Chapter Text
25/04 - 19:56
The darkness is unending as Izuru lies there. Frozen. Warmth is still pooling around him and the soft hum of the chambers can be heard rhythmically pulsating from all sides.
What happened? Did something go wrong with the machine? Nothing feels particularly different from before he went in.
No, that's not quite true. His body seems to ache and his muscles burn for disuse. It's a strange uncomfortable feeling biting under his skin but no matter how much he tries to move his body a seem to want to cooperate. It’s almost like he’s been untethered. Disconnected from his own body.
Fighting against his own body, he does his best to pry open his eyes. It takes uncomfortably long but eventually they flutter open and the eerie green light he remembers from the chambers swells around him. It stings his eyes viciously and completely fills his vision. The glass lid above him is fogged up and blurred, obscuring the world laying out beyond it.
Laying there, unable to move, he tries to determine what just happened. It feels like mere seconds ago that he laid down in the eerie chamber with the others but his body tells a different story. Days. Weeks. How long had he been confined and powerless? Did this mean Junko had been successful in her ploy?
He doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know.
An unfamiliar fluttering feeling aches in his chest as he strains against his own human limitations. His own mental distractions are doing little to overcome the odd feeling.
He’s relieved when the repetitive drone of the chamber is suddenly broken by the distant sound of footsteps approaching. The light, almost musical sound of the steps is already more than enough information for him to pick up exactly who it is.
Sure enough as the lid slides off the familiar odd silhouette of the brown haired girl that had helped set them up in this place appears. Her swirled ponytail bounces in an off-putting way as she runs up to him and peers down at his unmoving form. He's sure she told him her name when they first arrived but he never bothered to even think twice about it. If he really wanted to he could remember it from the archives of information in his mind but she’s not even worth that small slither of effort. Just another face from the crowd that will come and go from his presence.
It’s only now as she stares down at him, the green light reflecting off her skin unflatteringly, that it hits him like a truck. There she is right above him and yet he can’t so much as lift a hand to wave her away. She could do anything to him now and he wouldn’t be able to stop her. She could kill him and he’d be trapped pathetically.
Something within him tightens and constricts as he strains to move anything at all. The most he can manage though is blinking disorientingly at her which only makes him more vulnerable to any potential onslaughts as the darkness covers his vision entirely.
“Hajime! Are you okay?” Her voice is grating, like sandpaper tearing at his skin, but he can’t cover his ears or do anything to shield him from it. His furious series of blinks must be more than enough of a confirmation for her though, “Thank god! We were so worried we’d lose you guys too."
Are those tears in her eyes? She's clouded by sentiment and fear for people who have done nothing but harm to her. He supposes that's why Junko will always win in the end…
He wonders if she knows his role in the events that transpired. It was her who submerged him in the system. Her who was too busy excitedly explaining the system to notice him uploading the virus. When did she realise her mistake? More than ever, the void in his memory and experiences is working against him. Days worth of memories he has no access to him that everyone else will know about. That fluttery feeling returns in full force, gnawing at his insides.
Still unable to move, the girl reaches down towards his stiff body and clutches his hand. His body shivers of it’s own volition as he tries to shrink away from her unsuccessfully. It's like his body is having some kind of allergic reaction to her very presence. However she's either too unobservant to notice or she simply doesn't care. Given her tears earlier, he's inclined to believe the former.
With very little effort she yanks him forward until he's completely upright and wobbling weakly. His body seems to somewhat have woken up as he reaches out a hand either side to keep him sat upright. Trying to balance in whatever feeble way he can. Refusing to let her see just how weakened he is. If she wanted to kill him now will be the best chance she’s going to get.
The odd girl simply stands next to him, her eyes bright and still sparkling from tears. He can see her mouth moving at a million miles per hour but he can't hears any of her words. The static sound of his own mind is completely drowning her out. He doubts she has anything of worth hearing though.
