Chapter Text
11/06 - 05:59
As the sun begins to rise they all sit up blearily. Trapped somewhere half between being asleep and being awake. Tugged in both directions as they rub at their sore eyes. Backs aching and minds still racing. They might as well not have rested at all…
Although he can feel his stomach growling, he does nothing but push it down. Even if he did try and eat right now he doesn’t think he could keep it down. It would be smarter to make sure he’s working at his best before he leaves but just the thought of eating while the others are still out there fills him with dread.
It seems like he wasn’t the only one feeling that way though. Not a single one of them offers to make food or even goes through the bag for snacks. Instead they all break off into the same groups that they had yesterday - ready to set off immediately.
The sun is still rising when they step out. The pink and orange tinges from the rising sun still painted across the deep red morning sky. It might even be beautiful if the situation was different. If being the key word there.
Not one of them takes the time to really admire the sky though. Instead they just get to work. Weaving through the alleyways once again. Trying the same failed technique from the day before. It’s like they’ve truly descended into madness. Blindly charging at the same wall over and over. Hoping something will have changed. Praying that the others simply stumble into their paths.
No matter how hard Nagito tries to fill them with his hope spiel, it does very little to raise their spirits as the day wears on. It almost feels like they’re trapped in a time loop. Repeating the same doomed cycle once more only to find exactly the same results again.
In a desperate attempt Hajime drags them out onto the main street once more. Although Hiyoko might not be brave enough to throw herself into the crowd like this, Kazuma and Mitarai might be less averse. It’s a risk they’re more than willing to take right about now when they have nothing else to go on.
Wandering into basically every shop down the street. Searching for anything familiar and coming up short handed. At some point he just forgets what they’re supposed to be doing in the first place. Going through the motions more than anything else.
However as they stumble along the main road, sticking close to the edges where the shops are, Kazuichi grabs onto his arm. Pulling at it like a child, “Shit.” He’s ready to tear Kazuichi’s hand off him when the man begins hissing like a gas leak, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
His adrenaline spikes as he whips his head around to try and locate whatever has gotten him so worked up. But as soon as he sees it his blood turns into ice. Freezing in his veins.
Right at their side is a wall of TV’s locked behind the store window. Each one turned on and showing exactly the same scene.
His face. Hajime’s face right there. It might be a sketch but there’s not a single doubt in his mind it’s him.
“…three dead. He was spotted alongside some members of the infamous remnants of despair who recently returned to Japan after wrecking havoc upon the Future Foundation so it is believed he may be a member. Keep you eye out as they may have gone into hiding using disguises.”
“Fuck.”
He swallows hard. Almost choking on the lump in the middle of his throat.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. That fucking video.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. A way to pay back Makoto and the others. Yet here it is getting used against them now. What else did they expect? It’s not like he didn’t consider the consequences but he just assumed they would be able to shed all that behind them. It’s less easy than it sounds though.
The world around him seems to grow louder and louder. The sound of footsteps cascading around him. Crashing. Thundering. Echoing. He hadn’t been all that bothered by the crowd before but now he’s acutely aware of every casual bump. Every shoulder nudge. It’s like his very skin has been set alight.
“What -?” Nagito begins to ask but almost instantly he cuts himself off. The sight of the TV catching the edges of his vision.
As Hajimes’s heart rate spikes and his vision blurs, he keeps waiting for some kind of reaction from Nagito but it never comes. While Hajime can barely force a breath into his lungs, Nagito is just standing there like this is the most normal thing in the world. If it wasn’t for the slightest twitch of his jaw and the icy chill hidden behind his eyes, Hajime would think he just hadn’t noticed at all.
How is he so calm about this?! Doesn’t he understand?!
Is the crowd getting louder? He could swear it’s getting louder. He’s pretty sure he can see Nagito and Kazuichi’s mouth moving but their words are caught up in the tide of the sounds. And yet he can still hear each and every heart beat. Every unsteady breath. Every twitch of his own muscles.
He’s not sure when they start moving but he’s vaguely aware of Kazuichi’s calloused hand gripping his own. There is no way he can miss the sweat clinging to Hajime’s hand but he just grips tighter as they begin to plow forwards.
Nagito must be with them but he can’t see Nagito anymore. Honestly, he can’t see anything any more. It’s hard to see anything through the spots dancing in front of his vision. Marring the world before him.
By the time they finally stop he has no idea where they are. His head smacks into the brick wall as Kazuichi practically shoves him into the darkened alley way. Barely even looking at him as he instead peers back where they just came from.
