Chapter Text
Later the same day, it was just Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang left in the studio. Qiao Ling had stopped by before Xia Fei headed home, and the four of them had eaten dinner together. Instant noodles taste much better with good company.
But now Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang were alone together, like they were every evening. Really, there was no reason for this one to be any different. And yet, it felt like nothing would be the same ever again. Or at least, that was how Cheng Xiaoshi was feeling. Admittedly, he still couldn’t read Lu Guang’s mind, though not for a lack of trying.
They moved through all their usual motions, tidying the house and getting ready for bed. They did everything in tandem, looking over each room and checking they were at least mostly in order for the following day.
“You two really are joined at the hip.” Xia Fei had commented once, back when he was still adjusting to their routines. It was strange now, to think of a time in their lives when they hadn’t spent nearly every day with him.
“We live together.” Cheng Xiaoshi had pointed out.
“My old roommate and I didn’t do the dishes holding hands.” Xia Fei had said, grinning like a fox.
“We do not do that!” Cheng Xiaoshi complained. But even now, he still looked at Lu Guang’s hands while they were cleaning together. It would be impractical, really.
Back in the present, Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang organised the couch cushions, disassembling their game. Cheng Xiaoshi insisted on displaying all of their paper planes along a shelf, and Lu Guang obliged, though with a little complaint at the inclusion of Cheng Xiaoshi’s ‘plane’.
“It won the plane contest, so it counts as a plane!” He insisted.
“Sure, but it’s a little hard on the eyes, don’t you think?”
Cheng Xiaoshi gasped. He covered his paper ball’s imaginary ears, protecting it from the verbal onslaught.
“Have you seen Xia Fei’s work? His sorry excuse for a plane is far more difficult to look at than my beautiful, award winning basketball.”
“Trash ball.” Lu Guang correctly snidely.
“How dare you!” Cheng Xiaoshi cried, clutching his chest as though he had been shot through the heart.
“I’m just stating the facts.” Lu Guang defended.
Cheng Xiaoshi finally broke into a fit of laughter, and only grinned wider as he saw Lu Guang chuckling too. The beautiful boy’s face always lit up in the most incredible way when he laughed. Cheng Xiaoshi admired the glimmer in his eyes, the flush of pink dusting his nose, the gentle curve in his lips… Cheng Xiaoshi looked away quickly as his mind began to wander. Lu Guang, however, continued to gaze at him.
A moment later, Cheng Xiaoshi realised that they were standing in silence. He cleared his throat, abruptly announcing that they had other parts of the house to clean. He raced upstairs without so much as another glance Lu Guang’s way. If Cheng Xiaoshi had taken the time to look, he might have seen the similarly flustered expression on his face.
As Cheng Xiaoshi burst into their bedroom, he let out a horrified cry, witnessing the heinous sight within. Lu Guang was at his side a moment later. He gave a long, hissing sigh.
“Xia Fei forgot about this, didn’t he.” Lu Guang observed.
“I hope so! I’m going to give him such an earful tomorrow.” Cheng Xiaoshi growled.
Dozens of paper planes littered the space, in all shapes and sizes, caught in every nook and cranny the room had to offer.
“How did he even make this many? I only gave you fifteen minutes!” Cheng Xiaoshi tried not to sound too impressed.
“Clearly, he decided to take quantity over quality.” Lu Guang said, looking down his nose.
“Evidently that was the right strategy. You lost our contest, remember?” Cheng Xiaoshi pointed out, then immediately bit his tongue, remembering the aftermath of that result.
He watched Lu Guang’s ears turn pink. His mind had clearly gone to the same place.
“Ahem. Anyway. Let’s get this cleaned up.” Cheng Xiaoshi said quickly, eager to move swiftly on from… that .
“Cheng Xiaoshi-” Lu Guang tried, but the boy was already across the room.
Lu Guang sighed, and joined him in gathering the planes.
“Oh my god, how did he manage this?” Cheng Xiaoshi exclaimed, noticing a plane tucked up on top of their bunk bed.