Unable to hear her, his eyes start taking in the rest of the room instead. Surveying for potential threats. All he can see are a few open chambers between the closed ones with the other people he entered with sat upright. Other members from the future foundation that had submerged them here are stood by each of the dazed members, just like this girl is for him. He drinks in their appearances and tries to place their names. He'd never bothered to think about most of their names before - they were just mindless, predictable puppets of Junko - but now their names suddenly flutter to the forefront of his mind like it's the most natural thing in the world.
Fuyuhiko, Akane, Sonia and Kazuichi. The survivors he supposes.
He spent more than enough time watching over the despairs from afar during their 'reign' but these aren't the four he'd have selected to survive a killing game. He never did know them before Junko drained them of anything interesting though. Perhaps thinking that would be giving them too much credit though.
Did this mean Junko failed? The idea doesn't seem to quite fit in his mind but the proof is right here. None of the dead bodies around them are moving. They're all dead still and perfectly sealed beneath glass. The only people moving are the five of them awkwardly fumbling as they are assisted with sitting upright.
Junko failed. Again.
He feels like laughing. The warm feeling emanating from inside him and rippling out. No sound ever comes out though.
She failed again.
After all her talk and grandeur she really was as useless and boring as the rest of them. A fashionista more than an analyst. She did promise him something unpredictable though so she delivered in that sense at least.
"Are you okay?" The girl leans towards him again, her face crumpled up unflatteringly.
This time he is able to move his body and he instinctively retreats from her. She bites her lip but thankfully backs off at once. As soon as she’s out of his personal space he let's out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. His head somehow throbbing as if he has just been held underwater. Lungs burning and screaming for oxygen.
Did this program do something to him?
"I’m fine." He tries to speak but his voice comes out crackly and disjointed. He feels a strange warmth inch across his cheeks at the sound of his own pathetic failure.
"Don't worry, you've been asleep for twenty three days so you might be a little stiff for a while." She gives what he assumes is supposed to be a reassuring smile but it is nothing of the sort.
Twenty three days. His past self wasn't as pathetic as he'd assumed then. Twenty three days is all it took to destroy Junko for a second time - and for good this time too. He's not going to make her another AI this time. She's outlived her usefulness at this point. If she needs him just to keep her functioning then she is hardly worth his time - surely even she would agree with that.
He can see every other despair turned to look at him, their eyes foreign and dripping with emotions. Confusion? Relief? Disappointment? He has no idea… For once, he can't read them at all. Just that alone has him twitching. Swallowing hard as he tries to make sense of all of this. Fighting with his own mind as hard as he can.
"Let's get you out of here then."
She cautiously reaches towards him, waiting for a negative reaction, but he moves towards her instead. Their hands meet in the middle as she pulls him further out. Hooking one arm under his she half carries him out of the chamber.
That warmth from before brushes across his cheeks again as he flails on the ground like an incompetent child. Legs buckling under his weight until he's utterly reliant on the girl at his side. He struggles with his own legs, trying to shrug the girl off as soon as possible but it's useless. There is no point in even trying. Eventually he succumbs to his own weakness and allows her toned arm to hoist him up. Gripping onto him with everything she has.
"Don't worry, I've got you." She mutters. Her voice is far too close to his ears, grating against him and making a shiver run down his spine. Goosebumps erupting all over his skin without his consent.
He's thankfully distracted from the invasive feeling as a thud echoes around the room. Everyone turns their head to see Akane sprawled on the floor. The tall boy with dreaded hair standing over her awkwardly.
"Help her up, Hiro." The stern girl that had first greeted him when he disembarked the boat sighs deeply. Standing up as straight as ever as she surveys them all with her cutting gaze.
"Useless." The lanky boy with glasses rolls his eyes and spits out the words. Lips twitching and pursed as he sneers down his nose at each of them.
He can't say he disagrees. The strange boy - Hiro or whatever they'd called him - can barely lift her, struggling at yanking her up by the arm. Bit by bit he can see her growing redder, the vein on her forehead throbbing as she grits her teeth loud enough for everyone to hear around the room. Her hand twitching into tight fists as she prepares herself to shove her 'helper' off at a moment's notice. She's barely more than skin and bones, all gaunt edges and deep pitted skin, yet he seems to fumble his way through the entire interaction.
