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Life Aboard The Lady: A Guide to the Hierarchy of Lord Vader’s Favor, Sunshine Shenanigans, Near Treason, and Other Factors of the Unspoken Laws of The Executor

Summary:

Some crewmembers of the Executor write and maintain a handbook for new members.

Set in Jackdaw_Kraai's Guides Universe

Chapter 1: Table of Contents

Chapter Text

Life Aboard The Lady: A Guide to the Hierarchy of Lord Vader’s Favor, Sunshine Shenanigans, Near Treason, and Other Factors of the Unspoken Laws of The Executor

Version 2.3

Table of Contents

Introduction

Important People to Know

  • Lord Vader
  • Luke Lars
  • Zevulon Veers
  • Admiral Frimus Piett
  • General Maximillan Veers
  • Medic Kix
  • Commander Cody

Rules

  • Unofficial Hierarchy
  • Sunshine Shenanigans
  • Cultural Sensitivity
  • Alcohol Onboard
  • Near Tearson
  • General Rules

Warnings/Previous Incidents

  • The Massacre
  • The Gates
  • The Attack
    • The Poison

Suggestions

  • Fun as a coping mechanism
  • Places and Times to Avoid
  • Transfer Writing Guide

Cover of what "Life Aboard The Lady" looks like in the document that the crew gets, if it were ever in paper. It wouldn't have the "IMPORTANT" stamp on it in all likelihood, but I thought it would be fun to do a version with it.

LAtL Cover Stamped  LAtL Cover

Chapter 2: Introduction

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Hello, and welcome aboard the Executor. The following is a guide to help you navigate the somewhat unorthodox standard that is found on the Executor. No other ship in the Imperial Navy (or likely every, anywhere) functions like our Lady. The biggest reason is that no one else has Lord Vader or Luke Lars.

This document is in a consistent state of updating to allow for the best chance of survival. Most changes should be minor, as it has been redone post-Lars joining the crew. Should an overhaul be needed again, an email will be sent informing you of such.

If you have any additional warnings, rules, or information that you feel should be added, please email [email protected]

Chapter 3: People to Know

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Lord Darth Vader

The Black Death, Scourge of the Battlefields, Terror of the Galaxy, Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces, The Lady’s Shadow, and Heir Presumptive, Darth Vader is known by many names. He has earned all of them, and the stories of his feats and powers you were told as a child are true.

Many will attest to having seen Lord Vader stop blaster shots with a wave of his hand, levitate objects, and choke people from across the room or through holocalls. He is not a man to be trifled with.

What the stories don’t tell you is that Lord Vader values hard work and honesty. He never takes his anger out on those who have not earned it, making The Lady one of the only ships in the Navy to follow ‘don’t shoot the messenger to a T. He dislikes boot kissers and suckups, as it means that someone is compromising quality of work in favor of flattering him.

Vader is also incredibly fond of Head Engineer Luke Lars, with the only thing outweighing his fondness being his protectiveness over the young man. While the exact relationship between them is unknown, Lord Vader acts very parental towards Lars and seems quite proud of that fact. Disrespecting, upsetting, or hurting the Engineer is a sure way to get yourself on Lord Vader’s bad side.


Head Engineer Luke Lars

Referred to by many on the ship as ‘The Lady’s Sun’ ‘The Shadow’s Temprence’, and ‘The Uncrowned Prince’, Luke Lars makes waves wherever he goes. Not even 20-year-olds, and creating mechanical marvels, Lars hails from Tatooine and is proud of his Outer Rim origins.

He is cheerful and disregards most traditional priorities in favor of openness, physical affection, and jokes. When Lars decides you need an extra dose of happiness, it is referred to as ‘the sunshine treatment.’ Resisting it is futile. The only thing that may be more so is trying to stop Lars when he has a presentation to give.

Despite all this, Lars is a brilliant young man who has reconfigured the onboard laboratory and reinvented two dozen technologies to make it do what he wants. Molecular engineering within a month is child’s play for him. Lars is a visionary who never stops inventing or working to improve things.

