Chapter Text
Seulgi
The first snow of winter falls quietly outside my window. I should be reviewing for the CSAT, but my mind kept wandering. Six months since Jaeyi disappeared. Six months of wondering if she was truly gone.
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. A package with no return address.
My hands trembled as I open it. Inside was a pair of shoes and an small envelope. My breath catches in my throat. Jaeyi? Is this from you? Is it you?
I opened the envelope, and inside was a photograph of a place I’d almost forgotten. The beach with that long bridge stretching out into the water where I got lost as a child, where I stood crying and alone.
“Impossible,” I whispered, but my heart couldn’t be wrong about this.
It’s Jaeyi. It’s Jaeyi. It’s Jaeyi. I know it’s her. Jaeyi is alive.
“Wait for me. I might be a little late, but I’ll always come.”
Jaeyi’s words echoed in my mind as clearly as if she were standing beside me. I clutched the photograph to my chest, tears blurring my vision.
She’s waiting for me.
I didn’t even grab a coat. I ran down the stairs of the apartment complex, bursting through the entrance doors into the cold night. The snow continues to fall as I scan the street, hoping against hope that she might be there, watching me from the shadows.
“Jaeyi?” My voice breaks in the silence.
No answer comes, but it doesn’t matter. I know where she is. I know she’s waiting.
I fell to my knees right there in the snow, relief washing over me in waves so powerful I can barely breathe. She’s alive. The thought repeats itself. It sounded so beautiful in my head that drowned out everything else.
Back in the apartment, I grabbed my step-mom’s car keys and scribbled a hasty note: Need to leave urgently. Will explain later.
As I start the car, I thought about the last time I saw Jaeyi. I couldn’t even look her in the eye then, too consumed by my own anger and grief. Too focused on how her father killed my father, and still walked free despite all the evidence we’d risked our lives to gather.
I thought I’d have more time with her. More chances to see her smile, to hold her hand, to hear her voice. I never imagined that day would be our last.
Not this time. This time, I won’t let this chance slip again.
“Jaeyi-yah,” I whisper as I drive through the snowy night, “I hope you’re waiting for me there. I’ll see you. Wait for me.”
Jaeyi
The small house by the beach is nothing like the mansion I grew up in, but it’s the first place that’s ever truly felt like home. Simple wooden walls, a fireplace that struggles against the cold, and windows so big I could watch the view outside all day if I wished.
I wonder if she’s received my package yet. If she understood what it meant.
Six months of hiding. Six months of rebuilding myself from scratch, of learning who I am when I’m not under my father’s control. Six months of missing Seulgi so desperately I could feel my heart aching even in my sleep.
I wasn’t supposed to be alive. For years, ending my life was the plan. The lake was meant to be my final escape. But as I grew closer to Seulgi, something changed in me. The more I got to know her, the stronger the urge to protect became. It was now hard to leave everything behind when Seulgi had somehow, against all logic, became my everything. Long before I stood at the ledge, I had already changed my plan.
I couldn’t leave her wondering forever, couldn’t bear the pain I’d be causing if I died just like that.
So I jumped, but not to die. I let myself sink instead, used the skills I’ve been practicing the last few months before I enacted my plan to make it believable enough, then swam away.
I disappeared. Found this place where Seulgi once got lost as a child. It seemed fitting to come here, since it’s the closest I could be to her. It’s the place she and I only know.
I stoke the fire and look out at the falling snow. Each minute stretches into eternity as I waited, hoping she understood my message, hoping she would come.
The sound of tires on the gravel driveway makes me freeze. Headlights cut through the darkness, illuminating the swirling snow. My heart pounds so hard I had to pat my chest to calm it down.
I stepped outside onto the porch, inhaling the cold air that quickly burned my lungs. The car door opened and there she is, glowing in the darkness of the night, snowflakes catching in her hair.