Eventually he manages to hoist her up, her skeletal body wobbling unstably every time he moves. It’s hardly the most elegant looking thing but he supposes it does the job.
"We need to get you guys somewhere more comfortable." The sound of Naegi’s voice has his blood turning to ice in his veins as he whips is head around to examine the shorter boy. Appraising him once more.
While he might not have wanted to waste his time and energy on these people’s names, it was impossible to forget his name. Not when Junko treated it like a prayer, never shutting up about him even before he helped lead to her downfall. Given the situation they’re in he shouldn’t be surprised to see him here again and yet it still has him double taking as he examines the other boys dazed expression.
Izuru can't remember ever seeing anything that even slightly resembled comfort when they were first lead through the building but he doesn't argue. They weren't exactly given the grand tour before, all these people wanted was to get them shoved inside those chambers as fast as possible. Hell, they didn't even know who he was.
"We have a few rooms and beds set up for you all across the hall." The stern girl almost sounds soft and warm as she speaks but he doesn't trust it for a second.
What happened inside that machine? They must have realised they'd been duped. They don't seem remarkably unintelligent - well, some of them don't at least - so they must know something is up.
Who knew not knowing could churn his stomach so much…
Still resting his weight on the swirly haired girl, they hobble out of the room and cross to the opposite side. No one says a word but the sound of their shuffling feet says more than enough. Swelling around their room as the sound gradually grinds more and more against the inside of his skull.
As soon as they enter the room Izuru locks his eyes on the nearest couch. The less time he needs to spend pressed up next to this girl, the better. Before they've even gotten to the couch he pushes off of her and half walks and half falls the last few steps. Fuyuhiko isn't far behind, tripping like a fawn as both of them lay unceremoniously on the couch.
For the first time Izuru has to hunch over and take deep, raking breaths. He can feel them rumbling through his chest. He digs his nails into his legs as they shiver and tremble meekly. At this point he doesn't care if he's breaking skin. Any distraction from the pounding in his head and aching of his body will be welcomed.
"Are you okay?" The girl has sunk to her knees, trying to make eye contact. He turns his head as far from her as he can and scrunches his eyes closed, "I'll get you some water! Staying hydrated is important!"
He can hear her footsteps slowly growing quieter as she runs across the room to get some water from somewhere. He gets a few precious seconds of peace before she's back and pushing water into his hand. The stubborn part of him that he never knew existed wants to throw it in her face but the dry cracking of his lips tells a different story. Just the sound of the water sloshing next to him is making his mouth feel dry and desolate. And yet even swallowing is suddenly such a chore.
Before he can think twice he grabs the cup and gulps it down within seconds. Is his mouth supposed to feel more dry now than it did before? He has no time to ask for more though as she's already run off to get water for everyone else.
While he's waiting for her to finish he looks up and tries to acclimate to the new room. It's as dull and bare as the other room with a single television in front of the variety of couches on one side and a kitchen dining room on the other.
The others have all collapsed on the couch too. Akane seems to have thrown her head back, her eyes closed softly and her chest slowly rising and falling with her shallow breaths. The others all seem in a similar state to him, fighting their body for control and dominance. Fuyuhiko’s dead blue eye is staring off ahead, not rotten but unmoving in the socket. The unsettling gaze of Junko following him even in death.
He looks to the other future foundation members. Much to his surprise, they aren't the only ones suffering at the moment. Naegi has his head in his hands as he slowly massages his temples. At a glance the girl and boy either side of him don't appear bothered at all but he can see the way their knuckles whiten and their eyes glaze over every so often. Only the swirly haired girl and 'Hiro' seem relatively unbiased.
