just felt how his soul left this body, saw how Wanyin and Huan jumped into the sea and swam away before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Lan Xichen opened his eyes and like before, just darkness welcomed him. Even if he really enjoyed the last worlds and how his other versions of him lived, he still missed his brother and his uncle. After everything that happened he thought that he didn’t have any reason to live on. But seeing the different kinds of versions of him and seeing in every one of them how distant he is to his uncle and brother, he just yearned for them even more. He wanted to live, wanted to be close to them again. He never thought he would think like that again, the Guanyin Temple incident took that feeling away from him. But now it was different. He still had his brother, his uncle and his sect. And maybe he could have Wanyin, too? 

But either way, he was still stuck in this predicament, he still couldn’t leave and he still couldn’t do anything but to watch how everything happened around him. He didn’t know how, but still he somehow felt like he would be back in his body again soon. It was a gut feeling. So the best thing to do while waiting was to lean back and to watch how his other versions lived their lives. 

So Xichen waited for the information he would soon receive and there they were. He waited till the influx of information stopped and began to sort through them. This Xichen, who was just called Huan here, was 28 years old, still had his parents, his brother and his uncle. Huan was a researcher and specialized in marine biology. That’s why he was always on the go, traveling the different seas and discovering new species and plants. 

But he still managed to spend time with his family. Lan Xichen also learned that his brother in this world was already married to Young Master Wei and that their families even regularly met. That was how Huan learned something really fascinating, so much even that he didn’t want to believe it at first. Huan learned that Young Master Wei's mother was not a human, but a merhuman. He learned how she was captured and nearly tortured, but Uncle Wei rescued her in time. They disappeared and deleted all of their info till they made up new identities and located elsewhere. Luckily they weren’t found till now and they could live a normal life. 

Huan, intrigued by such a discovery, asked Aunt Wei for more information and was happy to know that she gave him the information happily. She just had one wish. If he managed to find someone from her family, she wished for a letter to be delivered for them. Huan could see how much she missed them and how much she wished to be with them. Huan of course agreed and thanked her many times, before he began his new journey. 

Lan Xichen was a little disappointed that he still couldn’t spend time with his family, but he was excited about what would happen. He first was sad that he didn’t meet Wanyin again, but now he knew why that was. Of course they couldn’t meet if Wanyin was a different species. He didn’t know why but he was sure that they both would meet each other again really soon. 

After that was cleared up, Lan Xichen tried to concentrate on his surroundings and noticed that he was lying on a hard underground and that everything was swaying. Huan slowly opened his eyes and planks of wood welcomed him. He stretched and got up, starting another day of his research. 

That’s when Lan Xichen noticed that they were on a boat! It was a small boat without any crew. And before Lan Xichen even could wonder how the boat was moving by itself, Huan went to the helm of the boat and checked the engine that was operating the boat. It was really fascinating to see, Lan Xichen was so used to manpower that he always was fascinated how the different worlds operated. His world really could learn a thing or two from it. 

After Huan made sure that everything was working like it should, he walked to the deck and looked out for interesting sights for his research. Unfortunately the information Aunt Wei gave him wasn’t that specific, he just had a clue and a gut feeling of where her family could be. Hopefully he would find something soon! Of course he wouldn’t publish everything he discovered into the public, most of it was just to satisfy his own curiosity. And something in him told him that this was really important, so he just couldn’t ignore it. 

Some time had passed and Huan was still looking for something. But there wasn’t anything to see, just the endless sea. The sun was now shining bright and high in the sky, heating Huan up. He should probably eat and drink something before he would collapse. So he turned around, ready to go to the kitchen but before he even could take a step, a really hard wave hit the ship and Huan lost his balance and fell over the railing right into the sea. 

Lan Xichen couldn’t even comprehend just what had happened. Was he going to die like this? He never died in the other worlds and didn’t know what would happen if he did. Would his soul be lost forever? Falling through the surface of the sea felt like he just fell hard onto a hard ground and the pain was really unbearable. It didn’t take long and Huan had already lost his conscience. 

Huan came slowly to his senses and noticed that something was wrong. Why couldn’t he breathe probably? His body subconsciously shot up and he began to cough out the water he accidentally swallowed. Wasn’t he just on the boat and fell down into the sea? But he felt sand under his hands and was surrounded by different kinds of plants. Just where was he? He tried to calm down and looked around but before he even took his surroundings in he noticed someone was by his side. He turned around and his eyes locked with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. 

Lan Xichen's heart was beating really fast, because right in front of him was none other than this world Jiang Wanyin. He couldn’t help but stare, luckily Huan felt the same way. Jiang Wanyin's long hair was wet and clinging on his naked upper body, his eyes were so clear and blue like the ocean and his fin was shimmering in a beautiful lilac color. Lan Xichen felt the desire to touch the delicate scales, wanted to feel Wanyin's warm body under his finger tips and to hold him close. This feeling was familiar, he felt the same way when he saw the female Wanyin shooting the water scene in one of the worlds. 

He always had a doubt since then. Maybe he wasn’t a cut sleeve and just got flustered because Wanyin was a woman in that world? But all this doubt disappeared now. He couldn’t really deny it anymore. Jiang Wanyin's company or friendship wouldn’t be enough. He wanted his heart and his body. He wanted everything. Just when he did he became so greedy? Where did all his restraint disappear to? He never felt anything like this! 

Huan was still staring at the merhuman and slowly lifted his hand. He just wanted to touch this being, wanted to be sure that all of this was real and that he wasn’t dreaming. But before he could even move his hand, the merhuman flinched and fled, the desperate  “Please wait!” from Huan ignored. He sighed. Was that it now? Did he miss his chance? No, he couldn’t give up that easily! 

With determination he got up and looked around. The island he was on was really small but had really interesting flora and fauna. Maybe he could stay here for some days? Maybe he could see the merhuman again? Making his choice he walked around and took his surroundings in. He noticed that something else was also at the shore and walked over. And he couldn’t believe his eyes! It was his boat without any damage. How lucky could he be? He quickly ran over, tied the boat on a nearby tree and began to set up his base for his research.  

Lan Xichen didn’t know what to feel. Of course he knew that that wasn’t the last of Jiang Wanyin. They would meet again, that was sure. But would he survive it? His heart was still beating really fast and his face was heating up. He really hoped he would calm down till they met again.

Huan carried different kinds of trinkets from the boat onto the island and tossed them around the sand. He disappeared into the boat again and took out something that looked like a sleeping mat and a book and a pen. Lan Xichen didn’t even notice how late it got, it was already really dark. Huan turned on a small lamp and began to write down today’s discoveries before going to bed. 

The next morning welcomed Huan with warm sunlight and birds chirping in the sky. Huan slowly got up and began his day. The night was okay, but it was too cold at night. He had to build something to keep him warm. Maybe a simple and little tent would do? With that in mind he began to collect some long sticks, took some cloth from his boat and built a simple and little tent to keep him warm. With that done he walked around and examined the different kinds of plants and little insects he saw. They were a little different from the plants and insects he knew. Maybe their surroundings influenced their development? He noted his observations down and after some time he was already finished. 

Putting the notebook and the pen into the tent, he set up his painting stand and put a canvas on it. It was a long time ago he last drew, he just didn’t have any muse or inspiration for it. But somehow yesterday's events made him want to draw something. So he began to draw the one thing that always calmed him down. His brother, whom he loved very much. But he couldn’t draw him alone so he also drew Wuxian, Uncle and Aunt Wei. While drawing he wondered if he would see the merhuman again. Did he really miss his chance? The day was nearing its end and he still couldn’t catch a glimpse of the merhuman. Did he maybe really just hallucinated it? But why did it feel so real? 

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice that someone was sneaking behind him. Before he could even react he was already held in a chokehold, while a dagger was pointed right at his neck. He got so startled that he dropped his paintbrush, his eyes frantically looking at the intruder. But it wasn’t an intruder that was holding him in a chokehold, it was the merhuman from yesterday. Huan immediately stopped trembling and looked at the merhuman with wonder in his eyes. So yesterday’s encounter was real! He couldn’t help but smile. 

Lan Xichen was overjoyed despite the situation he was in. Jiang Wanyin came back! And he looked so beautiful! Lan Xichen took in his appearance, burning it into his mind. He didn’t want to forget how he looked, he didn’t want to forget all of the versions of Jiang Wanyin. Because seeing all of the different versions he noticed one thing: Jiang Wanyin was always the same on the inside. Fierce-fully loyal, filled with so much love and so much care, always protecting the people around him. And Lan Xichen couldn’t help but fall deeper and deeper in love with him

“Don’t move, or you will get hurt.” 

The merhuman harshly forced out and Huan just nodded slightly. The merhuman was observing him and Huan couldn’t help but to be still. He really hoped that the merhuman would trust him someday.  

