Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Loki looked around warily. After Odin had banished Thor after the events of the day before, Laufey had reached back out, stating that if Loki returned to Jotunheim with the Casket to repair and restore Jotunheim, he would back down from a war.

Which led to today, standing on the icy world. Loki still had told no one about what had happened in the battle, of how his arm turned blue. It made him nervous but he’d killed the only witness.

“Ah, so the All-Father does keep his word.”

Loki whipped around to see the king of Jotunheim. “King Laufey, we appreciate your hospitality.” He bowed. “I have come with the Casket to restore your world as agreed.”

“So polite and formal. Are you quite certain you are Aesir?” Loki couldn’t help the flinch at that. “No matter. No need for such formalities. We are not Asgard. We prefer honest opinions over pretty words. You may call me Laufey, or sir if you must insist on formality. Come, I will show you to your rooms you shall be staying in for the duration of your stay.”

 Loki stared after the Jotun King as he walked toward an icy… palace? Why was he being so nice? He shook himself out of it and rushed after the… Laufey who had slowed himself to match a comfortable pace until he caught up.

“Are you cold little Loki?” Laufey asked, an odd look in his eyes that Loki couldn’t quite identify. “The All-Father has sent you rather under clothed for our winter.”

“Don’t call me little.” Loki grumbled. “And I’ve always enjoyed the winter and cold. This is actually quite comfortable.” The glint in Laufey’s eyes made Loki uncomfortable.

“Forgive me, a Jotun your age would be considered a young child.” Laufey said as they walked. “Our young mature slowly. My oldest would be about your age.”

Would be? “Did something happen to him?”

Laufey looked pained at that. “He was murdered at the end of the war with the Aesir. We never even found his body, only a pool of blood where he was being kept safe.”

“I’m sorry.” And he was. Jotun or not, no child should be murdered.

A grief stricken but mixed with something… odd Loki couldn’t place came over Laufey’s face. “Let’s move on shall we. These will be your rooms while you are here. Speak up if you need anything.”

Loki looked around the room. It wasn’t Asgard but it was pleasant in a much more tangible way. There were fine furs lining what appeared to be a bed, the room was a comfortable temperature. There was actually a bathtub. He felt a twinge of guilt that he wished for that luxury on Asgard. Aesir for the most part didn’t bathe regularly. Just another way he was different. “Thank you.”

-0-0-0-0-

When the Jotnar started waking up was when Loki got to meet Jotunheim’s Queen. He was taken aback when he saw her. The grey/blue skin and markings and red eyes aside, she could pass for him in his feminine form. She was even fairly short.

She could easily pass for his… no, he was not going to go there. “I thought frost giants were tall.” He flushed as he realized what he’d blurted out. “Sorry.”

She raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Warriors are usually. What need does a mage have for brute strength and large build? No, those of us blessed with magic are what other realms would consider on the higher end of average size.”

He was surprised by that. Asgard had always made fun of his magic. “And people are… okay with that?” He asked skeptically.

“Why wouldn’t they be?” She frowned. “Mages are just as useful and powerful if not more so than trained warriors without magic.”

Loki looked down, fighting the urge to fidget. The more he learned about Jotunheim the more he wished Asgard was like it. “In Asgard it is considered Ergi to practice Seidr.”

“And that’s considered a bad thing?” She asked, seeming genuinely confused. “Most Jotnar frequently enough switch gender roles. We are born full hermaphrodites. We can all carry and sire children and have the parts for both. I know some races only have or the other.”

Loki’s breathing quickened into near panic. That was normal to the Jotnar? How often had lovers made fun of him for that before he stopped seeking out Aesir partners?

---Farbauti---

Laufey had told her of the strong possibility that the second Aesir Prince was their Loki, but Laufey had failed to mention that Loki was… frankly the spitting image of her in Aesir skin with green eyes.

No matter what Laufey said, this was her son. She just knew it. But how to prove it without traumatizing the child further. Her husband had told her what Raze had seen on the battlefield. Clearly the child was still spooked by the incident.

Her son wasn’t ready to accept that he was Jotun and it hurt. But she would do everything she could for him. She sat next to him as he stiffened. “I won’t pretend we have a good relationship with the Aesir, Loki, but I am a mother first and foremost. If you ever need a home, a family, a place to stay, you will always be welcome in our home.”

“You don’t even know me.” He said softly.

“I know enough.” She looked into his eyes firmly. “I know that you are a youngling that feels adrift. I know that your talents aren’t properly appreciated. Being a Seidrmadr is a high honor in our culture. It’s a gift from the powers that be. Nor should there be any shame in being as much feminine as masculine.”

She saw panic reach his eyes as he noticed her hand gripping his and where his was turning blue before he snatched it away looking around frantically. “Calm, Loki.” She grit her teeth at having to pretend. “Odin is a half blood Jotun. There is Jotun blood in you and Thor.”

The look of pure relief on Loki’s face was worth it. “You… you mean this is normal?”

She grimaced. “I’m saying that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not Frigga and Odin’s child.” Even if she was certain he wasn’t. But he wasn’t ready, and until they had hard proof, they could not rally the other realms. She wouldn’t push her son to be ready

Soon, she hoped.