By the time the swirly haired girl sits down they have a table full of water glasses that even they will probably never get through. All of the glasses sitting there, glistening under the fluorescent light of the room around them. Part of him wants to reach over and grab another one but he doesn’t trust his hands to be stable enough to keep a hold of one anymore.
The first one to stand up is the stern girl from before. She gives her skirt a calculated brush down before carefully speaking with a steady, cool voice, "Before we start, I just want to ask how much you remember from the last few days." Every word she speaks seems to have an untold weight. She's reading all of them in ways he doesn't even understand yet and it makes something hot writhe inside him.
"I do not remember a thing." Sonia holds her head up high as she speaks.
She looks as perfect as the last time he saw her. Even after spending weeks confined to a small coffin, every strand of her hair seems to still be in place. But more impressive than anything else, she's sat up perfectly, poised as if she was still on her throne giving out death orders. While the others seem second away from being taken out by infection or a strong wind, she almost looks normal. As normal as someone can look in this situation.
It’s only worse when you compare her to Kazuichi who is on her other side. Izuru is pretty sure he is supposed to be looking subtly to the side to examine Izuru but it’s anything but subtle at this point as he sways on the spot, "No…none of us do."
Out of all Junko's mindless slaves, Kazuichi had been the one he'd seen the most. He could be considered her favourite, if she even had those. But even so, seeing him clean without the thick layer of oil, grime, and blood almost makes him like an entirely different person. He supposes this is better but that isn’t saying much.
Yet the most different thing is his eyes. Physically both eyes are the same but you could be mistaken for thinking they weren't. Gone is the feral, psychotic look that always permeated them. Now they're wide with soft, worn down edges. They almost look like they're shimmering in the dull lights of the room.
"Great…" The blonde boy mumbles, too quietly for most people to hear but he's not most people. If he had the energy to care he might rolls his eyes but instead he just ignores him completely as the girl continues to explain.
"Then I will try to make this easy for you to understand." In Izuru's limited experience, nothing good comes after a sentence like that, "As you all likely already know, an AI of Junko was uploaded into the program when you were all logged in. Your brain dead friends are the result of the ensuing killing game."
Brain dead. He doesn't know why the words stick out in his mind. As soon as he learnt about the Neo World Program he knew what would happen if someone did in fact die in it. They all knew what they were doing when they agreed. They might not have all been gifted with very many brain cells, but they were certainly intelligent enough to know the stakes coming into this at the very least. So why is he getting hung up on that now…?
"When your avatars got to the graduation ceremony we were able to enter the program to help you and you were given three choices. You could choose to stay in the program, trapping us and you with Junko for eternity. You could graduate and free Junko into the world through your deceased friend's bodies in order to destroy these versions of yourselves. Or you could undo the program and return to your bodies without any memory change, destroying Junko forever."
Junko had gotten so close to success again then. In the back of his mind he wonders how large of a role Naegi had in her downfall this time. Another failure at the very last second to the same people.
The blonde boy looks away and pushes up his glasses obnoxiously, "It's not hard to figure out what you chose."
Although he'd been hunched and holding his head just a few seconds before, Naegi stands up enthusiastically. Ready to launch into a dull speech at a moment's notice, "You made a worthy sacrifice and saved the world from Junko. Your avatars had hope for the future and we won't let your hope die. We promised to keep protecting you - even if you can't remember what happened in the program. You can still be saved."
This is the Ultimate Hope, huh?
He's not particularly noteworthy, even sat here in front of him he doesn't seem very charismatic unlike his opposite: Junko. The sparkle in his eyes is foreign and alien after spending so much time in the filthy cesspool that is the outside world but even that can be easily overlooked. Every word that comes out of his mouth is predictable and meaningless but he's the one who beat Junko over and over again.
"Hope, huh." Fuyuhiko scoffs quietly to himself. His beady blue eye is gazing through Naegi this time and Izuru could swear he sees him shiver under the glare. Does he know this is Junko's eye? Izuru can't imagine not being able to tell.