“How do you know this person in the picture?” 

The merhuman suddenly said while pointing at the woman in the picture. Huan looked at the picture and back at Wanyin. 

“You mean Aunt Wei? She is the mother of my brother’s husband.“ 

He answered. 

“So she is still alive?” 

The merhuman, still having his dagger on Huan's neck, asked. Huan was confused. 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t she? She and her husband were the reason why I am doing this research in the first place. Aunt Wei always talked about the beautiful and vast variety of plants and animals here. So I wanted to see it with my own eyes.” 

Huan tried to explain. Huan saw confusion on the face of the merhuman. So was this merhuman really a family member of Aunt Wei? Was he really that lucky, that he just didn’t find a merhuman but also a family member of Aunt Wei? He really couldn’t believe it but that must be it! 

The merhuman quickly let go of Huan and Huan noticed that he wanted to flee again. So before he could even realize it his body reacted on his own and grabbed the merhumans wrist. Huan looked straight into the merhumans eyes. 

“Please, don’t walk away again.” 

He pleaded. 

“I answered all of your questions, don’t you think that you owe me the same?” 

If the merhuman really didn’t want anything to do with him, he would of course let him go. But he just wanted a chance to get to know him better. To Huan's surprise, the merhuman nodded. Huan couldn’t help himself and smiled really big. 

He wanted to grab a chair for the merhuman so they could talk more comfortably but before he could even search for it he shrieked. Because the merhuman was completely naked! He quickly covered his eyes with his hands and shrieked.

 “YOU’RE NAKED!” 

He quickly turned around and grabbed a piece of fabric and threw it at him. 

“Please just wrap this around your hips.” 

He really hoped that the merhuman would do as told. And luck was on his side, because he heard the rustling of the fabric. When it stopped, he slowly turned around and opened his eyes, letting go of a breath he held in. 

“Now we can talk!” 

He said and grabbed another chair, signaling the merhuman to take a seat. They now sat opposite each other and Huan was smiling at the merhuman again. 

“Before we start, let me introduce myself. My name is Huan, I’m 28 years old and like I told you I’m doing some research here. It seemed like you knew of Aunt Wei. If you don’t mind asking, are you perhaps Wanyin?” 

It had to be him. He recognized Aunt Wei and Aunt Wei had just one nephew. Huan saw how the merhumans eye got bigger and he was still for a moment. After a while, it looked like he was weighing his options, he nodded again. 

“I knew it! You know, Aunt Wei talked a lot about you and your family. How she had a brother, a best friend and a niece and a nephew, how she loved them very much and how she regretted how everything turned out.”

 Huan couldn’t help and explain.

“What happened to her?” 

The merhuman - Wanyin - asked. Huan answered sadly. 

“She always wanted to see more of the world but afraid something could happen and missing her family she still always returned home. But one day while on her journey she got caught in a fisherman's net and couldn’t free herself. These fishermen, seeing what a rare creature they caught, of course sold her on the black market. She was always kept in a too small aquarium, so her fin always stayed, making it impossible to flee. And one of the most influential families bought her. It was rumored that the blood of a merhuman would bring immortality to the one consuming it and this family always was power hungry. But luckily Uncle Wei, at that time working for this family because he didn’t have another choice, discovered her and helped her to flee. She finally could transform her fin to legs and they stayed hidden until some time had passed. And with new identities and in a new place they started anew. But still, Aunt Wei always wondered what happened to all of you, always wanted to visit you again but was too afraid to be found that she couldn’t do it. So hearing what I do for work and trusting my family and me she told us everything and even gave me a little letter, for the small chance I got to meet one of you. And I did!” 

Huan reached into a bag and handed Wanyin a letter.

“Don’t worry, the paper is waterproof.” 

Wanyin took the letter and didn't do anything else. He looked shocked and so deep in his thoughts that Huan didn’t want to disturb him. After a while Wanyin asked with a small voice.

“So she didn’t just leave us? She still thought about us?” 

Huan sighed. 

“Yes, she never stopped thinking about her family she had to leave behind. I’m sure she wrote more about it in her letter, so read it with your family, alright?” 

Huan tried to smile reassuringly at him. 

Lan Xichen really didn’t like the look on Wanyin's face. He looked so tired and confused, like he didn’t know what to think. Did he think that Aunt Wei betrayed his family? Is this what his Jiang Wanyin felt when Master Wei disappeared without any trace and reason? He really hoped that at least this world’s Huan would be by his side. Lan Xichen just saw how Wanyin nodded again but he didn’t do anything else. He just stared at the letter. 

Sensing the awkward silence, Huan coughed. 

“Or, if you want, I can show you more around this island and my research?” 

Huan asked cautiously. If Wanyin really wanted to go home again, he would let him go. But he wanted to give him another opinion. And to his surprise, Wanyin nodded again.

“That’s great! Let me show you around!” 

Huan stood up excitedly and took Wanyin's hand, while explaining his research and showing him around. 

Lan Xichen was over the moon. Finally, finally Wanyin and him could spend some time together again! And naturally he noticed how closer and closer Huan and Wanyin got. It was always such a heartwarming thing to see. How Wanyin slowly opened up and gave him his trust. Even if this woke up a painful yearning inside him, he was always glad to see the other versions of them living their life at their fullest. 

Huan and Wanyin spent even more and more time together, walked around the island and discovered even more and more new things. Wanyin even started to give Huan the gem stones and plants and Huan's eyes just sparkled every time Wanyin did something for him. Huan talked about his brother and his family and how they lived a happy life. And Lan Xichen was just so thankful for the happiness of his brother. 

But Lan Xichen also got to know Wanyin more and more better and noticed so many similarities to his other versions that his heart was just yearning for the Wanyin of his world. Of course he still had some doubts that this feeling was really his. But the more time he spent in the different worlds the more he wanted to spend time with his Wanyin. He wanted to take the chance and he wanted to have a grab on the future they both could have. Even if he still felt like he didn’t deserve it. Even if his past still followed him. But even after everything that happened, didn’t he deserve to be happy, too? 

Huan and Wanyin spent more and more time together and time flew quickly. But everything changed one day. It started like any other day, Wanyin was again on the island and walking around with Huan, both of them enjoying the day and each other’s company. 

But Lan Xichen noticed that something was different. They were being watched. Suddenly, something got thrown at Wanyin and he was pulled away from Huan. 

“WANYIN!”

Huan screamed and ran over to him, just to be stopped by a masked man. The man just pushed him down really hard and stepped onto his chest, making him immobile. 

“HUAN!” 

Wanyin cried and Huan's heart was just in pain. It was nothing compared to the pain from the foot on his chest. Who were these people? Why were they attacking them? Another masked man walked over to Wanyin and Huan heard a loud slapping noise. 

“Watch your mouth and keep quiet if you value your life!” 

The masked man hissed at Wanyin. Huan wanted to walk over him, to set him free but he couldn’t move. What could he do? There had to be another way! 

Lan Xichen's heart was crying in pain. The physical and the emotional pain was too much. Would this be the end? Would this version of himself die like this? Both of them were still so young and had so much to see, would this really come to an end? No, he couldn’t let it end like this! And Huan was having the same idea. 

“Just who are you?! What do you want from us?! We’re just researchers, we didn’t do anything wrong!” 

Huan pressed out but the masked man just grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes with disdain. 

“Do you think we’re stupid? We know what you were researching and we know what he is. We are just going to take back what was rightfully ours. And if you value your life, you will be still.” 

The man hissed. Huan couldn’t believe it. How did they get discovered? He looked around but saw how Waynin was being carried away. He felt so hopeless and helpless. Wasn’t there really another way to help at least Wanyin flee?

Before he could even think about a way out, Huan suddenly just heard a loud ‘BANG!’ and in the next moment both of the masked men were lying dead on the ground. Just what happened? But he couldn’t think about it anymore because Huan saw how Wanyin fell into the ground. Huan quickly got up and ran over to him. Tears gathered in his eyes and he could see that Wanyin was feeling the same way. They both made it out alive and everything would be okay. Wanyin was safe. Huan quickly took a dagger and started to cut the ties that were binding Wanyin, reassuring him that he was there and that everything will be alright. Finally Wanyin was free again and Huan gathered him into his arms. 

Lan Xichen let out a breath. They made it, they really made it! Maybe they could really flee this time? Wanyin was safe in his arms and he would never let go again. 

“Thank god you’re okay!” 

Huan examined Wanyin's face, his arms and legs, his body, helped him to stand and hugged him again. 

“You have to go now. It’s too dangerous for you here. I will stay back and take care of this, so just go!” 

Huan wanted to let go of the hug but Wanyin didn’t let him. 

“I’m not going away without you!” 

