Chapter Text
Nanami had never been able to relate to those parents that were complaining about how time was running away from them. Passing through their hands like sand, unable to hold onto it. How their kids seemed to grow up so fast, it was flashing past their eyes in a blur if they weren't paying enough attention.
For him personally time had been a lazy thing. Slowly crawling forward, leaving him with too much time on his hands and nothing to fill it with, since his life had become so silent and slow.
That was until he checked his calendar one day and suddenly, he could relate. Because suddenly it had been two months since the boys had moved in with him. It felt more like two weeks rather than two months and Nanami wandered aimlessly through the apartment, trying to process the thought.
He walked the hall, something he often did when he needed to sort his mind and savoured the silence of the apartment for once, with the twins still at school. As he passed their room a cloud of stale air hit his nose and Nanami stopped in his step and carefully tapped the door with his foot.
An awful smell of teenage boy hit him, and Nanami clicked his tongue, debating for a moment if he really wanted to put himself through this. Eventually he headed into the room and took in the mess on one side and the less messy opposite side. Nanami had always thought of the cliché of twins being these two sides of a medal, more different than two people could be and at the end of the day still quite the same person. A concept you could only understand when seeing it with your own eyes.
Sukuna's side of the room was cluttered with dirty clothes, used dishes piled on the desk he was supposed to use for homework and the bed was in contrast to Yuji's not made.
Surprised Nanami dug through the last few weeks and tried to pin down a moment when Sukuna and Yuji had stopped sleeping in the same bed. He had never said anything about it, since he knew they needed the comfort of the other one to cope.
Now though they seemed slowly detaching themselves from each other. As an effect from feeling safe with Nanami or just because there were so many new things for both of them to try, Nanami couldn't quite say. He only observed silently, and with a tiny smirk on his lips, how Sukuna was less and less obsessively glued to Yuji's side and how Yuji started to find confidence in himself without using Sukuna as his crutch and back bone.
Nanami fetched the laundry basket, which seemed to only be used by Yuji and started picking up Sukuna's clothes from the floor. He wasn't that surprised and only mildly annoyed as he picked up Sukuna's trousers and clutter like screws, nuts, screwdrivers, cigarette butts and tobacco residue clattered out of the pockets to the ground. Whenever he came back from the repair shop, the rattle of metal against metal was heard from his pockets.
Nanami continued picking up clothes, threw them into the washing machine and headed back for the overflowing trash cans. He pulled out the plastics bags and he shouldn't even be surprised anymore because underneath the crumpled papers, that made a pathetic disguise, the bag was filled with empty cans of energy drinks.
He stopped counting at twenty-five and sat down on Sukuna's bed with a sigh. The kid had looked better the last days than the whole last week, but after two months of growing accustomed to one another Nanami started to see the cracks. He saw the flinching, the careful movement, the exhaustion, the constant napping in weird places, heard the pained hissing sound, the very quiet groans when Sukuna thought no one was listening.
What exactly was wrong, Nanami couldn't say. Sukuna had blocked every and all conversation that just slightly headed into that direction. Even Yuji was tight lipped and unhelpful.
What Nanami was now watching was a teen, clearly in pain regularly, trying to cope and function on nicotine and caffeine alone, stubborn as a fucking three-year-old and unable to accept any help. He couldn't stand to the side and let Sukuna drink and smoke his health away, he didn't want to know what happened when those things weren't enough anymore, and stronger substances would take their place.
Any remotely forceful things ended in chaos when Sukuna was involved. He hated authority like the plague, any slightly parental action was blocked, mocked and casted to the side like a burned down cigarette.
Nanami eyed the trash bag again, then his eyes glanced over Sukuna's nightstand. In the middle of the chaos a mug, reused as an ash tray and rage shot through his veins as he saw which mug it was. The one Haibara had gifted him after they had been freshly married.
He didn't know! Nanami tried to calm himself down. He couldn't have known, since you never talk about it! the more scolding voice, a voice that sounded a lot like his husband's, whispered in his ear and Nanami pushed himself up from the bed and started without a second thought.
He grabbed the mug, the trash bags and came back for a sweep of the room. He found a stash of around eight more energy drinks in the back of Sukuna's closet and two more packets of cigarettes in his nightstand. He kept searching and found a few more of each on Yuji's side of the room, not doubting that Sukuna thought he wouldn't look there.
Hands on his hips, Nanami eyed the room. It was still chaos but after second thought Nanami preferred it this way. The room looked like somebody was living here, somebody used this space. He preferred seeing the clothes on the ground and schoolbooks flying around, crumpled up sheet as indicator someone had slept here.
