Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It wasn’t that Tim didn’t try to sleep, it really wasn’t. He had taken both melatonin and trazodone like he was supposed to. He had stopped drinking coffee way earlier than usual, at about 3 upon insistence from Dick.

The thoughts just wouldn’t stop coming. He was getting so many ideas, some security measures that could be improved, clues that were falling into place for a gang related homicide that they were working on, even just ways that he could rearrange his room to better suit his needs.
Finally after a little over an hour or so, it was clear Tim wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep. He sat up in bed, ran a hand through his greasy hair and promptly decided on a shower to at least get clean before he implemented any of his genius ideas.

Tim grabbed his speaker on the way to the bathroom. Luckily for him, Bruce had installed sound dampening tech in the walls.
Jason had been the one who had made it necessary, as when he came back he decided the best form of revenge would be to sneak into the manor and blast music as loud as he could as soon as Bruce fell asleep. It drove everyone crazy, Dick even refused to stay at the manor for weeks. Damian and Tim stayed over at his apartment as often as they could for a good night's sleep until finally Bruce caught Jason and Alfred having tea one afternoon. Tim benefited nicely from it though, as it meant he was able to blast music during his shower and would even know he was awake.

The water started off very hot however as soon as Tim stepped in he was overcome with nausea and promptly turned it as far cold as he could. Beside a small shiver, the cold water felt like a blessing. His brain had been running so fast that he basked in the feeling of a reset of his senses.

Exiting the bathroom, Tim decided that he would start with rearranging his room. He stripped his bed of sheets and grabbed his laundry basket. While Alfred usually did the laundry, Tim was more than capable, having learned at a young age when his parents left him to his own devices. He snuck down the stairs and started the sheets and towels first. A timer was set on his phone for two minutes before the cycle finished so he could get down and stop it before it made noise.

Normally he would make a cup of coffee to start his day but he was practically overflowing with energy. When he got back to his room the first thing he did was to get on his phone and order things he would need. He had been meaning to buy a PC for a while, not only so he could play more video games with Kon, but also to be able to work on stuff in his room instead of the batcave all the time, and if it also meant he was able to video call his boyfriend in private on a better device, that was just a bonus. He had already done the research on the best parts, monitor, keyboard and mouse. He paid an extra $50 to get it delivered tomorrow. He also bought himself a calendar and a bulletin board. While he was perfectly capable of remembering appointments, deadlines and obligations in his head, sometimes while running on no sleep for two days it would be easier for him to have it written down.

Next up was throwing everything that had been sitting on his desk in a bin and carefully moving his desk to the hallway so he could move his bed and dresser around freely. Soon all of the furniture had been moved into better positions, although the desk was situated a couple of feet away from the wall so he could paint it in the morning. He moved his laundry over and started the next load.

By the time he was done, it was almost 3 in the morning. Alfred woke up at 6 to make breakfast, but Tim decided he wanted to try. Why not? He didn’t have as much experience in the kitchen, but he loved his family and wanted to show them he appreciated them.
That is how he ended up sneaking out of the house, although it can hardly be called sneaking if he could walk out the front door, the frequent amount that someone needed a midnight walk, making security measures more of a pain than was worth.

A 24-hour store was about a half hour walk, but Tim had nothing but time. He had his noise-cancelling headphones on, ignoring Bruces voice in his head screaming about how dangerous it was to allow someone the opportunity to sneak up on him. Tim was more than capable of handling himself, besides who would dare try something with him? Timothy Drake-Wayne was widely known as the incredibly smart CEO of two companies. He was too important to be targeted.

As he was about two blocks from the store, a guy who had to be at least 22 years old walked by. He was very attractive, with dark hair and eyes. He stopped and eyed Tim, who could now see he held a half full bottle of Vodka in his hand.

“Hey gorgeous, what are you doing out so late?” His voice was slurred, but damn if Tim wasn’t a sucker for compliments.

“Just taking a walk, enjoying the view.” Tim didn’t shy away as the man smiled, gesturing to the alleyway next to them. Tim followed him in.

“James by the way. That's my name, I mean.” James was very cute as he stumbled over his words and his feet, obviously happy to have succeeded at picking Tim up. He held out the vodka.

Tim grabbed it and took a swig. It certainly wasn’t his first time drinking, although he didn’t do it often, as when he sobered up he was always struck by memories of Janet Drake coming home with wine on her breath and criticisms ready to be handed out. As soon as Tim finished swallowing, he set the bottle down and practically jumped on James.

In the back of his mind guilt nagged at him, but not loud enough to drown out the euphoria that was lighting up his brain as James put one hand on his waist and the other on the back of his head.

Tim grabbed him back desperately, his nails digging into James’ jean jacket, searching for the bottom so he could lift it and get his hands on skin. James stopped him and took off his jacket and shirt, before lifting Tims hoodie off. He promptly went back to kissing Tim, moving from his lips to his neck to his chest, leaving hickeys and bite marks all over.

Tim knew the city like the back of his hand, which is why he was confident in going further, knowing there were no cameras around and no police were going to be patrolling this area for another hour.

Tim reveled in the bliss and adrenaline rushing through him as he alternated his attention between taking a couple more sips of vodka and trying to get as close to James as possible. If he was able, he would have liked to crawl up and settle in his ribcage, but he would have to settle for a quick alley fuck.

When they were done, Tim didn’t linger except to make sure James was able to dress himself and call himself an uber home. Then he continued to the store to pick up ingredients for omelets with a side of fruit.

Chapter Text

Walking home with an arm full of groceries and red paint was not the hardest part about being half drunk. That was operating the stove.

Jason and Alfred would be easy, they both liked feta, spinach and mushrooms in their omelets. Dick, Stephanie, and Duke all liked cheese and bacon in theirs, Damian wanted spinach and tomatoes with no cheese, while Cass and Bruce just wanted cheese. Tim stood firmly on the opinion that mushrooms with cheese was the best.

