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“ You’re my boyfriend ,” the most handsome man Buck has ever seen in his entire life declares, eyes wide and panicky. Buck’s frozen where he’s pouring himself another ladle of punch, a full ladle hovering above his wine glass.
He looks over his shoulder. There’s no one else at the abandoned cocktail hour charcuterie table, everyone else is dancing outside. “What?”
“Boyfriend,” the man repeats, eyes pleading. “Mine. Dating. Us.”
Buck blinks. A flustered woman appears in the entry, locks eyes on the man, and starts power-walking towards them.
“Eddie!” She whisper-yells. “Did you just fucking run away from me? I saw you see me.”
The man — Eddie — closes his eyes, takes a breath, and turns towards the woman.
“Hmm? What?” He hums, scratching at the back of his neck. “Is everything okay?”
The woman frowns at him. They look kind of similar — siblings, maybe? They have the same eyes.
“They need you for the rehearsal thing,” she says, brows raised expectantly. “And I need to know about your plus one. We needed final numbers yesterday .”
“I told you my partner was coming,” Eddie says, shifting awkwardly. He turns and gestures towards Buck. “Here he is.”
Oh shit. It’s happening. It’s happening. The Universal Rom-Com Allocation System has finally found him and deemed him worthy. He almost drops his wine glass into the punch bowl in excitement, but he doesn’t. In fact he’s so normal and natural that he unfreezes and finishes ladling the punch into his cup, the sound of it the only thing breaking the shocked silence. He waves.
He’s going to be the best Fake Boyfriend this beautiful man has ever seen.
“Oh,” she says. She looks between them, surprised. Assessing. Buck gets it, he’s surprised too. If the look on his face is anything to go by, so is Eddie, for some reason.
The woman blinks a few times and seems to pull herself out of her stupor. She clears her throat pointedly at the man. “Eddie, were you raised in a barn?” She grunts under her breath.
Eddie opens his mouth, then shuts it. Panicked eyes find Buck’s. “Um - -”
Right. He doesn’t actually know his name. Because they don’t know each other. They’re strangers, hand-picked by fate and cast in the roles of Fake Boyfriend #1 and Fake Boyfriend #2 and Buck is about to deliver an Oscar-winning performance.
“Buck,” he offers smoothly, extending a hand and a smile to the woman. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
She smiles, and it’s a nice smile. A kind smile. She elbows Eddie in the ribs.
“Sorry. Right,” he coughs, blinking excessively. “Buck, this is my cousin, Marissa. Marissa, Buck.”
Marissa rolls her eyes at the introduction, but squeezes Buck’s hand in her own. “It’s lovely to meet you as well, Buck. I have heard absolutely nothing about you and would like to remedy that ASAP,” she declares. “Eddie, go find Sophia before she explodes you with her mind. I’ll look after your guy,” she promises with a terrifying wink.
“Uh,” Eddie grunts, wild eyes finding Buck’s.
It’s showtime, baby.
“It’s okay, babe,” he chuckles. Eddie’s eyes widen. Buck winks. “You go. I’ll see you later.”
“Right,” Eddie blinks. “Okay. Bye…honey,” he offers, stilted.
His performance won’t earn him any Oscar noms, but Buck shoots him a supportive smile anyway.
Let the record show he is a supportive fake boyfriend.
The woman, Marissa, turns to Buck with a terrifying glint in her eye. “Buck,” she grins. “Do you like wine?”
Buck goes to a lot of weddings. It’s one of those things that comes with moving around a lot and meeting new people — making close, fast friendships that end in a catch up when you’re in the same timezone and an invite to their wedding.
Last month it’d been a childhood friend from Hershey, the month before that it was a woman he met three weeks earlier in Peru, and the month before that it was a guy he met during training for the SEALs. This month it was Justin, a ranch hand from his time in Texas — nice guy, taught him how to ride a horse — and his lovely new bride Annabelle, who Buck has never met, but who looked beautiful as she walked down the aisle.
Justin cried, and their vows were beautiful, and they’d been the latest in a long line-up of giggling, rosy-cheeked couples who’d found their person, and loved their person, and got to keep them forever while Buck watched on being very, very happy for them and all their lovely, lovely love. Really. He was so happy. And he wasn’t - - no , he wasn’t jealous , okay, that’s not really the right word. He’s just…longing. Yearning. Feeling a bit bitter about his fifth breakup in two years while surrounded by people who are as happy and in love as they’ll ever be and that feels kind of valid, actually. He thinks maybe he’s allowed to be a little bit bitter.
That’s what he’d been doing — being bitter and refilling his punch — when the universe finally shone down upon him with a beautiful man and a delicious, if not overdone, trope right out of a romcom.
