Chapter Text
At first, Buck wonders if the little girl is another hallucination. The girl is in an adorably puffy dress, but Buck can’t tell what color her dress or hair is. It keeps shifting. A swirl of colors and light indicating a power the closet can’t truly contain.
“Don’t hurt me!” The girl screams when they lock eyes. Buck had heard her speak. She’s real. She has to be real.
“No, no, don’t worry, we’re here to help,” Buck promises, looking at a way-too-shiny Tex next to him for support.
“Yeah, we’re superheroes!” Tex exclaims.
“Superheroes?” she stutters. “Do you think you could help me?”
“That seems like what we do,” Buck decides. “What’s your name?”
“Vera,” she reveals. “And I think I have superpowers too. I think I’m doing this to all of them. And to you. But I don’t want to be. I don’t want this. I can’t control it.”
“I understand,” Buck realizes as his mind sloshes around. “When I first got my lightning I couldn’t control it. It just flew out of me like those little birds in the air and destroyed quite a few big little expensive things. It took me a long time to get a handle on it. It’s not your fault this is happening. It’s scary but it’s normal. Right, Tex?”
“Yes,” Tex whispers, his eyes focusing and unfocusing like he’s seeing something he doesn’t want to.
“I’m trying to fight it,” Vera confirmed.
“You can’t,” Tex declares, his eyes still somewhere else. “I tried to fight it, I tried not to use it, I tried to lock it up but you can’t. It’s a part of you and you have to let yourself feel it. It’s part of who you are. You can’t compart— compartment— mentify...put it in a compartment.” He looks proud of himself.
“But I’m scared,” Vera panics, as the fringes of Buck’s vision twist.
“Whoa, whoa,” Tex says. “Just take a deep breath and try to feel it in your mind. Be brave and take a deep breath, you’ll be okay. Can you do that?”
She nods. Tex and Vera take a deep breath. Buck feels left out so he does one too. Vera’s face turns into a flower for a second, but Buck blinks it away. He’s still seeing things.
“Now close your peepers and follow my inbrushtions,” Tex slurs, looking like he’s desperately trying to hold onto his own mind. “Instructions. Don’t push anything away don’t hold back just try and find where in your mind and body this power is coming from. Really let yourself feel and undershand every part of you. You–you feel it?”
After a second of more breathing, Vera perks up. “It’s like this headache in the back of my head.”
“Okay, now feel it, don’t push it away. And when you can really feel it, then you can be free. And turn it down like the A/C.”
Buck watches the shifting tapestry that is Tex and Vera inhale and exhale the golden pixie dust that Buck keeps seeing swirl around them. Eventually, tension escapes Vera’s body and she starts to smile. Buck doesn’t fully understand what’s happening but he thinks whatever she did might have worked.
“I think I did it,” Vera exclaims. “I think I stopped it. Thank you.”
Buck is absolutely enchanted with how Tex just calmed her down. It was so sweet. So beautiful. He must be a really good dad to his kids. He can’t believe he ever didn’t like Tex. He’s so perfect. So caring. And a really good hero. Buck never wants him to go away.
Buck quiets his mind as Tex starts talking again. “It’s scary, to lose control. But you discover new things anyway and you have to go with it. You have to open yourself up to seeing the world and yourself from a new perspective.”
“Wow, that was so beautiful,” Buck half-sobs. “Can you say that again?”
“Say what?” Tex asks, completely sincere. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Neither did I.”
“Whoa.”
“Bye bye, little girl,” Buck says as they walk down the hallway back toward the large room.
Chimney is standing there guiding people outside of the building with the help of that vigilante with the black armor that Buck can never remember the name of.
“Good news, we saved the day,” Buck announces.
“Oh, here come these two,” Chimney groans. “But I think they’re right, I can’t sense that signal I think was causing this anymore.”
“But they’re still clearly…feeling it,” the vigilante points out.
“Yeah, I imagine like real drugs it’s gonna take a while for the effects to wear off,” Chimney explains. “They’ll be like this for a while. It might even get worse before it gets better.”
“How come it didn’t affect you?” Blackbird asks Chimney as they walk over to Buck with special-looking handcuffs in their hands.
