Chapter Text
He turned one and twenty.
He was now older than he ever thought he was going to be, and Aegon felt grateful for that. Every day felt like a gift, no matter how much pain he had to endure to get through it.
Perhaps it was because Aegon knew his time was running out. In the span of the last six years, Daemon had to give him blood two more times, the last transfusion taking a great toll on him. Daemon had been sick for three days straight after that.
Aegon felt so guilty.
It is not your fault, child. He volunteered to help you.
Aegon understood that logically, but… he still felt like he was responsible. Daemon's blood overcame the poison as the third day passed…
Valyrian blood always prevails.
…but it was very clear that Daemon wouldn't be able to help Aegon anymore. Not for a long while, perhaps, not ever. And Aegon knew that was it.
He could ask others for blood, of course, but Aegon did not wish to do so. The last thing he wanted was to be a burden to his family. And well, it would be just delaying the inevitable, wouldn't it?
So Aegon focused his energy on making peace with his fate instead. If he only had a short life to live, then he would live it fully.
So he gambled, and killed, and fucked, and drank way too much. He laughed, and danced, and bled himself if not to buy more time than at least to ease the pain. When Rhaenyra asked how he was, he said, ‘Never better.’ He spent hours on his book, hoping to finish it before the poison in his veins brought him to the Afterlife. He wore everything Helaena embroidered for him and complimented her work to others every chance he got. He trained with Daemon. He barely slept. He teased Aemond and Luke mercilessly because they were so obviously into each other that it was hilarious. He took Rhaena to King's Landing every time she wished to visit a local shop. He played a responsible adult (or at least he tried) every time Daeron talked him into taking him gambling. He slept way too much. He taught Joffrey how to read. He taught Jace how to cheat at cards. He learnt how to hold babies just the right way when Rhaegar and Maegor - Rhaenyra and Daemon's twins - were born. He took Baela on his murder sprees and raced her on their dragons, and it was usually the highlight of his week.
He lived.
And lived.
And lived.
And stumbled.
Painfully so. Unavoidably so.
He cut himself too deeply sometimes. He might not have noticed it at that moment, only later when those cuts started to hurt and refused to heal. He would bleed through his shirts and sometimes accidentally leave bloody stains on furniture. Baela caught him once and forced him to sit still while she bandaged his cuts.
‘It’s not necessary, really,’ he tried to talk his way out of it. ‘They will heal soon enough.’
Baela was having none of that. ‘We don’t want them to get infected, do we?’ she said then, and Aegon decided it was best to comply. She could be quite scary when she was displeased.
Blood Hound.
He lost consciousness on top of Sunfyre a few times. It might have been alcohol. Or exhaustion. Or the small amount of blood left in his veins. Or all three.
Aegon never told anyone about it because he knew what they would say. That it was dangerous. That he could have easily fallen to his death. Aegon knew that.
But not like he could have done anything about it.
He also got alcohol poisoning once. It was right before Daemon gave him blood for the last time. The poison in his veins was burning hotter and hotter with each passing day, and Aegon just wished to escape the pain. To drown his mind in an oblivion. Just for a little while. So he drank, and drank, and drank until he couldn't anymore, and then he drank some more.
Aegon didn't remember much of what transpired later. It was all hazy and unfocused, his mind jumping from pain to nothingness, consciousness to unconsciousness. Someone found him then. He heard Jace's voice but couldn't decipher the words, and then someone lifted him from the floor. He had tripped in the corridor on his way to his room, fallen, and didn't have the strength to get up, so he just lay there. Waiting for it to end in one way or another.
It was a blur of faces, and voices, and hands after that. Someone dragged him to his room. Someone changed his clothes. Someone - Aegon was pretty sure it was Luke - held his hair while he threw up. Or maybe it was Helaena. He wasn't sure how many times he threw up that night until his stomach was empty, so maybe it was both. Someone cleaned him up.
‘Would you cooperate just a bit?!’ Baela's voice exclaimed.
Aegon remembered his body falling back onto the bed, his limbs out of his control.