Huan scowled at Wanyin and Lan Xichen saw the stubbornness and the determination in his eyes. It was already a lost game, he knew that when Wanyin set something in his mind, he wouldn’t let it go. And it was too late either way, because just now many more masked men arrived at the scene and they were surrounded by them. Lan Xichen knew that they couldn’t fight anymore. Both Wanyin and Huan were hurt and weakened. Huan quickly looked around but soon looked into Wanyin's eyes again. 

“I’m so sorry for this mess. I just wanted to spend more time with you. And look where we are now. My feelings just clouded the whole danger I put you in.” 

Huan caressed Wanying cheek. Wanyin put his own hand onto Huans. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I wanted to stay here with you. I never felt like this for anybody else. I don’t want to leave you and I don’t want to lose you. Huan, I’m in love with you. So even if I die here, I wouldn’t regret it because I’m here with you.” 

Lan Xichen was so touched. They loved each other! So he really hoped that they still could somehow flee together. They deserved to be happy together. Lan Xichen noticed the tears that were gathering in Huan's eyes. He just nodded and whispered to Wanyin. 

“I feel the same. I also am in love with you and I don’t want to lose you.” 

Wanyin hugged Huan even tighter now and both of them just stayed here, waiting for the other party to attack them. 

But everything went differently than they had expected. Suddenly one after one just fell onto the ground. Huan and Wanyin just stared at each other, then at the bodes on the ground. What just happened? Every one of them was down and suddenly four people appeared in front of them. 

“Surprise!” 

Someone just shouted and Wanyin and Huan flinched really hard. They looked for the source of the noise and saw none other than Uncle Wei! Behind him was also Aunt Wei, Master Wei and his brother. They all walked over to the pair. 

“Puh, luckily we came at the right time!” 

Master Wei said and his brother just added “Xiongzhang”. Lan Xichen could see the worry in his eyes. 

“Thank you so much for the rescue. You really came at the right time. I really didn’t know how to handle this situation.” 

Huan said. He noticed how Aunt Wei was staring at Wanyin now. 

“A-Cheng.” 

She breathed out, first walking slowly towards them but her steps got quicker and quicker till she was in front of Wanyin. And Wanyin just hugged his aunt really tight. 

“Aunty.” 

Huan heard from Wanyin. 

“You’ve gotten so big.” 

Aunt Wei said to Wanyin while taking his face into her hands. 

“You really look exactly like A-Yuan.” 

It was really an emotional scene and Huan couldn’t help but to lose some tears. Finally Wanyin found his family again. Aunt Wei called over her husband, Master Wei and Wangji and introduced them to Wanyin. They really looked like a big happy family and somehow Huan felt like an intruder. Was he really allowed to be here? 

“How did you find us and how did you know that we would be attacked?” 

Wanyin's question brought Huan back into reality. Uncle Wei just sighed. 

“Unfortunately Wen Ruohan, the man who kidnapped your aunt, found us again and got the information that Huan is searching for more merhumans. So he broke into my office and stole all the information he got. Luckily I got a silent alarm that someone broke in and we followed them here. But I never thought that we would really find you here.” 

Uncle Wei said and looked at Wanyin.

“But I’m so glad we did. Your aunt really missed her family so much.” 

He smiled at Wanyin. Wanyin just nodded and asked another question. 

“What now? If you get discovered again, won’t that happen again?” 

This time Aunt Wei answered him. 

“We already talked about it and we knew that this would be risky. And so we came to a decision. We will return to the sea, my son is already half merhuman and can also transform his legs into a fin by coming in touch with water. And regarding my husband and A-Zhan: we discovered that a kiss from a merhuman also does the trick. We also already talked with A-Zhan's family and all of them were really supportive.” 

So this was really goodbye. Huan would have to say goodbye to his love and his family. But it was for the best. They were all safer this way. But of course Wanyin proved him wrong again. 

“And what about you?” 

Wanyin asked him with a small voice. Huan really shouldn’t doubt Wanyin's feelings for him. He couldn’t help but chuckle and caress Wanyin's cheek.

“Ah, my Wanyin, did you forget what I said? I also want to be by your side. Of course I’m coming with you!” 

Wanyin just smiled and they could finally be together. One by one every person present jumped into the sea, Uncle Wei after kissing Aunt Wei and Zhan after kissing Ying. And truly all of them had fins now. 

“Are you ready?” 

Huan asked Wanyin and Wanyin nodded his head. 

Lan Xichen was so relieved. He never thought that he could leave the life behind he knew. Leave his family, his uncle and parents behind. But he knew that his heart wanted this, wanted to be on Wanyin's side. It was so simple for this world’s Huan, he really hoped that he would also find the courage to pursue his happiness. 

Wanyin and Huan now stood opposite of each other and both of them slowly leaned in for the kiss, that would change everything. But of course like always, before Lan Xichen could even feel anything, he just felt how his soul left this body, saw how Wanyin and Huan jumped into the sea and swam away before everything became dark again.

Chapter Text

Like usual, Jiang Cheng gained his consciousness and slowly opened his eyes. The last world really took a toll on him. He never thought that they would be under attack. The last time he felt such a panic was when everything went down at the burial mounds. Seeing the person who means so much to him hurt like that - it was really unbearable. 

Then a second later he just realized what he just thought. The person who means so much to him? Did he really just lose his mind?! He couldn’t do this again, couldn’t let a person so close again. He already lost so much! 

But how could he even resist? Someone chose him, he chose him. When he never thought that someone would be choosing him. Him of all people. It confused him and it made him feel things he never wanted to feel. Could he really put a distance between himself and all of this? Could he really go back to the world he knew? 

But then he thought of A-Ling, his nephew. The only person important to him that he left. No, he couldn’t leave A-Ling behind. And he didn’t deserve all of this happiness. It was already enough for him that everyone else that survived was happy and thriving. This is just a cruel joke from fate. A punishment for living a quiet normal life even if he had so many skeletons in his closet. Yes, it was enough and he had to go back! There had to be a way! 

And of course like always, before he could even think further, an influx of information was purred into Jiang Cheng's head. 

After that was done, Jiang Cheng took a moment to sort through the information he gained. And it was again similar to the other worlds. He lived in the world without cultivation again and he still had his family. The only difference was again his age, this time he was 28 years old. So older than in the world before. Maybe his theory was right? 

Jiang Cheng looked closer through the other information he gained and was surprised about the occupation this Jiang Cheng had. He never would even have imagined doing something like this! Nie Huaisang was always the creative one, Jiang Cheng was more gifted in the logical and analytical tasks. Was it again not from lack of talent but from the environment he grew up in? Who is he really without his position and his sect? No, he couldn’t think like that, it was not right. These people weren’t him. These people were different. He couldn’t be confused. So he breathed in and out and tried to sort through the information again.

This Jiang Cheng, who was called Wanyin by most of the people, was a photographer, but not only some kind of photographer. He was the most sought after photographer of this time and really hard to book. His popularity rose when he first published his scenery photographs and his photographs of his family. It was just meant to be some kind of hobby he enjoyed. Just something to share with his family and friends. 

But suddenly a really popular magazine discovered him and he went viral. Everybody loved the way he managed to make even the most mundane things so appealing and beautiful. And that’s how he became a photographer full time, with his own studio and employees. 

Even if he didn’t want to admit to himself, Jiang Cheng was really curious and interested in this kind of work. The pictures he saw from the information were really good and he was intrigued by this technology. Normally pictures took weeks to get finished, seeing the result in an instant was really an amazing development. The possibilities this included were endless! Maybe he could develop something like this back home? 

Jiang Cheng felt some stirring and in the next moment Wanyin opened his eyes. The first thing Jiang Cheng noticed was that he wasn’t lying on a bed. His head was lying on a table and he was sitting on a chair. So this Jiang Cheng also fell asleep while working?

Wanyin slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. A knock on his door made him flinch and he grumpily told the person to come in. The door opened and to Jiang Cheng's surprise Nie Huaisang was standing in the doorway. That was when he remembered that Nie Huaisang was his assistant. 

“Did you fall asleep on your work desk again? I told you to take a break! And I’m sure you haven't eaten anything since yesterday, did you?” 

Nie Huaisang reprimanded him while walking over. 

“Huaisang, you’re neither my mom nor my sister or wife. So why are you acting like it?!” 

Wanyin groaned and scowled at Huaisang. Huaisang just rolled his eyes and hit him with his closed fan. Of course he would always carry a fan. 

“Ouch! What was that for?!” 

Wanyin growled. 

“For being stupid. First, I’m your assistant, so making sure you’re alright is literally my job. And lastly, Yuan-Dama und Li-Jie would kill me if I let something happen to you. You know yourself how overbearing they can be.” 

Nie Huaisang stated the facts. 