And now here he is, smack-bang in the middle of a stranger’s rehearsal dinner, a little bit tipsy but entirely committed to his role as Eddie’s Boyfriend — Wooer of Diazes and Expert-Level Dodger of Facts.
Let it be known it is not an easy feat. The Diaz family is as kind and welcoming as they are nosy — he’d been swarmed by aunts and cousins and other assorted strangers the second Marissa had dropped him off with a glass of wine and the words “everyone, this is Buck, Eddie’s boyfriend.”
The good thing about Buck being tipsy is that everyone else is tipsy too, so he’s pretty sure no one’s going to remember anything he says in the morning. Still, he’s doing his best to dodge concrete answers and keep track of the romcom-esque backstory he’s writing on the fly.
How’d they meet? Eddie tells the story better, you have to hear it from him. How long have they been together? Gosh, it feels like it’s been years, he’s just the best, it’s like they knew each other in another life, best partner he’s ever had.
One of Eddie’s…second cousins? Maybe? He thinks? Is asking him about someone named Christopher when a warm hand lands on his arm. He blinks up and breaks into a grin.
“Hey, baby,” he breathes. Eddie is somehow even more pretty when he’s tipsy.
“Hi,” Eddie chuckles, squeezing where his hand sits on his shoulder. “Can I steal him for a minute?” he asks the maybe second cousin, and then he’s pulling him towards a quiet corner of the room.
When the dizziness of the sudden movement fades enough for his vision to focus, he finds Eddie looking at him guiltily.
“I’m so sorry, man,” he whispers. “Fuck. You really don’t have to be here. I didn’t mean to trap you for hours.”
“I don’t mind,” Buck grins. He’s even prettier up close. “Everyone’s been very nice.”
“Who is everyone ?” Eddie asks, anxiously scanning the crowd behind them.
“Your abuela, your aunts, your cousins, some guy who said you used to do ballroom dancing together, which I’d like to hear more about.”
Eddie takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He nods. “And they all think - -?” He asks, pointing between the two of them.
“I upgraded you to my Premium Boyfriend Package,” Buck confirms. “It includes charming the pants off your entire family and a backstory so fleshed-out that I’ve been considering a career change to screenwriting.”
“Buck,” Eddie breathes. “Thank you.”
“Eh,” he shrugs. “No biggie man.”
“You just came out to my entire family for me,” he admits. “That’s more than a biggie.”
Oh, fuck .
Buck’s heart drops out of his chest. “I was supposed to do that, right?”
He’d suspected, based on some of the lines of questioning, that at the very least this might have been a recent revelation. He didn’t know he was the revelation.
“It’s very appreciated, yes,” Eddie chuckles.
“Okay. Fuck. I thought I’d just gone on an outing spree of unrivalled proportions.”
Eddie shakes his head, a soft, disbelieving smile on his face. “I can’t believe you’re still here. You were at a wedding!” He cringes, rubbing his hands over his face. “I am so sorry. I’m Eddie, by the way,” he says, like Buck hasn’t been learning his life story through miniscule lore drops for the last three hours.
Eddie holds out his hand for a handshake, and Buck catches it quickly, before any prying eyes can see, tangling their fingers together.
“I know,” Buck laughs. “ Edmundo. I’m Buck.”
“Yeah. Buck,” Eddie nods, bewildered. He squeezes his hand in his. He doesn’t let go, so neither does Buck. “Thank you.”
“I mean it, it’s really no big deal. This was more fun than moping around the wedding of some guy I knew for three months, a year ago,” he admits. No offence to Justin.
“Well, I mean it, too,” Eddie smiles. “ Thank you .”
“Eddito,” a woman says. Buck feels Eddie try to pull his hand back. He doesn’t let him, leaning into his side and wrapping an arm around his waist.
It’s Eddie’s abuela — maybe Buck’s favorite person he’s spoken to all night, aside from Eddie. They’d talked about baking and gardening and, mostly, Eddie. She’d even demanded he put his number in her phone, for emergencies.
“Eddito,” she smiles, leaning up to cup Eddie’s face in her hands. “Your Buck is a good boy. You don’t take him for granted, yes?”
“Uh, yes,” Eddie nods, as much as he can within her hold. “Yeah, I’m very lucky.”
“That’s right,” she nods, pulling his head down to kiss his forehead. “You are happy, I am happy.”
She turns to Buck and beckons him closer with a wiggle of her finger. Buck leans down to meet her and she presses a kiss to his cheek. Winks at him. “You make my boy happy,” she says, and he’s not sure if that’s an observation or an order, but he agrees immediately.
“Of course,” he swallows.
“Good,” she nods. “Sleep well,” she instructs, shuffling back towards the hotel lobby.
“Oh god,” Eddie groans as soon as she’s out of earshot. “Oh fuck.”
“What?” Buck frowns. He thought that went well. He thought that was a sweet, beautiful moment of love and acceptance.