Lars is also ‘the uncrowned prince’ as Lord Vader favors him to an extent that has never been seen, and has a distinct fatherly tone to it. It is agreed upon both on The Lady and her sister ships, that if Lars were to give an order and it was not followed, Lord Vader would deal punishment as if he or the emperor had been denied.


Zevulon Veers

Lars' Personal Aid and Secretary, Zevulon, will be referred to as either Zev or Veers Jr. Despite his connection to General Veers, he did not get his position through his name. In fact, General Veers strongly opposed Veers Jr. working with Lars as it put him in close proximity to Lord Vader. Lars offered the job to Veers Jr. without his father knowing, and went straight to Lord Vader to finalize the contract. General Veers has since come around to the idea and is very supportive of the boys' friendship. 

As Lars' Personal Aid, Zev helps manage Lars' schedule, keeps Lars up to date on the latest news, and guides Lars on Core world etiquette and behaviors. Veers Jr. is Lars' representative whenever the Head Engineer is not present and, when acting in that role, is treated as Lars is. Unless otherwise stated by Lars or Lord Vader, anything from Zev is treated as if Lars had said it. Even when Veers Jr. is not acting as Lars' representative, he should be treated with respect, as both Lars and General Veers are protective of him. 

Veers Jr. sometimes goes on passionate rants that border on treason. This is normal and should not be reported. Nothing is going to be done. Veers Jr. is not going to betray Lars; he is just trying to work through how nothing is perfect and how to make things better for the Outer Rim. We can not stress enough that Veers Jr. is not going to betray Lars and, by extension, the Empire. 'Their fates are tied together,' according to Lord Vader. Veers Jr. is not in a romantic relationship with Lars, despite what the above statement implies. 


Admiral Frimus Piett 

The latest and current Admiral of the Excutor, Piett, has a sabbac face that could beat a stone wall. Even before his promotion to Admiral, Piett was the one doing most of the running of a ship. His promotion was well deserved. Despite his workalochi tendeies and stoic appreaince Admiral Piett is snarky and an adirinal junkie. He matches Lars' and Lord Vader's temperaments and skills well. 

Admial Peitt started his career as a pirate hunter in the outer rim. His skills were impressive enough that Lord Vader moved him to Death Squadron personally. His history means that he is one of the most competent fighters in the Navy, though he doesn't often get the chance to show it. He, like Lars, is proud of his heritage and has qualms about bringing it up or showing its influence on him. Because of this, do not attempt to take the Admiral's food. It is extremely spicy. The last person who did that ended up in the medical ward for three days with burns all along his mouth. It is also unwise to make jabs at the Admiral's height, as he is very open about the fact that he is willing to bite anyone who does. 


General Maxillium Veers 

Iron Max, General, and father, Maxillium Veers, is a no-nonsense man with impeccable standards. General  Veers works closely with Admiral Piett and the 501st Legion. Despite his cool demeanor, he cares deeply for his men, and for both Head Engineer Lars and Veers Jr. He helped Lars with the SUTA project during the month that it was in development. He was also the one who implemented the NDA on the project after learning Lars had not. Lord Vader also requested his presence when searching for Lars during the incident on Kaut (see the warning section for details), which is a testament to the man's skills. There are lonely two things that can shake the General for long. 

General Veers may sometimes walk around with a dazed look. He is usually very good at covering it, but on occasion, he fails. When this happens, it means that Lars or Piett has been messing with him (usually with brutal honesty). It may also mean that Veers Jr. did something to give his father a heart attack. If you happen to stumble upon General Veers in this state, off him a drink of water and ask what you should be doing. Giving orders helps snap him out of it. 

General Veers does not handle spice or extreme sports (such as being in a speeder driven by Lord Vader) well. Do not mention either of these things around him. He is more straight-laced than Admiral Piett and will not respond well to them. Do not mention his wife or speak badly about his son. 


Medic Kix 

A veteran clone from the Clone Wars, Medic Kix is Lord Vader's personal surgeon as well as one of (if not the best) medical personnel on The Lady. He seems to hold a lot of sway over all of the Vod'e, regardless of occupation. If you suspected Head Engineer Lars or Darth Vader of being injured and refusing to take care of it, comm Medic Kix. He will be able to deal with it. Along that vein, never stand between Medic Kix and the people he is trying to care for. 