"You really think we can be saved." Kazuichi snorts and raises a single eyebrow. The thin scar running through his eyebrow stretches and bends awkwardly, extenuating the expression.
"I know you can be."
He says it with so much conviction that Izuru can only sit there dumbfounded. For the first time in his life he feels like laughing. What is he even talking about?
When the stern girl opens her mouth he's expecting her to completely disagree with every utterance that spouted out her colleagues mouth but instead - "He's right. If you let us help you we can do everything we can to help you undo your brainwashing. You just need to be open to the idea and ready to ask for help."
Coming face to face with the hope Junko fought so hard against he can't say he disagrees with Junko. It's somehow both illogical and completely predictable. Stable and naive. He'd hoped for better. This whole venture has been a complete waste of time then.
"We do not need to be saved." Venom oozes out of every word Sonia speaks, "You might not understand but we enjoy the despair. It is not something we need saving from."
The blonde boy lets out a deep sigh and stands up to walk over to the kitchen. He can feel the weight of every step as the boy trudges away from them all. As he lowers his head he can just about see the swirly haired girl’s hands curl into a fist around the fabric of her trousers.
"Then we can't allow you to leave. For protection of course.” Just like that the stern girl puts her foot down without a moment hesitation or uncertainty.
“Yeah, sure. Protection from us.” Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes eye.
“Of course. Protection for you too. The future foundation and the world itself isn’t exactly happy with you and we intend to protect you from all of them too - whether you want us to or not.” Despite her sanctimonious words, they are nothing more than prisoners. Trapped here until they become too dangerous or risky and the future foundation can eradicate them for good. It doesn’t matter though. They all came here knowing full well they could just be executed on the spot by the future foundation. If they think this will scare them then they are sorely mistaken.
“Call it whatever you like. That doesn’t change what it is.” Akane speaks for the first time, her voice somehow both gravelly and light. He is almost surprised she can talk, considering the state she’s in. Her voice barely even audible as it scratches roughly against the inside of her throat.
“You truly aren’t prisoners, however I know we won’t be able to change your views of it. We will always be here to help you if you ever change your mind though. I don't know what Junko did to you at school but we did get to see the people you used to be and they wouldn't have wanted this for you." She speaks slowly with lidded eyes. The edges of a yawn stroke her voice.
Their past selves. He feels like scoffing at her. Whoever it was in that machine, it wasn't him. They might have both had this body at some point but they are by no means the same people. Hajime was too weak to understand what Hopes Peak wanted from him so why should he get any say in Izuru's life? If he'd been stronger and smarter he would be here instead of Izuru. But he isn't so he has forfeited his say in anything. He's not going to listen to a corpse.
Without another word the girl reaches down smoothly and takes Naegi’s hand, pulling him up to stand beside her with complete ease. Unsurprisingly, he looks disappointed and won't meet their eyes but he doesn't say a word this time. He just allows her to lead him out of the room, the other two boys trailing behind them.
The door closes behind them leaving them all alone with the swirly haired girl who had woken him. They must not care about her if they're leaving her here all alone. Either that or she just drew the short straw this time.
"So…" The girl claps her hands loudly. At once Kazuichi flinches back as if he’s been woken from some kind of daze. His gaze is fixated on the final girl left in front of them.
She laughs uncomfortably and forces a stilted smile, “If you’re going to be staying here for a while I should show you where you’re staying.” She puts a good foot forward and heads off towards the kitchen.
For a moment none of them move. Not only can they not move properly, but why should they? They’re just fancy prisoners after all. It is far easier to just sit here and watch her fumble about.
“Oh right, I forgot.” She blushes profusely and rushes back over to them, “Uh…you can’t exactly walk around yet but this is the living space. It's got the seating areas as well as a pretty well stocked kitchen! We’ve all cooked in it before and it seemed great!” She seems to be awkwardly buzzing about the room. He can’t quite determine if it’s the nerves or if she's just naturally like that.
Still desperately trying to point to areas without moving, she gestures behind them, "And those are your rooms. There's one for each of you! I know they might not be much but it's all we could really manage since most the future foundation is against us on this…" She swallows deeply and gives them all an expectant look.
