Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“When I began writing this memoir, it was not for the purpose of publication. I began with the simple intent of uncovering the truth— about the justice system, about the so-called “Phantom Thieves of Hearts,” and about myself.“

- “The Crow Falls at Midnight,” Introduction

“My celebrity crush?” Ren paused to think. He didn’t talk about his personal life much on stream, but he didn’t mind throwing his chatters a bone once in a while.

“Akechi Goro,” he said. Chat had a lot to say about that.

m0thm4n: wait is this a joke

tiredtrumpeter: lmao

inugamer: lol really? the detective guy??

apsarass: isn’t he a cop?? :/

lamiaxe: wait is joker coming out rn

reply to @lamiaxe 

THOTh: where have you been? he’s been out lmao

jackfrostiie: lololol

succcccubussy: REAL tbh akechi is so hot

belfegore: you’re gay? for real??

reply to @belfegore

lililim: he’s bi lol

sarasvatea: did you read his book? it was pretty good actually 

"What happened to ACAB? ” Ren read out loud. He looked directly into the camera, smirking just slightly. “I could fix him.”

The consensus from chat was “lololol. ” Then his game finished updating and Ren got to work.

He honestly forgot about it after that. 

It had been about six hours since Ren had last seen Akechi Goro— and five years since they’d last spoken.

Ren’s feelings for Akechi weren’t the all-consuming fire it had been when they were teenagers and constantly sneaking off to make out, high on the adrenaline of near-death experiences and not fully knowing what the other person wanted from you. 

These days, it was more of an itchy mosquito bite— always there, but easier to ignore the more you left it alone. Ren tried not to scratch at it too much these days. Even though it was kind of hard when your ex-situationship’s face was plastered everywhere trying to sell you various limited-edition snacks. 

A year after his disappearance, Futaba informed the (former) Phantom Thieves that Akechi had quietly enrolled in a small university under a new name. He’d been in a coma, then a rehab center, then prison, and then in witness protection while Sae continued to clean up Shido’s mess. He never reached out. Ren tried not to take it personally. 

Then a few months ago, Akechi suddenly decided to stop hiding. He put out a book. The (heavily edited) memoir was a mostly-true account of Akechi’s childhood, his time as the Detective Prince, and the years he spent in hiding. Minus all the Metaverse and assassination stuff. It was a final revenge against Shido, a tell-all tale of a desperate teen being taken advantage of by rotten adults.

Ren didn’t get a mention. Which was fine. 

But then the modeling contracts started pouring in. At first Akechi had just been on a few talk shows, promoting his book, which quickly became a bestseller. But nowadays, Akechi was everywhere. He was a bit of a polarizing figure, but a lot of people liked the new snarky and jaded Akechi Goro. Ren saw him on variety shows, posters in the windows of bookstores, and just today– an electronic billboard in Shibuya, advertising a new flavor of sparkling water. 

It was heaven and agony, all at once. Ren had wondered for years what Akechi was up to, what it might be like to see him again, what he looked like now. And now Ren never had to wonder if Akechi had cut his hair or kept growing it out— he could look up on any train platform and see the answer staring him in the face, immortalized in the form of a brightly colored advertisement for limited-edition lychee ice cream. 

(He’d cut it shorter. It looked good. Obviously. Whatever.)

And Ren was fine, really. He came back to Tokyo for university. Graduated. Saw his friends at any chance he could on a rotating, biweekly basis. He hadn’t found a full-time job ( yet , as Makoto kept reminding him) but he liked being a barista/bartender/florist. And when he didn’t have a shift at one of his many part-time jobs, he’d turned out to be moderately successful at something else. 

Ren started streaming during his third year of high school because Futaba had asked him to. It was really just so she could make fun of him while he played video games, but for whatever reason, he’d started gaining viewers. Then he let Mishima start editing some of the VODs and putting them on MeTube. And his viewership just kept growing. Now he had a small but respectable following supplementing his income. 

Things were good. Really. And if he sometimes had to look at ads on the subway and remember that the boy he’d stolen kisses from in the dark corners of Mementos didn’t want Ren in his life anymore, well— Ren could deal with it. He was happy knowing Akechi was doing alright now. 

He didn’t need more than that.

The next morning (alright, it was noon, whatever), he woke up to his phone vibrating with dozens of messages. Ren tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes while he checked his notifications. 

Ryuji: LMAO DUDE CHECK YOUR SOCIALS

Futaba: bruh the gorls are destroying you on flitter

Ann: LOL why did I just get asked on flitter why I’m friends with a fake akechi fan

Ren left all of them on read. Whatever was happening, it was clearly a problem for after coffee. There were also some messages from Mishima that he didn’t bother checking (Ren had a strict “no work before breakfast” rule).

When Ren finally sat down with his coffee and breakfast, feeling slightly more human, he opened Flitter. 

💗 fuji-ko-koro 💗 @goro_love

@jokeren2 How DARE you treat Akechi-san like a joke. You literally know NOTHING about all the things he’s been through. 

AKECHI GORO #1 BESTSELLER @mimisakura

@jokeren2 maybe you should read his book before making such comments :)

~ y u n o ~ @xx_THRONE_xx

@jokeren2 there’s nothing to fix he already opposes the police dumbass

#1 morgana fan @naganaturals

[Video of Ren calling Akechi Goro his celebrity crush and saying “I could fix him.”]

this bit from @jokeren2’s stream had me dying

Ah. Someone clipped him saying Akechi was his celebrity crush. Okay. Slightly mortifying to have it out there forever, but whatever. Ren clicked the quote fleets. 

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro

I actually go into great detail about the corruption of Japanese law enforcement in my book, which this person would know if they’d read it.

Huh. So that’s why there was an army of angry Gorls in his mentions.