Medic Kix has nerves and a stomach of steel. He is also very understanding of the trauma that such sights result in for those who do not possess his caliber. Never feel bad about reaching out to Kix for help on how best to deal with such things. (The one exception to this rule is if he actively caring for a patient.) 


Commander Cody 

Another veteran of the Clone Wars, Commander Cody is one of the people in charge of Head Engineer Lars' security detail (The other is Commander Appo, but he is a bit more awkward than his brother) and takes his job very very seriously. Commander Cody is often the one who corrals the rest of Lars' security detail when they get off topic. He takes Lars' role and placement as the Vod'e's Goran seriously (all the Vod'e do, but somehow he and Appo feel like they treat it heavier than the others.)

While he seems more composed and poised than some of his siblings, Cody has a playful side, as well as a violent side. The latter only really appears when Lars or one of the other Vod’e is in danger. If you find yourself on shore and you can’t find your commanding officer, General Veers, or Admiral Piett, Commander Cody is a solid bet to go to for advice or orders. 

Chapter 4: Unofficial Hierarchy 

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There is the official hierarchy of the Imperial Armed Forces, and then there is the Lady's hierarchy based on Lord Vader's favor. This hierarchy is just as important, if not more so, than the official one. Attempting to rise in the unofficial hierarchy is a good way to fall within its ranks. Darth Vader values hard work, competence, and results more than anything. Striving for those is how you rise through the favor ranks. 

Treating those higher than you well will not gain you anything, but it will also prevent you from falling. Disrespecting or hurting those above you is a very good way to end up near the bottom. Many of the crew members are in a middle area where the details of the ranking are unimportant. Only those higher up or much lower down are ever really aware of where they are. As best anyone can figure out, the current order of Lord Vader's Favored is:

  1. Luke Lars 
  2. Adrimal Piett 
  3. Medic Kix 
  4. Commander Cody 
  5. Veers Sr. and Jr. 
  6. A great many of the clones 
  7. Everyone else. 

Currently, there is no one on the lower end of the ranking, as all who possessed those ranks were involved in The Massacre (see the warning section for more information) 

Should anyone drop to the point of being noticeably lower, we will update the list. We will not, however, send out an email informing you that it has been done. If you are going to survive on The Lady, you will need to be able to pick up on these types of things. Don't worry, though. It should be very obvious when it happens. Lord Vader has never been one to hide his displeasure with people, even less so after The Massacre. 

Chapter 5: Sunshine Shenanigans

Summary:

This section is dedicated to helping prepare crewmembers to navigate a life that includes Luke Lars

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The Royals' Language 

Lars and Lord Vader sometimes speak or argue in a strange language none of us knows. Don't ask about it. They won't tell you anything. Do not attempt to mimic the language; they both find it extremely offensive. Also, Lars is the only one who has the standing to argue with Lord Vader like that. There may be a few people who have the ability to have more polite debates with Lord Vader. However, if you are reading this, you are not one of them. Do not try. 


The Mouse Dorids

There are several dozen white mouse droids with different markings on them. They belong to Lars and are extensions of his work. They help with minor repairs and should be treated with respect, the same way you would Lars. The mouse droids always have Lars' location, so if you need to find him and he's not in his office, workshop, or answering his comms, find one and ask it to take you to him. Lars has gotten better about this the longer he has been aboard The Lady, but sometimes he still goes MAI in the vents.


 The Vents

Along that line, Lars likes to travel via the vents. Even the ones that he should not be able to fit into. If you hear banging from them, take the date, time, and location and send it to Engineer Lyvon. They are the former Head Engineer and act as Lars' second in the Engineering Corps. You may also hear humming or cursing coming from the vents. Unless it is clearly not his voice, assume it is Lars.

If there are inhuman scraping sounds and snarling, it's more likely that some kind of creature has gotten into the vents. Send Engineer Lyvon a message at once, with 'the beast has returned'. They will be able to figure out if it was Lars or if it was something else. 

Do not engage with whatever is in the vents unless you are completely and utterly sure it is Lars.

