Chapter Text
I watch the feathered critter pecking at the ground. Its white details shine in the sunlight in a bright and beautiful display. A slight breeze catches it off guard as it spreads its wings and ascends into the air. I watch in envy as it flies away. Why can father do that while we cannot?
Despite my envy, it is still easy for me to find the beauty in this body of mine.
If only I felt the same way about my human body.
My hand is tipped with an unnecessary number of five fingers. Why five? What’s the point? I could function with four fingers just fine before; I can do it again.
And the eyes...GODS DAMMIT THE EYES.
Tiny pupils that have the smallest eyesight range I have ever experienced. The sclera is a boring white with red veins in random places. What’s the purpose?
The teeth aren’t any better. Short and blunt. Even the sharpest ones are only good for crushing rather than cutting. I take my finger and clamp down on it. No satisfying feeling of teeth drifting past layers of skin, only a slight pressure that leaves behind nothing but slight dents in the flesh.
Out of absolutely nowhere, an image flashes in my mind. Love it when memories ambush me in my most vulnerable state.
His lifeless body.
Why must the youngest be the first to go?
His bandages are torn, exposing his empty eye sockets.
His chest split in two, a bloody mess where his heart once was.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed tears leaking from my eyes.
I lean against the mirror as the memories continue to fill my head.
“Five becomes four becomes three becomes two becomes one becomes nothing…”
No need to remind me.
“Shamura, rest. We will deal with this. Won’t we, Kallamar?”
“Y-yes sister! O-of course, sister!”
But were we really able to deal with it? Look at where we are now.
I feel like screaming, but all that comes out is a sob.
I start to fall to the ground as I both physically and emotionally collapse. Sometimes, I kind of wish it was I who was felled first.