Five years ago, his apartment had looked just like this, and his thoughts wandered to Haibara. How his husband had always been a bit messy too, cluttering the apartment with his personality and life on every surface and corner and how Nanami had never been annoyed cleaning up after him. How it had not bothered him when he sat down on the sofa, and he had found an abandoned sketch next to him or a half drunken cup of coffee discarded in a random place because Haibara had forgotten about it.
With a dull arching in his chest Nanami realised that Haibara's death day was coming closer. Only a few weeks and his husband had been dead for five years. Five painful lonely years.
Nanami's knees went weak for a moment, and he sat down on Sukuna's messy bed. A memory of Haibara and him setting up the two twin beds after their registration had gone through, almost six years ago.
They had a competition about who could set up their bed faster and the memory of Haibara's smile after Nanami had let him win, was driving a knife through his heart. Memories he had actively shoved away from his mind for years, resurfaced as if he opened the box, broken the seal and whatever crawled out of it too strong to be forced back in.
He remembered how they had fought about the instructions, because it had only contained pictures and instructions in Swedish which were not helping at fucking all.
"How long do you think will it take until we get our first placement?" Haibara had asked as they had finished off the room.
"I don't know but I hope we don't get teenagers. They are exhausting, loud and difficult," Nanami had said with his hands on his hips.
"You are too negative! You only ever look at the bad side," Haibara had complained with a chuckle, while pulling a sheet on one of the beds.
"Tell me the good sides then."
It had taken Haibara a moment to reply. "The most kids that need placements are teenagers because nobody wants them. Everybody always wants those sweet innocent toddlers that don't make any problems. They want kids they can make their own, without any reminder that someone had been there before them. They want kids were nobody will think oh that's odd! when one acts out of line. Teenagers though, are already halfway there to be their own person. They will have more problems, because there was no support they could lean on. Mustn't it be the best feeling in the world to help them become the person they want to be but couldn't?"
"I can't imagine how hard it must be when people don't want you because you were forced to grow up faster than anyone else. When you bring a palette of mental health problems with you, because the adults that were supposed to help you develop were not there. It's no big surprised they turned out the way they did. It's not their fault. And they shouldn't take the fall for something their parents did. Every kid deserves a family," he had said it in that thoughtfulness tone Nanami remembered without fail.
Even if it was said that the first thing you forget about someone was their voice, Nanami always remembered the longing in his husband’s voice during that conversation.
Nanami had hugged Haibara from behind, trying to pull him out of his deep spiralling thoughts. Head laid on Haibara's shoulder Nanami mumbled after a moment, "Yeah ... okay, maybe teenagers wouldn't be that bad."
He remembered too well how many times he had caught Haibara sitting on one of the beds, looking around the room with that soft look in his face, eyes distant as he had probably imagined who could live in this space in a few months or years.
Nanami hadn't noticed that silent tears were running down his face, wetting his cheeks and blurring his sight until he heard the front door being opened and the silence from the past hours was quickly scared away by yelling and swearing. Quickly Nanami dried up his face and stood up from Sukuna's bed, heading out of their room with an arm full of dirty dishes.
The twins were too distracted with their own bickering that they weren't paying Nanami any attention as he passed them and watched how Yuji was grinning into his phone. It only took a moment before Sukuna was throwing a pillow at him, yelling something about a spiky haired idiot and the smile that pulled up on Nanami's face lifted some of the weight from his heart.
Nanami wouldn't lied to himself, he knew Sukuna would notice he went through the room in minutes only and he prepared himself for the fight that was coming.
The door of their room was being banged open minutes after Sukuna had vanished into it. Yuji had headed for the kitchen to finish up his homework.
"Where the fuck is my stuff?" Sukuna yelled, marching towards Nanami who had headed back from putting the dishes away and faced Sukuna in the living room.
"Gone," Nanami said, crossing his arms in front of his chest and stared down on the teen. The deep-rooted exhaustion that always swam in his eyes was still there, surrounded by anger and hot rage. Nanami forced the pity expression off his face as he met the red rimmed eyes of Sukuna, blood vessels blown and irritated. How does his body even function anymore?
"Gone? What the hell does that mean?" Sukuna built himself up in front of Nanami. It might have looked intimidating if Nanami wasn't watching all the tells of how done Sukuna was.
His hands were shaking, eyes flying around restless, his shoulders were hunched as if stretching them out would hurt, he was breathing shallow and fast.
"It means exactly what it sounds like!" his tone was warning, calm but strict and, like it always did, only riled up Sukuna more.
The kid saw red, started yelling profanities Nanami didn't even saw a point in commenting. Sukuna started pacing, cursing and Nanami could see how hard he was fighting to not punch anything or throw something at him. It was an urge Sukuna normally went on without thinking twice.