No matter how confident you are in your ability to handle it. It could be anything from a loth cat to an Anooba to Z'Rakkon. We have no idea how they keep getting onto the ship, but they do. Do not engage. Lord Vader or Lars will handle it. On the off chance they don't, it will be handled by one or more of the clones, in full SUTA armor, who have been trained on how to do this. Should a creature fall out of the vents, immediately send a message to the bridge with the code 2WL3wt41fH and 'IT'S LOSE', along with what the creature was. If you couldn't make out what it was, include 'UFC'

We’re not actually sure how this is connected to Lars, but it didn’t happen before he got here, and he seems sheepish a fair amount of the time when the animals are found out. Even if it’s one that he literally could not have had a part in getting on the ship. He mutters about singing sometimes when it happens. The current theory is that somehow Lar’s voice draws creatures to him, but we have no solid evidence to suggest so.


The Cult 

There is something of a small cult dedicated to Lars on the ship. He is not aware of it, nor should you make him aware of it. The main way this manifests is the small white candles or giving Lars small trinkets or the like, while making sure he is aware that it was you who gave it to him. The belief is that, given how good a memory Lars has paired with his gift for reading people, giving him something with your name attached to it will result in him remembering you and giving you an extra dose of sunshine when you need it. It should be noted that you do not have to give offerings for this to happen. Nor do the offerings guarantee that you will get extra Sunshine Treatment. Head Engineer Lars does as he wishes, and no one knows that until he does it. 


The Musicals

Lars sometimes convinces people to have improper musical numbers when working. Just roll with it. If he asks if you play an instrument and you tell him yes, he will ask you to play it during one of these. We do not know how he always manages to get them to wherever he is so fast, but he does. If you feel like you do not play well enough to perform, inform Lars of that, without downplaying your own skills too much. If he thinks you are talking down about yourself, he will start dosing you with extreme amounts of Sunshine Treatment and insist you play to prove to yourself that you are good at it. (Somehow, you will play your best when it happens, even if as soon as Lars leaves, you can't play a halfway decent 'hot cross buns'.)


The Living Lie Detector 

Never try to lie to Lars. He is much like Lord Vader in that he can pick out lies like a bloodhound. If you think you've gotten away with it, you haven't. He just didn't think it was important enough to mention. There is a chance he will mention this to Lord Vader or one of the clones. From there, there is a 50/50 shot of them looking into things to assure that the initial lie isn’t connected to a larger and more dangerous thing.


The Gossip Adversion 

Lars isn't very fond of gossip. Not in a sense that no one likes being the center of gossip, or even that he morally opposed it. He just does not like it and thinks it's very rude. He tolerates it for the most part, because he knows it's a key part of how politics and the core worlds function, even if he dislikes it. However, asking Lars if he would like to be informed of things that are clearly not right to tell people will set him off. He will cooly reject the offer and likely avoid you for quite some time. He will be in a bad mood following that, and being the cause of Lar's bad moods is never a good thing. This does not mean you can't share things with Lars. He is perfectly fine with that, assuming you have the right to be sharing it. 

Chapter 6: Cultural (and other things) Sensitivity

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The Clones

The clones refer to Lars as 'Goran' or 'armor'. It is a part of Mandalorian, which the clones chose to practice due to their Mandalorian blood. We're not privy to everything that means, but we do know it means the clones hold him in extremely high regard.

It seems the only person who is higher in their eyes is Lord Vader, though the pair might actually be tied. Do not disrespect this aspect of the relationship between them. At best, you get cultural sensitivity training. At worst, you either die or spend several years recovering from the broken bones.

In the same vein, the clones will speak Mando’a to each other, and that's fine. Do not kick up a fuss over it. You are not privy to know everything they talk about, and if it really bugs you that much, you can look stuff up.

Do not try to talk down to the clones or stop them from doing things because they did not have rights when they were first made. Legally, they still don’t, but as far as Vader and themselves are concerned, they do. Attempting to use the fact that they don’t have legal rights the way other humans do to your advantage will result in your death at the hands of Lord Vader. It is also just a horrible thing to do.

Do not bring up the Clone Wars to any of the clones. They don't want to talk about it, and if you mention it to one, all of them will find out. 


The Outer Rim

Admiral Piet likes extraordinarily spicy food from his home world. He will not hear anything about it. 

