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Surprise, You're Mine (But at What Cost?)

Chapter 3: Saliva Protocol: Engaged

Notes:

FINALLY, I couldn't stop myself, just had to reach the best part!
...it's 5 am. Any mistakes made are due to my sleep deprived horny brain.

Chapter Text

Dib didn’t know how long he’d been out, only that his body hurt in places he didn’t know could hurt. His eyelids peeled open slowly, vision unfocused, and the first thing he registered was the faint scent of antiseptic... and burnt toast?

A voice cut through the haze.

"Oh, good. You're alive. Would’ve been a waste of perfectly good bio-glue if your disgusting human carcass had decided to rot on my med-table."

Zim. Right. He'd passed out when Zim decided that he was 'a failure of a human' with no 'self-restriction' and 'continuously injuring himself like a fool' and carried him to his base.

Dib groaned, trying to lift his head. His limbs felt heavy. Wrapped. Restrained. Not tied down, just... immobile from exhaustion. Bandages covered his arms, his ribs were strapped, and there was dried pink smudged on his fingernails, his face felt like it was held together with whatever Zim was slathering over its entirety. 

"You patched me up?" he rasped, voice barely a whisper.

Zim turned, his smirk visible from the glow of some cracked monitor. "Zim salvaged you. Like you salvage rotting garbage off the side of the road. Except less pleasant."

Dib let his head drop back against the pillow. He didn’t even have the energy to argue.

"Your spine was partially dislocated. Your fingers broken, knuckles split, multiple cuts and fractures. You had a cracked orbital socket and were losing blood at an alarming rate. Not to mention the self-inflicted damage. I’m surprised you didn’t just implode from sheer patheticness."

"Thanks," Dib muttered. "You’re a real humanitarian."

"I’m not human, you wretched crust-slug."

Before Dib could retort, a shadow loomed over him.

A pillow slammed down on his face.

“MURDER NAP!” GIR cheered, riding the pillow like a deranged cowboy.

“GET OFF HIM, YOU INFECTED BLENDER.” Zim screeched, yanking GIR off and flinging him across the room. The robot landed with a sproing and cheerfully flopped onto his back like nothing happened.

Dib coughed, dazed, hair sticking up in every direction. “Did... did your robot just try to smother me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Zim said, inspecting some kind of scanner. “He tries to smother everyone. Consider it a rite of passage.”

Dib tried sitting up, wincing. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

“You look like it, too,” Zim snapped, nose wrinkling. “And you reek. Like gore and burnt protein and... adolescent failure. Go shower.”

Dib blinked. “I’m sorry, where would I shower? You’re deathly allergic to water. Remember? Hiss, burn, screams of agony?”

Zim scoffed, already walking away. “I built a non-lethal cleansing chamber, obviously. I’m not a barbarian, Dib-stink.”

He gestured at a sleek, vaguely coffin-shaped structure humming against one wall.

Dib stared at it. “You built a shower.”

“A state-of-the-art, human-compatible rehydration and filth-removal unit.”

Dib rubbed his eyes. “You built a shower.”

Zim crossed his arms. “Are you going to use it or keep repeating things like a malfunctioning audio loop?”

“I’m not even gonna question how it works,” Dib muttered. Then glanced down at his stained, torn clothes. “Still gonna smell like blood, though. These are wrecked.”

“GIR,” Zim barked. “Retrieve the human’s Earth garments. All of them.”

“YAAAAY CLOTHES HEIST!” GIR zoomed out through the ceiling.

Dib sighed. “I can’t believe I’m letting your robot break into my house.”

“Be grateful,” Zim said, already busy with another glowing panel. “Zim was going to harvest your skin and replicate it with scent-neutral fibers. But apparently humans are too squeamish for improvement.”

Dib limped to the shower pod and muttered, “I’m too tired to unpack that.”

Some time later, clean, bandaged, and wrapped in stolen laundry, Dib lay on a cot in the far corner of Zim’s base. His phone was dead. His body felt barely stitched together. And yet, he’d managed to order takeout with one of Zim’s disguised transmitters — because if he had to suffer, he wasn't doing it hungry.

"Disgusting grub." Zim wrinkled his non-existent nose at him, while Dib continued to eat his pizza in peace, GIR having an entire box to himself. "Oh," Dib said after a moment, "your eye grew back."

Zim, adorned in his disguise because he was the one that picked up the food from the delivery man, rolled his eyes at him. "Of course it did, idiot. My body far surpasses your primitive one."