Tims vision was swimming while he cut up the fruit, and laid out all of the ingredients. He was rushing to start as soon as he could without starting so early that the breakfast would be cold when they got to it. Luckily Tim knew the order everyone woke up in.
Alfred was always first, followed closely by Damian. Bruce and Jason would come in next to fight over the first cup of coffee, which Jason would point out that he died and therefore deserves it. They did it every morning and it always ended up the same. Tim thought it was some form of comfort for the two. After those two sat down, Bruce to read the newspaper and Jason to brood until he was more awake, Duke and Cass would wander in. Cass would sit next to Bruce to read the newspaper with him and get a good morning hug, and Duke would sit by Jason.

Finally, Dick and Stephanie would be dragged in by Damian, who would go to retrieve them for breakfast at Alfreds request. Tim was usually up before Bruce and Jason to get the true first cup of coffee, not that either of them truly cared about the integrity of their coffee.
When the clock reached 5:55, Tim started making Alfred and Damians. Though he was unsteady, he only burnt himself once, and he thought he did a pretty good job with the omelets. He plated them and started a pot of coffee.

Right on time, Alfred appeared in the doorway and paused, causing Damian to run into him from behind.

“Master Timothy, may I ask what you are doing?” Alfred seemed to lace concern into his voice, probably about his pan.

“I’m making breakfast today! Yours and Dami’s are on the counter.” Tim smiled wide in an attempt to reassure Alfred that everything was going well.

Damian slowly walked around Alfred to look at his plate.

“Are you sure you know how to cook, Drake?” Damian inspected his omelet as if to make sure it was fully cooked.

“Yes I’m sure, I just haven’t had the chance to show off my skills yet. Now go start eating I have to start on Jason and Bruces.” Tim didn’t miss the way the two snuck glances at him but he refused to dignify the silent questioning with a response.
He was a very good cook, even when drunk. They both just needed to chill out.

Neither Bruce nor Jason noticed Tim when they first walked in, gently elbowing the other out of the way to get to the mugs first. After their little battle was over, finally Jason looked over and saw Tim holding out two plates.

“What’s that?” Jason asked stupidly.

“Omelets. I’m making breakfast.” Tim kept a smile on his face, even as Jason asked his next question.

“Why?”

“Why not? I had time and I haven’t really had the chance to show everyone how much I appreciate you all recently.”

As Jason opened his mouth, probably to ask another stupid question, Bruce nudged him and grabbed both plates.

“That is very kind of you, I’m sure it will taste great.” Despite the supposed kindness of the words, Tim couldn’t help but get offended. Of course they would taste good, why wouldn’t they? Even if he had never cooked before in his life, he was the smartest Robin, he was great at everything he did. He turned to finish the rest of the omelets.

The rest of the family filed in but Tim got no more questions about the breakfast, and everyone thanked him. He finally got to sit down at the table next to Dick with his own breakfast. While Dick hadn’t questioned the breakfast, it seemed that he couldn’t just be content with Tim existing peacefully.

“I thought we had agreed no more coffee last night, Timmy” Dick looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“We did, and I haven’t had coffee since yesterday afternoon. I didn’t even grab a cup this morning.” Tim felt himself getting defensive.

“What’s your deal then, Timbo?” Jason joined in, looking more awake, and somehow more concerned than he had earlier, “You look like you’ve been up at least all night.”

“Plus, you are getting sloppy, Tim. Usually you make a small effort at least to hide hickeys from Father.” Stephs body would never be found when Tim was done with her.

Everyone's eyes were suddenly on him. Everyone except Bruce who purposefully had his eyes on his plate. Before Tim could defend himself further, Duke chimed in.

“Wait, I thought Kon was off-world? Did they get back early?”

Damian’s scowl somehow got worse, “No, Jon just sent me a message this morning to schedule a hangout on Tuesday, when they get back.”

Everyone went quiet. Somewhere in Tim’s mind, there was guilt screaming at him, telling him to feel even an ounce of shame at his actions, but it was too far away. Dick wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“What’s going on Tim? Are you okay?” Tim couldn’t push him off fast enough, “Wait….Why do you smell like alcohol?”

That’s when Tim shoved himself away from the table.

“God, what the fuck does it matter? I tried to do something nice and all I get is fucking criticism and accusations.” Dick grabbed his arm gently.

“Wait Timmy, no one is trying to accuse you of anything, we’re just worried-”

“Well don’t be. I was actually feeling really happy earlier, and I was so productive last night. I was doing great until you all fucking ruined it. See if I ever do anything for you again,” And with that Tim stormed off, silence filling the dining room in his absence.

Chapter Text

Whispers followed Tim as he grabbed his sheets from the laundry room and headed upstairs to his room. Chills went down his back and he was shivering despite not being cold. He kept looking behind him, expecting to see at least a glimpse of one of his siblings, or worse Bruce, but he made it to his room without confrontation.

Three boxes were stacked in front of his door. Alfred must have brought them here after he finished his breakfast. Any anger Tim was holding in his chest quickly dissipated as he dragged the boxes into his room.

Tim made his bed, rechecking the corners of the fitted sheet twice, and re-smoothing his comforter multiple times until his bed could be shown in a home decor magazine. Finally he grabbed the biggest two boxes, the ones holding the computer case and parts, emptying the contents onto his clean floor.

As he started to assemble his new computer, he continued to hear footsteps outside of his door, but no one came in to yell at him so it was easy to ignore. The first time his phone started buzzing he grabbed it, but upon seeing it was Kon he ignored it. Knowing Damian, he probably snitched without knowing the context, or Dick was worried and roped Kon into his hysterics. The buzzing gradually fell into background noise.

About an hour in, however, his door flew open and Jason walked in. He closed the door behind him and immediately jumped onto the bed. Tims eye twitched for a minute as his perfectly made bed was ruined, but Jason just pulled out a book and started to read.

Tim continued to watch him out of the corner of his eye for a bit, but soon came to the conclusion that Jason was truly just here to read and got sucked back into focus on his task.

Honestly, Tim was surprised by the comfort of Jason's presence. Jason didn’t even look up as Tims hands became so shaky that he continually dropped the small pieces and was struggling to fit the delicate pieces together. They sat in comfortable silence, save for the sound of pages turning.