Jiang Cheng thought he had seen everything. But this? He never even talked with his own family like that! But it really seemed that this was just the way these two were behaving in front of each other. Jiang Cheng never had any friendships, his only relationship that was similar to this one was with Wei Wuxian. But even that ended on a bitter note. Jiang Cheng never was good at this kind of thing. His relationships, except with A-Ling, always ended badly. But this? 

Wanyin just grumbled and looked at his desk again. On it were many applications from different model agencies. Of course all of them wanted to be booked by him. Even just one booking was enough for making a no name model into a top model and advancing their career. But nothing caught his eye. They all looked just too perfect, too lifeless, too similar. And he really tried, really tried to at least find someone even if it wasn’t the perfect match. But he just couldn’t bring himself to work half heartily. 

“Still no one that caught your eye?” 

Huaisang leaned over his shoulder and looked at the different photos of the models. 

“Not really. They’re always missing something, something I can’t describe. Ugh, I just don’t know.” 

Wanyin groaned and dropped his head on his desk. Suddenly Huaisang grabbed his arm. 

“This won’t do. You have to get out of your office. How long have you been here? It’s too long! Come, let’s look outside for inspiration and grab something to eat while we’re at it! And even if you don’t find a person, maybe you find beautiful scenery, hm?” 

Huaisang pulled Wanyin up. And Jiang Cheng felt how Wanyin also wanted to just leave his office. 

“Maybe you’re right.” 

Wanyin said while standing up and grabbing his coat. 

“Great!” 

Huaisang exclaimed and hooked arms with Wanyin. 

“Let’s go!” 

He pulled Wanyin to the door and together they left the office. 

Jiang Cheng was really surprised that Wanyin didn’t push Huaisang off of him. It reminded him of the earlier days, before the war. Before everything went downhill. He took a deep breath. It was useless to think about these things. Jiang Cheng suddenly panicked. Because if Wanyin was really so popular, wouldn’t he get recognized? Even Jiang Cheng got recognized everywhere and it wasn’t always pleasant. Especially if some people wanted something from him and became really rude or demanding. But then he remembered that Wanyin never showed his face to the public. For privacy reasons. And everyone who worked for him had to sign a confidentiality agreement to keep his face hidden. That was really convenient. 

Wanyin and Huaisang walked over to the nearby park and Jiang Cheng noticed that Wanyin was calmer now. 

“Thank you for dragging me outside. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.” 

Wanyin said with a small smile. 

“Of course, every time! You know I always have your back!” 

Huaisang hugged Wanyin’s arm tighter. 

“Still, that doesn’t give you the right to dislocate my arm!” 

Wanyin pushed Huaisang back.

“Alright, alright!” 

Huaisang just laughed and loosened up his grip. They both walked in silence again, found something to eat at a food stand and Wanyin took his surroundings in while eating. There were many families scattered on the grass on different picnic blankets and tables, little kids playing with different kinds of toys and even dogs running around. It was really peaceful and calming. 

They walked for a while but Wanyin still didn’t find any inspiration. He just stopped walking and wanted to tell Huaisang that they should go back when suddenly a flute sound could be heard. This sound reached his core and made him tremble. It was such a breathtaking and heart hammering sound. Somewhere in the corner of his consciousness he noticed that Huaisang was calling for him but he couldn’t concentrate on it. He had to find the source of this sound. His eyes were searching and searching till they landed on a person standing some distance from them. He didn’t really attract attention, he was wearing a white hoodie and black pants, his hair was kept in a simple low ponytail and he was wearing some sunglasses. Most people just walked past him but Wanyin couldn’t look away from him. Like in a trance he got free from Huaisang's hold and before Huaisang could even react Wanyin walked over to the person. 

Jiang Cheng noticed the fastened heart beat and the interest of Wanyin. And this person was of course really familiar to him. Because of course these two would find each other either way. Even in such a big world, even if someone tried to interfere, these two would still find each other. Because of course this person was none other than this world’s Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng recognized him instantly and even his flute music was something familiar to him. He would hear Lan Xichen play Liebig on the battlefield or back when he was studying at cloud recess. Jiang Cheng just groaned and he was just so done. Why, gods, why were the gods just so eager to bring these two together?! 

Wanyin couldn’t explain himself but this person had a strange pull on him. He couldn’t look away and it looked like this person was glowing. It was really enchanting. Wanyin reached him just in time for the song to end and he couldn’t help but to clap. The person flinched and looked at him, his mouth opened and Wanyin even noticed how his eyes got big behind the sunglasses. Wanyin walked over to him, pulled out a crisp one hundred dollar bill and put it in the flute case in front of the person. 

“That was really beautiful. May I have your name?” 

Wanyin asked with a soft voice and a small smile. The stranger was still looking at him like he was something out of this world and Wanyin was afraid that he spooked him. But he couldn’t even say anything else anymore because he just couldn’t help but stare at this person. 

“A-Cheng!” 

Huaisang called and both of them flinched. Wanyin turned around and saw how Huaisang was running over to him.

“I told you over and over again to not wander around without saying anything! You didn’t even realize how much I tried to call you and reach you!” 

He said out of breath. But before Wanyin could even react the stranger said with a surprised voice. 

“Huaisang?” 

That was when Huaisang noticed the person behind Wanyin and looked at him. Suddenly his face lit up and he ran over to the stranger and hugged him real tight. Wanyin was too shocked to react and just looked dumbfounded at these two. 

“Oh my God, Er-Ge you’re back again! Why didn’t you say anything? Or did Da-ge forget to inform me again?” 

The stranger smiled at Huaisang and patted his head. 

“Huaisang, you really haven't changed a bit. I just got back today and didn’t inform anyone yet. I wanted to calm down before meeting everyone. But it’s really a pleasant surprise to meet like this, how have you been?”

Wanyin just coughed and gained the attention of the two again. He really didn’t want to interrupt them but he really wanted to get to know this person better. Because he finally found his inspiration and the last piece he was missing for his photography. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you two but I would like to ask you something important, if that’s okay with you.” 

Wanyin said to the stranger. Huaisang just looked back and forth between them and grinned. He suddenly grabbed Wanyins and the stranger's arm. 

“Oh, where are my manners? Let me first introduce you! Er-Ge, this is my best friend, Jiang Cheng! And Jiang Cheng, this is Da-Ge's best friend Lan Huan. Er-Ge, how about tea? We could go back to A-Cheng's office and talk there?”

Lan Huan was looking at Wanyin, like he wanted to ask for permission and Wanyin nodded slightly. 

“That sounds wonderful and if you don’t mind.”

“Wonderful! And of course we don’t mind, do we, A-Cheng?” 

Huaisang grinned and Wanyin just huffed. 

“Okay, let me just pack up my things.” 

Lan Huan said and began to put everything together. But suddenly he stilled and was staring into his flute case. He slowly reached in and pulled the one hundred dollar bill out of it. He turned to Wanyin and tried to give him the bill back again. 

“I can’t accept so much money! Especially from a friend of Huaisang. Please take it back.” 

Wanyin couldn’t help but to chuckle, this person was really too good for his own good. Yes, he was perfect for his next photo shoot. 

“I can’t take it back, I’m sorry. I would have given you that either way, even without our connection to Huaisang. When I like something I want to support it. So just take it as a reward for your beautiful flute play.”

Lan Huan was just staring at him again and it looked like he wanted to protest. Huaisang just sighed and clasped his shoulder. 

“Er-Ge, just drop it. This guy can be stubborn as fuck when he is set on something.”

“Huaisang, language.” 

Lan Huan said. 

“Don’t look at me like that! It’s his influence!” 

Huaisang whined while pointing at Wanyin. 

“Hey!” 

Wanyin said but Huaisang just ignored him. 

“And didn’t A-Cheng want to ask you something? Just take this as a fee for hearing him out, okay? So, let’s go!”

Huaisang grabbed both of their arms again and pulled them along till they arrived at the office. 

Huaisang quickly made some tea, put together some cookies and set the table in the little conference room just right in front of the photo studio. It didn’t even look like a photo studio and the walls were filled with different kinds of artworks. No one would guess that the famous photographer would work here. 

“So Er-Ge, how have you been? How was the world tour? You were gone for five years!” 

Huaisang asked. 

“World Tour?" 

Wanyin interrupted before Lan Huan could answer. 

“Ah, I always forget that you live under a rock when it comes to celebrities and famous people. Even being famous yourself. I first thought you recognized him and was really surprised but of course you didn’t.” 

Huaisang tsked. 

“Huaisang, watch your mouth! Don’t forget that I’m still your boss.” 

Wanyin glared. 

“Yeah, yeah, and I also know that you would be lost without me.” 

Huaisang waved with his hands. Wanyin heard a chuckle and it was the most beautiful sound he heard. He looked at Lan Huan and saw how his whole face lit up. 

“You can really tell how close you two are. To answer your question, I’m a flutist and just completed a world tour. Maybe you heard some of my songs on the radio or in commercials. And did I understand it right, you both work together? May I ask what you do for work?” 