“You’ve wooed them!” Eddie groans. “How did you do that? They’ve hated everyone I’ve ever dated!”
Buck doesn’t have time to be utterly thrilled about this news, because Eddie is panicking right in front of him. “I thought that’s what I was supposed to do! You didn’t give me very clear instructions!”
Eddie takes a deep, steadying breath and visibly deflates. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Thank you. Again. You’ve really - - gone above and beyond. I should let you get back to your wedding.”
Buck looks at him like he’s gone mad. Because he clearly has.
“No,” he frowns.
“What?”
“I don’t - - you can’t just kick me out when it’s starting to get good.”
“Excuse me?”
“I played my part — excellently, I might add, and now I’m invested. I need to know if Hayley is gonna lose it on Jessica for trying to swap their makeup timeslots. There’s also some very juicy rumors going around about Raj and Lucy, and I’m pretty sure your aunt is about to confront Linda about the thing that happened at your cousin’s wedding last year.”
Eddie blinks at him.
Buck feels his cheeks heat, like he’s said something wrong. “What?”
Eddie shakes his head, an amused smile creeping onto his face. “Hey. Uh. What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Um. Binging 90 Day Fiance and crying myself to sleep feels like the wrong answer, but I’m blanking on anything else.”
Eddie snorts. “Are you okay?”
“Breakup,” he sighs.
“Ah,” Eddie nods sympathetically. “Sorry.”
Buck shrugs. “He was an asshole.”
Eddie cocks his head at that. “Hm,” he hums, pleased for some reason. “Would you want to be my date?”
It’s happening it’s happening it’s happening.
“To…the wedding?” He clarifies, before he gets too far ahead of himself and starts writing their romcom vows.
“Yeah,” Eddie nods. “You’d be doing me a massive favor. I know I’m kind of putting you in an awkward position, again, but I’d really rather have someone to dance with instead of having to tell everyone you’re MIA because you have terrible food poisoning or something.”
Fuck yeah.
“Okay. Yeah,” Buck agrees. Casual. Blasé. Nonchalant. “Sounds more fun than the crying. Also, I’ll have you know that I take food safety very seriously. Food poisoning fears me.”
Eddie giggles, like he’s trying not to but he can’t help it. “Well, in that case, you really have no choice but to come.”
And Buck can’t argue with that.
Eddie gets whisked away again, some kind of speech emergency, leaving Buck to happily continue his rounds as World’s Most Convincing Fake Boyfriend.
He doesn’t see him again until a few hours later, when Eddie walks through the door of his hotel room to find Buck awkwardly sitting on the edge of his bed.
He can admit, okay, that this isn’t very cutesy romcom of him. It’s actually hella creepy, but Marissa had found him hovering awkwardly in the lobby, waiting for Eddie, and she’d plonked him in his hotel room.
In his defence, they hadn’t exchanged numbers, and he doesn’t even know what time the wedding starts.
Also, just so everyone has all the information, Eddie doesn’t even flinch when he flicks the light on to find him sitting there, and that’s kind of creepy in and of itself. Buck would’ve screeched.
“You’re here,” Eddie blinks. He clicks the door closed behind him, and when he turns back around he’s smiling. He looks exhausted, but he’s smiling. At Buck. Because he’s waiting in his hotel room like a creep. “I thought you’d left.”
“I didn’t get your number,” Buck explains.
Eddie, tired, tired, Eddie, blushes. “You want my number?”
“For the - - I don’t know what time the wedding starts?”
“Oh. Right. Right. Of course,” he blinks. He sinks onto the edge of the bed beside him, pulling off his shoes. “Do you have a room here?”
“Nah, I’ve got my car,” Buck expertly dodges.
Eddie hums. “You live nearby?”
“Not really.”
Eddie raises his brows at him expectantly.
“I, uh. I’m kind of between things at the moment,” Buck admits.
Eddie loosens his tie and asks, “What does that mean?”
“I’m just - - you know. Around,” Buck answers, avoiding eye contact with Eddie and his tie.
“You’re… around? ” Eddie frowns, unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt.
“I’m between jobs,” he clarifies.
“What do you do?”
“Bit of everything.”
Eddie pauses where he’s removing his watch.
“Are you a serial killer?”
“What!?” Buck gapes. “No!”
Eddie narrows his eyes at him. “You’re being very vague and suspicious.”
“I’m not a serial killer,” Buck scoffs. “I’m just trying to figure out my purpose .”
“Okay,” Eddie shrugs, clearly amused. “And where are you doing that?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you live in Texas?”
“Not really.”
“Not really?”
“I just kinda go wherever,” Buck sighs. It’s not sexy to admit you’re technically living in your car. By choice, he might add. “I was bartending in Peru, most recently. I’m from Philly, originally. And I’ve never killed anyone in my life. I was vegan for a year, even. Very - - very anti-murder.”