Ren really was not awake enough to process Akechi acknowledging his existence for the first time in five years with a passive aggressive social media post. Instead of dealing with whatever swarm of emotions was building up in his stomach, he hit quote fleet. 

im da joker baby @jokeren2

we did it chat

Then he put his phone down and finished his breakfast. 

“What was with all the messages? Your phone wouldn’t stop pinging this morning,” Morgana asked, finally wandering in. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Ren said. 

Yuuki @PhanMod

New @jokeren2 video will be out on MeTube tomorrow!

Akechi Goro HQ @GORLHQ

Pics from Akechi’s book signing in Kichijoji yesterday! 🧵🔽

SHUKO @POWER69

Who on God’s green earth doesn’t already know Akechi hates cops. HE WROTE A WHOLE BOOK ABOUT IT

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

no name streamers I guess….

akechi goro’s bitch era @lowkeyloki

the claws are OUT today and i’m 100% here for it

THOTh @monkeybusiness

pov ur fav streamer makes a silly joke that accidentally incurs the wrath of god (akechi goro fans)

kaya kaya! @detectiveprincess 

it actually pisses me off so much that people who know nothing about what akechi has gone through think they can talk shit about him

~ y u n o ~ @xx_THRONE_xx

LITERALLY this guy just thinks akechi is some hot idol. like it’s not hard to google a summary of his book before you start making assumptions 🙄

#1 morgana fan @naganaturals

joker remains the world’s most iconic streamer lmfao

joker’s (ex)wife @pixiiie

I’m prepared to go to war against the gorls 🫡

michi 🇯🇵🇧🇷 @matadork

I’M NOT

STREAM HEARTFINDER OUT NOW!!! @lililim

bestie i don’t think this is a fight you can win….

mayumi 🫶🏳️‍🌈 @gorldick

I think @/jokeren2 was just joking yall calm down 💀

tsubaki @angeluriel

right?? i thought it was funny 😭😭

≽^•⩊•^≼ @dominyan

does this streamer guy look familiar to anyone else?? it’s driving me crazy……

☽ nastuki ☾ @archangellll

I’ve actually been following him for a while!! this was NOT a crossover I was ready for lol

a. @feather_karasu 🔒

what the actual fuck

Ren had an afternoon shift at Rafflesia that day. 

If he was being honest, he didn’t really need to work part-time. Streaming was bringing in enough money to support his humble lifestyle and his cat’s admittedly less-humble lifestyle. But honestly, Ren was used to staying busy and he was pretty sure he’d go insane if he just stayed cooped up in his apartment only talking to people virtually (with the exception of Morgana, obviously.) And it felt good to help out Sojiro and Lala and Hanasaki, who had been kind to him when he had nothing. 

So yeah, he was mostly working customer service for fun. One of many reasons his friends thought he was crazy. 

Distantly, Ren was relieved that he was working at Rafflesia and not Leblanc that day. Leblanc would have given him too much downtime to think. Rafflesia was always a madhouse (at least on days that Ren got called in). Ren could just put his phone on silent and focus on flower arrangements for six hours. 

He checked his phone on the train home. He ignored all the LMAOOOO’ s from his followers, because Akechi had responded again. 

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro

@jokeren2 I fail to see what it is that you did. If you’re referring to my anti-law-enforcement stance, I’m sorry to inform you that I’ve always resented the police to some degree. (1/2)

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro

If you’d read my book, you would know that I was forced into a career in detective work by unfortunate circumstances. I have always believed the police to be a corrupt institution. (2/2)

It was passive-aggressive. It was petty. It was the first thing Akechi had said to him directly in half a decade, and he was pretending not to know who Ren was. 

Ren felt the corners of his mouth tug up, in spite of himself. He pressed reply.

im da joker baby @jokeren2

@AkechiGoro

Chapter Text

Shido Masayoshi was a deeply paranoid and distrustful man. He believed that everyone around him was only waiting to betray him and he systematically ensured that he would always betray them first. 

When the Phantom Thieves decided to steal his heart, I was the one who took the fall. 

I still don’t know how the Phantom Thieves discovered my connection to Shido, but I have no doubt that it was my involvement that was traced back to him. I suppose I should be grateful that in some indirect way, my actions still led to his downfall. But I’ve never had much of a talent for gratitude.

- “The Crow Falls at Midnight”, Chapter 13

BE GAY DO CRIMES:

Futaba: lol check this out 

Futaba: https://flitter.com/archangellll/status/15785239471029

Futaba: why did no one tell me about this this is so funny 

Ryuji: LMAO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

Haru: Wow! You were… not stealthy at all. 

Yusuke: The beginnings of a glorious rivalry! I had no idea such a moment was captured on camera.

Ann: lmao that was SO stressful i thought for sure we were gonna get caught

Makoto: I don’t even know why I bothered following you around. You were so obvious.

Ryuji: lol ur one to talk makoto

Ren clicked the link. Someone had dug up a video of the talk show the day he and Akechi first met (technically their second meeting if you counted the pancake incident, but whatever). On his tiny screen, a reporter asked what he thought of the Phantom Thieves. 

“They do more than the cops,” little Ren responded, like the brazen, reckless teenager he was. Right from the start, Ren’s instinct was to provoke Akechi beyond his calm, charming persona. 

Ren let out a small sigh. Now he couldn't even DM the guy.

As he watched their teenage banter play out on the screen— their first duel, really— Ren felt something in him stir. He pressed quote fleet.

im da joker baby @jokeren2

@AkechiGoro can't believe I didn't get a mention in your book. I thought we had something special ;-;

Ren scrolled to read some of the comments on the video. It was mostly people arguing about whether it was actually him in the video and asking the original poster how they even found this clip. Apparently they were an Akechi superfan before he disappeared and had all his interviews archived. Ren pressed follow. 

