Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Outside, the wind howled, its mournful cry resonating within the temple’s walls. Lucius, at the grand age of seven, watched as the priests walked the halls, his bluish-grey eyes settling on a familiar bald face.

The little boy, who had no reason to be at the temple but always had too many questions, ran towards the priest.

" Father Aldric! " the boy nearly screamed.

" Young one ," the priest answered warmly, crouching in front of him. " Do you have more questions, Lucius ?"

Lucius’s smile faded, his small hands clenching at his sides. Yes, yes, he had questions again. None of them made him happy. The priest was always kind, always patient. Always tried to comfort him. But...

" Are my parents still watching over me? " the boy asked. It was the question he always asked, after all. " Even if they are with the gods now? "

For a fraction of a second, Father Aldric's expression grew more serious before he softened again, a slight, forced smile appearing on his face.

" Of course they are. The gods aren’t cruel—they would never take their love away from you. They will always be watching over you ."

Lucius wanted to believe the priest. But he didn’t know if he did. His parents weren’t near him anymore, and the orphanage was cold. It didn’t feel like home.

Father Aldric must have perceived the boy’s unease (not that Lucius was very good at hiding it anyway). Gently, he pulled the child into a warm embrace.

"I promise you; they still love you, even on the other side ," the priest whispered, holding him close until Lucius felt better.

" And... are they happy? Even without me?" Lucius asked weakly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted an answer. He didn’t want his parents to be sad. But if they were happy without him..., were they happier ? Had he kept them from truly being at peace?

" I’m sure they are—as long as you are ," Father Aldric answered without hesitation. Lucius always asked the same questions, after all, and it was easy to know what the little boy wanted to hear.

Lucius was about to ask more questions when the resigned, tired voice of Sister Eleana called his name.

" Well, it looks like our time together is ending for today ," Father Aldric said softly, gently ruffling the boy’s hair. " Go on now, I’ll be here for you tomorrow ."

Lucius didn’t want to leave. But he also knew he’d be in trouble if he ignored Sister Eleana and didn’t return to the orphanage with her. He was already lucky enough not to get punished for sneaking out—probably because he always snuck out to the temple.

He walked over to the sister, who took his hand without much care for how tightly she gripped it. Her hold was almost painful as she pulled him along. If she hadn’t grabbed him, he probably would have struggled to keep up. Even now, it was difficult.

Sister Eleana wasn’t happy—that much was clear. But then again, when was she ever happy? She always seemed to hover somewhere between frustration and anger.

Had it been anyone else, Lucius might have asked if they could stop by the market. Or the bakery. Of course, the orphanage staff would never buy anything for him, but…

When his parents were still alive, they used to go there, the air rich with the scent of fresh bread. They didn’t always buy something—just being there was enough. But that wasn’t something Lucius could do anymore.

There were a lot of things Lucius couldn’t do anymore, now that he thought about it.

He couldn’t play outside in the village anymore. He had no one to talk to about his day at night (okay, maybe Father Aldric, but he only ever saw Father Aldric during the day). And there was no one to comfort him after a nightmare, either.

Lucius told himself he wasn’t sad.

…Okay, maybe a little bit. But only because his parents weren’t here anymore. Not because the sisters barely cared for him and the other children beyond keeping them alive. They had so many to take care of, of course they couldn’t give him more than that.

Even if Lucius wanted them to care.

Even if he wished they would let him stay at the temple just a little longer.

Even if…

Sister Eleana gave his hand a sharp tug as he slowed down, fighting back tears. They were nearly at the orphanage’s immense, creaking wooden doors.

He’d probably be scolded for voluntarily missing chores, even though he wanted to do them. He really did! It’s just… the mornings were the only time when the sisters were too tired to notice him sneaking out.

And that meant missing chores.

But Lucius just wanted to see the only person who always tried to comfort him.

But none of the sisters would care about that, would they? At least he only got a scolding, usually. Not the usual harsh punishment most of the other (and often, older) boys would get when they sneaked out.

Maybe that’s why they let it slide—as long as he did extra work later, and as long as he kept going to the temple, and nowhere else. Or maybe it was because Lucius never complained when he got more chores to do in the afternoon due to missing the morning ones. And maybe that was why it didn’t matter as much, as long as he got to see Father Aldric every day.

He already knew what they would assign him—washing dishes, cutting vegetables. The quiet jobs, the ones the other children hated. That was fine. He didn’t mind. He was used to it.

The bed was cold, despite the other snoring kid Lucius had to share it with due to the lack of space.
  His eyes darted toward the small window—a rare luxury in the orphanage’s dormitory. The sand-coloured moon shone full in the night sky, while the blue one was nowhere to be seen.

In one week, there would be no chores. In one week, Lucius wouldn’t get to see Father Aldric. Not because he was getting adopted. Oh, no. No one would be adopted in a week. In a week, Andrifia’s Festival would begin.

Lucius hoped his parents were near her, in the world of the dead. Father Aldric always said everyone reached it after dying. So, a goddess who sacrificed herself… she’d be there too, right? 

Maybe he shouldn’t be thinking about that while trying to fall asleep. But he missed his parents. And the boy he shared the bed with snored like an angry bear. Lucius doubted he’d get any sleep tonight.

But… he had something to distract his mind. It wouldn’t be the first time. He extended his arm, fingers spread so the moonlight passed between them. Then, he let the magic run through.

Tingling bloomed at his fingertips—magic that wanted to be released. Lucius knew how to call it. Not how to use it. Not yet.

But late at night, with no one left to cry for, the magic’s joy—near euphoria—just from existing, always helped. And so did its quiet disappointment. It wanted to be used. Magic liked being used. Lucius wished he knew how. But little boys — especially those who had just turned seven — weren’t supposed to know magic at all.

He didn’t remember how he learned it. Only that his parents were still alive, but people were already saying he shouldn’t go near them. That a little boy shouldn’t be there.

And then—a fever. No. Lucius probably shouldn’t think about it. His parents died when he was sick. Apparently sick themselves. But Lucius came out of it knowing how to call magic.

The seven-year-old turned his gaze to the sky. When he was very small, he remembered his mother telling him the stars were all wishes, just waiting to come true.

But his mom never really believed in the gods. Father Aldric said the gods didn’t care much for faith anyway. And once someone explained what faith actually meant, that part had sounded weird to Lucius. And it’s on these last thoughts that magic lulled the boy into sleep.

Chapter Text

Lucius woke to someone gently, but firmly, shaking his shoulder. Sleep clung to him like a fog as his eyes fluttered open.

Sister… Sister… He blinked up at the unfamiliar honey-like face. She wasn’t one of the Sisters he knew. She hadn’t been working at the orphanage two weeks ago, and his sleepy mind couldn’t quite hold onto her name.

The tiny window above his bed, the one that always let in the first light of morning, showed nothing but darkness. No sunlight. No moonlight. Which meant it was still night.

Why was a Sister waking him up in the middle of the night? Was it because he kept sneaking out in the mornings?

“ Lucius, go clean yourself and put these on ,” the Sister said, placing a folded bundle of clothes into his hands. The fabric was soft, thick—far too good for an orphan.