“Good to know,” Eddie chuckles. “So, you were planning on sleeping in your car?”
“I - - didn’t say that.”
“No, I noticed. You actually said a lot of things to avoid saying that.”
Buck sighs. “I’m not angling for a pity invite to your hotel room.”
“I wasn’t going to give you one,” Eddie shrugs. “This one is completely pitiless and the least I could do after everything you did for me today. Besides, I need to study up on this backstory you’ve been crafting all night.”
And that, actually, is a good point. The more he drank and the later it got, the more details he started to sprinkle in, mostly just to entertain himself.
“Okay, but I’ll just stay until you’re caught up,” he compromises.
“Sure,” Eddie nods, but he’s smiling, and Buck already knows he’s not going to win.
Not even ten minutes later, Eddie, who is sneakier than he appears, had told him to take his outside clothes off before sitting on his bed. Buck, as Eddie was aware, was in current possession of his wedding outfit, his wallet, his phone, and his car keys. To remedy this, Eddie threw a pile of soft clothes towards him and told him to change, hence trapping him, yet again, into taking him up on his offer to sleep over.
Which is how they ended up here, lying shoulder to shoulder on the hotel room bed — Eddie beneath the covers and Buck on top of them, going over the fake details of their fake relationship because Buck is living inside a rom-com.
“Okay, how’d we meet?” Eddie asks.
Buck hums thoughtfully. “What do you do?”
“I was an army medic,” Eddie says. “I’m working some odd jobs while I figure out what’s next.”
“Ohh. Hot,” Buck grins. “We caught each other’s eye across the battlefield. You nursed me back to health.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“You don’t know that I wasn’t in the army too!”
“Yes I do.”
“Fine,” Buck sighs. “I was working at a ranch. We met at a bar. Some woman wouldn’t leave you alone so I pretended to be your boyfriend.”
Eddie snorts. “You don’t think that’s a little on the nose?”
“The key to a good lie is to base it in truth.”
“Okay, fine,” Eddie concedes.
“I told everyone you’re really good at telling that story, by the way, so you should maybe start practicing.”
Eddie lolls his head in his direction just to glare at him.
“How long have we been together?” Buck asks. He’d dodged the shit out of this one.
“What’d you say?” Eddie asks.
“I didn’t. I dodged.”
“Oh thank fuck,” Eddie breathes. “A few months?”
“Ohhh,” Buck grins. Some drama. Some goss. “A recent breakup?”
“A wife.”
Buck chokes on air.
“You’re married?”
Of course he’d be the mistress in the romcom. He doesn’t even get to be one of the good, fully-fledged characters.
“Not really,” Eddie cringes. “Kind of? Technically? She fled the state. I’m gay. There’s lots of paperwork.”
Buck narrows his eyes at him. “What else don’t I know about my own fake boyfriend? You have five secret kids too?”
Eddie winces.
“Oh,” Buck blinks.
“Just one!” Eddie rushes to clarify. “Just one. Christopher. He’s four.”
“I love kids,” Buck smiles. “Have I met him?”
Eddie is quiet for a few beats. Thinking about it, he assumes.
“Uh. No. I don’t think so,” he decides. “He would’ve blabbed about you to everyone if he had. He’d like you.”
“Yeah?” Buck grins.
Eddie nods.
“He has CP. You’d know that. My family brings it up a lot, but it’s not - - he’s so much more than that. He’s my whole world.”
“He sounds amazing,” Buck grins. “I’d have wanted to meet him. I’d probably have been pestering you about it since we met.”
Eddie smiles. “I’d be being cautious. Waiting until I knew we were in it for the long haul. Secretly, I’d want you to meet him too.”
Buck’s stupid, traitorous stomach flips. He clears his throat and pushes the rest of it down, down, down.
“He’s not here?” He asks. He honestly doesn’t think he’s gonna be able to handle seeing the most handsome man he’s ever seen with an adorable kid in a tiny tuxedo.
Eddie shrugs. “No kids. He’s staying with my parents for the night while I undertake my important bridesmaid duties.”
“And your parents?”
Eddie sniffs. “Will hopefully be too distracted by their daughter marrying the love of her life to pay any attention to me and all my many perceived failures.”
“Are they…”
“Not any more than most around here,” he answers. “But they…won’t like it. And they’ll make that clear.”
“Hmm,” Buck hums, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow. “Well you’ve just been upgraded.”
“Again?” Eddie faux-gasps.
“Again,” Buck nods. “Top-tier Boyfriend Package. Includes a Homophobic Parent PDA Pack and unlimited Fuck You Glares at anyone who’s mean to you.”
Eddie chuckles, disbelieving. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Eddie nods.