“I think my mental powers and unique brain must’ve made me immune somehow.”
“I see.”
Hen wanders over, clearly as messed up as Buck and Tex. “Doesn’t it smell like love in here?” she asks.
Buck ponders this. Yes. It does smell like love here. He’s not sure why. He swivels around looking for the source but only Tex and the others are around him.
The armored person starts handcuffing them as Chimney stands guard. Hen first, then Buck, and finally Tex, who is not having a good reaction.
“What’s going on?” Tex whines, tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t like this.”
“Calm down,” Chim urges. “One of our guys from HQ is going to drive you all home. It’ll be alright.”
Chim and the vigilante walk them outside toward a black car with very tinted windows. As they approach, Buck spots that reporter Taylor Kelly and her team pointing a camera upward. Buck looks up and sees the jet still hovering way up there. It looks like the ramp is open and some guy too blurry to make out is standing at the end of it. Buck doesn’t know what is going on and is more interested in the glowing sparkling purple caterpillars dancing on the sidewalk.
“What the–” Chim says, facing upward. After he and the vigilante dump Buck, Tex, and Hen in the back of the car, they start running toward the reporters. Whatever’s going on, Buck’s sure they will fix it.
Buck plays with the floating balls of light in the air while the car zips around. He can’t properly tell how fast they’re going because the windows are so tinted that it makes it hard to see anything at all. Not that he’d know what he’s seeing in this state anyway. Hen keeps bursting into a fit of giggles and then seriously starts playing with what looks like a purple moose or rainbow goose in her hand. It feels so bright and loud and colorful in the pitch-black car so Buck can’t understand how Tex keeps nodding off. Every time he falls asleep he wakes back up 15 seconds later. This is really making Buck sad and his tears are filling up the car with water so Buck puts his hand on Tex’s leg to comfort him. Whoa, his hand is bigger than the entire car.
The driver drops off Hen first. He notices that Tex’s limbs are changing shape and size which must be very scary for him and he still looks sad, so Buck puts his head on Tex’s shoulder to calm him down. Their bodies start to merge a bit but Buck doesn’t care. It actually feels incredible in a unique way he thinks he should recognize.
As Tex falls asleep on Buck’s shoulder, Buck starts to think that his powers are activating because he feels so electrified. He shoots some lightning out of his fingers to test it but no, that feels completely different. It must be all that electricity zipping around in the air. How long has that been there?
Buck blinks and Tex’s body is lying across the car seat and on top of him. Buck must’ve nodded off for a couple of minutes for them to switch like this but Buck likes it. Buck likes them holding each other like this, Tex’s weight on his. It reminds him of flying.
He rubs his hands up and down Tex’s body and it feels so nice. It doesn’t have the same fuzzy purple spiky feeling that everything else has right now. It feels warm, like a campfire or a spicy pepper. It’s making Buck feel super cozy now and the feeling of Tex’s weight keeps him feeling more and more soothing and electric. It makes his pants feel like they’re hugging him tighter too, which Buck likes. Buck must’ve been really cold, because he keeps getting warmer the longer he feels him. He should hold onto Tex tighter to make him feel even warmer.
After many glorious moments holding him like that, a voice appears next to him telling him something about getting out, but he doesn’t want to get out. He wants to just stay like this forever until he ascends into the clouds. Buck doesn’t even think the person will be able to pull him off of Tex because their bodies are merged now, but they somehow manage to. Buck wants to turn around and go back, but he’s being directed through doors into a very strange-looking apartment. He decides he doesn’t like it much. Wait, this is his apartment. No, not his apartment. Abby’s.
He doesn’t like Abby anymore. He doesn’t want Abby anymore. She doesn’t want him. That truth had been locked inside of Buck, but everything inside is spilling out of him now. Including the fact that he does want something. But what?
He can’t shake the feeling of Tex’s body on his. The weight of him lingers, the shape of his muscles still echoing on Buck’s hands. It’s like he’s still there, still with him, and Buck likes it. Buck wants it. And with each deafening, technicolor thump of the wall clock’s second hand, Buck begins to need it.