And the Sister looked happy. Not polite, not stern, not tired. Happy . That was weird. The Sisters never looked happy.

Something was probably wrong. But if she was waking him up before the sun rose, that was probably because he always disappeared to the temple in the morning. Which means he probably should do what the sister told him to do. Except… Except good clothes were not normal. A Sister being happy was not, either.

But the little boy still cleaned himself—at least as well as a seven-year-old could—and put on the too-clean clothes. Then he stepped out of the common bedroom, where the unfamiliar Sister was waiting.

She led him down the hall, to a room he didn’t recognize. A fireplace, that emitted no warmth, lighted up said room. Lucius could only ask himself if it was a magic fire. 

They were a man, sitting by the fire, Lucius was sure he never saw before. The man wore the thick, red and gold colored cloak of nobility. The noble kneeled down, to get down, ending up at Lucius’ eye level.

Still, the little boy washed up—as well as a seven-year-old could—and dressed in the too-clean clothes. Then he stepped out of the common bedroom, where the unfamiliar Sister was waiting.

She led him down the hall, to a room he didn’t recognize. A fireplace flickered at the far end, its flames giving off light, but no warmth. Lucius stared at it, quietly wondering if it was magic.

There was a man sitting by the fire. Lucius was sure he’d never seen him before. The man wore a heavy cloak, red and gold—noble colors.

The noble knelt down to Lucius’s level.

“ The Sisters told me your name is Lucius?” the man asked.

Lucius didn’t answer. His sleepy mind was trying to catch up with the situation. Nice clothes. A strange room he’d never been allowed in. A man no one returned from meeting.

He stared, too long and too silently, making the moment awkward—until finally, it clicked. He was being adopted.

Why would a noble want him?

He probably already had children. Probably wanted someone less strange. Lucius knew he should be excited. Every kid at the orphanage dreamed of being taken in by a noble.

But he wasn’t excited. It hurts. The thought of leaving the city—of leaving the temple, and Father Alric—made something inside him twist painfully.

“Oh—uh… are you able to speak?” the noble added, likely trying to fill the silence.

“ No, Sir. I’m sorry, I can’t, ” Lucius replied—too politely for a child trying to make himself unlikable. No smile left the man's face as he looked at Lucius, probably deciding what would make a better discussion starter.

Which Lucius didn’t understand, because he did not want to go with that man. He looked at the Sister whose name still did not come to his mind. 

“Sister, can I go back to sleep now?” asked Lucius, wishing the question hadn’t come out in that small, polite voice. Maybe he should ask the other kids how they made their voices sound like they were going to do something bad. Maybe if he acted more like the ones who always caused trouble, the noble would decide he wasn’t worth the effort.

But Lucius didn’t think he was doing a very good job of it. The man was still here, still smiling. The Sister wasn’t anymore, but she didn’t look mad either.

“Lucius” , she said gently, “That man has a really nice family that wants to take you in. It’s not time to go back to bed”

“But I’m tired…” Lucius muttered, holding back a yawn—because people weren’t supposed to see you yawn. “And I’m going to be a priest like Father Aldric when I grow up. I don’t need a family for that.”

Was that what troublemakers said? He wasn’t sure. But he knew they always tried to justify themselves, so maybe it was close enough.

“Lucius, everyone—” the Sister began gently, but the nobleman cut her off.

“You want to become a priest?” he asked, his smile tightening, as if he had to force it to stay in place.

“YES!” Lucius burst out, with way too much enthusiasm.

The noble blinked. He looked at Lucius. Then at the Sister. Then back at Lucius. His gaze flicked between them a few more times, the smile slowly draining from his face—until it was gone entirely, replaced by something… resigned.

“Of course you want to become a priest,” the noble sighed, turning to the Sister. “I know I asked for a child who was… pious. But you also knew I needed an heir, and…” He gestured vaguely at Lucius.

“We didn’t know he wanted to join the orders,” the Sister replied quickly. “But he’s still a child—he could change his mind later, and—”

“No, no! I’ll be a priest!” Lucius cut in, a little louder this time. The adults were talking like he wasn’t even in the room, and that felt wrong. He was the one they were deciding things about.

Lucius was waiting outside the room, because the Sister and the noble had told him to. And the Sister had made it very clear that if he ran off to the temple—like he was supposed to—he’d be punished.

If it weren’t for the threat, he would have gone an hour ago. But instead, he was still here, waiting while two adults talked about him behind closed doors.

The seven-year-old boy wished Father Aldric was there, so he could hide in the priest’s arms. He wanted it so badly that, for a moment, he thought he heard the priest’s voice, low and warm, just beyond the hallway corner. But Lucius knew for a fact that Father Aldric wasn’t at the orphanage.

He was just imagining things. Again. 

At least, he was sure of it… until someone sat beside him. Until someone put an arm around his shoulders, drawing him close into the folds of a sandy-colored robe that smelled of incense.

And Lucius started to cry.

He didn’t know how long he cried, silent and shaking. It could have been minutes. Could have been hours. But at some point—between hiccupped breaths and in that polite, childlike tone he always used, now broken by sobs—Lucius began to speak.

He talked about how he missed his parents. How he didn’t want to leave the temple, the city, everything he’d known since he was six. How he didn’t want to grow up and start missing Father Aldric, too. How he didn’t want the noble in that room to adopt him.

The arm pulled him closer. A hand moved in slow, steady circles across his back.

“ I’m here, Lucius. I’m here, ” whispered Father Aldric.

Finally, finally, Lucius pulled his face out of the robes and looked up at him. Father Aldric looked… relieved.

Did he want Lucius to leave the temple?

Lucius had always thought Father Aldric liked seeing him. He must have mumbled something to that effect, because the priest’s arms tightened around him almost immediately.

“It’s just…” Father Aldric began, voice thick with something Lucius didn’t have words for, “I… I thought something had happened to you. When you weren’t at the temple today. And… And…”

Father Aldric didn’t finish his phrase, only holding Lucius tighter, like the little boy would just disappear if he let him go.

Chapter Text

Lucius didn’t know how long he stayed like that, tucked into Father Aldric’s arms. But he didn’t want to go anywhere else.

It didn’t make him feel better—nothing really had since he lost his parents—but… the priest’s arms were comforting. Steady. Even if Father Aldric never finished his sentence after the word “and.” And Lucius would’ve loved to know what he had thought—what he had feared—when Lucius hadn’t shown up at the temple.

“Father Aldric?” came the Sister’s voice—surprised, a little uncertain. The same one who’d woken Lucius that morning. She had just stepped out of the room with the noble.

Lucius quickly buried his face deeper into the priest’s robe, his small fingers clutching the fabric like a lifeline. He was scared they’d make him let go.

“I didn’t know priests came to the orphanage,” the noble said.

Which… Priests did come to the orphanage—just not like this. Usually it was for religious things Lucius was still a little too young to really understand.

“I mean—if the little boy who ran to the temple every day asking questions suddenly didn’t show up, you—” Father Aldric began to explain, almost failing to keep his voice steady. But he was cut off.

“ And? If something happened, then something happened. It would’ve been the will of the gods, ” the Sister said. “ You’re a priest. You should know that. ”

Lucius decided, in that moment, that he didn’t like her. Not at all. And the gods Father Aldric talked about were probably much nicer than the ones the Sister believed in. It never crossed the little boy’s mind that the gods that would let his dead parents watch him would be the same ones that would have willed it to happen. Right?