“I kind of hate weddings,” Buck confesses.
The most beautiful smile he has ever seen breaks onto Eddie’s face.
“And I secretly love rom-coms,” Buck continues. “So this is kind of doing it for me.”
Eddie cocks his head where it’s resting against the pillow. “You hate weddings but you’re volunteering to go to another one?”
“Ah, no, you’re looking at it all wrong,” Buck tuts. “This isn’t a wedding, it’s a covert undercover mission to convince everyone we’re madly in love and make your parents watch us kiss.”
“You’re gonna kiss me?” Eddie asks quietly, eyes searching Buck’s face.
“Can I?”
“Yeah,” he whispers.
“Okay. Good.”
Eddie’s looking at him still, searching for something, but Buck doesn’t know what it is. If he knew, he’d give it to him. He clears his throat. “You never told me what time the wedding starts.”
“Oh, um, 3pm, but I’ll be gone early.”
“Bridesmaid duties,” Buck nods.
“No one told me how stressful it is,” Eddie groans. “Being a groomsman is much easier.”
“It’s sweet,” Buck smiles. “You’re gonna make a beautiful bridesmaid.”
“Yeah, well. I’m now the owner of a very expensive pastel pink suit, so I better be,” Eddie says, breaking off into a yawn.
Fuck his whole entire life. A pink fucking suit. Buck is not gonna survive this weekend.
“You need your beauty sleep,” Buck declares. They’ve got the background basics covered, the rest they’ll improv. “I’ll take the armchair.”
“No you fucking won’t,” Eddie scoffs. “You’ll take the bed,” he instructs, leaning over to switch off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. “Go to sleep.”
“I really don’t - -”
“If I wake up and find you in that armchair or on the floor I’m telling everyone you got food poisoning by playing it fast and loose with the breakfast buffet.”
Buck gasps. “You wouldn’t.”
“Get under the covers.”
Buck sighs, but does as he’s told, wiggling under the covers beside Eddie.
“You’re very aggressive when you’re being nice to me,” Buck mumbles into the darkness.
“That’s because you think I’m being nice to you when really you’re saving my ass and thanking me for it.”
“It’s a nice ass,” Buck admits before his brain can stop him.
He’s about to try and take it back when Eddie snorts, and starts giggling beside him. It’s late, and it’s been a really big, weird day, and it is kind of funny, so Buck can’t stop himself from giggling too.
“This is ridiculous,” Eddie giggles. He’s not sure if he’s talking about the giggling, or the fake dating romcom they're living in, but either way, he agrees.
“I think it’s fun,” Buck admits.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees through a yawn. “It’s kinda fun.”
He wakes up to someone throwing a pillow at him.
“Wha?” He blinks, sitting up. Hotel room. Hot guy. Eddie. Romcom.
Holy shit. It wasn’t even a dream.
“My parents are here,” Eddie whisper-yells from where he’s standing halfway between the bed and the door. He’s wearing boxers and a loose-fitting shirt and, absurdly, socks.
“Okay,” Buck blinks.
“My parents are here,” he hisses, as Buck registers the knocking at the door.
“Oh,” he breathes. “Shit.”
“Are you wearing clothes?” Eddie asks.
Buck frowns at him. “Do you think I stripped in the middle of the night?”
“I don’t - - you’re - - okay. It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m an adult. You’re my boyfriend,” he says, mostly to himself. He turns and narrows his eyes at Buck. “Actually, can you take your shirt off?”
Buck didn’t know this about himself, but it turns out if a hot half-dressed man looks him in the eye and tells him to take his clothes off, he just does it without really deciding to.
Eddie nods at Buck’s now shirtless torso and takes his shirt off, too. Buck gapes. Eddie turns and strides towards the door, pulling it open.
“Everything okay?” He asks the two people standing on the other side of it. Definitely Eddie’s parents, he can tell by the way they disapprovingly zero-in on the scene behind their son’s head.
He watches as his mom takes in the clothes strewn around the room messily, the slept-in bed, and the shirtless man sitting in said bed.
“Oh,” she sniffs. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
“Chris get to his sleepover okay?” Eddie asks, stepping closer towards the door to shield more of the view behind him.
It’s a noble, yet ultimately pointless, effort.
“Who’s this?” His mom asks, ignoring Eddie’s clear attempts to steer the conversation elsewhere.
“I thought we were meeting up after breakfast?” Eddie tries.
“Your mother wanted to make sure everything was running on time,” his dad says.
“I think that’s what the wedding planner’s for,” Eddie suggests. “Go and relax! There’s a breakfast buffet!”
His mother pokes her head over the side of Eddie’s shoulder and makes direct eye contact with him.
“Hello,” she says. “I don’t think we’ve met.”
Eddie sighs and takes a step backwards.