Both Lars and the Admiral can eat an impressive amount for their size. Do not make jokes about them being malnourished or needing it because they didn't have any growing up. For so many reasons.

You do not know more about the Outer Rim than someone who comes from it. You do not know more about slavery than the people who have seen it firsthand. You should not act like you do. You will get called out, and no one is going to side with you.

If you want to learn about the Outer Rim or any other culture you have discovered while talking to a member of that culture, you can. In fact, Lars encourages it. But do so respectfully, and do not start fights over it. If you are told something that counters what you have been told, mention the confusion and explain where you heard it. The person who has lived and experienced whatever is being talked about supersedes all other sources, unless that source is another person who lived it. 

Some religions are open to having new members, and you may join them. Others are closed and are not. Do not attempt to join them or insist that you should be allowed to. We're not quite sure why this is such a big deal to Lord Vader and Head Engineer Lars, but it is.  If you join an open relationship, be respectful and sincere in your joining. Doing so with ill intentions will get you a verbal and possibly physical beating from Lars and Veers Jr., if not anyone else.


General

It is rare, but sometimes people with nonhuman blood will get hired onto The Lady. This is because Lord Vader finds the Xenophobic aspects of the Empire’s beliefs to be a hindrance. He does not openly and freely state so to the public, but when possible, he will assign the most qualified person to a task, regardless of species, age, sex, or religion. You should follow Lord Vader’s example, and if you can’t find it in yourself to do so at the moment, then keep your mouth shut. 

Stereotyping people based on age, race, gender, sexuality, religion, planet, or any other related things is considered offensive. It doesn't matter if you only do it in your head. Lord Vader can read minds, and depending on his mood, how offensive he finds it, and how long it's been going on, he will decide if he does something about it. We suggest simply not getting into the habit of it, or breaking the habit if it already exists. 

Chapter 7: Near Treason

Summary:

For being on the Flagship of the Empire, there is a lot of conversations that skirt the edge of treason. Here’s the breakdown of the most common topics and why you shouldn’t be worried about it.

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Slavery

Slavery is a horrible, vile thing that sadly still afflicts a large part of the Outer Rim. Unsurprisingly, Admiral Piett and Head Engineer Lars strongly oppose slavery on a much more personal level than most. A sentiment that is shared by Lord Vader and Veers Jr. Lord Vader and Admiral Piett are somewhat more subtle about their distaste. They only really make it known in depth when others broach the topic. Luke and Veers Jr. do not have any qualms about voicing their opinion. Veers Jr. is somewhat more likely to go off on the topic, but Lars is no less passionate about it.

Lars does not shy away from how bad slavery is, having witnessed it firsthand. He will often say things that boil down to ‘I don’t support most of what the empire does, but the credits I send home help fight the Hutts’, ‘The republic, the empire, the rebellion, it doesn’t matter what is in charge to Tatooine. They’re all utterly useless when it comes to helping us, or ‘The rebellion is not enough of a problem to put off trying to eliminate slavery. There have been dozens, if not hundreds, of cultural practices that the Empire has managed to erase or minimize from other cultures. It’s just that people have decided ending slavery isn’t worth trying to end because it could get messy. The rebellion is just an excuse.’

All four men are in agreement that the galaxy would be a much better place if slavery did not exist and that the fact that it is still around is proof that the empire isn’t perfect.

This may set off alarm bells in your head as treason, but it's not. The galaxy would be better if slavery weren’t a thing, if it were fair and safe for everyone. It is just unusual to hear people talk about it because it makes them feel bad about the fact that they can’t or won’t do more. Lord Vader, while not politically inclined, is in a position to change that. Lars is slowly rising to a similar place. Admiral Piett and Veers Jr. are their more politically aware partners in this endeavor.


Extreme Force

Veers Jr. sometimes gets triggered by the force that the Empire’s armed forces use. This can result in him going off on lectures or rants about how cruel and unnecessary it is. He will often point out that feeling trapped between compliance and brutalization is what leads people to join the rebellion, as they think it’s the only way to make a difference.