“There? That’s nothing. I bet there’s one on top of the shelf.” Lu Guang said, pointing at the crevice between the ceiling and the top of the closet.
Cheng Xiaoshi scrambled up onto the top bunk and craned his neck, trying to see into the narrow space. He yelped with delight.
“There is! Two of them! How did he do that, let alone twice?” Cheng Xiaoshi squeaked.
“He really is a man of many talents.” Lu Guang said, smiling up at Cheng Xiaoshi.
Cheng Xiaoshi noticed this, and quickly looked at anything else, desperately looking for another distraction.
“What… um…” He mumbled as he climbed back down to the ground. “What do you think is the weirdest place we can find one?”
He hopped off the ladder, and found himself face to face with Lu Guang.
“Oh, um.” Cheng Xiaoshi murmured, trying to take a step backwards, but his leg hit the edge of the bed, and he lost his balance, falling backward.
Lu Guang stifled a laugh, and sat down beside him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He offered.
“What do you mean?” Cheng Xiaoshi said, accidentally looking at Lu Guang’s lips and looking away quickly. “What’s there to talk about?”
Lu Guang chuckled quietly. “You know what.”
Cheng Xiaoshi risked looking at him again, and the sight of Lu Guang made his breath catch in his throat. His eyes were soft with affection, glittering with every star in the sky.
“I just. I keep thinking about…” Cheng Xiaoshi started, struggling to find the words.
“I know. Me too.” Lu Guang assured.
Cheng Xiaoshi looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. Lu Guang smiled nervously.
“You… you do?” Cheng Xiaoshi gulped.
Lu Guang nodded.
“Oh. Okay. Cool.” Cheng Xiaoshi breathed.
He flopped back on his bed, staring blankly up at the underside of Lu Guang’s bunk. He was pretty sure his brain was short circuiting. Certainly, it felt like it was overheating, if how hot his face was any indicator.
Lu Guang simply sat and looked at him for a minute, then sighed, laying down beside him.
How did I manage to do this before? Lu Guang wondered. He went back over the day’s events for the millionth time.
He was lying sideways, facing Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang noticed that his eyes had wandered from Cheng Xiaoshi’s lips and settled on his hand, where it was resting gently atop his chest.
Maybe… Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Lu Guang realised.
He took a slow, deep breath. He reached out for Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand. He felt warm under Lu Guang’s fingertips, like he always did. Like he was made of sunshine. It helped him still his racing heart, as Cheng Xiaoshi looked over at him, a wave of surprise washing over his face. But it settled again quickly into a warm grin, as he interlaced their fingers, squeezing Lu Guang’s hand ever so slightly. Lu Guang squeezed back.
They lay there like that for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. Cheng Xiaoshi closed his eyes, listening to the familiar sound of Lu Guang’s breathing. Lu Guang gazed at Cheng Xiaoshi’s lips, still confounded by how he had managed to close the distance between them and his own only hours prior.
I didn’t think about it. Lu Guang remembered. I just… kissed him.
He wasn’t sure that he could muster quite that level of courage right this second. But he had found enough to get this far. He only had to take the next step.
Lu Guang detangled his finger’s from Cheng Xiaoshi’s. The boy opened his eyes, looking at him with a confused expression, immediately missing the contact. But he didn’t complain, only watched Lu Guang, waiting to see where he was going, ready to follow him anywhere.
Ignoring the slight shake in his hand, Lu Guang brought his fingers up to Cheng Xiaoshi’s face, lightly brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. He watched with glee as the corners of Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes crinkled ever so slightly.
Lu Guang let his fingertips hover near Cheng Xiaoshi’s forehead. It felt just as warm as the rest of him. He traced his fingers along the side of his face, pausing by the corner of his mouth.
He thought about tracing the soft curve of his lips. It wouldn’t be difficult to do. They had gotten this far already, and Cheng Xiaoshi hadn’t cringed away from him, or looked at him like he was doing something weird, or done any of the other terrifying things Lu Guang’s brain told him would happen.