Chapter Text

Farbauti eventually reluctantly left Loki to have some peace to go deal with her husband. “Might be ours?!” She hissed furiously. “That child is the spitting image of me! Give me one good reason not to make a public example out of Odin child-thief!”

Laufey sighed. “Wife, we have no proof. We need to do this right, or we could lose him forever. Besides which, Loki has been raised Aesir, to hate our kind. To bring this to trial would be to expose his true species. I want Odin to pay just as much as you do, Farbauti, but we must take care of our son’s needs first.”

“But he’s ours.” She growled, ice forming, unnoticed. “You would let him return to Asgard, separated from us forever?”

“He’s here, isn’t he?” Laufey leaned back, suddenly feeling much older. “I have no intention of allowing him to return to Asgard. I informed Odin that restoration of Jotunheim will take approximately a year, and he agreed. We have a year to get our proof, and let our son settle into his life here.”

She snarled, stomping off.

---Byleist---

Byleist, Laufey and Farbauti’s youngest, stared in horror at his parents from his hidden corner. The Aesir prince was his long dead older sibling? He’d grown up revering his older sibling, vowing vengeance against the Aesir for killing him.

How was this even possible? When he’d been old enough, his parents had explained that despite the lack of a body, there had been far too much blood for Loki to have survived.

Then again, he bit his lip, the All-Father was a known Seidrmadr.

No, it made too much sense. The All-Father had always sought to control Jotunheim, along with the other realms. Stealing the rightful crown prince to Jotunheim, raising him to hate his own kind?

What better position to place Loki as a puppet King of Jotunheim, probably with the hope of Loki killing his own father in anger or a misguided attempt to gain Odin’s respect?

He shuffled away before his parents could notice him there. He had inherited his mother’s magic, but it was only her fury that distracted her from noticing his presence. He was only beginning to learn control of his magic.

He found his way to the room where Loki was staying. Father had placed him quite near. He gasped as he saw Loki’s face, even more when he was startled into a fighting stance before settling. “Who are you? You look like Laufey.”

Byleist jolted out of his stupor. “My name’s Byleist. Younger prince of Jotunheim. Your brother. You… you really are my brother, Loki.” He whispered the last.

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

“Mom and dad were arguing about you, they mentioned…”

“I am not a frost giant!” Loki snarled at Byleist who backed up a step. There was a flicker in Loki’s appearance and Byleist could see blue skin and red eyes hazy underneath.

“You are. You are my brother.” Byleist whispered, looking at the markings. The same markings he himself carried. The markings of the royal family.

Clearly Loki had noticed, too, as the Aesir form snapped back in place as he yelled, “Get out! Just… just get out!”

---Farbauti---

Just as she was stomping away from the throne room, Farbauti’s heart dropped as she heard Loki yelling and her youngest fleeing from Loki’s room. She barely caught Byleist. “What’s wrong?” She asked softly as he sobbed.

“L… Loki hates me.” He whispered.

She sighed, realizing Byleist must have overheard and told Loki. She held him to her. “He doesn’t hate you, little one. He’s having an identity crisis. Give him some time to accept himself.

A few minutes later once Byleist had calmed down and run off to play she entered Loki’s room to see him in full Jotun form, looking dejectedly at the ice mirror. He truly did look just like her.

“I’m a monster.” He whispered as he saw her in the mirror.

Farbauti sighed, tugging him away from the mirror and toward the bed. “You aren’t a monster, Loki. We wanted to ease you into this. Byleist is… young, he doesn’t understand such things yet. He meant no harm.”

“It’s true then?” He asked her brokenly.

She traced the markings on his face. “We weren’t certain. Raze, the one you fought on the battlefield, told my husband what he’d seen. Coupled with your appearance, Laufey wished to bring you to Jotunheim to find out.”

Loki stared down at his blue hands. “Why don’t I look like him?”

Farbauti smiled softly. “Our first children rarely look like their bearer. There are subtle similarities, though, even if not strictly physical. The way you hold yourself, much of your personality, if what I’ve heard is true. Ever wonder where you get your trickster personality? Or your… ‘silvertongue’? My husband also has always loved reading and studying. You may have inherited my appearance and magical talent, but you are as much my husband’s child as you are mine.”

Loki digested that for a bit. “What do you mean, bearer?” He finally asked.

Farbauti smiled gently. “I mentioned before that we often switch gender roles. You were… a bit of a surprise to be honest. When we first married, Laufey preferred the role of Queen, and I, the King. Laufey carried you inside of him, while I bore Helblindi and Byleist. You were… ah, I believe the common term nowadays would be a ‘honeymoon baby’. We hadn’t planned on having children so soon, but it was a welcome surprise.”

Loki’s jaw tightened as he looked away. “What’s my real name, then?” He asked, strained.

Farbauti squeezed his hand. “Your name has always been Loki. It’s the name Laufey and I gave you at your naming ceremony. When we found out Odin had a second same named Loki, we assumed he had been mocking our loss. We never thought…” She trailed off, choking up. “I swear to you, if we’d even had a glimmer of hope that you were our Loki, we would’ve burnt the tree of Yggdrasil if that’s what it took to bring you home.”