Lars holds a similar position, with the exception that extreme force is needed, but only in certain situations. He holds that most of the time, the Empire does not need the level of force used. This is referenced in Lord Vader’s recent change from killing officers who fail him to demoting them, which aligns with Lars’ arrival.

While we don’t know the details of why the extreme force used is such a sensitive topic for Veers Jr. it is assumed that he has lost friends to the rebellion, which was caused by them being frightened by the force. This would explain why he is so passionate about lowering the level of force used both in preventing rebellions and in dealing with them. 


Lack of Action

Both Head Engineer Lars and Veers Jr. will critique how the Empire deals with the Outer Rim, or rather, how it doesn’t. This is not an attack on individuals in the Empire. It is merely them observing the difference between the treatment the Core and Middle Rim get versus the Outer Rim. It is simply true that the Empire is less involved in the Outer Rim than other places. Lars, as well as Admiral Piett, have many stories to tell about how the lack of the Empire’s presence has allowed slavers, pirates, and other lowlifes to run amok. It is an issue that the Empire means to address, and there is nothing wrong with them wishing it would be addressed sooner than than later. 

Chapter 8: Alcohol Onboard 

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It may be tempting to drink a lot to cope with everything. A great many officers do. However, they limit themselves to anywhere between two figures too 2 glasses. Off duty, they may indulge up to 5. We recommend that you follow this example, assuming you have an arranged tolerance for alcohol

Lars does not have an arranged alcohol tolerance. He needs enough to knock out a batha to get drunk. Do not attempt to get him drunk, nor use this as a reason to request crates and crates of alcohol. Lord Vader looks over all the supply requests himself. 

Admiral Piett, General Veers and Veers Jr. may request as much alcohol as they like, and will happily take any offer as a gift. However, if you do give it to them, please send a notice to Lord Vader and Medic Kix. They keep an eye on how much the three have access too to ensure it does not become an issue.

Do not let General Veers find out if you give his son alcohol. He may understand the desire and the fact that sometimes it's basically a need when working closely with Lord Vader and Head Engineer Lars, but that doesn’t mean he likes the fact that his son has access to so much of it. 

Chapter 9: General Rules 

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  • If Lord Vader starts talking about the Force or the Dark or some other magical power, just nod. We have no idea what he has access to but he does have powers,and it's none of our business what he calls them
  • Lord Vader can choke people without touching them, stop blaster bolts in mid-air, levitate things, and very likely can read minds. Do not panic if you see any of these things. In the case of choking, DO NOT get involved. 
  • The officer lounge, rec rooms, and other entertainment areas are no drama zones. Any beef or schemes will be left behind at the doors or you will get banned
  • If Lord Vader doesn't say anything about people fraternizing with other crew members, be it of a higher, equal, or lower rank, you don't either.
  • No attempting to set Head Engineer Lars or Admiral Piett up with people. They dislike it more than the average person. 
  • Selling information on any member of the crew, but especially Lars, to the press is a horrible idea. It also shows a lack of common sense. Do not be that stupid. If you do, you deserve whatever happens to you.
  • Loud bangs and small explosions coming from Lars’ workshop or designated testing room may or may not be a cause for concern. If they happen between 23:30 and 7:00, you should be concerned and inform one of the Vod'e, Veers Sr., Piett, or Lord Vader. Any other time it is fine (usually)
  • If Lars randomly grabs things that he shouldn't with his right hand, do not scream. It is a prosthetic. If he has gloves on it can be hard to remember, but it is. Screaming just freaks him out. Lars freaking out is always bad, but made even worse when he's holding something that is red hot, sub freezing, spinning rapidly to shred flesh, ect. 
  • This warning goes for all the Engineers. They might not have ridiculously tough prosthetics, but they know what they are doing. Do not startle them.
  • Harassing others based on age, race, religion, gender, sexuality, clothing, speech patterns, or anything else along a similar vein will not be tolerated 
  • Pets are not permitted on The Lady. This applies to all animals, not just various types of canines and felines. Fish, frogs, crabs, birds, reptiles and mice, hamsters, and small unidentifiable alien creatures are counted as pets. 
  • Please do not refer to Lars as a small unidentifiable alien creature. The fact that he thinks it's funny does not matter. Lord Vader does not.