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MORTAL DIVINITY

Summary:

Ever since he remembered that he is a martyred Bishop of The Old Faith, Ember had been determined to remember everything about who he really is, as well as finding his siblings again.
Maybe his goals are actually steps to finally waking up and escaping his purgatory.

I'm not going to immediately reveal who this is, but I'll give some hints. Tell me in the comments your theories! ;)

Chapter 1: one

Chapter Text

I knew it was the end.
But I was not ready.
I had to live.
I could not allow myself to perish.
As somebody once told me, “It is not death you fear…
It is losing everything you have that scares you most.”

I stare out the window as my headphones play music at full volume, mostly drowning out the voices of all the children. The city seems much more dull than usual. Then again, it’s always like that when you’re remembering the eons you spent living in nature and are therefore used to natural life being literally everywhere. I suppose it is still that way, though society has very much challenged that.
Finally, the bus arrives at the school. How splendid. The last thing I need is endless amounts of mostly useless information forced into my already deranged mind while being stuck with hundreds of foolish and ignorant children. At least not everyone is like that.

“I am going to assault every single one of you with a cucumber.” I remark out of absolutely nowhere as I set my backpack down. As expected, everyone listening turns and looks at me as if I just recited The Bible in Japanese backwards. They respond as such, too.
“What?” Evie questions like her art makes any more sense than what I just threatened.
“But I like cucumbers.” Sarah (or as we like to call her, Soap) responds.
“Then I guess I’ll have to assault you with a carrot.”
“Aww.”
Everyone else just laughs.
The average conversations begin. My girlfriend, Annie, tries stealing my phone to see my Spotify history, only to give it back when she finds nothing interesting. Some of us recite memes for no reason whatsoever. You know, average teen behavior.
The bell rings, reminding us that we unfortunately must suffer more today. Thankfully, my first period is theater. The one class that I don’t utterly hate.

Our class play is called Belle and That Beast Guy, so right off the bat you can tell it’s stupid. I was unironically assigned to be The Beast. If I’m being honest, I kinda wanted that role, so that’s nice.
“Once upon a time, there was a prince.” Becky, otherwise known in the play as Candle Gal, gives me my cue to step on stage. “He was a spoiled brat.”
I whip my head towards her. “Hey!”
“He had a teacher, a mysterious old woman. She tried to teach him.”
Her voice is, honestly, kind of bland. She definitely sounds like a she’s just doing a class read-aloud, a glaring sign that she doesn’t care at all. Unfortunately, she’s not the only one. The only person that actually gives effort into this class (other than me) is Nat. But hey, at least I’m not the only one who actually puts emotion into their dialogue.
After what feels like hours, the bell rings for next period. It feels like hours.
The next one does, too.
And the one after that.
Basically, all of them are like that, except for lunch.
“Guys, Gerald’s here!” Sarah points out.
“Yeahh!!” Everyone cheers
Gerald is a hoverfly that visits us during lunch. We try to give him food, it never works.
Considering my friend group is a bunch of mentally unstable quierdos, lunch is just another day, another 30 minutes of absolute chaos. It’s actually really fun.
Of course, it cannot last forever, as the bell for us to go inside rings.
Then the bell to get to class.
The entire day feels like years, until after 7th period when we can all finally go home.

One bus ride and car ride later, I finally arrive back at my house. Exhausted, I flop onto my bed and let out a long, exasperated groan. Why must life be so hard?
I roll onto my back and stare at my ceiling. Today was pretty boring, wasn’t it? Oh well, tomorrow will be better, right?

…right?

Chapter 2: two

Summary:

Quick TW: symptoms of depression, medication reference

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Hey, you ok?” Milli’s voice snaps me back to the present.

“Uh, yeah. Just… tired is all.”

“Hm. Same.”

My excuse isn’t entirely a lie. But no way I can tell her about what’s really going on.

“Let this be a lesson to all of you.”

Ugh, shut up, Narinder.

“Might as well just keep working on my book…”

“Can you leave your book alone for just five seconds?” Annie asks in clear annoyance.

“No. I need to cope. Plus, I’m still only 5 pages in.”

I open my laptop and click on the file that contains my book for now.

2084 draft 1

 

The day goes on, feeling like only 6 months long. Hey, it usually feels longer.

I zone out as I watch the blur of the suburbs going past. I bring my hand to my neck and feel my…right. There’s nothing there.

I sigh and watch as the rain pours down. At least there’s that.

 

I end up crying myself to sleep that night…again. This isn’t unusual, actually. I guess that’s what happens when I forget to take my meds. Again.

“What is it you are so worried about?”

You know exactly what.

The memories have been ambushing me a lot more lately. Like, more than usual. What, no, I’m not concerned, you are.

I slip my hand under my shirt and feel my heartbeat. It’s technically not supposed to be there. Alas, it is. Nothing I can do about it.

It’s been thousands of years, yet the pain still lasts. Am I just constantly reliving my death in a nonphysical sense?

I grip my pillow and wrap all my limbs around it while it grows damp with my tears.

It’s been so long. Too long. I wish I could go back.

I just wish I could go home.

Or at least see them again.

I miss them.

 

Too much.

Notes:

Sorry this one's short! I'm not the best at writing long chapters.
Next one will be better, I swear!

Chapter 3: three

Summary:

Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while! I've been dying inside as the days grow longer as a pathetic human mortal :)
Anyway, back to the depressed teenager going through the 5 stages of grief with the last one chucked out the window!

TW: dead things (yes, I'm calling Leshy a thing), mourning, auto-cannibalism (kind of, it's just a soft bite that doesn't draw blood) gore. Like, a lot of gore

Notes:

I know I said this one would be longer, but I couldn't keep it going. Sorry :(
I'm doing my best, I swear! ToT

Chapter Text

I watch the feathered critter pecking at the ground. Its white details shine in the sunlight in a bright and beautiful display. A slight breeze catches it off guard as it spreads its wings and ascends into the air. I watch in envy as it flies away. Why can father do that while we cannot?

Despite my envy, it is still easy for me to find the beauty in this body of mine.

 

If only I felt the same way about my human body.

My hand is tipped with an unnecessary number of five fingers. Why five? What’s the point? I could function with four fingers just fine before; I can do it again.

And the eyes...GODS DAMMIT THE EYES.
Tiny pupils that have the smallest eyesight range I have ever experienced. The sclera is a boring white with red veins in random places. What’s the purpose?

The teeth aren’t any better. Short and blunt. Even the sharpest ones are only good for crushing rather than cutting. I take my finger and clamp down on it. No satisfying feeling of teeth drifting past layers of skin, only a slight pressure that leaves behind nothing but slight dents in the flesh.

Out of absolutely nowhere, an image flashes in my mind. Love it when memories ambush me in my most vulnerable state.

His lifeless body.

Why must the youngest be the first to go?
His bandages are torn, exposing his empty eye sockets.

His chest split in two, a bloody mess where his heart once was.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed tears leaking from my eyes.

I lean against the mirror as the memories continue to fill my head.

“Five becomes four becomes three becomes two becomes one becomes nothing…”

No need to remind me.

“Shamura, rest. We will deal with this. Won’t we, Kallamar?”

“Y-yes sister! O-of course, sister!”

But were we really able to deal with it? Look at where we are now.

I feel like screaming, but all that comes out is a sob.

I start to fall to the ground as I both physically and emotionally collapse. Sometimes, I kind of wish it was I who was felled first.

Chapter 4: quick note

Summary:

I promise we'll get back to the fic after this

Chapter Text

sorry I haven't uploaded in 57 years! I'm on summer vacation and only now logged in from my personal computer. updates will come soon, I promise!