"Why do you get into business that's not yours to fucking get into, huh?" Sukuna yelled and Nanami, still standing still and watching, started talking again.
"I tried to let you handle this on your own. I tried to talk to you. You refused to listen," Nanami stated, and Sukuna stilled, glaring at him with hot flaming rage of all seven hells. Nanami wasn't impressed. Over the last two months he had become used to the look and Sukuna's rage. "So now, we're doing it my way."
"Your way?" Sukuna spit, venom dripping from his tone, his face turned into a mocking expression.
"Yes, my way. No more money, no more smoking, no energy drinks."
"You act like I'm a fucking addict!"
"Sukuna, you are," Nanami stated, at a loss for words. Did the kid really was so delusional? "You're not just drinking one or two. You're living off them. You're actively killing yourself, and I will not stand by and watch that happen. You have a problem, Sukuna."
"I don't have a problem; I have a solution!" the kid spit back and Nanami raised his eyebrows.
"A solution for what?" It was that moment, a chance for him to open up and explain and Nanami pleaded he would take it. Sukuna stilled again, probably catching up how he tripped himself and landed here. Another glare. Another huff. Biting on his bottom lip and rolling his shoulders again.
The tension was tight. Nanami didn't dare to breath, didn't dare to look away and watched the battle going on inside Sukuna.
"I don't have a problem!" Sukuna grunted and Nanami felt how his shoulders sacked.
"Then we do it this way. You won't talk? Fine. But I will not let you keep doing this to yourself."
Sukuna glared, standing a few feet away from Nanami, anger pulsing off of him in waves.
"If you can't stop yourself, I'll stop you," Sukuna glare became even darker, but Nanami went on, "You don't want my help? You don't trust me? That's fine. But this ends today."
-
The days following their argument were ... tense. Sukuna wouldn't look his direction. He wasn't smoking or sneaking energy drinks into the apartment, but Nanami knew he wasn't stopping completely. He could still smell the cold smoke that clung to his clothes. Could still see his skin buzzing from the caffeine. But he saw signs of withdrawal too and it pained him Sukuna wouldn't let him help.
He kept a pack of headache medication in the bathroom at all times, alongside something for nausea. Whenever Sukuna was laying on the couch in the living room Nanami would hand him a bottle of water. It would be a fight, like everything was with Sukuna these days. He would be even more irritated and short-tempered than he already was, but Nanami kept at it.
Even if this was giving him grey hairs every time Sukuna broke an argument off the fence.
"Sukuna, you're not 'built different', you're dehydrated!"
"You're ruining my life!" the kid would throw at him, while laying on the couch, eyes closed and hands shaking.
"No, I'm saving it!" Nanami replied dryly and handed him an ice pack for his head.
The next time the social worker of the twins called him Nanami was working from home again, pushing paperwork around to avoid doing them and glanced at the clock again and again, waiting to be able to finish up already.
The woman's words I have found a placement in a group home for the boys and I can finally take them off your hands and I appreciate the time you have bought me and I know they are a hand full but you did a great job, she could have poured an Ice bucket over Nanami while sleeping and it would have had the same effect. A sudden realisation washed over him, filling him with dread and unwillingness to continue to listen to her.
He asked her about the group home, maybe asking too many questions for someone who only agreed to watch the boys for a few weeks. Not even watch them, just given them a place to stay.
The social worker woman - which name Nanami didn't even remember so little she had contacted him - was answering his questions with a weird tone. As if she knew what Nanami was doing, and she didn't seem surprised at all as he dismissed the placement and stated that he rather keep the boys a little bit longer until she found a good placement for them.
She accepted his decision without any argument, "Alright. I will contact you as soon as something acceptable turns up."
"No, no wait!" Nanami said and silence filled the line as she waited for him to say something. "Do you know anything about their brother? Choso?" It had been on his mind for quite some time and the only reason he had contact with Geto again, but he had found nothing about the twin's brother, and he knew they were devastated about it.
"Yeah of course, I'm his social worker too," she said.
"Where is he?" Nanami asked, watching the door of his office since there was sudden loud movement in the apartment that was coming towards him.
"Choso is currently accommodated in a home for troubles teens. We had quite the rough start with him after he got out of the hospital. He fought a lot, but he seems to settle down now," she informed him, sounding more casual than she should and Nanami had to take a deep breath. A second later the door to his office was ripped open and Yuji and Sukuna dashed into the room and watched him with big eyes. He met their silent pleading and for the first time he saw something like hope in Sukuna's eyes. They both looked awfully fifteen in that moment.
Fuck.
Nanami bit his cheek and looked down on the desk, detecting movement from the twins out of the corner of his eye who were pressing themselves against his desk now, desperate to hear what the woman was saying about their brother.
