Chapter Text
Kurapika didn't show up the next night. Or the next. Or the next. He hasn’t shown up in Leorio’s life in three months.
Leorio sighs as he thumbs through his most recent texts to the blond. All have been left on read, not a single one responded to.
Something wrong? U ok? Why haven't you been showing up?
I assume your just busy or smth, but plz at least text me to let me know u are ok. I love you!
It's been weeks. Still no sign of you. I miss u sunshine, I really do. Plz text me back <3
Why are you ignoring me? Plz stop ignoring me.
Kurapika please, im worried about you
Don’t forget to take time to rest and bind safely! :)
Are you going on any mission lately? How’s the mafia and stuff been? Are you safe? Plz answer Pika. I love you
Tonight i had steak and potatoes! Wish i couldve shared it with you. I have leftovers if you want to come by for a bite, or just to relax
Hey love! Have you been safely binding? Eating enough food? Drinking enough water? Is the binder still working out? Don't forget to take it off for exercise and sleep <3
Going into my last few exams for this semester! Exciting, right? I'm one more semester close to becoming a doctor! Maybe you'd want to come over and celebrate with me? I'm thinking about getting ice cream! Or maybe a fancy bottle of wine! Any recommendations on good wines?
A kind reminder to take care of yourself! Eat three meals a day and drink water! Plz take care of yourself love <3
Kurapika, i'm here if you need me. Just one text and ill be there for you. I promise love, just let me know when you need me! I love you!
Plz text back . . .
This is the last text im gonna send until I get some response, I feel bad that I keep blowing up your phone. If you need anything let me know. Hell, even if you just want anything, im here. My door is always open, anytime of the day. Everything in my house is open to u using. Even if im not home, just feel free to stop by if you need it. Just please be safe. Plz plz plz take care of yourself. I miss you Pika. I love you. I hope to see you soon. <3
Every night he sent a text, until a few weeks ago. He sent the last one and decided to give Kurapika a bit of space. Slowly Leorio sets his phone down and stares at the ceiling. He can't do this anymore. This back and forth. He thought things were doing better, thought they were doing better. Their relationship was finally stabilized. They were happy. Then, like he always does, Kurapika left him alone.
The only difference with it this time is that Leorio isn't blaming himself. He was able to see into a small fragment of Kurapika's thoughts before he left.
Kurapika basically said he loved their time together and therefore he basically said he loved Leorio. He did not think Leorio did anything wrong, not one bit. Kurapika is most likely blaming himself. Or the option Leorio thinks is the best bet, he's scared and doesn't know what to do. Usually, Kurapika doesn't get scared. Usually, he is the strong one who, if he can control his anger, is sturdy in the most terrifying situations. But now, he's probably scared. Scared to lose Leorio because of the mafia that he's involved in. Scared to have to choose between Leorio's life and his clan. Leorio can see why this would spike fear in his heart. However, he doesn't know why Kurapika didn't listen to him.
He can hold his own against others. He is not weak as Kurapika thinks he is. Leorio is strong, stubborn, smart, and can one hundred percent fight alongside Kurapika if given the chance. He doesn't need to be the one protected! Hell, in just a few years, once he graduates, he will be the one protecting and saving others every single day! And if med school has taught him anything so far, it's that he can function in terrible conditions. If he is able to think well enough to get a high grade on an exam after two hours of sleep, little food, a mild fever, and dehydration, then he can do anything! Right?
He would just go to Kurapika's house and tell him this. Maybe even just to check up on the blond. But he doesn't even know where the guy lives!! And he's smart enough to know not to roam around mafia territory. That's asking to be on thin ice with some dangerous guys, and he's not going to do that. Hell, it might even push Kurapika further away.
Zepile says he should cut his losses and get over Kurapika. He says Kurapika is not worth the stress, worry, and sorrow. He says it's just a nasty breakup and that Leorio should find someone else. Zepile has always been weary of Kurapika since that first date that the blond didn’t show up to. But Zepile doesn't understand.
Leorio loves Kurapika. He loves the blond with his whole heart. But Kurapika is more than a lover. More than someone to lust over. More than someone to hold close at night. More than a person to have feelings for. Above all, Kurapika is a friend who Leorio cares deeply about.
If he can't have the man as his partner in love, he at least wants to keep the other in his life. A work partner or just as a friend. Whatever he can have he will gladly take. He just wants to live a life with Kurapika in it, whether that be romantically or as a friendship.
Leorio closes his eyes and turns off his phone. The painful stabs at his heart are starting to get easier to handle with every day that goes by. He hasn't gone numb to them, but instead he's just getting used to them. It's been three months since Kurapika left that night.
Three months of buying food for two people in case he shows up, and then throwing away a bunch of leftovers because one man can only eat so much. Three months of having extra soft and large sweatshirts hanging up in his closet, just in case Kurapika shows up and wants something comfortable to lay in. He has yet to touch these sweatshirts, he bought them just for the blond. He now keeps his place clean, just in case Kurapika shows up.
Every other week he buys new flowers from that little shop. He's been doing this since one night a week or so into them dating. Kurapika commented on how much he missed the little flowers in the beer bottle, so the next day Leorio got new ones. He didn't expect to continue to buy these flowers within these three months, but he would hate for Kurapika to return and there be no flowers there for him to look at.
These past three months he's been waking up to the smallest noise in hopes it's the blond knocking on his door. His phone is on ringer constantly just in case he gets a text or call from Kurapika. He has a stack of books of Kurapika's favorite genres and authors next to his couch, just in the chance he comes over but has nothing to do and wants to read. He makes sure to have good quality whiskey and wine in his house, not letting others touch it. It is saved for Kurapika, and he made sure it's the blond's favorite brand.
Zepile says he's obsessed. But he's not!! He hasn't thrown himself into work like the last time Kurapika left! And he hasn't gotten addicted to anything! He's content with life and he's not depressed! He's not obsessed! He’s . . . just prepared.
A notification on his phone makes his heart skip a beat. He immediately checks it and frowns as he notices it is not Kurapika.
His classmates are planning on bar hopping tonight since they finished their final exam not too long ago, and he was invited. He told them he would be able to join for the first bar but would probably tap out after that. The text was just his friend double checking that he was still coming.
The sinking feeling of disappointment at it not being Kurapika's number on his phone doesn’t go away. For months now it has continued to linger no matter what he does.
He texts the classmates back to let them know he's on his way. After a minute of closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths, Leorio gets up and gets ready. He puts on one of his nicer suits. It's a black suit with a dark blue undershirt and a black and blue tie. It’s a new suit, one he wanted to show Kurapika before the blond left him.
After getting dressed, he looks at his mirror. He fixes his hair and lets out a long painful sigh. His dark mocha eyes swirl with thousands of emotions. As he blinks, his eyes become sad and broken.
But that won’t do. He’s not broken! He’s not depressed! He’s fine! He’s just perfectly fine! He’s going out to be with friends, he has nothing to be sad about! He needs to be happy and enjoy the night! He just needs to not think about Kurapika . . .
Huffing, Leorio pushes down all of his lingering emotions. He adds the only thing his outfit is missing, a smile.
Quickly, he heads out to the bar.