Ah. Akechi replied. 

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro

How would you know? You clearly haven't read it. 

Oh, it was fucking on.

Ren abandoned his half-eaten dinner on the table, ignoring Morgana’s meows of protests about not finishing his food. He grabbed his copy of Akechi's book from where it sat on the shelf in his bedroom (not in the living room where his friends could see it and give him pitying looks over). His clearly well-loved and heavily annotated copy of the book. 

im da joker baby @jokeren2

[Video of Ren showing the obviously broken-in spine and flipping through pages just long enough to see he'd written notes in the margins. He zooms in on one that just said “wtf akechi” before ending the video.]

do you need me to write a book report or 

Ren thought about rewatching it to make sure that none of the notes shown in the video were too revealing, decided he didn’t give a fuck, and pressed post.

It was probably fine. Most of the notes were along the lines of “ok hegel stan” or “edgy.” He'd largely annotated the book thinking about how much Akechi hated it when people wrote in books, and most of the notes were things Ren thought would annoy Akechi.

Any more personal or vulnerable thoughts Ren had while reading the book, he certainly hadn’t written down. Ren knew better than to leave a paper trail.

Ah, a reply already. Ren clicked on it, his heart racing.

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro

I see. I retract my previous statement. 

What was your favorite chapter, then?

im da joker baby @jokeren2

69

☽ nastuki ☾ @archangellll

[Video of teenage Akechi and Ren discussing the Phantom Thieves on a talk show.]

Am I hallucinating or is this Joker????

TATI @titania33

OH MY GOD IT DEFINITELY IS

Tsubaki @angeluriel

@dominyan is this what you were remembering LMAO

≽^•⩊•^≼ @dominyan 

maybe??

kaya kaya! @detectiveprincess

sometimes I forget how young Akechi was during the Detective Prince era 🥺 watching old videos of his makes me so emotional

~ y u n o ~ @xx_THRONE_xx

ikr?? especially after reading his book and knowing everything he was going through back then…

hiroko 🎡 @fortunasfavour  

joker getting into an argument with a microcelebrity on live tv and then calling him his celebrity crush on stream years later is sending me 😭NEVER CHANGE BBY

michael  @flamingsword

and the fact that they were asking about the phantom thieves makes it so much funnier. joker will truly take any opportunity to say acab

SHUKO @POWER69

So this random streamer has been harassing Akechi-san for YEARS? I’m more annoyed than before tbh

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

ok I don’t like him either but I’m not sure this qualifies as harassment lol

michi 🇯🇵🇧🇷 @matadork

I’m just grateful this whole thing graced us with a video of baby joker <3

It had been a surprisingly busy day at Leblanc. Ren was getting ready to close up when he heard the bell of the door ring. He looked up from where he was wiping down the counter of Leblanc to see a woman in a large blue hat and puffy lime green coat walk in. 

“Sorry, we’re about to close,” Ren said, already moving to prepare her drink. She had texted him earlier making sure it was alright to come by. 

“Oh, couldn’t you make an exception for me?” Haru smiled behind her enormous rhinestone sunglasses. 

“I suppose I could stay open a little late… for a friend,” he winked, making Haru giggle. He made her drink quickly before stepping out to flip the sign to “Closed,” after which Haru finally removed her ridiculous “disguise.” She took a seat at the bar— not in the chair Ren still thought of as being Akechi’s, but next to it. 

“How’s Makoto doing?” he asked.

“She’s doing good. Law school is stressful, but she’s a lot happier than she was last year.”

Ren hummed in response. A year ago, Makoto had finally given up on her dream of becoming a police chief, which was a relief to both Ren and Haru.

“Has she picked a specialty yet?” he asked over his shoulder as he washed the last few dishes.

“She’s thinking about family law, actually. She wants to help people out of abusive situations.”

“That sounds like her,” Ren said.

“Doesn’t it?” Haru laughed.

Haru sipped her drink quietly, the silence settling down between them like a warm comforter as Ren finished his closing duties. She seemed to have something she wanted to say, so as always, Ren gave her room to say it. He was drying a glass when she spoke up. 

“I saw a photo of you and Akechi today,” Haru said, quietly. 

Ren nearly dropped the glass. 

“What,” he croaked. He’d had a couple of head injuries over the years, but he definitely would have remembered seeing Akechi today. In real life, not on a subway poster or a billboard in Shibuya.

“From back in high school,” she clarified. “On Flitter.” 

Oh. That made more sense. Haru took another sip of her coffee.

“I hadn’t realized you two were so close back then,” she said, peering up at him. 

Ren shrugged. He wasn’t sure if “close” was the right word to describe his relationship with the guy who suspected he was the leader of a criminal organization, who in turn Ren suspected to be a secret Metaverse assassin. 

Another silence fell. Ren didn’t know what to say to Haru— Sorry for being friends with your father’s killer. In my defense, I didn’t know he was a murderer for sure yet. My bad for not figuring it out before I got extremely emotionally attached to him.

Haru spoke up again first. 

“I read his book, you know. It was… enlightening, in some ways.” 

Ren stiffened. Akechi never directly apologized in his book, but he expressed some level of guilt or regret for most of the deaths he was involved with. Okumura Kunikazu was not one of them.

“I used to think a lot about how different things would have been if my father had survived. I think I was picturing something like Maruki’s world, where he didn’t just love me, he respected me. But even if he had lived, I don’t think he would've been like that. I don’t know that he ever could have been who I needed him to be.”

Haru paused, staring pensively into the dregs of coffee in her cup. Like Madarame, was the thought that went unsaid.