Lucius thought he heard Father Aldric whispering something about how the gods should keep their trials to themselves, but the little boy was sure he imagined that.

“And that is the kid you say is pious?” asked the noble, watching Lucius and the priest’s interaction with… Something nearly pained in his voice.

“He runs away at the temple everyday!” answered the Sister, nearly screaming, which caused Lucius to look up… And the Sister was avoiding to look at Lucius or Father Adlric, even the little boy could notice that.

The noble glanced at the priest, and now that they were both at the same place… They looked a little bit like each other. “I am pretty sure it’s not for the gods that kids run to the temple every day.”

Everyone probably thought they knew why he ran there. But they didn’t know the questions. They didn’t know the answers he hoped for. Lucius was pretty sure that if other orphans had someone like Father Aldric, they’d also ask him what existed after someone died.

“ And it’s not like my dear cousin took the vows by choice, either ,” added the noble, which… The seven-year-old’s brain somehow stopped working, trying and failing to understand what the noble was speaking about.

“Could we NOT talk about that right now?” asked the priest, annoyed, getting up while holding Lucius. Father Aldric never sounded annoyed when he talked to Lucius.

The noble studied the priest for a few moments before offering a smile — one that was warm and sad all at once. Lucius thought, for a second, that maybe they were able to speak to each other without words, but everyone always told him that was impossible.

“I can’t adopt a boy who wants to join the order as my heir… But the orphanage does allow for some of the orphans to be financed, right?” The noble’s voice was soft, but Lucius didn’t understand what he was talking about at all.

“Not when kids are less than—” the Sister started to object.

“Please, let me indulge my cousin’s faults a little,” the noble interrupted, still smiling—though it sent a shiver down Lucius’s spine . “That boy is going to need it if he wants to join the orders, don’t you think?”

Lucius wasn’t sure he liked his new room. The Sisters always told him the orphanage lacked space when he complained about having to share his bed. But here was a room—so unused it was nearly dusty—with a bed too big for him alone, all because some noble decided to do something for him?

That meant the Sisters had lied. Lucius thought the gods didn’t like it when the people who worked for them lied. Father Aldric had told him that once, when he asked if he lied about his parents still loving him from the other side, and being happy if he was.
But maybe Father Aldric had lied about that.

Somehow, the idea that the priest could have lied to Lucius hurt the little boy—nearly as much as when he understood he would not see his parents ever again.
But Father Aldric wouldn’t lie to him… right? The Sisters weren’t nice like the priest. And they almost never took the time to answer his questions.

And now, he didn’t even have another kid nearby to ask his questions to when the priest wasn’t around. And sure, he didn’t like it when his bedmate started snoring, but… he’d gotten used to the noise.
The silence of the room had something scary to it. Scary enough for him to start thinking he was seeing shadows. Was there a monster under the bed? There were no monsters in the last room, but it was because there were a lot of other kids in it. So that meant they probably were a monster under the bed here.

The little boy wished he wasn’t there. Or that they were someone with him. Like another kid. Or his parents. Or Father Aldric. Father Aldric would probably know what to say to make the monster under the bed go away. At least, if felt like Father Aldric would.

Maybe magic would too? How did one use magic and not just call it? Lucius didn’t know, but maybe he had a magic that makes monsters go away. There must be at least one kind of magic that could make the monster under the bed go away.

Maybe he could try to do it? Like the previous night, Lucius called upon magic. He had no idea how to use it. But he knew he wanted to use it to make the monster and the shadows go away… Maybe if he thought really, really hard about what he wanted to do… Maybe then it would work?

The worst that could happen was the monster not going away. Lucius let the magic run through his fingers, just asking to be used, before putting his hands in front of the shadow under the bed. He hoped the monster would not grab him. Maybe he should not think about that. And just… Wish really, really hard the magic would make the monster actually go away?

Lucius tried to retain the giggles as magic tickled his body, happy, so happy to be used the little boy could nearly think about nothing else but how magic was happy. Not even how he was using magic and not just calling it. But the sheer happiness of magic itself… It was drowning everything, all of what Lucius was feeling, despite the spell failing. Because, contrary to what the little boy thought, magic could not chase monsters away. Even when they didn’t exist, contrary to what a little boy imagined.

And it was tiring. Lucius felt really, really good. Well, maybe like he was hugged by a cloud. It was a weird sensation he didn’t really have words for. But Lucius wasn’t going to complain. He liked the sensation. It was not like Father Aldric’s hug earlier that day. Definitively not comforting. But everything that hurt felt so far away.

If this was what magic felt like… If it felt that good, why did he need to grow up to use it? The grown-up would probably be disappointed he tried to do it if he asked them that question. But the little kid was not in a state of mind to think about that. Instead, he really wanted to say to Father Aldric (or the Sisters, since one was probably closer now) how good it felt.

Grief and the pain coming with it rendered numb by magic, the tickling of using it still clinging to his fingers, Lucius laid down into the bed too big for him alone, not really bothered by anything. And, for the first time since his parents’ death, feeling nothing. He’d tell Father Aldric tomorrow. Maybe then, the priest could explain why it felt good to not feel anything.

Chapter Text

Lucius woke up, still a little numb from the magic, only to hear a knock on the door. The Sisters never knocked. Lucius supposed he should have hoped it wasn’t the noble. But emptiness crowded out everything else, even fear. Maybe if he had been in his right state of mind, he would have hoped it was Father Aldric.

But he wasn’t. All Lucius could register was that he was feeling better than usual. Normally, the hurt inside him ached and gnawed. Now there was only emptiness. And the absence of everything meant there was also no pain. And that was something right. Right?

The knock grew more insistent, but Lucius didn’t have the energy nor the will to say anything. Actually, the little boy wasn’t sure he was entirely there. His head felt wrapped in a cloud. Maybe. If clouds could be the feeling of nothingness.

Of course, the Sister who had knocked eventually lost patience and just… entered the room. Maybe Lucius would have cared. Maybe he should have cared. But he didn’t. It was strange, but it didn’t feel strange. Not as much as it probably should have.

“Wait. You’re still here?” asked Sister Eleana, and she sounded surprised. Why did she sound surprised?

Lucius glanced at the window (which he hadn’t noticed until now) and—oh. The sun was already up. Lucius usually woke a little before sunrise. It didn’t feel as important as it normally did.

“Lucius, are you feeling well?” she asked, looking worried. Somewhere in the corner of Lucius’s mind, even if he was too numb to care, the little boy wondered since when Sister Eleana had cared.

“Not bad,” answered Lucius, because he wasn’t feeling bad. He was feeling… weird. Nothing weird. But that wasn’t bad, was it? He would feel bad—not nothing weird—if he were actually feeling bad, right?

But it probably wasn’t the answer Sister Eleana wanted, judging by the way she looked at him with those two concerned eyes.

“…I was asked to bring you to see Father Aldric today,” she said.

That finally got a reaction out of Lucius. Not a big one—just a flicker—but enough to make the Sister look even more worried.