“Buck,” he says, gesturing towards him. “My boyfriend.”
““Hello!” Buck waves from where he’s sitting cross-legged in the bed. “Nice to meet you!”
“Hello,” his dad offers.
“Great!” Eddie claps. “Now that everyone’s met, we’ve gotta get ready. Gotta stick to that schedule,” he says.
“Eddie, honey,“ his mother starts. “Your sister’s special day is really not - -“
“I’ll see you after breakfast, mom,” Eddie cuts her off. “Thank you for looking after Chris last night.”
“I just don’t think - -” She tries.
“I love you,” Eddie says, closing the door at a snail’s pace. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Sweetheart - -” She sighs through the quickly shrinking gap in the door.
“Love you!” Eddie calls through the gap right before it closes. “Bye!” He groans, letting his head bang against the door as it clicks shut.
“You okay?” Buck asks. It’s not lost on him that Eddie just came out to his less than supportive parents before 7am on a Saturday.
Eddie sighs, dragging himself from the door over to the bed and collapsing onto it.
“Someone told her.”
“About me?”
He nods. “About me. She was going to try to convince me not to bring you.”
Buck’s heart clenches in his chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“Mmm,” Eddie sighs, flopping over to look at Buck. “You still down for our covert undercover mission after meeting Helena and Ramon?”
“Hell yeah, baby,” Buck grins. “Let’s change some hearts and minds through the power of love.”
Eddie blinks. “Did you practice that?”
“No. Being corny comes naturally to me.”
“What a gift.”
Eddie’s alarm startles the both of them.
“I have to go,” Eddie groans, reaching for a shirt.
“Boooo!” Buck boos, as Eddie pulls on the shirt.
Eddie chuckles, his cheeks pink. “I’ll find you when I’m free from my duties. I’d hide in here if I were you,” he suggests.
“Noted,” Buck nods, turning over with every intention of going the fuck back to sleep. “Good luck.”
The next time Buck sees Eddie, he’s walking down the aisle wearing a pastel pink suit and looking like the love of Buck’s life. Buck doesn’t even faint when Eddie finds him in the crowd and winks . He just blushes, as is his god-given right.
The wedding is beautiful. Eddie rocks the shit out of the pastel pink suit that matches the bridesmaid dresses beside him. He even catches him crying during the vows, which is just fucking infuriating, because of course he’s hot and sweet.
Buck continues to befriend the extended Diaz family as various groups are swept off for photos — collecting drinks for aunts and finding chairs for grandparents and enthusiastically testing each of the cocktail hour canapes.
Eventually, three glasses of wine and ten napkins later, arms wind around his waist and lips press against his cheek. “There he is,” Eddie grins. “Hi. You look nice.”
“Hey, sweetheart,” Buck laughs, turning to return the gesture with a kiss on the cheek. “I like the pink.”
“Thanks,” he grins. “You ready to do this?”
“Oh, Eddie,” he tuts. “My sister didn’t raise me on 90s rom-coms for me to fail when it mattered most.”
Eddie, to his credit, does tell the story of how they met excellently. He adds new bits every time he tells it. I saw him and I thought, ‘oh, there he is’. I’ve never met anyone like him before. I feel lucky just to know him.
And then, and then, people — people who know Eddie — respond with things like: we’ve never seen you so happy. I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. I saw him blush when he looked at you and knew he’d found someone special.
He’s gotta give it to him — Eddie is a better actor than he gave him credit for. He’s also a better dancer than Buck can process right now, chest to chest and slow dancing with the handsome man whose bed he slept in last night.
“You meet Sophia?” Eddie asks, his lips so close to his ear he could’ve whispered it and he still would’ve heard.
“No,” Buck admits, accidentally stepping on Eddie’s feet for the 15th time. Eddie chuckles. “But she looked beautiful.”
“She did, didn’t she?” Eddie sighs, pulling Buck even closer against him. “I can’t believe my little sister is married. Y’know, right before she walked down the aisle, she told me I ‘bagged a baddie,’” he says, pulling back to look Buck in the eye. “I think it’s a compliment?”
Buck snorts. “Okay, grandpa. How old are you?”
Eddie rolls his eyes. “Shut up. I was a teen dad. I didn’t have time to keep up with the lingo.”
Buck cackles. “The lingo? It’s worse than I thought. ”
They’re grinning, Buck mid-cackle, as the photographer swoops in and snaps a photo of them slow dancing.
Eddie giggles, and presses his face into Buck’s shoulder. “You think my mom is gonna hack into the photographer’s mainframe and delete that before anyone else can see it?”
Buck snorts. “I’d love to see your mom rappel from the ceiling. Duck under some lasers.”
“I don’t know why she cares so much,” Eddie whispers. “No one else cares.”
Buck pulls out of Eddie’s hold just enough to catch his eye. “They’re all really proud of you, you know?”