Lan Huan smiled at them. It seemed like Huaisang suddenly remembered his confidentiality agreement because he really had a panicked look on his face and was looking at Wanyin. Wanyin just sighed. He had to tell his occupation either way, because he wanted to ask Lan Huan to be his model. And it didn’t seem like Lan Huan had any bad intentions or something for recording or even filming this conversation. 

“Don’t worry Huaisang, I wanted to tell him anyway because I finally found the thing I was searching for.”

Huaisang's eyes got really big but then he couldn’t help but grin. Wanyin saw that Lan Huan got even more confused. Wanyin coughed. 

“Do you know the famous photographer named Wanyin by any chance?” 

Wanyin stared intensely at Lan Huan. 

“You mean the most famous photographer of our time with his beautiful and breathtaking photos? Of course I know him, I’m his biggest fan! I even got every photo book of him!” 

Lan Huan had sparkles in his eyes. Suddenly he looked at Wanyin and became horrified. 

“Oh no, don’t tell me you work for him? Please don’t tell him how I just fangirled like that, it’s so embarrassing.”

Lan Huan blushed. But Wanyin was just speechless and his face was really hot. He was sure that he was red as a tomato. No one told him something like this right into his face. He was not used to it. Huaisang tried to hide his laugh but couldn’t and started to crackle. 

“Oh my god, this is just the best! I can’t hahahaha!” 

He held onto his stomach. 

“Huaisang.” 

Wanyin groaned and put his head into his hands.

“Did I say something wrong?” 

Wanyin heard Huan ask. 

“Hahaha, no, nothing wrong.” 

Huaisang breathed in and out. 

“Er-Ge, A-Cheng here, doesn’t just work for Wanyin. He is Wanyin and I’m his assistant.” 

A long silence followed that statement and Wanyin slowly lifted his head, just to look at Lan Huan's shocked and really red face. They both just stared at each other and everything just seemed to stay still. 

“O-oh, em, I-I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

Lan Huan was the first to break eye contact and looked away, ashamed. Wanyin just waved with his hand. 

“Don’t worry, it’s alright. I’m happy that you like my work and that it seems like it brings you joy.” 

Wanyin smiled. 

“Really? That’s good then.” 

Lan Huan looked up with a shy smile. Wanyin coughed again. 

“The reason why I wanted to talk to you was because I have a request. Don’t worry, you can say no if you feel uncomfortable. Would you be interested to be my model for my new photo project? I already searched for so long without finding the perfect match. But when I saw you at the park, playing your flute, I just couldn’t help but to be inspired.”

Lan Huan just stared at him with his mouth open.

“Psst, Er-Ge, you better close your mouth before a fly tries to fly into it.” 

Huaisang said in a false whisper. He really had too much fun now and Wanyin just rolled his eyes. 

“I can understand that this is really sudden. How about you look over the contract and think about it for some days, hm? I’m sure you also have to look into your schedule as a famous artist. And I’m sure you have to talk to your management about it before you can decide.” 

Wanyin walked over to a sideboard, opened a drawer and walked to the table again. 

“This is our standard contract for photo shootings. I also attached my business card to it. Please don’t worry about scheduling problems or something like that. I’m totally flexible and can adjust to your working schedule. Just contact me if you made your decision, hm?” 

Wanyin smiled at Huan again and then turned to Huaisang.

“Huaisang, you can take the rest of the day off and catch up with Lan Huan, I don’t mind. I still have some work to do and have to go back to my office. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He turned to Huan again.

“And I hope I hear from you soon. Till then.” 

He bowed slightly and went back to his office. 

Jiang Cheng couldn’t even comprehend all of the things that just happened. Just what the hell happened? He never would have imagined to be this direct and just say things without thinking about it too much. Or just walk over to the things he wanted to have and ask them this directly. He always had to think about the consequences, he never wanted to be weak again like he was just right after the sun-shot campaign. 

So he put on a mask and planted fear into the people. And he never heard someone talk about him with such admiration. They feared him, even his people weren’t comfortable enough to talk like that with him. But here? Everyone was so open and seemed so free. It was really confusing and his desire just to stay in one of these worlds grew. He shook his head. He really shouldn’t think like that. He didn’t belong in any of these worlds. And he had to go back to his world no matter what. He could do this. 

Wanyin was so inspired that he instantly wanted to work out his ideas onto the paper and specify them. It had been so long since he got so worked up about a photo shoot. He really hoped that Lan Huan would say yes. Either way, he still started to work on the concept of this photo shoot and once he started he couldn’t stop till he was satisfied with his work. He didn’t even realize that it got so late when he finished up the final touches. Grabbing his sketchbook and putting it in a locked drawer, he stood up, stretched his sore muscles, closed his office up and walked home. 

The cool and refreshing night air welcomed him when he left his office building and he shrugged into his coat. Luckily the walk home wasn’t that long and soon he already reached his apartment. After getting himself ready to bed he just let himself fall into his bed. The day was really exciting but also exhausting. His last thoughts before sleeping were on Lan Huan and his captivating aura. 

Of course. Of fucking course. After so many times Jiang Cheng noticed the signs for falling in love and of course this Jiang Cheng was already long gone. The gods really like to see him suffer. That was it wasn’t it? Just a divine punishment and just being the laughing stock for all of the realms. Jiang Cheng already could see how this would go and he didn’t like it. But maybe this would be over sooner than expected? Maybe them falling in love earlier would bring them to kiss a lot earlier than normally? And then he would be one step closer to his world! Could this be so easy? 

The alarm clock on his smartphone rang and Wanyin slowly opened his eyes. He had a strange dream full of muted white and blue colors and a person looking like a falling angel. Maybe he could also use this on his photo shoot concept? He quickly grabbed his phone and opened his note app to write it down. Next he checked his notifications and he wasn’t surprised that Huaisang wrote to him. He just rolled his eyes. It was probably something ridiculous again. But he still opened the notification and had to laugh because of course it was really something ridiculous. 

Huaisang: A-CHENG! YOU BROKE ER-GE! He literally needed ten minutes to come back to earth again! You can’t just spring something like that on him like that! Give the poor man some time to process the information he got yesterday! 

Wanyin just shook his head. Huaisang was really dramatic and ridiculous most of the time. 

Cheng: You’re overreacting. It was just a normal business proposal. Don’t be late for work. 

Wanyin put down his phone and got ready for work. Even if he didn’t get Huan's answer today, he still wanted to work on the other photo shoot concept. His dream was really inspirational. Maybe he could even shoot both concepts with Huan? And if not, he would let Huan choose the concept he was more comfortable in. That is, if he said yes to working with him. Wanyin really hoped so. 

Reaching his office building and walking over to his office, he already saw Huaisang pacing around while being on a call. He was so deep into the conversation he didn’t even notice Wanyin. So Wanyin took a seat in the lobby and waited till Huaisang was finished. He really needed to talk to him about the materials they needed for these two projects. Finally Huaisang ended his phone call and exclaimed “YES!” while making a winning fist.

“Did you receive good news?” 

Wanyin smirked and stood up. 

“Oh god, A-Cheng don’t scare me like that!” 

Huaisang dramatically placed his hand over his heart. Wanyin raised an eyebrow. 

“Scare you? I was already here for five minutes. It’s not my problem that you didn’t notice me.”

“Ooohh, but you can’t blame me for being so preoccupied with this phone call! It was important, okay?” 

Huaisang huffed. Wanyin just rolled his eyes. 

“You can tell me more about it while following me to my office. I need your help with organizing the materials I need for the shootings.” 

“Oh you already worked out the final concept? That was really fast!” 

“Yes, I will tell you later more about it. Just tell me what the call was about.” 

Wanyin said impatiently. He really hoped that he may have already received an answer from Huan. The earlier the better. 

“Oh, yes, the phone call! The manager of Lan Huan called me and Huan and his manager are interested in the shooting! But before they definitely agree to it, they want to see the concepts you worked on for Huan. I already arranged a meeting between them and us for five p.m this evening. I had a feeling that you wanted to meet them as soon as possible and I was right.” 

Huaisang wiggled with his eyebrows. He really knew Wanyin too well. 

“That’s fine by me, but is it fine by you? You need to gather the materials sooner this way.”

Wanyin smirked.

“Oh no, please don’t tell me you planned something over the top!” 

Huaisang groaned but still listened to Wanyin when he explained both of the concepts to him and made him the list with the things he needed. Even if Huaisang always complained and whined, he was really efficient with his work and always managed to finish it on time. In no time the studio was set with both concepts and they were ready to receive their guests. 

Soon after everything was set both Huan and his manager arrived at his office. Huaisang welcomed them and put them into the little conference room from yesterday. Wanyin was already waiting there and all of them exchanged polite greetings. 