Dib picked up a pepperoni and threw it in his face. Cue screaming and death-threats.

 

 

Days passed. Mostly in silence. Zim tinkered. GIR screamed. Dib healed.

And then, of course... they argued.

 

The trigger had been stupid. Something about a half-installed defense turret mistaking Dib’s sandwich for a biological threat and melting it into sludge.

“You could’ve WARNED me!”

“You should’ve had better reflexes, Earth-worm!”

“You’re a menace!”

“You’re a weak, squishy liability!”

“You think you’re better than me?! You’re a narcissistic, overgrown insect with abandonment issues and a god complex!”

Zim froze mid-step. “At least Zim has a complex. What do you have, Dib? A victim complex and unresolved parental neglect?”

Dib’s breath caught. His fists clenched.

Zim sneered, stepping into his space. “Pathetic little human, screeching about pain and betrayal when you run your mouth and hurl cutlery like some feral, domesticated slug-beast. Maybe if your family didn't actively wish your demise, you wouldn’t smell like trauma and stale corn chips.”

“Fuck you.”

Zim blinked.

Then smiled, slowly. “Ah. Yes. The Earth curse word.” He leaned in, eyes narrowing with eerie delight. “I am aware of what this ‘fucking’ is, Dib-filth. Though it is not yet clear why you would wish to participate in it with your parental unit and the Dib-sister, when you have ZIM.”

Dib made a noise somewhere between a shriek and a gag. His whole face went pale.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Zim looked smug. “You’re the one who said it.” 

Dib’s whole body went rigid. “You are so—so fundamentally broken. What part of ‘fuck you’ made you think I meant—”

“I am not an Earthling,” Zim said matter-of-factly, circling him now, his fake lenses glinting with interest. “Your crude idioms must be taken literally until context is proven otherwise.”

“That is not—no. Context is very clear.” Dib’s voice cracked again. He hated that it did. His face was on fire. “And I wasn’t inviting you to—”

Zim’s grin widened, sharp and feral. “You are red in the face. Your scent markers are spiking. You’re secreting additional sweat. Interesting. Are you... flustered, Dib-beast?”

“No. Shut up.”

“Or perhaps... you are inviting me. In your own backwards, violent, Earth-monkey way.” Zim’s voice lowered, and something in his tone shifted — from mockery to something speculative. Something darker. “After all... you did come crawling back to me, half-dead and helpless.”

“That is not what happened!”

“I cleaned your gore. Bandaged your disgusting limbs. Watched you twitch in your sleep and moan.” Zim’s eyes glinted. “And now you sleep here. Eat here. Bathe in my chamber.

You’re practically mine already.”

 

Dib’s breath hitched. That word—mine—crackled through him like lightning, wrong and exhilarating and deeply humiliating. “You’re—God, you’re so full of yourself—” he took a shaky step back. He couldn’t look away. “You’re making this weird.”

“Zim is weird,” Zim hissed, stopping right in front of him, Dib's nose nearly touching the smooth skin where there should be a nose on Zim's. “And so are you. Twisted little human with abandonment wounds, craving punishment just to feel seen.

Dib swallowed hard. “I will punch you.”

Zim leaned closer. “Do it.”

The air between them snapped like a wire pulled too tight. Dib didn’t move. His fists were trembling at his sides.

Zim’s voice dropped to a whisper. “You smell like adrenaline and shame. It’s intoxicating.”

“I hate you.”

“Lie better.”

And then Zim touched him — two clawed fingers against the side of his neck, featherlight, tracing the pulse there. Dib didn’t flinch, but every nerve lit up like live wire.

“I can hear your heart pounding,” Zim said softly. “You want something. You don’t even know what.”

Dib’s breath hitched. “This is a really bad idea.”

“Then stop me,” Zim whispered, eyes glowing faintly.

But Dib didn’t. His voice caught in his throat. His skin was burning. His whole body ached, not from injuries now, but from how tight he felt inside, like he might shatter if Zim kept looking at him like that—like he was prey, puzzle, conquest.

He just stood there, every muscle wound tight, and when Zim’s mouth brushed his jaw — just shy of a kiss, just enough to taste his panic — Dib finally moved.

Not away.

Forward.

Their mouths collided like a car crash — messy, desperate, violent. Not a kiss so much as a collision of heat and hunger and years of unresolved hatred tangled with something that felt too much like need. It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t kind.