Eddie cocks his head.
“I can’t tell you how many people have told me that,” Buck continues. “How happy they are for you. How excited they are to meet your boyfriend.”
“Oh,” Eddie blushes, returning to his spot on Buck’s shoulder. “That’s sweet.”
“I’m glad you picked me to be your fake boyfriend,” Buck whispers, low and quiet. “I’ve had a really nice time.”
“I’m glad I picked you, too. Even if you’re a terrible dancer,” Eddie chuckles. “I can’t believe you’re real.”
I’m not, Buck wants to say. None of this is. You wouldn’t want me if it was.
But this isn’t about him. It’s about Eddie, and mildly torturing Eddie’s parents.
“Is she still looking?” Buck whispers.
Eddie pulls back again, spinning them to casually and subtly catch his mother casually and subtly staring at them.
“Oh yeah,” he chuckles. Buck catches the laugh with his lips. Eddie sucks in a surprised breath, then chuckles again against Buck’s mouth when he registers what’s happening. Buck brings a hand up to cup his jaw, and Eddie stops laughing. He actually kind of melts as the angle shifts, Eddie’s palms flattening against Buck’s waist, pulling him closer.
Someone wolf whistles, Buck notes vacantly, as Eddie pulls back with a small laugh. He doesn’t go far, resting his forehead on Buck’s. “She’s not watching anymore,” he chuckles.
“Good,” Buck breathes, adjusting to this new world he’s opened his eyes to where he knows what it feels like to feel sparks fly and fireworks erupt at the press of lips.
Eddie’s breathing heavily, and he’s smiling, and he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He doesn’t even really mean to say it when he says,
“You wanna get out of here?”
“Yeah,” Eddie breathes, eyes wide.
You bet your ass he makes a show of whisking Eddie off that dance floor.
It’s possible that Buck hasn’t thought this through. It’s possible that his brain had been clouded with Eddie’s lips and Eddie’s cologne and Eddie’s eyes and Eddie’s hands on him when he’d suggested leaving the dance floor, all the way up until now, with the hotel room door shutting behind them.
They stare at each other, breathing heavily.
These are the facts, as Buck believes them to be true:
- They are fake boyfriends who fake kissed in front of Eddie’s real parents, in the name of gay rights
- Buck really liked it, and he kind of thinks Eddie did too
- Fake or not, they’re both consenting adults with a hotel room and a bed and Buck is running out of the will to not even put it on the table
“You look really good in pink,” Buck croaks, breaking the loaded silence.
“Wanna see what I look like out of it?” Eddie breathes.
He’s on him before the blazer hits the floor.
Buck lets himself pretend, really lean into the pretending, until the sun sneaks through the curtains.
Eddie, apparently, likes to cuddle. So does Buck. It would be wonderful, if it wasn’t the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Because Eddie is perfect, and he’s cuddling him, and Buck has to tear himself out of his arms and walk out that door and pretend like pretending this was nothing isn’t going to destroy him for at least a full calendar year.
Eddie’s still asleep, lightly snoring against Buck’s throat, but Buck doesn’t want the extra moments of sleep. He wants to remember this. Remember everything he can about his tiny, fleeting rom-com moment and the perfect, unbelievable man the universe dangled in front of him before it rips him away.
He’s counting Eddie’s breaths, like a creep, when his alarm rings out, pulling a groaning Eddie out of his peaceful slumber.
He buries his face further into Buck’s throat with a “ hmmph,” battling blindly in the direction of his phone.
Buck chuckles, reaching over to turn it off.
“Hm hm,” Eddie mumbles into Buck’s neck in thanks.
Buck breathes, and braces for reality to come crashing back down on him.
Eddie twists in his arms, blinking up at him, and Buck has to physically look away because it hurts. It hurts to look at him.
“You coming to the recovery breakfast?” Eddie croaks.
“I should probably go, actually,” he chokes.
He feels Eddie stiffen in his arms. He needs to get out of here. It’s not real, it’s not real and Buck’s an idiot, because he somehow let himself forget that none of this was real.
“Oh,” Eddie blinks, rolling off him. “Of course. Yeah, I’ve kept you long enough.”
Buck offers a tight smile as he slips out of the bed, gathering his scattered clothes from the floor. “I had fun. Last night - - all of it.”
“Sure. Yeah. Me too,” Eddie says. He’s sitting in the middle of the bed, blinking at Buck. “Thank you, again.”
Buck throws on the minimal viable number of clothes he can wear in public, shoving the rest of it under his arm. He turns, and takes in Eddie one more time.
“Bye Eddie,” he whispers.
Eddie clears his throat. Smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Fake.
“Bye, Buck.”
“Fuck!”