"Alright, can I maybe- I don't know, talk ... or meet ...him?" Nanami asked slowly, rolling his eyes as Sukuna started punching Yuji's arm in excitement.
"Yeah sure!" she replied directly with an upbeat tone in her voice, "Does next Tuesday work for you?"
Nanami panicked, met two overly happy teenager boy's faces and couldn't stop himself from replying, "Yeah ... great!"
"Amazing, so it's a date then!"
He yelled at Sukuna and Yuji for not throwing his paperwork around but there was nothing he could do to get them down from the hype train.
I am so utterly fucked.
Tuesday morning arrived faster than Nanami would have liked. The past day's the boys had been asking him none stop about Choso, where he was and when they finally were able to go visit him. If Nanami would have gotten a penny every time one of them asked "But why can't we go visit him now?" Nanami would have enough pennies it would be awkward going to a bank with them. Because really why would anybody have so many pennies?
The only positive thing about this was probably that Sukuna stopped looking like a walking corpse and started talking to Nanami again. His tone was still filled with anger and his temper was as short as ever, but Nanami saw it as progress, nevertheless.
The morning started off stressful since both of the boys were confused why Nanami made them wear their school uniform. His appointment with Choso was already pushing Nanami's nerves and the useless discussion Nanami thought they had finally left behind them didn't help in the slightest.
The car ride to Yuji's school was silent, Nanami was paying aggressive attention to the traffic, knowing a stressed mind was the first thing towards a car accident. Something Haibara had been very particular of, since he had seen it every day on shift.
But now was definitely not the time to think about Haibara, so Nanami went back to concentrating on the cars around them.
"Oh, that's the same way to school!" Sukuna called out after a few silent minutes of driving and Nanami shared a confused look with Yuji. Then understanding shifted to Yuji's face and his weirdly gleeful expression vanished in the moment they locked eyes.
"Yeah funny, same way, what a coincidence," Yuji said, looking out the window now and said nothing else while Sukuna was still in a surprisingly good mood.
As always did Nanami pulled up on Yuji's school first, the teenager practically jumped out of the car before it had completely come to a stop.
"Bye!" he yelled, threw the door shut and hurried over the street towards the entrance of the school.
"What the fuck? What the hell Nanami? This is fucking bullshit! I don't fucking get why this fucker is-" Sukuna started and Nanami stared at the street in front of him.
The last thing he needed right now was a raging fifteen-year-old on his backseat that was getting louder and angrier the second, all while Nanami didn't understand why. The only thing on his mind right now was that he had cancelled work for this and was going to visit Choso, who somehow ended up in the hospital and with no one to take care of his little brothers and was now stuck in a home for troubled teens because he had been fighting his social worker.
Saying Nanami was stressed would be an understatement.
He was stressed to no end because the twins had been driving him up the wall for the past days about this. Staying on top of the Sukuna-addiction-recovery progress was more exhausting that he had ever imagined it to be.
So as Sukuna wouldn't stop throwing curses and swears around in a volume that could nearly deafen Nanami, he finally snapped.
"Sit your ass back down right now!" his fingers were cramping around the steering wheel so tight he clutched the leather as he gave Sukuna a look through the rear-view mirror.
"What the hell is wrong with-"
"Sukuna!" Nanami yelled and turned around to stare at the teen. They locked eyes and Nanami hoped Sukuna would notice how fucking done he was right now and how Sukuna was ripping his nerves into none existence.
And he seemed to understand, because without a word Sukuna sunk back into the seat after a moment of intense staring. Letting out a deep slow breath Nanami turned back around and started up the car.
The few minutes to Sukuna's school were dead silent.
Nanami could sense the anger that came stewing over from the backseat. He stopped in front of the entrance to Sukuna's school.
Nanami gave him another look through the rear-view mirror, Sukuna was meeting his eyes with trouble written all over his face.
"If you're not here when I pick you up, you don't want to know what I'll do next," the words were out without that Nanami was really thinking about what he was saying.
He watched Sukuna, as his face did something weird, but it was gone before Nanami could really identify what it was, and Sukuna got out of the car without another word.
-
As the navigation system lead Nanami to the address the social worker had given him, he had to double check if he really was at the right place.
This Home for Troubled Teens was not something he would describe as a home but more a sad looking concrete block, surrounded by a high metal fence that went all around the building. If Nanami hadn't known any better, he would have guessed they kept convicts here.
Something that maybe wanted to be a basketball court was to the left of the building, but the ground was littered with broken concrete blocks. One of the pillars was completely crooked to one side and the other one had no hoop to throw a ball through.
A big open space that maybe, when generous, could be described as a schoolyard housed four tennis tables but all of them were missing the metal fence in the middle to separate the two halves’, to actually play table tennis.