“Seulgi-yah,” I whispered, the name I spoke in my dreams, in every waking day since I abandoned my life in Seoul. The only person who’s been plaguing my thoughts, the person I yearned to see.
Woo Seulgi.
Seulgi
The drive took hours, but I barely noticed. My mind is filled with Jaeyi — her smile, her laugh, the way she always knew what I was thinking even when I tried to hide it.
Memories flood back as I drove. Jaeyi covering my ears when Yeri and Kyung bad mouthed me. Jaeyi holding my hand every time I looked bothered. Jaeyi helping me investigate my father’s death, even though it implicated her own family. Jaeyi looking at me like I mattered when everyone else had forgotten I existed.
Snow falls heavier as I approached the beach. The roads become treacherous, but I didn’t slow down. I can’t. Not when she’s so close.
Finally, I see it, a small house near the shore with warm light spilling from its windows. My hands shake as I pull into the driveway, blinded by tears or snow or both.
And then she’s there, standing on the porch, looking exactly as she did six months ago and somehow completely different. More free. More herself.
“Jaeyi-yah,” I call, my voice carried away by the wind. But she hears me anyway.
I don’t remember getting out of the car. I don’t remember moving toward her. But suddenly we’re standing face to face under the snow.
“You came,” she said, her voice soft.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?”
She smiled, that rare, genuine smile that never appeared in any other occassion except when Jaeyi was talking to me.
“I knew you’d come. It’s only a matter of when,” she replied, slowly reaching for my hand and clasped it.
I want to be angry with her. I want to demand explanations, to ask how she could let me believe she was dead. But looking at her now, alive and free and waiting for me, all I can feel is gratitude.
“I thought you were gone,” I said, my voice cracking, a lump in my throat forming as a tear fell from the corner of my eye. “I thought I’d lost you.”
Jaeyi
Seulgi stood before me, snowflakes caught in her eyelashes, her cheeks red from the cold. She looks exhausted and beautiful and so real that it hurts.
“I thought you were gone,” she said, her voice shaky, a tear escaping her eye. “I thought I’d lost you.”
The pain in her voice sent an ache through my chest. I never wanted to hurt her, but I had no choice. There was no way to tell her my plans without risking everything.
“I’m sorry,” I replied, wiping her tears with my thumb. I gently caressed her cheek, feeling the heat beneath my eyes. “I couldn’t tell you. My father would have — “
“I understand now,” she interrupted. “I know why you did it.”
I nodded, tears falling from my cheeks as Seulgi pressed her cheeks against my palm. Oh, to feel her again. To hold her again. To see her again.
“Come inside,” I prompted. “It’s cold.”
She followed me into the cabin, our fingers intertwined. She closed the door behind us, leaving all our thoughts and worries outside. It’s just us now.
I took her coat, noticing the way her hands still tremble. She looked around the cabin, at the books piled on every surface, the blankets draped over the worn couch, the mug on the coffee table.
“So this is where you’ve been,” she remarked.
“Yes. Learning how to be a person. Learning how to live without being controlled.” I paused, gathering some courage. “Missing you.”
She smiled shyly, looking away before responding. “I missed you too, Yoo Jaeyi.”
Her eyes find mine again, and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. We’ve never said it out loud, never acknowledged the thing that has been growing between us. But it’s has been there, in every glance, every touch, every time we’ve risked ourselves to protect each other.
“For years, my plan was to die,” I admitted quietly. “But getting to know you changed everything. I still jumped, but not to end my life. I did it to start a new one.”
Seulgi
“You should have told me,” I whispered.
“And risk your safety?” She shook her head. “My father would have destroyed you to keep his control over me. He almost did.”
She’s right, and we both know it. Her father nearly killed me during the investigation. Would have succeeded if Jaeyi hadn’t intervened.
“For months, I’ve been dreaming about you,” I confessed. “Dreaming that you were alive somewhere. That you’d escaped.”
I swallowed hard. “I was afraid to believe it, even when I wanted to.”