The spark of pain suddenly rushing through his head, dragging him under, brings the dull ache of his abdomen back once more. If it wasn’t for the harsh sharp bricks digging into his spine he’s not sure his legs would be able to keep him upright.
As such he doesn’t try to stand up and move away. Instead he tilts his head back and drags in a long breath of air. Forcing it into his lungs as he screws his eyes shut. Fingertips gripping the bricks until he can feel the skin tearing. Blood beginning to spill from the tattered skin.
He’s not sure how long he stands there for but he can gradually here the sounds all around him dying away. No…that’s not right…they don’t die but they seem to be muffled. As if someone had thrown a blanket over his head, insulating him from the outer world.
While there is no running from the muffled static that follows him like a darkened cloud, it’s at least a little more bearable as he can hear Kazuichi and Nagito hissing to one another once more - even if he can’t seem to take in their words.
Sure enough, when he finally opens his eyes he can see them both hovering in front of him in the shadowed alley. Kazuichi’s hands and legs twitching as he keeps looking back at where they came from. His teeth practically chattering as his wide eyes scan the area feverently.
Meanwhile Nagito is as still as ever. His cool eyes sharp as they look Hajime up and down before settling on hid mid section. Moving on instinct, Hajime’s hands shift to cover it but there is no point. It’s not like there is anything to see anyway…at least not unless Nagito can suddenly peer into his mind.
His fault.
This is all his fault.
How could he have been this stupid?
People can be dumb and irrational but not him. He’s supposed to be better than that but he dragged everyone into this. He should have taken charge. He should have pushed them all to keep moving. He should have disguised himself. If Nagito and Kazuichi get caught now then it’s all his fault. The biggest threat to them right now is him.
“They know…” Kazuichi murmurs. Still swaying from side to side as his eyes finally meet Hajime’s.
Even though he’s stiller now than he was before, he somehow looks even more feverish. The shaking unable to be contained as the frantic look swallows him whole. Drowning out anything else that had once been there. That alongside the clothes and short black hair almost make him look unrecognisable.
He keeps reaching out for things he can latch onto in his friend and yet the more he tries, the more his head burns. The more the world sways beneath his feet.
“Well, they knew from the second we got here…” Nagito sighs as he leans back against the wall. Slipping his steady hands into his pockets with casual ease, “We shouldn’t get worked up. We should have a little more hope than that.”
“I don’t think either of us want to hear about hope right now.” The bite unintentionally comes out in his words but Nagito’s face remains stoic. You would almost assume he simply didn’t hear at all. Instead he simply hums to himself. Pacing along the alleyway a little as he rubs at his chin almost comically.
“They didn’t mention Hiyoko or any of the others.”
At the moment his mind can’t seem to piece together what Nagito is trying to say at all. For some reason it feels like all the connections in his mind have been slashed and he just has to stand there. Fighting to stand upright as he squeezes his fists tightly. Tethering his mind the only way he knows how.
On the other hand Kazuichi’s face just grows redder and redder with every passing word, “So what?”
“You don’t need to listen to my -”
Letting out the deepest sigh he can, he grits his teeth and hisses, “Get on with it.” They can have time for his pessimistic rambles another day. This is not the time or the place to be messing around.
“Well, if they had been killed surely it would have been included in the report. There’s no way they would report on Hajime and not mention that they had killed any of the remnants. People would be celebrating all over.”
“What if they didn’t realize it was one of us? Or what if it was Mitarai or Kazuma. They wouldn’t know to report on them.” Kazuichi’s words get faster and faster. He might as well be tripping over his own tongue as his voice devolves into sharp hisses that might as well be unintelligible.
“Then why would they have been killed?” Hajime pauses for a second. He almost feels stupid for not considering it sooner. It does make sense. More sense than he would like it to.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Kazuichi simply sneers. His upper lip curling as he gives them both a baffled expression.
“He means that this place isn’t exactly a hellscape. It’s almost…civilized.” Considering how things were as they arrived it feels odd to say those words but it fits too well. Other than that one encounter it’s actually been…fine. As far as cities in this day and age go.
It was him who killed those people. Him who has the blood still dripping from his hands… Can he really hold it against them for wanting to get revenge? Was there something else he could have done back then that would have stopped this from devolving as it has now…was there some other way of fixing all this?
What if, what if, what if…?
Shaking his head he forces himself to speak once more before he second guesses himself any further, “It’s not like people are running around killing each other. They only want us dead, so without knowing our friends were despairs they would have no reason to kill them.”