Lu Guang let out a long, shaky breath. Almost a sigh, but he held it until his lungs felt completely empty before he inhaled again. He realised he had shut his eyes at some point, because when he opened them again he saw Cheng Xiaoshi watching him patiently. He was positively glowing, almost vibrating with excitement and anticipation. But he was staying still, watching and waiting for Lu Guang to calm his racing mind.
Lu Guang couldn’t have held back his fond smile if he tried. Cheng Xiaoshi was always so gentle and patient with him. His hand was still resting on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face, cupping it lightly in his palm. Lu Guang brushed his thumb tenderly over his cheek. Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes drifted closed as he leaned into the touch ever so slightly. Lu Guang felt his heart melt.
“You’re so cute…” He breathed. He could feel Cheng Xiaoshi’s cheeks grow warm under his fingertips as he blushed.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s delicate eyelashes fluttered open once more, looking up at Lu Guang with a searching expression. He was thinking about… something. Lu Guang gulped. But Cheng Xiaoshi still didn’t move, evidently electing against whatever idea he was mulling over.
Lu Guang took another steady, even breath.
He shifted on the bed, moving a few inches closer to Cheng Xiaoshi’s face. Two hearts raced. And Cheng Xiaoshi sat up. The near magnetic attraction between the two severed suddenly.
Lu Guang blinked for a second, confused. But then he righted himself as well, peering curiously at the boy beside him. Cheng Xiaoshi was hunched over himself, his face in his hands.
“Are you ok?” Lu Guang asked softly.
“Mmhm…” Cheng Xiaoshi confirmed. Lu Guang waited, and after a moment he explained, “It just. Felt very real.”
“It is real.” Lu Guang responded instinctively. But then he added, “I… I know what you mean, though.”
“Yeah…” Cheng Xiaoshi breathed, unfurling himself to stretch out his back.
As he looked up, he found himself laughing.
“Oh god. I forgot about this.” He said, gesturing at the dozens of paper planes still littering the room.
“Yep. Looks like a snow storm blew through. I think we should find a plough.”
Cheng Xiaoshi tittered with laughter. The sound made Lu Guang relax considerably. He hadn’t even noticed how tense he was.
I don’t need to be so stressed. It’s just him. Him and me. Like it always is.
Lu Guang watched Cheng Xiaoshi laugh to himself, waiting for him to settle before leaning a little closer. He noticed this happen, and Lu Guang felt his heart clench as fear flashed across Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes.
“Hey, it’s ok.” Lu Guang assured. “It’s just me.”
“I… I know.” Cheng Xiaoshi hesitated. “But you’re not usually…” He trailed off.
“I know.”
Lu Guang looked up at the roof as he considered something. He almost lost his train of thought as he noticed a plane caught in the ceiling light. He just about managed to stifle his laugh, refusing to get distracted.
“Would it be better if we tried taking things at your pace?” Lu Guang offered.
“Yes.” Cheng Xiaoshi said immediately, but then seemed to think better of this. “But I don’t know if-”
“I’ll let you know if I want to stop.” Lu Guang interrupted.
“You’re positively reading my mind tonight.” Cheng Xiaoshi grinned.
“I try my best.”
“You don’t need to. You’re allowed to just be here. With me.”
“I’m… not sure I know how to do that.”
“Fair enough.” Cheng Xiaoshi chuckled.
He paused for a moment, just… looking at Lu Guang. He suddenly felt very seen. Lu Guang resisted the urge to hide away again, by any means necessary. He didn’t need to run away, not now, not from Cheng Xiaoshi.
Lu Guang startled a little when he felt something warm touch his face. He had gotten lost in his thoughts again, not noticing Cheng Xiaoshi moving closer to him. His hand was cupping Lu Guang’s face now, much like he had done to Cheng Xiaoshi’s a moment ago. Why did it already feel like years had passed since that moment?
“Is this ok?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked.
Lu Guang smiled, nodding slightly. He tried to move as little as possible, not wanting to accidentally shake Cheng Xiaoshi’s touch from his skin.
Cheng Xiaoshi grinned. Lu Guang’s breath caught in his throat as he noticed that Cheng Xiaoshi was gazing at his lips. Cheng Xiaoshi felt his pulse quicken where his fingertips brushed Lu Guang’s neck.