He should have been happy. Excited, even, at the thought of seeing Father Aldric. But he wasn’t. Just… mildly interested. It wasn’t like the Sister could do anything about his lack of enthusiasm, right?

“Lucius?” There was a crack in Sister Eleana’s voice—a brittle, frightened edge Lucius had never heard before. It wasn’t like the little boy could feel anything right now.

Well, maybe except for the moment she grabbed his wrist with a kind of frantic energy. Not the sharp, impatient kind she usually had. Something else. Something close to panic.

Lucius ran, letting the Sister tug him along without even realizing it hurt. Well… it did hurt, but Lucius had a hard time registering pain. Or really anything close to a feeling. He didn’t even know if he was supposed to feel cold or hot.

He just ran behind her, because she was the one leading everything. And, well, Lucius could still think. But maybe not quite for himself.

At some point, they reached the temple. The painted walls had started to peel, flaking off in soft, crumbling chips, revealing the dead gray beneath. Once bright. Now faded. Like something pretending to be alive.

The Sister had to ask him multiple times which way to go, since Lucius knew Father Aldric’s habits nearly by heart. He answered her—but not with as much enthusiasm as he should have.

After some time, which could have been minutes or hours, they finally found the priest—who took one look at the little boy and went livid.

“Lucius,” Father Aldric started, “did something happen yesterday? Even if it’s supposed to be a secret, you can tell me.”

Of course, Lucius told him—still in that emotionless, distant way—how the Sisters had given him a room where he was the only kid (which seemed to make the priest go even more livid), and that, since he was alone, there was a bed under the bed. So he had used magic to make the monster go away.

Father Aldric didn’t like the explanation, but he started to look less pale. He pressed his hand to his mouth, color slowly returning to his cheeks. A child using magic was bad. But worse possibilities had haunted him.

The Sister left Lucius with Father Aldric. The little boy would probably have been overjoyed, had he been feeling anything.

He was spending time with the priest, in a part of the temple he did not know about: a garden, filled with big, pale, glowing trees that hummed slowly.

In what could be called the shadow of such a tree, Father Aldric made Lucius sit.

“Lucius,” the priest said, sitting down beside him, “do you know how to meditate?”

“I don’t,” answered the little boy. “Why?” he added, looking at Father Aldric with two little eyes, less inquisitive than they had been the days before.

The priest didn’t take much time to explain why. He simply told Lucius that, if he was going to do magic when he shouldn’t, then the least he could do was learn the other things mages had to do. Which included meditation.

Lucius didn’t close his eyes at first. He stared at the bark of the tree, pale and warm like moonlight, and tried to remember what it felt like to feel.

“Listen to the wind. Don’t try too hard. Just notice.” Father Aldric’s voice was soft beside him, more wind than words.

Lucius listened. He heard something between a whistle and a sigh, threading between the leaves above. The humming of the glowing trees joined it, low and even, like a lullaby that didn’t expect to be heard.

“And the footsteps,” added Father Aldric. “They don’t matter. Just let them pass.”

The boy tried. The soft crunch of gravel, the rustle of robes. So many people were going somewhere. Lucius wasn’t. He just existed. He was still. He could do stillness.

“Breathe in,” said Father Aldric, and Lucius didn’t hesitate to obey. “And out.”

The little boy didn’t understand why this was asked of him. He wasn’t stressed or angry. He was feeling nothing. The Sisters always told the orphans who were angry, sad, or stressed to breathe in and out. Never Lucius, who was a big boy and did not cry. But if Father Aldric told him to breathe…

Lucius and the priest spent a long time like that, just sitting on the ground, breathing and listening. At least, the little boy followed Father Aldric’s lead.

After what could have been an hour—or maybe half a day—something furry tickled the orphan’s nose. He opened his eyes with a small sneeze, only to see a black cat’s tail in his face.

It looked far too fluffy to be real. And weakly, Lucius felt his first real emotion of the day: he wanted to pet that cat. That cat that was just at the reach of his arm. With a small smile, which Father Aldric relaxed upon seeing, Lucius petted the cat.

Which the cat did not react well to, as it promptly clawed at Lucius and darted away. The six-year-old flinched, his hand stinging. He looked up at the old priest with a nearly sad expression. Actually… he was sad. He was feeling something now.

“Why doesn’t the cat like me?” Lucius nearly whispered.

“It’s not that the cat doesn’t like you,” Father Aldric said gently, kneeling beside him. “I think it was curious, but it got scared. Cats don’t like things they can’t understand.”

After a moment where Lucius was sadly watching at the direction the cat darted off to, Lucius asked one more question that his kid’s mind just thought about.

“Why does it hurt to feel?” nearly whispered the 6 years-old

“Well, sometimes you feel all you have is pain,” started to answer the priest. “And you’ll want to do anything to make it stop,” Father Aldric said, his voice steady but quieter now, like he was speaking to more than just Lucius. “But pain... pain means something mattered. You need to feel those moments where you're not happy. Because if you didn’t... how would you ever know when something truly does make you happy?”

Chapter Text

“So Lucius,” started Father Aldric with a little too much seriousness for the little boy’s liking. “I think we’re going to have to speak about magic.”

Lucius looked at the priest, his small fingers tightening in his lap. Was Father Aldric mad? Lucius really hoped he was not mad. He didn’t want Father Aldric to be mad at him. But the look the adult was giving him made Lucius feel sad, and sure he wasn’t going to like this conversation. Was the priest going to say he couldn’t come anymore? That he didn’t want him around after this?

“I… I just,” started the little boy, trying to find a way to excuse himself for using magic.

“Lucius, it’s okay,” said Father Aldric, a hand on the little boy’s shoulder. “You don’t choose when you get magic. You don’t need to apologize for it. But we still need to talk about it, okay?”

Lucius stayed quiet. Father Aldric had to be mad, right? He did something kids were not allowed to. Why was Father Aldric pretending he wasn’t?

“Do you not trust me?” asked Father Aldric, which sounded… Sad. Why did the priest sound sad and not mad? Lucius didn’t know what to say. Somehow, making Father Aldric sad felt worse than if he’d just gotten mad. “I promise you it will be okay, it’s just a really important and serious conversation to have.”

If the conversation made Father Aldric sad, Lucius wasn’t sure he wanted to have it. But if an adult said they should speak about something… Then he should just agree, shouldn’t he? That’s what the Sisters would have said. Or maybe his parents, even if he never really got any serious conversations he could remember with them. Actually, nearly all he could remember for them was that they loved him a lot and that he loved them. Lucius didn’t really have a lot of clear memories of his parents.

“If it makes you feel better, I will not speak about it with you until… Well, unless you do magic again?”

“I… I like talking with you,” said Lucius, his voice unsure. He didn’t want to talk about magic, not really. But he also didn’t want to say no. What if that made Father Aldric not want to see him anymore? 

“Does it mean you want to speak about it now and not later?” asked the priest with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes?” answered the little boy, uncertain as he didn’t really want to speak about it. Not when Father Aldric was sad about it instead of being mad.

Then Father Aldric pulled him close, like he’d suddenly decided a hug was more important than talking. But hadn’t he said they were going to talk? Lucius didn’t mind, he liked being in the priest’s arms. It felt warm. Safe. But… Why now? 