His words seem clear and concise in his own mind but Kazuichi just narrows his eyes. Looking between them both as if they’re the insane ones here, “Then why haven’t they returned? It’s been like two days now and we’ve seen nothing. Kazuma and Mitarai wouldn’t just run off. Nor would Ibuki and Sonia.”
He wishes he could answer the question. Everything in his body is screaming that this must be the case. They wouldn’t be dead. They can’t be. But if they’re not where are they?
There are worse things than death in this world…
Hiyoko was right. They should have left this place ages ago. They should have left the second she suggested it. Would they still be in danger if they had left now?
“We don’t know.” It feels sour to hear the words aloud but some of the tension drifts off of Kazuichi at those words. A weight flying off of him. His head tilting up softly to meet Hajime’s gaze, “All we know is we can’t give up hope and assume they’re dead. We do need to find them though.”
“We have a lots of ultimate’s looking so there’s no way we can fail.” For a split second he almost feels himself being swayed by Nagito’s sheer confidence. He’s not even sure where it comes from. It’s not like they’ve done a single thing in this world to have earned the trust he places in them but looking at him now it’s impossible to believe he’s being anything less than entirely truthful and honest.
Kazuichi opens his mouth ready to say something but he catches himself at the last second. Instead simply nodding. Firm. Even if it doesn’t reach his eyes, it’s a start. A start is all they need.
“We’re going to find them but clearly running around like headless chickens isn’t exactly helpful. Besides, being seen as little as possible would be best. Anyone and everyone could recognize me within a second.” He tugs at a lock of his hair. Pulling as hard as he can without actually ripping out the strands.
“What should we do then?”
“We need something more efficient as we might be just missing them if we’re all walking around and not staying in one place.” Nagito taps his foot steadily as he starts to ponder racking his brain for whatever mad plan he’s going to come up with.
However before he can even get a chance to think Hajime jumps in, “What about if we leave symbols?”
“Symbols? How will that help?” Kazuichi looks between them. His voice pitching up somewhat almost excitedly.
“Well if we can leave some kind of graffiti around the city that only they would recognize and we paired it with some sort of message then hopefully the others will notice.” As he says it he’s hit by just how vague it sounds but something deep in his gut tells him that it might have a chance of working. Maybe. Or maybe he’s just being a little bit optimistic.
“Okayyyyy….” Kazuichi drawls, leaning back and crossing his arms disapprovingly. Look he didn’t say it was perfect but it’s an idea at least, “Do you have any ideas what the symbol and message could be?”
“It has to be something everyone in the group would recognize and something no one else would know.” Nagito mumbles softly to himself.
“And something that people wouldn’t assume is a code. Because they’re looking for us so they’re going to expect a code.” Kazuichi points out rather unhelpfully. Maybe it would be more effective to find solutions but he doesn’t say that aloud to Kazuichi.
No matter how much he shakes his brain, the solution eludes him. Perhaps he’s the wrong person to be attempting this in the first place. The only symbols he’ll be able to think of that won’t tie them back to Junko are from the Neo World Program and Teruteru and Kazuma weren’t exactly there for long. It’s not like they can go around sketching Usami or something, she would just look like a normal rabbit.
Wait…Usami…
“What about Chiaki Nanami was here with this shape?” He asks tentatively, as he slowly pulls the pin out of his pocket. Holding it out for them both to examine.
“I didn’t realize you still had that…” Nagito mumbles absentmindedly. Clamping his hands together behind his back. Taking a step or two backwards after a second.
“We can talk about it later.” He clears his throat, this wasn’t the point of the conversation. Not now. “Do you think it would work?” He turns towards Kazuichi as he’ll be the one that’s harder to convince. Besides, if Kazuichi can understand what the signal is meant to mean then it should be understood by Ibuki and the others too.
“I…” Kazuichi bites down on his lip, “I don’t know. There’s no way they won’t know we were here at least.”
“It’s worth a try then. If they are walking around maybe it will remind them that we’re still here.” It feels like a long shot but at this point long shots are all they have.
The others nod slowly. Not exactly the enthusiasm he had been hoping for to give him confidence but it’s something. Beggars can’t be choosers.
Taking a nearby rock he begins to crudely scratch the words into the wall. Creating the best galaga ship he can with the tools provided. It’s not the sort of thing that would win awards but he steps back and brushes his hands off anyway. All things considered it’s good. Good enough to recognise when you read the message at least.
As soon as he finishes, Kazuichi claps him on the back. Offering the most pathetic smile Hajime has ever seen but he takes it anyway.
“Are you ready to do that all over the city?”
“Bring it on.”