And Jiang Cheng couldn’t believe his eyes, because right in front of him was none other than Jin Guangyao! But something was different again, his name wasn’t Jin Guangyao, but Jin Ziyao! And then he remembered something again, of course they both already met in this world! His sister, Jin Ziyao, Jin Zixuan and him were childhood friends. But they lost contract when both of them had to move away. Wanyin was only ten at a time and was so devastated when they had to leave. And now they really met like this again? 

“Wait a minute, you’re Jin Ziyao? Are you perhaps Yao-Ge? The brother of Zixuan?” 

Wanyin couldn’t believe it. 

“Oh my god, don’t tell me that you’re little A-Cheng! When Huan told me about you I thought that the same name was just a coincidence, but it’s really you! Look how much you’ve already grown!” 

Ziyao grinned. 

“So you two already know each other?” 

Huaisang asked. 

“Yes, we grew up together, his sister, Zixuan, him and me! So you could say that we were childhood friends?” 

Ziyao answered. 

“What a small world.” 

Huan chuckled. 

“Wait, is Zixuan also in town? How about we go to dinner after this? I can also call JieJie, I’m sure she would be delighted to know that you’re in town.” 

Wanyin suggested. 

“That’s a great idea, let me quickly write Zixuan and then we can go on with the meeting.”

Wanyin nodded and also wrote his JieJie before continuing the meeting. 

“I read the contract you gave Huan and we don’t have any objections. But I still have to ask just to make sure. Do you really just want ten percent of the winning and of course the credit for the photos, if we’re going to use your pictures? And if we don’t use them commercially, we can have them for free?” 

Ziyao asked. 

“Yes, you read it right. I was the one who wanted to shoot Huan, not the other way around. And this project is really personal for me, I don’t plan to publish a photo book from it or use the pictures commercially. I just wanted to shoot something just for the fun of it again. It’s been too long. But I also didn’t want to take your time just for some private shooting. That’s what the ten percent are for. That’s the normal licensing fee I take for pictures I shoot without a commission for commercial use.” 

Wanyin answered. Ziyao just nodded and asked the next question. 

“Do you already have a concept in mind? I would really have to see it before we agree to the shooting.”

“Of course, I can even show you the setting we already built. If you would follow me.”

Wanyin stood up and brought them to the studio while explaining the two concepts he had in mind. 

The first concept was a really traditional concept with snow covered mountains, old temples and architecture in the background. Huan would wear a traditional costume in the colors of light blue and white. This idea came to him when he heard Huan play his flute. It reminded him of the calmness of the mountains, of scholars that lived to study and to expand their knowledge, not to gain advantage and just a world in peace. And Jiang Cheng instantly recognized the scenery. Of course, because it looked exactly like cloud recess. Even the costume was exactly like the ropes that the Lans wore. It was really strange to see something so familiar in a world that was so different. Wanyin explained that for this photo shoot Huan would play his songs on the flute while wearing the costume and Wanyin would just capture that. Wanyin really wanted to bring out the emotion he felt while hearing Huan playing the flute, so not Huan, but his music was the main point of this concept. 

The second concept was more intimate. The background contained a big fake window looking out at a picture perfect beach. Before it was a big king-size bed with white sheets and many blue and white pillows. Blue and white silk and chiffon curtains were hanging off of the ceiling, giving everything a dreamy vibe. Even the costume was more simple. It just contained white pants and a button up shirt. Huan would were the shirt unbuttoned and the pants without any belt. The main point of this concept was to capture Huan as a person, his true essence without the influence of the people around him. This was inspired from his dream, he first thought that he was just intrigued by Huan's flute music, but even his person stirred something in him that he didn’t understand. For this Wanyin had to touch Huan more often to pose him right, so consent and the well-being of Huan was the most important thing here. 

“If you agree to shoot with me, you don’t have to do both of the concepts. I am content either way even if you agree just to go with one concept. I would like to shoot it either way. So the choice is yours. Do you have any more questions?” 

Wanyin asked Ziyao and Huan.

“Yes, I have one regarding the second concept. Am I correct in my assumption that Huan wouldn’t have to get naked for it? He would just be semi shirtless?” 

Ziyao asked. 

“Yes, me personally I’m not the biggest fan of nude photography. I just want to capture the essence of Huan. If you would like, we can add a clause to the contract for it.”

Wanyin answered. 

“That would be great!” 

Ziyao said and Wanyin turned to Huaisang and gave him the task to do that. 

“I have one more question, how long would the photo shoot take?” 

Ziyao asked. 

“The first concept would take around one full shooting day, so about eight hours. I already counted in the breaks Huan has to take to catch his breath and to get a rest. The time of the second concept depends on how quickly Huan feels comfortable here and with me. But I think it shouldn’t take more than two to three days.” 

Wanyin explained. Huaisang came back the moment Wanyin finished his explanation and gave Ziyao the revised contract. And Wanyin had to take a double take because he just saw how Huaisang blushed when Ziyao took the contract from him and thanked him. Huaisang never blushed! Could it really be? Oh, Wanyin couldn’t wait to tease him about it! He smirked at Huaisang and raised an eyebrow when Huaisang looked back at him and Huaisang had a deer in the headlights look on his face before he turned away. 

Looking back at Ziyao and Huan, it seemed like they didn’t notice anything because they were deep into a conversation. Probably to discuss if they wanted to do this. Wanyin turned back to Huaisang again and noticed how his eyes never left Ziyao. So he learned and teased him about it. 

“I never saw you act like this. And blush like a little maiden. What happened to the over confident Huaisang?” 

He smirked at Huaisang. Huaisang abruptly turned to him and just threw him a scandalous look. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

He mumbled while crossing his arms. 

“Of course of course. Like you don’t know that your eyes are practically glued on Ziyao or how you swallowed when he gave you a smile.” 

Wanyin teases Huaisang. 

“Oh just shut up.”

Huaisang grumbled and turned away. It was really just too funny to tease him. 

Jiang Cheng still couldn’t get used to this friendship. It was so out of character for him. He never teased anyone, never spoke to them so freely. His mother’s stern and strict upbringing never allowed him to be this open and free. He always had to keep up the image of the perfect sect heir, always had to be on his toes and always had to think about what to say. Of course sometimes it just didn’t work, especially when he was angry. But he lashed out, not talking so carefree. Always afraid to receive his mother’s anger, always afraid of being not enough when he didn’t keep that image his mother wished of him. That was why seeing this genuine friendship always made him feel enraged. 

But behind the anger was just envy, envy for connections he never could have. Jiang Cheng shook his head. No, he couldn’t think like that. He was always alone and managed everything just fine. He didn’t need anyone else. They would leave him sooner or later either way. 

Ziyao and Huan turned back at them again and Wanyin noticed the big smile on Huan's face. It looked like they came to a decision. 

“We would like to take you up on the offer to shoot Huan. We were already searching for a photographer to shoot the next album cover, so this is really perfect. We were also searching for a fan book concept, something to give back to the fans that supported us. So we would like to shoot both of the concepts if that’s okay with you.” 

Ziyao smiled at Wanyin. Wanyin was really excited and couldn’t believe it! He really thought that if Huan would agree to the photo shoot, it would just be the first concept. But to be able to shoot both of them? It was really a dream come true.

“Of course, thank you so much for agreeing to this! Please sign the contract at your earliest convenience and give it to Huaisang. You can also tell him the schedule that is the best fitting for you. And if you have any other questions please reach out to us. We would gladly help you.” 

Wanyin grinned. Ziyao nodded and turned to Huaisang. 

“May I take some of your time and assistance? I would like to sign the contract now and would like to exchange our contact information, if that’s okay with you.” 

“Yes, of course, let’s go to the conference room.” 

Huaisang shyly smiled at Ziyao and off they went. Wanyin just grinned at the interaction. He never thought that Huaisang would be so obvious. 

“Wanyin, can I ask you for a private favor?” 

He suddenly heard Huan ask. Wanyin turned to him and smiled at him. 

“Of course, what can I do for you?” 

Somehow Huan became really shy again and looked away. He bent down to his backpack and took a stack of books out of it. 

“I apologize if it’s inappropriate, but would you be willing to sign my copies of your photo books?” 

Huan blushed. Wanyin couldn’t look away and was stunned. Nobody till now asked him to sign something. They stood there in silence, both of them looking at each other without moving. Huan was really too beautiful and enchanting and he had the honor to photograph this man. Suddenly, he realized that Huan asked him a question, so he broke the silence. 

“Yes, of course, no problem at all. Do you have a pen?” 

Huan just nodded and gave him a black permanent marker and both of them walked over to the little standing table at the corner of the studio. Huan had really bought all of his publications, even his debut book which didn’t have that many sales. So Huan was really a long time fan. It really warmed his heart. Wanyin signed each one of them one after the other and made sure to leave small messages in each of them. Like how he was thankful that he said yes and how his music made him feel. He just finished signing the last book when Ziyao and Huaisang left the conference room and walked over to them. 