Buck is a fucking idiot. He’s so fucking dumb. He’s twenty minutes down the interstate when he realizes a few things. One, they had sex. Sex, that, for some reason, Buck had convinced himself was fake sex, but, with some coffee and some distance, can appreciate that it was very much real sex. There was no audience, no one to convince, just two people, behind a closed door, fully having real, not-fake sex. The second, he never even tried to ask Eddie out for real, and Eddie never gave him any indication that he’d have said no. Buck was so focused on being the world’s best fake boyfriend that he forgot there was a very possible universe where they could be real boyfriends. Third, and part of the reason he’s swearing on the interstate, is that they never actually swapped phone numbers. Fourth, and the other half of the reason he’s swearing on the interstate, is that it’s really fucking difficult to turn around on the interstate.
When Buck skids into the valet drop off at the fancy hotel not even an hour after the bored kid attending it saw him skulk out with one sock on and a tie dangling around his wrist, he’s met with narrowed eyes and a smack of gum. Buck, who is an idiot, throws his keys in the direction of the kid and books it for the breakfast buffet.
He rounds the corner towards the entrance and halts to a stop when he sees none other than Eddie Diaz pacing along the garden in front of him, his phone glued to his ear.
“Hey, Buck. It’s Eddie,” he hears him say. Buck pulls his phone from his pocket and is met with a blank screen. Dead. “I, uh, I stole your number from my abuela’s phone. I just wanted to thank you again, for what you did this weekend. Um. Take care,” Eddie says, hanging up. Buck considers dropping to the ground and trying to blend in with the grass, but Eddie doesn’t look up. He groans, and presses a button, bringing the phone back up to his ear.
“Sorry, it’s me again. I don’t know why I said that. I’d like to see you again. Uh. Yeah. I’d like that, if you would. So just, just let me know. This is Eddie.”
Oh thank fuck. Buck lets out a laugh that’s really just a breath — a disbelieving little thing that explodes out of him. He starts walking towards Eddie when he brings the phone back up to his ear and starts pacing again.
“Actually, I don’t know why I’m trying to play it cool. I really like you. This is Eddie, by the way. And this will be really embarrassing if you’re just a really good actor, and you were just being nice, but it’s fine, cause then I’ll probably never see you again and you can just delete this, but I wasn’t pretending. I didn’t have to. Actually, you wanna know my secret? I saw you. Earlier in the day, before we met. I saw you, and I thought, “ oh. There he is, ” which is an insane thing to think about a person you’ve never met, by the way. And then there you were, again, right there, pouring your punch, right when I needed you, and it was like something possessed me. I know we don’t really know each other, so I guess you wouldn’t know that I don’t really do that. I don’t go up to people and declare that we’re dating and then trap them at a wedding for two days, usually. First time for everything, huh?”
Buck is giggling as he approaches, trying to be quiet enough not to spook him, but loud enough that he hears him coming.
“Eddie?”
Eddie frowns, pulling his phone away from his ear to blink at it, then returning it to his face. “Hello?”
“Eddie,” Buck laughs.
“Buck?” Eddie says into the phone.
“Behind you,” Buck grins.
Eddie spins, eyes wild. He’s not faring much better than Buck is, outfit wise. He’s wearing the sleep shirt Buck had slept in, exercise shorts, and mis-matched socks with sandals. Actually, one of those socks might be Buck’s.
“Buck,” he breathes.
“Hi,” Buck smiles.
“I was calling you,” Eddie says, pointing at his phone.
“My phone died.”
“You’re here.”
“I didn’t get your number.”
“Yeah,” Eddie nods. “I stole yours from my abuela’s phone. Like, I actually stole her phone.”
Buck giggles. He steps closer. “Why were you calling?”
“Why did you come back?”
“I asked first.”
Eddie sighs. “This is ridiculous,” he mumbles, closing the space between them until he’s standing right in front of him. “Buck, do you want to go on a date with me? A very real, not fake date?”
“Yeah,” Buck breathes. “Yes please.”
“Great,” Eddie grins. “What are you doing right now?”
“I was planning on looking for a phone charger,” he admits. “But I can pivot.”
“I have to pick up my kid,” Eddie says. Buck can’t think about how he’s hot and a good dad right now, there’s too much going on.
“I’m free tonight?” Buck suggests.
Eddie shakes his head. “Come with me. You wanna meet him?”
Buck blinks at him. That doesn’t - - they spoke about this. Eddie would be cautious. He’d wait, until he was sure, until - -
“Really?” Buck breathes.
“Yeah,” Eddie smiles. “He’ll like you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you?”
Buck has never been more sure of anything.
“Yeah,” he chokes.
Eddie smiles. He steps forward. “Me too,” he whispers against his lips. Sparks. Fireworks. Butterflies. The credits roll. Buck doesn’t win an Oscar, but he wins just about everything else.