‘I'm pretty sure that's a “no”,’ Jace's voice pointed out.
Finally, his body was positioned right on the bed and put under the covers, and Aegon remembered suddenly feeling so scared. And lost. And alone. He didn’t know where it came from, but he was on the brink of consciousness, still in pain, and he just wanted to cry. So he just grabbed blindly, managing to catch someone’s hand, and begged not to leave him alone. His vision was blurring and swimming, and he couldn't see properly, and he was so, so scared.
And then he felt someone climbing into his bed, a hand in his hair, and Rhaena's gentle voice singing him a lullaby. She had such a nice voice, but that night it was nothing short of magical. It followed Aegon as he fell into the blissful state of unconsciousness and scared away the nightmares.
He woke up a long while later, sweaty and confused. His head pounded with hangover and even though it sucked, it distracted him from the poison in his veins. He opened his eyes and saw Baela slumped in one of his armchairs that Aegon could swear hadn't stood near his bed before. She was sleeping, a book half-opened in her arms.
She stayed the night to make sure you were alright. Isn't it so ridiculously sweet?
Perhaps it was but Aegon couldn't really think about that because he felt so fucking emberassed. He never intended for anyone to see him like that. He tried to apologize, but no one wanted to hear about it.
‘Look, I get it… or well, I might not get it, but- what I'm saying is that you shouldn’t apologize,’ Jace told him.
‘I did not mind,’ Helaena said.
‘Perhaps next time, do not drink something you drank last night? It couldn't have tasted good with how bad you smelled,’ Luke pointed out. And well, he did have a point.
‘Just shut up, will you?’ Baela pushed him in the shoulder and then added a bit reluctantly, ‘It's the least we could do.’
‘You know, it was good practice for when I am a mother,’ Rhaena smiled. ‘You are quite an appreciative audience, too.’
A few days after that, he accidentally cut himself at the dinner table, and the drops of his blood burned halfway through the wood, so Daemon decided to give him blood again, and then fell ill for three days.
All in all, Aegon knew that his family didn't hold his situation against him. But he also knew that he couldn't in good conscience keep subjecting them to it. He needed a plan.
Ugh, I don't like where this is going.
If Aegon was destined to see the flames of the Afterlife early, at least he could go out on his own terms.
***
Aegon threw open the doors and hastily walked into the room. The doors hit the walls with a bang.
‘Don't do that,’ Helaena scolded. She was sitting on her sofa with Rhaena, and they were embroidering something.
‘Sorry,’ Aegon immediately apologized and then asked, ‘Is Baela here?’
Rhaena smiled and said, ‘No, why would she be?’
Oh, Baela was definitely somewhere in that room.
‘No reason,’ Aegon smiled back, even though everyone knew they just blatantly lied to each other. It was part of the fun. ‘What are you working on?’ he asked, curiously strolling towards the girls.
‘A handkerchief for Jace,’ Helaena showed him her work as he leaned on the back of the sofa with his elbows.
‘That’s nice,’ Aegon praised and then turned his head to Rhaena, ‘And you?’
‘I will tell you when I figure it out,’ Rhaena answered, rotating a piece of cloth in her hands. Her embroidering was decent when she put her mind to it, but she seemed to enjoy the process itself more than the end result. ‘I might just throw it away.’
‘Nuh-uh, don’t do that,’ Gwayne's voice sounded, and Aegon realized that Gwayne was sitting at the opposite side of the room in an armchair with an open book in his hands. ‘That’s good fabric. I can take it off your hands.’
‘Why?’ Rhaena asked.
‘Athelstan got into making these… cloth dolls, you know,’ Gwayne made a few vague movements with his hands. ‘Doesn't bring us much money, but well, he likes it.’
‘I'm paying you enough to support both of you and then some,’ Aegon pointed out.
‘Yeah, that’s why Athelstan can keep making those dolls,’ Gwayne chuckled and then added, ‘Some scare the shit out of me at night.’
‘Maybe he will make one for me then?’ Rhaena asked.
‘Sure, I'll tell him. He will be more than happy,’ Gwayne said and then looked back at the book, ‘Shall I continue?’