“Everything settled, you can start shooting tomorrow. Huan already had a month off after his tour so there weren’t any scheduling problems.” 

Ziyao said. 

“That’s perfect for me, I can’t wait for it.” 

Wanyin grinned. 

“It’s already gotten late, how about the dinner we talked about? Zixuan is already on his way over here.” 

Ziyao suggested. 

“That’s a great idea! Huan, Huaisang, do you have anything to do after this?” 

They both shook their heads. 

“How about you join us for dinner? I’m sure JieJie would be delighted to see you again, Huaisang. And I’m sure she would also like to meet you Huan.” 

After receiving confirming words Wanyin called his sister and together they walked to the upscale Chinese restaurant near the studio. Zixuan was already waiting for them in front of the office building and Yanli joined them in front of the restaurant. They of course got a private booth so Huan wouldn’t get recognized and after ordering the drinks and the food, the conversations just went smoothly. 

Yanli was delighted to see Zixuan again and Zixuan seemed at least equally happy to talk to Yanli again. Huaisang and Ziyao were in their own world and talked about all kinds of things but Wanyin couldn’t fault him for that. He was also in a deep conversation with Huan and he was surprised just how natural it felt. It felt like he knew Huan since forever and he really enjoyed himself. 

And of course he noticed just how breathtakingly beautiful Huan was. He of course knew it already but being this close to him he couldn’t help but notice the small things that really emphasized his beauty. Like how his eye color wasn’t a simple brown but had specks of gold in them, or how his lips would tilt when he tried his best to hide a smirk. How his blush would sometimes spread till his collar bones when Wanyin would compliment him or how his smooth voice would penetrate him right into his core. He didn’t even notice at first just how close they were leaning to each other and how Wanyin felt the heat coming from Huan. They were so lost into their own world that they didn’t even notice that everyone else was ready to go home. A cough broke the spell and both of them flinched like they noticed that they weren’t alone here. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you love birds but we should go home. We all have an early day tomorrow.” 

Huaisang smirked at him and Wanyin could see that this was revenge for his earlier teasing.

“Who are you calling love birds.” 

Wanyin grumbled and leaned back into his chair again. He called over the waiter to pay for the meals, even if all of them protested that they wanted to pay. But everybody knew how stubborn Wanyin was so they knew the protests were pointless. After gathering his things and helping Huan up, Wanyin and the rest of them left the building and said their goodbyes. On his walk home Wanyin couldn’t wait to finally shoot something so enchanting and beautiful and he hoped that the next day would come soon. 

Jiang Cheng just groaned. Why was everyone just so shameless?! He couldn’t take it anymore, it was really just too much! He of course knew that the other versions of Lan Xichen and him would fall in love again, but to be bluntly presented with this right in front of his face was a different matter. 

Why did every version of him have to be this cheesy and so in love? Couldn’t they just keep it to themselves?! And to see himself so openly flirting with the Lan was just too much! He wasn’t his shameless for fucks sake! He had dignity! But it seemed like that was just non-existent with his other versions. He really hoped that at least this shamelessness would bring both Wanyin and Huan to kiss each other a lot quicker. He just wanted to flee all of this and it seemed like this was the only way to leave the world he was in. 

Wanyin quickly got ready for bed and lay on his bed with butterflies in his stomach and a giddy feeling all over his body. He really was excited for tomorrow. Maybe he was a little too excited because his brain let him dream a really sensual and breathtaking dream. 

He was standing in his studio, getting ready for the second concept of the photo shoot. He was setting the right adjustments of his camera, so the pictures would look like he wanted them to be. Suddenly strong arms circled his torso and his back was pushed into a firm and muscular surface. 

“Wanyin…” 

A breath ghosted his ear and he got goosebumps all over his body. He couldn’t help but lean into the embrace, tilting his head so his neck was stretched. Wandering hands stroke and caressed his upper body and it felt just too good. Light kisses were pressed on to his neck and Wanyin couldn’t hold back his moan anymore. Suddenly he was turned around and the first thing he saw was the hungry gaze of Huan. Because of course it was Huan, no one else could make him feel that way. 

“Wanyin…” 

Huan breathed just a few inches from his lips. Wanyin had to swallow and saw how Huan's eyes wandered down to his Adam's apple and back into his eyes. His gaze got even more heated and it made Wanyin's heart racing even more. Huan’s hand wandered his back down onto his ass. He gave it a light squeeze and pushed Wanyin even more on to his body. They were skin to skin, without any space in between and Wanyin noticed the hardness between them. His brain just short circuited. Just what was happening? Wanyin was just speechless and couldn’t do anything but stare into Huan's hungry gaze. 

“Wanyin… please only look at me. Only touch me. I need you Wanyin…” 

Huan said against his lips. The distance between their lips was too narrow and too wide at the same time. Wanyin didn’t know if he wanted to lean in or to back out. But his body had a mind on his own because he was already leaning in, Huan doing the same. 

But just before he could feel Huan's lips on his own, a loud alarm sound woke him up and he literally sprang up from his bed. He was breathless, sweating and so so hot. His heart was really beating hard and it wasn’t the only thing that was hard. Wanyin couldn’t believe it! He wasn’t a teenager anymore, he really thought he outgrew these kinds of dreams! Could he even act normal in front of Huan after this? No, it didn’t matter. He had to act normal and do his job, he waited too long for this! Taking a few calming breaths Wanyin got out of his bed and immediately went into the shower to take care of his little situation before he got ready for work. 

What the fuck was that…? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! Jiang Cheng could still feel the phantom touches and kisses on his neck and he shuddered. He never had a dream like this before, never had even the time for these kinds of things! And even in the other worlds everything was more innocent and he never felt the kisses between his versions and Xichens versions. But this dream, this dream felt too real! Just what was Wanyin thinking?!

And the worst part was that the dream made even him hot and hard. He always thought that such things would leave him unbothered and that he never would feel something like this again after the Wens captured him. The Wens took even this from him, making him afraid of intimacy. And of course, like opening a too full container, the pictures of his past bothered him again and he couldn’t do anything against it. Everything he wanted to forget and everything that was done to him flashed one by one in front of his eyes. He tried to suppress them again, not now, not when his soul wasn’t in his body. 

So he closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing while letting go of his past. At least that helped him with his little problem. But Jiang Cheng was just exhausted after all of this emotional chaos. He just hoped that the gods would have a little mercy with him and that today wouldn’t be that eventful. 

Wanyin walked over to his office and was a lot calmer in the meantime. The shower and his daily routine really helped him to calm down. He could do this, he was a professional, god damn! 

“Good morning A-Cheng! Er-Ge is already here and is getting ready!” 

Huaisang greeted him cheerfully. 

“Huan is already here? But isn’t it too early?” 

Wanyin asked. 

“Yes, it seems like he couldn’t wait for today and wanted to start as quickly as possible. He seemed really excited and he even brought us breakfast!” 

Huaisang wiggled with his eyebrows while giving him a cup of coffee and a sweet pastry. 

“He is already waiting for you in the studio.”

“Thanks.” 

Wanyin mumbled, took a bite of the pastry and a sip of his coffee before heading to the studio. 

A beautiful tune could already be heard and Wanyin immediately calmed down. It was really magical how music could influence the feelings and emotions of humans so much. With quiet steps, he opened the door and walked over to Huan. And seeing Huan in traditional clothes, fully concentrating on his music with his eyes closed and playing his flute was the most beautiful thing Wanyin saw till now. 

He patiently waited till Huan was done, letting him get inspired for the different angles and positions for the shooting today. Taking out his camera from its case and setting the right adjustments for the perfect pictures Wanyin did his best not to think about his dream that began in a similar way. It was just a dream. Maybe he was just sexually frustrated? He never had any relationship and the few dates here and there never got further than meeting up for coffee. But the thing was, he never felt something like that. 

Of course he had wet dreams as a teenager but he never could remember what he dreamed about, just saw the aftermath. And he couldn’t even remember if he was ever this intrigued by a person like this. He thought that maybe he just wasn’t made for these kinds of relationships and he was content with it. His friends and family were more than enough. But this? It was something he never felt like before! And then it hit him - was this the famous gay awakening people were talking about? 

“Wanyin?” 

Huan called after him and Wanyin flinched and came back to the here and now. He shouldn’t let his mind wander like that, he was a professional! He breathed in and out. 

“Huan, I see that you’re finished. Are you ready for today’s shooting?” 

Wanyin smiled at him. Huan's face lit up and he nodded. 

“Yes, I was so excited I couldn’t sleep much the night before. It was always a dream to be photographed by you! Thank you for giving me this opportunity.” 

