Chapter Text
The unfamiliar streets stretched before me as I wandered into a part of town I'd never seen before. Makes sense, really. My world consisted only of the paths between our homes, school, and the station and nothing more.
Without my phone, getting lost meant real trouble. Yet my feet carried me forward through random streets, each step sending sharp pain through the thin soles of my sandals as the cracked pavement pressed against my feet, but something inside wouldn't let me stop. Maybe the discomfort helped distract from the ache in my chest. Maybe I just needed to disappear for a while. To find a place so distant that not even she, who knew everything there was to know about me, could find me.
I walked several more blocks without really seeing them, my eyes fixed downward, following whatever path seemed to lead furthest from the station. The constant gusts of wind cut through narrow roads and straight through my dress. Goosebumps rose across my skin as the thin fabric did very little to stop the chill.
February air had no business being this cold.
What was the point of wearing this thing again? I'm sure my mom and sister had the best intentions when they got it for me, but they were going to be very disappointed.
This wasn't her fault—it could never be. The weight of my mistakes pressed down heavier than my tired feet on the unforgiving pavement. I'd really messed up this time.
By the time the sunlight began to fade, I could see a small park ahead. I glanced over and saw it was full of couples. They were walking hand in hand, cuddled up on benches, being all perfect and happy together.
There was nothing for me there, so I kept walking. But as I turned away, I realized the couples weren't just walking aimlessly; they were all moving in the same direction, like they had somewhere to go.
A festival. That was rare this time of the year. I almost turned around right there. Honestly, I couldn't care less about some corporate money grab, but it was getting darker, and the light from the temple grounds looked better than wandering these unfamiliar streets.
Besides, if I was going to be alone from now on, maybe I should learn to enjoy things like this by myself.
◆◇◆◇◆
Inside the festival grounds, the path was wide enough that I could walk straight down the middle, between the stalls that lined both sides. Vendors called out their wares with forced cheer, but their voices all just became part of a single monotonous tone from where I stood.
Paper lanterns hung from strings crisscrossing above the path, swaying lazily in the evening breeze. They were probably meant to be cheerful, festive even. But as I passed under them, I simply didn't feel anything. It was all so… dull. Even the supposedly vibrant reds and yellows in the decorations seemed washed out.
I didn't belong here. Couples flowed past me on both sides, their faces illuminated by the same lantern light that refused to add color to anything in my vision. Their chatter and laughter felt distant, as if I was watching some old silent film. The only thing that reminded me I was actually here were the small jolts of pain shooting through my sandals with every step on the sharp gravel.
The deeper I ventured into the festival grounds, the more elaborate the decorations became. And yet, despite all the lights and decorations, everything remained stubbornly colorless in my perception. The hearts, the lanterns, the smiles—all of it rendered in varying shades of the same non-color. Perhaps there was something wrong with my eyes.
I needed air.
Between two stalls, I noticed a dark path with no people on it. It seemed to lead upward, into the trees that covered the mountain behind the shrine.
The path was steep, and every step was a struggle against roots and loose dirt. I had to grab onto tree trunks just to keep from slipping.
At the top, there was a small clearing with an old wooden bench facing the festival grounds. I walked to the guardrail.
From this high up, I could see the entire festival below. It looked like a diorama someone had forgotten to finish painting.
And this was it. My free sample of the bleak future that awaited me.
Finally, away from everything I had ever known, I allowed myself to think about her.
Sakura.
I could more or less tell what was going on in her head. I had known her for a long, long time after all. One by one, all the pieces clicked into place.
Her impressive grades. The way the teachers kept calling for her. Her constant fights with her mother. A scholarship.
There were never any problems with her family. She must have been offered a chance to study in Tokyo, and she didn't want to tell me because she knew I would worry about it.
But of course I would worry.
Because she intended to refuse it.
Far below, the colorless festival continued, its dim lights unable to cast shadows this far up. None of it felt real. The cold wind pressed against me, pulling at the edges of my dress and stinging my cheeks, but I barely noticed.
Maybe I leaned too hard, clung too tightly, and made it impossible for her to walk away without feeling like she was abandoning me. And now she's given up something incredible… because of me. I messed up.
Feelings of loneliness washed over me like black waves in the night.
Sakura had lied because she was afraid of hurting me. And she would want to stay here, in this backwater town, for the very same reason.
But I couldn't take that from her. A chance to study in the city was simply too great an opportunity to pass up. It would give her so many more options. She could go to a university there, meet important people, find a good company to work for...
The worst part was that she wasn't wrong. I needed her.
One needn't look further back than the past week to notice just how overly attached I had grown. The one following the other like a shadow, the one clinging to the other like a lifeboat—it was me all along.
As long as I kept stubbornly holding on to her, she would never be able to go anywhere else. Even if she had already refused this one chance, Sakura was smart—surely she could get many more.
I just happened to have been picked by the teacher all those years ago. She didn't really need me.
But she was too kind, and we were too close. I needed to show her that I would be fine. That she could follow her dreams without worrying about me.
My vision blurred. I blinked hard, refusing to acknowledge the heat building behind my eyes.
Instead, my fingers gripped the railing tighter as the wind picked up.