Helaena smiled, ‘Yes, please.’
As Gwayne started to read out loud again, Aegon walked slowly around the room. It was no wonder Gwayne loved being their guard. Aegon did not need much protection, so Gwayne spent most of his time with Helaena, and she was very easy to watch over. She loved her routines and avoided public places, and if Gwayne had to pretend he was not there every time Jace visited her… well, that was not tricky either. The castle walls had many interesting patterns he could stare at, after all.
Aegon checked behind the curtains just in case, but he knew it was too easy a place to hide. He took a deep breath. He could smell Baela's blood in that room. He just had to…
Suddenly, the doors of the wardrobe flew open, and Baela jumped out of there, rushing towards the door. Gladly, Aegon had very good reflexes, so he rushed after her, jumping and intercepting her escape. Both of them stumbled and fell to the floor. Aegon tried to get a hold of… well, something. An arm, a leg, a strand of hair, a fabric of her clothes to keep her in place. Baela kicked him in the knee, making him lose balance. He grabbed at her belt. She kicked him in the mouth. He somewhat pinned her to the ground with his leg.
‘...kill each other,’ Aegon heard the end of Gwayne's sentence before Helaena said, ‘Enough, you two, you are interrupting our reading time.’
Aegon and Baela looked at each other. She was on the floor, her hair and clothes a mess. Aegon was halfway on top of her, his lip split and one of his boots missing. Both of them took a deep breath and burst out laughing. Aegon let go of her and fell on the floor beside her.
‘We should have let them keep playing,’ Rhaena said. ‘Baela had a decent chance of getting away.’
Gwayne huffed, ‘I still cannot fathom how this is playing.’
Rhaena smiled, ‘They are Blood Hounds, Gwayne. They are different.’
Aegon turned his head to see Baela trying to catch her breath. He was stronger than her, but she was faster, and they had quite a lot of fun chasing each other all over Dragonstone Castle. Outside, too, sometimes, but dirt tended to mess up their hair pretty badly, so inside was a more comfortable option.
‘I hit you pretty good,’ Baela pointed at the corner of his mouth.
Aegon pursed his lips. It stung a bit. Oh well, it wasn’t the first time either of them earned a minor injury. It was part of the fun.
‘Here, let me…’ Baela said, and before he could stop her, she reached out and wiped his blood from the corner of his mouth with her thumb.
A second later, she let out a painful hiss.
Aegon immediately used his hand to wipe the blood from her thumb away as he said, ‘Don't do that.’
His blood was poisonous. And it was only getting worse. With Baela being Blood Hound, she must have been able to sense it too.
‘Does it hurt now?’ Baela asked quietly.
‘It always hurts,’ Aegon answered before clearing his throat, sitting up, and putting one of his boots back on his foot. He did not wish to talk about it. He did not want others to pity him. He knew they did anyway, but he preferred not to see it.
‘Here,’ Helaena offered him a handkerchief, and Aegon took it without a second thought, wiping out the blood from his mouth because it started to tingle uncomfortably on his skin.
‘Thank you,’ he said and then looked at the blood-stained handkerchief. It had a “J” letter on it. ‘Wait, isn't it for Jace?’
‘I don't like how it turned out. You can have it, I'll make him another one,’ Helaena informed.
Aegon snorted, ‘Thanks.’
He got up and then offered his hand to Baela. She made a show of considering it and then finally took his hand, allowing him to pull her up.
The doors opened. ‘Lady Rhaena, your ride is here,’ Luke declared more pompously than was necessary and dramatically gestured at Aemond, who walked in right behind him.
‘Yay!’ Rhaena exclaimed, throwing her unfinished project at Gwayne, who almost fell out of the armchair to catch it. ‘Give me a few minutes.’
Despite Aemond promising only one ride to Rhaena back at Driftmark, it became a recurrent thing. Rhaena's dragon, Morning, was still young, and it would take a while for her to grow up enough to support Rhaena's weight. However, Rhaena loved flying, so she took any opportunity to go for a ride. Aemond, Baela, and he indulged her quite a lot. Daemon did too. And even Rhaenyra, but only when she wasn’t pregnant, so it would be safe for both of them.