“Did you know my father ordered twenty-four psychotic breakdowns?” She said it with the coldness of someone who had spent years working to compensate the families of her father’s many, many crimes. But all the blood money in the world couldn’t bring back a loved one. Haru knew that better than anyone.

“When I think about the extent of his selfishness, I think I understand how someone could…” Haru stopped. Swallowed. She looked up at Ren and met his gaze. 

“I’m not saying I forgive Akechi, or that his actions were justified,” Haru said firmly, her eyes burning bright. Then, softer: 

“What I’m trying to say is that if you still wanted something with him… it wouldn’t be a betrayal to me.”

Ren didn’t know what to say. 

“Thank you,” he managed eventually, “but I don’t think Akechi and I will be hanging out anytime soon.” 

Haru smiled like she knew something he didn’t. 

“We’ll see,” she said. 

Ren opened his mouth to deny it, but— well, they were speaking again, kind of. At the very least, it seemed like he couldn’t resist replying to Ren’s taunts. Maybe it wasn’t such a stretch to imagine that Akechi did want Ren in his life, in some small way. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “We’ll see.”

≽^•⩊•^≼ @dominyan

[Pictures of Ren and Akechi hanging out at a cafe, both in their high school uniforms.]

I KNEW I REMEMBERED HIM FROM SOMEWHERE I FUCKNG KNEW IT!!!!

TATI @titania33

oh my godddd were they DATING!!!!!!!

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

um?? how did we not put the pieces together back then omg

kaya kaya! @detectiveprincess

We just thought he had a friend 😭😭

akechi goro’s bitch era @lowkeyloki

WAIT THEY ACTUALLY KNOW EACH OTHER?? LMFAO

hiroko 🎡@fortunasfavour

this is such a classic joker moment tbh

akechi goro’s bitch era @lowkeyloki

classic akechi moment too tbh. I can’t believe akechi called him “this person” AS IF THEY DIDN’T LITERALLY KNOW EACH OTHER

ami plays games❣️@amenouzume_

Ok but real talk are we watching exes flirt rn

✨ANGEL✨@angel_ass 

who says they’re exes 👀

THOTh @monkeybusiness

idk, if they were actually dating why would joker call him his celebrity crush? that’s a crazy thing to say about your ex

ami plays games❣️@amenouzume_

ok but have you considered joker is crazy

kaya kaya! @detectiveprincess

[Photos of teenage Ren and Akechi chatting on a street in Kichijoji.]

which could mean nothing!!!!

💗 fuji-ko-koro 💗 @goro_love

THERE’S MORE????

TATI @titania33

ALRIGHT THIS CONFIRMS IT. TO ME

aiko 💃 @goroswife

Anyone who seriously believes Goro-kun was dating some streamer guy is clearly delulu!!!!

✨ANGEL✨@angel_ass

ok yumejoshi

Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland

ok but what if they WEREN’T dating but they both liked each other and they lost touch after akechi disappeared and akechi is just now finding out this guy had a crush on him the whole time 

stan critical thinking @setaunta

why are people writing rpf on my tl rn 

joker’s (ex)wife @pixiiie

Alright so was this before or after he met ann 👀

michi 🇯🇵🇧🇷 @matadork

shhhh don’t say it too loud….

a. @feather_karasu 🔒

why hasn’t he said anything yet. fuck this.

Tsubaki @angeluriel

tbh this is the most exciting the fandom has been since the Gorls vs Akechi’s Angels discourse

hiroko 🎡@fortunasfavour

you didn't think it was exciting when he came back from the dead????

Tsubaki @angeluriel

I said what I said

joker said rpf is fine @arii_adne

stay tuned for my 10k joker/akechi getting back together fanfic

☽ nastuki ☾ @archangellll

I know you’re joking but I would legit read that

joker said rpf is fine @arii_adne

who says i’m joking 🫣

Akechi Goro HQ @GORLHQ

Context for today’s discourse if you’re wondering what’s going on and who @jokeren2 is 🧵⬇️

When Ren got home, he pulled up Flitter.

There weren’t a lot of photos of him and Akechi— they mostly kept to low-key spots like Leblanc and Jazz Jin, and Penguin Sniper’s clientele didn’t have a big overlap with Gorls (or Akechi’s Angels, as they’d called themselves back then). But there were a couple from the cafe they’d tried together, the first time they’d gone out. 

It was before Ren ruffled Akechi’s hair, just as he was leaning in. Akechi had a deer-in-headlights look on his face. From the angle, you couldn’t see Ren’s face. He wished he could remember what he said to Akechi to make him look like that. 

Ren’s face was visible in the second photo, but the glare on his glasses made it hard to see his expression. He was grateful.

The next batch of photos was of the two of them chatting outside of Penguin Sniper. Was this before or after a game? Ren couldn’t tell. Akechi had a smirk on his face— he almost looked like his real self, then. Sometimes the mask slipped, when it was just the two of them. 

Ren wondered how many times he’d let his own mask slip. Most of the time, Ren felt like Akechi saw right through him. 

im da joker baby @jokeren2

;)

a. @feather_karasu 🔒

i fucking hate him.

Chapter Text

I acknowledge that it is impossible for me to talk about my past life without also talking about the Phantom Thieves. Nonetheless, I am going to do my best. 

Please understand that it was not only one of the most difficult and tumultuous times in my life, but many of the details of the case are still classified. I am not at liberty to discuss the methods or identities of the Phantom Thieves. Suffice it to say that it was not a hoax. They truly did change hearts— and I truly did infiltrate and betray them.

What was a hoax: The so-called “suicide” of their leader.

In truth, the “death” of the leader of the Phantom Thieves was a premeditated event. He was only meant to be another bullet point on a long list of casualties orchestrated by Shido’s conspiracy. The only difference was that he was conveniently poised to take the fall for a number of our own crimes. 