At once he pictures the last 'room' he had. A dull metal frame and springy mattress in the middle of a dark room. He can't imagine what more you would need. He's seen many other people's rooms since Junko set him free but they all seemed far more complicated than they needed to be. He doubts even they can mess up a bedroom really.
As they're unable to move she has to quickly move on, leaving the rooms themselves still a mystery. "And if you go out there you'll find access to the rooftop, the surgical ward and doctors office as well as all our temporary rooms. I think there's a library and gym too but I've been a bit too busy to check," she scratches the back of her neck with one hand, "you'll be able to see for yourself though."
With that she just pauses expectantly. The five of them are stuck sitting there in utter silence. What are they supposed to say? ‘Oh wow, sounds like lots of fun. Can't wait to enjoy our prison sentences here.’?
It's a relief when she finally breaks the silence to continue chattering more to herself than to them at this point, "Oh yeah, since we don't really have any staff the doctors office and stuff isn't normally staffed. We have a few people working under us that have been trying to help but it's risky to mess with the future foundation. They said they could come and examine you all today to see how they can help you recover. So expect that I guess." Her awkward laughter doesn't help her in the slightest, "Uhhh…so I'll take you to your rooms to try and relax a little before the doctors come to start poking at you."
He can barely hold himself from rolling his eyes as she drags him up again. He has enough feeling in his legs to support his body, even if he can't really move them on his own.
He finds himself looking back at the others muttering amongst themselves as he's dragged off alone. He barely even knows any of them but the idea of being taken off on his own makes that uncomfortable fluttering in his chest start up again. He tries to smother the constricting feeling to no avail.
As they get closer to the rooms he notices just how many there are. At a glance he already knows it must be fifteen. One for every member placed in the machine. The future foundation would have designed this wing for the innocent Hopes Peak students to recover after treating their trauma in the Neo World program. It will never be used like that though… Not anymore.
The image of the sealed pulsating chambers from the other room is seared into his mind. It's easy to say the numbers but actually seeing their open ones surrounded by the sea of sealed ones is different. So many unused rooms sat here waiting.
"Do you mind which room you have?" She asks him nonchalantly as they step into the corridor of rooms.
He shakes his head. He doubts any of them vary anyway. "Okay. We'll start with the nearest one then."
She carefully helps him balance so she can open the room door for him. His legs immediately feel like matchsticks seconds away from snapping. He manages to hold himself there though as she swings the door open and wraps her muscular arm around him once more.
Sure enough, it's nothing more than a white bed and a sterile desk in a small room. There aren't even shelves or places to put clothes. Just the bed, desk and icy white walls as far as the eye can see.
"Sorry, I know it's bar -" She begins apologising but he cuts her off.
"It's fine." He reaches forward and pulls himself out of her reach so he can hobble over to the bed on his own. His muscles sigh with relief as he sinks into the mattress. If the girl wasn't here he could fall backwards until he was surrounded by cushioned mattress.
"There is a lock on the inside of the door but there's none for the outside of the door." She moves over to demonstrate on the door, "It should give you some privacy at least, even if you can’t lock it when you're not in it."
Privacy, huh…
"It won't be too long until the doctors come so just keep yourself comfortable until then." She clears her throat as she examines the room, "I'll go take others to their rooms now then…"
He doesn't know what doctors are going tell them him that he doesn't already know? Honestly he's probably more qualified than them… Still there is no point arguing with her here and now. All he wants is her gone so he shouldn’t try to keep her here.
With that she turns to sprint out of the room. Her hair swishing behind her as she does whip around. She’s almost out of the door when he finds himself leaning forwards. Calling out to her before he can see sense and stop himself, "What's your name?"
She grinds to a halt, not turning to look at him. Just looking at her back he can't tell what's she's thinking in that exact moment. It’s not often that he sees her standing this still - not even breathing.