‘Good to see you, brother,’ Aegon smiled and gave his brother a short but tight hug. He smelled… very much of Luke. That brought a smirk to Aegon's face. ‘I believe Rhaena is not the only one you’ve taken for a ride today.’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Aemond immediately said. Luke's face turned an interesting shade of red. Aegon raised an eyebrow. ‘You are very annoying, do you know that?’
Aegon's smile widened, ‘I do, yeah.’
They are such an adorable couple.
He definitely wouldn't argue with Meleys on that point.
I shall bless them with heirs. Oh, their children will be so precious!
Rhaena snorted. Loudly. She must have heard it too, but decided not to say anything so as not to embarrass them.
Aegon had no such reservations.
‘Meleys says she will make sure you two have a bunch of children.’
Luke's eyes widened. Aemond made a tactical step to the side. They looked at each other. ‘Well…’ Luke said slowly. ‘I'll be Lord of Driftmark one day, I do need heirs.’
Aemond grumbled something intelligible, but it was not a “no”, so Aegon had faith that they would figure it out. ‘Can any of you- um- tell her “thank you”?’ Luke asked, looking between Aegon and Rhaena.
Sharp-tongued Raven.
A ward of Vermax, God of travel and trade. No wonder Luke was quite so… diplomatic.
They are very welcome.
‘She says you are welcome,’ Rhaena smiled, putting a light jacket on. ‘Alright, I'm ready.’
Baela was perched on the side of the sofa, so Aegon stalked towards her as unsuspiciously as he could, then pinched her arm and ran right out of the open doors.
He knew she was following.
After a few turns and a few flights of stairs, he ran into the room with the Painted Table. Jace seemed to be in the middle of his lesson with Maester Gerardys while Rhaenyra and Daemon sat in the armchairs near the fire. Rhaegar and Maegor were playing with Elinda on the floor, surrounded by their toys. Joffrey was nowhere to be seen, but perhaps he was having lessons in the library. Aegon would have tried to hide there, but Baela knew it was his favourite spot, so it was not wise.
‘Hey, Aegon,’ Jace called, and Aegon slowed down. He could spare a few more seconds, he supposed.
‘Yes?’
‘We've seen Aemond and Daeron arrive.’
Aegon raised an eyebrow, ‘Daeron is here?’
‘I… think. Tessarion [the dragon] is definitely here. I haven't seen Daeron himself, though,’ Jace said.
‘He is probably already busy stripping people out of their money,’ Daemon said and then added, ‘Or clothes.’
Daeron was a terrifyingly good gambler.
Burgundy Chaos.
It was almost impossible to win in a game when Daeron was playing it, or win a bet with him if its result didn't depend purely on chance. That was why Aegon never gambled with him. He knew better. And besides, Aegon was pretty damn sure Syrax was rigging games for her ward.
His luck never runs dry, but you’re welcome to try.
Ha, no, thank you. Aegon preferred his dignity intact.
‘Will I get another scolding letter from your mother that I'll have to ignore?’ Rhaenyra sighed, rubbing her forehead. Ever since Daeron's dragon had taken to wing, he kept sneaking out to Dragonstone and then staying a while. And if Aemond visited occasionally, Daeron might have as well lived there. Honestly, Aegon sometimes saw him more frequently than he saw Jace.
Alicent did not like that one bit.
‘Probably, yeah,’ Aegon said and then added, ‘Sorry?’
Rhaenyra waved him off, ‘Don't be sorry, I don't read her letters anyway.’
Aegon smirked and turned, sensing Baela approaching the room. As soon as she entered, she rushed towards him. Aegon grabbed Jace by the shoulders and said, ‘I'll make it up to you?’
Jace blinked, ‘Make what up?’
A second later, he spun Jace in place, pushing him at Baela, and then took off. The last thing he heard as he turned the corner was the sound of stumbling and Daemon's laughter.