 

It was claiming.

 

His thoughts were a mess of alarm bells and don’t do this and why do I want to, all drowned out by the thrum of heat curling in his spine and the weight of Zim’s lips on his.

Teeth and lips and pressure, demanding and ruthless. Dib gasped into it, his knees buckling slightly as Zim pushed him back—his hoodie fisted in Zim’s claws, his head spinning, mouth opening like instinct. He hated how easily he folded into it, how his hands trembled when they grabbed at Zim’s arms for balance, not to resist.

Zim growled against his lips, a low vibration that made Dib shudder. Every time Dib thought to pull away, Zim pulled closer—slamming him into the wall with a thud that knocked the air from his lungs, one hand braced on Dib’s ribs, the other tangled in his hair. His segmented tongue breached past the human's lips, intertwining with his own appendage before exploring his mouth further.

It was too much. Too fast. Too good.

Dib hated how fast his brain melted. How much he wanted this. He could feel the build-up of their shared saliva pooling in his mouth, and he tried to swallow, slurping on Zim's tongue when he did so. Zim groaned, his tongue pushing further into Dib's mouth, he could feel it in the back of his throat, at this rate he was going to gag—

Zim pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes, and Dib was panting, dazed, red-faced and furious at himself. Spit coated the corners of Dib's lips, and he felt himself trying to push himself back in to kiss Zim again, but the alien held him by the hand tangled in his hair, and he hissed in pain.

“You’re shaking,” Zim murmured, voice syrup-slick and smug. “Should Zim stop?”

Dib’s swollen lips parted, but no words came out.

Zim grinned, victorious. “Didn’t think so.”

Then he kissed him again—harder.

And Dib let him.

Zim’s mouth moved against his like he was trying to devour him—biting, licking, commanding. There was no tenderness in it. No hesitation.

 

Dib whimpered—actually whimpered—into the kiss, and he hated himself for it. Zim pressed harder, like he’d been waiting for that sound, like it was the exact weakness he wanted to pry open.

“You like this,” Zim hissed, dragging his sharp teeth along the curve of Dib’s jaw after retracting his tongue from Dib's mouth, laughing mockingly when Dib followed after his lips again. “Filthy little human, pretending you have control. Look at you. Pathetic and trembling—”

His hands were everywhere now—palming over Dib’s chest, grazing the line of his hip, fingers curling possessively under his shirt.

“Z-Zim—”

“Say it,” Zim snarled, lips brushing his ear. “Say you want it.”

Dib’s knees almost gave out. His body was a riot of contradictions—arousal and fear and guilt and the desperate, burning ache of being wanted. Of being claimed. By the one person he was supposed to hate more than anyone.

His mouth opened, but all that came out was a choked moan when Zim grabbed his ass and ground their bodies together.

Zim chuckled darkly. “I knew it.”

Dib was hard—aching and humiliated and so close to losing it, and Zim knew. Zim was pressing into him with intent now,and Dib was rutting slowly against his thigh like a—a whore.

“You humans,” Zim muttered, licking up the side of Dib’s neck. “So full of denial. You crave pain and power and touch, but you coat it in shame like that makes it less true.”

“I—I hate you,” Dib gasped, clawing at Zim’s jacket even as his body arched up into him.

“You're ugly when you lie, Dib,” Zim growled, biting down hard enough to leave a mark. “You need this.”

He dragged Dib’s shirt up over his ribs, raking clawed fingers over his sides—careful not to tear the bandages, but making sure Dib felt it. His touch was firm, proprietary, and Dib burned with the humiliation of how his hips rolled forward, seeking friction like a damn animal. A choked noise escaped his throat, his arms hugging Zim's neck tightly as Dib rolled his hips again, this time not swallowing the moan that broke forth.

“I could break you,” Zim whispered, voice sin-slick. “Stretch you open, make you beg, make you scream for me. Is that what you want, Dib?”

Dib shivered, his breath ragged. “Shut up. Please—just—”

Zim seized his jaw, forcing him to look up. “Say it.”

Dib’s eyes fluttered. His voice barely held together. “I—nngh—want it.”

“What do you want?” Zim purred, dragging his claws down Dib’s spine.

“I want you,” Dib gasped, eyes wild. “Fuck—I want you, Zim, just—just do it.”

Zim grinned, zipper-like teeth gleaming. “Then beg, Dib-worm. On your knees.”