With clammy hands Nanami rung the bell on the outside of the metal fence and he was buzzed in a moment later. The door fell shut loudly behind him and the fence rattled from the force. He was buzzed in at the front door too and Nanami saw the electronical lock system he knew from his workplace. Only people with an electronical key could open those doors.
In the little entrance hall, he was met with a woman behind a thick glass pane, asking him what he was here for and if he had an appointment. He had to fill out a form and identify himself, it all felt more like he was checking into prison than into a facility that dealt with kids.
Nanami was told to sit and wait, and he did just that. Sitting and waiting while stewing in his thoughts thinking about what kind of person Choso was and how this whole thing could go down potentially.
It only took a few moments until the twin's social worker was coming down the stairs and welcomed him. She was not wasting much time on pleasantries, not asking about the twins and only waved him to follow her.
The edges of the concrete stairs were smoothed out, so often people seemed to walk up and down here. At the top Nanami could look through the glass panel of the door opposite from the stairs. The sight was disturbing at first glance and worrisome on the second.
A massive room was filled to the brim with rows and rows of bunk beds pressed up against each other. There was no space for closets or desks, or other furniture and the room was bursting with teenagers. Many of them were sitting on each other's beds, others were standing in circles around the bunks. He could snatch a glimpse of what looked like some fighting at the very end of the room. The smell of cold cigarette smoke was lingering in the air, mixed itself with the smell of too many teenager boys in one room that hadn't been aired in the past hours.
The door with the glass panel was not very sound isolated and Nanami could hear the volume of the room while passing it. The boys were loud - yelling, screaming, laughing and if he picked it out right from all the noise, there were even a few crying out for someone.
They passed the sleeping room and he followed the social worker down the tiny hall. The next door on his right was open and throwing a glance into it the room seemed to be a really sad community room. But the room lacked its community since they were no kids inside and a thin layer of dust had settled down on everything.
The social worker led him to the only other room on the hall, an even sadder looking visiting room. He was told to wait again while she was grabbing Choso.
Nanami sat down at the only table in the middle of the room and looked around to pass the time. The only other furniture in the room was a bookcase with only three books in it. One was a thick, old looking atlas, one a dictionary and the last one a bible and even from this distance Nanami could see that there were a lot of pages missing.
Nanami didn't have to ask himself why those pages were missing. His friendship with Gojo during High School years had taught him that those thin bible pages were excellent for rolling cigarettes and joints.
Nanami's nerves were running up the walls the longer he waited and the more time he had to worry about the talk that lay in front of him. He hadn't asked the twins about Choso, the way they were looking whenever the name came up made it was clear that they adored their older brother. What Nanami was the most worried about was Choso's attitude, Sukuna's anger problems had to come from somewhere and it wasn't that far off that maybe he had learned that behaviour from his older brother.
The door was creaking like it wasn't used very often as the social worker re-entered the room, a teenager following on her step. Nanami stood up from his chair and nervously looked over Choso.
He was supposed to be seventeen, but he looked way older, like Sukuna did. His longer jet-black hair was tied up in a messy bun and Nanami couldn't decide if it only looked messy or was actually a bit matted. The dark, nearly purple eye bags under his eyes told long stories about sleepless nights and the black beam that seemed to be tattooed over the bridge of his nose, was in strong context to his pale skin.
Nanami reached out his hand to Choso to greet him, but the teenagers only looked him up and down with a defensive look and sat down on the opposite side of the table. The clothes he wore were far too big for him and hung down his bony shoulders like rags. There was scrap over his knuckles and his fingernail were dirty, the skin ripped so much there were bloody patched next to his nails.
Nanami cleared his throat, pulled his hand back and sat back down on the chair opposite of Choso. Before either of them could say a word, the social worker's phone rung and she excused herself out of the room and closed the door behind her.
Nanami panicked slightly but tried to get his nerves under control. This was a teenager; he was an adult! Calm the fuck down!
"Nice to meet you I'm Nanami Kento, I'm fostering your brothers right now," Nanami started the conversation, took off his tinted glasses and placed his hands on the table trying to look casual.
"Where are they?" Choso only asked, arms crossed in front of his chest while he was still observing Nanami closely like Sukuna had the entire first weeks. He had hidden his hands and knuckles away and Nanami redirected his eyes back to Choso's face.
"The Twins? At school," Nanami answered confused. Where else should they be?
"Ah." was Choso's comment and uncomfortable silence was falling between them. The teen was fixing his eyes on Nanami's glasses, before his look wandered over Nanami's hands and up to his shoulders until he finally reached his face.
Nanami cleared his throat uncomfortable and gestured to the room, "So ... nice place."