Tim gradually became aware of the blood trickling into his mouth as his teeth found and pulled at another piece of dead skin on his lips that tore too deeply. Tim got up and grabbed a monster out of his secret stash.

“Before you say anything, this is the first bit of caffeine that I have had since yesterday afternoon, I swear.”

Jason didn’t react, just kept his eyes on his book. Tim relaxed, took a sip of his drink, and continued to work in peace.

That is, until he heard more whispering. It was probably Jason reading out loud to himself, but Tim couldn’t quite distinguish any words, and as soon as he turned to look at Jason, he stopped. It happened again, and again, and again, until Tims patience broke.

“Jason! For fucks sake can you shut up?” Jason put down his book and raised an eyebrow, speaking the first words since he had barged into Tims room.

“What do you mean Timbo?”

“Stop fucking reading out loud or whatever the fuck you’re doing. All I can hear is whispering and it is fucking distracting me. I can’t concentrate on anything else.”

Jason had a specific look for when he was concerned but was trying to pretend he was disinterested or annoyed. Tim would have much preferred that to the look of outright worry that he was sending Tims way.

“I wasn’t whispering, Tim.” Jason's voice was soft. It was a sound that Tim only heard when Red Hood was comforting an alley kid. The tone that someone would use when approaching a feral cat. Tim’s confidence wavered for just a second before anger set in. He wasn’t in need of anyone's misguided concern, especially not Jason, who was trying to prank him or whatever he thought he was doing.

“Don’t-” Tims voice hitched, “Don’t fuck with me right now, Jason. If you need someone to annoy, go find Dick.”

“Tim, I’m serious, there was no whispering.” Jason carefully got off of the bed, kneeling in front of Tim. Tim stood and backed up. His hands started shaking even more and Tim clenched them into fists.

“Get out.” Jason stood and took a couple steps towards Tim, mouth open to say something. Tim cut him off with a punch to the face and a shove to the door. “Get the fuck out!! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!”

Dick opened the door.

“Timmy? What's going-”

Tim continued to scream at them to get out, shoving Jason to the door. Dick stepped forward as if to intervene, but Jason grabbed Dick, exchanged a look that Tim couldn’t quite decipher, and they both left his room.

Tim couldn’t quite catch his breath, he had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to sob. His breathing would not even out, and even as sobs let themselves out of his throat, no tears came out. He decided to just go back to assembling his room. Hopefully, no one else would bother him.

Chapter Text

Jason's POV

After Tim had left the dining room no one could find it in themselves to speak as they all finished eating. Jason would have felt bad if he wasn’t so damn confused. He revisited his actions that morning, but nothing he did would have usually warranted such a response from Tim.

Duke was the first up as he had patrol scheduled. He left without a single word uttered, but a silent hand on Jason's shoulder to communicate the want to be updated. Damian got up to leave the table with an excuse that he was going to go call Jon.

“Hold it, brat. No snitching until we know what happened.” Jason matched the glare he was receiving, “We owe that to Tim, and Kon does not deserve to find out from his little brother who got it from the little brother of his boyfriend. Especially when said little brother is infamous for saying things ‘efficiently’ which tends to leave no room for nuance or the full story.”

Damian sat back down with a scowl. Jason turned to Dick before continuing.

“Isn’t Kori also there?”

“Yeah-”

Bruce butted in, because of course he did, “I can contact Clark-”

“No. Dick is going to call Kori, who is going to bring Kon to a private room where Dick will explain what happened and what we know. I love Clark, but he is a dad first, unlike some people," Jason sped past that last part and kept talking before B could defend himself, besides everyone knew he was mostly joking. At his point he was mostly stable and had for the most part forgiven Bruce, "and we do not need more emotions clouding a situation that we do not even know what happened. Besides, I am worried about Tim, this isn’t like him, and he loves Kon. He was clearly drinking, his pupils are way too dilated, I would say drugs but we’ve all been around them enough to know that that's unlikely to be the problem.”

Bruce shut up, and Dick nodded his head in agreement. Everyone seemed to be in various stages of thinking before Damian got up along with Steph and Dick.

“Before you all leave, no one bothers him,” Jason's eyes lingered on Dick, Bruce and Damian, “He is obviously not doing okay and needs some space, and doesn’t need anyone judging, lecturing, or smothering him with concern. I’ll check on him in a bit.”

No one looked particularly happy about it, but in matters concerning Tim Jason, as unlikely as it seemed, was usually the leading expert. After the incident at Titans Tower and the subsequent apology, Jason and Tim got rather close. Jason saw the way that Bruce treated Tim after his death, and even though it wasn’t necessarily his fault, Jason gave an extra effort to make Tim feel secure in his place in the family.

They started having days out, and sleepovers at Jason's apartment. Every once in a while when Tim was angry or not doing well, Jason would bring him along in his Red Hood dealings, with Tim as his sidekick.

Tim opened up about how he felt, or rather didn’t feel about his parents death, and started to unpack the treatment he had gotten from Bruce, the way he often felt guilt for his very existence. Jason in turn talked about the Lazarus Pit, waking up in his own grave, and the days that he feels like a ghost, like he never woke up and this is his afterlife. His hell that he shares as he lives in constant fear of the Joker getting out.

On days Jason didn’t talk, or days that Tim was too overstimulated by everyone, they would often find themselves sharing a room while Jason read a book while Tim colored in a children's coloring book. It was something Tim would never admit to, but Jason knew it was because it was mindless but stimulating enough for him to not be bored, while adult coloring books were too complicated to be relaxing.

About an hour after breakfast, everyone was still downstairs. Bruce was in the batcave, Damian and Cass were sparring, and Dick and Steph were in the living room watching some show. Jason had been in the library, but finally made the decision to go sit in Tims room. That way he could check in, but not impose.

He decided to be as casual as possible, not treat him much different than he would normally. So naturally, he barged into Tims room unannounced and jumped on his bed. When Tim didn’t object, he continued to read, checking on him every once in a while as Tim dropped parts and tools, cursing under his breath. His normally steady hands were shaking, but Jason only filed that away for later. For now his only job was to sit and read.