Dib dropped, trembling, hands already fumbling at Zim’s pants (Dib had introduced him to trending clothes years ago when everyone began to make fun of Zim for wearing a 'skirt', those who made fun of him disappeared, and an assembly to mourn the souls of the students who were found dead had taken place immediately after) with a mixture of panic and hunger. Shame burned behind his eyes. But beneath it, deeper—was need. Raw, helpless need.

Zim cupped his chin, tilting his face up like a king regarding a broken offering. “Good little human,” he murmured. “So easy to ruin. My saliva's compounds are already taking effect."

Dib barely registered what he said, then he looked up at him, eyes wide, "what?"

The alien waved his hand dismissively, "my saliva contains an aphrodisiac. Zim tested it on one of the revolting Earth-creatures before they met their demise. But you don't look revolting, Dib-pet, now do you?" He grinned ferally.

Dib's mind reeled. The alien's saliva contained an aphrodisiac? He had been kissing him willingly, wanting him even before this revelation. His thoughts were a whirlwind of confusion and desire. He wanted to push Zim away, to run, but his body betrayed him, responding to the alien's touch with a hunger he couldn't control.

Zim's grin widened as he felt Dib's hands tremble against his waistband. "That's it, Dib-worm. Show your master how much you want him." His voice was a purr, sending shivers down Dib's spine. Dib squeezed his thighs tighter, and his hands bunched into the fabric of Zim's pants. He pulled down slowly, exposing the area between Zim's legs, smooth green skin, with a visible seam beginning to split the skin around it.

With a swift motion, Zim grabbed Dib by the torso and threw him with his alien strength onto the round kitchen table, Dib protesting the rough movement before Zim was on him again, muttering about GIR and how happy he was that he wasn't here to see this. He helped Dib pull down his pants, easing out his hard length and lazily flicking the head. The action had Dib throwing his head back in pain and pleasure, a sob wrenched out of his throat.

"Did that feel good, Dib?" Zim simpered, and Dib could only whine, his bony hips lifting off the table at the touch.

He was far too gone to notice the appendage beginning to work its way out of Zim's slit, translucent lavender slick dribbling onto the floor the more it revealed itself. Dib cracked an amber eye open, to see the Irken's tongue flicker out, licking into his mouth again. "You taste good, Dib-pet," Zim murmured, his voice low and enamored.

Dib flushed, an embarrassing sound torn out of him. But the sensation of Zim's segmented tongue in his mouth was so good, no doubt from the roofie in his spit, and he couldn't bring himself to care either. He moaned as Zim's tongue trailed down his stomach, dipping into his navel before moving lower.

When Zim's tongue reached Dib's cock, he let out a strangled cry. He felt like he was about to implode, and he wasn't sure he could handle it. But Zim seemed to know exactly what he was doing (Dib couldn't figure out how), his tongue swirling around the head of Dib's cock before taking it into his mouth.

Dib's hands scrabbled at the table, trying to find something to hold onto as Zim sucked him deeper into his mouth. He couldn't believe the sensations coursing through his body, the pleasure building with each thrust of Zim's tongue.

barely caught a glimpse of the tentacle, before Zim had his gloved claws, coated in slick, breaching his pink puckered hole.

"Zi—im!!" His voice broke, keening. "H-how... do y-you even know where to—" Zim tugged on his shaft with his tongue, and Dib writhed, his back arching off the table and away from the prodding fingers, which followed him incessantly. 

"I have watched enough 'human sexual bonding sequences' between the same gender—" Zim popped off of his cock to answer his question, but Dib whined and brought his hands to run through Zim's iconic black wig, pushing his head down once more. "The aphrodisiac no doubt is making this easier, and making you act like a bratty Smeet." Zim mumbled, but Dib couldn't hear him, progressively losing more and more coherent thought.

He felt like everything was being lit on fire, from his ass to his cock to his neck to his mouth—he felt as though he was losing his mind, the sounds being constantly punched out of him weren't helping either, a continuous string of imperceptible muttering and drawn out groans. Everything felt so good.

 "You're so easy to read, Dib-pet. All I have to do is find this 'prostate', and you'll be—" he was cut off yet again by Dib wailing, legs wrapping around Zim's shoulders and squeezing. Zim shuddered at the sound his human had made, his mating organ pulsing with need. Zim decided that he had 'prepared' Dib enough, his slick's components were certainly helping. 