"Asahina. Aoi Asahina." She still doesn't turn to look at him. She doesn't even move. If he didn't know better he'd think she was under some kind of spell.
Then, just as suddenly as she'd stopped, she runs off again. She closes the door behind her, sealing him in. Straining his ears be can hear her chatting with the others but he couldn't care less what they're saying. Instead he lies back and rests his aching body.
Thoughts spiral in his head, running rampant. This entire place and situation is a confusing mess. Is this how he's supposed to live the rest of his life now? Trapped in these walls with these dull, useless people? He doubts these people could really do anything to stop them if he tried to leave - after all he is the true Ultimate Hope. But what’s waiting out there? The dull world he witnessed Junko create. Maybe he's just cursed to the boring and predictable.
He's not sure how much time passes as he lies there. Distant sounds fade into nothing over time. He listens to every second pass on a clock in the corridor until even those blur in his mind.
It's been a while since he's been able to just lie down and listen to peaceful nothing. Junko's world didn't have time for that kind of still or quiet. He's beginning to think that was a flaw with her grand master plan.
~~~
25/04 - 22:43
He's so engrossed in lying with his thoughts, he doesn't hear the doctors approaching until he hears the knock on his door. His heart rate leaps for a moment before he settles himself again.
"Come in." The words come out crackly and quiet but they must be able to hear him as the door promptly swings open.
With the door open he can see the other rooms in the corridor once more. A barrage of doctors have come as he can see other doors opening to let doctors in. Across from him he can see Fuyuhiko glaring at the approaching doctor before the door closes, hiding him from view once more.
"Hinata, right. Hajime Hinata." The doctor mutters, flicking through the papers casually.
He's dressed just like Izuru remembers them looking. The pristine white coat and everything. He's just like the ones from Hopes Peak, all clinical coldness and steely edges. He'd fit right in with that gaggle. In fact, he's with the future foundation so he very well could have come from Hopes Peak.
Izuru has to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from saying something unnecessary, "Izuru Kamukura." There's no point in lying about who he is now.
The doctor stares at him before looking down at his chart again. Double taking for just a moment as his lips purse together firmly. Izuru can see him scratch something out on the paper and scrawl what he assumes is his updated name.
"Okay, Kamukura." The doctor drops the clip board back to his side as he just remains by the door. Surveying Izuru from a distance, “As you're aware, I'm one of the doctors that was able to come here to check on you all. The Neo World Program can exert a toll on the body and mind - even if you didn’t successfully complete the program."
"Yes. Muscle atrophy." He tries to keep the sigh out of his voice. This is a waste of time…
"Somewhat. The Neo World Program was designed to keep the patients in as good condition as possible since it's designed for psychological treatment. We wouldn't want you permanently crippled while we tried to treat your mental state. You might be feeling some discomfort and aching for now but if it has worked as intended you should be able to recover from this in a few days. Just keep trying to use the muscles as much as possible, even if you are doing it while sat in bed." The doctor gives a saccharine smile which makes his skin tingle.
Without any warning the doctor starts to approach him. Every step the doctor takes seems to make his chest constrict a little more. Not just his chest, his throat has seized up.
What the - ?
He can see the doctor talking but not a single word reaches Izuru. Static has wrapped it around his head as he tries to keep breathing in and out without drawing the attention of the doctor. His entire body is burning and yet he’s still shivering at the same time. All the while the doctor is happily chattering away, focused on his clipboard as he raises it once more. Closing the distance between them as he tries to show something on the paper to Izuru.
For a moment he wonders if he's been poisoned. Did Asahina slip something in that water he chugged? No, he already knows what it is. It's anxiety. He’s having an anxiety attack. Him. It doesn't make sense at all.
"Kamukura, are you okay?" The doctors words cut through the haze of his mind. Sharp as his body flinches away without his consent.
"Of course."
"Is it okay if I do the tests then?" He shuffles slightly closer. Izuru can feel every centimeter between them. The gradually shrinking space slowly sucking the air out of his lungs.