Jaeyi stepped closer, close enough that I can see the flecks of gold in her dark eyes.
“I’m sorry I made you wait. I needed to be sure it was safe. That he believed I’ve disappeared.”
“Is it safe now?” I asked, though I already know the answer. It will never be completely safe. Her father is still out there, still searching every corner of the earth.
“Safe enough,” she answered with a small smile. “And I was tired of waiting. Tired of being without you.”
I thought about the nights I spent staring at my ceiling, replaying our last conversation, wishing I had said all the things I kept to myself.
“I never told you,” I started, then paused, unsure how to continue.
“Told me what?” Jaeyi asked, her voice gentle. I missed Jaeyi’s voice so much. How it sounded in my ear. How it made me feel.
The words got stuck in my throat. We’ve never been direct about this thing between us. It’s always been in actions, not words. In the way she protected me. In the way I kept coming back to her despite telling myself to stay away.
“That you changed everything,” I finally admit. “Before you, I didn’t trust anyone. Didn’t want to because people in my life had their way of leaving me behind. But you kept showing up, kept pushing your way into my life even when I tried to keep you out.”
“You were the same for me,” Jaeyi replied. “Before you, I was just someone’s daughter, whatever my father wanted me to be. I was alone until you came around.”
She reached out slowly, her fingertips brushing against my cheek, wiping away tears I didn’t realize I’d shed. I was just so glad I’m standing before her, seeing her again. It’s overwhelming.
“Stay,” she whispered. “Stay the night with me.”
That night, we talk for hours about everything and nothing. Child memories, books we’ve read, dreams we’ve hidden away. Our legs tangle under the sheets, not quite touching but close enough to feel each other’s warmth. There’s no rush, no pressure. Just two people finding their way back to each other after being lost for so long.
Jaeyi
Morning light filtered through the curtains, painting soft stripes across the wooden floor. I’ve been awake for hours, watching Seulgi sleep beside me, her chest rising and falling with each breath. It still feels unreal that she’s here with me.
I slipped out of bed quietly, careful not to wake her. She needs rest after the long drive and our even longer conversation last night. We talked until she fell asleep, filling in the gaps of our six months apart.
In the kitchen, I find myself humming as I crack eggs into a bowl. It’s a habit I’ve developed during my time alone here — filling the silence with whatever sounds I can make. But today, the silence doesn’t feel heavy. It feels peaceful, knowing Seulgi is just sleeping.
As I’m scooping the fluffy eggs onto plates, I hear the floor creak. The sound of her bare feet padding across the floor makes my heart skip. I’ve imagined this moment countless times, what it would be like to share a simple morning with her, no threats hanging over our heads. At least for today, we can pretend.
The scent of breakfast must have woken her. I don’t turn around yet, savoring the anticipation of seeing her morning face.
“Hey, you’re up early,” I greeted.
A moment later, I feel Seulgi’s arms around my waist. My stomach flutters at the unexpected gesture, so natural yet so new between us. I smiled and briefly peeked behind me. “How’s your sleep?”
“Good,” Seulgi’s soft voice tickled my ear. “Though I wished we could’ve stayed in bed a little longer.”
I chuckled, caressing her hand on my waist. “We can spend the rest of the day in bed if you want.”
I could feel her shake her head against my shoulder, her forehead resting there for a moment.
Seulgi who acts like she doesn’t need anybody is clinging to me like a koala. Adorable.
I finished plating breakfast and turned towards Seulgi, momentarily breaking away from her hold. I cupped both of her cheeks, allowing myself to really look at her. Her eyes are clear this morning, not clouded with tears like last night. There’s a softness to her face that I’ve missed seeing.
“What do you want to do today?” I asked, knowing our time is limited.
Seulgi flashes a cheeky smile. “Maybe you could suggest?”
“How about a walk outside?” I offered, thinking of the beach path I like to walk in.