He was interrupted only once, when Tim stood up for something and spoke,
“Before you say anything, this is the first bit of caffeine that I have had since yesterday afternoon, I swear.”

Jason decided not to answer, as he felt any answer he gave might be wrong, but in truth Jason believed him. Jason had seen him with 5 monsters and 4 blonde espresso shots in 12 hours, with heart palpitations that could almost be heard a room away. This wasn’t that.

Silence fell again, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Tim looking back at him occasionally. And then again, and again, with increasing frequency, until he started shouting.

If Jason was honest, he was so startled at the yelling that he didn’t even hear most of what Tim had to say, only catching “-You shut up?” So obviously he had missed something.

“What do you mean Timbo?”

“Stop fucking reading out loud or whatever the fuck you’re doing. All I can hear is whispering and it is fucking distracting me. I can’t concentrate on anything else.”

Oh. That's not good. Jason was not going to be a hypocrite and say that he didn’t have some auditory hallucinations, some more severe than others, but he was positive that there was no whispering. He had been keeping an ear out to make sure that no one came upstairs to bother them.

“I wasn’t whispering, Tim.” Jason tried and failed to keep the worry out of his voice. He internally cursed himself but his main focus was Tim whose eyes widened for a half second before settling into something almost neutral.
Don’t-don’t fuck with me right now, Jason. If you need someone to annoy, go find Dick.”

“Tim, I’m serious, there was no whispering.” Jason slowly approached, he figured it might help to be on the same level as him, as soon as he did Tim stood up and stepped back.

“Get out.”

Jason got up to follow him, all common sense leaving him in an attempt to comfort his little brother who was starting to seriously worry him. He was stopped by Tim throwing a right hook in his direction. It had no real weight behind it but it was enough to knock sense back into him as he was being shoved towards the door, all while Tim was screaming.

“Get the fuck out!! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!”

And if things couldn’t get worse, Dick opened the door.

“Timmy? What's going-”

Nothing was going to de-escalate this besides them giving him space. Tim continued to yell at them as Jason grabbed Dick, trying to convey that they had to leave with a look. Thankfully Dick got the message and they left, carefully closing the door behind them and headed downstairs.

Everyone was at the bottom of the stairs, but Jason just grabbed Bruce and dragged both Dick and Bruce to the cave and locked the door. This was not for anyone else to hear.

“Jay what the fuck was that?” Typical Dick behavior

“I’m not sure, I think Tim is having auditory hallucinations. He was talking about hearing someone whispering but I wasn’t talking and no one else was upstairs. I think I freaked him out when I told him that.”

Dick was taken aback while Bruce just appeared to be thinking.

“Do you remember how we took Tim to Harley for his depression?” Bruce talked while he walked to his computer.

“Yeah, didn’t he start those meds a couple weeks ago?” Jason went and sat on the desk while Dick followed and sat on the arm of the chair B was in.

“Yes, well I was curious if this could be a possible side effect of those. He was taking Zoloft, and I looked into it, as well as the symptoms he is presenting. While some of them can be explained by normal side effects, it didn’t explain everything, so I kept digging,” Bruce subconsciously wrapped his arm around Dicks shoulder, and Dick leaned into it. Jason was particularly grateful as it lessened the amount of pure anxiety Dick was radiating, “I came across sources on bipolar disorder. I could be wrong, but enough of the symptoms line up, and antidepressants, especially SSRIs, can cause and worsen manic episodes unless paired with something else like a mood stabilizer.”

Dick leaned forward to scroll through some of the articles that B had been reading, while Jason just thought about it. Harley and him had talked before, when he had first gotten to Gotham. They had explored the possibility of Bipolar before settling on a borderline personality disorder diagnosis. He sees her every once in a while if the meds he's on need to be adjusted but he has been doing a lot better. Thinking on Tims behavior, it would make a lot of sense. They needed to call Harley.

Chapter Text

Tim was sat at his new computer when he got the notification that Kon had reached the milky way again. Steam was open and he was deciding which games to download. He had made a steam account before but it was really only for a couple of games he would play with Kon and occasionally his brothers, but recently he had been added to the Wayne Steam Family, which meant that he had access to over 200 new games.

When his screen lit up, he decided he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. It at the very least would get him out of the house. Tim left his computer open so the games he had queued would continue to download and slipped out his window.

When the ship breached Earth's atmosphere most of the occupants, including Kon, would use the teleporters to get to earth's surface, leaving Superman and Martian Manhunter to pilot the ship alone back to the Fortress of Solitude for storage. Kon would almost positively go to Titans Tower, so that is where Tim was heading.

While Tim could have used the teleporter in the batcave, he ran the risk of running into one of his brothers, or god forbid his dad. Instead he walked through Gotham to the hidden teleporter in Crime Alley. Jason had bought the warehouse as Red Hood for his base, and in the very basement of it was the teleporter.

Getting past all of his goons and the security was easy, as he just threw on the helmet that Jason had made him, for when they went out together. It was his Red Robin colors, red yellow and black, but in the style of Jason's old helmet as Jason himself preferred his half mask and hood.

They were all quite nice to him, and Tim was pretty sure they thought he was Jason's kid.

“Hey Hoodling! Come to blow off some steam?”

Tim checked his watch, he had time before Kon would arrive.

“What do you have in mind?” Tim was led through the warehouse to a backroom that he vaguely remembered being too broken to use currently, but they had more important things to do than tear it down and rebuild it.

“We checked the old building records and there aren’t any load bearing walls in this room. Sometimes we need a place to blow off steam but we don’t have outside business during the day. Bobby had the great idea to use it as a rage room for day shifters. Plus it kills two birds with one stone, as the more we tear down, the less work we have to do when we eventually rebuild it.”

“That's a great idea, remind me to tell Hood to give Bobby a raise.”

“Will do Mini-boss,” Jaimie handed him a sledgehammer, “I gotta get back to work, but go at it.”

Tim smiled and thanked him. Random holes in the wall and small cracks in the cement hinted at the room already having been used. It used to be what looked like a break room, with a worn down fridge in the corner, cabinets under a marble countertop, chairs and tables. Tim set his eyes on the marble counter.