"Of course."
The doctor watches him uncertainly but begins checking him over anyway. Once more he can barely hear the words the doctor says but he fights to control his breathing if nothing else. Focusing all his attention on keeping himself frozen solid as the doctor keeps moving his hands all over Izuru.
Every time their skin makes contact he feels like vomiting. He's practically gasping for air as the doctor asks him to unbutton his shirt. His shiny metal stethoscope glimmers in the light. It's nothing more than a flat surface but his mind sees the sharp knives and instruments from Hopes Peak. Their perfect reflective surfaces echoing into the present. The way they'd cut and cut until nothing was left.
He doesn't even feel the cold metal pressing against his skin. He just feels the burning searing pain of skin being torn apart. The hot flush of blood trickling down his skin.
He's not sure what happened next. The fog chokes him and his mind fully shuts down. No matter how much he tries to steady his breathing the doctor must be able to hear the rugged choking sounds he's making.
And yet...
“Okay, we can call it a day for now then.” The words puncture the fog in his mind. Yet the hot fuzzy heat surrounding him doesn't dissipate. Clawing it’s way down his throat as if trying to desperately suffocate him just like that.
Was he so absent from his own mind that he didn't realize how much time had passed? Surely the doctor hadn't done all the necessary tests yet. He doesn't have as many memories as most but his most vivid ones are still those from his time at Hope’s Peak. He knows enough about psychology to know those will likely never fade. Not really. The hours he would spend in the pristine white rooms every day running tests. It certainly never felt like the blink of an eye.
Sure enough, when he looks down at his arms he sees the blanched skin still free from marks. No needle points. No blood. No nothing.
“We’ve done all the most important tests and it seems you’re in perfect condition.” The doctor chirps up, as if to confirm Izuru's thoughts. He's already brushing himself down and stepping back, ready to leave.
Just like that.
But before the doctor can change his mind Izuru is rapidly buttoning his shirt up, His hands so numb and hard to control that he fumbles pathetically with each one. The buttons slipping right out of his grip as he grits his teeth. But no matter how many times he stumbles, he refuses to give up.
As soon as it’s buttoned he holds his arms as tightly around his chest as he can. He wants to make himself as small as possible and move away from the doctor, but his body aches too much to even try. Instead he just settles for shielding himself as best he can with his heavy arms.
“Okay.” He chokes out the word pathetically.
“Are -” The doctor freezes for a moment, eyeing him up in an uncomfortable way before continuing, “Are you sure you’re okay? If you need anything you can let us know.”
“I’m fine.” He bristles at the insinuation.
In truth he can feel his stomach beginning to grumble angrily and his throat now feel more coarse than it had felt before Asahina had given him that water. No way is he going to take anything from this doctor though. The last thing he needs is to let them feed him some kind of sleeping pill to keep him placid.
“Okay, then. Although we're leaving today, Naegi and the others will all still be here in case your condition changes. We've got a walker for each of you that I'll bring over in a minute. Practicing with it will hopefully help you start to walk on your own as soon as possible.”
As soon as possible they say. That can’t be soon enough at this point. At least it will give him something to do while he’s stuck here - but the weak reasoning isn’t even effective within his own mind. Even he can’t argue with the failures of the human constitution. At least it shouldn’t take too long if they’re to be believed.
“I understand.” His hands curl into fists in his lap. It clutches at the edges of his shirt fabric.
The doctor lingers for a moment, mouth opening and closing, but he doesn’t say a word. Soon enough he’s gone leaving Izuru alone with his thoughts. And yet, he can somehow still feel the man there. He can still feel his cold fingers pressing against the skin. He wants to pull on his thick and pristine suit jacket but it’s not here. All he has is this useless flimsy t-shirt. It truly is like a prison here…
It's almost a relief when the doctor comes back with the walker. The droning patronisation of him demonstrating the walking exercises is almost enough to occupy his mind for a short time. Even that doesn’t last forever though as the doctor bids him farewell for good this time.