Seulgi agreed, her small dimple below her cheek showing as she smiles. After we eat breakfast, I called Seulgi to help her dress up.
“It’s cold outside,” I told her, gesturing for her to come close.
Seulgi slowly approached me. I flattened her hair then tuck the loose strands behind her ear before sliding a beanie over her head. Then I helped her put on a pair of gloves, pulling them over her fingers one by one.
I could see Seulgi blushing and looking away as I did it. I can’t help but smile as soon as I notice.
“Cute,” I remarked, the word slipping out before I can stop it.
Seulgi playfully slapped my chest then took my hand. “Let’s go?”
Her hand is warm in mine as we step outside into the winter morning. The beach looks different with her here — brighter somehow, despite the gray sky. I squeeze her hand, reminding myself that this is real. For now, at least, she’s with me, and that’s enough.
Jaeyi
The beach was quiet that morning, with only the sound of waves and the seagull breaking the silence. I watched Seulgi as we walked along the shore, her steps leaving prints on the damp sand that would soon be washed away.
“I come here every morning,” I told her, pulling my coat tighter. “Sometimes I talk to you, even though you’re not here.”
Seulgi turned to look at me, her eyes wide and questioning. “What did you say to me?”
I laughed softly, feeling a blush creep up my cheek. “Silly things. I’d tell you about the books I was reading, or the old fisherman who sometimes gives me extra fish when I buy from him.”
We reached the bridge where Seulgi got lost as a child. It was nothing special, just a wooden pier stretching out over the shallow water, but it meant something to us both now.
“Can we sit for a while?” Seulgi asked, already moving toward the edge.
I followed her, sitting close enough that our shoulders touched. For a few minutes, we just watched the waves roll in and out.
“When I got your package,” Seulgi began, “I couldn’t believe it at first. I thought I was imagining things, seeing what I wanted to see.”
“I was worried you wouldn’t understand.” I picked up a small pebble and threw it to the sea. “Or worse, that you would understand but wouldn’t come.”
Seulgi took my hand, soothing it with her thumb. “Of course I’d come. I would’ve found you eventually, even without the clue. I just didn’t know where to start looking.”
“I wanted to contact you sooner, but it was too dangerous for the both of us. He’s still out there, you know.”
Seulgi nodded, a shadow crossing her face at the mention of my father. “Is he still looking for you?”
“Yes. He won’t stop easily.” I turned to face her directly. “That’s why… that’s why we need to be careful.”
She didn’t argue. She understood the danger better than most.
“Jaeyi-yah…” She hesitated, looking out at the horizon. “Can I come here again? To see you?”
The question hung between us. As much I’d love to, I know we can’t for now.
“No,” I said quietly, feeling the familiar pang in my chest. “It’s too risky. My father is doing everything he can to find me. If they followed you here…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. We both knew what it meant.
“I can leave with you now,” Seulgi protested. “I’ll go if you tell me.”
I shook my head. “Your dream of becoming a doctor has always been important to you. I won’t let you drop that just to be with me.”
Seulgi looked down, her hair falling forward to hide her expression. “But — “ she sighed and looked away as she cut off herself. “It’s not fair.”
“No,” I agreed. “It’s not fair at all.”
A seagull landed nearby, pecking curiously at the wooden planks. We watched it hop around as we bask in the silence.
“I’ll wait,” I said firmly. “However long it takes. I’ll wait while you finish medical school. I’ll wait until it’s safe.”
Seulgi lifted her face to mine, eyes glistening as tears formed at its corners. “What if that’s years from now?”
“Then I’ll wait years,” I answered simply.
“What if — “
“Whatever comes next, we’ll figure it out,” I promised, squeezing her hand. “If it’s you, then I don’t really mind waiting.”
She flashed a somber smile, the kind that breaks your heart and mends it all at once. She leaned to the side, resting her forehead against mine. The scent of her shampoo enveloped me, bringing back a rush of memories from our nights spent studying together.