The first hit was weak with hesitation, but the second smashed all the way through into the cabinet below. Then he let loose. There had been a feeling in his chest ever since Jason had left his room. Like he was unraveling slowly from the inside. Like he felt so great, with so much energy, that he was going to suddenly combust. Like he was dying.

Tim let out a scream as he continued to smash things, but quickly controlled himself. He could have easily demolished the whole room, but the point of it was an outlet for the employees. He left the sledgehammer by the door as he left, and finally, Tim got down to the basement and on his way to the Titans Tower.

Tim wasn’t two steps into the tower before he heard the whoosh behind him signaling his boyfriends return. Tim immediately turned and jumped on Kon. He caught him, as always.

“Tim! I’ve been worried! You haven’t answer my calls and Dick said-”

Tim cut him off with a kiss, “I don’t wanna talk about that.”

Kon returned it but pulled away as Tim tried to take it further. He gently set Tim down on his feet.

“Babe, I’m concerned, and honestly a little hurt. I can see the hickeys on your neck and I know I didn’t put them there.”

Tim groaned, “Do we really have to talk about that? It meant nothing, just some 20 something year old that gave me a drink in an alleyway.”

Tim put his arms around Kon and started to kiss his neck, but Kon again pulled away.

“You fucked some rando in the street? What the fuck Tim?”
“Ooooh, I get it, you’re jealous. Baby you don’t have to be. Why don’t I make it up to you.”

Tim pushed Kon to sit on the couch and dropped to his knees. Kon started sputtering, so Tim continued on. Afterall he needed to make it up to Kon and what better way than with some head.

“Tim, stop. I don’t want this.”

Tim pulled back in disbelief, “You don’t want this? You? Who was so horny last time you came back from a trip this long, you couldn’t wait so you flew to Gotham and pulled me out of a fight.”

“That was different, I’m worried about-”

“Fucking hell, don’t start, theres nothing to be worried about. If you’re bored of me just say so, but don’t do this just cause Dick called you spouting nonsense.”

“I’m not bored of you! I could never, but that doesn’t mean I want to have sex right now.”

“I don’t believe you! We literally had sex while I had multiple broken bones, albeit carefully. Just fucking break up with me, I know you’re leading up to it so just fucking do it,” Tim could feel tears running down his face.

“I don’t want to break up. I just want to talk! Tim, you slept with someone else! And that person was at least 4 years older than you and gave you alcohol beforehand. I am allowed to be concerned!”

“Fine, if you won’t do it I will. We are fucking over!” Tim got up and started to walk towards the teleporter but stopped as Kon rushed in front of him.

“No. We are going to talk, if not now then soon, but we are not breaking up. You are not okay. If you want to break up with me when you calm down that is fine but I refuse to be broken up with as a coping mechanism to whatever is going on with you.”

Tim started to sob. He didn’t know why, he didn’t feel very different. He felt the same way he felt last night when this started, which meant he was feeling amazing right? So why did everyone keep insisting he wasn’t okay.

“I’m fine. I’m great! Just leave me alone,” Tims words were slurred as he cried harder. Kon tried to pull him into a hug gently but Tim fought, pushing at his chest, “I’m fine Konner! Let me go! I’m fine!”

Kon didn’t let go, holding him closer, trapping his hands between them. Kon put one hand up to the back of Tims head, rubbing his thumb behind his ear, and the other stayed wrapped around Tim. He rested his head on Tims and started to whisper.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m here, and I am going to help. We can talk later, just let me hold you for now.”

As Tim continued to sob into Kons shoulder, he nodded his head. Kon floated them both over to the couch, sat, and arranged Tim so he was in Kons lap with his head on Kons shoulder.
Tim could barely breathe but he tried to track Kon who was taking deep breaths as well. But then Tim heard whispers coming from down the hall.

“Someones here.”

“No baby, I promise we are alone. I will keep an ear out, you just rest.”

The tears slowed, and while Tim was too energetic to fall asleep, the trembling slowed and his breathing evened.

Chapter Text

No sleep came to Tim, but a certain peace came with laying in Kons arms, knowing that even as he just tried to blow up their relationship Kon wouldn’t leave him.

An hour in, Kon put Criminal Minds on and Tim was hit by an ache in his chest that spread into warmth. Kon knew that Tim loved to solve the cases before the team did, and he was always a sucker for the Derek-Penelope and JJ-Emily (Jemily forever) dynamics. A couple of episodes in and Tim was feeling more like himself as he scoffed blatantly at how clear the “mystery” was. Everytime he did, Kon let out a small laugh and squeezed his hand.

The peace did not last forever, as Tim found himself getting overstimulated. He slipped out of Kons embrace and began to snap his fingers as he paced, still watching the show.

When footsteps came from the other room Tim didn’t react until Kon did, until he was sure they were real. Once he had confirmation, he pulled out a batarang and threw it.

Jason, the fucker that he is, caught it as he strode into the room.

“Hey Timbo, how we doin’?” Tim couldn’t help the suspicion that followed him as Jason acted like nothing was wrong.

“Fine.”

Kon was quick to correct himm, “Tried to jump my bones the second I got back, and when I said I wanted to talk first he tried to break up with me.”

Kon avoided the look he was getting from Tim.

“Damn, tried?” Tim could tell when Jason was masking surprise, but he wasn’t this time. He was taking the information with a surprising amount of calm.

“He’s not allowed to until he calms down, maybe gets a full night of sleep.”

Jason nodded then turned to Tim, “I told B to bench you for a couple of nights.”

Tim stepped back as if Jason had just physically attacked him. They fucking benched him?? They couldn’t do that! He shouldn’t be punished for their perception of something being wrong with him. As anger grew he stepped forward, prepared to yell, but Jason raised his hand and continued to speak.

“Don’t worry Red, it's cause I need your help for something. You up for a little crime lording? Though it's not really gang related.”

Tim took a deep breath, “What would we be doing?”