Chapter Text

Laufey watched sadly as Loki picked at his breakfast. Farbauti had told him that Loki had been told the truth. Making up his mind, he plucked Loki, who was entirely too skinny, even considering his age and status as a mage, and placed him on his lap.

If the boy wouldn’t eat on his own, Laufey would do it for him. Loki protested loudly, trying to escape Laufey’s grip.

“Stop wriggling, child. You may not be ready to accept your heritage, but I will get you to a healthy weight. Eat. You will find our food far more palatable than you surely did Aesir food.

Loki protested but finally grabbed some of the food.

Laufey was pleased to see his child seemed to enjoy it greatly. The Aesir were a close enough species, but their food preparation left much to be desired to a Jotun. Their food was painfully overcooked and they used far too much seasoning.

It horrified him in so many ways that his son was raised on Asgard. Even before tensions rose, Jotnar rarely visited Asgard. Between the dry heat and the unpalatable food…

It infuriated him. Loki wouldn’t have understood why he was so different from the Aesir around him but Odin would’ve known. He had not only stolen Loki, but clearly hadn’t ensured his needs were met, had made him feel like an outcast, had forced him to be an adult. Not to mention the trauma of having been forced into an altered form for so long.

Loki was, in fact, a perfectly normal Jotun child for his age, aside from being severely malnourished. And the Aesir had mocked him for it, for his gifts.

“I’m not a baby.” Loki groused indignantly.

Laufey looked at him, amused. “No, you are just a severely malnourished young child. Byleist weighs more than you and he’s 2 centuries younger. A youngling your age should still have their baby fat. You look like a good gust could knock you over.”

Now Loki turned around, looking highly offended. “Excuse you, I am well within a healthy weight.”

“For an Aesir, maybe.” Laufey snarled. “The Aesir have always been a very vain species. However regardless, you are not Aesir. And at a minimum, Odin knew this. Fat is critical to our species growth, unlike the Aesir. And growth aside, our planet requires us to have a bit of fat reserves so we can live comfortably. Now, eat. You wish to be treated more maturely?  Start taking care of your basic needs. Aesir ideals have no place here and while I respect that you’re adjusting, that doesn’t mean I will let you allow your health to suffer. If I have to force feed you, I will. Farbauti will back me on that.”

Loki refused to look him in the eyes.

“Loki…” He sighed. “You are Jotun. Whether you like or accept that fact. Our dietary needs are very different. We eat very few plants, most of our diet comes from meat. We are a carnivorous species. Accept your birthplace or don’t but this is what your body requires. I am not asking you to accept our kind or our family until you’re ready. I am merely asking you to take care of your health.”

Fortunately, Loki started eating again.

-0-0-0-0-

Loki brought out the Casket after dinner.

Laufey stood next to him. “You don’t have to do this, you know. It was merely the excuse I used to get you here so we could find out if you were indeed ours.”

Loki looked very much his age suddenly. “I need the distraction.” He admitted.

Laufey squeezed his son’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Loki. If things had been different…” He choked up at that. “This is your home. Where you belong. We aren’t the evil creatures you’ve been raised to believe. If I’d had any idea that Odin would be so callous as to steal our child to use as a bargaining chip… Odin was always a right bastard, but I didn’t think for a moment that he’d stoop that low.”

“Why?” Loki finally asked. “Why would you intentionally start a war by attacking Midgard with a newborn at home?”

Laufey’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Is that what the Aesir taught you? We did not attack Midgard, nor did we start the war. The All-Father was on a quest to conquer the 9. Midgard reached out to us for help. Our armies were the only one with a hope of stopping Odin’s forces. Also, you were hardly a newborn. A baby, yes, but already a talented Seidrmadr, a prodigy. You were hardly helpless. We left you in our most sacred temple, fully believing it would keep you safe. As well as the Seidrmadrs protecting the temple. Odin slaughtered them all. The Aesir were never even supposed to reach Jotunheim. When we retreated, we never expected Odin to follow.”

“F… Odin told us you used the Casket to freeze Tonsberg and that’s why he took the casket.”

Laufey forced himself not to flinch at the slip. “We did use the Casket. And that’s where the battle took place. The only ones the casket was used against, however, were the Aesir.” They reached the temple entrance. “This is where we will start. Our legends state this is where the Jotnar were first born. It is the original home to the Casket from which our powers originate.”

---Loki---

As they entered the temple, Loki looked around. It was pretty standard for a temple, to include an altar with raised edges, which had a stone tablet in front of it. Loki let out a gasp as he approached the altar, noticing the large pool of blood upon it. “Is that…?”

“Yes.” Laufey came up behind him. “That is where we believed Odin murdered you.” He waved at the stone tablet.

‘The final place of Crown Prince Loki Laufeyjarson. Forever in our hearts and memories. May the Gods bless you. Let hope never be forgotten and love never be lost.’

Loki traced the tablet, pale. They had mourned him. The people of Jotunheim had been here, prayed for him. The stone just in front of the tablet had been worn down from a millenia and a half of the Jotnar coming to mourn for him.