Buck needs to lie down. The apartment is too unsteady, too fluid, too foreign, and it’s overwhelming. His pants are too tight. He needs to take them off, throwing them on the floor as he stumbles into the bedroom. But his dick is still pressing against his boxers. He needs—no, he needs to lie down. But when he throws himself on the bed it feels like him . He turns and looks and for a second he sees him and his body cries out.
Buck can’t think. Can’t breathe. The mattress feels like Tex’s body, the sheets cascade in the shape of his skin, the pillows mimic the softness of his face, his phantom stubble poking at Buck’s finger tips. Imagination is reality when Tex’s fingers grab Buck’s hand, sliding up Buck’s arm until he wraps his arm around Buck’s body. Buck hears his lips brush against his ear, his breath on Buck’s neck, his hair falling on Buck’s cheek. And when his legs entwine with Buck’s, Buck’s hand shoots down, grabs his dick, and pulls as his moans color the air.
And then all he feels is Tex’s body against him. Buck feels his abs as he thrashes against them, his chest as Buck buries his face in it, and he feels Tex’s lips exploring his body, drawing tingling lines of pleasure and color and leaving permanent marks on Buck’s desires and soul.
And maybe there’s a voice in the back of his head telling him something’s up or something’s not normal. But it feels so normal and so free that he doesn’t care. No feelings are bottled up anymore or ignored, he’s feeling everything all at once. And then he starts to see.
He sees Tex’s eyes and Tex’s lips and all of the parts of him that Buck has never seen before but have been just beneath his touch. He sees his hands and his shoulders and his waist and his legs and his–
And Buck needs–he needs–he needs–he–needs–he has to—
Buck sits up and lets the weight of Tex fall onto the bed. Buck falls back onto his knees and pulls a pillow beneath him before letting his own weight fall onto Tex’s. His body presses against the pillow, the mattress, and Tex. His hands frame Tex’s body as Buck leans down to kiss him and moves his hips. Buck can smell him now, his mouth and lungs filling with the taste of him. Buck moans and lightning shoots from Buck’s fingers. He can’t tell if it’s real or not. He doesn’t care. He just keeps thrusting his hips, pressing himself against Tex’s imagined body in a way Buck can’t even fully understand.
The room shifts and Buck falls. Suddenly the fantasy changes and Buck is laying flat on his back with Tex leaning over him and Buck is tugging on his dick faster and faster, moans pushing out of him every second. But then it’s not Buck’s hand anymore, it’s Tex’s. Disorienting heat flushes Buck’s face and pumps through his body. Buck loses himself in Tex’s eyes. Loses himself in the feeling of Tex’s body. And when Tex lets go of Buck and presses his own dick against his, Buck loses himself, going over the edge with a desperate scream.
All of Buck’s senses are numbed by gratifying staticky warmth. A feeling of absolute freedom escapes his soul, and Buck’s face hurts from smiling as he falls off the bed.
Buck is on the floor. Light strains his tired eyes as it streams in through the window. It’s much brighter outside than it usually is when Buck gets up. Did he oversleep? He feels unbelievably rested for having slept on the floor. He’s lucky he managed to bring a pillow down with him but his butt hurts and his back—
Oh. My. God.
No. No-no-no-no no no—no.
Buck remembers everything. Buck remembers what happened, what he saw, and what he felt…inside and out. Tex. Even just thinking his name feels different, like a floodgate he didn’t realize he was holding shut has opened and the waters have reshaped the canyons of his mind. And now he sees, he knows what he really wants and nothing is going to stop him from knowing that. For a second he’s angry. He’s mad that the kid did this to him, wishing he never went on that mission. And then that second passes and Buck knows that this was inevitable, but the trip just sped things along.
Buck knows the implications of this. He likes guys. He’s into guys. He’s still into girls but…not just girls. It had been a reoccurring thought in the back of Buck’s head, but he has always excused it as just being really close friends with some guys or really liking who they are. Buck doesn’t even know Tex’s real name. He hasn’t even seen his unmasked face. Before it can even try, Buck’s mind gives up trying to twist this in knots to rationalize it as closeness because he’s not close with Tex. Not really.
Buck stands up and stares at the aftermath strewn across the room. He grimaces at stains on the sheets. Buck tries to stop his racing mind as he scrabbles the items across his room into an orderly state. His mind doesn’t stop.