The priest started to walk to a colder part of the garden, the kid still in his arms, before putting Lucius down, facing a plant. The first thing Lucius noticed about the plant was that, unlike the others, it had no flowers. It almost looked like dry grass. Lucius blinked up at the plant, unsure what he was supposed to see. It didn’t even look alive. Why was Father Aldric showing him a plant?

“So, first of all,” said Father Aldric, crouching beside him again. He tried to sound gentle, but the seriousness still slipped through. “We need to figure out what kind of magic you have. Can you tell me exactly what it felt like? And what you were thinking, what you wanted to happen?”

“There was a monster under the bed,” started Lucius after a moment of silence. “And I really wanted it to go away. And…”   started to say the little kid before shutting up. 

“And?” tried to encourage Father Aldric.

“You’re going to get mad at me,” said Lucius weakly. The priest could not not get mad if he told him, did he?

“Lucius. I would never be mad at you. I promise” said Father Aldric with a really soft tone.

And so Lucius began to speak, saying how it wasn’t really the first time he called magic, watching Father Aldric for any signs the priest would get mad at him.  Because he couldn’t not get mad at some point, right? 

Even if the priest still seemed calm, even if a little bit sad, he said the magic felt happy to exist. Warm. How it helped him fall asleep when all he did was missing his parents at night. And then Lucius spoke about how they were a monster under his bed, in that new room the Sisters just gave him. And how… How he just tried to cast a spell to chase the monster away and the magic never felt happier. That it just… Felt good, and after his parents being dead wasn’t hurting, and he could just sleep easier.

“Magic felt happy?” asked Father Aldric while taking a deep breath. Was Father Aldric starting to get mad?

“And it tickled when I cast a spell,” added the little boy. “And the monster under the bed went away!”

“Magic can’t… Lucius, I don’t think there was really a monster under the bed. Healing magic can feel that way, but it doesn’t chase things away”

“But the monster did go away!”

“Lucius, it’s just sometimes, …” started Father Aldric, seemingly thinking about what to say. Why did a grown-up have to think about what to say? “Sometimes you are really scared, or don’t feel that good and you don’t know why. So your head makes up a reason for it. It’s not a bad thing.”

“But…”

“Lucius, I believe you, my boy. It’s just… It’s healing magic.”

Lucius watched Father Aldric, uncertain. The Sisters would probably have already told him he shouldn’t have used magic. Or scream at him for trying to object. Father Aldric didn’t. But Lucius wasn’t sure what to think about that discussion. Nor did he know where it was going.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence that made Lucius scared he had said something that would have made Father Aldric angry at him on top of making him sad. The priest and the little boy were watching each other, avoiding looking at each other's faces.

“Lucius, I know it makes you feel really good to call magic. But can you promise me you will not do it until you’re old enough to be educated at it?” asked the priest, nearly hesitant.

“Why?”

“So, you see the plants here? The one that nearly dried out and without flowers?”

Lucius did see the plant so he nodded. Why was Father Aldric speaking about a plant instead of magic?

“Well, when people are in pain, that they physically hurt so much they can’t sleep or think anymore, we give them something based on that plant,” started the priest, hesitant, like it was not something he wanted to speak about with a kid. “But when you take too much of it, or for too long… At some point your body can’t work without it anymore, and it is really hard to learn to live without it.”

Why did Father Aldric tell him that? It’s not like he wanted to eat that plant. And anyway, didn’t the priest want to speak about magic with him?

“And sometimes, sometimes magic, especially healing magic, does the same thing. “It can feel so good, you start needing it to feel okay at all. And that’s not safe, not for your soul,” added Father Aldric before looking into Lucius’s eyes, way too serious. “That’s why I want you to not use magic, okay? So your soul can work without it?”

Lucius didn’t really understand what Father Aldric was trying to explain to him, but maybe the adult was just worried. Which was weird, even the Sisters that had to care for him weren’t that much worried usually.

“I’ll try,” answered Lucius without really promising anything.

Chapter Text

Lucius woke up. Today was the start of the Andrifia’s Festiva. Lucius could only be excited about it. Father Aldric had promised to spend all of today with him, telling the little kid he’d have the time the whole day for once. 

And the boy was nervous, too. Was it time to ask questions all day? Were they just going to spend time together? He liked spending time with the priest. Father Aldric never spoke to him like he was a burden. At night, he gave Lucius little things to do before sleep, like whispering stories about his day in as much detail as possible. Even if Lucius had to make some parts up. It helped him fall asleep faster.

But first, they were the one part of the festival he did not like. Well, not this year, at least. He had loved it last year, even if the end of it made him sad. And a lot of adults actually did not like that part either, but it was a tradition. A tradition that means every kid at the orphanage had to wear a grey tunic, with little white flames embroidered at the bottom.

Most of the kids but Lucius walked with excitement towards the mess hall. Which, if Lucius did not have Father Aldric, he would have done, too. But he had Father Aldric, who said he’d have the whole day for Lucius and the little boy didn’t even have the morning to spend with the priest yet.

Like last year, before breakfast began, the Sisters told the story of the five people that followed Andrifia when the goddess decided she should at least walk a little bit with mortal beings. 5 little kids she raised as her own, and then decided that, once every year, she’ll give the world a special flame that would take a golden color if she judged that someone should raise the kid holding a piece of it.

After breakfast, the Sisters gave each little kid a lantern with a piece of the flame in it. Lucius hoped his would stay orange. He did not really want anyone to adopt him, he just wanted to spend time with Father Aldric. 

They were all asked to remain in the dining hall, even after their plates had been cleared away. That was unusual. So were the adults who came in, people who normally wouldn’t have been allowed inside. The orphanage only let people adopt if they were nobles, or at least very wealthy. Today, they couldn’t refuse anyone. Today, it was the gods who decided whether an adoption would happen.

Lucius' eyes jumped from adults to adults nervously, and then he stopped. Father Aldric was there. That didn't make sense. The priest couldn’t adopt anyone. Everyone knew anyone in the Orders was not allowed to have a family. And last year there weren’t any priests, so it was weird. Would Father Aldric be disappointed if Lucius’ lantern stayed orange? Well, that was probably still better than being taken away from the priest.

Maybe the Sisters had just asked for a priest to be present here, so someone could later pray to the gods to tell them the adoption they approved of was a bad idea? But how would gods make those mistakes? But it wouldn’t make sense either, because the Sisters were telling Father Aldric to go away, that his presence wasn’t needed. And Father Aldric answered he promised Lucius he’d spend the day with him. Which was still a weird reason to be there. And one the Sisters didn’t like, but they couldn’t forbid anyone to be there that morning. Just… Strongly discourage who they didn’t want around.

Lucius wasn’t really paying attention to the adults coming near him, and he barely looked at his flame at all. He just kept watching Father Aldric, who seemed to grow more nervous every time someone stepped forward to speak with Lucius.

And there were… a lot of people stepping forward. Too many, maybe. The Sisters would probably explain it like they did last year. That Lucius was one of the youngest orphans, and that a lot of people had seen him at the temple. So of course a lot of people would want to adopt him. At least his flame did not change color. Except when the noble came back, and it nearly went out, so he got thrown out. Apparently, that meant the gods did not trust the noble around kids.