Choso clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes annoyed and Nanami couldn't ignore how Sukuna did it exactly the same way. "No, it's not," the teen stated with venom dripping from his tone. He couldn't really blame him for it.
"No, it's not," Nanami said with a sigh, this place was a shit hole and there was no point in trying to talk it better than it was.
Silence filled the room again and Choso's leg was starting to bounce up and down while he was staring into Nanami's eyes now as if he could look right into his soul.
This time Choso was the one who broke the silence, "Is Sukuna really going to school?"
"I drop him off in the morning and pick him up afterwards, so technically he is going," Nanami explained with a tense chuckle. Talking about the twins was easy and it was probably something Choso wanted to know.
"Is he participating?" Choso asked with an unbelievable expression on face, leaning slightly forward.
"No, that's too much to ask, he-" Nanami's phone cut into his sentence and he quickly pulled it out to swipe away the call. But the caller ID was someone familiar, too familiar at this point and he looked up at Choso with an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry I have to take this, speaking of the devil this is his school," Choso only leaned back against the backrest of his chair as Nanami stood up and left the room to take the call.
Listening to the principal explain the situation, he wished he hadn't taken the call in the first place and leaned against the wall with a defeated sigh and nodded off what the man was saying.
The call only lasted a few minutes and Nanami headed back to Choso with the words, "So, Sukuna got himself suspended for a week."
"Yeah, that sounds more like him, what did he do?" Choso asked and his stoic expression softened as bit as he talked about his little trouble-brother.
"He smoked inside the school again. We're having this smoking conversation for weeks now and he's just being a little bi- he's being stubborn about it," Nanami cut himself off and Choso had to laugh out loud because of Nanami's slip of words.
"Yeah sorry, I never should have picked up that shit," Choso apologised, and he loosened his arms from his chest and laid them down on the table.
"How did you get the cigarettes? You're still a minor?" Nanami asked confused and sat back down at the table, far more relaxed than five minutes ago.
"Well, we had this neighbour who had an imaginary dog, and he would buy me cigarettes now and then," Choso explained a bit hesitant.
"Did Sukuna really petted the air?" Nanami asked curiously, he had wondered about this story for some time now.
Choso raised his eyebrows in surprise and his posture became a bit more loose too as he said, "Yeah he did. He told you about that?"
"Unfortunately," Nanami replied, he thought back to the conversation about Sukuna's school friend Yuta. He hadn't heard about that boy since and Nanami wondered about the reason for a moment. It had sounded like Sukuna and Yuta had become quite good friends.
"I tried making him stop doing that, but he wouldn't listen to me. He always said it would make the man happy. He was a lot more like Yuji when he was younger, now Ryo is ... a special snowflake," Choso chuckled, and his eyes became all soft and distant as he probably thought about them.
"Ryo?" Nanami asked interested, leaned forward again, propped his elbows on the table and Choso suddenly tensed.
"Ah ... yeah, I mean Sukuna, he .... it's his first name, Ryomen I mean," he stumbled over his words and Nanami kept his expression open and waited, hoping to get more out of Choso.
"I thought Sukuna was his first name," Nanami only stated, hoping it was enough to keep Choso talking.
"Nah. A few years ago, he kept insisting that we start calling him Sukuna instead of Ryomen. He claimed some dumb ass reason I don't even remember anymore, but I'm pretty sure he just thinks his first name was dumb and childish. He was being so annoying about it; Yuji and I went with it. They didn't tell you?" Choso asked confused.
Nanami huffed and swiped his hair back from his forehead, "The twins don't tell me very much about anything personal. They are still quite closed off, but we are getting there. Slowly but steady I would say. Very slowly," Nanami stated, thinking of all the times he had tried asking them about the past and how every time they had frozen up or deflected.
"Ah, yeah makes sense," Choso said, his tone flat and he looked down on the tabletop. "Not even the social workers told you?" Choso asked then.
"The social worker is more than incompetent, she told me hardly anything," Nanami said, throwing a glance towards the door wondering if she would ever come back from that phone call.
"Yeah, she is, they all have a lot to deal with. A lot of kids, many of them don't really care," Choso said as he looked past Nanami distantly and played with the raggy sleeves of his too big shirt.
Silence settled over them again and Nanami observed Choso. How the teen was getting twitchy, fiddling with his sleeves and bouncing his leg again, swiping strains of black hair out of his face.
"How did you even end up with that neighbour anyways?" Nanami decided on asking. He had so many more question, but it wouldn't be fair asking Choso for personal things about the twins they obviously didn't want to talk about with Nanami.
Choso stared Nanami down again, sized him up and Nanami saw how the teen debated with himself on what to share with the unfamiliar adult. He slowly started telling Nanami about their grandpa who had taken them in as their mother had died giving birth to the twins. Their father had died two years later.