The tentacle wiggled as it pushed against his entrance, and Dib couldn't help but spread his legs more on Zim's shoulders, looking straight into his alien's eyes, pleading. "M-more."

Any thoughts of 'going slow' went out the window.

The tentacle thrust itself inside roughly, sliding deeper and deeper into Dib, causing the human's eyes to close in pure ecstasy. His legs tightened around Zim's shoulders, pulling him in closer, begging for more. Dib's mouth hung open in a silent cry, drool dripping down his chin as his body shook with pleasure.

Zim couldn't help but moan at the sight of Dib, completely lost in the moment. He had never seen the human look so vulnerable, so open and willing. It was intoxicating. The tentacle pulsed with need, eager to fill Dib up completely.

Dib's back barely touched the table anymore, Zim's gripping him by the hips, and as Zim thrusts further, Dib's toes curl in bliss. His eyes cross as he tried to focus on Zim, but the sensations coursing through his body were too much. He could only manage to sputter and pant, his voice hoarse and throaty from the constant pleading for "Zim, Zim, please! More, more, more!"

Zim leaned down to capture Dib's lips in a sloppy kiss, their tongues dancing together as Zim continued to thrust. Dib's hands clawed at Zim's back, pulling him closer as he begged for more.

The room was filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing and moans, drowning out any other noise. Dib's wails grew louder as Zim hit a particularly sensitive spot, his hole tightening with every sensation. Zim's tentacle pistoned in and out of Dib's ass, the slick coating making it easy to move. He could feel Dib's muscles clenching around him, trying to draw him deeper inside. He could feel the human's cock, hard and leaking precum, pressed against his stomach. And he could feel Dib's lips, hot and wet and insistent, on his own.

The Irken could feel Dib's abused prostate through his mating organ, and he took advantage of it. He rubbed against it with each thrust, causing Dib to see stars. His eyes squeezed shut even harder, and he could feel himself losing control.

Zim pulled back from the kiss, watching as Dib's chest heaved with every breath. He stared down at him, and Dib's eyes were glazed over, his mouth open mouthing on pleas he couldn't articulate.

He increased his pace, causing Dib's body to lurch even more. He could feel Dib's orgasm building, and he knew he was close. Zim's saliva, still slick on Dib's skin, only served to heighten his arousal. Every touch, every thrust of the tentacle inside him, sent waves of pleasure coursing through his body. He could feel himself losing control, his hips bucking wildly as he rode the alien cock.

The alien took advantage of Dib's incoherent state, using his free hand to explore the human's body. He ran his fingers over Dib's chest, pinching and twisting his nipples until they were hard and sensitive. He trailed his fingers down Dib's stomach, feeling the muscles clench and release as he was fucked. And all the while, he continued to kiss Dib, swallowing his moans and gasps as he drove him closer and closer to the edge.

"C-cumming!" Dib wailed, his legs tightening around Zim's shoulders as he came, hard. His body shook with the force of his orgasm, and Zim couldn't help but groan hungrily at the sight.

As Dib came down from his high, Zim followed shortly after, filling Dib up with his seed. Dib's body milked the tentacle, causing Zim to breathily hiss. He looked down at Dib, who was still panting and trying to catch his breath.

"You did well, Dib-pet," Zim said, his voice filled with satisfaction. "You took my... cock like a good little human."

Zim laid next to his human, both of them trying to recover from the intense session. Dib's legs were still shaking, his eyes still glazed over as he tried to process what had just happened.

He would explore Dib's body again and again, learning what made him tick, what made him moan. He would push him to his limits, and then push him some more. And through it all, Dib would be his, completely and utterly.

The thought made Zim's retreating mating organ twitch with desire, and he knew it wouldn't be long before he was ready to penetrate the Dib again. But for now, he would let his human rest, basking in the afterglow of their encounter.

Dib's eyes opened slowly, a lazy smile spreading across his face as he looked at Zim. "Wow," he breathed, still trying to catch his breath. Zim looked at him, before he grinned, his fingers reaching Dib's ass, and pushing his seed back inside him. "You have been bred by the almighty Zim! Feel honored, Dib."

Dib could only whine in response, completely spent and unable to form any coherent word besides what he said earlier. He could feel Zim's saliva still working its magic, and he knew that he would be ready for more soon.

For now, he could only lay there and bask in the afterglow of his orgasm, completely at the mercy of the Irken who had just fucked him senseless.