Lucius did not like the noble either. Father Aldric also did not look surprised when the flame nearly went out. The priest did not even wait until the morning ended, either, before going near the boy.

“So, Lucius,” started the priest. “Ready for today?”

Already? There were still people waiting to walk around the room, still kids who hadn’t had anyone come close to their lanterns yet. Lucius wasn’t even sure if people were going to walk up to him or someone else next.. But yes, he was ready for today.

The priest gently took Lucius’s lantern in both hands. Maybe Lucius was still dreaming for a really short time, because he thought he saw the flame turn gold. But Father Aldric was a priest. Priests couldn’t adopt. Even if this one was smiling more than Lucius had ever seen before.

Father Aldric took the little kid in his arms, holding him like a parent would for a really young kid. That made Lucius sad, because he suddenly thought back about his dad, that was not here anymore.

“I have a surprise for you, my boy,” whispered the priest. He never called Lucius ‘my boy’ before, except when he talked to him about magic, and it made the 6 years old feel all bubbly inside.

And the priest did not wait for anyone's permission to get out of the orphanage, Lucius in his arm, ignoring everyone else’s gazes. Lucius did not, but the adults looked shocked more than mad at Father Aldric. He was taking one of the orphans out before the end of the morning, shouldn’t they be mad instead?

Father Aldric held Lucius a long time. Maybe half an hour? Walking towards some place of the city Lucius did not know about, before stopping at what seemed like a stable. Curious, the boy briefly looked at the horses… Before burying his face against the priest’s robe in fear. The horses were big and scary. 

“Oh,” just said Father Aldric, sounding nearly disappointed, while getting deeper into the stable. “Lucius, can you just look for a second? Please”

Lucius did not want to look, especially not if he was one of the big horses. But he did, because Father Aldric asked him to, and… Well, they were a really big, scary grey horse with nearly unnoticeable darker spots. But it wasn’t alone in the stable. The other one was small. Its legs were so long they looked a little silly, and its tail was short and stubby. Its coat was blacker than night, and it had a tiny white patch on its forehead, shaped like a little moon.

“The foal there is your, Lucius. Once you’re both older you’ll learn together,” said the priest, like it was the best gift he could give someone. 

Lucius was pretty sure every other kid at the orphanage would be jealous if he told them the priest offered him a horse, because horses generally only belonged to really important people. Not to orphans like Lucius.

“He doesn’t have a name yet. I wanted to let you choose it,” added the priest.

“Lucius offered, blurting the first name-ish thing that popped into his head.

Father Aldric smiled. “Then Moony it is.”

Lucius barely had time to let that settle before the priest walked over to a hay bale and reached behind it, carefully lifting a nearly grown cat from its hiding spot. The cat looked calm, but clearly unamused at having its nap interrupted.

“And that little girl here is for you too, she loves to spend her night curled up on people. Her name’s Chance, I thought she might help you sleep better at night,” explained the priest.

Lucius was not sure the Sisters would agree for a kid to bring back a pet at the orphanage but… Chance was given to him by a priest and the Sisters did complain a lot about mice. So they could not really said no to a cat, right?

Especially not when Chance was so pretty. White and grey, with darker markings on her grey and two, smart brown eyes. And maybe Chance would let Lucius pet her, contrary to the cat from the temple. Well, she was his cat so she should, shouldn’t she?

Chapter Text

Lucius, holding Father Aldric’s hand like his life depended on it, looked at all the people walking around. Where were they all going, or supposed to be, when the festival wasn’t even happening?

Father Aldric had insisted that Chance stay at the stable until they returned to the orphanage. Lucius did not like the fact they’d have to go back there as he would have to see the horses again.  But the priest had also explained that, as nice as the grey cat was, she probably wouldn’t like a place with so many people.

And oh gods, there were so many interesting things to see. So much food Lucius would have loved to eat, just from the smell of it! Not that he’d ask Father Aldric. He didn’t want to bother the priest, not after he had already given him such a big gift with Chance and Moony.

At some point, they walked near a stand. It was just a man, draped in black and bones. Lucius, barely six years old, wondered why the smell of iron, rotten meat, and other stinky things didn’t seem to bother anyone else. Naturally, Lucius did what any kid might have done: he hid behind Father Aldric and clamped a hand over his nose to block out the stink.

Which was the first reaction Lucius gave since they started walking in the festival. Which itself caused Father Aldric to raise an eyebrow and Lucius to try and justify himself by seeing the weird man smelled bad. And… Father Aldric looked so confused while the man draped in black just smiled in a way that made Lucius uncomfortable.

“Well, necromancy tends to stink, yeah,” said the man, in the same tone the reading tutor used when trying to be patient. “Magic’s smell stays between us, okay?” he added, blinking at Lucius with strange familiarity. Then he took a long, deliberate breath, and a flicker of his smile faded.

“Especially since you’re not smelling that much better, you know.”

“Lucius does not…” started Father Aldric. Lucius could only think about how defensive the priest’s tone sounded, which was weird. He did not see him take that tone when people told other orphans they stinked.

“Please, old man,” cutted the man. It was also the first time Lucius ever heard someone cut a priest that was talking. At least with a weird intonation he never heard before. “Nice to know that kid as someone watching his back, though.”

What was the man speaking about? Lucius glanced at Father Aldric’s face, who held an expression Lucius could not make sense of. The priest was utterly lost. Like he did not understand what was happening more than Lucius. Since when were there things Father Aldric did not know about?

And the man in black and bones should have recognized the confusion on the kid’s and the priest’s face, as he just sighed before removing the scary stuff he was wearing to reveal totally normal clothes under it.

“So, do the parents actually hire a magic teacher for the kid or…” the self-declared necromancer started.

“Lucius’s an orphan,” was what the priest cutted the man with, sharp and cold.

It was then the turn of the man to seem surprised. Lucius was pretty sure he heard the necromancer start mumbling something about how important nobles' kids were the one accompanied by priests during the festival, usually. 

“I can walk my kid to the festival if I wish to,” Father Aldric said.

“You’re a priest. You can’t…”

“The gods agreed. I don’t care if I can’t.”

Lucius could only stare at the two men, locked in a silence that felt too big for the street they stood on. He didn’t understand what they were talking about or why Father Aldric had said he was his kid. Because he couldn’t be a priest’s kid. That wasn’t allowed. Everyone knew that.

And then, as watching each other in the eyes was some kind of competition, the necromancer sighed.

“Does the kid have any magic tutor? Because you can’t really let someone that already casted a spell without a…”

“Why do you think he casted a spell?” asked Father Aldric to the man. And Lucius agreed with the question. How could anyone know that?

“Magic has a smell,” was what the necromancer answered, like it was enough as an explanation by itself. “Especially when you already used it”

“Father Aldric said it was healing magic,” said Lucius, suddenly deciding he should participate in the conversation. He did not want grown-ups to speak like he wasn’t there again.

Which… Caused both of said grown-ups to look at him and just, looked at each other again. Which was so much better than last time. He did not understand why adults like to speak like he was not here, but at least they were not ignoring him when he spoke this time.