"The doctors told us he had a weak heart, but I think he died of grief. After mum died ... he was different. As if every day was agony, but I was like ... four at the time so ... I didn't really understand," Choso faded off, scratching and picking at the skin around his nails again. Nanami had a knot in his throat, thinking panicked about what to tell this kid but Choso kept on talking before Nanami could come up with any words.
"Our grandpa though? He took us in - was my dad's dad - he was kinda rude all the time? But he only wanted the best for us. I know he loved the twins, but he was shitty in articulating his feelings. So, I tried my best to translate his swears and curses into more age-appropriate language. Didn't work that well though, I'm pretty sure that's were Sukuna got his dirty mouth from," Choso chuckled, a distant smile on his face as he thought about his grandpa and Nanami gave him a soft smile back.
Their grandpa had died when the twins had turned ten and Choso had been twelve.
"He died in the hospital; some social workers picked us up from there as soon as he was admitted. They called us a few days later, we didn't even have the chance to see him again. Apparently, he had tried calling us but nobody at the hospital had the number of the place where we had been staying or the one of our social workers. We've been in the system since," Choso explained, and it sounded like he would tell the story of someone else. Someone he didn't have any connection too. He was too distant, too pragmatic and Nanami wanted to hug him very badly as hurt flashed through the teen’s eyes for a second.
"I'm so sorry Choso, that must've been hard," Nanami said instead, fighting the desire to take Choso's fidgeting hands into his from across the table.
"The placements were harder. They ... they fucked up Sukuna big time, Yuji too, that's why.... he has those night terrors?" Choso asked and Nanami only nodded. "Yea he has those and- and Ryo- I mean Sukuna is- well you know how he is. He wasn't always ... this one placement was a shit hole, and I wasn't- ... it was bad," Choso stumbled through his words and Nanami listened. Trying to give silent support. How much he wished he had Haibara by his side to tell him what to say to this.
"So yeah- sorry this was a lot," Choso said, his whole defensive demeanour from an hour ago gone now, leaving Nanami with this shadow of a kid.
"It's alright, thank you for tell me all of this, for trusting me," Nanami settled on saying, not knowing if it was the right thing to say.
Choso looked up to Nanami again and took a deep breath, before he rubbed his eyes forcefully.
"So when can I see them? Or can I see them? The twins I mean. I would very much like to see them. Please?" Choso mumbled out a little bit shy and Nanami's chest squeezed itself together from how tight these brothers must've been before they were ripped apart.
"Yeah, sure thing. I'll bring them next time," and his words brought the first real smile onto Choso's face.
I am so utterly fucked!
Choso waved Nanami goodbye from the window of the visiting room since he wasn't allowed to follow Nanami outside. The social worker was nowhere to be seen again and Nanami only made another appointment with the women behind the glass in the entrance hall to bring the twins.
Sitting in the car again and finally letting all that tension go, Nanami was dead tired. He needed to pick Sukuna up next and deal with his suspension again.
With a probably forced expression on his face Nanami head into the school, collected Sukuna from the principal’s office, made another round of damage control talk and was twenty minutes later on the way back home with a sulking teenager on the backseat.
The entire ride was silent and Nanami neither had the brain nor the nerves to deal with this yet. Choso and their story was still on his mind. What he had said about the placement being hard, how they had fucked up Yuji and Sukuna. Nanami's head was spinning with this new information, and he had more question than before.
Sukuna though seemed to understand his silence in a completely different manner and as they got into the apartment and already headed for his room to take a very needed nap, Sukuna yelled "Well, DO SOMETHING!"
Nanami turned back to the teenager confused, who was standing in the middle of the apartment, guarded and defensive like he had been in the first week.
"Do what?" Nanami asked, his tone maybe a tad too annoyed but the man was tired.
"You wanted to do something to me! So do something! Don't wait it out it's driving me nuts!" Sukuna yelled. Nanami took a step towards the teen and Sukuna jerked away from him. That tiny reaction jerked Nanami out of his exhaustion right away.
"What did you thought I would do? Hit you?" he asked confused, and Sukuna only glared.
"Sounded like it." he snapped then and Nanami pinched his nose.
"Sukuna, we talked about this," Nanami started, dragging a hand through his hair, "No violence in this house. Not me, not you, never. I would never hit a kid. I would never hit anyone! Well maybe Gojo, but that doesn't matter right now. I need to lay down. You're grounded because of the smoking at school shit but we're talking about that later!"
Sukuna stared at Nanami without saying a word and Nanami waited a moment longer, to see if there was anything he needed to add but as the silence continued, he only nodded and finally reached his room to lay down.