Obviously, it didn't go so smoothly. 

- “The Crow Falls at Midnight”, Chapter 9

When he started streaming the next day, everyone in chat was pestering him about Akechi. 

forneuss: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US YOU KNOW AKECHI GORO 

jackfrostiie: lololol

setaunta: my flitter feed is all akechi goro now what have you done

m0thm4n: im not on flitter what’s happening

THOTh: @m0thm4n someone found photos of them hanging out back in hs

apsarass: ????? YOU LITERALLY KNOW HIM???? 

seiyuuu: i cant believe you called him your celeb crush LMAO

Ren ignored the vast majority of them.

“I wouldn’t say that I know Akechi,” Ren said, rubbing the back of his neck. “We haven’t spoken since high school. We’re basically strangers now.” 

And wasn’t that the truth. Ren didn’t know this shiny new Akechi Goro who scoffed at interviewers and rolled his eyes at fans, who wore his real face out in public. Ren didn’t know any more about what he’d been up to in the last five years than the thousands of other people with Akechi’s memoir on their shelves. 

The memory of what Akechi’s lips felt like, what his hands felt like— none of that changed the fact that Ren didn’t know who Akechi was anymore. 

But god, did he want to. 

“Anyway, today we’re gonna be playing the Pokemon Sword DLC.”

amenouzume_: booooooo

hell_biker : finally GAMERS RISE UP 

belfegore: YES im sick of talking about the detective guy

angel_ass: ok coward

alicenotinwonderland: :sad-mona: :sad-mona: :sad-mona:

fortunasfavour: :disappointed-mona:

succcccubussy: noooo give us the deets!!

amenouzume_: :sad-mona:

The truth was, Ren was mentioned in Akechi's book. Or at least, “the leader of the Phantom Thieves” was. But in a book supposedly meant to expose the dark truth of Akechi’s life, he revealed surprisingly little about his personal life. 

There was no mention of Ren as he had been to Akechi— rival, friend, not-quite-lover. There was only the mysterious leader of the Phantom Thieves, only brought up to explain the plot to kill him and frame him for the crimes of Shido’s conspiracy.

In the book, Akechi said that he still didn't know how the leader evaded death. Ren didn't know if that was true. Akechi had never asked, but there were a lot of strange things Akechi didn't question that January. He'd certainly rolled with the magical little girl telling them what to do easily enough. 

Of course, Akechi couldn't tell the full truth about what happened in the Metaverse and the many murders he actually committed, so the memoir was limited to events Akechi could prove in the real world. He explained his role in the conspiracy as covering up the mental shutdowns by “solving” them, which was true (although he claimed that the methods behind the mental shutdowns themselves were classified). He used his relation to Shido as an explanation for why Shido would bother taking advantage of an otherwise ordinary teenage orphan, since he couldn’t mention the other world where he had superpowers. 

It was a book full of half-truths and carefully censored accounts.

During the fall of that terrible, incredible year, Ren probably would've given anything to have a book like this in his hands— a pure insight into the mind of Akechi Goro. Even the censored bits, the edited opinions, all of it said something about the way Akechi thought and wanted to present himself to the world. 

Now, Ren knew that it wasn't enough. 

He wanted to talk to Akechi. He wanted to ask Akechi what he meant during this section or that paragraph. He wanted to see Akechi up close, to be able to count his eyelashes when he blinked. He wanted to hold Akechi close and feel the beating of his heart, the blood beneath his skin. Ren wanted more . 

But then—

Then he remembered standing in LeBlanc on a cold February afternoon, facing down the only thing he'd wanted for himself that entire year. He remembered Akechi walking out. 

He wasn’t a mystery to Akechi, Ren reminded himself. These past five years, Akechi knew exactly what Ren wanted, all along. And he had turned away. 

So no, Ren didn't intend to reach out to Akechi. If Akechi actually wanted to talk, he knew where to find Ren. 

In the meantime, he was going to keep annoying Akechi on Flitter.

hiroko 🎡@fortunasfavour

[Clip from Ren’s stream explaining that he hasn’t spoken to Akechi since high school]

help why did he sound so wistful

Reiko 🌸 @principalily_art

he’s living in a shoujo manga fr

Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland

THE YEARNING ARDWFLNSFGJKEAASDF AHHHHHHHHHH

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

are you okay

Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland

NO

im da joker baby @jokeren2

[Picture of Morgana looking very sadly out a window into the rain.]

when will my roommate return from the fashion war

#1 morgana fan @naganaturals

nooooo don’t be sad mona!! ann will be back soon 🥺

stan critical thinking @setaunta 

Paris Fashion Week needs to be over so this cat can be happy again

sachi ❀ @narcissussy

👀

Hiro K @forneuss

??? What does this mean lol

sachi ❀ @narcissussy

if ykyk…

michi 🇯🇵🇧🇷 @matadork

keep it to the group chat omg

joker’s (ex)wife @pixiiie

sure, your CAT misses her. definitely just your cat.

STREAM HEARTFINDER OUT NOW!!! @lililim

FR WHO DO THEY THINK THEY’RE FOOLING

ami plays games❣️ @amenouzume_

so excited for Ann to get back so we can have another episode of the cooking series joker refuses to name

ami plays games❣️ @amenouzume_

joker liked this?? lmfao

a. @feather_karasu 🔒

they’re so transparent it’s disgusting 

Ren typically only worked Sunday nights in Shinjuku. He loved Crossroads, but it was a pretty long commute from his apartment in Yongen-jaya and he didn’t really want to make it more than once a week. 

Lala trusted Ren with a lot more than just washing dishes and refilling waters now that he wasn’t a minor. She didn’t send him home at 9:30, for one thing. He was actually allowed to serve customers drinks too. 