Somehow, when the discussions ended, Lucius got the name of the necromancer and a teacher for everything that had to do with magic. The little boy was sure he had heard that, usually, the teacher had to have the same kind of magic as the student. He heard the argument during the discussion. But, apparently, it was not rare for a necromancer to teach a healer. Or the other way around. The man had explained it with the fact necromancy and healing magic were really, really close together on the magical spectrum.

Lucius had not understood anything of the explanation.

They were walking in a place of the city Lucius never knew about. There were a lot of big, colored buildings where the tips of some of the stuff were covered in gold. In hand, the boy had what the priest had called a waffle, which smelled like honey.

It smelled good, and Father Aldric had offered it to Lucius after the boy’s stomach made itself known again that day while the kid eyed the food stand. But they were also the delicate crown of stars, Andrifia’s symbol on it, and Lucius was not sure the goddess would agree with him eating something with her symbol on it.

“Isn’t Andrifia going to get mad if I eat it?” whispered Lucius to Father Aldric, fearing even asking the question might make the goddess mad. The priest assured in a really, really fast way that she would probably want him to eat it. 

Father Aldric was leading Lucius towards what was probably the biggest house the boy had ever seen. Did the noble have their own temple? Maybe he should ask the priest… Who only sighed and said that no and that his family had just too much money to know what to do with it, and not enough sense to not do something better with it like they should. Did having too much money mean living in a way too big house? 

The priest did not even ask before entering the house so big it could have been a temple. And it was slightly oppressive, too. Lucius did not like that place. Multiple times, they stopped, the priest presenting Lucius as his son, again and again. Once more, Lucius could only think about how priests could not have kids and asked himself if Father Aldric hurt his head. The Sisters sometimes asked him that when he said weird stuff that did not always make sense.

But no one told Father Aldric asked that to the priest, and Lucius would be more than happy to pretend for at least a day he was Father Aldric’s kid. He did hurt him a little bit, knowing it would never be true.

At some point, they ended up in front of a woman, with the most complicated pieces of clothing Lucius had ever seen. He was pretty sure he saw jewelry sewed in and, all he could think about because he heard the Sisters complain a lot about washing clothes, was how impossible it would have been to clean something like that. 

“Mother,” started the priest, which weirded Lucius out. Once, because Lucius looked old enough to be everyone’s dad. Secondly, because who called their mom mother instead of mom? “Here is Lucius, the kid I talked to you about when you visited me yesterday.”

And the woman glanced at Lucius, giving him a look that could only be interpreted as… Hatred? Why would Father Aldric’s mom hate him?

Chapter Text

They were sitting at a table. A really, really long table. Too big for the seven people there, not counting Lucius, and no one was sitting in the overly decorated chairs at the far end. The chairs looked important, like they were waiting for someone very specific to sit in them. More than the occasional piece of bread used as a spoon or plate back at the orphanage.

And everyone was looking at him like they hated him. Except maybe Father Aldric, who Lucius really wished would stop talking, because all he was doing was praising the boy. Lucius was starting to worry that the priest was trying to get him adopted. He did not want that. Especially not by nobles, if they were all as strange as this and using too much of everything, for everything.

And apparently there were really, really weird rules, too, because everyone gave him that same look other orphans did if he accidentally took their spot on the bed before the Sisters gave him his own bedroom. Only this time, it was for grabbing the wrong spoon.

Which led to Father Aldric saying that Lucius was just six and then started whispering what cutlery to use when to the boy. Why did nobles have rules that made no sense concerning food? That was even one more reason to NOT want him to get adopted. Especially not by nobles. And Lucius specifically did not understand why he had to pay attention to it, or why Father Aldric brought him here.

But it was still time with the priest and, even if he’d have rather spent it in any other ways… Well, he is not going to complain about it. He wanted to, especially when the adults only spoke about stuff Lucius did not understand, but maybe he could just ignore it.

At some point though, the subject of the discussion changed. Something Lucius had a little more understanding about, at least. And only because he knew what a foal was.

“So, Aldric, I heard your mare had a foal recently?” started a man sitting just next to the priest’s mom.

“But she’s still a patient mare. I hope she passes that down to her son,” answered Father Aldric.

Even if Lucius did understand what they talked about now, it was still boring. So, so much boring. Why did the priest have to bring him here?

“Moony will do a fine mount for Lucius, once both are old enough, ” continued Father Aldric casually. Lucius was sure he heard someone choke. And felt a lot of angry eyes on him. 

He didn’t even ask for a horse. Horses were big. And scary. Why would he ask? Besides, the nobles probably had dozens of horses. This one even belonged to Father Aldric. So why did they all look so upset that he might ride it someday?

“Dear Aldric,” said the priest’s mother, her voice sending a shiver down Lucius’s spine. “What will happen if that foal ends up grey?”

What a weird thing to ask, as Moony was one of the blackest horses Lucius ever saw. Not that he saw a lot of horses before today. His mother was grey, sure, but Moony wasn’t. It was odd how little he looked like her at all.

“Then people start speaking. And?” Father Aldric did not look like he cared about what people spoke about. Actually, after a glance at the priest and his tired look, Lucius could only ask himself if maybe Father Aldric was too tired to care.

“And the implication of it?” asked Alrdic’s mom and the man that talked earlier at the exact same time.

“Well, public institutions are lacking finances, and…” started the priest, which means the talk was back on boring stuff Lucius did not understand. Or what Moony had to do with anything.

Lucius was standing straight in front of Sister Eliza, the oldest sister at the orphanage, Chance in his arms. It was going to be some seconds, now, that the boy and the elderly woman had probably started what could only be described as a gazing contest.

At some point though, Lucius probably won the competition he didn’t even realize was happening and the Sister sighed.

“Lucius,” she started, “what is that?”

“What is what?” asked the little kid innocently . Okay, maybe Lucius knew what she was talking about. But he didn’t understand why she’d question him bringing a cat in. That would have been dumb.

“In your arms”

“Father Aldric gave her to me,” said Lucius like it explained everything. And, for the six years old, it did.

“Father Aldric does not live here”

“But Chance is a gift…” started Lucius, trying to go past the Sister, in vain.

“Lucius. No one can bring pets in.” said the Sister, in the tired tone of someone that had to say it for years.

“But she’s a cat?” tentatively started the orphan, looking at the old woman with two big, sad eyes.

“And?” asked Sister Eliza, unapologetic.

Lucius had been so sure Chance being a cat would make everything okay, she could hunt the mouse. She wouldn’t even be the first cat in the building, just the one he would have been allowed to get close to, as she was his cat. Maybe he should just think of another way to convince the Sister?

“But I’m all alone in a room at night!” he tried next, hoping it would work.

“You stay right here. If you try sneaking out with that cat, you’ll regret it,” warned Sister Eliza.

Lucius could do that, maybe he had somewhat convinced her to let him keep the cat. After long, interminable minutes, where Chance might have clawed Lucius because she was tired of being held, the old woman came back, looking ever more tired than before.

“You are a really, really lucky one.” started Sister Eliza. “That cat of yours can stay. If it does not go out of your room. We are not helping you feed it.”