“We gotta spring Harley, I’m almost out of refills and I think I need an adjustment anyways. Plus based on earlier I thought blowing off some steam might help,” If Jason had looked worried, or pitying or anything of the sort Tim would have thrown a punch and yelled some more. However, Jason just looked like he really just wanted Tims help with the case, and Tim really wanted to spend normal one-on-one time with his brother.

“Okay, but first we have to stop by the base and you need to give Bobby a raise.”

“Bobby ‘wants to be an opera singer’ Bobby?”

“Nah, single dad Bobby. He made the old break room into a wreck room for the day shifters that don’t have any other way to blow off steam, plus it gets us closer to fully demolishing it.”

Jason nodded thoughtfully, “Been meanin’ to promote him anyway. I was thinking of making him a manager of the daycare. Not only does he have great leadership skills but then he’d be closer to his girls and have a schedule more consistent with theirs. I'll draw up the papers later tonight.”

Tim nodded in agreement with his plan. Kon looked on in confusion.

“Red Hood runs a daycare?”

“Uh, yeah. One of the biggest things I am trying to take care of is the street kids, which means my employees who have kids need a place to take care of them when they don’t have school, especially one that doesn’t take most of their paycheck to pay for. There were a couple of girls who worked on the corners that used to be teachers before things went to shit for them, so I ran some background checks and hired them. Shits crazy out there, we gotta take care of one another.”

Jason said all of this in an ‘isn’t it obvious’ voice, but Tim knew that Kon had really only heard about Red Hood from his dad who heard it from Bruce. Tim really only talked to Kon about Jason. Tim turned back to Jason, anxious to do something.

“What time are we leaving? I have my mask n’ shit here so I could be ready in 15.”

Jason checked his watch, “15 works, we just gotta be there before 9 when the competent staff are scheduled.”

Tim nodded, gave his boyfriend a quick kiss before running to get ready.

The drive to Arkham Asylum was pretty fun, as working with Jason was the only time he was allowed to drive a motorcycle, thanks to Bruce’s new rules ever since Jason came back and screamed at him about child safety. Apparently that covered motorcycles but not vigilante-ing. Jason had customized a motorcycle just for Tim, which is just another reason Jason was his favorite.

Finally they made it to just outside where the cameras captured video and hid their bikes. Jason was quiet, and Tim had to prompt him to go over the plan once more. As Jason was talking, he kept glancing at the building and it hit Tim. Harley had already broken herself out when Jason needed to see her. He hadn’t been in Arkham in..a while, and every time Joker broke out he left to visit Talia until he was put away again.

Tim put a hand on Jason's shoulder as he took a deep breath. They locked eyes for just a second, a small check in, before they made their way into the building.

It should have been surprising how easy it was to break in, but this was Gotham, and the asylum was protected under some law that prevented Bruce from investing more money into it to make it better. There were very few guards, half of which were working for some villain inside, and the other half were just plain incompetent. All that to say, finding Harley was easy.

“Heyyy if it isn’t my favorite bird, and his little sidekick.” Tim caught himself before he spoke, as he didn’t have a voice modulator yet. Most of the time it was fine as he didn’t want to speak to anyone other than Jason when in the mask anyways.

“Oh come on Harls, you know you say that to all of us.”

“Aw you caught me Red. So what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’m breaking you out for a bit. A little vacation if you will. Need some help with something.”

Harley smiled, “So sweet, I could use a vacay,” She lowered her voice and pointed to the cell next to her, “Ives is gettin’ a bit moody, you know how pregnancy hormones go.”

“Y’all are expectin’? That’s great Harls, who’s the dad?”

“Me, obviously. We been workin out a plan with the bat to get outa here, settle down outside of Gotham. Supposed to get out for good in a couple months, just before the baby's due.”

Jason poked his head over to the other cell, “Hey Ivy, congrats on the baby. You want me to send anything with Harley when she comes back?”

“Chocolate, as much chocolate as you can. And pickles,” Ivy laid on her bed, baby bump only just starting to show. Jason shot her a thumbs up before finally unlocking Harley's cell. She jumped out and started skipping down the halls.

“Come on, I know a shortcut.”

Jason and Tim followed silently. There weren’t any guards down the halls they flowed down, turn after turn. Harley didn’t spare a second glance as someone hit the bars of their cell and called after her. Jason, however, stopped dead in his tracks as that someone turned his attention to Red Hood.

“Ah, boy wonder. It’s been so long, I’ve missed you.”

Tim didn’t hesitate to push Jason fast to follow Harley, who came back around to drag him forward.

“I’m sorry honey, I didn’t know they moved him. Let’s get outta here okay?”

Tim hesitated for a second. It wasn’t fair that Jason had to be so afraid all of the time. It wasn’t fair that he had to leave every time that the Joker broke out. He deserved to feel safe. Not even just feel, but he deserved to be safe. Tim felt the anger that had been dormant for a couple hours bubble up inside of him. It wasn’t as planned out as he would have preferred but he would do anything for his brother.

Tim turned, pulled out the gun Jason had gifted him for his 17th birthday, and shot Joker straight in the face.

Chapter Text

Jason's POV (Again :))

No amount of medication or breathing exercises could have helped Jason as his little brother (HIS LITTLE BROTHER) ran towards him with blood splattered on his helmet, and Joker's body hitting the ground in the background.

They definitely did not have time to unpack anything, the gunshot would have drawn everyone toward them. Harley continued to drag Jason through the labyrinth that is Arkham, and Tim continued to run behind them as if nothing was wrong.

They escaped, with guards just a hair away from catching them multiple times. Jason directed Harley to his motorbike before turning to Tim.

“The gun,” He held his hand out, “Then you are going back to Titan tower. If anyone asks you were there the whole time”

Tim handed over the gun, “Why-”

“The tower!! Now Tim!”

Tim shrugged his shoulders, got on his bike and left to where Jason could only hope was Titan Tower. Unfortunately both of them took off their trackers before going out so Jason couldn’t ensure that he did, but that would lend credibility if anyone were to look at his whereabouts.
Jason hopped on his bike with Harley behind him.