Huan bowed to him. 

“Please, you don’t have to be so formal with me! I’m just a human myself. Please just be your normal self and no more thank yous and sorrys for these kinds of things, okay? I wanted to shoot you so I have to be the one to thank you.” 

Wanyin commented. 

“Okay, as you wish Wanyin.” 

Huan grinned at him. 

“Should we get started?”

After nodding, Wanyin instructed Huan just to play his flute like he normally would. Wanyin wanted to capture the uninterrupted play of the flute first before instructing Huan to pose differently. And every time he shot a photo it just took his breath away. Huan really looked so ethereal and unreachable, like a god that graced them with his presence. 

After shooting some more photos and finishing some songs they took their first break. They talked like yesterday again, like they knew each other for eternity and Huan became even more and more relaxed. They joked around, laughed so much and talked about different kinds of things. It seemed like they just couldn’t stop talking and it was really fun. 

They took a couple more pictures, this time Wanyin instructed Huan just to pose with his flute. Everything came really beautifully together. Wanyin was really happy that he could do this, it was definitely worth it! Wanyin and Huan were so immersed in their work that they didn’t notice just how much the time flew by. The intense atmosphere was broken by a knock on the door. 

“Er-Ge, A-Cheng, it’s already gotten late. You should finish for the day!” 

Huaisang called from the other side of the door. Wanyin and Huan just looked at each other and suddenly burst out laughing. 

“I didn’t even realize how much time had passed! It was so fun!” 

Huan grinned. 

“Yes, same here.” 

Wanyin agreed. 

“Do we have enough photos or do you need more time for this set?” 

Huan asked. Wanyin zapped through his photos. He really took so many pictures! 

“Ehm these should be enough. We can start with the second set tomorrow if it’s alright with you.” 

“Of course it is! I can’t wait to see the final results!” 

Huan exclaimed. 

“I hope they will be to your liking. Go get changed while I’ll tidy up here.”

Huan nodded and went to the adjacent changing room while Wanyin put away the probs and other things they used for the photos. After that was done and after Huan changed into his normal clothes, both of them left the studio while talking to each other. 

“Er-Ge, A-Cheng, there you are! It seemed like you had fun together.” 

Huaisang grinned. 

“Yes, it was really fun, I can’t wait for tomorrow.” 

Huan commented and Wanyin couldn’t help but to blush. Nobody said something like that to him and Huan was just too honest for his own good. He had to change the topic. 

“Huaisang, Huan and I wanted to eat dinner together, do you want to join us?” 

He asked. 

“Oh, A-Cheng, every other time I would love to but I already have an appointment for today. Maybe another time? And either way, I don’t want to disturb you two love birds.” 

Huaisang wiggled with his eyebrows. 

“HUAISANG!” 

Wanyin hissed but Huaisang just ignored him and said his goodbyes while laughing. 

“I’m so sorry about him. He can be really dramatic and likes to tease everyone.” 

Wanyin sighed while turning back to Huan. Did he imagine it or was Huan blushing again?

“Please don’t worry about it. I grew up with him, I know how he is.” 

Huan grinned. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. That’s good. Should we go?” 

Wanyin asked. Huan just nodded and together they went to this delicious Italian restaurant. 

Arriving at the restaurant they were brought to a private booth again. Quickly ordering their drinks and food they began talking again and Wanyin felt really safe and content. He never talked this much about himself, always being more of a listener than a talker. But Huan had something on him that he just wanted to talk to him, wanted to get to know him better while opening himself up to him. When was the last time he was this open and comfortable? They were still talking when a waitress walked over to them. 

“Excuse me, I am sorry to interrupt but we are closing in 10 minutes.” 

“Oh, we’re so sorry we didn’t notice the time! Of course, can you give us our check? We will be on our way after paying!” 

Huan said. 

“Of course.” 

The waitress said while bringing the check. Wanyin wanted to pay again this time but he was too slow. Huan already placed some cash into the checkbook and left it on the table. Laughing at Wanyin's stunned face, he grabbed his arm and helped him to get up. 

“You paid last time, it’s my turn this time.” 

Huan smirked while leaving the restaurant. Wanyin just huffed. 

“Okay, but next time I’m going to pay.”

“You want to do this again?” 

Huan asked with sparkles in his eyes but also sounding a little unsure. Like he was intruding on Wanyin. No, this wouldn’t do. 

“Of course, I had a lot of fun today and want to spend more time with you. If it’s alright with you of course.”

“Yes, I would love to! Can I also take you home? I would feel a lot better knowing you got home safe.” 

Huan asked. Wanyin raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m not a young maiden, I can take care of myself. You don’t have to inconvenience yourself.”

“You don’t inconvenience me Wanyin. I want to take you home. Please?” 

Huan was looking at Wanyin with big puppy eyes. How could he say no to this?

“Alright, alright, do as you wish.” 

Wanyin grumbled but couldn’t hide his smile when he saw the big smile on Huan's face. 

The walk home was quiet. It was strange, they couldn’t stop talking till now but now neither he nor Huan talked. But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it was kind of romantic. It was already dark, the moon and the stars were shining brightly and the traffic sound was a soothing background music. The only bad thing was that the walk home was too short. They already reached Wanyin's apartment. 

“This is where I live, thank you for taking me home.” 

Wanyin said in a small voice while looking deeply into Huan's eyes. 

“It was my pleasure.” 

Huan said back in a small voice while holding eye contact. Both of them didn’t move. Wanyin knew he had to turn around and go home, but he just couldn’t. He was captured by Huan's beautiful gold-brown eyes. And it seemed like Huan also didn’t want to leave. Slowly they got closer to each other and Huan lifted his hand to caress the side of Wanyin's face. Wanyin couldn’t help but shudder, the touch gave him goosebumps all over his body. This was really similar to his dream and suddenly he had the need to complete the thing he couldn’t do in the dream. Wanyin's body moved on his own, leaning forward and he saw how Huan was also leaning forward before closing his eyes. Was this really happening? Or was he dreaming again? But the touch on the side of his face and the fresh night air felt too real. This had to be real! 

“Wanyin…” 

He heard Huan whisper. He was already so close, he was sure that they would finally kiss any moment now! But of course it had to be too good to be true because a loud honk made them flinch and the heated atmosphere was broken. Both of them stepped back and had panicked looks on their faces. 

“Oh I’m sorry-“

“I apologize-“

They both started at the same time. They were staring at each other again before breaking into a fit of laughter. 

“You can go first.” 

Wanyin smiled at Huan. He was sure his face was as red as a tomato but he didn’t feel bad. Huan looked the same way. Huan just shook his head. 

“Thank you again for this wonderful day. I had such a wonderful time. I’ll see you tomorrow again?” 

He asked shyly.

“I told you, you don’t have to thank me every time. I also had a wonderful time. And yes, of course we will see each other again tomorrow. Have a good night, Huan.” 

Wanyin answered. 

“Good night to you too, Wanyin.” 

Huan said while walking backwards and waving him goodbye. They still looked at each other, till Huan had to turn around and disappear into a corner. Wanyin was still standing there for some minutes, realizing what just happened before running back into his apartment. Were they really going to kiss? Or did Wanyin misunderstand the situation? Either way his heart was beating really fast and his face was really hot. He really hoped he could catch some sleep today! 

Are these two for real?! Jiang Cheng felt like he was watching a cheesy street performance! Or reading the over the top romance novels his sister enjoyed. This, all of this couldn’t be real! Was he just transported into a cheesy play? And even then, just why did they stop before they kissed! At least that way he would be free from this world! But nooo, of course the gods wouldn’t show him that mercy! Argh! 

Just why did he have to feel all of this! He already made up his mind, he had to find a way back! He didn’t need anything else, didn’t need somebody by his side. He had A-Ling, Wei Wuxian was happy and alive and he had his sect. That was enough! He didn’t deserve more! But why was the touch alone enough to fill his empty heart? Why was he yearning for this so much? 

No, stop, he really needed to stop thinking like that! These people weren’t him! They didn’t do anything bad, they didn’t lose everything and lost themself to anger! It was different and it was alright! It was alright …. Jiang Cheng breathed out. It will be alright. 

Luckily Wanyin had a dreamless night and Jiang Cheng took his time to meditate. He could do this, he had to do this. He just had to calm down. And by next morning his feelings were settled again and he was ready for the new day. 

Wanyin got ready for the day and went even earlier to the studio. He just couldn’t stay still. Reaching his office he realized that he was the first one in the building. Even Huaisang wasn’t here yet. Maybe he could get some breakfast for Huaisang and Huan from the bakery downstairs. Yes, that did sound good. 

So he went downstairs again and bought some sandwiches and two cups of coffee and one cup of tea. When he got back to his office again, Huaisang was already there. But it seemed like he had just arrived. 

“You’re early today!”