At that, Lucius beamed. He had absolutely no idea how to care for a cat, but Chance was allowed to stay! She was even going to sleep with him, since she was allowed in his bedroom! And the Sisters would not help him, but maybe he could find an older boy that knew how to take care of a cat.

But just a bowl of milk should be fine, right? It was what the orphanage’s mouse cats had every day. But first, before Sister Eliza changed her mind… Lucius ran towards his room, Chance claws slightly piercing his skin in fear. He didn’t like the fact the cat was hurting him, but she was still his and Sister Eliza said yes! And when the old woman said yes, the others didn’t argue.

One in his room, Lucius dropped the cat on the bed gently. Or, at least, as gently as a six years old could. Which the cat immediately took as an occasion to go hiding under the bed. Did Lucius do something bad? Why was Chance hiding? He didn’t want Chance to hide.

Maybe he should ask a Sister why a cat might hide somewhere? Would they even agree to answer him? Would they have a rule about no asking questions about cats on top of not being able to ask them to help feed her?

He hoped not. But he should probably find another, older boy, to help him. The problem was… He never really spoke to the other boys, except maybe the times he said to Little Tom, 4 years old and ex-bedmate, to stop snoring because it was annoying.

He really did not want to do that. He would rather ask Father Aldric, because the old priest was way easier to speak with, but he was scared the priest would be disappointed if Lucius didn’t know how to care for a cat.

Tomorrow, after one bad night of sleep like usual, he’d ask. If he found the courage to do it during the night somehow.

Chapter Text

It was going to be 2 months since that weird meal at some nobles' house, and Lucius’s life hadn’t changed that much if one ignored the fact Father Aldric now found the time to visit the orphanage at least once a week.

Or that they had more than old bread for breakfast now, or had lunch that didn’t end with them still hungry, or that a part of the Sisters had said a whole part of the building no one was allowed in before was going to be not-so-forbidden anymore.

But, more than all of that, in three days, it would be Lucius’s birthday. And 7 years old, in the head of the little boy, was the equivalent of being a grown up. Of course he was excited about it. But Sunday was approaching, and the priest hadn’t come this week yet. 

Lucius might have thought maybe Father Aldric was simply preparing him a surprise. But he already gave him two for the Andrifia’s Festival, and the priest did still have time for him, even when Lucius gave excuses to not go see Moony like . 

It had been two months since Lucius did not go to the temple without permission. But maybe, maybe he should. And he also had questions to ask! 

Only last week, one of the Sisters had given him one weird pendant, where five doves were flying in a circle around a four-branches star. All they had said was that it was a religious symbol his dad was wearing on his sick bed, and that his coming birthday was going to be a big moment where he’d need to wear it.

And whenever he asked the Sisters, they always said they never knew which god it represented. But there was nothing Father Aldric didn’t know. Lucius just… Had to wait for the necromancer to come this morning, do those weird lessons when he tried to get him to give the name of bones or other strange things like that. Lucius hated how he had to learn anatomy instead of magic, especially when he was never able to pronounce the words well. 

But at least the necromancer had promised him he’ll do magic. Just… Once he’ll be all grown up. Which means in three days! Surely, the little boy would not be told he had to grow up more then.

Maybe he should sneak out before the lesson instead of after it. That way, he wouldn’t have to sit through it at all. But Father Aldric was the one who’d asked the necromancer to teach him, even if the man’s magic stank like iron and rot. But maybe he would be a disappointment to the priest if he got out first. At least Chance always helped make it better by jumping into his lap or batting at bones and making it harder for the necromancer to teach and more interesting for himself.

The lesson finally ended. Which meant Lucius finally had some time for himself. Of course he would sneak out to the temple. He hoped Father Aldric was not sick. Oh, gods, what if he was? Would the priest leave him, like his parents did? The nearly seven years old hoped not. But it would explain why he didn’t have time for him.

The little boy shook his head. Father Aldric had to be fine. Maybe he just forgot to come this week. Sometimes, sometimes, when Lucius woke up, it felt like it was still the same day as the previous one. Maybe it was like that for Father Aldric, too. Or maybe the temple was busy. But the priest, since not that long ago, always promised the boy that he’ll always have time for him. 

Obviously, as he was not staying in the orphanage, he did not try to stop Chance and she started following him. The Sisters just needed to not see the black cat once he was heading back, so he could pretend she was always in her room.

He ran through the narrow, paved streets, ignoring everything that would distract him usually, until he arrived at the temple. For the first time ever, the doors were closed. Which was weird, as the temple was never ever supposed to close its door. Even when everyone was sleeping, they were wide open. But it would not stop him. Father Aldric had shown him all the other entrances, the ones the little boy should not know about, so he could avoid the crowd when they were a lot of people coming in.

And so he went to one of them, which was… Well, Lucius had no idea what that room was called, but it was full of grain and bags. It was also really interesting for Chance. Enough for her to start ignoring him, at least, which made the little boy a little bit sad.

As surprising as the temple being closed, there were no sounds coming from it, either, and the grain room was just next to the kitchen that always made noises. Maybe the people living here were sick. No, no, no. They could not be sick. Because otherwise, that means Father Aldric was too, and he did now want Father Aldric to be sick and disappear and not be there to answer his question.

The small orphan didn't want the priest to disappear like his parents did.

Panicking, holding back tears because the older boys at the orphanage always said big boys never cried and he was still nearly a grown up, Lucius bolted into the main corridor. Which… Well, they were priests walking in it, but none of them were Father Aldric. And they all had an expression Lucius could not identify but did not like. Not at all.

The little boy arrived at the prayer room. Father Aldric was not there. Lucius knew every place the priest could be found. He had run here so often, just to find Father Aldric and ask him questions, it would be weird if he didn’t.

But Father Aldric was nowhere to be found, and Lucius was starting to despair. He would have cuddled Chance if she was still next to him, like she seemed to always know how to do at night, when he missed his parents and could not sleep and was ready to use magic to just not feel anymore.

But instead, still biting down tears despite obviously wet eyes, Lucius got close to one of the other priests, who was a little bit intimidating with how many wrinkles he had.

“Mister,” started Lucius in the smallest, most intimidated voice he ever had, “Where is Father Aldric?”

The old priest looked at the little boy, before stopping at the new pendant he was wearing and… Just turning away. That was weird, the priests had never refused to tell him where Father Aldric was before. Or even not just decided to not answer him at all. The temple was really, really weird today.

And the weird experience continued, even if the priests that actually saw him often talk to Father Aldric were telling him Father Aldric could not see him right now, with a serious tone of voices that made Lucius think of his parents and made him really, really sad. Father Aldric was sick, wasn’t he? But he could not! The priest could not be sick, Lucius needed him. Father Aldric was the best priest ever, why would he be sick? Why would Father Aldric leave him too?

Lucius sat down and started crying. No, NO! He did not want to not see Father Aldric. He needed the priest, why was it happening? Was it because he was scared of horses and always tried to find excuses to not go see Moony, because all the grown horses were terrorizing? 

Did the gods hate him? Why? Why was everyone he loved falling sick?

The priest that just had answered Lucius, just looked at the little boy that was nearly seven and…

“Of, by the love of the gods, can’t you go freaking cry somewhere else? We don’t have time to deal with a toddler’s tantrum.”