And if he wanted, he was even allowed to dress up. He didn’t always, but honestly— Ren really needed a mask tonight. 

“Hey honey,” Lala drawled when Ren stepped out of the back room, fully dolled-up. “Could you serve the group of girls over there? I’ve got my hands full with the regulars.” 

“Got it,” Ren said, with just a bit more of a feminine lilt than usual. Lala didn’t bother pitching up much, so Ren didn’t either. He made his way to the back table, settling into the persona as he walked. All the insecurities that had been festering melted away when he donned the wig and kimono.

“How can I help—” Ren cut himself off, blinking at the sight in front of him. “Sumire?” 

“Huh?” Sumire said, her glasses slightly askew and her cheeks slightly flushed. It looked like this wasn’t the first bar these girls had stopped at. “Sorry, do I know you?”

“Um,” he said. “It’s Ren?”

She stared blankly at him.

“...Amamiya?” 

“Oh. Oh! Amamiya-senpai!” Her cheeks grew even more red. “I didn’t recognize you with… um…”

“Without my glasses?” Ren finished with a wry smile, startling a giggle out of the flustered girl. The other two girls (Sumire’s friends? Teammates?) were watching with interest. 

The girl sitting to Sumire’s right, clearly more drunk than the others, had been completely lost to a laughing fit. The girl sitting to her left, who was a few inches taller than the others, just smiled fondly at Sumire’s stuttering. 

“I thought we were past “senpai” by now,” he teased. “Are you ladies celebrating your big win?”

“We sure are!” Drunk Girl yelled. “National champions babyyyyy!”

Ren knew, of course. He’d watched the competition online and congratulated Sumire yesterday. She had mentioned that she’d be celebrating with some friends, but he hadn’t expected to see her here. 

“Well,” Ren drawled, “can I get you champions anything to drink?”

When he came back with their orders, Drunk Girl was staring at him with narrowed eyes.

“Hey, aren’t you that streamer guy?” she slurred. “The one who’s obsessed with Akechi Goro?”

Sumire choked on her drink.

“Yep, that’s me,” Ren said. 

“Mayumi!” Sumire squeaked. “How do you even know that?”

“Uh, I’m online, duhhh. Sumi, we gotta get you a Flitter account.” 

“I don’t know about that,” Tall Girl said. “I think it’s cute that you’re not really on social media.”

“C-c-cute?” Sumire said, her face reddening again.

Ren hid a smile behind the sleeve of his kimono and left the girls to themselves. It was good to see Sumire enjoying herself with friends (and maybe one more-than-a-friend). 

A couple of months ago, Sumire had told him that she was retiring from gymnastics after she graduated. Gymnastics was a sport with an early expiration date, Sumire had explained. It was unlikely she’d make it to a second Olympics, and if she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Being a professional athlete took a real toll on the body, after all.

This last year of competition, she didn’t want to focus on winning; she already had an Olympic medal to show for her efforts. She just wanted to savor it.

When Ren last asked, Sumire still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do next. She said it was frustrating having to reinvent herself again yet again— but exciting, too. 

There was a whole world of possibilities waiting for her.

Akechi Goro HQ @GORLHQ

[Blurry photos of teenage Ren and Akechi at an aquarium, taken from behind.]

Here’s a throwback! Originally posted by gorogirlxx on July 29th, 2016

joker said rpf is fine @arii-adne

oh my god??

michael @flamingsword

AN AQUARIUM DATE???? they were SO together

Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland

RIGHT????

#1 morgana fan @naganaturals 

I’m not a joker/akechi truther by any means but I will admit that with every new photo of them hanging out it does seem more plausible. Like, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they really were exes

☽ nastuki ☾ @archangellll

we got another one boys

hiroko 🎡@fortunasfavour

ok but seriously it doesn’t count as a celebrity crush if you know them. @jokeren2 pick a new celeb crush (THAT YOU DON’T KNOW IRL!!!!!)

michi 🇯🇵🇧🇷 @matadork

if he says ann istg….

sachi ❀ @narcissussy

PLEASE SAY ANN 🙏

mayumi 🫶🏳️‍🌈 @gorldick

[Dark, blurry selfie of Ren and Mayumi in Crossroads holding up peace signs]

im at tthe gay bar yall would not beliiiiieve who is here !!

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

Hey bestie <3 ily but I can’t even tell if YOU’RE in this photo

mayumi 🫶🏳️‍🌈 @gorldick

lollllllllll;;

Reiko 🌸 @principalily_art

[Fanart of modern-day Ren and Akechi holding hands at an aquarium]

idk what possessed me to do this but here

✨ANGEL✨@angel_ass

hey OP I think I’m actually in love with you for this

m e i k o @rakshasassy

@jokeren2 REVEAL A DIFFERENT CELEB CRUSH OR DIE BY MY SWORD

THOTh @monkeybusiness

we found out one thing about his personal life and now we’re addicted. this is why he doesn’t tell us anything…..

sara @sarasvatea

ngl I kinda miss the old days when joker was just a lowkey streamer and no one was speculating about his dating life 😭

joker’s ex(wife) @pixiiie

sorry to break it to you but folks have been speculating forever lol

im da joker baby @jokeren2

fiiiiine my celebrity crush (that I don’t know irl) is risette

ami plays games❣️  @amenouzume_

he better not know Risette too

Hiro K @forneuss

if it turns out you have some deep and storied history with RISETTE im gonna lose it i really am

a. @feather_karasu 🔒

seriously? I can’t even have this?

Chapter Text

I’m not looking for sympathy, truly. Yes, I was an unwanted orphan and a victim of the system. But I ceased to deserve any goodwill the moment when I delivered that same fate unto another. 

The first person whose death I was directly involved with was a single mother with an eleven-year-old daughter. I didn’t know that at the time, but I didn’t ask questions either.