The sounds of chattering drifted up from below—indistinct, as if all the couples were speaking a language I couldn't understand. That I would never understand.
My eyes hurt. Something inside me was threatening to break.
I'll need to give her more space… Get my own bike… Tell the restaurant to change our shifts… Try to find some other friends to hang out with…
So just this time, just today, I'll allow myself to cry.
The first tear fell before I could stop it. Then another. Then I couldn't count them anymore. For the first time in my life, I was sobbing.
Through my sobs, I heard the soft crunch of footsteps behind me. I froze, my breath catching, but I couldn't bring myself to turn around.
But then… I felt a light tug at my shirt.
I could not mistake it for anything else. I didn't even need to look to know who it was.
“How…” My voice cracked. “How did you even find me?”
I tried to wipe my eyes, turning away to hide my face. “Not even I know where I am…” That last part came out as half an awkward laugh. I was crying and laughing. Sad and happy at the same time. I was falling apart.
But Sakura caught my hand and gently turned me around to face her.
Her hair was a tangled mess, strands sticking to her flushed cheeks. Her clothes were wrinkled and slightly damp with sweat. An enormous backpack was still strapped to her shoulders, pulling at the fabric. She looked like she'd sprinted through half the town.
“I… I had… help,” she managed between ragged breaths.
She opened her free hand, and a tiny speck of light floated above her palm. It glowed with an otherworldly blue light.
“What is that?”
The little speck rose to eye level, then suddenly circled us twice, as if confirming something. After giving us what felt like a nod, it flew off into the night sky.
I was dumbfounded, almost forgetting the whirlwind of emotions that had been raging inside me moments before.
Sakura, on the other hand, seemed perfectly calm as she watched it disappear. “Thank you,” she whispered, with a smile that shone like the yellow sun of a warm summer morning.
“Sakura… about the scholarship…” I could feel her tighten her grip on my hand.
“So, you've heard.” She looked down, her cheeks a sad shade of purple.
“I think you should—”
Sakura interrupted me by gently pressing her index finger to my lips.
“I will not take it."
“But—” I tried to protest—I had so many reasons to give her—but she pressed a little firmer against my lips. Even in this situation, I could feel my cheeks turning red from her touch.
“I don't want to go to college. I have something else I want to do.”
She knelt on the ground to rummage through the bag she was carrying. It was filled to the brim with what looked like clothes. It took her a while, but she finally found what she was looking for.
“I'm sorry I couldn't write to you. My mother took my phone…” she said, her eyes darting away, the guilt in them a pale, restless green—like spring leaves trembling in the wind.
Still on her knees, she turned to me. “Here,” she said, handing me a book with both hands. She was looking down, but I could see her cheeks and ears had turned a pretty shade of pink.
It was a printed novel, like the ones you could find in any bookstore. But on the cover, it read...
Adachi and Shimamura
With a deafening sound, the whole world exploded with colors.
Red, blue, and yellow specks bloomed all around us. Purple, orange, and green lights showered the night in all directions.
Forget skipping a beat, my heart went into full stop.
The sound from the fireworks was loud, but it gave me the pause I needed to sort my feelings.
This was Sakura's novel—no, Sakura's message. The one she had been crafting for almost a year.
I finally understood.
Even if we hadn't met from the start, we would have ended up together.
I fell to my knees, and tears rolled down my cheeks once again. These ones were warm.
The ground shook with each new boom.
◆◇◆◇◆
In a moment of quiet, Sakura was the first to speak. We were both sitting on the ground, our backs against the lone bench, our hands intertwined.
“I want to be a novelist,” she said with absolute certainty.
“There are many more stories I want to write.” Her voice sounded sweet and tender. “One where you are an actress. One where I'm a teacher. One where we meet on our way to work. One where we meet at the end of the world.”
“And one where we are childhood friends.”
My heart was beating so loudly I couldn't tell if the fireworks had really ended.
“But I— you could do so much better than me.” I protested. “I'm lazy, clumsy, plain...”
Sakura just nodded as I listed my shortcomings, with a dumb smile on her face. “You are also an idiot.”
I gave her a chop on the head with her own novel.
“You are the kindest person I know, Shima. The fact that you don't even notice just proves it.”
“And even if you weren't, that wouldn't change a thing.” She continued. “Do I need to write you another whole book just to get that through?”
Was I really that dense? Okay, maybe I deserved that.
But I now understood what she wanted to say. I was very lucky to have met her when we were little kids, but only because we got to spend all these extra years together. If we had met ten, or twenty, or one thousand years later, she would have chosen me the instant our eyes met. And I would have chosen her.
Just like in her novel.
For us to take the next step, I had to be the one to confess.
Because she already had.
Not with words, but with her actions—with every word she wrote, every choice she made. She had been patiently waiting for my answer all these years.
I looked up, directly into her eyes, and told her everything that was in my heart.
“I love you.”
“Mm-hmm,” she nodded, with a smile.
“I'm crazy about you.”
“Mm-hmm,” she hummed, closing her eyes.
“Stay with me forever.”
Sakura looked at me. Her gaze filled with warmth and affection.
“… Okay.”
And she accepted all my feelings.
Like she always did.