Aegon ran higher, jumping a few steps and trying to get to the eastern part of the castle. They mostly lived in the western part, so the eastern part was a bit of an unknown territory, and it should be an easier place to hide.
Or so Aegon thought.
Just as he turned a corner, Baela jumped at him from the side and made them both stumble to the floor. She definitely knew some sort of shortcut.
Aegon tried to push her off and roll over, but Baela wasn't shy and put all of her weight into it. They stumbled a little, earning some new bruises, but eventually Aegon ended up flat on his back with Baela towering over him and pinning his arms to the floor.
‘Got you,’ she smiled triumphantly. Aegon took a weird sense of pride in losing fair and square. Granted, he wasn't as quick to hit Baela as she was to hit him, but mostly because he knew he was relatively strong and did not wish to give her too many bruises. Especially on her face.
He liked her face.
But Baela also went easy on him when it came to chasing. She preferred to hide instead of just running around, so Aegon had a decent chance to actually catch her.
She was way faster than him.
The realization came suddenly, hitting Aegon like a bag of bricks. Baela was sitting on top of him, and he was… hard. Obviously, unmistakably hard.
Gods, she must have felt it too. She put all her weight on him in just the wrong (or right?) place, and she was wearing a dress, so she definitely felt it. As a side note, Aegon was pretty fucking impressed that she was able to chase him so easily while wearing dress but that thought came and went, his mind focusing on a more pressing problem.
To Aegon's defence, he did not mean it. It just sort of… happened. And well… he did like Baela, didn’t he? And not only physically. He loved to spend time with her. She was bossy, and funny, and smart, and so undeniably hot.
If his days weren't numbered, he might have courted her. He might have wanted to pursue this “what if”. But his days were numbered, so he never did.
Aegon was pretty sure his face turned the same shade of red as Luke's when he teased him about Aemond as he tried to climb out of Baela's grasp. Usually, sex didn't scare him. Gods know, he fucked a lot in the recent years. But it was with whores and occasional strangers. They didn't matter.
Baela did.
She pushed him harder to the floor, obviously not trying to spare him the embarrassment, ‘You are not going anywhere.’
Aegon barely suppressed a moan as she pushed harder with her body, trying to keep him in place. He wanted nothing more than to rub against her. Fuck.
Fuck.
‘Don't you think you humiliated me enough?’ Aegon asked. There was no real bite behind his words; he just wished to get out of an uncomfortable situation before he made it worse. He had a tendency of making things worse.
Baela rolled his eyes at him and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “idiot” before suddenly leaning down and capturing his lips in a kiss.
Aegon didn't freeze. It might have been better if he did, but he didn’t. Instead, he kissed her back almost immediately. Baela's hands were on his face, so now his own hands were free, and he occupied them immediately by putting them on Baela's thighs and pushing her closer.
His defence? He was weak.
And you don’t usually say “no” when an extremely attractive woman wishes to rub her cunt against your cock, do you? Well, there was an exception to every rule, but Aegon was not that.
Baela started moving her thighs against him, and it became obvious that she was enjoying the friction just as much as he was. She broke the kiss with a moan, and Aegon put his mouth on her jaw, on her neck, on her shoulder. He kissed anywhere he could reach, his hands encouraging her thighs to move with even more force, and his own thighs moving against her in a way that was too uncoordinated to be called a rhythm.
Baela's moans were quiet; his were… louder, somewhat. This part of the castle was empty enough to feel private. And not like Aegon's brain could focus on such trivial things right now.
One of Baela's hands ended up on the floor, another on Aegon's chest, as she leaned back enough to slightly change the angle and increase the pressure between them. Aegon did not mind. On the contrary, he welcomed it.
The pleasure was better on the verge of pain.
Aegon wouldn't try to pretend that he lasted long. But he lasted long enough for Baela to get pleasure out of their encounter as well. He felt her thighs tense around his, and her movements came to a halt as she bit her lower lip and let out a quiet but such a delicious moan. She was dishevelled, and sweaty, and so, so beautiful.
She looked down at him and smiled.
And Aegon knew that he had made an awful mistake.