“I’ll call you,” I whispered, trying to offer some comfort. “Every chance I get. I’ll ask about your classes, about your day.”
“It’s not enough,” she objected, her head tipped down so I couldn’t see her eyes. “I don’t think I can, Jaeyi.”
Her voice cracked on my name, and something in me broke along with it. She reached for my hand and cupped it with hers. Her fingers were cold from the air, but gentle as they traced the lines of my palm.
“I’ll miss you. I’ll want to see you. I can’t — “ The words seemed to get stuck in her throat.
“I know, but it’s all we can do for now. I’m so sorry.”
Seulgi turned her body toward me. I watched her, trying to read the emotions playing across her face. Her lips curved at the edges like she was stopping herself from crying, but there was something else there too: a determination I recognized from all those times she’d stood up for herself at school.
“Jaeyi-yah…” Her voice faltered as her gaze fell on me.
“Oh?”
The wind picked up around us, sending strands of her hair dancing across her face. Without thinking, I reached up to tuck them behind her ear. She caught my wrist before I could pull it away.
She tugged my hand, pulling me towards her then carefully put it down. She slid her hands to both sides of my neck, locking her fingers around my nape. The gesture was tentative yet sure, like she’d thought about this moment as many times as I had.
She studied my face with such intensity that I felt my cheeks warm despite the cold. Her head tilted slightly, eyes asking permission.
My breathing grew heavier as I stare into her eyes, drawn into it, into her, like I’d always been, even when I tried to deny it. My heartbeat pounded against my ears, drowning out the sound of waves crashing against the shore.
And slowly, very very slowly, her face inched toward mine. Time seemed to stretch between us, it felt like forever has passed.
I wasn’t certain what was happening, only that she was approaching me, and I am losing myself in the moment.
My eyes remained wide open, taking in everything about this moment: the gentle caress on my neck, the slight tremble of her lower lip, the way her eyes darted to my mouth and back up.
And then her lips landed on mine, soft and warm and certain. Her breath was hot against my face, tasting faintly of the coffee we’d shared that morning. For a moment, I was too stunned to respond, my mind trying to catch up. Then my eyes fluttered closed, and I kissed her back, gently at first, then with all the longing I’d kept buried for so long.
In that kiss was everything we couldn’t say. It was all our fears and hopes and promises. It was everything.
When we finally pulled apart, her eyes remained closed for a moment longer, as if she’s afraid to open them.
“Jaeyi-yah…”
“Hmm?”
“I’ll always find my way back to you, you know that right?”
I nodded in response with a bitter smile on my face. “I know. I know.”
We sat there for a while, neither of us wanting to be the first to acknowledge that our time was running short.
Later, as we stood beside her car, I wrapped her scarf more securely around her neck, my fingers lingering, yearning for her warmth. She caught my hand and pressed it against her cheek, her eyes closing briefly at the touch.
“I’ll call you,” I reminded her, my thumb brushing softly across her cheekbone. “We’ll talk as much as we can.”
She nodded, leaning into my touch like she was trying to memorize the feeling.
“Be careful driving back,” I whispered, reluctantly dropping my hand. “The roads might be slippery.”
“I will.” She hesitated, then reached for me one last time, pulling me into a tight embrace.
When she finally let go and slipped into the driver’s seat, I had to fight the urge to ask her to stay. Instead, I stepped back and waved at her with a smile on my face, so I could send her off with something happier than tears.
She rolled down the windows, her shoulders dropping as soon as she set her eyes on me. “Call me, okay?”
“You haven’t changed your number?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t thought to check.
Seulgi shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “Why would I when I have been waiting for you to call?”
I laughed. “I’ll call you then.”
As her car pulled away, the snow had stopped, leaving the road blanketed in white. I stood there watching until she disappeared from view, the feel of her lips still on mine.
It would be a long time before we saw each other again. But this time, the separation wasn’t an ending.
It was just the beginning of a different kind of waiting, one filled with hope.