He kicked his shoes off and fell down into his pillows, staring at the ceiling. His mind was processing everything he had learned today.
Choso was completely different than Nanami had anticipated. Choso was in a shitty placement without any support that he seemed to desperately need. Choso cared a lot about his little brothers. Choso was only a god damn kid himself.
Every kid deserves a family! Fucking damn it Haibara!
A very light knock ripped him out of it, a carefully whispered, "Nanami?" shook him out of the light sleep he had found himself in and Nanami slowly cracked one eye open and saw Yuji standing and waiting in his doorframe.
"I really don't want to interrupt, but could you drive me to soccer practice?" Yuji asked, still whispering and making himself small.
"Since when are you home, we only have ...." Nanami shock his shirt away from his wrist to look at his watch, "Quarter past four? You have soccer practice!" Nanami called out and pushed himself off the bed too fast that his circulation was kicking him in the ass, and he needed to slow down for a moment.
Later in the car Yuji broke the silence with, "Choso isn't dead, is he?"
It took a few moments until the words were reaching Nanami's brain, "He ... what? No, of course not! Why would you think that?"
"Well Sukuna was acting weird, and you were acting weird! What was I supposed to think?"
"And death was the first thing that came to your mind?" Nanami asked unbelieving while trying to keep concentrating on the traffic.
"I don' know. It's a cruel world!" Yuji said and Nanami only sighed deeply. Fucking teenagers. He hadn't been this tired in a long time.
As Nanami parked the car Yuji was out and on his way a moment later, joining his friends for soccer practice and Nanami was following behind him like a damn zombie. Autumn was giving them wet days with cold winds, less sunlight every day and Nanami wondered where the kids took the energy to go to practice during these temperatures.
As he headed for the booths with the seats Nanami made out a very familiar white head of hair from the distance and his day was just getting longer and longer. He thought about heading back to the car and waiting inside to avoid Gojo, but the man had already seen him and was waving like an idiot.
Nanami slowly headed over to Gojo.
"KENTO!" the man called out with far too much glee and energy.
"Satoru." Nanami replied with a short nod.
"Aww still Satoru hu? We know each other since High School and it’s still Satoru? You really hurt my feelings Kento!" Gojo said dramatically like he always did. Fucking Drama Queen!
"You have feelings?" Nanami decided on shooting back tiredly and Gojo clutched a hand to his heart, playing hurt before he reached out and pressed a second coffee in Nanami's hand.
"Here, you look like a dead person on legs," Gojo stated, fixing his tinted glasses.
"And I feel like one too," Nanami replied, taking the coffee and warming his hand on the hot paper cup.
"Ah," Gojo said immediately uncomfortable because ever since Nanami knew him he had always been uncomfortable with displayed emotions that weren't his own or the ones of his husband. But Gojo had seemed to finally grow up a bit because after a beat of silence he asked, "So what happened?"
"I apparently have kids now. Two kids. Twins even. There were supposed to stay for two weeks but it's like two months now and ... I was okay with it but today... heaven help me, today I meet the third one, their big brother, because two apparently wasn't enough and of course he told me all about their terrible depressive childhood and if that wouldn't be enough, I get a call from the school and one of them is suspended! Again! Because he smoked! In the fucking school! He is fifteen Gojo!" Nanami ranted before he could stop himself.
"Aww you called me Gojo!"
Nanami snapped again. "Shut the fuck up and concentrate! Didn't Geto teach you any social skills?"
"Nah he divorced me instead." Gojo's tone was way too flat and emotionless for that particular topic.
"Oh ... sorry. I forgot that happened," Nanami bit his cheek, not knowing what to say further. Gojo had never needed any damn emotional support. Nanami was damn shitty at emotional support.
"Yeah ... but your life sounds way worse right now, so keep talking."
"Shit yes ... I don't really know how to keep going. Haibara would, this would be his dream, and I can't even handle it. I can't even do that for him," Nanami watched how the kids ran around the big soccer court and the heavy sadness from a few days ago knocked against his door again.
"You're doing great, you know?" Gojo said, his tone weirdly serious, "Parenting is hard, I only have one and I know him his entire life and I still feel like you sometimes. You're still human. It's fine to struggle - just don't give up now. I met Yuji, he is amazing, and he talks about you a lot so you're doing something right!" Gojo said quietly while not looking at Nanami.
A small fragile smile was pulling on Nanami's lips.
"I didn't know you could be like that," he said and Gojo chuckled.
"Like what?"
"An Adult."
Gojo huffed disgusted as he argued, "Please don't. Stop that! That's disgusting!"
Now Nanami clicked his tongue and looked back at the kids, "And the moment is gone, you ruined it!" he joked. Feeling a little bit lighter than ten minutes ago.