- “The Crow Falls at Midnight,” Chapter 4

“Soooooo,” Ryuji said, setting down his controller. The two of them lounged on Ren’s worn-out second-hand couch, waiting for Futaba and Morgana to get back from their snack run.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, are you doing okay?” Ryuji asked, the couch squeaking quietly as he sat forward. “With the whole… you know, Akechi stuff.” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ren responded.

“I mean… I know this is the first time you guys have talked since. You know…” Ryuji did a hand-wavey motion that was probably meant to encapsulate the entirety of the mess with the attempted murder and Akechi’s death and Maruki’s fake reality and Ren thinking that he was killing Akechi again and then finding out he was actually alive and waiting for him to reach out (which never happened).

“Since you guys broke up.” 

Ah. That too.

“We weren’t really together,” Ren said.

“...Sure. Whatever helps you deal, Renren,” Ryuji said, patting Ren gently on the knee. 

Just then, Futaba and Morgana burst through the front door. 

“We have arrived with our spoils of war!” Futaba declared, convenience store bags held high above her head. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Morgana meowed.

“Nothing,” Ren said.

“Akechi,” Ryuji said.

“Oh thank god,” Futaba exclaimed, unceremoniously dropping the bags on the floor by the TV. 

Um, okay. Not at all the reaction Ren expected from her, considering Akechi had pretty much confessed to murdering Futaba’s mom. 

“I was trying to decide if I should bring it up. I can’t believe he has notifications on for you!” she exclaimed.

“Wait, what?” Ren sat up from where he’d sprawled out on the couch. 

“For real?” Ryuji said, picking a bag of chips out of Futaba’s discarded grocery bags. 

“Um, obviously! He responded to you so fast.”

“Yeah, but I tagged him.”

“Come on, he barely interacts with people on Flitter!" Futaba argued. "There’s no way he actually checks all of his mentions.” Ren privately thought that that was exactly the kind of neurotic thing Akechi would do, but hey, he didn’t know Akechi anymore. Maybe he had a normal, healthy relationship with social media now.

“Can’t we just test it?” Ryuji said. “Post something and see if he responds!”

“He won’t respond to just anything though. We have to bait him.” Futaba cackled evilly. “Oh! What if you said something really embarrassing, like ‘Akechi Goro’s favorite Featherman movie is Featherman: Turbo Flight ’!”

“That’s not embarrassing,” Ryuji pointed out. 

“Oh trust me,” Futaba said, “it is.”

“Isn’t that the one with the motorcycles? I liked it!”

“Is that even true though?” Morgana asked, hopping up to the arm of the couch and ignoring Ryuji’s petulant outcry. “Would Akechi even respond to something totally made up?”

The others kept yelling about the potential embarrassment of liking various Featherman movies, but Ren stopped listening around this point. He was scrolling through all his old photos trying to find— yup. Perfect. 

“Would this work?” Ren turned his phone to the others.

“YES!” Futaba screeched with delight.

im da joker baby @jokeren2

[Photo of a teenage Akechi with his hair messed up and wearing Ren’s glasses]

[Photo of the sparkling water billboard that’s been haunting Ren every time he steps foot in Shibuya]

glow up

Ren held his breath. Distantly, he heard Ryuji complain, “Dude, how did you manage to turn this into a thirst post?” Then, within seconds—

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro 

Delete this. 

This set everyone off into a fit of laughter. Everyone except Ren, who was desperately fumbling with his phone trying to reply. Unfortunately, he didn't manage it in time.

This fleet has been deleted.

The others laughed even harder. Ren slumped back in shock. Akechi Goro followed him on Flitter. Akechi Goro had an alt account (because Ren definitely would have noticed if Akechi was following him on main.) Akechi Goro had notifications on for him. 

Ren’s phone buzzed.

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro 

You told me you deleted this photo.

This time Ren was quicker on the draw, the adrenaline already pumping through his system.

im da joker baby @jokeren2 

oh so you do remember me ;)

Akechi deleted his fleet within the next minute. Ren left both of his up.

TATI @titania33

JOKER CONFIRMED HE’S THE GUY IN THE CAFE PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

≽^•⩊•^≼ @dominyan

akechi goro’s bitch era @lowkeyloki

are we gonna talk about how fast akechi replied LMFAO

#1 morgana fan @naganaturals

I just know that somewhere out there a metuber is compiling a 2 hour video titled “all joker/akechi evidence” or smth

joker said rpf is fine @arii_adne 

thank you to the brave warriors at Akechi Goro HQ for making this possible 🫡

https://archiveofourown.info/works/65685961

Akechi Goro HQ @GORLHQ

🫡🫡🫡

☽ nastuki ☾ @archangellll

AHHH I CANT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!!!!!

Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland 

joker confirming it’s him in the cafe photo with a thirst tweet, arii_adne dropping a 17k fic… JOKER/AKECHI FANS ARE EATING WELL TONIGHT

ami plays games❣️ @amenouzume_

have you guys come to a consensus on the ship name lol

akechi goro’s bitch era @lowkeyloki

akechi fans can’t even come to a consensus on a fandom name lol

☽ nastuki ☾ @archangellll

it’s true 😞

Saito @belfegore 

I really hate how all Joker fans talk about these days is the shipping bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about the detective guy or whether he’s gay

stan critical thinking @setaunta

In their defense, Akechi is also all Joker talks about.

STREAM HEARTFINDER OUT NOW!!! @lililim

fr they’re all so delulu 🙄

TATI @titania33

did I just get called delulu by a joker@nn?? A JOKER@NN??????

Tsubaki @angeluriel

what’s joker@nn?

TATI @titania33

I’ll dm you lol

---

“So today we’re gonna be trying to get the last of Skelly’s prizes in Hades. Again. I’m gonna make it this time, guys.” 