“It’s ok. It’s just me.” Cheng Xiaoshi whispered.
“I know.” Lu Guang breathed, and the longing in his voice surprised them both.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s fingertips wandered across Lu Guang’s skin, tracing the curve of his jaw, the tender spot just below his ear, the back of his neck, the scruff of his white hair. It was softest there, the lightest of baby hairs along his nape, tender as silk and nearly transparent where it was closer to his shoulders, invisible to the naked eye, but Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t need to see them when he could feel each and every strand now, under his fingertips. He wanted to stay there all day, counting every last hair, just so every single part of Lu Guang, every fiber of his being, every last molecule in his body, might know how much Cheng Xiaoshi adored him.
Lu Guang melted into his hands, finally allowing himself to relax. Cheng Xiaoshi cupped Lu Guang’s face in his palms, beaming at the cute way his cheeks squished.
“You’re positively adorable.” Cheng Xiaoshi giggled.
Lu Guang exhaled through his nose, evidently irritated by this remark.
“It’s true. You’re the cutest.” Cheng Xiaoshi insisted, squishing Lu Guang’s face more.
“I regret everything.” Lu Guang deadpanned.
His voice was a little muffled by how Cheng Xiaoshi was holding him. It made them both laugh.
Lu Guang felt warm from his red cheeks all the way to the tips of his toes. It was only natural, when he was being held by the sun itself. And Lu Guang reflected that warmth back to Cheng Xiaoshi. He pried one of Cheng Xiaoshi’s hands from his face, just enough so that he could tenderly kiss his palm.
Cheng Xiaoshi squeaked with surprise, much to Lu Guang’s delight. He kissed his hand again, and again, chuckling softly as Cheng Xiaoshi only grew more and more flustered. He was using his free hand now to try and hide his beet red face. But this only drove Lu Guang to grow bolder, pressing his lips to the inside of his wrist, the back of his hand, his fingertips.
After a moment Lu Guang remembered himself, and apologised, squeezing Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand gently as he spoke.
“Huh?” Cheng Xiaoshi squeaked.
“I just said I would take things slower.” Lu Guang explained.
“Oh, right.” Cheng Xiaoshi considered, trying to force his brain to stop overheating. “It’s ok, I’m excited too.”
Excitement? Was that what the tight feeling in his chest was? Lu Guang wasn’t used to feeling this way at all.
“I’ll stop now.” He said firmly.
“Ah, okay.” Cheng Xiaoshi breathed, still trying to collect himself.
They sat in silence for a heartbeat, each lost in their own mind. Eventually Cheng Xiaoshi noticed the troubled expression that Lu Guang was failing to contain.
“Really, Guang-Guang, it’s okay.” Cheng Xiaoshi said, wrapping his arms around Lu Guang’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry.” Lu Guang apologised again.
“I’m not mad at you,” Cheng Xiaoshi assured, “it’s cute to see you get carried away.”
“Oh…” Lu Guang exhaled, the tip of his nose growing warm. “Really?”
Cheng Xiaoshi rested his chin on Lu Guang’s shoulder. “Mm-hm.” He hummed.
His voice buzzed in Lu Guang’s ear, reverberating through his trembling heart. He sighed, trying to release some of the tension that had gathered in his shoulders once more. Cheng Xiaoshi held him a little closer. He pressed his face to Lu Guang’s, nuzzling his cheek.
Lu Guang chuckled a little, relaxing into Cheng Xiaoshi; it felt like trying to lean closer to the sun. He was already saturated in his golden light, he was helpless to try to absorb any more of it. But then Cheng Xiaoshi’s fingertips were pressed gently under his jaw, guiding Lu Guang’s face closer to his own, and Cheng Xiaoshi’s lips were on his, and the world never seemed brighter.
Lu Guang melted into the kiss. All of the tension of their shared anticipation and overthinking and excitement unravelled at once, and everything fell away. There was nothing but Cheng Xiaoshi’s warmth and joy and love. Lu Guang could bask in it forever.