“You okay honey-”

Jason revved his engine and tore down the road towards the Batcave. He could barely breathe, and if he was anywhere else he would have crashed somewhere. Instead, Jason expertly navigated the streets of Gotham, going well over 120mph.

They burst into the cave, where Bruce and Dick were waiting. Damian had gone with Steph and Cass on patrol, with Oracle on comms, so the cave was free for whatever was about to blow up. Jason stumbled off his bike, almost hyperventilating.

“Hood, why am I getting notifications that Joker was killed?”

“It wasn-” Jason's vision was swimming with green and he pulled his mask off in an attempt to take a deep breath. Dick ran over to him and put an arm around him. Harley chimed in.

“Hey Batsy! Don’t worry Red wasn’t the one who did it. The little sidekick did,” She gently guided Jason over to a chair to sit. Dick followed, rubbing his back and trying to get him to breathe.

“What? Jason what happ-”

“Bruce! Shut up. Let him breathe for just a second, Joker won’t get more dead.”

Jason couldn’t express how grateful he was for Dick at this moment. Harley had been rummaging through their things while B watched to make sure she didn’t take anything important. Finally she found the hidden fridge/freezer and brought over an ice pack and water.

The cold helped Jason come back to his body and as he continued to calm down, Dick encouraged him to drink some. Finally, as Jason waved Dick and Harley away, Bruce spoke again softer.

“Jay, what happened?”

“Recovering Harley went as planned, we got in and as we were leaving we passed Joker.”

“Yea, that was my bad sugar, they moved him to a lower security corridor. He was probably plannin an escape agains, but I guess that ain’t happenin no more.”

“We- he saw me hesitate. It’s not exactly a secret what Joker did to me. I didn’t think he would….I didn’t account for this. I will be speaking to him after this.”

“You will bring him to me. This is serious, and he needs to be brought to-”

Jason stood up, “No. He is my problem, Bruce. I will take care of it.”

“He became my problem when he killed someone on a mission that I sanctioned. This isn’t up for debate. If you won’t bring him here, just tell me his name and Batman will pay him a visit-”

“No. He is my problem, and he is a minor which makes him my jurisdiction. If you go after him, in any capacity including information, we will have a problem. We have a very fragile thing right here B. You look the other way when I take care of business how I see fit, and in turn I respect the weird homoerotic thing you and Joker have, by not killing him. But if you go after this kid, Batman will no longer be welcome in the Alley, and I will no longer find myself welcome in this house. Understand?”

Bruce was silent for a moment, “Alright Jay, you win. What am I telling Gordon?”

Jason sighed, “Have Barbie scrap the footage, tell him I did it. What’s one more head in my bag?”

Jason's head was buzzing, he could strangle Tim. He could drop to his knees crying, thanking him. Bruce nodded soberly and Dick shot Barbra a message with instructions. He then turned to Harley.

“Hey Harley! How’re you and Ivy?”

“Aw hey birdie number 1! Ives and I are doing great. We can’t wait to be outta here and settle down.”

Dick smiled and made slight small talk as Jason sank lower in his seat floating away from his body. He could hear faint maniacal laughter, the sound of a crowbar hitting flesh, breaking bones, and the countdown of a timer. Jason wasn’t quite sure how long he was zoned out, but as he came back to his body he realized that a weighted blanket had been placed on his chest and Dick had taken a seat next to him and was running his hands through Jason's hair as he was still talking with Harley.

Seeing that Jason was present once again, Harley directed a question to him.

“So, what's this something you need help with, sugar?”

“It’s Tim. I’m worried about him. He’s acting erratic. He got drunk and cheated on his boyfriend. He seemed to be having auditory hallucinations and when I told him he blew up on me. He has an excess of energy despite not sleeping and not having caffeine-”

“We don’t know that-” Dick tried to interrupt.

“I do. He had a monster earlier this afternoon but I believe that's the only caffeine he's had in the past day and a half. B did some research and we think he might be experiencing a manic episode.”
Harley nodded thoughtfully.

“I’ll need to talk to him, but the symptoms you’re describing are indicative of a manic episode. If he is bipolar, it is very treatable as long as the patient is willing. Is he seeing a therapist?”

“No. I have suggested it but he shut it down.” Bruce, now out of costume, was staring at his shoes.

“Whatever it is, I do recommend that he see a therapist. This line of work is a lot for anyone. When can I talk to him?”

Jason answered, “I’ll check in with him tomorrow. For now I think Titans Tower is the best place for him at the moment.”

Harley nodded, “Now, Dickie and Brucie, you need to leave. I have another appointment to get to.”

Jason smiled, he never did have to tell Harley when he needed something from her. The other two left the room and Harley put a hand on his knee.

“So, what's been going on Red? How are you doin’?”

Jason sighed, “Could be worse. Have had a couple hallucinations recently but nothing horrible. A couple of dissociative and paranoia episodes in the past couple of weeks. I’ve been getting angrier easier, although, to be fair I have had more reasons to be angry recently.”

“Yeah, and I bet your little brother killin’ your killer didn’t help much?” Harley lowered her voice to almost a whisper, no camera would pick it up, but Jason's heart still almost jumped out of his chest.

“No- I mean, you don’t know that- I mean how do you-”

“Oh puh-lease sugar, we been talkin’ long enough for me to know that the only people you get that mad at are your family, and you practically had a panic attack at the thought of Brucie findin’ out. Don’t worry, I ain’t a snitch.”

“Thank you. I- I don’t know how I feel about it yet. It’s overwhelming, and all I could hear was laughing the whole drive back.”

“Well, it sounds like you need an adjustment for your meds. I think we can increase 25mg and see how that works. In a month Ives and I will be outta here but we’re only gonna be an hour outta Gotham, so come visit me and if we need to adjust again we will. How does that sound?”

Jason sighed, “That sounds good. Thank you, Harls.”

“Anything for my fave birdie. I am also prescribing you a break from vigilante duties for at least a week. You will be adjusting to medication as well as whatever emotions that will be hitting you when it sinks in that the Joker is dead.”

Jason nodded slowly, internally thinking of the logistics, but not disagreeing. A week break sounded great, and if he was honest, long needed.