Ren read questions from chat while he cleared the early stages.

“My favorite love interest? Meg,” he said, narrowly avoiding a numbskull. Whew. It’d be embarrassing to take any damage this early on in the run. 

“Joker murder kink confirmed,” he read. “Haven’t we already established that?”

fortunasfavour: yeah doesn’t he ship joshneku

naganaturals: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MURDER KINK

forneuss: ????

inugamer: i understand wanting girls to be mean to you but uhhhhh

amenouzume_: :disappointed-mona: :disappointed-mona: :disappointed-mona:

“I can’t believe you guys are kinkshaming me right now. I just think trying to kill each other is kind of hot.” Ren deadpanned. Speak of the devil; it was time to fight Meg. Ren ignored the chat to concentrate on the fight. 

forneuss: are you ok man

flamingsword: no he’s right let him cook

naganaturals: :distressed-mona: :distressed-mona: :distressed-mona:

inugamer: I mean. I do want meg to step on me

fortunasfavour: joker’s ultimate fantasy is a fight to the death with akechi goro

seiyuuu: @fortunasfavour LMAO 

NAVII: @fortunasfavour too real…..

RISETTE @Risette

[photo of 15-year-old Risette and 11-year-old Ren both making peace signs at the camera]

Wow, I can’t believe Renren @jokeren2 forgot all about his favorite neighbor :(

ami plays games❣️  @amenouzume_

called it

im da joker baby @jokeren2

i can’t believe you would expose me like this

STREAM HEARTFINDER OUT NOW!!! @lililim

THE CROSSOVER WE DIDN’T KNOW WE NEEDED. YOU DROPPED THIS QUEEN  👑👑👑

parvati <3 @thatstheparvatea

baby risette was so cuuuuute 🥺 who’s this guy?

m e i k o @rakshasassy

NO YOU HAVE TO START WATCHING JOKER. TRUST ME THE LORE GOES SO CRAZY

Hiro K @forneuss

I don’t know what I expected tbh. OF COURSE Joker knows Risette

joker’s (ex)wife @pixiiie

wake up babe new joker lore just dropped

Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland

BABY JOKER PIC!!!!!!!!!! oh my god i can die happy now

hiroko 🎡@fortunasfavour

THINGS WE KNOW ABOUT JOKER:

• juvenile delinquent (criminal record was expunged)
• graduated top of his class
• lives with a supermodel
• friends with Akechi Goro in HS
• risette was his childhood neighbor????

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

you forgot "obsessed with akechi" and "flitter troll"

aiko 💃 @goroswife

I just found out that @jokeren2 has a record of violent crime? I don’t know how people can morally justify stanning him, much less shipping him with Akechi-san…

sachi ❀ @narcissussy

UMM YOUR FAV HAS LITERALLY ADMITTED TO HELPING COVER UP MURDERS????

aiko 💃 @goroswife

That was a completely different situation, he was a minor.

Akechi Goro @AkechiGoro

I’ll be appearing on All Night Japan at 7pm Thursday. See you there.

Interviewer: So, I understand there was a lot of material that didn’t make it into the final draft of your book. Tell us about that. 

Akechi: When I first started writing the book, it was a lot more personal in nature. It was actually something my therapist had suggested, to help me look at my past through a more objective lens. But when I started seriously considering publishing it, I knew I had to cut a lot of that material out. I wanted the book to be about corruption in our nation’s institutions– not. Well. Me being homosexual.

Ren’s first thought while watching this was, Of course Akechi would use the word ‘homosexual’ instead of just calling himself gay. His second thought was, Holy shit, Akechi just came out. 

Akechi onscreen was talking again. Ren skipped back a bit to catch what he missed while freaking out. 

Interviewer: That must have been difficult, having to hide part of yourself in a book dedicated to exposing the truth.

Akechi: Not exactly. Don’t misunderstand me— I was still showing more of myself than ever before. I simply decided to keep this part private. I also wasn’t sure what the public response to the book would be, so I decided it would be better for the success of the book if I left it out in order to narrow the scope of the story. 

Interviewer: Still, this adds another dimension to the isolation you describe in your book.

Akechi: Yes, I’ll admit that much. And there were many important life events— important people who went totally unmentioned as a result. 

Ren bluescreened.

Akechi Goro HQ 🏳️‍🌈 @GORLHQ

So proud of you Akechi-san! We’ll always support you!!! 🏳️‍🌈

michael  @flamingsword

wait did akechi just confirm jokechi

Ohya Ichiko @OhyaIchiko

[jp.newssite.com/detective-prince-gay]

“Former “Detective Prince” Akechi Goro Comes Out As Gay”

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

He’s literally a bestselling author but sure, “former detective prince” is all that matters ig

Ohya Ichiko @OhyaIchiko

I don’t write the headlines, take it up with my editor girlie ♥️

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

that’s GORLIE to you

mayumi 🫶🏳️‍🌈 @gorldick

ONE OF US. ONE OF US

aiko 💃 @goroswife

This has to be some kind of joke. I can’t believe this

⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica

delulu he was never gonna fuck you <3

TATI @titania33

“important people who went totally unmentioned” -> hasn’t joker been complaining about how the book doesn’t mention him at all???

jun @phoenixwrong

akechi goro the detective prince coming out as gay was NOT on my 2022 bingo card

💗 fuji-ko-koro 💗@goro_love

I just wanted to say that as a queer person this means SO much to me. I grew up watching Akechi when I was in middle school and I always really idolized him, but as I got older I became more disenchanted with our govt. When The Crow Falls at Midnight was released, (🧵 1/15)

im da joker baby @jokeren2

so what you’re saying is… i’ve got a chance 👀