It’s just cause he’s lonely, right? Abby’s been gone for so long and he hasn’t been with anyone for so long. Right? That must be it. He’s not actually into Tex in any real way, is he? But he hasn’t really been into anyone else. He hasn’t even been thinking about her that way in a while.
Buck tries to distract himself by thinking about cleaning or literally anything else but it’s quite hard to get over the fact that he furiously jerked off to a man in his girlfriend’s bedroom in his girlfriend’s apartment and he really loved it. God, everything has fallen apart hasn’t it? Buck can’t help but feel that he might be screwed. What is he going to do?
After realizing that he has no idea what actually ended up happening yesterday, Buck tries to call Bobby. It’s his best idea for a distraction yet, but he can’t get a hold of him. Instead he calls Athena, Bobby’s cop girlfriend, who has also become Buck’s friend since Buck learned Bobby’s secret identity. She explains that everything worked out, and the young girl, who they’ve been calling “Miss Vertigo,” is getting the superhuman counseling help she needs. Buck breathes a sigh of relief when she reveals the whole team’s okay, but his heart drops when she reveals that Bobby was hit with one of Miss Vertigo’s trips and almost ended up taking his own life. Apparently, Athena had to be called in and talked Bobby down by speaking to him over comm. Buck knows Bobby’s a former addict and understands how hard it must have been for him. But mostly Buck is glad everything’s okay and going back to normal.
“There is one more problem, however,” Athena adds over the phone. “That reporter, Taylor Kelly, is airing her segment on The 118th Legion today. And she was there, filming the whole trip…incident, including Bobby on that ledge.”
“Is…is she gonna air that footage?” Buck asks.
“I don’t know. Bobby’s worried she will. It’s going to air in about ten minutes if you want to find out.”
Buck lets Athena get back to her job while waiting for the segment to air, moving to the living room and turning on the TV. When it finally airs, everything seems to be okay, if a little boring. Some of the team’s incredibly vague interviews are included, but most of it is just footage of them doing stuff that looks important in HQ that’s dubbed over with interviews from citizens expressing their gratitude for what the team does. An interview with Vera is even included.
“Those superheroes, the Buck guy and the Silver Soldier, helped me so much,” Vera says to Taylor in the clip. “I want to say thank you to them.”
That makes Buck’s heart melt. Eventually, the segment ends with no footage of them tripping or of Bobby, and Buck is grateful for that.
What if Taylor Kelly didn’t include it cause she likes Buck? They talked yesterday about how much Bobby means to Buck so…maybe? I mean, she’s pretty. She seems cool. And she’s a much more realistic option than Buck’s male superhero colleague whose real identity is unknown to him and who’s ostensibly straight. Maybe he could finally move on from Abby, and jump back into the dating pool by asking Taylor out. In his desperation, Buck pointedly fails to realize that he would have to either reveal his secret identity to a reporter or be ‘Lightning Buck’ the whole time they date. He finds and calls her number, breathing a sigh of relief when she answers. Buck explains that he’s calling to congratulate her on her segment, trying his best to sound enthusiastic.
“I'm happy for you,” Buck says. “And I wanted to thank you for what you did for Bobby, not using any of that stuff that happened to him.”
“I wanted to use all of it, I got overruled,” Taylor drops on him casually.
“Uh, wait... you were gonna use it?”
“Oh yeah. The only reason we didn't is because apparently your lawyers are scarier than ours.”
She tries to explain that it’s her job and she has to do what she can to ‘make it’ but Buck isn’t having any of it. His anger and frankly, despair he had been feeling are now compounded, joined by a feeling of dread.
“You don't have to like it, but you don't get to make me feel bad about it,” Taylor declares.
“Well, I don't like it.”
“And I don’t care.”
She hangs up on him. It seems to Buck that the “he should date Taylor” ship has sailed. Buck walks back to the bedroom and hopelessly collapses onto the bed. All that he’s left with is his suffocating and all-too-real feelings for Tex.
Buck looks around the newly made-up and cleaned room. Abby’s room. If there’s one thing Buck knows after this, it’s that he needs to move out.