Harley wrapped her arms around him, “If you need anyone to talk to, who relates to what you are feeling, I’m here.”

“Same to you.”

Chapter Text

Tim could have gone straight back to Titans Tower. Some might even say he should have. However, a joyride around the outskirts of Gotham was too good to pass up. Euphoria filled his mind, and he drove his bike faster and faster. He dug his ipod (he wasn’t allowed his phone on missions for obvious reasons) out and scrolled through to find the best music to put on as he continued to speed up.

At around 125mph he took of his helmet and clipped it to the back of the motorcycle. The wind was so strong he felt like if he wasn’t careful he would fall off, and it only got stronger as he got up to 150mph. Then 160. He capped out at 180mph.

Tim recalled riding a bicycle when he was younger, and one of his friends teaching him how to ride with no hands. He then thought of the tactical advantages of being able to have your hands free. He then also thought of the fun, and at even the thought of it his heart started to beat faster.

Tim started slow at first, obviously, as he headed towards a particular road that was straight for miles leaving Gotham, and very few people used it. As soon as he got on that road, all bets were off. He raised his hands high for as long as possible, bringing them down to correct himself as his entire bike would start to fishtail. He then did it again, and again. And again, as he threw his hands up and this time, he threw his head up to look at the sky.

The stars were much clearer outside the city, and Tim even remembers going on a trip with his parents somewhere where they could see every star. He remembers almost crying as he was overwhelmed with the amount of stars, as his father explained that the sun was a star. For the next year he was obsessed with aliens and how many solar systems there had to be and what they would look like. Younger Tim would have never believed they would be dating a half alien. He closed his eyes for half a second.

They flew open as he found himself being catapulted off of the motorcycle at 180mph. Tims training kicked in, and covered his head and did his best to initiate rolls as he bounced off of the ground multiple times. He mentally catalogued his injuries as he felt them. He felt something in his shoulder shatter on impact, a hip, an ankle, and a knee all dislocated, another knee broke as well. A few ribs either broke or dislocated as well, though he wouldn’t be sure until later. He was lucky that he did not crash on the road, so there was no road rash, but he could feel cuts from rocks. He finally came to a stop as he slammed into a boulder.

Tims ears were ringing, and he almost definitely had a concussion. He slowly rolled himself onto his back, letting the adrenaline rush through him. His mind was running a million miles a second, but it kept coming back to the same thought.

‘I’m alive. I am alive. I lived. I’m alive.’

For some reason it was not a comforting thought. He felt tears come to his eyes as the pain and exhaustion set in. He was alive. He was okay, right? He should call Jason. No, he was pissed the last time they talked, and he was supposed to go to the tower. Maybe he could call Kon, and he wouldn’t even have to use the energy to grab his comm, just a shout would do.

Tim breathed in, pain shooting through his chest, but he couldn’t find it in himself to shout. He couldn’t call out for help. He didn’t even need help, maybe he didn’t deserve it. He was alive, he was alive, he was alive.

The more he repeated that same thought, the more Tim cried. He should have been happy, and he was? He survived the crash, and god the feeling of the wind, seeing the stars, flying, hitting the ground, it all felt so good. He wished he could do it again. That would be a good way to go.

That would be a good way to go, but he was alive. He had survived the crash, and now he was too injured to do much else but lay there. Tim should call out to someone, get help. He needs help. There could be internal bleeding, he had multiple broken bones, he shouldn’t move too much in case his neck or back got injured.

Despite all of the reasons to call for help, Tim didn’t. He was alive, and he was tired. Maybe he could take a nap, afterall, he would either die in his sleep or he would call for help in the morning. He didn’t have strong feelings for either one, so he closed his eyes and let himself drift off.

Chapter Text

Tim woke in more pain than he had drifted off with. His head was pounding and someone was screaming. Why was someone screaming?

“JASON JUST TELL ME WHERE TO FUCKING TAKE HIM AND I WILL!”

Oh, it was Kon. Oh. It was Kon.

Tim felt himself flying. Hair was blowing into his eyes, so even if he wanted to see where they were going he couldn’t. He was alive. Every breath felt like a stab to the lungs.

Something wet hit his face, and he became aware that Kon was sobbing as they rushed to..wherever Kon was taking him. Frustration bloomed in Tim’s chest. He should’ve just died. He can’t do anything right. If he had broken up with Kon properly, Kon wouldn’t have found him, and he would have died like he was supposed to.

Quickly they landed and Tim was laid on a bed. More accurately, a hospital bed. Tim had been in them enough to know the feeling, but as his hair fell out of his face, he noticed he wasn’t in a hospital. He wasn’t even at the Batcave. If Tim was correct, he was at Red Hood's base.

Suddenly, there were hands on him and Tim panicked. He didn’t have anything covering his face, but he could barely move. That didn’t stop him from trying to turn his head and move a hand to cover his face. A gentle hand stopped him.

“Don’t worry Jr, we’ve got you. Relax, there's a lot of damage. Red Sr. is on his way.”

Casey gently moved his head back into place and secured it with a brace. Others were handling his limbs, setting them, someone was checking his vitals, everyone was so gentle. Tears slipped out of his eyes without his consent.

Everything went fuzzy, they must’ve given him pain killers. Time slipped past and Tim could do nothing but lay there trying to focus, but his brain might as well have turned off. At some point he felt hands running through his hair, and he looked up to see Jason, crying and whispering to him. He wished he could focus enough to hear what he was saying.

A pit formed in his stomach and suddenly he was terrified. Tim wanted to ask where Kon was. He wanted to tell them things before he died. He wanted Konner to know how much Tim loved him, how he would give up his brain, his hands, everything that made him useful if it meant Kon was safe and happy.

Tim wanted to tell Jason that he was so sorry, that Jason was more of a parent to him than Bruce or Jack ever were and that he had thought about asking Jason to be his legal guardian more times than he could count. He wanted Jason to know that despite all of the ways that Jason thought he was broken, he was the only one Tim felt truly safe and secure and happy around. Tim was scared, and wanted his big brother to make everything better.

He couldn't say any of that. Everything went black.